> sOunds liKE BAd faNFicTIOn. > by TheMajorTechie > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter the whaaaaaat? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Twilight Sparkle woke with a heavy gasp, jerking upright in her cot.  “Heh, it’s ‘bout time you woke up,” she heard a voice peep, “My mom says you’ve been sleeping there for over a decade!” Twilight rubbed her eyes, glancing about the room before they set on Scootaloo. “Wait—” the mare sputtered, “Wait hold on, I thought—” “Hey, don’t worry about it.” Scootaloo chuckled standing up from her seat, “You’ll see what’s going on in time…” The filly turned to the door. “Scootaloo?” “Yeah? Wait... you know my name?!” Twilight turned in the filly’s direction, propping herself up with a hoof. “You said that your mom knew about me.” She paused for a moment, before continuing. “Also, yes. You’re friends with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, right?” “...Yeah… but… how did you know?” The mare shrugged, smiling. “Just a hunch.” The sound of crackling static filled the air as an off-grey mare with a black mane stumbled into the room, coughing as she lit her horn. “Alright alright,” the mare sighed, “What’s going on in this little bubble of reality?” Scootaloo raised a brow, her hoof set on the doorknob. “I… what? What are you talking abouuuuuuu…u...u-uuuu…” “Oh… oh no… oh, nonononononono…” Twilight stammered quietly, kicking backwards in her cot, “Please… not this again… no… not—” Her vision blurred as the soft light streaming through the windows began to flicker. Flecks of color began to dance across everything in the room before abruptly disappearing. Piece by piece, bit by bit, the world began to disintegrate around the mare. “Please—” —- Lisa Garnet jerked upright in bed, sweating profusely as she gasped for air. “Lis?” came a voice behind her bedroom door, “You alright in there?” The girl blinked, staring down at her hands, then to the door. “Y-yeah… I think I am. Did… was I having another nightmare or something?” “Seems like it,” the voice sighed, “If you need anything, I’ll just be in my room, ‘kay?” Lisa let out a grunt in acknowledgement, turning her attention to her phone on the side of her desk… A Nokia… Shaking her head, she laid back down and pulled the covers over herself, groaning in annoyance. —- Twilight Sparkle lets out a light sigh, staring passively at the blank pages before her. “Hey Spike?” “Yeah?” “What else do you think I should write today? I’ve written everything from alternate timelines to a fictional obsession of Princess Luna’s over lava. Do you think… do you think I should stop?” Spike shook his head. “Do you want to stop?” “Nope.” “LAVA!” Luna screeched, screaming across the nighttime sky in a blazing fireball, “EVERYTHING IS LAVAAAAAA!” Twilight blinked, then turned back to her assistant. “Case and point, Spike. What I write seems to bleed over into parallel realities to our own. And in this case, it seems that we’re about to see all of those realities collide.” “What are you even talking abou—” Spike didn’t get to finish his sentence before the dreamscape was pummeled by Princess Luna and her dreamscape chainsawTM.  “SOMEBODY CATCH HER!” Celestia boomed, racing after her sister, “BEFORE SHE GETS TO THE FRIED CHICKEN DEALER!” “WHAT’S EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE?!” Pinkie Pie yelled in panic, emerging from one of Twilight’s bookshelves as she waved her hooves all around. “I DON’T EVEN KNOW!” Spike yelled in return. “Don’t worry, I can fix this.” Sunset Shimmer beamed, holding up a Shamwow cloth, “I just need a bit of Flex Tape to go with it.” “Where’d you come from?” Twilight burst, her mind still buzzing in confusion. Sunset Shimmer only shrugged in response. —- “Gadget, look!” Ranell beamed, pointing a finger at the swirling portal, “You did it. You can go home now.” Gadget’s eyes widened as she saw the view of the other side. It was breathtaking, it was magnificent, it was absolutely amazing, it was… a red and black alicorn oc holding a table leg? “Is that a red and black alicorn OC holding a table leg?” Professor Delmar chimed in, “She looks… familiar…” For her part, Butter Knife (AKA Slick Shank AKA Butterball AKA Slick Stuff AKA False Edge AKA whatever the heck you wanna call her) blew a raspberry at the two humans and one unicorn filly. “What do you want?” Slippery Edge snorted, staring at the trio through the portal, “Is life not enough for you? Do you wish to challenge me? The Alicorn of… um… the Alicorn… of…” Not actually edginess? “Oh shut up, you.” The narrator of the story shuts up. Hmm… let’s see what’s going on somewhere else, shall we? —- On the outskirts of Ponyville…whichever Ponyville version this is... The forest was full of life, with some birds, and crickets chirping. There was a lone fox, looking up, as it heard a noise that it didn’t recognise, among all the sounds in the woods. The sound was a low hum, but it was massive. The fox felt it in their core.  