Six, (Anti)Hero of the Mojave Wastes, has been called by many names. But no name rung truer at that moment than idiot. A random quest out to the West, and what does he have to show for it? A new body, and a new world.
“Damn my head hurts... and why does it feel like I am wrapped in a fur coat?” I whipped open my eyes, hoping to see the walls of the Lucky 38 Penthouse, or at least the glow of a campfire. But all that was in my range of vision was tall green grass… wait… green?! I scrambled to sit up, but fell flat on my face. I looked at my body, mostly everything was still in place, my Elite Riot armor, black trench coat, and I could see the glow of my helmets optics.
But my leather gloves, they weren't fitted onto my hands… but like finger less gloves on… bird feet? What the hell! My front two feet were like an birds’ feet, like on Old Glory. My back two are like cat feet, but much larger ones, those of a big cat's, like the wild lions in Chicago. Attached to an odd body, very unlike my old one. And my clothes were adjusted to my new body, but I was missing my leather boots, and my socks too, pity, they had been made with pre-war material, so that they were cool in the heat, and warm in the cold.
I tried getting up, getting a different body was new, and I landed on my face. But I have seen aliens, fought cazadors, sung with Legion Assassins on Christmas (don’t ask), waltzed with a ghost on Halloween (The Sierra Madre is a crazy place for a friend's wedding), and wrestled deathclaws, I have the scars to prove it… or at least had. So I wouldn't let it stop me. I took off my helmet after getting comfortably onto my four feet. Then I grabbed shard of mirror I had scavenged from one of the houses in Higgs’ Village, Dr.Zero’s (Dr.0 if you hadn’t found out yet) I think. My face… It was a birds. My face looked like a raven from back home, with black and dark blue feathers, and a slightly jagged and shiny, black beak. My eyes were the same amethyst as the ones I’ve found in the mines of the Big Mountain, the same ones I’ve lived with since I woke up in Doc Mitchel's house.
I stripped and looked at the rest of my body, it was like a creatures straight out of a pre-war mythology book. I my body is a gryphon’s, with the front half of my body a Raven’s and the back half of a Panther's. My black pelt mixed with my raven blue feathers, making the two halves each distinct. The odd stuff covering my claws was a black colored, scale like substance, smooth too. My tail was the same color as the rest of my ‘panther's pelt’, my body was very streamlined, especially the panther half of my body (It's still weird saying that). There were even feathers on the top of my head that acted a bit like hair.
Looking into the shard, I confirmed that my necklace was still hanging from my neck, it has a braided leather band and a white bone amulet. It depicts a black raven in flight, it was one of the few things I had on me when I woke up. Well... besides my name. James Gavin, a very non-conspicuous name for the so called, Hero of the Wastes (More like anti-hero in my case).
I checked over my weapons, none of them were damaged. All of my ammo was in good condition, including my special ammo. I placed my usual load out in their respective holsters and holders around my body. While my Pip-Boy could just hold all of my weapons, and call them out again. It was a slow process, and often you wouldn't get the chance to draw your weapon until you were shot. So I carried a select few weapons on my person at all times. Slung over my back was an Airborne rifle called the All-American. An old Hunting Shotgun was strapped to my right side, while it used to be slung over a shoulder, this way was admittedly much better. A Light Shinning in Darkness, and my scoped Ranger Sequoia were holstered on my right side. Light was hidden partially in a flap of my duster, while my Sequoia was shown off proudly on where used to be my hip.
My knives, Blood-Nap, another Bowie knife, and a couple of good strong Combat Knives, were hidden around my body. Its always good to have a few tucked away in case you lose one during a fight. It would take more than two hands(claw, talon, THINGS?) to count the amount of times they've saved my life. The mutants of the wastes won't stop fighting if you drop your dagger, or if it's stuck in them. I remember fighting a Deathclaw in the Junction, where I had stuck one Combat Knife in his eye, the other where the sun doesn't shine. He only finally went down when I jabbed Blood-Nap into the roof of his gaping jaws. Ever since then, I made sure that I cleaned my knives, I had to toss that second Combat Knife into Mic and Ralph's for a couple of caps, and find a new one. I'm just glad that one was my worst blade, not my best.
But one of my favorite weapons was strapped securely on my left side. A dark blue hilted katana, in a black ornamental sheath. I found it on the body of a Japanese feral ghoul in a camp made out of an old Japanese fighter jet. He must have ejected before crashing but was caught in the nuclear fallout. He was living as a 'good' ghoul for a hundred years according to his holotapes, but he eventually succumbed to the monster within.
I checked on the rest of my supplies in my pip-boy. It was still fully stocked with my traveling kit. AKA enough ammo, stimpacks, and food to equip, heal, and feed an enormous army. Cigars (though I never smoked), Liquor (Mead, Ale, Scotch, Brandy, Whiskey, Beer, you name it.), Cards ("I broke every casino, Freeside to Prim to Reno!"), my Vault 13 canteen, a now useless keyring (but when I sharpen them, they'll become +999 throwing keys!), and all the other shit I own, I never travel without all if my possessions anymore. Not after the Sierra Madre... and Zion... AND Big Mountain... especially Big Mountain (stupid brains).
Now that my check-up is done, I took a deep breath, and counted down slowly, and let reality sink in.
10,
9,
8,
6 ("Six? What happened to Seven?"),
5,
4,
3,
2,
1,
"WHAT THE HELL!" I shouted, justifiably into the air. I looked down to my Pip-Boy and checked my World Map, and took a step back. "WHAT THE FUCK!"
I looked back down at the piece of Rob-Co trash, Signal Not Available. Signal not available? SIGNAL NOT AVAILABLE! The WORLD was covered in satellites! What the hell Robert! Another one of your toys failed! I never had any faith in yo... wait a second, this just confirms it. I'm not on Earth anymore... i'm not on Earth... i'm not on Earth! HAHA! Take that you piece of shit planet and your horrible Casino Rules! Let's see if the Casino's on THIS planet will let me play!
Sunset Shimmer was having a bad day... a really bad fucking day. First she gets expelled from Canterlot High, for something she didn't do.
Then she falls through the mirror portal, ends up back in Equestria, and botches up a teleportation spell. She had been sneaking through Canterlot Castle looking for the exit, when out of nowhere a guard shows up. She turns, he asks, she teleports, he reports. So now, not only is she in the middle of butt fuck nowhere, but Celestia knows she's here too.
She pulled her leather jacket closer and kept walking. She stuck out amidst the Gryphon settlers. She was getting quite a few stares, some curious, some angry, some lusting. But right now, she couldn't give a fuck about what they were thinking. What she needed was a drink, a strong one.
Ever since she left Equestria, and started living. She had stopped being so naive. She hadn't forgiven Celestia, and she sure as hell hadn't forgotten, but maybe now, she understood.
She nursed her drink in the crook of her hoof and took a sip. It was good, better than equish cider, and much better than the spiked punch at Canterlot High. But even then, it still wasn't enough to take her mind off things. She was a criminal, charged with the Improper use of magical objects (blame the mirror), and Illegal trespassing of Royal grounds (once again, all the mirrors fault). She wouldn't be able to make a living, she could go back and beg for forgiveness. Yeah... yeah! That might work, she could just go back, go back and apologize, return to her studies, learn some more Pyromancies!
She smiled into her glass, this could work out. She put down her glass, and was making to get up, but then she caught a glance of a newspaper. "Equestria's Newest Alicorn Gives Coronation Speech!". She grabbed the paper, and nearly cried, "Twilight Sparkle, former student of Princess Celestia, and newly crowned Princess of Friendship, regals crowd with a tale of Friendship between her and the other Elements of Harmony. Illustrating their journey from the return (and subsequent defeat) of Nightmare Moon, to the return of Chaos demon Discord, his rehabilitation, too the eventual defeat of Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings and King Sombra of the Newly Returned Cyrystal Empire. Later on she states: "Dear my Little Ponies of Equestria, today I become a Princess, once only the Most trusted and the Only student of Princess Celestia, I have risen all in thanks too all of my friends and the lessons we have learned along the wa...".
Sunshine couldn't believe it, the 'Trusted and Only student of Princess Celestia'. That title belonged to HER! She earned it by excelling, and through years of dreams and lessons. Yet the day she disappears she goes and gets a new student, and THEN makes her an ALICORN! Sunset gripped her glass again and took a gulp. She hadn't the bits to pay, but right now she couldn't care less. She wanted to cry away her tears, and drink away her tears.
Just as she finished the glass, the doors burst open and a pair of gryphons flew through. Well flew was too kind a word, they more... fell with style. One was quite ugly, dirty brown coat, filth covered jacket, and greased feathers. The other was... different. In Equestria most ponies were easy to distinguish, with a vast array of color combinations, mane/tail styles, and outfit choices. Not to mention Cutie Mark's, but in Gryphonia and the Gryphon Isles, it was different. Their, Gryphons looked like crossbreads between cats and birds. Eagles and lions being the most common, with owls and leopards being the least common. They had less variety and were generally very similar.
But this second gryphon was odd, he had a blue black coat, and covered most of his body. He was wearing green armor pieces and a black coat. He was also wearing a helmet, a helmet with glowing red eyes. A blue black tail was swishing behind him as he fought with the dirty Gryphon. The bartender quietly pulled a shotgun from beneath the counter and loaded some beanbag slugs.
