The Woman Who Lived Nextdoor

by Hazel Mee

First published

A fishercolt's world is turned upside-down when a human mare moves to his backwater town.

Mainstay's life was like an old shoe: worn and uncomfortable, but familiar. Nopony went on grand adventures in Smile Harbour, there were no lost magic artifacts or rampaging monsters, just the daily chore of reaping the sea and whiling away a quiet evening at the pub. But Mainstay is sucked into a maelstrom when one of a hoofful of humans who emigrated to Equestria buys the house nextdoor! With his peaceful life dashed on the rocks he flounders in this strange new sea, trying to find something, or somepony, to hold onto.


Trigger warning: Lots of swearing, some violence, mentions of suicide and self-harm, and a little vaguely described intimacy.

epub: The epub exported from FimFic won't render some of the fonts correctly -- at least it doesn't on my Kobo. Please download a corrected version here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=15TqKiYMwN_QV7Dq05WD_BTYn4ZRZ10mS

Pre-read by Nevran Sarif, Cross Lament, and Crystal Wishes.

Photo used for the cover, courtesy of pxhere.

1 - Big News

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"Mainstay! Hey, Mainstay!"

My ears flicked and I glanced at the sky through a tangled curtain of black mane. A tangerine pegasus dove through my sloop's rigging, swept out over the harbour and banked hard, dipping her primaries in the gentle waves.

White banks of wild cloud drifted in from the sea and into the waiting hooves of the town's weather team. Sun Squall's mane and tail of sapphire blue and white whipped like banners as she swooped back my way.

"Did you hear?"

Her hooves clattered on my sloop's bow. She pranced and wiggled and fluffed her wings to settle the feathers against her slim barrel.

"Did you? Did you?"

Her wide-eyed mischievous glee irritated me more than what her hooves were doing to my beat-up old boat — just a few more scuffs and dents to add to the collection. I grunted and tucked the thick, curved needle I held between my lips into the ripped net of a lobster trap I'd been repairing. Might as well take a break until the little chatterbox had said her fill and blown away.

I grumbled, "Afternoon, Squall. Have I heard what?" I honestly couldn't give a tail flick about the latest gossip from town. Who was climbing on who's back and how pricey the latest trainload of mainland potatoes were. Pfeh.

I spat over the rail while Sun Squall vibrated in front of me, pent up with something she thought was cloud shattering.

"Are you going to tell me?"

She stared at me with pretty eyes of blue that matched her mane and grinned like a loon. "Okay, okay. I just want to remember this."

I grimaced. "Remember what?"

"How your face looks when I tell you that your cousin finally sold that crappy shack next to yours."

"Huh. Well, good for her, I guess." I scuffed a grey hoof on the deck and shrugged it off.

Sun Squall was trying to tease a reaction out of me but I wouldn't rise to her bait. There was no sense in getting wound up over painful news I'd seen coming for years. My useless lay-about cousin abandoned us to move inland years ago and either somepony would buy it or it'd fall down. Stars but I hoped my new neighbours weren't a band with little foals. I'd grown use to the peace and quiet.

Her grin somehow got even wider. "She sold it to a hhh-yoo-mahn!"

"What?!"

Sun Squall got the perfect sweet Celestia, tell me you're joking or strike me dead reaction she'd been waiting for! My ears snapped back, my jaw dropped, and my eyebrows would have shot off if they weren't so firmly anchored. The gentle rocking of my sloop suddenly felt like we'd plunged over a swell and been caught in a maelstrom.

"Yup! It's up there right now trying to figure out who dumped a stinky pile of old gill nets in its living room." She cocked her head to one side and tapped her chin. "Saaay, those are your nets, aren't they?"

"Muffin tops!"

Larch deck planks thundered beneath my hooves as I galloped ashore. Sun Squall's wings snapped at the air as she gave chase while laughing her fool tail off.

My sloop was moored at the pier's end and I ran past the berths of a pair of broad-beamed trawlers and an old crabbing cog. Those boats could bring up more in a day than I managed in a moon, but at least I owned my sloop! Manehattan Fisheries had arrived with the train tracks and snapped up the local fleet. They'd fired half the crews, scrapped the small family boats that had been fishing here for generations, and replaced them with these soulless trawlers.

They were more efficient and profitable — profit for bit-counters on the other side of the country, anyway.

Crewponies hauled boxes from their swollen holds and carried them across the cobbled pier to a long storage shed. Fish and crustaceans packed in ice so they could be shipped by train all over Equestria, growing more expensive with every mile.

I was the only traditional fisherpony left and I was proud that the local townsponies bought most of what I caught. It wasn't a big market, but you wouldn't live in a place like this if you didn't have a taste for seafood. I dried and smoked what was left and traded with foreign merchants who made port a few times a year.

Stiff Breeze, a tough old salt and captain of the cog, the Red Claw, shouted a curse as I dodged around her. I almost took a tumble as my hoof slid in a puddle of icy water.

Ting! Ting! Two sharp notes rang out from the ice shed's brass bell and a moment later there was an answering whistle from a steam engine up the cliff. One of the unicorn twins stuck his head out of their shed, grinned and called something to me. I didn't bother raising my ears and couldn't hear him over the pounding of my hooves. Did he know about the human? It wouldn't surprise me as those two were always eager to poke their muzzles into other ponies business.

I didn't have time to stop and chew the hay! Not while some alien was poking around in my gear!

The cargo platform, stacked four layers deep with boxes of iced fish, lurched into the air as I sprinted past. Jumping on board flashed through my mind, but that was insanely dangerous and I could beat it to the top on my own hooves.

Maybe.

The beach's round pebbles slithered underhoof, slowing me some, and I was gasping before I'd made it halfway up the switchback trail to our village. I hit the cobbled lane that ran through the heart of Smile Harbour at a less gossip-igniting canter. Two and three-story buildings on both sides leaned against one another like old friends who'd had too much grog. Made of locally mined stone and rough timber from Pine Hollow, their walls, doors, and shutters were painted a quilt of rainbow colours. Their heavy roofs of grey slate would shed the fiercest downpour and hold fast in a gale, though today they baked under a peaceful mid-summer sun. I ran past the little shops selling local crafts and antiques, our general store, the bed-and-breakfast for tourists, our Coast Guard headquarters, town hall, pub, and a hoofful of homes.

Tourists called it "picturesque" and "quaint", and liked to pose for photos in front of the writhing kraken painted on our pub's signboard.

I drew curious looks from everypony out on the lane or leaning from windows to hang banners of laundry. I must be an unusual sight with my spotty grey coat lathered with sweat as I puffed along like a steam engine. It didn't help that I had a bright orange pegasus with a serious case of the giggles tailing me.

They smiled and nodded and whispered behind their hooves. It was a sure thing everypony already knew about the human, where I was headed, and why.

The cobbles ran out and I lurched into a gallop again, taking the trail north to The Hump — a whale-size granite boulder perched atop the cliff. The trail narrowed and I slowed to a walk as I skirted the cliff edge, wary of the surf and jagged rocks far below. Sun Squall would probably catch me if I fell, but I'd rather not take the chance. She might not notice with all her giddy loops and rolls scaring squawking flocks of gulls, rock doves, and puffins off the cliff.

I skipped my usual pat-for-luck on The Hump's lichen-covered surface.

It was already a not-lucky day.

North of The Hump it was all hills and hillocks covered with thin earth, scrubby grass, low bushes, and a few wind-twisted pines. Smile Harbour's farms were on more sheltered land east and south of town, but I liked it here. It was home. The grass was delicious in late spring, there was a huge variety of flowers to admire and nibble, and come fall there'd be blueberries by the stone! A hoofful of houses were scattered randomly among the outcrops of rock, boarded up or leaning sideways, slumping down to their final rest. Home now only to families of birds who whitewashed them with guano.

My cousin's house was nearest to town and the cliff-side trail ran right past its front door. My home stood next to it — sagged next to it. Sun Squall could honestly call my place a shack.

She might put down my cousin's house but it was sturdy and had four times as many rooms. And half as much paint. Patches of grey wood showed through where the house's scabby whitewash had been blasted clean by salty wind. It looked worse than it was and I'd have bought the place if had the bits. Not that I needed the extra space since I couldn't even afford to date, let alone support a band of my own. Mares and foals were expensive!

There was a human on the porch.

I'd half-hoped Sun Squall was yanking my chain.

She swooped down to hover by me. "See! I didn't lie, did I?"

I snorted and panted, "Y-you never do." Exaggerate like a yak, sure, but she never lied. Not to me, anyway.

She zipped ahead and hovered next to the unnatural-looking long-limbed creature as I trotted the last length.

"Here he comes", Sun Squall told it, as if it didn't have eyes of its own to see me coming.

Those eyes were pretty small so maybe it was half-blind like a mole?

"Hello, there", it said in a distorted Canterlot accent as I arrived at the porch steps.

It was tall!

If it weren't standing on the porch, my ear tips would only be halfway up its chest. It stood upright on its hinds, like an Abyssinian, but without a tail for balance. Maybe those paddle-like paws made up for it? It was peach-pink and its pants ended mid-hind, exposing the most fur-less skin I'd ever seen! Its wavy brown mane, its most appealing feature, framed a face of bare skin with tiny eyes, a flat muzzle, and a beak-like little nose. It was a queer-looking creature, but I'd seen queerer things in foreign lands. The pub's communal newspaper from Los Pegasus often had photos of humans on the front page these days, so I was half-prepared for how alien it looked. Photos didn't do its height justice even though I'd seen how tall its kind were compared with the Princesses.

It raised its spindly pink fores, holding out a tangled mess of fine-woven net. "Squall said this is yours?"

The tone of its voice was dead and dull, like lead sheet.

I panted as lather trickled down my heaving sides. "It-", gasp, "-mine." Gasp. "Y-yeah." Wheeze.

"Where do you want it?"

Not thinking, I jabbed a hoof at my back. It stepped down off of my cousin's porch and leaned over me to drop the net on my back. How on Princess Celestia's green earth it managed to not topple over boggled the mind! How did it stay upright?

I shied back as it loomed and a rock turned under my hind hoof, almost sending me down the blintzing slope to the cliff edge!

It growled and hissed something and backed off while clutching my net to its chest.

Sun Squall laughed like a lunatic. Of course.

"Here, let me do that", she giggled while hovering next to the human, holding out her fores.

"Yeah, okay."

It frowned at me with its eyebrows low over green eyes as it gave the bundle to Sun Squall. I ran a casual hoof over my sweaty mane. Nopony wants to look like a fool, even in front of an alien thing from another world. I was well known in the village for keeping my cool in the teeth of a gale but this thing had me spooked. Why couldn't they just muffin-well stay on their own blintzing world?

Sun Squall landed next to me after draping the net on my back.

"Calm down, Mainstay, she won't bite you."

She? Why hadn't Sun Squall told me it was a mare? Probably just yanking my chain to make it… her, seem more frightening.

The human mare chuckled and said, "I really won't. Not unless you ask nicely." And then she grinned.

Fangs! It had fangs!

She had fangs.

She crouched down and held out a fore with all the pink claws squished together into a lump. "I'm pleased to meet you, Mainstay. I'm your new neighbour, αηοηλмιss."

Was that her name? Grunts and hums and sibilant whispers.

Sun Squall snickered and I glanced at her suspiciously before screwing up my courage to step forward and quickly bump the tip of my hoof against the clenched claws. It helped my nerves that she crouched, bringing her little head level with mine.

A great stance for pouncing!

Stars, she was showing her fangs again! It was going to kill and eat me!

I pranced back with my teeth bared, ears flat, and tail tucked hard against my rump.

Sun Squall snickered and the human rolled her eyes; a pony-like gesture that was strangely reassuring.

I felt stupid for reacting so foalishly.

The Princesses wouldn't let a murderer into Equestria, would they? No… She might be a predatory creature, but I haggled with griffin traders all the muffin time without behaving like a frightened yearling.

I swallowed and forced myself to stop trembling. "Ah, hello, Miss-", and I tried my best to pronounce her gibberish name.

It wasn't pretty.

Sun Squall's wing smacked my rump as she burst into howling laughter. I jumped and whirled around to glare at her. "What's so funny?"

The human snickered and covered her blunt muzzle with a paw of pink claws. I glanced back and forth between them and asked, "What? What's going on?"

"Hee hee hee. I knew you wouldn't get it."

I prodded Sun Squall with a hoof and demanded, "Wouldn't get what?"

"That's not really my name", said the human.

I snorted and angrily snapped my tail from side to side. "Then why say it was?"

She raised her claws in surrender, another pony-like gesture, and said, "Never mind. It ruins the joke if I have to explain it. Squall here's the only pony to get it since I left Canterlot."

Well, that made sense at least since Sun Squall was gaga over Earth. She spent her free time reading about the place and bent everyponys ears about how amazing it was.

Sun Squall bumped my shoulder with hers. "It's a play on words in εηgℓιsн — that's her language. Before the Gate opened, humans wrote silly stories about one of them ending up in Equestria. αηοηλмιss isn't a real name, it's a mix of, uh, 'not-having-a-name' and 'miss'."

"Miss Not-having-a-name?" I grimaced sourly. "Hilarious."

The crouching human smiled, mercifully not showing her teeth, and said, "My name's actually мαяλ."

"Maaay-ruhee?" It sounded weird on my lips. Like a sheep bleating.

"No. мαяλ."

"Mayree?"

She sighed and stood up. "Close enough. Maybe I should just take a pony name, huh?" She hooked a claw at the open door to my cousin's house and asked, "What should I do with the rest of your junk?"

I didn't pout. Stallions don't pout. I studly said, "I'll take care of it", and went to go inside.

I could probably shove them under the… No, I had the extra net floats there. Maybe I could hang them… No, I had the excess dried fish hanging from the rafters, out of the weather but stinking the place up. Well, muffins! I'd find somewhere to stow them!

Mayree's fur-less pink hind swung between me and the door. I looked up at her, balancing on a single hind like a gigantic, fleshy stork, and felt a shiver run down my spine.

So unnatural… but kind of impressive.

"Uh uh uh. Didn't you forget something?" she asked.

Okay, now I did pout while furrowing my brow. "I don't think so."

She furrowed her brows right back at me. Squeezing together the fuzzy brown caterpillars above her tiny green glaring eyes. "I'll give you a hint. It's my house now."

Oh. Muffin.

I coughed and politely asked, "May I enter?"

Her bone-y hind moved out of my way. "Be my guest."

"I'll help", chirped Sun Squall and barged in behind me.

Mayree didn't make her beg for permission first. I grunted at the usual fillies-before-willies attitude that seemed to cross species and even worlds.

She must have just arrived on the morning train because the interior of my cousin's… of her house, looked exactly the same as when I'd been in last week: dusty and cobwebbed, with peeling paint and wall paper. At least it didn't stink of mold and fish guts like my leaky shack. The slate roof was sound and all the windows were intact, just crusted with dirt and salt. My cousin paid me a few bits every month to look after the place — guess I could kiss that goodbye.

In front of the cold fireplace, a pile of my nets and an eel trap sat on our old sheet-covered couch. I used to bounce on it when I was a little colt.

I sighed, dragged a folded net off of the couch and expertly flipped it on my back.

Sun Squall helped load the others onto me, and I soon looked like a pack mule. It was bulky, but not heavy, and I was grateful to my earth pony ancestors for my broad back and an innate talent for balancing loads.

Mayree followed us inside. She carried a heavy-looking sack in either claw and had strapped a huge sack to her own back. I was amazed that she didn't break or topple over! Our old wobbly dining table, that didn't even come up to her waist, creaked under the heavy sacks. She shrugged out of the back-sack and bent to set it on the floor.

I'd never admit it, but I was impressed by how gracefully she moved, and her sense of balance was awe inspiring. I could only stumble around on my hinds for a few moments before falling on my flank.

Sun Squall snatched up the trap and whispered in my ear, "I think she likes you."

"Hah!"

I shrugged under the itchy nets and walked out the door for the last time.

2 - D.I.Y.

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Why had she come to Smile Harbour?

Just to aggravate me, I bet. Somepony who hates me probably told her, "You want to have fun in Equestria? There's this fishercolt I know and-"

Gnashing my teeth, I shoved the pillow off my head. It wasn't helping anyway.

Three bleary-eyed steps took me from bed to my kitchen. My little dining table was now temporary (ha!) storage for my nets and eel trap. I stirred the embers in my potbellied stove and put on the kettle — might as well brew up if I couldn't blintzing-well sleep. My ear muscle ached but wouldn't stop twitching at every sharp report of hammer head on nail.

It started yesterday.

I woke before Princess Celestia's blessed orb rose, and broke fast with cold porridge before sailing out to one of my favourite spots on the shoals. The trawlers didn't work such shallow waters and the Red Claw was after lobster a few miles north, so everypony was happy as clams with their patch. I hauled in a reasonable catch, docked and unloaded, then headed home for lunch and a nap.

Only to find a dozen or more earth ponies and unicorns swarming like ants as they hauled loads of lumber and crates between the train station and Mayree's house. With all the shouting and tromping of hooves I didn't get any rest yesterday and was pretty grouchy at the pub that evening.

Might have said a few unkind things about my new neighbour.

This morning I struggled to get out of bed and caught more restless naps than fish.

Only to come home to this!

Tap tap. Bang bang bang!

The other townsponies were cupcake-lucky to have The Hump between them and this racket.

I shambled outside with a cracked mug of tea clenched in a fore and sat by my door to watch Mayree working on my cou… on her house.

Tap tap. Bang bang bang bang! Bang!

She was tightening the loose siding and replacing salt-rotten boards, but at the rate she was going she'd be at it for days! She'd had a crew of construction ponies deliver the stuff, why was she doing all the work herself?! What an inconsiderate, dough-headed, ugly, backward, annoying…

Mayree saw me glaring her as she walked to the pile of seasoned lumber stacked between our homes. She ignored my foul mood, all smiles and a cheerful nod. I just narrowed my eyes and slurped tea. She carried a fresh plank of siding to the wall while humming a happy tune.

She was having fun!

Fun annoying me or doing the work? I guess that's one thing we might have in common — I enjoyed working with my hooves and those flexible hands of hers almost seemed designed to work a saw or swing a hammer.

Hands. Yeah, not claws or paws.

At least I could pronounce that alien word without swallowing my tongue.

Her long brown mane was bundled together behind her neck, held with a loop of glittering pink frill. Mayree called it a ροηλταιℓ, which Sun Squall thought was hilarious for some reason. She wore a white pull-over shirt with short sleeves over her upper fores. I couldn't pronounce her word for a human's forelegs: a short guttural growling grunt with a sibilant hiss at the end. Her thin barrel and hinds were covered in something like a farmpony's smock made of blue canvas, and over her paws, bright yellow slippers.

The only sensibly colourful part of her drab outfit. If a mare was going bother wearing anything it should at least be pretty, right? In photos I'd seen of humans they'd all been wearing dull clothing that covered most of their bodies. With no fur they must fall prey to chills and sunburn, but did they go properly naked indoors?

I sipped my tea and watched her struggle to hold a fresh board against the wall while lightly tapping a nail into it. Stupid mare. She should start all of the nails with the board on the ground, then hold it up to-

Bang bang thwack!

"ƒμςκ! sнιτ! ƒμςκιηg мοτнεя ƒμςκεя!" She danced around, clutching her left hand.

It was mean but I couldn't help smirking, just a little. I got up, set my mug on my door stoop, and ambled over to her.

She cursed some more, even in a foreign tongue those were obviously livid curses, then whirled around and kicked the board. It fell off the wall and it finally happened, what I'd feared from the day I met her, she toppled and landed hard on her rump in the scrubby grass.

"Are you alright?" I asked and she whipped around to glare at me.

"I'm fine", she said tightly. "I'm just ƒμςκιηg great."

With her head at my level, I saw tears just starting to trickle down her fur-less cheeks. I coughed as she roughly swiped her eyes with a sleeve.

"Would you like a helping hoof?"

She squinted at me and heaved herself upright. "Why? Are you offering one?" She patted and swiped dirt off her rump.

"No, I thought it'd be fun to ask and then gallop away laughing if you said yes." I yawned and shook my head. "I really will help if you want, honest."

She scowled at me.

"Last time I'll offer."

She inhaled deeply through her tiny nose, held it a moment, and exhaled from her mouth. "Okay, why not?" She looked down at me and frowned. "But what can you even do? You're not exactly a unicorn, unless you're hiding a horn up that tight rump."

I rolled my eyes, scooped up the fallen hammer in the crook of my fore and held out a hoof. "Give me a nail."

She furrowed her brows at me and frowned even harder.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Please."

Her pocket jingled and she dropped a nail into my upturned hoof. I popped it between my lips. It was warm.

I shuddered and stepped around her to lay the fallen board flat on the ground. A quick twist of the hammer's hook and the bent nail popped out. I kept an eye on where it landed so I could pick it up later, because getting a nail in your frog is not fun. I held the new nail in place and tapped it sharply with the hammer to get it started.

"Another… please", I said while holding out my hoof.

Mayree stared at me with what I'm pretty sure was a shocked expression on her flat face. Eyes wide, eyebrows up, mouth open. Her mouth snapped shut and she handed me a nail.

Wack.

I held my hoof out. "Another."

Wack.

Hoof out.

Wack.

Wack.

Wack.

"Okay, I'll hold it and you drive them home."

The weird pink wigglers on her hand touched me as I hoofed her the hammer. My gut shrieked 'octopus!' and I couldn't help yanking back as if I'd touched a hot stove.

"Wow", she said with a smirk. "Kind of touchy, aren't you?"

I snorted at her and picked up the board with my teeth. It was light as a feather and I stretched my neck to get it flat on the wall. Standing up on my hinds was more difficult and I spread my legs while using my fores to shove the board into place on the wall.

Mayree loomed over me with the hammer and pounded the first nail flush with a few efficient strikes. She moved to hammer the next one, but I said, "No, do the one at the other end so I can let go."

"Oh, right."

She walked around me and I had to flick my tail or she would've stepped on the blintzing thing!

While she was finishing the rest of the nails I trotted to the lumber pile and pulled out another siding board. I had to be careful because they were rough-sawn and lip splinters were a nightmare to get out.

She passed me the hammer and this time I didn't shudder like a filly when her pink tentacles brushed me. I prepared the board, held it in place, and she finished it off. Again and again, board after board, we hammered and sawed until that side of the old house was shipshape and ready for a lick of paint. My lips curved in a tight smile. This work had been on my to-do list for months, but my cousin was too cheap to pay for new siding. It may not be in the family any more, but at least it would be in good shape by the time we were done.

"Let's take a break", Mayree said while wiping sweat from her brow.

"Okay."

I ambled towards my shack, thinking I would finish of my cold tea, when she called to me.

"I have soda if you want one."

"Oh, okay, thanks."

A breeze blew in from the South Luna Ocean but it was still hot as baked biscuits in the sun. Mayree went inside but I didn't dare follow since I didn't have permission, but there was plenty of shade beneath the porch's roof.

"Cola okay?" she yelled.

"Sure!"

I sat, squinted at the bright reflection from the waves, and a few moments later she returned with a bottle of Celestial Cola in each hand. It was cold! So cold a white mist formed on the glass as I took it from her. Weird. I twisted the cap off with my molars and drank half the bottle of cold sweet fizzy pop in a couple of swallows. It felt like an icicle sliding down to melt in my sweaty belly.

"Ahhhhh…"

I hadn't had one in months and never one this cold. Not in the heat of summer, anyway. It felt glorious!

"That good, huh?" asked Mayree as she walked around me.

"Yeeeesssssssss…", I burped like a foghorn and barked a laugh.

"Jεsμs!" She laughed as she set her rump down beside me and leaned back against the house.

Shrill cries from a flock of gulls made my sore ears twitch as they hovered on wind blowing up the cliff. One folded its wings and dropped like a spear, disappearing behind the grass stalks waving on the edge. I could just make out a crash of waves hitting the beach far below us, a constant whoosh and roar like some vast beast breathing.

My ears jerked as Mayree made a piercing hoot beside me. Her lips pursed as she blew across her bottle's neck.

Freak.

She stared out to sea and asked, "Why are you helping me?"

I shrugged. "Mostly so it gets done quicker and I can go back to getting some sleep in the afternoon."

"Oh, sorry." She frowned and sipped from her bottle. "You could have told me. I didn't know you were asleep."

I grouched, "I didn't think you'd care."

"Hey, you're the pony that hates me! Don't go assuming the feeling is mutual."

"I don't hate you."

"Oh, no?" She set her bottle down and started ticking off on her creepy tentacles. "You bad mouth me around town. You take off from the pub when I show up. You told Sun Squall she could only be friends with you or with me." I flinched as she waved her hand threateningly. "I should smack you for that! She's a nice pony, you jεяκ. And when I showed up on your crappy little boat to tell you to make up, you screamed at me until she dragged me away."

I made a sour face and poured soda into it to try and sweeten my mood. The town's rumour-mill was still grinding that tasty nugget of drama.

Licking my lips I carefully said, "I don't like you. That doesn't mean I hate you."

She snorted and waved her hands. "Same difference! I'm stuck living next to the only pony in town who doesn't like me."

"You could always move."

"ƒμςκ λομ, λομ αηηολιηg ℓιττℓε sнιτ."

I smirked. "That didn't sound polite."

"It wasn't." She sighed, wrapped her long fores around her hinds and pulled them to her lumpy chest. "It's because I stole your cousin's house, isn't it? Or are you just a tribalist road-apple that hates humans?"

Turning my head, I dry-spat into the grass. "Ptew on tribalist muffin-heads!"

But anti-human? Yeah, I could see why a pony might fear and dislike them. It's tough to love your 'creators' when they turn out to be lunatic predators who were blintzing up their world and enjoyed killing things — especially one another. That's if you believe the story that a bunch of humans made up a fairytale for their foals, and, poof, somehow our world sprang into existence.

Load of sourdough if you ask me.

She sipped her drink and asked, "So it's the house then?"

I snorted and drank the last of mine.

She sighed and said, "Well, I'm sorry, okay, but I'm not moving out! You might as well stop being a muffin-head to me and Squall just because I bought your cousin's old cottage. Place was falling apart anyway."

That stung. Sure it was a bit rundown, but I'd worked hard to make sure it wasn't a boarded-up heap like the other abandoned houses north of The Hump.

She wanted to know why I was angry? Fine. "This should have been my house."

"Oh, really? How do you figure that?"

I looked into her small sea-green eyes and there was tension around them. Annoyed? Curious? Both? Some alien emotion? It was hard reading her expression with those frozen ears and thin lips.

"This used to be my band's home when I was a colt. When my mother ran away to Manehattan she sold it to my aunt and then she willed it to my cousin. Rosy Dawn let me stay until she married and then I had to move out to make room for everypony."

I waved a hoof in the general direction of my hovel. "They graciously gave me our old storage shed and I made it comfortable enough."

Mayree winced and made an odd popping sound with her lips. "That's harsh. Why didn't your mother give you the house?"

My lips curled in a humourless smile. "The same reason my cousin sold it to you — for the bits. Moving to Manehattan isn't cheap, you know."

