I stand side by side with the greatest Nord heroes of old. My greatest friend stands by my side, smiling for the fight about to come. I smile as Wuuthrad calls out for the blood of this dragon. My smile only widens as the dragon flies in. Hakon shouts out, “As one everybody!”
We all, with the exception of my friend, shout at once, “Joor Zah Frul!”
Alduin falls to the ground as his life force is stripped away. I yell as I charge towards him, “For Malacath!”
The Nords shout out as one, “For Skyrim!”
I leap with all my force, and being Wuuthrad down onto Alduin with all the power I can. The enchantment of fire burns him from the inside, and the heroes all start to strike with their own weapons.
Already, Alduin has been heavily damaged, and cries out in pain. He recovers, and looks at us, “Foolish men, Jul Kall, you think you can use the Thu’um to defeat me?” He takes a deep breath in, and faces the Nord heroes, “Fus Ro Dah!”
The heroes are blasted back by the force of the shout, but I take advantage of it. I bring down Wuuthrad with the strength of ten headsmen right onto the joint of his wing. The axe gets about halfway through before I have to pull it out. I spit at Alduin, “They may be but foolish men, but we are Orcs! Ghorbash, together, for Malacath!”
He slides across the ground, his Nightingale Armor allowing him the easy movement. He fires a daedric arrow from his enchanted bow, temporarily absorbing the life force of Alduin. He comes out of the slide, right near his wing. He takes out Chillrend, and slices deep into Alduin, sending shivers through his entire body. Ghorbash then backflips to in front of me, and makes use of his temporary strength.
He holds his hands out, of which I jump into. He flips me into the air, sending me on a twirling whirlwind of death, headed for Alduin. The momentum pays off as I gouge through his scales, and get the blade deep into his neck. I use the weight of my heavy armor and momentum to bring me down the rest of the way, creating a deep and long wound on Alduin’s neck.
I land on my feet, and see the Nordic heroes make a valiant charge. Alduin swats them aside with a single flick of his tail. He faces me and Ghorbash with a rage that would seem common on an Orc face, “You filthy Ogiim dare to think you can stand up to me!? I shall crush you like the bugs you are!”
He raises his claw, and brings it down upon us. I shout my rage as I throw Wuuthrad to the ground. I prepare my own fists, and meet Alduin’s claw with my own strength.
The impact of his claw and my fists is so powerful that it sends a minor shockwave out from us. I hold against the force of his claws, and think of how to solve this, “Ghorbash! Razor, Wabbajack!”
He nods, and rips the items from his back and hip. He holds Mehrunes Razor with a skillful mastery. He drives the blade into the bottom of Alduin’s claw, and starts to suck out Alduin’s very soul.
Alduin pulls his claw back in surpise as he stares at the little blade in my friends hands, “You have the Razor!? Sil Al!?”
I laugh at his fear, “That’s right, we hold one of the few weapons that can kill you instantly!”
He starts to back up, and try to fly away. One of the Nords shout, “Don’t let him escape!”
With a single arrow, he loses the energy to be able to fly away. He collapses to the ground, and starts to flee. This is also stopped with another arrow to his legs.
He slumps down to the ground, and I approach him. I hold Wuuthrad in front of his eyes, “Get a good look, World Eater. This will be what kills you. Pray to Akatosh if you think your daddy will help you.”
He looks back at me with a fire still burning, “I will not pray to any mortal gods. I am a great destroyer, and now it’s my turn to get a taste.”
As soon as he says that, the universe splits open. A glowing portal is created by bloodied tentacles ripping it open from the other side. A voice rings out from inside it, “D̵̶͢͏̯̹̫̺̱̫͙̥̜̫̗̳e̷͏̶̡̘͓͇̟͇͔̪̬̰̫͖̰̪̻̤̙͞s̵͉͓̖̗̥̞̱̭̺͕̘͞t̨͖̻͚̺̗̕͜ŕ͉̘̣͚̺͍̬͎̪̖̤̫̗͔̠̘o͏҉̧̲͍͖̻͇̥̩̯̰͉͢y͙̬̣̦͇̻͙̣͕͎̙̰̯̺͎̮̰͔̕͠͝!̷̨̢͓̰͕̮̥̖̳̖̼͉͙͔̭̤̣̞̀͜ͅ”
Alduin takes no time to crawl in the portal.