As they tussled the blue one (now dubbed Blue) pulled a bloodstained knife on the dirty one and put it to his neck. Halting all movement in the pub. He spoke softly, a calm voice that did not belong to a Gryphon raised in Gryphonia, the Gryphon Isles, or anywhere else. And it was too smooth to be a male Equiss accent (seriously what is with all the males' voices? A bad case of a sore throat?). "Honestly, keep still. Your worth more alive, but I Will deliver you dead, kapish pussycat?"
The dirty Gryphoness, now identified as a female (which would have been more obvious without all the grime) growled at the Bounty Hunter. Blue just smirked and looked up and saw her looking. Tilted his head and spoke, "Hey Firebrand, mind lending me a claw?"
Sunset jumped and looked around, looking for the person he was talking talking to. "Hey Firebrand, I was talking to you, little miss unicorn. Could you conjure a rope or something to tie her up with?" Sunset jumped up and flashed her horn, red ropes bound the Gryphoness. Blue looked at her handiwork and whistled.
"Good work Firebrand, want to come down to the station and claim the bounty with me?" Sunset stepped back with a shocked look on her face, Gryphons were notoriously greedy and not likely to share a score with anyone. "Oh come on, I'll earn double for bringing her in alive and you'll get your share. I'm not one to break promises, plus you look a little light on Gryms and that tab wont pay itself.
The bartender growled and pumped his shotgun, as if making Blue's point. She gave a nervous smile at the bartender and walked back towards the door, and towards Blue. They walked out of the pub, with 'their' score slung across Blue's back. They were walking towards the militia's post, where they would collect her bounty, pay off her tab, and then... and then she would have no idea where to go. Canterlot and the whole of Equestria wasn't an option, and neither was staying here. She couldn't just sit in one place, she was like a wildfire, always moving, always needing more fuel, always changing. Maybe that was why she didn't really like Equestria, too stagnant, no adventure, no chance to grow or learn. But now? She was working with a bounty hunter, on the frontier of Gryphonia. How many could say the same thing?
Far away from Equestrian borders, in the highlands of Gryphon territory. A lone campfire burns amidst a small camp. Inside Gryphons were partying, they had just raided a large Equestrian shipment full of Alcohol, food, and medicinal goods. The shipment had been heading to one of the more neglected parts of Gryphonia, where disease and hunger ran rampant. Equestria had sent a relief shipment out packed with medicine, alcohol, and food. Only for a tribe of Gryphon raiders to hijack the caravan and take the ponies hostage.
They were the Jackals, greedy, hungry, powerful… and stupid. Sunset put down her binoculars when she caught sight of a Gryphon having his way with a mare hostage. She turned and nudged me, “Were going to kill them, right?” I could see the disgust in her eyes. Not at the thought of killing, but at the thought of leaving them alive.
She had come a long way, from a scared pony who would hesitate to kill a spider to a full fledged Ranger. While not as good as a vet, or even close to me, she would definitely have given the Patrol Rangers back in Vegas a run for their money. I hefted up my Brush Gun, modified with a silencer, to my shoulder and gestured Sunset to do the same. She picked up her silenced Anti-Material Rifle in her magic and aimed for one of the Raiders outside the camp.
I lined up a shot with a Raider in a makeshift guardpost and fired. Two Raiders fell and no one knew. We picked off the other wanderers, and then walked down the hill. Sunset slung her Rifle across her back and drew her Submachine gun, a Broadsword strapped to her barrel alongside a bandoleer of grenades. She was wearing combat armor under a black trenchcoat, with some parts of the armor going over the trench, in a fashion resembling my own armor. But instead of a helmet she wore a bandanna at her neck, covering a nasty scar from when she was hung, and a cowboy hat.
I dropped my Brush Gun back into my Pip-Boy, and drew my Sequoia. Sunset hid behind a barrel and aimed and a group of drunken Gryphons. She opened fire, the burst of automatic fire causing the Gryphons to duck into cover and grab weapons. Gryphons started yelling and ponies were crying. I took to the air on my Wings and shot down a couple of Gryphons who thought to fly away.
I drew my katana and folded my wings. Causing me to fall blade first on a Raider. Blood splattered my trench coat and armor. I swung the blade again, slitting the throat of a Raider who tried to draw a pistol and shoot me. I shot two more Gryphons in the back as they tried to ambush Sunset. Who was pinning down a large group of Raiders behind a large shipping crate. She grabbed a grenade in her hoof as she used her magic to shoot her gun, and threw it behind the large crate. She mowed down the Gryphons that tried to flee the blast radius.
I jumped on another fleeing Gryphon and plunged my blade into her throat. Behind me, another pair of Gryphons walked out of a tent, but these two had machine guns and were dressed in thick metal armor. I ducked behind a metal crate as they opened fire on the two of us. I put away my katana and Sequoia, and then took out an EMP (Electric Magical Pulse grenade, handle with care and keep out of the reach of children. Unless they have demo expert perks, then let them go ham!) from my Pip-Boy and threw it at the couple. The magical lightning shorted out there brains as it ran threw their armor. Sunset quickly put two rounds into their metal clad skulls with her Anti-Material Rifle before they could get up.
After cleaning out the camp of loot and setting the hostages loose. We guarded their newly reassembled caravan to the town of Catsglade, where we gave the local hospital the medicine and leftover alcohol. Then went to work on handing out the food with the rest of the workers.
A short while later found Sunset and I laying under the shade of a tree on the edge of town. Comfortable on the green grass, I pulled out Benny’s former lighter and started flicking it open and back off. Sunset looked at me from under the shade of her Cowboy hat, “Not that I'm against it, but why did we help them? We weren't asked to, and there was no reward. I’m glad your the type of person to do that kind of stuff, but still, why?”
I stopped playing with my lighter, and looked at her, helmet off. “When I heard about that caravan going missing, I knew something happened, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I knew that I had to do something. Plus we had been cooped up too long in that other town, Feathercliff for too long.”
Sunset rolled her eyes at my answer, “We were there for four days!” She said exasperatedly,
I let out a muffled grown, “That's three days too long. I don't like staying in one place too long.”
“Unless it has a casino?”
“Unless it has casinos. Plural.”
We both laughed and got up a bit later, just as the sun was setting. Sunset was looked at the falling sun and glanced down, knowing what she was thinking about, I walked up to her and wrapped her in my wings. Ignoring her protests, I tripped her with my spotted tail, causing the two of us to fall and go rolling down the hill. When we hit the bottom Sunset tried to push me off. I didn't let her, “What's wrong Sunset?”
“Nothing Gavin, everything's alright.” I poked her with a wing,
“I don’t believe you Sunset, just tell me whats wrong.”
She sighed and sat up, ignoring my wing still on her back, “I was just wondering about Celestia, and if she’s worried about me. Or if she even misses me.”
“Why wouldn't she?”
“Because she has a new student, one she made into an Alicorn. I worked all my life trying to reach that level of power, yet it was never enough for her. Never good enough, I was never good enough.”
I slapped her with a wing, “Gavin! What the fuc…!” Then wrapped her up in both of them and puller her into a hug. She tucked her head into the crook of my neck and then I spoke, “Not good enough my ass, your a great pony Sunset.”
I felt a couple of tears hit my shoulder, “Even if you think your not good enough, you are. Your good enough for me, even better than I deserve with all the shit I’ve done in my life. And if that's not good enough, then Celestia can go sit on the sun and take it up her ass.”
We sat like that for a couple of hours until Sunset finally fell asleep. I got here out of her armor and put her into our sleeping bag, with her trench coat keeping the Highland winds off of her as she slept. Then I started to clean all our weapons and armor from the days work, clearing off the blood, gore, dirt, rocks, and grit. And when that was all said and done, I pulled my own trench coat on tighter and crawled in with Sunset. Don’t you fucking look at me like that! We didn't do anything, and we only carry one sleeping bag to make room for more food and supplies. I trusted my natural senses, and unnatural implants to warn me if we were being spied on or attacked.
I looked up at the starry night sky and smiled. Ever since Luna returned from the moon, the night skies had gotten so much more vibrant and alive. A falling star flew in from the side, leaving a trail through the sky. I focused on the meteor and whispered under my breath so that Sunset wouldn't wake up,
“Star light, Star bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight,
We’ll make a wish, and do as dreamers do,
And all our wishes,
Will come true,
Please, let Sunset find peace from her torment.”
I looked away from the star and back at Sunset, I held her closer and could have sworn I heard a voice say something, as if responding to my prayer,
Star light, Star bright,
The first wish I’ve heard tonight,
Wish you did, O’ wish you did,
You shall have your wish tonight,
You made your wish, as dreamers did,
And your wish,
Shall come true,
She shall find peace, by my honor as the Moon.
I closed my eyes and slept, unknowing of the powers at play tonight.
Catsglade was a very peaceful settlement, too peaceful. Especially for two Rangers. I quickly drew out my Sequoia out of it’s holster and aimed at the pony leaving the pub, only to see Sunset in the iron sights. I put down my gun focused on the pony as she approached my position across the dirt road. As she saw my Gryphon form, she slowly shook her head. Confirming that there was no work to be found in the town.
“We’ve only been here two days Gavin, things like this usually take time.” I knew Sunset was being honest, but the lack of work and/or travel was grinding my nerves, we were here for too long already.
