> Why is Princess Luna a Teenage Anthro in my Life Now?
>  by TwiPON3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> So, you're actually a pony princess and not a cosplayer?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a dark night and everything seemed to be going as normal in Alpines City.

The one thing that wasn't going as planned though, was the arrival of a certain pony.

Anyway, our story begins in a somewhat crowded restaurant. Our main character, walking back to sit down with his chicken sandwich and soda, pushed a few blue strands of hair out of his eyes, then glasses back to his face.

"Ugh," he muttered to himself, taking his headphones off and placing them around his neck before almost tripping on someone with wings and a horn.

"Hey!" she said as he almost fell.

"Why are you in the floor?"

"Thou art asking us questions that we know not the answers to."

"So, to put it simply, yous fell."

He noticed she had hooves for feet, and a muzzle. Her horn and wings looked like they were real, even better than some plastic surgeons could do. She was dark blue, had sky blue eyes, and wore a halter top dress that was purple and had a black neck with a crescent moon on the front of it. Her hair and tail were a more vivid purple than the dress, and seemed to naturally have glitter mixed into her strands.

She also wore a black tiara.

"You might say that about us," she said as he helped her to her feet hooves until she was steady, "Thank you. We are most appreciative of your help."

"Eh, don't mention it," he said, closing his mechanical wings and pushing a strand of blue and black hair from his face.

"Before you go, what is your name?"

"Midnight Fang."

The girl looked at him, then then asked again, but her horn glowed this time.

"What is your name?"

"Without all of the stuff on, I'm just Seth."

"I see."

She had used her magic to see Seth under Midnight Fang, along with the others in the restaurant, most of whom were wearing things like wings, horns, animal ears, tails, and hair dye, just to name a few things.

"Anything else," Midnight replied as the girl's horn dimmed until the glow subsided completely, "Also, what's your name?"

"I am Princess Luna."

"Okay, Princess," Midnight said, "Want me ta get ya something to eat?"

"No, I'm quite fine."

"Ahright," he replied, taking her to his table, "Still wanna sit with me? Ya look like ya new around here."

"I believe so."

Following Midnight back to the table, Luna took note of everyone. Some were dressed as cavemen and cavewomen, others wore odd things like dark glasses, and one person wasn't wearing any strange getup for some reason.

"Why do you all dress like this?"

Definitely new here, he thought, looking at the girl's mareish face, Well, I'll let her spend the night with me.

"Luna, you've got two races of people in the world, since you go by antiquated terms. Those races are people who worship cosplay, and people who don't. Pretty much everyone here does it, but the South, it's the other way around."

"How did you change the appearance of your eyes and acquire your wings and fangs?"

"I just went and bought a pair of vertical crimson contacts, had a pair of wings made, then went and bought the fangs," Midnight said, "I'm cosplaying a guy I came up with, Midnight Fang."

"Pray tell, why would you not rather lead your own life?"

"Cosplaying is fun. You get to dress up like any character you want, and try to act like them. It's even better if you do one you make up yourself," he looked at the princess, "You must be a fan of My Little Pony, right?"

"We are cosplaying the younger sister of the heavens."

"Neat."

After a few minutes of talking and Midnight devouring the sandwich, alongside a bag of red soda, they were tired for the night. Luna, though, still wanted things to be explained to her.

"How about tomorrow," Midnight said as they both left the restaurant, "I have nowhere to be, and there are a few movies you need to see before you understand more of what's going on.

"We... have not been completely honest with you," Luna said when they were a few blocks from the apartment as a new sense of guilt washed over her.

"Yeah, what do ya mean?"

"We are not from your world, rather, one where ponies are the dominate species. A nightmare overtook us and we were banished here"

"Sure you didn't just hit yous's head?"

Luna used her magic to levitate a few things.

"Do you believe us now?"

"Now I get things," Midnight said, seeing Luna's expression fall to guilt, "But who cares about that? Let's watch a movie and live in the now. No use holding it against you if you were embarrassed about it."

"Aren't you-?"

"Dude, Luna, dude, I don't know when, where, or how it is for you, but it's 2019 here. Dat doesn't matter."

"I understand."

The rest of the walk back to the apartment was filled with the two of them talking and, eventually, laughing.

"What do you want to see?" Midnight said, letting Luna in, "My Little Pony, The Croods, Ed Edd n Eddy, what? I swear, I got all of the movies and TV shows on DVD."

"I guess The Croods?" Luna said, unsure of anything as Midnight went and began digging through two boxes of DVDs for the movie.

"Like I said," he emptied one box and went through the pile, "Every. Good. One. Here."

"Of course," the princess said as Midnight found the DVD, went over, and turned on the TV to put the disc in.

"What is this?" Luna said as a video began playing on the TV.

It was of Midnight Fang as a vampony and another pony. Midnight was sleeping, then the other pony came over a few seconds later and began poking Midnight. Slowly, Midnight opened his eyes and glared at the other pony, but keeping his body completely still as if he were still asleep. The poking continued for a few seconds before Midnight shot up, hissed, and jumped the other pony, draining and eating it.

"By my sister's mane," Luna said at the gory mess on the screen, "Why would you dress as such a creature?"

"Because it's fun," Midnight said, putting the DVD in the player, "Plus, I came up with him. Mostly by accident, but I like him."

"What, pray tell, is fun about that?"

"It just is."

The movie began.

"What are we supposed to do?" Luna said as a girl's narration began over cave-drawings.

"Just kick back and watch."

Surprisingly for Midnight, he didn't have to explain much to her, but she still didn't seem to grasp the concept yet.

Or care to dress in an animal's hide.

"What movies are next?"

"Well, I'm assuming, since you come from the world, MLP is outta the question. Everything you've told me lines up with what happened in the series so far, so yeah. I do have other things like Rick & Morty and junk in here. Then again, if none of them suits you and you still wanna do it, you can always make up your own, or go from like a book or game or something."

"I see."

With the rest of the night been spent watching movies and playing games, Luna still couldn't decide.

She knew she wanted to cosplay though, but what?

Their train of thought was broken by Midnight's yawn as he tried to stand up.

"Shit," he said, looking at the clock, "It's 2:30."

"I guess we can continue tomorrow?" Luna said as Midnight stretched and went to his room.

"Yep," he said, "I can pull out the futon in my bedroom if you wanna do that, or I can get you a pillow and blanket and you can sleep out here."

"It's quite alright. I need not extra accommodations because of my nature."

"Also, the royal speech thing, you don't have to do that if you don't wanna."

"I do believe my speaking has been out of place since my arrival. Once again, Midnight, thank you for taking u... me... in."

"Not a problem. Now, TV room or bedroom?"

"Out here will suffice."

"Ahright, gimmie a minute," Midnight said, returning momentarily with a blanket and pillow, "Not da best in da world, but hey, it's still something, right?"

