A set of new journeys call to a wannabe hero. A story about accepting failure and the beauty in struggle.
Previous story recommended for enjoyment of this one.
Fear has been living in Dryfield, Neighvada for three years, only occasionally traveling outside of it. A pegasus ghoul arrives, marking the end of an era. Before Fear knows it he's meeting a new, hesitant pony and the time has come to help his family with their endeavors.
It's a fight for life and freedom and who knows? By the end of it maybe the teenage colt will discover something new about himself.
Sleep was blissful. An unrelenting flood of serotonin that burned with contentment like a full body massage. A place where every little dream could come true with the slightest bit of thought, far more malleable than reality. There was no lack of comforting euphoria available, and it was such a harsh wake up when you realized that none of it was real, especially if you achieved your grandest dreams, whether it be getting that degree, saving someone else, vacationing to that ultimate spot, or anything in between.
Such wasn't the case for Fear. For one, he was always dealing with the aftershocks of trauma whether awake or asleep, it just took him awhile to remember what he should. Second, everything he dreamed was, hard as it was to believe, real. Being able to spend time with Princess Luna, his friend and old lunar guard Saway, or even the ancient stallion from the moon Nyx. Oh, there was also his sister who'd swallowed fate into herself temporarily, and was forever tainted by the exchange, but lately... that was neither here nor there. The occasional times they met up were great, it was eye-opening albeit exhausting analyzing himself so much in the therapy she provided, but it just wasn't...
Fear missed his old sister. When they could do anything and everything under the sun, always experimenting and chatting away. While it was nice she'd never fade away, it just wasn't the same. However, he was in the middle of one of those prime therapy sessions right now, having just finished speaking about how disturbed he still was by murdering Linebreiker. No matter how much Ameliofate told him otherwise, it still felt like he'd done the wrong thing, that he could have talked her down if he'd calmed down himself, if he'd tried to reach a compromise with her. He didn't have to kill her as thoroughly as he had, and it was one of many things that bothered him deeply on his road to redemption and, later, heroism. Even despite knowing it was in his nature to question everything he did after the fact, wanting to know if there were other options... someday maybe he'd get to use the Seer's Eye far more and realize those other options.
“Nearly everything about you and what you do,” Amelio's overly-enunciated, proper and melodic voice sounded out, “is driven by self-worth. Either because you do not have enough of it, doing things in order to comfort yourself because you do not have the motivation, or in order to salvage more of it. Your feelings revolve around it, and it is the primary driving force of most, though not all, mortals. It is why we escape through drugs, sex, hoarding, and violence. To help us heal. And often times we only end up making things worse because we feel enmity toward ourselves for hiding from our problems.”
Fear tried to come up with a reason why that wasn't true as Amelio paced back and forth. He always thought her pristine face and body were sorely sumptuous, driving a pike through his heart whenever he saw her. It was debilitating at the worst of times. And it kept him from thinking properly, even as his inner gaze sought out any excuse as to why he wasn't tied with the way he valued himself. But it was true, the more he thought about it. All his past guilt stemmed from it. His actions were in part due to feeling for others, wanting others to be happy, but the more he thought about it, at its very heart, his self worth was entwined with his conduct. The way he felt about himself depended on how he behaved. It was why he drove himself to be a certain way, to return to what he was like when he was a colt.
The 14... 15? Year old young stallion pressed a forehoof against his forehead, feeling terrible and selfish all at once, his stomach churning in his belly at the thought that he wasn't as selfless as he once thought.
“However, Brother, before you start beating yourself up,” Amelio continued, “you should know that it takes a selfless creature to hold themselves to standards like that, basing their self worth on a sense of empathy and camaraderie, on caring for strangers and trying to do the right thing. On focusing on the needs of others before the desires of yourself.”
The emotional whiplash was tangible inside Fear as he shifted in place, frowning deeply from being so easily mentally manhandled by Amelio's logic. He hadn't thought of that, and if he was being honest he never would have. He didn't want to tell himself he was a good pony. It didn't feel... genuine. But that was what this therapy was all about. Appreciating his voice for what it was, as important as every other creature's. Healing.
Ameliofate proceeded. “I know it will help to know that I have been... gazing. Scrying with my ties to Fate, and I have found that there are, albeit very little, pieces of Linebreiker's soul that refused to assimilate with the others in order to make a singular force of nature.” Amelio had her eyes closed, before twisting around to face a tentatively smiling Fear, his friendly, glowing sapphire eyes (as blue as Canopus) full of tears. There was a sense, whenever Amelio looked into them, that she was staring into a boundless ocean of tranquility, and it brought her to far away times because of it, times that connected to Fate as well as herself, the two almost one and the same, forever altered.
Princess Luna was, in a phrase, a fucking wreck with her desiccated body, ribs visible in the most grotesque of ways, belly so thin it was hardly even there and pulling up almost against her spine. Her legs were spindly and bony, face sunken and patches of fur missing here and there, her cutiemark barely surviving, and her starlight mane in grayed out tatters. Signs of age and destruction from what the Pink Cloud had done to her before she'd escaped to the world of dreams, where her life giving treasure lied. All of it screamed of a damaged mare.
Despite all that, Luna's eyes, especially now, were as strong as ever. She'd been through so many ups and downs in her life, especially downs, that she was wise beyond her years. Which said a lot given she was far over 1,200. “Like I said before little Fear...” her voice held incredible respect for the young stallion who had done so much good in a short amount of time, even if some of his decisions in the past had been questionable. He was primed for better things, and he could overcome the worst of things. Luna was sure that with her assistance, the two of them could overcome Fate itself – not that either of them wanted to try. “You may never have a chance to use the Solar Flare spell because it requires sunlight and an affinity for magic, but it is important nonetheless. Just in case.”
Fear hardly believed it was necessary, but being curious his entire life did a lot of things for him, and one was his insatiable desire for knowledge that wasn't math – he liked the cold hard logic of it but was far too impatient to go through the longest of equations. Always made mistakes. Luna had tried to teach him but he was just too antsy, his horn writing demonstrating that far too well through his scribbles. So, he was insistent on learning it anyway as they practiced in a place with faux daylight, a small chamber Luna had set up within her dreambubble for Fear to capitalize on.
Nonetheless, it'd probably be awhile before he really got the hang of it enough to actually use it for real.
“By the way, little Fear. What have you really been up to these past years? You rarely talk in depth about it.”
“Eh.” Fear wasn't too forthcoming, feeling sort of depressed about it by the tone of his voice. “Not much really.” He tried to find the source of sunlight within himself, and pull on the same up above him, trying to merge the two wavelengths. “I rarely ever leave Dryfield, and I spend a lot of time in bed not knowing what to do. I get out sometimes, but I never really... travel, you know?”
Luna nodded appraisingly, as if she knew more than she was letting on. “That is... too bad. Maybe soon you will find the strength to leave your home and start traveling again.”
With a shake of his head, Fear responded. “I don't... really know about that. I like hanging out in Dryfield and protecting it, doing things around town with family. I don't know what I could possibly have to offer the wasteland as it is right now.”
“What about your friends? You intended to help them out with their endeavors did you not?”
Fear glanced off to the side, having a hard time concentrating. “Yeah, I did, but I just haven't felt up for it. But the time is coming soon where we'll have to find a way to fight that massive creature and get to Abyssinia, or warn them in their dreams. Both ideas have a chance of falling flat though.”
Luna grinned slightly. “I believe in you little Fear. You've come this far, you will overcome this stagnancy and push through the hardest difficulties you could imagine. I am sure that after the... pseudo loss of your sister, you are intent on finding another significant other after all.”
Fear laughed. “Hey hey hey, watch where you're treading Luna.” He snickered and waved his head back and forth. “That's my business. But yeah, if I wasn't so bothered by Amelio leaving me I'd feel more comfortable picking up folk at Scavver's Tavern for more than just business.”
The princess frowned. “Have you not talked about these issues with Amelio?”
“Nah.” Fear looked to the ground. “How can you tell a therapist that was once your sister and significant other that they've completely ruined your motivation to get with another mare?”
Luna hmmed. “I suppose it would be hard. But I am sure you will manage it Fear. You have managed many other things. I trust you.”
Fear also managed a smile in that moment. “Thanks, Princess.”
“I'll be entirely honest, little Fear,” Freiya began, lifting a forehoof and dragging it through her curly, peppermint colored mane, “I'm proud of you for weaning yourself off of using the Seer's Eye for escape. You've made a lot of progress. For awhile I thought you were going to be lost to the addiction.”
Fear refused to look at Freiya, even if he always loved staring at the Stable 47 barding he wished he could wear. Did they even have it in his size? No matter how old he got he was hardly getting any bigger. He had hit his growth spurt a year or two ago and stopped at 3'2”. Everyone else was so much taller than him! The pangs of jealousy were very real. Maybe someday he'd grow to love his height, but today was not that day. “Thanks Grandma,” Fear uttered somewhat sourly. It was genuine gratitude nonetheless.
Freiya reached over and stroked her hoof along his shoulder, twisting up and over the back of his neck, then dragging through his mane. “Before I get to the important news, how has Sim been doing? You hardly ever talk about them all anymore.”
Fear cocked his head to the side, brushing a hoof against his other foreleg. “Eh. That's because constantly repeating myself sucks. But Dad recently put on a play called the Crucible. It's about a bunch of paranoia in Equestria. It's supposed to be a... a...”
“A metaphor?” Freiya asked.
The young stallion nodded. “Yeah that. A metaphor for war time Equestria when suspected zebra sympathizers were being absolutely ruined, but told through the lens of alleged Nightmare Moon sympathizers back centuries before.” He grinned a little at the idea. It was interesting to be sure, hearing all of those ponies talk old timey, far before him.
Freiya smiled brightly, her mellifluous voice flowing across the blank dreambubble they were sharing space in. “That sounds pretty extravagant if I do say so myself – very dramatic. I wish your father could come to the Stable and put on those plays for us sometime.”
Fear grinned like a doof. “I'll ask him if he'll be willing to travel for it.”
“We'll certainly make it worth his while, though we don't have too much to give.”
“Yeah yeah.” Fear shook his head a little. “I'll let him know. I'm sure he'll be more than happy to get a chance to perform for you guys. Anyways, what's the big news?”
The field of ghouls was terrifying at most, and absolutely grotesque at least. The shambling, deteriorated bodies of ponies long since passed, kept alive simply by mutation and radiation coursing through their dilapidated forms. Ribs poking out and joints exposed, tendons and other sinewy muscles revealed stringing across bone. Nonfunctioning organs able to be seen between rotting flesh, sometimes a jaw or a tail or something even more personal was missing from the equine, be it a pegasus, a unicorn, or an earth pony. Occasionally you could see the brains through crumbling craniums. It was a mess, and the stench was Godawful, kept at bay only by the magical necromantic energies flowing through every single one of them.
Fear looked out on the expanse with a steely gaze, occasionally shifting in place and swallowing hard, trying not to gag on the aroma of carcasses wafting over the gentle breeze in the desert. His lunar guard sword and M1 Gallop held on either side of him at the ready in a warm, white telekinetic aura, his horn caressed by the same chromatic energy.
Simulacrum, his dazzling father stood at his side, holding the ivory-handled ebony carapace knife in his teeth to keep the weight off his magic. Next to him was Gentler who dug his greaves into the dusty ground. Occasionally he knelt down and dragged his gauntlets through what little sand there was, his cloak barely fluttering behind him, his sharpened fangs gritting together. Fear came up to his thighs, while Sim came up nearly to his chest.
On Fear's other side stood a hesitant yet confident Faithdriver, occasionally gnawing on her lower lip and holding her alicannon slung across her back, a hoof threaded through the handle like it was a hammer.
“Fear, you should go after the big boss you mentioned earlier.” Gentler's calm, cautious, stoic feline voice filled the air that was only joined by deathly moaning and the trampling of hooves against cracked ground. “You're the most capable one among us, as dirty as it makes me feel to say that.”
The young stallion glanced to the tabby Abyssinian close to him.
“It feels like just yesterday I'd met the tiniest colt imaginable and put him in his rebellious place by beating his shit in until he couldn't walk anymore.”
Fear shot Gentler a stupid grin, nodding his head upward. “It's been, what, three years since then? Maybe more? I fucking wreck your ass on a near daily basis, that should be history by now.” The young stallion's voice had a hint of amusement to it.
Gentler scoffed. “Tease me all you want, I win in our spars now and then.”
“Only 'cause I let you win, mangy cat.” Fear stuck his tongue out at Gentler.
“Eh, I heavily doubt that. You're just a big softie, holding back's gonna get you killed.” The Abyssinian shot Fear a wink.
“Whatever!” Fear squeaked out. “We're friends. Besides, the sly eagle hides its talons.”
“Sheesh Nightlight,” Faith's composed, powerful voice resounded, “when did you get so dramatic and pretentious?”
Sim guffawed over the handle, his laugh bitonal in nature, but comforting rather than unnerving. “Probably all those books he's been reading.”
Fear half grimaced, half grinned, cocking his head to the side and gazing out at the approaching hoard. “Hey now guys, it's not fair to gang up on a colt like that. I'm gonna bring karma down on all of you if you keep that up.”
Sim got sassy. “You wouldn't do anything, son, and we all know it. Keep dreaming.”
“Pfft,” Fear started. “You say that now but you know I'm a force of nature nowadays.”
Faith sat on her haunches and put a free hoof on Fear's shoulder. “Yes we all know you're strong Nightlight. Now why don't we disperse and take on this threat before it gets too close?”
The young stallion groaned out, rolling his eyes in a wide arch. “Yeah fine. I'm sure this guy's wondering what we're doing just standing here. Well team, let's wreck some shit!” Fear got low to the ground.
Faith was the first to bolt into action. “With pleasure.” The older mare with silver streaks, nerves frayed from having to fight such a huge group of ghouls, raced ahead as her heart hammered in her chest. “For harmony!”
Gentler's slitted eyes revolved in their sockets at Faith's drama, snorting slightly. “Why am I surrounded by nerds?” And with that he was charging into the fray as well, followed closely by Sim.
Fear was next to run in.
As the ghouls saw three ponies and one Abyssinian approaching them they growled and snarled, hissing out and forming an attack line, immediately going on the offensive, a few surging into action and lunging forward to bury their teeth into their new enemy and pummel them with their hooves.
Most didn't even get the chance to bite. As Faith jumped into a group of them and whirled her warhammer-like cannon around in a circle, bashing a few into each other and slamming another one back, charging it up with magical energies in the air all the while. Occasionally thrusting out and skewering one of them on the eddied horn and curving around to use a hindleg to yank herself free, she was a wild card, bashing skulls like watermelon.
The ghouls ahead of her, simpleminded as could be, tried to brute force her.
Faith aimed her weapon at the ground and fired into it, causing an upheaval of earth, jagged edges of rock vaulting into the air, a couple managing to shank a zombie or two and the rest of the upturned earth causing the ghouls to lose their balance, some falling on their face.
Sim led the secondary assault, while Gentler leap-frogged over Faith with a 'yoink.' They were quick to get into the action as well, with the Abyssinian throwing a fist toward one of the zombie's faces and shoving it into the ex-pony's mouth, all the way into the back of his throat and then pumping his fist downward into the ground. The power splattered the creature's skull into the dust. Then the tabby leaned on that fist and vaulted forward, pumping his leg out in a side kick and caving in another ghoul's throat. It nearly crushed the brainstem in the back and brought it crumpling to the ground. Gentler was quickly back on his feet and doing a variety of close quarters combat moves on the ghouls surrounding him.
As they became too much to handle though Sim was right up against his back, levitating his carapace knife up and pumping his turquoise magic into it, causing it to unravel before everyone's eyes and become a cloud of wires that lashed out, wrapping around limbs and skewering through musculature, fusing zombies into place and giving Gentler the opportunity to put a fist where the sun didn't shine, before kicking them into oblivion.
Fear was swift in galloping past them, leading the next assault, tertiary and primary all in one, reacting on empath instinct and cleaving his sword through a long series of enemies that about faced on the leader's command and tried to tackle him. The young stallion merely danced his way through, cutting, hacking, and slicing through ghoul after ghoul, the positive emotions he pumped into the sword making it come to his defense and slide between teeth before throwing off a rather persistent one, then decapitating it. He kept his rifle as back up, floating it behind him as he hacked through. All while tendrils of radiation exploded into the air from the source of it all and crashed into gored ghoul bodies, regenerating them and bringing them back to life, leaving the others to fight rejuvenated corpses, arising once more to do their master's bidding.
Freiya stood in front of Fear with a confident, yet wary smile. “All I wished to do was inform you of an incoming threat to Dryfield. A pegasus, non-feral ghoul by the name of Ghastly Feather is directing an army of ferals across the lands in order to cleanse it of impurites, and then himself, so as to pave the way forward for those above the clouds, at least that's what he's apparently preaching to his brethren, not that they can understand.”
Fear lifted an eyebrow, a look of distaste crossing his features. “All for the enclave? Why? What does he hope to gain?”
“I'm getting there little Fear.” She lifted a hoof and placed it on his forehead. A little condescending, Fear thought, but not the biggest deal. “From further scrying I learned he was once a magician with varying levels of success depending on the timeline, working for the Equestrian Military to keep up the morale at the behest of the Ministry of Morale.”
Fear let out a little snort as Freiya continued.
“He gallavants about how his transformation into a ghoul was a divine promotion to the real war front, where he will eliminate both the tainted Equestria and the evil Farasi for the Enclave's sake.”
Fear was impressed with the sheer amount of information his grandmother had managed to collect on the stallion. She had meant what she said when she'd told him she'd do everything in her power to protect him. The rest was up to him it seemed. “What kinds of tricks should I expect from an ex-magician?” Fear pulled a foreleg against his chest and smirked, as if it was no big deal, his ears flicking.
Freiya grinned, tilting her head to the side as she resumed debriefing him. “He was born with the same mutation as you, with crystalline nerves extending to his wings. He's an empath, Fear.” Fear's stomach churned in his belly, a look of surprise crossing his face. Though Freiya didn't stop there. “He wields pure radioactive force to heal his allies and kill his opponents with disease. It's going to take something big to bring him down for good given he's... probably eaten a radioactive rock. Further, his trick wingblades make him deadly in a close range fight.”
Fear was feeling a little more trepidation at the enemy he was up against. Still, it wasn't like he could just sit back and do nothing, and he definitely wasn't going to run away. There also wouldn't be time to try and talk him down as long as his ghoulie friends were busy attacking the town. He'd have to be swift and decisive. “Thanks Grandma.” Fear gave a confident grin once more. He could do this, he had to. The only other choice was death.
The young stallion had beheaded and delimbed more than a few ghouls in the swath he'd carved out for himself, the path he'd cut as if chiseling through flesh and blood, positive emotive energy keeping the various gore from sticking to his sword, though there was a little splatter on his fluffy, dark gray coat.
That was until he came to his destination, yellowish-white pegasus with nearly preserved body except for his partially de-feathered wings which were clad in blades. He had a near translucent glow to him, a lime green light radiating outward from him, X-raying his organs and bones from within. Part of his jaw was missing on second glance, and a magician's starry cloak clipped around his neck, coupled with a witch's hat on his head. His mane and tail thinned, a glorious platinum color. As if an imaginary sun had washed all the color out of him like a pair of jeans. There was an infernal frown on his tightened face, eyes glaring daggers at Fear as blorby, splorchy tentacles writhed from his body, slowly flailing in the air as if seeking to latch onto anything and drain the life from it.
Fear was quick on the draw, not that the same could be said for the pegasus. “Fuck, and my family called me pretentious, just looking at you makes me feel like I've stepped into a fantasy novel. You know this is the wasteland right?” Fear chastised Ghastly as he paced back and forth, acting like he wasn't scared in the slightest, showing no hint of fright nor disconcert. “You should probably leave and come back when you're dressed for the part.” Fear tilted his head up, stopping in place as the pegasus snarled at him. “And for Celestia's sake your posture is way too stiff! You're here for a fight, not a modeling competition.” Luna had shown Fear one of those. “Fucking get your act in gear if you're going to try to play pretend.” Ghastly's eye twitched, both of them widening a second later. And to add insult to injury, Fear jeered. “Also some stallion, your dick probably rot right the fuck off!” Fear's face was full of faux acrimony as he held a hoof against his chest.
Ghastly had finally had enough of the small, young stallion running his mouth off. “SILENCE! WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW YOU INSIGNIFICANT SPECK OF DUST!?” His voice was full of rage.
Fear smiled like a doof. Unlike all the other ghouls Fear could feel a sort of pseudo soul residing in the pegasus, as if part of it had been left behind and was waiting for the body to officially die before it could move on. Only that would probably never happen. He could feel the emotions, just not hear the soul inside of it. It felt good to feel that supposed soul rage against its confines, having been taught by Gentler to throw his enemy into a frenzy to make them make mistakes.
Ghastly took that smile as rubbing salt in the wound, and lashed out with one of the tendrils of radioactivity, the blorby tentacle sweeping across the ground. “You insolent little clod you think you're smart!? You think you're funny!? Making fun of my glory!? My divine mission!? You think you know me!?”
Fear was busy ignoring the stallion, taking a deep breath and seeping into the ground with both his weapons, becoming one with the shadows cast by the rippling cloud cover above. Only a scouring darkness revealing his position. He felt the vibrations being cast by the pegasus as he surged across the ground, feeling the radiation pass over him as a gentle fizzy warmth, like downing too much sparkle cola. The young stallion raced across the ground before jumping up out of it from behind Ghastly, twisting around in the air and spinning this gun around to press the muzzle against his skull.
Ghastly didn't know what to make of any of it, having been so distracted trying to call Fear names his body froze up.
There was a loud bam. One of eight bullets down.
A visceral squelch of brain matter exploding outward.
But the body didn't collapse.
Fear took another deep breath and dove back under the ground, knowing the stallion wasn't dead, intending to reappear somewhere else as the pegasi's body reformed, bits of brain regenerating at a rabid pace, his skull and mane being restored as if he'd never been hurt at all, as if the dead body had been snapshot and that's what it would always return to.
Ghastly stared at the ground, looking for Fear, now using his empathy to sense where his body was traveling to, thrusting the tendrils of radiation into the ground in an attempt to drown him out.
Fear and his gear was made of nothing more than shadows and magic in that moment though, unaffected by the sickness. But he couldn't come back up for air as long as the radiation was covering his exit. He quickly pulled away, getting out of range, and popping up out of the ground, aspirating as he leveled the gun like a pro while hanging in the air for a few seconds, lining up the shot.
A second bam, a second bullet used.
The shot punched through Ghastly's body, doing nothing more than vibrating on the spot as it quickly healed, flesh becoming effervescent as it was repaired.
Fear took another deep breath and dove back down.
“You can't keep running from me you imbecilic pest!” Ghastly cried out as he tried to grab Fear with his tendrils.
The young stallion jumped out of the earth on his side, in an area where it was still cool, and brought his sword around to lop off his head.
Ghastly was prepared though, trying to lure Fear into a false sense of security, bringing up a wing and trying to slash through Fear's jugular with the blade.
Fear saw it coming though and slipped back into the shadows, latching onto the underside of Ghastly's wing and zooming across his body to pop out from under his cloak.
Ghastly's hackles rose on end as he snapped his head behind him, jumping forward and reaching out with a tendril of radiation.
Fear's eyes widened as he saw death look him in the face, unable to connect to any shadows from this far away, and did the only thing he could do, shoved his body out of the way with a burst of telekinesis, causing him to skid across the ground as the tendril of radiation slammed down where his body just was. He then lunged forward, trying to stab Ghastly through the barrel.
Ghastly brought up his wing blade and blocked it, throwing the sword up into the air and twisting around, intending to slash across Fear's chest with the other wing blade.
Fear ducked, already breathing hard from being in the shadows so much, using his small body to his advantage and bringing the sword back down onto Ghastly's spine.
The pegasus hardly reacted in response as the sword dug in deep, hitting the rock in his belly and causing it to jostle.
Fear grimaced and tried to breathe deep, falling into shadows again, leaving his sword behind but bringing his Gallop with him.
Just in time too as Ghastly reached out with another slash.
Fear popped up behind him, lining up another shot and firing, the bullet pulsing through him and blowing away his rear end for a singular moment and striking the rock, nearly shattering it. The young stallion grumbled, recalling Freiya's words that it'd take something big to take him out as he dipped into the shadows again, another tendril of radioactivity flailed at Fear to glide through him and leave him lethally poisoned.
Ghastly let out a cry of rage, getting fed up with Fear and his antics and finally deciding to end this once and for all. He'd noticed the young stallion had to come up out of the shadows for breath eventually, he could hear how despite barely physically moving at all his breathing was growing labored. With it he pulled radiation from the rock inside of him, and his own power, and released a blanket of the green venom, settling over the ground in a large radius around him. Fear would have to come up for air soon enough. There wasn't enough time for him to get away. “Give up! Either poison yourself or die by suffocation you hellish colt!”
The young stallion was hardly one to give up, sliding under Ghastly's body and separating the shadow of his Gallop from the shadow of himself, pushing it up out of the air and pressing it against his side.
“Hah! Foolish attempts!”
Fear wasn't done, reaching out with his telekinesis and latching onto the rod-like handle of his sword, twisting it inside, creating a hole, and then yanking it out with a shluck, only to plunge it into where he was sure he felt the remnants of that soul – his skull, and drilled it down as deep as it'd go, skewering right through.
Ghastly's body froze up, eyes crossing over his snout as his concentration was interrupted from the brain damage, unable to heal properly with blade stuck in his skull. The blanket of radiation receded back into him on instinct, trying to dislodge it and heal the vital damage.
Fear surged out of the ground, pumping his hindlegs into the ghoul boss' ribs and shattering them, forcing his body into the air as he popped free, taking a deep breath. The young stallion swept his Gallop up, lining it up with the underside of Ghastly's body and fired while the sword wound was still mildly fresh. The bullet screwed through the air and pounded into the rock, causing it to shift, lifting up to the surface, and cracking it.
Ghastly's eyes nearly plopped out of his skull from everything that happened to him in one moment.
Fear submerged himself back into the shadows as Ghastly fell onto the dusty dirt in a heap, still trying to shove the sword out of his skull so he could repair the damage with radiation. Fear hopped up out of the earth next to the ghoul, his vision vignetting from not getting enough of air, and reached out with his telekinesis, prying the rock free with one desperate show of force, oomphing it out of his back and into the air and throwing it as far from them as he could, his hooves tingling a little touching Ghastly's chest.
The pegasus ghoul's body then went still, the brain damage becoming permanent. No matter how hard he tried to use what radiation was left, it wouldn't work, until it was all draining from him.
Fear let out a cry as he schlupped the sword out and with one deft swing brought it down onto the back of Ghastly's neck, chopping off the offensive headpiece, and killing him once and for all.
The young stallion plopped onto his belly, trying to catch his breath, chest heaving and falling rapidly. All as the high of victory, a sensation he hadn't felt in what seemed like forever, penetrated his body and pumped euphoria through his brain, leaving him light, airy, on cloud nine. So much adrenaline and the sheer endorphin release... everything was suddenly so fantastic, his consciousness stretching out like it was made of elastic. He rolled over onto his back, smiling up at the sky as the rest of the ghouls were taken care of, a dull laughter escaping his lips from every close call he'd just been through. Using every method at his disposal except for the Starlight Shredder, a difficult spell to perform even under the best of circumstances, even nowadays. His bloodlust, he found, was as bubbly as ever despite being latent for so long. It felt good to kill for the sake of others.
And it'd never stop, the occurrence lighting a fire inside Fear's soul. Everything about him had been dormant for so long aside from constant practice, but now... now everything was falling into place.
The rest of the day had been spent celebrating with a subdued party – another threat eliminated. All while Fear's will was alight with thoughts of travel and exploration once more, the once dormant, traumatized part of him desiring movement and action. There was one point, a year or two into his time at Dryfield he'd thought about taking all his baggage and traveling away from his home and family all alone in order to find some semblance of peace away from his own thoughts, a guaranteed way to heal. He'd scryed ten or so alternate realities before making his decision, realizing that no matter how hard he looked it wasn't going to change all the things that could go wrong, or all the things that could go right.
The key determining factors were: he just didn't know if he had the motivation, and he had a responsibility to be there for his family when the time came, and who knew how long his journey would have taken?
Sleep would have come with ease if not for the sheer excitement cutting through him and leaving him a folded paper chain of consciousness, pieces of him wanting to sleep and others wanting to stay up and immediately go about exploring one of the final labs in the Dryfield area with his father. There had been trepidation purely due to it being the final one, not knowing what he'd find. The magic would be lost if it turned out to be nothing exceptional, and gazing into the Seer's Eye to learn what the lab held felt like cheating.
However, despite all that it wasn't long until the relatively drunk Fear (still having trouble holding his liquor) was passed out and back in the dream world to tell his extended family just how everything had gone. There was a little celebration in his sleep as well from another job well done, a tiny dream party with refreshments crafted solely from memory, with things like punch, cranberry apple juice, sweet cake, and frosted cookies. It was a group effort, and hardly had the same effect as the real thing, but nonetheless the sharing of experiences was good enough given the wasteland on the other side of the veil.
Fear was taking a break from the cacophony of stories and good will to have some time alone with his thoughts in the courtyard. He wasn’t quite so lucky though.
It started with a soul whispering to him. It was like a formless rubic's cube, constantly shifting and always making such glorious little patterns with the surface that were often surreal and incomprehensible. It flowed like a river and never seemed to stop. It was a familiar sensation, a sensation he'd only felt for the briefest of moments three or more years ago.
Then came the voice. “They were right! Big things do come in little packages.” The voice was deep, mischievous, with a discordant lilt to it that Fear couldn't place. He glanced around, taking a few steps forward.
“Who's...?” It took a few moments, something clawing at his memory to be let in but he couldn't place it. He'd heard this before. “Dis... Discord?”
“Shh. Keep it down Fear. This is just between us.”
One of Fear's eyes hooded while the other widened, brow raising. “What do you want with me? What are you doing here? You know, as hard as it is to believe, Princess Luna misses you right? How are you in the dream space?”
Discord's left bird hand popped up out of nothing, each talon extending as he listed off an answer. “One, I just wish to talk to someone whose emotional state is always changing. Possibly more chaotic than even I'm used to.” A lion's paw permeated and sliced at the air, leaving a gash lingering in the middle of space, like he'd cut open the dream bubble. “Scratch that. Nothing can be more chaotic than me.” Fear got the distinct impression Discord was looking at him condescendingly, if only because of his voice and the emotions now forming in front of him. “Two, it's long past time we had a little discussion, just you and me. Three, Luna's feelings hardly matter right now. Maybe I'll see her again, maybe not. That's not for you to concern yourself with – my business. And fourth, I'm dreaming, duh.”
Fear rolled his eyes, sitting on his haunches and crossing his forelegs over his chest. “Wow, rude. You can't just leave others waiting on you, missing you and wishing you'd come back.”
Discord grumbled. “You're not going to let this go, are you?” His aged head and slim, brown body formed in the air and soon Discord was leaning, floating on his side with his paw holding up his head. “Let's just say I've had my history with Luna and I'd rather not see her right now. I've had my history with everyone, and it's high time that was left in the past.”
Fear shook his head, unamusedly gazing at Discord whose soul felt as if it was peeling apart, hardly much power left. “The past might be behind us but we can still start fresh.”
The draconequus tumbled about in the air before stopping himself, eyes rolling around in his head in a jumble. “You are so stubborn! Fine! I'll consider seeing her again. That's not why I'm here!”
“I'm stubborn? So are you. You sound like an overgrown foal!”
Discord, without legs, hung in the air for a little while longer, before eventually grinning. “I see now why the wasteland has so much trouble containing your big personality.”
Fear took a few steps back as if he'd been struck. “And what do you know of me?”
Confetti rained down around Fear as Discord threw his hands into the air, lacking the exuberance he used to have. “That's the million cap question! What has our little contestant won?” Discord snapped his talons and a copy appeared, dressed up and with a voice like that of a game show host.
“A lifetime of fluctuating misery and happiness!” The original draconequus clapped his two hands together a few dozen times at a rapid pace, whooping and whistling as the second was dismissed in a puff of smoke.
Fear grimaced. “Just get on with it.”
Discord just beamed. “I know you're so sensitive you can't catch a moment's peace and that, like your sister, your brain is connected to magic and thus the world. I know that unlike me you're not afraid to hurt someone to get what you want, and I know that unlike me you're constantly questioning everything you've ever done because no matter what direction you take in life, you never find that final peace you've been searching for.” The implication was clear to Fear, he wasn't being taken by life in any particular direction, it was the other way around. Usually.
Fear planted a hoof against his forehead. “You? Not hurt others? Don't make me laugh. According to Princess Luna you did your fair share of causing trouble.”
“Ah ah ah,” Discord chastised. “Caused trouble. I never actually hurt anyone. Just made everyone's lives fun, interesting! And maybe a little inconvenient.” Discord's motions were boisterous and larger than life, constantly moving around and emphasizing his words. “Even when the world turned against me and used my own power for their own ends, when I escaped I tried to help the world and you can't prove anything else.”
The young stallion shook a little, not knowing what to make of any of this. “And... what do you want with me?” Suddenly he felt horrible about himself.
“You, my dear friend, are linked to chaos intrinsically. Unable to find balance, unable to find harmony in yourself, only in others. Like for instance, not knowing whether you should be of service to someone stronger than you or carve out your own little niche. Everything about you screams change, even your cutiemark. And it is that change in your emotions that generates your magic and makes you so apt for making a difference. Life just keeps handing you all this change on a silver platter and you hardly do anything with it! Until now.”
Fear vaguely recalled the manuscript Faith had found. Friendship is Discord. He wondered if Discord had anything to do with that. Probably not, that was crazy. He stayed silent for awhile. “Even if I was supposed to really make a difference like I told Mom I would I wouldn't even know where to begin.”
Discord waggled a finger. “Tut tut. That's exactly what you need in life. Every single time you've started moving it's because something came along and sparked the fire within you. Gave you direction. You had the inspiration all along, it just laid dormant until something excised it from you. It's going to be like that all your life. And it's other creatures that give you that direction.”
Fear snorted. “You say that like I'm supposed to be something important.”
“Virtues are incredibly important, and I have a theory about yours. But that's neither here nor there. You've been a horrible little colt, pushed in terrible directions by your environment. That doesn't leave you without blame however. You are a dangerous, sinful little creature always following your emotions no matter how awful it gets, others constantly bailing you out. You hardly have any control over how your emotions spiral because you're so young.” Discord leaned in close.
“Yeah I know I'm a shitling, tell me something I don't know.” Fear tried to push Discord away but he stayed in place.
“You even went so far as to completely obliterate Linebreiker even though she was just following her heart just like you.”
Fear twisted away, letting out a grunt.
“But some creatures do remember bits and pieces of their past lives so... you never know. And besides, I would be a hypocrite if I blamed someone for following their heart now wouldn't I? Wisdom and control comes with age and acceptance, though trying to be someone else completely will just destroy you.”
The young stallion wasn't sure what Discord was getting at, whether he was trying to be helpful or harmful. “And what does all this have to do with me?”
“Nothing...” Discord transformed into a beautiful golden scale with eyes on the front, moving the arms up and down as he glanced from side to side cartoonishly. “Extreme, per se. I just want you to know you're on the path to doing something really important, and I have my eye on you. And that I know you're looking for a new spark, the spark of self-love you lost ever since your sister left you again.”
Fear took a few steps back, becoming uncomfortable with how much Discord knew about him. It made sense though. Lurk around everywhere long enough and you learn things. But why was so much attention being placed on him? “Why are you even following me anyway? Kinda creepy stalking behavior.” Fear lifted a foreleg and held it against his chest, looking off and to the side.
Discord shrugged as he morphed back, nonchalantly popping off his head and rolling it back and forth across his shoulders and down his arms, catching it in his hands and tossing it back the way it came like he was juggling a basketball. It nauseated Fear. “Let's just say I've been paying attention to a lot of things, and I'm looking to heal the wasteland too, not that anyone important knows I'm around.”
Fear glared at the draconequus. “First I'm important, then I'm not important, you going to make up your mind any time today? Or is being wishywashy part of chaos?”
Discord hummed, little spectral music notes filtering from his lips as his head snapped into place with a gruesome crack. “In the grand scheme of things, Fear, no one is important and everyone is important. The future holds no certainties as I'm sure you know by now, anyone could be in your position as long as Fate is maintaining the illusion of free will. There are many who could easily take your place if events line up just so. Anyone can be held on a pedestal, what matters in the end is the present, and in this present you hold a lot of potential. Whether you will be able to achieve it or not will never be guaranteed. However – don't glare at me like that – if you choose to move forward from here on out, following the little ignition inside of you, you're going to discover you're not the imposter you think you are. As you've spoken to your... mmh, sister. The future may not be good, but it'll certainly be better than the past. All you have to do is take that step.”
The young stallion felt some of his concerns melt away at that. A sense of confidence overtaking him. Then he realized he'd been manipulated like a finely tuned machine. “You're pretty good at that.”
Discord shrugged, swimming back and forth in the air with long, heaving backstrokes. “Comes with the territory of being an entity of chaos. Everyone has their puppet strings. Normally I could just use magic to discord others and change them, but where's the fun in that?”
Fear's attention was divided, both thinking about how he'd decided the past was terrible in hindsight because he knew better now, but still great because at the time he'd been ignorant to what could have been, as well as focusing on Discord at the same time. A tad distracted. “I suppose so. It's kinda nice proving you can do something without relying on supernatural means all the time. Just what your mind can do.”
“See!?” Discord cried. “You get me!” Discord pulled Fear into a hug and gave him a rough noogie, digging a fist into his scalp.
“Ah! Hey! Stop! Bad touch!” Fear writhed and squirmed, kicking his hindlegs out as he was held in the air against his will, face screwed up in pain and annoyance.
Discord dropped him to the ground. “I knew we'd get along well enough. Just remember, keep moving forward and don't doubt yourself too much. There'll be time for that when your journey's at its end. Now buh-bye!” And with that Discord's form distorted into a swirl before zapping away with a flash of light and an audible 'pop' like the snap of bubblegum.
Fear was left in an inspired haze. Was it possible he could get a little something more out of Amelio if he played his cards right? Just one more fun little romp? Was he willing to attempt manipulating her in order to have a good time?
“So, Ame, I just thought maybe if we danced together it might allow for better therapy!” Fear's voice came out as a squeak.
Amelio narrowed her eyes at her brother, a hoof coming up and settling over her lips, eyes lidding a moment later as she twisted her head to the side, considering the argument. She knew exactly what Fear was up to, what he really wanted. And honestly it was innocent enough. Innocent yet intimate. She wasn't sure it would help him move on, having seen it coming a mile away, but... “fine. Let us dance. I will let you start us off.”
Fear's jaw fell open, blinking once. Huh? Fear didn't voice his concerns but it was clear on his face he wasn't expecting it to work. Was Amelio still into him even slightly? He knew there'd never be an answer without communicating with her, but he didn't want to hear the answer. He wanted to live in ignorance and just hold onto one fleeting moment of happiness. His jaw snapped shut and he glanced away, swiping a hoof across his snout. “Eh, I suppose I can start us off. But you're the dreaming expert, you got any songs from memory?”
A simple yet beautiful smile graced Amelio's face as she stared at her brother with amusement shining behind her strange yet pretty eyes. “Silly, you are the one always listening to songs on the radio. However... I think I have... something you might like.” She scoured her memory, muzzle scrunching up cutely as she searched, eyes rolling up and to the side.
When feeling a song in your dreams the lyrics and the notes echoed in the mind like subtle whispers, long past and barely comprehensible, and hardly memorable when you woke up. Yet there was always something much more amazing about it as the thoughts permeated in quick succession, flowing through a story you're normally the only one privy to. Some musicians remain inspired by the songs they hear within their dreams.
And that was how Fear felt as the music started up. Inspired.
The young stallion started off slowly, getting a feel for the music before letting it move his body, rocking from side to side on his haunches like a swaying metronome, his eyes glancing to wherever he leaned, occasionally twisting upward as he tapped a hoof on the floor, the echo less sound and more touch. Soon enough he was standing up on his hindlegs, gently swinging his forelegs to his right, bending them at the 'elbows,' clapping the hooves together like he was shaking a pair of maracas, then swinging to the left and doing the same. He did a curt stirrup, stepping in place like he was going up stairs and clacking his hind hooves against the floor. Fear cocked his head to the side, clapped his forehooves together, and undulated in place with eyelids shut, letting the music flow through his consciousness and motivate him.
Meanwhile Amelio started up as well. “You did tell me Mirage taught you all she and Grandma Emulae knew about dancing.” Her voice was soft as she stood on her hindlegs too, crossing her forelegs over each other and wiggling in place, then leaning to one side, her forelegs twisting over each other and tossing them to either side, then taking a dainty step forward, turning her head away from Fear, stepping back, and doing the same motion with her forelegs as before, and soon enough she was lifting a hindleg, pressing the hoof against her 'knee' and doing a little pirouette like a ballerina, eyes closed as well.
The two ponies' magic reached out for each other, telekinesis surrounding them, helping each keep their balance and mingling together. Fear felt Amelio's mind, and Amelio felt Fear's as air pressure caressed and twisted together, mixing with one another into a tornado of sensation.
Fear took a few steps back, shoved his forelegs out, and bowed his head forward.
Amelio took a few steps forward, shoved her forelegs behind her, and bowed her head back.
Both did a little spin.
Then fell toward each other.
Their empathy slipped and slid against one another, reading each others' movements and intent like they were watching where they put their hooves, allowing them to catch one another in their hooves and tumble together in a divine rotation, one of their forelegs pointing out away from each other. Next they stepped around each other as they held on tight, their telekinesis pressing against their backs and holding them up, white and black coalescing together like yin and yang, a sentiment that hadn't been expressed for a few years. They were eventually cavorting about, taking grand leaps with one another like they were jumping between glass platforms, occasionally only standing on one hindleg as they held each other both innocently and intimately.
Amelio understood Fear just wanted to move on.
Fear understood Amelio wanted him to move on.
Their innocent procession inevitably drew to a close, the two staring into each others' eyes, sapphire glow radiating over sapphire ellipticals. Odd and odd meeting together in such a way for one last time as Amelio held Fear's body with a foreleg, dipping him toward the ground as she leaned over him.
It was time to move on to bigger and better things.
Fear wasn't sure he was ready, but he needed to try. He'd promised himself he would.
“You know Fearei,” Amelio's flawless voice spoke to him, “as much as I wanted it too, it would have been wrong for us to procreate with one another. We should have been spreading our genes, not keeping a pure bloodline between the two of us. Though we did not consciously know it at the time, it was arrogant of us to keep to each other like that when there are other ponies who need that special little something the both of us can give.”
Fear thought about it. It was a tad annoying hearing Amelio preach to him, as if she was being haughty and holding her union over his head, like she was somehow better than him now, and while he understood it was arrogant and haughty to believe they had something special to give the wasteland – a sobering understanding... he realized the faint joy he got at the idea of keeping their blood pure was another supremacist idea, the kind of idea he hadn't had in some time. And it was then that he knew the very idea of their coupling had been wrong, whether they had anything unique to give or not. The time they lived in didn't call for such things. They had each other as much as they'd needed – as brother and sister – they didn't need to add romance to that as well. They should have been seeking someone else for that pleasure.
The young stallion gave a wanly smile. Yeah, he had to move on.
“Further,” Amelio continued to her silent brother as she got back on all fours, helping Fear do the same, “I want you to know that no matter what happens our ties will still bind us. Our connections surpass time and space and will always bring us together as one. If your consciousness is ever in trouble and you need my assistance I will be there for you. I can not interfere more than once though, so keep that in mind as you throw yourself into danger. After all, free will needs consequences otherwise nothing matters.”
Fear snorted. “And what about forgiveness?”
Amelio chortled. “Forgiveness is a facet of free will and comes with its own consequences. Consequences are not inherently bad things, they are just often associated with them. Now move along, we have spent enough time together.”
The young stallion finally left, albeit reluctantly. It was time to cultivate his other relationships.
“You know, it kinda sucks I never got to explore any of these labs for myself. Like the storeroom for instance,” Fear used as an example, “I would have loved to just be constantly going back and forth bringing cans of food to the settlement.” Things were rather stiff and stale around the father and son as they moved through sterile white corridors. The ventilation had stopped long ago due to backup power being diverted elsewhere, so there was a thick stagnancy that settled in the lungs and gave a dry mustiness, like the air in an abandoned house although made of metal instead of wood and paper. Their hooves clicked along the white tiles as they passed by some sleeping quarters and headed for the gunmetal gray stairwell leading downward, placed in a small nook a few nondescript halls down.
“You romanticize it too much son. I know you love scavenging but once you've explored one lab they all kind of mix together. I was just surprised this one didn't have much security in it.” Sim didn't want to squash Fear's enthusiasm but it was better than disappointment sometimes. He was busy carrying his own gear, saddlebags and carapace knife.
Fear considered that for awhile, humming and twisting his eyes to the side as they passed by an indistinct pneumatic door leading to a break room, and then later on a small janitor's closet. “What about all the juicy information about why the lab was built?”
Sim shrugged. “All wiped. That's why I saved this one for last. If there's anything left it's deeper in where only a pipbuck and hacking can get you through. Something happened to this place – it's completely empty.” They passed by a couple restrooms and security as they twisted down a couple more maze-like corridors, designed specifically to get ponies lost. It never seemed to end.
“That's depressing,” Fear sighed. “So what do you think this lab is for?”
“Honestly?” Sim asked. “Something to do with the environment because of the various testing chambers scattered on the second basement level. There was an aquarium, botanical garden, and some desert areas, all rather small. Though I suppose the third level throws off that theory a little, as well as the fact that Stable-Tec already had an environmental institute. There were a lot of tomes on barrier spells in one of the research labs, some of which were torn apart and ruined.”
“What, you think the place was raided?”
“Likely. Somepony didn't want this secret getting out to the world, yet due to all the unlocked doors it nearly did. The only thing remaining in the databanks down below is a map detailing all the rooms. The ones that haven't been investigated yet are the surgical lab and cryogenic room.” The stairwell was just as bland and plain as everything else that wasn’t a designated room.
Fear was, despite himself, getting a little excited, his tail hiking up, hackles rising, all while he glanced back toward the sword strapped to his back alongside his saddlebags. Storm's old saddlebags, covered on only one side with a multi-layered gray brain with three yellow thunderbolts splayed out beneath them, faded due to time. The other side looked pristine, brand new, made of bloatfly leather. “By the way, I keep forgetting to mention. Grandma Freiya wants you to come to Stable 47 and perform that Crucible play you did recently.”
Sim's eyebrows rose. “Hm? Really? It's still really strange to know you're talking to everypony in your dreams, but at least that means I know you'll be able to contact me if you need to.” There was a pause as Fear gave a singular nod. “I'll probably head over there soon then. Do you want to come with me?”
“Nah.” Fear shook his head. “Gonna head out with Faith and Gentler soon to get done what I need to. We're supposed to be heading to the old dragon lands and then Maneami to see if we can get a boat operational enough to travel to Abyssinia. That is, provided we can't convince them to be on edge in their dreams. Then again, if they don't remember them well enough it won’t matter either way.”
Sim glanced to his son. “You really like taking risks don't you?”
“Nah.” Fear stated simply. “But there's no other choice, is there?”
Sim grinned. “Storm would be proud of you.”
Fear looked to Sim. “Thanks Dad.” The young stallion's heart hammered in his chest, his mind busy with vague emotions instead of thought, too much permeating in his mind and leaving him nearly overwhelmed. It was an intangible feeling he couldn't put into words, the world calling out to him, a cry he couldn’t ignore. The world was hurting. Discord said he was trying to heal the wasteland. Was that even possible? Did Discord know something he didn't? Maybe he'd ask him.
Everything went silent for awhile until they got to the surgical lab, with Sim pulling the adapter from his pipbuck and stringing it up to the console at the door, swiftly scanning over the information that slid over his foreleg terminal at rapid speed. After a few button presses there was a hiss, then a kachunk as the door pulled away and revealed the interior. It was a hallway with a glass containment to the side, a stretcher surrounded by surgical gear beyond, some computers, and an array of strange equipment meant specifically for identification and splicing. Above and below him Fear also noticed vents meant for filtering gas in and out – probably a sterilization chamber before entering the lab proper? There were also a few skeletons littering the floor, still mostly intact.
What drew Fear’s attention, and then Sim's, was the body sitting on its haunches in the corner in front of another door’s console. It was a strange form, the most notable characteristic being the flowing soul patch on his face, the wavy mane and tail, just as black as the facial hair, and the red-tipped smoothly bent horn. The second feature that caught Fear's eye was its dark gray fur, similar to Fear's own.
“Uh, Dad?” Fear was incredibly skeeved out by the sight. Not because it was so dirty and degraded, but because... “why is there a completely fresh body here?” That wasn't the only thing. “I can feel its soul. It's alive. Somehow.”
Sim shuddered at the prospect, turning his head to the side. “I have no idea, Fear. The door was definitely locked before we came in so...” Sim's face was one of concern and uncertainty.
As Fear's heart thudded in his chest, leaving his head airy and light, eyes quivering in their sockets and taking a step back, the equine's eyelids peeled back too slowly for comfort, as if everything was suddenly moving in slow motion. Its eyes were the most alarming thing though: slitted red eyes with diseased-looking green corneas, purple mist sifting off the edges and flowing back like a mask.
“I smell... despair.” The creature's voice was dark and smooth like a creature of the night.
Fear nudged his father in the side. “Dad,” Fear started up, but stopped when...
A sudden miasma fell upon the room, expanding outward like an exploding star from the equine, who, as his lips pulled back into a snarl, revealed sharpened teeth. The sheer heaviness of the air constricted around Fear and Sim, clinging to their bodies and paralyzing the nerves, numbing the flesh and digging into the muscles, clamping down around them and leaving them incapable of moving.
Fear recognized it immediately as nightmare pressure, doing no more than letting out a squeak as he tried to bring himself to unsheathe his sword and become used to the change in air pressure, his knees buckling under him.
The creature's horn lit up with purple ether, taking the shape of a spotted haze unlike how regular unicorn magic looked. It expanded outward, blanketing the skeletons on either side of him – on further examination the ribs appeared to be nearly shattered – and after a short amount of time the bones jostled. Shook. Trembled. And rose. Rattling together as they slid back into place, ribs crumbling and leaving stubby joints leftover as jaws cracked into position. It was grotesque and made Fear's stomach turn, seeing pony skeletons manipulated in such a visceral, inappropriate way. As they stood there staring with empty eye sockets, their vacant holes took up a pair of renters, green light shimmering behind them and filling them up. Necromantic energies pouring through the newly designated puppets.
Fear's expression was one of horror, Sim's was steeled. The fatherly instinct inside of him told him to protect his son at at any cost, but at the moment he could hardly move.
Each skeleton lunged forward, digging their forehooves into the ground and spinning around, and readying to buck them in the face and smash their lights out.
Fear's telekinesis latched onto his sword. He pumped his desire to protect, as well as the fear for his life into it.
The sword slipped from the sheathe automatically, without any more prompting and flew through the air, slicing through the first skeleton's hindlegs, chopping them off, and parrying the second skeleton's buck, throwing it up and away with a powerful movement.
Surprise registered on the mysterious equine's face. “A lunar sword?” His voice was full of confusion. “Are you here for Project Ace?”
Fear launched into action, pulsing violence through his sword because he didn't have any other plan of action, the blade flowing through the air in a series of sweeps and hacks, cutting into bone and severing limbs, all while it was difficult to breathe, his pupils shrunk to pinpricks.
Sim was more than impressed, and finally starting to get feeling back in his legs. It was like jumping into the deep end of a pool and freezing up on the spot from cold shock. All he needed to do was get used to the miasma and he was fine.
“I don't even know what you're talking about! What's Project Ace!?” Fear was livid at being attacked, the sword thrumming in the air, crying out at the same time as the personalities embedded in the quartz were thrown into a frenzy from the emotive power. He couldn't move no matter how hard he tried, but he could finally cast spells.
“So you know nothing about Project Ace? Well, no matter. I was sent here to eliminate him and all who came here.” The equine got low to the ground, purple bubbles surrounding his horn once more, popping like sickly carbonation. Immediately darkness shrouded the entire room, consuming the light. Nothing but void as far as the eye could see, as if the walls had completely left them. Then the shadows came alive, stretching toward the two of them in order to hold them in place, darkness surrounding Fear's sword and catching it. The dark held it tight like an ebony spider web, sticking to it and subduing it like strings of silken weave. “Crystal hm?”
Sim and Fear had barely any chance to react as their limbs were suddenly bound, held in place no matter how much they tried to move. Sim struggled the most, pulling on his binds and trying to free himself from the shroud of shadows lashed across his body, smattering him in black. Fear meanwhile was putting all his telekinetic force into yanking and tugging on his blade, trying to retrieve it. “LET US GO YOU CREEP!” Fear was the first to demand.
The mysterious equine lidded his eyes, then tilted his head to one side. “No, I think I'll kill you. You may not know anything but I'd prefer to keep it that way. And who knows? Maybe I can take the pipbuck off that stallion's leg and hack my way into the cryogenic room and kill the one being hidden from me.” A sinister smile crept across his face as he felt Fear's form go limp from despair. It was strange that Sim was still struggling, fighting against his bonds.
“FEAR! Do something!”
“I can't Dad! I'm stuck! He has my sword!” The equine's will was overpowering his own, Fear couldn't manipulate the shadows nor merge with them!
Fear gagged and hacked as the shadows suddenly constricted around his stomach and neck, cutting off blood flow.
Sim cried out Fear's name again.
The mysterious equine spoke again. “You're a very determined stallion. But I'm sure seeing your companion die will crush you inside.”
Sim screamed and did the only thing he could think to do, manipulate. He built up power in his mind, behind his eyes, and let it pulse outward, a green flash surging across his irises like a metal sheen and hitting the shadowy equine hard.
Fear felt his father's intent. To save him. He knew the limitations of that manipulation spell. He suddenly felt the pressure on his own body alleviate and heard his father gack and gasp as the equine shifted his attention to Sim.
“Neat little trick but I think I'll kill you first just for trying it.” The purple magic surrounding the strange equine's horn increased, squeezing down on every body part in Sim's body to try and kill him as brutally as possible. The sound of bones cracking, joints popping, and muscle tearing was music to his ears.
Fear screamed. “NO! STOP!” As Fear remembered what Discord said, and every time he'd been bailed out by someone else and inherited the skills of others, the danger of the situation creeping into him, a sudden flux of emotion pumped into his thaumic gland as terror gripped his heart. He directed what power he could get to his horn though, casting a blinding light spell, causing the enemy to shield his eyes. What little of his blade was exposed caught the light and reflected it. Fear rocked in place, shouting out in his mind the only words that came to mind, intending to use all his magic if required in order to do it. STARLIGHT SHREDDER! Fear's panic addled brain was fervent, sending emotion sweeping through his head and being channeled to magic.
Surprise crossed the unknown equine's face as a field of bright orbs surrounded him, hanging in the air for a couple seconds before racing at him, dive bombing and attempting to sear through his flesh. It was enough to get the stallion to let go of Fear and Sim on instinct in order to bring the shadows to his defense and squelch the burning light.
Sim's body fell to the ground in a mangled heap.
Fear hit his hooves as he grabbed his sword. “You're not beating us that easy!” Fear yelled out as he raced toward the equine in the dark trying to protect himself from the array of stars coming down on him. So distracted was he that he didn't even notice the young stallion coming up to him and swinging the sword, his eyes going wide when the flash of steel caught his attention.
The blade carved through the air, slicing into the equine's neck, slashing apart fur, skin, muscle, artery and organ, then bone and cleaving all the way through the other side. The head remained on top of the neck for a few seconds as blood blossomed through the clean cut, before slipping off its pedestal and falling to the ground, thudding on the floor, a look of shock on the dying stallion's face. A fountain of blood squirting from the stub, before the entire body collapsed.
Fear canceled the spell, flicking the unwelcome blood off his blade before dropping it to the ground with a clatter when he was sure the body was finally dead. Light left the equine's eyes and the magic mist dispersed, revealing normal red eyes and white corneas beneath. He rushed over to his father's body sparing a glance back only to see a glowing black light that looked like someone's canvas sketch leap from the dead body and into his sword, making the entire thing shimmer with darkness. Fear hardly paid it anymore mind than that, quickly rooting through Sim's saddlebags and pulling out one of his spare health potions.
“Fuck I'm so glad I convinced you to start carrying one of these.” Fear swiftly popped it open and brought it down to Sim's lips, encouraging him to drink it down.
Sim wasn't one to fight the process, gulping it down despite how much it hurt his collapsed throat. It was so difficult to breathe, especially with a rib poking into a lung.
Fear turned around, sitting on his haunches next to his father as the close call rattled in his head. There was no euphoria this time. Someone else had nearly been victim to his powerlessness and it was solely an influx of emotions that had saved them. They probably would have died if he wasn't so sensitive to everything. Fear rocked back and forth, holding himself in his forelegs.
Sim coughed a few times as his body repaired itself seamlessly. “Re... relax Fear. You did fine. Things like this happen often.”
“BULLSHIT!” Fear yelped. “This was supposed to be an easy get in and go process! I wish there hadn't been anything new in this place.”
Sim grinned as he laid on the ground. “You don't actually mean that, son. You're just terrified of what we went through.”
“You shouldn't have been here! It should have just been me!”
“Shh... Fear. Relax. It's okay. We're fine. We're not any worse for wear. You're just scared of losing me.”
“Yeah well maybe I shouldn't be if you're gonna be this calm about it! We almost died!” Fear's voice was still full of panic.
“Thank you for caring about me, Fear, but I believed in you from the start. I just did what any father would have done. Now come on, let's see what this thing was guarding.”
Fear stopped rocking after a minute, worry creases on his muzzle, and slowly got to his hooves. “Do you need any help walking?” There was an exhausted monotony to his voice.
Sim let out a bark of laughter. “No. The healing potion made it easy. Now relax, we're fine. This is just another adventure in the wasteland. You've gotten really soft Fear.”
Fear glanced to the side, pouting. “Fine, whatever.” He moved over to his sword, sweeping it up in his telekinesis and looking at the gentle black glow still coming from a spot near the hilt. After analyzing it he recognized the symbol now carved into the metal. It was a kenaz, the same symbol Freiya told him belonged to the first Rei. Fear shrugged and sheathed it, figuring he'd ask Luna what it meant when he went to sleep later.
Sim hooked up the pipbuck to the console and started the hacking process. The pneumatic door eventually opened with a loud series of clicks and a hiss, letting them into the cryogenic chamber.
There were at least a dozen capsules lining the walls, and another one behind a terminal at the far end. Each one of them looked like capped eggs, with a light at the bottom. Some had an equine residing inside, with a red light at the bottom. The one at the far end of the hall had a plaque reading “Project Ace” at the base above a green light.
Sim spent no time at all making his way to the terminal and connecting his pipbuck again, trying to find any files that might be left over. Fear made his way over to him, first looking through the frosted glass at this “Project Ace.” Whatever he expected, it wasn't the normality before him. Science experiments were usually strange weren't they? Sure, Chrono was hardly strange on the surface but...
The first thing that stood out to Fear was the charoite colored coat of fur almost complementing the somewhat silken platinum laurel green mane and tail. The second thing that stood out was the fact that the hair was styled in the shape of punk dreadlocks. Fear leaned to one side in order to get a better look and noticed the odd cutiemark. A set of fractaling silver roots growing up toward asphalt gray soil, then transitioning into a stylized acidic green tear drop. Further, he was an earth pony on second examination, only slightly older than Fear was but certainly bulkier.
“Hey Fear, look at this.” Sim beckoned Fear over to the terminal's screen. “Read.”
Fear obeyed, looking at the words.
Whoever's reading this, I hope you're blessed by the princesses. I'm the secondary scientist behind Project Ace, also known as Acrid Root. The primary researcher in charge of this project was recently detained for leaking information, so I've taken over. After my colleagues and I were attacked by an Umbran, we holed up in here in an attempt to wait out what's on the other side. However I fear there may be no going back. In case we are somehow saved in the near future, I am sealing us all in the cryostasis capsules to await our rescue. But in the event that rescue is not coming, I am setting the system to divert all power to Project Ace's stasis. He was prepared as a counter to the eventual Umbran threat from the Frozen North. As an Earth pony his affinity for barriers, earth and metal manipulation, as well as temperature regulation have been heightened solely as a means to navigate arctic conditions should he ever be put into a position where he is alone. I hope whoever saves us and releases him will... The message cut off after that.
“What do you think the rest said, Dad?” Fear glanced to his father.
“I have no clue, but maybe he's meant to fend off those creatures that we just went up against?”
Fear shook his head. “I don't know. Why would he need barriers if that was the case?”
Sim pushed a hoof against his chin and thought about it. “Well maybe he's supposed to seal the black magic he was using? You can always ask Luna after all. I'm sure she knows something about it.”
Fear nodded. “I will. But let's let him out for now. He's gotta come out eventually.”
Sim looked back to the terminal and cast his telekinesis over the keyboard, typing in a few choice commands to start the decryo process.
Fear glanced around him at the other capsules. “It's a shame the others didn't survive. How long do you think they were going to have to wait?”
Sim hummed. “Well, given the bombs fell around the time that log was made...”
“Oh.” Fear looked up at Acrid's capsule again, watching as a metal arm came down from the ceiling inside with a few syringes full of chemicals, injecting them one at a time. He looked back to the screen, recognizing only one of the phrases, “Administering anticoagulants.” And soon enough the egg above them was heating up. The last message Fear saw fly across the screen was, “Vital signs nominal. Potential brain damage detected.”
When the capsule opened, Acrid fell forward and would have collapsed onto the terminal had Fear and Sim not caught him with their telekinesis. “Whuh... huh? Where am I? Where is everyone?” Acrid sounded dazed, hardly able to get his thoughts in order. He had a magnetic veneer, giving off the same aura as the kind of pony who could start a chain reaction with very little effort, like a chant in a stadium. Yet nonetheless he had a hesitant countenance about him, as if barely trusting.
Fear didn't know what to make of any of it. “Project Ace? Welcome back to the world of the living.”
Acrid looked up at Fear, exposing his emerald hued eyes. They almost reminded the young stallion of his mother.
Luna was impressed with Fear. Her eyes held such regard for the young stallion before her that they nearly shimmered. A smile graced her lips, one of amusement and pride, poofing out her chest a bit and extending her wings, floofing them away from her with what feathers were remaining. Within moments, as Fear stood before her with a little bit of discomfort from her gaze, those wings wrapped around him like an angel and held him close. “I'm so proud of you little Fear. You have gotten so good you managed to defeat an umbran. He may have been laying dormant for years, and therefore weak, but you have still done something incredible.” Her wings pulled back and to her sides again.
Fear swallowed hard. “Well I mean, Dad almost got killed, and so did I.”
“Combat always has the potential for casualties. You should keep in mind that there is always a loser when conflict occurs. If there is a winner, there must be a loser.”
Fear considered that, glancing away. “Are Umbrans really that powerful?”
Luna nodded. “In a manner of speaking, yes. They control necromantic energies, negative emotion, and shadows intuitively among other things. They are natural born black mages. They feed on fear, depression, and so many other terrible things.” She held her head with a hoof. “That is why they were sealed all at once in the Frozen North so long ago. Because fighting them one-on-one, especially as a massive force, is impossible. Most ponies who fight them do not live to see another day, and it is only the best heroes of the past who have managed to counter them. It takes not only talent, but skill and hard work.”
“What? They can't possibly be stronger than Solanum was. That guy was super tough.”
Luna hmmed. “To be honest I think his arrogance is what killed him. He did not go all out on you because he underestimated you. Against many foes he would not have held back and would have cut them all down swiftly. Your small size and age aided you that day, little Fear.”
Fear just let out a tiny grunt at that.
“Not that your achievement is something to be taken lightly. In battle you must use every advantage you have to gain the upper hoof. So never belittle yourself, no matter how easy it might have seemed.”
The young stallion thought on Discord's words, their agreement that it was better to rely on your actual abilities instead of crude hat tricks. Still... war was often unfair, he might not be able to feel super happy about himself, but it was either kill or be killed sometimes. Fear glanced back up to Luna. “So what about this little kenaz symbol on the sword?”
Luna didn't even need to see the sword to know what he was talking about. She'd been there for the creation of most of them after all. She had to imbue her personality in each one. “It is the mark of a seal being unlocked. The fact that it is the same symbol as the first in your family tree is mere coincidence.” Luna stated such with full certainty.
Fear didn't much believe in coincidence anymore. Everything was connected, however vaguely.
“Those swords were built with enchantments that would unlock upon receiving an influx of magic, ranging through every rune. Due to the very nature of Umbran souls, the magic they exude would theoretically be enough to unlock one seal at a time and allow you greater control over its hidden capabilities. Provided of course it is the sword that strikes the finishing blow.”
Fear lifted an eyebrow. This sounded way too convenient to be believable. “And why didn't you tell me this sooner? And how is this even possible? I thought you stated the sword couldn't absorb magic?”
Luna grinned at the perceptive young stallion, her eyes lidding. “In order: I did not tell you sooner because I did not think it would ever come up. I did not believe it was need to know information. Back then I hardly had any faith in you if I am being honest, so of course I would not get your hopes up. The idea of you killing something with enough latent power to unlock those abilities was a concept beyond me at the time.” She shook her head. “As for the latter question, I meant that it could not absorb raw magical attacks. Not that it could not absorb magic potential. I am sure your mother, when teaching you the basis of magic in general, learned you that there are two different types.”
Fear grumbled something under his breath. “Y-yeah. She mentioned magic potential is something every creature has in their heart. It's a wellspring of power, usually tied closely to emotional output, and woven with the world around them.”
“Exactly, little Fear. Umbrans have such a large amount of magical potential solely due to their nature as agents of destruction. They are powerful foes and to take one on is normally guaranteed death. I am sure you noticed while you were fighting him that you could not mix your body with the shadows he generated, am I correct?”
Fear nodded. “Y-yeah.” He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, eyes darting from side to side. “It was like trying to buck through a wall – just impossible. His will and magical power was too strong, and I was sure that if I even tried to mix with them I'd lose myself.”
Luna gave a curt, singular nod. “It is a good choice you did not try to brute force it. As for what the sword is now capable of, I do believe it is a light-based ability. In order to use it you must become one with the sword, pour your whole being into it. It is the same basis behind the Solar Flare spell, matching the wavelength of your inner magic to the magic within the sword. When two wills become one light will build within the blade until it becomes a sort of... flashlight. And then if you focus the energy, a beam will erupt from the sword, akin to a laser, to strike your opponent. It is not particularly... penetrative. But it will burn away armor at the focal point, allowing you to make precision cuts and stabs.”
Fear couldn't help but whistle. “Huh. Guess it's a good thing we've been practicing the Solar Flare.” He looked to the side with narrowed eyes. “Thanks for that I guess.”
Luna nodded. “Certainly, little Fear.”
“Anyways, about Acrid Root?” He asked, his vision returning to acknowledge the princess of moon and death. The incarnation of mirrored light and casted shadows. “As I said he's having trouble remembering a lot of his past, especially the most recent stuff. All he can remember is his family and so far he's been tight-lipped about that. The warning on the screen about brain damage was accurate.”
Luna frowned imperceptibly. “Indeed. He was in cryo for a long time, it is to be expected he would have difficulty with memory at the very least. However, the memory is strange and I am sure aromas, sights, sounds, and in general events will bring some of it back. But I am remorse to say that I do not know too much about Project Ace myself.”
Fear was taken aback, jaw falling open. “Wait, what? Why? How could you not know!?”
Luna simpered shyly. “Eh. I delegated most of those tasks, and did not go over the paperwork of every little thing. I left that up to the Ministry Mares.” She pushed a hoof against the ground. “Further, it has been nearly two hundred years my little Fear. Memories often deteriorate, especially when unmaintained. The sole aspect I recall is that the barrier in the Frozen North was showing signs of degradation. So I began research to put a stop to it. All I know is it was going well.”
Fear considered that, eyes moving to the side and tapping his chin with a hoof. “Hm, well I'll definitely take Acrid with me, get him some fresh air and keep him safe. Help him restore his memory and when he finally gets it all back I'll bring him to the Frozen North to reseal the Umbrans. Sound good?”
The simulacrum of the moon Nyx provided for Fear was always the most calming thing he could imagine, so far away from his stressors and worries, so distant from the planet that called out to him and told him how much it was hurting. He was tired of hearing those wails. But here, in this dreamscape, artificially cut off from the world, Fear could be at peace with just himself and the ancient stallion next to him. With only his own agony whispering to him.
“Thanks for taking my, uh... spirit or whatever up here again Nyx.” Fear's voice was grateful. “I know it takes a lot out of you. I still don't quite understand the specifics of it.” The young stallion sat on the creamy dust-covered ground and stared at the... mostly healthy planet beneath them.
“You're welcome Fear. And all I'm doing is temporarily severing your consciousness from your body and bringing you to the moon with me. Could not be simpler.” Nyx gave a soft shake of his head, his voice a tad tired and mostly respectful. “It only takes a lot out because I have to make sure your body doesn't decline without you there. You could almost call it a sort of... possession,” he stated while holding a hoof against his chin.
Fear grimaced. “Please don't try to explain it to me, it's creepy enough as is.” Fear lifted a hoof, glancing down and to the side while holding it out against the stallion. “Anyways, why the moon of all places? You never told me.”
Nyx narrowed his draconic eyes and smiled. “Well, for one, it was the closest thing to Equus that I could travel to.” The stallion's voice flowed naturally like the waves against a cliffside, battering against it and breaking off rocks over time. His tone could erode any will. “It was supposed to be devoid of most, if not all life so I would not have to deal with the emotions of others. Finding the nightmares here was sort of souring, but I dealt with it. They hardly ever bother me due to how much I've disciplined myself and worked through my problems, and their emotions are nil and hardly affect the overall atmosphere. Besides, the view is really extravagant, don't you think Fear?”
Fear firmly nodded a few times, barely moving at all. “Yeah. I wish someone could paint it. But to be honest? I don't think a mere painting could ever do it justice. There's just so much expanse out here, so much context. It can't be replicated.” Fear threw his forelegs out, gesturing to it all.
Nyx merely gave a bob of his head in response. “You wished to know more about the umbrans, correct?”
“Y'eh. If you're up for a history lesson.”
“Without a doubt.” Nyx adjusted himself a little, rooting around in place to get comfortable before speaking. “The umbrans were much like the wendigos, but far more active in their approach. Instead of subtly swaying creatures into disharmony and hatred, they would take a concrete role in bringing others to their peak positivity only to tear them down moments later, swiping it all away, and siphoning their despair for sustenance and power, with the ability to lay dormant like tardigrades waiting for the conditions to be just right to revive.”
There was a pause as Nyx let that sink in. Fear did not like this new sink.
“They will bring creatures back to life solely so they can tear them back down once more. They will revive your loved ones simply to hold it over your head, and torture you with their existence. They have become powerful beyond what you could imagine, and they will stop at nothing to see their ends met, to reign over everything. They do not hesitate to make examples out of rebels because it only gives them more power watching others break under the weight of their acts.” Nyx gave a shake of his head as if he could not believe the monstrosity either. “They will put on a facade simply to lull you into a false sense of security and follow their whims, and then crush you when you least expect it. They will leash you and hold you down.”
Fear didn't like this at all. It gave him goosebumps, his form shuddering from the distinct sensation all was not right with the world. How could anything like this be allowed to live?
“In my time on Equus I only befriended one, and he had taken on the form of a pony so that he may be able to live life alongside them. Though I should say it was more along the lines that he took a foal as a host and subsumed their original mind. He only revealed the truth to me at the very end, telling me that he appreciated our time together and he apologized for deceiving me. He had been feeding on my struggles from the beginning, and had played his cards right to get into natural born arguments with me without breaking apart our relationship. He knew I was young, desperate for companionship. And used that against me. In the end, he let go of his pony host and I never heard from him again.” Nyx let out a large sigh. Fear found the whole explanation a little vague.
“So how did these things come to be, anyway? Do you know? How could a travesty like this be allowed to exist?”
Nyx's lips curled up slightly. “They originated in the desolate Frozen North. I do not know their exact birth, though there are theories. Some say they are the descendants of creatures who settled long before it was ever covered in unending blizzards and that they had become tainted with evil, or they had evolved into the only thing that would enable them to survive. Others say they are born when enough negative energy fills a piece of quartz that it can no longer be contained and fosters a will of its own. Either way, they are a force to be reckoned with, and they were re-invoked soon after ponies used magic to settle once more in that makers-forsaken land.”
Fear looked back toward Equus and let out a low whistle. He wasn't sure which origin story he preferred, but the one involving evolution seemed the most plausible. Could negative energy really gain a will of its own? To the point of becoming so intelligent and cruel? Were the umbrans essentially ghosts made up of ill will? Fear shuddered again.
“So,” Saway's raspy voice sounded out, her ever lingering glare settling on Fear. “I hear you fought an umbran.” A smile creeped onto her face, something sinister. “You really are a piece of work you know that, Fear?”
The young stallion leaned to one side, held a hoof out, and cocked his head to the other. “Well all this effort better be going toward something because if not I'm gonna have a fit.” There was a sassy smirk split across his face.
Saway gave a little humph and bumped Fear's shoulder with a hoof, making his body jostle slightly. “You better not do anything to disappoint me. After all you've done you're my new hero.” There was a hint of anxiety laced in her violent voice. “You keep me informed and keep doing you.”
Fear's grin only increased in intensity. “Sure thing Saway. I'm trying my best.” He would have nuzzled into her but knew Saway preferred a no touch policy most of the time. “So, apparently I'm going to be heading to the Frozen North eventually. In case any umbrans manage to snake out of their seal do you have any advice on how I can beat them back?”
Saway shook her head, a frown creasing against her lips. “Unfortunately I only have for you what I've heard. But I suppose that's better than nothing.”
“Sure. Shoot away.” Fear shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly.
“For one, you need to learn to control your fears. They use nightmare pressure almost exclusively from what I hear. They're like malevolent spirits in that they feed off the negative energy you exude, so the more you freeze up from what they put out, the stronger they become. An umbran who hasn't spent a lot of time laying dormant will be incredibly skilled at growing stronger the longer you fight them. So, best thing to do is to end the battle asap no matter what it takes.”
Ugh, Fear couldn't help but feel as if umbrans were sounding impossible. Everything he heard made them out to be insurmountable.
“They'll probably go easy on you solely to get you to let your guard down, and then strike when it hurts the most. Then, if that doesn't kill you or break your spirit, they'll use that emotional reaction to power themselves up and go at you even harder until you're begging for mercy.”
“Guh. What, so my sensitivity is going to be my undoing? Is that what you're telling me?”
Saway lifted her shoulders, twisting her head to the side. “Hey, don't talk to me that way Fear. I've been working on disciplining you for years but you're nearly impossible.” Then she smiled. “But I suppose that just means any umbrans who go up against you are going to have a hard time too.” There was a sly, conniving glint in her eye.
Fear couldn't help but brim with vim and vigor, smiling even wider at that. “Well after all I've been through it'd be absolute bullshit if I was stopped now.”
“That it would be, Fear. As for tactics, I don't recommend trying to overpower them. You're going to want to outthink them. They may be devils in all but name but they are hardly the most intelligent creature around. And from what I've seen of you, pressure's always making you come up with weird maneuvers at the last second. Just make sure you don't get caught in their shadows again and you'll be fine.”
Fear let out a grunt. “Yeah. Dad or me could've probably turned into something small when we were caught before, but then those binds would have just crushed us. As I was leaving, Princess Luna told me she'd teach me a flashbang spell alongside the solar flare.”
Saway laughed, her chest spasming as she let out guffaw after guffaw, calming down long after she started.
“What's so funny?”
“Nothing, Fear. But if you had the nightmares fused to your soul like I do you could probably overpower those shadows without using light. However, your sister was a prodigy in the making, using a flashbang spell on me unintentionally when I first fought her.”
Fear's face went slack, kind of dumbfounded. “What? She did? How?”
Saway's teeth bared on one side of her mouth in a hostile smile. “It was an accident. She mixed telekinesis with a light spell and fired it at me. The only reason it did so much damage was due to the dreamkiller laced into it. Any of those elements on their own would have done nothing.” The mare shivered. “She really was talented when it came to manipulating dreams.”
Fear couldn't help but smile, cocking his head to the side and closing his eyes, cheeks rising. “Heh, it's good to know she's so clever. I really miss that side of her.”
There was a moment's silence as they both reminisced silently. Finally Saway spoke up. “I'm sure someday she'll come back to us. She can't remain high and mighty forever.”
Freiya lifted a hoof and smacked it across Fear's face. “You need to be more careful!” The mare's face was in full blush mode, completely flustered.
Fear just rubbed at his cheek. “Yeah I know. I know.” He didn't know what else to say, just staring at the ground.
The mare before Fear took in a deep breath, her chest rising a few inches, before she let it all flow out, keeping her eyes closed. “I'm sorry Fear, it's just... so many ponies would be sad if something terrible happened to you, Sim, or any of the others. We don't get to spend much time together but if the worst case scenario does happen we'll never get to have any of that again.”
The young stallion wanted to point out that everypony died eventually, if only to defend himself, and how his grandma would probably be reaching the end of her life soon by natural means. But he knew it was a hollow sentiment. He cared just as much as her. “Yeah I get'cha. I'm trying my best to keep everyone and myself safe.”
Freiya breathed in again, holding the air, trying to calm down. “I know Fear. I know you're trying your best and it's natural you're going to get into all sorts of trouble at your age... your grandpa was one of our best scavvers and he was always getting into trouble. I think he might've actually met an umbran once upon a time. His silver tongue always got him out of everything.” Freiya crossed a foreleg over her chest, the other holding her head.
“R-really? Did he ever tell you specifics?” The young stallion stared at Freiya's dream self with wide eyes.
“Oh, certainly. He spoke of a pony that came to him, always trying to start trouble, always coming off as wiser than her years. That pony followed my dear Silver around like a ghastly specter, bringing about trouble wherever they went. My honey didn't mind... too much, so long as Yotta kept it to a specific time and place. She always ended up surprising him with just what she was capable of in battle and had helped him a couple of times with her sadistic ways. He assumed she was a raider but he said she just had a sort of... sense about her.”
“A sense?” Fear tilted his head to the side curiously.
“Yeah. Said she always seemed calm, cool, and in control. Very devious. She was hardly as excitable as a raider, as if she was always just putting on an act. They parted ways soon after Silver told her he was returning to the stable to bring back his haul. Then again it probably wasn't an umbran at all given the fact she didn't want to bring terrible things to the Stable.”
Fear grunted. “Yeah, probably not. Likely just a strange mare.”
The young stallion was more nervous than he ever had been before. Picking up mares and stallions for the sake of the job was one thing, but actually doing it for pleasure? In moments like these all his training went out the window and he was completely paralyzed. Why had Gentler insisted on getting him laid right before they left? Was it because he felt bad he'd almost died, or was it as some sort of gift? Fear's ears flicked above him as he held his head in a hoof, leaning on an 'elbow' on a familiar table. He perked up, listening to Gentler's smooth Abyssinian voice, full of stoicism across Scavver's Tavern.
“So you see, he's incredibly naive but you should definitely meet him. Come on, what do you say?”
Fear glanced back to the wall as Gentler tried to pick up a mare and make him out to be worse than he actually was so she'd be impressed. He knew Gentler's tricks – he'd tried to teach the young stallion them. But no matter what he did he was still just... so uncomfortable. He knew at this rate he was just going to end up dumping the mare ASAP. Fear glanced to the side, clucking his tongue and narrowing his eyes. This was a terrible idea. Why had he agreed to this? His heart hammered in his chest. He wasn't ready to move on yet, not onto another mare. He still had feelings for Amelio. Something would probably happen to this mare too. She'd probably end up sacrificing herself as well.
Irrationally, Fear couldn't help but expect that of every single significant other who took pleasure in him. If he built a relationship they'd just be disappointed. No matter how much he mindlessly practiced all the crafts he'd been taught, it felt better to see others as a source of transaction than a potential mate. Fear's body was shaking as his thoughts pervaded. He couldn't help but feel like everyone was staring at him with a combination of derision and indifference. Only when he was on the job did he get the sensation ponies wanted to be with him, because of how he held himself. It was all an act.
Fear was an impostor. It was all for the job, nothing more.
Fear didn't love himself. How could he?
It was at that moment the mare Gentler had been needling into came up to the table Fear was sitting at and sat down. She swept her bronze mane away from her eyes, revealing the pools of honey that were her brown eyes, her caramel coat finely groomed. She hardly even had a smell to her. Fear looked away, tapping his forehooves together.
“So you're Fear huh? Kinda cute in person. I'm Choco Chalk, it's nice to meet you.” Choc sounded sweet enough, her voice easy on the ears.
But Fear couldn't take it anymore. “I-I'm sorry. This was a mistake.” He shoved the chair outward. “Maybe we can get together another time Miss Choco.” Fear's eyes were downtrodden, his face tense and slack at the same time. He stood up, gave a little bow, and hurried off as Gentler facepalmed.
Choco was left with a dumbstruck expression, then she soured. A moment later she shrugged, her eyes meeting Gentler's and giving him a little wink as if she'd assumed he was just too shy.
Fear meanwhile knew for a fact he'd screwed up, constantly rubbing a foreleg over the other as his teeth chattered from frayed nerves. Choco was probably berating him for walking out on her like that, for disappointing her, for not being good enough. He was terrible. I'm horrible he chastised himself. She didn't deserve that – doesn't deserve me. Fear stepped out of Scavver's Tavern and looked up at the cloud cover above, letting out a sigh.
Gentler met up with him a moment later. “Fear what's wrong? Why'd you leave? Everything was perfect!”
Fear didn't look Gentler in the eyes, just rubbing and holding himself like he couldn't get comfortable, gnawing on his lower lip. “Gen... I just can't. She couldn't possibly love me. And even if she did it'd never work out.” Fear had seen so many one-night stands, and those that lingered were just purely business. Feelings of ugliness coursed through him. Fear was good at what he did, but he couldn't get close. Not to anyone. Not any longer. Suddenly every bit of dirt and grime meant so much more, able to feel it on his fur. A sigh of self loathing escaped his lips. “I'm disgusting. I'm too young to be wanted by anyone. It's too soon.” Fear came up with all sorts of excuses to avoid it.
Gentler was left in a stupor as he stared at Fear. “Well, if you're really not ready I won't push it. Just know sometimes you gotta throw yourself in no matter how you feel. Just get in and go. You won't know the outcome until you do it. That's what you taught me at least. I'll see you tomorrow Fear. Just know you're not too young. You can do whatever the fuck you want to do.”
Fear was the one who left Gentler standing there, thinking on his words, calling back over his shoulder, “thanks.” He had a lot to think about. A lot to deal with. So many emotions – tons of thoughts.
Despite everything Fear was feeling, now wasn't the time to dwell. He had a lot of obstacles ahead of him and he'd be damned if he let emotions bring him down because of it. His family was all gathered together in front of the farm house, preparing to leave. Gentler, Faith, and Acrid behind him conversing about all their plans for where they were going next, everything they'd decided on.
Jack was the first to give Fear a great big ol' hug, using telekinesis to squeeze a little tighter, his horn lighting up with an orange field of magic. “Have fun in Maneami. Try some drugs if you get the chance, but do it responsibly. It's a once in a lifetime thing, but if you have a bad reaction it'll be the last thing you do.” He let Fear go and stepped away.
“Thanks Grandpa. I'll think about it. Thanks again for the stories, I'll see you later.” He twisted around to face Emulae next.
Emulae spoke to Fear with a penchant for liveliness. “It's been such a pleasure having you around Fear, I'll always remember the battles of wits we always had.” She lifted a foreleg and bopped Fear on the noggin. “You take care of yourself, we'd all hate if anything happened to you.”
The young stallion gave a grateful nod and smiled. “You bet'cha Grandma. Thanks again for the map.”
Emulae shrugged a shoulder. “Eh. That world map from my old hive better come in use for something.”
Fear commented readily. “It's a lot of information to be honest. Makes me glad I don't keep a bunch of knowledge in my memory pocket. Whatever you want to call it.”
Sim came up next and swept a foreleg around Fear's neck and pulled him into his chest. “The Viola hive has infiltrated nearly every single place, even a few Steel Ranger hideouts from what I know.”
Viola nodded. “Indeed, you wouldn't believe how difficult it can be to act like a scribe. Only place I don't think we've been is above the clouds! Hard to take the place of a pegasus, even for a little while given they hardly ever come down.”
Fear thought on that for a few moments. “Well, thanks anyway. It's pretty incredible knowing I have all this at my hooftips. I love you guys.”
Jack was busy pulling out some boxes of sunflower seeds he'd prepared for them to take with them. “Make sure not to eat too many of these in one place y'all. Just a few should be filling enough. Keep them for an emergency.” He floated a box to Fear last, while Acrid was busy sticking his in the new saddlebags he'd been bought.
Mirage came up to Fear next, who turned around to see her as he levitated the box into his bags. “Keep on the look out for new vinyl records, please.” Her stutter was next to non-existent around Fear nowadays. She then reached up and gave him an innocent, yet affectionate, peck on the cheek before gesturing to a jar next to her. “T-take this with you please.” Okay maybe not totally non-existent.
Fear held it up in his magic at eye level, staring into it at the clear jelly-like fluid inside. “What is it?”
“Changeling aphrodisiac. It has ten applications in there. W-works like gel. You can either sell it or use it for whatever your imagination thinks of.” And with that she quietly slipped away.
“Th-thanks!” Fear called out after her as Chirp bolted right up to Fear, snuggle-tackling into him and nearly bowling him over, eyes squeezed shut and tail flicking to the side. Holding him in the type of bear hug only an earth pony could give.
“Make sure to be safe! I'm gonna be worrying about you all the time! Visit us in our dreams! You're my only nephew and I can't have you getting killed!”
Fear just lightly blushed and pat Chirp on the back. “I'll miss you too Chirp, you take care as well.”
Chirp snorted up some phlegm in an ugly way and pulled off so Rose could have a chance at him.
Fear couldn't help but smile a little brighter at seeing Rose, his grin becoming doofy.
“I will make sure to give you another of my patented massages once you get back Fear,” Rose stated simply, a small smile gracing her lips. Fear could already feel the kinks forming in his muscles, a needy sensation overcoming him. Man he was going to miss those massages the most. Thankfully he'd learned just how Rose did it so he could mimic it on others, but he'd always miss it from her.
The young stallion's vision swept over everyone, before hooking around back to his saddlebags, rifle, and sword. A memory floated into his mind.
Storm knelt down close to her son Fear, the smallest colt imaginable as they hunkered on top of a hill. She was helping the colt hold her rifle, the butt of it sitting in the crook of her left shoulder, her right foreleg lashed around the underside and supporting it. Fear laid on his tummy with his right foreleg held under it, the thing too big to hold against his own shoulder, and kept the sten-like bit trigger safely in his maw. Mother and son, side by side, with Fear staring down the scope, craning his neck upwards to reach.
Through the scope Fear spied a skittering rad roach, occasionally scuttling along only to stop and waggle its antennae around as it tried to figure out where it wanted to go next, searching for trash. Its movements were erratic and sinuous, but with Storm's guidance Fear was able to keep a lock on it as they both remained as silent as a mouse. Storm putting most of the strength into moving the Gallop and Fear guiding the process. When he was sure he had the shot lined up, he stilled and pulled the trigger.
BAM!
As Fear watched through the scope the radroach suddenly spasmed, a bullet penetrating its face. It tried to jump and scatter, but soon enough it flopped forward and buzzed a few times, its legs kicking weakly before it became motionless.
Fear yipped and hurrayed in his squeaky voice, getting up off the ground as an empty bullet casing rolled across the ground, sitting on his haunches and throwing his forelegs into the air banzai style. “YEAH! I DID IT! MOMMY I DID IT IT I SHOT THE RADROACH!” Fear whooped and hollered as Storm looked on with pride in her eyes and a knowing smirk.
“Congratulations my little Nightlight, you're getting so much better!”
Acrid had been silent for awhile as their journey came underway. Thinking about the events leading up to all this. He was... pretty sure he could trust Fear – he was the one who killed the... Umbran was it? They'd also been the ones to release him, and had escorted him back to Dryfield, filling him on what his objective was supposed to be, a faint memory he had. He sort of recalled the objective when he'd gone under. He recalled his family, but he wouldn't tell anyone about that. Trying to get his mind off his anxieties, he decided to ask questions. “So. Dryfield.” He began. Immediately all heads spun to look at him as easily as if he'd said something rather potent. “What exactly is it? Why do you all live there?”
Gentler was the first to speak up. “It's a rather accepting place all in all. Not going to find many raiders wandering around trying to steal your pelt off your back.”
Fear agreed with a grunt. “They're very accepting of changelings which is nice, and there's hardly ever a dull moment. Ponies are often passing through on their way to other places in the desert, and it also tends to get a lot of traffic solely for being one of the only places that has fresh food.”
Acrid latched onto part of that. He had a confident air about him that reminded Fear of his sister, someone whose word was law as far as they were concerned. And like his sister, he had a swaying, almost hypnotic facet to him when he used the right tone. “By the way, changelings are kind of gross and weird. I remember that much from my history. They were always out to get everyone. But you saved me so I'm going to give you a chance Fear.” There was a slight hostility in his voice that was not lost on the young stallion.
Gentler chortled. “What, you not like bugs much growing up?”
Faith seemed hesitant, not really liking Acrid much, moving up to Fear and draping a foreleg over his shoulders to comfort him from the cutting remarks.
“No,” Acrid started. “I didn't. All they ever do is hide under rocks and run away from you when you're about to step on them. And they were always feasting on my parents' crops. They're a nuisance.”
Fear cowered away from Acrid a little. Even if Acrid reminded him of his sister, that didn't mean he was nearly as kind.
Acrid continued, quickly changing the subject. “You mentioned something about going to Abyssinia, Gentler? What's it like? I've heard they have a few cities scattered around, and they're keen fishers. But that's about it.”
Gentler just shot Acrid a rebellious look before answering. “Well that's it mostly. We specialize in magical gems and enchantments, lyrical spells and tapestries among other things. We have an eye for design, and... well. You'll probably see if we make it there.”
Acrid wondered how they could be so cavalier about potentially going straight into death. “You're awfully cavalier about heading straight to your own death, any reason you're unconcerned?” The stallion, maybe a couple years older than Fear, blinked once.
Faith responded readily. “We trust Fear a lot. Not much more to it than that. Together we're an unstoppable force.”
Acrid's disbelief showed on his face. “Just 'cause he beat an umbran doesn't make him anything special.” There was a sort of guffy edge to his voice.
After a moment's silence, Acrid spoke up again with the same abrasive tone. “I remember some street preachers from Equestria during the war. A lot of them got rounded up by the Ministry of Morale. I saw more than a couple get hauled off. It's weird knowing that's allowed now, but also refreshing to know you're doing it for a good cause, Faith.” There was a compliment hidden in there.
Faith was a bit irritated but took what she could get. “Thank you Acrid. I try my best. I feel everyone needs someone there for them. I put myself out there so that others might be willing to come up to me and ask me questions so I can get to know them and be part of their life.”
Acrid was curious about that, not familiar with street preachers wanting to get to know someone. Then he looked to Fear, his curiosity only piquing at seeing the young stallion. “Fear, why would you choose to help me despite me not liking you? What do you hope to gain?” There was a suspicious tone.
Fear could tell Acrid was just anxious. He understood where his traveling companion was coming from. “It hurts sure. But I learned recently that I base my self worth on how I treat others.”
Acrid rose an eyebrow. That ruined the magic somewhat of being selfless, he thought.
“It's why killing in cold blood bothers me so much.” He glanced away from Acrid, staring straight ahead. “And I've learned that in the end we define our trauma, our trauma doesn't define us. We are better in spite of it, not because of it. You're supposed to let it wash over you – let those emotions dribble down your awareness like water from a shower, then dry yourself off with the laughter of better times. Just because you don't like me doesn't mean I have to not like you back. I can treat you with respect and dignity, and while again it hurts, I've come a long way and don't hurt others just because they do it to me.”
Acrid gazed at Fear appreciatively for a few moments.
“I have barely enough confidence in myself to keep my head high despite what others say nowadays, but it's still something. Back when I fought Solanum...”
Solanum? Acrid thought. Another question for another day.
“...I took what those changelings...”
Oh. A special changeling perhaps?
“...had to say about me to heart, and because of that I didn't care if they ended up dying or not. But I've learned I can care about them despite that. It's not their fault they felt that way. I have some confidence in myself, and others have confidence in me.”
Acrid was left thinking about Fear's words. As non-sequitur as they sometimes felt. As revolting as Fear seemed at first, he could... probably be trusted.
The reason Faith had always described the story of obtaining her weapon as 'personal' was solely due to the emotive and terrible nature of it. But seeing as they were headed to the dragon lands to meet the mare's old flame Drax, she figured now was as good a time as any to elaborate on it and him.
“Drax is an empath like you, Fear. Which is why I wasn't really... surprised upon learning of your abilities.”
Fear thought about it, it was true Faith had been oddly welcoming, and even familiar with the concept. Acrid was confused, not familiar with empaths in the slightest. Gentler just gazed at Faith curiously – she'd tried to make love to a dragon? Why hadn't she stayed?
“He was sensitive to all sorts of emotions, could easily see them. They'd sear into his retinas and leave him unable to latch onto his own, occasionally making him a mirror to the world around him. He always told me that whenever he looked at me he was overcome with peace and hope for the future despite everything his brethren had been through.” Faith shook her head softly, as if in disbelief, and also trying to clear her head. “Despite all that, he was the kindest dragon you'd ever meet, so intelligent and down to earth. He always had a place in his heart open for you. If I didn't know any better I'd say he'd discovered the alicorn inside himself long ago. He desperately wanted to take care of his people, hold them up and bring them prosperity.” Faith trailed off after hyping the dragon up a bit.
“There were two weapons in that facility, the names of which we learned later – the Alicannon and the Alicorsair. The Alicorsair was a state of the art security... drone? That could fire various spells, was mentally linked to whoever controlled it, and had holographic and cloaking capabilities. It could take recon and play it back, and was holotape compatible.” Faith was pulling it all from the dark recesses of her memory, the information they'd learned from playing around with the two artifacts. “The facility they were held in was inundated in a field of hopelessness, and monsters had spawned due to it, some more visceral than others. It was a result of the warring between dragons and ponies decades ago. I was able to endure it due to my past as a preacher, my faith in the good book. I kept Drax stable while he dealt with the monsters proper and guided us further in.
Fear was still dwelling a bit on two things Faith had said. One, that the story was terrible in nature, and two, the cloaking technology. That was strange. He was familiar with stealthbucks but how could you make a permanent cloaking tool? That's zebra tech isn't it?
Drax was a majestic bipedal creature, though his knees hardly ever straightened despite that. He was sleek, slender, and graceful, with just the right bit of tonal definition to his muscles. Covered in pronounced, durable crimson scales that could take multiple piercings or rakes, or even straight up gunshots. Faith always admired that about him, his sheer versatility and dynamism. The way his sharp ivory claws gouged through earth, metal, and crystal alike. His tail was usually jerking to one side, rather erratic and slithering, undulating in the most heated moments. It blossomed into three fishy petals on the tip, which gave him the impression of a powerful swimmer. Garnet hued stripes scarred the sides of his body on every limb, and along his abdomen and chest, marring his beautiful form with a sense of raw, untameable strength. His muzzle tapered to a point, the fangs uneven and jagged, proper for a lithovore/carnivore such as himself, capable of eating meat or various stones. Rumbling, curved ridges flowed over his brows, with rosy spiked spines trailing back from them, meeting at the top of his head and gliding down along the vertebral column past wide, similarly colored leather wings. Ivory claws, sharp enough to carve through steel, covered his hands and feet.
The dragon's two best features, the features Faith revered the most however, were his vibrant violet irises and magnetizing, slitted alabaster pupils, roaring with charged up magic, and the second being his sly, prodding smirk. Rather incorrigible overall, yet immensely attractive.
Faith hummed, something she was prone to do, her eyes gazing down the hill-ish compound. “So you really think this place has something that'll help you, Draxxy?” Faith took a glance at him, watching his rippling, subtle muscle.
Drax grinned slightly, eyes lidding, alabaster pupils taking in everything. “Yeah. This was a well guarded facility.” The dragon bared a fang, arms crossed over his chest, tail sweeping from side to side.
“It's going to be really strange going through a place with less color than the wasteland.”
“Yeah,” Drax replied, “the atmosphere's heavy too. It's prickling at my mind. Just looking at it makes me feel a sense of pure despair. I almost want to close my eyes.” He stared at Faith instead, taking in her pink hair, devoid of silver streaks, still young. “But at least I have you.”
Faith bat a hoof at him, smiling brightly. “Stop it you flatterer.” She shook her head a bit. “You're sweet.”
“It's the truth, you're always there for me. I regret that one day we'll need to part ways.”
Faith stayed silent, which continued for a solid minute as they were left with their own thoughts. “Anyways, we should get going. It's time for adventure, not time for regret.” Faith gave her flanks a bounce, Friendship City themed saddlebags readjusting. And with that they headed down.
Muggy, watery atmosphere clogged their lungs, leaving lumps in their throats, suffusing and subsuming their bodies in weight. It was an exhausting experience that had no end, and going deeper in just made it worse. Faith stayed strong, and Drax occasionally looked to her, staying close to her for strength and support. He appreciated her more than he could ever define. She was his light.
Faith felt the same way about him, though less strongly. She was independent enough to know she could get by on her own - had for years.
Buildings meant for residence and office space were inset against the slope the compound was built on. Stairwells lead further down, running along the middle with sandbag barriers lining here and there. The normally pastel world was submerged in monochrome. What was once colorful shrubbery and vibrantly dual hued sands were now chromatically flat and boring. The thin, trickling strands of previously vivid magma blossoming from indentations in the earth here and there, would've appeared as capillary blood vessels from far away in the distant past. Once lively mosses and lichen taking residence on ancient pieces of basalt rock were left drab and dreary. It was hard to believe there were still any nutrients at all, difficult to comprehend how anything could still be alive. Everything that did have that characteristic was either stock still as if winds could never jostle them, or limping weakly as if they had no strength left to stand.
Drax occasionally carried Faith across lava flows, holding her body on his shoulders to make it easier for them both to cross. Drax wasn't even slightly burned by the motionless lava. It felt like a warm bath actually, or at least it would if it didn't chill him to the bone from how hopeless it all felt. They stayed close to the sides of the compound, avoiding some of the revolving turrets, which resembled more like ancient draconic maws, once holding cannons now morphed into void eyes.
For the ones they couldn't avoid, all Drax had to do was take a gander at Faith and feel the strength pulse through him like drinking a vitality potion. Then fly into the air swiftly, spiral around before it could realize his presence, and crash down into it, raking his claws through it, severing wires and destroying machinery with ease, crushing it beneath his weight and muscle.
Leaning watchtowers made of crisscrossing wood threatened to spill over onto the ground like Jenga. Aging spotlights sagged from above, dusty and rusty, with old intercoms on poles that doubled as alarm systems in the same state. On top of each watchtower was a wibbly wobbly colt or filly, as if made of unstable soul magic. They drifted around the canopy aimlessly, not even seeing anything like roaming spirits, never quite latching on or focusing, just existing and hardly even doing that. Like lost souls trapped in limbo. There was no cognizance in them, so Drax and Faith left them alone when they passed by them. It was unclear what their purpose was, or how they'd gotten there, or even what they represented. That factor just unnerved Faith and Drax even more. It was strange how something so benign yet out of place could reach so deeply and chew up security.
Looking into buildings just showed more of them. Their eyes were whitewashed and tainted with engorged blood vessels. Being up close they could see they had long, gangly limbs, explaining why they could be seen up high from below. The joints were oddly position so the legs couldn';t bend the right way. Swollen tongues that were once purple dangled from their mouths, their blue-gray faces bloated and looking ready to pop. Drax and Faith decided to stop looking inside the buildings. If there was a key, they agreed to ignore it and just cut their way through the doors, even if weapons fired at them.
The moment one glanced their way and stared into their souls made it feel like ice water was trickling down their spines. Getting the heebie jeebies, they immediately moved on.
The Equestrian flag was flashy normally, with a candy red background underneath a curly bitonal sun with a crescent moon inlaid. Now the ones displayed here and there on the base were no more than ashen rags, no longer did they have the same luxuriousness they used to. At the base of the slope was a set of mine tracks leading underground, with a gate closing it off. Nearby that was a slot in the wall with a machine gun nest, and next to it a once locked door leading further in.
A tiny filly with the same unnatural legs was standing in the nest, just... staring. Everything felt like it was in the depths of the ocean. Soggy, thick mire.
Drax and Faith looked into each other's eyes uncertainly, their mouths screwed up in frayed nerves. “You think it even realizes we're here?” Faith queried nervously.
Drax shook his head. “Probably not. If so they would have done something by now. However whatever creatures we find here might be more dangerous, so we have to be careful.”
Faith hummed. “What do you think the reason for their appearances is?”
Drax cocked his head to the side. “Why? What's wrong with them? I just see a blank faced mare in military gear.”
Faith shuddered, her legs quivering. “I'm seeing a dead looking filly with a grayed out cutiemark. It looks more like a shadow of something living than an actual creature. Like a ghost.”
“Huh.” Drax looked back at the filly. Or was it mare? “Maybe the reason why I'm seeing it as it is, is because of my sixth sense? The emotions are incredibly volatile though. Depressing. It's harsh.”
Faith jolted her head to look in Drax's direction. “Did the turrets look like dragon faces to you in that case?”
“No. Did they look like that to you?”
“Yeah.” Faith's ears flicked. “Their eyes were literal voids. The lasers came from them. I know because the only one that managed to get a shot off at you... did.”
“Well that's strange, but they look like normal turrets to me, only whenever I gaze at them I get this feeling that I'm definitely going to die and there's nothing I can do. That's why I have you.”
Faith couldn't help but smile a little. “You're cute, and it's making this whole situation feel a little less horrible.”
Drax shrugged, flashing a charming smile, before making his way over to the locked door leading inward, lifting his claws, and thrusting them deep into the door with his palms facing outward. They went so deep his fingers sliced through to the other side. Tightening his tendons, his fingers gripped down into the metal door, his claws securing the hold, and with one deft movement and a roar Drax ripped the thing right off its hinges, throwing it up into the air so hard it crashed into the cliff face away from them.
Faith sidled up next to him, brushing against his side. “Ooh, big strong muscle dragon.” She lidded her eyes and simpered at him. “My big buff savior.”
Drax grinned from ear to ear and shoved a thumb against his chest. “Don't you know it.” And soon enough they were headed inside, Drax leading the way.
“You know we could've just jumped over the machine gun nest,” she sassily reminded.
Drax guffawed. “But that's not nearly as provocative.”
Faith giggled. “True enough you raging ball of steroids. There'll be enough opportunities to prove yourself to me in due time.” It wasn't common Drax showed off like that, but he always did it most often in dark situations to lighten the mood. It was something Faith adored.
A little deeper inside was a large cavern with metal girders for arches, a railway trailing down the center for transportation of large containers and other supplies running from Equestria proper toward the labs. Pipes ran along the walls. The two wished they could hear something moving through them, but alas, everything was still incredibly quiet.
Except for the new creatures patrolling the area. Spindly, unnaturally twisted tortoises that cracked with every subtle motion, their mouths more like yawning chasms when open. Ugly, sharp chapped lips, drugged eyes that dilated to Tartarus and back, and tails where the vertebra undulated with every flick. Big flappy necks full of wrinkles gyrated on the spot, as if they couldn't stop swallowing excessive saliva. Their shells were patterned strangely, with the illusion of endless corridors and pits that incessantly dove further in, Drax's eyes nearly being lost in their depths forever even when just his peripheral caught them.
It was less unnerving and more entrancing. But still out of place. Faith immediately latched onto Drax's arm with sticky hooves and pulled him away, around the halted train sitting on the tracks, and jogging him from the sight. “Come on, stay with me Drax. It's okay.” She gave him a wink.
“Y... yeah. Right.” Drax's gaze pulled away from the strange creature. Faith was tempted to ask him what he'd seen, but figured she'd rather not know. It was probably some kind of mental elemental monster with a changed form. That was her guess.
As they continued, Faith often saw yellow eyed shadows out of the corner of her eye, always needing to spare a second glance to see if she really was seeing color or it was her imagination. Either way, they were sickly and torturously jagged shades, silent and flat yet always elongating into her vision in awkward ways. The more she focused on them, the more they seemed to flow over her to reach into her most private crevices. Curling around pipes and slithering out from under the train cars when she least expected it.
Faith was sure it was trying to pull out her sanity. She felt violated. It canceled out noise like a room filled with sound absorption panels. “Drax do you see those?”
“You mean the mosquitos? Yeah they're really annoying.” Now that Faith focused on him she could tell he was swiping his claws around to slice through some as they came, trying to bat them out of the air. “They're always hiding in the corner of my vision. It's frustrating.” His voice was on edge.
Faith let out a sigh of relief. “Is that all they are? Good.”
“Why, what were you seeing?”
Faith rubbed a foreleg as they continued on. “I'd rather not say. It's too weird.”
Drax let it slide, staring ahead of them as they proceeded down the tunnel. As the dragon tried to bat the 'mosquitos' out of the air, they eventually made it to a large open factory. It was a vast industrial plant filled with conveyor belts and construction machinery, including tools for tiny, dexterous attachments and automated soldering – nearby that was a storage room for various parts put together elsewhere in Equestria. Looking closely they could see so many doors, but it required moving through the factory, around different machinations and processors to get to. The shadows (or were they mosquitos?) were becoming far less frequent.
Faith nudged Drax in the side, before pointing up toward the ceiling on one of the larger machines. He grunted and followed her hoof, color nearly draining from him at the sight.
A heather gray timberwolf, looking like languidly moving static, stood tall staring at them. Its tongue lolled and drooled oily saliva, its eyes constantly shifting with a visual doppler effect, trying to yank them into place and put them underfoot where they belong, a ceaseless oppression. It seemed more like an alpha without a pack, and it was lowly growling. Its tail whipping back and forth.
