> The Puppeteer
>  by GravelordNito
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Tangled Strings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yes, it's the very reason I live and breathe," a man dressed in a long, flowing grey overcoat finished to a young lady in the back of the bar, gently smiling at her perplexed expression as he turned and made his way towards the exit.

"Just where do you think you're goin', pal?" An overweight drunkard slurred, his voice abruptly silencing the ambient babble of the bustling bar in the evening; suddenly, nothing could be heard but the heavy pattering of rain on the skylights. The man halted mid-step, sighing softly and snapping his fingers a single time. As he quickly glanced around the room, he could see nothing but the inclined heads and frozen expressions of both the bar's staff and patrons.

The drunkard swivelled round in his stool and grunted. The sweat on his balding head glistened like an oil slick. He looked expectantly towards the man as he pulled the front of his jeans back up over his bulging gut. After a brief moment of pause, the more sober man turned towards his aggressor, his emerald eyes taking on a momentary glint before he lifted his chin and gave a warm smile.

"It's not a matter of thinking, my friend; I know where I'm going."

The rabble-rouser raised his eyebrows, chuckling slightly as he turned to his friends and shared a disbelieving laugh. He then rose from his chair with a smack of his lips after finishing his drink, sauntering over to the man with a confident swing in his step. Following close behind were a couple of his friends, light smirks on their faces as their eyes darted along the lone man's exceedingly tall frame. The man removed his overcoat as the group approached; with a neat fold, it was draped over a nearby chair.

He looked to be just over six and a half feet tall, in his early 30's and built like a tank; he had short, dark brown hair that contrasted with his pale complexion and looked to have been painstakingly styled to perfection, yet showed no signs of having involved any excess of product. His stubble was somewhat short, yet cleanly cut to an even symmetry. He wore a navy blue blazer that was left open, revealing a white t-shirt underneath. He also wore a pair of dark grey suit pants tailored to suit his abundant musculature.

As the group drew closer, the men felt their confidence fade as they saw nothing but warmth in his emerald eyes; they seemed to dance and glow with mirth in the dim light of the bar in the evening, the unadulterated kindness they emitted throwing the men for a loop in light of the reason for their approach.

Being just shy of six feet tall himself, the drunkard had always been proud of his own impressive stature; however, this man seemed to dwarf even his own frame. After taking a glance back at his friends, he looked up without tilting his head and addressed the man with a smirk.

"I own this place, pal. You can't just come in 'ere, drink up and then fuck off without 'paying the toll' to yours truly. Now, I'm not sure I've seen you 'round 'ere before, so you must be new. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt on this one and assume I didn't hear you correctly..." The smile dropped from his face and he continued in a dangerous, yet slightly drunken, slurring tone, "Now, I'm gonna' ask you again... Where exactly do ya think you're goin'?"

The man remained silent for a few seconds, simply peering down at the drunkard with his gentle poker face in tact. However, he eventually began to move; he dusted down the front of his blazer, before pulling each of his sleeves taut and smoothing down his hair. He then placed a hand on the drunkard's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze before clearing his throat and leaning down towards him. With their faces now mere inches apart, the man's smile grew slightly as he noticed the drunkard suddenly struggling to meet his gaze.

"Before I answer your question: please, let us first become better acquainted with one another! My name is Miles, and I'm pleased to meet you." Miles then pulled back from the drunkard, releasing his shoulder and offering up his hand in a gesture of good will. The drunkard paused for a moment, eyeing the hand in front of him before reaching his own hand out to greet it, and wincing ever so slightly once contact was made. The drunkard's could have easily mistaken his own hand for a water balloon. "You're shaking!" Miles quietly exclaimed in faux concern as he rubbed the back of the drunkard's hand with his own, "Whatever is the matter? Too much to drink?"

"Y-Yeah, I've 'ad a few... Right, lads?" The drunkard asked, turning back to his companions with a nervous smile. The two grunts mumbled a response along the lines of agreement and then fell back into silence. Miles looked into their eyes in turn for a few moments, before he let out a quiet hum of contentment and turned his attention back to the drunkard.

"I'm sorry; I didn't quite catch your name?" Miles questioned as he continued to grip the drunkard's hand.

"Jarvis... I'm Jarvis, and this is Landon and Ethan..." The drunkard seemed lost for words, as he noticed the grip on his hand somehow tighten considerably more, before his arm was almost shaken out of its socket. Miles barked into laughter. One-sided handshakes were a funny thing. After a few moments, he feigned wiping away tears and then settled back down.

"Well, Jarvis - good show, my friend! You're quite the entertainer!" Miles commended as he slapped Jarvis on the back; Jarvis buckled slightly before quickly righting himself.

"Oh, yes, your question. I'll get to that now, Jarvis." Miles' smooth voice rumbled. It was deep, yet immediately lost all joviality, sending chills down Jarvis' spine; it was like the most sickly sweet of sticky caramel, yet it burned scolding hot as it entered his ears and slowly reverberated throughout his entire being. Jarvis was rooted in place, the substance rapidly hardening in his veins. Everyone in the bar now bated their breath in anticipation of Miles' response. However, Jarvis intervened before he could do so.

"O-Oh, yeah! Never mind the question, mate; the moment's passed, anyway..." Jarvis sputtered as he suddenly began trying to tug his hand away from the monster stood before him. In response to his squirming, Miles pulled him closer with his arm, not taking his eyes away from Jarvis' for even a moment as he did so. 

Miles' deadpan expression quickly morphed back into a smile after a minuscule moment of pulling, the whole ordeal lasting for but a mere second. That moment had been a private one, like an undressing of the soul, leaving all laid bare between them. Miles suddenly barked out in laughter once again and jerked Jarvis into a brief, yet bone-crushing embrace, literally yanking him out of his thoughts.

"Ah, well isn't that a shame?! I tell you what... Why don't I buy you boys a drink? Eh? Come on, it'll be fun; let's drink up!" Finally releasing Jarvis, Miles folded his arms behind his back with one hand clasping the other, before walking casually over to the bar and taking a seat on one of the stools. He beckoned Jarvis and his cronies to join him with an inviting smile. Gradually, the regular babble of the bar returned.

Jarvis rubbed his hand nervously once it had finally been released, before wiping it down on his jeans and taking slow, hesitant steps towards Miles. He glanced at his friends as the trio joined Miles at the bar. "So, Jarvis, tell me a little bit about yourself. I assume you're a regular here?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty well known 'round these parts... I practically own this pub!" Jarvis boasted, pulling back his shoulders as he chuckled.

"Yes, you already said that. It must be nice having that kind of community spirit, I suppose. Although, I'm not sure what kind of spirit overcame the room when you first approached me, eh?" Miles winked as he elbowed Jarvis in the side playfully with a chuckle; the drunkard spluttered, prompting he and his friends to laugh nervously along with Miles.

"Ha! W-Well, I wouldn't know... What about you, lads?" Jarvis signalled his friends out of their silence.

"Mmm..."

"I dunno..."

Looking betrayed, Jarvis chose to turn his back on his friends. As though Jarvis's friends had never spoken, Miles muttered under his breath. "Is that right...?"

Silence overtook the group as Miles once again stared at Jarvis, waiting for a reply. Jarvis simply sat still, finding the wooden surface of the bar to be exceedingly interesting, before Miles mercifully broke the tension. "Hmm, I suppose it doesn't matter. Have you lived in Leeds all your life?"

"Well, I've been comin' to this pub since I was old enough to drink," Jarvis replied, letting loose a breath he didn't know he was holding. "How 'bout yourself? You don't sound like you're from 'round these parts."

"Oh, well, you'd be correct in assuming that. I was born and raised in London and lived there most of my life; I moved here a few years ago for a... Change of pace, you could say," Miles said with a chuckle, before continuing in a tone cold enough to freeze over the sun, "however, I do believe I very specifically asked if you've lived here all your life, not how long you've been coming to this pub."

Silence reigned once again in the moments that followed, and Jarvis looked like he was close to losing his dinner. Miles' smile had not wavered. He licked his lips for a moment and waved down the bartender, offering up a £20 note. "Four Red Stags, please. Straight. And would you please be so kind as to get me a new beer mat; some cretin has deemed it necessary to damage this one."

Jarvis let out a weak laugh at Miles' comment, which was swiftly snuffed into a pathetic whimper by a curious sideways glance from Miles. After a few moments of feeling like a puppy being smothered by a pillow, Jarvis was relieved to see their drinks had arrived. He laughed and whimsically returned Miles's slap to his back once the drinks and a new beer mat were placed down in front of them. "I thought we just said I've 'ad too much to drink, mate? Fuckin' Red Stags?! Ha!" 

Miles' smile disappeared immediately, his lips forming into a thin line as he turned away from Jarvis and began to fiddle with his fresh beer mat in an attempt to place it directly in the center of the bar surface. Jarvis immediately caught himself and continued, "B-But of course, I'd never say no to a hearty drink, pal! Heh... Cheers to new friends!" 

Jarvis brought his glass to his friends', clinking them together. Upon offering it to Miles, he was left hanging. Miles remained in silence until he finally seemed satisfied with the placement of his mat. He looked back towards Jarvis with a strained, somewhat forlorn smile. "You still haven't answered my question, Jarvis."

Jarvis looked remorseful as his arm unceremoniously lowered. "Oh, yes, well, uh... I've lived 'ere all my life, yeah."

Miles nodded his head slowly to himself as his eyes betrayed the smallest hint of concern, before giving Jarvis his friendliest smile as he softly replied. "Thank you."

Jarvis hastily downed his drink and moved to stand up from his stool. Before he could fully stand up, however, Miles grabbed Jarvis by the shoulder once again, lightly squeezing it and pulling him closer. He leaned past Jarvis's face and spoke directly into his ear.

"I'll see you later."

Jarvis felt a sinking in his chest, yet no foreign object was to be found. He noticed that his friends had already left by this point, and so scurried out himself without another word.

Miles remained seated for a while afterwards, simply enjoying the white noise of the customers' babble. Swirling his drink in his glass, Miles continued to take small sips of the icy cold beverage as he considered all that had just transpired. He pulled a napkin out of the pocket of his blazer and used it to wipe the bottom of his glass each time he picked it up. 

He was surprised, to say the least. It usually takes a little more probing to get under someone's skin, but it seems these men had lived a somewhat sheltered existence in this closed social community. It was unlikely they ever loitered anywhere other than this bar, and being the top dogs here, they had never experienced challenge. All it took was for Miles to simply assert that Jarvis was shaking in order to cause him to actually do so. He laughed silently to himself.

Miles finished off the last dregs of his beverage before thoroughly wiping it one final time and setting the glass down in the centre of the beer mat. 

"Be rid of that glass, please, bartender; we wouldn't want to sodden this beer mat with perspiration." The bartender frowned at his comment. He then swiftly and silently snatched up the glass and took it away, indignantly muttering something about not needing to be told how to do his job once out of earshot. 

Folding up his napkin into a neat, triangular shape, Miles replaced it into his pocket and recovered his overcoat. With a wink, he left a tip for the bartender and made his way towards the door; he intended to finish what he started and there were preparations to be made.





"Spike?! Could you fetch me a few extra quills, please?!"

Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and the Element of Magic, was sat at her desk, sorting through the usual paperwork her many commitments demanded of her. A small, purple and green dragon waddled into the room, carrying a bundle of feathered quills in his stubby little arms. "Geez, Twilight... How many of these things do you plan on going through this week?!"

Twilight sighed in exasperation, lowering her head as she levitated the quills out of the drake's arms and onto her desk. "I don't know, Spike; I just have so much work to do at the moment, what with my princess duties, friendship school duties... Not to mention, my own personal projects..."

Spike looked dejected, crossing his arms and looking away from the mare. "But you said we would go to the spa together today..."

"I know, Spike, I'm sorry..."

Spike unfolded his arms and stood with a claw to his lips in thought. "Well, I can't just go without you. Why not just take a break from the work?" Twilight avoided eye contact, folding up her ears as she pretended to go back to work. "Come on, Twilight, please!" The little drake begged, dramatically dropping to his knees and suppressing a smirk. He clasped his claws together and shook them at the alicorn princess.

