Despite everything going well for her, Scootaloo can’t feel comfortable in her own skin. She just can’t figure out why.
Everything is going well for Scootaloo. She has the best friends anypony could ask for, an awesome older sister, and a wonderful and sweet boyfriend. Some days, it feels like she has everything.
So then what’s wrong with her that she hates being herself so much?
⠀ As usual, Scootaloo found herself in a rush. She seemed to rush everywhere she went, no matter how many times she tried to remember to give herself more time. She was good at rushing. When it came down to it, Scootaloo was good at many things. Things like wasting time, for example, and not at all things like being on time.
It wasn’t like she even had any prep work to blame if she was late, which it was very much looking like she would be. Scootaloo was always doing that. She got too caught up in what she was doing and lost sight of what was more important.
Today it was making modifications on her scooter, so with luck, she could make up for some lost time as she tore through town faster than ever before. If she wasn’t lucky, well… She just hoped she would be lucky.
She grabbed a towel and dried off, having just left the shower. Late as she was, she wasn’t going to show up with grease on her fur as well. She took a look at herself in the mirror and saw that, understandably, she looked like she was just getting out of the shower.
She weighed her options. She should take the time to at least brush her mane and tail, but… she was already late. It wasn’t like she even cared how she looked. And Spike had seen her dishevelled plenty of times before, he should be used to it by now.
But then again… she was supposed to try and look her best for him. With a groan, she grabbed a brush and ran it through her mane as quickly as possible, then did the same with her tail. She tore out more hair than she would’ve liked, but if she went bald, that would be a problem for future Scootaloo.
Besides, right now, present Scootaloo was running late. She tossed on her helmet and ran out the door, grabbing her scooter and flapping her wings to propel herself as fast as she could.
She sped into town, weaving her way around ponies going about their day. It earned her a few disapproving glares, and some ponies yelled at her to slow down. She didn’t pay attention to either. She was positive this was the fastest her scooter had ever gone, and she felt incredible as the wind raced past her.
Straight to Rarity’s boutique, no distractions. She just might actually make it on time for once!
“Hey, Squirt!”
Scootaloo flared out her wings, using them to catch air and slow herself down. She looked to her right and saw Rainbow was flying along beside her. “Hey, Dash.”
“Got a second? I kinda wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Uhh…” Normally, Scootaloo would always make time for Rainbow. But she did have somewhere to be… “Is it important?”
“Kinda, it’s – look out!”
Distracted by the talk with Rainbow, Scootaloo nearly ran headfirst into two stallions carrying a large box between them. Too late to stop, she turned the scooter on its side but kept her forward momentum. The result was that she skidded along the ground on her side, scooter first, and went right under the box.
On the other side, she tried to right her scooter again, but she lost control. She let go of her scooter and found herself rolling along the ground. She came to a stop and groaned as she reached a hoof to her head.
Rainbow flew over to her. “You okay!?”
“Hey, kid! Watch where you’re going!” one of the stallions shouted.
“Hey, back off!” Rainbow shot back.
Scootaloo just laughed and pushed herself up. There was some pain, but nothing she couldn’t deal with. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Rainbow helped Scootaloo brush herself off. “You were really booking there. New mods on the scooter?”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo announced excitedly. “I think this is the best I’ve ever had it!”
“Sweet! Let’s go grab some ice cream or something and you can tell me all about it.”
That did sound pretty awesome. Rainbow didn’t really know the mechanics of it like Scootaloo did, but she took an interest in it for her little sister and was at least able to follow along with Scootaloo’s explanations. It was fun having someone to explain it to, especially when that someone was Rainbow Dash.
But… “Maybe another time? I’m on my way to meet with Spike.”
Rainbow winced. “Well, I did kinda have something else I wanted to talk about too, but…” She looked at Scootaloo then shook her head. “You know what? Never mind. Go have fun with Spike, we can always talk some other time.”
“Alright, I’ll come and find you later.” Scootaloo mounted her scooter again and used a wing to wave. “Later!”
At least it wasn’t a long delay, but still, there was no way Scootaloo was making it to the boutique on time. With that in mind, she didn’t go quite as fast for the rest of the trip. It was for the best anyway, since even if she’d avoided serious injury, she was still sore from the first wipeout.
The rest of the trip to the Carousel Boutique went by without incident, and Scootaloo parked her scooter against the building under one of its awnings. She examined herself one last time outside the door.
‘So much for looking nice…’ The wipeout hadn’t done any serious damage, but she had a few new scrapes and could do with brushing her mane again. She took the chance to at least fix a few feathers that were out of place, but that was all she could do before heading inside.
A bell on the door chimed, informing anyone inside that she had arrived. “Welcome to the Carousel Boutique!” Rarity’s voice called out. “Oh, Scootaloo! So nice to see you, darling.”
“Hey, Scoots!” Spike said. He was carrying a bundle of fabric for Rarity, which caused Scootaloo to smirk. He had gotten over his childhood crush years ago, but he still couldn’t resist lending her a claw whenever he was in the shop.
“Hi, Spike. Hey, Rarity.” Scootaloo walked over to the others. “Sorry I’m late, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”
“Late?” Rarity asked. She turned to Spike. “So it was Scootaloo we were waiting on? Spikey Wikey wouldn’t tell me anything.”
Spike blushed at the nickname. “Yeah, I was waiting on Scootaloo.” He frowned as he took a better look at her. “Are you okay? You look a little banged up.”
“I wiped out on the way over,” Scootaloo admitted. “I’m okay though.”
“You’re not hurt are you?” Spike set the fabric on a nearby desk and knelt down to examine her scrapes himself.
She rolled her eyes. “I said I’m fine, Spike. Relax.”
“I just worry about you.”
“I know, but it’s fine!”
“Ahem.” They both jumped and found Rarity watching them with a knowing smile. “Do my eyes and ears deceive me, or is there something going on here?”
Scootaloo and Spike looked at one another, both of them wearing sheepish expressions. Scootaloo stepped closer to Spike, who put an arm around her.
Rarity squealed happily. “Oh, I can’t believe it! You two make such a lovely couple! And –” Rarity gasped “– that’s why we were waiting to get started on your outfit, isn’t it Spike? You two want to match!”
Spike scratched his neck with his free hand. “Well, yeah. The Gala will be our first formal event as a couple, so we thought maybe it would be kinda, I don’t know, cool to match.”
Scootaloo snickered. “Actually we thought it would be super lame, but we decided to do it anyway.”
Rarity looked at Scootaloo sharply. “I assure you there is nothing lame about wanting to look your best, especially if it’s with your special somepony. Er, or special somedragon as the case may be.”
“And that’s why we came to you!” Spike said before Scootaloo had the chance to insist that it was lame. To be fair, she at least thought it was lame in a fun way. “You’re the best at this sort of thing, we know you’ll be able to do something incredible for our outfits!”
Rarity giggled. “Yes, well… it’s all true! Worry not, you’re in capable hooves. But perhaps first we ought to do something about your current appearance, Scootaloo. You are looking a bit dishevelled.”
Scootaloo sighed. She had seen this coming. “Fine.”
Rarity had Scootaloo take a seat, then she started brushing her mane. She took a lot more care with it than Scootaloo herself did. “Now then,” she said as she worked, apparently able to take care of Scootaloo’s mane without sparing a thought on it, “do tell, how long have you two been an item?”
“A month,” Scootaloo said, her head bobbing a bit as the hairbrush did its job. “I think it was a long time coming, though.”
“Yeah, I just… was just trying to work up the nerve to ask her.”
Scootaloo laughed. “You say that like I didn’t ask you out in the end.”
“Well, I didn’t say I did work up the nerve…”
“Aww, you should’ve asked for my help,” Rarity said to Spike. “I dare say I know a thing or two about winning the fair lady’s heart.”
Scootaloo was glad Spike had kept her out of it, although she tactfully didn’t say that. She was sure that Rarity would have come up with some frou-frou plan that would’ve just been super awkward for both of them.
“Yeah I know, you helped Twilight figure out how to ask out Fluttershy,” Spike said with the distinctive tone of someone who had heard that story dozens of times. Scootaloo wondered if it was Twilight or Rarity that liked to talk about her part in getting the couple together.
“Well, I did,” Rarity said matter of factly. “So, a whole month then. I must say I’m surprised I’m only now hearing about this.”
“Guess that means Sweetie Belle kept it secret after all,” Scootaloo said with a smirk. Really, she had no doubts. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were her best friends, they were practically like her sisters. She knew they’d keep her secrets.
“We didn’t want to rush into telling everyone,” Spike explained. “Figured we’d wait a little bit to make sure things worked out before causing a big scene.”
Rarity gasped. “Does Twilight know?”
Spike nodded. “Twilight was the one we were mainly keeping it a secret from, since we didn’t want her freaking out over that with the wedding plans going on. But I told her, Fluttershy, and Sunset before they left for their honeymoon.”
Rarity nodded. “Well, I must say you two are approaching this very maturely.” She put away the hairbrush and pulled out a brush of a different sort. Scootaloo winced when she saw it. “And if either of you –”
“Uh, Rarity?” Scootaloo said while Rarity powdered the brush. “I think we can skip the makeup.”
Rarity misunderstood her. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all! Besides, don’t you want to look your best for your coltfriend?”
Scootaloo didn’t think Spike cared about that sort of thing. Or… did he? His first big crush had been on Rarity of all ponies, so maybe he did? She sighed and resigned herself to her fate. “I guess.”
Rarity clapped her hooves together and started applying the powder to Scootaloo’s face. Every part of the process set her on edge, but she gritted her teeth and endured it.
“Let’s get to business, shall we? Do either of you have any ideas for what you’d like to wear?”
Scootaloo couldn’t quite turn her head with Rarity doing her makeup, but she did glance to Spike, who just shrugged. “Well, I thought I’d wear a tux.”
“Ever the fashionable one,” Rarity said with a slight roll of her eyes. “There’s a lot more to a suit than that, Spikey.”
“Well, yeah, but that’s where you’re the expert!”
Rarity sighed, though not unhappily. She stopped the assault on Scootaloo’s face for a moment to address her. “And what about you, Scootaloo? Any ideas on what sort of dress you want?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Scootaloo frowned. “I don’t even really like clothes.”
“Oh, darling, that’s simply because you haven’t given them a real chance!” Rarity insisted. “Everypony likes to look their best.”
Scootaloo shrugged. “I guess…”
“So, it’s all down to me then. No matter.”
Foolishly, Scootaloo had hoped this change of topic would be enough to get Rarity to forget about the makeup, but she had no such luck. Rarity seemed to be quite adept at multitasking, applying the makeup while also sketching ideas. She tried several times to get their input, but neither of them were much help.
Perhaps Scootaloo would have had a few things to say about her dress if she had been allowed to think about it. She really did hate dressing up, but she had at least a few opinions on clothes and stuff. But all she could think of was how miserable she felt as Rarity did her makeup.
Mercifully, Rarity was at least quick about it. She put away the makeup brush she’d been using and spun Scootaloo around to look in a mirror. “There! What do you think?”
Scootaloo tried to come up with a polite answer, but she couldn’t. “Do you want my honest opinion?”
Spike cleared his throat. “Well, uhm… I think you look amazing.”
Scootaloo rubbed a hoof awkwardly through her mane. “Uh, thanks.”
She hated it. No, that wasn’t strong enough. She loathed everything about makeup, from sitting through it being put on her to how she looked once it was. But… Spike liked it, and she did like making him happy. Besides, she should try to get used to it. She was sixteen, practically a grown mare, and she had a coltfriend. This type of thing was expected of her now.
So she tried not to focus on it, even though she could feel it on her. Not that she had a lot to distract herself with. Just going along with whatever Rarity thought was best for her dress. Whether it was because she was too distracted from the makeup or just because she didn’t like fussing over clothes, Scootaloo didn’t bother to weigh in.
“I think this is going to be truly spectacular!” Rarity announced.
Scootaloo looked over the sketch, trying to see what Rarity saw in it. It was nice, she supposed. Scootaloo may not care about clothes, but even she could tell Rarity’s work was high quality. Still, she had to stop herself from wincing when she looked at the frills and imagined having to wear it.
“That looks amazing!” Spike said, looking over Scootaloo’s shoulder. She looked up at him to see him blushing. “You’re gonna look beautiful in it.”
Scootaloo blushed too, but she couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. It reminded her why it was worth getting all girly in the first place.
Meanwhile, Rarity let out a squeal of delight. “Oh, you two are simply precious! And don’t you worry, Spike, we’ll be sure to make you look every bit the dashing drake we both know you are.”
Scootaloo let out a laugh. “Yeah, let’s do Spike’s tux! That should be fun.”
Maybe it was just dressing herself that she didn’t like, because it wound up being a lot more interesting to give input on Spike’s outfit than her own. According to Rarity, a lot more went into designing male fashion than most people realized. While dresses had more immediate differences between them, tuxedos also had a lot of subtle distinctions to best accentuate their wearer.
She explained some of it as she worked on it. It still was absolutely not something Scootaloo was very interested in, but it was far better than working on her dress had been.
“I do say, you seem excited to see your coltfriend all dressed up,” Rarity said with a wink. “Do I detect a soft spot underneath that tomboyish exterior?”
Scootaloo awkwardly scratched at her neck. She liked that tomboyish exterior; she was a radical mare, just like Rainbow Dash. But, well, if there was someone worth having a soft spot for… “Yeah, I guess.”
Rarity giggled. “Oh, don’t look so worried, your secret is quite safe with me, darling.”
Scootaloo suppressed an eye roll, but couldn’t quite keep all of the sarcasm out of her voice. “Thanks, I’ll sleep easy tonight.”
“Now now, sarcasm isn’t becoming of a young lady.”
“Oh, well in that case, I’ll definitely stop it.”
Rarity quirked an eye at her, but just shook her head and walked away. “In any event, I’ll be sure to keep both of you posted on the developments for your ensembles.”
“Thanks a bunch, Rarity,” Spike said.
“Yeah, thanks.” Scootaloo may not be looking forward to the dress, but she did at least appreciate that Rarity was giving it her all. “We should probably get out of your hair though.”
“Yes, I do suppose I ought to get to work.” Rarity struck an exhausted pose, which Scootaloo was sure she oversold. “Lots of orders with the Gala coming up, after all.”
“Aww, you can do it, Rarity! You’re amazing at this stuff.”
They both said their goodbyes to Rarity, then they were on their way. As the door closed behind them, Scootaloo couldn’t resist shooting Spike a smirk. “So are you sure you don’t still have a thing for her?”
A look of panic spread across Spike’s face. “What? Of course not! You know I only have eyes for you.”
Scootaloo snickered. “Really?” She dropped her pitch to imitate Spike’s voice as much as possible. “You’re so amazing, Rarity! You can do anything!”
Spike broke into a laugh. “What? Come on, I don’t even sound like that!”
“Yeah, and I bet you also didn’t have goo goo eyes whenever you were looking at Rarity, huh?”
“Of course not! Come on, you don’t have to be worried about me.”
Scootaloo laughed. “Worried? As if. First of all, I totally wouldn’t be jealous either way. Your sister has two bucking wives now, I stopped believing in that one and only thing years ago.”
“Yeah, I guess you have a point there. Still, I’m not –”
“Plus you couldn’t get with her anyway, so what would I have to be worried about?”
Spike matched her smirk. “Says you! The only reason I never got together with Rarity is because I stopped wanting to.”
“Oh really? The only reason? The fact that she’s like fifteen years older than you had nothing to do with it.”
“Nah, not at all. I could totally sweep her off her hooves if I wanted to.”
“Uh-huh.” Scootaloo nudged Spike with her wing and they both laughed as they walked through town.
That was a great thing about being with Spike. They were comfortable joking around about stuff like that. Scootaloo could be put in a dress, but that didn’t make her a dainty young lady. She needed someone who could take a few jokes, as well as give as good as he got.
And Spike was perfect. It was honestly a little surprising that he had decided to try something with Scootaloo after holding a thing for Rarity for so long, but they were happy together, and that’s all Scootaloo really cared about.
They kept joking around as they made their way through town towards the castle, Spike carrying Scootaloo’s scooter for her. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Sunset were off on their honeymoon, which left it a little empty for how big it was, but which made it perfect for hanging out.
Even if Spike’s parents were home. As they walked through the door, they were greeted by Twilight Velvet, who popped out of a nearby room. “Welcome back. How’d everything go?”
“Good,” Spike answered. “Just wait until you see Scootaloo’s dress! It looks amazing.”
Scootaloo would prefer if the focus was on something other than her getting dressed up, so she used the fact that Twilight Velvet was Spike’s mom against him. “No way, Spike’s tux is what’s really gonna look great. Rarity has something big planned for your son this time.”
“I can’t wait to see both of them,” Velvet said as she gave Spike a one-forelegged hug. He blushed as he returned it, which made Scootaloo smirk. “Are you kids hungry?”
“I am,” Spike said. He turned to Scootaloo. “How about you?”
“A little,” Scootaloo admitted. She was really more than a little hungry, but she still wasn’t too used to ponies doting on her about things like food. Her own parents certainly hadn’t.
“I was just thinking about making some lunch. I’ll whip something up then come get you two.”
“That’d be great!” Spike said.
“Yeah, thanks Mrs. Velvet,” Scootaloo added.
Velvet chuckled. “You know you don’t have to call me ‘Mrs’, Scootaloo dear. You’re part of the family now.”
Scootaloo scratched at her neck. “Er, right.”
At least Velvet let the subject drop. “You two run along now, I’ll head up to Spike’s room to get you when the food’s ready.”
It was a relief to leave Velvet and head up to Spike’s room, and that made Scootaloo feel a little guilty. She really did love Spike’s family, they were nothing but welcoming to her. But maybe they were a little too welcoming. Scootaloo felt uneasy at the idea of being part of the family, especially since she had such a rough history with her own.
As usual, Spike only caught on to the surface of her insecurity. “Sunset took forever to stop calling her ‘Mrs’ too.”
Scootaloo put on a grin to hide the deeper insecurities. “Glad I’m not the only one.”