I’m only able to process what’s going on by the time his tail has disappeared into the portal. I grab Ghorbash on the shoulder, and start to run into the portal, “We can’t let him escape!”
Ghorbash and I rush into the unknown after Alduin, and find ourselves come out somewhere completely different.
We emerge on a green hillside as the portal closes behind us. I look over the landscape. Green, very green. I look over to Ghorbash, “I don’t think we’re in Skyrim anymore.”
He looks over the landscape, “Gotta admit, that’s impressive.”
I scan the horizon, “But where is Alduin!? He’s a dragon, shouldn't be that hard to spot!”
Ghorbash puts a hand on my shoulder, and points to a mountain in the distance, “Village over there, and a city on the mountain. City means royalty, royalty means they have their heads shoved so far up their ass that they wouldn’t see a dragon. Village means people on the lookout for bandits and marauders. We should set out for that village, ask around and see where he went.”
I nod along, “Good idea. Look at that, some weird smoke coming from a building! Must be a bandit camp, or vampire castle, or something else evil! We can go in there, and free the citizens of that village from the surely evil things inside, then they would be happy to help!”
Ghorbash looks at the smoking building as well, “Looks black, like it’s made of ebony or it’s daedric. We should check it out.”
I smile, and start to jump down the hill to the village, “Just like old times, eh Ghorbash?”
He jumps after me, “If by ‘old times’ you mean last week.”
Me and Ghorbash step up to the door of the black building. Ghorbash draws Chillrend, “So what? We enter in the front door?”
I nod, and draw Wuuthrad, “The most straightforward plan is the best plan in this case.”
He smiles, “Good. Malacath witness our deeds.”
I kick open the door, and move into the building, “Come and face me, cowards!”
Ghorbash moves in behind me, but we are all stopped in our tracks by the sight before us. Small horses, very colorful, all sitting near strange devices that they seem to be crafting. The movement of the entire floor stops as we burst in. Both of us stare at each other in confusion, until one of them shout, “We’re under attack!”
The building erupts into chaos as a red light starts flashing and a loud blaring noise fills the hall. Small creatures with single red eye and a nose that sticks out way to far swivels to look at us. Within an instant, the two creatures start to cast fire spells at us with loud bangs.
Ghorbash holds up Spellbreaker and I allow my Ebony Mail to deflect the spells. I charge at the thing, and swing Wuuthrad at it. Wuuthrad connects, and the creature explodes for some reason. But, instead of blood, all that flies onto me are metal and wires. I hear a similar explosion as Ghorbash walks to me, “I don’t know what kind of creatures these are. My bow didn’t absorb any life, so they lack a soul.”
I nod, and am about to speak when a bang sounds out in the room. I feel a bite into my back, no worse than an average iron sword. I turn around to see one of the small ponies pointing the devices they were crafting at me. I shout at him, “Zun!”
The shout meets him, and sends the weapon flinging away. The small horse looks at me in fear as I approach.
I grab the pony by the neck, and grip so that he can still breathe as I hold him. I look him right in the eye, “Okay, miniature horse, I am confused. I don’t like being confused. What is this place, and what are you?”
He fearfully responds, “I’m a pony! All I want to do is make weapons for my country! This is a factory!”
I shake my head, “No, you misunderstand. What Provence are we in?”
He says out, “Canterlot! We are under the jurisdiction of Canterlot!”
I tighten my hand, “I’m afraid I don’t understand. Vvardenfell, Morrowind, Black Marsh, High Rock, Hammerfell, Cyrodiil, Elsweyr, Valenwood, Skyrim, or the Summerset Isles?”
The pony speaks around my hand, “None of them! I don’t even know the names!”
I frown, “I lose my patience. Where is Alduin?”
The pony speaks with the fear running through his voice, “I don’t know anypony called Alduin!”
I sigh, “You speak too fearful to be trusted. Let’s give you the balls to say what you mean to say.”
I summon up Courage, one of the only Illusion spells I know, and cast it on the pony. They start to speak instantly, “You don’t scare me freak! Kill me, I don’t care! Lord Raven shall heal me, and shall kill you! You hear that, freak!? Raven is coming, and he’s going to shove that axe up your plot! Hear that in the distance, that’s him coming to save us!”
I throw the pony into the corner, and turn to face Ghorbash, “Sounds like a cult of ponies worshipping a necromancer or vampire to me.”
