> Chaotic Cute > by JazzyWaffles > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > My Little Prologue - Existing is Fun! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pop! That's the sound I made when I arrived. I didn't really arrive from anywhere. At least, I don't think I did. I just sorta plopped out from between the fat rolls of reality. And boy, did reality need to go on a diet of some kind, or at least get a check-up. Things were crazy out here! Rivers of what appeared to be Marmite-flavored soda (no, I'm not sure how I could tell just by looking) leaped over houses. The houses were floating upside-down. Also, they were made of what at first looked like candy but, upon tasting, turned out to be expertly crafted oat bread. Plus, they looked about a hundred years out of date. I had no idea what "in-date" was, but they definitely looked old. It was at this point that I realized I was floating. I smiled and giggled. It was a girly giggle. Was I a girl? Floating is fun! But eventually, floating got boring. I wanted something fun! And then, almost as if in response to that thought, a cute bunny appeared in front of me. A flying bunny! It had cute little moth wings that probably shouldn't have kept it afloat. On that note, when did I get this root beer float? Tossing it aside to enjoy some other time, I focused back on the rabbit. Chittering and making other noises I'm pretty sure bunnies didn't make, it flew circles around me. It was honestly pretty adorable. "Bunny!" It stopped in front of me. "Wanna play?" The bunny hopped up and down on thin air (somehow) and squeaked enthusiastically. The next few hours were filled with plenty of fun games like tag, catch, O&O... and also Monopoly, but we don't talk about that anymore. That one got heated. But eventually, the bunny had to leave, for his people needed him. And, after a whopping twelve minutes of fun with the bun, I was once again alone. How had several hours been crammed into twelve minutes? I guess time really does fly when you're having fun. Looking to my side, I saluted to a tiny winged clocktower, and it saluted back with its spoon arm. What a strange little creature. Had it appeared because I thought of time flying? I giggled at the idea. This world was pretty strange! Floating along a bit longer, I noticed a bunch of weird cute four-legged things running around in panic, being chased by plastic clouds with bat wings, giant sporks that rained ducks, and all other sorts of strange things. I wiggled my legs experimentally. I had four of those too! Was I a four-leggy thingy like the panicky ones down there? Could they float too? Did they flip-flop their way into ceasing to unexistalize, like I did? I needed to know! Seeing no reason why I couldn't, I decided to cease floating in the air, and instead exit the flower pot I was hiding in. I hadn't been hiding in it before, but I decided it'd be cool to make an entrance. Jumping out in front of a weird four-leggy thingy that seemed to be awful anxious about something, I beamed. "Hiya!" "GAH!" The four-legs jumped and yelled, before covering her mouth and looking around, all scared-like. "Whatcha all spooked about?" I asked curiously. "D-don't be so loud," she whispered, "they'll hear and then I'll have to run again!" Quieter this time, I whispered back, "Oh, okay... why are you hiding?" "Are you kidding? The world's gone completely crazy," the mare, still looking around, whispered, "and I got chased by a pack of fur-eating dinner plates. I am not doing that again!" Her eyes finally landed on mine, and they dilated like crazy as she backed up a couple of shaky steps. "Y-your eyes..." I tilted my head, blinking. "My eyes?" I looked around and was rewarded with a small mirror floating by. Grabbing it in my... appendages? I brought it up to my eyes. "Woah!" They were all purple-ish and swirly. "Pretty..." Actually, I was pretty. All pink and cute, with some nice violet-y hair! Hair. Mane? No, it was called a mane. And she was wearing some kind of hat? It had a spinny-flapper thing on it. Cute! I toyed with the spinny-doodle for a few seconds before the (relative) silence was broken finally. "Um..." The mare from before was staring. Mare? Yeah, that sounded right. "Whoopsie!" I giggled, tossing the mirror away, which plopped into the road and sunk to the bottom. "Sorry, I got distracted. Were we talking?" The mare seemed to relax a little. A small smile. "You're weird, but you're not half as bad as the other stuff out there." She held out her front-left