"Right," Luna said, getting situated, "This is nice."

"If ya need me or anything else, just get up and get it. I don't really care."

"Okay then."

Midnight went to take off some of his getup, then crashed on the couch in his room for the night.

"She'll be alright."
> You were up all night, turned me into an ACTUAL Midnight Fang, and came up with an idea of your own... Today will be interesting.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seth woke up the next morning before the Sun rose, an unusual feat for him.

"What?" he said, yawning as he looked at his clock, which read 5:23 AM in large characters, "More time to be Midnight Fang."

When he got up, he started to put his getup on, starting with his wings, but he found that they wouldn't fit right.

What the- he thought.

Running his tongue across his teeth, he felt fangs, but-

"I haven't put my fangs and wings on yet!"

Not having enough time to think, he raced into the bathroom and looked into the mirror.

"Oh my..."

A real-life Midnight Fang was glaring back at him with his glowing crimson eyes.

"Luna!!!"

"Yes?"

"What da hell happened to me!?" he said, putting on his glasses and running to her.

"Well, you must forgive me if I have done wrong, but you said that you enjoyed being Midnight Fang, did you not?"

"Yeah, but-" it hit him what she must've intended to do, "What were yous trying to do?" Midnight said, holding his thirst.

"You said you liked the character, and I simply thought you may be happier if you were Midnight Fang, rather than changing your appearance."

"Luna," he replied to her statement, "Luna. Midnight Fang is a vampire. Vampires drink blood. From other people."

"Shit," she said after a minute.

"Yeah... I'm kind of thirsty right now."

"Oh... How do..."

"We bite our victims."

"I suppose I have cornered myself," she said holding out her arm, "This... won't hurt terribly, will it?"

"Varies," Midnight said, biting down on a vein in the middle of her lower arm, causing her to wince as he drank for a few seconds, "Sorry," he said once he finished, "but I'm pretty sure I can't just walk into a hospital, blood bank, and say 'Oh I'm a vampire now because of a pony princess from another universe. Gimmie blood ta drink.'."

"You still have those bags from last night, correct?" she asked as he started wrapping her arm.

"Yeah?"

"Are they still full?"

"Not counting da one that I drank, yeah."

"I may have a spell to turn them into blood for you."

"Okay, in da refrigerator."

She took the bags of soda out and turned a few of them into blood, testing her spell by putting a drop from each bag on her finger and rubbing it on the sink, "I believe this shall suffice," she said, putting everything back when she was done.

"Okay. Good. Now, what do ya wanna do today?"

"I watched some movies again, namely The Croods, and I believe I have came up with an idea of my own for your cosplay."

"Dat's good. Can I see?"

"Forgive the crudity of this, but I believe a cavetime version of myself would be an interesting endeavor," she said, handing him a few sheets of paper, each with designs crudely drawn on them, "If that fails, then I could try the scientist from another show."

"I can, oddly enough, see yous doing dat," Midnight said, turning to the clock and getting his phone and keys from the counter, "Either way, dere's a costume shop in town. Plus, we can get breakfast while we're out."

"My attire is fine for the occasion, yes?"

Midnight could tell that she hadn't been able to change clothes yet, even if last night's events hadn't played out with him as the person to take the lunar princess in.

"We really gotta get you more clothes. A single dress isn't enough; you need two or three days of clothes at minimum," Midnight got an idea, "Hey, ya might be able to find some things you like to do while we're out. We'll make a day of it."

"I'm willing to try this," Luna replied, beginning to get a "modern" mindset as she smiled at the proposal.

"Now, dere's a restaurant a few miles from here, not the one from last night. Traffic shouldn't be dat bad, so we'll be fine," he said, leading her out of the apartment and to the elevator.

On the way down, Luna asked about the gadgets Midnight was carrying. He explained that the black slab was his Motorola Z3 smarthpone, which did hundreds of things, and his Zune and headphones being how he listened to music, and his watch, which kept track of time and did basic math.

All of this saw Luna amazed.

"Flying is faster than walking, Midnight," Luna said as they went through the rotating door.

"But a Porsche 944 is faster."

"What is a Porsche 944?" she asked, mispronouncing the 944.

"A car. Cars are like chariots and carriages, except they have three pedals and move under their own power."

"Why... do they have pedals?" Luna asked as they made it to his car.

"To make it stop and go."

"Then, what is the third one used for?"

"It's complicated, but you use it to get to the next speed group, up or down. You have to move a lever to actually change them."

"Ah. I think I understand the basic premise of one now."

"Ahright," he said as the two got in, "Dis weekend, I'm gonna teach ya how to drive."

"Wonderful!" Luna replied as Midnight locked the doors and began to leave the parking lot.

"Music?" he asked her.

"Yes please."

He put a cassette in the tape deck and You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) began to play after a few moments.



"What is the name of this song?"

"You Spin Me Right Round Like A Record!"

Luna took an interest in the interior of the car and how Midnight was operating it. Within the first ten seconds, she knew the weekend would be an interesting one at the very least.

It took a while, but they finally made it to breakfast. It was at this place called Tony's Pizza.

"An' dis is it," Midnight said, taking street parking and shutting off the car, "Just flip the peg and pull the lever to open the door."

The two made their way inside and to a table. Moments later, a woman dressed as Yang Xiao Long from RWBY walked over to them and took their orders, two Dr Peppers and a large cheese pizza for both of them, which she enjoyed.

"Don't worry about a thing, Lu," Midnight said, leaving five dollars on the table, then paying at the counter.

"Your friend's really into the whole 'Princess Luna' thing, huh?" the girl said, even having somewhat of the character's accent in her voice.

"Yeah," Midnight said, laying down twenty-five dollars, "Kinda how we met. Anyway, keep the change."

"Thanks," she said as he went back to the table to get Luna.

"Ahright," he said as they got in the car, "I'm gonna park in a garage and we can just walk or however, good?"

"There are so many things here that I never, in my wildest dreams, would've imagined experiencing."

"Like what?" he started the car and got out on the road.

"Pizza, soda, movies, TV shows, all of your luxuries that you have in your world, whereas in mine, everything is hoof-made and hoof-ran. The closest we have to any of what you showed us are plays, and they pale in comparison to what you showed me last night, not to mention what everypony else here is dressing up as," Luna caught herself, "'Everypony' is the correct term?"

"Honestly, it doesn't matter."

"You have a rather lax set of rules here, Midnight."

"Ey, it's comfy."

A few minutes later, he turned into a parking garage, parked, then the two of them began their day of finding the princess's interests.

"Yous got an idea of what ya want the dress ta be like?"

"What if it were like the mom's from the movie, and I were to get my mane and tail dyed with silver spots?"

"If you like it, dat's all dat matters."
> This is cosplay, Luna.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few minutes of walking, they were finally at their first stop: a hair salon.