Rolling her eyes, Twilight stood up from her desk and trotted over to her most faithful assistant, daintily patting him on his head with a hoof. "Aaalright, Spike, but only for an hour."

Spike jumped to his feet and pumped his fist in victory. "Yes! You have no idea how much I need a nice, hot, steamy bubble bath right now..." Spike's eyes glazed with longing while his tongue hung comically out of his mouth.

"Well, let's hurry up and get going. I can't leave my work for too long. I swear, I'm on the cusp of something big with my inter-dimensional teleportation studies! I'll be giving a demonstration for everypony tomorrow morning in the throne room!" Twilight suddenly looked full of life, skipping towards the door with an elated smile plastered across her face.

"Yeah, yeah, sounds amazing, Twilight. Hey, my claws are cramping too, could we get the-" Twilight stopped her skipping and looked over her withers at the young drake, raising an eyebrow. "Heheh, n-never mind..."





Miles was sat on the bench just outside his shop, simply watching in silence as the people passed him by along the pavement and the traffic sped through the intersection. It was a gloomy Sunday afternoon, and he wanted nothing more than to relax and prepare himself for the night ahead working on his creation. He had been busy gathering information on his newest friend, Jarvis, and had found him exceedingly simple to track down. As it turns out, Jarvis was well known amongst the community; while this was concerning, it did not render his plans impossible to accomplish.

Miles was suddenly torn from his thoughts by a man sitting down next to him on the bench. The man had greasy, overgrown hair and a long, scraggy beard that had the remnants of his previous meal interwoven within its bristly depths. He wore patchy, brown clothes that were battered and torn from use. His woollen hat looked almost wet and soggy as it threatened to fall from its perch on his head at any moment.

"Hey there, friend... Ya mind if'n I set up shop 'ere?" The man's voice was hoarse and grating, like an overused chew toy. Miles frowned slightly to himself before turning to face the man and giving him a kind smile.

"Good afternoon, sir. Of course you may sit here; in fact, this is my shop," Miles gestured to the carpentry shop behind them, which had a banner running along the top of the display window that read, 'Miles' Hack and Saw', "but, if you were to set up shop here too, we might have an issue on our hands!" Miles joked, looking curiously towards the man.

"O-Oh, no, I meant jus' settin' this here hat on the pavement..." Miles watched as the man set his hat down like a bowl on the ground, before leaning forwards and looking up at the people as they passed by.

Miles continued to glare at the man, shuffling slightly in his seat and smacking his lips together in irritation. He had seen this routine before. "You know, I just told you this is my shop." The man turned to him, looking slightly taken aback by Miles' aggressive tone.

"I-I meant no offence, sir... Ya see, I'm jus' outta the job right now an' I need some way ta get by unt-"

"There are more than enough benches along this street, 'friend'." Miles' face began darkening, as a noticeable vein began popping out on his forehead. The man's tongue tied, jarring him from spouting any kind of response. After a few moments of silence, he finally managed a hesitant grumble.

"W-Well, this 'ere's the traffic junction... it's the best place to, uh..." The man awkwardly cleared his throat, struggling to voice his thought in full. Eventually, Miles broke the tension, snapping his fingers once while chuckling softly and nudging the man in the side. 

"I'm only kidding, pal. Why would I care what you do on a public pavement? I tell you what: let's start over, Eh? My name's Miles."

The man looked unconvinced, simply leaning away from Miles and preparing to dash at any moment. Miles looked at the man expectantly, waiting with patience until he finally spoke up. "I think I'll jus' be goin' now..." As the man picked up his hat and made to stand up, Miles reached over and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Hang on there, pal. Listen: I'm sorry, I was only joking with you. What's your name?"

The man hesitated for a moment, before allowing himself to be gently pushed back down into his seat. "I'm Malcolm..."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Malcolm. Say, you must be hungry. What would you say to a free meal on me, by way of apology?" Miles smiled at Malcolm, patting him on the back and standing up before offering him a hand. Malcolm accepted it, climbing to his feet and looking up at Miles.

Miles looked over towards his shop and pointed a thumb in its direction. "My shop is closed for today, but I actually live here, too. Come on, let's run along inside and I'll put us some coffee on." Miles walked through the entrance door of his shop, stopping and holding it open for Malcolm once he was inside. Malcolm glanced left and right, hesitating slightly before finally making for the door. Malcolm's tattered boots crossed the threshold of the entryway, eliciting a gentle chuckle from Miles as he slowly closed the door, sealing them both inside. Miles clinked the lock into place, firmly checking the handle to ensure it was sealed tight. Malcolm looked around, feeling slightly uncomfortable in the dark gloom of the workshop.

Nothing could be heard but the heavy thud of Miles' footsteps as he made his way towards Malcolm, the noise barraging Malcolm's ears like a train approaching from the depths of a dark tunnel. Miles' steps ceased suddenly, his umbral silhouette towering over that of the considerably smaller man. The next few seconds crawled by like minutes as Malcolm's sensory deprivation began to take its toll; Malcolm suddenly felt like a fly helplessly tangled in a spider's web.

However, Miles soon reached over towards the wall on his left, flicking a switch and ending their shadow-play as quickly as it had begun. Malcolm blinked as his eyes re-adjusted to the light, yet still found himself unable to move a muscle. Miles took his eyes away from Malcolm and made his way over to the back of the pristine, tidy workshop. He rested his hand upon a large device, before turning and addressing Malcolm with a brief clearing of his throat.

"Do you know what this is, Malcolm?" Miles began strumming his fingers along its smooth, curved surface.

"Uh... No, I don't."

Miles grinned impishly, reaching down to flick a switch on the device, causing it to roar to life. "This is a simple lathe, and it's used to warp, cut and change materials in several ways..." Miles glanced up at Malcolm and noticed his distracted expression. "Alright, I'll cut to the chase: I installed this device with the intention of it aiding me in creation. We can't get by in life without making something of it, or in this case, with it. Do you see what I'm saying?"

Malcolm was unresponsive, watching with vague interest as Miles continued to monologue. "My point is, I've taken something bland and uninteresting, such as a slab of wood or metal, and turned it into something new. All it took was a little time and effort." Miles looked into Malcolm's eyes for a moment, before sighing softly in defeat and nonchalantly adding, "I didn't necessarily need a lathe for it; that's simply one of many avenues to that same end."

"Okay... So yer a carpenter. Do ya dabble in anythin' else?" Miles winced and gave a slightly more agitated sigh, quickly switching off the lathe.

"Well, I was trained as an engineer back in London, but decided to move over here a few years ago to pursue a career in carpentry. My only work is in the manufacturing of materials." Malcolm looked mostly uninterested, the small talk pleasantries of his question having rolled off his tongue like clockwork.

"Yea, okay... So, ya said somethin' about food...?" Malcolm looked hopeful, the prospect of eating a decent meal recklessly barging its way to the forefront of his mind.

"Ah, yes, food. Of course." Miles turned his back on Malcolm and walked towards a door in the back of the workshop. After reaching the doorway, Miles looked back to see that Malcolm hadn't moved an inch, and was instead simply staring anxiously in his direction. "Well? Are you coming?"

As if broken out of a trance, Malcolm jumped in place before meeting Miles' gaze with his own. "Through there...?"

Miles looked to his left and right, chuckling slightly. "Well, where else would we be going? Do you see any other doors around here?" Malcolm briefly looked back over his shoulder towards the front door of the workshop, before lowering his head and clutching his stomach as it growled in protest. Miles watched Malcolm's turmoil with keen interest, casually rubbing at his stubble as he waited. Malcolm, with his mind now set, eventually made his way to Miles' side, waiting for him to take the lead.

"O-Of course..."

Miles chuckled, noticing Malcolm visibly bristle as he did so. "This way." Miles ushered Malcolm down the stairs behind his workshop and deeper into his home. Malcolm could swear the descending passageway looked like a spiralling web for a moment before coming back to his senses as he heard the door clunk shut behind him, followed by the soft click of another lock.





Twilight and Spike arrived at the Ponyville Day Spa just as Celestia's golden sun had reached its peak in the glittering summer's day sky. Twilight looked almost confused as she scanned the interior of the spa reception, which was almost completely empty, save for a few locals.

"Huh... I'm honestly quite surprised that there are so few ponies in here on a day like this."

Spike shrugged before scurrying off towards Aloe on reception. "Two, please! For the full - oomph" Twilight roughly barged him out of the way before addressing Aloe herself with a slightly embarrassed tone.

"Hey, Aloe, I hope you're doing well on this fine shimmering day! Ehehe... C-Could we please get two for the body massage and bubble bath steam room, as well as a manicure for Spike?"

Aloe turned away from Twilight's cringing grin for a moment as she glanced awkwardly down at Spike. After clearing her throat, she addressed Twilight's request. "Y-Yes, of course, darling, anything for our resident princess! Please see yourselves down the hall and to your right where my sister will take you through for your treatment." Twilight muttered her thanks before pushing Spike back to his claws with her nose and hurrying down the hall.





Miles sawed away at the limb diligently, yet with practiced grace, yanking away at the last of it as he felt the sinews pop and tear before it finally gave way and snapped off with a thunk as it hit the floor. He tried his best to ignore the muffled cries, as they were distracting him from his work.

"Can you please just be quiet for a moment?!" Miles bellowed, sending spittle hurtling down towards his captive. "This wasn't meant for you, but I'm giving you the honour of taking it out for a test drive. Now, can you please just cease your squirming and crying so I can concentrate?" The cries swiftly died down into whimpers and fevered breathing, as Malcolm struggled against his bonds, eyeing the wooden contraption Miles was working on with panic and fear. "You know, having a panic attack will get you nowhere, here; I'm giving you a gift greater than any other imaginable."

Miles began to saw through yet another wooden limb, slowly but surely working on his creation. He was once again disturbed from his work as he began to hear thuds coming from the front door of his workshop upstairs. Miles froze in place for a moment, listening intently. He then hung his saw back in its spot on the wall and rolled up his sleeves, glancing down at Malcolm for a moment after wringing his hands and making for the door leading back to the workshop. "You stay right there, Malcolm. I'll be back to tend to you very soon."

Malcolm continued to struggle before falling over to lay on his side, deciding to just remain there with a defeated look crossing his eyes. Glancing around the brightly lit basement, Malcolm could see nothing of interest to aid an escape. Unfortunately for him, Miles' basement area was just as spotlessly tidy as his workshop; he could not reach any of the tools hung from the walls to free his bonds, as his hands and legs were tied. Malcolm began to feel his malnutrition and shock from his panic attack begin to take their belated toll on his body, feeling light as a feather in the wind. He simply continued to lie there, his eyes dull and lifeless, hoping for nothing more than for death to snatch him away from this place before his tormentor returned.

Malcolm was torn from his stupor as he heard commotion coming from the workshop upstairs. He bolted up with a start as the doorway to the basement flung open and a large man came hurtling down the stairs at alarming speed, landing like a rag-doll on the solid, cemented floor of the basement before coming to rest beside Malcolm. The man was out cold.





"Come on, Twilight... You were really looking forward to this yesterday!" Spike and Twilight were stood in the throne room of her Friendship Castle, with an anxious and agitated Twilight trotting back and forth in front of a concerned Spike, trying to calm her nerves.

"Yes, Spike, but I can't help being nervous! I mean, what if the princesses don't like it? What if my friends get hurt? Oh, I can't believe we have to rely on chaos magic to perform this demonstration..." Twilight looked as though she was about to break down into tears.

"It can't be helped, Twilight, the spell's still in early stages; you gotta rely on Discord's magic to even make an attempt! It's not like we're trying any kind of risky spell that could hurt somepony; it's just teleportation, for Celestia's sake..."

"Did you not hear me?! Discord's magic is chaos magic! It could do literally anything!" Twilight snapped, her pupils shrinking as her hair became rugged and her voice coarse as sand. Spike suddenly looked alarmed, as he knew what she was like when she got like this.

"Please, Twilight, just calm down! I'm sure Discord is perfectly capable of controlling his own magic. There will literally be three of the most powerful beings in the whole world gathered in one room helping this go smoothly. You have nothin' to worry about, Twi." Spike's voice gradually became soft and reassuring as he saw Twilight visibly relax at his words.

