Totally Not An Office Reference
A sweltering day rested upon Ponyville, the heat adding frustration to the traveling ponies. No clouds in the sky could shield the source, or even provide the occasional gust of wind to refresh the trotting civilians. Many of them wandered into stores just to seek shade or possibly some cool air. Nopony liked this day, but it never happened on purpose. A cloud shortage paved the way for one of the hottest days on record.
But one individual was determined through this boiling-hot summer day. A politician in this small town of the highest regard.
“Good afternoon, Ponyville residents!” her voice rang in the already crowded air. “Please consider supporting my proposal for a new celebratory day in Ponyville!”
Hardly anypony heard her, and those who heard her pretended they didn’t.
Her plan was simple: A Pony Unification Day. Although several holidays have helped ease whatever tensions these citizens still had, like Hearts and Hooves day and Hearth’s Warming, none were directly focused on unification. Keeping these citizens together, especially if the time called for it. Who knows when the worst thing could happen? And what if everypony was blaming each other for it? The thought shocked her.
She had been told that this was unnecessary, but it mattered to her; asking everypony their thoughts and suggestions made her feel like she was making a difference. Anypony on my staff can pass anything, she thought, but making a true difference takes perseverance and dedication!
She brought a hoof up to wipe the sweat off her brow. Today was a tough day. Besides the already obvious temperature, there were hardly any interested in this proposal. Maybe she would have some luck having one-on-one discussions with some of them. She approached a petite-sized mare and cleared her throat.
“Pardon me, ma'am,” she asked, “I’m Mayor Mare looking for feedback on my new proposal…” Her voice trailed off as the pony had completely ignored her.
The heat finally getting to her, she let off some steam, albeit quietly.
“Rude…” she muttered under her breath. A true politician by heart, she had to watch what she said. Anything remotely controversial could get her in serious trouble, which now reminded her of that whole “Derpy” fiasco a few years back. Thank Celestia that didn’t get out of hand, she thought.
Take 2. “Excuse me, I was wondering if I could get some feedback on my new idea,” she said approaching a sand-colored earth pony.
“Umm… okay,” he replied, somewhat confused and bothered.
“I’m Mayor Mare, longtime citizen and lawmaker in this town and I’ve had this idea of a celebration of sorts, something like a national holiday where everypony from across the land can come together in peace and harmony to…”
“Wait,” he interrupted, thinking for a second and throwing a curveball to the Mayor. “Don’t we do this already?”
“Well,” she answered, “Yes and no. Yes, we do have holidays that promote these ideals, but said holidays like Hearts and Hooves Day and Hearth’s Warming have much larger overarching themes of love and togetherness, respectively.”
“Don’t forget the Summer Sun Celebration, Nightmare Night, Winter Wrap Up…”
“You’ve made your point,” Mayor Mare spoke over him to get her side back on track. “My idea promotes a new sense of togetherness and harmony for everypony, through my Pony Unification Day.”
“What about griffons?” a gravelly voice came from behind that pony. Looking over, she saw a light-blue griffon looking irked about leaving him out. “Just because we’re tougher doesn’t mean we should be excluded.”
“And changelings?” a small light-cyan quietly spoke, “I know we don’t have the best track record, but…”
“And yaks?” a loud, gruffy female yak, rang over the group. “Yaks no like to be left out, especially when friends around,” she finished, embracing them.
“Uhh, Yona,” the griffon said, attempting to wriggle his way out. “Too… tight.”
“Ooh! My turn! My turn!” a much happier, light-pink hippogriff, somewhat failing to see the point but nonetheless providing some input. “Hippogriffs don’t want to be left out,” she said, a smile encircling her face. “There’s so much left that we have to see here! Are you planning to do something bad?” she asked.
“Silver,” the changeling spoke up, “I think I understand. She’s just trying to help every creature feel welcome.”
“There you go!” Mayor Mare said, her face lighting up. “Just a thoughtful gesture is all.”
“Why limit it to ponies though?” an orange dragon spoke up from the background, prompting a collective smile from the rest, save for the Mayor, who was steadily backing away. “I mean, dragons are fine with being alone and all, but we might as well join in…” she finished, backpedaling ever so slightly.
“Aww, is Smolder feeling left out?” the griffon asked sarcastically.
“Just because we’re friends, Gallus, doesn’t mean I can’t kick your butt.”
“Lighten up, Smolder.”
“Don’t fight! Yona no like when friends fight.”
“We’re not fighting, Yona,” Gallus told her, “just joking around.”
“Are we telling jokes?” Silverstream shot up. “I know a good one! Why did the sea pony get tangled in the kelp? Because he didn’t sea it coming!”