Suddenly, the hum turned into a loud roar. It sounded like a jet engine, which startled the fox, and any wildlife in the area. The fox ran, as something appeared in the sky.  A huge portal materialized above the forest. It had a mix of different colors, some purples, blacks, and dark blues in the portal’s color scheme. As it swirled in the sky, a dark azure organism fell from it. It was making loud shouts, full of terror. The portal vanished, leaving nothing in its wake…  The blue thing fell on the ground, with a loud THUMP. Dirt kicked up, as the blue thing growled as the impact knocked the wind out of its mouth. It rolled slightly onto its side, trying to catch its breath. Soon it muttered something to itself.  “Ugh… what the… what… how? What just happened…?” He asked himself. He slowly stood up, and glanced around. He shuddered, as dirt rolled off his back. The creature rubbed the back of his neck, blinking as he observed his surroundings.  As he did so, he couldn’t help but lose himself in the sounds of the woods. He proceeded to sit down on the cold ground, and begun to meditate. He closed his eyes, and he listened to the wind hit the trees, the birds chirping in the distance, as well as a lone woodpecker hit bark, somewhere nearby. Sadly, his peace was short lived, when he heard some twigs snapping, and footsteps coming toward him.  He turned to the sound, and he opened his eyes. There, standing next to a tree, was a figure he wasn’t familiar with. The person’s features were obscured slightly, and he seemed to be holding something in his right hand. The blue creature took a moment to observe, only to quickly realize what it was. He quickly jumped, as the visitor lifted his right arm up, and pointed the object at him.  “BLAST!” The blue creature landed a few feet away, and he glanced at his original position. What was once where he sat, was now nothing but burnt dirt and ash. He shivered, and turned to the figure.  “What are you?” He asked. The figure lowered his arm, and walked up to him. His features were no longer obscured, and his true self shined. The attacker had dark, metallic blue stripes going down the sides of his body, with a long tail, that transitioned from black, to the same blue at the tip. He had blue eyes, that were pupilless, and was almost one third of his head’s mass. He had a black, semi-transparent crystal on top of his head, which was the first thing the blue creature saw.  “I was about to ask you the same thing. What’re you suppose to be?” The other said. The blue creature blinked, before he stood up, cautiously.  “The name’s Neocros, Neocros the Water Dragon.” Neocros declared. The other smirked.  “Ah, I’ve heard about you. But I’m not afraid of you.” He said. Neocros put both of his hands on the side of his hips.  “Ya think? When you tried to harm me?” Neocros said, a matter of factly. “Now answer this, what’re you?”  “I’m… Akai. Or at least, I thought I was...” Akai trailed off near the end. Akai shook his thoughts away, and focused on Neocros. “Now then, now that we know each other, it’s best that you start running. I’d really like for you to be in my figurine collection.”  Neocros rose his eyebrows, he knew what was coming next, and a chill ran down his back.  “Nani?” He uttered, before he bolted south of their location. Akai turned to Neocros, and smirked.  “Heh, he’s out of his environment. I better catch him, and then catch that Rainbow girl.” He muttered to himself, before he began to slowly follow Neocros, like a slasher villain in a horror movie…  ____ “This is the part where everything ends up falling to pieces.” Butter Knife sneered, “Or at the very least, crumbling down into the abysmal pile of jumbled logic that all stories at their very core tend to be.” Wait, since when did you get invited back in here? “The Scroll of What-Iffingstorn,” Oily Greased Kitchen Utensil answered, “He sent me a letter with the Super Smash Bros. thingy on it, but I yeeted it from his hand and came here to watch the carnage instead.” Oh. The mare yawned, popping another grape in her mouth. “Anyway, let’s see what’s goin’ on in the next place over.” —- “Impossible… Is this… my limit?”  