Twilight breathed in slowly, bringing her hoof to her chest before extending it as she let that breath go. "Okay, Spike... I can do this." 

As if on queue, the door to the throne room burst open as her intended guests made their appearance. Starlight, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and the two diarch sisters came through to greet Twilight, while Discord and Rainbow appeared to be taunting each other as Fluttershy tried to settle them down to no avail. Celestia was the first to address Twilight.

"Good morning, Twilight, Spike," Celestia hummed in her powerful, motherly tone as she leaned down to nuzzle Twilight, "I must admit I am quite excited to see how this little experiment of yours will go."

"Thank you, Princess, I really hope to-" she was cut off as Rainbow flew over to the pair, mumbling through a zipper closed across her lips; she pointed to it and then towards Discord with her hooves. Discord himself began whistling and kicking at pebbles that formed on the ground. Each one that landed after being kicked snapped upwards as they became freshly popped popcorn. 

"Ooooh! Free popcorn! Woohoo!" Pinkie immediately bounded over and began catching them in her mouth one-by-one, her tongue flopping around like famished dog. Fluttershy began hiding her head in embarrassment at her friends' behaviour.

Twilight cleared her throat briefly before continuing, choosing to ignore Rainbow's continued frustrated grumbles, "I really hope to achieve something big here today, Princess. If inter-dimensional travel could be possible with our magic, then I thoroughly believe anything could." Twilight beamed, pride lacing her voice albeit with a slight wobble from her nervousness.

"Well, we shall see about that, Twilight. I think your immediate focus should be in attempting to rid us of the need for chaos magic when casting this spell, depending on the results of today's experiment," she glanced over towards Discord, who put a claw to his chest in mock offence, "no offence, Discord."

Discord blew a short raspberry before commenting. "Oh, please, carry on! Don't mind me, I'm not even here." Discord snapped his fingers, disappearing for a moment before poking out of Celestia's ear and patting the alicorn on the cheek. Celestia let out a rather uncouth yelping noise before righting herself and looking off into the distance ahead with a glare that could kill. Another snap rang out before Discord reappeared next to Celestia, patting her daintily on the withers and waiting for her to continue, as though nothing at all had happened.

Twilight noticed Celestia was still frozen solid, only to be broken out of her trance when Pinkie began giggling at Discord juggling his own eyeballs to pass the time. Applejack was currently trying to keep Rainbow calm on the other side of the room, who was zooming around with the zipper over her mouth, unable to open it. Starlight, Luna and Rarity were glaring at Discord with burning stares of their own.

Celestia's eye began twitching as she did her best to continue in her regal tone, "I believe that your findings today could potentially make some-" Celestia was interrupted once again as yet another snap beside her resulted in her horn and mane being pulled from her body by Discord, who, using her horn as a handle, began eating her mane like an exceedingly colourful batch of cotton candy.

"Discord!!!" Celestia's royal Canterlot voice boomed around the room, causing everypony but Discord and Pinkie to jump with a fright and desperately try to cover their ears. Discord was busy attempting to bat the pink menace away as she tried to jump up and snap at his newfound candy. "I swear on my name, I'll-" Celestia's mouth was suddenly closed by a dull blue glow.

"Sister, please, calm down. We-I understand that Discord is irritating, but please try and ignore him so we can get on with the demonstration. Poor little Twilight must be anxious to show us what she's come up with, and we're keeping her waiting." Luna looked over at Twilight with a smile and a wink, the former of which was immediately mirrored in the younger princess' features. Celestia sighed, and, with a defeated look, turned to Discord once her mouth was freed from its confines.

"I'm sorry if I offended you, Discord. May I please have my body parts back?"

"Oh, my dear Celestia, I was just kidding around. Of course I'm not 'offended'! Honestly, do you really think me so petty?" Discord snapped his fingers with a smirk, returning Celestia's horn and mane to how they once were. Rainbow's mouth was also finally freed, resulting in the pegasus taking in deep, grateful breaths through it. Turning back to Twilight, Celestia nodded towards the side of the room with a gentle smile, where Twilight had prepared a space for the performance of the spell. Twilight cleared her voice and puffed up her little chest, trying her best to look like a professional as she led the group over to the testing area.

"So, as you are all aware. I have been working on a very 'special' spell of sorts: the kind of spell that will hopefully allow controlled inter-dimensional travel using pony-based magic. Discord is already capable of such travel to an extent, however I am looking for a way us ponies can mirror his successes. For this demonstration, we will require his help to activate the spell. The key thing to take away from this is that the basis for the spell-casting is pony magic," Twilight looked over at Discord for a moment, waiting for an affirming nod from the draconequus before continuing, "I will need the most magically able ponies in the room to gather around this here apple." Twilight signalled down to the lone apple sat in the clearing. "Discord, would you please be so kind as to put a tracking spell on this apple? As in, one that can still be traced across dimensions?"

"But of course, Twilight." Discord snapped his fingers, and although nothing appeared to have changed, everypony trusted that he had done as asked.

"Now, we are going to be attempting to send this apple across dimensions. We don't particularly care about where, so long as it's not just teleported elsewhere in our current dimension. Discord, we have to be careful to only send this apple elsewhere, and not bring anything back from the other side. Do you understand? I need you to focus on controlling your chaotic magic as best you can."

"Oh, please. I've been practicing my magic for eons. I'm perfectly capable of having it do as I intend." Discord huffed, crossing his arms impatiently.

Twilight looked unsure for a moment, before quickly shaking her head and turning her attention to the rest of the group. "Starlight, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, you three circle around the apple with me and ready your horns to blast it with as much teleportation magic as you can muster. I will work on directing that magic in accordance with the research on our intended purpose that I've done." The three of them nodded, readying their horns as they looked to Twilight for the signal to go. "Discord, you stay here and just give the apple a little influx of chaos magic when I say so. We only need a little, as the magic from Celestia, Luna and Starlight will do most of the heavy lifting. Understood?"

"Yes, yes. Get on with it."

"And the rest of you please stand over on the other side of the room and watch from a safe distance. That includes you, Spike." Twilight looked down at the little dragon by her side who ruffled his wings in disappointment.

"Fine..." He waddled over to the other side of the room with the others and turned to watch from afar.

"Okay, girls, on three," Twilight began breathing heavily, wiping her brow as her nerves began to make a comeback, "One... Two... Three!" The apple was suddenly blasted by a massive amount of magic, causing it to lift slightly in the air. Discord noticed Fluttershy looking frightened on the other side of the room, and suddenly felt the need to comfort her. He did not hear the frantic calls from Twilight until a moment after the fact.

"Discord, now! Now!!!"

"O-Oh, yes, right..." Discord snapped his talons and blasted his intended target, still seeming somewhat distracted.

There was a sudden, bright flash of light, and a blast of force from the focal point of magic that sent everypony bar Discord reeling, cutting off all magic output. The light seemed to linger for a moment as the room went silent; Twilight was the first to recover, her jaw going slack and her eyes going wide as she gawked at where the apple once was.





Malcolm looked bemused as the man laid beside him remained unmoving. He heard further commotion coming from upstairs, before noticing that the man had been holding a knife. Suddenly, Malcolm felt a resurgence of life, leaping forwards to wriggle on his belly towards the blade. Just as he got his hands on it, however, another man came flying down the stairs and landed on the crook of his neck, which made a horrendous crunching sound before he also lay still. Malcolm noticed that this man had been holding a crowbar, but quickly dismissed the event and went to working on his bonds. Miles began walking down the stairs, holding yet another man in front of him. This one was struggling, preventing himself from being tossed down the stairs, yet being unable to prevent Miles from pushing him deeper.

"Damn. I'll admit, I didn't expect this," Miles grunted, shoving the man once more, causing him to fall flat on his back at the base of the stairs, "I honestly did not expect you to actually come to me. I guess I didn't give you enough credit; you do have some balls on you!" Miles leaned down and began wiping his blood-soaked hands on the man's shirt.

"F-Fuck you, pal! You disrespected me in my own pub!" The man replied, sounding winded and shaky, yet resilient.

Miles laughed, almost giggling for a moment as he grabbed the man by his shirt and began to lift him to his feet. "Oh, come now, Jarvis. Do you understand how much of a man-child you sound like right now? You know, I did just say you have some balls, but bringing five people to break down my door and assault me in the night?! Now, that's a little cowardly, I must admit."

"I 'ave much more than that, too, cunt!" Jarvis spat in Miles' face as he was being manhandled. "Just you wait! If I don't show up in that pub tonight, you'll 'ave the whole fuckin' town crashing down yer door!"

Miles turned his attention away from Jarvis for a moment and looked over at Malcolm with a smile, wiping away Jarvis' spit from his face. "Apologies in advance, Malcolm; I know I promised you a run of my new project before anyone else, but it seems circumstances have changed. You'll have to wait your turn." Finally, Malcolm broke free from the bonds on his hands, but held them behind his back until he was no longer the subject of Miles' attention. Once Miles turned back to Jarvis, Malcolm began subtly hacking away at his leg bonds with the knife.

Jarvis threw a dazed punch at Miles, who parried it with his forearm and thrust his opposing fist into the man's flabby stomach, causing him to lurch into the air for a moment before crumpling into a hunch on the floor. Jarvis was having trouble breathing, frantically coughing and spluttering while trying not to throw up.

To his horror, his troubles only worsened as he felt an arm wrap around his neck and squeeze. In a panic, his legs shot out in front of him and began flailing; he brought his hands up to the arm around his neck and attempted to tear it away desperately. Miles locked his grip by pulling his wrist with his other arm, imprisoning Jarvis in a vice as he continued to squeeze. He was careful to only cut off Jarvis' blood supply to his head so he would pass out, and not cut off his breathing completely and accidentally kill his victim early. He wasn't finished with him yet. Miles felt Jarvis go limp and loosened his grip, as the drunkard's body crumbled to the ground like a sack of potatoes. 

A quiet snap reverberated around the now silent room. Miles quickly spun around to see Malcolm rush for the stairs. Miles swung his arm with all his strength towards Malcolm's neck, who noticed this too late and tried to dodge to the left, ending up being swatted across the face instead by Miles' hand. Dazed, Malcolm swung the knife at Miles, who dodged backwards and then grabbed his wrist, controlling the blade arm. Miles felt someone grab at his ankle as he struggled briefly with Malcolm, and looked down to see the first man he threw down the stairs had come to and was trying to pull him over. It seemed the man's legs were broken, or at the very least not working properly in his dazed state.

"Oh, for goodness' sake..." Miles slammed Malcolm's head against the wall behind it with his palm, instantly knocking the man out cold. Miles then grabbed the knife from Malcolm and knelt down to the man holding his ankle. With a massive grin plastered across his face, Miles grabbed the man's hand and began hacking and sawing at his wrist. He closed his eyes and listened with glee to the man's screams as he fruitlessly tried to prize Miles' hand away from his and stop the pain.

Suddenly, Miles' smile disappeared, as he felt a wave of nausea overcome his body. A blinding white light enveloped him as he stood upright and clutched his hands to his head, dropping the knife. The nausea was quickly replaced by a searing fire that coursed through his veins in a blazing inferno; yet, his skin felt so unbelievably cold. Miles roared in agony as he felt like a bonfire in the bite of a freezing winter evening.

Then, as suddenly as it had started, it was all over. Miles unclenched his eyes and observed the world around him, doing his best to control his breathing after that agonising experience. This did not look at all like his basement. He heard a collective gasp around him as some tiny purple and green creature with wings on the other side of the room pointed at him and screamed.

"M-M-Monster!!!"
> Dismantled
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miles narrowed his eyes at the creature. He could have sworn that little lizard just-

"Twilight! You brought a monster here!"

"Spike, please, calm down!" A feminine voice spoke up from Miles' left, but when he looked over to confirm the source, Miles saw to his bewilderment that the voice had come from a small, purple equine. However, it was distinctly shorter and less vascular than your average equine, with a much shorter snout and large, orb-like eyes. This, combined with its voice, made it seem almost... Human.

