> Difference In Perspectives.
>  by ultrapoknee
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter I
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Journal entry 12. Date: March 9. Year: 2019 - on Earth, at least - I still have difficulties with the Equestrian calendar. Sadly that's only a mere drop in the ocean to the more pressing problems recent events brought upon my family. Open bigotry. Slander. Death threats, etc. The list goes on, not something one would expect from a race that preaches harmony and tolerance for all. It is easy to lump them all as misanthropes, but I cannot, in good conscience, make that claim. We've met with some outstanding individuals. I can only hope they aren't dragged into this debacle as well. Now onto my current living arrangements. I find myself in a cell - A dungeon - to be precise, outfitted with all the usual fair of smelly corridors, rodents scurrying about, and I believe at one point, as the guards dragged me down here, I saw a skeleton shackled to the wall.

Historical archives don't do the authenticity of the structure of its proper justice. Why am I here? For a crime I didn't commit. Or rather, for helping to prevent a worse crime but being accused of the said crime regardless. Mythic Entity. There is a name that inspires trust and solidarity. If one thing carries over from Earth to Equus, something is not what it appears to be. I've seen his type more often than not during many of my father's business meetings. The self-serving, arrogant, opportunistic blighter whose only aspiration is to see who they can destroy the most while making themselves look good. I've seen his type many times before. But he still managed to pull the wool over my eyes and the ponies. I suppose it doesn't matter now. I--"

 *Bang Bang Bang*

"I'm afraid that is all I have time for today. My gracious 'hosts' have come to escort me for my court proceedings. I should straighten up a bit. My suit is a mess. End of the journal entry,"









The door opens to reveal several ponies in golden Armor save for one white stallion in purple. "Don't move, monkey!" One of the guards in the back said.

Being the cheeky bastard that I am, I decided to correct him. "The term you are looking for is 'ape,' my equine compatriot. See, humans do not possess tails. We own opposable thumbs, much like our primate cousins—a distant relative. Therefore, if one were to express their xenophobic tendencies as you did, that would be the phrase you would use," Many of the ponies look at me as I have gone mad. "I mean, if you're going to be a specist, you should be a smart one,"

Of course, none of them found my remark assuming; thus, a light blue aura encased my hands. My body lurched forward as the good captain, Shining Armor, applied my cuffs. I should mention that magic has adverse side effects on human beings. Small amounts of magic are not harmful. But when it's concentrated in even the most basic spell, it leaves mana burns. The excellent captain hoisted me up by the scruff of my shirt and glared banefully into my eyes. "You should count yourself lucky ape! It's only by the grace of the royal sisters that you're even getting a trial! Personally, many ponies want to see you hang, myself included!"

I dared to smirk a little after he used the term I suggested. "That's for the court to decide. Speaking of which, I believe we are late," 

I didn't want to doddle any longer than necessary. I fear for the fate of my family. This entire mess presents a perfect opportunity for the more disgruntled citizen to deal out mob justice to any human within the vicinity. And I happen to know eight prime targets. The captain shoves me forward as we move through the castle's interior. There were a few attendants on duty. However, they all stopped to share their opinion of me. Honestly, it became apparent that they were quoting one another instead of saying anything original or intelligent. Those wanted to take their pound of flesh. They never got the chance, though. Shining Armor surprised me with his show of professionalism. He ordered the mob back to their posts as we continued. I almost garnered respect for the stallion until I remembered our last encounter. Where was 'Mr. Professional' then? But, again, I can't fault him or them for how they feel. I'd feel the same way about a person leveling the accusations I have. 

We reached a pair of golden doors as they opened. I shielded my eyes from the light until a hand pushed me inside. A courtroom full of equestrians was there to greet me. But not a single human anywhere. That was cause for concern. But I made sure not to express it as I scanned the room. On the left side were members of the community of Ponyvile. I recognized a few faces here and there as I turned to the right. I had to hold back my disgust at the presence of this world's version of nobility. The stench they exuded was palpable. From the looks of it, they were already looking down at me before I set foot in the room. In the center of the room, behind a desk, was Lyra, my co-counsel for this case. The look in her eyes told me everything; fear. To Lyra's right was the prosecutor. He was confident and self-assured of his victory. I looked past him to the booth holding the harmony-bearers and their relatives. However, harmonic was not the feeling I was getting from them. 

Rarity was giving me the same look as many of the nobles did. However, the fashionista has a justified reason for believing I am inferior to the merits of wealth and bloodline. Sweet Fluttershy shields herself in her mane. It hurt to see her shy away from me. Pinkie was a strange sight. I got so used to the mare smiling that I never imagined what it would be like if she stopped. Rainbow and Applejack both had glares that could kill. I got wind of what Rainbow did to Leopard. It was nothing I knew he couldn't handle. However, there will be a backlash. Applejack has previously forbidden her sister and her friends from interacting with us. I am sure this entire debacle has only strengthened those sentiments. The worst of all was Twilight. All I could read from her was hurt and resentment. But there was a fierce determination to see this ordeal through till the end. At least I can say she's looking better than the last time I saw her.

I didn't bother meeting the eyes of her parents. I could feel their contempt from here. Mythic Entity earned my attention more than anyone else did. The slimy bastard had to gall to place his arms over Twilight in a protective manner. I was busy mulling over the possible ramifications of striking at the worm before someone cleared their throat. My attention quickly moved to the judge's stand. There, casting judgment upon me, were the three princesses. Three of the highest nobility and royalty this land has to offer. Princess Luna sitting on the left had recently returned from her banishment. Oddly enough, her face was a mask of stoic resolve, yet she was the most neutral of the three.
Adjacent to the night, the princess was the Princess of Love. I can aptly assume that my two little sisters would adore her. She was far more inexperienced with masking her emotions. Especially considering she was quaking in barely-contained fury. Then there was Princess Celestia, the princess of the Sun and the one with the most clout. She has the best mask any being could hope to wear. It was just a stern stare - not too intense, but not soft either - just a constant look of disapproval. But it looks like I've been privy to my whole life thanks to my father. All you had to do to look past the mask was stare into their eyes. They can tell the tale of how someone is feeling. Right now, the only emotion Celestia is feeling is hatred. Hatred-- An ugly feeling indeed.

"Is the prosecution ready?" Celestia asked.

"Yes, your highness," The lawyer replied.

"And the defense?" 

Lyra flinched as everyone glared at her as well. My heart goes out to this brave mare. "Y-yes, your highness!" 

"Verily. The ponies of Equestria vs. Xavier Kingston will now commence!" Luna stated as she looked at me. "You are charged with aggravated assault and attempted murder of Mythic Entity and the sexual assault and attempted rape of Twilight Sparkle! How do you plead?" Murmurs of malcontent broke out in the peanut gallery behind me. I paid for it, no mind.

The ball was in my court now. Let it never be said that I don't love controversy. Glancing at my co-counsel, Lyra gave me a hesitant nod. I turned back to the princesses. I straightened my posture and spoke with conviction. "...N--"









[One year ago.]



"Xavier! Xavier! Look, grand mum's house is huge!!!" My little sister exclaimed. Her face was up against the glass of the limousine.

"I know, Cecelia. It is a marvel,"





I felt a tug on my arm and turned to find Cece's twin smiling at me. "Will Donnie, Leo, Julie, and Angie, be there?" She signed.

Gesturing with my hands, I replied. "I'm sure they will be, Natalya, assuming they haven't gotten lost. You know how they are with taking directions,"

The limousine comes to a stop at the front entrance as the driver exists. "May I present; Kingston manner, sir and madams," The driver said as he held the door open.

"Thank you, Walter," Cece and Nattie shot out of the vehicle and ran into the mansion. "I assume Grandmother is tending to the stable?'

"Indeed, Master Xavier. You know she dearly loves Beatrix,"

"Any word from the others?"

"Actually. Sirs Donatello and Leopard and Madam Juliet are here. Miss Angela has yet to arrive. Madam Juliet is taking stock of food. Whereas her brothers are currently unpacking the excess luggage,"

We were about to enter when we heard the motorcycle approaching. The high beams blared down the runway as they got closer to our position. I instinctively brought my guard up until the driver did something unexpected. They pulled on the gas pedal until the motorcycle balanced on the front wheel just inches from us. The bike fell back down as I sent the driver a deadpan stare. After a few seconds of silence, the cyclist removes their helmet to reveal the smug face of Angela Nyx. "S'up, pantsuits,"

"Angela-"

"Stow the formal ass licking! You, that shit irks me," Why did I let her stay here again? Her rampant guttermouth makes sailors look like choir boys.

"Thank you for coming tonight, Madam Angela. Would you like me to put away your vehicle?" Chen offers.

"Sure thing, Jeeves. Don't scratch the finish!" Why does he get a pass? Angie removes herself from her bike as Walter takes it to the garage. But before I could say anything else, Angie thought now was a good time to smoke a frag! I just stood there, glaring at her as she lit her frag. She peaks at me from the corner of her eye. "What?"

An irritated sigh escapes my lips. "No smoking on the premises!" That remark prompted Angela to blow a plume of smoke into my face, inciting a coughing fit.

"Don't be a narc! I'm not in your house yet, so I'm free to smoke now!"

"It's Grandmother's rule. She finds the smell of tobacco nauseating," A smirk worked its way to my face as I continued. "You can always go to her for any issues you may--"

"Alright, dammit!" Angie then stomps the frag out as she shoves her way past me. "I'm getting a drink!"

With a sigh, I follow her inside. "I always like the way the interior looks,"







I made my way through the halls to the mansion's south wing. I opened the door to the built-in stable. There I found Grandmother brushing the mane of her prized Palomino mare. 'She hadn't noticed me come in yet,' I thought as a slight grin grew. As I stood behind her, I silently made my way to her with my hands in a clawing position. But then, something unexpected happened. "You'll get bad luck, startling an old woman!" 

"Grandmother! H-how, did you know?"

"You can thank May for that. She does these little quirks when she smells a familiar scent. She has a tick for everyone in the house. For you, May's nostrils flare two times,"

I couldn't help but chuckle at that. "You know me so well, don't you, Beatrix?"

*Crash*

"That doesn't sound promising..."

"You better tend to those boys before they break something outside their pay grade,"

"Right, see at dinner, grandmother,"

I waved her goodbye as I made my way to the northern wing of the mansion. Upon passing the doorway, a clank echoes beneath my foot. I look down to spy on several coins scattered on the floor. "Susan B. Anthony..." It was a mint condition coin of the world-famous women suffrage movement leader back in the eighteen hundreds. Looking up, I saw Donnie and Leo staring back at me. I arched a brow while waiting for an explanation.

Leo's expression was unreadable as he pointed to his brother. "Donnie did it,"

I gaze over to him, who looks back at his brother in shock. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Bullshit! It was an accident!" Both Leo and I gave Donnie incredulous looks. "I thought moving the coins by sweeping them with my feet would be easier than some large jar. Check it!" Donnie began sweeping the coins along the ground. He looks back at us with a wide grin. "See!"

I gave Donnie my best deadpan expression. "Far be it from me to dictate how you transport your collection. Just be sure to clean this mess before Juliet comes around!" My threat had the desired effect. Donnie began sweating profusely.

"You know, I'll get these up quickly because people have different mindsets. They don't get my genius, so I got to slow it down a bit,"

"A wise decision. I'm going to the kitchen. Juliet should have dinner ready now," I had to repress my delight when I heard Donnie complaining to his brother. I always love walking into the kitchen design here. It feels like walking into a restaurant.







"Julie? Juliet Crews?"

"Ah! Oh, hey, Xavier. Dinner's almost ready,"

"I can tell. What are you making?"

"Ground beef stuffed in peppers! And for dessert, cinnamon rolls! Walter, let me borrow some of his cookbooks!" She pulls out the meal in question. It's an assortment of green and red peppers with melted cheese over the beef. All and all, it looked heavenly.

"Walter, let you borrow his books? After your last mishap?"

A blush flashed its way onto her face. "I-It wasn't that bad..."

"Oh no, it was far worse. I don't believe I've seen Walter carry such a grim expression for as long as he did. Then again, I didn't spend six long hours scraping slime off the kitchen ceiling,"

We both laughed at that little mishap before Julie leaned and whispered in my ear. "He's not still mad about that, is he?"

"He's letting you cook now, correct?" Julie nods in response. "Then I would say that's a sign of trust. Everything seems to be in order. I'll go and fetch everyone,"

"See you in the dining room,"

It was seven o'clock this summer evening. The aroma seemed to spread across the entire room. Impressive, given the size of the area.







Walter and Juliet went around the table and set a plate in front of each of us. "Oh! The food smells great!!!" Cece exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Nattie signed while licking her lips.

"Oh yeah! Stuffed bell peppers. Now that's what I'm talking about!!" Donnie said.

"Hmm," Leo agreed.

"It's about d--"

*Clears throat*

Angie tensed up at the sound of Grandmother clearing her throat. I swear to this day that the temperature in the room dropped as she spoke with a chilling warning. "Now, Angela, please watch your language with children present," While Angela received the brunt of Grandmother's scolding, we all nodded unanimously. She's set a few rules for us to follow that she enforces adamantly. No yelling when civilized speaking can apply. No violence against one another outside the ring. And above all else, No swearing! Period! "I-I mean - Uh - It's about time to eat, r-right...?"

A nervous smile graced Grandmother's lips. "Yes, it is,"

Dinner went off without incident. The stuffed peppers were delicious. Although, I can't say the same for the cinnamon buns. Somehow they were burnt and raw. Julie suffers from an unusual curse when it comes to the culinary arts. One dish would be perfect. Then the other would be subpar. Regardless, it was time for everyone to retire for the night. Walter and I escorted everyone, of course. Julie and Angie went to their rooms. Julie was gracious enough to thank us, while Angie flipped me off with her everlasting courtesy. Donnie and Leo share the same hallway. Even under one roof, those two never want to be too far from their baby sister. Walter escorted Grandmother to her room while I tucked in the twins. The first was Nattie. I draped the sheets over and made sure to adjust her scarf. It was a lovely magenta cloth with gold trimming at the edges. A gift from our late mother that she cherishes deeply. Finally, I set her headphones to her ears. Natalya loves the sound of opera singing and playing as she rests.

"Goodnight, Nattie,"

"'Night, Xavier," She replied.

I turned to Cecelia to find the 'cutesy corner,' as she calls it. A corner dedicated to her vast collection of stuffed animals. But at the center was something else. Cecelia was sitting at her art desk, painting an image. It was an incomplete portrait of our late mother. Mother passed when the twins were barely a year old. But every day, Cecelia works on these paintings a little bit at a time to commemorate her. However, she insisted that I not use any photos of her. She wants to work primarily from her memories. Sadly, this painting would be the sixth entry in her attempts. But I do give her some descriptions from time to time. Today, she was working on the most prominent feature we all share, our silver hair. 

"That looks breathtaking,"

"Thanks. I used glitter to match the time sunlight hit mommy's hair. I remembered it always sparkled on bright sunny days," Cecelia said.

"Yes, I recall that too. But you are going to have to finish this project tomorrow. It is time for bed,"

Cecelia gave me the cutest pout before relenting. "...Ok..." Cecelia tucked herself in her bed. As I got off to retire for the night, Cecelia was gracious enough to remind me of an essential aspect of bedtime. "Xavier! You forgot, Mrs. Barney!" 

I looked at her pile of stuffed animals and spotted the culprit. A purple and green unicorn with a smile that sent shivers down my spine. Whatever possessed Grandmother to buy this thing? But I relented and brought it to the bed. I tucked it under Cecelia's arm and kissed her and Natalya goodnight. I entered my room without a bother as I changed my clothing. But before I could rest my eyes, there was something in the window. For the briefest of moments, I thought I saw two red dots. It was enough of a shock to raise me out of bed in fright. However, the moment I blinked, the dots disappeared. I quickly composed myself and walked out to my balcony. There was nothing to greet me save for the night air. The motion sensors did not go off, and the outside was undisturbed. A sigh I didn't even know I was holding escaped my lips. I quickly returned to bed and began drifting off to sleep. As I entered the realm of dreams, I faintly caught the sound of a snap.
> Chapter II
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Unknown Location.]


"You know, for the record, I agree with this plan. Something this exciting hasn't come for a long time. It's worth the ache in my hand for bringing that excessive toilet home across dimensions!"

"Was the task too much for you, Discord?"

"A task too much for 'Moi'? I'm sorry, but have you read my resume? I am Discord, the spirit of Chaos and Disharmony!"

"..."

"Hehe, right; I suppose you already know that. But I feel I must reiterate the joy of bringing these humans here. You can't see their destinies like your other creations. They belong to that other deity! Their presence is one big box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get!" 

"You are correct in your analysis. I am not their author. Their stories are like a locked diary, barring all prying eyes save for the owner of the book,"

"Exactly! Let's not forget what happened the last time humans came for a visit!"

"What happened was something improbable made possible. The veil between the worlds shifted beyond the notice of the gods. This event allowed one not of this world to slip through. The result was less than ideal. But therein lies the remedy to heal that flustering wound. My world is on a downward spiral left by the madness of ones so violent and cruel. However, those very beings show the capacity for goodness. The human deity understands this. I believe it is why it is so passive to those it governs,"

"Oh yes, sound logic there. The humans made a mess, so let's get more humans to fix that mess! I am sure the world doesn't hate them at all. Where is the logic here?"

"A being of chaos arguing for logic? That is quite a surprise. You show such compassion for them. Is it because you hold an affinity for them? A kinship?"

"Oh, fuck you! You're omniscient! You already know it!"

"..."

"It's, uh, human reference..."

"...Yes, but I want you to say it~."

"Touche. But I am chaos personified! I don't have feelings. I have impulses,"

"Very well. Then you shall act as the human's guardian. Protect them when their lives are in dire straights. But it would be best if you did not reveal your intentions to them. The deity beyond the veil only agreed to this plan so long as we abide by how dictates its creations," Discord looked aghast by this order, but he did not challenge it. How could he?

"So, I am a glorified babysitter for different gods' possessions?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes,"

"Tsk. It's willing to lend out its toys, but only under its rules? Talk about a control freak. Anywho, let's check up on our displaced Homosapiens. Toddles," With that said, the spirit of chaos disappeared with a snap of his paw.

"You will be my editor for another author's characters, Discord. Let the quill stroke against the parchment and allow the ink to flow,"







[Golden Oaks Libary - 8 am - Twilight's POV.]


"It's uncanny!" I said to myself. I was in the basement, reviewing notes and charts, when I discovered something was amiss. My thermometer was on the floor in several pieces. Thankfully, the point on the scale was still intact. But the readings I was getting were something astronomical. "What could this mean? Was there a magical surge emitting from the Everfree? Perhaps some residual side effects from purging Nightmare Moon?" Nothing was making sense about these readings. I returned upstairs to see if Spike had received any word from Celestia. "Spike? Did we get a response from the princess yet?"

Spike was wearing his favorite sleeveless purple hoodie and black shorts in the living room. On the coffee table were a letter and some remote machine. "Yeah. It's some weird scanner and a response letter,"

"What does it say?"



"My Faithful Student, as you may already know, there was a massive magical disturbance during the night. Being alicorns, Luna and I are more in tune with our world's mana way lines. Both of us were able to deduce that has pierced through the veil and entered our plane. This event is a matter of grave concern. Only a being of great magical prowess could perform such a feat. My researchers here in Canterlot are doing all they can to solve this phenomenon. I seek your aid, as well. The device I sent along with this letter will aid you in locating the source of the disturbance. You may also bring along any pony you deem suitable. However, I must stress that you cannot engage in whatever you may find; only observe and report. Your findings will dictate how we shall proceed in handling this matter. Be cautious in this endeavor, Twilight.

Your loving mentor, Princess Sol Celestia"



Spike places down the letter with a worried expression. "What do you think this thing could be?"

I crossed my hooves against my chest as I sighed. "I don't know, Spike," I said with uncertainty before I felt a rush of determination swell within me. "But both the princesses are counting on us to solve this mystery! Take a letter, Spike! We'll need the girls on this one!"

Spike gave me a salute and began writing out the letters. I took the time to shower and dress. Looking over in the mirror, I had a purple shirt with white cufflinks and blue jeans. I came back to the living to find most of the girls save for Rainbow Dash here. Spike was swooning over Rarity again, complimenting her on her outfit. It was a lavender shirt and black miniskirt that highlighted her features. Fluttershy wore a green sundress and sunhat. Pinkie wore a yellow shirt and black yoga pants with grey stripes on her thighs. She seemed to be shivering in place for some reason. I had no idea why. Finally, Applejack lounged on the couch with her Stetson hat over her face. She must've finished her work quota as some dirt covered her cheeks. Oddly enough, her white blouse and long black shirt were still pristine. Everypony was talking amongst themselves until I cleared my throat. I soon regretted doing that as Pinkie assaulted me with a glomp.

"Hey, Twilight!" Pinkie chirped.

"Urk! H-hey, Pinkie!" I said in a strained voice. Her bosom smushed against my muzzle, making it difficult to breathe. But that was nothing compared to her bone-crushing hug. My saving grace came in the form of Applejack as she pried Pinkie off of me.

"Ease up there, Pinkie Pie. I reckon Twilight wants to fill us in on the urgent matter she called us for before she passes out,"

Pinkie playfully pouts at this. "Oops. Sorry Twilight. I can't wait to hear about this important news you have for us! It must be a doozy of a doozy. My Pinkie sense is on a maximum sugar rush!!!"

I shot Pinkie a perplexed expression. "Your 'Pinkie sense?'"

"Yes, you silly filly. It's where I can - Wait - hold on a second..." Pinkie stops her nonsense for a moment as she digs into her mane. My left eye started twitching as I saw her hoof sink into the puffy valley upon her head. Then, in an act that obliterated physics laws, Pinkie pulls out a folder titled 'MLP story guide.' "Let's see, hmm. Oh! 'Feeling Pinkie Keen' isn't for another fourteen episodes. But that depends on how the author wants to incorporate the adventures. They could come in any order basically,"

Pinkie tosses the book back into her mane while all of us look at it as if she grew a second head. I opened my mouth to try and challenge this insult against my sanity. But Applejack spoke first. "Twi. Let it go,"

"But she--"

Applejack came up to me while firmly grasping my shoulders. "Trust me on this one, sugarcube. Let it go!"

Rarity clears her throat as our attention shifts to her. "That is right, darling. We have more than enough problems at the moment. You were saying Twilight. Not to sound like I am complaining, but waking up this early could seriously dampen my beauty, regiment!"

Applejack snorts at this. "Oh, no, we can't have that! Come off it, Rarity. The early bird gets the worm, as we apples say. Spending time in front of a mirror won't get you what a day out in the fields can,"

"Well, if a certain pony would care for their feminine charms more than plowing dirty fields, then she would understand better!" 

"Understand what exactly? How do string a partner along to get the best deals on the market?"

"More like how to be more dignified at social gatherings than flexing around like a Bronco!"

Pinkie, Spike, Fluttershy, and I all gasped at that. Applejack silently stood up from the crouch stood in front of Rarity. "Care to repeat that?"

"Girls, please don't fight..." Fluttershy pleaded meekly. I would've missed it if she wasn't next to me. Spike and Pinkie looked lost on what to do.

Rarity stood up as well as my two friends got in each other's faces. Their snouts were practically kissing. "Why should I bother? You're proving my point right now!!"

It looked like a fight would break out, and we hadn't even left the library. "Enough!" I shouted, using my magic to separate the girls. "I understand that this emergency came at an inconvenient time. But that is no excuse for friends to launch personal attacks on one another!" Rarity and Applejack had the good sense to look ashamed of their actions. 

"Oh. Oh!" Pinkie was waving her arm like a mad mare to get my attention. I sighed as I sigh pointed to her. "Maybe this emergency is affecting pony's minds and making them say mean things to their friends!"

"Oh, my! I hope that isn't the case!" Fluttershy said in a worried tone.

"Or maybe some ponies just need their morning coffee," Spike muttered. However, I shot him a look that made him wince.

"Regardless, Spike, could you send a letter to Rainbow Dash again? She should've been here by now--"

" GIRLS!!!" My friend in question came bursting through the doors. She was in her workout clothes. A wonder bolt jacket over a red sports bra and black shorts. "You won't believe this, but some millionaires moved into Ponyville!"

All of us were left confused by her statement. Save for Rarity, who claps her hooves in excitement. "Oh! Are they from Canterlot? Manehattan, Prance!? Did you see their cutie marks? Can you describe their garbs? You must tell us everything, darling!" Rarity said. Her eyes had a bright sparkle as Rarity inched closer with every question. Rainbow went to respond, but Pinkie came into her view as well.

"Oh! New ponies just moved into Ponyville? Do they like parties? What's their favorite cake? Strawberry? Vanilla? Double mint? Chocolate?"

Rainbow leaned back from Rarity and Pinkie as her ears splayed against her head. "I didn't meet them or see their clothes. All I saw was this huge mansion on the outskirts of town. It was bigger than the Riches and Sweet Apple Acres combined!"

That caught Applejack's attention. "Now hold up there, Rainbow. Sweet Apple Acres practically makes up most of Ponyville. How the hay could Ah miss that on the way over here?"

Using my magic, I summoned a map of Ponyville. "Here's a map of Ponyville. Rainbow, can you show us where this mansion is located?"





"Right here. It's north of the clock tower," Rainbow pointed out.

I narrowed my eyes at the map as I gave a single command. "Follow me, girls!" We all rush to the balcony. My telescope was waiting there. I looked into it, and I couldn't believe my eyes at the sight of it.

"What do you see, Twilight? Huh? Huh? What do you see?!" Pinkie asked excitedly.

"It is a mansion, but I've never seen one like it. Not even in Canterlot!"

"Pardon me, darling!" Rarity said as she moved me to the side. A gasp escapes her muzzle as she stares at the structure. "It's positively massive! The design is foreign. That much, I can tell, but where!? We must go talk to them at once!!!"

Rarity moved away from the telescope as Applejack took her turn. "Yep. It is near the northern fields of my farm. The trees must've blocked the view of the place,"

Spike went next. "But where were the construction ponies?"

"Maybe they used their tools quietly. They probably didn't want to make a big deal about moving into town," Fluttershy offers.

"That can't be the case. This mansion must be the source of the disturbance. It's the only logical conclusion we can draw from its sudden appearance!" I stated. "I think it's time to welcome our new neighbors,"

"I'll bring my wagon!" Pinkie vanished before any of us could say anything. I let out a tired sigh. 

"It's too early for this..." I said flatly.







[Kingston Manner - Xavier POV.]


"Master Xavier,"

"Wha...?"

"Master Xavier. Wake up, sir,"

The voice of Walter rouses me from my sleep. I opened my eyes, only to close them again. Walter was shining a flashlight onto my face. "I take it the power is out?"

"Indeed, sir. Mrs. Kingston and the little ones are still asleep. I can't say the same for the others as I hadn't the time to check,"

This day is already going to be annoying. "Right. Let's rectify this right now," How does a multi-million dollar power grid shut down out of nowhere? Walter handed me a spare flashlight as we left my room. The hallways were pitch black leading to the main stairs. Thankfully, some light was shining through the windows. Of course, the generator is on the opposite end of the manner. "Any idea on how the power shut down?"

"It's hard to say, sir. Mrs. Kingston spares no expense when building this estate. Nothing short of an earthquake would've been able to cause a shortage,"

"Yet our sleep went completely undisturbed..." I feel as though we're missing something. "Besides, an earthquake in New York? Doubtful,"

"But not implausible, sir,"

I remained silent as we entered the generator room. There was no visible damage to the circuit breakers. But it looks as though something jostled the switches into the off position. "Right. It's an easy fix, but it will take some time for the power to return. But with everyone still asleep, no one will be the wiser," I got a sudden reminder of what Murphy's law is when something broke in the distance. Then, a shrill cry from a harpy echoes outward.

"THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH THE LIGHTS!?"

I could feel the oncoming headache as Angela's voice echoed throughout the manner. "I must say Ms. Nyx has excellent vocals and impeccable timing,"

"Let's go before she breaks--

*Shatter*

"Bugger..."







[Angela POV - A few moments earlier.]


Sleeping in a rich boy's bed never gets old. Sure as hell beats sleeping in that tailor park of an apartment. "Angie. Wake up!"

"Wha..."

"You need to get up. There's something-"

Julie was here, waking me up for some bullshit. I didn't have time for that. So I turned over and put the blanket over my head. It must've been like five seconds before she started badgering me again. I stuck my hand out from the shirt and flipped her the bird. I could hear Julie fucking off while I smiled. But then I felt something hit my head. It made a soft plop against my body. This stupid girl was hitting me with her pillow. Now any other dipshit that thought it was wise to fuck with me ended with a trip to the clinic. But beating the shit out of a friend's baby sister would be dumb as hell. So I let her have her fun till she got tired. 

*PLOP*

*PLOP*

*PLOP*

"Alright, FUCK IT!!!" I shot out of the blanket to face this little girl that decided to be a cunt! She was there, backing away from the bed, holding the light from her phone. "You better be ready, Goldilocks,"

"Angie. Calm down and-"

I didn't let her finish and started to race at her. I didn't get far as Julie decided to be a cunt and shut off the light. It was pitch fucking black in the room. Then, as I got off the bed, my foot got caught on the sheet. I slipped and the damn piece of cloth wrapped around like some anaconda! I wasn't going to let this stop me. I ripped the sheet apart while Goldilocks backed away. I couldn't see the brat, but I heard her. I lunged forward, ready to wring her neck, only to trip over a boot or something. I fell face-first against the floor. This shit is pissing me off. 

"THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE LIGHTS!?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you! The powers out! We must find out why before the girls or Miss Kingston get hurt!" Julie said.

"Do I look like a fucking babysitter? That's Alfred's job!"

"No. You look like a cranky bitch squirming on the floor. Also, you have to try to stop cussing so much,"

I was quiet for a bit before I managed to feel around the floor for something. I found one of my boots and lobbed it. Julie makes some stupid squeak while running out of the room. The boot crashed against a mirror, breaking it. Not that I gave a fuck. Richie Rich could replace it. Just like Julie is going to replace some missing teeth! I got up and ran through the door before it closed.







[Outside the Mansion - Twilight's POV.]


The girls, Spike, and I were all standing outside the mansion. All of us were nervous. There was no telling what kind of ponies were lying in wait for us. Rainbow was in the air flying around the structure. Meanwhile, Rarity was appraising the gate barring our path. "I must say, darlings, this mansion is much alluring now that I can see it up close. It's very foreign from anything I've from my visit to Canterlot or Equestria for that matter," Her features morphed into glee as she turned back to us. "But the exotic nature of this manner makes it more marvelous! When can we meet them!?"

"Whoo-wee. I wonder how much bits went into this place?" Applejack said.

"Maybe it was one billion bits; no, two billion! Or maybe-"

"Pinkie!" I scolded, cutting her off.

"Sorry, Twi. I guess the only way to know for sure is to ask them ourselves!"

"Oh my, I don't think we should bother them about their expenses," Fluttershy muttered.

"I think that-" Spike started, but I cut him off.

"We lose focus here, everypony. The safety of Equestria is at stake!" 

Rainbow Dash flew down from her aerial reconnaissance. "There's plenty of ways inside, but the lights are out. I don't think anypony's home,"

"So, what do we do?" Spike asked. "Do we just go inside?"

"That's not mighty neighborly, barging somepony's home without permission," Applejack said.

"I am sure if we explain our reasoning and not break anything, then the ponies inside won't mind, provided they mean us no harm. Here's the plan; we'll split up into groups. Spike, Rainbow, and Fluttershy will check the upper levels. The rest of us will go in groups of two on the ground level. I'll put a spell on us to keep track of our positioning once we're inside," I summoned my magic as a purple aura washed over us. The aura dissipated as we began to move inside. The halls were dark. The only light available was from the open doors and a few windows. Even then, visibility was limited. I must admit that the interior is far more captivating than anything found in Canterlot. "Everypony set?"

"All set, Twilight?" Spike said.

"Good. Stick to the plan and cover each other!"

Everypony nods their head as Rarity joins me. "Oh! Where should we start first?"

"We ain't here for sight-seeing," Applejack stated.

"Yeah, this place isn't all that great," Rainbow said while hovering in the air. However, she couldn't take her eyes off the chandelier as she drifted toward it.

"I wonder what else is in here?" Spike asked.

"Hopefully, nothing too scary," Fluttershy quivered.

"It's ok, everypony. Compared to facing Nightmare Moon, an empty mansion is more than something we can handle," I said.

"But how are we supposed to look around in the dark?" Rainbow asked.

"Here you go," Pinkie said, giving out hardhats with flashlights on them. "It's a good thing I brought these before we came inside. So what are we waiting for, a written invitation? Oh! I got those too!"

I stood there with my left eye twitching as Pinkie skipped along the left hallway. Applejack follows after shaking her head towards me — a small reminder not to question Pinkie's absurd tendencies. Spike, Rainbow, and Fluttershy went up the stairs as we discussed, leaving Rarity and me in the foyer. I felt a tug from my right and looked to find Rarity dragging me to the right hall. "Come along, darling. I am sure once we solve this mystery, you will feel better,"







[Kitchen - Cecelia's POV]


"Cece. Shouldn't we wait in our room?" Natalya signed.

I looked back at my sister and shook my head. "No one will know we left, not with our decoy's there," When I woke up, the lights were out in our room and the hallway. It's a good thing grandma still slept. She hates when things are not working right. That's when it hit me; everyone was sleeping. Wallie would be fixing the lights so that no one would stop us from my plan. I woke Nattie up, placed Dumbo and Sleth under the covers, and made our way to the kitchen. We've come here many times, so the dark wasn't evil. We reached the fridge and found our prize — Grandma's Turtle Cheesecake. "I know you want this cheesecake,"



The cheesecake was grandma's favorite dessert. She never shares it. Nattie licked her lips as I gave her a piece of the cake. She looked like she was about to swallow the cake whole. She stops while looking at me. "Hang on, what do we do when they find out we ate the cake?"

"You mean, what will Donnie do when they find the empty plate on his bed!" Nattie looked at me like I grew a zit before smiling. We both got to work eating the cake like crazy. It was so good that I didn't want it to end. But then something happened I didn't account for, which was the sound of the door opening. I stopped eating while Nattie and I looked at each other. The cake was half gone, and the fridge was wide open. We were going to get caught!

"Come on; hide in the cupboards!" Nattie pulls us into the lower cabinets. We could hear the footsteps, but they sounded weird - to be honest. Nattie started weaving signs like she was swatting flies. "I thought you said everyone would be asleep!"

I did the same to keep from making a sound. "They are sleeping! At least, I think they are," Nattie gave me that look Julie gives her brothers when they mess up. "Relax. It's probably Wallie getting breakfast started,"

"In the dark?"

"The fire from the stove counts as light,"

"What about when the pan is over it?"

"It still works!"

"Nuh, uh!"

"Uh, huh!" 

"Nu- 

"Oh! Look, Applejack, cheesecake!!!"

"I got to say this is one fancy kitchen. Now, who gone and left vittles on the floor? That's just wasteful!" We heard more footsteps from them, but they sounded weird, like they had cleats on or something. "What the hay is this thing?"

Nattie had to place her hand over her mouth from the sound I nearly made. We had never heard that voice before. "Whose's Pinkie?" I signed. Nattie shrugs at me.

"Who is Applejack, and why did she say hay?" Nattie asked me. And then I shrugged.

Nattie was as clueless as I am right now. Were we being robbed? Slowly, I opened the cupboard to try and find out what was going on right now. I couldn't see much, but a person was eating the rest of the cheesecake like a dog. I couldn't tell what the other person was doing, but I heard the blender go off, and the other started screaming.

"What in tarnation is this contraption!? It looks mighty, dangerous!" I could hear the Applejack person start messing with the different settings on the blender. It was utterly unfair. I never get to touch the mixer, and these people break in to mess with our stuff! She hit the wrong button because we could hear the blender going crazy. "Land sake!!!"

"Oh! What's inside this bell pepper?" There was a loud crunch from that Pinkie person. I couldn't believe it. First, she broke in and ate our cheesecake; now she's eating our leftovers! But I heard her puke, so it must've not agreed with her. "Urk! That was nasty! I need to wash that down with something!" I was starting to get mad at these people! You don't just come into someplace you don't live and eat their stuff. I was about to tell them what was up when Nattie pulled me back.

"We should go before they find us. We need an adult!" She signed.

"Yeah, let's go," I wanted to tell them off myself, but we were only kids. I hate being small. Nattie slowly opened the cabinet, and we crawled away. We were right at the door when that Pinkie person screamed. We looked back to see she had opened the freezer. It was still hard to see the faces, but I thought I saw pink fur.

"A-Applejack...!"

"Oh, mah stars! I-Is that- Meat!?!?"

"What does this mean, Applejack? Did somepony get hurt?" Somepony? What did that mean?

"I can't rightly tell Ya, Pinkie. But whoever these fellas are going to have a serious reckoning coming when the princess finds out,"

What was up with them? They act like they never saw meat before. Why are they talking funny, and who is this princess? Nattie started dragging me away. But then I goofed up. My foot hit the broom on the way out. I turned to try and catch it, but I was too late. It was the loudest thud I had ever heard. Applejack and Pinkie both spun around. They looked at the broom on the floor before looking up at us. The light hit our eyes, and I heard them gasp. I knew we were busted, so I grabbed Nattie and ran away. "RUN!!!"

"HEY! YOU CRITTERS, GET BACK HERE!!!" Applejack said.

"YEAH! WE HAVE QUESTIONS! FOR STARTERS, DO YOU LIKE PARTIES?"

These people are crazy! And now they were chasing us! We have to find somebody fast! "LEAVE US ALONE!!!"







[Donnie's POV.]


"I never thought I live to see the day when the rich forget to pay the electric bill! I mean, is this the opposite day or something?" I complained as we walked the halls to the generator room. The only source of light was from our two flashlights. There I was, having a dream about being a filthy wealthy tycoon. There were sports, hot models, and Angie in a string bikini serving tiki drinks. Everyone else was there too, you know, as hired help. Then my butler - Leo, supporting his trademark frown - came up to me and said, "Wake up," and killed everything. I woke up, and there was Leo's face. Not a pretty sight to wake up to at all. Then I found out the let's were out, which prompted Leo to investigate, which led to the two of us shuffling in the dark hallways like a pair of goons. "I am going to send a very angry about the rent office!"

"Hm," Leo replied.

"I mean low-income housing go through blackouts and power outages, not the Beverly hills sweet,"

"Hm,"

"And-"

"Shh..." He just shushed me.

"Did you just shush me-"

"Listen!" The tone in Leo's voice was sharp. I nodded and kept my mouth shut. Leo's instincts have never steered us wrong. And sure enough, we could hear chatter and shuffle in the distance. The sound was coming from one of the guest rooms. I stood on the left of the doorframe while Leo stood on the right. It was one of the average guest rooms in the place. One bed. One lampstand with a laptop. One mini-fridge. One flat-screen television. You know, the essentials. We looked inside to find three people talking to each other. 

"This room is bigger than the entrance to the library!" Ok, so there was a guy.

"Typical rich nobs wanting to show off how much bits they can waste," A feisty girl with a raspy voice.

"Oh, my! We shouldn't assume things about somepony we haven't met yet, Rainbow," I could barely hear this one, but she must be one of those shy types.

"Bits? Rainbow? What the hell?" I whispered to Leo, and his response was to put his finger over his lips. He shushed me again!

"Come on, Fluttershy. They think the world bends a knee to them so it can kiss their flanks. I mean, look at this mirror! What kind of mirror is all black like this?"

"Is she serious?" I asked. How could you mistake a tv for a mirror?

"Shh!" My right eye started to twitch.

"I might have to agree with Rainbow about these ponies," Ponies? Are these crooks mental or something? "Look at this thing. What's the point of having a big mirror on the wall and a little-- Aah!" I heard the familiar chime of the laptop booting up. Kingston has spare laptops for their other laptops lying around the place. "There's a picture in the mirror!"



"Oh! Spike, that's a raccoon. They're always cute little rascals. But why would somepony dress it? And what is that thing it's holding?" The shy one asked. Seriously, could you speak up a little? I know they are pulling a burglary, but how can they hear each other? They must be new to the game.

"What about that weird little doll on top of it? Is that supposed to be a tree?" That Rainbow one asked.

"I think their comic book characters from their design. But they must be new characters. Weirdly, they're using raccoons and trees over any other species," The Spike dude said. 

I turned over to Leo to get his thoughts. I opened my mouth to speak, but he silenced me for the third time today. I growled at him before he started gesturing with his hands. "Keep quiet and use sign language!"

I shot him an annoyed look before nodding my head. "What's the play? Because I am 99.9% sure these crooks escaped from a mental institution,"

"We rush them — these three thieves are not carrying weapons or watching the door. I'll take Spike while you get Rainbow. That Fluttershy one doesn't seem like the argumentative type,"

I snorted softly at this. "With a codename like 'Fluttershy?' I never would've guessed," Leo held up three fingers and started counting downward. Three. Two. One. Both of us bolted inside the room. Leo tackled the guy to the ground while I grabbed Rainbow. As my brother guessed, Fluttershy didn't do a thing. I heard struggling from Leo's side while Rainbow grunted and squirmed underneath me. "Hey there, Rainbow. You might want to try not to move around too much. I might break something by accident," I don't know why this chick was wearing feathers on her back, but I was able to get her arms behind her.

"What the buck!? Get off me. You creep!!!"

I blinked at her choice of words before smirking. "Quite the mouth on you - I think..."

"Don't move!" Leo said to Spike. It was dark, but Leo had his forearm against Spike's throat. "Breaking into our house wasn't smart!"

Leo must be applying pressure since Spike hadn't spoken a word. However, we weren't expecting the shy one to speak up. "How dare you! How dare you two appear out of nowhere and hurt my friends!"

Looking in Leo's direction, I made a snide comment. "Ok. - *grunt* - I am 100% sure we're dealing with insane people!" 

I couldn't comment further as the light from their hard hats ( how we miss that?) shined down on us. Then I saw that Rainbow had a large pair of wings on her back. Leo's eyes widened when he got a good look at his guy. Either Spike had the worse case of skin rash ever seen, or these jerks robbed a costume store before hitting us. I couldn't do anything further as Rainbow's freaking wings slapped me in my face, breaking my hold on her. She must practice break dancing since she spun on her hands and kicked me in the stomach. I landed on my ass across the room. At the same time, I caught a glimpse of something wrapping around Leo's waist and throwing it towards me. Great, my stomach hurt, and Leo fell on me. I hate Mondays! But Murphy wasn't done taking a piss at us; oh no, he was in top form today as Spike chucked the mattress on us.

"Let's find Twilight and get out of here!" Spike said. Now there's a Twilight? These nut cases need better code names.

"What? We can take them!" Someone's arrogant.

"No! We're leaving now to get help!" Fluttershy said. She surprised everyone with how commanding she sounded just now. "I-if that's ok with you..." And she lost me.

Leo decided to stop being useless and hurl the bed off of us. As we got up, our three guests chose to book it. "Ok. So we're dealing with demented costumed furries that like to socialize in strangers' homes. Am I still dreaming?"

"Come on!" Leo replied while running out of the room. He's always been suitable for conversations.

"Don't wait for me or anything!" I grunted out, still reeling from that kick.








[Rarity's POV]


"Twilight. I realize you are quite eccentric when dealing with the upper echelon of high society, but you must allow me to meet the pony behind this glorious workstation!!!" I admit I was positively giddy at the prospect of another fashion connoisseur like myself. Twilight and I stumbled upon a delightful little wardrobe and workshop station. These lines of fully prepped garments are for formal and casual wear. But the materials. Sweet Celestia, the materials!!! "Look at this, Twilight; have you ever seen this fabric? The texture is smooth and radiant like it came from the air itself. But I can't seem to find a name for it! Oh, how infuriating!"

"The fabrics are outstanding, Rarity, but they only reinforce how strange these newcomers are since even you can't identify them," Twilight said. 

"Twilight Sparkle! I am surprised at you! How can you so casually dismiss this as something dangerous? What lies before us is a masterpiece woven by a true artist! Every stitch and seam tells a story of who this pony is. For example..." I pulled out an outfit tailored to a little foal - a filly from the looks of it - and displayed its brilliance. "Look at this, Twilight. A smashing little number made for casual outings. A yellow, short-sleeved dress. Notice how the shirt portion flows in the air as I move it. That tells you it's comfortable and allows for breathing room. These jeans and pants are the same. They don't hug against the body too tightly or chafe your fur. The overall message from this ensemble is 'I love you, and I want you happy no matter where you are - looking fabulous while you're at it!"

"That was sweet, Rarity, but flawed. It makes sense that whoever these ponies are will look out for one another. It's what they could do to everypony else that has me concerned. I mean, this mansion weakens our magical prowess! Doesn't that spark some questions as to why that is?"

I might've forgotten about that tiny detail in all my excitement. "I suppose so, but ponies do have bad experiences with magic," It was a flimsy counterpoint, one I saw through myself. Whatever is blocking my magic has me feeling a bit peckish. It's not enough to warrant medical attention, but it isn't enjoyable. Why anypony would go to such lengths to do this to themselves is beyond me. Twilight seemed to agree well with the deadpan look she was giving me. "Oh, darling, you shouldn't put so much. Frown lines do not work for you!"

She sighed as we made for the exit. "Let's keep looking. We need to document our findings as much as we can to report back to the princesses,"

I took one last reluctant look at the room and followed behind Twilight. I prayed Twilight was wrong for once. Seeing such talents squandered because of poor mannerisms would be a shame. I swear it would be easy to confuse this manner for a maze with how long the halls were. But eventually, we came across a poorly lit room. Instantly, I covered my snout as an offensive odor flew into my nostrils. "What is that putrid smell? It smells like Applejack's pigpen!"

I saw Twilight pinching her muzzle as well. "Maybe we stumbled into a waste deposit, and somepony forgot to excavate?"

I paled at that and began to panic, but we both heard a strange yet familiar sound before I could. "Was that a-- whinny?" I blushed at the sound of my voice. A whinny was something extraordinarily intimate in private and utterly embarrassing in public.

"Hello. Is somepony here? I, uh, hope we're not interrupting something private..." Twilight said, her features burning red. The cries got louder in response. It began to take on a tinge of panic from the sound of it. Twilight and I moved closer to a pen of some kind. Once the light hit the pony in question, my heart skipped a beat. "That's not possible...!"

"Sweet, Celestia!!!" I couldn't believe my eyes.

"A-a primorial equine..." Twilight said breathlessly. "Our ancestors from a time forgotten. The first equines to trot across the planes! The ones fabled to see the creator received her blessings of mana...!"

"I thought they were extinct!!"

"They evolved, Rarity, changed into us! But I can't fathom how we're looking at one now!" 

"Well, I will admit that it knows how to style its mane,"

"It shouldn't. The primordial intelligence came after the author's blessings,"

"So, it's a pet?"

"Most likely," I didn't like that idea at all! Very slowly, Twilight and I approached the beast. "Subject; Equine appears apprehensive of us. The wide eyes and constantly flaring nostrils suggest a rising panic. Thankfully, Fluttershy expresses in great detail that to contend with a corned animal; one must show that they are not a threat to them,"

"Um, Twilight, what are you talking about?"

"Just follow my lead, and we might be able to calm it down, see?" Twilight holds up her palm to the equine while I do the same. Twilight's idea seemed to work until the animal reared up on its hind legs as we approached it. That was when I got the idea of how large it was. Sweet Celestia! It was taller than then, well, Celestia!!! Its forelegs flailed violently, causing us to shrink away before smashing through its door. It ran around the room in a frenzy while performing bucks that Applejack would find envious. It was making a mess of everything! The owners are going to be furious. Not to mention, this is ruining our chances of a good first impression. "Twilight! What do we do!?"

"I-I don't know. I've seen Fluttershy use this method before, and it always works! It's a good thing we're alone in here--"

"I heard the sound coming from here, sir. I believe something startled Beatrix!"

"Oh, no, no, no, no!!!" Twilight panicked. 

I found my heart rate-raising, as well. The owners were here all along! I rushed to pull Twilight into the pen and closed the door. It wasn't the best place to hide, now that I thought about it. Our ancestor was more nervous than we thought, considering the pile of - *Urgk* - leavings. I silently prayed to the sun and moon that the stench would wash out my clothing. We heard a door open as two male voices called out to Beatrix as they called her. There was a sharp whistling sound that hurt both our ears. The thrashing and bucking began to slow down, but May still roughly snorted while pacing around the room. Sadly, she stops right in front of her stock. 

"Shh, shh, shh. It's ok, May. Did something frighten you? You made quite a mess of Walter to attend to,"

"An obscene joke, sir. But I believe we should secure May until the power returns,"

These stallions have come from sophistication. And they know how to tame May. I was giddy at the thought of speaking with them, but then my heart sank again at what had transpired a moment ago. "Oh, darling! We've committed a major faux pox!"

"It's ok, Rarity. Remember, we are here at the behest of the Princesses. I am sure they will understand," Twilight said. "Besides, they owe several explanations, with the primordial equine being the biggest one!"

"But still--" I silenced. May started panicking again.

"Easy, girl. What's wrong?"

"Master Xavier. I believe that light coming off Beatrix's pen door is causing May's reaction," I quickly turned to Twilight to see that her light was still on this time. In my haste, I forgot to shut it off.

"...Oops..." I muttered in embarrassment. There was a wordless conversation between our two hosts. But their approach was unmistakable. At the bottom of the gate, a shoe came into view. But the hoof inside was odd. It was long and held a curvature when it shouldn't be there. It would throw off one's balance entirely. I can at least be thankful that the hoof-wear is marvelous. A sigh escaped my lips when the door opened. It was not the way I wanted to meet these excellent ponies. But I hope to mitigate any offenses we've committed. "Greetings, gentle stallions. I am Rarity- *GASP*" The words died in my throat. What we assumed to be ponies weren't ponies at all! The light from the hardhat reveals two furless deformed creatures. Their muzzles were concave, and their ears were on the side of their heads. Their eyes were so small that I questioned if they were open. I had no idea what to call these creatures in front of us. Thankfully Twilight did, although the name she used didn't calm my nerves.

