> My Name Is Branwen, And This Is My Book > by TRIBOT 4000 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Entry 1 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/9/2018 12:35 AM Hello, whoever you are. My name is Branwen. I am a Griffon but I do not currently reside in the Griffon lands. I took a holiday from my regular job: being a therapist. Before becoming a therapist, I started out as a book editor, and I was pretty dang good at it. My main thing was character development. I enjoyed that job so much, but there aren't very many writers in Griffonstone. Even minotaurs write more than us. But, why am I telling you this? Because I need an outlet. It's really late right now and I haven't been able to sleep a wink. I keep thinking about my life and what it has turned out to be. I decided that as long as I'm up, I might as well write something, and I don't do that often. Contrary to popular belief, editors aren't that great at writing stories of their own. We lack the imagination. I on the other hand happen to be a bit more imaginative than most. I have written my own stories, and a number of them have become best sellers, but it was all written under a pen name. Right now, however, I plan on doing something different. Rather than change an already existing story, or creating a story about imaginary characters, I'm going to tell you about myself. I don't plan on anyone reading this before I die, so it shouldn't cause any security issues (not that anyone I know has security issues in the first place). There are some situations that I will have to change the names of those I know, for their safety. Not everything in this is going to be completely accurate. What you believe is up to you. I guess I should start now, but where to begin? I guess...at the beginning. I am a bastard. Literally. I am by definition, a bastard. My mother and father were not married when they 'rolled in the hay' so to speak. I also have next to no information on who my father is. For all I know, he's dead. I'll admit this kinda tore me up a few times in life, but I've gotten over it. My mother, Samara, wasn't the greatest of griffins before I was born. I don't know the whole story, mainly because I haven't felt the need to ask, but apparently she did a lot of horrible and immoral things as a teenager. Her and my Aunt Verge both. Neither of them are perfect now, but from what I know, they are both way better off then they were. Anyways, my mother never once even considered having an abortion which I have to say, made me really, really happy. She had me and raised me for about a year or two before I was taken from her. remember what I said about her not being so great back then? Yeah, I don't need to explain why I was taken. I would've been placed in an orphanage had I not been adopted by probably the most important griffin in my life: Grandma Kalila. My grandmother...is a loving creature, even if her ways of showing it don't match up with pony ways. She is very strict, refuses to let her rules be broken. She is also very religious, and taught me from the moment I could understand about Catholicism. She taught me about the coming Savior, the Final Judgement, God, and I firmly believe everything. This isn't a book about religion though, so I won't preach to you. As I was saying, my grandmother adopted me. I frankly can't say why, nor can she. I guess she didn't want me to grow up in an environment that would take me no where in life. Can't say I blame her. Grandma raised me in a little white cottage for some years. I don't have many memories of those times. I remember the building, the backyard, and my school, but nothing specific. I will admit, I lived a very privileged childhood, or at least, as privileged as you can get when you don't have any friends. So, fun fact: I am an extrovert. Always have been. You'd think that with my personality, I'd have tons of friends. But no, I didn't. My thoughts on fun differed so greatly from the other foals and cubs in kindergarten. We never seemed to agree. If I wanted to play spies, they wanted to play superheroes, if I wanted to play superheroes, they'd play Congo Line. So, for most of my kindergarten recesses, I sat under a tree, by myself. Maybe I should have compromised and just went along with whatever they played. I just didn't want to. I honestly enjoyed sitting there a little bit more than playing. A little bit. School wasn't much better. My teacher, Miss Piggybaker, didn't like me that much. Now, I know what you're thinking: Ugh, why does every student say that about their teachers? It's annoying! You have a full right to that opinion, but buddy...I'll be damned if it wasn't true. I can even understand why she didn't like me: I'M TOO HYPER! Or at least I used to be. Now, this may sound a like a contradiction to my stating that I sat under a tree for recess, but consider this. Outside you have trees, plants, dirt, the sky, and so many beautiful things. Indoors...you have to make with what you got. I felt confined, and my body doesn't react well with close spaces. Thus, I was technically a nuisance and had to sit in a corner, away from the other students. You can guess what that did for my reputation. I do have one very prominent memory from my time in kindergarten. Once, I discovered something really cool with the erasers: they bounce (before we go any further I must say this. I know Equestria and most nations use only ink, but for students it's different. You have to be able to erase). This simple discovery filled me with elation. These boring little devices, designed to rid the world of mistakes...BOUNCE! It was too much, I had to show someone. I got up and went over the nearest student I could see. Just my luck it happened to be Shadow Streak, my first crush. Streak was pony (yes, my first crush was a pony, get over it) with a jet black mane and tail. Her coat was a beautiful amber color and her eyes were a deep ocean