> The Dragon's Secret > by FabulousDivaRarity > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > The Dragon's Secret > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Secrets. Smolder had them. Everyone did, she supposed. She just didn’t think other species had ones that were so… embarrassing. Maybe some ponies did, but she didn’t know any dragons who did. Nor any Griffons for that matter. Because of this she felt isolated. But now that she had her friends, it was slightly better. But even this… she didn’t think even her friends could understand this. It was one thing to admit she liked cute and girly things. That was… marginally acceptable. But this was downright humiliating in any respect. She stared at the packages. They were hidden in a compartment she had made under the bed. Now that her room was locked, she could inspect them. She had gone to a store very far away, where she wouldn’t be recognized. It was Our Town, counselor Starlight’s old village. Now that they were a part of Equestria that was recognized, they received many imports from other parts of Equestria. So, at the edge of Equestria, she had bought what she needed, and told the shopkeepers she was picking things up for a friend. It wasn’t entirely untrue, since she had learned in time to be a friend to herself. So, As her own friend, she did something kind in the hopes that someday her future self would thank her. She did not know that day would be today. She lay a claw over those packages, ran it over the plastic packaging. It looked so inviting. But did she dare open it? She reminded herself that dragons were not scared of anything, and used a claw to open it. The inviting objects lay inside, and she reached out to touch one. Then, entranced, she pulled one out. The package she had was a package of diapers. She knew exactly where this originated. Sandbar had taken her, Yona, Ocellus, and Silverstream to Sugarcube Corner one day for cupcakes. While Mr. Cake had been taking their order, Mrs. Cake had been tending to Pound and Pumpkin. While they were waiting and eventually while they were eating their cupcakes, Smolder’s attention had been drawn to the twins. Something had stirred in her, seeing that. It was so different from the way it was in the dragonlands. After hatching, Dragons weren’t exactly taken care of by parents or other dragons for that matter. It was more of a community raising of sorts. Yes parents raised their kids, but so did everyone else. And dragons were urged to be fiercely independent from the first day out of the egg. Parents did not lavish affection on their hatchlings the way ponies did their foals. Something about the way Mrs. Cake interacted with her foals attracted her. More so, the way the foals were happy and joyful and carefree attracted her even more. She was not a sappy, hugging, mushy kind of creature, but a little affection once in a while would be nice. She thought that might have sparked her interest in babyish items. It had taken her a long time to get to the point where she actually bought some. Quite a few months, in fact. This was her second time ever purchasing products, and the first for diapers themselves. The first time, she had bought stuff she could hide easily. A pacifier, a bottle, a soft toy. Small, discreet items that could fit just about anywhere. The compartment under her bed, well, that hadn’t been built there. She knew because she had moved it a few times when she had wanted to sleep on the floor when she was homesick for caves. But the day she brought those supplies to her room in secret, it had appeared. Smolder did not like to think someone had been in her room, but there was another explanation she thought fit this. The Tree Of Harmony had roots beneath the school, and had a will of it’s own. It was not beyond reason for it to possibly cater to her whimsy in this instance. If the Tree had helped inadvertently shape Headmare Twilight and her friends’ destiny, perhaps it was catering to hers too. So the items were slipped in and occasionally used. But the picture never felt complete, and she realized why. She was missing a piece of the puzzle, and now the puzzle had been completed. Well, almost. Now she just had to try one on. She had managed to catch glimpses of how foals were changed, so she figured she could do it for herself. It was more difficult than she anticipated considering she hadn’t done it before. But with a bit of powder and her crinkling garment taped up, she had done it. She got up, the diaper making noise as she moved. She got her pacifier out too, and popped it into her mouth before she went to take a look in the mirror. When she looked she was equal parts awed and