Spike held open his door. “After you, my lady.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “You’re such a dork.”
“Maybe, but you’re the one who decided to date me.”
“Yeah, what was I thinking?”
Spike slicked back his spines. “You just know a good thing when you see it.”
“That’s one way to put it.” Scootaloo jumped onto Spike’s bed and grabbed a comic book off his bedside table. “Oh sweet, the new Flashfire is out?”
“Yeah, it’s great! You can borrow it if you want.”
“Sweet, thanks!”
Spike sat down on his bed and glanced at Scootaloo awkwardly. She rolled her eyes and stretched out her foreleg. “Come here, you doof.”
Spike grinned and lay down beside her, wrapping his arms around her. The two of them had been together for a month, but Spike was still getting used to being close. It was his first relationship, after all. Scootaloo had only dated a few boys before, none of which had gone this well, but Spike was completely new to this whole relationship thing.
It was probably because he was a dragon. He insisted everypony accepted him as much as they would accept a pony, and that did hold true for making friends; Spike was well known and well liked in Ponyville.
But he had since let on that he was surprised when Scootaloo asked him out, figuring she would rather be with a pony. There was no telling what would have happened if Spike had tried putting himself out there for other mares his own age, because he had never seriously pursued any of his crushes before.
Well, that was all in the past. Now he had a girlfriend who didn’t care about things like that. Scootaloo just snuggled in closer, enjoying being held in his arms.
“Sure you don’t want me to walk you home?”
Scootaloo grinned as she walked out of the castle’s front door. “Spike, it’s Ponyville. Nothing’s gonna happen. Besides, I told Rainbow Dash I’d come find her.”
“Alright, I’ll see you later then.”
“Maybe we can do something tomorrow after school?”
“Yeah, sounds good!” Spike held open his arms, so Scootaloo stood on her hindlegs and hugged him with her forelegs. “See you then.”
“Yeah, see you.” Scootaloo gave Spike a quick kiss. By the time she was pulling away, Spike was wearing a goofy lovestruck grin.
And when it came down to it, Scootaloo felt the same way. She hid it better, stepping back and waving like it was no big deal, but inside she felt butterflies. Spike was so much nicer than the boys she had dated in the past, and a certain L word had been bouncing around her head for a little while now.
Nah, it was too soon for that. But still, things were going so well. Scootaloo made her way through Ponyville cheerfully and leisurely. She could tear through the town on her scooter, but… wait, why wasn’t she tearing through the town?
Switching to a cocky grin, Scootaloo flared out her wings and made sure the path ahead of her was clear. Judging it safe enough, she started flapping, propelling herself forward and losing herself in a burst of speed.
As always, she flew past all the ponies that were just casually going about on their way. It really did feel like flying, or at least, Scootaloo thought it probably did. That was one thing she never quite mastered, and at this point, it was pretty safe to say she probably never would.
But why get hung up on that when she was the best mechanic around? Sure, she couldn’t fly, but with the modifications she’d made to her scooter, she came pretty close!
So she didn’t worry about that, she just focused on flying through town, heading to Rainbow’s house. She wasn’t sure Rainbow would be there, but she’d said she’d find her, and it seemed like the most likely place to check first.
Along the way, she pushed herself as hard as she could. Without any distractions this time, she made it through town in record time. Even she couldn’t believe how quickly she reached Rainbow’s house.
She skidded to a stop when she was underneath the floating house, kicking up a cloud of dust. She looked up at it and was pretty sure she saw a light on in one of the rooms.
In the past, getting Rainbow’s attention when she was in her house would be impossible for somepony who couldn’t fly. Now it was only impossible for most ponies. Attached to the front of Scootaloo’s scooter was a box with a button on it – one of Twilight and Sunset’s inventions.
Scootaloo pressed the button. “Scoots to Dash. Do you read me?”
There was a moment of silence, then Rainbow’s voice came through the box. “Dash to Scoots, I read you. Be down in a second.”
“Gotcha, I’ll be here.”
The device was called a walkie talkie, and it had a fairly short range – Scootaloo had to be underneath Rainbow’s house for it to reach the one Rainbow kept in her living room. But even so, it sure beat shouting up at the cloud building and hoping to be heard.
A few moments later, the door opened and Rainbow flew down. She landed beside Scootaloo, and they bumped hooves. Rainbow took a better look at Scootaloo’s scooter. “So you’ve been working on it again?”
“Yeah, I’m going so fast I can’t even see all the disapproving looks from the townsponies anymore!”
Rainbow snickered. “Nice! One of these days you’ll even be a match for me on that thing.”
Scootaloo chuckled. “Yeah, right. That’ll never happen.”
“I don’t know, you’ve been getting faster on it. I bet you can go faster than most pegasi now.”
That was probably true, but hearing it from Rainbow made Scootaloo blush. “Aww thanks, Dash.”
“So were you and Spike getting in some practice with it today?”
“Not exactly.” Scootaloo took a deep breath. This was as good a time as any. “We were actually going to Rarity’s to work on our outfits for the Gala.”
“Oh?” Rainbow wore a smug grin. “So the two of you went to get your outfits designed together, huh?”
Nothing about Rainbow’s look seemed disapproving, and it was clear she already knew what was going on. So why was saying it so hard?
“Yeah,” Scootaloo forced out. “We went together.”
“Alright, cool cool.” Rainbow nodded and looked at her hoof nonchalantly. “So, uh… any reason?”
Scootaloo couldn’t take it anymore. “You already know, why do I gotta say it!?”
Rainbow broke into a grin. “So you two are dating?”
“Yeah, okay?” Scootaloo wouldn’t look up at Rainbow. “Yeah, we are.”
Rainbow grabbed hold of Scootaloo with one hoof and ruffled her mane with another. “That’s awesome, Squirt! Seriously, I’m really happy for you two.”
Scootaloo laughed and pushed Rainbow’s hoof away. “You’re not gonna grill him like you did with my last boyfriend, are you?”
Rainbow smirked. “Nah, I know Spike’s cool. Still, if he breaks your heart…”
“What, you don’t think I could take care of myself? I’m pretty tough too, you know.”
“Yeah yeah, I know. But hey, part of my job is looking after my little sister.” For some reason, Rainbow glanced away at ‘sister’. “I’ll, you know, always take care of you no matter what, Squirt.”
Unsure of what to make of Rainbow’s reaction, or even if she had just imagined it or not, Scootaloo didn’t address it. “Yeah, well, I’m not a little filly anymore, Dash. And seriously, Spike’s been great.”
“Yeah, alright. So who knows now?”
“Just Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, his family, and now you. Oh, and I guess Rarity knows too.”
“Taking it slow then? Probably a good idea.”
“That’s what we thought too.”
“And you know, if you need any relationship advice…”
“I’ll ask my aunts,” Scootaloo said with a grin. She loved Rainbow, but the older mare had never had a lot of success in her love life.
Rainbow snickered. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair. But if you ever wanna talk about Spike or, you know, anything else, I’m always around.”
As much as Scootaloo appreciated the sentiment, it sounded weird hearing it from Rainbow. “Geez, I get a boyfriend and suddenly you get all sappy? What gives?”
Rainbow rubbed at her neck. “Huh? Nothing, I’m just, you know, trying to be a good big sister.”
Scootaloo shook her head. Rainbow had been acting weird ever since Twilight and Fluttershy got married to Sunset. Maybe it had something to do with that? “Come on, you’re the best. But seriously, everything’s cool.”
“Yeah, alright.”
They needed a new subject, and one was at hoof. “Oh yeah, what’d you want to talk about?”
“Oh, that.” Rainbow took a good look at Scootaloo and smiled. “You know what? It wasn’t important. You wanna go grab some dinner?”
That sounded nice, but she already had other plans. “Can’t, I told my aunts I’d be back in time for dinner.” Back when Scootaloo was living with her parents, she could pretty much do anything she wanted. But ever since her aunts adopted her, she had to remember family dinner and stuff like that. It was a nice change. “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you wanna come over, though.”
Rainbow grinned. “Holiday’s cooking? How can I say no to that?”
Scootaloo beamed. So what if half her day had been spent designing a dress she’d later have to wear? She had a loving family, a sweet boyfriend, the world’s best friends, and the coolest sister ever. Everything in her life was perfect.
Everything was perfect. Scootaloo reminded herself of that a lot. Everything was perfect, so there was no reason for this feeling like something was missing. She had it all.
“Scoot?” Rainbow gave her a confused look. She had taken a few steps forward without Scootaloo noticing, while Scootaloo herself had lingered behind.
She shook her head and grinned. “Sorry, just zoned out for a second. I’m coming.”
Scootaloo put the thoughts out of her mind. So what if she was getting less and less sure that she was really happy? She had a lot going for her, it was just a phase she was going through. Just some stupid teenage thing.
She placed a grin on her face and followed after Rainbow. “Race you there!”
Rainbow grinned. “Alright, but I won’t go easy on you.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Scootaloo said smugly. With her eyes set dead ahead, she flapped her wings and tore down the quiet Ponyville street.
⠀ ‘Okay, here goes. It’s just breakfast, nothing to worry about.’
Amber took one more deep breath, then she pushed the door to the dining room open and plastered a smile on her face. As expected, Princess Celestia was already sitting at the table. She was eating breakfast while perusing a newspaper.
It was still a little strange to see Princess Celestia doing something as normal as eating breakfast while reading a newspaper. Amber had seen it countless times even before she was officially living at the castle, and yet, she could never quite get used to the sight.
“Good morning, Princess,” Amber said as she started making herself a plate. She started with a slice of toast and strawberry jam.
“Greetings, Miss Glow. Did you sleep well?”
Dropping the formalities of ‘Princess’ and ‘Miss Glow’ would probably go a long way towards making her feel more at ease around the Solar Princess, but it didn’t seem to be happening any time soon.
“I haven’t slept, actually.” Amber filled a bowl with fruit and decided that would be good enough for breakfast. She took it along with her toast and sat down across from the princess. “I was waiting for Luna to get off.”
“Ah, of course. Without your train job, there isn’t much reason for you to be on a daytime schedule, I suppose.”
Was that a subtle jab at Amber for being unemployed? She couldn’t tell. With Celestia, she never could. “Yeah, being nocturnal takes some getting used to, but I’m getting the hang of it.”
“Quite.” Celestia sipped her tea and went back to her newspaper.
It was always like this between them. There was never anything even remotely hostile in how Celestia acted towards Amber, nothing unpleasant. But there was a sort of… unease. If only from Amber’s side.
It was expected when they first met. She was Princess Celestia, she had been the sole ruler of Equestria for the first sixteen years of Amber’s life. She was always above others, nearly godlike between her eternal life and the reverence of her little ponies.
But then, she was always Princess Celestia. The Solar Princess, the one who stood above all others, unapproachable and magnificent and – just a bit, perhaps – judgemental. Or at least, Amber thought the last part was true.
Celestia sipped her tea, almost looking less regal by her morning routine. Moments like this made Amber want to try to push for something more familiar with them. “So… anything interesting in the paper today?”
Celesita smiled and set it aside. “Thankfully, it doesn’t seem so. Editorials about myself or my family are too common these days. And if it’s not that, it’s speculation about the changelings.”
Amber couldn’t match Celestia’s smile. Celestia smiled a perfect smile that managed to say absolutely nothing aside from that she was smiling. Amber’s smile was an awkward one that could only look common next to Celestia’s. “No news is good news, they say.”
Celestia inclined her head. “At least in my case, that is very true.”
Of course, Luna was Celestia’s equal. And considering Luna was Amber’s marefriend, it was silly to keep holding Celestia on a pedestal. But then, Luna was willing to step off her pedestal. Oh sure, she liked playing with it. She toyed with her position and – especially – with her high physical stature. But she invited Amber into her games, and she knew when to put an end to them and put herself on level with every other pony.
But Celestia? No, she was always Princess Celestia. No exceptions. She was polite, to be sure, but she was eternally detached. It was how she’d been for years, and she showed no signs of changing.
Still, Amber had to make the effort. It wasn’t like she could expect Celestia to. She took a bite of her toast, then kept trying to make conversation. “I guess everyone’s got more on their minds with the Grand Galloping Gala coming up.”
“Perhaps you’re right,” Celestia said. “And I suppose it’ll be an important event for you as well.”
Amber cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“Only that it’s your first formal event as Luna’s marefriend.” Celestia smiled what she probably expected was a warm smile, but which only looked to Amber like somepony who did not know how to be a regular pony. “I know it’s not your first gala, but you’ll be a proper high class lady this time.”
Amber did not like the sound of that. Nothing about it felt like her. High class? Lady? She wasn’t even sure if she could call herself a proper anything. But she could see that Celestia was at least trying to talk to her, to hold a genuine conversation. She did so want to get along with her marefirend’s sister, so she ignored it.
“So, uh, got any advice?”
Celestia chuckled. “Oh, there isn’t much to it. Just watch out for the gossip among the Canterlot elites. They can be a bit… hung up on tradition.”
There was no need to explain what she meant. Look at the lady with Princess Luna. Why is her mane cropped so short? Why is she wearing a tux? Is she even wearing makeup? She might as well be a colt.
Amber preoccupied herself with peeling an orange. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to watch out for that. Me and tradition haven’t always gotten along…”
“No, I didn’t suspect as much.” Did Celestia sound disappointed, or did Amber imagine that? She didn’t look disappointed, at least. “I’m afraid you’ll find Canterlot is rather fond of its traditions. More so than Fillydelphia, I’m led to believe.”
Amber forced a chuckle. “Yeah, well, tell that to my family.”
Celestia’s smile fell into a small frown at that. “You do not get along with them?”
“Er, not exactly. Luna never mentioned anything about that?”
“Nothing. I’m sorry if it’s a sensitive subject.”
“It’s fine,” Amber said, well practiced in telling ponies about her family by now. “It isn’t all bad, though. My little brother is cool about everything.”
“That is good to hear. Family is very important.”
“That it is, my dear sister,” Luna said, causing both of them to turn their heads in her direction. She had entered the room silently from somewhere unseen. “But what is family in these modern times? Surely it’s more than siblings and parents.”
Celestia smiled as if Luna’s sudden appearance wasn’t out of place in the slightest. Then again, to someone who knew Luna as well as Celestia did, it wouldn’t be. “Of course. One need only look at our own family to see that.”
“We are quite the mismatched bunch, aren’t we?” Luna asked as she walked over to Amber. She kissed her atop the head and smiled at the smaller mare. “Good morning, dear. Have you slept at all?”
“Nope, made it all night,” Amber answered with a grin. She was still adjusting to Luna’s sleep schedule, and most nights she couldn’t manage without a nap.
“You must be tired. I shall make it a quick breakfast so that we may get you into bed.”
Amber shrugged. “Don’t hurry on my account. Your sister has a way of shaking the sleep out of me whenever she raises that big burning ball of hers.”
“The morning sun is rather invigorating, isn’t it?” Celestia asked with a slight smile. Amber was pretty sure it was the first time the two of them had agreed on anything.
“Perhaps a bit too much,” Luna said as she prepared her own breakfast. “Some of us have to sleep through it.”
“And you always manage to do just that,” Celestia said with a smirk. “Sometimes a bit too much, I daresay.”
Seeing Luna and Celestia joking around reminded Amber that Celestia could act like a normal pony, just not with her. But even so, it was a relief to have Luna around to make the conversation go more smoothly. With her around, Amber didn’t feel so awkward and Celestia seemed to take down some of her walls.
It made the rest of breakfast pass much more quickly. And with Luna bridging the gap, Amber was even able to talk to Celestia a little more naturally. They still didn’t feel like more than casual acquaintances, but at least they felt like that much.
Besides, mornings were mostly for Celestia and Luna anyway. The two of them usually only saw each other at breakfast and dinner, their respective duties and different sleep schedules keeping them apart the rest of the time. So if Amber still had trouble fitting into the picture, that was okay; it was never meant for her anyway.
Luna filled them in on how her night had gone, and Celestia talked about her plans for the day. There was some sisterly banter throughout, then it was time for Celestia to take her leave and get to work on the busy day ahead of her. Luna and Amber weren’t much longer, finishing up their meals and making for Luna’s room.
“I do believe Celestia is finally warming up to you,” Luna said as they walked through her solar.
Amber smirked. “Really? Because she could’ve fooled me.”
“My sister is not one to show these kinds of things. But trust me, I have much experience decoding how she really feels.”
Amber wished she could be so sure. Luna wasn’t above seeing what she wanted to see at times, and this felt like one of them. Still, all she said was, “I hope you’re right. Would be nice.”
They climbed the stairs from her solar to her bedroom, which had heavy curtains blocking out most of the light. All but one were closed, letting in just enough light to see by.
“Shall we head to bed then?” Luna asked.
“I’m not –” Right on cue, Amber’s sentence was cut off by a yawn. “Okay, I’m a little tired.”
Luna chuckled. “As am I. Come, let us make for an early bed, then we can spend some time together before my duties start in the evening.”
Amber nodded and followed Luna into the bed. Luna lifted one of her giant wings, which Amber used in place of a blanket as she snuggled close to her marefriend.
“Do you think Celestia is actually okay with me?” Amber asked as she got comfortable. “I mean, yeah, she’s getting more used to me. But don’t you think she’d, I don’t know, be happier if you were dating a ‘proper lady’?”
Luna craned her neck to give Amber a kiss. “She is happy that I am happy. My sister is not so hung up on high society traditions that she would impose them on me.”
“I don’t know, she’s still touchy about a lot of non-traditional things. Just look at how she is with Twilight, Sunset, and Fluttershy. And they’ve been together for three years now!”
Luna frowned. It was undeniable that Celestia wasn’t the biggest fan of polyamory. “She is coming around to that as well, I believe. But you are not multiple ponies, my love. Celestia has long been a supporter of same-sex relationships, and she is well aware that many lesbians are less feminine.”
Less feminine. That was one way to put it. “I guess, it’s just… well…”
“Is there something else on your mind?”
Of course there was. There was something that hadn’t left her mind in the past couple weeks, ever since she heard that the human world Scootaloo was transgender.
