Twilight Sparkle wakes up one morning, to find she's living with her family and is a filly again. She's not in Canterlot but in Ponyville though, and that's just the beginning of the changes. Like her new school, and the identity of the Headmare...
Twilight Sparkle wakes up one morning, to find she's living with her family and is a filly again. She's not in Canterlot but in Ponyville though, and that's just the beginning of the changes. Like her new school, and the identity of the Headmare...
Chapter One: It's Fillyhood Twi, But Not As You Know It...
It all began one bright sunny morning in the merry olde town of Ponyville, as Twilight stirred from her long repose to stretch her hooves tiredly.
"Great, yet another day of marking papers, students ignoring me and cleaning up after Pinkie's party cannon to look forward to." She sighed in annoyance, wiping the thin sliver of sleep drool away from her jaw. "Spike, would you please kindly fetch me my slippers? And remember: I'll need two pairs, not one. I'm sick of my hind hooves getting cold on the way downstairs, and don't think I haven't noticed the clawmarks in the front of the slippers you 'accidentally' forgot about! Just because you burnt your own pair during that bout of sneezing you had last winter, it doesn't mean you can borrow..."
Twilight stopped mid-sentence. She blinked, took a quick stock of her surroundings, then herself. Something was wrong.
In fact, quite a few things were off. For starters, her voice seemed much more high-pitched than usual, almost like she hadn't gone through puberty yet.
Then there was the small fact she'd no idea where she was. Sure, the multitudes of books on the shelves and the wallcharts of magical formulae might indicate a place where she'd feel comfortable, but this most definitely was not her room, least of all the Castle Of Friendship. The structure was not nearly pointy or reflective enough for this to be the case.
Other 'small' things, like the complete absence of wings on her body, and the fact that everything seemed much bigger than before, were somewhat secondary to the main problem...
Spike was nowhere to be seen. That unfailingly loyal dragon had been there by her side on time first thing every morning since he'd hatched from an egg. Until today, that is.
"This is a dream. It's got to be a dream..." Twilight reasoned optimistically she was still in the land of nightmares, and maybe Luna would stroll by any second now to guide her out of it. "Let me put an end to this stupid fantasy once and for all. Here comes the pinch... ow."
As if her failed attempt at rousing herself wasn't painful enough, the following reaction seemed to spread beyond the meagre confines of this unfamiliar bedroom.
Whilst Twilight suckled on her sore spot trying to hold back the urge to cry(!), a light came on from just outside her door as a somewhat reassuringly recognisable figure burst in to lovingly embrace the bemused pony.
"Are you okay, my sweet little egghead?" Twilight Velvet tenderly kissed the forehead of her beloved daughter, and held her offspring securely in her hooves. "Did you wet the bed again? Don't worry about that, treasure. I was at least two years older than you are now, before my mother had to pack away the plastic sheets..."
"M-Mum!!" Despite finding herself in this indescribably odd situation, the smaller Twilight's first thought wasn't to ask just what the hay was going on, but to chastise her female parent for being so personal. "I did not need to know that! Besides, I was just a young filly when I stopped doing it! I'm all grown up now!"
"Well, no matter how old you get, you and your brother will always be our special little foals!" Night Light inevitably followed his wife into the room, as he observed his daughter with a wry smile a few yards away. "But seriously, don't try and grow up so fast, my darling. Even though you're so mature for your age, you still have a long time to wait 'til you become an adult, and me and Mummy intend to make the most of every second of it!"
"That's right squirt, because as long as you're so tiny, you'll never challenge me for the ultimate title of Sibling Supreme!" An eavesdropping Shining Armour poked his head around the corner too, winking amicably as he reminded his sister of his superiority. "In fact, I foresee a new contest any second now. It involves me eating my Celestia Flakes much faster than you, at the breakfast table in ten minutes flat! Be there, or be square! Oh, silly me: you already are a 'square'! Never mind, just get your rump downstairs as quick as you can... so I can kick it yet again! Buh-bye for now!"
Before a decidedly confused Twilight could ask any further questions... like, why her parents seemed so much younger, and whether her also de-aged brother had always been that obnoxious, they all left the room together (but not before Twilight Velvet had seen just cause to adoringly smooch the side of her daughter's cheek).
Hurriedly wiping the side of her face with a tiny hoof, Twilight noted the Starswirl The Bearded quilt cover with disdain, and also the neatly laid out homework on her adjacent desk which covered topics she'd mastered at least a decade and a half ago.
(The educational material there would be of college level difficulty for most other ponies... but who's counting?)
"What is going on around here?!" Twilight completely lost her cool at this point to yell out loud, as if trying to evoke her Royal Canterlot Voice there and then.
But all that emerged from her throat was the foalish tones of a filly.
A shivering, frightened filly at that.
......................................
"Yeah, I win by default! In your face, sis!!" Shining Armour mocked Twilight without mercy as she stumbled down the stairs, still trying to get accustomed to these minuscule hooves and her lack of feathery appendages. "I said ten minutes, and it's been more like... twenty-something! Usually you're up at the crack of dawn, so don't say my challenge was unfair! You're slipping, Twily!"
"Oh, don't pay any attention to your brother. He's just anxious about attending soldier training today, because they're going to be practicing with bayonets!" Night Light poked his head above the newspaper, to offer an explanation for his son's blatant rudeness. "In case you've forgotten, it's not exactly his area of expertise. Nearly skewered your instructor last time didn't you, my boy?"
"I sometimes wish you'd followed your sister's example, and stuck your head in those books instead of going for such a dangerous career." Twilight Velvet shook her head anxiously at Shining's future choice of lifestyle. "But I guess you've made your mind up, so me and your father will support you one hundred and ten percent. I've always considered you a natural born leader, anyway. Who knows, maybe one day you'll even be Captain Of The Guard..."
