Drabble Kaboom!

by Alex Warlorn

First published

A collection of drabbles that were written on request, too short for full stories, a final farewell.

A final explosion of drabbles, most written in the span of 24 hours, written by request. This is my swan song for my creative works. I hope you manage to enjoy them all. Most are comedies, some are emotional, some are a little profound. All involve the ponies we'e come to know and love.

Last Line of Requests

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Yaks Smash Sparkles ·

In beautiful peaceful Canterlot (for the next fifteen minutes at least), Princess Mi Amore Cadenza-Sparkle was visiting her aunt, Princess Celestia.

She chose to ask about her own kingdom's closest neighbors, "Auntie, I know my husband and sister law got off on the wrong hoof with the Yaks, twice, but why didn't you try to make contact with Yakyakistan before?"

Celestia said, "I actually sent an envoy to try and reconnect with the Yaks a couple decades before... but the envoy I choose... made some cultural mistakes."

A couple decades ago

Twilight Velvet said to the assembled crowd of Yakyakistan, including a young Prince Rutherford, "Hello Yaks! What a SMASHING good time right? I know you yaks don't like it when other yak on, so I promise to keep this brief. I've come to extend the pony hoof of friendship. There's no reason to keep yourself cooped up, we all need each other."

"She thinks Yaks aren't self-sufficient!"

"Yaks find her choice of words demeaning!"


Cadence's cousin, Prince Blueblood invited himself to helpfully add, "Thankfully then my mother Pureblood did save that horrible diplomatic disaster and prevented war between Yaks and Ponies. I learned everything there is to know about diplomacy from her!"

Princess Celestia remarked, "Maybe I really should stop asking the Sparkles to try and be diplomats with Yakyakistan..."

Priness Cadence said awkwardly, "Well... at least it's not history's going to repeat itself again."

A couple decades later

"I'm sorry mom! I didn't mean to almost star a war with Yakyakistan! I was trying to be friendly!" said Prince Flash Sparkle. The Yak envoys angrily pounding on Friendship Castle's reinforced front doors.

Princess Twilight patted her son the head understandingly, "It's alright dear, we've all been there."

"I'll get on it," Princess Blue Sky said, some family traditions endured forever.

In the depths below the Crystal Empire, sealed off in a cave named the Prison of Shadows that could only be opened from the outside by one of their own kind (therefore making it impossible to be opened, or so the Crystal Ponies thought), brooded the Umbrum, the shadow ponies.

Ira had asked a hundred times since she'd been born seeing nothing but these crystal walls that made up their herd's prison, but she asked again, "Mother, tell me again, why did the Crystal Ponies imprison us here?"

Rabia explained to her child, "Their love magic turns us ugly, so we can't make ourselves pretty. And since we're ugly, we must be evil. And because they couldn't figure out a way to kill us, they decided to imprison us instead."

Ira nodded, she'd been taught how even if one piece of an Umbrum survived, the essence of who they were remained and could be restored.

Ira always found this a little odd, but asked again, "But Radiant Hope's magic doesn't turn us ugly."

"Her magic isn't like Princess Amore's, who'd rather see her entire herd doomed than sacrifice even one for the good of everyone."

"Isn't that exactly what Radiant Hope is doing by helping us? You did say she was going to be my Sister-In-Law as soon as she rebuilt Sombra's body. She's dooming her herd for Sombra."

"Yes, she's giving Amore's herd exactly what they want. They'd rather have the entire herd doomed than sacrifice one herdmate? Then let's give them their doom my dear! I was willing to seal my own son's magic so he could cross the barrier, and be left in the freezing cold on the chance to be found by the crystal ponies, and if he died of exposure before he was found, I'd have been willing to try again with you. That's why we'll win, we're willing to sacrifice for the cause. Just as Radiant Hope is willing to sacrifice the rest of the crystal ponies to get what she wants. She understands the Umbrum way. Just as I'd expect YOU to sacrifice ME if it meant our ultimate victory."

"Yes mother, I understand," Ira bowed her head. "We will have our revenge at last. Though... I think we should have told Radiant Hope what happens when we're exposed to love magic, if crystal ponies see something ugly and think it must be evil, won't she think we must be evil?"

"Don't be silly, what are the chances of her bringing somepony with love magic into the Prison of Shadows?"

"Of course mother, and I guess I should have more faith in my future sister-in-law for thinking I'm evil just because some magic turns me 'ugly.'"

It was another bright and happy day in Ponyville. Everything was going just fine. And for once, this wasn’t an engraved invitation for a monster or ancient evil to attack out of nowhere.

Twilight wondered what Spike was up to, Spike was never lazy with his chores, but ‘it snows even in Florida sometimes’ as Sunset Shimmer told Twilight once, whatever that meant. The dishes from last night weren’t done, that was weird. Spike had told Twilight she should break down and hire some servants and guards at last like the rest of the Princesses, but he wouldn’t protest like this would he?

Twilight went up to Spike’s room, and found the little dragon hunched over his little table, and not reading his comic books for once. Instead, there were history papers, math problems, and language essays.


“Oh! Hi Twilight! Will be done in a minute!”

“Spike are you okay? You missed your chores, you NEVER miss your chores.”

“I did?! RATS! Okay I’ll get right on it!”

Twilight caught Spike in her magic as he tried to pass.

“Spike? What’s going on?”

“I… I’m sorry Twilight! The Castle is so much bigger than the tree house! And it’s way bigger than your apartment in Canterlot was! I tried to keep up! But… but’s just so much!!! And… “ Spike blushed. “I might have fallen behind in the home schooling Celestia gives me.”

“I… “ Twilight startled. “I… I admit, I was so caught up in losing the library, that I didn’t think how this new place might hard for you too… I’m sorry.” Twilight nuzzled him and put her wings around him. “Here, let me help you.”

“Is that even alright?”

“Princess Celestia trusted me to take care of you, what kind of caretaker would I be if I didn’t help you through your homework sometimes?”

Pinkie Pie happily hopped in place at Ponyville train station waiting for the train to arrive. Pinkie Pie wished her other friends were there, they always did everything together, even it didn't always make sense, like Applejack's apple tree delivery!

The train arrived right on time, announcing itself with a whistle. The train looked exceptionally pink and sparkly for some reason with heart windows. As it pulled up, everything was hidden in steam.

When a friendly breeze blew the steam away, another earth pony was face to face with Pinkie Pie. She had minty green fur, pink eyes, and her mane and tail were pink and light pink. Her cutie mark was three green and pink mints.

"HIIII MINTY!" Pinkie Pie said happily.


"Welcome to Ponyville! Happy you could finally visit! I can't wait till my other friends meet you!"

"Me too! So did you make it legal yet here for ponies to paint the town in their favorite colors on their birthday yet?"

"I'm working on it! So did some stallions finally move into town?"

"Yep! Don't know how we got along without 'em before! Oh, I got you a Christmas present!"

"Really? Thanks!" Pinkie Pie opened the pink and green gift box that offered her. In it were a pair of balloon and mint patterned socks.

The two nuzzled.

"Rarity!" Spike said, "There a new pony in town and she's telling everypony they should shave their heads because manes are a sign of vanity!"

Rarity gave a small happy laugh and shrugged. "Thank you for telling me Spike. Don't worry about it. Our friends and I shall reveal she's naturally bald and wants everyone to be bald like her, or that her mane is odd looking and we just need to teach her a little self love, and everything will be fixed."

"... What if she just genuinely believes that ponies are better off shaving their heads?"

Rarity laughed and patted Spike on the head. "Oh don't be silly Spike, if somepony disagrees with us and claims to be good, they're always secretly a hypocrite, and/or are using it as a smoke screen for personal issues or some selfish scheme. Nopony who disagrees with us and says they're good ACTUALLY believes what they're saying."

"... Uh, Rarity, no offense, and not to say it's ever applied to us but... isn't saying that anyone who disagrees with you must deep down not really believe in what they're saying for its own sake what VILLAINS say?"

"... I have no idea what you mean Spike."

Silver Spoon's family were old money and Diamond Tiara's was nouveau riche. The friendship between the fillies and their families, while not rejected, was not encouraged by other elites.

Not that the average pony noticed, a wealthy pony was a wealthy pony. Such a division would be as inane to Applejack as a rivalry between carrot and apple farmers would be to Rarity.

Silver Spoon was drawn to the take-charge 'I get what I want', 'history is boring' filly like a moth to a flame.

So different from Silver Spoon's other 'friends' who obeyed their parents without question (like her), who could repeat several lines of poetry from memory (like her), who accepted or declined gifts (that they were told were ahead of time) based on what their parents had told them before hoof (like her).

This cost Silver Spoon her other 'friends' but that was okay. They were friends because their parents said they were friends.

Her mother Silver Platter was slightly scandalized. Her father Silver Axe however, noticed this was the first time he saw his filly truly happy.

The ultimate change to tradition came when Silver Spoon got a video game. It was the best (most expensive) there was, and came with the best (most expensive) game on the market.

Diamond Tiara played it for about five minutes before declaring too hard and never looking in its direction again and Diamond Tiara never played it again.

Silver Spoon did not play the game around Diamond Tiara.

But one time, Diamond Tiara found Silver Spoon unhappy coming over to play.

"The end of the game makes no sense, is too short, is really depressing, and the second ending is even shorter and more confusion, and more depressing!"

"I told you video games where stupid. Sorry you had to find out this way. Video games are just bad news." Diamond Tiara said sympathetically putting a hoof on her shoulder, after all, if she thought they were stupid, they had to be. Only losers like Button Mash played them.

"It's not the game that's stupid! It's the ending that's stupid! What's the point of doing a buncha hard stuff if buncha depressing stuff happens at the end?! I thought I was saving the world!"

Diamond Tiara frowned. She always got what she wanted. This was a fact of life. Silver Spoon unhappy, was not what she wanted.

Some time after, Silver Spoon received a special update to her game. Which gave a new gameplay option, and a new ending to the game. Which was much much happier and optimistic.

The end credits, had a new addition too:
Special Thanks to Barnyard Bargains For Their Generous Donation That Made This Possible.

Silver Spoon smiled a little bit more.

Princess Twilight and Sunset Shimmer sat in a room with other girls. All of them gagged and, their legs bound, and their hands tied behind their back.

Princess Twilight had wanted to visit the human world again (after finding out her memories of Flash Entry had somehow been erased). Princess Twilight also wanted to have a private 'chat' with Sunset over 'breaking up with people for them.' Sadly, Twilight, ignorant of such things, and not used to the idea of being vulnerable after not visiting the human world in so long, had taken a short cut. Sunset Shimmer had followed.

They ran into some nice looking and nice acting guys. One wearing a red jacket introduced himself as Capper. A name Twilight looked like she recognized.

A touch from Sunset and she involuntary saw exactly what these men were thinking (seeing Sunset and Twilight as 'merchandise'). But the girls were then ambushed by some thugs from behind. Which ended with some black eyed thugs, and the girls on the ground.

The girls had been stripped of anything valuable looking, including Sunset's geode.

Sunset was horrified about their situation, but Princess Twilight looked like she was having a nervous break down. Then again, slavery and 'creature trafficking' hadn't existed in Equestria for a thousand years, why should that have ever been on her mind? Twilight could only hope that somehow, someway, their friends found them.

That was when the roof off the warehouse they were in was torn off the walls. Revealing... Principle Celestia? ... With glowing white wings, dressed in a flowing white dress, her body glowing with power.

The kidnappers screamed in terror at the sight of her. Some fell on their knees praying. Some jumped out windows. Some fainted.

Capper's friend hugged himself back and forth saying, "This' all a nightmare. This' all a nightmare. This' all a nightmare. This' all a nightmare."

Capper tried to shoot her... a barrier blocked the bullets.

Princess Celestia floated down, guns melted, doors fused, ropes were undone from the girls and wrapped around the kidnappers instead.

"It's okay everyone, none of these men are going to hurt you," she said kindly.

Meanwhile, she gently hugged Sunset and Twilight, who hugged her back, their tears staining her dress.


The police had arrested Capper and his gang after Sunset Shimmer had called them.

The other kidnapped girls were being interviewed and comforted by the police and their families. Sunset wondered how people were going to brush off 'fiery glowing white angel saves kidnapping victims in plain view', 'publicity stunt' and 'mass hallucination' wasn't going to cut it. Maybe people would just ignore it?

"So how did you know something was wrong?" Princess Twilight asked.

"This world's Spike saw what happened when he was walking himself. He was unable to contact this world's Elements of Harmony, and wrote in the friendship journal... Thankfully I was visiting the castle at the time. I've been looking over half the city for you, asking questions here and there."

"I owe him several bags of doggy treats," Sunset said.

"I guess no matter the world, you can always count on Spike," Twilight said with a smile. Then sighed, seeing Capper in the police car.

"Something wrong?" Sunset asked.

Twilight sighed. "Capper, I know the him in our world... He tried to sell us into slavery when we were trying to defeat the Storm King but... he couldn't go through with it in the end thanks to Rarity, he helped save Equestria."

Sunset said, "I wish I knew what to say. Starlight told me how your world's Trixie had gotten a clue, and was sad to see Trixie here how she USED to be before she helped me with Wallflower Blush. Unless the country's about to be invaded by this world's Storm King in five seconds I don't think that's going to happen here."

The three held their breath. Nothing.

"But I should be able to do SOMETHING!"

Sunset couldn't believe it, only Princess Twilight Sparkle would want to reform a person who just tried to do THAT to them! Sunset wondered if Twilight be so forgiving if she'd seen into his mind as well.

Sunset really did wish she knew what to say. There was no rogue Equestrian magic here, no ancient evil, no emotionally misguided teenage girl given power to act out her personal grudges, only evil men doing evil things. It wasn't even that Capper didn't have a friend, Sunset saw in Capper's mind that he and his buddy would have done anything for each other.

Princess Celestia said, "Our lives are made of a thousand threads my little pony, a thousand experiences and a thousand choices. We never know what difference will change who we are or who we can become."

"It was all his idea! His plan! His idea! I just went along with everything! He's no friend of mine! I'll testify!" Came a panicked and frantic voice from the police cars. It was Capper's friend.

"Chummer... you can't..." The look of broken betrayal from Capper's face would have been no different if he had been shot in the chest.

'Looks like Capper's perceptions of his friend weren't what he'd thought they were,' Sunset thought sadly.

The three ladies just hugged each other.

"Sweet Celestia she wrote a book," Rarity exclaimed. She was dramatically pointing a hoof. Princess Twilight Sparkle and the other turned to look at the Manehatten storefront Rarity was looking at, and spotted several copies of a book with Suri Polomare's face. The books were titled 'Lost Dreams'.

Of course, Suri Polomare wasn't conveniently there for a signing, as Rarity had presumed would be their good fortune.

"'The tragic story of Buttons The Unicorn, as her hopes and dreams were crushed under the dog-eat-dog world of Manehatten and gave up everything to rise to the top?' This is a total work of fiction!'"

"Well... it IS in the fiction section you know..." Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"Oh... Uh. Good point."

"So, you interested in a copy madam?" Asked the book owner.

"... That would be nice yes."

One of the Gods of the griffins, Boreas, did Decree in a vision upon Gilda at her front porch: "Grizelda! Now is the time to fulfill your destiny and-"

"Get off the line! We're having a conversation here. I swear, he's worse that those door to door salesgriffs."

Boreas vaporized door, stepped in, and reconstitutes door without turning around. "We weren't done speaking."

Gilda gulpped, with all the fur on her back half standing up.

"I thought destiny was supposed to knock!"

"Knock knock." He knocked Gilda on the head.

Rota Fortuna as a silver griffon appeared for a moment and said, "I did. You told me to buzz off. Now you get Boreas. He's not as nice as I am."

Boreas said, "Behold, your mighty staff of office!" He handed her a cooking ladle.

"Well, that's a relief, I thought you were gonna say I was gonna be made queen or something."

"Are you kidding? By being the first griffin to produce something edible in centuries within Griffinstone, they'll be dragging you to the throne room within seven years."



"She shall be seated upon the Scone of Stone, for creating the first Griffonstone Scones that don't taste like stone!" Declared one griffin.

Princess Twilight said, "Punny Queen Gilda."

Queen Gilda snapped, "Who are you calling PUNY!?" She hopped off her throne and loomed menacingly.

Princess Twilight stammered, "No no, I said punny! PUN-NY!" Twilight sweated. "I meant to say that you're witty! You know, intelligent, funny..."

Queen Gilda frowned more. "Oh, so you think I'm funny, huh?!" Gilda waved her ladle threateningly. "Let's see if you're still laughing it up in my dungeon!"

Prince Blueblood said quickly, "Princess, your family curse! I TOLD you to let me do the talking! ... Your majesty, I urge you, pay no attention to my thoughtless and ill-mannered sovereign."

Queen Gilda said, "Huh, I like him better already! Say, did you bring any of those mini-fried doughnuts? With the powdered sugar?"

Prince Blueblood nodded. "Specially flown in fresh from the Appaloosa Grand Rodeo Carnival, majesty."

Princess Twilight askec confused, "How did you know to... never mind..."


Dash shouted, "Hey, Gilda! Why are these jerks in armor dragging me in here?"

The Griffon Royal Guard boomed, "Pony, you dared try to attack our queen on the street!"

Dash wished she could face hoof, "I flew up and slapped her on the back! And why was she wearing that goofy-looking outfit?"

Gilda in royal robes said, "Because I'm Queen Gilda now, Dash. They gave me the throne. Uh, how do I look?" She stood up and spread her wings majestically.

Dash firs said nothing. Then started spluttering. Then finally, "BWA-AHAHAHA! This is a joke, right? I mean, everypony knows Griffonstone is a miserable dump, but making Gilda queen? Were you all drunk on cider when you decided this?"

Gilda said flatly, "... Throw this dweeb in the dungeon for a few days."


"It's fine Rainbow Dash, I'm your jailer!" Gabby welcomed Rainbow Dash to her dungeon cell, more nicely furbished than most houses in Griffinstone.


"Who else would Gilda pick? Grampa Gruff? He'd forget to feed the prisoners and when they came to let them out all that would be left would be a pile of bones."

"Uh, you're not speaking from experience are you?"

Gabby said nothing.

She thought, 'She probably doesn't want to know how much he charged their families to get the bones back.'

(thank you for FanofMostEverything, Mtangalion, howard035, and Ardashir for helping for this drabble)

Diamond Dog's place in Equestria.

"And so Princess Celestia, as you can see. The Diamond Dogs have been ignored by Equestria for years. Diamondia has existed in a state of 'provisional government' again and again as its leaders have stepped down or fled rather than deal with the mess.

"And to make things worse, pony's encounters with exiled criminals has left everypony with the impression that all diamond dogs are slavers.

"Also, Diamondia is very very angry that Abyssinia now has an embassy in Ponyville, while Diamondia does not. I believe the general consensus among the people are 'Stupid cats! Bark bark! Chase them up a tree!'

"Diamomdia would be happy to trade with Equestria... we're very good at digging tunnels, Equestria has so many gems that their market value is laughable, while we still use them as currency. Also, we do wish to thank Prince Blueblood for helping advert a war after... the "crystal mutton" incident, involving cultural dissonance between our peoples."

Celestia shuddered, after giving some crystal sheep to the diamond dogs as part of a trade agreement, the crystal ponies didn't realize the sheep weren't to be for wool until after the crystal ponies returned from a visit to Diamondia red-eyed and shouting, 'let's get rid of the meat eating monsters!' Her nephew did deserve a medal for putting out that fire!

"We will be certain that he knows that he has Diamondia's gratitude. And we'll be certain to etablish a dog-house, er, embassy in Ponyville for Diamondia as well... on the opposite side of Ponyville from the Abyssinian's of course. Is there anything else?"

"YES!" Queen Trixie barked, baring her fangs, her blue fur bristling as she stood on her paws. "Can you get Starlight to undo this polymorph curse already!? Trixie wants her horn back!!!"

Diamond Tiara mind controls her mother into being nicer.

Spoiled Rich gave a vacant smile as her colorful swirling eyes tracked the pretty pocket watch swinging back and forth.

"I can't believe this worked!" Silver Spoon said.

"I paid a fortune for this hypnotist's watch, it had better've worked!" Diamond Tiara said, standing on a stool as she held the watch (somehow) in her hoof.

"Did you use your credit card or your mom's?"

"Not the point! Now mother, you can hear me?"

"Yes, Diamond Tiara, I can hear you."

"You are hypnotized."

"Yes, I am hypnotized."

"You will do whatever I say!"

"Yes, I will do whatever you say."

"Make her cluck like a chicken! Make her sing the merpony anthem!" Silver Spoon said. "Then let's go make my mother play in the mud!"

"No! Okay, maybe later! But first! Mom! I when I snap my hooves, you will wake up, but you will also be nicer! No more being mean!"

"Yes, when you snap your hooves, I will wake up, but I will also be nicer! No more being mean!"

Silver Spoon asked, "How do you snap your hooves?"

"Don't ask stupid questions!" Diamond Tiara said as she snapped her hooves.

Spoiled Rich blinked, her eyes normal and said, "Oh land's sakes Diamond Tiara, don't ya go bein' on that there high chair, ya could hurt ya'self, unless... unless ya want to that is."

Diamond Tiara cringed. 'I guess the last time she was nice was when she still spoke like a cowpony! I am SOOOOOO happy that I never picked up that stupid accent from either of them! It's worse than Apple Bloom's!'


"Now don't ya'all look nice in yer pretty new dress!"

Diamond Tiara said something muffled buried under the mountain of ruffles.


"Why of course Ah'll give ya mah wallet Mister..." Spoiled Milk said happily handing her wallet over the puny mugger holding her up with a banana. Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes.