Nightmare Moon, the great demon of darkness, lay spread on her back. She couldn't move, even though moments before her powers had peaked. Everything was in place, the portal to the demon realm was ready to be opened, the sacred swords used to seal it had been obtained, and blood of Celestia's students had been spilled. But now, sticking through her dense, enchanted chest plate, and piercing directly through her heart was a wooden table leg, held firmly by the redheaded humanized Sunset Shimmer (from the Sun Never Sets™ series). Her stylish, yellow leather trench coat was covered in the demon’s blood, and she couldn't help but crack a smile. “What form of power… is this?” Humanized Twilight Sparkle, (also from the Sun Never Sets™ series) asked. She picked herself up into a kneel and looked to her sworn rival with no expression on her face. “It's a table leg, Twilight. Like, are you blind or something? Because, you can obviously see it,” Sunset responded, pulling it from the dying demon and throwing it into the center of the room. There was a circle at the room's center, by the way, like a big magical ring of stone- nevermind the details, point is, the portal Nightmare Moon was trying to open was built into the room's floor. You'll see when you read this section’s base content. “You weren't supposed to…” Twilight began, still recovering from the epic battle the readers all missed, where she got beaten by Nightmare Moon. “You weren't supposed to win!” “You always say that. Every main character does.” "So... I am the main character after all?" Twilight grinned a small grin, a vicious one. She had told herself she was the main character all this time, but now Sunset was finally admitting it too! "Sweet Celestia, don’t even think about it. I was patronizing you, honestly. I just beat Nightmare Moon with a freaking piece of wood, and you think you're the focus here? Pfft, puh-lease.” “Now hold on a minute! How did you even do that? You should've needed the Daybreaker, but you just had an ordinary piece of wood! Just… How?!” Twilight looked to Sunset's wooden sword … Ahem, I meant, the table leg sword, then to the Daybreaker, her actual, proper sword, which was still in the dying Nightmare Moon’s open hand. “I felt her power, she was supposed to be an unbeatable boss! At least, until-” “Pfft, yeah right, there's no such thing as an unbeatable boss fight.” Sunset retrieved her sword, put it across her back, and crossed her arms. “You're just mad ‘cause I killed her before you did. By the way, stay salty, sweetie. Every gamer loves the salt bae.”  “I…” Twilight stopped and considered this for a moment, something that she had been trying to avoid doing for the entire story up until the point. Had she, in her pursuit of power, allowed her view of the world to become so narrow? To see and judge others only through their respective power level? Was she… wrong? Of course not! She was the strongest half-demon demon slayer in the world and she would have no equal! Which is what she always said to herself when faced with existential doubt… But, who cares!? This is her she was talking about! And she was the main character here! Not Sunset! Not anyone else! “You and I still have a score to settle, Sunset!” Twilight raised her own weapon, the demon katana called Nighttearer, and looked into its unrealistically polished edge. Her own edge stared back. “If I can't slay Nightmare Moon, then I'll just have to slay the slayer of Nightmare Moon before anyone has the chance to slay her!” Sunset smirked. "Try slaying that five times fast." Twilight blinked. "...wait. What?" This was it, then. The final duel between the two students of Celestia. Right here where it all began, the Castle of the Two Sisters in the Everfree Forest. Don't worry about how they got there. “Feels like.. After all this time…” Sunset began, readying her greatsword to mirror Twilight's stance. “I should've known we'd be here tonight… I mean, we both were students of Celestia. Where else would we have a greater battle, huh? Or, if you’d like, we could go to one of the castle tower roofs instead. I mean, it is raining outside, which happens to be super dramatic. Plus, the privacy. I mean, who’d want to fight in a room where there’s a dying demon just lying all out in the open, am I right?” "I