Fuck Him
Discord peered out from the bushes. His body was made significantly smaller, just to even fit inside the bush itself and only his binocular eyes peered out. He stared, straight across Ponyville for a long amount of time without blinking. In fact, he didn’t blink at all.
The sky was blue, though he thought it would look better purple. The wind was warm and humid though it would be better if it was raining cats. There were plenty of ponies walking around, handling their business in the marketplace today. They were buying things and they were selling things.
It was so normal and not chaotic. Very un-discord.
It was true that Discord wanted to liven up the place with a bit of chaos. It was true that Discord could if he wanted to. But he was trying to be better. He promised himself that he’d use his chaos for good and not for himself, for Fluttershy’s sake. Discord had promised her that and he’d never break a promise to Fluttershy.
And where was his dear friend now? She was buying carrots at Golden Harvest’s stand. She seemed to be negotiating with the stall mare, while that was not Fluttershy’s strong point, he could make it her strong point. But no, she needed to get better at these things on her own.
Discord watched Fluttershy walk away from the stall, carrots in hoof. She seemed happy so he figured she must have negotiated well. He watched her, particularly lingering too long on her flank, before going back to her face. No, there was no time to indulge on such thoughts. He was here for a reason.
And there came his reason, trotting down the streets, offering to carry those carrots for Fluttershy. Ocean Wave was a newer friend of Fluttershy’s. He’d lived in Ponyville for a long time and had planned to move out to Canterlot to be a professional chess player, but an injury to his hoof set his plans back by months. Fluttershy had met him at the hospital while visiting Rainbow Dash for yet another wing injury and the pair had hit it off, sparking a friendship. What Fluttershy hadn’t told him was that the stallion very clearly had a huge crush on her.
He could see it in the stallion’s eyes. Ocean Wave was head over heels for his dearest friend. This sort of thing did not sit well with Discord. He slashed his tail angrily and frowned. There was nothing wrong with Ocean having a crush on Fluttershy. Ocean just liked to spend a little too much time around Fluttershy because of his crush. The thought of them hanging out so much made Discord jealous and angry. One snap was all it would take to make Ocean go away forever.
And yet, what if Fluttershy liked him back? The thought of that made Discord sick. He was fully aware of his crush on Fluttershy and he knew his jealously stemmed from that. But this was no excuse to snap this poor stallion into an alternate dimension. It wasn’t fair to Fluttershy.
Discord stared at Fluttershy again. The stallion’s eyes were practically hearts. He watched angrily as Ocean gave her a few lilies and trotted away, his tail practically wagging. Oh, the nerve of him! Fluttershy didn’t even like lilies!
He watched as Fluttershy put the flowers gently in her basket and turned away, hardly reacting at all. It was impossible to tell, even with years of experience, if she liked him back. If so, she was hiding it quite well. And if not, then that was that.
If she did like anypony at all, anyways. Maybe the stallions in Ponyville weren’t good enough for her. Discord nearly laughed before he realized that would technically include him, since while his house existed outside of reality itself, it was still within Ponyville town limits. But Fluttershy probably didn’t know that. Did she?
Discord shook his head. He worried too much. If only there was a way to show her that he liked her. That he was better than that stupid Ocean Wave. Maybe there was something that didn’t involve chaos that he could try to get her to like him more than Ocean. But what was it? What would that be?
“Discord, what are you doing?”
Discord’s binocular eyes turned and came face to face with Spike, who had his claws on his hips and was tapping his feet. Discord popped out of the bush and stretched, arching his back in a cat like way.
“Nothing interesting,” He said, throwing his binocular eyes into a magical waste bin that he made appear and then disappear after his eyes had fallen in. More eyes popped back into their empty sockets, just in time to see Spike visibly shutter. Well, he could always see, but it was more fun to pretend that he couldn’t.
“Looks like you’re spying on Fluttershy again,” Spike said, his brow arching. “Look, if you like her, then you should just tell her. Plus, spying on her is a bit creepy.”