"Of course Ah'll sign this new darlin' little business contract! Ya'all asked so politely, of course Ah will. Don't bother to read it? Ya'all have'ta go visit yer sick mother right away? Alright. Ya'all such nice stallions!"

Diamond Tiera broke the glass case containing the fire-axe, the words 'In case of Flim and Flam, break glass' printed on the outside.


"Of course ya'can use our basement ta hide yer new little brood of eggs Miss Chrysalis, sorry, Queen Chrysalis. Ah'll offer up all the hungry youngin' my love when they hatch!"

The green light faded from Chrysalis' eyes before they could even get started. "What? But I haven't even... okay."


"Diamond Tiara! What have I told you about playing with that transplant from Trottingham?! He's the enemy!" Spoiled Rich snarled seeing Diamond Tiara playing with Pipsqueak.
The the Dark Swarm and Rainbow Swarm fought on the horizon, but Ponyville was used to this sort of thing by now.

Silver Spoon asked bewildered, "You removed the hypnosis?!"

Diamond Tiara exasperated, "I couldn't take having to listen to that accent day-in and day-out! It would be as bad as living with Apple Bloom!"

Filthy Rich said, "Diamond Tiara, now that you've made friends with Apple Bloom, the Apples and I agreed it's time you had a sleep over!"

Diamond Tiara groaned, she concluded the world was out to get her whether she was a good filly or not sometimes.


Rainbow Dash causing Rarity and AJ to swap personalities and getting off scott free.

Rainbow Dash had been bored, somepony had squealed that she'd been the one to blow up the winter wing of the weather factory and deny several ponies their winter snow across Equrstria, throwing sweater sellers into the red, blah blah, the point is, she was now suspended from the Wonderbolts until they found a way to pin this on evil mind control from Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, or some other evil overlord. And if that failed, they'd just say Rainbow Dash's friends made her do it, or they weren't pay enough attention to her and it was as much their fault as hers if not more so. The Wonderbolt's good name was sacred after all.

Pinkie Pie and Applejack had been making mountains of pies as a special order from Soarin' family reunion, so they were busy.

Scootaloo had apparently been pulled into a world where video game heroes were real and was off having an epic adventure and wouldn't be back for a while.

Fluttershy had been turned into a rabbit by Discord and was attending Angel's family reunion.

And not wanting to go near Rarity's Shadow Spade books, Twilight had gone to Friendship Castle to hang out, and wait for the heat to blow over.

Twilight had thrown together things of Starswirl the Bearded's she had collected over the years, and she was now expected to return, seeing as Starswirl The Bearded had, convolutedly, unexpectedly, suddenly, forcibly, turned out to be alive. Everypony in town was now taking bets to see how long before Applejack's parents returned from the dead, and Granny Smith was given a youth potion...

"Geeze... this guy sure collected a buncha magical junk..." Rainbow Dash said.

Now Rainbow Dash had had been warned many times not to touch magical artifacts, and had seen many times what had happened if you messed with magical artifacts... an interesting time and an adventure that usually resolved itself in an afternoon!

"Okay you magical doohickies! Which one of you is gonna unleash an ancient evil, send me to another world, or turn me into an Alicorn?"

As it was, Rainbow Dash unwittingly passed over the artifacts that would do the previous three things.

Instead she picked up a big glass marble split down the middle into two halves, it made Rainbow Dash think of Rarity's pretty polished trinkets, and her and Applejack playing buckball. She tossed it around a bit, and yelped as it neatly split apart with a click. Scared she'd broken it, she quickly reconnected it, and two wisps of light flew out.

"Okay, nothing too bad will happen."


The two wisps of magic found Rarity and Applejack, and subtly entered them at the same time, then at nearly the speed of light zoomed to the other.


"YEEEEE-HA!" Rarity cheered as she played rollerblades with Sweetie Belle, and entered the 'has always been here of course' Ponyville roller-derby!


"Remember Pinkie Pie, presentation, presentation, the first taste is with the eyes." Applejack told her friend as she arranged the pies just so into beautiful pattern.



"And this is my new line! Simple and direct! The perfect thing for outdoors rough and tumble!" Rarity displayed her new dresses. "Art and function!"


"And as you can see, by renegotiating our contract with Barnyard Bargains, we can increase profits for the farm, the family, and the good of Ponyville, I mean, we've had the same contract for decades, the market in Ponyville has changed since then! Not the least of which there being a princess with permanent residence here!"

Applejack explained, having given Granny Smith a nice glass of mundane warm milk that put her to sleep almost instantly that let Applejack have her say to her family without being shot down instantly.


"Sweetie Belle, you have the voice of an angel, but your drawings stink. Please foster your true talents instead of blindly following mine."

"That's really honest of you Rarity! Thanks!"


"Your son says he forgives you," Applejack told the dying stallion in the old folk's home, when his son had in fact said 'Good riddance!'

"I can now die happy!"


"And it's my opinion, the one who accidentally activated the magical personality swap orb, was none other than Starlight Glimmer!" Princess Twilight said.

"But I don't remember doing it! And I'm pretty sure I was in the Crystal Empire that day with Sunburst, Trixie, and Maud as stuffed toys trying to get Flurry Heart to turn us back to normal!"

"You must have been hit by an amensia spell, those happen all the time."


"Well, that means you're popular now!"

"It does? It does! Yippie! That means I can finally take off this invisible 'Disagree with me t-shirt?'"

"It's fine Starlight, we've all worn it."

Rainbow Dash just whistled.

An AU where Starlight mind controls the princesses and takes over.

"And I just want to say again Princesses, thank you for all your help in deconstructing the monarchy, and establishing a egalitarian democracy. Ad thank you for aiding in the total redistribution of wealth on all of Equestria. And of course for eliminating species and tribe discrimination for the School, and for eliminatinng entrance examines. Gifted implies some ponies aren't special. And 'Unicorns' implies that pegasi and Earth ponies aren't special."

"Yes Starlight Glimmer, thank you for helping us see the light," said the Princesses together, their eyes swirling, and their cutie marks all uniform equal signs.

Tirek stood in his medium form. He grinned ear to ear, with swirling eyes. He stood along with Chrysalis, Sombra, Cozy Glow, Flim and Flam, Discord, Steven Gallop, Wind Rider, Storm King, Lightning dust, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon (no longer needing her glasses), Spoiled Rich, and just about all other creatures in Equestria who had tried to conquer the world, or had just been incredibly rude to people or tried to con ponies out of their money.

"And all of you have now cured of your selfish and self-serving desires, don't you all feel better?" Princess Cadence said.

"Yes, we all feel so much better, thank you for curing me," they all said happily.

"And thank you for the new horn," a smiling Tempest Shadow said, her born replaced with a crystal synthetic.

"Of course! If we're to be all equal, I can't go break every pony's horn in the world! I'm not insane! We've now freed ponies, and Zebra, of their predetermined roles. Magic is now equally distributed among all creatures! And all labors are shared equally with the herd!"

"Thank you!"

"Now for our next step of making everypony in Equestria an Alicorn and making every dragon a Dragon Lord!"

"Yay!" Cheered little Flurry Heart, being held by Sunburst.

The Castle shook.

"What was that?!"

Outside the castle, was a giant ugly stallion, laughing evily-yet-insanely.

"BWAWAHAHAHA! I am the Unequalizer! BEHOLD MY EVIL! I shall make everything uneven and unequal! Nothing can stand in my way! Fall before me worms! I am better than all of you! BWAHAHAHHAH!" Said the insane-yet-evil unicorn with a twisted horn, and uneven sized pupils, his mustache curly on one side and like a lightning bolt on the other. His cutie mark classical art on side and modern art on the other.

"GO Elements of Equality! Save our city!"

One Blast With the Elements of Equality Later

"YA! You have cured me! I'm free of my evil inequality! From now on, I am the Equalizer! You've helped me see everything I thought about my original world view was completely wrong and I shouldn't try to find a more balanced view of it what-so-ever! You have saved me! Thank you!"

Princess Twilight said, "It was our pleasure! Friendship is equality!"

Scootaloo being able to fly using her own wingpower and with no drawbacks.

Scootaloo had... after year of intense therapy and support from her friends and family, had come to accept that she couldn't and wouldn't ever be able to fly. And she'd come to accept that she was 'handicapable' (whatever the heck that even meant). She could still go incredibly fast on her scooter, and could pull her two friends all the way from Ponyville to the Crystal Empire! Yes, she had finally come to accept after all these years that she didn't need wings to be happy, and there was nothing wrong with that.

- "My hero Academia" OST : All Might theme Song -

Then a meteor crashed in front of Scootaloo... except it wasn't a meteor, it was a pony... sort of... it was a pegasus, he had blond fur, piercing blue eyes, a wild two piece mane, and the biggest, most bad-flank wings Scootaloo had ever seen! His cutie mark was a winged horseshoe containing an exploding sun.

He looked at Scootaloo, and she felt his eyes digging into her very soul, searching out every nook and cranny of her life story.

"Young one!" He shouted heroically. "There is no time! My power! It must not die with me! The forces of evil even now are gathering! I! The power of All-Wings is yours! May you conquer evil with the might of good!"

Before her eyes, the stallion dissolved into sparkling golden light, and zoomed into Scootaloo, and Scootaloo's mass glowed white... when it faded... Scootaloo was the same... except... she looked at her wings, lush, pure, beautiful, fully grown, and fully function.

Scootaloo stared for a few seconds. Then grinned. "BUCK YOU FATE! BUCK! YOU! WHOO-HOO!" Scootaloo zoomed off into the sky, doing loop-de-loops.

"Grr! Where is All-Wings? He can't have gotten far! Soon he will meet his end!" Scowled an obviously evil looking pony who body was covered in pale pegasus wings from his face to his legs, and tail. His eyes crackled with red lightning. "Huh? What's that strange orange-"

And he was instantly knocked out as Scootaloo accidentally flew into him. "Ooops! I wonder who that is! Better save'em!"


"So I need to say I'm All-Wings, but I got hit by a youth ray?" Scootaloo asked in the office of Legion of Super-Ponies.

Wings-All now in a super-jail (obviously better than a regular jail), guarded by the beautiful Mane-Mist (a completely different pony from Mist-Mane).

"Don't worry, you'd be surprised how often ponies believe this sort of thing." Hum Drum explained.

"So I get wings and I get to be a super hero! THIS ROCKS!"

"You don't consider this a drawback?"

"NO WAY JOSE! Me and my friends spend most of our time in the background or getting rescued! This is a great turnaround!!"

"But you'll have to keep this from them!"

"Hey, I know this goes, they'll get superpower of their own or become my secret keepers soon enough."

"... True."

~ Fin

Patch hypnotizes Ace into being Starlight's maid with a pair of those old mail order hypno glasses from the back of a comic book. (My Little Pony Tales.

"And that is why equality should be achieved by the elimination of laws that target particular group, not by punishing the exceptional and why standardized tests are not a conspiracy against less fortunate ponies," Starlight finished giving her speech at the school rally.

"YAAA!" Shouted Lance.

"I think what she's saying is cool!" Ace said.

"Thank you!" Starlight blushed.

Bright Eyes shouted, "I still think we should remove the 'school's out!' slide for safety!"

"BOOO!" Teddy angrily shouted.

"I second that boo!" Ace said.

"Bright Eyes, you shouldn't be overly cautious," Starlight said immediately as Ace's words hit her ears.

"Hey Melody, tell Ace to tell Starlight to stand on her head!" Teddy said.

"Why you little!" Melody snapped.

Patch didn't admit she was think the exact same things and went back to reading her comic (well, maybe more looking at the pictures), and saw something on the back that gave her a fun idea.

She quickly placed her order. And 2-3 weeks later, her prize arrived.

She visited Bright Eyes first, and asked,

"Hey Bright Eyes, wanna read this comic?"

"Sorry Patch, comics are more your speed than mine."

Patch put on the swirlie eye glasses. "Bright Eyes, you will read the cooooomic!"

Bright Eyes' eyes turned swirlie, "I will read the comic!"

She snatched the comic out of Patch's hands and began to mentally devour it, going from page to page until she stopped, her eyes went back to normal.

"There Patch, I humored you."


"But seriously, Magnet Pony came back from the dead because the Magnet Pony who died was Space Pony's twin brother Pretending to be Magnet Pony Pretending To be Space Pony? That's horrible story telling!"

"I just like looking at pictures of mutant ponies punching bad ponies."


"Hey Bon Bon, wanna sign up for exercise camp this summer? You said you were gonna remember?" Patch asked her friend.

"Uh, yeah, I know I did. But thinking it over, maybe I don't need to after all. I'm beautiful the way I am, that's what my mother and Cookie says whenever I stop by his family's bakery, yeah that's it."

Patch put on the glasses. "Bon Bon, you will sign up for exercise camp!"

"I shall obey Master!" Bon Bon and quickly ran down to the office, wrote down all her information, and handed it off to the mare at the desk, then blinked. "AAAH! What have I done?! Give me that back!"

"Sorry! No backsies! See you at exercise camp! Don't worry, you'll love the health food they serve there." The mare at the desk smiled.

"Health food?! Nooooo!"

Patch evilly cackled to herself.



"It was an accident!"

"Find them quickly! There's a reason we only send out the cruddy hypno-glasses that never work!"


"Hey Starlight... " Said Ace. "Ya know, it would be a great idea if we took some of the funding from the Ponyville History festival and gave it to the soccer team, we could really use some new uniforms. That would be very nice of you."

"That's... I'm sure I can find some way to make it happen for you, I mean the team." Starlight said.

Patch frowned seeing this. She put on the glasses and tapped Ace on the shoulder who turned around.

"Ace, you will be Starlight's maid, wearing a pretty dress, ooooOOOOoooOOOO!"

"I shall wearing a girlie dress, I will be Starlight's maid," Ace responded swirlie eyed.

"Patch! What did you-"

"Starlight! You will not question this, but you will take lots of pictures of Ace that way!"

"I will not question this, but I will take lots of pictures."

Patch kicked back in Starlight's house, Starlight's mother working at the spa. Ace had put on the most pink, sparkly dress in Starlight's closet that nearly blinding to look at.

Starlight kept taking pretty pictures of Ace as he cleaned Starlight's house for her, putting all his effort and skill into making the place spotless. The floor, kitchen, bathroom toilets, Ace did it all with a smile on his face.

Starlight just smiled as Ace was her servant for the day.

But time flies and Patch realized Starlight's mother might be home soon, oh right, she could just hypnotize her too, but Ace's parents might wonder where he was, and Patch had never been to Ace's house... or seen his parents.

Then Melody stepped in at just that time, without knocking. "Hey Starlight, can I borrow your notes again? I have a major concert this weekend, so I can't waste time on studying and... what is this?!"

"Melody! This is nothing for you to worry about." Patch said with the glasses.

"This is nothing to worry about."

"This is nothing to worry about."

Then Patch got a super evil idea.

"Ace, you're done being Starlight's maid now. You will go on a date with Melody."

"I am done being Starlight's maid, I will go on a date with Melody."

"Starlight, you will not get jealous."

"I will not get jealous."

"Melody, when Ace asks you ..." Then Patch realized saying 'today' would actually be very stupid then 'today' is always today. She didn't want to leave Melody trapped with a hypnotic command forever. "In the next thirty minutes from when I'm talking right now, when Ace asks you on a date, you will say yes, and mean it."

"I will say yes. And I will mean it," Melody said obediently.

"Melody, will you go on a date with me," Ace said, now out of the dress.


And out the two went.

"I'm doing those two some good, they're both a pair of superficial egotistical ponies, they totally deserve each other!" Patch giggled.

"I am happy for them," said Starlight with swirlie eyes.

Patch went home, she got a knock at the door, and found a stallion wearing glasses he said, "Miss Patch? I'm from Hypno-Pranks Inc. I must inform you that we sent you the wrong pair of glasses, these are your real pair." He offered them.

"Wow! These must be even more powerful! Thanks!" Patch traded them and went into the kitchen to find her mother. The stallion beat a hasty retreat.

"Mother! You will skip dinner and go for just desert!"

"Not happening little lady!" Her mother smirked.

Patch startled and took off the glasses. "HEY! What the heck?! But these were working fine a minute ago!"

"Of course they were dear, your friends weren't just playing along at all..."

"They... were? Wow..." Patch felt a little silly now for thinking these glasses ordered from the back of a comic actually worked.


A young Apple Bloom brings home a 'lost kitty'...which is actually a skunk.

Note, my uncle ACTUALLY DID THAT once.

Once upon a time in Ponyville of the kingdom of Equestria (all attempts to have the term changed to the technically correct 'principality' had resulted in riots and revolts), there was an Apple farm called Sweetie Apple Acres.

And this Apple Farm was run by the Apple family (like the carrot farm was run by Carrot Top, and the Strawberry farm was run the Strawberry family! And the Orange Plantation was run by the Oranges. And the Pear farm run by the Pears, but we don't talk about them.). This included Granny Smith, (who never mentioned or spoke of her husband for some reason, while having a fully explained and in-depth reason of not mentioning her in-laws) Big Mac, (who would one day after foreshadowing with two other mares had suddenly made another mare the love his life out of the blue for no apparent reason, (which was totally different from when the Cutie Mark Cruesauders did that with Love Poison)), Applejack, and Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom even at her young age as a small filly was showing signs of being able to take things apart and put them back together again easily, able to mix the tree feed and apple pie ingredients and other concoctions together with just guesstimation, and finally had an artistic eye, and would most certainly get a cutie mark in one of those talents instead of something that had nothing to do what-so-ever with anything she'd shown promise in for years of her life.

I mean seriously, you should give these girls cutie marks in causing chaos, I mean, they're friend with the incredibly handsome and good-looking Discord, not that I've had the honor of meeting such a great and really great draconequus, and it would help these stick in the mud ponies that chaos isn't all bad, ow ow ow! Okay you stupid pretentious, self-righteous murder tree, back on track!

So little Apple Bloom, back before Diamond Tiara was taught that Apple Bloom was the 'enemy' by her mother... in spite of the Rich's most lucrative business deal depending on a continued good relations with the Apple Family...

So Apple Bloom was playing with Diamond Tiara, that age were memories fade, so everything is lively and new, well, unless the memory in question is particular traumatic! Oh why spoil the ending?

So the two fillies, much as Apple Bloom's parents had before them, wandered the apple fields, exploring all there was to explore... their eyes still a solid color rather when ponies got whites in their eyes as they got older. And since Ponyville is such a SAAAAAFE and PEEEEACEFUL town where monsters NEVER wander out from the Everfree Forest, the two were free range as free range foals can be! Just ask griffins from a thousand years ago, they're the most tasty! Oh wait, griffins don't live that long? Bah! Mortals die so fast... I hope Fluttershy is reading those 'how to become an Alicorn' books I sent her! I mean Discord sent her!

So the two foals wandered about, Apple Bloom telling Tiara what all the trees were called, in that bad pronouncement and poor grammar that ponies find adorable when it's spoken by a child, but think a cross-eyed pony is mentally retarded and shouldn't be trusted with her own filly if spoken by an adult! Happy that didn't go through right?

But then Granny Smith called out, "Girls! I've made apple-candy!"

Now Apple Bloom is not her sister, she doesn't have gluttony as her deadly sin, good thing she's always working it off right? She'd be rolley-poly if she didn't. But Diamond Tiara? Grasping desire practical runs in her veins! So of course she ran to the mention of apple candy first!

But Apple Bloom stayed behind... and she saw something with stripes... and much like decades later, her family would again not approve of her associating with stripped creatures (buncha redneck racists).

As Diamond Tiara scarfed down apple candy (her mother would make sure to hammer into her not to do such things again), Apple Bloom came in... carrying a cute furry black and white creature.

"Hey Diamond Tiara Ah found a kitty!"

"A kitty? I want it!" Diamond Tiara said, her mother never letting her have a pet (she'd just end up with a cat that thinks it's a dog anyway).

Granny Smith and Spoiled Rich turned to see Apple Bloom enter with her prize, and gasped in alarm and shock.

Diamond Tiara, as I said, grasping desire runs in her family, she took the prize by the tail... and pulled... The 'kitty' cried out...

And after the skunk had been cased out by Granny Smith... And Spoiled Rich took Diamond Tiara home for a good scrubbing...

Diamond Tiara... in the egocentric way children (and most adults) think of everything, and shifting blame to anyone but themselves, thought that SOMEHOW Apple Bloom had done that on purpose, and even as the memory eventually faded, a strong dislike of the filly formed in Diamond Tiara's mind, even as her mother hammered into her that the next Apple Matriarch should be made an enemy of and endanger their future contracts with their suppler of their biggest selling product...


"And that's the story of how you two became enemies!" Discord said.

Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom looked at each other.

"Uh... sorry about bringing the stunk."

"Sorry about, ugh, pulling on its tail... "

"That's it? Ugh! I was hoping for more drama! I'm out of here!" Discord vanished.

"Ya know... if you still want a skunk as a pet, I think I can order one," Diamond Tiara grinned.

"Uh... no thanks!"

That was when Pound and Pumpkin (now potty trained) trotted into Sugar Cube Corner, carrying a black and white furry creature, "kitty!"

"I am neither cat nor rat! Get out of this trap!" Zecora pleaded as he was carried by Pumpkin Cake.

"Comin' Zecora!" Apple Bloom said.

~ Fin

Discord practice his “hilarious” comedy routine with the princesses.

"Oh come on!" Discord exasperated. Luna, Celestia, Cadence, Flurry Heart, and Twilight Sparkle, had all been invited to a 'preview' of Discord's contribution to the yearly royal comedy night of Equestria.

"What is wrong with all of you!" Discord snapped. "I've been telling jokes and doing gags for half an hour and none of you have cracked a smile!"

"Discord... it isn't you personally... it's just..." Twilight began unsure.

"Tis that your comedy has been before all solely for thin own benefit, with all others being the butt of thin humor!" Said Princess Luna, former Element of Honesty. "Ye do not know how to tell a joke that does not rely on the humor of a sadistic bully."