don't think Nightmare Moon will be bothering us..." Twilight's eyes narrowed as the edginess in her voice became tastable. Sunset rolled her eyes. "We fight here." “Well, alright then. I mean, sheesh, I was just saying. Also, no offense to Celestia, but this place really needs some redecorating…” "Maybe in another timeline..." There they stood, again waiting for the appropriate time to actually attack each other. The tension was rising, but it wasn't quite there yet. Just a few more moments now, and they'd be all over each other. Not sexually though. Sunset couldn't wait, and neither could Twilight, but neither of them voiced their excitement. They just stood. Staring. For minutes and minutes, they just continued to stand there, staring at each other in the eyes. Again, not sexually. Just with excitement. Twilight shifted slightly, ensuring her edge was matched with Sunset's. And also her sword. “Honestly…” Sunset continued, breaking the tension to reminisce again. "It hurts thinking, about the way we were just..." Twilight's eyes, still staring at her, broke her focus. The tension had been disrupted, and Twilight was not happy about it. She wanted to get to stabbing her sworn rival through the chest. Sunset trailed off. "...Were just you and me..."  This wasn't what friendship was supposed to be. No, it was supposed to be much kid-friendlier. It was supposed to be much sexier. SunLight was supposed to be the greatest ship ever. And, no, not the ship with Starlight and Sunburst. That ship sucks.   Before she could finish her thought, it was made apparent that through her stylish yellow coat she was bleeding profusely. So was Twilight, through her own equally as stylish purple coat. They both felt lightheaded. Both of them being half-demon only made this a minor problem, but it was a problem nonetheless. Both of their visions blurred slightly as they lost blood. It was time to do the epic, final charge, where they ran at each other, exchanged some sword swings, and let the victor be chosen. But that didn't happen. They started good, but Twilight felt her vision spin as she wound up a swing, and when she reached Sunset, her attack missed by several feet and she tripped over herself, tumbling to the ground behind her. Sunset did the same, her leg catching on Twilight's as she fell. They both landed on their faces simultaneously. Like, you know, the flop? Yeah, like that. But much harder. And cringier. With blood everywhere. Yep. And as it would occur they fumbled with their swords just so that they fell exactly in the center of the room, crossed, and over the demon portal on the floor. And they were both bleeding their guts out… Okay, that’s an overstatement. Probably a litre or two of blood was lost from the two, but who’s counting anyways? Twilight might've tried to, had she been more conscious. If you'd read up a little bit in the section, you'd see that this is the exact recipe for opening said portal. And then it did. It opened, and everyone present fell into it. But since the timeline had been altered, the swords, the table leg, Nightmare Moon's now empty body, and both Twilight and Sunset (from the Sun Never Sets™ series) wouldn't be sent to the demon realm. No, they’d be sent somewhere else entirely. But, I wonder where. ----- “AAaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” But it wasn't an ending, but a beginning, because we have like, 45 more stories to go through. Anyways, they both landing in front of a non-descript child, a windigo, and an unknown creature, but due to the fact that they were both bleeding profusely, they properly traumatized all three of the new characters. (Oh shit. Two bleeding gals in front of a child. Perfect.) (Driven through by “MK feat. Takanori + Maki - Jiraiya”) As Reality was torn asunder, the blandest of the bland Alicorns - with a brown coat and black eyes, tail and mane) looked upon the sphere representing the universe, as a voice brought him out of his revelry. “Why is that Dress tearing itself up?” Asked a unicorn mare, her features obscured by the white full body suit she was wearing, the only way to identify her was her melodic voice, yet one could know she was looking curiously at the alicorn, who said. “The universe’s shifting yet again, moar importantly, how’s it holding up?” “Well, I’m not drying up like a prune due to magical drain, if that’ll make you feel better darling.” To this the Alicorn moved his bland orbs of blank dorkness at the mare, grinning