Zecora sat quietly in her forest home. She was in a meditative state. She focused on the Everfree Forest around her.
A knock at the door interupted her focus. The zebra sighed and opened her pale blue eyes, "Who could that be? Why am I the one they wish to see?"
She rose and trotted over to answer it. She opened the door to see a pink mare, the Element of Happiness.
"Hi, Zecora!" she smiled.
"Hello, Pinkie Pie. I appreciate the visit, but I'm wondering why," Zecora answered.
"I have been making raps, but nopony else will rap with me. You're the best rhymer in Ponyville, maybe even all of Equestria. I was wondering if you wanted to give it a try?"
Zecora thought, "An excuse to rhyme? That's simply divine."
"I was hoping you'd say that! I was planning a neat diss track against the Sirens," Pinkie Pie immediately got down to business.
"A diss? What is this?" Zecora asked.
"A diss track is a song where you make fun of somepony and talk trash about them," Pinkie explained.
"Okay, I don't know what to say, I have never met these Sirens. Why should I bother then?" Zecora inquired.
Pinkie Pie laughed, "It's really easy. Listen and follow along."
Zecora sat, listening to the visitor's demonstration.
I ain't afraid of no Sirens. I'm gonna play 'em like violins Might be resorting to violence. Distorting Discord until total silence hits. Call me Bon Bon, I'm a spy, it's lit. I can't rely on this, Dropping them all in a bottomless pit. Adagio, your style's bland like Pistachios. Now we know that you're wack. That's just the way it goes, eliminating foes.
Aria Blaze, you should probably run. Dissing these sisters is not even fun. When I'm on the mic, it's a party of one. Spitting that fire like Celestia's Sun. You should retire, I'm second to none. The name is Pinkamena Diane Pie. Check that demeanor, try and hide. You're always so mean, I won't let it slide. Get with the program or be left behind. Don't need no help, in myself, I confide.
Sonata, you got a lot of nerve. You shall remain unheard, you better stay alert. Keep playing, you're gon' get your feelings hurt. That's how it really works, it could get even worse. You won't be harming me, I am an Element of Harmony. Steal your spotlight, that's grand larceny. I'm writing the rules, call me M.A. Larsen. Break you like the 4th wall, add another casualty. Thinking you're a goddess, that's just blasphemy. You can try to chase, but you ain't catching me.
Pinkie Pie finished what she called her 'diss track'. Zecora was fascinated by her rhyming ability, "You too can rhyme? Who knew?"
"Yes, you try!" Pinkie Pie tried to egg her on.
Zecora thought for a moment, "A strangle feeling is within, I don't know where to begin."
She looked confused. Pinkie smiled and nodded, as if to say 'keep going'.
Zecora sat quietly, thinking of what to say next. She cracked a smile. She was quite annoyed with Pinkie Pie for disturbing her, so she directed her word towards her.
Pinkie, this hardly takes talent. Vacate, you're upsetting the balance. Make haste before my distaste becomes malice. Gryphon grip, I got this game in my talons. I'm climbing mountains, then dropping an avalanche. You do not stand a chance against me. Evil Enchantress? I can be. Evil dances, no, but I can sing. Put you in trances, you don't understand me. Zecora's the name, I don't think you can handle me.
Pinkie wasn't fazed by the shots being thrown at her. She smiled and said, "Wow, Zecora, you're pretty good. See? I knew you would be."
Zecora sighed. She was hoping the annoying pony-shaped wad of chewed bubble gum would leave after that.
"Seeing as you won't leave, I suppose I can reprieve meditation," she said.
Pinkie Pie giggled, "I didn't mean to bother you. I was just trying to see if you would like to rap together. We can go all over Equestria showing everypony our mad skills."
Zecora gave in and agreed, "Fine. I suppose I could use time to unwind. I'd still hate to leave the Everfree behind."
Pinkie shrugged, "Fluttershy can watch over it for you, she's great with animals. I'll go tell Vinyl Scratch that you're in on the idea. She's our producer, we can't rap without beats."
Zecora raised an eyebrow, "Beats?"
Pinkie nodded, "Yes. It's the background music that you rhyme over. It's just like singing a song, except you focus more on the rhymes. You can really get creative with them."
This piqued Zecora's interest, "Fascinating, I suppose there's no time to be wasting."
"Our first appearance onstage will be here in Ponyville at the Night Mare Night celebration. I was thinking of doing a cypher. I say a line and then you rhyme with the last word and we go back and forth until the beat ends," Pinkie explained.
Zecora nodded, "I'm glad you explained it because I don't think I could've retained it."
Pinkie laughed, "Well, I'll quit getting on your nerves. I'll tell Vinyl you're interested in going with us. See ya Zecora."
"Bye, Pinkie Pie," Zecora opened the door for her. Pinkie Pie exited and closed it behind her.
Pinkie Pie returned to Sugarcube Corner. Vinyl Scratch was there, sitting at a table, eating a cupcake.
"Vinyl! Just the mare I wanted to see. I wasn't expecting you to be here. I got another pony to join our rap group," Pinkie smiled.
Vinyl Scratch stopped mid-bite and looked up, "Who?"
"Zecora, the zebra who lives in the Everfree Forest," Pinkie answered.
"Really? She rhymes every time she opens her mouth, she's probably the best rhymer in Equestria," Vinyl replied.
"She said she was interested in performing at the Night Mare Night show in 12 days. That gives us a couple more weeks to come up with ideas," Pinkie informed her.
"Oh, that'll be fun. I look forward to having her tag along," Vinyl smiled.
Pinkie Pie giggled, "Woah, that's good. It sounds silly."
Zecora listened intently, "I dunno if I can do this. Making rhymes that fit the beat will be quite the feat to accomplish."
Pinkie shrugged, "Just follow my lead, you'll be fine."
Back up in the SCC just doing my thing. A real dirty MC when I step in the ring. I can be nice, but I'm capable of ending your dreams. Sometimes I go overboard and I make it extreme. You don't stand a chance against PP and her team. Think you really funny, but unworthy I deem. You heard me, creative with the words, see? Send it off to my mare Zecora, She spits nightmares for ya.
Zecora was ready this time and added this:
I am here to reveal what is real. You can't deal with the zeal. Armor made of steel, every word's a highlight reel. Each letter stamped with Celestia's seal. Betcha they're jealous, can't see how they feel. I'm blowing up like Pompeii by Bastille. Another 4th wall break, this truly takes skill. These other rappers ain't fitting the bill. I'm like Eminem, every shot is a kill. Won't like what's said, but a fan you are still. Eating this beat just like it's our last meal. Send it off to Vinyl, final spitter in this cypher.
Vinyl Scratch wasn't planning on saying anything, but she practically jumped at the opportunity:
DJ PON-3 with the Z and Pinkie. Quite frankly, these other MCs are just stinky. That sounded foolish, but I spit that cool ish. Discord is a tool, kids, Cozy Glow won't do spit. That's what I'm deducing, this beat I'm producing. I'm too confusing, y'all's brains are contusing. Hear a lot of talk, how 'bout do something?