I pulled out my map of the local area, there was a collapsed mine three hours walk from Catsglade. “There is a mine about three hours northeast of here. Abandoned for about three months due to a major collapse.”
“Sounds like a good place for a hideout, and even if there isn’t, there might be some good loot to be found.” Sunset looked over my shoulder and at the mine’s position. “Want to go?”
I looked around the dead end town, there was no work that didn’t involve menial labor for menial rewards. “Might as well, let's say our goodbyes to the caravan before we leave, I think Highest Bidder wanted to talk before we ditched town.”
Sunset and I walked down the main street of Catsglade, ignoring the looks of fear from our exposed weapons. It tended to happen less in major cities, but the occasional crossroad town usually didn’t give a shit about how many weapons you carried, they saw too many mercenary bands to be scared by lone armed griff or pony.
As we approached the ponies camp, we were approached by Highest Bidder, the leader of the caravan. His green coat and betting sign cutie mark, paired with his gold mane gave the appearance of wealth, but in reality most of his wealth went to caravans like this. Supplying aid to foreign lands in need. He smiled as he caught sight of our traveling gear strapped on. “Rangers Gavin, Sunset, I wasn’t expecting a visit, but it isn’t unwelcomed. What brings you to my side of the caravan trail?”
Under my helmet I smiled at the stallion, he was much too charitable for his own good. “We are leaving today, and so we came to say our goodbyes, in case we don’t see you again.”
Highest Bidder walked up to me and shook my talons with his hoof, then gave Sunset a kiss on her outstretched hoof. “In that case goodbye, know that I will be forever in your debt for saving my caravan. I also have a gift for you.”
Sunset’s ears pricked up at the word gift, “You don't have to give us something, we just saved you guys because it was the right thing to do.”
He smiled, “I know, I just wanted to give you these as a gift of thanks, not a reward or payment.” He then slid over a small crate full of cans, the labels were obviously Equestrian, only they had labels that colorful. The labels showed a colorful picture of…
“Peaches?” There were twenty cans of sliced Equestrian peaches in the crate. “You know how much these sell for here?” Sunset was right once again, those cans were easily worth over thirty grims each. When a single 45-70 gov was only worth five or so. And the average griff only made about fifteen grims a week.
“They came from my personal supplies, so I won’t be losing any caravan funding for that.”
“Still, even though they are cheaper in Equestria, you could have sold them for so much more here.” I picked up one of the cans as I spoke, it had been a long time since I had any Equestrian foods.
“I’m not a greedy stallion Gavin, I bought these in Equestria as a treat for my daughter when we got here, but she was the one who told me to give you them!” We thanked the overly kind stallion, and then we walked a short distance away, so that I could put it away in my Pip-Boy without being seen.
Sunset and I started talking as we made our was northeast, sharing our pleasure at being able to enjoy peaches after a long days work. Two hours into our journey, we came upon an interesting sight. A gryphon was digging out a small trench with nothing but an old hand shovel. He had a light machinegun resting next to him, and a peaked helmet was on his head. I signaled to Sunset and then snuck into a small thicket on the other side of the road. Looking through the sight of my brush gun, I saw Sunset approach the gryphon.
He had paused in his digging when he heard Sunset’s approach, and I gripped my rifle tighter as he drew an old looking Luger from his side. As he looked at Sunset he put the gun back in it’s holster. Angling my ears towards the pair I listened in on their conversation.
“Hello there sir. What might you be doing here sir?” Sunset looked at the trench and saw that it actually stretched about a quarter mile into the woods, and only now was he digging into the road.
The gryphon went back to his digging, but replied in an easy manner, but with a thick accent. “Digging. I'm still vaiting for mein squad, herr pony.”
Sunset looked at his uniform, outdated as it was, it was still clean and in shape. “Who do you fight for sir? I’m sorry to say that I’ve never seen a uniform like yours.”
“Mein army is far, and vhen it arrives, mein Fuhrer shall crush zee craftsmen and farmers beneath his boot. Vee are zee Nazi party.” He answered without hesitation, and without stopping his digging. “I remember mein Fuhrer telling us zat vee must dig his trench of var. Zen a flash of light, and zen just forest! I vas alone, so I dug, and dug. And I shall dig until mein Fuhrer says or mein var is von. So herr pony, have you seen a hammer crossed with a sickle around here?”
“Umm…” Sunset looked at me, remembering the old pre-war books on history, I started to violently shake my head, “No, I haven't. But I will tell you if I do, enjoy your… digging.”
The german soldier kept digging his trench and just nodded. Sunset walk back to me, shaking a little from her first wild(not-so wasteland) encounter. I got up and put away my rifle, my turn. I started to walk towards the german, ready to face either a vemnant fascist, or an open minded grunt.
“Are you an Aryan?” The question must have shocked the german, as he stuck his hand shovel into the trench wall and left it there. He turned and faced me.
“Are you an American?” I took off my helmet and nodded as he did the same. According to the old books, Germans, Soviet Russians, and the ‘Allies’ (which the former United States were apart of) fought in the second world war. I had to approach this carefully.
I decided to test the waters before diving in, “How fared the war before the ‘flash’?”
“It vas 1943, vee had just lost Stalingrad to zee Communists. Americans had only been involved for a few years, and vee vere being pushed back.” He looked at my side and saw the katana, “You carry zee veapon of zee japs. Why?”
“Think of it as vengance, for Pearl Harbor.” He nodded, then looked at my armor.
Then he looked down, as if he were pondering a deep thought (very not fourth wall breaking, I know) “For how long have vee been defeated?”
“Over three hundred years.” I saw the german grip his Luger,
“Ven I am... vhat is it called, out of time, yes?” He relaxed his grip and instead pulled his shovel out of the ground, then strapped it to his pack. Then slinged it onto his back. “Vhat am I? And you?”
“We are gryphons, a hybrid of cat and bird in this new world. We are the most common species in this part of the world.” I looked at his eagle styled head and lion tail. “You are of the two most noble species, eagle and lion. Be proud Aryan, you are of noble blood in this world.”
He smiled and looked at himself, “Mein name is Arend, Arend Ludwig. Vhat is your name, and the name of your companion?”
“My name is James Gavin, and my friend back there is Sunset Shimmer. I was a Ranger back home, but I woke up one day in this world as a Gryphon. After that I started working as a Bounty Hunter and general wanderer, then I met Sunset drinking herself away in a bar. I talked her into joining me on my travels and we started working together.”
Arend felt like a good, if lost, man… griff. A feeling I only got around certain people. Boon, Arcade, Veronica, Cass, ED-E, Chief Hanlon, most of them ended up traveling with me or ended up helping me in some way. And even though I had never fought at his side, Hanlon had given me his Ranger Sequoia after the Second Battle at Hoover Dam. A scope had turned the reliable sidearm into a deadly ranged weapon.
Arend picked up his machinegun and strapped it against his pack. I guess that one con of being quadrupedal was that you couldn’t carry weapons at the ready in your forelimbs. But the added wings easily made up for that. “Mein old life is gone now herr Gavin, and by your record, so is mein Fuhrer. Zee var vas lost, and mein life serves no purpose digging in a foreign nation. Vhere you shall go, so shall I.”
I was used to this happening, say the right thing, kill the right person, press a little too hard, and now you’ve got a company of warriors, soldiers, scientists, animals, robots, mutants, and drunkards following you. But I’ve never led a german before, “Why follow me? Why not go your own way and find a new life?”
Arend shifted his bandoleer of bullets and jumped out of the trench. “Something in mein soul says to follow you, vther you except me or not. Ve all have a part to play, and I feel zat mein own part shall be in your company.”
Walking back to Sunset with our new companion, she looked at Arend, and then back at me. “Picking up another stray?”
I smiled, remembering the memories I’ve built with my other strays. “Aye, he’s not the first, far from it. And I somehow doubt he shall be the last.”
I looked at Arend and noticed the large pack he was carrying. “Arend, I have a device that will allow me to carry a lot of items many times my weight without being laden down with them. If you want I can carry what you don’t need from that pack.”
Arend looked up at his near bursting pack. He dropped it and started to take everything out. He packed away his food, toiletries, ammo, and some personal items back into the pack, but gestured at everything else. The remaining pile was swiftly dematerialized into my Pip-Boy, and was sorted into a section labeled “Arend’s Stuff”.
Sunset saw Arend's slightly stunned look and was reminded of her own first time seeing Gavin’s gear in action. “Just think of what you need and it should appear, think of it going back to, well… put it back. Just remember, don’t try to overload it, there is a limit to how much it can hold. And it stops working if you surpass a hundred feet away, just in case you try leaving with your own, mini-storage.”
Arend nodded at the instructions Sunset gave. Now it was time to give my own, “You can only materialize your own stuff, or stuff your given. Same with Sunset and myself, we can retrieve our own stuff but not each others. And the limit is by weight, not number, so ammo shouldn’t be a worry at all.” “Unless you plan to carry a nuke.” “And like Sunset said, nukes are ill advised and way too heavy. Oh, and speaking of ammo, put your ammo in the storage and call a new magazine of ammo belt when your empty. It makes it much easier to manage without fiddling with refilling magazines.”