Drax got low to the ground, snarling at it. “Come on bitch,” he sneered, lunging forward onto his left foot, tail dragging across the ground and snapping to the side.
The timberwolf snarled right back and pounced, hindlegs lifting it off the piece of machinery and its weight carrying it down and forward. It bared its rock talons and sharp splinter teeth, intending to bite down into Drax.
Drax saw it coming. He ducked, stepped forward, thrust his hand into the air, his own claws shredding through the timberwolf's underbelly and exposing its plant guts. The dragon didn't stop, spinning around and grasping the timberwolf's tail before flowing into a spin, picking up momentum, making it sail over Faith's head. With one easy move he jerked his hands to the side, snapping the tail off and sending the wooden body flying into a conveyor belt where it cracked apart, monochrome flowers and fungus seeping out of the hole in its side.
It stayed there for moments on end, its eyes fizzing away as it pawed at the ground, whimpering from being so easily manhandled and destroyed, its body falling apart at the seams. Then it went still.
Faith wrapped Drax up in a giant hug, shushing him, able to see the look of agony on his face. “You didn't have any choice Drax. It attacked us first.”
Drax grumbled sourly. “But I taunted it.”
Faith giggled. “But you knew it intended to attack us from the start. I know you Drax, you wouldn't have done so otherwise. You're a kind, peaceful dragon.” The mare's next word dragged out for a long time, her voice smooth, silky, and slithering into Drax's ears, calming him down. “Reeeelaaaaaaaax...”
The two continued on soon after, once Drax's heart was restored to its proper state, exploring the different rooms with a curious vigor. One open door led to a circular library with a stained glass skylight, now made up of various dull gunmetal grays. It went up multiple floors with cascading spiral stairs. The shelves contained research books, some “newly” written and others ancient. Given neither were too interested in looking through tomes of long forsaken knowledge, they headed back. Across from the library was a stairwell leading toward some dank prison cells, some filled with the remnants of changeling carapace and basic necessities. Which is where they met more ghosts of the past. Figures. Ebony changelings with static compound eyes and lifeless, thousand yard stares, seeming more like statues than living creatures. Less kept alive, and more like snapshots of the past that remain undying. Frozen in place and time with flawless posture and clenched jaws. Something about it all seemed strangely... soggy. Like a dithered photograph leaking aspirations into the void. There was a vacancy to them, as if they were abandoned houses once for rent, now just laying dormant until someone came to tear them down. They remained in their cells, one to each. Fatigued and motionless.
Drax and Faith immediately left, contemplating the implications behind it. There had been syringes and other siphoning tools laying around on the ground. Drax was by far the most disturbed of the two. Knowing ponies were performing experiments on potential enemies seemed... like a war crime. How many higher ups knew? Did anypony know? Had it been passed by their superiors? Or was it in secret? What price was to be paid for progress?
Back at the engineering lab, inset into a corner was a door leading to a place with various large machines meant for purifying metal and fastening quartz to allow for greater magical conduction. Not that Faith nor Drax understood the majority of what they were seeing. Science, magic, and technology were not their forte.
At the opposite side from the entrance to the production line was a locked pneumatic door that Drax made swift work of, tearing his claws through it at a rabid pace like a fierce, wild animal. Clawing out chunks and slicing through metal like it was cake. It buckled, strained, and fell under his assault, casually caving in as if it had been a wooden door a powerful earth pony bucked into oblivion.
Faith still admired Drax's gentle strength. Unafraid to defend. A formidable foe toward anything.
Lining the hallway beyond were various doors, one leading to a reading lounge full of colorless dead planters and once lavish, gaudy couches now just places of comfort, with framed environmental paintings sapped of hue. Another door led to a strange machine that neither adventurer could discern to be an oversized melanger. After that was a door leading to a small cafeteria. Everything began to blur, passing by a pristine operating room complete with all the necessary equipment including specialized tools for extracting magic, so clean it appeared unused. Next was a dual purpose testing chamber/firing range. There had been terminals intermittently, but given there was hardly any method for accessing their contents it was useless to examine them.
Now and then they'd seen one other creature during their explorations that they chose to leave alone. What Faith saw were enlarged hovering catfish with mirror flesh, reflecting what once was and never would ever again be like a funhouse mirror, whiskers wavering in the air and reflecting light. Not nearly the most traumatizing thing Faith had seen up to this point, but it was enough that they left well enough alone. Primarily because Drax wasn't violent as a rule. Self-defense was important, but only because he knew the hurt of loss. His entire species had been nearly eradicated after all.
The end of the hallway contained another pneumatic door leading outside, to a large pit with a small spire in the middle. It was expensive looking, and incredibly fragile, with various extensions protruding from its sides, all having an air of importance. In the front of the spire was a terminal with a data printer next to it, some folded up paper unraveling from inside. On the other side of the pit was a vault door.
On top of the spire however, glaring down at them, was a vulture that looked like it belonged on a totem pole. Excessive radiation surrounded it, and it was the only thing with color they'd seen up to this point. While Faith saw its head as a skull, Drax would later tell Faith that it was made of metal. A guardian of the area.
The vulture's eyes lit up with simmering red light, and then searing lasers bzorped out right at Faith. Drax hadn't felt it coming – it was a machine – but he'd seen it, and shoved Faith out of the way, right off her hooves and across the ground. Drax's wings beat hard multiple times in quick succession, as he immediately took to the air.
It was a glorious battle of rolls, dives, swoops, and twists, one that was beyond organic and machine. A dance of reaction time and eyes, not emotions. Of reflexes and dodges that Faith couldn't keep up with, but Drax always seemed to be one step ahead of. It wasn't too long before he crashed into it, thrusting his claws inside its stomach and rending it apart, tearing it in half and sending both plummeting toward the ground, its mechanical gears and innards, springs bouncing out, everything crashing to the ground in a grotesque heap.
Drax hung in the air for awhile, flapping his wings, before gliding back down to the ground and reaching out for one of Faith's hooves, lifting it up and bending down to tenderly kiss it.
Faith made her way over to the terminal screen, noticing it was displaying notifications now. “INTRUDER ALERT. INITIATING GUARDIAN.EXE.” Then, “GUARDIAN.EXE ERROR. PLEASE RESTART”
“Faith.” Drax mumbled, setting a hand on Faith's shoulder. “Most of the hopeless magic is radiating out from this thing. I can feel it in my bones.” The preacher felt the dragon shudder above her, glancing up at him.
“Well it's fine, we're almost out of here.” She scanned over the keys, looking past the spire at the vault door, before typing in some commands, trying various things. “Seems it wasn't locked with a password, good for us.”
Drax shook his head. “You know I could just claw my way through it anyway right? But it's probably because they thought the guardian would be enough, whatever that was.” He snorted lightly, sparing a glance at the magic-infused vulture. Now nothing but a pile of irradiated wreckage.
“And that's where we found the Alicorsair and Alicannon. Drax took the former with him, and he told me to take the latter with me. They had lost their color, but I am sure he's brought the color back to his weapon quickly enough. We spent awhile practicing with them, learning how they functioned and what to do with them.” Faith nodded once, finishing the story.
Fear was impressed. She hadn't been much of a help at all, but he knew from her stories travelling the wastes that she was anything but vulnerable. Her charisma helped with that, to get her in close. It was also strange imagining a younger version of his motherly friend.
Gentler huhed. “Why'd you and Drax split up? According to your story both of you got along perfectly and he really enjoyed protecting you?”
Faith rubbed her head with a hoof, humming. “That was... part of the problem actually. I wanted to be independent. I have a habit of relying on others even though I'm perfectly capable of being alone. Also I was young back then and I needed to move on. Whereas Drax needed to stay behind and look after his kind. He was on his way to becoming their leader.” She gave a small smile. “It was a matter of what both of us needed most out of life. We left on good terms.”
Hearing about Faith and Drax's relationship brought back a memory to his mind of his and his sister's relationship. The few times they'd bickered with each other and Sim bursting out laughing. Amelio was clear and succinct when she asked 'are we some kind of entertainment to you?' with a huff in her voice. It was cute.
Fear missed Amelio. Would he ever move on?
The young stallion glanced to Faith, remembering something of her. He recalled her telling him she had faith in everyone, no matter who it was. If they lived, she believed. He knew she believed in him. Had since the start, would until the end of time.
A smile graced his lips as the conversation continued and he focused on other things.
Ugh. Sleeping was so difficult lately. Fear couldn't pass out no matter how hard he tried. Even a day spent traveling wasn't enough to conk him out. Which sucked because...
Fear curled up into a ball, crossing his forelegs and holding his hindlegs against his belly. He still felt ugly inside. Fear reached out with his magic to the blade by his saddlebags and floated it to him, using pathokinesis to funnel some positive emotions into the blade. It was a comforting practice, akin to taking care of his mother's rifle. Emotion coursed through the opalescent quartz lining the blade.
Acrid's voice was unexpected. “What are you doing up?”
Fear looked up, rolling over and seeing the stallion, a couple years older than him, laying on his stomach, head raised.
“I heard your magic activate. It's strange to see you looking so dour.”
Fear's lower lip pushed out, eyes glassy. “I'm just feeling ugly. Not good enough. You know?”
Acrid hummed, picking it up from Faith. “I know you're a bug, but why would that make you feel ugly?”
The young stallion knew there was a compliment hiding in there somewhere. “I feel like an imposter I suppose,” he whispered, “like I'm not everything everyone tells me I am. Like I'm fooling everyone into liking me.” That my past sins are my real defining trait.
Acrid glanced away from Fear, narrowing his eyes. “I don't think it matters honestly, whether you're an imposter or not. I grew up in a society where it was what you could do for your nation rather than what your nation could do for you. It was envied to be of use, to be successful.” Acrid paused. “So as far as I'm concerned as long as you've been of use that's all that matters, you can't possibly be that ugly.” Acrid looked back to Fear, then pointed to the screw necklace. “Where'd you get that necklace anyway? It seems unnatural somehow.” By the tone of his voice, it had clearly been eating at him for awhile. “It's a strange thing to be carrying with you either way. A weird fashion statement.”
Fear chewed on his response for a bit. Literally, as he squinted a bit. “When I oppose others, I see myself. I see what I could have become. When I face opposition in life I see what I truly am.” His eyes widened a bit in realization. Maybe his feelings of being an imposter were irrational? But how could he stop feeling like that? There had to be some truth to it if it nagged at him so hard. “I guess I usually define myself by my struggles? And live in spite of them.” He hadn't considered that line of thought for a couple years. “Screws and spirals are the same. They continue twirling forward no matter what, and are defined by the paths they're able to carve out. Change, healing, reinforcing. Potentially destroying. Creating. I guess...” He huffed. “When I see it I'm reminded of who I'm supposed to be and what I wish to be.”
Acrid chuckled. “Yeah smartass, but where'd you get it? It doesn't look... normal.”
Fear huffed, even harder, before starting up a conversation about Princess Luna.
Saway watched Fear with a kind yet violent glare. “It's always a pleasure to see you nowadays Fear. You always warm my cold heart.” The behavior was new to Fear.
“You know, before you became all sappy I used to always wish to be badass like you. You always seemed to know just how to act to get across your point.” The young stallion looked askew. “I've been wanting to feel better about myself lately, so I'm curious. How can I be badass like you usually are?”
Saway's eyes contracted, staring into Fear's soul. “Hmm... well. It's a case of badass versus edgy. Silent versus big mouth. Actions speak louder than your words ever will. You want to keep speeches to a minimum, Presence speaks louder than threats. Be there, announce yourself only if you need to. Be simple and quippy if you want to be humorous and lighten the mood. Be a rock in hard times, not a wibbly wobbly edgelord who's all talk.”
Fear dwelled on that, listening intently.
“Don't blather on about your pain or how you go about things unless someone asks. A good creature doesn't want to talk about how they've messed up or how they're going to do the things they hate doing while being a leader, not unless they're being a kindhearted teacher. It's simple in practice, but it takes some getting used to when you're young and impulsive.” Saway nodded once, confirming it, while holding a hoof against her chest. Her mulberry mane hung over her eyes by a bit. Clumps scattered about.
Fear was a little intense in that moment, boring a hole into Saway with his gaze. “Huh, really? I guess I'll have to try to think of some witty quips when I come to the rescue.”
Saway rolled her eyes. “Only if you're meant to lighten the mood, Fear. It has to come from the heart, in the moment. Otherwise it's all about letting your aura speak for itself. Remain short and sweet.” Saway reached out and ruffled Fear's mane. “You'll get it if you practice.”
“It's good to see you little Fear.” Luna's voice had a dose of amusement to it, a bemused smile spread across her face. Her body might've been dilapidated but her eyes were strong, powerful. “I had something I wished to speak with you about.”
Fear's hooves clopped under him, though it was more a feeling than a sound. “Really? What's that?” He still had that coltish curiosity and charm from when he was younger, and always would.
“I've been finding... monsters in the dreamscape as of late.”
“Monsters?” Fear queried. “What kind of monsters? What kind of monsters could exist here that aren't a product of our subconscious?”
Luna grinned, then frowned. “I am not sure. I'm still investigating it. They seem to be creeping into dreams and feeding off of those who sleep. Siphoning power. I keep blasting the parasites away, but dreamkiller does not work. I have to use actual spells.” She shook her head. “Based on their appearance, I call them Surreal. I just wanted to tell you because...” She appeared uncertain, a hoof lifting into the air, eyes jerking to the side. “I might need your help with it soon. If I cannot find the source I'm going to need extra hooves on deck where I can get them. It's tiring to fight them off so constantly.”
Fear got the distinct impression that things were going to get worse from here on out.
Nyx swept a hoof outward to the form, constructing atom by atom, molecule by molecule right in front of Fear's eyes, made of dream building blocks and memories. It had its home in Nyx's mind, a parasite to the stallion's memory. He was host to all sorts of creatures and experiences that continued to throb within the dreamscape, just waiting to be revealed.
The dragon before Fear was covered in chunky, overgrown, iron colored scales with chipped edges here and there, looking a little like protruding stalagmites made of unrefined iron. Chaffed silver underbelly covered in scars. Broad, bulky chest with some fat under the thick horizontally ribbed hide that went from chin to tail. Huge, muscled arms, standing quadrupedally, with stubbier hindlegs. Long, snake-like tail that was twice his body length. Oversized wings that folded into itself like compacting fans. Slate gray membranous tissue connecting the bones. Piercing golden irises with crimson rods, seeming to jut out slightly from his corneas, the slitted pupils inset stared deep into the young stallion's soul. A grand, slightly gouging scar across his left eye. Fear always thought eye scars were cool. He was an intimidating force of nature that knew no bounds, whose rippling muscles could surpass any limit, whose acutely razor sharpened claws could cleave through titanium, whose wings could help him soar above the clouds. He came from the earth, and he conquered the skies. Dragon Lord Airyl. Fear noted he smelled strongly of sulfur. Like a campfire or gunfire.
As the personality was recalled like a programmed AI, Nyx spoke. “My friend dragonlord Airyl here was a bitter creature, and yet still he cared for his kind. He'd known only unrequited love for various reasons. I hope you will never go through that, young Fear.” Nyx's draconic pupils contracted. “He was abused by his father, yet healed himself for the sake of his kind.” As Nyx spoke, those memories coalesced behind Airyl's eyes, giving them life. “Even then he still had elements of a hatchling hiding in his... hide. He liked to play with his food, and would act like his gems were birds of prey.” Nyx dipped his head, smiling from ear to ear at the memory.
“Why didn't you ever show me him when I was practicing befriending creatures?”
Nyx looked back up, humming, the act contagious. “To be honest I did not think you capable of befriending leaders at the time.” The young stallion glanced at Nyx and withered. “Don't be like that,” he chastised without looking at him. “You were already incredibly overwhelmed during your training. Do you really think you would have been comfortable with that?”
“Yeah, but... Solanum was a leader.”
Nyx nodded. “Exactly.”
Fear just huffed, glowering at the sight in front of him.
“Now, chin up. Put on your A-game young Fear. I'm bringing the construct to life. He will ignore my presence. Try not to act like food for him.” Nyx shot Fear a sly grin and stepped to the side.
Airyl's eyes lit up, and with one deft movement rose to his hindlegs like he was a bipedal creature by nature, crossing his forelegs over his chest and flaring out his wings wide. A bellow escaped his lips, straight from the gut. A type of speaking Fear could learn from. “Who dares enter my presence!?”
Fear straightened himself out, jerking his head to the side to crick his neck, and rolled his shoulders backwards. He took a step forward and pulled straight from his gut, matching the dragon lord tone for tone with a glare on his face. “My name is Fearei Shatter! I am a friend here to coexist!” While the memory didn't know they were on the moon, Fear did. It was strange, being so out of place.
“Bah! Mere words from a tiny pipsqueak!” The dragon fell down onto all fours, sending a cloud of dust rocketing across Fear's body, making him squeeze his eyes shut and curl away on reflex. “Can't even stand strong in the face of a little dust! How can I trust you to be amongst my kind and be strong enough to aid us? Strong enough to take care of yourself!? You are no more than a whelp!”
Fear struggled to remember his training with dragons, and took a defiant step forward, keeping his head slightly bowed in a faint display of passivity. A strange combination of traits that barely worked together. “Oh yeah?” He dared puff out his chest and demand. “I implore you try staring straight ahead when smoke is in your face!”
“Hah!” The dragon was by far bigger than Fear, probably ten or twenty times bigger. “Little pipsqueak speaks big for such a tiny thing!” Airyl lifted a paw and hovered it over Fear's head.
Fear didn't flinch.
Airyl brought the paw down on Fear's head, gently touching his stubby horn. “I thought unicorns were supposed to have huge, mighty horns!”
Fear took another step forward, still keeping his head lightly bowed in a show of deference. “Oh yeah? And I thought dragon lords were supposed to be,” language, Fearei he reminded himself, “terrifying! I see no such thing!”
Airyl's lips tugged into a slight grin. “Mighty spirit, little pony! But could you back it up in a contest?” There was an amused glint to the powerful, resonant voice.
“You,” language, “name it,” language, “Dragon Lord Airyl! I'll come in second place, but I'll survive with my own skill! I guarantee it!”
Airyl lifted his paw, setting it back on the ground, and guffawed. “Mighty indeed. I would love to see you conquer one of your little pony games. Put on a good show for me, and I'll consider your presence among my kind!”
Fear knew from chatting with Nyx that you did not actually need to win a contest put forth by a dragon. It was important to just try, and shit talk the entire time you were doing it. It was all about flaunting, all about the display. Even if you lost, if you did it with more style than your opponent, you still won. Being number one, having strength was important, but it was all about the spirit, your best effort. Fear watched as the simulation ended, and Nyx stepped forth.
“Very well done, Fear. I think you're ready to meet some dragons.” His voice was a low, deep purr. “Time and time again you've exceeded my expectations, and modeled yourself to fit the ideal of every creature I've shown you.”
Fear shrugged a shoulder, cocking his head to the side. “Well I had a superb teacher, so...” Fear trailed off. “By the way, Nyx, I've always wondered. What's up with your eyes?”
Nyx lifted an eyebrow. “I'm surprised you never asked before.”
“Well...” Fear began. “I always assumed it was due to the nightmares ever since Princess Luna showed me her Nightmare Moon form.”
Nyx's face turned to one of surprise. “Oh? And what made you ask?” His head leaned back slightly.
“Hm. I think it was because you don't seem like Saway, where nightmares are fused to you and her eyes aren't different solely due to it. They seem to leave you alone. Not only that but seeing Dragon Lord Airyl's eyes made me realize... yours and his look very similar. The rods are just as pronounced as his, just not a completely different color than the rest of the iris.”
“Impeccable intuition,” Nyx commended. “Yes, you are right. My eyes are similar to that of a dragon's, not because of the nightmares, but because I was gifted draconian magic before leaving their lands.”
Fear huhed. “Draconian magic? What's that consist of?”
Nyx leaned down to Fear's eye level. “Nothing incredible. Just resistance to heat, the power of flame breath. It's far more taxing than for a dragon because I do not have the specific organs that aid in the creation of the flames. Further, it's a dull orange rather than green or blue. Hardly very powerful.” He glanced to the side and grinned. “Just enough to dictate me as one of them.”
Fear's eyes were wide in awe. “That's still really cool!”
“You don't say?” Nyx's voice was distant, a smile present in it.
Luna smiled, puffing out her chest and spreading her deteriorated wings wide. “And that is how Flash Magnus, one of the pillars of old Equestria, helped save his companions and prompted the creation of the Treaty of Dragoncross, thus cementing the dragon's respect for the equine species and proving we were worthy.” The alicorn gave a small nod, gazing down upon Fear and furling her wings back to her sides.
Fear yipped. “Wow! That was a great story! I sure feel bad for anyone who missed it!”
“Do you have any questions little Fear?”
Fear hummed, glancing to the side with his eyes, muzzle pointed straight ahead, lips pushing out slightly in a thoughtful expression, brow furrowed. “Well. I mean. It explains how dragons came to respect us, but what about how we became friends? You made it sound like the dragons were really on our case for awhile!” Fear hopped up onto his hindlegs for a moment, stomping his fore down onto the ground.
Luna simply grinned and reached out with a wing to caress Fear's chin affectionately, brushing across the fur. It felt weird, because the feathers weren't all there – it wasn't too luxurious. But even if it was just a dream, the physical touch felt wonderful. “There's not really much of a story to that, though it is as important as Flash Magnus' feat. One of the other pillars of Equestria, Mage Meadowbrook, befriended them for our sake when she cured... what they called wingbreak, what she called scalerot, ending a stand off at the border that had been going on for far too long. As she put it, 'they seem mean but they're really animals just like us.' She was an epitome of kindness during that day and age.”
The young stallion was kind of dazzled. He lacked the same colthood wonder he used to have, but it was made up for by a wizened appreciation of life and the past. “How'd she cure it?”
“She noticed the symptoms they spoke of, when she took the opportunity to talk to them, were the same as symptoms she had dealt with while taking care of animals in her home. She was the only pony to realize it. We owe the pillars for all their efforts.”
Fear seemed uncertain. Anxious about something. “Well that's all well and good but... what'd they do when the war came about? It seemed like we had a pretty good relationship going with them so... surely they helped us right?”
Luna wanted to comfort Fear, able to tell he was getting uncomfortable about the inevitable bad ending to this story. “Well, I suppose to lighten the blow, I should tell you that even though Meadowbrook's efforts led to peace between the two species, we were far from being on friendly terms as a whole. We mostly stayed separate, and there were sentiments of hatred between both sides, with dragons finding most ponies to be soft and sheltered, and ponies finding most dragons to be terrifying creatures with predatory habits. You could call it... jerkishness I suppose.” Luna looked off to the side at the stained glass windows depicting different moments throughout Equestria's history, including during the war, walking over toward a particular one while Fear followed behind her.
The one they stared at, the one that held their attention at that moment was a portrayal of a raptor-class cloudship named Dracocide scouring the earth with energy weapons, razing the earth and vaporizing bits of dragon. There was a sense of unease overtaking Luna. “Fear. You are familiar with propaganda, yes?”
Fear nodded. “I am. The Ministry of Morale used it constantly, and the Ministry of Image modified everything they could get their hooves on to be pro-equine during the war. Why?” Fear's gaze fell from the portrayal and onto Luna.
Luna's eyes narrowed. “The zebra's were very keen on manipulating most, though not all, the dragons of that time. The problem is, many innocent dragons, which are a normally nomadic species, were caught up in it. Many lives were lost due to the dragon specific weaponry held on those Enclave ships.” She looked down at Fear. “And do you know what balefire eggs are made of, little Fear?”
The young stallion took a step back, glancing toward the ground. He swallowed hard. He didn't like where this was going. “No. What?”
“They are made of primarily dragon eggs that have undergone rituals. Not only were dragons from that day and age betrayed by the ponies who had once aided them, not only were they betrayed by the zebras who promised them riches and notoriety in the face of a rising culture that vilified anything not equine, but they were also... little Fear. They were also betrayed by the very dragons that were pulled in by the propaganda. Those dragons took eggs and willingly gave them to the zebras.”
The amount of weight those words carried was intense. Fear had felt the miasma of Nightmare Pressure before, and this was akin to that, only far more miserable. Fear had been sure he was done with misery for a long time, but whenever he thought that, the past came rearing its ugly head. “So you're saying... saying that the dragons were victims?” He looked back up to Luna as he asked.
“Little Fear, I am so sorry, but yes. They were keen fighters, intelligent, dangerous, and many were killed. Nearly rendered extinct in their role. There was nothing we could do. Especially with... ministry mare Pinkamena Diane Pie going all in with her new job.” Luna's gaze returned to the stained glass. “She was damaged by the war effort, had no clue what she was doing. I should not have put all that pressure on her. She just wanted to make ponies happy. And through it she pushed everypony... no, everyone away. All the small things she did built up to one giant result.”
Fear watched Luna carefully, realizing she was trembling as if she'd fall apart any second. “We made a lot of mistakes in the past, Princess. All we can do is move forward and help the ponies in the present. Make a new future.”
Princess Luna breathed in, though she didn't need to. More a representation of her consciousness trying to relax. Her chest rose, and she looked back to Fear. “I know, little Fear. It will always be painful. But as you taught me, we can overcome with enough effort.” Luna put a hoof on Fear's head, lightly ruffling his mane. “By the way, I am really happy to know your father personally. I never mentioned but...”
Fear's eyes brightened a bit, focusing on Luna again as she pulled the hoof away.
“Your father sometimes puts on plays for me in his sleep. I missed the theater ever since my half death, and it is a pleasure to be able to indulge in the arts once more. You would not believe how difficult it is to read in your sleep.” Her tone was one of amusement, a gentle glee hidden behind her voice, cheeks rising up over her eyes in mirth. “So... thank you for introducing me to him. It has been a pleasure.”
The dragonlands were exactly how Faith had described it in her story, but a little more colorful. The yellows and reds of the veiny magma gushing through cracks in the basalt rock generating gentle embers, with little lichens and small bushes of various plantation scattered around growing up from it all. There were volcanos scattered here and there, off and on active, but nopony seemed to mind.
Or so it seemed.
Fear was actually very scared of it all! Acrid was wary. But they were more than capable of getting over the small parts that disallowed traditional travel, with Fear using telekinesis to float his companions over, and making steps out of magic for himself to walk over a few feet above any of the acidic, heated streams. A combination of physical and mental effort.
Acrid, while stepping over a tiny crack of lava, huffed, his hackles rising on end. “You ever get the feeling that, like, something or someone's watching you?” He looked up from where he was walking, into the air.
Fear glanced back toward Acrid, being careful where he stepped. All the basalt rock was rather stiff and firm, none of it caving in under, but it never paid to be too careful! Faith had told him stories. Minor ones, of dragons falling in like a pony through ice. Difference was, dragons didn't die.
Gentler was the first to respond. “Yes. And now that you mention it...” His askew whiskers quivered a little as his snout wiggled. “It does feel like something's watching us.”
Faith stopped to point in the distance toward a large, towering rock that looked like a talon. “There it is! We're almost there!” She was of course referring to the specific landmark. “The dragons shouldn't have moved too far from where they were when I left. Either way, Drax will find us!”
Acrid was the first to put two and two together. “What if he already has found us?” Acrid rolled his shoulders a bit, glancing wildly from side to side for whatever was giving him that unsettling sensation.
Fear was the first to yelp, jumping backwards, drawing everyone else's attention and bringing them on guard, though Acrid mostly hid himself, as something seemingly materialized in front of him unexpectedly. “What the Tartarus!?”
What appeared was a four propeller drone. A magnificent work of art, looking to be made purely of bismuth, a veritable rainbow of colors, with a sleek design like a torpedo with a lens on the front, a holotape slot in back, and a turret on the bottom. It glistened and gleamed, like a glorious crystal. It looked like it was bathed in oil, with how spectral and glossy it was.
Fear was immediately on edge, having never seen anything like that before.
Faith, not feeling any sense of danger, pushed past Fear and squeed. “It's the Alicorsair!” The others looked at it curiously with mixed expressions, two worried, the other... well, Gentler had barely an expression at all besides amusement. Fear hadn't been able to sense this machine at all. Though... now that he focused on it, there was a faint sensation on the brink, close to nothing at all. It felt like he could barely grasp it, quieter than a whisper. A long forgotten echo of something else. Fear realized that the machine was feeding off of someone else's mind.
Drax? Fear glanced to Faith questioningly as the lens on the drone contracted before releasing a holographic image, life size, of the dragon Fear had heard about.
The dragon looked far more imposing in person than in any story. Fear came up to his knees. It was terrifying. The young stallion's ears folded back against his skull, intimidated by his sheer presence even as a hologram. It wasn't as powerful as Solanum, but there was a certain leader-like oomph Fear knew he didn't have.
The voice that spoke was low, guttural. Yet surprised. “Faith? Faith is that you!?” The hologram held his arms out to the mare, before realizing, when Faith tried to tackle him in a hug, that he was incorporeal and couldn't touch anything, coughing into a hand. “Ah, ahem. Right. It's good to see you again, but... what are you doing here?”
Fear knew from chatting with Faith that they had explored the capabilities of the Alicorsair. After Drax had aligned his mind with it, he could see what it saw as if a third eye, attuned to his soul signature. As he thought on it, he didn't even realize he'd completely lost track of Gentler and Acrid, too focused on the vague emotions in front of him that... he kind of felt.
Faith chirped like she'd never left at all. “I wanted to come check on you! It's been so long and I felt so bad that I haven't made the journey in so long! I... I missed you. And there was no way at my age I could be coming here to the dragon lands on my own all over again, even with the Alicannon. Raiders aren't as easy to take care of as you'd think.”
Fear guffed. “Well I mean... they're not that bad when you're a stealthy assassin and sniper like me.” He pressed a hoof to his chest while the other two glanced at him with a look of incredulity.
Drax had a hand against his face, stumbling back slightly. “I... I never expected this. Makers, this is... not good.” He murmured to himself. “Well, Faith. It's a pleasure to see you and your...” he glanced to Fear and Gentler, eyes glossing over Acrid. “New friends. Let the drone guide you to our home. You're more than welcome to stay for awhile.” And with that the hologram immediately ceased.
Gentler was silent. Acrid said the words Fear was thinking. “Huh, he didn't stick around long.”
Faith shrugged. “He... probably just wants to see us in person before we do introductions.” The preacher sounded unsure. Something was off about this.
Upon arriving, life became a sort of blur. There were various pastel dragons, with varying shapes, sizes, structures, and ages, some without wings looking more like drakes than proper dragons, all ranging from stout and blocky, all the way to lanky and curvy, and everything in between. Some clashing, others complementing, much like ponies, but far duller. Some of the youngest ones ran toward Faith, recognizing her and tackling her, still not quite old enough to gain their wings, but old enough to remember the mare.
Fear didn't know what to make of any of it, life seeping into everything as his friends tried to get to know some of the dragons surrounding them. Instantly hitting up conversation. The young stallion was at a loss, unsure where to start, or how to begin for that matter. Drax wasn't around right now. He overheard one of the whelps tell Faith that he was busy scavenging at the moment.
The first thing that stood out to Fear though were the vibes of disrespect he got from a little corner of dragons, looking to be teens, all but one having their wings. About four of them total. Fear made his way over to them slowly, wondering why they seemed so stuck up, a look of curiosity on his face. When he was within earshot he heard them chiding and deriding the group who had just showed up. Fear, still in a socially-induced fugue, though not nearly as bad as when he'd met everypony at the farm house in Dryfield, barely made out things like “weak ponies” and “not worth the effort to welcome them in.”
Fear called out to them. “Hey.” He puffed out his chest and cheeks a little, holding his head high. “I resent that remark!”
One of the dragons, a shade of melting greens and yellows twisted around to face Fear. “Quiet, whelp, adults are having a conversation.”
Fear scoffed, his head rolling up and to the side, eyes glancing away. “Is that so? I thought I saw most of the adults back there interacting with us. What's got your squad's panties in a knot? Afraid some ponies Drax thinks are important are too good for you?”
The dragon turned around fully and stomped up to Fear, poking a claw into his chest, nearly hard enough to pierce flesh. “Big words for a traitorous colt. And that's Drax Novus to you. He's our new leader. Show some respect, whelp.”
Fear pulled out a grin. “I'm Fearei Shatter, and you are?”
The dragon jabbed Fear again, pushing him back a step. “You don't need to know my name because there's no way you're even nearly as good as us dragons. Only way you can match our strength is with your bullshit energy weapons.” The dragons behind him cheered and whooped, encouraging their leader.
Fear just looked unamused, eyes lidded and lips frowning. By this point his friends had come up behind him, realizing something was wrong, and a few other dragons were staring. “Well, why don't you choose a game, anything you want, and I'll beat you at it, hooves down.” It was important to earn a dragon's respect, especially one like this.
The dragon teen smirked. “Brave little pony. Alright, how about a race down that.” He pointed to a volcano a few miles away. “You win, you prove you and your friends deserve our respect.” He then used the same hand to give a thumbs down. “You die, and you prove you're just fodder for the new dragon empire. Including Faith.” He jammed his thumb toward the mare.
Fear let out a bark of laughter. “Sure thing! You're on!” It was important to just try. He was... relatively sure they wouldn't let him die. Besides he had shadow walking and transformation, how bad could a little lava be?
Faith looked incredibly uncomfortable, her lips undulating and pulling downward, eyebrows leaning outward, bringing a hoof up to try and stop Fear and tell him it wasn't worth it while a bunch of dragons whooped and roared around her at the competition developing. Still, she trusted Fear, so she quashed her motherly anxieties.
Gentler just had an expression of infatuated shock and pride on his face, once more enamored by Fear's absolute gall. Just when he thought the equine would stop surprising him, he did it all over again, even harder than last time. It was almost demeaning.
Acrid on the other hoof stomped up to Fear. Sounding baffled, he rebuked the young stallion. “You're crazy! Absolutely nuts! You will catch fire and die! There's no way you can withstand that kind of heat Fear! Stop this stupid attempt at masculinity! It's not worth dying for!”
Fear just stood tall, waiting for the dragons to lead the way.
The dragon in the lead chortled. “I mean you're right little pony, he probably will! But if he has a deathwish none of us are going to stop him. Foolish creatures need to be put in their place. That's what Drax Novus says.”
One of the minions, having also been laughing as the group headed for the volcano, spoke up. “If we're feeling lenient we might pick him out before he catches fire! We don't want to get in trouble after all.” The dragon grinned. “Maybe anyway.” Then laughed again.
A few of the adult dragons, one rather ancient from the time during the war, expecting a good show from the pony who'd willingly challenged a dragon at one of his own games, helped carry the squad up to the top of the volcano. Fear appreciated the help, and voiced as much. It would have been far harder to get up on his own.
Acrid was terrified of heights, holding his eyes shut the entire time. Earth ponies belonged on the ground! He legit screamed his head off at one point, which caused the dragon holding him to play around and pretend to lose control of the air currents and plummet toward the ground.
Suffice to say, Acrid wet himself, embarrassingly. But he played it off and took it in good humor. He wasn't a total jerk.
Gentler was as stoic as ever while carrying Fear's saddlebags and weapons, but Fear could feel the thrum of fright deep within his core. He wasn't used to flying on anything other than an airship, and due to their conversations from the past had learned that Gentler preferred to avoid riding on them. Something about not believing they were able to work the way they did.
Faith trusted the dragons wholeheartedly and wasn't scared even slightly. She called to the others that Drax had carried her many times before and she'd always cheered and whooped during. She had a giant smile on her face the whole time – so happy to be spending time with the dragons again! Even if she was worried for Fear.
Fear on the other hoof was tentative, scared, and excited all at once. He was the type of pony who would choose the window seat on an airship cruise (not that he'd ever been on one) and worry about crashing at the same time. The adrenaline high was addicting, and the view was extravagant. The wind against the face was cool and lit up nerves in his brain he didn't know he had. It was wild, exotic. It made him wish he was a pegasus. His body shook in the grasp of the ancient dragon who held him, occasionally glancing down at his passenger with a glint of intrigue. Fear was already making waves, making ripples, even if foolishly.
As they were set down mindless chatter filled the air and everyone got into position. Fear could make out some of it, his companions being told that during the race they'd be carried down toward the bottom so that they could watch from a bird's eye view while they raced to the base.
The entire time, throughout all of this, Fear sensed the very faint presence of Drax, as if it was far away. Fear was certain that the Alicorsair was watching them. Watching him.
The green and yellow dragon from before picked up a couple rather hefty slabs of smooth stone, with a few ripples on it, and tossed one to Fear, who caught it in his magic.
Fear was thankful for his daily telekinetic lessons with Rose. They'd gotten strong together.
“Alright whelp, you sure you don't want to back down?” There seemed to be a hint of concern in the teen's voice.
Fear shook his head. “Nope. We're doing this. I'm going to prove ourselves to you. We can do this. I'm not some namby pamby pony who can't endure anything.” He flashed a grin. “Just make sure not to get in my way too much.” Fear winked.
The dragon smiled a bit, in awe of the young stallion's gall. Still, it seemed to be just that. He'd be singing a different tune once he got on the lava. “Alright. Your funeral. Luckily for you you're a unicorn so you don't need to worry about paddling to the slope.” The dragon's icy eyes, both in emotion and color, revolved in an arch. “By the way, the name's Tristram. You seemed to have earned that much, whelp.”
Fear smiled, making his way for the edge of the lava pool, glancing down the slope where there were many turns and obstacles. It was like a Sonic the Hedgehog level, where you could go the fast, dangerous path that had very few swerves but a lot of obstacles. Rather straight forward. Or you could go the meandering, slow path that was far safer. And there were also a few other paths in between, and they occasionally overlapped. Some had ramps you could slide past, others had deeper pits, pools of lava. The volcano's slope didn't go just straight down, it had a few plateaus where you'd need to keep your speed. “Nice to meet you Trist.”
Tristram just grinned, shaking his head. “You're a crazy equine, I'll give you that. Are you always like this?” The others were approaching from behind. None of the others were participating. This was just between Trist and Fear.
“I mean... sometimes you just gotta take the initiative, show bravery in the face of danger. Use what you have to your advantage.” Fear threw Trist a glance, setting his surfboard in the lava and hopping on it. Nothing happened, he didn't catch fire.
Trist was surprised to say the least, and it showed on his dumbstruck face. “How are you doing that?”
Fear shrugged. “Maybe I'll tell you when we get to the bottom.” He was swaying a bit, trying to keep his balance as he stood on all fours, using telekinesis pulses to lightly push his board to the edge of the slope where everything would begin. He'd have to choose which way he'd go. Fear could feel Trist conniving. It was succulent, directed at him. A sort of slimy obsession that tickled his mind. It was always attractive when others directed that feeling toward him.
“Right, whatever.” Trist hopped into the lava, his board sinking into it a little. It was viscous and springy, playdoughy. The dragon laid on his stomach on the board, paddling with legs and arms to get to the edge, before standing up, left side facing forward like he was getting into a fighting stance, balancing himself. “Be careful, Fear. I don't know if you've ever done anything like this before but it's not easy.” He paused. “I might catch you if you fall in. But you'll probably fall into the lava and get severe burns first.
The rock under Fear nearly seared his hooves, but he was using transformation magic to handle it. Even though he'd generated what amounted to thermophilic bacteria all over his body, especially his legs and hooves to create insulation, it didn't stop the dangerous heat from creeping up on him. But that was what the other morph was for. His legs covered in flame retardant proteins. It was difficult, and he couldn't do it forever, but he could do it long enough to get to the bottom.
Problem was, it was hard to keep his balance, and falling in wasn't going to do him any favors no matter how good at changeling magic he was. Fear silently thanked Emulae for her lessons on basic transformations that could keep him stable in even somewhat extreme temperatures. She'd also taught him about Dsup proteins, which were good for protecting against radiation, but it was difficult to manage them throughout his entire body still.
Emulae had taught Fear all she could, and it was now time for him to put the fruits of his training to the test.
Fear glanced at Trist with lidded eyes. “Just tell me when to start and we can get going.” Everyone around them watched with bated breath as Fear tilted and wobbled on his board, before finally finding his balance. Everything felt warm.
Trist leaned forward, dipping a leg into the lava.
“Three!”
Both of them pushed off, Fear with telekines, Trist with a foot, and without further ado both of them were soaring down.
The heat flowing across Fear's face and body was blistering under normal circumstances, but as the wind pushed past his face, flattening his ears against his skull, he got low to the board, pointing his head forward, planting his hindlegs together behind him, increasing his aerodynamism. Lessons from Emulae again. As he realized the wind gushing past him was becoming unbearable for his eyes, he used a little transformation magic to give himself a second pair of eyelids, these ones transparent like a camel’s. It was good enough for a sandstorm but he’d find out soon enough if it was suitable for this.
Trist occasionally glanced toward Fear as they sailed down neck and neck, with the dragon slowly creeping forward.
Fear didn't hesitate, leaning to one side and sending his board nicking Trist's, causing him to stumble and laugh, lagging behind a foot. They were coming close to an intersection.
Trist pulled up a gout of flame in his chest and spewed it at Fear to scare him.
Fear just lowered himself closer to the board as the scenery blurred past him, going upwards of sixty miles an hour. The young stallion used telekinesis to keep the wind from launching him off of his board. He sped up. It'd take less than ten minutes for them to get to the bottom if they continued at this accelerating speed. Getting out of range of the gout.
Trist endured the wind pressure with sheer power. “Well, you're certainly skilled!” He shouted over the roar of wind and bubbling of magma. “But let's see if you're skilled enough!”
Fear knew exactly what the dragon's intent was. Go to the far right, his body reacted on instinct. Trist was going to go fast, so was he. Leaning nearly caused him to fall into the lava, but with a little application of telekinesis he stayed on, gently coaxing his small body down the speedier path.
Trist lowered a bit more, getting down to Fear's level. That was the only reason he was slightly faster. The dragon started gaining a little more speed, slowly encroaching on Fear as he turned the slant too.
Five miles left.
Fear was good, could sense organic life forms easily enough, but it was hard to avoid the rocks that jutted out of the lava and not crash into them. He would literally crash and burn if he hit one.
But this was where Trist's size came into play. Using his body he could more easily glide to the side without losing any speed. Fear had to make far more profound movements to direct his sled. His body was too small.
Trist passed by Fear by a couple inches.
Fear saw the dragon was climbing, getting further ahead. He had a few options, could swerve and try to knock him off – he'd be fine – or he could attempt to...
The young stallion aimed his sled at the next rock, leaning toward the back and causing his board to tilt upwards at the front.
Trist saw it when glancing to Fear again as the ground came closer.
Fear vaulted off the rock, rocketing into the air. He gripped the front of his board with his forelegs, speeding up as nothing but air pressure held him back. As he arced through the air, starting his descent, Fear tried to angle his slab just right for impact. Soaring through the sky was unpleasant, creating a fervor inside of him.
Fear glanced backward, feeling Trist's presence climbing up on him again. He'd done the same as him.
“Crafty little whelp!” He cried out, digging his claws into the stone and flapping his wings to keep him airborne. “You can't do this forever! I'm going to win! Once you hit the ground you're out!”
Fear held himself against his board tight, ears pressed against his skull. “Not if I do this!”
Trist gaped at the young stallion at the thought he had something more up his sleeve, while he descended as well toward one of the plateaus.
Four miles.
Fear, feeling the wind whip under him, making a cutting noise as he sliced through the air at a high velocity, used telekinesis to lighten his weight, nearly floating, letting his momentum carry him He could see the pool of lava coming up fast. Fear braced for impact. If he didn't do this right he was going to burn to death.
The young stallion fought to keep his eyes open against the wind blowing back his cheeks. So much speed! It was hard to focus. Fear took a deep breath... and sank into the shadows.
His board plunged into the lava, going at a rapid pace.
Trist screamed.
Fear's entire body was sizzling, there was so much light! But not that much. His body coiled around the board, straining tight to hold to it and not be yanked off. It helped that deep below the surface there wasn't quite as much light, but it still hurt, made him wriggle and squirm. It was low infrared glow but it was still light. There was just enough shade to keep him attached.
Consecutive pulses of telekinesis slowly angled Fear's board, curving it up and making it rise toward the surface.
Just a little bit more. Fear felt himself burst out from the surface of the lava a moment later. His board going flying again, surging into the air once more. He popped out of the shadows, gasping for air, a thin film of lava surrounding his board. It was incredibly hot to the touch! But he endured, even as the frogs of his hooves reddened. Fear tried to keep his transformation up. His teeth grit and his jaw flexed, his throat bulging out slightly as he swallowed hard, persisting through even the first degree burns. It cooled off quickly as air whiffed by him, soaring through the sky again, hooves made of shadows for just a bit longer to keep himself connected to the board.
Trist roared in frustration as he saw the pony overtake him by a wide margin, letting himself fall into the lava, splashing up a torrent, and trying to model his body after a bullet to go fast, arms extended behind him to make himself more angular.
Fear was more terrified than he'd ever been before. Being so high up in the air made his heart nearly stop, everything looking so small. The lava looked like blood vessels under flesh, brimming to the top, the few various vegetations looking like dots on the horizon. His organs were rising in his body from the lack of gravity holding him down, including his brain, making him light. He knew it wouldn't last. His breath coming out in short pants. Fear angled himself downward, intending to fall straight onto the steepest slope, using a little telekinesis to slowly line himself up. His body tingled. As he started to fall, all his organs dropped to the bottom of his body, throwing off his sense of balance completely. It was like being on a thrill ride at a theme park.
Stomach weak, Fear tried to keep himself in check.
Three miles.
Fear took a deep breath.
Sank into the shadows.
And nearly dove back into the lava on the slope as his board threatened to lose control, barely staying on a straight and narrow path. The ride was crazy, but he was doing it. He popped back out after a moment, the canyon-like walls that surrounded him threatening to topple over him as he wound from side to side, trying to keep going. His vision was hazy, his hooves burned, his focus failing him. His heart was pitter pattering in his chest. Everything was a blur.
Trist came up beside him, hugging tight to his board, trying his best to speed up. Impacting with the lava and kicking some up had caused Fear to slow down.
On second glance, Fear realized Trist was using his wings to speed himself up, using the wind currents to propel himself faster.
Two miles.
Fear morphed his body, trying to make himself more angular as well, but he could only go so far given his quadrupedal nature. Trist had far more flexibility over his body.
Trist smirked at Fear as he crept a little further forward.
Fear needed to do something! He needed to win!
There were swerves coming up. Fear leaned into them, Trist flowed past them, using as little motion as possible, keeping as straight as he could.
It was hard to keep up, Trist was going all out, he could tell. Fear felt intent emerge from Trist's consciousness. A desire to win unfalteringly. Fear prepared himself for the dragon to spin and send up a wave of lava behind him.
But it didn't come. Changed his mind.
Trist just sped up even faster.
One mile.
The base was coming up fast.
Fear needed to do something!
All the adrenaline pumping through him wasn't enough.
The speed was too much!
Fear's mind locked up.
Trist just kept going, showing off the difference in skill and capability.
Fear could use nightmare pressure! He couldn't bring himself to though. That was unfair. Trist hadn't thrown lava at him, how could he paralyze him after that?
The bottom was approaching fast. Zooming in too swiftly for comfort.
Fear gave in.
Trist crossed the finish line first, followed in short order by Fear.
Everyone was cheering.
Fear was disappointed, weighed down by his emotions. His lips tugged down into a frown.
But everyone was cheering. Even his friends. Acrid was whooping it up. Even the stoic Gentler was getting rowdy, pumping his fists into the air.
Fear pushed himself over closer to the edge, hopping up onto the rock, and collapsed on his belly. Adrenaline seeping from him in a single moment. He'd have to tell Trist how he did it. He mentioned he'd come close to trying to paralyze him and keep him from winning.
Trist, excited and brimming with primal energy, assured him that no amount of strange powers mattered. It had been a good contest. Next time he shouldn't hold back, even if he'd held back too.
Fear couldn't help but smile. He'd earned their respect, even if he lost. As the adrenaline high wore off, his breathing regulating, his muscles finally responding to him again, Fear realized he'd just done something incredible. He tried to convince himself that no imposter could have done that, but it was difficult. As he conversed with the dragons about the race, growing closer to Trist and his friends, Acrid looking on in bewilderment and envy, Gentler experiencing excitement and jealousy, Fear semi-healed the frogs of his hooves. The skin suffering from first degree burns peeled off forcefully, new skin taking its place. It would take a full hour for the pseudo healing to take place, sort of like when he'd shed and grown out his fur and hair, but it would keep him from feeling as much of the pain while walking.
The family of dragons and Fear's squad had congregated at a pool of magma a little ways away from the volcano, all of them chatting it up and shooting the breeze. Even Fear had joined in by this point, adrenaline having purged all hesitation and introversion from his system for a little while. Most of the dragons slipped into the pool, wading around in it, the children staying near the edge so they wouldn't fall into the deeper parts. It was good for their scales, strengthened their bodies. Like a mudbath. It was good for their souls. Fear, Acrid, Faith, and Gentler stayed on the rim, hanging out a couple feet away from the edge, letting it warm up their bodies a bit without burning them. It was better than a fire in the chilling air.
Trist was the first to speak up. “You, whelp, you know any good camp stories?”
A grin teased at Fear's lips as he dragged his hooves against the rock. “Hmm, I might know something like that Trist. Why do you ask?”
Trist guffawed. “Because, Fear, sometimes us dragons get together and a few of us tell stories for a couple hours while we wait for Drax to return. Then the next day we go on the hunt for gems and such. Not that there are many around anymore. Most were mined away.”
Fear hummed. “That's too bad, I'm sorry.”
Trist was genuinely surprised by the show of empathy. He just growled. “Shut up.” He glanced off to the side, blushing slightly, his cheeks turning a shade of crimson. “We don't need your pity.”
Fear just looked down at the dragon in the pool next to him. “It's not pity. Just... empathy. I learned about you guys, what you've been through, sort of, from Princess Luna-”
Trist cut Fear off. “Princess Luna is dead, and good riddance to that traitor. She could've helped us, made sure we weren't taken advantage of. But no, we were divided, some becoming enemies to both sides. The oldest among us were eliminated.”
Fear's eyes lidded a bit, and he kept silent, holding his mouth shut for a few moments. Fear lifted his forelegs over his head and stretched, making his limbs quiver from the strain. “I don't blame you. You wanted stories right? I think I have one. I've been working on it for awhile. You might enjoy it.”
Trist grumbled. “Is that so? Well you can start us off then.” Trist rose his voice. “Everyone keep quiet! It's time for pony tales!” He held his hand out to Fear, gesturing to him. “Our guest is going to try to regale us. Don't give him the pleasure of easy applause.”
Acrid glanced to Fear. “You're really going to tell a story? You? The softie?”
Fear stuck his tongue out at Acrid. “I'm not that bad at stories, especially scary ones! I got a few under my belt!”
Gentler crossed his arms over his chest, lifting an eyebrow. “Now this I gotta see. You never told me you knew any scary stories Fear.”
Faith hummed happily, rocking in place.
A few dragons whooped, some whelps yelling for Fear to go ahead.
“Surrre, fine.” Fear ahemed, clearing his throat. “But my friends have to also give it a try later.”
Trist flicked a hand. “Sure, whatever.”
Fear nodded once, glancing from Tristram to the pool of dragons and his friends, starting up from the beginning. His voice was as slow as molasses at times, drawing out the story, letting every word sink in. Truth be told, Fear was incredibly excited, with adrenaline blossoming in his chest, a silent fervor raging through him that made him tremble on the spot. He was so enthusiastic about it he couldn't stop the smile from splitting his face.
“Deep in the heart of Manehattan on Silver Spear Avenue lies a certain boutique inhabited by a particular eldritch creature by the name of Slenderstal. A pony of madness, looking like nothing but an alicorn-sized mannequine towering over all who approach it. Its empty, eyeless face glaring at everything that draws near, pulling souls in and tempering them, manipulating them, molding them to its will like a soulless puppet trapping your willpower. It wears a fancy black suit and red tie, form fitting and perfect for its lithe, porcelain stature, as sturdy as metal, and as intricate as clay, and as still as concrete. White as bone, it lives within that boutique, waiting for hapless individuals to wander in with the intent of seeing all pre-war Equestria had to offer. Where there is so much gorgeous clothing, made of silks and other fabrics, this suited pony always catches your eye.”
“This story is about one specific filly coming across the boutique, who came in wanting nothing more than to scavenge a pretty little sundress to look cute in the desolate wastes. She wandered among the racks and aisles, pulling discarded, abandoned clothes out to see each and every one of them, occasionally examining the mannequines that wore such sultry and handsome wares. She couldn't help but imagine, as the air felt stagnant and heavy like usual, what life was like before the war, with ponies in these fanciful duds prancing about and making friends with everyone they came across. As she thought this, she heard a voice.”
“Little filly, do you wish for paradise?” Fear threw his voice, making it sound vague, distant, tantalizing. A controlling nature behind it that echoed loudly. It was a voice he'd learned from his battle with Solanum.
“The filly looked up from a dress that had caught her eye, and heard the voice speak to her again. It sounded like radio static reverberating in her mind.”
“Little filly, do you wish for good times?”
“Little filly, do you wish for good wares?”
“The filly wandered through the oversized boutique looking for the source of that enamoring voice, tastier than buckcakes to her ears. And when she found the source her jaw dropped, her eyes widening in awe. It was then she saw the pristine mannequine that had claimed so many victims before, victims that were all young and aspiring just like her.”
“Little filly, come closer, I have so much to share with you.”
“The filly was entranced, stumbling a bit as she drew closer, one hoof in front of the other, as Slenderstal loomed over her like a great big grandaddy, ready to come alive and wrap her up in a giant hug. It didn't move. Its mouth seemed sewn shut, without the sewing, yet it still spoke those beautiful words that made her head buzz like insects were crawling around and flitting about inside her skull. Yet she wasn't concerned. Instead, she smiled.”
“Dear sir, what is it you want from me?” Fear threw his voice again to match the filly, a voice that was provocatively innocent, the kind of filly that belonged with their parents, not out on their own.
“Dear young one, I just want you to listen to me, listen and let my words fill your mind. Let it all wash away, and let my beauty, my fabulosity, ingrain in your brain like roots. Let the vines creep outward and ensnare all that you are. If you do, you will be as gorgeous as the finest dress.”
“That sounded so pleasant! Thought the filly. To forget everything and be nothing, to be as pretty as these dresses. No, prettier. She welcomed the voice, drawing a little closer... a little closer... standing on her hindlegs and wrapping her forelegs around the mannequine's foreleg. She squeezed so hard, as if squeezing the life out of an adorable puppy. She didn't realize what she was doing, what was happening to her as the radio static grew in frequency, and soon it was overtaking her entire mind.”
Fear paused.
“Everything went black for the filly.”
Another beat.
“It was like being in a fugue caused by radiation sickness, slowly coming to, and then falling back under, constantly seeing the mannequine out of the corner of her eye in those last moments of consciousness.”
“Now her mother, on the other hoof, knew something was wrong right away. A sixth sense caused a chill to run up her spine. She looked for her filly, called out for her, and would constantly see shadows in her peripherals. Dangerous, leaping creatures that wanted to drain her blood right out of her. She became panicked, crying even harder, even louder, wanting her filly with her as she looked through the city. If she wasn't careful a raider was going to come and blow her brains out and fuck her corpse.”
“But that's not what found her first.”
“The filly found her first.”
“Joyous relief filled the mother's heart as she bounded toward her young one, realizing how stupid she'd been to be so concerned. Of course her daughter could take care of herself! She was small, hearty, agile. She could do anything.”
“That's when she saw her daughter's eyes. Blank and white, no irises, no pupils, just corneas. Where had her beautiful eyes gone? As soon as the mother got close enough though. A little closer...” Fear's voice took on a tone of trepidation, lowering toward the ground as he glanced around furtively, fearfully.
“A bit closer.”
Fear cried out. “The filly lept! Pulling out a shard of glass and slicing it through her mother's jugular. The mother screamed, gurgled, blood filled her throat, and soon she was collapsing to the ground as the filly looked on and smiled.”
The filly's voice again. “Dear sir, I have done as you asked, I am beautiful, and will continue to serve you.”
“Dear filly, you have done well, and I will never lead you astray.”
As Fear finished up the story, all of the dragons and even his friends were suitably creeped out. The young stallion had been working on that story for nearly four years, drawing it out and making it better and better. Normally he'd intended to use shadow manipulation to tickle his audience and make them think something was there, when nothing was, as well as use transformation magic to make his visage far more terrifying... there was also nightmare pressure to paralyze his audience, but he figured it was better in this moment to let his words speak for itself.
It seemed that had been the proper choice.
“Is that a real story?” One dragon, rather young, asked.
Fear just smiled, his tail whipping to the side as he sat next to the warm pool of magma. “If you think it is, then it's true.”
The dragon whelp whined. “That's not an answer!”
Acrid shuddered finally, holding himself tight. “I'm going to have nightmares now. I've been to Manehattan's boutiques before and those mannequines always creeped me the fuck out as is. They always looked so dead and lifeless. Like zombies.”
Gentler put two fingers between his lips, whistling. “Not sure I can match that story, Fear! But I'll try later.”
Faith had a whole new appreciation for her friend. The other dragons were just silent, stewing in the still silence.
The ancient dragon finally spoke up. An agely, wizened voice with a bit of a slow drawl that made bodies secrete melatonin, relaxing muscles. “I suppose, that it's only fair that we reciprocate one good story with another. I am sure you will appreciate our myth of Terra, Mover of Mountains.”
Fear looked to the dragon, getting comfortable, slowly adjusting himself, and tilting his head into the air, motioning for him to go on. “I sure would! Thank you sir.”
Garyld, the dragon who spoke, having given his name earlier amidst the flurry of conversation, closed his eyes and began his story. He was an amber-eyed dragon with a couple slits in his folded up wings, an intelligence behind his slitted pupils that one would see in a master detective or an advisor. He was covered in a quilt of golden scales, with a crimson underbelly and orange, wavy horns that flowed over his skull and curled upward. Orange spines flowed over his back, his tail having been melted in half long ago. “Terra was an underdog in every sense of the word, grew up always getting the smallest portions from his family, always being picked on, ridiculed for every single thing under the sun from how long it took him to get his wings all the way to his lazy eye. A klutz, a disappointment. He lived during the period in between dragon lords, and was there to see the new one take the reins.”
He continued, opening his eyes. They drooped slightly as he leaned forward. His voice took on a more powerful lilt, deep and resonant. “He experienced his new dictator's rise to power and subsequent reign, how he grew from a coddled prince who managed to gain the popularity of his kin, bringing him into his number one spot during the Gauntlet of Fire, and how he became a corrupt, power-hungry bastard who wanted no more than to steal the hoards of others for himself.”
The dragon hrmphed. “It was a dark time, long before equines ever settled in what was once known as Equestria. The unnamed dragon lord burned his bridges, and ruled with an iron fist, forcing others to do his bidding, hosting arena matches between whelps and fully grown dragons, pushing us into killing each other off in a sweeping blood shed that knew no limits. All for his entertainment.”
There was a silence that settled over the pool. “Terra's family was being taken away from him, one by one, and he knew soon he'd be next. So he escaped. One would think he ran away from his kind in order to live a life free of everyone else, so as to avoid his upcoming fate and escape his treatment. But no. He searched high and low for a way to defeat the unnamed one, to stand against his searing purple flames, his mighty claws that could render canyons in the earth, and his godly endurance. It was a journey that took a quarter of a century, just traveling across the many lands for many cycles, from continent to continent, briskly seeking not refuge, but salvation.” Garyld closed his eyes again, leaning back and sighing.
Garyld opened one eye. “It wasn't until many miles had he traveled that he learned of an elemental, a powerful sylph that could bend the very earth under her hands, and sought her out, that he found the answers to his problem. The entire time he couldn't stop thinking, 'if I just learn how to upheave the earth itself I can save my brethren,' over and over again, incessantly. To the point of forsaking food, letting his stomach go achingly empty, and throat burningly dry from dehydration. Just so he'd be able to find this magical being. That is not to say there were not times this compassionate dragon questioned himself, had doubts that this would be the one. After all, he had been disappointed before. Yet still he continued, living on the bare minimum.”
Garyld's lips undulated a few times, smacking together, lifting his head to the cloud cover. “It was in this state that he found Sillosi of the Earth. She listened intently his story as she remained in her hovel, within her fountain, hearing of his long, arduous journey full of sacrifice, of his time growing up, and the difficulty with his kind.” Garyld looked back toward Fear, specifically. “He worked hard for an endeavor that may end up being fruitless, having faith in the face of adversity, believing in himself and what he could accomplish if he just got the right power. He was foolish, asinine. But he was compassionate and forgiving. Stupid, yet earnest. He didn't let up, and as Sillosi took care of him for that long week of him regaling her with his tale, she realized that he, more than anyone, was worthy of being bestowed magic untold.”
The dragon smiled a bit, a sort of condescending smirk. “Unfortunately for Terra, he did not realize the struggle he would have to undergo just to harness the power of the earth, to unlock his full magic potential, the level of training he would have to endure just to connect with the world around him and call it to his defense. He didn't understand the trial in wait for him, in order for him to feel the energies in the air. He was not used to magic, could hardly spout flames. Yet still he tried, determined to help us, determined to save his species from another century or more of the unnamed dragon lord.” There was a pause. “He was host to many failures, many false starts, and many regressions, but eventually, within ten years, he realized the secret to harnessing the earth, how to command it to his whim. And developed the emotional aptitude, and the discipline it took, to control it with his will.”
Fear was in awe that such a creature could exist, so stalwart and persistent.
Acrid was enamored with the story of a hero like that.
Gentler's eyes were a little wide, his jaw hanging open.
Faith had heard this story before, and always enjoyed it. Especially the times Terra's struggles were detailed for the audience.
Garyld continued. “When he finally returned, his kind had been sundered into chaos. His kind was suffering. Gems were hard to come by, and what water we had was running dry. Hmph. The unnamed one was an egotistical glutton, a vacuum that didn't stop destroying everything he laid his hands on. And that's why...”
A long, hefty pause punctuated the story. “Terra knew what he had to do. Knew that he could not kill the unnamed one in battle, knew he could not win in a fair fight. Terra was small, the unnamed one was gigantic. Terra may have had magic control, but he did not have the strength required to fell a dragon lord of his stature, especially those who remained loyal to him.”
Garyld peered at Fear with one eye. “Nor was he cold hearted enough to do what needed to be done and slaughter those who'd earned it with their actions.” The ancient dragon pursed his lips. “So he called upon the earth, called upon its mercy and its wrath, directed it at his enemies to encage them, ensnare them and leave them trapped within its confines, trapping their limbs in place and keeping them from moving. Everything was going well during his infiltration, and then...”
“Terra,” Garyld continued, “came to his target, his arch nemesis, the cause of all his kind's suffering, the murderer of his entire family, the family that, while he did not like, he appreciated for what they were. Terra knew he had to stop him, even if it meant his life. But the unnamed one was too fast, dashing up to Terra and grabbing him in a choke hold before slamming him into the ground. In that moment Terra's entire life flashed before his eyes, and he, for the first time, had doubts in his mission to save his kind. All his life he'd been told might made right, and in this moment, as he lay with a concussion on the ground, he couldn't help but wonder if that was true.”
Garyld took in a deep breath. “In that moment, everything Terra had experienced on his journey, the creatures he'd met of all different shapes and sizes, all sorts of abilities, strengths, and weaknesses entered his mind. Terra, in that moment, realized his kind had been wrong, being number one was not the most important thing to being a good creature. It was the desire to do the right thing, and the courage to act. Terra realized he had been right all along, and his righteous fury would take down the unnamed one before he could move on from the dragonlands and eviscerate every friend he'd made on his journey.”
A smile played at Garyld's lips. “Terra took that emotion, that epiphany, and used it to call upon the world around him. He asked it to help him protect every living creature from this terrible wrath, to let him guide it. The earth responded. It rumbled, resonating with the one who was truly the most powerful one of all, swinging to his command as the unnamed one gutted Terra. Terra hung on, and with one deft movement used his magical abilities to collapse the mountain into the ground. Not stopping there, knowing the unnamed one could escape with his visceral strength, he cried out even more fervently, until the world smelled of thunderstorm and the clouds churned above the mountain. As the earth quaked and every living thing quivered from the strength he called upon, as Terra died in the unnamed one's claws, the most powerful dragon to ever live, the mover of mountains, buried his enemy's lair beneath the earth. Deeper... and deeper. Never stopping. Covering up the hole he'd made as he plunged them both into the deepest trenches, far beyond anything anyone thought possible.”
Garyld frowned. “As Terra said a goodbye to all the friends he'd made, he crushed himself and his foe deep in the center of the planet, where nothing but molten rock remains. Where gravity, and the pressure of every living thing, still to this day keeps the unnamed one from breaking free.”
“That. My audience, is the story of Terra. Mover of Mountains. A trapped soul. The one our ancestors called on during séance to share his wisdom and story.”
Fear's eyes were a little glazed over by story's end, and before he knew it he was clopping, applauding with his hooves and cheering, whistling out loud, pumping a hoof into the air and getting up on all fours solely to stomp on the ground.”
Gentler clapped along, however slowly, impressed with the story, even if he was sure it wasn't fully accurate.
Faith just smiled, Acrid was wowed into a stupor.
Garyld continued. “And it is good to see a pony like you Fear, able to call upon the same courage and compassion our savior once did.” And with that the ancient dragon leaned back, allowing everyone to stew in that. The dragons were rendered silent by it all, even Trist had nothing to say, just a lump in his throat.
Acrid let out a low whistle. “Well, I don't know about any of you, but I highly doubt any story any of us tells after that is going to be nearly as good. So why even try?”
Fear grinned toward him, one ear flicking, lidding his eyes. “I mean it's not about being the best, it's about having fun, right Garyld?”
Garyld nodded once, solemnly, eyes closed, and grunted in affirmation.
Acrid sighed. “Fine. Well, I guess I'll go next in that case.” After a moment Acrid cleared his throat and began, trying to mimic Fear's story-telling prowess by deepening his voice and altering his tone to be a little more... unnerving. “Before my family and I moved to Las Pegasus in the Neighvada desert, there was a story in Seaddle about how, late at night if you were wandering the streets, with or without company, you may run into a strange seafoam colored stallion with a love for mythical bipedal creatures. A love so great, he was always running on and on about it, a love so grand it made him dance wherever he went, swinging his body to and fro as he stood on his hindlegs.”
The stallion gave a small, prodding smile. “In the darkest of dark nights, you'd find him casually waltzing down the sidewalk, occasionally spinning, with this giant smile on his face. The kind you see on the Ministry of Morale posters in the cities. He draws closer, his golden eyes brimming with uncontained enthusiasm. Ohh, he says he just wants to talk with you, sings about it even, about how mythical creatures once roamed Equus, but in reality he just wants to mimic the serial murderers that lingered among them. He dances up to you, always smiling the same unnerving smile, getting closer and closer, until he lifts a hoof up, revealing a knife, and plows it into your eyes, gouging them out and slicing it into your skull, cutting into your brain. You can try to run, but he always dances faster than you can get away, his hooves moving like fancy magic until you're tired out and he's still going.”
“They say,” Acrid cooed, “that it's his enthusiasm that gives him the physical ability to chase after you without ever seeing the knife until it's too late.”
Fear wasn't quite impressed, but he knew he'd be avoiding Seaddle from that moment onward.
Gentler just lifted an eyebrow. Faith was pondering a little. Acrid needed to work on his story-telling a bit.
A couple dragons clapped as a courtesy. Acrid proffered a fancy bow, but it was mostly out of spite and sarcasm, trying to push the frayed nerves out of his chest with the gesture.
Gentler took a moment to get his thoughts in order, slittled cat-eye pupils contracting as everything fell into place. He'd been sitting in the lotus position, legs crossed over each other. He glanced down, then up, smirked, and dove in. “This is a story about an invasion from outer space, or at least that's the ongoing theory, even by our officials in Abyssinia. You can still find the newspaper articles detailing the sudden disappearance of the whole neighborhood on microfilm within the libraries scattered throughout the country.” Gentler breathed in, then out, and continued.
“This story is based on the accounts of someone who lived in that neighborhood up until the point of his disappearance. He was an everyday cat, working in Panthera's offices as an accountant – we have a pretty thorough and complicated tax system in order to cater to individuals – and he'd noticed strange things slowly creeping on in his neighborhood. Whenever he went out to grab his newspaper from the front porch, he realized the felines around him were starting to wake up earlier than normal. It wasn't incredibly disorienting, but he knew most of his neighbors, especially the younger ones. It was strange to see them up, out, and about. He occasionally went to say hi to them, and while he couldn't place exactly what was wrong, there was a certain... monotony to them. His feline instincts always told him something was wrong, that he shouldn't be around them. But they looked just like his regular old neighbors.”
Gentler grinned. “So, being the curious cat he was, he started stalking some of the weirder ones, looking through their windows, spying on them from across the street. It started affecting his work, because he was growing anxious and paranoid, yet he realized sometimes his neighbors would leave at all manner of time in the night, and as he watched them longer, he realized that while they turned off their lights they... they never slept. A TV was always on.” There was a lingering trepidation in his voice, a casual uncertainty, like he didn't believe the story himself, or maybe he was just discouraged. “The cat, by the name of Jinx, started logging the going ons of his neighbors as what was once just a few houses started spreading even farther. He was convinced something was wrong, and that concern spread into his every day life. He stopped taking care of himself, became more battered and beat up, far more gamey and gnarled. Whiskers crooked. One day he witnessed, while staring into a home, one of the cats taking off his skin! It was gruesome, brutal. Jinx couldn't stay any longer, just panicking and running away.” Gentler drifted off, then resumed.
“Jinx was concerned. Who could he go to? Who would believe him? This was craziness. There was nothing like the Ministry of Morale at the time, but how did he know this didn't extend to other neighborhoods, to other parts of Panthera? All he knew was he had to write down what he saw, and then deliver it to someone he could trust.”
Gentler frowned. “This is where the account ends. All we have are the ramblings of Jinx, and the log books he delivered. They almost didn't make it into the public eye, as it happened decades ago. It was researched... at first. The case was dropped when Jinx, calm as a cucumber, returned to our internal investigation service and told them that everything was fine and to ignore what he'd given them.” The cat shrugged. “It wasn't more than a year afterward that the entire neighborhood just up and disappeared, along with a select few cats they worked alongside. Renewing the suspicion. But it's never been solved, the disappearances remaining a mystery to his day.”
The Abyssinian's audience seemed unnerved. The calm stoicness of Gentler's expressions and demeanor just heightened the tension in the air. Nothing like an unsolved mystery that apparently happened to get the adrenaline pumping. The air was rendered silent for awhile, with Fear reconsidering his visit to Abyssinia, even if he could tell Gentler was exaggerating a bit, Faith somewhat annoyed by the cat's unnatural serenity. The story probably wasn't real.
Acrid was fidgeting in his seat, sure he was going to have nightmares tonight.
That was when a new attendant showed up, much to... most creatures' obliviousness.
Fear realized that someone was standing behind him, and didn't need to look to figure out who it was. He'd been sensing this presence, however faintly, throughout the entire day. It was Drax, but in person. His presence; his soul, was immense. It was like a blazing bonfire that spoke of confidence, determination, instability, and drive. There were so many other things mixed in, so many other cries for justice and prosperity that he couldn't settle on just one. It was mind numbing, legs slackening under him from the sheer overwhelming sensation of pride and crumbling compassion. Fear didn't dare look behind him to confirm his existence, just freezing up, shoulders raising, brow sweating a bit. He felt Drax Novus' heated glare on his back, boring a hole into him. Feeling out his soul right in person.
It was then that Fear realized he'd been being watched, but only now was Drax fully understanding him as they mingled with each other, their souls dancing.
Fear's breathing quickened as Faith cleared her throat and began her own story. No one had noticed the dragon's presence yet. How far away was he? Fear couldn't tell. He knew the alicorsair was right next to him though, a subtle echo that belonged to Drax. He didn't dare look behind him.
“You know,” Faith began, “Friendship City wasn't the perfect place growing up. I had a lot of experiences there that defied explanation, like early in the morning, around the witching hour, when music box tunes would waft across the wasteland, music that only foals could hear. Somewhere deep in Manehattan was a source, but I never found it. Wasn't old enough nor good enough to be going out during that time.” She shook her head. “But that's not the point of this story. This story is about a traveling trader who didn't know Friendship City's customs and history very well, who was staying at one of the hotels. One night he was staying there he heard muffled yelling coming from the room next to his. Fearing the worst, he headed down to check in to tell the receptionist about it – that it didn't sound like the usual sex ponies got up to in there. The receptionist informed him to not worry about it and to just try and get some sleep. So he did.” Faith paused.
“On his way back to his room he couldn't resist seeing what was going on, bending down to look through the keyhole and seeing a white unicorn mare laying lopsidedly on the bed inside. He took a moment to question himself, realizing she must've just been masturbating and he'd been worried over nothing.”
Faith let that sink in. “The next night he heard the muffled yelling coming from the room next door all over again and, feeling a little perverted, decided to go out and take a gander at the show going on next to him. After all, maybe he could help her with her little problem? The stallion peeked into the keyhole again and was surprised when all he saw was red. He murmured to himself a bit, getting the creeps, chills running up his spine though he didn't know why, and decided to forget about it.”
“The next day he checked out, late at night. The receptionist thanked him for staying and told him that she didn't want to alarm him but a white unicorn with red eyes had been staying in the room next to him at one point, and been murdered by a surly scavver, smothered to death. She told him that sometimes ponies heard muffled yelling coming from inside. The stallion got goosebumps, realizing how close he might've just come to getting killed or worse, quickly thanked the receptionist with a stuttering breath, and left. Moral of the story: being perverted can get you in heinous situations.”
Fear had only half paid attention to the story, a little too focused on the dragon somewhere behind him as Acrid nearly wet himself a second time that day, and the normally cool and collected Gentler experiencing a full body shudder. Fear glanced over to Faith when he felt the presence drawing near and saw Drax tapping Faith's shoulder, before pulling her away from the crowd while the rest of the dragons focused on the next story teller, a young child who was apparently pretty proliferate with stories. Fear wondered what the dragon could want with Faith in private after so long, his curiosity getting the best of him despite Gentler's story, morphing his ears a bit to pick up on far away sounds, and eavesdropped on Faith and Drax.
Faith's voice was tentative, as if she'd been worried all day. “Drax! It's so good to see you again, in the flesh.” There was a pause. Fear didn't know what was going on, keeping his head forward, just feeling an influx and outpouring of affection. “I assume you've been watching us all day? You should've seen Fear! How are you anyway? Drax?”
Drax's voice rumbled. “Faith I am so sorry. I have been watching, keeping a close eye on all of you... looking for...” Drax halted. “It's good to see you again, always a pleasure. Long story short I haven't been good. I've been trying to manage my nest, and keep on the look out for the Enclave soldiers that have been scouring the land around us lately. I think they're preparing for something but I'm not sure.”
Faith sounded concerned. “You sound so... so dire, Drax! I'm sure whatever it is, things are going to be okay.”
Drax grunted. “I don't think so Faith. You came at the wrong time. Everything's been building to a head. While I'm glad you're alive, and you were able to come back, I fear this is where we must part ways again, this time... for good.” There was a faint, imperceptible stutter. Fear felt it in Drax's soul. “We are going to attack the wasteland, carve out a home for ourselves. Not only have the Enclave been stepping up their patrols of this place, looking for dragons, but it's becoming far harder to find gems. We aren't big enough to warrant the raptor they keep above the clouds, but we can't win against an army of their battle suits.”
Faith mumbled. “I mean that's fine. If you have to move then that's for the best but... why are you so grim? It seems like there's more going on in your head than you're telling me.”
Drax murmured. “There's been a lot going through my head. I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've grown tired of constantly running from the Enclave, of hiding from pony society. All we've done is be victims up til now, sundered into ruin by the dragons who decided to take matters into their own claws long ago and feed into the propaganda. We've been like bugs that the Enclave wishes to just... squash out. Because they fear us coming into the clouds, they fear us using their resources, and they fear us rising up and becoming bigger and better than them.” A pause. “Not only that but... Faith, there was a detachment of Steel Rangers here recently trying to raid the old facilities around here.” There was a heistance, as though Drax was beating around the bush. Faith waited patiently. “I think it's time for us to make a move. We've been walked all over far too much. The next time we see the Steel Rangers, or the Enclave, I'm going to go on the attack. The wasteland proper may not be our home but it may be all we have left to gain, the old rock farms scattered throughout.”
Faith was... uncertain. “Drax, I know you're trapped between two difficult decisions, and while I wasn't aware it was getting to that point, and I'm glad I came when I did, you can't make war with the Steel Rangers nor the Enclave. It'll mean all out war. And you'll get killed. All of you will, eventually. Many will die.”
Drax huffed. “Yes, but we are going to die either way. The Steel Rangers nor the Enclave trust us. They will track us. There is no stopping their onslaught. They're coming. Slowly but surely. Looking for resources. And when they find us they will see us as enemies. If we do not put a stop to them first, they will put a stop to us the moment they find us, especially if they find us within Equestria's borders.” There was a low growl. “They cannot be trusted. There is nowhere for us to hide. It's come to violence. There's nothing you nor anyone else can do. I'm sorry. A fight's going to break out whether you want it to or not.”
Faith's voice was a little teary. “Drax, I know I haven't been around in a long while but I care about you, I care about all of you. Violence isn't you, it's a last resort for you. It always has been. You've...” Fear heard Faith sniffle. “You've always been ask questions first, trust second, battle later. According to the others you've earned the title of Novus that way. They see you as a new Dragon Lord, Drax. Don't lead them into a war, please. Don't do this.”
Drax sighed. “I didn't think you'd understand, which is why I was hesitant to tell you, hesitant to really open up. I need you to believe in us Faith, believe in me that this is for the best. It's not only about justice, though it's that too. It's about prolonging our species.”
Fear heard the soft pat of Faith's hoof falling to the ground. He felt her holding back tears, could almost imagine the look on her face. He'd be seeing it soon. As soon as he felt Drax's presence leave, Fear twisted around, getting up on all fours, and heading to meet with Faith. He didn't notice Acrid getting up to follow him.
“Faith... is everything okay?”
“F-F-Fear,” Faith blubbered out, feeling tears fill her eyes and flow outward, her muzzle scrunched up in mourning. “Drax is... Drax is making a rash decision. I don't... don't know what to do.” She fell back onto her haunches, pressing her forehooves into her eyes, weeping. “I don't know what to do Fear! I know you heard! I know you felt it! I know you felt all of Drax's emotions! I saw it all on his face! But... but...! This isn't who Drax is!? Why did he turn out this way!? What happened to him!? What made him fall so far!? What's pushing him to fight? He can hide in Equestria, the dragons don't need to combat the Enclave nor the Steel Rangers.”
“Faith...” Fear repeated, at a loss, his eyebrows leaning outward, eyes sad, face in a gentle frown.
“Even if he doesn't succeed,” Faith wailed, “many will die on both sides! He can read intent, he's a force of nature, but I can't lose him, and I can't let him wreak this kind of devastation on someone even if they deserve it! There has to be a way for things to end peacefully!” Faith sobbed. “If anything happened to Drax, I don't know what I'd do! I can't lose him! His happiness is important to me. Fighting's not going to solve anything!”
Fear summoned what courage he could, steeling his features and bracing himself. “Faith. Don't worry, I'll take care of it. I'm sure I can talk him down. I've prepared for this kind of thing. He won't hurt us.”
Faith lunged at Fear, wrapping his small body up in a giant hug. “Fear! Please! Stop Drax! Don't let him go through with this! I don't know what to tell him! He won't listen to me! I've never seen him this dead set! So stubborn!” Fear could tell his motherly friend was beside herself. Could hear it in her wailing.
Fear cooed to her, gently patting her back, just between the shoulder blades with a hoof. “Faith... relax, it'll be okay. I'll take care of it. I'm just as stubborn, I can put a stop to this, I promise with all my heart.”
Faith wasn't sure. “Please, be careful. I can't risk losing you either. When you lava surfed with Trist I tried to trust you, but I didn't know if you could do it. I saw you plunge into the lava, and I thought you were going to die. I can't have you put me through that again.”
Fear solidified his expression, a simple glower. “Don't worry, it'll be okay. Drax can't stand up to my charms.” He pushed her away and gave her a disarming smile. “Now go spend time with the other dragons and relax, I've got to think about how to approach this tomorrow.”
Faith sniffled and nodded, before languidly stepping away back to the pool of magma.
Fear then felt Acrid come up from behind him. “Faith's dracobae is a piece of work huh?” Acrid's voice attempted to lighten the mood, and Fear could feel the intent.
But he wasn't amused. He had a long road ahead of him.
At least he'd gotten to know some dragons. That was an everpresent thought on his mind as he stared at the Single Pegasus Project tower in the distance. The same kind of tower that allowed the DJ to see across the wasteland.
Acrid was insistent on coming with Fear to see Drax. No matter what logic Fear used, no matter what he told him, Acrid just said he was overthinking it and being too paranoid, and even had the gall to insinuate he'd gotten it from his mother after something Fear had revealed to him in the past. Suffice to say, Fear was a little pissed by that, but on further consideration, decided that it'd probably be fine, and he was just going to be talking with Drax. Acrid pat him on the back, blurting out 'that's the spirit!' further explaining to him that he just wanted to see everything Fear was capable of, ever since seeing him survive plunging into the lava earlier.
The older stallion was impressed with Fear, and slowly was gaining confidence in the younger stallion that stirred a fire inside of him. A fire made up of admiration and jealousy at the same time.
Fear saw the Single Pegasus Project tower in the distance as the two of them closed the distance on Drax's presence, his head occasionally swaying from side to side, feeling the Alicorsair fluttering around him. He was being watched still. Had been since late last night. Drax was keeping an eye on him all the time. The pair's saddlebags were left with the dragons, and Fear had his gun and sword with him, laying on his back, perfectly balanced on his shoulder blades no matter how much he moved.
Acrid asked him how he was doing it awhile ago.
Fear told him it was a trick his uncle Chirp had taught him, a subtle application of magic that earth ponies were most commonly familiar with. A type of magnetic balance that kept things in place as long as it was connected to the body, the same principle behind sticky hooves. It took focus, but overall much less effort than constantly expending emotional energy to use telekinesis, no matter how faint.
Acrid told him he'd never figured out how to do it to that degree, the point that things which would normally be off balance, could still stay on.
Fear just shrugged. He'd put a lot of effort into learning everything his family had to teach him over the three plus years.
As they drew closer they saw Drax ahead of them, and soon after saw what he was doing out here. He was speaking to a dragon whelp privately, the same dragon whelp that had asked Fear last night if his story had been true. A sense of concern etched in him, the colt having started to care about the whelp immediately from that question, showing the depth of his love. He was uncertain, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden, a bubbling sensation forming in his gut, at the idea of confronting Drax in front of him.
Fear caught the tail end of the conversation, a gentle tutorial on how to breathe flames for maximum effect. Drax then stood up, having been crouching down with hands on his knees to be on level with the whelp, and glared at Fear.
Drax knew why the equine was here. He summoned himself up to his full height, crossing his arms over his chest. The whelp next to him felt the change in atmosphere, felt his leader go from calm teacher to visceral beast in a matter of seconds.
Acrid whistled, feeling the change in pressure immediately. “Is he exuding emotion?” Acrid leaned past Fear, looking at the dragon.
Fear nodded. “Yep. I can feel it growing stronger. He's impressing his will upon the world.” Fear's voice was quiet, his eyes narrowed as they trot up to the dragon.
Drax had that incorrigible grin that Faith had spoken of plastered across his face, in keen detail. His eyes were sharp. He wasn't quite glaring, just a sort of haughty confidence, but not one that was inherently full of underestimation. He could see Fear's soul, had been analyzing him since minute one.
“Drax Novus,” Fear stated out loud, from the gut, holding himself high, head tilted down slightly in a show of deference.
Drax's lips twitched downward for a moment at the gravitas in Fear's tone, and his show of passivity.
“I've come here to speak with you...”
Drax interrupted. “To help me? To show fealty? Or to stop me? Choose your words carefully, whelp.”
Fear got the sensation Drax was at least seventy years older than him, could feel the weight and experience in his words. The young stallion stiffened, lips tightening, tugging downward slightly. He kept his wits about him, even while his heart hammered knowing that Drax had been listening to him speak with and comfort Faith. “To talk. Nothing more. I don't want a fight. I respect your position, and I respect your wishes.”
“And?” Drax huffed. “You think you can somehow talk me down from my decision?”
The whelp looked between the pony and leader, taking a few steps back in concern, able to feel the heightened tension.
Fear kept calm. “I don't know.” The uncertainty Nyx had shown him to guide creatures into changing their minds. Always give a little wiggle room. Be firm when needed, but always give up ground when someone's right. “I just want to talk. Get to know you. Feel where you're coming from.”
Drax growled out, getting low to the ground. “I know those tactics. It's the tactics of an ambassador. I heard you talking to Faith. I know what your purpose is. You're lying to me. I don't need to sense your deceit to know.” Drax rested his paws on the ground, his claws gouging marks into the earth with the same natural ease that dry ice gave off smoke.
Fear refrained from swallowing, his eyes twitching down to look at those claws. Fear could tell Drax was getting ready to lunge, could feel the intent building. He tried to choose his words carefully as his eyes darted from side to side. “Yes. That's true. But...” Fear's voice was curt and short, but from frayed nerves and concern, not from frustration. He chided himself internally for not being more genuine. That had been Nyx's first lesson in befriending creatures: sincerity. “The only way for anything to change is for us to converse, get to know each other?” Fear's confidence failed him, questioning both Drax and himself.
Drax grumbled, sensing the first moment of sincerity from Fear in that question, but it wasn't the right kind of sincerity. It was the sincerity born of lacking confidence, not born of keeping an open mind. Drax's claws raked through the earth, the claws on his feet digging in, as if to get ready to launch himself. “I suggest you get out of my sight before I cleave through you, Fearei Shatter.” There was a tone of respect in Drax's voice, and a hefty amount of intimidation.
Fear felt it.
And shuddered.
“Look.”
Drax stomped a foot. “No. You look, you insignificant little whelp. Your tricks won't work on me. Your bravado, your calm, your attempts at befriending me are hollow. There's nothing you can do to help me and if you don't leave right now this will turn into a fight.” Drax paused.
“And you will lose.” Drax finished after a moment, as if seeing the future. “The difference in experience is vast. Comparing our endurance levels, our physical condition is like comparing steam to ice.” A strange simile.
Fear perked up, standing his ground, ears standing erect. “Look. I came here to talk sense into you. For Faith's sake. She cares about you a lot.”
Drax smirked slightly. “At least you're being honest now. Unfortunately I gave you a chance. If you truly cared about Faith's feelings for you, you would have stood down. But it's too late.”
Fear's mind buzzed. There was an instant that Drax was there, then the next second he was gone. Fear's horn lit up, a pulse of telekinesis slamming against his chest and sending him skidding backwards.
Just as Drax's claw came down where Fear had just been, stabbing into the earth.
Time stood still.
Drax's head lifted up, going from looking at the ground where he'd struck, to looking at Fear.
Fear's eyes were quivering, a chill like that of ice water dribbled down his spine. He was still hanging in the air from his pulse backwards. Fear saw the next attack coming.
Drax was gone in an instant.
Fear shoved himself down with telekinesis, flattening against the floor. It was dangerous to stay in the air no matter how proficient he was at maneuvering with telekinesis. Basic lessons from a unicorn who'd fought pegasi in training.
Drax's claws sweeped over Fear's head.
Fear was glad for a single moment that his horn was so stubby, otherwise it would have been clipped. The young stallion's breath hitched in his throat, feeling the next burst of intent. Fear rolled to the side.
Drax's left hand came crashing down into the ground, dragging backwards. Drax then lashed out in a roundhouse, intending to stab Fear's torso with his claws as it swept across the floor.
Fear jumped into the air. He needed to start fighting back! But Drax was moving so swiftly, in the middle of spinning around in a full 360, all he could do was dodge and defend. Fear's horn lit up and his gun and sword, having fallen to the ground, pulled up and into the air. Positive emotion thrummed into the blade and it came to Fear's defense at the next attack.
Drax couldn't feel the sword's movements as it slipped down under his arm, which was reaching out to grab Fear's throat while he hung in the air, and slid it up and out of the way.
Fear felt the double intent blast against his brain and he reacted on instinct, no longer able to think about his moves and make sure he didn't get trapped in a corner.
A blast of lightning shot out from the Alicorsair that had been staring at Fear all this time. It coursed through the air as it crackled, hurtling toward Fear who submerged himself in the shadows with his weapons.
There was a scream as the light from the thunder slammed into the shadow. It was Fear's scream. He didn't feel the electricity but he felt the light.
The mass of shadow slipped past the continually spinning dragon, hesitated as the tail swept over where he was going to come up, and hopped out of the ground. There was a scorch mark blackening his fur on the spine, the furs singed. Fear didn't feel the intent from the leader’s next attack, showing off the difference in skill, showing that he could not only fight but he could follow through with attacks without intending them.
Fear's sword came up on its own, held vertically with the tip pointed down, catching Drax's palm as it reached out to latch onto Fear's muzzle like a facehugger.
The sword bashed into Fear's muzzle, sending him flying backwards, the blade careening off to the side. Blood flowed liberally from the cracked snout as he skidded along the dirt and rock, flipping into the air, nearly breaking his legs and snapping his neck from the force.
Drax was back on him again. Fear started trying to siphon love while submerging his gun into the shadows against his body. He knew he couldn't use Nightmare Pressure. Drax would just be furious by it – his instincts told him so.
As Drax reached out to carve a claw mark deep into Fear's skull, in order to rake off his muzzle, he felt a bubbling in his soul, able to feel his emotions flood and burble before funneling away from him, making him twitch.
Fear's sword came to his defense and shoved the claw off to the side as he finally hit the ground for good, stumbling backwards, hooves nearly crossing over each other. The young stallion felt the next move coming from the Alicorsair. A high pressurized jet of water slamming into where he just was, arcing through the floor and tearing up rock. Fear was in the shadows.
Drax reared back, flames surging up his throat, then jerked forward, letting out a gout of purple glowing flames that washed over where Fear was.
Fear felt the heat and groaned in pain. Raced past and hopped up from behind Drax.
Drax felt it coming and flicked his tail up, catching Fear in the belly and sending him plummeting into the sky by more than thrice his height.
Fear oofed, spittle flew from his mouth.
Drax jumped into the air, doing a backflip, pushing himself up with his wings, and tried to bring his finned tail down onto Fear's spine and send him plummeting into the ground.
Fear felt it coming and turned himself into shadows, latching onto Drax's tail.
Drax hovered for a moment.
A photokinetic ray of light burst from the Alicorsair in a beam, slashing over Drax's tail and not even burning it, but nearly cutting Fear's shadow form in half.
The only thing that saved him was instinct. Fear pulled the gun out from him for a meager moment and shot with a primal feeling on where he felt Drax's extra, albeit faint presence.
The bullet missed because Drax pulled the Alicorsair out of the way just in time.
Seven rounds left.
At least Fear's shadow was safe.
Acrid was panicking as he watched the fight, which felt like it took mere seconds to pass.
Fear's heart was thundering in his chest as he pulled off of his opponent, realizing what he needed to do to hit the Alicorsair and send it out of commission. His eyes contracted as he took a page from Solanum's book, pumping illusion into the air around him, using everything he could to hide his intent in a mask of so many other intentions that blinded the leader. Even while he still kept trying to pull love from his being. Drax's love for his people and his hatred for the world so immense, so powerful, there was so much. The young stallion realized the dragon was just as sensitive as him to it all, if not more-so, far beyond what Faith had told them. But even so, Fear knew anyone would become emotionally exhausted after long enough.
Drax felt Fear falling through the air just as the intent to blind him came up, and soon enough he coudn't tell what Fear was going to do, where he was going to move. But still he pulled up a huge gust of air into his lungs, leaning back as he hung in the air, and released an inferno of violet down on Fear from above, flames raining down, licking at the air.
Fear felt it coming and brought his weapons against his body in the shadows, using a pulse of telekinesis to send him violently careening away from the gout of flames just as it passed over where he just was.
The young stallion's body plummeted toward the ground at a rate that was going to break his legs if he landed on them.
Instead of letting himself land on them, Fear dove into the shadows as soon as he got close enough, popping up a second later like a spring.
He saw Drax soaring down to him. He'd be here in less than two seconds.
Fear braced himself.
Drax, feeling all the intentions coming from Fear, even the one to sap his love, crashed into the ground just as Fear turned into shadows and fused to Drax's chest, before sliding around. He could tell the difference between intentions. He knew Fear was going to pop up behind him. Felt it coming.
It was a feint. One of the possibilities Drax had sensed. Fear popped up from the same place he latched onto him from and rolled to the side, bringing his gun to bare.
Just as the Alicorsair lined up to hit him with a burst of fireballs, Drax still flowing into a moveset behind him, so blinded he was reacting only on what he thought he saw, Fear lined up the rifle.
And fired.
A host of intentions, from hurting Drax to shooting where the Alicorsair was going to be, popped into Drax's mind. He realized he couldn't save his precious drone.
The bullet sailed through the air.
Six bullets left.
The bismuth-covered drone nearly shattered on impact, bullet crashing home into the turret and turned it into mere splinters of trashed technology. The Alicorsair fluttered from side to side, struggling to stay in the air from the sudden balance issues.
One fireball managed to get unleashed before the bullet hit.
It shot straight for Fear.
Fear pulsed himself to the side just as Drax's combo followed up to spear into where Fear just was.
Drax whiffed at nothing but air.
The two of them got distance from each other.
Fear was panting by that point. His legs felt weak. The only thing keeping him in the fight was feeding on what felt like a near limitless source of love within Drax. His eyes were a little glassy. He shook his head a few times to get the fugue out of his system.
Drax slowly drew closer to Fear, walking at a leisurely pace. “You're a really frustrating runt. No one's ever been able to take down the Alicorsair before, however temporarily.” The implication was clear to Fear – it could repair itself given enough time. “Still, I suppose since you've lasted this long by sheer luck you deserve to know where I'm coming from.” Drax pounded a fist into his chest as Fear looked on in abject terror, still putting out illusions, still sapping Drax's love. “Dragons were once a proud species who dominated the lands. It was their learned compassion that kept them from taking out the ponies of Equestria after they settled.”
Fear stayed silent, unable to bring up the energy to glare. Just taking a moment to catch his breath.
“It was their mercy that allowed them to grow and prosper, that kept them from being annihilated and conquered during their division caused solely by race.” Drax cut a hand through the air, as if equine struggle was meaningless compared to what the dragons had been through. “Dragons had learned long ago how to defeat the wendigos with the power of harmony. Equines are third rate creatures, always behind, always taking advantage of others. Never being wise enough to know when enough's enough. Their only saving grace being their innovation. Their nobles took advantage of those lower than them.” Drax was glowering at Fear.
Fear stayed silent, backing up from Drax a few times, uncomfortable and exhausted from all the close calls. His brain tingled from sensory input.
“They have a history of discord. A history of looking down on those they determine unworthy, and thus earned that judgment themselves. They scavenge for what they haven't earned with hard work, making use of the labors of others, the nobles especially. Trying to survive like parasites, feeding on each other even when the wendigos threaten to return.”
Drax smirked. “Your species needed a makers damned holiday just to learn to treat each other well.” His voice was gruff. “The dragons were victims, not meant to be part of any war, not meant to be influenced into taking part. They were supposed to be neutral! An ambassador tried to warn Princess Luna of her position as leader, knowing both the vision of the zebra and the position of the ponies. Tried to alert everyone of the upcoming trials.”
There was a pause before Drax continued. “I have spent my life serving my kind, trying to find what I can for them, taking from the land and trying to return what I can. I've struggled, I've hurt, the world doesn't stop hurting either, Equestria is in pain, my people are in agony, and there's nothing I can do, Fearei Shatter.” Drax spat out Fear's name. “They call me powerful, they give me the name Novus, they claim I am their new dragon lord and look up to me, even the elders, yet I am powerless to do anything as the Enclave and Steel Rangers both converge. Both seeking different things, intending to exterminate us in the end. You can not imagine, nor empathize, with the level of pressure I am under. I can do nothing but fight, end their lives before they end ours. Tear them asunder.”
Drax got low to the ground, readying to attack Fear again, who was intently listening, too distracted to come up with a response. “You can't stop me. There is no place that will accept us, allow us to merely exist.” Drax reached up with a claw for the cloud cover, clenching it into a fist. “Our eggs need the heat of being near lava in order to stay healthy and hatch, and if we are pushed from our lands then we have nothing left! I have to make the decision to move from here, to defend ourselves. I have no choice but to become like your species and scavenge from lands not our own and take technology and resources. To find something that can keep us alive, especially when the time of breeding comes around. That's even assuming I can find anything!”
The dragon's arms crossed over his chest, holding himself. “Alongside that I need to provide gems for my kind to eat.” He paused. “Or meat.” The implication was clear. The pressure Drax was under made Fear tremble in his hooves.
Acrid listened intently, watching Fear, the amount of danger making his brain tingle and memories slowly spurt inside his mind.
“I am a leader, their leader, and they are believing in me to lead them to victory. And you. Can't. Stop. Me. Fear.” Drax let out a roar, getting low to the ground again and splaying his arms out in a bestial fighting stance. “You couldn't even win the lavaboarding race! I can feel it in you right now! The desire to heal my pain! The desire to give me another way out of this mess! You can't kill me, and you can't beat me either. Nothing you do can change my mind! I will take my kind's existence into my own hands and either render us extinct or lead us to a new age of glory where dragons rule. I alone hold the power, and I alone will choose our fate. I am capable of winning this war. I am capable of beating you. Now stand down, or I will kill you. I've lost faith in a peaceful outcome, and I can't possibly have faith in a whelp like you!”
Fear quaked in place, able to feel Drax on the verge of attacking again, waiting for his response. Fear puffed his chest out and grimaced. “I have a responsibility to stick around and help. It's what a hero would do.”
Drax smirked. “Some hero, meddling where he doesn't belong, going straight to his death. Fine. If that's how you want it, that's how you're going to get it!” Drax roared out. “A hero can't compare to a legendary leader!”
The darkness encroached. The hopelessness tore apart. Drax responded with violence. Fear responded with pacifism. Everything spun, revolved, spiraled around the two of them as they got ready to fight again, two focal points. One Fear, one Drax. The air seemed to swirl on the pair of vortices, the spirits of dragons that came before bearing witness to the contest of strength, Everyone present in that moment, from the whelp, to Acrid, to the one watching from the SPP tower and everything in between and beyond were looking for something to believe in. What mattered more, hope or action, endurance or lashing out, building or destroying, hiding or fighting, forgiveness or justice?
Fear noted Drax was a little slower as the dragon launched off his feet, tearing through the air to gouge into him. He danced to the side, then back, then around, occasionally spinning, moving with both aching physical prowess and mental bursts of telekinesis from his tired thaumic gland. Drax's claws swept and carved through the air, slicing, tearing, and engraving through dirt and air, cleaving into rock and putting Fear on the tips of his hooves, occasionally pushing himself up into the air, infrequently diving into the shadows and nearly being burned away with blazing white flames coming straight from Drax's stomach, combined with magical prowess. It was a waltz that, as Fear's snout finally stopped trickling blood, tainting his lips with the taste of iron, would end with a single swipe. A single motion would eviscerate Fear's stomach or slash through his skull and carve a chunk out of his brain.
Two empathies, one confused by an illusion of intentions, battled together. Warring for dominance. Fear didn't let up sucking out that love as much as he could, powering himself slowly but surely, keeping himself strong.
Acrid followed close behind, wanting to scream at them to stop this nonsense, Drax was going to kill his friend!
“Stop dodging! Stop avoiding me! Let me tear you apart and prove myself! Faith's wishes don't matter, no one's wishes matter if you don't have the power to bring them into reality!”
Fear scoffed. “That's not the moral of Terra's story!”
“Like you'd know!” Drax roared.
Fear felt one claw coming down from above and another coming from the side. He used his sword to push the upper one away, and leaned up and back out of the way.
“Stop moving, scum!”
Fear realized that dragons were incredibly powerful so... Fear brought his Gallop around, shoving it into Drax's screaming mouth. Intending to fire.
Acrid saw it. Saw the muscles in Drax's jaw clench up, the sensation of training in the past burst into his mind.
Drax bit down.
Fear was one second away from firing, having waited too long from hesitation.
Acrid saw it coming. It was going to explode! Acrid screamed out Fear's name, stomping a hoof on the ground as things he'd never felt before, not for a very long time, rose up inside of him like a revolution. His emerald eyes blazed. Earth shot up from his hoof, trailing toward the two warring forces of nature.
Fear's eyes widened as he realized that pulling the trigger was going to make the gun explode, but it was too late, his telekinesis pulling down.
Earth came up in front of him as the round tried to exit the barrel, exploding against Drax's teeth.
The blowback was severe.
Fear saw light, felt heat.
Rock was coming up in front of his face.
Fear turned his head to the side as heat scorched the left side of his face, right over the eye, burning away fur and searing his eyelid. Second degree burns, permanent fixture on his face, completely red, the skin dead, the roots of fur incinerated, some of his hair catching alight.
The rock finished coming up as the shrapnel blew back in a large radius, metal going everywhere.
Fear's Gallop was a wreck, the bottom and top split apart, the sten-like bit shredded, and the barrel hanging by a thread of metal as Drax opened his mouth. Components were damaged permanently, The rest of the young stallion's body saved from pieces of metal and remaining bullets by the rock. The clip was completely shredded, no longer there.
Drax was shaken by Acrid's show of loyalty, so busy with Fear's illusions and the real self that he didn't sense Acrid coming. Even if traditionally no one should have interfered, the fact that he'd had the courage to intervene to save a friend in the face of paralyzing, overwhelming fright was admiration worthy. Drax was unharmed by the explosion, by the heat, by the shrapnel, by everything.
The collection of rock crumbled apart, pieces of stone holding pieces of metal and wood cutting into it.
Drax stopped hesitating and went to strangle Fear as his head twisted away, the gun falling to the ground, his left eye completely scarred, the lid having barely saved the eye itself. Fear was too busy reeling from the shock of his mother's rifle getting destroyed, that he didn't feel the claws coming to wrap around his neck. Drax flexed his muscles, intending to crush the entire throat in one deft movement.
Fear slipped into the shadows on instinct.
It took a moment for Drax to realize Fear was no longer there.
Fear slipped into Drax's maw, intending to collapse a lung with the strength of his manipulation, the only thing he could think of to do – hurt the insides and incapacitate him! Still trying to drain his love, able to feel Drax growing more sluggish. But so was he.
“Stop... stop moving!” Drax growled out as he realized what Fear was trying to do, knowing the shadows were in his throat. He responded by building up flames in his stomach, his body vibrating inside as the fire surged forth.
Fear receded, wrapping around Drax's body and popping off the back, trying to get some distance, his sword following after him, gun laying destroyed on the ground behind him. He could feel Drax getting panicked, tired. As Drax twisted around to come after the young stallion Fear could feel that he was just randomly flailing around by this point like a rabid animal, completely losing the sense of skill he used to have. His eye hurt so much! He could hardly focus on eating Drax's love. He was beginning to pant, his body exhausted, the love strengthening him barely as he realized, while dodging and contorting around Drax's movements, occasionally using the sword and shadows to defend himself and avoid him, that this was not only a battle to prove to Drax his ideals and get him to listen, but also to give Drax someone to vent to and struggle against who could handle him. One of Fear's eyes hung at half mast, the burned one fully open.
But Drax couldn't keep up with Fear's illusions as he was finally panting incredibly hard, his throat sore and raw from releasing flames constantly. The more broken he became from overexertion, the more he started reacting to his instincts and following illusory Fears and failing to follow the real one.
The air around them smelled heavily of a thunderstorm. Acrid could tell Fear was slowly enduring to the end.
Eventually drax gave up, falling to hands and knees, before collapsing onto his chest with a loud thud, breathing hard, unable to keep up. His eyes closed. Green and blue flames overflowed from the dragon's mouth with every breath like an uncontrollable lighter.
Fear tried to catch his breath and spoke, his burned eye holding shut, the injury oozing blood that cascaded down his face. “Drax. I don't, haah, know what to tell you. I, haah, don't know... how to save your kind. Hooh, haah, haah. I don't know if they can be saved. I don't, hooh, know if there's any hope for the future, haah, the wasteland, or if equines even deserve, hooh, hope. And I don't know how to, haah, heal yours or anyone else's woes. Hooh, haah, hooh, haah, haah...” Fear slowly caught his breath, head tilted down in exhaustion, but not closing his remaining eye. “But I do know that by wreaking destruction, haah, willy nilly, hooh, assaulting others first, haah, talking last will bring nothing good. Whoof. Haah... Harmony can't reign in such a world. Ponies proved that with the zebras.”
The young stallion finally caught his breath, standing up tall as Drax just pounded at the ground with a fist in frustration, eyes clenched shut. Fear continued. “They didn't try hard enough to reach a compromise, superstition and assumptions led to self fulfilling prophecies, and we all paid for it with our lives and well-being.” The words tumbled out of Fear's mouth like vomit. “Dragons aren't the only ones suffering. Dragons tried their best, and got the short end of the stick, but we're all in this together in the end. All I can do is offer you a place to hide in Dryfield.”
Drax's head perked up slightly at the proposition, looking up tentatively at the stallion who seemed to be on his last legs, kept up by solely love.
“I can contact my family there through dreams. There are rock farms around there that might be able to sustain you until you can return to the dragon lands. I may not know much Drax, but I know that this isn't the end, and that acting hastily will bring about the end faster than if we bide. Our. Time. And. Wait. You have to take care of your people first and foremost, do not give up hope, do not abandon Faith.” Fear didn't dare collapse.
Drax looked up to him with tired, spent, dilated slit eyes. He looked like he was about to say something.
Fear could easily feel the conflict, the hesitant hope inside of the dragon. The roar for justice, the cry for salvation, and the impact Fear's words were leaving on him. It was a wound that would never heal, but instead of hurting, it felt good. It relieved the pain of his overexertion, forcing him to take a moment and relax. For a second, Fear could feel Drax unloading every single one of his problems on the young stallion's shoulders.
Acrid gazed at the two, a hoof raised, his eyes teary, not sure what to say, or if to intervene.