blue. My heart had been taken by her the moment I'd seen her, and like all good griffons filled with puppy love, I did not make a single move...until today. After my discovery, I went over to show her. "Watch this. This is so cool." I whispered to her so the teacher wouldn't notice. I dropped the eraser on the table in front of her, it bounced...and hit her in the freakin' eye! That's right, you heard me. I hit her in the eye with the eraser. Yes, it was an accident, but me getting up while we were supposed to be working? Not an accident. She immediately cried out in pain and I got in trouble. The rest of the day was filled with shame, guilt, and silence on my part. I don't remember my teacher telling my Grandmother but that's probably because my Grandmother didn't like how my teacher taught. Another memory I have from school is even less pleasant. It's not just a memory of an event, but a memory of a very particular Zebra: Joash. That piece of crap kid was probably the most infuriating kid I knew. He mocked the teacher, talked behind her back, and was rude as hell. But guess what? Joash didn't get in trouble as much as I did! What's worse is that, because of my seating, I was the only one with a perfectly clear view of him, thus, I saw all his little behind-the-teachers-back antics. Sometimes I just wanted to punch his lights out as he made faces at her. I've never held anything against her, even if she wasn't entirely in the right. But this? This made me mad. One particular day that just hurts me to think about is when Jaosh came back after being absent for a few days. When he did, all the other kids wanted to play with him. He was the star of the playground that day, and I couldn't understand for the life of me. He'd always been a jerk as far as I knew, and here he was being honored with the greatest honor a child got in kindergarten. I didn't join in, and decided to sit under my tree. What's painful for me though is when I learned years later that he had a terrible home life. From what I heard his dad was horrible. I have no excuse for the hatred I'd felt for him before. I let hatred fill my heart, and that tore me up, so hearing about his home life being so bad made me feel...I don't know...like a bastard, but more...in the modern sense of the word. > Entry 2 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/29/2018 1:55 PM My Aunt Raw and Uncle Jargon are here today. Raw is a Griffin and Jargon is a pony. That goes about as well as you'd expect. Anyways, I'm telling this because, well, they're annoying, very annoying. I'm just glad I was able to make it look like I'm working on school by writing here. Now...what to tell you today. Hmm... Ooh. I know: my first encounter with the pony princess known to many as the Great Celestia! Now, now. Don't be jealous. It's true that not everypony gets to meet her, but you have to consider that she's a very benevolent ruler. I've always preferred Luna though, from physical standpoint. I'm tall for age and species so I am taller than Princess Luna if I stand on my back paws. It's slightly arousing and for those of you who don't know what that word means...I doubt you actually have this book. Anyways, I met Princess Celestia and Princess Luna because, go figure, Celestia is a fan of my books. How she found out I was the one who wrote them I can't say, nor do I know, but I'm sure the Goddess of the Sun has her ways. As I was saying, I had been invited to the castle (well, less invited and more royally decreed), so I packed my bags and headed off, my expenses were being payed for so... heh, free vacation. Mind you this is after I had quit writing, but still...it was the flipping princesses. When I arrived at the castle, I was lead up directly to Princess Celestias private quarters. When I was told this, I honestly wasn't quite sure what to think. My first thoughts were of course that this might not be a strictly platonic visit. When logic set in my mind once more I realized that Celestia inviting me over for such an event would be completely preposterous and ridiculous. Still...the thoughts remained. When I first walked into the room, the door shut automatically behind me. Inside there was a Huge Princess sized bed on side of the room, a few shelves, a dresser, a few pillows on the floor, a small tea table with tea-type accessories, and strangely enough, no princess. Nothing. I saw neither hide nor hare of her. For a moment I thought I'd been led to the wrong room. Instead of bothering the guards, I decided to make myself comfortable. She wouldn't invite me here and set up this little seating arrangement for me to stand and not take advantage of her hospitality, right? I took a seat on the smaller pillow on one side of the tea table. As I sat there, I took notice of the beautiful designs on the ceiling. It gave me an idea for a small story and I almost reached for my notebook, forgetting that I hadn't brought it with me, and forgetting that I don't write anymore. While I sat in that little room, alone, in the dark somewhat (we griffins have excellent sight), Celestia had been in her bathroom, showering. Now, before I go on, should Celestia ever read this, I ask: how was I supposed to know you silence spells in your room? I had no idea you were in there, nor did the guards. Needless to say, Celestia stepped out of her bathroom, soaked, completely nude (though all she wears is a torc, a crow, and some horseshoes), and mumbling to herself about forgetting things. She took no notice of me as she bent down and searched under her bed and around her room revealing Sorry for that. I may or may not have smeared out an entire section of me describing Princess Celestias...uh...well you know. ANYWAYS, back to the topic. When Celestia did finally turn around to head back into the bathroom, , a fresh bar of soap in her magic, she noticed me. Now, I would like to explain something. You see many incredible things when