leg. "I'm Aurora." I tapped my... hoof? To hers. "Hi, Aurora!" I smiled brightly. A pause. "Um..." The mare looked uncomfortable. I tilted my head. "What?" "Aren't you... going to tell me your name too?" My name? I don't have one, do I? Aurora was a pretty name. She also had a pretty picture of a rainbow and a sun on her back leg. Auroras were like rainbows, right? Maybe my butt had a name-picture, too! I looked back, seeing an image of a baseball, and a screw. "Uh... Baseball Screw?" I tap my chin. "No... no that sounds dumb. Ball... Screw... Screwball?" I smiled, turning back to the mare and jumping enthusiastically. "I'm Screwball!" The mare switched to a confused concern. "D-do you not remember your name? Oh, you poor thing!" I tilted my head. "I dunno. I'm only nineteen minutes old. I think I'd remember if I got named in the last nineteen minutes." I shrugged nonchalantly. Ooh! I like that word. Nonchalant. It has a nice Cadance to it... er, cadence. The mare's eyes widened again, like when she saw my pretty eyes for the first time. "W-what? I... you mean you can only remember that far back, right?" She gave a hopeful smile. I frowned, frustrated. "No? I mean what I said. Nineteen minutes ago the air went all 'ka-poof' and I finally stopped un-being!" I nodded definitively. The mare started shaking again. "Th-that's around when things went from kind of weird to just plain crazy... w-when all of the monsters..." Her breathing became ragged, and she stepped back shakily, eyeing me like a lamb would eye a wolf, if a lamb were smart enough, that is. "Y-you... what are you?" I could feel my ears droop as I answered her. "I'm... a whatever you are! I... I think?" The mare simply shook her head in fear and fled. I slumped visibly. "I'm sorry." I didn't really know what I was apologizing for, but I felt real bad for making her sad. I lie there on the ground, moping, for the better part of a few minutes. And then I heard a big, booming noise. Looking up, I saw a big rainbow of light exploding out from somewhere nearby. Everywhere the light touched, things started to look... normal? Definitely normal. I didn't know how I knew, but that was normal. And I wasn't normal. As the wall of light approached, I began to panic. Would it make me normal, like Aurora? Or would it...? I began to hyperventilate. I remembered what Aurora said. I started to exist when things got weird. So if things got un-weird... I turned and ran. I ran, and I ran. I ran until my legs gave out. I ran until my lungs stopped working. I ran until there was no ground left to walk on and then kept running. I ran until I hit a brick wall and then ran right through that, too. But I couldn't run fast enough. As the burning wall of death swept over me, I could only scream in pain as my body felt the wrath of existence reasserting itself on me. Darkness. > Chapter 1 - I Have Weird Dreams... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I ran down the corridor, terrified of the horrible monster behind me. No matter what, I could not escape. It would eventually catch me. I could feel my body slowing down as it only got closer and closer. I really, really, really shouldn't look behind me. Despite my own advice, I looked behind me. I screamed. ... Sighing, I began to construct a wall as if nothing had happened. Nothing had happened, after all. I wasn't even sure why it occurred to me that anything weird had been occurring before I was wall-making. As usual, I was making the wall out of pipe organs. Reed organs just didn't cut it in terms of wall-making, though chord organs came close. Obviously, I had to build this wall to make sure the Huns wouldn't invade. Disappointing that it was so hard to make a wall using these clumsy tentacles. I wish I had hands instead. I also wish I could just go buy walls. Did they have a market for walls somewhere? I'd love to visit a wall mart. A voice broke through to me and I stopped building. "Though we have spent nary a year yet back in Equestria since our return this past solstice, We dare say this may be the strangest and least cohesive dream we have entered thus far." Blinking and turning to the speaker, I saw a big blue unicorn with wings. She was pretty tall. A lot taller than I was, actually! Also, she was really pretty, with weird flowy hair. How did her hair flow like that? I didn't feel a breeze or anything. Was it some kind of magic? Probably. I smiled and waved at the tall unicorn. "Hi, there!" "Hello, young one." She smiled. "We were called to thine dream