As fascinating as the day-to-day business of her family from days from gone by was though, Twilight kind of tuned out at this juncture. Her attempts at finding some solution upstairs to this unusual predicament had ended in failure, as every bedroom checked out where a happily married couple and a militaristic big brother might reside.
At least she was apparently old enough for her trademark cutie mark to have appeared. Crumbs of comfort, and all that.
Head-butting the wall repeatedly, and trying to cast a variety of spells to shed some light on the situation didn't seem to help much either. Maybe she was too young now to handle such advanced enchantments, or perhaps her unfamiliar voice now meant she was messing up some of the words.
Whatever. Her main concern now should be finding her best friends, and trying to discover what was behind this strange new world she'd woken into. As well as devise a swift way of escaping from it, of course.
"Are you okay, dear? Usually you're the first to correct me if I make an impossible maths equation, but you went dead quiet for a second." That was the sound of an anxious Twilight Velvet, as she trotted over from the kitchen-top to put a worried hoof around her meditative daughter's neck. "First of all, you act like you didn't even know us this morning. Then, you're the latest you've ever been getting to class. Now, you're letting me get away with absurd fractions, without even taking me to task? I'm a little concerned about you. Maybe, you should stay home today."
"That's not right! She's totally faking it!" Shining Armour stuck out his tongue, at what he considered to be his sister's unimpressive playacting. "I bet she's in the middle of another series of novels or something, and can't wait until after school is over to get to the last chapter!"
"Shining, since when has Twilight lied about anything, or even tried having a day off lessons?" This time Night Light put down all of his daily periodical, to glance at his son irritably. "Even when she had the mumps, she pretended her cheeks were puffed up because she was imitating the class hamster. Of course, when everypony else caught it at magic kindergarten, the truth was revealed. In any case, I think your mother may be right. Perhaps we should get Nurse Redheart in to give her the once-over, just to be on the safe side..."
Stay here today? I can't do that. I have to figure this out, and I can't do that while stuck in bed having my temperature taken. Still, a hot water bottle and a Daring-Do book sounds quite nice round about now... but, no. The quicker I solve this, the sooner I can return to my difficult marehood from my idyllic fillyhood. I don't want carefree days with my doting family at home! I want dangerous missions, a stableful of paperwork and the pressure of knowing I'm expected to take over Equestria in a few short months... hang on, when I put it like that...
Twilight's ongoing internal monologue came to a sudden end, when she realised how differently stacked the dual motions were between what she wanted to do and what her responsibilities were. A side-effect of whatever was causing this convincing illusion of course, designed to get her to give up and accept the delusion as reality so they'd win.
Not on her watch. "Listen everypony, this has been a fun trip down memory lane and everything, but I must find my real friends and work out what's happening. As soon as I've regained my wings and my title of Princess Of Friendship, I vow to come right down and see you in Canterlot, because it's been too long. And for your information 'big brother'... it's not you or me that holds the toy crown, it's actually both Spike and Luna, so get your facts straight! Well, see you later: I have a serious mystery to solve!"
So it was that Twilight, without waiting for a flicker of protest from her befuddled relations, decided to sprint straight out of the front door (trusting Ponyville residents always leave their houses unlocked, you see).
She left behind a trail of smoke, a bunch of small hoofprints and quite a few questions from those who witnessed her unexpected egress.
Okay, more than a few.
"Wings? Visit us in Canterlot? 'Princess Of Friendship'?! What on Equestria is that?" Twilight Velvet tried to make sense of her daughter's deranged ramblings, but failed miserably.
"Who the hay is 'Spike'? And what would Princess Luna want with a fake crown? She wears a real one every day, after all." Night Light was equally perplexed at his daughter's outburst, so much so that his dropped Ponyville Express got soaked by his porridge.
"Hmm, I'm beginning to see what you guys mean. She definitely is acting peculiar today." Shining Armour finally shed his somewhat arrogant demeanour, to act like the protective big brother he truly was. "Cadence didn't mention that anything was different about Twily yesterday before she left, did she? With neurosis as bad as that, it makes me wonder how she managed to get a scholarship alongside all those other creatures at the School Of Friendship in the first place..."
If Twilight was worried about this supposedly alternate universe being difficult to navigate around, she needn't have bothered.
After surreptiously dashing out of 'her' front door to explore the surrounding area, it turned out that the charming small town she fell asleep in last night was pretty much identical to the one she awoke bleary-eyed in that very morning.
Minus the age gap, loss of magical prowess and feathery adornments, of course.
There was one additional change from the previous day, and that was the unassuming two-storey home she'd just emerged from.
The modest thatched-roof cottage where her filly self currently resided with her family was certainly incomparable to her previous royal address, but it looked snug enough for ponies on a low-to-medium income.
It was conveniently positioned in the centre of Ponyville too, just adjacent to the market and around the corner from Sugarcube Corner.
Hmm, maybe I should start searching for clues there. Pinkie might be working today, and I might be able to get a snack... wait, this is no time to be indulging my sweet tooth...!
"Ahem!" The sound of some creature clearing their throat nearby caused a pensive Twilight's ears to twitch, and she broke out of her self-imposed stupor just in time to see none other than five of her most valued students from Friendship School approach her with vague concern.
Unlike her blood relatives in this new 'fake' world however, each one appeared to be not be a day older or younger than when she'd dismissed them from lessons the previous day.
Before Twilight could analyse this fascinating discovery to any greater degree and perhaps compare it with what she'd seen so far though, the quintet of creatures stepped forward to talk to her themselves.
"Should... we be concerned?" Always the outspoken one, Gallus was the first to speak amongst his peers. "We've been following you and calling out for the last five minutes, but you completely ignored us. Is anything the matter?"
"Even for smart pony, her 'Twilighting' right now is something Yona never seen before." The aforementioned yak giggled slightly at the filly's unresponsiveness. "Did pony skip breakfast again to reach class early? Yona not understand this. Healthy appetite lead to healthier appetite for study later!"