“M-me? Like her?” Discord sputtered, clutching his chest in fake surprise. “How could you even propose such a thing? We’re friends, Spike. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“I’ve seen the way you look at her,” Spike said, nodding. “It’s how I look at Rarity.”
“It was a baby crush,” Discord waving his hands at Spike who began to frown.
“So, you do like her,”
“Well, I suppose,” Discord said, giving up. “Still, I can’t possibly tell her. Look!” He grabbed Spike and held him out towards Ponyville Marketplace. “See the blue coated, green spiked maned limping stallion?”
“Oddly specific, but yeah.”
“Well, according to my intel,” Discord said, dropping Spike and flipping through a few random sheets, “his name is Ocean Wave and he is completely infatuated with our dear Fluttershy,” Discord said, teleporting Spike to the ground with a flick of his tail.
“Well… you could just come clean about liking Fluttershy and let her decide who she wants to be with,” Spike suggested.
Discord shook his head so frantically that his eyes jumped around in their sockets. Literally.
“No, no, no! That won’t do! I should just try to convince her to like me more,” Discord said. “No tricks, no chaos, only pure skill. I’ve still got it, after all,” He flashed Spike a pearly white smile. “I’ll impress her more than that stallion.”
“Or…”
“It’s bound to work, Spike!” Discord said, literally throwing copies of his arms around. “I’ll win Fluttershy’s heart with skill.”
“Ugh,” Spike facepalmed. “This isn’t going to work-”
“Thanks for the advice!” Discord teleported away.
“-if she isn’t attracted to you.” Spike finished. He looked around before sighing again and flying off. “I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid.”
~
Discord looked up from his upside-down book as the cottage door swung open. Fluttershy trotted inside, carrying many fruits and vegetables which Discord immediately teleported onto the counter.
“How was your trip?” Discord asked, not moving from his place. Fluttershy sank onto the nearest sofa, as she was out of breath.
“It was good,” Fluttershy said, after a moment of heavy breathing.
“Did you get everything you needed?” Discord asked as he set his book down. He teleported over to the groceries.
Fluttershy shook her head. Some strands of her mane fell over her eyes, giving her a cute look that Discord liked so much. Well, there was much more to her that he liked than that. But the way she took in cute little gasps of air as she took a break made him want to clutch his chest. It was so cute.
“I’m missing the dragon fruit,” Fluttershy replied, rolling over onto her back. Her wings were twitching oddly though, since they were pinned to the sofa, it could have just been the awkward position she was in.
“Oh dear,” Discord said, putting his hand to his mouth.
“Ocean said he knew of a place out near Appleloosa that sold it,” She replied.
“Why would he do it when I could,” Discord said, summoning a dragon fruit into his paw. “I bought it; in case you couldn’t find it.” He set it on the counter.
“Oh, thank you, Discord!” Fluttershy said happily.
“I also completed the rest of your chores,” Discord said, beginning to put away the fruits and vegetables.
“You didn’t have to,” Fluttershy said, rolling over again. She pushed aside her mane and looked at him cutely. “But thank you anyways, Dissy.”
Discord’s tail wagged excitedly from the behind the counter. He always loved that nickname. He wasn’t called it often, but it seemed to be happening more these days. Maybe it was his fabulous new haircut? Or the fact that they had grown closer as friends? Or had she noticed that he and Angel Bunny had formed an uneasy yet solid alliance?
“Anything for you, my dear Fluttershy,” He said, teleporting to her and patting her head.
“Oh, I hope you don’t mind but Ocean Wave is coming to our tea party today,” Fluttershy said softly while looking over her dragon fruit.
Discord kept his face as neutral as possible. “Oh really?”
“It’s just one party,”
Discord frowned.
“Oh alright,” He replied, levitating. “But you know how I feel about inviting newcomers into our gang.”
“Thank you for being so open about this. I know this tea party is meant to be our time to sit down and talk but Ocean plans on leaving in a little while and I wanted to introduce him to all my friends before he did,” Fluttershy explained.
“That’s understandable,” Discord nodded, though he secretly jumped for joy. Ocean leaving was the best news he’d heard all day.