Ghorbash is about to respond when he is interrupted by a squealing sound. Light slowly starts to shine in the room as a young voice speaks from behind me, “Got one out of two right.”
I turn around to see a smaller pony wearing black robes, standing next to a wall just peeled off the building.
He smiles at me, his eyeless voids somehow carrying it, “Come, I just prepared a batch of tea. I’m sure we could settle down and talk about this like adults.”
I draw Wuuthrad, “You ask me to back down!? You will regret that!”
Ghorbash puts his hand on my shoulder, “Wait, maybe we should listen to him. This is the first foe we faced that tried to talk to us.”
I glower, “Stormcloak tried to talk to us, and he was the most evil enemy I’ve ever faced.”
He shakes his head, “Stormcloak was a murderer, we knew that. But this enemy, we know nothing about.”
The necromancer speaks, “Listen to your friend. We can sit and talk over a bottle of something.”
I turn to face my foe, “You think I would surrender?”
He shakes his head, “If you need to make it about surrendering, than I’ll say this. I surrender. Now, can we talk this out?”
I put Wuuthrad back onto my back, “If it means I won against you, than yes.”
He smiles, “Wonderful, follow me. I know there’s a tavern around here.”
We walk through a village not dissimilar to Riverwood. Every citizen we pass gives a salute to our direction. I scoff, “Some important Necromancer you must be, having an entire village salute you.”
He smiles as he looks around, “Not just this village, but my entire nation. Now that I think about it, we have yet to introduce ourselves.”
Ghorbash speaks up, “Ghorbash the Iron Hand.”
I nod, and speak out my only known name, “Dovahkin, Dragonborn.”
He tsks as he continues his pace, “Strange names. I am Lord Ravens Breath, one of the six Ministers of Equestria.”
I grunt out, “Minister? Don’t sound that impressive.”
He then turns to a building, and opens it up. He moves in, and we follow him to a wooden table within. Sitting at the table is another unicorn, this one white. Raven stops by her, and smiles, “Well, I got the problem all solved out. You don’t mind them sitting with us, right Sweetie?”
She sighs, and speaks in a voice like an elven bard, “I guess they can, as long as they act sensibly. What are these creatures anyway, Raven?”
We both pull out a seat on the other side of the table, “We are Orcs.”
Raven raises an eyebrow, “Really? You’re Orcs?”
The mare lets out a giggle, and begins to speak in a very broken accent, “‘Das’ da’ evil lord right der’! Smash em’ mash em’ praise Gork and Mork as the Orcz Wil Witers chase him, right Raven? Rad ukh kraat ugil izg urdan u khur jashat latob spine sha izub tabz funny asht, agh snu choke lat sha it? Those types of Orcs?”
Raven introduces his face to the table, “Of course you would remember that, why wouldn’t you? Quick word of warning, racist comments aren’t the best way to start off a conversation.”
Ghorbash and I exchange glances, “What in Malacath’s name is a Gork or Mork?”
Raven turns his eye back to us, “You don’t know your own gods? Who is Malacath anyway?”
Ghorbash answers, “Malacath is the Daedric Prince of the spurned and ostracized, and is the maker of the Orcs. We know our Prince’s and Divines, thank you very much.”
Raven looks between us and the mare, “Maybe we should get onto another topic. Oh, introductions!”
The mare smiles, “Well, it seems like you weren’t offended by my pervious comments, wonderful. I am Sweetie Belle, Lady of Generosity, Lady of Music, and Minister of the Minestry of Music. Pleasure to meet you.”
Raven follows after, “As you know, I Lord Ravens Breath. Lord of Magic, Lord of Life, Lord of Death, and Minster of the Minestry of Warfare. To let you know the power system, it goes from the Queen to us six Lords and Ladies.”
Ghorbash nods, “I am Ghorbash the Iron Hand.”
I nod, “The only name I know is my title. Dovahkin, Dragonborn.”
Raven leans forward, “That word there, Dovahkin, what language is that from?”
Sweetie leans in as well, “Yes, it does sound like an elegant tongue.”
I nod slowly, “Dovahzul, the language of the dragons.”
Raven leans back again, “But... I speak dragon, and it sounds nothing like that. Tell me, how did you two get here?”
I sigh, “We were killing the greatest enemy in our world when a portal opened up, and he crawled his way here. Tell me, have you seen a very large dragon anytime soon?”
