Every. Bucking. Day. The same tedious, repetitive, mundane, uneventful routine.
No.
Not a routine.
It's a schedule that is etched in to the very fabric of time itself. In other words, it's a very boring life.
Glorious Elocution sat in a booth with his face in his hooves. He ran a rather famous radio station in Fillydelphia called the “Flying Elocution.” A fitting name for the light gold pegasus. He ran his hooves through his orange mane with gray highlights as he swung his matching tail.
“Time to finish up.” Sighed Glorious. The song that was playing began to fade as the recording sign turned on. “Well, that's all the time we have today. Tune in tomorrow for everypony's favorite radio station, Flying Elocution,” Said Glorious with a fake tone of excitement.
He then pressed the buzzer to alert the unicorns that were powering the station to cut off the magic. Glorious left the studio and began his flight back home. But, mid-flight, he was stopped by three pegasi.
“You're Glorious Elocution, right?” The gray one of the three spoke with a look of admiration, “Can I have your autograph?” He then extended his forehooves to reveal a picture of Glorious Elocution himself, and a pen.
Mentally sighing, he took the pen with his mouth and signed his name. “I absolutely love your work!” He said with a big grin. Elocution's ears perked up, maybe this one is different than the others.
Glorious replied back, “Really? What's your favorite piece of work I did?”
As soon as the last word left his mouth, the gray pegasus' grin vanished and his eyes became hesitant. “Well, what about the time you did that report... On that event that was important.” he said extending the last word; grin returning, trying to salvage the situation
“... With that one pony, correct?” Glorious sarcastically added with a tinge of annoyance.
The gray pegasus looked defeated, but then his pearl-colored friend suddenly looked offended and spat,“Well, SORRY for not mentioning any of the articles you did on your television talk show!”
Glorious couldn't help but roll his eyes. “I think your mistaken, my good stallion. I like to convey my work through audio not visuals.”
The pearl-colored pegasus tilted his head in confusion. Feeling pity for the pegasus, Glorious decided to aid him, “I run a radio show, not T.V.” The pearl-colored pegasus' eyes widened and cheeks burning red with embarrassment. Finally, it was the green-colored pegasus' turn to speak.
She flew towards Glorious with a apologetic smile. “Sorry about my friends, I dragged them here and told them to act nice. I'm actually a huge fan of your work... and other things.” Her voice turned very seductive and threw on a grin to match her tone.
'Let me guess there's a catch.' thought Glorious. As if she could read his inner thoughts, the green-colored pegasus spoke again, “I know every 16-year-old mare says this but, I'm totally in love with you.”
'Bucking knew it,' he thought in response.
“I'm shocked!” The mare's eyes sparkled as Glorious spoke, “Your parents let you date 21-year-olds?” Her face then became void of emotion but, her jaw dropped as if told her that Discord was right behind her.
'Time for truth, as if I had to guess.' Glorious knew their motives all to well. “From what I can tell all of you are clearly not fans of my work, but your interests lie for my fame! Please correct me if I'm wrong.” His words hit like cinder blocks, and the trio remained mute. He sighed and glided past them.
But, just after flying past them, he heard the mare speak up, “Y'know everypony only knows you because of your dad!” Glorious clenched his jaw trying to ignore the acid covering her words but, nonetheless, he continued on his path home.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Upon returning home and opening the door, Glorious turned his attention towards the small table that held a framed a picture of him and his father, Remarkable Profit.
Glorious was the spitting image of his father, the only difference being his father's mane was starting to turn white-gray. But, unfortunately, all Elocution could think about is what that mare said earlier. He hated to admit it, but she was right.
Glorious' father was a successful entrepreneur and his accomplishments were always published in the media. As his achievements rose, so did his fame which, transcended down to Glorious.
Glorious didn't mind being famous... Until high school.
During his time in high school, he was heavily involved in mock trial. It was during one of their competitions with another school that he managed to turn the odds in their favor thus, earning his cutie mark in speech.
But, that's not what interested everypony at school. All they cared about was getting famous off of Glorious. He tried to make friends but, everypony he came across thought he was spoiled rich kid.
