> Maternal Instinct
>  by FabulousDivaRarity
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Nearly Empty Nest Blues
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The maternal instinct is one unequaled in human nature. For mothers everywhere, that is the one truth in life that cannot be questioned. From the moment they feel their child growing inside of them, from the first ultrasound to the first kick, and finally the moment they are able to feel their child’s touch, the overwhelming love and newfound protectiveness is one that cannot be quantifiably measured by man. The need to protect, to love, to nurture their baby is intense and strong. More than that, the sudden intensity of needing them to need her is one that cannot be understated. The depths of a mother’s love can sometimes border on insanity, but their reasoning for their actions, whatever they may be, is rooted in that love and that instinct to protect and be needed.

The one enemy to all mothers, however old or young, was time. Too much of it, too little of it, and the inability to stop it. So many times, they wish they could rewind it, or freeze a moment of it and live in it forever, or even fast forward it when their child was going through a difficult stage. But the passage of time was a source of fear for every mother, because although they knew change in time was inevitable, the knowledge of it’s passing, of their children growing up and not needing them anymore, was a source of constant anxiety and pressure. The need to make every moment perfect, to remember every little thing because they knew someday all they would have would be their memories, was so pressing that many times they felt as though they might break.

Such were the feelings of Sky Streak, mother to Soarin, the famed Wonderbolt. As she looked out the window on the bright, sunny day playing outside, she couldn’t help but think that it greatly contrasted her mood. Her mind was brooding, stuck in the past with the knowledge that her present was so far away from it. There was an ineffable sadness in her, one that perhaps every mother on the planet felt when their child was getting close to the time of leaving home. Memories of her little boy played on her mind. It seemed like only yesterday she had brought her little Soarin into the world, and was doing everything for him, and now her baby boy was spending his last weeks at home before he would move into his own place.

The sense of time passing her by stirred up an innate restlessness for Sky. The need to do something plagued her like a sort of recurring nightmare. She desperately wanted some more time with her son, but as was the par for these sorts of things, her son only wanted to spend time with his friends and go to practice. It was only natural, she supposed, her little boy growing up. Certainly it meant that she had done her job if she had prepared her son for the world, and he could now care for himself. But all the time, as steady as the beating of her own heart, the desperate desire to be needed cried out in her mind. Many a time she had been able to simply tamp it down, but today, alone in her home, the voice would not be silenced. 

That voice, the one crying out for her to be needed again, was what was entrapping her in her memories of the past. She could recall so vividly her little boy at age one, babbling up at her with curious joy in his eyes as he discovered a brightly colored building block, or at age four, playing in the yard and getting a scrape from flying too quickly toward the ground and asking her to kiss it better. Those moments, so precious and so fleeting, were all she had to hold onto. No longer did her son need her help with such simple things. It felt like, lately, he hadn’t needed her at all. Soarin flew, cooked, had a job, and could do laundry. Could being the operative word, because when Sky had come to his room the evening before to bring him some boxes for his things, she had found a pile of dirty clothes in the hamper that had yet to be washed. Said clothes were now hanging on the clothesline to dry, and would soon be put back into the hamper, and left in her son’s room for her to fold and put away.

The restlessness inside of her finally pushed her to the point of needing to move. She crossed the house to the back door, and got out to the clothesline. After feeling everything to make sure it was dry, she took the clothespins off one by one, hefted the clothes into the hamper, went back toward the house, and closed the back door with a resounding smack. Dully, she made her way to her son’s room, all the while desperately wishing for something to happen.

Aside from the few and varied objects strewn across the floor, the surfaces in the room were fairly clean. Everything was dusted, and things were in their rightful place. There was a collection of glasses on his nightstand, never rinsed out. He drank a lot of water, as he should considering his job, and had eight glasses there, filled to the brim in the morning and then slowly emptied throughout the day to make sure his fluid intake was sufficient. This didn’t include the water he drank at his work, of course, but that was another story. A few books and pens were on the floor, having fallen from the bookshelf and desk. A stray toy, the one vestige from his childhood that Soarin had chosen to keep (a purple stuffed dog named “Doggie Do” he’d gotten at the age of five not long after the Daring Do series had begun) was also on the floor. When she set the hamper down on his bed, she picked up the old toy and felt a twinge of sadness in her heart at seeing it there. Certainly, she was glad he’d kept it, but to see it uncared for and unloved after once being the focal point of his life was more than a little saddening for her. She wondered, maybe a bit morbidly, if he would leave this behind when he moved out. His childhood would be entirely left behind, with not even one keepsake to remember it by.

Sighing, she held the toy gingerly, and set it lovingly back in it’s place, wishing desperately that things wouldn’t end. Feeling her sense of purposeless particularly acutely in this room, she was quick to make her exit and start on lunch.
> Fearing Coming Changes
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soarin sighed. Another day of Wonderbolt practice had left him exhausted, and all he wanted to do was go home and take a nap. This season of his life had been particularly taxing on him. Wonderbolt practice, alongside getting ready to leave home meant he didn’t have much time on his hooves. The imminence of the change so close on the horizon was exhaustive and secretly a bit frightening. Certainly he wanted to have his own home, but it would be his first time truly being on his own. He’d always been able to take comfort in the knowledge that were he in a tight spot or needed help with something his mother had always been there, ready to lend a helping hoof. He knew she would always be there if he needed her, but not having her immediately accessible were he to need her knowledge about something was unsettling. He likened the feeling to the way he’d felt at his first Wonderbolt practice, when he’d begun flying and realized suddenly that there were no nets there to catch him were he to crash as there had been when he’d been in the Academy. The lack of a safety net left him feeling exposed, in that situation and this one.

Now, flying toward the front door of his home, he felt the sense of change in the air, so thick he could cut it with a knife. He wasn’t all too sure of how he felt about it. He was excited, of course. The idea of having a place to call entirely his own, to make his own rules, to do whatever he wanted was intoxicating and alluring to the independent streak in him. But the flip side of all of that was a deep-seeded fear of failure, and some of being alone because it meant that were he to mess up in some way, he would have to fix it entirely himself. The one part of all this that he hadn’t acknowledged until this past week was a sense of guilt. He felt badly about leaving his mother on her own. His father had passed away a few years ago in an accident in the weather factory involving some jars of lightning and it had been just the two of them ever since. The thought of her walking and flying around an empty house made him feel more than a little guilty. He’d tried to squelch that feeling with a promise to himself to spend more time with her, but practice and spending time with his friends had inadvertently broken that. With so much to do, and so much weighing on his shoulders, it had fallen by the wayside somewhat.

As he entered his home, he’d called out to his mother that he was getting in the shower and then going to take a nap, and then headed off to do both. Normally he’d have showered at Wonderbolt headquarters, but with the move coming up, he’d wanted to spend more time in the house, and soak up every detail of it, so that were he homesick while he was in his new home, he could remember this one and derive some comfort from the memories. Walking into the bathroom, he stripped himself of his work uniform, and started the shower. When it was hot enough, he made his way inside and tried to let the warm water wash away his anxieties. The scent of body wash and some shampoo and conditioner helped further calm him, and when he came out and toweled off, he felt much better than he had before. Though now, the issue was his exhaustion. He trotted off to his bedroom only to see a hamper of his clothes on the bed. Vowing to deal with it later, he set the hamper in a corner, and peeled back the covers, climbing into his bed.

The stress of having to move had done something interesting for Soarin. It had brought up a new habit for him- or rather, resurrected an old one. One morning a few weeks ago after a particularly bad nightmare, he’d woken up to find his hoof in his mouth. His mind had paused, and told him to stop, but his body had urged him to go on. And he had. He’d suckled and nursed on it until it was time to start his day and his mother had called for breakfast, and he’d been forced to stop to preserve his dignity. It wasn’t until he had gone to bed that evening that he could admit to himself how good it felt, but he had to be careful about doing it, because he could not let his mother know about it. A nineteen year old stallion sucking his hoof? That wouldn’t do at all. So, he had confined it to right before bed, to relax himself. 

The motion had brought back some memories that he likely shouldn’t have been able to remember. They were dim and faded, but they were there. He recalled doing it as he’d been cuddled on the couch by his mother at three, and held by his father after a particularly nasty fall had broken a bone in his leg as he waited in a hospital room. The only bad memories he’d associated with it was remembering how he’d been teased for it when he’d reached an age where it was no longer considered socially acceptable. He’d asked his mother to help him stop, and she had. But he could recall, in perfect clarity for once, how he’d cried himself to sleep those nights after he’d tried to stop. Though it had worked, he could distinctly remember the intense loss he’d felt at the comfort and self-soothing technique being taken away, even if it was by his own request. Truthfully, it had always been comforting to him before that point, and he’d only stopped because of the peer pressure against him. He hadn’t been ready to give it up. So it was perhaps by chance that he had rediscovered this odd coping skill just when his world was about to be shaken in a way that would create so much change.