you've lived the life I have. I have seen monsters, battles, friendships made, friendships broken, life, death, but right at that moment I saw what had to be the most adorable thing I have ever come across: a blushing Princess Celestia. She was so cute at that moment, I had the sudden urge to remove her head, find a necromancer to freeze her expression like that for all eternity and then just stare at it whenever I felt unhappy or depressed about anything. If that were a regular treatment for PTSD, the therapeutic industry would go out of business. With that having been said, Celestia did her best to laugh off the awkward situation, but we both now knew that I had probably seen the, statistically speaking, most sought out sight of all time. Quickly as possible, and with her rear pointed in the coincidentally opposite direction of me, Celestia made her way back into the bathroom to finish up her session. A few short minutes later and I was greeted with Princess Celestia, still lacking regalia but now sporting a towel. She came over and sat down in the pillow on the other side of the tea table, still blushing slightly. Other than the little incident, the exchange was actually quite pleasant. I asked why she wanted to see me, and she responded saying that she was a fan of my books. I have to say, it's nice to know that my books resonated with someone more than the common pony. The fact that a nation leader would take any interest in my work was also amazing. It boosted my ego up a bit and gave me a bit more confidence. In fact, it's the reason I've been contemplating becoming a writer again. Anyway, after that we talked about our jobs (I use that term lightly), our lives in and out of our jobs (again used lightly), and various other things. Turns out, Celestia doesn't run as much of the country as ponies think she does. She's entirely capable of it, but she's hires a large number of ponies to help run the country for her. I'd probably do the same too if I had the bits. Don't tell anyone that though. There'd be a national epidemic. > Entry 3 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/30/2018 11:56 PM Today has been interesting. I got a significant amount of work done around the house and got a visit from Luna. Anyways, where did I leave off the other day? Oh yes. Halfway through my visit with Princess Celestia, Princess Luna came into the room enraged. From what I heard, Prince Blueblood was being a ass (no offense to actual asses out there, it's just an expression) and Luna was through dealing with it. So Luna bursts in, comes over, and starts ranting to her sister about what happened. When she finishes, Tia motioned towards me with a hoof. Luna sees me and turns beet red. Quite adorable really. What I find interesting is how ponies place those two so high on a pedestal. I'll admit, yes, alicorns are a different species altogether, but they certainly aren't celestial (ironic isn't it?) beings of perfection. They are just very powerful ponies with three different types of magic inside them: earth, pegasi, and unicorn. That however, doesn't make them the most powerful. I've read about zebras who possessed more power than the two of them combined. There are dragons that exist today capable of putting alicorns down like there's no tomorrow. Zebras just don't have the resources anymore nor the desire and dragons are lazy. That's putting it lightly. I guess that's partially the reason the reason the princesses like me as a friend. To put it in a vulgar way, I don't give a damn what they are. I care who they are. If they were cruel, bloodthirsty, or any number of things, I would have been slightly hostile. I understand ruling with a stern claw/hoof. There's just a few lines I don't like crossed, and neither of the princesses cross them. Anyway, Luna blushes and tries to stutter out an explanation. I put up a claw and explained that it didn't bother me and that I wasn't here on business. Once the tension lowered, Luna joined us for tea and we discussed my books and our own lives. All in all, it was a nice evening. > Entry 4 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1/9/2019 1:15 AM I'm tired. I am so very tired. I've been working hard on a new series of books, I don't know why I havent't been taking care of myself. I've been doing research, taking notes, attempting to write a chapter, hating it, and starting over. I haven't been able to rest in a little over a few weeks now. I'm not in good shape. I hurt all over and my rear end is sick of sitting for so long. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we continue to work our way through each day. wallowing in self-pity, anger, pain, and sadness? There are more bad emotions than bad ones. Think about it. Anger, sadness, jealousy, fear. In contrast, you have happiness. How is that a fair fight? It's not. It's not fair. The world isn't fair. The world decides whether or not you're worth it's time and then chucks you fast one. It tells you to get up and try and again before giving you a beat down because you weren't good enough. The world hates you, the world hates us. the world hates everything... and we hate ourselves. Yes, much as you don't want to admit it, we hate ourselves. This hatred is a burning feeling that we've felt for our entire lives. How do we do this? We compare ourselves to greater beings, we jokingly reprimand ourselves and call ourselves names in for the purpose of comedy. But we love ourselves too. When we help others we feel a warm beating in our chest. When we make others laugh, we want to laugh with them. Sometime when we compare ourselves to other things, we realized how much better we are or how much better we can be. Hate and love don't go hand in hand. They are an endless battle. Continuously trying to gain possession of your soul. We fight till we die. Then we can rest. Until then. We are nothing but our selves. That's not good enough... it's better. 