"I guess, if it's anything like мαηнατταη on Earth." She grimaced and stared hard at the bottle in her hand. "I couldn't do that to my foal. If I ever have any."

Odd, I'd assumed she had a foal or two by how swollen her misplaced teats were. Mom had other reasons, but that was none of Mayree's business and I didn't want to think about it.

I stood and stretched my legs. "Are you done? I'd like to get back to work."

She grumbled something under her breath and shoved herself away from the floor, levering her long body upright again. I shied away as she stooped to pick up my empty.

I nodded to the bottle and said, "Thank you for that."

She called over her shoulder as she went inside, "It's the least I can do."

I had to agree with her. It really was.

3 - House Warming

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"Isn't this great?" Sun Squall shouted in my ear. "She's really made something special out of this heap!"

Everywhere I looked around the crowded living room I saw bits and lots of them. Mayree did hire contractors from blintzing Canterlot to deal with the interior, and it showed: pale silk wallpaper with delicate floral patterns woven from gold and azure thread; sleek glistening furniture right out of an upper-crust home decor magazine; bright magical lights inside frosted-glass globes instead of candles or oil lamps; plates, bowls, cups, and cutlery that a princess would be delighted to use; and a spread of fine cheeses, grapes, caviar, and many bottles of fancy wine.

Even the ponies from the wealthy side of town seemed impressed, if surprised — like they'd stumbled over a gem in a trash heap. They'd probably only set hoof north of The Hump because being invited by one of the few humans living in Equestria was so intriguing.

I nodded and muttered, "Yeah, it's something alright."

"What?!"

I grimaced and yelled in Sun Squall's ear, "I said it's fabulous!"

She grinned and bumped her hip against mine. "Cheer up! It's a party you dope! You're supposed to be having fun!"

Loud thumping wub music blasted from high-tech speakers on either side of the now-pristine fireplace and it forced everypony to shout their conversation. My ears hurt. My throat hurt. I drank a swallow of sour merlot older than me and hoped the alcohol would numb them. I'd crawl off to my shack but it would be almost as loud and I couldn't face Sun Squall harping at me again.

Once a month was my limit for crawling on my belly to beg her forgiveness.

I'm glad she was here because the other guests wouldn't lower themselves to speaking to me. Hating on the town's darling human snaked me to the lowest rung on the social ladder. Not that I really cared, so long as they still bought my ice crab.

And here she comes.

"Hi, Squall!" Mayree bent to give Sun Squall a one-legged hug while holding her sloshing crystal goblet up high.

"Hi, Mainstay!" Thank Celestia she didn't try to hug me, but just bared her fangs and wiggled her octopus.

"I'm glad you both came! Are you having a good time?"

Sun Squall danced on her hooves while flapping her wings. "Yeah! I love what you've done with the place!"

"Thanks!" She grinned at me with wide eyes, fishing for a compliment. It couldn't have been more obvious if her ears had perked forward and pointed right at me.

I shouted, "It's fabulous!"

"Aww… Thanks, guys!" She straightened up and wiggled to settle her dress; a tube of stretchy black fabric that contrasted sharply with her pale skin. It clung to her tall skinny body from shoulder to mid-hinds and dipped low in the front to reveal the cleft between her teats. She must have gone to Crashing Surf to get her mane done because it bounced around her shoulders in waves, dark and glistening.

My nostrils flared and caught her scent of flowers and musky sweat.

"Great party, Mayree! Thanks for inviting me, I don't usually get to go to anything this fancy! Not in Smile Harbour anyway!" Sun Squall leaned into Mayree's side and nuzzled her fore.

She petted Sun Squall and scratched behind her ears, making her tip her head back, smile, and squint her eyes. I bet if she'd been a cat I would've heard her purring even over the 'music'.

Mayree shouted, "Glad you're enjoying it! We should do this all the time!"

"Stars no!" I yelped and winced as Mayree raised an eyebrow and Sun Squall frowned. Oh, no! I didn't want to get back into the dog-shack so soon. "I mean… I live right next door and-", I waved a hoof to take in the room, "-it's kind of loud!"

Mayree showed me her white fangs and asked, "So you wouldn't come again if I ask nicely?" She barked a laugh and gulped from her glass, one sheet to the wind and cutting the second one loose.

I was saved from replying by the music abruptly ending in a chorus of "Aww"s from her guests.

Mayree giggled and set her empty glass down. "Oops, back in a sec."

She waded through the roomful of sweaty ponies and Sun Squall leaned close to whisper in my ringing ear, "Told you she likes you."

4 - Inspiration

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"Is it my turn yet?" the unicorn filly whined.

Her earth pony friend stood on her hinds and peered through a window at the back of Mayree's house. She hissed, "Shhh!"

"But you've been looking for ages! It's gotta be my turn!" She huffed when her friend didn't move aside and asked, "Is she as pretty as they say?"

"She's bee-ewe-tea-ful! But she must've been in a different room 'cause I only got to see her for a moment."

"Let her have a look Spray, she won't stop whining until you do." The third filly fluffed her wings nervously as she peered around the corner of the house toward The Hump trail.

They had their backs to me as I slowly crept forward. Mayree was lucky I'd been back here, gathering grass to make hay, when these trouble-makers had shown up. What were they hoping to get cutie marks in? Voyeurism? Their parents would love that. At least they didn't have a camera like that ponyrazzi muffin-head I'd chased away last week.

"Hey, you brats!"

They gasped and three sets of shocked eyes whipped around to stare at me. That's right, filly. You have to look all around if you're on watch.

"Get away from there you little cupcakes!"

I chased them down the path to The Hump and their high-pitched squeals turned to gasping laughter as I skidded to a halt. I snorted after them and high-stepped back to my shack with my tail bannered high and my nose in the air. It wasn't much of a victory, chasing off a pack of nosey fillies, but I'd take what I could get.

"My hero", Mayree called to me from her porch.

Embarrassed, I settled my trot to a plod and forced my tail down.

"Did you have to do that?"

I snorted and asked, "You want ponies peeping through your window trying to see what you look like undressed?"

"Ascribe not thine own foul intent to innocent foals!"

My eyes watered from bashing my muzzle against the dirt.

Princess Luna sighed and in a deep growl commanded, "Rise, Mainstay. I desire not thine pathetic grovellings."

She knew my name! Princess muffin Luna knew my blintzing name!

I gingerly stood and brushed dirt from my chest fur while glancing out of the corner of my eye at the porch. Mayree leaned casually against one of the roof posts while the Princess stood halfway out the door beside her. The refurbished house seem like a shabby heap compared with her glossy dark perfection. Why would she stoop to getting her mirror-bright shoes dirty in our filthy little village? Where were the Royal Guards? This should be huge news in town! No princess had ever visited Smile Harbour!

"This be the annoying wastrel of whom thou wrote?" she asked in a voice of quiet thunder. "The colt who doeth vex thee with his mean-spirited imprecations and ill manners?"

Mayree chuckled and said, "Yeah, but we're best buddies now. Aren't we, Mainstay?"

I squeaked and my quivering legs almost gave out under Princess Luna's glare. I'd throw myself on the ground and beg, but I doubt she'd be as forgiving as Sun Squall. Not the immortal all-powerful alicorn who could carry a grudge for a thousand years!

She sniffed and dismissed me like the filthy grub I was, and I almost moaned with relief.

Princess Luna nudge Mayree's shoulder with her perfect muzzle and asked, "Will we host thee in Canterlot ever again? Say yes, I pray thee."

Mayree draped one of her long fores around the graceful curve of the princess' neck and fondled her starry mane. She sighed and said, "Maybe. If you can keep it a secret so I don't get mobbed by those annoying nobles again."

"Huzzah! We shall make it so." Princess Luna nuzzled Mayree's cheek and said, "Come to us during Hearth's Warming at the very least and we shall make merry, just thou and I if that is thy wish."

"Alright. Thanks, Lulu." Mayree wrapped both fores around Princess Luna's neck and hugged her. The Princess hung her head over Mayree's shoulder and her bright cyan eyes pinned me in place. Her frown made my bowls turn to water and I desperately wanted to grovel some more — she might not like it but it would make me feel a lot better!

"I have tarried here overlong and must fly. Taketh care of thineself friend мαяλ sмιτн and we shall see thee anon."

I clenched my eyes as a down draft from her massive wings kicked up clouds of dust and dry grass.

"You can get up now."

I peeked from behind my hooves but kept my belly pressed firmly in the dirt. "Y-you're f-friends with Princess Luna?"

Mayree leaned over me with a half-smile quirking her lips, but for once I didn't feel intimidated. After being threatened by a muffin Princess I doubt anything would ever frighten me again!

She chuckled and sat on the porch steps. "Yeah, she's a big fan. She loved the episodes I wrote for her."

She frowned at my blank look. "The two-part finale of season eleven?"

I maintained my blank expression.

"Haven't you even watched the show?"

I shook my head. "I was too busy when the travelling exhibition about Earth came through Smile Harbour." Busy fishing, sleeping, staring at the wall, picking lint from my belly button.

"Not even a little curious, huh?" She sighed and scuffed one of her bare paws in the dirt while lacing the ends of her hands together.

They weren't toes or paw pads. Feelers. I was going to call them 'feelers', since that's what see seemed to do with them all the time.

"Can't blame you. I don't like watching it anymore either."

I lay in the dirt, staring up at her sad vulnerable face — and wished she'd muffin-well get off her rump and go back inside already! My ears rotated back as she stayed silent while gulls called and chuckled at one another behind me.

"I met her, you know."

She spoke so quietly I almost missed it. My ears snapped forward.

"Midnight Shadow. The villain I came up with for Luna to smack down. Luna didn't want to take me, but I bugged her until she let me go to Tartarus to meet her. She was-", she grimaced and clenched her hands together, "-insane. Raving about how she'd break out someday and get her revenge. And I put her there." She laughed and said, "нεℓℓ, I made her a ρsλςнοτις βιτςн for Luna and the others to use as a punching bag. No redemption episode for poor ƒμςκιηg Midnight."

I snorted derisively, blowing a puff of dust onto her paws.

"Heh. You don't believe it, do you, Mainstay?"

I grumbled, "That you humans made us up to amuse your foals? No, I don't." I flicked a pebble with my hoof. "Did a human write about that? Did they paint it for one of your picture stories? No. But it's there all the same."

She chuckled and said, "You might be right. Smile Harbour isn't in the show βιβℓε, they didn't draw the train track to it on the official map, and there aren't even any fan stories that mention it. I checked before deciding it was the perfect place for me: pretty, an ocean-front view, and off the beaten path. Far away from-", she waved a hand in the air, "-all that."

I nodded, grinding my filthy chin in the dirt. "There's probably hundreds, no, thousands of little nowhere towns like this that nopony thinks twice about unless they live there." I shrugged and asked, "Would any of them exist if you humans made us up?"

She hummed and leaned back, putting her hands on the porch deck for support and hunching her shoulders. "You believe the inspiration theory then?"

"Sure, I guess."

"So, somehow visions of your world leaked into the minds of everypony who worked on the show? Midnight Shadow existed already and some spooky magic made me think I came up with her?"

"Isn't that was inspiration is?" I asked. "I'm no artist but everypony has had ideas pop into their head. Maybe there's another world next door that ponies dream about? Maybe we dream about yours?"

She sighed and frowned at me, though her eyes were looking right through me. Such a troubled expression.

"I don't blame you, Mayree. Not for the week of horrible nightmares and headaches that muffin-headed mare gave everypony. You may have wrote about it, but you didn't cause it, and if she's in Tartarus it's because she deserves to be there."

Making a sour face she said, "Okay, well, thanks for trying to cheer me up, anyway."

"I really don't blame you."

"Yeah, I get that. Thanks, Mainstay, but if I didn't create the story and somehow it came true, then I'm just a secretary taking notes. What's the point in being a writer if it's not really me coming up with any of it?"

She abruptly stood up and I flinched, grinding my belly into the dirt. "ƒμςκ this serious sнιτ! I'm going to grab a beer, do you want one?"

I coughed and said, "Yes, please. Thank you." It would be nice to wash the dust out of my mouth.

She paused in the door and asked, "Are you going to clean that up?"

I grumbled, "I'll get a shovel."

5 - Shoals

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I rapped on Mayree's door, leaving a few fresh scuffs on the shiny new brass hoof-plate. The door stayed firmly closed even though I'd seen some lights on as I walked over. Impatient to get going, I rapped again.

The tides waited for nopony… or human.

The door yanked open and Mayree sang, "Good morning, Mainstay!" Her normally leaden voice sounded almost pony-cheerful.

I danced back, putting a few steps between my muzzle and her exposed belly of smooth skin. A dusting of fine fur around the whirlpool of her belly button glistened in the porch light. She wore an unbuttoned pink top with long sleeves over her fores and the loose fabric tied in a knot beneath her teats; red short pants covered her rump, leaving her long hinds exposed; and her paws stood on flat shoes held on by straps between her toes.

Coffee, egg, and toast drifted into my nose, along with her musky floral scent. I swallowed saliva as my tummy rumbled, but it would have to make do with oatmeal and tea until lunch.

"Good morning, Mayree. Ready to go?"

"Yes! Just a sec." She bent over to heave up a heavy wicker basket in her fores and she grunted, "Don't move", while staggering over to me.

"I didn't sign up for this", I complained as she carefully placed it on my back.

"I can't carry it all that way and since you're an earth pony, I figured…" She shrugged, unnecessarily adjusted it, and asked, "Do you need straps or something to keep it on?"

"I'm an earth pony", I said in a flat tone. Could I keep things on my back? Please. "Can we go now?"

"Sure." She called into her house, "Squall! We're leaving!"

Squall was here?

After a clink of fine dishes Sun Squall scampered out in a flurry of feathers. "Sorry, sorry. Your coffee's just too good, Mayree! I had to have another."

"You gave her coffee?" I shied away from Sun Squall as her wings buzzed like a hornet and she grinned like a blintzing lunatic.

I pointed a shaking hoof at her and said, "Why don't you fly down and-" She took off in a storm of feathers and I yelled off the cliff after her, "We'll meet you there!"

Mayree giggled as she locked the door and hummed a happy tune while we walked to town. There was enough light to see by from the stars and setting half-moon, and when we reached The Hump, lightstones embedded in the rock glowed into life.

"Glad these are here", she said while brushing her feelers over one.

I chuckled and told her, "The town paid for them when more ponies lived north of The Hump."

"Oh?"

"There were a lot of new bits flooding in when the train station was built, so the Mayor splashed it around and spruced the town up." I snorted and spat off the cliff. "She didn't count on those bits luring ponies away to better-paying jobs though. It was just me left after the Cart Rights moved to Appleloosa last year."

"Huh."

Mayree usually slept until after sunrise and she'd probably never seen the lightstones before. Most days they only shined on my early morning trot to work.

Smile Harbour was quiet, aside from my hoofsteps and flap-flaps from Mayree's shoes. A half-dozen fish oil street lamps lit the dark lane and only the bakery's windows glowed as they fired up their ovens. A delicious tang of yeast in the cool air made my tummy grumble again. I liked this time of day. Everything was still and peaceful and even the other crews were just hauling their sorry rumps out of bed. But I wasn't use to sharing my morning and I couldn't decide if I liked it or not — the change in routine was irritating even if having company was kind of nice. Mayree was smiling when I glanced up at her, so maybe she liked the wee hours as well?

Sun Squall buzzed past and messed up Mayree's mane as we reached the trail down to the harbour. Her squeaky fiendish giggles swooped off into darkness as Mayree chuckled and combed her feelers through her long hair.

A lightstone on the corner post flickered and glowed as I walked around a bend in the trail. "So… Squall stayed at your place last night?"

I wouldn't be surprised if she had, since she was so interested in humans and yesterday Mayree had invited her along on today's trip. They'd become fast friends and where you found one you usually found the other.

"Yeah, it saved time." Her white teeth glinted as she grinned. "And she's the ultimate fluffy toy to cuddle with."

I turned my eyes back to the trail and asked, "Is that how you see us? Fluffy toys to snuggle and pet?"

"Some more than others."

"Do you think it's because you humans designed us to be cute and cuddly and simple?" I may have sounded bitter and annoyed — but I usually did.

"I didn't say that", she protested. "Could you not be a muffin-head? I want to have fun today."

"You're the boss."

And that was annoying too! She'd payed me for this little joy-ride so, technically, she was the boss — today anyway. All of this morning's little irritations built up like grains of sand packed into my hoof. I managed to keep it in and hold my tongue, until we reached the pebble beach and she caught up to walk beside me.

"Squall's a fluffy toy that likes mares."

"What?"

"She likes mares… and stallions. Something to keep in mind the next time you're cuddling."

She laughed and shook her head. "I'm sure you'll keep it in mind, you little pervert."

Muffins. That didn't bother her at all, but maybe she'd hesitate to invite Squall to another sleepover.

A steady wind blew from shore this morning and with sails set in a broad reach we practically flew to my usual anchorage on the shoals. When I was a foal there were dozens of small boats like mine, racing out to sea, competing for the richest fishing grounds. Now, nopony else was out yet. Our lonely oil lamp swung on the mast and reflected from wave crests as the Moon sank toward the horizon off our starboard bow.

I ponied the tiller while Mayree and Sun Squall huddled near the bow, braving the salty spray with one of her wings wrapped around Mayree's middle to ward off the chill.

Mayree stuck her tongue out at me.

The sky was lightening behind us and an orange glow lit the horizon as I struck sail. I squeezed past the mares to tip the anchor overboard and secured its chain.

"What are we going to fish for?" asked Sun Squall.

"Hmm… Think I'll just toss in a net and see what happens." I nodded to Mayree and said, "I don't really have to catch anything since you've already paid for today." And several more days-worth of what I'd make fishing.

She hugged herself, shivered and said, "Y-you're welcome. When does it warm up?"

"When the Princess raises the sun. Should be any-", her blinding bright orb darted above the horizon, "-second now."

"Thank gοδ!"

Sun Squall snickered and said, "More or less, yeah." Mayree giggled and I just shook my head.

I really didn't have to bother fishing but I would anyway, though I wasn't going to work too hard or worry about my catch size. I could use the bits and didn't want to waste the hold-full of ice I'd already bought from the dock unicorns. Next time, if there was a next time, I'd ask Mayree to book ahead and save my bits.

While I put out a net, Mayree lazed around on the bow deck and Sun Squall worked off her coffee buzz. She zipped around over the waves, chased gulls, and sometimes perched briefly in the rigging. Sun Squall's family had just moved to Smile Harbour when she followed me out to sea one morning… without asking. She'd hung around all day to pester me with questions about everything nautical. Having lived her whole life in the heartland, fish had been a rare treat on her family's dining table before they moved, and she was like a wet-eared foal when it came to the Sea, boats, and fishing. She was more annoying than a flock of gulls! But she won me over by using her pegasus-eye view of fish schools to help me haul in the best catch I'd had in months! I treated her to dinner at the pub, introduced her around, and we'd been friends ever since. Sun Squall was well named: bright, beautiful, and hazardous — hazardous to a foul mood, anyway. I chuckled as she hooted and spiralled over the waves, slapping them with her wing tips, before shooting straight up into the blue sky.

When it had grown hot enough for me to start sweating, Mayree stood and untied the fabric around her belly. She slipped her fores out of her shirt and draped it over the boom. Her barrel had a tight slip of bright red fabric wrapped around it and a bump distorted the cloth over each teat.

I blushed and my hot ears flicked down and up as I quickly looked away. A brief sharp sound, like wasp buzz, made me snap around to see her slipping out of her red rump covering.

"What are you doing?" I yelped.

Like an onion, she had a matching strip of red fabric around her hips and over her foal-making parts — if that's where humans kept them.

She flopped her short pants over the boom and bared her fangs at me. "Sun bathing and then I might go for a swim. Why?"

Sun bathing? Was she going to leap into the sky and go for a swim in it? I suppose she was friends with Princess Celestia as well, so anything was possible.

I snorted and warned her, "Somepony might see you!"

"You're seeing me."

"Me too", Sun Squall called cheerfully as she swooped past. "Nice outfit!"

Exasperated, I waved my fore hooves in the air and yelled, "I mean somepony with a camera!"

Mayree laughed and said, "Out here? That's why I rented your boat, Mainstay; to get away from all that. And if a pegarazzi shows up, I'm sure Squall can chase them off."

"I hope they do!" Sun Squall sang gleefully as she circled the sloop. "Sounds like fun!"

"See, it's all good. Relax, grumpy."

Mayree stalked to the bow, unrolled a thick towel on the deck, and stretched out on her back.

So that was sun bathing? More like sunlight toasting.

I don't know why it upset me. Sun Squall wasn't wearing anything and I only had my cork vest on, but Mayree? Sure, I'd grown use to seeing her long-limbed fur-less strangeness towering over everypony as she strode around like she owned the place. But seeing her nearly naked had me all kinds of bothered.

Well…

I could sit here squirming or do something useful, so I got off my rump and started hauling in my net.

6 - Discord's Fang

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I was panting and sweaty when we reached the base of the cliff trail and crunched our way across the pebble beach.

Something in Mayree's heavy sack dug into my withers and I shrugged my shoulders to try to shift it away from my neck. It was nothing a tough earth pony stud couldn't handle, but I'd be glad to unload whatever was in the heavy sack.

Felt like a suit of armour.

"I want to go south west this time", Mayree said as we walked along the creaking dock. "Stick close to the coast and anchor off… What's was it called? Discord's Tooth?"

"The Fang? Why in Celestia's name do you want to get anywhere near that?" I crouched to slide the bag off of my back and it landed on my sloop's deck with a thump and clang.

Mayree jumped forward to catch it even though it was too late. "Hey! Careful with that."

"Sorry."

I swiped tangles of black mane out of my eyes. "Why there?" I repeated.

She unzipped the sack and pulled out a pair of goggles that looked like something a Wonderbolt might wear. She waved them at me and said, "With these on I can see underwater and I heard there's a wreck there. I want to have a look."

I remember that night.

A feral storm too powerful for the weather ponies to deal with blew in from the South Luna Ocean and everypony battened the hatches, hunkered down, and prayed to the princesses. It must have worked because the only casualties were shingles, windows that hadn't been boarded over, a cloud house that wasn't tethered, and the crew of Lucky's Hoard. They never made it to the safety of Smile Harbour.

Frowning I told her, "I'm not helping you desecrate a grave."

"Aww… Come on! I won't touch anything. I just want to have a look."

I frowned at the pleading expression she gave me. I'd resisted puppy-dog-eyes from adorable foals and Mayree's mouth was so small it barely qualified as pouting. But the boat charter bits were too tempting, so I sighed and relented. "Alright, but no 'recovering lost artifacts' — I hate that Daring Do strudel."

"I won't. I already said I wouldn't."

"Fine." I wasn't happy to be going, but set about untying and ponied the oars to row us out to the breakwater.

Shortly after sunrise I spied Sun Squall waving to us from the tip of Discord's Fang. A large blinking lightstone on its peak flashed her red and orange. She must have spotted us sailing there or more likely Mayree had told her where we were going. I anchored well away from the jagged rocks lurking beneath the surface and Sun Squall swooped down to help Mayree struggle into a tight-fitting black skin. It almost completely covered her, leaving just her pink face, hands, and paws sticking out.

"What on Equestria's green turf are these?" I asked while lightly clinking a hoof against the pair of metal cylinders that had been in Mayree's bag. No wonder it was so muffin heavy!

"Air tanks", she said while pulling a broad and thin shoe of flexible black material over her paw. They reminded me of sailfish fins. She pressed a muzzle mask over her blunt face, twisted a knob on the tank, and inhaled as it hissed. "Ahh… A breath of home."

Odd, wasn't this her home?

Mayree set the tanks on a locker and struggled into shoulder straps attached to them while Sun Squall and I held them steady. She shuffled awkwardly to the port rail and sat with her back to the waves.

"I'll be a half hour or so", she said in a nasal tone after slipping the goggles over her eyes and nose.

"Be careful of the rocks", I warned as she pushed the mask into her mouth. She clenched her hand and jabbed a hooked feeler upwards at me, leaned back, and tumbled over the side.

I rushed over, put my hooves up on the rail, and peered down into the greenish waves. A white froth of bubbles made it almost impossible to see her long black-suited body as she swam away from my boat. A tube jutting out the back of her head broke surface and blew a spray of water, just like a dolphin.

"I'll keep an eye on her." Sun Squall flew out over the swells and hovered over Mayree.

Not that there was much either of us could do if she was in trouble. We're not blintzing seaponies! I'd sink like a rock if I took off my cork vest. Mayree swam along the edge of Discord's Teeth, the sharp rocks that lurked beneath the waves, and dove completely under a few times. My only clue to her whereabouts was Sun Squall keeping watch.

It was a relief when she slowly flew back to me and one of Mayree's hands shot out to grab the port rail.

"Well that was disappointing", she griped the moment she took the mask off her muzzle.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, nothing but busted up planks and tangled ropes."

I nodded and asked, "What did you expect? The Teeth have chewed on that wreck for a few years." I went to haul up my anchor, eager to get away from this haunted place.

"Right, let's get back to port then."

"Aww…" Mayree whined. "It's not even close to lunchtime yet and I have at least half a tank left. Is there anywhere else worth diving around here?"

"How about the Cathedral?" Sun Squall chirped.

I shook my head. "I'm not dropping anchor near that death trap."

"The Crystal Reefs? There are lots of pretty fish there, Mayree."

I kept shaking my head. "It's a day's sail west and it'd be dark before we arrive. Navigating reefs by starlight might sound romantic but it's a quick trip to the bottom if you make a mistake."

Mayree would have to pay me for another day too.

Sun Squall hummed in annoyance while fluffing her wings. "I forgot how slow you land ponies are. Wait! That's it! How about the seapony cave? It's right by the harbour."

A chill ran down my spine and the fur at the nape of my neck stood on end.

"Seaponies? They're real?" Mayree unbuckled the tank straps and left them leaning against the rail. While she struggled to get one of the odd paw covers off she said, "I saw design sketches of them around the studio, but then the Gate opened and everything went kind of crazy. I doubt they'll ever finish the мοvιε now."

I smoothed my neck fur and said, "Some ponies claim they exist but I've been sailing since I was a colt and I've never seen one."

Mayree frowned. "So there aren't any living in this cave?"

"No."

Sun Squall poked me with a wing. "Yeah, but there might have been! My great-uncle said he saw one playing in the surf when he was building a sand castle."

Mayree's skin-tight black suit creaked as she stood up. "A sand beach? That'd be worth the trip even if there's no seaponies. Let's go!"

So we went. I didn't want to, but it was Mayree's bit.

Craggy cliffs loomed on three side as I ponied the tiller and tacked us right up onto the small beach. My sloop's bow ground on sand and I quickly threw the stern anchor overboard. It should keep the gentle waves from turning her sideways and I could back us out with the oars if Mayree and Sun Squall pushed us off.

"Wow", breathed Mayree as she craned her head back to gaze up the cliffs. "This place seems so isolated, but we're pretty close to town aren't we? I'm surprised there's nopony down here enjoying the beach."