disturbed. She did not recognize the dragon in the mirror. The image staring back at her had her coloring and her eyes, but it wasn’t her. She raised a claw, and the not-her copied the movement. The dragon in the mirror had some quality she didn’t. She racked her brain trying to figure out that was before she settled on one. That dragon looked innocent, when she herself knew she was anything but. But for now, in this instance, she wanted to believe the mirror dragon. She stumbled when she walked again, the edge of the rug nearby sticking up and catching her foot. Balancing was not easy in the thick padding, and she fell on her stomach. So, she crawled her way to the compartment. She pulled out the doll. It was a small thing, with button eyes and a stitched on smile. But the doll made her feel happy looking at it. She gave it a hug. It was filled with tiny beans, so it flopped when moving, but sometimes if she moved it carefully enough, she could feel the beads moving underneath the cloth, and it was oddly soothing. She crawled, this time by choice, back to the mirror. The mirror dragon somehow looked even younger, and happier too, impossible as it seemed. She wondered, perhaps morbidly, if this was what dragons were missing. Were they supposed to be rough and tumble? Absolutely. But maybe if they had felt this kind of happiness or care, they wouldn’t be so… Jaded, and unwilling to accept new things, like friendship. Friendship… Smolder’s thoughts turned to her friends now. What would they think of all of this? I mean, it wasn’t like they hadn’t shared secrets before, and in an odd way they did know a little about this because of her admittance of liking cute things, but going this far with it… It seemed impossible to comprehend. How could she tell them? And would they even understand? She did not know, but for a fleeting moment, she wished someone would. Fate, or perhaps even the Tree Of Harmony itself, had heard her. In her haste to get to her room, she had remembered to lock the door, and the window was closed… but the window was not locked. The window was somewhat a replica of stained glass, but it had panels and could open from the outside or inside if the small latch hooking the sides together was not moved to lock them. And maybe it was some kind of divine intervention when she looked back on things later. Because as she sat in front of the Mirror, a sudden crash filled her ears. She whipped around to see Silverstream and a few flakes of confetti on her floor. “Sorry Smolder, Professor Pinkie Pie was using her party cannon to launch me in the air because I thought it looked so fun, but the aim was a little…” She trailed off as she caught sight of Smolder. “…Off.” Silverstream looked dazed, and Smolder tried to cover herself with a blanket, but Silverstream had already seen. Smolder was not one to blush or be easily embarrassed, but today her cheeks flamed pink. Silverstream, bubbly and bouncy as she was, hopped up off of the floor. For a beat, Smolder didn’t breathe. She soon turned her choice of words to couldn’t breathe because Silverstream was crushing her in a hug that might have rivaled Yona’s and made her pacifier spit out from her mouth from the force. “You look sooooo cute!” Silverstream squealed. “…Air.” She wheezed. Silverstream let go sheepishly. “Sorry.” Smolder stared at her a beat. Then: “Well?” “Well what?” “Aren’t you going to tell our friends about this or start laughing or something?” Smolder had her arms crossed, on the defensive, but the effect was lost because of the diaper and doll she was still holding. Silverstream smiled but it was… oddly mature for her normally girlish nature. “Silly Smolder, I wouldn’t laugh at you, and I wouldn’t tell our friends about this either! Not unless you wanted me to, of course.” Smolder blinked. “Huh?” Silverstream giggled. “Don’t look so surprised! You admitted you like cute things, and I saw the way you looked at the foals in that sweet shop we went to. Even without seeing this before I could have put this all together.” “Wait, you’ve seen this before?” Silverstream nodded. “I used to hang out with my cousin Skystar, and we used to go do some charity stuff together when we were under the sea. When we were little and on our way to one of our first charity projects, we found a bunch of Seaponies who liked acting like babies. They were only six at the time, but whenever we went back around that area, we saw them in a trench. They probably thought it was a safe place to go, since it can be dark down there, but we always saw. Even when we went back years later, they were still doing it. I guess I kinda figured that some seaponies never grew up. And then when