> Making Bad Days Brighter > by FabulousDivaRarity > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > A Sight For Sore Eyes > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- To say Silverstream was having a bad day was an understatement. This day was the worst day she could remember since being above sea level. She had woken up that day by falling out of bed and hitting her head on the dresser. That, though, turned out to be the good news. Because she had been up late last night studying and had fallen asleep before bed, she hadn’t set her alarm. Class was in five minutes, and she couldn’t be late! She didn’t have time to shower, or comb her hair. She haphazardly grabbed her books and flew out the door. She made it to Professor Rainbow Dash’s class with seconds to spare. Rainbow Dash, however, had asked for their homework from last night, and when Silverstream looked to find it, she found she hadn’t brought it with her. She looked around for Gallus, who usually was good at dealing with this sort of thing, but found he wasn’t there. A faint memory from last night played at her mind- the sound of somegriff sneezing and coughing. That must have been Gallus. Her heart sank, and she had to tell her Professor she didn’t have it. Class went on after that, but Silverstream found that she wasn’t understanding the material, and she wasn’t sure if it was because she hadn’t studied enough the night before or just because she was so overwhelmed. When she tapped Sandbar’s shoulder, he waved her away with a hoof. “I need to concentrate, Silverstream.” Were his exact words. Silverstream had taken her claw back, and felt tears burn at the back of her eyes. But she didn’t break. Not there. Not in the middle of class. She tried to focus on the lesson, but every time something she didn’t understand came up, it just frustrated her more. When class was over, She went out and hoped that she could get some breakfast, as she hadn’t eaten before. Breakfast was there in the cafeteria still, but everything seemed cold. And when she went to find a place to eat, she ended up slipping on a small spill of juice, and landing face first in her food. She still ate it, but she had to wipe her face off with napkins instead of being able to shower it away. Her whole face was sticky and smelled like syrup. She didn’t have time to dwell on it, because class was soon after the short break. She had a test in that class, and she didn’t feel good about the grade she would get on it. Everything after that was a hazy blur for her, because her mind was on autopilot by that point. She just wanted to get through the day and get back to her room. And that’s just what she did. When the last bell rang, she bolted out of class so fast that she might have left burn marks on the other students. She raced back to her dorm room, threw her things on her desk there, and locked the door. The thoughts in her head were spinning faster than a whirling dervish, and she felt like she was on a ride she couldn’t get off of and didn’t even want to be on in the first place. Her emotions were tumultuous, rising like a swelling tidal wive, until they hit the highest peak. The peak was reached, and the thin layer of self possession she had kept through the day was breached like a pencil poking a hole in plastic. Tears poured out of her eyes and down her face. Her mind was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t think straight, could only sob. She sobbed for her anger at herself for not setting her alarm, for her worry over Gallus, for her sadness from her interaction with Sandbar, for her frustration with how disgusting she had felt not being able to shower today, and for the raw anger that made her feel like her friends hadn’t noticed how terrible her day had been and hadn’t tried to soothe her. But, concerning her last statement alone, she was wrong. Smolder had noticed Silverstream’s distress. It had crawled under her scales like some sort of itch she couldn’t scratch. Some said that the maternal instinct was one of the best indicators of how to read someone, and they would be correct. However, the maternal instinct was a two way path. Just as Silverstream could feel Smolder’s distress, the reverse was also true. Smolder had wanted to talk to Silverstream when school had ended, but she had left so quickly she hadn’t had a chance. Smolder had told Ocellus that she was going to talk to Silverstream, and asked Ocellus to keep the rest of their friends away for a little while so they could have time. She had a feeling that this was going to be more complicated than a simple visit. Ocellus had agreed, and wished her luck, and Smolder had flown off for Silverstream’s room. Before she even knocked on the door, she could hear the sobbing. It twisted something deep inside of her to hear it. She had thought up things to say when she was on her way here, but now all of them just seemed… inadequate. An “I wanted to make sure you were okay” or “I wanted to see if you wanted to talk