Rainbow Dash plays a text adventure game starring Daring Do, and hilarity ensues.
It's no secret that Rainbow Dash is a huge fan of everypony's favorite explorer, Daring Do. But could there possibly be anything more awesome than the many books in the series?
One day, Twilight discovers an old copy of the Infocolt text adventure, "Daring Do & The Search for the Emerald Equine" in the Library's storage room, and, knowing the extents of Rainbow Dash's love for the Daring Do series, she gives it to the pegasus to play on her old Mareintosh computer for a while.
But how will Rainbow fare in the lost world of interactive text adventures? Will she fall victim to the dreaded "unwinnable scenario"? Or will Rainbow Dash actually succeed in the most 'hooves-on book' she's ever read?
...And what about her friends? When there aren't any strategy guides to reach for, will they be willing to help Rainbow during the many pitfalls on her virtual journey through oceans of text? And will she ever stop playing and just take a break?!
It was no secret that everypony in the town of Ponyville was as kind and friendly as could be. Nor was it secretive that everypony was some degree of crazy, at least according to a certain purple unicorn. And it was most certainly not kept under wraps that a party was thrown at least thrice a week here.
What was a secret (at least, at one point) was Rainbow Dash’s love for a certain popular book series: Daring Do.
But, as everypony knows, secrets can’t hold forever. Especially since the rainbow-maned pegasus almost got herself jailed because of it (she tried to steal a copy of the first book from the hospital when she was unable to finish it). That was the day that her secret was out, but her friends didn’t care. In fact, they openly praised her newfound love of books.
It was then, that the Daring Do series evolved from a “like”, to a “love”, and then to “unquestionably, undeniably, her greatest obsession EVER” (not counting the famed Wonderbolts, of course, which rates just one more notch up the ladder). To date, Rainbow Dash has read every book in the current “Core 16” series, along with several other books in the Daring Do Expanded Universe.
…Yeah, that was an awful lot of books. But RD didn’t care what others thought about it. So what if she was a hardcore fan of Daring Do? It isn’t one of the most popular Equestrian book series’ for no reason!
But as great as all these books were, Rainbow couldn’t help but want more. Could there be anything more profound than another book in the super-awesome Daring Do series? Could there?
Apparently, there was. One day, while Rainbow Dash was doing one of her daily flyovers of Ponyville, she heard a voice from below call out to her.
“Hey! Rainbow Dash!”
At the sudden and familiar voice, the cyan pegasus skidded to a stop (yes, skidded, in midair), and jerked her neck to look backwards. A familiar unicorn with a purple coat and dark-purple mane was waving a hoof to her.
“Twilight!”
With excitement, Rainbow Dash turned at flew at breakneck speed towards her friend that was calling out to her. Twilight wasn’t quite as prepared for the pegasus’s sudden charge, and the only reaction the unicorn could manage were widened eyes and the words “OH BU—” before impact.
Both ponies were sent tumbling across the ground for a few yards from the collision. Rainbow recovered first, jumping to her hooves as soon as they both stopped rolling like nothing was wrong. All those years of high speed flights and equally high velocity impacts have toughened her up somewhat.
“D-do you have to do that every time, Rainbow Dash?!” Twilight exclaimed, slowly dragging herself to her hooves and giving the pegasus a critical look. She had to double check she was still wearing her saddlebags; Celestia knows that it’s been thrown clean off on more than a few occasions.
Rainbow only grinned. “Yeah, sorta. So, what’s up?”
Twilight raised an incredulous eyebrow at her friend’s odd perkiness, but shrugged it off with a huff. “I was just going to tell you, that—”
“IS THE NEXT DARING DO BOOK OUT YET?!” Rainbow Dash squealed, pressing her face straight into Twilight’s and very much invading her personal space. Her eyes were positively glowing with eagerness. “IS IT? WELL, IS IT?!”
“Uh… no,” Twilight said plainly, and the pegasus’s look of excitement deflated like an old balloon. “But, I still do have something that should interest you.”
Rainbow Dash finally leaned away from Twilight, and her eyes wandered off in another direction, choosing to examine a rather attractive-looking clump of dirt. “Yeah, yeah…”
“Oh, don’t look so down in the mouth!” Twilight cooed, shaking her head and laughing at the pitiful pegasus’s personal plight. Ooh, alliteration! “It’s still a part of the Daring Do series!”
“…!” Rainbow Dash snapped back to reality, and locked her sights back on Twilight in barely a wink. “R-really?! But… you said it wasn’t a book!”
“That’s right; it’s not a normal book. It’s a different kind of book,” the unicorn clarified. “You see, when I was sifting through the Library’s storage room, I found a bunch of pretty old stuff. Along with some old books that were filled with spells and charms by obscure authors, I also happened upon…” Twilight’s horn glowed, and a small, rectangular box was lifted out of her saddlebags. “…this.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened with both wonder and slight mystification as Twilight levitated the box into her waiting hooves. The box was mostly black, but the top portion had several shades of green ranging from light to dark. Right there in the center of the box, was a sepia-toned image of the audacious pegasus explorer herself: Daring Do!
“‘D-Daring Do and the Search for the Emerald Equine’…?” she read the title aloud. Her hooves trembled slightly as she held the box. “Um… ‘For use on: Mareintosh’? Twi, what does that mean?”
Twilight grinned. Rainbow Dash could’ve seen the incoming history lesson coming from 10 miles away. “I’m glad you asked! You see Rainbow Dash, a Mareintosh is a type of magically-powered computer that can perform a number of automated duties, like calculating numbers, writing reports, or just… in this case, having fun. They were made in Canterlot by a pair of well-known unicorn technicians. You see, those two have been in business together for years apparently, and one day they—”
“Twiliiiiiight!” Rainbow Dash whined, urging her to get to the point already. This was too much learning as it was for one day.
“Ooh, um… sorry. Anyway, when the Mareintosh started to get popular, a company that was then-called InfoColt decided to make programs for the new machine. Some of them were practical programs, and others were games… like this one!” She tapped a hoof on the box Rainbow held.
The cyan pegasus stared at the box with awe. “So this is… a game? A game… with Daring Do?! In all of her adventuring awesomeness?!”
“Yes, actually!” Twilight confirmed, nodding. “InfoColt was making games around the time that Daring Do started to get popular with all the kids, and they decided to license an original text-based adventure game! It was actually quite interesting; they apparently worked with the original author of the “Core 16” series to make it!”
“An amazing adventure… made by the same amazing author?!” Rainbow Dash couldn’t believe what she was hearing. But she oh-so-very-much wanted to. And lo, it was actually real! It didn’t matter if she believed it or not! The pegasus positively squealed with excitement.
“From what I heard, yes. It’s a bit of a shame though…” Twilight sighed, and continued on her ‘lesson’. “The Mareintosh never caught on. The energy usage and cost was just absurd, and they were also crazy expensive to buy in the first place. At its height, you could expect to lose 20000 bits for such a machine.”
Rainbow Dash paused for a moment. And then her jaw fell open. “Whaaaaaaat?! That’s crazy! That’s like… ten year’s worth of apples, or apple pie! You could buy a fancy house with that much cash!”
“Exactly,” Twilight concurred. “And so, only the rich and powerful could afford such a thing. Because of such a high price and limited market their popularity stagnated, and the model was discontinued. Nopony’s ever made any more of them since. I think a few old ponies in Canterlot might still have them in their attic somewhere, though.”
“…Wait,” the rainbow-maned pegasus interjected, starting to wonder something. “If those Marein-thingys were so expensive… why do you have this game? Wouldn’t you need a… thingy-tosh, to play it?”
Twilight chuckled. “It’s pronounced, ‘Mareintosh’. And yes, I already have one. It was among the things that were stashed away in the storage room. I’d brought it over from Canterlot when I first figured out that I was moving into Ponyville permanently.”
Rainbow Dash spent a moment blankly staring at Twilight, and then asked, “But how could you possibly afford 20000 bits? You could barely even afford to pay for the damages to the town after the Parasprites multiplied and you botched a spell and they ate half the—”
“AHEM, I thought we agreed never to bring that up ever again,” Twilight interrupted, clearing her throat rather loudly. “As for the cost, I’m the personal student of Princess Celestia, remember? She had a special one commissioned for me. It was already loaded up with a set of all the essential software and stuff. The Daring Do game was… um… well, a minor personal request of mine…”
“You mean just because you’re the princess’s favorite student means you get all kinds of free stuff?!”
Twilight blushed bright red with embarrassment (and slight guilt), and she rubbed a hoof on the back of her neck. “Teehee… um… Well, I was a pretty spoiled filly back then…”
“…Whatever!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, and gazed at the virtual Holy Grail in her hooves. “This is…! So this game is like… the secret, lost adventure of Daring Do?!”
The fan-filly squeal of delight which was heard that day reached such a volume that no volcanic eruption or Ursa Major roar could even hope to achieve. Were it any louder, a Sonic Rainboom might have been set off from the sound waves alone. Yes, apparently that’s somehow possible. It’s not like we really know for sure, nopony’s ever done it while we were looking…
“THAT’S… SO… AWESOME!!” the pegasus gushed, pressing her hooves to her cheeks and giggling like mad. “C-can I… can I play it?! I wanna play it, Twilight! Please, Twi? I’ll pay you! C’mon, be cool!”