But how could she say that? She wasn’t even sure exactly what she felt, let alone how to vocalize it in a way that didn’t make her sound like an idiot. “I… I don’t know.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything.”
Amber nodded. “I know, I just…” She forced a smile. What was the sense of worrying Luna like this? It’s not like she even understood how she felt herself. “I think I just need to get some sleep for now.”
Luna looked unsure. “Is it my sister? Or something else about living in the castle?”
“I guess… there’s just a lot changing right now.”
Luna nodded. “Of course, I should have known as much. You’ll get settled in soon, I’m sure. And in the meantime, I could always arrange a trip for you to visit your brother if you’d like.”
“That’d be nice.” Amber nuzzled in closer to Luna. “But first we should get some sleep.”
“Of course.” Luna kissed Amber once more. “I… I love you.”
Amber smiled. Luna was more than a little standoffish about expressing her love, but Amber found it cute. Luna was so certain in everything she did, it felt nice to see her vulnerable. One of those little things that reminded Amber that underneath the crown was not only a pony, but a pony no one other than Amber saw in the way she did.
“I love you too,” Amber said contently. At least no matter what else, she had Luna by her side again.
Everything felt like it was spinning. Amber wasn’t sure if it was herself or the room, but something had to be spinning.
There were so many ponies. Everywhere she looked, ponies were laughing and having a good time. Amber was not having a good time.
She was wandering through them, unsure of where she was going. There was so much spinning. There was so much laughing. It was all happening at once.
“Where’s Luna?” Amber asked a random pony. He seemed to find her more amusing up close, and laughed harder.
Were all the ponies laughing at her?
She stumbled through them, unable to walk normally. It must’ve been the shoes she was wearing; they had some kind of heel on them that made it hard to walk. It went with the dress she was wearing.
“Ah, Amber,” someone was saying. She turned to see Princess Celestia. “You look like a proper lady tonight. Well done.”
“No,” Amber mumbled, grabbing at the dress she was wearing. She couldn’t seem to get it off. “No no no no no no no!”
If only everything would stop spinning. The laughter still filled the room, but it grew malicious. Everyone was laughing at her. Everyone except Princess Celestia, who just smiled approvingly.
Amber tried to run, but she fell due to the heels. She had to brush her mane from her eyes, it had grown so long. Everything was wrong. Amber was wrong.
The next thing she knew, Amber’s eyes were shooting open. She wasn’t spinning, she was being shaken. She blinked a few times in the dim blue light that she soon realized was coming from Luna’s horn.
A dream. It had only been a dream.
“Amber, are you alright?” Luna asked softly.
She leaned against her marefriend. “Yeah, I’m fine. Your dream powers tell you I was having a nightmare?”
“Not quite. You were tossing in your sleep.”
Amber smiled a little. “And you didn’t come running into my dream to show off? I’m impressed by your restraint.”
“I’d rather you felt you could talk to me about it directly rather than risk violating your trust. Besides, by the time I realized you were in a nightmare, I was already awake. It would have taken longer to dream dive.”
Amber nodded, then she sighed and let her eyes droop closed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s quite alright. Would you like to talk about it?”
Amber was slow to reply. She could blame it on being sleepy if pressed, but really, she just wasn’t sure how to talk about it. “It wasn’t really a nightmare exactly. Just like… a stress dream.”
Luna nuzzled her. “I’d still like to hear about it if you want to get it off your chest.”
Amber frowned and kept her eyes off Luna. “I… don’t want to be a lady.”
The light shifted, and Amber realized Luna had turned her head to the side. “I’m not sure I follow. Did you dream you were a lady?”
“Yeah. At a fancy party, like the Gala or something.”
“I see. Well, it may please you to know that I do not believe you could ever be something as proper as a lady even if you wanted to be, so there.”
Amber grinned, but Luna didn’t understand. How could she? Amber didn’t even understand. “I think…” Her words caught in her throat. What would Luna say if Amber told her what had been on her mind? The two of them had just gotten back together, how could she drop something like this?
“Amber love, talk to me. I want to help you.”
“I don’t want to be a mare,” Amber blurted out before she could think better of it.
“I see,” Luna said simply, as if this wasn’t some huge world-shattering revelation. “Would you then prefer to be a stallion?”
“No.” Amber had thought of that, of course. She knew what it meant to be transgender, and she had asked herself if that was how she felt. “I know it doesn’t really make sense, but I don’t feel like a stallion either.”
“Perhaps we should continue this with a bit more light?” Without waiting for an answer, Luna’s horn glowed brighter. The light left her horn and became a sphere which floated above them, illuminating the room softly. “So then tell me, what would you like to be?”
Amber shook her head and laughed. “I don’t know. There’s not really anything else, you know? That’s why I haven’t said anything before. It’s just… It’s so stupid.”
“No, it’s not,” Luna said softly but affirmatively. “It’s anything but. How you feel about yourself is important, Amber.”
“But… it makes no sense.”
“I have a friend,” Luna said simply. She often did this, seemed to change the subject only to later prove a point. “Perhaps they are more of an acquaintance, I can’t say we’re close, though that is not the point.”
“Okay. Is it somepony I’ve met?”
“No, I’d say not, though they live here in Canterlot. I think it likely that the two of you should be introduced, however.”
Amber frowned a little. “You keep saying ‘they’.”
Luna smiled serenely. “That I do. You see, Amber, although they were born with a colt’s body, they too did not feel like it fit them. Nor do they feel they should be a mare.”
Amber looked up at Luna, wanting to understand everything she had to say on the subject. “That’s an option?”
“It certainly is.”
“Wow…”
Luna placed her hoof on Amber’s. “I’m afraid I’m not an expert, my dearest. I would like to learn more about it, knowing it may be important to you. Perhaps we could learn together?”
“Well, it sounds like you have a headstart on me.” Amber found herself laughing a little. “I should have known you’d already know a thing or two about this whole… thing. Are we sure you’re not the Princess of Weird Walks of Life?”
“Hmm, we’ll need a catchier title, but I don’t see why I couldn’t be.”
Amber took a deep breath and looked up at Luna. “Thank you, Luna. And… you’re not bothered by this whole thing?”
Luna smiled at her. “Your gender is important to me because you are important to me, and it is important to you. Otherwise, it’s not something I’m terribly concerned with. Mare, stallion, something else… no matter what, I’m with you.”
“You’re the best.”
“I am quite charming, yes.” Luna inclined her head slightly, her smile shifting a little as her tone lost some of its playfulness. “I think it best if we let my acquaintance tell us more about this. But of what little I do know, as I’ve said they prefer to use gender neutral terms and pronouns. Do you think you would prefer the same?”
Amber wasn’t sure what to think about that. “I… don’t know.”
“That’s okay. You need not know now, it is just something that would be good for you to think about.”
“Doesn’t it get confusing with your friend? Like, do ponies think you’re talking about multiple other ponies when you mention them?”
Luna chuckled. “Less often than you’d expect, but even when it does cause some minor confusion, their comfort is more important. We could try it, if you’d like. I could say, for example, Amber is the perfect partner, and I love them.”
Amber smiled. She… They? It was hard to imagine everyone using gender neutral pronouns for… them. “I guess I’d like to give it a try. But maybe, like, just between us and your friend. I can’t imagine coming out to your sister about this…”
Luna nodded. “But of course. I’m glad we’ve taken this initial step. Anything that leads to you better understanding yourself and being more comfortable is a good thing.”
“Yeah, hopefully.” Something was still bothering Amber, though. They wouldn’t look at Luna as they asked it. “So… what do you think your sister would have to say about this?”
Luna hesitated a moment, which spoke just as much as her words did. “I confess I have never talked to my sister on the subject, so I do not know how she’d feel. I do know that I’ll make her understand if she doesn’t wish to on her own. Your happiness is important to me.”
Amber was afraid of that. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not even sure how I feel about this whole thing yet, and I don’t want to come in between you two or anything.”
“You won’t, trust me. Only one thing has ever come between my sister and me, and I assure you this will be less of a shock than Nightmare Moon was.”
“Hmm, I dunno…” Amber tapped on their chin. “Nightmare Amber has sort of a ring to it, doesn’t it?”
“Be that as it may, I think I prefer you unpossessed, personally.”
Amber grinned and rolled over so they could nudge Luna. “Aww, where’s your sense of adventure?”
Luna rolled Amber onto their back and kissed them. “Dating you has been adventure enough, I assure you.”
“That’s just because you’re old. Real adventure is for the young!”
“Because only the young are foalish enough to seek it out. I’ve been on more than my share of adventures, and I should not like to go on another.”
Without shifting position from where they lay on their back, Amber smiled up at Luna. “Tell me about one.”
“Is this to be a bedtime story?”
Amber blushed a little. “I don’t know, maybe.”
Luna nodded. “Very well then. I do not believe I ever told you about the time my sister and I defeated Sombra back in the days when he ruled the Crystal Empire.”
Amber listened to Luna’s story, eventually closing their eyes as they did. It was a thrilling story, so much so that Amber wasn’t sure which parts were real and which were embellished to make things more interesting.
It didn’t really matter. Real or fake, it was just a comfort to listen to Luna speak. So much was changing in their world, but at least they had Luna by their side once again, as they hoped they always would.
⠀ Some ponies liked to complain the world was out to get them. Even at her worst, Scootaloo never felt like that, but sometimes she did feel like it was out to annoy her. She dashed through town on her way to the Carousel Boutique for the fourth time in the past week, and she very much wished she wasn’t.
But Sweetie Belle had passed along a message that Rarity wanted to see her again. The first time it had happened, Scootaloo, in her naïvety, had hoped the dress was finished. She knew better now. No doubt Rarity wanted her to model her dress again to make sure it was coming along properly. She wasn’t really sure if all this was necessary, but Rarity seemed to think it was.
The only redeeming thing of these fitting sessions was the excuse to hang out with Spike. And sure, she could always hang out with Spike without needing an excuse, but seeing his adoring smiles as she wore the frilly clothing made it a little more bearable.
Just a little, though. Even then, even with the chance to revel in the way he looked at her, she was in a hurry for this to be over with.
A shadow passed over her head, too fast to be a cloud. In fact, it was almost too fast to be a pony, which meant it could only be one pony in particular.
Scootaloo sighed tiredly. This was another thing she couldn’t wait to be over. For a second, she considered going faster. She might’ve done it too, except she knew it would be no use. Nopony was as fast as Rainbow Dash, not even her. At least not yet, anyway.
No, there was only one option. She could only slow down and bear with it. With any luck, this would be another awkward silence moment or a failed attempt at discussion before Rainbow gave her the ‘never mind’ and let her be on her way. She could deal with that, just as long as it wasn’t another awkward string of questions…
“Hey, Scootaloo!” Rainbow said as she swooped down. “Got a minute?”
“I’m kinda in a hurry.” Scootaloo felt like she had lived this exact moment a few too many times already, and she did not care to live it again if she could help it.
“Oh, uh, okay…” Rainbow looked to the side awkwardly.
Normally Scootaloo would cave in and try to talk it out at this point, unwilling to leave Rainbow looking so disheartened. But she was so tired of how Rainbow had been acting lately. And worse, she thought she had an idea of where the change had come from.
“Yeah, Spike’s waiting for me, so I’ll catch you later.” Scootaloo flapped her wings to propel her scooter forward.
“Oh, meeting up with Spike today?” Rainbow asked, flying alongside Scootaloo.
A clean getaway had been too much to hope for, it seemed. “Yeah, we’re going over the outfits for the Gala again.”
“You’ve been doing that a lot. Guess Rarity really wants them to be perfect.”
Scootaloo glanced at Rainbow, but she did nothing to slow down. At least this way, Rainbow would only have until they reached the Boutique to make things awkward. “Yeah, you know Rarity.”
“Yeah, I do.” Rainbow scratched at her neck, seeming to have no problem doing so while flying. “So, uh, what do you think about the dress? Like how it’s coming out?”
Scootaloo had no idea why Rainbow would ask her that – she knew very well that her younger sister hated getting dressed up. “I don’t know. I just wish it was over with, you know? Not my favorite thing.”
“Eh, it took me a while to get used to Rarity’s dress obsession, but it can be pretty cool.”
Scootaloo scoffed. “I guess.”
“Or, you know, for me anyway. But, er, I guess maybe you just aren’t into dresses and stuff.”
“Not really.”
Rainbow was quiet for a moment, and Scootaloo let herself believe that maybe she would leave well enough alone. She did not.
“So what’s Spike think about you, you know, not liking dresses?”
Scootaloo narrowed her eyes as she swerved around a flower cart, letting that distract her from answering for a moment. She debated not answering at all, but she eventually said, “He likes the dress.”
“You shouldn’t just do things because Spike or anyone else likes them. You have to be true to yourself, you know?”
Scootaloo sighed. “The Gala has a dress code. I don’t have a choice if I wanna go.”
“Sure you do! You could always wear, like, a suit or something. Would… you prefer something like that?”
“Straight mares don’t wear suits,” Scootaloo answered irritably. This conversation was weird, just like every conversation she’d had with Rainbow recently. “Even you wear dresses to stuff like this.”
“Yeah, but I kinda like dresses, you know?”
Scootaloo came to an abrupt stop. Rainbow kept going for a moment, having to double back to get to where Scootaloo had stopped. “What’s this all about? You’ve been acting weird all week.”
Rainbow looked around for something to save her, then let her eyes fall to the ground. “I just… I want to make sure you’re really happy, Scoots.”
Scootaloo gritted her teeth. She loved Rainbow, but this was going too far. “Is this because of Spike?”
“What? Why would this be because of Spike?”
“You’ve been acting weird ever since we started dating. Admit it, you don’t like the idea of me dating a dragon!”
“Whoa, hold on.” Rainbow frowned and pointed a hoof accusatively. “I’ve known Spike for years, he’s not just some dragon to me! He’s a great guy, and I’m happy you two are dating!”
“Well you don’t act like it! All you’ve done since we started dating is ask me all these weird questions about if I’m really happy with things!”
“That’s not because of Spike! It’s because…” Rainbow shook her head. “Well, it’s not because of Spike. I can’t believe you’d even think that about me!”
“Well then what is it!? Because I’m sick of this!”
“It’s…” Rainbow looked around. They were in the middle of town, and their raised voices were attracting looks from the townsponies. “We shouldn’t talk about it here.”
“No, this has gone on for long enough. I need to know what’s going on with you, Dash! Because the way you’ve been acting is… it’s just not cool!”
Rainbow seemed to be weighing her options. She kept her voice down when she answered. “It’s about the other Scootaloo…”
Scootaloo shook her head. “Other Scootaloo? You’re not making any sense, Dash!”
“The one from where Sunset’s from.”
Oh, right, the mirror world. Sunset had been in Equestria for so long that Scootaloo had forgotten that she had come from another world. Well, at least it made sense that Rainbow didn’t want to talk about it in public now.
But Scootaloo wasn’t letting her get off that easily. “Fine. Tell me at the Boutique.”
“Wait, that might not –”
But Scootaloo was already gone. And whether it was what Rainbow wanted or not, she was following behind.
Mercifully, they travelled the rest of the way to the Carousel Boutique in silence. It made the trip go by much faster, and Scootaloo felt good about her chances of getting a straight answer from Rainbow this time. Since Spike and Rarity both knew about the other world, she wouldn’t have any excuse to not talk about it there.
And she was in luck as they walked in, since it seemed that no one else was at the shop. “Hey, Scoots,” Spike said as she walked in. He was wearing what was done of his tuxedo jacket while Rarity made adjustments.
“Hello, Scootaloo,” Rarity said as she glanced away from her work. “And Rainbow too? About time you came to me about your own dress.”
“You know, maybe I should just come back about that later…” Rainbow said. “You’re busy now, and –”
“No way,” Scootaloo shot back. “No one’s here besides us, so spill it. What’s going on with you lately?”
Rainbow looked at Spike. “Trust me, Squirt, you really don’t want me to do this now…”
Just as Scootaloo had expected, she didn’t want to say it around him because it was about him. “Tell me!”
“Uh, tell you what?” Spike asked. “What’s going on?”
“Er, is everything alright?” Rarity asked.
“It’s fine,” Rainbow said.
“No, it’s not.” If Rainbow wasn’t going to say anything, Scootaloo was going to force her hoof. “Something’s been going on with Rainbow ever since I told her I’m dating Spike, and she won’t tell me what it is!”
“Since we started dating?” Spike asked, sounding hurt.
Panic flashed across Rainbow’s face. “It’s not about that! I told you already, I’m happy for you two!”
“But you won’t tell me what it is about!” Scootaloo said, her voice growing louder.
“Come now, Rainbow,” Rarity said, walking over towards the two of them. “We’re all friends here. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s nothing worth being so dodgy about.”
Rainbow sighed and leaned in to whisper something in Rarity’s ear. She shot a glance at Spike. “Er, perhaps it’d be best for us to give these two some privacy for a moment, Spike.”
“No!” Scootaloo stamped her hoof. “Anything you have to say to me you can say to Spike too!”
“You really don’t want that,” Rainbow said.
“Tell me!”
Rainbow looked between Scootaloo and Spike, and finally blurted out, “The other Scootaloo is transgender!”
Scootaloo blinked. The other Scootaloo was… “What?”
Rainbow looked away and scratched awkwardly at her neck. “Yeah, he… he’s a guy, Scoots. I found out when Sunset’s friends were here for the wedding. And the thing is, well… None of us know what that means for you.”
“What do you mean ‘what it means for me’?” Scootaloo asked, if only to give her brain enough time to catch up with what they were talking about.
“Hold on,” Spike said, stepping beside Scootaloo. “There are tons of differences between the worlds. Like how Sunset’s only in this one, or that Fluttershy and Twilight aren’t together over there.”
Scootaloo looked up towards Spike, but she didn’t say anything.
Spike grinned. “And if you think it’s weird that the other you is a guy, the other me is a dog!” He laughed as if this was no big deal. “So, you know, that really doesn’t have to mean anything about you at all.”
“He’s right,” Rainbow said. “That’s why I’ve been trying to figure out how you feel before I told you. Because he’s him and you’re you, no matter what.”