After some more discussion and planning we set off back down the road. We were still heading to the mine. Now we just had an extra gun. Arend had started experimenting with the ammo feature, materializing full belts of machinegun ammo before putting them back. I checked his max storage and nearly had a heart attack seeing the amount he could carry. It was nearly the same amount as Lily’s storage, but she was a super mutant and night kin! Thinking over it, it made a little bit of sense. He was a machine gunner with no assistant to carry his ammo, and he had been digging a quarter mile’s worth of trench by himself. Back in the waste, I was about 6’2. But he, judging by his frame here, he must have been 6’5 and wide at the shoulders. Probably a major athlete or career soldier before joining the army.
Halfway through the trip I stopped the squad and pulled something out of my storage. I had picked it up in the Vale but never used it. I turned and through the gun to the only other griff in our party. He caught the submachine gun in his claws before inspecting the model. “A Stein?”
“Close, the Gryphons down in the Vale call it a Gruunerstein. But it looks like a Stein, and should feel like it too. I already put the ammo in your storage, along with some… surprises I think your enemies will appreciate.”
With a grin on my face I saw him pull out a magazine for the Grunnerstein, and slid it in. But then he pulled out the surprises, a bandoleer of long handled grenades, marked with English letters. “Ps for Phosphorous, Em for electricity, Np for napalm, and Sh for shrapnel. Easy enough to use, unscrew the bottom and throw, all of them are designed to stick to their targets.”
“Vese grenades are like zee ones from mein home. I vould love to feel zee rush from blowing up a soviet tank again.”
I looked ahead, towards where our target was supposed to be. As we climbed the next hill, I spotted a partially concealed mine door against the side of the next hill. “Well, herr Ludwig. You might get the chance to use those soon enough.”
I couldn’t help but try and fit in a Dig Korps of Equestria joke here, sorry if it wasn’t obvious. Or if it was too obvious. And I am sorry for my butchered German. I have little experience with the language, so I went for comedic instead of realistic.
“Nein.” the German crossed his arms, and turned his beak away from the offering.
“Try it, please?” I held up my masterpiece, begging for the stubborn bird to try my cooking.
“Vhat is it?” The German sniffed the air, smelling the aroma of real food.
“It’s a BLT, a burger made with real lettuce, real tomatoes, and bacon.”
Sunset, having enough of their nonsense, picked up the burger in her magic and shoved it into Arend’s beak. His eyes widened, and he quickly finished off the burger with all the ferocity of a German Tiger tank.
I rolled his eyes and started eating my own burger. “Told you it was good.”
“Have to admit Gavin,” Sunset stated as she finished off her tomato, lettuce, and fish salad, “Those look good, too bad they don’t come meat free.”
Arend looked up from his meal, “Herr Sunset, vhat I don’t get, is vhy do you eat fish, but not meat?”
Sunset just shrugged and took another drink from her new canteen. “It’s just how I was raised, most animals are sentient so ponies try not to eat them. Fish aren’t, so most ponies are alright with eating them.”
As we all finished eating, I readied my weapons. We had camped out half a mile away from the mine, and it was time to strike. I made sure my guns, my katana, and my various knives were all ready.
Sunset prepared her Anti-Material Rifle, her Thompson submachine-gun, her broadsword, and her grenades. While Arend readied his large Machine Gun, his Grunnerstein, his Luger, as well as his new long handled grenades.
Stomping out the fire, I gave the sign to move out.
We walked the half-mile to the mine entrance, careful not to make too much sound. But the low cresting hills and sprawling forests of the Gryphon highlands gave plenty of cover. Reaching the mine turned jackal gang hideout, Sunset crested the hill and pulled out her Anti-Material Rifle. Attaching the suppressor, and layering it with a Silencing Spell. Sunset put a bullet in the head of the jackal guard outside the mine.
We walked down the hill to the door, Sunset and Arend stacked up on the left side of the door while I took the right. I pulled out my shotgun while Arend and Sunset readied their submachine guns, long range weapons would do less good in the mine. Arend tested the door handle before turning it and opening the door slightly.
Inside we could hear the voices of multiple jackals, discussing the last shipment they had robbed, or the booze they had gotten drunk on. Arend closed the door before readying himself to kick it down. I held up three talons, then dropped one, then the next. I then closed my fist, Arend kicked down the door and backed up a little.
I entered first, shooting a jackal to the front of me with my 12 gauge. Sunset entered next, pumping lead into the two playing pool on the left. I continued to shoot jackals as I advanced to the right, none of the jackals had time to grab their nearby weapons, so they tried to run. Tried.
Arend entered last, putting down a jackal that had just entered via the opposite door. By the time the last of the jackals fell blood had stained the hardwood floors of the nice looking break room.
We walked past the dead bodies and went into the tunnel, encountering light resistance. Mostly from small arms fire, like 9mm pistols and the occasional automatic rifle. But the amount of jackals we encountered was decreasing slowly. As we reached the end of the tunnel, we found a wooden door set into sturdy looking wooden walls.
We stacked up again on the door, Arend kicked in the door, but when I entered, I noticed that there were no jackals here, nobody at all. The room was empty of people but looked well lived in, there was a big bed and a full bookshelf. There was also a cabinet standing against the wall, a small kitchen was tucked in the corner, and a container sat at the foot of the bed.
We spread out, looking for any sign of jackals. Arend gave a cursory glance around the room before heading into the kitchen area. Sunset started picking through the bookshelf and put some of the titles into her storage. I heard the steady munching of crackers from the kitchen area.
Walking over to the bed, I opened up the container. Inside I found a sack holding nearly a thousand gryphs, two gold bars, a pouch holding a handful of sapphires, five hundred equestrian bits, and a pack of short/thin condoms.
“Umm… Sunset, Arend, get over here. Now.” I heard the sound of a book being closed, and I stopped hearing the munching of food. Soon, the heads of my two companions joined mine in staring at our loot.
“Mein Gott.” . . . “Holy bucking Celestia.” . . . “I could buy a new trench coat…”
Sunset smacked me over my deserving head without even looking away from the loot. “Gavin, you could buy an army’s worth of trench coats and then some.”
Ignoring the pack of useless (for any of us) tiny condoms, I started putting the money into the shared storage we used for food and money. Arend walked back to the kitchen and started filling the Pip-boy with food. While Sunset, who had already taken all the books she wanted, moved over to the cabinet.
I was about to close the lid of the container when Sunset called out, “Hey Gavin, you might want to see this.”
Walking to where Sunset was, I noticed that the cabinet was empty. “See what? The cabinet’s empty.”
“Look here, scratch marks on the floor, like somepony moved it again and again. Get on the other side and help me get it out of the way, it’s been enchanted to be heavier for some reason.” Sunset lit up her horn and picked up the cabinet, sweating at the effort. I stood up and pushed the cabinet, it must have been enchanted because there is no way an empty cabinet should weigh this much.
“Fuck, what is this thing made of? Lead?!” But heaving one last time pushed the cabinet out of the way, revealing an opening in the wall.
I turned to face the opening, but as soon as I did. I was greeted by a pair of steel-clad hooves flying into my face.
Sunset saw Gavin’s body fly without the use of his wings, and then hit the wall on the opposite side of the room. Gavin’s body crumpled like a puppet with its strings cut.
“GAVIN!” Sunset turned to face the pony that did the deed. He was a large Earth Pony stallion, clad in full heavy metal armor. Not the elegant gold of the Royal Guards, not even a knights suit from the legends, it was crude and bulky. Like a novice blacksmith had beaten it from slag and iron with a sledgehammer. It revealed nothing except the stallion’s face, with faded yellow fur and wide, dilated eyes the color of toxic waste. He looked sick, but judging by the strength in his kick, he was healthy enough to fight.
Sunset drew her broadsword and her submachine gun with her magic. Hoping to end the fight quickly, she swung the sword at the other ponies neck. But the sick pony just laughed as it bounced off of his neck armor. He turned and lunged at Sunset, just dodging a hail of bullets from Arend’s Grunnerstein.
He closed in on Sunset and tackled her to the floor. He raised a hoof to punch her in the face, still laughing like a lunatic. But before it could make contact with Sunset’s face, the razor sharp edge of Arend’s shovel dug into his face, knocking him off of the unicorn.
Sunset jumped up and ran to Gavin’s side, she leaned in and heard his steady breathing. Sighing in relief, she turned to Arend, “He’s fine, just unconscious.”
Arend, now facing her nodded. He started walking towards his two companions, but stopped as something tapped him on the shoulder, “Was zur Holle?”
Arend turned around and was met with a buck to the face, much like his fellow Gryphon. He was also launched into the air and into the wall, landing right next to Gavin.
Sunset felt her eye twitch, and as she watched the laughing stallion, something in her snapped. “Buck you Gavin for getting knocked out, buck you Arend for not killing the bastard, and YOU, ESPECIALLY YOU, BUCK… YOU!”
With her magic, she picked up Arend’s machinegun, his Grunnerstein, Gavin’s shotgun, his All-American, her Anti-Material Rifle, and her Thompson submachine gun, and then she turned all barrels towards the stallion. But even as she pointed six different deadly firearms at him, he kept laughing, and kept walking towards her.
She closed her eyes, and pulled the trigger of every weapon in her magical grip. .
.
.
When she opened her eyes again, the laughing stallion was laughing no more. The front of his armor had been completely obliterated, as well as the first twelve inches of his chest.
She closed her eyes one more time, and slumped over. Asleep atop her only companions in the world.
.
.
.
“Soooo… I voted that we never speak of this day again.”
“I vill second zhat motion.”
