Dear Thorax, You're a Dork, but I Guess I Love You Anyway
It happened in a blur. In one fell swoop, Thorax found himself forcibly knocked off his hooves and sent tumbling to the stone floor. Amidst the chaos, a flash of shimmering wings passed his peripheral, but the identity of his assailant eluded him.
Thorax tensed in anticipation of another strike as he squinted up at the figure now looming over him. It wasn't until a familiar voice reached his ears that his tension drained away, replaced by vexation.
"Well, imagine that. Just the changeling I was hoping to run into. You really shouldn't lay on the ground like that, Thorax. You're bound to become a safety hazard."
Thorax let out a hefty sigh. "Hey, Pharynx. Do I even want to know what you're up to?"
Pharynx passively examined his hoof with a growing grin. "What's it look like? I finished the afternoon routes early, so here I am. I have to report to you anyway, so I thought I'd see what you were up to before my squad starts the next shift."
Thorax narrowed his already skeptical eyes. He pressed his hooves against his brother's carapace, and for an awkwardly long moment, the room was filled with audible grunts of effort. When Pharynx swayed a mere half-inch before settling back into place, a tinted blush touched the alpha changeling's cheeks.
Pharynx's teeth gleamed in the afternoon sun. "That was a remarkably pitiful attempt, Thorax."
"So your idea of checking up on me is pouncing on me like a tiger?" asked Thorax, ignoring the comment. "I can't help but feel like there are less severe ways to greet me, Pharynx."
"That's a pretty hilarious response coming from you, Thorax. I seem to recall someone always complaining about how I never spent enough time with him when we were nymphs. 'Pharynx, why don't you ever want to play with me? Pharynx, won't you let me hug you once in a while? Pharynx, how come you don't wanna hear about my extensive rock doll collection?' Ringing any bells? The whiny voice is spot-on, by the way."
Thorax grumbled and looked away. Unsurprisingly, their commotion had drawn the attention of their hivemates. Colorful eyes peered at them curiously from every corner. Thorax did his best to avoid them.
"Very funny, Pharynx. Yes, I've always wanted to spend more time together. I'm actually surprised to hear you mention that out of nowhere. This, however, is not us spending time together. This is just you spending time on top of me."
"Same difference," Pharynx countered. "I'm in your vicinity, and time is passing around us, is it not?"
"Well, sure, but-"
"That's checkmate, Thorax. We are, in fact, spending time together."
Thorax shook his head in resignation. He winced as he tried to readjust his position, seeking to alleviate the sensation of small pebbles stabbing into his neck, but it was no use. From the look on his brother's face, the hard stone floor and its discomforts were just as amusing as the predicament itself. He struggled again in frustration. His gossamer wings were trapped underneath his body, and his back hooves were also locked in place.
With a bonk of his head against the ground, Thorax settled for meekly holding his hooves to his chest, unsure of what to do with himself. He met his brother's smug expression with a sheepish one.
"You know, I didn't think inconveniencing me was still your thing, Pharynx."
"Well, you thought wrong. Picking on you is an obligation, not a hobby, Thorax. King or no, you've been fair game since you came back to the hive."
Thorax beamed. "But I've been back home for a while, Pharynx. Why am I only now getting subjected to this? Haven't you had ample opportunity before now?"
Taken aback, Pharynx widened his eyes before abruptly shifting them elsewhere. "What do you think this is, some play date on a schedule? Don't read into it so much. I'm messing with you on a whim. Also, remember that I've been busy reteaching the hive how to defend itself after you let everyone slack off, so no, I haven't exactly had the time to mess with you, lately."
It was Thorax's turn to put on a sly smile.
"I could just shapeshift into something and get you off me that way, you know," he challenged.
"Spare me," Pharynx retorted. "Don't pretend we don't both know I'd just become something bigger and pin you again."
"You realize I was kinda in the middle of something, right?"
"No, you weren't."
"Yes, I was, actually."
"What, trotting around the hive, looking for charity?" Pharynx chuckled. "What was it this time, Thorax? Waiting for someone to need you for something, or waiting to be invited to something once someone spotted you through the door?"