Fear oomphed from the weight of Drax's belief.
Just as everything seemed to be calming down, Fear's wound still draining gunk completely marring the side of his face, trying to heal, the young stallion felt another presence whip by him, gliding over the ground. Intent blasted against his brain. He reacted on something deep and primal, throwing out his sword at Drax to pierce the new arrival who...
The figure halted immediately before the sword could shank through him, watching it vibrate in front of him, and turned to look at Fear. It was an emaciated turquoise equine with fairy wings, with wrinkles and bones showing here and there, though not actually bones. It seemed to be made of light, with wavering, shredded aurora-like mane and tail and blazing white eyes that filtered wisps of light. There was a sense of 'this is undead' from its gaunt features and stringy cheeks. It had visceral sharply edged teeth rimming its mouth, and the first thing Fear thought upon seeing it was, 'is this a sketchbook?' The creature's body worbled, taking a step toward Fear.
“Talented little pony, not only sensing me at the last moment but managing to counter me.”
Fear pulled his sword free. “Who are you!? What are you doing here!?”
The creature bared its fangs. “You should know. You've heard all about us. Luna's been talking.” The creature dipped its head. Fear took a few steps back, holding the sword away from him, keeping the creature from attacking Drax, but leaving himself wide open. He dared not collapse, even as his body shook from strain. “My name is Petta, and I know exactly who you are Fearei Shatter. Been hearing about you on the grapevine.”
Fear plopped down on his haunches, breathing heavily again, able to feel nightmare pressure leaking out from around the creature. It was an umbran! Drax was too tired to fight it, to be angry. Emotionally kaput. “What are you doing here!? Why'd you attack us!?”
The umbran smiled sinisterly, its teeth exposed. “That's a silly question. You should know by now how it works. Umbrans are psychic, drawn to destructive intent and conspiracy to eliminate so they can more easily feed on despair.” The umbran sat back, raising his hooves into the air. “An evolution in foretelling. We are supreme creatures, ready for our day to shine once more. I have been following Drax for awhile, watching him. But he's outlived his usefulness. I think I'll just take you over and force you to kill the dragons.”
The whelp was terrified, hiding behind a rock.
Acrid was equally horrified, paralyzed in place, his body shivering.
Fear watched as an unearthly white and turquoise glow radiated from the umbran, shrouding the world in a thick cloud of diseased-looking light. Almost like sickly water. He could feel the enemy growing more powerful from their despair, from Acrid, Drax, the young dragon, and him. Fear steeled himself, forcing his emotions to uprise. “You think you can do any of that!? You think you can just come in here and wreck their home!? Well I got news for you!” Fear stomped on the ground, getting into a fighting stance even as his body screamed at him to stop. “You're. Not. Getting. Anything you want!” Fear ground the words out like coffee beans.
“Then you won't mind if I up the stakes a little.” The umbran said cooly, his eyes narrowed as that overwhelming aura reached out for Drax.
Fear felt it coming, the capability of that power, what Petta intended to do. He took a step forward and reached out with a hoof as his sword felt the violence laced in Fear's mind and lashed out at the source of that misery.
Petta leaned to the side as the sword came down, ducked as it sailed by him, and rolled as it stabbed into the ground where he was, and used a hoof to kick the sword as it tried to pull out of the ground, reaching out with shadow magic and wrapping the sword up in a sphere of sticky inky darkness, holding it in place with his will. “Tut tut. Got to be a little less predictable than that Fearei Shatter. You're going up against creatures with centuries more skill than you.”
Fear gaped, but refused to give in. That aura from the umbran reached out for Drax again.
Acrid finally pulled himself together and responded after seeing how Fear handled his terror, stomping a hoof onto the ground and sending earth shooting up from the ground, before a dome of rock encapsulated Drax, brimming with earth pony magic that pushed away the necrotic energy trying to slay him. “You... you stop that right now!” Acrid demanded, his voice cracking.
The umbran took a moment to feel out the earth pony magic as Fear contemplated his next move. After a moment he knew how to get his sword free from the shadows. As images floated through Petta's mind, Fear used the kenaz's spell he'd been practicing in the sword, and slowly modifying it in order to burn away the darkness with the bright light.
“Project Ace! So it is you!” Just as Petta came to the conclusion and decided to murder Acrid first, Fear brought the sword down, shooting it into the earth and sending another kenaz spell punching into it, making it bounce back and out of the ground. Scorching light pushed up out of the cracks in the basalt rock.
“For creatures of despair Acrid sure puts you through the wringer!” Fear quipped.
Petta jumped back, getting tired of Fear's meddling and reaching out with a dose of psychic energy to necrotize the tissue surrounding Fear's eye.
Fear realized in less than a second that it'd make his eye completely unusable and maybe even spread to his brain. If it happened there'd be no saving his eye nor... maybe, himself. Fear stumbled back as he felt the energy touch his scarred eye, but his horn lit up with a powerful burst of telekinesis and light, sending off a flashbang spell that cracked and bammed. It seared across the umbran's eyes and shattered his perceptions for a moment, stunning him. “Acrid! Corner the Umbran!” He swept out a hoof to punctuate the command. He could tell the umbran was now wary, and correctly determined it was because he couldn't go into the shadows with that flashbang spell around, just on the horizon.
The nightmare pressure increased to try and solve the gathering stalemate.
Fear resisted, having experienced it before and still experiencing an adrenaline rush from this and his fight with Drax, the only thing keeping his body awake right now.
Petta knew he needed to drain Fear's magical energy, but also knew he couldn't push him into using it at the wrong moments. Needed to be cautious about his attacks.
Acrid was firmly rooted to the spot, his body trembling, fused to the ground beneath him from the exceedingly potent psychic outlash.
Fear flowed into a dance as the umbran came at him, a series of punches and bucks filled with necrotizing magic that Fear tried to avoid to the best of his ability, using the sword to try and block blows, but it ended up getting pushed to the side by powerful telekinesis from the strength Petta had absorbed. It was a brutal macabre assault that would end as soon as the deadly necromantic energy surged into Fear's body and corrupted him into nothing but a corpse. Fear was breathing hard, trying to keep up as hooves flew around him, trying to drive him into a corner. Occasionally Fear let off a flashbang once cornered, stunning the umbran for the briefest of moments, before trying to skewer him, only it wasn't enough time because he needed to clear his mind right after doing it too!
Acrid finally built up the courage to act, seeing Fear nearly losing, on the cusp of giving up. Watching Fear struggle to beat Drax and Petta inspired him in a way he'd never felt before, his hooves tingling and pulling up. Acrid waited for the right moment, waiting for the next flashbang, able to tell Fear's spells were getting weaker after prolonged use.
As the next one hit, creating a cataclysm of sound and light, Acrid stomped his hoof on the ground while Petta was stunned. The earth trembled and upheaved, chasing after Petta, erupting around him, latching on, and then collapsing around him, yanking him down into the earth up to his neck. Acrid stomped a hoof again, healing the earth and its cracks, bringing it back down, solidifying it in one deft movement as the two were confused about what was going on.
The ground collapsed around Petta's body. Crushing his form made of pure magic potential.
Fear took advantage of the opportunity, letting out a war cry as the umbran gasped, his sword coming around to chop through Petta's neck.
Petta struggled to the end, sending off a burst of telekinesis to block the blade.
Fear feinted, pulling the sword back, up, around, and in one swift movement cleaved it across the air from the other direction through Petta's neck, severing it off at the top. Magic burbled out at the edges, blossoming and bubbling like the previous umbran's magic had done around the horn. Fear watched, with tired eyes, as a sketchy looking black and white orb, like some kind of drawing, popped out of the umbran's stub as the rest of its body faded away, and the orb of magic potential shunted into his blade.
Acrid let out a sigh.
Fear collapsed. Dead weight.
The dragon whelp ran to where Drax was kept in the earth. The leader had heard and felt it all.
Acrid rushed over to Fear, passively setting a stimulus of earth toward the dome housing Drax, releasing him. The genetically modified stallion lifted Fear's exhausted body up. Some of the ooze had dribbled down to the unmarred side of his face. Acrid pushed some of Fear's hair back, locks of it having gotten stuck to the scar. A thick trickle of blood still stained his muzzle. He pet through his mane, holding him, making sure he was alive and caring for him.
Drax could hardly stand, but eventually joined Acrid by Fear.
The whelp was tentative, speaking to Acrid. “Umm... Acrid sir? How'd you do that? Make the earth move like that? Like Terra?”
Acrid hummed, taking it from Faith. He could hear what was bordering on hero worship in the whelp's voice. “I was gifted this power, and made it my own with hard work. I'm slowly remembering my mastery over it.” He shook his head, remembering all the long hours he put into testing himself to make sure he was ready to take on the umbrans if necessary. Back then the plan had been to fly Acrid in a raptor to where the Crystal Empire had once been in the Frozen North. Acrid frowned as he remembered what was supposed to happen after that. That had been the plan. The abilities were a just in case scenario, his benefactors having been incredibly intent on making sure that if the worst case scenario occurred, the stallion would be ready to make the journey there on his own. Able to make shelter out of rock and metal, able to endure severe cold. Acrid turned to the whelp and gave a gentle smile. “You know, the one you should be asking 'how did you do that' is Fear here. I don't know if you noticed, but he just took on your leader and came out on top.”
Drax's eyes lidded, grinning slightly, feeling a somewhat lighter heart in his chest, less pressure on his muscles. There was less tension. His breast no longer hurt.
The whelp looked at the damaged, softly breathing Fear, and thought about it. “I... I suppose. But Terra...”
Acrid shrugged. “Heroes come in many shapes and sizes, kid. Just 'cause Fear here can't manipulate earth like I can doesn't mean he's not a bonafide hero.”
The whelp grinned faintly, looking up at Drax. Drax nodded, and the whelp helped Drax gently carry Fear's body to make sure nothing was broken.
Fear had been asleep for a couple days, trying to recover. Throughout his dreams his body had been perfectly fine, unscarred, and probably would be for years until he got used to the new burn mark spreading across his left eye, tainting the flesh and leaving it wrinkled when not darkened to red. At least it brought out his eyes in waking, kind of like eyeliner. Fear spent time with his friends, getting information about what was happening in the world of the waking from Luna who interviewed everyone who went to sleep, starting with Faith.
Faith told Luna that Drax had come to her and apologized, and that he had a new plan of action, though he hoped that it would work out well enough. The two of them had hugged, and Faith had started crying in relief. Drax cried too, to the point of convulsing as he tremored from the release of pent up tension.
Gentler informed Luna that he'd met Drax in person and he seemed like a kind dragon. They'd tried a game involving getting high on something called laxweed that grew naturally in the dragonlands, and Gentler had easily lost. Apparently it was good for unicorns who overexerted their magic. Numbed the thaumic gland and horn, and sped up magic recovery. Had a few side effects like slurred speech, dull intelligence, repetitive thoughts, temporary memory loss. Fear wondered if he should take some with him when he woke up.
Acrid had been relatively silent for a long while, meeting with Fear in the dreams, having personally requested it. It was still weird to him that he could meet ponies while asleep, and wondered who else was around, maybe permanently sleeping. Acrid rubbed the back of his head.
“So. Fear. Um, ahem. Fearei Shatter. Sir.”
Fear shook his head. “Fucking stop that, Acrid.” It was weird listening to Fear's voice, without actually listening. It was more like telepathy. He was pretty sure he heard it, but it was just an illusion.
Acrid nodded. “Right. Uh. Fear. Good job beating Drax. I should have believed you when you said it was dangerous. Your paranoia was right. I got in the way.”
Fear barked out a bit of laughter. “You didn't get in the way at all!”
Acrid interrupted before Fear could continue speaking. “But I did! Petta tried to kill me! Because of who I am.”
The young stallion sighed. It was still weird to see Fear completely healthy when in waking he was gruesomely marred. “Look, Acrid. You helped me beat him. In the end that's all that matters. That you were there even though I told you to stay behind. I'm glad you didn't listen to me then, though... maybe listen to me next time.” Fear swiped a hoof over his snout. “However, I'm going to be keeping you with me a little more often. With that earth manipulation, and whenever you unlock your metal manipulation, I'm glad you're with me.” Something occurred to him. “By the way did you gather up my mother's rifle?”
Acrid had a small smile on his face, considering what he said. “I did. I figured you'd want to keep it even though it's completely destroyed.”
Fear sighed a little, rubbing his head with a hoof and gnawing on his lower lip. “Yeah... I have no idea what I'm going to do about that. But I'm not going to just abandon it.”
Acrid chuckled. “Isn't that how you ended up carrying your mother with you everywhere for a couple or few years?” The older stallion poked a hoof against Fear's chest. Everything worbled around them. It was almost time to awaken.
Fear couldn't help but smile a bit. “Yeah. But I can't just get rid of it solely because it's scrap metal now. I'm sure I'll find a way to repair it... or something.” He looked from side to side. “Anyways, it's good to have you Acrid. I used to think it'd've been better to leave you back at the farmhouse, but now I see I was wrong. Thanks for proving that to me.”
Acrid gave a wave of a hoof. “No problem Fear. I was starting to think that way too for awhile. It's nice to have your praise, and it's cool to see a hero in the making.”
The two shared a mutual smile with one another as Acrid's form dispersed and phased away.
Drax and Fear stood in front of each other, Fear coming up to his knee just barely, having to crane his neck upwards just to see him.
“I won't kneel down to your level,” Drax began, “because you are already taller than me and don't deserve to be coddled like that. You've done a glorious thing, Fearei Shatter. Given me a small bit of hope.” His arms were crossed over his chest, breathing slow, toe claws tapping on the basalt. “I won't lie I'm impressed you managed to take every single ounce of my violence and prevail. I was genuinely trying to kill you.”
Fear bat a hoof. “Attempted murder's not the biggest deal, especially when it turns out for the best. I knew you were just going through some issues.” Fear wouldn't hold the momentary lapse in reason condemn the dragon for life. Fear had many momentary lapses in reason throughout his life, and if he wasn't going to be condemned then he wasn't going to judge others. “I take it you've accepted my proposition to go to Dryfield?”
Drax nodded once, slowly. “Indeed.” There was a low growl. “I will put my faith in you, in your power.”
“Great!” Fear chirped. “Then you want to look for a nice little farmhouse on the outskirts of the town proper. It's very quaint, has a lot of food. They'll take care of you. I'll let them know you're coming. They can direct you to the old rock farms that have been abandoned. The occasional desert heat might even soothe you.”
Drax just smiled. “You're very persistent in all of this. In everything you do. I thank you for showing me that personality trait, for not letting me go astray. You're a kind equine, Fear. If more were like you, there'd be less violence in the world.”
Fear scoffed. “Well I don't know about that! It takes all kinds, and besides I've made my fair share of mistakes. I'm imperfect just like everyone else. And I also get overwhelmed sometimes from sensory input and just go into a sort of trance.” He was looking to the side.
“Nonetheless,” Drax countered, “you've done a great deed. And I wanted to give you a couple things you might appreciate, in order to make up for what I put you through.” Drax reached behind him, out to his wings, and pulled something out from behind each of them. His wings had been folded in, holding the two objects. One was a book with Creation Myth scribbled on it in fancy cursive letters, and the other was a vinyl sleeve emblazoned with a metropolis surrounding an oasis of clean looking water.
Fear was surprised, eyebrows rising on his face. His left eye covered by a red scar that hadn't yet healed, and would take at least a couple weeks to fully recover. “W-wow. Really? You're giving these to me? I know how hard art is to come by in the wasteland so...” He looked up from the objects to Drax. “Are you sure? I don't want to impose.”
Drax reached out, setting both things on Fear's back. “Take them. You've earned them. The book inspired me years ago. It was made with equines in mind, but I was still easily able to put myself in the position and relate to the main protagonists.” He shrugged his shoulders. “And I feel it's only right for this rare record to be back in pony hooves. I know you'll take care of it well and make sure it gets to the appropriate ponies so it can be shared with everyone. It was made by Octavia and Vinyl Scratch before the war, when they still lived together.” He grumbled slightly. “Two ponies from different backgrounds, one classical the other electronic, in order to create a new genre. I've only listened to it once, and I loved it.”
Fear was in awe, just accepting it, holding them on his back. “Alright well if you're sure. I'll cherish them. How'd you find them?”
Drax gave a rumbling laugh. “Oh you know. Simple scavenging. They were housed in a superintendent's office at an old factory. I'll go back and grab the others before we leave for Dryfield.”
Fear's pupils were dilated a bit, impressed. “Alright. Thank you Drax. I appreciate the hospitality, and I'm more than happy to spend a couple more weeks with all of you, telling stories and having fun.”
Drax grinned from ear to ear. “I look forward to your presence, Fearei Shatter.”
Young dragons, while not as difficult as Drax, proved to be troublesome sparring partners when coming at Fear in a group, enough to leave him winded if he didn't take time to catch his breath now and then. The dull but colorful whelps zoomed by him, using monkey style martial arts to drive him into a corner.
That happened on more than one occasion.
Even with shadows, it was difficult to avoid getting play-bit by a dragon now and then, though he always tried to keep behind the majority of them. It showed he had work to do when facing off against multiple high strength opponents, but Drax was walking him through some tactics. Always stay behind his enemy, never between. Use all his limbs. When thrust into the air use the opponent to launch off with kicks and use telekinesis like wings to return to the fight. Use shadows as a way to wind around your enemy.
Fear already knew most of that, but putting it into practice against young dragons being trained by Drax himself was... difficult.
That wasn't the only thing Fear had been up to as wings tried to bap him on the head, claws tried to prick his body, and tails attempted to sweep his legs out from under him or conk him on the face. Faith had been busy talking with the dragons and telling them alllll about Dryfield. Gentler entertained himself trying to woo drakainas (and occasionally succeeding, at one point getting his fur completely rustled and messy from a threesome, nearly breaking his hip). And Acrid learned history and a little lava manipulation (it had rocks in it!) from Garyld. During all that time Fear had been finally speaking with his family in the dream realm, making plans, and relaxing with the dragons he'd been trying to help, along with repeating his story against Drax when insistently pressed for it. He didn't like talking about it.
Saway congratulated Fear on beating a dragon, becoming a little more hesitant knowing Fear's luck was going to run out eventually. She called his scar a hero's trophy, but was suitably reminded just how mortal Fear was.
Nyx beamed with pride. Fear had... just about mastered his teachings. There was still practice to do, but nonetheless the ancient stallion was impressed by the young stallion's rapid progress. It made him a little woozy to be honest.
Amelio was as calm as she always was nowadays, but something plagued her and Fear could see it in her eyes. She was drifting away from him. Even as excited as Fear was to tell her all about his progress because he valued her opinion over all others, it felt like she was fading from him. Like a mirage or a figment of his mind. Knowing the others rarely spoke with her nowadays didn't help.
Luna was the best though, becoming giddy and prancing around like a foal. It was amazing the kind of energy that healing and acceptance gave.
“Little Fear, you never fail to impress me nowadays. And I have a feeling your journeys are going to keep doing so.” Luna reached up and ran a hoof through Fear's mane. The colt could make himself larger with his mind if he tried hard enough, but it always left him feeling tired. As is, he barely came up to the alicorn's knee. “Just please be... a little more careful.”
Fear scoffed.
“Fear.” Luna uttered with utter seriousness, glaring at him. “Your recklessness is going to get you hurt. You need to at least consider your options a little more carefully before you go barreling in head first.”
The young stallion narrowed his eyes and pouted, looking off to the side, lower lip jutting out, ears folding back. “Luna, you know I did what I had to do. There was no other way. Danger is imperative sometimes. Necessary to prove yourself.”
Luna rolled her eyes in a wide arch. “And you do not think you could have stood down and waited until he had calmed down for another approach?”
Fear continued looking anywhere but at Luna. “No. Faith's explanation of his personality was accurate, and feeling his soul there was just... no way. He was hurting, and he needed to vent.” He rolled a hoof, twisting it so it faced the ceiling. “Besides, I just keep learning more and more. I can handle anything by this point.”
Luna's gaze was questioning and uncertain, but eventually she spoke again. “Alright, I will trust you.” There was a minor pause between sentences as the mare stewed on that thought. “I finally finished digging in my subconscious memories by the way. I know what the new spell in your sword is supposed to do.”
Fear's eyes settled on Luna's, lips tugging upward. He hopped a little off his forelegs, raising his shoulders and leaning them back, cocking his head and grinning lopsidedly. He recalled what Luna had called the symbol before, what she had gone searching for in her memory. A Sowile, another ancient rune.
“It is an elemental spell, used to bring the power of the world itself into your blade. It can be used in many creative ways, utilizing elements of damage, elements of status, elements of symbolism, elements of detox, healing, protection, venom, anything you can really imagine. So long as it makes up a fragment of the world, you can harness it. I will teach you how.”
Now this was what Fear wanted to hear about! It caused him to tense up, rapt with attention, leaning forward.
“Along with your studies of the flashbang and solar flare, you will need to meditate on the meaning of different aspects of nature. Each aspect of nature, of which there are many, have a specific set of qualities that fit them like a glove. Your quest is to find the qualities that match that slice of nature in order to harness it. A poetic incantation straight from the heart will concentrate its power, similar to all spells. Like fishing, you will be casting a lure in order to drag in a specific facet of life. I taught you what the stars are like, what the sun is like, but now you must contemplate elements of nature.”
Fear glanced away as Luna finished speaking, leaning back and sitting on his haunches, a forehoof coming up and gliding through his mane. He let out a low whistle. “Huh. Okay I guess. Are there any... limits to this? Like what if I think of a bit of nature but it turns out the sword can't wield it?”
Luna's eyes glimmered, her smile reaching untold proportions. “Oh? Is little Fear asking me for explicit help? The colt who says he can do whatever he wants, anything he wants? Can figure out the mysteries of the universe all on his very own?” Luna reached out and poked Fear in the chest.
The young stallion deadpanned. “Luna.” It was curt, a little wild, pulling on times long past and dormant frustrations. “You know that's not what I meant.”
Luna slid past Fear. “You can handle anything by this point, remember little Fear? Your words. not mine.” And with that her body phased out, leaving Fear alone with flicking ears, watching where her body used to be.
Fear's mind wandered while he helped the whelps train again. It was becoming easier and he was getting caught less. It wasn't so much because he was learning anything new, but more because he was becoming more accustomed to applying his techniques instinctively. Gentler had mentioned a famous Abyssinian martial artist once, saying that they didn't fear one cat who knew a thousand kicks, but the cat who had practiced one kick a thousand times.
That was slowly becoming true for Fear. Sure he'd practiced against one opponent many times, and not only that but he'd fought Gentler, Saway, and sometimes Faith. But doing so had made him... complacent.
But now he could focus on his new task while also fighting the young un's. Right now he was thinking about flame. What the element of fire represented. He'd already contemplated different... types of nature. From the insects, to the birds, to actual phenomena in the world, but now he was contemplating one at a time. What did fire represent? It represented warmth, charring. It could cauterize wounds and destroy a forest – Luna had shown him a forest fire once out of his curiosity. Flames could ignite on the simplest things, could melt the strongest of metals, and was capable of evaporating water into steam. It changed the status of its environment through sheer power. Fire was strength. He had refrained from discussing how dragons spouted flames, but he was certain that making them hotter relied on mindset and manipulation of magic.
Fear got back on track. What was flame? Pure energy. It masked itself as a living force, and had all the traits of a lifeform, but that was nothing more than a disguise. Fire was a simulacrum of something greater than itself, a mirror of everything that could be. He was sure other elements must've had that trait, but fire specifically had it too. Fire was meant to be strong, wild, and out of control.
He was meant to invoke it, harness it, control it. Live in harmony with it. Request of it, guide it, and extinguish it with thought alone. Searing flames could both be grown with wind, and squelched with wind. Different types of fire, from what he'd learned from Storm, could be put out in different ways. Oil with salt but not water, wood with water but not salt. Fire was situational like him.
Fear decided he'd done enough thinking, and was ready to try and summon it within his sword. The aspect of flame would be of use.
It turned out just thinking about the concept deeply wasn't enough. Saway and Nyx wouldn't reveal the answer, just grinning and walking off when he asked. It was easier than sticking around telling him 'no' constantly. Asking for help from Faith hadn't been very helpful either aside from her encouragement that he could do anything he set his mind to if he kept at it.
“Keep it up Fear, I can tell you're close, just have faith!” And with that the mare gave him a wink.
Gentler was a little more helpful.
“Hmm... well I don't know about your sword.” The cat's arms were crossed, his snout wriggling, whiskers quivering. “But I know in nature there is a hint of every element inside of it. Something that allows it to be influenced. Even in the heart of a leaf back in Abyssinia, if you meditate on it long enough, you can find air, flying, fire, and so many other fundamental aspects within it. From the ability to be cast away by the wind, to the fire of life sprouting inside. Everything is in everything. What you're trying to do is call upon a single force, isolating it inside a bubble and requesting it to follow your command, as you've already figured out.”
Helpful, but not the answer he needed on further experimentation. Trying to pull elements from the world around him wasn't working. But a solution was slowly growing on him, and he decided to ask Acrid about his earth manipulation in order to confirm it.
“My earth manipulation? Well... it's inside of me already. The connection with that force of nature lives within me and I live within it. We are one.”
“Hmm...” Fear rubbed his chin with a hoof, staring at the ground while sitting on his haunches, holding his belly with the other hoof. “That makes sense. I'm thinking maybe it lives within the sword, but I've tried to pull it out forcefully so... maybe I'm missing something integral?” Fear looked up at him.
Acrid shrugged. “I don't know Fear. All I know is my abilities require a keen mind and emotional integrity to control. The forces listen to your will, but if it doesn't think you're a worthy host it won't obey. The reason my benefactors were looking for earth ponies was because they wanted those already at home with earth pony magic. Pegasi may focus on weather phenomenon but earth ponies inherently understand the vitality of all living things.”
Fear was grinning like a doofus, a feeling that he'd figured out the answer to his problem. His sword was, in a way, sentient with a sort of AI made by ponies from the past, and reinforced by those who'd wielded it. Unicorns were adept with mental strength after all. Then he frowned and cocked his head to the side. “Wait, then how are you able to use magic if earth ponies are all about vitality?” Storm had... taught him this before, but it hadn't occurred to him that it didn't make much sense.
Acrid smiled and shrugged a shoulder. “Because Fear, I was experimented on. While I may be connected deeply with the elements, I needed...” The stallion looked off to the side nervously. “Leylines exposed to weather and nature like a pegasus. There was... experimentation, magical surgery, that kinda thing.” He rolled a hoof. “While I may be connected to the heart, the vitality of life itself and the power of the earth, I didn't have the right make-up to fully command.”
Fear considered that, and was certain he knew the answer to his little dilemma by now. All he had to do was meditate.
It couldn't be that easy, right? His options were growing more limited. But because of it, the finish line was in reach.
Diving into a sword with one's mind wasn't impossible, but it was very difficult. Without Fear's practice meditating and pushing out his reality, without the experience drifting into the world of dreams, it'd probably be far beyond his ability. But as his consciousness filtered from his mind like a form of sleep, following the path his magic laid out for him, he was able to enter the blade that had a mind of its own.
It wasn't exactly what Fear expected it to look like. Though in all honesty he wasn't sure what he'd expected.
It was an alicorn first and foremost, exactly as small as Fear was, with a rather sturdy, regal looking horn. Powerful, majestic wings curled at its side. It had the same color as Fear's fur, and while its mane and tail had the same curls and twists, it was far longer and far prettier, like one would imagine a prince having. One would expect, with such hair for it to have scars lining its body, but there were none to speak of. Its body was pristine and Fear knew in his heart that was because he'd been maintaining the sword with his positive emotions.
Fear cocked his head to the side a little, or at least what he imagined was his head. He wasn't sure he was really here of if he was daydreaming.
The only marking on the alicorn's body was its cutiemark, a chunk of prismatic ore that seemed more like a high quality three dimensional hologram than a two dimensional tattoo. It seemed to exist inside of its body, and outside at the same time, without bulging outward with actual texture. By far the strangest facet about this creature, this entity, was on its face. It had a mask made of solid mirror, with one n-shaped hole, like a happy crescent, and the other a furious-looking slit. It reflected Fear's face back at him, though it was a little muddled and fuzzy. The mask itself had a pair of spike-like horns protruding from the top, giving it an oriental, though almost European vibe.
That wasn't quite what surprised Fear the most. While he'd always sensed a personality emitting from his weapon, he'd never quite experienced its soul like he could now. He heard various traits. It was royal, tall (despite being so small), and graceful like Luna, with a lingering sense of humor about to the point Fear was certain it'd crack a joke. At the same time, it had Saway's ferocity, the feeling that any second it'd leap at him viciously. A heavy sensation that it was a force to be reckoned with, and it had the confidence of one who'd spent a long time fighting enemies more powerful than it.
Fear wasn't sure if that was him in there or Saway.
It also had Amelio's affection for him, bordering on obsession. It was thick, cloying, and attractive, making him flick his ears at the strange feeling welling up inside of him. A weird feeling, being so attractive to someone you hardly knew. Not altogether unpleasant for someone who'd spent much of his life hating himself, but still a tad on the creepy side. Alongside it was Amelio's proper posture and a twinge of beauty and... something hiding in the shadows waiting to be revealed. Fear noticed after the fact that its mane and tail seemed to glimmer ever so slightly.
Suffice to say, the young stallion was taken aback by seeing an actual figure. It took awhile, but after examining him it finally spoke.
“I did not expect a wielder to ever come before me. I always supposed that I would be nothing more than a tool. Fearei Shatter, I have heard your soul, and I have been paying attention to your struggles. I know what it is you seek of me, but I would like to hear it straight from the source.” There was a pause, its eyes seeming to squint as it leaned forward, staring into his soul. “Why are you here?” A hint of curiosity plagued its heavy, deep and charming voice. It sounded as much an alicorn as it was.
Fear was at a loss for words, realizing in hindsight that it also had qualities of himself deeply ingrained. It had his willingness to spur into action at the drop of a pin, the desire to fly to the defense of those who needed it, and it also had a power resonating within it that reminded Fear of himself had he never been damaged but had still acquired strength anyway. A gentle, compassionate spirit. Fear's eyes narrowed, and he asked the first question that came to mind. “What is your name? I don't want to call you sword, and I feel like you deserve to be treated as an equal, not a slave. I may be here to request power from you, but if we're going to work together I want to... know you a little more.”
“It has been a long time since I even thought of such things,” the sword responded with surprise in its voice, leaning away due to being taken aback. It didn't explicitly widen its eyes, but Fear got the impression it somehow was anyway. A figment of his imagination, but a very prominent one. “You always seemed so content with assuming I was some kind of semi-sentient brick. Why start getting to know me now?”
The young stallion shrugged a shoulder and grinned, whipping a lock of hair from his eyes with a hoof. “Well, for one thing, it seems stupid of me to ignore you now that I know there's a figure deep down inside of here. And two, and more selfishly, I want a name to call from now on when I'm wielding you. If that's okay with you? I... assume you're not the kind of creature to just remain nameless due to some past trauma. You don't seem... like you can be traumatized.”
The entity was thoughtful. “You are a considerate stallion, albeit lacking confidence. You have determination, yet you are tentative. While a pleasant quality sometimes, you will need to learn how to regain the strength that was stolen from you so long ago.” The alicorn nodded its head. “And yes, I can be traumatized, but not without extreme misuse by a figure who seeks only to harm the minds of others, and control all they come across.”
A memory flit across Fear's mind of fighting his sister to the death in an alternate timeline, deep within a crystalline cavern, using a solar themed sword that...
“That would be one of my brothers in arms.” Unsurprising it had read his mind, Fear mused. “Though not from this reality for certain. You are a strange existence, Fearei Shatter. I admire you, and I am happy you have chosen to wield me. I am glad that you have chosen your current path. Do not falter, and I shall assist you as much as I am able from here until we must part ways, whenever may that be.” The figure nodded. “As for my name, you can call me Shaybna.”
Feminine sounding, but powerful, Fear thought. Shaybna seemed amused by it. “Um, okay I guess. It's nice to officially meet you Shaybna. Does it have a meaning?”
“I spelled it in your mind the way you would pronounce it. It has a meaning, but I will probably never tell you.” There was a faint whiff of both Amelio's and Luna's sass in that single moment. If Fear could place a gesture to the utterance, it would have reminded Fear of Gentler shushing him with a finger.
“Alright I guess. Shaybna it is. I don't suppose you know how to harness the elements of the world?” Fear's query was expected. Shaybna knew her wielder well, yet... there were always moments for surprise.
“Just call upon me, ruminate on the concept you wish to wield, and I will do my best. It may take most unicorns a few years to learn elemental spells under the majority of circumstance, but due to the magical potential you have infused me with, I have remembered my programmed skillset.” A pregnant pause as Fear stewed on all of what had happened. “Until we visit one another again Fear. I will try not to distract you from your missions.”
“Shaybna, if you ever wanna talk,” Fear began, “you're more than welcome to contact me. I don't want you to feel like you're alone in the world, trapped in this sword, never to leave and see new sights.”
As Shaybna dispersed, her voice rang out. “Fear. You are my eyes in the world. As long as you continue feeding me your emotional presence, I will be content. We are one. And whenever we must part ways, I accept that outcome. There will be others.”
Fear hummed and pulled back from the daydream-like state. He'd be having a nice conversation with Luna tonight.
“Fearei, I'm impressed,” Luna cooed, a low purr in her tone as she looked down on Fear with lidded eyes. “I did not expect you to use your skill with meditation on the sword so quickly. You are indeed a quick study. Maybe not naturally intelligent...”
Fear huffed.
“But once given the proper tools, you certainly run with them.” Rolling her shoulders, Luna was cut off before she could continue.
“Well to be honest I had a biiiiiit of help,” Fear emphasized by lifting his hoof up high, then nearing it to the ground bit by bit. “Gentler and Acrid both gave and confirmed the idea for me. I probably wouldn't have thought to examine the sword closer otherwise. They did the real brunt of the work.”
Luna's lips twitched, pulling upward even further. A playful grin danced across her face as she blinked once. “Honest too.” Luna's echo of a heart fluttered. “You remind me of another unicorn I once knew closely, or... maybe not as close as I should have been.” Her hoof twisted upward a bit, and she arched her eyes, smile twisting into a frown for the barest of moments. “It is good that you know where to give credit where credit is due, little Fear, you have certainly grown. I am not sure I should be calling you 'little' anymore, even if it is affectionate.”
Fear was stuck on her other words. “I remind you of someone? Who?”
Luna chortled, head held high. “And like always you hyper focus on what interests you the most.” A sigh escaped her lips. “You remind me of an old friend. Smart, kind, socially inhibited. Always trying to do the right thing, surprising others, going beyond expectations. A knack for magic and managing to slip into the cracks of the hardest hearts like moisture and ice breaking apart asphalt.” Luna shook her head in disbelief, closing her eyes. There was a knowing countenance about her.
Fear considered that with dim eyes, thinking back on who she could be referring to, knowing this was a game. She'd probably told him of somepony like this before, and he was supposed to remember. She wouldn't have such a playful nature radiating from her otherwise. As his eyes looked inward, his mind scanned over every creature Luna had told him about during her time alive. Due to an associative memory, it only took ten seconds for him to alight on the perch that was a name. “Twilight Sparkle?”
Luna shrugged, blushing. “In a manner of speaking, yes. I didn't expect you to remember her, out of all of them. You must have really been paying attention!” Luna was a little chuffed that her game had been solved so easily, and a little embarrassed at having made the comparison in hindsight. It couldn't have been good for Fear's ego, nor was it right to speak so low of the dead. Twilight had accomplished so much. Was Fear worthy of being called similar?
Fear wasn't sure what to make of it, just pushing his lower lip out. “Thanks but... I don't feel comfortable taking titles or following in a pony's footsteps who accomplished so much, whether they made mistakes or not. I'd rather carve my own path. Not be compared, whether for better or worse.” Fear pumped a hoof on the ground, swallowing hard. He wasn't sure why he felt uncomfortable being paired with Twilight. “Twilight was, all in all, a hero. I'm not at that level yet.”
Luna would've let out a sharp breath of air if this were reality. Instead she simply stared at Fear with pity. “Little Fear. It is okay for you to assume the mantle of others, if others bestow them upon you.”
Fear was about to speak, but Luna cut him off with a hoof stomp and a speech.
“You find yourself undeserving of praise. You feel many have given their lives and own well-being to give you a chance at success. You feel like you're a long line of ponies trying their hardest to bring the next generation into paradise. But you feel like you've already messed up, and that you cannot possibly redeem yourself to completion.” Luna leaned to one side and lowered down to Fear's level. “Even at your best, you latch onto my insecurities about comparing you to one of my friends and use it to fuel your own. Without even thinking, you push yourself down in order to not sully the reputations of those who have come before you, whether they have done wrong or not.”
Fear mumbled something under his breath, staring at the ground.
“You are a compassionate bleeding heart, even with the knowledge that you must sometimes kill because there is not enough time for negotiations.” Luna wrapped a foreleg around his neck and pulled him against her chest. It didn't smell, but it felt like grace. An abstract sensation only felt in dreams and by empaths. “Fear. If you really wish, I am okay with you standing on the same pedestal as great heroes of the past.”
The young stallion looked up at Luna with watery eyes. “Luna... I can't. I haven't done nearly enough to earn that kind of praise.”
Luna nodded, releasing Fear and standing up. “In time you will, even if not now. Just please, be softer on yourself. You do not need to do everything under the sun and moon in order to prove yourself to those that love you. You are enough as you are. We all have made mistakes.” Luna shot Fear a teasing grin and pat him on the head with a hoof.
Fear rolled his eyes. It made him feel better, but he was embarrassed. He wanted to change the subject. “You know even after all this time spent with dragons you have told me little to nothing about Twilight's assistant Spike. Why is that? He was a dragon too wasn't he? Were there a lot of dragonborn back then acting as assistants?”
“No, actually. According to my sister that was a special situation. Twilight Sparkle was never meant to hatch his egg, it was merely a test of character to see not only how potential students handled failure, but what they could do with their magic at that time. Whether some would blame the test, the testers, give up, become difficult, or any number of other reactions. There is a reason Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns prioritized a written test.” Luna smiled faintly. “Twilight's manifestation of magic was both an accident, and in a way, also destiny.”
Fear's jaw hung open for a moment as he tried to put that together. So it was one of Fate's constants revolving around the magic of destiny and cutie marks? How they play out just happens to be the same each time?
Reading Fear's expression, Luna responded. “I actually would not know for sure. But I am certain that if she were to look into the Crystal Heart at the time, that would have been her unchanged fate, her default state.” Luna looked off to the side, wondering what the default state for their world was. Had it been this wasteland, or something entirely different? What had gone wrong?
“Anyways, about Spike?” Drax had mentioned bits and pieces about the dragon and his role in history, how he'd been Twilight's assistant but had not been of much help throughout the war. Twilight had apparently refused to let experiments be performed on his scales, or anything else really even if it meant helping Equestria's defenses.
“Right,” Luna returned to the subject at hand. “Spike followed Twilight around pretty much everywhere, and he helped keep her life organized. Oversaw the logistics of her ministry and, along with Pinkie Pie, helped plan occasional get-togethers. Made sure information got where it needed to. Also had a tendency to stand up for her and encourage her in moments where she was holding the world on her shoulders and enduring the backlash from those she'd sworn to protect and serve. Even when all her friends were disconnected from her with their own ministries, he remained. He cheered her up when the atrocities of the war made her weary and grew heavy on her mind. He was a break from all of it, and a symbol of innocence long past.” She hummed. “The most I know about Spike is he went to sleep in a tall mountain soon before the bombs dropped, so he was not able to be with Twilight in her final moments.” There was a pause. “I do believe Twilight was working on something special in her spare time within that mountain, though she did not let me in on it much, if at all. I don't recall. Hmm...” Luna tapped her chin with a hoof, looking up and to the side. “Anyways, Spike is awake now. And hasn't slept since. I have no clue what he has been up to, but I am sure he has been beside himself in grief after all that has happened.”
Fear's eyes narrowed, and he realized he ought to ask Discord if he knew anything about it. He'd been hanging around for a long time after all, doing who knew what.
Luna continued, and Fear didn't expect it. “You know, little Fear. Spike was hurt the hardest out of all of us, but he was also the strongest of us all. Grew up the most, in such a horrid way, due to the evil of the world and its rapid progress. He watched a figure that was not only a friend and a sister, but also a mother, slowly deteriorate as she dealt with the stressors of life, and also dealt with the horrors of war and everything it meant to fight for a seemingly worthless cause. A cause deep down he might not've even believed in due to Twilight confiding in him. Spike gave his all in service to his nation, to Twilight. He was loyal, and never asked for the kind of power those around him wielded. He just wanted to be kind and help others.” The alicorn's eyes brightened a bit, staring at Fear. “It reminds me of who you are deep down, when the trauma is pushed to the side.” Luna pursed her lips and paused. “I am sure that when you discard all of it, truly, instead of just moving past it, you will find a well of strength you never before expected.”
Fear dwelled on that for a moment with glassy eyes. Was that even possible? “I'm sure Spike is still around, and soon enough he'll seize the closure he needs. We're all going to heal, I promise it. Even if it's in death, we're going to recover from all of this and come out better for it, in spite of it.”
Luna's lips twisted into a smile and she couldn't help but admire Fear's determination. A satisfied glint shrouded her eyes. “I think you are truly ready to help me little Fear. Though it might be a little... dangerous. You-”
Fear stomped a hoof. “Ready for what? I'm ready for anything Luna.”
A phantom knot formed in Luna's phantom gut. There was a terrible sense of trepidation welling up inside of her. “You remember the Surreal I told you about, correct?”
Fear nodded emphatically, taking a step forward. “I definitely do!” He squeaked. “What about 'em?”
“They have been causing incessant nightmares for the ponies of the wasteland and, I suspect, even those who are non-equine. I also theorize that the only reason they do not bathe their victims in nightmare eternal is due to the fact they need them refreshed.” She looked off to the side. “They are becoming far more potent than I can manage. They are clearly feeding on the subconscious of others in order to gather power, but for what I have no idea.” Luna's lips pursed and screwed up. “I cannot counter them all on my own at the moment, and I risk destroying myself permanently, especially if they find this dreambubble.” She looked back to him. “I was hoping I could send you into the thick of things in order to scout around, see what you could find.”
Fear grinned with a sense of superiority, confidence returning to the surface, even if it was faux. “I sure can! Just bring me wherever and I'll do whatever!”
Luna smiled faintly, leaning down toward the small young stallion. “Thank you for this little Fear, but please, be careful. They have not been fighting back as much as I am certain they can. I have a feeling they can truly consume consciousness and will do the same to any who get too close to them.”
Fear twisted a hoof and leaned to one side. “I can do it, don't worry. After Drax I should be capable of pretty much anything.”
The journey had been rather short, more like a dual teleportation across the liminal space than anything else. “This is where we must part ways,” Luna stated as Fear got his bearings, looking around then up. “I've traced them to this dreambubble, but I dare not intrude out of fear they suss me out.” She floated there alongside Fear, tapping her horn against him and coating him in a field of dreamkiller. “I will also be removing the spell tying you to my dreambubble for the time being. All you must do is focus on me and call out my name, and one of my copies will find you.” Luna murmured her next part. “Good luck, little Fear.”
And with that the alicorn teleported away, leaving Fear hovering in a black void below a giant prismatic swirl dreambubble, looking similar to ribbon ice cream, but with many more hues. Fear didn't have a chance to talk to Luna again, but in actuality all had been said. He knew she'd needed to escape.
All he had to do was go in, and leave. It'd be simple.
So why did he feel frayed nerves? Fear grit his teeth and plunged headfirst, diving toward the dream bubble at a supersonic pace, the shell approaching at a snail's pace. It just kept growing larger, and larger... until it was all encompassing his view and felt more like broiling sun than a dreambubble. How was this even possible?
Fear just kept going and slammed into the outer rim, slicing clean through as the shell tried to keep him out, the field flexing inward, then popping. The young stallion was in.
And it was insanity at first sight. All Fear could see around him was bright, flashing water crunching down on top of him, smothering him like an oppressive headache, tearing into his soul and making his body shimmer with all the colors of the rainbow and then some. It flickered in his view like the water from Land of Light and Rain, beaming into his eyes and threatening to cause an epileptic fit. Fear held his breath, pursing his lips together in real life and in the dream. It felt real, the moisture and the cloying nature of the water. How it stung his eyes, how it seared into his retinas.
Fear realized the surface was so distant, so far off, he was probably going to drown before he got there.
The young stallion undulated his body under the surface, flailing like a swimming dolphin, his body writhing with sinuous motion that propelled him even faster as his mind took him farther.
His lungs hurt, ached. His muscles throbbed. He didn't dare take a breath in case this water was dangerous in its own right, somehow tainted with the consciousness of the Surreal. What even were they? Fear slapped his forelegs over his mouth as bubbles escaped his snout and drifted to the surface. It seemed so terribly far. Fear's chest spasmed, his larynx and cheeks swelled. His eyes turned bloodshot and his face became blue under the fur. Fear's movements slowed, becoming sluggish and lethargic. Fear's eyes fell to half mast and while he continued moving, his head hurt like Tartarus. Fear reached up for the surface, seeming farther away than when he started. His confidence faltered, and as his eyes widened and bulged out, Fear gasped for air on reflex, his brain telling him that breathing and risking pulling water in his lungs was far preferable to not breathing at all.
The young stallion's eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he jerked to the side, his hindlegs kicking out, lungs burning from the water flooding in. His forelegs swept wildly at nothing, more bubbles escaping his gaping mouth as panic surged through him, feeling his death coming to him.
This was a dream right?
His lungs felt scratchy, like they were getting scraped up. Fear was descending, unable to float in the slightest from the lack of air inside of him. With vision dimming, Fear didn't know what to do. Was he dying in reality too? As blackness encroached, panic being the only thing remaining in his heart and mind, Fear saw the surface rapidly approaching, less like he was ascending and more like the water level was coming down to greet him.
Coming fast.
Too fast!
As Fear slammed into the surface he shielded his face with his forelegs, unable to move very quickly, and was suddenly flying and spiraling through the air, the environment above twisting around him so fast it was dizzying.
Squeezing his eyes shut from just how much whirling vertigo he was experiencing, the nausea creeping up on him quickly, Fear hurled in a spinning arc, both in reality and in his dream as he fell back toward the water he'd just been ejected from.
All Fear could see was sunlight, golden and orange sands, lustrous palm trees, and a Tropico-like palace of sultry, bright and angry colors that incarnated the eyes as much as the flickering hues of the water down below. No clouds. Just blue and purple skies.
Fear hit the water hard, nearly breaking every bone in his body, able to feel his form shudder under the twisting impact, one leg under him, the other out to the side, hindlegs above him. He struggled to right himself and push to the surface, wheezing and hacking out globs and streams of water from his larynx, squirting out and flaring brightly as it mixed with the sea water around him. Fear gasped for air and tried to establish his bearings.
He was close to a white marble dock, glittering like crystal, and it nearly blinded him along with all the other lights and colors. While Fear didn't know how to swim in reality, he was able to do it with sheer will, finding his way to the edge and using a combination of telekinesis and brute strength to haul himself up and out.
Shaking himself off of water, Fear finally noticed the sheer grandeur spliced between the atrocious chromatic appearance surrounding him. The palace would remind him of a temple of worship but also a place where a czar or el presidente might rule, if he had the right context to compare it to that anyway. For Fear it was completely new. The sands looked almost like snow from some angles. If it wasn't for the color it might as well have been that or glittering chalk powder. The young stallion looked around as he walked forward, not seeing anyone to greet him, or that knew of his presence.
The place was empty.
Fear's sixth sense was hardly working. Felt like there was a block. Going through the water and its crushing pressure left his brain feeling more ache than sense. It didn't hurt, but the barrier might as well have. As Fear continued focusing on the area around him, he noticed a keen dissonance in the sounds. While there certainly was noise on further examination, it was a fluttering sensation, as if he were wearing headphones and the direction the sound came from was constantly shifting. It drew his attention around in circles in a maddening way.
And the first step Fear took, as his hoof hit the pier, he nearly slipped as if walking on ice. It was less that it was slippery, and more that the textures underneath him were now moving as if they were on a conveyor belt. It felt incredibly disorienting, and Fear was sure he was supposed to be taken along for the ride, but instead everything was just sliding under him while he stayed in place.
The next step Fear took, as if the world around him was having a hard time loading properly, the young stallion felt as though he'd become bigger, or swollen. It was hard to speak, hard to see. He was sure he was going to throw up again. He had to get out of here fast.
Fear broke out into a gallop toward the palace under the surrealist sky. Nearing was just as disorienting as the moving ground, as it looked farther away than it turned out to be. It was big, but... just reaching out allowed him to touch the door without straining himself despite looking extremely far away. Entering through the door, he found the corridor just inside twisted and turned into place like a living, breathing creature, before righting itself out, allowing him deeper in.
Past that, it became incredibly overwhelming. The lobby was full of ponies(?) that didn't even register Fear's existence. Everything felt like mismatched pieces of a puzzle crammed together. Everyone within seemed busy going about their own business, whatever that was, or maybe they were just relaxing and preparing to head out to the beach? There were sounds flooding the interior, echoing off the walls, everything sounding vaguely corrupted, making Fear clap his ears down onto his skull. Some of it all sounded like repeating stuck records, or radios incessantly switching between broadcasts, making the tone and pitch of every single word, be it in a group or with the employees, asynchronous and discordant. Sometimes unknown creatures slithered out from under couches, around plants, and slipping out of walls like it was nothing, like it was all an illusion. Fear planted himself down on his haunches and tried not to throw up, especially at the sight of the bodies themselves. Teeth and eyes floating out of place, grotesque and overly detailed. Body parts flicking and tumbling about before resetting, sometimes spinning out of place in a strange fashion before reorienting again.
Fear didn't like crowds he wasn't prepared for, and it made him panicked and nervous. Watching more and more seem to come in just thrust a terror upon him the likes of which he'd not experienced in awhile. He didn't know when it'd end, and that unknown punched something through his heart he couldn't describe but sent him into a tizzy anyway.
Bolting into a sprint, Fear ran up the stairs leading to the upper level, going anywhere at random, bypassing someone who was backwards long jumping a few times before zooming up the stairs right past him. First he was ahead, then the other was. Fear's cheeks bulged out and he nearly vomitted. Too many ponies. His flesh was alight, tingling from sensory overload. He swept his head around, diving into another room, passing by more creatures, primarily equines, who had crumbs missing from their bodies, making them look dithered and impossible. A flickering lag surrounded him, making it feel like he was jumping about, and sometimes it affected everything but him, as if the reality was struggling to keep up with him.
Fear squeezed his eyes shut and screamed as he bust through a door he hadn't even seen coming, just suddenly appearing in front of him like it'd rushed up to greet him. His heart hammered in his chest, he could feel it in waking despite feeling entirely disconnected from his form. His hooves trembled under him, and he slammed the door closed behind him, trying to calm down. The world around him, all the furniture and planters in this new room vibrated as if in excitement, some spinning in place and nearly collapsing, or at least appearing as though they should be. Instead they completely ignored gravity while at the same time being beholden to it enough to keep them stuck to the ground. The young stallion's chest rose and fell rapidly, feeling as though he were stuck in a corrupted game full of terrifying glitches. He had no familiarity with such things, so it was all the more horrifying to see the reality he knew and loved being broken down piece by piece until it was nothing but clown vomit.
As Fear finally got his bearings, he noticed someone staring at him from behind a heavy looking iron-wrought desk, fancifully crafted, engraved, and embossed with various godly animals. He then did a double take.
That someone across the desk was Linebreiker, albeit twisted and distorted. “BREIKER!?” Fear shouted in disbelief, lunging forward, not quite snarling. There was a twinge of hope, and a twinge of despair to his voice. Her blonde hair and green body was unmistakable. It was Breiker, even if surreal.
“No.” The figure stated simply. “Not quite.” Its voice was definitely Breiker's, but fuzzy and like it was coming from an out of range radio. Fear could hear it reverberating in his skull. Come to think of it, Fear could not feel her intent, nor her soul. He saw, but he didn't see. “You are merely viewing a mirror image of what you wish to see, Fearei Shatter.” Breiker(?) leaned forward and narrowed her eyes at Fear. There was a much different presence to this mare, so it couldn't be Breiker.
Fear relaxed slightly, then rolled his shoulders and grit his teeth. “You seem to be the only one who can genuinely notice me. Everyone else was far too busy with... other things.” There was a lull in conversation. 'Breiker' was analyzing Fear, Fear was analyzing 'Breiker.' “So if you're not Breiker, and I'm only seeing what you want me to see...” Fear grunted and cringed as he saw one of the figure's legs twist and pop, before it stood up and tossed the desk to the side. It slid over the ground like the maroon carpet was made of ice, and the desk itself was lighter than air, even though it looked heavier than lead. “What are you? And how do you know my name?” Fear took a step back.
“I don't think you've quite earned that information, do you?” The filly-like mare lifted an eyebrow, and faux-Breiker stood there for a moment as its teeth fell out of its mouth in pieces, before a gnarly set of fangs grew out of the gums in their place, dripping green venom onto the ground.
“Given you are the intruder, I think you should be answering to me. Why are you in our domain? How did you find us? Where did you c...” The faux filly's eyebrows rose and she grinned from ear to ear like her lips had been split apart, its muzzle flattening into a plate-like face. Its teeth were stained with lime green ooze. “You smell of Luna.” There was an aroused tone to the voice, and a full body shudder accompanied it.
Fear backed up into the door.
“I think we'll make an example of you. If you are truly friends with her, then when you don't come back to her she'll learn to stop meddling in our affairs.”
Fear didn't see the attack coming.
Faux-Breiker lunged at Fear, opening its mouth up to unimaginable proportions and biting down on his shoulder.
Fear cried out, lifted a foreleg up, and struck the creature in the temple with as much force as his mind could muster, throwing, shrugging and jerking to the side in the process, throwing her to the ground.
Faux-Breiker laughed in an almost... erotic manner as she collapsed and got back up, wiping her face with a foreleg. No blood was on her teeth but...
The young stallion's form sagged to the side. He immediately felt incredibly tired, like he couldn't keep his eyes open in the dream. There was green goo oozing out the fang marks embedded in his shoulder. Fear quickly swept off the ground and circled around his opponent.
Faux-Breiker slid into the floor.
Fear's mind went on full alert, as alert as he could be in his sudden exhaustion, jaw hanging open. He knew based on methods of prediction where she had not only gone, but where she would appear. His mind made him weightless by flicking a switch in his consciousness like Nyx had taught him, jumping into the air like he was on the moon and building a spell up in his horn. Plasma secreted off the tip in a ball.
Faux-Breiker came up swiftly.
Fear harnessed the light coming in through the window and fired the mini solar flare spell at the ground, right at Faux-Breiker, intending to incinerate her on contact. Things were far easier to manipulate in dreams.
The mare's body became incorporeal and phased right through the attack.
Fear's eyes bulged out, widening.
Faux-Breiker phased through Fear next as he flailed in the air. As she appeared behind him, solidifying herself, she brought an extended hoof out and slammed it into the back of Fear's neck, sending him plummeting to the ground.
Fear crumpled like a sack of powderized bricks against the carpet, and would have a broken neck if this had been reality. Still, he felt a very real ache in the back of his spine, sweeping down through the vertebra. He felt even more tired. His body was starting to convulse intermittently, jerking to the side. Fear quickly rolled out from under where Faux-Breiker was coming down onto him.
The floor cratered under the falling figure.
Fear jumped up with all the strength he had left and threw a bladed hoof at her face.
The mare danced to the side and back, summoning a gladius to her side and holding it with the dream-like powers of her mind, swinging it for Fear's neck.
The young stallion ducked, leaped forward, and tried to uppercut the mare's jaw, only for her to take a step back and swing the sword down where he was. He merely swerved to the side, and lunged forward to bury his stubby horn into the flat face's eye.
Faux-Breiker leaned to one side, realizing he was in too close to hit with the sword. Her hoof came up, bent at the elbow, and punched the young stallion in the ribs (no reaction time for him to dip into the shadows), pulling back in an instant like a sucker punch.
Cough.
Fear's eyes nearly popped out of his skull as he stumbled forward in his overreach, another trembling convulsion pumping through him. Fear knew Faux-Breiker would be coming at him from behind, so he swung around, summoning a sword from his horn and cutting the gladius off at the pass, shoving it off and to the side as it came down on him. The sword shoved out of his horn all the way and he brandished it in the air.
The mare let the first gladius disperse into motes of light and summoned a second, stabbing it forward in a thrusting motion.
Fear ducked under it, stepped forward, and gored her in the chest with his short horn, before bringing the sword around and shoving it through the side of her stomach, pulling free a moment later and doing a spin as she backed up in surprise, shoving out his hindlegs and sweeping her fore out from under her.
He was about to finish her off by bringing the point of the sword and puncturing it through the top of her skull, but his body froze up, and his mind failed him, falling to the ground after one final convulsion.
Faux-Breiker was panting and laughing, pushing up onto all fours and brushing herself off as Fear lay on the ground, consciousness throbbing in and out, one eye hanging at half mast, face tensed up. “Hahaha, what a wild fight. You're not half bad.” The mare kicked Fear in the muzzle, crunching it down slightly, making it shove off to the side. He couldn't make a sound. His inner voice wouldn't work.
Fear was dying.
“I'm surprised it took my virus venom so long to work on you. Worthy opponent indeed. You must have a strong will. No matter.”
Fear closed his eyes. He felt something leaking from his ears. It wasn't blood, it was memories. He was forgetting what had just happened, who this was, about Luna, and everyone he cared about. Oblivion was encroaching, and all he felt was panic. Reality leaked from his skull as his consciousness died, his body smoking like an overwhelmed, fan-less computer.
“Good night and goodbye,” She uttered. “If you have a body in the world of the waking, that venom will make sure you never return to it.”
This was not the first time Fear had a near death experience. But this was the first time it had been so nightmarish. His consciousness falling through nothingness and being caught in the cogs of reincarnation. It was like a waterwheel and he had to struggle to not let himself fall out of his cup and into a new life. He saw all sorts of creatures being born, and he refused to be the one in his barrel of souls to leave it. He didn't want to lose his memories again, didn't want to be pushed into something entirely new.
Fear refused to give up on this life, crying out for someone, anyone to help him, to pull him out of this experience and give him a second chance. His voice echoed among thousands of sleeping souls waiting for a chance at life again. Fear was rebellious, trying to crawl up and out, trying to get to the top, clawing his way to what he hoped was freedom and not just another dumping ground. Like he was inside a junk yard or a recycling center. The panic was paramount, and he never wanted to come back. He wasn't ready! This wasn't his time! Not his time to go...
Struggling even harder, Fear pulled himself out of his cup. Where was his mother? Had she gone through this? Or had she... Fear understood. Maybe she'd moved onto the real afterlife instead of coming back. A grimace settled over his soul as he squirmed through souls and tried with renewed fervor to scramble to the top of the waterwheel of fate, to the top of the reincarnation process and climb out of death. He was determined. Even as terror spread through him, as regret pierced his imaginary heart from the thought of having been wrong about how good he was, and about how powerless he was without his sixth sense and every other weapon at his disposal, he writhed to the top.
But there was no opening at the top.
“Please! Anyone!? Can anyone hear me up there!? Please help me!” Fear cried out with every vibrant fiber of his soul, screaming with his substitute of a destiny. He was imperfect, he made mistakes. But he wouldn't let it end this soon without a fight!
A voice called out to him, a light peeling open from the darkness at the top. Fear felt a weightlessness of his soul and started to rise. “Fear is in the hearts of everyone, courage is only a response. Change is in the hearts of everyone, inspiration is only a choice.”
Fear not only recognized the voice, he recognized the tone. It was Amelio, and that was an incantation to focus magical power. As his body rose to the light, Fear tried to hasten the process, swimming toward the surface and letting his consciousness plunge back into reality.
The young stallion ended up in the treasure room with Amelio as he opened his eyes and sat up, filled with nothing but light and a single vault door leading outward.
“There is the Fear I know and love.” Ameliofate reached out and stroked a hoof over Fear's wild and crazed face. His eyes were shrunk to pinpricks and he was looking around with little cognizance of where he was, just a vague memory of what had happened, breathing hard. Amelio spoke once more as Fear tried to collect himself. “I know I told you I would bring your consciousness back from the brink if you lost it, but I did not expect you to use the opportunity so soon, brother.” There was a chastising tone. “I cannot believe you would let yourself die so easily. That is not the Fearei Shatter I know.”
Fear could feel the reprimand behind it all, He let out a heavy sigh and fell back against his spine again, looking up at the non-existent ceiling made of light. “Meels. Thank you. I don't know how I lost so easily. I guess I wasn't expecting a fight to break out that fast. Maybe I just didn't want to believe Breiker, even a figment of her, would try to kill me.” There was a pause. “I assume you know everything that happened, correct?”
“Correct,” Amelio stated simply. “It looks like you need a lot more practice, foalish brother.” There was a conniving, teasing simper on Amelio's face as she sat on her haunches, forelegs crossed over her chest.
“Yeah yeah, I know. I screwed up bad.” Fear squeezed his eyes shut, his brain throbbing but feeling back to normal. The venom was gone, that much he could tell. “Damn I cannot believe I have to tell Luna how hard I fucked up just now.” His voice was a low drawl, full of embarrassment. “Ugh.” The young stallion pressed his hooves against his eyes and wriggled back and forth. “Aaaaahg! Fuck!! Fuck all of this! I was so close!”
Ame chortled. “You were not even slightly close, Brother. You did not obtain a single hint of information, and you were bit immediately. You are not nearly as careful as Luna. You need to learn to handle yourself better even without your powers, otherwise there will be a day you are truly helpless.” She reached out and bapped Fear's stomach. “It is especially important because I cannot help you again. I told you that. This is a one time only deal, Fearei Shatter. Take care of yourself better. I do not feel good interfering with life and erasing the mistakes of even loved ones. You are lucky I am merciful.”
Sighing deeply, Fear let his legs flop down around him. “Right. I'm sorry Ame. I didn't mean to force you into that position. I know it's uncomfortable. I really didn't want to be... eugh. Reincarnated when I still have so much to do.”
“Then you will have to learn to be much more merciless to your enemies. There is not always a time to talk and debate. Not always a time to gather information. Defeat, then interrogate. Not the other way around.” Amelio settled down on her stomach next to Fear's side. “So, how did you like seeing your next step in the eternal cycle of life? You impressed?”
Fear was vehement. “I fucking hated it.” His voice was sour and aggressive. “I'm not ready to forget everything and move onto a new life. I don't want to forget all these lessons and have to either learn new ones or learn these ones all over again. I don't want to experience new traumas or old traumas all over again. I am so tired of life, Ame.” A sigh escaped Fear's lips. “I don't want to go back there Amelio. I don't even want to move onto the afterlife, whatever it consists of. Even if it's being reborn in another reality, and not the wasteland, I don't want it.” Before he knew it, a dose of terror was striking and gripping his heart. His eyes clenched shut again. “Whew. Guhh...” Fear held his stomach with his forelegs and cringed, trembling. “I don't want it Amelio.”
Amelio gave her brother a knowing smile. “Then try not to die again okay? This is just another step in your journey to becoming incredible.”
Fear huffed. “Well it's not like even this is going to keep me from taking risks. Our Mom named me Fearei Shatter for a reason after all. She wanted me to be better than her. Helps I got our father's recklessness. I'm not going to let a little cowardice keep me from living up to the ideals of a hero.”
His sister stroked over his stomach absently. “That is the spirit, Brother. I knew it would not keep you down for long.” A knowing smile plagued her face. “By the way, Fearei, I had something to tell you. I have been conversing with the gods of our world, and I have recently met the god of hypnagogic space.”
Fear opened an eye to look at Amelio, wondering where this was going.
“His name is Kioku, and he takes the form of a crow more often than not. He told me the Surreal come from the space he inhabits, though he will not let me say anymore, nor will he tell me much more.” A shrug. “He does not like the surreal, and thinks they are a cancer in the realm of sleep, and will eventually kill off everything even if they do not know it.”
The young stallion sighed. “Well, I guess it's even more important that we beat them into the ground in that case. But for now I don't think I should be doing anymore scouting. I don't know. Luna can't risk luring them into this dreambubble but neither can I keep risking my life in a place I'm not at full power.”
Amelio guffawed. “And what was that about not letting terror grip your heart, Brother?”
“Oh shut up, Ame. I'm just trying to be a little safer. I need to practice fighting without the aid of my empathy more before I do that. If there are going to be enemies that put me on even hoofing I'm in desperate need of either a secondary advantage that's guaranteed, or at least a method of overcoming others despite not being able to see them.”
Ame nodded once. “Sensical, Brother. I wish you luck in your endeavor.”
“Thank you. I'm going to need it.” Fear rolled over onto his side, preparing himself for telling Luna about what happened. Saway's opinion of him was probably going to take a blow.
Luna had been terrified when she'd learned of what had happened to her student and friend. She was readily agreeable to him staying on the sidelines until he'd practiced fighting without his usual edge in battle. He might have beaten Solanum but there'd been a strong underestimation in that battle. She'd made sure to voice the thought, much to Fear's chagrin. But he knew she was right. She'd have to start using the illusions of the moon and shadows in order to blind him in their training if he was to grow stronger and increase his ability to predict at a faster pace.
Fear's ego had taken a hit, and while Saway wasn't perturbed by his loss, she'd tried to goad him into feeling worse about himself by telling him it was only a matter of time he'd gotten his ass handed to him. Fear didn't latch onto the bait, knowing better and having grown far more than that.
Nyx promised to help Luna a little more with the Surreal, but it was looking bad. Fear could read it on his soul.
Fear rarely kept his mother's radio on, but him not listening didn't stop important broadcasts from going out to the wasteland.
“He-llooooo children of the wasteland! It's your favorite DJ here with some more news of the recent fan favorite Marvelous Spiral! It's taken us awhile to really go through the footage, but it looks like this is a bonafide hero doing his best to keep the peace between all creatures of the wastes. I have no idea what he was doing in the dragon lands, but it seems he's convinced this remnant to leave their home for broader pastures. We'll see what comes of it all, won't we? Now, into the story of how he did it.”
Fear had been reading his new Creation Myth novel off and on during his off time, in order to fall asleep easier. It gave him ideas for some new spells... if he could only figure out how to replicate the strange source of magic portrayed in the books. Oh well. He was finding himself deeply enamored with the main-main protagonist of the story, a dormant hero of hope in all ways, disenfranchised by his world's current day politics and where life was headed.
Sounded very familiar.
Though, the hero Fear put himself in the shoes of didn't think it deserved to end, oddly enough, and was surprised that the game him and his friends were playing, instead of saving the world, caused it to end. Fear found joy, and relatability in the story of learning about identity, of becoming a hero, of recreating society and the responsibility of trying not to let your efforts crumble around you. A story about learning to depend on others, and about the moment those you depended on failed you.
Faith's lower lip trembled violently like she was about to break out crying, her eyes tearing up. Fear wasn't quite sure what she was thinking, but he knew she was feeling a flurry of emotions from relief all the way to frustration. He'd just finished telling her about his second near death experience in full detail. It had been one full of more clarity than most of them in his memory, as if it had been ingrained or burned into his memory. There was nothing quite like it, and it still struck terror into him.
It seemed to be doing something similar to Faith.
Fear cocked his head to the side and reached out with a hoof. “Cap for your thoughts, Faith? I hope you're not too worried, I'm gonna try not to let it happen agai-” Fear was cut off as Faith lunged forward and embraced Fear with all her earth pony might, wiggling him from side to side and nearly crunching his spine from her strength as Fear let out a squeak like a chew toy, the sound of all the air in his lungs being released in one deft movement.
“Fear. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you! I wish you'd rely on us more!”
Fear gacked. That was not the response he was expecting. “Put me... down please,” he gasped out. “What are... you trying... to do? Kill me... a third time!?”
Faith laughed and hugged him for a little while longer, depriving him of air before finally setting him down and letting him breathe. She was visibly crying, tears running down her cheeks silently, lips gravitating downward.
“I'm sorry Fear. I wish I could've protected you. Please, from now on. Even if you have to interrupt us during our sleep, bring us with you into the fray. We want to be there for you. You mean so much to us.” She set a hoof on his shoulder.
“Mh. Alright Faith. Sorry to worry you so much.” Fear sounded slightly downtrodden, a little shocked, and a bit soft. “I just wanted to make sure you and the others were very clear on what had happened to me.” Gentler had been silent, concerned. With a stiff upper lip he'd told Fear to please take him with next time. Seemed to be a common sentiment actually. Though Acrid had opened his mouth in a silent scream, then become queasy. Apparently in the past there wasn't much knowledge of the afterlife. Near Death Experiencess weren't commonly known about... aside from the ponies who were temporarily dead on the battlefield before the healing megaspell went off. Nearly everypony who'd voiced it though had been “re-educated.” Acrid mused for a second if Fear needed to be re-educated.
Old habits died hard.
But as for Faith... Fear wasn't sure. “Tell me what's on your mind please? I'll try to make sure all of you are there for me next time so we can work on it together, but I need to know what you're thinking.” Fear actually... wasn't sure he'd bring them with him. He'd let them wait in the main dreambubble because he wasn't sure they could do much in the world of dreams. He didn't want them to get killed. He trusted them, but he also knew reality.
“Fear... it's strange. I've always wanted to believe, wanted to feel, that somehow our inner alicorn mattered in the afterlife. That it would somehow save us, or be what brought us peace, or maybe that it'd be the key factor in deciding where we went, or perhaps whether or not we stopped reincarnating. I was never sure. The good book doesn't speak of death. The furthest it goes is mention that in death there will be peace, and that the inner alicorn can maybe grant immortality for those select few who manage to manifest it. But that usually... requires a spell.”
The young stallion remained silent as Faith spoke.
“Seeing you die over and over again makes me think that maybe... maybe you're getting close to not having anymore chances. You've been brought back from the dead twice so far, and each time you've dived farther into the process of either reincarnation or an eternal sleep. I'm afraid that if there is a next time... next time you won't be coming back to us.” Faith was trembling. “Not many manage to experience a close brush with death, feel its cold grip as many times as you have. Few live through it without permanent damage.” There was silence.
Fear was about to speak but Faith continued.
“I guess what bothers me is that I just don't have control over your next step in the grand scheme of things, nor mine. Or maybe... maybe we just haven't found that powerful inner alicorn inside us both. I'm unsure. But maybe...” She hummed. “You did mention you saw your mother last time so... I suppose maybe no matter what happens, time is relative and we'll get a chance to see each other again.”
Fear lifted an eyebrow, pretty sure he saw where this was going.
“I'm going to try and make sure all of us get the rest we need on the other side until it's time for us to go back and do it all again. There is meaning to the challenges we go through, both to us and to others. Whether we remember our past lives, whether we rest forever, it doesn't really matter.” Faith hesitated a moment. “Sorry, I'm rambling. I don't quite have my thoughts in order but...” She smiled broadly, her eyes taking on that resonating power they always had in them. That electrical charge, the ocean-like depth. The amount of dynamism resting inside was inspiring. It spoke of a mare who defied all odds. “Fear. We're always going to be together, in this life or the next life. And we'll just keep adding more souls to our collection. We'll get to know everyone, and we'll manifest our inner alicorn as many times as it takes until we are all one.”
Fear couldn't help but smile back.
Faith continued. “Fear. We are one with existence, you are me, I am you. I am sure that's the secret to everything. The wholeness that makes up an alicorn is just one creature returning to a source where they are made whole by everything.”
Fear adjusted his positioning a bit, walking in place, and spoke, his ears flicking. “I think you may be right, Faith. And I think that even if we can't be with each other during every struggle, we'll be with each other in the end.”
The mare giggled. “Fear, I don't think there is an end. If there's one thing you've taught me it's that... maybe entropy isn't as hardset a rule as we think. Things can be born again, nature is cyclical and... hm. I suppose what I'm saying is that the meaning of our lives will exist for eternity as a permanent mark on... everything.” She threw her hooves out, looking from side to side, gesturing to all of reality and beyond. “You know what I mean?”
Fear thought on it. And smiled. “Yeah, I do. I'm glad this talk helped you Faith. We'll get through life together.” Instead of me trying to comfort my friends about the inevitability of death, Faith comforted ME. Strange how life works. A thought occurred to Fear. “I remember Mom telling me matter and energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it simply changes forms. So yeah, I think you might be right.”
Fear was finding the traveling to be rather bothersome. It gave him time to practice everything he'd learned up to now. He switched between disciplines and teachings like flowing from one dance motion into another, but it grew repetitive sometimes and he needed a break. A break from the constant self-improvement. Luna was putting him through a new regimen where he learned how to predict movements without the use of his empathy, allowing him to grow skilled at not only noticing the smallest details in a fight, but also giving him a handicap to make reacting on instinct harder. But he needed an actual vacation from everything, from fighting for his life and failure. Otherwise he'd grow exhausted and burned out.
And that's where Fear was now, in the dream world's castle garden. It was peaceful. The trickle of water was calming, the gentle breeze refreshing, and the smell of plants soothed the soul. All of it was a salve. It was here that Fear remembered that he still had one person left to talk to about the past, something that had been nagging at him in between practice. He stood stock still, looking from one side to another, then up at the universe above him. “Discord? You around? I know you're there and watching me. I might not be able to feel you but I've figured out by now that doesn't stop you.”
Nothing but silence.
Fear's eyes narrowed and he stomped a hoof. “Come on out. I know how you do it. You're using chaos magic to change the laws of how my empathy works. It's obvious. Show yourself. You don't abide by the rules.”
“Clever, clever,” Discord's voice cooed from nowhere and everywhere. “You certainly know your stuff, Fear.” The draconequus appeared from behind Fear, his body sinuously writhing like a serpent as he slipped from a rip in space. Fear still couldn't distinctly feel him, could tell he was trying to hide something and himself, and due to it took on an unimpressed expression as he turned to face him.
“See? Was that so hard? You really should introduce yourself to everyone. I know you like being alone where no one else can see or hear you but this is a little overboard don't you think?”
Discord let his eyes fall shut and crossed his mismatched arms over his chest, leaning back as he hovered in the air. “My my, for someone who just technically lost his life, you sure demand a lot of those more powerful than you.”
“Can it, Discord. You may be more powerful than me under most circumstances but I can tell you need something from me. There's something only I can provide that you're looking for.”
Discord's mouth flicked into a grin, glaring at Fear.
“But that's not why I called you here. I don't need to know what you're scheming in order to follow through with my purposes in life. I'm sure I'll fall in line with your plans, whatever they are, whether I like it or not.” Fear rubbed a foreleg across his snout. “Even I can tell your machinations are built on me doing what I'd do naturally. You wouldn't be encouraging me to be myself otherwise.”
Discord guffawed. “I give you way too little credit!” The draconequus launched at Fear and wound around him, coiling against his body. “So, little one. What is it you want of me?”
Fear adopted a smooth, sly smile and a knowing glint. “Oh? For someone who watches everything you sure don't know everything.” It felt good to turn his words around on him.
“Huh, and you certainly have quite the ego on you. Or is it just me you feel so dominant and confident around?” There was an accusatory, playfully angry tone to Discord's voice as he huffed and bapped Fear in the cheek with a lion fist.
“I don't know, you tell me.” Fear cooed.
Discord leaned in close. “I think you and I are naturally on the same wavelength. We're like two peas in a pod, and even if you can't sense me... you can sense that. You like the playful little banter, and if I didn't know any better I'd dare say you're attracted to me, colt.” Discord's voice was low, husky. A little too close.
Fear's jaw fell open, a flabbergasted expression and feigned offense crossing his face as a blush twinged his cheeks.
The draconequus unwound from around Fear and returned to floating in the air, dragon dancing around the young stallion. “You're not the only one who can analyze others, so you should remain in your place unless you want to have deep, dark secrets of yourself revealed.” There was a warning tone to Discord's voice.
Fear scoffed. “You wouldn't tell anyone. You don't go around anyone. Your threats fall on deaf ears.”
“Ooh! Is that a challenge young Fear? Because I assure you I can release every secret you've ever thought belonged to just you.” A lion claw poked Fear in the forehead, making him lean back slightly.
“Now who's flirting?” Fear asked with a teeming, predatory smile.
Discord curled his asynchronous hands into fists and trembled from the strain of flexing all his muscles at once. “Ooooh! You really know how to get an old draconequus going.”
Fear lifted an eyebrow. “Whether I'm actually somehow attracted to you or not... do you have any idea how gross this is? If anyone saw this I'm sure they'd vomit.”
Discord laughed gaily. “Well, maybe you should get to the point then instead of teasing me senseless.” He threw his hands into the air with a good-natured show of friendly frustration. He followed up with transforming a hedgebush into a lawn chair meant for stargazing, snapping his fingers with a crack and apparating another one next to him. “Please, take a seat and tell me what's on your mind Fear.” Discord leaned back, hands behind his head, fingers laced together. “You may have the world on your shoulders but I might as well do my duty as an agent of chaos and... shake things up.” Last but not least, Discord snapped two mai tais into existence.
The young stallion couldn't tell if Discord was being sarcastic or not, but he took the proffered chair and drink, laying down on the former on his back, squirming a bit in order to adjust himself and get comfortable, leaning his head against the slope of the chair. After a sip, surprised by the taste, he spoke. “You know. Unlike what everyone says, you're not bad. You're just witty and childish sometimes. I get the feeling you just want someone who can either keep up with you or accept you for who you are.”
“Please, Fear,” Discord rolled his eyes as he spoke curtly, “leave the psycho-analysis for another time. This is about you right now, not me. You called me here for a reason. What is it?”
Fear huffed a bit, turning his view to the stars above, his eyes falling to half mast and dulling. “Well, it's nothing much really. Though I suppose I could keep you here for a bit longer.” Fear took a drag of his drink through the straw.
Discord remained silent, just listening like a statue. His age showed in that moment.
“The primary reason I called you is because I wanted to know about Spike the dragon. What is he up to right now? Is he doing well? He must be in a lot of pain now that everything he ever knew and loved is gone. How does he pass his days, Discord? How does he survive?”
Discord's eyes contracted. This was certainly a surprise for him. While in hindsight (hindsight was always 20-20) he should have expected this from the young stallion, in the past he hadn't at all thought Fear would not only learn about Spike in such detail, but also be curious about him. “What does it matter to a colt like you?” His voice was not cold, angry, nor curt. It was suspcious neither. It just... was. Curious more than anything. Impressed.
Fear's eyes narrowed again, a little deeper, squinting at the sky above. “Hmm... it doesn't I suppose. It's not my business. But it's a hero's duty to meddle where they don't belong and... I suppose I just care, you know?”
Discord sighed. “I know Fear. You are a better creature than me in that way. And also worse. You not only care about the feelings of others, but you also care about how others see you, even if you try not to.” There was a pause. Discord was hiding something about himself.
Fear could identify it with ease. Discord cared about what others thought of him too.
“Hmm... I wish I could just blow you off, tell you it doesn't matter, but I know that will not be satisfying. You are not asking to have some tasty new gossip, and you're not asking in order to tell Luna and quell her concerns. You are asking purely for yourself.” Discord's explanation sounded more contemplative than analytical. Speaking less for Fear's benefit and more for his own. “What would you do if I refused to say? Would you look into the Seer's Eye?”
Fear shook his head. “Nah. While I'm sorely tempted to make sure he's okay, I'm sure that if you're not going to tell me yourself then you have your reasons. He must not want to be spied on. That or he needs his privacy. I trust you Discord. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I don't have to be able to sense your soul fully anymore to know you're not everything people said you are nowadays.”
Discord swallowed silently, eyes glossing over. “Is that so...?” He whispered. “You know Fear, there was a time where I did not care who I inconvenienced in order to make things fun and entertaining. I didn't realize that it... technically hurt others. I just wanted them to see things my way. I guess you are right, I was childish back then. Thinking less about others, and more about my own whims.”
Fear interrupted before Discord could continue. “We all go through phases like that Discord. We all have moments where our own desires trump the desires of others. It's not... bad really. It just is. That's what I've learned. It's what I try to tell myself. We make mistakes, we try to atone. We try to control ourselves, but we can't stop everything. It even comes out as, well, some withdraw from their loved ones during depression, or focus on drugs, sex, gambling. Et cetera. I've been thinking ever since I died again and I've realized that our failures are part of life. I hate it, but it is. There are going to be many times I fail in life, I just hope I don't mess up at an integral moment.” A sigh escaped his lips. “You're not bad, Discord, just a little selfish and misguided. You truly want to help the world nowadays, because even you see it's Tartarus incarnate.”
Discord laughed. He knew that once Fear actually accepted failure as a positive learning moment, as less a requirement of life and more a beautiful facet of nature, he'd grow more powerful than ever before. “Hmhmhmhm, you know Fear, Tartarus is not actually all that bad. It was merely a prison. There wasn't even torture. It was only full of cells. I'm sure in some other reality it was worse, but... in this one. In ours. It wasn't overly terrible. I'd say Pinkie Pie's re-education centers were far worse.”
Fear squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to hear shit talk about the Ministry Mares. They did their best, and they were Luna's friends. But Fear could hear the emotion in Discord's voice – feel it. There was more to that comment than he was letting on. That was just Discord. “It hurt a lot didn't it? Learning what they did. How things went downhill.”
The draconequus nodded. “Yes, Fear. It hurt a lot. I read logs, viewed memory orbs, integrated with systems temporarily. Studied up. When I was finally released I may have been weak but I could go anywhere with a little flick of the wrist. I learned much. And I realized that I'd spent all my life focusing on my own desires that I never stopped to realize that... if I didn't protect what already was, I'd never again be able to have my own life. A world of chaos. I may be trying to heal the wasteland for my own reasons but... hm.” Discord was silent for a few moments. Fear stayed reticent too. “I suppose once all is said and done I can let you all live in peace for a tiny bit. It's not like life's going to go back to how it used to be for a long time.” He rolled over to face Fear, eyes glazed. “You're the kind of pony I wished I had around me centuries ago, Fear. But I suppose I had to grow up in order to realize that. I may not be as wild and crazy nowadays, but I still have my own home in a realm of chaos. A world beyond understanding. And because I've seen things that I never expected the ponies I used to play with capable of, I do not necessarily wish to bring every single ounce of that realm into here.”
Fear glanced to the side at his current companion.
“Fear,” Discord started, “there have been many times I have considered just hiding away in my little realm instead of bothering with you reckless, terrible ponies here. But I realize if I don't do something now, there's not going to be anything for me to continue having fun with. While I was in the statue, my body being used for war, I realized that all I really wanted was a friend to play with, a friend to understand me and accept me as I was. That was the only reason I didn't keep to myself in my own realm. Because playing with others was far better than playing with copies of myself.” He returned to laying on his back. “Copies of yourself are the perfect representation of order. That book your friend read. Friendship is Discord. Was right.” Discord's voice was a little stuttery. “Harmonizing with those who are different than you is the purest form of chaos and order coming together in balance. Which is how life should be. I want chaos and I want harmonic discord. That is what I want in life, what I always wanted. And I'm thankful to you for welcoming me into your world, even if that was not your intent.”
“Discord...” Fear murmured. “It's alright. We're going to get through this. We're all hurting. But together we are capable of anything. It's friendship that's going to heal the wasteland.”
Discord chuckled. “You have no idea how right you are, Fear.”
Fear knew Discord knew something he wasn't letting on. “You're not ready to tell me what Spike has been up to, are you?” There was a tone of resignation to his voice.
“No, Fear,” Discord uttered. “I'm not. There will come a time when you will be filled in. When it'll be your time to help the wasteland purely and truly. But until then you have bigger things you must focus on. Just be yourself and have faith. Even in the midst of your failure, that does not make you a terrible pony, as you've learned. It just makes you a creature like everyone else.” He confirmed what Fear already felt in his heart nowadays. “Keep pushing, and keep everyone close to you.” He paused. “And if it wouldn't cause you too much trouble, keep me close to your heart as well.”
Fear grinned. “I assume this doesn't mean you're going to help me with everything you got, right?” He lidded his eyes and teased the draconequus.
“Nope!” Discord sounded chipper. “You got to get through this on your own, relatively. This is your journey Fear, and too much interference will take that away from you. You have all the help you're going to need right by your side. You don't need the help of gods or demi-gods so long as you're not intentionally messing up.” He reached over and ruffled his mane. “Now I have to go. It was nice bantering with you. You took a lot off my chest. I guess this little visit turned out to be about both of us.”
“Take care of yourself Discord,” Fear replied with rustled hair, smiling calmly. “Thanks for your help. Love ya.”
Discord grinned. “First time anyone's told me they love me, even platonically. You're one of a kind Fear. Don't let the world change your heart ever again. The ponies back years ago who needed Hearth's Warming Eve to be kind to each other could have used somepony like you.”
And with that Discord hopped into the air, spiraled inward, and popped off to who knew where.
Fear was left with his own thoughts, taking a break from his training.
While his chat was a pleasure all in all - very fulfilling - it wasn't the kind of thing he could talk about with others, which was a shame. But he'd realized something else he could do to take his mind off of training. He wasn't sure it was such a good idea, but it was still something.
Gazing through the Seer's Eye with Freiya as a conduit. It wasn't about seeing his mother alive again, or seeing a “better” life for himself per se. It was more just for the feeling of something new, something different from the wasteland. Enjoying the sensation of what ifs and what could be. Learning more about himself and the past.
Which is why he'd called Freiya to the dreambubble. It was technically safer here too, after all.
“Hey Grandma, how are ya?” Fear reached up to the somewhat tall mare and wrapped his forelegs around her neck, giving a little squeeze.
Freiya couldn't actually feel a real sensation of it, but she could sense the affection laced in it, and feel a phantom of the hug. “It's good to see you again Fear. I hear you've been busy. As for me... I've been well I suppose. Just taking care of the stable. The next overstallion is just about ready to step up, and I'm already prepared to step down. You remember Jaime right?” A weary softness permeated Freiya's voice.
“Hmm... yeah. The pony who always dreamed of making jam right? Why'd you choose him?”
Freiya grinned. “Well Fear, he has a strong will, and while he's always been a little... distracted. He's one of our smartest stable dwellers, good at planning, and always puts the well-being of his home before his own interests. He also doesn't seek power, as evidenced by his initial unwillingness. If there are any problems it is just his fondness for history, but I've been tutoring him close on the use of the Seer's Eye, getting some of his own needs out of his system.” Freiya looked up, breathing in deep through her snout. “It's going well.”
Fear twisted a hoof in the air and shrugged a shoulder. “Well, as long as things are going good.” A pause. “Are you ready to bring me into the pendant again, Grandma?”
Freiya smiled down at Fear, nuzzling into his collarbone. “I am indeed. Princess Luna explained the situation to me. You've been a busy colt as of late. I'm more than willing to give you a break. Based on what you told me you wanted to look into, I think it'll even be healthy and educational for you.”
“Perfect. So let's get going!” Fear latched onto Freiya again and waited for her to whisk their consciousnesses away through the Seer's Eye.
Fear made idle talk as they zoomed across the void between time. It didn't look nearly as horrifying as when Fear had gone after Breiker. There were no more ripped holes in space with images that closely approximated the physical incarnation of distorted agonized screams. Probably because reality as they knew it wasn't being torn apart anymore. Now all that remained were the beautiful network of spectral and silver gossamer threads that stretched across the entire expanse of existence. It reminded Fear of a stream of life, or maybe what he'd seen of tree roots, though going in reverse. Starting out thin and casually widening as they spread further out, sometimes deviating. They curled, wobbled.
Occasionally, as Fear spoke, he saw the Dirge and other creatures of the Exoverse doing their own things. Geometer's first created shapes. It was a wonder.
“So you think Jaime might learn a new way to achieve his dream of making jam through the Seer's Eye? I mean you can see all sorts of potential inventions and even come up with new ones through that. All that's stopping you is materials.”
Freiya murmured. “That and Minuette. She keeps a careful eye on the potential changes and new timelines that can be generated. I don't think he's going to go through with it. Like I said he has no desire for power, he's very responsible. He knows the Seer's Eye is a sacred thing, used for protection and sustenance, used for the good of the Stable, not for his own needs.” Freiya was silent for a second. “However I might help him find one possible iteration where he was able to make some jam so he can live vicariously like you sometimes did.”
Fear smiled. “You know it's really not that bad to live through someone else. If you can't achieve your dreams in real life sometimes you gotta take a break from the hopelessness and escape. It always left me feeling refreshed and better able to go about my job and doing what little I could.”
“True words. Wise words.” Freiya shot across the boundless, eternal Exoverse seeking out the proper timeline with none other than her focus and will, with Fear hanging on her back as space gnarled around them from the pseudo-speed they harnessed. Really, space moved around them, rather than them moving through it. It was strange, Fear thought, not feeling any wind pressure pushing him back. Feeling a lack of momentum, and a lack of resistance. Those things didn't exist here. It was a place of thought, and the only barriers were those of your psyche.
As the two of them shot forth, down toward a specific glittering thread of time, Fear threw a hoof above him and whooped.
“Remember Fear, try not to interfere.”
“Huh?” Fear was confused for a second. “Oh right, that.”
“Yeah, that.” Freiya's lips twitched upward. “You don't want Minuette to get involved again do you? Still, she was right. You're one of the only ponies who've used the pendant, that I know about, that have tried to influence timelines not your own.”
Fear scoffed. “Minnie definitely wasn't pissed, she was just putting on a facade. She loves me. I can tell.”
Freiya laughed. “She loves A you. Though I suppose in reality there is little difference.”
And with that they plunged into the silver thread, entering a reality as ghosts of another world.
“I must admit,” Freiya confessed, “it surprised me you wanted to learn about my husband. Not that I'm against it mind you. I'm just curious what spurred the decision?”
As Fear and Freiya stood together in one of the residential rooms of the stable, a tiny, less than furnished slate gray cross between industry and science, he spoke. “I wanted to know my roots. Luna's mentioned that it's important to know your past. What you're fighting to overcome, and what you have the potential to become. That victory comes from awareness. So I wanted to be aware of the struggles leading up to what made me.”
“Well,” Freiya replied, “be prepared for some rather sad scenes in that case, Fearei.”
As Freiya finished speaking, a young Silver Speech barged into the room. A young colt with indigo mane, glittering golden eyes like a pile of treasure, and a beautiful, trimmed silver coat. “Ugh! Why do they always do this? I can't wait to get out of here and into the wasteland!” The colt huffed and threw himself onto his bed, slamming a hoof into the pillow.
Fear then heard drunk rambling, and a little yelling, coming from the room behind them. “I wanted to see struggle but I didn't expect something quite so explicit.”
Freiya shushed him as the yelling became perceptible.
“You're always like this Evvv, Evan! Always protecting him from the world, from evvvveryone who tries to hurt him! He's never going to grow up at this rate!” The speech was slurred.
“Well exxx - excuse me for trying to keep him from going down the same road as u-ussss Eph-ppphhemera! I don't want our son to be a useless sack of shit all day because he can't deal with his own problems lllike us!” The screaming was getting louder, and it was a little difficult to understand without contemplating the words. The stallion's voice seemed a little more sober than the mare's.
“Ev-an-es-cent!” The mare known as Ephemera growled out. “You coddle that boy like nothing else.” There was a moment of silence as the mare took a swig of something rather potent. “He's a weakling and he'll never achieve anything on his own! He's going to be useless to the Stable just like you always were!” There was the sound of hoof on flesh.
Then the sounds of a strained scuffle. “You talk about useless!? All you do is drink all day, gossiping with other mares! Your cutiemark might as well have been transience! Fuck off you stupid bitch!”
Fear cringed inward. “Wow. Not a brilliant home life huh? How did the Stable let this keep up? Also I don't suppose their fight is going to end in make-up sex is it?”
Silver groaned outward, covering his head with his pillow to drown out the sounds of his parents screaming and fighting. Hitting each other with hooves.
“Father convinced mother that it'd be worse to set a precedent of kicking somepony out or killing them, than it would be to let them stay and do what little they could do. They earned their keep, even if they traumatized others. And no, Fear, I'm sorry but it never ended in make-up sex. My husband's parents always felt unsatisfied with life more often than not. Constantly fighting. The depressive contents of their alcohol only made it worse. Their dreams were far from attainable and the wasteland made them feel even worse. Always felt like they were born in the wrong time. Nostalgic for a place they'd never been.” Freiya stared at her ex-husband with a sorrowful gaze and sighed. “Silver had me as a friend but I was never enough. He ended up leaving to become a scavver early on, using his talent for bartering.”
Fear hummed. “Yeah, but what about their parents? There was a happy ending right?”
Freiya gazed at Fear sullenly. “There are rarely ever happy endings in our lives, Fear. We just do what we can to pick up the pieces and make the most of it. Ephemeral Mentae died from alcohol poisoning. Evanescent was distraught over his son not being around, his own incapability, and everything else. He ended up over drinking and drowning in his own vomit.”
The young stallion nearly laughed. “That sounds way too dark to be true. ...Right?”
Freiya teared up a bit. “Life is dark, Fearei. If it helps you feel any better, Silver only had love for his father, and even that wasn't much. While he missed him sometimes, his usual feelings were one of 'good riddance' as he'd said upon coming home and learning of it.”
Fear narrowed his eyes. “That's not how he really felt though, right?”
“Not exactly. I could see it in him. He was pained. He was never going to have the proper relationship with his parents that most other colts and fillies his age did. His father, Evan, coddled him, but it was clear it'd never be enough. He promised to be a better parent to Storm and was heartbroken when she left.”
Fear's eyes widened. “He didn't die of a broken heart did he?”
Freiya shook her head. “No. Not exactly. Took some years. I think he actually died about the same time your mother did. I think he felt it in his heart that he was never going to see her again, and felt like he'd failed her as a parent.” She turned to face Fear as the screaming behind them continued. “This is one of your roots Fear. Are you ready to move on to more?”
With a nod, Fear confirmed. “Yes. It's difficult and sad but I gotta do it. Let's look at some of Silver's time in the wastes. He must've felt at least a little better out there away from it all.”
Freiya swept them up and off they were again. “Yes, Fear. He was moderately happier. But he missed me most of all during that time. He tried to write songs using his talent that we could sing together the times he came home. He stole my heart with his considerate nature.”
Fear and Freiya next alighted on a rock in the middle of the wasteland. Fear wasn't sure where it was, because he didn't recognize this dead foresty area at all. He did recognize the somewhat older Silver though, who looked like he could really use a pair of glasses with the way he was squinting at the notebook in his hooves. He had a chipped ear and a collection of bottlecaps for a cutiemark. His usage of sticky hooves was rather top notch, Fear noticed, from looking at his hoofwriting. He also had a set of freckles on his nose, and a diminutive size similar to Fear himself.
“Huh. Apparently I get my height problems from both sides of my family.”
Freiya nodded. “Indeed. Seems it runs clean through your genetics.”
“Must admit,” Fear continued. “He's really filled out. Quite the bulky earth pony. Why doesn't he carry any weapons with him?”
Freiya smirked. “He was incredibly stealthy and good at taking out any threats before they could find him. I was never sure how he did it. Talked his way out of nearly every situation aside from that. Storm got the majority of her charisma from him.”
Fear 'huh'ed as he watched Silver smile and scribble down some more lyrics and notes. Apparently I get a lot of the same traits from both sides of my family. Strange.
A voice came up from behind Silver, causing him to look up and flick his damaged ear. “Silva, I got the wood. You doing alright?” Fear found a hint of false curiosity in that question, less because the mare who was coming over didn't care, and more because the mare already knew the answer to that. Fear looked up to see her, noticing a pitch black unicorn with emo punk green and yellow mane and tail. Her eyes looked like a starfield on an onyx slate though, rather beautiful. He... thought he saw something else, as the mare licked her lips. But he couldn't place why it was important. The mare radiated a sickly green energy from her eyes, but it felt more like an imagined daydream than something real.
Silver spun around and grinned, watching his friend carry a pile of wood in a bubbly green chromatic ether as though it were carbonated. “Oh. Yotta. Welcome back. Yeah I guess I'm doing well. Just thinking about the past is all.” He turned back to continue his writing. “You know, as impossible as you sometimes are to deal with, I'm glad you're in my life out here. You're a good friend.”
Yotta simpered casually, a sort of faux ferocity to her that was not lost on Fear. She dropped the wood in the middle of a group of rocks and lit it up with a casual fire spell from the tip of her horn. “Why thank you, Silva. Though I must admit you certainly don't seem to feel that way whenever I'm getting us shot at by raiders.”
“Hahaha.” Silver's face was screwed up in mirth. “Very fair, but you and I always manage to get out of trouble anyway. I just wish you'd tell me a little about yourself. You're always so secretive. What was growing up like?”
Fear tuned them both out for a second. “Freiya, I think she is an umbran. Or at least an umbran inside somepony else's body. I'm... not sure.” Now that Fear thought about it... “I feel a second presence inside of her, but it's sleeping. It's like one side of her has her eyes closed, and the other side is wide awake. Like someone who's both in a coma and walking around awake at the same time.”
Freiya 'huh'ed. “Well it's not like it's that big a deal. I've watched how my husband interacted with her on a few occasions with his permission. They always seemed like really good friends.”
Fear hummed. “I think she's been siphoning some of his despair.”
“Well it would explain why he said she always made him feel happier just being around her. I always thought she was just somepony Silver was enticed by, but never did anything with.”
Fear turned to face Freiya as the two kept talking. “Never did anything with her? Not even tempted?”
Freiya shook her head. “Silver told me, and the scrying confirmed, that Yotta never even made any moves on him. She was apparently satisfied just being around him all the time.”
Fear focused on the conversation between the two again.
“Sorry for prying Yotta. I guess if you don't want to tell me then you don't want to tell me.”
“It's fine Silva, I understand the curiosity. I just don't want to get that attached.”
That's a lie. Fear thought. Yotta, you're extremely attached to him. Just not in the same way Silver and Freiya are attached. He continued ruminating on this while listening to them, rubbing his chin with a hoof absently.
“I'm gonna be heading back to Stable 47 here really soon. Do you want to join me? It'd be nice to have a good friend around me. I want to invite you to my wedding too. Freiya and I are getting hitched.” He stomped a hoof on the ground in excitement.
Yotta shook her head. “No thank you, Silva. I appreciate the gesture, you're very kind. But I have to get back to my own home soon too. You've opened my eyes to a few things. It's surprising you'd request my presence given how much trouble I cause.”
Silver shrugged. “Anything for a friend. Besides, you know how to make it worthwhile, and you're always guarding me so... why shouldn't I offer?”
“You're a good stallion Silver Speech. Please never change your heart.”
Freiya smiled at the exchange. “Silver was much like you are sometimes, Fear. While he wasn't intimate with a lot of ponies because he felt uncomfortable and scared, like he'd become his parents, he was a very kind heart.”
Fear nodded. “I can see that.” Huh. I guess not all Umbrans are terrible creatures of destruction. She's definitely an umbran right? I almost feel bad we have to seal them away again. “Anyways, we should move on to the next moment in his life. Maybe something happier.”
“How about our wedding day? I can introduce you to my parents while we're at it.” Freiya sounded keen on sharing.
“Sure thing. But I get the feeling there's a different reason why you want to show me this.”
“Perceptive as ever. Yes. I want you to know exactly what my parents were like.” And with that the two of them zapped away, but not before Yotta spared their phantoms a glance, sniffing at the air.
Fear was curious. Did she just look at us? But I didn't try to interfere this time. As they zoomed across the Exoverse, Fear questioned Freiya. “Grandma. You said those who wield the Seer's Eye can sometimes feel the presence of others using it around them right?”
Freiya nodded as she held Fear close to her breast. “Right. Why?”
The young stallion shrugged. “I don't know. Just trying to figure out why Yotta might've been able to look directly at us for a second before we left.”
The songstress thought about it for a bit. “Well I mean. There are always magical traces left in a reality after a scry. Umbrans are sensitive to magic. Maybe she sensed us?”
Fear was still contemplating the significance of Yotta as they came to the next vision. Normally the Seer's Eye did not show him things that were not somehow important to him or his growth. At least unless he was willingly seeking out a specific instance. It tended to have a mind of its own, kind of like how the Crystal Heart showed you a specific instance of your default destiny. He couldn't dwell on it for too long however because they were suddenly in a room with two ponies. It was a strange room that reminded him of a tool shed. They must've been in Stable 47, near the garden, whatever it was that this place grew – probably apples. One was a mare with crimson mane and tail, rather short and curt, curled up at the ends, charcoal coat, and golden eyes. The other was a stallion with a nickel blue mane and tail, rather curly, a slate gray coat, and emerald eyes that reminded Fear of currency. Their cutie marks were a crown/meter stick combo and pile of old coins respectively.
“Ugh,” the stallion began. “I do not see why our daughter saw fit to marry this riffraff. He's far below her standing as the next overmare.” Fear noted that these two seemed awfully stuffy and traditional. Their souls spoke of such qualities, and so did their demeanor.
“You said it, Nick. I really don't think this is a good idea. We've tried everything to split them apart when they were young but they still keep finding each other when we least expect it. Freiya never listens to us except when she can use us.”
“Indeed, Reign.” The stallion hummed, looking off to the side. “The problems of living cooped up inside a tiny Stable. If this were the past we could have forbidden them from ever seeing each other again. Then we wouldn't have to deal with his ilk. It was bad enough his alcoholic parents tainted the well-being of our glorious home.”
Ruler 'Reign' Snap rolled her eyes in a wide arch. “I told you we should have gotten rid of them. But it's fine now. They're dead and we have a slightly competent scavver to show for it. We did the right thing.”
Nickel Dust finished her thought. “Now if only we could do the right thing here and now and save our daughter from this encroaching menace. He's not good for her, I tell you that much. He's going to just leave or turn out like his parents. All foals do.”
Reign thought about it. “If only there were a way we could stop this without... utterly underhoofed means.” She rubbed her chin with a hoof, glancing to the side. “It'd be an easy matter to send that ghastly Silver on an 'important mission.” She punctuated the thought with air quotes and a heady sneer.
“I like the way you think. We may not be able to get rid of him permanently but such an idea will not only provide for the Stable, but keep him away from our baby daughter.” Nick's smile grew further and further. “It is a shame we have already bestowed the Seer's Eye onto sweet Freiya. How will we get her to give it up for one last scry?”
As Nick and Reign conversed about trying to eventually get Silver killed out in the wasteland, and how to get the Seer's Eye from Freiya, Fear spoke. “Wow Grandma, those two are really conniving. Were they like that your entire life?”
Freiya sighed, narrowing her eyes. “Yes Fear. They were always horrible. They had the best interests of the stable in mind but they were blinded by their biases. I try not to hold it against them, but oof. My dear Silver always had our entire small world against him. Everyone else accepted our marriage eventually but my two parents never did.”
“What'd you do about it?” Fear queried.
“Just wait and see. I made them die mad about it.” There was a tense, wry and reluctant grin splitting one side of Freiya's face as she gazed unamusedly at her two parents who had long since died.
“Yes, Nick, this seems perfect. We'll just give her the opportunity to be a songstress for a few years and use that time to-” Reign was cut off by the door to the storage room slamming open.
In charged an angry, much younger Freiya dressed up in an old yet well-preserved wedding gown, clearly used for many weddings, and carefully resized time and again. “You two! What are you thinking!?”
The two parents jumped backwards, eyes widening, Reign's hoof coming up to her chest and Nick taking a step forward. “Fray, what are you doing here?” Reign demanded.
Nick growled out. “Were you listening at the door?”
“You're damn right I listened!” Freiya's voice was majestic and melodic even when she was pissed, there was a resonating power in it that rumbled like an earthquake, or a glass trembling as it threatened to shatter. “I know better than to leave you two alone to your plotting! I know you've been unhappy about this from the start.” Freiya's hips sashayed as she stomped up to her parents, the little headdress in her mane veiling a bit of the fury in her face. “Well I got news for both of you! This is where it ends! I'm leaving you two to rot and I don't care what anyone thinks of it! If anyone asks I'll declare it to be treasonous behavior to the new overmare. I will not have you sabotaging me every step of the way, using your power to get what you want! I've been building up recordings of the both of you and I will not have you two 'taking care of me' any longer!” She jabbed a hoof into Nick's chest. “You, father, are cruel and merciless. Completely heartless. All you care about is the prosperity of the whole that you do not give a damn about the individual!”
Reign pushed her way in. “That's unfair! You cannot take care of every single pony no matter how strong you are. Sometimes sacrifices must be made! Listen to us!”
“No mother!” Freiya snapped her head from side to side. “You listen to me!” She stood right in front of Reign and glared down at her. “I've had enough of your treachery, might makes right, and your sense of the greater good. I will be a better scryer than you could ever be, and Silver will be with me every step of the way. Together we will do more than you two ever could.” The stress and heartache was clear in Freiya's voice, in how her body trembled in righteous fury, anxiety, and uncertainty. “Silver gives me the strength to be the best me I can be, and I'm not going to let you take that away from me. It's my time to shine now, and if you don't like that you. Can. Leave.” The rage in Freiya's gaze was as beautiful as her voice in that one moment. Her ferocity was gorgeous.
Fear realized in that moment, that he found others the most attractive when they were standing up for love.
The two were rendered speechless as Freiya stormed out of the storage room, using her telekinesis to slam the door.
As the image dissipated Fear whistled. “You certainly showed them. Did they end up leaving?”
Freiya tried to repress her growing smile. “No. I just... took care of them the way they used to take care of me, from then on,” she sang and gave Fear a wink. “There was nothing they could do about it unless they wanted some of their private words being discussed.”
Fear was 'wow'ed. “How'd you get that dirt on them?”
“Hee hee,” Freiya giggled. “Storm may have been good, and I mean good at hacking. But she had to learn it from somepony didn't she?”
Fear barked laughter. “Weren't you afraid Mom would do something similar?”
Freiya pet through the young stallion's mane. “I wanted her to be glorious, Fear. I wasn't going to let a little anxiety stop me. Silver helped me through it. We both wanted to be better parents than ours.”
A dull drum hum escaped Fear's lips. “I feel really bad for Grandpa. He must've been so... torn when Mom left the stable.”
Freiya sighed. “Oh honey, yes. But you've seen the afterlife for yourself. I'm sure they settled their peace with each other when they died. You told me you got to see her after all.”
