Warning!!! This story contains severe violence and graphic content such as removal of innards and dismemberment. Read at your own risk or stay away and don't read.
Kahmey the devil dog has heard of a legend that lurks in the everfree forest. The legend said something about a creature called a human that had died the the very second it arrived in Equestria, because it landed in the everfree forest. There was a chant that was used to lure her to you, Kahmey made the mistake of getting her attention and has doomed all who step foot into the forest. Now Kahmey must fix things, but it will be extremely hard.
Kahmey had just woken up and remembered something he had in his desk. When he got it out he remembered what it was, it was a chant that had to be done in the everfree forest at midnight, he didn’t know what it was supposed to do or what dangers would follow. He read it over and it sounded creepy, but that didn’t bother Kahmey. He decided to go to Princess Twilight’s castle to see what it might be.
(Princess Twilight, I have something I need to look for and I need your help on finding a book about it.) said Kahmey.
(What is it Kahmey? You sound like you’re in a hurry.) Twilight asked.
(I have something about it on a piece of paper, I’d like to know if you can tell me what this says and possibly get me about on the topic.) Kahmey said in hope
(I’ll try but this looks like some kind of latin. Arcesseret ad femina silvis.) said Princess Twilight reading the printing out loud.
(Kahmey, I don’t think you should keep this.) said Twilight in a frightened tone.
(What does it say in new ponish?) Kahmey asked.
(How to summon woman of the woods. This is a very dangerous chant and I think it should be thrown away.) Twilight panicked
(What does the rest of it say?) Kahmey asked.
(Femina silvis mihi exaudi vocem meam secutus. It means Woman of the woods hear my voice and follow it to me. If you say this at midnight you will get her attention, but you will doom anyone who lives or goes into the everfree forest.) said Twilight.
(Well, I will take it home and toss it into my garbage disposal.) said Kahmey
(Alright, just don’t test this chant.) Twilight replied.
When Kahmey got home, he tossed the piece of paper onto the counter and went to the cold case and got some apple jam and put some bread in the oven and made him an apple jam sandwich. But when he got done, curiosity got the best of him and he decided to test the chant. He had no idea what he was gonna be waking up, he had zero knowledge on the woman of the woods and since Twilight didn’t seem to want to help he was gonna be on his own in this.
Kahmey went into the woods and camped out in the shed he had stayed in when he first came to Equestria. He waited in the shed until midnight and then he set out to find a place to do the chant.
It turned midnight and he got the piece of paper out if his collar then began the chant.
(Femina autem quod silvis, audi mea voc et sequitur eum ad mihi.) Kahmey chanted
Kahmey began hearing a voice, then he saw her. A woman with white eyes and very short black hair. She had a brown and beige winter coat, her skin was dark, a lot like rotted flesh. When she walked into the moonlight she began looking like she was ready to kill him.
Kahmey began to run out of the everfree forest he knew he was being chased by this woman of the woods. She had him in her sight, she wanted him dead and she wanted him dead now, but Kahmey was not gonna stop for her. The woman of the woods called out.
(Kahmey help me, help me.) said the woman of the woods. She sounded like Scootaloo, but Kahmey knew that Scootaloo was not in the everfree forest, she was with Applejack, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. So this was clearly not Scootaloo, it was the woman of the woods trying to get Kahmey to turn back into a trap.
Kahmey finally made it out of the everfree forest and to his house. The only thing that Kahmey could think about was finding out more about the woman of the woods. When Kahmey got back to his house he went straight to his library and began looking for answers, but he couldn’t find a book on any shelf that had anything about the woman of the woods. He had looked through literally hundreds of books and was still clueless about this vile creature, the thoughts went through his head, what is this thing capable of, what is it even, is it a new unknown species, why does it have to be summoned, is it from a foreign dimension? That was all Kahmey could think about.
(I have to find out, I’ve gotta know.) That’s all Kahmey could say or think at the moment.
When night time came, Kahmey was restless, all he could do was think about the woman of the woods. He decided to go to Princess Twilight’s castle library and look through the books and see if he could find anything about this creature. He stopped a pony cab that was working overtime and paid the cab trotter one hundred bits to wait for him to return. He made his way to the library and started searching. The noise from books being thrown woke up Starlight Glimmer. Kahmey was startled by Starlight coming in.
(Oh. Sorry for waking you up mam.) Kahmey apologized. (It’s okay, I wasn’t sleeping that well anyway. So what are you looking for, you’re obviously looking for a specific book or topic.?) Starlight assured (I’m looking for information on a creature called “The Woman Of The Woods” and I can’t find anything about it.) Kahmey said frantically looking through book after book. (Well I can help you find that and I can also tell you a little about her.) Starlight said pulling out a book from the very top shelf. (The Woman Of The Woods is one of the oldest and least talked about creatures, it is said that she can mock any voice she chooses, she is capable of appearing and disappearing, teleporting, setting traps, and killing somepony using nothing but her claws, even I found it strange that her claws are rounded instead of pointed.) Starlight rambled.
Kahmey looked through the chapter and was shocked at what the woman of the woods was capable of. He even found the name of species very interesting, everypony calls her a “human” while the rest of the species names were mixed or basic.
(Hey Starlight. What in Equestria is a human?) Kahmey asked (That’s what I was wondering when I saw that.) Starlight replied
Kahmey then started looking for a way to defeat the woman of the woods. He was unsuccessful.
(Darn it, why is there nothing in here about how to get rid of this woman of the woods?) Kahmey asked in frustration.
(I can answer that question.) a familiar voice answered from behind. (Princess Twilight. I’m sorry for waking you up, but I must look for info on the woman of the-) Kahmey attempted to lie being cut off (Yeah right! You tested the chant, I told you not to and you did it anyway, I have never thought you would do something this low. I can’t believe you. You, you, you-) Princess Twilight was cut off from yelling at Kahmey (Twilight, now is not the time to yell at the dog, it’s time to find a way to get rid of the woman of the woods.) Starlight interfered (I do remember a Zebra who lives in the everfree forest and might have some information on this creature.) said Kahmey
They made their way to Zecora’s hut, unfortunately they were stopped by a devastating sight. What they saw was dead chimera, laying right next to a dead cockatrice and above them was two symbols made out of their innards. What got to them the most was that the hearts were tied in the center of both symbols. Princess Twilight and Starlight could not believe their eyes and Kahmey started hurling
(What an awful sight.) Princess Twilight cried (This is a sad sight I’ll never get out of my head.) said Starlight.
Kahmey just kept hurling.
They continued their way to Zecora’s hut, not knowing what they would come across next.
They were almost at Zecora’s hut when they heard something. (Help me!)
Princess Twilight froze. (That’s Apple Bloom.) Princess Twilight said just about running over to where she heard the voice. (NO! That’s not Apple Bloom your majesty. That’s a trap.) Kahmey said cutting Princess Twilight off. (Then who is it?) Princess Twilight asked (The woman of the woods. She can imitate voices.) Kahmey replied (It’s True and if one falls for the trick she will kill you.) said a familiar voice (Zecora, what happened to you.) Princess Twilight asked in a concerned manner (I walked right into the trap I did but at first I thought it was a kid.) Zecora replied
But Starlight Glimmer couldn’t understand Zecora due to all the rhyming riddling. Kahmey knew what Zecora was talking about and proceeded filled Starlight in on things after the last of his supper came up. (She means, that the woman of the woods tricked her into a trap and *hurls* and she was attacked.) Kahmey said with another round of hurling.
