Pinkamena Diane Pie must face her greatest adversary - Pinkie Pie.
After sacrificing her world, Pinkamena knew that it would be difficult adjusting to a new Equestria. But she never expected herself - or rather this Equestria's version of herself - to be so difficult.
Derpy Hooves flew above the street, weaving amongst lampposts and avoiding the hazardous clotheslines strung between buildings that always ensnared unsuspecting pegasi. With each bank and turn, her heavy mailbag swung in the opposite direction, attempting to pull her off course and into yet another crash. But this well-known mare of disaster had avoided causing any insurance claims today.
Reaching the intersection, she made a sharp right turn onto Stirrup Street. Suddenly the normal sounds of life died away into nothing. Absolute nothing. Derpy glanced down and saw everypony standing in stunned silence. A quick search and she found the source of the town’s astonishment –
Wham! Crash! Shatter! Dazed and confused, Derpy lay on a window sill, her head busted through heavy wooden shutters and a broken pane of glass into a darkened room. A moment later the light flicked on and Rarity stood there, surveying the damage. “Derpy! What in Celestia’s name happened!?”
“Heya Rarity!” she called with a big smile as she rummaged around her in mailbag. “I think I have a letter for you!”
Meanwhile, down below, Derpy’s latest accident failed to attract any attention, so focused were the citizens of Ponyville on the sight before them. Two ponies strolled down the center of the street. One, a lavender alicorn, smiled and acknowledged the shocked onlookers with occasional nods of the head and waves of the hoof or wing. The other, a taller pink alicorn with a straight mane, walked rigidly as she anxiously gazed about the assembled masses fixated upon her. Scores – no hundreds – of blank stares from ponies young and old followed their slow journey through town.
“Tell me, Twilight, do your subjects always stare?”
“They’re not my subjects – they’re my friends. And no, they don’t usually stare like this. They’re just –” She looked around at the hundreds of unblinking eyes locked upon them. “– surprised to see you,” she said as she let out a nervous laugh.
The two continued down the crowded yet noiseless street, a surreal experience for them both. Soft hoofsteps seemed to echo off the walls of the buildings. A faint breeze blew through town, its sound like a hurricane against the deathly silence.
Leaning in close, Princess Pinkamena held up a wing to shield her voice and whispered, “I do not like these stares. It feels as though we are walking to the gallows.”
Princess Twilight whispered back, “Everything’s alright. This is your home now. You’ll find the ponies here friendly.”
Gazing at the haunting glares of the masses, she said, “Still, I wish we had teleported there directly.”
“You can’t avoid Ponyville forever.”
“I would have preferred to meet the subjects at a small, formal reception... not out in the open, leaving us vulnerable to attack.”
“You shouldn’t worry about that,” assured Twilight. “Ponyville is a safe town... most of the time.”
Pinkamena arched an eyebrow, but when Twilight didn’t reply, let the matter drop.
After an uncomfortable walk, with the two always in the eye in a swirling storm of unwanted attention, the pair arrived before Ponyville’s whimsically-decorated sweet shop, Sugarcube Corner.
“Are you ready?” asked Twilight with an encouraging, hopeful smile.
Pinkamena shook her head, “No.” Sighing, she resigned herself to the task, “But I suppose our meeting is inevitable. Come, let us face her.” Her horn glowed with a bright blue aura, as she turned the knob and opened the door.
Ding-a-ling! rang the bell over the front door as the two alicorns entered.
Inside they found themselves surrounded and outnumbered by a vast army of sugary pastries while towering cakes loomed over them. Their eyes caught site of a display case overflowing with dozens of varieties of chocolates along with hard candies of every color of a rainbow. And their noses detected the scent of even more sweet treats baking in the oven.
“Pinkie?” called Twilight.
A moment later the kitchen door swung open. Pinkie Pie bounced in, “Hi Twi –” Catching sight of the other alicorn, she became distracted and tripped, landing face first on the floor. “Ow.”
“Are you all right!” cried Twilight, rushing over to help her friend to her hooves.
“Okey-dokey,” assured Pinkie with a big grin.
Pinkameana stood back and silently watched the two friends interact.
“Pinkie, there’s somepony I’d like you to meet,” said Twilight as she motioned towards the other pony in the room.