“Whoa, whoa… Slow down,” Twilight said placidly, rubbing both of her very sore ears. “Of course you can play it, that’s what I was going to ask you earlier… But the Mareintosh is back at the library, so if you want to—” SWOOOSH! “—follow me back there, I can set up the… Uh… Rainbow Dash?”
Twilight waved a hoof around the pegasus-shaped cloud in front of her for a moment, perplexed when she felt nothing but air. Instants later, the cloud vanished, leaving behind a faint rainbow trail that went straight down the main road of Ponyville… towards the Library.
“Oh no, Rainbow Dash…” the unicorn muttered, and slowly shook her head while sighing. Left with no other option, Twilight began to trot after the fanatical pegasus…
“…I wonder how she’ll react when I tell her that I’ve never actually managed to beat that game."
It took Twilight around five minutes to navigate her way back to the town’s Library. When she arrived, it was clear that Rainbow Dash had gotten here in merely five seconds, if that. And wow, was Rainbow ever cross when Twilight finally showed up.
“What took you so long?!” the pegasus snapped, impatiently stamping the wooden floor with a hoof. “I’ve been waiting here for, like, forever!”
Nearby, a baby dragon was clutching the sides of his head with irritation. “I know it’s been forever for me,” Spike groaned, scowling. “One second, I’m figuring out where the new copies of ‘Equestrian Arts Vol. 5’ go on the bookshelves, and the next, Rainbow Dash bursts in the door and starts yelling in my ear about that Daring Do game and how excited she is about it…”
“Hey! At least somepony around here is!” Rainbow shot back indignantly. Spike just rolled his eyes and walked up the stairs, muttering something about “going back to bed”.
“Hold your haybales Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes with coy amusement. “Do you still have the game with you? Or did you drop it during your little flight?
Rainbow Dash scoffed, and held the box up with her hooves whilst keeping a careful grip on it. “Right here! Who said that I’d ever drop it?” She squealed with glee. “Ohmygoshohmygosh-this-is-so-awesome!! I get to play one of Daring Do’s lost adventures! Eeeeeee!”
Twilight shook her head at Rainbow’s excessive fanfilly-ism, but nevertheless smiled a genuine smile. “Okay, hold on just one second. I need to set up the Mareintosh first.”
While the excited pegasus continued giggling to herself, Twilight trotted into in the basement of the Library. A lot of the science equipment she had commissioned to attempt to study “Pinkie Sense” was still down here gathering dust. She hadn’t much use for it nowadays, even with all the crazy stuff that’s gone on since then. Twilight, apparently, had given up on science to explain stuff by now. But hey, this is Ponyville…
Her storage closet was practically loaded with relics of all kinds. Even after she’d gone and cleaned most of the stuff out, there was still a wealth of amazing (and some not-quite-as-amazing) junk in here. One of them, a box-shaped machine with a glass screen on the front and a keyboard situated below it, caught Twilight’s attention. “There it is!”
It was quite a heavy device, but Twilight was able to heft it with ease (thanks to her levitation magic). With the Mareintosh in tow, the unicorn strode back up the stairs to the main floor, where Rainbow Dash was pacing about impatiently, her wings flared with apparent annoyance.
“What took you so long?!” she exclaimed upon spotting Twilight, and the unicorn just sighed.
“Rainbow Dash, you’ve got to take it easy. I know that you’re excited, but this is something you should really be taking slow. Text adventures are meant to challenge the mind—”
“Yeah yeah, whatever, just set up the thingy already!”
Twilight gave the pegasus a deadpan stare.
“…Please?”
With a sigh, the purple unicorn relented and set the Mareintosh on a nearby desk. Her horn glowed again, and a chair was summoned from afar and set up in front of the desk where the magical computer lay.
“If I may,” Twilight said quickly, using her magic to next pluck the game box out of Rainbow’s caring grip. The pegasus briefly protested, but she trailed off into a soft mumble. Twilight opened the box, removed a small cartridge, and inserted it into a slot on the Mareintosh’s front.
She also removed a small booklet from the box, and placed it in Rainbow Dash’s hooves. “That’s the instruction manual. You may want to read it first, you know, so that you’re not hopelessly confused when starting.”
“Who are you calling ‘hopelessly confused’?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed defensively. “I don’t need a manual to know how to be awesome! And neither does Daring Do!”
“But Rainbow Dash,” Twilight began, a slight smirk forming on her face, “just think about it. The author himself—or herself, who knows—wrote that manual. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them, would you?”
“…”
“And who knows, maybe there are cool Daring Do secrets hidden within…”
“…Okay, fine!” Rainbow Dash said, finally relenting. “But only because the author of Daring Do is awesome!”
Twilight let out a sly giggle, and proceeded to turn on and set up the Mareintosh whilst Rainbow Dash decided to give the booklet a once-over. It wasn’t really that long, so maybe it would okay to spare a moment to read it.
Opening the instruction book, the pegasus flipped to the first page labeled ‘Introduction’, and began to read…
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DUNGEON!
Are you prepared to embark upon the most daring quest yet? Take on the role of the famed pegasi explorer herself, Daring Do, and navigate your way across the many tricks and traps that your enemies and rivals have laid for you!
Legend tells of an ancient pony civilization, one that existed and thrived long before the founding of Equestria. And at the center of their empire, was a treasure known simply as the Emerald Equine. Long believed to have been the source of their power, the Equine is rumored to be an object of incredible value. Today, everypony believes it to be locked within the ancient ruins of the empire.
And that’s where you come in.
Upon hearing of the mysteries of the Emerald Empire, you immediately jump at the opportunity for adventure, like you always do. Arriving in a small tribal village near the ruins of the ancient civilization, you are nearly prepared to finally embark on your quest. But beware! You old nemesis, Ahuizotl, also has plans for the Emerald Equine, and there is not doubt that he and his minions will get in your way!
Be brave! Be bold! Be Daring! The time for adventure begins NOW!
Rainbow’s interest was most certainly piqued after reading that. It certainly seemed like a pretty awesome setup for a Daring Do adventure, she thought! Not only that, but you actually get to play as Daring Do herself! To her, that alone simply screamed "awesomeness!" She moved on to the next section, which was basically just a “how-to-play” exposition.
HOW-TO-PLAY
-This is a text-based adventure game. To play, you must input a command on the TEXT PARSER, which is indicated by the “>_” symbol. Type verbs like “LOOK AT”, “TAKE”, or “USE”, followed by the item in question. An item must be ‘visible’ in the room description in order to interact with it!
-Moving around is easy! To go in a specific direction, simply type “NORTH”, “WEST”, “EAST”, or “SOUTH” into the text parser. You can also simply type “N”, “W”, “E”, or “S” for each respective direction.(NOTE: The game will inform you which directions you are allowed to go in, to make things easier.)
-To access your inventory of the items you’ve TAKEn, simply type “INVENTORY” or just “INV”. The stuff you are currently carrying will be displayed!
-To save the game, so you can take a break and play again later, type ‘SAVE’ into the parser. Your current status will be recorded! To pick up where you left off, type ‘RESTORE’. You will be put right back to where you last saved the game!
TIPS & TRICKS
-Be sure to examine everything, and check everywhere! Sometimes really important items are hidden in secret places! Sometimes they are just there in plain sight!
-Your name may have the word ‘Daring’ included in it, but better to be safe than sorry! Some places and things aren’t exactly meant to be played around with! Proceed with caution!
-Some items can be combined! Others are used to solve certain puzzles! Even innocuous items might be important, and others might be worthless!
-If all else fails, like when you’re hopelessly stuck with a puzzle, type ‘RESTART’ to try the game over again! Maybe there was a clue or something that you missed!
If one thing was for sure, this game sure seemed… complicated, despite how simple the manual made it sound. Rainbow Dash struggled to memorize the contents, but she eventually managed to get the instructions down pat.
“So, didja learn up on how to play?” a voice asked her. Rainbow jumped at the sudden sound in her ear, and sighed upon realizing that it was only Twilight.
“Uh, yeah…”
“Great! The Mareintosh is all set up and ready to go, so I’ll let you have fun with it,” Twilight said, smiling.
Rainbow Dash smiled as well. “Th-thanks Twilight. You’re a good friend.”
“You’re very welcome. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there were a few things I had to tend to around the library.”
Twilight trotted off, presumably to deal with arranging books or something, and Rainbow Dash was quick to hop on the desk chair and sit on her haunches. The Mareintosh was right in front of her, the six-inch wide screen staring straight at her. The keyboard, which was attached to the computer, had all the keys of the alphabet (which were thankfully wide enough for hooves).
As she sat down, taking in the sights of the Mareintosh and spending a moment processing it all, Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but wonder something. ‘This dusty old box is worth 20000 bits?’ she mentally questioned. ‘That’s just crazy! It's just a box with a glowing screen! If it wasn't for Daring Do, I bet it'd be worthless.’ She finally settled her eyes on the screen, reading what was now printed in rather blocky text:
You are standing in the main square of a tribal village. The ponies here are intrigued by your explorer garments and hat, but you pay no mind to them. One of the tribals seems to be waving you over.
You can see a tribal, a pair of binoculars, and a map.
>_
“Alright, so…” Rainbow scratched her chin with a hoof. “…what do I do now?”
“Just type something in!” the voice of Twilight called from afar. “Try looking at something!”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Okay…” she mumbled, and began slowly typing in a simple command into the parser. When she was finished, she hit the button that read ‘INPUT’.