He’s him. He’s a guy. There was another Scootaloo out there, and he was a transstallion. He’d been born as a mare, just like Scootaloo, but he figured out that wasn’t right for him.
“So…” Rainbow stepped forward and looked into Scootaloo’s eyes. “What do you think? Just a crazy difference, or…?”
“I… I…” Scootaloo looked over at Spike, who was looking at her expectantly. She looked back at Rainbow and Rarity, who were also waiting for an answer.
But she didn’t have one. She should. It would be so easy to laugh it off, say it was nothing, and just go on with things the way they were.
But she couldn’t.
All she could do was run away. She ran out the door, ignoring the call of “Scootaloo!” that came from Spike.
She grabbed her scooter and flapped her wings, taking off into the town. She didn’t look back to see if Rainbow was following her, and she knew neither of the others had a chance of catching up to her.
But after a few moments, there was still no sign of Rainbow. She must have stayed back at the Boutique. That suited Scootaloo just fine. If Rainbow had followed her, she would’ve wanted an answer. And Scootaloo just didn’t have one.
She didn’t stop until she reached her house. Leaving her scooter outside, she ran in and made straight for her room. She shut the door behind her and dove headfirst into her bed.
The other Scootaloo was trans. No one knew what that meant about her. Was she trans too?
Of course, she knew that no one else could answer that question. It wasn’t something she knew a lot about, but she knew there was no checklist that compared her traits and told her definitively yes or no. Which meant it was up to her to figure out on her own.
She rose from her bed and walked over to a mirror. She examined herself looking back. She had never seen anything feminine in her face, and that was always how she liked it. But then… was there anything masculine there either? She reached a hoof up to touch herself, and she decided that no, there wasn’t really.
Thoughts of Rainbow’s awkward prodding ran through her head. She thought of the upcoming Gala and the question of if she wanted to wear a tux instead of a dress. She had always hated dresses, had always thought of them as too girly for her. Would she be more comfortable in a tuxedo after all?
Even then, she knew that was a superficial question. Dress or tux, that really wasn’t the answer to the question at hoof. But it was all she could think to focus on in light of the revelation.
There was a knock on her door. “Scootaloo?” her Aunt Holiday called. “Is everything okay?”
Scootaloo looked at her door and grimaced. She couldn’t tell Aunt Holiday and Auntie Lofty about this. “Yeah, everything’s fine!”
The door creaked open and Holiday’s head popped through it. “You came rushing in and ran straight for your room without even saying hi. What’s going on?”
She wouldn’t understand. This wasn’t something she’d ever gone through, it wasn’t something anypony she knew had ever gone through. Even Scootaloo wasn’t sure how she felt, so how could anyone else know?
“Scootaloo?” Holiday prompted. “If something’s wrong, you know you can talk to us.”
“Give her some space, Holiday,” Lofty said. Scootaloo couldn’t see her from the doorway, but she didn’t sound too far away.
Scootaloo sighed. “You two can come in.”
Both Holiday and Lofty stepped into her room. Despite being less prone to worrying than her wife, Lofty looked a little concerned as well. “Something happen at the fitting today?”
“No, I… I didn’t stay for it.”
“Why not?” Lofty asked. “Weren’t you looking forward to hanging out with Spike?”
“Yeah, but he…” What would Spike think about all this? Would he still want to be with Scootaloo if she decided she didn’t feel like a girl at all? “I don’t know if…”
“Oh geez,” Lofty said as Scootaloo began crying.
Holiday was quick to hug her. “Did something happen with Spike, dear?”
“No… Not yet, anyway…” Scootaloo took a deep breath. Maybe… maybe it would be better to try and explain things to them after all. She could never dream of trying to explain this to her parents, but Lofty and Holiday weren’t her parents – they were her aunts, the coolest ponies she knew, and they had always been there for her.
But explaining it wouldn’t be easy… they didn’t even know about the mirror world, so how could Scootaloo explain that there was another Scootaloo?
“He’s him and you’re you, no matter what.”
Maybe it didn’t really matter. This wasn’t about the other Scootaloo, this was about herself. Sure, that had been what raised the question, but it wasn’t the question at hoof, not really.
“Do either of you know anything about, uhm… trans ponies?”
Holiday and Lofty looked at each other, then Holiday answered with a smile. “Well, a little. We’ve met a few at pride events.”
“Why do you ask?” Lofty added.
“Because…” Scootaloo looked between them, then settled on the ground. “I think… maybe…” She squeezed her eyes shut tight and tried to keep from crying. “Maybe I’m not really supposed to be a mare at all.”
She felt a hoof on her shoulder, but didn’t open her eyes to see whose it was. “That’s okay,” Holiday said. “You know we love you no matter what.”
“Yeah, we’re here for you, Scoot,” Lofty said. “And it’s okay to not know. We’ll help you figure it out as much as we can.”
Scootaloo opened her eyes and immediately started blinking away tears. “R-Really?”
Scootaloo threw her forelegs around her Auntie Lofty, who hugged her back. Holiday joined in as well, and nopony said anything for a while. Nopony had to. There were still questions that needed answers, but that wasn’t something they had to worry about right away. For now, it was enough to know that it was okay to ask the questions.
When Scootaloo pulled away, however, she had a question of a different sort. “What… what do I do about Spike?”
Holiday looked uncertain, so Lofty answered. “I think the two of you will need to have a talk. Then you can figure things out from there.”
“But what if… what if he doesn’t want to date me anymore?”
“Then he’ll be missing out on being with a great pony,” Holiday said. “But he’s been your friend for years before he was ever your coltfriend. I’m sure he’ll only want you to be happy.”
“I hope so…”
“Well, don’t take our word for it,” Lofty said. “Ask him yourself!”
Scootaloo winced, which Holiday took note of. “When you’re ready, of course.”
Scootaloo sighed. “No, Auntie Lofty is right… I need to talk to him. I kinda left him waiting at the Boutique…”
“Ah, I get it now.” Holiday gave a comforting smile. “I was wondering what brought all this on, but it must’ve been all that dress business, huh?”
Scootaloo scratched her neck. “There was a little more to it than that, but how about I explain later? Right now I think I should go talk to Spike.”
“Okay, dear.” Holiday smiled. “Just remember that no matter what happens, he’s still going to be your friend.”
“But let me know if I need to kick his flank!” Lofty added with a grin.
Scootaloo smiled. Her aunts always knew just what to say. “I will, Auntie Lofty. I’ll be back for dinner.”
With another hug from each of them, Scootaloo was on her way. She passed through the house, retrieved her scooter from outside, and tore down the streets of Ponyville.
Her mind was more focused now. She still had tons to figure out, but for now the answers were less important than the questions. She needed to figure things out, and as long as she had her family, her friends, and Celestia willing her boyfriend by her side, she would be able to take on anything.
The only question she needed an answer to right now was whether Spike was still at the Boutique or if he had gone back to the castle. She had no way of knowing, so she decided to try the castle. Better to waste a trip to the castle than to make a pointless and painfully awkward trip to the Boutique if he wasn’t there.
Thinking of the Boutique, Scootaloo realized she’d also need to talk to Rainbow soon, and maybe Rarity too. She wasn’t as worried about that, at least. She knew she could count on Rainbow to stand beside her no matter what.
No, the only pony she needed to talk to sooner rather than later wasn’t a pony at all. She zipped through town and made it to the castle before she even had a chance to worry about it, and she kept her head clear as she knocked on the door.
That held out right up until the door opened and Spike was on the other side. Actually seeing him face to face filled her with dread at all the ways this conversation could go.
If he had any similar feelings, he did a poor job at showing it. Rather than say anything at all, he walked over to her, knelt down, and hugged her. She smiled as she hugged him back, glad to see he didn’t seem too weirded out.
“Uh… hey, Spike.”
“Hey, Scoots. I was worried when you ran off like that.”
He let go and backed off enough so that they could look at each other. Scootaloo glanced down, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “Yeah, sorry about that. It was just… a lot to take in.”
“No no, I understand. I’m just happy to see you is all.”
Why was Spike always so nice? That should have made this easier, but all it did was remind her of how much she had to lose. “Yeah… so, uh, we should probably talk about that, huh?”
Spike looked as uncertain Scootaloo felt. “Uh, sure. We can talk.”
He stood up and led them inside. Scootaloo followed him up the stairs, where he stopped at the first room they came to. Spike’s bedroom was becoming a familiar sight to Scootaloo ever since they started dating. She just hoped she’d be welcome in it after their talk.
“So…” Spike prompted, but he didn’t seem to know how to continue.
“Yeah…” Scootaloo said, not knowing what to say herself.
Spike sat down on his bed, Scootaloo sitting beside him. “You know, just because the other Scootaloo is trans doesn’t mean you are.”
“I know,” Scootaloo said. “This isn’t about… him. This is about me and how I feel.”
“So… how do you feel?” Spike was trying to keep his tone casual, but Scootaloo thought she heard a little worry seep in.
“I… I don’t know.” Scootaloo bowed her head. “I think… I think I have a lot to think about. And… and I don’t know what answer I’ll get.”
While she stared down at her hooves, a scaled arm found its way around her shoulders. “Yeah, that’s kinda what I thought when you ran off like that.”
Scootaloo suddenly turned to Spike. “I’m sorry, I never meant to make things weird. I never really thought I’d…”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Spike said with a smile.
“Is it though?” Scootaloo asked, desperately hoping for a yes.
“I mean…” Spike ran his free claw along his spines. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”
Scootaloo looked away. “Well, because if I’m a… a guy… What does that mean for us? Do you even like guys?”
Spike smiled at her. “I… Well, no. I mean, I never thought I did. But, you know, I like you. And I don’t want this to be the end. So… no matter what you decide, I want to try and make things work. And if you decide you’re a guy, then I guess that’ll just make you my… coltfriend.”
It was obvious that no matter what Spike was willing to try, he wasn’t entirely thrilled about the idea of maybe having a coltfriend. But Scootaloo couldn’t fault him for that, not when he only signed up for a marefriend. And at least he was willing to give it a shot and see where it went. That was really the best thing she could hope for.
“Thank you. And… I’m sorry. Again.”
“It’s okay.” Spike did an impressive job of keeping his voice neutral as he said, “So then do you want me to start using guy terms for you?”
Scootaloo didn’t really have an answer for that, not yet. Was that what she wanted? What he wanted? Scootaloo wasn’t even sure how to think, let alone what other people should say. “No. At least… not right now. I… I still need more time to think.”
“Yeah. That makes sense.”
Scootaloo sighed and looked up at Spike’s ceiling. Only for a moment though, then Spike pulled her over and held her close.
“We’ll get through this one way or another.”
Scootaloo found it in herself to smile. “Yeah. You’re the best, Spike.”
Spike chuckled. “You know, figuring out you might be a guy probably doesn’t make most ponies sappier.”
“Hey!” Scootaloo grabbed his pillow and hit him with it. Spike laughed, then they locked eyes, then both of them were laughing.
Whatever. Maybe Scootaloo was a stallion, maybe not. That didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was that everyone who really mattered was going to still be there for her.
And hitting Spike in the face with his pillow as much as she could before he managed to retaliate. That was important too.
⠀ There was a time for questions, and there was a time for answers. It was great knowing that no matter what she decided on, Scootaloo was supported, but being allowed to ask the question was only a comfort for so long.
In Scootaloo’s case, that amounted to about a day.
She’d stayed up all night trying to figure it out on her own, but that hadn’t gotten her anywhere. But that wasn’t a problem; if she couldn’t figure it out on her own, she knew just who to turn to!
“What’s this all about?” Sweetie Belle asked once the Cutie Mark Crusaders were all assembled in their clubhouse. She let out a yawn. “And why’d you have to get us so early?”
“Aww, it ain’t that early,” Apple Bloom said with a grin. “You just sleep in late.”
“I don’t sleep in that late!” Sweetie Belle defended. “Scootaloo’s usually the one who sleeps all morning.”
Apple Bloom folded her forelegs and wore a smug grin. “And even Scoots is up this time, so it must not be that late.”
“Sorry, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said. “I know it’s kind of early, but this is important to me.”
They both stopped bickering to turn to Scootaloo instead. “What’s going on?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Scootaloo pawed at the floor. “It’s… kinda weird.”
Apple Bloom walked over to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Scootaloo, we’ve known you practically our whole lives. We know how weird ya are.”
“Yeah, whatever it is you know we’ve got your back!” Sweetie Belle said.
It was kind of strange, but Scootaloo didn’t doubt that for a second. She was a little worried that they might not understand, but she wasn’t even slightly concerned they wouldn’t support her. She thought ponies in her position were supposed to be scared, but all she felt was kind of awkward.
She took a deep breath. “Well, the thing is… You know how there’s a whole other world with doubles of us and everything?”
“You mean the place where Sunset’s from, right?” Apple Bloom asked.
Scootaloo nodded. “Well, Rainbow Dash found something out about the other Scootaloo there.”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom looked at each other. “What is it?” Sweetie asked.
“The thing is… he’s not a mare at all. He’s a transstallion.”
“Huh,” Apple Bloom said. “Neat.”
“Neat?” Scootaloo asked. She wasn’t sure how her friends would respond, but ‘neat’ had never crossed her mind.
Apple Bloom shrugged. “Well, yeah. It’s kind of cool to know there’s a few differences in the world like that. So she’s a transstallion and you’re not, it’s just interesting.”
“But the thing is –”
“He’s a transstallion,” Sweetie Belle corrected.
“I always forget which is which,” Apple Bloom said. “So that means he was born a girl and wants to be a boy, right?”
“He doesn’t just want to be a boy, he is a boy,” Scootaloo said. She hadn’t meant to get derailed, but this was important for her friends to understand. “He was born with a girl’s body, but that doesn’t make him a girl.”
“Sure, I guess.” Apple Bloom shrugged again.
‘I guess’ wasn’t really the answer to that Scootaloo was hoping for, but she knew this was new to Apple Bloom. She was open-minded, but her family never talked about things like this until Twilight and Fluttershy started dating. Even then they only knew about gay ponies, so she couldn’t blame her for not knowing better.
“Scootaloo…” Sweetie Belle said. She looked like she was taking this much more seriously than Apple Bloom was. “You didn’t get us together to tell us about something different with the other Scootaloo, did you?”
It seemed that Sweetie got it, but Apple Bloom didn’t. “Oh yeah, is something else going on?”
Scootaloo looked down. “I… I don’t know yet.”
“Oh. Well, that’s okay.” Sweetie Belle was quick to go to Scootaloo’s side. “We’ll help you figure it out!”
“Figure what out?” Apple Bloom asked.
Scootaloo looked up at her. “I think… maybe I’m the same as the other Scootaloo.”
“What?” Apple Bloom screwed her face up in confusion. “But you’re not a transstallion, you’re a mare.”
“Apple Bloom,” Sweetie Belle said softly. “That’s up to Scootaloo to decide.”
“Wait…” Apple Bloom blinked. “You don’t really feel like a stallion, do you?”
“Er… maybe?” Scootaloo shook her head. “I hadn’t really thought much of it until Rainbow told me about the other Scootaloo, but since then it hasn’t left my head.”
“Oh…” Apple Bloom looked down for a moment, then shook her head and smiled. “Well… Sweetie Belle’s right! We don’t care if you’re a boy or a girl!”
Scootaloo smiled at her friends. “Thank you both.”
“So we just gotta figure out if you like being a boy or a girl better,” Sweetie Belle said. “What makes you think you might be a stallion anyway?”
“I don’t know. I guess… I’ve never really been happy doing, you know, girly things.”
Apple Bloom nodded. “Ya always did hate getting dressed up when we’ve gone to the Gala and stuff.”
“Do…” Scootaloo shook her head and pursed her lips. “Do either of you… ever feel like you don’t fit in as a mare? Or, like… wonder if you’d be better as a stallion?”
“I like getting all girly,” Sweetie Belle said. No surprise there, she may not be as passionate about it as her sister, but Sweetie had taken an interest in fashion like her.
Apple Bloom would probably be a better indication, but she just shrugged. “I’m, you know, not exactly the most dainty of mares. But I’ve never really felt like I wasn’t a mare.”
Scootaloo nodded slowly. She had always kind of thought about being a stallion for as long as she could remember. Not exactly longing, but like a constant ‘what if’ thought that had bounced around her head for years, a little voice saying it’d maybe be kind of cool. She had just always assumed that was normal, something everyone thought about.
There was no way to just look at the evidence and answer something like this with logic, Scootaloo knew that. But if there were, then all signs would point to ‘stallion’.
“Hey, no need to look like that,” Sweetie Belle said. She hugged Scootaloo and spoke with her trademark upbeat attitude. “You always have us. We’re not just your friends, we’re best friends. We’re practically sisters after all this time. And we don’t care whether you’re our sister or our brother, we love you all the same!”
“Yeah!” Apple Bloom said, joining in on the hug. “And we’ll help you figure this out! Are y’all thinking what I’m thinking?”
“That the Cutie Mark Crusaders have one more crusade to do?” Sweetie Belle said with a wide grin. “All we need to do is try doing some stallion things together and see how you like it!”
That was exactly what Scootaloo needed. She always tried everything with her CMC sisters, and it meant more than words could say that they were willing to explore this with her too.
“Alright,” Scootaloo said with a grin to match Sweetie Belle’s. “Where do we start?”
“Okay, he’s going out,” Apple Bloom said as Big Mac walked out into the apple orchard. “Let’s go!”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle followed her into the farmhouse, where she led them to her brother’s bedroom. In all the years that they had known each other, Scootaloo could count the times she’d had reason to enter it on her hooves.
She took note of it this time though. This wasn’t just a stallion’s bedroom, this was like, the stallion’s bedroom. Big Mac was the perfect country gentlecolt, and he could probably buck a tree in half if he wanted.
And yet, his bedroom was surprisingly boring. Spike’s bedroom always looked like what she expected a guy’s bedroom to look like. A bit of a mess, posters of cool stuff like comic book characters, probably in need of some air freshener. Big Mac’s, on the other hoof, was neat and tidy in every way, with a few pictures of his family and Sugar Belle for decorations.