Fear couldn't help but grin. “Y-yeah I suppose. I'm sure he got the closure he was looking for.”
“And you gave me the closure I was looking for, Fear. Your sister and father too, even if I didn't know it at the time,” Freiya responded. “Now. What did you want to see next, again?”
“Right, uhh...” His eyes rolled back, trying to remember. “Right! I wanted to see a glimpse of my Grandpa Jack's parents and Grandma Emulae's time at her hive. I asked their permission if I could scry them beforehand. I also wanted to explore what would've happened if I had been born during the war.”
Freiya swept a hoof out, twirled it, and off they rocketed again. “Sure thing, Fear.” She nuzzled into his mane.
Pep looked like a surfer in this day and age, with suave shaggy hair and tail. Even then he still had the allure of someone in a boyband. Fear was always enticed by his laid back appearance that... apparently he got from his parents.
Sappy Sublime, Jack's mother, was a purple and blue mix of a pony, like one giant bruise or a dusk sky, but with sap-colored orange eyes that glimmered and stuck out like globules of honey or glue. It was really strange, but it gave her an alluring, sunny disposition. Her eyelashes were also elongated and flirty, glinting like black gossamer. Her cutiemark looked like a gelatin pill. Jack had told Fear that she made drugs so it made sense.
Dreamcaster on the other hand, was a very handsome but also rather shaggy unicorn. With messy, pumpkin orange mane and tail with some curls that reminded Fear of himself, but far longer and less twisted. His coat was a deep, luscious timber green that radiated peace and love. He had a peace sign for a cutiemark surrounded by a full overcast of sleepy-looking clouds. What surprised Fear though was that his irises were colored a fanciful gold. Neither of Jack's parents had indigo eyes! Was he adopted?
No, Fear was pretty sure that wasn't the case. Kids weren't always perfect replicas of their parents. Sometimes traits skipped a generation.
Still, huh. Voices were permeating into existence around him as Freiya and him stood in the dilapidated home Jack had once lived in with his parents deep in the heart of Maneami, a small apartment complex that was far out of the way of the street for protection's sake.
“Honey, we're just a little worried, you know? We want you to stay with us, here, where it's safe. We know you well, you probably won't be back to visit once you're gone.” Sappy's voice was full of sugar. Definitely not saccharine, but actual sugar. Yet there was a manipulative edge to it that clearly wasn't lost on Pep.
“Castor, Lime.” Fear was surprised to hear Pep using a version of his parents' real name, his eyes widening a bit in shock. Were kids allowed to do that? Jack had never mentioned... “I know that's not true. You'll be watching over me at all times. I know Castor checks on me in his dreams now and then.” Jack shot them a smile and shook his head. “I've lived with you two long enough to know that while you mean well, you tend to manipulate me. I'm ready to go out on my own, carve out my own path. Trust my own instincts. It'll be fine, I promise.” Jack leaned in and wrapped both his parents, one more silent than the other, in a big hug. “I'll miss you both. It's time for you to stop being such overbearing parents and let me do this.” He pulled away and gave them a wink, holding a potted plant that hadn't grown much on his back.
Castor lit up his horn, though it sparked a few times first, before lighting up completely, similar to how someone would clear their throat. Immediately a sparkling trail flew through the air, writing out alien letters and pictures. <Correct, son. We miss you too. I be around, make sure you take care of self.> He smiled and gave Jack a kiss on the forehead.
Fear 'huh'ed. “Not exactly what I expected. I guess I was hoping for something a little more... in depth? Of their life together?”
Freiya grinned. “What, you don't think that's enlightening enough? We just got everything we really needed out of one scry.”
The young stallion shrugged. “I don't know. I guess I was just hoping for... more entertainment rather than something so... benign as a goodbye.”
Freiya chortled. “Enlightenment's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows Fear. Besides, that was clearly an important memory for Jack. A Jack. Jacks.”
“What?” Fear was confused. “How do you know?”
“I'm a good scryer, Fear. I know how to get the Seer's Eye to do what I want, and usually what I try to do is get it to mirror the minds of creatures I'm exploring, in order to find out what makes them tick the most. We can look through more important moments involving your grandpa if you want.”
Fear shook his head. “Nah. We don't have time. We have other things to get to. And you're right, I learned all I needed to from that.” There was some hesitance to his voice. “Let's go see, specifically, the moment Grandma Emulae left the Viola hive. I get the feeling that's going to shed some light both on Viola and Grandma.”
“You have the talent to be a great scryer too, Fear.” Freiya was impressed.
Gentler had told Fear recently that everything was in everything, and that was how certain magical phenomena were possible. But that didn't mean it wasn't still a surprise when Fear was dropped into the home of the Viola Hive. It was in a multitude of caverns built within an old mountain, but that wasn't the surprising part. As Fear looked above him there was a hole in the center, in the top, like a volcano would have. The place was huge and deep. Looking down the hole in the center leading further in was covered by meshing threads of sticky, green and violet, pollen-y looking resin that also draped over the walls akin to curtains or ribbons, with the base beneath, the rock covered in rubbery, inky-black chitin, dense as could be.
By far not the most shocking facet though.
The entire throne room Fear had been deposited in was covered in an ethereal blue glow, like crackling power. Occasionally Fear could see jagged strands of electricity, white and purple, leap across rocks made of magnetic metals strewn across the ground. Fear had never asked Sim exactly what Viola's hive was like, just knowing that it was somewhere in the sea of clouds, a place where weather phenomena congregated to make an eternal cloud cover in a very remote, select location. It constantly rained in this area, but never flooded.
Fear realized now that he was in a thunder volcano, if such a thing could exist. There were probably far more affects of the constant lightning streaming everywhere down below, because he could occasionally hear the loud bang and crack of thunder cleaving through the air at lightspeeds, breaking the sound barrier. It was natural protection against invaders for one thing, but also dangerous if you didn't know how to transform yourself keenly.
Which Viola's hive could do, Fear noted. They were able to do it to the point of camouflaging themselves to invisibility, so of course they could live in an environment like this. They might not've been strong, but they were far from weak. The young stallion wondered if a pegasus could become a master of nature if they meditated in a place like this.
As Fear was contemplating, a door behind Freiya, who was as dumbstruck as Fear, dilated open in the chitinous wall. Seemed it was just like every other hive, where the hivestone reacted to the changeling magic of its dwellers.
Viola herself sat on her throne room, her carapace glistening in the constant lightshow surrounding her. She was fully invulnerable to the expulsion of gas, the move of electrons. It hardly even phased her. If anything it gave the flowery, moth-like queen a feeling of vivid power roaring inside of her. Especially as her eyes seemed to glow in the almost rainbow of colors.
As the queen saw her guest come through the door, she smiled, puffed out her chest, and rose up to her full height. “Emulae, my dear,” she purred, “what brings you to my domain today? I did not request your presence on the hive mind.” There was a burrowing affection laced in her bitonal words. Sweet, sugary, sticky and thick like nectar. Caring though almost saccharine. Powerful. The voice of a queen of reproduction and infiltration.
Emulae's eyes glimmered, a smile permeating her face as she stood in the center of the room, on top of the sticky resin covering the hole leading further downward, and bowed to her queen, buzzing her wings behind her in a show of excitement and unique deference. “That is... the thing my queen. I came to speak with you about you, me, our future together. I've been your confidant for many years.”
Viola leaned forward, narrowing her eyes. “But...?”
“But.” Emulae began again. “It is time for me to stop being scared of the outside world, of the wasteland. Instead of feeding from it in the shadows I would like to... live within it. Culture and nurture it. Find out how to heal it, if possible.”
Viola could hear the gentle care in Emulae's voice, feel it in her wavelength. The queen buzzed and chittered for a moment in obvious discomfort. The hive had seen a time of great prosperity as of late, in large part due to their tandem efforts and wisdom. Emulae had been special ever since being a nymph. Aside from the princess of the hive, Convalesce, the queen had taken special care to care for this one. For Emulae. She was... angry. Fear could feel it even though he did not know why she was. Viola found it strange that Emulae would throw everything away for the sake of a worthless mission that might not even bear fruit, but she was nothing if not graceful. After letting out a low sigh, deciding to entertain this nonsense, she asked the one question the confidant was prepared to answer. “Why? Why would you go out there where you will most likely be killed without the aid of our hive?”
Emulae's heart leaped into her throat, and she stood her ground, still bowed. “Because, my queen. While things appear stable right now, we have been seeing reports from scouts that not everything is as it should be. New factions have been rising to power. Chaos has started. Creatures have been awakening. And based on hivemind experience I have realized that moments in time like these come now and then, and something must be done about it.”
“And what do you expect to do on your own?” Viola queried with a lifted eyebrow.
“I'm not sure. As one changeling, not even the strongest in our hive, neither warrior nor noble, I cannot effectively say what I will be able to do. Maybe all I am meant to do is gather intelligence on these rising factions. I am your confidant first and foremost, and while I know you keep a heavy control over the hive with your will, I am asking you to give me a chance to infiltrate the... hives of others.” A strange metaphor, though not lost on Viola. “In order to find out how I may be of service to the upcoming trials. And how I may nurture the wasteland like you have nurtured me.”
Viola was defiantly against it. She stood, straightening her gaze and walking forward, pacing in circles around Emulae as she thought on her next words. “Emulae, my dear, I can feel the hesitance in your soul. I understand you are not prepared for this, and I comprehend that your feelings are tumultuous. If I am to let you go, I must have you confidently strike yourself from my command with something more... substantial than your words of idealism. You can understand that from my vantage point, they sound of nonsense. Of ill thought out endeavors that will never lead anywhere. What do you really hope to accomplish? Answer me that, and I will consider leaving you to your own devices, my worthy confidant.” There was a strange hint of care in her voice, as though she both supported Emulae but also refused to support her. Looking for the answer. “What do you really intend to do?”
Emulae's eyes contracted and she pulled herself up to full height, striking off her show of deference, and holding herself with confidence. “I intend to integrate our species with the rest of the wasteland. As these factions rise to power, the ponies that these factions seek to control will need aid, and I intend to help foster peace between our lives. I intend to find ponies who are agreeable to changelings, open to learning, and who wish to see the wasteland prosper once more. I not only strive, but I will succeed in uniting our species, and foster the next generations that will enable us as a whole to fight back against these would be oppressors. I will be the link in a new chain, a new faction, made up of those who wish to see freedom and love.” Emulae paused. “Who wish to see prosperity in all its forms.” She turned to look Viola in the eye. “We have a saying that in changeling history we have never been able to have both agency and paradise, and we have always tried to create the latter.” A smile graced her lips. “I believe that if we work together, our agencies will unite to create paradise. There can be a happy ending to all of this. The rising tides shall not squelch us. We shall endure.”
Viola stared at Emulae, impressed.
“From beginning to end, through every trial we must face, ever onward we persevere, for the glory of the hive, and the unification of all who stand for the source of all love.” Emulae finalized, using an ancient motto from back before the war.
The queen was certainly moved by her speech, her body a little slack and improper. Before she finally realized her position and stood back up. “My dear confidant. I accept your proposition, and I will have you seen as a hero of much courage within the history of our hive. Whereas we have always infiltrated as others in order to survive, I believe you can infiltrate as no one but yourself in order to thrive.” Viola walked back to her throne and sat down with a full body shudder. “You may not be our strongest of body, but you are our strongest of will, and you have all the facets necessary to accomplish your mission.” A beat. “History will remember this moment from now til the end of time. Take care of yourself, my dear nymph.” She closed her eyes, staring down at the ground. “Now leave me. Before I change my mind.”
Emulae nodded, and sent her memories of what had just transpired to the rest of the hive. Chaos ensued. Most wished her well, some called her crazy. Everyone put their faith in her.
Fear could feel the hivemind teeming with life. “Wow. Grandma was pretty influential.”
Freiya nodded. “It seems so Fear. It seems you come from a line of oppressors, rebels, and leaders. Which will you choose to be?”
The young stallion grinned. “Obviously I'm going to be a good friend and take care of everyone. I'm going to fulfill Grandma Emulae's wishes and show the Viola hive that peace and prosperity can come again, and this time we'll endure through the hardest of struggles.” He smacked a hoof against his chest. “We guide each other by listening. There is no one leader.”
“Hmm,” Freiya was impressed. “Well said, Fear. Now. I suppose it is about time we moved onto the what ifs in your mission? I assume you have something specific you'd like to learn from it all? You call this entertainment but I am relatively sure that is not your true goal.”
Fear laughed. “No. It's not. I don't know what I'm trying to learn yet, but I'll know it when I see it. This is important. More important than my indulgence a couple years ago.”
“I can believe it. Now, we should move on.” Freiya wrapped Fear up and whisked him away.
I underutilize the side of myself that comes from the Viola hive. I should really start practicing my invisibility again.
Fear requested Freiya that he be allowed to take over the scrying session from here on out. Through analyzing his grandma's use of the Seer's Eye, and his own past experiences with it, he'd realized that the pendant could read the subconscious of its wielders, show them what they needed to see with a little prodding.
Freiya responded. “Alright. But if you want to make the information transfer swifter for you all you must do is let your consciousness extrude.” Freiya wasn't sure she wanted to be here for these ones. She was happy with her own life and was relatively sure there was nothing she could learn from this.
The young stallion wasn't sure he was going to do that, but he questioned her anyway.
“Essentially you must let your focus waver, kind of like when you're letting your peripherals take importance in your mind. Instead of letting your eyes settle on just one thing, you want it to settle on everything. It'll give you a summary.”
Fear hummed. “Any reason you're telling me this now?”
Freiya nodded. “I want to leave you to your scrying for this one. This is important for you, and I don't need to see what your or my life would've been like during the war. It's too tragic. Especially if I ended up becoming a... ghoul. Or just got trapped inside a stable for the rest of my life when all I ever knew was the glorious outside world under the sun. I just couldn't handle seeing myself like that. I'm sorry Fear.”
A smile graced Fear's lips and he nodded in understanding. “That's fine.” Fear swept his hoof in an arc and spun it around, letting him take control of the 'vehicle.' “I'll be back soon.” And with that Fear left Freiya for the time being to go look up what he needed.
As he drifted along through space, time, and alter, over the expanse of the Exoverse, Fear spoke to the Seer's Eye he swam in. “Alright Seer's Eye. I know you're cognizant to some degree. Let's go see what I would have been like during the war.” Fear let his focus drift like Freiya said, his eyes quivering for a moment as he let the expanse of everything flow into him.
The first thing Fear saw was his parallel's life growing up before the war. Treated as an outcast, strange for his empathy, bullied for his eyes, for not having a father, for his diminutive size. Everything under the sun and moon was used against him by his peers. And his naturally peaceful nature allowed him to endure it, slowly crumbling, never fighting back. All he needed in life was his mother as he lived in Canterlot, going to Elementary and Middle school. He saw and felt how it damaged his mind, giving his alternate self anxiety and depression, affecting it for all of time.
Then Fear watched himself visiting his grandparents in Ponyville, one thing leading to another and all the damage that scourged him coming to a head. His elders called him a coward for not standing up for himself, for not doing anything aside from looking to others for help. His magic was weak, he was weak. And that's what brought his parallel version to the edge of the Everfree Forest.
A place full of unrestrained magic residue that created a world that cared for itself and only itself, a place of tragedy and unresolved issues. Fear watched his tween self dive in headfirst, hoping that if he proved himself here in a test of courage, it would give him the motivation he needed to stand up to his bullies and finally hurt one.
Only it wasn't meant to be. As his family, especially his mother searched high and low for him Fear experienced a near death experience amidst all that raw magic. Close to the cusp of death, and with his hyperempathy already around, it was no surprise he was able to draw on the spirit of his distant ancestor and awaken not only his magic from the trauma at such a young age, but also the ability to see the light of fate. Fear was almost shocked out of his scrying at the ability, focusing on just that one moment.
Little Fear looked around through the forest, woken up with blood streaming down his forehead. While normally the foal of substitute destiny would have fallen into a catatonia once more, his cracked psyche took the brunt of the sudden influx of images and visions, and screamed. An identity built on suffering with only the good moments of his mother shattered and left his kindness convulsing inside of him, his compassion seeping out of him in waves of pink and rainbow.
A Fearshatter spell was initiated, baggage releasing from him, and leaving him exhausted and panting, the area around him rendered ruins. The light show created a beacon to him for his parent and grandparents to find.
Fear watched his counterpart's growth from then on. From his sudden courage, to his unending compassion. Still he was ostracized but everyone around him could feel something... different from him. He was enrolled in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, barely managing to pass the exam with a demonstration of his new talents and how they could be used for the betterment of Equestria. The only time he managed to squeak in really - when his talent was seen as a possibility for manipulation and conquering. His mother Breinstorm met a submissive, ex-royal guard-turned leader of a rock band named Typhoon Tune, fell in love with him, and moved on with her life. Stopped having sex with random ponies from bars, went a little softer on her storage of fancy wines, and had a second foal with her new husband named Wild Gale. And it was around this time the fires of war began. As Alt-Fear realized what he needed to do with his life, even as everyone forsook him except his mother and step-father, he tried to be a good older brother and pass his classes, noticing how trauma was a law of his world no matter how big or small. He knew he could protect his little brother for some time, but eventually his training took a higher step.
Being a seer was terrible, never knowing what to do, if he should do anything, what was his responsibility and what wasn't, why no one else saw the things he did, but he honed his studies of history and geography, of politics and social issues. He consumed anything and everything in order to hopefully put a stop to the war and make a better world for his younger brother. In the meantime his grandparents died of carbon monoxide poisoning, together in their home in Ponyville, and Fear was left with even less family.
The training was intense, and Fear could feel his alternate self's struggle with being a hero for his sake and everyone else's sake. Fear saw a perseverance in himself that he didn't know existed, as his counterpart became an Empath Wizard and a bonafide Seer in order to try and heal the wounds of his environment.
Without healing his own wounds.
Fear's war-time counterpart found that he did not enjoy undergoing trauma because he loved what hurt him, but because he was willing to sacrifice his well-being for those he cared for. His compassion ran deep, to the point of leaving wire-like cracks in his psyche that he could feel every day. It was the only thing that held him together like a fragile glue.
Alt-Fear stood up for everyone else but himself, Fear learned. And it was that failure in life that kept him from realizing his full potential as a guide and advisor. Even as he was used to try and help stymie the war, it did nothing more than prolong it. As Gale became a comedian for the Ministry of Morale, Alt-Fear was contemplating suicide more and more in his hopelessness as everyone refused to have anything to do with him aside from business.
Everyone was afraid of his alternate self. Respected, admired, but feared. Despite being an adorable nerd who loved fiction the most out of everything he absorbed into his mind.
Fear watched as his alternate mother, a long-standing and well-respected (albeit much rumored about) psychology professor at Canterlot University, took up photography again, as his step-father and younger brother put on performances for those at the re-education facilities.
Alt-Fear had seen visions of the world to come, and while he'd not been able to prevent it, he'd been able to slow it down. That futility, that uselessness powered him to take matters into his own hooves. He made one last ditch effort to save his homeland by going to the Caesar himself, a little too late, in order to try and negotiate one on one.
At first he had been well-received, but while staying in his quarters an assassination attempt was made and he'd nearly died. His reluctant defense of himself, finally learning a key lesson in life, had been his and Equestria's undoing. The final step.
The bombs fell.
The scry ended as Fear watched in vivid detail how his alternate self was left to be executed. Wild Gale was vaporized in Manehattan, Storm and Tune corroded on the inside and outside at the same time from Pink Cloud. Visceral deaths. Amelio, the sister he never got to know and never got to be the leader she always dreamed, was turned into a ghoul that would eventually go feral, and Sim died from the cancerous lumps that formed in his body, never achieving anything else with his life aside from siring two failures.
Fear watched with a sense of powerlessness and loneliness at the vivid tragic end he would have likely met had he been born during the war. As if it was impossible to stop with the repertoire he would have had back then. He wasn't ready to return to Freiya though, just musing on his scry.
As his musing came to an end, Fear looked up into the void of the Exoverse and screamed. “Why!? Why do you do this!? Why is everything so useless!? Why can't I just succeed!? What is the point of constantly failing!? I've nearly died twice now, and I nearly eliminated the soul of my half sister! I've done nothing but kill and create tragedy!? Why can't I live a normal life without trauma and suffering? Without being railroaded into a life of sorrow!? Show me! Show me these things are possible. That trauma and tragedy aren't laws of this existence! That life and misery aren't the same!”
Fear's cries went unanswered.
For a time.
As Fear lost his focus once more, trying to call upon any visions that might answer his question, he was brought to a much nicer reality, the one he needed to see in that moment. Both parents, and sister, alive and happy with a little finagling regarding the chains of destiny. His grandparents happy. Making friends when he was older and acting as a freelance agent of emotional change or a movie director, whichever he decided to pursue - his sister, a mayor and noble. As a freelancer he found himself making tiny changes in the lives of individuals, finding more thanks. As a director he ended up siphoning the emotions from those who watched his movies on opening night, and moved the souls of all of Equus. The images flew by him in a blur, searing into his mind. Specific moments that he could not make out with clarity, just understand the gist of. He saw two mares that he grew to love and ending up married, creating a hive with the two of them. A large mare named Vigor Vee Slim who was the daughter of an ex-mafia assassin and on disturbingly good terms with the godfather, and a wine mare named Blackberry "Ambrosia" Bramble. With them he'd had two fillies, Daydream Lullaby and Pinot Noir. He watched this alternate self grow old and weary, wearing a pair of emerald pince-nez glasses, a very successful surgery on his cusp nerve from the constant use, and... well. It was bliss in the end. With just enough struggle to feel healthy.
Fear blinked a few times in shock, jaw hanging open as his eyes focused again. Two lifetimes, gone in the blink of an eye, the second faster than the first. Fear's heart clenched up, palpitating a few times, before he closed his eyes and sighed.
“That's not what I want in life. I don't want all my struggles to be able to be summed up in one single scry. Ease doesn't make things meaningful. Healing from, and dealing with, conflict has given meaning to my life.” A thought occurred to him as synapses went off in his head, bridges connecting. “They say you can rest when you're dead but... that's not what it really means. It's that life's meaning is about experience. Experiencing ourselves, the good and the bad, making the most of our lives. It's not about creating good times necessarily, but about the choices we make. We choose how this all ends. And I want to make my ancestry proud, worth it. I want life to be a culmination of effort by everyone. My alternate selves did everything on their own, but it wasn't... impressive. One failed, one succeeded, but it didn't mean much either way.”
I want to be a hero who earns a normal life. Not one who's hoofed everything on a silver platter.
So many thoughts raged through Fear's mind. But the finale was that he wanted to be incredible, that he wouldn't let his life go to waste, that others would learn from this timeline that he crafted with the help of others. His here and now would be a burning nova that never ended. Life didn't have to be tragic. Life was a tapestry of many different elements and souls, and that's how it always should be.
Fear learned exactly what he needed to, exactly as he expected. It was time to go tell Freiya his epiphany.
Drax beat his wings roughly toward the ground him and his weyr soared over, body wobbling from side to side occasionally before leveling out and gliding through the air at a swift pace. His powerful wings cut apart the atmosphere, his angular head spearing forward like everyone else. Behind him a few of the older dragons carried whelps on their backs or in their arms. Below them a solid expanse of browns, yellows, and grays swept from horizon to horizon in all four directions, tree skeletons littering the ground as little dots, with the earth of Equus appearing like a stagnantly knitted quilt. Still, musty air flitted around each and every dragon as they sliced through. Above them, a cottony field of clouds that could easily be mistaken as the underside of more earth used for farming. Ground and ceiling, like some kind of building, and they were in between. Masters of their own world.
The wind whistled around the group, whelps bored out of their minds if not for the little travel games groups of them occasionally played, games Fear had taught them. Everything from I Spy to word games. The adults preoccupied themselves with listening to the playtime, keeping on the lookout for any unexpected dangers, and learning the layout of their crafted path.
Drax busied himself by thinking about everything that had led to this temporary migration. From the closing in of the Steel Rangers and Enclave, all the way to Fear giving him some information on possible future Steel Ranger patrol routes or envoys. The young stallion had directed him with a variety of landmarks that he'd described in keen detail for him to find. Drax was amazed at how Fear was able to remember so much from his time asleep, as well as how how he got his information. Fear said he'd figured out how to set off his pocket memory spell while sleeping so he could store things he learned each night. It was a strange use of an ordinary spell, but rather clever, he thought.
His thoughts drifted to Fear's speech, to how moved he was. The way the nearby lava glowed on Fear's body, how dark red gunk oozed from his burned eye, the way his legs trembled under him as he spoke, and above all the sheer charismatic presence the young stallion had given off, a presence lying dormant in him until then. How everything seemed to fall away from Drax like a weight had been rammed off his shoulders. He flexed said shoulders and flexed his fingers as his hands rested at his sides. With narrowed eyes, his thoughts turned to Fear's proposition, movies he'd been playing in his mind over and over again since then. Something still didn't sit well with him. It was how friendly he was, compared to Drax who felt like he'd done so much wrong. Making small mistakes that snowballed into something giant. Muscles tensed up as a grumble escaped his throat. He just wasn’t comfortable with himself. His own mind had tried to rebel in such a reckless way, and a stallion nowhere near as old as him had managed the impossible.
That fact repeated in his head over. And over. And over again.
It was almost panic inducing, and it kept Drax from relaxing. Sometimes it surged to a head and the fury plus embarrassment aimed at himself was replaced with sadness and insecurity. He wasn't quite sure how to deal with it.
Well that'd be true... if it wasn't for the conversation he'd had with Garyld, who'd given him ideas on how to care for his mind. He'd told him to learn how to accept the mistake, how to embrace it, and how to realize that mistakes were part of life. That they were beautiful even if others got hurt. Life wasn't about perfection, just trying your best.
But Drax was so far from the best, he couldn't help but ruminate. Maybe another deserved to be the leader more than him? He had the skill, but he didn't have the mindset. He'd proven that.
Garyld had told him he needed to discern the source of why he wasn't okay with failure.
Drax had thought on it for hours, but it was difficult. Less because it wasn't obvious... it was very obvious. It was more because the source of his misery was a root that he didn't want to discard. But if he didn't discard it, he was going to continue feeling miserable.
Garyld informed him that to be the best dragon he could be, he needed to lead by example.
So maybe he should... do away with it?
Drax's source was nothing amazing, nothing important. It was just the fact that he'd grown up constantly being told that failure would lead to death and horrible things for everyone. It had been failure that had killed his parents, and it had been failure that had led the dragons to where they were in this day and age. Just a constant string of failures.
How was Drax supposed to find the beauty in that?
What beauty is in the early end of life? In the suffering of a people? It was a difficult question that he had no answer to. But if he didn't find an answer, he would continue feeling this way and would not be able to lead his people effectively. It was like a blacksmith. There was no room for error because to fail was to make a weapon or armor that would not protect its wielder. It would mean less job opportunities, and less money. Not only would they not be able to take care of their family, but they would not be able to take care of their customers either. Drax felt it all on his mind heavily.
Garyld told him the answer to all of this was something he had to find for himself.
Intense and meaningful words, albeit infuriating.
Drax was broken out of his reverie as his mind's eye, connected to the newly regenerated Alicorsair, alighted on something rather curious. There was a village in the north – they were headed northwest – that appeared to be under attack. He took a few moments to watch the situation from his unique vantage point before holding up a hand and bellowing back to his followers. “Keep going northwest until you get to the edge of the dead forest, then proceed west to the rail tracks. I'll catch up with you there.” And with that Drax flattened his body to make himself more angular, and soared in a rapid descent that gave him more forward momentum, his body screaming across the sky like a jet, though much quieter, wings occasionally beating to give him more driving force. More of a faint whistle.
The camera's eye contracted and zoomed, staring down at the middle of the little village ahead of itself as it did a lot of complex math equations in order to figure out the exact distance between itself and it's new quarry, immediately receiving orders from Drax as it flew through a list of possible interference methods. The parts inside its body whirred and thrummed with mechanical and magical potential, its glossy rainbow surface currently camouflaged like a highly skilled changeling not of the Viola Hive.
Down below was the beginnings of carnage.
Ten raiders(?) armed to the teeth with automatic rifles, secondary firearms, a few with shotguns and a couple with far heavier weaponry or barbed melee weapons, all fortified with sturdy, albeit slipshod spiked, punk-looking armor were currently harassing the living space of more than twenty ponies of varying backgrounds, from ex-raiders all the way to descendents without the money nor means to move to the bigger and safer locales. A couple snipers that were meant to defend the village laid either dead or actively bleeding out on the rooves of the buildings.
One rather terrifying looking raider with sculpted, sharp teeth and glimmering yellow eyes and vile breath was holding another, violently trembling pony up by the chin with a bit of telekinesis. “Tell all your friends to come out. Now! Or we'll go through every house and kill all of you!” The raider swept a pistol out across the village square, firing off a shot with a bang that thunked into a building. Non-penetrative rounds, but still dangerous. He had an SMG slung across his back, a little banged up but in good working condition. “I'll only ask once!”
The innocent pony was crying, reaching his shaking hooves up to his neck and trying to undo the tight magical grip surrounding his neck. His life flashed before his eyes. Everything from growing up with his mother and father in the slums of Friendship City all the way to leaving for pastures where they could be more successful and not have to deal with a government taking taxes without giving them a decent place to live. He couldn't help but think about the daughter he'd adopted, and currently lived with. He struggled even harder against the magic. “Please! I don't want to die! Ohhh Celestia please don't let me die! Someone help me!” The stallion's voice came out in a blubbering panic, his eyes squeezed shut.
“Shut up you stupid little shit!” The raider slammed the butt of the pistol across the sobbing stallion's left eye, cracking the area of the skull with a loud, grisly snap and making it bruise up and bleed immediately. He then cocked the gun and prepped to blow his brains out. “COME OUT NOW AND NONE OF YOU WILL BE EATEN!” It was a lie to get them to come out and leave themselves defenseless. Leave no survivors to warn others. More food and shelter for them.
The stallion's speech came out garbled as he regretted not bathing today. Maybe if he had he would've been able to die clean and pristine. Celestia please, if you save me now I'll bathe every day from now on like it's my last day on Equus, please just don't let me die! It was a little difficult to think straight due to the head trauma, but not impossible.
The village was full of regrets, full of terror. Everything was seeping into the atmosphere and leaving a mark of spiritual residue. Like an imprint in memory foam. First one mare came out, her chest stuttering, her breath failing her, tears in her eyes. A beautiful mare with long, swept mane and tail, looking like the clouds above but far more vibrant and clear.
More colorful ponies followed, slowly but surely, some muted others vivid. One had a pair of homemade false legs, another was missing an eye. Overall a really diverse group of nearly defenseless equines.
Except for one.
The unicorn raider immediately lined up his pistol and shot the equine pulling out a rifle in the leg, sending him collapsing to the ground and bleeding out, splinters of bone inside the muscle.
A loud scream erupted.
“You lot should be lucky I'm lenient.” The raider's voice was gross, like the audible incarnation of someone whose mouth was tainted from constantly chewing tobacco. “All of you to the center of the village, and we'll give you our orders then!” He motioned with his pistol to get them moving.
One of the other equines tried to help the elderly stallion trying to be a hero, aiding him toward the center of the village. All of them congregated.
“Well. That seems to be all of them.” Someone from behind the unicorn stated. “I can't feel anymore of them in my hooves.”
“Gooooood,” the unicorn cooed. “Kill them. Make it painful.” He held up the pistol and gestured to the raiders behind him to get to work, throwing the stallion he'd been threatening to the ground.
The stallion's eyes shrunk and he tried to get back up. “What!? No! We did what you said! Please don't do this!”
The unicorn brought the butt of the gun down between the stallion's eyes, sending him collapsing to the ground. “Patheti-”
Just as the raiders were getting into position and in the middle of the unicorn's word, a beam of concentrated light shot out of the Alicorsair, on a date with the fanged unicorn's skull. It wasn't an instant kill. First the laser burned away the flesh, then the skull, casually drilling through the center before blasting through the brain matter and coming out the other side. Then the laser swept downward, searing him in half. There wasn't time for another word as his body collapsed to the ground.
Silence permeated the village.
One raider 'huh'ed in confusion. Another raider lifted up her spear. Every one of them looked around, conditioned to not panic. A couple took a step back cautiously.
The earth pony stallion took a few moments to put two and two together. Before looking around wildly for whatever had shot their leader. Then making a sudden decision. “Take cover!”
It was at that moment Drax's form appeared on the horizon, careening straight for them.
As the raiders tried to scatter, Drax came in flying.
The earth pony raider who'd tried to give the command was suddenly face to face with a pair of clawed feet pounding into him and sending him flying across the ground, skidding across it and nearly snapping his neck, knocked out for the count.
Drax fell onto all fours, and swiftly lunged at another couple raiders who were attempting to flee – chaos not having yet started – and wrapped their heads in his giant hands before crashing the two skulls together, both unconscious bodies thudding to the ground.
The Alicorsair shot out a web of crystalized water from its turret, wrapping around a trio of raiders, before tightening together and freezing to their bodies in a heap on the ground, leaving them stuck against each other, unable to reach or use their weapons.
As the raiders realized they were being attacked and sought to bring their weapons up to fire, Drax was already off his feet and tearing through the air at another. Seven down, three to go. He wrapped a hand around another raider's barrel, spun, and threw him into another raider a little more distant from him, knocking both off their hooves.
“Dr... dr... dragon!” The raider next to Drax mumbled in terror as he tried to take steps back and flee. Drax merely opened up his mouth.
The raider's life flashed in front of his eyes as he saw a torrenting gout of flame summoned from that maw abruptly washing over him. He shut his eyes and shrieked, cowering away.
Drax's flames were a dull amber and didn't burn. A phenomena Formed solely by elemental magic trapped in a “shell” to allow it to exist as it was. A low 107 degree fahrenheit temperature that quickly enshrouded the raider and caused his internal body heat to skyrocket. As his shriek died down to a low whisper, his body wobbled due to dizziness and headache, ragdolled, and fell to the ground from heat syncope.
Putting a stop to the flames, Drax felt the intent from one of the fallen raiders getting up and preparing to let loose with a grenade launcher.
Drax twisted around and shielded his face with his arms in a barrier stance as the gun lobbed a volatile explosive at him.
It exploded with a loud kaboom against his arms, heat and shrapnel doing nothing to the scales. Drax just growled, leaped forward as the light and smoke dispersed, and latched his hand onto a now screaming raider's muzzle, muffling it, and lifting him up. He reached out with his other hand, grabbing the grenade launcher and wrenching it, making it creak and crack apart. The raider squeezed his eyes shut and cringed. Drax followed up by twirling around and throwing the raider into the air as high as he could, far away from the village. Letting him drop wherever he may a quarter of a mile out.
The dragon leader flexed his rippling muscles, extended his wings, and let out a huff, smoke trailing out of his snout and sparking embers flaking off his mouth. All while an audience of villagers looked on in fright and shock, their brains locking up from the display they'd just encountered.
Drax took a moment to calm himself down, before holding up a thumb to the others, clicking his forked tongue, and taking off at breakneck speed.
The stallion that had been conked on the head murmured. “Least he... could've done was... let us thank him.” His voice was a little slurred due to the concussion.
A mare spoke up soon after. “Wait, wasn't that the dragon DJ said Marvelous Spiral fought? What's he doing out here?”
“How'd he use elemental magic?”
“Wait didn't the DJ say the dragon had a companion with him?”
“Where’s his weyr?”
“Why is he here?”
“Where's the Spiral?”
A confused hub bub formed amidst the crowd before they realized they should probably go about disarming those who were either unconscious, dead, or trapped.
Drax cackled with glee as he kept the Alicorsair behind to watch the way the villagers disarmed and interrogated the raiders about where they came from, why they were there, etc. The act had felt good. Maybe not killing one but certainly putting a stop to them. It’d been a long time since he let loose for a reason like that. Flesh under scales tingled as electrical impulses, emotional activity surged within Drax's body, sending his entire form alight, tensing up and flexing, pulling his fists against his chest and exploding outward with a fervor and a roar as he rocketed across the environment once more.
Glee blossomed in Drax's chest, the likes of which he couldn't describe nor express, but one Garyld had taught him to analyze and question so that he would always be in control of his feelings.
How did he feel? Like he was above the cloud cover. Why did he feel that way? Because he'd just wrecked some likely high profile raiders. Was that all? No, it was because he'd saved others in the nick of time. Why did that make him feel good? Drax grumbled as the answers slowly filtered into his mind. He felt in control of his destiny for the first time in a long time, like he could overcome anything even if it was such a tiny victory. It taught him that his heart was both in the wrong and right places at the same time. Life was never so black and white.
What did this teach him?
These feelings mean that I can get a boost from the smallest of things. That life is never so bleak as to not allow for something small to be done, even if it's just to put good feelings out into the world around me. As long as I remain aware, I am in control. As long as I analyze, I am in the driver's seat.
Drax could've sworn there was something else he should be learning from it but at the moment, in his high, it was beyond him. The dragon shot off, beating his wings, to meet up with his weyr as he continued listening in to the villagers for a little while longer.
Interesting. They heard we would be migrating from the DJ, but not to where. DJ certainly does have eyes and ears everywhere. Hmph. He must be protecting us. Drax's thoughts lulled for a moment. The Marvelous Spiral must be a nickname for Fear based on his cutiemark. What else has he done? He certainly didn't talk about his history with us. Mysterious stallion. Drax growled and decided to leave the questions building up in his mind for another time.
Arriving near Dryfield, passing by one of the SPP towers, Drax told his companions to wait for him on the outskirts, away from the boundaries laid out by a scattered field of old bottlecap mines and the occasional scavenged junk turret. As he lazily took off again to check out the farmhouse he'd been told about, he cleared his mind and thought about what laid ahead for him.
Circling around Pumpkin Pep's farmhouse, lightly beating his wings to keep his form in the air, he slowly spiraled inward while taking in the place, beginning his descent a few moments later for the front door. He'd seen a couple fillies and a colt out taking care of the vegetation, and decided he ought to ignore them for the time being, thankful that most equines didn't think to look up at random intervals.
Drax hovered in the air a few moments with a couple flap flap flaps of his wings as his momentum carried him forward, before landing on the porch of the old farmhouse with a thud. His talons gripped into the wood to anchor him as he considered his first words. Hesitating.
What do I say? I'm Drax Novus. My family is here to live near you for a little while? I know your grandson?
No. A claw came up and scratched over his chin like his scales were itchy. Hmph.
I've heard all about you from your grandson. It's nice to finally meet the family that ended up siring a hero...
No. Too submissive.
Greetings, my name is Drax Novus. I assume you've heard of me?
Hm. Not casual enough, and definitely not friendly.
As Drax contemplated the first impression the door creaked open and out stepped Jack.
“Huh. You're bigger than I imagined.” Jack leaned to one side, cocked an eyebrow, and then held out a hoof. “Drax Novus right? Our grandson told us you'd be by around this time most likely.”
Drax was caught flatfooted, as evidenced by the dumbstruck look on his face. “Huh? How?”
Emulae squeezed by a moment later, doing a small bow. “Pleasure to meet you dragon leader.” A teasing tone like syrup dripped down her voice. “If Fear hasn't told you yet then it's not our place to be revealing family secrets. Just know he has his ways.” A small simper crawled across the violet and pink changeling's face.
Jack snickered a little. “Fear was right, you can be a dork sometimes.” He turned around, beckoning Drax to follow him with a hoof.
Drax huffed, not quite fuming but certainly blushing over his scales, reaching up into his eyes. There was a sense of outrage, a sense of embarrassment, and many other things that flew through the dragon's mind. He clapped his hands over his face and stomped a foot. Ugh. I am not used to being caught off guard like this, nor not being in the know. Another failure. Drax watched Emulae slither into the house before Drax ducked under the doorway and followed in, trying to put it behind him.
As if reading his mind, Pep spoke. “Try not to worry about it too much. First impressions don't mean Jack shit to us.”
Drax was shocked by the joke, freezing in place for a second as it registered and he let out a bark of laughter that he didn't expect. Just... came out unexpectedly like a burp. He was five seconds away from leaving and starting all over again, the perfectionist in him coming to the surface in those moments.
Jack laughed. “Good, you got a sense of humor. Try not to take things too seriously Drax. We're not like that. Life's not meant to be taken seriously.”
Emulae hummed and made her way into the kitchen. “You want a slice of pumpkin pie Drax? You are a guest after all.”
Drax murmured, holding a hand against his forehead and bowing slightly so he wouldn't scrape against the ceiling. His tail swept behind him in controlled bursts, both trying to relieve excess nerves and keep from knocking into anything, the fishy fin at the tip flexing up and down like he was swimming. “Thank you for your hospitality but, um.” Drax was still blushing. “I think we should just keep this purely business.”
Emulae chortled. “Nonsense! If we're going to get along from here on out we're going to do this right. This is isn't old Equestria where everything has to be so formal all the time.”
“That's right,” Jack continued. “So relax. Take a load off.” Then he corrected himself. “Maybe not on the couch though, your body could crush it.”
Drax sighed under his breath, dragging a hand down his face, making it distort slightly from the movement. “Ugh. Why me?”
Jack chuckled. “Because you're a friend of our grandson, and my dear wife's always intended to bring peace to the wasteland through teamwork so... we're going to do just that.”
Emulae came out holding a plate in her telekinesis with a perfectly cut slice of pumpkin pie, a tiny dollop of cream spilled onto it and smeared across the top. “Oh honey. It was your dream too...”
“Oh Gumdrop...” Jack drawled.
As Jack mentioned something about bringing life to the wasteland in various ways, Drax blinked and reached out for the pie, inundated in his own thoughts. Gumdrop? Like the drug? Pie? They really are trying to bring civility back? Hum... Drax wrapped his hand around the slice and gently lifted it to his maw, taking a mini bite. He wasn't exactly supposed to be eating anything besides meat and gems or rocks, but he could explore a little beyond his frequent culinary escapades. He took a little nibble and chewed it up between his teeth, flicking the chunk about with his tongue.
“Oh by the way,” Emulae said after Jack had finished saying... something. “The cream might be a little... stagnant. It's chemically composed so it can be preserved even without being kept in a cool location.”
Drax merely shrugged his shoulders as Jack continued saying something to Emulae. It was true the cream was a little... dull. But it still helpfully balanced out the taste of the relatively fresh pie, with the crust giving something to truly chew on amidst everything that just melted in the mouth. It wasn't crunchy, but it didn't just up and dissolve either. Drax took a few more quick nips, then swallowed the rest whole. It was... pretty good. Not better than some gems, but certainly different. “Uh, thank you for that.” Then again it's nice having something in my mouth for once that doesn't just crunch. Impossible to find gems nowadays that melt in the mouth.
Emulae broke Drax from his reverie. “No problem. I know it's not quite dragon cuisine but I figure it's better than nothing after your long travel.”
“It wasn't... that long.” Drax was in a bit of a daze, in denial about everything that had happened to that point.
Jack moved over, reached up, and slapped Drax in the middle of his back. “Come on! Stop thinking and just sit down. Tell us. What's on your mind?”
Drax immediately plopped his rear down, unable to really think about anything else, and put his hands on his knees, setting the plate down. It felt good to sit after traveling nearly nonstop. Dragons had a lot of endurance, but it was still nice to rest. He hadn't gotten much of a chance to do that. They didn't have the opportunity.
Emulae waved a hoof in front of Drax's face. “Equus to Drax, come in! You there honey?”
Drax looked up from the floor, his eyes regaining their luster. “Oh, right. Sorry. I guess it has been a long journey. A lot's been happening to me lately I suppose..” he looked around the rustic living room. “I'm surprised to see so much hospitality in this place. I've been messing up a lot lately and I don't feel like I deserve it.”
Emulae and Jack looked at each other for a moment. Jack was the first to speak. “Well if that doesn't sound like our grandson I don't know what does!”
Drax's eyes lit up for a moment. “Uhh... what?”
Jack rolled a hoof, Emulae looked up to the ceiling. The former spoke. “It's not our place to talk about it. If Fear wants to tell you about the times he screwed up, that's his prerogative. He gets really emotional sometimes.”
Drax lifted an eyebrow.
Emulae nodded. “He's always the little perfectionist. Has a hard time getting out of a rut when he gets in one. You seem the same way, Drax.”
“Oh. Hm. Yeah I suppose.” Drax's voice drifted off. “I guess we all have to learn how to deal with our failures and move on.” It felt good that he wasn't the only one struggling with the answer to this. Then Emulae said something he didn't expect.
“Most of us go through it. Those of us who hold ourselves to a higher standard than we do the ones around us. They have to learn that they need to be compassionate to themselves as well as others. The rest have to learn some other method of accepting it and moving on. Everyone has a different coping mechanism, or a different answer.”
Jack finished her thought. “Yes, and everyone needs to come to their answer themselves, even if it's the same as someone else's. Until then, healing won't be complete.”
Drax's tail flicked and he stared at the ground. There was a lot to say, a lot to react to, and not enough time. Another failure? No. I have to stop thinking about it like that or I'll just keep driving myself down. Ever since my loss to Fear I've been seeing everything as a mistake. Even if it is I need to figure out... what I'm doing wrong. He looked up. “How did Fear get over it?” There was a curious growl in Drax's 'r's.
Jack laughed and shook his head. Emulae blushed and looked off to the side. “Between you and me, he's still not over it. He moved past it but he still hasn't accepted or discarded it. He tries to act like it's not affecting him, tries to act strong in front of us all. But sometimes the cracks show. He's still not recovered from his problems.”
Drax grinned, squeezing his eyes shut, cheeks rising over his eyes. “Is that so? Well. I guess we're all at different stages in our growth.” Drax stood up. “Oof. I really should pull myself together and figure things out.” There was a small facade overcoming the dragon, a sense of lightheartedness that finally filtered to the surface. “I was told by Fear that you guys would be able to help my little group out. I still find it strange that he's able to communicate with all of us in our dreams.”
“Hah!” Emulae barked. “He has Princess Luna's help to thank for that. But he hardly tells anyone because he learned the hard way spreading that information leads to problems.”
Drax's jaw fell open and he blinked a few times. “Wait, you mean he was serious about that? I figured he just learned how to dreamwalk.” He looked at the ceiling and tapped his chin with a claw. “Huh. He really has gone through a lot hasn't he? Special little whelp.”
Jack shrugged. “He's insecure about what he's earned, whether he truly deserves the recognition or not. It's because of that we hardly ever talk about what he's accomplished, though we know all about it.”
Drax murmured under his breath and glared at the two. “You're right, he has a lot of issues to work through. It's a good thing he's not leading an actual group.” Whelp has a lot to learn about accepting the graciousness of others. Come to think of it he seemed to hate having others ask how he'd beat me too. “Strange colt.”
The two before him nodded. “That's stating it mildly,” Emulae teased while rolling her eyes. “But despite his issues he's trying his best. As for how we can help you...” Emulae's horn lit up with a lavender aura and a similar field of undulating stars and auroras coiled around Drax's skull.
Before the dragon knew it, what he saw in the room was replaced with flying over the entire desert, taking in every single detail and memorizing landmarks he'd never seen before, but could now. Everything from oases to strangely formed plateaus and cliffs, all the way to abandoned facilities, roads, and rock farms, plus everything in between. Drax's gaze was distant, a thousand yard stare for awhile as he took it in, jaw dipping. After a moment he shook his head, feeling the memory throb against his mind like he'd just had a really vivid dream as normal vision returned and the light around Emulae's horn went quiet. “What... was that?”
“A very intensive visual hallucination. I just guided you throughout the majority of the desert around this farmhouse in a matter of seconds. It's the only way for a changeling's hivemind memory to be applied to a non-changeling. The intensity was why you could see me performing the spell. It was a spell.”
Drax looked impressed, and also excited. “That's really cool!” For a moment he sounded like a whelp. “What else can you do with that!?”
Emulae gave a little wink, and Jack looked between the two with a knowing smirk. “Changeling secrets, for now Drax Novus. Just focus on helping out your people.”
Jack spoke up. “Also, once you've decided on one of those rock farms to make your home, come by again with your weyr. We've already informed most of the townsfolk what's going on and to keep your visit on the downlow. We figured we ought have a celebration. I don't suppose you can help us provide some food?”
Drax was immediately on edge, his shoulders rising slightly, fingers clenching into fists, thighs tensing up. His head twisted to face the equine and changeling, There was a suspicious expression, crossed with shock and surprise. “Uhh... I don't know.” He didn't expect others to know about this arrangement. “Are they... trustworthy? I don't want the Steel Rangers to come around.”
Jack's face molded to one of surprise, though just purely so. “Oh? Fear didn't tell you? Hm. Guess he didn't want to worry you.”
Drax narrowed his gaze and grit his teeth. “Tell me what?” Suddenly this was looking a lot less welcoming. Was he going to have to fight his way out? So much for hospitality.
“We have a deal with the Steel Rangers.”
Drax's stomach sank.
“We give them food and the ingredients for some homemade radaway and they stop asking questions about our life and the lives of the citizens here. While it means they're less likely to intervene in our problems, it means we don't have to worry about them taking Emulae here away for questioning or worse.” He shrugged a shoulder. “We live in harmony with those who would otherwise be our enemies. It's a tentative arrangement and they've only started learning to trust us and our judgment, but all they care about in the end is being able to take care of their brotherhood. Just like all of us, we're looking to take care of someone. They're not going to bother you, and if this little town can keep changelings from being outed, we can keep dragons from being outed too.”
Jack paused. “So, you willing to trust us too, Drax Novus?” He held out a hoof.
Drax's face was screwed up in thought and clouded with suspicion. He was trembling. Feeling betrayed, feeling naive. A set of emotions he wasn't used to dealing with. His breath hung in his lungs and he thought about burning Fear's grandparents down right then and there and running off. Terror was a primal, destructive emotion. He understood. Still. If they could harbor a changeling, and if Fear would give him the benefit of the doubt regarding his intentions, forgive him for trying to kill him, then why couldn't Drax give them the benefit of the doubt too?
The dragon eased up some of his tension and closed his mouth. After a prolonged sigh, hands on his hips, Drax reached out and clasped the small hoof proffered him, giving it a gentle shake. “Alright. I guess I can give you all a chance. What else am I going to do after all?” Besides, hurting others will just get me hunted down. Garyld, and Fear taught me I shouldn't be acting on emotions like the colt's namesake. His eyes relaxed and pulled his hand away. “What do you want me to bring to the celebration?” He asked, voice still on edge.
Jack smiled. “Excellent. If you want, have a couple of your dragons do some hunting, bring some radbeasts along, and we'll have a barbeque. That is provided you all feel like cooking.” A lopsided smile crossed the small stallion's face.
Emulae draped a foreleg over Jack's shoulders and pulled him in close.
Huh, Drax thought, they hardly look their age except when they're together like this. He lifted an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest masculinely, his lips tugging upward on one side in a smirk. “You're good with words Jack. I don't know if it's your selection of them or just the charisma but... you got yourself a deal. So long as you all provide the drinks for the occasion.”
Emulae cooed. “Dragons drink hm? That's new to me.”
Drax cocked his head. “Only on some occasions. We don't brew our own beer or anything, though we do know how to get high and have a good time.” Drax reached out with a fist.
Jack and Emulae both reached out a hoof and bumped with him.
“I'll see you later, you two.” Drax twisted around and waved with two fingers over his shoulder, before ducking down a bit and exiting the door.
On the other side he saw a trio of siblings staring up at him in wonder, following his departure with their eyes. The one he recognized from Fear's descriptions as Chirp looked the least intimidated and the most in awe. Rose looked the most cool and collected. And Mirage's legs were shaking.
Drax turned his head around and readied to take off. Huh, every equine in Fear's family is so full of personality, he couldn't help but think. And with that he gave a nod to the siblings and took off.
Chirp raced forward and threw his hooves out, waving. “SEE YOU SOON!” He cried out at the top of his lungs.
Rose gave a small, tentative wave, and Mirage collapsed on her side with a squeak.
Drax decided to look ahead to the future instead of focusing on the past. It seemed like the right thing to do. Fear said it was the blue and orange filly that liked to listen to music right? Hm. I'll tell Slag to bring the records with him and we'll hand them over. Maybe she'll let me use her record player now and then.
Most of the town had met up in and around Scavver's Tavern for the celebration. A number of ponies didn't know what was going on but quickly got into the swing of things even despite seeing dragons there. More than a few had been shocked and scared, but upon seeing how lively everyone else was, the feeling was contagious and before Drax knew it, pretty much the whole town was joining in on the fun.
Chirp brought his games that he used outside the farmhouse, like his 'recently' attained croquet set, badminton equipment, and horseshoes/spike. Mirage with the help of Jack brought the record player and played not only her own collection but Drax's collection as well as she slowly drew out of her shell, in part thanks to Fear. She also made the air around the place smell nice with illusions. Rose occasionally gave massages when she was in the mood, and put together some old puzzles otherwise, inviting others to join in with her.
Emulae took select ponies and dragons on an illusory excursion through old Equestria and occasionally hosted hallucinatory RPG worlds for them to have fun in as a group. It took a lot of concentration, but it wasn't difficult per se.
Jack mostly helped hoof out food and drinks, and directed the assigned dragons on how to best cook the meats they were given so it'd be cooked enough without burning away the taste and juices.
Overall it'd been an incredibly good time. Good games, good drinks, good food. A spectacular event christening a new era of friendship between different species. A barbeque toasting to times ahead. Some dragons and ponies told stories, and overall both sides were learning to trust each other. A few changelings from Spearmint Wing's up and coming hive showed up to partake, host sparring matches, and broadcast the fun party to the others farther away.
Drax was left in awe at the sheer positive outcome of his choice. Occasionally chatting with Jack, Emulae, and the siblings. A toast to new beginnings.
Mistakes are embarrassing, Drax thought. But they have meaning too. We're going to keep having our misses, but there'll be hits too. Our choice to move on is in part what gives the past beauty and meaning. The beauty is in how we redeem ourselves afterward, and the juxtaposition between it all leaves a mark in everyone's mind. His eyes took in the sight of his people and new friends having the time of their lives. A time they would not have had if they hadn't risked failure. If there wasn't beauty in all of this, others wouldn't be moved. Failures and struggle are beautiful in their own right because it's an experience, experiencing who you are as a person. A moving story is beautiful because it happened, because there was a future after it. Failure is not the end, it is the beginning of something new, no matter how new. Not everyone will make it, but they'll be okay too. If they weren’t there’d’ve probably been a riot from all that wasted magical potential. Matter and energy simply change forms after all. There might be more bad times in the future, but for now... this was fine. I hope Fear learns this too, soon. He's a good colt.
The past half hour leading to Maneami had been taken up by philosophical discussion between the squad, primarily about the nature of time as a whole and whether it was cyclical or more of an eddie. All of this as they walked through a bombed out residence with scattered tropical and banyan trees. Whether pasts and futures looped into themselves and repeated or if reality was constantly undergoing new iterations with each wind around. About whether progress was a law of every multiverse, or only a fundamental aspect of their multiverse. Which led into questions about what was truly necessary for life and meaning, as well as queries regarding whether the gods were using them for entertainment or some greater purpose. The conversation twirled around between the four of them, touching upon the meaning of Acrid's cutie mark and, finally, the importance of complexity, and what was at the root of it all.
“Or it's just a continuous cycle in order to cement something important, or just for entertainment.” Faith reminded with a hoof in the air.
“Maybe. But growth seems so important to everything. It has more meaning than simply entertainment. It makes the most sense I guess?”
“Is that so?” Acrid challenged. “So then what about your mother dying Fear? You grow from that?” There was a teasing tone to his voice. Gentler and Faith shot him a dirty look, Fear just smiled and rolled his eyes.
“Yes, Acrid. I grew from that. I had to heal the wounds, and I haven't yet discarded the trauma fully – I know it still affects me in small ways like how I'm terrified of putting others in danger to this day. But I did grow. Even if not in all the best ways.”
“See?” Acrid pushed.
“Yeah, but it was mostly better ways,” Fear continued. “It also gave me better access to my magic. Nowadays that feels like a silver lining. Not a worthy transaction but more of an 'at least.' You know? Everyone keeps telling me once I discard the past, the things that no longer serve me, I'll figure out how to draw more power from the world around me, but I'm still figuring out how to do that.”
Acrid puffed out his chest. “Probably by learning to not be afraid of loss.”
Fear felt an ulterior motive to that comment, but decided to ignore it. “Sure I fear losing my family, but I'd lose them all over again if it came to it, if it meant I could have them for a little while longer. It hurts, it traumatizes, but it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”
Faith chortled. “You took that straight from a playbook!”
Fear grinned, blushing and rubbing the back of his head with a hoof. “Guilty! But it's a super important line with a lot of truth to it.”
Acrid smirked. “Oh? So then when are you going to grow out of this 'I'm an imposter' phase you seem to be stuck in?”
Fear's jaw fell open a bit, and the others glanced at him. He felt their eyes lingering on him and his blush intensified, glancing at the ground. “Well. Uh. I'm still working on that,” he murmured. “I just feel like I'm gliding through life, or maybe not gliding enough. It’s as if everything I possess, have experienced, and have become is fake.”
“Well at least you still have a home, Fear. My roots are dead. Even if you don't deserve it,” Acrid replied, “you have those who love you. In my opinion it doesn't matter if you deserve it or not.”
“Yeah but you don't know what I did,” Fear whispered. “And besides, you can always live with me in Dryfield until you come up with where you want to go, and what you want to do.”
Acrid's gaze shifted behind him to Fear, surprise etched in his face. “Well... thank you. I appreciate that.”
Fear could tell Acrid was hiding something. Maybe it was just lack of enthusiasm? But why? There was something else there too. An allure or admiration, he didn't want to know. “Well what about you Acrid? How have things grown for you?” Fear jut a hoof out toward the equine ahead of him. “Surely you've been remembering more. I've seen the way you handle yourself in a fight nowadays.”
Acrid narrowed his eyes, then shrugged nonchalantly, lifting a hoof and twisting it up to face the sky. “I've remembered more than I'd like to. But that doesn't mean it's not a good thing, if that makes any sense. And it helps I have a way to defend myself nowadays.”
“Huh,” Faith replied. “First time I've ever seen you so curt and not cracking jokes.”
Acrid sighed. “Nothing to joke about, Faith. Changing the subject... what were you saying earlier about not knowing what you did Fear?”
Well at least some ponies didn't care what they learned, even if it was bad, Fear thought. “You always had that good of hearing or is it situational?”
The older stallion scoffed. “Says the pony who used to eavesdrop. For someone who doesn't like prying you sure like sticking your snout where it doesn't belong.”
“Well, I mean...” Fear muttered. “It's not exactly prying if they're already talking about it.”
Acrid laughed. “Is that how you excuse it?” Acrid shut his mouth before he said something hurtful. “It's fine. I know why you do it Fear. You just want to help, and you're also lethally curious. But now I'm curious about you, it's time to open up.”
“Oh. Uh.” Fear looked up from the ground, focusing on Acrid. “Well... I guess I could tell you. I don't usually like telling ponies about myself. But...” Fear massaged his foreleg with a hoof. “Long story short, after my mother died I killed a couple innocents. A father and a son.”
Acrid threw Fear a glance, eyebrow raised. Fear felt a lot of emotions cross Acrid's consciousness. Betrayal, apathy, indecision, disgust, and then after a few moments the disgust reached a crescendo. “I can see why you don't tell others. You probably should so they don't get the wrong idea about you.” Biting words. “You ever try seeking out the mother in your sleep?”
A tentative smile crossed Fear's face as he ran a hoof through his mane. “Uh. Yeah. I keep in touch with her frequently and I try to be there for her what little I can. I try to be like a second son to her but it's difficult and I usually don't succeed.”
Looking down at the ground, Acrid's brow furrowed. “You should try harder.”
Fear could tell Acrid's opinion of him had changed with one little revelation. His heart ached, and he glanced off and to the side. He tried to turn his emotions into thoughts. I feel guilty, ashamed, and inferior. I've started putting a lot of emphasis on what Acrid thinks of me, so it hurts more. That doesn't mean I'm bad... right? Faith and Gentler like me. Right? It wasn't helping as much as he'd hoped. Acrid doesn't determine my self worth, I don't need him to. It usually helped, but it wasn't fully assisting this time.
Instead, as they entered city limits, Fear took out his sword and dwelled on that. He remembered the consciousness venom from his death to the Surreal. Could he do something like that to put someone to sleep? To recreate it, I need to know what it consisted of. It was a form of poison. What kind of elements are poisonous? ...Fire. Radiation? Can I focus radiation in my sword? If I can focus, albeit tainted water to my sword I should be able to summon radiation... right?
Fear spun the sword around a few times, staring at it and concentrating. Evolution. Change. Unregulated growth. Overwhelming energy. Shedding excess, for better or worse. Sickness. Alteration. Harness that feeling and command it. He squeezed his eyes shut as he cast out Shaybna's lure, seeking out the aspect of nature. Following his family with his sixth sense alone. Shaybna? Can you help please?
There was a bite. He felt a connection, a thin, wavering thread through the sword as a conduit, fusing him with reality on a barely visible wavelength. Fear's chest puffed out and he opened his eyes as he yanked forward with his consciousness and twisted the sword around his body before bringing it up, over his body, then down, edge horizontal, in front of him. As he stared at the blade he noticed a sickly green globby glow exuding from the blade, giving it a diseased sheen. As it stabilized, it became less a blob and more like a streetlight in the fog, that's what the green reminded Fear of. It gently radiated outward, and Fear realized he should extinguish it before it affected him.
But...
Can I modify this element to mimic the virus and put others to sleep? But how? Fear chewed on his lower lip as his ears flattened against his skull. Then gnawing on a hoof. He had to be quick. I'll ask Luna. Doing it in the middle of a battle without testing is dangerous.
That's when Fear heard a voice in his mind.
“Fear.”
Shaybna? What is it?
“The solution to your problem is simple. It is akin to making a spell. All you must do is channel your will through me, and I will be your horn. Think about your intent, will it, and incant whatever may come to your heart to direct that emotion more efficiently. Your youth and inexperience with your spells makes the incantation a requirement.”
Hmm... will the same thing work for healing a consciousness with the blade?
“Yes, Fearei Shatter. I am merely a conduit for your will, a second, more powerful horn.”
Unsurprisingly there had been raiders waiting outside their destination, both for the defenseless and newly wealthy to come out for an ambush. Suffice to say they'd been dispatched easily enough the second Fear sensed them and the squad was able to go on the attack. Their destination, the main Maneami Market Place, was naturally fortified and the best place to go in the area to sell and buy goods. Fear knew about it from Emulae and the Viola hive in general. It had stone walls, choke points, other tactical advantages. Fear and his family were paying a visit there in order to resupply a tiny bit with the money they had from Dryfield. Fear only had a thousand caps on him, but it should've been enough for necessities. He wasn't exactly rich back home but he had a reliable job and was skilled at what he did for a living. It'd been three years making a name for himself in that town, both toward those who passed through and those who lived there. No matter how hard Fear was on himself, he could at least puff his chest out in the knowledge he was talented as a comfort horse, no matter what the job entailed, be it emotional or physical comfort, or even actual sex. Change and healing was in his nature.
And it helped that, among his companions, he was the only one that didn't need actual food in order to survive. All he needed was a consistent source of love, and given how his family felt about him... it wasn't difficult to siphon what he needed to keep himself topped off.
As the group split up with their gear in order to go about buying what little they needed, Fear hung out in the center among the various shopkeeps, watching as ponies bartered to get what they needed. His saddlebags hung over his flanks, covering up his cutiemark. Wonder if Gentler will ever purchase a long ranged weapon. Fear flicked his tail as he looked over to where Faith was. I'm never surprised anymore to see ponies trying to get her to sell the Alicannon. Then his vision settled on Acrid, narrowing his eyes. I don't know what to think about you... His tail swept to the side, and that's when he caught the colt in his peripheral, snapping his head to look at him.
An emaciated unicorn colt was hanging out in front of the canned food bazaar, looking longingly at the items on sale. His jaw hung open, and his eyes were sunken and bruised, but he looked more tired than pathetic. Fear cursed himself for thinking that way about another pony. His breathing was heavy but Fear could see the determination hiding in his eyes. He had nothing on him. A red coat, a prismatic butterfly for a cutiemark, and greasy brown mane and tail. He looked like a wreck, his fur askew and dirty, with patches of dust scattered over him. Fear's eyes lingered on the colt for awhile. What's he doing? Doesn't he have...? No. Of course not. Most ponies don't have parents. He closed his mouth and wandered over to the colt. Overall this little one reminded Fear of himself, even if they were nearly the same height, with the younger being ever so slightly smaller.
“Hey there.”
The colt jumped and took a step back, curling up on himself, glancing around wildly like he was about to be hurt by the guards that used automatic weapons and far more precise firearms to defend against raiders. To Fear it felt less anxious, more paranoid. Living in the wastes was traumatic. His lips blubbered a bit and he bowed his head. A feigned demonstration of deference and sadness, Fear could tell. “Sorry about that, just looking! ...Again.” The colt was optimsitic and strong. Looking at him reminded Fear of his roots, almost. The difference being he'd had a chance on his own. It wasn't quite guilt that spurred him, but a sense of camaraderie.
Fear held a hoof up defensively, throwing on a charming grin, a lock of hair falling over his eyes. “Come on, I know you're not really that scared.” Fear's strange glowing eyes shimmered. Still, fake panic or not... Fear was proud of the colt for enduring. “I just wanna know what you're doing here.”
Something about Fear's voice was intense to the colt, but he couldn't put his hoof on what. His gaze settled on the cans of food before him and he bit his lower lip. “Uhh. Hm. I was just... looking at the food. I haven't eaten in days. And I know if I go outside I'm going to get caught by those raiders and used for... whatever they want.”
Fear frowned slightly, glancing to the food vendor. “Is that so? What about your parents?”
The colt stayed silent, though his eyes contracted. Fear knew it was frustration. That or hesitance to trust.
“What about your name? Do you have one or remember it?”
“Flitter Fly.”
Fear's cheeks puffed out and he coughed into a hoof.
“Don't laugh.” Flitter spat. “I know it's not wasteland material.”
“It's not that Flit... it's just I didn't expect a unicorn to be named 'fly.' Any reason your parents named you that?”
Fear felt cordial to the colt. Didn't seem like a danger. He didn't draw closer, but he spoke a little more freely, his dulled orange eyes appearing distracted. A manipulative air that Fear could sense overcame the colt. “I don't know. They never told me. They died before I could get to know them very well. It's difficult to get inside a group because they want you to do all these things to prove your loyalty, and some are just... bad.”
Narrowing his eyes, Fear thought on that, hunching over. “Yeah I know what you mean. I had the same difficulty growing up. Once I finally learned to trust others I tried to latch on but it was difficult.” And I always felt guilty trying to grow attached for the longest time. Fear faced Flitter. “You know what I think your name means?”
The colt looked to Fear with a hint of apprehension and suspicion, like he suspected Fear was trying to get something out of him.
“I think it means that you're meant to be free, your own unicorn, doing what you want. Showing off your beauty to those you come across. Carving out a life for yourself. I think it represents your inner soul. Beautiful and fragile, yet strong and flying above everything that tries to bring you down.” Fear glanced to Flitter and gave him a small smile. “That sound about right?”
A single, solitary smile graced Flitter's face as he lifted an eyebrow at Fear, then chuckled. “Nice. But super cheesy. You need to work on your negotiation skills, you're not going to get anypony to give you anything with ass-kissing like that.”
Fear just simpered and lidded his eyes.
The shopkeeper spoke up, no recognition in his eyes. “Look. This colt comes by frequently to mooch. Just constantly giving him what he needs is going to encourage him. Now either buy something or leave. You're scaring away the customers you glowing-eyed freak.”
Fear nearly barked out laughter, leaning forward before standing up and throwing a hoof around the colt, leading him away. Flitter didn't resist, but he wasn't easy to guide either. “It's no lie, that's what I really think. I guess I'm just a cheesy kinda pone. Though we should probably get you a little food. I also have an idea.” As he led Fly away, he reached into his saddlebags and pulled out a box of sunflower seeds, closing them back up and levitating them alongside him.
“Well... I guess you seem sincere enough.” Flitter smirked a bit. Fear seemed like an easy mark. “What's your idea?”
“I'm gonna teach you a couple things right quick. Here. Eat a few of these. They'll help you recover a little.” Fear dumped a small handful of seeds out and hoofed them over to the colt.
Flitter opened his mouth and popped the seeds in, crunching down on them all with his flat teeth, before swallowing. “Huh. Where'd you get these things? These are really good!” There was vitality in the seeds. Pure life force and love emitting from them.
Fear stopped where he was and turned around to face the colt. “Trade secret, and you can have them. I don't need them that bad. Even if you're just taking advantage of me, that doesn't really matter. I wanna help. Just make sure to eat 'em sparingly.”
Flitter's gaze softened, and he looked away with a huff. “You seem simple.”
“Hah. I probably am. I've seen things of myself, I wouldn't be surprised if I had issues and deficiencies.”
The colt's face screwed up, his facade melting away a bit. On second thought Fear looked awfully familiar. But what would the Marvelous Spiral be doing in Maneami? Heroes didn't come to Maneami. “Alright, enough of this bullshit, what's the rest of your idea?”
Fear grinned and giggled. Definitely saw himself in Flitter. “I'm going to buy you some things, so you can start scavenging a little. Make a name for yourself, ya know? Because I know there's nothing more satisfying in life than learning how to fend for yourself. The high it gives is intense.” He threw his forelegs out, and then started leading Flitter over to a vendor selling clothing and storage.
Flitter was... confused. But not altogether against it. What was Fear's problem? Why did he think it was important? What did he have to gain? What was he going to make him do?
Fear read his worries and shot him a little smile. “There's no strings attached, I promise. If you decide you wanna just sell it after we're done and keep living as you were, that's fine. But being cast out alone without any opportunities sucks.” He slapped Flitter on the back, before looking over the items on sale and choosing one. A single saddlebag with a strap. A little frayed, but good enough for what was needed. He pulled out 100 bottlecaps from his saddlebags and hoofed them over to the vendor. “Here ya go.” Then he turned to Flitter. “Need help putting this on or can you do it?”
Flitter huffed and puffed out his cheeks. “Wow you really shouldn't treat everyone like a foal – I'm more intelligent than that!” He floated the saddlebag over to his barrel, coiling the strap around, and fastening it to the buckle until it was tight. The bag was bigger than him. But he could carry it. The seeds had helped. It was strange though. Putting it on made him feel more powerful.
Fear took the box of seeds and tucked it away into the bag. “Keep this safe. There aren't many but it'll keep you going for a couple weeks. They're made of pure love.”
“Pure love?” Now that was surprising. And fucking stupid.
Fear shrugged his shoulders. “Kinda anyway.” Flitter's look of confusion abated, only to be replaced by frustration at the sheer vagueness. There was a lopsided, teasing grin on Fear's face. “Now c'mon. Let's get you something that'll allow you to scavenge.”
Flitter went silent, glaring at the ground in thought. It felt weird to be taken care of like this, but not out of place. Fear almost seemed like a father figure in this instant. “How'd you get all this money? What do you do?”
“Oh I'm a comfort horse. Perfect job for somepony like me. But I'm not going to explain why. Gotta keep some secrets.”
Flitter grunted in response as they came to a bunch of scavenger tools set out on top of a towel.
Fear picked out a red handled crowbar and paid the shopkeep 130 caps before opening up Flitter's saddlebags and shoving it in at an angle so it could more easily settle inside. “You know, you're very quiet for a pony who's having his whole life turned upside down.”
There was a pause. “I don't know. Just not used to anypony going this far for me or take the risk that I'm just going to take advantage of your kindness. It's... strange. I don't know why you'd do it. Why you'd try to enable me. And for all you know I might one day try to mug you?”
“Haha! No way you'd ever do that. Even if you did you'd be incapacitated before you could shoot me. Now come this way.” Fear brought him over to a firearms dealer. Selecting a box of 50 rounds and a silenced pistol. 740 caps total. Fear didn't have much left, but that was fine. “Do you know how to load and fire a pistol Flitter?”
Flitter shook his head, eyebrows still furrowed. “No.”
Fear held the gun out. “Well here, like this. Here's the safety,” he pointed to a switch with his hoof, “and all you do to pull out the magazine is...” Fear compressed the magazine release with his telekinesis and pulled. “Then you just load the magazine with bullets.” Fear, while holding all three, box of 10mm bullets, magazine, and pistol, started funneling rounds into it. “Then when you're done put it back in.” Shuck. “Then pull back on this...” click. “And it's ready to fire. Keep the safety on whenever you're not using it. Make sure you know exactly how many rounds are in your gun at all times, and always keep it loaded in case of emergencies.” Fear hoofed it off to him with the handle facing the colt. “Capiche?”
“Alright all-knowing one. Any tricks to aiming?” There was a sour tone to Flitter's voice, but not altogether unpleasant. More a defense mechanism than anything.
Fear grinned from ear to ear. “Glad you asked. Stare down the sight, keep both eyes open, and try to pull the trigger in the center, otherwise you'll shoot slightly off. Try not to put it right in front of your eyes otherwise the recoil might get'cha. Alongside that, don't overestimate the recoil or you'll tilt it forward and your aim will be off.” He pat a hoof on the colt's shoulder as he set the weapon and ammo in his saddlebags. “You'll get used to it with time. What you wanna try to do is only use it if you absolutely need it. Keep your ears and eyes open for danger, and don't go shooting unless you know somepony is a threat. Sometimes it helps to use rocks as noisemakers to distract a raider.” Fear nuzzled into the colt's mane with his muzzle. “I think that's all you really need to know. You'll learn the rest on your own. You got all that?”
Flitter nodded once. “Thanks, I guess. I suppose I owe you to at least try finding a little something.” A beat. “By the way... Are you the Marvelous Spiral? I feel like an idiot asking, because it makes no sense he'd be around Maneami.”
Fear cocked his head to the side. “I'm sorry. I don't know who that is. Are you sure you're not confusing me for someone else? My name's Fearei Shatter.”
Flitter looked like he'd been punched. “Well it's nice to meet you I suppose, Fear. You sure I can have all this?”
Fear shook his head and slapped a hoof on Flitter's back. “Yeah. Everyone deserves a chance to make something of themselves, even if they don't take that opportunity. Stay safe and try not to let paranoia get to you. You've survived this long so I'm sure you know the ins and outs of avoiding raiders.”
Flitter laughed. “Yeah I do. Huh. Well thanks, whatever you are, for spending so much money on me I guess. You're not so bad. Definitely easy to mooch off of.”
“That may be so but I'm sure it'll be worth it. Now I gotta go, my family's going to be done soon.”
“Family?” Who would hang out with this loser?
Fear gave a firm nod. “Yeah.” Then he pointed to Acrid (who was buying a couple health potions), Gentler (who was chatting up a mare at the pharmacy), and Faith (who was looking through the literary section). “Those guys are my family. I care about them a lot and they care about me. You should start your career in earning family of your own around here. Friendship is super duper important Flitter! You never know who's going to be with you in the thickest of moments.”
Flitter lifted a foreleg against his chest and stared askance. “I... suppose. Thanks.” The colt seemed uncertain. “Look, you might be dumb but still, no one's gone quite this far for me before. So I guess I kinda owe you at least a little effort.”
Fear nodded and clapped both forehooves on Flitter's shoulders while sitting on his haunches and ignoring the insult. “Anytime. Now. I gotta go. I think my family's finishing up. You be safe okay? I expect to be hearing good things about you on the grapevine. And don't worry about the raiders waiting to ambush, I took care of them. They won't be coming back.”
The colt finally offered a genuine smile, albeit a cautious one, and turned to walk off. Even if the small stallion was dumb, he apparently was no pushover.
“Oh! Flitter!” Fear called out, something occurring to him.
Flitter about-faced and stared at Fear with glassy eyes. “What is it??”
The young stallion smiled from ear to ear, seeping into his eyes. “If you feel like doing so, make a stop by Friendship City and join the Wasteland Crusaders.”
“I'll... think about it. Thank you Fear.” And with that he was off, contemplating the new path set out before him.
Fear mused. I might visit Flitter in his dreams now and then.. Keep an eye on him.He realized a moment later that he'd spent a a lot of money on the colt. Would he have enough for the boat ride? Oh well. I'm good at bartering. It's part of my job after all. Even if I need to do a little comfort horse duties I can get anything with a little struggle.
“So then I realized I should probably check on him in his dreams now and then. Keep an eye on him and give him advice, maybe set up some dreams where he practices certain scenarios. I don't know. Is that too much? I just want to take care of him.”
Faith smiled brightly. “I think that's incredibly sweet of you Fear. Going to such lengths for a colt down on his luck shows you're growing, and that you'd be a good role model. You really shouldn't doubt yourself so much.”
Acrid puffed out his chest. “I don't know. You might've created a monster or gotten him killed. You gave an immature foal a weapon.”
Gentler shot Acrid a glance.
Fear wasn't certain what to make of that. It seemed... twinged with something. “I suppose, but I'm willing to take responsibility for that.”
“That's the spirit Fear!” Faith chirped. “Do good recklessly. Project your inner alicorn!”
Acrid huffed and looked off to the side in a pout.
Gentler narrowed his eyes. “Hey, you guys mind giving Acrid and me a second alone? I need to talk to him.”
Faith glanced, surprised, at Gentler. “Uh. Sure.”
Fear's focus settled on his cat friend and he lifted a hoof in uncertainty and suspicion. After a moment he nodded once and headed to the other side to talk with Faith. “Yeah sure. Take all the time you need. Just not too long. The time to save Abyssinia is getting very close.”
Gentler held up an 'okay' hand sign, wiggling his snout. “Sure thing Fear, thanks.” And then he started dragging a confused and protesting Acrid to the side.
Fear was pretty sure he knew where this conversation was going to go. Gentler was a good friend. Should he listen in though? That was the question. As he considered what to do, Faith asked him what he thought was going on. “Oh. Well you know Acrid's been acting strangely... passive aggressive right? Like when we fought that raider group before we got to the marketplace and he made that smartass comment about how I rely on my sixth sense so much, and how it got me killed? Then just now he was unnaturally aggressive and pessimistic? Something's going on with him.”
Faith tilted her head to the side. “I think I know why. I just didn't realize it was a problem for you. You've always seemed so lowkey with everything.”
“It's not. But apparently Gentler got tired of it. I think I know why too... and it makes me terrified.” Fear stepped in place a few times, rather nervously.
“You going to listen in?”
“Nah. Acrid was right. I eavesdrop way too much as it is. I should try to tone it down a bit.”
Faith ruffled Fear's mane. “That's kind of you. Acrid will tell you for himself when he's ready.”
A reluctant sigh came from Fear. “I don't look forward to it.” Because I'm starting to feel similar.
As Acrid and Gentler got out of earshot, the cat spared a glance toward Fear and Faith talking, before digging into the earth manipulating stallion. “Okay. Spill it. What's going on with you?”
Acrid balked in feigned confusion, lifting a foreleg and pressing it against his chest as if offended. “What? Why would you think something's going on? I'm just speaking my mind. Is that a problem now?”
“Shut up Acrid. We're a squad. We travel together, we live together, we die together. We can tell when something's off about the other and something's obviously off about you. What's going on? You've been unfairly aggressive and shooting Fear dirty looks constantly, even at the marketplace.”
Acrid huffed and glared at the ground, then off to the side with a lifted eyebrow, forehead furrowed a bit. “How'd you know?” There was a pouty tone to his deep voice.
“You make it obvious, and I'm a cat who lives in a normally xenophobic wasteland. I have to be on my toes all the time. Now. Spill it.”
“Okay! Okay.” Acrid stomped a hoof and spun around. “I've just been really affected by what Fear admitted to me on the city limits. Fear's always been a hero in my mind. It's dumb to think he did something so stupid. I'm just judging him really harshly. You might think it's unfair but someone has to stop looking past the sins of everyone here, otherwise it'll just keep happening.”
Gentler's eyes lidded and he leaned back, changing his stance to something more masculine, crossing his arms over his chest and twisting his head to the side. “Yeah. Right. That's definitely not all of it. You've seen some of the worst the wasteland has to offer, heard it with your own ears. You've grown accustomed to it during our travels. You may not feel comfortable killing anyone but you're more than adept in a fight. You were prepared for this life.” He thrust a finger out at Acrid accusingly. “What's really on your mind?”
Acrid was getting more and more flustered, sitting on his haunches with forelegs crossed over his chest, glancing down and to the side with a look of rage, glaring a hole into the floor. Finally he threw his forelegs up into the air like an explosion. “Fine!” He shouted, then dialed it down to a vehement whisper, jabbing a hoof at Gentler. “You know why it's bothering me so much? Because Fear's become my hero. He's a disgusting bug but he's taught me not all bugs are simply parasites. There's something about him that hits me in the core of my being. His eyes are piercing, He worms into my soul and there's nothing I can do about it.” Acrid was curling in on himself furiously, cringing inward.
“And?” Gentler asked with a raised eyebrow.
“And I care about him a lot I guess!? He's been trying to do everything for me even though he has a whole host of his own problems. He tries to help everyone he comes across. He's more useful than I ever was, and I admire him for that. I don't hate him. Not even for what he did back then. He's clearly a role model even if he can't accept it for himself.” Acrid's voice was still a low whisper. “I guess I care about him so deeply I just wanna be around him more. Feel him rub off on me. And maybe get his attention. Feel like I'm worth his time and I'm not just some loser who couldn't even accomplish his mission centuries ago. You know?”
A tiny, victorious grin spread across Gentler's muzzle. “So you're in love with him is what you're saying?”
Acrid huffed. “Yeah! I guess! I hate it but it's true. His life, everything about him moves me in a way I've never felt before. He's everything I ever wished I could be even with his mistakes, he's modest to a fault, and he makes me feel like someday I'll be something legendary too. I don't want to let him down and I just want him to feel the same way about me.”
Gentler flexed a bit while in his stance, wiggled his snout, and leaned to the other side. “You know why Fear's afraid of getting close to others right?”
Acrid glanced up at the cat in surprise. “What? Why?”
“You remember how he told you he lost his sister twice?”
“Yeah, what about it?” Acrid queried, loosening up a bit, feeling a bit more comfortable now that Gentler wasn't focusing on him, nor was he teasing him.
“Fear was traumatized twice by her loss, and the second time even more-so because just when he thought there was hope for the two of them to be a thing, even if he had to make concessions for it, she was taken away from him again. Of her own volition. She sacrificed herself to save him.”
A deer-in-headlights look overtook Acrid and his face went incredibly pale, jaw hanging open.
“You see now? He's concerned it'll just keep happening to him over and over again. I think anyone who's experienced trauma automatically assumes that's the way the world operates, no matter how irrational it sounds. Because they don't want to be hurt again. They set up defenses to keep them from growing attached, or from letting down their guard. Systems to protect themselves. Fear doesn't want to get close to anyone because he's scared he'll lose them just like he lost his mother and sister. He talks a big game, but even with his perspective on love and loss, he's cautious because he's afraid he's cursing those who care for him to give up what's most important.”
Acrid huffed and glared off to the side, blushing intensely. “Th-that's silly! Ponies give their lives for others because they care. You can't stop someone from growing to care about you. How has he not learned that?”
Gentler readjusted himself. “He has. And he clearly hates it. But he just keeps pulling others into the center of his spiral because he can't help himself. He wants to help others. I think if anything's a curse, it's the way he lives his life. If he has feelings for you he's not going to show it without a lot of effort.”
“I just... want him to see me the way I see him for however long we have left on Equus. It means the world to me.”
“Well you're going to have to pull it out of him kicking and screaming then.” Gentler moved away, his cloak flapping. “Just don't push too hard or you'll push him away.” And with a wave over his shoulder he beckoned Acrid to follow.
Acrid was alone with his thoughts. But it wasn't time for that. They had to get to the harbor.
The waters of the harbor slapped and plopped against the piers casting out to sea. There were so many old boats of varying shapes and sizes, but it was not guaranteed all of them worked, and most did not have the gasoline to run for very long. Buoys far away pinged, ponged, and chimed in the distance, sending out their distress call to those who would never be able to do much about it. Everything felt rather fishy. The air smelled of irradiation and death. Certainly the smell would clear up when far enough on the water? If one looked carefully they could see a cut in the cloud cover on the horizon. So the taint had to end at some point, even if it bled into waters outside the boundary.
As for the building that was once a bait and tackle shop, it was reinforced like a fortress, with a couple cameras and a turret outside. Fear's eyes followed it, and the barrel followed him. He was in the lead, with the other three trailing behind him.
Fear knocked on the door to the shop-turned-home as Acrid stared at him. Those feelings of admiration were stronger than ever, and while they reminded him of a time long past, of feelings long dormant, it also made him increasingly uncomfortable in his presence. It was suffocating.
The door opening was a divine act of mercy, and Fear immediately took a step forward as a camera remained trained on him and his team. “Hello?” The stallion on the other side, while gruff, was incredibly tentative. “You know I'm closed at the moment right? Come back another time if you want to go diving for loot.” His wavy red head ducked out of the way of the door, but Fear immediately put his hoof in the doorway.
“I'm sorry to bother you this late. But we're kind of in a hurry. We need to get to Abyssinia.”
The stallion blinked a couple times, then squinted at Fear. “You know there's a giant monster keeping ponies from leaving too far past the harbor right? ...And those glowing eyes...” The azurite-eyed stallion glanced inside. Fear cocked his head to the side. The stallion looked back. “Purple mane... gray fur. Unnaturally small. Sword.” He shook his head a few times. “Marvelous Spiral? Except the scar wasn't mentioned, so that's not possible...”
That was the second time that day Fear had heard it. But not the second time he'd been getting curious looks, and ponies trying to peer under his saddlebags discretely. “Uhh. Okay. I gotta ask. Who is this Marvelous Spiral everyone's talking about?”
Gentler rolled his eyes and tapped the young stallion on the shoulder. “Fear, you remember what your cutiemark looks like right?”
As the impact of what had been going on lately settled in, Faith gasped, a hoof over her mouth, Acrid stared bug-eyed, and Fear froze up.
Fear did not only freeze up, his hooves came together, a blush crept across his cheeks, and his eyes widened and bulged out, pupils shrinking. Wait wait wait wait. Ponies had been hearing about him? How?Why? Fear's blush intensified for the second time that day until it looked like a red rag had nestled across his face. It spread into his eyes, and his lips pursed, undulating slightly. He opened his mouth to speak while bolting his head between Gentler and the unknown stallion over and over again before his knees locked up and he collapsed to the side while letting out a squeak.
Only for Gentler to 'ope' and catch him. “Careful Fear. Jeeze.” Then he looked up to the stallion. “Why don't you tell us what this Marvelous Spiral is said to have been doing and we'll figure it out that way?”
“Sheesh,” the stallion whistled. “Don't you guys pay any attention to the DJ? You have a radio with you right there.” He pointed at Fear's mother's radio. “There's been talk on broadcasts that some colt with a rainbow spiral as a cutiemark has been going around being a hero. Beating dragons, saving a desert town from a ghoul, and most recently there was an interview about how he saved a small village, and possibly many others years ago. There's been speculation he was also the cause behind King Solanum's death too. There's no way you're him, right? DJ would've mentioned such a massive mark, and a hero wouldn't freeze up from a little recognition, nor would he be that small no matter how unnatural the DJ said it was.”
Fear was breathing rapidly, popping his hoof into his mouth and sucking. He couldn't think. Couldn't register anything. All that was on his mind was. Ponies look up to me. It was a bittersweet feeling, full of regret, full of terror, full of doubt, and full of pride. So many conflicting feelings barraging his brain that he'd long since checked out of the conversation.
Gentler pulled the young stallion to the side and cracked his knuckles. “Yes, this is the Marvelous Spiral. Rainbow spiral cutie mark and all.” The cat stared at his gauntlets with lidded eyes, watching how they reflected the light. “You can look for yourself, he's the real deal. I don't suppose you're willing to give us a discount on some gas and a ship for it?” There was a low coo to his voice.
The stallion barked. “Yeah right! I'd give you it for free if you could promise the removal of that stupid beast haunting the waters leading there! Do you have any idea how much business I'd rake in if that thing were gone!? You're from Abyssinia so you should know. The Watcher is a Celestia damned nightmare for us!”
Gentler grinned from ear to ear and hunkered down a bit. “I like what you're saying,” he purred. “We have business in Abyssinia. I'm going home. So we need your help to get there. We'll take care of the Watcher, you just give us a boat in return. Sound good?”
The stallion shook his head. “Fine. But I also want an autograph from the Spiral. It'll sell for a lot, and either way it'll make for a great memento if you guys do manage to kill it.” He paused, then lifted an eyebrow. “You guys really going right away huh?”
Gentler nodded, flexing his fingers. “Right away,” he confirmed. “I'm sorry but I never caught your name sir, what was it again?”
“Pierre Till. Who are you three? The DJ mentioned an entourage helped Spiral with the desert but no names were ever given.”
Fear was hyperventilating.
Gentler reached back and kicked him to calm him down. “I'm the Amazing Stoic.” He gestured to Faith. “This is the Preacher.” Then he motioned to Acrid. “This is the Earth Bending Ancient.”
Pierre was a little confused for a moment, just staring at the others and their strange names. “Odd names, but certainly good enough to get on the radio. Whew. I might have to send a scavver to Tenpony Tower or something with this information. I'm sure it'd be incredibly useful. Now. About my autograph?”
Gentler glanced back behind him. Then to Pierre. “We're probably going to need a little while. He has a few hang ups to get over. It's not every day you find out you're a hero because you rarely listen to the radio.” His voice was gentle, charming. “You should get the ship ready while we get the Spiral up and at 'em. Sound good?”
Pierre nodded. “Fine with me. Just make sure he hurries up. From the sounds of it you four don't have all night.”
Gentler stood up and looked down at Fear, cracking his knuckles again beneath the gauntlets, his lemon eyes shimmering. “Well aren't you full of surprises Fear?” He stated as the door closed behind them.
Fear was not used to giving out autographs. No, he was not, not in the slightest. Like all things in his life, he'd done his best though. Even if he didn't think he deserved it, his own thoughts about himself didn't mean that someone who genuinely wanted it should get a half-assed, slipshod iteration of his name on a piece of paper. So he'd gone the full few miles. 'Marvelous Spiral' in his best hornwriting overlaid a bubble of his jagged cutiemark, emitting little rays of light. Fear was the type of pony to do nearly everything with all his heart, and that included making ponies happy, however wrong about it they were.
He just wished he could calm his fucking nerves now as they headed to a nearby apartment complex to wait the half a night it'd take to get a boat up and running. Doing things on such short notice was a pain in the ass sometimes, but if you wanted the best you had to take what you could get.
In the apartment complex, the other three were in the other room laughing about how adorably Fear had reacted to being called the Marvelous Spiral and trying to think of ways to get him to go through it again, while Fear busied himself in another room calling upon Discord. Some things still bothered him, and it was primarily because he'd just been called a hero in front of his squad. Not only that, but they'd gotten the short end of the stick. If he ever went to Tenpony Tower he was going to set the record straight about his own past, and about his family. Tell the real stories, no matter how unbelievable they were. Give credit where credit was due.
It started with a whisper. “Discord? You there?” It was frustrating that his family seemed okay with the fact that he was a hero in the eyes of others now. Shouldn't they want that fame for themselves? That made the most sense. He'd always wanted to be famous, but now that he had it... he didn't deserve it. He couldn't be happy with it.
Discord's presence appeared on Fear's radar. It was thick but not oppressive. Constantly shifting and transforming. It felt more like the air of a circus than the air of a demigod. It seeped into everything, got into his hooves. It was sticky. The sheer presence on Discord in reality was far stronger than in dream.
Except there was no body.
All Fear heard was a voice in his head. “Calling upon me again hm? I'm not going to lie, I half expected you to be calling on me to give you gasoline for the trip.”
Fear sat down on his haunches against a bed and rubbed his temples with his hooves. I doubt you'd help me with it anyway. You seem to be on a very help-as-little-as-possible route. And I'm not sure why. You say you're helping, but I don't really see it. You just seem to be encouraging more than anything.
The voice in Fear's head took mock offense to that. “You're not looking at the big picture. I am of course helping. It is because of me that there is enough fuel for the boats that Pierre can find. It is because of me that there's still a reason for ponies to go out into the bay, and the ability to do so. It is dangerous, but there will always be daredevils out there who wish to accomplish the impossible to make a living. I am just quietly doing subtle chess movements in the background while I look for the ponies necessary to accomplish a much... broader mission.”
Fear narrowed his eyes, cocking his head to the side and contemplating Discord's words. So he was looking for specific ponies? A thought occurred to him, but he would not reveal his hoof. It was unlikely, but that was the best answer to why Discord needed him. It made no sense anyway. Could there be new ponies to wield those? How would it even help? A way to save the wasteland hm? There were pieces missing. What so you've been planning this since day one? Ever since you got out?
“Relatively,” Discord answered softly. “Someone had to connect the two nations, however temporarily, even if Panthera uses their navy to protect themselves from potential raiders after it all.”
There's something you're not telling me. There's a reason you chose this out of all the possible routes to keep maintained.
There was silence for awhile. It spread for an eternity and Fear wasn't sure Discord would ever speak again. If it wasn't for his presence, he'd daresay the draconequus had left. “I suppose I can tell you that much. In order to cultivate friendship, one must be able to see many sights and hear many sounds. Meet many creatures, and learn how to either solve issues, or accept what cannot be changed. It is the same way your Fearshatter spell works. For friendship to form, there must be strong connections, strong epiphanies. Powerful lessons. Without these lessons, we are no stronger than a foal, a nymph, a whelp, a kitten, or any other baby creature. Do you understand?”
Pressing his hooves against his eyes, certain he knew where all this was going, but without proof to make sense of it, Fear responded. Just how do you know all of this? How do you know what's going to happen, Discord? Do you have a connection to the Seer's Eye or the Crystal Heart? Wasn't that destroyed after the war?
Another long silence. Considering his words carefully. Discord could tell Fear was catching on. “I'm a master manipulator Fear. There may be those who are impossible to change without magical means, but otherwise everyone has their motivations, and their weak points. You'd do well to keep that in mind as you grow older.”
But why me? Certainly there were far more worthy ponies for whatever you have planned.
“Worthiness has nothing to do with it. Growth is the law of the land, whether you're changing, or you're changing the world around you. Chrono Corona, your sister, or so many other ponies were just as likely to be in your place in this moment. Maybe not exactly here, but you get the point. You've wracked up quite the resume, Marvelous Spiral. If you keep this up you'll see it bear fruit. I told you by the end of this, if you make it to the end, you'll see you're not the imposter you believed yourself to be. Just have a little faith.” Discord's speech ended there. But Fear didn't let him disappear.
Chrono? How long have you been following me?
“Ever since that wicked stallion was killed by your hoof. I'd been following him for awhile, considering how to get him to change himself. There are various renditions of our little play, as you know Fear. Differences in how events play out, how goals are achieved, and times where others get a chance to have their own level of importance. You just happened to catch my eye, is all.”
Fear huffed. Yeah, but there must've been a reason you considered me able to take this role, whatever it is you have planned.
“I don't know what it was about you, Marvelous Spiral. Maybe it was the fact you'd just learned something important, that you saw fit to talk to your mother about your feelings. Maybe it was the modesty I could hear in your voice. I just happened to come across you. Nothing more. In life all we have is luck. That's all this was.” Discord finished with a flair of his voice. “Now. Your family is coming in to talk to you about a new experience. I would recommend taking them up on the offer. It's not every day you get to try new things.”
Discord... Fear murmured uncertainly in his mind.
“Now. Tah-tah. And try to get used to your new title. It's clear it makes you uncomfortable. I see that look on your face every time I use it. The way you cringe.” And with that Discord's presence faded. Fear knew he was still there, but was taking his leave for now.
Is he truly dispersing himself everywhere? Just focusing on me? Is he focusing on anyone else? I hope so. There are still a lot of questions. I'm not sure I have answers to all of them, just theories. But I suppose that's how it must remain. How much does he know?
And with that there was a knock on the door. It was Gentler, Fear could feel.
“You calmed down now, Spiral?” The cat teased.
Fear shot back readily, finally in control of himself. “You know it's Nightlight right? That's my real nickname.”
“Pah! It's definitely Marvelous Spiral now!” Faith called out.
Fear squeezed his eyes shut, unable to help grinning. “Fine. I guess it's Spiral. For now. But you guys can stick with Nightlight okay? That's what I am. That's what my Mom called me.”
Faith moved in and swept a hoof through Fear's mane, smooching him on the forehead. “Fine. But you should really learn to handle your fame better.”
“I shouldn't even be famous. I don't do it for the fame.”
Acrid huffed, leaning on the doorway. “It's how you deal with your fame that defines you, Fear. Don't let it go to your head and you're fine.”
“Doesn't matter. We're going to Abyssinia soon,” Fear responded, “and no one will know me there for sure.”
Gentler's legs and arms were crossed over each other. “Don't be too sure about that Fear. Your stories will spread eventually.”
Fear knew that intent. That was the intent Gentler got whenever he was going to tell stories. “You wouldn't dare.”
Gentler leaned forward and booped Fear on the snout. “Oh I dare.”
The paw pressing into Fear like a button caused his snout to wrinkle up, his eyes crossing over. He took a couple steps back, his chest spasming as he breathed in a couple times, eyes rolling into the back of his head. He leaned back, and jerked forward letting out a little pixie sneeze as his hooves crossed over each other, eyes squeezed shut.
“D'aww that was so incredibly adorable!” Faith chortled.
“Wow, so that's everyone's new hero huh? Unable to handle a little snoot boop?”
Fear rubbed his snout with a hoof, trying to get the feeling to go away. “Gentler! Stop it!” A whine tinged his voice.
“Anyways, we're not here to tease you Fear. We're here to offer you and Acrid a chance to try something new. Faith's already done it, so have I. You remember how Pep told you to try new things right?”
Fear shook his head a few times, still rubbing off his muzzle. “Yeah, why?” Uncertainty tainted his tone. Then it occurred to him. “What's the drug?”
“Nymph,” Gentler stated. “The pharmacist had some Gumdrop too but I figured psilocybin wasn't strong enough for a first time.”
“Strong enough for a first time? You want me to trip my brains out?” Fear took a step forward, his mouth opening up wide to emphasize the words.
Gentler just smirked, his ears twisting. “Faith and I will be here to make sure you both don't have a bad trip. After some convincing, Acrid's already agreed.”
Acrid spoke up. “I wasn't sure at first because drugs were usually looked down on back during the war in Equestria. ...Unless you were a soldier, and even then it wasn't... great. But a little recreation never hurt anyone. Life as I knew it isn't around anymore. Might as well live a little, y'know?”
Fear glanced to Acrid and flicked his ears, frowning slightly. “I... suppose. Alright. You sure you got us covered if it's a bad trip?”
Gentler nodded once, curtly. “Yep.”
Faith lifted a hoof and bobbed her head too. “Indeed, Fear. We won't let anything bad happen to you two.”
Gentler pulled out a pair of LSD capsules, tossing one to Fear, who grabbed his in his magic. Acrid reached out with a hoof to grab his.
Fear stared down at his pill, then looked up to watch Acrid ingest his. After a moment he looked down. I guess this is a good idea. Maybe I'll like it. Maybe I'll have a good trip. Maybe it won't be all nightmare creatures from all my trauma? What is acid like anyway? Fear popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed. This is it, don't get scared now.
The squad conversed for awhile, talking about what they might see, what they might hear, overall just the whole experience to get them prepped for the sensation of tripping balls. Fear's heart was hammering. Acrid was calm. It took awhile but Acrid was the first to go under, his pupils dilating and seeming far away, occasionally moving, however little.
Gentler commented, arms crossed. “Huh, that pharmacist knew her stuff. Laced the Nymph with muscle relaxants to keep movement to a minimum.”
Fear was the next to undergo the process. As he stared at his friend suddenly everything was wibbly wobbly, his eyes darting around looking at everything. There was a sense of vertigo, everything seeming distant, like he was extremely high up even though he was barely inches off the ground. He stared down at the floor, wobbled a bit, his muscles having a hard time responding. His jaw hung open. He looked up, and suddenly there were infinite Grandpa Jacks wandering around the room doing various things. One was staring into a wastebasket, another was jumping up and down on the bed, one hung from the ceiling light. There were Jacks wandering around Fear in circles. And others were in the walls with their heads poking out. All of them spoke at once, the words echoing and reverberating across everything. Fear fell back against his haunches, drooling freely as he listened to the cacophony.
“Dear diary,” Jack's voice sounded out, their lips moving but not seeming to match the words. “Got super high with my little Gumdrop and talked to a pumpkin. Turns out I can make them grow massive, crazy high, just like me. Jack out!” And suddenly the ones in the walls receded while the necks of those walking around Fear like hieroglyphs snapped backward, then twisted around in whirling circles, flowing into all the colors of the rainbow, the Jack's hanging out doing random things floating around as if in water, swimming around.
Fear fell down onto his back and groaned, his pupils far surpassing his irises.
The figures coiled around him, looking down at him. The world spun. The ceiling light lens flared. It was so bright. Suddenly Fear was zooming through a tunnel into outer space, able to see stars and so many other things, nebulas surrounding him, black holes in the distance. His eyes lidded. He was cast out into the vastness of space. There wasn't quite any panic to him. It felt more relaxing than anything even though he knew he should be concerned. Space around him twisted at dizzying speeds, stars melting into each other, moons and planets orbiting around him like he was a sun. Then surreally the celestial bodies morphed and seeped into dancing cans of food with stick arms and legs. Laughing pies waltzed around him in a circle. Singing pumpkins soared overhead through space.
“Feeeeeear.” One pumpkin called out to him.
“You must save us Feeeeeear” another continued.
“You must rescue the pumpking!” One more finished.
The chorus of pumpkins continued and Fear squeezed his eyes shut, but they were still there, on the inside of his eyelids. Scouring through space and time. Slices of pumpkin pie slid off their plates and eddied around him, ebbing and flowing, contracting and repelling. They formed eyes on the meat and blinked at him. One reached out a hand to grab his hoof. Fear reached up with a hoof to join, and was suddenly taken on a magical journey across a land of sunshine and rainbows, riding inside a pumpkin carriage like a princess, watching fields of flowers pass him by, under a blanket of night sky.
Fear was headed toward a castle in the distance. Everything felt slow as molasses, and Fear's body blurred in front of him as he tried to move. He was led through corridor after corridor, twisting and spiraling around him, before settling into place. Then the next second he was descending into the glorious depths of the castle, down... up? Into the tower that touched the moon. Fear looked out the window of this new tower, like he was being guarded by a dragon.
And saw Amelio on the face of the moon.
Amelio's face looked down at him and mouthed some words that he couldn't make out.
After awhile the sound cascaded down over him. “Fear what are you doing sitting around? You have a job to do!”
Fear blinked a few times, cocking his head to the side. Suddenly he was flying out through the window, soaring through the clouds. The wisps of cotton candy brushed against his body, and soon enough his body was tearing at rapid speeds over them, heading to a giant mountain in the distance. Wind pushed back against him and he felt like he was going to throw up.
At the mouth of the cave Fear alighted on a cliff, and was sliding across like a conveyor belt into the caverns deep inside. Fear lifted a hoof to protect himself from the incoming wall, but he passed right through it and was in a bigger, larger expanse that gave him a headache to think about. It stretched forever. And in the middle of it was his mother, or a figure like her. She had no soul presence.
Fear stared blankly at her as her body moved sluggishly toward him, occasionally glitching out like the Surreal, twisting around, and stuttering. She stopped next to him and stared. She felt so real, even if she wasn't real at all. He knew this figment. She was familiar.
“You recognize me?”
Fear's voice was a low drawl due to the difficulty in speaking. “Of course I do. You were with me for years.”
Storm brought her forelegs together, her smile creeping into closed eyes as she leaned her head to the side. “I'm glad.”
It wasn't exactly his mother. It was something else. But she gave him a sense of calm. It was an altogether different entity.
“I thank you for keeping me in your life as long as you did. And while I can't always be there for you anymore Fear, a small part of me will always give you strength and protect you, just like in the past. Just like your mother.”
Fear felt nauseous again, violently so. His face turned green.
“You and I both know I needed you more than you needed me, but I can still be of use. Thank you for visiting me.”
And then she sang a song. Her voice was familiar. His body phased through her but her voice caressed his mind.
It wasn't the exact same song as the one his mother sang to him on the cusp of the afterlife... something was different about it. Different for a different entity. It had been less his mother and more a splinter of her and himself. Both of them at once.
Soon enough he was gliding across the exoverse, strings of gossamer surrounding him, stretching into the void like roots or streams. Fear looked around wildly, seeing something in the distance. A giant machine that stretched into infinity above itself, with six cushions surrounding it, vague silhouettes of artifacts placed atop them.
“Death is just a temporary evolution into something more.”
Fear recognized that voice. It was the same one he'd heard in the Exoverse years ago. His breathing was heavy, nearly hyperventilating. The words made sense as his body slid along nothing and everything, trailing over timelines that he could've sworn he could see into, the taint of the Seer's Eye powerful in that one moment. I have evolved, just a bit, through my struggles, deaths, and failures.
While Fear was busy riding out his acid trip, Gentler and Faith watched as the young stallion constantly shifted, transforming in various ways, his hooves sharpening, ears elongating, tongue forking, sometimes becoming blocky, irises and the entirety of his fur changing color in segments. Things grew out, shedded off, then was replaced. His body always morphing in strange ways from the stimulation to his brain, drooling all over the floor.
Acrid though was having a less stellar experience. Seeing zombie versions of your parents among many other things was unpleasant in the best of times.
As the group set off in the S.S. Dingy, Fear rested in the cabin of the metal and wood ship, made up of just an entryway, a hallway, and a few different rooms. He was in one of those rooms with his family's gear overlaid each other. While the rest were saying farewell to Pierre, Fear couldn't – too shy at the moment. The signature had taken all the courage he had out of him. At the moment all he could bring himself to do was dwell on the differences between his and Acrid's trips. Whereas Fear's had been happy and euphoric even if a little concerning because of how vivid it was, Acrid's had been terrifying, paranoid, heart wrenching, and sweat inducing. Poor stallion had a lot of hangups still it seemed. Fear wasn't sure what they were, what he could even have bothering him other than maybe that...
Hint of admiration.
Whatever.