Zecora brought them back to her hut and explained everything. Kahmey asked the question he was hoping would get an answer.
(Miss Zecora, is there any possible way to get rid of the woman of the woods?) Kahmey asked (There is a way but they way you are dressed you cannot slay.) said Zecora (What does that mean?) Starlight asked (It means I can’t kill the woman of the woods the way I am dressed.) Kahmey answered (So how is he supposed to be dressed?) Princess Twilight asked (For the woman of the woods to be slain, he must follow rules, dress up and use native tools.) Zecora stated (Follow rules, dress up and use native tools. Aha, I have to go in and face the woman of the woods with native tradition.) Kahmey said figuring out what Zecora meant.
Zecora gave Kahmey a book on native zebra tradition, this book would tell Kahmey about how the zebras fought off the evil beings, physical and mystical. Kahmey gave Zecora a big thanks and the three began their trip back to Ponyville. But on their way back they spotted a manticore that had been killed, it’s innards were made into a symbol hanging up in a tree. Kahmey started gagging but had nothing to throw up the three just continued their way back to Ponyville. Starlight gave Kahmey a pony ride back to Princess Twilight’s castle.
When, they got back to the castle, Kahmey was put onto a stack of cushions in the library where he was able to fall asleep. Princess Twilight and Starlight Glimmer went straight to research, they wanted to find out more about this creature, they wanted to know where it came from, what happened to it or anything that could give them useful information. The two ponies continued to hit dead ends and Starlight was showing signs of being mentally exhausted while Princess Twilight kept researching. It was almost morning when Spike came in and saw them going all over the place, Princess Twilight grabbing one book after another from every shelf.
(Twilight, what are you doing up this early?) Spike asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes. (Kahmey summoned the woman of the woods and we’re trying to find as much information as we can about it.) Starlight replied. (The what of the woods?) Spike asked. (The woman of the woods. It’s a very mean, very powerful and evil creature.) Princess Twilight answered. (Well that sounds like a challenge and all but I’m going to lay down.) said Spike in a tired tone (Twilight, why is Kahmey in my library bed?) Spike asked (He’s been through a lot and those cushions are for anyone.) Princess Twilight replied.
Instead of finding a different place to curl up and sleep, Spike just curled up next to the sleeping canine and went to sleep. Princess Twilight just rolled her eyes and went back to her endless research. Spike was out like a light being curled up to Kahmey’s thick soft fur and began snoring, making it hard for Princess Twilight and Starlight Glimmer to concentrate. That’s when Starlight cast a spell muting the dragon’s loud snoring. Two hours passed without leads, and then Starlight finally found something that actually helped.
(Twilight, look at this.) Starlight yelled. (What is it? Did you find something?) Princess Twilight asked. (Yes. It looks like a ritual or something and there’s a map to where it’s done at.) Starlight explained (Well this might work but, from what I have read, rituals have a deadline. If something is too strong or if a certain number of days have passed they won’t work.) Princess Twilight replied. (Well it’s worth a try isn’t it?) Starlight questioned.
Princess Twilight gave a look of hope and looked at the map and realized it was in the most dangerous part of the everfree forest. The only thing that Princess Twilight could think to do at the moment was go to Kahmey’s house and hope that he didn’t throw away the paper that had the chant on it. She hoped it would have a deadline on how long you have before any ritual would be ineffective.
When Princess Twilight got to Kahmey’s house she found the piece of paper, but there was no deadline on it, so she brought the piece of paper back to the castle and woke Kahmey up to ask him questions about it.
(Kahmey. Kahmey? KAHMEY!) Princess Twilight said waking him and Spike up. (What the hell?!) Kahmey replied (Don’t ask me that. Where did you get this piece of paper? By that I mean who gave it to you.?) Princess Twilight demanded (I got it from a filly named Cozy Glow.) Kahmey answered (Did this filly have a rook as a cutie mark?) Princess Twilight asked (Yes. She had a rook for a cutie mark, a pink fur coat, a blue striped mane and tail.) Kahmey answered (I see no lie in your face. Cozy Glow has done something so low and crazy that it makes draining magic look like a minor crime.) Princess Twilight replied (You know Twilight, if Cozy Glow gave Kahmey that paper, then she might have some information that we can use. She also might have a book that has more important details.) said Starlight (Well I know where she’s living.) Kahmey said showing the location on the map table.
So they went to the place where Kahmey said Cozy Glow would be. Unfortunately they had to go through the everfree forest, so Kahmey went back to his house and got his sovereign sword to defend the princess, he then made his way to the place where Princess Twilight told him to meet her and Starlight. When he got there he saw all of her friends as well.
(It’s a major thing you’ve gotten us into Kahmey, Granny Smith told me a story about this woman of the woods and she is not something you want to have a tea party with, but I understand how curiosity can affect one’s mind.) Applejack said taking her hat off (Well at least I know what the woman of the woods is capable of. She can lure you into a trap, she can imitate voices, and she can kill a manticore and rip it’s innards out and same goes for a cockatrice.) Kahmey said warning the ponies before him. (Well we should probably go on.) said RainbowDash. (One more thing, are Sweetie belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo home.?) Kahmey asked. (Yeah why.?) Rarity and Applejack asked (Because I don’t want this woman of the woods to lure you into a trap, remember I said she can imitate voices and I know someone who ended up in a fight for her life against the woman of the woods because of that.) said Kahmey (Who was this pony who ended up in a fight for their life.) Applejack asked (Not a pony, a zebra.) Kahmey replied (Zecora!?) said Rarity. (Yes and she was covered in blood, her mane was ripped up and she had an earring torn out.) Kahmey explained (Whoa, that is insane. This woman of the woods crazy. I wonder if Daring Do has encountered the woman of the woods.) said RainbowDash (I guarantee, if this Daring Do pony had encountered the woman of the woods, they wouldn’t be alive.) Kahmey replied (Well, you never know, she’s very elusive.) said RainbowDash (I doubt she could elude the woman of the woods, now let’s go find Cozy Glow and hope we don’t run into the woman of the woods.) Kahmey said walking into the everfree forest and pulling his sword out.