“Thank you for being understanding,” Fluttershy thanked him and jumped up to hug him.
Discord returned the hug immediately. Hugs like this were becoming more frequent as well. He ran his talons through her silky mane and down her back. It felt too good to be this close to her again. He did indeed receive more hugs but between each one felt like over a hundred years had passed until he’d received the next one.
With her warm little body pushed up against his, he could practically die happy. He paused as he had realized he had been holding her and stroking her for some time. He also had realized her breathing had gotten quicker. Did he scare her? Discord instantly let go, dropping her on the sofa. Her face was covered by her mane again so he couldn’t quite see her reaction. Did she hate him for the awkwardly long hug?
“Well, um,” Her voice a bit squeaker than usual. “I’ll set up and you can meet Ocean in the town’s square.”
“Me?” Discord gasped in surprised. His horns spun in confusion. “Wouldn’t it be better if you went?”
“It would be great if my two good friends could bond with each other,” Fluttershy said, still not looking at him. He must’ve really screwed up with the hug. Discord contemplated apologizing but what if it wasn’t that? He decided to hold off on that for the moment.
“I told him you’d meet him over there, and I’ll set up while you’re gone,” Fluttershy said, finally looking at him. Her face was red.
“You got it, Flutters,” Discord said with a wink. He snapped his talons and a plate of crustless sandwiches appeared on the counter. He snapped them again and teleported to the town’s square.
Discord landed directly in front of the blue stallion who jumped back in surprise. The lean earth pony blinked up at Discord then shrank back as Discord leaned in and looked him over.
“You are…” He looked over piece of paper in his talon. “Ocean Wave.”
“Yes, good to meet you, Discord,” Ocean nodded. “Fluttershy talks a lot about you.”
Discord’s heart fluttered. She did?
“I just thought you’d be… shorter,” He said, looking over Discord. “And… uh… a pony.”
“Did she tell you that I was, the Spirit of Chaos?” Discord said, puffing out his chest proudly and burping up a bird that flew away. “Bringer of chaos?”
“Well, yes but I dunno,” Ocean scratched the back of his head. “I guess she didn’t mention that you wouldn’t be a pony.”
“Surprise, surprise!” Discord threw glitter into the air. “Life is full of them huh?”
“I guess,” He said. “Uh so hey, maybe we should get going?”
“No need,” Discord said, snapping his talons. The pair disappeared and reappeared in front of Fluttershy’s cottage. “Here we are.”
“Oh, uh thanks,” Ocean said, bewildered. Clearly, he’d never been teleported anywhere. He looked at Discord who had already knocked on the cottage door.
“Come in!” Fluttershy’s squeaky voice came from within.
Discord pushed open the door, allowing himself in first. The room was the same, only with the addition of food on the table. There were plates of crustless sandwiches, crust only sandwiches, book pages and the delicious smelling dragon fruit tea that sat in the center of the chaos. There were three teacups out, Discord’s chipped white teacup, Fluttershy’s dark golden laced on bright yellow teacup and a random blue and yellow teacup for Ocean. That was usually fast. Maybe her animal friends had helped her out this time. Though Discord couldn’t help noticing the lack of them today.
Discord settled into his usual spot on the sofa while Ocean and Fluttershy settled onto the other side of him. She had sat next to him. Discord’s eyes narrowed, but he did nothing other than stuff a page into his mouth.
“Oh Fluttershy, these are just delightful,” Discord complimented, genuinely enjoying himself.
“It’s from: Beach Glare’s How to Participate in Beach Activities.” Fluttershy said, smiling. “I knew you’d enjoy it.”
“Thank you, Fluttershy,” Discord replied. “You know how much I adore beach related book pages.”
“So, you said you were going away next month?” Fluttershy asked, turning to Ocean.
“My hoof is nearly healed. Doc says I can leave next month, at the very least,” Ocean explained.
“So, you’re pretty good at chess?” Discord asked, butting in. It was best to make conversation with him. Getting to know Fluttershy’s newest friend could be of some value to Discord later, even if the stallion was leaving town.