Now, nestling into his bed, he felt no shame as he put his hoof in his mouth. He was alone, with no pony to judge him, and his door was closed. In the privacy of his own walls, he could indulge in the comfort. As he began to suck, he felt his eyelids grow heavy, and eventually flutter shut as he drifted off to sleep, his fear and guilt temporarily abated at last.
> Comforting Acceptance
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time was something of an oddity for the two Pegasi residents of the house. For Soarin, it passed quickly because it was spent dreaming. For Sky Streak, it was painstakingly slow. Soarin had sounded absolutely exhausted when he’d come in, and when he said he intended to take a nap, she knew better than to disturb him. From all counts, waking him from a nap was a frankly horrific experience, both in his toddler years and now. In the toddler years it had meant tantrums, but now it meant grumpiness, few answers to her questions, and mostly silence. Time crawled along at a snail’s pace for her as she tried to busy herself around the house with things to do. She’d cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms, did some dusting in her own room, and was now just finishing up making dinner. Hayburgers and fries were a rare treat for the both of them, and one she hoped her son would enjoy when he awoke. She allowed a bit more time to pass as she made up her own burger with the toppings she enjoyed, but after a few minutes she reluctantly resigned herself to the fact that she would have to wake him in order for his food to be hot.

She flew down the hallway, quieter than a mouse, as she hoped to give him every second of sleep she could before having to take it away from him. Slowly, carefully, she turned the doorknob and poked her head inside to see what was both a surprising and heartwarming sight for her.

Her son was curled up beneath his blanket, face completely relaxed and at peace, and a hoof in his mouth. She could tell he was sucking on it in his sleep by the way he was breathing. It was somewhat of a snuffling sound, with a few instances of sucking noises being apparent. It was an odd sound, but not one that didn’t bring back some wonderful memories for her. She recalled putting him down for naps in his crib and hearing that same sound. For an instant, maybe more, she saw the foal she’d taken care of rather than the stallion she’d raised. 

She didn’t know how to deal with this new information. Perhaps it was a fluke. Stranger things have happened in their lives, if nothing else. But… Some instinct inside of her disagreed. Somehow she knew this was not the first time it had happened. Perhaps she wasn’t the only one feeling anxious over the big move. It was the only explanation that made sense. The question then remained of what to do with it. She could close the door and call for him, pretend like she hadn’t seen anything. But that would be dishonest in a way- a lie of omission. The other option was she could just wake him as she had intended to, and prove to him by her actions that this wasn’t a big deal to her.

For a mother to a stallion of action, the choice wasn’t hard to make.

Gently, she rubbed his back. “Soarin, it’s time for dinner.”

The stallion had murmured something unintelligible in reply before he opened his eyes. It took him three seconds to realize that his hoof was still in his mouth, his mother was waking him up, and that she’d seen it. He immediately popped it out, embarrassed, and began to try and stammer out an explanation, to which his mother simply cut him off with the words, “Come and eat.”

Soarin was utterly bewildered. His mother had seen him like this, and hadn’t said a thing. There was no look of disgust, no mocking tone, no disappointment. He couldn’t make sense of it- perhaps because he wasn’t awake enough to. Still, he followed his mother’s instructions and went to eat, simply because he was starving.

His place at the table was already set, and his mother sat at her own. She didn’t talk because she knew he was still waking up and probably shocked, and he didn’t because he couldn’t figure out how to break the silence. He focused on eating instead, and was halfway through his burger when he finally couldn’t stand not acknowledging the elephant in the room anymore. He set down his burger.

“Mom?”

“Yes, honey?” She asked, looking up from her food to meet his gaze.

“You saw…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud and just left it in quiet before saying, “And you’re not disgusted or disappointed or surprised?”

Sky Streak’s expression softened as the love shined in her eyes. “Soarin, I’m not surprised at all. You’re about to make a huge change in your life, and it’s only natural to want to find comfort in something. You’re about to leave your childhood home, so maybe you wanted to have a piece of your childhood to take comfort in. And as for being disgusted or disappointed, why would I be? You used to do it all the time when you were little. It made me smile, actually.”

He was surprised at that. “Really?”

“Of course. For a second it was like I had my little sky sailor back.” She smiled.

Soarin blushed as he recalled the sailor suit that had garnered the nickname. “Mom!”

Sky Streak chuckled. “Oh, stop it. You have no reason to be embarrassed. Every mother in the world has pet nicknames for their children. Just be thankful yours is far less embarrassing than some others I’ve heard.”

He winced a little at the thought. “I don’t want to know.”

She nodded, then continued. “Honey, if this is something that comforts you, then by all means do it. You don’t have to lock yourself in your room for it either. I love you no matter what you do. And to be fair, you could do far worse things than that. All I care about is that you are happy.”

The words were completely sincere, and Soarin felt himself smiling a little. Though not finished with his food, he got up from his seat to go around the table and hug her. “Thanks, Mom.”

Sky streak grinned as she hugged him back, knowing that she had made the right choice. “Anytime, honey.”
> Dreaming
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the next two days after that conversation, Soarin had felt awkward around his mother. She never mentioned the incident again, perhaps to make him feel more comfortable, but he was always keenly aware of it whenever he was around her. He still ended up sucking his hoof before bed anyways, but had kept it confined to that room despite his mother’s assurances that it was okay. The third day, though was the one that sparked a change in him.

His exhaustion levels were severe, even for him. Alongside regular practice, he’d been asked by Spitfire to help out at the Wonderbolts Academy that week by helping to do demonstrations. He had thought that would mean doing one demonstration per exercise. Oh no. It was several per, showing the recruits how they should do specific things. It was enough to make him feel like he’d done practice twice that day. By the time it was over, he was so utterly drained that he could feel it in his bones, and had some trouble mustering up the strength to fly home.

By the time he arrived home, he couldn’t see straight. His brain screamed sleep! At him like an alarm that couldn’t be turned off. He opened the door, vision blurred from not drinking nearly enough water under the circumstances, and not eating enough either, and he simply stumbled to the couch, too tired to make it to his room. His head landed on something soft, and he smiled, curled up, stuck his hoof in his mouth, and began to dream. 

In his exhaustion, he hadn’t realized that his head was in his mother’s lap.

For Sky Streak the moment was like something out of a dream for her. This happening, however unintentional it may have been on his part, was a blessing to her. She couldn’t remember the last time her son had fallen asleep near her, let alone in her lap. She savored this moment like one savored a rich chocolate truffle. It was so sweet and completely satisfying to her. An old instinct flared up inside of her, and she couldn’t help but stroke his mane soothingly as she quietly sang to him. The old lullaby came up, as if just waiting outside of her purview for this moment to occur, and the song “Beautiful Dreamer” floated out of her lips. It only served to settle him into a deeper sleep. 

She didn’t know how long they stayed that way. Time, for once her friend and not her enemy, seemed to be suspended for the pair of them. Soarin dreamed happily in his mother’s lap without care, and Sky Streak enjoyed the precious moments that seemed to almost be gifted to her by Princess Celestia herself. These small hours, these quiet moments of togetherness, would be what would carry her through the rough months of loneliness ahead of her. Her legs were absolutely numb and tingling, but she didn’t dare move, lest she break the dreamlike moment with a horrific dose of reality.

Soarin stayed asleep for a long time, but eventually, he woke up, blinking as his eyes struggled to adjust themselves to the dim lighting of the room. He realized fairly quickly that he wasn’t in his room. In all honesty the time after practice had ended had been a sort of hazy blur that he couldn’t really recall. He understood now that he was in the living room, and that he must have fallen asleep on the couch. But if he was asleep on the couch, why was something warm under his head?

He looked up before the question had any time to really sink into his mind, not realizing that his hoof was still in his mouth. His eyes were met with his mother’s own, though shrouded in darkness as it were. His smile was dreamy and certainly not lucid as he looked up at her, but hers was completely true and real. She stroked his mane with her hoof.

“Good evening my little sky sailor.” She smiled. She couldn’t help but use the old nickname with how he looked in that moment. Though perhaps only in that moment, his inhibitions were completely gone, and she would have been a fool not to take some small advantage of that. 
“Mmmmm. Mama.” She almost laughed at that. Her boy had never been a chatterbox in the mornings or after naps, so she wasn’t sure if this was something that was forced out of him because of convenience and courtesy or because for a second he forgot he wasn’t a child. Still, she wasn’t about to miss a second of it.

“Mama’s here. You slept for a very long time, sweetheart. It’s nearly time for dinner.” She said, giving him a chance to awaken.

Finally, the hoof came from his mouth. “‘M not hungry. Tired.”

“I know you’re tired, honey, but you need to eat something.” Her voice was gentle but cajoling.

“No.” It was staccato, short and to the point.

“Yes. You need to eat, Soarin. I won’t have you going to bed hungry tonight. You need to get up now. You can sleep right after dinner is over, I promise.” Though she hated to break the odd spell between them with her firmness, they both needed to eat, and she needed to cook something.

The sound he made in response to that was somewhere between a whine and a groan, but he did move, though his limbs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds and were filled with lead. Sky Streak kissed her son as she passed him, and went to fix dinner. It was a quick fix tonight, some pasta with a vegetarian sauce. It was simple and easy to make, so she couldn’t have asked for anything better. She doled her son out a large bowl, knowing that by the state he was in, he likely hadn’t eaten enough, nor drunk enough water for that matter. She got out a big glass and filled it up for him, before she called him to eat.