They all went into the forest and began their search for Cozy Glow. They walked for three days and two nights before they reached their destination. When they found Cozy Glow, she was barely alive but alive. Kahmey put Cozy Glow on his back and when he did, he heard Applejack’s voice. (Kahmey, what are you doing?) (I’m gonna run her to the hospital Applejack.) said Kahmey (Good idea Kahmey, but I didn’t ask you that.) said Applejack (WE NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HERE, NOW!) Kahmey yelled out. So they ran away from there as fast as they could. Then Princess Twilight teleported them out of the everfree forest and in front of Ponyville Hospital. When Kahmey ran into the hospital and brought the filly in front of the check in desk the nurses rushed Cozy Glow into the urgent care room. The seven ponies and canine waited in the waiting room. An hour and thirty minutes passed then the nurses called Kahmey into the room where Cozy Glow is and asked him a question that he found super dumb
(Did you give her these injuries? I’m sorry but I have to ask because of what you are.) said nurse Red Heart (Why in the fucking hell would I do this to anypony, a filly especially? That was the dumbest bull shit question I have ever heard in all my time in Equestria.) Kahmey replied (Well you’re a canine and I have to ask.) said nurse Red Heart ( Hell no I didn’t. Have you heard of the woman of the woods?) said Kahmey (Actually I have. My Mom told me it came to Equestria from another universe, the first place it appeared was in the everfree forest, right in front of an ursa cave, then it instantly got attacked and killed by an ursa major, but she came back and now those who summon her will bring those who live or walk in the everfree forest a terrible fate. That’s all I know and that’s all my Mom would tell me.) nurse Red Heart explained (Wow, not only do you have your answer to what did this to Cozy Glow, but you also gave me more information about this woman of the woods. I’m glad you’ve heard about this thing.) said Kahmey
When Kahmey walked into Cozy’s room the first thing he noticed was the markings on her cheek, they were the same symbols he saw up in the trees made out of the manticore and cockatrice innards. It was confirmed that the woman of the woods did this to her. After seeing Cozy Glow he went back to the waiting room and told Princess Twilight and her friends what nurse Red Heart told him that she knew about this woman of the woods, and Princess Twilight especially was shocked at the information.
(So, this woman of the woods is from another universe?) Princess Twilight asked (That’s what nurse Red Heart told me her mother told her.) Kahmey replied (Wow and the first thing that happened when it got here was an ursa major attack.) Princess Twilight said feeling remorse for the woman of the woods. (I know it’s a sad story but this woman of the woods has hurt a filly and I don’t take that kindly to that, evil or good, I don’t like a grown creature or pony that hurts a filly or colt.)
Princess Twilight, Kahmey and the rest of the group went back to the castle and had some lunch. Cucumber sandwich, oats and grits.
(Alright, girls and Kahmey here’s lunch.) said Princess Twilight
So the ponies and the canine sat down and ate their meal and they made a group decision. They all agreed that they would go to the ursa cave and make their way to find where the woman of the woods is living.
Princess Twilight and her friends were almost done with her meal when Kahmey brought up what he saw on Cozy Glow’s cheek. As much as Kahmey didn’t want to bring this up at the dinner table, he knew it had to mean something.
(Hey girls, I didn’t want to bring this up yet but I feel like if I don’t say this I will forget about it.) said Kahmey (What is it?) Princess Twilight asked (Princess Twilight, do you remember those symbols we saw in the everfree forest?) Kahmey replied (Yes.) Princess Twilight said close to gagging (Well, when I looked into the room that Cozy Glow was in, the first thing I noticed was her cheek. What I saw on her cheek was the same symbols we saw in the everfree forest.) Kahmey said to both Princess Twilight and her friends.
The six ponies and the canine finished their meal and went the hospital in hopes of finding where the ursa cave was. Kahmey figured nurse Red Heart would know the answer since she was the one who gave him the valuable information. When they got to the hospital Kahmey asked to see nurse Red Heart and told the desk pony that it was important that he saw her immediately. But the desk pony told him that nurse Red Heart was booked up today.
(Look I really need to see nurse Red Heart, this is way more important than nursing others back to health.) said Kahmey (What could possibly be more important than the health of other ponies?) the desk pony asked (The lives of those who live in or enter the everfree forest.) Kahmey replied (What could be any more dangerous in the everfree forest than timber wolves?) the desk pony replied (The woman of the woods.) Kahmey answered (WHAT! How is it back?) the desk pony said in fear. (So you’ve heard of this thing as well?) Kahmey asked (Yes, my grandma used to tell me a story about the woman of the woods, and if you want me to tell you about this you need to come over to my place so we won’t frighten anypony.) said the desk pony. (If we frighten ponies they might actually avoid the everfree forest and won’t be attacked by the woman of the woods.) Kahmey replied (But what if they don’t?) the desk pony asked.
Kahmey gave the desk pony a look and then agreed to meet her at her place.
(Alright if you won’t tell me here, then give me your address and I will meet you there and I want you to tell me what you know about the woman of the woods.) Kahmey said in hopes of getting the information he needed. (Here it is, also please don’t bring your friends.) said the desk pony (You mean Princess Twilight and her friends?) Kahmey asked (Yes.) the desk pony answered (Why not?) Kahmey asked (Just don’t.)
Kahmey looked at the desk pony with suspicion as he walked out. He didn’t understand why she didn’t want him to bring Princess Twilight or her friends, but if he wanted any possibilities of getting further information he had to take whatever chance he was about to be running.
(I don’t understand that desk pony, I have suspicions but I have to meet her at her home if I want any information, and I have to go alone.) said Kahmey (Well you do what you have to do, as long we get useful information.) Princess Twilight replied
So after hospital hours Kahmey went to the house where the desk pony lives and waited for her to get home. When the desk pony got home, she brought him in, and before she gave him the information promised she went into the kitchen and started making dinner.
(Excuse me mam, why are you making dinner before giving me the information you said you would meet me for? Why not make dinner after I leave?) Kahmey asked (I want to talk about my father’s encounter over supper.) said the pony (Wait your father’s encounter?) Kahmey asked (Yes, I’ll get on that shortly.) the pony replied
The desk pony got supper ready and placed it on the table. Kahmey walked into the dining room and saw the set table, it looked like the pony was burning a little bright for Kahmey. The table had candles, some flowers, and some beautiful drinking cups. It looked like the pony was wanting a date.
(Are you trying to date me miss?) Kahmey questioned the pony (Yes.) said the pony
Kahmey’s suspicions were correct from the start, the way the pony looked at him at the hospital, the way she said to meet her at her place and fixing dinner before talking to him.
(Please, I need somepony or someone to have a date with me, I have been living alone for a very long time.) the pony begged (Fine. I will have a date with you and you tell me what you know about the woman of the woods down to every last detail. Do we have an accord?) Kahmey said with cordial intent. (Sure, a date is all I ask for, nothing further.) said the pony
Kahmey sat down at the table and they both ate the meal that the pony fixed.