“You… bucking idiots.”
After the three of us had woken up and checked for concussions, of which we had none, we finished looting the place. In the end, we walked out of that mine with over two thousand gryphs, two gold bars, five sapphires, five hundred equestrian bits, and twenty-five assorted pistols and rifles looted from the container and the pockets of various dead jackals.
We started walking side by side away from the mine, ignoring the roads and paths completely. Eventually I turned to Sunset and asked what I’m pretty sure we were all thinking at this point, “Soooo… Sunset, where are we going?”
She stopped walking and gaped at me, “Me?! I was following you!”
“No I was following you!” I shot back,
We both turned to Arend, and asked at the same time “...Arend?”
“Vhat…?”
.
.
.
After some map delegation and lack of anything else to do. We decided to head west, to try our luck on the Equestrian/Gryphonia border. After all, what could go wrong?
“I hear Griffonstone is nice this time of year.” I could feel Sunset’s silent disapproval pierce my back, “Right, right, Griffonstone is a shithole.”
“Grrrr, why do we have to go west? Why can’t we try down south or back east?”
“It’s because I’ve heard some whispers of a job Sunset.”
She crooked her head, “What kind of job?”
I grinned, “A big one, a bank heist down in Eaglecrest. If we join up, and we can actually pull it off, we’ll need a place to lie low.”
Arend just nodded his head, but Sunset was livid, “So now you want us to be criminals?! Were bounty hunters, not thieves!”
“Relax Sunset, it’s not that kind of bank.” Sunset sat down, more than a bit confused. “The bank we’re going to help rob is a front. It's the cover of a huge smuggling ring, ponies, illegal drugs, cursed items, stolen art, experimental weapons, you name it, they probably have had it smuggled it to Saddle Arabia a dozen times.”
Sunset narrowed her eyes and glared at me. “Where did you get this information?
[flashback]
Sunset was sleeping in the inn room we had rented, while Arend was still probably digging his trench. I on the other hand had tried to get back in touch with my more, clandestine skills. Namely stealth, pickpocketing, and lockpicking.
It was back in Catsglade, I had seen a big house, probably owned by the town's mayor. So I had snuck in, looking for an easy cash grab. Instead however, I had stalked my way up the stairs of the nearly empty house, avoiding gryphonesses in prench maid outfits. But instead of feather dusters, they were holding assault rifles with the expertise of seasoned veterans.
But one thing about these maids, when they think no one is watching, they like to flag their tails. Seeing their hidden treasure nestled between finely toned backsides alone made the trip worth it. And seeing what some of them had fitting in them as they patrolled gave me a new respect for these gryphonesses. Being able to walk with a dildo the size of a baton while showing no discomfort or limp was impressive.
Still dodging heavily armed maids, I made my way to the master study, where I was sure I would be able to find information on a good job. And as I entered the room, I started shuffling through letters and opening drawers.
Eventually I found something not related to city taxes or monetary inconveniences. It was a letter addressed to the Mayor, Inkfeather, about a bank in Eaglecrest. Finding it odd that a Mayor would be concerned over a bank on the border when Catsglade had one of its own. I kept digging trying to find out more, and eventually I did. A newspaper clipping was attached to another letter, looking at the clipping, it was a report about a jewel encrusted heron statue that had been stolen from a temple in Lithohoofia. Looking around, I saw that same golden heron statue, but devoid of any jewels sitting on the Mayor’s shelf.
The letter itself was a note of thanks for the donation of over thirty thousand gryphs to the same bank in Eaglecrest. With a courier's paperwork written on the back for a delivery of a golden heron to Inkfeather from the bank in Eaglecrest.
Pocketing the letters, I seized the opportunity to grab some extra cash, something easily missed, unlike the heron. So I stealthily headed to the Master Bedroom, I silently entered, and looked around for jewelry or other loose items. Spotting an ornate box on the wife's side, I walked over to it and opened it up. Inside were hundreds of gem clad necklaces, rings, earrings, and bracelets. I scooped up a handful of jewelry, easily missable from the veritable horde in the box, and I doubt it was her only one.
Putting it into my Pip-boy, I made to leave the room, when I heard the unmistakable sound of two gryphons charging up the stairs.
I slid under the bed and prayed that they would not enter, but that was my luck. In cards, dice, and even roulette, my luck was king. In times of danger or fear, my luck was a bitch. The two gryphons, the mayor and a mistress most likely. Jumped onto the bed and copulated for the next hour. And then again, and again.
By the time they were asleep and I had the chance to slip out the door, I was resisting the urge to corner one of the maids and have my way with her, their flagged tails and obvious belly bulges from the oversized dildos, once alluring, were now impossible to drag my eyes away from. I decided ‘to hell with this!’ and threw myself off the balcony, letting the rush of flight and the cold air wash away the scent of lust and temptation.
Hey bronies and pegasisters, sorry it’s been a while. But I have a good excuse… umm lets see excuses page 2 option 36… HOMEWORK yeah I had lots of homework, *crickets chirp in the distance* wait how long has it been? 12 MONTHS?! Sheesh time flies. No way I had that much homework so I guess I have to tell you the truth… lets see page 5 of better excuses option 13… depression! Wait no, thats fucked up… lets go with option 27 bored/tired, that can work. To be honest, I’ve been burnt out by writing (not by mlp) and have been taking some time off to work on other projects like school and bettering myself. With the opportunity covidland has provided I’ve been able to work more and start feeling better about myself, and now I also have more time to connect with my family (to varying degrees of success). So I hope this chapter will start getting those writer’s blocks broken down to some degree enough for me to enjoy writing again. With no hope of success and fear for my future, this is Sunsong (formerly Azure Nights, formerly Wolfgarm,) signing off.
“500.”
“600.”
“550.”
“Come on! These are quality jewels!” I slammed my fist into the jewelers counter.
The Mule looked at my heavily armored, gun toting form. “They might be stolen…”
“...550.”
“Deal, try not to spend all your gryms in one place now, but if you do, my brother owns the gun store next door.”
“Thanks!... jackass.” I left the Mule & Co. Fine Jewelry store and walked next door to Mule & Co. Fine Guns store. “I knew it… I’m surrounded by jackasses!” I normally had nothing against the creatures, but these fine gents were all covetous, narcissistic, sarcastic, ASSHOLES!
I just about kicked down the gun shop’s door and entered. Arend was sitting on a stack of mortar shells, flipping through a magazine on prench cuisine. And Sunset was haggling down the price of a box of mangoes (surprisingly not the weirdest thing I’ve seen in a gunshop). I took a seat next to Arend and took an inventory of our supplies, it had taken a while to find someone who would purchase sapphires, jewelry, and unmarked equestrian bits, but there was always someone who could fence stuff for you in a gryphonian town.
Putting my Pip-boy down, I looked around the shop, one corner had barrels filled to the brim with battle axes and boomerangs, while the wall was loaded with guns, spray paint (note to self, stock up on tagging materials), and instant noodles. There was also a poster behind the counter, it had some kind of weird creature with black chitin and blue eyes, “CHANGELINGSthe Hidden Enemy! Is your neighbor truly who you think they are?” Paranoid much?
We bought some more ammo, grabbed some more grenades, and got Sunset her mangoes. On the way out, I perused the gun selection. There was nothing special, a few 9mm, some 12 gauges, and even an assault rifle or two, but nothing even close to the Gun Runner’s quality selection. We left the Gun shop and walked down the street. I turned to Sunset, “Any jobs in the area? We’re still a ways out of Eaglecrest and extra funding can never hurt.”
“Nadda Gav’, there's a whole lot of nothing happening here but not much else, though I did hear about some business colts coming in from Equestria, I think their names are… Jim and Slim? Fat and Flat? No…” Sunset shrugged her shoulders, “Shouldn’t be much of an issue though, with our luck, a job will come flying out of nowhere and land right in our laps.”
As we were walking down the street, the window to the saloon shattered under the force of two stallions being thrown out of them, landing a couple of feet away from us. They both stood up and started to brush the dust off of each other. They both had the same peach fur and red/white manes, but one had a mustache. Probably twins.
“Well Flim, turns out she DIDN’T have acute ‘gullibilis idiotis’, in fact she still has ‘allher moneycidas’!”
“Well Flam, our hides are still ‘intacticus’ so let's get out of town before they figure out that our ‘Bit Cards’ are just pieces of painted paper.”
Sunset grinned and turned to us, “Well, not exactly in our laps, but close enough! I smell an opportunity.” I shrugged and shared a look with Arend, if Sunset wanted to get involved with a couple of con colts, then who were we to say no.
Arend opened one of the pockets of his trench coat, “Geld leihen bastarde… walk with care, zey can smell money a mile away.” Arend reached into his stash of goodies and pulled out some glazed sugar plums while I fiddled with a Sunset Sarsaparilla watching as Sunset talked to the two con artists. They started chatting back and forth, with the twins switching who was talking every time the conversation got back to them. I was going pretty well considering, well… us. No one was drawing weapons on each other, no one was asking for my manager (I’m not a fucking retail worker, I’m a self employed/contracted Mercenary with a big ass shotgun on my back, followed by an ornary Unicorn with Mommy issues, and a displaced soldier from the third Reich who likes to bake… what the fuck is wrong with my life?), and thankfully no one was drunk.