Once he graduated high school and started to pursue a career as a voice personality , he thought he could break free of this bucking curse! Unfortunately, he had no such luck. Nobody truly cared for his work and, every time he wanted to make casual talk with somepony, the conversation always revolved around his fame.
“That mare is right..." Glorious started with head in his hooves while leaning on the table. "My life is cursed with the fame my father bestowed upon me!" He slammed hard on the small table. He looked up at the framed picture of his dad and wondered, "If only I could escape...”
Suddenly, a light bulb clicked in Glorious' head.
He originally was a wedding DJ, but with the recent upgrade in technology and, the invention of the radio, he turned in to a radio announcer to share his ideas and talk to a larger audience. Luckily, radios only got sold to large cities.
“If I were to lay low in a small town, hopefully with no radios. I can finally make a name out of myself through not MY work not my father's. ” A slick smile graced his lips.
“But, how can I leave Fillydelphia without anypony noticing? It's like Celestia trying to sneak away from Canterlot.” Glorious thought aloud.
"I can try using the train station but, everypony will be on me like that parasprite infestation a while back... Unless...." Glorious then gasped in revelation.
"Eureka!"
His idea struck him as if Princess Luna herself dropped through the ceiling to greet him. He galloped all the way to the living room to use the phone. He quickly dialed the phone for his agent, Opportunity. He manages Glorious' schedule and any side jobs he wants, but he's quite shady. Personally, Glorious has never met Opportunity in real life. Just phone calls.
“Yo Elo, what's up?” Opportunity spoke through the phone.
“Hey Opp, I need a favor,”
“Shoot,”
“Get a pegasus carriage set up by my radio station at midnight; I wanna go to Manehattan,”
“Why not fly there, yourself? I mean you're a pegasus,”
“Well, do you see Celestia flying to places?”
“No?”
“Thought so. Tell everypony,”
Glorious' then hung up the phone.
“Now to prepare,” Glorious then rushed up the stairs to his room.
_____________________________________________________________________________
As 12:00 am came around, Glorious decided to leave the house. He wore a large trench coat, gray fedora, his custom watch, and sunglasses. The only items he had with him are a notebook and pen, just in case he needed to remember something.
The streets were filled with ponies going to his radio station. Little did they know that he wouldn't arrive for the carriage.
He made his way through the crowd to the Fillydelphia train station. Glorious remained earthbound as to not draw suspicion to himself. The light-gold pegasus trotted his way to the ticket booth.
'Just act casual.' Elocution lowered his voice to the point that it was indistinguishable from his original,
“Next train out,” The red unicorn running the booth tried to analyze his voice, “Hey, you sound familiar.”
'Horseshoes, he's probably catching on; time to use reverse psychology,'
“Someponies say I sound like Glorious Elocution,” The scarlet unicorn chuckled, “Well, they're dead wrong! Enjoy the ride!”
He then used his magic to hand the ticket to the disguised pegasus. "You crushed my dreams, my good stallion!"
Glorious looked down to convey that he was disappointed but, in reality, he was really trying to hide his smirk as he made his way to the train.
Glorious found an empty cab to avoid detection. He sat near the window; waiting for the locomotive to start.
'I wonder where this train's headed.' Glorious contemplated. As he pulled out his ticket to check, the usher grabbed it and punched hole in it with her magic. When Glorious retrieved his ticket he realized that the usher had put a hole where the destination is, so now it reads Destination: Pon__lle.
'Bucking Fantastic. Well, I might as well get some rest.' Elocution took one last look outside and saw the Serendipity Circus being held here in Fillydelphia. He then pulled the fedora over his eyes and drifted off to sleep. His last thought being, 'Serendipity. What an interesting word.'
'Buck... So close!' Glorious stood in the middle of a street, face stained with tears, rain, and anguish.
A figure walk towards him, clothed in what appeared to be a hat and jacket of some sort. Glorious could barely see this pony's face, but he could make out a unicorn horn. The looming figure then stopped as he spoke.