Pinkamena stepped forward, “Hello, I’m –”
“No! Don’t tell me!” Pinkie donned her deerstalker hat and puffed a pipe as she slowly circled, carefully studying the mysterious pink alicorn. “Hmm... horn... wings... pink coat... pink mane and tail... blue eyes... you look awfully familiar,” she mused rubbing her chin. Instantly her face lit up. “Twilight, why didn’t you tell me that Princess Cadence had a sister?”
Pinkamena groaned and rolled her eyes.
“Pinkie, Cadence doesn’t have a sister,” replied Twilight.
“Oh, I guess I lose the game. Unless I can have another guess?” she asked, her face full of hope.
The pink alicorn said very slowly, “My name is Pinkamena... Diane......... Pie.”
Pinkie gasped, “It is? Wow! What a coinkydink! That’s my name too!”
Twilight groaned, “Pinkie, she’s you!”
The pipe fell from Pinkie’s gaping mouth. “She is?”
“Yes.”
A flash of horror spread across her face. “I swear I didn’t use the Mirror Pond to make a clone of me!” Pinkie insisted.
Twilight hooffaced.
“Mirror Pond?” inquired a confused Pinkamena.
“She’s not really you,” explained Twilight. “She’s a Pinkie from another dimension.”
“Pinkamena,” corrected the alicorn.
“Ohhhhhh,” said Pinkie, suddenly getting it. “Like when you went to Canterlot High a few moons back and met the Pinkie Pie there?”
“Exactly,” responded Twilight.
“Canterlot High? You have traveled to other dimensions before?” asked Pinkamena.
"Well -"
“Sure,” piped in Pinkie. “This meanie unicorn named Sunset Shimmer stole Twilight’s crown so she could use its magic to take over that world. But Twilight and the ponies there defeated her and now Sunset’s good.”
“Wait, there has been another evil unicorn?” asked a confused Pinkamena. “Are all your enemies crazed unicorns?”
“No,” assured Twilight.
Pinkie thought for a moment, “Well, there was Sunset Shimmer… and Starlight Glimmer – ever notice how much those names sound alike?... and King Sombra... and Trixie... and Flim and Flam... and Nightmare Moon if you want to count an alicorn… and my Pinkie Sense is telling me we're goanna meet an evil unicorn named Tempest Shadow –”
“Pinkie – not helping,” said Twilight through gritted teeth as she glared at her friend. Turning to Pinkameana, she explained, “Actually we have lots of enemies that aren’t unicorns. We defeated Discord, a draconequus; Tirek, a centaur; Gilda, a griffon; Ahuizotl, a – you know, I don’t actually know what he is; along with Queen Chrysalis and a whole army of changelings.”
“For being the Princess of Friendship, you make a lot of enemies,” observed Pinkamena to Twilight’s ire. “I am not sure this Equestria is much safer than mine.”
Twilight facehoofed again. “Okay, I probably shouldn’t have gone into how many enemies we’ve made over the moons. But we’ve reformed a lot of them.... okay, three. Sunset Shimmer is now a pen pal of mine, Discord is Fluttershy’s friend, and Trixie isn’t actively seeking revenge against us... I think.”
“So how long will you be staying in Ponyville – our Ponyville?” asked Pinkie.
“Permanently,” replied Pinkamena.
“Really?”
“Since she’ll be living in Ponyville for a while, I thought you two should get to know each other,” explained Twilight.
Pinkie’s eyes lit up as a smile grew that was too big for her face. “That’s a great idea! And I know the best way for us to bond – baking!” She began pushing the pink alicorn towards the kitchen.
Pinkamena locked her legs and resisted, but the smaller earth pony was far stronger than one would imagine. As she passed through the kitchen door, Pinkamena gave a pleading look to Twilight, who only returned an encouraging smile....
Twilight sat in her comfy chair, her face obscured by a thick book entitled Marelin the Magnificent’s Marvelous Manual of Mystical Magic. Reaching the last page, she let out a contented sigh as she set the book onto a small pile to her left. Without hesitation, Twilight levitated an even thicker volume from a towering stack to her right and promptly buried her nose in it.