But it all went downhill from there, wellllll… not the conversation, that was splendid, who would have guessed that these fine colts enjoyed Shake Spear’s works? It was the cabbages… and the alfalfa… aaaand the broccoli… plus some watermelons. The fruits and veggies came barreling out of nowhere, we were being pummeled my pickles, smacked by squash, thwarted by tomatoes, assaulted by apples, and badgered by bananas! Arend and I dove under the nearby alcohol stand (this town is starting to grow on me) after snatching some of the product, the street was quickly turned into a warzone. “Herr Gavin! Verr is ze artillery coming from! Zis is not ze Western Front!”
After the downpour of healthy (hah!) food ended, we crawled out and looked for our missing comrade, after a bit of garden management, we parted the fruit sea and found a pony butt sticking out of a pile of vegetables, Suns prominently featured on the flanks. I grabbed her by the hips and tugged. She popped out without too much trouble, a scowl decorating her face.
“You good Sunbutt?” SMACK! “...I deserve that.” Carefully taking my talons off of her hips I pulled a handkerchief out from my pip-boy, and wiped some fruit stains off of her face.
She huffed a bit and looked at the carnage around us, “Where in Equiss did all of this come from? I could swear the Equestrian Postal Service doesn't deliver way out here.”
I pointed up the hill, where a couple of heavily laden wood carts had apparently crashed into each other and the resulting disaster caused the ‘fruits of their labor’ (heh) to fall on us. “Accident I guess, there are better ways to kill someone, and by falling food isn’t one of them.”
“Hey! Where are Flim and Flam?”
“Vhat?” “Who?”
“The two stallions I was talking to!”
“I thought their names were Fat and Flat?”
“Nein, you said zey were named Jim and Slim.”
“No! I, they! Ughhhh! They called themselves Flim and Flam!” She stomped her hoof into the ground and kicked a melon, “We were just discussing our payment for the job.”
“Job?” “Ve got a job?”
“Yeah, if you’ll let me finish…” She flicked her mane out of her face and stated to kick the ruined food off of her hoof boots. “They saw that we were Mercs,” “Soldiers of Fortune and Glory!” “I’ll drink to zhat… Sturmtroopen soldiers got paid vith ammo and new helmets, not even zeh good ones either...”
“...Fine, Soldiers of Fortune and Ass-kicking, so they wanted us to guard their caravan on the way to the next few towns, and luckily they're also heading to Eaglecrest, since they want to get a boat back to Equestria.” She started to look around, probably for the aforementioned stallions, “So we started talking prices and danger fees… then the Fruitagedon happened and I can’t find them anymore.”
As we waded through the healthy debree, Arend pulled a half squashed tomato out of a random pile. “Zhat is still better zan Sturmtruppen rations. Not halfway rotten, perfect for soup of war.” Arend’s tales from the front were half battle stories and half food stories… I don’t know which are more terrifying. After a while we finally got out, the streets crowding up with various creatures, loading up on the free food.
“Well, no reason to stay in town anymore. We can clean our clothes by the river and see if we can find Flim and Flam’s caravan out of town. What do you say Gav?”
“We got what we need and have no reason to stay, so let's split.”
I might have another reason to jump town too, it may have a little to do with the broken lockpick in the Jeweler’s empty safe… or it may not, you may never know.
Us three amigos walked down the road, “Another week on the road and we’ll reach Eaglecrest. And if we can get that job with Flim and Flam, we won’t even have to worry about getting lost!”
“Sunset… you know I care about you, but if you challenge the powers of the Wild Wasteland again, I will personally clobber you with a rolling pin.”
“Vhy do I veel like their is a story there?”
“Three old ladies in pink dresses confronted me after leaving a shop that used to sell personal Robot servants, then they tried to kill me with rolling pins and bags of flour.”
“...Herr Sunset, please do not disturb zhe powers known as zhe Vild Vasteland.”
After a quick lunch we headed back to town to look for the twins, Fat and Flat. As we got closer we noticed a brown carriage with a red and white striped roof. With no other leads we headed to the carriage and knocked on the door. When it opened Flat and Fat walked out, perfectly clean and free of stains. “Ah! The Mercs we wanted to hire!”
‘Wanted?’ Sunset put on a thin smile and walked up to the two, “I believe that we were ready to start discussing prices before the Fruitamagedon correct?”
“Well… about that.” Twitch, “You seeeeee, after the fruit cocktail went glass up we found a pair of mighty fine gentlecol… gentlebulls who would do the same job,” Twitch “...for half the price.” Twitch.
Arend and I exchanged looks before backing up, Flea and Tick’s life spans were about to be cut in half by the fury of a mare scorned. “And where are these, fine gentlebulls, hmm?” she seethed through clenched teeth.
“Ah, they should be here any second… and here they are now! Big Will! Small Will! Over here!” Flee shook his hoof in the sky, drawing the attention of two minotaurs. They were… well, they say it all in the name isn’t it? One was pretty tall and broad shouldered with the smallest set of horns I’d ever seen, while the other was only about four feet tall, but his horns gave him an extra foot or so.
“SO! Your the bulls who stol- ahem, got the job we were looking into right?”
The big bull looked at the small one, and the small one opened its mouth and in the deepest (flutterguy deep) voice I’d ever heard said, “Prett’y much, gatta problem girlie?” As the bull’s turned to speak to the duo. Sunset’s eye twitched, her tail flicked, and then she looked straight at me. Shit.
She swaggered up to me and put her hooves on my shoulders, leaned in close and said, “Beat these motherbuckers to hell and high water for me? Please?”
“Only for you Sunset, only for you.” I pulled out a weapon I hadn’t used in a while, Ulysses’ staff, Old Glory.
With the staff in my talons, I walked up to where the two minotaurs were talking to Flint and Flock. Going up to the short one, I tapped his shoulder. “Whada you wan-” When he turned around I brought the head of my staff up right in between his legs, crunch. He howled and sunk to his knees. I hooked the back of his hooves with the Eagle on the staff and pulled, yanking out his legs out from under him. Then spun the staff in a crescent and drove one of Old Glory’s wings into the bulls nose, breaking his nose on impact. One down.
The tall bull recovered from it’s shock, staring at the unconscious body of his ally and in a high squeaky shouted “BIG WILL!”.
“WAIT! THAT’S BIG WILL!?” Everyone collectively shouted,
I swung Old Glory into the ground, digging up some dirt and loose rocks, and flung it into Small Will’s face. He screamed and started to claw at his eyes. I used my wings to fly behind him, hooked Old Glory around his ankles, and kicked him in the small of his back. He landed heavily, his head bouncing off of the ground.
I walked back to Sunset, pausing once to drive the bottom of Old Glory’s staff into Big Will’s skull, knocking him back into lala land. Dematerializing the staff once again I walked back to Sunset’s side and turned to look at the twins.
“W...w...well, I guess you’ll be taking the job?”
“Thank you gents, when are we leaving?”
“Well… ah, we leave in the morning.”
As we turned to find a place to make camp, I swear I heard one of the two whisper to the other, “Sweet Celestia, it’s Manehatten all over again.”
In the morning we set out with the peppermint brothers. They had hired two stallions to pull the carriage, we didn’t bother them and vise versa. As the only one who could fly with a mediocum of ability (Sunset’s a unicorn and Arend has never flown in his life, having spent all his time in his new body either digging a trench or working with us,) I was in charge of scouting out the road ahead of us. Sunset rode upfront with a rifle in her lap, and Arend guarded the back.
Nothing major popped up all day, so when night fell we felt pretty relaxed… which probably should have been our first warning.
I popped the cork from a bottle of Cat Eye, even though my gryphon night vision was much better than my old human one, and my Ranger helmet increased that advantage twofold, I felt better with the Cat Eye. Everything just became a little sharper, a little clearer, and maybe it was the only thing that saved my life that night.
As I finished putting the bottle away, and putting my helmet back on, I noticed a glint in the woods around us. Looking closer revealed something poking through the brush, it was hard to see but it looked almost like a… My eyes widened under my helmet as I dived to the side. *Bang!* The bullet clipped my shoulder pauldron and sent me sprawling behind the log I had been sitting on, ignoring the throbbing pain I shouted “AMBUSH!”.
I unslung my Airborne Rifle from over my shoulder and sprayed into the brush. Something screeched and an armored gryphon broke cover, charging me. I quickly drew my shotgun from my shoulder and racked a shell into the barrel. The 12 gauge plasma shot burst threw the gryphon’s head, throwing the cadaver’s trajectory off enough for me to jump out of the way.
Materializing a flare gun I shot it into the sky, revealing a dozen or so bandits hiding in the woods. Their metal armor glinting in the red flare’s light. Behind me I heard Sunset and Arend unloading ammo into the bandits, I joined them by unleashing a salvo of shotgun fire into the brush. The return fire came almost immediately but was largely inaccurate. Low caliber fire mixed with a slow rate of fire made for an ineffective assault that was largely the same across worlds apparently.
I dove behind the log I had been sitting on a moment before the firefight had started while loading some more shells into my shotgun, the gryphon bandits charged out from behind the trees, rushing us in an attempt to overwhelm us in a wall of lead and steel. Arend’s machine gun cut down five before they even left the tree line, while Sunset’s precise accuracy put them down one by one.