we got Mount Aris back, I ended up finding those hippogriffs one day, and they had made diapers from towels. Aunt Novo made sure the baby hippogriffs had the real thing, and I guess towels were the only thing that could fit them. This is my first time actually seeing a diaper up close though. It’s different than what I thought.” Smolder managed to catch most of the rambling, despite zoning out a few times. She looked down at the diaper at her waist. It was pretty comfy. “It’s kind of like a pillow.” She said after a moment. “Looks like it.” Smolder looked back up and Silverstream was smiling. Seeing that familiar smile loosened something inside of her. She might have ordinarily found that grin too chipper, but at the moment it was a comfort. Someone had seen her like this and the world hadn’t come to an end. But with that loosening came a different feeling. A longing. She wanted… What? Silverstream, despite what her friends and other ponies may have thought, had quite a knack for perception of the feelings of others. She could see Smolder was struggling with something. She thought she understood what it was, but knew that Smolder was much too proud to ask for it. It was up to her to take that first step, to reach out to her friend. “You know,” She began, “I babysit all the time.” “Huh? What?” Smolder stammered, interrupted from her musings on her odd feelings. “I babysit all the time. I used to do it back home for family and friends, and I do it here too. I wanted to bring something from home with me here, I think. So I took up babysitting again. I’ve babysat the Cake Twins a few times when I’m not here at the school.” “Really?” “Mhm!” Silverstream brightened. “I have some things in my room that you might like, if you want?” “Really?” “Of course! I love making all creatures happy. My cousin and I sort of made it our mission. As your friend, I’ll do anything I can to help!” “Are you sure? It’s not too… Weird?” Silverstream giggled. “Smolder, babies are babies no matter how big they are.” “I’m not-“ But the protest died on her lips. She figured it was pointless to argue at this stage. “Okay.” Silverstream grinned. “Great! I’ll be right back! Just stay behind the door when I go out so no one sees you.” She advised. Smolder nodded, taking the nugget of wisdom, and hid. Silverstream was out the door, and Smolder shut it, before she waited for what seemed like hours before her friend came back. Silverstream came carrying saddlebags, picked up from a nearby shop, that was completely full. When the door was shut and the two of them were safely into the room, she dumped out the contents. Blocks, a rattle, some stacking rings, a bottle of milk that appeared to be enchanted to keep the contents from spoiling, and a few storybooks that looked to be made of some material that could not be ripped, tumbled onto the floor. Smolder looked to the hippogriff in shock, but Silverstream just giggled. “What? You have to cover the basics. I had a few other things in there, but this was what I thought you could use.” Smolder gave her friend a smile, and picked up one of the blocks. It was wooden, with smooth edges and letters carved into them. It weighed enough to be known when one picked it up, unlike it’s foam counterparts that barely registered with someone, but not enough to be heavy or injure a small foal if it fell on their leg. Structurally speaking, they were impressive. And speaking of structures… Smolder didn’t hesitate to begin building. It was a pyramid, made from six of the ten blocks Silverstream had brought. It would be fun to knock down. Silverstream, usually loquacious in all things, was unnaturally quiet, watching to see what Smolder would do or build next, with a smile. Smolder gave a fake roar, and then knocked down the blocks with her claw. The pyramid, in front of Silverstream at that point in time, collapsed, and she knew that it was the right moment to jump in. “Oh no!” She said in mock horror, “The mighty dragon has breached our last defense! What shall we do?” Smolder gave a sly grin and stepped over the remains of her pyramid. “Surrender to the mighty dragon overlord!” “Yes, oh mighty overlord! What can I give you in order to stop this rampage?” Silverstream begged. Just then, Smolder’s stomach growled. She blinked. “Uh… Lunch?” Silverstream giggled. “Of course. Can’t have a hungry hatchling!” Silverstream grinned. She got the bottle from it’s resting place on the floor. “If you have gems you want to put in here, now’s the time.” She said. Smolder looked momentarily surprised, but she did have a few gems in her drawer. She grabbed two as Silverstream twisted off the nipple, and crushed them into dust, before