a lot/Psycho
A new frontier. Eh. Oh yeah, God. Goddamnit. Fuck. Anyway, yeah. Twilight was smothering her naked body with Pinkie Pie's blood. Jonah watched from afar and he was somewhat aroused. Yikes. Cronenbergian to the max, daddy. So, yeah, space program, millions died, lots of sex, postmodernism, yadda yadda yadda. You must know the drill by know. I guess. I don't know anymore. She had done this because Pinkie Pie had once again insulted Jonah. Jonah then strapped Applejack to a chair, rammed a funnel down her throat and connected said funnel to a vat of liquefied cheesecake. Jonah flipped the switch thingy and the cheesecake went down Applejack's esophagus. After finishing that job, he crammed Pinkie Pie's remains into a tiny escape pod and shot it out into cold, dark abyss of space.
"Good job, Jonah. You showed those thots their place." said Twilight.
"It wasn't any punishment, you crazy fuck! I was blasting Pinkie Pie into the void of space so you wouldn't get incriminated and I was just trying to make Applejack obese like every true Texan! Do't get me wrong, I appreciate your support, though." replied Jonah.
Then Rarity came in with some Ketamine-laced cookies.
"Bitch! You postmodern fuck! Anus shit!" said Rarity.
Jonah then ate a Ketamine-laced cookie.
"What is society? The existence of the individual is a refutation of society's ideals. Thus, the only truly ethical system is anarcho-capitalism." pondered Jonah.
"Bitch, please." said Twilight Sparkle.
Suddenly, the evil Braeburn came up as a hologram on the spaceship. The snivelling, sneaky cunt said to our heroes:
"Yo, bitches! The dimensional merge is coming! We're all gonna die!"
"Fuck you, Braeburn!" said Jonah.
Jonah then wobbled a bit because he ate a Ketamine-laced cookie. Fuck.
Jonah then disconnected the cheesecake tube. Applejack was now 300 pounds. The minimum size for any true Texan.
"Thank you, pardner!" she said "I was worrying that I was getting dangerously thin!"
The ship entered hyperdrive.
"What the fuck, ship AI?" said Jonah.
"Sorry, Jonah." said the ship AI "The levels of postmodernism are getting too high. We are dangerously close to breaking the fourth wall."
Jonah then punched through the computer screen, slapped the viewer for having read such a stupid fanfiction instead of reading worthwhile works of art such as that Dan X Pinkie Pie crossover thingy.
The ship then entered the fuck galaxy.
"Fuck." said PussyAss, the ship personal commander leopard.
"Well said, PussyAss." said Jonah.
The dimensional merge was all like:
"Yo. I'm a dead world on a metaphysical level. I used to be the DabVerse but now I'mma kill you all!"
"You gay pussy of an eldritch abomination!" said Jonah, before pulling out a gun that was like the size of a bus, ramming it through the wall of the ship with his enormous strength and blasting that fucking eldritch abomination.
The dimensional merge got slightly weaker but was all like:
"OK, that was swag but is that all you got?"
The dimensional merge then put some airpods on.
Applejack then launched herself into space using an escape pod, jumped out and ate the dimensional merge. Jonah then teleported the ship into her area, saving her from dying of asphyxiation.
"I feel slightly bloated." said Applejack.
She then violently shat out the dimensional merge.