"That's not true!" Discord protested. "I mean... a alcoholic pony chasing a floating 'free cider' sign over a cliff... that's totally funny!"

"If this was an animated cartoon where it was physically impossible for anypony to be actually hurt," Cadence said. "And if you were into that sort of thing... Which I'm not!"

Flurry Heart giggled.

"And you aren't either!" Cadence said quickly.

"But you using... recordings of your rampage across Equestria and slipping in funny sound effects doesn't work!"

"Oh I didn't add those sound effects later, they actually happened after I changed the laws of sound," Discord said.

"Not the point!" Twilight said.

"Dissy," Celestia spoke at last. "I will distance myself from my fury at seeing repeats of seeing my ponies tortured by you... Because I know you are still struggling with understanding that your actions were wrong... Well, they were wrong FOR YOU to do, not that you were given a free pass to do as you please because of your power."

Discord snorted, implying that yes, he still thought that maybe having great power didn't come with any responsibility.

"But if you really want to make ponies laugh... You need a baseline, something solid to draw your humor upon. Humor lies in consistency in the face of absurd, and to show you are not so above it all..."

"What are you saying?"


"I don't believe it... " Rarity said. "I simply don't believe it!" Tears of joy ran down her face. "I'm not the one being humiliated for the sake of a joke for once!"

A griffin, a lion, a goat, a dragon, a bat, a quetzalcoatli, a deer, and a sea-serpent, all with Discord's eyes and beard, in clown make up, engaged in a total melee with each other, throwing pies (Soarin' shed tears of loss), cakes, while shooting bananas, pizzas, while conjuring fire hoses from flowers they were wearing, and growing huge or tiny while making it look like a trick of perception for a second. And it was a riot.

"See Dissy? You just needed to not take yourself so seriously," Celestia smiled.

Rainbow eats Twilight's food and gets her books dirty, cue her staying in the hospital in a complete bodycast courtesy of Twi

Twilight Sparkle was going to have a great lunch. She'd completed her thesis on how different worlds would have different laws of magic, and it was no longer theoretical! She was going to celebrate! Her mom had sent her best desserts! She'd bought her favorite side dish from McPony, and she'd ordered dish from the Canterlot restaurant that Rarity and Pinkie Pie had helped, and some odds and ends she'd picked up a taste for while visiting the human world thanks to Sunset Shimmer.

And she had her favorite books nearby to read as she ate (being a Alicorn certainly had advantages).

Yes, everything was going to go just perfect! "It's almost too bad I can't share this with anyone, I mean, that would be a GREAT friendship lesson, that a meal is much more meaningful when it's shared... but it looks like everyone having jobs, on top of saving Equestria, and map missions, and teaching classes at my Friendship School... Starlight said something about me twisting the space-time continuum with my schedule and engaging the universe to end in a year... but I'm sure she's exaggerating! Time to eat!"

"HEY Twilight!" Rainbow Dash zoomed in through a window. "Don't have time to talk! My class and Wonderbolt training are kinda overlapping! So gotta eat and run! Thanks for the free meal! Bye in advance!" And like a flying stampede of swine, Rainbow Dash demolished Twilight Sparkle's carefully prepared lunch... food splattered everywhere... including on her precious first addition books that had been signed by Clover The Clever a thousand years ago (of course he was likely to turn up alive too like Starswirl, but that was besides the point)!

Twilight Sparkle was still in shock as her prefect lunch had been obliterated by the blue streak... Rainbow Dash zoomed off. "OW!" And hit a purple forcefield.

"RAIN! BOW! DASH!" Twilight turned into mini-Daybreaker.



"Aren't there laws that Twilight broke?" Rainbow Dash asked, inside a full body cast, laying on a bed at Ponyville General Hospital.

"Actually darling," Rarity said. "It's written into the Equestrian Codex, any who might eat a Princess' lunch shall be declared hostis equine generis and be stripped of legal protection regarding the incident... Eating a pony's lunch is a special kind of evil darling."

"So who is teaching my class?"


"Hi kids! I'm Lightning Dust! Now you might have heard how an evil clone of me encouraged an underage foal to try a dangerous stunt, but you just to need to know that just because you don't see somepony reform, doesn't mean they didn't... Who wants to ride on jet skis over sharks?"

All the hooves/paws/claws in the room shot up.

"I loved doing that back home!" One hippogriff said.


The other mane 6 trying to step in for Twi to fight a villain only to get beaten up badly and grudgingly tells twi to step in, who then easily beats the villain

The Mane Six were busy playing Ogres and Oubliettes (with Twilight standing in for Spike as Oubliettes Overseer), Twilight was trying to think how to subtly change some of the parts of her campaign world, to remove the expies of jerks and villains who they had since befriended when they were inevitably invited to join the heroes at their game.

The Friendship Castle shook, and a booming voice was heard, "Elements of Harmony! I am the Destroyer! Your world is at an end! I am invincible! You have no chance against me!"

"I guess the Princesses are busy again," Applejack remarked.

"You have to wonder what Celestia did before she had us," Pinkie Pie said.

"I'll have you know Celestia had done plenty by herself against would be villains," Princess Twilight said.

"Well, time to go to work darlings," Rarity got up.

Twilight got up too.

"No need darling, you know how these things always go. The villain always turns to be immune to magic, or feeds on magic, or otherwise renders it so our most powerful and logical solution with all the magic we have can't actually do a thing."

"It does seem that magic just exists to CAUSE trouble than to ever actually fix it," Applejack said.

"There was Cozy Glow, then we all teleport back to capture her," Fluttershy defended.

"Yeah but she was ALREADY BEATEN by then," AJ said.

Rarity said, "I sadly must agree on some points, such as my mane being ruined, the Smooze, Tirek, Starswirl's last spell-"

"What WAS that thing supposed to do anyway? If it wasn't to mix up cutie mark? It was a 'turn Twilight Sparkle into an Alicorn' spell all along or something? How goes that make sense?" Rainbow Dash said.

"I'M WAITING!" Came the booming voice again, the ground shaking as if it a giant foot was tapping.

"Just stay here darling! We'll be right back!"

Twilight sighed and went over her adventure notes.


Half an hour later, and having run at least two insurance companies out of business, and greatly increased the margin for several reconstruction companies yet again (though this would have happened with or without the heroes), the mane six panted, surrounding a black suit of armor whose touched the clouds.

"We've tried Fluttershy's animal, Rarity's gems, Applejack's apples, my Sonic Rainboom, WHATEVER IT IS PINKIE PIE DOES... We've tried everything but magic!" Rainbow Dash cursed.

The giant bellowed evilly. "AHAHAH! FOOLS! Magic is the ONE THING I am vulnerable to! I arranged this attack to coincide with Equestria's Mage Convention on the other side of the country!"

"I guess Spike forgot to forward Twilight's mail when he's in the Dragon Lands," Rainbow remarked.

Fluttershy said, "Uh, you do know that this is a land where a family of raccoons with no money can get across the entire country in less than a day right?"

"And ya did kinda just spelled out the way for us to beat ya right?" Applejack said.

"If I'm to guess darling, you just got this power, stumbling across it in some ancient ruin, got drunk on it, and decided to play 'king of the mountain' on 'Celestia's favorite town.'"

"SHUT UP! I will destroy you!"

"At this point darling maybe one of us should go get Twilight," Rarity said.

"Naw! This guy just he's vulnerable to magic, I beat a little 'zap' from you will make him crumble into dust on the spot!" Rainbow said.

"That isn't quite how magic works darling?"

"DIIIIIIIIE!" Shouted the black suit of armor, making the mane six get out of the way of the giant metal fist before it hit the ground sending up a dust cloud.

Twenty minutes later, the girls had lured the monster out of Ponyville and into Everfree... where they got protests from the dear of leading the monster into the environment of poor misunderstood pony eating monsters, instead of say to a densely populated area like Canterlot. But they were ignored and forced to retreat.

"Okay! That's it! I've broken nails on every hoof! It's going to take all day at the spa to get all the grim out of my fur now!"

"And we're going to have to call our game short at this rate, Spitfire won't want me to late to another performance because I was busy Equestria, but seriously Rarity, can't you damage this guy faster?!"

"I've tried! Rainbow! Go get Twilight! Now!"

"Sure sure!"

Rainbow Dash zoomed back to Twilight's castle, and in the time it took Rainbow to explain things, the two then teleported back to the site of the battle.

"Okay girls! Stand clear!" The mane six did so, and in one blast, Twilight atomized the black armored giant. "Okay, that's done. Let's hurry back and hope we have enough time to get at least through the first part of the dungeon!"

"Alright," Fluttershy said.

"Works for me," AJ added.

"Right behind ya," Rainbow Dash said.

"Of course darling."

"Even a little fun is still fun!"

Still, Twilight to herself had to admit, 'A villain actually vulnerable to magic? What a concept.'


The mane 6 go drinking on a bar and eventually everyone but twi ends up drunk despite all having drank the same amount of alcohol, they discover twi has an stupidly high alcohol tolerance

"Okay girls! It's time to get drunk!" Princess Twilight Sparkle shouted.

"But I don't drink," Fluttershy said.

"Neither do I," Pinkie Pie added.

"I have a sip of wine on occasion darling but only for flavor," Rarity said.

"Ah can't afford to, work in the morning," Applejack said.

"Same here, weather work, Wonderbolt work, school work, saving world work, solving friendship problems given in a vague unhelpful way by a magic map, my schedule is really packed," Rainbow Dash said.

"Now now!" Twilight waved a hoof. "As Princess, I'll provide a royal exception for your duties tomorrow, and ask Celestia to loan you the cash to make up for any losses, since I haven't used my royal allowance in years... It is time to celebrate, and accord to my 'Guide to Heroic Celebrations' we have to get drunk!"

"I'm guessing one of the donators to that book was the cider industry darling."

"NO WE DIDN'T!" Applejack protested.

"Well girls! Won't worry, I have Starlight and Spike on stand-by so nothing goes wrong!"

"Isn't there a law against Princesses getting drunk so they don't accidentally blow up a kingdom?" Rarity asked.

"Oh that hasn't been enforced in years!" Twilight waved her off. "And it's just us girls... Oh and Spike and Starlight, but I've rented out this entire bar just to us tonight!"


Irresponsible Heavy drinking (is there any other kind?) later

"And that's why Soarin' is the hottest stud there is! Quibble Pants won't shut up!"

"Twilight, how long does it take dragons to grow up? Is there an aging potion you can give Spike? Or a youth potion you can give me?"

"So you see, I actually have another sister, but she's invisible, has three heads, and super long tongues," Pinkie Pie said.

"Apples, apples, apples, apples, apples, apples, ORANGES!"

"BIG MAC SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE!" Fluttershy bellowed.

"... I don't get it... I've drunk as much as they have... and I'm not drunk yet? Spike, can you please send a letter to Celestia!"

"Uh... sure..." Spike said uncomfortably, thinking Twilight had lost her mind a little for this one, maybe too many sleepless nights...

Twilight got a letter from Celestia a minute later,
"'In the middle of a intense negotiation with Queen Tiamat and Princess Haruhi! Better remember to erase that part!' Oh. I won't mention this. 'Dear Twilight Sparkle, you will find as an alicorn, it is a very bad idea to try and get drunk with your friends, as you'll find the amount needed to begin to affect your facilities will be insanely higher than those around you... and what's a good girl like you doing drinking anyway!?'... Now she sounds like my mom."

"I KNEW IT!" Twilight Velvet stormed in. "I knew I sensed it! The stars said 'your daughter will try to get drunk tonight' I didn't want to believe it! But here we are! You are in so much trouble young lady!"

"... Maybe this whole thing wasn't a good idea..."

"You think?" Spike said. Starlight remembered this was why he had booze banned in Our Town.


Celestia and Luna step down as rulers of Equestria. ("Yay! We finally get to take a vacation!")

"And with that!" Celestia declared dramatically, "We pass on our power to Princess Twilight Sparkle and the other Princesses of Harmony! After a thousand years of training, they are finally ready. No 'it's always a thousand years' jokes please. May their rule be long and prosperous!"

Luna added, "Indeed! We trust ye now with Equestria's future, to led all to a glorious one! Fair well!"

And the two teleported to a tropical island on the other side of the world not any maps.

"So more 'Princess' in front of our names," Celestia said.

"I still haven't forgiven you for that part, I like having 'Princess' on my resume."

"A necessary evil Lulu, because you know what this means right?"

"Of course I do sister..."

They shouted together. "VACATION TIME FOREVER!"

And they had until Equestria's sun burn up the atmosphere and boiled away the oceans to enjoyed their vacation. Let Twilight have the status and responsibility they craved... THe sisters could enjoy themselves again at last.


Applejack falls in love.

"Ah'm Applejack, but ya knew that already. Ah want ya to know, Ah never thought Ah'd fall in love. Ah was married to the farm. I figured Big Mac or Apple Bloom would carry on the legacy. It's not like the Apples are gonna go poof soon. And Ah'd never marry because Ah 'had ta' or Ah hope I wouldn't. Ah'm gonna marry for love if Ah do at all and... and.. Ah really hope that somepony can be ya! Ah know we haven't known each other that long or that well but... DANGIT! Life is too short dangit! It's crazy! Here ya are! Here Ah am! I can't take it anymore! Ah feel the fire buildin' up inside me! Ah can't hold it in anymore! Ah gotta know, you're the one Ah wanna spend my life with! So... please... tell me... will ya marry me?"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked out from behind the apple tree they were hiding behind. Looking at Applejack kneeing before her beloved, outlined by Luna's rising moon under the beautiful blanket of stars in the orchard.

"That wasn't... the worst love confession I've ever read, I mean, it SOUNDS LIKE something from Rarity's novels, not that I'd read them!"

"I'd never figure her for the mushy type... I mean, I figured Dash would get married before her!" Scootaloo said.

"... Ya do all realize she's proposin' to an orange tree right?" Apple Bloom said.

"Now don't judge Apple Bloom," Sweetie Belle said.

~Fin? 0-0
(Discord's notes: "HEHEH!")

Flim and Flam finally get reformed or caught.

"You see Twilight? Going back in time to meet Clover The Clever did not cause any disruptions in the timeline, besides, he'll turn up alive assuming the universe doesn't end," Starlight Glimmer said confidently.

Twilight stared in shock. "YOU HAVE altered the timeline Starlight! Look!"

"What? News paper? Flim and Flam in prison, so?"

"SO that isn't Flim and Flam! I've met them! They always have an escape plan! They always have some legal mumbo jumbo to save their sorry flanks! I know! I've tried! They always have some means of staying out of prison! They just pay a fine, maybe serve some 'house arrest', and move on with running their casino until the need for the thrill of a good old con becomes too strong for them! This would never happen! There's no telling how much more we've done to change the timeline! We have to go back!"

One Time Travel Trip later

"Oh no! No no no no! It's worse than before!!!"

"What? How is this 'worse?' It says here they've seen the error of their ways, and have reimbursed all the ponies they've conned over the years and have become legitimate business ponies."

"EXACTLY!!! Film and Flam are unredeemable!"

"Uh, I thought nopony was unredeemable!"

"You don't understand how it works! The bigger the evil, the more likely they can be redeemed! Nightmare Moon! Discord! King Sombra! The Pony of Shadows! You! All great evils! I'm certain we'll get Tirek and Chrysalis redeemed soon enough!"

"What about the Sirens?! They didn't reform!"

"Different world! Doesn't count!"

"And the Storm King?"

"Tempest Shadow did all his evil for him! But Svengallop, Lightning Dust, Suri Polomare, Wind Rider, Spoiled Rich, Zesty Gourmand, Gladmare, Sludge, the experts Fluttershy hired? None of them redeemed! And those clones we eventually found out about, they were just jerks but didn't know anything else, and were enslaved, and were rebelling and seeking the only means they had to their freedom they understood, and the Tree of Harmony KILLED THEM! Because the evils they committed was too small!"

"... But what about Diamond Tiara?"

"Oh she was evil incarnate!"

"I'm pretty sure a school yard bully doesn't match up with 'conquer the world.'"

"I bet you were never bullied!"

"What about Gilda?"

"SHE MADE FLUTTERSHY CRY! What could be more evil?!"

"And Trixie?"

"If she wasn't evil, then she wouldn't have remembered anything she did while under the Alicorn Amulet's influence, it's scientifically proven fact that only bad ponies remember what they did while under mind control! The point is! Flim and Flam redeemed is a complete disruption of the natural order! Reality itself is falling apart! We have to go back in time and fix this again!"

Starlight Glimmer rolled her eyes. If they came back to Princes Flim and Flam, the protectors of Equestria, she was going to adopt the 'many worlds' theory.


Oh yes: Equestria!Discord goes through the Mirror Gate to Canterlot High.

"So tell me again what happened?" Princess Twilight Sparkle asked sternly.

Discord was sitting down next to the world mirror, wearing a towel for some reason.

"Well, Starlight had gone through the portal, and so have you, and I'm Discord, I can do anything I want, whenever I want, however I want... And I wanted to see if Celly and Lulu were principals, if I was a superintendent! Imagine, a world where no one can stop me because I'm just doing my job and still causing fear in Celly and Lulu... Of course that would mean I was, BLECH, enforcing the rules... Sounds more like Accord's doing!"

"From what Sunset told me, Tirek is just a video game character over there... Which I find very weird and consistent with the rules that have been established with that reality with how it parallels ours now that I think about it. Sunset didn't give many details, what did happen you got over there?"

"Well, I became a human, no dog for me! I wonder if Ember would make a cute dog in that universe... Well. The thing is, I had PANTS on... and I didn't feel like pants..."

"Oh..." Twilight had spent enough time in the human world to know where this was going.

"And they had the gall to arrest me, ME for 'indecent exposure', I wasn't naked! I was still wearing everything above the waste that crazy mirror gave me! And they said they were going to me a double whammy because I'd done it in front of a high school for some reason..."

Twilight sighed. "And you tried to use your magic, then remembered you didn't have any, shouted, protested, and came across as a crazy person... But thankfully Sunset realized something was up and messaged me, and their world's Fluttershy thought you were just confused and unwell, and shouldn't be held accountable for your actions."

"Nice to know that no matter the universe, Fluttershy doesn't give up on me..."

"Granted. I felt the same making friends with the girls. So Fluttershy pretended to be your niece, got the police to release you into their custody. And they practically THREW YOU back through the portal before you could cause anymore trouble."

"I may have had to give Sunset and Fluttershy some pointers to let their scheme work."

"I'm surprised you'd know the ins and outs of the laws of a city of a country, of a planet, of an alternate world."

"If I don't know all the rules, how am I supposed to break them?"

"... That... makes sense... which for you is disturbing."

"Thank you. But dear Fluttershy, the human Fluttershy, did tell me one thing first, your friends miss you, and wish you would visit, it's like there was some curse on you and them that kept you from even thinking about each other!"

"Oh... " Twilight realized, with Sunset, Twilight had thought of their friends in the human world as 'Sunset's friends', she hadn't even thought about Flash Sentry! She wondered how he was doing.

"You're blushing! Thinking of somepony? Or should I say, some human?"

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! And excuse me... I have to arrange a few days off and take a trip to spend time with some friends."


Bow Hothoof (Dash's dad) introduces Scootaloo to Rainbow Dash's grandmother: G3 Rainbow Dash.

Fate goes where it may, sometimes it works against you, sometimes it works for you.

Right now, it was working FOR Scootaloo... Scootaloo... wasn't exactly known for having loved ones to look after her... But on this winter weekend, she would be meeting and staying over with somepony that she very much considered family even if they hadn't met yet!

"I'm really gonna meet Rainbow Dash's grandma!"

"Yeah, my mother!" Bow Hothoof said proudly. "I think you'll be surprised by how much they look alike even for family!"

Scootaloo said, "Ya know, Rainbow Dash showed me a photo of a stallion who looked a HECK OF A LOT MORE like Rainbow Dash than you."

Bow Hothoof shushed. "We don't talk about that!"

Scootaloo blinked in confusion, but obliged. She was gonna meet Rainbow Dash Senior herself, she didn't want to ruin it by getting on Rainbow Dash's Dad's bad side!

What made Scootaloo very confused... was when the chariot they were riding for Scootaloo's sake brought them to the ground.

"She doesn't live in Cloudsdale?"

"She could if she really wanted to, but it's ... impractical for her, you'll see in a minute."

Rainbow Dash Sr's house was pink with green doors, with large outwards window stuff on the side, (Scootaloo was not an architect), with ... were those frills? And a big ribbon on the side with a heart shaped gold crest? All in all, Scootaloo thought this pretty house looked a lot like a purse without the straps.

The pair knocked on the door, and when it opened, Scootaloo did her best not to gasp.

She had the same colors as Rainbow Dash... and a Rainbow cutie mark, though hers was an arching rainbow between two clouds rather than a cloud lightning bolt. She moved with a grace and confidence that reminded Scootaloo a LOT of Rarity, and when she opened her mouth,

"Hello Bow darling, is this darling Scootaloo? She looks even more darling than I thought she would!" She actually sounded more Rarity than Rarity!

Her mane was done up in a rising ponytail behind her head, letting it taper behind her but always out of her way. ... And she was an Earth Pony. Scootaloo wasn't prejudice or anything, but ... but... an Earth Pony?

As Scootaloo and Bow were led into the house, Scootaloo saw more Rarity-ness... cloth, dress designs, and more! Scootaloo wondered how she managed without wings or telekinesis.

"Scootaloo, meet Rainbow Dash Senior! Mom? Scootaloo!"

"Oh she's such a darling! You know, I knew a Scootaloo when I younger, but she was an Earth Pony, and her cutie mark was a butterfly, she knew how to sting like a bee though, and she loved her sports..."