(What is this?) Kahmey asked (It’s deer. I have oats.) said the pony (Oh, you must be mistaken, I’m not carnivorous, I’m actually omnivorous and was hoping you had something vegan.) Kahmey replied (Oh, sorry, I thought since you’re canine you would be expecting meat.) said the pony (Well nevermind, it would be more respectful to accept what’s on my plate and what matters to me more than deer meat is the information about the woman of the woods and my hopes that it would allow me to defeat it and bring safety back to ponies that step foot in those woods.) Kahmey replied (Okay well, I’ll tell you what he told me. My father was an explorer, not like daring do but just your average forest explorer.) said the pony (Sorry to interrupt but who is this daring do character? I’ve heard it from RainbowDash and now you.) Kahmey asked (Daring Do is a book series written by an author named AK Yearling. Now as I was saying, one day my father was exploring the everfree forest and came across an aura of magic, then a creature appeared and broke a stick upon landing, next thing he noticed was an ursa coming out of it’s cave roaring in anger, he didn’t understand why the ursa got mad just because of a stick breaking. He then witnessed the attack and wanted to help but he knew even he couldn’t stop an ursa major without the proper magic skills. When the ursa went back into the cave, he went over to the creature, and saw that it was a woman and knew she was dead.) the pony explained (Did he say where the cave was?) Kahmey asked (Yes and I have the map he gave me as a reminder of him, you can use it. I know you can stop this woman of the woods so be careful.) said the pony
Kahmey took the map and went back to Princess Twilight’s castle and gave her the details.
When Kahmey got back to the castle, he placed the map and his sovereign sword on Princess Twilight’s map table and went to the pile of cushions in the library. He then noticed Spike walking into the library. He wondered why he was in the library instead of being in the room with the princess.
(Spike? What are doing in here instead of Princess Twilight’s room?) Kahmey asked (Oh, Twilight isn’t sleeping, she’s going through books to see if she can find anything about the woman of the woods.) Spike replied (Well, I have something for her to see tomorrow.) Kahmey said starting to doze off (Well can I sleep in here with you? I can’t help it, I sleep better when I’m near you for some reason.) Spike asked (I guess so. Just don’t wake me up.) Kahmey replied granting Spike the permission
When Kahmey got to sleep, he had a horrible nightmare. In his nightmare he saw the woman of the woods killing his friends, the CMC and the other three royal princesses, he also saw an evil version of luna and a black unicorn with a black shadow like mane go into battle with the woman of the woods. He tried everything he could to wake up from this nightmare, but he found it hopeless. What felt like days passed until princess luna came into his dream and put an end to the nightmare.
(Princess Luna, thank goodness you’re here.) Kahmey said in relief (You’re welcome Kahmey.) Princess Luna replied (So, I know what that one thing is but why would two other ponies I’ve never seen before be here and who were they?) Kahmey asked (King Sombra and Nightmare Moon are two legendary villains and only exist in books of Equestrian history so even I can’t explain why you would see them in a dream, now to the main point of my presence, I understand what you’re going through, you fear the consequences of summoning the woman of the woods and so do I but I wanted to let you know that I believe you can defeat it and bring peace back to the everfree forest. One more thing I think I should mention, I have some information you might be able to use. The woman of the woods can only be faced at night and if you try to fight her during the day, you will surely fail.) said Princess Luna (Well what if I fail even at night.) Kahmey asked in fear (I have faith in you, and a strong dog like you is not likely to fail.) Princess Luna said raising Kahmey’s spirit (Thanks Princess Luna.) said Kahmey (You’re welcome, now I must take care of another nightmare. Good night Kahmey.) Princess Luna said as she pulled into another dream
The next morning Kahmey woke up to the still snoring dragon on his belly. Kahmey just rolled his eyes and pick Spike up and woke him.
(Spike, wake up.) Kahmey said holding Spike close to his eyes (AAAAAHHHHH. Oh Kahmey you scared me.) said Spike (At least you’re wide awake.) Kahmey said walking out of the library (So what is it you have for Twilight?) Spike asked following Kahmey into the throne room (A map to the ursa cave where the woman of the woods was killed. I also got some further information from Princess Luna last night.) Kahmey replied (What did she say?) Spike asked (She told me I can only defeat this woman of the woods at night and that if I tried to defeat her in the day time, I would surely fail.) Kahmey replied (Well at least you know when you can face off against the woman of the woods.) said Spike
When Kahmey entered the throne room, it was empty. Kahmey looked around the castle and the only other ponies inside were Princess Twilight and Starlight Glimmer but they were still asleep. Kahmey decided to go in the kitchen and make some breakfast for Princess Twilight, Starlight Glimmer and himself. Princess Twilight and Starlight Glimmer both smelled the food cooking and got up to see what was up. They saw Kahmey with blueberry pancakes in a skillet.
(Kahmey, that smells amazing.) said Princess Twilight giving a long sniff. (Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever smelled anything this good.) Starlight complemented (It’s nothing, really.) Kahmey replied (Aw come on Kahmey, take some credit will ya.?) said Princess Twilight (I’m not a big credit taker.) Kahmey replied (Alright, well I still say that these pancakes look and smell amazing.) said Princess Twilight
Kahmey got the last pancake out of the skillet and brought the big stack out to the dining room. When he got to the dining room he saw the rest of Princess Twilight’s friends sitting at the table, so when he set the table everypony was amazed by how good Kahmey’s pancakes were and they dug right in. Before Kahmey sat down to eat, he went into the throne room and got the map that the pony from the hospital gave him and brought it to the dining room.
(Girls, I have something here that the pony behind the desk at the hospital gave me yesterday evening.) Kahmey said presenting the map (A map?) Applejack asked (Yes but not just any map, this map leads to the ursa cave where the woman of the woods was killed by that ursa major.) Kahmey said sitting down at the table (So she wasn’t just able to give you information, but she was able to give you a map leading to where the woman of the woods was killed.) Fluttershy replied (Yes and I got further information thanks to a nightmare I had last night, the reason I said thanks is because if it hadn’t been for the nightmare, Princess Luna never would have been there to tell me that I can only face off against this woman of the woods at night.) said Kahmey
When they finished their meal and conversation, they had an unexpected visitor. Princess Celestia walked in for a visit and what she had to say was very shocking.
(Hello girls, canine and young dragon, you all are not gonna like this too much.) said Princess Celestia (What’s going on?) Kahmey asked (I have just received a message that an ursa minor was found dead not too far from Fluttershy’s cottage. The innards have been ripped out and made into a symbol that none of the royal guards can figure out what it means.) Princess Celestia said shocking the seven ponies and Kahmey. (An ursa minor? What else is this woman of the woods capable of killing?) Kahmey asked (Oh I’m awfully sure it can take out an ursa major Kahmey.) Princess Celestia replied
It was a lot to take in but the news from Celestia had only just begun.
Kahmey was getting close to hurling when he heard about the ursa minor being killed and it’s innards removed but that was not the only thing that Princess Celestia had to stay. She had something even worse to say.
(Now the next thing I have been informed of is that timberwolves have been killed and left to rot on the edges of the everfree forest and last, pukwudgies have been spotted dead and removed of their quills close to mine and Luna’s old castle by the pegasus patrol unit.) Princess Celestia stated
Kahmey couldn’t hold back anymore and ran to the bathroom, in the bathroom he went face down in the toilet and began hurling. When he didn’t have anything else he could throw up, he went back to the dining room. Princess Celestia looked worried about him, she had heard about his unusual nightmare involving King Sombra, Nightmare Moon and the woman of the woods.
(Are you alright Kahmey?) Princess Celestia asked (I’m fine.) Kahmey said lying through his sharp teeth. (Kahmey don’t lie to me, I can tell something is bothering you.) said Princess Celestia
Kahmey never told Princess Celestia the truth, he only walked out of the throne room, down the hallway and out of the castle. Kahmey figured the last place he needed to go before his battle with the woman of the woods, before he would go against the woman of the woods he had to go and talk to Cozy Glow. So Kahmey went to the hospital and asked to see Cozy Glow.