>LOOK AT SOMETHING_
What do you want to look at?
“Uh…” The pegasus gritted her teeth as she weighed her options. “The map, I guess…”
>MAP_
The map appears to have fallen out of your bag. It would be wise to pick it back up.
“Okay, um… How do I pick up stuff again?” she wondered aloud. “Oh! Right, I’ll just take it…”
>TAKE MAP_
Taken.
Rainbow Dash blinked. Well, that was easy enough. Now, what next? “Huh, what was this about a tribal earlier…?” Her hooves once again danced across the keyboard.
>LOOK AT TRIBAL_
He is a brown earth pony stallion with a highly unkempt white mane. Judging from his clothing, he might be a figure of high authority in this village. He appears to be waving you over to him.
“Oh… maybe he wants to talk to me?” Rainbow thought aloud again. “Wait, no, he wants to talk to Daring! But… in this game, I am Daring! Cool!”
>TALK TO TRIBAL_
The stallion greets you cordially and bows slightly. As a sign of respect, you bow as well. He then speaks to you in a language that you recognize as Coltec. Thankfully, you are well-versed in that language, and translate his speech as, “Greetings, traveler. I presume you are here to explore the ruins to our north.”
You nod your head and explain your intentions. The stallion nods as well. “I see. Many ponies have come and tried to claim the treasure, though there has yet to be one to succeed.” You make the claim that you will be the first one to find the treasure, and the pony laughs. “I admire your conviction, young traveler. You seem bolder than most. Perhaps you will succeed, who knows.”
The stallion then leans forward toward you, and his look turns gravely serious. “Just keep in mind, my friend, that the treasure you seek is not what you may expect. I will not stop you, but I urge you not to risk the journey. Ponies have ventured in, and never came back.”
With those last words, the strange pony trots away deeper into the village, and you quickly lose sight of him. You aren’t really fazed by this however; you’ve been through worse scrapes before.
You are standing in the main square of a tribal village. The ponies here are intrigued by your explorer garments and hat, but you pay no mind to them.
You can see binoculars.
>_
Rainbow Dash thought long and hard. Of course, it was only natural for there to be a strange pony of some random tribe to warn the brave explorers to stay away from the creepy temples and such. But Rainbow didn’t care, and she knew that Daring wouldn’t either. She’s practically been through Tartarus and back, for Celestia’s sake!
Ready to move on, the pegasus thought it best to grab the last remaining item, according the game: the binoculars. And so, she typed out the command.
>TAKE BINOKULARS_
What’s a ‘binokulars’?
“…Oops,” Rainbow muttered, and facehoofed. Darn misspellings. She tried again, this time making sure to double check her spelling.
>TAKE BINOCULARS_
Taken.
Ah. Excellent. Now, what else was there to do…? “Hmm…” Rainbow Dash wasn’t exactly sure where else she could go. There didn’t seem to be a direction indicated, nor were there any other hints or clues…
…maybe it was time for a little experimentation. And by ‘experimentation’, she meant fun.
>FLY_
Real adventurers can explore the most deadly dungeons without taking advantage of their natural talents. Of course, even if you wanted to, you couldn’t even hope to break the thick canopy of jungle foliage above you anyway. Oh well.
Rainbow Dash frowned. Once again, something had foiled Daring’s attempts at just flying around. Then again, that’s what made her cool. She could explore temples and find the treasures within... without wings. Rainbow was just a little bit envious of that.
Now, she was spending a few words just messing around. But Rainbow didn’t care much about that; she was simply taking advantage of finally being the one in control.
>SHOUT_
AAAAARRRRRRGHHH!!!
You begin to get a sore throat.
“Heehee…” Rainbow couldn’t help but laugh. The developers really do think of everything! She wondered if they even included…?
>DANCE_
This is really not the time for an impromptu display of your less-than-admirable ballet routine. …But oh, what the hay. You sneak in a quick hoof-tapper.
Rainbow laughed again. Whoever made this game… well, the author was supposed to be involved as well, but it was actually pretty funny! Maybe moreso than the books themselves! What else could be done?
She spent the next twenty minutes just goofing around, typing in random commands and interactions (a lot of which didn’t work, though a surprising amount did) to amuse herself. It was amazing how fast time could be lost to an object meant for simple-minded glee.
“So, are you enjoying the game so far?” Twilight asked as she walked past the desk with a load of books in tow. “How far did you get?”
Rainbow’s giggling ceased. In all honesty, she hadn’t even left the village yet. She’d been so sidetracked by just goofing around that she’d forgotten. “…Oh, uh… not that far. I was just… figuring out this puzzle.”
“Oh? What puzzle is that?” the unicorn asked, taking a glance at the screen and squinted her eyes to make out the words. “…‘You now feel at least 20% cooler?’ Huh?”
“I… ah…” Rainbow dash played with her hooves as she stammered nervously. “I typed in ‘become cooler’, and that’s what it popped out… Eh-heh…”
“…Ah. So, just where are you?”
There was a pause before Rainbow Dash quietly answered, “The village…”
Twilight raised an incredulous eyebrow. “…You’re still in the first area? Whatever happened to the super-fast Rainbow Dash approach? Or are you just that stuck?” While her words may have suggested condescension, her tone was genuinely curious and slightly concerned.
“Well, no… I just… didn’t really know which way to go next, and I… well, I just thought I’d play around for a bit.”
“Ohhhh, I see,” Twilight said, nodding with assent. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I used to mess around a lot while playing that too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I was just a filly then, remember?”
The pegasus’s face fell into a scowl. “Muh. You’re saying I’m playing like a little foal then. Of course. Thanks a ton for the analysis, Twi.” The sarcasm present in Rainbow Dash’s voice was almost to the point of extreme toxicity.
“N-no, that’s not what I meant!” the unicorn defended, waving a dismissive hoof. “What I meant was… that it’s natural to have certain… curiosities about the limits of a game like this.”
“I just suck at this game…”
“No, don’t say that! If you need a little help, I’m more than willing to offer some!” Twilight set down the books she was carrying with her magic and placed a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “You just need to ask.”
“…” Rainbow sighed. “Okay… fine. Can you please give me a hoof with this?”
“I’d be glad to,” Twilight agreed, beaming. “Now, what were you having trouble with again?”
Rainbow shrugged. “I’m still in the village, and I don’t know where to go next.”
“I see. Have you ever thought about going north?”
“…”
“…You see, since the pony that talks to you even says that the ruins are north.”
“…”
“…”
“…Well, buck. IT WAS SO OBVIOUS!”
And thusly, Rainbow was again clattering her hooves on the keyboard to input the command, while Twilight stood and watched on. ‘Give her time,’ she thought. ‘She might get the hang of this game someday.
“Oh, great. ‘A fallen tree blocks the path ahead.’ NOW WHAT?!”
‘…Might. I dunno.’
=====O======
“Can ya see… inside now…?”
“Not yet! Just a little bit higher!”
“Ugh… Scootaloo… why’re ya so heavy?!”
“Just a little bit more! I’m almost there…!”
“Ah… can’t… hold on… too… heavy…”
“Oh, come on, Apple Bloom! Heave ho!”
“Guhhh… so… much… heavy…”
“…Yes! I made it—AAAAAAAAHH!!”
THUD!
Once again, a potential plot was foiled.
After crashing to the ground, an orange pegasus filly slowly picked herself back up. Stars danced in her vision as she groggily called out, “Apple Bloom… What the hay was that? I was so close to the window! Why’d you drop me?!”
“It weren’t my fault!” the yellow filly with a red mane and pink bow said defensively. “Ya’ll kept shoutin’ at me to boost you up to that there windowsill, an’ Ah just wasn’t strong enough to hold you up!”
“But you’re an earth pony! And your sister is Applejack!” Scootaloo asserted. “How could you not be at least kind of as tough as her?”
“Ah’m still just a filly, Scoots!” Apple Bloom said with annoyance. “Ya’ll can’t go assumin’ that Ah can move mountains an’ stuff! Ah even told ya that Ah can’t life you by myself!”
Scootaloo let out an irritated sigh. “This would be so much easier if Sweetie Belle hadn’t gone to the Spa with her sister… I mean, why even go to a spa? Rainbow Dash doesn’t go to spas!”
“Ugh, ‘Rainbow’ this, an’ ‘Dash’ that!” Apple Bloom spat. “Why are we even here? Ah don’t think we’ll our cutie marks by spying on ponies…”
“Tell that to Deep Cover! He got his cutie mark just last week because he found out, by spying, that somepony was planning to prank somepony else the next day!”
Apple Bloom tilted her head wonderingly. “Who’s ‘somepony’?”
“No one important…” Scootaloo mumbled, a light scowl tugging at the corner of her mouth as she shifted her eyes rather shadily. “…Besides! That’s not why we’re here. We’re here to figure out what Rainbow Dash was so excited about. She rarely gets that excited unless the Wonderbolts are in town… or if a new Daring Do book comes into the library!”
“So… we’re spyin’ on Rainbow Dash.”
“Kind of, yeah!”
“…Because she’s probably readin’ a book or somethin’ that takes her fancy.”
“Uh-huh!”
“…See ya.” And with that, Apple Bloom turned and trotted away, a blank glower comprising her only facial expression.
