> Pilot Betrayed > by Split Scimitar > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > SPRKL Six > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “We’re virtually done with our parents’ stuff, so you can pick me up whenever you can. We’ll start the paperwork then.” Rosalina texts. “No problem.” I respond. “Will you want to relocate back to Hawaii?” “Yes. I’ll give you details when we meet.” “I assume it’s really up to you, since you pretty much run the company now.” “More or less. It’s just a shame we’re short on pilots.” “Wish I could help, but I can’t do helicopter.” “I’d love to help you, but I was never a CFI.” “Sorry.” “Don’t be. Airplanes were your calling.” “Well, thanks. Whenever you’re ready, I can pick you up and we can work things out.” Later that afternoon, after I fire up SARASA, I receive a call. “Hello?” “Hi, is this Max?” “Yes, this is he.” “Hi, I’m calling about your house in Anchorage. Is it still available?” “Oh! You know, that’s been on the market for so long, I almost forgot about it completely. Nevertheless, that is wonderful news! Would you like to arrange a tour?” “Yes please! Your earliest convenience would be much appreciated.” “What’s your schedule like? I can get myself there in the next 12 hours.” “Well, my rest of this and next week aren’t good, but my wife can meet you.” “Sure. No problem. Um, I will need your contact information, for obvious reasons.” “Of course. Let me know when you’re ready?” “Actually, if you can, go ahead and just text this number.” “Even better! One second.” A few seconds later, I receive a text with contact information. “Shining Armor - (xxx) xxx-xxxx Mi Amore Cadenza “Cadance” - (xxx) xxx-xxxx” “Hello? Did you get it?” Shining Armor asks. “Just did, thank you. I can be available tomorrow any time.” “Okay, let me hand you over to my wife. She’ll be the one you’ll show around.” “No problem.” “One sec. Here you go.” “Hello?” A woman’s voice answers. “Hi, is this Miss Mi Amore Cadenza?” “Speaking. Please, call me Cadance.” “Very well, Miss Cadance. This is Max, for your inquiry to the property listed in Anchorage.” “Wonderful, I would love a tour.” “Excellent, let me just check my schedule, I should be free.” “Sure.” “You’re in luck.” I respond a few moments later. “I can be available as early as 10:00 tomorrow.” “Let’s plan on 10:30 then. Sound good?” “You’ve got it!” “Thank you so much.” “Absolutely. I look forward to meeting you.” “Likewise. I’ll see you soon.” “Alright.” I respond just as another call comes up. “Ooh! I have another call. Talk to you soon?” “Absolutely. Bye.” “Bye.” “Hello?” “Hey Max, it’s Twilight.” “Hi, how are you?” “Good. So, um… I have a huge favor to ask you.” “Go ahead.” “My brother is moving, and the rest of the family needs to meet him to help pack. Can we, uh, charter you?” “Of course! I have an Anchorage trip tomorrow, but I can take you anytime after that.” “Actually, do you have space for three more? Anchorage is where we’re headed.” “Are you by chance related to Shining Armor and Mi Amore Cadenza?” “Yes! Shining Armor is my brother!” “Wow! Small world!“ “I know, right?” “Well, I should probably call Miss Cadenza and let her know that you chartered me.” “I’ll let her know too. They’re really excited about this house.” “Good to hear from an outside source. I own that house.” The other end of the line is silent, but before I utter anything, Twilight says, “talk about a small world.” “I know, right?” The two of us share a laugh before I say, “well, that sounds good. I’ll grab you and who I assume are your parents. Anyone else?” “Nope. Just us three.” “Where am I picking you up?” “My place. Indianapolis.” “Sweet! Be ready in 5 hours.” “We’ll be ready for you.” “Perfect.” “Bye.” “Cya!” With that taken care of, I ring up Miss Cadenza. “Hello?” She answers. “Hi, Miss Cadance, it’s Max, how are you?” “I’m doing well. Thank you. What’s up?” “Um, I apologize. I can’t do tomorrow as it turns out. Apparently your sister-in-law is coming to town to help you move, and I am taking them to Anchorage to meet you.” “Twilight’s coming?! That’s great news! We’ll wait for her!” “Thank you so much for your flexibility!” “Thank you for bringing Twilight! It’ll be so nice to see her again!” “No problem. Tell you what, how does your schedule look?” I ask as I file a flight plan for Indianapolis International. “Well, I‘m currently on maternity leave, so my schedule is dependent on my husband and our baby.” “Okay. How about this: since you’re pretty keen on the house, I assume you’ll be the only ones interested in it since no one else but you has answered; and I have precious cargo of yours with me anyway, how’s we do the tour when we arrive?” “That would be perfect! Knowing Twilight will be coming is definitely worth the wait!” “Wonderful! I shall see you soon then.” “Likewise. Bye.” “Bye.” Along with my yellow diesel, I grab another pickup truck, a GMC Sierra 3500 Denali, license plate ‘MTCHS.’ “Joshua departure, N475UA, IFR to Indy.” “N475UA, cleared to Indianapolis International Airport via as filed. Climb and maintain 12,000. Departure frequency 124.55, squawk 0331, clearance void 30 minutes from now.” “Cleared to Indy as filed, 12,000, 124.55, 0331, void in a half hour, Airbus 475UA.” “Airbus 5UA, readback correct. Talk to you on the go.” KVCV HELDE V12 HEC J64 RSK J110 STL TWILA JIGSY WIDAM.SMUKE2 KIND Granted a visual to runway 32, a high speed exit at M1 brings me into Million Air for pickup with their Crew Car, an oddly lavish Mercedes-Benz E450. Once out of airport, I call Twilight. “Hello?” Twilight answers cheerily. “Hey, I’m on my way to your place. You all ready?” “We are!” “Be there soon.” When I arrive, Twilight and two figures who I assume are her parents are waiting at their front door. Their entry gate is open, so once I pop the doors and boot, I spring into action. “Hi Twilight!” I say as I greet her with a hug. After I make eye contact with her parents, I introduce myself. “Hello, Split Scimitar, but I just go by Max.” “Max? How you doin’? Night Light.” “Night Light? Pleasure.” “Twilight Velvet.” “Pleasure to meet both of you. Sorry for the haste, but the sooner we get going, the sooner we get to Anchorage, so let’s get to it!” “Great! Thank you so much, Max!” Velvet responds. “I think it’s incredible that you can provide us with this opportunity!” “Happy to help. One Small Thing though, do you have your passports?” “Yes.” They all respond. “Okay, perfect. The most direct route to Anchorage takes us over Canada, so in case of an emergency diversion, you know.” “We always keep them handy anyway.” Velvet says. “You travelers by chance?” I ask after we jump in the car. “An insatiable wanderlust?” “Oh very much so!” Velvet responds, “We take almost every opportunity we can.” “First time to Alaska?” “To Anchorage. We used to have a timeshare in Sitka.” “Nice.” When we return to the airport, I return the keys, check for full fuel, and get towed to startup/run up. Before we get underway, I do the passenger brief. “Welcome aboard. Thank you for choosing to fly with me, I appreciate the work. To fasten your seatbelt, insert the metal tip into the buckle, tighten with the strap. Should fit low and snug across your hips. To unfasten, lift the flap and seperate the two ends. There are 8 exits on this aircraft, an Airbus A320: two in the front, four overwing, and two in the rear. Instructions on their operation are on the safety information card. In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin visibility, lighted strips and illuminated signs will point you in the direction of the nearest exit. Please take a moment to observe the nearest exit, and be advised it may be behind you. Even if the seatbelt sign is off, we do request that you remain in your seats with your seatbelt securely fastened in case of any unexpected turbulence or rough air. In the unlikely event of a water evacuation, your seat cushion does function as a flotation device. To operate the life jackets, place the vest over your shoulders, fasten the buckle around your waist, and tighten with the strap. To inflate the vest, pull the tab at your waist or blow into the tube at shoulder level to inflate the vest manually. Your vest is equipped with an LED that will automatically activate upon contact with water. Please wait until fully exited from the aircraft before inflating your life vest and remove shoes and other sharp objects to reduce the risk of puncture. In the event of an unexpected drop or loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the compartments above your head. Pull down on the mask to initiate the flow of oxygen, place the mask over your nose and mouth, tighten with the straps on the side, and breathe normally, even though the plastic bag may not inflate. Please secure your own mask before assisting others, and also at this time please consider reviewing the safety information card. It is forbidden to smoke onboard, and it is against federal law to tamper with, disable, or destroy a lavatory smoke detector. Speaking of lavatories, there are 3 onboard. One here in the first class cabin and two in the rear of the aircraft. Federal law also requires compliance with lighted signs, posted placards, and crew member instructions. Additional comments, questions, or concerns can be directed to a crew member. Approximate flight time to Anchorage this evening is 6 1/2 hours, so please sit back, relax, and enjoy this evening’s flight. Thank you.” After I log on and query Clearance Delivery via CPDLC, we get an “as filed.” KIND MEARZ6.BVT J89 YWG J515 YXE J576 YWV NCA11 REMBY.WITTI4 PANC. “Indianapolis Airport information U, 0152Z, wind 150 at 4, visibility 10, sky condition: few clouds at 5,400, scattered 8,800, broken 15,000. Temperature 7, dew point 1, altimeter 29.97. Notices to airmen: numerous cranes lighted and flagged in Eastern and Southern Quadrants. All VFR aircraft contact clearance delivery prior to taxi. Advise on initial contact, you have information U.” “Indy ground, Friendship 1 at Million Air, information U, ready to taxi.” I call after starting the engines. “Friendship 1, Indy ground, runway 14, taxi via A.” “14 via A, Friendship 1.” A quick taxi out onto the movement area requires only the slightest blip of throttle, reaching the hold short line in less time than it takes to start the engines. “Indy Tower, Friendship 1, short of 14 at A, ready for departure.” “Friendship 1, Indy Tower, runway 14, cleared for takeoff, turn left heading 340.” “Cleared for takeoff 14, left heading 340, Friendship 1.” 