“Equestria to Scootaloo,” Sweetie Belle said, snapping her back to her senses. “We doing this?”
“Oh, yeah.” Scootaloo shook her head. “I mean, of course we are!”
Apple Bloom was already rifling through Big Mac’s closet. “Well, he doesn’t have much… But he’s got this suit he wears on dates with Sugar Belle!”
She held it out for the others to see. It looked a little big for Scootaloo.
“It’s perfect!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Let’s bring it to my room, just in case he comes back,” Apple Bloom suggested. The others nodded in agreement.
Apple Bloom carried the suit as they went from Big Mac’s room to her room. After years of slumber parties, this was much more familiar to the other Crusaders, even if they usually met in their clubhouse.
She laid the suit down on her bed, and Scootaloo walked up to it tentatively. “I don’t know, girls.”
“Come on, we already got it!” Apple Bloom said as she shut the door behind them. “Can’t hurt to try it on.”
“I guess you’re right.” Scootaloo had never liked wearing clothes, and she wasn’t really sure this would be any different. But, well, there wasn’t any harm in trying…
She slipped on the white undershirt, which Sweetie Belle helped her button with magic. Buttons were new to her, since the dresses Rarity made never had them.
It fit about as well as anyone could expect. Scootaloo was a bit above average size for a mare, but Big Mac was, well, big. The shirt hung loosely on Scootaloo, and she wasn’t sure how the jacket was supposed to fit over it.
Still, they managed to get it on. It too went about as well as expected, and Scootaloo felt a bit like she was wearing a sheet.
“So how do ya feel?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I dunno…” Scootaloo said, looking down at the outfit. “This is just… weird.”
The door opened suddenly, with Applejack’s head appearing in the room. “AB, have you seen the good loppers? Some of the tree branches need cuttin’ and they ain’t put away in the shed.”
A worried look flashed across Apple Bloom’s face. “Uhh, no, I haven’t seen them, Applejack.”
Applejack sighed. “Consarnit, where did those things get off to?” She looked over and noticed Scootaloo. “And just what in tarnation are you wearin’?”
“Oh, that?” Apple Bloom asked. “It’s just…”
“It’s for a school play!” Scootaloo answered. “We’re in charge of costumes, and we were figuring out what the lead colt should wear.”
Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “Hold on, are those Big Mac’s date duds?”
“Uhm…” Scootaloo looked to the others, but no one had a good answer to that.
Applejack sighed. “Put them back where ya found them, those ain’t for playin’ around in. Go see Rarity ‘bout gettin’ a new costume or somethin’.”
“Right, sorry.” Scootaloo pulled off the ill-fitting jacket.
Applejack walked away shaking her head, leaving them to put away the clothes on their own.
Apple Bloom sighed in relief. “That could’ve been bad.”
“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle agreed. “Good thing for us Scootaloo’s quick on his hooves!”
Scootaloo couldn’t help but grin. Not at the compliment, but at the way Sweetie Belle has worded it. On his hooves. It was the first time someone had used the word for her and she, well… she kind of liked it.
She took a look in Apple Bloom’s mirror before pulling off the undershirt, and she saw, well… she didn’t know what she saw. But she couldn’t deny that she kind of liked it all the same.
“Are you sure this will work?” Scootaloo asked.
“Of course it will!” Sweetie Belle assured her. “Remember Twilight herself helped me with my magic, and she can do this spell easily.”
“Twilight can also fight off giant monsters…” Scootaloo said uncertainly. They were gathered around back at the clubhouse, and Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were exchanging worried looks.
“Relax, it’ll be fine!” Without giving them another chance to complain, Sweetie Belle pointed her horn at Scootaloo and it lit up a soft mint color.
There was a flash, and Scootaloo closed her eyes. She felt something happening to her, and then she felt different. She was afraid to open her eyes. The goal was to grow a mustache with a spell Twilight was known to use, but with Sweetie Belle casting it, Scootaloo just hoped she still had any hair at all.
Apple Bloom groaned. “What just happened?”
Wait, why was Apple Bloom groaning? Did Sweetie accidentally hit her too?
“I… I can fix it!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Fix what?” Scootaloo asked reluctantly.
She opened one eye and wasn’t sure what she was looking at. She opened both and started blinking. She looked at what she assumed were Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, and burst out laughing.
They were both covered in thick black hair, which looked to be the same consistency as facial hair but which covered their whole bodies. One look at Scootaloo and they both did the same.
She felt herself and instead of soft coat fur, she was now covered in coarse black hair. It covered everywhere she could see, and no doubt also everywhere she couldn’t.
“Well, that didn’t work,” Apple Bloom deadpanned. She tried to pull at the coarse black hair covering her, but it was well and truly stuck on.
“And we’re banned from the barbershop…” Sweetie Belle continued.
“Again…” Scootaloo finished. They’d had to let Applejack cut their manes for months, and something told Scootaloo that showing up like this wasn’t going to change anyone’s mind.
“So… Zecora?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Zecora,” the others agreed in unison.
“This hasn’t been working,” Apple Bloom said as they walked away from Zecora’s hut.
“I don’t know,” Sweetie Belle said with an innocent smile. “I can’t remember the last time my coat was this silky smooth.”
“Not that!” Apple Bloom said. “Trying to do guy things! You know what the problem is, right?”
Scootaloo wasn’t sure there was a problem. Sure, things kept going wrong, but she was having a blast. Still, she humored Apple Bloom. “What’s that?”
“We aren’t guys!” Apple Bloom said, gesturing to herself and Sweetie Belle. “What do we know about doing guy things?”
“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle said. “We need to find a stallion to ask for help from!”
“I don’t know…” It made sense, but telling someone new about this was a big step and she wasn’t sure she was ready to take that yet.
“You know, my brother has a guy’s night every week,” Apple Bloom said. “He must know about all kinds of guy stuff!”
“He’s perfect,” Sweetie Belle agreed.
“I… don’t think I’m ready to tell Big Mac yet,” Scootaloo said. He tried to be open-minded like his sisters, but Scootaloo wondered if this might be a little much for him.
“That’s not a problem. Who does Big Mac have his guy’s night with?” Sweetie Belle smiled at the others. “Spike! And you said he already knows, right?”
“Yeah, he does…” Scootaloo frowned. “But I don’t want to ask him either.
“Well, why not?” Apple Bloom asked. “He’s your coltfriend, he’d love to help you.”
“Maybe, but…” She sighed. “I think he’s a little weirded out by his marefriend maybe becoming his coltfriend. He said he wants to give it a chance, but I think he needs a little more time first.”
She was a little afraid that her friends would hold that against her coltfriend, but neither of them said anything about it. Sweetie Belle continued, “Well, if you don’t want to go to Big Mac or Spike, there’s one other person who goes to guy’s night we could talk to.”
Scootaloo quirked her head to the side. “You don’t mean…”
“Discord!” Sweetie Belle beamed.
“He is an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader,” Apple Bloom pointed out.
“I guess so,” Scootaloo said. “But, you know, he’s Discord. Do you really think he’d even take us seriously?”
“Oh, not at all,” Sweetie Belle said with a smile. “But that’s just it, it’s perfect if he doesn’t! He’ll just think it’s some silly pony thing and won’t ask questions.”
“Hang on, does any of us know where to find Discord?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I do,” Scootaloo admitted. “Well, maybe anyway. Spike told me he moved his pocket dimension into Fluttershy’s old cottage when she moved into Twilight’s castle. So he’s probably there.”
“And Fluttershy’s cottage is near here!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “See, it’s perfect. What do ya say, Scoots?”
Scootaloo still wasn’t sure about telling someone else, even if it was Discord and even if he was an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader. But she was having so much fun, and she didn’t want it to stop just because they were out of ideas.
“Alright, let’s do it.”
Zecora’s hut wasn’t far into the Everfree Forest, so it didn’t take long to get to Fluttershy’s cottage, which was right on the edge of it. Along the way, Scootaloo’s confidence grew. The idea of telling Discord was a little daunting, but it was also a little exciting. She was really doing this.
The outside of Fluttershy’s house looked the same as it ever did. The grass was still green, the windows were still glass, the bird feeders were still hanging from trees. No sign of chaos magic. Really, there was no sign that Fluttershy herself no longer lived there.
“You sure he lives here?” Apple Bloom asked. “Was kinda expecting the whole thing to be upside down or something.”
“Maybe he only decorated the inside?” Scootaloo pointed out. She craned her neck to look through a window, but all the furniture seemed to still be on the ground and the stairway still went up.
She shrugged and knocked on the door. Worst case scenario, no one answered.
“Who is it?” Discord’s voice called from inside the cottage.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders all looked at each other excitedly. “It’s us, the CMC,” Apple Bloom called. “Can we talk to you for a minute?”
Rather than open the door, Discord teleported outside of it. He was floating above them and wearing a scout uniform the likes of which the CMC themselves had certainly never worn. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite club! Need my help searching for your cutie marks again?”
“Aww, we found our cutie marks years ago,” Apple Bloom pointed out.
“Oh, are you sure about that?” Discord pointed away from them, towards what seemed to be Apple Bloom’s cutie mark hopping away. One look back at her flank revealed it was blank.
“Hey, get back here!” she said as she ran after it.
“Uh, you can fix that, right?” Scootaloo asked Discord.
“Well, I suppose I could maybe give it a try.” Discord snapped his fingers, but instead of the cutie mark returning, there was a puff of smoke around Discord and then he was in a fishing outfit complete with a pole. He cast the line out in the direction of the cutie mark, hooking into it.
“Ow! Hey, that hurts!” Apple Bloom said, rubbing the spot where her cutie mark used to be.
Ignoring her, Discord fought to reel it in. It seemed to put in quite a fight, and which one was winning the tug-of-war went back and forth. “Well, don’t just stand there!” Discord said. “Grab it!”
Apple Bloom dove for her cutie mark, which continued to struggle. “How do I get it back on?”
Discord pulled out a roll of duct tape, although it wasn’t clear from where.
“No way!” Apple Bloom said. “That’ll pull all my fur out.”
“Oh, fine.” Discord snapped his fingers and Apple Bloom’s cutie mark went back where to her flank. “There, good as new.”
Apple Bloom glared at him, but Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle laughed. If there was one thing to be said about Discord, it was that there was never a dull moment with him.
“So what about you two? Fancy a game of chasing around the cutie marks?”
“Maybe another time,” Scootaloo said. “We actually came to ask you about something else today.”
“And what might that be? For a grand adventure through the multiverse? Time travel? The contents of Celestia’s private diary?” Discord held up a diary with Celestia’s cutie mark and the words ‘Hooves Off Luna!’ on it.
Scootaloo looked to Sweetie Belle who nodded encouragingly. She took a deep breath and said, “We just wanted to know what guys do.”
Discord frowned. “That’s it?”
“Yeah, it’s… it’s important to me,” Scootaloo said. She wondered how she could possibly convince him to tell them. She prepared herself to launch into yet another explanation of what was going on.
“Alright, fine.” Or maybe he’d just tell them without needing a reason. “Guys like doing things like aggressive sports –” he snapped and Sweetie Belle was wearing a hoofball uniform “– taking on nature –” another snap, and Scootaloo was in a mountain climbing outfit “– and, of course, cruising for ladies –” one more snap, and Apple Bloom was in a zoot suit.
“Is this really what guys like to do?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Spike doesn’t like any of those things,” Scootaloo pointed out with a shrug. “What about Big Mac?”
“Not really, except maybe the nature one,” Apple Bloom said. “He just loves going camping, but then again, so do me and Applejack.”
“Yeah, and Rainbow totally owns at hoofball,” Scootaloo added.
“And I don’t think flirting with girls is really what we want.” She looked at Scootaloo and quirked her head. “Er, is it?”
“Of course not! I have a coltfriend. Besides, I don’t even like girls like that.” She stopped and thought for a moment. “Wait, if I’m a stallion, does that mean I’m gay now?”
“Well then, this is a surprise,” Discord said as he stroked his goatee. He considered Scootaloo for a moment. “Well, it’s actually not that surprising. But still, if this was about you being a stallion, you should have just said. I could just turn you into a stallion, you know.”
“You can?” Scootaloo asked.
“Of course I can, I can do anything.” He lifted his fingers, primed to snap.
Scootaloo looked between Discord and the others. “I… I don’t know. The thing is that I’m not really sure what I want. I think I might want to be a stallion, but I’m not really sure.”
“Well, nothing better than experience, eh?” Discord said.
“Can you change him back afterwards if he doesn’t like it?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Hmph.” Discord frowned. “I suppose I could, though I hardly see the fun in it.”
There it was again. Change him back if he doesn’t like it. And it was even coming from Apple Bloom, whom Scootaloo had expected would need the most time to get used to this.
It made her happy. It made her want to do this. “As long as you can change me back, let’s do it.”
Discord grinned. “Alright then, fillies and gentlecolt, here we go!” He snapped his fingers, then everything changed.
Scootaloo felt her body being pulled in different directions. She imagined it must be how a balloon felt, being pulled every which way and growing ever bigger. When it finally stopped, she felt unsure on her hooves.
“Er, I don’t think that’s what Scootaloo had in mind,” Apple Bloom said.
Scootaloo rubbed her head, only to find she was wearing some kind of helmet. She moved her hoof to her chin, and found coarse stubble covering it. She felt around her face, and her snout seemed larger than it used to be. Then again, everything seemed larger than it used to be.
“It worked!” Scootaloo’s voice was very much not Scootaloo’s voice. It wasn’t even Scootaloo’s voice if she were a stallion. It was somepony else’s voice entirely, and that was the first thing that clued her in that Apple Bloom was right, and this was not what she had in mind.
The second was when she noticed the fur around her legs. In place of her bright orange fur, it was a dull brown.
The third and final thing was when Discord snapped his fingers and a mirror appeared. “What do you think?”
Scootaloo was definitely staring at a stallion. It was, however, an entirely different stallion. A dark brown construction pony, complete with a hard hat, vest, and hammer and nails cutie mark. “Discord!”
“Don’t like it? Well, what about this?” He snapped his fingers again, and this time she was a beige stallion in a doctor’s coat. “Or this?” Another snap, and this time she was a fluffy grey unicorn with a messy brown mane.
“Not a different stallion,” Scootaloo said, surprising herself with the Trottingham accent that this pony apparently had. “Just me as a stallion.”
“Really? You came to me for something that simple?” Discord asked.
“Well, of course,” Scootaloo said, surprised by Discord’s surprise. “Who else could do something like that?”
“Very well.” With another snap of his fingers, Scootaloo was back to normal.
Too normal. “But I’m just me,” she said. “I thought you were going to make me a stallion.”
Discord just shrugged. “You ponies have such a rigid view of genders. If you want to be a stallion, then you look like a stallion to me.”
A beeping sound came from inside the cottage. “Oh, my cookies are done!”
“Can we have some cookies?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Discord laughed. “Oh, these cookies are for tea with Fluttershy.”
Apple Bloom cocked her head. “But she’s on her honeymoon.”
“And won’t they just be delighted when I pop in to surprise them. Tootles!” With one final snap of his fingers, Discord was gone.
Sweetie Belle sighed. “Another bust…”
Scootaloo barely heard her. She only had one thought going through her head. “You look like a stallion to me.”
But she couldn’t explain what she was feeling. It almost felt like the magic would leave if she did. So instead she just smiled and started walking back towards town. “Let’s go, girls.”
Everything worked just as well as everything else. Which was to say, everything was an amazing experience. Oh sure, nothing really went right. Every attempt at doing something like a guy blew up in their faces – the worst was working out with Bulk Biceps; Scootaloo was sure she’d be bruised for weeks.
But then… it didn’t really matter in the end. Not really. She was having so much fun, more fun than she could remember having in ages.
Since the Cutie Mark Crusaders finished their crusade, she realized. She loved their jobs of helping other ponies explore their cutie marks, and she wouldn’t give it up for the world. But there was something about exploring herself that had been so exciting, and today, she got to do that again for the first time in years.
“Sorry nothing’s worked out, Scoots,” Sweetie Belle said as they regrouped in their clubhouse. “Maybe we can try something tomorrow.”
“Or maybe tonight?” Apple Bloom said. “What do you two say about having a Cutie Mark Crusader slumber party?”
“That’s a great idea!” Sweetie Belle said.
“You want to with me even though I might be a stallion?” Scootaloo asked.
Apple Bloom laughed. “Mare or stallion, you’re still Scootaloo.”
She smiled. “Well then, that sounds cool to me!”
Sweetie Belle gasped. “And that gives me an idea for one more thing we can do! We can try having our own guy’s night!”
“Er, Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom furrowed her brow. “We’ve already went over that you and me ain’t guys.”
“Yeah, but we can still do the things your brother and his friends do when they have their guy’s nights.” Sweetie Belle looked at them uncertainly. “Er, assuming one of you knows what they do.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “They usually just play Oubliettes and Ogres. I’ve played with Spike before, and trust me, there’s nothing stallionish about that.”
“Ain’t that the game where you make a character and play as ‘em?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yup, that’s the one. It’s okay, pretty nerdy though.”
Apple Bloom grinned as if she had something in mind. “Well, what’s your character?”
“I play as a ranger. She’s a pegasus who –”
“He,” Apple Bloom said.
“What? But she’s not a stallion.”
“Well tonight, he is. I’ll borrow my brother’s things and we can all play, and then you can try playing as a stallion.”
Scootaloo smiled. It was a good idea. Maybe it was the first really good idea they’d had all day. It wasn’t her favorite game by any means, but just like she’d been interested in playing a character who could fly, playing a character who was a stallion was also kind of exciting.
Which might have been what helped something click into place. All day Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had been saying ‘he’ and ‘him’, and as little of a thing as it was, Scootaloo liked it. He liked it a lot.
“Hey, girls?” he asked. “Remember when you said it would be okay if I was your sister or your brother? Well… do you think it could maybe be… brother?”
“Of course!” Sweetie Belle gave Scootaloo a hug, followed by Apple Bloom.
“Thank you,” Scootaloo said. “Thank you both so much.”
“Hey, don’t sweat it,” Apple Bloom said. “I’m glad you’re figurin’ this out.”