"HUMANS!!!"

"What!?"

"What?"

"What?"

All three of us said in unison. But my reaction I was more shocked and fearful rather than confused. Looking around for a moment, Twilight hurls a bucket at them and grabs my hand. We both sprinted to the exit as the humans shielded themselves from the water. I wish it were that easy, but the humans were already after us. "See? Rarity. I knew something was wrong! But this situation is far worse than I predicted! We need to find the girls and Spike!!!"

"Provide they don't catch us first. STAY AWAY FROM the US, YOU BRUTES!!!"

"WAIT! COME BACK!!!"







[Living Room - Third Person POV]





It was pure pandemonium in Kingston's manner. Within its walls were four groups of people currently running - either in terror or pursuit - as all parties slowly converged to one spot. Angela and Julie came bolting down the main stairs as Julie took a hard left. The disgruntled and inconsolable woman was right behind her. Cecelia and Natalya came running across the front door and into the same room as Applejack, and Pinkie followed them inside. A moment later, Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy came barreling down the stairs and bursting through the door. Donatello and Leopard vaulted over the railing after them. And finally, Rarity and Twilight went tumbling through the doorframe as Walter and Xavier finally caught up to them. The power was still out, leaving the only lumination coming from the various headwear and phones. Spike nearly trampled over Cecelia, who slid underneath the dragon. However, Twilight's number one assistant failed to stop himself from colliding with Applejack. Donatello found himself pinned to the ground while trying to clear his airway. Whereas Angela finally managed to get her hands on Juliet's neck, ignorant that she had the wrong person.

Twilight and Rarity trip over a coffee table and fall upon it. The ponies' combined weight was enough to break the legs from under them. Meanwhile, Julie sees the stand and picks it up. She swings wildly at the moving shadows and light until she strikes something. Leopard felt someone strike his cheek with an object. He caught the offending thing and reared back his fist. He stops when a light beam flashes over Juliet holding a leg from a stand. Xavier felt something hug his lower legs. Thanks to the rays, he saw that it was Natalya and Cecelia. He drops down and shields his sisters from the ensuing chaos. Fluttershy saw a couch and dove behind it. However, she felt her arm bump into someone else. If she hadn't screamed in panic, she would've seen that Rarity had the same idea as her. Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth as her eyes darted back and forth. She didn't know who was who between the screaming and shifting bodies. So she threw caution to the side and bearhugged the nearest mass. She squeezed for all her worth until she heard a giggle. The cyan pegasus looked to see Pinkie smiling down at her. Before she could say anything, Pinkie returned the hug with great enthusiasm. Twilight was busily crawling around on the floor until bumps into something. 

"Let me help you up, dear," Walter said, holding his hand.

Without looking, Twilight responded. "Thank you,"

The power turned back on within that utterance of words, lighting up the entire Kingston manner once more. Everyone stopped what they were doing as they got their barrings. Angela stops her strangling once she sees that it's Donatello and not Juliet. Smirking at her confused expression, he spoke. "D-damn, right to the mount, huh? I like your style. Ang- Aah!?"

That earned him a punch to the nose. "Fucking dork!" Angela said as she got up. 

"Pinkie! Lay off with the hugs!" Rainbow grunted out.

"Hmm, ok," Pinkie chirped, releasing the hold on her friend.

Applejack was helping Spike to his feet as she dusted off her clothes. "Sorry, partner,"

"Eh, no harm, no foul," Spike said.

"Is it over?" Fluttershy whimpered, hiding behind a lamp.

"It better be; extended periods of physical extortion are awful! I'm all sweaty!" Rarity whined, coming from behind the lamp.

Twilight sighs in relief at the sight of her friends. "I'm glad everypony is safe. We-"

"Excuse me, madam. But could you explain your presence here?" Walter asked.

Twilight flinches as she turns back to Walter, seeing that he is the one that helped her up. Her mind went blank as she stared into his brown eyes. Then everything clicked back into place as she shrieked and backpedaled away from him. Spike and the girls followed suit as they formed a tight circle. The humans stood where they were, gawking at the trespassers of their home. 

"What the fuck are we looking at?" Angela stated.

"What the buck are we looking at?" Rainbow said at the same time.

"They're humans, everypony!' Twilight informs much of her friend's shock.

"I thought they were a myth!" Spike exclaimed.

"What are you talking about?" Donatello asked. "Seriously. You guys are the weirdest crooks I've ever seen! Why are you in costume?"

"We're not in costumes. Was this supposed to be a costume party?" Pinkie asked.

"It doesn't matter. You broke into our home!" Leopard said firmly.

"You dropped your home in our town!" Rainbow shot back.

"I think you're confused," Juliet said as she started to walk forward.

"Y'all varmints, stay back!!!" Applejack barked, making Julie flinch.

"Indeed. We'll have nothing to do with you, ruffians!" Rarity added.

"Try saying that to my face, bitch!" Angela snarled.

"Enough! I want answers! Who are you? What are you-" Xavier began, but another cut him off.

"We're ponies, and we don't have to answer any of your questions!" Rainbow spat.

"Um, Rainbow, you just did--"

"Ponies! You're all ponies!?" Cecelia shouted, cutting Fluttershy off. Xavier failed to notice his sister moving away from him and closer to their intruders in all the confusion.

"Actually. I'm a dragon-"

"Ponies!!!" Cecelia yelled in exuberance. 

Time slowed down for all parties involved. Xavier reached out for his sister, who ran to Pinkie with open arms. The pink mare saw this and prepared for a hug as well. However, it was for naught as far as Twilight knew. Everything was happening all at once. All she could perceive was the astronomical danger they faced. Her fight-or-flight instincts were yelling at an all-time high. And at that moment, Cecelia drew closer, prompting the other humans to do the same, so she chose to fight. Twilight fell back on her only means of defense that had never failed her yet; her magic! There was no time for another plan. Her horn glowed brightly as the humans shielded their eyes. Sparks started to fling from her appendage. Twilight gritted her teeth in concentration while crafting the spell she needed. A burst of purple mana shot forth a second later, blanketing the living room. One could see a lavender hue flashing in the window from the outside. Twilight held on for as long as she could until her magic shut off. She stumbles a bit while Spike keeps her steady. The rest of the girls look around to find their human adversaries, all unconscious and groaning in pain. Twilight panted as she tried to stand up. 

"I-it worked..." Twilight panted in disbelief.

"You did it, Twilight!" Spike praised.

"Whoo, that was some spell," Applejack noted.

"Are they hurt? They several burns!" Fluttershy said in concern. Multiple burns adorned the humans' arms and faces.

"Those are mana burns. There have been ponies and other creatures receiving them from a high concentration of magical affliction. But these aren't that severe, and we have ointments for them," Twilight said.

"You didn't have to hurt the fillies, Twilight!" Pinkie said in a harsh tone.

Twilight shot her a bemused expression before speaking. "Pinkie, they are humans. In our historical context, they were some of the most brutal conquerors ever to walk Equus. They've committed the most heinous acts that you wouldn't believe. Especially the foals!"

"Yeah, you know the legends! They teach it in every school in Equestria. You shouldn't feel sorry for them because they'll do worse to you!" Rainbow added. "So what do we do with them? I vote we throw them deep into the Everfree forest!"

"While I would agree with you, darling. We shouldn't stoop to their level," Rarity said.

"We don't even know them!" Pinkie asserted.

"They might be different from what the history books told us," Fluttershy offered.

"I don't know, Fluttershy. That one nearly choked me to death!" Spike reminded, pointing to Leopard.

"To be honest, the fillies did seem mighty scared of us," Applejack said.

"Are you even hearing yourselves right now?" Rainbow flared her wings angrily. A full-blown argument brought about what to do until Twilight silences them. 

"Everypony, be quiet!!! Ok! We'll let the princesses decide what to do. For now, let's take them to the sheriff's lockup. Spike, take a letter," 

Her dragon companion nods and pulls out a quill and parchment. He takes down Twilight's words and heads outside, breathing fire on it. With the letter sent, he runs back inside. Applejack was hoisting Donatello and Leopard over her shoulders as Pinkie did the same with Walter. Fluttershy and Rarity were cradling Cecelia and Natalya. Rainbow had Juliet on her back, using her wings to support her while hooking the human's legs with her arm. That left Angela to Spike. He kneels to look at her for a moment before carrying her bridal style. Humans may be savages in history and legends, but Spike, the dragon, was a gentle drake. With everyone accounted for, Twilights nods and heads out of the manner. Twilight groaned at the sight of a gathering crowd. She could already hear the gasps and screams of terror at the re-emergence of humans. 

"Let's go, everypony. I think this bad dad may take a turn for the worse,"







[Canterlot - Celestia's private study]


The princess of the sun calmly sips her tea after a much-needed recess from day court. The regal pony sighs in contentment as a letter appears. "Oh! A report from Twilight. I wonder if she was able to locate the source of that disturbance. Let's see here..."



Dear Princess Celestia. I am happy to report that my friends and I have found the source of the magical disturbance you felt earlier today. A large mansion, far more extravagant than any in Canterlot, appeared in the northern region of Ponyville. While I will admit that the building is incredible and exotic, what we found inside was not. I know you will find this hard to believe. Even after experiencing it for myself, I am skeptical. But our findings are astronomical. There, within the mansion, was a primordial equine named Beatrix. It had golden fur and a mane. The eyes struck me the most. It was like gazing into a deep primal part of myself that manifested into physical form. I wish that were the end, but something more substantial dwelled within that structure. Something I thought was improbable. But the truth of the matter is humans have returned!



Celestia sprang up from her seat so fast that her tea spilled on her carpet. Her eyes widen in shock as she re-read that last passage. "...Impossible...!"



"I can only imagine what you are thinking right now, but it is true—humans - eight in total - Six adults and two juvenile fillies. I cannot tell you all their names or their relationship to each other, but we take all of them to cells in the sheriff's department. Sadly, many of the residents saw us in transit. I am sure that the news will spread like wildfire. Ponies will panic if we do nothing. Please respond to this letter as soon as possible. I fear we may need your guidance now more than ever. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.


> Chapter III
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Canterlot - Celestia's POV]


I reread the letter twice to ensure I wasn't misreading anything. However, I knew Twilight would never joke about something of this magnitude. I put the message away for safekeeping and marched out of my study. My guards were startled and followed behind me. None of them said a word about their charge's serious expression. But they knew something grave must've happened if I was this focused. On the way, I brush past Raven Inkwell, my most trusted advisor and friend. She was undoubtedly there to call the princess back from recess, but something more urgent than cuddling to nobles had come up. Raven stumbled to catch up while trying to gain my attention. However, I pressed onward while giving her commands.

"Raven. I want all my meetings for today canceled, and yes, that includes day court!"

Raen's eyes went wide at this. "B-but Princess--"

"I will deal with the nobility on a later date. Now is a matter of national security! Guards! I want one of you to inform Captain Armor to prepare a small contingent of guards. I want them in the throne room within the hour! Also, notify Princess Cadance and tell her to come to Princess Luna's quarters!"

"Yes, princess!" The guards said as they broke off in the other direction of the castle.

Raven was a stuttering mess. "P-Princess! What's happened? Where are we going?"

"An old species of barbarians I thought was rid of this world has resurfaced. I won't divulge any more information without the presence of my sister. I want you to prepare a press release. I want this situation controlled and contained before my subjects or other nations realize the potential danger!"

"Y-yes, your highness, but can you please elaborate on the danger? I can't organize a press conference without details!"

I said nothing as I continued my stride. The two of us reached the Lunar wing of the castle in no time as I made my way to Luna's room. The guards posted there wisely stepped aside after one look at my features. Inkwell and I entered the dwelling of the night princess. Luna was there sleeping on her rounded bed. I allowed myself a small sigh as I went to wake my sister. Luna was still recuperating from the effects of her cleansing at the hands of the elements. As such, her form was still diminutive. I went over and vigorously shook Luna awake. The princess of the night's response was one of understanding.

"Hath thou lost thy inner faculties, sister! Why doth thee rouse us from mine slumber!?" Much time has passed for the world and Equestria, but she was still speaking in the old tongue for Luna. Her banishment left her detached from everyone we once knew - and while I will do Everything to ensure she can assimilate to modern times - we must focus on the present.

"Sister! An urgent matter occurred in Ponyville! That requires our immediate attention!"

Luna gave me a questioning glare as she sat up. "Pray to tell sister; what has thee so startled that you would seek our council. Doth this urgency comes from the disturbance we felt? Hath thine elements locate the source," Luna asked.

"Yes, sister. A mansion materialized within Ponyville. How it got there, I do not know. However, Twilight informed me of what lurks inside it,"

"What is that, sister?" Luna asks, a perplexed expression adorning her muzzle.

"Twilight reports that A primordial equine - our great ancestors - dwells within its walls. I wish there were more to this discovery, but Twilight also reported coming under assault,"

Luna's eyes narrow at this. "That is most troubling. Wait! Thou stated that the elements came under assault?" I nodded in response. "Who art the aggressors?"

"You will not know this because of your banishment..." I paused as I saw Luna's ears flatten against her skull. It was a swearing topic for both of us. "But a new species appeared seemingly from the ether. They were peaceful at first until their true nature revealed itself. Horrible acts of violence that would make even a dragon reel back in shock and terror-"

"Doth does protest too much, sister..." I blushed as I realized I was projecting. Some snickering to my side told me that Raven also found it assuming. "We are from the old world. Horror and barbarism ran rampant back in those times. However, thou neglect to name said species with all thou posturing,"

I suppose there is no sense in delaying the inevitable. "These beings are known as humans, Luna," Luna's reaction was one I expected. She arches her brow in confusion. However, Raven had dropped her quill and ink all over the ground. Looking over at her, I saw her hand covering her mouth while abstract horror displayed in her eyes.

Luna notices this as well and asks a question. "What makes those hoo-mans so fearsome that the mere mention of their name strikes terror within their assistant?"

"Ordinary, a human would seem unassuming. They cannot fly nor perform magic, such as unicorns and pegasi. I would debate that they are more on par with Earth ponies in terms of strength and endurance,"

"So what maketh them so deadly? Thine description seldom warrants such boast as more savage then dragons,"

"It is their ingenuity and adaptability. A few thousand came to our lands, and they built a settlement for themselves in as little as two years. They possessed a better understanding of societal structuring than most species did at the time,"

"Surely thou sought them out for the betterment of Equestria? Where did things go awry?"

"They followed three religions with rigorous vigor and fanatically believed it in the words of their scripture. It became apparent that humans didn't agree regarding their interpretation of God. There were disagreements, discourse, and finally, war. But to fight a war, they needed soldiers, and that's when they began forcing others to fight their holy war," I paused as I shuddered. Distant memories began to resurface. "Anywho opposed the bloodshed found themselves labeled a heretic in their eyes. For those unlucky souls, death was mercy, so they were subject to atrocities the humans deemed as 'divine punishment.' There was no reasoning. There was no bargaining. To the humans, you would either convert to their faith or die a slow and agonizing death!" I hung my head down while shutting my eyes. "It baffles me, Luna. How can a species preach unity, yet their actions show a level of chaos that Discord himself couldn't conceive? The way that they fought. It's as if death and destruction were all that they know!"

I heard shuffling from Luna's bed as she stood up. Her eyes narrowed down to slits as she spoke. "Verily, sister. We shall see these humans!"

It warms my heart to see Luna with such resolve. I wasn't applied to violence, but there was no other choice. "Raven. Please have that public address ready by the time we return,"

"Yes, princess, and good luck," Raven said, leaving the room. Cadence and a pair of guards came in after Raven's departure.

"Captain Shining Armor is awaiting your arrival, your majesties," 

"Auntie? What's going on here? Why is the castle on alert?" My niece asks.

"I will explain Everything on the way to the throne, Cadence. Come, Luna. We must depart," I said, turning and exiting the room. Luna and Cadance followed close behind, as did the guards.







[Ponyville - Sheriff's jailhouse - Juliet's POV]


"Ow, where am I?" I groaned while rubbing my head. I sat up from my bed and winced as I looked at my arm. I had a bandage on my shoulder. "How did this get here?"

"The purple one did that to you," I turned around to find my brothers sitting in a cage with Xavier and Walter. Angie was with me, along with Cece and Nattie.

Confused, I looked around to see that I was also in a cage. "Why are we in a holding cell?"

"Oh! A bunch of furries broke into our house and kidnapped us," Donnie said, draping his arms through the bars. 

I blanched at that. "Furries? Come on, Donnie. We're in a serious situation!"

"I am afraid Donatello speaks the truth, Ms. Crews," Walter said, walking up to the bars. I looked at Walter, who is always a source of logic and reason, like losing his marbles! "Moments before the power came back. I grasped the purple one - as Sir Donatello aptly stated - by her hands. However, it was a foreleg and hoof, much like May. There is no mistake. These 'people' are not humans,"

All of us were silent at Walter's explanation until Angie had her theory. "You spiked those cinnamon buns, didn't you?"

"What!? No!!!" I can't believe her!

"I don't know, sis. I was feeling queasy during dinner. I didn't want to say anything bad to spare your feelings," Donnie teased.

"Urgh! Leo! Back me up!" I turned to my eldest brother. He was always so sweet to me and often sided with me when Donnie was a jerk. So imagine my surprise when he looks between us and turns his head to the door! "LEO!!!"

"That's fucked, getting minors toked up on weed buns," Angie jokes.

"No, swearing!" Cece told us. All of us looked back at her before we burst out laughing. It was great, laughing like this. It was almost as if we weren't in a bizarre situation.

However, Xavier noticed Nattie was quiet. "Is there something wrong, Natalya?" He asks.

She began weaving her hands to communicate. "Grandma is in the house by herself..." Our eyes went wide when we realized it was the truth. "Are they going to put her in jail too?"

"Don't worry, Natalya. Our grandmother isn't-"

*SLAM*

That was when the door flew open, and several armored equines walked inside. They all had bright gold armor that shone even in the limited light. I can't imagine why they would wear gold for armor. Honestly, it's like we stepped into a king Arthur fantasy. It must be some weird collective dream we're sharing. But the bandage on my arm says different. Their leader was the only one wearing a different set. I guess he stood in front of the line of soldiers and stared forward. I was a little nervous when he looked at me. These horse people gave us some mean looks that I didn't like, especially regarding Cece and Nattie.


(I like this armor. )

I backed up and brought Cece and Nattie closer to me. However, the leader didn't like that. "No sudden moves!" After he spoke, the other guards drew their weapons at us. But the strangest part was when the horn glowed atop the horse people's head while others flared out their wings. We all cringed at this, which only made me bring the twins closer to me. "I said, stay where you are now!!!"

"You're pointing your weapons at a pair of kids. I'm not moving until you stop!" I told him. He frowns in response.

"Your actions are unwarranted. We are already in your custody. So treating your unarmed prisoners like this is immoral!" Xavier stated. I think he was the only person trying to stay calm right now. But I could see him keeping his hand behind his back while making gestures. 'Keep them safe!'

"Yeah, there's no need to make human kababs of us. We're all well-behaved..." Donnie pauses as he looks over to Angie. She had this dead look in her eye like a shadow was casting over her forehead while she glared at the knights. "Most of us, anyway,"

"Bite me!" Angie responded but never took her eyes off the horse people.

"Listen to the monkeys preach about morality," One of the other horsemen spat. 

"They're nothing but hypocrites! Look at the red-maned one! She is practically waiting to bite our throats out!"

Angie smirked at that and made the situation a lot worse. "Why stop there? You got plenty of meat that I could rip off!" 

The guards all tensed up and took stances. It's crazy! If they attack us, then we can't avoid it. "Let's dispose of them now and save the princess the trouble!"

"How are they even holding their weapons with no hands!?" Donnie whispered rather loudly to Leo. Leo responds by elbowing his arm and silencing him,

Cece and Nattie started trembling at their words. Donnie, Leo, Angie, and Xavier took a step forward. My brothers were nervous. Donnie was tapping his foot while Leo tightened his fists. These knights, or whatever they were, were getting more restless. "These remarks and actions are an abysmal showing of discipline, good sir," Walter said while approaching the bars, looking the leader dead in his eyes. "I don't know you, but I can summarize that you come from military discipline. Look at your group. They are rash, prejudiced, violent prone, and don't adhere to protocol,"

"Silence, monkey!!!" One of the knights screamed before slamming his spear against the bars. I pulled the twins even closer now. Walter, to his credit, just stood there with his hands behind his back. I couldn't see his face, but I could tell he didn't bat an eye at that display.

"Thank you for proving my point,"

All the other knights began screaming and shouting obscenities at us until the leader spoke up. "Enough! Maintain order. Don't let a few snide remarks get under your fur! You are the solar unit of her majesty's royal guard! Act like it!" Thankfully, he walks up to the bars and glares into Walter's eyes. "I am Captain Shining Armor--"

"Psh! Shining Armor? That's a little on the nose, don't you think?" Donnie joked. Sometimes I wish I had an off button for him. It also didn't help that almost everyone started snickering at that ridiculous name. Myself included.

Shining Armor grunted in annoyance before continuing. "For the foreseeable future, you are under detainment--"

"On what grounds?" Xavier asks, cutting Shining Armor off. None of the solar guards liked that, but Xavier didn't stop. "What possible crimes have we committed to warrant a lengthy prison stay!?" Xavier was not happy. I wasn't pleased with the teaching of rotting in a cell, either. 

"There is a long list that I am sure you will want to hear," 

A new voice called said. We turned back into the door as more ponies came inside. It was the same ponies and lizard man that kidnapped us. But three new ponies led them inside. The three of them had traits from all three types of ponies, so I assume they are the ones these guards answer. Since there are unicorns here, I think these two ponies are alicorns. However, one of them looks like a teenager. She had blue fur with a sky-blue hair color. She wears a black dress connected to a clasp over her neck. On that neck brace was a crescent moon. Her eyes went wide when she saw us. Then they returned to a blank stare. The pink one looked like she was in her early twenties. She had a look of pure shock when she saw us. Her dress was a purple strapless with a crystal heart resting over her breast. Herr mane - had a three-tone die of purple, yellow, and pink.

The other pony was the tallest person in the room. She had white fur, and an article of clothing similar to one, except her dress was a yellow, single strap with a blem draped over her right shoulder. For some reason, her hair was constantly shifting in a wavey motion. It was like this pony had a blow dryer in front of her face. Like the pink alicorn, she had a three-tone die consisting of aquamarine, cherry pink, and blue. But that wasn't her only distinctive feature. Usually, I don't fuss about women's endowments, but this alicorn was hard to ignore. All of these girls had killer figures. But you could tell the white one stood at the top of the beauty standard people would have. How does she walk with two melons weighing her down? I hope she has a good back massager. I could tell everyone else was thinking the same thing. Walter, Xavier, and Leo kept constant eye contact, which was challenging given that this pony was a head taller than they were. Donnie hadn't stopped gaping since she walked in, and Angie sucked her teeth while muttering something under her breath. I think it was 'fucking sow' or something. Even I glanced down at my chest under my sweater. But I was so busy with my self-appraisal that I missed Cece walking up upfront.

"Wow! Look at her milk duds! She's extra THICC!!!" Cece exclaimed.

"!" I covered my hand against my mouth. All the ponies and the dragon's mouths fell open.

Angie and Donnie were biting their lips desperately, trying to keep from laughing. Leo arches a brow in confusion while Xavier and Walter look mortified. "Cecelia! Where did you learn such a phrase!?" Xavier scolded.

Cece merely points to Donnie, who is frantically waving his hands to stop her. "I heard Donnie say a couple of times while reading his magazines!" I quickly pulled her back to me while shooting my brother a dirty look. We'll have words if we come out of this, alright?







[Cadance POV]


I couldn't believe what I had heard at the moment. I didn't know what extra THICC meant, but I could tell from the context that what human filly just said was wildly inappropriate! Auntie Celestia must've guessed the same since her cheeks were sporting a hot flush of embarrassment. I was about to say something when I heard a sound coming from Auntie Luna.

"Urk!" She was holding her breath until she hunched over and started laughing. "Thine wisdom proceeds thee human filly! Truly. Mine, sister, milk duds as you calleth them, are bountiful!!!"

"Hm...!" Auntie Celestia grunted as her face grew redder.

"Princess Luna. There is nothing with top-heavy mares!" I puffed my chest to emphasize my point. 

"Indeed, dearest niece. The issue stems not from thine bosom sister but thy rump. A backside as plentiful as Celestia's will crush the pelvis of many a stallion! Is it not so, Captain?" Even I started to blush at the comments Auntie Luna was making.

"I think--" Shining said. 

"Bro. Let me stop you right there. That's a trick question. You'll never get the answer, right!" Donnie said. This time, the human mare holding the fillies pulled the blonde-maned human stallion by his ear. "OW!!! Leo! Julie's hurting me! She is pulling my ear!!!" I couldn't help but giggle at their antics.

"Nonsense! We desire to heareth your opinion, sir captain," Luna insisted.

"Yeah, let's hear it, captain," The red-maned human mare said. 

"I want to know as well," I stated. Was that mean and unfair? Maybe, but a mare likes to be reaffirmed by the stallion they are courting. Now poor Shiny started sweating. He started looking to his guards for help, but nopony was backing him. Thankfully, Auntie Celestia steps in for him.

"ENOUGH!!!!" All of us covered our ears from the amplified sound of Aunty's voice. The Royal Canterlot Voice was suitable for addressing large crowds but bad for tight, crowded spaces. The humans looked surprised by Auntie's volume.

"What the fuck are you, a walking blowhorn!?" The red-mane human mare said. Honestly, she is insulting.

Auntie Celestia steps forward with a stern look in her eye. No, it was worse than seeing disapproval, but I couldn't place it. "I am Princess Celestia! And if this little exchange has taught me anything, it is that you humans are still a plague to the land of Equestria!"

"That's a broad assumption for people you've just met," The silver-maned human stallion said. "What exactly makes you the expert on humanity?"

"As if you and your cronies don't know!" Rainbow spoke up. They've been quiet up till now.

"Isn't that why they asked, Dashie?" Pinkie asked.

"PINKIE!!!" Everyone on our side scolded her.

This time, Twilight steps up. "The number of human atrocities stem from vicious public beating, hanging, drowning, rape, mutilation, death by burning at the cross, beheading--"

"Twilight. That's enough!" I said while holding back the bile rising in my mouth. At the same time, I noticed many humans appear disturbed by what Twilight is listed. It was an odd reaction because humans delight in hearing their cruelty.

Leo, the tall blonde human - if I heard right - walks up with a frown of his own. "So, we're automatically guilty by association?"

"You can't be serious!" Julie spoke next. "Everyone is different! You can't judge us based on the crimes of others!" 

"If you raise a timberwolf as a pet, is it less likely to maul you in your sleep?" Rarity said. 

"What's a timberwolf?" Cecelia asked.

"You're comparing us to a wild animal? You looked in the mirror lately, horse girl!" The red-maned human said. 

Rarity flinched back like the human mare slapped her. "It's that sort of rude behavior that proves our point. You're nothing but uncivilized brutes!"

Things were starting to get out of hand. I was about to say something before the silver-maned human spoke again. "Uncivilized? Personality quirks aside, if anyone is uncultured, it is you and your group. You talk about our crimes, something you had failed to list since the beginning when you committed several severe crimes minutes ago," The silver-maned human said. I was curious about what they did. From the looks of their clothing, the guards pulled them out of bed.

"Hey! We didn't break any laws!" Spike firmly stated. The girls nodded in agreement.

The human looks at Spike as he holds up his hand. "You broke into our home: breaking/entering. The criminal act of entering a residence or other enclosed property with the slightest force (even pushing open a door) without authorization. Generally, that misdemeanor is punishable by less than a year in prison. However, it is also a crime that can change into a felony depending on the aggravating factors,"

"What factors are those? And what is a felony?" Shining asked. Unsurprisingly, he's interested since it is his job to uphold the law. I don't believe we have crimes listed in these categories. Twilight was also taking notes, summoning a quill and paper as she recorded Everything.

"The factors include damages to any property inside the residence--"

"Yeah! Those two ate the cheesecake out of the fridge!" Cecelia said, pointing at Applejack and Pinkie Pie.

"Now, wait an apple-bucking minute! That cake was already on the floor when we got there!" Applejack said. "Even when Pinkie ate it, Y'all want to explain why it was there in the first place?"

The silver-maned human looked down at his sister, I'm guessing, with an arched brow. "Cecelia. Natalya?"

"It wasn't us, Xavier. Donnie did it!" Cecelia said quickly before joining Julie again. Donnie just looked at her with his mouth wide open.

"I did not!!!"

Ignoring Donnie's response - we should've asked for their names first - Celestia spoke. "I'd hardly call this alleged cake theft aggravating factors,"

"Surely, you jest, sister!" Luna commented, but a look from Celestia told her to drop it. 

"No. But these bandages on our person more than suggest physical harm," Xavier said, showing us the bandages on his wrist. Twilight cringed at sight. She did say they suffered mana burns from her spell. "That previous misdemeanor now shifts into burglary, which is a felony. In criminal law, a felony is the most severe offense punishable by more than one year in prison. In that regard, burglary is when someone intends to commit theft after illegally entering the premises. However, any unlawful entry onto a property to commit any crime - such as assault or rape - constitutes burglary," The girls and Spike looked tensed. Xavier then puts up another digit. "That is one charge of felony. Another is assault and battery. Now assault charges are only the threat of physical harm. Battery charges are the threat and the presence of physical injury," Xavier made another point of showing his burns as evidence.

"That may be so, but the intent has to be clear, and my friends and I didn't arrive to harm any of you!" Twilight argued.

"That doesn't cut it, purple smart," Donnie's said, making Twilight blush angrily at the nickname. "The threat of harm comes from that cone on your forehead. You're just lucky no died, or that would've been manslaughter,"

"What's manslaughter?" I asked.

"That's when you make an oopsie that gets someone marked off!" The red mane human mare said. It sounded like she was making a joke, but none of us caught it. She sighs while explaining herself. "That's when you kill someone by accident," We all blanched at that while the human smirked. "But you could still be tagged for attempted manslaughter. That little light show did knock us out. Who knows what might be wrong with us,"

While the girls were starting to panic, Celestia seemed to catch something. "Correct me if I am wrong, but this manslaughter charge sounds rigorous. But since it involves death, you would have to be either dead or near-death for it to fall under attempted manslaughter. But since you are neither, that charge is dismissed," It was good to see that smug smirk disappear from this human's face. Satisfied, Auntie turns back to Xavier. "I am assuming there is more?"

"There is also kidnapping — The crime of unlawfully seizing and carrying away a person by force or Fraud, or seizing and detaining a person against his or her will with an intent to carry that person away at a later time," Xavier spreads his arms out to gesture to the jailhouse. "You have us detained in a different location from our home against our will. There are currently eight counts in a case of said kidnapping. One count adds to a year for the overall prison term. Kidnapping is punishable by up to twenty-five years in prison!"

"Twenty-five plus eight equals thirty-three years. Then there's the assault and battery charge, another twenty-five added with the separate counts. So that is about sixty-six years. Then there's the burglary charge set for twenty years with the eight counts, added to the sixty-six years, brings your total amount of time in prison to ninety-four years," Donnie then lets out a whistle as he applause Twilight and her friends. 

The girls and Spike were all pale now. Several of the solar guards shifted about uncomfortably while Shiney grimaced. However, both my aunties seem relaxed about Everything. "NOOO!!! I CAN"T GO TO THE BIG HOUSE!!!!" Pinkie wailed. There were streams of tears leaving her eyes.

"Who is going to watch over my animal, critters?" Fluttershy whimpered.

"I can't go to prison! Those striped clothing are horrid!"Rarity whined. Somehow, the clothes are the least of her worries.

"What about my family? I can't bring that shame to the apple name!!!" Applejack said in alarm.

"They won't let me in Wonderbolts if I have a record!" Rainbow turns to Twilight and grabs her by the shoulder. "Do something, egghead!!!"

"Everything is going to be alight, Rainbow. We have nothing to worry about because we acted within the law!" Twilight proclaimed. Xavier and the humans looked confused before Twilight walked up to their cage. She pulls out the letter Aunt Celestia sent her beforehand. She clears her throat as she adopts a smug demeanor. "Princess Celestia has authorized me to investigate the disturbance that you humans caused!"

"You are mistaken!" All at once, Twilight's confidence shattered. "This letter states you are only to observe and report. Given our current circumstances, you went against orders and endangered everyone!"

Twilight stumbled back before she shot back. "It says that my findings would determine how to proceed. Finding a group of notorious humans is well within the princesses' stipulation!"

"But were explicitly given the order to capture us? And given your attire, you are a civilian. You are not law enforcement; therefore, you had no right bringing us here!"

Ouch. Twilight stumbled again but quickly recovered. "I am Princess Celestia's faithful student. That title grants me privileges, such as direct contact with the princesses themselves!"

I turned back to Xavier to see how he would respond. "Tell me, Captain, given that you are guard, you uphold the law, correct?" Shining Armor nods in response. "Does a student under the princesses' tutelage has the authority to arrest someone?"

"..." Shining Armor grimaced as he said nothing for a time. He let out a sigh as he went to answer. "No. A student under Princess Celestia's watch doesn't grant the means to carry out an arrest,"

Shining got a few sour looks from his coworkers after that. He always goes by the books as he says, and I admire that. Thankfully, it seemed Twilight was far cowing yet. "However, a guard can recruit a civilian. Thankfully, I don't need that, as I am one-sixth of the elements of harmony!"

"Oh! what's that?" Cecelia asked. There was a certain sparkle in her eyes that I found adorable.

"There are these six crazy powerful magical doo-dads that shoot rainbows at the bad ponies and save the day!!!" Pinkie stated.

"Wow, so you're like a superhero!?"

"Yeppers!!!"

"Cool!!!"

"Un-fucking-believable!" The red-maned mare said. I might end up calling her gutter mouth.

Twilight looked unsure about the young filly's reaction. "Yes, and as an element of harmony, we act for the good of all Equestria!"

"We? I assume you mean the seven that broke into our home?"

"We didn't break inside! And only my friends and I are the elements of harmony. Spike is my assistant! I am the element of magic! Fluttershy is the element of Kindness." Fluttershy hid behind her mane a little. "Rarity is the element of generosity," Rarity fluffs her hair with a tiny smirk. "There is no pony better to represent the element of honesty than Applejack," The farm mare tips her hat. "Rainbow Dash is the most loyal pony you will ever meet!" Rainbow flew into the air and puffed out her chest while shooting the humans a cocky smile. "And I dare anypony to try and find somepony more worthy of being the element of laughter than Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie broadly smiles as she leaps in the air while confetti bursts all around. "Together with the magic of friendship, my friends and I can face any threat!"

"Well said, Twilight," Celestia praised.

"Yeah! You tell them, Twilight!" Spike said, many of the guards and Shiney sharing his sentiments. There was even a smile on Auntie Luna's face, albeit small. 

There was a pregnant pause from the humans. It seemed like Twilight's speech finally got to them. However, that didn't last as they started laughing. The older human stallion, Xavier, and the blonde human stallion were, at least, more reserved. But Donnie, Julie, and the gutter mouth were all laughing. "Is there something you find amusing?" Auntie Celestia asked.

"You know," Donnie said, coming down from his laughter. "I didn't know we got sucked into an episode of Sailor Moon!" That peaked Auntie Luna's attention. 

"But that's not what's funny here," The red-maned human said. She walked to the bars and looked Twilight dead in her eyes. All the guards brandished their weapons, but my aunties raised their hands, signaling them to stop. "I couldn't help but put together that you and your little circle-jerking, hero brigading, twats twisting, cunts--

"Angie!" Leo said in a warning tone. It was nice to have a name for the gutter mouth. I realize I could've asked, but it wouldn't be that simple.

"--Respond to threats to your home, right?" Angie finished.

Twilight was seething from her words. I can't claim to understand most of them, but the context is clear. She is very disrespectful. "...Yes...!"

"Are we a threat?"

"Of course, you humans are a threat!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah. Human bad! Oh no! Try it again, pride parade! I meant, are we a threat!?" Angie gestures to the other humans present. "I mean, typically, when I'm out trying to shank my next victim, I avoid the feel of blood staining my fucking tube top and panties by wearing pants!" It was true. Even with all the terrible things documented about violent human behavior, it's hard to feel threatened by creatures in pajamas.  

"W-we had no idea anypony was inside that mansion at the time," Twilight stuttered.

"So, an open door is a free invitation?" Julie said in an upset tone. "Would you like somebody breaking into your home and saying it was ok because a princess told you!?"

Now all the girls and Spike were sweating. "I-it wasn't like that!" Spike argued.

"Then, what is it like?" Xavier said, re-entering the conversation. "Given the apparent disdain for my species, it will be easy for anyone of you to harass us. It is under the prefix of 'The princess' order.' It is ok to break the law as long as the authority approves it!"

All of us recoiled at that. Twilight was trying and failing to formulate a response. I looked at my aunts, but they only absorbed what we were saying once again. "It is never ok anypony to break the law!" I spoke firmly and authoritatively.

"Anypony,' but what about when it comes to us!?" Xavier said. 

I bit my lip at my stupid mistake. "N-no. I don't mean--"

"It is alright, Cadance," Celestia said, cutting me off. "A fascinating conversation we've had thus far. But I've noticed something that you fail to realize," Celestia's eyes, specifically Xavier's, said this. "Or perhaps you have but won't admit it for some reason. Regardless, you all are in the country of Equestria. Every state has a set of rules, regulations, and laws. You've all brought up some interesting laws that are no doubt grave offenses in your land. But do you think your laws apply here?" Why would Auntie Celestia frame the sentence like that?

"Sister?" Luna asked. She didn't like how the talk was going any more than I did.

"In a kingdom with a ruler, their word dictates the law. I am on top of the hierarchy of the political totem. My word is the law!"

"So it's decided then? Our lives were forfeited before we even had a chance to do any wrongdoings!" There was a certain edge in Xavier's voice. Now all the humans tensed up as if they were under threat. Sadly, I couldn't make any argument against that. Twilight and the others technically overstepped their boundaries. And it is coming off as justly unfair to the humans in this case.

"It is decided. My sister, Cadence, Captain Armor, and I will conduct interviews with all of you. We will determine if you are a threat. And subsequently, decide your fate," That was better, at least. It gave humans a chance to plead their case instead of outright punishment. "I warn you all now. It will be in your best interest not to lie to us, or there will be grave consequences! Any questions?"

Angie raises her hand as everyone turns to her. "Can I get some fucking pants?"
> Chapter IV
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Canterlot - Outside the throne room - Third Person POV]


"What is happening!?"

"Where is Princess Celestia?"

"Why is Day Court being canceled?"

"We have a right to know what's happening!?"

Raven inkwell sighed in contempt as the vast hoard of ponies crowded at Celestia's throne entrance. All of them were shouting demands about where the Princess of the Sun had gone. Raven's features were stoic and focused on the outside. On the inside, Raven was panicking. 'Look at them all! How could these ponies - the pillar and model citizens of our nation's capital - devolve into an angry mob? It was all perfect! Celestia would work day court till noon, then cut the new restaurant's rope at three o'clock. And visit the charity event until five. After that, she would have three full hours to herself. Millions of plagues choose to disrupt our way of life. Why it had to be humans again!?'

"Excuse me!!!" 

Raven shook her head as a portly noble with grey fur and a bright brown mane approached. "We demand to know the meaning of this blatant dereliction of duty by the Princess!"

"As I have stated, Silver Tongue, Princess Celestia will be unavailable for the remainder of the day due to national security matters. This emergency requires her full and undivided attention. However, if you still have any grievances, Princess has set up a liaison starting at 9 pm," Raven informed.

"For what purpose? Princess Luna has not been in the public eye after her apparent 'reformation.' Why must we wait for the evening when our problems need addressing right now?"

Raven merely arches her brow at the noble's assertions. "Is your problem more urgent than the safety of the entire country?"

"No, but--"

"Is your life or livelihood in imminent danger?"

"Of course not, but--"

"Then, you can take your grievance to Luna's representative later this evening!" The nobles were not happy with that response as they approached Raven aggressively. This act prompted guards to form a defensive line in front of her. The presence of highly trained, spear-wielding, burly ponies was enough of a deterrent to quell the nobility's displeasure. Raven sent a smug smile as she spoke again. "The Princess will be returning when the matter's concluded. I appreciate your cooperation,"







[Ponyville - Sheriff Office]


"Here you go, your majesties. My office is free for your integration for the criminals," The sheriff said. He had navy blue fur with a two-toned white mane. He wore a light brown vest and matching chaps covering his black jeans. A star in the shape of the sun rested over his right pectoral.

"Thank Sheriff Handbook. But we are not integrating criminals at the moment. We merely want answers," Cadance said.

"I don't know why you're bothering. The perps are humans, after all. It would better to send them up to the river now before they get up to their mischief,"

"Thank you for your input, Sheriff, but we want to be thorough," Shining Armor said. "So, who do you want to talk to first?"

"Before that, what are your impressions of them so far?" Cadance asked.

"I believe I made my stance clear, Princess Cadance," Sheriff Handbook said.

"Yes, you have. Shining Armor?"

Sighing, Shining spoke clearly. "At first glance, I don't believe they pose much of a threat,"

"Looks can be deceiving, my captain. The old humans were just as unassuming as the ones here in the present. We can not allow for any leeway when dealing with them," Celestia stated firmly.

"Thou insist upon the humans being a threat, yet they art few in numbers, possess no magic, or any qualities that would garner punitive actions. Thine humans spoke the truth in stating that we art the aggressors. Their bodies art clad in their undergarments," Luna said.

"Do not lower your guard simply because of their state of dress, Luna. Twilight captured them unawares. And even then, she struggled to do so under the magic-dampened mansion. If the humans come in peace, why create a structure designed to cripple those with magic?"

"Then let's asked them. It's better than arguing whether or not the humans are evil and means us harm," Cadance reasonably said. "But, to me, I think they are scared of us as much we are of them,"

"Fair enough," Handbook said. "I'll bring them inside," The sheriff went to leave, but Celestia held out her wings to stop him.

"One at a time, sheriff. We will start with the one known as 'Donnie,'" Celestia stated while narrowing her eyes.

Luna gives off a small chuckle as the sheriff leaves. "Looking for more compliments, sister?"

Celestia shifted her sharp glare at her sister's mirthful one. Meanwhile, Cadence was looking on in concern. Before anything could happen further, Handbook opens the door to his office and shoves Donnie inside. "Jeez, no need to get pushy!" He said. Donnie turns back to the three alicorns and Shining Armor. "Ladies and gentle-horse man,"

All of the ponies' features soured at that remark. "I am sure you know that starting a discussion by insulting the interviewers reflects poorly on you and the other humans!" Celestia stated.

"We're doing an interview!?" Panic flashes over Donnie's face as he straightens his hair. "Is there time to fix my hair? I left my good suit in the manner! What about-- Ack!!!" Donnie suddenly found himself on the ground as the sheriff clipped the back of his legs, forcing him to his knees.

"You best give the majesties proper respect, or I'm going to introduce you to my spurs!"

"Since when is asking a question considered insulting?"

"Then why do you continue to refer to us as whorses?" Shining Armor asked in a harsh tone.

Donnie quirks a brow at his inclusion of a 'W' in the word horse before everything clicks. "Oh. Oh! I get it. You all think I keep calling you prostitutes! I don't know why you would confuse the word horse with the word whore? You don't need to add the 'W' in front of the word"

"I think there will be time to debate belletristic terms later," Cadance said. "For now, I would like to start. And Sheriff Handbook? Please reframe from physically assaulting any pony for the duration of the process. Actually. Could you go and stand watch with the other guards,"

The sheriff tenses up before reluctantly abiding. "Yes, your highness..." And with that, he left the room.

Cadence smiles as Donnie return to his feet. "Please take a seat,"

Donnie did as requested, while the royals and Shining Armor did the same. They sat in order of their stature, going from left to right with Celestia first, then Luna, Cadance, and Shining Armor. Donnie sits down on a chair in front of the desk. The royals noted that he was still a white beater shirt and white boxers. There was silence for a moment as the two parties stared at each other before Shining Armor cleared his throat. "Alright, we will ask the questions, and you will answer them. There will be no snide remarks or deviations. If you have an inquiry, then you will raise your hand. There will be no discussions of this interview unless specifically ordered by us or any pony we deem worthy of knowing it,"

"But there is something you should be aware of, human," Celestia said. She conjures a glob and sets it down on the table. "This orb is of a unique design. It is known as the truth seeker. It can detect any lies spoken by anypony here. Uttering a lie will cause the orb to glow. Do you understand the circumstances?" 

"Crystal," Donnie said.

"We'll begin with a simple description. What is your full name? What is your gender? What's your relation to the other humans? Where do you live?"

"My name is Donatello Crews. I'm a man--"

"A man?" Luna asked.

"That's what we humans say for our males," Donnie said before continuing. "Julie is my younger sister, and Leo is my older brother. But the others are friends. I live in the big mansion over there. Kind of hard to miss," Donnie stated, pointing to the manner in the distance through the window. 

"I said there are no deviations!" Shining Armor reminded. Donnie smirks while raising his hands in a placating gesture. "What's your occupation?"

"I worked freelance with my brother. We took any job we could before Xavier gave us a job as his assistants,"

"How tall are you?"

"Five feet, six inches,"

"How old are you?"

"Twenty and a half years old,"

"Mane, color?"

"Blonde,"

"Why did you come to Equestria? What are your intentions?"

"We weren't trying to come here. One minute we were home; the next was waking up in a jail cell in our undies. As for my intentions, I got nothing,"

"Do you know how you got here?" This time, Celestia asked.

"Can't say; we were all crashing in for the night. Although, if I had to guess, I'd say the wicked old witch picked us up instead of Dorothy,"

"Who is this, Dorothy? And what witch are you referring to?" Shining asked.

"A fictional character about her getting transported to a mystical land of wonder and exotic creatures!" Donnie played up his explanation with extensive hand motions. The Royals were less than assumed.

"This is your final warning! If you deviate again, then this conversation is over! Then, you and the other humans won't see the light of Celestia's sun again!!!" Shining Armor threatened.

"Hey, that story fits with the circumstances here, but whatever," 

Celestia frowns as she looks down at her orb. 'No reaction at all. Let's try something else,' Celestia looks back to Donnie. "Are you angry about the current events? Do you hate us for your possible imprisonment?"

"I wouldn't say angry, but a little annoyed. And I can't say I hate you guys because of a lousy first impression,"

"How is it your home can disable our magic?" Cadance asked.  

"I don't know. But I don't think it works very well since that purple one got the one-up on us," Shining Armor looked at Donnie bitterly for that little quip.

Again there was no reaction from the orb. Celestia was about to dismiss Donnie when Luna spoke up. "Pray thee, Donnie Crews. What doeth 'Extra THICC' mean in the proper context?"

Luna allowed a slight smirk when she saw Donnie slip out of his chair. "Um, nothing, just a little inside joke...!" As expected, the ball glowed brightly from Donnie's words.

"Look at that, a lie," Cadance said with a smirk. She instantly joined in with Luna's line of questioning. "Does that phrase has something to do with a mare's asset being a certain size?"

"N-no!!!" Donnie started to stutter as the glow did not fade.

"Doth thou find curvaceous females arousing?" Luna asked before following up. "Doth thou find our sister simulating to thine loins?"

"OBJECTION! RELEVANCE!! OBJECTION!!!" Donnie barked with a massive blush on his face. Even he knew that telling a woman; who tickles your fancy after the first meeting gets you a free visit to the dentist's office. "This line of questioning is breaking the no deviation rule!!!"

"That rule only applies to you, not us," Shining Armor chimed in again.

"Indeed. Now provide your answer!" Celestia said with an edge to her voice and a blush.

Sweat was now pouring from Donnie's brow. "I-I mean. Yes, I like a certain body type, and you're not unattractive!"

The orbs glow dimmed a bit, but the light remained. "That was only a half-truth! Do you find me desirable enough that you would do anything to have me, even if it's against my will!?"

Celestia's tone was stern as she asked a loaded question. Cadence and Luna were quite disturbed by it. However, Shining Armor remained impartial. It was heavily implying that Donnie would resort to sexual assault. And Donnie did not appreciate that one bit. All at once, his blushing and embarrassment stopped. The cheerful demeanor completely vanished. He sat up straight and leaned forward to better stare into Celestia's eyes. His glare was so intense that Shining Armor nearly drew his sword of instinct while there was a subtle twinge of mana building in Luna's and Cadance's horns. Celestia was calm, but her ears moved back slightly before she prevented them. The staredown continued for a time before Donnie spoke.

"No!" There was nothing but seriousness coming from his voice. "I would never do something so horrible to anyone or anything, and neither would any of the others!" Everyone except for Donnie looked back at the crystal ball and saw that the glow had faded entirely. If they were surprised, Donnie didn't care at the moment. When Celestia looks back at him, Donnie raises his hand. 

"What is thine question?" Luna asked.

"That earlier question, the one about you turning me on? You were ten. Now you are a five-point five," 

Celestia stared back at Donnie impassively before she spoke again. "You are dismissed. Sheriff Handbook!"

The sheriff entered the room hurriedly while wielding a crossbow, ready for use. "Reach for the skies!"

Donnie does as instructed before looking over to the Royals. "Hey! He was talking to all of us," He said.

"Stand down Sheriff Handbook. The interview is over. Escort Donnie Crews back to the cell and bring another human," Shining Armor said with authority. 

Sheriff Handbook nodded as he approached him and pulled Donnie out of the chair. Donnie gives the Royals a wink before the door closes behind him. "That question was inappropriate, sister," Luna said bluntly.

"But necessary!" Celestia replied.

"Will we be asking all of them these questions, even the fillies?" Cadance asked. Her words betrayed her features. There was clear disapproval in her tone despite her neutral appearance. "The truth-seeker didn't react during that last question,"

"Are you proposing we take humans' word on faith alone?" Celestia asked, glaring at her niece. "It is, as the humans said. We cannot judge them all on the merits of a few!"