because it called out to us like a nightmare, and yet..." She looked around. "We see no nightmares here. Were we perhaps too late?" I shrugged. "I dunno. I was gonna build a wall out of pipe organs. Wanna help?" It was at this point that I realized I was me again. When did I start being a four-legs again? For some reason, when the blue lady got here, I realized stuff I didn't before. Like, why was I in a white void with pink clouds? And why was I making this wall again? The reason escaped me, but seemed silly in retrospect. "Actually, nevermind. I'm not sure why I was doing this to start with. Are dreams normally like this?" However, before she could answer me, I gasp and bounced over to her, smiling. "I totally didn't introduce myself! My name is Screwball. Who are you?" "We are Princess Lu-" "Well, that didn't work." A young, boyish voice broke through the grogginess. Who...? "What the hay? My wake-up spell shouldn't have failed! I checked her for magical interference and everything. She isn't even injured! Nothing should be preventing her from waking up!" Another voice, a bit higher up in position and pitch. Wake-up spell? Was I asleep? I remembered a blue horse, and an instrument or something... but as soon as I tried to remember, the thought escaped me. Oh well. Upon the first attempt to open my eyes, I had to immediately shut them. The sun was there. I don't remember the sun being that bright when things were weird. I wish it would stop being that bright. "Urgh..." I groaned, trying to move my body so I wasn't looking directly at the sun. "Turn it off, too bright..." "Huh, she's awake." "Ha! My spell did work!" Flopping onto my side so I wasn't staring a giant fiery fusion ball directly in the schnoz, I opened my eyes to see four purple hooves and a small purple... lizardy thing? I honestly had no idea. "Is this waking up? I don't like it. Make it stop." I groaned. "Well geez, talk about rude," mumbled the little lizard boy, before a hoof gave him a quick corrective nudge. "Ow! Hey!" Looking up a bit, I could see the purple one... the horse that is, not the lizard... man, I needed better words for them. The horse had a horn, so... unicorn? That worked. The unicorn was giving the lizard a glare before her eyes softened and she looked down at me. "Are you okay, little filly? We found you out here in the Everfree, and... why were you even sleeping out here? Don't you know it's dangerous here?" "I... no?" I strained myself to stand up. I felt... I guess drained? Like a sponge that had only ever known wetness that suddenly found itself mildly damp beside a kitchen sink. It was upon standing up that I noticed something. Was this mare really big, or were me and Aurora small? I had been eye-to-eye with Aurora earlier... was she a filly too, then? That only made sense. Shaking my head, I kept talking. "There was all this crazy stuff everywhere, and the houses were made of bread, and I played Monopoly with a bunny, and Aurora was mad at me, and then this big wall of light..." The reality of the situation caught up with me. "I'm... alive?" The unicorn looked... worried. "You're alive, yes..." She turned to Spike. "Do you think she's talking about...?" "Yeah," the little lizard replied, sounding just as off-put as the unicorn. The unicorn seemed to consider something before shaking her head and smiling down at the filly in front of her. "Let's get you back to Ponyville. Can you walk?" I nod. "Yeah. I was floating earlier, but I can walk too." Ponyville, huh? Weird name for a place. Did they also have places like Rabbit Town or Unicorn City? I'd have to ask later. The unicorn and her lizard looked a bit taken aback. The lizard opened his mouth, but thought better of it and remained silent. "Right," the unicorn said. "Let's get you to town, then." She began to walk, then paused. "Oh!" Turning around, she held out her hoof. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, by the way. And the baby dragon over there is my number-one assistant, Spike." The dragon in question almost immediately puffed up in pride at that little bit of praise. It was actually kind of cute. She did say he was a baby though, so I don't think I'll be developing a crush on the little dragon any time soon. That would be super weird. "Nice to meet you, Twilight and Spike." I smiled and tapped my hoof to hers. "I'm Screwball." > Chapter 2 - Are We There Yet? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As I walked through the forest (yeah, apparently I was in a forest when I woke up) with Twilight, Spike riding on her back, my mind was brimming with questions. And by that, I mean that I was asking questions in an endless barrage, much to Twilight's dismay. Finally, about a minute into my tirade, she placed a hoof on my mouth and took a deep breath, sighing. "Okay... just... ask one question at a time. I can't answer if you don't give me time to answer. Okay?" I nodded, and the hoof was removed. "What's a Discord?" I really needed to know. I didn't know why, but I had the distinct feeling that someone had asked me about a Discord, and I had no idea what one of those was. "Discord is the spirit of chaos and disharmony. He's the one who made everything go crazy like you were describing earlier. We were able to defeat him then, and now we've..." She paused, considering her next words. "...somewhat reformed him. Though honestly, I'm not convinced." Her expression soured. "Ohhh... okay!" I nodded, and the three of us continued down the forest path. So Discord was the guy who created all that nutty stuff. And... also me? Does that make him my dad, or my mom? He might be both. But actually, that just reminds me of another question I had. "Why were you two acting all weird earlier when I talked about Discord doing his weird magicky chaos stuff?" Twilight went completely mum for several seconds and glanced over at me worriedly. "Well... it's just..." She went quiet again, prompting Spike to roll his eyes and answer for her. "That happened over eleven months ago." Twilight instantly shot him a dirty look. "What? She was going to find out eventually, might as well get it over with," the dragon huffed. Twilight sighed, conceding his point. "I hoped I could break it to you in a more... tactful manner, but yes. It's nearly been a year." "Woah..." I internalized that. A whole year! That shiny death wall must've hit me pretty hard. Then another thought occurred to me. "When's the anniversary? Of the Discord stuff?" Twilight blinked, a bit surprised by my reply for some reason. "Uh... in a week, I think. Why?" I broke out into probably the biggest smile I'd had thus far. Only a week away? I jumped up and down excitedly and ran around Twilight, squeeing. "It's almost my birthday! It's almost my birthday!" I'd never had a birthday party before! In fact, I don't think I'd ever had a party before, on account of only being awake for like... thirty minutes total, ever. For some reason, thinking about the fact that I'd never had a party before sent a shiver down my spine. Why did that feel so ominous? Also, I could swear I heard a distant, yet still audible "WHAT?!" Twilight didn't seem to notice, though, so I decided it was probably my imagination. Twilight just stopped walking and stared at me, not really sure how to respond to that. "Uh... well... that's... good?" She gave a half-smile. "Eeyup!" I giggled, not really knowing why I found my reply funny, before continuing down the path and hopping right into to my next question. "So, how'd you get a dragon assistant? Is that normal here?" I honestly kinda wanted to know how a unicorn (or maybe pony? It was called Ponyville, after all) and a baby dragon had gotten to be close-knit like these two. I mean, you've gotta be close-knit to let someone ride on your back, right? I wouldn't let anyone ride on my back. Huh, when did we get so close to the forest's exit? Weird. I didn't notice that. Twilight trotted after me. "Oh! Well, I hatched his egg as part of my entrance exam into magic school." I gasped. "Oh my gosh! You're his mommy!?" Being a dragon's mom sounds like something worth mega huge brag points. Like, 'don't mess with me, my kid's a fire-breathing dragon!' "What? No! I mean, yeah, I helped the egg hatch, but mom and dad did the raising. I was only ten at the time!" Twilight seemed rather taken aback at the idea of being the dragon's mom. "Yeah," Spike amended, "I'm not too keen on the idea of her being my mom either. Her mom's more like my actual mom." "Ohhhh, so you're brother and sister! Got it." I nodded, satisfied with my observation. Twilight stopped again, and I had to stop with her. "I... had never really considered that before." She looked back at Spike, who looked equally surprised. "I mean... I guess we are kinda brother and sister, aren't we?" He scratched the back of his head with a claw awkwardly. "Man... I guess we just... never thought too hard about that?" I giggled and bounced a few times. "Tu hermano es un dragón! ¡Que padre!" The two just stared back at me, confused. Twilight was the first to