A couple of small laughs escaped from the group, easing the tension slightly. “Not gonna lie, that was kinda funny,” Sandbar spoke. “Cheesy, but funny.”
“Yona have one! What big, strong, but flat at same time? No matter. Yak smash anyway!”
Some laughs emerged, satisfying the yak to her delight.
Ocellus looked over to her right, and to her surprise, the pony that once stood there now wasn’t anywhere.
“Hey, where’d she go?” she asked the group.
The Mayor had vanished. They all looked around, but there was no sign of her.
“She just left like that?” Silverstream asked, somewhat shocked. “Is she a ghost?”
“Silver,” Ocellus remarked, “Do I need to tell you why ghosts don’t exist again?”
“Sure!” she said. “That’s a fun story anyway. I don’t mind hearing it twice!”
The rest let out a huge sigh, as they each began walking away. “It’s not a story. It’s based upon years’ worth of science and research. The fact that any creature considers believing in something without solid proof of…”
Smolder, having been checked out by this point, chuckled. “What would I do without you all?”
“Have cute, little tea parties with other creatures?” Gallus poked.
“Can it, birdbrain.”
City hall seemed relatively quiet. Small conversations persisted alongside the walls. Nothing major was to happen today as if anything happened any day. Nevertheless, they strive to make this bureaucracy running as smoothly as possible.
If only two ponies could get along and find some common ground.
“I’m only saying your idea is foolish. Imposing stronger ordinances against a different group, like dragons and griffons, seems a bit harsh…” the blue one remarked.
“Petty crimes are rising, don’t forget, mostly due to the influx of new citizens from far-away lands that have come here to learn!” the red one snapped back.
“I haven’t forgotten that!” he spat back, “I just hadn’t considered them to be criminals is all!”
“Since the inclusion of dragons alone, damages; graffiti, structure, violence, and otherwise, are up 26%. Do I need to bring up statistics on griffon theft?”
“Sure, they might be a little rough and troubled, but if we don’t teach them firsthoof on how to behave better, then the criminals will stay criminals!”
“You just want everyone to waltz right in!”
“And you just want to kick everyone out!”
The main doors opened, revealing the tired earth pony, sweating and sullen.
“Good afternoon, Mayor,” both ponies said at the same time.
She straightened up looking sad, but not crying. “Yes, good afternoon, Left and Right Wing.”
“Something the matter, Mayor?” Left asked.
“How was the citizen consultation?” Right added.
She shook her head. “Horrible,” she said. “Only two ponies would sign my proposal, most ignored me, and to top it off,” she looked up, more peeved than usual. “I had quite a discussion with a group of them. They shot down every one of my ideas, and I couldn’t even explain my reasoning!”
“That bad?” Left tilted his head.
“Usually these citizens would behave themselves. Unless…” he paused, scratching his chin. “What did you speak to?”
Her countenance changed from frustration to slight confusion. “I’m not entirely sure. It looked like somepony from every corner of Equestria. A yak, a changeling, a dragon, a…” she began.
“That’s what I thought,” Right interrupted, as Left shot him an angry look.
“The dragon barely talked to me. They all seemed to be good friends, anyway,” she added among her description.
Left shot him a smug look. “See? Not all dragons are destructive criminals.”
“Yeah,” Right said. “One dragon…”
“I’ve had it up to here with these baseless accusations!”
“Look at the statistics. They don’t lie.”
“What about the good they do, huh? The Dragon Defense Force is the fastest growing draft in Equestria. Think of the protection.”
“As far I’m concerned, they can stay where they are…”
“NOT EVERY DRAGON WANTS TO BECOME A SOLDIER! SOME WILL COME HERE TO TRY SOMETHING ELSE!” Left shouted.
“AND WHEN THEY COME HERE, THEY DESTROY. FACTS DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS!” Right retorted.
“Yeah, but when it affects you, then you…”
“QUIET! BOTH OF YOU!” The mayor yelled back at them, suddenly forcing their attention upon the the stressed mare. "Imagine if Princess Celestia, Luna, or even Twilight Sparkle walked through that door. All of you would lose your jobs like that,” she finished, swiping her front left leg in to accentuate her point.
A harsh silence filled the room.
She continued. “I have had it with everypony arguing lately, especially from you two! Both of you are my top consultants, and if we can't have a simple conversation, we will NOT solve any problems! So for my sake and yours, refrain from arguing with each other again, or I’ll find two ponies who will get along, got it?!” stomping her hoof back down mid-sentence.
Both ponies let out a small sigh before speaking again.
“My apologies, Mayor Mare…” Right Wing softly said.
“Sorry about that, Mayor. It won’t happen again,” Left Wing acknowledged.