Soarin, exhausted, trudged to the table and ate, at first slowly, and then quickly when he realized just how hungry he was. When he was done though, the short burst of hunger-fueled adrenaline ended, and though he was more awake than he had been, he was still tired.

Sky Streak was not unaware of this. “You should go to bed, honey. You look exhausted.”

Soarin shook his head. “No, no, I should stay up a while or I’ll get up too early.”

“Then will you at least take it easy?” She asked him.

“Okay.” He said, and started to move to clear his plate, but his mother stopped him and insisted on him going to relax. So, he made his way to his room. He lay on his bed a while, but every time the temptation to sleep was too overwhelming, and since his room didn’t have any places to sit up, he decided to go back out to the living room.

Sky Streak was reading a book when her son came out and plopped down next to her. She grinned brightly at him, and he had smiled back. They talked a short while, just about their days, before lapsing into silence.

Ever so slowly, Soarin found himself losing his battle with sleep, and unknowingly began inching toward his mother. Sky immediately responded by wrapping her wing around him, the way she had when he was a little boy. His hoof entered his mouth, though he wasn’t completely asleep yet, and for a time they simply cuddled. Then, finally, Soarin lost his battle completely, and his head was leaning on his mother’s shoulder. 

She gave it maybe half an hour, until she was sure he was dead asleep, before she lifted him into her hooves to carry him to bed. Mercifully, since he was an athlete, he was fit and not too heavy, though it was still a struggle for her. But she wasn’t about to miss out on doing something for him she hadn’t done since he was five. She carried him to his room, and tucked him into bed, giving him a gentle kiss goodnight before she silently made her exit and left him to dream.
> Old Friends
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Waking up the next morning for Soarin was almost magical, not necessarily in the way that everything seemed to be perfect for him or that he had a good feeling about that day, but in a different way. He remembered falling asleep on the couch and waking up in his bed gave him that odd sense of wonder he’d felt as a young colt when his parents put him there. He realized now that his mother must have done that for him last night. Underneath the surprise that she was strong enough to do it, was an odd feeling of warmth at the sensation. When he’d gained his bearings, he realized a few things at once. The first was that the water glasses he kept by his bed were already filled, a chore he usually did every morning. He drank his morning glass, and then noticed the distinctive smell of waffles being made in the kitchen. Specifically, Chocolate chip ones, likely topped with maple syrup and whipped cream- his favorite. The smell made him lick his lips in anticipation. He hopped out of bed, and went to the bathroom before he made his way to the kitchen. At his place was a plate of three chocolate chip waffles dripping with syrup, and piled high with whipped cream. His nose had not lied to him. He grinned at the sight, just as his mother sat her own plate at her place.

“Morning, sweetheart.” Sky Streak smiled, and pecked his cheek. “I made your favorite.”

“Mmmmm.” The happy hum was all the thanks she needed as she watched her son dig into his breakfast and ate by him.

As always, Practice came up in the morning, so Soarin had to leave, and his mother was left the house for the day. Sky Streak cleaned up from breakfast, and then, feeling an odd sort of pull, headed to the attic. That was the place where they kept boxes of old things. She’d rarely gone there over the years, but felt a need to now. She looked over the box labels and found the one she wanted, and pulled it out, taking it downstairs.

Inside was a box of Soarin’s baby items. 

Perhaps it was a bit of nostalgia, but last night had her feeling wistful for what she’d had with her son back then. She pulled out a photo album and started flipping through the pages. Her son had been such a beautiful baby. From the moment she’d first held him, she’d fallen in love with him. He was simply perfect in her eyes. As he grew, he became so curious about everything. When he was around three, that was the age when he’d followed her around the house all day asking her questions until she couldn’t even think straight. A picture from his first day of school reminded her of the tears she’d shed that morning so long ago because she feared he wouldn’t need her anymore. There was a medal in there from his first race he won at age six. Birthday parties, milestones, and a childhood well lived were immortalized in those pictures and the loving inscriptions she’d written by them. The picture that made her smile the most though, was taken when he was five.

Soarin was in a little sailor suit, holding his stuffed companion Doggie Do in one hoof as he smiled at the toy. She remembered that day perfectly. She’d helped him dress in that sailor suit because he had told her that he and Doggie Do were going on an adventure at sea to help find a lost temple on the other side of the ocean. So she’d gotten him that little suit and gotten Doggie Do a very tiny piece of fabric to wear as a sailor’s cap, and the pair had set sail on an adventure for the ages. She’d gotten to watch canon battles unfold, traps be outsmarted, and treasure be rescued. He’d had such an imagination on him, and she wondered where in Equestria that had gone. Certainly it took some of it to come up with some of the maneuvers for Wonderbolt shows, but she got the feeling that much of the potential had yet to be tapped into. 

The one thing that could help him tap into it though, was in his room. 

She packed up the box, and put it back with it’s twins, and headed to his room, to see his old and beloved companion, Doggie Do, sitting on the shelf.

She picked up the small toy. It was very dirty, and worn with age in places where the fur was patchy, but all in all, it was well taken care of. No rips or tears, no pulled out eyes, and not a mark on it in sight. She looked at the stuffed animal, and saw something full of potential. A catalyst of sorts, for her son to be able to tap into the full extent of his imagination. It gave her an odd feeling- like she was touching something exploding with power. It sent a tingle up her spine at the thought. She formulated an idea so fast that it left her reeling. Picking up the toy, she carried it in her hooves as if it were a sacred object that was necessary for worship, and took him to the kitchen sink. 

Soon, her son would be able to imagine things just the same as he used to. But his favorite traveling companion would need a bath first. So, armed with soap, an unused toothbrush, and warm water, along with a sewing needle should things go awry, she began her pet project. She carefully wet Doggie Do, and gently scrubbed out any dirt that may have gotten on him. She cleaned him thoroughly, and mercifully created no tears in the toy. Then, she took him outside in the sun to dry, setting him in her lap. As she looked up at the sun in the sky, she couldn’t help but think that this was going to be an incredible day.
> Planning And Execution
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Soarin came home later that day, his exhaustion was similar to the other day, but somewhat lessened as his body adjusted. His energy was slightly up, but his ability to process things, to create, to enjoy, was severely depleted. Using it to help those in the Wonderbolts Academy, along with his regular Wonderbolts practice, meant that he was sucked dry of those qualities. He got home emotionally exhausted. 

Sky Streak had been waiting for him when he got there. Of course she had. He had told her about this week before it came to pass, and she had tried to prepare herself accordingly with all the support, encouragement, and love he deserved. She smiled to see her boy come in the door and went over to give him a kiss.

“How was your day, baby?”

“Exhausting.” He said.

“Do you want to take a nap?” She asked.

He seriously contemplated that for a minute, then shook his head. “No, I think I’m just going to take a shower.”

Sky nodded with a smile. “Of course. I’ll be here if you need me. And I’m making grilled cheese for dinner.”

Soarin smiled at that. He’d used to love eating those sandwiches as a kid. Then, he hugged his mother, and went to take a shower. He stripped off his Wonderbolts uniform as the water began to run, and waited a few moments before he got inside. The warm water instantly relaxed him as his limbs became gelatinous. After years of Wonderbolt training, he might have thought it would make him immune to feelings like that. But, as it were, he was not. There was something oddly nice about the feeling, that knowledge that he’d really gave himself a good work out, despite the otherwise uncomfortableness of it. Still, it wouldn’t matter much anyways. He had decided to take his mother's suggestion when the feeling struck, and intended to go straight from the shower to bed for a well-earned rest. When he was cleaned off, he toweled himself dry, and noted he’d need to preen himself soon- his feathers were starting to irritate him a bit. Then, clean and dry, he went to his room.

Sky Streak considered herself a very tactful planner. Nothing happened that she wanted that she did not prepare for. She liked to think that had she been around in the days of General Flash Magnus and the Royal Legion, she would have made a good strategy planner for strikes in war. In anything and everything she did, there was a plan- a clear goal if not an all around method to her madness. She devised a strategy she felt would work best, and had several contingency plans for if things did not go according to her original design. Soarin having some much needed playtime was no exception to this rule. Her main strategy this time was not overly complicated. It didn’t need to be. She knew her son well enough to know when his mental barriers were low, and this was that time. She hoped that in doing this, she could inspire him, help revitalize some of his energy, and overall help him to be happier. All she’d done to prepare for this was move his Doggie Do onto his bed, where he’d see it before he went to nap. This being the midst of his hectic week, his energy was bound to be low enough for it to be necessary. All she had to do now was wait. 

Soarin approached his room and tossed his uniform aside, uncaring of where it landed. He’d get it later when he wasn’t so physically tired. His eyes locked onto his bed, which called to him with a siren song. But then, he noticed that something sat atop it. He got a bit closer, and recognized Doggie Do, his old stuffed companion from when he’d been a foal and very young colt. Except this Doggie Do didn’t look like the one he’d occasionally glanced at on a shelf. His fur was spotless, and free of any wear and tear. His eyes gleamed brightly, and he seemed… Fresh. Like he’d been gotten only a day before. As he tried to process this, the only thought that came through his head was that his mother had been cleaning his room and done some retouching on his old friend. It wasn’t like her to leave him where she knew he was supposed to go, but he figured maybe she wanted to show him what she’d done to restore his old toy. It made him smile, oddly enough, this evidence of her care. That was about all he had the energy to do though. 