Scootaloo sighed with annoyance. “Okay, fine! Be that way!” she snapped. “I can climb up there all by myself.” The filly looked back up at the towering tree before her, where the closest window to the floor RD was on was at least twice as high as she was.
“…Uh-huh. All… by myself. Right.”
And so, Scootaloo embarked upon her epic quest to climb the insurmountable wall that led to her ultimate goal. She was to scale the un-scalable, all for the sake of getting to see her one, true idol read a book or something.
…Yeah, that’s totally not creepy at all.
=====O=====
“…What do you MEAN that I could’ve just jumped over it?!”
“It’s not a huge tree; I thought you could’ve easily deduced that!”
“But the game didn’t give me any hints! How was I supposed to figure that out?”
“You could have employed a little creative thinking!”
“The manual never said anything about that!”
“Forget the manual! Just think a little bit, for a change!”
“Agh, fine! I’m thinking now…” Rainbow Dash put a hoof to her mouth and made a face that suggested intense concentration. “…okay, done. There, I thought a little bit. And I’ve completely figured it out.”
“Oh? And?”
“I’m hopelessly stuck. I may need more help.”
Twilight let out a huge, drawn-out sigh of exasperation and slammed her head against the desk.
‘Oh dear, sweet, merciful Celestia… what have I done?!?’
“TWILIGHT!” Rainbow Dash shouted, frustration boiling in her blood. “I think I’m lost! I just keep going north, and I’m STILL stuck in this stupid jungle!”
Twilight looked up from the book she was trying to read—‘A Filly’s Guide to Dealing with Stress’, by Tender Care—and groaned. “It’s supposed to be a maze. Getting lost is, I don’t know, kind of the point. But the pattern is easy. You’ll figure it out eventually.”
“‘Eventually?!’ C’mon, Twi! Can’t you give me any more tips than that?! You must’ve beaten this game a whole bunch of times already!”
“Er…yeah, a bunch,” the unicorn mumbled, biting her lip nervously and hiding her face behind the book. ‘I still ought to mention that I never was able to finish it… but not now.’
Rainbow Dash slumped back in her chair with a face of extreme displeasure. “Great. Now what the hay am I supposed to do?!” she asked out loud.
“You’ve been saying that for almost an hour straight!” Twilight snapped, briefly losing her composure. She realized this, stopped, and took a deep breath before continuing. “If you weren’t so blindly stubborn, then maybe you’d figure out that north isn’t the way to always go…”
“So what am I supposed to do, go west, or something?” Rainbow Dash half-stated and half-asked.
Twilight merely shrugged her shoulders and kept reading. Oh yes, that spoke volumes.
The prismatic pegasus threw her hooves up into the air at the sheer vacillation of it all. “Ah, to Tartarus with it! I’ll just go west…”
“Yes, go west, young mare,” Twilight whispered, a slight smirk tugging at her mouth as she continued reading her book. “‘Tis where you’ll find your fortune.”
Rainbow Dash didn’t hear her though; she was too busy inputting the new command.
>WEST_
You are in a section of the jungle.
She was silent for several moments, her face developing a pouty expression. “Oh Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said in a falsely polite tone, only to instantly yell directly afterwards, “IT DIDN’T WORK!”
“Now go north,” Twilight continued without even looking up. She seemed really absorbed in her book now for some reason.
The pegasus gave a grumble of dissent, flattening her ears against her skull with irritation. She begrudgingly entered in the command after a moment’s pause.
>NORTH_
You are in a section of the jungle.
Rainbow’s left eye began to develop a twitch. “Twilight, nothing’s working,” she stated simply, her uneven voice suggesting unstableness. “It keeps saying the same. Darn.Thing.”
“Trust me, it’ll work,” Twilight assured her friend. “Now finally… go west again. That should be it.”
“…Fine…” Barely suppressing her involuntary tics, Rainbow Dash entered in Twilight’s ‘final’ direction.
>WEST_
You are in a section of the jungle.
“Oops,” Twilight said nonchalantly, looking up from her book and smirking devilishly when she saw the expression on Rainbow Dash’s face. “I actually meant to say east. The pattern was West, North, and then East.” She feigned an innocent shrug. “Silly me.”
======O======
Scootaloo had finally reached to windowsill. Finally, after so much difficulty clambering up the side of the house, the orange filly would get to see her idol. In the shallow depths of her mind, Scootaloo wondered if she should try and take up rock climbing again; that first time was probably just bad luck.
Oh, she just had to think about her luck.
Right as Scootaloo was climbing onto the window’s edge, a sudden, eardrum-shattering sound greeted her.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!”
It was only a few brief instants before Scootaloo’s face had a happy reunion with the ground.
THUD!
Pulling her head out of the small indent she had made in the earth, Scootaloo spat out a mouthful of soil and shuddered. It tasted nothing like what Pinkie had been going on about. Was this was ‘Dirt Pie’ was made of? Actual dirt?
Scootaloo groaned. Who was shouting, anyway? Was it somepony inside the library? It must’ve been; how else could she have lost her balance so easy? Whoever it was, she wasn’t able to figure it out, or care. All she did know was that things weren’t going to be made easy today.
“My word, what is with that scream?”
The pegasus filly looked up, and saw a pair of other ponies walking by the library. One was an earth pony, one was a unicorn, and both were mares.
“What in Equestria is going ON in there?!” the unicorn with a mint-green coat, Lyra, demanded. The earth pony to her side, Bon-Bon, also posed the same question.
Scootaloo wasn’t precisely sure that she had an acceptable answer. As such, a very drawn out “Uhh…” followed the mare’s inquiries. Such intense Q&A was thankfully not needed however, as a voice could be heard coming from within the library.
“Calm down, Rainbow Dash!” the voice of Twilight was heard exclaiming. “No need to get all stressed-out over playing this!”
“No need?! There’s totally a need! I ask you a simple question, and what do I get? SOME LOUSY ADVICE! And you were doing it ON PURPOSE!”
Scootaloo’s ears pricked upwards at the last voice that spoke. It was Rainbow Dash! …But, what were she and Twilight arguing about?
“Well then, sue me! I was just trying to have a little bit of fun!”
“Fun?! You were practically screwing around with me!”
Lyra and Bon-Bon exchanged a confused look. Scootaloo was a tad lost as well. “Umm… That sounds like Twilight and Rainbow Dash,” Lyra muttered. “They seem like they’re upset about something…”
“What are they talking about, anyway?” Bon-Bon asked plainly, even though nopony present had any decent answers.
“D-don’t look at me,” Scootaloo put out, feeling somewhat defensive. “I was just hanging around… not doing anything…” At this, both mares began to regard the pegasus filly with a somewhat suspicious look.
Before either Lyra or Bon-Bon could question Scootaloo further, they were hushed by more voices. “Look Rainbow Dash,” Twilight was heard saying, “I’m sorry, okay? But it’s not easy if you keep asking me for constant pointers and help! You’re the one playing; I’m just enabling you.”
“Do you seriously expect me to do it all on my own?!” Rainbow Dash yelled, letting out a cry of frustration. “AGH! WHY IS IT SO HARD!?!”
“…Oooooo-kay,” Lyra said slowly, averting her gaze from the library, “a little bit of context here would be nice…”
Bon-Bon shook her head. “Oh Lyra, you and your oddly-aligned thoughts… I’m sure they must be having a reasonable, if slightly heated discussion in there—”
“YOU DIDN’T EVEN GET PAST THE JUNGLE YET! It’s not even supposed to be difficult!!”
“For eggheads like you, maybe it’s not! But come ON! I’m new to this, okay?! So what if I’m no good?!”
“It’s not that you are ‘not good’, Rainbow Dash, it’s just that you are too stubborn and single-minded to at least try wrapping your head around this on your own!”
Bon-Bon sighed and muttered, “Never mind…”
“Oh?! So I’m an idiot all of a sudden?!”
“No! Nopony’s calling anypony stupid! If you’re already tired of this, then why not take a break and think this through?”
“…”
“Well?”
“…Fine. I’ll take a break.”
“Good. Ugh, all this nonsense is giving me a headache... I’ll be going to the store to pick up some paper and quills. I should be back before long.”
“Whatever…”
As the voices from inside died down, the three eavesdroppers slowly digested what they had heard. Scootaloo had no idea what was going on between them, being of a young, untainted mind. Lyra and Bon-Bon however… well hay, even they weren’t 100% sure what was going on in there.
The door of the Library swung open, startling the three of them. Twilight had just exited the tree-like building, and immediately noticed them. “Oh, Lyra and Bon-Bon! Nice to see you here,” she said rather gently, not showing many signs of the ‘argument’ that took place earlier. “Oh, and you too… Scootaloo?”
By that point, the pegasus filly had decided to make herself scarce. That is, run away. She wasn’t exactly keen on being caught spying on the library and its occupants.
Twilight sighed as Scootaloo zipped away into the distance, and resumed speaking with the other two mares. “Oh, just so you know, Rainbow Dash is feeling a little bit moody right now. Well, you know what stress can to do to a girl. I’d give her some space if I were you.”
“Uhh…” Bon-Bon was just about to ask what the argument earlier was about, but thought better of it and clammed up. For some reason, Lyra seemed to be holding back a sleazy little grin.
“Well, see you later! I need to get to the store before they close.” And with a content little smile, Twilight merrily trotted off to her destination.