Raven shakes his head, “Last time I saw a dragon was the Migration a few months ago. Although, I did see one dragon there that was different.”
I lean over the table, “What exactly did this dragon do that was different?”
Raven seems to reach back into the past, “Well, it was obviously injured, I noticed that much. Had to be carried by other dragons, all of which seemed to listen to whatever he said, like an alpha or something. He didn’t have any arms, only one pair of legs and a set of wings. It was a very dark grey, and it’s eyes a furious red. He was bleeding everywhere as well, arrows sticking out of him, and cuts all over his body.”
I look at Ghorbash, “I think we’ve found Alduin.”
Raven slowly nods, “Well, yeah, but that was months ago. Finding him now would be very hard to do for two Orcs.”
I glare into the necromancers eyes, “Are you saying I should let him go?”
Ghorbash waves his hands in front of my eyes, breaking me out of it, “I know you want to kill Alduin, friend, I do too. But Raven speaks true, even with Clairvoyance, it would be hard to find him. And what of our power? We managed to defeat him with the strength of multiple Dragon Rend’s, but he would be stronger than ever without those shouts being cast on him.”
Raven leans forward, “That is exactly why I have a proposition. If you want to hear, than follow me.” He stands up, but gives a small kiss to Sweetie, “Sorry, I swear we’ll get a regular date one of these days.”
She sighs, “It’s fine, Raven, the war comes first. This meeting has actually done good, I have come up with a new song based off them.”
Raven gives one last peck before walking away. Ghorbash stands, “Come, might as well see what he wants to say.”
I stand up after him, and follow Raven into a back room of the tavern.
We step into the back room of the tavern, only to see a portal waiting there. Raven continues forward, “Come on, through the portal.”
We follow after him into a very bright and gold room. I look around in our new location, “What is this place?”
Raven walks up to a random wall, and starts to tap around randomly on it, “Canterlot Palace, the centeral city of our nation. We have a portal to this room installed in every public building.”
I look around some more, “Seems quite... extravagant.”
Raven pushes open the wall after a final tap, “What can I say? Our nation is a very rich one, we can afford these luxuries.”
Ghorbash slightly laughs as the wall opens, “Gotta admit, that’s impressive. A false wall, genius idea.”
I walk after Raven, into the room through the false wall, “Yeah, yeah, I prefer a good old lock any time of the day.”
Raven peeks back, “But then people will know there is a room, and lockpicks could get in.”
I nod, “That’s the point. What if I forgot which wall it was, or what the way to open it was? At least I know I can pick a lock.”
We then walk into a dark room, with a bright magical projection of a map in the center. Ghorbash looks around, “Looks like Castle Dour to me.”
I scoff, “What’s Castle Dour with no General Tullius? A Nord construction that serves no purpose, that’s what. No flags of ours hang on the walls, no guards comment on sweetrolls, there is no Hadvar to fight alongside. This is Castle Dour like the Hall of Kings is the Ashpit.”
Raven coughs politely, “If you are done scrutinizing my room, we can get down to details.”
I nod, and the three of us gather around the map, “Speak.”
He nods, “Some history first. Around nineteen years ago, an army was lead against the previous Queen, Celestia. It was headed by me and the other Lords, and given support by now Queen Luna. After a fair trial, Celestia refused to face judgement for the many crimes she’s committed. So, we had to destroy her ourselves to bring justice for her crimes.”
I grunt out, “What crimes?”
He looks up, “Genocide, Negligence, High Treson, False Imprisonment, Murder, Battery, and Abuse of Authority. She was the greatest criminal the world had ever seen, and we took her down.”
I nod, “Than what is all this with the map?”
He nods, “After we took over the nation, many split off. The Loyalists have taken many key locations in the first few years. Now, we have managed to push them back, but our progress is slow. Every technology we create seems to be secured and manufactured by them as well.”
I lean back, and sigh, “Another civil war? Why not?”
Ghorbash on the other hand, smiles, “Might not be Stormcloaks, but it’ll do.”
Raven looks between us, “If you agree to help my nation, I will use everything in my powers to find Alduin. We need your expertise, as you seem to be both very powerful warriors. Let me tell you, it’s not everyday that a being can simply shrug off being shot by turrets and guns.”
Ghorbash immediately nods, “Maybe we could also get an alliance between your nation and the Empire.”