"What, if I might ask, is this?" Luna asked as they walked inside.

"Hair salon."

"What is the purpose of such an establishment?"

"They fix your hair, or mane and tail in your case."

"What is the procedure?"

"Ya just sit down in one of their chairs and tell 'em whatchya want."

"This can be undone if I change my mind, right?"

"Yeah, but I am NEVER goin' back to brown."

"Yes, well," Luna said as a girl cosplaying White Diamond went over to her.

"How do you want it done?" the woman said with a somewhat-obnoxious New Jersey accent.

"O- my mane and tail?"

"Yeah."

"Well," she looked for a sheet from earlier where she had sketched a design for her hair earlier in the morning, but couldn't find it, "I... I just..."

"Don't worry," Midnight said, giving her the page, "I brought 'em with me."

"Oh, thank you," Luna said, showing the stylist the sketch, "We ask for something similar to this."

"You got it," she said, "Sit down and I'll start in a minute. By da way, name's Chris."

"Should I have brought anything?"

"Luna, don't worry, I gots it all," Midnight said, reading a magazine, "But dat stuff will smell terrible until it's dry."

As the stylist got the silver hair dye ready, Luna became more and more worried, so much to the point where she was shaking.

"Luna," Midnight said, hurrying over to her, "Dude, look at me."

The half-alicorn met his gaze, "Y... yes?"

"Ya gonna be fine."

"I... I am?"

"Yeah. Yous got nothing to worry about."

"And, this won't kill me... when it touches my mane?"

"Uh, no."

"Okay," Luna said, after breathing, "When does the procedure begin."

"Look in da mirror," the stylist said, painting a spot on her hair.

Luna could see the changes that were happening to her. Already, she was stunned at what a difference the silverblue spots in her mane alone made, though she had conflicted feelings about actually going through with this. On the one hoof, she enjoyed it. She was getting to live a life like anypony else where she was staying, more or less. On the other, though, she was worried that, if she could ever get back to Equestria, nopony there would recognize her.

It was an interesting debate in her head, but she managed to ke-

"You okay, Luna?" Chris asked as she finished with her mane.

"What? Oh, yes. It's just that, assuming I were to have to go back home, it occurs to me that I may be completely unrecognizable to my sister, amongst other loved ones."

"Hair dye isn't somethin' permanent, but if it's still silverblue when you wanna leave, just stop by and I'll change it back for ya."

"Okay."

"Now I've never done a tail before, so I'll needya to stand up."

Luna complied then Chris began to dye her tail in silver spots, the same manner she had done to the mare's mane.

"I assure you, this is quite an experience for myself."

"I noticed," Chris said, laughing.





"And there... you... are!" Chris said, showing Luna her hair when she was finished, "Like it?"

Luna looked at herself in the mirror for a few moments with her eyes wide in amazement.

Equestria has nothing of the industry, Luna thought.

"I look like a different mare," Luna said as Midnight payed Chris.

"As long as your subjects remember their moon princess," she laughed to herself as Luna and Midnight left to go to their next stop.

"My subjects," Luna said, "They will still remember me, correct?"

"Whatever happens," Midnight reassured her as they neared the end of the block, "Whatever happens, I'm sure dey're still gonna know who you are. If I were to ditch the body paint, hair dye, and all of dat getup and just stop being Midnight Fang, sure people may be a bit sad because dey won't get to see me cosplay him in my weird and obnoxious way, but dey'd still remember me and know who I am. It's not like you're turning into a completely different pony."

"Right," she said as they began to cross the street, "In Equestria, we don't have anything like what you have in your world. I know I sound a bit repetitive, but, despite not having magic, your world is still far more advanced than ours."

"It's okay," Midnight said as they made it to the sidewalk, "But here's where you get the clothes."

Walking inside the second store, Luna was amazed when she saw all of the outfits. Midnight, though, went to talk to someone who was working the store.

"Harmony," she said to herself while she browsed through the options, "My mane and tail are purple with silver spots, not that it matters, I'm sure," she found a dress designed to look like it was made from a tiger's hide, "This looks nice," she held the dress in front of herself and looked down at it.

"Find somethin'?" Midnight said, startling her as he came back with a bra and pack of underwear.

"What‽"

"Just asking if ya have something you like."

"Oh, yes," she said, holding the dress to him, "I believe so."

"Good. I talked with the person at the counter, and he said that you can go ahead and put on the bra."

Luna, for reasons completely foreign to her, was turning from blue to cherry, "Oh, uh, thank you," she said, taking the bra and dress, "Is there a place where I can change where I'm not in the open?" Midnight pointed to the dressing rooms, "We will be back out soon."

"Take your time, no rush."

She went in, locked the door, and began to change.

"Let's see," she said standing in the stall in her midnight underwear and dark mauve bra, holding the new dress and eyeing it for a spot for her wings and tail, "Arms and legs, head... my tail could possibly come out the bottom, but my wings..." She put a spell on the dress, then put it on, "This appearance is a rather fun one if I do say so."

After a few minutes, she took off the dress, undid the spell, and put her purple halter-top dress back on, then went to Midnight.

"I'm ready," she said.

"Let's go, then," he replied, going to the counter to pay with Luna following.

The guy at the counter was dressed like Young Greg Universe (about the time he met Rose), and even went to the point of acting like him, which made actually paying for Luna's new clothes a bit lengthy.

After that process was over, she went back to the dressing room and changed into the tiger-skin dress.

"What do ya wanna do now?" Midnight said as they left the store, Luna carrying her purple dress in a separate bag.

"We could go back to your apartment and watch some more movies?"

"True, but da TV's got an Internet connection. There's a lot more to watch than what I have in those boxes. Plus, I wanna show you what video games are. Later, I'm bringing yous back so we can get ya a new phone and laptop. You'll be amazed at them, trust me."

"Please do," Luna said, eyes practically glimmering as they made their way back to Midnight's Porsche.
> Your story was just demonetized.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Midnight pulled into the complex’s parking lot, Luna had been scratching her mane and tail because of the dye, so they looked disheveled. 

“You okay?” Midnight asked as they both went into the lobby. 

“Our scalp and tail feel rather uncomfortable,” she replied, scratching them as they made their way to the elevator. 

“Don’t worry,” Midnight said, “The coloring has already dried, so you can just rinse off in da shower.” 

“So, that should help with the itching?” 

He pressed the elevator call button, “Yeah. Just... don’t keep scratching at it.” 

“Okay,” she said, slowly stopping as the elevator door opened and they stepped inside. 

“Good,” he replied, pressing the button labeled 12. 

A minute later, the door opened at Midnight’s floor and they made their way to his apartment, 12D. 

“Bathroom’s across from da bedroom,” Midnight said, pointing to the open door. 

Luna took didn’t waste any time in running to the bathroom, completely stripping on the way and not bothering to even close the door or curtain. 

