My Little Pony The Movie 2
“Aaaaaaah”, said me as Twilight Sparkle spent the remainder of her day sitting on my anus, staring at the sun. “Oooooooooh” I said once more.
Then we floated in the air and went flying because I was known as a gibbering flapulator. This name was given by the fact that my cheeks were being pressed on and no pony could stop the end of this world. Of my anus being stretched apart by Twilight Sparkle’s butt tethering.
“Ooooh lala, we are going into the sun my boy”, said Twilight Sparkle.
“No Twilight, please, assassinate my pustules before you slammulate them into the sunny days” I said.
There we were going lightspeeds and the sun was getting ever closer. My nobulars were roasting like an open fire and the doomed race of man came to me in riddles. I knew now that Twilight was going to kill us all and there was nothing that could be done. My hair turned aflame, and Twilight went supernova.
“We are approaching impact boy, we are going to hit the sun and blow it up” said Twilight Sparkle.
I turned my head towards the equine spelling our doom. Her face contorted into the face of Old Man Kratos from God of War. My eye sockets melted, my brain cells corroded into plasticine mice of yellow and green. Nothing made any sense, it turned out that Twilight Sparkle was Kratos the god killer all along. When she was born, her soul was taken over by the beast known as Kratos, he died many thousands of years ago, but he returned because Celestia was here. He needed to kill again, and this was the only way.
“Alright boy, we are almost there, Celestia will die a horrible death and there is nothing that can stop me!”
“Think again!’
Oh my dear god, it was Jesus Christ, he had returned after humanity had died off and was replaced by sentient horses. He was floating in space on a radicool skateboard and a safety helmet for protection.
“I have finally returd, and now that I have done so, I will save you two even though you are trying to kill the sun!”
Then it hit me, the sun had no fault in this. I was just a flabbulator that couldn’t handle the ways of the god killer. Kratos aimed my pustule butt at Jesus and pressed them firmly and caressingly. A stream of shit slammed out in an almost beam like fashion. The shit smear beam slammed into Jesus’s skateboard before he deflected it with holy power.
Twilight’s face returned to normal and she screamed loudly at her freedom.
“Listen to me friend” she said desperately. “You must stop Kratos from blowing up the sun, Discord and the rest of the powerful individuals have been apprehended, you and jesus are our only hope”.
She tried to release herself from my butt, but the power of Kratos was too great.
“Agh, he’s coming back, please friend, do something or else we’re all doomed!” she said.
She screamed, and her head contorted back to purple man face of Kratos.
“There isn’t much time boy, Jesus will return again and I will have to blow up the sun” he said. “You must make a big boy decision, son”
“Wait, I’m not your son, nor am I even related to you”.
“Oh yes you are, I gave birth to you while using her body while being violated by twenty something zebras, you are our child”
“Oh dear lord, it can’t be, that's impossible!”
Kratos smacked the face of his son.
“Look into your heart, you know it to be true!”
I looked into my hooves, their purple skin mixed with black zebra lines. It all made sense now, the terror of such a horrible thing could not be fixtured or explained.
“Mmm yes, I did take quite a wolliping from big Zebra boys to make you and now you must fulfill your destiny”.
Choose!
Will he follow his… father? To the sun and blow it up,
Or will he follow his… mother? And not blow up the sun.