I hesitate for a bit before nodding, “What can we do?”
He points at a point of red near the edge of the map, “On our border with the Minotaur nation is a small village of Minotaurs. It has been subjugated by the Loyalists since the beginning of the war, and it is a village rich in resources. We haven’t been able to piece that far into their territory. Those Minotaurs could prove valuable warriors, and that village will give us much needed materials. I need them to be free and battle ready. You two are to slaughter all the Loyalists within the village, and train the Minotaurs to be an elite troop of deadly warriors.”
I nod, and lean back, “So, kill enemies, train friendlies. Sounds easy, if long.”
Ghorbash smiles once more, “How do we get to this village?”
Raven draws a line in the map, “The best way would be to sneak through enemy territory. It won’t take long, but might be difficult. The best path is to take a train until you start to near Tall Tale, and sneak the rest of the way north. I will send one of my troops to assist.”
I cross my arms, “Who would that be?”
Raven takes a dart, and throws it at a chart, “Sergeant Mass Offense. Good luck, he will meet you at the train station.”
We both nod, and walk out. When we are out, I look at Ghorbash, “What is a train?”
Ghorbash and I stride into a large wooden platform where a large metal beast sits. A pony wearing a golden helmet walks up to us, and salutes, “I take it you are the VIB’s we heard about?”
I nod, “Your lord sent us here.”
The pony nods, “Welcome aboard the E.M.T Death’s Fingers, sirs. Meet with Sergeant Mass Offense in the second car. He should brief you on the details of your mission.”
I nod, and we two start to move for what is labeled the second car. Ghorbash admires the speed in which the ponies load crates onto the metal, “These ponies seem quite impressive from what I’ve seen. Advanced magical projectiles, metal carriages, and overall organization. If the Legion had this, the Rebellion would have been put down long before we intervened. Wonder how they are still fighting.”
I shake my head as I enter the carriage, “For all we know, they’re tactics are pitiful. They seem to be peaceful creatures as well. Look at their faces, all serious and frowns. Quite a few of them show the outward signs of battle fatigue. The workers in the big smithy all cowardly, fled upon sight of us. It’s clear they are a peaceful people, thus a pitiful people. They do not know the beauty, the rage, the fun, or the courage that war causes. They have soldiers, not warriors. The Legion would be able to destroy this nation within a year. Remember, ‘every hammer needs a motivated Orc behind it to work’.”
Ghorbash nods, “True, but you have to admit that they’re quite impressive for a peaceful race.”
We fully walk in, and a single pony sits there. A stallion with a green coat, and a contrasting red hair and tail. Not anyone particularly intimidating, but still big. He stands up, and salutes us as we step on, “Pleasure to meet you sirs! I am Sergeant Mass Offense!”
I nod, “See, look at that. He salutes us! He doesn’t even know who we are, and he salutes us!”
He returns to his ease position, “I could stop if you wish.”
I sigh, and rub my helmet into my gauntlet, “I’m Dovahkin, that is what you will call me, milk drinker.”
Ghorbash smiles, “I am Ghorbash, and that is what you shall refer to me as, youngling.”
He bristles up, “Youngling? Excuse me, I am thirty!”
Ghorbash barks out a laugh, “Exactly, youngling.”
I follow him up, “Let me guess, you haven’t killed anything yet, have you?”
He looks down, “Well... no, this is my first time in the field.”
I lean down and look him right in the eye, “Then you listen to me, milk drinker. You will do what we say when we say it and not question it.”
He shakes his head, and meets my glare, “Excuse me, I don’t have to listen to you! I am a Sergeant, I probably outrank you!”
I smile, “Really? I am the Dovahkin, no matter who you think you are, I outrank you. Leader of the Thieves Guild, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Archmage of the Collage of Winterhold, the Slayer of Stormcloak, the Chosen of Sheogorath, Malacath, Azura, Peryite, Mehrunes Dagon, Molog Bahl, Boethiah, Clavicus Vile, Sanguine, and Nocturnal. You wanna list any gods who might favor you over me? The Cleanser of Blackreach?”
He backs down, “No sir.”
I frown, and lean up, “Malacath, get yourself together. Where is your confidence, your rage and fury? You shouldn’t just back down.” I sigh, “Okay, explain our mission.”
He sighs as well, “We are on a train that will push through enemy positions and will pass right by our destination. When we pass near it, it is are job to jump out and free the village. You know the rest.”