He didn’t want to bother putting the toy back on the shelf, so he simply grabbed it, pulled back the covers, and got into bed. As it happened, he nestled into his covers and noticed how soft his toy was now. It had still had places before where it was soft, but stains and worn places had made it lose that effect over time. Now, without any consent from his mind, he snuggled the toy. It was so fluffy now. Almost like another pillow, but softer. He decided maybe his Doggie Do didn’t need to go on the shelf yet. It could take a nap with him. He pulled the plushie close to himself, popped a hoof in his mouth, suckled, and slowly let his eyes begin to droop shut. Sooner than anticipated, he was asleep.

When Sky Streak came by to check on him half an hour after the water from the shower had shut off, she smiled at the sight of Soarin cuddling his old friend. It heartened her to see that her work in completely repairing the old toy hadn’t gone to waste. Soon, she hoped, she could see him play and smile again. The longing to see the joy in his eyes was one so great she couldn’t even put it into words. All she wanted, all she had ever wanted, was to see her boy happy. And now, looking at the contentment on his face, she could only think one thing:

Her plan was working perfectly.
> Knowing Me, Knowing You
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Soarin woke up from his nap, it was to the beat of his own drum. His mother hadn’t woken him this time, and he realized he must not have been asleep for as long as he’d thought because his room didn’t have the brightness level it usually held when it was time for dinner. Despite this, though, he felt oddly refreshed. Very few times did he sleep and actually wake up feeling like he’d slept. Most of the time, in mornings or after whatever sporadic naps he’d taken over the years, he felt like a walking corpse. But this time, he felt like he was ready to tackle the day. Or rather, what remained of it. He did not recognize that his hoof was in his mouth still, but he realized fairly quickly the softness snuggled against him could be the culprit of his well-rested feeling. Taking his hoof from his mouth with a pop (and feeling slightly embarrassed he hadn’t realized it was there in the first place), he picked up his old companion. 

Doggie Do carried with him the last shred of Foalhood he’d bothered to keep. This stuffed companion had seen him through nightmares, countless adventures, temper tantrums, and nap times over the years. He’d done it all without ever being prompted, until Soarin was seven, and decided he was too old for him. Still though, he’d kept the toy in his room as a reminder. The stuffed dog was tinged with both good and bad connotations. The good being all the adventures, smiles, laughs, and happiness of childhood, and the bad being a grim reminder of what he’d felt the need to shed so quickly. 

His mother had told him a few times in his teenage years about how before the age of five, he had let himself grow up according to his own timetable. His mother had allowed him to give up things at his own pace, she’d said. She’d told him that he had potty trained a bit late, at the age of two, and that she’d nursed him until the age of four and only stopped because he’d said he didn’t want it anymore. So she had. She’d acquiesced to his wishes, and let him develop at his own pace, so he could make his choices independently, and grow in confidence in his decisions. The downside of this, though his mother had been correct about all of that, was that he’d been more childish from other children at that age. He’d been teased about it often, and he hadn’t liked it. So, at the age of five, he’d thrown aside childish things and plunged himself into being a grown up. The only two things that had stuck with him were Doggie Do and sucking his hoof, and when he’d turned seven, and was even more socially conscious of his peers, he’d given those up too, even though he personally hadn’t been ready. It was the only time he could think of that peer pressure had really gotten under his skin. 

Staring at the old toy was a reminder of a childhood he’d given up so quickly because he’d been so afraid of what other ponies would think. He realized that that peer pressure to grow up was affecting him even now, because when he realized his mother had first seen him sucking his hoof, the first thought he’d had was that she was going to shun him for acting so juvenile. But she hadn’t. She’d gone on and treated him kindly, without judgement. She’d loved him despite it, and now, seeing this, it made him realize something. If he could send a message back in time to his younger self, he’d tell that young colt not to worry what other ponies thought and just be happy growing up at his own pace. Maybe if he’d known that, and taken it to heart, he’d be less inclined to childish things now. But he knew now that he could still be comfortable with himself and have some childish habits. He hadn’t known that before. He couldn’t take it out in public, sure, but at home… What was stopping him?

Himself. The answer came almost as soon as he’d formulated the question. His mother certainly didn’t seem to mind it, and if she, in all she’d done for him and taught him over the years, didn’t take issue with it, why should he? The thought was oddly liberating. It was the first step in taking down a wall built up over thirteen years. Today, he would fear no more. He put Doggie Do on his back and went down to see how dinner was coming along.

Sky Streak was buttering bread for grilled cheese sandwiches when he came, and she smiled at him.

“I see you found the gift I left you, and that you took my advice and had a nap.” Her tone was pleased, but not overtly excited.

“I did.” He smiled. “What made you touch it up?”

“You’re going to college in a few months, so I thought if you wanted to take him with you he should look his best.” She smiled. 

Soarin gave her a half-hug with his wing. “He looks great. Thanks, Mom.”

Sky pulled him into a hug. “Anytime, honey. You had so many adventures with him growing up. I used to love seeing what you could come up with. You and he went to temples, over seas, in forests, and through castles. It was amazing to see what you created when you put your mind to it.”

“Really?” Soarin asked. His memories of those adventures were very vague, but the feeling of excitement and happiness they gave him was strong.

“Oh yes! The first one you ever went on with him was a sailing adventure to a temple. Doggie Do was your first mate. You captained the ship, and you made it to the temple, but the crew didn’t make it past the booby traps. You were upset about that for quite some time.”

As she spoke, he thought he could see it happening, like an old film playing in his mind. He frowned. “I think I remember that. I felt bad for the crew.”

This was Sky Streak’s chance. “You know, I still have your set up from that adventure in a box in the attic. It’s not too late to rewrite the ending.”

He perked up at that. “You saved it?”

“Of course. It was important to you. I’d never forget something that meant so much to you. They were important to you, and they were important to me too, because the memories they carry mean so much to me, and because they were such a part of you and helped make you into who you are today.” She said sincerely.

“Can I… Get them?”

“Of course you can. They’re your toys.” She smiled.

Soarin pecked her on the cheek and sped off for the attic, with Sky Streak smiling as she watched. She steamed some vegetables before she put the grilled cheese on, and through that time, she heard moving of boxes above her, rummaging, and the clatter of several things on the floor, and finally the sound of her son dropping all of it in the living room. She kept on with dinner, now that the griddle was heated, And set the buttered bread and cheese down with a satisfying sizzle. As the sandwich began to cook, she poked her head out the kitchen to see her son fully immersed in a world of his own creation, and smiling with total happiness.

As she went to flip her sandwich, all she could think of was that that was the reason why she became a mother. All of the hard decisions, late nights, fear, guilt, and exhaustion were all made worth it in that one thing. Nothing else mattered to her more than seeing her son smile.
> Adventure In The Temple
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the grilled cheese sandwiches were done, Sky Streak filled up two plates for herself and her son. She turned off the griddle and moved them to the table, before turning to her son.

“Soarin, dinner time!"

“Do I have to? They’re about to break into the temple!” Sky Streak wasn’t sure if this was by accident or he was so lost in his story that the old habit came up, but the whine was so childish it reminded her of when he’d truly been a little boy and was busy at play. She smiled.

“You need to eat so that you have the energy to face the traps. You can’t afford to be tired when you need to be alert!”

She had a point. “Coming!”

Sky Streak grinned. That one had worked when he was a boy too.

Soarin had flown over to the dinner table, perky and energized as she’d hoped he’d be.

“So, what’s happening at the temple?” She asked him.

“Auhizotul tried to keep every pony out by making nets out of vines that could trap any pony flying or walking!” He said.

“Really? So how did you escape?” She asked with a smile.

“One of the crew brought a cutlass.” He said matter-of-factly. 

“Oh my. Did any pony get hurt?”

“Nope! Not yet, at least. And I hope it stays that way.”

Sky Streak smiled. “Me too.”

Soarin ate his dinner much more quickly than usual, wanting to get back to what he’d been doing before. He’d finished eating, raced his plate to the sink with a clang! And went straight back. As Sky Streak ate, she watched him play. It was utterly enchanting to see that he’d come up with something so brilliant. When it came time to clean off her own plate, the sounds of him doing the voices of characters gave her enough of a mental image of what was going on. And when that was done, she sat down to watch close up.

When she’d gotten there, Soarin and his crew had been in the room just before the room that contained the lost idol. Soarin and first mate Doggie Do treaded carefully in their new territory. This room was certainly the most heavily guarded. Soarin scanned the floor to look for any loose looking tiles, or images inscribed on them that might be necessary to get to the idol. There wasn’t anything there to be seen at that point, but he knew it could change at any point. The walls had hieroglyphs on it that he couldn’t make sense of, so, he decided to hover just above the floor. If there was a string activated trap, he wouldn’t trip it, and if there was an attack from the walls, he could duck or dodge it. He turned to his first mate.