"Not all of us need ten bales of hay to get through first period you know, Yona." Smoulder grimaced slightly at her bovine friend, before turning her attention back to Twilight. "You said you'd help us cram for the big test later, remember? No-one can answer the questions as well as you. In fact, most of us lose points by writing our names in the wrong paragraph! Those grading systems are really harsh!"
"I know, right? All I did was transform into an octopus so I could finish my essay on Generosity faster, and I got an instant 'F'! An F!!" Ocellus wailed, with her head bowed in defeat. "There was nothing wrong with my work, but because I 'misused my special abilities' it was automatically ruled as cheating! How can I tell the other Changelings I... flunked?"
"There there, Ocellus... I'm sure everything will be alright: you'll see!" As chipper as ever, Silverstream did her best to comfort her despondent pal. "I'm absolutely positive that if our class president has a word with the headmare, she'll let you take it again! Isn't that right, Twi? Please say you will, poor Ocellus has been fretting about this ever since we met up this morning. She even turned into a cat at one point... a cat with the saddest face I've ever seen!"
"N-Now just hold on, every creature..." Feeling a bit overwhelmed at this juncture, Twilight slowly began backing away from the eager faces around her. "Before I help any of you out with anything, I have a few questions of my own. Like, for example: where I am, how did I end up here, how do I escape... and where on Equestria is Sandbar? Usually, you six are completely inseparable!"
Looks of total confusion and utter bewilderment greeted Twilight's honest queries, and after exchanging apprehensive glances the five students suddenly entered an impromptu huddle inside which there was no possible intrusion.
Certainly not for a little filly the size of Twilight anyway, no matter how hard she tried to tried to squeeze her way in or jump over the assorted hooves, paws and claws. (She could've easily used magic to pry open the unwelcoming throng of course, but that would've just been plain rude.)
As it was, all she caught from the private session was a few snatches of isolated dialogue...and they didn't exactly manage to fill her full of confidence about the situation. "Poor thing..." "Working so hard it's fried her brain..." "I knew we'd pushed her too much..." "Maybe take her to Nurse Starlight's office...?" "Yona like being so close to friends, can do this more often...?" "Now she's even imagining creatures, just who the heck is 'Sandbar' supposed to be...?" "I don't know, maybe a character from one of her books...?" "It's tragic, truly tragic when somepony loses their mind like this. Just like what happened with my elderly mother..."
"W-Wait a second. Do you mean to tell me... Sandbar doesn't exist in this timeline?!" Twilight shrieking statement led to the suspension of the gathering, along with attracting a few funny looks from bemused passers-by. "Just what kind of crazy mixed-up place is this? Hey... if the one causing this to happen is listening, I insist you stop this right now! Give me back my friends! Give me back my life! Give me back... S-Spike..."
Having little experience of dealing with sobbing equines on the verge of a nervous breakdown, the other creatures present looked nervously at each other, unsure what their next course of action should be.
Eventually, it was Silverstream who fluttered forward, albeit hesitantly. As the most empathic of the quintet, it pained her to see anyone in such obvious distress. If she could help the stricken filly in front of her, she'd pull out all the stops to do it...
...Even if it meant talking like an idiot to achieve this worthy goal.
"H-Hello, there. Nice to meetcha. Your name is Twilight Sparkle. I'm Silverstream, and these are Yona, Ocellus, Smoulder and Gallus. We've been your besties since the College opened around a year ago, when you moved there from Ponyville Elementary. There is no 'Sandbar' or 'Spike', nor has there ever been. Unless, you're talking about a teddy bear or something, which is totally cool! Weird names, but who am I to judge..."
After a promising start, Silverstream had began to get lost in one of her trademark tangents, but Twilight had already heard enough.
Let's just be diplomatic and say, the hippogriff's laudable attempt at a 'pep talk' didn't exactly have the desired effect.
In fact, it made the whole sorry predicament roughly ten times worse. "You mean to tell me... not only have I lost my dragon, my crown and my livelihood... I'm expected to take the place of Sandbar to be the token pony in your friend group, at the School Of Friendship I founded?! T-This... this is too much! I'm galloping down there right now to get to the bottom of this! But before I go, Ocellus: don't let anypony make you ashamed of who you are! I don't know who this alleged 'headmare' is, but she sounds almost as bad as Neighsay was! Anyway, must dash... and no offence, but the next time I see you all, I want you to be the ones looking up at me! Bye for now!"
So it was for the second occasion that day, Twilight left a group of nonplussed acquaintances choking on her dust as she unerringly made her way to the big building on the horizon, otherwise known by her as The School Of Friendship.
"W-What was that all about?" Silverstream wasn't sure what tasted worse: sand in her beak, or the taste of failure.
"I don't know, but we'll get the blame somehow." Smoulder rolled her eyes, accompanying it with a long sigh.
"Yona not care about trouble! Yona want to help friend feel better!" The concerned yak stamped her hoof on the ground in determination.
"For such a smart pony, she sure acts screwy sometimes." A notably less sympathetic Gallus remarked, shaking his head with perplexment.
"Whatever junk Twilight's going through right now, she's still our friend and she needs us now more than ever!" Ocellus tried issuing a rally cry to the 'troops'. "She'd do the same for any of us, so enough talking and let's get after her! Besides, if we don't hurry up then we're going to miss Professor Fluttershy's Selfishness seminar. And I'm really finding it tough to think about others less..."
With that stirring speech, there was no further hesitation or argument from those assembled. With a series of clearly meaningful nods and expressions, each youngster took to the sky to pursue their 'deranged' friend and hopefully bring her back to cold, hard reality...
...With one obvious exception.
"H-Hey, wait for Yona..." The earthbound yak protested, before glancing a dark figure staring suspiciously in her peripheral vision. "Huh? Who there?"
But by the time the panting yak had rotated her muscular neck to get a clearer view, the mysterious individual had already vanished.