"Twilight, ready your horn! We know nothing of this creature's origins; it could be wielding immense magical power!" Miles peered over to his right only to see three more of these equines of varying sizes, although all seemed to be smaller than any equines he had come to know. The one that had spoken was the tallest, with the tip of its horn reaching up to around his jawline. Miles couldn't help but notice that the horns of all three of these equines were alight, and they had a dangerous look in their eyes.

Miles took a few more deep, steady breaths, before firmly patting himself down, feeling for any painful spots he might have been pricked by a needle. The glowing from their horns increased as he did this, threatening him to remain still. Miles sighed after discovering no needle pains and closed his eyes for a few moments to collect himself. Eventually, he opened his eyes once more, put on his most charming smile and held up his hands in a non-threatening manner.

"Now, now... Ladies...? Let's not get too antsy. I'm honestly not quite sure what's going on here, or where here even is, for that matter. But, I do know that it would be better for all of us if we just... Talk." Miles' voice seemed to work its magic immediately, as the light from their horns dimmed, but did not cease. Miles noted that across the room, a few more of these equines were huddled together with the lizard from before, all quivering at him like a bunch of lion cubs before the herd's new alpha.

However, most startling of all these creatures was the tall, mismatched monstrosity slightly off to his left. It looked to be about 9 feet tall at full height, with a long, serpentine body. Its eyes were yellow, and sported a pair of red irises of differing sizes to each other. It appeared bipedal, although all four of its limbs were from a different animal, such as the paw of a lion and the talons of an bird. The creature did not appear startled by his presence, unlike the rest; instead, it seemed to look upon him with a keen interest.

Miles heard the small, purple equine to his left clear her throat, grabbing his attention once more. "Y-Yes, I agree... Let's all just calm down. Girls, can you please lower your guard? I don't sense any magical energy coming from him whatsoever." At her word, the light show to his right ceased, albeit not without some small grumbles of reluctance. 

"So. How about we get ourselves off to a better start? I understand you're probably confused right now, since it seems quite clear you're not of this world. Your being here is my..." She sneered over at the tall creature, which avoided her gaze and folded its arms. "Our fault. Astonishingly, it seems we even speak the same language, which should make this a whole lot easier!" The small equine held out her hoof in greeting. "My name's Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, and these are all my friends!" She briefly gestured around the room with her hoof.

Miles did not look convinced. Was she using some kind of alias? What sort of name is 'Twilight Sparkle'? Hesitantly, Miles reached down and grabbed the equine's hoof, resisting his urge to domineer as he held it gently and knelt down to her height. 

Her face immediately began to tighten as he came close, however she soon calmed down upon being greeted by his warm smile and velvety voice. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Sparkle. My name is Miles, and I must admit this is beyond anything I could have imagined would happen to me today. But, my mother once taught me to roll with the punches, so to speak." As he spoke, Twilight became visibly more and more relaxed, as though she were melting into the soft melody of his tones.

Miles soon released her hoof and stood upright, turning to face the rest of the room. Twilight blinked owlishly, as though she'd just been released from a trance. "W-Well, Miles," she trotted up to his side as he gazed around the room, "you can get to know everypony better soon. But for now, how about we all go through to the living area and get a little more, uh... Settled?" Most in the room muttered their agreement, before shuffling quietly out of the room with the occasional frightened glance in Miles' direction.

Miles noticed that the tall, white equine from earlier remained with him, as well as the mismatched creature. Both were standing in silence, peering at him cautiously. Miles walked up to the equine, making sure to stand as close to her as he was able, and looked down into her eyes. This one clearly had a little more spunk than the little purple one, so he'd need to let her know her place a little more forcefully. Miles opened his mouth, however she was the first to speak.

"Greetings, Miles. We can save the pleasantries for later. I understand you're likely confused, and maybe even a little frightened; but, I must inform you that the safety of my little ponies comes first and foremost, and I will not hold back from employing any means necessary to protect them." Celestia remained stoic as Miles folded his arms and tilted his head at her with a disbelieving grin. "Unlike the others, I am not shocked by your presence enough to not notice the blood drying on your skin. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume this presence of blood is innocent. However, during your stay here, I will be keeping a close eye on you. Is that understood?" Her features went from stone-faced to bemused as Miles began to lightly chuckle in amusement, wiping and scratching at the remaining blood on his hands and face.

"Oh, dearest horse. I assure you I am not in the slightest bit frightened. I mean your 'ponies' no harm whatsoever." Miles now leaned down to meet the equine's gaze, narrowing his eyes as he began to patronise her. "Besides, if that was my intent, you'd all know about it already!" Miles flicked the tip of her horn and threw his head back in jovial laughter, only for it to dwindle into nothing as he noticed a shadow looming over the both of them, and its source was standing directly behind him. 

Leaning down to lock its gaze firmly upon his was the towering, mismatched creature from earlier; it did not look happy at all, as its face was now mere inches from his.

Instinctively, Miles whipped around and made to grab the creature; however, his arms simply fell through its form like a hot knife through butter. Its body seemed to simply reattach the parts where his arms had gone through without affecting its stature, as though nothing had happened. The creature folded its arms, before raising an eyebrow at him and snapping its talons as though it were snapping fingers. Miles immediately lost all feeling in both of his arms, and to his horror, they appeared to now be made out of strips of cloth, limply hanging down by his sides.

"What in the-?!" Miles attempted to flail his arms, but they were merely phantom limbs as the strips flapped down by his sides like silly string. He stepped backwards, falling into the equine behind him. Suddenly, he felt weightless as he was lifted into the air by a glowing, yellow light.

"Miles. Do not joke about such things so lightly, or else Discord here will ensure you lose more than just your arms next time. Also, I am not a horse, I am a pony. Now, I will ask you again... Am I understood?" Miles was snarling down at the pair as he was held helplessly in the air. He soon realised he would need to comply in order to survive, and so sighed and nodded his head reluctantly. "Good." He was lowered back down to the ground and the light ceased. "Discord, please give him his limbs back." Another snap rang through the air and Miles was suddenly able to feel his arms again, as they had been returned to normal. 

For the first time since Miles' arrival, Discord spoke. His voice was charming, masculine and yet playful as his demeanour shifted from aggressive to condescending in a heartbeat.

"Well, I don't know about you two, but I could really use with a nice, crispy bowl of snacks after all this drama..." Discord rolled his eyes and wafted his paw at the pair. "I'll be waiting through in the lounge. Tata!" With another snap of his fingers, Discord suddenly vanished, leaving Miles alone with the white pony.

"Follow me." She simply put as she walked calmly towards the exit of the room. Miles rubbed his arms briefly, getting over his bewilderment once again with some steadying breaths. He relaxed his features once more as he made to follow the pony out of the room.

The journey across the establishment was silent, with Miles walking several feet away from the pony the entire way. Eventually, they arrived at a dimly lit room, littered with couches and other such comforts. All of the other creatures from earlier were already seated in silence, scarcely daring to glance at Miles as he made his way past the white pony, who had held the door open for him. At first, Miles could not see Discord; however, upon looking up, Miles noticed him resting upside down against his own couch on the ceiling, eating what appeared to be crinkled bits of paper from a salad bowl with a disinterested look on his face.

"Please, take a seat." Another one of the ponies spoke up. This one was a little taller than most of them, with a deep blue coat and a glistening mane and tail. Miles remained silent, making his way over to a free seat across from Twilight Sparkle, where he seated himself promptly. Twilight opened her mouth as she made to speak, however seemed to catch herself before she could do so. She put a hoof to her lip in contemplation for a moment and then made her way over to the doorway, beckoning the tall, white pony to follow her outside before shutting it.

The room's eerie silence returned with vigour as one could hear nothing but their own breathing. All of the ponies in the room looked down at their laps, seemingly unsure of what to do or say next.

"Tough crowd..." Miles mumbled to himself. After about 5 minutes of silence, the door reopened, revealing a dishevelled-looking Twilight and a frustrated white pony.

"Okay, so... I've talked it over with Celestia, aaaaand I'm gonna just have a teensy little one-on-one chat with Miles elsewhere before we all begin to, uh... Mingle... Hehe..." Twilight began signalling towards Miles with her eyes that he should follow her out of the room.

"Alright. Well, I won't be long, folks. Don't go missing me too much while I'm gone." Miles winked at a small, white mare with a purple mane, who scrunched up her muzzle in reply.





Miles had been following alongside Twilight in relative silence for a few minutes before he decided to question her.

"So, would you mind informing me of just what the purpose of our little chat is going to be?"

Twilight looked slightly sheepish as she replied. "Well, I was thinking we could just... Talk over the basics of our world, and settle on some living arrangements for you, and... Stuff, you know? You see, I don't quite know how to tell you this, but... W-We don't know if we'll be able to send you back to your home world... At least, not yet..." Twilight ruffled her feathers, avoiding Miles' gaze, who simply looked down at her with an unreadable expression. "The spell we used that resulted in your being brought here is still experimental, and we don't know if the things we send through it survive in one piece, considering that as far as I'm aware, we don't know what happened to the object you seem to have been exchanged for."

Miles chose not to respond, instead bringing his attention to the nearest window. He approached it steadily, looking out upon this whole new sparkling world with intrigue. Twilight halted in her tracks and slowly walked up next to Miles, cautiously glancing at his slightly slack-jawed expression before gently smiling and laying a hoof on his thigh.

"Welcome to your new home, Miles... I promise we'll try and send you back to your world, but for now I recommend you get used to Equestria and its inhabitants. We have around a million ponies in our world, so that's a lot of new faces for you to meet!" Twilight giggled slightly, before trotting back off towards their destination. "Now, come on, Miles. There'll be plenty of time for you to get accustomed later."

Twilight looked content as Equestria's newest inhabitant seemed somewhat calm about this whole ordeal. As she trotted away from Miles, however, she missed the grin now slowly spreading across his face. "Only a million, you say..." Miles whispered to himself with a chuckle as he followed in Twilight's tracks.

An instinctive shiver rippled through Twilight's spine for a moment. Upon turning around, she was greeted with Miles looking down at her with a gentle smile and a half-lidded gaze. "I think I like this place already, Twilight. I can't wait for you to tell me all about it. Every. Single. Thing."

Twilight clopped her hooves together excitedly with a childish grin. "Oooh! Of course I will. I can't wait to tell you everything! There are so many interesting things to teach about this world!" Twilight turned back around, skipping off at a faster pace than before, muttering to herself like a maniac. "I've never had an opportunity like this before... Teaching an alien about our world from scratch with no prior knowledge of anything! I should take notes... This could be an important breakthrough for science!" Twilight whipped back to face Miles, eyes sparkling like a puppy at dinner time. "Oh, Will you tell me about your world, too?! Please?"

Miles chuckled to himself for a moment in mirth, almost unable to believe his luck. He then walked up to the little purple pony and patted her on the withers. "Of course, Twilight. Anything you want to know. It seems we might be in for quite the lengthy and detailed conversation."

"Yes! Alright, let's go! Not much further to my room now. We can get settled in there, and I have all my notes there too." Without another word, the pair took off down the hall towards Twilight's room. Upon arrival, Twilight entered first, holding the door open for Miles once she got there. Miles was somewhat surprised to see her room was unkempt to an extent, as she seemed like the organised, studious type. Pictures of various things hung from the walls, and Miles could not help but feel as though they were watching him, in a sort of Mona Lisa effect.

Twilight took a seat at her desk after pulling up a lounging sofa directly across from it. "Okay, Miles... So, where to start...?" Twilight put a hoof to her chin in contemplation.

"How about your world's level of technology, and this strange 'magic' you seem to possess. Is it scientific, or...?"

"Well, our magic is inherent and very much 'magical', but science and magic do cross paths and work together very often. There are actually even some artefacts in our world which allow non-magical creatures such as yourself to perform magical feats! And- Waah!!!" Twilight gawped at the wall behind Miles with a startled expression, hiding into herself by pulling her hooves to her chest.

Miles looked concerned by her sudden outburst, however swiftly became aware of yet another shadow looming over him from behind.
> The Dust Settles
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miles glanced back over his shoulder, only to see a large, swirling shadow with two familiar mismatched eyes piercing into his soul from within. It appeared to be coming from one of the picture frames behind it. "It's you..." Miles seemed disinterested, choosing to ignore the figure and instead reattach his attention to Twilight. He needn't a repeat of what happened the last time he and Discord crossed paths in this manner.