Gon' get your heads smashed like pumpkins. All I hear is mouth, better hit the ground runnin'. I don't play around, fool, I do my own stuntin'. All their punches fall short like they're bunting. Out here kicking flank just like I'm punting. Trust me, nopony wants to hear you runts sing.
Adjusting the rhythm, spit that venom then I'm crushing. Always rushing, you can't stop my momentum. Y'all got empty brains, cuz there ain't nothing in 'em. These shots, I'm sending 'em, I'm too relenting, son. This fire's never-ending, recommending that you run. We're always on the grind, our work is never done. Attack y'all from behind, best believe we left you stunned. White face in the hood just like the Conjuring nun.
Speaking of race, I run this place just like Usain Bolt. Y'all got no taste in bars, you sound out of place like Lars. If I lay waste to just one of you, nothing else matters. Make haste, tell the others what I've done to you. Can't you see we're sonning you? Real ones right in front of you.
Make way, the real MCs are coming through. We're too OP, how could we look up to you? Must not know me very well, y'all too soft. Guess we can tell you Cottonelle, cuz you caught an L. Producing for these artists, I got clientele. Taking care with each one, I know my clients well. The only one I disown is Machine Gun Kells.
Pinkie sighed, "Vinyl, quit hogging the mic, let me get this last 30 seconds real quick."
Vinyl cut the beat, a disgruntled look on her face, "I gotta hog the mic cuz you won't let me get it otherwise. When Zecora let me have that mic, I had to show what I got. Cuz you act like you're the best out of all of us when we're all just as good, if not better, than you."
Pinkie shook her head, "I never said you two weren't good. The whole reason I brought y'all here is so I wouldn't have to do this by myself. It's more fun to do this with your friends. the idea was to have all 3 of us spit a 16. You stole this beat and murdered it tho, that was awesome."
"Of course I'm gonna murder my own beat, I produced it. Remember?" Vinyl laughed.
"Yeah, that's true," Pinkie nodded.
Zecora waited for them to finished, looking noticeably annoyed, "Why did you distract her focus? She was doing well, that's a fact and you know it."
"I know it is, I just really wanted to go again," Pinkie giggled.
"Y'all had your turns. I appreciate you having my back, Zecora," Vinyl retorted.
"Anytime, I always enjoy a good rhyme," Zecora replied.
"Pinkie, I think she should get the last 30 seconds, since she's the newest member, she did good for her first time rapping over an instrumental. It'll be good practice for her to get some more time," Vinyl attempted to convince Pinkie.
"That makes sense, actually. I'm good with that. Hit the beat from the part I stopped it at and we'll let her get the last few bars in," Pinkie agreed.
Vinyl obliged to the request and started the beat back up. Zecora finished with:
Dearly departed. You thought I was done, but I'm just getting started. Call me Snake, these rhymes are Solid, but my flow is Liquid. By my friends, I've been lifted, like Luna, so gifted, I'm granting these wishes. I'm digging these ditches to bury y'all in 'em, please stay off my hitlist. I'm sorry, but I cannot leave a witness, I'll be begging PC for forgiveness. Rest assured I'll put wack rappers out of business. The game is basically women talking down to their children. Better know your place, I'm off the dome, there's nothing written. Keep on playing with Zecora, then she'll make sure you're smitten. Last chance to chill, please don't make no bad decisions. If you can't take the heat, then please exit the kitchen.
"Zecora, that was awesome! I can't wait 'til next Wednesday, they are not ready for us. Instead of the cypher idea with just you and me going back and forth, we need to get Vinyl in on the action because she did a great job too!" Pinkie was ecstatic.
Zecora smiled, "If that's what you want to do, I'm in. I'll gladly come through."
"Happy to hear it, I'm gonna need another beat. I was thinking of making something ominous, since it's Night Mare Night, but I'm not sure how it's gonna sound yet," Vinyl said.
"You got a whole week to come up with something, I'm sure you can do it," Pinkie encouraged.
"Thanks, I hope it sounds as good as you think it will," Vinyl replied.
"Good Luna, this one slaps. I can feel the vibrations in the floor," Pinkie giggled.
Zecora smiled and nodded in agreement.
"I'll spit something to it, to see how it sounds," Vinyl said.
"Okay," Pinkie replied.
Zecora sat, patiently waiting for her to begin.
When the beat dropped, Vinyl started rapping:
PON-3 come through, I am haunting your crew. Taunting y'all like: "What the buck you gon' do?" Task of taking me on is a daunting one too. Flaunting my rhyming skills, I speak the truth. Jealous 'cause y'all can't produce. Well, it's obvious you're too obtuse. Bemused and confused, it just leaves me amused. Believe me, you gon' up end up on the news. I make it cool to be rude, you're just a tool to me, dude. Ain't nothing new to me, I spit these eulogies. I'm too sick, I got a new disease. I am outdoing these foes.
Vinyl cut the beat off, a smile on her face, "I love this one. Wanna hear the other two?"
Pinkie smiled, "Sure, you did great!"
Zecora nodded in agreement, "Let it run, I want to try the next one."
Vinyl put on the second beat, which sounded like this:
Zecora liked the more relaxed sound to it, "This is very nice, I believe it should suffice."
Pinkie chuckled, "Spit something!"
Vinyl reset the beat and Zecora began to take her turn:
I've been employed destroy this beat. Toying with fools til they accept defeat. Please back off, I suggest that you retreat. I may be a Zebra, but I come through with heaters. They call me Nas, cuz I'm spitting that Ether. None of these MCs as good as me either. I am quite the strange creature. Taking their souls like the Grim Reaper. Acting like foals cuz they're bottom feeders.
Vinyl cut the beat off, "That was good, Zecora."
Zecora smiled, "Thanks."
"I guess I'll spit over the last beat," Pinkie said.
"Alright, sounds good, let me put it on," Vinyl swapped disks again.
The third and final beat sounded very familiar, but Pinkie couldn't quite put her hoof on it:
"I swear I've heard this before, where have I heard this?" Pinkie tapped her chin with her hoof.
She listened to it a little longer, "I can definitely do something with this. I might do my own track with this beat. I love it. It sounds really silly," Pinkie contemplated.
"Let's hear it," Vinyl smiled. Zecora nodded in agreement.
"Here we go," Pinkie began to spit her verse.
Once upon a time, not long ago. There was a filly about to grow. But her scheme failed, as I knew it would. Now she's stuck in Tartarus for good. So these silly little fillies, they were misled. By an innocent face with malice in her head. Like: "Me and Tirek, we're gonna fix the past." "Just answer my letters, we'll succeed at last." Hey, Discord, would you like to plug in this cord? There's no way anypony can be this bored. Cozy Glow, you know you're about to get floored. Cuz she blows, and her blood's about to get poured. Gotta turn the E rating to a T for spilled gore. Why you keep tryna mess with me for? Rest assured, you'll be in Tartarus for sure. Ain't nothing left but pain for you to endure. Attitude's poor cuz she's a piece of manure. Go figure, how could she have been so immature? Better lower that temperature, cuz you no longer have expenditures.