(Hey, I need to see Cozy Glow, is she awake.) Kahmey asked (Cozy Glow is in room 22.) said the desk pony. (Thank you mam.) said Kahmey
Kahmey made his way down the hallway and kept his eyes out for the right room number. When he got to the right room, but he was stopped by a doctor. The doctor didn’t say anything and pushed him away from the door. When Kahmey said he needed to speak to Cozy Glow The doctor just shook his head and pointed towards the door. Kahmey wasn’t getting anywhere until nurse Red Heart walked up.
(Why are you pointing him to the exit door?) nurse Red Heart asked (Because I was put in this hallway to protect the patients.) said the doctor (No, you were put in this hallway to bring the patients their medication, not keep visitors out of rooms.) nurse Red Heart said correcting the doctor (Don’t tell the creature that.) the doctor whispered (I heard that. My name is Kahmey, not creature, Cozy Glow has some information I need. If I’m gonna stop the woman of the woods, I need to talk to Cozy.) Kahmey said trying to get the doctor to stop his foolishness. (Look as much as I want what’s it to be defeated you canines are not allowed in rooms with fillies, I can’t risk having her eaten by a vicious and ravenous dog.) the doctor said holding a stun baton (Doctor I’m sending a note to Princess Celestia.) said nurse Red Heart (Good, at least she will get this dog out of here.) the doctor said still assuming that Kahmey was a bad creature
When Princess Celestia got the message, she immediately went to the hospital and talked to the doctor.
(Princess Celestia, your majesty, thank goodness you’re here, that creature is trying to get into the room with an injured filly, without a doubt he’s trying to get in there to have a meal.) the doctor assumed (Mhm, I see.) Princess Celestia said opening the door to Cozy Glow’s room (What the hell?! This isn’t like you, how could endanger the life of a filly? You’re fucking cruel.) the doctor said.
While the doctor was starting to argue with Princess Celestia Kahmey began to ask Cozy Glow his questions.
(Hey Cozy Glow. I’m here to ask you a few questions.) said Kahmey (What are your questions?) Cozy Glow said looking over to Kahmey (My first question is, how did you find out about the woman of the woods?) Kahmey asked (Well I found it a long section in a book called forgotten creatures.) Cozy Glow answered (Alright next question, why did you give me the chant to summon the woman of the woods?) Kahmey asked (Revenge. Princess Twilight, got me put into tartarus and I wanted to do something bigger than just sucking up magic, I wanted to unleash something really deadly and impossible to stop.) Cozy Glow answered (Thank you now a couple more questions and I will leave you alone. Why are you taking the wicked path?) Kahmey asked (Because taking the evil rout equals freedom. Also it’s fun to be evil.) Cozy Glow answered (Okay final question. Where is the book you found the information about the woman of the woods at?) Kahmey asked the final question (Why do you want the book?) Cozy Glow asked (Because I need it.) said Kahmey (For what.) said Cozy Glow.
Kahmey really thought his lie through before telling it.
(I want to add it to my book collection.) Kahmey said convincing Cozy Glow to talk (Alright, I put it in the ursa cave where the woman of the woods lives.) Cozy Glow answered.
(Look, I have helped that dog take another step to defeating the woman of the woods. What’s more important, keeping dogs out of hospital rooms or the fate of those who enter the everfree forest? You may only pick one.) Princess Celestia said giving the doctor a question that he answered right off the bat (Keeping these dangerous creatures out of the hospital.) said the doctor (Are you sure? That’s your answer?) Celestia asked (Yes.) said the doctor (You’re fired) Celestia said (WHAT!?) the pony yelled (You heard me, you are fired, and the reason is, you are a doctor and even if you were a security guard, you would still have to ask questions before you make a move, and since you were assuming that Kahmey is a dangerous animal, you didn’t even know that he is only trying to get information he can use to find out the proper way to stop the woman of the woods.) Princess Celestia stated (You are making a mistake, did you not see the eyes on that creature?) the pony asked (I’ve seen his eyes multiple times and he hasn’t harmed me.) said Princess Celestia (Now get out. Don’t you remember that you have been fired?) Princess Celestia said (You will regret this your majesty.) said the pony
Princess Celestia went into the room with Kahmey and Cozy Glow and she saw Kahmey with his head down and Cozy Glow whispering something in his ear. Princess Celestia looked at Kahmey and saw his face, she noticed that he looked like he heard something that he regrets hearing. Kahmey didn’t stop to talk, he just ran out of the hospital and into the everfree forest, to find the ursa cave where the woman of the woods was killed to see if he could find. He never said what he was looking for out loud, he didn’t stop for anything. He was hearing all kinds of things, he was hearing timber wolves being killed and he knew he started hearing an ursa major being attacked and the ursa was not winning. Kahmey used the opportunity to quickly make his way to the ursa cave where the woman of the woods lives. He walked for six hours total before finally coming up to the ursa cave. When he got inside he searched for the book. He looked until he reached the back of the cave, there he found the book and snatched it up, he then broke into a dead run and didn’t stop until he got out of the forest. When Kahmey got back to Ponyville it was night time and he was exhausted, but managed to make his way back to Princess Twilight’s castle. He placed the book on the map table and went to the library where he collapsed onto the pile of cushions. Kahmey once again felt Spike get onto the cushions with him, but wasn’t about to complain, he himself was still alive and only wanted to sleep right now.
(It’s still alright if I sleep with you isn’t it?) Spike asked (Yes, yes you can sleep with me.) Kahmey replied with a very exhausted voice.
Kahmey and Spike were both out like a candle flame that night.
Kahmey woke up the next morning, once again with Spike laying on his belly, but when Kahmey tried to get up he still felt very very tired. He had no idea why he was so tired, he slept just fine last night and had no nightmare, Spike didn’t keep him up so that was out as a possibility. Kahmey, got up to go to the coffee shop.
(Kahmey, where are you going?) Spike asked (I’m going to the coffee shop.) Kahmey replied (Can I come with you? Twilight won’t be up for a while.) Spike asked wanting to go (I guess so.) Kahmey said granting Spike the permission.
They both walked out to the coffee shop and when they got there Spike wondered if he could get a small one.
(Could I get a small coffee, please?) Spike asked (Sure Spike.) Kahmey said walking into the shop with Spike.
Kahmey bought them both a coffee and they sat down in a booth and had their wake up drink.
While Kahmey and Spike were drinking their coffee, Kahmey asked Spike why he always got up on the cushion pile with him.
(Spike, I have something to asked you. Why must you always go to sleep with me? I have woke up two mornings with you sleeping on my belly.) Kahmey asked (Alright, the truth is, I sleep more comfortable next to you than I do in my own bed. Your fur is so soft and warm.) Spike replied (Well, it’s not that I have a problem with it, I just wanted to know.) Kahmey said assuring Spike
Kahmey and Spike finished their coffee then made their way back to the castle. When they got back, they noticed that Twilight was face deep in the book that Kahmey had brought to the throne room.