A door to the library opened and Spike pushed in a small cart. “I knew I’d find you in here,” he said with a hint of amusement that betrayed his deadpan face.
“Yeah, after battling Starlight Glimmer across time and space, I needed some R&R.”
“Reading & Re-reading?”
Twilight giggled, “Rest and Relaxation – but I suppose ‘Reading & Re-reading’ is also appropriate.”
He poured steaming tea into an awaiting cup. “I thought you’d like some as you studied.”
“That’s very thoughtful Spike, but you didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. But you had a rough time.”
She levitated her cup and set it on the coffee table. “Yes, but so did you. Aren’t there things you’d like to be doing now rather than waiting on me?”
He shrugged. “I guess.”
Twilight leaned over the armrest with a sly smile. “Wouldn’t you like to know how the Power Ponies escape from the sinking ship that the Maniac stranded them on?”
“Oh yeah, I’ve been dying to read – Wait a minute.” Spike furrowed his brow as he crossed his arms. “How do you know about the trap onboard the freighter? Have you secretly been reading my comic book collection?”
“Um –” She hesitated, as he tapped his claws expectantly upon the marble floor.
Wham!!!
The two looked to the far end of the library, where a door had been flung open, slamming it against the wall and causing a spiderweb of cracks to radiate out in every direction. The last traces of a pale blue aura parted as a creature stormed through the doorway. The figure was plastered by what appeared to be a chaotic mix of slimy cake batter, colorul frosting and thick icing. But the blue eyes, protruding horn, and outlines of wings instantly identified the pony.
“Pinkamena!” cried Twilight.
“What happened to you?” asked Spike.
Pinkamena trudged toward the pair until she stood before them and spat out even more batter from her mouth. “Two words – Pinkie Pie.”
“Your time with Pinkie didn’t go well?” asked Twilight, though her tone was less a question and more a statement of the obvious.
“No,” she said flatly.
Pinkamena used her hoof to wipe off her muzzle and flung the batter to the side. It landed on a stack of priceless ancient books, causing Twilight’s face to momentarily flash with horror, but she managed to regain her composure. “Tell us what happened,” Twilight urged, her eye twitching as she levitated a napkin over to wipe them down.
“I wanted to have a nice conversation to get to know my counterpart. Instead, she decides she wants to bake. And not something simple, she wants to bake everything – cakes, pies, muffins, cookies and dozens of things I have never even heard of in all my life. I tried to talk to her, but could not get a word in edgewise.”
“That does sound like Pinkie,” confirmed Spike.
“But the final straw was when she coated me in this mixture of cake batter and frosting.” Pinkamena stomped a hoof on the ground in anger, causing batter chunks to fall off her and cake the surrounding floor. “I could not take it anymore and left.”
“I’m sure it was an accident,” said Twilight.
“That is beside the point,” Pinkamena declared, her volume and frustration rising. “Your Pinkie is – is –”
“Pinkamena?” came a voice from down the hall.
“Here,” supplied an amused Spike.
“Pinkamena?” came a closer voice.
“I am not here!” she declared, teleporting away in a blinding blue flash that left the other two dazed.
Appearing at the door, Pinkie asked, “Twilight? Spike? Have you seen Pinkamena?”
“Why would you think she’s been here?” asked Spike, shaking off his stupor.
“I followed her trail from Sugarcube Corner.” She motioned to the chunks of cake batter that ran from the library door to just in front of Twilight and Spike.
“Pinkie Pie, what happened?” urged Twilight.
“That Pinkamena,” she began, “she’s – she’s –”
“Yes?”
“She puts the mean in Pinkamena, that’s what,” Pinkie said, shaking her head. “We were having such a fun time baking – an apple pie, lemon upside-down cake, strawberry cinnamon cilantro cupcakes, sugar cookies, MMMM –”
“Well, I had an accident and accidentally dumped cake batter on her. I tried to say I was sorry, but then she threw a tub of frosting at me. Then I threw flour at her, and she tossed a bag of nuts at me. I replied with shots of icing and then –”
“Pinkie?” interrupted Spike. “How come you’re not coated with all that stuff?”
Giggling, she explained, “I caught most most of it with my mouth.” Pinkie rubbed her stomach as she licked her lips, “And boy was it good.”