dropping the now somewhat powdery substance into the milk. Silverstream replaced the nipple and shook up the bottle before sitting on Smolder’s bed. “I can feed you If you want?” Smolder was taken off guard by that. Dragon instincts screamed at her not to put herself in such a vulnerable position, but this new part of her, the part that belonged to the dragon in the mirror who looked so innocent and craved affection, was louder and drowned out everything else. So she nodded, and got onto the bed, before maneuvering herself into Silverstream’s lap. It was awkward to the part of her mind that couldn’t get over the idea of being this openly trusting toward someone, but the rest of her was enjoying it. And once the bottle was in her mouth, the awkwardness seemed to fade. She focused on drawing out the milk, now tinged with the sweet flavors of the gems she crushed. Her eyes closed instinctively at first, drawn shut by her need to focus on the matter at claw, but when she got a rhythm down, she opened them back up, and saw Silverstream smiling gently at her. In that smile, Smolder saw questions in herself that she could not answer. Is this what being taken care of felt like? Was this how all babies of any species felt? Comforted and wrapped in safety by a caregiver? Was this too odd for Silverstream? But when Smolder looked into those eyes again, the last question was negated. It wasn’t odd to her. The look in Silverstream’s eyes exuded calm and gentle happiness. She knew that were she not dressed as a hatchling right now and not nursing a bottle, she might have been disgusted by the mushiness of it all. But she was not. Instead, she was comforted, and she felt loved by a creature acting as a parental figure. She had not felt that way at any time in her memory. Maybe she had been drawn to this because it gave her the childhood she wished she had? She didn’t know. It was so confusing, all of these thoughts, feelings, and questions racing through her head. So she closed her eyes again and focused on the suckling sensation instead, and it seemed to clear away the overwhelming thoughts. When the bottle was empty, she didn’t immediately recognize it. The soothing motion of nursing had nearly put her to sleep, and her long day certainly hadn’t helped matters. It was only when the nipple was removed from her mouth with an audible pop that she opened her bleary eyes. Suddenly Silverstream was putting her over her shoulder and patting her back. Her first instinct was to struggle and fight, but a newer one stopped it. One that told her that this was supposed to happen. It wasn’t until she let out a belch that she knew why it was happening, her brain fogged up enough to not be able to put together the logic. She had not breathed any fire that time, and why that was she was unsure, but even if she had it wouldn’t have mattered. Silverstream’s hair was nowhere nearby, and her fire only traveled so far. Even if it made contact, it would have only felt the crystal of the walls, which was fireproofed by magic in this room. When Silverstream set her down, she almost blushed. “Sorry.” Silverstream just shrugged it off. “All babies do it.” “I guess so.” Smolder said, unsure of what else to say. “You looked pretty sleepy there for a while. Do you want to take a nap?” She asked. A nap sounded tempting, but she was somewhat worried to take one for fear that perhaps all of this was some odd dream, or if it wasn’t that it would seem like one when she woke. So she shook her head. “No.” “Wanna play, then?” “Okay.” And so they played. Cities were built and destroyed, rings were stacked and dumped, rattles were shaken and giggled at, dolls were dressed up, and one of the few storybooks were read. But in the midst of another building, Smolder felt a dilemma catch up to her. She needed the bathroom. At first she had ignored it, but now it was becoming too urgent to ignore. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Silverstream knew what that meant, because though she had not had her legs long, she had seen ponies who needed the bathroom squirm that way. She was unsure of the action to take here, but she knew she needed to do something before Smolder unintentionally hurt herself by holding it too long. “Smolder?” Smolder almost jumped at the noise, but years of being calm in a hard situation kept her from it. “What?” “If you need to go to the bathroom, you have two choices. The one you pick is up to you, but you need to pick one before you hurt your body. When Spike guest lectured in Professor Fluttershy’s class he did say that dragon’s bodies, although almost impenetrable outside, were still the same on the inside as any of us, which means you