Both mares left standing there were frozen with shock. After a moment of brief mystification, the two of them slowly turned to look at each other. Bon-Bon spoke first. “Umm… do you think… that perhaps… she and Rainbow are…?”
From what could be gleaned from the grin that Lyra could no longer contain, she was thinking the same thing. Well, mostly the same thing… just a little bit more ‘scandalous’. “Oooooh! This is juicy stuff! We ought to tell everypony!”
“W-what? No!” Bon-Bon snapped, though the idea of such gossip was somewhat tempting. “I-it’s not right… Besides, we don’t even know if they are seeing each other…”
“Wasn’t that display proof enough?” Lyra reasoned, still grinning maliciously.
Bon-Bon’s face flushed red from the thoughts poking around in her mind, but she was able to suppress them. “W-well, I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding… We shouldn’t jump to conclusions…”
“Oh, come on! It makes so much sense! Why else would Rainbow Dash hang out at the library with Twilight? It’s not like she actually reads or anything, right?”
“Actually,” Bon-Bon interrupted, “she does read. At least, she reads the Daring Do books. Well, that’s what I hear, anyway…”
“…Seriously? She does?”
“Yeah. There was a big fiasco about it, too.”
“…” Lyra shrugged it off. “But still, that doesn’t account for what they were shouting about! Because it sure didn’t sound like they were talking about books!”
“Well, I suppose that they didn’t appear to be…”
“Then that means I win! C’mon, we’re telling everypony!”
“H-huh?!”
Without waiting for a proper reply (or objection), Lyra snatched her companion by the hoof and practically dragged her down the street and away from the library. What they were off to do was anypony’s guess. Though if one could wager a guess, they were most likely off to spread some glorious gossip…
…Well gosh, things just got a bit thorny, didn’t they?
======O======
Of course, Rainbow Dash had no intention whatsoever of ‘taking a break.’ One does not simply “take a break” when playing an extremely awesome game. She only said that just to get Twilight off her back.
The only problem, obviously, was that she now had nopony to offer any assistance. Twilight was the only one she knew that had played (and apparently, beaten) this game, so Rainbow Dash was, figuratively, currently up Neighagra River without wings or a paddle.
Oh well. She could manage, right?
Rainbow Dash reclaimed her spot atop the chair facing the computer, staring down the machine like it was an old rival. Remembering Twilight’s directions from before, she attempted to navigate that STUPID BUCKIN’ JUNGLE one more time.
>WEST_
You are in a section of the jungle.
>NORTH_
You are in a section of the jungle.
Rainbow Dash sincerely hoped that Twilight wasn’t joking when she said that ‘east’ was the next (proper) direction to go. Because if she was… Well, RD never had egghead salad for lunch before. Maybe it would be time to try something ‘new’…?
>EAST_
You are at the Ruined City outskirts.
After navigating the treacherous and confusing jungle, you finally can see the ruins in the distant north. They stand, tall and imposing against the now-open sky. It’s almost like a huge, dilapidated city, weathered by the trials of time.
(You remembered to use your map, right? Of course you did! …You did, right?)
Rainbow Dash facehoofed. The map! For Luna’s sake, how could she have forgotten about the MAP?! …Well, at least she finally got out of the jungle. But still… was the map still useful? Maybe it could tell her where to go next?
>USE MAP_
You’re already at the ruins. It wouldn’t serve a further purpose now.
“Gah…” Rainbow Dash slammed her head on the keyboard.
>SH4MYF85HDYT64CW_
What’s a ‘sh4myf85hdyt64cw’?
“…” The pegasus decided not to even comment on that. …So, where to go next? Well, if it said the ruins were north… then north it was.
>NORTH_
You are standing before the Ruined Gate.
As you approach the ruins, you notice that a large and impossibly tall fence surrounds the entirety of the city ruins. In front of you is a tall gate of unknown composition, though you quickly deduce that it must be a variety of copper alloy. It is shut, and there doesn’t appear to be another way in.
You can see a gate, and a length of rope.
Rainbow Dash put a hoof to her chin in thought. Of course, all ancient cities had to have a giant gate blocking access, didn’t they? But a better question was… what was a bunch of rope doing lying in front of such a gate? Surely, the developers did not simply place it there for no reason.
>LOOK AT ROPE_
It looks to be approximately 12 yards in length, but it’s a little hard to measure perfectly accurately. Conveniently, it appears light enough to carry.
‘Convenient indeed,’ Rainbow thought. ‘A little too convenient, but… whatever.’
>TAKE ROPE_
Taken.
With one somewhat-arbitrary task complete, there remained but one more. And that was to… enter the ancient city. But… how would one go about this task?
>GO INSIDE RUINS?_
Are you asking me, or telling me?
“Ugh…” Sometimes, RD felt like this game might’ve been a tad too smart for its own good. That kind of bothered her a little bit.
>GO INSIDE RUINS_
The gate appears to be locked.
“…Phooey,” Rainbow Dash muttered, her ears flattening with irritation. “Well, so much for that…”
Once again, she had reached an impasse. The door was locked, completely barring entry, and all that was available was a bit of rope. The map was useless. She sincerely doubted that those binoculars would help either. Where was a strategy guide when you needed it?!
Before Rainbow Dash could start exclaiming obscenities in fervent frustration, there was a knock at the library’s door. Not even a moment later, the front door swung open, and the pegasus whipped her around to see who it was. Her initial expectation of it simply being Twilight returning from the store was promptly dashed away when it turned out to be Pinkie Pie, of all ponies.
“Hiya Dashie!” she exclaimed through the book being carried in her mouth. “I borrowed this book from Twilight, and now I’m bringing it back! It was really helpful for my ‘creamy caramel candy-coated cupcake cobbler’ recipe! I never thought that it could go so well with ‘super-secret supremely sour sauce’! Ooooooh, you should’ve seen the look on those ponies’ faces when they had that first bite! I never knew it was possible for somepony’s face to go all inside-out like that!”
Rainbow Dash tried not to imagine what it would’ve looked like. Just like Pinkie to get all ‘experimental’ with her cupcakes again… “Uh, that’s nice Pinkie Pie… but, Twilight isn’t here. She went to the store. Also, I’m, uh… kinda busy…”
The neon-pink pony tilted her head to the side, like a curious puppy. “Huh? Ooooooh, what’cha doing, Dashie?”
“Playing a game,” RD replied tersely, trying to get this over with as soon as possible. “And it needs… er… concentration. So please don’t bother me.”
Pinkie Pie dropped the book on a table, and playfully hopped over to the desk that Rainbow Dash was sitting at. “A game?! Woooow! Can I play? Huh huh? Can I? Huh?”
“Er…” The pegasus switched glances between Pinkie and the Mareintosh. In all likelihood, that pink time bomb would somehow figure out a way to destroy it, and then Twilight would get extremely upset. For a machine that costs a whopping 20,000 bits… she wasn’t willing to take that risk. EVER.
“Sorry Pinkie… You can’t. You’ll have to ask Twilight first before you can.”
The pink pony’s mile-wide grin quickly shrunk into a petite little frown. For a moment, she looked rather downtrodden and disappointed, but being Pinkie, her mood picked up again almost instantly. “Okay! I’ll just wait right here then!” And with that happy declaration, she quickly planted her haunches right on the floor where she stood.
Needless to say, Rainbow Dash wasn’t exactly comfortable with having somepony give her a very unnerving smile-filled stare while playing. Disconcerting though it was, the pegasus tried to pay no mind to her impromptu audience. Oh well, at least Pinkie had quieted down.
>LOOK AT GATE_
It stands imposingly before you, as if just daring you to try and open it. There are no visible latches or handles on the gate, but there is a large horizontal beam that seems to be blocking the door.
‘A beam, huh?’ Rainbow Dash thought, raising a curious eyebrow. Perhaps there was some way to dislodge this beam? If it were removed, the gate would likely open! Brilliant!
“Ooh! Ooh! I know that puzzle!” Pinkie Pie suddenly piped up. “All you need is a giant rope, a mariachi band, a pair of binoculars, a piñata, and bam! Party time!”
“…Whuh? That doesn’t make any sense!” Rainbow exclaimed, furrowing her brow in both annoyance and confusion. “This isn’t about a party, Pinkie! …And why would you need binoculars for a party anyway?”
Pinkie’s look turned serious as she put a hoof to her chin in deep thought. “Yeah, that’s just stupid… where would we find a mariachi band at this time of year?” she mused, completely missing Rainbow Dash’s point. “It’s more of the season for wubs! Ooh, I should call my pal Vinyl again!” She giggled. “What was I thinking? Mariachi band, what a silly filly idea…”
“…Never mind,” the pegasus groaned, facehoofing. Still, the rope did seem like a reasonable way of moving that beam out of the picture… perhaps Pinkie was onto something.
>USE ROPE_
What do you want to use the rope on?
>GATE_
You expertly coil the rope and twirl it in both hooves before tossing it at the gate, cowfilly style. However, just as the rope makes contact around the beam, the rope slips off. You’ll need something to weigh the end!
“See?!” Pinkie exclaimed suddenly, almost in a matter-of-factly way. “You need a piñata! What rope is complete without one?”
“I DON’T EVEN HAVE A PIÑATA!” Rainbow Dash yelled, her wings flaring with frustration. “ALL I HAVE IS A STUPID PAIR OF BINOCULARS!”