"Huh. Must just be Yona imagination. Should not eat so much in morning. Does funny things to head." The thoughtful yak commented without much medical evidence, as she ran headlong (more like amiably trotted) to catch up with her airborne buddies.
Chapter Three: First Days At School Are Always Tough
Unaware of the consternation her sudden episode was having on her dear school friends, Twilight's headlong dash for the school continued on unabated.
Anypony on her path who deigned assist the visibly agitated filly was swiftly left behind in a cloud of smoke. The undaunted youngster had already reached the conclusion that any further explanation of her unique situation would further define her as coo-coo crazy...
...And it would almost certainly be impossible to reach the truth of this mockery, if she was stuck in a padded cell. Of course I'm speaking rhetorically, they'd never do that to anycreature my age, apart from Cozy Glow, but that was a special case...
"Ow, my brain!" Twilight cursed herself, realising she needed to focus on the here and now instead of overanalysing all possible actions and consequences. "I haven't changed at all since foalhood, have I? Freaking out over every little thing, even circumstances I have no control over. Maybe if I'd got some therapy when I was still this age, I wouldn't have grown up with my neuroses in hyperdrive half the time. Well, not much I can do about that now. All I have to do is climb over this hill, and then..."
What Twilight Sparkle referred to was the location of her old School Of Friendship, at least where it should be. In this crazy alternate dimension, who's to say what happened to it? She reasoned, not without justification.
And on that front at least, there was some good and bad news.
The positive part was the fact that the school seemed more-or-less untouched by the shifted timeline. It was still painted her favourite purplish colour, every room was the same size and even the four waterfalls dutifully filled the nearby stream with crystal-clear water.
The bad stuff? Well, that mostly affected the unicorn's ego. Her six-pronged cutie mark motif no longer proudly hung from the front, which was to be expected as she naturally was no longer in charge.
I'd sure like to meet who is though, maybe then I'll get some answers...Twilight frowned, less at the loss of personal prestige and more regarding whatever could've been responsible for this travesty. Judging by what Ocellus told me, the new headmare doesn't sound very interested in Friendship. I just hope she hasn't corrupted the rest of my friends with her beliefs, if they're still teachers here that is...
Once again, the sheer number of queries which ran like wild horses through the prodigious filly's mind threatened to overwhelm her, so in an uncharacteristic display of impulse she decided to just trot inside and see what was up.
"I sure miss wings round about now, these hooves get tired much too easily." Twilight noted to herself, whilst passing a few other ponies her size en route to the entrance. One of them looked back oddly at her, which bought a sudden realisation to mind. "Oops, maybe I should stop saying things like that aloud: I don't want to be the social wallflower I was during my first educational stint, do I? No wonder my family and students treated me so strangely when we first met. Maybe I should play along, just for now, until I know more a-about..." gasp.
If Twilight wanted something to distract her ailing brain from the current confusion, then she certainly got it upon entering the building. As normal as the exterior of the structure seemed, the interior had been completely transformed.
And the reason it could be referred to as a 'building' or 'structure' now is because it was no longer the 'School Of Friendship'. Indeed, a giant plaque hanging above the wall clearly unveiled it as the 'College Of Change'.
But before Twilight could ponder the pure ridiculousness of that name (for starters, weren't the children who attended here too young for college?) another very jarring element of this new-look establishment begged her attention.
Namely, the many busts and portraits of a certain former Changeling Queen scattered everywhere. In each carefully posed piece of artwork, she looked more and menacing: as if the first finished article was just a warm-up for her to outdo her intimidation in every subsequent attempt.
W-Wow. It's amazing the pupils here can get any work done at all, this is like one of those horror comics Spike can never finish... Twilight flinched a bit at being reminded of the absence of her special little guy, before returning to the present. Now lets read some of these inscriptions... 'Our Beloved Principal', 'Our All-Conquering Mistress', 'Our Fearless Leader'... yep, I think it's safe you say I now know who's the boss here. I couldn't disapprove of the choice more, and judging by way she introduces herself, she's got her priorities all wrong too.
Thinking that an utterly chaotic educational system run by Discord would still be more beneficial than the despotic Changeling's, Twilight's fears were further escalated by the surfeit of so-called 'motivational' posters scattered around: 'WAR IS PEACE!' 'FREEDOM IS SLAVERY! 'IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH!' they screamed, amongst other such heartwarming adages.
The more she gazed around dumbfounded, the worst she felt. The awful new name. The grotesque art. The abominable phrases. Then, something snapped.
"T-this is an outrage!!" Twilight gasped, forgetting her earlier vow to keep quiet in compete shock at what she witnessed. "What has happened to my wonderful school? When I find out who's responsible for bringing this parody of friendship into existence, I'm gonna... mmmmm"
"Shhh, Twi. Pipe down, or we'll all end up locked in the closet together again as punishment. And as I recall, this was just before Yona wanted to use the bathroom. So it was not a pleasant experience..." Without warning, the unicorn was grabbed and smuggled behind a golden sculpture of Chrysalis by an irate Smoulder, who'd finally caught up with her along with the rest of the gang.
"Hey! Dragon watch tongue! Yona was strong in holding bladder 'til out of tiny dark room, so what Smoulder complain about?" The yak was most disgruntled at what she regarded as an untrue slur.
"What he's 'complaining' about is that in doing that, you hopped around so much we were nearly all crushed to death!" Ocellus reminded her hairy chum of their friend group's almost-flattening by her considerable bulk.
"Look, this arguing isn't getting us anywhere! How are we gonna 'fix' Twilight this time? It was bad enough when she obsessed over making lists for her lists, but now she's acting certifiably insane!" Gallus was not known for sugarcoating his thoughts, and he blunt assessment of the unicorn's mental state was clear.