“I’ve won my fair share of tournaments,” Ocean said and straightened himself out. “Not to brag but I’ve won five medals.”
“Wow, that’s pretty good,” Fluttershy said warmly. “I’ll sure you’ll do well in Canterlot.”
“Canterlot is the big leagues but I’m sure I can make it,” Ocean said. “And if I don’t, there’s always my backup.”
“Backup?” Fluttershy asked.
“I’ve won seven medals for professional swimming,” Ocean bragged. “I could make it in that field as a professional athlete if I wanted to.”
“Wow!” Fluttershy exclaimed. She was completely facing Ocean now. It was like Discord was out of the picture.
“Pfft,” Discord said, crossing his legs. They both looked at him. “That’s nothing. I’ve won twenty-six medals in chess.”
Ocean’s eyes shrunk to pinpricks. “Twenty-six?”
“Yes,” Discord said casually. “I’m surprised it’s such a low amount considering how good I am.”
“I didn’t know that Discord,” Fluttershy said, her attention on Discord now. “Maybe you could give Ocean a few pointers.”
“Indeed,” Discord said stuffing another page into his mouth. He liked the angry fire behind Ocean’s eyes. Discord knew what Ocean was trying to do.
‘Impressing her won’t work,’ Discord thought. ‘I’m winning.’
“I was a professional hoofball player for a couple of years,” Ocean said suddenly. Fluttershy looked to him once more.
“I was a professional soccer player for a bit,” Discord said, getting Fluttershy to look in his direction.
“I was a checkers player for the longest time.”
“I played a good amount of badminton,”
“I was a professional photographer,” Ocean said.
“I invented photography,” Discord said, glaring at Ocean.
“That’s neat,” Fluttershy whispered. “I… um… need to check something.” She hurried upstairs, leaving the two alone below.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Ocean asked, frowning at Discord.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Discord repeated in Ocean’s voice.
Ocean frowned for a moment before sinking back into the chair and smirking. “Wooing a mare, that’s what.”
“Hardly,” Discord snorted.
“Oh please,” Ocean said, leaning into the couch lazily. “It’s working. You just keep butting in for some reason. Don’t tell me you like her too?”
“No,” Discord replied, drinking more of tea. “I just want to look out for my best friend’s best interests.”
Ocean broke into laughter. “Oh gosh, you do! This is rich! Tell me, did you, a mashed-up Frankenstein of body parts ever think you had a chance with her? Mares want a real stallion, not master of chaos over here.”
“You don’t really play chess, do you?” Discord asked, squinting at him.
“No, I do,” Ocean said, shrugging. “It’s not as nerdy as ponies think that it is. Fluttershy doesn’t seem to think so, anyways.”
“I could erase yours and her memories right now,” Discord threatened. “Chess wouldn’t be that cool to her anymore.”
Ocean thoughtfully rubbed his chin. “But you won’t because I know how good friends you are. But hey, how about this. You said you’ve won twenty-six medals in chess, right? I think we both know you’re lying about that but if you’re not then what if we had a little chess match? You win and I’ll back off Fluttershy. I win, you back off. Deal?”
“Deal,” Discord said, shaking the stallion’s hoof.
“You’re on,” Ocean winked just as Fluttershy trotted downstairs.
“I’ve got some old photos my dad used to take when he was a professional,” Fluttershy said.
“Guess what? I’ve challenged Discord to a friendly chess match,” Ocean said. “Just a friendly chess match between stallions.”
“That’s nice,” Fluttershy said, smiling.
“Discord’s agreed to go in fully,” Ocean added. “Maybe Princess Twilight Sparkle can be the judge just to make sure he doesn’t cheat, not that I think he would.”
‘Drat. There goes my plan,’ Discord thought.
“My two favorite pony and draconequus, playing chess together. I think I will come and watch!” Fluttershy said delightfully. “When does it start?”
“Now,” Ocean said.
“Now?” Discord exclaimed.