1/17/2019 12:21 AM I've been spending a long time in Equestria, the land of ponies, where singing songs is a daily occurrence. I've moved into a small village in a forrest next to Galloping Gorge, a short distance from Vanhoover. First time arriving here, I found it a little strange. Most ponies are surprised to see a Griffon in pony towns. I've gotten tons of looks over the years. Here? Nothing. I got some waves, a few smiles, and possibly a sidelong glance. But surprise or shock was the last thing on any of their faces. Turns out, the village privately excluded itself from Equestria. I'm basically living in a different country. The reason they did this only became clear after I went to the library to get some quiet time. The librarian...was a changeling. Yes, you heard me. The librarian was a changeling. That's the half of it though. He also wasn't colorful like many of the other changelings that were being slowly accepted, but it turns out he and other changelings had been living in this village for years, long before Chrysalis' little invasion. That little inquisitive side of me may have taken over because I started throwing questions as the poor guy. Didn't mean to...just...I had a lot of information I wanted to know. After all, it's not everyday that you find a village, separated from Equestria, coexisting with a different species. The changeling librarian went by the name Cicada. He wore a pair of comically large glasses, and a light blue thermal. He's in his eighties (which happens to be young for changelings) and is the youngest of three siblings, a brother and sister. His brother, Trochanter, is the oldest, and happens to be the real reason as to the villages accepting nature. Apparently he was found just outside the village, half-dead, by one of the residents. Whoever the pony was, he took in the changeling and with the help of a unicorn who had been passing through town at the time, nursed him back to health. Everything changed (pun not intended) after that. A few years afterwards, the invasion happened and Royal Guards were sent from Canterlot to take him in, but by the time they got there, the entire town was on Trochanter side, and refused to let him go. There was almost a full-scale battle, but such a terrible event was deterred by Trochanter, who gave himself up peacefully. Several secret hearings were heard, until the decision had been made: life in prison. The resident who had saved Trochanter organized the town, and seceded from Equestria. They made sure to do so in a private manner but proclaimed that Trochanter was a resident, and that Equestria keeping him prisoner without due reason. Needless to say, Trochanter was returned. Rumor has it though that he made a deal with Celestia. He found a changeling who could be a representative for the new changeling empire. A changeling by the name of Thorax or something. Cicada suggested that I go to meet Trochanter, and his pony friend. Deciding that I had nothing better to do, I took my leave, after getting directions of course. It was a long walk, but I'll admit it felt short. The smiles and waves I received were very inviting and pleasant. As I passed the bar, I saw a few fellow Griffons. I don't know why I was surprised. Some of them stopped me and invited me in for a drink. I kindly declined and went on my way, not before eyeing a few of the females. What? I'm only mortal. The house was at the very edge of town. It was two floored, thatch-roofed, and showed signs of having encountered fires. I got this from the remaining burn marks and scratches that adorned parts of it. One of the windows was boarded over. I chose not to question it for now. I knocked and someone screamed. I heard some shouting, a few cluttering sounds, possibly an explosion, and...I think laughing? I was about to knock again when the door opened. There stood a changeling, covered in what smelled like cookie batter. He was sweating and smiling. I took notice that his eyes were each different colors, one blue and one green. I'd never heard of a changeling having heterochromia iridium, but I guess it makes sense. I didn't major in biology though. "Yes?" he asked, "Is there something you need? We're kind of held up right now. Unless...Oh!" his face shifted into surprise and then happiness, "Please come in!" He grabbed my claw and brought me inside. I think I was just a little too surprised to say anything. When I was indoors I took notice of the interior. It was simple a enough. The living area had a couch and a few chairs. That wasn't the strange part. What was weird was that some strange wooden contraption was in the living room. An earth pony walked out from behind it and started moving parts and tying certain parts together with rope. There was method to whatever he was doing, but I couldn't see it. The purpose for whatever he was building was completely unclear. His attention was finally brought to me when Trochanter called his name, Tremor. He was brown coated and grey maned. His eyes were a bright burning red. His tale color reminded me of a foggy mist during the night. What I found awfully surprising was his lack of a cutie mark. Both of his flanks were bare. I thought it best not to bring it up and instead just smiled and nodded. He didn't smile at me but he nodded back. Perhaps he was used to Trochanter bringing in strangers. -- My question was eventually answered though. I hadn't noticed but apparently they were renting out an extra room on the top floor. I didn't plan on staying but after some thought, I realized I didn't actually have any ideas. I'd been passing through the village to get to Vanhoover. I was going to meet a cousin there before getting a hotel a room. This...might actually be a better arrangement. I'll have to go to Vanhoover to meet my cousin still, but now I had a place to stay, and the rent costs a whole lot less than a hotel. Oh, and there's a zebra in the room across from mine I think.