I jabbed a hoof up where Sun Squall was gliding, taking advantage of the breeze blowing up the cliff face. "Your house is just up there, but there's no path down so you can't get here except by air or sea." And most ponies with wings or boats had better things to do than laze about on a beach. Even the foals were in school at this time of day.

"Nice! Looks like we have the place to ourselves then", she said before laughing and jumping over the side. She waded ashore and turned around to find me still standing on board. "Come on, Mainstay!"

I grunted, put my hooves up on the rail, and stared down at the foaming surf. I hadn't been back here in years and it still made my guts churn. I jumped in, splashed ashore, and followed Mayree onto the soft golden brown sand. Its dry sun-warmed scent and the way it clung to my wet hooves and tail brought back memories of carefree days. Nothing had changed since I played here as a foal and the looming cliffs made me feel small.

Insignificant.

"Hey, Squall!" Mayree yelled with her hands cupped around her mouth. "Feel like getting us a few beers from my house?"

"Sure thing!"

Sun Squall disappeared over the cliff edge and I grumbled, "I hope you're not going to drink before you swim."

Mayree's hand moved towards my head and I shied away. Was she trying to mess with my mane?

She laughed and shook her head, "No, I'm not stupid. It's for after I get back. Where is it, anyway?"

I jabbed a hoof at the south cliff. "Please be careful and don't go swimming into it."

"I won't." She made a sad little snort with her tiny nose and said, "Like I said, I'm not stupid or suicidal. Now help me put my gear on."

A while later Sun Squall flew down with a basket in her mouth as Mayree waddled out to sea in her ridiculous shoes. Sun Squall had made a few snacks to go with the beer and we put it in the shade of a rock while we waited.

And waited.

"Quit pacing, Mainstay. You're going to wear a hole in the beach." Sun Squall patted wet sand onto the lumpy cone she'd piled on the damp foreshore. "Come help me make a castle. You can dig the moat."

"What is she doing?" I grumbled while staring hard at the south cliff. "She can't have had that much air left."

She snorted at me. "You're such a worrypus! Relax. She was super-careful at the Teeth and I'm sure she's fine. Now get your tail over here and help me finish building our castle!"

"Our castle?"

"I'm happy to share!" She grinned at me but for once her joy wasn't contagious.

My skin twitched with irritation, like flies were landing on me, and I wanted, needed, to get back on my sloop and sail far away from this rotten place! Where was Mayree?! I should never have brought them here. I sucked on my lower lip, stared hard at the cliffs, and wondered if there was anypony in town who could go in after her. Anemone and Coral were the best swimmers but even they couldn't dive down to the cave entrance. Chill Breeze had those air spells he used to make ice — could he make a bubble around his head, like Mayree's tanks? No, he didn't swim. We might have to-

I barely managed to shut my eyes before a wave of cold salt water hit me in the face!

Spluttering I gasped at Sun Squall, "W-what the muffin?"

She scooped another wingful of water at me and yelled, "Stop ignoring me!"

Prancing out of the way I only got half soaked.

"I'm not ignoring you!" I shouted at she flung another wave at me. I dodged onto the foreshore, where the wet sand was better for traction and surf boiled around my hocks. "I'm just worried about-"

"Mayree! I know, and that's sweet, but you should have more confidence in her. She's having fun and you're missing out! You're on a beautiful beach on a gorgeous day and a pretty mare wants to play with you, you dope!" She growled, crouched, and waggled her hindquarters in the air like a feral cat.

"But-"

"Rarrgh!"

She chased me up the beach, trying to nip at my tail. My sour mood fled from her glee and I found myself laughing as we splashed around in the surf like foals half our age. Sun Squall's wings gave her an advantage as our water fight raged from one end of the beach to the other and back again. At least she played fair and didn't fly away as I tackled her into the sea. I was heavier and stronger so it was only going to end one way.

"Ha ha hee! I give! I give!" she laughed and squealed while frantically tapping out on the wet sand.

Flushed and panting I gave her one last tickle before letting her go and rolling onto my back next to her. The waves broke over our tail-ends, helping cool us as I caught my breath while squinting at the bright sky.

Sun Squall's breathy giggles settled down. She suddenly wrapped a wing around my chest, pulled herself close, and stuffed her muzzle into my ear to whisper, "Thanks."

"Hay!" I laughed and flailed my legs.

She clung on, giggling as I struggled onto my belly. I rolled my eyes and nuzzled her cheek.

"I should be thanking you, you silly filly."

"Mmm", she hummed while returning my nuzzle. "Okay, but that was fun for me too and it felt good to use my special talent."

She arched her back, stuck her rump up in the air, and waggled her cutie mark: a white gift box with a blue ribbon tied around it. Her talent was knowing what somepony needed to make them happy — not what they said they wanted but what they really needed. She loved giving the perfect gift to put a smile on somepony's muzzle, even if it was just lending a hoof or bugging some stupid colt into having fun when he was being a grouch. She did a lot of public-service jobs for the town hall and I'd bet on everypony voting for her if she ever ran for mayor… I would.

"Plus I got to tussle on a romantic beach with a hot stud", she said with a smug smile.

I snorted and pushed her face away with a sandy hoof. "A sweaty stud, you mean."

She wiggled against me and moaned, "Ohhh, sweet Celestia! Take me! Make me your mare, you sexy beast!"

I'd more-or-less been in a position to 'take her' when I tickle-tackled her… so much for it being an innocent game. My ears burned and I stood up, slipping out from under her wing.

"Aww. You're getting all uptight again."

"I… Umm…" Searching for something to distract her, I looked around the sheltered cove with my brows furrowed and asked, "Where's Mayree?"

Sun Squall's exaggerated pout turned into a worried frown that matched mine. "Want me to fly over and have a look?"

"What are you going to see? If she went into that blintzing cave you won't see nothing."

"I'm sure she's okay?" Her voice quavered uncertainly. "Maybe I should fly into town and alert the Coast Guard?"

I bit my lip. The princesses would have our hides if one of the few precious humans they'd invited to live in Equestria was hurt… or worse. We had better tell the Guard. Even if they could only dragonfire a scroll to Princess Luna, she might come storming to Smile Harbour to rescue a friend.

And swat me like a bug.

"Yes, I think you should- No, wait!" I spotted a spray of water as Mayree surfaced near the beach. I sprang into a gallop, kicking sand flying. "There she is!"

Sun Squall flew and beat me to her as she flopped onto her back and ripped the mask off her muzzle. She gasped and panted as I danced nervously on the wet sand.

"Thank the stars!"

"What happened?"

"Why were you gone for so long?"

"Mayree?"

I yelled, "Say something!"

Mayree gasped out a laugh at us and sat up. "Calm down! Jεsμs, let me catch my breath." She pulled the goggles off of her face and it left a dark outline in her soft skin.

Sun Squall dropped onto the sand and wrapped her fores around Mayree's slender belly. "We were worried about you", she mumbled with her muzzle pressed under Mayree's teats, pushing them up under the water-slick black suit.

Mayree petted her and cooed, "Sorry, Squall. It's okay, I'm alright." She cocked a fuzzy eyebrow at me and asked, "Was he worried too?"

Sun Squall snickered. "Pacing like a sire at the birth of his first foal."

"I did not."

"Did too!"

I snorted angrily and pointed an accusing hoof. "Well it's her fault for being gone for so long!" I glared at Mayree and asked, "You went into the blintzing cave, didn't you?"

She hunched over and admitted nothing.

"You did!" I waved my hooves in the air and raved, "Sweet Celestia's mercy! You stupid mare! What the baked bads were you-"

"sнμτ μρ!" she barked at me. "Shut up, you grouchy muffin-head! I peeked inside and saw light and an air pocket so, yeah, I went in and had a look around. Alright?"

It was far from alright but I was curious as catfish; nopony had ever been in the seapony cave! I dug a hoof in the sand and reluctantly asked, "So, what was in there?"

"Were there seaponies? Did you make friends?" asked Sun Squall while cuddling up against her side.

"Heh, no. There was nopony there, but it looked like there once was." My ears quivered but couldn't perk any higher. "There's a little beach and a skylight in the cave's roof. I found a bunch of primitive tools and an old basket woven out of seaweed or something. Lots of fish bones and-", she unzipped the front of her suit and pulled a white sphere the size of a line float from between her teats, "-this!"

"Put it back!" My ears snapped flat and I backed away a few steps. Even in the bright sunlight I could see its heart glowed with magic.

"What? ƒμςκ τнατ! Are you stupid or something? It's a gοδδαм pearl as big as my eyeball!" Mayree snorted and slipped it back in her suit, "I'm keeping it."

I moaned and tucked my tail tight. "You shouldn't mess with seapony magic."

She shrugged and started working one of her paw covers loose. "I'm not worried. Hey, did you get the beer? I could really go for one right now."

"Yep!" Sun Squall pranced away to fetch the basket.

I sat and nibbled on my lower lip. I had to ask. I had to know.

"D-did you see anything else?"

She hummed and waved her paw cover in the surf to rinse sand off. "Well, there was a mound of, I guess, land pony junk in one corner. A torn fish net, an umbrella, a water-damaged painting of some captain pony, and a deflated ball. Quite the beach combers those seaponies."

I sniffled and she looked up at me. "Something wrong?"

A couple of swipes from a fore across my eyes cleared away the evidence and I choked out, "N-no, it's nothing."

"Okaaay."

"The ball… Was it white with red stripes?"

She nodded slowly and said, "Yeaaah, why? Was it yours?"

"I said it's nothing." I lurched to my hooves and staggered towards a blanket Sun Squall had laid on the sand. "Come on, let's get you that beer."

I needed one too.

7 - The Letter

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I patted The Hump for luck and skipped to my little shack.

Renting out my sloop meant I could eat like a normal pony, for a while anyway, and my saddlebags bulged with two weeks' worth of vegetables from the market. I'd picked up some extra carrots and potatoes to give Mayree as a thank you gift.

Sun Squall talked me into giving her flowers, a traditional human gift, or so she claimed. But Mayree had given me a weird look and stuck the bundle of delicious fresh Daises, Dandelions, and Foal's Breath into a vase to rot.

What a waste.

No, nothing said 'thank you' like good, honest root veg.

I dumped the heavy bags in my crowded kitchen slash living room slash bedroom and nosed open a flap to lip out the letter. I hopped on my bed and settled down with it between my hooves but didn't rip it open right away. It had been almost two weeks since I'd written to mom about our day on the seapony beach. We'd never exchanged letters before and it was lucky that our post office had her Manehattan address or I'd never have known where to send it.

Holding my breath I carefully tore off one end.

My letter fell out. Still sealed. She hadn't even bothered to read it.

Well, what had I expected? I'd hoped…

Grimacing, I threw the torn envelope away and a scrap of folded paper fluttered out. I snatched it up and the words scrawled inside broke me.

Hours or minutes later somepony pounded at my shack's door.

"Mainstay!" Sun Squall called. "Mainstay, we're coming in!"

I blubbered nonsense. Pleaded for her to go away or come in or just do something, anything to stop the pain! My head swam and I couldn't put two thoughts together. The setting sun blazed through the door and I tried to curl up in a miserable ball to hide but Sun Squall wouldn't let me. She scooped me up between her fores and wings and I clung to her like a drowning sailor clutches at flotsam.

"jεsμs", cursed Mayree as she knelt next to my bed. "What the нεℓℓ happened?"

I couldn't speak around the hoof in my throat. Hot tears boiled from my eyes and soaked Sun Squall's fur.

Something cool and hard touched my withers and I peeked between orange feathers as Mayree wrapped her long fores around us and hugged us to her soft teats. She pressed her lips between my ears and made soothing shushing noises like a mother comforting her foal.

Agony swelled and burst inside me! Sun Squall squeaked as I clutched at her, buried my muzzle in her warm fur, and howled my throat raw.

Even the worst storm will finally blow itself out.

Sniffling and panting I untangled myself from them and flopped on my back with my legs going everywhere. I rubbed my nose with a fore that prickled with pins-and-needles and smeared snot into my fur.

"What happened?" Mayree whispered while Sun Squall brushed tangled mane out of my eyes and gave me a timid smile.

My throat burned and if I tried to speak I'd just blubber like a foal, so I unclenched my fore and gave the crumpled note to Sun Squall. I shut my eyes while she read and tried to take slow breaths.

Sun Squall gasped, "Oh, no! Mainstay, I'm so sorry."

"What? What happened?" The bed shifted as Mayree leaned forward to look over Sun Squall's shoulder. "I can't read that chicken scratch."

"It says… It says that-"

"My mother is dead", I croaked and rolled onto my side, away from them.

"Oh." The bed shifted again as Mayree sat back. "I'm sorry for your loss, Mainstay… Does it say what happened?"

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Sun Squall slowly shook her head while reading the short note again. "No, just the postmare's condolences and that she passed away on the second day after new moon, month of Grain Harvest, fourteen-hundred and three." She set the crumpled note down and whispered, "Almost two years ago."

"Two years?!" The disbelief in Mayree's voice turned to anger. "Why didn't somepony contact you when it happened?!"

"She wouldn't have told anypony about me." I drew a shuddering breath and admitted, "She disowned me before she left."

"Disowned you? Why would your mother disown you?" Mayree sounded angry and maybe a little frightened. What rumours had she heard about me?

I grunted and tugged a fold of blanket over my muzzle. I closed my eyes and nuzzled into the smelly wool but I could feel them watching me, worried and judging.

"Could we not talk about this right now?"

Mayree cleared her throat and said, "Of course. Uh, this isn't a good time is it?"

I grumbled, "No, sorry."

"You've got nothing to apologise for, Mainstay." Sun Squall leaned over me and kissed my damp cheek. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll live, thanks." That came out wrong. I raised my aching head and earnestly told them, "No, really. Thank you for coming over but I'll get by." No I wouldn't.

"It's what friends are for", said Mayree and she hesitantly stretched out a fore and rested her hand on my side. It was cool and surprisingly soft for something so bone-y.

Sun Squall nuzzled my cheek and I couldn't help smiling a little even as tears oozed from my eyes. Through gratitude and shame I could feel another storm brewing inside me, waiting to break once they left.

Mayree patted me and said, "Come over to my place. You shouldn't be alone and I've got a huge eggplant casserole in the oven. More than enough for all of us."

My rebellious tummy rumbled its approval beneath her petting hand but I hesitated, sniffled, and rubbed at my muzzle.

"Come on", Sun Squall prodded me with a wing. "Up on your hooves. It's only a short walk and it's that or I'm staying here with you. She's right, you really shouldn't be on your own."

I rolled onto my belly and stood up. My everything ached after, what, only half an hour of bawling my eyes out? I hadn't felt this rough since that typhoon off the coast of New Zeebland.

Stallions weren't tough enough for this kind of pain.

Mayree led the way while Sun Squall stuck by my side with a wing draped over my back. It should have been pouring rain from a lightning shattered sky of black cloud, but it was a typical late summer evening. A refreshing sea breeze whispered through the grass and wild flowers, birds squalked as they settled down for the night, crickets chirped, and sunset turned everything the colour of warm marmalade. Once inside, a delicious scent of eggplant and cheese baking raised my mood, as did the beer Mayree pressed into my hooves. She folded her long hinds one over the other, tucked them under the table, and we dined off princess-grade plates.

The mares talked in hushed, subdued tones and I pretended not to notice the worried looks they cast my way. Even following their conversation was too much effort but good food and drink helped me relax a bit, on the outside anyway, like a loose skin wrapped around a hard kernel.

After tongue-polishing my plate I sat back and stared blankly at the tracery of gold lines on its rim. Mayree's graceful hand took it away, breaking me free from a dark mood that threatened to overwhelm me again.

"Help me get a fire going?" asked Sun Squall hopefully.

I nodded and followed her to the fireplace while Mayree cleared away the dishes.

With dry grass, twigs, a couple of medium-sized logs, and a fancy magical fire-starter wand we soon had a cheerful blaze. Sun Squall and I found seats on the couch. It wasn't the one from my foalhood, that old relic was long gone, but the fireplace was the same aside from different framed pictures and keepsakes on the mantle. Gazing into the flames made me nostalgic.

Memories of my family and that innocent foal I used to be soon had tears running down my cheeks, but not the soul wracking misery from before. Quiet sobbing. Sun Squall snuggled up against my side and Mayree joined us a few minutes later, bringing a handful of soft cloths. She started to dab at my cheek but I grunted, took the cloth from her and roughly wiped my face dry.

Sun Squall shoved me and I slumped against Mayree's side. She wrapped a long fore around both of us and I was trapped between them. Nopony said anything. I drew a shuddering breath and tried to relax.

I fell asleep with my head across Mayree's thighs while she scratched behind my ears.

8 - Pink Lace

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Dreamless slumber bled into warmth and ruddy light as my eyes squinted open. Sun Squall was cuddled up beside me, fast asleep with her muzzle tucked under mine, and a blanket was draped over us. A bed of glowing embers heated my other flank. I lay still for a while, listening to Sun Squall's slow breaths, and the odd snap and crackle from the fireplace.

I needed to go, so I eased myself off the couch and quietly walked to the front door. Sun Squall snortled and smacked her lips but slept through my escape.

Stars twinkled and reflected off a mirror-smooth sea as I hoofed it to the outhouse. It was a beautiful calm night and I felt strangely peaceful and relaxed — drained. Even more drained as I walked back. Should I return to Mayree's and a warm bed next to Sun Squall or just scuttle to my cold shack? A routine day of firing up the stove, porridge for breakfast, and a morning of hard labour, alone on my beloved sloop, might keep my low mood at bay.

I wasn't sure I could face Mayree and Sun Squall after how pathetic and needy I'd been yesterday.

Shame won out and I'd started toward my shack when I noticed Mayree standing on her porch. A tall silhouette in a long shapeless nightdress against the dim glow from her living room window.

"Good morning", I said while joining her. My throat felt sore and raw.

She covered her mouth with a hand as she yawned. "You call this morning?"

I chuckled and said, "You know I'm usually up and out to sea by now. Why are you awake?"

"Mmf… I couldn't get to sleep." She rested her hand on my head, behind my ears, and I hardly felt any urge to shy away. "This is going to sound mushy, but I was worried about you."

I snorted and asked, "Worried about me or worried about me in your home?"

Her grip tightened in my hair and she admitted, "A bit of both."

"What did you hear about me?"

She shrugged and went back to stroking my mane. "Somepony in the pub said she'd heard that you killed a foal and another said she'd heard it too so there must be some truth to it. Then some loon shouted that they were both liars and idiots." She chuckled and tugged on one of my ears, "That was Squall, by the way. I think she likes you."

I made a noncommittal snort.

"It sounded like a load of cupcakes to me. You're nice, if kind of grumpy, and there are a lot of stupid rumours. Like, when I moved here there was one going around that I lured foals over here to cook them for supper."

"You don't, do you?"

I snickered as she smacked the back of my head.

There was a quick streak of white as a star fell, but I didn't bother making a wish.

"So… What really happened? Why did your mom leave?"

I glanced up at her face, though it was hidden in the shadow of her amazing bed-mane. "I'll tell you over breakfast. Squall should hear it too and I don't want to tell it twice."

She snorted and said, "You're assuming I'll make you breakfast?"

"I can cook." If you like porridge.

"No, I'll do it. You wouldn't be able to reach the stove." She stretched her fores over her head and I heard her yawn and a pop from her back. "I'm going to put coffee on and grab a shower."

I watched her go inside and wondered what 'grabbing a shower' meant. A pegasus could fly up and corral a cloud but humans couldn't fly. Could they? Maybe she had a tamed cloud in one of the rooms? I shrugged and stargazed until they faded into a lightening sky.

Breakfast was toast and scrambled eggs. Mayree fried strips of something fatty that smelled horrible and rancid, but she certainly enjoyed eating it.

Probably meat.

Best not to ask.

Her delicious coffee had Sun Squall buzzing in her seat and constantly fluffing her wings. If I was going to tell them I'd better do it now because she wouldn't sit still for much longer.

Or maybe I could not tell them?

Was that an option any more?

My exquisite cup clinked on its saucer and I cleared my throat to get their attention.

"It happened when I was a little colt, just after I got my cutie mark. My band lived in this house and-"

"You did?" asked Sun Squall. "I thought it was your cousin's place."

I nodded and said, "It belonged to my cousin before Mayree, but my parent's band lived here before that — this was years and years before you moved to Smile Harbour." I had a sudden idea and told them, "Hang on a moment…"

They gave me puzzled looks as I ducked out the front door to quickly trot to my shack. When I returned I had a treasured old black-and-white photo in my lips, which I carefully set on the table between them.

"So, that's my sire, Weigh Anchor", I pointed to the burly dark-furred earth pony with a studly short beard on his square jaw. The photo was taken in their bedroom, now Mayree's, with all of us clustered around my parent's old cast iron bed. It didn't do dad justice, or maybe it was just a colt's fading memories that made him seem smaller and less heroic in the wrinkled photo.

I pointed a hoof at the delicate, spotty-coated unicorn mare laying propped up against pillows with a swaddled newborn foal held in her fores. "My mother, Berry Fizz, I got my dapples from her, and their wife-" I moved my hoof to point to the tall, sleek pegasus standing on the other side of the bed.

"Your father had two wives?" Mayree stared at me while her fuzzy-caterpillar eyebrows climbed halfway up her forehead.

I blinked at her.

What was she so surprised about?

"Sort of? My sire and mother married and later they married Silver Lining."

"jεsμs, we didn't write anything like that in the show. The parents would have flipped their sнιτ! Maybe some fan stories did leak into this place after all."

I tapped a hoof on the table, "Or this place inspired some of your fan story writers?"

"Same difference."

"My point exactly. Anyway, I also had a little sister-", I pointed at mom and her newborn, "-Pink Lace. She was-", I choked for a moment and forced it out, "Was a beautiful little filly. Bright, sweet natured, and always asking me questions about everything. If I didn't know the answer I'd make up a silly story to entertain her.

"If our sire was my hero then I was hers."

"And that's you?" asked Sun Squall while pointing at the slightly blurry colt by dad's hooves.

I had a huge grin in the picture and they'd had a hard time making me sit still long enough to take it.

"Yes."

"Oh my stars! You were a real cutie", Sun Squall cooed.

I felt a blush creep up my ears and snatched up the photo. While they both had a good giggle I walked back around the table to sit down.

After a last look I carefully set my photo aside and said, "We weren't rich, but we got by. Like me, my sire reaped the sea to put food on the table. He'd take me out with the other fisherponies to teach me where the best grounds were and what bait or net or trap to use. Mom worked in the pub and Silver Lining made a few bits foal sitting. There were always lots of other colts and fillies here to play with after work was done.

"After I got my cutie mark-", I nodded my head at the red boat with white sails on my flank, "-my sire bought me a little dinghy and I'd give rides to my friends and Pink Lace. She loved it almost as much as I did. We stuck to the harbour most days but when it was calm, like today, I'd sneak us out to play on the beach."

Sun Squall asked, "The seapony beach?"

"Yes."

I paused for a swallow of coffee but it did nothing to clear the lump from my throat.

"One day I was horsing around on the beach-", Mayree hid a smile behind her hand, "-with a couple of other colts when one of them noticed my sister was missing.

"She'd been playing with her ball in the surf.

"We called her name and frantically scoured the beach looking for her, but the waves had washed away her hoofprints and there was no sign of her. Even her ball had vanished. None of us were pegasi, so we sailed to the harbour and alerted the Coast Guard. Though they searched for days there was nothing to find.

"My parents were heartbroken, of course, and I got my rump paddled and the dinghy was taken away. None of that hurt as much as losing my sister."

Sun Squall sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, Mainstay. That must have been just awful."

I grimaced and sadly told her, "That was only the beginning."

"Oh, no! No, I don't want to hear any more!" She mantled her wings and ducked her head beneath one.

Mayree scooted back from the table and crawled around to Sun Squall's side. She looked ungainly and weird moving about on her hands and knees like that. She wrapped her fores around Sun Squall and half-pulled her into her lap.

"Go on", she said as she stroked Sun Squall's back.

I sighed and collected my thoughts. I should make this quick and as painless as possible.

"You know what this town is like with its rumours. Pretty soon stories spread that I'd drowned my sister or that she'd been taken by seaponies.

"My sire latched onto the seapony story. There are legends of them luring ships onto rocks, saving drowning sailors, and stealing foals to turn them into seaponies to raise as their own. He dreamed that Pink Lace had been taken and was still alive somewhere, living a happy life as a seapony. He asked me and the other colts if we'd seen any when she disappeared, but none of us had. He got angry, shook me, and yelled at me. I was scared and confessed that I'd seen one, even though I hadn't.

"It became an obsession for him and he argued about it with my mother. She knew I was lying and blamed me for not keeping an eye on my sister. She didn't want false hope that her little filly was still alive, just something to bury and a gravestone to mourn at.

"Silver Lining left us — hopped off the cliff and flew away to find somewhere happier to live, I guess. Nopony trusted our band to foalsit anymore, anyway."

Now for the worst part.

I glanced at the photo and dad's proud, beaming smile sent a stab of pain through my heart.

"My s-sire-" I coughed. "My sire went out with the fishing fleet one morning and as the sun rose, he took off his cork vest, and stepped overboard. I don't know if he wanted to drown or if he'd deluded himself into thinking seaponies would take him to Pink Lace. He didn't leave a note or talk to anypony about it.

"Mom sold the house to her sister, disowned me, and left.

"My aunt saved me from the Los Pegasus orphanage, but I grew up into a wild colt — I earned every screaming argument and smack upside my head. After dropping out of school I crewed aboard the town's fishing fleet until I came of age. Spent my savings and inheritance on a second-hoof sloop and sailed her all over the South Luna Ocean before dragging my salty tail home.

"The rest, you already know."

I panted through my nose as my throat finally clogged up.

Sun Squall sobbed into Mayree's chest and I felt lower than a skate's belly for making her cry. Mayree's eyes glistened with tears she had yet to shed and she held out her left fore and waved her hand in invitation.

I plodded around the table and let her draw me against her side.

I nuzzled Sun Squall and wept over poor Pink Lace.

9 - The Experiment

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"You're sure about this?" I asked Mayree for the umpteenth time.

She rolled her eyes and patted my back. "Yes, so stop asking. This room was empty anyway! I was going to use it as a library or study or something but this is better, right?" She sounded almost as unsure as I was.

Ceiling-high shelves with glass doors ran along one wall, filled with books, magazines, and scrolls. Most of the glossy spines bore unreadable titles printed in colours that were impossibly brilliant for Equestria's publishers. We'd pushed her human-sized over-stuffed lounging chair into a corner and moved a writing desk, wood chair, and a few other things to the living room. A vast oil painting of Canterlot at night with a spectacular spread of stars above it hung on another wall — probably a gift from Princess Luna. A few framed photos beside it showed gatherings of smiling humans, some old, some young, and Mayree was in most of them. One was taken on a sunny tropical beach, with a few other human mares, all wearing scraps of colourful fabric and happy grins. The right edge was ripped off, removing the human who had their fore around Mayree's back. All that was left of them was a large hairy hand gripping her shoulder.