~
The warm spring breeze blew over Discord’s fur. Usually such warm weather would be enjoyed and reveled in by Discord, but not today. It was a tense situation. Discord was about to go up against Ocean Wave, a more than halfway decent chess player, when he himself was terrible. Real strategy was not one of Discord’s strong points. He usually just went through things chaotically, most of the time, without a real plan.
Discord was terrible at strategy, his past as a villain made sure of that and actual chess was all strategy. So, to play the game and win without any tricks? It was nearly impossible.
And yet, he had to try. For Fluttershy’s sake. If Ocean won, then he would win Fluttershy’s heart and that was the end of that.
With Pretty Princess Twilight Sparkle watching, there was no way he could pull anything. Discord looked at Ocean who was staring at the board. The game had already begun, and Discord was still nervous.
Ocean moved his bishop. “Your turn,” He said calmly.
Discord moved his pawn. The best he could do was try, at this point, even though it was clear to him that he was somehow losing. Even though he was sitting in front of Fluttershy’s cottage, it did little to calm the feeling in his stomach. “Your turn.”
“You know, you’re horrible at this,” Ocean whispered, moving his bishop again. “I’m going to win.”
“Right, right,” Discord grumbled and moved another pawn.
“No, I’m serious,” Ocean said in a low voice. “You’re going to have to watch me kiss her. Isn’t that painful to think about?”
“You won’t win,” Discord said, and moved his Queen.
“Wrong move Dis,” Ocean smirked and moved his knight. “Looks like I have this in the bag. I’ll win this deal and rub it in your face.”
“Deal?” Fluttershy asked, having had moved closer to them. “What deal?”
“Nothing at all, Flutters,” Discord said, moving queen a little further back.
“Why don’t I just tell her? I’m going to win anyways,” Ocean said. “See, I made a bet with your friend here about who could date you. He’s attracted to you, you know. I said that if I won this game of chess then he’d have to stop trying to impress you and leave you to me.” Discord’s face burned and he turned back to the board. He couldn’t believe Ocean had just told Fluttershy everything. Now, not only was he going to lose this match, he was also going to lose his dignity.
“Can you believe this disgusting hodgepodge of creatures wants to date you? It’s disgusting,” He laughed.
Suddenly, the board went soaring into the air and crashed down onto Fluttershy’s front lawn. The chess pieces rained down scattering around random places on the lawn. Twilight had ducked during the incident but was now looking towards where the fling must have come from. Both Ocean and Discord were looking at Fluttershy, so Twilight did too.
Fluttershy was beyond pissed.
“I am not an object for you boys to use for bets or deals or whatever!” Fluttershy shouted, pointing a hoof at them. “I am a mare. A pony. A living being and I do not appreciate being handled around like money! I’m the one who chooses who I want to be with, not either of you.”
“She’s got a point,” Twilight added. “This was low, especially for you Discord. Ocean, I don’t know who you are but that was incredibly mean.”
Fluttershy took in a deep breath and turned to Ocean, “Ocean, it’s been great being friends with you but I’m just not into you like that. Not to mention that you hurt me today. I don’t think we can continue being friends, knowing that you’re mean to my other friends like this.”
Ocean blinked, anger crossing his face. “You would’ve been lucky to be with a stallion like me, Fluttershy!”
“Not one who treats me like an object!” Fluttershy snapped back.
“Fine then. That’s your loss,” Ocean snorted and trotted off, head held high.
Fluttershy turned to Discord who braced for impact. “Discord, this was a horrible thing to do but thank you for being nice to Ocean when you could’ve just sent him to the fourth dimension. But I still want to see you inside. In private. Because this,” She waved her hoof at the situation. “Was not cool. You crossed a line.”
“Ah well, so I’ll just collect these chess pieces then,” Twilight said as cheerfully as possible.
“I’m sorry you had to get caught up in all of this,” Fluttershy said to Twilight.
“No, it’s fine. I never would’ve suspected it either but then again, it is Discord that we’re talking about,” Twilight glared at Discord.