“Luna,” Midnight said, walking into the bathroom, “I’m fine with you stripping butt-naked in my house, but please,” he closed the curtain, “Close this when ya shower. It makes a huge mess.” 

“Our apologies,” she said over the running water. 

“No problem,” he said, going to the couch and turning the TV to the YouTube app, “Oh, here’s something interesting,” he selected the video, “I love AlternateHistoryHub.” 

A moment later, the stream started. 

“Let’s talk about World War Two!” 




 

Suddenly, Midnight’s phone rang, so he checked the name of the person calling. 

“Ugh,” he said, pausing the video, “Admins.” 

“Hello?” he answered the phone. 

“Yes, this is Shane Dawson, and I’m calling to let you know that your story has just been demonetized because of a line that was just used.” 

“Yeah, I know. Touchy topic, etcetera, etcetera. Is dere anything important? And no, I don’t mean dis as something important.” 

“There isn’t anything else.” 

“Go away, don’t call again,” he said, ending the call and resuming the video, “Dammit all.” 

A few minutes later, Luna shut off the water and got dressed in the living room. 

“Am I doing something wrong?” she said, noticing Midnight staring at her. 

“While I’m okay with shit, given I don’t go to jail, that’s not exactly what you’re supposed to do. Usually, we wait until we’re already in the bathroom before we strip naked.” 

“Oh.” 

“But I guess just do it anywhere as long as I don’t have to step in, sit in, or sleep in something gross.” 

“I was unaware of that rule.” 

“People have been known to do much weirder,” Midnight said as he began setting up an XBOX One S, “Anyway, I wanna start you off with something simple, like Minecraft.” 

“Mine...craft?” 

“It’s a game,” he replied. 

“Oh.” 

He gave her a controller and loaded the game in split mode so they could play on the same console. 

“Okay, so I’ve made a new world in Creative mode. The object right now is just to build stuff.” 

“I see,” she said, getting a feel for the controller, “So, in Creative mode, there are no villains or evil creatures? 

“Nope.” 

“This mode seems to have no purpose.” 

“Let me bump it to Survival mode in the settings,” Midnight said, changing the world’s properties and setting the level to Normal, “Here it is,” he loaded the world again. 

This time, there were monsters all in the world, something that Luna found interesting, even though she couldn’t easily engage in combat against the mobs. 

“Ugh!” she said after dying for the umpteenth time, “I could emerge victorious against these Endermen and Creepers if I were actually in combat against them!” 

“But you are.” 

“No, I’m controlling a character in game who is battling for me.” 

“That’s as close as yous can get to actual hand-to-hand combat,” he said as she set her controller down and stood up, “What are you doing?” 

“I am going ingame to battle. You can stay here, or come with me.” 

“You’re telling me how yous got here if I go with you.” 

“Okay,” she said, “I will hold true to my promise when we aren’t in battle.” 

“Sure, fine, yeah, but would ya like for me to at least load an arena first?” 

She hesitated for a moment, “Yes, that is sure to make battle more fun.” 

“A’right, then,” he said, swapping to a generic fighting arena he had downloaded a few years prior, “Ready.” 

When the world loaded, she teleported both of them into the loaded world. 

“Where are the monsters?” Luna asked before looking at what she was wearing, “What is this?” 

“Diamond armor and sword.” 

“Of course.” 

A few moments later, they were up against all of the mobs they had seen earlier. Endermen, creepers, zombies, slimes, skeletons, and a few other things. 

“Wow,” Midnight said after they were through, “You. Kick. Ass.” 

“I believe we had an agreement,” Luna said as she began to fly to a seat, take off her armor, and sit down. 

Midnight followed, but not before getting both swords and carrying them. 

“You forgot this,” Midnight said, handing hers back and taking his armor off as well. 

“Thanks,” she said, setting it to the side, “Now, we have an explanation.” 

“If you still want to tell me. Otherwise, I’m fine.” 

“No, it would be wrong for me to bring you here under false pretenses.” 

“Go ahead, then.” 

“Well, my sister Celestia and myself were battling King Sombra. He used a form of dark magic on both me and my sister, hoping for an easy victory. His magic embodies the element of fear. I’m not entirely sure what Celestia saw, but his attempt at making me overthrow Celestia and allow him to ascend to be my equal gave birth to Nightmare Moon. From that winter to the following summer, I turned into Nightmare Moon many times, each being stronger than the last, until a few nights ago, my sister banished Nightmare Moon with the elements. They seemed to have pushed us farther than the moon, sending me to your world instead. Our guess for our body’s current form is my Alicorn magic, but we didn’t-” she saw that Midnight had pulled her into an embrace and began to cry. 

“It’s okay, Princess. It’s not your fault. It was dat magic. Everything’s gonna be okay.” 

“It was my intent to kill her.” 

“It was the magic taking over.” 

“We were just so jealous.” 

“I’m sure Princess Celestia’s forgiven yous.” 

“Please don’t send me away.” 

“I won’t,” he said, patting her back as she continued to cry, “Just let it all out.”
> It Wasn't Your Fault, Luna. Also, don't expect a Schrodenger's Cat reference- oh wait...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After regaining her composition enough, she sent them back to the couch and started sobbing again.

"It wasn't your fault, Luna," Midnight said, "You were just in a bad place."

"It was my intent to kill her!"

"Everything's gonna be fine, Luna."

"No it isn't! I don't deserve your gratitude."

"So what? Dis isn't about your past, dis is about making sure you're safe and okay."

"This is indeed about what I have tried and done," she said as he pulled her into another hug, "You're just saying that because you love me."

Midnight blushed, thankful that nobody else heard that.

"How did you know?"

"I went into your dream last night. You dreamt we were on a date."

"Okay, but dis is about making sure you're okay, not my love life."

"I don't want to make you angry."

"You won't. Now, if you want dat dream to come true, we could go back out later."

"I... That seems to be okay. I'm sorry. You shouldn't see me like this."

"It's perfectly fine."

"We were jealous that out night went unappreciated."

"Dey appreciate it, just not in da same way dat they appreciate da day. Dey like it because it makes it easier for dem to sleep. It even brings ponies and people together."

"So..."

"You were just expecting da wrong thing is all. Da shadow magic only made it worse. If anything, dis mess is all of King Sombra's fault."

"We... never have been with anypony before, if you're still interested."

"I'm willing to try if you feel up to going out. If you don't, den don't worry. I won't force yas into anything."

"Thank you."

"I suppose we could try getting lunch together."

"Dere's da badass fighter and night goddess that I know and love. Now, you go and get cleaned up."

Luna nodded and went to the bathroom and began washing her face off, then Midnight's phone began ringing again.

"Who now?" he said as he checked it, "Oh, Grandmama."

"Hey!" he answered.

"Seth, you're coming this week for Memorial Day, right?"