Cozy Glow, oh, Cozy Glow You are wack, that's all we know. Attack again, you're dead for sure. Please spread the word, I know you heard.
Cozy Glow, oh, Cozy Glow I bet you can't even flow. How far down does Tartarus go? I had to ask, cuz I don't know.
Vinyl cut the beat off after Pinkie spit her verse, "Why do you always turn your verses into diss tracks against past enemies?"
"I feel like they'd be afraid to face us again, especially since I got access to pens," Pinkie rhymed.
Zecora gave an approving nod, causing Vinyl to laugh.
"I don't know which beat to pick. I like the first one 'cause it shakes the whole building when I bass boost it," Vinyl said.
"I like the second one, it's easy to run with, and I don't have to think a ton," Zecora added.
Pinkie sighed, "I liked the last one 'cause I still feel like it goes to a song I heard before, I'm proud of my version, if it isn't the original. Don't get me to lying. My Pinkie Sense is rarely wrong, but it has been before."
"Well, we all like each beat. How are we going to pick?" Vinyl asked.
"We can flip a bit, that's how I make most on the fly decisions," Pinkie giggled.
"Well, that would work, but there's a third option, not just two," Vinyl pointed out.
"Oh, right, I forgot. This makes things a little more difficult," Pinkie's smile didn't fade.
"We'll have to narrow it down somehow," Zecora shrugged.
"We need a third party opinion, since we can't decide ourselves, maybe somepony else can pick for us," Pinkie suggested.
"Good idea," Vinyl replied.
Zecora nodded in agreement, making it a unanimous decision.
"I just thought of something," Vinyl Scratch said.
"What?" Pinkie Pie looked up.
"We don't even have a name for our group," Vinyl pointed out.
"Oh, I never really thought about it," Pinkie laughed.
"For us to gain fame, we must give ourselves a name," Zecora said.
"Another decision we still have to make is the beat we're going to use at the Night Mare Night celebration," Pinkie reminded her friends.
"Hey, what about Ponies With Attitudes?" Vinyl suggested.
"That's an option," Pinkie smiled.
"Maybe Insane Mare Posse?" Zecora chuckled.
"That could work," Vinyl nodded.
"Oh, I got it. You ready?" Pinkie giggled.
"What?" Vinyl raised an eyebrow. Zecora sat silently, waiting for an answer.
"We're the Illogical Mathematical Hypothetical Numerical Lyrical Crew," Pinkie laughed.
"That's ridiculous. Why would anypony call themselves that?" Vinyl couldn't help laughed.
Zecora shook her head, but smiled as well.
"What about P-Unit? P for Pony," Vinyl thought aloud.
"What else would it stand for?" Pinkie asked.
"Look, do you wanna keep this E rating or not?" Vinyl gestured upward for some reason.
"Oh, yeah, that's right," Pinkie laughed.
"Naughty By Nature?" Vinyl thought.
"You and I both know that name's already taken," Pinkie scowled.
"I know, but I like it though," Vinyl sighed.
"P-Unit will work," Pinkie said.
"Okay, I'm fine with that," Vinyl agreed.
"Agreed, now a beat is all we need," Zecora said.
The three mares unanimously agreed to call their trio P-Unit.
"Shouldn't we have individual names too?" Pinkie asked.
"Yeah, I'm DJ PON-3, I'm already known in this business 'cause I produce for other artists," Vinyl replied.
"I'll call myself The Pink Menace," Pinkie giggled.
"I like it. Zecora, what about you? What's your rap name going to be?" Vinyl asked her.
Zecora though for a moment, "I'll stick with Z since it rhymes with PON-3, it's more convenient."
"Fair enough. A lot of words rhyme with Menace, so we'll be fine," Pinkie smiled.
"Okay, glad we got that taken care of. Now the three beats I showed y'all a couple days ago, we need to pick one," Vinyl said.
"No need to panic, I said I'd go with either one, don't be so manic," Zecora retorted.
"I guess we can roll with that first one since Vinyl liked it so much," Pinkie replied.
"I'm glad we finally came to an agreement on that. Now we have a group name, individual names, and a set beat. We should probably practice with it so we can be 100% prepared on Wednesday," Vinyl was jumping for joy.
Her friends smiled and nodded, prepared to freestyle to it again. It appeared Vinyl was going to use a completely different verse than the one she had spit to it before. She once again volunteered to go first. Zecora and Pinkie decided to keep it in the same order.
Vinyl replayed the instrumental, being sure to turn the bass up to the maximum level. This was the result:
Vinyl Scratch rapped the first verse, which sounded like this: Attention, the beat's been selected. Nothing's protected, I come undetected. I'm infected, like The Walking Dead, it's just a dead end. Hearing all this mumble rap really does my head in. Coming through with my friends and we setting new trends. Tartarus bent on success, can't suppress this progress. Hard pressed to feel stress from these threats. Taking all bets, cashing these checks, I'm too complex. Ain't got no regrets, Pinkie sense too immense, too intense. Plenty of pens to dispense rhymes, P-Unit on the grind. Don't worry, we'll be fine, we do this all the time. Call me Rick Grimes, anger coincides. I'm mad as buck like my son has died. Been a fun ride, but I think I'll go inside. Not satisfied, beat dropped again, run and hide. Spitting verbal homicide, provide internal rhymes this time. Crunching numbers while I'm cracking thunder. Really makes me wonder why I haven't massacred. Clearly, he hasn't heard of what I've done. Better run while I'm still here joking. When I swing, every bone will be broken. PON-3 has spoken.
The beat slowed down a little and Zecora was preparing herself for her verse. When the beat dropped again, she started rapping the second verse and it sounded like this: Zecora got more for ya dude, but ya knew this. You ain't got a clue who my crew is. Rue the day that you got in my way. In the cut now and I'm ready to play. Pray to PC that I don't put bodies on layaway. In the grave, six feet deep, go to sleep. Better not hear a Lil Peep, okay that shot was cheap. Keep playing with me, it's your soul I shall reap. Permanent sheep, admit defeat or I'll control alt delete. You'll cease to exist, you're finished, kid, nopony witnessed. Please stay the buck off my hit list, Zecora the Zebra is vicious. Back at it, verbal murder, it's a bad habit. Run the show like Angel Rabbit, left this instrumental in a casket. Don't get sentimental, please, I'm asking. When I get away, ain't nopony catching. I'm attacking, magic blasting, bodies stacking. Coming at ya fast like "What's cracking?" When you come to face me, fool, you better come packing. It's a fact, I'll come back and we'll do it like that.