80 knots. V1 Rotate. V2 Positive rate, gear up. “Friendship 1, contact Indy departure.” “Over to departure, Friendship 1.” “Indy departure, Friendship 1, off Indy International, MEARZ6, 2.1 for 8,000.” Flaps up. “Friendship 1, Indy departure, radar contact 2 miles northeast Indy International, 3,400. Proceed direct BVT, climb and maintain FL180.” “Position checks, Direct Boiler, 18,000, Friendship 1.” A smooth climb through 10,000 feet, I set climb thrust and adjust as necessary. Eventually, we get to our cruising altitude of 36,000, where weather radar returns indicate primarily yellow and red. I can see stars and the night sky dimly lit by the moon ahead and to our right, but in the area of reported precipitation, there is a slightly unnerving blackness to it. For now, I keep a close eye on the storm and request additional information from flight service. It looks like a storm’s brewing, and moving, fast. > An Ordinary Storm, Just Mother Nature > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “N475UA, Convective SIGMET issued for Iowa, Illinois, Minnesota, North Dakota, Nebraska, South Dakota, Wisconsin. From 40 miles west-northwest of Dauphin to 130 miles east of Moose Jaw to 110 miles west of Thunder Bay to 100 miles north-northwest of Eau Claire to 50 miles east of Duluth; moving from 310 degrees at 35 knots. Tops to Flight Level 420.” “N475UA, roger. Looks like we’ll be passing right in front of it. Thanks for the help.” A couple of minor jolts not outside abnormal warrant a cabin announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just received word of some turbulence ahead, so please return to your seats, fasten your seatbelts, and secure all loose items at this time.” In anticipation of meeting the frontal system, I buckle up, reduce speed to recommended turbulent air penetration, flip the seat belt sign on, and prepare to hand fly. Noting N2 for airspeed under normal conditions, I disengage the auto throttle and dial the throttles back a few percent N1. As soon as I place my hands on the stick and throttles, the first big jolt hits the aircraft. Enough to displace my head a few degrees, I glue my eyes to the Primary Flight Display and start scanning the other instruments. Even though I can still see the stars, I have no verifiable visual horizon, seeing as it’s pretty late in the night. The turbulence intensifies considerably, comparable to driving in Michigan before road repair season, on steroids. A few seconds later, I encounter the first wind shear. I increase N2 a few percentage points before disengaging the autopilot, hand flying the airplane allowing at most a change in 50-75 feet. A couple minutes of manual control pretty quickly lead to more than I bargained for. The fly by wire system is interfering with my ability to fly the airplane. As a result, I turn off all the computers for the control surfaces so I can get the maximum control response. Suddenly, another big jolt hits, which makes me bump the stick just a little too much. As I correct for it, I hear the faint sound of gasping and yelping from the back. “Ladies & gentlemen, please remain seated as the seatbelt sign is on.” I speak to the cabin before the shaking further intensifies. Airspeed fluctuates drastically as the airplane gets tossed every which way in response to wind shear. The trapezoid sloshes left and right, my eyes eventually become unable to hold a good scan, and now lightning decides to join in the fun. The cockpit door comes loose from its rope and slams shut. Any screams from the cabin are now lost as I fight for control. Turbulence is now severe enough to jostle my headset loose as the storm barrels towards us. It’s pretty close to uncontrollable up here. From one side, a gust sends us into a Dutch roll. As soon as I correct for it, more air being displaced by the storm spills onto us, sending the aircraft in different movements along all three axes, often in opposition, causing lots of sideslip. Suddenly, we hit the biggest air pocket tonight, which shears to a tailwind and plummets us out of our altitude sector, sending stomachs into chests as if we were struck down by the god of thunder himself. “Friendship 1, you are 200 below your assigned altitude. Climb and maintain FL360.” “FL360, in severe turbulence, aircraft control difficult, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, roger.” Just as I recover to cruising, another set of strong convective pockets strikes the aircraft with enough force to put the aircraft into considerable zero-G parabolas; I float in my seat then settle back down hard enough to get the seat to creak. “Friendship 1, Winnipeg.” “Friendship 1, *oof*, go ahead.” I say counteracting another Dutch roll. “Friendship 1...” Suddenly, the radio and all the cabin lights go out, leaving the cockpit pitch black. “Shit.” I whisper to myself. Immediately, I grab a red flashlight and the emergency checklist. “If you can hear me, Winnipeg, Friendship 1…” Immediately however I realize “everything’s dead. I was just shouting to myself.” Attempts to restart the generators are futile, so I have to start the APU using the last of battery power I have left. Off the backup instruments, I trim for level flight at 36,000’ as the air starts to smooth out. A few moments later, I get the APU started, and the turbulence picks back up, rocking the airplane with enough force to send us into some pretty radical zero g parabolas. Amidst the NASA preview, I hear banging on the cockpit door. Bravely, I get out of my seat to open it, but just as I let Twilight in, a jolt sweeps me off balance, slamming my head into the shelf where all the aircraft manuals are kept. “Oh my gosh! Are you okay?!” “I’m fine.” I spit out as I recover from having just been mildly concussed. “You were supposed to stay seated.” Twilight though presents me with a bottle of water and sits in the right seat as I stop another Dutch roll. “Back to the checklist.” I then say after I reengage the autopilot. “APU and APU generator on. All primary displays returning to life, let’s get the generators restarted.” I continue. “Cycle, attempt restart?” The load meter soars when I turn on the generator. I can breathe a sigh of relief when the generator starts up again, evidenced by the load meter dropping back down and the fault light going out. “Generator 1 online! Generator 2, ready for restart!” Suddenly, the fault light re-illuminates. “Oh, come on.” I whisper. “Let’s try number 2.” “Generator 2… alight!” Unlike generator 1, this one stays on. I restore autopilot and attempt to restart generator 1 again. One extra cycling of the switch, both generators return to normal, but as soon as I put my headset on, Twilight starts panicking. “Twilight, are you okay?” “I...” “Think...” “So...” She says between breaths. “You sick?” “No. I don’t get motion sick.” “Can you make it back to the cabin in case you need a sick bag?” “I’ll be fine. Just do what you need to do.” “Okay.” “Winnipeg Center, Friendship 1.” No response. “Winnipeg, Friendship 1?” “Friendship 1, Winnipeg, how do you read?” “Loud and clear, Friendship 1.” “Is everything okay?” “Affirm, but a pan, pan, pan. Request immediate diversion to best available airport.” “Friendship 1, roger. Stand by for reroute.” “Roger.” “Friendship 1, ready to copy?” “Affirm.” I say with a clipboard handy. “Friendship 1, cleared to Yellowknife airport via YWG J542 YNE NCA15 YSM V21 YZF. Maintain FL320, squawk 1277.” “Cleared to Yellowknife airport via Winnipeg, J542, Norway House, NCA15, Fort Smith, V21, Yellowknife VOR. Maintain FL320, squawk 1277, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, readback correct. Will you need emergency services upon landing at Yellowknife?” “Negative, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, roger, proceed direct YWG.” “Direct Winnipeg, descending FL320, Friendship 1.” I then get on the PA and announce, “Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize. Due to mechanical issues, we will be diverting to Yellowknife to inspect the airplane. We’ll keep you informed as information becomes available, but for now, please sit back, relax, and prepare for landing. We do ask that you double check the security of our overhead bins and seatbelts, thank you.” Twilight then comes into the cockpit and taps me on the shoulder. I remove an earpiece to give her attention. “You okay?” She asks me. “I should be asking you. Are your belongings secure?” “Yeah.” “Anything come out of the bins?” “Yes, but no damage.” “Good thing.” She says as she takes the right seat. As she fiddles with the belt, I check the fly by wire computers. Hand flying and testing for mushy response, I breathe a sigh of relief and leave them on, so I’ll try and autopilot as much as possible. “Winnipeg, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, Winnipeg, go ahead.” “Friendship 1, I need to file an urgent PIREP.” “Roger, stand by.” “Go ahead.” “Friendship 1, from WIEDS intersection, W-I-E-D-S, to Winnipeg VOR, continuous severe turbulence and frequent extreme chop at FL360, first encountered at 0320Z, lasting from about 5 miles NW WIEDS to about 50 miles N of Winnipeg.” “Friendship 1, roger. Say type aircraft.” “Friendship 1 is an Airbus A320.” “Friendship 1, roger. Any other pertinent information?” “Friendship 1, temperature at altitude was minus 8, and in remarks, “strong convective activity, possibly Alberta clipper related, knocked out all of our generators.” “Friendship 1, roger. So, what I have here is “urgent PIREP over WIEDS, W-I-E-D-S at 0320Z, reported by an Airbus A320 at FL360, temperature -8º, continuous severe and frequent extreme chop, remarks, “strong Alberta clipper convective activity, knocked out all your generators.” “Affirm, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, roger. Thanks for the PIREP. Descend and maintain FL200, vectors to Yellowknife.” “200, vectors to Yellowknife, Friendship 1.” A few seconds after I set the autopilot, I then say, “Ladies and gentlemen, we are now beginning our descent into Yellowknife at this time. Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts securely. Please also at this time secure all loose articles and belongings, lower armrests, return your tray tables and seat backs to the full upright and locked position, thank you.” “Friendship 1, proceed direct ITNOT, cross at or below 1,700 and below 220 knots.” “Direct ITNOT, cross at or below 1,700 and below 220 knots, Friendship 1.” Altitude, airspeed set, auto spoilers armed, auto brakes, set to 2. “Approach brief: we can expect runway 16/34, 7,503’ available, airport elevation 675’. Approach speeds, at our current weight, we’ll want to fly the approach at 140 knots, Vref 135 once established, touchdown at 128. Twilight, you mind holding these things?” I ask as she takes my iPad and clipboard. “Uh, Max, did you want me to write that down?” “I already know those by heart, but if you want to, you can.