My family photo, my only photo, was safely tucked away in a beat up old keepsake trunk made of heavy oak with wrought iron straps. The trunk and my bed, with its patched sheets and ratty wool blanket, were the only things we'd moved over from my shack. Two pieces of hobo-chic to contrast with her sleek modern furniture.

The rest of my stuff could just stay out in the shack, turning it back into a storage shed. It was very generous of Mayree to offer me a room in her comfortable home but I didn't trust that I'd be bunking here for very long.

I doubt she would let me bring over the fish to hang from her polished rafters, anyway.

"Come on, I'll show you the bathroom."

I followed her along the hall to an open door that used to lead to our pantry.

"There's no lock, so if it's closed you better blintzing-well knock first. No walking in on me squatting on the potty. Got it?"

My nose wrinkled in disgust, and I pointed at a huge gleaming white ceramic bowl and asked, "That's the potty?"

"Yeah."

I sneered and said, "I'll stick to using the outhouse."

Doing that indoors? Gross!

Mayree chuckled. "Suit yourself. I won't have to show you how to work the βιδετ then. This… is the shower." She showed me how to turn knobs on the wall to make hot and cold water to shoot out of the ceiling.

Bizarre, but muffin clever.

She nudged me towards it as steam fogged the vast mirror over the bathroom sink.

"You should have a shower."

I snorted and leaned back into her hand. "But I'm not dirty."

"Well, you smell dirty. Get in there and start scrubbing." She shoved harder, a futile battle against a stubborn earth pony stallion.

"I smell fine! It's the studly musk of a day's hard labour."

"You stink like something a whale barfed up!"

My hooves squeaked on the slippery tile floor as I tried to scoot back and she struggled to push me in. "Better than whatever mare-y glop is in those bottles!"

"Squall!" she yelled.

"What?!"

"Come help me get this ƒιℓτнλ βμм into the shower!"

Sun Squall cackled and sang, "I'll be right there!"

I whinnied and scrambled into the shower stall. Willing surrender was less embarrassing than shameful defeat!

"Ah ha! Now I know what your button is, mister." Mayree clapped her hands and bared her fangs at me. "Scrub hard because if you come out of here stinking we're going to throw you right back in again."

She closed the door as wet mane drooped over my moping face. Oh, I'd come out of here stinking alright.

Stinking like a princess.

The obscenely floral shampoo didn't foam very well the first time I used it. Or the second. A third round of scrubbing myself from ears to hoof sent wads of suds all over the shower floor, and by then the water had turned cold. Shivering, I dried myself with the wonderfully fluffy towels and sniffed my fore pits. Nothing but bouquet. Fabulous. I reached for the combs and swore my way through an entire bakery with all the tangles and knots I had to work out. The sea does terrible things to a pony's mane and tail, and mine were mostly split ends before Mayree's fancy Zebrican mane manager worked its magic. At least half a pound of long black hair ended up in the waste bin.

I posed before the mirror and had to admit that I looked much better — more like a pop star on a bender than a hobo without two bits to rub together. Smile Harbour had a public baths and a grooming salon but I hadn't seen the inside of them in far too many months. It cost a lot of bits getting fancy and it only lasted until the next day of hauling food from the briny deep.

Hardly seemed worth it.

My damp hide shivered in the hall's cool air. A rhythmic ticking came from the living room, sounding like a bird rapping its beak on one of the windows — tick, clack, tick, tick. A sharp bell rang and my ears flicked back at a loud ratcheting noise.

Sun Squall sat the dining table reading a glossy human magazine. Only her ears turned to me as I walked from the hall carpet and clip clopped over the living room's polished hickory boards.

Mayree sat on a tall chair in front of a porch window. The racket came from a black machine sitting on the human-height desk as she caressed and prodded it with her hands. She glanced at me as I settled on my haunches next to her. Her feelers stabbed the keys and little insect-like legs inside the machine flicked up and down. A bright ting and she grabbed a mirror-surfaced leg and slammed the roller on top to the other side, making the scroll wrapped around it shake. I'd heard of typewriters but hadn't seen one before.

I was surprised and kind of pleased to see her writing since she'd seemed so down in the mouth about it before. Was she inspired to write another foal's tale? I craned my head to look, but it wasn't in the Equestrian alphabet.

I asked, "What are you-"

CLACK!

"Muffins!" Mayree squinted at the typewriter and reached inside to wiggle a couple the letter-legs that were locked together. She sighed and looked out the corner of her eye at me while frowning. "Do you mind? It's hard enough having to type slowly so this clunky thing doesn't jam all the time."

That was slow? I was amazed she could think of words to bang out at that rate!

"Sorry."

She sat back and rubbed at her eyes. "Okay, well, never mind. I should take a break, anyway." She reached down to run her feelers through my damp mane and scratched behind my ears. "Hey, get those ears up, I'm not really mad at you. What were you going to ask?"

My ears did perk up at the caress of her blunt claws. It felt like being nuzzled and nibbled by two or three pretty mares — no wonder Sun Squall enjoyed being groomed by her. I pressed my head against her hand, making a happy chuff as warmth spread through me.

Distracted and a little embarrassed, I waved a vague hoof at the typewriter and asked, "I was wondering what you're writing."

"A bio for Twiggles."

I blinked. That almost sounded like an Equestrian word. "What's a byofurtweegles?"

She snickered and said, "A short piece about my life for Twilight Sparkles."

"Ohhh." That made a lot more sense.

"Yeah, she's asked everypony involved in the show for an autobiography and an essay about our experience working on it. She's researching a new experiment because her first one failed."

"What experiment?"

She shrugged. "I don't know the details but-"

My drying mane ruffled in a gust just before Sun Squall ploughed into me. "Hi, Mainstay!" She stuffed her muzzle in my mane, inhaled deeply, and cooed, "Mmm… You smell great!"

I blushed as she snuffled at my neck fur while Mayree scratched behind my ears.

There was some compensation for all the scrubbing after all.

"So we don't have to throw him back?" asked Mayree. She sat back, laced her feelers together, and stretched her fores. Her hand joints popped like a string of fireworks going off.

"Nope! Mare approved."

I laughed and struggled to push Sun Squall away. "I'm not surprised you like me this way. I reek like a filly on her wedding day!"

So much for grabbing an ale in the pub tonight — the other stallions would laugh their tails off. Nothing a roll in the grass and a morning of catching nasty sea critters wouldn't fix.

"Mmmmm…", Squall hummed while nibbling my ear. "Mare and stud in one package? Who could resist?!"

Mayree laughed and said, "You two are too cute. I'm getting cavities here!"

"Marry me you hot hunk of filly-stud!"

"Pfft!" I shoved Sun Squall away and swatted her flank with my tail.

Mayree held up a hand and made a spinning motion. She said, "Turn around a few times so we can get a good look at you, now that your stinky crust is gone."

I grumbled, "I wasn't dirty." Greasy is not dirty.

"Sure, sure. Spin please."

I rolled my eyes and slowly walked in a circle while Mayree and Sun Squall watched as if I were a fashion pony on parade. Had to admit, my spotty-grey hide did have a nice shimmer to it and my ragged mane flowed like ebony silk. I picked up my hooves, hiked my tail, and puffed out my chest.

Sun Squall whistled and called, "Woo woo! Shake that bit maker."

I jolted to a halt. My ears snapped back, and I dropped my head to snort at her. "Oh, come on! Cut that strudel out!"

Mayree leaned forward in her chair and stared at my hooves.

I glared at her. "What?!"

She moaned, "Unshorn fetlocks. Ffff…"

My face burned as they howled with laughter. I stalked past Sun Squall, angrily flicking my tail, and with great dignity I said, "If anypony needs me I'll be in my room."

A Canterlot noble would envy my restraint and bearing.

Mayree laughed and called, "Get back here you drama prince. How can I tell you about the experiment if you go sulk in your room?"

"Ohhh, they ran a story about it in the Los Pegasus Sun a couple of days ago!" chirped Sun Squall.

Mayree said, "You probably know more than me then."

"Okay, well, apparently Princess Sparkle had already planned this experiment when she and her friends got in touch with the αмεяιςαη government for the first time. Before Equestria and the Gate became news, they secretly hired a bunch of humans who'd worked on the show and hid them in some super-remote place to keep them from finding out about us."

"Huh", Mayree grunted. "My parents and brother were visited by government spooks while I was in τнαιℓαηδ. Guess I wasn't important enough to track down."

"Sorry, Mayree." Sun Squall pouted and nuzzled her hind.

She shrugged and petted her mane. "Eh, doesn't matter. I only wrote a couple of comics and those Lulu episodes. Go on."

"Okay. Well, they made a new episode while Twilight secretly cast a bunch of spells to try to figure out how your stories were connected to us. But nothing happened and the new story didn't come true over here. So, she figures that whatever linked Earth to Equestria was probably broken when the Gate opened."

Mayree sucked in a sharp breath.

I asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded and bared her fangs in a smile. "Yes! Yes, that's great news! It means no one can mess with you by making new episodes."

Sun Squall chirped, "I'd love it if you wrote me one. You could have me go on an adventure and save Equestria!"

"But if I wrote about you saving Equestria it'd have to need saving, right?" Mayree cast a guilty look my way and said, "I'm never writing something like that again. It was bad enough when we were just making a foal's show, but now that we know it was happening…" She shuddered and turned back to her typewriter. "Anyway, I should finish this before Twi sends me another-"

A scroll appeared over her desk in a burst of green dragonfire and made a hollow rattle as it landed.

Mayree picked it up, sighed, and asked, "You guys want to go into town later and hit the pub for supper?"

Squall nodded. "Okay."

"The pub?" I asked, trying not to sound nervous. "Right, well, I'm just going to step out for a bit. I'll be back!"

I scampered outside before either of them could object and galloped into the hills to work up a studly sweat.

If I was lucky, I might find some mud to roll in.

10 - Crystal Reefs

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Chill Wave leaned casually against the sheet-metal siding of the ice shed and winked at me. "Hey, lucky colt. Word is you shacked up with that human mare, huh?"

"Yes?" I reluctantly replied. I knew where this was going, but how long would it would take to get there?

"You mounting that?"

Not long at all.

"No." I kept my voice flat and my ears up. Tongues were no doubt wagging all over town and I wouldn't do anything to make it worse — like by screaming denials at this creep.

"Aww, ain't nothing wrong with a little strange." Wave waggled his eyebrows at me and I gave him a dose of my tried-and-true grumpy face.

A quiet hiss and chime of magic came from inside the shed as his less-annoying twin actually worked for a living, instead of loafing around, getting on my nerves. He'd better finish soon or his brother was going to be picking up his teeth from the deck! Blind to my anger, Wave gazed down the pier at my sloop, where Mayree and Sun Squall were busy stowing their gear.

"Maybe you're not horny enough for a Canterlot lady, huh? Think she'd go for a handsome unicorn stud?" He ran a hoof over his spiky purple mane, slicking it back as his slimy tongue darted over his lips.

I couldn't hold back from sneered at him. "I guess we'll never know since there aren't any in Smile Harbour."

He laughed and slugged my shoulder. "Oooh, harsh burn, dude!"

Chill Breeze trotted out with Mayree's air tanks floating beside him, just in time to save his twin from getting tossed in the harbour. "Please excuse my horndog brother. He'd jump a shark if he could keep it from biting him."

"I would not! Not unless it was a nurse shark… I dig fillies in uniform." The idiot smacked his lips and actually sounded proud of his disgusting perversion.

Making a point of ignoring him, I inspected the tanks and tapped the pressure gauge to make its needle twitch. "Looks like a full charge. Thank you."

Breeze smiled in a much more genuine way than his brother could ever manage and said, "It wasn't easy but, yeah, I got her done. The gaseous concentration and fractional distillation spells are a breeze, heh, but I couldn't have ported it into the tanks without that scroll Mayree gave me." He pranced, making the deck creak beneath his hooves. "Can't believe I cast a spell written specially by thee Twilight Sparkle! Princess of muffin Magic!"

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it." I fished out my bit purse to pay him, and after a moment's struggle to get the tanks on my back, I cantered away, eager to escape Wave's knowing smirk.

"Hey, you sure you don't need a load of ice for your blue balls?" he called after me.

"No, thank you!" Blintz-head.

His lurching hyena laugh followed me down the pier to my sloop.

"So I said to her, 'Oh yeah? Well, your muzzle is jammed so far up your mom's αssнοℓε that your opinions stink like her sнιτ!' And then I smacked her!" Sun Squall windmilled her fore hooves in the air while a vicious snarl twisted her pretty lips.

"Mee-ow. Squall, you catty βιτςн!" Mayree met me at the top of the gangplank and helped unload her air tanks. "Thanks, Mainstay."

"You're welcome."

She checked the gauge and popped the mask over her muzzle to take a whiff. Satisfied, she stowed it and cocked an eyebrow at me. "What was Wave yelling about?"

She hadn't heard? Thank the stars for her cute little shell-like ears. I shoved the gangplank away onto the dock and said, "Nothing worth repeating. He was just being a hay-for-brains, like usual."

She smirked and squinted at me suspiciously. "It must have been funny, he was laughing pretty hard."

Sun Squall pranced over to stick her muzzle into it. "He asked if-"

I pressed a hoof over her grinning mouth and insisted, "It. Was. Nothing! Now, if you're both ready, can we cast off already? We have to get there before nightfall."

It turned out to be a beautiful day for sailing.

A strong, steady sou-wester blew just enough cloud cover that we weren't baking in the sun for the whole voyage. I didn't even have to tack often to stay on course and we arrived sooner than I'd anticipated. The Crystal Reefs form wide subsurface lagoons across a broad sweep of the sea, and they could be dangerous if you didn't know them like the back of your hoof. I carefully tacked through the gap in a familiar almost-circular lagoon before weighing anchor to its white sandy floor. If you squinted, you could just make out a hint of green on the west horizon.

The tail-end of the Tatzlmanian island chain.

Mayree lowered her dual-spyglass from her eyes and asked, "Does anypony live there?"

"Not on that little atoll, no." I held up one of my charts and pointed it out to her, then swept my hoof along the island chain to tap on the largest one. "There are a couple of towns on Marelorca and the beaches draw a lot of tourists from the mainland."

"Don't forget the non-stop parties too", chirped Sun Squall while fluffing her wings. "It's like the Summer Sun Celebration all year round!"

Mayree bared her fangs. "Oooh, pony beach parties? We have to go there sometime."

I grimaced as I carefully stowed the chart and my sextant. She'd better not be thinking about hiring my little sloop for that journey! Oh, she could do it, barely, but my hooves trembled at the prospect of sailing back into that sea of glittering lights, brash music, and sweaty heaving bodies. I'd wasted too many bits and brains in the bars of Marelorca.

Mayree wobbly walked to the bow. "Can you help me get my sςμβα gear on, please?"

A lot of zipping and clipping later she back-sided over the port rail and porpoised off to see the wild life that lived around the glass-like reef. The Princesses had started letting some so-called 'dumb' human machines into Equestria, and she took along a special camera from Earth that could take photos underwater. I guess she'd have to post the exposed film and wait a few weeks to get prints made. There sure wasn't anypony in Smile Harbour to process it.

I turned to Sun Squall and asked, "Can you help me-" She sprang off the deck and flew up in to the sky, pounding her wings to climb towards a hoofful of fluffy clouds. "-put the tent up?"

I sighed and got started on it by myself. An earth pony's work is never done.

There were no weather teams this far out but at this time of year it should stay mild. The tent was for just in case and I know from bitter experience it was better to get it up now than when it's pissing down. I dragged the heavy waxed canvas out of its storage locker and assembled the support poles. It went up over the bow's flat deck, meaning I couldn't rig the jib, but we only planned to spend the night and sail back in the morning, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Fitting Mayree in it might be.

I grunted as I shoved the last pole into its socket and then stepped inside to smooth wrinkles from the floor.

"Heeeeeeeeelp!"

My ears swivelled toward Mayree's gurgled yell.

I galloped on deck and stared in her direction. She bobbed on the surface a few dozen yards away, frantically waving a fore.

"Heeeeeeeelp!"

A quick tug snugged my cork vest, and I leaped over the rail, breathing out hard through my nostrils as I plunged into brine. Mayree must have seen I was coming because she stopped yelling and waited impatiently as I pony-paddled toward her. A few seconds gallop took forever to swim but I finally got close enough to shout, "What's wrong?" Gasp. "Are you hurt?"

"ƒμςκιηg sharks!"

A pointed fin cut through the waves between us and I swallowed a mouthful of water.

"They're all around me! Dozens of them!"

I ducked my head beneath the clear water and squinted. She was right! I could hardly see but at least a dozen blurry grey shapes circled her long pink hinds.

And one was coming right for me!

I popped up and gargled a salty yell as the big fish attacked!

And broke down into laughs as tendrils on its blunt snout wiggled over my belly. "Starnose sharks", I spluttered while pushing the beast away with a hind. "They're harmless and playful, unless you're a clam."

Mayree growled, "One of them groped my… Never mind!"

Sun Squall finally turned up, swooping down to hover over us. "What's going on? I heard a yell."

"Starnose sharks."

"Oh", she looked back and forth between us. "So?"

"So, Mayree was frightened and-"

"I was not!" She slashed a hand through the water to splash me.

I laughed, shook wet mane out of my eyes and panted, "Fine, nopony was yelling for help like a scared little filly — I just needed a refreshing dip." Mayree growled as I paddled in a circle and made waves back to the sloop. "Come on, ignore them."

Water drained from my fur and out the scuppers as I hauled myself over the transom. I was going to itch like a flea infestation until I rinsed off the salt.

"Here!" Mayree snarled and threw a fluffy white towel in my face.

I grinned at her and rubbed myself down while she struggled out her black diving suit. There was no towelling off my sopping wet cork vest and I tugged at the neck, encouraging air to circulate between it and my hide.

Supper was salad, sandwiches, and cold soda as we watched the sun creep to the horizon, blazing in orange and gold glory. It touched the waves and Princess Celestia gave it a push, making it zip out of sight as a dark blanket, spangled with stars, swept across the sky.

"Aww… Just when it was getting good", Mayree grouched.

I lit an oil lantern and hung it on the mast. Turned down low it would burn all night and if I were fishing, I'd hang out the nets for anything attracted by its light. There's nothing quite so satisfying as being rocked to sleep by the waves and waking from a peaceful slumber to find your nets packed with an easy catch.

"I'm going to fly around for a bit", said Sun Squall. She hopped over the rail, skimmed the sea, and her silhouette arced up against a sky full of stars.

Mayree yawned, hiding her fangs behind a hand. She crawled to the tent and stuck her head inside. "Will we all fit in here?"

"You and Squall can have the tent and I'll sleep on deck." I grabbed my sleeping roll and carried it to the stern.

"Really?"

"Yes, I'll be fine."

My roll was just the thin mattress off my bed, tied up in a bundle. I flattened it by the transom and flopped down to watch Mayree drag curled up squishy pads of blue foam and several blankets into the tent. She crouched on all fours with her shoulders in the tent and her rump, barely covered by a slip of tight white fabric patterned with orange flowers, stuck up at me. Wave's lusty nonsense echoed in my mind and I snorted in disgust. Tearing my eyes away I looked up to where familiar constellations glimmered — the Milk Bucket, the Dragon, the Five Sisters, and the whorl of Luna's Navel. The stars stretched away to forever as waves lapped against the hull and gently rocked my boat. It was easy to fall in love with a night like this.

Or to fall asleep.

I yawned and something in my jaw popped.

Mayree sat next to me and leaned back against the hull. In a hushed voice she said, "Thanks for bringing me out here, Mainstay. It's so beautiful down there and I wish you could see it too." She held up the lumpy black shape of her human camera. "I can show you some photos, if you want?"

"Uh… Sure, but don't you have to-"

She pushed a button, it chirped, and a tiny but bright window burst into life on its side. She put it before my eyes and I saw a brilliant, colourful painting of a section of crystal reef, complete with a shimmering school of diamond-back fish.

It was so bright and beautiful that my eyes watered.

She chuckled as I leaned closer so that the little painting filled my vision. "You like that, huh? How about this one?" She pushed a button several times and more brilliant paintings flickered by on the window until it stopped on a tendril-covered grey snout. "It's one of our friendly neighbourhood starnosed molesters. Lucky I got this shot before I started, uh, freaking out." Hugging me with one fore she quietly said, "Thank you for coming in after me."

"You're welcome", I muttered absently as I touched a hoof-tip to her camera. "This is amazing! It's like… It's like I'm really down there."

She smirked. "Let me find you a vιδεο."

A few chirps later and the painting moved!

I jerked away from it and might have fallen over if Mayree's fore weren't around my shoulders. Eyes wide in shock and every muscle trembling I pressed my muzzle against the camera and stared. I was there! Below the waves! Swimming slowly along the beautiful glimmering coral, seeing it in a way I'd never-

I lurched back with a startled whinny as something blurry swam right past my nose.

Mayree laughed and ruffled the mane between my ears. "Calm down there, stud. нοℓλ ςяαρ, haven't you ever seen a moving picture before?"

Is that was this was? I blinked and stuttered, "N-no?"

Didn't they have a Saddle Arabian stallion in them, and daft mares who should know better than to swoon at him?

"Okaaay, I think that's enough for now." She tapped the camera and the bright painting vanished, leaving spots dancing on my eyes. "I don't want to give you nightmares or something."

I swallowed heavily and said, "Nothing so beautiful could ever give me nightmares."

It sounded corny, but I meant it.

"Aww… that's sweet", she cooed while hugging me close to press her cheek on mine. "Glad you liked it."

Sun Squall's hooves clattered on the deck and she tucked her wings against her heaving sides. "I'm back!" she announced, as if we hadn't noticed. She squinted at us and a big smile spread across her muzzle.

"Not interrupting something am I?"

Mayree laughed and got up. "Just Mainstay getting his tiny mind blown. Celestia help him if he ever goes to an ιмαχ!"

They shared a giggle at my expense but I could tell from the cant of Sun Squall's ears that she had no clue what Mayree was babbling about. Hah! Now you know how it feels, filly. They went into the tent, quietly chatting and giggling, probably at me. I sighed happily and stargazed for a bit before curling up with my tail over my snoot.

Mayree called, "Good night, Mainstay."

"Sleep tight", from Sun Squall.

I called back, "Sweet dreams", and lay my head down with a happy but tired sigh.

A few minutes later it started to rain.

I groaned and looked up. A patch of stars were hidden by a dark shape almost directly overhead.

"Mainstay!" Sun Squall yelled from the tent. "Get your rump in here."

"What? No, it's just a little shower. It'll blow away soon." The cloud didn't look like it was moving. At all.

Mayree growled, "Do we have to come out there and drag you in?"

I huffed, "Fine!" I jumped up, grabbed my now slightly damp mattress in my mouth, and hauled it into the tent.

Blintzing mares always ganging up on a colt.

They helped me get my mattress under cover and roughly flopped it down on top of their sleeping pads. Finding enough space for everyponys legs was a struggle. Eventually we settled with Mayree in the middle, lying on her side with her hinds tucked up so her paws weren't outside, Sun Squall cuddled up against her chest, and I squeezed in on the other side of Mayree with my back pressed against hers.

It was blintzing tight and I shifted my legs around, vainly hunting for a position that was least uncomfortable. Somepony was lying on my tail.

My ears twitched as Sun Squall giggled.

Mayree whispered, "Shh… Trying to sleep here."

All was quiet for a while as rain pattering against canvas. Then Sun Squall giggled again. She tried to stifle it but something was tickling her funny feather.

Mayree grumbled and shifted against me. "Squall, cut it out."

Like a camera painting bursting to life, an image of what was making that silly pegasus so giggly popped into my head.

"Squall?" I asked.

Mayree groaned, "Not you too."

"Squall, why did you park a raincloud over my sloop?"

That tweaked her funny feather and she burst out laughing.

Mayree sat up and gasped, "Squall, you little βμggεя, what the hay?"

Sun Squall's laughter broke down into cute snorts and she said, "N-now you have two snuggle ponies!"

I could hear Mayree showing her fangs. "That's right. I do, don't I?"

Oh no.

She was too quick for me! Twisting and pouncing like a horrible alien predator she scooping me up in her fores. I squirmed and struggled, but not too hard, I didn't want to hurt her. After a frantic moment of flailing hooves, I fell limp against her chest.

"You're not a very good snuggle pony", she grumbled into my twitching ear. "Take that lumpy vest off."

"No way! I like not drowning, thank you."

"You won't sleep walk over the side while I'm hugging you. Now take it off, it's itchy as нεℓℓ!"

I grunted and squirmed in her fores, "No! Just let me sleep outside if you don't like it."

"Squall?" she asked in a determined voice.

"Yeah?"

"Want to help me strip a stallion?"

My ears pinned flat at Sun Squall's gleeful shout.

My beloved safety vest was tossed out the tent flap and Mayree ruthlessly made me into her new snuggle pony captive. Sun Squall cuddled against my other side and draped a wing over us.

Once I quit fighting, it was actually kind of nice.

11 - Fall Run

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"It's weird you don't call it 'The Running of the Leaves'."

I snorted at Mayree.

"That's a bit of a muzzle-full, isn't it?" I shifted the picnic basket on my back and waved a hoof at the fancy banner our school's foals had made and hung over the lane between Smile Harbour's houses. "Think of all the wasted paint! 'Fall Run' says it all with half as many letters."

The narrow space was crowded with everypony who had turned out: doddering old nags come to cheer on the youngsters; sailors, shopkeepers, tradesponies, and farmers from miles around — some eager for the run, others to set up stalls and hawk drink, food, and other wares; and happy foals with a day off school, giggling and scampering about underhoof. Where Mayree and I walked, ponies from out of town who'd never seen a human before made space and stared up at her with wide, curious eyes.

Sun Squall squeezed through the colourful jumble of bodies and pranced over to us. "Hi, Mainstay! Hi, Mayree! All ready?"

She wore a light blue volunteer's vest that clashed badly with her tangerine fur.

Mayree chuckled nervously and said, "I haven't run a marathon in ages but I'll try to keep up." She hauled the basket off of my back and set it on the cobbles. "Are you sure you can carry this?"

"Yep!" She didn't even check the basket's weight, just nodded and said, "I'll meet you at the Grinning Grove, like we planned."

"Okay, thank you. I'm not in this to win and I'll need a break after a few miles."

I wasn't trying to place either. Fishing was more about patience and strength than endurance, so there was no chance I'd be in the top ten even if I tried. Honestly, I'd rather have spent the day out on my sloop, but a social gallop and a picnic with my friends would make a nice change of pace.

"Come on, everypony! We're almost ready to begin!" the mayor shouted over the chattering crowd.

Mayree literally stood out as we gathered behind the start line. I ended up squeezed between her and the town's mailmare, Daisy. Dark green feathers pressed me on one side and bare tanned-tawny skin on the other. Mayree wore pink shorts, matching pink and white slippers, and a light jacket made of some fuzzy red fabric. It wasn't enough to keep her warm and the stubble on her hinds pricked up in little bumps. I don't know why she shaved off what fur she had. I hope she had some thick clothing because it'd soon be so cold that, even with my winter coat growing in, I'd need to wear my raw-wool scarf and cap.