Thorax's confident look wavered. "No, I had to-I was just checking up on everyling! Noon activity hour just started, so I thought I'd make sure everyling was getting along okay."
"That's funny. Here I thought hive security and patrolling was still my job." Pharynx flopped himself upon his brother's chest, eliciting a grunt. "You know, the job I already finished doing and came to report to you about?"
Growing increasingly flustered, Thorax fumbled with his words and avoided his brother’s stare.
"Well, I was just seeing how everything was going. The theatre troupe is performing an excellent play this afternoon, so I thought I might take a peek and-"
"Aha! So you were just looking for a reason to shirk off throne room duties, then." Pharynx relished his brother's incredulous face. "You know, Thorax, sneaking off and making excuses is more trouble than it's worth. It also makes you look desperate."
"Is there a point to all this, Pharynx?" Thorax snapped, his blush feeding off his rising temper. "Yes, I was bored and snuck off, okay? Can you blame me? Lately, I feel like I sit on that oak throne all day, dealing with politics and keeping up correspondence with the other kingdoms while everyling has fun and, honestly, it's been lonely. The drones don't need my help running activities anymore, and you and the guard changelings have patrol routes again. I hardly have anything to do at home now that isn't somehow related to that...darn throne."
Throughout his rantings, Thorax adopted the shadow of a pout. Pharynx's own eyes flickered, his aptitude for scolding fed generously by his brother's foalish plight.
"You've always been like this, Thorax," he began calmly. "You crave inclusion more than any changeling in the hive, to the point of getting depressed when you feel left out. You try to cope with that by being productive, but then you blatantly forget to think about yourself and what you really wanted in the first place. So then you get upset again when you realize you're missing out on things. It's frustrating to watch."
Thorax's magenta eyes flared to life. A spark of magic raced up the curvature of his antlers. "Did you pin me to the floor just to make fun of me?"
"Of course not. I pinned you to the floor because it was funny. And I wasn't making fun of you, twit; it was a relevant observation. Literally no one but you gets so distressed, so easily from not being around others all the time. It's laughable you're even putting yourself through this in the first place."
"I hope you realize how bad you are at getting to the point, Pharynx," Thorax stated flatly. "And how you're usually the one telling me that sort of thing. If all you're going to do is bring up my shortcomings, then maybe I should just take a nap here until you're finished."
Dead silence rang in the air.
"...You're awfully testy today, Your Majesty," Pharynx sneered, at last. "You oughta loosen up a bit, maybe listen to everything I have to say before you go running an attitude. But hey, if you're really stupid enough to push me while you're in this compromised position, I'm only too happy to play along."
Thorax opened his mouth, but no further remarks came. An uncomfortable wave of tingling had begun to spread throughout his body, bringing about a deep breath and an uncontrollable series of giggles from within. Ears and eyes snapped to attention from all around the room as Thorax began to convulse, with snorts and sharp laughs dotting his incoherent sentences.
"P-Pharynx, wh-at are you d-doing!?"
The elder changeling curled his lip. His hoof was skating along his brother's exposed underbelly. "I dunno why you keep asking me questions you already know the answer to, Thorax. I'm not gonna waste my breath on a touchy grub. Unwind first, then get back to me."
Thorax laid there helpless, his back legs kicking the air violently. He rapidly shook his head and bit his lip in an attempt to stifle his laughter. Any chances he may have had to shapeshift had now plummeted with his focus lost in an adrenaline haze.
He watched the blues and reds of Pharynx's carapace meld through tearful eyes. He let loose an emphatic chirp as his struggling intensified. His brother's hoof had taken to relentlessly pursuing his sides.
"P-Pharynx, I hi-ghly obj-ject to th-is!"
"You object to it?" Pharynx repeated, his smirk turning sinister. "But look how much your mood has improved, already."
"P-Pharynx, I-m ser-rious, k-kno-ck i-t o-ff!"
"I can't understand you, Thorax. What's so funny?" Pharynx’s smirk turned into a toothy grin when Thorax failed to grab his foreleg. "I sure hope those aren’t regrets that you're having. Any brother of mine ought to have known exactly what he was getting himself into whenever he asked for my undivided attention."