Twilight and Spike shared a Only Pinkie Pie look between themselves.
“Then Pinkamena stormed off. Can you believe that?”
Twilight said, “I bet Sugarcube Corner is a mess.”
“Oh yeah. It’s a good thing the Cakes are in Canterlot, otherwise they’d have heart attacks when they saw the kitchen.”
“Pinkie,” asked Twilight carefully, “did Pinkamena tell you about her past?”
Pinkie rubbed her chin in thought. “No, she was really quiet.”
“So you did most of the talking?”
“Oh yeah. I told her about all my friends in Ponyville, about our adventures, the family on the rock farm, working at Sugarcube Corner – everything.”
Twilight and Spike shared knowing glances between themselves.
“Pinkie, I’d like to tell you a story.”
Her face brightened, “Okay!” She hopped on the nearest chair and sat expectantly.
Twilight began to relate Starlight Glimmer’s treachery, the other dimensions, and Pinkamena’s past life. Pinkie’s bright smile slowly faded, replaced by a deep frown, tearing eyes, and a limp mane....
Bam!!! The tree reeled under the blow, the branches flailing wildly causing ripe apples to be torn from their stems and fall into awaiting baskets. Applejack turned and looked up, noticing one apple stubbornly clinging to the tree. She scowled at the apple and, as if on cue, it snapped free and landed neatly on top of a full basket. Applejack smiled, removing her hat to wipe her brow, before trotting over to the next tree. Rearing her hind legs, she leaned forward to deliver the next powerful buck –
“Hello!”
Applejack’s concentration broke and she lost her balance, falling face first into the ground. Spitting out dirt, she moaned, “Ow.” Quickly she scrambled to her hooves and let loose a torrent, “What in tarnation! What were you thinkin’ sneaking up on a... pony....” Her words died in her throat as she saw the pink alicorn glaring at her, and instantly Applejack fell into a bow. “Pardon yer highness. Ah didn’t know it was you.”
Pinkamena’s scowl turned into a smirk, “Finally, a subject that knows proper royal etiquette.” After a moment to savor the reverence, she commanded, “Rise fair – uh – what is your name?”
Glancing up, she replied, “Applejack.”
Rubbing her chin with a wingtip, Pinkamena mused, “That sounds familiar. Well, rise fair Applejack.”
“Thanks. And if’n it sounds familiar, it’s because we’ve been in the papers – me and my friends.”
Pinkamena returned a blank stare.
“Uh – Elements of Harmony,” supplied Applejack.
Again a blank stare.
“Defeat of Nightmare Moon,” she elaborated.
Still a blank stare.
“And Discord. Bridesmaids at the royal wedding a few moons back. And the defeat of Tirek. Any of this ringin’ a bell?”
Sighing, Pinkamena said, “I am afraid not.”
“You should talk to Twilight. She’d be happier than a flea at a dog show to give y’all a lecture on it.”
More to herself than Applejack, she muttered, “Yes, I’m sure she would.” Turning back to the pony before her, Pinkamena asked, “Tell me Applejack, what are you doing?”
“Oh this?” she asked, motioning to the apple trees bare of fruit. “Well, Ah’m applebuckin’.”
“Applebuckin’?”
“Eeyup.” Noting the alicorn’s confusion, she explained, “It’s how we harvest apples. We’re earth ponies, so we ain’t got no fancy unicorn magic and we cain’t fly up to the apples like them pegasi.”
“Yes, I can see your point. I imagine it is a good way to relieve pent up frustration?”
“Well, Ah’d be lyin’ if Ah said Ah hadn’t gone out applebuckin’ a few times to work off mah anger. Especially after some of the stunts mah sister an her friends ’ave pulled.”
Motioning to the trees, Pinkamena asked, “May I?”
“Of course.”
Applejack stepped aside, allowing the alicorn to approach the next tree. She reared her back legs and thrust them backwards. Wham! A number of apples fell into the baskets, but many remained on the tree. Pinkamena frowned.
“Now don’t ya worry. It takes time tah learn to applebuck right. Ya just have to hit the trunk squarely in the middle.”
Pinkamena reared again. Bam!!! The tree shook again, and very quickly every last apple fell into the baskets.