"Ooh, I know! I know!! Let's go see Nurse Starlight! She helped me that time I caught my wing in my desk. I don't know how she is as a psychiatrist, But it's worth a try... right?" Silverstream put her hoof up eagerly, even though her enthusiasm for the plan was slightly less than her beaming face would suggest.
Besides, nocreature there had any better idea how to handle this tricky matter, so all present agreed this was in all likelihood the option that had the most realistic chance of success. Both for Twilight's sake, and their's regarding The Big Test due at the end of the week.
Because obviously, without the unicorn's nerdy noggin to help them cram for it, their prospects of passing were something between 'slim' and 'nil'.
In the end, Twilight put up little resistance in being frogmarched to a small office further down the hall (with a lovingly mounted 'I'm here to heal' sign on the door, in contrast to the dire warnings elsewhere). This was because she was currently dwelling on two words she'd heard, that put everything else for now in the shade.
“Knock, knock!” Silverstream helpfully filled in the sound effects, as she rapped on ‘Nurse’ Starlight’s office door. “We have a patient for you!”
A grunt of surprise and the sound of something falling down could be heard from inside, and the small party (minus a still-pensive Twilight) looked at each other with worry, as if reevaluating whether this was a good idea or not.
The occupant inside to her credit seemed to recover quickly though, and opened up less than a minute later brandishing a wide grin. It was Starlight alright, with her brushed manestyle looking like it did during her time in ‘Our Town’, instead of her more recent revamp after settling in Ponyville. She held a mug of something steaming in her hoof, and to blink momentarily in surprise at having such a large group visit her so early.
“Oh look, the gangs all here!!” Starlight chortled nervously, with the same unflappable confidence of a nerd trying to hang with the Cool Kids. “So, what brings you to my neck of the woods today? Has Ms Chrysalis been shouting at Yona to lose weight again? I keep telling her that most of it is natural yak muscle, but she never listens…”
“For once, no it isn’t. And don’t worry, we know the Principal’s just jealous because all the holes in her body make her much lighter than any other adult her size.” Gallus smirked at his joke, and the others in the group (sans Twilight) chuckled quietly, as if the consequences for being overheard would be dire indeed. “No, we fear our friend Twilight’s anxious egghead is about to crack. Or at least, fry itself into an indigestible messy omelette.”
“W-What was that, Gallus? You know I can’t get my head around some of your more… unique expressions.” Starlight looked confused at the griffon’s analogy, before adding in a more whispered tone. “Also, I’ve warned you before about insulting our ‘Beloved’ Leader. I-I mean, you have to learn to bite your tongue, like I do. Repeatedly.”
“Yona get confused by some of what friend Gallus say too, but what she think he means is: Pony’s brain is broken.” The buoyant yak thought she’d got it all figured out, and pointed at Twilight’s head with an assured hoof. “Twilight going on about non-existent creatures, calling college by wrong name, saying she some kind of Princess…”
“Yeah, that’s how it is, Doc. She’s lost her marbles, maybe for good this time. Can you help her? Preferably, before the big test later. Not that the two are connected in any way...” Smoulder discovered her aptitude for empathy as she shrugged her shoulders at Twilight’s plight.
“Smoulder!! I’m surprised at you! We do not describe individuals with complex mental health issues in such a derogatory manner! So, please leave the diagnosis to me!” Starlight frowned at Smoulder’s less-than politically correct language, before levitating a pair of super-size spectacles on her eyes which almost encompassed her entire face. “I believe that this meeting should be conducted in an oasis of calm, free from the distractions of outside influences. Otherwise, my proven methods might not be effective in deriving the root cause of this alleged psychosis.”
“E-Er… come again?” Now it was the paid professional who wasn’t making a whole lot of sense, and Ocellus wasn’t afraid to ask in repeating her confusing words.
“It means… I’m going to talk to Miss Sparkle on her own if it’s all the same to you five, and no listening at the door like before. I’ve recently enchanted the frame so I’m instantly notified if you try that trick again. You hear me?” Starlight suddenly stepped forward to take a contemplative Twilight by the hoof and guide her inside. “I’ll send her straight back to class when I’m finished. Please notify Professor Pie that her Misery class is going to be absent one pupil today. Thank you for bringing her here, and goodbye for now.”
The door was unceremoniously slammed in the quintet’s faces then, amid varying reactions to what they’d just heard and the threat that’d just been imposed.
“So anyway, shall we chance it and find out what’s going on with Twi?” Gallus was all for eavesdropping, regardless of any purported dangers.
“No way! Yona go back to lesson now. Want no trouble. Just follow rules without question, and everything fine. Like college motto says.” The yak turned around and shuffled off in the opposite direction.
“I’m not saying I’m not interested, but if my parents ever found out… it’s not worth the risk. They might send me back to the sea forever!” Silverstream couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from her dear friends, and followed Yona away.
“Yeah, I’m gonna agree with those two. One more black mark on my record, and the Principal will really let me have it. I’m beginning to think she doesn’t like me…” Ocellus shivered at the prospect, before joining her other two pals in retreat.
“Gee, what a bunch of yellow-bellies. At least you and me are made of stronger stuff right, Smoulder? S-Smoulder?”
If there was anycreature Gallus thought he could rely on, it was the almost equally abrasive dragon. But in a complete break from the norm, Smoulder was also among those drifting away from Nurse Starlight’s room: in fact, she was near the front of the queue.
“Sorry, Gallus. In case you haven’t noticed, I have kind of a ‘yellow belly’ too. Plus, if Dragon Lord Garble found out I did something like this, I’d end up imprisoned in disgrace inside the same hellhole as Ember. And I don’t even want to think about that. If you’ve got any sense, you’ll come with us. You know how close King Guto and the Principal are…”
Oo-er, I never thought about that… Gallus let out an audible gulp, but if asked later, he’d simply claim it was gas caused by the cheap food there. “I-I guess you have a point. It’s not like this is the first time Twi’s been there for the same problem, and they just about managed to fix her before. Also, just because the nurse has just been through a messy breakup, it doesn’t mean she’ll be any less good at doing her job…”
“Wait. Yona not know this news.” The yak was abruptly stopped in her tracks by the news, and her other friends followed suit with looks of consternation and concern.