“I’m going in.” Doggie Do nodded, their crew behind him. 

Soarin flew in, tentatively, just enough to stay off the ground. Nothing happened as he entered the room, but he knew that could change at any time. He was on high alert now, ready for anything. He made it to the center, and he saw it. The idol. The gold statuette of a monkey covering it’s ears was the stuff of legend. Said to be cursed to turn whomever it touched to stone, it had to be handled carefully. Many before it had tried to get it, and nearly all had failed, but mostly because of the booby traps beforehoof. A few had set eyes on the idol, but none had gotten so far as to touch it. 

None until him.

Soarin reached a gloved hoof out, making sure his clothes covered him completely, and plucked it from the pedestal, though the tension was unbearable. As soon as he had it, he slipped it in his saddlebag. Nothing seemed to happen, but he didn’t intend to stick around to find out what would. Then, behind him, the sound of sliding stone resounded from the walls, and he dared a look back to see that the pedestal had disappeared. 

Crap.

He shouted to his troops, “RUN!” As he sped up his own flight. The temple began to shake, small rocks beginning to fall. It was collapsing on him, and he was going to make it out. He rocketed through debris, maneuvering his way through rocks, falling walls, chunks of ceiling too. His nickname, clipper from the Wonderbolts, seemed to follow him there, as just before he could make it out, he clipped his wing on a falling stone, and ended up crashing down just outside the entrance.

Doggie Do rushed up to him. “Did you get it, Captain?”

Getting up, Soarin rummaged around in his saddlebag, and got the idol out. He grinned. “We did it!”

The ponies erupted into cheers. They had done it, and rescued the idol.

Soarin was snapped out of his play by the sound of clapping hooves, and looked up to see his mother smiling down at him, completely satisfied. He blushed a little, getting so caught up in his imagination, though he knew she didn’t mind. Sky Streak grinned at him.

“I’ve been waiting to see you get that idol for thirteen years. It’s about time that story got a happy ending.” She grinned.

Soarin smiled. “I think you’re right.”

Sky Streak smiled. “I’m your mother. I usually am.” 

They both shared a chuckle, and Sky Streak leaned down to kiss his head. Soarin smiled at her, and she looked at him lovingly.

“I’d love to watch you play all day, but I think you should be getting to bed soon. You still have practice on top of helping at the academy.” She said.

Soarin nodded. She was right again. “Okay Mom.”

“Make sure you clean up your toys before you go to bed, okay?” Just being able to say that made her smile and took her back thirteen years.

“Okay, Mom.” That was a bit more irritated, as it implied he wasn’t responsible.

“Don’t take that tone with me. I have to clean your floor at least once a week, and I don’t want to see that mess in my living room.” The response was reflexive.

Soarin felt oddly chastened. “Okay.” 

Sky Streak smiled, and gave him a kiss. Soarin then began cleaning up, and eventually had the living room cleared. He brought Doggie Do into his room, and used the bathroom, before he went to bed. Deciding that he wanted the plush softness of Doggie Do with him for the night, he popped his hoof in his mouth, cuddled his toy, and went to sleep.
> Accidents Happened
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soarin slept deeply that night. His dreams were vivid and in the brightest colors. It was utterly beautiful and almost mesmerizing to see. Lush forests, blue lakes, and meadows dotted with vibrant flowers. It was incredible to see. Soarin flew through the air, spiraling along and doing maneuvers the likes of which no one had ever seen. In this place, so beautiful and serene, a pony could forget any cares they had. He could smell the scent of petrichor in those meadows, with their grasses dewy from the rain of the night before. The sounds of birds chirping, and nature humming were soothing and calming. Tired eventually from all of the stunts, he landed in a meadow, spotted with pink, yellow, and white flowers, near a brook. The sound of rushing water grew closer and closer and suddenly, he was awake.

Soarin woke up in the middle of the night. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was three in the morning. He didn’t need to be up for another four hours. Then, he couldn’t figure out why he had awoken. It took him a moment, maybe two to realize what was the issue.

There was a wet patch in his bed.

Perhaps in a moment of naivety, he thought it could be sweat. The mountain of blankets over him combined with the temperature outside could do that. But the scent of urine certainly disproved this in one swift motion. He had wet the bed. He, a grown stallion, who hadn’t had an accident since the age of four, hadn’t woken up to use the bathroom. 

Most ponies would have been alarmed, and embarrassed. He was embarrassed, that was for certain, but not alarmed, because he could pinpoint what had caused it. 

He remembered every bit of warnings he’d been given, both medically and professionally, for being a Wonderbolt. One of them, made by his doctor maybe a year or two ago when he’d come straight from practice, sweating profusely, that wearing his flight suit for too long while sweaty could cause a Urinary Tract Infection. Normally that did not manifest in bedwetting in adults, but considering he was sleeping so deeply it was somewhat explainable. His body hadn’t registered the need to go to the bathroom. Simple. All of that, mercifully, could be remedied with a trip to the doctor and some antibiotics. But what to do in the meantime, aside from do some laundry, remained questionable. He could say that tonight was a one time fluke, but honestly it wasn’t likely. He still had a few days left of helping at the academy, and sleeping deeply always happened when he was exhausted. That wouldn’t be right. He could sleep under towels to try and fix it, but then the question of laundry would come up again, and with the week he still had to finish, he didn’t need anything more on his plate. That left one option.

Protection.

He did not like this idea in any way, but if Celestia forbid this continued, it would be the best way to keep his bed dry, and when the antibiotics ran their course, he could just get rid of them. The only question left was if he should talk to his mother about it. He was eighteen after all, so doctor’s appointments and things he bought weren’t her business. However, this was likely a problem she’d encountered in his foalhood, and could likely give some solid advice on. Though he was loathed to admit it, the second option could very well save him some trips to the laundry room. 

So, Soarin gathered his bedding and threw it in the hamper, and took it to the laundry room where he began to clean it. He hung it on the back line of the yard, unfortunate enough to have to wait until the sun came out to have it dry, and then went back in to remake his bed with new sheets. He cleaned himself off with a wet washcloth and some soap, not wanting to run the shower at this point, and dried himself off, before he made his way to his Mother’s room. 

The master bedroom of the house was quite impressive. By far the biggest bedroom, it sported a mattress big enough to be considered an ocean, a bathroom with double sinks, and a spacious walk in closet. Sky Streak had no use for that much room now, but when her husband had been alive, it had been a necessity. Breeze Chaser had died when Soarin had been five. A worker in the weather factory, death claimed him unexpectedly when several jars of lightning had crashed at once. He was unfortunate enough to have been the innocent bystander in that. The lightning had gotten his heart out of rhythym, and the severe burns alongside that made it easy for death to take him. Sky had been devastated, but she’d kept going for the sake of her son. She’d raised him the best she could, and could only hope that she’d done her husband proud. By all accounts, he should have been incredibly pleased.

As Soarin entered the room, he felt so… small. It wasn’t because of the circumstances upon which he entered it either. This room had felt so big after his father had died. There was too much space in here. And he could remember being a little boy and climbing up onto that ocean of a bed, and feeling as though it were swallowing him whole. He’d come in here as a child when he’d had nightmares or accidents. The memories were faded, worn like on old photograph, but they were there. It felt depressingly ironic that it was the same reason that he came in now.

On the left side of the bed, Sky Streak slept, unaware yet of the presence of her child in the room. It wasn’t until Soarin went to her that awareness began to slowly seep in.

Soarin gently shook her shoulder. “Mom? Mom, wake up.”

Sky Streak’s eyes snapped open at once and she took in a deep breath through her nose as though having been shaken from a nightmare. When she realized who was there with her, she stroked his cheek.

“What is it, baby? Did you have a nightmare?” She asked, voice slurred with sleep. His nightmares were few, and very infrequent, but on a few occasions he had come to her with them, especially during the very seldom recurring nightmare in which she wasn’t alive.

“Mom, I had an accident.”

Sky Streak blinked as the words took a moment to sink in. Then, when they did, she sat up. “Do you need me to wash your sheets?” She mumbled.

“No, mom. I need to know what to do. I think I might have an infection, so I’m going to go to the doctor’s tomorrow and try and get some medicine, but what do I do until then to help keep this from happening? I’ve considered getting… You know. And I might have to, but for tonight, what do I do?”

Sky Streak slowly nodded. “First of all, you did all the right things. You washed your sheets, you cleaned yourself up, your replaced your bedding, and you came and told me. You’re on a roll so far. For tonight, I’d just sleep on some towels. There’s not much we can do when the stores are closed. Afterward to keep this from happening, limit your fluid intake a few hours before bed, use the bathroom as often as you need to- especially before bed, and I’ll go out while your at practice to get you some protection so you won’t have to do it. Okay?”

Soarin nodded, and felt a lot of relief from her words. “Thanks, Mom.”

Sky Streak smiled, and gave him a kiss. “That’s why I’m here, sweetie. Now go back to bed and get some sleep. You still have practice in the morning.”