"Of course, I am! Why wouldn't I?"

"I was just checking to make sure. Grandeddy's got a new laptop and he said you could have his old computer if you wanted it."

"Did he get his files off of it?"

"Your Uncle Scott came down last night. He'll be here for two weeks, and- hold on... Scott? Is George's stuff off of his old computer?... Seth was asking!... Okay!"

"So?"

"Yeah, he said it's emptied out."

"What kind is it?"

"I think he said it's a Dell?"

"Okay. Good thing for me because mine's ancient. Anyway, when do you want me to leave?"

"Can you be here by Sunday?"

"Sure."

"I guess we'll see you then."

"Ahright, you too," Midnight said, ending the call.

"Luna, we're going south tomorrow!"

"But you said-" she replied, running to the living room.

"I know what I said, but it's to visit my grandmother."

"I'm sure she must be as forgiving as you."

"All things considered, yeah. Anyway, now that you're feeling better, wanna go do something?"

"I suppose it would be fun."

"Den let's get ya some tech!" Midnight said, getting his keys and heading to the door, Luna following.

This time, they went to a different part of the city.

"So, about everything..."

"Don't worry. I'll get you set up with da best tech. Moto z3 and a Lenovo YogaBook. Driving, dough, I have a cousin dat can teach yous better dan I can. I think you'll like him."

When he was parked in a garage and they were back out on the streets, Luna had a few questions.

"So, will the weather be different there compared to here?"

"It will be a lot warmer."

"And the trip, how long do you expect to be on the road?"

"Anywhere between twelve and sixteen hours."

"How will we be accepted?"

"By da decent half of my family, probably just fine. Everyone else, probably with holy water, which may hurt."

"I see. And, given that we do pursue a relationship with each other?"

"Again, a complete mixed bag."

"How would they react, knowing I'm an alicorn and you're now a vampire?"

"Dey will be shocked, but I can cover up being a vampire. I leave my cosplay crap on while I'm down dere anyways. Besides, I have a cousin, Catherine, she just loves MLP, so yous would only have to worry about her being clingy."

"What do you mean?"

"I... well, you'll see."

"I do suppose some questions are best left unanswered."

"It's not dat kind of thing. It's moreso along da lines of 'I don't know how to explain it'."

"I understand, though I should probably get a few dresses that aren't cosplay outfits."

"Don't worry. We're close enough to a place dat I'm sure has exactly what you're looking for."

"What time will we leave tomorrow?"

"I'd like to be on da interstate by 4:30. If shit happens while we're down there, we can just leave and come back to the northeast."

"You seem to have things rather thought out."

"It's just inevitable dat I need a contingency. Da variable is when I'm gonna have to use it... which could be any time."

"You seem to have done this before."

"Yeah, sadly."

As they came to a clothing store, Luna saw a number of outfits she enjoyed at first sight, along with a few dresses similar to hers, the differences being their shades and lack of any lunar references.

The next question, though, threw him off.

"What will you do for blood?"

"Luna," he said, locking up in the street, "Dere's a game called Nerve, and you will have to lose."
> Let's Get You Clothes, Lunch, and Tech.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the clothing store, Luna was enamored by the selection and choices that she had to choose from, but she was still worried about Midnight and his disturbingly-named game.

"Tell me, does midnight blue compliment my fur?"

Midnight looked at the variations of the same dress she chose.

"I don't know. Hold it up to yous."

She held it up to her body, but still couldn't come to her own decision.

"What do you think?"

"I think..." he said, trying to word his thoughts the right way, "I think it just looks good. I'm not one to come to for fashion advice, though, but you look nice wit it in my opinion."

She had four dresses chosen from the store, ranging from indigo with a cerulean neck to vivid indigo with a violet neck.

"I believe this completes my selection. I noticed, by the way, that you didn't get any clothes. Are you not supposed to?"

I just didn't want any more than I ahready have."

"Well then, with that being said, is there anything else that we need to do?"

"Well, we need da get you some tech, trust me, you'll need it around some of dem in da south."

"Okay," she replied as he paid for the clothes.

When they were almost to Midnight's 944, Luna finally came out and asked, "What is this game you call 'Nerve'?"

"Yous take a knife and stab between ya fingers. If you hit one, den you lose. Dependin' on ya knife and how hard ya stab, you'll also bleed."

"Oh," she said, coming to the realization that she would have to have an accident when he needed blood, "Oh, that. Why can't you just bite me like earlier? Would that not be more sanitary and pose less risks than a blade?"

"While yeah, it would also scare and piss 'em off, thinkin' dat I'm a bloodthirsty cannibal. Dis way," he opened the car and put her clothes in the back seat, "Dis way, especially since dey've seen me suck on a cut before, it won't look as bad," they turned to get back on the street, "Though dere's still gonna be questions raised. 

And before yous ask, yes, sucking on a cut can make it stop bleeding if it's not too bad."

"I see. And pray tell, where did you learn this again?"

"From a movie."

"Do movies always contain such information?"

"No, but sometimes you can learn some neat tricks from 'em."

"I see."

A few minutes later, they passed a Chinese Buffet, a scent that enamored Luna and reminded Midnight that it was time to eat.

"Would ya like to eat here for lunch?"

"The exotic smell is food?"

"Yeah."

"I believe it would be nice to try a variety of experiences while I'm in your world," Luna said, going to the door.

"Let me," Midnight said, opening it for her.

"Is it common courtesy here for couples to do medial tasks for each other?"

"Just for da guy to do for da girl."

"Oh, I see. Though I still find the extra attention unnecessary, as I am not a princess in your land."

"Well, good luck stopping me."

"We shall see," she replied, holding a hand to her mouth as she chuckled.

A minute after they sat down, their waitress came and took their drink orders.

Midnight motioned for Luna to go first.

"Dr Pepper," she said.

The waitress looked to Midnight.

"Dr Pepper, too."

"Okay," she said, placing two sets of cutlery on the table.

"What do we need to do now?"

"Well, we go and serve ourselves."

"I take it that I should go and make my own choices?"

"Dat's how it works."

They both went and fixed their plates, coming back and digging in.

"What is this?" Luna said as she bit into a piece of something.

"Chicken."

"Why... does it taste so good, then? As a pony, such things have a repulsive taste in a literal sense."

"Well, my guess is dat it's because you're part human.

"So long as I don't develop a fixation for meats if I ever return to being a pony."

"Don't lose hope, Luna."

The duo enjoyed their meal with Midnight paying for it, seeing as Luna didn't have any money, then the two went to Pine64 to get her everything she'd need to get connected to the digital world.

"Luna," Midnight said as they went into the store, "Prepare to be mindblown."

At first, she seemed unimpressed by the electronics, but that changed when a Pine Expert came over to them.

"Can I help you?" he said.