“You don’t? It’s been all over Griffonstone. I suppose compared to other species, griffons are much more likely to be gossip-mongers. Especially when it comes to others suffering. This is why I’m gonna get top marks in Professor Pie’s class today! Anyway, it all started when Sunburst, her ‘special somepony’, announced he was in love with elite showmare Trixie. Who was also Miss Glimmer’s best friend! But wait, you haven’t heard the best part…”
And as Gallus kept the others rapt with attention on the journey to the classroom with a stirring tale of broken hearts and betrayal, the same darkened figure that Yona thought she’d spotted earlier swept in from the shadows to listen in at the nurse’s door without hesitation.
After all, no measly amateurish enchantment was going to stop them from fulfilling their mission.
A few moments after being ushered into the tiny office of filly Twilight’s now much older one-time student Starlight, she finally snapped out of her self-imposed stupor to gaze in wonderment at her dingy surroundings.
“T-This…” she began stammering in the new high-pitched voice she’d learned to despise.
“Hmm? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten the interior decoration of my little oasis of calm too, alongside everything else your friends told me about!” An increasingly concerned Starlight stopped trotting to her seat to glance back at her gobsmacked ‘patient’. “Well, I might’ve taken down a few personal items of late… maybe a few pictures are missing from my desk as well. But still, those kind of minor differences shouldn’t provoke this level of confusion apparent from your glazed expression…”
As Starlight continued to ramble on instead of committing her long train of consciousness to paper (a bad habit of hers), Twilight continued to scan around the desolate room in shock, a mixture of sadness and pity intermingling together in her already overloaded brain.
Where’s Starlight’s motivational posters gone? Her filing cabinets? Her favorite books?! This pathetic excuse for an office looks more like a squatter’s paradise! The desk has a major infestation of woodworm! Her chair only has three legs! The carpet is torn and ragged round the edges! The wall is in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint! At least she has a basic drink dispenser in the corner, but even that looks archaic! H-How can anypony treat one of the most hardworking and loyal mares I’ve ever met like... "Mmmmm?"
“Open wide, there’s a good filly!” Twilight’s silent observations were cut short by Starlight levitating something pointed and glassy into her widened mouth, and holding it there via magic for a few seconds. “Hmm, you don’t appear to be running a temperature. No sign of any cranial trauma, either. Tell me, Twilight: have you been studying too hard again, for the sake of helping your friends? While your attempts to make sure everycreature passes the upcoming exam may be laudable, if it’s at the expense of your sanity, I really don’t think…”
“Can you just… give me a bit of time and space to think, please?” Twilight finally snapped, as each new terrible revelation had finally taken its toll on her ability to keep a level head. “All everycreature has done since I got here is talk at me. I’ve barely had a few seconds to take it all in! I’m not exactly enjoying the experience of having to relive my fillyhood again, either. I thought I’d finally closed, locked and barricaded the door on that sorry chapter of my life, but no. It’s even worse this time around too, because I get to witness the complete destruction of everything I helped create firsthoof! I-It’s not fair. I-It’s just… cruel.”
A predictably mollified Starlight was about to ask Twilight what the hay she was talking about, as this incredibly convoluted delusion seemed a world away even from the stark fantasies the precocious child had imagined in the past. But as a few stray tears began rolling down the lavender filly’s cheeks, Starlight remembered her first duty as school physician: to comfort and console.
So that’s exactly what she did.
“There, there…” Starlight delicately dabbed a sniffling Twilight’s sodden face with a floating tissue. “I’ve had some pretty awful times myself lately, and honestly I was this close to quitting the job. But I quickly realised: sitting around the couch all day drowning my sorrows in triple-choc mint ice cream isn’t going to help the hordes of youngsters who need medical aid here. How could I be so selfish? If any place needed somepony to provide a counterpoint to what goes on there, it’s the ‘College Of Change’, But obviously, you already know all about that anyway, so why am I wasting my… ooohhh.”
Twilight’s frantic nodding was enough of a clue to inform Starlight that no actually, she wasn’t party to the horrors that occurred conveniently just out of eyeshot every single day. Maybe she’s such a good student that Principal Chrysalis spares her the worst punishments as long as her grades remain high… no wonder she wants to keep the rest of her group safe by making sure they pass the big test. So it’s not just about academic excellence for them… I think I understand the situation more now.
Starlight’s appreciation for Twilight’s maturity rose another notch, despite the older unicorn’s misreading of their mutual communication. At least the grown-up’s respect for her younger charge might make her listen to what would generally be regarded by the inhabitants of this new reality as an over-imaginative child’s random ramblings.
Twilight was quick to spot the opportunity, and went in with all horns blazing. It was now or never; an easy choice between gaining an ally in this alternate world she’d rudely awoken into, or be forced to take on this new role as a distinctly unroyal attendee of a nightmare school. Her former besties as her teachers, her old pupils as classmates…
And never seeing Sandbar and S-Spike again, because they don’t exist here. I can cope with a lot of bad stuff, but wiping out the lives of two children just like that? Compared to my own disorientation, such a tragedy renders my own plight completely redundant. Which is why, whatever the risk of sounding crazy, I have to try getting Starlight to hear me out. Right now.
“Starlight?” The spoken tone from Twilight was as clear as a bell, stripped bare of all the uncertainty from before. She gazed up at a still ponderous Starlight with clear agency, a fact the attentive older pony quickly picked up on.
“It’s ‘Miss Glimmer’ usually from the students, dear. But, yes?” Despite her admiration for Twilight’s alleged protection of her friends during the upcoming exam, proper protocol was still very important for the strict senior unicorn.