Soarin nodded and smiled at her before heading to the bathroom. Grabbing a couple of towels, he laid them underneath him, not enjoying the peculiar sensation, but eventually settled down and got some sleep.
> Diagnoses and Decisions
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Soarin woke up the next morning, he was mercifully dry. He started on his morning routine, and tried not to think about the night before. He was going to see the doctor on the grounds today, and that would help sort out the problem. He was doing everything he needed to do to face it, and he took some comfort in that. He flew downstairs and hurriedly ate a breakfast of oatmeal and some fruit, lovingly made by his mother, before he was out the door. He made it to the grounds in record time, and got to the medical wing.

Doctor Brawny Hooves came into his exam room. “Good morning, Soarin.”

“Hey doc.”

“You’re looking well. What can I do for you today?” He asked.

“I think I might have a bladder infection, and I was hoping to find out for sure and maybe get some medication for it.”

The doctor nodded. “No problem. Just leave a urine sample and we’ll get it to the lab. I should have your results in a little bit, and I can prescribe you a medication if you need it.”

Soarin nodded gratefully. “Thanks doc.”

So, Soarin did as instructed, before coming back to the exam room, and waiting for the doctor. Roughly ten minutes later, Doctor Brawny Hooves came back.

“You were right in your thinking, Soarin. It’s a Urethritis infection, and pretty much the most common one you can get. I wrote you a prescription you can get at the pharmacy. Now it’s very important that you take the medication for all seven days like it says, even if you think it’s gone. The symptoms might have cleared up, but you need to make sure that infection is gone or they’ll come back. If you’re still having problems, you can always come back.”

“Is there anything I need to do to help get rid of it besides taking this?”

“Drink plenty of fluids. Unsweetened cranberry juice can also help with these kinds of infections, so if you have that around, that would be good. Make sure you’re keeping your vitamin C up, and make sure you use the bathroom when you need to. If you do all of that, you should be doing better in no time.”

“Hey doc?”

“Hmmm?”

“I kind of… I wet the bed last night, so is there anything I need to be doing on top of this to stop that?”

“Well, you could set alarms to wake yourself up throughout the night to use the bathroom?”

Soarin winced. “I don’t think that I could do that to myself or my mom. Me not getting enough sleep is bad enough, and she doesn’t need that.”

“Well then, you can monitor your fluid intake before bed to make sure you won’t produce as much urine at night.”

Soarin nodded, remembering his mother’s words. “Alright. Anything else?”

“If nothing else, consider protection.”

Soarin blushed but nodded. “Alright. Thanks doc.”

“Take care.”

With that, Soarin was off.

As her son was headed to practice, Sky Streak was at home, cleaning up from breakfast. She’d felt a bit saddened by Soarin’s hurry this morning, but understood it perfectly. She was certain his hunch was right. Her boy had always had sharp instincts. But, today she had an errand to run for him, and she was going to do it to the best of her ability.

When everything was cleaned up, she grabbed her saddlebags, and headed out the door. Shopping in Cloudsdale would be too obvious. She wanted her son to have discretion. So, she went to Ponyville instead. She’d been there quite a bit before, and knew the shops around there fairly well. She’d seen the shop that sold that kind of protection before, but had never gone in. But now that she had a reason to, she was going to go in.

The Diapered Dynamo shop in Ponyville supplied protection for every size of pony. She had to admit, the size was a bit intimidating, considering it was much bigger than all of the other shops around there, but Sky Streak would not be deterred. She strode into the place with confidence. The shopkeeper smiled at her from behind a counter.

“Welcome to Diapered Dynamos! my name is Soft Cloud, can I help you?”

“Hello. I’m looking for diapers that would fit an eighteen year old stallion, preferably some overnight ones. I’m afraid my son had an infection and has started wetting the bed.”

“I completely understand. Aisle three, and the overnight section will be on your right.”

“Thank you.” Sky Streak went to the aisle suggested, and was stunned with just how much variety there was. Medical diapers, plain white diapers, diapers with designs, foalish diapers, and just… More than she’d ever been presented with. She came to the overnight section, and found her choices limited to plain white ones, ones with designs, or ones that were extremely foalish. The medical diapers were also there but they didn’t look like they could hold as much, and as a child, her son had been a heavy wetter. She decided not to test her son’s patience, and grabbed a pack of twenty four. It should more than last the duration of whatever infection he might have and account for naps too if he so chose. 

Grabbing her purchase from the shelf, she went to the counter, paid her twenty bits (because apparently quality diapers sized up for adults weren’t nearly as cheap as actual foal diapers, or so Sky Streak mused), slipped them in her saddlebag, and flew back home. She hoped, perhaps foolishly, that her son wouldn’t overreact to her choice. But, since it was his suggestion in the first place, he wouldn’t have much room to talk. She knew though, that even if he suggested it, it didn’t mean he would go without a fight. It would be up to her to gently coax him into it, as she did when he’d had accidents as a toddler. One thing, though was for certain:

This would make for an interesting evening.
> The First Change
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sky Streak arrived home long before Soarin would, and sat the package of diapers on his bed, out of plain sight for the moment. She went to the backyard and got the sheets off of the back line, since they were now dry from the heat of the afternoon sun. She folded them up, and brought them inside to put in his closet, and glanced at the diapers on the bed. It was surreal, honestly, for her to think he would need them again in any capacity. She loved the memories it brought her, but she did feel bad that it had gotten to the point where he felt the need to actually ask for it. She worried, fretted, about what this could do to his self-esteem. Her son was a Wonderbolt, certainly, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t sensitive to certain topics. The idea of wetting the bed or needing to wear diapers again could certainly undercut the confidence she had worked so hard to help him build. And throughout all of these thoughts, she felt guilty because the image of him wearing them filled her with joy, and she knew she shouldn’t feel that way if he was struggling. As the battle for emotional domination raged within her, she moved to her own room to lay down for a while and try to get her head on straight again before her son got home.

Soarin somehow made it through his regular practice, and through helping out at the academy- though albeit while taking several bathroom breaks. Nonetheless, he’d made it through, and he was immensely grateful. He’d spoken to Spitfire earlier about it and mercifully she had understood. So he was granted bathroom access during practice and while helping at the academy. Unfortunately he’d had to use it quite a bit, but at least it was cleared with his Captain. That was all he cared about, really. Well, except the part about how difficult it was getting his flight suit off to use the bathroom, but in his opinion it was a small annoyance compared to everything else. Now, getting ready to leave, he used the bathroom one more time before he headed to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription. He handed the pharmacist his prescription, and she filled it in no time with macrodantin, giving him instructions on how to take it.

“Okay Soarin, you need to take this medication with food every four hours four times per day. Don’t break it up, because you need to take it whole. Make sure you don’t use any antacids with magnesium in them while you take it because then it won’t absorb as well. Don’t skip any doses, and make sure you take the entire prescription, even when it seems as though the symptoms have cleared up. If you notice any new symptoms, make sure you tell your doctor. Alright?” The mare smiled.

Soarin nodded. “Got it. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome!” She called, and just afterward, Soarin took off for home.

It was somewhat late by the time Soarin arrived home, about five thirty in the evening. He assumed that his mother had dinner for him in the fridge and had likely already eaten. He didn’t worry about it too much- or more precisely didn’t have time to as nature called him yet again. This time, though, he could strip himself of his flight suit completely. That, at least, was a relief. Since he was in the bathroom, he decided to take a quick shower. Then, grabbing his medication, he went down to the kitchen to find something to eat.

To his surprise, two steaming dinners of vegetable stir fry were on the counter, clearly waiting for his arrival, as his mother appeared in the kitchen. Sky Streak smiled upon seeing him.

“Hi sweetheart.” She went over to him and gave him a kiss. “How was your day?”

“It was okay.” He shrugged, grabbing his plate and taking it to the table, suddenly famished. 

“How were the cadets? Did they listen to what you showed them?” She asked.

“For the most part. There were one or two bad seeds who blew off pretty much everything I tried to show them, but Spitfire straightened them out.” He smiled, grabbing a fork and immediately shoveling some food into his mouth.

Sky Streak smiled. “Glad to hear it.”

The two of them ate mostly in silence- Soarin because he was so busy eating and Sky Streak because she didn’t know how to broach the subject of her purchase earlier in the day. She hadn’t had enough time to plan this out to account for any problems, and right now, she had a small idea of what to do. She didn’t like going into a situation without careful planning, but it looked as though she had no choice.

Soarin finished up his dinner, and then took the first pill in his regimen. Sky Streak knew that now was the most opportune time to bring up the subject. After Soarin had swallowed his medicine, Sky Streak approached him to speak.

“The package is waiting on your bed, honey.” She said.

“What?” He looked at her, perplexed.

She looked at him. “What you asked me for last night.”

He blushed. “O-Oh. Right. Thanks.”

She nodded. The next statement was bound to cause some awkwardness, but it was something she intended to stand by. “I’ll be helping you get them on before bed.” 

There was no trace of negotiability in her tone, but Soarin still protested. 

“Mom! I can do it myself!” He replied, indignant.

Sky Streak gave him a look. “You, who has never seen a diaper changed, or changed a diaper, let alone put one on, are going to do that for yourself?” 