In a fit of desperation, Thorax finally managed a shapeshift, and a dazzling sequence of transformations unfolded. The changelings were engulfed by flickering green flames, revealing monsters, mammals, birds, and insects of all shapes and sizes. The beasts tossed and turned over one another in an incredible display of color, motion, and sound. Limbs and tails flailed about, dispersing clouds of dust in waves.
Despite his best efforts, Thorax had nothing to show for it. For every new form he took, Pharynx outdid it like clockwork, firmly maintaining his hold of the younger changeling every time, be it through claws, paws, talons, or mandibles. It didn't take long for the zoological spectacle to vanish within the flames for good and leave the pair on the stone floor, back where, and what, they started.
"Since we're in the habit of repeating ourselves today, I guess I'll go next," Pharynx stated, continuing to harass his brother with a skating hoof along his chitin. "That was a remarkably pitiful attempt, Thorax."
By now, Thorax had lost all manner of composure as he twisted and flailed about in his brother's grasp. Small tears had formed in his eyes, and his carapace vibrated from his frantic wings feeble attempts at escape. A cocktail of emotions raced through him like an electrical surge. Pharynx observed his hoofwork with an insatiable grin, all too clearly enjoying himself.
The younger changeling wasn't getting out of this through force. That much had become clear.
"P-Pharynx, p-please stop!" Thorax begged in a rasp. "The whole hive i-is w-watching us!"
"You say that like you have some kind of reputation to keep up." Pharynx looked towards the group of spectating drones. "What a show, am I right? I can't wait to hear about this for weeks in the hallways!"
"Pharynx!"
Thorax hadn't the vantage point to notice, but the chamber was now filled to the brim with changelings. Those few who had initially overheard the commotion had since been joined by dozens of others, summoned by their king's violent display of emotions which radiated through the hive like a siren. Many drones looked on with benign amusement, invested in their hive leaders' play like a theatrical comedy. They whispered and chattered and giggled to each other without shame.
"You do realize this sort of thing is your reputation already, right?" Pharynx continued, leaning over his prey with a glint in his eye. "You thank drones for helping you out by giving them hugs, Thorax. Hugs."
"I'm j-just sho-owing ever-yling I c-care!"
"You started a safe space, opted to look after the hive's nymphs regularly by offering to be their playmate, and introduced an entire creative renaissance to a hunt-and-patrol species. Bold and impressive, even if you did end up needing my help to balance it out in the end."
"Y-you-r'e having w-way t-too mu-ch f-fun w-with t-his!"
"Oh, and let's not forget that title the nymphs have taken to calling you, now. 'Papa Thorax', was it? It’s saccharine enough to make me sick."
"P-Pharynx, s-st-op, I-I can'-t br-breathe!"
The antics of Pharynx's hoof came to an end, and Thorax gulped the cool air his lungs so desperately sought. When the weight bearing down on him lifted the monarch ventured to stand, coughing and gasping. He looked up suddenly to find a plethora of faces watching him, taking careful note of the warmth reflected in each face. It was a fondness entirely separate from the amusement towards his situation he had heard only moments before.
"If we're honest here, Thorax," Pharynx said, breaking the pause and walking up to his brother's side. "You're a complete dork who floundered around when you first adopted this hive. You're overly emotional, covet reassurance through affection and avoid confrontation at nearly all costs."
Thorax's wrath simmered just beneath the surface, but Pharynx merely gave him a knowing smile.
"Ironically enough though, those things are what help make you the relatable leader the hive needed after Chrysalis. It's a shame you seem to forget that."
Thorax froze mid-thought. He was now mesmerized by the gentle look residing on his brother's face, something entirely alien to him. When Pharynx gestured his head, Thorax shifted his gaze, and he was once more faced with that ocean of beaming changelings.
He was all at once overcome by a wave of love, a force that engulfed his body and restored every bit of the energy he had lost.
"Don't worry about what Pharynx says, Thorax. I love your hugs!" a cyan drone called out. "For me, they make me feel like I have a special connection with you!"