maniacally as he said yet again. “So, Shall we?” Before diving towards the universe whose reality had just finished repairing itself, getting ready to resume anew its eternal cycle of shifting and changing for the new sucker to gaze upon its beauty and despair, still, the mare was left behind looking dumbfounded as the stallion slid into the universe like Eric “knife” Cartman indide Butters “butter” Stotch, the mare started to galloping primly as she muttered. “Stallions” And, as she got inside, versions upon versions of Rocky Balboa appeared, asking “yes?” before exploding into rainbow (Dash brand) sludge. What awaited the travelers was a seemingly normal Ponyville, with the sole difference being that their inhabitants were easily described as “horse men” and “horse women”, still, as the previously white Unicorn shifted into the blondest of the Pink Ponies, with deep, almost mindless cerulean eyes and sporting red ribbons on her mane and tail. Then, without warning, the Alicorn moved to its target: the ugliest woman in the square, the pale grayish pink coat shining in the morning sun, covering every marr, imperfection and defect age inflicted upon her skin, yet unable to do anything for the unnaturally upwards snout or the evil glint on her opal eyes, likewise unable to fix the tacky aquamarine dress and gold jewelry, yet the Alicorn trod on and gently touched the woman. The fact that, at his current height the highest he could touch was coincidentally on her ass, which had a swishing tail in between was both ucky and unfortunate. “AAAHGHHH!!” Screamed the “woman” as she hopped away from the offending hoof, to which the Alicorn watched his companion, whom had managed to catch up to him, before looking back at the woman and saying. “Excuse me but… Have you heard about the Church of Celestia of the Last Lunas?” END MADNESS… 4 NOW. “I’ve heard of no such Church,” said an earth pony stallion dressed in a black tailcoat and dark circular shades. The Alicorn turned to the stallion and the stallion in turn gave him a friendly smile as he approached, “but if you’d like I can tell you of things I doubt even your Church knows about. I can share with you truths such as you’ve never imagined...” The Alicorn eyed the tattered leather tome in the stallion’s hoof and shuddered, suddenly remembering he had to be somewhere else. He went to snap himself out of existence, but something seemed to stop him just short. “Oh? You refuse?” chuckled the tan pony, his dark shades glinting with amusement, “very well, have it your way then. This knowledge isn’t for everyone, I suppose. But please, allow me to ask you one more thing before you go…” The Alicorn glanced back towards the woman, only to find that she’d long since vanished, along with the entirety of the Ponyville he’d come to visit. The only existence remaining was that of himself and the smiling stallion. Maybe that was all that had ever existed. Whatever the case, he had no choice but to turn back to the stallion and answer his question. Perhaps that’d get him out of whatever nightmare he knew was to come. The stallion’s smile widened and he leaned in close before asking in as casual a tone as the Alicorn had ever heard. “Would you perhaps know where I can find Miss Sparkle? Unfortunately I’ve lost my way and can’t seem to locate her. I feel things have somewhat gotten off track and I’ve something important to deliver to her. You see, if any of my tasks remain unfinished, the pipers might just cease their endless piping. Without that eternal melody, the Deep Dark will stir anew… and believe me, sir... that wouldn’t be good for anyone...” The Alicorn, unfortunately, had focused his attention elsewhere and had lost track of Twilight Sparkle, but the stallion, with his perfectly groomed raven black mane and tail didn’t begrudge the Alicorn in the slightest and merely nodded his understanding before turning away. “My journey continues then,” the stallion answered with a resigned sigh, “a pity, but sometimes that is the way of things. Farewell, sir, and I wish you luck recruiting believers for your Church.” And with that, the stallion disappeared once more back into the dark, and existence as the Alicorn previously knew it once more reasserted itself, though something had clearly changed. (Dafuq.) —- “So,” I boomed, slamming his hand down on the table, “Pinkie, what’re we gonna do?! You’re slowly starting to freak out the entire school, and I can’t always be stuffing you down my backpack to keep an eye on you!” Pinkie Pie popped out of my backpack, because of course.  “Well, I can just cram myself down to be even smaller!” she squealed, curling up into a fuzzy pink ball, “See? And now you can fit me in your backpack again with plenty of room to spare!” “What.” “But let’s forget about that for now! What’s going on outside?” I shrugged, and wandered over to the window, looking outside. “HOL UP WAT DIS?!” a screamy voice boomed from somewhere above the clouds, “W0W IT’S TECHIE’S BAD GARBAGE ATTEMPT AT WRITING CONTENT WHILE NEARLY BURNT OUT!” Oh. Oh no. —- “A.” Applejack glared at the tree. “🍉,” the tree continued, for it was a melon tree growing beautiful, plump melons even though melons do not, in fact, grow on trees in any way unless you have some species of melon plant growing in a pot or something on top of the tree or whatever. “I’MA FIRIN’ MAH LAZER!” Applejack screeched, incinerating the tree (and melons) with the classic meme laser. Several minutes of tree incinerating later, all that was left was a hole. Slowly, Applejack crawled up to the rim of the gaping hole in the ground, and looked inside. To her surprise, inside that hole was a… Doggo doing doggo things while Applebloom petted it and help do doggo things because she too, has become doggo, and that is how the entire world turning into a doggo overnight, because doggo. —- (warning: will ruin past sins and heathers for you) (also question does the story have to be published? or can it be a wip? or can i just dump my story ideas here?) Spell Nexus glared at the tattered coat. It was literally just that--a tattered coat, black and baggy. But to Nexus, it wasn’t just any tattered coat. It was a trench coat. And it had belonged to a human by the name of two simple letters: J.D. Not much was known about Subject J.D., except that in the human world (not the Equestria Girls™ world, mind you, but the one that had logical skin colors), he had done something Horrible, Absolutely Horrible. He interrupted creeper aw man on his discord server After the weird interaction with what the Alicorn could only describe as an "Eldritch Abomination" ended, he saw the universe anew, noticing the changes brought up by the weird one, yet everything seemed ok, even his companion, who managed to look concerned behind the featureless suit. "Are you okay darling? What in Equestria was that?" She asked, yet the Alicorn just smiled, trying his best to reassure her that all was ok. "Nothing important, just somepony dangerous concerned for the Creation, and going about preserving it in a terrible way, but let's go. I might come back later, but for now, my priority is to take you back home safe and sound, ok Rarity?" To which the recently named Rarity just said. "Oh darling the way you worry about moi is almost adorable, but let's go, I need to get this suit to Twilight so she can start on the camouflage spells, and I have to see if I can improve on the eyes." And so, Poncho Rodriguez, the Alicorn of Ponyville and the element of generosity left the universe —- Tyrone shivered, drawing his ragged blanket tighter around his body as he trembled with hunger. His dazed eyes wandered for a moment to the greasy, dust-coated window on the opposite side of the room, before returning to the television set he’d managed to salvage in the midst of the widespread war that had taken over the world. Another shiver ran through his body as the piercing yet familiar words rung out from the TV. “Yet another country today has dissolved into anarchy… police and military overwhelmed… lack of harmony…” He shut off the TV with a weak grumble, standing up with the blanket still wrapped around himself. It’d been years now since My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic had ended, and what did it bring about? War. It even caught Tyrone by surprise at first. It was as if the very concept of friendship itself had vanished with the show’s ending, and the result was… well, this. He vaguely heard the sound of a phone ringing through his continued daze. Slowly, he let the blanket slip from his shoulders as he shuffled to the old phone, picking it up. “Hello?” “Tyrone, it’s me, Twilight! You’re in an alternate universe right now, reliving a near-exact duplicate of your own life!” Tyrone muttered something under his breath and hung up, stumbling back to his former position in front of the TV. “Even in war, there’s always telemarketers…” he grumbled, turning the TV back on. All there was was the news channel, of course. Even without the government-run station being the only legally licensed station remaining in service, who would even want to spend their time creating content for others anyway? Tyrone yawned, turning the volume up as he settled down in his seat once again. He blinked once. Twice.  