“Y-Yes.” Her boy was still stubborn, but he sounded uncertain. 

She decided to play her trump card now. “If you want to do it yourself, then fine. But if you do it incorrectly, you will leak all over your bed and completely undermine the purpose of wearing them.”

Soarin grumbled. He hated it when she was right. “Fine…”

Sky Streak smiled. “Thank you.”

Soarin likely would have spent more time being embarrassed over his circumstances if the need to go to the bathroom hadn’t overtook him again. He scrambled madly for the bathroom, leaving Sky Streak to simply smile slightly at a victory well earned, despite not planning it as well as she could have.

For Soarin, the time between dinner and before bed was spent making multiple trips to the restroom, without time for much else. Sky Streak, during that time, tried to kill time by reading, but it just wasn’t helping to distract her enough from what was to come, and the slight tingle of excitement it brought her, along with its twin sister, guilt. 

But finally, the time for sleep arrived for all, and Sky felt herself exhausted, so she went to her son’s room to do what she’d been waiting to do since the moment she got the diapers. For a moment, one glorious moment, time would stand still, and the future would disappear in the brightness of the present. For just a moment, they’d be Mommy and Sky Sailor again. She wanted that more than a sugar addict wanted their next cupcake. She went to the bathroom to grab some foal powder (It was very good for chafing from Soarin’s flight suit after all), along with some foal wipes she had to remove the make up she occasionally wore, and approached his bedroom, and knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Her son’s voice came through the door.

Sky Streak entered. “I’m going to bed, honey. So I need to help you before I do.”

Soarin’s face went beet red, but he nodded, remembering his mother’s earlier warnings. “Okay.”

Sky Streak nodded, careful not to show her excitement, as she took the package of diapers from the nightstand. She set down the wipes and powder, before she went to open the plastic. It came apart with an audible rip that made Soarin wince. She grabbed one, the smooth feel of the plastic bringing back memories in itself, as she set it down.

She turned to Soarin, who was sitting up, body rigid with embarrassment. “Lay down for me, honey.” She couldn’t help herself from saying what she’d said to him all those years ago when she’d done this very ritual. Soarin complied stiffly, and yet there was something very soothing about the way his mother said the words. Sky Streak nodded, and grabbed the supplies, setting them at the end of his bed now. She unfolded the diaper, and the crinkling noise made him cringe. Even though he knew it was necessary, it was still so… abnormal. Sky Streak took this as a good sign that he wasn’t wiggling, and grabbed a wipe to clean him off. Though it wasn’t necessarily a first step always taken in the process of diapering some pony, she thought this time it would be necessary considering what his body had been through. She lifted his back legs, and slid the diaper beneath him, before beginning to wipe him. He nearly kicked her in the face from the sudden cold, to which she profusely apologized. Then, when that was done, she took the foal powder and lowered his legs.

Soarin didn’t quite have words for the sensation of being lowered onto a diaper. It was cushier than he’d have thought, and yet plastic too, and it was confusing. And yet, there was some sort of odd sense of comfort with it, one he didn’t know how to explain. Sky Streak thoroughly powdered him, and then she took the front of the diaper, pulled it up, and taped it snugly in place. She looked at him, and he looked somewhat dazed. She took it as a good sign that he wasn’t completely red in the face and put the Powder and wipes along with the diapers in a small cubby for future changes. Then, she went to her son and gave him a kiss, shaking him from his daze. 

“Goodnight, Soarin."

“Night, Mom.” He said.

With that, Sky Streak retired for the night, leaving her son with his thoughts.
> Padded Reflections And Diapered Dreams
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Soarin lay there on his newly padded flank, he was awash with sensations, both physical and emotional. His diaper was rather cushy, but also somewhat plastic, and it was somewhat confusing for him to think of them both melded together- even though that was exactly what this was. The plastic portion of it gave off the telltale crinkling that told other ponies a diaper was being worn, and it was such a strange sound to hear- not because the sound itself was necessarily odd, but because something about it plucked a string in his memory from a very long time ago- something just out of reach that he couldn’t quite grasp. 

As he took stock of these physical sensations, he also kicked a hoof experimentally. Certainly, he was used to clothing restricting his range of motion, considering his workwear, but he knew intuitively that this would be something he would have to adjust to. If- Celestia forbid- He was close to leaking in the night and needed a change, he would need to be able to run if his wings were too sore to carry him (as they usually were at their weakest in the middle of the night). So, he got to his hooves with a bit of trouble, and began to walk. The diaper made walking difficult. The padding, though not as poofy as he might have once feared, was enough to restrict his ability to move quite a bit. He suddenly realized why foals waddled everywhere, and saw that he may just have to do the same.

Walking around in his diaper was an odd experience. Hearing the crinkling that came with every movement was a sort of echoing reminder of his problem, and he didn’t like that one bit. And yet, as he walked, he found it oddly reassuring. The waddling would  take some getting used to, certainly, but the padding between his back legs reassured him that were he to have any accidents, he would be protected from making a mess. That, at lest, was some cold comfort. All of these physical sensations came with emotional counterparts. The crinkling coupled with shame, and the waddling his embarrassment, but the reassurance came with something it took him a few minutes to place: curiosity.

At first, he didn’t understand what that sense of curiosity was for, and then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit him all at once. What was it going to feel like to use his diaper? Several other questions, naturally, came along with that. Was it going to be even more difficult to walk after that? Just how much could this diaper hold? Would he need to go to his mother for a change? What would she say or think of him for using it? 

The questions swirled around in his head, until they became a cocktail of nonsense. His head was beginning to hurt from all of those questions that now, it seemed, couldn’t be untangled from one another and just plucked out for examination one at a time. So, going back to his bed to lie down, he tried to focus on the emotional part of it.

His embarrassment and shame went hoof and hoof. A grown stallion forced to wear diapers to keep his bed dry was not normal, nor a natural phase in development. Certainly his doctor could have given him a book full of platitudes for why he shouldn’t feel that way, but just because he said those things, didn’t mean Soarin didn’t feel them. He could only imagine the absolute shame to be heaped upon him were his teammates to ever find out. Thunderlane, Fleetfoot, Blaze… The only pony he might count out of that was Spitfire, since she, at least, would know why he was wearing them. Still, he didn’t want any of them to know. This was his burden, and he had to shoulder it.

The curiosity, though, was also there. It was strange though. Because one of the questions earlier that he’d shoved away from his mind before he’d ever counted it among the questions swirling about his head was would he like it? Honestly, he’d wanted to slap himself for that one. That question hadn’t felt like his own at all. He’d had moments in his life before where thoughts in his head hadn’t been his own, and when he’d followed them, interesting things had always come. But he didn’t want anything interesting to come of this. This wasn’t something to be proud of, it was to be shamed. Society had certainly ingrained that much into his brain. It was one thing, certainly, to enjoy cuddling with your mother or to occasionally play with some toys. Those things, at least, were marginally acceptable and explainable. But this, wearing diapers and possibly enjoying them, was something that society wouldn’t ever understand.

Frustrated with his thoughts and emotions all being out of whack, Soarin took his next dose of medication for the day, and went to sleep.

His dreamland that night was Wonderbolt Stadium. Crowds of hundreds cheered, waiting to see him perform his stunts alongside his teammates. The show was just climbing to the big finale. Spitfire on one side of him, and Blaze on the other, flanked him. Rainbow Dash was far overhead of him. As he would fly up, Rainbow Dash would encircle him and do several jump-like maneuvers to make a flower, of which he was the center after he made the stem. Spitfire and Blaze broke away from him, as he flew up to make that stem, and as soon as he hit that point where he was to stop and be the center of the flower- the crowd seemingly burst into laughter without warning. Looking, he saw Spitfire and Blaze staring at him too. Rainbow Dash seemingly kept on with her formation, creating a rainbow of petals near him, but when he looked down, he saw the source of their laughter. The well defined bulge of a diaper was under his flight suit, and was apparently expanding rapidly. Rainbow Dash, in keeping her framing of him going, was only making his shame more festive. The laughter of the crowds was so loud it hurt his eardrums. That, plus the weight of the diaper, caused him to go find a cloud to land on. He covered his eyes and plugged his ears with his wings, thinking go away, go away, go away, go away…

And then, suddenly, all was quiet, and Soarin dared to peek out from behind his feathers. What he saw awed him.

Silencing his hecklers was The princess of the night herself, Princess Luna. Luna came down onto his cloud, as the ponies in the stadium and Wonderbolts above him seemed to vanish.

“P-Princess Luna!” He stammered. “This is a dream…?”

“Yes, my friend. I assure you, you will open your eyes fairly soon and awake in your own bed. But, when you wake, the nightmare will continue, because you are hiding from it instead of facing it.”

“I don’t hide!” He protested immediately. Then, remembering who he was talking to, he shrunk back. “S-Sorry.”

Luna smiled gently at him. “Anger is born out of fear, Soarin. It manifests itself because of what we don’t yet understand ourselves.”

“What’s there not to understand? I’m wearing a diaper because of an infection, and I’m afraid of being humiliated. That’s it. It’s the end of the story.”