“Glorious Elocution.” He uttered with a dark tone, “Come back to Fillydelphia,” A devious smirk appeared upon the unicorn's face as he pointed to the ponies behind Glorious to emphasize his dastardly plan, “or do my associates and I have to ruin somepony's life due to your selfishness?”
Glorious glanced back to see six ponies, all of their faces outlined with concern. Elocution's drenched head hung low to the floor, “Fine. You win!” As his words were muttered, thunder exploded in the clouds above yet, it sounded more like a loud...
THUD!
_____________________________________________________________________________
Glorious woke up abruptly to the sound resonating from the window next to him.
All Glorious could see was a mass of blonde mane that began to stir. The blonde clump shook and through the cracked train window revealed a pegasus with a gray coat and saddlebags.
Upon closer inspection, Elocution could tell that the pony was a mare; however, what really stuck out to the gold stallion was not the fact that the gray mare has made an innocent glass pane her hit-and-fly victim, but it was her eyes. The orbs of yellow intrigued him due to their mismatched nature.
“Hello! I'm Derpy Hooves,” The gray mare spoke with a lopsided smile taking Glorious out of his thoughts, “You look new. Here, I got something for ya,” Her head then disappeared within the saddlebags, but quickly reappeared with a... muffin? She then used her forehoof to signal Glorious to lower the, now broken, window.
He obliged and proceeded to pull the window down as told. When the cracked glass barrier was out of the way, Derpy threw the baked item on to Glorious' seat. She then spread her wings to get ready to take off, but not before saying, “Have some muffiny goodness!” Derpy then sprang in to the air, beating her wings with gusto as she flew in to the clear, cerulean sky.
Glorious just stood there, staring at the muffin. Completely dumfounded.
“I've met a couple of odd-balls in Fillydelphia,” Elocution pondered out loud as he picked up the baked treat, “but I don't believe I've met some that crashed in to a train window, politely greeted you, and then handed out free baked goods!” He then brought the muffin up to his nose to take in its aroma.
“Hmm... Freshly made.” For the first time, Glorious flashed a genuine smile. He usually got gifts from fans, but this was different. This random, very destructive, act of kindness from somepony who doesn't even know him, filled him with hope.
Although Elocution was grateful, he was still uneasy. Glorious then lifted the alluring aromatic snack to his muzzle and took a hearty bite. He began to think about his current situation.
'Am I truly free from the invasive press, the greedy fans, the—SWEETA CELESTIA! THIS IS BUCKING DELICIOUS!'
All of Elocution's qualms suddenly evaporated. His frown was quickly replaced with a face-splitting grin as he chewed happily. 'Buck the press!' he started, 'I can take on all of Equestria!'
Glorious fixed his fedora, and ate the muffin while trotting off the train with new found optimism.
_____________________________________________________________________________
The golden pegasus made his way through the train station, the train behind him now was loading in new passengers. After taking a few steps in the unknown town, he stopped to take in the sight of the multitude of races, the suburban houses, and the crisp, clear blue sky being enhanced by Celestia's sun. The only sounds he heard was the sound of hooves hitting the stone path and the care-free chatter of ponies going about their normal routine.
He was here in... “Where in tartarus am I? Appleoosa?” Glorious dipped his head in to his trench coat to retrieve his ticket that read Pon___lle due to Captain hole puncher on the train.
'Ya, cause Appleoosa starts with a 'P', genius.' Elocution mentally slapped himself for not remembering, 'Maybe I can ask one of the locals... that are wearing raincoats?' Upon further observation, it appears that the residents of this town are wearing attire for a storm.
'Why would anypony wear that in this warm weather?' Glorious' thoughts were then cut short by a roaring shout.
“INCOMING!”
He turned his head in the direction of the voice, only to get hit by a colorful blur. Elocution and the unknown pony careened towards a conveniently placed bale of hay that stopped their momentum. Glorious remained still as he found himself dazed on the organic cushion.
“What day is it today? Become a crash test dummy day?” Elocution said to himself considering the incident earlier. He got back on his hooves and shook of the the hay that were on his clothes. 'Well, might as well help,' Glorious then grabbed the blue hoof sticking out of the hay with his forehooves and pulled the mystery pony out.