"The same can apply to us!" Cadence nearly shouted. The sharp turn of Celestia's head and glaring eyes quelled Cadance's outburst.

"We're just thorough, Cadence, that's all," Shining Armor said in a soothing tone.

"Then, why does it feel like we've already made a verdict?" Cadance asked softly.

Celestia was about to respond when the door opened, and the eldest human walked inside. He was the most aged-looking human among the group. This human was the only one among the group dressed in full clothes — a black blazer with a matching tie and pants covering a purple undershirt. His only accessory was a monocle resting over his left eye. Shining Armor straightens up as the human sits down. "We'll be asking you a series of questions. You are not to deviate or go on tangents. Doing so will reflect poorly on you and the other humans. If you have a question, then you must raise your hand. State your name, gender, relation to the other humans, and current place of residence?"

"My name is Yu Chen. I'm a man. I hold no blood relation to any of the young masters in the other room. I am the butler for the house of Kingston,"

"How long have you been with them, the Kingston's?"

"Approxitemitly twenty years now,"

"How old are you?"

"Forty-five,"

"Mane, color?"

"Black,"

"How tall are you?"

"Six foot, three,"

"Why did you come to Equestria? What's your purpose here?"

"Our arrival was beyond our control, captain. As for my purpose, it is the same as it has always been; serving the occupants of Kingston Manner,"

"Art thou cross with us for thine treatment thus far?" Luna asked.

"I cannot say I agree with your methods, but I understand the precautions with the little information I've gathered so far," Chen stated.

"What information have you gathered?" Celestia firmly asked.

"Despite this potential being an alien planet, humans have come here before us. Unfortunately, I assumed relations had come under strain until a breaking point, most likely resulting in casualties. That result has soured human/equine minglings to the point of ongoing grudges and prejudices,"

"It isn't within Equestria's customs to carry hatred for any species. We value friendship and tolerance. You're misinformed," Shining Armor said pointedly.

"Then what do you call our earlier encounter within the cells, captain? Is it standard protocol to issue death threats to your prisoners?"

"What!?" Cadence exclaimed in shock. 

"My guards acted accordingly to a perceived threat to our kingdom. Are you going to pretend that none of the humans weren't provoking them?" Shining Armor said.

"Are you going to allege that after being forcefully relocated, your feelings toward the ones responsible would be cordial?"

Shing Armor frowns deeply. "You haven't answered my question!"

"That's because you are fishing for a favorable answer against my person,"

"Ok!" Cadence chimed in again. "Let's move on to a different topic,"

"Would you say that you find the females here attractive?" Celestia asked. "Perhaps you would--"

"No!" Chen's reply came so suddenly that Celestia was left speechless. She blinked a few times before he continued. "I haven't sought romantic attachments for the past twenty years, and I do not intend to break that streak,"

Cadence couldn't help but feel sadness for the man in front of her. Along with her aunts and Shining Armor, she watched the orb for any reaction. There was none. "Very well, Sheriff Handbook, send in the next human,"

As the sheriff moved in, Walter raised his hands. "What is thine question?"

"It's not a question, more of a statement; while the young masters are overbearing, you will find that they are nothing like the humans you've known," Yu Chen stands up from his seat and calmly exits the room.

"He is well-mannered," Cadance said.

"Indeed. Age often does bring wisdom. Although, that human bears a young visage for his age," Luna said.

"I don't like it. That human spoke as he knows about how military protocols worked..." Shining Armor said while wringing his hands.

"Do you want to question him about it?" Cadance asked.

Shining shakes his head in response. "I doubt we'll get anything out of it. Besides, it would only distract from the issue now,"

"I beg to differ, captain. Many moons have come and gone since the last human emergence. Their methods of violence may have only evolved. You may question the human known as Walter later," Celestia said.







[Three hours later - Celestia's POV]


I sat there, rubbing my temples, as I had called for a break after the latest interview. "Thou seemed stressed, sister," Luna said.

"In more ways than one, Luna," I replied. 

I could hear Cadance goggle at my frustration. "Was it the screenings from Leopard, Juliet, or Xavier?"

"Xavier Kingston. Age; twenty-five, Six feet tall, Silver mane, older brother to Cecelia and Natalya, works as a fashion designer, and obstinate," Shining Armor said.

"He's a bit like Chen in many ways, but that's what one should expect when someone's been in service," Cadance said.

"That means we have to watch him just as carefully. You can tell from a glance that he is far more intelligent than the others. None of his answers were lies, yet they were all too standard for my liking,"

"Clearly. We will need some safeguards to ensure our subjects' safety," I said. "Another danger is Leopard,"

"Leopard Crews. Twenty-five years old. Six feet, ten inches, blonde, blood relative, and older brother Donatello and Juliet. His statements weren't descriptive at all about himself. All of his answers were in short singular responses,"

"Even so, we shouldn't press them further than a general question. Tension is too strained right now to ask about more personal boundaries," Cadance said. "I feel like Juliet is the reasonable one,"

Shining shifted through the papers we've collected again. "Juliet Crews. Age; nineteen, five feet tall, blond mane, intern chief, youngest sibling to Donatello, and Leopard Crews," Shining grumbles as I arch a brow at the display.

"What troubles thee, captain?" Luna asks.

"I can't say I am a fan of her glaring at me during the entire process," Shining Armor said.

"She did bring up a good point at the end," Cadance said, causing my captain to turn to her. "We can argue the semantics and ethics of the guard's behavior all we wish. However, pointing weapons at two unarmed and frightened fillies is inexcusable!"

I had to resist the urge to sigh at that remark. Cadance is a sweet mare and a delicate princess. But she doesn't understand the danger the humans pose regardless of their age. "There can be no room for leeway, Cadance. There is far too much at stake," Cadance frowns at my statement but refrains from replying.

"Sheriff Handbook! Bring the next human subject!" Luna ordered.

We sat in silence before muffled yelling went off. I instantly stood up and passed the door threshold. My sister, niece, and captain were quickly by my side. The red-maned human was forcefully pushing against my guards' spears as the sheriff pulled the two fillies toward us. 

"You get your fucking stubs off of them, or I swear to god, Elmer's glue will get a big shipping deposit!" She was not alone as the other humans yelled and berated my ponies.

Stepping forward, I flared my wings while my horn shone with power. I waved my hand and pinned the humans to the wall. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" The humans appear to cringe in pain at my magical gasp. Fresh mana burns started to appear on their bodies. A small blessing that we can use to keep them in line. However, I was not going to get an answer like this. Luna and the others seemed disturbed by my actions while the fillies cowered at my display. As I turned to Sheriff Handbook, I cut off my magic, allowing the humans to fall to the ground. "Explain!"

"Lousy primates went crazy when I pulled these two in for questioning, your highness," Handbook stated. My guards supported his claim. I was about to speak again when Juliet said again.

"You dragged them out of the cell when Natalya didn't move! They didn't want to go in alone!!!"

"Is this how your country functions? Subjecting children to an interrogation!?" Xavier shouted as he rose to his feet. 

"Silence, monkeys! When the Princess issues an order, you obey!" One of my guards said. 

"Guards! Stand down!!" Cadence ordered sternly. My guards complied with a modicum of reluctance.

"Mayhaps thou should relinquish the foals, Sheriff," Luna suggested. 

The edge in my sister's voice left no room for debate, coupled with the steely glare Cadance was sending. The stallion made Sheriff Handbook comply. All humans stood again and were ready to push past the guards. Their expression said the same thing; protect the young ones. I looked back at the fillies in question. They were both uncertain about what was happening. For a moment, I felt a ping of guilt well up within me, but I cast those feelings aside. From their appearance, these two fillies are ten years of age, at least. That would be sufficient time to mold any ideologies into the mind of a young one. My guards are so cautious toward them because of the imagination of a foal. A creative mind can do anything, even devise the cruelest torture methods. They fear their display can all be a well-crafted act. As that thought crossed my mind, my eyes widened as if this act could be a ploy to escape. Before I could act, Cadance approached the tiny humans. 

"Hey there, I'm Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. But you can call me Cadance," She said with a bright smile.

The fillies looked confused before Cecelia spoke. "You have a weird name,"

"Why is that?"

"Your name means I love Cadance, so every time someone says your name, they're saying they love you,"

Cadance holds her hoof to her muzzle and giggles behind it. "Impressive. There aren't many ponies that know what that means. Who taught you that?"

"My brother,"

All of us turned back to Xavier. He was no longer pushing against the guards. However, he stared intently at the exchange with his clenched fist. "Do you mind if we ask you some questions?" Cecelia proceeds to go silent as she looks back at the other humans. Cadence saw this and made an incredible deal. "How about this; I know the best cake shop in Canterlot. I'll bring that cake here as a reward for assisting us. How's that sound?"

Surprisingly, neither of the fillies was receptive to Cadance's offer. "That sounds like a bride," Cadance's' smile fell at that while several of the humans snickered at the remark. "Besides, I am not supposed to accept sweets from strangers that wear pink,"

"Ooh!" Donatello and Juliet said. Cadence flinches back as if Cecelia dealt her a huge blow.

"W-what? I would never lie to a foal! And what's wrong with the color pink!?"

"All the greatest villains were pink. Look at Majin Buu. He's big, scary, and pink!"

"Mayhaps we can remedy this plight," Luna said as she summons her magic. The light fades as a very familiar delicacy rest in her hands.

"L-Luna!?" I asked in disbelief.

"Behold, the Keto cake!!!"





My eyes widened at the sight of my desert offered to somepony else. The fillies gawked at the magnificent pastry as the sweet aroma filled the room. My heart sank further as Luna cut out three slices and handed two of them to Cecelia and Natalya. "A most scrumptious confection, personally crafted by our best chief for our sister," Then Luna did the unthinkable and bit into my cake. I felt my muzzle quiver at the sight of my sister enjoying my cake. 

Cecelia and her sister seemed conflicted and looked over at their brother. He sighs and gestures for them to eat. My heart took another blow and entered into a free fall as the tiny humans took tentative bits before devouring the slices whole. "Wow. Can we have more?"

"Only after you answer our question," Cadance reminded. The tiny human seemed unsure before Cadance continued. "I promise you're not in trouble, and no harm will come to you or your family," Cadance pauses as she glares at Sheriff Handbook and the rest of my guards. "You have my word as a princess of Equestria," Cadance's words seemed to reach the humans as well, as they were visibly relaxed, although some were still on alert.

"Verily. Let us commence," Luna said as we returned to the sheriff's office.







[Cadance POV]


Everything settled down as we sat down. Cecelia and Natalya were still joining their cake, much to the dismay of Auntie Celestia. I wanted the chiefs to make a brand new cake, but I had to admit that Auntie Luna's method was more efficient and funny. The fillies were licking their little digits as I smiled. "Alright, now we can start. Tells your names and age, relation to the humans?"

"Our names are--"

"Actually," I glanced at Auntie Celestia as she finally spoke up. "We already know your names by now - Natalya and Cecelia Kingston - and I can guess by size that you are both ten years old, correct?" 

They both nodded in response. "I'm older by one minute and ten seconds!" 

I smile a little at the frown from Natalya. Celestia nods in response. "We can also summarize that your only blood relation is to Xavier, while the others are friends. So I believe we can skip those questions. I would like to know how you two are feeling about your situation,"

The fillies glanced at each other before Cecelia spoke. "It's not very good..." The hesitance in her voice made me want to go over and hug them. "That guard pulled Nattie's hair and squeezed my burn marks," I felt a swell of anger rise within me after hearing that. The guards all know the standard for treating foals. "And now we got a criminal record..."

"You don't have to worry. None of you have a criminal record," Shiny chuckled. "I promise to talk with my guards. For now, do you both dislike ponies?"

Natalya was silent while Cecelia shook her head. "No. Some of the ponies are mean, but others are good. You all can do magic, so there are good ponies. And if magic is real here, that means all the fairy tales are real! Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy!" I had no idea what these creatures were, but seeing so much enthusiasm from a supposed monster was fun. "What can you do!?"

"I am the Princess of love. I can look within the hearts of anypony that share even the smallest affection for one another. You'd be surprised at how many ponies have trouble confessing their feeling, so I help them along," I said with pride.

Both fillies were stunned at what I shared with them. "That's so cool!! You're like Cupid, the angel of love!"

"I don't know who this Cupid is, but I have a feeling we'd be friends instantly,"

I beamed with joy as we were finally making some progress. "What can two you do?" Cecelia asked Aunties Celestia and Luna.

"We art Princess Luna! We hold dominion over the moon! We art the guardian of dreams. Thou can rest soundly under the night sky!" Auntie Luna beamed with pride before she paused while looking at Celestia. "Our sister wields the sun and governs over the day. A mundane duty, but somepony must carry the burden," I had to cover my muzzle to stop giggling out loud as Auntie Celestia sent Auntie Luna a sharp glare.

"My unique talent is erecting powerful shields and defending Equestria's safety and values as captain of the solar guard. We are an elite branch of the EUP military that answers directly to Celestia herself!" Shiny puffed out his chest as he closed his eyes and tilted his head upwards. It is not often that my Shining Armor swells up with pride. But when it does happen, well, sometimes it's hard to tell if the moon is eclipsing the sun or Shiny's ego. "Not to brag, but I am the youngest captain in Equestrian history! I--" I decided to stop him by tapping his shoulder and pointing to the fillies.

The girls were too busy shielding their ears from Auntie Luna RCV to hear anything. Shiny's ego immediately deflates while Auntie Luna sends them a bright smile. Once they recovered, Cecelia and Natalya stared at her before speaking again. "So, you're like Batman and a good Freddy Cruger. And you're Superman!"

"Who is this Batman, Superman, and Freddy Cruger?" Shining Armor asks.

"Batman is a superhero that beats up bad guys at night. Superman is a hero that gets his power from the sun and beats up bad guys during the day. And Freddy Cruger visits you in your dreams, then kills you,"

"WHAT!?" All of us exclaimed at that. 

"You mean that this Cruger pony gives other ponies nightmares about dying, right?" I asked.

"Nuh-uh, he's a man that swore revenge on the parents of Elm Street for burning him alive to protect their kids. So Freddy goes into their dreams where they can't fight him," I grew more and more horrified as Cecelia continued. "His theme song is one, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four. He's at the door. Five-"

Auntie Luna suddenly stood up while flaring her wings. Magic shone in her eyes as she had a snarl on her face that would scare away a pack of manticores. "ENOUGH! WE SHANT LIKE A MALIGNANT PRETENDER THREATEN THEE OR OUR SUBJECT! WE SHALL FACE THIS FREDDY CRUGER THAT DARES DESECRATE THE DREAM REALM!!!"

Cecelia looks confused at Auntie Luna's declaration. "Freddy Cruger isn't real. He's make-believe," Natalya nods in agreement while we visibly relax. 

"Oh. Tis was good for him, then. We wouldst trounce that fiend post-haste!"

"Humanity created a fictional character that attacks and slays foal? That is very concerning," Auntie Celestia said.

"I am sure it is all in good fun. We have some horror stories as well," I said, trying to dissent my aunts' thinking. "Although, I do not feel like fillies like yourselves should be reading about a monster like Freddy Cruger!"

"You don't read Freddy Cruger, silly. You watch it. We have all the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. You can come to our house if you want to see it,"

Auntie Luna looked determined, whereas Shining and I weren't enthusiastic about the idea. Auntie Celestia still had the same air of indifference to the topic. "There is something that just came to my attention. Natalya, you haven't spoken a word at all. I know it's clear Cecelia adores ponies and our abilities. But how do you feel?"

Natalya tensed up as Cecelia leaned forward, "She--"

Celestia quickly raises her hoof to silence the girl. "I posed the question to your sister," Cecelia shares a wary glance with her sister before Natalya looks back at us and shakes her head. Auntie Celestia arches a brow before narrowing her eyes. "Perhaps I should be clear; these interviews are not sessions for playful banter. We are evaluating if your kind can peacefully co-exist with our subjects. We cannot do that if you remain silent," Natalya didn't respond. Instead, she shields her eyes using her bangs. Auntie Celestia started to lose patience. A rare and worrisome sight indeed. She stares down sternly at Natalya while Cecelia looks on helplessly. It was at that moment that I started to hear sniffling. I instantly left my chair to comfort the filly. 

Rearing up, I turned back around and glared at my aunt. My flares out slightly as I stand firm. "Princess Celestia. We all agreed not to press these fillies. We've got everything we need from this meeting. It's time for them to return with the others!" I motioned for the girls to leave their seats. But not before handing them the rest of the cake, much to Auntie Celestia's dismay. The fillies were ecstatic about more sweets as I led them outside.







[Shining Armor POV]


I watched the three pass through the door as I sighed. "I knew I should've left Cadence at Canterlot. She is young and emotional. She can't judge these humans impassively," Celestia said.

"I don't know what to think about any of this. My training as a guard has enabled me to recognize threats. But nothing overly suspicious is showing up," I looked over to the Princess to gauge their reactions. 

Princess Luna nods her head at my basement "We would have to agree with you, sir captain,"

"That is a mistake I made in the past. You said as much yourself, captain, There is nothing outright suspicious, but there is suspicion, correct?" I was hesitant at first before I nodded. "Then we shall remain vigilant. However, we must bring this to a close. Sheriff Handbook! Please bring Prince Cadance back along with the final human,"

We could hear the clopping from Cadance's hooves before she entered. She looked nervous for some reason as she sat back down with us. I was about to ask what was wrong when the final human came inside—the red-maned mare with the attitude of a dragon finding their hoard getting pillaged. The look on her short muzzle told me plenty; this conversation would not be pleasant. One of my guards supplied her with the pants she wanted, but they obviously couldn't fit as they slagged down from her waist.

"Alright. Let's begin--"

"Angela Nyx. Five feet two inches. Twenty-six years old. Scarlet hair. I work with Richie Rich. None of the dorks share my blood, and I bet they are singing kumbaya, my lord, every day for that blessing. Now that the survey's over let's stop the bullshittin'," 

None of us had any words for that. I had a feeling that this human would be the group's troublemaker. Angela approaches the chair before turning the seat towards her. She sat down with her arms over the head of the chair while resting her head on them. She did nothing but stare at each of us while we stared back. Nopony said a word for what felt like hours until Princess Celestia spoke. "I don't care for your tone or your crass language. You will conduct yourself with some manners, and you will respect our authority!"

That seemed to have done the trick for about ten seconds before Angela started laughing. "Fuck. I needed that. Respect? Manners? If you're looking for model behavior, bring anyone else back inside. I got two personal rules I fucking live by; One: Never comprise yourself. The worse kind of people is the ass-lickers that sport a shit-eating grin! The types that throw away their pride for the next serving of a shit sandwich while saying it tastes great," I felt a lurch in my stomach from this human's colorful language. Cadence looked ready to puke right now, while the Princess looked perturbed. "Number two: Respect isn't free. You either earn it or suck some cock and lick some clits to gain the praise-- anyone that has to ask for it secretly likes taking it up the ass like a dime-store cum-dumpster. Do you want my respect? Take that dick out of your big shithole and earn it!"

To the nopony's surprise, Princess Luna stood up and flared her wings. "THOU DARES TO INSINUATE SUCH DEBASE DEBUTCHERY UPON OUR BEING!? WE SHALL HATH THINE TONGUE SCRUBBED RED WITH SOAP BEFORE SLITTING THE MUSCLE TO NEVER SPEAKETH AGAIN!!!! We--" All of us shielded our ears from the Princess's volume save for Celestia. Angela did the same, but I could see the self-satisfied smile on her tiny muzzle.

"Princess Luna!" Celestia called out. Princess Luna calmed down but shot a baleful glare at Angela. Celestia turns back to Angela. "You must not care for the other humans if you are willing to condemn them from your actions,"

"Spare me the guilt trip. You already decided to lynch us the moment you came into this shithole. I'm sure we're not going to be prancing around like Tella-tubbies. So why act like it? It's written all over that glare," Angela said.

"You presume you know what I am thinking?"

"Ya got a problem with us, and you sure as fuck got a hate boner for humans. I can see where you're coming from, though. A lot of the people I've met generally turned out to be bastards and cunts," Angela points her digit to the door behind her. "Those straight and narrow dorks out there? There are some of the disgustingly nice and forgiving people I've had the displeasure of knowing," 

"And where do you fall in these categories? It certainly sounds like you are taking advantage of their goodwill," I said.

Angela shrugs at my comment. "Hey, I'm an unapologetic, street urchin, gutter-mouth, alpha bitch. I've told them many times, but they still act like a bunch of saps. That hardly matters. I don't know what you all expect to hear from us that might change your biased mood, nor do I give a rats ass,"

This time Cadence spoke up. "I realize you have a right to be upset. But we were merely taking precautions. As Twilight said, the last humans that visited performed unspeakable acts. We want to make sure nopony is in harm's way,"

"Right, right. Let's make sure the horse people are safe because everyone knows that once one group of people start acting like dumbasses, then fuck the rest of them, right?"

"Ponies are not nearly as malicious as humans. Peace. Love. Friendship. Tolerance. Forgiveness. These are the virtues that form Equestria's foundation," Celestia stated. I gave a short, firm nod as Cadence smiled. Princess Luna was sending Angela a smug grin.

"Nice sales pitch," Angela said dryly. "I would buy that if some dumb fucks didn't kidnap out of my house with fuck all to wear, thrown in prison for being a human, and interrogated and threatened by a bunch of Barney-rejected sperm tissues. I got shit to do today, so if you're going to kill us, then do it,"

It was a rare occasion to see Princess Celestia visibly display her feelings. Watching them close her eyes and count to ten was unnerving. Anything could happen at this rate. But even some pony as experienced and patient as Princess Celestia must have their limits. Having an offensive human attack our honor and integrity would wear on a ponies mindset. I couldn't see the point of being this disrespectful. It only reinforces everything we know about humans. Meanwhile, the Princess opened her eyes as she addressed Angela.

"I believe we have everything we need. Sheriff! Return Angela with the others while we deliberate!" Celestia said.

Angela got up from her seat before Sheriff Handbook came inside. She gestured with her two middle digits as she left the room. I've seen griffins make that same gesture, which got a frown out of me. "What was that gesture?" Cadence asked.

"A display of vulgarity, Caddie. It's not something for polite conversation,"

"We do not like her...!" Princess Luna seethed out.

"And it is safe to say she doesn't care for us, and with good reason," Cadence said.

"We should press for more information. The guards must bring in that Angela displays all the signs of the street thugs and gang members on occasion. But I doubt she'll be that forthcoming given her attitude..."

"That is a pointless endeavor, captain. With the high tension, we will not gain any additional information. That said, I believe I know where we can go from this juncture," Celestia said as she laid out her plan.







[Julie's POV]


We were all back in the cell again after Angie came back. Everyone wanted to know what happened when Princess Luna yelled. I don't think I ever heard anyone shout so loud. A crack formed on the window above me, for Pete's sake. But judging from what she said, I knew Angela decided to be herself. She returned with a satisfied grin as she told us everything about her interview. I may not like our situation more than she does, but pissing off a foreign leader is moronic. Regardless, I held my tongue. The last thing we need is to validate any anti-human assumptions against us by arguing with each other. We were all sitting downing and eating the cake the twins brought back. It was delicious! I wonder if I can somehow get the recipe. 

"This is delicious!" Cecelia hummed in joy.

"I know, it's better than that puke cake you made last week," Donnie said. 

He just had to bring that disaster up. It wasn't my fault someone left Ipecac next to the cake mix. I huffed as I took a bit of the cake. Then, my mouth exploded with flavor. I closed my eyes and moaned in bliss as I spoke. "Leo,"

There was a soft thud next to me as my brother squealed in pain. "Ow!"

"Be nice," Leo said flatly.

"I pass on the consumption of sweets this early in the morning; thank you very much," Xavier stated firmly.

"You want to order takeout?" Donnie said as he got up and faced the guards. "Hey, we want to make an order. I'll take two eggs over easy with two hash browns. Leo, here, likes his eggs scrambled with a slice of toast and grits--"

"We want pancakes and orange juice!!!" Cecelia exclaimed while Natalya nodded fervently.

"I am partial to loose-leaf tea, if you will," Chen added.

"I want five strips of bacon will three sausage links. If I see a single scrap of burnt, I'll feed you your balls!" Angela requested/threatened.

"And Xavier is above us simple pleasants and wants an omelet," Donnie finished. That earned a frown from Xavier while all of us snickered.

The ponies looked at each other before breaking out in laughter. "You primates will be lucky if you're severed gruel, let alone breakfast. Amusing the princesses, don't send you to the gallows first!"

"Then thou hath the wrong impression of us," The voice the teenage Princess stated. She walked in front of our cell along with the three other officials. "We hath come to a decision!"

"Should we start on our last will/testament?" Donnie joked. That earned him another jab to the shoulder by Leo.

"Nay, jester! We hath decided that thee will undergo isolation for a predetermined amount of time. From this period, we shall examine thee for potential diseases, fully explore thy homestead, and determine any hazardous elements!"

"So we go from forceful detainment to house arrest and experimentation?" Xavier asked indignantly. He was right, though. That hardly sounds like an improvement.

"I ain't nobodies fucking lab rat!!!" Angela seethed out. The pink Princess then steps forward.

"Rest assured that we will not do anything invasive, nor will any of you suffer ill-treatment,"

"So the kidnapping and throwing us in cells was just your way of saying hello? Right, got Ya!" Donnie said with a coy grin and thumbs up.

The guards moved toward us again, but Cadence stopped them. "If we get past this tension, then we need cooperation on both sides. No off-collar comments and mockery. And no threats!" 

"Pardon me, Princess, but what is the point of a quarantine? You've already been in contact with humans, and you are fine. And there are no weapons stocked against your people within our home," Chen clarified.

"We haven't said that we expect to find weapons. I find it peculiar that you would mention as much," Celestia said.

"You implied it," Leo said, much to everyone's shock. "You can see our home. There's nothing to hide,"

"Oh, fuck that!!!" Angela exclaimed. She marches up to Leo and pulls him to her face. My brother towers over her, but that glare she sent didn't inspire confidence. "You're going to sit there and tell me that you're ok with these dipshits lording over us!? What happened earlier wasn't enough for you? You need them to dress you up in drag and say your pretty before the butt-fucking occurs?"

Leo didn't say anything while all the ponies had trouble reattaching their jaws from the ground. I had the good sense to cover the twins' ears when I saw Angela move to my brother. Leo himself was utterly calm about getting cussed out. He put his hand over her wrist and spoke firmly. "Ang!" Leo stares intently into Angie's eyes. Leo doesn't talk much, but it's usually something meaningful when he does. Plus, Leo and Donnie know Angie better than the rest of us. 

It seemed to work as Angie's features softened a bit, and she let Leo go. "Fucking surrounded by pansy-ass idiots-- letting just anyone dictate how you should piss and shit!"

Celestia then looks at Angie as a frown appears. "However, Angela Nyx. You shall remain here for the remainder of the day. We found your colorfully vernacular and irritant attitude very concerning. We believe one day of isolation might help you rethink this mindset,"

"Yeah? Fuck you too, bitch!" I sat back and groaned as Angie flipped all the ponies off the bird. We should've expected her to make trouble.

"The quarantine is twofold. While going through the obvious testing, we will need that time to draft your citizenship forms. There is no determining how long you are going to be here when none of you know how you came here in the first place,"
Cadence said. Many of the guards were beside themselves about her proposal.

"You would hand us citizenship?" Xavier asked skeptically. The pink Princess gave a firm nod. "And all of you agreed to this?" It was not so subtle jab at Celestia, who - for her credit - ignored it. "How can you expect us to trust people we do not know?"

Cadence then walks up to the bar and extends her hoof. "I see this meeting as a way to dispel all the negativity surrounding human/equine relations. I swear on my title as a princess of Equestria we will work to earn each other's trust. But only if you all are willing to meet us halfway!"

Xavier took this time to look at each of us. Donnie and Leo seemed wary about it. Angie flips the bird while turning away. Walter gave him a nod when their eyes met. I was still uncertain about everything and looked down at the twins. Nattie was more reserved and didn't answer, while Cecelia nodded like a boggle. Xavier sighs before turning back to Cadence. He reaches through the bars and grasps her hoof. The guards all tensed up again but showed restraint for the first time today. I hope this action wasn't going to be a mistake. But if it means getting out of this cell, we can take that leap of faith. Looking over to the ponies, all of them were of mixed reactions. The guards disagreed with a shake of their heads or gritted teeth. The excellent sheriff scoffs at the idea while muttering something to himself. Shining Armor smiles at Cadence but looks conflicted. Luna was indifferent. The hardest to read was Celestia. I would never want to play poker against her. Why did she change her mind when she was confident that all humans were monsters? Who knows?

Cadence then smiles and claps her hooves together. "Alright! Let's get this thing started by getting you all home!"







[Kingston Manner - Xavier POV.]


The walk back home was without incident-- Mostly because the town's inhabitants avoided us like the plague. Some pulled their overzealous children away while others closed the blinds to their windows. I believe the only reason there wasn't a full-blown riot was the contingent of guards accompanied by their rulers. I speculate that they think we are captives. It's challenging to agree against that assessment. At least I could say that Cecelia and Natalya found the walk pleasant. Their eyes sparkled with wonder at the vibrant colors and various equines. Although seeing ponies flying is mystifying, it will take some warming up before I can marvel at it. Upon reaching the mansion, I half expected to find it razed to the ground. Thankfully, it stood tall and unmarred. I tried to quiet down the sense of urgency I had grown within me. We'd been away from the mansion for a few hours, and it was midday. Grandmother should be awake. I hope she did not independently venture outside into an unknown area. My worries were proven false as the faint sound of music was playing through the doors. Confused, I grabbed the door's nob, and what greeted us was a shower of confetti. The pink pony from earlier was here with my grandmother, seemingly waiting for us. Before I could formulate a sentence, Celestia spoke.

"There is another human?" Her tone was sharp and accusatory. "You all saw fit to omit this crucial fact,"

"To be fair, you never asked us, so it's more of an oversight on your part than negligence on ours," Donnie shrugs. I had to resist the urge to pinch my nose.

"Hey, everypony! Welcome to your welcome to Ponyville surprise party!!!" The pony said.

"Xavier. I didn't know you scheduled a party planner. Although, I don't know why you chose a costume party in this weather," Grandmother said.

All of us were at a loss for words. Looking back at the Princess, I knew this was putting more pressure on her patience. "It's a bit more complicated than that, Grandmother..."
> Chapter V
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Kingston Manner - Nancy's POV.]


I was standing in the main foyer while staring at these strange people. "Would any of you like to inform me as to what is happening? Xavier? Why did I find this young lady in the halls?" I gestured to this strange pink woman. The more I looked at her, the more I believed Donatello put her up for a prank. She was wearing a pony costume or something - with a very poofy pink mane. This outfit had bright blue eyes that seemed almost life-like, but they were too big to be a part of the costume. Her clothes were regular at least: A white shirt with short blue sleeves with matching jeans pants.

"I told you already, Miss human. I'm throwing you all a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! And I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie, but my friends call me Pinkie Pie!"

"I understand that much, dear, but we don't live in this 'Ponyville' you keep mentioning. We're in the New York state suburb of Upper Montclair. I've never even heard of the place you are talking about at all,"

I must say Pinkie Pie - an imaginative name -  smile grew so large that I thought it would absorb her whole face. It must be a new feature they added to costumes recently. It was a bit unnerving, to be honest. "Nope. You're in Ponyville! A place full of ponies and not so many humans. Actually. No humans. If I had to guess as to why you're here, some unknown force took you away from your planet as part of some big scheme to settle a social stigma about humans and restore some semblance between our two species,"

I didn't know how long I was staring at this woman, but I was beginning to wonder if I had entered senility. "An "unknown force," you said?"

Pinkie Pie shrugs as she answers. "Probably Faust,"

"Who?"

"Psst. The creator, silly. The author of life and all things harmony. Oh, wait. You probably wouldn't know that. Ok, in the beginning--"

"Laughter. We informed thee that further interaction with the human abode is prohibited! Thou shalt return to thine activities elsewhere!" The blue woman said. Why was she speaking Shake Spherion?

"Aww. But I had to make an apology party with the welcome to Ponyville party. Oh! That reminds me..." I couldn't grasp what I saw next. Pinkie zipped out of the foyer, and she brought a mobile create that sprung to form a music box in the time it took for me to blink.





I couldn't form proper words as Pinkie slid in front of us. She was more energic with her bouncy and singing than either Cecelia or Natalya after a sugar rush. Where did she pull out that big drum and trumpet? I could feel the silly hat on my head as I found my voice again. "Miss Pie, where--"

"Wait for it..." She cut me off as a compartment opens on her music box and shot out confetti, blowing the hat off my head.

The only sound left in the hall was the clapping from Cecelia. "Again. Again!!!"

Pinkie seemed to match her excitement with a broad smile. "Ok..."

I saw this woman's mouth extend to absurd lengths as she took a massive air intake. But I cut her off. "No, dear, that is quite fine. Walter!" My butler was in front of me in an instant. "Explain this for me so that I know I am not dreaming,"

"It would appear that we are indeed in a foreign land. Through methods I cannot fathom, something relocated the entirety of the mansion. We may no longer be on Earth, let alone in New York State. These 'people' you see around us are not humans but humanoid equines," Walter explained.

I looked between him and the so-called equines before pulling his head to mine. "You don't seem to have a fever. Is this a prank? Donatello, how'd you convince Walter to partake in this ruse?"

"Me, convince this prude for a prank against you; I'm not a miracle worker, Mrs. K," Donatello said.

I wasn't finding this joke assuming anymore. "Young man. I will not entertain this stunt anymore. It is hilarious, but you can drop this act now,"

"If I may, ma'am..." I turned to the other pink woman as she stepped forward. "I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. These are my Aunts, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I believe I can dispel any disbelief in what we are. Please try to remain calm," 

I was about to say something to the 'princess' when the appendage on her forehead started to glow. I looked on in wonder before some rattling went off behind me. A golden, shimmering cloud covered her form. Slowly, the princess floated over to me. I saw Cadenza tilt her head down and land right into my hands. I was dumbstruck. I began feeling around her hooves for wires or projectors, but nothing was there. Cadenza looked amused at my expression, while my kids looked concerned. Without a word, I stepped back from the princess. 

Her smile was still present, as was my disbelief as I reached out to her. The other ponies didn't like that. I caught several of them drawing their swords and lightning their horns, causing me to flinch back. However, a sharp glare from the princess made them back off. Cadenza smiled at me again while holding out her hoof. I use the term hoof loosely. It was more like a pink-furred tube. But I treated it as if it was an average horse's limb. I ran my fingers up and down her forearm slowly. Next, I traced the edge of her hoof with my fingertips. This arm was far too intricate to be a part of a costume. A smile appeared when a funny idea popped into my head. I took my two fingers and began circling the frog at the base of her hoof. This move got the reaction I was looking for, the coy princess giggling at the simulation. 

"Hehe, that tickles!"

"I've had practice," I pull away from her hoof while adopting a stoic demeanor. "So you are not lying. You are a different species?" Cadenza nodded. "And you're royalty?" She nods again. "What exactly are you here for other than the obvious?"

I seemed to hit a swore subject as the smile on Cadenza's face fell. At that time, Princess Celestia steps forward. "We are placing you and the other humans under quarantine for the foreseeable future to determine if you are suited for interactions with my subjects. Humans have been to our lands before, and the results were far from harmonious. I am sure you understand that I will not allow history to repeat itself!"

I arched a brow at the tallest princess. "Is that why my family is with you now? They were gone when I woke up. It makes no sense that you walked in with them in tow if you placed a quarantine over our home," I glance at the twins, then Xavier and the others. All of them had several bandages on their person. "Why are you all hurt?"

I am sure everyone heard the edge in my tone. It wasn't hard to deduce what was happening right now. A police force and a foreign leader entering your home with your family member is a daunting sight. My kids are in trouble. All of us are in a situation. And there will be more trouble if my children were hurt. Celestia spoke with unabashed clarity to my question. "I ordered my student to investigate the sudden appearance of your mansion. I cannot say what happened when the two parties met, but my student subdued her attackers. After that, my student brought the other humans to the sheriff's office, where we initiated an interrogation before coming to the quarantine solution,"

There was nothing in that explanation that didn't raise my ire, but I remained cordial. "So, if I understand you correctly, your student - under your orders - enters my home without consent. Then, she proceeded to attack, injure and kidnap my family for questioning. And now we're are being put under house arrest for an indefinite amount of time that I imagine won't end without your say so..." I was no longer hiding the contempt in my tone and openly glaring at all the equine people. Some of them had the sense to look away with a modicum of shame. Others held fast, their princess emboldening their position. "Why go along with these theatrics if you've already deemed them a threat?" There was a brief, subtle twitch in the elder princesses' eyes. She wore that mask of anonymity well. But I knew how to reach those types. Even so, I had to pay close attention to her reaction. I can tell that Celestia has more experience reading people and masking emotions despite her youthful appearance.

This time, Princess Luna approached me. "Thine suspicion and paranoia are well-founded, Madam Matriarch. Tis true, our meeting with thine kin was unideal for two unsuspecting parties. The injuries are a result of a magical mishap. Young Sparkle had no prior knowledge of thine sensitivity to magic," Celestia glares at Luna for name-dropping her student. I know of a future conversation Sparkle will loathe. "As for the quarantine. Tis a temporary detainment until we can produce thine citizenship to Equestria,"

Turning to Luna, she appeared to be a teenager, yet she spoke with an old soul. "How long will that be? A day? A few months? Twenty years from now?" I said.

"Two weeks at minimum, one month at the latest," Pinkie said, much to the ponies' confusion and dismay. "What?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. Once I felt more composed, I clapped my hands together and smiled. "Right then, I imagine setting up a quarantine will take time, so why not a 'proper' tour of Kingston manner!"

Many of the guards present scoffed at my idea. Each of them grumbles their disdain for my apparent lack of manners. However, one of them was bold enough to voice their complaints. "As any sane pony would want to walk into a feces-riddled dump like this!" He had chestnut color fur with a red mane. The smile on his face told me he was pleased with his little quip. However, I will not tolerate disrespect in my home.

"Corporal Blitzkrieg!" Cadenza shouted.

"It's fine, Princess Cadenza. This dump cost more than you would make in a year, Corporal," The look I got from the boy was priceless. "Now, let's begin. I am Nancy Kingston, and this is Kingston's manner!"

"Oh!" There was a flash as Pinkie pulled out a camera. Where she got it, I will never understand.

"This building stretches over 10.4 acres with 20,000 square feet. There are four main wings to the mansion, each with basic living utilities," I said as I began to move. Walter was by my side instantly. "There are over twenty rooms inside this structure. A built-in pool, a pen for May, and the latest in furniture,"

Going up the stairs, I started with our bedrooms. Based on the ponies' reactions, they were not expecting such a large room. I picked my girls' room first, figuring there wouldn't be anything amiss with stuffed animals. I found it odd that there were two lumps in Cecelia's and Natalya's beds, but I dismissed it. This room, as well as others, are one hundred square feet and twelve by fourteen in width,"

"Is there such a need for all this space?" Luna asked.

"Personal space, Luv. There won't be any scabbling over boundaries in this home," Before we could move on, we all heard Pinkie Pie squeal.

"Whee! These dolls are amazing!!!" We looked back into the room to see Pinkie cuddling my twins' dolls. "What's your name, Mr. Froggy?"

"No! You're doing it wrong!" Cecelia quickly ran back into the room and took the frog from her. "Miss Kermit likes cradle hugs like this," She said as she held the plush doll like a baby. Cecelia hands Miss Kermit back as Pinkie mimic's her.

"Like this?" The pink mare asks. "Shush now, little froggy, don't say a word. Mama Pinkie is going to make it all better,"

I chuckled at the two of them. "That is enough, children. We must be off," The two pouted at me as they put the stuffed animals down. The next stop was the kitchen. Sadly, the state of it was a proper mess. The blender lay broken in pieces, the fridge wide open for who knew how long. And my cheesecake looked like wolves mauled it. I took a closer look at some handprints on the tray. 

Sadly, I didn't get the chance to question my grandkids. "Nice kitchen. Should we wipe our hooves? I don't want to ruin your table," Blitzkrieg said, earning a snicker from the other guards and a disapproving glare from Princess Cadence and their captain.

"Hey! Our kitchen is always the best! Walter does such a good job that you could eat off the floor. Just ask her!" Cecelia stated while pointing to Pinkie Pie. 

Judging by the bashful smile, Cecelia was telling the truth. "Interesting. How did you know Miss Pinkie Pie was in the kitchen, Cecelia?" It is such a joy watching her freeze up like that. I walked over to the tray and presented it to the group. "If I recall, it was Donatello that ate my cake. Except, there are two small handprints on the tray. Fancy that," By this time, I turned and faced my grandkids with the tray and the evidence facing them. "Cecelia. How did you know Pinkie was eating my cake?"

"Um..." I shouldn't enjoy it this much, but catching these kids in lies is too much fun. Cecelia's eyes dart back and forth while Natalya bites her lip.

"Because if Pinkie came in with her friends when we're usually sleeping, that would mean two naughty girls were up before anyone else sneaking some treats,"

By now, both of my girls were sweating quite profusely. It only gets worse when Cadenza reveals another tidbit. "How underhanded! I gave you that cake out of good faith!"

"What about me? These two tried to set me up!" Donatello reminded us. Cecelia and Natalya had the decency to pretend to look ashamed.

"You're an easy mark. Quit your bit-- whining!" Angela wisely corrected herself. 

"Can we move this along!?" Blitzkrieg complains.

"Patience is an acquired skill that all soldiers must learn. Sadly, some failed to do so," Walter said.

The young Corporal got into Walter's face as he snarled at him. "You trying to say something, monkey!"

"Corporal! Reign. It. Back. Now!" The captain stated sternly.

"Perhaps we should continue elsewhere," Celestia suggests.

Pinkie Pie began frantically waving her hands - excuse me - hooves to gain my attention. "Wait! Before we go, you should throw out those rotten green peppers in the fridge. They tasted bad!"

I arched a brow at this while inspecting the fridge. I took out the food in question and gave it a sniff. "There's nothing wrong with these, dear. This food is from yesterday evening,"

Pinkie pie shook her head in protest. She leans in and glares at the green pepper. "No way! I'm telling you, there's something off about that thing. What's it made of anyway?"

Juliet went to respond before me. "They're called stuffed bell peppers. That's green peppers hollowed out to make a hoster. You can put anything you want into them. This time, I chose ground beef,"

All at once, the bright, vibrant colors drained from the ponies around us, and a pale green came into its place. The reaction makes sense considering they were all herbivores. Poor Pinkie Pie ran to the nearest trash can and emptied her stomach. Although, I should've expected our diet might be cause for contention. All at once, the guards leveled their spears at us again. Corporal Blitzkrieg thought it wise to aim the spearhead at my face. " You see, captain, these apes are here for less than a day, and we already have casualties!"

"Casualties?" Cecelia asks. "What's that?"

"Don't play dumb, you murderers! How many cows did you butcher!?"

"Are we talking daily or in between meals...?" Donatello began, but a sharp look from me stopped him.

"I think I know--"

"Enough of your lies!!!" The Corporal hollered out. To my shock, this short-tempered pony reared back and thrust his spear at my face. The blitter and Walter had already moved his palm into the spear's shaft. The spear tip spun in the air as Walter grabbed the broken stick and pulled it towards himself and the Corporal. He sweeps the hooves right from under the red and brown pony while pushing against his chest plate. I doubt the Corporal had time to grunt in pain before Walter grips the broken pole and points it under Blitzkerigs muzzle. "Wha--"

"Captain!" He addressed Shining Armor. "This manner has rules: No cussing. No disputes. No violent altercations. We settle matters through polite and civilized conversation." Walter leers down at the Corporal with disapproving eyes. "If I may, Miss Kingston, these guests have been the worst thus far,"

I wanted to correct my faithful butler, as Kingston senior still holds that record. But I never got the chance as the rest of the guards converged on Walter. "You are under arrest for assaulting a royal guard!!!"

"Human scum!"

"Let's shipped them to the Everfree!"

"No! Throw all in the dungeon, never to see Celestia's light again!!!"

The more this prattle went on, the more agitated everyone got. Julia thankfully kept the twins close to her. The four men of the house stayed guarded. Luckily, before things could escalate further, the sun princess spoke with absolute authority. "Enough!" Her voice seemed to bounce off the wall of the manor. "All guards are to wait within the main foyer until told otherwise!" The guards all raised their objections to that order. Shinning Armor remained quiet and had a look I'd mistake for shame. "Are you defying your princess' order?" I don't know whether it was the tone of her voice or the realization of their mistake, but the guards filed out of the room faster than I could blink. The high princess turned back to me and bowed her head slightly. "Please excuse them. There have been enough misunderstandings today. Rest assured. Those guards will face the consequences of their conduct. I promise you this,"

A scoff went off from the side of us as we saw Donatello rolls his eyes. "Save it for the press. I don't feel like getting spoon-fed bullshit from a politician,"

"You seem to be under the wrong impression. Here in these lands, Equestrians follow the covenants of harmony. That means we are honest with our words, promises, and oaths,"

"An honest person in politics? Ha!" Juliet scoffs. Even I had to scoff at the thought.

Celestia held a thoughtful expression before she smiled. It was unnerving to see something so perfect yet layered with hidden intentions. "Thank you for the insight on human politics. I've learned much from your projections," She claps her hooves together as Angela is ready to erupt. "Shall we continue?"







The high princess took the tirade in stride, thankfully. She looked more confused at some of the words spoken, although I saw her flinch back at the horse comment. At any rate, the tour continued to the living room. Pinkie Pie quickly stood in front of the tv and mistook it for a mirror. I saw an opportunity to have some fun and went for the remote. The Samsung logo came on screen with dramatic fanfare. The look of shock and awe was adorable. I would've enjoyed showing some TV programs, but I didn't want to wait. But perhaps the strangest reaction the ponies had was toward May. Princess Celestia and Luna looked disturbed, while Cadenza shied away from May. Pinkie sat there and stared. Her already large pupils grew more prominent the more eye contact was extended. Then - although I have some difficulty saying this, Pinkie and May rear back on their hind legs and let out a whinny, flailing their forelegs at each other. Afterward, Ms. Pie pets her on her muzzle - the horse nuzzling into her touch - and returns to the group. I think it's wise to dismiss Ms. Pie's antics for the sake of sanity.

The tour concludes just in time for the quartine staff to arrive. The guards all stood at attention for their royal charges. None of them spoke a word - even the Corporal read the room and kept his muzzle closed. There were several ponies in the traditional hazard suits. The only healthy ponies were a chestnut brown stallion wearing a green bowtie—a purple pony in a schoolgirl's outfit. And a lime green pony wearing a white shirt and beige shorts. The three of them seemed to be in worlds of their own. The stallion looked around the manor with child-like wonder. The purple mare had her eyes glued onto the clipboard and didn't acknowledge anyone. The lime green mare honestly had me worried. She didn't stare off into the structure or glare into a clipboard. She stared right at us with wide eyes and an even full grin. She was fiddling with her hooves together while jumping in place. The brown stallion finally noticed us and stretched his foot out.

"Greeting--"

That was all he got to say as the lime green mare appeared before us in a flash of green light. "I'M LYRA HEARTSTRINGS!" 

"What the hell!?" Leonardo just earned a week of service. But then again, that bright flash blinded all of us.

I finally got the spots out of my eyes to see Ms. Heartstrings standing before me. This pony was setting off more than one red flag, but one must remain polite. "Hello, I'm--"

"A HUMAN! YOU'RE A HUMAN!!!"

I was now more uncertain about this mare. "Yes, I am. My--"

"You're a human, with a nose and mouth instead of a muzzle, feet in place of hooves, and hands!" Ms. Heartstrings grabs my hand and rubs her cheeks on it. "These glorious human hands!!!" Ms. Heartstrings' eyes sparkled in fascination at my digits. 

It wasn't until the chestnut stallion placed his hand on her shoulder did she stop. "I can understander your passion, Ms. Heartstrings, but we should probably finish our introductions," The stallion usurers Ms. Heartstrings to the side as she bowed to us. "I go by Doctor Whooves or Doc for short,"

"Oh, are you a medical doctor? Perhaps a doctorate?" I asked.

"Not at all. I have what many would call life experience. I've been around the block a few times in my travels. I've met many creatures on the road - help a few of them too - and therein comes the name 'doctor.' My giddy colleague is a cryptozoologist. An expert in exotic and mythical creatures such as yourselves fancy that," Ms. Heartstrings was nodding her head enthusiastically at his words.

"Yep! Anything about humans, I would know. Much like you would know - being humans - I can't wait to share what we both know!!!"

"You know anything about humans being cannibals?" The voice of the Corporal rang out.

I don't think I've ever seen a beaming smile change so quickly outside of a show on Tv. Ms. Heartstrings address the Corporal's barbs with a firm tone. "That is not true. Humans are strictly omnivores. Their diet includes grains, fruits, vegetables, meats, legumes, and protein. That is essential to a healthy human metabolism,"

"That's true," Xavier spoke, standing next to Ms. Heartstrings. "The meat we consume provides precious protein our bodies need to operate. Observe..." Xavier opens his mouth wide to display his teeth. Both the doctor and Ms. Heartstrings looked gobsmack at them. "As you can see, we have small fangs for biting into meat--"

"Pause," Donatello blurted out, earning a smack to the head from Juliet. "Oww...!"

"--And molars for grinding and chewing. However, we do not murder other sapient beings for nutrients!"

"That fridge full of mutilated body parts says different!" Corporal Blitizkeirg hollered.

"Corporal!" Captain Armor suddenly said. "Since you have such strong feelings about this, I want you to lead an investigation. Check every farm with animals to see if any have been missing since last night. Dismissed!"

The Corporal seemed delighted at the order and left in a hurry. I am thankful the blitter was out of my home. "Well played, captain. A bit crass sending your subordinate on a pointless task, but even I found his presence grating,"

"Um, pointless?" Cecelia asks.