The beat slowed down again, giving Pinkie Pie some more time to think of how she was going to finish this song. The beat dropped again and this is what she decided to do:
The Pink Menace is relentless. Coming in swinging for the fences. My wit is endless, I'm leaving you breathless. I couldn't care less if you're blameless. Mess with me, you will die nameless. If you step to me, show some respect to me. Or else I'll be dissecting you, this is my sector, fool. I'll face your whole crew, my name is Pinkie Pie. That's what I do, now you know my point of view. I got issues, some loose screws, but that's old news. I deduce these deuce stains as Mary Sues. Verbal abuse when I step in the booth. I cruise easy, but I'll blow a fuse. Here, let me introduce to this noose. Mess with PP, then you're destined to lose. No excuse, just tryna kick it like Bruce. Please cower, I don't wanna misuse my power. Truth will knock you down like the twin towers. Consider this verse a hearse and flowers for my doubters. I'm too bitter, you don't want no close encounters. I'll expose these herds of cowards Turn 'em inside outwards, time is burning faster. Back up in my element of Laughter.
"That was awesome, I look forward to Wednesday," Vinyl smiled.
The time had come for the trio to make their debut as live performers. They could see the stage set up in the center of Ponyville.
"I've been looking forward to this! I'm so nervocited," Pinkie giggled.
"What?" Vinyl laughed.
"Nervous and excited. I made it one word," she explained.
"Oh. Me too, but I'm ready. Are you ready Zecora?" Vinyl asked.
"I am prepared. I'll be there," Zecora nodded.
"Good, it looks like Trixie is doing a magic act. After she's done, we'll go up," Pinkie pointed to the stage.
The others looked. Trixie held a yellow dandelion flower out to the crowd. With her unicorn magic, she turned the yellow blossom into an actual lion head with a flowing mane. It let out a roar, inciting applause from the crowd it had amassed. She repeated the action and the lion turned back into a flower.
"That was really cool," Vinyl said.
"AND FOR HER FINAL ACT, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE WILL MAKE HERSELF DISAPPEAR. I thank you all for watching my performance. Enjoy the festivities," her horn glowed and a cloud of smoke appeared. When it cleared, she was in the crowd with everypony else awaiting the next performance.
Mayor Mare ascended the stage, "Thank you, Trixie, that was a great performance. Our next one is a musical act known as P-Unit, which consists of local mares Zecora, Pinkie Pie, and Vinyl Scratch. They will be 'freestyle rapping' for us this evening. Please welcome the three of them to the stage!"
"That's our cue," Pinkie skipped over to the stage.
PON-3, with the help of a few members of the event staff got her turntable set up and ready to go.
"Ayy, thanks, guys," Vinyl smiled, setting up tapes.
"Are we still using that instrumental from the other day?" Pinkie asked.
"No, I'm burnt out on that one. I was gonna drop a surprise one and flow to it. Let me get a new beat set up," she replied.
Zecora waited patiently, it appeared the whole town of Ponyville was here. There were some outsiders she didn't recognize as well.
Vinyl had the beat ready, "Alright, everypony ready?"
They responded with a loud, "YEAH!" in unison.
"Okay. I got first verse, then Zecora, then Pinkie. Same order as usual," Vinyl said.
Pinkie and Zecora nodded, getting ready for their turns to rap. Vinyl laid it down and it sounded like this:
When the beat dropped, the crowd went silent, they appeared to be intrigued by how it sounded aggressive and relaxing at the same time.
Vinyl started her verse, which sounded like this: Ripping it, always been killing this. When I spit, venom hits, you know I'm limitless. Sending this track out for Ponyville. This beat will not be my only kill. Spitting that fire, you know we will. P-Unit on top, we got lonely skill. Roll with it, I got a bone to pick- -with everypony in the industry. You ain't as real as me, I am a real MC. Where's the humility? You cannot deal with me. Facing me's an exercise in futility. Guess it's a mystery, I turn wack rappers to history. They're still trying, it don't make no sense to me. Their verses ain't worth no bits to me. I got the better positioning. Nopony's landing a hit on me. This here is greatness you're witnessing. Fear me, I'm weightless, PON-3 is making your playlist. Steady sending shots, but they missed. Daily basis, they can't face this. Time wasted, you're better off copy pasting. Dispatched with haste to lay waste to these wannabes. Do not respond to me or you're a goner. See, the difference between me and you- I'm rocking venues and you're stacking menus. I'm serving lyrics, you're serving critics. I'm too sick with it, I'm quick witted. You're soft like kittens, I'll wear you out like mittens. Keep playing, you will be smitten. Original style, so you know there's nothing bitten. Freestyle off the top, there ain't nothing written. I'll be wild, spitting bars til I'm wrinkled and senile. I beguile and defile and I do it with a smile. It's evident you are not relevant- hesitant to face this Ponyville resident. You resent me? Allow me to present Zecora. Back again to spit nightmares for ya.
The crowd cheered for PON-3, then settled when Zecora was passed the mic. Not wanting to be outdone, she began her verse: Apple buckers try to test me, they must be crazy. Fillies wanna mess with me and things gets messy. They ain't ready, popping these heads like cherries. This Everfree beast is about to unleash her venom. This scum really can't stop my momentum. Here I come, back again to mess with the system. Nothing's more fun than sharing parting words of wisdom. Some bum's tryna question my income. Just ask your mum, I get a lump sum and then some. I welcome everypony to my kingdom, I've forgotten where I've hidden my victims. They were fine at first, but then they started showing symptoms. Blocking all you apple buckers out like prisms. Everything I say causes nothing but schisms. Ain't my flippin' problem if you hate my mannerisms. Spit my flows to confuse my foes like algorithms. Constant criticism causes cynicism, Center stage, got no critics with them. Prepared to engage with my verbal venom. Spin 'em like spider webs, I'll catch you in 'em. Beat snatching your ears so that you will listen. Like we said, there's nothing written. Hop off the top like a trampoline. I'm always taking it to the extreme. Zecora out, I'll let the Pink Menace handle this.
The beat slowed down once again, the crowd went ballistic after hearing Zecora's verse. Everypony knew Pinkie Pie could rap, they had heard her before. They were still curious as to what she was going to say.
The beat dropped a third and final time and Pinkie Pie began her verse: Coming in with new madness. Y'all seem to think I'm out of practice. Using several apparatus to cause disastrous situations. I'll drown you in a basin, Leave you squawking like a raven. Bash your head into the pavement, Engrave my name into your brain. Drain your fluids into the environment, Bloodstains will leave it polluted. You're eliminated, emaciated. You've been assassinated, Alienated, everything you've said was exaggerated. You're conceited, already defeated. Because I'm insane, I bring pain by tying a chain around your neck, Choke you 'til your blue and split your veins for residue. You may have had an image to maintain, But now you're slain. Causing a cataclysm, committing cannibalism. I'll kill y'all one by one, call it individualism.
The track ended and the three mares of P-Unit stood at center stage. The crowd erupted into cheers, all except for one. A stallion in a slick black suit. He was sporting a monocle as well.