Twilight levitated the scattered chess pieces and chess board into her magical grasp. “Hope you can work this out.” She said before teleporting away. Discord teleported him and Fluttershy inside.
Once they were inside, Fluttershy gave Discord a soft look.
“Why didn’t you just say that you liked me?” Fluttershy asked.
“I was scared to,” Discord admitted, running his talons through his mane. He sighed. “I like you a lot. I noticed that Ocean liked you too. I thought that maybe you thought that he was better than me and I wanted to give myself a winning shot.” Discord looked away. “That’s no excuse for my actions. I’m sorry, Fluttershy.” What had he done? Fluttershy was a toy to be won from a carnival booth. She was his best friend. He should have just come clean from the start rather than fool around with these lousy competitions.
“You’re right, it isn’t,” Fluttershy said sternly. She was frowning. “That wasn’t very nice of you. You crossed a line, Discord. But…” Her gaze softened. “I forgive you,” She said, calmly and hugged him. “But you’d better not even do something like that again.”
“Of course,” Discord said, hugging her back. “But why did you forgive me so easily?”
“Because we’re friends, Discord. And I know you don’t think of me as an object. You were just jealous, and you let that cloud your thoughts for a bit,” Fluttershy smiled. “But some stallions do actually think that way. Those are not stallions I’d like to keep as friends.”
Discord immediately hugged Fluttershy. She returned the hug.
“Do you…” Discord began as they let each other go. It was now or never to ask such things.
“Like you too?” Fluttershy finished. “Yes, I do, Discord.”
Discord grinned. His heart exploded as he thought about what that could mean. They could go on cute little dates together. They could become a couple. They could spend time together, maybe even getting a little saucy together. Their tea parties could be more intimate than ever before. Discord could imagine her snuggling into his chest cutely. It would be adorable!
But something seemed different about the way Fluttershy said it. Did she not want a relationship with him? He had been a bit of jerk earlier with the whole betting her away thing. Perhaps it made her change her mind about him?
There was something familiar about her body language and her tone as she’d said that. He’d seen it before in other mares, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. Freezing time for a moment, Discord thought about it. Why was it so familiar to him?
No.
Could it be? Discord thought what had happened with Fluttershy that day. The longer hugs, the heavy breathing, her tone of voice…
“Do you want to have sex with me?” Discord asked plainly, his voice as neutral as possible. He’d unfrozen time and stared down at Fluttershy who deeply blushed. He’d been so focused on doing lovely dovey romantic things with Fluttershy that he hadn’t thought about the physical aspect of it all. The more carnal side to things. He hadn’t honestly wanted to let himself think about such things. Even though he was more than excited at the prospect of doing those kinds of things with Fluttershy, assumed that she might not want to as much as he and Discord was willing to let that be.
But the way that she’d been acting today said otherwise. Maybe the past month even. He’d been so focused on making sure that she didn’t notice that he was in love with her that he didn’t even bother to notice it himself. Maybe the signs that she liked him, that she wanted to be with him were always there…
-
At the beginning of that week…
“Would you like to taste my sausage?”
Fluttershy squeaked and looked at Discord, blushing.
“W-what?”
“My sausage,” Discord replied nonchalantly. “Would you like to taste it?”
“D-Discord, I-I’ve never done this before…”
“No, no, I insist,” Discord put a green, phallic like object in front of her face. “I was surprised that a pony making a vegetarian sausage made of honey and lettuce actually tastes good! Nothing can compare to what the griffins makes, now that’s real sausage but this was fantastic!”
“That’s what you meant…”
“What else could I have meant?”
“N-nothing! I’ll try it.”
-
Two days ago, …
“Fluttershy, Twilight tells me you’ve got an overdue library book? I can return it for you if you’d like. I know you’re a bit under the weather,” Discord offered, snaking around Fluttershy who shivered from under blanket. He peeked inside and smiled as she sneezed.
“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly burden you like that,” Fluttershy protested. “Besides, it’s…um… a special book so it needs to be handled with great care.”