Rubbing his eyes, he squinted at the TV, leaning closer in as a familiar purple pony appeared on-screen, covering up the usual reporting. “Seriously, Tyrone!” Twilight exclaimed, banging on the fourth wall, “Are you just gonna mope around and wait for the end of the world?! Get up! The version of you that I got stuck with in the original cancelled story was so much more proactive than this! Up! Up!” Pinkie Pie joined her friend on-screen. “Yeah! Go and get your buddies together! Your story got cancelled the first time around, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t try again! In fact, Trevin’s calling right now!” This time, the ringing of Tyrone’s phone was much more distinct. Warily eyeing the ponies talking to him through the TV, he once again rose, walking to the handset and answering. “Hello?” “Oh, hey Tyrone. It’s Trevin. Um… so, did you have characters from My Little Pony talking to you in some way or another just now?” “...Yeah?” “Well, first of all, according to what they told me, this is the third incarnation of our ‘universe’. The first one was able to live on for a while before supposedly being ‘cancelled’, and the second one apparently was a throwaway joke in some dude’s fanfiction.” It was at this moment when Tyrone could swear he heard glass breaking in his mind. “Wh-what?” “Yeah, see for yourself!” Tyrone dropped the handset and rushed back to the TV. “Oh, hi again Tyrone!” Pinkie cheered, “What did your friend say?” “Oh, and also,” Twilight added, “I told the other Twilights about how I opened up a portal into your universe and just kinda entered. Never exactly told you that I escaped with my memories intact after your original story got cancelled.” “Okay, what the heck are you two talking about?!” Tyrone yelled at the TV, “We’re in the middle of World War 3, everything around me is death and destruction! Heck, why can’t I even swear when I want to?!” “Because the author of your original story now takes a much more child-friendly approach in order to appeal to the widest variety of people in his target demographics!” “Aw, frick.” “Yeaaaaah… sorry about that. Twilight told me that your original story was rated for teens due to violence and swearing. Yeesh.” Pinkie leaned closer to Twilight, whispering into her ear. “Now I know why the author jokingly referred to all the characters in here as the Misanthrope Squad!” “Hey, I heard that!” Twilight shrugged. “Can you believe that the same story that started this little blurb in a story about bad fanfiction is the same story that also inspired its author to write another story that featured a hidden message in its chapter names?” “What the heck are you talking about?” Tyrone deadpanned, “And besides, how are you two on-screen? You ended after seven seasons and several movies!” “Actually…” Pinkie began, cutting off Twilight before she could respond, “We’re on our ninth and final season right now, we’ve got one movie so far with another supposedly in the works, and people in real life have been freaking out because—” “Because friendship is seeping out of the world?” Tyrone cut in, raising a brow, “Because Equestria is crumbing and has brought humanity down with it by the show’s end?” Pinkie scrunched her muzzle. “No, silly, they’re freaking out because the character design for live-action Sonic the Hedgehog makes him look too human!” “What.” “Oh yeah, and the author of your original story almost forgot to toss in the rest of the characters that appeared in your story! Say hi to Kevin and Elise for me!” Multiple thumps caught his attention as he spun around, seeing the still-bandaged Elise pushing herself off the floor, and Kevin being… there. “You know what?” Pinkie began, “This place is starting to get a little boring. How about a change in scenery?” Tyrone’s eyes widened as everything around him — save for the two others in the room — began to dissolve away into countless specks of flickering light. (Dafuq happened.) —- “Ah, you’re awake. You definitely took quite a bit more time than some of the others did,” the voice seemed to come from nowhere, and yet emanated solely from a speaker embedded just below a camera in the opposite wall.