When Arend’s machine gun ran out of belt ammo to be fed into the war machine, he pulled a grenade off of his harness, gripping the long handle he uncapped the bottom and pulled. A few seconds later my helmet’s visor polarized while the bandits eye’s were blinded by the white phosphorus. Using the opening Arend provided us with, I counter charged the bandit vanguard, seven plasma shots met seven bandits, each one used to great effect. Instead of loading more shells, I let my shotgun hang by it’s strap while I drew Light in one hand and my blade in the other. The Armor Piercing 45. acp burrowed great holes in the heads of my more heavily armored foes, while the closer mooks were met with the edge of my katana, a few tried to match blades once their eyes recovered, but their disoriented wits meant that even if their swordsmanship was better than my own, I was still faster.
After a few more minutes of brutal gunplay and swordsmanship, the last of the bandits met their end. The gold, ammo, and weaponry that they carried now lined our pockets (aka interdimensional rift/pocket dimension/intergalactic warp tech that the RobCo, Pip-Boy used.) so their attack was not so pointless, for us at least. None of the cargo had sustained any damage, and the Flamboyant brothers snoozed like not even a thorough shelling by NCR forces could have woken them up.
We piled the bodies into the woods and cleaned the camp, shoveling fresh dirt over the blood stains. Arend looked right at home among the surplus of ‘new’ body armor and gun parts, cleaning off the blood and gore with a quick and ruthless efficiency that spoke of repetition and familiarity with the soul staining work.
In the morning we were ready to set off again, a few more bruises and bags under our eyes for our trouble. The Fluorescent duo looked no worse for wear on the other hand, their peppy song and dance routine doing nothing to lift out spirits. We set out for Eaglecrest, only half a day’s walk away… we’re getting close.
As we left the woods and stepped onto the flat plains of the peninsula, I had to admit… I’ve seen better. Eaglecrest is bigger than New Vegas (not the original Vegas though), but nowhere as nice as New Reno (one of the nicest places west of the Rockies outside of good ole’ California). Eaglecrest was tucked up against the water, with the nicest part of town closest to the docks, with the buildings getting worse and worse the further away you got. The slums that made up the city on the edge of town were in bad shape, but bad shape is still better than wasteland shape, each wooden ‘building’ still had four walls and a roof, doors still stood in their frames, and the alleys were full of drunkards not corpses.
Leaving behind the comic duo after collecting our pay we made our way into said slums, the cobblestone roads clacking under our boots. Arend wisely made the decision to jump over the stream of mystery substance that flowed into his path from a nearby alleyway.
Upon coming up on an intersection I noticed a couple of criers standing on the corners, each one trying to hawk their stores goods; the one on the left was a smiling pony in a cook's apron and oversized hat holding a sign that said “Roadkill Café; Free Eats; Donations Accepted;”... definitely staying away from that pony and any Roadkill Café.
The other crier was a Gryphon, and the closest thing I’ve seen to a Kings Member in this world, his leather jacket and slicked back head feathers gave me some warm nostalgia, and he was leaning on the wall of a bar if the Beer Glass sign was any clue, some good music was playing on the inside. He opened an eye and spotted us, giving a small grin he waved us over to him. “First time in Eaglecrest? You’ll want to head inside and talk to the barkeep, tell him that Bucky sent ya.”
Walking into the bar was like walking into another world, out of the dirty slums and into a well cared for and beloved bar. The wood was stained with beer and ale, while the seats were being held together with duct tape and elbow grease, but people were laughing and good times were being had.
As we took our seats on the bar, I took off my helmet and set it down on the bar. An old gryphon walked up to us from behind the bar, his leather jacket and cowboy hat barley drawing away the attention from the long silver scar over his left eye. “Howdy young’uns, I’m the keep of this ‘ere shithole. Names Tuk but most ‘ere call me Uncle, what can I get for ya?”
I smiled at the old timer, “I’ll take a whiskey Uncle, the older the better.”
Sunset looked away from the colt playing a tin whistle in the corner, “Umm… you got a martini back there Tuk?”
“Sure do young’un. And you lad?”
“Vhatever is on tap Onkel.”
Uncle smiled and walked away taking three glasses from beneath the bar, a shot glass, a cocktail glass, and a stein. He poured a 1/2 oz of some vermouth and 3 oz of gin into a mixer as well as something from a smaller bottle, shook it, and poured it into the glass, he then garnished the glass with a lemon twist. He then took the large pewter stein and filled it with a dark beer from one of the taps against the back wall. Then he filled the shot glass with a labelless bottle from his own jacket.
“ ‘ere you go young’uns, enjoy.”
Sunset took a small sip of her glass with a sigh on contentment, before smiling at the old gryphon, “Perfect, thanks Tuk.”
Arend nodded at Uncle and took a long drink, I picked up my glass before taking a small sip, yep, it was pretty old with a solid burn..
“Thanks Uncle... by the way Bucky at the door told us to talk to you,”
“Ah, my grandson. He watches the bar at night when this old coot needs ‘is nap. Good kid, if a bit of a light weight, but he’ll make a good ‘keep when I’m gone.” He smiled at the doorway where Bucky would be standing. “First time round these here parts, right?”
“Bullseye Uncle, we’ve been walking these roads for some time now but not round here. More out east near Catsglade and Feathercliff.”
“Right then, few things you ought to know bout Eaglecrest, the docks in the west are neutral ground for the gangs round ‘ere, no one messes with anyone else there and the trade continues to flow in. The Vanderhock Boys run things in the north while ol’ Ridgeclaw’s crew stay in the south part of town. The two casinos in the center part of town belong to the Blackfur and Goldpaw families, Goldpaw’s honest so long as you got the cash. And Blackfur will never go back on a deal, he’s from one of them tribes up north, they take their vows very seriously they do, even heard they have a death penalty for oath-breakers.” He set down the glass he was cleaning before leaning in close, “Now, if ya want ta get rid of somethin’ that ain’t yours head for the store with a Bronze Bit on the sign, then tell the colt ‘I’m in for a copper,’ he’ll take it from there.” What did I say? One in every Gryphonian town.
“Thanks Uncle, by the way, what can you tell me bout the bank here?”
Uncle lifted a brow, causing the scar across the eye to stretch painfully if the grimace was any clue. “The bank? You mean Green Circle… you’ll want tah stay as far away from them as ya can. Last griff to go asking more bout them then they were comfortable with was found ah couple of days ago missin his feathers an ‘alf his fur, ah circle branded onto his slit throat. Worse then all the gangs together them lot, but even the King is too scared to go against them.” Uncle sighs before taking a drink from a hip flask, “It’s an open secret to everyone in the city what they trade, from exotic treasures lifted from Equestrian Museums to the ponies that worked there. But ‘alf the politicians have worked with ‘em and the other ‘alf are too scared teh do anythin bout em.”
He took another long draft from his flask, a bit of the whiskey inside spilling out onto the wooden bar. “But that’s not what your asking are you? I knew your type when you walked in, I was like you once, but I got too old, my gun felt too heavy in mah talons and mah coat had too many holes… but I know who tah talk too. Come back tomorrow afternoon, and I’ll get the men yah need to talk to, Luna knows how many hoops I had tah jump through when I was your age, might as well spare you the pain at least once.”
We ordered some more drinks and spent some more time talking to Uncle about much less serious topics… like guns, drinks, and bullet proof coats. “Wait, wait, wait… Uncle, you used an M1 Gryphon chambered in .30-06? How the hell did you get such an old gun, and how the hell did you get the ammo?”
“Got the gun from mah Grandaddy, he fought in the Gryphillio Valley Revolution, and ah made the ammo mah self. Ain’t too hard, just .308 fired from ah .30 caliber. Like whiskey, the older the gun the better, infact look at this here beut,” Uncle reached under the bar and pulled out an old fashioned Trench Shotgun, “This here 12 gauge has settled more bar disputes than any talk,”
We started comparing our 12 gauges, his Trench Gun (Winchester 1897) and my Hunting Shotgun (Remington 800), our various ammo types (slug, buckshot, birdshot, dragon’s breath, plasma, pulse), and various situations it had saved our tails in… which was more than we would have liked.
After a few more drinks and stories we left Uncle’s Bar and headed for the inn to sleep the night away. In the morning we headed back to the bar and nursed our headaches with a round of drinks; a coffee, a shot of whiskey, another coffee, and then a light beer. The coffee was brewed so dark you could see the abyss within its depths. Bucky was sitting next to me, an IPPA (an Indo-Ponesia Pale Ale) in his talons. We started talking about the city, but more casual stuff then we had with Uncle, like where the best places to eat were (the Minotaurian BBQ on the corner of Market Street was supposedly the best MBBQ in the world).
As business started to pick up, Sunset, Arend, and I left the bar and started looking for the shop Uncle mentioned where we could fence our stuff (the contents of that Mule Jeweler's safe I totally don’t have are a little too hot to put on the open market). We wandered the streets for a few minutes before finding a little shop with a copper coin for a sign tucked up in between a tea shop and a shop with a quill and a sofa (a sign in the window advertised that it was their “First International Location!”).
Heading on in the place reminded me of Chet’s General Store back in Goodsprings, with a whole bunch of merchandise on shelves in the front (food, armor, some guns, and a whole bunch of miscellaneous gear,) and a counter in the back. But instead of a cap hungry trader we saw a unicorn colt sitting behind the counter, a newspaper in his hooves and a bored look on his face. He looked up from the paper when he saw us and greeted us with a small smile, “Looking to buy? Just got some new merchandise from Coltukett and Winferrey.”