...And it could’ve been ‘Mrs Glimmer’ one day, if that conceited liar of a showmare hadn’t betrayed my trust to slink off with my former beloved to her trailer between gigs…
“I’m ready.” Twilight’s firm words attempted to pierce Starlight’s vengeful thoughts.
“Sorry, Twilight. I hear you. Ready for what?” Attempting to balance one’s personal and professional lives, particularly when the former was so tempestuous, is no small feat. But it was something a rattled Starlight was determined to do.
“Tell you what happened to me. Please listen to me very carefully, and don’t interrupt until I’ve finished what I need to say. What you’re about to hear might sound outlandish, impossible even. But every word is the truth… and in order to set things right, as well as probably save at least two lives, I’m going to need all the help I can get. Especially with me being stuck in this… diminished form as I currently am.”
“Wait. Let me stop you right there. You mean to tell me… creatures lives are at stake here?! It sounds like you need to inform me about everything, Twilight. Right now.” What Starlight had initially thought was a simple care of psychological distress was quickly turning into a serious matter way above the nurse-turned-temporary-counsellor’s meagre pay grade.
But, as Starlight had more-or-less ascertained from numerous previous meetings, Twilight Sparkle didn’t tell many fibs and if there was any substance to what her charge was saying then clearly she was duty-bound to absorb every word.
“O-Okay, then.” Twilight gulped audibly as she wondered where to begin. “For a start, where I come from, we’re nearly the same age. In fact, I might even be a year or two older than you…”
As the now junior Twilight Sparkle revealed more and more explosive details of this alternative timeline she hailed from, Nurse Starlight’s expression began growing graver and graver.
On more than one occasion, the agitated older pony had to halt Twilight mid-flow whilst she replenished her black coffee supply. The ancient contraption that distilled said beverages seemed to take an eternity just to fill half a mug, which irritated the already impatient filly still further.
The more pointless distractions there are in this reality, the longer it’ll take me to return to where I belong. Twilight reasoned in her head, frowning as she watched Starlight bash the barely working machine repeatedly just to get an extra drop. Celestia knows what’s going on there in my absence. If some ruthless evildoer went to this much trouble to get me out of the picture, then I dread to think what their plans are for the rest of Equestria…
“I’m bbaacckk!” Starlight chimed somewhat unnecessarily, drink in one forehoof and sucking on the other limb which she’d use to pound the antique dispenser into submission. “Now then, where were we? You were saying something about being a princess?”
“Yes, that’s right… the ‘Princess Of Friendship’! I was selected for the task by Celestia herself, transforming into an alicorn during the process. It’s my job to not only make sure everycreature lives in perfect harmony with each other, but also defend the world whenever someone threatens it. And believe me, more than a few have tried over the years! But then of course I came here, and saw that one of the worst adversaries I’ve ever fought is in charge of the school I founded! The irony would almost be funny, if it wasn’t so desperately tragic…”
“Uh huh, uh huh.” Starlight had been quaffing caffeine like a fish, and was already down to the dregs of her last refill. “A-and if I heard you right, my boss in what you call ‘this fake’ Ponyville tried to kill me in your ‘real’ one?”
“That’s right!” Twilight confirmed, grateful that this Starlight seemed as good a listener as the dear friend she left back home. “Principa… I mean, Queen Chrysalis was offered a chance at redemption by you after her latest failed attempt to take over Equestria, but she threw it back in your face before flying off. She might even be behind this latest plot to sideline me: it’s something I’ll have to look into before I decide on my next move.”
“R-Right. Well, I guess she can be a little hard to deal with sometimes, some would even say ‘unconscionably evil’.” Starlight had finished the last of a dozen coffees she’d consumed in quick succession over the last thirty minutes, but was loath to fetch more less her ailing bladder explode. “But even so: murder me in cold blood? That seems a little OTT, even for her. And this comes from somepony who had to run and duck for cover because I made a simple request for a plant pot…”
“Well, it’s true. And get this… where I’m from, I’m the headmare here. Not that erroneous imposter!” Twilight was doing what she was prone to when she got very cross, and that was break out the advanced vocabulary. “It’s heresy! Treason! How dare I be put in this untenable position! I earned those wings, that crown and the headship of this school! By school, I mean ‘School Of Friendship’, not the intolerable farce which is ‘the ‘College Of Change!”
“Yep. From your point of view, it must be very frustrating.” Starlight had settled down a little, and was now frantically scribbling something on her notepad as if her life depended on it. “So apart from being royalty and the colleg… sorry, school’s main proprietor in this other place, you mentioned something about the staff here being your best friends.”
“Oh, yes. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity. A pony couldn’t ask for five more stalwart companions. W-Well, there was Spike too, but as I already mentioned…”
“...He doesn’t exist in this reality. I got it.” Starlight pointed to the dragon’s first name on her paper, helpfully capitalised with an exclamation mark for added emphasis. “Also erm, what was the other missing pony’s name again? ‘Sandwich’?”
“No, Sandbar!” Twilight growled in annoyance, not just at the miscommunication but also because Starlight’s slip had reminded the filly of her own empty tummy. Maybe skipping breakfast earlier wasn’t such a good idea after all. “The earth pony who’s supposed to be in my new classmates’ friend group had been replaced by me! I tell you… if I wasn’t living this story right now, I’d shelve it permanently for being too far-fetched! And, as arguably the nation’s premiere bookworm, you know that’s a big statement!”
“Hang on. Let me just finish recording all this for posterity…” Starlight struggled to make her writing legible with all the sweat pouring down her brow, staining and blurring the ink in the process. “Most fascinating. Do you know of any other differences that might exist between your ‘world’, and ours?”
“I don’t know. I only just got here. I don’t think it’s really important, anyway. I just want to go home.” An older Twilight might’ve been more intrigued, but the younger model wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. “So, do you think you can help me? I mean, much as I’d love to do something for the inhabitants of this reality, the sad truth is it’s probably just a made-up fantasy. I apologise for breaking it to you like this...”