"Eee! Human foals!!!!" Ms. Heartstring squeals. She quickly brought the twins into a hug and nuzzled their faces before staring at their hands - much like she did mine.

Doctor Whooves smiles down at my granddaughter. "Why yes, little one. The only farm with animals omnivores would consume is Sweet Apple Acres. But the Corporal doesn't know that plus - to fill your refrigerator full of them - would take multiple trips back and forth. A feat that will not overnight without notice,"

"Oh! He's going to be mad," Juliet said.

"Indeed. Back on topic..." Doctor Whooves gestures over to the lavender unicorn who hadn't taken her eyes off her clip this entire time. "This fine mare is-

"Hey, Twilight!!!" Ms. Pie shouted, appearing right in front of her friend, I gather.

This mare, Twilight, finally took her snout out from the clipboard. "Pinkie? What are you doing here?"

"I'm trying to throw an apology/welcome party, but nopony will let me!" Pinkie said with a pout.

"No surprise there. This building is under quarantine, Pinkie. These ponies are here to make sure there are no harmful elements that could adversely affect the populous," She's well-educated. Ms. Twilight got a proud look as she held her muzzle up high. "I'm here to offer my expertise. As Princess Celestia's faithful student, I've studied many books on varying subjects. That includes Processor Foot Note's book on humanity. See," 

"The Cautionary Guide to Human Behavior," 

"That's right. I've studied all ten volumes in depth. Granted, it's a little dated - given the last update was nearly five hundred years ago - but the information is accurate," Ms. Sparkle started to beam more as she spoke. "I'm sure my findings will prove most helpful during--"

"Cough-cough *Bullshit* cough-cough!" Donatello feigned. "What?"

Twilight deadpans at Donatello's outburst. I silenced the immature man with a glare before turning back To Miss Sparkle. "What dear Donatello means to say that none of us are comfortable with the situation,"

"Gah! There was another human here?!" Ms. Sparkle exclaimed.

"That's Miss Nancy Kingston! In this house, we give others proper respect! It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sparkle,"

Ms. Sparkle looks uncertain but responds accordingly. "Um, hello, Miss Nancy Kingston,"

"Oh, Please, just Ms. Kingston. Now that the formalities are squared off, would you kindly leave my house? Thank you,"

The ponies here gasped out in shock while Ms. Sparkle fumbled her words. "W-What? But I'm a vital member of the quarantine! You can't kick me out!"

"Are you telling me I do not have authority in my home? Correct if I'm mistaken, but isn't the purpose of quarantine to ensure there are not any harmful diseases to the general population?"

"Well, yes, but it's also to keep other harmful elements away. This encounter is the first time any pony has interacted with humans in centuries. You could have a slew of unknown pathogens on you,"

"If that's the reasoning, then everyone not in a hazmat suit is already infected, yourself included! Unless the word 'quarantine" is an excuse for house arrest!"

That statement gave Twilight pause. "Even so, Princess Celestia ordered the quarantine, and she had reasonable cause to do as such. She tasked me with helping gather data around your kind,"

I stop myself from raising my voice at this girl's blatant hero-worship of the princess behind me. "That's hardly fair - judging others for past action we never committed - while every other blitter is free to do as they please to us,"

Ms. Sparkle gained an offended look. "It isn't like that! This situation may not be ideal, but it is a precaution! I realize you may feel like we broke the law under your definition. But here, in Equestria, our laws differ from your country,"

"Then tell me this: Is it against the law to enter someone's home without their consent?" Ms. Sparkle appeared lost on what to say. "How about forcing someone out of their home while injuring them in the process? Did Princess Celestia order you to do that as well?" Ms. Sparkle began to fidget the more I challenged her argument.

"I am an element of harmony. I have to act if there is an immediate danger to the welfare of any pony in Equestria. Furthermore, you and your family are not legal citizens of Equestria. There is too much of a grey area surrounding your sudden appearance,"

"That may be true enough, Ms. Sparkle," Doctor Whooves interjected. "However, Nancy is correct. Foalnapping and Assault are serious crimes recognized by the country and crown," I saw the doctor glance over to Ms. Sparkle with a disapproving frown on his muzzle. "As for the issue of citizenship, any creature can apply provided they go through screening,"

Princess Celestia seems to frown slightly at the doctor. "The humans will be able to apply for citizenship after the quarantine. However, operating under my behest grants Twilight and her friend immunity from any liable offenses," She didn't miss a beat using her authority. "As we stated before, we have no idea who did what when the two groups met,"

Ms. Diane suddenly appeared before us as she spoke. "It kind of hard to make out in the dark, but then I remembered my night vision glasses I got from Rocko cereal box," She pulled out said glasses from her mane. "Rarity was over here, hugging Fluttershy. Applejack trips and falls on the couch. Rainbow was wrestling with a couch pillow for some reason. I bumped into Spike a few times with my flanks. The foals were crawling on the floor with her," Diane said while pointing to Juliet - whose blush convinced me was it the truth. "Twilight was screaming like a filly blindfolded. The big guy there was standing in the dark, looking cool. And the red-head and blonde guy were practicing their thigh hugging,"

Donatello went pale as I dared to speak. "Thigh hugging?"

"Like this..." Without warning, Diane and Donatello were on the ground with the pink mare sitting on his hips. 

"What the fuck?!" Juliet shouts before covering her mouth. Leonardo arches a brow at the scene.

"Swear!!!" Cecelia reminded. 

Ms. Sparkle retook notes, whereas Ms. Heartstrings tilted her head in confusion. She looked like she wanted to ask a question, but I cut her off. "Regardless of who did what, you still broke into our home. If you operated under government sanction, there was no reason not to be cordial. Ms. Diane was the only one to attempt to give an apology. Have you done the same?"

Ms. Sparkle looks between the princesses and me. "Ok. I am sorry you feel my conduct was unbecoming--"

I held up my hand before she could finish. "Young lady..." My tone was probably harsher than I wanted, but it conveyed my point. "I am in no mood for any patronizing, half-hearted apologies. If you are sorry, then respect my wishes, and leave my home!"

Twilight wanted to protest, but Princess Cadenza spoke again. "It might be for the best, Twilight," Her ears quickly flopped to the side of her skull. It was something May did when she was feeling sad. I guess ponies might share qualities with horses.

"Fret not, my faithful student; you will not be idling in the dark. You will be in touch with any information the hazmat crew obtains," Princess Celestia stated. That earned a scowl from Angelia, but she held her tongue for now. "It's time we took our leave. Captain Armor. We must discuss new guard postings around the manor. I do not wish for any unauthorized ponies to get curious," She turned to us with a polite smile. "Hopefully, we can move past this dreadfulness and achieve perfect harmony,"

"You sell that on a gift card? Because I can tell you now that some false advertisement," Donatello said.

To our surprise, Celestia kept smiling. "Despite the circumstances, it was nice meeting all of you," And with that, the four princesses and  Captain Shining armor left.

She was about to leave, but Ms. Heartstrings stopped. "Wait, Please! I have to interview you!"

"Bite me!" Angela flips the bird. I was adding another week of maid service.

"I'm afraid she right, Miss?" Instead of responding, Angela gives the doctor the finger. However, to our surprise, Doctor Whooves laughs. "Ah, Ms. Flip-me-the-bird, a pleasure to meet you,"

"You know what that means?" Juliet asks.

"As I said, I am well-traveled. If you wish to know more, we can start a dialogue,"

"While you all do that, I'm going to get some things for the party," Pinkie Pie said









It was well into the evening now. All of us were in the living room, waiting for the surprise Diane promised us. The hazmat crew had come and gone out of the manner. I can hardly call any of those equine professionals. Whatever they didn't break was thrown about all over the place. The real treat was when they saw May for themselves. Before, I never thought I would see someone suffer an extensional crisis, but today has been a proper bother. They returned an hour later but avoided May's stability like the plague. The interview was better this time around. It's a wonder how cooperative someone is without being interrogated. Ms. Heartstrings was overzealous but pleasant. Dr. Whooves was respectful and courteous. 

Ms. Heartstrings poses a question about why our skin tones were different. That went into a discussion about other races among humans. We didn't go into full details, just the general reasons for skin pigmentation, such as different climates and continents. Dr. Whooves asked about our family structure. It was an easy question; I was the head of the household. Walter and Xavier are often my delegates. They both keep a calm mind and a logical approach to everything. Leonardo is stoic, rarely speaking, but is quick to act in defense of others. Donatello is the goof with a good heart. Though, I wish the boy would take some things seriously. Juliet is a sweetheart and the most sensible out of her brothers. Angela is abrasive to anything and anyone, especially authority figures, even toward me at first. It's not a surprise the princess confined Angela to a holding cell for the night. Thankfully, she'll be back with us with they start their physical examinations. I'm not looking forward to that spot of annoyance. Anywho, it was almost time for Dian's surprise.

The mare in question came into the room, pushing a cart with a tarp over it. "What's that?" Cecelia asks.

"Oh, it's Sugarcube Corner's new hot menu item!" Pinkie pulls the tarp away to reveal a silver tin. She lifts the lid to reveal a delicious sight. "I present to you the Sweetie glazed strawberry cake! This little number has eight glazed donuts on top of rich strawberry icing and rainbow sprinkles. It's guaranteed best-selling product for every birthday party and social shindig!"





"More like guaranteed to give you diabetes..." Xavier commented. 

Pinkie served everyone a slice of cake as she spoke. "Oh! Diabetes. What's that? Is it good? Can I have some?"

I could only blink at that statement. But I suppose an equine wouldn't know about human disease. "No, Diane, it's not something you can eat," I said.

"CAKE!!!" Cecelia shrieked as she and Natalya rushed toward the cake.

I was having none of that! "Cecelia. Natalya. Pause it!" The two flinched at my tone as they looked back at me. "You two little deviants have had enough cake for today!"

Both the girls glance at each other. "But-"

I held up one finger, making them flinch again but silencing them all the same. "You will make up for sneaking around by helping Walter clean up the mess our previous guesses made. Then, and only then, will you have this cake for dessert tomorrow!"

Walter came into view on cue with a broom, dustpan, mop, and other cleaning products. He also applied two masks to the kids' faces. "Hold on; we'll help too!" Miss heartstrings stated.

Doctor Whooves pauses mid-bite as he looks at Miss Heartstrings. "We will?"

"Yes! With everything that happens here today, I think it's only right that we clean up after ourselves!"

"Oh! Good idea!" Pinkie said. Looking over at her, I saw she was already in a maid outfit. "We got to have a clean home when Angie is back for the party!!!"

"I feel kind of bad eating at home while she's spending a night in a cell," Juliet said.

"Hmmph! Don't worry. She is probably raising a big stink right now," I shot Donatello the stink eye for talking with his mouth full.

"Um-hmm," Leonardo agreed.

"Oh, pish-shaw. I already gave Angie a slice,"







[Sheriff Office - Detainment Cell - Handbook POV.]


I sat back on in my office while rubbing my temples. After the princesses brought that red-mane she-devil back, she threw a fit. Now, usually, I would quickly educate our guess against such behavior and leave as quiet as a mouse. But the princess warned these monkeys were carrying fleas or something. Everypony, myself included, will have to get swabbed down by hazard ponies first thing in the morning. I am talking about the whole shebang, scrubbing, hosing, rinsing, all of it. It isn't right. I tell you what. I run a clean prison house, not some pigpen that got hit by a wild Everfree storm! Now, I'm watching this human acting a fool in my cell.

"Now look here, missy! Your back here because that mouth runs fouler than a skunk bucking a corpse! I won't have you hooting and hollering like a whimper bat!"

"Fuck this shit, pan!"

*CLANG*

"Fuck this bed!"

*POMF*

"And fuck you!!!"

After tossing her utilities, She pointed two claw digits up toward me. Now, I've had the displease of keeping griffon company, and I learned what that their gesture means. "Fine then, you little harlot, keep on acting a fool. My mother always says a dirty room is the mark of a swine-ridden, dirt-laden soul!"

"Your mother eats dicks and shit clits, fucker!"

I took out my knife stick and slammed at the bars. "You keep my mother's good name out that pie hole, or I'll be requesting to transfer you to Canterlot. I hear their jail cells are fit for animals like you!" She made that gesture again, and I left her to it. It would be a trying day, and I still have some spirits in the drawer.







[Angela POV.]


The horse-face dipshit finally left, and I sat down. I thought about wrecking some more of this stupid shit-hole cell, but I was getting tired. Looking around, I could break out of here easily if I had my switch army knife. But if I'm back at the house tomorrow, it's better to wait. I was about to sleep this stupid day away when I noticed a tray in the corner. Opening it, I was staring at a fucking cake. There was a card sitting on top of it with some writing inside.



"Dear Angie, Hiya. I'm Pinkie Pie. We met when my friends and I broke into your home and kind of/foalnapped you and your friends. Then, we met again in your cell. And we'll meet again, again tomorrow! Only this time, the nopony will pass out unless they're too tired to get up from all the partying we're going to do! I wanted to tell you that the other hue-mins are safe and that I'm sorry I can't give a proper Pinkie Pie welcome party until tomorrow. I mean, seriously? That's practically a crime in itself. Please enjoy this delicious, super tasty, Sweetie glazed cake on me!

Your soon-to-be friend, Pinkimena Diane Pie!"



"...The fuck is this...?" I looked at this cake for a minute before sitting with it. One of those dickheads might be fucking with me. I was hungry, and it beats prison food, so I took a bite. "...Damn! Is this cake what crack tastes like?"
> Chapter VI
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[Kingston Manor - Main Foyer - Xavier POV.] 


I always complained about my morning routines. Having a wash and brush and getting dressed tends to lose its appeal after the hundredth time doing it. Now, I sorely missed those simplistic and mundane moments. The usual routine was uprooted by technicolored equine in hazmat suits and a very angry Angela Nyx. The sheriff had her wearing one of those straight jackets that binds her arms to her abdomen and muzzle over Angela's mouth. I suppose that was a good thing. She would undoubtedly earn a lifetime of made service with all the obscenities she's currently saying. Leonardo had to physically restrain her for the guard pony to release her restraints. However, it did not prevent Donatello from cracking one of his well-crafted, perfectly timed jokes about Angela's plight. 

"Watch out! Here comes the Hannibal lector!"

Angela took some offense to that joke. When free, she chased Donatello around for five minutes before trapping him in a headlock. The guard ponies present were less than receptive toward this behavior and, once again, raised their spears and swords. Not that Angela seems to mind as she tightens her grip. Thankfully, Leonardo separates his brother's head from Angela's grasp, and Captain armor reigns in his guardsman. I was expecting to see the princesses again. Instead, the pony Mrs's heartstrings were clinging to that could've been her twin, except with a blue color scheme. At the same time, Doctor Hooves escorted another chestnut-brown stallion inside. Pinkie graced us with her presence again. Although, I doubt what sort of expertise you could bring today. No one seemed to be stopping her, so I'm assuming it's something. Shining Armor then pulls out a scroll and reads it out to us.

"Here is a royal decree from her majesty Princess Sol Celeste Inferna. The humans will undergo a series of full physical assessments to determine their health and ensure they have no unknown pathogens that could prove fatal to ponies. These tests will include a blood sample, fluid testing, and height and weight measurements. Here, the ponies are esteemed professionals in their craft and will handle the examination carefully. Captain Shining Armor will be stationed at Ponyville with additional guard ponies to secure the mansion's perimeter. The guards will pertain units from the solar and lunar regiments so that the manor is secure for both the day and night cycles,"

"So, basically, we're being watched twenty-four-seven like a detention center, got it," Leonardo said. All of us frowned at that bit of news.

Shooting a glare at Leonardo, the Captain continued. "Furthermore, given our poor first encounter, I would like each human to engage in a friendship report. What that entails is that whatever experiences you've had in friendships - both old and new - I would like to hear of them. You can have your reports delivered to me via dragon fire. To do this, speak with my faithful student and her assistant. This method will allow your reports to be sent directly to me. However, please visit the mayor's office or Captain Shining Armor for assistance if you have any complaints. I will not appreciate any vulgar wording or pranks. Dragonfire messaging is strictly for royal administrative and confidential purposes, with few exceptions. I hope you understand the amount of privilege I am granting. May the tenants of harmony shine upon us all. Signed Princess Sol Celeste Inferna,"

"That horse sow can't be freaking serious!" Angela stated. Many of the ponies blanched at that remark.

"The princess' terms are more than reasonable," Captain Armor said with extra emphasis on her title.

"Anyone noticed how she still wormed us into interacting with her faithful student?" Juliet noted. That got a frown out of Grandmother. 

"Oh, come on. Twilight is great and loves teaching ponies stuff. And I bet Twilight can't wait to be your friend, too," Pinkie Pie said.

"Spike is the only one to produce the Dragonfire that leads directly to Princess Celestia. He won't do it without her majesty's permission. Twilight Sparkle and Spike are both members of my family. So I expect every letter exchange to be civil," That was a surprise indeed. I would not have pegged Ms. Sparkle to be his Sibling, let alone a dragon's relation to ponies. Although, I don't care for that veiled threat. Neither did Walter.

"We'll be sure to extend the courtesy your younger sibling did not afford us, Captain," Walter said with an edge of his own. 

"How is that dragon, your brother? Did your mother marry a dragon?" Cecelia asks.

The Captain glances at my sister and appears to soften his tone. Clever, I would say. "No, my mother, Twilight Velvet, is married to my father, Night Light,"

I admit that even I had trouble refraining from laughing at the name. However, what Cecelia said next nearly made me bite my tongue. "Oh, I get it. Your mother had a dragon sugar daddy that scrambled her eggs. Did he say he was going to the store for milk? I heard people say they go to the store for a long time. Can ponies lay eggs?"

The captaiCaptain'sell so broad that it almost looked like it would hit the floor. As expected, Angela and Donatello laughed, and even some ponies failed to hide their snickering. Grandmother pulled Cecelia to the side as the CaptaiCaptained. "No! He's adopted!" The captaiCaptained his head to his subordinates and silenced them with a glare. "And ponies do not lay eggs!"

"Because they have boobies?" Cecelia said, earning another round of snickering.

"Thank you, Cecelia," Grandmother said firmly.

"Actually. The term you are looking for is mammalian, much like humans," Doctor Whooves stated. "Now that we all laughed at the CaptaiCaptain'sse. Please allow me to introduce my colleagues, Doctor Horse, and Colgate," 

"Who comes up with these names?" Donatello whispers to his brother, who shrugs in response.

"Are you two related?" Juliet asked Colgate.

The unicorn in question went to open her mouth, but Lyra beat her to it. "That's right. Say hello to my cousin,"

Shooting a glare at her cousin, Colgate smiles and politely bows to them. "It's good to meet you all,"

"Did you know you have the same name as a toothpaste?" Cecelia asks.

"I do?"

"That's not important at the moment," Doctor Whooves said with a small measure of glee. This stallion seems to know more than he should. "We're burning daylight, and the princess follows a tight schedule. Remind me to tell you later,"







[Juliet's POV.]


God, I hate physical exams. They are long, tedious, leave your arms sore, and scary. Donny always teases me for being paranoid. But it still feels like I will get bad news when I go for a check-up. But I guess the terrible parts already happened. It can't get worse. Anyway, we started with my least favorite; blood work. Dr. Horse stood in front of those medical trays with vials, tubs, and needles. A lot of those sharp and stingy needles of different sizes. One of them looks like a booster shot for, well, horses! And sure enough, that's the one the doctor picks up. I wasn't the only one shocked by this. Leo's eyes went wide, while Donny's face went pale like a ghost. None of us was expecting that to happen. The only one was Nanna, who was laughing at all of this. Since I couldn't curse, I gave her my best 'Da fuck you laughing at' face.

"Alright, who wants to be first?" Doctor Horse asked.

We all shared a look before Donny spoke. "One. Two. Three. Not it!"

"Hey, wait--"

"Not it!" Cece said, and Natty signed.

Even the alpha bitch got in on it. "Not it!" Angie said.

"Alright, enough of that," Mrs. Kingston said. "Dr. Horse. You can't expect to use that needle. It's too big for our arms,"

"Standard protocol is that shots are administered directly to the flanks. Since there are different species than ponies, it's changed to suit every creature. Besides, as the old saying goes, a nip in the bud keeps you out of the mud," Dr. Horse replied.

"Not it," Leo said after a moment of silence.

"Oh! Are we playing tag?! I want to be it!" Pinkie said. She pulled me and my brother's heads to her cheeks and smiled while looking between us.

"No, Ms. Pie. We are not playing tag, and I can solve this little dilemma. Doctor Horse, I recommend using the butterfly needle," doctor Whooves said.

Doctor horse looked confused and picked up the smaller needle. I had no idea how he managed to do that with hooves for hands, but he did. "This needle is usually reserved for precise work involving the vein. Are you saying you know these humans' biology?"

"No, Doctor Horse, that honor is reserved for Professor Heartstrings,"

"Oh, yes!" Lyra said, coming over to us. She kneels to Nattie and offers a hoof. Nattie held out her arm, and Lyra held it like a newborn baby. Her horn lit up, and she handed over her left foot. It was amazing to see. She took one finger and traced it along the vein. "See his groove of skin where the arm bends? All you have to do is gently rub the center to find the vein," 

It was then I noticed Nattie looking uncomfortable and tried to pull away. "Whoa, hey, ease up," I said.

Lyra looked confused before she looked down at Nattie. Her skin looked red and very irritated. "OH MY GOSH! I AM SO SORRY! I FORGOT ABOUT YOUR SENSITIVITY TO MAGIC! PLEASE DON'T BE MAD! I WOULD NEVER HURT A FOAL - HUMAN OR PONY!"

"It's alright, Miss Heartstrings. I can tell you didn't mean it," Nana Kingston said. She pulled Nattie over and examined her arm. "It's nothing some ointment work help fix. But, please be more mindful when it comes to my girls,"

Lyra nodded so fast that I sore the color bled out of her face or muzzle. It looked like she was bout to start crying until Nattie hugged her. Lyra hugged her back, and it was lovely. Out of all the ponies here, I'm glad the twins can feel safe with a few of them, Even if it is only Lyra and Pinkie right now. The little moment was short-lived as Dr. Horse cleared his throat. "While this is all lovely, we should begin. Although, would one of you mind finding the vein again?"

Walter came in and volunteered to help with the shots. I felt better with him administering the needle by Lyra and Horse's instruction. Plus, he has some medical experience from his army days. We all got our blood samples taken. Pinkie was kind enough to supply us with lollypops, which the twins loved. And from there, it was standard procedure. They measured our height, weight, etc. But things got awkward regarding the last stuff they needed to document. Mainly, they needed measurements of our assets and fluids from the guys. The embarrassing part came when Pinkie and Lyra showed how they take female measures.

"So, what you do is you press your teats against another mare of equal height first. Then, you take a measuring tape and measure Pinkie's chest first because you can see how much bigger she is pressing against mine. I am a standard tripled Dcup, while Pinkie has Ecups." Lyra explains that she was not half-naked in front of my brothers and every other guy. The doctors didn't seem to mind. But I could tell Donny was moments away from a brain aneurysm. I can't remember when Leo's eyes were that wide open, and Walter and Xavier had the courtesy to look out. Is every pony here a fashion model? I know horses are significant, but did that have to mean in every regard? It was like watching two squashy bowling balls press against each other! And Lyra was considered the standard? I might as well be flat-chested!

"I-is this normally how you take measurements?" I squeaked out.

"This is all standard protocol when taking a physical," Doctor Hooves said. 

"Are we sure these are ponies and not cows!?" Angie asked in an irritated tone.

"A-and, uh, how do you measure your waists?" My perverted brother asks.

"Oh, that's simple," Pinkie said as she started to take off her pants.

"Miss Diane, we should give the girls their privacy and give them our samples," Xavier suggested, 

Donny grabbed him by the collar and got in his face. "Don't you ruin this, dammit!!!"

"Swear!" Cece reminded.

"Yes, Xavier, that would be for the best," Nana Kingston said in a matter-of-fact tone. Donny looked betrayed, but Nana had looked that dared home to make a fuss. Donny grabbed a cup and headed to one of the bathrooms. The rest of the guys followed after them.

"Aw, I wonder why they couldn't stay?" Pinkie pouted with her hands behind her back.

"It's a cultural difference, sweety," Nana Kingston said.

"Oh!" Lyra came bouncy up to Nana with a note and quill. I could hear Angie growl as we watched. It's like her chest was a pair of a basketball bouncing. "Would you mean sharing? I want to compare notes between our cultures!" 

"Geek out later, Ly. We need to finish the measurements so I can check their teeth," Colgate said. Lyra rubs her head sheepishly before looking at the three of us.

"Uh, why are you looking at us like that?" I wish I didn't ask that question.

"We need your measurements, silly," Pinkie said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Looking at her, I saw that she was holding two tops. It was then I noticed how cold it was all of a sudden.

"What the fuck?!" Angie exclaimed, and I realized why it suddenly felt cold. Angie was topless, and so was I, as she stared at her chest in disbelief and anger.

"PINKIE!!!!" I screamed, covering my chest. "You can't go around stripping people!"

"Oh, pshaw. There's nothing to be ashamed of; you're a late bloomer. I'm sure your teats will come in soon," Pinkie dismissed.

"Pinkie! We're in our twenties!"

Pinkie looked at my face, down at my chest, and then at Angie, who was ready to practice her glue-making skills before responding. "Really?"

"There's no need to fuss, Julie. You're both holding up the procedure," Nana Kingston said.

I groaned while turning to Angie. She wore irritation like the next fashion trend. Her left eye wouldn't stop twitching. She started to make me more self-conscious by glaring at my chest. I'm more prominent than her. But I'm not the type to flaunt my stuff like that. And it's not like Angie is lacking, but I think she hates having her femininity thrown at her when she couldn't care less about it. I tried smiling at her, but that made her growl at me like a rabid dog. Moving my hand from my chest didn't help as the girls gave a peppy bounce that made Angie more frustrated. Thank god it wasn't cold in here. I doubt having four sets of headlights smashing into each other would improve miss stink's eye's attitude.

"...Well, no time like the present..." I said meekly.

"Tsk!" Angie sucks her teeth. 

We finally stepped forward and let the girls properly meet. I started laughing nervously as my boob flesh completely enveloped Angie's. Both of us were blushing at this point. Although, I think Angie was more out of anger than embarrassment. Lyra brought the tape out and measured us. By usual standards, I'm a double D. At the same time, Angie is a solid C. Since the ponygirls are leaps and bounds more significant than both of us, I was hoping it was no longer an issue, but Lyra had to announce the results.

"Okay, we have a flat C and a flat DD. Okay, Colgate, you're up--"

"Hold up! What do you mean a 'flat C?'" Angie screeched.

"That's the same measurements we give young mares in their teens. They are often considered nothing more than nubs before adulthood. Are you sure you're not still a teenager?" Colgate asked.

"YES/FUCK!!!" Angie and I shouted. But she added the swearing part. I think she might be on maid duty for life if this keeps up.

Colgate shrugs as we get our tops back from Pinkie. It was around that time the guys came back. Nana Kingston managed to convince the pony girls to redress. Again, to the dismay of Donny. She started examining our teeth, starting with me. "It's crazy. You have fangs that point to a carnivorous diet, but they're dulled and not very sharp as a griffon or a dragon. But they can still tear through smaller portions of meat. However, you have molars lining past the fangs, supporting a herbivorous diet. All our textbooks about humans led us to believe you were all pure meat-eaters. It's a rarity to be an omnivore,"

"In all honesty, I prefer a more vegan lifestyle," Xavier said.

"Vegan?"

"That would be a vegetarian-based diet. Certain plant foods carry the same nutrition as meat but in a lesser quantity,"

"Could you demonstrate this? It will ease many ponies' minds if they see you eating fruits and vegetables, provided once the quarantine is over and you meet with other ponies," Lyra meekly said while rubbing the back of her head. 

After that moment of awkwardness, we completed the tests. We were finally allowed to get dressed. It felt like ages since all of us had clothes besides our pajamas. I had a white blouse turtleneck with a pair of skinny black jeans. The blouse zips up two the neck, and I like the two tassels design in the front. The twins wore the twin magic you would expect. That being two frilly pink sundresses with matching wristbands. Leo joined Xavier and Walter in the gentleman suits for the professional club and wore a white shirt under a grey vest with matching pants like a valley. Walter made his best Alfred's impression with an open black jacket, white tongue undershirt, and black pants. 

In comparison, Xavier preferred the business casual look. A cyan undershirt with a zipper-up black jacket and pants. Donny likes his street look. A white long-sleeve shirt and navy blue pants with a scarf that hangs out to the left. Nana Kingston rocks the laid-back fu grandma look with an open pink brazer, black silk shirt, and grey pants. And Angie being her, wore clothing that fit her personality. A black tube shirt with cutoff blue jeans. She likes showing off her midriff, toned legs, and gaudy twin scorpion tattoos n each shoulder. But I wish she would wear the noticeable gun holster straps around her shoulders. Thank god the ponies don't have guns. We waited in the foyer again while Shining Armor explained the guard shifts.

"Attention. I would like you to meet the ponies you see a lot of shortly," Shining Armor stated.

"...Not like we have much of choice..."Donny mumbled to my right, earning an elbow to the side from me. "Ow!"

There had to e like fifty of these guards. And half of them were wearing two different color sets. "First is her Majesties Princess Celestia's Solar unit. Or day guards if you prefer. They are here during all daytime hours. Her majesty Princess Luna's Lunar unit, or night guards, will trade off shifts to cover all nighttime hours in the evening. While the Solar and Lunar are here to secure the building, they will also be here to protect you,'

"They did a good job so far. I feel so protected," Angie said sarcastically, earning a glare from all the guards while she flipped them off.

"Please keep your interaction to a minimum as they have a job to perform. I, in the meantime, will be stationed in the Ponyville barracks. Any questions?"

Cecelia was the first to raise her hands. "Why is the night guard different?"

"The night consists of bat ponies because of their nocturnal nature,"

"Why?"

"Because other ponies fall asleep at night," 

"Are they vampires?"

"No, they are not. Though, bat ponies have fangs. They do not crave blood,"

"Why?"

By now, Shining Armor arches a brow at her. "Because that isn't very nice,"

"Okay," We watch in silence as the captaiCaptaine pony, guard, and little girl stare each other down. It was hard to tell if Cecelia was doing this on purpose. It didn't make it any less funny.

"...Anything else?"

"I believe that is all, captain," I know we can't see it, but I know Walter is laughing right now.







[Later that evening.]


With all the tests finally over, nana Kingston announced that it was time to turn them in earlier. It was strange having guards walk through the halls. It was almost like having around-the-clock security. Of course, Nana Kingston never thought that was necessary. Each of us got into our rooms as the bat pony guards stood before them. Naturally, we locked them as Angie jumped on her bed, folded her arms behind her head, and glared at the ceiling. After that, we just sat there for about an hour. I wanted to say something, but the scowl told me that wasn't a good idea. After another thirty minutes, a blinking flash went off in the closet. Going to it, I moved the clothes and the hidden panel. It was a red button flashing on and off. Pressing it caused the wall to open to reveal two poles leading down. I heard Angie mutter 'finally' before we slid down them. We hit the padded mat below and walked out of the closet. We entered a large spacious room that was hidden beneath the mansion. It acts as a panic room that connects to every bedroom in the manor. It had three big security monitors for every room and hallway outside the estate. A large fridge packed with ten years of food reserves. A fully stocked bathroom. Four queen-sized beds with pillows and blankets. It even has a small armory. But Walter and Nana have a strict no-weapon rule in place. Honestly, this place is more like a bunker than a panic room.

Nana stood by the monitors, watching the pony guards before turning to us. "It's a good thing the house came here intact. The food supply is fine, and the plumbing works," Xavier said. "Has anyone tried their phones?"

"I did when we went to change clothes. No cell reception," Donnie said, displaying his phone with no bars. "Call for help is a no-go-- not that they would believe us. "Help! The wicked witch from Alice in wonderland moved our home to the land of the walking pony-furries!" It wouldn't go over well,"

"What's a furry?" Nattie signed. 

I shot my brother a dirty look that promised death if he breathed a word. "I-It's not important,"

"I say we introduce these horse-heads to modern-day tech. Maybe show them how we make glue," Angie suggests.

"No," Nana Kingston said firmly.

"Why the fuck not!?" Oh, boy. I knew this was going to happen good thing this room is soundproof.

"Swear!" Cecelia said.

"Who gives a shit! We had these horse fuckers break into our home, throw us in jail, then lay down some rules like they run shit! And you want to take in the ass like a crack whore!" Angie was going off as she walked into Nanny's face. "Fuck. That!"

All of us were silent for a time. Angie hadn't gotten in Nana's face like this since the first time she moved into the manner. I get where she comes from; the past day has been frustrating. But we can't go off on each other like this. Not that it matters, Nana did what she always did to keep us in line. She stares at us. Her eyes narrowed slightly, her arms crossed against her stomach, and her mouth shut in a thin line. And she stares a hole into us and lets us finish like we're throwing a tantrum. After a minute of staring, Nana spoke in a cold voice that I thought was a winter breeze.

"Angela! You know the rules. You have one more time to cuss in my house - let alone to my face - just one more time," I moved over to the girls as we watched. Nana may be pushing sixty, but she can throw down if needed. Thankfully, that didn't happen. Angie might be a bitch, but she doesn't fight people that look out for her. Nana walks around her to the armory and pulls out a handgun.





I could feel the twins tense up as I pulled them closer. Xavier, Donnie, and Leo were all nervous, but Walter was calm as always. I know Nana wouldn't do anything crazy, but still. "Now, let's say we go out there and bust a cap in each horse's head. Do you know what would happen then, hmm?"

"There'll be a lot of horses brought out to pasture?" Donnie joked.

Ignoring him, Nana tosses the gun in Angie's hands, making as all flinch as she caught. We all stared at her like she was crazy. Nana wouldn't suggest something like this, not even joke about it! What's going on right now? "It would be simple, wouldn't it? From what we saw of those horse-heads, they're still in the medieval era like proper dims. Isn't that cracked?"

Angie smiles as she cocks the gun back. "Now your talking!"

"Grandmother," Xavier started. "You should get some rest. We've all had a hard day--"

"Don't sass me, boy! Now, Angie, please do me a favor. " Xavier flinched and shut it quickly. However, he perked up when Nana used her nickname. That did mean someone was about to be schooled. "Point the gun and shoot it,"

"What!?" We all screamed.

"Madam, I--"

Nana held up her hand to stop any protest. Angie chose against it. Instead, she slides the ammo chamber out the bottom and looks in it. She narrows her eyes at the casing before looking back at Nana. "What's the deal? You don't keep these loaded?"

"That's good!" I said.

"That will happen if we act as a gang of street thugs. Sure, we could get rid of the guards now. But, what about the next fifty, or hundred, or a thousand? It'll be us - six adults, one of them elderly and the other never touched a gun in her life - vs. an entire country! Do you think there's a bullet for all of them? How many bullets will it take to topple an entire military? Let alone the fact that they have magic. Honest to god, the school of Hogwarts magic! You got a plan brewing besides a martyr run?" It was the first time I'd seen Angie speechless about anything. She pursed her lips before throwing the gun back in with the others. After that, she found a wall and leaned on it with a grumpy look. "You are not on the streets anymore. Blowing a hole in our problem isn't going to help. We'd be giving them exactly what they expect from us. And what have I always said?"

"Be a better example than the example that came before you," All of us droned. 

"Now, Walter. I know the power is back on, and our food isn't disturbing. Is there anything missing?"

"I haven't the time to check the household in its entirety in a day. I will have to check other areas of the estate now that we have more freedom to move," Walter said.

Angie sucks her teeth at the mention of freedom. "Oh, yeah, I love the freedom of having metal kights walking behind me at every step," Donnie said.

"We will talk with the captain boundaries tomorrow. But I want to lay down some ground rules. We are not to talk with anybody we are unfamiliar with. No one gets in without Walter or myself present,"

"Is Pinkie Pie and Lyra ok?' Cecelia asks.

"No!" Angie snarls. "She was with the group that kidnapped us. She stripped our freaking tops and made us press up together!" 

"Seriously!" Donnie exclaimed.

"Donnie!" I shouted.

Nana giggles at this. "They're both fine. While Miss Pie may have been with that Sparkle girl, she made an effort to apologize. And Lyra has been polite if a little over-eager. Lastly, we should have one person monitoring the camera each day. But use your phone apps. The ponies might get suspicious if you use the cameras down here too much. We'll watch them as they are watching us. Also, keep your phones on your person. They have a built-in tracker and emergency call feature. So we won't need an active subscription to call each other. But, the range is limited. Any questions?"

"Will we ever be able to go outside?" Nattie asks.

"Depends on how long the quarantine lasts..." Xavier stated.







[One Month Later - Donatello's POV.]


I mean, did it come as any surprise? We all know sunny princess buns would milk the quarantine time for all it's worth. And it's not like we could've filed a complaint since she put us here first. Getting a hold of her was impossible since none of the guards stationed would even breathe in our direction. They were dedicated to their job, though. They would stand all rigid at their post like the queen's guard. Of course, that didn't stop me from messing with them. I may have added itching powder where they stood every time they changed. Nothing beats eating some skittles while watching guard ponies squirming to stay professional.   But I'm getting off-topic. None of the guards told us anything regarding the waiting. 

We couldn't get in touch with captain white knight because he was in the barracks out of the house. We tried to find a way around it by saying we had those friendship reports to give to the princess, but they sandbagged us and said 'any outside interaction will violate the quarantine rules.' Which means we were stuck. The only good news was when the Blitz guy returned after his investigation. The guy was a special kind of mad. You know, the type where veins appeared ready to burst. I was able to snag a picture as he went off. Good thing they don't understand how phones work, and we kept quiet about them. Blitzy was mad that we didn't go to texas chainsaw on the locals. He raged for twenty minutes before Captain white knight had to escort him out. It was good for him because he started to forget what personal space meant with Mrs. K; Walter did not like that. Watching a grown adult shrink back like a kid was something I never knew would be funny.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, Walter finished up checking on the house. Everything was in order except for the internet. I got to admit that it hurt hearing that. How can I post images on Instagram now? What about my Twitter handle? Or my Youtube page? How can I watch all my animes? It was a nightmare! The only thing keeping me from losing my mind was that Mrs. k had an extended license on all the streaming services. But that brought along some new restrictions as to what we could watch. These ponies expect us to crack and show we're a bunch of nutjobs with an ax to grind, so violent shows were off the table for now. Of course, the guards freaked out when they saw people on the big screen. Even Blitzy went as far as to accuse us of conspiring to invade, which led to another Q&A/interrogation session by Captain Disney's Shining Armor. I have never seen Mrs. K look so aggravated. But, saying that the shows and people are not valid on repeat would wear anyone out. Thankfully, doc Whooves convinced them to chill when he said our TV shows were the same as some astral books. It works as a TV show but with magic. I like to call them MVs. None of them seemed to buy it, but Lyra said she would stop by more often for further study. But I could see the sparkle in her eyes. She took one look at the TV, and now she was hooked. Pinkie got in on the fun as well, and when the twins busted out the games, it was over for them.

And now we are playing a round of Uno in the living room. Video games were out for the time. Mrs. K didn't have time to sort through which games were appropriate, so we're sticking with something easy until she gives the okay. Around the coffee table, I, Pinkie, Lyra, Julie, the twins, Leo and Xavier. Angie is at the personal gym, and Mrs. K is with Wally preparing dinner. Double C and Nattie were teaming up for obvious reasons. We still haven't let on that Nat's a mute. How we managed to hide that for a whole month was easy enough. We'd generally make it appear like casual absent-minded motions. Back to the game, everyone was going over their cards.  

"Any pony got any threes?" Pinkie asked.

"Pinkie, we're not playing goldfish," Julies explained for the fifth time today.

"Can we go over the rules again?" Lyra asks sheepishly.

"We each start with seven cards. You got to match the colors with the card on the table. If you have a matching number but different color, you can change the table card's color. You must draw a card from the deck if you don't have the matching number or color. The main goal is to be the first one without any cards to win. Watch," Cece said, putting down a blue card with the number three. "Now you can put any of your blue cards down,"

Pinkie started to wave her hand like a kid in school. "Oh. Oh! What about these stop signs and arrows? If we put them down, do we freeze and go back in time!?"

I heard a shuffle behind us to see one of those iron ponies moving closer as if to stop the game. "Nah. The skip card skips the turn of the next person after you. The reverse card changes the order of our circle. You know, from clockwise to counterclockwise," I said. Turning to my sister, I smiled as I put down the draw two cards, making her add to her hand. "This card makes the player in the rotation pick up two additional cards, making it harder to win!"

"Argh! You butt!!!" Julie screamed.

"That doesn't seem nice for the other person," Lyra said with a cute pout.

"Hey, no one ever said winning was easy on everyone since there's only one winner. But that's the price we pay," I said.

"Very astute coming from the one currently winning," Xavier calls out like a buzzkill. Then he turned into a prick when he pulled a draw-four card on me. "You two should also be aware of the wild cards. There are two in total, and they allow you to change the color of the table card. However, as the name implies, the draw four card does force the next person in the rotation to draw four additional cards. It's the perfect card to keep the game going and improve your chances of winning," 

I see that smirk you're trying to hide! Do you want to mix it up? We can mix it up! Leo went next, putting down one of his cards. After that, Julie puts down two number nine cards, changing the color to red. The twins were up again, and those little devils put down three skip cards, skipping over me, Lyra and Xavier. I should've known they'd be a problem too. The game went on like this for a while, but I saw some cards starting to thin. Pinkie had ten cards, so she wasn't a threat. I had on a wild card and two different colors. I could win the game on my next turn. He can't have wild cards, or he would've used them. 

Then, it hit me that he must not have the cards he needs. When it got to his turn again, he drew from the deck and placed the card. It was my chance. I had a wild card and two sixes. All I had to do was play it cool and hope lady luck felt charitable. Then, I remembered that the ladies and I had never been on the same wavelengths. She laid down all skip cards and screwed me over when it got to Pinkie again. Then, Lyra puts down all the reverse cards. It went back to Xavier, who drew a draw four from the deck. Now I had eight cards again. The game went to the crapper real quick after that. Every card that was either drawn or played made it harder for me. Finally, as if to punish for something in a past life. The rotation returned to Xavier, who put down another wild card with a blue number one.

"Uno, and game. Thanks for playing," 

"All of my hate!!!" I spat. I heard Leo grunt in disappointment as he walked away.

"Aww," Both the twins looked sad as their brother hammed it up.

"Why'd you have to drop all those skips and reversals?" Julie whines.

"Sorry," Lyra said meekly.

"Oh, oh! Let's play another round or maybe a new human game! This game is way too fun!!!" Pinkie could make a kid with ADHD get tired.
> Chapter VII
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Ponyville Guard Barracks - Morning Breeze  POV.]


Another day, another morning detail with the convicts. "Hey, Morning. Ready for another day of foal sitting," I sighed as my sister came into view. I stood in front of my locker, adjusting my chest plate to my mirror. I straighten out my red mane and amber fur before putting my helmet on. "Make sure you put that on straight. You know how mom gets when her little cheery blossom comes home messy~,"

I groaned when she used mom's pet name. It's why I am always in the locker room first before anypony else. "This is a serious detainment detail, Moonlit. Honestly, I thought bat ponies took their position more seriously," 

She flashed me a fanged smile. "You call it detainment. I call being inside a lavishing and unique mansion a sweet gig. I check most of the rooms in my post. You could fit a family of twenty in there. And the beds!" Moon grips midnight blue furs as she swoons, her two-tone slier mane swishing back and forth. "I never felt anything so soft. These Hoo-mans have good tastes," 

I pinched the bridge of my snout in annoyance. "Please don't tell me you're sleeping during your shift!" 

"Ok, I won't tell you that,"

"Moonlit, we represent the crown and country. We are the first line against threats that threaten our way of life. And one of the biggest threats in recorded history is back! What if the convicts escaped while you were out? You're nocturnal, for Celestia's sake. Why are you sleeping at night!?"

"Hey, I only take a quick power nap! Besides, the hoo-mans turn in after ten. So all we're doing is watching the hallways. And quit it with all that horseshoe lady talk. Anypony with a pair of eyes and ears can see that these apes are harmless. I even caught the little foals seeking into the kitchen for some late-night snacks," Moonlit started to fish something out of her breastplate as she showed me a candy wrapper. She takes a bit of this chocolate bar as she moans. Snatching it away from her, I read the label.

"Milky Way? Are you serious? You took contraband from suspects! What if someone saw you? What if this is poison!?"

"Contraband? Poison? From chocolate? The last time I checked the reports - which had multiple signatures from well-renowned doctors - everything in that place checked out. Captain armor is supposed to be coming over to lift the quarantine today,"

"Which is why we need to be extra vigilant. Lifting the detainment could provide the humans with the perfect opportunity,"

"What? Stretching their legs? Finally, be able to see the outside?"

"To hurt somepony or cause mischief. The humans wouldn't do anything with us watching them. But, outside, where do they have more wiggle room and the ability to hide? It's just asking for trouble. But it won't happen on my watch,"

I heard Moonlit sigh as we left the locker room. "See things for yourselves before you see them from somepony else. You might be surprised. Oh, you can keep the contraband chocolate that the fillies gave me. For poison, it pretty good,"

I rolled my eyes again and decided to pocket the narcotics. You know, for safekeeping. Everypony else started to file into the barracks for the shift changes. It took some time, but the rest of the majesty's solar guard was assembled outside the barracks as the captain prepared an announcement. "Ears up Ponies, captain Shining Armor reporting," Lieutenant Blitzkrieg said.

We all saluted our esteemed captain as he stood before us. "Guards! It's time. The princesses have authorized the lift of the quarantine on the mansion containing the humans," Everypony voiced their objections, as I knew they would, but captain armor motions them to stop. "I realize none of you are happy about that, myself included, but we cannot stretch the lockdown further as per our laws. Now I know what you are thinking; humans will try something when they go outside. And you are right in thinking that. However, the humans have shown they are far more crafty than we gave them credit for initially,"

"Please, we know they're nothing but savages!" Lieutenant Blitz stated.

"Even a savage beast can be cunning every once and a while. I've read all of your reports. Despite some rampant pranks and talking down--"

"Talking down? Captain, that red-maned loudmouth takes every opportunity to assault us verbally!" But, of course, I knew who she was talking about, having been accosted by that human mare myself.

"Looks like somepony is sensitive," Moonlit whispers in my ear. 

"Shush!" I whispered back harshly.

"Yes, Angela Nyx has shown no respect for any authority figure. She is the most likely to cause the most trouble without the quarantine in place. However, she is like every common street thug we've come across before. Her antics are nothing more than her trying to bait you - to bring you down to her level - I believe members of the royal guard are above such tactics. Another human to watch out for would be their butler, Walter Takagi. I have reason to believe he has a military background. That means he may be proficient in combat. Then there is Xavier Kingston. He seems to be the group's intellectual," the other guard ponies all scoff or laugh at the remark. 

"Um, sir, what about the other humans?" I asked.

"The other four appear the least volatile, but Angela Nyx has ties with the Crews siblings, so watch them as well. The twins, along with their grandmother, are the lowest perceived threat, but I still expect vigilance. Back on topic, despite those reports, the humans haven't done anything suspicious. Then again, would any of you do something while under surveillance?"

"No,"

"Correct. Do not see the lift as a potential danger but as an opportunity. With more freedom, they'll get sloppy and relax. We'll give the humans enough rope to hang themselves. The moment they do, I want you ponies ready. The citizens of Ponyville are counting on us for their safety. Will you let them down?"

"No,"

"I said, will you fail them?"

"No!"

"I can't hear you!"

"NO! WE WON'T LET EQUESTRIA DOWN!!!!"

"Very good. Dismissed!" I walk with pride and purpose as we set out to that mansion. Whatever the humans have in store, we'll be ready! 







[Kingston Manner.]


Walking to this mansion always gives me chills. That magic dampening field around this place as ways give me the willies. As my fellow guard mates and I reached the front door, I wasn't expecting a welcoming party. "Welcome to the Kingston estate, where the human experience awaits..." One of the humans, the rude one, held the door open while wearing an outfit similar to the maids in Canterlot castle. The only difference is that their disposition is far sunnier than what this human displayed. And the matted look and monotone voice won't get me to recommend her anytime soon. 

"Sub maid, Angela. Would you please report to the kitchen? Breakfast is ready for serving," Many of us flinched at the sound of that voice. Humans developed a way to project their voices. They called it a PA system. When we questioned them about this, they said it was a part of the mansion structure. When pressed, the eldest human told us we were more than welcome to use her library to get the information. Thankfully, Miss Heartstrings volunteered to handle any more extensive research and share it with us. I only wish that she wasn't so excited about human-related content. Ponies might get the wrong idea about her. 

"I got this, Julie. Double time, Sub maid. Every minute spent late is a deterrent to your performance review. Chop, chop," One of the blonde humans said.

"I am going to wring that dork's neck!" The angry human growled before storming off. I went with her since we rotated posts within the mansion. The trip was quiet as It is typically in these halls. The only sounds were the human mare's angry muttering. But, at least that anger was on the other humans instead of the guards here. Amazingly, we've had no incidents yet. I doubt it will last after the announcement. Finally, we made it to the kitchen, where the sound of sizzling and a sweet aroma hit my snout. Looking around, it was the two human fillies with the humans Juliet and her brother along with Walter as Angela approached them.

"Aw, yes, sub maid. Do be a dear and take these fine dishes to the dining room. The matron of the manner is peckish at the moment and requires nourishment," The red mane human didn't like the blonde's tone and crushed his hand before the older human interrupted. We were all used to this behavior by now, so I stayed in place.

I looked over the tray and nearly threw up in my mouth. There were strips of bacon, Pork Bacon, on some of those plates. I also saw some sausage links. I figured I would see something like this, but there was something I found odd. On one scale were eggs, but I had never seen two sides before. Two bowls had melted oats. The twins picked them up and ran out of the kitchen. That celestial amora left the room along with them, leaving me with the lingering smell of meat. I understand why my guard mates referred to this as the worst detail. Ponies shouldn't be allowed to suffer like this!