“Now ya got it!”
Smiling, Pinkamena asked, “May I applebuck a few more trees.”
“’Course. You go right ahead, Ah need to take haul the apples back to the barn. Ah’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Applejack hitched herself up to the wagon as Pinkamena sized up the next tree....
( ( ( | ) ) )
The now empty cart bounced along the old, rutted farm path, no longer weighed down by hundreds of large red apples. Applejack pulled the wagon off to the side and unhitched herself before trotting down the row of trees where she’d left the alicorn only a half hour before. Every tree was bare and the baskets filled to the brim with apples. But the pink alicorn was nowhere to be found. She paused, rubbing her head in confusion. Bam! Applejack turned and walked over to the next row, her jaw dropping as she saw every single tree applebucked, the fruit laying scattered across the ground. “What in tarnation?” Bam!! Applejack hurried to the next row but found it the same. Bam!!! Applejack raced to the fourth row and found Pinkamena rearing back before another tree. Bam!!!! The tree shuddered, and all the fruit fell onto the ground. “What’s goin’ on?” the cowpony demanded.
Looking up, Pinkamena greeted with a smile, “Hello Applejack.”
“What are ya doin’!”
“I am applebucking. Is something a matter?” she asked, cocking her head as she approached Applejack.
“Well, you’re buckin’ the trees alright, but there’s no baskets ta catch all the apples. Now Ah ’ave to pick them all up.”
Gazing at the mess left in her wake, Pinkamena sheepishly replied, “Oh. I must have... been caught up in the moment. Do not fret, for I can fix this.” A pale blue aura surrounded all the apples and levitated them into the air. “Where should I put them?”
( ( ( | ) ) )
A few minutes later the wagon overflowed with apples, while a dozen filled baskets stood ready nearby. As Applejack hitched herself up for another run to the barn, Pinkamena levitated the baskets into the air. “Thanks for the help,” said Applejack as she began pulling the cart.
“My pleasure,” replied a smiling Pinkamena as she fell in beside Applejack. “Applebucking has proved to be a great way to relieve frustration and anger. I may be doing this quite a bit in the future.”
“Well, y’all certainly seemed more relaxed. But if Ah can ask you a question, what got ya so worked up in the first place?”
Her bright smile faded. “I met Pinkie Pie,” the last two words said with biting disgust.
“Pinkie Pie? Well, Ah can understand that. She can be a hooffull at times and sometimes Ah think she’s a few apples short of a bushel.”
“I have never met a pony so obsessed with parties... and baking... and fun,” she said, shaking her head.
“Well, that is how she got her cutie mark. She threw a party for her whole family.”
Thunk! Th-thunk! Thunk! The baskets fell to the ground, spilling the apples everywhere. Pinkamena stood there, her eyes wide and mouth open.
“Somethin’ a matter?”
“Her family,” Pinkamena whispered.
“Are you okay?”
Snapping back to the moment, Pinkamena shook her head. “I am very sorry,” she said as she hurriedly gathered the apples. An orange hoof caused her to stop.
“Would ya like to talk about it?”
She inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly, deliberately. “Yes.”
“How ’bout we take a seat over yonder,” Applejack suggested, motioning to the shade of a large apple tree. She helped Pinkamena over and the two sat in silence for a while.
At last, the alicorn said, “I never properly introduced myself. I am Princess...” She hung her head low and closed her eyes, “...Pinkamena Diane Pie.” Applejack remained quiet. Looking up into the cowpony’s eyes, Pinkamena asked, “I am sure you noticed the similarity that Pinkie Pie and I share?”
“Well,” Applejack began, “Ah did think ya looked like an alicorn version of Pinkie Pie. You are what Ah’d expect, ’cept the straight mane. But Ah saw y’all’s cutie mark,” she said, motioning to the sword and shield on the alicorn’s flank, “and realized that ya weren’t the same pony.”
“No, we are not. I come from another Equestria. I am sure you know that Princess Twilight Sparkle has travelled to other worlds before?” Applejack nodded. “I helped her defeat one Starlight Glimmer and save this world. But in the process my world was....” She trailed off, gazing into the distance.
“What?”
“Destroyed.”