respond. "Are... you from Mexicolt?" I shook my head. "Nope! I was born..." I looked a bit ahead of us and to the left. "About two miles that way." Not really sure how I knew that, but whatever. Twilight looked in the direction I was pointing. "Er... the Ponyville General Hospital?" "Nope!" I continued prancing down the road, Twilight and Spike following. "Where are we going?" "Well, if you've been gone for almost a whole year, we're gonna need to go down to Mayor Mare's office to see if we can't find your paperwork and see if we can get you back with your family." She looked sad. "The poor ponies must be worried sick!" I tilted my head, thinking. "I don't think I have one of those family things." Twilight somehow managed to look even more concerned. "Well... either way, we'll need to do something about your family. If you don't have one, we'll have to find one for you." Woah, a whole family? I'd never had one of those before. I could only hope they'd be as cool as having a dragon for a brother. Ooh, maybe I'd get adopted by a dragon! "Do you think I'd get adopted by a dragon?" Twilight broke out into laughter. "N-no, Screwball, I don't think so." Seeing me frown, she smiled and put a hoof on my back as we walked. "Hey, don't worry. I'm sure whoever you end up with, they'll be just as cool as a dragon." Spike huffed. "I dunno, that's a pretty tall order." A quick scowl from Twilight changed his tone. "Buuuuut, you know, I'm sure your new family can manage." Twilight and I both giggled, and we continued on our path to the mayor's office. I felt like, whatever came next, it would be a good thing. Except... I still couldn't shake that ominous feeling about parties... > Chapter 3 - Ward of the State (Whatever That Means) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sitting in a chair in the mayor's waiting room, my legs dangling off the front as I slumped back, I blew a boredom raspberry. Is that what those are called? Where you're bored, and you just sorta... 'pbbbttt'? If not, that's what they should be called. Or maybe a rasp-bored-y. I like that one. Twilight had gone in to talk to the mayor forever ago (so, about three minutes ago), and I'd been left out here so they could do boring grown-up paperwork stuff. Not that I was interested. Glancing around, I spotted a mirror on the far wall, and... something about it looked off. Hopping off the chair, I trotted up to the mirror, examining it closely. What was so weird about that reflection? The room looked the same. I had the same hair, fur, shape... "Wait, what?" I stared at myself in disbelief as I realized what was so messed up about the mirror-me. It was my eyes. They weren't swirly anymore. When did my eyes get normal? Did the big shiny death wall do that? That... probably explained why Aurora reacted to my eyes, but Twilight, Spike, and the mayor didn't. Actually, thinking about it, that wasn't the only change. Ever since I woke up, I'd felt... low on fuel, for lack of a better phrase. Not really empty, but close. It was like having a super long neck, but then suddenly it became a short one. Except, not? It felt more like... I dunno, like a big part of me that was there before was mostly gone. What was it? What was almost gone? "Hiya!" "Yipe!" I jumped backward and landed on my back in surprise, only to see a pink mare with frizzy hair smiling down at me. "Uh... hi?" "I'm Pinkie Pie!" "S-Screwball." I flipped over and stood up. "Well, S-Screwball, you are invited to your official 'Welcome to Ponyville' party!" She hoofed over a little invitation with my name on it. Wait... how did she have time to make that if she just learned my name? Before I could ask, the pink pony pronked past all the paintings and professional plaques toward the door. Twilight stuck her head out of the mayor's office door. "Hey Pinkie! Got a minute?" "Yuppers!" Somehow, she was already back in front of Twilight. Did she have powers like me? Twilight hoofed her a paper. "Could you write down when each of these ponies is free and then let them know when we'll be there with Screwball?" "Aye-aye, Cap'n!" Pinkie pulled a pen out of her mane (sticking her hoof in farther than should have been possible), quickly wrote a few times down, and then hoofed it back to Twilight. "All done!" "Thanks, Pinkie." As Pinkie left, Twilight turned to me. "You can come in now, we're done with the boring part of things." "Okay." I cantered over, looking back at Pinkie as she left. There was something I wanted to ask her, but I forgot what it was. The