"Hey, you want some?" I heard the blonde human mare ask.

"What?" I asked. I watched the human poor a bowl of malted oats and bring it to me.

"Here, I saw you eyeing the oatmeal earlier. I always make extra since the twins can't get enough. And I know it must be torture standing next to all this food with an empty stomach,"

I eyed the bowl longer than I probably should've before shaking my head. "I am on duty, ma'am. Eating while on the job reflects poorly on every guard,"

"That's funny. The other guards stationed here don't follow that standard. So you going to snitch on them?"

I didn't know if this human was lying or was trying to get me to sell out my friends, but I was not taking the bait. "I find that hard to believe,"

The human shrugs and sets the bowl on the counter. "Well, it's here if you want for lunch or something. Of course, it would get cold by then, so use the microwave. It's the metal box right there. All you have to do is press the start button two times. Got it? Two times. Enjoy," 

The humans all left for the dining room while I remained here. The smell of the oatmeal was starting to flow into my snout as my stomach growled. But I wasn't going to budge. It would take more than a bowl of food to break me! Then, looking over to the clock, a straw thought to put my resolve to the test. 'Lunch isn't for another five hours...'







[Dining Room - Nancy Kingston POV.]


"Thank you, Angela. Walter, how would you say our new maid is performing?" I saw Angela stumble as she set the plate down in front of Leonardo. Maybe the heels were a touch too far?

"She's a bit rough around the edges, madam. Her attitude is poor, and she has weak posture and grace. And her personality is that of a mongoose. This demeanor could improve with time, but only if you are willing to put up with her," Walter stated.

"Tell me, Sub-maid Angela, do you believe you can improve? Or, is our critique a touch too harsh?"

"..." Angela didn't say a word as she set my plate down. However, she stumbles on the way to her seat due to the heels I had her wear. I wonder if they were too much? "Fuu--" I began to frown as Angela looked my way. She rights herself and sits down without finishing her thoughts. Instead, she glared at me and started angrily eating her food.

Walter soon joined us, and we ate as we always did. You would've never guessed that we got moved to another world filled with human-like colorful ponies. But, the shuffling and light dinging of armor shattered that illusion. After breakfast, the captain had some news and wanted to tell us. Maybe, this house arrest is ending sooner than we thought. Although, who knows how things are outside the manner? I started to get lost in thought and a little hesitant. How would the locals react to us? If their leaders and local heroes were unfriendly towards us, can we trust anything else to be different? Are we walking into the 1950s of the pony world? I was cut from my spiraling as I heard Cecelia humming. Natalia was tapping her free hand in rhythm with her. I couldn't help the smile as I started humming. Juliet and Donatello joined in with the vocals. Angela even got involved by tapping her spoon against the plate. Walter and Zavier didn't sing, but I could hear the tapping of their dress shoes against the floor.





"Well, you seem very happy. What brought that on?" I asked.

"I just figured something out!" Cecelia exclaimed. "If we're in another world, that means we won't have to go to school!" Oh, dear.

"Hmm, that is true. Xavier stated that most of our jobs and activities are no longer accessible to us," Xavier stated.

"So, if the house didn't come with us, we'd be broke and homeless!?" Donatello exclaimed.

Juliet slams her head against the table. "I got accepted to the junior chef program in queens!"

"I had my manscaped delivery coming from Amazon today!" 

Leonardo arches a brow at his little brother. "Wha--"

"Who cares about what we left back on Earth?" Angela stated. "The way I see it, we got shafted and traded open shithole for another,"

"Swear!" Cecelia reminded as Angela bit her cheek at her slip.

"I'm sure you are ecstatic that you don't have to pay off your debts anymore," I said, watching Angela choke a bit on her food. "And that's another day added to your term for service," A low growl seeps out of Angela's mouth, but I turn back to the table. "Now, I know we've had a difficult month, and we left some prior engagements back on Earth. But we are here together. That's what matters," I Looked over to my twins as I continued. "You two don't get too giddy about no more school. We've got plenty of books for homeschooling, and Walter is brilliant with mathematics. You won't be falling behind, savvy?"

"Yes, Grandma," Cecelia said while Natalya signed.

"Why not enroll them this the public school here?" Juliet asks.

"That all depends on the school board and the other ponies' general attitude towards us," I was not ecstatic about letting my girls out of my sight. Even with all the safety measures, I don't trust anything now that magic is real. We'll have to see what the captain says.







[Donatello's POV.]


So, we were waiting in the main hall after breakfast. Captain fairytale stood in front of the doors giving us the usual routine. "Princess Mommy milkers at this moment bequeath you the honor of leaving your home." and "You will have a prison escort with you everywhere you go." I started to drown the rest out and let out a yawn. And, of course, Captain uptight saw me. "Is this boring you?"

"Kinda, yeah," I said truthfully.

The other guards did not like that. "You worthless monkey! Our princess is gracious enough to allow you freedom outside a dungeon!" Lieutenant Blizty ranted. I think he's still mad about wasting time checking the farms around here.

"We have very different views on freedom. From my point of view, freedom does not include telling us we can go outside. And, usually, you would have to pay to have armed bodyguards following us around. I take that back. I am grateful the princess gave us free bodyguards on behalf of the crown," I gave a big toothy grin while all the other guards and the captain glared at me. My sister and brother were more annoyed, but we all thought the same. I was busting these pony men's balls, and that wasn't going to stop for a while.

"We'll take in your input for the princesses," He said, the snitch. "Now, if there are no more interruptions--"

I think I heard Murphy sneeze because the doors burst open as confetti rained everywhere. Pinkie was here with Lyra wearing tour guide outfits. "Hey, all my favorite human pals. Ponyville's one-number tour guides are here to show you all the funniest spots in our little town!"

"Sorry about the door. I told Pinkie it was too much. I'll fix the marks later," Lyra stated.

"Miss Pie. Miss Lyra. We don't need your assistance for this matter," Captain Bum stick said.

"Oh, pshaw, tour guides always provide a fun experience for everyone involved," Pinkie said. After stopping for a month, she and Lyra started saying our words like everyone and everybody in place of every pony. "Seeing a bunch of guards walking around won't help anyone feel comfortable," 

"And we're far more familiar with Ponyvilles hotspots and tourist attractions than most of the guard here," Lyra added.

"So let's get our flanks in gear and tackle the day!" Pinkie said, leading outside.

As we started walking, I sensed we were no longer in Kansas. It's more like we went back in time to the medieval era. There was nothing but straw and hay roofs with some brick or stone foundation in between. And the colors, wow, the colors. Everything was the full tint. It was so bright that I thought we were on an LSD trip. I almost made a crack about chasing the purple dragon when I remembered that we already did. Then, there were the locals or lack of them. I think word got out that they were setting us loose because the place resembled an abandoned warehouse. There was no one in sight on this shiny sunny day. I even caught some windows closing and heard someone nailing behind the doors. But, one thing you pick up while playing in the streets is the feeling of being watched, not by the goon patrol. Every step we took as our tour guides ushered us, we could feel the eyes. The twins didn't notice, but my brother, Angie, and I did. That's also why Mrs. K got a triangle around them. You could also feel the mood in the air. But, it's not a big issue right now. 

"Here's our first stop of the day. The best, funniest, most awesome place to eat and work!" Pinkie exclaims.

"You work in a gingerbread house!?" Cece shouted. She and Nat ran up and tried to lick it.

"Cecelia, Natalya!" Mrs. K said sternly, making the twins flinch.

"It's not an actual gingerbread. Although, I did make that mistake of trying to eat it once," Pinkie admitted.

"I remember that day. Colgate wouldn't stop raving about the damage," Lyra added.

Pinkie sticks her tongue out like one of the twins would do after their midnight fridge raids. "Yeah, not the best idea. Let's head inside for a quick peek," Pinkie opened the door and led us inside. The doom patrol stayed by the door while we looked around. It was just the interior you would see in any bakery. Complete with half-eaten food and over-turned stools. These guys got out of here in a hurry. "Hmm, must be a slow day," Pinkie walks up and hits the little bell on the counter. The rest of us spread out with the twins sticking their faces to the dessert display. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cake?"

"Yeah, I bet they were slow running to hide," Angie states with an eye roll.

"I'm sure the next few stops will be more lively," Lyra said hopefully, but we can see her ears splayed in uncertainty.

"The patrons could've taken the time to throw away their food rather than leave it in this state," Walter stated, fixing the overturned chairs and tables.

"Look at these deserts," Julie said. She was standing in front of the display case. Double C and Nat had their faces glued to the glass as we came over.











I saw Xavier take out his phone and run his fingers through his mouth. The guards didn't whine since we told them the phones were just fancy mirrors. "What are you doing?" Lyra asks. 

"Checking for cavities," He replied.

"I am glad my products have such an effect on you, dearies," A mare came in from the kitchen with her back to us. The kids weren't the only ones drooling at some cake. She had a sky blue shirt with blue jeans and a yellow apron. Her hair looks like a strawberry dollop of icing. "Carrot is upstairs tending to the twins while I was in the kitchen cupcakes. There was certainly a ruckus out upfront. Pinkie, do you know why..." Mrs. Cakes turned with a smile, and that smile fell when she saw us. I threw up a peace sign and flashed her my winning smile. "O-oh, I see you've made some new f-friends. Hello and welcome to Sugarcube corner,"

"Yeppers. These are my new human friends. Xavy. Double C, NT, Julie, Donny, Leo - *GASP* - Annie, Wally, and King Mama," Pinkie introduced us.

"H-humans. You don't say,"

"Hello, how much for the cupcakes?" Cece asks, startling Mrs. Cake.

"Oh! T-They're two bits each," Mrs. Cake said. She was trying to be nice, but it was apparent she was this close to soiling herself.

"What's a bit?" Cece asks.

"Oh, that's right. I forgot to go over our currency. Hold on..." Lyra popped a bag into existence and took out two solid gold coins.

"Holy shit! Is that real?" Angie said, causing the ponies to flinch.

"Excuse me, ma'am, please watch your language. This store is a family establishment where foals frequent!" Mrs. Cake berated. She got over her fear of us real quick. Annie, totally calling her that from now on, grumbles from earning another day to her maid stint.

"Forgive Annie. We're still working on her manners. You have a lovely bakery, but I'm afraid we don't have bits to purchase anything," Mrs. K stated.

"W-well, since you are new customers, we offer a house special for any free item per pony - oh, um - human. So, you can take one for your foals," Mrs. Cake offers. I got to admit. I wasn't expecting that.

"Thank you!" Double C exclaimed as she and Nattie took a cupcake.

"Thanks a bunch, Mrs. Cake. We got to get back to the tour, but I'll see the twins later," Pinkie stated, leading us out.

"So, what are we going to do for money?" Julie said. 

"Get a job," Leo answered.

"Ha, yeah, right. You think I'm going to kiss up to some ponies too afraid even to step outside?" Annie said.

"I'm serious. I know we got a lot of back home, but that won't last forever," Julie pointed out.

"We could hold out for a few years on our current supply. However, I wouldn't recommend it for a long-term solution," Walter said.

"Then it's a good thing our next stop is the mayor's office. Townhall always has a job listing for everypony," Lyra said.

"Even so, we aren't legal citizens at the moment, and it could take even longer than it did for the quarantine lift to get a green card," Xavier made a good point there. We could be in processing limbo till the end of time. Town Hall looked like the top of a castle had been cut off, but it had a nice feel. We got inside a small office room. The receptionist wasn't there, but there was a billboard with the jobs. Some of them were pretty standard. Repairman, plumber, delivery boy. Assistant. Other jobs made no sense at all.

"What's fly-der catcher?" Julie asks. 

"What is a fly-der anyway?" Double C asks.

"The pay isn't much to be desired," Xavier noted.

"Well, most of the listing is odd jobs that don't require any experience or working papers. So, the pay would be low without experience," Lyra comments.

"This is practically chump change," Annie stated. It did seem low. Heck, I got more as a busboy working for Luigi's.

"It's the job that's available for newcomers without experience. If you want a higher pay grade, then you're just going to have to stomach the crumbs before the real bread starts flowing. Otherwise, you have to wait for a new listing at the end of the month," A sharp, slightly nasally voice stated. Everyone turns to the violent earth pony mare with a maroon mane. She looked like she was wearing one of Xavier's spring collection suits. Her snout was deep in a record book, so she hadn't bothered to look at us yet. 

Sliding my hair back, I approached her. "So, do you run this place?"

"No, I am Mayor Mare's aid. Record Clerk. Don't bother telling me your names; I won't remember them. The mayor has been swamped with complaints and paperwork since that mansion appeared,"

"Is that a problem?" Mrs. K asked.

"Other than a large structure, the size of a small farm suddenly situating itself without a proper permit? The Ponyville homeowner association is having a fit. And, a clientele was eying that bit of land for some time. Now we face several legality issues because of it," 

We exchange some looks at the news. "Didn't the princesses deem the land inhabitable or something?" Julie asks.

"There was a halting order on land development in that region. But, the client is appealing it. Then, we got to deal with the sudden quartine itself. Some ponies believe there's a disease running rampant. The royal guard has only escalated things by releasing it, which got the citizenry in an uproar. Honestly, the excuse they told us was a bunch of pony feathers. Imagine humans walking around in this day and age..." Then the mayor's aid took her nose out of the book and greeted us. I flashed her a smile and wave as she started to stammer.

"Hello, we're your resident humans. Alive and fresh off of quartine, ready to be productive members of society," Oh, yeah, I could tell she was falling for my charms. Mrs. K walks past me as Leo pulls me back.

"Miss Clerk. I would like to request--"

"NO!" The assistant shrieked, jumping out of her chair. All of us cringed at this as the guards approached us, not the screaming mare. She seemed to realize what she had done before clearing her throat. "N-no, I am afraid we are not taking requests at the moment. W-we're behind as it is right now. We s-shall inform you in the mail when we are available,"

It couldn't be any more obvious she was afraid. Lyra and Pinkie noticed, too, as the minty mare stepped forward. "It's alright, Record. These humans are as friendly as any other pony. And--"

"That's very nice, Lyra. But, that does not detract from the fact that we're too busy at the moment. Please, show yourselves out!"

"You heard the mare, move!" One of the glorified watchdogs said, pushing Leo with his spear. Leo didn't seem to bother by it. The guard stumbles a bit as big brother shoots him a look. 

"Well, that was a dud. I guess we can meet Mayor Mare later. But, there's no need to feel down. We still have so much more to see!" Pinkie said with a twirl. We got to walking again as Pinks and Ninty took us to the marketplace. There was a vegetable stand, fruits, those little kit-knacks you see from time to time. They even had a superstore called Barnyard Bargains. And not a single stall was open. In fact, a tumbleweed blew right past us, and I kid you not. "I guess everypony is out sick. Do you think there's a flu going around?"

"Avoiding human-itis most likely," Julies whispers.

"Don't worry. Our next location will have better reception," Lyra said excitedly. Shrugging, Lyra leads us to another bakery. This time, a candy shop. The interior had one counter and a couple of stools. "Oh, Bonnie! Get out here! I got customers!" 

I arched a brow at that as some stuffing came from the kitchen. Unlike Mrs. Cake, this mare came out facing us, but her eyes were closed. She had on a white shirt with blue shorts. Her fur looked creamy beige with pigment blue mane and rose pink streak. In her hooves was a try of jawbreakers that she set on the count before finally opening her eyes. Lyra rested her elbow on Julie's shoulder as she arched her eyebrows with a smug grin. I thought the theme would of "Ah, humans!" But instead, Bonnie stared at us blankly before going under the counter and bringing up a brown bag. She took out a bag and gave Lyra some gold bits.

"I  right. I thought this was some clever scheme you roped the town into, but..." Bon Bon said, giving us the once over again. "Humans exist, or they're back,"

"Yep," Lyra said proudly. 

"What are those?" Cece asks.

"Oh, these? They're my new attraction - Bubble Muzzle Poppers - The gum that pops back. Would you like one?" Bonnie offers. It was honestly surprising. Even our escort wasn't expecting a pony to be decent. Julie, the twins, and I tried one. And she was right; the flavor pops into your mouth on the first bite. "Do you like it? I worked over the stove over and over to get the longevity of the gum just right,"

"Oh, this is amazing," Jules said.

"Hmm," Leo hummed his approval. Double C and Nat both blew giant bubbles while giving her a thumbs up.

"Thank you so much. I feel a lot better about serving these--" Bonnie started before a large pop went off. It turns out that Pinkie ate the whole batch and blew a bubble. It was hard to tell where her fur started and the bubble gum ended. Pinkie sheepishly smiles while Bonnie stares at her. "After I make another batch,"

"Ok, we'll leave you to it. Later, Bon Bon," Lyra said, pushing out of the store while using force on Pinkie. Our trek started again as Pinkie provided a map.





Bon Bon's shop was down the street from town hall. Pinkie contently circled all the stops for us. And the following location was something called Carousel Boutique. "Oh, are we going to a carnival?" Julie asks. She loves carnivals.

"Nope, it's just a place my friend works. Now that some time has passed, I bet she can't wait to make friends with you too," Pinkie said optimistically.

"The same friend that broke into my manner?" Mrs. K asks. She was doing her voice again. You know, the one your mom gives as a warning at first.

"Yeah,"

"And who are friends with the purple one?" I asked.

"Twilight or Spike?" Pinkie asks back.

"Who knocked us out and kidnapped us," Julie added.

"Well, only two of you are kids. And we call it pony-napping. So, since no one is a pony here, we didn't technically break the law. Which makes us take you to the sheriff for a temporary relocating," We had to do a double-take at that. I would say she was cute with us if she wasn't earnest.

"Pinkie," Lyra grimaced.

"Please give them another chance. I promise you it is going to be fine. Besides, Rarity Boutique is the only place in Ponyville that can give you new clothes,"

Annie took offense to that. "You got a problem with the way we dressed?"

"Well, I didn't want to say anything earlier, but some ponies might take your socks the wrong way. Ponies only wear them for special adult parties,"

Angie's eyes twitched as she looked down at her socks, then at our escort, before throwing her head up and breathing loudly through her nose. I could tell when the guards were laughing that Pinkie was lying. I got to admit. I never knew socks would be a turn-on. "Hey, Minty?"

"Yes?" Lyra asked.

"You said clouds her don't move on their own, right?"

"That's right. Pegasi control the weather. I know that's different from how humans see the weather, but---"

"Yeah, yeah, calm down. What I mean is that since magic bullcrap moves the clouds, why has that one been following us?"

We all looked up to see a single cloud hovering above our entourage. It was following us as it stopped and cast a slight shadow. I noticed a rainbow-colored tail swiping back and forth on one of the sides. Pinkie called out to our stalker. "Hey, Rainbow Dash. Rainbow! Hey, we're down here!" 

We all exchanged looks while I saw Rainbow's tail stiffen up. "Ms. Pie--"

Walter never got the chance to say anything as Pinkie pulls out a megaphone from somewhere. "HEY, RAINBOW! GET YOUR TONED FAT FLANKS DOWN HERE, OR I'M GOING TELL EVERYONE HERE YOUR BIG DARK SECRET!!!"


"Ah! Pinkie! You blew my cover!!!" A raspy voice said before there was a whooshing sound and rainbow blur. Rainbow Dash flew at us while doing a corkscrew into a flip before landing. It just occurred to me that we didn't get a good like at Pinkie's cronies' outfits. The spectrum mare had a white sports bra and black sweat pants with a weird rainbow lightning bolt running down the sides. She also had this blue jacket with a yellow bolt with wings on the back. What threw me off was this gem necklace around her neck. She didn't seem like the jewelry type. But, I had to respect their gains on her. She got abs that could grate cheese. However, I think Pinkie might've been wrong about Rainbow's size. She's closer to Angie than anything else. "And who are you call fat!?" Pinkie did her Chesire smile again while placing her hoof on Rainbow. With a quick flick, she spins Rainbow around and slaps Rainbow's butt with some weird suction cup ruler. "Yeep!!!"

The ruler's arrow moved up and down before it settled as Pinkie reads it. "Hmm, you're a 6.4 on the jiggle scale. Average, but I know we can do better,"

Rainbow caught her hand before Pinkie could slap her again. "PINKIE!!!"

I lost it after the name of that scale and fell laughing. Annie joined me next while hanging off Leo. Miss skittles didn't like that and grabbed Annie by her shirt till they were nose to snout. "Is something funny!?"

Ang kept her small as she responded. "There's a lot of things, skittles. The biggest is you..." Annie returned the favor and hooked her arm around Rainbow's neck. But Angie slips one leg in between Rainbows. An excellent way to knock some flat on their ass just by stepping forward. Judging by her looks, Rainbow wasn't expecting that. "...Thinking I won't deep fry your wings for getting so close,"

"What are we whispering about?" Pinkie asks. She hooked her arm around Annie and rested her cheek against hers without any of us seeing her move. We got to find out how she does that. Although, this isn't the first time Pinkie's done this. We're pretty much used to it now. Angie doesn't growl when Pinkie hugs her, at least.

"Step away from the elements!" One of the guards said. Ang puts her hands up and backs away while wearing her smile.

"Nothing to it, boss. We're just having a friendly conversation. Right, skittles?"

"Don't try the miss nice mare act. I'm onto you humans!" Rainbow Glare told us. But, she paused at what Ang called her. "And what the hay is skittles?"

"Oh, it's the most awesome-terrific candy ever!" Pinkie exclaims, pulling a pack of skittles out of her mane and giving it to Rainbow.

Rainbow gave the candy the once over as she read aloud. "Taste the rainbow?!" I couldn't help but chuckle at the blush she made. "Whatever! Keep your weird candies to yourself. I got my eye on all of you. So, do not think you can pull a fast one on good honest ponies. You mess with Ponyville, then you're messing with me!"

"Rainbow! You're being unfair!" Lyra said.

"I'm being plenty fair - and loyal - to the ponies of Ponyvile!" Rainbow shot back as she flew off. She didn't go far, just right back up to her cloud, but she didn't bother hiding her face.

"It's alright, gang. Rainbow is just a hardhead, silly filly. I'm sure she'll see how awesome you are; give her some time," Pinkie said with all the optimism in the world.

"Tsk. I won't hold my breath," Annie comments. "Let's get this crap over with so I can drink myself to death," 

Pinkie and Lyra exchanged looks before we made it to our destination. The displaced carnival-type build made the twins more excited, at least. Pinkie knocked on the door, and the poshest voice I ever heard responded. "Coming~," The door opens to reveal that marshmallow unicorn again. She was the high-class type—a white blouse shirt with a blue ribbon trailing down the crease with smooth black waist pants. This mare knows what she's got and how to work. "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and Magnifique. How may I help you-- Wah!?"

"Hiya, Rarity. Guess what; we're giving our new friends a tour of Ponyville! So, that means we had to take them to the best place to get fancy new digs," Pinkie said.

Rarity's eyes shifted from each of us; her gaze stayed on Xavier longer than all of us before she calmed down. "Y-yes - ahem - that is the purpose of my establishment. Although I wish you would've given me a proper warning, Pinkie,"

"But, then it wouldn't be a surprise,"

"Hmm, quite," 

Noticing Rarity's flat look, Lyra spoke next. "We're only showing our friends around. We can leave if you're busy," She gave our names as we gave her our best winning smile, except for Angie.

"Oh, pish posh, darling. I'm free right now. It's probably for the best that you came when you did. This visit warrants a perfect opportunity. Come in, come in, please,"

"Hold up, Rares!" Rainbow said, landing with a gust of wind. "You're letting them in your home with your little sister!"

"If I can recall, you lot let yourselves into our home where you kidnapped my children!" There was a nasty edge in Mrs. K's voice when she reminded them of our first meeting. 

Rarity visibly winced while Rainbow held fast. "Hey, we were acting under the princess's orders and--"

"It's alright, Rainbow. Princess or no, it was still incredibly rude of us to come into a home uninvited. Plus, Pinkie's been with us for the better part of the month. And Lyra certainly has the credentials to give us foresight on humans. We should trust their judgment," 

Lyra and Pinkie nodded their heads optimistically at Rarity's words. I didn't think anypony would give us a chance. Oh, god. Did I say that? I'm already going native. We walked inside, with Rainbow marching before us, and it was everything you'd expect. The place reeked of high class. "This place is amazing," Julie stated.







"Wow! There are so many dresses!" Double C said. The twins and their brother - because, of course, he would - went to check them out. "These are pretty. There are almost as many clothes as in your shop, brother,"

Smirking at the compliment, Rarity giggled to herself. "Why thank you-- Hold on, it was you!?" Ms. Marshmellow exclaimed, pointing a shaky hand at Xavier. Our boss in question was inspecting one of the dresses in his hands.

"Hmm, linen silk. No, that's not it," Xavier mutters. Aw crap, here we go again. He's got that artist mode going on now.

"Hey! Hands off the merchandise!" Rainbow Patrol said, flaring those wings.

"Rainbow, shush! I did hear you correctly, right? You own a boutique as well. That means you were the genius behind those clothing in that workshop!"

"Knowledge you gained when you invaded my home?" Mrs. K asked with that cheeky tone.

This time Miss Marshmellow looked guilty before sheepishly waving it off. "Um, semantics, darling. But, tell me, what do you think of that cloth?"

"Its texture suggests it's silk. However, this lightweight feel points to it being Chiffon. It'simported material from a foreign land, but the stitching is handmade,"

"Yes, you are correct - about the material and its origin - but do you know where?"

"I would say somewhere in Eastern China. It is the best place to find its material for prom dresses and weddings,"

"Yes, yes! Although, I can't say I'm familiar with this "China" local. But, you can find these goods in Fillydelpha," I chuckled at the name and earned another jab from Leo. "I'm curious as to what made you think it's for social gatherings,"

"It's much too small for yourself, and given the time you've taken to swoe this dress, I'd say it is for the first day of school,"

"Yes, darling, you have an impeccable eye for fashion. The school shall be starting again soon, and Sweetie shall be the talk of the town," Miss Marshmellow then started to look apprehensive. "By the way, I am curious if you make clothes for every human here?"

"Haha, only my little sisters. Although, that may change shortly,"

Rarity wipes her brow in relief. "Thank goodness. I was a bit worried for a moment, Mr. Kingston. Your sisters, butler, and Grandma look divine. But the rest are bland, boring, and look like they belong in the streets!"

I got to admit, that one stung. I noticed Leo look at his clothes in confusion. At the same time, Julie's mouth flew open. "What!?" Angie snarls. 

Rarity then floats a roll of measuring tape and gives Angie the once over. "Shush, I'm working. I can whip something perfect to bring out your feminine side. A touch of make-up here and there will have all the stallions-- Hey!!"

Angie grips the tape flying over her body in her hand. We could see the magic start to burn her, but Angie grits her teeth and rips the tape apart. The guards acted up because it would look good on the report, and Rainbow got in front of Rarity. "Keep your dumbass view of fashion bullshit to yourself!"  

Rarity gasped at the vulgar language. "Well, you don't need to spew such vulgarities. I was merely trying to improve your image to your benefit. But, if you insist on this ruffian persona, you won't make any friends!"

"And who the fuck asked for your expertise? A prissy, sheltered tramp like you wouldn't know shit if it stained your face!"

"H-how dare you!!!" Rarity gasped.

"Forget them, Rarity! You can't expect these humans to get you," Rainbow stated.

"Rarity? What's with all the yelling?" A new voice said. We turned to the steps to see a mini marshmallow pony looking back at us. The only difference was the mane and eyes. She had two shades of purple with teal eyes. Her dress was similar to the twins-- a lovely white dress with matching purple accents. It was cute until we saw her eyes blow up like saucers and fear creep inside. "W-who are they?"

"Hey, you're a kid!" Cece said. "Wow. You're the first pony our age!" Nat nods in agreement. 

"What's a kid?" Mini Marsh asked.

"You'll have to forgive my sisters. They are excitable. To answer your earlier question, we're humans. We've recently found ourselves in your quaint little town," Xavier said.

"Hyu-manes? I heard from class that they were bad, and Rarity told me to stay away from that big mansion,"

Big Marshmellow looked nervous while prism girl smiled. But Xavier is a lot better with kids than the rest of us. "That's good advice. We are strangers to you, after all," Xavier chuckled. "You should older listen to your older siblings. Isn't that right, you two?" The twin terrors stuck their tongues at him. Bluebird and the ponies looked shocked that Xavier agreed with Rarity being a xenophobe. "Of course, I hope I can show you we're nothing like the last humans. I go by Xavier, by the way. May I have your name, young mare?"

"Sweetie Belle," Xavier seemed to calm her down as she got closer. "Isn't that Rarity's dress?"

"Yes, it is. The craftsmanship just so took me. It is wonderfully woven clothing for your comfort,"

"You sound like my sister. Do you make clothes too?"

"I do. Although it's been quite some time since I've had any competitor. Your sister might give me a run for the money,"

Sweetie gives us a broad smile at that. "Yeah! My sister is the best fashion pony in Equestria!"

"You mean she was before my brother came here," Cece challenged. Oh, boy.

"Nuh-uh,"

"Uh-huh!"

"Now, now, Sweetie. It's not about who's the best. But, a love for the art," Rarity said before looking over to Xavier. "I would love to see more of your wares, darling,"

"Of course, my lady, I'll consider it an honor to hear the critique of my peer. Thank you for having us," Xavier said with a bow. We started to file out, with Julie pushing Angie faster as the ponies led the way. I have to hand it to Xavier. His brand of manners might have saved the day.







[Juliet's POV.]


"Get off my back already!" Angie hissed.

"You, shut your mouth; you almost blew it for us!" I whispered into her ear.

"Who gives a fu-- Aw!?"

I gave her a pinch on the ass. "Zip it! Look, we need to show them we're not what they think. You going alpha bitch on a person with connections fucks us over in the long run. So try not to be you for the rest of the visits. Please,"

"Fuck off. I'm no one's pet project. Next time you won't go on some tour, then leave my ass the fuck out of it,"

I groaned at her since I knew that was the case. Was Rarity pushy and rude? Yes. Did she mean anything about it? I'm going with probably. I needed to jump ahead of any curious ponies coming near Ang. Rainbow had flown off to parts unknown. But, that did not mean no one was stalking us. Off to the side, I caught another kid pony tailing us. She was orange with a purple mane, a black hoodie, and green cargo shorts, riding an old scooter. I figured she was working for Rainbow since she had the same lightning bolt logo on her shoulders. I almost wanted to call her out, but she tried so hard even though she had the subtly of a bear walking in a room full of vases. Our next stop was the public library that, somehow, was made into a tree. I'm pretty sure environmentalists will have an issue with this. Pinkie and Lyra trotted as they spoke.

"This building is Golden Oaks Library. If you want to check out a book, hold club meetings and study sessions, you do it here," Lyra stated.

"And this library is the best spot to feed our brains since they don't have mouths. I tried feeding mine with pudding through my ears one time. It did not, and I couldn't hear anything for a week,"

What? "...What?" I said.

"Um, let's go inside," Lyra said, saving us from the brain aneurysm that is Pinkie.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is in charge of this library?" Nana Kingston asks.

"That would be me," A familiar voice stated. We turned to see our favorite kidnapper with her dragon friend and another stallion. Naturally, all of us tensed up. Leeo steps before me with Donny, staring down at the dragon man. I thought a fight was about to happen, but the mystery stallion put on a friendly smile.

"Yes, this lovely mare is in charge. And, we welcome you to the Golden Oaks Library. I'm Mythic Entry,"
> Chapter VIII
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Juliet's POV.]


You know that awkward moment where your friend introduces you to someone you hate because, as it turns out, they are friends too. And said friend wants you all to be friends? That's what we got going on right now. Twilight came out in force to greet us. She stood there in a typical schoolgirl outfit; a white blouse, purple vest, and black skirt. The dragon-man on her left had a powdered blue shirt and brown pants. Donny told me he tangled with this guy and the Skittles pony. I thought it was crazy that anyone could toss Leo. But, if anything could do it, a dragon sounds about right. The stallion on her right had a unique blend of black fur and two-tone mane. He was a bit different from the other ponies. What I mean by that is he treating us like the plague. He seemed happy to see us. You might assume he's like Pinkie or Lyra or the doctor. But, given his company, I don't trust this guy's intentions. Then, there's the way he's dressed. Nothing says condescension than an ascot with a puffy shirt and skinny jeans. After some more tension, the stallion spoke.

"Hello, welcome to the Golden Oak Library. I'm Mythic Entry, and the two beside me are my assistants. Twilight Sparkle and Spike Sol Sparkle,"

"Hey! We're not your assistants. It's Twilight's library!" Spike said.

"I thought it was a public library that anypony - Uh, excuse - anyone could enter. Yet, here we are, standing like sentries," Mythic Entry said. I arched a brow at that. Was he trying to butter us up with our terms?

The dragon-man scoffs at this. "Yeah. Because in case you forgot what rainbow said, the humans were coming! This place is Twilight home--"

"You live in a Treebrary?" Cece chose that time to speak up.

"You know, that's never occurred to me to call it that before today," Mythic Entry said.

"No, It's called The Golden Oak Library. Nopony calls it the Treebrary," Spike said.

"So, it's not made out of a tree?" Donnie asks. I could see the ideas swimming already.

"It is, but-"

"Do you use squirrels as attendants?" Cece asks.

"There aren't any squirrels-"

"Should we bring some nuts as an entrance fee?" I ask with a smile.

"No, you-"

"That messed up that you went and killed a tree. At least shape the wood into something else - rather than - desecrate it," Angie pipes up.

"Alright, quit it!" Twilight spoke again. She sighs while fixing her bangs. "Ahem. While I appreciate the - adorable - nickname and theories, Golden Oaks Library is the name designated by the town. Earth pony magic is what repurposes a withering tree into the structure you see today. Princess Celestia appointed me as the caretaker of the tomes," The mini-lecture ended with a proud smile.

"That's right. Twilight here is the best librarian of the Treebrary Ponyville has ever seen!" Pinkie said, at Twilight's side, pulling her into a hug.

"Pinkie! Don't encourage inaccuracies!"

"Well, Treebrary does have a certain charm to it," Lyra said. Twilight shoots a glare as the minty mare chuckles sheepishly.

"Anyway, this establishment--"

"Nerd," Angie coughs in plain view of everyone.

That earned another glare from sparkle pone. "--Has rules to abide by and must be strictly followed. First and foremost, any book you check has a three-day grace period before the return is due. While the book is out, it must return in the same condition. If there is damage in any way, you will reimburse it. When inside the library, you are not to make any noise. It is also my home, so--"

"Wait, you live in the Treebrary?" Donnie asks.

"Yes, but--"

"Are you sure you're not a squirrel?" Angie asks with a smirk.

"Of course not--"

"Oh, are you part flying squirrel?" Pinkie asks.

"Pinkie!!!"

"To be fair, there are times when you're a little nutty," Mythic said. Twilight now graduated to a death glare. "...Right, shutting up,"

"Honestly, if you are going to be this disorderly, you won't gain entry here!" Twilight huffs.

"Relax, purple smart. We're busting your balls-- Ow!!!" Leo smacks Donnie across his head.

"Don't mind them, Miss Sparkle. If this is your home, we'll respect your wishes. Are we barred from this establishment?" Nana Kingston asks.

After a brief staredown, Twilight sighs. "No, this is a public library. I won't deny anypony that genuinely seeks knowledge. However, what I also encourage is the sharing and grasping of knowledge,"

"A book report?" Leo said.

Twilight beamed a little at that. "That's right. It's the best way to retain information,"

I'm pretty sure I can hear Angie groaning in her head. "You gestured something about sharing knowledge as well?" Yu Chen asks.

"Yes, I did. Everypony--"

"You know, you could say everybody instead of everypony. Everypony doesn't sound inclusive, like at all," Donnie said.

"It's a good point. There are other beings here. Humans. A dragon," I said, gesturing to myself and dragon man.

"Can I please finish without any more interruptions?" Whoa, someone's testy. "Now, I would like to know what knowledge you and your species possess,"

"Oh!" Cece exclaimed. "You mean like that one episode of the avatar with the big owl librarian!"

"Ava-what now?" Spike asks.

Cece takes out a bit of string before she answers. "It's a show that came on a while ago, but it's good. Here,"

"You tied a string?" Twilight asks dubiously.

"It's a butterfly knot. That counts as knowledge. do you know how to tie one?"

"I don't," Mythic Entry said with a smile.

Twilight sighs again as she pulls a booklet from the hammerspace and pulls out a book to write something down. Angie was the last person I thought would go next. But, that grin she wore promised her brand of BS. "Any form of knowledge will d, right?" 

Miss Sparkle was more on getting are with Angie in front of her. And Dragon man was ready to flambé Ang on the spot. But, she responded. "Yes, any form is fine. Do you have anything to share?"

To everyone's shock, Angie nods. "Oh, yeah. Something all of us might laugh about later,"

"Oh! Is it a joke? I love jokes!" Pinkie asks.

Maybe Angie is going to give this new world a try. Perhaps, she is branching with the whole "alpha bitch” thing. "Ever had a rim job?"

Maybe, I should've brought some aspirin. Like clockwork, the ponies were confused, while ordinary people were screaming internally. "What is a rim job?" Mythic Entry asks—that poor innocent fool.

"It's when you put your legs behind and have someone lick your ass!" Angie finished.

"I don't get it," Lyra said.

"Yeah, why would you lick a donkey?" Spike asks.

"Do you have to put your legs behind your head? That seems painful," Lyra shudders.

"What? Pis-sway. That's easy. See," And, sure enough, Pinkie was on the ground with her legs crossed. She would make any gymnast jealous. No one should be that flexible. I went and pinched Donnie and Leo for staring too long.

"Thank you, Pinkie. You can stop now," Nana Kingston said.

The joke got some laughs out of us. But only because the ponies missed the punchline. "I don't understand it, so that counts," Twilight stated.

Donnie pats the disgruntled Angie as he goes up. Since Angie took the crude route, Donnie will try and be clever. So, he pulls out his trick coin. For some reason, Twilight looked alarmed by it. I'm sure others caught it too. Are coins illegal here? I'll have to ask Lyra because I doubt Miss teachers' pet will share everything. "Did you know that humans eat metal?"

"Really?"

"Watch," Donnie held up the coin and brought it to his face. He played up his part, then bit into the currency. The trick is that the money is fake. There's a string attached that you can pull on. All you got to do is bite the edge, pull back, and, tada, you used forced perspective to eat a coin. Of course, Donnie went the extra mile and spat it out. Thus, making the cash look whole again. "Urgh. I should've gone with the dime,"

"How?" Twilight blinked herself over to Donnie and took his coin while we rubbed our eyes. "You bit into this, but it's completely intact. Do you have any abilities you neglected to inform us of?" I couldn't tell if she was more curious or suspicious when she said that,

"Uh, Twilight, I think that's a fake bit," Spike said.

Mythic came up and picked up the coin in his hoof. Thank goodness Lyra explained it was because the frog of their hooves had these tiny nubs. I would've gone crazy stressing over it. Mythic pulls the string and reels back, revealing the trick coin. Twilight frowns in disappointment for some reason. Leo steps up next. He eyed her for a second while she grew tense. The dragon and stallion were growing uncomfortable as well. Leo was the tallest of all of us. He was even taller than the pink and blue Princess, with Princess Sunny taller. Twilight here was around my height. So, I'd imagine a taller person you have an issue with peering down at you would make you sweat. I felt what my big brother was doing and held back my laugh. Unblinking, his entire focus on you, not saying a word. Yeah, he was giving her the staredown. Eventually, Twilight couldn't handle it anymore and spoke up.

"Do you have anything to share?" Twilight asks.

"I am," Leo said.

"Okay, and what is it?"

"A game,"

By now, Twilight was getting a little irritated. Leo was a man of few words. "We were playing a game?"

"Oh, yeah. It's the staredown game. You look at each other without blinking or talking. The first one to cave loses," Donnie explains.

"Honesty, Leopard," Xavier sighed with a shake of his head.

"Oh. I never heard of that one before. I got next!" Pinkie said. She rushes over to Spike and starts glaring at the dragon man. 

"Pinkie. I am not sure--" Spike started, but Pinkie cut him off.

"I win!"

I stepped up next with a raise of my hand. "Say, do you have a kitchen? I have a nice recipe that you may like~," I said.

"Hold up. We're not letting you stroll around the library--"

"Treebrary!" Pinkie interrupts Spike with a smile.

Spike's eye twitched before continuing. "--The only part of the Library you have access to is the library!"

"If I might make a suggestion, how about I offer some books from my personnel library? The information is more up-to-date. And, we have plenty of stories you could read. So, how does a book for book trade sound to you?" Nana Kingston offers.

"That's perfect!" Twilight looked happy for the first time since we met. I guess all ponies have that squee moment. Twilight realizes this and clears her throat." Ahem. Your offer is accepted. Please, come inside," We finally made it inside. And the place was huge. There was something surreal about being inside a tree.








"Huh, it's bigger on the inside," Donnie said.

"Gesundheit," Pinkie said off the rip.

"I didn't sneeze," 

"I know; someone else did,"

I giggle as I catch Xavier frowning at Pinkie. It's hard to know if that mare is fun or crazy. Shifting gears, the twins ignored all Twilight's and ran around the place. Nana and Mr. Chen browsed the assorted bookshelves. Looking at their section, I saw them pick up books on Equestrian law, Society, and social ques. The rest of us followed their example. It was essential to know how this world worked. I picked up something about culinary arts and agriculture. I wanted to get a grasp on what food they have. And what's safe for human consumption. If the marketplace ever wants to open for us. Donnie picked up several magazines. As trashy as the ones back home are, they are a good perspective on current culture. Leo went with books on architecture. 

There were houses made of brick and mortar from the walk over here, while others had hay instead of a roof. Xavier picked up books on fashion and clothing. Different world or not, fashion trends are fashion trends, and you don't want to be left behind. Lyra helped out with science and technology books. And Pinkie opted for adventure and children's books. I guess it's good to know what the ponies like as entertainment. Angie gave the shelves the once over. She pulled out a book and put it back. We knew Angie wasn't interested in any reading. So, she was looking to cause some trouble. Hopefully, it's nothing big. That left Spike with the twins. And him, chasing them around the ground floor. Thankfully, the twins know how to act. They never went to the second floor. Thus, the dragon-man became their unwitting babysitter for the duration—a fact the terror twins took full advantage of in a heartbeat.

"So, you're a dragon?' Cece asks.

"Yes," Spike responded.

"An authentic dragon?"

"Yes!"

"A super real authentic fire-breathing dragon?"

"Yes!!!"

Spike stared down at Cece and Nattie. Cece looks to her sister, who shakes her head. "We don't believe you,"

"Wha-- Why?"

"Well, you're too short. You don't have wings. Dragons were cool armor, not plain clothes. And, you haven't breathed fire at all,"

"Oof. Burn," Mythic said in the corner. "Or, would it be a lack of one?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Mythic. You know Spike can breathe fire. Besides, if the information was readily available on dragons, I can answer your inquiry more accurately," Twilight said.

"Actually. Dragons have these growth spurts that can change their size, shape, and mindset. The most common trigger is greed. It's why dragons have such massive hirds of treasure-- To satisfy that urge," Lyra said. 

Twilight did her best impersonation of a goldfish. "How do you know about that?"

"Well, since dragons a so reclusive. They technically fall under my studies as a cryptozoologist. You know, since nobody knows a lot about them,"

"Pfft, so you're still a kid?" Donnie smirks.

"No! W-well, I am legally an adult by pony standards. And, Rarity made me these clothes! They're not plain," Spike huffs.

"So, dragon man over there is a late bloomer. I doubt Miss prissy marsh's mellow isn't into it," Angie jokes.

"You leave Rarity out of this-- Burp!" We all duck when Spike suddenly burps out green flames and a scroll.

"Wow. Green fire!" Cece exclaims while Nattie nods in excitement.

"Um, bless you?" I said in an unsure tone. Dragons can sneeze. Who knew.

"Oh! A letter from the Princess!" Twilight said, pulling the scroll towards her. "It's a reminder that she would like a friendship report from each of you. I know you all recently moved here," Twilight winced when we gave her a look. I mean, really? "So, there won't be any current reports for a while. But, you are welcome to share past experiences. So..." None of us were exactly eager to share. A lot of our friendships before we met were not something we liked. Most of them were fake and toxic.

"Hold up. The Princess uses you as a walking email platform?" Donnie asks Spike.

"Dragon fire possesses magical properties like that can transfer certain items. Spike acts as a courier between myself and Princess Celestia," Twilight explained.

Spike puffs out his chest a little as he speaks. "That's right, if any critical documents, letters, scrolls, and the like need delivering. I am the dragon!"

"Don't worry. There is zero chance of postal level government secrets exposure occurring with Spike on the case," Mythic Entry joked.

"Oh! We do have a current friendship report!" Cece said.

"You do? I-I mean, that's great. What is it?" Twilight asks with a letter in hand.

Cece nods to Nattie, and they run over to Lyra and Pinkie. The twins pulled each mare front and center with big smiles. "Pinkie and Lyra were the first pony friends we made! Lyra is smart, and Pinkie is fun,"

"Oh, yeah. Pinkie is great. There was never a dull moment with her. She taught us to smile through uncertain times," Donnie said.

"Lyra is insightful. She was eager to get to know us when others kept their distance," Xavier stated.

"These mares are gladly welcome into my estate for being the only ones to give us a chance," Nana Kingston said.

"Eh, I hate them the least," Angie said. While that might seem cold, it is the best compliment Angie gives to new people.

The two mares blush at the compliment as Pinkie hugs the Alpha girl into a hug. A hug planted Ang's face firmly against Pinkies bust, earning a growl. "Aw, that was the nicest thing anyone has said to me~,"

"...Thank you. I hope we made you stay more comfortable," Lyra said bashfully. 

Twilight seemed hesitant as she wrote everything we noted down. She looked jealous but thanked us, and Spike burned her letter. I guess that's how he sends it back. Although, I don't know why anyone would want to hack up the paper each time. 







[Yu Chen POV.]


We exited the library sometime with several books on our person. It's been some time since the last family activity. Although, a mass study session was far from what I was expecting. As necessary as it may be, regardless. Madam Kingston deemed it alright for Young Twilight to pick from the private study. I've no doubt there are some reading materials the Madam will eagerly part with and some that require subterfuge. I know I will be comparing the acts of the humans here to the current events of our world. I am only mildly surprised if their actions don't replicate modern times. Miss Pie informed us of our next venture to visit her friend on a farm. After that, we'll be to see her friend on the outskirts of town. But, according to Miss Pie and Miss Heartstrings, it was the most famous farmland in the country. Good standing with them might alleviate the pressure of our current social status.

Our walk was a quiet one, as it was since we left the manor. However, the pegasus filly intent on tracking us gained an assistant—Miss Belle's younger sister. The two were friends. And the worse stealth operators I've ever seen. Young Sweetie Belle's hooves constantly stepped on every pebble and twigged her hooves could find. And the little pegasus filly was rather insistent on riding her scooter despite the constant meshing of gravel against the wheels. In a rare moment of cheekiness, as Juliet calls it, I watch over the bush they were hiding inside. The result was amusing as they tried to duck deeper into hiding, only for their manes and tails to stick out as they argued. Regardless, the farm was coming into view. To say that it was massive is an understatement. Although, I would say calling this land a farm would be a little misleading. The number of apple trees suggests that it is more of an orchard than anything else. However, there were several pig pins and chicken coups. 




"Wow. A real-life farm!" Cecelia exclaimed.

"You all never been to a farm? How do you get your food?" Miss Heartstrings asks.

"We'd normally buy produce from a supermarket. There was never a reason to visit a farm. But, we do still have them," Master Xavier explains.

"Besides, who always wants to be around a pig pen?" Miss Nyx said.

"Ah. Caring for the little critters is a worthwhile experience," A new voice said. 

We looked down the dirt road as a family of four approached us. The one that instantly grabbed my attention was the red-furred stallion. The equine in front of us was massive—a genuine physical fitness specimen that would shame most bodybuilders. He wore a white tank top and blue pants with a green patch over both knees. In bizarre irony, he was also a yok around his neck, similar to the horse on Earth. He regarded us with a stern expression. An orange mare with blonde hair and brilliant emerald eyes was on his right. She was the classic example of a southern cowgirl, complete with a stetson hat. She wore an orange shirt that showed off her miff—Blue shorts that stopped midway on her thigh and a brown vest with matching southern boots. I am guessing that the apple belt buckle is a type of branding. Her expression was rigid and judgemental. Behind her was a little filly wearing a yellow shirt and blue jumpsuit pants. A lovely red ribbon sat upon her puffy red mane. She wore a face of trepidation towards us. The last one in the line was an elder mare who looked older than Madam Kingston. She had her hair in a bun. She had a beige blouse shirt with red shirk and a yellow and red polka dot scarf. 





I could instantly feel the tension in the area. Something that only grew more palpable when Madam Kingston and the Matietarch of this apple family stepped forward to each other. None of us from either side dared to speak. Although, the young masters and the pony siblings finched at their new proximity. I let out a breath I did not realize I was holding when the old mare smiled.

"Well, now. It's nice to see what finally got the town in a big tizzy. I don't see the point of getting all worked up every time some new critters visit. There were finally no crowds in the marketplace, and I couldn't go there because of some quarntine," The old mare said with a coy smile.

"That's nothing. I once had coupons for mixed vegetables good for a whole year. When I went to cash them in, it was no longer valid due to a policy change," Madam Kingston said.

"That it's evil right there. I don't reckon you try to barter a better price?"

"Some off-brand thrift shops allow you to do that. But, it's not by a large percentage. And other places have a set asking price. So, it's pay or gets lost,"

The elder mare shakes her head at the thought before eyeing us. "Are these youngins your kin?"

"Three of them are, while the rest are good family friends," Madam Kingston introduced all of us, starting from myself to Miss Nyx.