Fear curled up around himself, as they got ready to set off. He didn't want to be on deck where all the irradiated and tainted water was. He'd come out once they were in... moderately fresh seas. Something bothered him though. The trip had been enlightening. Who was that figure of his mother deep inside of him? I'd known her at the time but now I can't place my hoof on it. Hmm. So Fear did the only thing he could do, ask the one who'd recommended he try it.
“Discord?”
Again that vague, chaotic presence was back. A little cloying, sticky on the mind. Humid. “Yes, Fear?”
Fear grinned from ear to ear as he leaned his head on a hoof while laying down.
“Before you even dare think it, I am not at your beck and call.”
Yes, yes. Fear responded. I know. If you were you would've been helping us with all these trials. He pushed his hooves together in front of him, laying on his side. How did you know I'd have that experience?
“I didn't,” Discord responded with more simplicity than Fear was comfortable with.
Fear's brows furrowed a little, muzzle screwing up. That was weird. Doesn't feel like he's lying or sending me false signals...
“That's because I'm not, little colt.” Discord's mind settled down next to Fear, and while he could not feel an actual body, he felt a change in air pressure next to his stomach as if something had curled up next to him.
Huh. Then why'd you recommend it? It can't be that simple right?
“It is that simple Fear. I just felt you needed a few new experiences under your belt. Though I won't say I didn't not expect you to encounter that figure from your past.” Discord mused, chuckling lowly.
What? How did you know about that? How can you know about what I saw during my acid trip? Fear was confused, so much so it showed on his dazzled face.
“You're the clever one, you figure it out. Besides, you're far more enticing when you're finding answers for yourself, taking care of your own problems.” Discord was infuriatingly arrogant in that moment. Yet Fear also knew what he meant... he found himself attractive when he was relying on his own power too.
It was nice to rely on others, but something about seeing how he could do something on his own was... refreshing. If I had to guess... I'd say chaos magic. But specifically... you can see inside the minds of others, which would explain why you're such a potent manipulator.
“Ding ding ding! Correct! Minds are inherently full of chaos, and I am chaos' demigod. If anything, brains are true order and disorder incarnate. It has rules, but you cannot always predict it. I just latch onto those more... chaotic things.” Fear was certain Discord was twirling a paw in his mind's eye.
So... who was that figure I saw? Unless you want me to tell you? Fear smirked stupidly at nothing and everything.
“I do indeed. This is your journey Fear. I am only here as a stepping stool. You can do this yourself.”
Hmm... well she felt like a splinter of both myself and my mother. Like something was leftover from her death, but I manifested her. I don't know the name for anything like that, but I'm sure she's a creation of my mind, using whatever remained from her. Fear's thoughts were a little rambly.
“Close. Discuss it with Princess Luna later and she'll give you the exact answer.”
What? Not going to be the one?
Discord hummed. “Little Loony's expertise on the matter is far more elaborate. Our fields may overlap, but nonetheless. The time will come.”
Anyone ever tell you you're childishly cryptic? Fear wondered, nearly speaking aloud.
“If I helped everyone fully to the best of my ability the world would be no fun, Fear! You know that well enough. If you know everything that's going to happen then the joy in life is lost.” Discord's voice was exuberant, that of an excited teacher.
Hmm... I guess. I know where you're coming from. Especially after my recent musings. It does seem rather unfair for the one the most in the know to be assisting to that level. Fear's inner voice became a murmur.
“However, I can at least tell you one thing, due to the fact you won't ever be finding information on it yourself.” Discord's voice was teasing.
Oh? What's that? Genuine curiosity.
“The Watcher, as the ponies down here so call it, is actually known as the Overvalkying. It is a Pegasus creation meant to attack outgoing ships, though not incoming, to prevent Equestria from tainting outside civilizations. The Enclave may be high and mighty up there in their little clouds, where they keep all their current military masses, but they are not ones to interfere in others coming to help here.”
Huh. While that sounds almost... noble. I'm sure the only reason for that is due to them not having the resources to spare. I don't know how they get what they do above the clouds, but I have theories. It only makes sense that they cloud farm and such. Or that they've been trading with other nations.
“Once again you show your cleverness with flying colors!” Discord nearly shouted in his brain.
Fear nickered. You really get a sadistic pleasure out of your machinations, don't you?
Discord guffawed. “Things are more interesting when you don't know how they're going to end, and you've already surprised me before. Like I've said before.”
Meditating with Shaybna now and then had become a kind of ritual over the preceding days. She was a good source of wisdom, having the age of the rocks she was made from. It was strange, talking in small part to the world itself and multiple pony's personalities merged into one. Shaybna was her own entity, just made up of many smaller parts.
“It sounds as if you have a long road ahead of you, Fear. With your friend Acrid showing his feelings toward you more and more, even if not acting on them... with your final journeys to Abyssinia and the Frozen North. You certainly don't have your work cut out for you.” Shaybna's voice was calm, succinct, melodical. Almost like Zecora's, if Fear had ever met her.
“I don't know what to do about Acrid's... love. It's taking me all I have just to admit that's the direction this is going. The fact that I feel some admiration toward him too is perturbing.” Concern was etched into Fear's voice.
“I recommend, Fear, that you just embrace it for what it is. If the future that terrorizes you in the night comes, then you deal with it at that point. Not before. Either way, I will be with you to the end.” The masked figure before him nodded sweetly.
“I suppose. I don't know.” Fear murmured, a hoof against his chin.
“By the way, regarding your journey.”
“Hm?”
Shaybna continued. “Even if we do manage to kill the Overvalkying, the pegasi may make a new one, or start setting up patrols.”
Fear scoffed, batting a hoof. “That's fine. We'll just knock them out and take their armor. Or something. I don't know. Either way it's not a huge deal.”
Shaybna was visibly impressed, even if it couldn't be seen under the mask, and only reflected back Fear's emotions. However momentary the confidence, however faux, it was inspiring.
Fear could tell his sword was surprised. “Fake it til you make it right?” Fear cracked a huge smile and swept a hoof through his mane.
That's when Fear started feeling a tap tap tap against his shoulder. “Hang on Shaybna. Someone's trying to get my attention.”
“Take all the time you need Fear.” Shaybna replied simply.
Fear pulled himself out of the void, out of the sword, out of the trance, and shook his head wildly with a dazed expression. And immediately noticed Acrid.
“Uh. Hey. Fear?” Acrid sounded awkward and out of place.
“Uh, yeah?” Fear replied dumbly, his eyes wide, jaw hanging. His heart locked up, thinking he knew where this was going, jaw snapping shut.
“I just wanted to apologize for how I've been treating you lately. You may've done some bad things in the past but that doesn't erase the good you've done in the present. I'm sure you've done all you can to make up for it and I just wanted to say I'm proud to call you a friend.”
Fear shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly, Discord rubbing off on him a bit. “Eh, it's fine. Thank you Acrid.” His heart began beating again, feeling relaxed. “We don't have time to get hung up on all the small things we've experienced in the past. All we can do is focus on the here and now. I'm sorry that acid trip brought up such bad memories and scenarios for you.”
Acrid wore a tentative smile, his eyebrows leaning outward. “Yeah, thanks Fear. To the future right?”
“To the future,” Fear responded back with a smile.
It took Fear awhile to come out from below deck, no way was he ever going to spend that much time around irradiated water, it was terrifying in all the worst ways. The idea of getting radiation sickness still sent chills and goosebumps flowing over his body whenever he thought of it. It brought out a shiver and made him squeeze his eyes shut. The ship had a pretty high waterline length, allowing it greater speed in the sea.
But that was all past when he came up from the cabins and greeted the sun, wholly and truly. Sleep could not do justice to the majesty that was this high hanging orb, hovering in the sky like it was kept up through sheer fusion power. It blared across the landscape, reflecting like twinkles over the waters, brightening the clear skies. Fear hadn't expected it, but alongside the feeling of warmth melting into his fur, there was also a keen smell that lingered on everything. He had very little associations with it, so it was far more lucid. The best descriptor one could apply to it was that it smelled like fresh laundry, in a sort of abstract way that Fear couldn't place because he'd never experienced it. It was a faint scent, and not exactly like that, but it was close enough. That was how it felt. Fresh. Clean. Pure. Energizing. Regenerative. Fear stood stock still on the deck, holding his head high, letting his eyes fall shut, and let it just bathe over him like he'd never felt it before. He could hear the sound of seagulls cawing in the distance, wandering over the waves looking for fish to eat.
All of a sudden the feeling of movement was far clearer. The sensation of the boat rocking, and how it was like the world moved underneath him and he was just along for the ride. He felt out of control, boundless, and free all at the same time, his heart beating faster, a sense of elation penetrating him to his core. Chest tremors was the primary symptom he experienced at that moment. Less due to anxiety, and more due to excitement. By no means was he at peace, it just seemed like he could go for a run, gallop among vibrant, fragrant flowers despite the smell of salty sea at his beck and call. His chest quivered and his jaw dipped, taking in a big, deep breath. It wasn't even stagnant out here on the open waters. It was... refreshing. And something he knew he'd be addicted to. How did ghouls handle not having this anymore? Fear opened his eyes, looking up at the sun and immediately regretting it, wincing, hissing, and pulling away. It was really bright. Now that the sensations were starting to settle he realized that all this time he'd had a foreleg held above his head, trying to block out some of it. It was hard to see. He had to squint. Fuck, the sun's harsh. Fear blinked a few times.
Still, he wasn't getting used to it. Having spent so long under cloud cover, in the shade, left him vulnerable. He looked to his comrades, all of whom were standing with him staring out to sea. Gentler had his arms crossed and he was appreciating the cool, gentle breeze that fluttered through his cloak. Acrid looked like he'd seen a ghost. And Faith was marveling, nearly prostrating herself while she visibly and audibly wept. She looked like she'd seen a goddess.
Fear glanced back to the sun, keeping his head bowed. Yeah, goddess was right. Fear knew what the sun was in essence, as Luna had told him. A ball of incessantly pulsating fusion energy, a conglomeration of magic and physical nature that created a type of plasma far outside of most's control. It was supposed to be huge up close, but here it looked more like a ping pong ball. Fear's eyes met the sun again, staring at it, squinting harder. When he looked away there was a black and purple mark in his vision that he blinked away. It was strange, seeing something so bright and mysterious. In the dream world he could easily look at it, more of a fixture or a memory than an actual construct.
During all his musing Fear didn't notice the sounds of seagulls tapering off. Everyone was still in awe, but Fear was focusing on the road ahead. They still had the plan in mind right? It was going to go well. He tried to calm himself down. It was difficult, because the majesty of the sun inspired connections in his brain long thought dormant, teasing something primal in him. Something about himself... he tried to put his hoof on it, or rather his hoof pressed against his chin as he fell once more into a reverie, his chest purring from the sheer level of enthusiasm pouring in him.
Amelio often compared him to a sun. Fear ruminated on that thought, it was an interesting idea, that he could be as strong as a ball of plasma one day. Starting out in the low end of the spectrum and slowly climbing his way up by eating more and more knowledge, practicing his rear end off in the hopes of one day being the best. Then again, he didn't want to be the best... just wanted to protect, maybe guide. As Fear stared at the orb of light hanging over him in the horizon, mysterious thoughts penetrated his fugue. Thoughts about his afterlife, thoughts about his previous lives, thoughts about the world at large, where it was headed, and whether it was supposed to heal. Were they supposed to fix this world one day or was it supposed to remain this way for them to learn from? Were they supposed to eventually die out like a candle's flame or were they supposed to improve? My failures have taught me much, but is Saway right? Must we learn purely from the things we cannot do and the aggression we harbor toward each other? Or are we more than this? More than ourselves? Are we meant to become incredible? Fear hummed to himself, the sun inspiring all those feelings deep within him. How could you be as mighty as a sun? He'd always been a weakling, and it hadn't been until his mother died that he'd become... capable with telekinesis.
Fear's emotions spurred him onward. His conflicts developed him. His failures made him mighty, but his successes were also products of his current self. He tried his best to learn from the little things he did wrong, in order to do them right the next time. When I fought Solanum way back when, I announced myself before I killed him. Have I truly learned to harness the element of surprise more thoroughly? Fear chuckled to himself. Man, if the others could hear my thoughts right now they'd tease me for reading so much. The star was calming, thought-provoking, and mind-numbing. Which were all bad things for what was about to happen.
Gentler had told Fear stories, but it still wasn't enough to prepare him for what emerged from the water staring intently at them. Fear took a few steps back, his jaw hanging open in shocked silence, the others slowly coming out of their own stupors as shifting mereon eyes glared into them like they'd trespassed on sacred land. The creature was huge, about three times larger than their boat, with slimy pale green skin. A cthulhu-esque monstrosity with leathery, sliced up wings and various fins lining its body to aid in swimming, its feet flippers. Fear pulled his sword free from its scabbard, getting into a battle ready stance, shooting a glance to his comrades as the abomination, the Watcher, the Overvalkying rose from the surface of the water into the air, a few slender tentacles writhing behind it, coming out of its tail bone. Flailing.
Fear got low to the deck and used his telekinesis inside the nearby helm to bring the ship to a stop.
Faith burst from her place to grab her weapon.
Gentler made himself a smaller target.
Acrid was frozen in place with wide, fearful eyes.
The plan had been simple. Acrid was supposed to hide out in the cabins, Gentler was supposed to paralyze it, Fear to draw its attention, and Faith to blast it to bits with her Alicannon.
That wasn't quite how it worked out.
It wasn’t so much due to being caught unaware, as it turned out to be a little more than even the rumors and stories described.
Fear tensed up, bringing the sword close to his face. He didn't have time to focus on the others, because in those matrix eyes he sensed power and speed beyond his wildest imagining, far beyond what Drax was capable of.
It was the first time in a long time that the young stallion felt truly afraid and discouraged. Paralyzed almost, but less by a psychic pressure and more by actual, genuine intimidation.
He saw it coming like it was second nature. Fear dove to the side just as a whip-like tentacle came crashing down on the ship, severing it nearly in half, immediately taking on water. Everyone was knocked nearly off their hooves from the impact. The metal screeched, steel tore. Fear barely had time to move. He looked back, horrified.
The creature was more intelligent than it let on. Of course by destroying their mode of transportation they were dead in the water, no matter how well they fared otherwise.
Fear grit his teeth.
He leaped off the boat, making hoof-sized pads of telekinesis to launch himself into the air bit by bit, bringing sword to greet tentacle. The Watcher intended to smash their boat to pieces and leave them dead to rights.
He wouldn't let that happen.
Fear barely had time to react to the change in intention as the Overvalkying read his body language and came to meet him. It didn't matter how much you could read intent if you were trapped into a move.
As Fear brought the sword up and around, he had barely enough time to throw himself in a somersault with telekinesis, another tentacle coming around and whiffing with deadly precision where his barrel had just been, nearly nicking his horn.
The Overvalkying wasn't done yet, bringing a tentacle down on where Fear was at that moment in an effort to slam him back down into the boat. The flying ones were the most dangerous.
Fear audibly gasped as his mind lit up with fire. He knew then he couldn't avoid the tentacle because it would hit the boat and shatter their transport even worse. He couldn't take that hit either.
Instinct flared up as his body finished its flourishing spin. Time slowed down, his body was whirling, the tentacle coming down onto his head.
No time, no slack to pay attention to his comrades. Whatever they were doing was far beyond him right then.
Fear brought the sword up and around, with one mighty hurrah, his horn sparking as enormous amounts of magic surged to his defense, too quickly for comfort, in order to swipe through the tentacle with his sword.
Aura overlays came and went over his horn and the sword.
The tentacle connected with the sword.
Sword cleaved in an arc.
Tentacle shoved to the side with a loud metallic CLANG.
Fear was falling, still spinning. Dizziness overtook him, unable to tell up from down.
The Overvalkying pirouetted like it was nothing.
Fear didn't even feel it when the hand swung around and impacted with his body, too thrown off course. One second he was hanging in the air, the next something connected with him, the third he was flying through the air out into open sea.
There was a scream.
Fear didn't realize it was his own. Eyes wide, jaw open. Sword falling leaving his field of influence and falling toward the boat.
Panic overcame him.
Fear forced himself to think.
Slow down momentum.
Fear obeyed his instinct, bobbing his head once and trying to control himself, still caught in a constant somersault, needing to throw up. He closed his eyes tight and surrounded his body with telekinesis, draining the momentum from his body. He was yards away from the boat. He was falling.
The Overvalkying was getting ready to destroy everything.
Fear's life flashed before his eyes.
SPLASH!
The young stallion crashed into the water, his screw necklace nearly slipping from around his neck, barely avoiding entering head-first. However his side ached. He hissed.
Tried not to breathe in.
Water all around. Murky.
Fear opened his eyes. It stung. His ribs were sore. His entire right side twitched in buzzing pain. There was nothing he could do but get back to the ship and rely on the others!
First thing's first. His intuition spoke to him like it was another entity altogether, yet still him. Ever since the ocean in the Surreal's dreambubble, he'd been learning more from Emulae. Transform. Fear pumped changeling magic into his hooves and neck, altering biology on a complex and terrifying level, at a rapid speed. Slits formed in his throat and his hooves grew outward and elongated, forming temporary gills and flippers respectively. Fear immediately burst into action, using intellect rather than street smarts to swim his way back.
Fear would have held his breath for longer, but he hadn't caught much. The gills were imperfect, terrible things. They felt uncomfortable and the water filtering into them burned like salt in an open wound. It nearly froze him to the spot, but his concern for his family overturned it. He pumped his legs, all four, pushing himself forward. His vision vignetted and he could see bright splotches of rainbow light from the nerves in his retinas threatening to die on him. In some ways he felt like he was suffocating, not getting enough air. Breathing out through his mouth in order to deposit the water getting inside of him.
Have to hurry!
Fear rushed as fast as his newly-grown flippers would take him, equines not made for swimming. His eyes rolled into the back of his skull, trying to push out the feeling of chilly death creeping into his brain, its fingers lacing around his lobes and threatening to claim him. He hurt all over, especially his lungs. Like they were going to burst.
What do I do when I get there? Are the others following the plan? Can Faith blow its head off?
Fear shook his head. No time for that right now.
Taking as deep a breath as he could, not stopping to enjoy the sights of undersea life, Fear got close enough to the ship and filled his body with magic, morphing into shadows and fusing to the underside of the... not wrecked ship? What happened?
Fear needed a break. He needed to take a moment and rest. His body hurt even in the shadows, as if his form would fall apart into threads of shade. But he couldn't have a reprieve, he needed to get to the deck. He slid underneath, up along the side, and let out a cry of even worse pain as the sunlight tried to sear away his flesh and scatter him into nothingness. He couldn't even take less than a second of the agony.
The young stallion let go of the ship, suddenly out in open air despite it having sunk half a foot, breeze surrounding his entire form. Fear flailed, grit his teeth, and screamed. Again. Someone catch me!? Fear looked up at the rim around the ship, realized no one was going to be able to save him. His eyes widened, pupils dilating. And he did the only thing that came to mind.
Use magic.
Fear's horn hurt like Tartarus in that single moment, feeling like his thaumic gland was going to blow up, not used to having this much emotion funneled into it in such a short time.
Telekinesis surrounded his body and, while he did not have the strength to catch or float himself, it gave him a few extra seconds of descent in order to catch his wits and hyup off more telekinetic pads. Fear jumped to the railing of the ship and wrapped his forelegs over it, hind legs skittering against it, clacking against metal, and eventually clambering up it and getting himself onto the deck, completely soaked in salt water.
Still, it wasn't done yet.
Fear was given a single moment to take stock of the situation. The boat was repaired. Acrid was cowering. Gentler was giving it his all to stay on top of the Watcher and pepper it in blows. Occasionally his gauntlets and greaves managed to dent it, and other times it seemed like he was running up it vertically like a ninja. And Faith was using the Alicannon to slam away tentacles while charging up energy to fire, which the creature seemed apt to dodge, all while the two tried to predict its movements and fight them both off at the same time.
It wasn't until that moment Fear realized he was panting and coughing up remnants of seawater. Fear pushed himself up and galloped toward Acrid with a stuttering step, reaching out with a hoof and picking up the sword with stickyhooves.
CLANG! Faith's weapon slammed home into a tentacle, knocking it off kilter. CRASH! Another tentacle came down, with Faith using her earth pony might to get in the way of it and shove it off, before firing off a bolt of energy from her weapon. VWOOM! At a tentacle that was trying to chop through the ship. It nearly blasted it to pieces, but the creature pulled away at the last second. Faith's dance continued in that way, seemingly random in motion. She was reactive, the Overvalkying aggressive.
Gentler's movements on the other hand were planned out and concise, attached to its spine with a gauntlet, then slamming a fist into its shoulder blade, nearly cracking it. He rolled to the other side, falling a little, attaching to its rear, and leapt up at a diagonal angle, grabbing onto the opposite shoulder. Then vaulted himself over and brought a leg around, slamming the greave straight into its face to leave a dent. The Overvalkying's hands tried desperately to catch and yank him off. The only conclusion that Fear could make was that It was like it was laced with some type of metal. Gentler was on the attack, slamming home again and again, but it continued to recuperate and claw at the cat. The combination of attacks was leaving it harried and incapable.
Fear didn't know what to make of any of it. His magic was getting low, he'd need some of the laxweed the squad brought with them after this fight. He was at a loss for words, at a loss for plans. He couldn't help the two like he was, and it seemed only a matter of time until his comrades' stamina fell apart and they failed here and now.
As Fear looked over the boat, seeing how the steel was discolored and unpainted in the parts it'd been repaired, another conclusion came to him. The cowering Acrid had managed to awaken his metal manipulation. He shot a glance at the older stallion and reached out a hoof to him, an idea coming to him. Then he looked back to the sun, gnashed his teeth together, and glared. Acrid took the proffered hoof, confidence coming back to his eyes.
“I thought you were dead for sure Fear!” Acrid sounded so terrified, his voice barely above a whisper.
Another VWOOMPF as Faith's weapon fired off again, this time at the base of the tendrils. The Overvalkying had heard the charge of energy and avoided it. It was a science experiment, and had killed many. Probably a collection of battle data inside whatever passed for a brain in its skull.
Fear gave Acrid a disarming smile and shrugged. “Gonna take more than a little overpowering to bring me down.” His heart palpitated. “I have an idea, but I'm gonna need your help Acrid.” He didn't give him an opportunity to respond. There was no time. “Can you summon the power you used to fix this boat in order to protect us from the sun?”
Acrid looked to Fear with wonder. “How did...?”
“Can you!?” Fear was firm.
“Y-yeah I can. Why?”
Fear nodded once, and whipped his tail to the side while glaring at the abomination. “Get ready to protect us with a shield of metal!” Then he called out to his comrades. “Gentler! Get ready to come down to the boat! Faith! Get ready to come over here!”
The two didn't even spare Fear a glance, but the young stallion knew they'd heard. He felt their intentions shift.
It was time. Time to assure their victory. That one, single thought rang through Fear's head like a church bell, sending off pulses of emotion flowing through his brain like static electricity, charging through his systems and making his legs tingle uproariously. He couldn't risk holding back. It was now or never to enact this plan. He stomped a hoof on the deck and let out a loud cry inside his mind, bringing to bare the faintest senses imaginable, summoning wavelengths that were normally invisible to the mind. He focused on the sun, focused on himself – his own internal warmth, and the warmth of the star that was going to be their guaranteed salvation.
Fear stepped forward, then leaned back, as if physically yanking on the sun's presence, bringing it to bare like a polished weapon. He could feel their wavelengths match, just like he'd practiced in the dream world. So much effort learning, trying to find and sync. All it needed was a little lucidity and some oomph. And then... Fear screamed. “GENTLER! FAITH! COME!” Fear's voice transcended space, magnified by magic. As if he was not telling his comrades to come, but calling out to the powers that be, deep in the vast reaches of space.
The Overvalkying seemed confused as it lashed out, trying to catch the two who assaulted it so, only for them to rush off and escape from its clutches. Just as it looked toward Fear with a hint of trepidation, seeing something in the young stallion's eyes that bothered its simple mind, the cowering stallion rushed forward and stomped its hooves on the deck, bringing up a thin wall of sheet metal that put itself together, doming over them, like everything around Acrid was made of nanomachines.
Fear screamed harder, matching the sun wave for wave, energy for energy, sprite for sprite, and enhancing it with sheer will, directing it with focus. His body twisted to the side. He couldn't see that blinding light anymore, completely overcome by shadow, but he felt the heat inside his mind, the light that shone on so much in their world. White filled his eyes, and his jaw dropped open, legs going weak. So... much... power! Fear almost lost himself in the cascade of strength ebbing against his mind, in the ocean of energy coalescing around his soul. It... was... intoxicating. He focused that plasma, collecting it as a single point, as if through a magnifying glass, concentrating the warmth and energy, the sheer ultraviolet rays.
The Watcher was about to crush the ship, lifting a tentacle to do the deed, but stopped and pondered for a moment as it felt something growing on its back. A pinprick of tingles that slowly expanded outward, before it stretched over his entire form like a blanket. Then it was burning in. It happened so quickly, that the only thing the creature could think was that someone else had joined the fray.
It flapped its wings and flailed, trying to get whatever was on its back, off. It wasn't helping much, and as it turned to face the sun, its mereon eyes nearly charred away into nothingness as the light intensified, becoming a beaming solar flare that seared into it's entire body. It lifted an arm to shield itself, feeling its own body begin to sizzle and blacken. Melting away. More and more heat singled on that one little point, burning a hole through its chest slowly but surely. The Overvalkying did the only thing it could: dive into the water to escape.
Fear sensed it, heard the splash, and let the spell go, gasping for breath like he'd spent hours deprived of oxygen, and collapsed to the ground.
It hadn't worked! Not like he'd expected. All that effort gone in one shot. There was no way he could bring himself to connect with the sun again. The Overvalkying was still alive, still going strong. It would be back soon enough.
Fear couldn't bare that thought. They were supposed to get rid of it!
Faith knelt down by Fear's side, stroking through the panting stallion's mane, trying to comfort him. The air behind the metal curtain was sweltering like the desert.
“I don't...” Fear tried to speak. “The Overvalkying's going to come back soon. I'm sure of it.”
Acrid balked. “What!? What are we supposed to do!? What did you do Fear!?”
Fear shook his head. “I don't know... I'm out of ideas.”
Gentler lifted a finger. “I have one idea. It's crazy but it might work.”
Fear glanced to the cat with newfound hope. Faith looked pleased.
Acrid seemed terrified. “What is it, Gentler?”
Gentler huffed and crossed his arms. “Acrid's going to have to be the one to save us. It seemed like the Watcher had some kind of metal laced in its body.”
Fear knew exactly where the Abyssinian was going with this, sitting up as his eyes brightened. “Is it possible? Acrid can you randomize it's entire body with your power?”
Acrid took a couple steps back. “What!? Me!? I don't... don't know. I barely was able to pull the ship back together. It's still got some water in it!”
Fear barked. “We don't have time Acrid! Can you or can you not do this!? We have no other choice!”
Acrid summoned as much courage as he could, breathing in deeply, chest rising, straightening his face, straining his muscles. “I can. Maybe. If Gentler gets me up there so I can touch it at its core.”
Gentler propped a thumbs up. “Can do, Root.”
Fear turned to Faith. “Faith can you distract it? I'm out for the count right now, as loathe as I am to admit it.”
Faith smiled sweetly, serenely. “I'll see what I can do Fear. Leave it to me.”
It sucked having to rely on everyone but himself right now, but if it was how this was all going to go down then... well. Fear couldn't think of anyone else he'd rather depend on in this situation. They had this on lock. “Well? Get to work guys.”
The group nodded. Gentler pulled Acrid up onto his back, getting him comfortable. “You ready to do this Acrid?” Gentler was oddly reverent for a second.
“I don't know. But I suppose it's all I can do for now. Thanks for this Gentler.” The older stallion steeled himself.
Faith readied her weapon on her back and prepped the shot.
All that was left to do was wait.
Which didn't take long at all.
When the Overvalkying realized the danger was over, its body still overly warm, it resurfaced to get back into the fray. It's prey must be very stupid if they didn't think to run when they had the chance.
Acrid didn't know what to make of any of this. Was he really going to be the hero in this situation? He had to try his best! He nestled on Gentler's back and grit his teeth. “Thanks Gentler,” he whispered.
Gentler harrumphed and adjusted the stallion, holding his rear with his hands. “Hold on tight Acrid. We're going high.”
Acrid nodded once, and glared at the steel curtain separating them.
Time stood still for a few moments, Fear hiding, the Overvalkying taking a more cautious approach and not immediately attacking, waiting for its prey to reveal itself.
Faith jumped out first, aiming the Alicannon at her foe and firing off a bolt of concentrated energy. It vworped past the abomination that knew by now she was the most dangerous one of the bunch, and beset her in attacks.
The Overvalkying brought a tentacle down on Faith. Faith took the brunt of it, lifting the Alicannon up and skewering it on the horn. The equine-made creation let out a shuddering roar as it promptly flicked its tentacle away to send Faith flying, but she'd already anchored a hind leg and yanked her weapon out of the wound.
Faith didn't let up. “Come get me you son of a bitch!” She shouted, climbing up onto the railing of the ship, wielding her weapon, and lunging out into the open sea, leaning back and plowing the spear-like tip into her enemy's stomach.
An earth pony, coming out onto the water like this!? Did it think it could fly!? The Overvalkying was confused. It showed by its hesitance.
Faith let out a war cry, charging her weapon, putting both forehooves through her weapon's grip, planting her hindhooves against the abomination's body, and leaping off of it, shlucking the Alicannon out in one deft movement and flying through the air back toward the ship, twirling horizontally like a ribbon.
The abomination finally reacted, lashing out with another tentacle, completely caught off guard. Thinking for sure the little one was going to try to fire its weapon off inside his body.
Faith merely brought her weapon around in an arc and, instead of bashing the tentacle away, simply shoved herself off of it even further, giving herself more height, more air. Her twirl came to an end as she hung in zero-g for moments on end... and fired.
The Overvalkying brought its arms up over its face to shield itself from the shot. The energy injected into the creature's strange flesh, and immediately exploded, vaporizing a giant hole in one of its wrists, causing the hand to descend rapidly, hanging by nothing but a thread. The creature leaned back, roaring out from pain, cringing inward, unaware that the real threat had just gotten onto its body.
Gentler was running up one of its tentacles. “Get ready Acrid! Now's your time to shine!” Gentler, while running vertically along its back, leaned forward and leaped. “Hyup!” The cat twisted, dropping his cargo off onto the creature's neck and arced through the air with a flourish, coming down in front of the Overvalkying's face and bringing a repulse charged heel down on its skull.
The Watcher didn't even know what hit it, one second it was staring straight ahead at Faith, the next its chin was against its chest and it was dipping back toward the sea, its wings failing it for the briefest of moments.
Acrid slammed his forehooves into the base of the creature's neck, and synchronized with the metals in its flesh. The harmony between the two reached a crescendo, and with a cry, Acrid brought all the power in it surging forth, every single abnormal piece of mineral in the creature's body exploding outward like a puffer fish. Flesh tore, blood erupted, organs restructured. A body, randomized.
Gentler nearly toppled over as he landed on the creature's remaining hand, then lunged off of it to catch Acrid as the creature descended toward the water.
Slow motion was normally a metaphor, but in that moment it was real. Acrid jumped with his hindlegs as the Watcher exploded into pieces under him, a piece of that flesh still fused to him, a chunk of body. Raising up into the air.
Gentler greeted him, wrapping him up in a hug and activating the spell in his greaves, instantly magnetizing to the piece of flesh Acrid had been riding on. He held the older stallion, and carefully oriented himself in the air, before jumping and repelling himself off the chunk back toward the ship, flipping in the air and landing on the boat's metal curtain with his greaves, still cradling Acrid in his arms.
Life was silent.
The Overvalkying had been defeated.
Everyone was okay.
Their ship was, while damaged, not incapacitated for good.
If only they had the resources to have a genuine celebration.
Acrid shrugged a shoulder while in Gentler's embrace and bat his eyelashes. “You know, since cats eat fish this might last you a few weeks if we collect its body parts.” A teasing smile crossed the older stallion's face.
Gentler rolled his eyes and frowned. “I can still drop you in the water you know.”
Acrid laughed. “Can't blame me for trying to lighten the mood.”
Faith held Fear down on the deck, with the young stallion feeling the blood of his younger self pump through his veins, and Saway's advice on how to be badass coming back to mind.
“Hah! You're so slow if I ate your brain I'd be eating escargot!”
Faith's eyes revolved in their sockets and she sighed, knowing exactly what Fear was doing. “Nice try honey. Don't quit your day job.”
Fear huffed, having had another one liner about sushi prepped on the back burner but decided not to try. Maybe it was too late to try the badass route and now it just came off as gloating? He had to work on this badass thing some more.
On further thought, Fear realized he should ask Acrid if he could fix his Gallop with metal manipulation later. For now... he needed some damn laxweed. His cusp nerve was sore, and his thaumic gland was throbbing in his skull. Along with the agony in the rest of his body; it felt as though his bones were nearly popping out of their sockets.
Luna lifted a hoof and rested it on Fear's shoulder. “I'm proud of you Fear for not only learning to use the Solar Flare in advantageous situations, but also for learning how to depend on others despite your strength. Each and every time you come here that fact never seems to change. I'd almost dare to say your luck is bound to change soon and you're going to sard up.”
Fear lifted an eyebrow and stared at Luna with a lack of amusement. “Sard? Really? You know it doesn't matter how antiquated your language is, a swear is a swear right?”
Luna blushed and grinned wryly. “Just making sure you're paying attention, little Fear. I'm surprised you did not take offense to the fact you might mess up eventually.” She bapped him on the shoulder and stood tall.
Fear rolled his shoulders, then shook his head sullenly. “I mean it's a fact of life, I'm starting to learn. It's not all a perfect straight run.” He looked up at the alicorn with a sense of peaceful wisdom. “There are setbacks sometimes. I know my time will come.”
Luna smiled ruefully and gave a small nod of her head, closing her eyes. “Indeed you are right, it shows amazing growth that you recognize that now.”
The young stallion waved a hoof, lidding his eyes and grinning. “It's not that amazing, thank you though. I'm just glad I didn't end up going down your path and end up thinking I'm always gonna mess up everything.”
This time it was Luna's turn to look sheepish. “Eh. Little Fear, when you make such serious mistakes at the wrong time, it's difficult not to think that way. To not want to try. Learned helplessness.” Luna raised a hoof again and turned it so the frog was facing up. “Such things, I'm sure you understand.”
Fear bobbed his head, feeling content. “Yeah. I do. Also I know the Solar Flare is far from mastered but I don't think I'll be using it again any time soon. Takes a lot out of me, far more than the Starlight Shredder. Matching my wavelength with an actual sun is overwhelming,” he sighed out the words.
“True,” Luna admitted. “But it is still impressive you managed to do it. It shows a tie to magic I have not seen for a long time. It is not like you will be moving celestial bodies anytime soon without... aid. But it is still a huge step toward mastering the world around you.” She cast her head from side to side. “But that is neither here nor there right now. I wished to speak with you of an idea I had. A power you are now ready to harness.”
“Why now?” Fear queried.
“Because of your maturity, little Fear. You may be young but you have far surpassed most ponies your age in wisdom and development. Maybe it is the changeling side of you, or maybe it was out of necessity that you grew. Either way you are progressing at an almost alarming rate, and I want to see you continue this trend.”
Fear hummed, peering to the side at one of the stained glass windows. Something about the creation of Power Armor. It had been a turning point in the war after all. “Okay. What is it?”
Luna's lips twisted up in mirth, narrowing her eyes and leaning down to eye level with her protege. “I know you find teleportation impossible.” It was true, Fear was as bad at it as he'd become good at everything else around him. He just didn't have the patience nor the presence of mind for it like Amelio likely would have. It was an ability that required intense concentration and flawless calculation. A single misplaced thought, feeling, or mental equation would leave him in the floor, or his body randomized. It had done both. Which is why he only practiced it in dreaming. He was easily distracted in the best of circumstances, even with his skill in meditation. Fear still had nightmarish visions of himself mangled beyond recognition.
Which is why Fear was suspicious. “Where's this going exactly? You sound like there's an alternative way to get the same result. You wouldn't have brought it up otherwise.”
“Thoughtful and smart stallion, yes,” Luna responded. “I think this alternative method may be for you to create a tulpa, a figment that you may reinforce with magic and then switch places with. It is slower than teleportation, but not significantly.”
Fear mused on it. “What exactly is that? You say it's a figment, but what kind of figment? Is it just imagination or something more?”
Luna tilted her head to the side bemusedly. “It is a separate, distinct personality to your own. It lives within your mind and takes up space like a roommate. It is fed by positive emotion primarily – feeding it negative is dangerous. It is similar in nature to my sister's and my swords in a fashion, but it is far more...” she looked up, considering her words. “Free.” She continued after a moment. “You are everything to your tulpa, because no one else can acknowledge it under most circumstances. It takes an incredible amount of magic to be able to manifest it physically.
“And the reason,” Fear finished, “you didn't think I should learn this sooner is because you thought it unhealthy to have something like that in my head that I would grow to depend on too much emotionally?”
“Yes,” Luna completed.
Fear walked in place a bit and threw his head from side to side wildly as if shaking out a bad feeling. “That's fair.” Then he continued. “Though to be honest I think I already had something exactly like that...”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” Fear confirmed. “These tulpas... you can talk to them and they sometimes respond, right? Like a guide or an inner part of you, but not with your voice?”
“Yes... sometimes.” Luna agreed. “It is not a constant facet of one, but that is common. Some of my finest warriors wielded them as a sort of... psychological friend. Those that didn't wield my swords. I taught Saway how to develop one as an alternate method of teleportation, in case she was ever in a situation where she could not make complex calculations on a whim.”
“What happened to it?” Fear stared with puckered lips and squinty eyes at Luna, feeling uncertain about where this was going. Saway would have mentioned it, but she didn't. So Fear had a theory as to why that was the case.
“The nightmares devoured it.” Luna stated simply. “When it took residence in her soul, it also took residence in her mind, removing that separate identity from her. Consuming it. There is only room for the nightmares in most cases. If anything, I would dare to say that her tulpa allowed her to sate the nightmares.”
Fear shuddered. Having a separate personality, an ally to you consumed by something new and frightening as a sacrifice was not appealing. What if he was a tulpa and someone had done that to him? “Moving on.” Fear coughed into a hoof. “I think the death of my mother caused a manifestation of her to incarnate in my mind. It would explain how I heard her voice. Do you think that's accurate?” Fear leaned from one side to another, feeling antsy. “I've fed it various emotions I suppose, and it seems to have a will of its own in how it talks to me. Will that work?” Fear's voice was quick, not allowing room for response at first.
Luna hrmed. “I think it just might be. Knowing the nature of them, I would also wager that your contact with your mother in the space between the lives had some level of input on her. That personality I mean,” she corrected.
“I suspect as much too. I didn't mention but I met that personality... tulpa... whatever,” Fear shook his head, “again while I was in my acid trip.” The young stallion smiled broadly. “So that explains that. I guess she's definitely one.” Something was needling at Fear's mind, something really important and suspicious. He ground a hoof against his chin in thought.
Luna was in wonder at the young stallion, that he'd managed to create one of these on accident of all things. “You must've thought for a long time that it was your mother's spirit guiding you. I will teach you how to summon this tulpa in your dreams so you may speak to her in person.”
That clicked something, causing Fear's eyes to widen and dilate. “Oh... wow. Hmm... and yeah. I considered that was the case sometimes, but she never told me anything new. I figured either if she was a guide she wasn't allowed to tell me anything new, or she was just a figment of my imagination because I missed her so much.” Fear twirled a hoof. “I assumed the latter more often than not because I never felt her presence. Her soul.” Fear's cheeks puffed out and his lips wrinkled up. “But...”
“But?” Luna prodded.
“But I just remembered I felt her presence once. But... I don't think it was her. Not now at least.”
Luna was taken aback, putting a hoof on her chest. “Who else could it have been? I'm sure it was your mother looking down on you, Fear.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Fear looked from the stained glass windows back to Luna. “Hey I gotta dismiss myself now your majesty.” He shot her a wink. “But I'll be back later tonight. I gotta consider this pretty heavily.”
Luna was shocked, a bit, but understood. “I understand little Fear. Take all the time you need. It must be agonizing to know it was never your mother who was with you all that time.”
“Huh?” Fear questioned. “Oh, yeah. I suppose so.” Fear coughed into his hoof and spun around. “I'm gonna head to the gardens for now. Be alone with my thoughts. Thanks for your help Luna.” And with that he galloped off through various abrupt changes in scenery.
It wasn't even a couple minutes when he made it to the castle garden. “Discord! I know you're there. Show yourself.” Fear's voice was less... demanding. And more... used to it. By now.
Discord swirled out of a vortex in front of Fear, looking around curiously with a paw on his chin. “Hmm. You know Fear, I'm starting to think this is our little hang out spot, don't you? Are we on a date?” He elbowed the young stallion teasingly.
Fear just barked out a little laughter in disbelief. “Only if you want it to be, cutie.” He elbowed Discord right back, who was floating with his body at about eye level.
Discord convulsed and pulled back, blushing. “Oh you! You weren't supposed to do that!”
The young stallion sat on his haunches and shrugged both shoulders emphatically, creasing his lips downward and cocking his head. “I have no idea what you mean. I am always myself.”
The draconequus writhed through the air, then coiled around Fear and nestled down. “I know why you called me.”
“Is that so?” Fear questioned with a teasing tone.
“Yes. I was listening to your conversation with Lulu. I know how clever you are by now and you're not being surprising by asking me.”
Fear's face twitched. “I think that's an admittance of guilt, don't you? We're not nearly on that same a wavelength.” He stomped his forehooves against the ground.
Discord's body squeezed Fear's tight and used a paw to shove him down, causing the young stallion to wriggle and squirm to try and get free, before he eventually realized he could just phase through. He tried... and it didn't work.
“Hey! Stop changing how dreams work!”
“Never, Fear. And no,” Discord continued, “it is not an admittance of guilt. It is obvious that you'd suspect that I had something to do with it.”
“But how would you know I felt my mother back then after I fought Chrono Corona?”
Discord guffawed and brought an elbow up, noogying it into Fear's skull painfully. Fear felt it intimately and yelped. “You told Lulu just now you silly goose! Of course I'd know.”
Fear grunted. “Yeah but I felt a hoof. It wasn't... couldn't have been her spirit.” Because she'd been surprised to see him on the cusp of the afterlife. Or... well. Storm had said it was the afterlife. But he knew by now she'd misspoke. Creatures weren't perfect.
Discord laid on top of Fear with the part of his body that wasn't covered in coils, smashing him down. “You're going to believe what you wish Fear, I can tell you that much. But it's up to you and 'them' to decide in the end.”
Fear was... strangely enough, able to breathe. But it was still suffocating being covered in draconequus. His voice came out clearly even though it should've been muffled. “Who's 'them?'”
“Don't worry about it Fear. Just go train up and fix your Gallop.”
And with that Discord popped away before Fear could really start to take advantage of his embrace.
While Fear dwelled on the nature and philosophical aspects of 'ice' and held his Gallop in a telekinetic aura in front of Acrid, said stallion was busy resting his hooves on the triply severed firearm. Not only was the barrel ripped apart in two segments, but the sten-like trigger was hanging on by a splinter, threatening to crack apart at any second. It was going to be a really difficult fix, and Acrid wasn't sure he could succeed enough for it to be reusable instead of just a decoration from here on out.
Acrid focused, Fear focused. Fear on how to seal magic with the power of ice like Gentler's nullification spell in his gear, and Acrid on his metal manipulation. Surely this wouldn't be too difficult, both of them asked internally. One needed silence, the other just needed something to distract himself with. Didn't want to think about the possibility of his gun being unusable forever. Acrid was meanwhile closing his eyes and focusing on two different images.
One image was of what the gun looked like as is.
The other was what the gun was supposed to look like when complete, both interior and exterior, provided by Fear's illusions and own knowledge of his weapon.
The first important objective was to transform the gun from a completely broken piece of trash into one whole piece of metal, a shell. All he had to do was... finagle it a bit. Let it all melt into a Gallop-ish mass, then slowly smooth it out, carve out the tiny exterior details. The hard part was merging the broken pieces of polished wood with sheer metal sculpting, until it looked akin to a far more smoothly transitioned Mother 3 logo. Metal and wood mixing together.
The second thing was to take Fear's memories of what every single part inside looked like... and carefully craft it with fine, delicate bending. A broken wooden stock and sten-like bit becoming fused with metal, then separating in the important sections, slicing clean off from everything else. Surgical incisions made to each part, severing the new spring, the molded follow arm pin and operating rod catch, forming a magazine slide, operating rod, and bolt. Melting, meshing, and kneading metal like it was made of nanomachines to recreate the lock screw, gas cylinder, and hoof guard, reforming the trigger and letting all the pieces... disconnect. Becoming separated parts of a whole machine.
Acrid wasn't... sure if he'd successfully done it, but he'd completed it to all of Fear's exact specifications. It was difficult to get the measurements just right but...
“It looks perfect!” Fear proclaimed, before immediately taking it in his aura and trying to pull the metal apart so he could finish the entire process by lubing up the parts that needed it. All the metal within it looked incredibly... discolored, and like it had once been disfigured. The parts might need replacing eventually, but in essence it was perfect.
Fear lunged at Acrid. Acrid was stunned speechless as he was embraced, his forelegs coming up and hanging in the air.
“Thank you Acrid! Thank you so much! You're my hero!”
Acrid... just hugged Fear back and smiled, closing his eyes and resting his muzzle in the crook of the small young stallion's neck.
Panthera was an incredible place, Abyssinia’s capital after all. It was the main center of commerce for the country as well as the location of the palace. Due to that, its harbors were made for trading and fishing, with warehouses lining the piers. The whole tone of the city was one of patronizing feline desire, with variously branching architecture, like a wizard's castle. A field of towers and boxy structures, some with ribbed surfaces like the ropes wrapped around a scratching post. There were openings in the different buildings, different shapes and sizes, and it was all rather... quaint. Royal. The city was bathed in hues of gold, red, orange. Nice, exotic, tropical in some ways, without the appropriate trees.
The sun was hot.
The city was grand.
Even the piers were beautifully decorated with ribbons and tapestries, which lined the streets as well and gave everything an extravagant beauty made up of various cool and warm colors. Greens, blues, whites, purples, and everything in between and beyond. Life-like designs that spoke to the soul. Seagulls squawked out nearby, the waves crashed against the edges of the harbor. Vibrant, colorful birds could be seen and heard further inland. The scent of the entire area was of juicy fruit. The locals, various breeds of cats, wandered around going about their business all while others relaxed and took it easy. There were arcades, shops of all kinds, a mall further in, office buildings, not too much industry and deeper in the heart of it all, a glorious palace made of crystal and glass, with ornate trim filling the cracks and weaving over every surface, all made of gold.
The inhabitants were all clothed in beautiful, luxurious fabrics with a style akin to old Victorian wear. Cloaks, dual tailed jackets like a composer might wear, leggings of various sorts, some more puffy than others, ruffly cravats, glorious dresses, and some wore formal clothing that was a little more modern compared to the less modern attire. The real impressive part though was that every single cat wore at least one gemmed ring. Gentler had said that everyone in the kingdom used the magical infused gems that he used for combat on a day to day basis. Only the cats around Abyssinia used them for contemporary, practical purposes. Anything from a little telekinesis to extend reach and make life more convenient, to magic that could help with cooking, cleaning, or even agriculture. According to Gentler, some of the fishermen used gems that would increase their strength and endurance temporarily so that they could handle more, while others used more expensive jewelry to attract fish. Then there were those who used imbued magic for things like giving off an aura that would help them grow their plants, or trivial aspects of life like giving them a more preternatural presence during parties.
Life was different in Abyssinia compared to Equestria. For one, it wasn't a wasteland, it was constantly developing and growing, coming up with new ways to use what they already had. Gentler had said scientists were working on how to go into space last time he was there, but they weren't in a hurry. Second, the place was cultured, and not just in the way that it clearly had a theme going on with anything and everything, it was also just highly... sophisticated. While there was occasionally a kitten in a hoodie or tee, or something more recent, it was all... in its own time. It had its own way of life, devoid of wasteland influence. A bubble, in essence.
Fear looked out over the rim of the ship they were riding on as they prepared to dock, Gentler steering it into the proper recess. One made for visitors. Their feline companion had told them that he would take care of enthralling whoever owned the space they took. Meanwhile all three ponies who'd come with were marveling at the pristine nature of the city they approached. Acrid had a familiarity for the city, as he had seen monochrome photos of the place in textbooks.
Faith and Fear were, simply, in awe. Their jaws hung open as they leaned on the railing, the youngest preparing to rush off into the city and get lost. Faith made sure to hold Fear in place so he wouldn't go scampering away.
Gentler whistled a jaunty tune as he drove them into position, before killing the engine and just... resting. “I never thought I'd see this place again if I'm being honest.”
Fear glanced back at Gentler, coming down off the railing and twisting a hoof. “Well we have Acrid to thank for this opportunity. We wouldn't have gotten here without him.”
Acrid, not comfortable with the appreciation the others were suddenly flooding him with, made a stupid joke. “I'm surprised it's not in a desert. Because you know, giant litter boxes.” His tone was facetious.
Faith immediately gasped in mock surprise, holding a hoof over her mouth, and teased the older stallion. “Were you hoping it was so you could continue having accidents when you get scared?” She was at ease, and eager to defend Gentler, even if all four of them knew the jabbing was in good humor.
The group laughed. Gentler felt so much nostalgia, those good feelings coupled with the contentment he felt at being with his some of his new family.
The cat had come so far, his tail was wagging a bit in excitement. The normally stoic Gentler Stoic felt enthusiasm blossom in his chest. Fear sensed that emotion as a blooming flower.
“Let's go you three,” Gentler called out, stepping out of the helm. Acrid moved to drop the anchor, while Faith used her might to get the bridge in place so they could get down to the pier. Fear in the meantime went down below deck, into the cabins, and gathered their gear. Gentler's backpack, Acrid's, Faith's, and his own saddlebags, as well as his sword and firearm, including the Alicannon, floating everything behind him in a small parade of items. While his family had teased him mercilessly while he was high on laxweed, making him say long, complicated words and watching him mess up and forget it immediately afterward, Fear didn't remember any of it and felt better than ever. It felt like his horn was better than new.
The four met up on deck and headed down to the pier, hooves and greaves clicking on wood. Even on the pier Fear could feel how... happy everything was, and also how stuffy it was. The three equines stood together conversing about what they were going to do once they got into the city proper, activities they were going to partake in once they were alone. Acrid took a moment to surprise Fear and ask him if he wanted to hang out with him the next day, just the two of them.
Fear was a little too dumb in that moment to realize what Acrid wanted was a date, even with the hopeful intent radiating off the older stallion, but agreed to it. Faith decided she might spend some time with Gentler getting to know the city from someone who lived there, while the other two explored. Then they started talking about what they were going to do together, today. Gentler had already offered to bring them to his home. Fear wanted to visit a park, see if it was good for meditation. Acrid was intent on seeing a gymnasium, wanting to know what kind of exercises Abyssinians performed as a whole for recreation. Gentler had spoken highly of Abyssinian yoga and gymnastics during one of their many traveling conversations. And Faith was blitzed out of her mind to see where these famous Abyssinian tapestries were made, wanting to see the production process for herself. It had been since never that Faith and Fear had seen industry at work, and for Acrid he'd never explicitly been privy to it, but he knew about it and had lived in a world where it was a constant.
Gentler came back soon after, smiling from ear to ear, a strut to his step after successfully getting their boat locked up. He moved up to Acrid and Fear, planting his paws on their foreheads and shoving them down like an older brother or a father. “Don't forget you three, we also have to visit the palace. I need to have an audience with the king and queen. Fear, you'll be coming with me.”
Fear spoke up first. “Why don't we go there first? I suspect we might be waiting awhile if we don't.”
Gentler stood up. “Sounds good to me.” He swiped a thumb across his snout and started herding the little ponies away toward the city proper.
Fear felt the stares of everycat intimately. They were not only being looked at in disgust, but intrigue as well. They were the center of attention for any of the cats that caught their eyes. Even though Gentler had his arms wrapped around them in order to keep them close and protected, it didn't stop the assortment of looks they were getting. Acrid was oblivious to it, too taken in by the sights. Same with Faith. Fear was too sensitive to it. He could feel immediately the emotional ripple the group was sending through the city. He could hear, and feel, cats talking about them. Whispering amongst themselves. Their intent was clear as day. Some were impressed that ponies had managed to make it to Abyssinia, others were confused, some were huffy, and the remaining either weren't sure what to think or were seeing it as the next big gossip item. Fear could hear a couple whispering about his size, about Faith's weapon, about Acrid's lightly colored punk dreadlocks and dark charoite fur. The three equines stood out like a sore thumb, not only from how colorful and intense they were (battle hardened expressions were clear in a society that was relatively sheltered) but also because of how dirty they were.
It wasn't until that point, when he heard someone talking about it, that he realized just how much the four of them smelled. It wasn't often you got to have a bath, unless you were in some place with society. Even wells had to be used infrequently because they weren't infinite resources. Only places with water talismans, enchanted artifacts that purified water, could spare that kind of use.
Fear frowned deeply.
Acrid noticed Fear was cowering, his tail between his legs, and decided to lighten the mood, pointing toward a house cat that was wandering down the street, called out to him, and nudged Gentler and the others in the side. He pointed to the cat, then pointed to Gentler. “Don't worry, sir, I'm with him.”
The domestic cat cocked his head to the side and meowed in confusion, while Gentler flipped Acrid off with both hands.
Fear was... shocked. And immediately snrrked before breaking out into full blown laughter at the silly situation. He bapped Acrid on the shoulder, looking between his companions. “That was mean. But very funny. Thank you.” He understood Acrid's intent to lighten the mood. That's how it always was. Even if it was at the expense of someone else.
Abyssinians still stared at the squad but Fear felt far more relaxed now as they headed toward the palace, walking through a farmer's market and seeing all sorts of fruits, veggies, and fish being sold. The fish were in trays of ice to keep them fresh.
Overall the sounds of society were prevalent around the squad as they followed Gentler's lead. It was impressive, and Fear was a little shy, a little overwhelmed from all the citizens around him. Acrid felt like he was home, and Faith remembered why she usually chose to stay away from big cities.
Faith decided it was good as a temporary thing though.
Gentler led his entourage up the steps leading to the magnificent gleaming palace and brought them to the double doors leading inward, made of precious metals. The guard on the left was a calico and did a double take upon seeing Gentler. Gentler just stood there with arms crossed over his chest, a sneer on his face.
“G... Gentler?” The calico was shell-shocked, his jaw dropping and eyes bulging out of their sockets. After a moment his slack hand caused the bejeweled spear he was holding to drop and clatter to the stone steps. Fear's cat companion had told him that the jewels in the weaponry did anything from harness the elements to doing the same things his own greaves and gauntlets did.
Fear's snide Abyssinian companion merely nodded his head once and held his arms out. The calico immediately lunged at Gentler, pulling him into a giant bear hug.
“I can't believe it's you! How!? How did you get back from Equestria!? How long's it been!? It's been so many years!”
Gentler shrugged his shoulders and pat his friend on the back. “Still guarding castle doors, Butters? I'd think you'd've gotten farther up the chain by now.”
Butters pulled away in a huff and shoved Gentler back a step. “Says you! You haven't made any progress because you've been away!” The two stared at each other with glares for a moment, before breaking out in laughter and embracing each other once more. Fear could feel the alleviation of tension in the air. The reunion was impressive, and in a way, divine.
Acrid lifted a hoof. “So, you going to introduce us to your friend there, Gentler?”
Gentler laughed loudly and pulled away from Butters, casting a hand out to his friends. “My friend, this is part of the family I've made while away in Equestria. Butters, meet Faithdriver, Acrid Root, and Fearei Shatter. All three of them have earned my respect twofold and impressed me beyond belief. If you need to get anything done, these are your equines.”
Butters chuckled. “High praise coming from Mister Damn Stoic over here.” He punched Gentler with a thumb and crouched down to be at eye level with the others. Faith was a little annoyed at the treatment, Fear didn't care, and Acrid was glad to not have to crane his neck. “What did you do to earn such words, my new friends?”
Fear cocked his head and twirled a hoof. “I don't know to be honest. I don't think it's really that big a deal.”
Acrid immediately interrupted. “I killed the Watcher.”
Faith, not to be outdone, added in. “And I've taken on my own fair share of foes alongside our friend Gentler.”
Butters laughed gaily and clapped two of them on the back. “Impressive! If what you say is true then our king and queen would definitely like to meet you heroes! I'll lead you in.”
The other guard meanwhile just looked on in envy and wonder.
Fear stuttered. “U-uh yeah, thanks. We really need to have an audience with them so if you could, please lead the way?”
Butters grabbed his fallen spear and barked out, “gladly!” And pushed the door open to lead them in, calling out behind him. “Relic, keep an eye on the entrance.”
Relic rolled his eyes and sighed. “You're on duty and shouldn't be leaving your post either.”
“Screw it Rel', nothing important ever happens here. It'll be fine.” He waved off his ally and lead the squad deeper into the palace.
Fear stared on in awe at the rooms deeper in. The only rooms that weren't made of glass and gold walls were ones that required privacy. The ones that were, were covered in fogged or shaded glass or glittering gold walls. All of it was gorgeous. The architecture of everything just seemed to... melt into an aesthetically pleasing way, as if every room was planned out for maximum viewing potential. The greenery deeper in also allowed for the sensation that they were among a tropical forest.
Gentler nudged Faith. “So cutie, what'cha think of my home?”
Faith snorted, shaking her head. “Cutie? Li'l old me? What do you want my opinion for?”
Gentler shrugged his shoulders amicably as his cloak fluttered behind him. “I don't know. It's your first time in a city this extravagant, and the way you've been looking at everything you seem impressed and uncomfortable all at the same time.”
Faith hummed. “Well, for one thing, it's much bigger than Friendship City and Tenpony Tower put together. It also has way more creatures. It's a little overwhelming. I moved away from the bigger cities for a reason, but being back in a place like this isn't wholly unpleasant, especially since more around here is on sale than just scavenged goods. I'm excited to see what I'll find in the shops.”
Gentler bobbed his head a few times. “Sensical.” He leaned down to Faiths' ear, arms crossed over his chest, ears giving a flick, whiskers quivering. “You still want to hang out with me tomorrow if we have time?”
Faith fluttered her eyelashes, a dominant, superior look to her eyes as she twisted to stare at Gentler. “Certainly. Just make sure not to flirt too much loverboy. It's unbecoming.”
Gentler stood up and blinked a few times. “Whatever you say Faith.”
Butters spoke up. “Have you seen Silken yet, Gentler?”
Gentler shook his head. “No I haven't Butters. We just got in actually. Our first order of business was to see the king and queen. Why?”
Butters threw his arms up. “It's pretty amazing. You remember how that foolish cat was always talking about how he was going to get into the lewd business? Well he finally did. He's selling sex toys nowadays.”
Gentler gaped. “No way. That's impossible. That uptight kitten?” He remembered seeing Silken in his vision of Abyssinia being vaporized.
Butters laughed. “He's really chilled out since you left. He's been also making homemade catnip oils for his shop. You wouldn't believe it. It's like all his strict energy has gone into making products.”
Gentler stared at the floor, realizing how much he missed out on, and then snickered. “You're going to have to tell me how everyone's been, Butters. Maybe we can catch up in a couple days. I got some sight seeing to do first. Then all us friends can maybe catch up if we're in the area.”
Butters clapped his hands together. “Sounds like a plan, Gengen!” As they approached another door, this one leading into a room covered in thick shaded glass, the Abyssinian leading them stood at the door and pushed it open. “You guys got here at a good time. It's walk in audiences right now. Knock 'em dead you four.” He gave them a thumbs up and stepped aside.
Fear was the first to step inside. He felt like the leader especially in the worst of times, and knew that while Gentler should be leading, he needed to make a good first impression with his confidence.
Let's see... what do Abyssinians admire in a creature? I remember this lesson from Nyx. Gotta portray grace in everything about what you do, keep body straight and erect, embrace regality. Show respect. If you look them in the eyes, remember to blink. A solid stare will appear to be disrespect and stimulate confrontation. Keep tail between legs to show deference. If you can, always clean up beforehand. Well that was a bust. If you can't, make sure to apologize thoroughly for your appearance and not taking the time to look your best. Fear thought a little harder. If an Abyssinian offers to share scents with you, that is the greatest honor you could ask for, do not decline. There were other special details but those were the main ones Fear recalled. His lessons with Nyx had been drilled into his memory more or less through practice.
The interior of the throne room was magnificent, covered from ceiling to floor in tapestries and carpets, vibrant stone made of sky blue glaze used for what floor wasn't covered in regal fabric. It was an eyesore to some, but to Fear it looked majestic and luxurious. It helped that every bit of fabric was warm to the touch. A snake could nestle in against it for hours.
Fear was about to speak as they approached the king and queen, both decked out in formal wear, far more formal than the citizenry, but Gentler stepped in front of him and held out his hands.
“Your majesties,” Gentler began, introducing himself with a sweeping bow, crossing his legs and holding out an arm, using another arm to beckon the others to do the same.
The others bowed low to the ground in the presence of royalty.
The king stood up from his throne, staring agape at the procession before him, holding a gemmed scepter in one hand. “Gentler? You're back? ...How?” There was a shocked tone.
Gentler smirked and took that as the cue to stand up straight. He adjusted his positioning a bit, wiping his snout and closing his eyes, staring at the floor. “Before I get into that, I'd much like to give an apology for our tattered, bruised appearance. I know it's important to look your best in front of you two, but I felt our message was a little more important than our attire.” He shrugged, looking up at the ceiling. “Besides, none of us have the proper clothing to be introducing ourselves to royalty. Nor do we quite have the... appropriate money.” Gentler's voice was soothing and charismatic. It was easy to listen to.
The king nodded once, lowering his hand. “That is much alright. I understand the gravity of the situation. Please, you lot, come closer. Let me see you. I take it you have either escaped the Watcher unharmed, or you have defeated it utterly.”
Gentler stepped to the side and motioned for Fear to come forward. Fear stared at Gentler for a moment, dumbstruck, before stepping forward. He swallowed hard and gathered his words together. Speak concisely. His mind worked in overtime. “I come into your majesty's presence with important news. I wish I could say this was a leisure appointment, but it is not. We had good reason to achieve what most would consider the impossible.” He bowed again, keeping his eyes off the king and queen, but he saw out of his peripheral that the king's tail was perked high in a friendly position.
“Go on...” The king spoke suspiciously, concern in his voice.
“We are here to save Abyssinia from an unexpected threat.”
The king took some steps back and sat in his throne again. “And what is this threat, young one?” There was a hint of respect in the king's voice. Clearly his subject Gentler respected this single pony much in order to use him as the spokesperson for the group. He was a little bothered that the purple and green one was constantly staring at him, but found himself impressed by Fear's behavior.
Fear looked up, his gaze flowing across the king and queen and glancing to the side, tail between his legs. “I hate to say it, but... zebras.”
The king's eyes narrowed. His shoulders shifted. There was discomfort. “You understand what you are implying, correct? The war has been over for nearly two hundred years, and you come to me telling me that zebras are once more a threat?”
Fear cast off his discomfort and nodded. “Precisely. I do not speak of this lightly, your majesties.”
The queen interrupted, testing Fear's mettle and manners. “The zebra are merely nearby to discuss trade agreements with us. What proof have you that they mean to attack us?”
Fear swallowed hard. It did not go unnoticed by the king and queen's keen ears. His sudden frayed nerves were clear to them both. “I do not have proof.”
The king stood up in defiance. “Then why come to us speaking of wartime nonsense? We are not hear to listen to the ramblings of a wasteland tainted equine! Gentler!”
Gentler bowed his head, but stayed silent.
“Gentler!”
Fear spoke. “Your majesty? If I may?” Fear bowed his head toward the ground.
The king stepped in place, and grimaced. “You know your manners, colt. Yes, you may speak.”
Fear looked up, his heart hammering in his chest. “I do not have proof, but I do not intend to force you to cast your hand in the situation that they are actually genuinely peaceful. I wish to go to them myself, and take care of the situation myself, if you are okay with it. I want to take full responsibility, and if I turn out to be wrong, you may take my head.”
The king stared intensely at the gray and purple young stallion. “You speak heavy words for a young colt. I can sense your nerves. Where, may I ask, does your confidence come from young one?”
Fear considered his words for a long time.
“Well?”
Fear's lower lip trembled. “To be honest your majesty, I am not certain. There are many sources. Everything from my compassionate, determined nature, all the way to the way I dive into everything head first. I do not see a reason I should hold back, and I do not have doubts in my abilities, in my knowledge. Your subject Gentler would never have put his faith and respect in me if he did not know that.”
The king hrmphed. “You make a keen point, young one. Your efforts seem pure. Someone with impure intent would not come to us and remain so calm, would not beseech us for help, nor would they offer to take such extreme responsibility for their actions.”
The queen spoke up next. “You may not have proof, but you have shown something more important. Integrity. While we cannot make a move on our zebra friends, we are willing to trust you because you are with Gentler, who is a citizen of ours.” She turned to Gentler. “Gentler, we are trusting in your integrity as well. We know you have grown up here, and have hardly any ill thoughts toward our zebra allies. If what you say is true, then we must at least take this young pony's offer to protect us.”
The king held his scepter out. “You are a very silent pony. This isn't comfortable for you, is it? What is your name, young one?”
Fear tapped a hoof on the rug. “Fearei Shatter, your majesty. I'm merely a humble pony from a broken nation. I have spent my life improving myself, and I am honored that you are willing to give me an opportunity to prove myself. I do not take this position lightly, and you will not regret it.”
The king sat down again. “How urgent is this matter, Fearei?”
Fear hummed. “Relatively urgent, your highness. We have at least a few days, maybe a month. I cannot discern for sure. But I do know that time is running out.”
King Leo leaned on an elbow. “Well, as dirty as you are, allow me to welcome you and your group into our presence, Fearei Shatter. We expect good things from you if everything is as you say.”
Fear's charisma bubbled up to the surface. “Forgive me for looking a gift horse in the mouth, sire, but may I ask why exactly you are putting your faith in me?”
The queen was the one who spoke, leaning forward. “Not only does Gentler's mere presence vouch for your validity, but despite having never been to Abyssinia before, you have shown the perfect behavior in our presence compared to your other two companions. Alongside that, the fact that you defeated the Watcher just to come here speaks volumes. The only thing you haven't done was apologize for your dirtiness, but that is acceptable. You have shown patience and wisdom, and have shown self-control in the face of adversity. If you are telling the truth, then you had every reason to lash out at us, yet you did not. That is not lost on either of us, Fearei Shatter. It is not just charisma that you have demonstrated, but a respect for our customs that not even Gentler has ever fully embraced.” She leaned back. “Is there anything else you wish to tell us?”
Fear was a little shocked. It showed in his face. “Well... I was wondering...”
“Wondering?” The king inquired.
“Now that the Watcher is defeated, would you be willing to help our wasteland recover?”
The king waved a hand. “Your wasteland is a lost cause to us. Financially and morally. There may be hints of civilization but the majority of it is broken and irredeemable. We wish to have no part in it. Gentler may have chosen to travel there, but he does not speak for most of us. The fact that the Watcher has been destroyed may even be a terrible omen for what is to come. We will have to step up sea patrols to make sure none of your species corruption creeps into our lands.”
Fear grit his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Even if you didn't have the self-control to not backtalk or question our decision, you should know that there is nothing that will make us change our minds. The only way we will ever aid Equestria is if the wasteland is eliminated and the lands return to the way they once were. Unlikely, but there have been stranger phenomena in our lands.” The king clicked the scepter on the armrest of his throne. “If you wish to speak, you may do so now.”
Fear shook his head. “No. Thank you though for the opportunity.” Fear stood up at his full height, exuding as much grace as his small body could, crossing a foreleg over the other. “By your leave, sire.”
The king gave a single nod of his head. “You are dismissed, Fearei Shatter. I wish to speak with Gentler alone first about his time in Equestria however.” It was clear it was going to happen whether Fear minded or not.
“As you wish, your majesties.” Fear bowed his head and turned around.
The queen called out. “Fearei Shatter, you are a respectable equine, it is difficult to believe it was the wasteland which sired you. If all in the wasteland were like you and your companions, we would be more willing to help.”
While that should've been a compliment, Fear found it to be more of a condemnation and insult as he left. What was the point in everypony being exactly like him? That wasn't how true friendship blossomed, he knew that by now. “Thank you,” he called over his shoulder with as much sincerity as he could muster, then left the throne room with Acrid and Faith in tow. Gentler stayed behind to tell the story of his time in Equestria.
As the doors closed behind the three, Fear let out a deep sigh, while the other two stared at Fear intently.
Faith murmured. “You did really well in there, Nightlight. I'm proud of you. You may not have been able to have full success, but you proved yourself a good equine. You took a lot on your shoulders and came out on top, all in all.”
Acrid grinned, slapping the solemn Fear on the back. “Indeed, you're a hero. You certainly showed us up in the manners department, it seems. Your training has really paid off. I've never seen such intense self-control, not even in my parents. I never cease to be impressed by you.”
Fear managed a small smile. “Thanks guys. I just wish I could've tried to convince them to help the wasteland. Maybe I should've backtalked?”
“No,” Faith disagreed. “You did the right thing. There was a lot riding on that single meeting, and you did your best. You couldn't get everything. It's not like we came to them at our best nor did we have room to negotiate. For all we know they were inches from kicking us out of their kingdom simply for being from the wasteland.”
Fear stood a little taller, ceasing his slump. “I suppose you're right.” It was true, Fear knew, the king and queen had been very close to that upon being told their allies were, in fact, their enemies.
“Hey, Fear,” Acrid stated, “don't worry about it too much. They're probably sheltered royalty. Compared to you and the princesses, and everyone else in the wasteland, they wouldn't last three seconds in the world you live in. They probably also haven't been put in nearly as difficult of decisions as you have.”
Fear sighed. “I just wish I could live successfully in their world too.” They probably endure much harder decisions than me. They run an entire COUNTRY They really shouldn't see me so highly after what I've done. But the others see me highly too so I guess it's okay. I really am blessed.
Faith pat Fear on the back, stroking over his spine. “Don't wish that, Fear. You can't be successful everywhere, and you're not supposed to be. If constant one hundred percent success was important in everything then I'd have to blame myself for not being enough for those I couldn't save and bring peace to.” She nudged Fear in the shoulder. “In all honesty you've brought more peace to my listeners with your real experiences than I usually do. So chin up okay?”
Fear's eyes were a little watery, but he nodded and hugged his two family members. “Thanks guys. All that's left to do is wait for Gentler I guess.” I wonder how they knew there were bits of civilization back in Equestria? I'll have to ask Gentler.
The group then discussed, with varying levels of interest, Fear's new novel. Fear did most of the talking, just trying to relax by rambling on about how he wished there was a sequel that went into the traumas of the protagonist's journey. Of him trying to overcome the depression that was likely to manifest once he finally started to relax, mirroring Fear's own journey but differently.
Gentler eventually came out, slumping forward and dusting off his pants a bit, before standing back up and sniffing hard, eyes closed. He took a moment, just opening his eyes, hooding them, and smirking to one ear, looking very at peace. The others just stared at him in questioning silence. “Good news.” He lifted a paw and twirled it around, looking at the backs of his fingers like he was admiring them. “Your little display in there, Fear, was respectable enough for them to grant my request to give us a stipend so that we can relax here in Panthera for a week or so. Well that, and my story.” His arm dropped to his side, then his hands slid up onto his hips. “I've gotta admit Fear, I remember when you were a little colt who did his best to prove himself and hardly had a manner to your name, just trying to be a friendly little ball of fluff.” He cocked his hips to the side.
Fear considered admitting he knew that Gentler had hyped him up after their visit to the environmental institute, but refrained.
“Now you're inspiring those around you with your self-control.” Gentler blinked once and shrugged emphatically. “It's a huge difference in just a few years. I'm impressed. Changelings really do develop quickly.”
Fear bat a hoof, feeling nervous and uncomfortable, wobbling where he stood. “Thanks, but I don't like it.”
Acrid lifted a hoof and slapped Fear upside the head. “Just take the compliment. You earned it.”
“I... suppose.” Fear proffered. “It just feels weird because there are so many other equines in the wasteland who never get the proper credit they deserve, and I feel like I'm cheating them out of what they need.”
Faith chortled a bit. “Oh honey. If they have friends I hope they tell them how much they're appreciated on a day to day basis. You can accept our compliments and admiration without worrying about those who deserve it more. There will always be someone who deserves it more. Doesn't mean we shouldn't offer those well wishes to everyone we know.” She set a hoof on Fear's head and lightly rustled his mane. “So it's okay, alright?”
Fear smiled tentatively. “Alright.” He turned to Gentler. “Thank you for the compliment Gentler. I think that's the first time you've directly done so, right to my face.” He shook his head in awe, lidded eyes glimmering. He felt tired. Self control wasn't easy. “By the way, I had a question.”
Gentler's face took on a curious countenance, uncrossing his arms from his chest. “Oh? What's that?” He tilted his head to the side, adjusting his positioning.
“I was wondering. How did King Leo and Queen Lisa know about the civilizations in the waste if they've both never been there, and also anyone who goes there is trapped?”
Gentler's diaphragm spasmed, letting out a small burp of laughter. “That's what's bothering you? I mean, you're very perceptive Fear but that seems like the least of your worries when you should just be taking some time to relax.” He looked at Fear's slightly defeated face and relented, sighing. “Eh. To be honest I only have theories. I'm not high up on the information chain, and never was. If I had become a knight maybe someday.” The cat set a hand on his hip and relaxed. “If I had to guess, they have ties to the Enclave, albeit weak ones. After all, it's unlikely the Enclave cut themselves off from everyone, including old allies.”
Fear 'oh'ed. “That sucks. I hope they don't intend to help them take over the wasteland someday.”
Faith had similar thoughts. Acrid was a little surprised.
“I highly doubt it Fear,” Gentler comforted. “To be honest I think Abyssinia royalty hates the Enclave simply because of how disloyal and cowardly they were. The Enclave tends to be very... oppressive, even with its own people from what I understand, in order to keep the peace and maintain their independence. I think the reason they're not apt to trade with others is because their leadership was traumatized by the war, and distrust of others and its own people merely became a tradition. The place is militaristic, so...”
“Wow,” Fear responded. “How do you know so much about them?”
Gentler just chuffed, rubbing a greave into the carpet. “We studied some of their history growing up. They're the only part of Equestria that our education system is familiar with. I always got the wrong impression from them, and felt they were cowardly.” He shook his head. “When I got there I realized I was more or less correct. It's insane what a little cowardice can do to a whole nation.” Gentler moved past Fear, placing a gauntlet on his head and mussing it up more. “I think that's what I like most about you, Spiral.”
Fear 'huh'ed, watching the Abyssinian go, Faith and Acrid following after him. “Thanks for that. I appreciate it.” He smiled a bit broader, feeling more comfortable about taking the compliment. Just because others didn't get the appreciation they deserved and he did, didn't mean he was a horrible equine. Like they said, and like he hoped, it was okay to revel in your friends' feelings for you. Fear galloped to catch up. “By the way, how are we getting the stipend funds?”
Gentler snorted. “It's being sent to my parents. They'll be helping us manage it for now due to the fact that we don't have much of a way to carry that kind of money. It's surprising, but it seems they're still doing incredibly well. My father's retired and working as a fisherman as a hobby, and my mother is still working as a jeweler for the kingdom.”
Fear thought back on what he knew about Acrid. “Salmon,” the name was pronounced as 'simon,' “and Clairity right?”
Gentler nodded, holding up a thumb. “Good memory Fear,” he purred.
“Any idea if your brothers and sisters are around? Maybe we can hang out with them when we go to your place.”
“I don't know, but I'll find out when we get to the house. For now let's just relax and enjoy the sights for awhile yeah? You need a moment to truly chill in society, Fear.”
And with that the group fell silent as they headed to their first destination, Gentler leading them. Even if I can't see eye to eye with the king and queen, I suppose it doesn't truly matter. I can still be friends with them and work on what I need to, Fear thought. For a moment, he was sure he felt Discord's gaze on him. He knew the draconequus was intentionally making his presence known, right as he'd had the thought. Maybe that's what he was supposed to learn here?
Acrid grinned and raised a shoulder in resignation. “I know you wanna give back to us but you don't always have to give us a massage in exchange, Fear.”
Faith concurred with a nod. “It's true. Just the fact that it leaves more food for us and you still help us scavenge for the stuff is technically enough. Won't deny I appreciate it though.”
“Yeah,” Acrid confirmed. “And it's not like I even notice it anyway because I'm always asleep when you do it to me, as I asked.”
Gentler hrmed. “And it does feel rather nice all in all.” He tapped his fingers together.
Fear let out a purring noise in frustration by expelling air between his lips, lidding his eyes. “Allllright I guess. But to be honest I don't do it nearly as good as I should, I've never used Rose's techniques on you guys before.”
Faith chortled. “You do enough, it's okay to be a little lazy, Nightlight!” She shook her head in disbelief. “You try so hard, you can relax.”
Fear hummed and finally conceded. “Alright, if you guys say so. I'll try to focus on myself a bit more.”
“Finally,” Acrid sighed in relief as they finally came to the city park. It was a wide open expanse with a variety of rainforest trees scattered around. The place was humid and warm, halfway to a desert, but the trees provided something to climb on and exercise, as well as shade. Some cats were around sitting in the shade having picnics, others were playing games, everything from board games like Traitor in the Mountain and Unstable Wastelanders (what the fuck, Fear thought upon seeing it). ...To athletic games like Ogre Attack and Capture the Flag. The place was kind of filled, but it helped that the place was also extremely expansive. Fear felt a little awkward being in such a place of pure society, cats having fun and being relaxed. It was a strange juxtaposition to... his life, everything. These cats were so sheltered.
But Fear liked that. He liked that this society wasn't suffering like his. He hoped and prayed that his society would be like this too one day. It was such a drastic change in perspective that he felt more content than he had in awhile, and for once, after his chats with his family... he felt like he deserved to feel this way. It was okay. It didn't make him worse to feel comfortable. Maybe.
Fear wasn't sure.
As they walked through the park, taking a small hike, Fear realized this place was good for fun and making friends – everyone seemed really amicable despite looking at them with a sense of distaste and marvel. But it probably wasn't a fantastic place to meditate. He'd probably get conked in the head by a rubber dodgeball if he wasn't careful. Some felines were throwing a frisbee between each other, leaping around and competing with each other for style points in how they caught it. It was clearly all in good fun though. Fear breathed in deep, enjoying the fresh air – almost addicted to it, his hooves coming down on fresh, moist grass. Gentler told him the reason for how green it was, was due to the sprinkler system that popped up during the night when it wasn't raining.
The environment was so clean. So pristine. Even Acrid was a little surprised.
Further in they found a lake which was just as clean that some cats clad in bathing suits, ranging from swimming trunks to one piece suits, were swimming, playing, and splashing around in. The kittens had water wings.
Fear couldn't help but admire how easily society could be so... perfect. He knew it was far from that. It was as if it was captured in a dome far away from the real world, but he couldn't help but understand where the king and queen were coming from. They did not want their glorious... almost paradise. Being tainted. Fear wasn't sure he wanted to taint it either. He realized then that his behavior in front of royalty, in front of nobility, had been far more important than he first thought. Without that good first impression, they would have been kicked out as a danger.
Worst possible result was they were turned into the Enclave for killing the Overvalkying, with the end game being experimented on, in exchange for something else. Fear shuddered as the idea occurred to him – where had that come from? He felt like he'd dodged a bullet. This place wasn't as friendly as it first appeared. It was haughty, superior. But Fear understood why... and he didn't blame them for feeling that way. They acted as if they were more than they were, and they didn't help those who had less, but that was fine.
Before they left, Fear played a game of Chess with Gentler using a public board. He learned quickly, but even with his ability to sense intent was far too much of a novice to win against someone who was more experienced.
The journey through the park ended too soon, but Fear had a new perspective on life. He might not respect all the Abyssinians for their behavior, but he wasn't going to destroy their lands just because he disagreed with them. That was what a raider would do. He wasn't that anymore.
“Is this why you came to the wasteland, Gentler?” Fear asked.
Gentler nodded as they came to the Panthera equivalent of the YMCA. “Indeed, Fear. I felt you guys needed more help than us. It wasn't all your guys' fault that that war destroyed everything, and it wasn't something you deserved to suffer for, forever.” Fear felt the compassion laced in the Abyssinian's voice. “I was in the minority. The king and queen didn't mind, though my parents tried to talk me out of it. I'd say we were lucky to have met the way we did, but I know now, from experiencing life with you, that everything was possible, and everything is happening simultaneously. And I'll be able to find out all the what ifs later. I know that now thanks to you.”
Fear didn't know what to make of that but ended up just smiling brightly, cocking his head to the side, closing his eyes, and taking it lightly. “No problem!”
Their feline companion got the squad some visitor passes, telling them to put it on his parents' tab, and they entered the facility proper through the pneumatic sliding glass doors. Shff. Fear, as usual, was impressed at the interior, how busy it was. He knew the pool was beyond the locker rooms, that was what Gentler had explained. They passed by tennis courts that could be used for more than just tennis, and break rooms that had some computer games in it. Fear wanted to do that the most, but that wasn't where Gentler was leading them. Acrid was the one who'd wanted to come here after all.
The group wandered through a few rooms, through a basketball court, a hoofball court. Only thing it seemed to be missing was an indoor hockey rink, which Gentler stated there was a stadium for that (not that anyone asked, because only Acrid knew what that was). When they got to the main gymnasium they learned it was two stories tall, with a track ringing the upper level, with a railing separating it from the lower. Fear didn't know the name for any of the equipment in the room, all of it made for bipedal creatures to practice their agility on. Fear wanted to try some of it. Some cats in there were busy doing stretches, like hamstrings or bridges, while others were hanging on bars, spinning around and doing stylistic movements, showing off feline flexibility. There was also so much more, including a vaulting board.
Gentler helped his pals do some stretches, the ones equines could do at least, and let them hang out on some of the equipment. Fear loved the vaulting board because it let him bounce in style. Gentler promised to show him a trampoline before they left. Fear was starry eyed.
Acrid enjoyed his little visit, and was impressed with bipedal exercises.
Faith felt a little uncomfortable but content. She was captivated by wonder as Gentler explained there were fields in the back of the building outside for things like soccer and other games. It was a huge facility.
Faith just about started gushing once she saw the interior of one of the tapestry shops. The looms were not only jeweled to make the process of weaving weft and warp threads easier, but also made of fanciful polished wood to look as good and clean as possible. The tapestries themselves were incredible works of art showing images throughout history, and also just having general designs on them that made anything Fear had ever seen look boring. The clack of wood, the rustle of thread and materials, and the gentle shumpf and thunk of the looms in operation filled the air as fabric was being stamped together. The place was exotic, with colorful, healthy planters lining the walls and crystalline wind chimes clinking and tinkling together from the breeze. There were, what some would consider, cubicles filling the main work room, but they were more like mini workstations to give the weavers privacy and concentration, while machines around them helped provide and contain the fabric they used.
“Wow! It's so beautiful!” She stood behind one of the pretty, doll-like felines who worked her loom and watched her carefully, finding the process of it all rather entrancing, slow, calm, peaceful.
Gentler agreed. “Yeah, they put a lot of work into all of this. The fabric is made somewhere else, and brought to places like this to be woven.” He grinned from ear to ear. “I'm glad you like it Faith.”
Fear and Acrid busied themselves by looking over other weavers, with Fear also using telekinesis to examine some of the tapestries that had been finished, all sorts of glorious designs from the simple to the advanced and everything in between. It was impressive some of the sheer artistic images that the cats were able to emblazon on the tapestries. Were these even possible!? It seemed like various threads were interwoven to create the pictures. According to one of the workers who shooed Fear and Acrid away, those ones took the most work and time because the complexity of the designs forced creativity and extra effort.
The cats working intently on their designs weren't too pleased to have dirty ponies watching them. And that wasn't figurative, compared to everyone here, the squad was incredibly dirty. Their clothes and bodies sorely needed a wash, and the pleasant smelling air fresheners filling the place were a little overpowered by the scent of their exertion. It was like comparing apples and oranges, two aromas trying to overpower the other.
It wasn't long before they were forced to leave, but not until Faith used her charisma to convince one of the pretty felines to show her how to loom and give her a chance to operate the machine as well – with heavy supervision of course.
The reunion with Gentler's family proved to be intense and full of good feelings that Fear easily got drunk on. Being introduced to parents, brothers, and sisters was catatonia inducing in a lot of ways, and Fear was uncomfortable about it, but he handled it better than in the past. Acrid easily got the others to warm up to him, and Faith was as calm and kind and motherly as ever, easily mingling with Clairity Stoic and swapping cooking tips with each other. Faith had read old scavenged cookbooks in the past. Not like she was ever able to really make anything. Which was why Clairity promised to show her how it was done.
Everyone got to enjoy a nice, warm shower full of nearly infinite hot water. Faith sung during hers. Acrid took a bath for old time's sake, and Fear sat in the shower just letting the liquid cascade over him and rinse him off. The shampoos were flowery and exotic, with a fruity afterimage to most of them. Gentler sighed in relief but hurried his so he could spend more time with his family and let the others have their time bathing.
Dinner ended up being deliciously spiced and seasoned fish of a couple different types, some veggies roasted with cooking oils. For dessert a couple incredible cookie sundaes were served, the heat and cold mixing together into a cacophony of flavor, combined with the chocolate chips, firm dough, and soft, melting vanilla ice cream. Discussion ranged from the guests' old pasts, to what Gentler's family did for a living and had been up to since his departure – of which no one still could believe he was actually back. It all felt like a fever dream. Belle, the mischievous feline who owned a prank shop, pulled the chair out from Fear as he was about to sit in it, and would later end up short sheeting Gentler's old bed to tease him. Skyler, who wasn't around, had become a Chief Operating Officer for a national airship company and was currently in another city (Gentler had called him a lucky sob). Lynxia was a manager and guide at a monster preserve, which Gentler explained to Fear was essentially like the Everfree Forest back home, but far tamer. Chowder, it turned out, was an up and coming top chef. Saria had achieved her dreams and become a multi-instrument performer for various concerts but what she really sought to do was make her own band. And Milo was a simple pet store owner who loved his job and hired someone to help with his taxes – Fear was able to relate to the difficulty at math.
Everything was a violent, chaotic maelstrom of activity and good times, seeping into the air around them and cloying Fear's sixth sense. The group of cats and equines ended up watching an old classic movie together, a volcano disaster flick. Fear and Acrid laid on the floor together, with Faith on the couch next to Clairity and Salmon, and Gentler laying on the back of the couch, the few others that were there sitting on the armrests and other chairs. The house was so cramped during it all, it was hard to move around at times, and there wasn't enough popcorn for everyone. Fear found he liked buttered popcorn the best.
While the brother and couple sisters who'd managed to make it for dinner were only there temporarily to greet Gentler and welcome him back for however long it lasted, they weren't there forever. Eventually others had to leave. And while everyone was psyched to see Gentler and meet his new family, they knew it couldn't last forever due to the very nature of the youngest son's visit, which was kept vague.
As things were winding down for the night, a discussion revolving around the nature of virtues popped up between Fear, Acrid, Faith, and Gentler. According to Gentler research had been done on virtues in Abyssinia years ago due to the information known about the Elements of Harmony, and how they were a source of power when utilized and magnified. That at their most powerful and unstable they had the potential for self destruction because of how they influenced the mind, but at their best, when concentrated and stabilized with friendship and peace, they were unbeatable power sources, and propagated through death. Philosophical discussions between the group were common after all, sometimes turning heated, usually calming down and ending in peaceful love.
Gentler went up to his old room to sleep, cursing Belle for short sheeting his bed, while Faith slept on the couch, Fear and Acrid going to bed in sleeping bags next to the TV.
It had been a long day, and when Fear's head hit the ground he passed out almost instantly. His heart was full, and he couldn't possibly imagine how the next day could be topped. It felt like it'd been forever since he'd experienced downtime quite like this. A vacation... maybe that's what he really needed.
The night ended with finally summoning his tulpa in the flesh, so to speak. It had taken awhile to fully call upon and manifest her, but the practice seeing normally invisible things like the wavelength of a sun helped him to find that little bit of himself that had been hidden away for the longest time.
Storm's form, about twice as tall as Fear, stood in front of her 'son.' In reality, Fear was the father to this figure that had taken on aspects of his mother. Upon conversing with her, and letting her get a feel for not only her sentience, but also her sense of self. She informed him that she had indeed been touched by Storm's presence on the cusp of the afterlife, as well as Fear's impressions of his mother.
Luna told Fear that if he were ever able to truly manifest his tulpa in a magical form, she would be able to fight alongside him as a being made of pure energy, burning through the hardest armors in order to touch the leylines of an opponent and disable them on a metaphysical, albeit not soulful, level.
Fear laid some ground rules with his tulpa, which turned out to be unnecessary because she was the kind of figure that reacted to his thoughts, impulses, and desires. She would not come to him unless provoked, or in other words, spoken to and used. His tulpa called herself a tool. Fear...
Denied that identity. She was real to him, thoughts born of him, a facet of intelligent energy that belonged to him but was reserved for her use. A cut off section of himself intimately intertwined with his consciousness, and given life. There were no secrets between the two of them, but neither would Omega Storm, as he called her, come to him unbidden. She was no tool, he assured her. Merely a comrade. They would want similar things, and he would take care of her and feed her not only emotion, but experiences. And she would in turn help him to the best of her ability.
Breakfast had been delicious, the best food Fear had ever eaten. His favorite stews and even spicy tuna fish came nowhere close to comparing to the morning meal Claritity Stoic had cooked for the three equines and one Abyssinian. Acrid was crying, having been convinced he'd never have food like this ever again, talking about how food in real life society had stayed the same for decades yet improved in nuance with the experimentation and science of multiple generations. Fear was literally moaning out loud, rubbing his hooves together as he used telekinesis to manipulate a fork and spoon, shoving food into his mouth voraciously – but for once he was showing table manners at the behest of Gentler. Gentler was happy to have real food again, but ate calmly with very little emotion. Faith was enthralled, but she had a reticence about her that betrayed her euphoric feelings as she chewed and swallowed.
It had been twofold. Oatmeal mixed with creamy milk, spiced with cinnamon powder, covered in ripe blueberries, and slathered in melted butter. The second portion was more than enough scrambled eggs for all of them. Juicy, chunky, with chopped up bits of juicy, fresh ham, fused with melted cheese, seasoned with pepper, salt, and other spices that gave it all a faceted exotic aftertaste. Fear hadn't stopped salivating even after eating enough to be satisfied. The blueberries dipped and spelunked in the oatmeal had been the best part. Not only was it milky and hot, nearly seeping into jelly in the mouth, but the sweetness was off the charts, almost lip-scrunching tangy, vaguely acidic and tingly, with a juicy mouthfeel and squirting copious amounts of juice that put the heart cherries to shame.
Fear'd almost faceplanted into his bowl of oatmeal from sensory overload. He'd certainly stopped a few times to hold his cheeks and groan, nearly choking on his food as he tried to gasp from the overwhelming tastes and textures that he had no prior experience of. He never wanted to leave. He could never go back to the wasteland after this paradise.
But he knew... knew it would eventually end and he'd have to return to his responsibilities. It wasn't the first time Fear'd been forced to act on his beliefs even though he had so much to lose due to it. No one would blame him if he came here to live and offer his services, make a name for himself. But he couldn't do that.
Right now, Acrid and Fear were busy walking through the streets of Panthera nursing their swollen tummies as they looked for something to do, their saddlebags with them. It was hard to move, at times. Fear's body felt a little like lead. Acrid suggested it was because after a long time he was finally genuinely relaxing and enjoying his surroundings instead of constantly thinking about how he could make them better.
Fear thought Acrid knew him well, yet not that well at all. Right? I'm pretty sure I relax a lot. Sure I'm always pushing myself but that doesn't mean I don't know how to take care of myself and lay back. Rose gave me massages now and then. ...But I also gave her money in return. And recommended both my aunts and my uncle to everyone, especially those who needed help with their jobs. No. It might've been a lot, but it wasn't enough. He had to do everything. He wanted to be a hero. That's how he was. He staked his self worth on it. I push myself too hard. Do I really not know when enough's enough? But it's fine. I can take this time to recharge my batteries and reinforce myself. But what about the future? It's not like I can return here easily. The pegasi will probably enforce patrols on the seas if not make a completely new Overvalkying. Hmm... it's unfortunate but I really gotta learn to relax. Stop putting in so much effort into everything.
Acrid was uncomfortable with the silence, so he tried to get Fear's attention. “Hey Fear?”
Fear shook his head, pulling out of his reverie. “What's up?” His voice had a twinge of irritation coupled with a scowl, and Acrid caught that. So did Fear. “Sorry, it's not directed toward you. Just have a lot of thoughts.”
Acrid nodded and patted his date on the shoulder. Fear didn't see it like that but the older stallion did. He wanted to impress him. “You remember when we first met and you took me to your home?”
“Yeah? What about it?” Fear's tone was genuinely curious as they walked together, with his partner occasionally bumping him.
“I was thinking. I was really harsh back then. I hope you forgive me. I didn't mean to make that joke about your plushie.”
Fear thought back on it. Acrid had made fun of him for it or something to that effect, but then he'd seen the depressed look on his face, and not only had he taken back the remark but he deprecated himself by saying he had plushies too and he was a dumbass for acting like he was somehow cool. Something about hypocrisy and school. Fear didn't really recall, it hadn't been important. The fix had been enough to leave him content. Though... he realized that the silence hadn't been the only thing bothering Acrid. “It's fine. Don't worry about it. I know what it's like to regret things.”
Acrid's lips twisted upward and he glanced to the side, away from him. “...Thanks.” There was a quiet sigh. “If it's not all that, then what's bothering you Fear?” He hoped the younger stallion wasn't wise to his plan.
Fear just shrugged, staring at the ground ahead of him. Cats still watched them occasionally but it was more rare now. He could feel suspicion in Acrid's soul but let it roll off of him. “It's nothing much... it's just...” He hesitated. Acrid nudged him to speak up, express himself. “Well. You don't think it makes me a bad pony if I don't put more than one hundred percent of my effort into the things I care about? I feel like maybe I'm stretching myself really thin. But that's how it's always been. Ever since I grew capable of handling it. And be honest, don't spare my feelings.”
The older stallion didn't even need to be told not to spare his feelings. “Fear? You're a dumbass.” He shook his head and bopped Fear on the noggin, causing him to look questioningly at him. “You care about literally everything from what I've seen. You're going to burn yourself out if you don't choose your battles more carefully. It's amazing you haven't already. You have a lot of endurance.”
Well I am always kinda tired, Fear thought.
“You shouldn't worry about it too much. Sometimes we need to just have fun with our lives, and stop worrying about what everyone thinks, and what our impact on the world is going to be.”
“What makes you say that?” Fear asked.
“Well... ever since I woke up from cryostasis, I realized everything I ever knew, everything I ever cared about was long dead and gone. It's a traumatic feeling, knowing the world skipped by you and there was nothing you can do about it. That everything you believed in was actually toxic and led to the downfall of a whole species. I appreciate you giving me the chance to be a hero, even if it wasn't your intent,” Acrid explained, “but in order to not go insane I've had to learn to accept what I can't do, and learn that it's okay to be imperfect sometimes. Tartarus, I've spent a couple months on this journey, been trying to relearn everything I forgot. I'm trying to catch up to you. But all I can do to keep my sanity is tell myself with all sincerity that I'm not a bad pony just because everything I cared about is dead and there was nothing I could do.”
Fear frowned deeply. “But what if I fail in the here and now, at an important moment because I didn't put enough effort in and then that small thing builds up into one big huge thing?”
Acrid purred in frustration. “Then it happens. You can't hold the world on your shoulders forever. Besides, you're the one who's died twice, you know life continues on after all this one way or another... unless it was chemicals in the brain.” He twirled a hoof. “I just know that if you don't give your body time to rest because you're always doing more than your fair share – always – then you're not going to be able to be there during the important moments. It's okay to not do everything, or be a perfectionist. It's okay to delegate and rely on others. You learned that with the Overvalkying.” Acrid wrapped Fear up in a hug as they walked. “So calm down okay? Just take life as it comes. Stop thinking about all the what ifs. That's your mother talking.”
Fear tried not to smile but it just turned into a spiteful grin. “I guess you're right... I guess. Dad tells me I get my constant worrying from her. He says it just manifests a tiny bit differently than it did for her. But both of us still try hard to remain in control.”
“See?” Acrid cemented. “You're just a pony who's scared and you want to be in control. But you don't have to be. You got us.”
Fear smiled wanly, his eyes exhausted. “Thanks Acrid.”
“Sure thing.” A beat. “Now let's go pick up some souvenirs or whatever. You were the one who said the visit wouldn't feel real unless we brought something back.” A laugh. “For someone who spends half his world in lucid dreams you sure have some weird thoughts about what is and isn't real.”
Fear spun a hoof and rolled his eyes, his simper stretching from ear to ear. “Alright.”
The store they entered was a miscellaneous knick knack store by the name of Jirard’s Filled Drawer Emporium, its highest selling point that you'd find something for anything. It was filled from bottom to top in shelves completely covered in merchandise and various items of varying value. The shop, in its partnership, was connected to a comic book store right next to it, both registers manned constantly. Fear and Acrid joked about the absurdity of these two places being put together and laughed it off. But the first place they stopped was a corner of the store that had an old fashioned, polished warble machine playing pre-set background music. It was beautiful in its chimes, but it seemed rather... pretentious for what little it could do.
Fear was the one to excuse it. “Well, maybe that's just how Abyssinians roll? I mean they have all the time in the world it feels like, so why wouldn't they? They can do anything so they might as well live life large.”
Acrid frowned slightly. “I guess. It just seems like a waste given it doesn't seem easy to mass produce these things.”
A bark of laughter from Fear. “They probably don't care. They got the resources to be both mass producing and using hand crafted items.”
The cat operating the warble machine nodded and twisted around to face them. “Your friend's right. You two seem to be new here, but I hope you enjoy what we have to offer.”
Well, Fear thought, It's nice not all the Abyssinians here aside from Gentler's family are disrespectful in some way. Faith had told Fear how Butters' behavior, kneeling down to their level had irritated her because it made her feel like she wasn't equal, just being patronized. Fear hadn't gotten that view at all, but he understood where she was coming from. Faith didn't show it often but she was a strong mare that fought with the best of them to earn respect for herself.
That was one of the things Faith had liked about him from the start, his respect for her. Most ponies didn't pay any attention, nor look at her with the same kind of awe Fear had when they first met, because she was a street preacher. It might come as a surprise to most, but street preachers and respect don't quite go hand in hand. At least that was how Faith phrased it.
“Thank you sir,” Fear gratefully spoke to the Abyssinian. “Let's go look around Acrid and stop bothering the kind feline.”
Acrid huffed. “Fine. But only for you.” The two left, their ears flicking as the warble machine ended and started back up again. They parted ways and started looking through the shelves.
Fear found multiple things that were of value, or at least to him. One was a Mega Mare bobblehead, but a specialized Abyssinian version (collect them all!) It didn't come with any stories or explanation though, so he wasn't too excited about it. So he moved on. There was also an ornate quilt in a bargain bin among many others that had an expressive winter scene woven into it. Apparently it was for sleeping on or under, called a comforter. It was cool – Fear liked winter because snow was the only weather that looked pretty in the wasteland. Rain was nice but it had a chance to be acidic. The problem was he couldn't carry that around with him in his almost overburdened saddlebags. Then there was a mug that said “I'm Eggscellent” on it in stylized lettering. Tempting, but it might break easily and it wasn't like he was going to use it – that's what his canteen was for! Then there was a water elemental plushie named Mistle that looked like a cross between a clown and a seal, covered in blues and whites, with a cyan and white skirt, and a pink bulbous nose and threaded whiskers.
Now Mistle was truly the best Fear could ask for, and he was sorely motivated to grab it and purchase him.
There were squishmallows in the shape of Puckwudgies and other Everfree Forest monsters that were the exact same size as Fear. A big 'no.' He couldn't carry that! He kept moving on and found some dolls and toys, one was called a Perseverance Fractal Doll, and it was a toy that would always reorient itself to stand up on its legs after being knocked over due to physics, but it also had other dolls trapped inside of it that just kept going down and down.
Fear was more interested in the floral shampoos, oriental, amber, and seabreeze colognes, and the tropical, fruity perfumes that smelled like a succulent's nectar. They were all in the self care aisle, along with a bunch of scented and vibrantly-hued bath bombs, candles, and bubble soaps that Fear could smell easily – one was like fresh cotton. But these items were a one time thing that would end with enough use.
So no to that as well.
In the music section were a strange thing called CDs that Fear wasn't familiar with. Though he was familiar with vinyl records! He rifled through them until he came across one with a beautiful valley that said Eight Melodies on it. This would be good for Mirage... but did he want to spend his money on this? It wasn't primarily for him.
Also if he wanted Mistle he'd have to make some room in his saddlebags. And he really wanted Mistle. He wondered what franchise he was from, but it didn't matter. He'd find out before he left.
So he decided to sell the jarred changeling aphrodisiac in his best salesman voice, ringing out and confident. Talking about all the benefits and uses, from help with sex life all the way to just helping with your kinks.
“But can it be reproduced?”
“I mean maybe?” Fear responded. “I mean sure. Yeah. I'm sure it can! Just bring it to some scientists and they can recreate it after enough time.”
Acrid watched Fear haggle with the Abyssinian expertly with a raised eyebrow, starting with an exorbitant price and then slowly lowering it more and more, until he settled on a low end number and some positive gossip.
“You got yourself a deal, kid. You're not bad at selling stuff.”
The jar was handed over.
Affinity +80.
Fear immediately used some of the extra money to buy Mistle and the Eight Melodies vinyl.
“Jeez kid, you could've just told me you wanted some of my wares.” The alabaster white Abyssinian shrugged and accepted the trade, giving Fear some extra money in the form of paper bills.
Acrid was impressed.
Next they headed over to the comic book store section.
That was where Fear learned where Mistle was from. He was from a series of visual novels along with a number of other characters of specialized species. Every species had an element, and the species was different depending on if they were male or female, with some mixture in between depending on if they identified as something else. Often referred to as a Dual Souled shaman. Fear didn't know what to make of it but he liked the premise. Mistle was going around from nation to nation, learning how to apply the teachings of every other element to his own in order to make it greater, to magnify its prowess, while also making friends, gathering allies in order to take on the gods who were seen as malicious entities. Mistle was a water element, and apparently there were over twenty other aspects. It was apparently an adult series with extremely dark tones and intense moral lessons in every installment.
Fear also found old Mega Mare comics, and an offshoot series called Alpha Mare where the titular protagonist explored the world looking for her place in it after Mega Mare's success and Alpha's redemption. Mega continued seeking out peace, trying to stamp out violence wherever it stemmed, but Alpha just wanted to live in true harmony, even with her enemies. There were also Limit Breaker comics, a hero who was constantly surpassing expectations and everything around him in order to save the world. His archnemesis was a mare who loved Limit but was, in her heart a villain who would never change her ways. It was silly, but Fear was intrigued as he looked through the glass cases and the Abyssinian behind the counter explained the series to him. There were other comics with Abyssinian heroes, and some pony comics. The merchant elaborated that there were a few Abyssinian artists who didn't want to let the old Equestria heroes die so they revived them and told their own stories.
So a lot of these stories weren't the originals, but remakes? That was interesting.
The young stallion bought a copy of Mistle's first adventures, and some Mega Mare comics. Acrid bought an issue or two of Limit Breaker, explaining he'd grown up with him and he was the reason why he'd wanted to be a hero in the first place. It was just a shame that Limit hardly ever failed when it counted, like Acrid had. But the two young stallions were becoming wiser by the day with each other's help. Though... Acrid did explain that Limit always failed to redeem his archnemesis Diamond Will all the way to the end, and even in the end, when she died saving Limit's life and confessing her feelings, and how they may never be together morally, but they could be together emotionally. They stressed each other out to no end, Acrid explained, but they gave each other a form of stability no one else could.
The two left happy with their purchases, tucked away in their saddlebags. Fear knew he was going to enjoy the Adventures of Mistle and Friends!
Next stop was the arcade they'd seen on the way to the palace. It was a place full of chimes, blaring horns, and 8-bit music that was hard to differentiate unless you were in front of the cabinet that was echoing the sounds. Fear used some of his money to get them a bunch of tokens, and they wandered around trying out various machines together. They played a fighting game together that Acrid remembered from back in Equestria that was made up of multiple species, with the bad guy obviously being a zebra.
How did they allow that here, Fear wondered. Not that he knew, but industries in other realities didn’t pull TV shows off the air and games from shelves just because they were out of touch. They were classics, products of their time. It was understandable. Acrid taught Fear how to play. There was also Mareio, a platformer intensive video game with simple graphics and randomly generated levels with various settings. It was pretty difficult!
It was inevitable the duo would end up getting yell-y and intense, with Fear smashing buttons and Acrid having a more dexterous technique, both of them fiddling the joysticks as they mirthfully played every game at least once, talking with each other about what they thought the thought process behind each game was and shit talking each other. It wasn't often Fear's sass came out as thoroughly as it did then. He tried to be tough, playfully so, but it was always silly one-liners that barely correlated, while Acrid constantly made fun of both of them, the games, and the cats around them. Nothing was sacred, no one was safe. Acrid learned of Fear's dry sarcastic wit from their experience, and Fear realized Acrid could lighten the mood of anything. Whenever Fear was getting too serious, too focused, Acrid pulled him out of it and reminded him it wasn't that big of a deal.