I nod, “Alright, sounds easy enough.”
He scoffs, “You think clearing an entire village of enemies will be easy? With only three?”
I shake my head, “I think it will be easy with only two. With three, it’s simple. We just kill everything in there except for the Minotaurs.”
He leans back, “Whatever.”
I look over to Ghorbash, “Wake me up when we arrive.”
I’m awakened by Ghorbash as Offense opens the train door. Loud bangs sound out from our train, and explosions are heard in the distance. The train rattles with every bang, and the air outside is filled with weapons firing off their spells. Offense is wearing some strange armor, and turns to face us, ”Come on!”
Ghorbash nods to be, and we both go running for the door. We jump out of it, with Offense following behind us. Projectiles fly around us as we hit to ground. I come out in a roll, and see the train disappear into the distance. Ghorbash comes to a roll beside me, and Offense flops on the ground. Picking ourselves up, Ghorbash remarks, “That was fun.”
Offense stands up, and coughs roughly, “Didn’t know the train was going to go in gun’s a blazing. The entire village is probably awake now!”
I smile, and take Wuuthrad out, “All the better. That in the distance, the lights, is that the village?”
Offense nods, “Correct.”
Ghorbash takes out his Nightingale bow, and a daedric arrow, “Let’s not keep them waiting.”
Offense moves after us as we start to walk, “Are you insane!? You think you can just walk into a village of enemies and survive! When they have guns, no less!?”
I nod, “Yep. That’s what we do.”
He just sighs, and relents, “Right, okay, sure. Where do you want me?”
Ghorbash scatches the chin of his helmet with his bow, “What weapon do you have?”
A large object appears on his back, peaking just past his shoulder and face, “A gatling laser. Accurate, fast, laser.”
Ghorbash points to hills surrounding the village, “You are to be on the hills with me, cutting down enemies as they appear. If that isn’t too much for a milk drinker like you.”
He grunts, “As if you could do better. That bow is old technology, ancient. You really think you can outdo me when you carry that around?”
Ghorbash whacks him on the head with the bow, “This bow has slain more than you could ever know. It has killed dragons, daedra, almost killed a god. I have felt the life of all I have shot with this, and they all fell before it. If you think your fancy lights are better than an arrow, your welcome to think so. You will find you are wrong, however, when I kill more than you.”
He looks at me, “What about him? Is he just going to charge in without care about the bullets killing him?”
I laugh, “Care about those pitiful projectiles? You should learn who you are talking to before you start talking.”
He’s about to speak up again, but Ghorbash taps him again, “Hey, milk drinker, now is the time we find a good position.”
The two of them move into the hills as I continue to the village. Snow billows around, but melts as soon as it hits the ground for some reason. I see lights come from towers around the village, trying to find anything in the snow. They scan the ground in front of me as I walk closer.
One gets dangerously close to me, before stopping in it’s tracks. I can see a faint red glow around the enemy in the tower as the bow absorbs his life. Yet another faint red glow appears in two of the other towers as Ghorbash takes them out. The final one is taken out when a bright red flash of light strikes inside of it, and with another bright red explosion the pony turns to dust. Thing about that, it isn’t very quiet or hard to see. Soon, shouting erupts from the village.
I charge forward into the village as the enemy prepares. One unfortunate pony was assigned to close the gates as I arrive to them. The job becomes much harder now that they lack a head.
I enter into the village proper to see a bunch of carts knocked over as makeshift cover. Two groups watch me enter. A group of Minotaurs on the other side of the village, with an elder in front. And a bunch of ponies with so called ‘guns’ pointed over the cover.
“Fire!”
The ponies open fire at me, their projectiles bouncing off my Mail and Masque. An arrow comes in from the distance, striking one of them in the shoulder. I decide to give my overwatch a better shot. I breathe in, “Fus Ro Dah!”
The shockwave is sent out from my shout, and send ponies and cover flying. Red beams and arrows start flying into the village as I charge forward.
An enemy is taken down as I twirl Wuuthrad into and past his neck. A tinking sound comes from my side as I’m shot by an enemy. I summon up an ice spike, and fire it at the enemy. It goes right into and through their screaming mouth, and the ice turns to a slick red color.
I turn my attention forward again as a line of ponies start to fire into me. Well, as the saying goes, frost beats fire. I let out my chilling blast, “Fo Krah Diin!”