"So do I!"

"Well, that's simply dashing! So Bow has told me, several times, that you're Rainbow's biggest fan?"

Scootaloo found her hoofing. "You bet I am! There's not a pony who doesn't know more about Rainbow Dash than me! I know her inside and out!... Or I thought I did... she never talked much about her family..."

"... Yes... Rainbow wanted to make her own path, and Bow wanted to help make that happen, but Rainbow always detested having to rely on anypony for help, even when she was always winning to give it for others... It's what I told Rarity, oh yes, you likely don't-"

"I know who that is! That's one of Rainbow Dash's friend! Another Element of Harmony! She's a big fashion pony!"

"... I should have realized... Rarity was my apprentice, I helped teach her how to make it in this world... She wanted to follow her own path separate from her parents as well... "

"You taught Rarity?!... Ya know... you aren't wrinkly like Granny Smith, I expected Rainbow Dash's grandma to look more grandma..."

"I've... aged well. And I'm not 200 years old... I've lived an interesting life darling. And I've lived through some very big changes in the world when you get to be my age."

As for a moment, the way she moved, the way her stare said she was looking at her memories, she DID for a moment give off the vibe of being old.

Then it was gone.

"Now darling," she said with a smile again. "Bow has told me that you're quite the active filly! ... I figure that you're not the kind of pony who'd be interested in dresses..."

"Uh, yeah," Scootaloo admitted.

"Well, did you know I was the dashing reigning champion of sleigh racing in the land for three and a half years?" She opened her closet to reveal some winter gear and a pair of sleighs, one mare and one filly size.

"Three and a HALF years? How does that work?"

"Interesting times, interesting times."

"I... I wouldn't mind hearing about it." Scootaloo thought. 'Looks like this weekend is gonna be pretty dashing after all.'

"Mom are you sure about using that thing?" Bow asked.

"It's been a few christmas seasons since I went sleighing with someone, but I've still got it."

"Christmas?" Scootaloo asked.

"Oh, I mean, Hearth Warming Eve... don't mind me, then again, maybe mind me, unless you think you can't outrace an old lady."



The results are in, and the former subjects of the Storm Empire have voted for Tempest Shadow to be their new queen.

"It's over Yetis! The Storm King is dead! His war mongering days are over! You longer need to follow his path, to defy him was death, but now you are prisoners of his will no longer!" Tempest Shadow shouted to the assembled Yetis, her voice echoing off of the icy cliffs of the Yeti homeland.

Grubber just stood safe next to her.

The Yetis spoke in their won language that Tempest had taken the time to learn.

"So... are we correct in surmising, that the Storm King is dead, as you said of course. But also, you are the reason he's dead?"

"He self destructed to his own evil." Then Tempest Shadow realized what she'd said 'self-destructed' in the yeti-language was a transparent euphemism for 'I'm not going to tell you how they really died' because it was so transparent a lie. "Wait wait wait! I mean that he threw the Obsidian orb at Princess Twilight Sparkle, I took the hit, and ran into him, and the curse petrified him too, and he fell over the edge of the balcony and shattered while the Princess caught me, and restored me!"

"Well, I was wondering how long you were going to take," said another Yeti elder. "We were all waiting for you to betray him and take the power for yourself."

The rest of the elders nodded behind their masks.

Tempest Shadow startled... She suddenly wondered if the Storm King's refusal to heal her horn, hadn't been because he'd never meant to... but because she had given him reason to believe she'd betray him. She'd wanted power so she'd never have to rely on anyone ever again... Had the Storm King truly thought, like the Yetis here, that she was just waiting for her chance to betray him?

Shadow Tempest looked at Grubber, he answered the unspoken question. "Uh, yeah, I was waiting for you to topple the big guy and take the throne for yerself too!"

"We all figured you'd make your move after you'd conquered Equestria, and you'd either return our new queen, or the Storm King would be seeking a replacement second-in-commamd," said a third Yeti elder.

"So as it is," said the first Yeti elder, "We've already decided..." They knelt before her. "All hail the Storm Queen of the Storm Empire, lead us to glory, health and power, we are but your arms, guide our blades."

"Stop bowing!"

"As our Storm Queen commands."

"And stop calling me queen!"

"Yes Storm Empress."

"That's not-!... " Tempest breathed in deep. "I've returned with a new magic, one I once foolishly discarded, one I wish to share with the Yetis ... and the kingdoms the Storm King terrorized... the magic of Friendship."

~ Fin

A famous pony mathematician has a bone to pick with Starlight Glimmer. His cutie mark is... an equal sign.

"Where is Starlight Glimmer! I demand to see her immediately! I have a bone to pick with her."

The old unicorn stallion with a huge beard stood angrily banging on the front door of Friendship Castle, Princess Twilight really needed to bite the bullet and hire some guards.

Spike opened the door, and found the pony... and looked at his cutie mark, an equal sign.

"Uh, so Starlight stole your cutie mark and you didn't get it back?"

"THIS IS MY NATURAL CUTIE MARK!" He said, not looking that surprised at talking to a dragon. "I"m a mathematician!"

"Oh! OH! Sorry! Sorry! Okay! I'll get her!" Spike flew off.

Several minutes later, Spike came back with a meek but confused Starlight Glimmer... She hadn't left any cutie marks sealed had she? Besides that thief who stole souls, and that evil criminal master mind who bought and sold ponies' youth, and that ponies who rewrote innocent ponies' memories as a hobby, but she'd put those in jars in a trunk and dumped them into the deepest trench in the ocean.

But it wasn't any of those ponies she saw...

"Grandpa Gnarl Marks?"

Spike startled, "He's your grandpa?!"

"Indeed I am! On her mother's side if you must know! I'd heard about your failures, and I never wanted to see you again, and it wouldn't change the annoying ponies who try to 'save me' from having my own cutie mark! I had hopes for you again when I heard you'd inspired the changelings to revolution... Only to have a new monarch replace the old one?!"

Starlight seemed to shrink under his terrible gaze. "I'm... I'm sorry Granpa! I choose your cutie mark to honor you and your ideals!"

"And what happened to Our Town?! A perfectly equal community with no inferiors, no superiors, ruined because you couldn't stand to some contradiction! I thought I taught you better!"

"YOU DID! I... I just made some mistakes is all..."

"And HOW did you inspire the changelings to revolution?! 'Embrace your individuality!' ... Have you forgotten EVERYTHING I taught you?! I'm too old to lead Equestria into a world without princesses, princes, dukes, duchess', without the greedy elite using the masses like cattle. Did you even try to seize the means of production?"

"I... I wanted the transition to be peaceful, like you taught me, to have it happen over centuries like we discussed... Once Our Town showed ponies they didn't need to be part of a caste system between the haves and the have-nots, they would come in droves... And the retribution of wealth and the elimination of private property would be the next natural step."

"And you abandoned everything, for some selfish petty revenge, instead of keeping your calm and explaining to the rest of your community that your cutie mark was a necessary evil and that you intended to seal yours last?"

"... Fluttershy betrayed me... I gave her my trust and she abandoned it... I... had bad experiences with that."

"Yes, I remember, Sunburst. I heard he saved the Crystal Empire. I thought he was dead."

Starlight Glimmer gasped, "How could you say something that horrible! Let alone so... so... CASUALLY?!"

"Well, he wasn't was he? I thought it was a logical explanation for why he never spoke to you again."


"Wait wait wait! So you turned Starlight evil?!" Spike asked.

"EVIL?! I didn't teach her to break time and space to fulfill a grudge! I could have understood it Starlight, if you were doing it save Our Town from corruption, to save all our hard work from going down in flames as it had, but you were only interested in revenge! WHAT A WASTE!"

"How do you even know about that?!" Spike exclaimed.

"I asked around. It wasn't exactly a state secret."


"I taught Starlight to inspire the proletariat to rise up against the bourgeoisie. I didn't teach her to throw a temper tantrum if things didn't go your way... I thought I had taught that temper out of you... I suppose you just became better at hiding it."

Spike said, "So I'm confused, are you a good guy or bad guy? I mean, you taught Starlight all that equality stuff, so you must be a bad guy, but you talk about tempers being bad, and that revenge is bad, and I wouldn't mind Blueblood being pulled off his high horse too... So I'm confused."

Starlight sighed. "He's my grandfather Spike. I went to him after I lost Our Town... he said I'd failed him and he never wanted to see me again."

"And I didn't until I'd learned just how far you'd fallen."

"Is that why you have a sign with his cutie mark cross out in your room? Oops!" Spike covered his mouth.


"N-not your cutie mark grandpa! I mean, it's just to remind myself not impose conformity on others!" Starlight Glimmer quivered, trying to make sure her head wasn't higher than her grandfather's.

"HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SOCIETY!? They pretend that 'together we are one' when we're surrounded by ponies who are 'more equal than others.' And when YOUR selfish desires lead the world in flames, you abandon everything I taught you and go in talking about embracing individuality like Brand-New Rye-Bread?"


"Talking about individuality and replacing one monarch with another? Could have fooled me."

Starlight sighed. "Grandpa Gnarl Marks. I am sorry I couldn't live up your ideals. But I've had to accept that pony nature just isn't compatible with your vision. It will always lead to corruption, and misery instead. I'm sorry you had to see your dream fall apart. I know replacing monarchs is just a stopgap. I'm sure there's a better system than the one we're living under, but yours isn't it. I don't regret anything you taught me. You wanted ponies not to have to live under an elite. I don't want a pony with a garbage collection cutie mark to be treated as less than a person than a pony with a quantum physics cutie mark either. But I've met ponies that showed I was going about it the wrong way. Rarity, one of the Elements of Harmony, her cutie mark is for MINING, but she's a FASHION DESIGNER, and she believes in cleanliness and neatness more than anypony else I know!"

"Hmph. Typical Starlight, when something doesn't work out for you, you discard it and rally against it. Cutie Marks. Equality. You're still that same angry filly."

Starlight lowered her head.

"That's not true! Okay, she still has a temper! But so do a lot of ponies I know! And-! And-! Dangit, she's made friends! And not just 'we've defeated your evil scheme now so we're friends'-friends either! Ya know?! Okay. I'll admit, picking another kingdom's new ruler for them is stupid. But ya gotta transition these things! Besides! With the population of Princesses has been rising lately, everypony is bound to end up an Alicorn!"

"... That last part... is interesting," Gnarl Marks admitted.

"Uh... stay for tea grandpa?"


"Gods above, give me strength!" shouted an exasperated Applejack... but Leo inviting himself to dinner wasn't what she had in mind.

Applejack, Big Mac, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith sat around the dinning room table, staring at their guest of honor.

"When Ah said 'gods above, give me strength', this ain't quite what Ah had in mind," Applejack admitted.

"Well, don't go invoking the gods unless you mean it," King Leo said casually.

"Ain't ya 'gods from below' since ya rule Aquastria?"

"Ya mean that place where all those hippogriffs and seaponies came from?" Granny Smith asked.

"Oh no, that's Seaquestria," King Leo said, "My merponies get very very angry when you compare them to Novo's subjects. I don't mind though."

"It would be kinda nonsense if the sirens used to be hippogriff Ah guess," Applejack said.

"Who do you think gave that pearl to Novo to begin with? Do you think she just had it?"

"So yeah took times out of yer busy schedule just visit a pony whose group of friends visited ya once?" Applejack asked. "Just cause Ah said 'give me strength'?"

"Well, strength itself is one of the aspects of existence I am. And it really any different from what my cousin Celestia does?"

"It is a much shorter trip from Canterlot to Ponyville than from Aquastria."

"'Distance', 'here', 'there', I think your friend Pinkie Pie would point out that space has far more short-cuts than you think it does. And it's not like I'm an ungrateful guest. Don't you like the new crab apple trees?"

"They're, gonna be hard to buck," Apple Bloom said, not that bucking was her strength anyway.

"Yep," Big Mac said.

"At least they stop tryin' to pinch ya with their claws after a bit after ya buck'em!" Granny Smith said.

"It's before that, that's the problem," Applejack said, bandage on her nose.

"It's ain't any harder than harvesting Zap Apples if ya ask me!" Granny Smith said.

The literal royal sea-lion chuckled, "I promise they'll be a hit with the hippogriffs. They copied their undersea civilization after ours after all."

Apple Bloom asked, "Just what were ya askin' the gods above to give ya strength fer anyway?" Apple Bloom asked.

"... When the giant floating fish with a lion's head showed up invitin' himself for dinner showed up right after... Ah kinda forgot."

"Ah forget too, did Ah tell ya me and Tender Taps are goin' on a play date?"

"NOW AH REMEMBER! Gods above give me strength!" Applejack stomped a hoof... and the entire barn shook.

"Ask and you shall receive," King Leo chuckled.


Cozy Glow and Tirek pull a prank on the Guards in Tartarus.

Sealed in Tartarus, the tyrant Tirek and his apprentice Cozy Glow sat in cages next to each other.

"I'm bored," Cozy Glow said.

"I"m bored too," Tirek said.

"It's gonna be a bit until the next of our evil plan goes into affect."

"Won't your parents just break you out?"

Cozy Glow shrugged. "Not sure, my father was a demon and my mother was a jackal. My adopted parents have no clue of course. I don't count on them being able to bully or protest me into getting released though. At least I didn't get redeemed."

"Ugh! I know. A fate worse than never-being-heard-from-again, and they call us monsters. Still... I'm starting to think enduring those seven idiots for eternity would have been preferable to this boredom. Ugh!"

"Actually, that goes give me an idea on how to get rid of our boredom for a minute."

"How so?"

"Let's prank the guards," Cozy suggested.

"Not that wouldn't be amusing, I also think it would be rather stupid on our part."

"Good thing we're already sentenced to life in this place aren't we? We're already stuck together in separate cages with no amenities what-so-ever. We're already in the most high security prison in existence, and they don't turn villains to stone anymore or make villains already captured 'never-heard-from-again'. They legally can't do worse to us!"

"... Fine. What do you have in mind?"


As the new guards arrived, Tirek and Cozy Glow practically stage whispered to each other,

Cozy lead in, "Our plan has worked! Now that we are both in Tartarus, we can easily escape our cages, and get the key to the secret vault of incredibly evil weapons!"

"Quiet fool! What if someone hears that it is hidden in the stench-kows den?"

"Ha! Who is going to hear? The guards? They're so stupid! They'd just report it to the Element of Harmony, who'd then get the key themselves and get all the glory, while the guards will stay a joke who can't defend a cup of chocolate pudding from a parasprite! When they could have done it themselves and finally given the royal guard the recognization it so desperately deserves!"


Two incredibly stinky royal guards sat before Princess Luna, who was wearing a clothes pin on her royal nose.

"So tell us again, how did ye exactly think searching for a fictional key among the reeking cattle of the netherworld would improve the standings of the royal guards loyal service to the ponies of Equestria again?"

"It made so much sense at the time..." One of the guards said.

"And I thought they were making up the stench-kow part to throw us off," said the second.

"No, they're officially listed in the Equestrian Monster Manual, readith a book."


(EG!Scootaloo plays with her Tech-Deck--that's finger skateboard toys--while a tiny Pony!Scoots shows her up with some sick tricks, riding a fingerboard like a real skateboard.

A giant sized human Scootaloo squatted down among a model personal skating park, playing with her finger skate board. Comparing tricks with a tiny pegasus Scootaloo.

As the two did a steep race down a slop and up the opposite wall, giant Scootaloo stared at her tiny counterpart.

"H-hey! Flying is cheating!" The giant Scootaloo said barely being able to hold back a laugh.

"It's not flying it's hang-time!" The pony pegasus answered epically, her mane flapping in the air, her wings were not buzzing.

"This is a dream you know," Giant Human Scootaloo said.

"Yeah, I knew that as soon as I realized I was skating without a helmet, but it's MY dream!" Tiny Pegasus Scootaloo replied.

"No way! It's my dream!"

"Actually it's both your dreams!"

"Vice-Principle Luna/Princess Luna!"

"Pegasus Scootaloo is correct, I am Princess Luna, goddess of the night, guardian of the dream world. And you two are having a shared dream. It seems Princess Twilight left the portal between worlds open, and you both happened to be dreaming about skate boarding tonight, and this caused your similar minds to overlap."

"Oh okay!"

"That's cool!"

"I don't get the appeal myself, but as the guardian of dreams I've seen many things that ponies prefer to keep private, fantasies and fears that are best left personal."

"Hey! There's nothing creepy about skateboarding!" Pony Scootaloo said.

"Or... playing with cool finger skateboards..."

"I meant the micro/macro thing."

"Oh," they said together.

"As I said, I am not one to judge. I've seen ponies who think seeing other all tied up and/or being all tied up themselves as fun. Others find being hypnotized and turned into another species while wearing a maid costume as the embodiment of bliss. Some find a zen like state in being turned to stone. Others think being turned temporarily into a cake and EATEN is fun. And then there are those who just think hooves are the most interesting part of a pony. I won't say who of course. But there are humans and ponies you both know who have interesting that are best kept private."

Both Scootaloos thought the same thing, 'Twilight Sparkle has a thing for mind control.'

"Yeah, I learned that after Gabby Gums."

"I learned that after Anon-a-Miss."

The two orange girls looked at each other.

"Used media to spread nasties secrets about everyone/everypony for selfish reasons?" They echoed. They then nodded.

"It seems that constants and variables do exists across all realities," Princess Luna mused. "Now this particular avatar of mine would like to see more of your skateboarding before Twilight remembers to close the portal and this shared dream comes to an end." Luna had a hat appear on her head, along with a 'Go Scootaloos' fang, and sat down in the bleachers.

The Scootaloos happily obliged.


Discord holds a villain still while the girls blast both of them with a rainbow preparing to get turned to stone, but being surprised that he wasn’t turned to stone due to him accepting the magic of friendship.

King Inferno, the previous Dragon Lord who had refused to given up his position when his term ended, and whom Torch had challenged and toppled, had escaped Tartarus, and if allowed to go unchallenged would destroyed Equestria, and pretty much any other kingdom he felt like.

But thankfully the Elements of Harmony weren't about to let that happen! They had the regalia to turn the giant dragon into a solid rock mountain! But for being a giant dragon, he was surprisingly fast, and his fire breath was somehow about to block the Elements of Harmony,

"Because of course it does! Nothing can ever be simple or easy for us!" Rainbow Power Applejack cursed.

Then Discord teleported behind King Inferno, who was, of course, somehow able to deflect the all powerful magic of Discord, because of course he could.

He grew to giant size and wrestled with the giant dragon. "I've got him! BLAST AWAY!"

"But what about you!?" Rainbow Power Fluttershy asked worried.

"Don't worry about me, just go for it!"

"I love you Discord!" Fluttershy shouted with tears in her eyes.

"I love you too!"

And the Rainbow of Light came forth, and washed over Discord and Inferno.

"NOOOO! NOT AGAIN! MY FIRE IS ETERNAL!" Inferno snarled as he was turned to stone. Discord prepared for his final fate... only...

"Huh?" Discord looked at himself, he wasn't stone, shrank himself back to pony size and checked himself over. "This is new."

"Discord!" Fluttershy hugged him. Then blushed insanely. "I! UH! WHAT I SAID!" Fluttershy was bright red all over and ready to faint.


"So when's the wedding?" Rainbow grinned.

"So... anypony gonna ask why Discord ain't a rock?" AJ asked just that.

"Isn't it obvious?" Twilight said with a smile. "Discord has accepted the magic of friendship."

"Blech! Don't make it sound like I'm some sort of nice guy now!... I just happen to enjoy your company now and consider your continued existence worth risking my own for, and I know I can open to you without judgement, I occasionally offer boons without expecting payment in return, and I longer seek to twist ponies into abominations of themselves for my own amusement," Discord said.

"We're your friends too Discord," Flutterhy said.


Starlight attempts to flirt with Sunburst, but he's completely clueless.

"Oh Sunburst!" Starlight said. "Your glow is like the sunrise!"

"Really? I thought I was more an orange color than a sunrise."

"Your mane is only matched by your fiery passion!"

"I think it's because I forget to comb it that ends up looking like tongues of flame."

"Your eyes are like gems!"

"Really? Maybe it's because of my prolonged exposure to the crystal heart!"

"You are my light in the darkness!"

"Thanks, I know some good illumination spells."

"I wish for a night for joy between us!"

"Really? Did you know they released Dragon Trap?! I was saving it for your birthday!"

"Really? Let's have fun while reading Daring Do, and organizing books! Wait that doesn't sound right! Spike don't look over my shoulder!"


"Dangit! Why is this so hard? It was so much easier to write when I didn't know what I was doing!" Twilight fumed standing over her writing desk and her pros of Starlight and Sunburst.

Spike asked, "Didn't the Equestrian literally society ban you from writing romantic novels for a thousand years?"

"Uh, this isn't romance writing! This is simulations of possible relationships to cut-off friendship problems before they happen!"


"Hey Twilight!" Starlight Glimmer stuck her head in. "I asked Sunburst on a date! He said yes! Later!" He stuck her head out.

"W-what!? That simple?! B-but- Agh!"

"Life is stranger than fiction."


The Alicorn of Death, King of the Grim Reapers, Mortis asked one of his angels of death, "So, Ryuk, what did you learn as Mr. Cake?"

Ryuk said, "... That life is precious and not easily taken away."

Mortis nodded, "Good. Now, back to your assigned tasks."

Ryuk bowed, "Yes, sir. but... I have a really big favor to ask."

Mortis raised an 'eyebrow' or would with his skull face, "And what is that?"

Ryuk pleaded, " ...Please don't have me be the one to write Cupcake, Pound Cake or Pumpkin Cake's names in my Death Note!"

Mortis decided, "... Very well. But it'll cost you an apple. "

So long, and thanks for all the love

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"Wow! We finally got the castle of the two sisters restored!" Princess Twilight said proudly. The girls sat in the main room of the castle, fully restored to its prime.