The elder mare gave an appreciative smile. "Those aren't the strangest names I've heard. But, here are my grand-foals: Applejack--"

"You're named after my cereal!" Young Cecelia exclaimed.

"That's not the only thing," Master Donatello whispered to Miss Juliet.

"I beg you pardon?" Applejack asks.

"You share the same name as many products in our home," Madam Kingston explained.

"That's not the only thing," Lady Nyx said, smiling.

"Oh! It's True! I saw that cereal in the cabinets, and I thought: How did they get Applejack in this box? So, I opened it, thinking I was helping. And it turned out to be cereal. Then I thought, does it taste like Applejack? So--"

"Pinkie!" Miss Applejack exclaimed.

"Um, Pinkie? H-how do you know what Applejack tastes like?" Master Donatello asks, earning a smack from Lady Juliet. "Ow! I was talking about the cereal!"

Miss Smith gave a kindhearted chuckle. "This stallion here is my oldest: Big Macintosh,"

"Eyup!" Mister Macintosh said. The stallion's gaze seems to shift from the young masters and me. But, he'd seem particularly focused on Master Leonardo.

"And here is Applebloom," The filly in question steps out from behind her sister and gives us a wave. Young Natalya and Cecelia return the gesture. I can see this family takes its branding very seriously. "Now, hows about we show you around the farm and maybe get some grub in your youngins,"

"But, Granny! We can't let them prance around our farm!" Miss Applejack exclaimed.

"You mean like how you prance around their home uninvited?" Madam Granny Smith said with a raised brow. Miss Applejack instantly flinched at that.

"Don't forget about the kidnapping. That's not what I call neighborly," Miss Nyx said with a mock southern tone. The two eldest siblings caught it. But, Miss Smith seemed to let it go.

"No, it wasn't. I thought I taught you better manners than that, young lady!"

"But, the princess--" Miss Applejack began, but her grandmother cut her off.

"I know. You were following the Princess's orders. But, I also want you to use your best judgment regarding these things. Instead, you went like a rooster pecking around a timberwolf. Yeah, there was some unruly human a while back. but, did you give that best quality of pony?" Miss Applejack reluctantly shook her head. "Then, let's do it properly the way we apples do!"

And so, Miss Smith began a tour of her family farm. "Right here is the pigpen. Since Y'all never been to a farm, I bet you don't know why pigs are important,"

"By What? Shitting everywhere?" Miss Nyx said.

"Swear!" Cecelia said indignantly.

Madam Kingston cast a warning glance that promised an eternity of maid service. "Worth it,"

"A bit of a potty mouth, that is, huh?" Miss Smith said much to our amusement. "But, producing manure for fertilizer is only half of what they could do. Little pigs sniff and poke at the ground with the richest soil. That's when you get to planting. And, the results more than speak for themselves,"

"Wow!" Cecelia exclaimed.

"Over here are the chicken coops. The lay eggs, we sell them,"

"Oh, yes. We have chickens. That's one of the ways we use them," Madam Kingston said.

"Hmph, I bet one of those ways in love eating them!" Miss Applejack caused.

"Yeah, I love me some fried chicken," Miss Nyx said.

"Baked chicken. No question!" Miss Crews said.

"Stew chicken is preferable to those not savages," Master Kingston added.

"Wait, are we talking thighs, flats, or drumsticks?" Mister Donatello asks.

"Y'all ain't going anywhere near our chickens!" Miss Applejack said.

"What's up with you?" Miss Nyx asks.

"You're all talking about eating chickens!" Miss Applebloom spoke for the first time.

"Yeah, it's not a big secret," Miss Cecelia said.

"To clear any confusion, can any of your farm animals talk?" I ask.

"None except the cows," Miss Smith answered.

"Then, that makes things easier. While we consume meat, the animal does not share the same level of sentience as we do. We already have a surplus of food. And, you have our solemn vow that we will not harm any of your farm life,"

"Say, wasn't there a guard pony asking questions about missing animals?" Miss Applebloom asks.

"Yes, that was when corporal suck-up looked into our fridge and claimed we run a slaughterhouse," Mister Crews said. None of our current escorts like that jab.

Miss Applejack looked far from dissuaded as she crossed her arms. "Y'all don't seem at all ashamed of cutting up animals and eating them,"

"Are you saying we should lie?" Madam Kingston countered. "What we eat does not make us monsters as humans are not exclusively meat-eaters,"

"Prove it!" Mister Big Machintosh said simply. His masculine voice and the fact that he spoke garnered our attention.

"How would you like us to do that?" Madam Kingston asks.

"For that, we'll continue the tour. And, no more interruption," Miss said to Miss Applejack, who was about to object. We moved deeper into the property, stopping by a cattle holding. "Now, here's we keep the cows. We carry off the milk to pasteurize and sell-off in the market. There's a lovely mare named Milky Way that helps with that and handing them out,"

One of the cows approached us as the twins moved to it. "Hehe, moo," Young Cecelia said.

"Uh! Why I never!" The cow spoke.

"U-um, did you just talk?" Miss Juliet stammers. I was having a hard time reframing from doing the same.

"Yes, I did. And I must say that I have never been so offended!"

"W-we are sorry, ma'am. We aren't used to cows being able to speak," Madam Kingston said. "I'm Nancy Kingston. My grandkids. Cecelia, Natalya, and Xavier. The Crews: Juliet, Leonardo, Donatello. Angela Nyx and Yu Chen,"

"I'm Bolivia. And, you can relax, dear. I was only kidding. You'd be surprised how many foreign creatures don't know we can talk,"

There was a soft thud next to us as Mister Donatello collapsed to his knees. "Donny, what's wrong?" Miss Juliet asks.

"Julie. Leo! They can talk. Cows can talk here! Now, I can never have another burger or steak again!" Mister Donatello always was one for theatrics.

"I'm afraid I don't get it. What's a steak?" Bolivia asks.

"Nothing but a distant memory now-- Ow!!!"

Miss Juliet went and tugged her brother by his ear. "Ignore my goofy brother,"

"Hmm, I might have just the thing for that. But, for now, let's get to the crown jewel of the apple family," Miss Smith said. We came across the namesake of this land. An impossible number of apple trees stretched far as our eyes could see as Miss Smith spoke. "And, here is the apple families' pride and joy. Our namesake, ready to be bucked and pass about all over Equestria," 

"Whoa! There's so many!" Young Cecelia exclaimed while Young Natalya nodded.

"Yep! Each of these trees represents a member of our that planted them nearly a thousand years ago. We apples provide the best apple products in Equestria!" Miss Applejack said with pride.

"That's an extended family," Master Xavier said.

"I hate to see your employee payout," Miss Nyx said.

"Now why is that, deary?" Miss Smith asked to our confusion.

"With the number of trees you have, you must have the largest staff on the payroll," Madam Kingston stated.

Miss Smith began to speak, but Miss Applejack cut her off abruptly. "That's a load of manure. We don't need any pony's help to tend our orchard. Why I could clear all these apples by myself!"

"Pfft. As if. Do you mean you climb all these trees each day? You'd have better luck bucking at them," Miss Nyx said.

Miss Applejack huffs before a smirk begins to form. "Ya want to make a bet?" Oh, dear. She issued it.

"Sure, I always wanted a gold coin. Do you need time to search your pig pen for it?" Miss Nyx taunted. 

Whether or not the insult affected Miss Applejack, I could not tell. But, I did hear Master Xavier groan at the frowns Miss Applebloom and Mister Big Macintosh were giving her. "Alright, I bet I can get five apples clear of their roots in under a minute. When I win, Y'all will have to finish up the rest of our chores we put on hold to meet Ya,"

"And when you fail, you got to do something embarrassing in the middle of town. Don't worry; I know your speed," 

"Oh, no," Miss Heartstrings said in concern.

"Don't do it, Angie! That's Applejack's element! Literally!" Miss Pie tried to dissuade.

Miss Applejack shakes Miss Nyx's hand and heads over to the tree. She places her hand on her hips before turning to us and leaning on the tree, arms crossed while whistling a tune. We were admittedly confused by this as the time was ticking. "Time?" Miss Applejack asks after some time has passed

"About thirty seconds, sis," Young Applebloom informs.

"Much obliged," Miss Applejackdrops on all fours. She thrust her legs into the tree. All the apples fell from their stems to the ground in an instant. She repeated the action four more times in a quick session. A smug smile on her features. No doubt because of the various states of shock I and the others are sharing. "Time?"

"You finished with ten seconds to spare. You probably would've had an extra five if you didn't start whistling," Miss Smith said.

"Eeyup," Mist Machintosh agreed.

Miss Smith walked over to the apples and picked up several of them. "Let's get the whole meat-eater matter settled right now. Why don't Y'all try some apples?"

We all gave the fruit some appraisal before the twins took the first bite. Instantly, their faces lit up and devoured them like a pack of starved dogs. "Cecelia. Natalya! Mind your manners!"

"Sorry, but these apples are so good!!!" Young Cecelia said while Natalya nodded enthusiastically.

The rest of us followed suit and bit into the apples. "Whoa!" Mister Leonardo said, taking a bigger bite.

"I-It's amazing! The texture is smooth, but there's a nice crunch!" Miss Juliet stated.

"I'd never had an apple this juicy and rich!" Master Xavier said.

Even Miss Nyx next was caught in the euphoria these apples brought to the taste. However, she turns away once she notices Miss Applejack sporting a knowing smile towards her. "Tch! I guess they are at least edible..."

"No, it's horrible!" Mister Donatello said to our surprise.

"...What you say, sonny?" There was a dangerous glint in Miss Smith's eyes as she said this.

"Yeah! We would never give any pony a rotten apple!" Young Applebloom stated fiercely.

The moment Donatello fell to his knees again was when I knew he was being dramatic again. "That's why it's horrible! It is the best apple I've ever had or ever will have! All the apples at our place won't compare! You've eighty-sixed our taste buds!!!" 

"Eighty-six?" Miss Lyra asks.

Miss Pie let out a loud gasp. "You're right! I never had any apples other than Applejacks. That's why I thought the apple in the mansion was stale!" Joining Mister Donatello on the ground, Miss Pie wails. "Applejack. How could you! You've spoiled the whole town to eat only your apples!"

"Hahaha! Two apples in a bunch, aren't they? If you want some more high-quality apples, just drop by our stand at the market. Or even visit the farm," Miss Smith kindly offers.

"Thank Miss Smith, but we may short bits for some time," Madam Kingston said. 

"Well, how about you take some home with Ya now. But, be sure to finish up the remaining chores from that bet," Many of the young masters groan at this. "Quit your bellyaching. You only have to clean and wash the pigpen and round up those apples on the ground. It'll be worth your while with the vittles you taking with Ya,"

The remaining chores were as follows; feed the chickens. Clean the pigs and their pen. Milk the cows. And finally, gather the apples and put them in the cellar. We decided to split the duties to hasten our pace. The young twins feed the chickens with no issues despite having Young Applebloom as a chaperone. The filly even gave praise before running off. I'd notice she joined up with our two stalkers.

Along with me, the Crews brothers handled bringing in the apple haul with Mister Big Machintosh. The stallion proved equine's effectiveness if they shared his form back on Earth. He carried four when the young masters and I hauled one crate full of apples. Thankfully, there wasn't much to transport to their storage. Madam Kingston and Miss Crews attended to the cows with Miss Smith. The bovines were more respective and explained what they needed them to do. I must admit the question of how would hooves apply to milking something as delicate as teats would work. Something our milk providers didn't seem to condemn out loud. But, judging from the please expression after the Madam's work, they may be more inclined to opposable appendages.

Miss Nyx, unfortunately, had the worse chore of the tasks. That was cleaning the pig pens. Miss Appelack supervised as Miss Nyx tried to usher the pigs outside. None of the pigs acknowledged her at all and continued their usual routine. It wasn't until Miss Applejack let out a whistle that things got complicated. The pigs all rushed out of the open gate, knocking down miss Nyx. There was an unsightly splat from where she landed in the mud while Miss Applejack snickers. Naturally, Miss Nyx shot up to voice her complaint about the action. But, she lost her footing and fell into the muck once again. Thus, the other young masters began to laugh at her miss fortune. Thankfully, before an assault could happen, Madam Kingston offers to finish. Miss Smith made Applejack assist for her mischief. And thus, the chores were complete. To her word, Miss Smith provided us with her homemade family-theme meal in a basket. 

"Y'all enjoy the meal. Tell me how you like the vittles," Miss Smith said.

"Thank you, Granny Smith. It smells delicious," Madam Kingston said.

"Swing by again when you're free; we might have a job or two for Ya," Miss Smith glances at Miss Nyx, who was wiping the mug and grim off her. "We have a hot shower to clean yourself up in if you want,"

"Tch. I'll pass. I am not about to get naked in your yard using your garden hose," Miss Nyx said.

While the other apple member frowned deeply at her remarks, Miss Smith maintained her smile. She hobbled over to the said garden hose and came back. As she leveled the hose, there was a mischievous glint in the older mare's eyes. "Now, now, youngin'. I must insist and show you the southern hospitality we apples are known for..."

"Don't you fucking dare!" 

"I am afraid I will have to agree, Miss Smith," Madam Kingston said as she walked over to Miss Smith. She holds out her for the hose.

"You can call me Granny Smith. Everypony does," Miss Granny Smith said, handing the Madam the hose. "You know how to handle that?"

"Of course. After all, an employee must properly disciple her charges," Without further warning, Madam spray Miss Nyx down with water. Thankfully, the pressure was light enough for Miss Nyx to remain upright but forceful enough to push her back. By its end, all the dirt, mud, and grim were gone. "Now, if only I had some soap to rinse that dirty mouth of yours,"

Miss Nyx grumbles as the others laugh. That's when Miss Nyx glances down at the wet soil beneath her. With a single flick of her leg, mud and grim landed on the young masters. "Oops," Miss Heartstrings and Miss Pie covered their mouths at sight. Although, the latter was doing her best to prevent her laughter.

"Angie! You jerk!!!" Miss Crews yelled.

"Argh! My favorite shirt!" Young Donatello shrieked. Young Leonardo looks down at his ruined shirt with a deep frown and twitchy eye.

"Eww!!!" Young Cecelia said while Young Natalya stuck out her tongue in disgust.

Master Xavier wore a tight smile while a vein bulged on the side of his head. "Perhaps another extension is in order, right Nana?"

"..." Madam Kingston had a blank look on her face as she looked the masters over.

"Nana...?" Master Xavier held up his hands in placating gestures.

"Mrs. K. If you hose us don now, we shall become more powerful than you could ever imagine!" Young Donatello warned.

Madam Kingston thought about the threat for one second before spraying the hose. "If that is the case, then I won't worry so much about you,"

Over to our right, we could see Miss Smith's grandchildren laughing. "Now this is a hoot, ain't it, Big Mac?" Miss Applejack said.

"Eeyup," Mister Machnitosh laughed.

"Whoo-whee! I thought this visit was going to turn sour. Instead, Y'all look like you went raft-riding with no boat,"

"Hmm, say Applejack, you got something on your shirt," Miss Heartstrings stated.

"Huh, there's nothing there," As Miss Applejack down, Miss Heartstrings lobs the muddy soil on both the Apple siblings.

"LYRA!!! What you go and do that for?"

"Oh. Oh! Now you two need a shower!!" Miss Pie exclaimed.

"Granny..." Miss Applejack pleaded similarly to Master Xavier.

"Oh, don't get you to braid in a knot. I'm not going to waste more water on you," Miss Smith said to her grandchildren's relief. "Pinkie Pie's got it covered,"

"What?" Both siblings said as they turned to see Miss Pie with a canon she pulled from nowhere. 

Her eyes had a distinct manic look as she held the string. "Pull!" Miss Pie shouts as she pulls the line, launching several water balloons at the pair.







"Hmm, so, where to next?" Donatello asks. He was eating one of Miss Smith's apple pies. Having tried one for myself, I can safely say we'll be taking up on that offer to revisit.

"We're going to see my other best buddy in the world, Fluttershy," Miss Pie answered.

"Wasn't she the yellow one with the pink mane?" Juliet said.

"She seems well off from the town. Is there a reason for that?' Madam Kingston asks.

"Fluttershy isn't an outgoing pony. She is very reserved and acts as the town's veterinarian. Hence why she lives this far out to The Everfree. She can be near her 'little critters," Miss Heartstrings explained.

"So, she runs an animal shelter?" Xavier asks.

"Not exactly. We have a shelter in town. But, Fluttershy offers her expertise and provides medical care. Miss Heartstrings said that the animal trusts her because she can communicate better than any pony I know," Miss Heartstrings said.

"Oh, great. We're visiting the local cat lady," Angela said.

"How can she be that crazy cat lady with a dog if she has to whisper them? Cat ladies yell out a bunch of gibberish. You can't do much yelling if you're whispering," Miss Pie said innocently. I joined in the laugh at Miss Nyx's expense. It further solidifies the perceived innocents of this world.

"Hey, look! A bunny!" Cecelia explained. And sure enough, a snow-white bunny sat off to the side of the dirt road. I had to wonder why it was waiting there. 

Unfortunately, I could not ponder long before the young master rushed toward the animal. I was able to grab hold of Natalya while Master Xavier stopped Cecelia. "Cecelia. Natalya. You know the rule about going near stray animals. We don't know what new diseases they could carry," Madam Kingston said.

"Actually. That's Fluttershy's pet, Angel Bunny," Miss Heartstrings informs.

"Aw, did you get locked out? Oh! Come and meet my new human friends!" Miss Pie said, bring the rabbit closer. 

Miss Juliet was the first to approach. But, I notice this Angel Bunny frowning. The thought of the animal having a level of intelligence that broad stump me. So much so that I was slow to respond when the bunny bit into Juliet's outreaching hand. "AHH!" Juliet screamed.

"Julie!" Donatello shouted while Leonardo pulled her back.

"What the hell!" Angela hissed. There is some blood flow from the bite mark as Juliet winces. "You fucking little rat!"

Angela's outcry scared the little miscreant enough to leap from Miss Pie's hand. However, that only seems like the beginning of our troubles. Angel jumped from Miss Pie and began making gestures. Soon, an entire slew of animals, ranging from birds, foxes, and squirrels. The animals on the ground ran past our feet, throwing us off our balance. Tiny hummingbirds attempt to peck at our heads. Master Xavier and I had to pick up the twins when the squirrels tried to climb onto us. Thankfully, Miss Heartstrings caught all the animals in her magic. Understandably, Miss Nyx chose that moment to retaliate with rock in hand. Before she could take a step, however, a roar rang out. A grizzly bear of sizable portions burst from the foliage. The sudden appearance of such a dangerous animal threw us all off guard. Master Xavier, unfortunately, falls to the ground with Cecelia. That garnered the attention of the bear as it came barreling toward them. For the briefest moments, I felt the familiar grip of fear plague my heart. I thought this simple outing would turn into another tragedy to endure. However, Miss Pie stepped in front of the bear. She disapproved that I did not believe a cheerful mare like her could produce.

"Harry! What are you doing? You're scarring my new friends!" 

I had to rub my glasses clean after seeing the look of confusion and remorse on the bear. "Pinkie's right! What would Fluttershy say if she found out you all were acting like this," Miss Heartstrings said sternly.

"Are you kidding?" The familiar voice of Rainbow Dash said. She landed with a gust of wind. The proud smirk on her features told us she was behind this attack. "As if I ever let the crazy Hyoo-mans near my friends!

"Rainbow. Did you do this?" Miss Pie asks, hurt evident in her voice. 

"Did you see the looks on their faces? Ahaha! That was priceless! That was my best idea yet!"

"Rainbow, are you crazy--"

Miss Heartstrings didn't get to finish as Miss Nyx tackled Rainbow Dash to the ground. The smug look instantly shifted to one of fear as Miss Nyx cocked back her fist. "You spectral bitch!!!"

That's when our escort decided to intervene. One of the unicorn guards fires a beam of magic that strikes Miss Nyx on the shoulder before she can throw a punch. Miss Nyx rolled on the ground, clutching her shoulder from the severe burn. Master Leonardo ran to her aid, but Rainbow Dash recovered and tackled him to the guard. The guards joined her and held him down. Thankfully, Master Leonardo remained still and didn't resist. The Crews siblings called out to their brother before the guards began to surround us. Master Xavier and I stood protectively in front of the Madam and the twins as they drew their weapons. My concern grew when one of the guards approached Miss Nyx. When one of them hoisted her by the wrong arm, Miss Nyx shrieked before headbutting the guard in the muzzle. Then, she tossed said guard into the other two while stealing a weapon. Miss Nyx brandished the dagger with her good arm and gritted teeth. However, Miss Heartstrings vanished in a bright flash that hurt my eyes. When the pain faded, we saw Miss Heartstrings standing protectively in front of Miss Nyx.

"STOP!!!"

"Lyra! Get away from her! She's got a weapon!" Rainbow Dashed stated. 

"Angie isn't going to do anything as long as everypony stops hurting her!" Lyra turns a pleading glance at Mis Nyx. "Right?"

"Oh, yeah. It's all sunshine and rainbows while we all sing kumbayah. Except FUCK THAT!!!One of these cunts going pay for the burn on my arm!!!" Miss Nyx shouted out of anger and pain.

"Put down the weapon. You are under arrest for assaulting a royal guard and public figure!" One of the guards said.

"What? We didn't assault anyone! She provoked us!!!" Miss Juliet shouted.

"Rainbow Dash is an element bearer. That makes her a national hero and under the protection. We have standing orders--!"

"Your orders were to escort the humans while on our tour. What is your job while performing an escort?" Miss Heartstrings challenged! 

The guards looked less sure of themselves now. "To ensure the safety of the VIP. But, the parameters are different since the VIPs are human. We are to act should they prove a danger to the general public!"

"Yeah, Lyra! What's your deal?" Rainbow Dash asked indignantly.

"Rainbow. Julie is bleeding," Miss Pie finally said. 

Rainbow Dash flinches when she glances toward Miss Crews. "Oh, um. Well, no one told Angel to bite that hard!"

"Are you serious!?" Master Donatello shrieked.

"She's hurt real bad, Dashie! If this was a prank, it went too far!!!"

"The damage of that bite bled extensively. It needs treatment now!" I said.

"What is your name?" Miss Heartstrings asked, but it was more of a demand.

"Stern Visage; Sergent,"

"If you're on an escort mission, why didn't you protect the VIPs when the wild animals attacked?" 

We saw a stern face scrunch up at that. Before the guard could speak, Rainbow Dash spoke up. "Hey! Everypony knows these animals are with Fluttershy!"

"And since when do Fluttershy's animals attack others like that?" Miss Heartstrings gestures to Young Juliet's hand. "Did Fluttershy tell them to do that?"

"You know Fluttershy would never do that! The animals knew how dangerous the humans were! Especially that one!" Rainbow Dash points at Miss Nyx, who growls at her. 

"Angie acted in defense of herself after you provoked her! Maybe I should go to the princesses, who trusted me with the humans, and report all of your actions!"

"I just wanted to give them a good scare. Make the monkeys think twice about messing with my friends!"

"We were on tour, Rainbow! Are the trigger-happy guards not enough to make anypony think twice about trying anything!?" Miss Heartstrings was on the verge of yelling at this point. I'll also have to ask where she picked up that human pharsing. "And, now, she is hurt! Something that would not have happened if the guards stepped in and you didn't start. So, here's what's going to happen!" Miss Heartstrings marches right in front of the sergeant. "You're going to escort us to the hospital so Julie and Angie can get treated. And, you'll perform your duty, or I will inform the princesses. Is that a problem?"

Stern Visage wore a deep frown but nodded nonetheless. "...None, ma'am,"

Miss Heartstrings' attention quickly shifts back to Rainbow Dash. "And, you! I suggest you stop and think about what it means to be an element of harmony. Harmony applies to all species, not just ponies. If you would've come by their home, you would've known that. But, for now, you need to go, Rainbow,"

The guards allowed Master Leonard up as he quickly tended to Miss Nyx. Miss Nyx glared at Mister Crews, but he sent her a soft glance in return. The silent conversation continued for a minute before Miss Nyx relented and dropped her weapon. The two rejoined our group, and we began to walk away. "Urgh! I knew you were obsessed, but I never thought you would choose the humans over your friends. Well, not us. We know where we stand!" Rainbow Dash said, pointing to herself and Pinkie. The latter of the two looked conflicted and lost. "You wait, Lyra. When they hurt somepony, it'll be on your head. Come on, Pinkie!"

"B-b-but, Dashie--"

Miss Pie tried to say, but Rainbow Dash grabbed her hand and dragged her off. "Let's hurry and check on the girls. We need to let them know what happened!"

I must admit that it broke my heart to see that sweet mare look unsure about the situation. I notice the madam offers a sympathetic eye to Miss Pie. However, the mood cascaded down further with Miss Nyx's subsequent comments. "Fucking blue flying rat! It's on sight for her and that turncoat,"
> Chapter IX
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Ponyville - General Hospital - Nancy Kingston POV.]


The walk to the hospital was calm. Poor Julie and Angela were whimpering the whole trip. Well, Julie whimpered. Angela was a series of angry growls and curses. I wasn't going to add any of them to her maid term. But, we were going to talk about her actions. But I can't say I didn't want to cause some harm to myself. Our first time out of detainment and we were both shunned and attacked. A sign of what's to come has never been more unmistakable. We might need to hold another meeting. But, for now, getting treatment would help. The lobby was sparse. It almost resembled a skeleton crew. There was one receptionist—three mares sitting by the waiting area. And a janitor sweeping the floor. And, of course, we drew the eyes of everyone here the moment we stepped inside. The three mares on the bench trembled in fear. The janitor swept a little faster until he exited the lobby. And the receptionist wished death upon us with daggers in her eyes. Bugger all. She had whiteish-pink fur, an orange mane, and a standard blue nurse's garb. Miss Heartstrings sensed the palpable tension and walked up to the receptionist first.

"Hiya, Nurse Heartthrob," I swear these ponies must have loose jawlines. No bone structure should allow a smile that big.

"Lyra. I hear you're playing zookeeper these days," The nurse replied hotly. 

She's a cheery one already. But, I could tell that wasn't the reaction Lyra expected. "Um, no. That would be more Fluttershy's thing. The crown called on my cryptozoologist expertise to help guide my new friends in this crazy world of ours. More on that later. Julie and Angie are hurt. Juliet got bit by a bunny, and Angie received first-degree mana burns. We need--"

"Did you make an appointment?"

"No, it's--"

"We only allow walk-ins at the end of the week. You have to make an appointment,"

"That's only for non-emergencies, which we do not have. Look!" Lyra gestures to the injured in our party. 

Nurse Heart had the nerve to roll her eyes as she spoke. "Names?"

"Juliet Crews and Angela Nyx," I answered.

The nurse glances up at me, probably because of my tone. But, I met her glare with my own. Today started proper, and now we're dealing with this nonsense. "First time?"

"Yes,"

"One moment,"

As she left, I turned to Lyra. "Do you have a way to contact Doctor Hooves?"

"Well, yes. Doctor Whooves is supposed to be my partner in this. But he was busy today. That stallion seems to pop in and out,"

"Alright, but can you contact him for me anyway?"

"I can send him a letter via dragon fire. Why?"

I almost let out a sigh at the young mare's naivete. "Lyra, that nurse isn't back. Or she will take her time in coming back. And I would not let my girls suffer for someone's else prejudice,"

Lyra winces at my tone. But, I felt a bit miffed after everything that happened today. "I can send a letter to him. Heartthrob might be having a bad week. She's always been--"

"Rude, stand-offish, racist?" Donny said.

"H-hehe, wouldn't be specist?" Julie corrected. Leo gently rubs her shoulder while applying pressure to her injury with one of Xavier's cloth.

"I don't give a shit! Someone give me some morphine! Anesthetic! Or Benedryl! I can feel my blisters bubbling!!!" Angela shouted.

"Aah!!!" One of the mares on the bench screamed. We all turned to the cream-colored one with a two-toned red mane. The mare in question freezes when we look at her and covers her mouth. Getting a good look at the three, one mare of cream colored with a two-toned red mane. She wore a green dress shirt with blue jeans, and a rose in her hair. The other was light purple with a lime green mane. She wore a yellow strapped shirt with a daisy picture and a white skirt. The last mare was a darker shade of pink with a two-toned blonde mane that sported a Lilly flower. She wore an orange shirt with black and gold stripes on the sleeves, a yellow skirt, the same stripe pattern cross from the left, and three Lilly flowers on the right. The pink mare that yelled looked embarrassed as she shied away from our gazes. 





"Lilly, Daisy, and Roseluck. What are you three visiting for?" Lyra asks the timid mares.

"O-oh. It's - uh - nothing really," Lilly stated.

"Y-yeah, just a simple check-up. Nothing out of the ordinary. Right, Roseluck?" Daisy said with just as much nervousness.

"...Um, yeah. Let's go ahead and come back another time. We shouldn't be wasting the nurses' and doctors' time," Roseluck said as they gave their best impression of Pinkie's disappearing act. It was probably for the best that they left.

"Lyra. I am only willing to wait five minutes. There should be no reason it would take longer for the nurse to return,"

"Can you at least make it ten? Sure, it's empty out here, but something could be happening in the back. And, it might not be what you think," Lyra pleaded.

I relented under that doughy-eyed stare. "Ten minutes, that's all,"

"Thank you. You'll see that you have nothing to worry about at all. I bet Heartthrob will be back any second now,"

Unfortunately for Lyra's optimism, it did not take a second. As I knew it would happen, we waited at the reception area for eight minutes. The crummy place resembled the scene from the walking dead when Rick Grimes woke up. I felt horrible for Lyra. Every second chipped away at her faith in her fellow ponies' good nature. It would seem this world's inhabitants have some preconceived notions of superiority about themselves. At least, the ponies do. We're still up in the air about the other species. Regardless, I place a hand on Lyra's shoulder.

"Sorry, love--"

"Oh! Look! They're back!" Lyra exclaimed. 

Well, bugger me then, the nurse returned—this time with two other ponies. One was a white mare with a pink mane and a similar nurse attire. The other was a chocolate brown stallion with a three-toned black mane. I would've said the Doctor looked cartoonish if we weren't in a pastel-colored pony land straight out of Natalya's story books. He even had an oversized head mirror. Looking at the Doctor and his new nurse, I saw that the mare was highly nervous. Several beads of sweat poured from her forehead as her gaze focused on the boys.

In comparison, the Doctor seemed to have professional indifference to our presence. But, he was just as nervous. It almost felt like he was about to deliver the news that he had lost a patient. Lyra, however, was more than ecstatic. "Hey, Doctor Horse,"

"Fuck me running. Really?" Angela stated. 

"At least he's not here to horse around," Donatello jokes.

"J-Joke about it later. I need help now," Julie winces.

Leonardo walks up to the Doctor, who visibly tenses as he speaks. "My sister and friend--"

"I am afraid I will have to ask you all to leave," Doctor Horse stated.

"What!?" Lyra shriek. "You can't refuse to help! Look at their injuries. She is bleeding profusely, and she has mana burns. Possibly second or even third degree!"

"I understand, but we've run their names, and nothing came up. None of your companions here are in the Equestrian registry. And, in case you forget, Miss heartstrings, there is a standing law against administering medical aid to unregistered creatures. Do you recall the Clover Shroud incident?"

Lyra's ears went against her head as she flinched back. She went downcast as she realized the mistake. "But..."

"If you like, you could go to the veterans for the rabbit wound. They may even have--"

"Do I look like a fucking dog to you!?" Angela stated angrily.

"With the way you are barking, who could tell?" Heartthrob said in a snide tone.

I don't know how, but Angela pulled off an excellent lunatic face and smiled at the nurse. "Hey, I'm a bad bitch on a good day. Are you sure you want to see my bite?" That got the nurse to duck behind the Doctor. I felt the girls scamper behind me when they got a lot at Angela. Something about that face just sent off warning bells. The ponies seem to lose all their color and are as pale as the tile floor.



(Something like this, but the eyes are much wider and bug-eyed because of the pain.)


Before a murder could take place, the door behind us opened up. We turned around to see Doctor Whooves stroll through the lobby doors. "Good dusk, everyone. See what I did there? Good dusk. No one ever says that, but it's a part of the daily cycle. Well, I give the dusk its rightful due. Now, what about mana burns and a rabbit wound?" I had no idea what this stallion was saying, but Julie and Angela showed him their wounds. "Aw. Hold on a moment..." I just noticed that he reached into his bag and pulled out a strip pad and an aerosol can. He walks to Angela first while pulling a layer from the strip. That's when the normalcy ends as the stallion licks the strip and puts it on Angela's arm.

"Eh!? What the hell!? Did you spit on my arm!?!" Angela exclaimed.

"It's a fast-acting solvent paper. Perfect mana burns, but active through saliva,"

"Ewwww!!!" Cecelia said while Natalya stuck out her tongue in disgust.

"Are you still in pain?" Doctor Whooves asks.

"No," Angela said in confusion, poking the pad tentatively.

"Ha, good. Now for miss Julie here," The Doctor inspects Julie's hand. "Oof. A rather nasty bite and from a familiar little rodent,"

"Y-you know that bunny?" Julie asks while Doctor Whooves sprays a solution onto Juliet's wound.

"Oh, yes. I treated Angel for some worms he got from eating a rotten carrot. He was a funny way of adhering to good advice. Although he never drew blood to this extent,"

"Doctor, a moment, please," Doctor Horse said. A forlorn express forms on his features as the bleeding stops and the wound begins to close. He wraps the damage in fresh bandages before walking to Doctor Horse and the two nurse. "How is it you came across these supplies? I've never seen such fast-acting treatments. They don't appear to be EIB standards,"

"Well, unfortunately for you lot, Doctor. I can't disclose that information,"

"Using illegal medical practices can have you disbarred and jailed!" Nurse Heartthrod stated.

"Quite true. Luckily..." Doctor Whooves pulls out a scroll from the bag and unfolds it. All the ponies gasp for it in shock from the stylish pendant resting on it.

The ponies all gasp while I turn to Lyra for an explanation. "That's a royal pendant. It symbolizes the complete trust of the crown. It pretty much allows a pony to do whatever they like because they answer directly to the princesses themselves,"

"Huh, doc's got clout? Nice," Donatello said.

"That's right. It certainly helps my projects when I can show the authenticity to the Princess. But, then again, keeping the hypocritic oaf isn't a hard practice," Now, the doctors and nurses frown. "Now, let's be off then. Dinner time is right around the corner, and I can't wait to try that banana pudding,"

And with that, we left the hospital. Our armed formed their little circle around us for the trek back home. However, Xavier had a quizzical look about him and spoke to the Doctor. "Doctor Whooves. A moment?"

"Sure. What do you need?"

"The Doctor there mentioned something about a Clover Shroud incident concerning their refusal. What exactly is this incident?"

"Yeah, I never heard of any hospital refusing service. They usually drop massive fines in your pocket," Donatello said.

"Ah, yes. A bit of a tragedy that incident. You see, around fifty years ago, Canterlot estate hospital got patients. Now, back then, any creature could receive aid regardless of whether they were citizens. The problem was that this mare - Clover Shroud - was already dead,"

"Oh! Was she a ghost pony?" Cecelia asks.

"Haha. No. What I mean is Clover died a little over a month before, and some creature took her appearance,"

"Pfft. Like what? Invasion of the bodysnatchers?" Angela joked.

"That's not entirely inaccurate. What if I told you there exists a species capable of completely taking over your life in this world? Your looks, your speech, even your memories if the rumors hold any truth to them. The perfect infiltrators - the changelings," There was a chill that went up my spine when he said.

"C-come on, doc. Nobody's that perfect. We would know the difference," Juliet stated nervously. She sounded a lot better now, at least.

"Well, you might be able to spot some discrepancy, so long as you know each other well enough,"

"They wouldn't fool Nattie and me," Cecelia said, puffing her chest as Natalya nodded.

"Haha, yes, the old twin magic. But, changelings are great at utilizing metamorphic magic. The one impersonating Clover Shroud was able to sneak into the nursery and, unfortunately, abduct several newborn foals,"

Some of the guards stumbled in their stride as the rest looked at Whooves like he grew a second tail. "She stole the babies?" Xavier asked carefully.

The Doctor's cheerful demeanor fell once more as he explained. "Yes, See, changelings don't consume nourishment like ponies, or even humans do. They feed on love,"

"Like dopamine?" Leonardo said, earning a shocked look from his siblings. "What?"

"Aww. correct, don't forget norepinephrine. And who has an abundance of those two chemicals?"

"...Newborn babies and their parents..." I gasped out. The implication hits all of us like a freight train.

"And, with newborns being extremely co-dependent on their parents. While, at the same time, not exactly imprinting on them. Just about anyone can take a baby on their own," Mr. Chen stated.

"The worse part was when the foals return. While they harvest the love from the infants, the changeling can't be bothered with caring for them. Instead, they preserve them in cocoons. Perfectly fine for adults but lackluster and ill-suitable for foals. All that remained of them were dried-up husks. They say wails of anguish from the parents in Canterlot reached the ears of everybody in Equestria. That's why stricter laws regarding unregistered creatures entering Equestrian borders are in place. If you were not born, raised, or filed the necessary paperwork, you would receive no aid. Which--"

"--Is why our sudden appearance might've earned us more than a few second glances. Bugger all..." Xavier finished.

"Tch. It's not our fault we got shitted out of the universe's asshole," Angela mumbled.

"Thank you, Angela!" I warned. There is a limit to how much I will allow. We got back to the mansion just in time for the guard shift. Hopefully, the nocturnal ones will be less trigger-happy. But I'm not holding my breath.







[Golden Oaks Library - Pinkie's POV.]


I sat down with my arms crossed. I was mad. No, I was madder than angry. I was super duper mad. Rainbow got all the girls together. But, it wasn't for something fun like a sleepover party. It was like saying mean things about my new friends' party. But, it wasn't a party I would send invitations to because parties are supposed to be fun, and I was having anything but fun. We were sitting in Twilight's foyer in a circle while Rainbow told everyone about what she did. Mostly everyone here didn't seem to have a problem with it. But I know that's not right or funny.

"Hahaha. You girls should've seen the look on their faces when Harry came charging at them. I thought that blonde one was going to pee her pants," Rainbow laughed. 

"That's not funny..." I grumbled, but I didn't say it too loud.

"That does sound like a good one, Dash," Spike said. He came from the kitchen with a tray full of cookies and milk. I wasn't feeling hungry at all.

"I don't know, Rainbow. It sounds like you gave them a good scare," Mythic Entry said from the chair.

"Eh, it's what they deserve anyway," Dashie said. I couldn't believe it! "Then that crazy red-maned Hyoo-mane jumped on top of me! Who knows what would've happened if the guards didn't blast her,"

"I figured that varmint would stir up some trouble. That Hyo-mane was ornerier than a nest full of lightning flies. I guess a dip in the muck and a hose shower wasn't enough to get that stink out," Applejack said. I picked up some cookies and bit down hard on them.

"Ahaha. Did Granny use the hose? That's awesome!"

"No, it's not!" I said. A lot louder this time.

"Pinkie, darling? Don't talk with your mouth full," Rarity scolded me. 

Oh, right, I should swallow first. I gulped down the cookies and tried to speak again. "Das--"

"And you said you were following the humans for the whole tour?" Twilight said, writing something in a letter.

"What's with the letter, Twilight?" I asked.

"A report for the Princess. She'll know doubt want to know that her guards came under attack," 

What!? "That's not--"

"Yeah, maybe now we can get those apes out of here," Rainbow said.

"I'm just glad none of my animal critters got hurt," Not you too, Fluttershy! She was petting that little white meanie while he looked all smug.

I stood up, getting everyone's attention while picking up the cookie tray and my milk. I walked in front of Fluttershy and stared down at her. I was doing my best to use Big Nannie's disappointed face I've seen her use before dumping the cookies on her. Before the girls could say anything, I moved to Rainbow and poured the milk all over her. "What the hay, Pinkie!?" Dashie exclaimed.

"It serves you right for that bad prank!"

"What in sam hill has gotten into you, Pinkie?" Applejack asks.

"Was my cookies that bad?" Spike asked.

"None of you have any right to talk about my new friends that!" I said again, more firmly this time. I caught a glimpse of myself in a nearby window. My mane was going straight again. I wouldn't say I liked that.

"Pinkie, darling. I think you might be confused," Rarity tried to get closer, but I think my stare made her back off.

"She's right, Pinkie. We all knew those humans would show their true colors the moment quartine was over," Twilight tried to say.

"What "true colors?" Was it when Rainbow sicked a bunch of animals on them? Did Julie try and eat angel after he bit her and made her bleed!?"

"Are you forgetting when the red--"

"Angie. Her name is Angie. And, she only did that because of what you did! What kind of crazy prank involves wild animals running at you with fangs and claws?"

"Come on, Fluttershy's animals are not dangerous. Those Hyo-manes are," Spike said, and I only got more mad.

"Humans. H. U. M. A. N. And, while we might know Flutershy's critters, the Kingstons and Crews didn't. Anybody would freak out at the site of a big bear or rabbit making you bleed! Double C and Nat were scared out of their minds!!!"

"One of the Hyo-manes - I mean - humans were bleeding because of Angel?" Fluttershy said, looking down at the meanie in shock. The rascally rabbit started to squirm under Flutter's looks. Take that; you mean old rabbit.

"Yes! We went to the hospital and everything. Expect Doctor Horse told them to leave. He told us to see if the vet would help!"

"Why not? They're nothing but crazy animals too," Rainbow shot back.

I growled while pointing at Applejack. "Were they animals when they helped out on your farm and did a good job!?" 

"Oh, well, um..." Applejack stumbles.

I pointed at Rarity next. "Did Xavy and his sister act like a bunch of meanies when they were in your shop?"

"...No, I found Mr. Kingston's presence and overall fashion sense quite respectful and refreshing. And his sister is rambunctious and not well-behaved. Plus, I did say something about wanting to talk shop, as it were," Rarity said in a subdued tone.

I pointed at Twilight next. "Was Big Nannie disrespectful here in the library?" 

"No, they were delightful," Mythic said. Spike and Twilight glared at him as he ducked behind his book.

"Ok, so some of the humans may be less aggressive. But, Angie fits the criteria of malicious human nature from the textbook--"

Twilight tried to throw some facts at me, but I threw down some Pinkie facts. "I can't believe the most studious mare I know is taking pointers from an outdated book. You have a chance to see what humans are truly like if you come with Lyra and me!"

"Don't mention that traitor. She stopped the guards from--"

Dashie was about to badmouth another friend, but I didn't let her. "--From what? Is it defending each other from a meanie? If the humans did the same to you and called it a prank, wouldn't you get mad? Angie reminds me a lot of you, Dashie,"

"What!? I'm nothing like that psycho!!!"

"She's loyal and ready to defend her friends whenever her friends are hurt. Does that ring any bells?"

"...You bring up some good points, Pinkie. But, it's hard to trust them after everything we know," Mythic Entry said. "Even if they don't seem that bad from first glance,"

"Big Nannie likes to drink her tea to soft tunes on her stereo system music box. Double C likes to paint in the afternoon. She once drew a picture of me that came out super good. Nattie is good at chess. Did any of you know that?" I said.

"..." Everyone was silent. Alright, let's bring this home.

"Then, maybe you all should knock on their door and talk with them. It's not fair for everyone keeps assuming the worse without giving the humans a chance. It makes us all look like big fat jerks!"

"Um, don't you mean everypony?" Spike asked, and I just rolled my eyes.

"No, I don't. Big Nannie explained to me how exclusive and insensitive that is to non-ponies. Even to you, Spike," I let out a big sigh and walked toward the door. But, I felt someone grab my hand. Turning around, I saw it was Dashie.

"Alright, that's it. I'm not letting you go back there. Those Hyou-manes are messing with your head," Rainbow said.

"I told you how to say it..." I hissed. Uh, oh. "Now, let me go!"

"Not until you quit acting crazy. I know it's you being you, but you can't be that dense. Those apes are trying to drive us apart!"

"That isn't true. Now, let me go!" Please let go, Dashie. I'm starting to slip.

"No! If you were a real friend, you wouldn't be picking them over us--"

Before I could do anything else, I turned around and shoved Dashie off of me. She fell on her flanks while the girls gasped. I caught another glance from the mirror and saw that my mane was straight now. I wasn't in charge anymore. "...A real friend wouldn't try and make me choose. A real friend would trust my words. The humans didn't break anything apart. You did that yourself!" No!!! Don't say that! It's going too far!!! But, it was too late. I was already out the door and marching towards the mansion.







[Fluttershy's POV.]


"What is wrong with her!?" Rainbow exclaimed.

"Pinkie's never shown this level of aggression before. Scratch that. She's never shown any aggression at all," Twilight said.

It was true. Pinkie's never had that look in her eyes. It felt so cold, like she was staring a hole into our very souls. Did she have the stare too? "It was those Hyo-manes! They did something to her and Lyra!" Rainbow accused. 

"Come on, now, RD. Use your head. The guards have been in and out of that fancy house for a month. And, not to mention all them Canterlot doctors and the such. We would've known if something terrible had happened by now," Applejack said.

"Well, Pinkie is a bit impressionable. Perhaps their sordid behavior has rubbed off on her?" Rarity offers. I hope that isn't the case.

"Or, maybe, I'd say you got what was coming to Ya,"

"What?!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"You can't go around grabbing a mare when she is trying to leave. She isn't a filly, Rd. And you ain't her parents,"

"And, what you said wasn't very nice either..." I mumbled, but I don't think anypony heard me. 

Rainbow's ears flattened against her head, but she kept her stance. "Well, no, but I am her friend. We all are. And that means we're supposed to help her when she is in trouble. And those monkeys are nothing but trouble!"

"Maybe we should try to look at it from Pinkie's perspective. She has been the only one besides Lyra interacting with them. Our interactions have been brief. But, what are your opinions on humans?" Mythic asked.

"Honestly? Aside from that, Angie filly, I don't have too much bad to say about the others. The youngins are just youngins, but they have many more manners than most fillies their age. Although, one filly didn't talk much at all. The blonde human mare is a bit reserved but pleasant enough. The stallions seem to fall in line like ours do. But, the short is a bit of a rodeo clown. The one with the glasses is like the scheming type. The older one feels like an ex-guard. The tall one might be another varmint to keep an eye on. He didn't talk too much, but he didn't flinch when he saw Big Mac. And the older human mare is the alpha of their little group. I think she and Granny has that old pony connection,"

"I, admittedly, found Mr. Kingston to be reputable. His eye for quality work is impressive, and his fashion sense is outstanding. I did tell him I would seek collaboration with him. From a purely business standpoint, I assure you all," Rarity said. I can see she was more unsure about her feelings about most humans. "But, I must say that I find that Angie character utterly horrid! Her crassness surpasses even Rainbow's. And she looks and acts like a hoodlum from the streets of Chicoltgo! Oh, I have never been the victim of such vulgarity before. It's too much to bear!" Rarity made a big show of it by falling on the couch.

"Yeah, she called me a late bloomer!" Spike said indignantly. 

"Yeah! She-- Wait, what do you mean by that, Rarity!?"

"Nothing!" Rarity said quickly.

"Hmm, I suppose out of all the humans, Angela displays the textbook behavioral patterns. But, we need more evidence to make a good case for Princess Celestia. Perhaps we can get closer to them," Twilight said.

I gasped out as I hugged Angel Bunny in my arms. "You want us to become friends with the humans?"

I don't know if I wanted that. All the stories we learned about humans are frightening beyond belief. I remember when our nanny told my brother and me scary stories as foals. One was how human foals stole the wings off of pegasi while they slept. I've been checking my closets, drawers, and under the bed for the entire quartine. Not to mention the nightmares of finding all my critters eaten by them.

"Yeah, what gives? You want us to hang out with those murderous, rape-happy psychos!?" Rainbow exclaims.

"Think about it. With the humans under constant watch--"

Twilight began, but Spike interrupted. "--You mean like you and your telescope every night?" That earned him a pillow to his head.

"--They won't do anything untold. But, if we can get the humans to lower their guard. We might--"

"Nope!" This time, Applejack interrupts Twilight. She wore a stern look as she explained. "Sorry, Twi. But I'm not going to be going along with that plan,"

"Why not?" Rainbow asks.

"You are asking us to lie. Now, I don't right trust humans. But I do trust Pinkie. And Granny vouched for their work ethic back at the farm. You all know Granny is a good judge of character. So, I reckon that's enough to give humans a shot," Applejack tips her hat and walks to the door. But not before she turns to Rainbow Dash. "You best apologize to Pinkie the next time you see her. I can't imagine how she must be feeling being in the middle of all this," With that said, Applejack walks out of the library.

"...I must admit, Twilight. That does seem disingenuous. While I will remain vigilant in my dealings with Mr. Kingston, it won't be through falsehoods. After all, we have a moral obligation to fulfill. And, we should resort to unsavory methods to do so. Anyway, darling, I must be off. It's past Sweetie's bedtime," Rarity waved us goodbye as she left next.

The library was silent for a while before Mythic went to Twilight and took her letter. Before she could say anything, Mythic rips up. "There, we won't be needing that,"

"Mythic! You wasted a perfect letter!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Sorry, Twilight, the majority vote wins. No backhanded methods," Mythic said.

"What majority? Only Applejack and Rarity voted no. You, Spike, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and I vote yes,"

"I vote no," Mythic said with a smile.

"What?"

"I know, curious, isn't it?" Twilight had a look of betrayal on her, but Mythic continued. "My reason is that we shouldn't send any call to arms when we don't have sufficient enough evidence. Right now, the events at Fluttershy's cottage paint the guards and Rainbow Dash in a bad light,"

"Well, the majority is still yes--"

"Actually. I, um, obtain. If that's alright...." I said. The others looked at me like I was crazy, but I had to consider how Pinkie felt.

"So, what? There's no vote? We do nothing!?" Rainbow asks in an exasperated tone.

"No, since there is no tie-breaker, we'll compromise. I won't write a letter to the Princess just yet, but those of us that voted yes will enact the plan," Twilight explained.