“ “Okay.” “Ever wanted to see a landing from the cockpit?” “Never gave it much thought.” “You’ll get to see one now, albeit in nighttime conditions.” “Sweet!” “Friendship 1, would you like the visual?” “Affirm, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, roger. Descend and maintain 2,000, report the airport in sight.” “2,000, looking for the field, Friendship 1.” Speed to 150 now. Flaps 1. Below VLO, gear down. “Field in sight, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, roger. Radar service terminated, change to advisory frequency approved. Good night.” “Good night, thanks for the help, Friendship 1.” “Yellowknife traffic, Airbus N475UA is 15 SSE, inbound landing runway 16.” Flaps 2. “Yellowknife traffic, Airbus N475UA, left downwind 16, Yellowknife.” “Speed to VREF, 140. Flaps 3.” “Flaps full. Initiate pattern landing.” “Yellowknife traffic, Airbus N475UA, turning 4 mile left base, runway 16 Yellowknife.” “Speed 135.” Twilight calls. “Thank you.” “Yellowknife traffic, Airbus N475UA, turning final runway 16, Yellowknife.” 50. 40. 30. 20. 10. Touchdown, spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse. Brakes off, no turnouts until end of runway. 45 knots, disengage reverse thrust. “Yellowknife traffic, Airbus N475UA, clear of the runway.” “On behalf of your Southern California based flight crew, welcome to Yellowknife. Local time is 22:57. For your continued comfort and safety, please remain seated until the aircraft has come to a complete stop and the seatbelt sign has been turned off. Our apologies for the diversion, but as I mentioned earlier, we encountered some mechanical faults that may or may not be a result of the turbulence over Winnipeg. As a result, when we do stop, we will need to do a complete inspection of the aircraft as unladen as possible. This means all belongings will have to be offloaded with your person. Again, we apologize for the inconvenience, we’ll try to get going on to Anchorage as soon as possible. Thank you.” A few minutes later, after I turn her around with jet blast considered, I shut her down completely and defer the APU, which needs to provide power to the airplane. I then turn off the seatbelt sign and announce, “disarm door and lower air stair.” I then run to the front and do what I announced, then run to the back and open the garage. Both parents are still stretching to wake up, so I ask Twilight if she can help me unload the cars. I warn them to keep their passports handy in case someone shows up, but once the air stair is locked, I clear them off and clean sweep the cabin for loose belongings. After Twilight follows me to the baggage compartment access, now acting as a garage, she backs SARASA out as I follow with MTCHS. When the airplane is unloaded, I grab two more flashlights and put on my headband. The white light around my head and the other two red, I start at the top of the air stair and run around the entire airplane, specifically checking the wings and gear well (as best I can). No obvious signs of damage. I didn’t overspeed the engines, I never exceeded maneuvering speed (notwithstanding any excess from wind shear), and the landing wasn’t hard enough for me to warrant terminating the flight. Nevertheless, I thoroughly inspect all three gear and the engine bays. I carefully inspect inside the jet house and do some rotation tests to check for miscues. None I can find, so I ultimately put the fault down to the generators. To avoid excess wear and tear from a quick turnaround, I load the trucks back on, but as for us passengers, I decide to make some conversation. “I’m really sorry for this. I did not expect that system to move that fast. I expected warning shots across the bow, and I got a “[you] sunk [my] battleship.” “That’s alright.” Night Light yawns. “I’m just glad we’re on the ground for now.” “That was amazing!” Velvet exclaims high on adrenaline. “You’re a darn good pilot if you can get us through that like you just did!” “Don’t give me credit just yet. One of the problems with A320’s of this age/generation is that the generators can be... temperamental. I’m thinking that’s what the problem is. I just put the trucks back on, we can reload, but I’m waffling a bit because I don’t want to get back underway just yet. Since we landed less than a half hour ago, and my inspection didn’t take as long as I expected, I don’t want to do a quick turnaround.” “Sure.” Velvet responds. “Let’s get boarded.” Night Light tells his wife. “No problem. I just need to do some more exterior checks.” As they board, I check my iPad and update my weather via the airplane’s WiFi, find my urgent PIlot REPort overlaid onto the map. “UUA /OV WIEDS /TM 0320 /FL 360 /TP A320 /TA M08 /TB CONT SEV FREQ EXTM CHOP /RM STRG ALBERTA CLIPPER CONVECTIVE ACTIVITY KNOCKED OUT ALL OUR GENERATORS” “Nice.” I snicker as I file our route to Anchorage and take a screenshot of the report. Again, we have to wait an hour or two, so as a result, I check the weather fervently, but just as I enter the cabin, I talk to the family again. “Okay, our flight plan is on file, but I need to wait at least an hour before it enters the system. So we’re gonna have to sit here until then. Fuel still looks good with about 1 hour 45 minutes reserve, which is plenty to get us to Anchorage assuming minimal delays.” “Hey, Max.” Twilight says timidly. “You’ve just been through a lot, why not use this time to relax. Take a nap if you need to.” “I appreciate the sentiment, Twilight. Our wheels up time is in about an hour and a half. If I go to sleep, we won’t make it to Anchorage until late tomorrow, and admittedly, I don’t want to stay in Canada for too long.” “Oh.” She retracts. “I just need some water, the bathroom, and we can go.” After I do just that, I take a few sips of water to keep my throat from going dry. Twilight offers to keep me company, so I let her choose between right seat and the cabin. When she belts herself in, I set lights as appropriate and start the engines. Started up no problem, I now cross my fingers and go for the generators. Generator 1 ready. Switch on! Alight! Generator 2 ready. Switch on! Alight! “Hm,” I think to myself, “maybe all they needed was a reset.” “Yellowknife Airport, automated weather observation, 0551Z. Wind variable at 4, visibility 9 in mist. Sky condition scattered 8,200, broken 12,000, broken 14,000. Temperature -24 C, dew point -20 C. Altimeter 29.62. Remarks: density altitude -3800.” Set flaps 2 for takeoff. “Yellowknife traffic, Airbus N475UA on G, departure off runway 34, Yellowknife.” “Edmonton Center, Friendship 1.” I transmit on Com 2. “Calling Edmonton Center, good evening. You’re coming in spotty.” “Roger that, Friendship 1. Stand by.” I then switch to Com 1 and announce, “Yellowknife traffic, Airbus N475UA departing runway 34 to the west.” 80 knots. V1 Rotate. V2 Positive rate, gear up. Flaps up. “Edmonton Center, Friendship 1 off Yellowknife, IFR to Anchorage.” “Friendship 1, Edmonton Center, loud and clear. Radar contact 2 miles NNW of Yellowknife. Cleared to Anchorage Airport via as filed. Maintain 8,000. Squawk 4212.” “Position checks, cleared to Anchorage airport as filed, climb [&] maintain 8,000, squawk 4212, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, readback correct, you can expect FL320.” “Expect 320, Friendship 1.” > Onward > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Friendship 1, for border crossing time, hold East of BEMOX, left turns, FL320, EFC 10 minutes.” “East of BEMOX, left turns, FL320, 10 minutes, Friendship 1. If able, request 5 minute legs.” “Friendship 1, approved as requested.” “5 minute legs, Friendship 1.” I respond. Just for currency purposes, I hand fly this. At the end of one lap, I modify my next leg by a few seconds to time a crossing of BEMOX right when we need to. If you want to be pedantic, we exit the hold and I report it, but we cross our fix about 8 seconds late. “Friendship 1, exiting the hold at BEMOX.” “Friendship 1, roger. Thank you for the hold. Resume own navigation.” “Own nav now, Friendship 1.” Just as I release the push-to-talk, there’s a loud pop followed by a burst of static feedback. The displays flicker, and the lights cut out for a split second, but no other anomalies to report. The flight continues without much trouble. However, as the clock strikes 0737Z, I get some alarming news from my warning lights. “GEN 1 FAULT” “GEN 2 FAULT” “Oh no.” My expression drops as I scroll through the other alerts. Sure enough, my worst fears are realized. “GEN 1 FAIL” “GEN 2 FAIL” “Well great.” I whisper to myself, making sure Twilight doesn’t hear me. “Better attempt restart.” “APU, start. APU generator, on.” Once alight, I initiate the restart procedure. “Generator 1 ready for restart.” “On!” “GEN 1 FAULT” “GEN 1 FAIL” “Let’s try number 2.” “Generator 2 ready for restart.” “On!” “GEN 2 FAULT” “GEN 2 FAIL” Suddenly, just as I try generator 1 again, a loud bang erupts from the back. The noise wakes up Twilight, who screams in fear. “Shit.” I whisper to myself. “Twilight, it’s okay. I’m here.” “Easy for you to say!” “I know you’re nervous right now, but I need to ask you a huge favor.” “Okay...” “Please head for the rows around the wings and look for any anomalies.” “Okay.” “Anchorage Center, Friendship 1, mayday mayday mayday.” “Friendship 1, Anchorage Center, go ahead.” “Friendship 1, just lost both engine generators. If the need arises, we do have a handheld radio, but we will need priority handling into Anchorage. We’ll go ahead and squawk 7700 at this time.” “Friendship 1, roger.” Tuning 7700 in the transponder, I hear another loud bang from the back. Twilight then screams immediately, which jostles her parents awake after I peer through the doorway. Twilight then runs back to the cockpit and nervously says, “That loud bang came from the wing area.” “Was there any sort of sparks or fire?” “No.” “How about smoke?” “No.” “Okay, thanks.” “What do you want me to do?” “Go ahead and get seated. I can’t restart the engine generators, and the APU and its generator aren’t gonna provide enough juice to sustain proper electrical power. This airplane will suffer a complete loss of electrical power in about 10 minutes.” Twilight goes paler than a bucket as I then grab her arm and look her dead in the eye. “I know you’re nervous, but trust me. Everything is going to be okay.” Swallowing nervously, sweating profusely, and trembling like San Francisco, she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and heads for the cabin. “Anchorage Center, Friendship 1 calling from a handheld. How do you read?” “Friendship 1, Anchorage, loud and clear!” “Friendship 1, good to hear.” There