"Yeah, and I love all our activities!" a yellow changeling added. "I used to be really nervous about transforming, but craft time has given me such a creative outlet. I feel great now!"
"The nymphs aren't the only ones who enjoy spending time with you, Thorax, we all do!" a third, deep crimson female stated. "Maybe you can find more time to join us? You're always so good at theater and crafts!"
Thorax met each changeling's smile individually, speechless. Just seeing them so full of glee warmed his chest, as did their sentiments.
Pharynx suddenly spoke up. "If you'd have let me finish earlier, you'd have found out that 'the point' was up and coming. You said you've been feeling lonely lately due to throne duties? From changelings 'not needing' you for this or that, anymore? Please, Thorax. I hope it sounds as stupid coming out of my mouth as it did to me coming out of yours. Your primary duties are the changelings. Them, this hive, and its well-being. You are, and always will be, relevant."
"...Pharynx, I-"
"If you don't like sitting on that throne, then own that, Thorax. The other kingdoms, politics, pony tea parties, and events—it can all just deal with being a second priority. Your first priority is right here, looking after us by being the sickeningly talented caretaker that you are."
Thorax swallowed. It was a dry, empty feeling that left his throat feeling scratched. He was a weak, exposed nymph again, receiving a lecture from his intimidating big brother. But for all the shock holding his body still, Thorax's lip quivered. Familiar as those hard-set eyes were, the vote of confidence spilling forth was not.
"And I'll tell you something else; I'm not about to interrogate you about your anxiety regularly. You know full well that all you ever have to do is come find me if you need someone to talk to, so I expect you to do it. I don't care what I'm doing; I'm never too busy to listen. You might as well take advantage of it, Thorax, because I'm not going anywhere."
Little more than a spectator on an emotional rollercoaster, Thorax felt hot tears running down his face. Pharynx's form and reserved smile blurred from view, and he felt his legs shake.
"Pharynx, you..."
Clenching his eyes, he rushed forward and grabbed Pharynx.
Flashes of past attempts to embrace his brother filled Thorax's head—the nightmares, fear, and loneliness from his nymphhood, all met with cold apathy. But as Thorax’s tear went down his brother's carapace, he could already feel the difference. No hoof pushed him away, and no disgusted tone reprimanded him. Without a word, Pharynx had made him feel welcome. He was comfortable and felt safe.
The chamber, once ringing with joyous laughter, now echoed with an isolated sob.
"P-Pharynx, I-I don't know what's changed, but I'm… I'm so thankful for it."
Pharynx silently placed a hoof along his brother's back with a tolerant smile. He cocked a brow at the ongoing sobs, which grew more erratic by the second. "Reassurance through affection. Leave it to you to prove my point almost immediately after I bring it up, Thorax. What are you talking about? What's so drastic that you need to cry on me in front of the entire hive?"
Thorax unearthed himself from his brother’s shoulder just enough to speak. "F-for the first time you're starting to sound like a supportive older brother, Pharynx."
The changelings around them adopted sympathetic looks. Many of them began to tear up, themselves, overwhelmed by their king's raw emotion. A few more took to advancing towards the pair, ready to offer themselves up in any way, should they be needed.
But it wasn't his doting changelings that Thorax observed. Pharynx's face reflected odd tranquility. Even the familiar smirk was somehow different.
"If you were any sappier, you'd be sprouting branches out of your head instead of antlers, I swear," Pharynx chuckled calmly. As Thorax continued to lean on him for support, Pharynx shifted his stance, firmly holding the distraught changeling in one foreleg. "I've always looked out for you, Thorax, in one way or another. Sure, maybe I kept my distance because I've never been the sentimental type, but I've always cared."
"I know that," Thorax answered immediately. By now, his sobs had been quelled, but the sniffles continued.
"You know, you should be thanking yourself, Thorax. You're the one who found an...admittedly more efficient way of life, against all scrutiny. You're also the one who never gave up on me." Pharynx’s smirk had faded, leaving only a sobering look. "Making an effort to give you a bit more of my attention is probably the least I can do, considering all you've done for us, and for me."
Thorax adamantly shook his head. "The least you could do? I-I've never wanted anything more from you, Pharynx, you know that."