or hang out” just wouldn’t do. No. She needed something better. She deserved something better, for that matter, and Smolder knew she could do better. Smolder racked her brain, trying to figure out just what to do. Ideas flitted in and out, but none seemed right. Smolder was growing frustrated with herself. Come on! She thought, This is for Mama! She deserves- Wait. That was it. Mama. In that moment, it became clear to her what she needed to do. Words weren’t enough in this situation. This called for action. She saw in that instant what no one else could. What Silverstream needed was to take care of her hatchling. She hastened to get to her own room, and grabbed supplies from her compartment, and stuffed them in a bag before going to Silverstream’s door. She knocked carefully, then checked to see that the dormitory was empty. Mercifully, it was. “Mama?” Smolder called. “Mama…” The knock on the door had been loud enough to shake her out of her infinite sobbing loop. She put a lid on it just enough to be able to her Smolder calling for her. The sound, so small and innocently needy, was enough to calm the tide of emotions that had overtaken her. Suddenly the day didn’t seem to matter so much, as she went to go investigate. When Smolder heard the door unlock, she knew she had made the right decision. She might have smirked were she in better spirits, but Silverstream was sad and she couldn’t bear to see that. It squandered the good of that small comfort. When Silverstream opened up her door, Smolder reached for her. Silverstream, long used to carrying extra weight since the day she and Smolder had taken Yona to fly, Picked up the dragon in her claws and flank-checked the door shut before locking it with a free claw. She took Smolder over to her bed, and it seemed to Smolder as though the remnants of Silverstream’s sadness had evaporated for the moment. Silverstream sat on the bed, maneuvering Smolder in her lap, as the dragon snuggled up to her. Silverstream was happy to do the same, feeling a rush of calmness at the contact. It wasn’t until Smolder began to squirm a little that Silverstream pulled to look into her charge’s eyes. “What is it, sweetie?” Silverstream asked. Smolder rarely liked to talk in her headspace, but today she would try for Silverstream’s sake. “Diapee, Mama?” She asked, pointing to the bag she had brought with her. Silverstream’s gentle smile made any tension Smolder may have been carrying disappear. “Of course.” Smolder got off of her lap, and Silverstream grabbed the bag and opened it, grabbing a fresh diaper and powder. She turned back to Smolder, who was swinging her legs off of the end of the bed. Silverstream grinned at her. “Lay down for Mama, Smolder.” She cooed. Smolder nodded, contented, assuming the position. Silverstream got her diapered, and found her smile again. Seeing that Smolder cared about her enough to do this meant more to her than she could say. When Smolder was padded, she sat up, smiling, and Silverstream’s grin widened. “You’re such a sweet little hatchling, Smolder. So precious.” She cooed, nuzzling the dragon. Smolder giggled in response, and gave her a hug. Silverstream could have held on forever, with the comfort and bliss it brought her. Of all the gifts she had ever received, whether they be physical gifts like a necklace, the intangible gift of being able to attend the School Of Friendship, of all the gestures of others, the gifts big or small she’d been given, the gift of friends and family, none were so great as this. The gift of motherhood and of having someone to care about who cared for her just the same was the best one she had ever received, by far. When she looked down at Smolder, her eyes were glistening, glittering like prisms with what may very well have been unshed tears. But in the eyes themselves there was nothing but love and trust in her. It made her want to cry, that shiny evidence of just how much she was loved and needed. So many times she had felt like she wasn’t needed in her life. Yes, she was wanted certainly, by her family and her friends. But she hadn’t felt particularly needed with them. All of them were more than capable of doing things on their own. None of them had depended on her specifically for anything, and none had seemed to care. There had been a sort of hole there inside of her, waiting for that need to be fulfilled, and Smolder had been the one to do it. She wouldn’t have had it any other way. Silverstream could not imagine having all of this. A beautiful hatchling who depended on her, Ocellus who was more than happy to babysit when the need arose, friends who cared about her and wanted her to be happy, even when she herself didn’t always see the forest for the trees on days like today. Sometimes the bad days seemed to block out the sun, but moments like these broke through the clouds, and let her see the light again. It seemed like every bad thing that had happened today had been a guiding star, pointing her on her way to this moment, where