The mayor called, "Ready!"

"Steady!"

"Go!"

Ponies at the front charged forward and their hoofbeats merged into a loud rumble as onlookers cheered. After a moment, the pony in front of me surged ahead and, hooves slipping on the cobbles, I lurched into a gallop. The postmare and I matched step but she soon pulled away with her longer legs and lighter build. Even though we were all trailing in the middle of the herd I'd still bet on her to win — in fact I had. Her daily rounds took her all over town and out to distant farmsteads, and she knew to pace herself, unlike the foals leading the charge.

Mayree ran by leaning forward, her long hinds catching her fall as her fores pumped in an opposite rhythm, I guess for balance since she didn't have a tail. Her gait was a bounding lope that always seemed on the verge of disaster. I'd love to see a whole pack of humans running a race someday — it must be a breathtaking sight!

The herd slowed and went single-file to round The Hump. I followed Mayree's rump and couldn't spare a moment for a lucky pat because the next pony's breath was right on my tail! I hope they enjoyed the view. Most of the gnarled trees along the cliff edge were evergreens and only shed a few brown needles as we thundered past. We ran by Mayree's front door, a couple of boarded-up heaps, and then up into the low hills. There were more trees here and the red, yellow, and orange leaves flew! I gasped a laugh as Mayree spluttered and waved them away from her face.

As we crested a hill, I saw the postmare was moving her way up, slowly catching the herd leaders.

Go, Daisy, go!

After a few miles of easy gallops downhill and painfully surging up the next, we turned inland and entered the forest proper.

My hooves kicked through drifts of leaves and they fell thick as snow, filling my nostrils with their crisp scent. Mayree and I lagged behind with the older ponies and foals. She was limping, and though I could easily have left her in my leafy dust, I stuck by her side. The leaf-covered trail was churned and soft from so much hoof pounding and we followed it from the woods into a meadow of dry grass and fall-blooming flowers. Sun Squall was an orange blob, hovering in the air above a small patch of forest a mile or so ahead. She must have spotted us, or at least Mayree's obvious figure, and dove toward Grinning Grove.

She'd reserved a nice spot in the shade, close by the trees, and laid out the picnic blanket and food.

"gοδ δαмη but-", gasp, "-I'm out of-", gasp, "-shape." Mayree flopped down and lay on her back with her limbs spread out and her lumpy chest heaving.

I panted and told her, "Y-you did well! Better than I thought you would."

Humans didn't seem designed for running, but she'd kept up and we'd beaten quite a few ponies to the Grove. Even I was close to blown, despite being an earth pony. Foamy sweat drenched my coat and I steamed in the chill air. Sun Squall quietly hoofed each of us a cold flask of water as the stragglers arrived. There was no sign of Daisy, but she and the other contenders wouldn't rest until they crossed the finish line.

Lunatics.

Once we'd caught our breaths we tucked into a light lunch that was heavy on sweets.

"Did you see the postmare?" I asked Sun Squall.

"Daisy Hooves? She was in fifth as they went past."

I smiled and sipped a cold bottle of cola. Good, very good. Looked like I'd have a few extra bits to splash around on Hearth's Warming.

Mayree grimaced as she took off a slipper. The white stocking over her long paw was wet at her toe pads and I could see and smell a little blood. She peeled the cover off and hissed at her broken blisters.

I'd had them before, when a line sawed into a leg, but never on the bottom of my hoof!

"Ouch, that looks blintzing painful."

"It is." She growled as she carefully tugged the stocking back on. "These aren't the right sοςκs for running and I'm way out of shape. Sorry guys, but the Fall Run is over for me."

Sun Squall wrapped a wing around her. "Aww… You were really looking forward to it too."

Mayree chuckled and winced as she put the slipper on. "ƒμςκ мε. Sss… Oh well, there's always next year, right? I'll have to get off my lazy rump to train and maybe import some better sοςκs."

Sun Squall chirped, "What's that word mean?"

"sοςκs? They're-"

"No, the one you said earlier, 'ƒμςκ'."

"It means, uh-", she leaned over to whisper in Sun Squall's ear.

"Oooh… We used 'buck' for that in Cloudsdale."

"I know, and that always seemed kind of lame and confusing to me. I mean, Applejack bucks trees but she doesn't, uh, buck her trees. At least I hope not…"

Sun Squall giggled and said, "I guess it depends on how you say it. Like, you can go into Smile Harbour's bakery and order a dozen cupcakes, but if you run around on the street yelling 'cupcake' at everypony, the Coast Guard will come and take you away." She grinned at me with mischief twinkling in her eyes and asked, "Hey, Mainstay, what do you say here instead of 'buck'?"

I snorted, glanced left and right to make sure nopony would overhear, and leaned in close to whisper, "Tart."

"Pfffffft! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa!" Sun Squall toppled over and rolled in the grass while laughing her head off. Mayree smirked and cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at me.

"Brownie?" I casually said while offering her a little basket of treats from the bakery.

She took one and asked, "And what does 'brownie' mean?"

I winked and told her, "You don't want to know."

After lunch, we packed everything away and walked back to the trail, with Mayree wincing at every step. If I galloped myself ragged, I might come in somewhere in the middle of the herd but she wasn't going to limp home until sunset.

That wouldn't do.

I stepped in front of Mayree and said, "Get on."

She laughed. "Don't be stupid."

She tried to move around me but I stepped in front of her again. "Please, let me carry you. You'll just make it worse if you muffin-well hoof it back to town."

"Mainstay! I weigh more than you, I'll break your cute little pony back."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "An earth pony can carry three or four times their own weight all day long. You won't be a problem."

Sun Squall hovered behind Mayree and shoved her forward with a head butt. "Go ooon! Get on his back! You know you want to." She giggled like a loon.

Mayree swatted at her and whined, "No! What if somepony sees us?" She glanced around at the ponies who were still eating and resting before the final leg. Some were glancing our way curiously. "What if a photo ends up in the newspaper? They'll-"

"Have a heartwarming story about friendship?" I bumped my hip against her hinds. "I'm not going to stop bugging you until you try."

"Me too!" Sun Squall gleefully chirped.

Hah! Take that Mayree. Always ganging up on me with Sun Squall. How do you like it? I gave her my most friendly grin and flicked my tail happily.

She threw her hands in the air. "Fiiine. Buttered biscuits you guys are annoying sometimes", she protested, but I caught the ghost of a smile on her lips.

Hands on my withers, she cocked a leg over my back as curious onlookers grew even more interested.

"Oof. Uh… maybe scoot tailward a little." My already weary legs trembled. She was heavier than she looked but it was better with her rump more-or-less sat on top of mine.

"Sorry, I don't know how to sit on a pony. I've never ridden before."

I grunted and said, "Well, I've never been ridden before."

"That's not what I've heard!"

"Shut up, Squall." That bar-bet with a griffin didn't count. I was drunk and barely remembered it, so it was best if everypony else forgot about it too.

I took a couple of experimental steps to see how easy it would be to walk with her weight shifting my balance way back. It wasn't too bad, but we'd have to make a few rest stops.

"My ƒεετ are dragging." Mayree lifted her hinds up and squeezed them to my barrel, making her paw slippers dig into my sides. Instinctively, I lurched forward and she would have tumbling over my rump if she didn't have a painfully good grip on my mane.

"Oops, sorry. I can't hold them up like that the whole way home, anyway. No such thing as sτιяяμρs in Equestria, I guess?"

"I don't know. What are sss… Sssurrrr…" I gave up trying to pronounce the sibilant growling mess of a word and lamely finished, "…they?"

"Loops hanging down off your back that I can stick my ƒεετ into."

Sun Squall flapped around us, holding a hoof to her chin, humming while trying to think of a way to help.

Mayree sighed and stood up. "Thanks, Mainstay, but this isn't going to work."

"Your jacket", said a black unicorn colt with a bright yellow mane who I'd seen about town; I think he was the farrier's foal. He trotted over and waved at Mayree's top. "You could tie the sleeves into loops and hang it over his withers, kind of like a waggon harness."

"Mmm… Worth a try, thanks colt."

Mayree unzipped and slipped off her jacket while standing over me with her bare thighs pressed against my sides. She tied the sleeves and draped it over my shoulders. Slipping her paws into the loops was an awkward struggle, and I had to quick-step sideways a few times to keep her from falling off. Once she was settled, her weight shifted forward and took the strain off my hind quarters. I took a few experimental steps and Mayree wobbled, stiff as a board, while squeezing me between her hinds and clutching at my mane.

"Relax, I'm not going to let you fall."

She giggled nervously and said, "Sorry, this is really weird."

"It sure is!" The colt laughed and called over his shoulder, "Ma, Pa, I'm gonna go back to town with them, alright?"

"Wait up a moment and we'll come too", a hefty mare shouted back as she started tossing plates and half-eaten food into a wicker hamper.

Guess this was a show she didn't want to miss.

We ended up with pretty much everypony who'd still been at the Grinning Grove tagging along. Young and old gathered around us and snaking through the forest, chatting and laughing, with Mayree riding high over the parade. I worked up to a steady trot as both of us grew more confidant, so it didn't take all day to get back to town… just most of it. We were dead last of course, but I proudly trotted across the finish line to the whole town stamping their applause and cheering. I was lathered, exhausted, and smiling so hard my cheeks hurt.

Winning fifty bits on Daisy Hooves made it even sweeter.

We left the post-Run celebrations early, and I insisted that Mayree ride again. It wasn't far, but I didn't want her tearing open the blisters the Doc had carefully cleaned and bandaged. Plus, it was fun carrying her, since she and Sun Squall thought it was hilarious and it felt heroic, somehow.

"Okay, okay! Woah!" Mayree tugged on my mane as I trotted right through the front door with her still clinging to my back.

Sun Squall wrinkled her nose as we went past and as she shut the door she said, "Whew, you both stink! Time to hit the showers!"

"You heard the filly!" I belted out a loud whinny and started carrying her down the hall. It was too good a joke to pass up.

"Nope, nope, nope! Let me off!"

Mayree struggled to get her paw free and toppled off of my back to sprawl on the floor, laughing. I stopped to make sure she was alright and she just waved me off.

"Go on, you first. You did most of the work, anyway."

"Okay, I'll be quick."

"You'd better!" She sat up, tugged on the front of her loose shirt and said, "Whew, I stink like a cowpony after a rodeo."

I shut the door, turned on the taps, and snuffled the matted fur on my sides while I waited for it to warm up. Beneath my own studly aroma were hints of Mayree's floral soap and her own unique, slightly musky odour that vaguely reminded me of melon rind or maybe griffin. Yes, sort of similar to a female griffin. Must be a predator thing.

I didn't mind it at all.

12 - Redemption Episode

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Pricking my ears as I peered around the corner of my bedroom door I heard sharp clacking from Mayree's typewriter over the booming roar of gusts snapping at the eaves.

Good! She would be too busy to notice me creeping about.

Thick carpet muffled my hoofsteps as I sneaked across the hall and into the bathroom. I softly closed the door and leaned against it, sighing with relief.

Safe.

I lipped it off my back and tossed it into the shower stall before climbing in to fiddle with the knobs.

There were some things nosey mares must never know about.

Hot water pour down and thoroughly soaked me from mane to tail, rinsing away today's sweat and sea salt. Of all the luxuries in Mayree's home, the shower had become my absolute favourite — at least since I'd bought my own soap. I squeezed a blob of 'Stud Scrub' onto a brush and hummed an old shanty while working the pine-scented foam into my hide.

Mane manager oozed over my closed eyes when somepony, some-human since Sun Squall was away, knocked on the door. I froze with a hoof tangled in my mane and yelled, "Hello?"

Mayree yelled back, "I'm coming in!"

"What? No! You can't-"

A gust of cool air told me that she certainly could.

With a startled whinny I quickly sat, but only half my rump landed on its squishy surface. I flicked my sopping tail over it and froze.

"Sorry, Mainstay! I can't use the outhouse because it's started pouring down, and I'm going to burst if I have to wait through one of your epic showers."

Lying through my teeth to save my studliness I grumped, "I'd be happy to just rinse off the dirt but you and Squall-"

She moved past me and I heard her unzip something. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Don't peek, okay?"

I gestured at my face and said, "I have glop all over my eyes. Trust me, I'm not going to open them."

"Like I want to see your-", I muttered quietly.

"What was that?"

I winced. "N-nothing. Just… hurry up. I have to rinse this off before it sets."

"нοℓδ λομя нοяsεs!"

She laughed at her humans-only joke and though I tried not to picture in my mind what she was doing, the splashing sounds made it almost impossible not to!

My ears burned and squeezed tighter to my head.

This is why outhouses were better! Why on turf would anypony think it was a good idea to put the bog in the same room where you're supposed to get clean? I slowly massaged my mane and waited impatiently for Mayree to finish and leave. The manager had already tamed my sea-frazzled split-ends, but I didn't dare stand up to rinse or work more into my tail.

"Do you have нεмοяянοιδs or something?"

"No! Yes? What? What are-", I hurt my tongue gutting the human word.

She snickered and I heard amused disgust in her tone as she asked, "Does it hurt and bleed after you poop?"

"No. No, it does not, but thank you for asking so politely about my rump's health." I kept my eyes closed but turned my head so she could witness my frown and furrowed brows.

"Then why are you sitting on an inflatable doughnut?"

My eyes popped open!

So did Mayree's. "Augh! Close your eyes, pervert!"

I clapped hooves over my face as the mane manager burned! "Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Get out! Get out!"

Her disgusted snort would have done a pony proud. I heard her stand up, zip her clothing, and a whoosh as the potty flushed.

"Pervert!" She stormed out of the bathroom, slamming the door.

The hot shower became a freezing drizzle as I shoved my burning face under it. I don't know what she was so upset up about — I'd glimpsed less of her smooth skin than when she'd been sunlight toasting!

If anypony had a right to be embarrassed it was me!

After rinsing my eyes clear I sat for a while under the warming spray before squeezing more Zebrican manager on my hooves and working it into my tail. I took my time showering, drying, and brushing, but I couldn't stay in the bathroom forever. My doughnut let out a mournful squeak when I stepped on its faux pink frosting and sprinkles, and it deflated like my frisky mood. I flipped it onto my shoulders and gingerly pulled the door open.

Rain and wind roared but otherwise it was quiet.

I tip-hooved to my room and mulled over sneaking out the back to go organise my shed or visit the pub.

Nope. I wasn't getting away that easily.

In a dark corner of my bedroom, Mayree was curled up on her overstuffed chair with her naked hinds tucked beneath her. One of the human devices she'd been allowed to mail-order sat on her lap and it cast an eerie, flickering glow on her frowning face.

I ducked my head submissively and flicked my ears down while wagging my tail a little in hope of easy forgiveness.

Her frown got frownier and she looked back at the device.

Well, being ignored was better than being shouted at. I walked on eggs to my keepsake chest and hid my shameful doughnut. It was almost nighttime dark outside as heavy rain sheeted against the window and drummed on the roof. I hopped up on my bed and stared out at the scrubby trees on the hill, jerking and thrashing in the wind.

I said, "I'm sorry."

Silence.

I sighed and hung my head. "Really. I am sorry. I didn't mean to look but you surprised me."

More silence. Thunder rumbled.

"A-and I'm sorry you saw my… Uh… It's for… Umm…" I grimaced and shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

I dared to glance her way.

She was still ignoring me and staring at that glowing thing. She sniffled and wiped her cheek.

Oh, strudel and biscuits. She really was upset!

I jumped off my bed and walked over to her. "Mayree! I really am-"

"What?" She stuck a hand into her mane and pulled a little thing out of her ear that made tinny music. "Sorry, Mainstay. Did you say something? I was watching…" She waved the tiny orchestra-on-a-wire at the clam-like device. "Watching an episode I wrote."

Oh.

Maybe she wasn't upset with me?

I trotted to the side of her chair and peered at the glowing window. The device hummed like a beehive as it showed a flat and simple painting of Princess Luna, drawn like a comic book character. I shivered as she glared out at us with her hard green eyes and shouted something. Her voice, sounding tinny and leagues away, came out of the little thing Mayree had pulled out of her ear. Suddenly, the picture changed to another mare who was the same dark blue as the Princess, except her mane was bright streaks of black, red, and sickly green. Her eyes glowed and sparked with chaotic magic and jagged arcs flickered around her as she cackled. She vanished and the glowing picture swirled and jerked as magic bolts and flares went everywhere.

It made me queasy so I shut my eyes and looked away.

Mayree placed a cool hand between my ears and scratched with her blunt claws. "Sorry, Mainstay."

I heard a snap as she folded it shut and opened my eyes. She pulled another tiny orchestra out of her other ear and wrapped their lines around the moving picture device before roughly shoving it on a shelf.

She sat up, inhaled deeply and slowly let it out. "What's up?"

"Oh, uh." I waved a hoof at the hall and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for what happened."

She chuckled. "Okay, well, I'm sorry too. No harm done?"

I nodded.

"Good." Her light tone sounded forced and she still had worry-lines around her eyes.

"Why were you watching that when you know it'll make you sad?"

Mayree squirmed on her chair and chuckled wryly. "I guess… I guess I wanted to punish myself." I rested a comforting hoof on her hind and she looked down at me with glistening eyes. "I- I worked it out. The date your mother…"

My lips tightened and I nodded. Nopony would ever forget that week.

She choked and quavered, "I'm so sorry, Mainstay."

Here we go again.

I patted Mayree's hind and shushed her in what I hoped was a soothing way. "Shh… It's alright. Mom always had a faint heart and it's not your fault."

She roughly wiped her eyes and barked a bitter laugh. "I wish I could believe you."

I got up onto my hinds and pushed my way on the chair to wrap my fores around her in a tight hug. "Even if you somehow created Midnight Shadow, you didn't mean for anypony to get hurt. You're good and kind, and I don't blame you for what happened to mom. Okay?"

She hugged me close with her long bone-y fores and her little nose made wet snorking sounds next to my ear as she sniffled. "I guess this is my redemption episode, huh?"

I nuzzled her neck and simply said, "Yes." Maybe she'd believe me this time?

She quietly stroked my back for a while and then murmured, "So, about that doughnut…"

I snorted and pushed away from her. "Don't ask questions you won't like the answer to."

She chuckled and wiped her eyes. "That bad, huh? You want to go to the pub or something? I'll buy."

"Sounds good to me!"

At least I wouldn't be stinking the place up like a pretty princess this time.

I dug the yellow rain-slicker out of my chest, struggled into it, and met Mayree on the porch. She'd put on a similar coat that was made to fit her elongated body and hung down to her mid-hinds. She fought wind gusts to shut the door and followed me out into the staggering downpour.

"Hang on a sec", she yelled.

She pulled something out of her pocket, cocked her fore back, and threw it hard off the cliff. The seapony pearl glowed like a falling star against a backdrop of churning black clouds as it arced down to the waves.

After it was swallowed by the sea I squinted against the rain to look up at her and yelled, "Thank you!"

She patted my hood. "You're welcome! Come on, I'm getting soaked!"

Laughing, we ran toward The Hump.

There were only a hoofful of regulars in the pub this evening, plus a young couple who were probably tourists — I bet they were wishing they'd come during summer. But, maybe not. They looked happy enough as they cuddled in one of the booths, and foul weather makes warm hearts after all.

The sun must be setting, somewhere above the thundering clouds, and all the pub's oil lamps and candles were lit. Old knickknacks and trophies hung from the ceiling's thick wood beams seemed to dance in the flickering light. The dimness hid years of use and abuse on the scattering of mismatched tables and chairs, and the long bar lurked between them, under racks of glasses that glittering like gems.

"What'll it be?" asked Maple Square as she wiped down the bar's stained surface.

I shook off and walked up to the bar. "A couple of pints and menus, please."

"I don't need a menu", Mayree called from where she was hanging our dripping coats up by the door. "I'll have the clam chowder."

"Me too." Thick hot soup and a slab of crusty bread would hit the spot.

We sat at our usual window table, overlooking the lane, though there wasn't much to see. Everypony was at home with their band, keeping warm and dry, instead of rushing around in the storm like a couple of foals I could name. There was no need to drag a third chair to the table as we usually did, and without Sun Squall's chatter to goad us, we just quietly enjoyed our ale and meal.

Mayree gazed out the window while my eyes roved over the few ponies in the pub. Behind the bar, Maple looked bored and sleepy as she read a dog-eared novel. Jackline, Hawser, and Marble Cake, crew from one of the trawlers, played cards at a low table by the fire. Their fourth was a transient pegasus stallion who'd blown into town last week, looking for temporary work with the weather team and somewhere to hole-up for winter. His plain-grey feathers looked pretty ragged, I guess from either helping build this storm or failing to keep it out at sea.

He laughed and spread his cards on the table with a flick of a wing. The others groaned and threw their cards down. I hope he had sense enough to lose more than he won if he wanted to have any friends while he was in town.

The tourists only had eyes for one another as they quietly talked, nuzzled, and kissed. I caught a glint off a gold band around his horn and that explained it. This was a funny place to come on a honeymoon but at least they looked happy. Mind you, a hurricane could be howling outside and they'd probably take no notice.

A dark and tangled strand of wet mane hung down the soft curve of Mayee's cheek, with a droplet of water at the end shining like a diamond. I could brush it back, gaze into her eyes, and kiss-

What?

What the blintzing muffin was I thinking?!

I must have jumped or gasped or something, because Mayree turned away from the window and asked, "You okay?"

Don't look! Don't look into her pretty sea-green eyes. They were the same shade as the waters off the coast of Jackcarter — a bustling donkey port half a world away that reeked of exotic spice and dessert blooms. Her tanned skin took on a golden glow in our table's candle and her soft-looking thin lips curved like a bow as she waved a hand in front of my face.

"Hello. Equestria to Mainstay, is anypony home?"

I snorted and shook my head. "Sorry, I, uh…"

She giggled musically and reached for her glass. "Bit for your thoughts?"

No! No muffin-way was I telling her about the romantic mush that had blind-sided me.

I grabbed my pint and drained it.

I gasped, "I was, ah, just thinking about… Squall. Wondering how she's doing."

She smirked and said, "Missing your marefriend, huh? Don't worry, she'll be back in a few more days."

I rolled my eyes. "She's not my marefriend and I'm not worried."

More giggles. "If you say so. It's a shame you didn't go with them."

"We talked about this already. She went to a family gathering in Cloudsdale. What part of family gathering and Cloudsdale don't you understand?"

She pouted. "Don't bite my head off! I just think it would've been a great chance for her folks to meet you."

I snorted and grumbled, "We've met. Her muffin-headed parents don't like me."

"What? How could anypony not like a charmer like you?" She pinched my cheek and her voice dripped sarcasm, but she winked to let me know she was joking.

Sweet biscuits and gravy but she was cute!

My heart throbbed painfully and I squirmed on my hard chair while forcing myself to look away. "Because they're filthy rich and don't want their only filly hanging around a bottom-feeder like me?"

"You're a what?"

"A bottom-feeder… Fish that eat muck off the ocean floor."

"δαмη, I imagined something involving whipped cream and chocolate sauce."

Now I was too! I whinnied and shook my head to try to clear the image of Mayree's rump slathered in dessert toppings from my mind. She laughed even louder and patted one of my fore hooves where it rested on the table.

"Sorry, Mainstay, but you're too much fun to tease."

Maple was staring at us with a raised eyebrow. I snorted at her and sat up straighter on my chair, inhaled deeply and let it out slow. Acting like a foal while Mayree yanked my tail would set tongues wagging and there were already too many rumours about us. The town's least-eligible bachelor living with an exotic alien mare from another world; how could anypony not think something was going on? I should never have let her and Sun Squall talk me into moving in.

Perhaps I should sail out to sea until my head was on straight again? Maybe visit Marelorca and find a mare on vacation who'd be up for a weekend tumble with a scruffy seadog?

No, the weather was turning and my sloop needed a refit before such a long voyage.

It didn't feel like the right thing to do anyway since I wasn't a randy hoofloose colt any more. Randy, I guess, with what was running through my head, but not daft enough to act on it anymore.

"Mainstay!"

I blinked and looked into her mesmerising eyes. "Huh?" What had she been talking about? The weather?

"Are you coming down with something?" She reached across the table to press a cool hand against my sweaty forehead and a rush of hot blood made my ears burn. "You feel warm and your eyes are glazed. Come on, I'm taking you home before it gets any worse."

Her chair scraped on the floor as she stood up.

Maple Square counted the bits Mayree dropped on the bar and thanked her for a generous tip. She gave me a knowing smile and told Mayree, "You take good care of that stallion."

Mayree chuckled. "I'll make sure he doesn't get out of bed until he's feeling better."

"You do that now."

It was a relief to get outside and away from her leering grin. Mayree led the way and I flipped my hood back to let the cold rain freeze my overheated brains.

13 - Porridge

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"I can't believe you're finally doing this", Chill Breeze grunted through clenched teeth.

Sweat trickled from the base of his brightly glowing horn as he strained to force every bit of magic he had through it. I held my tongue as the last thing I wanted was to do was distract him!

Keeping a close eye on my precious sloop, I chewed nervously on my lower lip. She'd been with me for years, through thick and thin like a faithful pet, and now it was time to pay her back. Her faded blue hull floated slowly through the air like a graceful… Like a beached whale. A dense crust of barnacles and slime coated her up to the waterline and sea wrack hung from her rudder, drizzling water on the stony beach.

Chill Wave's horn pulsed in time with his brothers. He snickered and gasped out, "Mainstay's a made colt, bro. Got himself a rich shugar filly to pick up the bill."

That I had to say something about!

"I've been saving for this-", you putrid sack of rotten cupcakes, "-eating nothing but porridge and seaweed for blintzing years-", you perverted strudel who'd buck his own dam, "-so be careful-", or I'll rip off your baguette and cram it down your windpipe, "-please."

He cackled like a gull but I had to admit that he and his brother were gentle as a mother putting her foal to bed.

A low groan from the stout beams of the boat frame sent a jolt of fear up my spine, but they held fast as my sloop settled into her new berth for the next few weeks. I breathed a long sigh of relief and walked beneath her to gently pat her damp, crusty keel. There were days and days and days of hard, filthy work to do, scraping and patching and painting.

I whinnied and pranced in a gleeful circle! This was going to be so much fun!

Let the twins snicker and roll their eyes, I didn't care! I could kiss my cutie marks for filling me with such warm happiness, but that would have looked even queerer.

Kicking up my hooves, I trotted up the switchback path and blew into the town store, whistling a cheerful air. Since it was such a special day, I would cook an equally special supper to celebrate! The store was bustling, with a whole three ponies wandering the aisles. They threw me strange looks as I hummed a shanty and nodded to them while chucking ingredients wily-nilly into a basket.

I skipped to the counter to pay and kept right on humming as Abalone slowly tallied up my purchases and slipped each item into my saddlebags.