is still one more straw to clutch. Underneath a red toggle switch next to the generator switches is the last ditch effort to garner as much electrical power as possible. Let’s deploy the RAT! “Ladies & gentlemen, from the flight deck, due to further mechanical issues, we will shortly experience a complete loss of electrical power. As a result, please unplug all devices from seat power at this time. We will still be landing in Anchorage on time, but we will be without electrical power. Please at this time open all windows and prepare for landing. Return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts. Return your chair backs and tray tables to their full upright and locked position, and please store all cabin baggage and loose articles at this time, thank you.” No sooner do I hang up the PA when the displays flicker and ultimately black out. Battery off, generators off and secure. The RAT and APU are now our only sources of electrical power. “Friendship 1, radar contact lost. Say position.” “Friendship 1, over JUTBU, at FL200 descending.” “Friendship 1, Roger, can you accept the PTERS Three arrival?” “Friendship 1, unable. We are now without electrical power.” “Friendship 1, what’s your speed?” “404 knots true.” “Friendship 1, roger. Which runway would you like?” “Roger, Friendship 1. Can we follow the Matanuska River valley and make a decision from there?” “Friendship 1, approved. Be advised, radar service unavailable below 10,000.” “Roger, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, descend and maintain 8,000, slow to 170 knots. Gulkana altimeter 29.90.” “Follow Matanuska valley, down to 8,000, 170, 29.90, Friendship 1.” Flaps? Yes! The APU and RAT combined can only power the essential equipment, which thankfully includes the flaps. Now that the valley’s opening up, below VLO, gear down. 3 Green, Down and Locked via gravity drop. “Friendship 1, contact Anchorage approach, 118.6.” “118.6, thanks for the help, Friendship 1.” “Anchorage Approach, Friendship 1, 9,200 for 8,000.” “Friendship 1, Anchorage Center, roger. Say position.” “5 NW of Palmer, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, roger. Fly heading 205.” “205, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, with the wind 030 at 9, could you accept runway 7L or 7R?” “Friendship 1, request 7R.” “Friendship 1, roger. Remain north of Knik Arm, proceed direct to and report the mouth of the Little Susitna River.” “North of Knik Arm, direct to, will report the mouth of the Little Susitna River, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, where are you parking?” “Is there anyone that can take an A320 for major repairs?” “Friendship 1, stand by.” Flaps 2. Spoilers armed. “Friendship 1, contact Anchorage tower, 118.3, they’ll help you out.” “118.3, thanks for the help! Friendship 1.” “No problem, good luck to you!” “Thanks a bunch, Friendship 1.” “Anchorage tower, Friendship 1, on a handheld, Visual 7R.” “Friendship 1, Anchorage tower, say position.” “Friendship 1, Approaching the mouth of Little Susitna river.” “Friendship 1, roger, if able, dogleg your base to avoid overflight of Fire Island. Runway 7R, cleared to land.” “Cleared to land 7R, Friendship 1.” Speed 140, Vref. Final approach 130, touchdown at 125. Flaps 3. Speed to 135. PAPI reporting 3 white. Power back to taxi. Flaps full. 50. 40. 30. 20. 10. Touchdown. Spoilers up, directional control established, rolling resistance from slush. 2 in reverse. “Friendship 1, exit at D or C, your choice.” “We’ll take C, Friendship 1.” “Friendship 1, roger, left C, cleared onto runway 7L, left B, then contact ground .9.” “C, cleared onto 7L, left B, ground .9 on B, Friendship 1.” Taxi, after landing checklist. “Anchorage ground, Friendship 1 off 7L at B, who’s taking me in?” “Friendship 1, Anchorage ground, Pegasus can take you, but not until 0900 local. With your complete electrical failure, will you need a tow?” “Friendship 1, yes please.” “Any port vehicles on frequency?” “Ground, you’ve got Car 95.” “And 97.” “Are there any tugs available?” “I’ll check, car 95.” “Car 97, can you wing walk?” “Affirm.” “Car 97, roger. E K D, hold short runway 7L.” “E K D, short of 7L, Car 97.” “Car 95, what’s the word?” “We’ve got 1 available, on the air in 10 minutes.” “Car 95, roger. Can you wing walk?” “Affirm, 95.” “Car 95, E K D, hold short runway 7L.” “E K D, short of 7L, car 95.” “Friendship 1, if you can, creep up for your escort vehicles, then you can shut down.” “Friendship 1, nose wheel on the Tee, shutting down now.” Once everything is off, I disarm the main preemptively and head back to check on the passengers, who are sitting in pitch black. I turn on my red headlight and distribute the other lights. “Is everyone okay?” I ask. “A little tired, but just fine!” Night Light utters stifling a yawn. “I’m so, so sorry, I feel so bad about this whole thing.” “It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. Thank you for your calm throughout this situation.” Night Light responds. “Friendship 1, ground.” “Friendship 1, go ahead.” “We’re still waiting on your tug, so stay with me.” “Copy, Friendship 1.” “It’s almost 2:00 am, I hope you aren’t too terribly inconvenienced.” “Are you kidding?” Velvet asks. “I couldn’t have asked for a better start to this visit! The storm, the generators, the diversion... and your calm through the situation as if you knew exactly what to expect. You’re a great pilot!” “All in a day’s work, ma’am.” “Anchorage ground, Alaska Tug.” “Alaska Tug, Anchorage ground.” “The super tug driver has gone home and no one else is qualified to drive it, so a regular tug will have to do.” “Great. You guys are splendid!” “Ground, car 97.” “Go ahead, sir.” “Holding short of 7L, request runway crossing for the right wing.” “Car 97, cleared onto runway 7L, then left onto B.” “Cleared onto 7L, left on B, Car 97.” “Anchorage ground, Alaska Tug.” “Yes?” “Ready to proceed.” “Alaska Tug, E K C to your aircraft.” “E K C, Alaska Tug.” “And, Alaska Tug, are you an electric or gas?” “Uh, it’s electric.” “Nice.” I say rhetorically. “I don’t mean to be a wet blanket,” Twilight says, “but I want to go to bed.” “I know, and I’m really really sorry. I swear hand on heart that this was completely unexpected. The thunderstorm was not forecast to move that fast, I underestimated radar attenuation, and in all honesty, I should’ve brought a Boeing.” “Why?” “It can handle turbulence better. An A320 of this age and generation is known for its often temperamental generators. I’ve had them replaced once before, but now that I think about it, I might have a theory about what that loud bang was about.” All 3 look at me rather inquisitively as I continue. “The generators were jarred off their mounts. Thankfully they didn’t explode, which explains how they survived the journey to Yellowknife. They were able to provide some power until they failed.” Twilight lets out a nervous yuck as the radio comes back on, “Ground, Alaska Tug.” “Yes, sir?” “Is the aircraft available to communicate?” “Friendship 1, ground.” “Go ahead, Friendship 1.” “The tug is ready. You can communicate here on Ground frequency.” “Roger that.” I reply. “Alaska Tug, Friendship 1.” “Go for Alaska Tug.” “Do you know where you’re putting us? Pegasus is doing our repair.” “Uh, Great Circle or Ross are the only ones open right now for parking. I don’t know who has space for you.” “Alaska Tug, ground.” “Go for Tug.” “Alaska Tug, advise when ready to tow.” “Copy, Alaska Tug.” “Friendship 1, ground.” “Friendship 1.” “Great Circle and Signature are open, and both can take you. However, you need to be towed to Customs first.” “Roger, I’ll let the tug know.” “Alaska Tug, Friendship 1.” “Go for Alaska Tug.” “We’ll need to be towed to customs and then on to Signature.” “Copy, Alaska Tug.” “Ground, Alaska Tug is Ready.” “Alaska Tug, B K E to Customs.” “B K E to Customs, Alaska Tug.” As I eye the path the tug illuminates, we top out at a biblical 3 mph. “That tug’s not a super, is it?” “No, only one of us is qualified to drive it, and he’s gone home for the night.” “Curiosity question, why does the super tug need specially qualified operators?” “It’s because of the way it mates. With this kind of tug, we just link up the push bar. In the super tug, it mates automatically, which requires extra training that I haven’t received yet.” “Oh, okay. Cool.” “Friendship 1, ground.” “Friendship 1.” “For your information, 130.55 for Signature Unicom.” “130.55, Friendship 1. You want us to stay with you?” “Friendship 1, affirm.” “Roger, Friendship 1.” “How you doin?” I ask Twilight. “Just glad we’re on the ground at this point.” “I can’t apologize enough for this inconvenience. I feel really bad about this. That is not the best experience I can provide. I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, really. We are nevertheless very grateful for this opportunity.” “Absolutely. I ask only your friendship in return.” “Oh, well, let’s not let a little thing like total mechanical or electrical failure ruin our trip!” She responds playfully as I sit back and watch the tow. The frequency is completely silent, and most of the airport is pretty dark. I find it kind of odd, because normally at this hour, cargo flights should at least be making the place appear somewhat lively. 