"I'd like to get a few things for my girlfriend," Luna blushed, "And probably upgrade my own tech, too."

"Okay," he said, "I'll let you two look around for a bit, then come back to you."

"Why does he assist people in such a matter? Is it not a simple choice?"

"Well, considering dat dere are so many different combinations, dey don't show them all on da floor, only da base-spec ones, most people won't know da difference between v7 and v8 processors, or DDR2, 3, and 4, or SSD and Flash."

"...I see your point."

"Now, to make everything easier, I'm gonna get you everything all specked out. Now, which screen do you want? 12-inch at 800p or 14-inch at 900p?"

"What's the difference?"

"One's bigger."

"Ah. Now, how do we acquire one of these?"

"Well, you take a slip of paper and fill it out according to da ones behind the plastic barrier."

"May I look on?"

"Sure."

PINEBOOK
Screen: 12-inch
Processor: 1.4 X 8
Memory: 16 GiB DDR4
Storage: 1 TiB
OS: Arch Linux
Desktop: MATE

"This only appears to cover the laptop computer."

"Well, dere are different sections for da different devices."

"I see," she said as they made their way to the phones.

"Now, dere are, again, two sizes. Five-inch and 5.5-inch. I'll let you decide," he said, getting a slip of paper for the phone.

"The larger seems as if it would be easier to use."

"Ahright."

PINEPHONE
Size: 5.5-inch
Model: Ultimate
Plan: Prepaid Unlimited

"And now we have the selection for the phone?"

"Yeah."

"You said you needed new technology too, right?"

"Yeah," he replied, going to a table with what were seemingly just screens, rather than computers, "I think I want a Pinedesk. I don't really have space for three computer towers."

"What advantage do these have?"

"Well, da desk variant has all of da components housed wit da screen, similar to da laptops, whereas da box variant has da components in a separate box. Da tradeoff, something dat doesn't really affect me, is dat I can't use whatever screen I have laying around at my house."

"And the procedure is the same?"

"Pretty much."

PINEDESK
Screen: 17-inch 900p
Processor: 1.4 X 8
Memory: 16 GiB DDR4
Storage: 1 TiB
OS: Will transfer
Desktop: Will transfer

After he tore off the slip, they went to the counter where the Expert set everything up.

"$435.67," the guy said after configuring and boxing the devices.

Midnight paid with a card, something that Luna knew she would have to question later. For now, they just had to worry about getting the stuff back to his apartment and Midnight teaching Luna how to play Nerve.
> Luna? You okay? Oh, wow. I didn't know you felt that way about me. Also, you know your way around a guy, don't you? This... will be steamy...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After they made it back to the car and loaded everything, Luna began staring intently at Midnight.

At first, he didn’t think anything of it, considering that she might be afraid, which her faster heart rate screamed out, but he noticed she wasn’t shaking or scared.

“You okay?” Midnight asked her, receiving only a nod in response as she kept her glare locked on him.

What in hell could she be thinking? he thought to himself as her breathing sped up, Should I say something?

“Did I do something?” he said, pulling onto the streets.

“It’s something you didn’t do.”

Midnight was worried.

“So, Luna,” he said, “Anything I can do for you?”

She felt… different… to say the least.

Never had she been able to pursue a romantic relationship before, but now, all she could think about was being with the vampire in the seat next to hers.

Sure, he wasn’t anything to write home about, but there was something about him that she really, really like. Her body just knew it.

“Luna, answer me,” Midnight said as Luna began sweating, “Are you okay?”

She replied by inhaling and exhailing sharply, followed by her biting her lip, “No.”

“Do you need something?”

“When we get back...”

He noticed a musky odor filling the car, “Luna, are you…?”

“I don’t know,” she said, biting her lip again.

Her legs were shaking, as if she were holding something in.

As the smell grew stronger and her heart rate increased, Midnight knew exactly what was going on.

She had the hots for him.

“Do you love me?” he quickly said, speeding somewhat.

“...mhm...”

“Well...”

“Hurry back.”

Midnight drove like hell back to his apartment, then parked close to the door. 

“Can you get out?”

“I’m… gonna need help.”

He went over to her and tried to help her up, but her knees buckled almost immediately and she fell down.

"Jesus!" Midnight said, picking her up in his arms, bridal-style, "Do you- on second thought, no. I'm carrying you, and dat's final."

When he picked her up, he felt a warm liquid slowly making its way down his arm as he made it to the rotary door.

"Luna," he said as a car door closed and her horn was briefly encompassed in a blue glow, "Are you..."

"I have been holding these feelings in for millennia," she said, pulling him down and kissing him as she started releasing more nectar.

"Not here," he whispered slyly in her ear before running his tongue around it.

It took a few minutes, but he made it into the lobby with her, both of them smelling of the early stages of sex.

"This feels amazing," Luna said, dribbling in his arms.

"Come on, Lulu. Hold it in," he teased, "Yous know you can."

"Not if you keep playing down there."

The whole way to his apartment, Luna kept dripping and squirting a trail of her mare cum in the hallways.

"We're here," he said, Luna now moments away from having a strong orgasm as Midnight opened the door.

"D... do..." she tried to say, but her words were quickly overtaken with her panting as she felt pressure building.

When Midnight closed the door, she went down on him and let the floodgates loose.

"God, ya so amazing!" Midnight said, rubbing between her wings.

She wanted to say something, but instead she just forced Midnight into a kiss, accidentally getting her tongue bitten by the vampire instead.

"Ow!"

"Sorry."

"If you wanted me to shove my neck in your mouth..." she said slyly.

"You're da princess here," Midnight said, stroking her soft mane as she forced her neck in his mouth.

"I want you inside of me," she said as he bit down and began sucking, eliciting a long and pleasure-filled moan from her.

"Dere," he said, licking the wound and sticking his tongue in her pussy.

"P... pl... please!" she laughed, "I- it's too much!"

"Ahright," he said, "Have ya ever ridden?"

"Show me," she said, stripping.

"Oh, you wanna go all the way, huh?" Midnight said, following suit.

After holding her on his back, making sure to keep teasing a few of her sweet spots, he started going crazy as her face began to turn bright cherry from the pleasure.

After a minute, though, she felt between his legs

I NEED that! she thought as she flipped him over.

"I've teased you for that long?" Midnight said, glowing as red as the lunar princess herself.

"I NEED this!" she said somewhat madly as she forced herself on him.

"If I knew ya felt like this," Midnight said between moans, "I woulda asked ya sooner."

"I'm always ready."

"Den I won't disappoint."

"Good," she said as they kept going.

It wasn't until several hours later that the festivities came to a close.

Midnight thought that he was taking advantage of the poor mare and Luna was just flat out tired.

"You... don't feel like I'm just using you as a toy, do you?" Midnight asked.

"No," she replied, "I'm not pushing you too hard, correct?"

"Vampires have endless amounts of strength and energy."