He spoke to the mares once the cheering died down, "Good show, everypony. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Rain Mane, I own a label in Canterlot called Spin Records. I came here hoping to find some musical talent at this festival and you 3 are exactly what I was looking for. I was wondering if you'd all be interested in joining us. We'll set up venues all over Equestria for you lot to perform at. Canterlot, Baltimare, Fillydelphia, Manehattan, Las Pegasus, you name it. I'll handle getting your names out there. All you 3 have to do is show up and rap. Real quick, real easy, we'll all be making bits and you will be household names all over Equestria. Does that sound like a good deal or what?"
Pinkie Pie stared at the stallion, bewildered, "This sounds too good to be true. Are you for real?"
"Of course. What would I accomplish with dishonesty?" Rain Mane asked.
"Fair enough. I'm down," Vinyl said.
"If you want to, I'll go along as well," Pinkie agreed.
Zecora raised an eyebrow at the stallion, "I suppose time will reveal if you are the real deal. I'll tag along and then decide how I feel."
"Excellent! I'll get back to you lot soon. Pleasure doing business with you," Rain Mane turned and trotted back into the crowd. He was gone just as quickly as he came.
"Where did he go?" Pinkie scanned the surrounding area.
Nearly two months had passed since the Night Mare Night celebration and the official debut of P-Unit.
Pinkie Pie and Vinyl Scratch were sitting in the dining room of Sugarcube Corner.
"I'm ready to make something new. It's been weeks!" Pinkie sighed.
"Me too, but Zecora has gone back to the Everfree. I haven't seen her since the Night Mare Night celebration. Where do you reckon she is?" Vinyl asked
"I don't know. We need to go check on her. She could be sick," Pinkie suggested.
"Yeah, you're right. We should have already done that," Vinyl agreed.
"Let's go," Pinkie beckoned her to follow and out the door they went. Their next stop was the Everfree.
Upon arriving, they noticed an eerie silence at Zecora's home. They knocked first before entering.
They didn't hear an answer and entered the house anyway. It was spotless. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, yet Zecora was still nowhere to be found.
"Where is she?" Vinyl asked.
"I found a note on her nightstand. It's really brief. She didn't even sign it or address it to anypony," Pinkie said.
Vinyl took the note and read it aloud. It said: Gone to Spin Records. Please come as soon as you can. Trust must be measured.
"That was a haiku. It has a syllable count of 5-7-5. She is really creative and articulate with everything she does. It's incredible," Pinkie giggled.
"I don't know why she didn't tell us she was going to Canterlot. We could have all gone together," Vinyl appeared to be disappointed.
"At least we know Zecora is okay, let's go catch a train and find her," Pinkie exited.
Vinyl followed closely behind. It wasn't long before they were at the train station. Conveniently enough, the next train to Canterlot was boarding when they got there. They acquired tickets and then boarded it. Off to Canterlot they went.
They got off the train and immediately took off toward downtown. They were sure that they would be able to find Spin Records. They took off down the length of Restaurant Row and took a right. All the way at the end of that street was a tall building with a vinyl record sign outside. Spin Records was written in a sprawling red font.
"This has got to be the right place, it's the only Label in town," Vinyl pointed out.
"Let's go find Zecora," Pinkie said, entering the building.
The secretary greeted them when they entered, "Hello, can I help the two of you?"
"Yes, we're P-Unit. Zecora said she was here," Vinyl answered.
"Oh, she's with the owner on the top floor. I'll let him know you're here," she said, paging the top floor.
"They're all here? Great, send them up!" Rain Mane's voice called from the other side.
Pinkie Pie and Vinyl Scratch made their way up to the top. Rain Mane was waiting at the threshold of his office, beckoning them to enter.
"So glad you two could make it, I wasn't expecting Zecora to come by herself like that," he said.
"Neither did we," Pinkie and Vinyl said in unison.
"Peculiar. Come, we have much to discuss, I'll give you both the same rundown I gave Zecora," he entered the room, sitting down in his swivel chair. He rested his front hooves on the desk.
Pinkie and Vinyl sat down next to Zecora. Zecora greeted them, "Good to see you again, my friends."
"You as well, why didn't you tell us you were coming here?" Vinyl asked.
"He seemed like a strange man, I wanted to know his plan. Without putting you two in danger, if I can," she explained.
Pinkie giggled, "What's a man? I feel like you're making up words just to get them to rhyme."
"Hard to explain, different food chain," Zecora shrugged.
Rain Mane nodded, "Anyway, what she's saying is she found out that I have a very high price for fame and fortune here in Equestria. Some are smart about it, others end up losing everything. How the three of you go about it is entirely up to you. My price is, to put it simply, your soul. You cannot put a price on that, so it's the most important thing you have. What I mean by that is, I want to know you three have the time, the willpower, and the dedication to become the greatest rap group in all of Equestria. You may even be the first and only rap group right now. I have only seen a few ponies take part in this genre of music, it is still relatively new."
"So we don't have to sell our actual souls?" Vinyl asked to clarify.
Rain Mane hesitated for a moment, "No, you don't."
"Why did you stop?" Pinkie picked up on that immediately.
"It was just a weird question, it kind of caught me off guard," Rain Mane answered.
"Fair enough," Vinyl extended the olive branch.
"So, do we have an accord?" Rain Mane asked.
The three mares looked at each other and then nodded in agreement.
"We'll go along with it, but if we don't like our terms, we can terminate the record deal, correct?" Pinkie asked.
"Absolutely. We here at Spin Records take our artists needs and concerns very seriously," Rain Mane said.
"He seems genuine. I think we can work with him," Vinyl gave him the benefit of the doubt.
"Very well, but the stench of evil looms in this city. I cannot tell from where, however," Zecora reluctantly agreed, making it a unanimous decision.
"Excellent. Let's head to the studio, you three can decompress with some music. I have an adequate system for producers such as yourself, Vinyl Scratch. I think it will give you a lot more options than a turntable," Rain Mane smiled, gesturing to the room across the hall.
This piqued her interest, "Let's go check it out."
Pinkie and Zecora entered a small room with microphones hanging from the ceiling. Vinyl sat down pushing the dials up and down to test each sound.
"This is awesome," she laughed.
"Hey, let's spit something to that, it sounds good," Pinkie suggested.
"Oh, okay," Vinyl left the beat running and entered the microphone room. Rain Mane sat, making sure the instrumental didn't mess up.
Oh, turn this up, I'm gonna snap on this beat," Vinyl smiled.
Rain Mane obliged and turned up the instrumental. He also turned the volume of the microphones up. Unbeknownst to the mares, he also hit record.