20 hypnic jerking minutes later, we arrive at the U.S. Customs ramp. After the tug unhooks us, I open the main door and air stair so we can deplane. I then meet the tug driver and ask if he’s gonna tow us back to the ramp, and he acknowledges positively. Just then, our customs officer arrives. “Good evening, sir.” The officer says. “I apologize for my haste but I will need to thoroughly inspect this aircraft. Where’d you come from?” “Indianapolis and Yellowknife. I diverted to Yellowknife after hours, inspected for turbulence damage from negotiating a thunderstorm, and continued on here. There was no agent on duty and it was an emergency situation.” “And why did you make the decision to continue on despite your diversion?” “Because after I completed a full inspection, I determined the airplane to be airworthy and in a condition for safe flight.” “Okay.” He says as he shines a flashlight on various parts of the fuselage. “Passengers and cargo, please.” “Three passengers and two cars. Our luggage and other things are onboard, may I unload them?” “Sure.” “Will somebody please help me back out the other truck?” Twilight comes forward and joins me to the garage. The two trucks come out and the officer inspects the garage first. “Anything to declare?” “No.” “I will need to inspect your luggage as well as your passports.” “Of course. Would it help to inspect the bags on the bed of my truck?” “Sure. Thanks for the help.” “Happy to help.” First is my duffel bag. Suspicious items? My laptop and iPad, but no problems there. Up next, Twilight’s carryon. Again, a laptop and a tablet, but the object of interest in her bag is Saline solution. No objections though, so it’s on to the next one. Velvet and Night Light have a suitcase each as well as a large combined suitcase. The latter first. The officer is taken aback immediately with the contents. Mostly foodstuffs and some rather surprising things distinctly Philadelphian, so the officer says, “you‘re all set in the snack department!” “That’s for our son! He just loves all this stuff.” “I’ve never seen these before.” He says pointing to cheesesteak flavored crisps. “I’ve only seen them in Philadelphia!” Velvet answers. “That’s cool. This one’s good.” Next, each of their suitcases. No trouble there surprisingly, so after I direct a complete inspection of the aircraft, the officer then inspects our passports. “Welcome back to the States.” He says when he hands the last one back to us, “thank you for your cooperation.” “Thank you sir, good night.” We then replace the trucks, and re-board to head to get towed back to Signature. Just as the passengers step aboard, a white Tundra meets us. “You, uh, Friendship 1?” “Yeah?” “Signature Flight Support. Figured we’d send a car to meet you.” “Oh, thank you, but unfortunately, I need to stay with my ship, she’s in need of repair at Pegasus tomorrow.” “Yeah? We can hold you. Does Pegasus know?” “That’s what tower told me.” “Well, how’s we meet you there, then you can come back and talk to Pegasus then.” “Sounds good.” “Ready to go?” The tug driver asks. “Yeah.” I call back to the tug driver then say to the Signature employee, “Sorry to send you out.” “No problem. We tried to call you, but we figured you’d still be with ground.” “Sorry.” “No problem. I’ll meet you at the office.” “Cool.” No time lost, I retract the air stair and shut the door. “Anchorage Ground, Friendship 1 for Alaska Tug.” “Friendship 1, Anchorage ground. You ready to taxi?” “Affirm, Taxi to Signature.” “Roger, is Alaska Tug online?” “Anchorage ground, Alaska Tug.” “Alaska Tug and Friendship 1, Roger. Taxi Signature via E, hold short runway 7L.” “E, short of 7L, Friendship 1.” “Signature Truck, cross runway 7L, cross runway 7R, taxi E to your ramp.” “Cleared across 7L and 7R, E to the ramp, Signature Truck.” “Alaska Tug, ground. Company aircraft due out in 20 minutes, are you the only tug available?” “Yes, sir.” “Roger, any Tugs on frequency?” He waits for a few seconds before he keys again, “Are there any airport tugs on ground frequency?” “Ground, car 95.” “You’re not an airport tug. Car 95, ground.” “Next tug driver won’t be available until 4 am.” “Okay, well, I guess the Alaska Cargo is gonna have to wait 20 more minutes before he can leave for Juneau.” “Sorry.” I respond on frequency. “Should’ve brought a Boeing.” Another voice echoes on ground. “I know, right!” I respond back laughing. “Is that you, Car 97?” “Yep.” “Well done!” “Thanks!” “Alaska 7005, you copy that?” “Alaska 7005, negative.” “Alaska 7005, expect a 20 minutes’ delay for a broken A320 under tow.” “Alaska 7005, roger. It’s Airbus, there’s your problem.” “Ground, Friendship 1.” “Yes, sir?” “I wouldn’t mind if the tug could push company on time.” “Friendship 1, roger. Break. Alaska tug, ground.” “Go for Alaska tug.” “Can you tow to E short of runway 7L and then disconnect there?” “Copy, Alaska Tug.” “Alaska 7005, clearance delivery 19.4, for a reroute.” “119.4, Alaska 7005.” “Friendship 1, thanks for your altruism.” “No problem, Friendship 1.” Soon, we come to a stop, and the tug driver declares on frequency, “Ground, Alaska Tug is disconnecting from Friendship 1 at this time.” “Alaska Tug, Roger.” “Ground, Alaska Super Tug.” “Alaska Super Tug, good morning. We’ve got a tow at E, short of 7L to Signature.” “We’re closer to the company freighter, we’ll take them.” “Alaska Tug, ground.” “Go for Alaska Tug.” “Super tug is closer to company, go ahead and continue your previous tow.” “Copy, Alaska Tug.” “Nice. All that for nothing.” I say to myself. Another 10 minutes, and the tug finally gets into position to re-mate. In the process, I make note of our route. “Planned: KIND MEARZ6.BVT J89 YWG J515 YXE J576 YWV NCA11 JOH.WITTI4 PANC - 2,681 NM, 3,086 mi, 4,967 km Actual: KIND MEARZ6.BVT J89 YWG J542 YNE NCA15 YSM V21 YZF CYZF + CYZF YWY NCA17 ORT J124 GKN.PTERS3 PANC - 2,783 NM, 3,202 mi, 5,153 km” Eventually, he radios, “Ground, Alaska tug, ready for tow.” “Alaska tug, cleared across runway 7L, hold short 7R.” “Cleared across 7L, short 7R, Alaska Tug.” “Anchorage ground, Alaska 7005, R, ready to push.” “Alaska 7005, ground, push approved.” “Ground, Alaska 7005, R, taxi.” They call back a few moments later. “Alaska 7005, Ground. Runway 7R, taxi via K, hold short runway 33.” “K, 7R, short 33, Alaska 7005.” “Alaska Tug, cleared across 7R, E to Signature.” “Cleared across 7R, E to Signature, Alaska Tug.” Finally, after an ungodly amount of time under tow, and approaching 12 hours total since I left for Indianapolis, the tug releases us at the Signature ramp. I disarm the main, and open the air stair. I’ve been yawning heavily, and the others are just waking up again. “Rise and shine. We’re finally ready to head out.” Twilight gives me a “loading hourglass” face before she says, “oh, cool.” Her parents are silent, but eventually, they sputter to life, also running on fumes. After my own self-evaluation, I ask who can drive to Shining Armor’s house. Just as I head inside to book a hotel, Velvet shouts, “Max! How dare you leave us behind after all we’ve just been through together!” “It’s already almost 6 am. You have the keys to the trucks. You may as well just head out to get some sleep.” “Not without you!” “I need to be back here in a few hours anyway to meet Pegasus, so...” “Ok, but you’re coming with us!” “Okay. I’ve lived long enough to not argue. Let me just grab my things and we can go.” I say as I grab my clothes bag and jump in MTCHS. After my engine fires up, they fire the diesel up. After a couple cranks beyond normal, the engine starts, and I mention to give it a high idle before we leave. After I head in to register the vehicles for ramp access, we finally leave Ted Stevens behind. When we reach their house, the inky blackness of night ever so slightly gives way to astronomical dawn as Night Light knocks on the front door, answered by who I can only assume is Shining Armor. “Dad?” He says half asleep. “Hey, son. Sorry we’re late.” “Mom? Twilight?” “And we have one more.” Velvet says, “Our pilot and your soon-to-be landlord is with us for the night.” “Or what’s left of it.” I add, “I hope you’ll get to know the real me later today.” “Certainly.” He says as I offer my hand. “Split Scimitar’s my name. I just go by Max.” “Shining Armor. I look forward to “meeting you” soon.” “How’s the wife and child?” I ask half-chuckling. “They’re asleep in our room.” “Good.” “Mom, Dad. Let me show you to your room. Twilight, your room is next to theirs. Max?” “If you don’t mind, I’ll happily sleep on your couch. It was your mother who saved me from a hotel.” “Really? You fly my family all the way from Indianapolis and you still decide to leave us behind?” “I’m really not gonna get out of this, am I?” “Nope!” “We’d like Twilight to join the doubles club. With you, perhaps?” Velvet teases at me. “MOM!” Twilight screams as we exchange equally shocked looks. Laughing heartily, Velvet exclaims, “you would not believe the weather that delayed our plane! It totally came out of nowhere!” As they turn the corner, I grab my next day’s clothes and toiletries for the night. I ask for a bathroom, change and brush my teeth so that by the time I get settled into sleep, the sun, is over Phoenix. > Moving > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Hello?” I answer my phone under some mental fog. “Hi, is this Split Scimitar?” “Yes, that’s me.” “Hi, I’m Open Skies with Pegasus Aviation. Anchorage ATC notified us of a major repair for an Airbus A320 under your name?” “Yes! Um, both engine generators came off their mounts in turbulence, and as a result, we landed without electrical power.” “My, that is a bit of a problem. We’re ready to take her in.” “Sweet. Uh, 35 minutes from now okay?” “Sounds good.“ “Am I meeting you at the office or am I going to have my FBO tow?” “We’ll inspect it there and then tow it after inspection, so come to our office.” “Okay, sounds good. Thank you for calling.” “Thank you. Sorry we had to meet under these circumstances.” “Yea!” I chuckle. “Bye.” “Bye.” I step into the shower at request for a towel and get ready in about 25 minutes. Quickly dressed and all forms of ID handy, I head for Ted Stevens. Instead of Signature, I head for Pegasus Aviation and pull into the office. Checking in with the receptionist, I wait for a technician for about 5 minutes, when a gentleman of about my stature meets me in the lobby. “Split Scimitar?” “That’s me.” I say offering my hand. “Open Skies. We talked on the phone.” “Good stuff. You ready to go?” “Yeah.” We hop in and head for Signature. After I get ramp access, I head for the airplane. Up the air stair, I open the cabin main and conduct an obligatory interior inspection. No signs of damage, but I open all the window shades that weren’t open. Now onto the exterior. Gear wells are good, underside of the fuselage shows no signs of damage. The engines again show no signs of miscues even after rotation tests. The wings? No damage there either, but knocking on the metal produces a rather strange sound. Another knock produces a distinctly different sound than the one before it, which I point out to Open Skies. He then takes a look and makes the same guess as me about the generators jarring free from vibrations, so as soon as I sign the release waiver, I open my handheld and radio ground, “Anchorage ground, Friendship 1 at Signature, tow to Pegasus.” “Friendship 1, contact clearance delivery, 128.65.” “Roger, Friendship 1.” “Anchorage Clearance, Friendship 1, Signature, request a tow to Pegasus maintenance.” “Friendship 1, roger. On request, contact ground .9.” “Friendship 1, thanks.” “Anchorage ground, Friendship 1 at Signature, request tow to Pegasus maintenance.” “Friendship 1, Anchorage ground, roger.” “Any tugs on frequency?” “Ground, you’ve got Alaska Super Tug.” “Alaska Super Tug, can you do a tow from Signature to Pegasus?” “Affirm.” “Alaska Super Tug, taxi Signature via E, hold short runway 7L.” “E, short of 7L, Alaska Super Tug.” “Ground, Alaska Tug.” “Yes, sir?” “Repo for company on South Terminal.” “Alaska Tug, K E to the south terminal.” “K E, Alaska Tug.” “Alaska Super Tug, cross runway 