Pinkie looked genuinely surprised. “Really? Well, that’s not a very fun party if there’s no piñata.” She shrugged it off, and grinned again. “Oh well, better make the most of it!”
Rainbow mostly ignored the nutty pink pony. The only thing that could possibly be used to ‘weigh down’ the rope was the binoculars… but, surely there could be a better use for something other than that? …But, if there was, she couldn’t think of one. Ah, screw it.
>USE ROPE_
What do you want to use the rope on?
>BINOCULARS_
You don’t see how this will accomplish anything, but why the hay not? With mostly-expert precision, you tie the binoculars to the end of the rope.
And now, was the moment of truth. Could a devious puzzle such as this truly by solved by such a menial and unconventional method?
>USE ROPE_
What do you want to use the rope on?
>GATE_
You expertly coil the rope and twirl it in both hooves before tossing it at the gate, cowfilly style. The rope, with the binoculars attached, loops around the beam and coils itself tightly. With a mighty pull, aided from the extra force from the flapping of your wings, the beam jars loose and falls to the ground where it will likely be forgotten and disintegrate over the next millennium or so. Success!
Rainbow Dash blinked. Well, apparently it could.
“Aw, why didn’t I think of that?” Pinkie whined, ears flattening with disappointment. “You’re too good at this, Dashie! It’s not fair!”
“Uh…” The pegasus rubbed the back of her neck bashfully. “I’m really not that great at this, but… I guess I am pretty awesome for figuring that out.” As usual, the concept of modesty was lost on poor Rainbow Dash. Pinkie didn’t really mind much, though.
Regardless, the ruins were now within reach. What waited beyond that gate? Rainbow Dash didn’t know, but she was sure as hay excited to find out. But for a change… she also felt some semblance of accomplishment. She figured out the puzzle without Twilight’s help! …Well, Pinkie Pie gave her a slight nudge in the proper direction, but still!
Rainbow Dash steeled herself. Whatever was awaiting her… or rather, what was awaiting Daring Do… it was bound to be awesome.
“…And then I said, ‘Oatmeal, was that really how Equestria was made?’ I mean, really, can you beli—”
“PINKIE!”
“Yes Dashie?”
Rainbow Dash’s eye twitched as she tried to piece together her thought process over again. As appealing as it was to do horrible, horrible things to Pinkie and bury her body under the floorboards, Edger Allen Poal-style, there had to have been an easier way of dealing with her annoyances. “Could you… I dunno… stop being you for a minute? I’m trying to focus, here!”
“…Oh.” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin in thought. “But, if I can’t be me… then who should I be? Of all the ponies I can see, there aren’t any as fun as me!”
“Oh Celestia… why is Pinkie so random?” Rainbow groaned out loud, slamming her head on the keyboard once again.
>EVGSL43R8FWF_
What’s a ‘EVGSL43R8FWF’?
Ignoring the computer for the moment, the cyan pegasus turned to give Pinkie a not-so-subtle glare. “Don’t. Even. Start,” she warned, jabbing a hoof into the pink pony’s muzzle with each word spoken.
“Start what?”
“The rhyming. Which, in turn, is almost always followed up by completely random singing.”
Pinkie looked rather surprised. “What?! But… those are always supposed to be a surprise! How could you have found out?”
“They’re not that hard to see coming, Pinks,” RD candidly informed her. “Listen, I can already hear the music starting to pick up in the background!”
It was true, of course. Seemingly from nowhere, an oddly upbeat instrumental backing was playing at a slightly-higher-than audible level. Its source, much like the logic behind Pinkie Sense, was unknown. Rainbow Dash coughed pointedly, and the music quickly scratched to a halt.
“Awwww…” Pinkie hung her head low and made a pouty-looking face. “I had a really good one this time, too…”
“Maybe some other time,” the pegasus growled, grinding her teeth with annoyance. “Look, Pinkie, it’s been nice that you’re visiting and all… but I really think you should go now.”
“…Go where?”
“Gee, I dunno… maybe… someplace not here!”
Pinkie blinked twice, and then burst out in laughter. “Oh Dashie, you know I can’t do that!”
“And why not?”
“Because…” She leaned in closer, her expression becoming oddly serious. “…The story says I’m supposed to stay here. At least, just for the next two chapters or so. And then I’ll probably be gone for a while to prepare for a plot twist that nopony will expect.”
Rainbow Dash stared at her blankly. “…Pinkie Pie. What the hay are you talking about?!”
“The story, duh! You know, the one where…” She paused, and gasped loudly. “Oh no! Spoilers! The story says I can’t give anything away relating to what will happen in the immediate future or later! Sorry Dashie, I can’t say any more!”
“…” The pegasus furrowed her brow at Pinkie’s odd delusions. “Ooookay… While you take a trip through ‘creepy town’, I’m just gonna keep playing now…”
And play she did. Pinkie had quieted down somewhat—she seemed oddly concerned about these ‘spoilers’ or whatever she was going on about—and that suited Rainbow Dash just fine. Now she could carry on where she left off…
When she had finally made it into the city, everything seemed rather… unspectacular. There was a west side, an east side, a north side, and a south side of the city ruins. It didn’t seem all that big, really. Or was there really not much there to see? Rainbow had discovered what appeared to be an unlit torch of some variety, and took it in the event that it would prove useful.
Right before Pinkie had started to become a problem, Rainbow Dash had just discovered the main temple in the northern side of the city. This had to have been the place! But before she could get excited, the party pony had started going on a tirade about… whatever it was, which resulted in the earlier argument. And we all know where that went, so let’s move on.
You are standing in the Temple Entrance Chamber.
For a room designed to greet ponies upon entering, it sure is barren. Most temples you have explored usually had a death trap or complicated puzzle of some kind right off the bat, and usually in plain sight. To the west, you can see a narrow corridor that continues on into pitch darkness. To the east is a closed door. Straight ahead looks to be another corridor, only this passage appears lit.
You can see a jar of oil here.
>_
The first room of the first dungeon. Well this should be easy, Rainbow figured. First thing’s first…
“Ooh! Ooh!” Well, so much for Pinkie being quiet. “Look at the oil jar! It reeks of suspicious-ous-ness! And… other things! Like olives!”
“…Pinkie, what else would I possibly do?”
“Umm… Ignore it, in case it’s a trap?”
Rainbow Dash briefly considered this, but then shrugged it off without reflection. It was just a jar, what could it do?
>LOOK AT JAR
It’s a sealed, transparent glass jar that seems to contain oil. Olive oil that is, not that other gunky, black stuff.
Rainbow Dash made a face. ‘Olive oil?’ she thought, sticking out her tongue. ‘Yuck. Oh well, it must be useful somehow. Maybe.’
“Hey Dashie, is it pronounced ‘olive oil’ or ‘I love oil’?” Pinkie inquired. “Because ‘I love oil’ sounds so much nicer! Oooh, I bet I could make ‘I Love’ Tarts with that stuff! I gotta add it to my grocery list!”
“…Sure.”
>TAKE OIL
Taken.
“IT’S A TRAP!” Pinkie suddenly screamed, startling RD for the nth time. There was a brief pause, but as could be gathered from that single word on the screen, nothing bad had happened. “…Never mind. Teehee.”
“…Pinkie, just let me do this on my own. And please… for the love of all things awesome… just shut up.”
“…Okie-doki! I’ll just cheer you on, then!”
“Whatever…”
What was next? Seeing as how the only other things in the room were the other exits, she decided to try them. Starting with that door…
>EAST_
A door stands defiantly in your way. Such audacity.
“Alright then, I’ll have to fix that!” she said with determination.
Pinkie hoofpumped the air and cheered, “Show it whose boss, Dashie!”
>OPEN DOOR_
You can’t open it. Must be locked. Oh well.
“…Or not. Heehee.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “…That’s it? ‘Oh well’?!?” She groaned loudly, and nearly slammed the keyboard again. But she didn’t. Rather, she instead chose to demonstrate her anger in-game.
>STOMP GROUND_
You demonstrate your mild frustration by violently assaulting the ground underhoof. That’ll teach it.
“Dashie, why are you being so mean to the ground? It never did anything to you!”
“…Oh, just shush…”
She supposed that helped her sanity a bit. Oh well, there’s still the other exits. That door could go buck itself (at least until she found the key).
>WEST_
The passage is far too dark to proceed safely.
Rainbow sighed. “Darn… If only that torch I had wasn’t all burnt out.”
“I don’t like dark places, they’re really scary! But at the same time, being scared is fun! So that must mean… that I love dark places! Yay!”
“Yeah, whatever you say…”
Well, this game sure knew how to narrow your options, huh? At least it won’t be easy to get lost in this temple…
>NORTH_
You are in the Endless Corridor.
The stone-walled corridor continues as far as your perception can make out, which is surprisingly far. Back to the south is the Entrance Hall.
“……”
>NORTH
The passage seems to go on forever. You walk for at least three minutes, but when you turn back around to check behind you, the Entrance Hall is right there, as if you have never moved.
…But if that were the case, then of course it would be a cinch to get stuck. Again.
“Oh. Poo. Oh well Dashie, I’m sure you can think of something!”
“…”
Just as Rainbow Dash was taking the ‘Stomp Ground’ and ‘Shout’ commands to a new dimension of purpose in the real world, there was the gentlest sound of knocking at the doorway for the second time in just under half-an-hour.