she was able to see just how much she had to be grateful for. In the more hectic weeks of school, especially the last two, she had had a hard time finding those reasons to be grateful. When the stress overwhelmed her, got her down, she had trouble seeing beyond it. Moments like these helped her see from Ponyville all the way to Mount Aris. Silverstream kissed Smolder’s head. That was a rarity between them, reserved for only them most severe of circumstances. Hugs were given by the bushel, cuddles were never a question. Kisses, though, were special, for times where serious showings of affection were needed. It was sort of an unspoken rule between them, saving those for special occasions so they would be just that- special. Smolder looked up at Silverstream, blue eyes big. Silverstream just smiled gently at her before nuzzling her tenderly. Occasionally one of them thought to say something, but really, it just wouldn’t have been the same. They didn’t need words right now, everything being said through touch or eye contact. To get to that place of being so in tune with the other was an anomaly most romantic couples weren’t blessed with for years, and in a relationship like this it was even more rare because they hadn’t known each other nearly as long. For a very long time they just sat there in the quiet, until Smolder began to shift. There was a notable difference between shifting and squirming in Smolder’s case. Squirming, the constant wriggling in Silverstream’s embrace or in her lap, could mean two things: one, that she wanted to get down and play, and two that she needed the bathroom. Shifting, where she moved just a little at one time then more a few minutes later, always meant the latter option. Silverstream decided that now was the time to break the silent spell that had fallen over the room. “You gotta potty, sweetie?” She chirped. Smolder nodded. She only had to pee, thankfully. She didn’t dare use her diaper for messing again- that hadn’t happened since the first time she did it on accident. Despite this, she didn’t wear her diapers often enough to be able to convince herself to just… let go. It took some doing for her, convincing herself that it was okay, and acceptable. Silverstream was more than ready to help with that. “You can go potty, Smolder. It’s okay. That’s what hatchlings do.” Smolder attempted to internalize those words, keep them in her brain and her body for another day as she reflected on them. It took longer than she would have liked to admit, but eventually she was wet. Silverstream gave smolder a reassuring squeeze to tell her that she had done the right thing. Smolder, never fond of a used diaper in any capacity, looked over to her. “Change?” “Of course, little one.” Silverstream cooed to her. She got out everything needed as Smolder lay back on the bed. Silverstream praised her. “You’re such a good little hatchling for telling Mama when you need changies!” Silverstream was quick to begin changing Smolder, the dragon watching her. Smolder was, in all honesty, baffled. Emotions weren’t exactly her best thing, but she knew enough to know that how happy Silverstream was- not seemed because Smolder knew when she was lying about something like that- was confounding. Emotional turn arounds could be quick, yes. But could they get to that extreme? She made a mental note to ask Ocellus about that. The changeling would probably know, having read seemingly every book in the library. Much as the turn around confounded Smolder- although a part of her said it shouldn’t have because her plan obviously worked well- she let it go for now. Silverstream was happy again, and that was what she cared about. When she let go of the confoundedness of all of that, she found it easily to slip through the doorway in her mind and immerse herself in her headspace. Getting into her headspace was usually simple for Smolder. When the need to be little got to be too great, Silverstream would swoop in, get her changed, and she was in it. One, Two Three. But this time had been different. The need to be little hadn’t been present. So she had had to try and find her own way to get the door to that headspace to open. It had proved surprisingly difficult, with the two sides of herself engaging in a battle of pushback. The bigger self would win for a while, but then the little one would give a sharp shove for a bit, only to be pushed back again. Over and over again the tug of war went on, until finally, the little self won. She had to admit, she hadn’t expected so much internal conflict over something that usually came so naturally to her. But it had happened, and she had won. That’s what mattered. In the time it took her to piece all of this together, Silverstream had finished changing her. Smolder sat up as Silverstream disposed of the diaper and washed her claws. Then, the hippogriff breezed back into the room, an air of lightness around her. Silverstream had been about to ask Smolder what she wanted to do now, but Smolder, quick as