Pharynx's face grew sullen. He blinked, and for the faintest of moments, looked down to see a coal-colored nymph gazing back at him. Tears ran down its tiny cheeks, and it stared at him with somber eyes. Even when Pharynx closed his own, the nymph remained, curling itself into a ball as it continued to cry alone in the darkness of his eyelids.
Only when Thorax squeezed him tighter did Pharynx's eyes open again, returning him to reality.
"...Yeah, I guess I do know that," Pharynx muttered, subtly laying his chin on his brother's head. "I'm sorry, Thorax."
"F-for what?"
"It took you overthrowing a despot and getting crowned king for me to figure out how to act like your older brother, or at least the one you needed. I realize you could’ve used that a long time ago."
"N-no, don't apologize," Thorax responded. "You said it yourself, didn't you? I've always known you cared about me in your own way. I'm just...surprised, that's all. I'm excited at the prospect of seeing you more often, of actually spending more time together. I just-I never thought you were interested before. Honestly, that's the only reason I've never brought it up. I always figured I'd be bothering you...like I did when we were nymphs."
Pharynx's pensive look deepened, but his attention snapped back to Thorax. "I take it that's why the only time I ever seem to see you lately is when it's no-nonsense, hive-related business?"
Thorax donned a timid look and nodded. Pharynx let out a labored sigh, giving a sweeping glance to the observing changelings surrounding them.
"Alright, the show's over," he announced, pulling himself away from the tender moment and taking a few authoritative steps forward. "You all got to play a part in helping Thorax feel better, and get a little soap opera about terrible communication to boot. Get out of here."
The chamber echoed with resounding whines of disappointment. To this, Pharynx slammed his hoof to the floor, bringing about calm again almost instantly.
"I don't wanna hear it. Half of you probably have somewhere else to be right now, and the other half definitely do. If you'd all like me to take a closer look around the room and start calling you out on your slack individually, I'm game. I guarantee if any of you are on my evening patrol squad, we will be having words later, because guess what time it is?"
The crowd went silent. A few eyes darted about, and changelings began to take flight in droves.
Very soon, the brothers found themselves alone in a quiet void, just as before. Neither of them budged a hoof for quite some time. More than once, Thorax opened his mouth in an attempt to relieve the tension, but he stopped each time.
"...Um, Pharynx?"
"Yeah, what?"
"You seem thoughtful. Are you okay?"
"Sure, let's go with that."
"Are you sure?"
"Uh-huh."
"But, you-"
Pharynx turned his head so quickly that Thorax jumped. "Don't tell me you still want to talk about feelings, Thorax. Beneficial or not, unearthing all of that nonsense is not what I signed up for today. And I'm expected to keep a patrol route on track after this? Swat me now."
Noting the return of his brother's typical tone, Thorax felt his composure relax. He quickly joined Pharynx as he set off towards the chamber's exit. "You don't have to talk about your feelings anymore, I promise. But I do want you to know how much I appreciate you for doing it. And you know what? I think the patrols could get by for one evening without you. Why don't you take a break?"
"Not a chance," Pharynx dismissed. "We've only been working these routes for a week. They'll wind up in the dragon lands if I don't hold their hooves for a while."
"Oh come on, I'm sure they're not that bad."
"You always seem to miss how aloof the drones can be, Thorax. You're always too busy fawning over how much they enjoy your sappy group activities and feelings circles."
"Feelings forums," Thorax corrected. "And while that might be true, by the same token, I feel like you're really strict with them, maybe too often. You were really intimidating back there."
"Well someone has to put their hoof down. It sure isn't gonna be you, not with how much you dote on them. They got away with almost anything when you were running this place alone, Thorax, because you were never firm with them."
As the pair came to a hallway, Thorax grinned. "Well, I guess that makes you the 'no fun' hive parent then, Pharynx."
Pharynx promptly stopped, glancing back with a newfound sneer. "Oh, I'm plenty fun. In fact, I just took up a new hobby, and I think it's even funnier than making you hit yourself used to be."