I walked to the counter and took off my helmet, “Yeah kid, I’m in for a copper.”
He raised an eyebrow, “Wait here,” He jumped up from his seat and walked to a door in the back, he knocked three times before waiting… and waiting… and waiting. The colt gave a huff before he pounded the door three more times but much louder than before. After a second the door opened to the sound of rock music being blasted up to eleven, how a wooden door three inches thick insulated the sound that well I might never know. A large unicorn with soot stains on his copper fur walked out, a welding mask lowered over his face.
Seeing us he raised the mask and a cheerful smile crossed his face, “Customers! It’s been a while since Ol’ Tuk has sent anyone my way! Names Steady, feel free to look around if you want, most of the good stuff is kept in the back but you still might find something you want up front. If you want to offload anything head into the back and I’ll make you an offer.”
Sunset and Arend started to look through the store’s selection while I headed into the back, Steady had turned the music down and it looked like he had been working on a large steel frame of some sort before we came in. There was a large wall of gun racks on one side of the room while the adjacent wall was lined with armor racks. The last side had another counter, but this one was cluttered with metal scrap and spools of copper wire.
Steady scraped a bunch of the scrap from the counter into a bin and put it under the counter, before gesturing at the open space. I walked over and started unloading, the Jeweler's safe had contained the best cut gems in his store, as well as his cash and an old revolver. The gryms joined my own while the gems made their way to the counter alongside the gun.
After getting those appraised and paid for, I started pulling out the gear the bandits had so generously donated to our cause. Arend and Sunset had already taken what they wanted, the money, food, and ammo joined our growing stockpile, the body armor that could be used to repair our own also stayed. But the mass produced guns and cheap body armor got tossed onto the counter. Leaving us with a hefty profit, even with Steady’s fencing tax (which was surprisingly reasonable for someone in his trade).
Walking back to the store front, I found Arend and Sunset at the normal counter talking to the colt (probably Steady’s kid now that I think about it, same color coat), on the counter there was a pile of loot they had pulled out of the shelves. Some quality of life stuff more than necessary equipment, like paint, a guitar, some packs of gum, a salt rock enchanted to glow at night, and a painting of an ugly looking cat… why would we even… you know what, they put up with my bullshit so I can try and return the favor.
When we paid for the goods I dragged the two into the back room before they bought something even weirder. I convinced Sunset to look at the body armor, the boiled leather she was wearing was the best we could get for her without the weight becoming too overbearing. But after a couple of months of traveling together she was strong enough to wear proper combat armor. But unfortunately most of the armor we find is either worse leather armor than her own, or heavy plate mail left over from a bygone era (but unlike back home it works about as well as power armor at stopping bullets, either stronger steel or magic bs… I’m going with magic bs. But unlike power armor it held none of it’s own weight and couldn’t give a strength boost, so you had to be an active earth pony, well trained gryphon, average minotaur, or a fucking bear to wear it effectively).
So now was our best chance at finding her a proper set of combat armor, among the sets of pony armor we found some that would fit her and wouldn’t clash with her brown duster, bandana, boots, and cowboy hat. The first was most of a set of thin enchanted steel armor (like a royal guards armor but thinner and made for a mare, also not intended to just be for ceremonial use like modern day royal guard armor), it was the heaviest option (though not even a tenth as heavy as normal steel armor) but could turn away everything except armor piercing rounds, stuff as big or bigger than 50. Bmg, or plasma. It was either only intended to protect the main body, lacking a helmet, boots, grieves, and boots, or was just incomplete.
Pro’s: Good protection (except for the head, legs, and ass of course...)
Con’s: Conspicuous as hell, and expensive as all hell.
The next option was somewhat similar to an armored skin-tight jumpsuit (only going halfway down a pony's legs) styled outfit with some grey fitted armor plates, the plates themselves were pretty strong, but the jumpsuit itself was weak, built to disperse the kinetic energy from the impacts the plates took. The plates covered a pony’s shoulders, forelimbs, flanks, as well as a small chestpiece (once again no helmet, boots, or hoof guards, it seems like this is a recurring style with Equestrian style armor).
Con’s: Hard to repair, Armored areas are well armored but the others are basically defenseless
The last set was a more standard set of combat armor, kevlar uniform with an ablative-plate carrier, steel hoop guards, and built-in armored saddlebags.
Pro’s: Easily repairable/replaceable, Mid-weight,
Con’s: Armored areas are well armored but the others are just covered in kevlar, not the most comfortable.
After laying out the options Sunset tried on each set.
“How’d they feel Sunset?”
“I like them, but the steel’s a bit awkward to wear, and I can’t really lay down in it. So it’s out, but I like both of the other two, the jumpsuit's comfortable, and my magic should be able to repair it if it gets too heavily damaged (Magic! Why did I forget to account for that?!). and while the kevlar isn’t the most comfortable, it’ll protect me from most shrapnel.”
I looked at both options, I myself would have taken the uniform with the body armor, but I was biased, since it reminded me of NCR uniforms from back home. Plus the body glove has its own benefits, it was really light with good protection, and Sunset could summon a magic shield if she was ever caught in a truly deadly rain of fire or shrapnel, so the extra armor was almost superfluous.
“I think I’ll go with the jumpsuit. What do you think Gav?”
I blinked as she looked at me and replied with total honesty, “Whatever you like Sunset, you’ll look good in anything.”
She smiled at me before putting on the black body glove again, she then pulled on her tan combat boots, dark brown duster, and as she tied her red bandana around her neck (more out of habit than vanity, after all, due to good medicine and magic the hanging scar was almost completely invisible) I grabbed her black cowboy hat in my talons before setting it on her head.
She smiled again and looked in the mirror, “Lookin’ good mare.”
I chuckled, no matter where you go, mares will always care about their appearance. “Like I said Sunset, you’ll look good no matter what you wear, hell you don’t have to wear anything to look nice, and your tail covers everything anyways.”
She smiled with a blush and smacked me with said tail, “Well unlike you I wasn’t born into the scruffy rouge look, Canterlot has a way of making anyone not wearing their dress clothes feel inadequate... And stop talking about what's under my tail when there's other creatures around.”
I gave a small smirk and leaned in close, “What about when we're alone?”
Her tail whipped me across the face but it was worth it, cherry red blushing Sunset was almost as cute as sleeping Sunset (wait that sounds wrong…).
On the other side of the room Arend looked up from the massive ammo bins, “Herr Shimmer, are you zick? I can vetch a medikus if you need one.” I gave a short laugh when I saw Sunset’s face. Only to collapse into a full laughing fit when she turned to glare at me before storming out of the room.
By the time I recovered, Arend had walked over a confused look covering his normally stoic face, “Vhat did I say wrong Herr Gavin, Herr Shimmer’s face vas as red as zeh sunrise. Zhat is not a normal color for Herr Shimmer’s face…” he frowned in realization “her mane however.”
I rolled onto my belly and stood up, still gasping for air, “It’s...*huh* It’s nothing Ar…*huh* Arend, just mares being…*huh* mares.”
“If you zey so Herr Gavin.”
Behind the counter Steady was chuckling, “Ah young love…” But upon realizing that Sunset had walked out with an unpaid for suit of armor, glared at us. “You better be paying for that.”
“Sure thing Steady, I was the one who was going to pay for the stuff anyways… Mind if I look around a bit more paying?”
After spending another 10 minutes browsing the armor selections (the ones built for gryphons instead this time) and paying for our new gear. Arend walked out of the back room with some new gear. He still wore most of his old gear, his world war 2 field-grey uniform, trench coat, helmet, and weaponry. But from the armor racks Arend had grabbed an armored chest piece and metal vambraces for his front legs from a matching set, back home these would have been worthless on a battlefield (his or mine), but here people use close combat a lot more, making metal gear a much more viable option, if not a necessity.
After looking extensively at the available gear, I had to admit. Nothing I could buy here would help me in any way, the armor that was stronger than mine was too heavy, the light and flexible armors were paper mache compared to my modern gear, the more unique armors didn’t suit me (though I doubt that anyone could be comfortable in that combination NASA space suit/buccaneer’s outfit), and there were even extremely idiotic armor sets out here (what idiot decided that their armor should consist of nothing but a leather harness and a single shoulder pauldron?). Even their middleweight armors were less versatile than my own, requiring either a constant supply of magical power (like that one armored gauntlet with the big ass ruby in it), or were simply inferior.
My own Elite Riot Gear was perfect for me, with thick armor protecting my back and torso, shoulder pauldrons that barely restrict my range of motion, and vambraces that cover my fore limbs from the wrist of my talons to the elbow of my arms. Even my armored knee pads survived by being converted to hind leg armor by my world hop.
My coat was made to be worn over the chestplate but under the pauldrons and with the back armor laying over the back of the coat. The purpose was twofold, by having the armor on top of the coat, the coat (above the waist) wouldn’t flap in the wind, and it would also be protected from gunfire by the exposed armor. And my helmet came with integrated night vision (green for night time operations and red for indoor low-vision operations), a highly advanced gas mask filter (upgraded with my rebreather’s tech so I could also breath underwater), and a mostly unused built-in radio antenna.
All in all, not a wasted trip but less useful than I would have liked. Sunset (minus the cherry red glow) rejoined us in the front room, and from there we headed out, ready to take on the cruelest villain in the world… boredom.