“Even with all our bad ideas,” Sweetie Belle added.
Scootaloo laughed. “No, today was just what I needed to figure things out. Even if it would be nice to have somepony to talk to who knew what this was like.”
“Hmm… We don’t know anyone like that, but we know someone who might.” Apple Bloom looked between the others and grinned. “Princess Luna!”
“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle agreed. “Princess Luna is the wisest pony we’ve ever met! She knows all kinds of things, including all kinds of ponies. Maybe she has some advice.”
Each of them had met Princess Luna in their dreams, Scootaloo before either of the others. Then they had met her again, and again. She had become something of a staple while they were growing up. Nightmares were quelled by the Lunar Princess, who never failed to dispatch sage advice to the younger ponies.
So it made sense that she might know something that could help. “You don’t think she’s too busy though, do you?” Scootaloo asked.
“Aww, I’m sure she has time for a letter,” Apple Bloom said. “You know she always says we can reach out to her about anything.”
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, that’s true. But what do I say?”
Sweetie Belle was already fetching some paper and a quill. “Simple, just tell her about what you’re going through. We’ll help you if you get stuck.”
Scootaloo nodded. She took the quill and began to write.
⠀ Life was strange. A month ago, Amber was being proposed to by a wonderful stallion whom they could never truly love. A month ago, they were still going by ‘she’ and they were pretty sure they would be locked into life as a straight mare for years to come. A month ago, life seemed simple and miserable, but now it was complicated and exciting.
And while it may not be as significant as the other changes, a month ago, Amber thought they might never get to travel again. Now, they were on the train from Canterlot to Ponyville, and that was only one stop on the way to their final destination.
That wasn’t even what really threw Amber off, though. What really felt strange was that they weren’t just going to visit. For whatever reason, Luna seemed to think Amber was ready to help somepony else who needed advice, even though they were themself still new to all this gender stuff.
Well, they could worry about it if they wanted to, but that wouldn’t stop the train from reaching Ponyville. That was the nice thing about trains – nothing stopped forward motion from happening.
“Arriving at Ponyville soon!” an attendant announced as she walked down the aisle. “Please return to your seats for arrival.”
Amber was already in their seat, so they just turned to look out the window to watch as Ponyville drew closer. It had only been a few weeks since they were last there for the wedding, and they hadn’t expected to be back quite so soon. And they certainly hadn’t expected to be back for the reason that they were.
Amber took a deep breath and reminded themself that Luna seemed to think they were the right pony for the job on this, and she did usually know what she was talking about. Whether Amber could see it or not, Luna could see something in them that made her sure of this.
It didn’t really help; Amber kept fretting all the way to the station. They barely even knew what they were doing with themself, how were they supposed to help somepony else? Maybe Luna was just wrong this time. It had happened before…
The train rolled to a stop and Amber wished it would just keep going. That was the bad thing about trains, they didn’t do what one pony wanted them to.
Everypony started getting to their hooves, so soon Amber had to do the same. They shuffled out of the train with their eyes on the floor, but chided themself when they were outside. Whether they were ready or not, they still needed to greet the day head-on.
When they picked their head up, they saw the pony they were here for quickly. Scootaloo was the center of a group, with ponies Amber recognized – Rainbow Dash, Spike, Scootaloo’s friends that Amber forgot the names of – and a few ponies they didn’t know.
“Scootaloo!” Amber called out, catching his attention.
Scootaloo looked up and smiled. “Hey, Amber. Thanks for coming to meet me.”
“Of course,” Amber said as if there was nothing they’d rather be doing. It wasn’t that they had a problem hanging out with Scootaloo. The two had gotten along well enough when they met at the wedding, and his transition had also been an eye-opening experience for Amber.
But that was just it. Scootaloo was the one who inspired Amber to question their gender, more or less. The other world’s Scootaloo, to be more specific, but still. The two of them were just as new as each other to this whole thing, so how was Amber supposed to help him navigate his gender?
“I’m Scootaloo’s Aunt Holiday,” an earth pony mare said as she stepped up to bump Amber’s hoof. “Scootaloo mentioned you’re Princess Luna’s partner?”
Amber was pretty sure they saw what was going on; Holiday was understandably concerned about a pony she didn’t know taking Scootaloo off to another town, just the two of them, so she was checking Amber’s credentials. The partner of a princess was probably trustworthy.
“Yes, ma’am,” Amber said, shooting for politeness to hopefully ease her mind. “Luna introduced us at Twilight, Fluttershy, and Sunset’s wedding.”
“And you two will be going all the way to Fillydelphia?” Oh yeah, she was definitely worried.
Amber nodded. “We thought it might be nice for Scootaloo to go somewhere she doesn’t know anyone, that way she can try being more open without worrying about what others will think.” They felt a little bad using ‘she’ for Scootaloo, but Luna had explained that he still wasn’t out to anyone but his close friends and family yet, and the train station was too crowded to risk saying something the wrong pony might hear.
Holiday still looked worried, but Amber knew she would be. Fillydelphia wasn’t close, and Amber was still a stranger. But at least Luna’s word must have counted for something, because she didn’t try to argue.
And it seemed Scootaloo didn’t share any of her concerns. “It’ll be fine, Aunt Holiday.”
“I’ve met Amber a few times,” Rainbow said with a smile. “Besides, she’s been friends with Fluttershy for ages. She’s a good pony.”
“Uh, Rainbow?” Scootaloo said awkwardly. “I think Amber goes by ‘he’ now.” He looked over at Amber. “Er, right?”
Before Amber could answer, Rainbow facehoofed. “Oh, right, sorry.”
“It’s ‘them’, actually.” Amber couldn’t help but blush a little saying it. They tried to laugh it off. “It’s… weird, I know.” It was nice that ponies were making the effort, but they still felt kind of odd about the whole thing. It was awkward, they knew, especially since they’d chosen a pronoun that very few ponies went with.
They were saved from talking more about pronouns when a pegasus mare stepped up beside Holiday. Whether because Rainbow had convinced her or because she just needed less convincing, she placed a hoof on Holiday’s shoulder and guided her a step back. “Come on, dear, let’s get out of their hair.”
“Sure you don’t want us to come too?” one of Scootaloo’s friends asked. Amber was pretty sure she was Rarity’s sister.
“Come on, girls, let’s give her some space,” Rainbow said. “Scoots can tell you all about it tomorrow.”
“Have a safe trip,” Spike said. He knelt down to hug Scootaloo, and Amber remembered at the party they had talked about the fact that the two of them might’ve started dating. Amber wondered if it was true after all.
They got their answer when Scootaloo gave Spike a quick kiss. The two of them must not have been dating for long, however, because Spike was left blushing from it.
“Ready to get going?” Amber asked when Scootaloo pulled away from Spike.
“Yeah, let’s do it!”
Amber smiled and led them back to the train. Travel arrangements had already been made by Luna, at least – they had a private cabin, which would let them talk a little more freely. Amber had always preferred being in the public area with all the other ponies, but they had no idea what kinds of things Scootaloo might want to talk about.
But it seemed Scootaloo might not be quick to talk at all when they took their seats. He had seemed fairly eager outside when he was surrounded by his friends, but now that they were alone, he seemed to feel just as awkward as Amber did.
It was hard to tell if that made things better or worse. At the very least, Amber did have a pretty good idea of where to start. “So now that we’re getting away from Ponyville, we’ll switch to using ‘he’ and ‘him’ for you, right?”
“I, er, I guess. If that’s not a big deal.”
Amber smiled and sat down, patting the seat next to them. “Of course. And I know how you feel, I’m still getting used to mine too.”
Scootaloo took the seat, but he looked away from Amber. “And… sorry about Rainbow. She’s been really good about my pronouns and everything.”
“Hey, no sweat. It was a mistake.” Amber laughed. “You know, Luna’s actually been better about my pronouns than I’ve been. I keep slipping up, she’s even caught me a few times.”
Finally, Scootaloo laughed a little too. “It’s a weird change to make. I… I have a question, if… if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is.” Oh no, that meant he thought Amber had an answer…
“Well, I guess… are you a transstallion too? Luna didn’t exactly say, and then you said you use ‘them’…”
Ah good, at least that was something Amber could answer. “Not exactly. I’m genderqueer.”
“Genderqueer?”
“Yeah. I’m sorta like… in between, I guess? It’s… kinda hard to describe, but not like a mare or a stallion.” Amber felt dumb trying to explain it. Up until now, other ponies had been the ones explaining this to them. Luna had explained what she could, and then her friend had explained more. They were still getting used to nonbinary genders and couldn’t yet articulate what being genderqueer meant to them.
“Oh, okay,” Scootaloo said, seeming to accept it at face value. “That makes sense. That’s really cool!”
Amber smiled a little, glad he wasn’t pressing for a better explanation since there was no way Amber could have given one. “To be honest, this is all really new to me. I’m… not really sure I’m the best pony for this sort of thing, you know?”
“That’s okay,” Scootaloo said. “I’m just kind of looking forward to getting to try being a little more open in Fillydelphia.”
At least that was something Amber could help with. “I know some queer-friendly places we can go. I was thinking we could start with getting you some new clothes to look the part.”
Scootaloo rolled his eyes. “I was never that into clothes.”
“Well, yeah, but you always wore dresses and stuff. Have you ever worn a suit?”
“Er, sort of…” Scootaloo grinned sheepishly. “I kinda… borrowed one, but it didn’t really fit.”
“Right, so, you don’t have to if you really don’t want to, but I think it’s worth a shot. Trust me, suits are way better than dresses.”
Scootaloo shrugged. “I guess I don’t really have anything to lose. Sure, let’s do it.”
Amber nodded and felt a little more sure of the day. They were glad they’d cleared the air and pointed out that they weren’t an expert. Better to go into the day with the right expectations.
And as long as Scootaloo was okay with the fact that Amber didn’t have all the answers, maybe it could just be a nice day out with a new friend. They could do that.
“So… you and Spike, huh?”
Scootaloo blushed. “Uh, yeah. We’ve been dating for a little over a month.”
Amber snickered. “Aww, nothing to be embarrassed about. Just two cool guys being great together.”
Scootaloo wore a goofy grin at that. He seemed to really enjoy being called a guy. “Yeah, Spike’s great.”
Amber smiled. They weren’t really close to Spike, but they’d seen him every time they visited Ponyville since he lived with their other friends there. It was nice to know he’d found someone cool to date. “How’d he take the trans reveal? Or did he already know before?”
“No, we started dating before I figured it out.” Scootaloo took a deep breath and spoke contentedly. “He wants to keep trying to make things work. I’ve been really lucky.”
Amber nodded. “That’s great! I’m glad you have a good support group.”
“Yeah, everyone’s been taking it really well.” Scootaloo grinned sheepishly and rubbed a hoof through his mane. “I think it’s a little like you and Princess Luna. Like, they’re all totally cool with everything, and I’m the one who sometimes worries about it.”
“Yeah, I can understand that.” Amber wasn’t sure that they’d have any words of advice to give, but they couldn’t just leave the question unasked. “Have you been having a lot of doubts?”
Scootaloo gave Amber a worried look. “I don’t know. A few, at least.”
“I think that’s normal.” Amber shrugged. “Or at least, I know I’ve been going through the same thing. Feels like it would be a lot easier to just keep on being a mare.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“But sometimes I just get hit with this wave of feeling like I’m finally being myself for the first time ever, and it’s just…”
“It’s a great feeling,” Scootaloo agreed. Amber smiled, glad to hear Scootaloo had felt that too. “So what about you? Have ponies been accepting you being genderqueer?”
Amber scratched at her neck. “Well, I haven’t exactly told many ponies. Luna has been of course, and she introduced me to a friend of hers who’s also genderqueer, who taught me a lot about it. And then I wrote to my brother about it, and he’s cool with it. And now you.”
“That’s good, everyone’s taking it well so far.”
“Yeah… My parents though…” Amber winced at the thought.
Scootaloo frowned. “They don’t know?”
“No, and I might just keep it that way. They’d never understand, they didn’t even approve of me being a lesbian.”
“That’s awful!”
Amber smiled, even if they didn’t really want to. “Yeah, well, kind of. But hey, at least I’m living in Canterlot now, so I don’t really have to worry about all that too much.”
“Yeah, I guess…” Scootaloo stared out of the window. “I wouldn’t really want to tell my parents either. Not that it matters, I haven’t seen them in years. Not since Aunt Holiday and Auntie Lofty adopted me.”
Amber nudged Scootaloo’s shoulder. “Hey, who even needs parents when you have other ponies who care about you? And from what I’ve seen, you have a lot.”
Scootaloo smiled a little. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Now departing Ponyville!” an attendant said from somewhere outside their cabin.
“So, ever been to Filly?” Amber asked, hoping to pick up with a lighter conversation.
It seemed to work, as Scootaloo smiled a little more. “Nope.”
“Just wait, you’re gonna love it there!”
As the train started moving, Amber told Scootaloo about the cool things they’d get to do in Fillydelphia. It worked to get them away from the heavy conversation, and helped Amber feel better about the day. Maybe they weren’t an expert on gender stuff, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t give Scootaloo a positive experience.
The first steps into Fillydelphia brought a smile to Amber’s face. It hadn’t been long at all since they had left, but it was still nice to be back. It set their mind at ease a little about having left in the first place, reminding them that Filly would always be there.
Although there was one part about Fillydelphia that she missed more than any other. “Hey, Scootaloo?”
“Yeah?”
Amber glanced away, hoping they weren’t about to ruin the day before it had really begun. “Do you think it’d be okay if my brother tagged along with us? He’s not that much younger than you, and he’s cool.”
“Uh, sure I guess.”
“Thanks. Sorry, I know today’s kind of a big deal, it’s just that I never get to see him now that I’m in Canterlot. Promise today will still be all about you.”
Scootaloo laughed a little. “Hey, it’s cool. I don’t mind having one more pony with us.”
Amber smiled and led the way through the streets. They told Scootaloo a little bit about Filly as they walked, leading them to the park where they had agreed to meet with Fox Glove as long as Scootaloo was okay with it.
It felt a little wrong to meet up with him in secret, especially when their parents had said Amber and Fox Glove could see each other. But there was too much room for error with Scootaloo – what if one of them wanted to tag along? What if they wanted Amber to visit him at home? There was no way to tell they’d have privacy, and this day was supposed to be about Scootaloo.
And anyway, whatever concerns they had melted away once they were in the park and a small purple pegasus waved to them excitedly. Amber waved back, then they both ran for each other.
“Amber, you made it!” Fox Glove said as he hugged them.
“Yeah, Scoots says you can tag along today,” Amber said, hugging him back. They pulled apart and gestured towards Scootaloo. “Speaking of which, this is Scootaloo. He’s Rainbow Dash’s little brother, and we’re showing him around Filly today.”
“Oh, nice to meet you,” Fox Glove mumbled to the ground.
Amber rolled their eyes and pushed Fox Glove forward. “Foxy’s a little shy.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Scootaloo said, offering a hoof to bump Fox Glove’s. He accepted the hoof bump and gave an awkward smile, but he didn’t manage to say anything else.
“So we were gonna start with getting Scoots a suit,” Amber said.
Fox Glove gave them a confused look. “Can’t he get a suit anywhere?”
“Yeah, but this place is cool. Come on.” They led the way without explaining further. They weren’t actually sure if Fox Glove didn’t notice Scootaloo was trans or if he didn’t care, but they didn’t want to draw attention to it when they didn’t know how Scootaloo wanted to present himself.
For his part, Scootaloo seemed delighted to be talked about so casually as a stallion. At least, that was why Amber thought he looked so happy, since his outlook on getting a suit was at best indifferent.
It was a nice stroll through town to the shop Amber had in mind. Amber indulged themself by asking Fox Glove the usual things about how school was going, and Fox Glove gave the usual teenage answer of “Fine, I guess.”
Feeling bad about excluding Scootaloo, Amber tried bringing him into the conversation. “How about you, Scoots? How do you like school?”
Scootaloo shrugged. “It’s okay. I go to school with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, so it gives us a chance to hang out.”
Amber nodded. “Spike doesn’t go to school with you?”
“No, Twilight homeschools him.”
Amber chuckled. “Yeah, I’m not surprised.”
“Being homeschooled would be kind of cool,” Fox Glove said. Amber was glad to see him joining in on the conversation with them. “There’s too many ponies at school…”
“Yeah, wouldn’t you just love if Mom or Dad gave you lessons?” Amber said with a grin.
“No,” Fox Glove answered quickly. “But it would’ve been cool when you were living with us.”
Amber chuckled. “I dropped out, Foxy. I don’t think I’m qualified to teach anyone.”
“What was it like dropping out of school?” Scootaloo asked.
“Not as fun as it sounds. I was making all kinds of mistakes back then, and it took years to get back on track with my life.”
It was a bit unexpected that Amber became the topic of discussion, but they didn’t mind. They told Scootaloo and Fox Glove about their journey of self-discovery as they travelled Equestria, which of course Fox Glove already knew about.
It was a conversation that kept them busy until they reached the tailor’s. It was a small building with a pride flag outside, which was why it had first caught Amber’s eye years ago.
Of course, the main reason she chose it now was the mare who ran it. They walked inside and were greeted by a gruff mare in a pristine suit. “Well, if it isn’t Amber Glow. And you finally cut off that ridiculous mane, too.”
“Hey there, Dazzle. Long time no see.” Amber gestured towards the others. “This is my brother Fox Glove, and this is Scootaloo. Scoots came here from Ponyville because he needs a suit.”
Dazzle looked nothing like her name. She was a plain earth pony with a mane shorter than Amber’s, and she had a rugged build. She had been a pony that once changed Amber’s views on the kind of mare they wanted to be, which is why it made sense to bring Scootaloo here. On top of running a very queer-friendly business, she was an expert on gender nonconforming apparel.
“Well, you came to the right place. Step on up and let’s see what we can do. So what kind of suit did you have in mind?”
“Uh, I don’t know.” Scootaloo looked to Amber for help. “I’ve never done this before.”
“You’ve never gotten a suit before?” Fox Glove asked.