"Oh, don't sound so disappointed, Miles," Discord chided as the apparition began to swirl until Discord's usual form came into being, "I merely need to have a little private talk with Sparkle-butt over there." Discord jutted a talon in Twilight's direction as though he were pointing a thumb.

"Hey!" Twilight used her magic to toss a book at Discord. The book seemed repelled from Discord like a magnet, instead veering towards Miles' head.

"What in the-?" Miles was startled, swatting at the book with his fist. The book careened across the room, but then began flapping like a bird and repeatedly dive-bombing him. Discord couldn't help but chuckle mischievously.

"Discord! Stop it! Where are your manners?!" Twilight seethed, grabbing the book in her magic once more and attempting to bring it back to her desk to no avail.

"Oh, you're no fun... Fine." Discord snapped his talons and the book appeared back on Twilight's desk in perfect condition.

Miles grabbed onto the nearest ornament in frustration, gritting his teeth as he gently smiled up at the draconequus. Twilight cleared her throat and addressed Miles calmly.

"I apologise on his behalf, Miles, Discord gets carried away often." Miles looked over at her as she spoke, his suppressed rage not showing through on his features in the slightest.

"It's quite alright, Twilight." Miles' warm tone and subtle smile soothed Twilight's nerves; she felt relieved Miles was such a tolerant character, especially around someone so abrasive as Discord.

Discord noticed Miles had not yet left the room, raising an eyebrow at the man as Twilight spoke up. "So, Discord, what's the matte-?" Twilight was interrupted by Discord snapping his fingers, causing Miles to disappear in a flash. 

Twilight face-hooved. "Discord?! Couldn't you have just asked him to, uh... Oh, I don't know... Leave for a moment?!"

"Well, this was faster and easier." Discord grinned deviously.

"Yes, but... N-Never mind..." Twilight sounded defeated, settling back into her chair. "What do you want to talk to me about?"

Discord returned to his usual mischievous smile as he snapped his talons and summoned up a long couch to sprawl across, suspended upside-down in midair. "I don't trust him, Twilight."

"Wow, straight to the point, huh...? Must we really have this conversation with you upside-down?"

"I don't know, Twilight. Must we?" Discord chuckled as he grabbed his head and twisted it upright whilst his body remained upside-down.

Twilight sighed in exasperation, tired and wanting nothing more than to return to her much more lucrative conversation with Miles. "Just get on with it... Why do you not trust him? He's barely been here for an hour, and you know what they say about first impressions."

"Don't you find it concerning that the very first thing he questions you about is our world's magic?" Discord's smirk disappeared as his tone became serious, yet Twilight struggled to take him seriously with his currently twisted head.

"Um, no, I don't. If he is indeed from a world bereft of magic, I would imagine he'd be extremely curious to learn about it. I know I certainly would." Twilight closed her eyes with a proud smile and placed a hoof against her chest.

Discord chuckled humorlessly. "Twilight, he's much too polite. He's clearly buttering you all up for whatever reason. He had blood on his skin when he arrived."

"You don't know the circumstances preceding his summoning here!" Twilight almost sounded like she was whining at this point.

"He clearly already has you under his spell..." Discord folded his arms and looked off to the side, shaking his head in disbelief.

Twilight raised a hoof with a smug smile as she refuted him. "Don't be silly, Discord. We already know he doesn't have magic."

"Never change, Twilight."

"Wha-"

"-After you first summoned him, he made a remark about how 'if he had wanted to harm you ponies, he would have done so already'." Discord lowered his voice in mockery of Miles as he quoted him. "I don't find it too hard to believe he would be curious about our magic so that he can use it against us."

"Discord, you're overthinking things. He was likely trying to defuse any suspicions of us thinking he means us any harm." Twilight sounded flippant as she blew a raspberry and wafted a hoof at Discord dismissively. "Besides, there's not a chance in Equestria that he could harm any of us with you around, even if he did somehow develop a magical sense."

"Twilight, have you ever heard the phrase 'it's not what he said, it's how he said it'?"

"Of course I have."

"Well, it applies here." Discord began to sound frustrated.

"Honestly, Discord..." Twilight regarded Discord seriously and addressed him with a warm, gentle tone. "I must admit, it makes me so very proud of you and Fluttershy to see just how well you seem to have developed as far as caring for your friends is concerned, but you really shouldn't worry so much here."

Discord sighed and pushed his paw against his brow. "Oh, fine... Just please be careful of what information you give him. I managed to catch you moments before you described how he would be able to use magical means without innate ability. Don't you see how that's a risk-?"

"Wait, you were spying on us?!"

"Of course I was, my dear, through the eyes of the pictures hanging on the wall."

Twilight sighed explosively. "Can you please just bring him back in here now? I want to finish my conversation with him."

"Alright, but just remember what I told you."

"Yes, yes, of course. Thank you for expressing your concern, Discord."

Discord readied his talons to snap Miles back into the room.





Miles was stood in the presence of Twilight and Discord in one moment, and in some room he had never seen before in the next. It looked like some sort of storage room, albeit an almost empty one. He couldn't help but feel his rage building as he thought of how many times that monstrosity of nature had disrespected him, his emotional bottle being forcibly crammed full of bubbling, carbonated frustration.

He spied a sharp, lengthy quill upon a desk on the other side of the room. Miles had been somewhat bare and vulnerable since he had arrived here, and so made his way over to it. He picked up the quill and turned it over in his palm, bending it slightly to test its durability. Satisfied with its strength, Miles broke off most of the quill's feather, leaving a sharp pointed end of a few inches in length remaining. It wasn't much, but it would have to do for now. He pocketed this after a cautionary glance around the room, paying particularly close attention to any picture frames hanging from the walls.

Miles stepped outside of the room after a moment, only to see he had been transported to a room adjacent to the living space the rest of the ponies had been occupying. They were still sitting around the room, seemingly chatting about whatever came to mind. They had not yet noticed his presence.

Miles cleared his throat and the chatter immediately silenced as all eyes were drawn onto his frame. "How's it going, folks? Did you miss me?" The room mostly remained silent apart from a few chuckles. Miles smiled and strolled over to the couch, seating himself next to the small yellow pony with pink hair. She squeaked girlishly and huddled into the side of the couch opposite him, hiding her face behind her hair.

Miles looked down at the little pony, offering out his hand in greeting. "Hello there, little miss. I believe you know who I am by now, but I don't believe I've yet had the pleasure of making your direct acquaintance."

"Oh... Oh my... So very polite... M-My name's Fluttershy..." She came out of her shell somewhat and leaned across the couch, placing her left fore-hoof in his palm. He gently laid his other hand across the top of her hoof and shook equally as softly.

Miles muttered to himself. "Of course it is."

"Hmm?"

"Oh, nothing, Fluttershy. I was just musing over how pretty that name is."

"W-Well, thank you..." By this point, the regular babble of the room had returned, but not without the occasional cautious glance in Miles' direction.

"Say, you wouldn't happen to know a lot about Disco-" Miles poofed out of existence mid-sentence, leaving Fluttershy somewhat dumbfounded.





Miles blipped back into existence beside Discord once again, wobbling slightly in surprise. "Welcome back, Miles! I trust you had a safe trip back to visit the others?" Discord sounded patronising as he spoke.

Miles bit his tongue and placed his hands in his pockets. "Yes, I did, thank you. I had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of one Fluttershy."

Suddenly, Discord's tail flung out like a whip and wrapped around Miles' mid-section, pulling him close as Discord growled. "Oh? And just how did that go down?" Miles struggled slightly, testing just how tightly pinned his arms were to his sides.

Twilight had seen just about enough of these two butting heads already, thrusting a hoof down on her desk in frustration and blinking owlishly as a quill flung against her face. Her ears folded against her head slightly in embarrassment as she spoke. "Alright, you two, that's enough... Discord, may you finally leave us in peace to finish our conversation?"

Discord narrowed his eyes at Miles for a couple more seconds before finally releasing him. "Fine." He readied his talons to snap his way out of the room.

"And no spying on us this time!"

"Yes, yes, whatever." Discord snapped and he was gone, leaving Miles and Twilight in a slightly awkward silence. After a few seconds, Miles seated himself once more and Twilight chirped.

"So! Where were we?"





Discord popped into existence beside Fluttershy, who squeaked in surprise and opened her mouth to speak. Before she could do so however, Discord snapped again, and the two disappeared from the room instantly, leaving the others in a confused silence.

Fluttershy then found herself in Discord's pocket dimension beside his house. Fluttershy glanced around at the murky, disorienting purple space for a few moments before squinting slightly in confusion. "Discord? W-Why did you take us here?"

After leaning down and placing his paw upon Fluttershy's withers for a moment with a smile, Discord floated over to the front door and opened it in wordless offering. Fluttershy's features immediately softened as she made her way past him and into the house. She took to the air and settled upon one of Discord's floating seats, running a hoof through her locks as her nervousness returned slightly.

"Fluttershy, I brought you here so we may have a conversation without risk of being pestered by your little friends." Discord gently closed the door and blinked onto the chair opposite Fluttershy, holding a teacup and saucer. "Now, dearest, I know it's a little early for our weekly tea party, but how's about some ginseng tea as we chatter?" Discord grinned cheerfully and snapped his talons. His singing ginseng teabags began chanting and floating around the room. Fluttershy giggled.

"Oh, I don't mind if I do..." At her word, a cup and saucer appeared before her, and she took them in her hooves gratefully with a smile. "S-So, what did you want to talk about?"

Discord began crunching on his teacup as the teapot floated over to Fluttershy in offering. She daintily held her cup over to the teapot and began to feel her shoulders unwind their knotted muscles as a singing teabag finished its tune and dropped into her cup. The teapot flipped upside down and poured its steaming hot water into her waiting pottery. The sound of the liquid being poured into her teacup made Fluttershy close her eyes for a moment, her anxiety melting away like a glacier showered with soothing, warm water.

"Well, I heard from our new ape visitor that the two of you had a little conversation. Of course, I trust you more than I trust myself, Fluttershy. You know that." Discord paused for a moment, his half-eaten teacup being filled with anti-gravity water. He sipped at the liquid, causing his cup to recede further with each sip, leaving a teacup-shaped, wobbling mass of ginseng tea behind. "However, I don't trust him."

"Oh! Why ever not?" Fluttershy was surprised to hear Discord could be distrusting of someone so seemingly gentle and polite as Miles.

Discord huffed with impatience, unwilling to recite his earlier conversation with the bookworm. "Let's just say he's a little too polite. I merely wish to be careful around him for a while until we know he means you ponies no harm. For all we know, he could want to eat you!"

Fluttershy giggled dismissively, holding in a d'aww at her best friend's display of concern. She sipped at the remains of her drink and wafted a hoof at him. "Oh, Discord! You worry too much... I know you care deeply for your friends' well-being, but you honestly should let him be. He's surely just frightened and confused about this whole thing. Try and put yourself in his horseshoes and imagine how you'd react to being taken away from everything you knew and held dear." Fluttershy placed her cup down on the table between them and beat her wings softly, bringing her seat closer to his. She gently laid a hoof upon his paw.

"I would simply snap my talons and return to where I came from." Discord pulled away, folding his arms and lifting his chin. Fluttershy put her hoof to her mouth and giggled again at her ancient-god-friend's childish display.

"Yes, but he can't do what you can, Discord. He's stuck here. When you put yourself in his place, you have to imagine that you share the same limitations that he does. I know you, Discord. You're just as capable of empathy as anypony else." Discord thought back to the lesson in role-play he learned when he first played Ogres and Oubliettes with Spike and Big Mac, his features squinting as he ruminated. His expression softened and he glanced over at Fluttershy, who smiled warmly at him and placed her hoof on his arm once again. He allowed her to pull his arms apart and sighed.

"Thank you, my dear Fluttershy. Perhaps I am being a little too... Paranoid..."

"Oh, Discord... You're merely being protective. Don't worry, I understand."