"I was unaware that we could do this for several hours."

"Luna, I want to ask you a question."

"Yes."

"Do you think I care for you?"

"Yes."

"Do you think dat I'm going to throw ya out?"

"No."

"Do you still think dis is about da past?"

"It isn't. That was then, and this is now."

"I'm proud of yous."

"Thanks," she said with a smile, "Now, should we clean up?"

"Yeah, probably."

Midnight and Luna went and had a nice, hot shower together, immediately deciding to sleep together that night.

The huge mess could wait for later.
> We just had sex. Now what? Oh... right. That. Also, be careful online.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting dressed and going back into the main room, it was obvious that their ahem... festivities... needed to be cleaned up, as the whole place was a mess and would surely become impossible to clean after setting for a week.

They also needed to get their tech.

"I am not looking forward to cleaning all of dis," Midnight said.

"I'll take care of that," she said as the huge mess from their sex drive went from all over the room into a milky white ball, encompassed by her aura, "Open the window."

Midnight did as she said, then she threw the ball of love-juice out the window and onto the street.

"Or we just do dat."

"We do have other things to do."

"I'll get da shit outta da car and-"

"I'm coming, too."

As Midnight and Luna went and took their tech and her clothes back into the apartment, both knew that, in the back of their heads, Midnight would have to teach Luna to stab her hand with a knife.

The fact that there was a puddle of smelly crust forming just outside the front door of the complex didn't really help matters either.

Going back in and putting the stuff down, Midnight eyed the knives on the countertop and began contemplating.

Should I lie and say I'm sick? No, they're not dumb. Leave LU here? No! No abandoning! Oh, fuck. What can I do?

Finally accepting defeat, he reluctantly began.

"Luna," he said, getting a knife and going to the couch with her and a notebook, abused and battered from months of torture from various knives, "It goes like dis," he put his hand down, fingers apart, and began stabbing.

Oh, I have all my fingers
Da knife goes CHOP CHOP CHOP!
If I miss da spaces in between, my fingers will come off
And if I hit my fingers, da blood will soon come out,
But all da same I play dis game 'cause dat's what it's all about!
Oh CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP, I'm picking up da speed,
And if I hit my fingers, den my hand will start to bleed!

He had played a perfect round.

"Dat's how it's supposed to be done. Yous need to stab a finger accidentally at some point."

He gave her the knife.

"Show me, and try to mess up."

He hoped she would and wouldn't at the same time.

On the yes side, it would keep him sustained via the accidents. On the no side, he genuinely cared for her.

"Alright," she said, violently stabbing between her fingers, perfectly until she decided to put the knife down.

Midnight's mouth hung open in disbelief.

"H- how...?"

"My coordination may pose issues," she said, worried.

"Okay, two things. One, coordinate on your hand, preferably a finger. Two, DON'T STAB LIKE YOU'RE INSANE!!! I just need a small cut, NOT A REASON TO GO TO DA DAMN HOSPITAL!!!"

"Right," she said, playing a perfect round like Midnight had showed, "Better?" she asked, hopeful.

"At least... At least I won't need a new pair of pants. Focus on stabbing a finger. Not bad, just enough to cut yourself."

"Alright," she said, stabbing herself four hits in and opening a decent-sized cut that bled almost instantly, causing them to both wince, "Was that correct?"

"Perfect," he said, taking her finger and sucking on it, licking it closed a few seconds later, "Just like dat."

"I thought it would be worse."

"Nope. Dough I still wish yous hadn't turned me into a vampire, even though it's pretty cool."

"I'm sorry. I can fix it if you-"

"No, it's... actually pretty cool. I have to drink blood, but still, I like it."

"I'm confused."

"I can do so much more now dan before."

"You said you have to drink blood."

"It's still amazing," Midnight pulled her into an embrace, "Thank you, Luna."

"Y- you're welcome," she said, returning his embrace, "You'll still show me everything in your world, right?"

"Everything dat I can."

"Are you sure?"

"I swear on my grave."

"Thank you."

"Now, wanna take a look at your laptop?"

"Sure."

"Alright!" he said, turning her around, "Let's do da unboxing!"

Unboxing the computer, he saw that it was the Pro model, immediately noticeable because of the magnesium alloy body. It was still twelve inches, though.

"We ordered a white one, did we not?"

"Da guy knows dat I always need da metal-bodied models."

He plugged up the computer and started it up, but after the Pine logo, came one of the MANY banes of his existance.

"AUGH!"

"What?" Luna said, concerned, "Is something the matter?"

"Dat dude KNOWS Arch Linux is founded on da KISS principal!"

"Kiss?"

"KISS. Keep it simple, stupid."

"Excuse me?" Luna said, thinking he was insulting her.

"No. It literally means 'Keep it simple, stupid'," he said, loading up the Wikipedia article for Arch Linux on his phone and showing her, "See? Keep it simple stupid. Not make a person who gets a laptop wit it preloaded sit down and do everything at a fucking terminal."

"Is that a problem?"

"Depends," he said, restarting the laptop, "If it comes to a setup screen, I won't have to type a command. If it doesn't, den I will. If dat doesn't work, well I could build one of dese in my sleep."

The laptop rebooted and went through a regular setup process, asking to set up a user profile and connect to the WiFi.

"That was simple," Luna said.

"Yeah. Just make a username and password, den have it connect to my wireless internet. I have 80 Mbps, so don't worry about it being slow. Anyway, you wanna play around with it or let me show you?"

"You mentioned earlier that you have your own things to set up. But, one thing I am wondering."

"Yes?"

"What is Firefox?"

"Firefox is da Arch Linux of web browsers. It's da best in existence."

"I guess I shall begin here," she said as Midnight went to set up his new computer.

"Okay," he replied, "If ya need me, I'll be in here, dealing with da hell that is better known as Nvidia Tegra."

"Thank you," she said, getting a feel for the trackpad.

In his bedroom, Midnight had already connected a data transfer cable between his 2010-era Pinebox and the brand-new computer with its keyboard and mouse already connected.

"Okay, den. Blank drive should put the new PC in slave drive mode, and just run Pine Clone from da old one to da new one and play da waiting game."

As the old one took its precious time, Luna came into Midnight's bedroom with her laptop.

"Midnight, can you tell me what this is?"

"Lemmie see wha-" he said, stopping when he saw what was on her computer.

"Is it bad?"

It was a sex video on Pornhub.

"Luna, dat's porn," he said, as if trying to clarify something.

"Should I get rid of it?"

"Yeah. Porn is basically da same as you dreaming about coming here and doing all of dis stuff. Da sex we had earlier is equal to actually coming here and enjoying yourself. Why would you want the former?"

"How do I get out of it?"

"Bring it here," Midnight said as Luna navigated around the boxes and cables, "See da little shapes in the top-right of da window? The X closes it."