“Is it, though?” She asked him. “I’ve seen many nightmares in my time, Soarin. I’ve seen the nightmares of fillies and colts, as well as mares and stallions. In my experience, nightmares are only this vivid and especially distressing when they are either deeply afraid, or covering something up. In many cases, it’s both. Will you allow me to show you something?” She asked him.

He nodded. “What do I have to lose?”

Luna opened a white swirling portal near them, and both ponies stepped through. A starry expanse of space awaited them, all filled with different doors. As Luna went forward a foot or two, he recognized the door she stopped at. It was the door to his mother’s bedroom, inscribed with her cutie mark. Before she opened it or entered it, She used her horn to cast a spell on herself and Soarin. 

“This spell will let us go unseen, untouched, and unheard.” She told him, before opening the door. He simply nodded and followed her.

All was bright for a moment, and then the dream came into view.

It was their home, but the furniture looked much newer, and many stains were gone. Just as Soarin was about to ask Luna what was going on, the silhouettes of two ponies coming down the hall came in, and he quieted. To his utter surprise, it was his mother, and his father from what he’d seen of him, with his mother carrying an infant version of him in her hooves. Sky Streak and Breeze Chaser looked at one another lovingly, and shared a kiss, before looking down at their baby.

“We sure made a miracle, didn’t we?” Sky Streak smiled.

“We sure did.” Breeze Chaser grinned, before pulling Soarin into his own hooves, and tossing him up in the air. He squealed at the sensation, and joy radiated from his face. Sky meanwhile, was laughing and smiling as her husband played with her son. She radiated a kind of peace and contentment that Soarin himself had never seen. When he turned to Luna, to ask what was going on, she anticipated his question.

“This is a memory your mother has from your infancy. It is very much a happy dream for her. I brought you here, Soarin, to make a point to you. Your deep fear, along with what you wish to hide now, is that wearing these diapers makes you feel comforted, and on a subconscious level, reminds you of the father you lost too young. What you fear, and what you hide, even just by your expression a few moments ago, is that your fear it could make you happy and be something you want. But looking at this dream… I don’t think you are the only one who feels that way.”

Soarin glanced back to his mother as he tried to process those words and make sense of them. In the time Luna had spoken, Sky Streak had taken hold of his infant self and was blowing raspberries on his tiny belly while he squealed and squirmed. It made him smile a little, before turning back to the night princess.

“I don’t understand something. Why is my mother having this dream? Of all the memories she could have picked, why this?”

Luna smiled. “Do you really think you were the only one who found comfort in those diapers? Your mother seemed to have found comfort in them too, because it meant she could take care of you. I’ve been in enough dreams of parents to know when they have a child getting ready to leave home, and wish to be in a time where they felt needed, and your mother is no exception to this rule.”

Soarin nodded slowly, understanding creeping in. “So what do I do now?”

Luna smiled a bit more at that. “You explore if this is something you want, or something that makes you happy. You don’t stop until you have the answers. If it is, talk to your mother, because as you can see I think she could offer her insights. Your journey of self discovery is a lifelong one, and this could simply be a small part of that. Leaving home often brings out things in us we did not know previously existed. I urge you to give this time, and see what it brings. In the meantime, I can promise you that you are not the first stallion to have this issue. I have seen many stallions with this problem, and the ones that have faced it have taken control of their nightmares. It is up to you if you want to continue hiding, but just know that you cannot hide from the one place you can never escape- your mind.”

Luna opened up the dream door, and she and Soarin walked back through to his dream door.

Soarin looked up at her. “Thank you, Princess, for helping me.” His smile was wan, but it was there.

She smiled in turn. “Anytime. I’m afraid when you enter back through the door, you will wake, so I must depart here. But should you find yourself in need, I shall return.” She promised.

He smiled, much bigger now. “Thank you.”

“Goodnight, Soarin."

“Goodnight Princess Luna.” He smiled.

As the princess walked down the corridor, he entered through his dream door, and the last image he could catch sight of was his mother’s face. 

Then, he bolted awake in bed.
> Wake In The Night
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soarin breathed heavily, jolted awake from sleep’s sweet embrace. His nightmare was beginning to dissipate now, but scads of it- the feeling of humiliation and vulnerability, the curiosity, and Luna’s words to him remained. It made him feel… exposed. Sensations came to him slowly in those moments of recovery from his dreamland. The feeling of his blankets against him, the dead weight of his own hooves- and something else. Extra warmth, and it wasn’t coming from his blankets. 

He did a double take, his mind slow to catch up with what he felt. Warmth? And when he shifted ever so slightly, to take his covers off, he felt warm wetness pressing against him. His face turned beet red. He had wet his diaper. 

Despite his embarrassment, which by all counts should have woken him completely, he was in an odd place where sensations overwhelmed his senses and made it near impossible to focus on anything else. Unfortunate as it may have been, the sensation dominating him now instead of warm blankets and the weight of his body was the warm wetness he felt pressing against him. It took quite a while to even realize what he thought about this. 

It was… Weird. It wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling. Not at all. It was more… disconcerting. It was disconcerting more because he wasn’t used to having anything on that was solely down there, and now there was, and it was so different from anything he could remember experiencing. He didn’t have any feelings to speak on about the wetness, but the warmth, at least, was okay. A dim memory of how it had felt when he’d spilt some warm cider on himself one Hearthswarming played without his consent. It was somewhat like that, except instead of napkins doing the absorbing, it was a diaper instead. 

With the sensations acknowledged, he began to be able to process some of his own emotions- only in a very general sense, though. He sensed his shame and embarrassment, but there was the feeling of vulnerability, exposure, that was more dominating. More than anything he just felt very… small. A thought tumbled through his mind that this is what toddlers must have felt like when they wet the bed, but he didn’t really recognize it as his own. The thought however, acknowledged itself in another way. 

Through his feeling small, he recognized that he needed to tell his mother he needed a change. He pulled his blanket around himself like a cozy robe, not wanting to feel the coldness of his body exposed to the air after being under the covers for so long. He sat up, and got to his hooves again, beginning to walk when he promptly fell on his stomach with a thud. The whine that came out of him ended up sounding more like a whimper. Had his mother or anypony else heard it, they might have thought it was the sound of a small child preparing to cry. 

This, of course, was not the case, but it left Soarin in an odd state of mind. He did not cry, he simply got up and vowed to be more careful when walking. But the fall shocked him in a way. The combination of seeing himself in his mother’s dream, the wet diaper, the now much, much more pronounced waddle in his step took his mind back to his toddlerhood, a time he couldn’t remember much of usually, because his mind was so focused on other things. It wasn’t necessarily the memories that he felt now, it was more a state of mind. The sense of the world being so large and himself being so small, and needing some help and comfort. So, waddling all the way, he made his way through the darkened hallway, despite the somewhat unnerving darkness that made him feel disoriented because his sense of vision was blocked, because the promise of comfort was too great to ignore as he made his way to his mother’s room.

Muscle memory told him where his mother’s room was, with the exact number of steps he needed to take. He grasped her doorknob after a bit of searching, and went inside. The room was brighter here. Moonlight could actually illuminate things here, since the curtains weren’t drawn as they were in his own room and there were no sources of light in the halls. The moonlight illuminated his mother’s sleeping form, and he felt impossibly small as he struggled to climb onto her bed the way he had as a toddler. Then, he crawled to her, gently shook her to wake her. 

Sky Streak took in a deep breath as she abruptly crossed the line between sleep and wakefulness. Her instincts, finely honed after years of being a single mother, had alerted her a moment or two before he touched her that her son was in the room. It was just a matter of waking herself up, which he’d inadvertently done for her. Finally, she turned to look at him, and in the pale moonlight could see the wide, innocent, and fearful look in his eyes. Immediately, she was awake, and reached out to stroke his cheek tenderly. 

“What is it, baby?” She asked, voice soothing and gentle.

Soarin, soothed by both her presence and touch, felt suddenly sleepy again. In the exhausted place he was in, combined with how little he felt, the sentence that came out of his mouth only made sense.

“I had an accident, Mommy.” He mumbled.

The way he said it easily transported her back a solid fifteen years. “You did? That’s okay, it happens sometimes. Let’s go get you cleaned up, okay sweetie?” She asked.

“‘Kay.” The word was covered with his exhaustion.

Sky Streak went around to him, and helped lead him to his room by the hoof. It wasn’t unlike when he’d been little, because she’d always had to help him walk to accommodate his diaper. It brought back some wonderful memories. When she got him to his room, and his bed, he laid down with tiredness. Sky Streak smiled, as she quickly got everything she needed to change him. She removed his sodden diaper and balled it up, throwing it away, and wiped him clean. Then she slid a new diaper under him, powdered him, and finally taped him up. For Soarin, the only coherent thought he had was of his mother and how nice she was. His eyes were heavy again, but he managed to keep his eyes on her face as she came back from putting his changing supplies away. Her smile was comforting, and she leaned in to kiss him, and put his blanket back over him. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Soarin yawned and snuggled into his bed, inadvertently grabbing Doggie Do from nearby. “Night Night, Mommy."

Then, sticking a hoof in his mouth to suckle, he drifted off to sleep.