"But I swear on my name, if anything happens to you, I'll-" Fluttershy silenced him with a hoof to his snout and a comforting smile. She then floated slowly back over to the other side of the room with careful beats of her wings. Discord couldn't help but admire how everything that mare seemed to do looked like an elegant dance, graceful and yet gentle. After a few moments of silence, Discord grabbed his teacup that had been floating in the air next to him and finished it off, the cup now totally vanishing and leaving behind a mass of tea. He then summoned a fresh teacup and squeezed the lump of tea over it, causing the tea to drain from the lump like juice from a lemon.

The teapot floated over to Fluttershy once again and she held her cup up for a refill. As her drink was topped up, Discord cleared his throat and spoke with renewed vigour. "Alright! With that nonsense out of the way, how's about we shift our weekly tea party forward a few days and move onto brighter topics?"

Fluttershy laughed gently, taking a sip from her drink. "Or, we could still have our weekly get-together as usual, but count this as an extra-?" Fluttershy raised an eyebrow hopefully as she trailed off.

"Oh, ho ha ha! Of course, dearest." Discord chuckled with mirth.
> Damage Control
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, that should about cover it... I guess?" Twilight glanced at Miles from the corner of her eye, trying her damnedest to read his blank expression. "Of course, there's a lot more for you to know and learn, and I so desperately want to dump everything on you in a bundle of verbal info, but..." Twilight pawed at her desk for a moment as she desperately resisted the urge to splurge anything and everything about her world to this alien newcomer. Miles folded his arms and leaned back in his seat.

"Don't worry, Twilight. Thank you for the introduction. I'll have my answers prepared when the test comes around." Twilight's ears perked upon hearing this, and she shot bolt upright with a poorly concealed grin rippling across her features.

"O-Oh, the t-test?! Did I mention a...?" Twilight trailed off before shaking her head. Miles took note of how her mane somehow seemed to remain kempt in spite of the erratic movement. A spell of some kind...? "W-Well, how about we have the test nex-"

"-Don't worry, Twilight," Miles held up a hand, "I was kidding; I remember everything you told me just fine."

Twilight looked somewhat deflated, yet swiftly returned to her friendly-princess smile with practiced fluidity. "Ah, I see..."

Miles stood from his seat and wandered over to the window behind Twilight, addressing her as he gazed across the open landscape before him. "So, I'm lost in a world of various sapient creatures, some of which can use magic. You mentioned that there is some way for non-magical creatures to also make use of magic, but that it's complicated..." Miles whirled his eyes back over his shoulder, glaring at Twilight as she looked shyly down at her desk, unaware of his gaze. "My experience with 'magic' thus far has been..." He trailed off into a breathy whisper to himself. "Less than pleasant..."

Twilight looked over her shoulder to meet his gaze, and Miles turned himself to face her, yet still remained able to turn his head and look out of the window. Twilight seemed perplexed by the part of his comment that she heard. "You've experienced magic already...?"

Miles raised an eyebrow at her in confusion. "Yes, I witnessed Discord appear from behind me just earlier when we first entered this room; I was supposedly brought here via magic... Need I go on?"

As though caught with her hoof in the cookie jar, Twilight's ears jerked upwards for a moment before flattening down onto her scalp in embarrassment. "O-Oh, yeah... Silly me. Hehe..." She folded one hoof over the other and looked off to her right at nothing in particular.

Returning his attention to the window, Miles began to drum his fingers along the windowsill in contemplation. After a few moments, he continued. "As for your offer to allow me to take refuge in your castle, I am indeed very grateful. It will do until I can find my own footing."

"Ah, yes! I'll let you have a portion of my royal stipend to keep you afloat, but let's hope you can find an occupation soon."

"Well, this may be a strange new world, but I do have skills I'm sure could be put to use... Even despite your 'magic'." Miles narrowly avoided spitting the last word with all the venom of a striking cobra.

"Ah, that's great to hear!" Twilight smiled up at him happily.

Miles leaned down to Twilight's level once again. "So, shall we be off then to visit the others?" Miles purred into her ear. "I'm dying to make everyone's acquaintance with a little more intimacy." He offered an outstretched hand to help her to her hooves.

Twilight hopped off her seat as though she suddenly realised she had been sitting over a pit of hot coals and hurriedly trotted around behind Miles before turning to face him, leaving him looking where she just was in surprise. He withdrew his hand with a grimace and turned. Twilight seemed somewhat hurried. "Y-Yes, of course! Hold still for a second..." Before Miles could so much as open his mouth, Twilight charged up her horn and blipped them both into the living space once again.

Miles looked unsteady once they appeared, putting a hand to his head for a brief moment in frustration. "Still not used to this accursed teleportation..."

A nervous giggle rang out beside him, followed by the clip clop of hooves as Twilight made her way over to a seat behind him. "S-Sorry! I'm sure you'll get used to it in no time."

Turning to glance around the room, Miles saw trepidation written across the faces of most of those present; Twilight, however, was struggling to meet his gaze and scrunching her face off to the side in a slight flush. Miles smirked slightly as he felt a bite on his lure, but the moment was short lived as he realised he was once again the centre of attention, being the lone person in the room to not be yet seated. 

Miles felt an odd chill run up his spine as he noticed a bright pink pony with a very fluffy mane was looking at him with stars in its eyes... Literally. He shook his head slightly and thought little of it as he made his way over to the space available between an orange pony and a white pony. Someone looking at him funny is far from the most bizarre thing to happen to him today, after all. After a few moments of silence, the orange pony turned to address him. "Howd-"

A lone finger pierced the air with all the speed and silence of a bullet whipping across an empty plain, slicing through the words of the orange pony the instant she began to speak. Everyone in the room gasped slightly and leaned back in surprise, unsure of what such a sudden gesture could mean. Celestia even jumped off of her seat and looked about ready to run Miles through for a minuscule moment. Miles had opened his own mouth to speak as his finger raised, however the reaction from those in the room had left him somewhat bemused, as he glanced at Celestia for a moment before she coughed in embarrassment and returned to her seat.

"So... Before I get to know you individuals personally, as I am quite eager to do, I should add; I'm afraid I have a burning question running across my mind." Miles lowered his finger and the others in the room immediately and visibly relaxed. Miles leaned forwards slightly, smiling ever so slightly as several others in the room mirrored his movement. "Judging by your appearances, everyone in this room besides me is a female, correct?" He then winced as a squeaking shout dug into his skull with all the subtlety of a bulldozer.

"Yeperoo!!!" The pink pony leapt into the air and somersaulted herself over and past him. She then bolted across the room several times, moving faster than his eyes could follow. She came to a sudden stop, standing in front of him with her nose touching his as he leaned forwards in his chair. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! The super-duper-bestest-partyest-est pony party planner in Ponyville!"

The room went deadly silent for a moment, with the pink mare grinning to high heaven and seemingly frozen in space-time as Miles met her gleeful expression with one of masked irritation. However, his expression quickly became one of major alarm as he felt a sudden yet forceful impulse coarse through his body; he has recently been denied that which he craves the most, after all. It felt as though molten magma was burning him from the inside out, trying its absolute best to bust its way through his superego in a fit of carnal rage. The silence was ringing in his ears like a cacophony of tortured wails that he longed to withdraw from the chaotic void of all that could be. 

He discreetly reached into his pocket and ran his finger across the tip of the broken quill therein as he began to frown; his eyes began to shrink into pinpricks and the beginnings of a wretched smile tugged at his cheeks. The gleeful smile from the pony in front of him waned ever so slightly as she began to look somewhat confused by his strange reaction. 

This pony was so small and innocent. So irritating... Such an easy target...

Seconds passed like minutes as Miles felt his inner impulses battle it out for supremacy when suddenly, the tiny reptile shouted across the room, slicing through the silence like a rocket through the atmosphere.

"Pinkie! We are not all girls, remember?! I'm here too!" Their stare-down was broken as quickly as it had started. Pinkie gasped and looked over at her favourite little green friend, bouncing over to greet him. 

Miles sighed slightly as he straightened out his already-straight collar to recompose himself with steady breaths. It would spell the end for him to lose his composure so early, with so many others around and without a structured plan in motion.

"Oh, Spike! Of course I remember, silly!" Miles noted the little guy's face turn from angry to terrified in the blink of an eye as the mare's rapid bouncing seemed not to be slowing as she approached him.

"Huh, could have fooled me, Spike..." Miles winked playfully over at Twilight as she scowled slightly at him, rolling her eyes. Miles then felt a hoof land gently yet firmly on his shoulder, and he turned to face the orange mare it belonged to. Pinkie and Spike were causing chaos on the other side of the room as the mare addressed him.

"Never mind them, sugarcube. My name's Applejack, an' it's a pleasure to meet ya!" Applejack then offered him her hoof and shook his hand vigorously. 

"The pleasure is all mine."

Applejack then pointed back over his shoulder. "This here's Rarity." The small yet elegant looking mare waved daintily at Miles as he turned to greet her.

"How do you do, darling?"

After observing her demeanour for a moment, Miles reached out and grasped her waving hoof, bringing it to his lips as he kissed the tip and then clasped his other hand over the top of her hoof. He muttered not a word, and while her initial reaction was one of surprise, she visibly relaxed at his action, even shuffling in her seat slightly as she got comfortable. Miles then glanced across the rest of the room, allowing each pony to introduce themselves in turn.

"I'm Starlight Glimmer." Miles noticed this one sounded somewhat deadpan as she spoke, expecting her to add more yet being disappointed.

"And I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest flyer in Equestria! I'm also a Wonderbolt as well as a-"

"-You've already met myself and Pinkie Pie, as well as I believe Fluttershy and Discord. Those latter two aren't here right now, but at least you've made their acquaintance." Twilight ignored the irritated protests of the cyan blue pegasus she had cut off as she spoke to Miles.

"I suppose you could say that..." Miles muttered to himself.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. Please, continue."

"Okay, then... I don't think Spike is really in a position to introduce himself right now." Twilight glanced over at the commotion on the other side of the room as Pinkie Pie gave Spike what looked to be a playful yet painful noogie to his head. "He's a baby dragon, and serves as my personal assistant around the castle. We've known each other for all of his life."

Miles listened patiently before turning his head upon hearing someone clear their throat to his left. To Miles' irritation, it was the large, white pony. She addressed him with all the warmth of ice-water flowing between his toes. "My name is Celestia; I am Princess of the Sun and joint ruler of Equestria with my sister Luna, here." Celestia signalled over to her sister, who nodded in Miles' direction, yet offered no words.

Having 'met' everyone in the room, Miles decided to address them all at once. "I must admit, I'm still very much confused and shocked about this whole situation. For all I know, I may well be dreaming..." He placed a hand to his chin for a moment in thought. "Hmm, I suppose that hardly matters; I'll be getting to know you all and your world in good time, and Twilight has offered to let me stay here in the castle until I sort myself some stability." Starlight and Celestia shot concerned glances the way of an embarrassed-looking Twilight.

"Y-Yes, so I think we should all probably go home for today so Miles and I can finalise our living arrangeme-" 

Poof!

Twilight was cut off as Discord and Fluttershy blinked into existence in the room mid-conversation with each other. "And then you know what I told him?!" Discord asked Fluttershy excitedly.

Fluttershy looked as though she was about to burst out laughing. "W-What did you say?" She forced out between suppressed giggles.

"I told him that I hid it behind his left ear, but when he felt to check, I made it appear on his nose! Ohohaha!"

"Oh, Discord, you're so mean!" Fluttershy scolded, yet couldn't help but giggle at whatever it was they were discussing.

Discord looked up to meet the eyes of an irritated looking Twilight. "Oh, well hello there, Twilight! Ah, and the rest of the gang, too! You're all still here. Thank you for waiting for us; you're such good friends..." Discord's arms extended and weaved around the room, surrounding the ponies and pulling them towards him like fish in a net. "Group hug!"

Miles noticed, with gratitude, that he had not been included in the hug. He carefully observed their varied reactions to the surprise embrace, in an effort to begin to slowly piece together how each person in this room felt about each other. Twilight  and Rainbow Dash looked furious, while most of the others merely looked like they were waiting for it to be over. 

Fluttershy's cheeks were flushed and she was looking up at Discord's face with a gentle smile as she embraced the hug, holding onto his torso tightly. He hadn't noticed this, as he was busy chuckling at the group's collective annoyance. Rarity was desperately covering her mane with her hooves in an effort to keep it pristine; she seemed desperate and close to tears. Pinkie Pie was giggling with joy while somehow still holding onto Spike, who looked about ready to spiritually pass onto the next plane of existence any second as the eternal noogie continued.