"Ya know," Applejack said, "Ah gotta admit, it's like we forgot we were even doing anything with this place after we opened the harmony box."

"Well, we did have to fight Tirek, then we had to be sent on our first mission by the cutie mark map..." Twilight explained.

"Yeah, Ah get that, but seriously, after all the hard work we put into place... it was like YOU had your own castle right close to Ponyville, with the library that was yer beloved home conveniently destroyed, there was no need for us to bother to fix up this place... when that wasn't even the point of why we were doing to begin with."

"Applejack you're just being strange, did you have some bad cider?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Speaking of the Harmony Box darling," Rarity said. "What happened to our Rainbow Power? We used it once, and then Luna says we used it in her dream to save her from being Nightmare Moon again, and that was it. After all the lead up, build up, and being proven worthy of it, it does seem like a cheat."

"Perhaps it just served its purpose?" Twilight said.

"What about Storm King?!" Rainbow said.

"Well, if we had just 'kicked flank' then and there, Tempest Shadow would have never reformed, so it was for the greater good."

"That makes sense," Fluttershy admitted.

Rarity said, "If we're bringing up, 'served it purpose' then why do we leave the Element of Harmony with the Tree of Harmony? The Plunder Vines are no longer around, which was the entire reason we gave them back to it to begin with. And we saw we could remove them without trouble defeating the Pony of Shadows..."

"I gotta admit, that does kinda make us seem like idiots," Pinkie Pie said.

"Now girls! I know this all seems strange! But there's a reasonable and logical explanation for all it I'm sure! Just like how we learned the Tree of Harmony was created by the Pillars!"

"I gotta admit," Rainbow Dash snorted. "Having read a lot of Daring Do's adventures? I think the Tree of Harmony was cooler when it WAS a mystery! It loses it's mystical mysteriousness! Sure it make sense... kinda... where the heck did they get the 'seed' anyway? How did Discord know about it? How did Luna and Celestia know using the Elements would weaken it? What did Equestria do BEFORE the tree was around? AGH!" Rainbow Dash suddenly looked like she had a horrible headache. "If Celestia didn't always exist, and ponies always had to move the sun, then how the hell did ponies evolve at all!? AAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Princess Twilight Sparkle broke into a cold sweat.

The girls all fanned Rainbow Dash, keeping her from hitting the floor, and waiting for her to calm down.

"Twilight," Fluttershy said meekly. "Not to add more troubles, but now that -I- think about it... what about Mage Meadowbrooks' artifacts? Shouldn't we have recovered them for her? And with how they were magical artifact all created by her... isn't that UNICORN magic? Not EARTH PONY magic? Starlight isn't stupid... she wouldn't make up a lie about a stick that could remove cutie marks unless it stuck, and that really seems more like unicorn magic than Earth pony magic..."

"Girls! Girls!" Twilight said, finding herself for once in her life trying NOT to think about something, like something terrible would happen if she did! "I know that sounds strange when you say it like that, but I... don't THINK I ever said she actually made them... "

"That seems rather convoluted..." Rarity said.

Applejack said, "Speaking of Starlight Glimmer, and other ponies we've known who've turned over a new leaf... anypony notice how Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon just vanished into thin air after Apple Bloom and her friends earned their cutie marks? Haven't seen her around town except for the one time eating pie. What has she and Silver Spoon been up to? You think she'd be hangin' around Apple Bloom more!"

Then Twilight against her will, realized something.

"And! Speaking of Apple Bloom!" Twilight was shaking. "We all saw the talents Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle were all obviously going to have: design, dancing, and singing!"

"Yeah," Pinkie Pie admitted. "We were all having this BIIIIG betting pool on how they were going to finally realize those were their talents."

"Then Apple Bloom's talent for alchemy showed up, then Scootaloo's for stunt riding and mechanics... And then suddenly, their talent is being Cutie Mark Crusaders? It's like destiny itself was rewritten when we weren't looking!"

Twilight felt terrified, like a veil had been lifted from her mind.

Rainbow Dash got her hooves still dizzy. "And... then... speaking of Scoots... The Washouts... they seemed to go poof after their show in Ponyville. I know how popularity works, and even if they were a fad, having massive amounts of popularity like that that wouldn't just vanish after a single incident where nopony seemed to get hurt. It's not like they'd all go to doing weather work, or they'd dump Lightning Dust... But they were rivaling the Wonderbolts... and they had that 'underdog' and 'nothing to lose' appeal going the audience love...."

"THE PONY TONES!" Rarity gasped like struck by lightning. "What happened to Toe-Tapper, and Torch Song?! I! I can't remember WHEN I formed the group! I can't remember when I met them! It's like they appeared and disappeared!"

"Well... my fangs disappeared too... I mean, the ones I had after I became a vampire bat for a while... OOPS! I kinda meant to be keep that a secret in case Twilight wanted to 'study' me or something!"

"Fluttershy! I'd never experiment on a friend like that! And not without permission!" Twilight said.

"I know, sorry, I'm kind of known for silly fears."

"I wonder if you can turn into a Thestral now," Twilight wondered.


"Sorry sorry!"

"So Twilight, where's Tempest Shadow?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"OH! That one's easy! She got shipped up north to work in the Crystal Empire with a foalhood friends of hers, she really likes working there from what she's said. Oh and she's joined a 'secret' strike group of former villains of Princess Luna's. Celestia and Luna aren't the only ones with spies, heh. See? Nothing to worry about at all, nothing wrong is happening with the consistency of the world."

Fluttershy said, "But uh, what about all the other things we-"

"NOTHING AT ALL!" Twilight snapped. "It's not like our universe is filling up with forgotten factors that should still be in play but aren't, and other factors that have appeared out of nowhere only to vanish again! Like our world is filling up with contradictions and will soon be reset to avoid calamity... but that's just silly, right? Right!"

Pinkie Pie sighed, and she look at he friends, "Well, no reason in pretending anymore. Not much time left until the next reboot. I hope whoever we are in the next world, that we're still friends... Me remembering the old world was a glitch before. So I doubt it'll happen twice. Which means... They'll be truly forgotten... Wysteria, Kimono... Minty! I was really hoping to find her again before this world ended too... I guess our hopes and dreams don't always come true... But I want you girls to know, I'll always love you too friends."

The End?

Sheep Count

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The army of Storm Troopers, Yetis, surrounded the sheep of Sweet Apple Acres.

One of the Yetis shouted. "Livestock of Ponyville! Your masters have fallen, we are thus your NEW masters, give us no trouble, and you will be spared!"

Fleece the ram, known for pointing out to Applejack that she could just ASK THEM to go into a pen rather than do the run around with her pet dog (and who had renegotiated their contract for increasing the pay rate for their wool), raised a hoof and asked simply.

"Okay, but first, could you first tell us how many of us are here? We stupid sheep are horrible at counting, and you want to know how many slaves you've brought back to your superior."

"Fine." The Storm Trooper began to count with his finger. "One, two, three, four, five... six... seven... eight.... nine.... zzz." The Yetis fell asleep on their feet, their helmets vibrating like they were sawing logs.

"Quick! Strip them! Tie them up! And everysheep run for it! Did you see those garish 'storm brand' sweeter they're selling? I'm not letting my wool be used for that!"

"Do we give them a pillow?" Ask another sheep.

"Of course, we're not savages."

"Old Crusaders and New Princesses" 1 dollar drabble commission

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In Friendship Crystal Castle three elderly ponies sat at the round table with the Alicorn Princesses of Honesty, Loyalty, and Generosity. The others were off helping Dragon Lord Ember put down a coup by self-proclaimed 'Dragon Empress' Alexandria.

Tea and cider were set up for the ladies and the 'fun lovers'.

"So Apple Bloom, how are ya doin' on ascendin'? Ya'd make a great Princess of Invention Ah think!" Applejack grinned, here she didn't have to be Princess Veritas.

"How about you Sweetie? We could use a princess of singing!" Rarity said excitedly.

"And what about you Scoots?" Rainbow Dash grinned.

"Ah'm gonna be uploadin' mah mind into an android body," Apple Bloom said simply.

"Oh," Applejack said awkwardly. "But how will ya taste pies?"

"Oh I'm building an android with taste buds too!"


"I'm preparing the ritual to become a lich!" Sweetie said with an excited smile.

"But aren't all lichs evil?" Rarity asked.

Sweetie gasped. "Rarity, what a prejudice thing to say!"

"Oh, quiet right Sweetie, I apologize."

"I'm with Gilda," Scootaloo said. "Immortality is a sucker's game. I'm looking forward to retirement in the afterlife, thank you very much. I'll tell her you said hi Dash."

"Thanks Scoots," Rainbow Dash said hugging her adopted daughter.

"So you're not mad?" Sweetie asked.

"It's different, but I know you'll make me proud, after all, you always have," Rarity nuzzled her.

Sequel to "Old Crusaders and New Princesses" By FanOfMostEverything

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"Well..." Books and e-readers orbited Twilight like a star's asteroid belt. "Past trials do seem to indicate that transferring your soul to an unliving, unfeeling phylactery has some adverse effects on your psyche, especially in the long term as mortal ambitions and bonds feel increasingly irrelevant. Of course, the so-called 'demilich' hypothesis is based on the assumption that all souls will eventually long for death, and we're eternally living proof that that isn't the case.

"There could be a correlation without causation here. Most liches throughout history were already antisocial loners who forsook interpersonal bonds for power, and who sought undeath just to hold on to that power for eternity. Sweetie's reasons are pretty much unprecedented."

Rarity had learned much over the decades—one couldn't help it when knowing Twilight for that long—but she felt no more enlightened than the first time Twilight discussed the finer points of arcane radicals during a dress fitting. "Could you summarize, darling?"

Twilight smiled, the research material flying back to its proper spots. "Put simply, keep being her friend and she won't have any reason to turn evil."

Rarity returned the grin and nodded. "That much I think we can all manage."

Dragons And Cosplayers

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"About how Ember and the Equestrian dragons would react to those dragon suiters?"
Drabble commission for Ardashir.

Dragon Lord Ember looked at the photographs Princess Twilight showed her. "This is disturbing."

"You don't like that humans would want to imitate you?" Twilight asked.

"That's not the problem! The body shape, the texture of the scales, the size of their heads... ugh! It's actually LESS disturbing to look at the amateur costumes, they are more iconic, symbolic! I feel like I'm looking at an artistic rendition of a dragon... rather than a drunk changeling trying to infiltrate my kingdom."

"It's not... THAT bad is it?" Twilight asked nervously.

Ember focused her eyes on Twilight. "Tell me, if you saw a creature wearing a disportioncate and exaggerated costume of a pony, would not find it uncomfortable?"

Twilight thought of some of Pinkie Pie's ... 'pony costumes' and shuddered. "Okay, I see your point."

"Which is why I have to commend Spike for thinking first of selling his molts to them."


"Oh it'll be perhaps even more creepy, seeing them go around with our molts that won't fit right and be misshapen... but if they're willing to part with TREASURE for it... Teenage dragons are going to be flooding the market with their discarded skins!"

"Ah... okay... So... WOULD YOU want to be making a public appearances?" Ask Twilight tentatively.

"For how much?"

"I thought you were trying to be a PROGRESSIVE Dragon Lord?"

"I am. That doesn't mean I'm about to be a PONY Dragon Lord."


Lose The Bet, Win The War (Drabble winner YangisCool)

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"Here is your tea mistress," Rarity said, dressed in a frilly french maid uniform.

"Thank you Rarity darling," Rainbow Dash said taking a sip. This was a lot different than Rainbow had envisioned. After Rarity had lost her bet, Rainbow Dash got her own live in maid for a month!

Rarity for her part... didn't mind at all. Helping others and giving her best effort came naturally to her. Cleaning up, washing, organizing, scheduling... It was felt so naturally to her. Then came phase two. Exposing Rainbow to a little classical music here, showing her some pegasus vintage artwork there. Making her some refined meals. Giving her some nice relaxing mane washings... Providing readily available feedback for her stunt work, subtly becoming more graceful and elegant. And finally, the beautiful dresses.

One morning, Rainbow Dash had looked into the mirror, seeing her decorated eyes, her curled mane, her lady-like poise, and hearing her own prim and polite voice, only to realize Rarity had turned her into a proper lady without Rainbow even realizing it! And... Rainbow Dash didn't mind.

Rarity had lost the bet, but she had won the war.

Request Night: Hamsters, Trixie, Dates, Okami, Babies

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sonicandmario826 Celestia taking care a baby Twilight and Sunset after a magical mishap. 126 words.

"Well sister! You always did want to have both of them!" Luna teased playfully.

"Not now Luna," Celestia sighed. "I wonder if this is how Cadence and Shining Armor feel about Flurry Heart?"

"Nay sister, it is double!" Luna laughed as two baby Alicorns, a purple one and a golden orange one, flew about the room. "Their parents did say that they needed you to look after them until Sun Burst finished his spell to limit their magic. And while as far as magical accidents go, Twilight has certainly gotten a way that she won't have to worry about us retiring for a long time!"

"I thought you wanted to retire."

"No sister, YOU want to retire, and I don't want you to be alone."


Kendell2 Twilight meets Issun and Ammy from Okami. 153 words.

"Incredible! I've never seen a white wolf with red markings before! Are they painted on? What's with that sun disc on her back?" Twilight Sparkle gasped, looking over the beast.

"Watch it ya dumb horse!" Shouted a tiny leaping something that glowed green. "This ain't no wolf, this is Amaterasu!"

"Who?" Twilight asked then startled and said. "What? A talking flea?"

"I ain't no flea! I'm Issun the traveling artist! And what do ya mean ya don't know who Amaterasu is?! Sun goddess ring a bell?"

"I'm pretty sure we have one of those already."

"Oh, hello me!" Celestia waved a hoof.

The white hoof barked and waved back.

"HUH?!" Twilight and Issun exclaimed.

"Oh we're different aspects of the same entity." Celestia explained. "In the human world, Amaterasu is more associated horses."


"Is that a religious shrine Twilight has built to Celestia?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yep," AJ said.

"Okay, just making sure."

MtangaLion Spike takes Rarity, under a temporary dragon transformation, to a nice restaurant.

"So how does my dress look on me Spike?" Rarity asked twirling around in her dress made just for the occasion.

"You look great Rarity!" Spike said, Rarity currently eye-level with him. Truth be told,Rarity could be wearing rags and be covered in mud and Spike would still find her beautiful, but Spike knew how much Rarity cared about the effort she put into her appearance.

"Well then, let's be going, we have a reservation after all!" Rarity reached out and let Spike take her claw.

Tired of awkward looks, Rarity had asked Twilight for a transformation spell, after refusing Spike and Rainbow Dash a hundred times for a unicorn and griffin transformations, Twilight relented with Rarity.

Now instead of awkward stares from ponies, the two winged baby dragons happily entered the restaurant with the reservation made in Spike's name. Rarity admitted, having wings was so bad,... maybe it was time to try and ascend and become the goddess Spike already saw her as.

YangIsCool Starlight and Sunburst get married, Trixie isn't jealous.
122 Words.

"I'm just happy you're not jealous Trixie," Twilight said as Sunburst and Starlight went on her honeymoon.

"What? You think I'm attracted to SUNBURST?! Oh please! He's nice but not my type... now, if you asked me if I was jealous when that waff of a yellow wallflower married the only being great and powerful enough to match Trixie's great and powerfulness and the only one whose presence could come close to matching Trixie's!... Then maybe Trixie might have admitted to being jealous... but that is not here or now."

"So that's why Discord and Fluttershy made you godmother to their child?"

"Trixie enjoyed seeing Rainbow Dash be jealous ... though Trixie does dread the idea of having to raise a surely demi-goddess."

Richforce The Dazzlings get turned into hamsters and are made Principle Celestia's pets.

"Well this is a another fine mess you've gotten us into!" Aria Blaze snarled.

"Shut up Aria! I'm thinking!" Adagio hissed.

"What is there to think about?! We're hamsters! All because you thought it was a fun idea to challenge Celestia!"

"VILLAINS DEFEAT HER ALL THE TIME! I thought it was going to be easy peasy!"

"THERE ARE NO TACOS!" Sonata cried, tears screaming down from her eyes, clawing at the walls of their cage.

"And we have to deal with that!" Aria hissed.

A janitor shape shifted partially into the ousted queen of the changelings. "Want to help take over the world and have revenge? Or sit here and eat food pellets for a few years before you die of old age?"

"We're in!" The three polymorphed Sirens said together.

"Rainbow Dash turns Rarity into a tomboy and the latter enjoys it."

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Rarity gasped. "Rainbow Dash?! Is that you? What happened?!"

Rainbow Dash stood before her, but now, Rainbow Dash was an Earth pony, and her cutie mark was an arching rainbow, and she moved with a poise and grace that Rarity could almost envy. "I woke up darling. We've all been living in a day dream. But now we're all finally waking up darling. It was very nice of you to take care of my shop for me princess, but I can take over from here."

Rainbow Dash nuzzled Rarity. Rarity shrank down to the age of a filly, her mane and tail becoming a rainbow pattern, her fur a bright pink, her cutie mark became a heart with a curling rainbow swish. She looked at the older pony with innocent eyes. "Thanks Rainbow Dash! I didn't ruin anything see?"

"Yes Rarity I see, you did a good job."

"Thanks!" The two hugged. And Rarity grabbed her green helmet and four roller skates, zipping out, and zipped right through a mud puddle that made Rainbow Dash hold her breath. Rarity of course got some mud on herself, but didn't care as she did a double spiral in mid air like her roller-skates were more like ice skates, just barely missing the mandatory fruit cart, Granny Smith, and Spike's late, leaving a dust cloud in her wake.

"Hi big sister!" Rarity waved to Sweetie Belle as she zoomed past, skidding right underneath a pair of ponies carrying a large glass pony without missing a beat and continuing to the Princess Crusader's club house.

Spike's perfectly normal day (IDW Cosmos spoilers)

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Rainbow Dash, "Guys, if Spike ate the stars that contained Cosmos' power... doesn't that mean Spike would now have godlike power to alter reality as he wished?"

Princess Twilight shook her head. "Come on now Rainbow Dash, you know Emperor Spike is a benevolent ruler, he'd never abuse power like that."

"Indeed," Mina nodded. "He treats me and his other wives perfectly well and with respect." Mina blushed. "Now excuse me. I wanna go back to fawning over his perfect form!" Mina sat down next to Emperor Spike's throne, behind the perfect dragoness Rarity. On the other side was Ember with Smolder behind her.

On the throne was Emperor Spike, a towering dragon with a perfect body builder bod.

"I am so lame! I am a total loser!" Jester Grable said, hitting himself in the face with a cream pie, wearing the traditional Fool's Cap and outfit, and bowed.

Spike's wives clapped at Garble performance.

"Yeah, nothin' seems strange 'round here," AJ observed. "Guess eatin' Cosmos' stars didn't effect 'em at all."

"Oh I wish you two could be a little more refined," the dragon Rarity said to Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Emperor Spike glanced at Rarity's words.

"Of course Lady Rarity," the orange and blue dragonesses bowed.

"Even though we'll never be as ladylike as you darling, we try our hardest," Rainbow Dash said with a Isle of Pony accent.

"Thank you for everything you've taught us!" Applejack added.

"Oh I'm just teasing, you two dears are wonderful students," Rarity said at the two perfect lady like dragoness she had taught everything she knew.

Twilight said, “I’m just happy Celestia and Luna gave their power and authority to Spike, now I can just focus on my studies and teaching magic like I always wanted to begin with!... and being with my friends of course!”

Spike turn he head toward her with the same glowing eyes, “what are you talking it about captain?”

“I don’t know my lord?” said the purple dragoness with the royal purple armor with couple of battle scars on her, “ maybe I just tired on my duty that all my lord?”

King Spike then turn he head towards Rainbow and Applejack, “you two, why’d don’t you take captain Dusk Shine and give him something special tonight, okay.”

“Yes my king,” both dragonesses said as they’d went with the now male purple dragon.

Spike's perfectly normal day (IDW Cosmos spoilers) Part 2 of 2

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Nothing suspicious going on at all with Emperor Spike's benign and generous reign over Equestria with his four wives.

Sludge the humble palace janitor cleaning up messes left behind by other dragons.


Observing all this Ponythulu declared, "Always remember with great power comes great fun! And delicious insanity. This can be bakes into some fine cookies.

Dra-gon asked, "Is this the timeline where everybody will eventually become like me?"

Ponythulu responded. "No, no. Soon everyone will be a dragon, not a dra-gon. The timeline you are looking for is two timelines to the left."

"Thanks!" Dra-gon left.


Emperor Spike called a meeting of his friends, "Hey, girls! Guess who else decided to join my harem?"

And Bahamut manifested and caught Spike in a suplex hold ready to crush the life of him if he said the wrong thing.

"NOT! TIAMAT!" Spike croaked out.

"Very well." Bahamut disappeared.

Scootadragon walked out from behind Spike's throne, "Sorry Sweetie, Bloom! Okay, not really that sorry. Guess the dragon thing grew on me after all!"

Spike said, "Spike wants... more female dragons!" He snapped his fingers.

The Ryujin of the Moon, Luna said, "This seems like a conflict of interest. On the other claw, Spike is hotter than sister's most exuberant solar flares..."

Dragoness Limestone exasperated, "Oh, come on!!"

Dragoness Pinkie giggled. "Oooh. This is fine."

Dragon Cheese Sandwich declared defiantly, "No you don't!" And then he stole Pinkie away with his Cheesy Sense powers... uh, somehow?

Dragoness Octavia blinked at seeing Cheese Sandwich slipped in and out between layers of reality. "I suppose those party ponies do have their ways."

Dragoness Vinyl, wearing ruby shades, nodded and flashed a claws-up.