Fear remembered the Nightmare Night cabinet from the topics of their group discussions. Gentler had explained it, and Fear found out for himself that it was a game where you played as an alicorn firing spells at nightmare shades, glitching monstrosities that terrified Fear because they reminded him of the Surreal. There were also obstacles you had to fly over and through. It was a little like Koirbo in some ways, but with a gameplay style akin to Mega Mare. Then there was an arcade cabinet based on Tempest's adventures – a brawler but using out of control magic. One gaming cabinet was a horror game where you were a colt or filly attempting to flee and hide from Tirek's magic draining powers and find the weapon that could banish him back to Tartarus. Further in were more Abyssinian oriented games – including some shooters with zombies, aliens, etc. Acrid had a hard time holding the plastic firearm, but Fear used telekinesis on it with ease. Honestly, there was something for every villain ever known throughout the world, including places outside Equestria, including the Storm King where the Abyssinian brother and sister were climbing through various locales in a wild storm in order to sneakily grab his staff of power.
One cabinet involved beating a pair of twins similar to Flim and Flam; although far more bulbous and cuter. More like eggs. It was all about speed and exploration, depending on which of the three characters you were playing as, requiring you to have extreme skill in order to get the special gems that would break the game. All about potential!
Another arcade machine was an action 2D shooter that involved eliminating the changeling menace from the face of the world with high caliber firepower. You also had a wire grappler for getting tough to reach spots and power-ups.
There was also an Ogres and Oubliettes style RPG brawler with multiple classes, with up to four players at a time. Fear and Acrid spent multiple tokens on it, and a couple young Abyssinians in the arcade at the time helped them out by playing with them. The personalities didn't quite click, but they weren't abrasive either. But fun was had despite.
It wasn't long before they left the arcade with stimulated, excited, hyperactive minds, constantly murmuring between each other about how they wished they'd been born during other eras so they could try taking on these villains for real.
The games were good enough though. Unfortunately there hadn't been anything Mega Mare related. The arcade owner had told them that cabinet was back in storage along with some others, kept hidden away until it was time to switch them out. It helped keep things fresh and generated a longing to play the classics.
After all, the moment you wanted something the most was the moment you couldn't have it. Just standard commercialism tactics.
There were a few other things on their itinerary, a couple things Acrid had suggested and Fear agreed to because... Fear was agreeable, and also because he sincerely saw the joy in these potential activities. They traveled to an arena further into the city that Gentler had told them about, and they watched a wrestling match. At first the two were silent in a sea of cheering, rioting fans rooting for their favorite masked wrestlers, but soon enough as they figured out who was who, and who had what personality from their speeches, the two were swept up into the fervor as well. After all the matches were done, both of them, not knowing any better, wandered to the preparation rooms and through a combo of sheer dumb luck, Fear's charisma, and Acrid's lighthearted cluelessness they ended up finding Abyssinian friends.
Well, it was that and also because rumors had been going around the entire city about the equines who were visiting and Gentler's return. The masked wrestlers wanted to see what the cutesy little equines were made of, how good they were at grapples, punches, kicks. Fear learned how to do a proper drop kick, the elements of a good kayfabe, and tips on how to get someone in a choke hold. Acrid discovered how to hype himself up as a heel and, less expected, was given ideas on how to make himself far more mobile with his earth manipulation. To make a muddy slope for him to gather speed on, it was as simple as dithering the dirt until it became mucky like it was soaked with water, but just on the surface, not deep down under. It had come up after a long conversation about their own histories as they were guided through making their wrestling personas, and one of the cats used earth manipulation gems back when he was a farmer. The two were given some personal hands on teaching.
The day had been stupidly good and incredibly splendid so far. The two were on cloud nine, having forgotten all about the wasteland as they conversed between each other, falling into a groove, moving from place to place. Acrid was still declaring how if he ever got to meet DJ-P0N3 he was going to make himself out to be a chaotic good anti-hero, and he connived with Fear to make him the lawful good hero. Fear wasn't comfortable with that because he was far from lawful good. After all, it wasn't like he spared every single raider's life he came across. Sometimes you had to cure the wasteland of its ills through a good old fashioned cleansing when one didn't show hints of wanting to change.
Sure Fear always gave them the choice to change while they were completely bound and defenseless, and he could sense lies, but that didn't matter that much did it? If a pony was going to change it would be right on the verge of death when they realized all their methods of survival or carnal pleasure had gotten them an early death.
Most raiders did not accept Fear's proposition to redeem themselves.
So they died.
Acrid barked laughter. “That's still way more than I'm sure any other pony would do! You're like some kind of redemption angel. It's kind of creepy.”
Fear sighed and looked off to the side at the ground.
“Okay maybe not that creepy. It's just weird that you're being the cause for a few pony's redemption story. Feels a little... strange ya know?” Acrid asked, trying to put his hoof on why it was odd.
Fear shrugged. “I mean if not me, then who? If no one else is going to do it, then someone has to. And if I'm there it might as well be me. I don't want everyone to just die.”
Acrid shook his head and tsked. “You know some of them probably returned to the raider life when it got too hard right? The wasteland obviously doesn't make a righteous life that easy.”
Fear hrmphed. “Well I mean... I don't know. I guess it sucks but what else am I going to do? Just constantly murder everyone who does bad things? We were just talking about how it's okay to fail sometimes.”
Acrid fluttered his eyelashes, smiling broadly. “Fear. You are lawful good. Your concern about failing doesn't even matter to you if it means someone will get the same chance you did. It might be a curse that you're subjecting others to, but I won't lie it's admirable. Still...” a sigh. “It'd be nice if we could protect everyone.”
“Don't I know it! Let's go try on some clothes. You said the last couple times you did it, you felt like a whole new you.”
“Right. Come on.” Acrid pulled Fear along the road toward a clothing shop.
Fear and Acrid were both unsure they would find clothes that would fit them, but as fortune would have it, the clothes meant for kittens were good enough. Acrid's size was about a young adult's and Fear's was the size of a kid. Acrid spoke about his wrestling name, getting invigorated at the idea as they passed clothes between each other and hung out in changing rooms next to each other. Acrid's name would be the Ashen Lore, to reflect his anti-hero personality, and he'd be an earthbending scholar who used magic as well as wrestling moves to incapacitate his opponents. After all, anyone with magic had to be a scholar.
...Right?
Fear joined in the merriment again swiftly, trying to come up with a name for himself. The Nova Nightlight, he decided. Or maybe the Prismatic Angel?
Acrid guffawed, joking that Fear's body wasn't built for it so he'd have to cheat with magic.
“I can show you some moves using momentum in the bedroom if you'd like,” the young stallion flirted.
Acrid blushed intensely, going wide eyed. It wasn't just the tease that'd made him jerk and have a powerful reaction, it was the fact that Fear had actually stood up to him in such a flirtatious way. He never thought it was possible.
It wasn't surprising though, the two found, even as Fear regretted flirting so nonchalantly, that they felt the way they did.
Fear and Acrid tried on bandanna masks with various designs. Monstrous fangs, big pillowy lips, hanging tongues, toothy smiles, golden teeth. Fear tried on a pair of purple and green cotton socks for his hindlegs and a second pair of the same ones for his forelegs; they were big enough to reach up to his thighs. He fit a snake-scale patterned sundress on, and fitted a gold buckle mantle on his shoulders, all the colors fitting together incredibly well. A fusion of greens, purples, and lavenders. Fear also put a tiara on his head. It wasn't often he attempted to look feminine, but it worked for him and his body.
Fear also experimented with more traditional feline clothing like a tailed coat with long sleeves and a cravat, made to make young kittens look formal and neat. He had to roll the coat's sleeves up a bit though. It was colored the same blue as his eyes, though the interior of it was the same color but paler. He switched between a cravat that was the same color as his hair, and one that was charcoal black – it reminded him of his sister's etheric chroma.
Acrid meanwhile was walking around wearing a dress suit, rather fancy, with an ornate vest like a lawyer would wear, or maybe a high ranking criminal. He also tried on more casual wear like a regular hoodie and harem long shorts made of cotton and linen. Fear liked that look a lot better than the formal fabrics! The hoodie was plastered with the four card suits, while the harem shorts were the same color as the hoodie. The clothing felt super soft to the touch and Fear eventually found himself rubbing against it a little.
During it all, especially Fear's experimentation, he couldn't help but look at his scarred left eye. He'd always thought such things were cool but... the wrinkled redness tainted his normal beauty. It marred his beautiful, coltish face. Abyssinians had been staring at it whenever they talked to him.
“Hey Acrid? Does my scar make me look ugly?” Fear wanted reassurance, even if it was a lie. Okay maybe not if it was a lie but... he just wanted to make sure he was still attractive to others, not just Acrid. It was obvious Acrid was attracted to his personality mostly.
“I think it's endearing and cool. Try not to worry about it too much. Anyone who matters will appreciate the story over the mark itself.”
Fear sighed and cocked his head to the side looking at it. He wished he could get a second opinion. It was weird. Having a perfect face seemed so distant now. The grass is always greener on the other side. He'd just have to accept this was him now. He was scarred for life, physically as well as mentally.
They headed out without buying anything, though Fear thought intensely about getting the hoodie and harem shorts for Acrid. Acrid explained that while he liked it too, he wanted something that expressed him a little more. Some kind of fancy design that was him. Maybe some blacks and grays, with a brown tree on the front of the sweatshirt getting ready to bloom after a long winter. His birthday was at the cusp of spring after all.
Fair, Fear thought about self-expression. I want that too.
Onward they went, exploring the city in tandem with each other, looking into every nook and cranny, finding out of the way restaurants that had food from different parts of the world, and eventually even Silken's sex toy shop.
They were technically minors, but no one had to know that. Acrid had to vouch for Fear's age though because he looked like a colt. The cat behind the register barely cared about his job anymore because it was so boring and didn't pay as much as he'd like. Stepping stones his ass. Every job should pay enough to live.
Fear and Acrid looked around at all the different things, with Acrid teasing the other about getting a 'cat safety harness' in order to lead him around by. Fear flirted with Acrid by saying “only if you wear a bit and reins.”
While they were there, Fear transformed himself slightly so he could experience what it was like to get high on catnip oils. It involved abrupt jerking, sudden relaxation, foggy brain activity that was all over the place, and a heightening of arousal. Fear was busy convulsing on the floor for a few minutes as it ran through his system.
Buster, the cat behind the counter, again, did not ask questions. Although in his mind it cemented Fear was of age, how could someone who wasn't do something like that?
They moved on swiftly enough; although Fear sorely wanted to try out the dildos and Acrid thought about getting a fleshlight.
That had been off their itinerary but just as well they'd done it – it'd been fun. But then they finally found the candy shop they'd been looking for. Pop's Sweets, it read in stylistically shoddy painted letters above the shop. Giving it some flair.
Upon entering they were inundated in a jumble of sweetly tinkling notes, asynchronous and random, but making vague, imaginary melodies like seeing images on a popcorn ceiling. The whole place was like something from a fantasy game, and as Fear and Acrid wandered around they found not only sweets. Some they recognized (Fear from traveling in the wastes, and Acrid from before his stasis). There was everything from fruity to chocolate, to sour to spicy, and even bitter and sweet of all kinds - wafer sticks too! Even fruits Fear and Acrid had never heard of before were labeled on the backs of some of them. There were also snacks like popcorn, something akin to pocky with various flavors, including a mint chocolate swirl. Pixie sticks were also displayed on the counter, which Acrid told Fear could be huffed like a drug, and had, by some ponies in his classes because they were trying to be grown up and rebels.
Acrid and Fear scoured over the candy before them, held in glass cases and on shelves, some lollipops, and other sweets. Acrid saw some spicy cinnamon sticks and menthol gum and an idea was gradually collating in his brain. A really smart idea. “Hey, Fear? I don't suppose you know much about spice and menthol?”
“No? What's menthol?”
Acrid grinned stupidly. “Menthol is a type of chemical that makes your mouth feel incredibly cold. I was thinking maybe if you combined spicy and menthol maybe it would cancel each other out?”
Fear didn't like where this was going. The cat behind the counter considered saying something, but then smiled and shook her head in pity. “Well I mean if you wanna try it, do it. I'm not going to stop you.”
“Nothing spent, nothing gained,” Acrid spoke, and then asked the Abyssinian for the spicy stalks and something that was basically peanut M&Ms, but covered in menthol. “Menthol is also used for breath.”
The cat reached into the case and took out the directed candies, pulling out a couple and taking the bits of cash, and handed them to Acrid.
Fear was having second thoughts. “I don't think this is a good idea actually, Acrid...” his intuition was speaking to him.
Acrid merely shrugged and popped the peanut chocolate in his mouth, snapping down on it. Immediately the menthol coated his tongue and made it feel like there was a constant icy breeze flowing in his mouth, making it feel uncomfortable to pant. “O-gay...” he spoke. “Now for the spice.” And he stuffed a cinnamon stick into his mouth, chomping down to the end in quick succession, smashing it around in his mouth.
Fear watched in wonder and concern.
Acrid immediately froze up, salivating over his chin and bringing his hooves up to his neck and grasping at it as he swallowed the capsaicin and menthol all at once. He fell. Writhed. Convulsed. His body was spasming and he was groaning and trying to keep his mouth shut because opening it caused hellfire to rage on his tongue and in his throat. His eyes rolled into the back of his throat and he foamed at the mouth with spittle.
Fear looked at Acrid pityingly, before setting a hoof on his stomach and gently caressing him. “I told you so. Why would two different sensations cancel each other out? Doesn't spice make you more receptive to heat? Not actually generate heat? Something like that?”
The candy clerk nodded. “Yes. You're right little one. Those candies enhance those sensations with chemicals by fiddling with the nerves. Your friend there will be okay.”
“I'm not concerned to be honest.” Fear stated simply as Acrid lay on the floor gasping out like a dying fish, eyes crossed over his snout. “It's not like I thought he'd been poisoned. It's just a bunch of candy.”
“Well I mean he could've had an allergic reaction...” She rolled a paw.
“Fair. But I think he would've known by now. We had cinnamon earlier today, and he would've mentioned a peanut allergy. He also acted like he'd had menthol before.” Fear was calm as a cucumber.
“Wow,” The Abyssinian stated. “You're really logical. Are you always like that?”
Fear smiled dourly, letting out a snort. “Not always.” He paused. “My sister and I got the trait from our mother, though it appears at different times.”
Acrid finally huffed, puffed, and panted, feeling the sensations slowly dwindle, though his mouth was still scrunched up from various levels of pain. “Haah... haah... haah... holy shit that was intense! What a ride!” He turned to Fear. “You gotta try that Fear!”
“I'll refrain,” Fear spoke simply. “I'll eat them separately but I'm not going to do what you did. I have more self respect.”
“Hah!” Acrid scoffed. “That's new for you!”
Fear rolled a hoof, lidding his eyes and simpering. “I'm not going to intentionally punish myself unless I like the treatment Acrid. But you can punish me anytime you want.” He gave the stallion a wink and turned around, slapping Acrid in the face lightly with his tail. The older stallion was speechless.
“Hey! At least try some other candies,” Acrid finally spoke up, reaching out to a box of fruity shells filled with juice that melted in the mouth, could be chewed could be sucked on. Acrid held it out, opening and closing the lid. “C'mon Feeeeear eeeeat meeeeee. You're a cuuuuutie.” Acrid threw his voice, making it nasally in order to coax the younger stallion into falling for the bait.
Fear arced his eyes and simpered a little more deeply, turning back and fluttering his eyelashes. It didn't look as pretty with his scar. “Fine, if both of you say so.” He said, giving in. “We'll buy this one, miss.”
The fruity candies turned out to be really good, and similar to what he'd eaten in the wasteland so long ago. Just not as chewy.
Up until then they'd been more or less searching extensively for the activities they'd wanted to partake in that day, but later in the day, not quite sunset but still in the evening, they busied themselves with exploring the city proper, wandering around and having a genuine journey, where the travels mattered more than the destination. Sure, their destination was home but they were sure they'd find something fun to do as a final note to end the day on.
And so they did.
Fear and Acrid found a small sign hanging out a shop that displayed a wine tasting going on in its confines for a number of hours, and all were welcome so long as they paid the fee. It was a sophisticated event, and while Fear and Acrid weren't dressed for the part, they still decided to partake anyway, heading in.
The event lasted a while, and seeing as it was their first time and they were exotic guests, they were given a few tips on how to most effectively take advantage of what was going on. The orders were to not spit it out unless they intended to be there for a long time, and they were guided through the process of how to make the most of it. The two were told to sniff the wine bottle right after opening, to get the first scent, then to fill a quarter of the glass with the liquid. Look at the edges of the wine, examine the colors, become accustomed with all the details. They learned that red wines had sediment at the bottom. Next they were told to swirl their glass to mix it all up a bit, then sniff. Then taste. Swirl it around, let it sit. Analyze, and swallow. Feel out the surface tension, explore the tastes, the textures, the mouth feel, and especially the aftertaste. Experience the effects, how strong it was, how it felt going down the throat, and discuss it with each other.
Acrid and Fear did just that, thanking the Abyssinian who'd explained it to them, and went around from stall to stall, taking a small bottle of wine and sharing it between the two of them, clinking their glasses each time (you were supposed to toast right? That was a requirement?) It took hours, just constantly sipping bits of wine, and by the end they were tipsy, Fear nigh drunk if not for his experience drinking with Gentler, and had to leave before they got too rowdy and disrupted the felines in the building. They had to take some time to sober up, maybe splash some water on their faces, drink a little of it to make sure they wouldn't have a hangover later. Some crackers were given to them before they left to help absorb the various alcohols they'd ingested. Fear was a happy, slurry drunk with a penchant for dodging every social judgment thrown at him, while Acrid was a weepy, sincere drunk who told everyone he loved them, only he'd been tipsy not full blown hammered.
They ended their day out by getting a pair of cannolis. Not the same kind of creamy treat Acrid used to get at carnivals, but good enough for Fear to find himself enamored with a new sweet, and the other to have vivid flashbacks to better times. Acrid got a little mournful.
“You okay, Acrid?” Fear asked while nibbling his cannoli.
Acrid nodded with a whimpering 'mhm.' His eyes were squeezed shut tightly, and tears were forming in his eyes. “It's just...” He swallowed his bite as they sat on the side of the street together. “I miss home so much. I can't believe I've lost so much.” His heart ached, Fear could sense it, even if it was blurred with everything else around him, as he stared ahead. “I couldn't do anything for anyone and sometimes it just... gets to me.”
Fear was still not entirely sobered up, so it took a lot of concentration to get his thoughts in order and out his mouth. “Y-yyyou m-mmmight not have it any-anymore, but you have… hhhave more you can build up. You're s-ssstronger than me, Acrid.” His voice was a little slurred, a little tipsy. “You've… vvvvvve shown me today that I've been… been a little cowardly in how I d-deal with… wwwwwith life. And I gotta try to act more f-ffffervently to enjoy it. Even ifffff my fears d-do come true, I n-nnneed to cherish the time I h-have.”
Acrid glanced to Fear, smiling gently. “No problem, Fear. I'm glad I could help.” His voice was strained. “And... I guess. I appreciate the compliment.”
The two nodded once, and fell into a solitary reprieve softened by only each other's presence. Things would be okay. They just had a lot to work through.
Gentler had his paws thrust in his pockets. He'd left his greaves and gauntlets back at home in his room, and wore a pair of old moccasins he'd left behind for years but were still durable and fit well. His paws were tucked away in the new-old cloak, a forest green in color like a detective's trenchcoat. Pockets sewn into the sides subtly, giving it a modern-ish flair. On his legs were a pair of leggings that were ruffled around the thighs with a deep, black-ish azure hue. His chest covered by a simplistic long-sleeve top with far more elegant leather chest armor overlaid. The leather was dyed black, and the cloth under it had the same saturated color as his pants. It had been a long time since he'd worn the formal soldier's clothing that was a hand-me-down from his father, yet it still felt comfortable and hit all the right crevices, showing off his muscular figure. Faith had called the tabby handsome. And with his twisted, crooked whiskers he did indeed look handsome. Battle-worn compared to all the sheltered Abyssinians around him, but still handsome.
Faith wore one of Gentler's sister's old forest green mantles, buckled at the chest with a silver ring and spike. The ring was ornate. Old, appropriated kirin patterns were etched into the shimmering metal. The fabric was a mix, mostly cotton, insulated with fleece. It cascaded over her barrel, having some firm rigidity to it that kept it from draping so much as billow a bit. Giving it a faint sense of volume, and making Faith appear more regal than she was. It went well with her sky blue coat of fur, making it brighter by complementing it, though it dulled the color in her eyes. The best part though, was how it contrasted with her pink and silver mane, bringing out the laurel braids and everything else that made her look like a princess. Her age barely came through, despite the crow's feet in her eyes. She looked almost... royal. Like a noble. And that was not lost on the populace forced to do a double take from seeing the mare walk down the streets.
It helped that she looked even more formal due to the ferronnière encircling her forehead, made up of thin silver chain links polished to a shine, and a sunburst faceted pink topaz inset in the middle that matched her hair.
“Remember what I said please, Faith,” Gentler whispered. “No preaching while we're here in Abyssinia.”
“You never really explained why.” Faith nudged Gentler's hip with an elbow. “You embarrassed to be around me?”
Gentler rolled his shoulders, letting the tease tumble off of him like water. “Nah. We all get together and do it for your birthday, and I know you know that.” He threw her a grin, his lemon eyes contrasting with the formal wear, while melting together with the cloak. “It's because you can potentially get in trouble.”
Faith nodded once, closing her eyes. “Alright, if you're sure. I'll keep a low profile just for now. I don't want to get us kicked out after all.”
“Thank you,” Gentler responded, patting Faith on the head with a bare paw and tracing down her neck.
Anyone else would have gotten bucked for the touch due to how demeaning it was to be pat on the head by someone taller than you (in Faith's opinion at least), but she knew Gentler was just showing affection and appreciation. Which was rare for him. He normally only did so when he was incredibly drunk. And even then he was obstinate and loud, often tying things around his forehead like it was a sweatband. “No problem. Just remember your manners around me Sir Gentler Stoic.” There was a chastising, provocative tone to her voice. They were wandering around Abyssinia, heading to the ice cream shop to get a couple treats for them.
In the ice cream shop Gentler spoke about the history of Panthera, ending every impressive factoid with 'true story' as if to draw her ire or make her more amused. “Hey, Faith, anyone ever told you that you'd look sexy in a nun outfit?”
Faith chortled. “Don't put the cart before the pony loverboy. You're not getting any of this that easily.”
Gentler and Faith sat together, near each other, on top of a large branching clocktower that had been designed such that its arching branches had little clock faces of their own that represented the times in other areas of the world. They twisted and turned like some kind of surrealist architecture, stable for some reason that Gentler couldn't explain. Behind the two was the door into the tower proper that they'd come from. Every hour that passed, the main tower chimed with a shifting tune drawing out a melody every Abyssinian had been familiar with since birth for decades. Something every domestic cat had etched in their DNA. Gentler held an ice cream milkshake filled with strawberry and mint with little chocolate chips sprinkled in and chopped up, while Faith carried a waffle cone with two scoops of different fruity sorbets, one scoop of cookie crumble, and another scoop of mint fudge ribbon. The mare licked hers and occasionally munched, while the tomcat slurped his drink, chewing on the chocolate chips that came up the straw into his mouth.
“So what exactly aroused your highness to such a big, powerful dragon?” Gentler badgered Faith with the sarcastic, yet sincere question before sucking on his straw.
Faith hummed, narrowing her eyes as they looked out to the blue, untainted sky, sun bearing on them like they were in the tropics. They could see the whole side of this city. The sea was to the left of them, and the untamed rainforests plus the snow-capped mountains were to the right of them. Behind them and ahead of them were roads leading out of the city to other places in Abyssinia. “When I first met him, I saw only his raw, untameable strength and capability.” She licked her ice cream, every single scoop that melted together. “His smoldering emotion, ready to flare up like his flame breath, spoke to me. I saw someone who was always in control of everything around him, someone who didn't need a mother, but a confidant.” She simpered lightly, thinking back on good times. She had no explicit regrets, just actions she wished had been enough.
“Someone I could swap ideas with,” Faith continued after a moment. “I was able to rely on him a little more than I liked, but that's what happens when you're in a relationship, when you can depend on each other and put your life in each other's hooves.” She shrugged, and nibbled on the top-most scoop, pulling off a soft chunk. “You begin to fall into their embrace and dance with them emotionally, socially, mentally. Physically. You become part of their life, and their life part of yours.” Faith was quiet for a few moments as the sound of exotic birds flittered closer to the city heights. “To be honest I still have feelings for him on a physical level, despite feeling like he betrayed me.”
Gentler stared down at the city, shlucking his shake. “Why's that?”
Faith chuckled, tilting her head from side to side in amusement. “It's obvious, I'm sure. I remember what he was like in bed, and how I was one of the few who could truly handle him and his vigor, even if it sometimes meant riding him like a cowgirl.” Faith shuddered from the memory, her mouth twitching and twisting into an aroused snarl. “Why haven't you settled down with anyone yet, Gentler?”
Gentler lifted a shoulder, looking out lazily to the horizon. “I don't know. Just looking for the right woman. Someone who fits my emotional needs without being overbearing or belittling me, thinking I can't take care of myself. You'd be surprised at just how many equines out there are subconsciously xenophobic or prejudiced, and no one here was able to hold my interest.” He shifted in place, holding the Regal Robin shake in his firm grip. “I want someone who adds to me, not completes me. But is also morally upright. There haven't been many like that. Relationships are fickle things as I'm sure you've found. And usually they're based primarily on physical attraction. Good sex isn't everything as you also found.” The cat shot Faith a wink.
Faith just murmured agreement. She knew Gentler was merely antagonizing her to get a rise. He did it often. It was their little game. Faith was more than keen to it by this point. They both knew Drax wasn't quite just a physical attraction. “I'd give Drax another chance if he was willing to work on himself again. Perfection is an unattainable ideal and we all fall short, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't keep trying. Relationships are the same way.”
Gentler nodded, leaning to one side, toward Faith. “Speaking of perfection, you ever been to a strip club? There are tomcats and 'queens' there. You might find a body type you like. I got some money to spend. You interested in seeing the underbelly of the city?”
Faith slyly glanced at Gentler. “After we finish our ice cream, sweetie.” She sounded like she was speaking down to a child.
Gentler just snickered as they finished their ice cream. There was a small lull in conversation, until the two discussed their sexuality, when they'd discovered that part of themselves, aspects of their gender identity. Gentler was defiantly masculine, with some feminine traits as far as he saw himself, though he didn't like thinking about it much, whereas Faith saw herself in an almost non-binary light, even though they both saw themselves as parental figures to Fear and Acrid. The lower bits weren't important to her beyond how she experienced pleasure. The conversation got a little deeper as they finished their ice cream, about the nature of sexuality.
The two had made their way to a strip club called The Scratching Post, full of various sex workers. In it Faith had demonstrated a fondness for masculine traits and musculature, whether it be on the butch queens or the manly tomcats. She was bisexual, but only into masculinity whatever form it took on a species. The area was covered in shadows with dark, spinning strobe lights. The place was rowdy and full of enticed howls, with paper bills being stuck between panties and bras as clothing was taken off and the employees got almost close enough to touch. Faith and Gentler sat at a table drinking non-alcoholic mixed drinks. Gentler something strong, fizzy, and bitter, Faith something more fruity and sour. Both had a little sugar sprinkled in to add a dose of sweetness. The mare spoke loud enough for only Gentler to hear above the music.
“Friendship City was simple, a little too sheltered for me. Aside from the ponies who came in from the wasteland, the place wasn't tainted per se. It had a remnant of civilization and didn't have the same harshness as the world outside of it. The interior was more bureaucratic, but not nearly as oppressive and expensive as Tenpony. It had necessities, trivialities. Nothing I needed when I was older, but everything I could've asked for to grow up healthily. It was better than growing up in the wasteland by far, where so many falter. Nowadays I just need the fulfillment in my duty to Equestria, and I get my needs met from solely that. Faith watched a burly tomcat dance across the stage, twirling around slowly and rubbing his panty clad ass up against one of the stage poles.
“I doubt you would have attached to Fear if you didn't have other needs,” Gentler analyzed.
Faith sighed audibly. “You're right. Fear gives me something else I need. Someone whose power and endurance I can rely on, something I can put my hope toward. I saw from the start how strong that colt was in his eyes. I'd seen many ponies, but none damaged quite like him. As if his psyche had been shattered and grown back like an uncontrollable cancer. When he first asked me to come with him, I'd already made my decision. He was an interesting pony, and not just because his eyes glowed. It was because he was a foal who not only approached me with kindness and awe, all on his own, but because he was friendly and did it despite being damaged and dead on his hooves. It takes someone strong of character to do merely that, to show respect to everyone they meet, especially when they've hurt, despite what's going on behind their eyes.” Faith's own eyes hooded. “I could tell from that moment he'd gone through a lot, and found something not many do. He was beginning to find his inner alicorn.”
A butch queen was lethargically, yet actively, gyrating her ass up against one of the patrons' faces for a little extra.
Faith smiled at the display from ear to ear. “I think he's much closer to that goal than I've ever been, and has only grown closer to it over time. I love my gut for telling me to join him on his journeys. He is impossibly adorable, and I can tell he'll lead me to what I'm seeking as well, and even if not, well... he'll lead me to other things I needed but never knew. What's that saying? 'Thanks, I never knew I needed this until now?' Sounds about right.” Faith turned the question around on the Abyssinian she was chatting amicably with. “Why did you join him? Similar reasons?”
“Same reasons actually,” Gentler responded with his arms crossed as he grew as aroused as Faith from all the portrayals on stage, though his favorites were the queens gallivanting about, no matter what their gender display. All he cared about was the sex, and he could always tell due to the bulge or lack thereof. “I saw the integrity in his fight with me. He was incredibly annoying at first, but in a good way. The fact that he came up to me and showed me respect, no signs of xenophobia was something I couldn't look past even though I wanted to.” Gentler tapped his claws on the table, taking a sip of his drink. “He was eager to learn about me because I was new, like kids are wont to do, rather than scared of me because I was strange. Most wasteland critters, especially the young ones, avoid the unknown. I know for a fact Fear's the kind of pony who'd approach a zebra in the wastes despite knowing it'd potentially kill him, all because he thought they looked a little lonely sitting at their table like I did.” The cat smirked, his tail flicking to the side as he sat lazily in his chair, legs spread. “I realized he'd probably do anything for anyone, and his fight proved that even though he was so far outclassed, and he's always so hesitant to kill despite that eagerness for a good fight. Aside from trying to stab me with a hoof, he barely attacked me, even when he got desperate.”
Gentler's expression turned thoughtful as he paused, scratching his chin. “I could see he needed my help, and I also saw the hints of Friendship in him.”
Faith cast a suspicious glance at her partner. “You don't think...?”
Gentler's face turned serious, eyes contracting. “I do. He's growing into the role of Magic quickly. Every experience he has gives him, what you'd call, the inner alicorn. It's not just his changeling nature that makes him develop so fast, it's also his soul. Of course I would never tell him this. He needs to find out all of that for himself. It's more meaningful when he realizes it, rather than when someone tells him. He probably wouldn't believe it anyway.” Gentler threw his hands into the air, letting out a bark of laughter. “Besides, he needs to keep a light head on his shoulders, and I don't think my thoughts about his heroics would help him with that.”
Faith grinned wryly. “We both saw a lot in him huh?”
“Yeah, we did. He hit all our right buttons. He was what we both needed, even though we didn't know how much at the time.” Gentler leaned back, and they began to gossip about the best features on each of the cats who came out to dance. Occasionally ruminating and theorizing about their virtues, and the virtues of those around them.
Faith and Gentler hung out next to the training grounds near the Abyssinian bootcamp in the city, passing by training dummies, equipment, racing track, and many other materials meant for pulling the best out of a cat's potential, like rampant obstacle courses made to look like mini castles, forests, and mountains. It was the most action most Abyssinians would see, and most of the dangerous areas were covered by chain link fences to keep projectiles from getting flung at passerby.
Gentler threw his arms into the air as he spoke. “It was brutal and egregious. I constantly worked out, always running and stretching multiple times a day until my body was ready to give out, using specialized gems to enhance my workout routine. It was far worse than what we put Fear through, but that was solely because he wasn't an earth pony, nor a feline who could handle the extra exertion, without the proper gems for weight training and the like.” He shook his head wildly, grinning victoriously. “His field was magic, it always has been. So many sit ups, crunches of various sorts, push ups – one-handed and knuckles, sometimes one finger. Pull ups. Various fighting styles. I put myself through so much just to prepare myself for the wasteland in my off time. I was always worn out to the point of going comatose by the end, could barely walk home let alone do my day job. So many reps, so many times, so many hours put into training my body to prep for that mission I knew in my gut. I followed my soul even when it all seemed bleak.”
Faith whistled. “Wow, you knew from the beginning huh?”
Gentler shook his head again, this time more subdued as they passed by another arena, then headed up some stairs to weapons' training, weapons that were more in line with the Wasteland. “Nah, it wasn't something I knew from the very beginning. It was when I saw a clipping in the newspaper about a charity trip to the wasteland that had gone south and been canceled. They were going to bring gems and farming implements in order to try and overcome the radiation and taint, but....”
“But...?” Faith prodded.
“It didn't work out.” Gentler sounded more frustrated than he had ever been in front of any of them. “I realized it was my dream in life to do what they couldn't, even if I didn't know how. And I knew, in my heart of hearts, that the answer to all those problems laid somewhere in Equestria, one way or another. Possibly in the virtues Abyssinia had studied alongside outer space.”
“What, like some kind of sixth sense?” The mare queried.
“No,” Gentler disagreed. “I think it was more than that. I think it was planned. I could've deviated if I wanted to, I know that now. There are multiple timelines out there and I highly doubt my presence in Equestria was a destined constant like Fear says some events are.” He crossed his arms over his chest, muzzle scrunched up deep in thought. “I think it was an important facet of my soul, something I was meant to do and learn from especially. I wanted to quit many times like I said, but also while I was in Equestria. Figured sometimes I'd made the wrong decision and my gut had led me astray. But meeting Fear parted all the clouds when I saw his glowing eyes. I didn't know for sure but it all felt like a sign. I just knew even though I was loathe to accept it because of how I was doing at the time.”
Faith chuckled. “For someone who's literally named Stoic, you certainly do follow your intuition a lot.” Her voice was demure and provocative, turning the tables for a moment.
“Well yeah, sometimes you just gotta follow your heart. It knows things you could never fully know. And like the colt's mother taught him, if ever there's confusing input, just flip a coin. If you don't like the result, you know what you really want to do.” Gentler concluded.
“Hmm... I suppose you're right. You worked really hard,” Faith conceded.
“Meditation too,” Gentler added.
“Hm?”
“I used meditation in order to clear my head and find guidance in the smallest of things. My family has always talked about how we have ancestral guides that speak to us when we're confused, so long as we clear our minds. I trained hard, but when I got to Equestria I figured my guide had abandoned me. Everything was foggy, but I realize now it was just a test of my mettle. Or something like that. Something I had to discover for myself in order to grow.”
Gentler ended off the tour by showing off his skill with some magical energy weapons. Both ones that were just gemmed melee weapons, and others that were projectiles. The targets he fired at were specially designed to only suffer burn marks instead of completely vaporize from the emissions. The two flirted with each other about feline emissions, with Faith ending it off by mentioning she didn't get to orgasm as much as she liked, but it was fine, a little denial was fun, fuzzy, warm, intoxicating. Climaxing usually made her dizzy and numbed her thighs.
Faith and Gentler sat together, with the cat's hands in his lap, legs crossed, and the mare on her haunches, head held up to the breeze. They were in the palace garden, the public section. Someone was playing a Hang steel drum in the distance to give an oriental air, though not for that specific reason. The whole place was decorated akin to what Mistmane would have produced in her time alive.
“Well,” Gentler spoke, “you already know how I was the youngest kitten in my litter, even if it was only by a few seconds. I always acted and was treated like it, but also had a higher sense of self than the others. I would've been an artist barely scraping by in my attempts to get us to help Equestria, most likely, if I hadn't sought to go there directly. I was picked on a lot, and grew a stubborn, stoic facade to hide it.”
“That explains that,” Faith murmured.
“Yeah. The rest of my family had aspects of stoicism for various reasons, whether it's because it was a lifestyle or because they're genuinely apathetic. While Skyler was genuinely an asshole because he did a lot of things that got us all in trouble, nowadays our parents know better. But for awhile he was the favorite because it seemed like he never did anything wrong. But we all know now the kinds of things he did to get ahead. He's not just a lucky sob, he's also merciless.”
Faith 'wow'ed.
“Yeah. And also yeah, I've always been highly emotional and intuitive deep down, but I put on a mask to hide it. It's how I operate. What about you? You grew up an orphan in a world of orphans. What was that like?” Gentler took on a solid, quiet countenance as they sat together in the fresh, warm air.
“I've talked a little about it, but I never went in depth. Everyone around me had their own personalities that developed over time from learning of the equines around us. Some of us adopted traits of our favorite ponies, like greed or altruism, anything and everything, while others developed our own qualities from the books we read. Teachings we absorbed. Or the hobbies we discovered. A lot of us took awhile to find our cutiemark, and others molded into theirs easily and quickly. I was one of them.” Faith smiled silently. “I loved scouring the city for things to fix, what little I could. But it was a smaller aspect of a greater wish lingering in my heart. While most accept the wasteland for what it is, I wanted to make it better, but I never knew how. I latched onto preaching as the only way I could think of to bring about harmony. I know now there were other options, like going into business and having a generous, sacrificial heart. But oh well. Obviously it never quite worked out and I was a failure in my endeavors.”
Gentler's face didn't move an inch. “You're not a failure, Faith.”
“Thanks, but I don't believe it.” Faith's voice felt like a spear. “I couldn't ever impact others on the level I wanted to, even though I used to constantly assure Fear it's okay to settle for small things, and that small things build up into a lot. His father and I both.”
“So you feel like your tiny things never built up into much?” Gentler asked.
“Yeah. I rarely ever get to see the fruits of my labors, and usually it's not a huge impact. It's just sad, I'm sure most ponies I preach to end up dying due to my words.” Faith's face screwed up in self doubt.
Gentler smiled. “As long as they die peacefully. Maybe they would have died whether or not you helped them see things from a different perspective? You can't genuinely know that. You grew up trying to fix it all, and you grew up to be what you wanted. All any one of us can ask of you is that you do your best when it counts. You're obviously doing your best by Fear and Acrid.”
“Hmm,” Faith murmured. “Yes. I see them as the foals I never got to have, and probably never will have since I seem to always be attracted to a species not my own.” That brought a grin out of the preacher. She shrugged. “It's not that big a deal. I'm happy being their mother figure. There's a lot they need to figure out on their own though, just like I did. They're in this world together, it was good timing that they came into each other's lives. I personally don't think we should interfere in their journeys very much, just try to be allies. Acrid could end up being Magic too after all.”
“What? You think we should just let them go it alone? Fight their battles themselves?” Gentler sounded confused and concerned for a moment.
“Not really what I mean. I think we're just supposed to be advisors, and helpers. I think our time will come soon enough when we can be together with whoever we want to love for the rest of our lives, or whatever it is that'll make us happy in the end. After all, our lives may assist the two of them, but our lives do not revolve around them. We have our own stories to tell. Our own experiences to endure. And our own happiness to find.”
Gentler spoke in agreement. “That's kind of how I look at it too,” he admitted. “I feel like I'm in the right place at the right time, or at least this me is. I feel content, and like eventually I'm going to get the chance to do what I want to do, what I need to do. We grew up from young rascals always running around from place to place, all the way to this. I endured teasing and hardships, and healing from it provided the callouses I needed to survive the wasteland. While you found your higher calling and did what you could, even when I couldn’t find my purpose for the longest time, we both tried to make ourselves useful however we could. I did it by scavenging and taking out evil ponies, and you by preaching your heart out about what you felt would make the world a better place.
A pause.
“And it has, Faith. We've both made the world a little better with our actions, I'm sure. And we're not done yet.”
The discussion twisted around from their two charges to Faith's desire for an actual family, Gentler's desire for freedom, and what those two ideals meant to them. Both had experienced the other's wishes, in one way or another, and they both concluded they were fine where they were. It was nice to strive for the others' state, but they were content with where they were at in the end. They'd let the future come to them, wouldn't take any action to force the world's hand in this situation.
Gentler and Faith sat on a hill overlooking the oncoming sunset. They had a bottle of old vintage wine sitting between them, uncorked. It had once been contained in a casket for years, so it had the subtle flavors of the wood it was contained in, as well as a bit of caramel. Faith was playfully demure and coy while they spoke of what they looked for in a partner.
“Someone strong, handsome, capable. Sees me as an equal and not a prize to be won. Lets me have my space, isn't insecure. Knows themselves well and lets everyone know it. Maybe a little arrogant at times so I can put them in their place. Friendly, romantic banter. Appreciates me for who I am, and respects me for my goals in life. Understands that nice things aren't everything you need. A heroic soul taking on the world if it calls for it. Willing to stand by each other even when the world stands against us. Doesn't rely on me all the time for all their needs, but comes to me when they have no one else. Loose, flexible, leadership qualities. Either emotional or stoic, doesn't matter, as long as they're smoldering in all the right ways. Just ready to leap into action. Charismatic, able to rally others to their cause or, otherwise, pull strings to get others to listen and follow. A bleeding heart only if they don't expect me to pick up the pieces every single time – I don't want to be the mother to my significant other. Someone who follows my orders in the bedroom, but isn't adverse to taking command if I'm feeling a little submissive. Someone who stands on equal hooving with me everywhere else, someone who likes to discuss and weigh options, who listens to logic and reason.” Faith took a sip from her glass of wine and looked to Gentler, swirling it around. “You?”
“Similar,” he said with a shrug in his voice. “Powerful, capable. Knows herself and what she wants, seeks it out with all her heart. Passive or aggressive doesn't matter so long as she knows how to seize opportunity when it presents itself. Looking to heal the wastes in any way she can, to better any difficult situation she comes across. Able to do anything she sets her mind to, doesn't need to rely on cheap tricks to get the job done. Maybe a little honorable, within reason. Someone who could've been a knight or a soldier. Is willing to go without for long periods of time without complaining if it means the future will be better. Someone who can stick by my side through thick and thin, someone I can trust my life in the hands of, and doesn't mind me getting all my needs met elsewhere. Who accepts I'm a tomcat through and through that can't fully be tamed. Controlling, but only in the bedroom. Nowhere else. Someone who prefers simplicity over extravagance. A woman who knows how to keep a level head on her shoulders in the worst of times. I guess... someone like you Faith.” He huh'ed insincerely.
Faith ignored the feelings it stirred as she downed her glass. “I'll consider your proposition, loverboy. No guarantees. This might not have been a date but I guess it turned into one in the end.”
Getting the hint, Gentler changed the subject. “You ever... feel envious of Fear? I don't dare tell him I feel that way sometimes.”
“Yes,” she responded. “But I'm at peace with it.”
Gentler lidded his eyes, tilting his chin up and drinking some wine before pouring themselves a second glass. “I'm secretly envious of him. I don't feel like we're all equal to each other. That bothers me sometimes. But I know he must've felt that way toward me for awhile.”
“You're right, we're not,” Faith murmured, taking another sip. “Fear has surpassed us in development and strength in a sense. He's taken all we taught him and made it his own. In reality, there's probably nothing left for us to help him with. He's not only on the way to incarnating his own inner alicorn, whatever the end result consists of, I'm not sure. But he's also so strong we barely even matter.”
Gentler hummed. “Then again our specific skill sets were good for helping take down the Overvalkying.”
“That's true,” Faith admitted. “He also needs us a lot as emotional support. He appreciates our presence more than I'm sure he could ever explain. We're not useless so I don't worry about it much. We'll be there to pick up his slack.”
“Still,” Gentler sighed, shifting on his hands and rocking from side to side, leaning back. “It'd be nice to be on his level. Maybe I should ask him to teach me shadow walking sometime? Maybe it'd make me feel better about myself.”
“Well...” Faith chirped. “I think even if you can't learn it you should ask. Part of developing as a creature is teaching others what you've learned, and if he can't be a teacher as well as a guide, then he can't fully blossom into his own. He needs to have all kinds of experiences, if you're right about his blooming virtue.”
Gentler smiled gently, eyes at half mast. “I suppose you're right. I knew that little fluffnugget was going to be something important. I have no idea how, but there are stories about how important Friendship and Magic was back in pre-war Equestria. How it could defeat the hardest of villains. I don't know what his end result is going to be, like you said, but it's gotta be something pretty mystical and important, right?”
“Well, they say Twilight grew into the element of magic, and remained a unicorn, and she was the leader of one of the most prestigious ministries, so if he's given the supplies he needs I'm sure it will be,” Faith responded.
“Hah,” Gentler barked, “you don't think Fear's going to become corrupt and rule us all like the ministries ruled you guys, yeah?”
Faith bat a hoof, sipping her drink. “I highly doubt it. Fear might've seen a future like that, but the current him doesn't have that in him. Besides, his sister was in the future he saw... unless she came back to life in his vision in order to do away with him... it's not gonna happen. Let's not let our envy turn into irrational discontent, okay?”
Gentler nodded. “For sure. Fear tries his best to help us. It'd be wrong for us to go after him on some vague discomfort that he'd turn evil. We don't need to prep for the worst case scenario with him.”
The two toasted each other to the ideal, and mused together about Acrid's past and future, and what it meant for his developing personality and virtue. The future, their future, was uncertain, but they decided they were both looking forward to it, clinking glasses one more time as they finished off the bottle, barely tipsy, and headed back home, Gentler mentioning favorite bands, and Faith talking about novels she'd read.
Gentler was a little surprised to see Fear and Acrid both back before they arrived. The former was drunk and taking a throbbingly cold shower, while Acrid listened intently to Salmon Stoic rambling on about his job as a fisherman, and Faith chose to help Clairity Stoic in the kitchen with their nightly meal. The youngest Abyssinian of the three in the house chose to go see Fear in the bathroom.
“Hey, Fear, you there?”
Fear's voice was silent for a few moments, just the sound of raging water coming from behind the seafood-themed shower curtain. It sounded like icy needles splattering against ceramic. “Ye'h?” Fear's voice was dull and sounded like he had a hangover already. An agonized voice that regretted life and past decisions. Almost nasally. It wasn't often the young stallion sounded so vulnerable and hurt.
“I had a question for you, if you don't mind.”
“Wouldn't your parents... uhh... chastise you for coming in on others like this?” There was a dry, sarcastic, cutting edge to his voice as his silhouette sat on his haunches in the tub. “I thought the bathroom was a sacred... ow... place?”
Gentler snrrked, keeping his voice to a low whisper. Loud enough for Fear to hear, but not enough to send pangs rocking through his head. “It's not often I hear this side of you Fear. It's a welcome reprieve.”
Fear stood up on his haunches and stretched his forelegs over his head until they were quivering from strain, letting out a sigh. “Ahhhhhg hnnnh... hmf.” Fear smacked his lips, eyes lidded. His silhouette morphed again as he looked through the curtain to his guest. “I feel better than I have in awhile, and also worse than I have in awhile. What do you want Gentler?”
“Huh. This is also the most relaxed I've heard you in a long time.” He shrugged, uncrossing his legs and ceasing leaning on the door frame, stepping into the bathroom proper, closing the door behind him with a heel, and flopping down on the toilet, leaning on his elbows on his knees. “Acrid reveal his feelings to you?”
Fear's voice cut through the sound of water. “He doesn't need to.” An ungodly sniff and snort. Not only did the young stallion sound vulnerable, he sounded gross. He'd apparently had a long, tiring day. “I know how he feels.”
“Formalities are important you know,” Gentler whispered.
“I suppose. I guess I'm ready for him to confess, but it's... hngh. Still terrifying. I'm surprised he didn't confess to me while I was more drunk.” Fear held his head with a forehoof, trying to stymie the throbbing ache in his skull, like his brain was overflowing out his ears like a cancerous growth.
“Your changeling-ness really does speed up your metabolism huh?”
“Eh.” Fear shrugged audibly. “It's not as bad as it could've been. The cats at the wine tasting gave us some food to help absorb the alcohol.” Fear looked up at the ceiling, closing his eyes. The light hurt the front of his skull. There was no way he could fight in this state.
“Well that's good,” Gentler confirmed, fiddling with his paws. “It's good you're taking care of yourself Fear.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Fear sarcastically spat.
Gentler chuckled. “Closer than you think.”
Fear grinned behind the curtain. “I know. You're like a second father to me. But also one of my best friends. So thanks... for that.”
Gentler held his hands against his mouth. “No problem Fear.”
“So what are you in here for,” the young stallion asked. “Nice clothes by the way. You're really styling today.”
Gentler looked down at himself, at his leather armor, pants, and cloak. The colors mingled well. Brought out his eyes in an odd way. As if they were charged with the kind of electricity or fire you could only get from a lemon. “Huh. You rascal. Are you morphing your eyes to see through the curtain?”
Fear snuffled again as if he was sucking brain up into his snout. “Something like that. I'm talented, remember? No point in... ugh, letting myself be completely defenseless. You know?”
Another bark of laughter from Gentler, sitting up and slapping his knee. “You get more impressive every day I'm around you. Ugh. That's exactly why I came to talk to you.”
Fear's ears visibly perked up behind the curtain, having been flat against his skull until now. “Is that so...?” He queried, softly intrigued.
“Yeah.” Gentler shook his head, rocking on his knees. “Yeah I wanted to ask you. Can you teach me shadow walking?”
“Oh? Does Dad feel like his foal is surpassing him?”
“Seriously, Fear.” Gentler's voice had a sharp edge to it. Curt. Unamused. “I know you can feel my... emotions. Should've realized it sooner to be honest. I guess that one's on me. Thought I was keeping it secret.”
Fear sighed, looking down at the tub. “It's alright Gentler. I don't broadcast everything I notice. It's none of my business how you feel about me. If you wanted to confront me about it you would've. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, even if I think you're wrong.”
There was a pause.
“You can't feel my emotions,” Fear continued, “but I respect you a lot. You're an incredible feline. I don't personally think you need me to teach you anything, because everything you have, everything you are, feels like so much more than I could ever be.”
Gentler was frustrated at Fear's modesty, grimacing tightly and staring at the ground, clenching his fingers against his palms. He wanted to lash out, but he kept his voice even, stoic. “That may be true, Fear. But I want to better myself like you have. I've stayed... 'stagnant' long enough. It's time I had a one-up over new opponents.”
Fear squeezed his eyes shut, huffing, not in frustration but in acceptance. “You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you for keeping your cool. No matter what my reasoning was, it's wrong of me to decline your request. I'm glad you didn't yell at me Gentler.”
Gentler shrugged, his face neutral, eyes hooded. “Likewise.”
“I'll teach you,” Fear continued. “If I can. I can't guarantee results but I think even an Abyssinian could learn it if I do some... tweaking to how it's done. Luna calls me clever but she doesn't know the full extent.”
Gentler's tone became scandalous. “Oh?”
“Yeah.” Fear ugly sniffed again. “When I'm not anxious I can come up with all manner of things. When I'm anxious I become completely stupid.” Fear shrugged. “I've been thinking about how others could use magics similar to me. I don't think it's fair for me to keep it all to myself. You know how it is. This knowledge should be spread among everyone I love. Everyone I meet. So they can defend themselves.”
“Hah,” Gentler barked. “Not too bad. But you're misguided. You can't give that to just anyone. Not everyone's as trustworthy as you Fear.” His voice was hesitant, afraid. “You shouldn't just go around giving everything to everyone. That's how...”
Fear interrupted, looking up. “Yeah I know. How Fluttershy ended up causing trouble for everyone, spreading the magitech of megaspells.” Fear paused. “Sorry for interrupting. It's just frustrating knowing I have all of this and I can't just give it away.”
“Even if you did, Fear, it would up the battle ante. It'd be dangerous. It'd make some safer, but it'd make others more dangerous. I know you know that.” Gentler's paws clasped together.
Fear nodded once. “Indeed. It's frustrating but I do know. And I will teach you Gentler. I think I know how. All I have to do is tap you into a certain wavelength. Then you might be able to recreate it. I have no clue. But I'm willing to try.”
Gentler stood up. “It's okay if you can't. The willingness to try is enough. Thank you.” Gentler's gaze lifted and he glared at the wall. “Enjoy the rest of your shower. Enjoy some hot water while you're at it. You're not in there just to sober up. Relax a little.”
And with that Gentler left the bathroom to get some improvised pajamas for Fear so he could live in style for a night.
Dinner was delicious, Fear decided both ahead of time and in hindsight. Not only did it smell potent and palpable, with so many different aromas, but it was also amazing taste and texture-wise. The main course was chili mac: squishy kidney beans, juicy tomato sauce, a hot beefy broth, steaming elbow noodles, shredded sharp-tasting cheddar cheese all mixed together into a glorious amalgamation. A side of toasted, buttered garlic bread that was also steaming underneath the small towel placed on the basket they were in. There was a plate of seasoned pork tenderloin cut into thin delicious segments that were brown around the edges, basted to perfection – absolutely soaked – in a salty vinegar sauce with a fruity wine aftertaste, with a little parsley to balance out the flavor. Next to it was a plate of squishy broccoli slathered in virgin oil roasted to a crisp. There was so much there was enough for leftovers, so the guests could continue enjoying a warmed up meal. For dessert there'd been creamy ice cream inundated in molten chocolate syrup, buried in both warm, ripe banana slices and chewy nuts.
Fear, Faith, and Acrid had never eaten so well, even with some of the best MREs out there. Fear had come across a skywagon full of crates containing a haul of them once, and they didn't come close to this no matter how much better those were than canned food. Chili MREs didn't compare. Burger, taco, burritos, jam and biscuit, pizza MREs, none of them came close to comparing to a fresh home-cooked meal by a skilled chef. The instant drinks contained in those meals were nothing like the real, tangy fruit drinks they'd been provided, with their subtle yet distinct flavors. Fear could never stop thanking Clairity. Honestly, even the instant meal's floral chocolates couldn't compare to the fresh candies in this country. This place really was, in a way, almost paradise.
After it was all said and done, Fear decided he wanted to get some fresh air, maybe sleep out in nature. He felt like he couldn't be cooped up for long, so he took his sleeping bag and temporary plaid button-up jammies with him, the loose fabric keeping him warm, and headed out to a location Gentler had recommended to him. Partly it was because he wanted some time alone to think about Acrid, without being near him, and also because he wanted to just be... alone. Away from everyone. Think about his life, his future, where he was going. About the zebras he was either going to negotiate with or fight. About how he was going to train Gentler, and maybe one day others depending on how Gentler took to the teaching. He also thought about his past, a bit of it still bothering him even after all this time. Trauma took a long time to get over, no matter what that trauma was.
He wouldn't get the loneliness he'd wanted though.
Fear hung out in the park at night, having gotten through without getting wet by shielding himself with a field of telekinesis. Didn't take much strength to push away droplets of water spraying from activated sprinklers. He'd chosen a spot on the hill, looking out at the trees covering the grassy ground, an area already dowsed. He wielded Shaybna to dry off the water on the ground by radiating heat from the blade, turning the drops into steam. One night wouldn't be too big a deal, and it had already soaked into the dirt. Fear put his sleeping bag on the ground, and sat next to it, sliding his sword into the fabric like a second sheathe. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting but... he definitely did not expect the stars in the sky, and the moon hanging over it all in the dark, to cast light that reflected off the liquid spraying everywhere and create a looming Lunar Rainbow that twisted and smeared across the landscape like a blanket. It was idyllic, and he knew then he'd chosen the right spot.
Fear pulled his mother's rifle up next to him, casually disassembling it with telekinesis, all the while thinking about how his life was made up of the same synchronous parts that made up his rifle. His past, his present, his future, all conglomerated into one big meaningful whole, shooting out a bullet that would cast out into existence and probably plant a seed. A seed of creation. That was his life. Fear let out a sigh as he gazed over the pieces. No cracks in the bridge or receiver. Still finely polished from last time. Discolored, like him, but perfect. A successful tilt test later, he put the rest back together, components sliding into place and clicking together symphonically. He yanked back the bolt, releasing an illusory casing, and held it up to his eyes, staring down the sight. This is what he'd been missing in life. These times alone like when he was young and had the whole world to analyze. Fear set the rifle down, thinking on his past. It was necessary... wasn't it? To make him a finely honed weapon of creation and destruction. Of reparation. Fear breathed in deeply through his snout, letting it flow through his larynx.
And let it settle in his lungs.
He held it tight, not letting it escape, bulging out his cheeks subtly.
Did he accept the past? Everything that had happened? Would he do it all over again if it meant he could be here, now?
Yes.
He hated some of his actions.
But the more he thought about it, he wouldn't have changed it. He needed it. He just hoped Dim Nova forgave him, or would end up forgiving him. He knew life wasn’t perfect for her, not like it would have been if he'd never interfered with her life. There was no excuse for it. But he accepted it.
Fear let out the breath through his maw, coming out in a whistle.
“Is someone there?” A feminine voice called out to the young stallion. Fear glanced behind him to see who it was. So much for his time alone, he snorted.
“Yeah. Fearei Shatter. Who're you?”
An equine popped up over the ridge of the hill wearing plain saddlebags. Indigo mane and tail, wavy in nature. Dark gray fur similar to Fear's own. Their colors were similar. Blue eyes like him, but darker. The main difference was this one was 6 inches taller than him, abouts. About a head taller. Fear looked away, back toward the spectral ribbons ahead of him. “Uhh... that's a good question.” Fear's face darted to look at the confused pony again.
“What do you mean? Surely you know who you are??” Fear was equally confused.
“I mean...” The unknown equine wandered over to Fear, shaking off his coat of fur, getting water off of him, making Fear splutter and cower away. He slid his saddlebags off and to the side onto the ground away from Fear. “It's always changing. What I like to be called I mean. My name is Vivid Daylight but I go by Davie or Vivian sometimes.” He shrugged, laying down next to Fear without requesting permission. Fear huffed.
“You're invading my personal space a little, Davie.” Fear grunted and pulled away, taking a couple steps back and yanking his sleeping bag a bit of a distance away.
“Oh, sorry about that.” Davie... Vivian... whoever was clearly sincere. And that's when Fear realized why this was so strange. Not only did the pony have a camera strung around his neck, one he wasn't familiar with – a digital one – he also realized he was looking at an earthpony.
“You're not used to other equines around here, are you?” Fear put two and two together immediately. Not from the wasteland. Not familiar with a lot of equines. Sheltered. Probably sees me as a potential role model or friend. Doesn't have any reason to distrust me. It made a lot of sense.
“Uh... yeah. How'd you know?”
Fear shook his head. “It's obvious, isn't it? Not everyone just comes up to... well. Ugh. I suppose it's a little different here. It's nice to meet you Vivian. Davie... whatever.” Fear shrugged and laid down a few feet from the other, taller, equine, as he brought up his camera and started taking varied angle photos.
Silence reigned. Fear realized he should try to make conversation before this pony left. He was here to make a good first impression after all. Only... Vivid spoke first.
“I've heard about you and your friends you know. You're all over the grapevine. I was hoping I could meet you all before you left for wherever. It's not often other equines are around.”
Fear ignored him. And decided to try to strike up more comfortable conversation, to ease into the harder things. “You do a lot of photography? My Mom was always interested in that hobby.”
Davie chirped. “Yeah! It's one of my many hobbies! I actually come from a long line of guards that stayed behind in Abyssinia decades ago – lucky for us am I right? But I've never had a solid place in this city. I never got my cutiemark like everyone else does.”
“No cutie mark...?” Fear queried, before noticing that... indeed, Vivid Daylight did not have a cutiemark. The name made sense, in a way. He was certainly vivid and his flank was clear as day. Fear hummed.
“They say it was a genetic abnormality involving my destiny.” Davie continued.
“I know how that feels,” Fear responded. He really wants someone like him to talk with huh? “You wanna talk about it?”
“Only if you explain what you mean by knowing how it feels,” Vivian looked to Fear with curious eyes.
Fear was getting an intense sense of deja vu. The sheer convenience of being so similar to this pony was nauseating. “Oh... well. I was born without a destiny of my own. Any destiny. At all. No identity to call my own. It's a really long story but my father gave me a big chunk of his, so I could develop it into my own with my soul.” He shook his head. “I'd rather not get into it to be honest. It's ancient history.”
Davie nodded, grinning, looking up at the stars. “Mine is... a little different than that. It's like I have all the destiny in the world, but I just can't pick one. Like a jack of all trades.”
“Jack of all trades, master of none, is better than a master of one,” Fear murmured.
“That's how that saying goes?” The stallion asked, cocking his head to the side.
“Yeah. I have... sources. Ancient ones.” Fear twirled a hoof. “How old are you Davie?”
“Young twenties. Just getting started in life. I've never known what to really do with it, so I just lay all my options out on a chart and do a few different things a day, see which dart sticks to the wall. You know?” Vivian was tentative.
Fear nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I get that.” Huh he's way older than me. Maybe not WAY, but still. Fear tried to think back on any stories his family had told him about creatures like that. Wait, Vivian? Does he like being considered a 'she?' That's odd. Yet... relatable. Ugh. I always wanted to be a big strong stallion, and now I don't even know THAT much anymore. Fear rubbed his forehead with a hoof.
“Fear?” Vivian asked.
“What's up?”
“What's on your mind?” Davie looked to try and see under Fear's hoof. “You seem older than me, but I'm not... sure why.”
Fear shrugged lightly, cocking his head. “I can't say why. Maybe it's 'cause I'm from the Wasteland. Maybe it's because I develop faster naturally. Who can say for sure? I was just thinking about something that might help you, a story.”
“Well you don't need to tell me a story right now if you don't want to. Just let it come naturally.”
“I suppose...” Fear murmured. “Oh. I suppose there is one. But I don't know it very well. It's just about a griffon who was infatuated with ponies and their prosperity, and wanted a cutiemark of her own, but couldn't get it. So with the help of friends ultimately decided her talent would be whatever she wanted at the time. Which was mainly helping her friends, and her friends would be everyone.”
“That sounds like a nice story,” Davie agreed, “but it's clear you don't want to tell it right now. Maybe another time – before you leave Abyssinia?”
“Sure, kid. I can do that I suppose.” Fear wasn't sure why he said it, but it'd just come out like that. He looked with wide, terrified eyes at Davie only to find he was smiling and blushing.
“You certainly do talk older too. But yeah, it's not just my destiny that's always fluctuating. It's also my gender, my sexuality, everything. Nothing ever stays the same.”
Fear shook his head clear. “Nah reason. Just wanted to rule out the possibility.” Guess not all changeling traits remain just a changeling's. Odd.
“So what brings you here? I'm clearly here for night photography,” Davie explained. “And I was lucky enough to catch you. But what's your reason?”
Fear laughed a little. Right place right time after all. Maybe? Fear explained his recent thoughts to Davie, about his guilt, his wonderment as to whether or not he should fully embrace the past. It's evil, but it might give him more inner peace if he did.
“Well personally,” Davie spoke, “I think imperfection is better than perfection. Our errors make us who we are. All because we struggled to achieve greatness instead of being born with it. The past may be flawed, but you grew, and the present and future are here because you earned it. Things are always changing, nothing stays the same. In the end Abyssinia too will change for better or worse. Either because we're stuffy and uptight and it leads to our downfall, or because it leads to an uprising from someone like you.”
Fear's head jerked to look at Davie, eyes bugging out in surprise. “Huh? Huh. I suppose.” It solidified some of his own thoughts. “I'm not going to let you guys have a... downfall. You don't deserve that, even if some of you are kind of... sheltered. You have so many great things here, it's not worth taking it away. I'm no raider. I'm a protector.”
Davie grinned and shifted on his belly. “You're a guide.”
Fear was dumbstruck, a little hazy. “What makes you say that?”
“I don't know. You were clearly upset by my sudden presence during your quiet time, yet you still gave me company. You let me sit around and speak with you. You let me unload, and... well. You're going to tell me a story later. You just said you were going to defend us no matter what. You sound like one of the ancestral guides from Abyssinian culture. In the right place, at the right time.”
Fear shifted, uncomfortable as he listened to Vivian speak. “I guess.” He laughed awkwardly. “Why's everyone think I'm so great?”
“Well, you seem older than me for one. And I can't quite put my hoof on all that it is.” Davie shrugged nonchalantly. “You also just.. radiate power and experience. You're young but there's something about you that draws me in.”
Fear rubbed his muzzle with a hoof, grimacing tightly. “I guess. I suppose I should learn to turn that off, or whatever.”
“I wouldn't suggest it, even if you could. I think all the best teachers in Abyssinia have the same aura you do. An aura that, while laid back and easy going, exudes and demands respect from those younger than you.”
“Pfft.” Fear rolled his eyes. “Flitter obviously wasn't moved by it, if what you say is true.”
“Not everyone is moved by auras like yours in the same way.” Davie's gaze returned to the starry sky. “Some just become a little more quiet, a little more analytical. It's something most develop from learning and studying as much as they can.”
Fear adjusted himself again. Was it similar to the Nightmare Pressure, he wondered. “You sure I shouldn't be turning whatever... this is. Off?”
“Nah. I think you should let yourself influence others actively. If you got it, you earned it. Others should follow it.”
Fear did consider himself a leader. He blew air out between his lips in a sigh. “Well, alright I guess. Gotta accept myself marks and all. I guess this is just another aspect of myself that's changed over time.”
“Everyone has that sense about them,” Davie elaborated, “when they've done important things. It sits in their subconscious and radiates from them. I hope to be that way some day by doing all I can.”
“Just don't stretch yourself too thin,” Fear warned. “I learned that the hard way.”
“See?” Davie chirped. “You are a guide. Maybe not as good as some, but you're getting there. I'll take your advice to heart, thank you.”
Fear just hummed. I suppose it doesn't matter what path in life we choose so long as we relax and make the most of it at the same time. I am who I am because of my sins, but I am not my sins. I faced opposition and my soul faltered, but it will not falter again. I'm... probably not an impostor, just a kid who fucked up. It was a bad fuck up and... I don't regret it anymore because I wouldn't trade this life for the world. Dim... forgive me. I'm still not sure yet if I'm an impostor or not, but I'm sure this is a step in the right direction.
Davie reached into his saddlebags and pulled out a pair of smoking pipes. “You wanna smoke some Merry Wing with me?”
Fear considered it, staring at the stallion with a raised eyebrow. “Sure. Grandpa told me to experiment.” Fear took one pipe in his telekinetic aura, and Davie taught him how to pack the weed down into the pipe to prepare it for smoking. Make sure to get all of it in you! Don't let a single bit of smoke escape! Fear's eyes grew misty and bloodshot immediately, but it was pretty nice being high. He'd be hungry for leftovers later but that was fine. Fear told Vivian the story about how he got his scar. The stallion was impressed.
I, like my rifle, am broken but fixed by myself and those around me. The pieces put back together. I'm going to have a pleasant night sleeping in the wilderness tonight. It's not often you get to rest in a park.
The two spent the next hour or so discussing Abyssinian science. After a small crash course in the fundamental concepts of quantum mechanics (in layman’s terms), they conversed about how magic and thought coalesced in order to bring about the creation of various phenomena based on examination and experience. In their reality, thought and mindset powered not only magic, but influenced the world around them in subtler ways.
Fear realized the main character's element in the story Drax had given to him had a basis in reality. A high discussion for high ponies. Eventually Vivid Daylight left him in peace to get some sleep.
Before going to sleep though, Fear spent some time with Shaybna speaking with her about his new, albeit only slight, clarity of mind, the feeling of returned strength, more energy, and his new feelings blossoming for Acrid. Shaybna had strong feelings about Acrid too, felt him honorable, and worthy of wielding one of the swords too if he ever found one. He was a stallion who was cowardly, but tried hard to fight against it. Not quite on the same level as Fear, but nonetheless. He just needed a little push.
Upon falling asleep, Fear spent time with Dim, catching up with her life. She'd moved to Friendship City on Fear's recommendation, and was currently living with Angel, Crate, and Bidden. While it wasn't easy to live alone in such a prestigious faux city, it was certainly much easier when together, earning money and pooling it. She was doing better, and finding herself as a good nanny for Bidden. She appreciated Fear's guidance, having decided it'd been for the best. Being in a protected city was much better than being out in the wastes proper. Even if she had to live in the slums. It wasn't like the guards around there were corrupt. They didn't stand for violence. If someone got hit they were immediately hauled off. It might've been a melting pot of various walks of life, but it was a no-nonsense place that trouble never stirred in. Dim was eclipsing her old hurts with new loves. Fear used his knowledge from his scrys with Freiya to get Dim involved with the right ponies around the settlement, including Aloe and Lotus, the OOPAs from a time before the war. Not that Fear had deigned fit to tell anyone the information he'd learned from it all, and definitely not from Minuette.
A little while before Fear left Dim, he introduced her to Omega Storm. Explaining she was a fragment of him, and an interpretation of his mother's personality (and a touch of the real thing), finally solidified into a single entity. Part of his mind that could only be acknowledged by others in dreams if he used a little magic. Dim was impressed, and wondered if Luna could teach her something like that for whenever she got lonely in her sleep. Fear encouraged her to try, informing her it wasn't real.
“They can't share information with us we don't already know at the very least in our subconscious. But it's still nice because it's real to us when we're hurting.”
Dim cooed, her squirrely cheeks a little fatty. “I'll certainly discuss it with Princess Luna. Thank you Fear for the recommendation. I won't let it take their place, but it'll be a salve.”
“Okay,” Fear chirped with a broad smile.
Fear spoke with Sim next, who was excited to see him. He elaborated on how he'd been finally relaxing lately, genuinely.
“I think you deserve it Fear.”
The young stallion was kind of thrown for a loop, and it showed on his face, looking as if he'd been slapped unexpectedly.
“You're my son, and I've watched you grow, grow, and grow. You've never asked anything major of anyone around you. Nothing you didn't immediately pay back. It's time for you to focus on yourself for a bit. Let me take you to Tenpony and Friendship someday. You already know some stuff about it, but I want to make a day of it, just between you and I. Reminisce on old times and act like the father and son we are. Like friends.”
Fear was uncertain, Sim's speech having done a number on him. “Eh. I'll think about it. Sorely tempted. It'd be nice. Especially if that Mega Mare hoodie is still in one of those clothing shops.”
“You scry too much,” Sim laughed out.
“Eh, maybe if I did I'd have known how to convince the king and queen to help the wasteland. I want to be friends with them anyway despite us being in disagreement, and them not being super respectful of my home. Maybe the future will be better if I do.”
Sim shrugged a shoulder. “It's not in us to change everyone, it's in us to change ourselves. Do it for their present, not for our future. You've done well, and your intentions are noble either way. But you should just be there for them like you would anyone else. Royalty doesn't matter in the end when we're all in danger and dying.” Sim set a hoof on Fear's shoulder.
Fear gave a firm nod. “I'll try Dad, thank you. It means a lot.”
Gentler had stayed behind in Panthera while Fear, Acrid, and Faith headed to the temporary zebra command post about six miles from the city limits. All he had with him was his sword, Faith's Alicannon, and Acrid's magic. They couldn't have the zebras knowing the Abyssinians were behind Fear's actions after all. The young stallion held himself tall, with his two comrades following behind him in a tightly knit triangle, with Acrid on his right and Faith on his left. It wasn't long before they came on the encampment, as they could see the burning fire in the distance, the blackened smoke trailing high into the air.
The encampment was, in some ways, more modern than it should be. The fire pit for instance wasn't traditional. It was a pit filled to the brim with glowing orange stones that were transparent on the surface like gleaming glass but translucent and frizzy deeper into the core. They throbbed similarly to balefire bombs, but they were clearly made using a type of soul power. Not only that, but the heat they exuded was less heat, and more a sustained temperature that was consistent for yards around it, feeling like a Savannah. The orbs emitted living sparks that took the shapes of various animals and beasts when directed by one of the few zebras sitting around it, and the whole thing gave off charcoal black smoke. Fear made the logical deduction quickly that the smog was not due to exhaust, but acting as a locator signal for their tribe's presence. It was a polyfold zebra spell brought about by ritual.
The area around the fire pit, if it could be called that, was stylish and intense. Cabin tents of varying sizes were scattered in the perimeter, but the nylon and polyester fabrics had camo colors stained into them so they were difficult to see without a careful gaze. Set up around the perimeter was a wall made up of what appeared to be concrete and barbed wire, but Fear knew it wasn't nearly that simple. They would not set up such a permanent looking base, with lingering materials, for temporary use. The sole reason Fear knew it was temporary was because of how distant the encampment was, more or less impeccably matching the blast radius of a balefire bomb. The doors were wide open and welcoming, not expecting enemies, which was awkward and concerning because it meant they might not have any ill will.
Still, Fear knew what he'd seen in the Seer's Eye.
The three approached the opening and trudged on through, drawing closer to the center. Zebras, most with mohawks, were everywhere. Fear counted at least thirty souls in his vicinity, and they all had widely varying intentions. Some were preparing food for that night, some were intending to go out hunting, and many other actions from maintaining their water source, all the way to telling stories by the ritual fire as Fear called it in his mind.
Ripples of their presence rocked through the command post when finally noticed contained both surprise and horror. They were not attacked, but the foreign language surrounding them reached a crescendo. Fear didn't understand any of it, but he understood emotions and that was all he needed. His two companions, both a little xenophobic toward zebras for good reason, cringed and inched closer to Fear, sticking with him while he kept as calm as a cucumber, his eyes heavy set and suspicious.
About the time they reached the magical stones, which Fear could now hear crackling like real fire – probably a method to maintain comfort – the three zebras who'd been surrounding it had jolted off in a hurry. Meeting them was a gorgeous zebra mare coming out of her small tent. She was covered in golden jewelry, from limb rings to piercings, gems imprisoned in some of them. Her stripes were in the pattern of jagged, uneven lightning bolts, with dark marks around her eyes and her mane and tail were dreadlocks braided into a ponytail using crystalline baubles that Fear immediately guessed magnified her power. Seeing as they were different in appearance from the rest of what she had on. He wasn't sure if he was correct or not, but he wanted to overestimate rather than underestimate. Behind the mare was a second one, though her mane hung over her eyes giving her an air of invisibility and insignificance.
The two groups aligned with each other, with Fear puffing out his chest, and the mare ahead growling slightly.
“Nini Fearei Shatter kufanya hapa?”
Fear was certain he'd just heard his name spoken by this mare. But at the same time, he measured expectancy in neither tone nor emotional wavelength. So they knew who he was but didn't understand why he was here most likely? Seer? No. She'd have seen me coming otherwise I wouldn't be on her radar and she'd know nothing about me. I'm not that important. Fear's eyes widened imperceptibly as he fell back on his haunches and spread his forelegs out magnanimously, glancing from side to side. Acrid and Faith were sitting so close to them they were nearly touching Fear, who could feel every zebra in the encampment boxing them in with a zigzag pattern to close off openings. Hmm... Fear's thoughts continued. Not a Seer. But the only explanation is an umbran? It was merely a span of seconds but the deduction had come as if on the wind. The umbrans are the only ones I've seen who know my name, and they can portend destruction. Are the zebra and umbrans in it together? Why would they be working with one another? Some kind of deal perhaps? Fear spoke with a loud, booming voice, manipulating his vocal cords to make it spread. “I'm here in peace! Can anyone here translate basic Equestrian?”
The air grew humid and thick. Miasmic. It felt less like moisture and more like a vibrational tuning. But it was surrounding them.
Fear realized who was causing it immediately. His pals looked uncomfortable and were shifting and squirming, even Faith who knew what zebras were like in combat. He could feel the intention radiating off of the insignificant zebra, she was focusing on the air around them to translate words. Nyx had mentioned zebras capable of it. They focused on the meaning behind the words, rather than the words themselves, in order to touch the souls of others with the closest approximation to what was being said. “I said I'm here in peace. Thank you for bringing a translator.”
The mare ahead of him widened her eyes, they were violet in color Fear noticed. She appeared shocked Fear had so easily deduced he could speak clearly. But she did not reveal her hoof, even as her subordinates closed in, shutting off every single avenue of escape. She sat back on her haunches as well, placing a hoof against her chest. <Strange, unknown stallion. To what do we owe the pleasure of equine presence?>
Fear shifted uncomfortably for a second, his lips pulling back into an uncertain snarl. She was intentionally playing dumb. <My name is Fearei Shatter.> The zebra mare narrowed her eyes. Good, she gave away she can tell I'm playing dumb. Her emotions had shifted slightly. The wave had been almost non-existent but Fear had caught it. They could both tell the other was playing dumb. It was a small feedback loop that didn't have much of an end to it. Fear placed a hoof against his chest. <I'm here to speak with your leader. May I?>
The mare crossed her forelegs in an authoritarian manner. <I am her. My name is Zaya. This,> she gestured to the mare next to her, <is my translator Erza. We welcome you among our kind Fearei Shatter. I would wish to know the reason for your arrival. Surely the Abyssinians have no intent to trade equines as a peace treaty? The war has been over for over a century, nearly two.> There was a humorous lilt to Zaya's voice.
A small murmuring laugh ran through the crowd of zebras. They'd found that funny.
Fear shrugged his shoulders, holding his forelegs out again. <Yeah, it's time we all let bygones be bygones. I'm from the wasteland myself so I got to experience firsthoof the destruction the war wrought. I want no more of it. You know the feeling when you've had your favorite dessert taken away forever and you can never have it again? I don't want to put the Abyssinians through that.>
Zaya grimaced tightly, pulling her head back as if about to spit. The other zebras looked between themselves in worried confusion. <What is your aim, Fearei Shatter? You have not given your aim.>
Fear breathed in deep, and let out a torrential sigh. It echoed in the space the trio inhabited. He had to get ready to do something he'd never practiced before. Something he'd only theorized was possible. It had the potential for extreme repercussions. But if he could do it it'd keep them safe. <I can feel your intent to kill me, Zaya. I don't know why you're doing this, or why you feel I'm such a danger, I can only guess.> Not explicitly a lie, and it didn't give away that Fear was self-assured his guess was right. <I'm merely here for peace talks.> So much for not incriminating the Abyssinians. Too late for that though.
<I recommend you leave, while you still own your soul, Fearei Shatter.> Zaya said simply, with a nod. <I am a witch trained in the ways of soul combat. Your intentions will not give you power here. Please, mind your own business. You have two friends by your side who wish to see the next sunrise. I have no ill will toward ponies anymore. That all ceased when Princess Luna died.>
Fear considered his words, his eyes flicking to the side, blinking once, jaw hanging open. If only they knew what I knew. No point in revealing my hoof. <Sorry but this is my business. I don't want to see another wasteland in my time alive. So if you have to kill me then so be it. It's better to die a hero's death than a useless slave.> Fear spat on the ground in front of him, taunting the zebras with his act of disrespect. One zebra in the crowd stepped forward. Fear's telekinesis erupted from his horn with a 'shing' and latched onto Shaybna. The magic was a warm vanilla.
Zaya snorted. <A hero's death? You? No. You are an enemy. Plain and simple. Useless and easily forgotten. No one will miss you. I gave you your chance. If you side with the Abyssinians then you must die as well. Goodbye, Fearei Shatter.> Zaya stomped a hoof on the ground.
The zebras surged forth like a wave.
Acrid froze up. He'd intended to make a dome of earth but now that it was actually happening...!
Faith brought her Alicannon off her back and intended to spin it around.
Fear glanced back at them. <Leave this to me guys.> Then latched onto them with his magic, before subsuming their bodies and equipment in shadows. By manipulating those bodies he sent them rocketing back to the entrance. He forced them up out of the ground just as he brought his sword around. There was a war cry. His.
Thirty zebras, about that. All trained in Fallen Caesar martial arts. Fear feinted, slipping into the shadows as two zebras came up to him, intending to buck his barrel in. He slid back slightly, and jumped out of the shadows. No time for hesitation or to check on the others. These are dangerous foes. <Traipse in to the void, waves of untold secrets carry you away into silence! Sleep!> Fear brought the sword down on the two hindlegs that connected with each other. The quartz connected with bone, the spell, constantly maintained, seeped into the two zebras.
They collapsed without any effort, their eyes going dull and lifeless, lolling about.
Fear used a pulse of telekinesis to shove his body up into the air, then another pulse to send him spinning vertically as a zebra passed under him, bringing the sword around in an arc and sweeping it through the air, the tip lightly grazing the quick thinking zebra's scalp just as he tried to grab onto Fear.
The painted warrior went sliding forward into the ground, conking into the two others.
Fear hit the ground on all fours and flourished, getting low to the ground.
Another warrior approached, leaping at Fear off his hindlegs, twisting in the air, and bringing his back hooves up, kicking them forward.
Meanwhile another warrior lunged at Fear, gliding across the ground, pivoting a forehoof, and spinning, bringing a tailblade around to slice Fear's hindlegs off.
Fear hyuped onto his forelegs, doing what amounted to a handstand, and leaned forward, bringing the sword around to catch the zebra's hooves.
The zebra who landed on the sword with his kicking hooves vaulted off vertically, soaring into the air, and came down on where Fear was.
Fear repeated the incantation as the zebra sweeping the tailblade for his hindlegs did a somersault as his head faced him, and vaulted in order to kick Fear in his exposed stomach. Fear fell forward and caught himself on a slope of telekinesis, twisting around and bringing the sword with him, nicking the groundbound zebra's hoof, then sweeping it up and catching the hoof of the one coming down from above.
Five down.
Fear spun as he got onto all fours and brought the sword back around, intending to slam it into the side of an approaching zebra's skull. The next warrior pulled back at the last second, then reached out to grab Fear's face in his forelegs.
The warrior's hooves met air as Fear dove into the shadows, attaching to his stomach, and twirling about to his back, popping out hindlegs first, wrapped his forelegs around the zebra's stomach, and used a pulse of telekinesis to send him tumbling forward, bringing the zebra up, around, then down skull first into the ground giving him a concussion.
Another pulse of telekinesis sent Fear spinning around the zebra's body like it was a pole, flinging himself around and letting go, flying hind hooves first toward another zebra's face.
That zebra brought his forelegs up to guard.
It was a feint.
Fear pushed himself to the ground onto his forelegs and surged up with his hindlegs, jabbing the warrior in the stomach, crushing ribs hard enough to make them crack. Fear fell into the shadows as two more zebras lunged at him from the sides. He came up from behind the zebra he'd just incapacitated the lungs of and wound his sword around, repeating the incantation, and swiping it across the scalps of the two who'd tried to grab him.
Eight down.
Fear leaped back as a zebra came at him from ahead, Zaya and Erza having moved to give them space, not daring use her powers for fear of harming her comrades, Fear could tell.
The warrior coming at Fear from ahead flew into a series of close combat swings and punches.
Fear ducked, weaved, and danced as he skittered over downed striped bodies.
The warrior pretended to jump in order to throw a knee in Fear's face.
Fear didn't fall for the bait and duck to the side, but instead brought a forehoof up with a raucous scream and slammed it into the zebra's throat, temporarily collapsing his larynx and sending him to the ground barely able to breathe. Fear slipped into the shadows again and rushed away from the scene, forcing the others to follow the primary threat.
Nine down.
Fear couldn't spend time breathing as he leaped out, sword coming to his defense as he pumped positive emotions into it, parrying a duo of zebra hooves. Another zebra tried to grab him from behind. Fear responded by leaning on his forelegs and kicking his hindlegs out, his small size aiding him and allowing him to get his tiny hindlegs through the space and slamming hard into striped chest, sending spittle flying and bones pressing into lungs.
One warrior coming at him tried to duck under his blade and get in close and personal while the other spent time harrying the emotional sword and provoking its attention.
Fear reacted easily, sliding to the side with a burst of telekinesis, and then using a second burst to shove the zebra coming at him into the ground, flattening him like a pancake.
In between moves Fear spoke the incantation in a rush, and brought the sword away from the provoker down to the zebra who'd just attacked him, and followed up by jabbing the butt of the handle into the second warrior's snout, skewing it. Fear felt another zebra come at him and twisted around, doing a backwards somersault and planting his hindlegs into his attacker's chest and sending the runner gliding over him and skidding across the dirt just as his blade finally touched the previous, then whipped around and pricked the point of it into the zebra he'd just countered.
Twelve down. About eighteen left.
Three zebra came at him at once, two from the sides and one from above. One tried to buck him, another tried to slice through his knees, and the other was bringing a hoof down onto where his skull was. Fear was panting hard, unable to quite go into the shadows very easily. He countered by punching himself into the air to the side with telekinesis, over the one trying to sweep him, tumbling as he did so, falling on top of the zebra with an 'oof,' and bringing the sword up to cascade the tip against incoming hoof, sending the unconscious body plummeting into earth and spinning it around to come down on the zebra to his right's head.
Fear rolled off the zebra who was flailing under him, spinning across the ground and pushing himself up with all four legs. The warrior tried to lunge at Fear. The young stallion feinted by pretending to meet him hoof for hoof, but flattened himself down with telekinesis at the last second, letting the zebra stumble over his prone body. He brought the sword to greet the warrior and send him into knock out land.
Fifteen taken care of. Fifteen left. It was easy to sense the souls still around now.
Fear was ready to take on more, huffing, puffing, and panting, his chest heaving. Yet no others were coming at him. The dirt was littered with passed out striped forms like logs caught in various positions. One was grasping at his throat trying to breathe, crawling across the ground. Two others were clutching their destroyed rib cages. The remaining fifteen were keeping their distance, trying to judge how to approach this menace. Fear knew what they were thinking.
We need to stop attacking first.
Something like that anyway. It was the agreed upon emotional intent within all of them. Fear merely spun his blade in circles, passing it from either side of him, before bringing it down next to his face and holding out a hoof.
<Come on shitlords there are a lot of you, one of me, and I don't have all day to play with you kiddies!>
The taunt seemed to get them moving. All fifteen of them were spiraling around Fear, slowly drawing closer like a kaleidoscope of striped enemies.
<Hah!> Fear barked. <I never thought I'd see the day when I was fighting a centuries old enemy! You know this might be war between us all for Abyssinia but we don't have to do this. Just give up!> Fear's breathing was growing a little ragged, but he still stayed standing.
Radiation was evolution, change, unregulated growth. It was poison of the highest order, and he was growing accustomed to the feeling he needed to summon to his sword by constantly spouting the words that brought the power out of his blade. Growing used to touching minds with poison.
<I said come on fuckers! Come get me!> Fear taunted one more time as he watched all fifteen in his mind's eye. <How about this? I'll close my eyes and you all can try to attack me that way!> Fear did as he'd promised, and let his eyes fall shut.
One zebra had enough, diverging from the group and launching at Fear.
Fear danced to the side and brought his sword tip around, slightly grazing the zebra and sending him to the ground in a crumpled heap of limbs.
<Got anymore for me you useless sacks of shit!?>
The striped enemy knew better than to approach Fear without a plan. Fear's eyes were still closed, but it made him even more dangerous. Now he could sense the location of souls, the ramification of intent, on a congenital level.
Four zebras approached in a cardinal fashion. Four more zebras approached from compass directions. They were slow, tentative. They were waiting for their opponent to make the first move.
<Meaningless!> Fear cried out, and swept the sword in a circle. Every zebra sneered. That was what Fear wanted, for them to let down their guard. They thought he was harmless if they didn't attack first.
Fear felt the first zebra lunge at him as his sword was on the opposite side. The warriors had pulled away to keep from being nicked but that didn't matter. The young stallion rolled under the one who had lunged at him, tripping him up unexpectedly and sending him face first into the ground. He brought his sword tip down onto the zebra's flanks, knocking him unconscious.
Eyes still closed.
Fourteen left.
Another zebra tried to jump on top of him while his sword was busy. Another slid forward to kick him while he was down.
Fear plunged into the shadows and let the two zebras collide with each other, then popped out a few inches away.
Two other zebras had expected it and attempted to attack him when he came up out of the shadows for air. Fear just sent himself into the air and brought his sword up above his body.
The striped foe coming down on top of him flailed, seeing himself about to be impaled.
Feint.
The young stallion shoved himself to the side and brought his sword with him, letting the tip barely slice the flesh of his attacker's barrel. Fear hit the ground on all fours, and brought the sword up in an arc and then down on the zebras who'd finally untangled themselves, knocking them out with one cut, then arching it around horizontally and touching the one who was caught under the fallen body.
Ten left.
Fear jumped forward, bringing a hoof around and lightly bapping the one who'd snuck up behind him in the face.
The zebra tried to grab it.
Fear grinned as hooves connected, and brought his other forehoof up, lunging forward, and slamming it into the crook of his 'legpit' then spun around until his back was against the warrior's stomach, and heaved, bringing the striped one up and then down into the ground on his back, a crack sounding out from the force of his spine hitting the ground. He brought the sword down on him, lightly touching the stomach.
Twenty-one out for the count.
The zebras attacking Fear were all growing incredibly wary. They didn't know how to fight this little one. They barely even knew his name. One was getting wet between the legs and ran off with his tail tucked away.
Eight remained.
Eyes kept closed.
<At least one of you knows when to give up! So. When do I get the honor of fighting Witch Zaya, hm? Is it only until all of you are knocked out like the rest!? None of you stand a chance, just give up! I've trained for this, and none of you have what it takes to take me down! Your will is shrinking, I can feel it. Save face, keep your dignity. Don't let a little pony knock you out. I haven't even killed any of you, just incapacitated!>
Fear's speech was having its desired impact. Another zebra wandered away, giving up silently.
Seven left.
Another's shaking legs finally got the best of him and he prostrated against the ground. <No! Please! Spare us! We didn't know!> Fear felt the intent. He hadn't wanted to kill the Abyssinians. Still, 'I was just following orders' was no excuse. The young stallion forced himself to calm down.
It might not be an excuse but most of these zebras haven't grown up like I did. They've been brainwashed by their culture, by their nationality. Fear twirled his sword again. <I'm not letting my guard down until each and every one of you is either unconscious or out of this damn compound!>
The one who'd prostrated himself ran off without another word, taking Fear's mercy.
Six more.
<You want a piece of this still!? Come get it! I don't have time for your dilly dallying!> Fear's voice was full of faux rage. He remembered Chrono Corona. The Abyssinians may or may not be innocent, but they didn't deserve the death these zebras intended for them. <How about we do this another way? Why don't you tell me why you're intending to kill the Abyssinians? Hm?>
<The satyr Seele,> one finally spoke, albeit calmly. Far more disciplined. <He wishes to see the Abyssinians suffer for what they did to the Storm King.>
Fear balked. <That's why you're going for them!? For revenge!? I'm giving you all one last chance. Give up or I'm taking the gloves off and you're dying!> It was a bluff.
Zaya approached. <For revenge, but also so that Seele will give us the technology we need to prosper.> Her voice was rhythmic, with a certain primal cadence. <I suppose you've earned that much information, Fearei Shatter.>
<You have no idea what you're up against. I'm not going to let you do whatever you want. I'm here to keep the peace. Even if you keep sending zebras I'll keep taking all of you down. Call off your lapdogs and I'll spare their lives!> Fear showed no ounce of uncertainty.
Zaya nodded once. <Fine. They may go. Leave the compound for now. Your fight is with me colt.> She paused. <And them.> The zebras collected around Fear, except for the passed out bodies, left.
Fear glanced as he felt a pair of presences enter his range. Acrid and Faith. His head bolted to look toward them. Their eyes were wide. Dull.
<Think fast, colt.> Zaya spoke.
Intent blasted across Fear's brain as he realized what had happened. He could feel the poison in their souls. Zaya had tainted them similarly to when Breiker had tainted his family.
Fear wove to the side as earth surged up to try and grab his hooves and pin him. He somersaulted as he felt something lash out from Zaya. Then he threw himself into the air as Faith's cannon fired at him. Fear twirled himself around in circles with telekinesis, fusing his sword to his body with shadows, then launched his body at his family as fast as he could.
Faith brought her cannon up like a pike to stab Fear as he came at them.
Fear shoved himself up.
Acrid sent a burst of rock to pierce Fear's belly.
Fear pushed himself higher.
<Though hearts are heavy and souls have stains, the fires of healing shall cleanse our pains!> Fear cried as he pulsed himself to the ground hard, his legs tremoring under him as he hit the ground, brought his sword out, and slashed the fire tipped spell across the backs of both his loved ones' necks.
Acrid and Faith, as they turned around, jerked in place, their jaws clenching up. Both froze, then a shuddering convulsion ran through them and they collapsed to the ground as the poison was slowly burned away from their souls.
Fear jumped forward, feeling Zaya trying to do something to his family, and pushed himself in the way of it.
He realized too late what it was.
Fear shoved himself to his left as something cold and burning opened its maw up wide to consume him. Something spiritual and grotesque, a presence of power more than a creature. The jaw clamped down on Fear's hindlegs.
There was a scream.
Zaya laughed maniacally. <I see now why you pushed them away from you! You should trust your friends more! Or not. It doesn't matter.>
Fear felt a poison inject into his body. He repeated the fire incantation and pressed it to his back as he hit the ground on his belly.
<Oh no you don't,> Zaya muttered as if declaring an oath. <You lose here and now.>
Fear felt the next poison flood into him within seconds. Starting at his right hind hoof. It gradually spread upward. He slammed his sword down into his leg, sending blossoming warmth funneling through it.
The searing cold and the chilling warmth met together in the hindleg like a curse and a cure colliding. The nerves were dying, everything inside and out, leaving the leg numb and dangling limply. But it ended just above the knee, near the hip.
Fear realized he had to end this quickly, and slipped into the shadows. All he needed was the right intent. Fear masked his soul with a silent illusion. A skilled feint. Not even thinking about it, just flowing into it like it was second nature, a tip from Drax. Zaya was none the wiser. He was going to get close to her and use the Solar Flare spell.
It was a dumb illusion, but Fear had nothing better in mind.
That would work well enough though. Zaya lashed out with her soul to try and grab Fear and yank him out of the shadows.
The two read each other like it was a game of Poker and both of them were obvious.
Fear's body slithered up next to Zaya and leaped out of the shadows. He brought his forelegs up, as if to successfully call on the power of the sun.
<No! Cursed interstellar spells!> Zaya brought up the electromagnetism of the earth to her call as she muttered a ritualistic spell under her breath, covering her face with a foreleg. Zaya's downfall was not that she was stupid, so much that she'd underestimated and overestimated Fear at the same time. While she had overestimated he could use the solar flare as quickly and powerfully as his illusory intent had dictated, she had underestimated his ability with illusions. That, and she had overestimated her own skill with her soul reading spell.
The shadow attached to Fear's body lunged out. Shade morphed into blade, and stabbed brutally into Zaya's shoulder. Blood blossomed.
Fear's eyes contracted. <On the fringes of birth and death, sealed in limbo, freeze!> He brought his forelegs forward, letting the spell surge through his sword and into the zebra witch.
The young stallion collapsed onto the ground on one side, catching his weight with three legs, the lame leg crumpling under him. He let out a long whistle of a breath as Zaya's own body fell like a lead weight, her soul magic, her physical capabilities, her ritualistic spells, everything sealed away temporarily.
Fear dared not collapse onto his side, his... permanently dead leg dangling under him. He recalled how the zebras in the alternate timeline had tried to assassinate him. He glared down at Zaya, tempted to kick her in the gut, stomp on her ribs and shatter them. She had taken something away from him for good! She took my leg! I can't move it! It's impossible! It's completely numb!! Fear's inner voice was panicked, but his face was set into a calm scowl. However... Fear knew.
There wasn't time to focus on that right now. There was an umbran here somewhere.
Fear walked on three legs, casting his vision about, staying close to Zaya.
Why can't I sense him? There is guaranteed an umbran around here somewhere. Unless it's off somewhere else? Where would an umbran go...? Hmm... umbrans are neither living nor dead, just an equine shaped mass of necromantic magical potential that feeds on despair. So... Fear's eyes widened and whipped around looking at nothing. It's probably masking its soul signature with the scent of death? The feeling of unfeeling? It'd make sense. After I killed two of them they wouldn't want to play around anymore. It's becoming a pattern. Fear glared at Zaya. <Where's your umbran friend, Zaya!? He's a danger to everyone, even us!> It sounded weird letting that come out of his mouth.
Umbrans, Fear thought. Aren't all dangers. But this one is. It's clearly manipulating things.
<Come out!> He shouted. <I know you're out there!>
Zaya groaned out. <Ex... saaaaa.> A series of coughs and spasms.
Exa, the umbran, wandered out of one of the tents, presence still stifled, and spoke. <You are indeed a threat to us, Fearei Shatter. It has been a long time since we have felt trepidation. Nonetheless, your friends are no longer here. And...> The umbran held up an item in his sickly telekinetic aura. A balefire bomb. He looked exactly like Petta, but a little more grisly, with more strands of seemingly peeled flesh. <I think I'm going to put a stop to you here, and now. And take your body for myself.>
Fear snarled, his sword coming back into his body. <Just try!> He watched the nuke carefully, with keen eyes. <You wanna blow us all to kingdom come with a damn balefire bomb?> It was a tear-shaped egg with water trickle-like flames surrounding it, a pulsating, glowing radioactive core at its center. <Hah, big scary necrodick thinks his threats affect me of all stallions. Go ahead, use the balefire bomb, turn us into zombies. I'll still come back and slap your limbo ass with my rotting cock, knock your razor teeth in until they're cutting up your guts, and make you shit them out you cowardly son of a bitch!>
Zaya looked at Fear with horror in her eyes, unable to lift her head. Truly afraid of the small colt now, not knowing what to expect, or what he was capable of. He seemed like a demigod in that one moment, unable to grasp the truth. Was Fear a demigod who could use interstellar spells like Exa had spoken of the Starlight Shredder, or was he merely a changeling? Was he both? None? Her shock was rampant on her face as she drooled on the ground from her paralysis.
It would've been funny if Fear had time for that.
The umbran was surprised by Fear's gall, the first hint of emotion other than sadism showing on that glowing turquoise face that looked like a flayed skull.
Only one chance for this. Fear let his eyes fall shut and called out. Omega Storm! I need you! Fear felt the presence in his mind filter from him, and shoot forward faster than light, as if it was moving space around her with its thought, rather than moving through it.
Fear's eyes glimmered. He leaned forward.
Exa looked curious, about to drop it. <Fine if that's how you want it I will.>
<On the fringes of birth and death!> Fear's image phased out as he switched places with his tulpa. One second he was a few yards away the next he was right up next to the umbran.
Exa rose up onto his hindlegs in surprise, whinnying as he dropped the volatile, activated balefire bomb.
The shadow attached to Fear's body slid out. <Sealed in limbo!> The blade glistened with a pale blue molten sheen as the tip slid into the falling balefire bomb, stabbing. <Freeze!> The emotion poured into the blade, and the spell scattered into the core.
It was unsure what had happened first, the bomb had activated or Fear had defused it. Either way, the young stallion didn't stop there. He let out a war cry. <Danger, scatter to shrapnel, explode!> And he brought the nuke, speared on the tip of his sword, up and down onto the ground, making the entire thing explode into pieces of egg splatter leaving only flames.
Exa lunged at Fear in frustration, intending to kill him with one touch.
Fear's image phased away from the umbran, back to where he was before, his tulpa taking his place, her body made of pure thought sliding right through the necromantic energy.
<You think you got me? You think you're the best!? Well I got news for you! You're nothing! Why not live your life a little more honorably huh!?> Fear floated his blade back to him and twirled it with a flourish, sweeping through the air in a figure eight, the cut creating a whistle sound.
Exa stomped on the ground like a petulant foal. <You horrendous little colt! Do you have any idea what you've done!?>
<I know exactly what I've done!>
<You're lucky you didn't kill those zebras, or I'd be raising them all from the dead to fight you with all their power! You would never beat them!> Exa grumbled. <But I guess I'll have to settle for feeding from them.>
Fear held his blade in the air vertically. <I got news for you Exa! I'm not going to give you the chance!>
Exa looked up at Fear with morbid curiosity.
<You're not the only one who's grown more powerful!> Fear called out with his soul, taking the mass of sleeping bodies, his family, and the zebras, and pulling from them. Siphoning their love. <There's a reason I bluffed about killing them!>
Zaya's gaze lingered on Fear with awe.
Exa snorted. <You think that's enough to kill me?>
The young stallion screamed as he felt the flood of love enter his body, and he filtered it into the sword. <Yes I do! What's better than concentrated despair? Concentrated love! Love will always overcome fear!> He slid his sword through the air, spinning it over him.
Exa couldn't keep up the bluff. He took a couple steps back.
Fear grimaced, holding the blade next to his face as the pinkest pink, bubbling, fizzing gaseous liquid poured from his mind into his sword, latching onto it. <You know what's better than a love powered sword, Exa!?> Fear enthused with a hiss.
Exa's voice stumbled. <W-what?>
<A love powered spell!> Fear charged at the umbran.
The umbran lashed out with his sickly power to try and catch one of the nearby zebras and kill them. Surely Fear cared too much about this life to let it be extinguished? Hostages were important for despair!
Fear's sword melted against him, into his shadow, and his form phased from where it was, appearing in front of the sickly aura.
Never before had the young stallion been so scared something wouldn't work, but even as his heart hammered in his chest he knew he had to try. Love is life! He pulled his sword free from his body and swirled it in the air, catching the necromantic energy...
And tainting it. Fear had thought for sure it would merely cut through. But he didn't let up. As his sword swung through the miasma he grit his teeth and anchored his hooves. His sword radiated an effervescent smoke of pink, constantly shifting, with a liquid shell surrounding the blade itself. It mixed with the necromantic energy, life and death swirling together. Fear leaped forward off of three hooves at Exa.
Exa was connected to the aura, lassoed by it. There was a loud scream. It wasn't Fear's as the umbran cowered away, seeing its death coming to it. Mortal just like all the others.
<Spreading spring, enormous love, heed my call, terror destruction!> Fear stabbed the umbran with his sword. The love spread like a virus, clinging to more and more territory, making Exa's flesh bubble and pop like a bulbous rash. It was constantly growing, climbing. Exa shrieked. He tried to pull himself off. Then tried to touch Fear to kill him.
Fear switched places with his tulpa, arriving on the whole other side, still holding onto his blade with telekinesis, funneling the spell into Exa.
There was a loud, agonizing screech like metal on metal, then a sound like fungus exploding and melting away into mold slime. All as Exa's body ruptured, completely rent apart by the love coursing through its body. All that was left was a sketchy looking orb of black and white light that flitted through the air before diving into Fear's blade, making it glow and creating a new rune.
Fear took a few moments to catch his breath as the battle... seemed to be over? He stumbled. He'd been using his tulpa a lot and it was leaving his mind a little fragmented like he hadn't experienced in a while. Not only that but his right hindleg was completely destroyed. Nerve-wise, it couldn't move. Just another scar. I'll take care of it later. There are more important things right now. Fear carefully limped over to Zaya.
<Witch Zaya. I'm giving you one single chance to give up here and now. I don't care what your reasoning for doing so is. But you've lost. There's no point to you also losing your life. The war of a couple centuries ago is over. And with it should also be the death of nationalistic ideals such as fighting to the death for a lost cause.>
Fear paused.
<I promise to protect you to the best of my ability, and try to find a way to help your people with whatever trouble they're having. Whatever reason made you latch onto the satyrs.> Fear shunked his blade into the ground next to him and leaned on it. <So. Do we have a truce?>
Erza stood in the background, looking at everything with an empty sense of wonder.
Zaya's voice came out low. <I surrender, Fearei Shatter. I didn't... never wanted to imagine Exa would try to use us.>
Fear knew it wasn't just that which was influencing her decision.
<Seele is a conqueror though,> Zaya continued. <You will not have an easy time. He has an umbran on his side as well. They are working together. Mercilessly. The umbrans wish to collect enough despair to destroy their barrier completely. I guess they are backstabbers though...>
Fear huffed and spun a hoof. <I figured. Don't worry about it right now. We have bigger fish to fry. Like I said I don't care about your reasons, how shallow or even how deep they are. I only care about your decision.> He sat on his haunches, though his lame leg was a little twisted up and splayed out to the side from his body without him noticing. It was a little... ugly.
Acrid and Faith were the first to wake up, about the same time. It'd started with groaning and proceeded to rubbing the back of their necks in pain from the slight cut in the skin. Hopefully it wouldn't scar, Fear thought. He was busy sitting in one of the tents with the other two. The place was moderately furnished, with things like sleeping bags, etc. It wasn't exactly thorough, given it was a temporary station, but there were some trinkets lying about from zebras who'd taken things from home. To remind them of their lives, of their families.
These zebras all have lives. They're just trying to survive. Fear's thoughts continued. The young stallion blew on a wooden mug of juicy apple and mint tea. He held it in his telekinesis. “It's good to see you two awake.”
Faith grumbled, “I feel like I took a caravan to the back of the head.”
Acrid quipped. “Same but...” it started as a quip but then it dragged off. “Actually I got nothing. Fear what happened?”
Fear took a little sip, closing his eyes. “I fought some zebras, lost a leg. Battled an umbran. Standard operating procedure with us. You know how it is.”
Faith snorted. “Nothing about this is natural... how'd you win?”
“I don't want to talk about it right now.” Fear sighed. “It's bad enough I've lost a leg.” It was as if it hadn't sunk in for the others yet. “I wanted to apologize for not trusting you two more. I should've kept you with me when we fought all those zebras. I just...”
Acrid waved a hoof. “You didn't want us getting in the way, right? It was a good idea. Faith and I couldn't take them on. We don't have the right skill sets for it.” It was an excuse, a way to cope and brush it off, a sort of sour tone, but it came out genuine.
Harrumph, Faith sounded out. “You don't know that for sure, Acrid!”
Fear set down his mug. “Either way. They were really skilled and once they determined me a threat they finally started acting serious. But even that wasn't enough.” The young stallion shrugged. “I'm... numb right now you guys. All I can do is apologize.”
Faith... finally nodded. “Don't worry about it Fear. A mare approached us soon after you shot us away from the main combat and fought with us. She didn't take any damage. She had all this electromagnetism surrounding her and she took a full brunt alicannon shot.” She slumped.
Fear could tell they were both dejected, mournful. He didn't know what to say, or how to help. How do you tell someone it's okay to be weak sometimes? Especially when we depend on each other as much as we do? “On the bright side your guys' love helped me defeat the umbran.”
“Ugh,” Acrid sighed. “That's not really that impressive.”
Fear shrugged and mumbled, bringing the mug back to his lips and drinking a little more despite how it burned his mouth like a fire. The mint was refreshing, and the apple juice gave it a sugary fruitiness. “I could always try to teach you the things I intend to teach Gentler.”
Faith considered it. “I'd like that, but... I don't think I want to move outside of my comfort zone, using my physical body for everything. Thank you though.”