"A-Actually, Discord, we were just about to all go back home for the day..." Twilight struggled and yelped as she tried to free herself from Discord's grasp. Eventually, he gave in and let everyone go.

"Oh, well that is a shame... I was hoping to chat some more with my dear new friend Miles over there." Discord looked up at Miles and their eyes met for a brief moment. Miles' expression was blank, but Discord held his usual cocky smirk the entire time. Twilight looked deep in thought for a moment before she lit up with an idea.

"Hmm, well... Maybe you can meet up tomorrow or something... Oh, I know! He could join you and Fluttershy on your weekly get-together! How does that sound, Miles?" Twilight looked over to Miles upon her offer, and he merely shrugged in response.

"I suppose I wouldn't mind getting to know the two of them better. Besides, I feel as though Discord and I got off on the wrong foot."

Discord squinted as though he had just sucked on a thousand lemons, about to berate Twilight for even suggesting such a thing, as well as having the gall to suggest he come to their get-together when it's not her place to offer it; however, he eventually tsked as Fluttershy placed a hoof upon his leg and gave him a reassuring smile. "You know what? Fine, why not?! But just this once... Just this once." Discord narrowed his eyes at Miles momentarily as Twilight sighed in exasperation.

Discord finally snapped his talons and disappeared, yet reappeared a second later, looking down at Fluttershy with an excited smile on his face. "Oh! I almost forgot; would you like me to take you home, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy looked around the room for a moment before gently shaking her head with a shy smile. "O-Oh, um, thank you for the offer, Discord, b-but I think I'll have a walk home today with the others. I'd like to get some fresh air as the day wears on... I-I'm sorry..."

Discord blew a frustrated raspberry and hit the back of his own head so that his eyes came tumbling out. Princess Luna looked horrified and gasped in terror for a moment, receiving a raised eyebrow from Celestia. Surely Luna should have been used to Discord's antics by now?

He caught the eyeballs in his paw and rolled them across the floor to Pinkie, who picked them up and rolled them over in her hooves for a moment before jumping in the air like a cat as their pupils became mouths. "Yah!!!" They then jumped back across the floor to Discord using their tongues before he popped them back into his head. "Fine, fine, I understand..." He folded his arms for a moment and pouted before resuming. "Have a fantastic rest of your day, everyone. Adieu!" With another snap, he was gone.

There were collective sighs of relief from most in the room once he was gone. Fluttershy shook her head and giggled slightly at Discord's display of jealousy. Eventually, everyone else said their farewells and parted ways, leaving just Miles, Twilight, Starlight and Spike behind.

"So, Miles. How's about we sort a room out for you to stay in for now?" Twilight offered.

Before Miles could reply, Starlight interrupted. "Yeah, well, I'm gonna go back to the school to get my stuff ready for the new week's start." She immediately set off for the door without waiting for a reply, making her way out of the castle.

"O-Okay..." Twilight looked somewhat concerned at how bored Starlight sounded. Why was she not excited and intrigued about this entire inter-dimensional event with Miles? No matter, she could have Spike help her out. "So, Spi-" When Twilight glanced down, the little dragon was already gone, clearly not wanting to deal with Twilight putting him to work to serve their new guest. Twilight looked up at Miles and laughed nervously as her ears flattened against her head. "Ehehe... A-Alright, this way, please. We'll set you up in one of the guest bedrooms for now."

Miles watched her trot away, his mind racing with thoughts regarding this strange new world, and how all the work he had done back on Earth had all gone to waste. However, this new world was supposedly a lot smaller than Earth, so he would hopefully have less trouble once he had himself a station of operations, so to speak. It was only a matter of time from there, however he would need to be more careful about keeping his urges in check; he had to make sure he did everything by the book. 

Miles clenched and unclenched his fist as he set off to follow Twilight. His mind flooded with possibilities, making the outwardly silent journey between the two towards the bedroom quiet and awkward for one, but hopeful and exciting for the other.

Life had just thrown Miles a curve-ball, and he couldn't wait to get to work on driving it into a home run.
> Dinner for Two
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight Sparkle was digging through the cupboards in her kitchen in search of something very important in the middling hours of the night. 

"Miles?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Could you please pass me that corkscrew from the other room?" Miles had been living in the castle for scarcely a day now, and she was going to try and make him a meal of sorts to make him truly feel at home. She had insisted that neither Spike nor Starlight help with the preparations, since she felt the need to impress Miles for some reason that she couldn't quite put her hoof on.

"Of course I can, Twilight. I'll only be a moment." Miles walked over to the door and peered back round the frame at Twilight. "Don't do anything too fun without me, princess." Miles winked as he disappeared from the room after a moment. 

Twilight smiled bashfully and waved just after he left the room, leaving her with her hoof raised at nothing and feeling like a dork.

"Ahem..." Twilight coughed into her hoof, playing it off cool in case anyone happened to be watching. She returned to digging through the cupboard, huffing in frustration as she dug with a light flush of embarrassment still lingering across her cheeks. 

The stove above her head held various pots and pans as Twilight seemed to be preparing enough food to feed an army; perhaps she had overestimated Miles' appetite on account of his size? No, he was pretty large; this should be enough for him... She hadn't even asked him what his species' diet was like, but she assumed she couldn't go wrong with various thin soups and fresh bread.

The saucepans bubbled and popped as her frustration grew, the ambience of the kitchen taking on a droning hue that mirrored her growing impatience.

About an hour previously, Spike had been unable to warn Miles of Twilight's obsessive, panicky nature and her horrifically abominable cooking skills before she had ushered him out of the room in a hurry.

"Oh... Where did I put that bottle?" She flicked her tail in irritation as she continued to dig through the seemingly endless cupboard. "It's gotta be here somewhere..." Before she knew it, she had dug so far into the cupboard that only her tail stuck out of the opening. "I can't make a nice meal for Miles without the red wine! Oh, please let it be in here..." She continued to dig deeper and deeper, not realising that she had subconsciously dug herself about 5 feet deep into her cupboard, which should have only been a couple of feet deep at most according to the room's layout.

Twilight heard Miles' heavy footsteps as he returned with the corkscrew. Her head bolted up in alarm, not wanting to be caught in an embarrassing or compromising position, causing her to bump her head on the ceiling of the cupboard.

"OW!!!"

Miles looked around the room for a moment before making his way over to the open cupboard. "Are you alright in there, Twilight? I have your corkscrew." He leaned down to peer through the entrance of the cupboard only to see Twilight rubbing her head and hissing in pain.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine..."

"Okay, good. Why is your cupboard so... Deep? I could have sworn it should only be as deep as the counter-tops."

Twilight looked over at him and then around at her surroundings, noticing her cupboard was not only around three times as deep as it was supposed to be, but also that its contents had seemingly been multiplied. "Huh... How did I not notice that...? Oh, well. I'll check some of the other cupboards in just a second once I get out!"

Twilight wiggled forwards for a few moments with her eyes squinted closed as she grinned in Miles' direction sheepishly. She opened them again, however, after she realised she was still in the cupboard. Miles was looking down at her with an eyebrow raised and a hand to his chin. "Twilight... I don't mean to cause you alarm, but... The more you attempt to approach me, the deeper you're being pulled back into the cupboard."

"W-What?!" Twilight now began to scramble in Miles' direction, and sure enough, the inside of the cupboard seemed to extend more and more as she crawled forwards. Her inching towards Miles was only taking her further from him as the walls of the cupboard seemed to bend and warp. Suddenly, she was weightless and screamed as she fell into unknown depths below her kitchen.

"YAAAH! MILES!!!"

Miles merely looked down into the cupboard, now no longer able to see Twilight at all, an expression of confusion plastered across his face. "What in the world just...? I swear, this damned magic..." He felt no need to follow her into the cupboard; he'd been the victim of magic's horrors one too many times already.

Upon hearing her scream from deep inside the cupboard, Miles decided to go and find Starlight or spike; they might know what to do about this, considering he knew next to nothing about magic.

Twilight heard no reply from Miles as she continued to fall seemingly forever. She flapped her wings in a desperate attempt to fly back up to the surface, but her wings were pinned to her sides by an unknown force. After about a minute of falling, Twilight became hysterical, flailing around as she feared she would be stuck in an endless descent until she passed into the next world.

Suddenly, all of her momentum ceased, and she floated in place. Somehow, her instantaneous deceleration from terminal velocity to stationary had caused her no bodily harm whatsoever.

She lit up her horn and glanced around at her surroundings. She seemed to be floating in an infinite void of purple space. Twilight's panic settled down just as quickly as it had peaked when she noticed a familiar, serpentine being pop into existence below her.

"Discord! What in Equestria are you doing?!" Twilight snarled down at the draconequus, attempting to swat at him with her hooves, but remaining held in place by the now known force of Discord's magic.

"Oh! Twilight! How nice of you to drop by my dimension... What brings you here on this fine, chaotic day?" Discord snapped his talons and the two were suddenly standing on a floating piece of land in the void, which held Discord's house. His eyes were half-lidded as he summoned up a lounge chair and flung himself on it. He snapped his talons and Twilight found herself lying next to him on one of her own, a pair of sunglasses across her brow and a ray-reflecting mirror in her hooves.

Twilight angrily flung away the mirror and glasses. "Discord! Why did you just drag me here?! I was terrified!"

"Now now, Twilight, let's just calm down." Discord sat himself up and poked Twilight's snout with his paw, causing her face to scrunch up in confusion. Discord chuckled before grabbing her and pulling her towards him, petting her mane like a villain holding a cat.

He noticed Twilight twitching with rage in his lap as her horn powered up, and so snapped his talons and removed her horn, immediately rendering her powerless. "Hey, give that back! And stop treating me like a pet!" She hopped off of his lap and faced him with a murderous glare. Discord was clearly amused, yet relented.

"Alright, alright. Just please calm yourself; I had a very good reason for bringing you here, my dear." He snapped his talons and her horn reappeared on her head.

"I'm sure you did, Discord, but not a good reason for the way in which you brought me here. I could have had a heart attack!"

"I'm sorry. I was just having fun."

Twilight's anger slowly dissipated as she sighed explosively. She knew Discord by this point; he had his... Unique ways of doing things. Him being so ready to offer up an apology was a fantastic contrast to when he had previously struggled to force the word 'sorry' past his lips: a further testament to just how far her chaotic friend had come. "Okay... Anyway. Why did you bring me here, Discord? What's your good reason for summoning me so suddenly?" Twilight sat down on the grass, indignantly waiting for a reply.

A gigantic, blue and orange speckled, lithe monster that Twilight had never seen before flew past their island as Discord stood from his seat. "Well, I would invite you inside, but this will be very brief..."

"Yes?" Twilight prompted, raising an eyebrow impatiently.

"I would like you to watch our tea party with Miles in secret."

Twilight groaned in frustration. "Guh! I knew it! You still don't trust him..."

Discord sighed and ran his paw down his snout, stretching it out like an elastic band as he did so before letting go as it snapped back against his face. 

"You seem to trust Miles, and while I still have my doubts, I would like to trust him too." He dropped to the ground, now standing with his claw to his beard as he spoke. "So, if you watch our tea party together, you will be able to observe any signs of aggression from him if he tries to antagonise me when Fluttershy isn't looking." Twilight began to roll her eyes, unable to believe her friend still held distrust for the resident alien. Yet, she smiled at his expression of concern, willing to hear him out and potentially humour him. "If I'm to have legitimate reason not to trust him, I would at least like not to be alone in having immediate access to the evidence. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I can understand why you'd wish for me to do something like that. If it turns out your suspicions are unfounded, we'll both see evidence of that and be able to put it to rest, and if they are not, then at least you won't be alone in your knowledge of that. Does that sound about right?"

"Exactly, Twilight! So, waddya say, ol' buddy ol' pal? Give an old draconequus some piece of mind?" Discord's demeanour switched from serious to teasing in a heartbeat as he leaned in towards Twilight's face, invading her personal space as he was so often prone to doing.