“No, only... dresses.” Scootaloo looked down at the ground.
Fox Glove’s mouth curved into an ‘oh’ shape, but Dazzle just grinned without missing a beat. “Well then you definitely came to the right place. Lemme see what I can do for you.”
As she took Scootaloo’s measurements, Amber found themself even happier that they had come here. Even if she wasn’t trans herself, Dazzle was clearly used to the subject. “So how long you been out, Scoots?”
“Well, I’m not exactly… out yet…”
“Big day today then, huh?”
“Yeah, we thought it’d be easier for me trying things out away from home.”
“Makes sense. Here, lemme get your midsection.” Scootaloo followed her instructions as she told him to let her measure different places. “Interesting cutie mark.”
Scootaloo lit up. “I got it with my two best friends. We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”
“Cutie Mark Crusaders?” Dazzle smirked. “Sounds important.”
“It is! We help ponies figure out their cutie marks. Younger ponies come to us to try new things so they can get their marks, and we even help older ponies when they don’t understand what their cutie marks could mean.”
Dazzle laughed. “Well, if I ever have cutie mark problems, I know who I’ll turn to.”
“Uhm…” Fox Glove pawed at the ground. “Do you… would you be able to help me get my cutie mark?”
Scootaloo must have really loved what he did, because he was beaming as he answered. “Of course!”
Amber nudged their brother. “Since when do you care about getting your cutie mark?”
Fox Glove blushed. “Well, I d-don’t really… I was just, you know, just curious.”
“You’ll probably get yours soon.” Amber put their foreleg around Fox Glove’s shoulders, and he wriggled away. Since he didn’t want to be hugged, Amber whacked him with their wing instead. “I was around your age when I got mine, you know.”
“I know,” Fox Glove answered with an eye roll. “I’ve heard that story a million times.”
“I haven’t,” Scootaloo said. “How’d you get your cutie mark?”
Amber grinned as they launched into the story. They always liked to tell it, even if for Fox Glove’s sake, they kept to the short version this time. “When I was thirteen, two of my friends got into a fight. I mediated between the two of them and got them both to open up to me. They both had something they didn’t want to say, but once I got the whole story from them, I was able to get them to see that it was all a misunderstanding.”
“And then Amber learned that they’re super good at talking to ponies,” Fox Glove finished.
“Not just talking to ponies.” Amber poked Fox Glove in the chest. “I’m good at getting ponies to open up to me.”
“Yeah yeah, I still say they just like talking a lot,” Fox Glove said with a smug look.
All at once, Amber felt a surge of emotion at Fox Glove’s words. They wanted to hug him, although they knew he’d just squirm away again. But it just felt really nice to hear that coming from Fox Glove.
Sure, other ponies had been good about adapting to their new pronouns, but it felt different coming from Fox Glove. Better. If they had to choose, Fox Glove was the pony most near and dear to Amber’s heart, and hearing him use non-gendered terms for Amber so fluently really cemented it as the right decision.
So naturally, Amber showed this by ruffling Fox Glove’s mane. “With how often you speak up? I have to talk enough to make up for both of us.”
“I talk to you,” Fox Glove shot back.
“Yeah, and Mom and Dad and that’s it.”
“I have friends, you know…”
Amber ignored his comment and grabbed him roughly by the shoulder. “Aww, don’t worry. Someday you’ll learn to talk, then you can get your own cutie mark!”
Fox Glove grinned and pushed Amber away. “No way, if I got my cutie mark for that it might just be a picture of your dumb face! I need to get it in something cool.”
“Cooler than my face?” Amber asked in faux shock. “That’ll never happen.”
“Don’t worry,” Scootaloo said. “Whenever you get your cutie mark, I’m sure it’ll be awesome.”
Being reminded that it wasn’t just the two siblings present seemed to snap Fox Glove back to his shy self. “Oh, uhm, thanks…”
Scootaloo snickered at the effect, and Dazzle stepped away. “I think we got what we needed. Let’s see about actually getting you in a suit.”
“Alright,” Scootaloo said. He was wearing a small grin. “I’m getting a little excited. I don’t think I’ve ever been excited about clothes before.”
“That’s because you’ve never worn clothes from me,” Dazzle said.
“Not wearing a dress probably helps,” Amber pointed out.
Dazzle pointed a hoof at Amber. “If I designed dresses, he’d be excited for a dress,” she said, then disappeared into a back room.
“I tried to get her to make a dress for me to wear to the wedding,” Amber said. “She said I was being dumb and to wear a nice suit instead.”
“But… you did wear a suit,” Scootaloo pointed out.
“Yeah, turns out she was right. I was being pretty dumb.”
When Dazzle came back, she had a suit with her. “It’ll need adjusting, but if you want it for your big day today then we’ve got no choice but to go with one I’ve got on hoof.”
Dazzle helped Scootaloo try it on, and like she said, it wasn’t a perfect fit. Still, it was undeniable that he looked quite dashing in a suit.
“Damn, Scoots, you sure you’ve never worn a suit before?” Amber asked. “Because you are rocking it.”
“Yeah, dude, looking good,” Fox Glove said.
Scootaloo blushed and looked at himself in the mirror. Amber had been where he was now, and although there was no way to tell if he felt the same way, they remembered how they had felt.
It had felt a little wrong, but in all the right ways. At the time, they had already known they were a lesbian, but there was something about defying gender norms that had felt just as right. Looking back on it, they could see that it wasn’t about looking like a stallion, and it wasn’t about looking like a mare in a suit. They had always been interested in existing somewhere in between.
Okay, so that probably wasn’t how Scootaloo felt. But maybe it was something similar, because the way he beamed at himself in the mirror left no doubt that he was feeling pretty good about himself.
And if there had been any doubt, he’d have erased it when he struck a pose. Facing the mirror, he lifted one foreleg to his chest and gave his most suave grin. Amber clapped their hooves, and Fox Glove soon joined in.
Scootaloo turned to them with a blush, but he was still grinning. Dazzle told him to hold still while she adjusted the suit.
Time flew by as Dazzle resized the suit. Scootaloo’s good mood was infectious, and they shared jokes while they hyped him up.
When she was done, Amber paid her from the money Luna had given her for the day. They were all smiles on the way out.
“This is awesome,” Scootaloo said as he examined himself again. “I think I finally see what Rarity likes so much about clothes.”
“Oh yeah, gonna become a tailor now?” Amber asked with a smirk.
“Well, okay maybe I don’t see exactly what she sees.”
“So what now?” Fox Glove asked.
“Hmm…” Amber considered Scootaloo, then they smiled. “I think I have an idea.”
Scootaloo kept rubbing his hoof through his mane. Truthfully, he had always kept it short enough to be a stallion’s cut, but a new self-image wasn’t complete without a new manecut. It still curled up at the end, but it wasn’t as prominent now that he had less hair in his mane.
That had been the second stop on their day, and then after that, they had gone to a tea bar. It was Amber’s favorite establishment in Fillydelphia, in part because of the theme – vaudeville, which was always fun – and in part because of the type of ponies that theme attracted.
Needless to say, it was the type of place that didn’t bat an eye at the largely queer group. Amber thought it would be a good idea to cap the night off by just hanging out, but in a queer-friendly place.
“So, Fox Glove,” Scootaloo said with a smile, “tell me about what you like to do. Maybe I can help you get your cutie mark.”
“Oh, I don’t know…”
Amber clapped him on the back. “Foxy’s really good at working with plants. Our mom is a florist, so it could be a family thing.”
“I do not want to be a florist,” Fox Glove said defensively.
“Why not?” Scootaloo asked. “Don’t like it?”
Fox Glove looked between the two of them, then addressed the floor. “It’s okay, I guess.”
“Hey, we’re not saying you have to or anything,” Scootaloo said. “Just trying to get an idea, you know?”
“Why don’t you want to be a florist?” Amber asked. “Are flowers and stuff just not your thing, or is it, you know… because Mom’s a florist.”
Fox Glove frowned, and Amber got the answer they wanted.
“Wait, why’s that matter?” Scootaloo asked.
“We don’t always see eye to eye with our parents,” Amber explained.
Fox Glove looked away from both of the others. “I don’t want to follow in her hoofsteps. I’d rather… not even get a cutie mark.”
“Hey, there’s lots of cutie marks you could get,” Scootaloo pointed out. “And if you like plants, there’s other things you could try. Like maybe you could be a wicked cool adventurer who goes around looking for rare plants!”
“See, Mom and Dad have nothing on that,” Amber said with a nudge.
“I guess not. But for that, couldn’t I just be a regular adventurer and look for treasure and stuff? That’d be cooler.”
“Do you wanna be an adventurer?” Scootaloo asked.
“I don’t know. It’d be pretty cool.” Fox Glove shifted in his seat. “But probably not.”
Amber downed the rest of their tea. “Well, I think for one of us, today’s adventure is over.”
“Aww, come on!” Fox Glove pleaded.
“Sorry, but it’s getting late. We need to head back to the station, and if you’re not home soon, Mom and Dad will start asking questions…”
Fox Glove sunk a little in his barstool. “Yeah, okay…”
The boys finished their tea, and Amber paid off their tab. They left the tea bar and made their way back to the Fillydelphia streets. It felt a little bitter since Amber had no way of knowing when they might get to see Fox Glove again, but they kept their spirits high.
They walked and joked together until they reached the street Amber’s family lived on, then Amber stopped them. “Okay, we don’t want Mom and Dad to see me, so I’ll leave you here.”
Fox Glove frowned at the ground. “Okay…”
“Hey now, none of that.” Amber wrapped a foreleg around his shoulder and gave him a noogie. “I’m dating Princess Luna now, so you know. I’m pretty much royalty. I’ll find some reason to come back.”
Fox Glove laughed and beat Amber back with his wings. “Okay, okay! I’ll see you soon then.”
“And hey, if you’re ever in Ponyville, come and find me,” Scootaloo said. He bumped hooves with Fox Glove. “Then I’ll get the other Crusaders together and we’ll really get to the bottom of your cutie mark!”
Fox Glove nodded. “Mom and Dad probably want me staying away from Ponyville since they don’t really like the royal family there, but I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Take care, Foxy,” Amber said.
“You too, Amber.” Fox Glove seemed uncertain, so Amber stepped forward to give him a real hug.
He hugged her back, took a deep breath, then walked to the house. Amber and Scootaloo waved him off, but they made their getaway before they ran the risk of Amber’s parents seeing them.
“Thanks for letting my brother tag along,” Amber said as they walked away.
“No sweat, he was cool.” Scootaloo wore a small smile. “You know, he’s the first pony who was ever introduced to me as a stallion. And he just… didn’t even question it.”
“Foxy’s great about all that stuff.”
“Maybe… maybe it means other ponies won’t care either.”
Amber frowned. They wanted to agree, but they couldn’t really manage to. “Look, Scoots. I don’t want to scare you out of this. The most important ponies already accept you, you’ve hit a major step and come out on top. But you know, ponies haven’t always liked me being how I am, even before the genderqueer stuff.”
“I know,” Scootaloo said sadly. “I’ve seen enough of Twilight, Fluttershy, and Sunset’s problems to know how ponies can be.”
Amber hesitated. They didn’t know how confident Scootaloo was in his decision by now, but they knew he seemed really happy about it. “Well, I think it’s good for you that you’re not a prince then. A lot of their problems are because they can’t just ignore the backwards ponies. Like I said when we started, I’m no expert on gender stuff. But one thing I know a lot about is living as a queer pony, and you can watch who you surround yourself with. Like the tailor and the tea bar today.”
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. And you’re right that the important ponies accept me already, so I know that no matter what comes, I’ll be okay.”
Amber smiled. “Good.”
“Thanks for taking me out today,” Scootaloo said a little bashfully. “It helped me feel a lot better about myself.”
Amber nodded as the pieces started to click into place. “You know what? I think it helped me too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” Amber laughed a little. “I bet Luna planned that all along. She’s always doing stuff like that.”
Scootaloo quirked his head to the side. “Like what?”
“I met with another genderqueer pony, right? Well, it was pretty cool. But… it was also a little overwhelming. They were so sure of themself, and I was so confused. I think… it’s a little easier hanging out with you, because we’re kinda on the same level.”
Scootaloo smirked. “Heh, that sounds like Princess Luna. That’s why I wrote to her, she always has the best ideas.”
“She had another one,” Amber said as they reached the station. Their train hadn’t arrived yet, so they took a seat.
“What do you mean?”
Amber had been unsure if they were going to go through with this plan or not. It was daunting, even more so than spending the day together had been.
But now that they had spent the day together, it wasn’t so daunting after all. In fact, Amber was looking forward to it.
“So you know Twilight and Fluttershy’s Unity program, of course.”
“Yeah, with the journals and stuff.”
Twilight and Fluttershy had initially started Unity to get gay ponies in touch with ponies who could support them. Since then, the goal had expanded to include other ponies in need, but their biggest use was still queer youth.
And now, that included Scootaloo. “Well, how would you like to be my penpal?” Amber asked with a smile. “I’m pretty good at it. I was penpals with a colt for a few years.”
“That… sounds awesome!” Scootaloo grinned, which spread to Amber. “It’d be great to have someone to talk to who gets all this stuff. Well, at least as much as I do.”
Amber nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking too. I think both of us could keep helping each other figure things out.” They smirked. “And hey, then I’ll get to tell you when Fox Glove gets a cutie mark of my face.”
Scootaloo laughed, then ended it with a content sigh. “This has been such a good day.”
Their train was pulling into the station, so they would have to leave shortly. But for the moment, Amber put their hoof on Scootaloo’s shoulder. “And you’ll have a lot more good ones to come. Trust me.”
Scootaloo nodded. “I do. Now let’s get back to Ponyville.”
Amber stood up and led them back to the train that would bring them back to all the ponies waiting to meet the new Scootaloo. The two of them would figure things out, even if they had to do it piece by piece.
⠀ In a flash of bravery, Scootaloo decided to keep his new suit on when he arrived in Ponyville. It had felt like a good idea on the train, but as soon as other ponies could see him, he started questioning if he was really ready for this.
Ponies were looking at him. Ponies were looking, and Scootaloo had no idea what they were thinking. Scootaloo had barely made it into the station, and ponies were already staring.
“Hey, relax.” Amber put a hoof on Scootaloo’s shoulder. Their train to Canterlot left soon, so they couldn’t go into town with Scootaloo, but they had a little while to say a proper goodbye at the station. “Promise nopony’s gonna come after you with pitchforks.”
“Yeah…”
“Just remember to breathe, and try to keep – hey, is that Rainbow Dash?”
“What!?” Scootaloo’s head jerked in the direction Amber was looking. Sure enough, Rainbow was flying towards them.
“Relax, you know Rainbow’s cool.”
Scootaloo nodded, but couldn’t keep the lump from his throat as Rainbow landed in front of him. This was it, it was time to find out if Rainbow was really as okay with Scootaloo as she said she was.
“Woah, looking good, Squirt!” Rainbow held out her hoof to bump Scootaloo’s. Scootaloo just blinked. “Come on, dude, don’t leave me hanging.”
A smile slowly crept across Scootaloo’s face and his jelly legs cooperated enough to bump hoofs with Rainbow.
“Yeah,” Scootaloo agreed, feeling a little embarrassed for being so worried about Rainbow.
“Everyone’s at your house,” Rainbow explained. “Holiday and Lofty invited us there to wait for you. What do you say we head over, and you can tell me all about Filly along the way?”
“Alright.” Before leaving, Scootaloo turned to Amber. “Thanks again for today, it was great!”
Amber grinned. “No problem. I had a blast too, you know.”
The two of them exchanged a quick hug, then Amber waved them off as Scootaloo and Rainbow went into town.
It wasn’t that ponies weren’t still looking at Scootaloo as they walked through town, but it wasn’t as bad. At worst, they looked curious, but not hostile. And besides, he was with Rainbow, and what she thought mattered a lot more than what anypony else did.
As they walked, Scootaloo told her about his day. He told her about Fox Glove and being introduced as a stallion for the first time, he told her about getting the suit and about Dazzle, he told her about the manecut, the tea bar, everything.
Rainbow was enthusiastic in her response, almost as much as if she had been the one who just had the most amazing day ever. For all the awkwardness she put Scootaloo through when she was trying to figure out how he felt, she was more than making up for it with how supportive she was now.
With Rainbow keeping Scootaloo company and being a willing ear for him to gush about his day to, the trip to Scootaloo’s house seemed to fly by. Before long, Scootaloo even stopped noticing any other ponies.
When they reached the house, Scootaloo reached to open the door, but he stopped short. Seeing what was on his mind immediately, Rainbow put her hoof on his. “Hey, they’re all here to show you how much they support you. It’s gonna be awesome.”
Scootaloo took a breath and smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go.”
He pushed the door open and walked inside. Within moments, he was surrounded by friends and family, all talking at once.
“Woah, nice suit!”
“What was Filly like?”
“Is that a new manecut?”
“Did you get enough to eat?”
“One at a time,” Scootaloo said. He walked through the crowd and took a seat, and he was immediately flanked by Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.
“I knew a suit was a good idea!” Apple Bloom said.
“Heh, yeah.” Scootaloo looked over his new suit. “Fits a lot better than Big Mac’s though.”
Apple Bloom sheepishly scratched at her neck. “Yeah…”
“And you got a new manecut to go with it!” Sweetie Belle pointed out. “Looking good, Scoots!”
“Thanks! You don’t think it’s too short?”
“Nah, it looks good,” Apple Bloom said. “You’re definitely looking like a stallion now.”
Auntie Lofty managed to squeeze past Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “So I’m guessing today helped you figure some things out then?”
Scootaloo nodded. “I… I’m still not completely sure, but…”
“That’s okay,” Aunt Holiday said. Scootaloo could barely see her head poking through the rest of the crowd. “You can take your time to figure it out.”
“Yeah, I know.” Scootaloo smiled and caught sight of his reflection in a window. “But I do want to try this out. I think I’m ready to, you know, try being more open around Ponyville too.”
“That’s great, Scoots!” Rainbow said. She was hovering so that even though she was behind the others, she was clearly visible. “And you know we’re here for you if we can help.”