(Kahmey, where did you get this book?) Twilight asked (I got it from the cave where the woman of the woods lives, courtesy of Cozy Glow.) Kahmey replied (You know I seem to recall Cozy Glow being put into Tartarus.) Starlight Glimmer added (You know I had forgotten about that, so another question is, how did she get out?) Twilight replied (Wait, Cozy Glow was put into Tartarus?) Kahmey asked in shock (Yes, her and a centaur named tirek, worked together to drain the magic of Equestria, and to use my school of friendship as her castle no doubt, but she was thrown off and put to stop by six creatures and put into tartarus. I have no idea how she escaped, but this has to be her worst act.) Twilight said filling with anger. (Isn’t Tartarus a heavily locked prison?) Kahmey asked (No it’s an underground land with the most dangerous creatures guarded by cerberus.) Twilight explained (Alright, well it must be locked tightly and heavily if it’s gonna hold those creatures.) Kahmey replied (It is and takes a lot of magic to open the doors. Anyway, let’s see what all else this book has to say about the woman of the woods.) Twilight replied
Twilight went back to what she enjoys and resumed her research on the woman of the woods.
(Here’s something we didn’t know.) Twilight said (The woman of the woods is capable of being captured by taking this thing.) Twilight said showing a picture (What is that thing?) Kahmey asked (It is called the blood skull. It says in legend that the ursa hurled up this woman’s skull then her blood poured out of his gullet onto the skull and created the blood skull.) Twilight read. (So if we collect this blood skull, we will be able contain her in something?) Starlight asked (Well, we can look for this, but we can’t help Kahmey take on the woman of the woods if this fails.) Twilight replied
So they set out to find the blood skull. Kahmey grabbed his sovereign sword and then him and the two ponies went into the everfree forest. When they got to the very edge of the forest, they could really feel the change of the air, appearance and volume of the forest, the air was thicker than it used to be, it was darker than it already was and it was almost silent. Twilight was very hesitant to enter the forest now, she didn’t know whether she was gonna die as soon as she stepped into the forest, if she was gonna have to fight something instantly or if she was gonna be alright.
(Kahmey, I’m not sure if I want to step hoof into the everfree forest.) Twilight said looking at Kahmey with filly eyes (If you don’t want to enter that’s alright.) Kahmey replied. (Well, I will go in but, I need someone to protect me against the woman of the woods.) said Twilight (I’ll protect you but I want you to lose the anger you have with me first, we will not get far if we hold grudges, I don’t know if this woman of the woods, feeds off of anger or not, but I do know from what I have learned here in Equestria, that no friendship can stand if everyone is mad at one another.) Kahmey explained (Alright, I do forgive you, but not just because you said that, but because I know now that Cozy Glow is the one who made your curiosity get the best of you.) Twilight replied (Alright, I’ll keep you safe.)
So they ventured into the everfree forest in search of the blood skull.
Kahmey, was leading the way to the cave where he knew that the woman of the woods was when he spotted an ursa major in the middle of the path with it’s innards ripped right out and made into another symbol, only this time the bones were being used as a stand. Kahmey was getting ready to hurl when he heard a cackle from whom he knew was the woman of the woods.
(Let’s move, we need to get to that cave, don’t touch any of the symbols.) Kahmey yelled
The two unicorns hauled ass behind Kahmey then they suddenly reached the cave. They were rather afraid of going in there. Kahmey pulled out his sword and made his way to the back of the group.
(I’ll make sure she doesn’t get us from behind.) Kahmey said ready to attack anything that tries to get them. (Thanks Kahmey, I’ll keep my eyes peeled for the blood skull.) said Twilight
They had no luck finding the blood skull, but they eventually came across something they didn’t expect to find.
(Look Kahmey, this is something I don’t think I saw in the book.) said Twilight (This looks like a throne room.) said Kahmey (It’s wonderful isn’t it) (Yes it is Starlight but it could use a little work.) Princess Twilight replied (Uh Twilight, I didn’t say that.) said Starlight (Okay girls you two look for the blood skull, I’ll handle the woman of the woods.) Kahmey said lunging at the woman of the woods
Princess Twilight and Starlight Glimmer continued their search for the blood skull while Kahmey kept the woman of the woods busy.
Two hours passed and Kahmey was starting to get tired, he wasn’t expecting the woman to give up nor was he expecting to defeat her since it wasn’t night time, it couldn’t be night time since they came to the cave in the afternoon, but Kahmey was willing to buy the time for Princess Twilight and Starlight to find the blood skull and capture the woman of the woods, or better yet, destroy the blood skull and put an end to this madness.
(Princess Twilight, have you found the blood skull yet?) Kahmey yelled out asking the two ponies (Not yet, there’s more back here than we expected.) Twilight replied (Please don’t look too hard or you’ll never find it and we’ll be back to square one.) Kahmey replied
The woman of the woods gave out three words.
(You can’t win.) the woman said looking into Kahmey’s red eyes
Kahmey was not gonna give into that small three word sentence. He was prepared to fight to the death with the woman of the woods, in future time. Two more hours passed and Kahmey was losing strength, the two ponies had given up on trying to find the blood skull, but they had no way to get out of the cave to get away from the woman of the woods and teleport back into Ponyville, but then they eventually got a break. A manticore bagan walking into the cave, and the woman’s attention was brought away from Kahmey and she went over and attacked it, giving Kahmey and the two ponies a chance to escape. They ran passed the woman and manticore, out of the cave and Twilight teleported them back into Ponyville. They went back to the castle where Kahmey fell to the floor and passed out. Twilight brought him to the library and put him down on the pile of cushions
(Twilight, how are we gonna find the blood skull in all of those limbs, vines and brambles?) Starlight asked (I don’t know, I think she has put it in there somewhere to keep anypony or in this case anydoggy from finding it.) Twilight replied (Well, I think we need to take some extra action.) Starlight mentioned (What kind of action?) Twilight asked (Well, Kahmey’s only ability is that sword he has and I think he should learn magic.) Starlight said looking at the book of chaos magic she had been reading a few nights ago. (How is he supposed to learn magic or even perform it?!) Twilight exclaimed (Well he has paws and so does *gulp* Discord.) Starlight said very hesitantly (WHAT?!) Twilight shouted (Well, it’s not like chaos magic is any worse than what the woman of the woods is capable of. You saw what it was doing to that manticore and you saw what it did to the ursa major, the ursa minor and even the cockatrice.) Starlight replied (Well, that is a good point. Alright, we’ll get Discord involved.) Twilight said agreeing with Starlight.
The next day, Kahmey woke up to the familiar voice of Discord. He got up off the cushions and made his way to the throne room to see what was going on. When he got into the room he was instantly curious as of what was going on.
He was shocked at the answer when he asked.