"Spike's gone mad with power!" Shouted somepony in a hidden in a chamber in the palace.

Kibitz Grunted as he loaded armor onto another pony. "Your excellency... Are you sure this is wise?"

Blueblood, Wearing the armor, and with a lance replied, "It's the only way, Kibitz. That scaly tyrant is enslaving the whole realm. Someone has to save it so Auntie Luna and Celestia can reclaim the throne."

Freen flames danced, and the would-be rebels turned into baby dragons.

Blueblood said, "What the..." Then he giggled. "How did these pony clothes get on me?" He plucked a diamond lapel pin off the vest and snacks on it.

Kibitz shouted, "Weeee!" jogging past doing cartwheels. "Today is awesome, and I don't even know why!"

Spike smiled. "Ah, just the drakes I was looking for! I need someone to write all my notes, do chores that I just don't feel like doing myself with my incredible magic powers, and stay home all the time because adventures are just too dangerous for baby dragons!" Spike glanced at you, the reader. "Yeah, I'm a *little* bitter. What, you got a problem with that?" Spike lifted his claws to snap.

Discord teleported in, "Hold it right there, scaly. There's only room for one ONE cosmically-powered egomaniac in this setting!"

Fluttershy The Draconequus of Unpredictable Mother Nature snuggled Discord from behind. "Are you okay dear? You look tense."

Discord thought about it for a moment before saying, "Well, I suppose it could be worse."

Kobolds in Equestria

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In a universe where kobolds existed on Equus, one crawled up to Queen Tiamat.

"My goddess! After hundreds of thousands of years, we have finished the underground labyrinth that covered the entire planet meant to serve as a lair for you!"

Tiamat's heads thought, 'Uh! What?! Wait a minute! I gave them that job busy work! I haven't thought about that since before the dawn of pony civilization! Or that god of theirs, he is most definitely the runt of the litter of my many spawn over eternity.'

"That's excellent work! I know my wife is proud of you!" Bahamut said.

"Uh, yes! Now go forth and... server other dragons!" Her head said.

"Yes my goddess!"

"Bahamut asked, "Were those the guys you shouldn't feed after midnight?"

Tiamat's heads echoed, "We kept them busy for decades, we doubt they had time to eat meanwhile."

"I think those guys NEED to eat to survive."

"We could just eat them all right now to solve this awkward uncertainty."

"We had agreed that eating other people is not always the best solution."

"But it solves most problems!"


Later at the school of friendship.

Starlight said, "Twilight, we have to talk. I remember you said that because it was part of dragon culture we had to let Smolder bring her kobold servants to the school, but they've been -- disruptive."

Twilight asked, "Disruptive how?"

Starlight just Just pointed into a classroom.

Smolder laid back in the throne replacing her chair. Two kobolds rubbing her feet, another fanning her, and three more are bowing before her.

The kobolds declared, "Goddess! Command us!"

Twilight's eyes bulged, "What the -?!? SPIKE! I need you to talk to Smolder."

Spike, carried in on a litter by HIS kobolds said, "Sure thing, Twi. Uh, guys? Two of you go and tell Smolder to dial it back. A little."

Garble grumbled, "Why don't -I- get any servants?"

Smolder said, "You almost did, but when you caught them messing with your hoard -- by which I mean your autographed copy of Jack Kerouac's 'On The Road' -- you incinerated them."

Garble flamed. "NOBODY TOUCHES THE MASTER -- I mean, I have no idea what you're talking about, little sis."

Starlight Glimmer's mind control prank that helped a lot of people

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One day, Starlight Glimmer wondered to herself,
"I wonder what would happen if I used my mind control magic for pranks..." She zapped the school intercom. "Attention all creatures! You will forget this announcement and remember only that you enjoy wearing stylish fancy clothes in public! This order will be cancelled at noon tomorrow!"

"Smolder! Are you in that blue silk dress because of my mind control?"

"Huh? Mind control - I mean, yeah, mind control, that's it! An it's crushed velvet, not silk."

Rarity meanwhile found herself with hordes of creatures at her store, "So many rush orders... no sleep... But worth it!" She recorded everything on a magic holo-crystals.

As a result of this day, Smolder would become Rarity's apprentice, eventually opening a new Carousel Boutique store in the Dragonlands for Princess Lucia (Rarity's Alicorn name).

Of course they needed to find a supplier who could handle materials like silk and velvet in circus tent size lots.

"Thank Celestia I can find gems with my horn, or paying for these lots of fabric would be sending me to the poorhouse." Rarity said to herself, as a tractor trailer was being backed up to her store with the cloth for ONE dragon-size dress.

It also meant learning how to fireproof gemweave cloth, too.

Rarity had started out using her sewing machine and ended up using industrial gear on her dragon commissions.

Torch meanwhile had his own opinion, "Dresses? HAW HAW HAW! Why would a dragoness cover herself up like some PONY, when she could wear real BATTLE ARMOR? That's how you make a dragoness look sexy and ready to kick some major flank! And ready to burn and pillage a countryside or two, right, right?"

Ember looked at the dress from Rarity's new line that Smolder mailed her. "It does look nice and sparkly... wait, no! I'm the Dragon Lord! I can't go thinking like that! ... maybe in a few more years..."

Torch asked "Daughter, what was that you were looking at?"

"AH!" She whipped dress behind her back. "At, uh, more signs of puny pony decadence, Dad."

(Meanwhile back in the Present)

Gallus, wearing a silk vest, crest slicked back said, "I could never wear nice clothes in Griffonstone without them being stolen. Now I can finally express myself!"

Smolder nodded, "I can finally express my feminine side without shame of being seen as weak!"

Yona asked, "Why ponies looking at Yona funny? Yona wearing FORMAL blanket and ribbons!"

Discord popped in because of course he did. "Well, this should be fun." He zapped Yona into an Earth pony.

Sandbar stared, all else forgotten, "Yona I don't know why but you're suddenly very hot right now."

The Pony Yona narrowed her eyes, "And Yona wasn't hot before? Yona should smash!"

Thankfully Cupid flew past... plink! plink!

Pony Yona stroked Sandbar's cheek with a hoof. "Yona will smash later."

'Oh, I'm sure they'll have plenty of smashing, if you know what I mean...' Discord thought.

Gallus grined at Discord. "I'll give you five bits if you turn them both into yaks tomorrow."

Discord evilly grinned, kneading his paw/claw. "Actually, I have a different payment in mind!" He zapped Gallus into a young dragon and teleported him in front of Smolder.





Twilight facehooved, watching giant dragons explode out of the school. "I suppose I should be surprised this didn't happen sooner. Oh well, at least I finally get to try the Time-Reverse Building Rebuilding Ritual!"

Starlight, eating popcorn responded, "You're welcome!"

Ocellus stared at something on the Crystal Friendship Castle's roof, "What's that light, so beautiful."

"WAIT! NO! STAY AWAY FROM THAT! That's from before you were marketable, I mean, we thought only Chrysalis was sentient!"

ZAP! "Ow..."

Twilight sighed, "I guess making those giant anti-Changeling bug zappers wasn't one of my better ideas. At least they didn't go into mass production. Maybe go help Rarity?"


Ocellus asked, "Oh, is this dress not good enough?" Whoosh! "Is it better now?"

Rarity rushed over. "Would you be interested in a part time after-school job, darling?"

And which in a few months lead to...

King Thorax declared, "And a special prize to Miss Rarity Belle, for hiring more Changelings than any other employer in Equestria."

Rarity nodded. "The best models I've ever employed."

A brief look into Starlight Glimmer's classoom

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Starlight Glimmer sitting behind her desk, her students all obediently listening, "And that students is why to bring about a truly equal society, we must enact regular redistribution of wealth, and eliminate private property!"

The Students Six and other all nodded learnedly.

A mob of angry stallions burst in.

"Lock her up!" chanted Fancy Pants.

"The invisible hoof of the market must prevail!" shouted Filthy Rich.

"Andy Ryebread was right!" declared Prince Blueblood.

The other two turned to stare at him, blinking.

Blueblood gulped. "I mean, he was right about economics! Not when he said that the Princesses are only in it for their own power, or that Harmony is a scheme to brainwash ponies into acting against their own self-interest... Look, we can pummel her with my copy of Rockhoof Shrugged!"

Rich and Fancy started nodding. "Ah!" "Yes, quite right..."

"SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION!" Shouted Sandbar in defense of his teacher.

Filthy Rich looked bewildered, "Means of production? You mean, my cutie mark for business? If y'all are planning to seize my flank, my wife might have a thing or two to say about that!"

Princess Twilight Sparkle walked in, her nose in a book, not seeing the chaos, "Hey, Starlight we have a visitor from the Storm Empire, they say they want to enlist your help to destabilize Yakyakistan with your ideas to give them a leg up in their war."

Tomboy Rarity and Tomboy Rainbow Dash 1 dollar commission

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"This is it Rarity! You're the last one!" Gloated a dark blue Alicorn pegasus with shark teeth and a wild rainbow mane. "This is gonna be the end! No more girlie girl junk! No more 'how do you do?' No more tea parties! No more pink! No more frilly dresses! Under my totally awesome guidance, ponykind is gonna gonna be the most totally radical species around!"

Rarity stood defiantly, her head held high, keeping her poise to the bitter end. "If you're going to do it Rainbow Dash, then get on with it, but do not waste a lady's time!"

"Hey! Watch it! It's Nightmare Awesomeness now! I've even got it on all my merch' now!"

"Well darling, I'd say you're the same as you've always been," Rarity said firmly.

"Except,now I've got these super cool laser eyes that makes everybody as awesome as me!"

Rainbow Dash, I mean Nightmare Awesomeness gestured around her. They were on top of Rarity's boutique, the last bastion of feminism in a sea of tomboy-hood! There was Pinkie Pie dressed up a 'pony gangsta' rapping to a swaying crowd with was Octavia playing hard punk rock with a moewhawk mane cut. Twilight Sparkle was throwing out all her boring 'classics' to make room for comic books and action packed penny novellas. Fluttershy was doing an hip 80s exercise routine with her animals in trendy leg warmers. Spike burned his pink frilly apron. Applejack... was pretty much the same.

As a silver lining, Scootaloo had been made Rainbow Dash, er, Nightmare Awesomeness' knight and could fly now.

Rarity still wore the fire ruby necklace that Spike had given her, she touched it firmly.

"I gotta admit Rarity, I saved the best for last. You're gonna be the cherry on top! Turning YOU into a tomboy is gonna be the best!"

"Are you going to do it? Or are you going to talk to me to death first?" Rarity said simply. "I would give my everything for Equestria, my love, my life, myself, what shall you give Rainbow Dash?"

"Oh you're asking for it! Here we go!" She fired her eye lasers, that changed direction in mid-air at sharp angles to hit Rarity dead center. But when it did... Rarity's fire ruby necklace glowed... and then... red light was pulled from every pony and creature present, including Nightmare Awesomeness, pulling into Rarity... she began to glow as a single red outline, the rest of Equestria darkening as the combined coolness, radicalness and awesomeness was absorbed into her.

Then the explosion of pink swept over everything, and there was a blinding white light. As the light died down, Rainbow Dash looked over herself, and found that, indeed, she was no longer Nightmare Awesomeness, she was back to normal levels of totally awesomeness, coolness, and radicalness Rainbow Dash.

Then in midair Rainbow Dash looked around Ponyville... and screamed.

There was Octavia, playing classical on her cello... with Vinyl playing fiddle next to her. Pinkie Pie with her mane done, selling little carefully designed and beautifully made miniature cupcakes.

Twilight was dressed up in a pretty dress, reading a mystery-romance novel, with Spike taking notes, signing them as 'Lord Master Kenbroath Gilspotten Heathspike The Forth.'

To the music of Swan Lake, Fluttershy was leading her animals in a graceful ballet practice. Applejack was sewing the most beautiful of dresses outside Rarity's shop.

And Scootaloo was now wearing a pink ballerina outfit and was dancing in the clouds. She happily waved at Rainbow Dash.

"Noooooo!" Rainbow Dash wailed.

"Like! Dude! Don't worry! Ya ain't alone! Ya still got like the most totally hip pony there is as yer best buddy!"

Rainbow Dash turned back to see Rarity as the most tomboy as tomboy could be unicorn imaginable. With visible muscles, wearing a baseball cap, with torn jeans and shirt. Her hair obviously unkept. Smelling like she hadn't taken a shower in a while. With scars long her body with a couple bandaids. A flaming skull dragon tattoo on her left foreleg. And wearing a spiked collar.

Overwhelmed, Rainbow began to slowly land on the store's roof.

Rarity hugged Rainbow like a vice. "Dude! We're in it together! Two tomboys against the whole wide world! But we're gonna keep it together right bud? No stupid frilly dresses for us! We're totally awesome! Not like then pink fru-frus! ain't that right buddy?"

Rainbow Dash could just dimly nod. She was gonna have to change the name on all her merchandise again.


Umbrum "And This is For!" (Warning! DARK!)

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"This is for Despecho!" The hulking deformed shadow pony slammed it's hoof into a crystal guard, the purple gem pegasus shattered into pieces.

A ruby crystal pony who owned a flower shop ran, the umbrum leapt into the air, and landed hard on her, and jammed its horn into her back, and she shattered to pieces like a glass sculpture. "This is for Soledad!"

The next was a crystal foal who had been trying to hide under a cart.
"This is for Locura!"

Another crystal guard dove in, zig-zagging, keeping his distance, buying time for Cadence to arrive... Instead, the creature that looked like Sombra on steroids and being beaten with the ugly stick snarled. "And this! Is for me!" His red horn light up, followed by red glowing cracks covering his entire body, the crystal guard was causing in the exposition, and was reduced to crystal shards.

Cadence was finally able to break through the barrier.

"How... how did they... why did they..." Cadence didn't understand any of this.

"The Princess of the the Light of Pain wants answers?" Asked a filly's voice. It wasn't Cozy Glow.

"Ira?" Cadence's eyes widened.

Ira's corporal form was now much like Sombra's, shadow gray fur, red horn, green eyes. She was also the size and shape of a filly. Her face was stern and cold.

"I didn't want my brother to be alone, and I wanted to make sure my family knew he'd accomplished his dream. And the portal couldn't squeeze through two adult size corporal Umbrum. Squeezing through for him was worse pain than anything he said, my brother wasn't going to hold together much longer, so he wanted to make every moment count."

"Y-your brother?! That was Sombra!?"

"No! That was Odio! He's was in constant pain for a thousand years! We ruled this land of darkness before you crystal ponies even knew it existed! This unfeeling cold land welcomed us with open arms. Then YOUR wretched light came! And your reeking love magic!

"We weren't able to heal him from the damage the Crystal Heart had done to him at point blank range. That wretched crystal heart, and your light magic that makes us all fugly!

"The only thing that kept him going, was the hope that he'd be able to shatter a crystal pony for every Umbrum they destroyed. My brother didn't give up for a thousand years, he refused to give in or give up, and finally, he's accomplished his dream... as his sister, I'm so proud of him...

"If you want someone to punish, feel free to come after me, but that means opening the portal again, and allowing the Umbrum back into Equestria... and I have a feeling you won't be doing that anytime soon."

Ira began to walk backwards through the portal.

"WAIT! STOP!" Cadence tried to grab her with her telekinesis, but Ira turned to smoke as she slipped through, Cadence tried to cage her with a mass of crystal, but caging darkness is harder than it sounds, and the portal closed. "You can't just... you can't just... walk away..." Cadence said, looking around the square covered in shattered crystal ponies and one obliterated Umbrum.

(What happens with the VILLAINS do the 'and this is for!'?)

Sci-Twi Reacts to Modern World War 2 Shooters

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Rarity said, "Oooh! Look at all the pretty dresses you can get for your female soldiers in this shooter against the 'Not-Nazis'."

Rainbow Dash added, "And all the lasers guns!"

Fluttershy cheered, "And you can play as a Christmas tree!"

Applejack shouted, "Yeeha! Face my Liberty Mecha!"


"GUYS! A LITTLE HELP!" Spike the Dog shouted.


"CLEAR!" Rainbow Dash zapped Twilight Sparkle in the chest.

Fluttershy said, "I've never seen someone suffer four simultaneous heart attacks."

Tomboy Rarity and Tomboy Rainbow Dash 1 dollar commission THE SEQUEL

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"What's this?" Discord said seeing Ponyville now the very definition of female beauty. "Well, I have ... well, sixty seconds before I have to go to the chaos gods convention/family reunion, so I guess I'll have to wait until-"

"No no no!" Rainbow Dash flew up, followed by magically held aloof Rarity... who looked to be acting like the opposite of Rarity, but not in the 'greedy' way, but more in the tomboy way. "Help!"

"Let me guess, you got turned into the Nightmare of Tomboyhood, Rarity sacrificed herself to take in all that tomboyhood into herself to save Equestria, create an unbalance where now everything is girlie girl, and now you want me to fix it for you because you don't want to fess up to Celestia in spite of how my kind of 'help' will just make things worse?"

"Uh... yes?"

"... Remember! You asked for it!" Discord snapped his fingers.

And Ponyville was completely Ponyville again... Except Rarity was still a tomboy.

"Well, you're going to have to now face the trouble of asking ME for help! I'm gonna be late now thanks to you! Toodles!" Discord vanished.

"Like, I wonder where all the girlie girlness went," said Rarity.

Meanwhile... the Dragon Lands... was now covered in colorful flowers and bright green grass and cheerful blue skies... and the dragons were all now kinda plump, and had heads of hair, and were all bright pastel colors, prancing around with flowers in their hair. All feeling the urge to find small human children to make friends with and have whimsy adventures with.

Sometime later...

Spike said, "Okay, Garble and his pals are dancing around braiding flowers in each others' hair and Ember is singing about friendship." He sighed. "Who asked Discord to do this?"

Smolder added, "... Spike, do you realize that you and I are now officially the toughest dragons in the world?"

"... That makes me the most manly dragon in the world! Rarity's sure to go out with me now! Cool."

Sci-Twi Reacts to Modern World War 2 Shooters EPILOGUE

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Twilight with her heart going again and having gone through a doctor's appointment, now at home and having calmed down, adjusted her glasses. "Maybe we should call them Not-zis instead, it sounds slightly more subtle."

Rarity shook her head. "Twilight, darling, this game is dumb as a ton of bricks. It does not do subtle." She did a effectively invisible ninja flap of Fluttershy's hand when she tried to reach for the 'darling' jar.

Applejack said, "At least there are plenty of male soldiers as well so the young colts can learn that they can also kick flank and being awesome is not exclusive to mares."

Everyone looked at her.

"Uh... I mean, MEN and BOYS!"

"How long?" Rarity asked flatly.

Extra-reality Applejack said awkwardly, "Well... Pinkie Pie was doing it, so me and your AJ though we'd try it out."

Rainbow Dash whistled at her planning to do the same with pony RD too.

Pinkie Pie asked, "It is a game, shouldn't it be fun first and foremost?"

Fluttershy said, "But it is loosely based on true events, it should at least acknowledge that war is not fun but a soulcrushing grind that slowly destroys everything that is good within us."

Rainbow Dash made a face. "Who would want to play such a bleak game?"

Fluttershy answered, "A lot of people actually, I could name a few very successful ones. Of course I wouldn't want ALL games to be like them. It is like with movies or books, variety allows everyone to find what they like."

Pinkie Pie asked, "So if somebody wants to fight Not-zis as a Christmas Tree?"

Fluttershy said, "Then this is their game. Fair enough."

By ItsFromPeople with edits by me.

Tomboy Rarity and Tomboy Rainbow Dash 1 dollar commission THE SEQUEL EPILOGUE

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Tiamat looks at the new and cutseyfied Dragonlands. All of her heads sign.

"Well, I am out. Bahamut was right, we need to give our subjects more distance... a LOT of distance."

Discord popped in, and raised his hands to snap his fingers. "Oops! Missed-" All five of Tiamat's heads gave him a death.

"Don't even think about it," they all said together.

"Uh... think about what?" Discord said his eyes suddenly crossed as he teleported away.

Who Was Discord?

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"So Celestia... who was Discord?" Princess Twilight asked, her voice stern and controlled.

"Twilight, what do you mean?" Celestia innocently. "Discord is Discord. He's an ancient force of chaos."

"I couldn't bring myself to ask while you were my princess. Even after we were 'equals' I couldn't bring myself to ask. So now I'm asking, who is Discord? You never asked Fluttershy to redeem Sombra, Chrysalis, Tirek, or Cozy Glow, A FILLY... You only ever asked her to redeem Discord, a creature I thought could never be redeemed anymore than you could redeem a forest fire. Even when Discord betrayed us, you accepted him back with open arms, I'd become friends with him. What about you though? Did you just trust my judgement?

"The only other creature you ever went to those lengths, excuse me, those risks, was Luna when she was Nightmare Moon. You risk Equestria itself to get her back. You even tried to trivialize Nightmare Moon into a candy-eating boogie mare with a holiday. Not to mention the MANY ponies you never bothered to correct and let them think Nightmare Moon was an alien parasite that possessed Luna... You didn't take AS many risks, or go to QUITE as many lengths, but it was far more than you EVER WENT for any OTHER villain, when their talents could have been just as useful to Equestria."

Celestia said nothing.

"I... I admit, for a time I feared he might have been Starswirl The Bearded..." Celestia's eyes bulged at Twilight's words. "But then we met the Pillars, in a way I was relieved. Even if it made no sense for Meadowbrook to be an Earth Pony doctor when she had personally created several magical artifacts... which led me to find she wasn't the first pony to bear that name. ... But your teacher being someone that ruthless, well, (by our standards, I've learned how griffins and dragons deal with their villains), it got me thinking again.