7L, hold short of 7R.” “Cross 7L, short of 7R, Alaska Super Tug.” “Alaska Super Tug, cross runway 7R, E to Signature. Your tow is the A320. Just advise when ready.” “Copy, Alaska Super Tug.” The tug roars across E and quickly mates to the airplane after a simple greeting. Open Skies joins me in the cockpit but then stands in the cockpit doorway when the tug radios ground. “Ground, Alaska Super Tug, ready to go to Pegasus.” “Alaska Super Tug, taxi E, hold short of 7R.” “E, short of 7R, Alaska Super Tug.” “Alaska Super Tug, cleared onto runway 7R, left C, hold short runway 7L.” “Cleared onto 7R, C, short of 7L, Alaska Super Tug.” Much faster than last night, we’re short of 7L faster than I can even think, because next thing I know, I hear, “Alaska Super Tug, cross runway 7L, C K to Pegasus.” “Cross 7L, C K to Pegasus, Alaska Super Tug.” In no time at all, the Super Tug flies us by the other hangars before turning us into Pegasus. When the airplane is clear after wing walkers call it, the tug disconnects, leaving me to check the airplane into maintenance so Open Skies can inspect the airplane. When I return to the house, Velvet answers the door, and I find the family in the kitchen except for Shining Armor, who I assume is tending to their baby. “Max, I’m Cadance. We talked on the phone after my husband handed me over.” “Cadance? A pleasure meeting you.” “Mi Amore Cadenza is my full name, but I go by Cadance.” “Split Scimitar, I go by Max.” I respond, offering my hand. “Do you, um, drive a Kia?” “As a matter of fact, I do. Shining Armor got it for me as a gift a while back.” “I admire his sense of humor. I’m a petrolhead, so gags like that I very much appreciate.” “There you go.” She responds with a smile. “Whenever you’re ready, we can explore the house. Unfortunately, since my airplane did sustain considerable damage in flight, I’m effectively stuck here until it’s fixed.” “We’ll gladly house you.” A few minutes later, Shining Armor emerges with a baby in his arms. “Max, meet our little daughter, Flurry Heart.” I whisper a “hello” as Shining Armor invites me to hold her. I nervously accept as we gently exchange her. Unsurprisingly, she wakes up and looks at me, she then looks around and starts to whine, but after Shining corrects her position and gives her a fatherly smooch, he leaves us be to sit at the table. As I glance towards the table, Twilight chuckles at me as I then lock eyes with the baby. She lets out a few giggles and coos and reaches her hands out. I smile at her as she coos at me and grabs my face. I hear the table snickering as I chuckle lightly. “How old?” I ask. “7 months.” Cadance responds. “How sweet.” “Aww, she likes you.” “I can tell, which is funny because normally, I get a baby in my arms and it cries immediately.” “Well, I guess you got lucky with Flurry Heart.” “Yeah, considering my own daughter was the last baby I held in my arms, I guess I am.” As Flurry wants to touch my face again, I oblige and let her pinch my cheeks, which makes her giggle even more. “She’s a real grabber.” Cadance chuckles as I close my eyes to avoid her poking them. “Not A Bad Thing.” I respond. “Just beware of what she reaches for: Fire for instance.” Shining chuckles as Velvet asks for Flurry next. I then pass her on but give her a kiss on the forehead. She then giggles as I pass her onto Velvet, who gets the same treatment. “Like I said, whenever you’re ready, we can head over to the house and check it out.” “Ready?” Shining asks everyone. “Where’s her car seat?” Velvet asks. “Can you get it from our room, Dad?” “On it.” Night Light responds as he heads for the back. When we reach the house, I enter the code for the front door (after a few guesses) and go room by room. Each time I check for Flurry Heart, she’s in someone else’s hands, ending up in mine just as we reach the master. I watch the husband and wife duo have an intimate and physically heartfelt discussion as I gently rock a yawning Flurry to sleep, yawning a couple times in my arms. After about 10 minutes, they both deliberate by splitting up and looking at the house. From what I could tell, because they’ve let me hold their baby twice now, I’ve got a good feeling about this one. “Max, thank you for the opportunity. It means a lot to us, especially with Flurry Heart’s recent arrival. We absolutely love this house.” Cadence says kindheartedly. “And it’s the perfect place to start.” Shining adds. “It’s a yes from me!” “And a yes from me too!” Cadance finishes as she asks for Flurry. “I’m glad to hear. I didn’t even need to point anything out to convince you. You must really like the place.” “We really do. It’s much more spacious than where we are now, and much easier to manage if and when the need to baby-proof arises.” “I think it’ll come around sooner or later, seeing as she’s very, um, kinesthetic.” “Indeed.” Says Cadance as she puts Flurry over her shoulder. “Shall we get started on the paperwork?” “Absolutely. By the way, if this takes too long, I won’t be available until next week. I’m on duty at base.” “Elmendorf?” “Yes sir.” “Thank you for your service.” “I appreciate it.” After I do some digging, I find the slips and contract for signing. As this is a rental, the rental agreement is also included, which outlines all the basics, the most glaring one being the only utility to pay out of pocket is electricity. Contact information provided. The head of household takes care of the signatures while the second name then takes care of the little things like utilities and such. Ironically, as this takes place, Flurry wakes up and starts to fidget. She’s then let go and slowly crawling. “Careful sweetie!” Shining exclaims. “Can someone make sure she doesn’t hurt herself?” Night Light plays goalie, but a few moments later, as I’m reviewing the paperwork, Flurry bumps into my leg, which Cadance then peers over and exclaims, “Flurry Heart!” “It’s fine.” I respond as I squat down to pick her up, reaching out to me again as I do so. I then hold her in my arms, but she still reaches out, so I let her grab my shoulders. Surprisingly, she kicks her legs as she tries to climb atop my shoulder, so I decide to support her. She coos as I give myself leverage to support her, to which both parents bite their nails. “Help me, she doesn’t want to let go.” I whisper as she gets comfortable in a poor position for me. “I want to take her,” Cadance responds, “but she’ll fight if we do.” “Can’t argue with that.” I chuckle. To reduce discomfort, I try to adjust her into a more stable position for the both of us, but she tightens her grip and groans. “She must really like you.” Cadance chuckles, “she’s never done this to anyone else!” “Huh. The first baby I interact with since my own daughter is the one that actually likes me.” Everyone laughs as I review the paperwork with her in my shoulder. Only missing one set of initials and a signature, I then shake hands and hug each of them to celebrate a successful rental agreement. Since the house is fully furnished, there is some question of what to do with their own furniture, but I remind them that all the furniture can be moved around to their liking so long as it stays in the house. Naturally, Shining and Twilight then shout unanimously “clear the rooms!” “Nice sibling chemistry.” I smile. “He’s her B.B.B.F.F.” Cadance whispers. I raise one eyebrow as she fills me in. “Big brother, best friend forever.” “Uh huh.” I respond. “Inseparable as kids?” “Oh yeah. I used to babysit her.” “So how did you two meet?” “Well, I spent a lot of my childhood with my two aunts because my parents traveled all the time for work, and Twilight was under my aunts’ mentorship, so naturally, I got to babysit her.” “Her parents busybodies?” “At the time. Velvet was writing novels, and Night Light was teaching classes.” “Oh. How does Shining come into play?” “Well, we had all been pretty close to each other for years, so fast forward to Twilight starting high school and us halfway through college, I actually asked him out the first time.” “So, you babysat Twilight and asked out Shining Armor?” “Yeah. We were all practically siblings. We always made excuses to hang out when we could.” “I imagine that it was difficult once you two started dating?” “Not as much as you may think. Shining and I were a year out of college when we got married, so it worked out nicely.” “Oh. Ok. Now here’s a question I hate to ask, why did you wait this long to have a child?” “It’s no problem. We wanted to be secure before having a child, obviously, but Shining was all over the world for his career. Dayton, Colorado Springs, The Academy. Long story short, Shining accepted an open position at Elmendorf.” “Well, congratulations on the selection. Thank you for your service.” “Thank you, I appreciate it.” “Before you move anything, let’s just make sure of the terms. You’re responsible for all damages, you are in charge of electricity, all else covered in rent, set at $6,660 a month, no smoking indoors, furniture can’t leave the house, and, uh, please do treat it like you own it.” “Sounds good. I can do that.” Soon, after Flurry Heart falls asleep in her car seat, we load trucks and start moving out. We all work to clear the house, with Cadance periodically taking breaks to check on the baby. The first things to go are their own piano and the biggest pieces of furniture: Wardrobes, dressers, the beds. All but one bed make the first trip along with a couple boxes of confidential & personal documents. Rinse and repeat. Their strategy of “move everything first,” works out nicely, because after all the heavy stuff moves, two of the strongest stay behind at the new house to move stuff around there. Both trucks make two more trips before Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle join me to conduct a final clean sweep. When we return, Cadance has put Flurry Heart to nap, so after we make copies of the paperwork and they write a check to cover their first month’s rent plus deposit, I hand them the house keys and offer them the opportunity to change the code on the front door. They don’t, because the code is easy for them to remember, so after we exchange keys, we shake hands and exchange hugs again as we then spend the remainder of the day settling in. A few hours later, after almost everything is unpacked, the two sets of parents all pitch in to make dinner. They then head for the grocery store, leaving Twilight and I alone. “So…” Twilight begins nervously. “Well, it’s just the two of us, and one sleeping baby.” “Yeah…” “Can I just say that I really enjoyed our conversation at Adler?” “Really?” “Yeah. Seeing you get so excited about astronomy and maths made me excited for you. It’s not very often that