"Oh," she said as he closed the window and opened a new Firefox session for her.

"Now, go put it back to charge, okay?"

"Okay," she replied, leaving the room as Midnight began cloning everything to his new computer.

"Goodbye N-shit-ia, hello Rockwell," he said, getting everything ready to put into storage.
> Goin' on down to South Park, gonna have myself a time!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few more hours had passed, Midnight's stuff had been moved to his new computer and his old one ready to go into storage, though it hadn't gone entirely without Luna and Midnight having fun.

"My old computer was the shitmobile of the tech world," Midnight said, pushing a box of old computer stuff to the side of his desk, "I'll get that down later."

Walking out of his bedroom, he saw Luna glaring and screaming at the TV, now holding a PlayStation controller and several discs everywhere.



"You degenerative blue creature!! You are to jump when I command you to do so!! You will NOT go into the toxins!! AM I CLEAR!?!?!?"

"Uh, Luna?" Midnight said, looking between her and the TV, "Why are you raging?"

"We are only expressing our frustration with this creature," Luna said, annoyed and irritated, "It's- we just- I mean-"

"It's okay. Sonic is hard to get used to. i still can't get far in it. Sonic 2 is a little easier to play in my opinion."

"I also tried some other discs, if that is their name, and they simply played sound."

"Those are music and games."

"Well, I also found this one called South Park," she said, holding a DVD collection case that was titled «South Park: The Complete First Season».

He looked at the things in the room that were being used, began cleaning the discs, and brought over snacks, "Save your place, we're watching South Park."

"Okay," she said, doing as she was told and switching discs.

Soon, they were watching the first episode.

Goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind.
Ample parking day or night, people spouting «HOWDY NEIGHBOR»!
Headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind.
I like girls with big fat titties, I like girls with clean shaved pussies!
So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine.

As if Luna heard Kenny's line clearly, she looked down at herself, blushed and put her face in her hands.

"It's okay," Midnight said, hugging her, "He dies in every episode."

Luna shot a glare.

"It's okay, just look how they do it."

She looked back at the screen as Kenny was explaining what a dildo was.

"What's a dildo?" Stan said to Kyle.
"I don't know," Kyle responded before turning to Cartman, "And I'll bet Cartman doesn't know, either!"
"I know what it means!" Cartman defended.
"Well, what?"
"I'm not telling you!"
"What's a dildo, Kenny?" Stan asked, turning to his poorer friend.
"It's a giant stick that goes inside the mom's vagina," Kenny replied, muffled by his hoodie.

"Does Kenny always talk like that?"

"Honestly, I think he's the only character in the third and fourth grade in the show to have ever had sex," Midnight grinned, "I mean, he knows more about it than some adults on the show, not to mention actually done it more than some."

"Oh... well, I saw that some of the stuff mostly makes fun of other stuff... the shows on your DVDs."

"South Park takes it to an extreme. There was a joke on the internet about your sister being Molestia, a mix of 'Molest' and 'Celestia', and in one episode, Kenny ushered in a trilogy of South Park making fun of My Little Pony."

She put a hand to her face, "Why does that kid have to be so fascinated with sex?"

"I don't know."

Around the end of the season, they both fell asleep, so Luna went back into Midnight's dream again.

"South Park?" she read, feeling somewhat cold in the Colorado mountain town, "Where's Midnight in this?"

Eventually running into the walking Sexipedia himself, she decided to take her chances with Kenny McCormick.

"Woo-hoo!" he said enthusiastically, throwing his arms up, "I had sex with your sister, and her titties were my dream! Honestly, I think I wasn't the first person to ever pound the fuck outta her, but she grabbed my cock like shit! Her milk tasted like honey and cum, and felt so amazing in my mouth that I-"

"PLEASE!!!" Luna said, stunned by what this kid was saying, "I don't need to know about her relations with anyone."

"Oh. Could I fuck you?"

"No, I'm already in a relationship."

"Aw."

"Well, I'm looking for someone about my height, black-and-blue hair, fangs, wings, blue glasses, red eyes."

"Oh. He's on Mala Vista Drive. Four streets over."

"Thank you."

"Kenny!" a woman with a thick southern accent called as Luna heard someone running to them, "Kenny, what've I told you 'bout havin' sex w'th hook'rs!"

"But I wasn't."

"Kenny," the woman spoke, "Yer dad 'n I jus' want ya ta stay a kid fer jus' a little longer."

"Madam," Luna spoke to the redhead, "I can assure you that we were not going to engage in sexual relations, and that I was only asking to get to Mala Vista Drive."

"Okay, then. I think Kenny was goin' ta play with h's little friends."

"Thank you, Mrs-"

"Carol McCormick."

"Thank you, Mrs Carol McCormick."

With that, her and Kenny began walking to where he had seen Midnight.

"So," Luna said, "I take it your name is Kenny?"

"Uh-huh."

"I assume you already know my name."

"Yeah! You're Celestia's sister, Luna! I thought you'd have bigger titties like your sister. What about your pussy?"

"I'd rather not talk about that. What are your interests?"

"I like writing haikus."

"May I read one?"

"Sure," he said, giving her a slip of paper.

When you rub your dick
You might find a discharge that
Winds up on the floor

"Interesting," Luna said, her blue face turning cherry.

"So, do you like Chinese food?"

"I have a fondness of it, yes."

"Then there's this place called City Wok."

"What time is it?"

"Lunchtime."

"He's probably in there," Luna said as the duo began to walk to City Wok.

Inside City Wok, Midnight was thumbing through his phone, picking out bugs in the code and writing them down in a notebook.

"When you party getting here, Midnight?" Tuong Lu Kim, the owner, said from the counter, his thick accent making the vampire laugh a little

"It shouldn't be too much longer," Midnight said, texting Luna.

Luna, I'm at a Chinese restaurant. Wanna grab lunch?

A few minutes later, Luna and Kenny walked in.

"Shitty Wok, take your order, pwease?"

"Hey, Luna!" Midnight said, looking up.

"Oh, Midnight," Luna said, walking over to him, "There's something I want to ask you about."

Kenny looked at the duo with hope and excitement in his eyes that he'd be able to fuck the lunar princess.

"Um, Midnight?" Luna said quietly.

"Yes?"

"Kenny, I believe he wants to have sex with me."

"Dude, Luna, the kid is poor as shit. He doesn't have the same things to look forward to as us. Besides, what else do you expect from a kid who writes poems about masturbation?"

"I suppose you're right," she said before turning to Kenny, "Would you like to have lunch with us?"

"Whoo-Hoo!!!" he said, more enthusiastic than ever.

"And, after I put some thought into it, yes you may."

"Oh my fucking God, I get to pound the shit out of Luna!"

"Let him have his moment. Besides, we were kids too at one point," the vampire said.

"I suppose you're right."