"And it all circled back to Luna, and the risks you went to for her sake. And the only creature you ever took that giant a gamble on again was Discord. The Elements banished Luna, petrified Discord, and their power VAPORIZED Sombra. And don't tell me Sombra was worse, Discord ENJOYED seeing us suffer, he ENJOYED watching friends fight each other, he ENJOYED seeing me broken. Sombra was just a different KIND of evil. And Cozy Glow? We never tried to contact her parents, or even to FIND her parents. You really do take after your mentor Celestia... So I ask again Celestia, WHO, WAS, HE?"

Celestia had said nothing, she merely listened to Twilight's words, offer no resistance or excuses. Silently Celestia got up from her chair, and went off to a drawer, she undid a sealing spell on it, and then took out a key and undid the lock. She took out a chest. She undid a second sealing spell, and undid a second lock. She opened the chest, took the contents, containing magically preserved letters, bits of string, a heart shaped locket, a strip of blue cloth, a strand of blond hair, and a map of a place Twilight didn't recognize. Celestia then pulled out a false bottom of the chest. Celestia took out a photograph, it technologically couldn't have existed over a thousand years ago, and yet it existed all the same.

She showed Twilight the picture. Twilight said nothing.

"No shocked expression? No gasp of surprise? No words of denial or accusation my Princess?" Celestia asked calmly and politely.

"Only confirmation of what I already suspected. I can't blame you in the slightest. If it was Spike, or Shining Armor, I'd have likely made the same risks. Even when it put Equestria itself in danger, I'd still fall short of our ideals and risk so much for one person..." Twilight looked at the photo, showing three young figures on a grassy field, a pink mansion in the background.

"Are you going to tell anypony?"

"For what point? It's over now. And I know that many ponies wouldn't understand, I won't taint your legacy. I just wanted to know for sure. Because I needed confirmation, that if things went that way, I'd likely made that choice too... I wonder... would Sunset be able to do what needs to be done if I go mad with power, and my friends can't save me? ... Hopefully we'll never know, because I trust my friends WOULD BE able to save me from myself."

"That's what makes you better than me my Princess, you were able to save those you love. Four times over, I couldn't."

~ Fin

Birthday Present To Wolfram-And-Hart

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"During the celebration at the end of MLP the movie, Derpy gets some recognition for taking the obsidian orb for Twilight."

Derpy Hooves stood surrounded on all sides by the Alicorn princesses, who had reigned before Derpy had been born, and would reign long after it. Derpy felt small.

"Derpy Hooves, also known as Ditzy Doo, also known as Muffin," Princess Twilight said formally. "In recognition of saving Equestria's only still functional princess, at the cost of being petrified by an unknown weapon, we present you with this!"

It was a medal, like the ones Trixie, Thorax, Starlight, and Discord had all been given in honor of them saving Equestria from the changelings.

Princess Twilight smiled. She placed the medal around Derpy's neck. "Congratulations, Derpy!"

"Yay!" Derpy cheered.

"And here is your real reward, this giant muffin!" Twilight gestured to a muffin the size of a house.



"Uh, shall we wake her up?" Princess Twilight asked, Derpy having fainted on her hooves after being given the medal.

Princess Luna's horn was glowing. "No, she's quiet enjoying herelf."

Brave Fluttershy (Yangiscool request)

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Exiting the rollercoaster, leading Fluttershy by the hoof, Rainbow Dah took them to a nearby bench.

Rainbow Dash smiled. "Okay Fluttershy, take it from the top."

Fluttershy stood proud. "Ahem, my shadow is not going to eat me. Everyone who lays eyes on me is not silently judging me. I am not at flight camp anymore. Nightmare Night is about experiencing the edge of pony existence, not about being in actual danger. And dragons... okay, I am completely justified in being wary of something that can eat me in one gulp or turn me to ashes by breathing on me. But I have accepted I should judge each dragon as I meet them, not seeing all adult dragons as fearsome. And the Wonderbolts Thunder Ride is awesome!"

Rainbow Dash then showed Fluttershy pictures of a crowd of ponies looking at the camera, an adult dragon roaring and breathing fire with claws bared, and a scary nightmare night haunted house, and Fluttershy's own shadow... and Fluttershy did NOT break out in a cold sweat.

"Congratulations Fluttershy! You're official as brave as me!"

"Thanks, those 'new and improved' Iron Will sessions really work."

Discord teleported in on the pair.

"Awww!" Discord waved a giant hypno-wheel on a stick. "And I had the hypnosis ready for a wacky adventure where Fluttershy became TOO brave, and you all raced to restore her to, blech, 'normal' , and Fluttershy would learn about doing things the boring, hard, un-fun way, and Twilight would lecture me and I'd say I was sorry and never do it again (as if the spirit of chaos would ever repeat himself!)... Wait, did I say that out loud?" The ponies gave him a death glare. "Oops."

Toilet Sparkle (Mtangalion request)

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Nightmare Moon stopped. "Wait... the dripping... it's stopped...it's FINALLY stopped!" Nightmare Moon burst out laughing. "It's stopped! Finally! Yes yes yes yes! That horribly annoying noise is gone!" Nightmare Moon giggled and rolled about on the floor, exploding in a mass of dispelling darkness leaving only Princess Luna. "Who has done this!? Who is the savior of Princess Luna?!"

"OH! That would be me!" Said a purple unicorn with a plunger for a cutie mark. "I'm Toilet Sparkle, janitor of Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns...I checked out the Castle of Two Sisters, and was surprised to find a working plumbing system left over from the Age Of Wonders..."

"You fixed my leaky facet from our royal water closet!?" Princess Luna asked eagerly, the crowd of ponies in confusion and bewilderment.

"Sure looks that way," Toilet Sparkle shrugged.


"Just doin' my job! Plumbing is magic!"


"And you said there couldn't possibly be a universe where you're a plumber!" Starlight said with grin looking through the magic mirror.

Twilight grumbled and gave Starlight the five bits. "Still boring if you ask me. No personal growth for anypony, no forming bonds through ordeals, no Luna being turned into a filly to reexamine herself for a year... Not very satisfying if you ask me."

Starlight shrugged. "Well, I doubt they'll complain."

"Only because they don't know what they missed."

"Like your friends in Canterlot not knowing they could have been immortal goddesses and saviors of Ponykind if they'd been with you on that trip to Ponyville?"

Twilight broke out in a cold sweat. "Uh.. perhaps some things are better left unknown!"


Discord The Hero (sonicandmario826 request)

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Several sharks shaped alien warships surrounded Equus, like a school of literal sharks descending on their prey.

Under the assumption that the natives MUST HAVE invented radio or television by now (that was just the natural progression of civilian after all, like live sacrifices of your enemies) Grand Supreme Absolute Death-Slayer Individual Reason Doctor Vlick shouted into the microphone his slave handed him.

"ATTENTION NATIVES OF EQUUS! You are now under the protection of the Death-Slayer Fleet of Reason, Sanity, and Individuality! DSFRSI will provide your aimless civilization with proper direction and stability that has been missing from your lives! And we will fix your abominable and impossible geocentric solar system! If you ignorantly and prejudicially reject our generous offer, we will have to protect the universe from your incorporative attitude by scorching your planet. Please provide your answer in the next sixty-seconds!"

After thirty seconds Grand Supreme Absolute Death-Slayer Individual Reason Doctor Vlick wondered if he should scorch the planet right now, it was getting close to lunch time.

A freak of nature made up of several different creature appeared before the fleet, it was the size of several of their warships. There was no atmosphere in space, therefore, the booming voice they heard as it moved its mouth must have been telepathic!

"Hello! Discord! Spirit of Chaos for this universe! I'm afraid I have some dear friends of mine on this planet! So I'm going to have to ask you to move along! In fact! Why don't I give you a hand?"

"DESTROY THAT GIANT ROBOT!" Grand Supreme Absolute Death-Slayer Individual Reason Doctor Vlick declared, since that was obviously what it must have been.

Death rays capable of wiping out entire land masses blasted the abomination from every direction.

"Oh oh oh oh oh oooooh... that tickles! My turn!" Discord snap his fingers.

The space fleet turned into literal space sharks, who scurried away from the spirit of chaos, their crew clinging for dear life. Grand Supreme Absolute Death-Slayer Individual Reason Doctor Vlick inked his pants as he wailed.


"Taken care of?" Celestia asked.

"Taken care of," Discord said simply.

"Twilight's going to be curious about that 'meteor shower,'" Luna said not looking up from her book. Luna causally nudged celestial bodies across the galaxy on the board in front of her.

"Oh she'll come up with her own explanation, ponies always do," Discord shrugged.

"See Luna? I knew trusting Discord... for a third time wasn't going to backfire."

"Says you Celly, I actually enjoy fighting off the alien marauding hordes."

Discord crossed his arms. "You're welcome! You can handle the next assimilating hive-mind that comes by then!"

"My pleasure."


Pony Ride (Aura-Immortal request)

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The first thing Apple Bloom of Canterlot Middle School wondered when crossing over was where her overalls had gotten to. Then covering her four legged furry body and screaming bloody murder.

Then she was surrounded by horse, excuse me, pony versions of her big sister and high school graduating class.

PRINCESS Twilight Sparkle (the one who visited their world and defeated Biggest Meanie Three Years Running Sunset Shimmer, and then defeated the sirens, almost kissed Flash Sentry... and then simply stopped visiting for no apparent reason), had lifted her up with magic saying, "Okay Apple Bloom, back through you go!"

Before she could be tossed through the stomach churning portal between universes again, Apple Bloom shouted, "WAIT! It's mah destiny to be here!" And then explaining, "When ya were fightin' that latest person who acted like a total evil jerk but was really just misunderstood, I got hit in the head with some magic stuff, and this big giant cosmic apple told me it was my destiny to unit 'Cutie Mark Crusaders' across the multiverse... and I got a magic tattoo on my butt!"

Then the big girls all shared in some cider.

(Normally Human) Apple Bloom then explained, "Ah told mah family Ah was goin' on a camin' trip with mah friends, so they ain't worried!"

Then the adults begrudgingly took her to Sweet Apple Acres so she could meet the local instance of the CMC.

"Canterlot Movie Club? REALLY?" Scootalooo asked. "We tried a hundred thousand things when searching for our purpose in life, from yoga to ripping holes in time and space-"

"So that wasn't a dream!"

"-And you name your group a MOVIE CLUB?!"

"Well... we kinda had to decide on a concrete name or the school wouldn't legally recognize us as a club..."

The local CMC looked at each other.

Pony Sweetie Belle said, "Good thing then we figured out our talents for design, repair, construction, alchemy, dancing, stunt riding, singing, and composing were all false leads and had nothing to do with what we're supposed to do with our lives then."

The others nodded.

Now that the embarrassment and melodrama had all settled down, (normally human) Apple Bloom could appreciate the world around her. And meeting her alternate self that again proved that poking yourself from another reality would not cause the universe to explode.

Apple Bloom looked at all the cute ponies... going about their cute little days in their cute little houses in their cute little hats that somehow looked a heck of a lot cuter than when her Applejack wore Pa's old hat.

Before blood could be spilled over the Apple Bloom's debating over who wore Ma's ribbon cuter, Apple Bloom thought of all the times her Applejack had given her piggy back rides, only to finally tell Apple Bloom she was too old for that sort of thing.

Away from the judging eyes of her society and peers, Apple Bloom inched to the ironically named orange palomino.

"Excuse me, uh, Applejack? Could you... uh, maybe, that is... I know it's always busy but, could ya for just a minute... give me a pony ride?"

Applejack stared for a minute... she'd always loved giving Apple Bloom rides, until Apple Bloom declared she was too old for them.


"WHEEEEEEE!" Apple Bloom atop the pretty pony!


Minty Pony Best Friend (Wolfram-And-Hart request)

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It was the ninth Hearth Warming Eve since Princess Twilight Sparkle had moved to Ponyville (and would move back to Canterlot over her dead body).

And the Pies and the Apples had chosen to celebrate together, hoping to find a balancing act to both their traditions.

And speaking of which, thanks to the Divine Might of the Pairing Stone that would not be challenged, Big Mac was now married to three mares.

But this was not the main event of the evening. Instead, a mare trotted in as if she'd be welcomed with open forelegs unchallenged. She was an Earth pony, had green fur, pink mane, and three peppermints as her cutie mark.

Before visiting Twilight Sparkle could ask who she was, Pinkie Pie shouted, "MINTY!"


The two mare immediately warmly nuzzled each other. Cheese Sandwich's smile admirably didn't twitch.

"Happy Hearth Warming Eve Pinks!"

"You too Mints!"

"Uh, Pinkie Pie... who this is?" Applejack asked.

"Oh you know Applejack! This is Minty! She's my oldest friend!"

"I've known Pinkie since forever!" Minty nodded.

"Weren't you at the ice cream museum opening?" Twilight asked.

Minty nodded. "That's me!" She help up a collection of green patterned socks and pinkie mint candy canes. "And I brought enough Christmas presents for everybody!"

"Shh! Minty! It's Hearths Warming Eve!" Pinkie Pie whispered.

"Huh? Oh right!" Minty said loudly, "I mean Hearth Warming Eve!"

Twilight thought for a moment, "Isn't that what Sunset said the holiday was called in her-"

"Now hold on cousin!" Applejack said unironically. "All the time we've hung out, and all the time Ah've visited, Ah've never seen so much as a photo of her, nor have ya spoken 'bout her once!"

Pinkie Pie then said simply, "You mean like how you ever told us about Rara before she showed up in Ponyville?"

"Uhhhhhh," Applejack looked unsure and embarrassed.

"Or how Twilight never once mentioned ger big brother for two years before she introduced us to him? And he wasn't even at the Gala?"

"That's..." Twilight tried to think of a reasonable answer to that.

"Or how you said that you had no friends in Canterlot after defeating Nightmare Moon in spite of having Moon Dancer, Lyra, Lemon Hearts, Twinkle Shine, and Minuette?"

Twilight shrank away. "That one... I was being an jackass."

"HEY!" Shouted an angry donkey passing by the window.

"Sorry Mr. Yankee."

"Or the CMC talking about how they were the only Blank Flanks in town in spite of Featherweight not having his cutie mark?"

"Maybe we were being kinda self centered?" Apple Bloom offered meekly.

"And you didn't mention me to any of your friends before I visited," Maud Pie said calmly.

"SHHHH!" Pinkie Pie shushed. "I didn't mention any of my sisters by name, so therefore, I didn't fail to mention you in particular."

"Logical," Maud Pie said simply.

"So... would anybody like some candy?" Minty offered.

Everypony was quick to take some and put everything Pinkie Pie had just mentioned out of their heads.

"So do you have the cookies and milk out for Santa?" Minty asked.

"Now hold on a minute-" Twilight began to say before Pinkie Pie interrupted.

"Minty, remember what we talked about."

"Oh right, sorry," Minty whispered.

"Did you bring enough socks for everypony?"

"Oh Pinkie Pie, you know you can bring too many socks!"

Pinkie later looked with satisfaction though a photo album showing Minty and Pinkie as fillies playing together that had most definitely been there before, and hadn't been retconned into existence, no sirree! Mint candy?


Rainbow Snow Surprise (DianaGohan Request)

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Rainbow Dash trotted out of her house, smiling up at the sun. "Ah, what a beautiful day, the kind where nothing can go wrong." Rainbow Dash really should have known better than to say those words. Even Twilight Sparkle would tell you they were right up there with 'at least things can't get any worse.'

Rainbow Dash in blissful ignorant flew from her cloud house... and flew straight into a snow bank.

"HEY! What's the deal?! There was no snow scheduled for today and I scheduled to do stuff outside today!" Ponyville was completely covered in snow.

"Sorry!" Clear Skies the purple pegasus mare said. "Emergency orders from up top! Apparently Ponyville was behind in its quota of snow from last year!"

Rainbow snorted. "I'm still Captain of the Weather Team and all that goes through me!"

"It did, you kinda flew in from Wonderbolt training, rubber stamped it, and flew out to that Friendship School of yours and then flew to take care of Tank... We're kinda taking bets on how long it'll take for you to have a heart-attack."

"What happened to Ponyville, the town so nice Canterlot thinks we're crazy?!"

"We are nice, that's why we're all carrying a first response kit for when it happens since we know you'd sooner chew your own wings off before giving up an obligation!" Clear Skies said with a smile.

"Ugh! Whose bright idea was this!?"

"The paperwork was signed by a Miss Delayed Karma... It was P.S.'ed with a 'hugs and kisses from the Weather Factory repair crew who had to give up their Hearth Warming Eve vacations' for some reason..."


"Cutie Mark Crusader Snow Troopers!" The CMC cheered fighting in snowy trench warfare with Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Babs.

"Oh don't worry Rainbow Dash!" Rarity called with a smile. "I could use a model for my pegasi winter line!"

"Get Fluttershy!"

"Busy with her animals I'm afraid... And besides, I've got this dress I know you'll look perfect in!"

"When I get my hooves on the pony who ordered this winter day!" Rainbow grumbled.

Clear Skies said helpfully, "Oh Karma isn't a pony, she's a diamond dog."

~ Fin

Sweetheart and the Skunk, Drabble Prize for Godzillawolf

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"A filly Sweetheart helps a trapped skunk even after it sprays her."

"That girl Bright Eyes was right!" Sweetheart said happily skipping along the trail. "This nature walk really is nice! ... Too bad Teddy didn't wanna come." He had started hang out with that popular colt Ace.

Sweetheart's parents trusted her to not go off the path, Sweetheart was a good filly after all. And they'd be right... except, Sweetheart did have one weakness.

"Oh my!" Sweetheart spotted a black and white creature trying to pull free of a fallen branch. What it a raccoon? A kitty? Bright Eyes would know, she was the smart one after all.

But Bright Eyes wasn't here. So Sweetheart ducked under the little yellow rope that marked the nature path. Sweetheart knew enough about animals to see the poor thing wasn't terribly hurt, just trapped... It was... actually a good thing the animal hadn't chewed its own leg off yet to get away. It must have been only recently.

Sweetheart approached the struggling animal slowly. Now as a teenage filly Sweetheart would know that a trap animal was trouble and handled carefully. Sweetheart wasn't a teenager yet. And then the kitty lifted their tail... and Sweetheart's eyes watered, she coughed, she couldn't breath. She backed off. She wanted to run back to mama! ... But the poor animal would still be trapped.

Sweetheart held her breath, closed her eyes, grabbed the branch that was pinning down the animal, and with Earth pony strength she pulled the tree limb away. The animal ran away without looking back.

Sweetheart smiled all the same. Happy the poor creature was at least free. ... She hurried back to her parents, needing a bath. She'd be scolded for leaving the path, and getting near a trapped animal, and she said she was sorry, like a good filly. But she did not regretting helping the animal, and Bright Eyes said she was nice for helping the skunk (that is what it was). Sweetheart was a kind filly too after all.


Micro Drabble Montage! Open Up and Find the fun inside! (Sincere mode.)

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These are quickies that were too short to really qualify as their 'chapter' for the drabbles of varying quality. So here we go.


Twilight Sparkle lectured on her podium, "So, when something strange is going on-"

Her students replied, "Blame Discord!"

"And if it isn't Discord?"

"Blame Twilight Sparkle!"

"Yes, wait-HEY!"

"And if it isn't her, try Starlight Glimmer."

"Now just a minute!"

"And it isn't her, it's likely Trixie."

"Trixie does not-"

"And it isn't her, try the CMC."

"We don't do that stuff anymore!!!!" Apple Bloom protested.

Spike rubbed his claws together, "Heh heh, they'll never see me coming!"

<b> Lot of Shouting and debating later</b>

"After some reconfigurations the new list is if something strange is going on, blame Discord, then, sigh, Twilight Sparkle, then Starlight Glimmer, then Spike, then Rainbow Dash, then Pinkie Pie, then Fluttershy, then Rarity, then Applejack, then Luna, then Princess Celestia, then the CMC, then the Student six, and then finally Trixie."

"Hey the great and powerful Trixie resents being on the bottom of any list."

"Even list of people not to blame Trix?"

"Either do not blame Trixie or always blame Trixie... but you know the blaming for only good stuff with perhaps rewards attached!"

Zecora smiled, "I am all but bioluminescent, I am completely innocent!"

Flim sitting on the lecture said, "Operation Under the Radar is a complete success!"

Flam added, "What's a radar, you're probably wondering?"

Then said together, "We're so glad you asked!"

Applejack sighed, "They're gonna sell some piece o' junk ta the town again, ain't they?"

Twilight nodded, "Looks that way."

Applejack rolled her eyes, "Ah love ma town, but sometimes these here ponies are all idiots."

FLUTTERSHY sighsed too. "I also feel the same appreciation for Ponyville but sometimes the ponies also can act rather rude and unpleasent for no considerably fair reason."

TWILIGHT added, "But hey 90% of the time they're pretty good."

Pinkie Pie nodded, "Yeah especially when we're doing a song number."

Rainbow Dash observed, "Huh, next is a random monster from Everfree... I'm kinda impressed that Pinkie isn't on that list at all."

Pinkie Pie smiled. "Not me silly, I MADE THE LIST."

Alex Warlorn


"Yaks say Griffin cooking perfect, PERFECT-LY HORRIBLE!"

Gilda said, "I... I can't quiet argue that."

Ironically because it was perfect, they didn’t smash it. That and it left them too sick to move.

Gabby offered, "Are you sure about that? Try Queen Gilda's new Griffon Scones, WITH baking power!"

Gilda corrected, "Powder."

Gabby said quickly, "Close enough!"

"Yaks like strong Griffins that eat horrible food. Takes real strength to beat food. So Griffins strong."

Alex Warlorn


Havoc, father of all Draconequus asked, "What Did You Do Pandora?"

"Oh, I just sent Starlight The First, and her entire research team, a vision of what would happen if they enacted the wish spell the way they have it set up. Now that they know the risks, they'll be able to alter their Wish Spell so the world that's created from their combined wishes won't result in it imploding on themselves and their new selves won't be shallow and one-note!"