What sprang out was a pegasus, but not your everyday pegasus. It was a mare with a rainbow mane and tail. Her coat was cyan, which could rival the sky's color. But, for some odd reason, Elocution could have sworn that he has seen this pegasus before. She then shook off the excess hay and looked at Glorious with her magenta eyes, an apologetic smile gracing her muzzle.
“Sorry about that,” the rainbow mare spoke with a raspy voice, “Didn't mean to fly in to you.”
Glorious responded with a smirk, “Don't worry about it. Some muffin enthusiast earlier almost crashed in to me,” Elocution recalling the events that transpired on the train.
The cyan pegasus giggled at that remark. “Let me guess, it was Derpy?” she questioned, completely aware of the answer.
Elocution cocked his eyebrow due to her accurate assumption and just had to raise the question, “Is this like an everyday occurrence here?”
The fellow pegasus nodded, “Happens pretty much everyday here in Ponyville,” Rainbow responded
'At least it's more logical than Pon___lle and Appleoosa,' Glorious grinned remembering his ticket.
“Oh, I almost forgot to introduce myself. The name's Rainbow Dash!” When she announced her name, it jogged Elocution's memory. He once wrote an article about her on his radio show because she won The Best Young Flier's Competition in Cloudsdale.
“The fastest flier in all of Equestria, right?” Glorious inquired.
Rainbow Dash swelled with pride and puffed out her chest as she proudly proclaims, “The one and only!”
Glorious couldn't help but smile and roll his eyes at the mare's cockiness.
“Speaking of names,” Rainbow Dash added as she raised a forehoof at Elocution, “What's yours?” She asked; her proud smile now a cocky grin.
“Oh, it's Glo-,” The well-spoken pegasus cut himself off before revealing his true identity. He couldn't allow anypony to know his true persona, just in case some of the ponies in Ponyville are actually from Fillydelphia, and if he actually did make a name of himself here, then news would certainly spread outside of this town.
Rainbow Dash tilted her head in confusion, “Huh? I didn't quite catch that.”
Glorious shifted his head away to avert her gaze, 'C'mon Glorious! Think of something...' Elocution deeply scowled as he furiously struggled for a name, but then an image hit him like the mare in front of him did a few minutes ago. The image was the circus tent he saw before he left Fillydelphia. This gave Glorious an excellent idea. He quickly locked eyes with Rainbow again; his scowl now a light smile.
He spoke up to break the awkward silence, “Sorry about that, my brain just got screwy for a second,” Elocution said while regaining his composure, “The name's... Serendipitous, Serendipitous Speech,” He lied casually.
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow upon hearing Glorious' new alias and responded, “That's an odd name,” Glorious bit his lower lip, hoping his ruse will work. Her face then eased in to a grin, “Mind if I call you a nickname instead?” Once she finished her question, Glorious let out a breath of air he was holding in. He was elated and relieved that she didn't call him on it.
“Sure Rainbow, what did you have in mind?” Elocution asked going along with it.
“Hmm...” She brought a forehoof up to her chin as she thought of a nickname, “How about 'Double S'? That sounds pretty cool.”
Glorious thought about it and simply nodded his approval.
“Awesome! Hey Double S, how bout' I fly you around town since you're new? I'm starting to get bored just standing around.” She offered while stretching out her wings to emphasize her restlessness.
Glorious considered the offer, but decided against it. He usually like to keep to himself due to the constant 'fan' pestering. 'Besides, I gotta decide my next move here in Ponyville.' He thought as he looked off in to the distance while scratching his head with his forehoof.
“Maybe another time Da- 'Oh buck.' His train of thought derailed by what he saw in the nearby distance. Glorious clenched his teeth at the sight.
It was the demon that haunts every fiber of his being.
The bane of his own existence.
There stood, a couple feet from him, a dark brown pony with an enthusiastic smile. He wore a fedora that matched his coat that held three items.
A pen.
A note pad.
And something that is idiosyncratic of that pony's profession.
A slightly tilted piece of paper stuck between the rim and the hat itself.
On that piece of paper was a word in big bold letters that spell out: PRESS.
