A Very Awkward Talk
Hey there, Eric "Buggie" Reed here.
Earlier, in Twilight Sparkle's castle, I was trying to decide on what to do today. I was sitting on a red couch in the library, I just got done reading a book Twilight suggested to check out, which I set on a wooden table in front of me. Maybe Rainbow Dash would want to do something, since she didn't have Wonderbolt practices today.
But suddenly, it felt like I should get out of the library, fast. But I couldn't figure out where that feeling came from.
Before I could act on that, Twilight came through the doors of the library. She walked to the couch I was on, sat down beside me and turned her face down to look at my face. We're about the same height when standing, but because of the difference in how ponies sit on couches or chairs compared to humans, my head come to about the mid-part of Twilight's chest.
"Hey, Twi. Is something wrong?"
"I was thinking. You have been in Equestria for a while now, right?"
"Yep, and you and Starlight became my Equestrian big sisters. But what's going on?"
"I just thought we should have a talk that I should have had with you sooner."
"Okay. What's up?"
"Ever since you got to Equestria, have you felt any weird feelings?"
"Weird feelings? No, I don't think so."
"You sure? I know how you sometimes keep things in."
I lifted my head and eyes up, thought about it, then answered, "Well...it used to feel weird being the only human in Equestria. Especially when the magic from the 'Nightmare Prevention Spell' shrunk me, till you and Starlight fixed it so I'm as tall as you."
"No, I mean, have you been feeling anything you're not used to?"
"Nope."
"Have your body done anything odd? Like did anything get bigger without warning for a while?"
"Nope, nothing like that has happened."
"Oh, I see. I guess it hasn't happened yet. I'm glad I finally thought to talk to you about it."
"Huh? What are you going on about? I haven't 'been through' what, Twi?"
"Well, you see, Buggie, there might be times that your body will act in ways it never has before, but don't be nervous if it does."
That really puzzled me, and I scratched my head. "What?"
"And you may sometimes feel...what's the word...needs, if it happens."
"Uh...needs? If you mean what I think you mean, I don't think I'm comfortable talking about it."
"Oh, is it embarrassing? But you know I'm your big sister, so you can talk to me about anything."
Okay. There's no way that Twilight Sparkle's trying to give me "The Talk", right? Right?! Because I don't know what's weirder: getting "The Talk" at eighteen years old, or getting it from a pony!
"I mean, I know I can talk to you about anything, but--"
"Then why don't you want to talk to me about this? You trust me, right?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah I trust you! I trust you with my life, Twi! But...talking about my 'needs'?"
"Well, I think I can get why you would be embarrassed to talk about it, but it's okay! Listen, it's okay if you feel that you need some things done to you that you have never gotten before. Especially when you're in your bed."
"My bed? What do you think I do in my bed? And what do you mean by 'if I need things done to me'?"
"Like I said, it's okay! And if you have problems, I'll help you with it."
Twilight moved closer to me, so she's sitting right beside me, then wrapped a wing around me. And guys, it never felt so awkward having that Alicorn's wing around me! Maybe this is why I had that feeling to get out of the library!
"Uh, Twi? What do you mean by 'you'll help me with it'?"
"I mean, I can help you with it. I'm really good at doing things like that."
"I'd rather not know stuff like...that about you, Twilight." I tried to inch away from Twilight, but she used her wing that's still around me to pull me back to her, with my head now against her chest. Not good.
"Why are you so nervous? It's not like I'll mess up if I do it to you. If we do it, I'll be gentle."
My eyes got big, and I barely got out, "It...it's not like I...I think that you'd mess up. It's just..."
"Would you feel better if Starlight did it to you? Or if we both do it to you together?"
My eyes got even bigger at what I just heard, and my mouth dropped! "What? NO! Starie's like my big sister too, remember? And it would feel even weirder if both of you do it to me!"
You know, at this point, getting "The Talk" from Twilight didn't sound so bad. What she's saying here is even more uncomfortable! Somepony make her stop!
"Really? I thought you would feel safer if both of us did it to you, since we are better when we do it together."
"Okay, have you been drinking a lot of cider today?"
"No, I haven't had any cider, if you're worried if that could make me do something wrong. But I guess you can't help feeling nervous. So how about if we try it right now and I'll give you something light with my magic, to help ease your nerves?"
I almost jumped off that couch, but the surprising strength Twilight has in her wings, and she still had one around me, kept me in place. "WHAT?! Are you crazy, Twilight?!"