"Hmm… That'll be fo'teen bits, young feller."

I smiled at her kindly wrinkled face and said, "And a pint of crystal berries, please."

Thick glasses slid off her muzzle to dangle on their chain.

"Come agin'?"

I pointed at the display case behind her. "A pint of crystal berries."

She cast a glance over her shoulder at the glimmering berries. A fruit so rare and precious in Smile Harbour that the lone square basket came with a blue ribbon tied around it in a bow, like a present. I'd never tried one before, but if they tasted half a good as they looked it'd be worth the eye-watering price tag.

With a frown she caught up her glasses, polished them on her apron, wedged them back on, and squinted at me. "Ye ain't skunked agin' is ye?" she whispered as her nose snuffled suspiciously.

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, it's just a fabulous day, and I'd like a pint of crystal berries. Please."

"Well, a'right then. If'n ye sure…"

An intense flurry of whispers broke out behind me as Abalone unlocked the case. There'd no doubt be rumours that I'd gone insane; robbed a bank; was proposing to Mayree; had found Captain Fetlock's treasure; and a half a thousand other crazy stories. It was like a pony couldn't celebrate just because they were happy to be alive!

The Hump got a very enthusiastic patting and a nuzzle — I even smiled and waved at those nosey fillies as they scampered away from the back of Mayree's house. I reined myself in and put on a frown-y face before I cracked open the front door.

"I'm home", I muttered in a depressed tone as I plodded inside with my head hung low.

Mayree wasn't in the living room or kitchen so it was a wasted effort. Faint music filled the house; electric guitar, drums, piano and a deep, rough male voice crooning a rock-ballad.

I stopped by the refrigerator to shuck off my saddlebags and quietly tip-hoofed down the hall in search of a human mare to prank. She wasn't in her bedroom, and the bathroom was wide open, so that just left my room. I peered around the edge of the door and found her curled up on her chair with a large book resting on her hinds. She hadn't noticed me yet, so I lowered my head and ears, smothered a grin that would have given me away, and slumped in with my hooves dragging. The music soared, and it sounded like the singer was pleading with someone as a violin sobbed. I didn't understand a single word, but it set the right mood!

"I'm home."

She jerked and her elbow knocked another thick book off of the chair's padded fore rest. It fell to the floor with a loud thump and Mayree slapped closed the big book she was reading; A Complete History of Equestria, Vol III.

"Mainstay! Jεsμs, don't surprise me like that!"

She jammed the history book onto the shelf near her chair and tapped a button on her pony-made music player, all dark polished wood and gold trim, cutting off the mournful tune.

She frowned at me, and asked, "What's wrong?"

She must have mistaken the tightening of my lips for a grimace when really I was struggling to hold back a laugh. She looked so worried! This was going to be great!

"It's… not gone well", I muttered. True — it went perfectly!

"sнιτ! What happened? How bad is it?!"

I gazed up at her with sad-puppy eyes and trembled my lower lip.

"Oh, no! Your poor little boat!"

She leaned down, wrapped her long fores around me, and hugged me halfway onto the chair. I didn't have to fake relaxing since it felt so nice cuddling up with her and, luckily, she couldn't see my face or my smile as I nuzzled her sweet-scented mane.

"There there", she murmured comfortingly and patted my back. "It'll be okay."

Mayree was swallowing it hook, line, and sinker!

"I know a great lawyer in Canterlot who'll sue the pants off of those blintzing twins!"

What?

I pushed away from her and stammered, "S-sue?!"

"You bet!" She gripped my shoulder and stared me right in the eyes with a fanged grin. "We'll take them for everything they have!"

Predators.

I almost laughed, but it was flattering that she'd go on the attack for me. Still, the twins didn't deserve that.

"But I don't want to sue them."

"No? Well, maybe you're right, they probably don't have much anyway… I know! I'll write to Luna and have them banished! Yes! I never liked that Wave pony — he's always leering at me and licking his lips. Ugh. Creepy! I'll get a dragonfire scroll and-"

A chill ran up my spine. She was taking this far too seriously! I'd hoped for a little sympathy and a hug before reeling her in and getting an outraged laugh or two. At this rate she might be furious enough to ask Princess Luna to banish me!

I butted my head against her as she tried to stand up.

"I don't want to banish them either! Besides, uh, you shouldn't go bugging the princesses with a little backwater problem like this! They've got better things to do." Maybe I could get her calmed down and then admit it was just a joke?

She patted my shoulder. "Lulu won't mind. She can probably just give you a new boat… нεℓℓ, maybe a whole ship! I'll write her a quick note and-"

"No!" I yelped and pushed her back into the chair again. "My sloop's fine! I'm just yanking your tail."

I flinched as Mayree's confused expression darkened into a stony frown. "Mainstay!" she shouted, "How could you joke about something like this?"

"I thought it would be funny!"

"Funny?! Making me think your sweet little boat was wrecked is funny?! I almost got some innocent ponies banished! What the нεℓℓ were you thinking, Mainstay?!"

"I'm sorry!"

She growled and I cringed under the weight of her angry glare.

"Gotcha!" she whispered with a muffin-eating grin.

"What?"

Her feelers dug into my ticklish fore pits and she crowed, "I knew you'd try something, you little sнιτ!"

Flailing my hooves and laughing I stumbled back a few steps. It wasn't fair how easily she was able to tickle with those wiggly hands of hers. She snickered as I huffed and casually ran a hoof over my head to push tangled locks out of my eyes.

"So the Chill twins didn't screw up?" she asked.

"No", I grumbled, but a smile crept over my lips. "It went smooth as silk."

"And you were sooo worried." She mocked in a pouty voice as she reached out to muss up my mane again.

I swatted her hand away. "Hey, she's precious to me and I'd be bit-less if something happened to her."

"There is that." She tugged one of my ears and joked, "You'd better not fall behind on the rent, stud, or it's back to the storage shack with you."

She was just joking… right?

I wasn't even paying rent.

I forced a smiled and said, "No worries. We'll launch her in a couple of weeks if you and Squall lend a hoof… or a hand."

"I still don't know what you expect me to do. I've never worked on a boat before."

"To start with, we'll be scraping off the barnacles and-", I held my hoof up and stretched as high as I could go, "-you can reach places I can't."

She barked a laugh and said, "Great, you only like me because you're into tall fillies."

"No!", I blurted, "I love you becaaaaa…" I choked as my ears caught up with what was pouring out of my stupid, honest mouth. A hot tide of blood made my skin prickle and burn and I just wanted to crawl away and hide beneath a rock.

Awkward silence stretched like a taut fishing line.

"Okay, that got kind of mushy…" I could hear an unspoken question in her tone as she cocked an eyebrow at me.

My forced laugh cracked as I jumped to my hooves. "H-hey! Speaking of mush, I have more good news: I'm cooking supper tonight! I'll call you when it's ready!"

I fled from her confused frown, clattered across the kitchen tile, and skidded to a stop by my saddlebags. Wheezing like a steam engine I yanked out precious ingredients and scattered them around the floor while trying not to think about what a complete foal I'd made of myself. Going up on my hinds, I stretched across the human-height counter to bite the handle of a pot and slide it into the sink. My hinds shook as I strained to work the water pump.

I struggled to get the heavy pot onto the stove and was filling a second one when I heard the soft sound of Mayree's bare paws on the hallway carpet. She pulled out a tall stool and sat behind me at the counter between the kitchen and dining room.

"So… What are we having?" she asked casually.

I glanced over my shoulder at her and then back into the sink.

"Porridge", I told the pot.

"Porridge?! For supper?"

I laughed. A strained, breathy noise. "You've never had my porridge before. Trust me, you'll love it." That blintzing word again! I winced and ground my teeth.

She coughed and asked, "And for dessert?"

"Porridge."

"Porridge?"

"Yes."

"More porridge?"

I tried the unconvincing laugh again. "Yes, different porridge."

"Okaaay. You're paying for dinner at the pub tonight."

I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself. It worked, a little. I shoved the pan onto the stove and dropped down to the floor. Looking up at Mayree's grumpy but amused expression I said, "I will… if you hate my cooking. But you won't, for I am a zebra alchemist when it comes to porridges! Get ready to have your taste buds singing my praises."

Mayree laughed and shook her head in disbelief. She'd learn, oh yes, she'd learn.

"Do you want a hand?"

I glanced around at the scattered ingredients on the floor and then back up at her predatory smile. "Yes, please."

It went quickly with Mayree's help. I prepared each pot with a mix of three grinds of oat, carefully selected from across Equestria for their texture and flavour. A different blend for supper and dessert. She helped chop the fruit, nuts, and vegetables to my exacting specifications, but I alone handled the all-important herbs and spices. Some secrets shouldn't be casually given to a novice. We talked about inconsequential things while we worked: the weather; what Smile Harbour did to celebrate Hearth's Warming; her plans for visiting Princess Luna in Canterlot; how expensive mainland potatoes were. We talked about Sun Squall. She'd sent us a postcard to let us know how her extended family in Cloudsdale were doing , and that she was bored out of her mind and missed us.

"I don't think I'd ever get bored with Cloudsdale", she said.

Her laugh sounded a little brittle to me. I stirred bruised violet petals into dessert and asked, "Why did you move here then?"

"Cloud-walking spells don't last very long." She sighed and shrugged. "It was too close to Canterlot, anyway. Too many tourists… humans, I mean."

I grunted. "You don't like the company of your own kind?"

"It's not that. I didn't want to settle down in a place that'll be overrun if they start letting anypony from Earth visit. It'd be like living in διsηελℓαηδ, with herds of tourists and their foals sticking their cameras and noses into everything. Besides-", she waved a hand at the window, "-it's a big world with lots to see and I won't miss out on any of it!"

"We should sail to Marelorca in the spring, after Winter Wrap Up."

She chuckled. "At least you call that by the same name. And, yeah, I'd like that."

I smiled and blew on a spoonful of dessert porridge. "Good."

It felt almost normal again.

I nodded my approval after a taste and said, "It's ready."

She helped me set the table and settled onto her seating pillow. I brought over the main course and ladled a generous portion of grey lumpy porridge into her bowl before serving myself, taking my seat, and confidently waiting for her praise. Mayree looked warily at the puddle of glutenous glop like it was something I'd scraped off my sloop. Maybe I should have bought parsley and put a sprig on top, the way they do in fancy restaurants.

She leaned over the bowl and sniffed with her cute little nose. "It smells… really good, actually. Is that paprika?"

"Ah ah ah… That's a trade secret. Try some."

She snorted and picked up her spoon. "'Trade secret'? You're a fisherpony not a chef."

"And what do you think keeps a fisherpony going on a cold foggy morning? My ancestors have been making delicious and medicinal porridges since before Nightmare Moon threw a tantrum." I waved an encouraging hoof. "Just try it."

She huffed and scooped up a small spoonful.

"Hmm… Hmm? Hmm! Mmmmmm…" She chewed and rolled the porridge around in her blunt muzzle like a fine wine, sampling everything it had to offer. After swallowing her mouth opened with a cute little gasp.

"How? What?" She stared at her bowl with an almost angry expression. "It's crunchy? I watched you boil the нεℓℓ out of it for an hour!" She experimentally smacked her spoon on the puddle of grey porridge. "Look, its glop! How is it crunchy? And spicy? And sour and sweet and… It tastes meaty! How does it taste like steak, Mainstay?"

"Ancient earth pony secret", I winked and picked up my spoon.

She pouted at my non-answer, but finished before me and demanded seconds.

I garnished the dessert porridge with crystal berries and they sparkled beautifully atop the slimy pale grey paste. After sampling a spoonful, Mayree had to get up and walk around for a few minutes, cursing quietly in her growling language.

She made coffee and we both whimpered at the contrast in flavours.

It was perfect.

We washed up and chatted about Marelorca and other places we could sail once my sloop was relaunched. She'd be so much faster after shedding her coat of barnacles! There were only a few weeks of decent weather left but we might have time to make another trip out to the Reefs. It all felt so warm and casual and normal. Mayree built a fire, flopped down with her hinds stretched out, and wiggled her pink little toes at the flames.

I sat upright at the far end of the couch, closed my eyes, and basked in the warmth. I was relaxed and happy with a full belly, and thoughts of the fun we'd have working on my sloop danced in my head. Once the barnacles were shed, we'd strip the fading blue paint, patch a few leaks with fresh oakum and tar, sand and vanish the deck, then repaint her hull. The cans of marine paint I'd ordered, mixed special to match the red boat on my flank, should arrive by train any day now!

Mayree patted her thigh in her nightly invitation, so I stretched out to lay my head in her lap and shut my eyes. She was treating me like a pet, but I didn't mind, as dozing while she groomed behind my ears was pure heaven. My tail flopped lazily and I vaguely wished I knew how to purr — the closest I could manage was a contented chuff.

When I was completely vulnerable and at her mercy, she quietly said, "It sounded like you really meant it."

Her voice was soft and curious but something about it made me wary and brought my ears up. Like hearing a faint rustle and growl from the bushes.

Of course I meant it.

There were few ponies I'd trust to help me scrape barnacles, and while it was tempting to hog the fun all to myself, it would be even better sharing it with friends. I opened my mouth to reply but hesitated as what she was really asking flashed through my mind.

My answer was the same though.

"Yes."

Her hinds tensed under me but the scritching didn't falter.

She sighed and asked, "Why me? I mean, why not Squall? I've been trying to get you two together for ages."

That wasn't the response I'd hoped for and it hurt.

"Mainstay?"

"Mainstay, say something."

I licked my dry lips and said, "I don't know. I do like Squall; she's cute, exciting, and pushy, but in a fun way. It would be easy to fall in love with her."

She made a small hmf noise and asked, "Well, why don't you then? I think you'd be perfect together! If you want, you could both live here and have lots of adorable little foals for me to spoil."

I could see myself being happy living that life.

If Mayree hadn't come along, I might have proposed to Sun Squall eventually though it was more likely she'd ask me. She joked about it often enough and didn't hang around with the town loser for no reason. I was a muffin stud! Hah.

But Mayree had come into our lives and changed everything.

"Did you know that Squall's been trying to get us together since the day you arrived?"

A sharp intake of breath. "βμℓℓsнιτ!"

I didn't understand that curse word, but her nose wrinkled as if she'd smelled something awful and I could tell she didn't believe me.

"What about that stunt with the rain cloud, out on the Reefs?"

She swallowed and said, "No, she wanted to get closer to you and I was just playing along."

"Hmm…"

Something about her tone sounded off… as if maybe she hadn't just been playing along with it for Sun Squall's sake. She did enjoy snuggling with ponies after all, and her hands hadn't stopped petting me for a moment while we talked.

"Well, that may be true too. She's pretty much thrown herself at me a few times, but she's also been dropping hints that you like me and going all giddy-eyes whenever we're together. Maybe she saw something spark between us when we first met?"

Mayree snorted. "As if. You hated me."

"I didn't hate you! Mild dislike maybe."

She lightly swatted my nose and said, "No, you hated me. I was the one with mild dislike and…"

I wiggled my rudely assaulted muzzle and asked, "And what?"

"Curiosity. You were just so… So…"

"Ugly? Smelly? Rude?"

"No!" She dared to swat my sensitive nose again. "So different from all the other ponies. Yeah, you were rude and smelly-"

"But not ugly?"

Swat! "Will you let me finish?!"

I waved a hoof in surrender and rubbed my tender nose.

She sighed and said, "Most of the ponies I've met are like Squall. Cheerful as ƒμςκ, wide-eyed and naïve, instant friends who burst into song just because it's a lovely day."

I opened my muzzle to defend Sun Squall but shut it again as the striking hand threatened.

"Don't misunderstand me, Mainstay. I don't think it's a bad thing that most ponies are so happy and friendly — I wish humans had more of that in us. But it gets annoying being mobbed by friendly ponies everywhere you go. Humans don't work that way!

"It takes time to get that close with us and instant pony friendship feels like it has nothing real behind it. Just happy smiles, friendly hooves, free cupcakes, and maybe a sappy song, but all without really getting to know one another first. You understand?"

"I think so. Maybe you should have moved to Griffinstone? Those feather-heads would give you a friendship challenge."

She gently tugged a tangle out of my mane and rested her cool hand on my withers. "You're kidding, but I thought about it. They have some great ocean-side views over there too, but they're not as cute as you guys.

"Anyway, I had you pegged as the other kind; ponies who hate humans. Who fear us. Who don't want anything to do with the messed up world next door, and I don't blame them. So, I assumed that was you, my new neighbour, a grumpy mule with a stick up his plot hole.

"Then you started helping me, showing an interest in what I was doing here and who I am. You cared, but you didn't jump down my throat trying to be my most bestest friend forever! You seemed almost…"

"Human?"

"Yeah."

At least I knew how she felt about me now — the closest thing to a real friend that she'd made since leaving Earth. But she didn't feel the way I did.

Muffin tops.

I wish I could take it back! Blurting it out was something a lovelorn colt would do, not caring about the consequences. But I couldn't change what had happened or how I felt about her, and now that she knew, and didn't love me, where did that leave us? Back to being friends? Could that rosy picture of marrying Sun Squall and living under her roof still work? Or would seeing her break my heart every day?

The hollow ache in my gut was answer enough. I sniffled as my eyes watered and pins prickled inside my nose.

Her hand squeezed my shoulder. "Mainstay, nooo. Don't cry or I'm going start crying too and… And…" She fell quiet for a few moments while the fire fluttered and crackled. She grunted and half-shouted, "How you can you even feel that way about me?! ƒοя ƒμςκ's sακε, I'm not a pony!"

I sat up so I could gaze into her pretty sea-green eyes, sucked in a deep breath to calm myself, and said, "Because you're beautiful, exciting, and kind of pushy but we still have a lot of fun together. Don't we?"

"Hah!" She quickly wiped her cheeks and gave me a trembling smile. "You said the same thing about a sweet little mare I know."

I gingerly cupped her cheek with my hoof and murmured, "Almost. But you're the one I fell in love with", and I leaned in.

A quick brush of my lips on hers. I felt her shiver and a sharp intake of breath where her small nose pressed against my thin muzzle fur.

I sat back and she just stared at me, shocked.

My ears folded flat and I slowly caressed her soft cheek as I withdrew my hoof. I'd gone too far but I couldn't help wanting to touch her for as long as possible. It might be for the last time.

She touched a hand to her lips, blinked at me, stood up, walked to her bedroom, and shut the door.

It would have been easier if she'd yelled at me. Cursed me. Hit me. Thrown me out of her home.

The fire popped and I watched the flames dance for a while, but I didn't cry. It felt wrong, like the emotions roiling inside of me weren't real if I couldn't get any tears to fall. With my sloop in dry-dock I couldn't sneak away to sleep aboard and maybe sail off to the horizon, never to return, once dawn broke.

I couldn't leave Mayree, anyway.

I glanced at her door as I walked to my room but there was nothing left to say.

My bed was cold and lonely as I pulled my old wool blanket over my head.

I hoped tomorrow would never come.

14 - Predation

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My head jerked up off my pillow.

Nostrils flared and ears stiff, I looked cautiously around my dark bedroom while my heart hammered. It almost stopped when a shadow moved! A quick padding of paws on the carpet and she loomed over me.

"Mayree?"

"Shh…"

She pounced!

My blanket was tossed aside and she climbed over me. Groggy and confused, I had barely enough sense to tuck my legs against my chest and belly to make room. Rusty springs twanged sharply as my old bed sagged and bounced beneath us. Her fores slipped around me and we curled up tight together on my narrow mattress.

Her warm breath, scented with grapes and alcohol, came in ragged pants as her lips brushed mine. Light and quick, her first kiss was followed by a nervous giggle, and then a dozen more kisses peppered my muzzle as I hesitated. When I finally responded and kissed her, with a quiet whinny rumbling in my chest, her eyes fluttered open to gaze into mine. She seemed to come to a decision, suddenly becoming much bolder and parting my lips with her tongue.

We shared panted breaths as I lightly caressed her tongue with mine and her feelers dug into my fur. I slipped a fore around her hip to pull her even closer. Mayree's mouth devoured me as a long bare hind draped over my rump and she pressed her heaving belly to mine. My world spun, and I felt light and delirious as my bed keeled over, dumping us onto the floor with my thin mattress flopping on top.

"sнιτ!" Mayree gasped and pushed herself off me.

I lay on my back, fores pulled up to my chest and my head ringing.

She shoved the mattress aside and gazed down at me. The fall, or her passionate kisses, had knocked the wind from me, and I panted, trying to catch my breath. She was naked! Topless anyway, and I hesitantly reached up to caress soft fur inside my hoof over the curve of a misplaced teat. She laughed, tucked dark tangled locks behind her ear, and flashed her fangs in the dim starlight seeping through my window. This Mayree was a completely different mare from the one with wounded eyes who'd fled to her bedroom — bold, carefree, drunk on wine and lust, and by the stars I needed her!

Tossing my worries overboard I lunged up and threw my fores around her, pulled her close, and silenced her giggles with my lips.

"Woah, woah! Easy there stud", she gasped and drew away from me again.

I wish she'd stop doing that!

She stood, rising to her magnificent height as I rolled to my hooves.

"Come on", she waved a hand and told me, "My room."

Almost tripping over my hooves, I followed, baring my teeth to nip at her… Muffins! What did humans do? Thinking fast, I caught the stretchy band of her frilly black underclothing, pulled it, and let it go with a snap.

"Ow! ωнατ τнε ƒμςκ?" She laughed and swatted my poor nose.

I guess humans don't work that way either.

"Sorry", I muttered while rubbing my muzzle. "But you don't have a tail to nip."

She laughed again as she dove onto her bed. "Must be a pony-thing, huh? Well-", she patted the gleaming waves of silk sheets and crooned seductively, "-why don't you come up here and show me a few more pony things?"

I leaped onto the bed, into her waiting fores, and drown my worries about her sudden change of heart in sweet kisses. Making love with her was very different from the times I'd been with a pony mare and nothing quite worked the way I was used to. Frustrated, I kicked the tangled mess of bedsheets to the floor, and a moment later her lacy black underclothes followed. She showed me how to please her, and it was blintzing obvious how she could please me! Between her sense of humour and my enthusiasm we found ways to make it work.

Afterwards, sweaty and overheated, we cuddled on the massive bed which had barely contained our frantic lust.

Satiated and drifting, I nuzzled her slender neck and murmured, "I love you", into her cute little pink ear.

Her hand clenched into a tight fist in my chest fur.

"Thank you", she whispered.

It would have to do.

15 - Homecoming

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Something tickled my nose.

I wiggled and pawed at it, sighed a long grumbling almost-whinny, and drifted in warm comfort.

Until it happened again.

My eyes popped opened to a blurry view of tangerine feathers, which swept aside revealing Sun Squall's brilliant grin.

"Whuh-"

"Shh", she quietly hissed while holding a hoof to her lips. Thick carpet muffled her steps as she backed away and waved for me to follow her.

What was she up to?

I yawned, frowned, and shook my head at her without raising it from the soft, warm bed.

She grinned, nodded vigorously, and waved more urgently for me to get up.

Mayree shifted beside me. Silk sheets draped over the curve of her shoulder glowed in the rosy dawn light that seeped around the curtains. Relaxed and vulnerable, her fur-less face filled me with longing and a desire to protect the innocent little smile on her lips. Perhaps she was dreaming of a certain colt?

Not wanting to wake her, I nuzzled her soft chestnut mane where it lay in random waves between us.

"Psst", Sun Squall hissed in my ear before biting the tip and playfully tugging. Why couldn't she have stayed in Cloudsdale for another day? Or week? Maybe two?

Stifling a groan, I carefully crawled to the edge of the bed, since it was either follow Sun Squall or she'd keep pestering until one of us woke Mayree. We'd both had a long and hard… No. We'd had a complicated night, and she must be exhausted.

I was.

Moving cautiously, and freezing when Mayree mumbled and stretched, I slipped from under the sheets and followed Sun Squall into the hall. She grinned like a lunatic and was ready to burst! It was my turn to shush her as I quietly closed the door. Bumping and pushing her with my head as she struggled to contain her giggles, I hustled her to the living room.

"What happened?" she whispered.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "What do you think happened?"

She grinned, fanned her wings and said, "Whew, it smells like you had tart for two!"

"Squall!" I hissed.

She pranced in a circle, laughing and fluttering until she drifted from the floor like a balloon.

"Squall, be quiet!"

"Oh, Mainstay! I can't! Not now!" Her voice grew loud as she swooped around the room, brushing me with a wing tip. She sang, "I want to dance on the clouds!"

"You'll wake Mayree!" I clapped a hoof over my muzzle, too late to muffle my shout.

"Eee hee hee heeeee…" Sun Squall giggled as she drifted down to land in front of me. "Sorry. Sorry, Mainstay. I'm just so happy I could pop!"

She held out her fores, "Hugs?"

I couldn't stay mad with her, and my lips spread into a silly grin as we hugged. At least she wasn't upset about finding the colt she was courting in bed with another mare — even if she'd been the one who set us up.

I squeezed her tight, kissed her cheek, and murmured, "Thank you."

She nuzzled and hummed happily.

It was warm and cosy with her wings wrapped around me and I couldn't hold in a jaw-cracking yawn. Last night, the bad and the very, very good, had burnt my wick low.

My shoulder felt wet. Was she crying?!

I pulled back to look at her with worry etched on my face.

She slurped and licked her lips. "Sorry", she said with a sheepish grin, "You smell really, really good."

My relieved chuckle was interrupted by another yawn.

Coffee.

I'd make coffee. Mayree would like waking up to a fresh brew and I could do with a mug too, though giving Sun Squall coffee might be a crime against all ponykind.

I would have to risk it because she followed me to the kitchen, prancing, ruffling her wings, and humming a sweet, bouncy tune.

A green bottle and half-empty goblet of dark red wine huddled together, out in the open space of the counter. It looked like Mayree had only poured a single glass of liquid courage and hadn't even finished that. Good, that meant no hangover or what-the-muffin-did-I-do-last-night regrets… I hope.

My hooves clanged on the stove as I bit into the kettle's handle, and I winced at each sharp clip-clop on the tile floor. At least I managed to silently set it down in the sink before having to stretch, standing on tip-hooves, to reach the water pump.

While I worked, Sun Squall quietly sang to herself and tapped her fore hooves together.

"ςℓαρ αℓοηg ιƒ λομ κηοω ωнατ нαρριηεss ιs το λομ.

"βεςαμsε ι'м нαρ-εεεεε…

"ςℓαρ αℓοηg ιf λoμ ƒeεℓ ℓiκε τhατs ωhατ-"

It sounded light and merry, even in the human's growling tongue, and if I understood the words, I might have joined in. Though my singing was more like a frog's belch than Sun Squall's sweet birdsong.

Why did I feel sorry for her?

With the kettle filled I leaned against the sink and interrupted her singing. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Okay?" she squeaked and then threw her hooves into the air! "No, I'm awesome!"

"Shhh!"

She ducked her head and whispered, "Right, right… Sorry."