Acrid wasn't certain either. “That's a lot of work. I don't think it'd even help. I'm not an up close fighter like you. I'm an area of effect and ranged attacker and defender.” He rolled his shoulders. “Still, you should do it Faith. At least learn shadow walking. It might help.”
“I will if you do, Acrid.” Faith responded.
“Fffffiiiiine,” the older stallion mumbled. “I guess I can try to learn it. It's one thing out of how many things in Fear's repertoire by this point? Might as well.”
And like that, the emotions had more or less returned to normal due to a simple suggestion. Maybe I was overthinking it. I suppose stabilizing emotions are as simple as offering to help sometimes. “I'll teach all three of you shadow walking if I can. I've also been considering how to teach an earth pony telekinesis. It seems like it'd be an extension of stickyhooves. I'm still thinking on it.”
Acrid and Faith looked between them. “Sheesh Fear,” Acrid stated. “You're really going all out on this teaching thing huh? What happened to taking it easy?”
“Haha!” Fear laughed. “I don't know. I just... wanna make sure you guys don't feel bad. You guys tell me often that weakness isn't a bad thing, but I just know how it feels so I don't want to put you through that if you guys don't have to be.”
Faith bat a hoof. “Fear it's fine. If we can't learn everything we're not going to be too bothered. We have our skills too after all. We're just sort of sulking, but we'll get over it. It's inevitable.”
Fear gave a tentative smile. “Are you two sure?”
“Positive,” Acrid responded. “You worry about you for now.”
Fear's anxiety always seemed to make the others feel better, one way or another. Oh well. If they stick to it I'm sure I can teach them with time and effort on both our parts. I wanna turn everyone around me into winners. I don't want there to ever be losers ever again, especially not my loved ones. I want us all to prosper together, and maybe teaching everyone magic is how to do it. I don't know. I'm not going to get too ahead of myself.
Maybe I'm being a little overdramatic? Fear had a distinct desire to hold a funeral for his dead leg. Sure it was just... numb. And he couldn't move it no matter how hard it tried. But it was difficult walking with only three hooves all the time. Such a languid, annoying experience having one trailing behind him constantly, sometimes clopping about as the hoof jostled against the ground like an ugly vestigial limb. That was the worst part, it was incredibly unattractive now. The others didn't seem to care and he didn't understand why. Upon asking them they'd said it was just another scar on his journey.
But it's a lost limb! Doesn't that mean anything? I'm technically disabled now! They told him that they felt for him, but they knew he'd get over it. He was clever enough to do anything. Why was he worrying so much? He'd gone through worse things.
It was mind blowing how uncaring they seemed about it. He knew they cared but... they just trusted him blindly! Expected him to get over it eventually, like it was no big deal. Would they feel the same if it happened to them? Likely not.
Ugh. This was just another thing the wasteland did, took away the ability to do things.
Zaya came into the tent, requesting Fear's attention. Erza was behind her. <What will you have us do? Admit to the King and Queen what our intentions were?>
Fear pushed his thoughts away for now. It was incredibly distracting but there was no time. <Yeah. Pretty much. They'll probably want to execute you.> Before the zebra mare could respond he continued. <But I'm not going to let them, even if I need to escort you out of Panthera. I'm not letting them kill everyone just willy nilly just because they did something wrong.> His forelegs stiffened, flexing slightly.
<You're a kind soul, Fearei Shatter. Maybe too kind.> Zaya looked off to the side, gnawing her lower lip.
<Forget about it. And just call me Fear. My full name is rough on the ears when it's constantly being repeated.> He waved a hoof around and put it down. <I don't suppose you can heal my leg?>
Zaya breathed in deep. <No. I'm sorry.>
<I didn't think so. What exactly did you do to it anyway?>
<I modified your soul. It was a poison that steals the use of certain functions. Your soul merely has forgotten, and can never remember, that it has a leg to use. It will occasionally have glimpses, and that will lead to phantom pains you will only be able to eventually overcome by remembering they aren't real.> Zaya sounded genuinely solemn about it.
Fear shuddered. <You were merciless huh?>
Zaya shrugged a shoulder. <Well it was either that, or try to explicitly kill you. But after you showed mercy to my soldiers I figured I owed you life, even if it was an incapacitated one. Despite what Exa told me about your brutality.> She looked off to the side. <Besides, even among zebras destroying a soul with our magic is looked down upon. It taints a soul's psyche forever. And I am a witch, not a warrior.>
Fear chose to omit that he'd destroyed a soul before. And realized that Zaya was having doubts about Exa from the start.
<Why do you refrain from speaking?> Zaya queried.
<Oh. Well I guess I can't hide that easily.> He blushed and tilted his chin against his chest. <I destroyed... part of a soul once. Timeline shenanigans.>
Zaya nodded once. <That is a terrible thing. But it must not have been the same way we are capable of it. That or you did not destroy all facets of their soul, just a specific segment that was tainted. When we destroy a soul, we destroy all facets.>
As in all timelines? How's that work? Does every timeline self of that pony just merely... fall dead? Well at least this means Breiker is in some way, shape, or form alive. <Is the taint similar to when a pony cannibalizes another pony?>
<Yes, Fear. It creates a constant, insatiable hunger from then on. Eternal. It is a poison. I suspect you could alleviate, though not cure, this poison to some degree with your sword, but you'd need a lot of magic, and it is only a theory.> Zaya held a hoof against her chest, before clicking it against the ground. <How did you like your tea by the way? I am sorry I could not make it for you, but I hope my guidance was... fruitful.> She grew a tentative smile.
<Yeah it was good. I haven't had tea before now. I should drink it more often. And you're right, using apple juice instead of water was just right for me. How'd you know I like sweet and fruity things?> Fear was curious, finding himself flowing perfectly into camaraderie.
<I read your soul. Nothing more. I honestly should've listened to what I read in the first place, instead of attacking you.> Zaya shook her head from side to side. <We should get going soon though. I will escort you. However before we go one of my soldiers is making a temporary splint for you, so your leg does not wander around.> She stood up and twisted around.
<Gee, thanks,> Fear spat sarcastically. <I know you mean well but it would've been cool if you could've, like, not done it in the first place.>
<We were enemies Fear. I did all I knew. I am sorry.>
<Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry. I'm still bitter. And going to be for awhile.> Fear sighed. <By the way, what are zebra's morbid fascination with souls in the first place?>
Zaya grinned, waiting for Fear to follow her to the entrance to the tent where his friends were waiting. <I can only speak for myself. I have always been enthralled with the way souls greet a husk of a body when it is first born. I am in love with the... usual amnesia it undergoes, and I admire the way it seamlessly integrates with the brain at birth. How, unlike a parasite, it is unobtrusive and merges, fuses, and becomes a submissive partner to the brain itself. I try to fight the same way a soul would. But I cannot just be defensive all the time.>
Fear 'huh'ed. Well that was interesting. As Fear got his splint in place, fusing his leg erect temporarily, he asked Zaya to elaborate more on the threat that was this... Seele.
<Seele is the Satyr's new Storm King; although he is... different. He managed to get a black book, a book with dark magics inscribed in it, and used it to give himself an unalterable, yet undefeatable fate. His intent is to conquer Equestria, who stymied the satyr's efforts in the first place, and to steal its secrets. They have elemental technology, and have used their black book to create soul weapons, weapons that destroy a soul and the connections to the body in such a visceral way that the brain is ripped apart. They are in their country, working on a soul engine for a train they are building near Abyssinia's borders. They use the spirits to give it various enchantments, and to power it. It’s... grotesque. But we needed their technology.>
Fear realized that there were multiple reasons Zaya had finally given in. Part of it was trust. <So let me get this straight. While the wasteland has been suffering and scavenging for its war time bullshit, the satyrs have been slowly collecting power and researching their own bullshit in order to eventually invade everyone? With weapons that completely ignore armor and could kill any single creature that has a modicum of intelligence?>
Zaya grinned from ear to ear, lidding her eyes in an almost seductive manner, which for her, seeing as Fear wasn't used to zebras, was exotic. <Precisely. While the wasteland deals with its problems, all of us are constantly progressing and trying to find peace. With Princess Luna dead and gone, the zebras have shed their hatred of equines with time. The ones farthest away from the wasteland at least.> She gave a little shrug.
I can't hide Luna's presence from everyone. <Luna still exists... in dreams. She's watching over the night and pacifying the nightmares of others.>
Zaya glanced to Fear and murmured. <So it's true... how strange.>
<Huh?>
<Exa said Luna existed within the realm of dreams, and he was hoping to turn me into a hypnomancer so that I may be able to find her and take her out with my spell to read and find souls.> Zaya sounded uncomfortable. <I declined. I did not fully believe him, and I personally never believed Princess Luna was the threat we all saw her as. Startouched, Worldtouched, those words are meaningless to me. I do not believe souls can be tainted by interstellar or planetary forces. I do not believe in astrology. And even if I did, that is no reason to exterminate a species.>
<That's not all he told you, is it?>
Zaya nodded. <I do not trust umbrans as a rule. They are harbingers of despair. I had a feeling he was manipulating us, but I had no proof, and I did not want to forsake a potential friendship and be left with nothing, all for a gut feeling. I apologize for that. Though I can't say I would have done any differently if I had not seen your power and compassion Fear.>
<What about this Worldtouched thing you speak of? What's that? I've heard of the other but never that one.>
<Worldtouched,> Zaya explained, <is someone touched by the world, by a planet's motherly, kind, protecting nature. It is not necessarily touched by a planet, but it is someone who exudes love. If I was more superstitious, I would daresay you are Worldtouched, Fear. You wielded the love of my brethren and your family like it was second nature. Love is not normally a weapon, but a force of protection. It is a powerful form of magic, though it usually comes in the form of romance.> She shook her head. <The fact that you used a force of protection as a tool for destruction, against a force of destruction, leaves me in awe. You are... terrifying, Fear.>
Fear was left in silence for awhile, just mulling that around. <Well. Either way I worked to come this far. So don't get the wrong ideas. I'm not a monster. I'm just a hard worker.>
<I feel that in your soul as well, Fear. Do not think it is lost on me. Your determination is astounding. I do think you should have trusted your friends more, and kept them with you so I had not been able to attack them, but I do think they would have gotten in your way in this situation. My warriors would have likely used them as hostages if they weren't able to fend them off. There are many what ifs in the world, but I am glad it worked out how it did.>
More ideas to muse on. Fear decided it wasn't worth dwelling over. <Thanks. I'm trying not to think about it. I trusted my gut in that moment, and I'm glad I did. It might've been the wrong choice but I did it.> The two were on the path back to Panthera. <Let's focus on King Leo and Queen Lisa right now. Not on us. You seem like you'd make for a good friend though, Zaya.>
<I am more than willing to be friends with you, Fear. You have proven yourself in combat, and as an equine. Your display of compassion will never be lost on me, and it is inspiring.>
<Don't think too hard on it,> Fear responded. <I was merely lucky I didn't have to kill your warriors, and that I'd come up with a way to incapacitate others. Nothing more than the right place, at the right time.>
Zaya smiled. But you chose to do things the hard way, Fear, she thought.
<Besides,> Fear continued. <I knew I was dealing with an umbran and I couldn't give him a level up. It was all a tactical decision.>
Zaya didn't believe that for a second. It had just happened to work out. Fear was just being modest. Faith and Acrid just looked at Fear with a simper and a grin respectively. They weren't going to interrupt, though Acrid did consider making their movement faster with earth manipulation like he'd learned from those wrestlers. Fear had an awkward gait to his walk, given one leg shuffled along behind him and his body sagged like he had a limp. Along the way to Panthera, Fear asked, and was given, more of what Zaya was capable of. Calling upon the soul of the world through ritual in order to cast elemental abilities, like fire, heat, cold, water, wind, poison, cleansing. And other things. A lot similar to what Fear could do, but differently.
Lisa's lower lip trembled. Her brow furrowed. Leo slumped over, his elbows on his knees. Face in his hands. The tomcat was shaking, not in rage, but in relief and terror.
They had come days away from their unexpected end, just like the wasteland.
Zaya crossed her forelegs over each other and bowed her head. <I apologize, your majesties, for the trouble we have caused. And I hope that through Fear our two nations can relearn to coexist. If you must take it out on someone, please let it be me, and not my subordinates.>
Fear spoke up before the king and queen could, his face set in a perpetual scowl, standing behind and to the side of Zaya, with Erza behind him to his other side. <King Leo, Queen Lisa. I have already told you my side of the story. I would appreciate your mercy. The drought has made the zebras near Abyssinia desperate. The satyrs took advantage of it. You've heard it for yourself, and I can guarantee it's not a lie. And I'm not in on it. I wouldn't come this far just to get you all killed.>
There was silence for moments on end. King Leo's knees leaned inward toward each other, his body wobbling. The two were not used to such close calls. He'd dropped his scepter long ago upon learning what Fear had accomplished, all on his own. And the fact that they had pushed him to what could have certainly been his death. King Leo's voice cracked. <You said you have fought umbrans before, Fearei Shatter. Do you understand the magnitude of what you say?>
<Yes your majesty.> Fear confirmed with a nod.
<And you have lost the use of one of your legs. Yet you still wish to defend the zebras who have done this to you? You believe we can all just put this aside as easily as you have, and learn how to move past it? Has your life been in danger many times before?>
<Yes, your majesty.> Fear responded. <I have been through this many times. With raiders, with dragons, with changelings. In a way I am sure I have gone through it here, with you two as well.>
King Leo flinched visibly as if struck. Lisa's gaze skewed to the side. <Fearei Shatter. You are a wonder. To you it may seem like you haven't done much of anything at all, just been in our city for a few days. But to us it feels like you just one day popped up, shared your feelings with us, and then did the unthinkable after we had considered giving you over to the Enclave.> Leo looked up, his eyes were angry and tired. It was directed toward himself. Hooded eyes, lines under them. Some of his fur looked a little silver as if he'd aged a few years from learning how close he'd come to devastation, to being vaporized. <After all the Enclave has told us... to hear a wastelander defending an enemy. It is absurd.> Leo sat up, throwing his hands out. <I wouldn't believe it if it wasn't in front of me.> He leaned on his knees again. <Fear... we cannot normally let a potential fugitive go free. Examples must be made. But...>
Leo's lip trembled. <I think I already know where that would lead us. I cannot promise we will remain allies with the zebras, but we will not treat this as a declaration of war either. Your service to us has earned that much. Our champion's wishes should be upheld. Are you certain you have taken care of this threat... permanently? Fearei Shatter?>
<No.> Fear responded. <But I'm going to. I'm going after the satyrs next. They're not going to know what hit them. They're going to get their faces crushed into the ground. The zebras however, are taken care of. Seele is clearly a danger, and I do not think I can argue, nor negotiate with his passion no matter what I do. His heart is set, like King Solanum's was a few years ago.> He stiffened, standing up tall. <I appreciate you respecting my wishes. I know it must be hard. Forgiveness is a difficult aspect of life.>
King Leo couldn't help but smile forlornly. Queen Lisa merely closed her eyes, lower lip still quaking. <Fear,> Leo spoke, <your understanding is unnatural. I would suspect you were mentally damaged, if you did not seem so capable and... present. You are not even slightly bothered by your leg?>
<I am very bothered by my leg your majesty. Like, more than I can possibly explain. It's worse than my burn scar. I've literally lost the use of one of my appendages. I'm going to have to live around it, and I can no longer jump as well as I used to. It's going to impact my fighting style. Not only that but Zaya assures me I am going to experience phantom pains.> Fear squeezed his eyes shut and looked down at the ground. <There is no explanation for how infuriated I am. Nor how inconvenienced. This is going to be a terrible wound. But I've wounded others too. It is wrong of me to be hypocritical on that level. I imagine we have all done wrong by someone, and wished we'd done better. I'm not going to let myself do wrong by others anymore, even if I need to stake my life on it. I also don't like heavy emotions. You know?>
Queen Lisa spoke, finally. <Admirable. But unsustainable. However, you have earned our respect. Zaya, you may leave us. Fear. Please come here?>
Zaya didn't hesitate, turning around and proceeding out the door, followed by Erza, her face clouded by mane.
Fear watched them go, then put a hoof against his chest as if asking if they were sure, his face creased in concern, before walking up to the two thrones.
Standing between the two Abyssinians, standing tall under their glare even as his dead leg sagged behind him, Fear was surprised when Lisa stood up and sauntered over to him. “Hm??” His voice was confused on a whole other level.
Lisa knelt down, putting her paws on Fear's shoulders, and rubbed the cheek of her muzzle against the side of Fear's face like a la bise, but instead it was a double tap grind. The queen then pulled away, standing up. Fear just blinked numbly, not quite understanding what just happened, his jaw hanging open.
Leo stood up, made his way over to Fear, while Lisa sat back down. “You know enough about our customs, I do believe you understand what this is.”
Fear nodded dumbly as Leo bent over and rubbed cheeks with Fear, this time the untouched side. Their lips ground together similar to a side kiss, but Fear could tell chemicals were being left behind.
“Consider this our demonstration that we consider you one of us, Fearei Shatter,” King Leo spoke, before standing up and making his way back to his throne. “Do not let us down. And please, do come back eventually. Tell us how it went. Maybe give us a story. We've heard only good things about you and your party's presence in our city. Now... begone.”
Fear sat there, dazed. Before eventually nodding, doing everything in his power to not rub his cheeks clean with his hooves, and lethargically wandered out, hindleg dragging behind him, his hips occasionally waddling in order to get the hoof to plant against the ground like a lifeless cane.
Dinner that night at the Stoic household had been even better than the times before it. Not so much because it was tastier, though in some ways it was! It was more because Fear had... not so much proven himself with a giant feat, it barely felt like he'd done anything at all, but because he'd come out of a fight with thirty plus zebras with barely any injuries.
Aside from his leg.
Fear devoured the sticky, clumpy, steamy moist rice, saturated in syrupy, tangy orange sauce that had a salty bite to it and bits of parsley for a bitter balance. It stuck to his teeth and gums, painting his tongue, the chicken stock mixed in with it giving it a meaty, broth-y flavor. He chomped, chewed, and swallowed chunks of chicken breast right alongside it, slathered in thick, fruity, sour and sweet lemon zesty sauce that had heady undertones, spiced with garlic. It had all been a meal of victory, or at least that was how he chose to see it.
Gentler listened to Fear tell the story of what'd happened during the mission while they waited for dessert to be brought out, Fear piping up that he'd help clean up the kitchen and do the dishes tonight. It surprised everyone, some tried to talk him out of it, but Fear was stubborn and determined. He swore an oath that he'd help with the after-dinner mess like usual.
Clairity literally pushed him down in his seat, and placed a plate of dessert in front of him, bopped him on the snout, and tutted in his face. “Just enjoy the meal Fear, you've done enough. Otherwise I'm going to dump this in your lap.” And with that the queen headed back to the kitchen to get everyone else's plates.
Fear finally relented, and dug in, too distracted to really fight, getting a little huffy but smiling all the while. They really wanted him to relax huh? The dessert was apparently called pumpkin cheesecake lasagna. It was sugary, melty, a little chewy. Filled with tangy cream cheese, milky cream, vanilla pudding, pumpkin puree and spices, with a soft graham cracker base, mixed with clingy caramel and crunchy pecans that snapped under teeth.
Gentler put a paw on Fear's shoulder. “Fear I'm proud of you. You've become the hero I always wanted to be, and I see only good things in your future. I believe in you. You've saved my hometown.”
Fear stared at Gentler for a moment, his fork dropping out of his telekinesis and clattering on his plate. Before after a few moments he picked it up and continued stuffing his face, throwing all sense of manner out to the wind.
Most Abyssinians would eventually know what Fear had done, and like usual Fear would proclaim that anyone who worked hard enough could do it. With all the sincerity of a pony who believed in the goodness inherent within all hearts.
That night, Luna couldn't help but compare Fear to Twilight one more time, complimenting him on being just as smart as her. Fear, as usual, didn't feel comfortable with it, but accepted it anyway. His stubborn will was finally giving in.
If everyone wants to see me in all this positive light, who am I to tell them otherwise? Whether they're wrong or not doesn't matter. And maybe... they're not wrong. I've been working really hard.
Saway was a mess of laughter, and Nyx congratulated Fear on convincing the Abyssinians to spare their enemy.
Fear wanted to think of himself as special, but he knew down that road laid ruin. Sure he'd attained something not many others could, and that made him great. But anyone could attain it too. He was sure of that. It wasn't something he was born with. He had just been lucky, and his hard work had given birth the opportunity to prove himself in successive ways. The zebras might not’ve been at their strongest from not fighting magic users for decades, but that was okay.
What experiences would his next journey, fighting the satyrs, provide him with?
Days, nights passed. Fear relaxed for a couple of them, then he was off traveling across the Abyssinian countryside once more with his friends. But we don't need to focus on those boring everyday occurrences! Just the parts that matter.
Fear sat in the castle garden next to Saway, lifting a hoof and bapping it against her elbow. He was smaller than her after all. There was an ounce of discomfort in the air, as if Saway was considering her words carefully, eyes squinting, tail lazily sweeping back and forth as if something excited her. Her mulberry mane hung heavy over her eyes, silver fur glistening in the soft pale moonlight. “You've been undergoing a lot of close calls lately, Fear.” Saway's voice was quiet and raspy, a little concerned, but hidden behind a facade of confidence.
The young stallion shrugged a shoulder and looked at her. “Eh. I'm trying my best. Loved ones are my biggest weakness. If they're in trouble, I'm in trouble.”
Saway sneered, turning to glance at him with her rosy eyes. “You think they can successfully stay out of it?”
Fear lifted a forehoof and twirled it around. “I'm not sure to be honest. I believe in them. I've been teaching them shadow walking lately, and eventually I'm going to teach them even more.” His hoof settled back on the ground. “I'm mostly focusing on my own problems right now. Like the fact I deeply miss Abyssinian cuisine. I knew it'd happen but I didn't realize how much. Love is tasty but fuck. It doesn't compare to a flawlessly cooked meal. It's certainly better than wasteland food though.” He stiffened his forelegs and glanced down at the ground.
Saway burst out cackling like a lazy witch, holding a foreleg against her forehead and squeezing her eyes shut, face bursting into mirth. “Oh man, Fear. You have no idea what you're missing out on. Equestria used to be so good. If it weren't for some... traumatic events I'd experienced, I would've felt worse about having thought it was my destiny to destroy it!”
“Traumatic events?” Fear queried, leaning forward to look at Saway from ahead.
“Ye'h.” Saway murmured, bringing her hoof down, her face sobering, then souring, twisting up like she'd eaten a rotten apple. Her eyes were hooded, looking across the garden back to old times. She bowed her head, staring at the grass. “I'd rather not talk about it but...”
“You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Saway,” Fear comforted, holding up his forehooves defensively. “It's up to you in the end.”
“I know,” Saway murmured, looking up again with a steeled gaze. “I think I should talk about it though.” Her shoulders lifted in resignation, then fell as a breath escaped her lips. A pseudo breath. “My first coltfriend took advantage of me. Nothing that major. Nothing worth destroying the world over, I realize.”
Fear put a hoof on Saway's shoulder. “Don't minimize the trauma, S'way.”
“Hahaha,” Saway laughed bitterly. “It's been a while since anyone called me that, in that way. Hmm...” She wiped her snout with a hoof and took in a deep breath, an image to show she was calming herself. “It was awful. I'd rather not go into details, but... I killed him. My actions were ultimately seen to be self defense, when I was finally caught.” She adjusted her positioning. “I told your sister that I had chosen to go into the military, but that's not the full truth. It had been either that or go to prison for a few years. The reason why I owe my Princess of Death so much is not so much because she is a literal Princess of Death but because she aided me, destroyed my nightmares of trauma, of that day. She saved me.” There was a pause. “I learned that I'd shattered preconceptions of the justice system that day, and what guilty ponies were like, and what they could be capable of.” She shrugged. “I learned discipline in the military. As well as power the likes of which you've seen for yourself.” Another uncomfortable shift. “Thanks for listening colt.”
Fear nodded. “Anytime Saway. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I feel for you. I'm lucky. Every time sex has been on the table I was always able to choose it for myself. I was never forced nor coerced. Not everyone in the wasteland is so lucky.” His tail flicked. “It's not surprising, though disheartening to know that such savage behavior existed even before and during the war.”
Saway looked down to Fear with a raised eyebrow and smirk. “Where'd you think it came from? This stuff doesn't just appear out of nowhere colt. It's in our natures from the start. The ponies who wish to take command and control. The difference is, a lot of them go about it through publicly acceptable ways, such as forcing someone into bankruptcy... from your studies into history. I’m sure you know how it is by this point.” Saway leaned back and threw her forelegs up in defeat. “True peace does not exist, but there are vague simulacrums now and then of the ideal. Hard times create good equines, good equines create good times, and good times create weak equines. It's a fact of life that one day, as you've discovered with the Abyssinians, our descendants will eventually grow weak and incapable, fat off of their prosperity, if they are given a chance to have it.”
“But... that doesn't mean we...” Fear huffed. “Shouldn't strive to be... mh, better. Enact systems to make sure others are, haah, trained to be as strong as we were, even if it's not, ngh, street smarts book smarts are good enough sometimes.” He stomped a hoof on the ground, looking up at Saway.
“You're ri-” Saway glanced to Fear as the young stallion hissed and cringed inward. “What's wrong? Is it your leg?”
Fear nodded emphatically, kicking his dream leg out. It felt so real, the pain and the image of it. It was incredibly tense, to the point the muscle was aching like he'd pulled it in every single tendon. Fear collapsed to the ground and rolled over onto his back, holding his dream leg close to his body. He hissed again, grounding his teeth together. “S-sorry Saway. Just... having to deal with this right now.”
Saway nodded, before putting a hoof on Fear's belly and letting the Nightmares fused to her soul trickle into Fear, eating away that bit of his psyche that was causing him pain. Less the segment, and more the symptom.
Fear eventually relaxed, breathing raggedly and falling backwards, leaning against the ground. “Haah... haah... haah... thanks.”
Saway pulled her hoof away. “No problem. It'll help for now but it'll come back later, probably at an inconvenient moment.”
“Y-yeah. It has been while traveling. It completely incapacitates me, but I'm getting better at dealing with it slowly but surely.” Fear felt like his leg was throbbing, but he could no longer feel at all, even the dream construct. It hung limply against the ground. “I hate this experience. Literally the worst. It's like my body is traumatized and my brain welcomes the sensation even though I. Don't. Want. It.”
Saway nodded. “It be like that sometimes.” She stated while glancing ahead.
“Uuuuugh,” Fear droned out. “I hate this. Not only does everyone stare at me but this pain is bullshit.”
Saway hummed, looking down at him. “You're usually so stubborn about it though. I rarely hear you complain.”
“Yeah. I don't want anyone to know it's encumbering me. And I think I can use the leg brace to my advantage. I don't know. But sometimes it just really gets to me.” A sigh. “I'm going to go talk to Shaybna, Saway. I've put it off long enough but I gotta figure out what the new rune does now.” Fear stood up, his hindleg dipping and sliding against the ground lamely. “This sucks.”
“Did you consider asking the royalty of Abyssinia if they could give you a gemmed artificial leg to connect to your body?” Saway inquired.
Fear hesitated, turning around. “I thought about it, but there were two problems with that,” He responded, gritting his teeth and looking off to the side, gnashing slightly, pawing at the ground.
“Which is?” Saway asked, raising an eyebrow.
“One. I don't want to be a machine. That skeeves me out beyond belief. Though...” Fear paused. “I'd probably at least try to force myself to go through with the procedure if I could. There's a me out there who underwent a thaumic gland operation after all. But that leads to the second problem.” He huffed. “Zaya explained it wouldn't work anyway. My mind would be preternaturally confused, as she put it, on how to operate the machination if I could even figure out how to work it. And not only that but I'd still feel phantom pains from the old thing, like with creatures who lose a limb suddenly.” A pause. “So no go either way. It's dead for good. And at least if I keep it attached to my body I can use it like a cane sometimes to keep my balance if I move my body just right.”
“You'll get through it, Fear.” Saway stated, setting a hoof on Fear's shoulder. “I believe in you. Maybe ask Princess Luna how to stymie the pain with a dose of nightmares. They'll eat it for you. Or make it worse if you're not careful.” She shrugged a shoulder and smirked again, hoof facing the sky.
“Yeah, thanks. See you later Saway. Love ya.”
“Love you too, colt.”
And with that Fear left the area to go be alone and focus on the sword's presence next to his body. Call it to him.
“The rune is known as a Raidho, Fear.” Shaybna stated, lifting a hoof, her head tilting slightly, causing Fear's reflection in the mirror mask to distort. “It was originally crafted to allow for invisible scouting, akin to dreaming. A sort of temporary farsight. It causes your soul to diverge from your body for a few moments so that you can soar through the air and look further ahead, through walls, et cetera. I doubt you will explicitly need it, though maybe during the infiltration.” She set the hoof back down and cast her head to the side, the slits in the mask seeming to glint.
“My soul leaves my body for a moment?” Fear rubbed his chin with a hoof, humming and looking up and to the side. “Is that exactly it or is it more that it stretches? I need to know specifically so I know how best I can use it.”
Shayba looked to Fear with surprise. “What did you have in mind to use it for?”
“I have no idea yet, but I know if I tap into my cleverness I can come up with something special to use it for. So?” Fear prodded.
“It fills your body with a magical pulse that preserves your body, while your soul drifts away from it. But I do not have much magical potential infused inside of me yet, enough to warrant a heavy scouting. I could probably give you a bird's eye view of an area, or let you explore a room away from you, but that's about it until I need to recharge from your own magic.” Shaybna tilted her head. “Does that help?”
“Yes,” Fear determined. He set his hoof down and smiled. “I can feel the ideas percolating but I'm not one hundred percent sure yet. Thanks Shaybna.”
“You're welcome Fear. It’s a pleasure to be in your dreams with you. Even Saway did not think to do that.”
Fear bat a hoof. “I got the idea from Luna and Saway actually. I figured I could summon your presence, your wavelength, by calling out to you while you were close to me in reality. I'm becoming more capable. I can feel it.”
“You certainly are,” Shaybna said with an implied grin.
Luna paced in front of Fear, a worry contained within her gait. A nervous canter. Grit teeth, pulled back lips. Wary eyes. Alert body posture, nearly hypervigilant. “I have been successful so far in learning more about the Dormiens, but not enough to figure a way out to defeat them. I'm still thinking about it. It is taking all my strength to protect my little ponies, without allowing them to figure out where we are, and I fear any moment now my strength will waver and they will discover us.” She held her chin with a hoof, her body graceful and still, yet slumped. “They are like a virus growing more and more powerful the more they infect.”
Fear already knew what Luna had discovered. She'd told him. Apparently the Surreal referred to themselves as Dormiens, and, what seemed obvious in hindsight, were mutated umbrans seeking a way out of their prison through the dream world. They were certainly like a virus. Not only did they run rampant through the dream world it seemed, but one resided within the consciousness of every free umbran, giving to and taking information from it in order to maintain a communication network between all of them.
It was an incredible display of evolution for a species that already seemed to be at the top of the food chain, so to speak.
“Well if they're a virus, why not come up with some kind of antivirus? Some kind of inoculation or vaccine?” Fear leaned from side to side, a little perturbed by Luna's anxious energy, trying to keep calm despite the threat of danger right at their door.
“I can certainly try, but it's taking all my strength right now to fend them off just in general. I worry that if I do not keep holding them back they will bring despair to my little ponies in their dreams in order to siphon more energy. One way or another, we will have to be quick about finding whatever the key to destroying them for good is.” Luna murmured to herself, her lips moving silently.
“I'll try to help when I come around. Maybe if we meditate together we can figure out the wavelength or something.” Fear twirled a hoof. “For now though I had a question, before you bring Freiya to me.”
“Certainly Fear. Though I warn this is the last time I can do this for now. It's getting very... dangerous to bring other creatures here, right now. If one of the Dormiens go through the memories of someone who's had nightmares, someone who's been here recently, they may be able to find us. So this is the last time for now.”
“Sure, no problem,” Fear responded, waving a hoof. “I was curious, what do you know about souljars?”
“Not a lot, little Fear.” Luna paused, tapping a hoof against the ground a few times in quick succession. “I do know why they are so powerful though.” Fear asked why, and Luna answered. “All souls have a base identity deep within them that is temporarily overwritten when it comes into a body's life, from what I understand of zebra beliefs.” Fear had heard that much already. “It is the entrapment, and grotesque manipulation of that, and the unfulfilled, temporary destiny of one identity, never to be sated, that creates a sort of radioactive invincibility of whatever it is imbued in. Supposedly the power will wear off after many centuries, because entropy dictates that all physical things must fade with time, even a spirit's unnatural hold over an object.”
That made sense. And Fear knew from talking with Zaya that according to their beliefs, souls were masses of intelligent energy, thought given form. And it was not subject to entropy, but instead merely changed forms and grew stronger as intelligence was added to it, causing it to grow more dense, and transition between different colors. Zaya had seen fit to mention though, that the colors as they knew them were not concrete, at least the names for them weren’t. Colors just were. “Life just is. It is mortal creatures who try to impose limits and definitions on the world around them,” she had said. Zaya theorized that was one element of why decay existed in the first place. Mortal thoughts that all things must end.
Fear didn't know what to make of any of it, but he was sure somewhere in all of this was a way to defeat Seele, who he'd recently found out was...
A robot. Less a robot, and more a souljar. It was hard to comprehend that a satyr had not only had the idea to make himself into a robot, but to turn that robot into his souljar so that he could continue living... in an unusual way. Beyond normal death. In order to be rendered invincible.
This, Zaya had explained, was why Seele had encountered and harnessed an unnatural, undefeatable fate.
Fear was certain that if he was clever enough he could get through it. But just in case he was going to investigate Seele's lives in the Seer's Eye in order to look for a sure fire way to defeat him, beyond trapping him in the earth.
Which wouldn't work.
Seele's robot body was top of the line. Unless it was buried in the core of Equus like the dragons said Terra had done to the unnamed Dragonlord, there was no way he could be stopped forever.
Fear thanked Luna, and apologized for being so silent for so long, but he had a lot of thinking to do for his next confrontation. It was time to go explore the Seer's Eye with Freiya.
While Luna carefully extracted Freiya to bring her to the Princess’ dreambubble, Fear spoke with Discord.
The draconequus was wound around Fear like a python, gripping tight to his body, all four limbs resting against the small equine who was flopped down, hoping to whatever powers that be that his leg wouldn't start hurting again. All while his chin rested on Discord's belly, with their heads near each other. “So what,” Fear spoke, “was your power used for exactly? I don't know all there is to know about the past, and not everyone wants to tell me everything.”
Discord bopped Fear on the snout, making it wrinkle up. This wasn't reality though, so he didn't sneeze, just cross his eyes and wriggle his muzzle like a rabbit. “Magical, chemical weapons. Such things as that. Not really a big deal all in all.” He had a knowing tint to his voice, as if he knew where this conversation was going. As if he had read the script and was along for the ride.
“For someone who knows so much it's strange you didn't expect your power to be siphoned, and hide away some of it just in case.”
Discord just smiled, cocking his head to the side and lazily leaning against his equine comrade. “Who says I didn't, Fear?”
“If you did you would have taken it back already wouldn't you?” Fear sounded lost. It didn't seem... logical. But then he realized: Discord wasn't logical. He wouldn't take the power back either way. “Nevermind forget it.”
“No – no, you have a point. Why didn't I take it back? Follow your train of thought Fearei.” There was a sumptuous grin on his face and in his voice.
“Hmm... well... I would imagine, knowing you, you did it so you wouldn't impact the world as much. Maybe there was a reason? The power tainted you. And that's why you got rid of it.”
“Bing bing bing!” Discord clapped his hands, keeping the transformations and clones to a minimum. Not that he wasn't inclined to do it to tease Fear, and because he knew Fear liked it, but because he was tired and just wanted to relax. Besides, that's what everyone expected of him and expectations were no fun! “I hid some of my power, originally, in the Everfree Forest, but it ended up becoming part of the radioactive taint that haunts it to this day. So all my thorny vines are just laying around mixing in with the altered Killing Joke and everything else that makes that place a breeding ground for violence and bloodshed.” He stroked through Fear's mane lethargically, head stiff, his eyes narrowing slightly, knowing what was coming next. This was Fear after all. He knew his mind well enough by now.
“Hmm... but that doesn't make sense. Someone like you wouldn't use just one potential source. You'd have multiple artifacts laying around, not just some kind of seed. And come to think of it... I guess the reason why you didn't take that power back is because you wanted someone to overcome the Everfree someday.”
“Exactly!” Discord leaned against Fear with his entire body, constricting him. “Secret between you and me Fear, but I used to also be known as Grogar once upon a time.”
“Oh?” Fear teased.
“Yes. You know very little about him, but he was an intense threat to the three pony tribes back when they first settled in Equestria.” Discord had a light simper on his face, a purr in his voice.
“You talk about him in the third person. Which means he's not like you. Or you're not like him.” Fear wisely concluded.
“You're right. You catch on fast, as usual. Grogar was confronted by Gusty the Great eons ago.” Discord swept a claw and twirled it around. “His power and personality was banished to a little old bell, a magic concealing artifact, hidden away in the mountains. He was a malicious segment of my personality because he didn't know how to get what he wanted. I, Discord, escaped from that with some of my powers remaining. And chose to leave the bell behind because I was, for one, happier this way. Still... back before the war I was malicious, I suppose, I'd gone overboard at times.” Discord was about to think of an excuse, because that's how he felt at the time and no one expected it.
No one but Fear at least. Fear shushed him, able to feel where he was going. “Don't worry about it.” Fear let his eyes fall shut. “I know where you're coming from. It's hard to make friends, especially when you're damaged by power or anything else really. Power corrupts, and there's nothing more powerful than something next to omniscience or chaotic abilities.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I think a part of you deep down knew you'd be better off if you gave in to the ones trying to defeat you, whenever that time came.”
“Nothing quite so dramatic Fear,” Discord cooed. “I legitimately did not expect all those ponies to put a stop to me. Sure I made... concessions on the off chance it did happen. But I do not know everything. Everyone surprises me occasionally, especially you. But... that's why I was so defensive when I said you couldn't prove anything else. Think of Grogar like... a dead name. A name that no longer means anything to me, because it is no longer me. I would only use it on the off chance I needed to manipulate events on a grander scale.”
Fear nodded. Seeing the world destroyed could make even Discord realize he needed to do more, he was sure. The two could sort of read the sentiment together.
“Watching you has inspired me, a little bit. But you're not done yet,” Discord finished.
“What are you like in bed, Discord?”
Discord huffed, rolling his eyes. “Feeling horny are we? You should know I'm far past your age range!”
“Not like that's ever stopped us from flirting in the past.”
“They haven't seen all of our flirtations.”
“There's 'them' again. But I think I know what you mean.” Fear stretched his forelegs out until they quivered from the strain, the idea starting to come to him. “Hmmg! Life is like a story. We are just characters in a play, as my Dad would say. All of this has meaning. Am I close?”
“Your enlightenment knows no bounds,” Discord deadpanned. “But in all seriousness, if you really want to know, I can't bed anyone in anywhere but dreams nowadays.”
Fear considered it, tilting his head to the side. “Acrid's taught me to live a little. I'd like to play around with you sometime. See what a demigod does for fun. So long as you don't pull any rubber chickens on me and honk them during our joyful times.”
Discord lifted an eyebrow, his body undulating around Fear. “Might as well just call it what it is, Fear.”
“You know. I'm thinking.”
“Always a bad sign,” Discord mumbled.
“Yeah, you and me both,” Fear retorted. “But anyway.” He continued before Discord could interrupt. “Maybe someday, in a few years if I'm still alive after all this, I can go ahead and gather up that bell for you so you can regain some of your lost power, if there's a bigger reason you can't.”
Discord hummed in uncertainty. “I don't need you to, thank you though little colt.”
Fear shrugged his shoulders again and pulled his lips back into a resigned snarl. That also meant his deduction might've been incorrect. “Your loss. Though... I must say. You've been unusually open tonight.”
“You've earned the right to know a bit of my history Fear. You've not only earned my trust, but you've shown you're capable in many ways. Besides, it won't affect your journey in any negative way. What kind of friend would I be if I interfered like that?”
Fear hummed. “For me, and for my audience, you wouldn't be a very good friend at all.” My audience must have really bad taste if they think I'm entertaining.
Discord bapped Fear on the head. “You stop that this instant. Stop insulting them!” He chortled. “Not that I can complain.”
The two laughed together, and then spoke about what they'd do to each other if they got a moment alone. A little teasing never hurt anyone.
Svit, one of the many dormiens that hung out in the Liminal Space, had been infesting Freiya's dream. He was hidden in the corner of Stable 47's metal framework, crawling through the ducts that the mare had no idea existed yet knew should, waiting for the right moment to gorge his talons into the bubble and make everything go completely downhill. He hid his entire presence with the sensation of death as Freiya relaxed with the construct of her ex-husband, none the wiser to what she was going to go through. It was relaxing, and that was what this dormien preyed on.
All he had to do was wait until a specific moment, right when they were about to procreate – and they would – then glitch things the tiniest bit, bringing in the memory of her mother, catch her naked, and proceed from there. Svit had a whole plan laid out before him, just waiting to siphon her growing despair.
Only it wasn't meant to be. The spindly scarab crossed with a flayed skeletal pony, one of many shapes the dormien took on, watched from the vents as an unknown made itself known from inside the wall. Seeping from it, making the metal ripple like it was made of jello or sludge. It was Luna! Svit leaned closer into the grating, narrowing its empty, dead eyes at the situation going on. There was a conversation, one that Svit didn't really care about, and then Freiya was suddenly whisked away.
Svit had a few options right now, as he chittered in the empty dream bubble. He could wait for it to implode from not having a consciousness and then follow Luna, risking getting killed before he could find her hideout. Or he could use one of their new mutations to locate her. The mandibles covering his face clicked together wildly.
The choice was obvious.
Svit dug his talons into the dreambubble, causing the entire thing to be overtaken in glossy, blurry spiderweb cracks made of a dark energy. He jerked, adjusting himself, and let the lingering memories flow into him. Memories of who Freiya was, exactly, memories of her life, memories of her intelligence, and images of her short term memory. Both within dreaming and without. The equine beetle shook like a facehugger quivering before going dead, his eyes widening, empty pupils dilating, and lips scrunching up. He leaned forward as more information passed into him, tracing back the memories as far back as he could reach. This was Freiya's consciousness, her creation, and thus there were lingering remnants of her. The idea was that she'd likely been brought with Luna before. This was probably not an isolated incident.
The despair bug, the virus, smiled blindingly bright, his eyes having pupils and not irises. He shuddered like he was having an orgasm from the sheer power of the knowledge at his talon tips, and released it.
Dreambubble imploded.
Svit was left alone in the Liminal Space, floating in nothingness.
There was a moment of silence, before his body throbbed, its legs skittering as it glided toward the way its absorbed memories dictated. As its thorax rumbled, silent echoes rippled from its corpse-like body like a glitchy sonar pulse, radiating outward in the form of fizzy glass cracks made up of overly saturated clown vomit hues. The pulse scattered outward through the entire void, going faster than the speed of light, at the speed of thought.
The attack would begin soon. Svit rocketed through the Liminal Space to meet up with his comrades and dive into Princess Luna's bubble.
Luna had been certain she'd been safe. But something had gone wrong. While Fear and Freiya were away scouring the Seer's Eye, it had started with the nightmare-like throbbing of the dreambubble's shell. Changing to a rosey red, dimming to a claxon crimson. Luna had felt it before she'd seen it, and inevitably Luna, Saway, and Amelio were on alert.
It wasn't long before they were fighting. Various glitching monstrosities, far outnumbering the group, barged into the dream bubble, slipping between the cracks, melting out of thin air from the walls and the floor, making everything tremble and tremor... there was no end to them. Luna called back every single one of her mirror images, collecting her power into herself and spreading it out, having each of them carve swords. Made not of dreamkiller, but of actual nightmares that could eat away the psyche of anything. Saway became the shadowed monstrosity that had fought Amelio long ago, but far more powerful, cleaving through apparitions and using her ability to predict their movements on a congenital level in order to sweep and dance her way through many of them. They were not empaths after all, even if they could hide their intent in a mask of death and null. Amelio meanwhile was vulnerable, but she was an asset in the fight. She used her unnatural peace to heal the psyche wounds the glitches inflicted on her family so that their bodies would not fall prey to venoms nor lacerations.
It was macabre.
A chaotic three versus many, with Luna and her reflections maintaining the fight within Amelio's aura, and Saway taking her viciousness to a whole other level, letting loose war cry after war cry as she gashed, slammed, and dashed through enemy after enemy, the only one who felt courageous enough to put her life on the line and only come back to Amelio's radiance when she knew she could no longer fight, in order to recover.
It was a brutal massacre, and killing the glitching beasts didn't seem to put a stop to them. If anything they seemed to be getting stronger, reading their opponents and learning from them like a virus, realizing how to get around their defenses and overcome their offenses. They became apparitions of times long past, of creatures once thought to be close to the three. Amelio was barely affected, keeping her inner sanctity, while Saway occasionally hesitated, but not in any meaningful way. Luna however was the most sentimental of them, causing her to freeze up, her mirrors coming to her defense and blasting them away with violent high-powered laser spells and slashes of her swords.
Even the Starlight Shredder did not do enough to take them out. Wave after wave constantly coming, sometimes dwindling to the point they found hope renewed, only for it to be stolen away as more surged forth, seeming to take strength from their constant uphill battle.
Despair was growing.
Where was Fear and Freiya?
The battle lasted minutes, an hour. The three fought valiantly, with Amelio calling upon Fate itself to extend her reach, to send bolts of Ameliorate Reverie at her allies in order to fuse them with the spell of reparation. Even Ame was slowly growing dull and tired, not having a body that would continue refilling her mind.
Luna slacked.
Saway grew laggard.
Fear appeared in the fray with a scream, bringing all that he could to try and cleave his way through the creatures, only able to throw them off of himself before they could sink their razor sharp teeth in. A roll, a somersault, kicking one off. Punching one in the face, Bucking another in the chin. Slamming apart limbs and caving in faces. None of it seemed to work. Fear ducked into Amelio's bubble.
There was a cacophony of relief that he was back. Luna called out for Nyx to come retrieve them during the battle, so that they could move. But they needed to get back to the treasure, hidden in the obscurity of mental shadows, and take it with them. Saway twirled and barreled through creature after creature, renewed sense of vigor filling her as she swept from side to side, dancing with her claws and Nightmare body to protect her family like the warrior and knight she had been in life. Fear explained over the din that he'd already forced Freiya to wake up when he'd realized the dream bubble was in danger. He'd felt something off, and had not had the time to find out a method to destroy Seele, so he would have to work on trial and error.
Luna didn't have time to comfort him, doing everything in her power to protect their little field as they awaited Nyx's airdrop.
Fear aided the two as much as he could, showing extensive bravery in the face of certain peril, showing off his growing ability to fight while predicting movements with instinct rather than a sixth sense. Luna pushed herself to her limit as the four of them slowly retreated further into the dream construct surrounding them, pulling on the power of the liminal space and the far away dream bubbles, making everything shatter inward on itself, waking creatures up from their sleep. It would be a day forever remembered as the moment when no one was able to get back to sleep for hours – those who were scheduled to sleep at that time. Luna also pulled on the power of hypnagogic space, the realm between sleep and waking, trying with all her might to strengthen the four of them with magical powers beyond their normal means.
High powered energy lasers, plasma swords, enhanced shadow walking, and so many other things at their disposal. Saway had the easiest time of it, slipping into the nooks and crannies of everything, like a beast there was nothing she couldn't tear through as she leaped from spot to spot, dispersing glitches like it was nothing.
Still they ran rampant.
Eventually they'd succeeded in getting to the treasure room, slipping through the crack that was the bastion of light in a world of shadows, a sun in a world of void.
Nyx was waiting for them. As the door was slammed shut, a final remaining firewall to keep them out, the four discussed their options.
They had to move to the moon. There was no other way.
It would take an egregious amount of Nyx's magic to move all four of them, and not only that but he would have to occupy Fear's body from now on with part of himself whenever Fear went to sleep and came back to the moon. But he could do it. He was a self taught empath wizard. He'd trained all his life for this, millennia ago. The room vibrated, rocking and quaking as Nyx let out a transcendental scream, his green eyes whitewashing as he summoned forth the power of a mass teleportation megaspell. A mental one, rather than a physical one, to bring not only multiple consciousnesses but also a ritual-based spell created by Luna.
One second they were waiting with bated breath inside a dream bubble that was slowly crumbling from the outside in, and the next second there was a pinch of a pop...
And they were on the moon. Far away from Equus.
Nyx was panting, or at least that’s how most interpreted it. Fear ran around, his body sluggish in the nil gravity. Luna checked on Saway, Amelio took some time, hoof pressed against her chest, trying to calm herself down. The vibrations in her body were excited, exacerbated. So were the awareness of the other four. Everyone was on the verge of dispersing.
“That was wild!” Fear screamed. “Are we really going to be safe here?”
Nyx nodded. And then sat back on his haunches, holding his forelegs up in the air. “Nightmares of the Moon! Heed my call! Protect us from the threat that wishes to extinguish us all!” Nyx slammed his hooves into the sun washed dirt, his draconic eyes glowing as shadows from the dark side of the moon swarmed to his beck and call, surging over them and wrapping them up.
It would be known by those who did not have cloud cover, as the day the moon eclipsed itself. In the middle of their cratered bastion laid Luna's treasure, keeping three of the five alive and stable, maintaining their forms and preventing them from scattering to the wind, to the afterlife.
Unnatural, but necessary for now, Fear thought. The time to die was not yet.
The five murmured to each other, discussing next steps.
“Well, on the bright side,” Luna cooed, “I no longer have to worry about making the difficult decision of either protecting my little ponies or focusing on whatever this antivirus I must create is.” She shrugged her shoulders, her desiccated form phasing a few times as her treasure's altered placement caused the frequency to shift slightly. “On the dark side,” she reluctantly added, “No one's going to have peaceful dreams until this can get figured out. No one but Fear here.”
Fear huffed, sitting on his haunches and crossing his forelegs. “I love the moon and all, love the view, but this isn't my idea of a good time either. But I suppose it's better than being constantly siphoned. I wish I could bring my family here, take care of them. But I know just keeping my body maintained while my consciousness is so far away is a burden on Nyx's mind.”
Nyx murmured his agreement. “I wish I could do it too, Fear, but I am not that powerful anymore. Your family will just have to do without a good night's sleep for now.”
Fear shuddered. Amelio glared at the ground silently. “This is unfortunate, but there's nothing we can do for now. We've lost. But there is still hope. If Luna can figure out how to cast the Dormien away permanently we can still pull victory from the jaws of defeat.”
Saway sighed. “I wish I could do more, but... I suppose we're all relying on Luna now.”
Fear pumped a hoof in the air. “Keep your spirits up guys! We'll be returning to our home before we know it. It's not like Luna has anything else to do but constantly work to figure this out. I have faith in her. She's a powerful hypnomancer, and with Nyx helping her now, I'm sure, we can overcome this.” He paused.
“Besides. Saway can also help. She and Nyx have the nightmares at their disposal to do some scouting. They can figure out what all the Dormien have in common, and we can use that to slam dunk them into oblivion.” Fear slammed a hoof into the other. “So keep your spirits up okay?”
Everyone managed a small smile. Only Amelio was the one who kept silent and neutral, at peace.
Luna spoke after a moment. “Even if I do manage this, we will not be able to cast a spell with enough strength to push back this... virus, without magical aid.” She shook her head. “I am not sure I have that kind of power. I may need to sacrifice my treasure in order to cast it. I will have to die.”
Fear shook his head. “Nah. I have an idea on how we can avoid that.” He stomped a hoof on the ground.
“Even with all of us together, most of us are, in some way, shape, or form, dead. We do not have the body required to pull off that kind of magical power, even with you Fear. Unless...”
The young stallion smiled, twirling a hoof. “Yes. Exactly. It's a long shot, and it's incredibly unreliable. But it might work. With all of us together, and my Fearshatter spell, we might have a chance. We just need to figure out how to unlock it.”
Nyx shook his head. “That is not a spell to take lightly. It cannot be controlled. It is controlled by your environment, not by you.”
Maybe Discord knows how to pull it out of me? Fear thought.
Saway held up a hoof. “We've known you for a few years now Fear, even though it feels like longer. I'm sure all of us, with our intense connections to you, can figure out how to harness that power. It shouldn't be that difficult. If it is based on your environment, then surely we, as your environment, can yank it out.” Saway was as vicious and raspy as ever.
Fear smiled brightly. “We have a lot of options at our disposal. Don't let the Dormiens think they've won, because if we do, not only will the Umbrans gain the power they need to escape, but so will the Dormiens grow more powerful than we can stop. We got this, team, okay?” Fear stood up on all fours, his hindleg on the verge of flaring up.
Amelio spoke, finally. “Fearei is right. Together we can put a stop to this. That is where our magic and power lies. Do not give up hope yet.”
The five of them cheered into space and dispersed to be alone with their own thoughts. Everyone but Fear anyway. Fear knew he couldn't leave them alone, so he approached them one after another, starting with Luna.
“Hey Luna,” Fear chirped next to the desiccated corpse-ish form that was the powerful mare. “How you holding up right now? I don't want you alone with your thoughts. Focusing on how they found us, so on and so forth.”
“You are kind, Fear,” Luna responded, looking down at him. Though it felt more like she was looking up. “Though it might be better for me to be alone to ruminate. I promise I will not brood. Besides, I'm not looking to the past anymore, just the future.” She pulled out a small, tight smile. “Since you're here I suppose I should mention... it's strange being back on the moon. Even if not physically. Both times I've had Nyx by my side to comfort me, but this time I am more comfortable and sure of myself. I know what I must do to get off, and this time I do not need my sister's help to get free.” She shrugged her shoulders and glanced back at her companion. “There are a lot of fluctuating emotions inside of me, as I'm sure you can feel. From the passion of a mission, the nostalgia of a place I spent many years, all the way to the regret I have of not having been better, and the sorrow of being back at square one, in a lot of ways. But there is also happiness amidst it.”
Fear just prodded her to continue.
“Happiness that I have come so far, and in some ways have so much more than I could have ever imagined. In a lot of ways, it is thanks to you. I have a new purpose, one I can have fun with and feel fulfilled doing. I think it is that emotion, primarily that drives me to fight the Dormien.”
“Not going to let those fuckers take away what you rightfully earned, huh Luna?” Fear simpered, eyes lidded.
“No, Fear, I am not going to let those sards take what is rightfully mine. You would do well to have the same kind of intensity from here on out.”
“Eh,” Fear shrugged. “It'd be good, but I gotta take a laid back approach sometimes so as not to commit anymore sins.”
“True,” Luna commented. “But if you regress and forget the boundaries you learned to establish over the past few years, you will not feel truly free, like you can do anything. It requires a careful balance, one I am sure you will learn. So.” Luna paused. “To the future, correct?”
Fear beamed up at her and nuzzled into her side. “To the future, Princess.”
“Later,” Luna continued, “I will attach your consciousness to the moon so you return here later whenever you sleep. I will need Nyx's help with it.”
And with that Fear nodded and made his way over to Saway.
“Hey Nightmare's Way. You did an incredible job back there. I could only wish to be as ruthless as you.”
Saway grinned and guffawed, her body facing Equus as well. They could see Abyssinia from here. “You're one to talk. I saw you out of the corner of my eye in there, colt. You fought your way to us magnificently. Your growth only astounds me more each time we encounter each other. You'd be a ruthless enemy on the battlefield yourself.” She poked Fear in the side, making him grin and giggle.
“Eh. It's nothing much. Just a bunch of hard work. I've seen how you guys have rushed to keep up with me.”
“So you're finally starting to accept our compliments eh? That's good. Took you long enough.” Saway did something she wasn't normally prone to do and wrapped a foreleg around Fear, pulling him in close to her side. The contact felt good for both of them. Saway was a little uncomfortable because of her past traumas, but those were minimal compared to how she felt right now, especially after the high of a good fight. “Speaking of growth, it's nice to see you learning you don't always need to be a perfectionist and in control of everything around you.”
“Why's that?” Fear asked, looking up at her with his Canopus-like eyes.
“From what I knew of Twilight.”
Ugh, comparing me to Twilight again, Fear thought. Oh well.
Saway continued, “that was a lesson she'd had a hard time learning, and I'm not fully certain she ever did,” she rasped. “The few times I was around her, Twilight would get nervous and anxious about the little details because she felt she needed to be perfect in everything she cared about deeply, that she always had to be in control of the little details, and it caused her to have a lot of inner turmoil.” Saway shrugged. “It was difficult for her to learn how to delegate sometimes, especially with her higher end goals.”
“You're good at reading ponies, with or without empathy,” Fear noticed.
“You gotta when you're a skilled knight, runt.” Saway grinned in her voice as she looked down at Fear. “Now get going. I can tell you're checking on all of us. You don't have to worry about me. I feel like I'm living the dream. I get to be trapped on the moon, temporarily, with my Princess of Death like she was centuries ago. It's a nice feeling, being part of history like this. I never would have expected it.”
“Hah, in that case I'll move on.” Fear pulled away and bapped Saway in the shoulder, before heading over to Nyx who was looking out on the expanse opposite Equus, meditating.
“Hello Fear,” Nyx warmly welcomed. “You know, you've become so good at it maybe you should try to negotiate with the Dormien and Umbrans instead of fight them.” The humor in Nyx's calm, sedate voice was palpable. Like the slow current of a river polishing the small rock bed under it.
“Eh. I wish I could. While there are good umbrans out there, I don't think I have the required ingredients necessary to talk them down. Though, just because they're predisposed to evil doesn't mean they have to be. I’m sure I'll find more over time. We'll see what comes of it.”
“Naive. Optimistic. I like it,” Nyx purred. “You're right, no creature is born evil. It is ultimately what they choose to be with their life, when the clarity finally hits them, that decides their destiny. Whether they use their special talent for destruction, or creation, or some gray matter in between. You've learned well from me, even if you can’t orate quite as well.”
“I'll get there in time,” Fear assured with a chirp. “How are you holding up after all this?”
“It is... uncomfortable to have so many presences by my side after so long spent on my own up here with just the nightmares. However it is not unpleasant. It is nice to share a home with those I consider family, with those I can trust not to hold heavy emotions over my head. I trust all of you, and I look forward to the day all of you can leave and I can welcome your presence as I feel like I want to. How do you feel about this, Fear?”
Fear shrugged. “I'm content. Confident. Brave. I feel like we can pull this off. Even if I have to think hard, I've learned to trust in my own skills. I've died a couple times, lost multiple times in various ways, in the small things and the big things. But that's fine. I'm learning I don't need to be in control all the time, even with the things I care about.”
“That's some real growth,” Nyx stated simply. “You're on your way to embracing your destiny. I believe in you. Good luck, Fearei Shatter. Maybe someday you'll be more successful than I was in your endeavors.”
Fear waved a hoof. “Thanks Nyx, but success isn't everything. So long as I just try.”
Nyx hummed. “Wise words. Now go to Amelio. I sense she has some choice words for you.”
“I do too. See you later Nyx,” Fear replied, and headed off to go to the young mare who sat in the center of them all.
Amelio's eyes popped open and followed Fear, the ellipticals around her pupils trained on him. As he drew closer, she simpered, tilting her head to the side. When he was close enough, she spoke for only him to hear. “The fate of the world is in your hooves right now, Fear. You've come this far, earned the right to carry it on your shoulders.”
Fear rolled his eyes and smiled, sitting next to her.
“But you shouldn't be concerned, though I can tell you're not. Whatever must happen, will happen. You have your friends there to guide you, for you to delegate tasks to. And you must never forget that.”
“Yeah, part of my growth is apparently learning to trust others with the things I care about.” Fear tossed his hooves into the air and wrapped Amelio up in his embrace, though it looked awkward seeing as she was bigger than him by about a head. “Why are you so calm about all this anyway? You don't seem like you're... confident. In the same way I am.”
Amelio merely shrugged a shoulder and batted her eyelashes. “I know all the ways this can play out, and how both insignificant and meaningful this all is at the same time. In the grand scheme of things, there will be more opportunities, in other realities, in other existences. Things will always work out in one timeline that didn't work out in another. I am at peace with the haves, and have nots, because they all serve a purpose, and all are important and meaningless at the same time. You would do well to remember that even the worst times serve a special purpose, even if you cannot immediately see it. I know you see importance in even the smallest cog in the machine of life, how it serves a grander purpose, but you should also try to see the same thing in the events that take place around us. The things we cannot control.”
Fear hugged Amelio and mumbled into her coat. “I'll try.” He paused. “I should go get Nyx and Luna to cast that spell on me now. I don't want to be harassed by the Dormien when I go back to sleep. They might try to kill me for good.”
“Go for it, Fear,” Amelio stated simply. “Be the brave stallion... mare... whatever you want to be, that I know you can be.” She looked down at him and kissed his forehead.
Fear bristled pleasantly and headed off. It was time to get to work.
The ground was an orange-ish beige and it extended far beyond any reasonable length, covered in a variety of litho chunks, all shapes and sizes. The squad tread through his expanse, beyond the rims of a rainforest, exotic trees hanging over the vibrant mossy and loamy soil behind them until it seeped into what could be misconstrued as sand. Hanging high above the clear sky was vivid starlight, little twinkling lights of varying colors speckled like holes in a canister, some bigger than others. Constellations ran rampant, some more detailed than others, interspersed between other celestial phenomenon. The moon itself was invisible. Fear had explained to his squad why, and the fact that Nightmares had consumed the lunar rock was distressing to all of them, even if it was merely to protect nightly bodies from the Dormien. There were no birds, no owls hooting. No vibrations echoed in the air except for greaves traipsing across dusty dirt and hooves cantering along the dithered soil. They were more than five miles out from the rock farm they needed to locate, and Fear knew what to expect. He may not have infiltrated anything superior like a base before, but he knew to be on the lookout for snipers.
There was a reason he'd learned how to use the Raidho rune during their travels.
Fear pulled his sword out from the sheathe, bearing it before him. His family stopped behind him and waited. They couldn't see the base on the horizon but that would soon change.
After a moment, as Fear's eyes fell shut, he summoned the power of the Raidho and let his spirit funnel outward from the sword, his magic filling his body. It and the power of Shaybna kept his body stiff and firm except for the dead leg which was pinned against the ground behind him like a cane.
Everything became vivid and intense, colors seeming more real, clarity paramount. He surged along the dirt, moving space around him via thought alone. It was a magical experience akin to dreaming, only he felt more alive than ever. If anything he felt free of his body, completely and wholly, not even feeling its flaws.
Energy mines dotted the ground below him, most insufficiently covered. At the base proper, a fortress wall surrounded the rock farm with standard parapet rim, and a pair of towers protected the entrance to the interior. The entrance was a large slab of metal that could only be hoisted by a switch on the towers, not that they needed the door opened to get inside. There were spotlights on the four corners that cast out in every direction, onto the floor below and onto the interior.
The walls zoomed in further, and as Fear's spirit rose up into the sky, spiraling around the fortress, he saw a rather simple scene laid out before him. Snipers were indeed placed in the towers. Pretty standard equipment on them. The armored satyrs were being lazy, not quite snoozing but not paying attention to their post either. They'd be able to see them pretty easily if something alerted them. He wasn't sure if there was a way to get his illusions to stretch that far, so it'd be difficult to approach if the enemy managed to catch wind of them. No one was supposed to know the satyrs were here, so it didn’t matter. Not even the Abyssinians knew they were here. The only ones who'd be coming were the zebras, and they weren't scheduled for another week. The minefield would make for the worst obstacle, but Fear was sure he could handle that so long as he didn't drop to the ground holding his limp leg. His keen sense took in more. He could hear the buzzing of the intense lighting rimming the corners, and he could see more guards patrolling the walls up above. They carried what looked to be repeater rifles with thick, triangular barrels and a blocky cartridge slot that one could confuse for a magazine holder.
Fear's soul looked closer at the interior. There were rocks everywhere, mostly huge ones. A lot of them split open. Some satyrs were busy using plasma tools to cut into them and carve out chunks of lustrous gems to carry off to some complex machinery further back. Zaya had explained that they were a key material to the weapons they used, and a component of the soul engine the satyrs had created. They contained the yanked out soul energy of plants, animals, and most valuable, sentient creatures. After compilation they'd be dumped into what amounted to a fusion core in order to separate it all and churn it into fuel. Acrid had told Fear of a story that used a similar mechanic of the planet's life force acting as fuel for a major corporation.
Inside the rock farm was also a huge pit that led deep underground. Zaya had explained they were not only mining for gems, but also fossils for the residual soul smearing in it. Souls always left behind some level of energy taint and the satyr's technology had grown strong enough to utilize it.
Spanning across the far side of the compound were hastily made train tracks, shoddily made, but that wasn't what caught Fear's attention. It was, as Zaya had called it, the Untergäng. A train made for the downfall of an entire species and anyone who rose up against their overlords. Fear's soul cringed at the sight. It was intense, sleek, with potent armor plating that put what the satyrs were wearing to shame. On its back was the engine, with the top of it having a pair of jet thrusters. The front of the train was angular, sharp. Built for aerodynamics. Fear knew why. There was a train bridge leading to Equestria from here, but it had been destroyed in the middle long ago by the Enclave to keep creatures in. The thing was... the soul engine would make it so regular tracks weren't needed, but it would take up a lot of energy.
The satyrs themselves were made up of blues, blacks, and whites. Long, shaggy fur, bulky figures, terrible curved horns, covered by a helmet and armor that could take a beating and keep on kicking. But Fear didn't see Seele anywhere, or at least no one matching Seele's description, nor did he see Zetta the umbran, and obviously neither did he sense its presence.
Fear's soul headed back to his body once he was done examining the interior, already planning their next move. He shumpfed back into his body, his eyes blinking a few times blearily like he'd just woken up from a nap. His head felt thick and heavy for a few moments before everything reintegrated fully and he stood up tall, having been slumped over before.
Acrid was the first to speak. “So? Find any solutions on how to get in?”
Fear just smiled keenly, puffing out his chest. “Yeah. Hey Faith,” She looked at him with rapt attention. “You remember when you asked during your guys' lessons if you could keep yourself half in, half out of the shadows?”
Faith tilted her head to the side, before her eyes lit up. “You really think we can keep that maintained?”
Fear nodded. “We don't have a choice.” He cast his gaze to each of them. “We're all going to have to do our best to keep partway in, partway out because there's a scattered minefield up ahead and I don't know exactly how many there are. This is just the first phase of the infiltration, so we can't get cold hooves right now.” He wiped a hoof across his snout and stomped. “You guys ready for this? We don't have any second chances so failure this time means we're dead meat.”
Gentler lifted a claw and grinned. “I think we got this Fear.”
Fear smiled simply, pulling his forelegs together and cocking his head to the side, smile seeping into his closed eyes. “Then let's get to work. If we're careful and we don't make a sound, the snipers there hopefully won't notice us. This is going to be partly luck, partly skill.” He spun around, and prepared himself, hoping to Fate and Minuette that his leg wouldn't start hurting during this. His heart hammered in his chest. “Follow my lead, squad.” And with that Fear let himself sink a few inches, his hooves merging into the shadows under the starlit ground, dimmer given the moon was hidden. The others did the same, with some degree of success and difficulty. Gentler had it perfect. Faith, who wasn't used to using magic, ended up going a little overboard and putting herself down against her barrel just about, while Acrid took a few moments to rise and fall before getting the dip just right. All four subsumed their gear in shadows, attaching them to their bodies so, even if it took up a bit of effort, it'd keep them near weightless.
And with that the squad zoomed across the ground like melting ice being drained down a slope. A silent, careful movement.
As they went, Fear went about pumping illusions out of himself in order to give his squad the idea of their plan of attack. Detailed illustrations with visual hallucinations. It was over as soon as it started, and they all had a pretty good idea about their roles.
The fact that neither of the four slipped up during their minutes long glide was a testament to their skill, as well as Fear's natural teaching prowess and cleverness that he'd inherited from his mother. It helped that all four of them had experience meditating and controlling their bodies or magic to an extreme degree.
It felt like an eternity getting to the walls. One of the four dispersed from the group – it was Fear. The other three popped completely out of the ground and tread silently toward the entrance, hugging up against the wall. All while Fear merely slipped completely into the shadows and stretched out his body, finagling it to glide between the cracks of the spotlights, and then race swiftly up one of the towers, the one on his right.
Scaling the wall was easy. There was a sense of vertigo as his shadow slid across concrete, or whatever this was. He flipped over the railing, surged up the satyr's body, and wrapped the enemy in a choke hold. Fear had four options. He could snap the neck with telekinesis and strength, he could throw them off the side and let their death come from a plummet, he could bring them to dream land with a choke hold, or he could bring his sword out of the shadows and knock him out. The problem was, a choke hold knock out had more opportunity to fuck up, but would keep him out of it for longer. The sword would be shorter, risk them getting caught. Whereas dropping him off the side would be a sure kill from the weight of his armor, but it would be louder, and the snapping of a neck would be permanent, but this satyr probably had a family.
Fear made his decision in the blink of an eye. He tightened his grip around the veins leading to the neck, grasping the larynx firmly, and used telekinesis to pull himself down toward the ground, increasing his weight.
The satyr gasped, then choked. His arms came up to grab at the hooves to pry them off but was surprised to feel nothing there but shadows. He clawed at his neck, sniper rifle having clattered to the ground long ago.
Fear could bring him over to the edge, it'd be a simple matter to throw him off and do away with his enemy for good. It was tempting. But he refused, holding down the points on the satyr's neck he'd been taught.
His enemy pushed and pulled, ramming backwards to try and knock the equine loose, knowing something was choking him but not what. It wasn't long before his knees buckled under him, head going light, vision dimming, and he collapsed to the ground in a heap. Fear kept the hold for a long moment, risking a little brain damage, but making sure he wouldn't be getting back up for awhile. It had been a long ten seconds.
Fear released his grip and stood at the edge of the tower facing the other, and let his tulpa surge out of him across the gap. When it was completely across Fear initiated the spell, switching places with Omega Storm and silently appearing on the other side. Fear dove into the shadows again and raced over to the next satyr, doing the same as the last, pulling him in a choke hold and yanking him to the ground with oxygen deprivation.
Afterward Fear reached the edge of the tower and slid down it among the shadows, appearing next to his family braced against the door. He gave a quick salute and they went into the shadows again together, slipping through the cracks of the door. Gentler and Faith went in first, followed by Acrid, then Fear.
Gentler leaped out of the shadows at one of the guards at the other side, wrapping an arm around his neck and yanking him down and back against the wall, wrenching against it and pinching the larynx and veins. “Gck! Hckk!” It was a silent take down that took seconds.
The second, who glanced to the side and caught Gentler in the act, was nabbed in Faith's grip. She came out of the ground and wrapped her forelegs around the satyr's stomach, pulling him up and then down behind her in a suplex. Bridging her back and giving him a concussion hard enough to send him reeling into unconsciousness.
Acrid followed up by taking the third ahead of them and burying him under the ground. He planted his hooves against the dirt and caved it in, before swallowing him up, not even regretting the fact that he'd probably killed them. He had a heel style to live by after all.
The four took a moment to catch their breaths, with Fear coming up out of the shadows afterward. He looked at their handiwork and gave a simple, appraising nod. He output a hallucination of patting them all on the back and then directed them toward their next goal, slowly pushing through the compound. Fear cast himself in illusion and invisibility, obscuring himself entirely so that he could help his family by scouting ahead, trying to put as little pressure on his body as possible to prevent his leg from hurting before it was time to go all out.
During the infiltration Fear couldn't help but think back on a few years ago, maybe four, when he'd been busy learning from Emulae on just how to mask himself like this.
Fear needed food. He was incredibly on edge and he'd been starved for the past couple days. Sim had been forcing a fight between each other and making him learn how to siphon love while he was battling in order to help him improve. They'd been merciless, and it hadn't been the first time over the three month period he'd considered giving up. He was up in the guest room, hiding out, biding his time late in the day, trying to figure out the complexities needed to scour himself completely invisible.
The problem was, Fear knew he couldn't do that yet. He'd learned how to shed his fur and hair and mask himself in the ensuing storm in order to make it more difficult for others to hit him, though it rarely helped because Gentler had proven a knack for finding him purely through sound.
Which had forced Fear to learn how to mask his sounds with illusions as well. It was all a really hard waltz between his family and him. Fear's lips pulled back into a nervous snarl, his eyes full of concern as his heart thundered in his chest. It was hard to calm down. If he didn't calm down he wouldn't even be able to change his colors to fit the household.
Fear took a deep breath through his snout, closing his eyes. Casting an illusion over himself that deprived him of his six senses. A small charm in changeling terms. It was harder using it on others. As the world filtered out from him and he was left in complete emptiness, he let only the sensation of his breathing fill through, focusing on his meditations. Meditation was not about calming the mind and emptying it of thought, but taking the thoughts that did come and carefully parrying them away by reminding yourself of your primary focus. He'd become adept at it, casually pushing away thought after thought, anxiety after anxiety, even though it took full concentration just to do so.
Eventually, his body calmed down. His heart rate stilled. A gentle thump th-thump thump thump th-thump thump thump. Fear opened his eyes and took the world in anew. Things felt crisper, cleaner. It was a sensation he'd grow accustomed to as he matured and aged. He let his muscles go limp, just looking around at the world with a different perspective. A calm one. A gentle smile flit onto his face. His ears buzzed a bit.
It was time to try his hoof at sneaking some cookies.
Fear opened the door. It didn't squeak because he'd long ago taken the initiative to lubricate it. Not that it'd been easy. It'd required changing himself to secrete specific oils from his hoof, on Emulae's instruction. He knew he'd need it eventually.
Carefully slipping out, Fear closed it silently behind him and cast out illusory wavelengths. They were imperfect, easy to spot. He hadn't become accustomed to using it solely on instinct yet. His intention was clear in the spells. But it was functional for a colt like him. Fear cushioned his hooves with pillowy horseshoes made from changeling magic, and concealed his body by camouflaging himself with colors matching the inside of the wooden building.
Fear was headed for the stairwell when he felt the intent hammer against his brain of someone coming out to go to the bathroom. He froze as Sim opened up his door and swiftly flit past him none the wiser. He would have alerted everyone if he'd noticed. Fear was pretty sure he hadn't noticed? He hadn't sensed a disturbance in his emotions. Or he was faking really well. The stairwell creaked as Sim descended.
It was the same step every time, and as Fear began his descent as well, he made sure to avoid that one.
The living room was being occupied by Mirage, who was busy playing jacks, a training exercise for unicorn foals but a fun game for anyone else.
As Fear tried to slip past her Mirage lifted her snout in the air and sniffed.
Shit! Fear thought. I forgot! Fear immediately tried to hide his scent with the smell of the wood around him. Mirage focused for a second, her eyes contracting. There was a sense that something was off, but she eventually shrugged her shoulders.
“Must've been my imagination.” Still her eyes slid over where Fear was, his stiff body in midstep.
Fear couldn't tell if she was throwing him a bone or genuinely stumped. But he didn't let it bother him. When Mirage was looking away he hurried along to the kitchen, stepping over one of the creaky floorboards with dainty steps. Nowadays he didn't need to cushion his hooves unless he was going somewhere with mechanical turrets because his illusory skill did the work for them.
Entering the kitchen, where Emulae and him had many of their mental hallucinatory battles, that Fear always lost but would eventually win near constantly, he let himself calm down a bit.
Fear knew Emulae could hear his heartbeat if he didn't mask it. She wasn't in the room though, he was sure. She only hid her soul signature when she was aware of his presence.
And he was pretty sure she didn't know he was there.
Looking up at the cookie jar on top of the old style refrigerator Fear realized he could use his magic to pull it down, but he wasn't skilled enough yet to hide the aura from his horn while also using telekinesis. He had to learn better! And eventually he would. But right now wasn't about testing his limits, it was about getting that food.
The cookies were chunky pumpkin chocolate chip biscuits. They were made from mostly preserved ingredients so while they were delicious and semi-fresh, they weren't as good as Abyssinian cuisine, as he'd learn someday. But right now that food was worth its weight in thousands of caps.
Fear licked his lips. He hadn't thought this far ahead. He needed some way to grab the jar and pull it down without being seen. Glancing from side to side he made sure no one was watching. Fear could maybe extend his hair or... or... Fear was at a loss for what to do! Okay. Fear took a few steps in place and made use of his mother's old motto. When all seems lost take stock and do a brainstorming session. He grimaced tightly and looked back at the cookie jar. He had magic, he had transformation to some degree, he had illusions... he couldn't make an illusion concrete could he? No that was silly. He also had the burgeoning ability to shadow walk. Could he do that? It would be a risk. He also had hair, hooves, eyes, and a tail. He had a lot, he realized! But what could he use?
Glancing behind him, Fear took stock of his tail, narrowing his eyes. Hmm... could he? He could try to slither up there with shadows. Or... use the shadows to pull the jar down? No. That might cause it to crash into the floor. Maybe when he was better he could grab it in his magic and subsume into the shadows and control it from there.
Fear could only dream.
But, there was one other idea. He was already influencing his body with changeling magics while remaining inconspicuous. Maybe he could lengthen his tail and use it as a prehensile appendage? Fear realized he was so far from being able to do so much, but eventually he would get there. It inspired him to keep trying. Fear pumped formative magics into his tail, lengthening, stretching out that little dock bit by bit until it was writhing around like a controlled snake, hanging in the air. The extra vertebra were the most difficult, and alongside that forming the tiny discs.
Thank you, Grandma Emulae, Fear thought to himself, grinning victoriously as he eventually got it built up enough to have some control over it. He gave it a little flick, looked up at the cookie jar, lashed it around it, and lifted it up, and slowly brought it down.
Should he bring it back to the room with him or keep it here? He couldn't just stay here and eat it all in one shot. Someone could come in any second. Even if he was hiding it in his illusory magics... Fear considered it. Maybe he could... melt this into the shadow beneath him? It was worth a try. It was a small object, full of many objects. All he had to do was... alter the wavelength of all of them, mix it with the shade.
Fear's mouth opened in a silent gasp, his tail returning to normal, as the jar mashed against his chest, melting into him, sticking to him like a singe mark. There was a lingering moment of hesitation as Fear's jaw opened and closed a dozen times, surprised at the nature of how he'd finally gotten it right. He knew it was draining his magic actively, and he'd need to get better at it over the course of a few years before he could say he'd effectively mastered it, but it was done. He'd done it! Fear immediately looked around, finally sensing the rest of his family now that his focus was redistributed. Emulae was out in the backyard. She would be coming in soon, could feel the intent growing. Grandpa Jack was with her. Two of the three kids were in their rooms. Fear breathed in deep and carefully walked through the house, bypassing the creaky steps, and focusing on multiple things at once just like Rose had taught him in order to maintain illusion, transformation, and shadow walking. It was hard, harder than anything else he had done, and it caused him to waddle a bit as his padded hooves pressed into wood.
But... he'd done it.
And getting back to his room proved to be less of a task than coming out from it. He was going to eat like a king today. Emulae would make more of the fluffy treats for sure, when she could.
Fear had successfully guided his family into pounding the enemy into submission. Anyone who was still around were down in the mines. The ones on the walls had been succinctly subdued, and the ground around the compound was littered with unconscious bodies, some buried under the earth. Gentler took one of the soul weapons with him on Fear's suggestion. It grossed them all out to consider what they were capable of, but Fear wanted one on the squad in case it became necessary. Gentler had considered arguing but Fear's tone brooked no room for questioning. He sounded more experienced than he was. Maybe he was drawing on lives beyond him? Maybe he was just more confident than Gentler by this point. But the Abyssinian listened either way as they approached the Untergäng's open doors.
The train was giant, the doors meant for creatures a little less than twice Gentler's size. It was intimidating and clearly made from magic and energy resistant plating. The insides were sterile and looked like cramped tanks, and the outside resembled it even more with their attached artillery and high powered auto guns that were built with computing to home in on a target and shoot it out of the air.
The Enclave were the most dangerous enemy in the wasteland after all. They could fly, they were agile and fast. Compared to the Steel Rangers who'd die in one hit to the soul weapons it was them and their Raptors that would cause the most damage.
All the train needed was a good hit with the artillery up front and a raptor would be going down though.
It was powerful, dangerous. Fear was about to enter the first train car but jumped back when he saw something coming down the hallway out of the corner of his eye with a pneumatic 'shmpff' 'shmpff' 'shmpff' of footsteps.
Fear pushed his family back, with a forehoof, his limp leg dangling under him uselessly. It had been a long time since he'd felt this vulnerable. Fear grit his teeth and bowed his head, putting his hoof down as Seele came out from the door, following the backing up team, having caught sight of him.
Seele was a top of the line robot after all. High definition cameras, battle hardy AI combined with his battle hardened soul. Top notch audio receptors, and... well. He didn't really need scent and taste in his life anymore. He'd long ago given that up. And it wasn't like those processors could be added in hindsight because souljars could not be modified.
Fear stiffened. Watching the bulbous body stand in front of them. It was made up of multiple sphere-like joints and a core about the same. It was a little taller than Gentler, with agility on the mind with how lubricated its body was, the soul snapshotting it in time, at its peak performance. On its back was a levitating metal ring that hovered, spinning incessantly like an engine. The whole thing was big, bulky, and had thrusters on its hands and feet, and back that looked strong enough to propel it through the air or increase its speed if necessary. Fear got low to the ground.
A deep, tinny voice sounded from its helmeted face, a helmet that looked more like a girthy scorpion mask, mandibles on the front, than a bulky rebreather mask like the Steel Rangers wore. “Fearei Shatter. What a pleasant surprise.”
Like Fear had expected, he could not sense its intent. The robot and soul were one. It was a machine, not an organic form, guided and strengthened by soul. The body did not have a magical source to it, necessarily.
If anything, Fear could tell it was resistant to magic just by how everything about him seemed to ping off it. Fear couldn't 'see' it very well, but he suspected the umbran that Zaya had told him about, Zetta, was hiding in Seele's shadow. Zaya had also told him that interstellar spells might work, due to the idea of souls being Startouched potentially, manipulated by them in old Zebran lore. That was a last resort, and Fear had tried to look for other ways to beat it in order to not have to rely on it.
Just in case it turned out to be a false theory.
Fear pulled his sword out of his shadows and motioned for the others to get back.
“I suppose surprise doesn't really do it justice, though. Hmm...” Seele's voice grumbled like an earthquake, with a mechanical edge to it. “I did expect you after all. If you killed Exa then it stands to reason you'd come for me eventually. The only surprise is that I expected you to take some time off first. After all, a wastelander being in Abyssinia for the first time...” A pause.
“Must be pleasant.” Seele cooed.
Fear shook his head wildly. “Seele! Whatever you're planning ends here and now! You're not taking over the wasteland nor Abyssinia! We're here to stop you!”
“If you or your friends can even hurt me I'll commend you for your efforts.” Seele twisted slightly, holding his arms out in a battle ready stance, getting ready to fight.
Fear launched off the ground on one leg, using telekinetic hoof pads to charge forward into the air, trying to get up to his chest, bringing to bear the sealing spell he'd used on Zaya.
Seele stepped forward to greet Fear, throwing a hand for his face.
It was a fast move, almost too fast. But Fear was prepared. He'd spent time learning to predict from his various fights and read the slightest movements. He pulsed himself downward slightly, onto a telekinetic pad and brought the sword sweeping around.
The mechanical beast's hand whirred over Fear's body, the overreach in his thrust causing him to come in direct contact with the blade. It had been a failure of a move, but Seele wasn't concerned.
As the magic poured into his metal, it was immediately dispersed and rendered impotent. The spell was ineffective on the body's capabilities.
Fear pushed himself to the right as Seele tried to collapse his body on top of Fear.
The thruster on Seele's other hand turned on, and sent him careening into a spin.
Fear was caught as the hand came around and slammed into his body, latching onto him, fingers clenching down as Seele fell to the ground.
Acrid stomped his hooves on the earth as Fear dipped into the shadows against the claws, the ground dilating and lifting to swallow Seele up.
Seele's boosters ignited, roaring him up off the ground before it could gulp him down, the disc on his back spinning even faster as if it were the mechanical reflection of adrenaline pumping through an organic body. A loud tinny war cry emitted from Seele's voice box as he rose further... further, and continued his spin, aiming his arm at Acrid and firing the detachable limb off, hovering in the air and moving backwards.
Acrid brought the earth up to try and defend himself but the fist rocketed right through and slammed into the older stallion point blank in the face, nearly crushing his snout and sending him sprawling onto the ground with a concussion, earthly debris scattering everywhere.
Gentler had been weaving around Seele's movements, drawing in close and throwing a magic nullification palm thrust at him, slamming home.
Nothing happened.
Fear popped off the robotic body and spun in place, bringing the sword around to block a fist sent straight at him, pushing if off and to the side with a screech of sharp quartz on metal. He ducked to the side as he pushed out an illusion, and Gentler responded in kind by throwing him the soul rifle he'd been carrying.
Seele reattached his limb and made to lunge at Gentler.
Gentler fell into the shadows.
It was a feint.
Seele twisted around and aimed his booster at the ground where Gentler was waiting to pop back out.
Fear screamed in alarm and fired the weapon.
There was a jerk as Seele's robotic body took the brunt of the force, a moaning grunt escaping the voice box and he twisted around in order to send a fist at Fear.
Fear knew it was fake and jumped back out of reach.
Faith fired her weapon, the power of the Alicannon punching through the air and blasting into the stunned souljar. There was an explosion, splinters of metal went flying.
Gentler came up out of the ground and used a repulsion palm, against Seele's core with a loud, echoing 'hyah!' His palm connected and caused Seele to stumble to the side, a gentle divot appearing in the metal where he'd been struck.
Faith charged up her weapon again.
Gentler fell into a series of repulsion swings, having felt the depression from his strike, phasing pieces of his body in and out of the shadows as Seele tried to fight back, raining down blows on him.
The damage was not lost on Fear as he stood back, analyzing the scene, feeling the eruption of pain beginning in his hindleg, but he ignored it, powered through it. Fear fired the soul rifle at Seele, puncturing his defenses.
Seele jerked to punch Gentler in the side of the head, expecting him to duck. The movement complete, he rocketed to the side just as Faith's weapon fired, on a crash course with the Abyssinian. Seele's AI whirred, working overtime to handle the three foes, crying out in aroused pleasure with every damaging blow, his soul able to feel the penetration, disturbing his enemies.
Nearly hit, Gentler barely managed to completely melt away, breathing heavily, coming back up for air.
Seele came down on Gentler hard, smashing a fist into his head and knocking him to the ground like a sack of bricks, out for the count.
Faith let out a war cry and leapt into the fray, bringing the horn of her alicannon around in a slamming motion.
Seele read it and took the brunt of the blow, earth pony might, equine and satyr technology clashing. Faith tried to duck as she saw a hand lashing out to latch onto her, the booster hastening its approach. The hand whooshed over her form, and she lunged to the side, Alicannon charged. “Fear!” Faith cried out.
Fear nodded once and shot the rifle again. Seele staggered backwards and the light around his body warped slightly.
Faith brought the weapon around and fired, aiming at Seele's head.
Seele ducked, activating his thrusters, and tore through the air at Faith.
Fear pushed Faith's body to the side with telekinesis, out of the way, and called out in his mind. Starlight Shredder! His magic cascaded from his horn in a blinding display, matching his wavelength with the stars, arcing a hoof through the air, bringing to bear the light of multiple sources, letting shadows coalesce around them.
He twisted around as specks of plasma energy appeared around him, coming down onto him. Seele screamed in pleasure as concentrated light hammered into his body, burning up metal and then exploding on contact as magic pumped into the spell. The magic was almost enough to damage his resistant body.
Fear put his all into the combination of spells, standing on one hindleg and using his increasingly agonized lame leg, wrapped in splint, as a staff rather than a limb. Balancing carefully as he held his forelegs up, calling upon interstellar magic, putting his all into the ability.
There was a scream, two screams. One was Fear's, full of determination as he summoned the wrath of space itself, and the second was Seele's, an erotic scream of shuddering pleasure. Pieces of his body flaked off from the explosive contact, but overall there were no cracks, just chips.
Seele's shadow bulged and writhed, before latching onto the shadows surrounding his host and scattering them before the magic could do anymore damage.
Fear fell to his forelegs as the spell ended, huffing, puffing, his eyes exhausted, jaw hanging open. His legs buckled under him. Zaya had theorized interstellar spells would work to chip away his body, maybe completely override the soul based on old Zebra beliefs.
Zaya had been wrong.
Fear dodged a telegraphed swing from Seele, watching as the robot portrayed his moves ahead of time with an overabundance of signs like a bad poker player. He dodged, weaved, and ducked, dancing across, bringing the soul gun to bear and firing at Seele, distorting his appearance, making him stumble.
Faith came up from behind and took the opportunity to blast the back of Seele's core and do more damage, creating small cracks in the metal that spider webbed outward. Not quite enough.
I could use the Raidho to mimic the powers of the soul rifle, Fear thought to himself. But I'm running out of strength quickly. I could also probably use the sword's spells on the soul itself, instead of on the resistant metal body, but I'd need to use the right kind of spell. Fear's eyes were lidded as he kept spinning and leaning around Seele's hits. His legs were trembling from strain, his mind preternaturally calm in the face of adversity and certain defeat. Something about the adrenaline kept him at peace even though he knew he was about to lose. They had come at this from the wrong standpoint. He hadn't done enough reconnaissance. Fear's face formed a tight grimace. His hindleg roaring with pain, making goosebumps trail up his spine like ice water. I don't have the fine dexterous control right now, my leg hurts too much. We're about to lose. Fear felt at peace, yet his stomach dropped from him. The panic had induced an emotional override. His exhaustion from the travels kept him serene.
I've fucked up again. Fear thought. Maybe my final fuck up. His life wasn't flashing before his eyes though so... that was a good sign. Everything faded in and out, exertion causing Fear's breath to come out raggedly, his back cringing from the phantom pain. Everything felt like it was closing in.
Fear prayed, with every thought in his body, as he continued to occasionally fire the soul rifle that he'd live to see another day. He didn't think it'd actually work, and he didn't know why it'd happen... but as he careened out of the way of another strike, reading every feint and every actual attack Seele followed through with, he could feel his body slowly giving out on him. Only this time, unlike with Chrono Corona he couldn't think of a method to win, right now. His body was slacking. He was dimming. He heard a war cry.
It was Faith's.
Faith dove in the way of Fear as he was about to get bashed in the face, bringing the alicannon to bear and nearly firing it, only for Seele to bat her to the side with a simple flick, sending her careening across the way and slamming into the metal train cars with a crunch. Faith's body crumpled and fell limply to the ground, Alicannon thudding in the dirt.
Fear's eyes dilated as his legs failed on him, giving out under him, watching his end coming to him as life fell into slow motion.
As the arm thrust out to punch Fear in the face, a metal-clad Acrid crashed home into it, sending it off to the side and making Seele whip around.
Acrid brought the earth to his command, letting it rise up under Seele, using the same manipulation to slide around, sloping the earth under him to give him constant momentum, spiraling around the battlefield and peppering Seele with stones that broke apart on contact.
It was a hailstorm of rock, pelting him from every side, hovering in the air and constantly screaming through and slamming home. Crumbling apart. Making little knicks in the armor.
Fear's eyes rolled into the back of his skull and he collapsed onto his side, the gear attached to his shadow bursting forth and thudding on the ground. Gallop, saddlebags, sword. Everything scattered about.
Acrid was roaring, coughing up blood that coated his broken snout, sliding and weaving around Seele's attacks, seeping bits of metal off of his makeshift armor and letting it absorb the blows from the robotic menace. Sweeping the rifle up off the ground with advanced metal manipulation and holding it at the ready in a foreleg, firing constantly whenever it finished charging, stunning Seele time and again. “Just die you motherfucker!” Acrid screamed, making a crater in the earth that was incessantly replaced with the dust from broken rocks, only to take those pebbles and throw them at extreme velocities against the metal armor.
Seele's body was banged up, dinged, scratched, scraped, and scarred. There were nicks and cracks, like rocks embedded into windshields, and he was held down on one knee, holding an arm up to try and defend himself from the onslaught, the moans having tapered off from exhaustion. The body could barely move, not because it was incapable but because it was having difficulty keeping up with where Acrid was.
Zetta's voice sounded over the din. “Surrender, enemy of umbrans or face the consequences!” There was a twinge of terror in the umbran's deep, scarlet voice. He had emerged from the shadows and stood over Fear's body, a multitude of intents running through him that the only empath in the group couldn't sense. Unconscious.
Acrid slowed down and grimaced as he saw what was going on to the one he loved, one he considered family if not more. He growled out and surged forth to attack Zetta, remembering something from the threat.
The power to seal.
As Acrid's emotions got the better of him and he charged at Zetta to lay hooves on him, Seele spurred into action, rising as his body screeched from grinding together, some rocks stuck in little crannies. He uppercut Acrid in the stomach as he passed by, lifting him up into the air, bringing another arm down on the older stallion's spine, sending spittle flying from his mouth, and then bringing the previous arm around and bashing into his bloody face, arcing downward and slamming him into the crater.
Knocked out.
Zetta was quiet for awhile, looking at the damage to his host and the world around them. His vision cast from end to end. “Seele, order your men to imprison our guests in our security chambers. They won't be bothering us anymore.” Zetta shuddered slightly after seeing what could have been, and picked up Fear's sword, casually examining it, sensing the power lying in it. He'd do well to destroy it here and now, but the quartz would make for good fuel. It would be used later. Zetta looked down at Fear with an angry grimace, considering destroying the rest of his gear or leaving it behind. He didn't know the emotional significance of most of it, but the Gallop had obviously gone under severe repairs. Fear would not have gone to the trouble unless it had emotional value. Zetta held a hoof in front of Fear's snout, hastening the rotting process and generating a sharp smelling ammonia scent.
Fear's snout wrinkled up, the sensation of fire sparks flooding across his nasal cavity and into his lungs. His diaphragm spasmed, causing him to inhale hard. His eyes popped open and he jerked tiredly, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he grunted, before flopping against the ground.
Zetta grabbed the Gallop in his necromantic aura, holding it at eye level with Fear. “Pay close attention Fear, because this is exactly what's going to happen to you and your family. Everyone you care about will fall to us, and it will start with these things you care about so much.”
Fear groaned, his head throbbing in his skull, eyes bloodshot, huffing and puffing to try and catch his breath, looking at his Gallop with tired, lazy eyes. Consciousness ebbed and flowed.
Gradually, over the course of minutes the metal corroded, rusting away and breaking apart like peanut brittle, the wood rotting and splintering. The weapon cracked and wrenched, warping, before falling apart into components and being dropped onto the ground.
The young stallion barely knew what'd happened, but when it finally occurred to him he seethed with a need for vengeance.
Zetta grabbed Fear by the back of his mane and lifted his head up, before slamming it into the dirt multiple times. “You mean nothing to me you gross insect. You are nothing more than a source of despair. Consider yourself lucky I'm keeping you alive for now.”
Fear was having a difficult time breathing right, his nasal passage completely messed up, breathing through his mouth like a snorer. It came in sharp, labored gasps. One of his eyes was squinting, the other was lazily drifting away. “F... fuck you...” it was all he had the strength left to speak, blood draining down his lips. Fear's eyes were tearing up. The salty liquid burned, or was that his fury?
Zetta snapped the rifle's barrel in half, then into pieces. “This will be staying here. Unlike you.”
The young stallion's eyes fell shut as the umbran grinned victoriously. “For someone who's given us so much difficulty you lost very easily here Fearei Shatter. How does it feel knowing you're not good enough to overcome a soul jar?”
Fear spat, but it only came out as drool dribbling down his chin, mixing with the crimson reality running across his face. “N... next time...” he panted out. “There... will...” his voice was determined, huffy, and raspy.
The umbran smiled sadistically. “But Fear. How can there be a next time if you're incapable of escaping your prison? I won't be letting you out, ever. I'm going to kill everyone you care about in front of you. Destroy all your gear. Eliminate your will until you're a suffering, blubbering mess and you have nothing more to live for. And then I'm going to take your life while you're busy coming at me in a rage. You're nothing without your equipment after all, and even less without your magic.” Zetta's voice was a low purr. “You may have learned to fight without your empathy, but everything else about you depends on one single facet of the world. Your connection to magic. Without it. You. Are. Nothing.” Zetta hissed into Fear's ear. “Your family is going to be used as slaves, and the ones who deign fit to struggle and resist will be used as batteries. For my kind, and for the satyrs.” It started as a low rumble, before turning into a full maniacal cackle.
Fear grunted and grumbled, gritting his teeth, lips pulled back into a snarl. He could taste iron on his lips and tongue.
“I want you to hurt, Fear,” Zetta proclaimed. “After what you've done to us you deserve no less. Killing our comrades, oppressing us, forcing us to remain inside the seal. We knew you'd be coming, you horrible little cretin. And it's time you got what's coming to you.”
Fear's eyes fluttered, eyes rolling back. A desperate whimper escaped him as unconsciousness reclaimed him.
Fear awoke with a powerful, eyecrossingly startling jerk. Fear’s mind underwent a swift diagnostic. Every breath through his snout came with a quiet whistle that only he could hear, an annoyingly high pitched one that caused his face to wince. His snout was swollen, possibly broken, hopefully not cricked for good.
Instead of breathing through his snout, he did it through his maw.
Second thing that occurred to him was his face and head was incredibly sore, he had a dull throbbing headache that was more inconvenient than incapacitating.
Third thing he noticed was that he was in a prison cell, laying on his side, unequipped of everything he owned. One eye was at half mast, the other wide open, his breathing quickening. Shaybna wasn't with him. His Gallop was destroyed.
Memories returned in a flurry.
Numb shock crossed Fear's features.
Fear squeezed his eyes shut, his head panging like a cancerous throb. “Ooogh.” He lifted a forehoof to his head and tried to calm himself down, having to breathe through his muzzle feeling uncomfortable and unnatural after spending so long teaching himself to aspirate alternately. He sat up, bringing his forehooves up and holding them over his snout, carefully testing it to see if it needed to be cricked back into place. Realizing it did need a slight adjustment...
POP
He jerked his snout to the side, aligning the bones and in the process sending a snapping pain twisting through his face. He slumped back to the ground, muzzle throbbing.
Next up was to examine his surroundings. At least there wasn't as much of a whistle anymore. And he could breathe more effectively.
A heavy storm cloud settled over Fear's mind as he fully, entirely realized where he was, breath hitching in his throat with a sharp inhale. His head rung, possibly signs of a concussion? There was a low humming coming from his cage. A very, very small cell being guarded by a satyr guard, the entrance being not bars, but a field of green effervescent energy, broiling at every location it touched something else. He reached out with a hoof, carefully touching the screen of emerald energy and yelping as a sudden, persistent shock zapped through his system and caused every muscle in his body to spasm and seize nearly to the point of tearing.
Fear yanked his hoof away, falling against the ground again with a grunt. He almost got back up, recklessly, to throw himself back at the cage in a sudden influx of panic.
And that's when he realized, everything becoming clear, that he couldn't sense the emotions of the satyr ahead of him.
And then he realized, surrounded by dense black metal, that he couldn't sense anything. The ringing sensation wasn't just from a possible concussion...
It was because he couldn't feel!
Fear screamed out, rapping his hooves against the walls, trying to climb up them, trying to get out, going into emotional overload within the span of seconds. “HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!” Fear's voice tried to erupt again, but only choked in his throat his eyes wide, dilated and frantic.
He fell to the ground and pounded on the floor numerous times to the point his hooves were sore, and still he kept doing it, letting out a burdening amount of energy that amounted to something akin to severe acid reflux bubbling up his throat and overwhelming him. His eyes quivered. Fear threw himself against the energy cage again.
Fear's side rammed against it, only for the energy to course through his body and electrocute him so hard his heart nearly stopped, every muscle in his body jerking as he contorted and fell to the ground, frothing from the mouth and groaning, every muscle aching.
So much energy, he rolled around on the ground, holding his head, realizing how much he'd fucked up. He groaned harder, crying out to the world. No one could help him. There was a magic barrier around him. Zetta hadn't been bluffing. Fear's eyes, bloodshot, took on a far away glaze.
Are my friends stuck in a similar situation?
Can Acrid not use his earth manipulation?
How are we supposed to get out of this?
Just like when I lost to Linebreiker.
Worse.
I'm actually aware of it.
Fear's thoughts pounded against his brain, coming from every single different direction as if from a different voice each time, as if his psyche was scattering and tearing apart into multiple personalities, multiple inner voices.
Panic barfed out of him. It felt like vomit coming from every pore in his body as he rocked on the ground, drooling on the floor.
How many of these cages do they have?
Where is my family?
Luna! The others on the moon! What'll happen to them!?
Shaybna! What'll happen to her!? Is she going to be used as fuel?
NO! This is horrible! What have I done!?
Bubbles formed at Fear's mouth, a constant high-pitched sound emitting from his lips until he ran out of breath, inhaled deeply, and did it again.
I've lost!
I can't get out!
What do I do!?
Zetta said he'd keep me in here!
Kill everyone!
Fear's mind blanked out, his eyes crossing over his snout.
Amelio said I had the weight of the world on my shoulders!
The satyrs are going to take over the world!
They're going to enslave everyone!
Why in Tartarus did I have confidence in myself!?
Why wasn't I more panicked earlier!?
WHAT HAVE I DONE!?
Fear was hyperventilating by this point, his mind tunneling down deeper, into the darkest reaches of his psyche, old insecurities that had never taken hold, bubbling to the surface. He jerked his head back and forth, trying to gain a handle on anything, trying to claw to the surface of his deadly spiral.
What was my purpose if not this!?
Why did I have faith in my own abilities!?
I didn't work hard enough!
It wasn't enough!
This is the end!
How is my family going to get out of this without me!?
A terrible, horrible knot formed in Fear's stomach like a cancerous lump, sickening and nauseating. Enough to make him feel like he was going to churn and throw up his organs. It twisted, then contorted, Fear writhed on the ground. Eyes shifting to crimson, glowing eerily.
Marvelous Spiral!? And here I was thinking I'd earned it!
That name means nothing anymore!
It doesn't give me strength!
I am an impostor! I was never a hero!
I didn't even dream!
What am I saying!? There's nothing they could've done!
Fear's saliva dribbled from his mouth onto the floor, forming a puddle beneath him as his body twitched uncomfortably, his healthy hindleg kicking out and straining. His ruby eyes deepened.
First my leg...
Now this...
What am I doing with my life?
What did Discord expect of me?
Fear bolted upward, putting his forelegs under him and sitting up, lame leg splaying away from him.
“Discord!”
The satyr glanced behind him curiously, before returning to his guard. “Sorry kid. No one's coming for you.” The voice was tinny, lacking bass, coming from the mask.
Fear ignored the idiot on the other side. Didn't trust him. Didn't care about him. Didn't wanna kill him, but didn't wanna save him either. He was the enemy, and right now he was feeling a very extravagant loss of forgiveness in his aching, nearly frozen heart. Discord was his only chance. Sure he could pick the lock of the cage if it was normal and his magic wasn't being inhibited, but...
But...
As Fear realized he was useless without any magical abilities, eyes going dull and exhausted from the brutal wrench in his soul, Discord's voice sounded in his head. Well hello there Fear, how goes it?
How goes it!? How do you think it's going!? I'm having an existential crisis! I can't think of a way out! I'm panicking! I can't brainstorm! What am I supposed to do! I called you to help me! This is the end of the road!
Was there a way out? Fear hadn't really considered it.
His magic wasn't working. There was nothing in his skill set that could get him past an electrocuting cell.
Discord's response made him sound like he was waggling a paw around dismissively. I don't have enough power to help, Fear. I'm sorry. That was even if my will could get past these state of the art magic inhibitors. It's hard enough to be in your head right now. Anything made out of pure discord wouldn't be able to function here anyway. Discord paused.
I should be honest with you, Fear. Discord's voice grew more sullen. And Fear couldn't tell whether it was genuine or not, whether Discord was hiding it or not. Even if I could, I wouldn't do it. You've been bailed out too many times, it's time you did something for yourself.
Fear screamed and jumped to his legs. “Discord! What are you talking about!? I can't do anything in here! Why wouldn't you help if you could!?” It felt like a betrayal, putting aside the fact that Discord genuinely couldn't do anything. Could Discord do anything? Fear couldn't tell if he was lying. His mother's paranoia surfaced and his face twisted into a suspicious scowl. “You're not telling the truth, are you! You're just saying that! You're tricking me! This is a trick! You're gonna help right!?” Fear's voice was full of hope and denial.
“Shut up kid. No one's coming to save you. And to be honest if you're so crazy you're talking to a dead man I don't really want you out.” The Satyr gruffed.
No. Discord stated simply. I'm not tricking you. And with that he left abruptly. There was no sense of him in Fear's mind.
“Discord!? Discord! No! Don't leave me! Please no! No no no!”
Fear fell to the ground, sobbing to himself, openly weeping and sniffling. “No! Please no! Not like this! I don't want to be alone! Please don't do this to me! Don't leave me alone! Not again... please! I can't do this! I'm not strong enough! I'm just a colt! Just a... just a colt...!” Fear mourned into his hooves, his eyes becoming like faucets as he squeezed them shut. “I let down the Abyssinians! I let down everyone! No... please...! I'm no hero! I don't care. I'll give up the title. I'll give up everything! Just please let it be okay!”
I'm useless. The thought thundered in Fear's head over and over again like lightning striking the same place repeatedly. I've let down the wasteland. I've let down my parents. My Mom was wrong
Fear looked up at the ceiling with dead eyes. I deserve it. To suffer, to die. I tried to intervene too many times. I killed so many. I did so much wrong. There was so much I could've done better if I'd just trained myself harder! Tears leaked from his eyes. The umbrans were living creatures too. I could've tried to reason with them! My mother's rifle? I couldn't protect it. I couldn't protect her, or anything else.
Storm's voice probed Fear's mind. Fear. The voice of his tulpa. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you Fear. So many were against you, against us. There was no way we could've won. There was too much burden, too many odds. It was all against us.
Fear's head twisted to the empty space where he felt his tulpa's presence from in his mind. No. That can't be. It couldn't have been that bad. We weren't hated. Ponies loved us. Right?