inside of the mayor's office was... well, an office. Desk and everything. Not sure if there's a point in describing it, really. Though I did notice a peacefully dozing Spike on Twilight's back. The mayor, a tannish mare with a very, very faded pink mane (which for all intents and purposes what a light grey), smiled down at me. "Alright, Screwball. After a thorough review of the records and a few letters with the princess, it seems you don't have any record of birth in the Equestrian system. As such, I've decided to take your claim of no family at face value." She cleared her throat. "Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to business." I sang in response. "To defeat... the huns~!" I giggled. I don't know where these little thoughts and outbursts come from, or why I find them funny, but they are. Maybe it's because I was made from chaos? She paused, a bit confused, then composed herself and took the paper from Twilight. "I... don't think so, no." She adjusted her glasses. "We have four potential foster parents here in Ponyville, since we're a rather small town, and cases like this don't come up often. There are also a few from nearby towns, but we'll be sticking with Ponyville for now. You with me so far?" I nodded. "So what, are we gonna do some fancy mayor magic to find out which one I should go to, or is there a timeshare system, or what?" I honestly didn't know how foster parenting worked. That's the step before adoption, right? After another pause, and a giggle from the mayor, Twilight answered this time. "Er... no. You're going to be spending a little bit of time today with each of them, and then you'll make the choice of who you want to be your foster parent. Then, if it works out, and you both agree on it, you'll come back here and fill out some adoption papers to make the whole thing official." Oh! So I was right about it being the step before adoption. Nice job, think pan! "Oh! So it's like... a trial period for the trial period." Twilight snorted. "I... snerk... I suppose that's one way to look at it. Of course, if you don't like any of the choices, we can find someone from a nearby town instead." I beamed. "Awesome! Sooooo... when do we start?" I noticed the mayor scribbling something on the piece of paper Twilight had given her. "We start," the mayor answered, "right about now, actually. Pinkie should have alerted everyone by now, so I don't see the reason we can't head out to the first home on the list." "Er... 'we'?" I glanced over at Twilight. "You're not coming?" She shook her head. "Sorry, Screwball. I've got to get sleeping beauty here home. Poor drake spent all night last night with me helping to set up wards on the Elements." She gestured to the baby dragon on her back, who was out like a light. "Also, I still have a lot of work to do today." "O-oh..." Well, that sucked! I was really starting to enjoy her company, even if I'd only known her for like twenty minutes or something. She gave me a comforting smile. "Don't be like that. I'll be sure to drop by for your party." I gasped. "How'd you know about the party!?" Was she psychic? Was Pinkie psychic? Was I psychic??? Okay so that last one didn't make sense, but still. She giggled. "I opened the door and saw Pinkie finishing up talking to you. What else could it be?" She winked and pointed at my hoof. "Also, you've been awkwardly holding the invitation for the past couple of minutes." I looked down. Sure enough, there was the invitation. "Ohhh... right." Twilight leaned down and gave me a little hug, somehow keeping Spike balanced on her back the whole time. "See you later, Screwball." I hugged her back, maybe a little too tightly. "See you, Twilight." The hug broke, and Twilight walked to the door, waving back at mayor mare as she left. Before long, it was just me and the mayor. Clearing her throat and smiling, she cantered over with the list, now on a clipboard, tucked under her foreleg. "I can carry the invitation on my clipboard if you want somewhere to put that." I gave a sigh of relief. "Oh thank the stars, that got super awkward once I noticed it." I hoofed over the invitation to a giggle from the mayor. "Alright then. Come along, and we'll go to the first pony on the list." We trotted out of her office. "Who's the first pony on the list?" The mayor held out the list for me to see the first name, with the times "11:15 - 12:15" marked under it. "Ohhh... okay!" The two of us walked for a few more minutes before the obvious question finally hit me. "Wait, who's Rainbow Dash?"