Without warning, the beta changeling feigned a jolting motion, as if to tackle Thorax yet again. On cue, the alpha let out a shrill gasp and gave a little jump before staring blankly back at Pharynx, who immediately fell into a fit of hysterics.
"That's not funny, Pharynx," Thorax chided, yet unable to keep himself from giggling as well.
"Of course it is. With one tackle I've got you completely conditioned!" Pharynx laughed. "You look like a spooked deer, Thorax, antlers and all!"
Thorax blushed again. He watched his broodmate closely. A playful fire in his stomach had been stoked, and this time, his confidence would win out.
With Pharynx's guard dropped, Thorax took a leap of faith and charged headlong into his brother's side, bowling him over in an instant. Together, the changelings tumbled to the floor, and Pharynx gave an uncomfortable grunt as Thorax fell across his chest. For a moment, the two sat in stunned silence. Pharynx's shocked look gave way only after Thorax raised his head to face him.
"...Did you really just do that?"
"Wow, at this angle, you kinda look like the little brother, Pharynx," Thorax simpered.
Pharynx’s mouth flattened, and he rolled his eyes in a long, slow arc. "Oh, how original. Laugh it up, go ahead, have your moment, Thorax. It won't last long."
Thoroughly enjoying the irritable grunts he caused by readjusting himself, Thorax ventured a brazen look. "Oh, and why's that?"
"Because while you may have more bulk than me, weight isn't everything."
Thorax cocked his head, watching that flatline become a twisted smirk. Pharynx had called his bluff, and suddenly, he didn't feel so confident anymore.
"A valiant effort, Thorax, but ultimately a pitiful one. We both know you don't have the strength or reflexes to keep me pinned, extra bulk or not. Allow me to demonstrate."
Even from his confined state, Pharynx kicked his brother with the strength of a battering ram. Thorax let out yet another gasp and was briefly made airborne before crashing down on his back. He blinked to find Pharynx's smug grin peering down at him. The tables had turned yet again, and all too suddenly, Thorax found himself back where he started.
"You said you wanted to spend more time with me, didn't you?" teased Pharynx. "Good, so that means I can start dragging you to combat practice in the morning. You can try and develop those twigs you call legs, and maybe someday you'll actually be able to hold me down for more than five seconds. Till then, I have to reiterate that this is way funnier than making you hit yourself."
Thorax sighed and allowed his head to fall back against the floor. Even with his brother's weight restricting his breaths and the verbal jabs teasing his resolve, Thorax came to enjoy the hallway's relative peace.
When he looked up again, Pharynx's face had vanished from view. Shocked, Thorax raised his head to find him, but instead found a small black nymph standing stolidly atop his chest, staring at him with frigid violet eyes. A section of the young changeling's ear was missing, and a shaggy red tail drew behind his flank, matched by a weathered fin across the back of his neck.
Even as the epiphany crossed Thorax's face, the nymph remained still as a statue, holding him captive with an expression as dark as any earthen crevice.
"...Thorax, what are you looking at?"
Thorax blinked, and the apparition disappeared. His brother's hooves filled his view once again, and so Thorax looked up to find Pharynx keenly observing him.
By stark contrast, those violet eyes now reflected confusion, even benign concern.
"Nothing, Pharynx. I'm just happy you're here, that's all."
Pharynx tilted his head, his concern evaporating into puzzlement. "You're...what? What's that look for? You just spaced out for a second, and now you're getting dangerously close to talking about feelings, again. What's going on with you?"
Thorax watched the sun pass through the room's upper windows. Though every ounce of his dignity lay surrendered, and his energy had again been lost to him, he still found a reason to grin through it all.
"It's just like you said, Pharynx: time is passing by us, together," he said with a goofy smile. "Even if we're doing nothing at all, I'm happy to be spending time with you. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate this before. I guess I assumed you weren't serious. I know better now."
Thorax's expression lit the room all by itself, but those rays fell short of appealing to Pharynx's impartial stare. Neutral as it stayed, however, even Pharynx couldn't quite tear himself from the sight of his little brother, brimming with a contagious bliss.
"...Okay, just so we're clear, I was mostly joking before. Only you could actually find a way to sentimentalize me sitting on you for sport, Thorax."