I loved you Fear. I guess... I guess maybe the others did too? But... but you have to admit. They never did enough for us did they?
That suspicious paranoia. Fear recognized it. He shut his eyes tight and pushed his tulpa away from him in his mind's eye. “No! They didn't hate us! They did enough! They were always there for us when we needed them! I just... couldn't... be there for them. Because I was too weak!” He knew where this paranoia came from, the assumption of the worst, irrational anxiety, bad outcomes, trauma that went beyond the mind.
Honey. It's no use. We weren't enough. They weren't enough. No one will ever be enough. They will always betray you in the end, even if they don't mean to. We betrayed them too. We were too confident. We didn't prepare enough. There was not enough time. There will never be enough time.
Fear stamped his hooves on the ground and screamed at the ceiling.
“Kid! Fucking shut up!” The satyr exclaimed, rolling his eyes in his helmet. “Ugh. Stupid foals. This is what Zetta was so afraid of? Psh.” Still, best to keep him in his containment. No point risking the worst case scenario.
Mom! Fear furiously shouted in his mind. We can't always be in control! Having his tulpa panicking almost gave him the strength to pull himself back from the brink. With both of them spiraling down he could at least see what was happening to him. Be there for others, even if not for himself. We can't control everything! We can't always be in control! Amelio and Acrid helped us realize that! So calm down! We need to calm down! Fear tried to take a deep breath through his snout, tensing his aching muscles, holding it in his lungs, and then slowly letting it out while releasing. Both of us. Just. Relax... The others from his dream had taught him this.
“You okay?” A bubbly, sort of tentative voice erupted from the other side of the train.
“Oh for fuck's sake,” the satyr proclaimed, rolling his eyes and bending his head back. “Both of you shut up. I don't want to deal with either of your voices right now.”
The voice, Eden, whimpered slightly and there was a sound of shuffling.
Fear narrowed his eyes, shivering on the ground, sitting against the wall, trying to see through the energy field. His eyes adjusted a bit to the beams and he was gradually able to filter out a cell across from him, and what he saw almost... made his heart stop. It was an avian, though the colors were hard to make out. All he could see were the horizontally ribbed bird legs and talon-ed feet, with plumage on the thighs, shoulders, and head, a slight mismatch in leg size that would likely, Fear figured, lead to a limp. Either way, the avian was nearly Gentler's size. He cocked his head to the side a bit, studying the lean, semi-tall bird. Something shuddered through Fear, a power coalescing in his chest as he shut his eyes. “Yeah I am, who are you?” His wit came to the surface as his voice trembled from his previous emotional breakdown, still suffering from some of it.
“I said shut up! Both of you! If you speak, Eden, I'm coming in there and tasing you!”
“Wouldn't dare,” Fear muttered. “If you did he'd have an opportunity to weave past you and open my cell. Then where would you be? Dealing with me, that's what. Let us talk, or it's your death.” There was a violent, calm, succinct undertone to his voice. A sort of non-chalantness that it was the way life was and he better expect it. His family's charisma seeped from him in that moment. Not magic, just social.
Eden squawked behind his cell door, flailing his wing-like arms a bit. “Wow!” There was a jumpiness to his behavior and words, a little all over the place. “You're pretty good at that!”
The satyr merely bit his lip, causing Fear to grin and huff. “Sorry if I worried you. Just a little existential crisis.” Fear's voice cracked, still in the thick of it.
“That's fine! We all go through those from time to time. What's your name?”
Fear bowed his head, smiling a bit. The creatures he met on his journey never ceased to amaze him. “Fearei Shatter. Just call me Fear though. The guard said your name was Eden, but why are you here? How'd you get caught up in this mess?”
“Oh! Me?” Another squawk. “Well... I'm a slave. Kind of. I don't dare try to outrun them normally. Unless I wanna make things harder on them.” A sort of depraved tone twitched in his voice. “I don't wanna go into it though, not with someone I just met.”
Fear lifted an eyebrow. A slave. He twisted his head to the side and expelled air between his lips, making a frustrated purring noise. “I won't push it. I feel for you though. I don't relate, but I feel.” He's my next responsibility. Gotta focus on getting him out of here. Give him a place to go to. Give him equipment. Maybe he can take some sunflower seeds from one of my family members? If I can get out of here... it was hard to have confidence, and it was shaky. But in this moment, with someone in need, it was either have confidence and pretend to have all the answers or let hopelessness spread.
And the latter was not an option.
Even fake hope could become real hope with enough action, smarts, and belief. His novel had said so. But... his body still shook violently from anxiety.
“You're clearly not okay,” Eden squawked nervously. “What's wrong?”
“I don't wanna worry you...” Fear twisted his head down and to the side.
“Doesn't matter. We're cell mates. Might as well get to know each other. Besides, I've been in this rigmarole many times. This is your first dance, right?” Eden's bubbly tone returned, he was leaning on his knees.
Fear couldn't help but smile a bit, flicking his lips upward. Eyes gradually shifting, like a mood ring, to a neutral, furious violet. “Yeah I suppose it is. But I'm not here for the same reasons as you. I'm not a slave. ...Just a prisoner, for better or worse. I'm here to be tortured and eventually killed when all is lost.”
“Pfft!” Eden bat a feather-clad wing. “It can't possibly be that bad!”
“It is...” Fear said sullenly, burying his face against his chest, ears flicking. “Zetta and Seele are going to take over the wasteland and more. They're going to exert their will over it. Use creatures as batteries for their kind. The umbrans are going to be unleashed. A kingdom of despair, a kingdom of slavery the likes of which no one has seen.” Fear hesitated, and let out a shuddering sigh. “And once again I'm incapable of saving my loved ones in a crucial moment, just like I couldn't save my mother.”
Eden shrugged a shoulder. “Well what'd you do last time? You clearly made it this far.”
Fear looked up, wobbling back and forth. “Well...” He cast his gaze toward Eden. “I had friends there to pick up the slack.”
“Whoof! Friends!” Eden whistled. “That's something I haven't had for a long time. But I mean, you still have them right? They're not out for the count yet. Sure you might not be able to do anything but that doesn't mean they can't!”
“I don't know...” Fear reluctantly uttered. “I can't think of anything they might be able to do in a moment like this. They don't have a lot of abilities, and if they're trapped in magic inhibiting cells like mine then there's no possible way.”
“Hey.” Eden tilted his head up for Fear to see. “Look at me.” It was the first fully aware thing he'd said.
“Even if your family can't do anything, they're relying on you to hold it together for them, to show them strength in the face of tragedy.” The bird's beak tilted. “Like me? There's nothing you can do sometimes. But just accepting it and being happy anyway is something no one can take away from you. Even this Zetta you speak of. Even if he tortures you, as long as you can be consistently happy, what can he really do to you?”
Fear couldn't help but grin. “It's not over til it's over yeah?” Acrid's gone through that too. Losing everything he loved. And he kept going anyway.
“Exactly!” Eden squawked. “Don't give up! There's still hope! Even when all fails, even when you've lost everything you can imagine. There's still a chance to pick up the pieces and make a new life. Even if that new life is in the arms of those who abuse you.” He leaned from side to side, rocking a bit. “So perk up, okay?”
“I'm gonna get you out of here,” Fear suddenly stated. And that's when he felt the sensation of motion under him. The train was on the move.
Eden shrugged. “Even if not, there'll be other opportunities.”
“Hah!” Fear chortled. “You sound like my sister!”
“It's true isn't it?”
“Huh.” Fear huffed, his heart dense and heavy with the upcoming tragedy. “To be honest I can't tell whether you're just being strong for my sake or what, but either way, thank you. It helps. It's just words, but it's words I need to hear and keep in mind. A perspective I need to claw at and embrace. Never let go of. Even if everything goes to shit... I'll find a way to overcome and set things right.” My sister once told me I was the type of pony who'd find a way to live even in death. I have to trust she was right about me. Fear rubbed the back of his neck. I should be handling this situation better, like Eden. Failure is just another thing to learn from. It's not whether or not I fail, but how I handle it. Gotta unlearn these tendencies of mine. All these routines and methods.
“I'm actually incredibly sad!” Eden admitted with the same bubbly voice from before. “But that doesn't mean I can't try to be happy!”
Fear's grin only widened. Eyes morphing to their inspiring, blazing sapphire. I'm going to have to be careful not to be traumatized from this, once I'm out. Things will work out, one way or another. Even if everyone dies, as long as I still have myself I can keep gathering allies and... eventually... Fear breathed deeply in through his snout, his face setting into a concrete, determined scowl. I'll win. One way or another. I've gotten this far, right? He couldn't help but feel akin to a fool, deciding to just wait, bide his time, and steel himself for whatever may come. I told myself I wouldn't falter again, but here I am. Everything I felt when I fought Breiker just... lost. Oh well. Beating myself up over it will just cause another spiral.
Something strange occurred to Fear, a sensation that, in the midst of everything going on he hadn't noticed. He looked down at his chest and was... startled when he felt the sensation of the screw necklace pricking against his chin. It was something he rarely thought about, rarely became cognizant of, but it reminded him. Luna had faith in him. Everyone had faith in him. Zetta hadn't taken it away from him, as if completely going unnoticed too. But it was a symbol of his ability to fix things.
Fear's muscles flexed.
That was encouraging.
And that was when the unthinkable happened.
The sound echoed through the carriage before Fear even saw what happened.
SLAM.
CRACK.
One second the satyr was standing there and the next he'd been dive kicked in the skull, staggered, grabbed by the throat, and then slammed into the ground hard enough to leave an impact crater in the metal.
Fear leaned forward, eyes wide. There was only one single creature he knew that could possibly do that kind of damage, with that kind of speed! It was impossible!
Gentler stood in front of the energy cell, clapping his gauntlet-ed paws together with a sour smirk spread across his face, eyes lidded. Cloak rustling behind him. There was a gash on his forehead, and liquid had been gushing down his face and staining his clothes. Fear couldn't see the color yet but he knew from experience it was blood.
Fear wasn't sure what had just happened, but during all of it Eden had started squawking in alarm.
“Hey there Fear. Miss us?” Gentler's voice was a low purr.
“Gentler! How'd you get here!? How'd you escape!?” Fear stood close to the energy door as Gentler took his gauntlet and rammed it into the control panel with the same magnetic pulse he'd used to take out the guard. SHUNK. And then a second later Gentler yanked out the wires with barely a care in the world, causing the beams to shut off with a worble.
Yeah, that was blood. A lot of it.
Gentler cracked his knuckles a few times, his muzzle dipping and wiggling. “Wrestlers have a special trick they use to hype up the audience called juicing. All I had to do was slice a claw across my forehead and bleed out until the guard assigned to us patrolled past me. Catch him by surprise. No big deal, Fear.”
A little spectral energy flowed through Fear's wide eyes, shimmering in his pupils for a split second as he stared at Gentler with gaping maw. He then pouted, jutting out his lower lip and thrusting his forehooves against the ground. “Damn! I really have to give you guys way more credit. You're amazing!”
Gentler cracked a grin, an arm across his chest and the other hand near his face flicking his fingers. “Oh ye of little faith. We have a pony in our party named Faith, how are you giving up so easily?”
Fear grinned forlornly, shaking his head wildly with twisted shut eyes. “You're right!” Fear clapped his forehooves against his cheeks and slapped himself a few times. “Let's get out of here! But first!” Fear stepped out from his cell, on top of the soldier, immediately sensing things all over again. Gentler's smirk was everywhere in his body, though there was a little concern etched in there too. Seemed he wasn't a hundred percent sure how they were going to get out of this either, if his deduction was right.
But Fear had a plan.
“Hey, Gentler,” Fear stated. “Can you please open this cell?” He pointed to the one across. “Were there any cells with occupants on your way here? And where are the others?”
Gentler shrugged his shoulders, hands in the air, and then slammed a fist through the control panel of the cell, all as Eden finally stopped squawking and shivered in his cell from the sudden changes going on around him. He yanked out the wires, causing the energy to dissipate immediately. “Faith is gathering the rest of your gear, Acrid is testing something. And no there weren't. You're near the very back of the train, Fear, next to the engine.”
Fear cocked his head at Gentler, and then winced in surprise when Eden threw himself at the little equine, wrapping him up in a giant hug, smothering him in chest plumage. Fear fell backwards, squeaking and barely kept from falling off the soldier to the floor from the bird's attack. “Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you! I don't know how I'm going to get off of here, or what I'm going to do, or anything like that, but... but it's a step forward!”
Gentler stared down at Fear with a raised eyebrow, arms crossed over his chest, smirking a tad. “New friend, Fear?”
Eden was squawking and crying, but also cold and numb all over. It was now apparent he was a mix of blues, blacks, and whites, with fantastical designs on his legs like tribal tattoos.
Fear merely pat him on the back a couple times, still wincing. It hurt a little to be touched. A gentle hiss escaped his lips. “Something like that, Gent.” He twisted his head. “Eden. Can you get off this train from the back? Maybe... I don't know. Fly away or something?”
Eden pulled away and stood up with only a slight limp, flexing his arms. “Yeah! You don't worry about me Fear! Just do what you have to do!”
“Hey Gentler?” Fear turned to look at his family.
“Yeah?”
“You still got that box of sunflower seeds in your backpack?”
Gentler's eyes widened slightly and he uncrossed his arms, yanking his backpack off and setting it on the ground. “Yeah, some. You want me to give them to him eh?”
“We got more than enough to go around,” Fear shrugged. “Right? And they last awhile.”
Eden was glancing between the two in confusion. “Sunflower seeds? I haven't eaten those in forever! You really have some?”
“Yeah,” Fear responded.
Gentler finished rooting around in his pack and pulled out the small box. It was actually an old cigarette container with a poppy on the cover but it worked for what they needed. He handed it off to Eden. “Here take this. Head for the rock farm, avoid the minefield, then go west til you reach Panthera if you can.”
Eden's eyes welled up with tears as he gripped it. “Really? For me? How can sunflower seeds be enough to last me that long?”
“It will, don't worry. You won't feel full naturally but it'll keep you strong,” Fear reassured, putting a hoof on his abdomen. Fuck it sucked to be small sometimes. Only reason he could reach that far was due to standing on the guard.
Eden juggled the box in a 'hand' a few times, tilting his head to the side. “Okay!” He nearly squawked. “I'll do it! Leave it to me!”
Fear smiled from ear to ear, letting his eyes fall shut and cocking his head slightly, pulling his forelegs together. “When you get to Panthera look for Clairity and Salmon Stoic. They should be able to help you out at least a little until you can find a home of your own. I'm sure there are places around there that might warrant your services. For now though...” Fear's stance returned to normal, a determined glare forming on his face as he looked down the way Gentler had come. “It's time for us to finish this for good.”
“By the way,” Gentler stated, rolling a paw. “Your Gallop wasn't there. Faith stayed behind to keep looking for it in case it was under one of the other things there. I'm sorry.”
Fear shook his head again. “No. It's alright. I know it's gone. The memories are vague but I know Zetta destroyed it and left it behind.” Eden was busy heading for the back of the train to make his escape.
Gentler's eyes took on a pitying gaze. “Alright then. Well I guess we have an umbran to give Tartarus.” His voice was calm, even, with a bit of a dark undertone. He cared a lot for Fear, Fear could tell.
“I still have the weapon care kit in my saddlebags. It sucks but I'll get over it.” Fear puffed out his chest confidently, giving a strained smile. Gentler merely tsked with closed eyes and a smile and spun around, cloak billowing behind him as he put back on his backpack, heading for the front of the train.
“Time to make tracks, Fear!” Gentler's voice bellowed.
Fear chased after his friend and family member on three hooves instantly, still a little uncomfortable about Gentler's cascade of blood. He'd check on Eden later in his dreams, if possible. For now... they had to get this train stopped. Passing from car to car was uncomfortable because of all the terrain speeding past them.
On the way to meet up with Faith and Acrid, passing by multiple knocked out satyr soldiers along the way (Fear was impressed, to say the least) there were many rooms. Cabins to relax in, battery rooms that powered the rest of the train and kept a constant conduction of soul power pumping through the entire thing, humming constantly, working efficiently. That and also rooms that were merely filled with weapons (though to be fair that was nearly every room, some just more than others). Every carriage had a very large hatch on the ceiling leading to the top in order to provide maintenance to that particular train car, and alongside that the weaponized carriages had multiple turret bubbles inset the walls and ceilings, made of plexiglass and Antithaum Steel alloys (which Fear only knew the scientific name due to Gentler using it in passing at one point).
It wasn't long, though it was after zooming through multiple carriages, that the group met up in the middle.
Faith moved to launch herself at Fear and pull him into a motherly caress, only to be beaten to the punch by a wild and crazy Acrid.
Acrid's dreads rustled as he slammed home into Fear. Fear for his part tried to push back against Acrid but with his lame leg and small size just ended up with him being tackled backwards to the ground and pinned under the somewhat larger young stallion. Acrid was grinning from ear to ear. “Fear! I can't believe you're okay! I tried to help you! I tried to seal away Zetta...” There was an unnatural hesitance in Acrid's voice and aura.
Fear assumed it was due to his guilt and the lingering bits of cowardice.
“I wanted to escape, I really did. I'm sorry Fear,” Acrid apologized pathetically. “Gentler saved us all.”
Fear rolled his eyes and simpered. “It's fine. You did your best. It'll be okay! I promise. We're gonna raise Tartarus on this train. Though...” He looked around a bit. “Looks like you lot already did just that without my help. Wish I could've seen it.”
Acrid buried his face into the smaller stallion's neck. Both of them still had blood staining their muzzles though it was dry. “Still! I'm sorry! I wasn't enough help! I almost lost everything again because I wasn't good enough!” There was an almost subdued sense of panic emanating from him.
Fear calmly reached around Acrid's back and gently stroked over his spine. “Shh... it's okay Acrid. I know what you're going through.” Then something clicked. Discord... he was trying to establish a point. Fear's eyes narrowed. He wanted me to rely on more than just a demigod. I did a lot for myself. I made so many connections and I'm still making more. I did all of that. I made these friends, this family, and we help each other. We are not independent, we are interdependent, like Dad said. “Listen, Acrid. We're a family okay? We pick up each other's slack. There's no shame in relying on those who have different skills sets than each other. We're not literally capable of everything. We'll succeed when it counts. Trust me?”
Acrid pulled up, looking down at Fear with watery eyes. For a moment Fear thought he was looking into his mother's crying eyes with how green they were. A shade darker, sure, but still very, very green. There was something also strange. Fear tilted his head a little, analyzing Acrid with a suspicious expression. He looked like a radioactive moon in some ways. “Thank you Fear. I guess... I'm just having a hard time. I don't show it...”
“But you've been experiencing a lot of depression and anxiety from the death of everything you loved, right?” Fear finished with a caring look in his eyes, almost fatherly or motherly.
Acrid nodded once, his lips straining. “Yes. I try not to burden you all with it, I'm always trying to push it off and cope. But it's a little too much sometimes.” It was one of the few times Acrid made himself so vulnerable, so much so it almost seemed out of character.
But this was a closer call than usual.
Fear reached up and did what had at one point been unthinkable. He muzzle nuzzled into Acrid's snout. “Don't worry. We've been through some traumatizing stuff. I'll ask Meels to come help you with it all if she can. Alright? We're not out for the count yet, as long as we can still heal.” Fear pulled away, tearing up a bit too.
Acrid's tail whipped to the side and he stood up from Fear, moving off to the side and wiping his eyes with a foreleg. “You're right. I'm sorry. This isn't the time. We have a satyr to kill.” Acrid looked down at the floor, then looked up with steeled features. “Let's do it.”
Faith approached Fear next while pushing his saddlebags and sword forward, Gentler in the corner with arms crossed and sassy smirk spread across his face. “Fear... I'm sorry.” She bowed her head and shook it. “I couldn't find your Gallop. I think it's gone for good.”
Fear shrugged a shoulder, before reaching out with a hoof and tilting Faith's head up by the chin. “Look. I'm not going to lie. It's not fine. But we've got bigger things to worry about than a sentimental object with a bunch of memories attached to it. Mom will always be in my heart, and while it sucks to have a piece of my arsenal eliminated... that's what all you are for.”
Faith couldn't help but smile slightly. “You're a strong colt, Fear. You always have been.”
“Pssh. Not even slightly. Thank you though Faith.” Fear chuckled sourly to himself. “Now let's get going.” He looked between his four comrades and held a foreleg in the air, leaning on his splinted dead leg. “To the future, right?”
“To the future!” The other three called out.
And then they were off for the front of the train after Fear gathered up his things.
As they walked calmly, in no rush and saving their energy, Acrid punched Fear in the shoulder. “By the way, Fear.”
Fear glanced at Acrid with curiosity.
“While I was having a... sort of breakdown in my cell I remembered something.” The only thing that filled the air was clacking of hooves and greaves, everyone carrying their gear.
“What'd you remember?” Now Fear was really piqued.
“The scientists used to theorize around me, and try to get me to do it... to manipulate solid carbon, things using it. One of the fundamental aspects of steel and oil, y'know?” Acrid occasionally looked to Fear, before staring at the ceiling, shrugging a shoulder, the dreadlock that hung over one of his eyes bobbing with every step. “I've also considered whether or not, like they said, I could manipulate sand and glass. I'm going to try using it in our fight with them, if there's any plexiglass in the carriage. When I used to do it in the labs it was impossible and it felt like I was splitting my ability in twain, but I think...”
Fear's grin reached untold proportions. It was amazing to see Acrid so inspired.
In a way, it was also arousing.
“I can do it now. My feeling's at an all time high, and I'm not letting anything stand in my way.” Acrid finished.
“I like that idea,” Fear purred, “Princess Luna told me something similar. That I should be trying to take a harder stance, make firmer boundaries. Push my boundaries and not let anything stand in my way.”
The two simpered at each other, their gazes meeting for the briefest of moments. Fear then looked to the others, his gaze lingering on each in turn. “I love you guys.”
Gentler leaned forward, shrugged with a huge grin, then returned to his normal position, while Faith bowed her head and tried to suppress the giant smile edging across her face. Acrid looked calm and content. “We love you too,” Faith responded.
“Zettaaaa!” Fear's scream was dark, filled with aggression, animosity, and vengeance. An emotional outpouring. His familiar feminine voice crying forth. It was long, drawn out, contained in the chamber, enough to concern his family. While most could not make such a voice sound threatening, Fear succeeded. He held his lunar quartz sword in his telekinetic aura next to his face, edge pointed toward his foes. His three companions fanning out behind him.
The carriage was host to one of those familiar hatches in the ceiling, four turrets (two on each wall) and a console at the front (the windshield made of plexiglass) for controlling the entire vehicle.
Zetta had been busy speaking with Seele, both of them glancing back toward where they heard the voice.
For the briefest of seconds, Fear saw fright flit across the sadistic, vengeful umbran's eyes. There were no words, just that hint of things not going according to plan. Then a righteous fury bubbling across his zombified face made of glossy necromantic energy. “You!” Zetta seethed. Not even a 'how.' It was pretty clear from the bloodied Gentler just how.
Acrid stepped forward, up next to Fear, taking a battle ready stance with legs spread, getting low to the ground. “You're not winning this time, Zetta! We've got you cornered!”
Zetta merely grinned, closing his eyes and shaking his head. Seele was getting antsy, preparing for combat and slamming metal fist into metal hand. He still had the numerous dings, dents, and spiderweb cracks. Evidence of their previous efforts. “There's four of you. In a tight space.” Zetta began pacing back and forth. “You're liable to hit each other, whereas I can subsume into the shadows and fight from within Seele.” Twisting around, Zetta smirked, the squad able to see through his stringy cheeks to the jagged teeth beneath. “And neither of you four can hide in the shadows that I command.” Zetta ceased his movement, glaring down at them from his high horse.
Fear drew on every single inch of his family's charisma, his voice pre-planned and violent. “Wanna bet, Zetta!? I have the perfect plan for taking you and your insipid host out from this world.”
“You don't even have the soul rifles!” Zetta scoffed with the barest hints of uncertainty in his voice. “You're bluffing!”
Fear grinned to one ear. “Wanna try me?” He got low to the ground, preparing to bum rush them, Gentler and Faith behind him getting into their own battle ready stances.
Zetta's face cracked. After the previous underestimation he wasn't going to do that again. He turned to Seele for a split second, then flicked his head toward the others. “Separate them, Seele. They can't fight as well without Fear, and he can't fight as well without his companions. He's clearly hurting, it's plain on his face. You can take him out on your own.” There was a purring confidence to his voice, sure that this plan would work.
Fear ground his teeth together, glaring triumphantly. This was as he'd expected. As he'd wanted. Crate and Angel would be proud of his molded bluffing skills. His head swept back, then tilted in the direction of their foes. “You guys take care of Zetta. I know you can. It's time for my rematch with Seele.”
Zetta's confidence was massively offset by Fear's, and it showed on his face and stumbling posture, feeling like a cornered rat. The look on the faces of the others only exacerbated that concern.
Fear twirled his sword in the air, getting ready for the first attack. Seele hardly noticed, just preparing for the rematch. This was the moment the smaller stallion lived for, that moment where his enemy wavered, where they knew they were fucked. His tongue slipped from between his lips and dragged over them, leaving a trail of saliva before retreating.
This was going to be exciting. His telekinetic grip strengthened on the hilt of Shaybna. He could feel her desire to end this once and for all. Her desire to survive, to not be used as fuel. She was teeming with trepidation and need. As she called out to him, he reassured her that he had a plan. Even if it was just a theory.
Zetta was the first to speak, while Seele was the first to make a move. “Even if you have a plan as you imply the worst possible foe you can fight is a trapped beast! And I am more intelligent and experienced than all of you combined!” Seele meanwhile dashed forward in an attempt to grapple Fear.
Fear met Seele head for head, jumping into the grapple. Seele squeezed tight, enough to break his small body. Fear merely sank into the shadows of the magic resistant steel. Seele jumped, the thrusters on his feet igniting and forcing him up... and up. Breaking the hinges off the hatch above with the brute strength. So hard it not only slammed open, but with the screeching sound of wrenching metal, severed at the base and went flying into the air, only to be yanked backwards by the momentum of the train, bouncing across each carriage.
The last thing Fear heard was Acrid, with all the gathered confidence from the time spent traveling, declaring that an umbran who spent most of his life behind a seal wasn't as experienced as he wanted to think.
Gutsy.
There is nothing more inspiring than a scared opponent, Fear thought to himself as he was brought into the open air, the duo falling back down onto the train car behind the front. Your final mistake was letting my namesake get the better of you, Zetta.
Sunrise shone on the speeding combat train. Glinting off the inky metal.
Seele let out a tinny roar of excitement, pleasure, and pure power as he landed on the train car with a huge 'kachunk,' nearly denting the metal with the force. “Feeeeeeeeeeear!” His voicebox raged teasingly. “You're going to have to come out eventually!” According to his voice, this was merely a game to him.
Fear popped off the shadows, spiraling through the air back down the train cars, only slightly slowed down by the fact Seele was taking the brunt of the wind pressure and skidding along the metal, nearly blown back and off further down. Fear's ears were pressed back, his fur whipping behind him, tail sticking erect out behind him from the sheer force. “Gladly, Seele!” Fear puffed out his chest, holding himself high as the sword and saddlebags stayed fused to his shadows, a pane of telekinetic energy filtering in before him to keep from being blown back and make his movements more agile in the rush. “Come at me you fucking abomination!” Fear lifted a hoof, using a come hither motion to beckon him into the fray.
Seele charged.
Fear charged on three legs in return.
Seele pulled back one arm and threw it forward, ejecting the fist from the base. The jet blast back as it careened straight for the colt.
He leads into his attacks too much. Fear jumped off his healthy hind leg, getting a couple inches, then sending a burst of telekinesis below him to shove him up a little higher. Just high enough that when his body spun like a ribbon his back barely scraped the top of the fist which ground across the top of the train cars, eliciting a screech of metal. All brute strength, no technique. He breathed in deeply. Without the shield of magic it'd be difficult.
Seele jumped forward legs first, digging in his other hand into the metal and gliding over it as he brought a foot up to slam into Fear's face as they nearly met.
Fear, in the middle of his twirl, turned himself into shadows, the wind pressure from the speed of the train enormous, nearly sending him tearing backwards. His shadow melted under Seele's mechanical body and popped out from his head, spinning around to face where Seele was as he landed on the leading carriage.
Seele fell onto his side and quickly got back up, whirling around with a mechanical hiss. “There are no soul rifles on this train! How do you expect to make me feel pleasure again, colt!? This is merely a game of cat and mouse, a test of endurance that you will surely fail!”
Fear manipulated his vocal cords magnifying his voice. “I'm the Marvelous Spiral and I always find a way! Even if that means depending on others!”
For a fleeting second, Fear was certain he felt Discord's smile rain down on his mind.
“Even if you depend on others!” Seele shouted out. “You've still lost. They can do nothing to me. You're a disabled youngling, what do you and your friends hope to accomplish against a conqueror?”
Fear smirked, flicking his head to the side. “A little dumbass disability isn't going to stop me from being the best me I can be all the time, I'll work around it as much as I can! I'll try to work around any and every tragedy and come out on top!” Fear's voice was almost drowned out by the hum of the train, by the roar of the wind. Just need an opening. He slowly inched toward the blown open hatch. It didn't help his hind leg was starting to flare up, making him ground his teeth together.
Seele released a high pitched, guttural noise. “So you say! But all I must do is outlast you and your agility!”
Acrimony bubbled in Fear's stomach like acid as he realized just what Seele was capable of, what he would do, and it felt good, it was the feeling of vengeance, the feeling of a good fight against a dark opponent. Not since Corona had Fear felt this way. All of the knowledge of what would transpire if Fear failed here burned in his gut, making him flex his muscles. And that's when Seele noticed what he was doing.
“Running to your friends, are you!? I thought you could take me on yourself, you stupid colt!” Seele seemed enraged due to Fear's supposed retreat. “Come and fight me like a satyr!”
It was a bluff. Fear kept approaching the hatch. “Make me!” His tail was fluttering against his body, ears pushed forward as wind swept past him, not as strongly as it would without his shield.
“Gladly!”
Fear clenched a hoof, he knew what was coming as his eyes darted from side to side nervously. There was only one chance at this. A deep breath. Seele knew his methods by now, but he didn't know every move he was capable of! Seele brought his fists up...
And fired.
One fist careened straight for Fear as he muttered an incantation vehemently under his breath, eyes closed to keep himself calm in the moment. “Fires of life inspire their fervor, berserk!” He wove to the side.
Seele had expected that. What he hadn't expected was for Fear to bring his sword down on the fist as it passed by, scraping across the metal then swinging into the air and pointing tip down over Fear's head.
The effects were gentle at first, like a rising tsunami just starting out. One earth shattering tremor at a time building up. A light, smoldering ferocity as the second fist came flying at Fear at an angle in the middle of his movement.
Due to the lame leg, he couldn't move as fast as usual.
But that was fine.
Fear ducked, morphing into shadows as soon as the fist's shadow encroached on him. It was an instant, a split second, barely noticeable. It was like going invisible for the briefest of moments.
The fist crashed into where he was, the sword's tip slamming down into the Antithaum metal.
A roar undulated through Seele's soul.
Fear pulled out of the shadows as the fist passed by him, sunrise beaming over his body. He flicked his head. Opening his eyes. Seeing exactly what he'd predicted.
Seele wasn't a warrior.
Fear was. Though it was uncertain if his exceptional tactical skill was due to Seer's Eye taint or developed intelligence.
The mechanical menace had been leaning forward, leaping off his legs, the ring on his back spinning furiously as the thrusters on his feet activated, sending him careening forward. It scorched the metal under him as it shoved him along.
Fear closed his eyes, sword melting against his body. One more time. His chest jerking. This was it... just one more hopefully. It's your turn, Storm. Let's make up for what we couldn't do then with what we can do now. It wasn't a series of thoughts, it was merely a call to action, a powerful sentiment that flooded through him, along the connection with his tulpa.
Omega Storm leaped from his body, soaring into the air.
It was going to be dizzying.
As Seele made to crash into Fear, his body disappeared. Exactly as Seele had planned. He spun around, using the thrusters on the hands that had reconnected with his wrists to halt his forward momentum, brought his feet down, and ignited the thrusters where he stood, where he expected Fear's shadow to be.
Incinerate him alive. Disperse the shadows.
Fear's body was in the air, splooting as he fell back toward the train, a constant flow of telekinesis keeping the momentum from his time on the train alive and well. He brought the sword down on Seele's head, scraping off and to the side as one more violent surge of fire flowed into the robot's soul.
As Seele tried to glance up in startled, enraged confusion, a tinny scream emitting from his voicebox, Fear collapsed on top of his head, his hooves giving out under him.
Landing was not the part Fear had fully figured out as his body slid down the back, then as his telekinesis gave out his body was nearly flung backwards down the train, tumbling end over end. Dizzy... he nearly lost hold of his saddlebags in the shadows, knowing he'd break his legs if he hit the train's roof at the speed he was going with the intent to land. So he curled up into a roll.
BAM!
COUGH!
His spine hitting the metal hurt! His entire body freezing up as he was sent barreling further down, getting the wind knocked out of him.
And as he expected, a ferocious, out of control Seele was right on his heels intending to pummel him into paste.
Fear couldn't breathe, impact having torn his breath from his lungs, splayed on his side over the roof. For a moment he thought his death was about to come to him as Seele threw himself into a full body tackle. But on instinct, instinct that could have suffocated him, he seeped into the shadows up against Seele's body, winding around to the side and poking his head out in order to inhale massively so he could slink back in.
Seele was screaming. It was riding above the wind pressure, over the hum of the train.
Next step, Fear thought.
As Fear pulled off of Seele, energy gradually draining from re-utilizing the screen of telekinesis, he called on Shaybna for the next part of his plan. Soul tackle! He called in his mind, pointing the sword forward. The blade glowed, wielding what was normally a reconnaissance spell, and as Seele was climbing back onto his feet Fear's spirit ejected from his body.
On a crash course with Seele.
The robot didn't rock on his feet, but he did feel the slam of soul against soul, knocking his hold over his infusion loose. There was a moan of pleasure from the sensation of nearly being torn from his anchor.
Shaybna controlled Fear's form, forcing it to endure as Fear's spirit came careening back, gasping out loud.
Fear ran to greet Seele.
“You little shit! Hahaha, anyone ever tell you how impressive you are, Fear!?” Seele's voice raged with pleasure and violence, the heat of battle as he charged at him. “But none of your attacks can do anything to my body with or without your little improvisation!”
Fear threw himself at the robot, just glowering. No more time for words. Taking a deep breath again.
Seele readied to grab onto Fear, not knowing what to expect, but at this point he wouldn't be surprised if the stallion turned himself into a bullet, Seele's form vulnerable.
Fear buried himself into his opponent's shadow, winding around his shell.
Seele staggered backwards and tried to claw at where Fear was to cremate him with his thrusters.
One more, Fear thought. He ran through two swift incantations, yelling them in his mind's voice. Poison of mortis, inching ever closer, decay! Fires of life inspire their fervor, berserk! He wasn't sure if overlaying spells was possible or if it'd wipe out the previous but Fear was nothing if not a risk taker as he pulled the sword out of the shadows and swept it across Seele.
Two things happened at once. Exactly as the soul was pushed into a feverish rage, so was his body weakened, even if only slightly.
Just slightly enough. That magic resistant metal was just resistance after all.
In slow motion, Fear slithered and skittered over Seele's body, from point to point: under, top, to the sides, everywhere and pulling out just momentarily now and then to get a breath of fresh air. Seele was able to feel him winding all over him like the persistent, ugly bug he was. The souljar started hammering itself with its fists, pounding into its armored body and liquefying itself with its thrusters, twisting end over end, falling to the train, writhing around.
Fear once more performed his soul tackle while on top of him, able to feel victory in his grasp, assuring it even as his head felt light, breathing heavy.
CLANG!
SLAM!
CRACK!
SNAP!
CLANG CLANG CLANG!
CRICK!
The shell was breaking apart, slowly but surely, pieces breaking off, revealing chunks of vulnerable parts underneath, bits of sensitive machinery that helped Seele to function.
Fear darted toward the abomination's knee.
In his rage, not even understanding what he was doing, Seele brought the fist down onto it.
With a brutal CRACK and the screech of metal being ripped apart, the leg snapped in half. Seele fell to his side, moaning from the pain, from feeling his body separated. The body his soul inhabited. His spirit split apart like a Black Book spell.
Fear pushed up out of Seele's stomach, standing on top of him and looking down. “You think I'm done with you Seele!? Not even close!”
Seele wasn't sure what to make of it, disoriented by the severance.
“You may have an Antithaum metal exterior but what about your interior!?”
Fear, while twirling his blade, brought the tip down into the vulnerable souljar, ejecting his soul one more time and hammering into Seele's spirit, sending his control off kilter once more. And as he came back to his body, he exclaimed one more incantation.
“Firey mountains, uncontrolled inferno, incinerate!” As Seele looked up at the stallion with wonder using his cameras, his sensors recorded a sudden influx of dangerously volatile temperatures flooding into him.
And it only got worse.
As multiple overlays of magic formed over Fear's horn and over his sword, the blade caught on fire, before secreting, in droplets at first, pure magma. Draining into Seele's innards. Into his heart, into everything that made his body operate, made it function.
Pieces melted away, components turned to slag. Seele's tinny voice box screeched terribly, in pain and pleasure.
It eventually died off as even that was rendered useless.
Fear yanked his sword out. He knew Seele was still alive in theory, still contained inside his vestige. But alongside that, Fear also knew you could not add onto a souljar because the spirit had already infused a specific portion.
Seele was completely incapacitated. This was the end of the Storm King. As well as, hopefully, the satyrs' aggression. This neigh eternal entrapment, voiceless with only himself for company, his punishment for playing with such abominable forces and trying to spread that cancer to the whole of Equus.
And that's when the train thundered toward the bridge into Equestria proper, the soul engine's enchantments causing it to flow like a river over the break in the rails, its AI bringing it to the other side, flying across the air as if it had been repaired long ago.
Fear glanced around him looking down at the small sea near him. And put massive effort, his thaumic gland aching, into throwing Seele's husk of a 'corpse' overboard into the water.
Never to be heard from again.
“Feeeeeeeeeearshatterrrrrrrrr!”
Fear glanced behind him with exhausted, lidded eyes as he heard Zetta's fervent, wounded scream for vengeance. Ungodly and unnatural, like decay made manifest. His mane was flitting about in the air, nearly fluttering in his eyes, his tail pressed against his body. His hind leg hurt so much by this point, his jaw tightened. His skull throbbed like a nail had been driven in it. His spine was agonized. Heart sounding like a hurricane in his chest.
He couldn't take on Zetta right now, no matter how wounded the umbran was.
As the train passed into the shade of the pegasi's turbulent cloud cover, it felt like an omen of things to come.
“Acrid!” Faith cried out. “Now's your chance! Seal him!” She shoved Acrid in the shoulder with a hoof, coming up next to him.
Zetta immediately froze up, paralyzed from the idea Acrid had... remembered. Thinking about escaping immediately.
“I can't!” Acrid ground out between his teeth.
Confusion crossed Gentler's face and he stepped forward, putting a paw on his shoulder. “Why not?”
“I don't wanna talk about it! Now's not the time!”
Gentler and Faith were silenced by the enormity of Acrid's words. No quips, no honesty, just plain deflection in an unwitty way.
Zetta laughed maniacally. “Ahahahahaha! Is that so!? So this is the end, is it Acrid!? You can't do anything to me nor us! Your inane love will get in the way!”
Acrid slammed a hoof on the ground. “Quiet!” Causing the bottom of the train to vibrate, and then a slice of a section to erupt, breaking off with the tearing of metal and slamming against the hatch above, sealing it off. “You're not getting away from us! Fear's counting on us!”
Zetta held a hoof against his forehead, still cackling and occasionally wheezing. When he finally calmed down, he glared daggers at Acrid. “Oh, little pony. You misunderstand. I'm not getting away from any of you.”
There was a pause.
“You're stuck in here with me!” Zetta leaped into the fray.
Gentler whipped forward, pulling a fist down by his hip, turned upside down as he channeled the power of nullification into his gauntlet. All while shadows erupted from Zetta's body, scourging through the whole carriage.
As they were bathed in darkness, Gentler's fists and feet became the only source of light, brilliant beaming stars in the shade. They distorted and blurred with every movement, emitting the rays everywhere like a person dancing with glowsticks. His fist came up, slamming home into Zetta's neck.
Zetta staggered backwards as an explosion of light revealed his body.
“This is the end, Zetta!” Gentler hissed through his teeth, bringing a leg up in a roundhouse in quick succession, slamming into the side of the umbran's barrel, another snap of light as he stumbled to the side, necromantic and shadow magic warped from the connection.
Acrid lunged forward, screaming deafeningly as he yanked up not only the metal from the ground, moving the metal under Gentler's feet to give him a platform to fight on, but also ripped the plexiglass from the turrets into thousands of sharp shards that hung in the air around the Abyssinian and umbran.
Alongside that, Faith was charging up her weapon carefully, readying to blow a hole in Zetta, who was thrown onto the defensive.
Zetta became an undefined flow of necromantic energy, spinning around and trying to harass Gentler from the air, only to get snapped back and away by a fist or a leg, then scraped and gashed by a piece of plexiglass or steel flooring.
A bitter harassment without end, the necromantic horse's body becoming a flurry of movement. Unable to attack Acrid or Faith without shredding himself to pieces, and with Gentler acting as ferocious as he was, landing a number of blows across his body and negating Acrid's manipulation magic whenever it touched him, he couldn't spend time decaying the shield of spikes shielding him in, especially not the plexiglass which would take far longer due to including plastic.
Zetta roared, pieces of his body getting bashed up as every single slam home into his body released a cascade of light that filled the room and kept him from diving into the shadows and caused him to become stunned momentarily, unable to avoid the cat's reach. It was like a strobe light effect with every hit. Seizure-inducing and making everything look like slow motion.
BAM! FLASH. BAM! FLASH. BAM! FLASH.
Over and over again repeatedly.
Zetta was weakening, his movements were becoming sluggish. How in Tartarus were these three able to keep him on edge!? And he couldn't get too far away from the cat or the mare'd fire her cannon at him!
Faith yelled out. “You're trapped in here with us Zetta! Just like Fear wanted!”
Zetta's full body worbled at the idea that Fear had planned this from the start. Seele! What had happened to him!? Had Fear planned all of this!? The umbran was thrown for a loop and he did the only thing he could.
The umbran flew up toward the hatch, away from Gentler.
Blast of light revealed where Zetta was going. Moving away.
Faith fired her weapon at the ceiling.
As Zetta's body was nearly shredded apart from powering through Acrid's dome of shards, he dodged to the side as he heard the vworp, avoiding the shot as it blew a hole in the ceiling where the hatch had been.
And slid up and through, escaping.
There was a long pause as light filtered in through the hole, the others dazed a little from the strobe light effect.
“Feeeeeeeeeearshatterrrrrrrrr!”
“You're not getting away from us Zetta!” Acrid cried. He was going to be a hero just like Fear!
“Even if I can't kill your companions I can at least kill you when you're drained! Save my people from your toxic abuse!” Zetta's body turned to what looked like a gush of water, flickers of himself falling off his hind end as he approached Fear at a laggard pace.
“I'm not believing that shit anymore Zetta!” He smiled, knowing his family was okay, even in his lethargic state. He momentarily considered coming at Zetta with an illusion of love coating his sword, bluffing that it was from his friends and the satyrs on the train, but he wasn't sure if the necromantic aura would deteriorate it. “You are all so Celestia-damned redundant!” His tail was flicking out from him as he turned to face Zetta, hair and ears being blown back. Fur bristling backward. He looked fuzzy in that moment. Like he was going to poof outward when it was all over. The speed was intense, and the only thing keeping him in place was the telekinesis at his front to resist some of the pressure.
The urge for victory, the adrenaline high, everything he'd been through and come to accept gave him strength and brought out the shittalker within him. “You should've killed us when you had the chance! Because you're going down!” He brought a hoof up, twirled it, then stomped it into the metal roof.
As Zetta came up to rain attacks on Fear, the smaller equine just flowed into a series of extravagant dodges, often utilizing telekinesis due to his lame leg, knowing he couldn't risk getting touched by the necromantic energy. Whenever Zetta cornered him on the side of the train by coiling necromantic energy around him to keep him stuck, the cute little stallion let off a powerful, cracking flashbang to startle him and then tried to stab him with his sword.
“Your arrogance is unbecoming and your downfall! Acrid's going to seal you away for eternity, and none of you are ever coming back!” Fear spun around an attack and brought the sword around in a swipe that Zetta jumped over then tried to tackle Fear from above. Fear rolled forward out of the way.
“Umbrans are nothing!” Fear continued. “I beat a soul jar, I've beaten you umbrans time and time again. I beat a dragon. One single umbran is nothing compared to me!” Trying to get Zetta enraged.
Zetta pulled away, smirking. Which alarmed Fear more than his next words could have. “Oh? And what about Acrid's sacrifice? You going to just let him do that? I'm surprised you're willing to give up your friend for the sake of an endeavor that will one day wear down too.” Even if he couldn't beat Fear, he could at least destroy his confidence! Destroy his psyche! Siphon despair from him! “Despair is inevitable, Fear. All ponies in the wasteland feel it, why do you fight us from experiencing our feeding ground?”
Fear shoved the shock from his system. Not letting you get to me that easily! And he could feel Acrid's presence approaching, slowly but surely. They were going to win! “You want to control the world, all of it! There is no limit to your power hunger!” The various different factions that existed in the wasteland, the ones he knew of at least, flashed through his mind. Their methods to attain prosperity. Leo and Lisa's refusal to help were included in it. Fear grit his teeth, letting out a tired roar. “And there may be no way for everyone to agree on a method to rise up, but I will always continue loving the unlovable, I will protect it all from the likes of you no matter what I must do! You're just trying to rile me up, I'm above your stupid tricks! I had an existential crisis, but no more. What you were going to do to me wasn't my fault, it was yours! You're toxic! The epitome of what's wrong with your kind. There are those of you who are good, but you're not one of them!”
Zetta was stunned speechless at the stallion's gall, at his confidence, almost able to feel it like a tangible substance despite not being an empath. His jaw gaping open, feeling Fear to be a fool. And fools were the worst enemy of umbrans.
Fear proclaimed, “I'm going to get justice for you destroying my mother's rifle, all in your hopes to break me down! You should have gone further, should've overkilled me! Because I promise I'm above letting my despair control me now!”
Zetta flowed into an attack that Fear continued dodging, the only thing keeping him going being sheer anger. “What do you hope to accomplish!? We know of your pain! The world's hurt you too and you would protect it!? Despite it continuing to hurt you!?”
“You got that fuckin' right Zetta!” Fear screamed, weaving around him. I have a job, I have a life, and the umbrans are interfering with that. I can't talk them down, and Zetta had every intention to torture me to the brink and beyond. This is my final chance! No giving up! No letting my body give out! It's not my fault!
“Zetta!” Acrid yelled, halting Fear and the umbran in their movements. “Get the fuck away from Fear. Seele's not here to save you from me this time!” Now that Fear could see him clearly, he noticed the older stallion was covered in a field of floating, undulating, twisting plexiglass and steel.
Zetta pulled away from Fear. He thought about escaping. His eyes darting from side to side. He was wounded, he could tell how weak he was. Acrid was fresh, Fear was on his last legs.
“Even if you kill me!” Zetta shouted. “I will at least kill your little friend here! Your reasons are shallow! We are fighting for freedom, prosperity, for power! You are merely fighting to delay the inevitable!”
Fear lunged at the umbran with his sword.
Zetta countered the stab by sending out a pulse of telekinesis so powerful it sent the sword flying out of the stallion's weakened grip.
Toward Acrid.
As Zetta lunged at Fear to kill him, Acrid caught it out of the air in his manipulative field, bringing it to bear, leaping forward, and thrusting.
Fear rolled to the side away from Zetta as the sword pierced the umbran's belly, skewering through to the other side. “Nothing shallow about it! You ever heard the changeling... haah... creed!? From beginning to end, through every trial we must face, ever onward we persevere, for the glory of the hive, and the unification of all who stand for the source of all love! And I won't let my hive down. This world is my hive! And we are its champions!”
Zetta was stunned speechless, for the second time that day.
And as Fear's faltering telekinetic grip surrounded Shaybna, he knew his end was coming.
The light around Zetta distorted. The kenaz rune activated, and with a powerful burst of light, Zetta exploded into slivers.
Fear wobbled on his hooves, barely staying up. Acrid let all but the shield behind him, stopping the air pressure, fall to the roof and rushed to hold his partner, his lover up. “Fear!” Acrid cried.
A sketchy orb came out from where Zetta's body had been, and shunted into the sword, creating a new rune.
Screeching sounded as the train was pulled to a gradual stop in Equestria's limits. Seems Gentler and Faith figured out how to use the controls Acrid thought. Fear could only feel the satisfied emotion radiating from his friend... partner?
Fear leaned against Acrid, letting his eyes fall shut for a nap. “We gotta stop the umbrans now, Acrid. Once and for all. Are you ready?”
Acrid squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to tear up, trying not to have second thoughts. It was his time. He needed to be strong for Fear.
Fear tried to assume Acrid was just worried about the journey. That was it, right? That was all it was?
Probably not.
Acrid opened his eyes, steeling himself as he looked at Fear's twisting face. A light coming to his eyes that, as Fear gazed up at him, he hadn't seen from him before. Something determined and flaming. “I'm ready to be a hero, Fear.”
Princess Luna, Acute Sway, Amelioreit Reverie, and Nyxaura Ripple (although barely anyone knew his full name) stood in a four-point star surrounding Fear. The small stallion stood in the middle, gradually lowering onto his haunches as his heart hammered in his chest. His family was proud of him for what he'd accomplished. Luna wished she'd had someone like him in her service long ago. Fear just brushed it off. Saying Shaybna and his other family members were the real winners in that fight.
Saway slapped him upside the head and told him to just take the compliment. Nyx was impressed, Amelio haughty and satisfied.
But now they had an entirely different goal in mind, as they sat on the moon cultivating the power at their hooftips, their hooves touching together, with Fear as the cornerstone of the spell. There was a sensation of static charge in the air, the scent of ozone, and the pressure of willpower and focus being exerted, all of it concentrated on the center.
Luna called on the liminal space, summoning hypnagogic powers that whirled around her.
Amelio narrowed her peace on their focal point.
Nyx borrowed the power of those he'd known from his past, aiding the princess in her summoning.
Saway cried out for the nightmares in her heart, those attached to her soul and those on the moon.
Fear just tried to look inside himself but... didn't have any inspiration. He didn't know what to seize in his own mind. The Fearshatter spell seemed so far away from him, so beyond him.
As the others channeled their power, creating a stable current, it felt as though their psyches were going to tear apart and disperse into motes of thought. Eventually small orbs of light looking like multi-pointed pinpricks rose from Luna's mind, surrounding the group and shimmering, sparkling, and twisting about.
Amelio was familiar with the motion, it reminded her of the chains of destiny, but shaped as stars rather than four dimensional polyhedrons made of crimson chains.
Fear merely tried to suss the dormiens out from their little corners of the place beyond consciousness. He knew their signatures well enough by now, that common ingredient that made up their souls.
They all kept their eyes shut softly as Luna finally spoke, her voice bellowing on the moon. “As we discussed, Fear, we will harness the power of your namesake and infuse these viral vectors, scatter them across the Liminal Space, and inject it with this programmed power.” She paused.
“Let us begin.”
Saway was the first to poke Fear's mind, her raspy voice sounding out. “Colt. Think back on Linebreiker, the time when you defeated her.”
The currents worbled as a sensitive, tender issue was brought up in Fear's mind.
“Yes?” Fear tentatively asked. “What about her?” It was only Fear's ability to meditate that resisted the current’s instability.
The world hummed with various asynchronous chiming notes like one would imagine a crystal to generate.
Saway spoke again. “Think back to it, what spurred you to fight her? We told you to, but what was your reason? What did you see in the future back then?”
Fear was hesitant at first. “I saw the potential in others, I saw that others could do miraculous things with a little bit of prodding. After going through it myself, I wanted to make sure everyone had an opportunity to do that. I...” He opened one eye briefly. Amelio was staring at him.
“Go on, Fearei,” Amelio nodded once to encourage him. “Let it flow.”
Eye falling shut again, he continued. “Hmm... I guess I forgot about a lot of it? Of what it meant to me back then.” The stable current vibrated again, nearly losing control as sensitive issues arose. “As Faith shot me. I lost control. I lost my past and future not because she killed me, but because I gave up on that fact for the briefest of moments, and Breiker used that to steal it from me.” Fear cringed forward, then rocked back. “But when I reattained it... as Amelio's presence warped inside of my mind, I remembered what I had forgotten. That the potential is not lost.”
Nyx pushed Fear forward. “Yet you've had a hard time trusting your family. You felt reluctant to trust them with the Overvalkying, as you told us.”
Fear nodded, pushing out his lower lip, jaw tensing. “Like the hero in my new novel, I'd seen them falter. I'd seen them at their worst. I'd seen them fail. And I suppose I just wasn't over that yet. I'd seen my mother fail when I was so sure she could take on the world and get anything done.”
“And yet you are now more powerful than her,” Luna finished for him.
“Yeah. The novel's hero reconciled with it all, but I never did.” Fear bowed his head, starting to have second thoughts.
“It is okay, Fearei, keep going.” Amelio's voice was soft, gentle, at peace. “You can do this. We will walk you through a new epiphany. I feel we are close.”
Fear mumbled something under his breath and breathed in deep through his snout. “All of those things traumatized me. Gave me trust issues. Not only that but I haven't forgiven myself. There are a lot of things I technically haven't forgiven myself for, even if I'm slowly moving forward despite. I couldn't be there for me, no one could be there for me when I killed that colt and father. I couldn't be there with my family for Breiker, and I couldn't be there for my mother.” He squeezed his eyes shut. The frequencies of the magical spell were fluctuating, becoming unstable.
“Calm, Fear,” Luna whispered. “We are here for you.”
Fear's eyes popped open. “Yeah. You are. Discord's also been there for me, just differently.”
The others froze up, stiffening.
“He's been trying to get me to rely on myself. But he didn't want me to rely on myself. He wanted me to rely on my ability to bring others to my cause.” Fear's voice gathered confidence. “He wanted me to tear the world a new one with my power and the power of others. Just like you're there for me. I was lucky to meet you all, but in the end I earned this. I need to learn to trust you all and myself more. You're all doing this because... because we are in it together. We all have our own specialties. Our own importance. Anyone could be where I am.” The emotions were beginning to flood like tears out the eyes, but without the crying. “I've been focusing on all the negatives, all the things I couldn't do, because the negatives are what made my world what it is. And I thought that...”
Amelio smirked slightly.
“I thought that if I kept focusing on the negatives, I'd be able to avoid the mistakes of the past. But... but... I need to accept it, discard it. Be careful, but move on. That was how I healed every time. I didn't heal because I beat myself up over shit, I healed because I moved past it, and made myself better.“ Fear's eyes gained a bit of luster. “I need to accept, be content with the negative. It's resulted in me constantly seeking what isn't, to the point I couldn't see what is. I couldn't see what Gentler was capable of, how he was able to get us free all on his own.” Fear grit his teeth, seething heatedly. “I need to... need to do both.” It seemed so obvious in hindsight! How could he be so dumb? Fear's breath came out in hissing pants. His body flexed. Magic pulsed around his horn. The hum turned to a vibrant thrum.
Fear continued. “Back then, back with Breiker, I was beginning to see the beauty in my flaws. The beauty in the flaws of others. The beauty in my inability. How everything had its place. And I was pushed away from that revelation just as I was getting close. I can see the passion in anger, the strength when it's controlled. I've utilized it multiple times. I see the hard work and endeavors in struggle, I see how meaningful it is.” His voice was rising in volume, slowly but surely. “I see the passion in it! I see the sickness in sadness, and how it contrasts with the times you're well! I see the difference between when I've been damaged, with the times I've been at my healthiest. And I've experienced its fluctuation like all of life.”
The others lifted their heads, feeling the magical output increase. Letting Fear get it all out, come to his finale.
There was a mild pause. Fear's face was scrunched up, the emotions overwhelming him.
Amelio's voice rang out. “Keep going, Fearei, we are almost there.”
Saway next. “We can't stop now, colt.”
Nyx merely nodded. “You're doing fantastic, Fear. As always.”
Luna smiled serenely. “Your efforts have always amazed me.”
Fear pulled from his deepest trenches, pulling on his strength, his voice cracking with raw emotion. “I saw, and I see, that it's an experience to be had, and to be revered. The grace in failure, and the determination to keep going anyway. The heftiness of the fall, the profoundness of a downward spiral. These things, these coping mechanisms.” His voice came with a powerful resonance, amplifying his magic. “Avoiding putting my family in danger isn't helping me. Being scarred by my mother's death wasn't aiding me. It was holding me back! I gotta trust all of you, trust myself, and I gotta stop letting my doubts control me! I had it all well in hoof, my plan to defeat Seele and Zetta was nearly perfect.” There was a pause.
“And our plan to defeat the dormien is perfect too!”
Spectral electricity crackled and leaped off of Fear's body, zapping along the ground and bouncing in the air, eddying and twisting, jagged wires throwing about from Fear's form and stinging the stars filling the air around them.
Everyone felt the new presence, but they kept their eyes shut. It was Discord. His paws were on Fear's shoulders. “And it will be perfect enough, Fear.” Discord's voice enunciated from the void. “You've been here for everyone, even if 'they' haven't always seen it. You've done your fair share. Let us move toward the future with you.” Fear had a lot to explain. Just like the draconequus to sow chaos at such a pivotal moment. Fear's brow creased as a strange celestial symbol permeated in his mind's eye, looking flawless until you admired the keen details.
Chaos magic shunted into the beaming stars surrounding the group, giving it a dose of change so that it would inevitably evolve as a spell alongside the Dormien's attempts to get free.
Fear's voice was enraged, his face squeezed up, an outpouring of emotion funneling from his body. Teeth grit, sound coming out in a hiss. “It's time I let go! It's time I learned to rely on others and myself! On friendship! Harmony! Discord! And everything else in the world to get shit done! I realize I'm not just connected to magic!!” Fear's voice echoed on the moon, invigorating his on-edge allies. It felt like they were being charged with lightning, their fur standing on end. “I'm connected to my family! Zetta was wrong, I was wrong!” That's why Discord didn't help me, because he was trying to teach me to rely on others and what I've already done, not a demigod with near unlimited power. Even if he could do anything he wasn't supposed to! It's why he's been hiding his intent! “It's okay to be bailed out! Dayvie and Eden were right, I should try to find a way to be happy and at peace with my circumstances all the time, not just when it suits me. I shouldn't be afraid to lose others, we'll always have enough, we'll always be enough!” Fear's eyes popped open, white washed. Jaw hanging open.
The thrum built up into a steady, coursing electrical whine.
“I'm discarding this, finally! I gotta... gotta break through to the other side!”
With that, an inordinate, terrifying amount of emotion funneled into his thaumic gland, being converted into an incredible volume of magic, the Fearshatter spell fully unleashed. It engulfed them all in polychromatic hues, zapping between each and every one of them like they were Tesla coils.
Luna finished with a calm, solid incantation. “We must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.” Power rose, power screamed from them. Everything tremored around them. “We will face our fears, permit them to pass over us and through us.” As Luna spoke, her voice took on the old Royal Canterlot edge and volume. “And when it has gone past, we will turn our inner eyes to see its path! Where the fear has gone, there is only emptiness! Only we will remain!”
The shuddering stars evaporated, being teleported into the liminal space to be dispersed to every single edge, in specific points where they would be most useful, bridging between each other and creating a protective cage, a firewall around the expanse. They hung in the air, thrumming, humming, pumping and whining as power convulsed in their cores, before the Fearshatter spell, and everything else the quintet had gathered between themselves, was injected into the void. There was no 'surface' to prick. As the stars imploded.
Multi chromatic spiderweb cracks exploded, spiraling outward, then connecting each thread like a snowflake, expanding and pulsating outward, taking on the whole of Liminal space, going to the edges and beyond. Taking Kioku's field of consciousness and cleansing it of impurities. Of those who wished to siphon despair.
It went so far beyond, that every living creature that was awake looked to the sky in a mass movement. Feeling a sense of purification that sent the hackles rising on end. A trail of goosebumps spinning through the mind's eye, along the neural matter. One that was quickly dismissed as an electromagnetic phenomenon or something similar.
Those who were asleep felt a sense of peace and power that had no explanation. No nightmares would come this morning, nor likely ever again as long as Luna had something to say about it.
Fear's, Nyx's, Amelio's, Luna's, and Saway's voice rang out on the moon, the nightmares joining in the symphony and screeching as power was released from them into hypnagogic space. Before they stiffened and slumped slightly, Fear actually falling over onto his stomach, his head throbbing, awareness bouncing in and out.
And as they quieted down, a dying roar escaped the liminal space, causing reality to shake. A whole species murdered in one fell swoop. Finally considered toxic to the liminal space. Their goals, their being, their information gathering, obliterated. As if there had been a snap and then... nothing. The spell had removed them in totality.
The others looked up, around at each other, then laughed. They could feel the difference. A difference in tension, a difference in atmosphere. Fear and Amelio confirmed it. They felt no dormien anymore.
They were dead.
Luna spoke up. “You have a lot to tell us, Fear. You've been hiding a lot, it seems. But I shouldn't complain, I asked you to hide my presence from the world and let me deal with it as it comes, after all.”
Fear just sighed, twisting his head to the side. “In time...” he whispered. “I gotta recharge my batteries first, then go check on everyone.” He smiled. “But first... let's go back to your dream-bubble, Princess.” There was a playful tone to his voice at the utterance of her title.
The others just glanced between each other again, feeling accomplished, proud, satisfied, and relieved.
They had done it.
They could return.
The nightmares receded from Luna's moon, revealing it to the world once more. Lunar eclipse... gone.
While Nyx prepared to send the lot of them back, everypony except himself at least, Amelio approached Fear from ahead. “Fearei. I have something to show you.” Her tone was a little conspiratorial, a bit awkward, as if she wasn't entirely up to what she had to do. A foreleg was held against her chest.
Fear cocked his head slightly. “What is it Meels?”
“Voila,” she declared while holding a hoof out and tearing a hole in spacetime. On the other side was a lounge filled with various shades of orange and purples, as if the entire place had been painted with a sunset in mind, with no single other color anywhere. With a smile on Amelio's face, Fear balked.
“Show me what??” He sounded confused, a little taken aback. Fear poked his head through and looked around. It was definitely a lounge! Like a rich person's living room, but rather quaint. One would expect there to be a pleasant vinyl record playing in the background. Victorian in appearance.
Amelio merely stepped behind Fear and shoved him in while giggling, sending him tumbling through to the other side. “Have fun with Kioku, Fear,” she quipped, waved, and then sealed the rip shut as if zipping up a hole before it poofed away. Luna approached Amelio trying to figure out what she'd done, and she explained. Not that Fear was there to hear.
The space beyond had an altogether much different atmosphere to it. Kind of melty, sort of stagnant. It was like being trapped inside a humid room while sleeping, as though you were going to become a puddle and explore every nook and cranny. That was how Fear felt at least.
“Please,” a sultry, masculine voice came from behind a door. “Make yourself comfortable, Fear.” A gentle, singsong caw tittered in the background.
Fear was hesitant, his ears flicking as he looked around. The setting was a little atrocious, but it was certainly cozy in an odd way. It just felt like he was... stuck, if such a thing made sense. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. Yet it was far from uncomfortable. It felt like he'd been caught within a room of lukewarm pillows. Fear casually approached the sofa near a writing desk and jumped onto it, before flopping his rear down on its side and holding himself up with weak forelegs. With a little bit of telekinesis he pulled a lavender pillow toward himself and let his body flop onto the fancy cushion. The place had an aesthetic he'd never seen before, but it was far from unpleasant.
Just a bit stuffy, if anything. Rather sophisticated rather than homely, though it was that too.
When Fear was finally finished looking around, as if on cue, the door to Fear's side opened up and an avian stepped out. It was a bipedal crow, much like what Eden had been like – clearly the same species, or at least portraying himself as something similar. He wore fancy Victorian clothing made up of greens and purples, with a tuft of a tail behind him that resembled charcoal coat tails but made of plumage. His chest was thick, ample, somewhat protruding albeit without cleavage - a sort of proud, hawk-ish quality. His beak craned at the tip in a fanciful manner. The eyes though... they were a pool of glossy gold with piercing honey-colored rods spilling in the center, almost overtaking the pupils. Kioku, as he was named, had a pair of purple pince-nez glasses on his beak, and was carrying a tray with two mugs of coffee.
Kioku set the tray down on the table in front of Fear, and sat in the luxurious chair across from him. He sat back, adjusted his shoulders, and slowly sank into the cushion. He leaned forward merely to pull the mug off the tray and raise it to his lips.
“Your glasses are pretty cool, kind of fancy.” Fear stated simply, trying to make conversation, immediately falling into the flow of social requirements. It was only one other person after all! “My mother wore glasses.”
“I'm aware, Fear.” There was an amused grin in his voice as he took a sip and sighed, leaning back again and relaxing. “It has been a long time since I've had company.”
“Where'd you get your glasses from?”
“More of a construct, than an actual pair.” Kioku twisted a feathered wrist a few times, rolling his eyes to the side. “Please, have a sip. I want you to feel at home.”
Straight to the point, “Why'd you want me to come here? You clearly asked Meels to bring me but... why?”
Kioku lifted, then rolled his shoulders. “Mmh. Just want to thank you for taking care of the dormien and offer a proposition.”
A frustrated purr escaped Fear's lips, eyes lidding. “Why aren't the others here? They did a lot too, you know.”
“I know,” Kioku stated simply. “I'll be thanking them in due time. Granting them something they desire, provided it is within my power.”
Fear finally acquiesced and rolled a hoof, his horn lighting up as he picked up the mug and brought it to his lips, draining it down his throat. It was warm coffee. He only knew because of its texture and the hints of cream mixed in, due to having had the stuff from an MRE once. Only it was a much different taste than the bitterness he was used to. It had a light, sweet and fruity flavor with a hint of spice or nuts. “What exactly is this?” He cocked his head, looking down into the dark broth.
“A roast made from coffee beans sourced from a tropical resort. Do you like it?” Kioku's grin had returned, looking down his small pince-nez glasses at Fear, then taking another sip of his own beverage.
“I do. It's right up my alley.” Fear's eyes darted from side to side. “You've been watching me haven't you?”
“Yes, you and the others. What can I say? The lot of us gods like to get around.”
“This isn't just about the dormien is it?”
“A little...” Kioku cooed.
Silence filled the air as the two drank their coffee.
Fear deadpanned. “You guys have it all wrong. I'm not all that great.”
“What makes you say that, Fear?” A curious, needling tone to Kioku's voice.
Fear sighed, lowering his shoulders, having adjusted himself to be sitting up, on the cushion he'd pulled to him. “All of this.” He whipped his head from side to side, then gestured with a hoof. “This bullshit. This welcoming committee. All of you. Just... need to leave me alone. There are so many others that deserve this kind of treatment. I'm not the only one doing important things.” His voice was a little forceful, a kind of rough grunt.
“Don't worry too much about that, Fear. The others will get their just desserts in time, especially as you continue to work hard and put in the effort. If you suddenly were to stop then... things might not go as they should. But it is like that for everyone and their efforts, as I'm sure you understand.”
Fear was shaking, then sighed, setting his mug down. He lifted a hoof and pressed it against his forehead. He was trembling. “I don't... understand. What are you? What do you want with me? Why can't you approach the others first? What is so special about me?” There was a knowing hint in the last question, as though Fear had already ascertained why but didn't want to believe it.
“I am a harbinger of balance. I exist on the cusp of everything. Twilight is my domain. Everything that switches sides passes through me. I am the icon of defection, the deity of what can be. Lingering potential, the moment before an explosion as the chemicals mix together. The seesaw between remembering and forgetting, containing that which is on the fringes of oblivion and creation. That which repairs.” Kioku poetically phrased, rolling a feathered hand and setting his mug down. “As for what I want with you, it is as I said, to give you a gift.”
Fear had finally had enough, he hopped up onto his legs suddenly and with a powerful show of telekinesis upended the table in front of him, sending everything crashing to the ground. He was breathing heavily, quaking in place. His expression wasn't one of fury, but fright. A strange juxtaposition.
The two remained silent for a time. Kioku just analyzed Fear.
Fear finally sat back down and held his face in his hooves. “I'm sorry.”
Kioku merely snapped his fingers, and everything was back to the way it was before. “Don't be. You're under a lot of pressure right now. You're treading a very fine ledge at the moment, and I don't blame you. Just make sure you don't let yourself tip over the edge in reality and you'll be fine.” The crow picked up his mug again and sat back. “You have a lot of explosive energy in you right now.”
“I don't understand why I'm here.”
“I can't answer all of your questions, Fear,” Kioku stated simply. “They are answers you must come to for yourself. Come to accept for yourself. You're close to grasping it.” He sipped his drink. “Just try to relax a little for now and drink some coffee. It'll help sooth you.”
Fear was silently crying, his chest feeling heavy. After the epiphany from earlier his mind was exhausted and he was teeming with unresolved, undigested emotions. He wiped his eyes and took his coffee, carefully drinking it. He swallowed hard. Eventually he spoke once more. “You already said you wanted to give me a gift. I assume you can't tell me your full reasons for it, and I assume it's not just because I helped you with the dormien.” He looked around. “I also get the feeling, the fact that we're not rushing things, this is a place of halted time.”
“All valid observations,” Kioku stated simply. “You are correct on all counts.” He simpered slightly, tilting his head smugly. “You are a clever stallion, picking up on small details and extrapolating. Of course you are not perfect. Your fight with Seele proved that.”
Fear looked up, huffing. “Yeah? What do you know about it?” He sounded combative.
“Well, for one, you could've transformed yourself to soften the blow upon landing on the train. Maybe you wouldn't have been forced to take a nap then.”
The fury seeped out of Fear like steam, his body turning into jelly and nearly collapsing. “You're right...” he muttered. “I hadn't fully planned out how to land. In hindsight it was obvious. But I'm still growing.”
“You are still growing. Mistakes usually turn out for the best but still your potential is great, and the way you live your life...” Kioku sipped his drink and took a moment to swallow. “You just keep gathering more. The way you rush... you might be pushing yourself a little too hard. You need to take a step back. Otherwise you're going to tire yourself out or explode.”
“I don't have time,” Fear abruptly stated. “There'll be time for that once this is all over.”
Kioku tsked. “It is never truly over, Fear. As Acrid stated, you can afford to take a break, and as you said in your little epiphany, you must learn to be happy despite your circumstances. And part of that...?” He was needling Fear to finish the sentence.
“Part of that,” Fear continued for him, annoyed, “is learning how to detach myself temporarily.” He sighed. “Digest the emotions on the fly.” He shook his head and groaned.
“You'll get there, Fear. Just keep trying, keep working at it.”
Fear mumbled something under his breath. “I'd say we're wasting time but... do you mind if I stay here for a bit?”
“We're going to be here for awhile, Fear, only until you finish.” Kioku answered, as he finished his drink and set it down. “While what I have to teach you isn't... intense by any means. It will still require a little bit of time. You will be out of commission likely for a few hours healing your mind.”
“Uuuuuuugh.” Fear nearly wept. “Putting effort in all day and pulling all nighters. I should be used to it by now.”
Kioku merely grinned.
“What did you want to teach me?” Fear was a little frustrated that he couldn't get a straight answer. While Discord's avoidance was cute, Kioku's was infuriating and he wasn't sure what the difference was. Maybe it was that Discord was coy and playful, but Kioku was serious and analytical. The mood was entirely different between the two of them.
“I wished to teach you how to utilize your inner light, so that you could become a shadow within the shadows and your inner shade so you can hide yourself even in bright light. A light within the light, and resourcing yourself so that you may be your own darkness.”
“Sounds almost philosophical.” Fear joked sarcastically. “Like you're trying to tell me how to be my own self, an individual.”
Kioku nodded. “It is in part that. Elaborating on your own inner potential and identity in order to exist within that which subsumes all. Being between while also within. It is in large part a philosophical exercise. Thought intensive, I guess you could say.”
Fear breathed in deep, filling his lungs to bursting and holding it in, bulging his cheeks out. Then gradually let it out. “Alright. Let's get to it.”
“Remember Fear, take life a little more slowly.” Kioku admonished.
Flitter... had gotten himself into a bit of trouble! Hanging out behind a slab of fallen concrete in a residential area, some rather tall apartments. His chest was heaving, death-gripping the silenced pistol in his telekinetic aura like Fear had taught him to the point his hold was trembling, throwing off his aim. His eyes were wide and dilated and he realized... he'd probably pissed off the wrong ponies as shots pinged and rang out over the din, stabbing into the concrete behind him and threatening to shoot through if they'd been made of a higher caliber.
Pip pip pap the shots hammered into his hiding place.
The Maneami Manifestos were not the kind of group you wanted to piss off and scavenge in their territory.
As Flitter said his prayers, doing the Celestial equivalent of crossing yourself by tapping himself on chest and both eyebrows, something he'd learned from a traveling preacher, Fear alighted down next to him.
“Huh? What's going on here?” The stallion looked down at Flit and then around the corner curiously.
“You! What are you doing here!?” Flitter demanded with a hoarse, scared voice. Broken but tougher than he was capable of.
Fear glanced to the colt, smirking to one ear. “You been getting yourself into a little trouble in waking, Flit?”
A vehement blush spread across Flitter's cheeks as a whole host of different emotions crossed his face from fury, to shame, to offense, to relief. “Waking!? What's going on!? No! The Maneami Manifestos are really after me! I've done it this time! I scavenged where I shouldn't have!”
Fear pat the colt on the head. “Alright, hang out here for a bit, I'll be right back.” Fear summoned a sword from his horn, and twisted the light around himself and the sword so he'd be invisible, fading from view, before darting around the concrete piece.
Eventually there were screams, the gunfire stopping, and guttural noises echoing in the air as throats were cut. Within only a minute Fear had returned to an awkwardly baffled Flitter.
“What... what'd you do!?”
“Killed them,” Fear replied with a shrug. “You're safe now Flit. I'm here for ya.” He pulled the colt into a hug.
Only for Flit to shove him away, blushing even more furiously. “I didn't need your help! I had it all well in hoof!”
“Hahaha! Starting to get addicted to the sensation of doing everything yourself, huh Flitter?”
“What's going on, why are you here?” Flit deflected.
“I wanted to check on you. See how you were doing.” Fear twisted a hoof around. He felt exhausted. Strained. Tired. But he could at least do this much.
Fear was probably pushing himself too hard.
“Well! As you can see I've clearly made enemies of some big name folks around here! And not only that but... but... I've only made them angrier because you killed Relish's minions!” Flit declared, falling to the ground and holding his hooves over his head.
Fear knelt down next to Flit, reaching out with his consciousness and hanging onto him so he wouldn't... flit away. “Don't worry. You're just dreaming. Don't let the shock wake you up though.”
Flit felt surprise, disbelief. Then twisted his head around as the environment melted into sludge, becoming incorporeal and vague. “I'm... dreaming?”
“You are.” Fear stated succinctly. “But that doesn't mean you're not in danger in waking. So what's going on?”
Flit was tentative, biting his lower lip as he sat up. “I...” He looked up at Fear with watery eyes. “I might've gotten a little in over my head. I scavenged in the Maneami Manifesto's territory because I was looking to make the big caps. You know how it is, right?”
“I do,” Fear grinned. “And now you're worried they're going to come for you. That someone saw you. Knows who you are and is going to hunt you down, yeah?”
“Yeah...” Flitter admitted with a lifted shoulder. Adjusting himself. Staring at the ground.
“Try not to worry too much. What happens will happen. What matters is you pushed your limits. Try not to focus too much on the fright, otherwise you won't be able to think of solutions. You're a smart, capable colt. You just need to apply yourself to the situation.”
“And how am I supposed to do that!?” Flit demanded.
“Well I don't think you have the time to be learning shadow walking, so that's a no-go.” Fear hummed, grinning from ear to ear. “But you still have your mouth, your legs, your horn, your gun, and your crowbar. All you have to do is figure out how to use them.”
“And how am I supposed to use them?” Flit was angry, not getting answers just riddles!
“Apologize, run, maybe go to another city. Or, who knows? Maybe learn to talk your way out of situations. Hype yourself up. Tell them they'd be lucky to have you on their side. Try to make yourself out to be a big tough stallion on commission. More experienced than you are. Anyone can be charismatic if they just take a role and adhere to it with all their heart. It's all about acting.”
“Acting...?” Flit questioned, his eyes glazing.
“Yeah. Nothing more to it than just exuding presence, exuding atmosphere. And you do that by acting a certain way. It takes practice, but anyone can do it once they figure out how. It's different for most creatures.” Fear sat on his haunches, throwing his forelegs out wide, gesturing magnificence.
Flitter looked down, deep in thought. “I guess... I guess I could try that?”
“Try not to get yourself killed, Flit. I'm sure you can do it. Just remember to not let power go to your head...” a light flicked on in Fear's eyes as he realized he was saying the same things others had said to him. “And you can let yourself get as incredible as you want to be.” He gently ruffled Flitter's mane. “But right now I gotta get going. There're a few other things I have to do before the night is over. I'm sure you'll remember the important parts of this dream when you wake up.”
Flitter was disappointed, showing genuine vulnerability for the first time since Fear had met him. “You're going?” He cocked his head to the side, pouting slightly.
“Yeah, Flit,” Fear confirmed. “It's up to you to do whatever comes next. I believe in ya. Just keep practicing in front of a mirror or something. You'll get it soon enough! And who knows? Maybe no one saw you in their territory if you were sneaky enough. You'll get there.” Before he left... “Oh and one more thing!” He lifted a hoof. “Something my mother once taught me. If all is lost, take stock of all you have and do a brainstorming session. You'll figure something out.”
And with that Fear vanished from Flitter's sight, leaving him to either craft a new dream all his own or wake up. Leaving him with words to think on.
“Creepy ass stallion,” Flitter spat. After a moment, “at least he came to check on me. However it is he did that.”
As Fear went about checking on Eden and a bunch of others (all who turned out to not currently be sleeping), he thought long and hard about the lives of the ponies he'd encountered and dealt with over the past some odd years, comparing it to his own. I wasn't far off the mark in just how lucky I've been despite what everyone says. I've been so lucky. In essence I did grow up very privileged. Fear hummed, narrowing his eyes and squinting as he flew through the liminal space's flow, honing in on particular wavelengths. I had a brilliant, albeit imperfect mother to teach and guide me for however long, but I also had a lot of other things like my father's sacrifice. I am, at heart, an heir. Fear gave some further consideration. No, that didn't sound entirely right. What would his sister tell him? What would she reveal to heal him?
Fear let his eyes fall shut. No. It's not just that. I am an heir, and I've inherited the faith, fortune, and skills of others. But I did put in the work. I put in the effort. Mom was only able to teach me because I was willing to learn. The others were only able to give me their skills because I wanted to grow stronger and I put in the effort. And I am actively working to take their skills to the next level, to my level. I am making them my own. Like others have been telling me, I need to appreciate that. He let his eyes fly open, a sort of snarling look laced behind those pupils. That impostor concept slowly cracking, little seams appearing in the surface. I'm lucky and privileged, but I worked my ass off to get here nonetheless, and...
After a moment of realizing where this thought train was going, Fear's eyes softened, a frown forming.
I'm going to give others, everyone, the same privilege I had one day. And I can't die until I've done everything I can.
With that, a smile graced his lips, tips twisting upward as he ultimately returned to Luna's dream-bubble to talk with her. The others were likely fully settled in by this point. A raucous boom of muted lights and sounds exploded from him as he rocketed off back toward his destination, having finished with Flitter and found no others currently asleep.
Alighting down in the courtyard, Fear flicked his head to the side, a bit of discomfort trailing behind him due to the previous burrow of thought. His eyes remained lidded, kind of tired, a lot of energy spent on that previous epiphany and the ever growing one, the one he could feel hiding under the surface like he was going to vomit. Sleep was supposed to be relaxing, but learning and remembering aspects of yourself always took an integral toll on you. A little huff and Fear pushed his way past the melting threshold between visions.
Fear gave Saway a little hug, once she was open to it, telling her he was proud of her for slowly opening up a little more.
“It’s about time I did, yes,” Saway drawled out. “I’ll never stop… being uncomfortable with touch. But you’ve earned it colt.”
That was enough to bring another smile to Fear's face as he recommended Saway try exploring some dream bubbles sometime, just as a sort of ninja. Exploring and hiding. Watching.
“I’ll… consider it Fear. But I’m not too keen on invading others’ privacy,” Saway rasped out.
Fear insisted she at least talk to Luna about livening up the dreambubble. It looked exactly the same as last time. They needed to put some spicy new experiences on top of all of it! Not just live in samey comfort all the time.
As Fear left Saway to think on that ideal, Fear headed to the chamber of moonlight, where Luna normally resided, to talk to her. Everything blurring together.
“Little Fear!” Luna shouted gaily, quickly trotting over to him, body looking as though it'd fall apart with a single step. Despite that, there were no shakes or tremors. As weak as it looked, it showed no vulnerability. An odd juxtaposition that was not lost on the young stallion.
Rolling a hoof, Fear grinned wryly, tilting his head. “You look like it's been an eternity since you've seen me Luna.” In all honesty, that was almost how it felt! It had certainly been a long time in a timeless space.
“Hah, I'm just glad you're okay, especially since...” Luna glanced off and to the side, biting her lower lip.
Fear perked up, eyes and ears lifting. “What? What happened?” He took a step forward in alarm, but Luna just seemed tentative and bashful.
“I should have expected... uh. Well.” Luna stood up a little straighter, fixing her face into a frown. “When you killed Zetta, a type of... mh, kill switch was set off among the Dormien.”
“Wait, what!?” Fear squeaked, hopping up and stomping down, eyes wide. “Were... was anyone hurt!?”
Luna shrugged. “Not... explicitly.” She rolled her eyes, and a hoof. “We took care of the problem soon enough to prevent it. And you're lucky, and I mean incredibly blessed Fear, that you did it so close to the morning when ponies you know tend to wake.”
“I sense a 'but' coming, Luna. What's going on?” He twisted his head to the side, gazing at her suspiciously. She clearly didn't want to worry him about something but what? “Was someone I care about in the line of fire?” Then it popped in his head. “Wait, you mean they...” Fear paled, his voice trailing off. He shuffled backwards and shook his head. “They... they... no! They wouldn't... wouldn't go that far!?”
Luna nodded serenely, sadly. “Yes. I don't know the sheer extent of it, but based on a conversation I had with Freiya who was being attacked at the time we set off the spell, and who also checked alternate timelines, I suspect the Dormien read your mind to some degree the moment you were killed that time, and knew those who had deep connections to you elsewhere in the wasteland, and they'd attempted to murder them in their dreams.” She paused.
“You dodged a metaphorical bullet, Fear. If you hadn't gone to sleep when you did things could've been much, much worse than they turned out to be.” A tense silence spilled forth from the void, encompassing them both. “When you killed Zetta...” a shaky, weary sigh. “An alarm rippled throughout the liminal space and crossed to the umbrans. They know you are close. They know you are making your way to them. There is not much time left, we must try to strike a vital, deathly blow before it is too late.”
A bout of uncertainty washed over Fear in the form of chilly tremors at the thought of his entire battle being for naught in one single moment. Having stood on the brink of the precipice of oblivion without even knowing it, was enough to choke someone. He thought about that umbran's, that murderer's final words. Thought about Acrid, thought about his feelings, contemplated life and everything that'd happened to him up to this point in life. The feeling of being railroaded into a single destination with no way out. Constantly. Inevitably. Charging forth on undeviable rails screeching under a life that was out of control. A broken, damaged train covered in patchwork fixes and good-enough repairs, most of which didn't hold up under the hurricane whirling about it, trying to tear it from its grip and send it careening into the abyss of nothingness. Fear's life had been incredible, unbelievable, and difficult. Every day had felt like an eternity, and given being young made days seem like weeks, and weeks seem like decades, every single minute that passed was one in which hopes and drives were tested.
In the end, what am I? What do I believe in? And what do I strive for? What can I even do?I could not fix the status quo. Trying probably ended in the deaths of more than he saved. One single element in a grander life could not hope to make such a huge change, and even if Acrid succeeded, would he not inevitably need to do it again? Would he be alive? Would he be around to do it again? With a world filled with creatures who scavenged, a demigod who could only give basic necessities and old tools, rampant with racism, hatred, fear, and loneliness, what could Fear possibly do in the long run toward such an insurmountable mountain? Heavy, unfocused exhaustion was all Fear felt in that moment. It was the sole deciding factor rocking through his entire being, surreal and real alike. There was no solution, and there likely never would be a solution. There would likely never be true hope, never be true peace. More than likely he'd have to sacrifice purity for prosperity, and prosperity for good enough. That, or perhaps he would be no more than a comfort horse in his reality's final moments until the point Discord ran out of magic and there was no longer anything to salvage.
The end of equinity, the end of draconity, the end of life in Equestria ultimately, as others beyond failed to learn from mistakes and let their night terrors, insecurities, and weaknesses get the better of them. Leading to mutual destruction all over again.
In the end, it's not the future that matters but what I do right here and now, what feels right to me. I've been through so much, I can't give up now just because of how overwhelming everything is.
Fear's bones creaked under the weight of himself, the world that he could never carry even in his dreams, and his muscles twisted and bruised from the weight of his own desires, hopes, and dreams. No matter how much magic could change, it could never, ever change something as impure as all of this.
But it didn't matter.
“It's fine Luna.” Fear's confident, beaming smile was back. While his eyes had taken a heft, and his legs were bent, he was still the happy go lucky colt he desired to be. “We're gonna be fine. I'm gonna make sure of it, one way or another.”
The confidence to move mountains, began with a single step.
It was all he could do. Focus on a brighter future, and focus on the what ifs even when all his focus was lost. Befriend all he could, until the end. Leave no stone unturned, leave no one in the dark.
Fear began the long road in explaining Discord and his involvement with the draconequus, but asked Luna to please let him have his time isolated until he was ready to reconvene. In the grand scheme of things, a petty thing such as chaos versus order seemed trivial against what they now faced. While Luna hesitated, she acquiesced.
Biting his tongue, Fear thought on his next thoughts carefully, a sense of palpable, carnivorous guilt, a feeling of anchor-like responsibility, gnawing at his mind and leaving him with questions. But eventually the question slipped out, nervously. “Luna...?
“Yes, little Fear?”
“I feel weird asking this, because for a lot of reasons it still feels like... it makes me stronger dealing with it, and it makes me feel as though it'll keep me in line. It also feels appropriate for my life, and to remind me that-”
“Little Fear, please, what is it?” Luna's tone was calm, patient. But pressing. Trying to cut through to the issue at hoof.
Fear looked up at her with sorrowful, pained eyes. Slightly dull, a pitiable sight. “Saway recommended I ask you if you could teach me how to use nightmares to soften the pain of my leg, when it occurs.”
Luna straightened herself out a bit, cricking her neck, and smiled warmly, reaching down and nuzzling the young stallion. “Is that so? I appreciate you asking me, I can only imagine what was going through your head to make something like that difficult to request.” Luna stood up tall and stomped a hoof. “Yes I can teach you. It is very akin to the Nightmare Pressure my protege has taught you, but far more... mh. Intricate.” Pulling the hoof away from her chin, Luna's eyes sharpened. “It involves suppression. It is a dark, toxic manifestation of the shadow. While you should never suppress your feelings, your pain, sometimes it must be done to function in the heat of the moment, am I not right Fear?”
A sway of the head, a rolling of the shoulders, and Fear finally eh'ed. “Yeah I guess so. It sounds like you're warning me though.” Fear paused. “Why?”
Luna's vision narrowed, chuckling. “Ever so astute, my skilled learner.” Closing her eyes, Luna coughed behind a hoof. “Indeed you are correct. Toxicity has a manner of... corrupting that which lies around it. By utilizing toxicity to your advantage, you risk becoming addicted, or worse, unawaredly drowning in it until it consumes you. Causing you to rely on it, or become it. As they say, one bad apple spoils the bunch.”
“Wise words.” Fear uttered. “But honestly? I think I'm ready for that kind of thing now. I'll only use it if it's entirely necessary.”
“Exactly as I wished to hear, Fear. Now, you must start with...”
Fear was laggard at this point, having been through a lot in what felt like a... well. A long time honestly. His mind was half asleep even inside his own mind, even inside the liminal space he felt like he was drifting between awareness and non-existence. A delirious feeling he'd only experienced a couple times in his life. A few times during his initial training to go up against Solanum, and again when he'd been envenomed by that faux Breiker. But he still had a little bit more to do before he could fully, entirely sleep. He had to plan the next abilities he'd learn in case he had to take on more umbrans (he was barely keeping up as it was, in his opinion), and also speak with Shaybna.
Which is why, in the Canterlot Castle Gardens, he'd summoned his familiar. His sword. His friend.
Friend, huh? I certainly have made a wide variety of friends. Ex-raiders, weapons, different species, royalty, prisoners... hm.
“When you are finished in your reverie, Fear we will discuss business.” An amused glint laid in Shaybna's tone as the humorous slitted eyes in her mirror mask gazed toward her wielder.
Fear shook his head free, though it was more of a symbolic gesture than a physical one. Clearing his mind he spoke loud and clear. Then his voice died on his lips with gaping open mouth. There was a moment of silence as he peered at Shaybna.
“Yes yes, Fear. I do know. But even then the formality of inquiring is just as important as the answer itself. Just like when incanting, just thinking it is not enough, you must birth it into the world. Take initiative, not just wait for others to give it to you.” An implied smile. “You are no fae.”
Fear rolled his shoulders and threw a smile to the side. “Yeeeeeah, the basis of unicorn magic. Right right.” Fear sighed deeply, and bowed his head for a moment. “I wish to know what the next rune does. What it is.”
Shaybna straightened up, and tilted her head. Amusement spreading through her mirrored features aside from Fear's reflected face. “It is a Tiwaz. And its power is amplification. I am sure you are already churning with thoughts of how to use it.”
Fear blushed slightly, gritting his teeth in a grin and sitting back on his haunches, tapping his chin. “I... I mean yeah I am. The question is, can I mix sword spells?”
“Perhaps. With more training under your belt. But then you are no stranger to practicing your crafts day and night in succession, nay?”
“You could say that.” Fear's lips flicked up on the side. “But personally I have some other things I wanna push it toward. I'm guessing, just extrapolating based on the word. That it can be used to power up low level spells into something that can actually be functional, without as much effort as it'd take to do it normally?”
“Quick witted as always. I am sure your “audience” is getting tired of it.”
Flabbergasted, Fear's face looked like he'd been slapped across the face. Dumbstruck. Then it occurred to him. “Ah, right, my mind. Right right. Connections, all that good stuff. Almost like Omega Storm.”
“Indeed.” Mirth flowed from Shaybna at Fear's reaction. “You had another question, yes?”
Sighing, Fear nodded. “Ye'h. I wanted to ask what was the next rune. Is there a final one? Is there one you can get only from having enough power? Can I choose which ones I get? Have I been subconsciously choosing them?”
Shaybna merely bobbed her head once, having let him finish so that it would fill the air. “In order, I will get to that, yes, yes, and somewhat. For the last – I have been picking the ones you need to fill out your repertoire.”
A risen brow. “As in?”
“As in with the light spell, you needed a way to pierce through armor with your sword, did you not? You do not have armor piercing rounds. I picked up on your desire for that.”
Fear rubbed his chin with a hoof. “Hmm, yeah you're right. I don't talk about it much, but it has been beneficial. Getting through concrete has been easier.” Not that it'd ever been shown explicitly, it wasn't important! Fear had a life outside of the audience's insight. “And?”
“You have been desiring elemental capabilities for a long time, ever since you first learned how to use lunar and shadow magic. I fed off your excitement at the prospect, and after you'd seen your aunt use fire and cold magic to amplify her massages, I knew it was something you desperately desired. And that having it in your sword would eventually make you prone to using it in your everyday magic.”
“Okay so did you get my cleverness or were you always this intelligent and crafty?” A sly look flowed across Fear's face.
“Always this intelligent, as far as you know. Besides? Who knows? It could have come from your older sister.” Shaybna hid her mirror behind a hoof, looking askance with an air of amusement.
“Yeah it's likely from my sister. Without a doubt.” The easy admission threw Shaybna off. “So knowing this, if I had to guess the reason for you choosing the scouting spell was because of my insecurity and worries of not having enough information to take on my enemies?”
Shaybna murmured behind her mask. “Precisely. Having not known the capabilities of the zebras, and wanting to understand what the umbrans were capable of before going against them. Having wanted to investigate areas to keep your friends safe. All of your past experiences compiled into that... choice. But it was not my choice, it was your choice, through me. As it has always been.”
“Alright then.” Fear gave a nod. “So what about this amplify spell?”
Shaybna's tone became sultry. “You have to even ask?”
“No, you're right, I don't. I've been wanting this ever since dealing with Seele. You're right.” Fear pulled in a large breath of air, so to speak. “Okay, so what's the next rune you expect me to unlock?”
The two stood staring at each other for a long moment.
“That's a dumb question you're right.” Fear bowed his head and rubbed at his mane with a hoof. “I already get it. Uncertainty has been eating at me, and having been exposed to my late ancestor's talent of precognition, or rather varicognition, I've been wanting it too. And you can already tell I've come up with a method to mimic my mother's old talent.”
“Mhm. You are correct, Fear.” Shaybna's voice became low. “You are a fast learner, which belies your appearance.” It sounded like an insult, but Fear knew what she meant. “Though perhaps that is inherently the benefit of your recklessness. Your sister may have been talented, but your mind never, ever stops finding solutions, does it?”
Fear swept his head and a hoof through the air. “Well I mean! When you grow up in the wasteland with death around every corner, with the same constant twenty four seven anxiety your mother apparently had, all you can do is constantly look for solutions!”
“Tsk.” Shaybna clucked her tongue. “You need to take a rest Fear.”
“No rest for the wicked.”
“You are not wicked, Fear, as much as you may occasionally think yourself to be.”
“I can rest when I'm dead.”
“If you do not rest, you will die sooner.”
Fear looked down at the ground, caught in a rock. “I mean. Okay you're right.” A long, drawn out sigh escaped Fear's lips. “I need to at least get this last thing done, then I can rest as long as I wish up until it's time to go on a new journey because opportunities have been presented.”
Tick, tick, tack. A white plastic ball pitter-pattered across a green wooden slab. Bouncing once before being struck back to the other, bouncing again, only to be countered by another paddle. As it popped over net time after time, lazy swings punctuating chill times, one in lion paw one in warm vanilla chroma, two figures danced in place with smiles on their face.
“Why do y'all keep comparing me to Twilight anyway?” Fear's voice more of a murmur.
Discord grinned and swung, smacking the ball to the other side in an arc. “I'm sure you can figure that one out on your own, Fear. Hmhm.”
Sighing deeply, Fear managed a wry smile and flicked the paddle, sending the ball careening back where it came, nearly teetering off the edge of the table. “Yeah, it's been tickling my mind for awhile. Thoughts, theories. Feels like you're pushing me to a conclusion I don't want to accept, nor can I ever accept.”
“Clever stroke,” Discord purred at both his words and the move. “It's reasons like this, that I trust you, you eggscellent little creature.” A pause as Discord took the next counter and swatted it toward Fear with a wrist snap. “A very well meaning colt, strange, unassuming.” Hah. “Untalented, but clever and determined, unlike...”
“My sister who was naturally skilled.” Fear's eyes shone as he spiked the ping pong ball into Discord's field, nearly slapping him in the face with it. “Going somewhere with this?”
Discord chose his words carefully. Prying at Fear's psyche a little bit at a time. Fear was aware, Discord was aware he was aware. “Lulu was similar in a lot of ways, to you. More prone to the dark, to the glimmering light. Sloughing through the darkness and guiding others to the right path. ...Inadequate.” A slight sneer crept across his face.
Fear rolled his eyes. “And Amelio was like Princess Celestia, correct?” The original bearers of the Elements of Harmony, albeit incomplete once they'd been separated due to their tethers being strained. “Fortunately I never turned into Nocturne Fracture.” A guffaw.
It was Discord's turn to roll his eyes. “Come up with that off the top of your head mmh?” Discord gave the ping pong ball a tiny baby tap to send it arching back to Fear's field, before, with a slight spin, twisting to the side at the last second. Even if Fear saw it coming, it kept the game interesting. “But... yes. There are many parallels, many ties.”
“But they're not concrete, correct? Anyone could have them. We just happen to be on this particular train.” Fear curved the ball back in Discord's court.
Smack. Right back at him. “Indeed. But I'm sure you're aware how no matter how railroaded we are, there's always the opportunity to jump to another one. Ergo...”
Fear traced the paddle through the air, tapping it in return. “Ergo... reality can shift with imagination, wisdom, and energy. As you've mentioned before.”
Discord's eyes dulled, a far away look coming to him. “Yes. Every egg must bide its time, keep itself safe, until the day of its hatching arrives.”
Fear continued, as their ball pattered back and forth. “Yeah, but how do you know when the time to hatch has come? Every young child will likely die if they arrive too early, or miss their chance if they go too late.”
“Sometimes...”
“Sometimes,” Fear continued with him. “We must act despite our current state, and not let the past tie us down.”
“I knew you were going there,” Discord hummed. “A wild storm, you are. Shackles couldn't hope to pin you to the wall.”
“I learned something from my sister Breiker. There is happiness, and prosperity in freedom. She just went about it to a desperate extreme.” Fear paused, and swallowed, slamming the white orb back to Discord's side as he watched the moonlight above gloss over it. “She wanted freedom, but she was the most trapped of any of us. She needed healing, truth, laughter, and compassion.”
“Wise words,” Discord purred in response. “So where do you intend to go from here, after all this is over, Fear?”
“Well,” Fear began with a shaky voice. “We seem to be on the cusp of victory. I don't think there's much of anything, if anything, that can get in our way now except for some dumb death throes from a species that wants to continue existing. I wish there was a better, kinder way to resolve it, but I don't think there is. Trying to talk sense into the umbrans seems difficult when they literally feed on despair and are ready to kill you, and anyone you're familiar with if you become a threat to them. It's disconcerting. Stands against everything I believe in. And reminds me...” Fear dragged off.
Discord's eyes narrowed. “Reminds you of how terrible the wasteland is, and has become, yes?”
“...Yes. I don't think there's any hope for the wasteland, beyond just trying to rebuild. The only hope I have in my heart is the hope to go day to day, and the hope that I can make a difference in others' lives, that I can continue making friends until something in this world finally gives way and leads to prosperity again. Yet I'm so sheltered. And I haven't done as much as I'd like to do. It's not like I'm actively seeking out steel rangers and trying to commune with them. Even if I did, I wouldn't know where to... to start.” Fear's voice was awkward and shy.
“Sometimes there's not a lot you can do until the appropriate spark comes along, Fear. Sometimes you just need to accept your conditions until the moment reveals itself, like we talked about.”
“Y-yeah, but... it just sucks. Not knowing what today's going to hold except probably more of the same. More of the same torture, more of the same ponies hurting other ponies, instead of embracing friendship and commonalities. Looking at our differences, and our own selves as though we as individuals are more important than the whole. It's... a damn shame. Even if nature heals by tomorrow, there will always be those who resist change. But I comfort myself in the fact that every day, what I do makes a difference, however subtle. And the more ponies I inspire to do the same, eventually one day the whole world must turn.”
“A noble goal.” Discord responded with a nod, smacking the ping pong back to his friend.
“What are your goals for after all this is over? You must have some plans once you have more power back right?”
Discord shrugged a shoulder, cocked his head. “I'll be back to my old antics within due time. Just not as... inconveniencing.”
“Is that so?” A royal voice elicited from the darkness. Luna's voice.
The ping pong ball went flying off Fear's end of the table as he turned to look at the entrance to the garden, Discord perking up too.
“Luna? What are you doing here?” Fear sounded bombshelled.
“So this is what you are always up to when I feel my dream bubble alter. I always figured you were merely entertaining yourself, would not have considered that you were conspiring with an old enemy?” Luna approached the two, a smirk on her face.
“Conspiring, she says!” Discord scoffed, throwing his arms in the air and rolling his eyes. “Says the nightmare.” His head turned to look Luna in the eyes, slumping over slightly and crossing his mismatched arms. “It is... good to see you Lulu.”
“And I you, Discord. You may have been an enemy in the long distant past, but I think we have both learned a few things, yes?”
Discord pushed his palms up, shrugging again. “I have no idea what you could possibly mean Lulu, I am merely myself now and always.”
“Stubborn draconequus,” Fear quipped. “I think we've all had to do a little self reflection and realize how to love ourselves again, based on what we've been through, had to endure, and been forced to examine. It's traumatic for all of us.”
The other two looked toward Fear solemnly. Before both nodding their heads.
“Suffice to say,” Discord finally spoke up, rolling a wrist. “I won't be making others have to deal with me. I'll be finding more like Fear here.” Discord popped out of existence, reappearing by Fear, and noogying him causing the young stallion to cry out and squirm.
Luna looked on in amusement. “It is interesting how you manage to worm into hearts, little Fear.”
“It'll never be enough though.” Fear complained.
Discord bapped Fear on the noggin. “Someday. Just keep pushing you little twerp.”
A small smile crossed Fear's face. “Can't promise anything, but I'll try.”
“We may have our past transgressions, Discord, both you and I.” Luna began. “But I believe we have equaled out in the grand scheme of things. We both caused problems, we have both tried to atone. All three of us honestly, pushing toward the future. A future we can never see, nor may we ever hold. It is time for there to be peace between both of us, even if Fear is the tie that connects us.”
Fear looked to Discord, sitting on his haunches with a plop. “We'll both visit you Discord. We'll both be your friend, I think she's trying to say. So don't run off anymore, okay?”
“I wish to be in your life, and you in mine,” Luna confirmed.
Discord's heart palpitated, head tilting. A look of surprise crossing wide eyes, as something deep was moved within.
A piece of advice from Nyx floated to Fear's mind. “You can't adapt others to others, but you can adapt yourself, and hope that one day others are inspired by your message.”
“<I'm glad you decided to sleep in today Zaya.>” Fear was beaming. Glad he'd been able to catch her in the realm of sleep before she woke up.
“<I decided to give myself a break today, after all that's happened. And my soldiers needed a bit of rest as well. A soldier's mind is as important as their body, and if you stress them with close calls, traumas, and difficult choices too much, they will eventually falter and break. And we respect our people, and ourselves, too much for that.>”
“<Words to live by,” Fear grinned. Tapping his chin with a hoof, looking askance, “now if only I could take that same advice for a little while.>”
“<You are still young, Fear. Impulsive, and driven. You will “chill out” inevitably. Give yourself the patience and respect you deserve.>” Zaya smiled boldly, holding a hoof against her chest.
“<You make a valid pooooint. It still sucks!>” Fear stomped his hooves in a pout. “<Still though, the reason I wanted to contact you,>” Fear's voice, his thoughts, his feelings translated between the two of them through liminal space. <”Is because I wanted you to know that Seele is never getting back up, ever again. Not without some clever rituals at least. You can invade the satyrs, take their technology, but please be kind.>”
Zaya's eyes widened and she stirred in place, nearly stepping back.
“<They're not all bad, I'm sure. I hope. They can be friends too.>”
Vision softening, Zaya tilted her head looking at Fear with respect and adoration. “<You do not need to worry. However we will need all our witches, shamans, and warriors for the task. Some may die, on both sides. Please do not fret however, my little pony.>”
Fear rolled a hoof and half grimaced. “<You could always maybe try using soul manipulation to fuck with their weapons or... or I can teach you shadow walking and you can teach it to your brethren.”
Zaya waved a hoof before responding, shaking her head once. “<It is fine. We already have similar.>” A tender, teasing smile. <”We have invisibility cloaks, fireshot sniper rifles with armor piercing bullets, enchanted shock swords, flood throwers, grenade launchers, pressurized air cannons, sound weapons. We can EMP power armor, mechs, paralyze bodies. We have chemical warfare as well. Living whips that follow the soul. Et cetera.>”
Fear tilted his head, now his turn to take a step back. “<Why didn't you bring any of that with you on the mission to Abyssinia?>”
“<We were meant to be on a mission of peace, what would we have gained from being decked out in weaponry? Besides, do you really think that would have stopped you? You likely would have just destroyed us with a star explosion or some such.>” Zaya chuckled to herself lowly. “<It does not matter either way, all turned out for the best. We will not underestimate situations in the future, however.>”
Fear looked off to the side, flicking his ears, a bit peeved and also kind of humored. “<I guess not. And good fucking idea. I don't get why everyone underestimates me, it's odd! Still, I would have just had to be more careful, primarily of you.>”
Zaya's expression became querycal. “<Fear, something I have been meaning to ask. Why do you have such a dirty mouth?>”
Fear's answer came quick, as if prepared, stepping from side to side in nerves. “<Hype.>” Before continuing. “<It's a method of acting, a method of forcing myself to be confident, energized, and in control. Anxiety tires me out and makes me question myself and my surroundings, by empowering myself with courage and emotions, by telling my surroundings to go fuck off, I strengthen myself. As my sister said, as she learned.>”
Zaya's smile grew wider, and she merely nodded, eyes lidded. Impressed. “<Fear, you are wiser than your years. It has been a pleasure to make you as a friend. I hope our connections will span decades. Please stay safe.>”
Fear rolled his neck and grinned. “<Sure thing Zaya, I'll be okay. You too alright? Kick some Satyr ass!>”
“<Forsooth.>” Zaya responded with glee.
As Fear stood there, beginning to grow distant, a memory of his sister flitted into his mind. Years ago, when Amelio and him had first been getting to know each other, his sister had explained her confidence to him, and the sheer difficulty it had taken her to get to that point. One thing, above all, stood out. “Confidence begins with accepting you cannot do everything, and appreciating what you are capable of. It begins as a revolution to lies and the lack of it. When I was young, and I realized nothing in life was solid or concrete, I realized that in order to reach my full potential I needed to be concrete. I needed to be my own foundation made of what I could find. Revolt against reality, and you will find yourself.”