Knock knock knock!
“I’ll get it~!” Pinkie sang, zipping to the library’s front door at a speed that should’ve broken a few laws of physics or something. In a flash, she threw open the door and gasped with happy surprise. “Ohmigosh! Helloooo! Whatcha three doin’ here?”
The ones who knocked were, as it happened, three young fillies whom all lacked a cutie mark to their name. Who else could it be but the Cutie Mark Crusaders, in all of their three-trot tall glory?
“Oh… hello Pinkie,” the unofficial ‘leader’ of the group, Apple Bloom, said. “We was jus’ wonderin’ if—”
“Sorry, Twilight’s not here,” Pinkie Pie interrupted, smiling broadly. “It’s just me and Dashie. Twilight had to do book-y stuff and… other-y stuff.”
“Actually,” the pegasus filly—Scootaloo—cut in, “we were looking for Rainbow Dash.”
Sweetie Belle, the unicorn filly who also happened to be Rarity’s little sister, sighed. “Well, Scootaloo is looking for her, anyway. I was at the spa with my sister a little while ago, until Scoot came running in and begged me to come with her…”
“Hey, I didn’t ‘beg’ you! And besides, you told us before that you didn’t even like the spa!”
“Yeah, but… um… er…” Sweetie Belle shrugged, nervously chuckling. “Hey, at least I got to spend some time with my sister…”
“Ah don’t even know why Ah came back here,” Apple Bloom muttered under her breath. The others either didn’t hear her, or chose to ignore it.
“…So anyway,” the orange crusader continued, urging the conversation forward, “we… er, I wanted to know if Rainbow Dash could… I dunno… try and help us get our cutie marks today? You know, for… stuff?”
“Oooh, I bet she’d love to!” Pinkie squealed, giggling. “She loves helping everypony out, after all!” Her smile faded slightly. “…But she can’t, sorry. She’s playing a game-thing right now.”
The crusaders’ briefly crestfallen looks were quickly replaced by curiosity. “Game-thing?” Apple Bloom echoed, processing the word in her mind. “What kind of… ‘game-thing’?”
“Hasn’t Dashie told you? Twilight got her this really neat-o game! She gets really frustrated sometimes, ‘cause it’s so hard, but that’s why it’s fun, right?!”
“Uh… sure?”
“Hey! Wanna come in?” Pinkie offered, holding the door open wider. “I bet having a lot of friends around will help Dashie out a lot!”
“NO IT WON’T!” the voice of Rainbow Dash was heard shouting from within the library.
Pinkie Pie just playfully rolled her eyes and gave the CMC a surreptitious little wink, followed by her mouthing the words, ‘Oh yes it will!’ The pink pony waved the three fillies inside the library, quiet as can be, and shut the door behind them just as stealthily.
As Pinkie led the three silently towards the pegasus, coming up from behind her, she made a hoof motion to the CMC to ‘standby’. The trio of crusaders shared a wondering look with each other, unsure of what Pinkie had planned. Nothing good, as it turned out…
…At least, not from Rainbow Dash’s perspective.
“SURPRIIIIIIIISE!!”
“AAAAAAAAAHHH!!”
With a yell of fright, Rainbow Dash flailed her limbs about in shock while her chair tipped over backwards. The landing wasn’t necessarily comfortable. “OW! P-Pinkie! What the hay was that for?!” she shouted at the party pony from the floor’s viewpoint.
“You looked all tired and stressed out! And you know that Doctor Pinkie always prescribes a surprise!” the pink mare chimed, looking down at Rainbow Dash and fluttering her eyelids.
The pegasus glared at Pinkie. “In that case, Doc,” she growled, “what would you prescribe for a buck to the face?”
The party pony seemed flummoxed. “Well, depending on how hard the kick is,” she mused, placing a hoof on her chin, “I’d say either one of my Equestria-famous ‘Feel-Gooder-Now Cupcakes’… or a powerful analgesic. But I don’t see why…” Her face fell as the implication dawned on her. “…Ohhhhhh.”
Rainbow Dash reinforced the thinly-veiled threat with her ever-present glare, and Pinkie seemed to get the message. Getting a ‘surprise’ that nearly caused her to have a heart attack clearly hadn’t done anything good for her mood. Pinkie Pie, ever the pony to dislike unhappiness, quickly managed to divert the conversation elsewhere.
“…Oh! Looky, looky! Guess who’s here, Dashie~! Apple Bloom and her friends are here!” Pinkie bounced over to the three fillies and gave them each a tender pat on the head (eliciting a slight groan of annoyance or grimace from each). “Say hello, you three!”
“…Hello Rainbow Dash,” Apple Bloom greeted as unenthusiastically as possible. Sweetie Belle managed a wave and a small smile. Scootaloo, on the other hoof, was more than happy to see her idol. “Hi Rainbow Dash! What’s up? Eh-heh, Pinkie’s pretty random, huh?” Her grin faltered slightly, looking more and more apologetic. “Sorry if we came at a bad time…”
The multi-hued pegasus lifted herself, plus the chair, back into their rightful position. “Nah, it’s all good, squirt,” she muttered absently, not paying a whole lot of attention to Pinkie or the CMC. “Just… I’m trying to play this game, okay? I don’t really wanna be disturbed.”
“Just some text game,” Rainbow Dash replied, waving a hoof dismissively. “It has Daring Do in it, before you ask, so I thought it would be an awesome challenge and stuff. Twilight found it in the basement, along with this piece of junk.” She slapped the side of the Mareintosh. “Can you believe that this thing costs 20,000 bits? I kid you not!”
“TWENTY THOUSAND BITS!?!” the pink party pony suddenly exclaimed, and gasped a mighty gasp. “That’s… that’s like… a buhmillion-billion cupcakes! With frosting and sprinkles, even!”
“That’s… an awful lot,” Sweetie Belle said quietly, wondering exactly how many dresses and saddles that kind of money would buy.
Apple Bloom’s jaw fell slack. “Woah… Fergit gettin’ Granny Smith that hip-replacement, we could jus’ get a new Granny Smith! Plus a dozen extras!”
Rainbow Dash paid no mind to the completely flabbergasted reactions of the others to the cost of the Mareintosh. She was preparing to start playing the game again when she asked, “What’s it to you, anyway? Why are you here?”
“…Well, uh…” All three fillies began stammering nervously, shrinking under Rainbow’s cold gaze. Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a sharp jab in the side, which helped speed along the brainstorming process. “Uh… we wanted to know if you could help us out with getting our cutie marks… You see, we came up with this awesome plan and everything, but we, well… sort of need your help to do it.”
The pegasus let out a small, barely audible groan. “Uh, yeah, I’m sure you do,” she muttered irritably, not even turning to face them. “But can it wait? I’m trying to beat this game here, and it’s giving me such… a hard… time!” Rainbow Dash emphasized those last few words by slamming her hooves onto the desk in-between each word.
“O-oh… well…” Scootaloo’s look of hope deflated, as did Sweetie Belle’s. Darn it, they were really hoping to get to go skydiving. Now how would they reach a safe altitude of at least 8000 feet? Sweetie Belle already made the parachute and everything! “I guess… I guess we’ll just come back later then.”
Though the two dejected-looking CMC were already trotting towards the door, Apple Bloom didn’t budge. If anything, she was rather intrigued. “Say… yer havin’ a hard time on that game?”
“Pretty much,” Rainbow Dash mumbled. “These puzzles are so hard…”
“Well, Ah can help ya out, Rainbow!”
“…What?”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “Why not? Ah love a good brain teaser! We could help ya with that there puzzle that’s givin’ ya such a hard time!”
“…Ha.” The pegasus threw a coy, condescending look towards the red-maned filly, and started to laugh. “Yeah… no offense Apple Bloom, but if I’m having a hard time with this, then you’ll totally have no chance. None whatsoever.”
“Hey, Ah’m not stupid!” Apple Bloom whined. “Ah bet that me, Sweetie Belle and Scoots could finish that puzzle faster than ya’ll can say, ‘None whatsoever!’”
The other two CMC stopped as they were about to leave, and turned back around with confusion on their faces. “Wait, we’re doing what?” Scootaloo asked out loud, exchanging a look with Sweetie Belle. The unicorn filly shrugged with uncertainty.
Rainbow Dash chuckled again, and put a hoof over her face with both exasperation and mirth. “Ha ha ha… Okay then, fine! You got a deal. Let’s see if you can do it, heh heh…”
As the smug-looking pegasus surrendered the chair to Apple Bloom, she took the opportunity to stretch her wings and hover around the other end of the library while maintaining a confident smirk. The rest of the crusader trio rushed to the desk area as well, and before long the three were talking and discussing what must’ve been juvenile strategies at how to fail spectacularly at the game. At least, that’s how Rainbow Dash’s mind put it.
“There’s no way they’ll be able to get it,” she said as she laughed again, turning to face Pinkie Pie. “Can you believe those three, Pinkie? They think that they can actually beat that thing? What a laugh!”
Pinkie looked somewhat unsure. “I dunno Dashie, those three can be reeeeally smart sometimes.”
A deadpan glare from Rainbow Dash was the response.
“…Okay, biiiiiiiiiig emphasis on sometimes,” Pinkie admitted. She shrugged her shoulders and grinned. “But they still aren’t dumb. And besides, it’s a game! Kids are always better at games than adults, by default.”