When the beat dropped, Vinyl started her verse: All these wack rappers just obstacles. I am unstoppable, don't call me Ron. I'm Kim Possible, what's the sitch? Ride or die for ohana like Lilo and Stitch. Keep messin' with me, I'm grabbing a switch. I see you're dreaming of streaming on Twitch. I'm squashing bugs like I just found a glitch. P-Unit's unnerving, we deem you unworthy. We see you sent shots, but we're swerving and curving. Had to turn back, cuz we see you ain't learning. On the attack, fool, we will be returning;. I got friends who defeated Discord. Keep messing with me, you'll get choked with this cord. Here in Spin Records, PC is my shepherd. Shall not want fame, but I need it. We run the game, we're untame. We claim the green like our pastures. Messin' with me's a disaster. P-Unit's faster, you're gonna be plastered. Take off in full gallop, you're still gon' be captured. It's me, Pinkie P, and the Spellcaster. In case you can't tell, I'm a rhyme master. Turn all these rappers to ghosts like Casper. I cause disasters, I'm rolling with laughter. Leaving bodies hanging from the rafters. I crush self esteems, watch them scurry and scatter. Better hurry, I'll put you in the ground. Let the beat pound, TKO in one round. Smack em around, vision's blurry thereafter.
Rain Mane was noticeably impressed. Zecora took a few seconds to gather her thoughts. The beat dropped again and she began spitting her verse:
Four legged devil like Tirek. You kids do not know what fear is. Lookin' disheveled, delirious. There is no way that you're serious. Taking it to the next level, it's really simple. Go off the temple, I do not need a pencil. Using my enemy's blood as a stencil. Ain't no defending against me, I'm vengeful. It's clear that I'm evil, what should I repent for? Can't handle me, I'm dismantling beats. Accept defeat, submit to these remarkable feats. Making playlists on a daily basis, no time to be wasted. You cannot face this, best in the business, I can't be replaced. Sherlock Hooves cuz I'm cracking the case. Zecora ain't playing, I'm bout to lay waste. Lit like menorahs, can't follow this pace. You have a bad taste, got no time to make chase. Jumping on tracks, I just blaze. Main one causing the craze, My coat's pearly white like it's glaze. Don't wanna stop, I can do this for days. Third eye wide open, I see through the haze. Know where to go cuz I'm building this maze. Don't like your style, it's corny like maize. Here comes Zecora, she's saving the day.
Zecora smiled, satisfied with her verse. Pinkie Pie prepared for hers. The beat dropped a final time and the third verse sounded like this: Crash through the building, my skills too fulfilling. You know the drill, filly's always been killing. Spilling guts, bloody raw. I'm willing to go far. Cutting lives in half like Gordon Freeman with the crowbar. Rookies better stay back, they don't know who the pros are. We the stars out here, scar lives with fear. Here one minute, then we disappear. Music industry, we will commandeer. Freeze you in place common deer. Seize you, we chase like comets here. Knowledge is power, let me steer your train of thought. Enemies wimper and cower with fear then get plastered.
The beat ended and Rain Mane hit stop on the recording device.
"That was phenomenal, listen to this!" Rain Mane played it for the mares.
"You recorded it? I thought this was just a practice," Pinkie Pie raised an eyebrow.
Rain Mane shrugged, "It was. I just thought you would've liked to hear how it sounded from my end since I was just listening."
Vinyl approached Rain Mane, "Fair enough. I dunno if we wanna release anything yet. We're still relatively unknown to the rest of Equestria."
"That's true. Our anonymity remains an issue," Zecora concurred.
"If I drop this track as a single, I guarantee at least all of Canterlot will know your name. Then everypony will want you to perform here. It's an everything to gain and nothing to lose situation. Are you mares in or out?" Rain Mane coaxed.
"Guess it won't hurt to try. We will see where opinions lie," Zecora conceded.
The other two nodded in agreement.
"We won't know if we don't try," Pinkie said.
"Alright, I guess it's unanimous, Rain Mane. Make it happen for us," Vinyl was the last to give in.
"Good. If you're unknown locally, how do you expect to be known nationally or internationally?" Rain Mane provided a valid point.
"Yeah, that's true," Vinyl nodded.
"I'll handle this, I just need you three to trust me. I'll get to work on making these copies of singles to put on sale. We'll split it into quarters. We all get 25%," Rain Mane offered.
"Yeah, that way you can get a cut for helping us. That's fair," Pinkie agreed.
The other mares nodded.
"Pleasure doing business with you all. I'll make P-Unit a household name, you can bet bits on it," Rain Mane promised.
The three mares left to head back to Ponyville. Rain Mane turned his attention back to the song. He began burning the track onto a bunch of blank CDs he had sitting on the computer desk. He was determined to keep his word. He would not let them down.
Another 2 and a half months had passed. The rap trio had returned home to Ponyville to plan out their next show.
Vinyl suggested Las Pegasus because she had never been there and wanted to have the ultimate party. Naturally, anything having to do with a party would pique Pinkie's interest.
Zecora agreed to go with them and make it a unanimous decision. The three of them stopped and thought about it for a minute.
"Wait, what if that Rain Mane guy tries to stop us? He said something about only finding shows in Canterlot," Vinyl remembered.
"Forget about him, I can go wherever I please. Also, I really don't trust him. I have ideas for our own record label. Two, actually, we can use the same label that Vinyl releases her EDM on or make a new one," Pinkie had clearly been putting a lot of thought into this.
"An idea is forming in me, we could name a new label after the Everfree," Zecora suggested.
"Everfree Entertainment. I like that idea," Vinyl's eyes lit up behind her glasses.
Pinkie nodded, "I don't know why we didn't think of this sooner. Let's go back to Canterlot and tell ol' dude that we want out."
"He is sleazy, something tells me it won't be that easy," Zecora warned.
"He never contacted us about that Next Level single we released. Did he even sell anything? He was only supposed to keep 25% while we split the rest between us," Vinyl pointed out.
"I told you not to trust him. We need to have a talk with him as soon as possible," Pinkie, for the first time in a long time, felt angry.
"We cannot wait, we must set the record straight," Zecora agreed and the three of them left.
They arrived at the train station. They stood waiting for the train to arrive. After a few minutes, the train from Canterlot to Ponyville screeched to a halt.
Ponies were filing out and dispersing in all directions. The last one off that train was none other than Rain Mane.
"Just the stallion we wanted to see," Pinkie greeted, feigning excitement.
"How did you know I was going to come here?" he seemed defensive all of a sudden.
"We were actually about to go see you in Canterlot," Vinyl told him.
He let his guard down, "Oh, well, great minds think alike. I have good news about that single."
"We were just about to ask about that," Pinkie raised an eyebrow.
"I know. Like I said, great minds think alike. It was a smash hit. This one little single has gone Gold in only a couple months. Do you have any idea how hard it was to make half a million of those?"
"500,000 copies? I didn't know there were that many ponies in Equestria," Vinyl was shocked.
"Funny thing is, we were just about to try and make our own label. Everfree Entertainment. Ponyville doesn't have a record label," Pinkie Pie explained.
"I see. I get you a gold selling single and you want to bail on me. I should have expected nothing less," Rain Mane was noticeably annoyed.
"Well, you do other genres besides rap. We were hoping ours could be strictly rap based," Vinyl explained.
"Are you proposing a partnership?" this seemed to interest Rain.