"You got it, Twilight!" Spike saluted. 

"Oh, yeah! We'll be like secret agents! just tell me whatever you need, Twi. I'll be your eyes in the sky!" Rainbow said.

I felt Angel Bunny yawn in my arms as IO looked up to Rainbow. "Oh my, it's getting late. Rainbow, would you mind escorting me back to my cottage?"

"Sure, Flutters. Lately, Twilight, Spike, and Mythic," Rainbow said as we left the library. "So, what's the real reason you didn't vote with us?"

"Oh, well, I was thinking about a couple of things. What Pinkie said, and how we met the humans. Then I thought about the night we faced Nightmare Moon. Do you remember that manticore?"

"It's hard to forget something trying to eat us,"

Except it wasn't. It was cranky because of the thorn in its paw. We assumed it was dangerous because of everything we know about manticore. But all it took was a little kindness to get it to show its gentler side,"

"Ok, so what's your point?"

"What if the humans are like that manticore? What if we show them a little kindness, and they show us that they are not as bad as we think?"

Rainbow sighs as she puts a hand on my shoulder. "Flutters. A manticore is a manticore. They hunt for food. They are territorial. If they get hurt, they lash out. A manticore is a wild animal that does what it needs to survive. But, the Hyou-manes? They know right from wrong, but they still choose to be evil. Are you sure you want to let your guard down around a bunch of thinking dangerous killers?"

"Well, no, I guess..."

"Good. Don't worry. Those monkeys will slip up, and I'll be there to help kick some Hyou-mane flanks!" 

We got to my cottage, and I waved Rainbow goodbye. Opening the door, I saw all my critters greet. I was glad that they weren't hurt, but there was something I had to say to them. Walking over to the couch, I dropped Angel there, where he woke up immediately. He rubbed his bottom and made angry gestures at me for disturbing him. But, I had my stare in full effect. He flinched back and tried to look sympathetic. I almost stopped before Pinkies words came flooding back. So, I kept my gaze and looked at all my critters to get their attention. 

"Angel. I heard that you and the rest of the critters let Rainbow into talking you into scaring the humans!" Angel gave me a swallow nod. When Rainbow said she would handle things, I didn't think she meant like that. All of you know better than to attack other ponies - Oh - other creatures like that!" I heard a shuffle behind me as Harry made a groaning sound. "I know all the stories about humans, Harry. But did those humans do anything?" I looked around for an answer, but none of my critters said anything. So, I turned back to Angel. "Pinkie said you bit down hard enough to make one of them bleed! How can any of you claim to be defending against evil creatures if your actions are just as bad or even worse?" Angel finally looked down in shame. I wanted to pat his forehead, but I had to be firm here. "Next time we see the humans, I expect an apology from all of you. Now, it is time for bed!"







[Ponyville Guard Barracks - Moonlit POV.]


Welp, it's back to the grind. The sols were coming in for the trade-off. I think I'll try those fruit roll-ups the twins got stashed next. As I got my helmet on, there was a loud commotion with the sols. I ran out with the rest of the Lu's to see what the hay the sun drinkers were doing. We go out to see the sols swarming Captain Shining Armor with Bitzkerg leading the helm. I spotted my brother in the back and moved toward him. As I got closer, I saw another sol bleeding from the snout. It looked like somepony introduced the poor sap with the brunt end of a Warhammer. Morning noticed my approach as I went to ask for details. 

"What happened here, Breezie?"

"It was the humans! That Angela one. She attacked the guard and stole one of his weapons!"

"What? Are you sure you heard that right?"

Breeze shot me a smug grin as he continued. "I told you. The convicts would try something the moment they had wiggle room. It happened during the tour earlier. Now the lieutenant is petitioning the Captain to cart them away,"

"Captain. Look at our recruit. His muzzle resembles Rainbow falls with only the color red! We knew this would happen once the quarantine lifted. Let me take a contingent to that eyesore of brick and mortar and finally rid Equestrians of this plague!" 

Captain Armor frowned as he nodded his head. "Alright, Lieutenant. Let's start preparing!" I felt a ping of guilt and panic as the sols began to cheer. However, before any of them could move, somepony cleared their throat.

"I'd belay that order if I were you, Captain," We turned to the entrance to see another bat pony. He was as tall as the Captain, if slightly older, judging by some of the grays in his silver mane. The stallion's posture was like any other guard. But, the scar on his dark purple-colored fur and muzzle set him apart. I noticed the medals on his uniform and went to salute the other lunars. 

"And, who might you be, guard?" Captain Shining asked before saluting himself.

"I'm Silent Veil, newly appointed Captain of the Lunar guard. You'll have to forgive my absence as the paperwork just went through for my transfer to this station. Regardless, acting on that order will prove ill-advised,"

"Ill-advised? Does staying in the dark for so long make you blind? All the guards on escort detail report the same thing!!!" Lieutenant Blitzkerg said just short of yelling. Many of us bat ponies frowned at that jib.

However, the new lunar Captain was hardly fazed, "Then, everypony on that detail is a liar. But, what can we expect from the overeager solar guard," Ouch, That's not going to help the faction tension.

Captain Armor pulls back the lieutenant as he takes an aggressive step forward. "What do you mean by that, captain?"

Captain Veil pulls out an Astro gem as the incident plays out, Which wasn't how the sols said it went down. "I received this gem from Doctor Whooves on my way over. I also have sworn statements from him and a Lyra Heartstrings. Now, a question I now pose is how is it the escort detail didn't respond when the VIPs were under duress  Yet, aggressively responded against said VIP?"

"You saw it. The monkeys attack an element bearer--"

The lieutenant tried to argue, but the Captain cut him off  "--Who orchestrated an attack utilizing wild animals beforehand? So, do the solar guard attack those defending themselves while letting perpetrators run amok?"

"There is more to the issue than what you are insinuating, captain," Captain Armor spoke with an edge.

"I see only two possible issues  Either the morning unit is grossly negligent or utterly incompetent," Captain Veil said in the same tone.

"What are you, a monkey-lover?" The guard with the bloody muzzle said.

Captain Veil glares down at the pony as he steps toward him. "What I am is a pony that takes their job seriously. I don't care about the humans. I do care about our reputation. I care about our ability to perform our duties. And, I believe you should care about the report of your conduct I will write to the princesses!"

Whoo boy. Did that make this sol nearly soil himself? However, Captain Armor steps in again. "I appreciate you bringing the Astro gem to my attention. As Captain, we must use our best judgment to handle any situation with all the correct information. However, any conduct reports regarding the Solar guards fall under my jurisdiction. Let us respect each other's boundaries if we are to serve the country properly. Solar guards; you are dismissed,"

Captain Veil nods in agreement, but Lieutenant Blitzkerg has some reservations. "But, sir! We can't let the chimps get away with this!!!"

"I said dismissed, lieutenant!" 

The rest of the sols begrudgingly left. I shot Breezy a grin of my own while he rolled his eyes. But, my ear twitched, and I managed to pick up something the lieutenant said on his way out. "Those Celestia bucking chimps are going to pay!"

That never sounds good. Sometimes having an acute hearing is a joy and a curse. I will have to keep an eye out for Lieutenant hothead there. I turned back to the Captain and saw him glaring at us with a frown. "Well, why are you standing here gawking? Report to your station!"

"Yes, sir!!!" I said with my colleagues. I might have to wait a bit on those roll-ups.







[Townhall - Mayor Mare's POV.]


'Take the rest of the night off, I said. It's only a small meeting with the council, and I can handle that on my own; I said  Next time, don't send your assistant home earlier...' I grumbled in thought. 

What was supposed to be a simple meeting with the town representative turned into a circus when the flower trio rushed in her with a mob of ponies. The fuss was about our new residents as if having the market closed for the day wasn't enough to diminish the fear. That act alone would set back the town's profit margin; these ponies were looking to stage a full-scale riot. I stood on the podium. The other representatives were spread out evenly from my left and right as the mob shouted and screamed over each other  After a full minute of nonsensical gibberish, I took out a blow horn and pressed down on the button.

"Now then, if you have any grievous, please cite them in a civilized manner. Lilly, Daisy, Roseluck, You three were leading the charge; what is the problem?"

"It was horrible, Mayor. The hoo-mins came to the hospital!" Lilly said.

I blinked several times before letting out a long, drawn-out sigh. "Lilly, everypony goes to the hospital. I am sure they were coming in for a check-up,"

"More like they were terrorizing the hospital staff. The red-maned one started screaming for drugs. I think that one is an abuser!" Daisy stated.

"What were the drugs she was asking for?"

"Oh, um, we don't know. It was something we had never heard of before, But that red one had a wild look in its eyes!" Roseluck said. 

"Ok, did the hoo-mins appear hurt?"

The flower sister looked amongst themselves with uncertainty. The panic and fear they were wearing started to leave. "Well, I did see that the red one was holding her arm..." Lilly said.

"And, I think another was bleeding from its hand..." Daisy added.

Another sigh left my muzzle. I started to piece together and went, "And, you three left as soon as the hoo-mins entered the building, correct?" The mares gave me a nod. "So, you don't know what went on after you left, correct?" Another nod from the excitable mares, but more shallow  "So, it is safe to assume that you three panicked and left the building to escape from the hoo-mins who were more than likely at the hospital for injuries, correct?" As they backed into the crowd, the flower mares gave me a sheepish smile.

"That doesn't change the fact that those savages are a threat. They forced us to close down the market!!!" A mare called out. I looked to see that it was Carrot Top.

I had to shake my head at the new outburst. How quickly ponies tend to forget  "All the store owners came to me requesting to close up shop because you caught wind of Pinkie's plan for a tour. Have any of you returned to your businesses before coming here? Was there any damage to your stalls?"

"W-well, no. but we lost out on a day's profits!"

"That was entirely your choice to do, so  Ponyville is no stranger to exotic visitors and tour groups. We can't react to mass hysteria whenever something happens outside the norm, Especially when it comes to other species, or else we risk looking intolerant,"

"It's not any ponies' fault other species act like savages!"

"Yeah, What about those carnivores? How can we act civil with creatures that want to sink their teeth into us?"

"Those monkeys are no different. I heard one of them attack the royal guard!"

There were several gasps at this newest claim. I looked into the crowd and saw another trio of sisters. Honey Bee. Honey Dew and Honey Suckle. Two Earth ponies and a pegasus. "That is a serious claim. And one without merit. Why haven't the humans been carted away if such a thing did happen?"

"We have a friend in the guard. One of those primates went crazy and attacked the guard with some wild animals!" Honeydew said.

"I heard the humans can shoot lasers from their eyes!"

"I heard the monkeys can grow taller than the princess!"

"I heard they have some crazy mind control powers. That's why the guards haven't anything!"

More and more ponies began spouting what they believed the humans could do. Most of their theories came straight out of a foal's book. It wasn't until a loud ding went off that everyone went silent. I turned over to see Granny Smith with a belle. The apples practically built Ponyville, so if this old mare wanted silence. She got it. "You young ponies spend too much time with your head in the breeze today. I met with the human at the farm. And, they didn't have half that manure you're all spouting,"

"Be that as it may, Granny Smith, the humans have already disrupted our way of life with their sudden appearance," Filthy Rich said from my left. 

"Urgh! I don't see why we are discussing this farce. We all know the reputation of those mongrels. That should be enough for imprisonment," Spoiled Rich said next to her husband.

"That's nothing but a bunch of goggble gook. I can name quite a few bad apples amongst us ponies that would make them humans blush. What came down to mah farm was just another family living by the day," 

"And we're supposed to trust the word of a senile--"

"Perhaps, Miss Smith has a point," Filthy Rich interrupts. He leans into his wife's ear and whispers something that makes her scowl. 

I sent her a disapproved frown myself. Whatever she was about to say wouldn't have gone over well. Regardless, Granny's words seemed to affect the citizens. "Alright, I will personally speak with the Captain about what happened during today's events. But, there will be no more flash mobs or market closing. As for the humans, I can not force any of you to interact with them. I can say to use your best judgment on that for yourselves. However, I do suggest talking with them. There's no harm in showing any creature the Ponyville spirit!" I put on my best smile as I said this. Unfortunately, there were mixed results. Ponies began to file out of the building, looking disgruntled and dissatisfied. I sighed again as I knew this would not be the last time the citizens would air grievances against our new guests.







[Later that evening - Kingston Manner - ??? POV.]


"Are you sure we want to do this?"

"You heard bet. All we have to do is get one Huu-men thing, and we win. Rotten and Spoiled will never bother us again. Diamond and Silverspoon will stop teasing us. And the whole class will like us!"

"B-but still, what if the Huu-men catch us?"

"I'm more worried about my mom. She could pop into my room at any time!"

"She won't even know we are missing by the time we get back. Plus, there's no way they'll find us. Look at this place! It's way too big. There's no way we'll run into them! Now, come on, I think there's a way inside through this vent,"

The two other ponies looked on with trepidation as their pegasus friend flew up to the vent. One hard buck was enough to open it. The pony flew inside and dropped a rope for his two friends. The other two quickly climbed up and entered the manner. "it's tight in here," One of the ponies said.

"And it's a little cold,"

"It's ok. All we have to do is find an empty room," The trio continued to crawl around in the vents. After a bit of time, the three ponies found another grate. "Hey, here's a room. Whoa!"

"What?"

"What do you see?"

The pony felt a flush of heat rise to their cheeks as they looked inside the room. A human lay on the bed, obviously sleeping, but that wasn't what caught the pony's attention. From the vent, the other two joined their companion to see what the problem was and felt the same flush of embarrassment. The female human on the bed had chosen to sleep in the nude. 

"Whoa. S-she--"

"--In her birthday suit!"

"Maybe we should--"

*CREAK*

The trio looked at each other before the grate broke from their combined weight. The pegasus pony tried to catch the others with the rope. But, it snapped under strain, and the three fell to the ground. "Owww...!"

"My tailbone!" 

"Uhh! Hey! Where's my hat!?" One of the ponies said in a panic. 

"Um, it's right there..." Pointing to the bed, the ponies saw that the hat landed on the human's belly. Strangely enough, the loud fall didn't wake her.

The pony felt their cheeks flush harder this time while taking slow, tentative steps to the bed. Every action, the pony looked at the human's face to see if she was still asleep. But just as quickly looked away because of the human state. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the pony grabs the red, white and yellow cap with a tiny propeller on it and pulls it away. The trio froze stiff when the human shifted before letting out a sigh when she remained asleep. The pony places the cap back on and moves to the other two ponies as they continue to stare. All of them sported massive blush on their faces before the pegasus spoke.

"Wow. Huu-men don't have fur! And, look, Huu-men can get cutie marks too. But what does a big red splotch mean? And, why is it only on one arm?"

"W-we shouldn't be looking. It's indecent!"

"She almost looks like the mares in my brothers' magazines!"

"We're wasting time. Look around the room and grab something so we can go!"

"How about that thing?" The pony pointed to the metal object sitting on a stand. The design was intricate as it resembled a skeleton. The body had what looked like human skull bones all over the frame. And a ribcage around the shoulders. The three juveniles couldn't make out the letters, but they assumed it was terrible because of the horned skull on top. 





"I-it looks creeping looking!"

"Maybe it's where the humans trap ponies' souls. Oooh!"

The pegasus rolled their eyes before grabbing the object. "Ok, looks, get out of here,"

"How? The rope broke,"

"I think I can fly you both back to the vent one at a time,"

However, as the pegasus got one of his Earth pony friends in the air, the door to the room swung open. The lights shined into the room as someone called out. "Aha!" The sudden entry and blinding light made the pegasus freeze up as both the ponies fell. The item in the Earth pony's hand slips and flies into the air. The cork popped off, and the object and its liquid contents fell directly into the ponies' mouths.







[Yu Chen POV.]


Miss Moonlit and I opened Miss Nyx and Miss Crews' room to a particular sight. Three youths, colts if I am not mistaken, were in the room. One of them was a white-furred Earth pony with brown splotches. He had a plain white shirt with a red collar. He stood frozen like a deer in headlights at our entrance. Another colt was a pegasus with a dazed look in his eyes. It seems we gave them a good scare. He had white fur with a blue mane. He wore a light blue shirt with a yellow lightning bolt over black shorts. The other Earth pony had a brown coat and a two-tone dirt orange mane. He wore a simple green shirt and blue pants. 











However, I quickly noticed Miss Nyx's flask protruding from the young ponies' mouths. I quickly rushed and removed it. But its contents were already gone. Looking back at the child, I saw his eyes were unfocused and dilated; a droopy smile was present, and Barben's unmistakable stench on his breath. And, to add to these colts' growing misfortune, Miss Nyx had woken up. She hadn't noticed us yet while she reached out for her flask. I only now realized her state of undress as she patted the nightstand. She was still groggy, but it did not last when she couldn't find her drink. Once she regained more of her facilities, she looked around the room. She spotted myself and Moonlit, who had gathered the colts behind. But, more importantly, she spies her now empty flask in my hands. I believe she gave me the appropriate response.

"What the fuck, Jarvis!?"
> Chapter X
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Kingston Manner - After the Tour - Angela POV.]


"Fucking grumpy old crow..." I said. As soon as we got home, it was back to this maid shit! While I was mopping fucking hoofprints from the floor for the umptieth time. I know those horse fuckers were doing it on purpose. There are no mud tracks anywhere near here. And fuck these stupidly long hallways. At least grandma didn't add any more time to my prison term. Damn shame I didn't jump on that. A golden opportunity to cuss out the walking metal pissants wasted. Oh, well. The only good about today is that once I mop up here, I can rut my brain with some tv. Grandma finally let us watch something after all this time. Fuck what those pansy ponies' sensibilities. Maybe, I'll put on a horror film and blast the volume up. That will clear the house of pony stank. Or perhaps some episode of the Boys or Dexter. Something that will have these needle dick box faces shitting themselves.

*RING*

"Fan-Fucking-Tastic!" I went to the front door. Fuck it. I don't care if it's captain simp's dick or princess thunder's ass; I'm going off on them. I went up to the door and flung it open. I expected of the two cunts. What I got was Pinkie. Although, she looks like someone took a shit in her cornflakes. Her puffy hair was straight as an ice pick. Throw a little black on her, and she'd pull the goth look without issues. "Who shit in your cornflakes?"

"...Hey, Angie. Can I come inside?"

I arched a brow at this. Since when did the ADHD pony ask to do anything? I remember her jumping in the shower with me because the water was gone in her stable or wherever the fuck she lived. "Why should I let in a judas like you? You were quick to run off with that rainbow cunt who pulled that bullshit on us,"

"But--"

"I get it. You two are tight. That Rainbow one looks like she does plenty of carpet munching, and your just her queen-size favorite,"

"Rainbow doesn't eat carpets. The shag would ruin her stomach lining,"

Jesus. I can't even be a bitch with how sweet and innocent she is. "Look, I got shit to do. So, you can fuck back to your other pony friends,"

"...Right, I guess it did look like I chose my friends over you. I knew them longer, but they were acting like jerks with how they talked about my human friends at Twilight's house. They even wanted to involve the princesses in something that wasn't their fault. I should've known you didn't want to be bothered after what happened today. Sorry, I'll leave everyone alone..."

"You do that," Pinkie started to walk to the gate as I breathed a sigh of relief. If she fucks off permanently, this world might be slightly less annoying. I wonder what her friends wanted to snitch to the pony princess-- Wait, what? "Dammit, Pinkie!" I ran to the pink menace, nearly tripping because of these fucking heels before she opened it. "Hold up already,"

"...Yeah?"

Fuck sake, don't look at me with those eyes. "Listen, my day was shitty. And, you at least tried to make it less shit so that you can come inside,"

I blinked and saw some of the color coming back to her. The Last thing I wanted to deal with was a woody woodpecker in pony form. But I want to know what the other pony bitches said. "You mean it? You're ok with me, and we're still friends?"

I fucking hate everything. "Holy fucking-- Do I have to say it? You're pushing this shit far enough already. Just get in here,"

After that, Pinkie just poofed. Like, no shit, a pink cloud with captions saying the word popped out of nowhere, and Pinkie was all bubbly again. I knew I would regret playing nice because the crazy pink fat-chested cow glomped me. I saw nothing but pink chest fuzz while no sound could get through. How the fuck do guys like tits like these? I'm fucking suffocating right now! That is if the crazy bitch doesn't break my fuck back. Is this how snakes kill their prey? If so, they're the cruelest motherfuckers on Earth. Equis. Wherever the fuck we are right now. I was three seconds from decking her before I heard Lyra call out to us.

"Hey, Pinkie. Hey, Angie. Guess who I brought," 

"Bon Bon!" Pinkie dropped my ass like a body bag to hug Lyra's friend.

Looking up, I saw that Bonnie escaped Pinkie's chesticles of death for being taller than me, which is bullshit. Lyra, at least help me up while the other two smashed tits. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, I wanted to bring you all gifts," Bonnie said. I saw the box filled with some stones.

"...They're rocks..." I said flatly.

"These are not simple rocks. They are prosperous geodes. The gem in the middle shines every night to spread good luck and bring blessings to whoever has them," Bonnie said. "I figure you and your family could use them with how crazy things have been for you lately. And I hope it somewhat makes up for today. You can put them in each of your rooms. I recommend spreading them wherever you all hang out. They're also good for decoration,"

"Fine. Hand the rocks over and come in, I guess. Everyone else is in the living waiting for dinner," 

"So, what are you having for dinner?" Lyra asks.

"The hell if I know. Jules likes to surprise us,"

"Oh! Is it a cupcake, Souray? Apple fitter deluxe? Pie-Geddon?" Pinkie listed off.

"What's a pie-Geddon?" Bonnie asked.

"Pies of all shapes and favors lined up from one end of the table to another. Each pony - uh - a person must go through each one until they get to the end without barfing. Of course, I'm the only one that seems to be able to do it. I guess others don't have strong stomachs," Pinkie said. "Oh, do you want to try, Angie?"

"Sorry, I like not being bigger than a beach ball. I'm sure the twins would love it," I said. 

"Great idea. We can do it for dessert!"

That is out to be good. We walked for a bit until we got to the living room. The gang was all here except for Jules and Pennyworth. The wonder brats saw her and gave Pinkie a big hug. Somehow, she didn't provide them with the death hug like me. Fucking hypocrite."Pinkie! You're back!"

For some reason, Pinkie started crying. "I missed you girls so much!!!"

"It's only been a few hours, Diane," Grandma said.

"And that's eighteen thousand seconds too long," Pinkie said. She fucking counted that!?

"Hey, don't we get a hug? We brought gifts," Lyra pouted. Nat and Cece broke off and glomped Bonnie and Clyde too.

"What are these gifts you mentioned?" Grandma asked.

"Is something cool?" Blondie asked like an idiot.

"It's right here..." I said flatly. Everyone looked at the gifts like it was a box of dildos.

"They're rocks..." Leo said.

"These are prosperous geodes. They're supposed to bring good luck," Bonnie huffed.

"Well, they look very decorative," Xavier said. More like they look like shit.

"And they are much appreciated. Will you three be staying for dinner?" Grandma asks.

"Oh, we wouldn't want to impose--"

"Yes! I mean, we love to stay," Lyra said, cutting Bonnie off. She whirled around and gave her friend the puppy stare. "Please, Bon Bon. I never had a chance to try human food,"

"...Yes, thank you for the offer; we'd love to stay," Ha. Bonnie wears the shit-eating grin well. 

"Come on. We're about to watch tv!" Cece said.

"Tv?" Bonnie asks.

"It's incredible, Bon Bon. Think of it like reading a book, but the pictures move like real life!" Lyra said. Poindexter went over and started the flat screen. I looked back horses and rolled my eyes. Pinkie lay on the ground with the twins, swinging her legs like a fucking child. Clyde was pushing Bonnie to the couch with a big grin on her. Since most of us were here, I thought it was time for some questioning.

"By the way, what did your other friends say at your little get-together?" I asked. 

That brought down the mood as I had hoped. Pink pony didn't go goth again, but she dropped that loopy grin. She told us everything from her friends get together. I know to give that rainbow cunt and teacher's pet my brand of shit-taking next time. We're good because Princess udders haven't come down to smite us. "That's disappointing to hear, Pinkie," Grandma said.

"Yeah," Leo said.

"It bullcrap is what it is. We bust our butts at the farm, and apple bottom still thinks we're crazy," The blonde dork said.

"Applebottom?" I said flatly. This fucking freak.

"W-what? It's true,"

"I wouldn't be so quick to assume anything about the elements. From what I've seen during our meeting, you're just like any other family. I know ponies are jittery and skittish, but that's only because of the rumors surrounding humans that came before," Bonnie said. "You'll just have to disprove those rumors,"

"Easier said than done. If everyone continues to avoid us like the plague, we won't have the chance to dispel anything," Poindexter said.

"I heard there was an emergency meeting after today's events at town hall. The major will allow the market to open up again. The marketers suffered a loss in profits from today's absence. They won't be doing that again. I suggest interacting more with the public. We show them that you're all more than just wild rumors or old superstitions from the past," Lyra said.

"And you got the number one party pony to help spread all the joys of being friends with humans! I'll turn everypony around with the Power of Pinkie positivity!!!" Pinkie said. Someone gag me right now.

"Alright, I think we could use a hiatus from the outside. So, I invite you all to the wonders of escapism—the joy of modern entertainment. The Power of--"

I cut the blonde dork off before I did something that he would regret. "Get on with it, dork!"

"Don't rush perfection, Ang. Behold-- Streaming television services!" 

The flatscreen flared to life while going to the cooperate logos. Our new guest was making her best impression of someone eating out a taco. That's right, ponies, we got something you don't. Pennyworth still hasn't figured out how we're getting internet service. I brought up how we'll be shit out of luck when the subscription ends. But Grandma bought one of those new extended plans rich fucks can afford. The service she is over in about twenty years. I was about to suggest something fun to watch. I was in the mood for PowPower, maybe watching the casino again. But grandma didn't want to break the pussy ponies with something like the concept of nuance, so that left one of the top ten fucking  shows I fucking hate - Spongebob.





"Come on. Everyone says the intro lyrics!" Cece said.

"Lyrics?" Bonnie asks. She jumped back when that deformed pirate came on screen. "What's wrong with that picture!?"

"Are you ready, kids?"

"Aye, aye, captain!" Everyone but Bonnie and me said. I wasn't going to say shit with this sponge.

"I can't hear you! I started to fidget and scratch my head. Everyone focused on the show to not see me glaring at the tv. 

"AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!!!" Why the fuck are you all getting so into this bullshit? I grit my teeth as I start having flashes. The song went on like normal. But the more I heard, the stronger my heartbeat. I couldn't hear anyone as a ringing and grunting played off in my ears. I shot to my feet as the damn song finished. 

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!" That laugh. That fucking laugh at the end. Just like that bastard's laugh. I started walking out the door.

"Why is the muzzle like that? Is that how sponges look in the human world? How are they underwater? How can you use a bathtub submerged in more water?" Bonnie asked.

"Shush!" Lyra said before noticing me. "Hey, where you going, Angie?"

"To bed. I got a freaking headache that can kill a horse. Put whatever crap Jules is making in the bin for me. Or maybe the trash, I don't care," I left the room before they could say anything. I passed by some night fuckers, but I didn't have time for them. I slammed the door shut while rushing to the closet. Stripping off the maid clothes, I found my treasure chest by throwing some of my clothes out. Putting the chest on the bed, I opened it up to see one of the few comforts I had on Earth. My ornate silver flask is next to a bottle of bourbon chaser and a torn photo of the rent. I filled up the flask while glaring at the picture. "Cheers to a shitty end to a shitty day..." I put the flask to my lips and drank the devil's nectar. Growling at the burn and my picture, I grabbed the bottle and downed about a quarter of it. I usually would've done half, but I haven't found where these horses keep the hard liquor. Or, if I'll have money to buy it. That's a problem for fuck all. Time for bed. Maybe when I wake up, there won't be stupid shit to deal with again. I didn't bother wearing anything to bed; too buzzed to care.







[Yu Chen POV.]


I placed the lid on the tray and began wheeling the cart out of the kitchen. "A fine spread, Miss Juliet. I'm sure our guest will love it,"

"You think so? I figured feeding equines should be easy - plenty of greenery and grains - but things are different. What if I added too many spices or not enough dressing? Or--"

I placed a hand on the worrying girl's shoulder to soothe her. I gestured with my free hand an inhale and exhale motion, which she performed, and calmed down. "You are shaping up to be a phenomenal chef. You care for your craft and always consider your consumer regardless of their species. Now, let's go and 'wow' them,"

"Thank you, Walter," Miss Juliet said gratefully.

We left the kitchen and began our trek through the halls. However, along the way, we noticed one of the nocturnal patrollers acting strangely. She looked around while her ears shifted and twitched at random intervals. At that moment, a beeping notification went off on my watch. Something tripped the motion sensors in the manner. "Is something wrong with her?" Miss Juliet asks.

"Hmm, I'll go and have a word. You should deliver dinner now," I said as I handed off the cart. I watched Miss Juliet leave while I approached the guard. "Pardon me, madam, are you lost?" It was a common fact that the ponies still seemed to get lost within the manor from time to time.

"Hmm? Oh! Hey, there. Um, You-Chin?"

"It's Yu Chen. Mr. Chen or Walter, if you prefer," I corrected.

"Moonlit Shade. That's a lot of names to remember. How about I call you Wally," Miss Moonlit said.

I felt a subtle twitch of my brow at that nickname. It reminded me of that Disney film about a cleaner droid. "Actually. I prefer--"

"Anyway, I am glad you're here. Now, I don't want to freak you out. But I think somepony's broken inside this place,"

"Yes, I am aware,"

Miss shade looked shocked at that. "Do humans have to heighten hearing like ponies?"

"No, we have a security system. It notified me moments prior. Still, you were already looking for our new guest even before then,"

Moonlit beamed as she replied. "There are beautiful ears that aren't just for show. It's well-known that bat ponies' hearing is more accurate than average ponies. We could hear a pin drop from miles away!" Her ears twitch more as if to emphasize her point. "From the sound of it, our new residents are rummaging around in the vents. Too bad for an animal and too small for an adult. Maybe the twins wanted to play haunted house?"

I arched a brow at the implication. "The young master is with the madam. The tracker indicates that the intruder is moving into the north wing where the bedrooms are,"

"Security systems? Trackers? And all of this without magic. You think you humans can give us some pointers?"

We moved further into the north wing, as I responded. "That would depend on how vast your society is as technology evolved. What we have here barely scratches the surfaces. Although, I would also have to ask how your kind feel about technological advancement,"

I saw Miss Shade visibly wince at my inquiry. "We're not big fans. That's because ponies are hesitant about change. Why mess with something if there's nothing wrong,"

"We have a similar quote. If it's not broke, don't fix it,"

"Huh. Anyway, several groups and organizations up in Canerlot have insisted on relying solely on magic. You got a stick that uses natural lighting banned. Do you have a way to turn water into ice without a freezing spell? Banned. Do you have a mansion filled with things from a foals' storybook?" 

I chuckled at that one. "Banned?"

Miss Shade cast a wide smile. "It took hundreds of years just to employ a steam train. Let's say it isn't a popular subject in the capital,"

"And the ones that benefit most from magic would be the unicorns. I take it?"

"Got it in one. The more magic you have, the better life is for you. You should've been here during Pre-Equestria,"

"And those with the least magical potential are regarded as the second class at best?"

I saw miss Shade's ears fall against her head. "Yeah, it's not all sunshine and rainbows, but they do a good job of hiding it,"

"What of these organizations?"

"Let's see; there's Equestria Education Association. Magical Application Intelligence Division. Conventional and Dependable technology group. And, the Noble Stable," I arched a brow at the last name. These horse-related puns are far too frequent for the equines to be this oblivious to them. "Then, there are various religious groups. The Radiant Suns. Children of the Night. And Halls of Horoscopy. Two out of all these organizations are the only ones that don't find the magic to be the end all be all,"

"It sounds like some engaging groups. We will be sure to look into them. But that comes later. Whomever our guests are, they're right inside-- Oh..." I paused when I realized what room this was. I waited while resting my hand on the nob. Miss Nyx does not enjoy early rousing out of her rest. But waiting was out of the question, given the circumstances. Perhaps if we're quiet we--

*THUD*

A crash sounded off inside, forcing Miss Shade to spring into action. She lifted her hoof and kicked the door inward. "Aha!!!" It is a rare occurrence that something happens that garners surprise me. However, seeing three adolescent ponies - colts, I recall - lying scattered about in Miss Nyx's room is a top contender. However, my shock morphed into horror when I spied a flask in one of Colt's muzzles. I ran up to the boy quickly and pulled the flask away. Judging by his dilated eyes, he'd already consumed the contents. I can't even imagine a worse situation than a child under the influence. And, to make matters more aggravating, the sudden noise woke Miss Nyx. Miss Shade pulled the colts behind her while she was waiting. She was reasonably acquainted with us by now. But Miss Nyx made it her mission to hassle the guard core. Her response to this situation did not disappoint.

"WHAT THE FUCK, JARVIS!?"







[Living Room - Nancy's POV.]


I sat on the couch, rubbing my temples. In front of me were three colts no older than the twins. And one of these little ponies is sloshed out of his clunker due to Angela's stash of Barben. I glanced at Angela, who had her flask in hand. If looks could kill, She'd be Supergirl right now. Glancing around everyone else, I saw Xavier pacing back and forth with a frown. The poor boy was as stressed as I was with this situation. The Crews siblings were mostly silent on the matter.

In contrast, the ponies were equal parts concerned and confused. I turned back to the colts who, save for the brown one, were paler than ghosts. I let out another sigh as I grabbed my cup of tea and took a slip. I placed the cup, clapped my hands, and spoke to our three new guests.

"Right then, let's start with introductions. I'm Nancy Kingston. Therese are my grandchildren, Cecilia, Natalya, and Xavier. The ones to my left are the Crews; Leonardo, Juliet, and Donatello. She's Angela Nyx, and he's Yu Walter Chen. I'm sure you know these ponies. So, who are you three?"

The two somber colts exchanged worried glances as they spoke. "M-my name is Pipsqueak, ma'am..." The Earth pony said.

"I-I'm Rumble,"

"I'm- uh -I'm Space Rex. Defender of the - hiccup - nebula. N-now, who stole your fur?"

"He's Button Mash," Rumble said with a deadpan stare.

I nodded in response as I folded my fingers together. "So, why are three young colts sneaking through vents and--"

"And breaking into my room, sneaking a peek, and drinking my stuff!?" Angela stated angrily.

I shot her a glare to get her to stop. "Yes, that. You know, this marks the second time ponies have broken the law against us,"

Rumble instantly stood up and flared his little wings. The discovery channel shows that he was trying to be intimidating. "Hey! We didn't break any laws!"

I arched a brow at the boy's tone while everyone else flinched. I stood up and walked over to the colt. Bending down to his level seems to make him lose steam. "You three came into my home uninvited, snuck around in the air ducts like a common rat, and broke into a room where someone was asleep in the nude. That's at least three crimes right there. One of those crimes has some severe implications. Let's not forget that your friend Button Mash performed some underage drinking. Not to mention that you all got caught by night here, guard. I am sure you're parents would love to know why you're here embarrassing them,"

Little Rumble was sweating profusely by now, but he held his ground. I narrowed my eyes on all three of them, although Button Mash glared at the floor. However, little Pipsqueak was hyperventilating. He'd be the one to crack. It lasted for a few seconds before he did. "It was a dare!"

"A dare?"

"S-some of our schoolmates were teasing us, calling us names like blank flanks and scary colts,"

"Ha! That's a bunch of horse manure!" Button Mash suddenly said, causing Lyra and Pinkie to gasp in shock. "My crew and I are the bravest in the - *hiccup* - galaxy. We fight monsters from the far corners of the world and beyond! Hey, I didn't know ponies had digits, hiccup!" Button slurred. "Our mission was to infiltrate the den of the marauders and liberate items of their possession to prove our mettle!" 

I pinched the bridge of my nose at this. "So, you let yourselves get peer-pressured into entering our residence to steal from us," Xavier groaned.

"I guess that does looks bad..." Rumble grumbled.

"W-we were going to return it," Pipsqueak said.

"Give me a belt," Angela said.

"I got one. What for?" Diane asks.

"What else? A good tan on their hides will scare them straight," Rumble and Pipsqueak went stiff at this.

"Angie! That's barbaric!" Lyra exclaimed.

"We do not use violence as disciplinary measures!" Bon Bon said sternly.

"Oh, let me guess; you sit them down and explain the birds and bees? Meanwhile, they take cues from their seniors with more lessons on home invasions. At least my method would show them why that crap is a horrible idea," Angela said.

"Um, Nana?" Cecelia called out

"Not now, Cecelia," I said.

"Studies on Earth show that using violence as a deterrent on youths leads them to believe violence in and of itself is an effective means of getting what you want," Donatello said as we stared blankly at him. "Hey, I can read an article or two..."

"Nana--"

Cecelia was cut off again by Angela's retort. "And what about those runts that don't know how to act? The ones that kick and scream and break crap! So far, many of these ponies make Lamilton Taeshawn like a model citizen!"

"Well, we give misbehaving foals a good pinch on the ears. And you can never go wrong with some avocados," Pinkie suggests. "And a few extra chores never hurts,"

"Ponies can eat avocados?" I knew that was something to avoid in a horse's diet strictly.

"Well, we can eat it, but it tastes horrible. A good way to get naughty fillies and colts to behave is to feed nothing but that for a week," Bon Bon stated.

"Oh! My herd mother used to feed us when my cousin and I snuck treats. Bleagh!" Lyra said.

*HONK*

We shield our ears from the sound of an air horn going off. I saw Cece handing the horn back to Walter, with Cece and Nattie pointing to the colts. "Button's gone," Cecelia said.

"What? I thought the Earth ones couldn't teleport!" Donatello said.

"I can hear him outside. I'll organize the other guards to form a perimeter outside if he leaves the building!" Miss Shade said as she left the room.

"Walter!" I called out.

He was already on his phone before I tried his way. "The boy's heading toward the kitchen, madam,"

"Everyone, let's go!" Xavier stated.

I looked back at the colts before everyone filed out. "You two!" They both stiffen up at my sharp tone. "You are both to stay near Miss Heartstrings and Diane. Do not leave her side. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am!" They said. The colts glued themselves to the other ponies and followed behind them. I almost felt bad seeing the two boys look submissive with their ears splayed back and their tails tucked between their legs. But this kind of impulsiveness can't stand. I'm sure it should not be too difficult to find a wayward drunken colt.







[Kingston Manner - Floyers - Third person POV.]





Button Mash fell face-first through the kitchen. He picks his muzzle off the floor and wobbles to his feet. The world, from his view, was wavy and warped. His belly rumbled as he stumbled to the fridge. "A real cadet gots to keep his strength up, hiccup!" Button said as he began eating the assortment of greenery and deserts in the fridge. However, he stumbled back as he got to the freezer and found the variety of meat. At the same time, the humans and ponies enter the kitchen as the now enraged pony turns to them. "B-Butchers! You're supplying the Varaks! This - hiccup - shall not stand!"

"Ok, kid, let's quit making a mess that Angie will have to clean up and--"

*SPLAT*

A pie flew directly into Donatello's face as it hit his face. "Hey! That was dessert! I finally got the recipe right!" Juliet cried.

"Not the banana cream pie!!!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Arming blasters!" Button calls out, grabbing a bottle of ketchup and mustard. Bon Bon and Leonardo move up next, only for the Earth pony colt to squirt them both in the eyes. Walter and Xavier decided to rush the colt. But Button quickly spilled milk all over the floor, causing them to slip. 

Soon, Button Mash began throwing anything he could get his hooves on at the group. This act went on for several seconds until Bon Bon called out to Lyra. "For Faust's sake, Lyra, use your magic and grab him!"

"Oh, right," Lyra said, priming her horn.

However, Button Mash reacted before she could move to stop him. "Eat space dust - *Burp* - b-butchers!" 

Button tosses a flour sack, prompting Lyra to change her spell into a concussive wave. "Eep!" She said the flour exploded, creating a smoke screen that allowed Button to escape.

"He's running out in the halls!" Xavier stated.

"After him!" Bon Bon said.

Button ran through the halls with surprising coherence as he ducked into the twins' room. Angela was the first to enter. "Alright, get out here, you little twerp!" Angela scanned the room until a shuffle caught her attention. She turns to the pile of stuffed animals in the corner. Slowly, she walked over to the pile as the others filed in with her. However, Button burst out, holding a nerf sword and gun.








Button swung the sword against Angela's shin, making her hiss in pain before firing the nerf gun. However, Button never used this toy as the darts flew everywhere. Cecelia rushed into the room to her painting and shielded it with her body as the darts flew at her. "Hey, stop it! You'll ruin it!" Cecelia cried out.

"I got this; Double C. Activate hero shield!" Pinkie said dramatically before grabbing Leonardo and using him to block the darts. Leo wore a bemused expression as Pinkie slowly approached Button Mash. "Give it up, cadet. You can't penetrate my hero shield!"

"Ha!" Donnie laughed, jumping behind Pinkie with Juliet following suit.

"Tough it out, big bro!" Juliet said, unable to hide her smile.

"Why?" Leonardo asks as more darts bounce off his face.

"You dirty scoundrel! I'll - *burp* - never submit!" Despite his brave, slurred words, the colt was growing worried. He looks to his companions with a pleading look. 

Pipsqueak looked unsure while Rumble gave the nod. "Hey, we got to help!" Rumble stated.

"But we're already in trouble now!" Pipsqueak reminded.

"Yeah, so we can't get in anymore," Rumble stated. Pipsqueak blinks before shrugging. Rumble began buzzing around in the air while Pipsqueak went and hugged Pinkie's leg to halt her progress. The distraction allowed Button to slip past the group and run back into the halls. Nancy Kingston slowly turned towards the two colts with a look promising retribution. 





Both colts immediately regretted their decision as Pipsqueak spoke in a small voice. "Y-You did say to stay close to Miss Pinkie..."

"Deep breaths; you can contemplate murder later," Nancy said with gritted teeth. "Walter?"

"Oh! He's going to May's stable," Walter stated. Nancy pinched the bridge of her nose at that.

"Close the shutters and lock him in until we get there. Angela, make something to sober the child up, and Juliet; prepare some avocado paste," The two colts gulped at that while the adult retched despite not being on the receiving end of the doon-to-be punishment.

Meanwhile, Button made it inside the stable. However, the area was dark. The colt believed it was the perfect place to hide from his pursuers until help arrived. That is until a snort comes from behind him. He quickly spun around with the nerf sword and pointed it at the darkness. He could still hear snorting from something as it drew closer. Button could make out the features more clearly in the light and dropped his weapons. Button looked deep into the brown eyes of May as he stepped closer. The mare looks down at her fellow equine in curiosity as she snorts and snickers.

"My - hiccup - princess..." Button breathlessly said as he inched closer.







[May's stable - Xavier POV.]


We finally made it to the stable, not that it was easy. Button Mash left a trail of scattered curtains, toppled pillars, and some broken vases in his wake. Some of these items were priceless collectibles, and Grandmother was less cheerful about their damaged state. That will be an oncoming storm for later. We must end this nonsense before genuine harm can come to the boy. Opening the shudders, I couldn't help but notice how ponies eyed them. We weren't forthcoming about all of the systems in that manner. Another aspect I am sure will lead to more suspicion cast on us. Regardless, Walter lowered the shudders, and we made our way inside. The sight was something I honestly could not predict. 

Button Mash was in an entire make-out session with May. Although, for May, I suspect she was grooming her fellow equine. At the same time, Button Mash made several kissing gestures that fell short due to the size difference of their muzzles. The pony's expression told the whole story. Rumble and Pipsqueak were in equal parts shocked and disgusted. Whether it was because of their friend swapping saliva or the sight of their ancestor, I haven't a clue. Pinkie Pie and Lyra found the scene amusing. But Bon Bon's expression intrigued me the most. There was barely any surprise in her reaction, if at all. Sure, she has been generally more accepting of our presence, but no gasp or fright for looking at what was essentially their version of a caveman in modern times.

As Walter approached the colt, I put those thoughts on the back burner. He pulls him away from May as the colt begins to struggle. But this is one grip he won't escape, no matter what. My sisters and I can testify to this fact. "Alright, let's head back,"

"Release me, Varak lapdog-- Hmph!?" 

I looked to see why Button Mash had gone silent and noted the pacifier in his mouth. I groan at the memories of that damnable thing. "You still have those in your pocket?" I asked as we began our trek back to the kitchen.

"An excellent way for quieting tantrums, Master Xavier," Walter responds.

"Do you happen to have two more?" Grandmother asks, staring down at Rumble and Pipsqueak as they break out in a cold sweat.

"Oh, come on. We don't have to be too hard on the colts," Lyra said.

"I'm considering changing my stance on spankings..." Bon Bon said, wiping the remnants of ketchup from her mane. I am lucky only water got on my person.

"Yeah, sure, things got a little messy. But, so far, tonight's been fun!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Diane. Most of the items this colt broke are irreplaceable now. Forgive me if I don't find enjoyment in this," Grandmother reminded.

We made it back to the kitchen, which was going through some cleaning. There's no longer a puddle on the floor, at least. Juliet was in the process of cleaning the ketchup and mustard stains. I could already tell the flour would be an issue in and of itself. Looking toward Angela, I could see that devious grin she likes to sport. She was holding a half-cracked eggshell. The yoke was still inside, along with a pungent stench of several seasons. By the smell, I'd say it was gin, hot sauce, and pepper. "Set him up," Angela said. Walter, Leo, and I moved to hold Button Mash still as Angela came closer.

"Urgh! What is that?" Bon Bon asks as her nose twitches.

"A prairie oyster. Guaranteed kick in the balls to any hangover,"

"It smells awful!" Lyra added, pinching her nostrils.

"Well, it's better than crap. Now, I got to say, kid. There aren't many that can down a whole shot of my spirits, let alone a quarter flask. Maybe when you're legal, we can share a pint or two. But not before I get some payback. Hold his nose!"

We did as instructed as Button struggled, and Angela brought her prairie to Button's muzzle. Once Button gasped for air, she poured the concoction into his mouth and held his muzzle until he swallowed. The effect was immediate. Button coughed and spat on the ground. Thankfully, he didn't puke, and his drunkenness ultimately left him. Surprised, he looked around before running to the sink, drinking from the faucet, and lapping at the air like a dog—Button coughed some more while rubbing his throat.

"Urgh! What was that?" Button asked.

"That was your wake-up call, cadet," Angela stated.

It's always interesting watching the reactions of our equine neighbors. Usually pale as a ghost is merely an expression. But seeing the color drain from a person is impressive. "H-hew-man!"

"Humans. Plural. And you, young man, are in a lot of trouble!" Grandmother sternly stated.

Now, Button's eyes shrank as he finally grasped the reality of the situation. "Um, w-we're, uh, would you like to buy some ever-scout cookies?"

I had to resist the urge to facepalm as I spoke. "Ever scout?"

"Yeah, it's to help build funds for the local colt scout trip,"

"Alright, I'll take a box. It's probably in the vent you used to sneak in at this time of night, right?" Bon Bon said with a coy smile.

"Oh! What kind is it? Cinnamon-coated crunch? Ginger-apple bomb? Double fudge chocolate supreme?" Pinkie asks.

"I want that one!" Cece said as Nattie nodded rapidly. Meanwhile, Button Mash was shrinking by the minute.

"I think we should talk with your mother about advance payments," Grandmother said. That was the crack that broke the dam.

"We're sorry, madam!"
"Don't tell our moms!"
"We'll do anything!"

We all turned to Grandmother as the three colts gave their puppy dog eyes. A tactic that Grandmother has built immunity. "That's good to hear, and you can explain to your parents why you will be spending time cleaning the manner and paying off the debt for the items you broke tonight. Now, let's go for a walk then, shall we?"







[Late into the evening - Ponyville.]


I haven't had the opportunity to wander around this village at night until now. I must say that the nights on Rath can't compare to this. The sky looked vibrant and luminescent. There was no light pollution from big metropolitan cities. The star shone like sparkling glitter, almost like we stepped into a painting. I am feeling a tad envious, if I am being honest. I suppose I can thank these three boys for their surprise visit. Although, I doubt they share the same sentiments since we're personally escorting them to face their comeuppance. Grandmother, Walter, and I decided that we would speak with the parents and guardians of the colts since we're the offended party. Lyra and Bon Bon agreed to join us with the night guard while the others stayed inside. Bon Bon thought seeing friendly faces with the lunar ponies would soften the blow when the parents eventually noticed two humans. The colts explained they were having a sleepover. So, we headed to Button's residence. It was a modest little homestead—a common theme in this town.





Moonlit Shade knocks on the door three times before it opens. A cream-coated mare with a smooth, light brown mane opened the door. She had a red with a white skirt and a pink ribbon in her hair. I could hear the lemon going down Button Mash's throat as he hid behind Walter. As expected, she appeared immediately apprehensive when she saw us. However, that went away when she noted the guards and her son.



(This was the best picture I could find. Ignore the human one. )


"I-Is there a problem? Why is my son with you and..."

"Nancy Kingston. He is my grandson, Xavier, and my butler Yu Walter Chen. And, due to some bizarre circumstances, we're your new neighbors," Grandmother said.

"Um, yes, it's nice to meet you?" Button's mother said. "My name is Cream Heart. Can anypony explain why my son and his friends had a guard escort when they were supposed to be asleep?"

"Hey, Cream. The reason we're here is because of a little incident..." Lyra paused to collect her thoughts. 'You see--"

"Your son and his friends snuck into the human's house to try and make off with one of their possession as part of a dare," Moonlit said professionally.

"What!?" Miss Heart exclaimed. She ran back into her home and presumedly upstairs. After a few moments, we could hear her stomping down the steps like the terminator. The door reopened, and the atmosphere changed. Any apprehension she held toward three humans at her doorstep shifted to motherly anger and disappointment for her child. In her hoof was a cap similar to the one Button was currently wearing. "Dear?"

"Y-Yes, mom?" Button said timidly.