I get to see that marriage of career and passion anymore.” “Oh, stop.” She says blushing. “I’m just lucky to have been born with the desire to do what I love for a living.” “I was too. Let me tell you, I didn’t become a pilot for the money, or the flight attendants…” “Go on.” She replies indignantly. “I don’t mean it like that. The kind of people I went to college with all wanted to see the world or meet their “one in every city” fantasy. Or in the case of some, vie for the legendary multi-million dollar salary. Point is, I like to think I was in it just so I could fly airplanes for a living. I would be one of the happiest men on the face of the earth. Over time, I just did what I needed to do to do just that. Out of it came 5 years of college, 4 mental breakdowns, 3 burnouts, 2 suicide attempts, and one Shattered Dream.” Twilight gives me a worried look as I continue, “but I’m not here to get your sympathy. My point is, I was glad to see that there’s someone else out there who did what they loved for a living rather than chasing the money. Anyway, I’ve said more than enough about me. I want to talk about you.” “Oh! Well, where do I start?” She chuckles. “Born and raised in Philadelphia, attended Purdue, and ended up at Butler.” “Where did your passion for math come from?” “Um, well, I guess I’ve always liked how numbers made sense, so I got into number theory. Most of my time was spent on why the western world reveres base 10, which you proved to know a bit about. Eventually, I got bored of that, so I turned my eyes skyward, and now I wear glasses as a result.” Completely blindsided by the joke, I poorly stifle laughter but then quip back “same” as I offer a glasses swap. Her vision is admittedly pretty bad, while Twilight gets thrown for a whirl wearing mine. “Do you know your diopter number?” I ask as we exchange our glasses back. “Not off the top of my head, but it’s pretty high.” “I take it you’re nearsighted, so that would mean your diopter is negative.” “Well, why do you wear glasses?? These lenses are like nothing.” “One eye is 20/25, which needs to be correctable to 20/20, so one lens is weak, but the other eye is a blank.” “Oh. Yeah, my vision is terrible. I can’t see anything without my glasses.” “Family history?” “Actually no. I’m the first to need them.” “How long have you had them?” “Since elementary school, either 3rd or 4th grade, probably 3rd.” “Oh, well, if it’s any consolation, I think they look great on you. They frame your eyes very beautifully.” “Thank you. That means a lot.” She blushes. “Yours… too.” “Oh, thanks. You, uh, want to… hang out more? I love hearing you talk about your passions, especially because you’ve made a career out of it.” “Yeah. I’d like that. It’s nice to hear you get excited about airplanes and cars too.” “Well… most of that passion is dead anyway.” “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” “You should’ve met me in high school. I loved airplanes and cars more than life itself.” “I’d love to see your collection if it makes you happy to talk about it.” “I’m game. Fair warning, I’m not as excited about it as I once was.” “We’ll see about that.” She says with a wink. As we go on about our interests in a “tell me about yours, I’ll tell you about mine” exchange, headlights shine outside before a horn not matched to either truck signals the alarm system. Velvet opens the door and upon finding us, says “well, aren’t we all having fun. How’s my little grandbaby?” “Actually, uh…” I start. “We haven’t checked on her. Seems like she was fast asleep when you left.” “I’ll go check.” I volunteer. When I find her in the master, Flurry is asleep in a cradled position, all wrapped up to stay warm on this -8° evening. “She’s still fast asleep.” I say when I return. “Aw.” Velvet replies. “Max, can we talk?” Night Light asks. “You and me?” “Yes. I have some questions for you.” > That Can’t Be Good > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “What have I done now?” I retort innocently looking at Twilight. “Just come over here.” He says with a chuckle. Twilight shrugs at me as we both step outside. Night Light then shuts the front door behind us. “Whoops. Locked us out. Listen, I want to make something clear. I’ve seen the way you look at Twilight, and only one other person has ever given her that kind of look.” “Oh? If you’re thinking I’m interested in her, then that is a complete misunderstanding. I’m married.” “Well, she’s a grown woman who will make her own decisions. I can’t really stop her from choosing who she takes interest in.” “Oh?” “That being said, Twilight is my baby. I’ve seen the way she looks at you too, and I can tell there’s definitely something there. If you ever hurt her or cause harm to her, I will personally find you and make your life a living hell.” “Oh.” I say brushing my hair back. “Of course.” “I mean, the fact that you’re married changes everything though.” “Well, that’s where I have to stop you.” “What do you mean?” “My days as a married man are numbered. Been going through the paperwork these past few weeks.” “Gosh, I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. I'm fine about it. I just wish there was a way to make it work, but she made it clear.” I shrug. “Well, I wish you the best.” He says as he offers his hand. I shake it and respond with a firm grip, “I’m a man of my word. I can guarantee you that what Twilight and I have is an admiration for someone who beautifully married passion to career.” “I’m sorry?” He asks knocking on the door. “Twilight is someone who I admire because she displays a passion rarely exhibited: that is to say, the fact that she is doing what she loves and still gets excited about it like a kid in a candy store. That’s a rare sight, and it’s truly a gem in a minefield for me to see something like that, so forgive me if I’m charmed by her for that.” “I’m glad you find that so, especially because yes, it is quite a rare find these days, but this is my daughter, my baby, my Twilight you’re talking about.” “I completely understand, and I thank you for your sentiment, but I want to be clear where I stand: we bonded over our mutual marriage of career and passion, and we’re friends bonding over the fact that we’re doing what we love. As I’m sure you could already tell, I feel the same about airplanes the same way Twilight does about math.“ “Sure, I can understand that.” He nods as he knocks on the door again. “But remember what I said.” As Twilight opens the door, her face drops. “Oh! Dad, Max. Is everything alright?” “Yeah. I accidentally locked us out.” “One more thing, before I forget.” I say after stepping in. “Yes?” I make sure Twilight is out of earshot before I whisper, “now, about what your wife said right after we came in?” “About the whole couples club thing?” “Yes.” “Oh, she says that all the time. She’s just anxious to see both of her children giving her lots of grandkids.” “Okay, because that was rather… off-putting.” “Sorry. She just really, and I mean really, wants more grandkids.” “Clearly.” I chuckle back. “Why Twilight though?” I ask myself, “was she like this with Shining Armor?” Eventually, dinner makes its way to the table. Through the evening, we all make conversation about our lives, I personally surprised that Flurry has been able to sleep through all this. After dinner, I offer to do dishes, but Velvet and Cadance shoo me away, even after loading the dishwasher. After that, I check on the guys, who’ve turned on a basketball game. No real interest from me, I send some texts to Rosalina. “Hey, I made it to Anchorage a couple days ago, but the airplane is definitely grounded. In fact, she’s stuck in Anchorage for the time being. Because of this, I will need at least 24 hours notice if you want to be picked up.” Surprisingly, she responds almost immediately. “Okay. How are you doing? Must’ve been pretty bad if the airplane is down.” “We’re all fine, but I expect to be here for a while. I can still pick you up, but I’ll need extra time to get from here to home to grab you.” “Can you come in 2 weeks?” “Yeah. Just beware, because I don’t know when the repair will be complete, the possibility of me cancelling is definite. But again, it could take anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months.” “Just let me know.” “Okay, thanks. See you in two weeks!” “Twilight?” I ask. “Yes?” “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but how long do you plan on staying?” “A week or so I think. You’ll have to ask my parents.” “Okay. I’m asking because I’m trying to plan my return trips. If the airplane comes out of maintenance before you need to leave, then obviously I can take you home. Otherwise, I’ll have to get you home via airline.” “Mhmm. You can ask them.” “Night Light, Velvet?” “Yes?” Velvet responds. “Any idea on how long you want to stay?” “Do you have somewhere else to be?” “No, no. Not for another two weeks. Depending on how long my airplane is down, I may just have to send you home via airline.” “Well, If you’re giving us the choice, I’ll wait until you’re all good to go. Gives me an excuse to see my beautiful little angel!” “It’s a little too early to make a decision,” Night Light continues, “I’ll trust you to take us back anyway.” “I’m flattered, despite the adventure getting here. That should be most if not all your evidence to the contrary.” “It wasn’t your fault. And it’s kind of nice to be the only people on a plane.” “It is, isn’t it?” I ask giddily. “Take us up once Flurry’s old enough to fly!” Cadance pleads having caught wind of the conversation. “Of course! Though at 7 months, she should be fine. Just give me a minimum of 4 hours notice.” “Duly noted. We’ve just been so busy with Flurry Heart’s recent arrival.” “Absolutely. I’ll make sure to bring a good and reliable plane.” “Yes, please do.” Shining Armor says appearing out of nowhere behind my back. A few moments later, Flurry Heart starts whining. Cadance and Shining Armor hold her, but she doesn’t stop. Grandma? No. Grandpa? No. Twilight then shyly offers to hold her, which calms her down. As she rocks her in her arms, I smile and head for the bathroom. When I emerge, everyone is gathered around in the main room, letting Flurry Heart crawl from person to person. Just as I sit next to Twilight, Flurry then immediately crawls to me, which makes everyone laugh. “Wow!” Shining Armor exclaims. “Flurry Heart really likes you.” “I don’t know why.” “She must have a sense for you or something.” He shrugs. “Weird. Just after my wife and I started dating, the children that she spent a lot of time with said the same thing to her. Which is really ironic, because I’m not good with kids at all.” “You may be better with kids than you think.” “I