"Yes. We'll still release under your label and you still get 25% of the profit, but we want to record in Ponyville so we don't have to take the train every time. It'll also give local artists a chance to feature, if we can find any that are interested," Pinkie explained.
"It would be easier on all of us to just take them to Canterlot if they want features. You might as well stay with Spin Records. Less of a hassle," Rain Mane coaxed.
"He kind of has a point," Vinyl agreed.
"Our stint with Spin Records will continue, but only if we can choose each venue," Zecora suggested.
"Yeah, that's fine. Pick a place and I'll make it happen," Rain Mane promised.
"We were thinking Las Pegasus. None of us had been there, it'll be a good experience," Pinkie requested.
"I'll see what I can do. We're still a team then, right?" Rain Mane asked to clarify.
"For now. You can wipe the sweat from your brow," Zecora joked.
Vinyl and Pinkie nodded in agreement.
"Good, glad we got that settled. I'll try to get you all a show out in Las Pegasus," Rain Mane turned to see the train back to Canterlot was pulling into the station.
He laughed and said, "Oh, good timing."
He got on the train. A few others joined him and the trained rolled away.
The three mares returned to Sugarcube Corner. They went upstairs to Pinkie's room.
"We need to make an instrumental, but I don't feel like going to Rain's booth. I was hoping for something raw and gritty. Your turntable might be best for that," Pinkie said to Vinyl.
"Okay, let me see what I can do here," she went to her turntable and switched it on. She started messing with the controls, attempting to find a combination that worked.
"I really like that instrumental. We'll definitely use that for the Las Pegasus show," Pinkie was hype.
"I'm glad you like it. I'm looking forward to using it," Vinyl was ecstatic as well.
"Quite the feat, you produced that beat very quickly. It will surely be a treat to see everypony on the edge of their seat," Zecora added.
The next day, they took the train to Canterlot. When they arrived, they headed straight for Spin Records. When they arrived there, the trio was greeted by the mare at the front desk.
"Hey, good to see you three again. Everypony doing okay?" she asked.
The trio nodded in unison.
"Good, I'll page Rain for you," she hit a button and called up to his office.
"They're here? Excellent. Send them up please," his voice replied from the other end.
The trio went up to the top floor and entered Rain Mane's office.
"You three always have good timing. I booked you all a gig in Las Pegasus," Rain Mane smiled.
"When and where does it start?" Pinkie asked.
"Be there by dusk at the Lonely Hearts Club. You'll have to leave here immediately to get there on time," Rain Mane warned.
"Alright, I got this, don't worry about it," Vinyl's horn began to glow.
A light flashed and then boom. They had teleported to Las Pegasus. They were now on this long stretch of road with restaurants and casinos lining each side.
"Woah, this is crazy," Vinyl laughed.
"Which one's the Lonely Hearts Club?" Pinkie asked, scanning the buildings.
"There it is. Halfway down on the left," Vinyl pointed. The three mares took off in full gallop, bobbing and weaving past pedestrians as they went.
A very tall and muscular stallion stood by the door. He stopped the 3 mares at the door, "Can I help y'all with something?"
Vinyl nodded, "We're the rap group that was set to perform. P Unit."
The bouncer looked at the list of groups on a poster on the wall, "Yep, you're all set. Go on in."
"Thank you," Pinkie waved and the three of then entered the venue.
There was another mare on the stage with an acoustic guitar. It looked like she had just gotten done with a song, "Thank you for your time. That was my last one for tonight. I look forward to coming back here again sometime."
A random stallion up front laughed, "You're always welcome. We're very inclusive here."
She thanked him and exited stage right. Another mare's voice came from a circular speaker on the ceiling. "Our next musical performance is a trio of mares from Ponyville. Pioneers of a fairly new genre, known as rap music. Please give a warm Las Pegasus welcome to P-Unit."
The three of them went up onto the stage. The stage crew rolled out a turntable that they used for parties. They didn't need it at the moment.
Vinyl Scratch messed with the settings on it. She was able to replicate the instrumental she made back home, which sounded like this:
When the beat dropped, Vinyl decided to go first again: Tirek sent me, pulling strings like Flash Sentry. Magic flying past your face, Blast Entry. Tragic, lying as a waste, born in the last century. Packing verbal artillery, leaving you whining like distilleries. Take this L like Hillary, I leave my foes in misery. One look at me, you're history. I'm cooking like a rotisserie. Other rappers don't interest me. You're witnessing victory, no this ain't contradictory. I control the auxiliary, that's the way it was meant to be. Mind's a little demented, see? Afraid to report, they'll abort mission like an unplanned pregnancy. That was not my destiny, but to them fillies, rest in peace.
Vinyl stopped a little early after saying that. The beat was still running, she expected a negative reaction, but there was only a few laughs and the audience applauded her.
Zecora had a chance to think as the applause slowed to a halt. She started her verse: Seen as a villain 'cause I'm keen to spillin' guts. If you don't want no smoke then please just keep your mouth shut. Just call me scissors 'cause I'm always in the cut. Back at it, a bad habit of killin' cyphers. A tough code to crack, so you cannot decipher. 25 to lifer, got more bars than penetentiaries. Just don't make no sense to me how I got off without sentencing. I got your attention, so I guess it's worth mentioning. That your life like Pinkie's mane will have no further extensioning.
Pinkie Pie was fuming as Vinyl Scratch and the audience bursted out laughing. Zecora smiled sheepishly, knowing she had made a bit of a mistake.
"No need to croak, it was only a joke," Zecora said.
Pinkie, in retaliation, made an extended version of her Evil Enchantress song. For some reason, it fit well with the beat and the audience found it hilarious: She's an Evil Enchantress She does evil dances And if you look deep in her eyes She'll put you in trances Then what will she do? She'll mix up an evil brew Then she'll gobble you up In a big tasty stew So, watch out! She'll get the crockpot out. No one will here you scream or shout. She's acting like she's real but ain't got no clout. If she says another word, I'll use this rock to spill her brains out.
"Rap and comedy. Good combination," a mare laughed.
Her coltfriend sat across from her. He stifled a laugh, "I know, isn't it great?"
"They're turning on each other. This isn't good," another stallion at a different table pointed out.
The song ended. Vinyl tried to keep the peace, "Okay, that's enough. Let it go. We're all friends here."
"Right. Friends to the end," Zecora had never heard Pinkie say this about her. She was hurt, but tried not to look annoyed.
Pinkie mocked her, "No need to croak, it's only a joke."
Vinyl sighed, "I'm done here. Let's go, Zecora."
Zecora obliged and followed her. Pinkie was laughing hysterically, but stopped when she realized they were her ticket home.
"Wait, don't leave me behind. Thanks for coming out, everypony," she waved and left. The crowd applauded as they exited.
"Pinkie, you're taking the train. That was rude and unnecessary. Your name was the only one that rhymed in that scenario, she was just trying to be funny. The crowd loved it. You didn't have to overreact," Vinyl ranted.