"Don't worry, I've done these things before, and you'll barely feel it!"
"Wait, you have done this before?"
"Sure, but I don't do it as much now. Especially since I've tried to get Starlight to do it less, since she had a problem relying on it too much. But I still do, and if you don't want it to be light, I can cast a spell with a stronger effect so it'll last longer. I promise I won't mess up!"
"No, I don't want something stronger! And Starie used to rely on this too much?!"
WOW! Okay, I was well aware that Starlight Glimmer had serious issues in the past, but she had these kinds of issues too?! And is this the real reason those ponies in her old village were always grinning, back when Starlight still ruled that village with an iron hoof...?!
"What's wrong, Buggie? Why don't you want me to try it to you?"
"Because you're like my sister, Twilight! It'll be way too weird if you do it to me!"
And in case you forgot, I'm a human, and she's a pony!
For reasons I did not get, instead of Twilight getting the point, she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly to the side. "I don't understand. Why is it so weird for me to do it to you?"
"Y-you don't understand? I...I mean, it's you and me!"
"I still don't get why you're so nervous, but I have an idea."
"Okay...?"
"How about you watch me do it to Spike once, and when he's okay, you'll feel more comfortable having me do it to you?"
"NO!! I don't want to watch you do it to Spike! And he would let you do it to him?!"
"Yeah. I've asked him to do things like this a lot when I was still practicing to get better."
"Seriously? You asked Spike to let you do these kinds of things to him, Twilight? For how long?!"
"Well, he wasn't exactly thrilled to let me do it, but he did, and it was before I came to Ponyville."
"But...you said he was a baby Dragon back then...and you still asked him?!"
"Well, yeah, but I never tried anything that could hurt him."
My eyes twitched badly, and I heard enough. I threw Twilight's wing off me with an arm, stood off the couch and turned away from her. "I'm out of here, Twilight Sparkle. I'm going to my room. And don't you try to follow me!"
"Wait, why are you so mad? What did I say wrong?!"
I stopped listening, and I stomped away faster and faster! I got some...things to think about.
When I got to the doors of the library, Starlight came in through them.
"Hi, Buggie!" Seeing the...mood I was in, Starlight frowned and asked, "Is something wrong?"
"Oh, yes, yes it is. And don't you try to talk to me about my 'needs' either. I don't want that kind of help from you, Starlight Glimmer!"
"Huh? 'Needs'? Why are you mad at me? What did I do?!"
I didn't say anything else, I just ran to my room!
After the human Eric Reed stormed to his room, Starlight Glimmer was left stunned and puzzled by what he said. She walked farther into the library, towards Twilight, hoping for answers on why Eric lashed out at her.
"Okay...Twilight? What was that about? I didn't do anything...did I?"
"No, you didn't do anything, Starlight, and I don't know what Eric's problem is!"
"Then what happened? Is he in a bad mood or something?"
"Maybe. I was trying to tell him that the magic from the Nightmare Prevention Spell could have some effects on his body, or create some weird feelings."
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell him about that too, but what exactly did you ask him?"
"Well, I asked him if his body's done anything odd, like if a leg got bigger without warning, and that it's most likely to happen when he's still in bed."
"Okay, what else?"
"I told him to not be worried if something like that happens, and I can fix it with spells. I even offered to cast a light spell that can help prevent any changes like that from happening, but it made him get upset. I then asked if he wanted something stronger, so the effect would last longer. I even promised that I wouldn't make a mistake, but it just made him even more upset!"
Starlight placed a hoof just below her mouth and tilted her head down slightly. "That's odd. I thought he would trust you enough to cast any spell on him that won't hurt him. Did you say anything else?"
"I also asked if he'd feel better if you did it to him too, since our spells are more effective when we do them together. But that made him get more freaked-out! And when I told him how I used to practice spells to Spike, he just lost it! What did I say wrong?"
"I don't know. And he said to me that he didn't want me to talk to him about 'needs', and he didn't want 'that' kind of help from me, and...wait." Starlight's eyes grew bigger, and she pointed her hoof at Twilight.
"What's wrong? Did you figure out what's going on?"
"Twilight, when you asked him if he 'needed' anything, did you ask him like 'do you have needs?' and did you make things clear?"
"Yeah, I think I said 'needs' more or less like that, and I said the word 'it', instead of saying 'magic' or 'spells', a lot." Twilight raised her head and eyes up in thought, then returned them back down to face Starlight again. "Now that I think of it, I might have been a bit too vague when I was talking to him, so I guess I could have made things a little clearer for him. Why do you ask?"