a whip, had beat her to the punch. Smolder held one of her books in her claw. Silverstream smiled. “Want me to read to you?” Silverstream asked. Smolder nodded, and when Silverstream sat down on the bed, climbed into her lap and stuck a claw into her mouth to suck on as Silverstream began to read. Silverstream’s voice carried her away into a world of meadows filled with birds and multiple nests, but it did not mean Smolder was entirely unaware of sensations. Aside from Silverstream’s warmth and softness, she felt the smooth silkiness of the blanket covering the bed, and the reassuring padding between her legs. She felt the reverberations of Silverstream speaking as she leaned into her, and the somewhat muffled sound of Silverstream’s heartbeat in one of her ears. When Silverstream’s reading was over, as if on cue, Smolder’s stomach growled. Silverstream laughed happily. “I think I know what that means.” She grinned, and got up once Smolder scrambled from her lap. She grabbed a bottle from the bag, filled it with milk, and sat back down to feed Smolder. Smolder nursed at the bottle, and mused on if she had any gems in her room to eat later. That would be nice. Soon though, her thoughts dissipated, and she became focused on drawing out the milk. In this odd place, Smolder felt as though she was floating. Thoughts were drowned out, and feelings were made clearer. Smolder focused on her feeling of safety, on her happiness, and on her peace. Silverstream, for her part, was focused on the feeling of purposefulness inside of her. The light inside of her that came from moments like these lit her up inside- brighter than the sun. She almost giggled at the idea that, were she a pony, she might have gotten a cutie mark in this. She had learned all about that in Professor Twilight’s class. But even though hippogriffs didn’t get cutie marks, she didn’t need one to know that her place was right here. When Smolder was done, Silverstream burped her over her shoulder, with only a small burst of fire for her effort. After that, Smolder rested against her shoulder, and Silverstream held onto her for a long time after. It was the best worst day Silverstream had ever had. Later that night when the rest of the dorm was asleep, Silverstream stayed awake, and turned the light on at her desk, getting out a quill and paper, and beginning to write. Dear Cousin Skystar, You always said that one small thing could make a really big difference. Today, I learned how much that was right, and how the worst days can become the best ones by small gestures. But first I have a story to tell you. Remember those seaponies we used to come across in those trenches? Well… > The Letter > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two weeks after Silverstream’s best worst day, Silverstream received a letter from Cousin Skystar. Silverstream smiled. Her cousin’s writing was certainly messy after all that time spent underwater, but it was legible. Silverstream smiled, and unfurled the letter, beginning to read. Dear Cousin Silverstream, I was so happy to hear from you after all of this time! I’ve been missing all the fun we used to have since Mom sent you to The School Of Friendship. You’ll have to say hi to Pinkie Pie for me if you see her- she was so much fun when she came to Seaquestria! I can’t believe that felt like so long ago. Honestly Cuz, when I got your letter, I wasn’t surprised really. You’ve always been a caretaker and making somegriff happy is something you were always good at. I know you didn’t tell me who it was out of respect for them, but whoever they are, they are really lucky to have you. You’ve got so much to give, and I’m really happy for you. To hear that you found somegriff who makes you as happy as you’ve said, that means a lot. It makes me happy to know you have such amazing friends. Shelly and Sheldon have come out of their shells and up on the surface a few times. They loved seeing Mount Aris but they still think of Seaquestria as home. I don’t blame them, since it’s where they grew up. Mom kind of goes back and forth between them for obvious reasons. I don’t really know how she does it. It’s like she’s trying to be Queen in two places at once. Sometimes I get tired just watching her! Me… I’m not really sure where I fit yet. I love both places, so I try and stay with Mom to get the best of both. Your brother Terramar understands that better than anygriff. We talk about it a lot. I’ve seen your Mom and Dad in the meantime, and they’re both doing well. Your Dad is still running the “Proud To Be A Hippogriff Festival” on the weekends, and your Mom has My Mom over for tea a lot, and me too. They miss you, and I do too. I hope you know, that whoever you’ve taken under your wing, or fin for that matter, I’d love to meet them, and I consider them a part of the family already. I’m sure your parents and brother would too, if it counts for anything. If you care about them, they’re family. Come visit soon, Cousin. I miss you! Love, Cousin Skystar