I chuckled and shook my head. I was being a blintzing foal, looking for things to worry about instead of celebrating the most wonderful night of my life. I tried not to slobber as I lifted the heavy full kettle out of the sink — Mayree hated slimy pot handles.

Sun Squall glanced between the hallway and front door while her wings twitched open and closed. "I just… I can't decide if I want to stay until Mayree wakes up or rush out to tell everypony!"

I almost dropped the kettle!

It rattled as I quickly set it on the floor, and the moment my mouth was free I furiously whispered, "No! No, you can't tell anypony!"

She whined, "But, Mainstaaay. This is the best news I've ever had and-"

I stalked toward her, shaking my head. "No, Squall! Please, you can't go spreading this all over blintzing town."

"But why?" Her cute pout spread into a crazy grin as she backed away from me and spread her wings. "They're all going to be so happy for us!"

Happy as dock cats when the fishing fleet made port! Chill Wave would be licking his chops over such a tasty morsel, and I could already hear the shocked whispers of old grey mares as they gossipped over tea and biscuits. It wouldn't bother me much, I'd been the town's lure for that since I was a colt, but Mayree? I couldn't risk her being upset and deciding I wasn't worth the trouble! What if word got out and every nosey pony and reporter in Equestria showed up on her porch step?!

I had to convince Sun Squall to keep quiet! And fast, before she zipped out the door!

But, what did she mean by… "Happy for us?"

"Well, yeah… That you, Mayree, and me are going to be a band, silly."

"Squall-"

"What's going on?" asked Mayree. She yawned and rubbed a clenched hand against one of her eyes. "Morning, Squall. Did you just get back?"

I hadn't heard her soft paws padding down the hall. She wore a long-sleeved shirt with little pictures of the Element Bearer's cutie marks all over, and she was gorgeous! Sunlight streaming through the porch windows turned her bed-mussed mane into a fiery halo, and her adorably sleepy smile swelled into a startled grin as Sun Squall threw herself at her.

"Mayree! Oh my gosh, I'm so happy!"

She stumbled but caught herself with those long, elegant hinds, and bent to hug a bundle of trembling orange feather that wrapped around her hips. "Heeey, it's good to see you too, filly. We missed you!

A wave of Mayree's warm, musky scent, blended with my own, washed over me, and my heart, already racing with panic, skipped a beat and left me gasping.

"How was the family thing?"

Sun Squall nuzzled her tummy and hummed, "Mmm… It was okay, I guess." Her wings swept out as she bounced free from the hug. "I have to go but I'll be back in a flash!"

"Squall, no!" I stalked toward her on stiff legs.

Mayree yawned and waved. "Okay, see you later."

"Squall!"

She was at the door, pulling it open! "See you in-"

Desperate, I charged at her and screamed, "We're not getting married!"

Sun Squall crumpled as I ploughed into her and our bodies slammed the door shut with a crash!

She lay on her back and stared up at me with terrified eyes as I stood over her.

Stood on her beautiful wings.

Pinned them to the floor.

She whimpered, "B-but-"

"Mainstay! What the нεℓℓ?!" Mayree shouted behind me.

Muzzle to muzzle, in a dead serious voice I told her, "We're not getting married."

She flinched and her eyes glossed with tears. I might as well have been trampling her beneath my hooves.

"Get the ƒμςκ off of her!" Mayree's hands grabbed my mane and tail and she heaved me off of Sun Squall. I stumbled back and my rump hit a tall kitchen stool, knocking it across the floor until a leg caught and it crashed to the floor.

"What the ƒμςκ is going on?!" shouted Mayree. "Nopony said anything about-" She whirled and bared her fangs at me, and not in a smile. "You told her!"

"No, she-"

Sun Squall wailed, "I'm sorry!" The door whipped open to slam against the wall and she bolted outside to flee into the sky.

Waves crashed on the beach far below and I panted as a cold salty breeze blew in and tugged at my sweaty fur. Mayree grimaced, carefully closed the door, and turned to glare at me. I cringed but my gaze locked with hers as my heart slammed in my chest like I was doing the Fall Run all over again.

"She… She was in the bedroom when I woke up. I didn't tell her, but she saw us together, and smelled that we'd…" I trailed off.

Her furious expression melted and she she hissed through her teeth, "ƒμςκ мε. What was that about marriage? Did she think you and I-" She sucked in a sharp breath shouted, "Did you propose to her? Were you going to get married and then sweet-talked me into bed you ℓιττℓε sнιτ?!"

Insulted, I curled my lip and shouted back, "No! I'd never-"

She pointed at the door and yelled, "Then what the нεℓℓ was that?"

"She thought we were getting married! You, me, and her! She was going to fly out and tell everypony in blintzing town! I had to stop her!" She had to see that! I had to stop Sun Squall!

Everything would fall apart if I didn't.

Everything was falling apart.

Mayree gasped and the wind went out of her sails. "She wants to marry me?!"

Still hot and frustrated, I waved my hooves in the air. "How have you not noticed?! You wanted a pretty little pony to cuddle and she must have fallen in love with you too!"

Then why was she pushing me at Mayree? Something clicked and I felt a chill run up my back, snuffing my anger.

"She was planning to marry me anyway, wasn't she?" I muttered to myself before looking up at Mayree as understanding dawned in her eyes. "If she could get you and me together, our band would muffin-well live happily ever after."

"Jεsμs. That manipulative little мιηχ."

I made a sad little laugh.

Mayree frowned and asked, "What?"

"Reminds me of this sexy alien mare I know who wants me and Squall to make lots of adorable little foals."

She snorted. "Only I don't want to sleep with her!"

"I thought you already did?"

She stamped one of her paws and growled, "Not like that, you pervert! We just cuddled!"

I raised my fores in surrender. "I know, I know. I'm just teasing." I waved my hooves like a foal begging to be picked up. "Come here."

Mayree folded her fores frowned at me.

"Please?"

She sighed, rolled her eyes, and grudgingly knelt. I gently wrapped my fores around her and after a moment she hugged me back. She kissed my cheek and started to pull away but I moved in for another kiss, a longer one, a proper kiss on the lips.

"I love you", I said while touching my nose to hers and gazing into her beautiful eyes.

She looked down and sucked on her lower lip but she finally muttered, "I love you too, you jεяκ."

I nuzzled her cheek and whuffled in her ear.

She giggled and pushed me away before standing up and stretching. Her yawn was contagious and it made my jaw crack and whole body shook as tense muscles relaxed.

I smacked my lips and asked, "So… What are we going to do?"

She wrinkled her pretty nose and said, "I need a shower."

"I mean about Squall."

"I know, but we can't go looking for her like this!"

I nodded. Sun Squall wouldn't need to announce anything if we went into town without showering first.

She strode past me into the kitchen and righted the stool I'd knocked over. "I'm going to put coffee on and make a quick breakfast, toast or something. Go have a shower, but no hour-long soak, okay?"

"Alright." But I hesitated.

It didn't feel right to just go about our morning while Sun Squall was out there somewhere, probably bawling her eyes out. I hope she'd gone home and her family were there to comfort her, but chances were she'd fled to a lonely cloud or cliff. If I had wings, I might find her and… I don't know… Do something to try to make up for hurting her.

Mayree leaned over the counter and asked, "Mainstay? Are you okay?"

I shook my head while breathing a shaky sigh. "No, I'm not, and I really, really want to be okay. I should be so much more than okay!"

She came out of the kitchen to lay a comforting hand on my withers. "It's not how I imagined this morning would go either. I didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't this!" She sighed and gave me a gentle shake. "It is what it is, so get cleaned up and I'll grab a shower while you eat."

I tried to rush in the shower, but my hide was matted with sweat, old and new, and I was sticky and crusted in places. Places that got roughly scrubbed twice to remove any telltale scent. While Mayree showered, I gulped a steaming hot mug of coffee and nibbled the toast she'd left out for me.

I'd have a sour gut, but I just wasn't hungry.

Mayree finally came out of her bedroom wearing a simple white shirt and blue pants. She looked thoughtful and determined as she tied her dripping wet mane into a pony's tail. I dropped my mug into the sink and gave the remains of my toast a last uninterested look while she shoved her paws into shoes and grabbed a light jacket.

I stopped and stared out to sea as she locked the door. Princess Celestia's light turned the dry brown grass golden, but the chill ocean air smelled of rain, and a grey haze on the horizon promised we'd be getting wet by nightfall. A league or so offshore, the white sails of a trawler billowed in the stiff breeze as it slowly dragged its vast nets behind it.

"Come on stud, the sooner we find her the sooner we can stop worrying", Mayree said while patting my withers.

"It's not just that." Fishing for a laugh, I pouted and made sad-puppy eyes at her. "We won't get to scrape barnacles today."

She smirked and shoved me off the porch deck. "They're muffin barnacles! They'll still be there when we get back. You head into town and I'll look for her along the cliffs, right?"

"Right, and we all meet back here at noon."

She nodded and made a shooing motion. "Sounds like a plan. Go on."

I looked back before rounding The Hump and spied Mayree disappearing over the crest of a hill with her hands cupped around her muzzle as she called Sun Squall's name.

The Hump got it's usual pat, because I could really use some luck right now, and I screwed up my courage to walk through town. I trotted along the cobbled lane with a hollow smile plastered to my muzzle for everypony to see. I nodded to Abalone as she swept the steps of her store and waved to the crew shovelling coal into the cliffside hoist's steam engine. As I passed the harbour path, I forced myself to not look down — my sloop would have to wait patiently for another day.

Sun Squall's home was on the rich-side of town.

Her parents weren't noble, but they'd made a small fortune in snowflake futures. The red brick ground floor of the mansion bustled with activity as their servants cleaned up from breakfast and started preparing the usual extravagant lunch. Everything looked normal down here at least, aside from my tummy grumbling at the mouth-watering scent of fresh-baked pastry. I moved past the window, pulled on the bell chain, and a few minutes later their hoofstud answered.

A tall, lean pegasus with a gleaming dark purple coat and short-cropped yellow and white mane slicked back into an oily-looking cap. He always looked like he'd just smelled something awful, with his nose in the air and disappointed frown.

The corners of his mouth tightened and pulled even lower when he caught sight of me.

"Good morning, Mister Mainstay. How may I be of service?"

I coughed into a hoof and said, "Hi, Wingstone. Do you know if Squall is home?"

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Mmm… Lady Sun Squall returned an hour past and refused to take breakfast with the family. She did not look well and complained of a headache before retiring to her room."

I deflated as a bit of tension left me — at least she wasn't completely alone.

"Could you tell her I'd like to see her?"

His only response was a tightening of his permanent frown.

"Please? It's important."

He sighed like this was the worst thing anypony had ever ask him to do and grumbled, "I am loath to disturb her rest… but perhaps she will feel hale once more after you apologise for however you've upset her this time."

His snoot-in-the-air Canterlot attitude usually put my back up, but today I just hung my head.

He snorted and told me, "Wait here", then flew up to the sculpted clouds tethered a dozen stories high over the servant's ground floor.

Sun Squall and her family lived in a classical pegasus mansion, designed by some fancy-pants architect in Cloudsdale. It had many fluted pillars, crystal windows, and even a sparkling rainbow falls which the stiffening breeze was blowing away before it plunged into its marble fountain on the ground. You could fit half of Smile Harbour's humble stone buildings into it and have room to spare.

It was only a few minutes before Wingstone landed, straighten his tight uniform jacket, and told me, "The Lady is refreshing herself and will be down shortly. Would you care for tea?"

"Uh, no. Thank you." My nerves were already taught with coffee and worry.

He nodded sharply and went inside.

I sat on cold flagstones and stared up at the clouds, watching for her sunny orange coat. Patience is a fisherpony necessity, and I'd learned to let my mind drift after casting nets into the brine. Hours could pass in the blink of an eye. But now time had slowed to a crawl and all I could think of was the terror in Sun Squall's eyes.

Gulls circled and dipped, crying to one another as they waited for the ships to make port so they might steal an easy meal.

She leaped from the cloud and I scrambled to my hooves, ready to give chase if she flew away again, but Sun Squall tipped a wing and descended in a slow spiral. She landed hard and hung her head, almost touching her muzzle to the ground. Her wings! She quickly tucked them against her sides but I'd seen the damage — gaps where primaries were missing and ragged holes torn from the softer feathers.

I winced and held myself back, though I wanted to scoop her up between my fores and keep her safe. I was what she needed to be kept safe from.

"Hi."

She whispered, "Hi", in a husky voice.

"Can we talk?"

A noncommittal feminine grunt.

Staff ponies were probably keeping an eye on us through the windows at my back. I thought about asking her to come back to Mayree's with me, but then I had a better idea. There was a familiar place which was out in the open, less confining if she wanted to keep away from me, and where there were no nosey busy-bodies.

"Umm… Want to help me scrape barnacles?"

That brought her head up a little so she could stare at me with red and puffy eyes.

"Okay", she said with a ghost of a smile.

Thank the stars she still trusted me! I wouldn't want to be alone with somepony who'd knocked me down, yelled in my face, and broke my heart.

I led her on a slow, silent walk down to the harbour.

My sloop waited in its stout frame near the cliff, far away from both high tide and prying ears. The twins would be busy in the shed, getting ready for today's catch, and with the ships out to sea there was nopony else around. I unlatched the chest of tools I'd rented, grabbed a scraper, and stepped back so Sun Squall could pick one. We walked over to my sloop's crusty keel. It would be easier to start at the waterline and work our way down, but I hadn't set up the scaffolding yet. So, I dug in at a random spot on the starboard bow, flexing my powerful neck muscles to pry off a disappointingly small chunk. Sun Squall stood back until I'd roughly cleared a strip and then moved up beside me, not quite touching, and started work on the crusted plank above mine.

"I'm sorry", I muttered around the scraper's handle. "Sorry that I pushed you down and-", I grunted while prying at a big barnical, "-and yelled at you."

She frowned and yanked free a cluster of barnacles, then swung her neck hard to ram the scraper in again!

I winced and hoped my poor boat would survive.

Another yard or so and I caught her quite sniffle. Her cheek fur had fresh wet tracks running through it.

I mumbled around the scraper's handle, "Squall… I…"

She spat hers on the rocks and yelled, "Why?!"

Her wings flared as she rounded on me and I winced, thinking she was going to clobber me. But she just shouted at me, "Why, Mainstay?! Why would you…" Her voice caught and she sobbed, "It was so perfect and… And…

"What did I do wrong?!" she wailed and buried her face in her hooves.

My scraper clattered to the rocks and gingerly reached out to touch her shoulder. When she didn't flinch away, I slowly wrapped my fores around her and held her while she cried. She uncovered her eyes and pulled me closer. Not knowing what to say I nuzzled between her ears until she stopped shaking and her sobs quieted.

She pressed her hooves against my chest and gently pushed me back.

Was that how miserable I'd looked when I got the letter? My heart ached at having hurt this beautiful mare who'd reached out to me when I was friendless and then held me together when I was falling apart.

I coughed to try to clear the lump in my throat.

"You scared me."

"Huh?" She blinked at me with red-rimmed blue eyes.

I grimaced and said, "You scared the muffins out of me, Squall, but I shouldn't have shoved you down and yelled at you."

"I don't understand. Why were you scared when everything was finally coming together! You and Mayree and me were-"

"Not going to get married." It hurt to see her flinch, but I had to be clear about this. "I'm sorry, but we're not. Mayree and I… It's… I'm not sure what will happen next, but the last thing she needs is pressure from me proposing or the whole blintzing town talking about us."

She sniffed and asked, "Why aren't you sure about Mayree? I mean, you two love each other, right?"

"Yes, but we're still finding out what that means."

Sun Squall snorted and flatly said, "It means you get married, duh."

"It's not that simple!"

"Yes it is! It's what will make you both happy, I know it!"

Was that what her cutie mark was telling her?

I sighed and said, "I'm not saying we won't ever get married, but I am sure Mayree isn't ready for that yet. She only just said that she loves me before we started looking for you."

"Really?" she asked while cocking her head. "When did you two first…?" She tapped her fore hooves together suggestively.

"Heh." My ears flicked back as I blushed and admitted, "Last night."

"But I was away for half a moon! I thought you'd be all over each other without me there being a third wing."

"You did?"

She nodded, "My cutie mark was on fire around you two but I couldn't think of any more ways to help! Other than maybe stripping Mayree naked and shoving you on top of her."

I snorted. "I'm glad you didn't."

"It would've been fun to try." Sun Squall smirked, then shook her head and sighed. "I'm sorry for being so eager when I found you in her bed. Everything seemed so perfect now that you and Mayree are finally together, and I love you so-"

"You do?"

She frowned and poked me with a ragged wing. "You didn't notice all the times I asked you to marry me?!"

"I thought you were joking."

"I- I guess I kinda was…"

"And you love Mayree too?"

She nodded and scuffed at the beach, digging a hole in the stones. "I do, but we talked after you told her that I like mares… Thank you for that."

"I'm sorry", I mumbled. Seemed like I had a lot to make up for.

Sun Squall tipped my chin up with a hoof and said, "No, I really mean it — thank you. I was too scared to tell her how I felt but you got us talking." She sighed. "Even if it didn't work out how I'd hoped."

"She doesn't like mares?"

"She doesn't like ponies that way… except for you. You're perfect together and I hoped we could all be married, sort of, if you loved Mayree and me." Her head drooped until her nose almost touched the stones. "But you don't, do you?"

What I'd said to Mayree last night echoed in my mind, about how it would be easy to fall for Sun Squall, and she'd prodded me and asked why I didn't. Well, why not? I loved everything about Sun Squall so why didn't I love her?

Taking my silence as an answer she spread her damaged wings and crouched, preparing to leap into the air.

To fly away from me.

Like she had.

My heart lurched, and I reached out for her and cried, "Wait!"

Her hinds hadn't even left the ground. Sun Squall flapped her wings a few times while giving me a confused look before she settled back to the stones.

"I don't… I mean… I think, maybe, it's because you're a pegasus!"

Sun Squall's lip curled in disgust. "You're not a triba-"

"No! No, not like that." I took a few steps toward her and she flared her wings and backed away. "You remember what I said about Silver Lining leaving us, after my sister disappeared?"

She frowned. "I'm not her, Mainstay."

"I know that! It's not fair to blame you for what she did, but it makes me so angry how she flew away when things got choppy. She didn't even try! Please, just, promise me you won't leave like that. I know I'm an idiot sometimes, but at least give me a chance if things get rough."

She bit her lip and ruffled her wings a few times, but they settled to her sides and she nodded. "I promise."

Tension bled out of me at hearing those two simple words. I wanted to run to her, scoop her up, and never let go, but her tattered wings reminded me there was a painful price for rushing in like a foal. I forced myself to sit and hold out my fores in invitation.

"Hugs?"

After what I'd put her though she should have slapped me — I would have. Instead she kissed my cheek and squeezed the breath out of me with a hug that made my ribs creak. Her wings popped open as I wrapped my fores around her, but not to fly, she folded them around me.

I kissed her cheek and softly told her, "I love you."

This time it wasn't a mistake. I wasn't blurting it out by accident.

She sighed and relaxed against me. "I love you too. But, what about Mayree?"

"She went north to search for you."

"That's not what I meant!"

"I know. We're going to meet at her place for lunch, and we'll talk."

Muffins, but things were even more of a mess now.

Sun Squall squinted up at the sun and said, "We've got some time… Want scrape off a few more barnacles?"

I chuckled nervously and kissed her cheek. "I'd love to."

That word was easier to say every time I used it. I'd have to be careful of that.

We only cleared another yard or two as the sun's shadow retreated to the foot of the cliffs, since it's not easy to work and talk with a scraper wedged between your teeth. Mostly, I told her about what had happened while she was away. She cooed over my description of that sappy romantic evening at the pub, and I barely resisted her cute pout when she demanded details about how humans make love.

On the walk through town we stopped at the bakery to buy unicornish pasties, and the delicious scent coming from the paper bag clenched between my teeth made my empty belly howl! She stuck close by my side as we walked, pressing her shoulder and flank to mine. I was nervous too and we paused to hug on the porch before stepping inside.

Mayree wasn't back yet, so I put the kettle on and we waited, but she never came home.

I found a note on her bed.

Don't forget ~ lots of adorable little foals.
Mayree

16 - Mary Mary

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"Slowly… Slowly… A bit to the left", Sun Squall called down.

She hovered over my sloop as it drifted through the air toward Smile Harbour's pier.

Breeze and Wave looked to me for direction, so I shrugged and waved for them to shift her left a little. It wouldn't make any difference, other than making Sun Squall happy, and that was a good enough reason. Her sleek hull, gleaming with a coat of hayberry red, sank below the waves — it was almost a shame to hide our hard work.

I crouched to leap aboard and throw the lines ashore. I'd scuff up her renewed deck, but that was bound to happen sooner or later, so it might as well be-

"Hang on", Chill Wave panted while pushing me back with a hoof. "Bro, you got the bow?"

Breeze nodded. He looked blown, with head hanging and dripping sweat, but his horn sputtered to life and drew the coiled bow line into his hooves while Wave took care of the stern.

I grudgingly grumbled, "Thank you", to Wave as I paid them.

"No problem, dude. Happy to help."

Everypony was so muffin polite to me these days, so concerned and sympathetic, and it felt as if they were grinding sand into a fresh cut. The twins trotted off into their dockside shed to dunk their over-heated horns in buckets of ice water.

Sun Squall wrapped a wing around my shoulders and we gazed at my sloop's bow gently bobbing in the harbour's waves — she looked pleased to be back in her element. Taking her out tomorrow would be so, so, very, very… nice.

Not thrilling, just a relief.

"It's going to be a little weird", said Sun Squall.

"Hmm?"

She gestured with a wing tip at the looping, fancy letters in white paint on her prow: 'Мαяλ' and below that a smaller 'Mayree', for ponies like me who hadn't learned to read human.

"If anypony asks me, 'Where's Mainstay?' I'll have to tell them-" She sang, "Out riiiding Maaayree, o'er the bouncy main!"

She snickered as I slugged her shoulder and grumbled, "Don't be so blintzing crude." But I cracked a smile and chuckled while nuzzling her ear.

We had to take what joy we could when we could.

Tomorrow I'd bring the traps down, and 'Mayree' and I would go out to try our luck catching the last of the ice crab. The town's weather team were already corralling wild clouds for our first big snowfall, which was scheduled for next Moon's Day. Soon everypony would be huddled indoors around crackling fires, sipping hot cocoa, and chewing the hay over everything that had happened this season. I hoped my teeth were up to it — we'd had a busy year.

Sun Squall pranced and fluffed her wings. "Come on! Bet I can beat you to the post office!"

I rechecked Mayree's lines and nodded. "Alright, but hooves only, no flying."

She grinned and crouched, wagged her rump in the air, and pawed at the dock. "Deal! Loser has to clean the dishes."

My sides were heaving by the time I staggered into town, and I'd be doing the washing up again. That was okay. Sun Squall had won fair and square, and the run had blown the last gloomy cobwebs out of my mind. As usual, there was no mail for either of us. We'd both written a letter to Princess Luna to ask, beg in my case, for any news of Mayree, but she'd hadn't replied.

Not yet anyway.

After I found her note, we'd searched the hills and cliffs, desperate and dreading what we might find, before galloping into town and raising the alarm. Sun Squall went to her friend, the Mayor, to organise a search while I ran from door to door, yelling my foal head off. Thank the stars Tin Whistle had spotted her boarding the noon train to Los Pegasus! Relieved and furious, I'd immediately gone to buy a ticket for the next one, but Sun Squall talked me out of it. Her special talent, or more likely commonsense, told her that Mayree just needed some alone time to think.

Where could I even look for her? Canterlot? Earth?

I could only hope Sun Squall was right and Mayree would return when she was ready.

After a splash in the public baths we trotted around The Hump and settled down in my old shed to make dinner.

Moving my bed and few possessions back had been quick and painful, but I couldn't stand living in Mayree's house. My heart ached every time I didn't hear her working at her typewriter, didn't smell her cooking a fancy human dish in the kitchen, and didn't find her curled up with a book in my room. Her scent was everywhere, going stale, and photographs of her smile reminded me I might never see it again. The photo she'd torn a human stallion off of made me want to scream!

It was dark by the time I finished washing up. Sun Squall lazed on my bed, reading a glossy magazine from Earth, and after stoking my stove I crawled under the warm blanket with her. I wasn't looking forward to living in my drafty old shed through winter.

I nuzzled her mane and asked, "Will you come out with me tomorrow?"

"Mmmmm", she hummed as I nibbled an ear. "Love to, but I can't. I promised to help hang Hearth's Warming decorations on the lane."

"So early?"

I turned the wick down on my lantern as she tossed her magazine on the floor. "Well, we want to have them up before the first snow."

"Ah, I guess that makes sense. See you in the pub for lunch then?"

She nodded and snuggled up beside me. Sun Squall usually stayed the night these days because she 'hated leaving me on my own'. But being alone was like an old shoe to me — dirty and worn and uncomfortable, but familiar. Not that I didn't enjoy having her here, but I'm sure it was more that she needed my company, despite living in a mansion full of servants and family.

We kissed and cuddled, and that's as far as that went. Maybe someday one of us would propose, but not today.

Hopefully not tomorrow.

Not until we were certain Mayree wasn't coming home.

17 - Storm

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A wave crashed over Mayree's bow, sending stinging spray into my weeping eyes.

I clutched the tiller as we careened into a deep trough and I nearly collapsed when slippery decking slammed into my hooves. Mayree lurched and tilted as we rose up the next impossibly high swell. Tatters of her jib snapped in the howling gale, and the boom swept back and forth, dangerously close to my head, as the mainsail luffed and bellied.

I risked a terrified glance over my shoulder. Discord's Fang loomed, its insane red eye winking, growing ever closer as the waves hurled us toward a watery grave.

"ENOUGH!" a deep mare's voice boomed louder than thunder, and everything froze.

Except me. I whipped round and through my dripping locks I saw something far more terrifying than sharp rocks.

Her armoured hooves rang as she stepped over snapped and snarled rigging, and her glorious mane-of-stars rippled in the now non-existent wind. Dark and threatening as a headspony's axe, her head swung low until her sneering muzzle almost brushed mine.

Princess Luna glared into my petrified eyes and spoke in a voice that shook my soul, "We are coming for thee."

18 - Something Olde

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"Auurgh!"

THUD!

Sun Squall gasped and shot up in bed. "Mainstay!"

I groaned.

She leaned over the edge to peer down at me with sleepy curiosity. "Why are you down there?"

"I muffin-well fell out!" What did it look like I was doing?! I struggled with the blanket tangled around my hooves and muttered, "It was just a bad dream." I hope — Princess Luna was supposed to help ponies having a nightmare, not help them have a nightmare!

"Awww…" She rolled over onto her back and stretched like a cat. "Mmmf… I was having a super nice one before you woke me — we were flying over Canterlot, Princess Luna and me, and we got ice cream, and she said that she's sending a carriage to-"

Her drowsy eyes popped open.

"Oh, my stars and strudel!" She rolled over and grabbed my shoulders. "I think she really is sending a carriage to take us to Canterlot! Do you think it's about Mayree?!"