They all collapse as their internal organs freeze and stop.
I take out a few swords, and toss them to the group of Minotaurs, “Come on!”
The young ones all catch them, and start to move forward. Lead by one very tall one in particular. The elder puts his hand on the leader’s shoulder, but they simply shrug it off.
With the charging Minotaurs on one side and me on the other, the enemy gathers in a circle. The lead officer peaks up, “Fi-“
He’s cut off as an arrow pieces his skull, and he collapses into the soldiers. They, being panicked, decide to run into a nearby building. I smile, and crack my neck. The leader of the Minotaurs walks up to me, “We’ve got them trapped. I’m Orcius. Who are you?”
I nod, “Dovahkin, Orc. Say, do you think you can block all but one entrance?”
He nods, and those around him move to the debris around, and push it all around the building.
I move to the front door, and prepare Wuuthrad. I bring it swinging into the door, and cut into it, “Here’s Dovahkin!”
I peak in, but beyond the door is a lot of crates stacked from the inside. I place down Wuuthrad, and draw Volendrung. With a single swing, the hammer of Malacath bursts through the crates. I then peek my face in, and smile at the terrified ponies within. I shout in, “Yol Toor Shul!”
The wooden building catches on fire instantly, and I turn back as screams sound from inside. I smile at Orcius, “So, what now?”
I flick on the T.V and lean back with some popcorn, ready to watch the boring ponies go about their boring mortal lives. Seems like nothing good is on anymore, ponies somehow make war boring. So imagine my shock when a familiar looking creature is marching to a village.
I summon up a phone, and put in a number, “Sheo, is this your doing?”
Said Prince of Madness pulls himself into my personal void, “What are you talking about, Dissy?”
I point at the huge screen projecting the creature on it, “Is that not the guy you said you gave the Wabbajack to?”
He looks over at the screen, “Oh! That would explain the cut in the world into the void. He must have cut open the very fabric of the world’s in order to get here! I knew he deserved the Wabbajack!”
I nod, and pop another bag of popcorn into existence, “Wanna watch?”
He takes it, before looking at the screen again, “Wait, didn’t he have other artifacts? He did! The other Princes should watch this!”
He then takes out a block of cheese shaped like a flip phone, and starts talking into it, “Hey Malt Chocolate! We found one of your Orcs where he’s not supposed to be!”
Another hole in the void is created as another Prince claws his way in, “What was that you said, Shin Gap?”
Sheo smiles at the Orc, “It’s that Orc! The one with Volendrung!”
He looks at the screen, “Well. That’s interesting. I suppose I should watch over my artifact.”
I hand him another bag of popcorn, “Welcome to the group!”
He looks at me, “Another creature of Chaos like him?”
I smile, “Well, if he was Madness, I would be Chaos. Take it.”
He takes it, and takes a seat, “Sure.”
A small, imp like creature tears himself in, “Excuse me, is this the Orc I hear you talking about?”
Sheo smiles once more, “Ah, Clavy! I was just about to call you, take a seat next to Malacath!”
Then, a woman follows after, “Do I hear this right? This Orc has got my artifact stuck in another world?”
Sheo nods, “That would be correct, Merida! Better watch over it here with us!”
The next comes through, although the void seems to bow before him rather than be forced open, “My Mace is stuck here!?”
Sheo loses his smile at the next one, “Oh, Molag, wonderful. Hey, he might use it, might as well sit and watch with the rest of us!”
Right after that comes another, “He got my Mail stuck over here? How incompetent is he.”
Sheo smiles once more, “Very incompetent! We all know how mortals are. Have a seat!”
Then another, “My Razor is beyond my reach! I shall kill that mortal for this transgression!”
Clavicus scoffs, “Good riddance to that thing I say. I’m quite thankful he got rid of it.”
Malacath speaks up as well, “You want to kill one of my kin, you gotta get through me first.”
Sheo pushes him into a seat, “Just sit down, Mehrunes, enjoy the change he will cause to this timeline.”
Then, a final light appears, and Akatosh appears, “Did one of you mention my Dovahkin?”
I nod, “Yep, come and watch with us!”
Sheo waits for a minute more for any more, “What about Nocturnal or Petryte?”
I shrug, “Probably don’t care about their artifact. Now, let’s begin the program!”
With a snap, the display resumes, showing the Orc charge into the village.