“Yeah,” Spike said. He didn’t do anything to stand out from the others, but he didn’t have to. At sixteen, Spike was already taller than a pony, so he stood out above all the others just as much as Rainbow did.
Scootaloo searched his face for the answers that his one-word response hadn’t offered. What did he think of Scootaloo’s new appearance? On that note, what did he think of Scootaloo himself? He had more reason than the others to be against this change.
But Spike just wore his usual encouraging smile. Maybe Scootaloo was just overthinking things after all.
Apple Bloom seemed to take note that the two of them were staring at each other. She turned to Spike with a sly grin. “So Spike, whatchu think of your coltfriend?”
Spike blushed. “Oh, you know… I just want Scootaloo to be happy.”
It would have been better if Apple Bloom hadn’t drawn attention to the fact that Scootaloo was now Spike’s coltfriend, but since it was already brought out… “You’re not, like… weirded out or anything, are you?”
Spike shifted his position as all eyes fell on him. “Scoots, I just… I want you to be happy.”
That was the same thing he just said. Scootaloo frowned. “Spike…?”
“Hey,” Rainbow Dash said awkwardly while an overly big grin spread across her face. “I bet Scootaloo’s super tired from his big day. Maybe, uh, maybe we should get going?”
“Spike,” Scootaloo said with a frown. “Just… tell me whatever it is.”
Spike looked around in a panic, until his eyes eventually settled on the floor. “Let’s, uhm, go for a walk.”
That was bad. Scootaloo already knew what was coming. There was only one reason Spike would want to talk to him in private.
But he went along with it. What else was he going to do? Do this in front of everyone else? No, better to handle it in private.
So he just nodded and led them outside. No one said anything as they left – they all had to know what was happening just as well as Scootaloo did.
They only got as far as the back yard when Scootaloo stopped. He sighed and wouldn’t look at Spike. “So… you want to break up, huh?”
“I… I don’t want to,” Spike said, as if that was supposed to make it easier to take. “But… I’ve been thinking about it ever since you first came out to me, and…”
“And what?” Scootaloo’s voice came out much harsher than he intended.
Spike sighed and kept his voice soft. “I’m not gay, Scoots. I’m not attracted to stallions. The more you transition into something that makes you happy, the less… You know.”
“No, I don’t.” Scootaloo gritted his teeth and wheeled around to look at Spike. “Because you said you liked me, that you wanted to give us a chance because no matter what, I’m still me!”
“I know.” Why did Spike have to sound so damn hurt? Why couldn’t he just be a dick about things? “And I’m sorry. I just thought, you know… what if I had said I wasn’t okay with it when you first brought it up?”
“Then I could’ve done something different! I could’ve helped you figure things out, I could’ve –”
“You could’ve kept yourself from doing something you need to do to be happy,” Spike answered. He took a step towards Scootaloo. “I meant it when I said I support you and want you to be happy. Even if that means you becoming someone I can’t be with.”
“Shut up!” Scootaloo clenched his eyes shut. “Stop trying to be the good guy! You knew all along that this wouldn’t work, and you didn’t say anything!”
Spike looked away. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”
Scootaloo didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to say. After what had felt like a perfect day, the best coltfriend he ever had was breaking up with him.
“Scootaloo…”
“Just go away!” Scootaloo barked. He could feel tears forming, and that was the last thing he wanted.
“I… I’m sorry,” Spike said, sounding as hurt as Scootaloo felt. “I’m still here for –”
“Go! I don’t want to talk to you!”
Spike sighed. And then took a few steps away. “If you change your mind, come find me.”
Scootaloo was sure he wouldn’t. He waited as Spike left, then walked back to the house. He wasn’t looking forward to what was waiting inside, but there was no way around it.
As expected, everyone inside had worried looks on as Scootaloo entered the living room. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were, as usual, the first to his side.
“How’d it go?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Scootaloo sighed. “Well, I’m sure you know. I came back by myself.”
“I’m so sorry,” Apple Bloom said. “If I didn’t say anything…”
Scootaloo shook his head. “If this didn’t happen now, it would’ve still happened later.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Holiday asked.
Scootaloo shook his head again. “No, I think… I just want to lie down. I’m… really tired.”
No one tried to stop him as he walked to his room. He imagined the others would leave soon, no doubt the whole scene had become too awkward for anyone to want to hang around.
Whatever, they could do what they wanted. Scootaloo’s only concern was flopping face first on his bed and yelling into his pillow.
It wasn’t fair! Scootaloo didn’t ask for this! Spike was the best coltfriend he’d ever had, the two of them got along so well. And even though he didn’t do anything wrong, now it was all over.
Scootaloo punched his pillow. Then, because he had nothing else to do, he punched it again. Then he collapsed on his back and just stared at his ceiling.
It wasn’t fair. That’s the only thing he could think about the whole situation. It just wasn’t fair.
Scootaloo wasn’t sure how long he lay there, with just that one thought running through his head. Eventually, there was a knock on the door and Lofty’s voice called through. “Scootaloo?”
It wasn’t surprising that she wanted to talk, but there wasn’t anything Scootaloo wanted to say.
Holiday was the next to speak. It also wasn’t surprising that they were both there. “Will you open the door? We just want to talk.”
“Come on, Squirt,” Rainbow said. That was more surprising. Why was she still here? “Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom left, it’s just us.”
Scootaloo still didn’t answer. He didn’t have anything he wanted to say.
“Well… we’re here if you want to talk,” Holiday said.
Scootaloo just turned his back to the door. Maybe now they’d leave him alone.
Although Scootaloo hadn’t meant to go to sleep, he found himself waking up all the same. He blinked around his room, noticing how much darker it was. The sun had set, and the only light was moonlight from the window and a light coming in from under his door.
He rose and put a hoof to his head, which hurt. He probably needed to eat something, considering he hadn’t had anything since lunch in Fillydelphia. But not before he pulled off the tuxedo that he’d managed to fall asleep in.
Although he still wasn’t really ready to speak with anyone, he still got up and opened his door. Maybe he’d be lucky and his aunts would already be asleep.
But as Scootaloo made his way through the house, he quickly learned he would have no such luck. Both Holiday and Lofty were sitting in the living room, and they stared at Scootaloo, none of them seeming to know what to say.
It was Lofty that spoke first. “You hungry?”
It wasn’t the question Scootaloo had expected, but he was glad it was the question that was asked. “Uhm, yeah…”
Holiday got up and walked to the kitchen while Lofty remained seated. She offered Scootaloo a comforting smile, but she didn’t say anything to pry into what had happened.
“How about some grilled cheese and soup?” Holiday asked.
“That sounds good,” Scootaloo said. He knew the uncomfortable questions were coming, and part of him wished they would just get it over with. But then, grilled cheese sounded too good to question right about now.
While Holiday worked on the food, Lofty walked over to Scootaloo and placed a wing on him. “Feel any better after your nap?”
“Not really…”
Lofty nodded. “You will, in time.”
Right when Scootaloo expected questions, she let go of him and walked into the kitchen to help with dinner. Lofty loved baking, but she wasn’t much of a cook, so for her ‘helping’ meant she cut the grilled cheese in half and poured Scootaloo a glass of milk to go with his food.
Holiday finished up, placing a bowl of tomato soup in front of Scootaloo as he started on his sandwich. It was simple, but nice. Comfort food, he supposed. And although he expected questions, he was allowed to eat in peace.
He almost finished before it got to be too much for him. “Aren’t you going to ask about Spike?”
Lofty looked to Holiday, who smiled. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Well, no…”
“Then no, we’re not going to ask.”
“Besides,” Lofty said, “it wasn’t exactly hard to figure out what happened. Anything beyond that is your business if you want to talk about it.”
Scootaloo smiled. “Thanks.”
The meal helped, and at least his head stopped hurting as he ate. Afterwards, his aunts asked if he wanted to play a game, but he didn’t really feel up to it, so he just returned to his room.
He heard a familiar voice coming from it before he even opened the door. He quirked his head to the side, wondering what Rainbow was doing in his room.
When he opened the door, there was no one in sight. But Rainbow’s voice continued, coming from beside his bed. “Rainbow to Scootaloo. You there?”
Scootaloo collapsed on his bed and picked up the walkie talkie. He frowned, wondering if Rainbow was on the same page as his aunts about not asking any questions.
Well, he’d find out soon enough. Might as well get it over with. He pressed the button on the box and replied. “Scootaloo to Rainbow. I read you.”
“Finally, I’ve been trying to reach you on this thing for like ten minutes.”
“I was eating dinner. What’s up?”
“Oh, I just wanted to know if you want me to kick Spike’s butt for you.”
Scootaloo smiled a little. He knew Rainbow was joking; even aside from the fact that she wouldn’t pick a fight with a teenager, Spike was too close to Rainbow and her friends for anything more than a strong talking to.
“Not necessary,” Scootaloo said.
“So… are you two still cool at least?”
Scootaloo took a moment to respond. “I don’t really know. He said to come talk to him if I wanted to.”
“Do you want to?”
Another moment’s pause.
“You know, I don’t want to pry or anything, but… do you really want to lose a friend on top of everything else?”
Scootaloo frowned. “No.”
“Spike’s a good guy. You don’t have to run out and talk to him now or anything, but you know.”
“Yeah, I know, okay?” Scootaloo barked into the walkie talkie. It wasn’t fair to take out his frustration on Rainbow, but he didn’t care. Nothing else was fair anyway, why should he be? “I know it’s uncool of me to be mad at him, I know he also lost his marefriend and it’s not really his fault, I know all of that!”
It took a moment for Rainbow to reply. Maybe she wasn’t sure how to respond, maybe she was just waiting to make sure Scootaloo was done. Either way, it gave Scootaloo enough time to feel guilty for snapping at her.
When she did answer, Rainbow’s voice was soft. “I wasn’t going to say any of that. I was just saying, you know, Spike’s been a good friend for a lot longer than he’s been your coltfriend.”
Scootaloo just groaned without pressing the button.
“But you know, if those thoughts are in your head… You have to think they’re there for a reason.”
Scootaloo sighed and pressed the button so Rainbow could hear. “Do you think it was wrong of me to tell him to leave?”
“I… don’t know. I think sometimes things are more than right and wrong. You were hurt and you wanted to be alone, there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe you handled it okay, maybe you didn’t, but either way, I don’t think Spike blames you.”
“No, he wouldn’t,” Scootaloo said with a frown. Although he shouldn’t have snapped at Rainbow, saying it out loud made him realize how unfair this was for Spike too. “I should talk to him, huh?”
“That’s up to you, Squirt. But if it were me? I’d want to make sure there was no hard feelings.”
With one more resigned sigh, Scootaloo got out of bed. “Fine. I’m going.”
“Whoa, right now?”
“Might as well get it over with. It’s not gonna be any easier if I wait, you know?”
“Alright. I think you’re making the right call here, Squirt.”
“Yeah yeah. Thanks for the talk, Rainbow.”
“Any time! Just let me know if you need more of my awesome advice again.”
Scootaloo chuckled. “Will do. Scootaloo out.”
“Good luck! Rainbow out.”
Scootaloo replaced the walkie-talkie on his bedside table then walked out of the room. He stopped to tell his aunts where he’d be, and they each gave him a similar response to Rainbow Dash.
“Glad to hear it, Scoots,” Lofty said.
“We’re proud of you for being so big about this,” Holiday added.
Scootaloo rolled his eyes, and assured them he’d be back before it was too late. Then he went into the garage, grabbed his scooter, and dashed into the night.
He wasn’t the only one. As soon as he was outside, Rainbow was flying beside him. “Know what you’re gonna say yet?”
“Rainbow? What are you doing here?” As soon as he asked, Scootaloo realized it was a dumb question. The walkie-talkies had limited range, so of course Rainbow would’ve needed to be close by.
“I was just napping in that cloud up there before I called you.”
Scootaloo smiled. He didn’t need to ask to know that Rainbow had been napping there for a reason. “Thanks, Dash.”
“No problem. But seriously, wanna work on what you’ll say to him?”
Scootaloo thought for a moment as he took a turn. “Nah, I think I’ll be fine. This is Spike we’re talking about. What’s he gonna do? Yell at me?” Scootaloo sincerely hoped Spike wouldn’t yell at him.
Rainbow just laughed. “Yeah, you’re right.” She was quiet for a moment before she added, “And you know, no matter what, it’ll be okay. And, you know, I’m always here for you if you need me.”
Scootaloo smiled. “Thanks. You don’t need to worry about me, though. I’m tough, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Having Rainbow with him helped keep Scootaloo from worrying too much as he made his way to the castle. Every time his mind strayed too close to what was about to happen and how Spike would react to seeing him, Rainbow would say something to pull him out of his thoughts.
That only lasted until they reached the castle, of course. Once they were before it, it was up to Scootaloo to make the next step on his own.
But before that, Rainbow landed beside him and draped her wing across his back. “Hey, everything’s gonna be okay.”
Scootaloo nodded. She was just repeating the same thing she had said before, but he knew how hard it was for her to know what to say in situations like this. Besides, it was just what Scootaloo needed to hear.
“You ready?” Rainbow asked.
Scootaloo was anything but. Still, he nodded all the same. “Yeah. I got this.”
“Yeah, you do. Let me know how things go.” Rainbow flew into the air, first just hovering a bit above the ground so she could wave Scootaloo off, then flying into the night.
With one more deep breath, Scootaloo knocked on the door.
The problem with the castle was that it was particularly large, and all the bedrooms were upstairs. Scootaloo waited, hoping someone would come to the door, but no one did. After a few minutes of nerve-wracked waiting, Scootaloo pressed a button near the door.
A bell chime sounded from within the castle. It was unconventional to have a doorbell in a castle, but Twilight had grown fed up with how impractical knocking was for guests, so Sunset installed one for them. It was effective, but Scootaloo always felt guilty for using it since it sounded through the whole castle.
Still, at least it got someone’s attention. But unfortunately, that someone wasn’t Spike. Instead, his dad answered the door. “Hello, Scootaloo.”
It was obvious that Night Light was surprised to see Scootaloo. That brought forth a possibility that Scootaloo hadn’t counted on – Spike may not be the type to yell at Scootaloo for how he reacted, but what about his parents?
There was only one way to find out. Scootaloo put on an awkward smile and asked, “Is Spike home?”
Night Light stepped aside. “He’s up in his room. Have to say, we weren’t expecting to see you so soon.”
Scootaloo knew that could only be for one reason, but she couldn’t help but ask. “So… did he tell you about what happened today?”
“He did,” Night Light said simply, giving no indication what he thought of it. Their whole family were well-known supporters of queer rights, so it wasn’t like Scootaloo worried about that. But then, this time it affected one of their own…
But if he had any ill feelings towards Scootaloo, he kept them to himself. He simply stood aside and let Scootaloo walk into their household.
Scootaloo did so with his head hung low, afraid to look at Night Light in the eyes. He took a few steps before Night Light’s voice stopped him. “Scootaloo?”
Scootaloo winced. “Yeah?”
“He’s not angry with you, you know.”
Scootaloo blinked and looked up at Night Light. “He’s not?”
Night Light smiled. “To tell you the truth, he was afraid you were the one angry at him. He kept asking us if he did the right thing.”
That was just like Spike. Most teenagers would hate to talk to their parents about their first break up, but not Spike. He probably told them everything as soon as it happened, eager to get their advice.
He was just… just so good. It made Scootaloo’s heart hurt to know that’s what he was losing, his dorky coltfriend who would go running to his parents when he was upset because at sixteen, he still believed that they held all the answers.
“Go on,” Night Light said. “He’ll be happy to see you.”
Scootaloo just nodded, then left Night Light behind and climb the stairs to Spike’s room. He reached his hoof up to knock on the door, but stopped short. He closed his eyes and reminded himself that things would be okay, just like Rainbow said, and he knocked.
Spike’s footsteps sounded slow, and when he opened the door, he looked exhausted. Only for a moment, however, then he saw who was on the other side. Immediately his eyes went wide. “Scootaloo?”
“Uh, hi…” Scootaloo searched for something else to say, but nothing came to mind.
It seemed in that, they were perfectly matched. Spike stood in his doorway looking at Scootaloo as the pegasus could only look down at Spike’s feet.
It was Spike who spoke first. “I… I’m sorry. For earlier. And, well, I guess for everything else too.”
Scootaloo winced. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up at you.”
“But… today is a big day for you. Then I kinda ruined it…”
Scootaloo shook his head and looked up, willing himself not to cry. “No, you didn’t. It was still a good day.”
Spike stepped aside. “Do… you want to come in?”
Scootaloo didn’t answer, just walking into the bedroom instead. It was so familiar, and it hurt to know he wouldn’t be coming up here to snuggle with his coltfriend anymore.
He took a seat on Spike’s bed, Spike taking a seat beside him. There was more space between them than there would’ve been had they been sitting side by side even earlier that same day.
They sat in more awkward silence, neither of them knowing what to say. Scootaloo looked around and saw a comic, which made him frown. “I guess I should give you back all the comics I was borrowing, huh?”
“You don’t have to,” Spike said quickly. “But… I guess I understand if you don’t want them around anymore.”
“It’s not that, it’s just…” Scootaloo shook his head. What was it? Why were all his thoughts so jumbled. “Is it still okay to be friends? I mean, I want to stay friends, but I’ve never been friends with an… ex before.”
“I think it’s okay,” Spike said. “And you know, I still want to be friends with you.”
Scootaloo took a shaky breath.
“Scoots… I still really care about you, you know. I’ll always look out for you, as long as you want me to. I don’t know what else to call us if we’re not friends.”
Sure, but another word came to mind for Scootaloo. He missed this. It had only been a few hours, but he already missed his coltfriend.
“Spike?” he asked, afraid he wouldn’t be able to get even just the one word out.
“Yeah?”
Scootaloo forced a breath. “Is it… okay for guys to cry too?”
Slowly, Spike put his arm around Scootaloo, who fell into him as the tears started.
“Yeah,” Spike said softly as he stroked Scootaloo’s mane. A few tears fell into it as Spike began to cry as well. “Yeah, it is.”