"I… Maybe?" That might be what the princess meant by 'coming for me'?

"We're going to see Mayreeeee! Eee hee hee hee heeeeee!"

I ducked as Sun Squall leaped out of bed and galloped around my little shed, running loops about the cluttered table, knocking nets, and floats, and traps flying! I managed to catch her on the third lap and we tumbled to the floor laughing.

We were going to see Mayree!

Maybe.

Princess Luna, definitely.

Sun Squall was too excited to sleep, especially after I told her about meeting the princess in my nightmare, as that cinched it. It wasn't just her wishful dreaming. She kept an eye out for our ride while I puttered about making an early breakfast, since I didn't dare crawl back into bed either. I was too scared of who might be waiting for me. The hour when I should have hoofed it to the harbour and taken Mayree out on her maiden voyage came and went. It wasn't until dawn that an alabaster and gold carriage flew out of the sunrise, pulled by a pair of armoured pegasi and flanked by two more. They dove past Mayree's house and out over the sea, then banked around to make for Smile Harbour. There was nowhere in the hilly, rocky ground north of The Hump to land a carriage the size of a yacht, I guess.

Most of the townponies were out on the lane or leaning out of windows, eyes wide with wonder, when we galloped into town. It was probably the first time any of them had seen a Royal Guard!

Tongues would be wagging for years.

Guards hustled us on board, smiling and waving at the gathering, and before I could catch my breath, we shot away into the sky!

There must have been alicorn magic involved because we went faster than I'd ever gone in my life! Sun Squall pranced about, peered over the sides as Equestria rolled past, far, far below, or stared at the toned rumps of the guards pulling us. After throwing up, mostly over the side, I sprawled on my sick belly and clung to the floor for dear life! Sun Squall eventually settled next me and took me under her wing.

I woke with a start at a sudden sinking sensation. We were in a rapid descent and the gold domes and gleaming white towers of Canterlot hove into view. Moments later we rolled to a stop in a courtyard of the spectacular palace.

I left a tip for the unfortunate pony who had to clean up the carriage.

A young court page greeted us and led the way through a warren of hidden passages. Sun Squall's eager anticipation faded and she stuck close to my side, shivering nervously. I was on edge too, wondering and worrying if Mayree — or Princess Luna — was around the next corner. But we only saw other palace staff as the page led us to the fabulous Royal Baths; a fantastic undersea-themed grotto of ceramic and brass.

Thank Celestia they had studly scented soap!

Once we were presentable, four guards escorted us through the gardens.

It was lush as a summer's day, even up the side of a blintzing mountain and with the first snow around the corner. I'm sure it was spectacular, amazing, breath taking, and I should have been gobsmacked by the sculpted bushes, exotic blooms, and gleaming statues of Equestria's heroes and villains, but I didn't spare any of it a second glance. Rounding a curved yew hedge cut with razor-sharp precision we stepped off of the marble path onto a fresh green lawn that smelled heavenly to my empty growling belly. A human figure stood tall beneath the roof of a pure white gazebo, wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat and a dark grey jacket.

I shouted, "Mayree!"

The guards must have been ordered to let me go if I ran. My hooves tore up clods as I galloped and I heard Sun Squall's wings thump the air as she followed.

I clattered up the marble steps shouting, "Thank the stars! I miss you so much! Are you-" I skidded to a stop and my rump slammed down onto cold stone.

"ωεℓℓ, нεℓℓο. ι'м sοяяλ, βμτ ι δοη'τ sρεακ εφμεsτяιαη. λομ мμsτ βε Mehnchteh." My mane blew across my eyes as Squall touched down next to me. "αηδ λομ'яε Sskwahrl? нεℓℓο."

"What? But-"

Sun Squall bumped shoulders with me and stated the obvious, "That's not Mayree and she said she doesn't speak Equestrian but she knows who we are."

Her mane was cut shorter than Mayree's, and curlier, pale gold and silver. The skin of her face was ruddy and wrinkled with a pair of black-framed glasses perched on her small upturned nose. The grey clothing she wore covered her whole body, which was obviously much heavier. Obvious now. And she wasn't as tall, she didn't loom over us like Mayree did.

I missed her looming.

"ι'м мαяλ's ρsλςнοτнεяαριsτ, δοςτοя ςℓαяκ." She bent to hold out a hand.

Sun Squall tapped her hoof against the mare's hand, and told me, "She's a doctor of some kind."

"A doctor?" I politely touched hoof to hand, and even though I knew she didn't speak Equestrian, I asked, "Is she alright? What happened? Where is she?" My empty tummy twisted with anxiety! Had Mayree left because she was secretly ill? Was she dying?! Was she… pregnant?!

A musical laugh from deeper within the gazebo caught my attention. In the centre of the exquisite structure was an equally exquisite table overflowing with flowers, a silver tea set, and a platter of baked treats. A tall and very pink alicorn reclined on a cushion on the far side.

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza! Empress of the Crystal Empire and Princess of Mending Hearts!

"Mayree is fine. We're all here to discuss what happened and what will happen. She is here too, at the palace, and you'll be seeing her soon, I promise", she said in a sweet voice that untied the knots in my heart and belly. "Won't you please join me for tea?"

Princess Cadenza was gorgeous and radiant and, unlike the other alicorn I'd met, she didn't utterly terrify me. Quite the opposite — she filled me with hope!

And tea and cake.

Sun Squall and the doctor sat across from me, talking in human-gibberish while I crammed a pink-frosted cupcake into my mouth. My tummy rumbled its appreciation.

Princess Cadenza's giggle chimed like tiny silver bells. She lowered a demure hoof from her dainty muzzle and asked, "May I cast a babble spell on you? I could translate, but a touch of magic would make things much easier."

I swiped frosting off my lip and said, "Yes, please." I noticed the napkin and shamefully scrubbed my hock clean.

The princess didn't notice or at least didn't care about my poor table manners. She graced me with an amused smile as her horn glowed pink and sparkled and, for a moment, so did I.

My ears popped.

"-abandon you, but she blamed herself for what happened and thought that leaving would give you and Mainstay the best chance for a — in her words — a real relationship." The doctor's growls and hisses had become a warm melody of compassion.

"But it wasn't her fault!" Sun Squall whimpered and said, "They're meant to be together but I was mean and selfish thinking Mainstay would marry both of us."

Hearing her chirpy voice in my ear but watching her lips say something completely different made my fur bristle.

Princess Cadenza whispered, "You're welcome."

I blushed and whispered back, "Thank you, Your Majesty."

"We were so perfect together as friends and…" Sun Squall sighed and shook her head, "I wish we could just be friends again. Do you think she'll forgive me?"

The doctor patted her hoof. "I'm almost certain she will. Mayree has told me that she wished to undo what happened and she hoped that you would be willing to forgive her."

"Really?"

The doctor nodded and hummed as she forked a bite of strawberry shortcake into her muzzle.

My heart sank. Mayree wished she could undo that night? I guess… things had been simpler before I fell in love with her.

After sipping her tea the doctor told Sun Squall, "I don't believe any of you alone is to blame for what happened. You assumed Mayree wouldn't accept your feelings, and she believed she knew what was best for everypony.

"I'm sure you could have avoided so much heartache if you hadn't been secretive and tried to rush things. If you'd talked, openly and honestly, about your desire for more than friendship. I can't promise it won't hurt, but I know that Mayree cares about you a great deal and if you bottle everything up, you'll be lying to her and yourself. You won't have a healthy relationship, whatever it turn out to be."

Sun Squall hung her head, taking the doctor's scolding to heart and looking pretty miserable. I stretched across the table to hold her hoof and she looked up and met my eyes.

"I'll try", she told me with a trembling smile.

The doctor said, "Good. That's all anypony can ask."

Sun Squall sniffed, put on a brave smile, and sat up straighter.

"Mainstay?"

"Ye-" My throat caught and I coughed. "Yes?"

"Can you understand what I'm saying now?"

"Yes, I can understand you."

"Excellent! The magic seems to affect my ears as well. Thank you, Your Majesty." She nodded to Princess Cadenza before turning her wise old eyes back to me.

"Mayree an I have spoken at great length regarding you and I suspect some of this situation may be because you're still dealing with tragic events in your past. Do you think that might be true?"

I glanced Sun Squall's way and she squeezed my hoof. There was no denying it had made things difficult between us.

I nodded at the doctor and said, "Maybe."

"I believe you may benefit from sessions with a professional counselor and I've been in touch with a colleague in Los Pegasus who would like to meet you. Would you like to give it a try?"

I shifted uncomfortably on my cushion and mumbled, "I'll think about it."

"Please do. I will let him know we spoke, but here is his address if you wish to reach out to him." She took a small scroll from her pocket and set it next to my plate.

"What about Mayree?"

"We'll come to that in a moment. First, I want to ask, do you like me?"

"Um… well, you gave Squall good advice, so I guess you're alright."

"Thank you. How did my asking if you liked me make you feel?"

"Annoyed that I had to think of something nice to say."

She chuckled. "Did you? You could have been honest and said that you don't like me and don't trust nosey strangers. But the reason I asked is to give you a hint of the pressure Mayree felt to respond in kind when you told her that you love her."

"Oh…" A heavy weight settled in my heart. "She doesn't really love me then."

"I didn't say that, but I do know she cares about you… both of you. I've been told that ponies and other talking-species falling in love is not unheard of here-", she glanced at Princess Cadenza, who smiled and nodded. "But nothing like this is possible on Earth. This is all so new to us, Mayree included, that it's bound to be difficult to accept and appreciate at first. You may be eager to rush ahead in your relationship but Mayree needs for you to slow down."

A smile made little crinkles around her eyes and she said, "Other than that, just keep doing what you're doing. I believe that you are very good for one another."

I nodded and my heart fluttered as I exhaled a shaky breath. Mayree had warned me that she didn't trust instant pony friendship and I should have known better than to rush headlong into loving her.

The doctor huffed and stood with some difficulty after having her hinds wedged under the table. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I'd better go. My time here is over and I must catch a train to Ponyville."

"Thanks for your advice", chirped Sun Squall.

"Yes, thank you", I grumbled.

"You're both very welcome. It was a pleasure meeting you and getting to put cute furry faces to names." She bowed to Princess Cadenza, "Thank you for tea, Your Majesty."

"You're welcome. It was lovely meeting you Doctor Scribe, have a safe journey home." She waved as the doctor was escorted from the garden by a pair of guards.

"More tea?" she asked while levitating the silver pot.

"Yes, please. Thank you, Your Highness", said Sun Squall.

"Please, just call me Cadence."

Sun Squall squeaked happily. "Okay… Cadence." Another squeak.

The Princess refilled my cup and nudged the tray of baked treats toward me. "Please, help yourself."

"Ah, thanks, Your- Cadence." I took a slice of the strawberry shortcake the doctor had enjoyed so much.

Sun Squall and the Princess chatted quietly, but I only kept half an ear on their conversation. My eyes were glued to the door through the hedge and the gleaming palace beyond.

Where was she?

Probably getting a report from the nosey doctor.

"Please relax, Mainstay. She'll be here soon."

My ears snapped around to focus on the Princess. Muffins. I'd been pawing at the ground and making little eager grunts, hadn't I? She gave me a fresh napkin to wipe sweat from my face.

I heard hoofsteps and looked up as a white stallion in a red military jacket escorted Mayree through the hedge.

She paused at the entrance and her nervous little smile made my heart clench and ache. Her chestnut mane fell in waves around her shoulder, framing pale pink cheeks that I longed to touch and lips that begged to be kissed! She wore a dress the colour of an oyster shell, blue and green gems scattered in a wave over her barrel, and a long, flowing skirt hid her paws.

She folded her bare fores, rubbed them nervously and said, "Hi."

I couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. What if I opened my muzzle and blurted out something foalish?

Sun Squall sprang from her pillow, galloped across the lawn, and skidded to a halt before crashing into Mayree. I could only see her rump-side but from the way she pranced and mantled her wings I could tell she was also too nervous to speak!

Mayree crouched, pulled her into a hug, and whispered in her ear.

Now the wings swept up and wrapped around her as Sun Squall sobbed, "Mayree!"

Something warm nuzzled my shoulder and I gasped.

"Come on", murmured Princess Cadence as she gave me a shove with her perfect little muzzle. "Your turn."

Mayree freed one of her fores from her cocoon of orange feathers and held it out to me as I stumbled across the lawn on numb legs. She drew me up against her and I nuzzled her mane at last and wuffled against her ear.

Sweet strudel and biscuits but I'd missed her scent.

"I'm sorry", she choked, her throat thick with remorse. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back and stop myself."

Sun Squall sobbed something against her chest and I kissed Mayree's smooth cheek. I'd been angry with her for leaving, but I felt nothing but relief now. She was back!

But would she stay?

Far too soon she said, "Guys? I have to stand up or I'm going to fall over, and Rarity will kill me if I get grass stains on this dress."

Reluctantly, I let her go.

Mayree brushed her hand over Sun Squall's damp cheek and told her, "Smile, silly filly." Sun Squall's trembling lips managed something like a smile.

Princess Cadenza and the stallion who'd escorted Mayree stood shoulder-to-shoulder, a few paces off, heads together and grinning over our sappy reunion. She cleared her throat and asked, "Would you like a tour of the gardens?"

Mayree bared her fangs. "I've already seen them, do you guys want to have a look around?"

Sun Squall sniffled and said, "Y-yes, please."

"Okay, follow me! We'll start at the Fountain of Friendship — it's one of my favourites." Princess Cadence nuzzled the stallion and I realise he must be her husband, Shining Armour.

Mayree rested a hand on my withers as Equestria's most famous romantic couple led us deeper into the garden. Sun Squall pranced along beside them, oohing and ahhing at bushes trimmed into fantastic creatures, exotic trees, statues of historic figures, and acres of beautiful blooms. Like an eager foal she peppered 'Cadence' and 'Shiny' with a million questions.

Mayree scratched her feelers into my shaggy winter coat. "Your fur has really grown out."

"Yes, well, my little wood stove doesn't make much heat and there are a lot of holes in the shed's walls." I walked close, with my shoulder brushing her hip.

"Poop." Her lips said a human word which Princess Cadenza's spell translated. "You moved back to that shack?"

I rumbled, "Mmhmm."

We walked in uncomfortable silence for a while, trailing further and further behind Sun Squall and the others as we entered a maze of rose hedges. She asked, "How have you been?"

There was no point in shugar-coating it. "Miserable. You?"

She sighed. "Miserable."

I stopped, hung my head, and muttered, "I'm sorry."

She crouched, cupped my chin with her hand, and lifted my muzzle so we were nose-to-nose. "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have left like that."

A pair of guards who'd trailed behind our tour backed away to give us privacy and we were alone, more or less, between tall rose hedges. Their dark green leaves and pink blossoms rustled in a cool breeze as I gazed into Mayree's beautiful eyes.

I ached to kiss her! But the doctor's advice to take it slow rang in my mind.

"S-so… What happens now?" I asked cautiously.

"I move back home."

"Home?"

"Home to Smile Harbour. But we need to have that talk — you, Squall, and me."

"Yes, we do." We had to tell her how things had changed between Squall and me, but that could wait for now. I forced myself to ask, "The doctor said you want to… to undo what happened?"

"Yeah, it got out of hand… Out of hoof? And I have to make things right with you and Squall."

So she still just wanted for me and Squall to be together? I winced and nodded. "Okay."

It would be painful pretending to be friends, but that would be better than never seeing her again. I sidled away and tried to shrug her hand off my shoulder.

She clutched at my mane. "What-?"

"We should get going. I don't want to miss out on the tour." Liar.

"Mainstay."

"Come on." I trotted away from her, pretending to look for the others and blinking my eyes. There must be pollen in the air or something.

"Mainstay, wait! I can't keep up in this tarting dress!"

I stopped and rubbed my eyes while she caught up.

"I thought you didn't- Oh poop, are you crying?"

I sniffed and choked out, "No."

Mayree sighed and dug her feelers into my mane while I panted and struggled to get myself under control. She scratched behind my ears and that calmed me down… muffins but I'd missed that!

"Let's sit down for a minute", she said and led me to a marble bench hidden in a little cove of bushes. She sat, tucking the dress around her slender hinds, and patted the space next to her, "Come on."

I hopped up, turned about, and settled at the far end of the bench, with my tail tucked around my hooves. It wasn't as comfortable as our couch back home.

"So…", Mayree said quietly. "What's up?"

I shifted my rump on the cold marble and shrugged while carefully examining a rose blossom.

She scooted closer and draped a fore over my shoulders. "Come on, Doctor Scribe said that we needed to talk more, so tell me what's going on in that furry head."

I growled and squeezed my lips together, barely holding back a tide of words. That blintzing doctor's advice made no sense! Give her time. Don't tell her I love her. But talk more? Be honest about my feelings? Why were mares so confusing?!

"Mainstaaay…"

"You… You want to undo everything?"

"Yes, I should have stuck around to talk with you and Squall instead of- Wait! You think I mean 'everything' everything?"

I nodded and she laughed!

She laughed and said, "No, not that! Everything that happened after Squall came home."

That brought my head and ears up! "Really?"

"Yes! I don't regret sleeping with you. I thought I would, but I really don't." She sounded almost as surprised as I was. She bit her lip and admitted, "To be honest, it was just supposed to be a pity tart and-"

"Pity tart?!"

She winced and looked away. "I know, that's terrible, and I'm sorry. But, I wouldn't have slept with you if I didn't want to, at least a little, and it was… it was really good, Mainstay." She gave me a heart-stopping smoldering look and impish grin. "Really good! And I think… I think I might be falling in love with you.

"I know you want more than 'maybe', but I can't until I'm sure how I feel about you and me. And then there's Squall. I just… I need…"

She blew out a pent up breath and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Mainstay." Her voice trembled, on the edge of frustrated tears. "I'm not very good at this… talking about my feelings stuff."

She looked ready to curl up into herself or jump up and run away again, so I scooted along the bench and leaned against her side. Her fores wrapped about me and she pulled me close, clinging to me for support, and I was happy to lend her my strong earth pony shoulder. No, not happy, not while the confident, proud mare I'd fallen for was so lost, but relieved that she didn't push me away and I could be there for her.

After a few moments she relaxed and blew a warm breath over my twitching ears. Her hands ruffled my chest fur and she pulled back to sniff and shake her head.

"Sorry", she murmured and sniffed again.

I whinnied a quiet comforting rumble and cuddled up against her side, keeping her close with a fore around her waist.

"Tartarus, why not?" she muttered to herself. "Listen. I was going to ask my father to give you this…"

She reached behind her neck to unhook a thin chain necklace and tugged a pendant from the cleavage between her teats. She held it out to me and I tilted my head to look at it: a miniature unicorn horn ring made of gold, with a round diamond set between two square-cut deep blue sapphires.

"What is it?"

She smiled and asked, "You don't know anything about how humans get married, do you?"

I shook my head. "Not much."

Nothing at all, really.

"Well, this ring belonged to my auntie — her husband gave it to her when he proposed. Dad gave it to our mother when they were married, and his father gave it to his wife, my grand mother. It's been in our family for a long, long time and…" She slipped the necklace over my head. "And I want the stallion I marry to give me this ring when he proposes. Okay?"

I opened my mouth, but she pressed her feelers over my lips. "Not right now! When we're both ready."

When would that be?!

Now would be nice, but it wouldn't be today and probably not tomorrow. So I nodded and simply kissed her cheek, not wanting to push. Mayree grabbed my mane as I sat back and suddenly her lips were on mine! Like the night she'd climbed into my bed, her bold tongue touched me and I opened my mouth to accept. My heart leapt as we shared unspoken passion with our lips and tongues. Her hands groped my cutie marks and I wanted to push her down, tear off her beautiful dress with my teeth, and make love right there in the middle of Canterlot's fancy gardens!

"Awwwwwwwwwww!" Sun Squall cooed.

With a gasp, Mayree's lips left mine and I blinked, startled, and looked around to see my fillyfriend and Princess Cadenza leaning past a hedge, watching us with big, hungry eyes.

The princess grinned and waved a hoof. "Don't mind us!"

Sun Squall giggled with her hooves pressed to her muzzle and I'm sure I heard Shining Armour stifle a laugh somewhere out of sight.

Mayree growled like a tiger and leaped off the bench to attack Sun Squall, who whooped and laughed and didn't try very hard to get away. I snorted, rolled my eyes and ambled over to the princess, and we watched Sun Squall lead Mayree in a silly chase around the hedges.

"Sorry for interrupting", Princess Cadenza murmured to me. "Squall was worried you'd gotten lost."

"It's fine. I think we found one another."

It was corny-sounding but I couldn't resist, and it did make a princess smile.

Once everypony had settled down, we made our way to the Fountain of Friendship. The air sparkled around the huge white marble basin and its gold statues of Princess Sparkle and her friends, the other Guardians of Harmony. It would be nice to meet her someday, but I should at least send her a 'thank you' letter for accidentally creating the Gate and bringing Mayree into my life. It was dry, of course, drained for winter but otherwise kept pristine by the garden staff. Not a single fallen leaf in sight. Shiny entertained Sun Squall with a story about his little sister and I noticed Mayree and Cadence share a look.

The princess' lips quirked in a smile and she made a subtle nod.

Mayree's hand relaxed against my side and she crouched to kiss my cheek. I quickly smootched her cute nose before she could get away.

My hooves rang on marble paving stones as we wandered through the garden. Chest puffed out, tail flagged high, I picked them up and put them down in a studly trot. I was a pipsqueak compared with Shining Armour but I felt huge! A weight was gone from my heart and if Mayree's hand weren't resting on my back, I would have drifted into the sky!

The palace's walls glowed rose as the sun slowly dipped toward the horizon. I'd hardly noticed the afternoon passing. Princess Cadenza and Shining Armour parted company with us and after we'd thanked them for the tour, they went inside, off to prepare for some state function or other.

I expected the guards to escort us back to the carriage, and we'd be on our way home, but they left as well, leaving Mayree, Sun Squall, and me alone on a lush green lawn beside the palace.

"What now?" I asked while bumping against Mayree's hip. "Time to head home?"

Sun Squall pranced up and chirped, "Yeah, let's go!" Her ears flicked back and she asked, "Y-you are coming back to Smile Harbour with us, right?"

Mayree crouched to run a hand through Sun Squall's blue and white mane. She scratched behind her ears and said, "Yes, silly filly, I want to go home and give us a try."

"Us?" Squall asked the question on the tip of my tongue.

Mayree licked her lips nervously and said, "You, Mainstay, and me."

I ducked but wasn't fast enough. My eyes watered as I clutched my stinging muzzle, but Sun Squall didn't seem to feel any pain in the wing she'd clobbered me with.

She leaped on Mayree, shoved her back onto her rump, and squealed, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Mayreeeeee!"

"My dress! Rares is going to kill me!"

Mayree broke down into delighted laughs as Sun Squall frantically nuzzled her cheek. Well, since Sun Squall was getting her grubby hooves all over that beautiful dress, I figured two more wouldn't hurt.

We got such a scowl from Rarity when we showed up in the Royal Changing Rooms.

She insisted that Mayree step behind a screen and undress so that she could cast cleansing spells on the 'poor dear' — the dress, not Mayree. It had suffered mightily in a good cause and required stitches. Rarity muttered to herself while working on it but I caught her casting smiling glances at me and Sun Squall.

A tailor named Silver Thimble, and Podium, a valet, measured, prodded, groomed, and dressed and undressed and redressed me in a starchy shirt and formal jacket.

"Do I have to wear a suit?" I whined as a comb snagged in my mane for the hundredth time. He was putting some kind of flowery goop in it! Ugh! I was going to wind up smelling like a muffin princess again!

"You certainly must!" called Rarity. "Dining with the Princesses requires a certain level of decorum, young stallion."

My blood ran cold. "D-d-dining with the Princesses?"

"Yep", said Mayree as she casually leaned over the top of a dressing screen to watch the show. "It's not often all four are in Canterlot and they want to meet you."

Strudel!

Princess Luna would be there!

An earth pony named Coco wrapped Sun Squall in a flowing cloth-of-gold shawl and something she called a 'palla'. They looked like baggy curtains until a few well-placed gold pins turned them into a classic Pegasopolian outfit that showed off her sleek flanks.

My hooves itched to mess her dress up too.

Mayree whistled and hooted, making Sun Squall's ears flush red.

"Ouch!"

Thimble snorted and plucked his pin out of my shoulder. "If sir does not stop quivering, I can not guarantee a decent fit."

Once the torture was over, Mayree, dressed once more in a pristine gown, bent to kiss me and murmured, "You look very handsome." She tipped my silly top hat to a cocky angle and kissed me again.

Then Sun Squall kissed me.

Maybe fancy dining at the palace wouldn't be so bad…

We had an hour free before execution… dinner, and Mayree took us on a tour. It was past time when they allowed tourists to visit, so other than a few guards and servants trotting about, we had the massive pile of marble to ourselves. Huge chandeliers of cut crystal, filled with candles, cast a warm cosy glow which managed to make the vast echoing spaces seem welcoming and homey.

Mayree told us stories of the weeks she'd spent as Luna's honoured guest: attending operas; visiting galleries, museums, and libraries; star gazing with Princesses Sparkle and Luna; gala after party after dinner with various nobility around Canterlot, often with other humans who'd been invited to visit or emigrate. Until she grew sick of it and moved to our little town. She was happy enough to be here this evening, so I guess Canterlot was like cod liver oil, best taken in small infrequent doses.

A pair of bat-winged guards looked us over with creepy predator's eyes as we entered a long hall where the warmth seemed to be leeched out of the candle and torch light. The fur on my back prickled as shadows flowed around my hocks like a black fog.

"And this is Lulu's wing", Mayree cheerfully announced my doom!

The Princess was going to have Words with me about making her favourite human cry. I just knew it! Words like 'unworthy' and 'how dare thee' and 'dungeon'! I was cold and sweaty under my fancy new shirt and jacket as we walked along a hall made darker by thick velvet curtains over its tall windows. She wouldn't punish me too harshly or send me into exile, would she? That would only upset Mayree even more. But she could easily make me too afraid to ever sleep again!

"Mainstay."

The terrible things Princess Luna could do in my nightmares would make a few years in a damp cell eating bread crusts seem like a vacation!

Mayree pinched my ear. "Mainstay!"

"Ow! What?"

"Were you even listening?"

"I… Uh-"

We'd stopped by a tall arched door made of gleaming black wood with an embossed crescent moon of silver, one of many along the hall. I'd expected the entrance to the Night Court to be more impressive… unless we were meeting the Princess in her private rooms? Was that a good sign? Or did she want fewer witnesses for what she was going to do to me?

Mayree sighed and shook her head as a half-smile played across her beautiful lips. "Okay, well, you're in for a surprise then. I hope you're ready."

Me too!

Sun Squall ruffled her wings nervously and chewed on her lower lip.

Mayree muttered to herself, "Now for the hard part."

Oh sweet stars please keep me from making a mess on Princess Luna's floor!

She pushed the door open and in a fake cheerful tone she called, "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my special someponies."

Muffin tops.