Starlight groaned loudly and facehoofed. The sound of her hoof hitting her forehead could be heard even outside the library. "TWILIGHT!! You made our brother think you were giving him 'The Talk'!"
"What? 'The Talk'?"
"Yeah, 'The Talk'! And then he must have thought you wanted to do it with him! And then you must've talked in a way that made him think I wanted to! AND I think that he thought you did it with Spike!"
"Huh? 'Do it?' What do you mean?"
"Oh, for Celestia's sake! Twilight, do you really need me to spell it out for you? If you really need a hint, it starts with 'S'! So you get it?!"
"I don't...oh wait, I think I got--"
Twilight's eyes and mouth widened to their limits.
"You understand now?"
"Yeah! And NO! I wasn't trying to give him 'The Talk', and NO I don't want to 'do it' with him! And I DEFINITELY never 'did it' with Spike!" Twilight gave a deep gasp and facehoofed. "And if he thought I wanted to give him something to 'calm him down' because of that reason, no wonder he got so upset with me! I have to straighten this out!"
"Yeah. Go. Now! And tell him that I don't want to 'do it' with him either!"
Twilight jumped off the red couch she and Eric were on, trotted as fast as she could out of the library, through the hallways of her castle, and on the way to Eric's bedroom door.
So confused and mad about what I just heard from Twilight, I was sitting on a chair in my room, with my head up, looking up towards the ceiling.
Then I heard some hoofsteps coming to my closed bedroom door, followed by frantic knocking on it, making me lower my head, and turn it towards the door. Gee, I wonder who that could be?
"Wait, Buggie! That was a misunderstanding! I wasn't talking about that!"
Yep, it's her. I rolled my eyes, groaned, and yelled, "Go away, Twilight!"
"Come on, please, just open the door and talk to me! You got the wrong idea!"
"Well, what was the 'right idea'?!"
"I'll tell you, but you gotta let me in! But I promise I won't make you do anything that you don't want to do!"
At first, I was going to yell that I didn't want to hear it, but I thought about it and sighed. I got up from my chair, opened my door, and since Twilight was still banging pounding knocking on it with her hooves, she almost hit me when I opened it!
But Twilight caught herself in time, stopped her hoof a few inches away from my face and put it back on the floor. She gave one of her nervous grins, her face turned red, and she quietly asked, "Hi?"
That did ease the tension, I guess. Just not by much.
The only reason I didn't flinch at that pony almost flooring me by mistake, was because I was so upset! I glared at her, and said in a low tone, "Okay, Twilight. You can come in, but I'm gonna be watching your horn. So no funny stuff with your magic!"
With us in my room, Twilight explained to me what she really meant, and I facepalmed, hard. How could I had actually thought that Princess Twilight Sparkle, my big sister, would do...stuff like that?! Let alone to me?! I couldn't even look at her face, so I turned my head away and looked down.
"Oh...so that's what you were talking about," I said softly.
"Yes! And I would never ask you to do something like...that. Or force you to talk about something so personal. You believe me, right, little bro?"
I turned my face back to Twilight, lifted my face back to hers, with a frown and answered, "Yeah, I do, big sis. And I am so so sorry I thought you'd do...those kind of things. Can you forgive me?"
"I do, and it's okay, Buggie. I should have been more clear, and I'm sorry I wasn't."
"It's all right, and...oh, no!" I groaned and facepalmed even harder than before.
"What's wrong?"
"I yelled at Starie, thinking you said she did stuff like that too! Where is she, Twi? I gotta tell her I'm sorry, and hope she doesn't hate me!"
Lucky for me, Starlight picked that time to come to my open door. "I'm here, Buggie, and I forgive you too. I could never hate you, little bro."
I sighed happily hearing that. "You forgive me? Thank you, Starie! You and Twi are the best! And again I am so sorry guys!"
"I'm just glad everything's all right, and how about we put this past us?"
"Oh, I am for that, Twi!" Feeling something was missing, I turned my head back and forth. "But where's Spike? I thought he was in the castle?"
Starlight turned her head around a few times as well. "Hmm...yeah, where is he?"
Twilight's eyes got a little bigger, and asked, "Wait, I just thought about something. You don't think he overheard any of us talking earlier, then got freaked-out too, right...?"
"Uh-oh. Maybe we should look for him."
"But Twi, Starie, just in case, I think you two should stay here, and I'll look for him."