"Why is your spare cap resting on the three pillows under the sheets?"

Ah, and there's the look every child has when they've tried being clever but failed. Grandmother utilizes that same frown even today. The twins usually last around thirty seconds before ratting each other out. I wonder--

"It was Rumble's idea!" Button sang like a canary. That was only five point five seconds, Shameful.

"Hey! You and Pip didn't say anything this whole!" Rumble stated.

"I was only going along with you two," Pipsqueak defended.

"But, at the school, you supported the idea!" Button countered.

"Settle down/Enough!" Cream heart and Grandmother said, surprising each other. "I don't care whose idea it was. You three colts broke into someplace dangerous while lying about the sleepover. What would've happened if the stories were true?"

"I hope their safe return shows that my home isn't as dangerous as one might believe," Miss Heart looks embarrassed at her words. "But, breaking inside wasn't the only thing these colts did. Several priceless items are now gone because of your little one. I won't bother asking you for monetary compensation because the items' costs were abundant. Instead, I would like to discuss these boys' service hours to pay off the debt,"

"I am not sure I am comfortable leaving my son with strangers," Cream Heart stated. It was a valid point.

"It's not bad there at all, Cream. I've been there for days now - so has Pinkie - and with all these guards, nothing bad will happen," Lyra said. 

"It would also teach these colts a valuable lesson in respecting others' property and not agreeing to ridiculous dares!" Bon Bon reminded.

Cream Heart appeared conflicted, but she sighed and faced my grandmother. "Alright, I will agree to let Button work off his debt--"

"But, mom!" Button whined,

"--As punishment for sneaking out. But, only after I come along. I will also let the other parents know so they can decide,"

"Aww! No fair!" Rumble whined. I did note that Pipsqueak seemed disturbed by the news and kept quiet. His parents must be of the stern variety.

"Thank you, Miss Heart. We look forward to seeing you," I said with a bow.

"Yes, and thank you for making sure these silly colts got home safely," Miss Cream Heart said, returning the bow.

"You're very welcome," Grandmother said.







[Lyra and Bon Bon's Residence - Bon Bon's POV.]


I plopped down on the couch after we got. Lyra, in turn, plops her head in my lap and sighs contently. Looking up at my face, she gives me that cheeky smile. "So, you had fun?" Lyra said.

"Fun is not a word I would use. I still have condiments in my mane,"

"Come on, Bonnie. The human house is amazing! Sure, things got messy toward the end, but I know you enjoyed the dinner and the show,"

I had to let out another sigh as some of that was true. "The food was better than I was expecting from half carnivores--"

"Omnivores. Humans can eat both plants and meat except for hay. They can't digest that one,"

"Yes, miss human fantastic. Thank you for the reminder. But, yes, the food was good. But that show was creepy,"

"What's creepy about talking sea animals?"

I gave this crazy mare a flat look. "Lyra. Sponges don't talk. Crabs are not greedy restaurant owners. And squids can't play instruments. And how can there be fire underwater? It doesn't make sense!"

Lyra boops my nose as I wrinkle my muzzle. "It's not supposed to make sense. It's supposed to entertain. Plus, Xavier said it was mostly a show for foals. Still, we don't have anything close to moving pictures. I bet if everybody else saw what amazing things the humans can do, they'll be more accepting!"

I frowned when she said this. "Humans do have that notoriety for a reason, Lyra. Sure, nothing has happened now, but you can't be too trusting," I stopped when I caught what she said near the end of her whimsical speech. "And don't you mean everypony?"

Lyra shot out of my lap and gave me one of her serious looks. "Pinkie and I decided that it's rude to use terms like everypony when we're not the only species in the world. But, even you said they were like any average family. So, my friends deserve the same respect as everyone else!"

"Look, I am not saying you're wrong or that your friends are bad. I am just saying to be careful. Ponies are quick to react and hard to convince otherwise. I don't want everypony--" Lura angrily pouts when I say that. "I don't want everyone shooting you dirty looks. And, remember, everyone has secrets!"

Instead of heading my advice, Lyra stood up proudly and made her declaration. "I don't care how long it takes ponies to get a clue. I was right about humans existing. Now, I show everyone that humans can be just as good as ponies!"

I couldn't help but shake my head. Once Lyra got set on something, there was no stopping her. "Alright, I'm hitting the shower so I can go to bed,"

"Oh! Good idea!" In a flash of light, Lyra teleported to the bathroom and got the shower running. 

I groaned in annoyance but didn't raise a fuss. It allowed me to give my report. I went down to the cellar where I kept my candies and went backroom. I barred Lyra from coming in here under the guise of it having sensitive recipes. At the center of the room was a crystal ball that flared to life. Within it, the image of Princess Celestia stares back at me. I gave a bow as she spoke. 

"I trust everything went well with your housewarming gifts?"

"Yes, princess. The humans accepted the stones with no suspicion. Whatever that anti-magic field is, it won't disrupt the spell,"

"Yes, I am getting a clear picture of the inside of that mansion. It looks as though there's a stone in each room. And several key points of the structure. Regardless, we will be able to spot any nefarious plots. Good job, Agent Sweetie Drops,"

"Your highness, I do have a question,"

"You may speak,"

"With the presence of both guard divisions at all hours of the day, is the spy network necessary?" Even if I had reservations about the humans, spying like this always left a bad taste in my muzzle.

"A fair point. But, to catch a cunning manticore, you must lay the proper bait. The presence of the guards was merely to keep my subjects away,"

I winced as I remembered what had happened a few minutes ago. "It may be too late for that, your highness,"

"Why is that?"

"Three colts snuck into the premises on a dare. They wanted to bring a human item to the classmates,"

Princess Celestia's eyes briefly widened as that. "Where are they now? Were they hurt?"

"No, your highness. The colts are fine. However, Nancy Kingston talked about punishment with one of the colts' parents. They did cause a mess and broke some valuable items. Do you want to stop it?"

The princess pinches the bridge of her muzzle while shaking her head. "The curiosity of youth never fails to cause a headache. It is fine if all parties agree to something fair. The guard will remain for whatever the duration will be for the colts. I do plan to remove them at some point. Tell me, agent; would you do anything untoward within the presence of swords and spears?"

"I would bide my time until an opening would surface,"

"Exactly. The stones provide a more subtle approach to keeping an eye on humans. We shall see if their kind has genuinely changed. When I am sure of that, there will be far fewer restrictions. Although, Lyra and Pinkie have corresponded with Twilight via letters in a bid to plead the humans' case. You've spent some time with them. What is your take?"

I thought about m answer for a minute and decided to tell the truth. "The humans are just like any other family in Equestria. But, I will do whatever I can if the rumors turn out to be true,"

The princess nods at my resolve before replying. "Good. While it's essential to offer redemption, we should be cautious,"

"Bonnie. The bathroom is all yours now," Lyra called out.

"It would appear our time is over for now. I will be in touch, Sweetie Drops," Princess Celestia said.

"By the grace of harmony, your highness," The crystal ball powers down as I leave the room.
> Chapter XII
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Ponyville - Button's House - Cream Heart's POV.]


Button walked beside me with his head hanging low. I held onto his hoof as we marched through Ponyville. A few ponies noticed us. But I smiled and waved them off. "Mom! Do we have to do this? The Princess said the human house is dangerous,"

"That didn't stop you from breaking in, did it?"

Button winced as I reminded him of his little scheme. "B-But--"

"Nor did it stop you and your friends from staging this idea while lying to me,"

"We-- I, it was a dumb idea to take the dare, but--"

"Now, you must pay for that since you broke another pony property!"

"But I don't remember doing that! That human lady could be tricking you into getting my friends and me back in their house to eat us!"

"With all those guards and the princesses in and out of that place? Honestly, you would be less safe at our house. Besides, while I can't say for certain about what Miss Kingston wants, she isn't making us pay for what I don't doubt were expensive items. I mean, look at that mansion. It's like a noble from Canterlot moved in with us! Her offer is a fair punishment, and you will do it. You will be on your best behavior. And you will not embarrass me like this again!"

"But, Mom!!!"

"Button Mash, unless you want me to take away your little gaming trinkets, you will listen!"

Button Mash finally got the message and nodded his head. "...Stupid human house..."

I sighed when he said that. I shook my head as I went to see if Rumble and Pipsqueak were ready. I spoke with their parents and guardians when they came to pick the Colts up this morning. Cloudy Sky and Thunderlane were skeptical. In contrast, Austere welcomes the idea of Pipsqueak's learning responsibility. That stallion always made me feel uneasy. And, he was the first stop before Cloudy Skies home. An orphanage is a place I wouldn't say I like visiting. That is mainly because of the idea that parents gave away their kids or met an unfortunate fate. Regardless, the foals are left all alone, and it gets depressing. At least the building is in good condition. We did not have to go inside as Pipsqueak and the stallion of the hour were outside already. The two were standing in front of an assembly of fillies and colts. As we got closer, I could hear the foals laughing and saw most of them pointing at Pipsqueak. I could listen to what Austere was saying, which did little to change my opinion of him.

"You see, my little foals, Pipsqueak serves as a prime example of the fate of a future criminal. And that is to serve the community and our betters for their misdeeds. That is why I have procured this attire to fit his role better,"

I noticed Pipsqueak was in a mini butler colt outfit. It was old and slightly tattered. I've no idea where Austere got it, but it looks terrible. "Excuse me, Austere? I'm here to pick up Pipsqueak..." I noticed the little colt's solemn expression and had to speak. What exactly is going on here?"

"Aw, yes, perfect timing. As for your question, I find that a little critiquing will deter foals from misbehaving as Pipsqueak did," 

"This feels more like teasing. I doubt any foal will benefit from mockery,"

"On the contrary, my method builds character - gives the foals a tougher hide. I see your son lacks the proper uniform. I am sure I have a spare somewhere lying around," The stallion eyed my son with a wicked look.

I stepped in front of Button and pulled Pipsqueak to me. "That's okay, Austere. We don't want to be late any more than we already are," I pushed Button and Pipsqueak along the path. Once we were out of earshot, I spoke to the little colt. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

"..." Pipsqueak remained silent. What was that stallion thinking, having the other foals tease him like this?

"Mom, I won't have to wear that, right?" Button said as Pipsqueak flinched.

"Button Mash! Please try to be more sensible. I am sure we can go to the house real quick and get a change of clothes--"

"Mr. Austere said not to take off the uniform or else," Pipsqueak uttered softly.

"Or else what--"

"Hey! Cream heart!" A voice cut me off as I looked up to see Thunderlane and Rumble. Rumble looked about as happy as Button Mash about working off their debt. "You're heading to the Hooman house too?"

"Well, yes, I was coming to pick up Rumble on the way,"

"Thanks, but I had to check the place out myself. Rumble didn't say much about it besides some weird skull bottle. Do you think they're making mind control potions?"

"I think the royal guards would find something like that by now..." Although, Button hasn't said much about what happened.

'Who knows what they have in that place? However, I am a little jealous and curious. Imagine a mansion just flying out of the sky. Maybe I can help you out for this first day, Rumble," 

"I hope there's more concern for you, brother, than what knickknacks this humane mansion has in it!"

"Y-yeah, I am the big brother after all..."

"Look, we can convince the humans to at least let us sit in to ensure the foals will be okay. But, I won't risk breaking any more of their property,"

"Hey, nopony said anything about breaking property. For all we know, it might not even be the mansion," I gave Thunderlane a deadpan look as we reached the front gates of the human residence. I admit I didn't think anypony's home could look more beautiful than the Riche's. Except for maybe Canterlot nobles and the princesses' castle. "Wow, it's bigger up close,"







[Kingston Manner - Yu Chen POV.]


The front gate bell chimed as two adults and our three invaders approached the front door. As I prepared to open it, Miss Nyx was waiting at the front door with her version of an eager expression.





"Come on, jives; I want to welcome the fresh meat!" Miss Nyx said.

"I am sure they will appreciate your enthusiasm," I opened the door and introduced myself. "Hello, and welcome to the Kingston manner. I am Yu Walter Chen - Head butler and curator of this housing - This fine woman next to me is Angelia Nyx. My associate and sub-maid,"

"And Soon to be the last person you little pervy imps want to tick off!"

I was going to continue before Miss Nyx's statements caused the stallion of this group some offense. "Hey, don't talk to my little brother like that!"

Miss Nyx looked thoroughly unimpressed by the stallion's posture. She grabs his arm and pulls him in close. The stallion balks as she flashes him her usual smile. "Listen up, chicken shit. I'll take to these little shitstains however I want since they felt the need to take a peak in my room. Anyone else would've gotten their shit rearranged from the inside of their guts, so count your fucking blessing,"

"I, uh, don't believe you..." The stallion was less sure of his position now.

"Tough shit, ask one of your pissant royal guards. Fact is, the little twerps are going to work, and they are going to work hard,"

Miss Nyx gave the stallion a shove as he stumbled a bit. The stallion looked to the solar unit as prompted, only to find them stoically watching the scene. Their lack of response gave the stallion all the confirmation he needed. However, it was different for the mare. "Button Mash! Is what Miss Nyx is saying true? Did you peep at undressed mare-- Um, human --"

"Woman! Holy shit, get it right!" Miss Nyx corrected.

"Miss Nyx, the rules," I reminded.

"We, uh, didn't know she was nude..." Button Mash admitted.

"Yeah, we only came inside because she was asleep!" Rumble shouted out before covering his muzzle.

The stallion groans as he pinches his nostrils. "Rumble...!"

"Well, I guess this punishment is well warranted!" The mare said. She turned to us with a stern visage. "I am Cream Heart, Button Mash's mother; he's Thunderlane. On behalf of these colts, I would like to apologize thoroughly,"

"That's quite alright, Miss Heart. We were all that age once. It's good to make mistakes now rather than later. But that does not give us free rein to everything without consequence. The first order of business is to get you three in uniform,"

"But, I'm already wearing one--"

I held up my hand to stop the young colt. "Son, I do not know who dressed you in that outfit. But it is an embarrassment to both of us. Follow me, please," 

The walk to the young master's workshop was not long. I did find it amusing to hear the reactions to the manor. One of the colts stopped in front of an art piece with a quizzical expression on its features. "What kind of picture is this?" Master Rumble asks.

"It's creepy looking," Button said.

"Is it a filly and a colt mushed together?" Pip asks.





"That is the portrait of Dora Maar," I stated. "Madam Kingston is a fan of Picasso's works,"

"That's the human who painted this?" Miss Heart asks.

"Yes, it was an homage to his relationship that lasted nine years before they broke up,"

"Why did they break it off?' Thunderlane asks.

"Mister Picasso had another lover his mistress did not approve of at all."

"Why didn't she join the herd? Was the alpha not to share?" Miss Cream Heart asks.

"A herd?" I was familiar with the concept, but I had no idea why sharing would be an issue. "Why would sharing be a factor in the relationship?"

"Well, the stallion picks an alpha mare to lead the other mares in the group. Herd dynamics differ depending on what the stallion and alpha want," Cream Heart explains.

"Hold up. You are saying a guy can have more than one wife?" Miss Nyx asks.

"Well, yeah, to help the population issue. Mares outnumber stallions 5 to 1 here. Isn't the same for humans?"

Miss Nyx and I shared a glance as I answered. "No, our numbers are roughly fifty-fifty. Our relationship is normally monogamous,"

"What does that mean?" Mister Thunderlane asks.

"It means we keep our men on a freaking tight leash. You only get one woman, and they better be grateful for it," Miss Nyx said with her interaction.

The two adults exchanged uneasy looks as I elaborated. "Miss Nyx means that humans find multiple partners difficult to maintain. It could cause more stress to try and split the focus and attention to several men or women alike,"

"Sounds like your stallions can't handle a few mares," Mister Thunderlane said.

"Well, you are not wrong," Miss Nyx said while grinning at me.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. We made it to the young masters' workshop, and I knocked on the door. "Enter,"

We all walk inside to the young master tending to his craft. "Good day, sir,"

"To you as well, Walter and Angelia. What do I owe the visit?"

"What's the point in making dresses?" Miss Nyx asks. "You ain't making money anymore,"

"One can never lose one's craft even without monetary gain. Now-- Urk!" Master Kingston stops as his eyes land long on Young Pipsqueak. Standing up sharply, Master Kingston walks over to a wardrobe screen. You. Get behind this screen and remove those clothes!"

"Um, why, sir?" Young Pipsuak asks. Master Kingston presents Young Pipsqueak in fresh attire.

"I will not tolerate anyone in this household dressed in a sorry state or abysmal clothing,"

"Thank you, sir..." Young Pipsqueak goes behind the screen and emerges in a bit of butter attire. "It's a bit small, sir,"

"Yes, well, it is one of the uniforms we make my little sisters wear when they misbehave,"

Both Young Rumble and Button Mash begin laughing. "Haha, you're wearing filly clothes,"

"Yes, as you two will be doing for the duration of your punishment," Master Kingster said. His eyes showed a wicked glim as he showed off two similar outfits.

"Yeah, let's get you boys suited up," Miss Nyx said with a smile. The boys tried to leave, but sadly, their escort barred their path. Master Kingston and Miss Nyx's shadows loom over them as they let out a scream of despair.







[Angela's POV.]


"Ha, look at my little subordinates; they are ready for work!" I said. Call me cruel, but the sight of the little shits squirming made me smile. 

"Oh, Button. You look so adorable. I wish I had brought the camera," Cream Heart swoons.

"Yeah, bro. Who knew you could sport the frilly look," Thunderlane teased.

The three little shits wore these sad looks when I busted out the camera. It was a regular camera, not the one from our phones. We're still playing hush-hush with that tidbit of tech. You never know what Princess Milkers will do with that. As I snapped a few more pics, the brown one spoke up.

"This isn't fair!"

"A lot of things ain't fair, kid. But, I'd be burning daylight listing them off. Now, you grunts got an entire workday ahead of you. Namely, all the things that I don't want to do,"

"Aw, what!?" The blueish-gray one said.

"Yeah, that's right. See, your pony cops like to track mud all over the halls. Now, I haven't figured out which possibility I hate more. The guards are doing it to spite me. Or, one of the kings told them to do it to spite. Probably both, but..." I flashed my pearly whites as the twerps shivered. "That won't matter for your sentence! Now, get those mops. I want to see my face whenever I look down at my feet!"

And that's how the day went for the triple dorks. The hallway was a bitch to clean, but seeing the Colts suffer made the CO think twice about tracking mud on it again. Next came dusting the rooms. I started with the spaces we don't use. They usually have the best dust build-up. The Colts came out of the rooms looking like they fell in some dirt. But that was nothing compared to coming out of the basement. They looked like a pack of coal miners after cleaning it. After that, I figured I would show them walking pints of glue bottles, something they can never have. We made our way to the garage. I already cleared it with Mrs. K, and I got one more thing to fuck with them. Of course, I had to ditch the babysitter, being their overgrown shadows of elder siblings and parents. Donny finally proved helpful as he called them up for something to eat.

"Whoa...!" The Colts said.

"Yeah, I knew you liked them!"

"What are they?" The gray one asks.

"They have wheels. Are they carriages?" The brown and white one said.

"Tch. They're called cars, you twerps. It's something you'll never see in your time." I said as we all moved inside the garage. Mrs. K might be a rich old hag, but she doesn't buy past the necessities, as she calls it. I called her out on that because a big mansion and all these cars hardly fucking counts as everyday items.





"This piece of work is built for speed. It's faster than anything you'll ever see in this backwater dump. And, this one..."




"This beauty will blow all carriages out of the water. Off-road or no road, nothing stops a ranger!" The dorks marveled at the cars I had shown so far. 

"What's that one? It's long." The spotted one said.

"This car right here is a limo. It's how you can be fancy on wheels. You want to travel in style; driving this is how you do it." I said.




"Wow!" Two of the three dorks said. I had a big smile until the winged one said some slick shit.

"Yeah, right. Look at those things. You can't go pulling big pieces of metal around. What's the point if all they do is sit here!"

"Are you doubting me, you little perv?" That got him to shut up. I said nothing as I went to the ranger. I had the keys off the walls as I opened the doors. The little dorks all looked shocked, but I had a point to make. "Get inside!"

The three twerps hopped in the car and sat down. I could tell the little shit was already impressed, but it was time to blow their little minds completely. I put the keys in and turned the ignition. Immediately, I heard the little glue packs squeak in fright. Turning back to them, I saw how they were about ready to piss themselves. Whether it was my smile or the car, who knows? "You, dork, what's your name again?" Looking over the trio, they repeated their stupid names.

"R-R-Rumble," 

"Button Mash."

"Pipsqueak."

"Well, you three don't know how lucky you got it right now." I hit the switch to the garage and put the ranger on the drive. It was right there that all three of the squirts' mouths flew open. I revved the engine a few times, drinking in their scared shitless faces as the garage finally opened. "Are you dorks ready for something magical?" They didn't say anything in response, probably because of my fat smile greeting them.










[Twilight's POV.]


Twilight's log; entry 15—another day of observation. I am still finding difficulty peering into the human household. Princess Celestia informed me not to worry as she was handling everything, but I couldn't help but feel that I might catch something and help provide something vital. "Are you still spying, love? You didn't eat your lunch," Mythic Entry said.

"Thanks, Mythic. I'll eat it later."

"You know, I might be inclined to get jealous when you look to sneak a peek at the apes. Am I not worthy of your love anymore?"

I rolled my eyes at his words. He's always dramatic. "You know this is important. I am already keeping to the timeframe you and Spike put on my observation. So, let me observe in peace. I'll make it up to you later."

"Oh, that sounds like a promise." I felt a burst of air in my ear canal as Mythic blew into it, causing me to flinch.

"Mythic! Come on--" During my abolishment, I heard the sound of a roar coming from the back of the structure. I wasn't the only one, as many ponies also heard it and looked on in confusion. I shot back to my telescope as something left from behind the mansion at incredible speeds. All I could make out was a dust cloud. The sound of the roaring grew more distant before fading away entirely. I quickly went to write a letter to the Mayor. I didn't know what kind of monster that was, but I wasn't taking any chances. I'm sure the guards at the human household heard that as well. Hopefully, we'll have a sufficient response time.







[Angela's POV.]


"ARE YOU HAVING FUN YET?" I said as we jumped over a dirt ramp. Looking back at the twerps, Rumble is against the ceiling. Pipsqueak somehow got on the floor in a fetal position. And Featherweight got a death grip on the seat cushions. "Oh yeah, you should put on the seatbelts. Safety first and all that shit." 

The twerps got the hint and struggled to wrap the belt over themselves. It did not help that I let them piece together or that I didn't stop driving. But, if these equines were as intelligent as humans, they could figure it out. Then again, the horse is more intelligent than most jackasses I knew back home. But offroading? That's a great way to beat stress. Nothing but you against nature with a could make tons of metal, oil, and pistons, baby! Our little joy ride lasted a few more minutes before I stopped at a small clearing. Taking out smoke, I looked back at my guests. All of them look as pale as a ghost. 

"So, still think I'm lying?"

"..."

"Heh, thought so!"

"M-Miss Nyx. This car is safe, right?" Pipsqueak said.

"Depends. Are you still alive?"

"I-I only ask because timberwolves are surrounding us..."

"Timber what?" I check the rear mirrors, and sure as shit, wolves made out of fucking wood are creeping in on us. "The fuck?!"

The timber fuckers took my words to attack as they jumped and slammed themselves against the doors. They broke apart instantly as they bounced off. The sound was like a bunch of kids running face-first into a poll. Can wood wolves feel confused because they stopped to look at the broken pieces of their friends? It's like they were supposed to come back together or some shit. Either way, I wouldn't let walking kindling scratch the paint, so I put the ranger back in drive and did a spun out, knocking them away—one of them survived long enough for me to run it over. I looked down at it to see it trapped under the wheel. This fucking world had to be some kid throwaway pitch to some girly show. Wolves made out of wood. Who thinks of this shit? There must be some good weed in this forest because the pony god was fucked up on it.

"Bad day, huh?" The wolf growled as it could understand. "Yeah, sorry, not sorry. I get that you like to snack on these ponies often, but you tangled with a true alpha bitch today. Next time, recognize who the prey is because it will never be me!" I stop on the gas as the tire reduces the wolf into sawdust as I head back to the mansion. "My bite is worse than their bark, right twerps?"

"..." The lack of response made me look at my audience. They were all looking more shocked than scared now. 

"Oh, fuck you. I am allowed to make a joke. Everyone is a fucking critic now..."





[Back at the Manor]

I drove in slowly once I saw the pony CO buzzing around like angry bees. I had to wait until the coast was clear before going back inside the garage. I know I am going to catch shit for this. But I'd say this was a productive day. Driving back into position, I turned back to the twerps, who had been quiet this whole way back. Rolling my eyes at the inevitable shitstorm, I will soon face, I let them out. But, instead of running off, they stood still, looking toward me with their heads down. "Alright, go run off, parents. Tell them the big bad human scared you with her big scary metal monster."

"..." They didn't leave. Instead, they started trembling. I picked my news and brace for the sprinklers. But, the salt never flowed from their eyes. They looked up at me with bright smiles that matched Cheeky Pinkie. "Awesome!!!"

Okay, I didn't see that coming. "Wha--"

"We were moving all by ourselves!!!" Pipsqueak said.

"And we were going so fast. It was like flying!" Rumble said.

"And, did you see what you did to the Timberwolves? They couldn't touch us!"

All three of the twerps turned back to me with pleading expressions. "Can we go again?"

"You want to go again? You liked all that?" I slowly said while looking at them in confusion.

"Yeah!!!"

My confusion shifts into a smirk. It looks like I got myself some adrenaline junkies. "I don't know. Are you three going to narc on me to your parents?"

"Narc?" Pipsueak asks.

"It means are you going to tell on me?" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Thunderlane is my older brother, and no way!" Rumble said.

"Good. Then, you twerps get to stick with the alpha bitch. Fair warning. I curse up a storm. I don't play well with others. You run with me; then you acknowledge me as boss. And I am the worst role model. Got it?" The three dorks nod eagerly at my terms. "Great. If you want to see more cool human shit, then I suggest cleaning the ranger until I--"

"See your face in the reflection!" Button Mash finished for me. They jump on the car with sponges and rags and practically worship the damn thing. 

"Heh, we're going to get along fine." It's good to have minions again.





[Morning Breeze POV.]

All the guards were scrambling into the mansion after that strange roaring. It went off at the southeast side of the structure. Unfortunately, there weren't any guards at the time due to the shift change. By the time an investigation got underway, the creature was gone—nothing but a dust cloud left in its wake. Both the solar and lunar guards are scrambling to get answers. I saw my sister coming into the foyer. She is still not fully dressed. How can she be so casual about everything during a crisis?! I will never know. "Moonlit Shine. What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for my shift?" She gave me this bemuse look like I was the one breaking protocol.

"Could you do so with more urgency? A creature was around the perimeter and ran into the Everfree. We need to be on alert!"

"Huh, I didn't get an order from the CO. Plus, if you hadn't noticed yet, our base is a fortress of human design. Nothing is coming inside to eat us."

I groaned at her blatant disregard for the situation. "Just because the Lunar captain hasn't issued any orders doesn't mean we can stand here unprepared! Besides, this build may be impressive, but I doubt it is very different from any other home."

"You haven't been paying attention. Luckily, you have the lunar guard picking up the slack. This building will last. Its structure is on par with the castle of Two sisters." Moonshine said while I gawked at her.

"Wha-- How do you that?"

"One of those smarty ponies who came by to scan the place. You could drop an AMD on it; this baby still stands."

"Pfft. And how much of that statement is true with the anti-magic predominating the mansion?" Moonshine shrugs at my question as I pinched my snout. "Just please show some urgency and get ready."

"Hmm, alright," Moonshine said with a smirk. I wouldn't say I like that smirk. Then, to my great horror, Moonshine strips right before me. "Moonshine! What the hay?!?!"

"What? You said I need to get a change. You never know when we're needed. I can't do that in my civilities now, can I? Besides, we used to bathe as foals, so it's nothing you haven't seen before."

"Yes, as foals. Now, it's highly inappropriate! At least wait until I leave!"

Moonshine then moves closer to me, arms behind her back, smiling. "But who will watch my flank if some big scary monster from the Everfree decides to attack?"

"Gah! Fine! Take your time and get ready. I'm going back to my post!" I grumbled as I walked outside. Sometimes, I hate having white fur since it doesn't hide the blush. Why is my sister so weird?





[Living Room - Afternoon - Nancy's POV.]

I tapped my finger against the table relentlessly. The guard ponies were in an uproar from the apparent sound of a ranger pulling out of the garage. If Angela thought I was a pain in the arse before, then she has no idea what I have in store for her. I can already guess she probably took the Colts for a joyride as payback. If it were anywhere else, I might endorse a little scare. But ponies are skittish. Who knows how this will go over? Deep breathes love. You have guests to entertain. "So, would you two like a cuppa of tea?"

"How can you want tea at a time like this? Didn't you hear that roaring?" Thunderlane asked. Must these ponies be drama queens?

"It is very concerning, Miss Kingston, especially with it being so close to your home." Cream Heart said.

I wave my hand in dismissal. "Don't worry; this manor is more secure than Fort Knox. I would never pay a pound and a leg for some shady shack."

"What's Fort Knox?" Cream Heart asked.

"A well-built, well-protected government structure. You couldn't get within ten miles of it before you got spotted."  I said, earning incredulous looks from both of them. "How about a cuppa tea?"

"Cuppa tea?" Thunderlane asked.

"Cuppa tea," I smirked while buzzing for Angela.

"Oh, you must mean a cup of tea." Cream Heart offered.

I just smiled as Angie and the Colts went back into the room. They were carrying the afternoon tea. The aroma was delightful as I picked up a cup and inhaled the scent. "Ah, that smells heavenly. Angie, be sure to thank Walter for me."

"Yeah, yeah," Angie grumbles in her usual greetings.

"Are you okay, dear? I was so worried when we heard that roaring." Cream Heart said, checking over her son.

"Yes, Angela. It was a loud and dreadful sound. But, I am sure you were safe within the manor." I shot my 'employee' a glare.

Angela had the gull shrug at me, " I haven't got the faintest idea. I heard from the walking clunkers that there were crazy things in that forest. Who knows, right boys?"

"Yeah," Button said.

"Scary stuff," Rumble added.

"It's quite dangerous, ma'am." Pipsqueak affirms.

I deadpan at all of them. It seems Angela has some new followers after their joyride. I sighed and took a sip. "Well, I am sure we don't have anything to worry about with all the guards stationed here." Cream Heart said as she turned to her son.

"Are you sure everything is fine, dear?"

"Mom." Button whined. "I'm fine. It was just some loud noise. I don't know why everypony is freaking out."

Cream Heart's eyes shot up incredulously at this. It was relatively easy to guess why. The colt's attitude was a complete one-eighty from this morning. The same goes for the other two. I looked over to Angela, who was wearing a smug grin at the boy's words. There was no way in whatever passes as hell in this world that her little stunt was supposed to garner this kind of reaction. Yet, here she was, acting like it did. Would adding another week to her sentence be spiteful? No, no, it would not. Any further missing was interrupted by Diane coming into the living area with Miss Heartstrings and the twins. Diane smiled with excitement as she showed off a box in her hooves.

"Hiya, Thunderlane, Cream Heart. Who wants to play Jenga?"

"Jenga?" Thunderlane asked.

"It's a nifty human game." Diane took the box and dumped the contents on the coffee table. The others looked at the rectangular wooden blocks and assembled them into the tower. "Who wants to go first?"

"Um, what's the point of this game?" Cream Heart asked.

"You pull out the blocks without making the tower collapse." Miss Heartstrings said. "It's like being in construction. I'll go first." Our minty friend chooses one of the blocks on the side and puts it on top. "See? It's easy."

"And boring. What's the appeal to this?" Thunderlane asked. Despite his complaints, he still moves a piece from the right side. We laughed when the piece he touched was firmly in place, causing him to use more force and topple the tower. "What!?"

"You can't use too much force or risk knocking the tower over." Miss Heartstrings said.

"And you can't pick another piece after you touch one," Cece said.

"Wow. That was the fastest round ever."Pinkie commented.

"Hey, no fair. I didn't know this thing was so fragile. Go again!" Thunderlane outcried.

Pinkie reassembled the tower quickly as we all became invested. "It's okay, bro. You suck at the structure. Remember when you tried to impress the flower girls by building them a new stand?" Rumble said as he moved a middle piece to the top.

"Rumble! We don't talk about that, remember!"

"Oh? Is there a story here?" I teased.

"It wasn't much of a story; it was a full-blown news headline," Mrs Heart said. She moved the piece from the bottom middle to the top.

"Roseluck, Lilly, and Daisy are a little excitible." Miss Heartstrings said sheepishly. "When the stand holding their prize rose collapsed, they were screaming murderer throughout the streets of Ponyville."

"Yup, my big bro spent a week in the jailhouse," Rumble said.

"It was complete horseapples! I forgot to put in one screw! And they had four rose plots on it!" Thunderlane protest. 

"Well, maybe you would've done a better job if you weren't so busy charming up Lilly." Mrs Heart chastised.

"Hey, she was the one into me!"

At this outburst, Thunderlane made the tower collapse again. "Ha. Rizzing isn't the only thing you can't keep up." Angela mocked.

Thunderlane hits his head against the table in frustration before rebuilding the tower. "Again! And no more distractions!"

"Boss, what does rizzing mean?" Pipsqueak asked.

"Oh, that sounds tasty. Is it a new human food?" Diane asked. Bless her innocent heart.

"Depends on what you're sallowing," Angela smirks. The smirk falls as I shoot her a look. "Tsk. Relax, granny. It's just a word we use for dating each other..."

"Oh, so it's a part of human courtship?" Miss Heartstrings beamed. "We can talk about it after the game!"

"A splendid idea, Miss Heartstrings. I am sure there's more for Angela to share with you." I said with a wicked glee that made Angela groan.

The game went on for another hour. Thunderlane seemed to have the worst luck, making the tower fall over six more times while insisting on another round. It fell on my turn once. The twins had two. The Colts each had three collapses. Whereas Miss Heartstrings, Diane, and Mrs. Heart were picture-perfect. I would say the game helped ease the tension. Despite his losses, Thunderlane isn't as on guard as before, and Mrs Heart is much more relaxed and casual. I also notice that the twins sit beside the Colts and cheer each other on. I let out a content sigh at the feeling of normalcy since getting stranded here.

"Madam, we have a rather unscrupulous visitor." Walters suddenly said through my wrist intercom.

"Unscrupulous? What does that mean?" Button Mash said.

"I think it means unwanted, dear." Mrs. Cream Heart stated.

"Did you bring along anyone else?" I asked.

"No, it was just us and the foals."

"Maybe it is some of the town ponies wanting to come and make new friends," Diane said, bless her naive heart.

"Pfft, yeah, right. I'd give my left nut if the ponies of this town want to start acting like they give a--"

"Thank you, Angela." I interrupted. "I am sure the guards will turn this pony away."

"I am afraid it is the opposite, madam. The guards allowed this pony on the premises. He's waiting in the main foyer now." Walter said.

Angela instantly shot up upon hearing that. "The hell? What are those walking suits doing?"

As I got up, I was inclined to agree. I pressed the button on my intercom to respond: "Walter, notify my grandson and the others. Tell them to meet me in the foyer."

"Already done, madam. They are there and waiting for you. Our guess is with the Mayor; they have some important matters to discuss."

"Well, let's be off then."





[Main Floyer - Juliet POV.]

"I can understand the Mayor being here. But, I am afraid I am at a loss as to who you are, sir." Xavier said evenly.

I know that tone. Xavier isn't feeling very hospitable, and it's not that I blame him. We all got the news and made it to the foyer quickly. When Walter told us the problem, I could hardly believe the guards would let someone in our home without credentials. But he was - a portly Earth stallion with royal blue fur and a burnt orange mane - wearing a goudy pink suit. He had this greasy, rich tycoon air all over him. Mayor Mare is with him, along with Twilight. While Mayor Mare is looking apologetic, Twilight is entirely indifferent. Nana Kingston came strutting into the foyer with our pleasant company. I know that walk. Nana wasn't here to give a warm greeting. All of us were anxious as Nana spoke. 

"Can I help all of you?"

"Yes, you can, madam. You can start by giving me a tour of my new home resort." The stallion said.

"Excuse you!?" Nana balked.

"I am fine, thank you."

"Perhaps an introduction is needed here, Mister Piggybottom," Mayor said in an exhustated tone.

"Ah, yes, that is right. I can't be rude—that's bad for the brand. I am the illustrious Jiffy Piggybottom, Founder and Owner of the largest, super convenient marketplace—Nifty Jiffy's—where you get rock-bottom prices in a jiffy." 

"Huh, not a bad slogan," Donny said as we glared at him. "What? It is!"

"Thank you. Our marketing team is top of the line."

"That's all peachy, but it doesn't explain why you're here," I said.

"Why, I am here to tell you all the good news. You are all a part of the Jiffy family. I have to say, employing hyo-mans will be good optics." Jiffy laughed.

"And who the fuck says we're working for a corporate lard ass?" Angela added her unique take. It's rare when Nana Kingston lets that slide.

"That is why I am here and wanted to handle delivering the news," Mayor Mare said in aggravation. You see, Mister Piggybottom purchased the land on which your house appeared. In all the excitement, there were delays in processing the paperwork. But they just cleared a few days ago. The land is legally under Mister Piggybottom's ownership."

All of us picked up on what the Mayor was saying. "...And that includes everything on top of it." Xavier croaked out.

"Bullshit! Wasn't this place under quarantine by Princess Cowtits?! Or is this a new way of fucking us over!" Angela cussed.

"Princess Celestia is fair and just. She would not bend the rules when it comes to legal documentation. The reason for Mister Piggybottom's earlier comments is that Princess Celestia has approved your citizenship in Equestria. Thus, the quarantine is lifted." Twilight hotly stated as she produced our certificates. It was all here with the royal seal and everything. "However, as citizens of Equestria, you are subject to Equestrian law. Therefore, you do not have permission from Mister Piggybottom to occupy his land."

"I was going to open a store in this little hamlet—bring in some much-needed traffic to boost the quality of life. Imagine the heartbreak I suffered when a freak occurrence uprooted my chance to pioneer change," Jiffy said. 

We all can hear the swarm of his tone. "Grandma, what does this mean? Is Mister Piggy going to live with us now?" CC asked. The thought of that made my skin crawl. If the situation weren't serious, I would've chuckled at the name slip-up. 

"Normally, it would mean you all would pack up and leave the permisses - either civilly or by armed escort--"

"You think you're going to fucking put us out!?!?" Angela had to be restrained by Leo and Donny as she lunged out Jiffy.

"But I understand your situation is unique, so I devised a wonderful compromise for all of you. You can work under me. You." He points to Xavier. "You can be the manager. You strike me as a creature of organization." He points to me next. "You can be the greeter, holding the door and saying hello. Ponies love pretty faces. Say, let me see you smile."

I can't believe this asshole. "What?! I'm not--"

"Oh, never mind. Those teeth will scare away the clients."

"Hey, that's my sister you're talking about!" Donny said in outcry.

"Oh, good. Ponies love tight familial bonds in the workforce. You can stock the shelves. And you." He points to Leo, who still holds Angie back while arching a brow. You are strong. My new store will need somepony to watch the merchandise. I don't expect any thievery in a niche community like this, but you know how some foals can't help themselves."

Jiffy went to ruffle Button Mash's mane, but Cream Heart pulled him back with a disapproving stare. "I can't help but ask where that leaves me in your plans?" Nana Kingston asked.

"Why, head maid, of course. You and the young ones can help around my property since you have the most experience caring for it. There will hardly be a change to the status quo at all."

"Hell No!!!"

"You out of your mind!"

"You can't do that!!!"

"FUCK THAT!!!"

We all, except for the ponies and Nana, voiced our objections. There was no way this was happening right now! "If everypony will calm down, I believe I have a solution," Twilight said, gaining our attention. "Since you are the only group of humans left in the world, that makes you an endangered species. That means you fall under the Preservation Act."

"Why does that sound like a government-endorsed breeding program?" Xavier questioned as Angie and I balked.

"I assure you it is nothing so crass. You will be relocated to Canterlot and provided every comfort until you feel ready to expand your numbers." Twilight finished with a pleased look on her face. I bet she spent a few hours in the mirror practicing that line. How could she think we would be on board with something like this!? Before we could protest further, Nana spoke up.

"Ah, so less of a breeding program and more of population control right under the Princess' watchful eye," Nana Kingston said in disgust. "I paid for this manor and oversaw its construction. It isn't just a fancy structure or pampered living. It is our home—a place we can have peace, where I will die before anyone takes it away!"

I saw the guards tense up as Jyffy's face went sour. However, before anything could happen, Lyra joins the discussion. "Wait! There is something they can do!"

"What's that, Minty?" Donny said.

"You can repurchase the land. A similar issue happened in the farmlands  of Baltimare." Oh god, the puns. "A bunch of settlers built their homes on owned land. The settlers didn't know the land belonged to someone else when the owner found them. The royal guard got involved, and the settlers almost got the boot. But they had already planted their crops. That's when one of the farmers promised to pay their worth with the earnings of their crops. The soil proved fertile enough to grow many crops, and the farmers brought the land from the owner by the end of their harvest."

"Oh, I remember reading about that exchange. It went all the way to the Princess herself." Mayor Mare said. "If you can acquire the funds to pay Mister Piggybottom for the deed, you can continue your residence here."

"Hmm, I suppose that is fair if you are willing to pay a million bits—an amount I doubt you have on hand." Jiffy chuckled.

I made a face at that. Where can we get that kind of money without access to Nana Kingston's bank account? "How much time are we allotted?" Xavier asked.

"Six months is the standard time frame for monetary exchanges," Twilight stated.

"Fucking nerd." Angie scoffs.

"Then, we agree. I wish you all the best of luck. And don't fret; I'll keep my word and take you all into my employ should the unfortunate yet obvious outcome happen. If you need me, come by the Two-bit Inn and give me a holler. Have a good day."

"Hold on!" Nana called out. "What do you say we put a wager as well." 

"A wager? What do you have in mind?"

"When we come up with the money to buy the land, you must double our payout. Should we lose, we will work for you, with no questions asked.

"Hmm, that hardly seems fair. I am the only one paying out of pocket in this deal. How about I take a million of your paychecks, and we'll shake on it?" Jiffy holds on to his greasy hoof.

"Grandmother-"

Xavier started, but Nana cut him off. "I have faith in us, dear." She looks back to the stallion and shakes his hoof. "You have a deal, Jiffy." 

"Haha, that boss Jiffy to you, madam." The stallion finally left.

Nana glares into the back of the stallion's head as he finally left. "Walter, please bring me some hand sanitizer."

"Right away, madam," Walter said as he left the foyer.

"Ms. Kingston, are you sure it was wise to make that deal?" Cream Heart asked.

"Good fucking question," Angie said, marching up to Nana. "Stupid old hag! Where do you get off selling us up shits creek!? Are you finally going senile?"

All the ponies could see a growing tension and went to leave. "This conversation seems personal. Button Mash and I will take our leave now."

Cream Heart took her son's hoof and went to the door as he protested. "But, Mom!"

"Now, Button Mash. You and the other go get changed."

"We - uh - got to go too, Rumble. Come on, Pip. We'll drop you off at the orphanage." Thunderlane said.

"Oh? So you're going sit here and pretend you didn't lose the pot back. Where do you think we're going to get that money? A fucking foreign exchange rate? Better yet, let's give the horse all the cash we have on hand. I'm sure green mint bills might taste like shit-stained grass. Maybe Julie can sell her ass for two bits and a holler down gingerbread lane."

"Hey!!!" I shrieked.

"Don't you mean sugarcube corner?" Pinkie said.

Angie went to respond, but Nana cut her off. "Before you speak, Angela, know this: I have been more lenient with you today. We will discuss this more in the living room, but I have already said I have faith in our ability to overcome this issue. Now curb your bloody tongue before I grate it with my clever!"

Angie grits her teeth to stop a snappy remark and relents as Xavier returns with the Colts. "Hey, look at you three. Nice duds," Donny says as the Colts all have new clothes.

"Check me out, bro," Rumble said, showing off a black check with a black jacket, a white shirt, a combo, and gray pants.

"Yeah, these clothes are awesome." Button Mash said, wearing a red shirt with blue shorts.

"It is rather nice." Pipsqueak complimented. He had a powered blue shirt and brown pants.

A gasp escapes from Cream Hearts' muzzle. "A-Amazing. If I were here, I would've thought Rarity made these clothes."

"How the hay you made them this fast?" Thunderland asked.

"I had these numbers premade from last night. I couldn't resist the prospect of making clothing for a different species." Xavier said.

"You certainly are perfect. But I can't accept these for free," Cream Heart said as she took out a checkbook. "Here, I can't spare much, but at least this will be a good starting point for your debt."

All of us looked at the check as Pinkie exclaimed. "Wow. A thousand bits. That is a good start. Hold up." Pinkie said, rummaging through her mane and pulling out a bag. "Here you go, Pinkie's rainday fun bag funds. It should be about 500 bits here."

"Pinkie. We can't take that from you." I said. 

"Tch. We don't need any handouts." Angie said.

"Well, it's a good thing we don't have hands." Lyra joked, holding a bag herself. "I can pitch in 200 hundred of my bits right now. I have to go back home to get another 300, and Bonnie owes me a favor so I can squeeze some bits out of her. And I bet she has some openings in her shop."

"Yeah, and the Cakes are always looking for some extra helpers. There's an opening for an assistant chef right now. You'll be Pinkie Pie endorsed!"

All of us were at a loss for words at the showing of kindness. CC and Nattie ran over and hugged Lyra and Pinkie. "You're the best ponies." CC chirped happily.

"Bro. We got to help out, too." Rumble said

Thunderlan rubs the back of his head, letting out a long hissing sound. I know that hiss. Donny always does that when he's broke or wants to welch on a bet. "Tiss. I - uh - don't know. I'm strapped for bits right now."

"So, you're broke," Donny called out.

"I'm not broke!"

"Yeah, he's poor," Angie said.

"What!? Hey, you're looking at a future Wonderbolt!"

"I hope they don't accept admission fees since you're so strapped for bits." Donny goaded.

"Aragh. Fine!!!" Thunderlan cries out as he fishes inside his pocket and throws out a bag. "That's 250 bits. And I got five thousand in the bank! I'll bring a thousand over with Rumble tomorrow. Does that sound poor to you?"

"Nope, sounds good, bro. Let's go home." Rumble said with a bright smile.

"Yeah, let's go. I'll show you who is poor and broke. You're all the ones without a job and bits..." Thunerlane grumbled as the two left.

"We'll be on our way as well. Thanks again for your time and patience." Cream Heart said, ushering Button Mash outside.

"Um, sir?" Pipsqueak said, gaining Xaviers' attention. 

"Hmm? Yes, Pip?"

"These clothes you made..."

Xavier arched a brow as we all looked at him. "Yes? Are they too tight? Would you like me to refit them?"

"...No, sir. They are fine. Thank you." With that said Pipsqueak ran out behind Thunderlane and Cream Heart.

"What now?" Leo asked.

"Let's all move to the living first." Nana Kingston stated. The walk was short and quiet before we entered the room and took our seats. Donny and Leo sat with me on the couch with Lyra to the right. The twins sat on their knees by the coffee table with Pinkie. Angie opted to lean on the bookcase. And Nana sat in her armchair with Xavier flanking her left. Walter joined us a little later with some hand sanitizers. After applying some to her hands, Nana clapped them together as she went to speak. "Alright, loves, let's brainstorm."

"Are we sure our currency is worthless? We never went to any official treasury to discuss foreign exchange?" Xavier asked.

"Hmm, I suppose it is worth a try. Pinkie, does Equestrian Bank utilize credit cards?" Nana asked.

"Do you mean those little plastic cards? No, I can't say we have those. I still don't know how a little card can hold all your bits. Are you sure you can't use magic?" Pinkie innocently asked.

"...Right, that's a no then..."

"What about our gold and jewels in the lock boxes?" Xavier asked.

"Assuming we can trade those, their value runs up to one hundred thousand," Nana said.

"Well, that's a good start."

"Oh. Oh. There's the cakes and Bon Bon's candy shop. And we can check with my friends. I'm sure Applejack has plenty to do on the farm. There's also Rarity's shop and Fluttershy's animals." Pinkie reminded.

"And let's not forget the bulletin board in the town hall," Lyra added.

"Those are fine suggestions, but the problem lies with the ponies. Will any of them be willing to interact with us?" Nana said.

"Fat chance of that happening. Other than that fat sack of glue from earlier and cow tits purple gimp, none of the citizens of Maryland came out rushing to see us." Angie said. She gained a thoughtful expression before smiling. "Although, after looking at how we rolled Thinderdunce out of some money, these ponies might be some of the easiest marks."

"First off, no. We're not pulling scams. That will make ponies distrust us more. Second, you have a point. We're not the most popular around here." I said dejectedly.

"That's because ponies don't know you like we do." Lyra vehemently denied it while she gestured to herself and Pinkie. "I know the past few weeks are rough, and Ponyville ponies are a bit skittish, but I know they can come around."

"We need to eliminate the preconceived notion that we're some bloodthirsty barbarians," Walter commented.

"So, what do you suggest? A tour through our lovely abode? A documentary on the life of the humans?" Donny asked.

"Don't be a butt!" I said, making Donny chuckle.

"Oh. Why don't we do that?" Double C said.

"Do what, dear?" Nana asked.

Nattie points to the TV as the twins smile. "We always have for movie night. Why don't we share it with the ponies in town?"

All of us stared at the girls in shock. "That could work," I slowly said.

"It could, but we have to regulate what we show," Nana said.

"We could overcharge like the movie theater on snacks!" Donny exclaimed.

"Reasonable prices!" Leo said flatly.

"Heh, I got a couple of shows to share." Angie grinned as I felt a sweat drop.

"Oh, I can pass out the flyers and spread the word. Ponies are going to love this!" Pinkie cheered.