(You want to help me do magic?) Kahmey asked (Yes and I’m the one for the task of helping you.) Discord replied (But why? Also how am I gonna do magic?) Kahmey asked (I’ll tell you that in the lesson, but first we need to get somewhere where we won’t hurt anypony during practice. The everfree forest is out of options because of the woman of the woods so I’ll pop us to my realm instead, after all, it is chaos based magic you will be learning.) Discord stated (Wait, chaos magic?) Kahmey said in a shocked tone (Yes, if you want to defeat the woman of the woods, then this is the best way to go. So let’s get going.) Discord said teleporting them to his realm of chaos.
In the chaos capital that Discord created, Kahmey began his magic lessons. Kahmey was started out with a simple trick. He was supposed to turn tree upside down.
(Now all you have to do is concentrate on that pink tree, focus your energy into your paw and snap your claws.) said Discord
Kahmey went to do the trick, but he put too much energy into the trick, instead of turning it upside down, he made it explode.
(Well, that wasn’t bad, not what I wanted, but not bad.) said Discord
Kahmey went for another tree and tried again. This time, he put half the energy into this attempt and this time he succeeded in turning the tree upside down.
(Excellent! Now let’s try teleporting. This one is a little more difficult because it requires more focus. One reason being that we’re not unicorns the other because you’re not snapping your claws for this one.) said Discord (Then how do I teleport if I’m not gonna snap my claws?) Kahmey asked (Just concentrate on where you want to go and focus your energy into going there with your mind.) Discord explained
So Kahmey focused on going to his house in Equestria. He then went to teleport himself there. He arrived in front of his back door, then he teleported back to where his lessons were being taught.
(Great job Kahmey, now for popping objects into your paw, next to you or onto you. This one is more tricky because you have to focus on three things at once. You have to focus on the object you want, where you want it and teleporting it, so you snap your claws for this one.) Discord explained
So Kahmey wanted his sovereign sword in his paw, so he focused on his sword. He snapped his claws and got his sword.
(Perfect. Now we’re gonna do two more tricks and then we’ll call this session done. Let’s try a transformation trick. This one you must visualize what you want to turn the object into, I want you to turn that statue of me into Fluttershy.) Discord explained again (Alright just let me remember what she looks like.) said Kahmey
So Kahmey looked at that statue and turned it into a statue of Fluttershy with his mind.
(Amazing! Just one more trick. Snap your claws and teleport us back to Twilight’s castle. It’s very similar to using your mind but instead of your mind you use your claws.) said Discord
So Kahmey brought them back to Equestria in Twilight’s castle. There him and Discord shook paws and Discord left.
(So Kahmey, what can you do?) Starlight asked (For starters I can do this.) Kahmey said popping his sovereign sword into his paw. (That’s awesome. Now you should be able to do more than just slash the woman of the woods.) said Twilight. (Just remember Kahmey, with power, comes responsibility.) said Starlight. (Don’t worry, I’m not gonna turn evil just because I can do magic.) said Kahmey before he teleported into the coffee shop in Canterlot and ordered his usual coffee.
(Okay, now it is a new feelling, being able to do magic, but I’m sure I can control it and even be able to do more than what I have already learned from Discord.) Kahmey said to himself
So Kahmey finished his coffee, and popped over to the ursa cave where the woman of the woods lives. He hoped he could find the blood skull and use his new abilities to defeat the woman of the woods for good.
Kahmey popped over to Celestia and Luna’s old castle and waited for Celestia to lower the sun and Luna to raise the moon. Twelve hours passed and it was night time so Kahmey hoped he could catch the woman of the woods off guard and maybe just send her to tartarus instead of killing her. He looked for any sign of her and when he had three hours of no luck finding her in the everfree forest he went to the ursa cave and peaked inside, there she was, sitting on a rock eating some pukwudgies. Kahmey barely hurled but managed to swallow it. He made the rock explode, throwing the woman against the cave wall, and when that happened he quickly popped back over to the castle of the two sisters, he knew she was gonna be very mad after he destroyed her meal and he didn’t want to be there for that temper. A couple hours passed and he went back to search for the blood skull, but when he got there he was surprised by the woman of the woods. Apparently she waited for him after he blew up her meal. When she caught him he teleported outside the cave, but after he did, she began chasing him, he got his sword and swung it at her throat, but he actually hurt her this time. This time he began attacking her.
(So it’s true, you have to be fought at night. In that case, let’s dance.) said Kahmey (You can’t win.) said the woman
So Kahmey lunged at the woman of the woods, but that wasn’t his only attack, he felt like he could focus his energy through sword. So he used his sword to perform another trick. He started magically moving vines with his sword, the vines began moving like snakes and he wrapped them around the woman. He started tightening the vines around her, but the vines broke and the woman came at him with sharp fingernails, ready to claw through Kahmey’s skin, but Kahmey was not about to surrender to this horror show of a human creature, he popped away from there and into the cave. Fortunately, when he did, he felt something solid role away from this back paw. He looked down and he saw a red skull on the cave floor, it was the blood skull, so he picked it up and teleported it into tartarus. He walked out of the cave to see the woman of the woods fading away.
(Yeah fade away you ugly bag of manure.) Kahmey said putting his sword back into it’s shuck. (You can’t win that easily.) said the woman of the woods.
Kahmey ignored the words and just teleported back into Canterlot. He waited outside the coffee shop until it was opened. When the shop opened he went in for his usual, dark with four sugars. He had a visitor shortly after he sat down at the booth of his choice.
The visitor was a royal guard unicorn. The guard sat down in the booth and gave Kahmey a very disturbing statement.
(Sir, I don’t know why you sent the woman of the woods to tartarus. The reason I’m here is because, well, creatures in tartarus are being killed by the woman and even cerberus is no match for her.) said the guard. (But I made sure she would be in a cage. How is she out?) Kahmey asked (Well, our routine checkup officer stated that all of the cages were pulled apart and all the creatures dead, he also said that cerberus was in a battle with her but it looked like the woman of the woods was winning. There was a lot of blood coming out of cerberus, he will soon be dead and the woman of the woods will be free to return to the everfree forest.) the guard explained.
Kahmey began to grow angry. He returned to Ponyville to tell Twilight the news on the woman of the woods. When he got to the castle, he could tell in her face that she was already aware of the situation.
(I can’t believe it either Kahmey, I can’t believe this woman was able to do this even in tartarus.) said Twilight (Well I have a really stupid idea that just might work.) said Kahmey (And what would that be?) Twilight asked (If she is able to escape tartarus then I’m gonna go wait on her and when she comes around, I’m gonna kill her dead.) Kahmey explained.
Twilight and Starlight had no words to explain how insane Kahmey was coming off. However the idea just might work, but Kahmey wasn’t gonna go into the everfree forest today, he was too tired from not getting any sleep last night. Kahmey stayed awake the whole day though, he was exhausted but he was determined to stay awake to do some extra reading on the woman of the woods, he didn’t care about being physically or mentally exhausted, he wanted to see if there was something else she was capable of or some kind of strength she had that he missed reading about. It was nearing night time and nothing else was being mentioned about the strength she had to have used to open the doors to get out of tartarus. He was too tired to continue reading and went over to the cushions to get some sleep, he once again had Spike sleeping on his chest.