Havoc said, "You Created A New Timeline..."

Pandora smiled. "I will buy Rota Fortuna a really great meal to make up for the additional work."

Alex Warlorn

(Author's note: I am so sorry Oracle Mask.)


Another Equestria 1000 Plus Years Ago Because Who Needs Chronological Consistency?

Little Princess Celly cried out in the creepy dark forest, "I want my mommy!"

Littler Princess Lulu added, "I want your mommy!"

"She's your mommy too!"

"Then I want our mommy!"

Two merchant ponies traveling through the dark forest to avoid having to pay the trade tariffs spotted the pair.

"Oh brother of mine, what do you see?"

"I see two little fillies all alone in the dark."

"Two little siblings alone in the dark."

"Ah, I see."

"Two little siblings alone in the dark with horns AND wings!"

"... A rare find indeed, we should aid them I suppose."

"I suppose too my dear brother! Hello little ones, I am Flim, and this my brother Flam, you are clearly not alright, so how may we aid you?"

"The Smooze got our parents!"

"... Oh dear."

"Uh, perhaps you could come with us, and maybe help a little?"

"Uh... okay," said Celly.


The Same Equestria A Thousand Plus Years Later...

"Sister of mine!" Said Princess Celestia, "I have splendid idea!"

"Don't hold me in suspense sister of mine!"

Princess Celestia gestured to a mirror.

"Behold! The multiverse! The ultimate solution to any logistic woes Equestria might ever have! Infinite Equus' and infinite Equestria's... and countless Celestias and Lunas with the same hoof stamp as us..."

"Ooooooh, I like how you think sister of mine!"


(A) Equestria Prime

Twilight Sparkle shouted, "Princess Celesstia! About all the building projects you did not commission but apparently did, and then vanished after being completed! I checked! No changeling magic was involved! ... It's... it's portals!"

Princess Celestia sighed, "I can guess what's going on now... "


"PRINCESS CELESTIA!" (A) Celestia Prime boomed into another Princess Celestia's throne room (Celestia noticed there was a small fee for everything just from a glance!). "You and I are in for a long talk!"

<b>Five Minutes Later</b>

"Thank you for signing this absurdly high subsidy to our Equestria!" Another Princess Celestia said with a smile.

(A) Celestia Prime blinked as she realized what she'd just done. "What just happened?"

Alex Warlorn


Rainbow Dash exclaimed,, "What am I gonna do?! I chopped the head off that Gorgon and this flew out of its neck and won't stop following me!"

Scootaloo hugged Rainbow Dash. "MOMMY!"

"Wait, where the second one?" Rarity questioned, "The one named Chrysoar?"

Scootaloo said, "Actually that Gorgon had just eaten me and it is the honored tradition of my tribe to accept those who safe us from mortal danger as additional parents. In short: MOMMY!"

Thankfully after that first Pegasus, they discovered they were able to reproduce the old-fashioned way. It saved a lot of wear and tear on the local Gorgon population.

Alex Warlorn


Alex Warlorn

The RPG Hero on the game screen said, "Hark! We have destroyed the Pairing Stone! And have liberated pony kind from its evil! Truly this is a great day!"

Pinkie Pie exasperated, "What the frosted Gumdrops!? The Pairing Stone doesn't oppress anypony! This is taking bits and pieces of my family's beliefs and twisting them around. Foals who have never met a Maresonite are going to think this is what we actually believe!"

Twilight Sparkle said patronizing, "Don't be so upset Pinkie Pie, it's just a game."

Button Mash asked innocently, "What's it like being enslaved to an evil rock?"

Pinkie Pie's limbs twisted about the wrong way.

A bit later, Pinkie Pie had Spike send some dragon mail,

"Aheam, Dear, Digital-Role-Mare-Adventure. I'd like to be a top tier donator to your next game."


"The Librarians are coming! The Librarians are coming!" Said the innocent NPC as she felt from the generic evil army.

"Attack!" Said one of the Librarians at the innocent city the hero lived in, throwing heavy books at the hapless populace.

Twilight Sparkle snarled, "THIS IS SLANDER! Don't they have any respect for the hard work these ponies do? This isn't even what librarians even do! They just took a random profession and assigned some superficial similarities to it!"

Pinkie Pie said cooly, with a slight Rainbow Dash like tone, "What's the matter Twilight? It's just a game?"

"What matters is that some innocent foal who's never been to a library is going to think this is what librarians actually do, and aren't going to bother to learn the truth and have their view distorted by this and... and.... oh." Twilight deflated.

Pinkie Pie said, "If it makes you feel better, this version was custom made for my super-ultra-tier donation."


Discord cheered. "Twilight, this is a great idea! I could order a game showing me as a victim of circumstances that only wants to bring fun, joy, chocolate and COMPLETE AND UTTER CHAOS to the entire world."

A pony actually named Circumstances walks by.

Circumstances rolled his eyes. "Sure, blame it on me as well. I am used to that."

Discord said quickly, "No, this might be a friend of Fluttershy or her friends. Maybe it should blame my parents."

The border between existence and non-existence briefly opens.

Entropy (Discord's mother) called, "MAYBE YOU WANT TO EXIST."

Discord said quickly, "Point taken, I could blame fate."

Rota Fortuna: "Get in line, it is a very LONG line."

A very bored Alicorn checking out the newest games about fighting gods said.

Discord: "Naw, too obvious. I can still say that the devil made me do it."

Morning Star snorted, "Oh, please! Give it a try!"

Discord asked, "What you are doing here? Trying out some of those games?"

Morning Star stated cooly, "No, actually I am here to collect my proportion for the use of demons and devils. I did copyright their name, likeness and pretty much everything else. The payment can be done in money or SOULS."

Discord asked, "So I have to pay you if I blame you for some of my less funny deeds?"

Morning Star shrugged. "Pretty much or you could just be honest with yourself and accept what you have done as the result of your own actions."

Discord laughed. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Good one, teacher! I think I'll blame country music, who would ever defend that?"

Applejack said, "Cough! Cough!"

Discord asked, "AJ, are you sick? You just said your sound effects out loud."


Princess Twilight declared,, "You made a game where a dragon character burns and smashes pony towns, growing bigger the more loot they get? We're trying to encourage dragons to NOT do that!"

Smolder, much larger, her dorm room overflowing with bits said, "Don't worry, we didn't sell any copies to *Dragonlands* dragons. Computers and phones don't even last a week over there... Of course Gar-Gar and I have been telling all the dragons about it. So now a lot of them want to move to Equestria; you like that, don't you?"

Princess Twilight thought, "Hmm, I think I'll just take a page from Pinkie's book and make a little donation of my own."

<i>A few weeks later</i>

Princess Twilight said, "Okay, Smolder, how do you like the new 'Dragon Hero' game where dragons can only get stronger by helping ponies and giving up their hoards?"

Garble looked at the line of ponies waiting to buy the new game. "Thanks, we hate it."

Smolder admonished, "Gar-Gar, be nice."

Garble hissed, "That *was* nice. "

Prince Rutherford declared, "Yaks want to make vee-dee-oh game too!"

Gallus said,, "Too slow. While you guys were talking, we released three more mobile phone games, and they're absolutely free withjustafewteensyinapppurchasescough."

Princess Twilight gasped, "Gallus! That's so greedy of you griffons."

Gallus shrugged, "Yeah, and what's your point? Have you seen what all the extra little add-ons cost for these pony games?"

Smolder said, "He's kind of got you there, Miss Twilight. Just thinking about how many bits are coming from them makes dragons start greed growth."

Spike said "Yeesh, who could be greedy enough to --" He and Twi broke off and looked at each other.

Flim and Flam inside their new deluxe luxury office, literally swimming in bits sang to each other, "Brother dear, one more success like this and we can probably buy our own country. A good one two, not some dump like Griffonstone or Yakyakistan!"

Gilda, "How dare you insult... what am I saying that's a fair deal."


Flim and Flam sang, "Yeah. A perfect wasteland! You yaks need to bring in something for the tourist trade. Like some casinos, and in fact we know of one very interested in expansion right now..."


"When do you unicorns die of old age?"

"Around the heat death of the universe."

Prince Blueblood said, "Outliving the planet? Ho ho, it's good that you're concerned for us, friend, but worry not! We unicorns can cast Create New Planet and just, well... pop on over! It's a very simple spell. Now, while it can be dreadfully dull waiting for plant life to establish itself and oxygenate the atmosphere, we have many such projects ongoing. What's more, there's a simply splendid new world over in the Horsehead Nebula that's just about ready for settlement, any century now!"

Applejack narrowed her yees, "When were ya gonna tell the rest of us 'bout this?"

Blueblood said awkwardly, "We were planning on keeping it quiet until after the sun expanded, but you know now, don't you?"

Twilight giggled nervously, "Well, it's not like it's a huge secret, or anything crazy like that! We just... forgot to mention it?"

Applejack asked simply, "Do any of th' other races in Equestria have ta deal with this?"


Ember asked, "Wait, wait, you're telling me that dragons live <i>that</i> long?"


Blueblood said elegantly "Well I had a big presentation ready for the Grand Galloping Gala but that event ended in a complete mess and a stampede of animals did trample the presentation. Then Discord happened, the Changeling Invasion, the trouble in the north and that endless parade of villains we had lately."


Applejack was bewildered, "Whut? Ya mean ta tell me that unicorns are gonna outlive us all?"

Rarity said simply, "Try not be be jealous, dear. Why, my parents can remember the Great Migration to escape the Windigos!"

Twilight added, "My mother still tells me stories about Paradise Estate and Megan from over 12,000 years ago."

Rainbow Dash blinked, "Like, old Pony tales or her own memories?"

Twilight said simply, "Yes."


Fancypants said, "Positively charming! I haven't seen such a regal design since the time of High King Resplendence 4,000 years ago!"

Fluttershy blinked. "Oh, my! I didn't know Ponies were so... tacky even back then."

Fancypants replied politely, "Oh believe me, Lady Fluttershy, this is tame by comparison. Wait until you see the ceremonial gown Resplendence's consort Queen Radiance - an old friend of mine - gifted to me for my 1,825 birthday!"


"Wait... you all actually FELL for that?! HAHA!" Starlight burst out laughing.

"Uh," AJ asked. "Are you saying that now to throw us off the trail?"

"Maybe, maybe not."

Alex Warlorn


The REAL Grogar, "Time to try our new weapon."


A robot Pony trotted up to Fluttershy.

"Hello Pony."

"Oh hello! Nice day we're having isn't it?"

"What if I don't think it's a nice day? What right do you have to impose your views and opinions on others? You should be ashamed of yourself. I am very disappointed in you. You are a big meanie."

Fluttershy burst into tears.

Angel got ready to give the robot pony a piece of his mind and get Fluttershy back on her hooves!

Then the robot pony pushed a button on itself... and blew itself up.

Angel was left stunned, and not from the kaboom, unsure of how to help Fluttershy now.


Rainbow Dash sat on a cloud reading, "This new 'True Side to Daring Do' is horrible! At least AK Yearling's newest book is fun."

A Bully Bot said, "All my friends loved the new 'True Side To Daring Do' and they all hated AK Yearling's newest book. You should keep your mouth shut and never share your opinions with anyone since you are obviously a freak."

Rainbow Dash, "HEY! I'm not-"

The Bully Bot blew itself up. "Wha... that's not fair!"


Rarity in her shop greeted the bully bot, "Why hello there, would you like a custom dress?"

The Bully Bot said, "If you really loved your parents, you would have grinned and endured it and become their little sports player, instead of selfishly pursuing your own wants and desires. You are so selfish."

Rarity burst out crying. Spike kicked the door open and got ready to give the bot a good talking to!

The Bully Bot then blew itself up.

Spike ... was left aimless.


Starlight shouted, "TWILIGHT! It's horrible! These robots are bullying everypony, AND THEN BLOWING THEMSELVES UP! Leaving everypony without an 'other' to project their insecurities onto and nobody to humiliate, I mean overcome and actually having to WORK THROUGH their problems!"

Too late, Twilight was sobbing.

Starlight shook her head. "Why couldn't I have been this good at breaking ponies when I was trying to liberate, I mean conquer the world and being utterly evil?"

A Bully Bot said, "Because you weren't 'utterly evil' you were misguided, self-righteous, emotionally hurt, and utterly convinced you were saving everypony from being enslaved by their cutie marks. Calling yourself 'utterly evil' is just an excuse you created to distance yourself so you can pretend none of your other good intentions can back fire."

The Bully Bot blew itself up. Starlight began sobbing.


Bray asked, "But Master, won't YOU serve as the 'other' for the ponies to overcome and get catharsis?"

Grogar said, "Actually the bully bots were conceived, designed, and created by a swarm of Gizmonks who were kept ignorant of each other, none of them knowing what the final design or purpose of them would be, and they were built on an assembly line. So it could be said the idea simply evolved on its own without anyone's singular intent. So none of us are really 'to blame' for the Bully Bots. The ponies are doomed. We've won. There's no way for them to get past their problems without a villain for them to outwardly focus on. By the time the Bully Bots are done, they'll be begging for Tambelon to rule Equestria!"


A Bully Bot said, "And in spite of being the god of chaos you're the one who never changes, you're the same selfish bully you've always been." It blew itself up.

Discord began crying.

A Bully Bot said, "And you're a failure, a fraud, a liar, a coward, an idiot, a weakling, daddy never loved you or your mother, you have an ego the size of the sun and the ability below that of the sub-atomic, a 1-D thinking arrogant little creature that nobody likes." The Bully bot blew itself up.

Trixie asked, "Was that supposed to be special for Trixie? BEING HUMILIATED AND HURT BY THOSE I CAN NEVER GET BACK AT <b>IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE!!!!"</b>

Twilight pleaded, "Trixie, I have checked and double checked everything. You are the only person who can save Equestria! Teach us how to handle taking humilation, not being able to retaliate and still love ourselves."

Trixie grabbed a memory recording crystal. "Can you say that again Twilight?"


“You’re poetry is stupid and you only used your insecurities to justify you bullying Spike.”

Garble snapped,, “Oh, yeah well-“ then the robot blew up before he could finished.

Garble looked at the smoking crater quiet for a bit, “.....HA!!!! My come back must have been so good it blew up from its awesomeness before I even said it!”Garbled cheered proud of himself.


“Uh, master...?”

“It apparently doesn’t work on the stupid.”


Alex Warlorn


Princess Twilight Sparkle said proudly, "And so we defeated the villains, and had nothing to worry about except the occasion mean spirited loser after that."

"Wait... you redeemed Discord, who corrupted and tormented ponies FOR FUN... after you welcomed him back with open arms after he then betrayed Equestria. ... And you write off Cozy Glow, Sombra, Tirek, and Chrysalis as unredeemable... When if it had been the real Grogar and he had betrayed them, you'd have instantly welcomed them in. And you don't even TRY to have Fluttershy reform ponies like Flim and Flam and Lightning Dust, when it was shown she can redeem normal ponies too... "

Princess Twilight Sparkle sputtered, "I, er, uh,, that is, FATAL ERROR!"


Scootaloo sighed looking away from the screen, "Apple Bloom, I don't think these simulations of the future are really working."

Alex Warlorn


Gilda cheered, "Oh man! This is intense!"

Princess Twilight Sparkle turns pale and faints.

Gilda exasperated, "Come on! You said you wanted the 'royal tour' of the Griffinstone Slaughter House! You're gonna miss the best part where they saw the pig right down the middle!"


Sunset Shimmer outside said, "Well, I haven't heard 'Die meat eating barbarians!' yet... which means either Twilight is more tolerant than me, or she fainted."

(Normally Human Rainbow Dash) said, "So THAT'S HOW you got banned from the McBurger factory!"

Sunset (to Dash): "Huh? No, at the McBurger place they only used one cow for every thousand burgers. Remember what their motto used to be, 'Over ten million served and we still haven't used up the first cow'."


Celestia, also part of the tour said, "When in Roam..." She gathered her mighty Alicorn magic and turned into a celestial griffon. "Oh yes, these are some choice cuts!" She inhaled deeply, then grinned and feasted.

The griffons started cheering her on.

Twilight turned greener than Granny Smith. "Hurk!"

Celestia said "Come now, Twilight, you don't want to be rude to our hosts. This magic should be easy for you."
Twilight shifted her eyes about. "No, it's not! NO, it's NOT!" ;)

Gilda pointed out, "Dash said you once turned yourself and your friends into Breezies once."

Celestia said, "Look, see how simple it is." She zapped the (native pony) Rainbow Dash into a griffon.

Rainbow Dash grinned with her beak. "Yessss!" She clawbumped with Gilda and joined the feast.

Twilight groaned. "Great... I'd almost gotten Dash to stop asking for that."

Fluttershy raised a hoof timidly. "Actually... sometimes I've wondered. You know, what it's like for my meat-eating friends..."

Celestia smiled. "Say no more." Zap!

Fluttergriffon cheered. "Yay... I mean, outta my way!" She Started feasting.

Celestia tapped her beak with a claw. "Hmm, I forgot that griffons do tend to be more aggressive than ponies. Part culture, part heredity."

Twilight sighed. "What fresh horrors are coming next?"



Gilda explained, "Well, the Griffinstone Slaughter House is actually of great historical importance as it marked the first place where the killing of sentient species was forbidden and we focused our brutality on other non-sentient prey and did kill them painlessly before pulling apart their corpses for food production and entertainment."

Everybody stares as they realize that Gilda is REALLY into history.

Gilda stammered. "Erm... I mean those lame losers of yesterday finally got their act together here and had some cool carnage!"


Heaven help Twilight when she visited a royal feast in the Dragonlands...

"At least here they eat gems and not meat... OH, SWEET CELESTIA!"

She stood frozen as before snarling, hungry dragons swarming over some gigantic dead beast, tearing out mouthfuls of bloody flesh.

Ember waved, "Oh, hi, Twilight! Normally we'd eat gems but I remembered ponies can't do that; so we went with eating some of the prey beasts instead. Want some?" She held a out wet, dripping, raw, bloody chunk of meat to her.

Later -- Ember explained, "...and then she just turned green and threw up and passed out. Is that good manners among ponies?"

Alex Warlorn


Starlight woke up to banging on her front door, and opened it to find the mane six waiting outside fully decked out in camping gear.

"Okay Starlight, it's camping time!" Twilight said.

"Uh, Twilight, we discussed this, I just don't like camping."

"Oh silly Starlight," Twilight grinned. "You don't get to not like thing. You only not like things so we can show you the light and enlighten you to your ignorance not liking something that all of us like... Now come Starlight, you will be naturalized."

Twilight grabbed Starlight in her magic and pulled her towards the bedroom door and all the wild greenery, giant bugs, and massive trees just beyond. Starlight grabbed hold of her bed post as she was pulled into the hungry maul of the great out door!


Starlight woke up in her bed in a cold sweat.

And then she heard knocking.

"Okay Starlight, it's camping time!",Trixie said.

And then Starlight slammed the door on her face.

"OW! Trixie's nose!"

Outside her room Maud said, “Told you she wouldn’t like it.”

Sunburst fidgeted, "Uh... I could've told you that."


Pinkie Pie explained, "Hasbro demands that we sell the new camping set of toys! Next week we will be firefighters, then surfers and then birthday ponies."

Applejack tilted her head, her Pie gene briefly activating, "I heard, I won't be able to keep my hat since we`ll all have to wear something called birthday suit."


Later, the real world Twilight called, "It's camping time!"

Starlight waved, "That's wonderful! You girls have a great time."

And the mane six and company left without incident.

Spike waved, "See ya girls."

Starlight felt uneasy. "Wait... that's it?"

Spike turned to her confused. "You told me you hated camping after you tried it with the girls."

Starlight nodded epically. "I DO! ... It's just... a sense of unreality... I'm used to at this point that I say something is the right idea or something I dislike... and the girls epically prove how incorrect I am... Now they're just... politely and maturely accepting that I don't like something the same way they do? ... I feel like I've stepped into some kind of alternate universe."

Spike pointed a claw. "So let's do something *you* want to do. What do you like?"

Starlight tapped her chin, "Um, I like... kites? Trixie?"

"She went camping."

"Right... Magical research and experimentation? I used to do that... Ooh, mind control!" Starlight clapped her hooves.

Spike raise an a non-existent eyebrow, "You mean, making ponies do what YOU want without asking?"

Starlight cringed. "Ouch..." She smirked. "When did you get so logical?"

Spike smiled proudly. "Oh, I'm a dragon of many talents."

"Want to try my pocket reality spell?"

"Didn't Sunburst think that was creepy?"

Starlight grinned. "Maybe so. But turns out there are ponies who are willing to pay big bits to relive their foal hoods in an idealized bubble!"

Spike thought for a second. "I'm not exactly eager to relive my diaper days, but if that Fantasy World spell could go the other way..."

"You mean, like this?" KERZAP!

The Colossal Ryujin Spike, lounged in a hollow mountain full of treasure. "Whoa. Heh, too bad you can't join me in this future."

Alicorn Empress Starlight Glimmer sat on her throne, "Oh, can't I?"

"This is your fantasy future?"

"Better than Twilight's fantasy future where she ships Applejack and Rainbow Dash."

Spike wagged a claw. "Now, now! There's no wrong way to imagine."

Starlight then added shyly, "She also imagined that you grow up to be a purple gorilla with wings and stay her Number One Assistant *forever*."

"Maybe... Twilight just doesn't have that good of an imagination? That would explain a few things."

Starlight leaned closer to the giant dragon, "I saw your drawing you thought you'd hidden of yourself as an armored purple gorilla rescuing Princess Rarity."

Spike snapped, "THAT WAS NINE YEARS AGO!"

Alex Warlorn