“Good,” she replied. “Now I need to cool off. It sure is dreadfully hot outside.” Slowly, she walked to the edge of the building, the door farthest away from the entrance. “I’ll be in my office.”
“We’ll be here if you need us,” Right consoled, as Left waved a hoof.
“Thank you, gentlecolts. Carry on with your day,” the mayor said, finally diffusing the situation.
Finally reaching her office door, she pondered, this time with no interruption, about the day so far. It couldn’t have gone any worse. Well, I suppose it could have, but this certainly wasn’t what I was expecting at all. It must have been the heat. The hottest week on record, so far. I hope Cloudsdale can get that cloud shortage taken care of. She opened the door, letting a soft breeze into the room. If only I could have handled that situation better, then I could have possibly had at least a civilized discussion with them. The griffon sure was a… was a…
She stopped, something had caught her off guard. As she took another breath, her eyes winced, and she shot back.
What is that… she thought, taking a few steps forward closer to her desk. Whatever it was slowly came into view.
She sniffed to make sure that was what it was.
Gagging instantly, she placed a hoof to her nose and mouth. Her suspicions were correct. “Sweet Celestia!” she shouted, walking back towards her door. “Who could have done this?”
Her outburst caught the ears of both Wings, to which they rushed over to assess the situation.
“Mayor Mare!” Right exclaimed. “What’s going on?”
“What happened?” Left asked.
“I think... somepony vomited on my floor!”
Both Wings shot a look of confusion and proceeded to enter her office to confirm her accusation, which they couldn’t really do as they both immediately ran out after a mere glimpse at said thing.
“I… don’t think that’s vomit…” Left Wing said, clutching his face.
“Well… then, what is it? Do you know?”
“No, mayor, but whatever it is… it smells horrible,” Right answered.
“I can’t possibly get any work done in here with that rancid stench! It smells of…” she thought for a bit but gave up after failing to find even a remotely accurate word to describe what that could possibly have stemmed from. “Oh, I can’t even think of anything! I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy!”
Left looked in, got a quick glimpse, then ducked away. “It... looked to be in a box. But I have no clue of the... contents,” gagging a couple of times mid-sentence.
Right peeked, and shot away, coughing. “It seems to have stained the carpet, so it stands to reason that it will need to be replaced." He shook his head. "I can tell that deep cleaning won’t be enough.”
“Replacement?” she shot up, looking shocked. “How long will that take?”
“I’ll make a call, and there should be some ponies here within the hour. The replacement should take the rest of the day, though.”
“The rest of… what?!” she shouted. “What will I do in the meantime? I still have much that I need to do today!”
Right shrugged, but Left came up with a plan. “Well, Mayor, we seem to have everything in order right now, and I think Right here will agree with me on this one: Why don’t you just take the day off?”
“A day off?! But I…”
“Left’s right, mayor. You’ve been working your tail off ever since reelection. Nopony has the dedication and drive that you do. You deserve at least the rest of this day to yourself.”
She slouched slightly. “I’m still not sure…”
“Right and I promise to stay cooperative, despite our different beliefs. Whatever needs to be done, I’m sure we can handle it,” Left said. “And who knows? We might figure out what happened.”
The Mayor’s mind was racing. How will this place survive without me? I’m practically a mediator for everypony here. And leaving these ponies in charge surely wouldn’t be the best of plans…
A hint of that malodorous scent came into the air, prompting everypony to duck away.
“Well, I certainly can’t work in there…” she told them.
“I’m sure we can figure something out about it, Mayor,” Right consoled.
There wasn’t much else that she could think of. Maybe a day around town would be a good idea.
She sighed. “Okay.”
Suddenly, she found a way to make progress while absent from her office. “In the meantime, I’ll see if I can round up more signatures for the…"
“No, no,” Left said. “Forget work. Do something fun. Go somewhere. A walk around town, get some food, whatever. I hear the Ponyville Spa is offering free treatments for first-time customers."
"Don’t worry about anything for today,” Right assured her. “We’ll take care of it.”
It would feel strange for her to not work on the clock, but she had no choice. She wasn’t a firm believer in days off because the hours after her work felt like they were plenty enough to recharge for the next day.
“Very well,” she faced both ponies, beginning her walk to the town hall entrance. “I’ll see both of you tomorrow.”
“Have a good day off, Mayor,” Right remarked.
She nodded to both, walking slowly to the door, still contemplating whether this was going to be a good idea. Reaching the door, she pushed it open, revealing sunlight and a temperature that was a little more bearable than that of when she walked in. Walking further towards the steps, the ponies came closer into view, still in the hustle and bustle from the traffic of stores. The door closed and she began something she’d thought never do.
Not work.