The next morning, Kahmey woke up and had to wake Spike up. When they were both awake Spike asked if Kahmey truly had no problem with him sleeping on his chest. Kahmey’s answer was once again, no with the same requirement, as long as Spike didn’t wake him up it was alright. They went over to the coffee shop for a coffee. Kahmey was quiet the whole time until Spike asked him a question.
(Are you alright Kahmey, you’re very quiet?) Spike asked (I’m just wishing I had done more to this woman’s madness.) Kahmey replied (Well, I think you’re dwelling on that too much, there’s no way you could have known she’d escape Tartarus.) Spike said trying to brighten the canine’s mood.
So they finished their coffee and went back to the castle. When they got to the castle, they heard what sounded like a group meeting going on in the throne room. Kahmey decided to listen in on the situation.
(I just think it would be best if we stick around with Kahmey, just in case he gets into a tight spot.) Twilight said (Well don’t you think we should bring it up with him? You know if that’s alright with you.) said Fluttershy (Look Fluttershy, Discord has already taught him how to do magic, I don’t think he will be needing us that much.) Twilight replied (I agree. He didn’t seem to have a lot of trouble the last time, even though it turned tartarus into a blood and innard bath.) said Starlight (Well let’s just wait for him to get back before we take this any further.) said Applejack
When he heard that, he went to open the door until Spike burped up a letter. It was a letter to Twilight. Then Kahmey got the letter and opened the door and walked into the throne room. He handed Twilight the letter and teleported a chair into the room and had a seat at the table.
(So what does the letter say?) Kahmey asked (That Cozy Glow has left the hospital and was seen going into the everfree forest.) said Twilight (She’s gonna get herself killed!) Kahmey said leaving in a rush. (Don’t go in there yet!) said Starlight (I agree, we need to talk to you first.) said RainbowDash (What is it?) Kahmey asked (We need to know if you want one or two of us to sit back in the forest and give you back up if needed?) said Applejack (That would be helpful so I’ll think about it.) Kahmey said as he bolted out the door.
When he got into the everfree forest, he could feel that the energy level from the woman of the woods was stronger. He had no idea how that was even possible, but even with the high energy he pressed on. He went back to the last place where he found Cozy Glow, but when he got there she was not there, but he saw signs of something being there, a puddle of blood was in the spot where Cozy was first found. Kahmey didn’t know if this was Cozy’s blood or just another forest creature, either way there was a blood trail leading into the cave and Kahmey went into the cave. When he went in the cave, he almost walked into a symbol made of the large intestine of a small creature, Kahmey almost threw up his coffee when he saw that. When he got further into the cave he saw it. Cozy glow had been ripped open and the woman was eating her innards. Kahmey threw up which caught the woman’s attention. When she saw him, she came after him. Kahmey grabbed his sword and swung it at her neck.
Kahmey just engaged the woman of the woods in battle. He heard Twilight and Starlight off in the distance and he knew he had good backup, so it was time for battle.
(So, we meet again, only this time is gonna be different, this time, only one of us is gonna walk out of here alive, and the other will be left here to rot.) said Kahmey holding up his sovereign sword. (You won’t win.) said the woman
So Kahmey used his sword to guide vines and brambles around the woman. He was prepared to fight to the death, but he was not about to strike, he remembered that he could not kill the woman in the daylight, instead he brought the woman out of the cave. Kahmey teleported out of that area and bunked up in Celestia and Luna’s old castle, and he took a nap until the sun went down. When he woke up it was night, so he went back to that area, but when he got there, the woman was free. Kahmey didn’t care, he only cared about killing her, so he went to search the cave to see if she was in there. When he got into the cave, he saw her put Cozy Glow’s head skin on like a hat. Kahmey was pissed off at that, so he made the rock she was sitting on explode. The woman of the woods charged at him and he pulled his sword out and swung it at her chest, she held her bleeding chest and Kahmey decided to pull her out of the cave by her black mangled hair.
(Release me.) the woman demanded (Not happening bitch.) Kahmey replied.
When he got her outside, he threw her against a tree, she got back up and ran at Kahmey, but he had other plans, instead of the woman attacking him, he used his sword to make a vine snatch her up and away from him. The vine snatched her up by her neck he started punching her in the face, in the stomach and in her chest where her heart supposedly was. Eventually the vine snapped and she hit the ground with a big thud, and Kahmey began kicking her in the head. When the woman got up, she went from in front of Kahmey all the way to where Starlight was standing. When Starlight started screaming, the woman went to attack but was thrown away by Kahmey.
(Hey bitch, this is not her fight its mine and yours. You will now pay for attacking my friend.) Kahmey said pointing his sword at the woman (You’re gonna lose.) the woman said pointing at Kahmey’s heart area
That’s when Kahmey pulled his sword back and cut the woman’s finger off and then cut the tip of her nose off. The woman fled and went for Twilight until she was snatched up by another vine, she looked over her shoulder and saw Kahmey with his sword pointed at her face. He began running at her and she knew he was gonna send his sword through her skull. Before Kahmey could put his sword in her face, she broke loose and grabbed his leg, then Kahmey fell into some poison oak. Even though he was very itchy, Kahmey went and cut the woman’s ankle off. The woman let out an ear piercing scream and teleported away.
Kahmey began sniffing for the woman’s scent, he found the direction she was in, he went the direction she was in. He followed the scent all the way to Celestia and Luna’s old castle. He went into the castle and sniffed for the woman, he began to follow it to the library. When he walked into the library, he saw a hand come at his face and he teleported into the other end of the library. He then went straight for the woman and cut her hand off. Blood was gushing onto the floor and the woman was screaming in agony.
(You’re the one who’s gonna lose you rotten little bitch.) said Kahmey (Bad dog.) the woman said pointing at Kahmey (That’s it, you’re dead.) Kahmey said slicing the woman’s stomach open.
After he cut the contents of her stomach out, Kahmey chopped her right arm off.
(You took the lives of many creatures, you destroyed tartarus, you even took the life of little filly, a defenseless little filly, and now, you’re gonna die. You like to kill creatures of Equestria and rip their innards out? Well then, let’s see how you like it!) said Kahmey.
Then Kahmey pulled back and slammed his right paw into the woman’s chest, he then pulled out her heart and stuck it into her mouth and forced it down into her lungs, then he cut off her head to make sure she was dead.
(Welcome to Equestria bitch.) Kahmey said teleporting a cigarette into his right paw and lighting it
Kahmey relaxed in Luna’s old throne to smoke his cigarette and have a good break before going home. He was half way done with his break when Twilight and Starlight came in.
(Kahmey, are you in here?) Twilight called out (I found him. He’s in the throne room.) Starlight replied (Sorry girls, I just had to have a smoke break.) Kahmey replied (Well hurry up, we need to get back to the castle and relay the message that the woman of the woods is defeated.) Twilight replied (Yes mam.) Kahmey said taking his last puff.
Kahmey got rid of his cigarette and the three went back to the castle, Twilight sent the message to Princess Celestia that the woman of the woods is dead.
The creatures in the everfree forest no longer have to live in fear, Kahmey can sleep much better at night, Zecora can finally leave her hut, and Cozy Glow can finally rest in peace.