get that a lot.” I respond just as Flurry climbs onto me. I reach for her, but she grabs my hands and starts playing with my fingers, cooing in excitement as I run my free hand over the top of her head. Eventually, Cadance asks for her so she can put her to bed. I decide to get ready for bed, so after I change and prep for bed, I pass out and set an alarm for 8:45. Next morning, Shining Armor reports early, with a call time of 0900. After he leaves for base, I wake up to the sound of their Cadenza leaving. I hop in the shower and warm myself up for the day, then fire up MTCHS and sneak out to breakfast. A local diner giving me a nice pick-me-up, I soon return to Velvet and Night Light robed up, cuddling on the couch watching the morning news. “Morning.” I respond with an air of professionalism. “Hi dear!” Velvet responds in a distinctly motherly tone. “You’re up early this morning.” “Unusually, I’ll admit. Did Cadance or Shining give you any recommendations or pointers for the city?” “No… unfortunately, we had hoped they’d be willing to show us the city, but with Shining Armor on duty and Cadance taking care of Flurry Heart, we don’t have any set plans at all.” “This is the perfect place for you though. Outdoorsy adventures, fishing on the Kenai, climbing the Chugach. You’re right at home here.” “That all seems interesting, but I’m not really here to have fun for myself. I’m here for the same reason Twilight chartered you.” “Fair point, but since the move is complete, how many days would you take with Flurry Heart before you had to return?” “Well, we’re pretty free. Twilight is obviously slave to academic schedule, so she too needs to be back by the end of the month.” “Quarter or semester system?” “Semester.” Twilight answers groggily as I sit down next to her parents. “Morning, Twilight!” I greet in a mock-chipper tone. “Hi.” She responds unamused. “Why don’t you get ready?” Velvet then asks her daughter. “Did Shining Armor leave already?” “Yeah.” “You know when he’ll be back?” “Probably late again.” “How late is late?” I ask. “His shifts tend to end at midnight, so anywhere from then till 1.” “As commanding officer, would he not have priority?” “Yeah, that would make sense. But I guess even he has to show up to work. It’s not like he owns and operates Elmendorf.” “Fair enough, so what are you gonna do?” “I don’t know. I’ll go anywhere, but if the only reason for you to come out here is to see the baby and help move, your list is complete.” “When you put it that way, Yes.” “Like I said though, there is absolutely no pressure. If you want to head home before the airplane gets out of maintenance, then I just need to know so I can get your tickets.” “I’m more than willing to wait.” Velvet says. “She’s not alone.” Twilight adds shyly. “Unless it does take longer than a couple of weeks.” “Flying someone else would be a slap in the face.” Night Light finishes. “Well, thank you, but it is still a definite possibility.” A few minutes later, Cadance brings a still-sleeping Flurry Heart into the room. She sees me and asks, “did you go somewhere?” “Yeah, I went to grab a little pick-me-up for ‘breakfast.’” “Oh. Where’d you go?” “That diner in town.” “Oh, okay. Well, if you wanted to cook, we have plenty of food in the fridge.” “Speaking of, did you empty your fridge at your old place?” “No we didn’t! How could we forget?” “That’s what we’ll do today then. Clean sweep the house again.” “Then we can list it.” “You have a realtor?” “Not yet.” “One more thing to do today.” Wasting no time, we head for house and clean the fridge. One more clean sweep leaves the house entirely gutted of their belongings. After locking the door for what I assume is the final time, Cadance asks us to stop by a realtor office. She returns after about 10 minutes asking to borrow a car so she can make her viewing appointment tomorrow. That evening, when we return home, Twilight takes Flurry to her room to play as I step outside for an e-cigarette. My wife may not have been blowing smoke when she said she wanted a divorce, but I am now. Eventually, as I go through 2 whole sticks, Shining Armor rolls up to the front door and look at me just as I start my 3rd. “Hey Max.” I respond with a salute, to which he replies “at ease. You smoke?” “I started at 15, then I quit on my own at 18. Relapsed at 23, with e-cigarettes. Can’t touch real cigarettes anymore.” “I’m still under obligation to say that you really should quit.” “Twice I did, and failed. But at least this time I have e-cigarettes. I also run the lowest possible nicotine setting. I do this literally just for the dragon’s breath.” Shining lets out a light chuckle. “Besides, I was on the path to quitting a third time when I met my wife. I can pick it back up fully once we finalize our divorce.” “I would strongly advise against it, especially if my sister does decide to give you a shot.” “What?!” “I’m just teasing. She does like you though.” “And I her, but I don’t have any feelings. It’s just me enjoying her childlike wonder from being able to make a career out of what she loves most.” “Well, I can’t argue with that. She is very lucky to have that.” “I don’t mean to sound…” I pause to inhale, “narcissistic,” I finish with a rather smoky exhalation, “but that reminds me of me, before my accident.” “Accident?” “Long story.” “I’ve got time.” “Not much of a story really, just your typical kid who dreamt of flying airplanes for a living. Then the universe finds every which way to fuck you over when you’re most vulnerable.” Shining takes an awkward breath as I finish with, “as I always like to say, ‘I’m that dude with the keys, a chip on his shoulder, and an albatross around his neck.” I pause then continue with, “but I’m not here to bum you out. I’m out here for some fresh air, and so that your little girl doesn’t get sick.” I say taking another puff. “Well, why not join us now? We’ve been really lucky to have you. I know most tenant-landlord relationships don’t go beyond rent collection, but from what Twilight has told me, you’re a… a real OG.” “I’m honored.” I say with another salute. “At ease.” He responds with a one-eyed ‘right back at ya’. With one more huff extinguishing the light, signaling the end of its life, we head in to the sight of Cadance and Flurry both giving us an equally unexpected thousand yard stare. “Honey, I’m home.” Shining says rather dryly. The stares continue for some time, before Cadance finally snaps out and says, “you’re early.” “Really? It’s midnight.” Her husband quips back. “Max, you smoke?” She then asks me. “Only recently. This is my first in years.” “Well, in any case, please be wary of our Flurry Heart. I don’t want her getting poisoned.” “Absolutely. Besides, as much of a refresher as the smoke is, I don’t give smoking much thought aside from “hey, I want some dragon’s breath.” “What do you mean?” “The only reason I love smoking is because of the dragon’s breath. Nicotine, tar, lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease, it’s off-putting enough, but I love the dragon’s breath too much. This is an e-cigarette custom ordered for the lowest level of nicotine possible.” “I’m not quite sure I follow.” Shining and I then come closer to her so she can see the stick. “This is an e-cigarette which I’m sure you’re familiar with.” “Of course.” “Well, these sticks are custom ordered with a nicotine level so low, you may as well call them lung humidifiers. Essentially, I’m just inhaling water vapor with a nearly negligible amount of nicotine.” “That doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I’ll take your word for it.” “Would I lie to you?” “You’re our landlord. Who knows what you might be hiding.” “Fair enough.” “Can one of you take Flurry Heart? I need to go.” Shining takes her as Cadance runs off, so he heads for their bedroom. Twilight then meets me a few seconds later as Velvet and Night Light decide to go on another grocery run. “Do you have the keys to one of the trucks?” “Which one would you like?” “Not the big one.” “They’re both big trucks, but I assume you want the yellow one.” “Yes...” he responds hesitantly. “Here you go.” I say handing him the keys. “Where you headed?” “Grocery store.” “Cool. Um, would you mind picking up some razors?” “Sure.” “Thank you.” I respond as I give them some money, which they accept. “Have fun.” As they leave, I head to my bedroom for my third afternoon nap, but just as I get comfortable on the bed, Twilight walks in. “Max?” “Oh, hello Twilight. What’s up?” “Not much. I just wanted to talk to you.” “Me? Of all people?” “Oh, don’t be like that. I know you’re interested in me.” “That obvious, huh? Despite the fact that I’m on my way to a divorce.” “Eww.” “Sorry. It’s the truth though.” “Still, I think you’re a pretty great person.” “Thank you.” “I don’t suppose you’d want to make my mother happy, would you?” She responds bashfully. “What?” I respond more confused than shocked. “I mean, she’s been incessantly wanting me to find someone and get married.” She says with clear exasperation. “Twilight, your offer is very flattering, but we barely know each other. I wouldn’t want your first time to be ruined by someone who doesn’t know you, or understand you, that way. Besides, your mom sounds like my dad. “Dude!” He’d always tell my brother and I, “it’s! Practice!” Twilight poorly stifles laughter but responds with a blush and a, “I’m open to experimentation.” My heart rate immediately skyrockets as my face drops in equal proportion. Before I can even give any further thought, Velvet walks back in and asks me, “do you know anyone here who knows how to fish?” “I do, but we haven’t talked in forever, not that he liked me anyway. Wish I could help otherwise. Sorry.” “Oh, that’s okay. I just found Shining Armor’s old fishing rod and thought I’d give it a whirl.” “You need a truck for that?” “Why? Should we take the big one?” “Nah, I’m just messing with you. You can take the yellow one if you want.” “Alright! Do forget the condom!” “MOM!!!!!” Twilight screams back. But before she can say much else, both her parents are out the door and out of earshot. “Oh my gosh! I’m never gonna live that down.” “Even if you actually... do it?” “I don’t know!” “I don’t keep any around, not even my wallet. Since you hinted at it earlier, would you want to… get her off your back?” “Well, that’s not what I was expecting, but…” Twilight says but is cut off when I lay my lips on hers. The kiss lasts for about 10 seconds before I give her that look. I then swallow the last of my pride and shamelessly say, “You know how every body of mass has its own small gravity field?” “Yeah?” “Well, you’re definitely pulling me in right now.” I whisper as I pin Twilight against the wall.