“Destroyed? Then y’all’s family and friends –”
“No.” She turned back to Applejack. “My family was lost long ago, during the war against King Sombra.”
“King Sombra? That unicorn from the Crystal Empire?”
“Yes. In my world, he conquered most of Equestria. I lost everypony I ever cared about, and became an alicorn for my sacrifice. And now I am alone in this world.” Tears trickled down her cheek, and she brushed them aside. Taking a deep breath, she stood up, “I am sorry to unload my burden upon you. I do not expect you to understand –” She found herself in a tight hug from Applejack. Momentarily taken aback, she raised a foreleg and returned the embrace, burying her head into the earth pony’s fur.
Finally parting, “Applejack said, Ah may not have gone through everythin’ you have, but Ah know what it’s like to lose family members.” Now it was Applejack’s turn to glance away as she sat back down.
Pinkamena took a seat opposite her. “Would you like to talk about it?”
“Not much to tell. Ma gave birth to mah sister, Apple Bloom. But it was hard on Ma, and she passed that night. Pa took it real hard. He died a few weeks later. Doctors said it was a heart attack, but Ah always knew it was from a broken heart. Over the past few years mah brother Big Mac and Granny Smith and me ’ave had to raise Apple Bloom.”
“I am very sorry.”
“It’s alright. It happened so long ago... but still gets me sometimes.” She wiped her eyes.
The two sat in silence for a while.
Applejack finally turned to Pinkamena. “You know yer wrong?”
“Come again?”
“Ah said yer wrong.”
“Pray tell,” irritation rising in her voice.
“Yer not alone.”
She paused. “How so?” Pinkamena asked, her voice again calm.
“Well for starters, you’ve made one friend today.”
“Are we friends? We just met.”
“Ain’t no time requirement to becoming friends.”
Pinkamena smiled. “It has been so long since I had a friend. Being ruler of Equestria, I had to keep a certain distance between myself and the subjects. I suppose... that is moot now.”
“And...,” Applejack finally said, “yer not goin’ to want to hear this, but there’s also Pinkie Pie.”
Pinkamena groaned and rubbed her head. “Tell me why I should put up with her.”
“She’s you. If you had been in this world, you’d be her. An’ if she spent time in your world, she’d be you. Ah think ya have more in common than ya realize.”
“But she is so... irritating.”
“Maybe. But she’s also carin’, an thoughtful, an always there fer a friend.”
“What is her Element again?”
“Laughter.”
“Laughter,” Pinkamena said derisively. “How is that important? How does that help with survival and keeping order?”
“There’s more to life than just survivin’. When you see the smiles she puts on ponies’ faces, and how happy she makes them... well, ya realize just how important laughter can be.”
Pinkamena stared back.
“Look, Ah ain’t sayin’ that ya have ta spend time with her, or even like her, but ya need to make yer peace with her.”
Pinkamena sat for a while, pondering her words. Eventually, she turned to Applejack. “Perhaps.... Could.... Would you help me?”
Twilight turned to Pinkamena, “Are you ready... again?”
She turned to Applejack, who gave an encouraging nod. “Yes.”
Ding-a-ling! rang the bell over the front door as the three entered Sugarcube Corner.
“Pinkie?” called Twilight.
“Sugarcube, ya here?” hollered Applejack.
The door to the kitchen swung open, revealing Pinkie Pie wearing dirty clothes as her hoof wrapped around the handle of a mop. “Twilight! Applejack! Pink –”
Pinkamena stepped forward, “Hello Pinkie Pie.”
Pinkie Pie approached the alicorn and stood silently before her counterpart.
“Pinkie, I wanted to say I am sorry –” She stopped as the earth pony took her in a tight embrace.
“No, I’m sorry. I had no idea what happened until Twilight told me. I should have been a better listener.”
Pinkamena returned the hug. “And I should not have lost my temper. Would you like help cleaning up?”
Stepping back, she said, “Yes.... And maybe you can tell me more about you?”
“Of course,” said Pinkamena, following her counterpart to the kitchen. “And perhaps later, you can show me how to bake a cake.”
“I’d like that.”
The two disappeared into the kitchen.
“I hope things go well,” said Twilight, anxiousness pervading her voice.