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Starlight didn’t seem particularly perturbed to discover her entire existence was just an illusion, and stopped scrawling long enough to proffer a sympathetic hoof to Twilight’s shoulder. “What matters is that you feel this is a safe space to fully express yourself, without fear or regret. I can see that you totally believe what you’re saying, and that’s all we need to focus on at this stage.”
“What??” Twilight was slightly taken aback by Starlight’s flowery language, but didn’t have the time to analyse it in any great depth. After all, time was of the essence here. “I think you misheard me. What I was asking was if you could help me get in touch with somecreature powerful enough to help me. I would try to find out what’s going on myself, but with my limited magical ability right now it’s just not an option. Also, in this crazy mixed-up universe, I don’t know who to look for, let alone locate….”
“Say no more, Twilight. I know exactly what you need now, and I swear on my nursing diploma you’ll get the help you require by the end of the day.” Starlight said those words with complete sincerity, but there seemed to be something nagging her. “Before you go though, I have to ask: what’s the Starlight Glimmer in your ‘world’ like? In all the time you spent explaining everything, I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t mention me a lot.”
“O-Oh.” Twilight did this on purpose to spare the curious mare’s feelings, but being as she was being asked directly… “Are you sure you want to know? It’s not exactly pleasant.”
“I’m a big mare, I can take it. Please, enlighten me.”
“Well, okay then. There was the time you manipulated an entire village into giving up their Cutie Marks due to a misguided interpretation of ‘equality’…”
“I see. Do go on.”
“Then, you tried to erase my existence through the ‘wonders’ of time travel. Almost destroying the world in the process, might I add.”
“Wow. With those crimes on my track record, I’m surprised you spoke so cordially when you met me here for the first time.”
“Oh, don’t worry! You got much better later on, reforming yourself to become my personal student and a much-cherished friend! I was the one who gave you the job of counsellor here, too.”
“Hmm. I’m actually more of a nurse, but at least one facet of the two realities is the same. Sort of. Can’t say I care much for the other stuff you told me, though. Especially the ‘world destruction’ part. I mean, I’ve had my off days before, but I’d never even considered doing anything like that. Punching a pillow maybe, but that…”
“S-So, anyway. I better go and see how the rest of ‘the gang’ outside are doing. I won’t tell anycreature about what we discussed, as it would probably just confuse and disturb them needlessly.” Twilight felt that she’d said enough to make her point, and slowly backed away to the door. “Let me know as soon as you speak to your contact, and hopefully we can put an end to this living nightmare once and for all.”
“Don’t fret, Twilight. As soon as I receive a reply, you’ll be the first to know. Believe me.” Despite her firm vow, Starlight’s stony gaze troubled Twilight somewhat as she made her way outside. “You go and have fun with your friends. And remember: a smile a day keeps the depression monster at bay! Close the door on your way out, if you please.”
“I-If you say so, Starlight. I mean, Miss Glimmer.” Twilight politely referred to the older unicorn by her preferred term, before lightly shutting the door behind her. I’ve finally found somepony who’ll listen and promises to get help, so why do I feel so uneasy? Oh well, what’s done is done. I can only wait and see what happens next. Now, where can I get something to eat? I noticed this tiny body needs constant nourishment. Oh, who’d be young again?
Meanwhile, invisible to the naked eye, something stirred just behind her. ……………………………..
A few minutes after Twilight’s departure, Starlight checked to see if the coast was clear in the corridor before shutting her door once again, returning to her desk and glancing at her side.
“So Cozy Glow, what do you think? I’ve seen Twilight worked up before, but this kind of irrational state is a whole new level of cuckoo. Don’t tell anycreature else I use this sort of politically incorrect language privately, but I really fear she may be, for lack of a better term, completely nuts.”
“T-That… that’s not really for me to say. I may be a child myself, but it doesn’t mean I can get in the head of everycreature you see.” A small pinkish pegasus made her way out from under the desk, coughing en route from some of the dust bunnies present there. “You know Miss Glimmer, you really should spring-clean under there once in a while. I can make you a feather duster if you like. It is moulting season, after all…”
“Never mind that right now. I hired you as my assistant because I thought, with your keen eye for detail and similar age range to the pupils, you’d be able to aid me in a crucial diagnostic role. If you can’t even do that, why do I let you secretly sit-in on certain sessions? Or, more to the point, give you meaningful employment at all? There are plenty of others who’d jump at the chance to earn some extra pocket bits.”
“Oh, dearie me! I’m saving up for chess lessons, though. I wanna turn professional one day, but my poor family can’t afford to have me tutored!” Cozy Glow jabbed at her rook Cutie Mark as if emphasising her point.”Surely there’s something I can do, to restore your faith in me?”
“Actually, there is… but only because you’re lucky enough to possess a pair of wings.” Starlight had stopped being disappointed long enough to take stock of her life, and now she knew how to handle certain recent events. “First, drop this parcel off at Trixie Lulamoon’s trailer, please. She’s touring Canterlot today, I believe. Don’t peek inside: the contents are strictly for her eyes only. Or, to put it bluntly, I will know about it if you do, and the consequences for disobeying me will be most severe.”
“Understood!!” A slightly trembling Cozy Glow didn’t know what those ‘consequences’ were, but decided there and then it was best to err on the side of caution. “Anything else?”
“Yes, actually.” Starlight sat back in her three legged chair, clasping her hooves together in an almost brooding pose. “Tell Chancellor Tirek I need to see him. And it has to be now.
“N-Now? But, how will we convince him to come all this way…” Cozy Glow almost flew into a wall, so shocked was she upon hearing that.
“Yes. It’s now-or-never, I’m afraid. And don’t worry… and as soon as he hears what I have to say, he’ll make the time.”