“How would you know that, Pinks? I bet you’ve never played a game yourself!”
“Of course, duuuh! That’s because nopony in Ponyville has ever played video games before! I know that ‘cause I know everypony in Ponyville, and nopony’s ever played video games before. Those were sooooo two decades ago. Now it’s all about good clean fun in the sun, with a toasted bun!”
“Well, they’re missing out. Come on, it’s Daring Do! How can anypony not love it?”
“Um, somepony who doesn’t like games or Daring Do? Oooh, or somepony that doesn’t like games and Daring Do at the same time?”
“…”
“…What?”
Rolling her eyes at Pinkie’s cluelessness, Rainbow Dash flew back down to the ground and trotted up beside the CMC at the computer. “Sooooo… how goes it, you three? Stuck yet?”
“Well… er…” Apple Bloom nervously shuffled around in the chair. “We… did manage it, but… uh… we sorta…”
Scootaloo seemed very interested in the floor for some reason. “Yeah, we totally… got it, but… there was a…”
“Ummm… we didn’t really… I mean, we did, but, um…” Sweetie Belle smiled timidly, and scuffed a hoof on the floor. “Well…”
RD looked at the Mareintosh’s screen. Surely, judging from their indecisive response, they could not have possibly figured it out, right? As the text from all their previous actions was still onscreen, the pegasus could deduce how their train of thought traveled along. What she found was… well, she didn’t expect it.
- Inventory: See which items you are carrying by typing I, INV or INVENTORY.
- Moving around: Type GO NORTH, SOUTH, E, GO TO...
- Shortcuts: Press the up arrow and down arrow to scroll through commands you have already typed in. Try X... as a shortcut for LOOK AT...
Rainbow chuckled internally upon reading that. Of course these fillies would need some help. (Although, to be perfectly honest, the pegasus had to admit that she didn’t know about the shortcut keys…)
>SOUTH_
You are in the Ruined City (North).
To your left and right of the road, the crumbling ruins of old Coltec architecture stands. The northern district seems the most well-preserved, and with the least amount of overgrown vegetation, but all of the buildings appear to be empty. To the north, you can see the imposing pyramid-shape of the Temple. The entrance is open, as it beckoning explorers and curious patrons alike to enter.
>INVENTORY_
You are carrying a rope w/ binoculars, a map, a torch and a jar of oil.
>LOOK AT TORCH_
It’s basically an ornamental wooden stick, with some pitch (flammable oil-like substance) smeared on the end of it. It is not lit. It would be a lot more useful if it was lit.
>LIGHT TORCH_
What can you light it with?
-OIL_
That won’t work.
Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but laugh again. Since when did olive oil light up a torch? Unless it spontaneously combusts upon realizing that it’s being applied to the end of a torch, then it would be pointless.
“That one was Apple Bloom’s idea,” Scootaloo hurriedly pointed out.
“H-hey! At least Ah didn’t mess up near as bad as you did!”
>LIGHT TORCH_
What can you light it with?
-BINOCULARS_
You remove the binoculars from the rope and, using the lens, amplify the sunlight from above into a focused point. Moments later, the end of the torch comes alive with flame. It is now lit.
“Wha…?” The pegasus could hardly believe it. They actually figured out how to light up the torch? But… how could they know?! How could they even know that it’s possible to use a lens to light a fire…? And… how come Rainbow Dash herself couldn’t figure that out? “How did you light that torch…?”
Apple Bloom shrugged as nonchalantly as she could, but she still seemed pretty apprehensive about something. “Well… Ah know that it’s possible to light fires with glass, an’ binoculars have glass an’ all… so Ah jus’ kinda figured that, ‘hey, let’s give it a try’, and whaddaya know, it worked.”
“Oh, come on!” Sweetie Belle complained. “That was my idea, and you stole it!”
“It was not! You said ‘use the sun’, but how? Ah was the one that found out ta use the binocular lens!”
“That’s what I meant! It was so my idea!”
“Was not!”
“Was too!”
“Was not!”
“Was too!”
“Was too!”
“Was not!”
“Was too!”
“Was not!”
“…Well, if ya say so,” Apple Bloom conceded, shrugging. “Ah guess it were mah idea.”
Sweetie Belle smiled triumphantly. “That’s right!” she proclaimed, beaming. She frowned after a moment. Something didn’t seem right. “…HEY! Wait a minute—!”
“Will you two pipe down?” Rainbow Dash snapped. “I’m trying to read the rest of this!”
>NORTH_
You are standing in the Temple Entrance Chamber.
For a room designed to greet ponies upon entering, it sure is barren. Most temples you have explored usually had a death trap or complicated puzzle of some kind right off the bat, and usually in plain sight. To the west, you can see a narrow corridor that continues on into pitch darkness. To the east is a closed door. Straight ahead looks to be another corridor, only this passage appears lit.
>WEST_
You are standing in the Temple West Corridor.
Your torch, lit with orange fire, banishes the darkness of this area as you proceed. The passage splits into two different directions here: One going to your left (south), and another to the right (north). On the wall, directly in the middle of the intersection, is a tablet with the following letters inscribed: “BEWARE THE XYZZY. IT LIKES DARKNESS.” You are not sure what to make of its meaning.
You can see a stake here.
Rainbow Dash threw the crusaders a critical look. “I thought you said that you’d only get past the puzzle that was giving me trouble,” she said slowly, narrowing her eyes. “That, and no further.”
“U-uh… huh? You mean… that torch thing… that was the only thing you needed help with?” Scootaloo asked, and Rainbow Dash slowly nodded. “Oh… then you probably don’t need to read any further than that.”
The pegasus’s ear twitched, and her eyes narrowed into slits. “What. Did. You. Do.”
“N-nuttin’,” Apple Bloom replied hastily, and looked away. Her look of suppressed guilt was becoming evermore obvious.
>TAKE STAKE
You can’t carry any more things. Make some room first by DROPPING something you don’t need.
>DROP TORCH
Dropped.
>TAKE STAKE
Taken.
“You… you dropped the torch. WHY would you drop the torch?”
“B-because we needed room for the stake!” Sweetie Belle defended, but she was silenced by a harsh glare from Rainbow Dash.
“Then why didn’t you drop the map if you needed to drop something?!”
“B-b-but isn’t a map important? We thought you needed that!”
“I don’t! It’s only a map for the jungle, which I’ve already passed! It’s worthless now!”
“…Ohhhh…”
>NORTH_
You have moved into a dark place. You can barely see anything.
Rainbow Dash groaned. “Great. Stuck in a dark place. Again, why did you just drop the torch?!”
“A-Ah’m sorry, okay?! We was jus’ tryin’ to figure out what all we was supposed to do! We didn’t think that we’d need it!”
“I tried to talk her out of it Rainbow Dash, but she wouldn’t listen!” Scootaloo insisted, which earned herself a glare from Apple Bloom. “Hey, I’m sorry, but my status as Rainbow Dash’s Number One Admirer is at stake here!”
The pegasus then, at last, looked at the most recent entry on the command parser; the one last entered by the CMC before she had returned to check on them. As she read, the three fillies that were watching slowly began to backpedal towards the door…
>NORTH_
Oh no! You have walked blindly through the darkness and straight into the waiting jaws of a fearsome Xyzzy! As you are swallowed whole and slowly digested, you can’t help but wonder out loud why you bothered getting out of bed today.
-- GAME OVER --
You have earned a total of 20 points out of a possible 350, which earns you the rank of: BEGINNER
Would you like to try again? (RESTART/RESTORE/QUIT)
>_
“…What.”
Pinkie Pie let out a groan. “Aww, Dashieeeee! I told you to be careful not to get eaten!” she complained, facehoofing. “Darn it, you’ll have to try it all over again! Jeeeeez!”
“…” Rainbow Dash’s eye twitched. “…WHAT.”
By now, the CMC had chosen to forgo subtlety, instead deciding to turn tail and run as fast as they could out of the Library before Pinkie or Rainbow Dash was able to stop them. And it was a darn good thing that they did, too.
“…WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!?!?”
Pinkie giggled. “Oooh, sounds like somepony needs one of my world-famous ‘Feel-Gooder-Now Cupcakes’~!”
======O======
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle galloped away, huffing and puffing as they went, and after running for a couple of blocks they finally stopped to take a rest. Each of them began to question the validity of a ‘text adventuring’ cutie mark.
“Ugh, we’re clearly not cut out fer adventurin’ in text games,” Apple Bloom muttered. “Who’d want a buncha words on their flank, anyhow?”
“I dunno…” Sweetie Belle replied, shrugging. “I guess it is kind of silly… But, what are we gonna do next? What about our plans to do skydiving?”
“Well, if Rainbow Dash is… eh… busy, then we could always just ask Twilight if we can borrow the hot-air balloon!”
“Hey, that’s a great idea!” Sweetie Belle said, grinning ear-to-ear. Her smile then began to falter after a moment of thought. “…But, where could she be? She wasn’t at the Library…”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “Let’s just look for her then!” she suggested. “Ah think Ah know just the place she’d be at, too!”
“Well, what are we waiting for then?!” Scootaloo exclaimed, raising a triumphant hoof to the air. “Let’s go!”
Before setting off on their most recent escapade, the small band of fillies each took a deep breath, and proceeded to holler at the top of their tiny little lungs…