could hurt yourself if you hold it too long.” Smolder rolled her eyes. “I’m a dragon. We live for thousands of years. One time is not going to make a difference.” Silverstream sighed. “You’re even more stubborn than Gallus sometimes.” “I am not! We both know he’s the minotaur here.” Silverstream immediately concocted a plan. “Oh yeah? Prove it.” “What?” “Stop being stubborn and take my suggestion.” “…Did you plan that?” “Maybe…” Smolder hesitated. Then: “Clever.” “Thank you. But please, make a choice. If you want me to leave so you can do it on your own I will, but I really don’t like seeing you in pain.” Smolder was admittedly taken aback. “I… Okay. You don’t have to go, though. Just help me figure this out.” “Alright.” Said Silverstream patiently. Smolder was… conflicted to say the least. Yes, she had purchased the diapers. Yes, she knew what they were used for. But she hadn’t planned for this part. When this moment came, she thought she would be facing it on her own, with plenty of time to think. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. But her screaming bladder let her know that now was the time to make a decision. She quickly weighed her options. On the one claw, she could go to the bathroom. No muss, no fuss. But that also meant wasting a diaper, and they weren’t cheap to buy. On the other, she could use the diaper for it’s intended purpose, and not waste it. But what of her pride? And how would she go? It wasn’t like she could undo years of training to get to a cave or a bathroom to go in. Holding it was taking some real concentration now. She knew she had to make a choice, and she needed to make it now. Just when she thought she was making a decision, something brushed against her leg, and she squeaked involuntarily. But that moment was her undoing. Smolder’s concentration was overwhelmed by the thoughts in her head, the sensation of whatever it was against her leg, and the feeling of surprise that gripped her. Without warning or her consent, the floodgates had opened, and she found herself wetting her diaper. Shock paralyzed her temporarily, to the point where she did not move a muscle. Not in her face, her body, not even her eyes moved from their position, gaze transfixed on Silverstream’s face. Silverstream had been gathering up blocks when her tail brushed up against Smolder. She heard the squeal, and turned to see her friend frozen, when a hissing sound caught her ear. She knew exactly what was happening, but she was surprised it had happened at all. Specifically, with her in the room. But she had. And Smolder’s gaze caught hers. Her friend just looked shocked, so she did her best to convey calm. She knew it was the best way to not let things get out of claw afterward. After what seemed like eternity, the hissing stopped. Smolder finally broke eye contact (If you could even call it that because she had been looking through her the entire time) with Silverstream and looked down. Her diaper was yellow. Sagging a little, too. That was different. But then the shock abated as her feelings came into play. The first feeling she identified was, of course, Embarrassment. She could not believe what she had just done. And in front of Silverstream, too! She almost smacked herself in the head, but reminded herself that it was something that had happened without her permission. If she hadn’t been overwhelmed in her concentration, this might not have occurred. She might have very well decided to not use it at all, but the choice had been made for her, inadvertently. As she was trying to rationalize all of this, she remembered Silverstream’s promise not to tell anyone, and took meager comfort in it. Silverstream may be a chatterbox, but she would never break a promise like that. Smolder also reminded herself that she was in private, not in public. And then, as that embarrassment faded, other feelings came to mind. She felt safe and protected. Like she couldn't get hurt. And she felt little. So incredibly little. Little enough that this seemed okay, that it couldn't be helped. And then she focused on the actual sensation. It wasn't bad at all. She wasn't exactly sure what she had thought this would be like considering she'd never given it any thought. But this wasn't it. Thinking on it now, she supposed she might have presumed it to be cold, disgusting and demeaning, and uncomfortable and just plain wrong. But it wasn't like that at all. It was safe, and warm. Oddly comforting. It wasn't uncomfortable, just different. Then she remembered that Silverstream was still in the room, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other, not in discomfort from the diaper but from the reminder that Silverstream