“I’m good at that!” Discord said, dropping the blanket back down. He teleported the book into his paw and produced a magic shield to encapsulate it. “I’ll return it for you and no harm shall come to it my dear.”
“Oh no, no, that’s quite alright,” Fluttershy protested from under the blanket, sneezing once more. “I don’t want to-”
“Say no more, my dear Fluttershy!” Discord put a finger to where he supposed her lips would be. “Don’t spend energy protesting any longer. My mind’s made up!”
Something about the book caught his eye. He stretched his eye towards the book reading over the title. Right then, Fluttershy snatched the book out of his grasp.
“I-I said… I’ll do it…” Fluttershy heaved, her face incredibly red. The magic shield popped like a bubble and she held the book close to her chest. “It’s… it’s fine.”
“If you say so,” Discord said, floating towards the kitchen. “I was only trying to help. Hey, how about some tea? A little honey does wonders on the throat.”
“I’d like that very much,” Fluttershy replied and snuggled back under blanket.
Discord couldn’t help but wonder why she had a book about confessing your feelings to a friend. Which friend?
-
Last night…
True it was a bit rude to be popping into Fluttershy’s house at midnight, but he had made up his mind. He would return her cookbooks all at once. He’d wanted to get better at cooking, so he’d borrowed them, with Fluttershy’s permission of course, in order to get better at cooking. But Discord had had it with those cookbooks. They were great recipes, of course, but not Discord’s style. They were so simplistic or too easy. Naturally, chaotic recipes didn’t exist in the land of ponies, but Discord at least wanted to make something extravagant and amazing for his friend. Things like crustless banana sandwiches just wouldn’t do.
He quietly dropped the cookbooks on her counter. It was late, very late. Fluttershy was asleep and the last thing he wanted to do was wake her.
“O-oh!”
What was that? Discord looked around. It sounded like Fluttershy. No, it was far too late for that.
“Oh Discord, yes!”
That was definitely Fluttershy. Was she moaning? No, she couldn’t be. Discord shook the immoral thoughts from his mind and shooed them away. It couldn’t be.
“Oh Discord, you’re so huge!”
Discord decided not to allow himself to think about that any further and teleported away.
-
“W-what?”
“I mean, one can only assume that you would have thought about it at some point, since you like me and whatnot,” Discord bent down to play with her mane. No need to call her out on it. It was just best to play it cool. Fluttershy didn’t move as they made eye contact. He was going out on a serious limb here and if it wasn’t sex that she was thinking about, then it would have been a huge embarrassing move for him.
But Discord had his fair share of sexual encounters earlier in his life. Mares were always the same, even across time periods. Fluttershy was no different. However, if they were to have sex, he wanted this encounter to be much different than any previous ones. This one was special to him, rather than just a casual roll in the hay because Fluttershy meant more to him than some casual encounter.
“We don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to,” Discord said as Fluttershy chose to stare at the floor, still blushing. “I’m open to anything.”
“I mean, I have t-thought about it, it’s just that, I-I’m… a virgin.”
She’d said it so low that Discord almost couldn’t make it out. Almost, anyways.
“That’s fine, my dear Fluttershy!” He said, lifting her chin up with a single finger. “We all have to start somewhere, and I’d gladly be your first. It would be a fun time for us both, but I’d make sure that it’s extra special for you.”
“You don’t mind?” Fluttershy asked, nervously looking up at him. Gosh, she was so cute.
“Of course, I don’t!” Discord said happily. “I mean, I’ve thought about it a lot too.”
Fluttershy’s face turned a deep, dark red. “D-do you want to do it… right now?”
“Yes. Do you…?”
“Of course!” Fluttershy replied enthusiastically.
They stared at each other for a moment before locking lips in a passionate embrace. He floated there, holding her as their mouths moved out of sync. Her breathing was beginning to become heavy and he could feel himself beginning to perk up. Discord groaned a little as Fluttershy ran her hooves through his mane.
“S-should we-” Fluttershy began.
“Yes, we should,” Discord replied.
In the blink of an eye, he whisked them away to her bedroom.