"But she started it," Pinkie sighed.
"I'm finishing it. We're all friends here. Hopefully that ride home will give you time to reflect on that. We'll see you when you get back. Be safe and stay out of trouble," Vinyl waved goodbye as she lit up her horn.
She used the teleportation spell again to get back to Ponyville. Pinkie Pie hung her head in defeat and sighed. She turned and began the long trot to the train station.
Three weeks had passed since the debacle that went down in the Lonely Hearts Club. The rap trio had regrouped back in Ponyville. They were up in Pinkie Pie's room. She had called them to meet there.
"Hey!" she greeted.
"What's up?" Vinyl returned the greeting.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry for making a scene out there. Rain Mane dropped by unannounced yesterday. He told me he has a show set up for us in Baltimare if you're interested," Pinkie explained.
"Yeah, I'm down," Vinyl agreed.
"Everything's okay, I hold no grudges today," Zecora added.
"Okay, let's go!" Pinkie slid down the stair rail, jumped off, and took off in full gallop toward the train station. Zecora and Vinyl were not far behind.
When they got there, they bought tickets and waited. Eventually, the Ponyville to Baltimare train arrived and they boarded.
After a few hours, they had in Baltimare. They got off the train and took a look around. The city streets were hustling and bustling.
"Feels like Canterlot here," Pinkie observed.
"Yeah, this is wild. I've never been here before," Vinyl concurred.
"The ponies have taken great care of Baltimare," Zecora admired how clean the streets were.
"What venue are are we performing in, Pinkie?" Vinyl asked.
"Baltimare Convention Center. They're having a music festival and we are the ones meant to represent rap. There is another rap duo there called Snips & Snails that will be there with us.
"Those corn shuckers can rap?" Vinyl laughed.
"Yeah, ain't you ever seen the 2nd Equestria Girls movie?" Pinkie deadpanned.
"The what?" Vinyl shook her head.
"Nevermind, but they can rap, I dunno how good they are," Pinkie replied.
"It appears Snips and Snails will trip and fail," Zecora joked.
"Hey, save the bars in case they make us battle. If they want beef, we'll have to assert our dominance," Vinyl warned.
Zecora silently nodded and they continued walking. They made it to the convention center. They got signed in and entered the festival. All the way in the back corner was the Rap section. Two stallions were already there freestyling over a rather lengthy instrumental.
A short blue unicorn with an orange mane and a pair of scissors as a cutie mark reset the beat and began rapping: Yeah, it's Snips in the cut. Got these scissors on my butt. I'm like: "What?" Caught up in a rut, I trot with a strut. A tough nut to crack, steady rhyming on the track. I ain't never cutting slack, keep them mares coming back like woah. Don't know where to go, stream of water with the flow. Pass the mic to Snails while he continues the show.
A slightly taller orange stallion with teal mane and a snail as his cutie mark continued the freestyle: Shoutout Snips, that's my bro, they call me Snails. I will prevail, deep breaths I must inhale. Seen as a villain, but I've never been to jail. Bit of a shy guy, I'm afraid to leave my shell. Well, three mares just walked in, I'm like: "What's up?" They looking at me kinda weird like: "Shut up." I'm like: "Okay, I guess it's time to go away." Sending the mic their way, I wanna hear what they say.
Snails paused the beat and gave the mic to Vinyl, "Y'all know how to rap?"
"Yeah, dude, we're P-Unit," Vinyl answered.
"Oh, you're the ones who dropped that song Next Level. I liked that track, I listen to it a lot," Snips jumped up from the table.
Snails nodded in agreement, "Yeah, that song kicks flank."
Vinyl cleared her throat, "Ay, mic check. 1, 2. Cut that beat back on, it was sick."
They obliged and continued the beat. Vinyl came in with her own verse, which sounded like this: It's Vinyl Scratch on the beat with heat to match. Got this batch of rhymes clean and easy to catch. Slicker than sleet, I'll never retreat or admit defeat. I don't run up in the streets, I stay in the back. From the underground, I attack, ain't cutting no slack. Snips and Snails, more like Trips and Fails, it's a fact. Slam dunking these bars like Shaq, these two think they know me. Try to cross me, I'll drop 81 like Kobe in Toronto. I grew up in the sticks surrounded by hicks, but I been on some Adventures in the 6ix. Big shouts to Wiz, y'all might not know he is, my dude's a writer, provider of sick lyrics. You can't be serious, must be delirious. But now I'm curious as to what your theory is. Zecora, don't be mysterious. Show them what rapping really is.
Zecora listened for a bit, after a letting the beat run for a few seconds, she began her verse: Little zebra with the stripes, I'm the main one causing hype. I don't wanna hear you gripe, so I'll grab a blade and swipe. Bash your head in with a pipe, bedridden all your life. I'm a ripe forbidden fruit, you been hidden from the truth. When I step up in the booth, all I do is confuse. Mental abuse, your brain I contuse, end up dead on the news. Dude, I don't do this for views, I try to stay in a good mood. But if you attitude rises in altitude, I'll track your latitude and longitude. Discipline your flank until you're no longer being rude. Your mission is to follow those beatitudes. Mine is to snuff out opponents like chewing tobacco. Act tough, I'll throw you off the team like Joe Flacco. Pinkie on the track, that's a fact tho.
Pinkie Pie was the last to get the mic. She took some time to think before providing her lines: Snips and Snails got weak rhymes, this has been a bleak time. Just wanna rewind, haul behind like I'm fleeing the scene of a crime. Still in my prime, I must unwind by killing these slimes all covered in grime. They're falling behind, writing columns to whine. It's fine, but if they step to me, I'll lock 'em down like Columbine. Rejection, can't rap against me, blocking all your shots like Dikembe. Not in my house, you look like pony versions of Dylan and Cole Sprouse. I'm out so deuces, I'm ruthless, the truth is, I reduce kids. Call me Ice Cube cuz gangsta rap made me do this. Good riddance, you've just been smitten.
Snips and Snails were confused as to why all three of them went after them with insults.
"Woah, what did we do to you?" Snails asked.
"Nothing, we felt like we had to assert our dominance," Vinyl explained.
"Well, you guys definitely have better bars," Snips conceded.
"You think we could hop on a track with the three of you in the future?" Snails asked.
Pinkie thought for a moment, "That would be fun to have even more ponies on a track. Five of us on one beat? That'll be crazy."
"Sounds good, but if they ever request a battle, I'll have to attack their behinds with a verbal paddle," Zecora joked.
Vinyl and Pinkie laughed and nodded in agreement.
"So we're in then?" Snips asked.
"I guess," Vinyl surrendered.
"Yeah, we'll make something happen later on. We're gonna head back home for now," Pinkie promised.
Snips and Snails simply took their word for it. P-Unit left the building and returned to the train station. After buying their tickets, they waited for the train to arrive. When it got there, they boarded it and made their way back home. They parted ways for now, but agreed to regroup again for the next show.