had seen this infantile act. When she dared a glance back up at Silverstream, the hippogriff exuded calm and patience. She seemed to be waiting for something. But what? Smolder didn’t know. “Uh…” Smolder began. Silverstream’s features softened notably, but kept that calm and reassuring gaze. “It’s fine, Smolder. You made a choice, and you’re not hurting anymore. That’s all I care about. And I already promised not to say anything. I’ll even do Professor Pinkie Pie’s “Pinkie Promise” if you want.” “No way!” Smolder said, quickly putting an end to that idea. “Professor Rainbow Dash already told me that she pops up wherever one of those happens, and I do NOT need anyone seeing this.” “Okay, Okay.” Silverstream tried to soothe her. “Just a regular promise then.” She said. Smolder nodded. “Okay.” “You need to change soon or you’ll get a rash.” Silverstream advised. “I’ve seen it before and it does not look pretty.” “O-Oh. Right.” Smolder said, trying to dust off her shock. Silverstream decided to take a leap of faith. “Smolder, have you ever changed a diaper before?" “I… No.” “Do you know how?” “You just pull off the tabs and replace it.” Smolder said, off-clawedly. “No… That’s not right. I know you haven’t done this before so… Can I… I mean, if you want I can… You know.” Silverstream rarely stumbled over her words, and it was this that gave Smolder pause. Smolder was not particularly used to dealing with emotions that were not sarcasm or anger like dragons were used to, but thanks to her friends, she was learning. In Silverstream, she could identify hesitation, and some fear. She thought she knew why. Silverstream didn’t want to intrude on her privacy, but she also wanted to help. Smolder was caught between wanting privacy and help. She felt surprise that Silverstream even wanted to help her, but she also was bewildered that a part of her wanted the help. She looked up at Silverstream and saw the subtle pleading in her eyes, and it made her give in. “Okay.” “Really?” Silverstream asked. Smolder just nodded, unwilling to speak. Silverstream’s eyes brightened a bit, but she maintained her calm otherwise and nodded. Smolder pulled out the rest of the diapering supplies from the compartment, feeling her diaper squish beneath her as she did so. When she got everything out, She set the supplies down. Silverstream smiled, and patted the floor. “Lay down on your back please.” She asked. Smolder complied, feeling a pit in her stomach. This was possibly- no, definitely- the weirdest thing she had ever done. But Silverstream looked very calm, nonjudgemental, and it soothed her to a degree. Silverstream took the diaper off, and Smolder might have shivered from the sudden cold were it not for her self control. Silverstream balled it up and put it into the nearby bathroom trash, then she got out wipes to clean her. Smolder tried not to think about what was happening, as Silverstream slid another diaper underneath her, and put on powder before taping her diaper up. When it was over, Smolder sat up as Silverstream went to wash her claws, and put the supplies away. She felt awkward to say the least, but in an odd way that was kind of gratifying. To be taken care of like a real baby would have been. She half-smiled to herself. When Silverstream came back out, they stared at each other for maybe two seconds before Smolder smiled at her. The effect intended was right, and Silverstream lit up like a pony Hearth’s Warming tree. And then, the adrenaline of what happened with her accident and subsequent change wore off, and she was suddenly overcome by exhaustion. Her entire body seemed heavy and leaden. Silverstream, ever observant, picked up on this. “Feel like a nap?” She asked. Smolder nodded. “Yeah. It’s been a long afternoon.” “I can read you another story if you want before you sleep?” “Sure.” So Smolder climbed into bed while Silverstream sat at her bedside and read her a story. Smolder quickly found herself growing sleepy and by the end of the tale, she was nearly asleep. Silverstream made sure she was tucked in and had a pacifier. “Sleep tight, Smolder.” She whispered, and started to make her way across the room. “Silverstream?” A small voice called after her. The hippogriff turned. “Yeah?” “Can you come back and take care of me again sometime?” Silverstream grinned. “Sure. Anytime you like.” Smolder smiled sleepily, and Silverstream saw it. “Night night, Smolder.” “Night… Mommy.” Before the surprise of that could even register on Silverstream’s face, Smolder was asleep. When it registered, she wasn’t all too sure if it was exhaustion induced or genuine, but either way, Silverstream was grinning. She couldn’t wait to do this again.