She rolled her eyes once again and lightly pushed him away with a hoof. "Well, as I said, I understand how such a thing would help you rest easy, but I'm not sure it would feel right..."

"Whatever do you mean?" Discord put his claw and paw to his hips and pouted.

"Well, I'd be spying on him and Fluttershy without their knowledge, which just doesn't feel right to me..." Twilight held a hoof to her mouth as she bit her lip in indecision.

Discord blew a raspberry and wafted a claw at her. "Oh, pfft, don't worry; I already talked it over with Fluttershy, and she would be okay with it."

"Oh, okay, but Miles..."

"Please, Twilight?" Discord clasped his claw and paw together in prayer and jutted his bottom lip at her in an attempt to look cute. Unfortunately for him, it just made him look even goofier than usual. However, Twilight knew she wouldn't hear the end of it unless she agreed. What harm would it do? Miles would never know, and Discord would be allowed peace of mind.

"Oh, alright, Discord... But just this once, okay?" Twilight raised an eyebrow at Discord as she recycled his lines in a lightly mocking tone.

Discord let it slide. "Oh, thank you, Twilight! You really are a good friend." He picked her up and gave her a big, exaggerated hug before setting her back down. "Alright, well, you'd better be off back to the castle, I suppose. Tell Miles to be at Fluttershy's cottage by three tomorrow!" Before Twilight could reply, he snapped his talons and she suddenly found herself back in her kitchen.

However, she unfortunately found herself upside down inside her cupboard with her hooves sticking out of the end; it appeared to be back to its natural size. To Twilight's horror, Miles and Spike were seated at the table, looking down at her.

Miles appeared surprised and yet amused, while Spike merely looked bored. "See, Miles? I told you she'd be fine. Discord's a good guy now, so weird stuff happening is usually just him playing around. Later." The tiny dragon hopped down from his seat and waddled out of the room.

Miles began to chuckle lightly as Twilight wiggled around; she was grateful that her tail was hanging down between her hind legs and covering her shame, yet felt unbelievably embarrassed to be caught in such a compromised position nonetheless. "Twilight." She stopped her squirming for a moment to look up into his emerald eyes, blinking her eyes in an adorable display of curiosity. He simply pointed to his forehead with a light smirk, causing her eyes to widen as she lit up her horn and teleported upright and outside of the cupboard.

She coughed in embarrassment and seated herself across the table from him, fiddling with her hooves as she looked down into her lap. She struggled to find any words, and continued to grow even more uncomfortable as silent seconds passed. She couldn't help but notice that the arrangement of the table had changed, with the cutlery and pottery now being perfectly symmetrical.

"So, what happened, Twilight?" She was ripped from her thoughts by Miles' voice.

"Oh, just Discord pulling another one of his pranks on me... Ehehe..."

"Hmm... Well, as long as you're okay." He reached across the table and took one of her hooves between his fingers, giving it a light squeeze. Twilight looked over to the cooker hastily.

"Oh! The dinner must be done by now!" She hopped down from the seat and trotted over to the cooker, lifting the lid of the biggest pan and taking a sniff after a shy glance over her shoulder.

Miles remained seated, looking slightly irritated as he bore holes through her neck with his stare. This mare was clearly emotionally juvenile, which would make his job both easier and harder simultaneously. He tsked to himself before standing and making his way over to Twilight's side. His gut had told him to choose her and he would not turn his back on it.

"It smells delicious, Twilight. We humans are omnivorous, so this should do just fine." Miles leaned across and sniffed at the steam wafting from the pan.

"Oh, excellent! Let's get this plated up, then." Twilight dished out some of the soups in a selection for Miles, and the two seated themselves across from each other.

"My goodness, Twilight. I only just arrived and you're already wine and dining me...? Whatever did I do to deserve the honour of a private meal with such a pretty princess pony?" Miles slowly rotated his spoon around in the bowl closest to him, lifting up the alarmingly watery, steaming broth to his lips and placing the end of the spoon holding the liquid into his mouth. He hummed contentedly, deciding it might be best not to tell her that the soup was much too thin and lacked any proper seasoning whatsoever. "Delicious soup, by the way. Thank you."

Twilight giggled into a hoof as she poured the now uncorked wine into some glasses and floated one over to Miles. "Well, Spike and Starlight tend to take care of their own meals since I'm not much of a..." She looked off to the side for a moment before catching herself. "Ahem... what I mean is that they've already eaten, so that's why it's just the two of us for today." She began slurping at her own after a moment before realising he had complimented her. "Oh! I-I'm not such a good cook, but thank you..."

The room fell near-silent for the next few minutes, with nothing but the sounds of wooden spoons scraping against pottery and the slurping of soup filling the void. Neither felt uncomfortable, and Miles watched her every move like a viper waiting to strike, yet remained careful not to be caught staring. She seemed unsure of herself, awkward in her movements, lacking in pride. Turns out she was the perfect choice, after all.

Miles smiled to himself as he slurped another spoonful of soup. He grabbed the last of his bread and wiped it around the inside of his third small bowl of soup, finishing the food with a smack of his lips. He reached into his pocket in search of a napkin, but must have misplaced it in the fight shortly before he had been taken to this strange new world. 

Patting down his pocket to smooth it out once his fingers had been digging through it, he instead reached across to his right to procure a napkin from a stack resting in a small, hatched trunk lying open at the edge of the table. As he slowly and deliberately brought the napkin to his lips, he looked down into Twilight's face with interest.

Twilight noticed him dabbing at his mouth, and suddenly felt severely self-conscious. Was she making a mess of herself? Was she being improper? Her horn lit up and she roughly yanked a couple of napkins from the top of the stack, causing the one underneath the two she had pulled off to fall out onto the table.

Miles hummed to himself nonchalantly and strummed his fingers across the table as he watched her confirm his suspicions. This mare was an open book.

Twilight rubbed the napkins around her lips as she swallowed the last of her soup and then dropped them into her bowl with satisfaction once she was done. She was a princess; she knew dinner etiquette! She noticed Miles pick up the stray napkin from the table and flatten it out before folding it up and placing it into his breast pocket, making sure to line up the edges perfectly.

Twilight was about to comment on this when Miles broke the silence. "That was wonderful, Twilight. Thank you, once again." He interlocked his fingers and leaned very slightly across the table towards Twilight, silently demanding her attention. "Now, what is the plan for tomorrow? Am I going to Discord and Fluttershy's little get-together?"

Twilight matched his lean, drawn in by the tone of his voice. "Oh! Yes, if you'd like. They'd be willing to have you at three tomorrow."

"Oh, so you've spoken with them already about timings?"

She appeared somewhat panicked for a moment in the context of her earlier conversation with Discord. "Ah, y-yeah... Discord told me to tell you to be there by three tomorrow when he pranked me earlier, hehe..." She fiddled nervously with her hooves. "Of course, I'll escort you there since you haven't yet been around the town."

Miles raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh, you got to speak with him? And you were chatting about little ol' me?"

Twilight began to sweat slightly, not wanting to be caught in a lie, her guilt dragging her towards the floor as gravity's pull suddenly felt about ten times as powerful. "W-Well, yeah, since you just arrived here and all, and this situation is so bizarre; it's hard for discussion of you not to come up, you know?" She grinned nervously at him and silently prayed her bluff would work.

Miles sat in silence for a few moments, locking his eyes to hers like a laser. He smiled and chuckled once he noticed her begin to squirm. "Of course, Twilight. That makes complete sense. Regardless, I look forward to it; that little butter-yellow pony seems ever so kind."

Twilight still seemed slightly on-edge. "Oh, well it's unsurprising that you'd think that. She is the element of kindness, after all."

"Oh? What does that mean, exactly? I seem to be missing some context there."

"Ah, yes, I didn't tell you about the Elements of Harmony yet... Never mind, that's a story for another day. It's gotten so late so fast! Spike and Starlight are probably in bed already." She stood from her seat and magicked the dishes into the sink, ready for Spike to wash come morning, also covering the leftovers in the various pans with their respective lids. "W-Well, I should probably be heading off to bed for the night. Feel free to take a look around the castle or simply go up to your room and hit the hay."

Miles looked up at her from his seat as she hastily trotted for the door. "Thank you once again for your hospitality, princess." His voice was warm, and caused Twilight's hoofsteps to slow slightly as she turned to look at him with a smile.

"Goodnight, Miles."

"Goodnight, Twilight." Miles listened to her trot down the hall and up some nearby stairs. 

Once certain she was out of earshot, he mumbled to himself with a gentle smile as he tossed and caught a leftover wooden spoon he had held onto. "Strike..."
> Tea Stains
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Piercing rays of golden sunlight slipped between the cracks of the curtains in Miles' guest room. Unfortunately for him, the sun was positioned so that they were currently placed across his eye-line; Miles slowly opened his eyes and turned to face the curtains, holding an arm in front of his face to shield his eyes. Upon glancing at the clock to his left, he noticed it read twelve o'clock.

Miles dragged his legs across to seat himself on the side of the bed. Thankfully he slept well, as these ponies had beds that were much too long for them, and so it suited his large frame quite well. He still berated himself for oversleeping, though. However, he had been glad to note the previous evening that their bathrooms were also seemingly identical to those on Earth.

He stood from his bed, straightening himself up to his full height with a crack of his back. He then made his way over to the chair leaning against the radiator under the curtains, which held his clothes upon it, neatly folded into a pile. He took his clothes in hand and brought them into the bathroom to put on after a shower. He barely fit in the shower, but made it work well enough to clean himself of any leftover carnage from yesterday. After being cleaned and dressed, Miles began to make his way around the castle, taking himself on a self-guided tour. He had not taken Twilight up on her offer to explore the castle the previous night.

As he plodded along, making sure his posture was perfect at every moment, Miles cast his mind back to the previous day, and found himself struggling to come to terms with all that had transpired. In the space of a near-instant, he had seemingly travelled across dimensions, unless he had fallen into some kind of coma and was currently dreaming of rainbows and unicorns. However, this whole experience seemed much too vivid to be the latter case.

Miles chuckled to himself as he mused over how this entire ordeal felt even stranger now that he'd had some time to digest it than it did in the immediate moments following his arrival.

Miles eventually reached a door and heard voices chattering behind it. Upon opening the door, he was greeted by the other three inhabitants of the home eating breakfast over a small table. Twilight looked over in his direction and her eyes lit up immediately. "Oh! Miles, you're just in time for breakfast. Did you sleep well?"

"I slept splendidly, thank you, princess."

"Princess?" Starlight spoke up, sounding disgusted by the almost affectionate tone Miles had used.

"Yes. She is a princess, isn't she?" Miles raised an eyebrow at her as he made his way over to the table and seated himself across from Twilight and between Spike and Starlight. 

Yeah, I suppose she is..." The stools at this table were a little smaller than the seats they had used the previous night, so Miles had to hunch uncomfortably so as to not push Starlight and Spike off of their seats with his shoulders. With the four of them huddled over a small table like this, the size disparity between them became more vividly noticeable than it was before, and Starlight in particular began to look very uncomfortable. She shrunk away from him, as though touching his arm would give her some kind of disease.

Twilight had her cheeks stuffed full of pancakes like a chipmunk as she ate faster than her little body should have been capable of. She looked over at Miles with shimmering eyes, gesturing to the huge stack of pancakes to her right. "Miuws, feew fwee ug-" Twilight tried to speak before swallowing, causing her to choke a little and fail to get across any meaning through the use of her vocal cords whatsoever.

Miles gritted his teeth slightly as he looked down at the table in front of him, hearing Spike and Starlight giggling slightly to his sides. Spike was the first to speak. "Twilight... You might wanna work on swallowing all those pancakes before you try and speak... pfff" Starlight simply held her hoof to her mouth in an attempt to muffle her giggles, but to no avail.

Twilight bolted upright in her seat, flushing a deep crimson as she hastily swallowed the full six pounds of pancakes held within her apparently cavernous cheeks, wincing slightly as it all painfully slid down her oesophagus. She panted slightly as she repeated what she had said to Miles. "Ehehe... S-Sorry... As I was saying: Miles, feel free to take some pancakes for breakfast and use anything you'd like from the kitchen."

"How come we're in a different kitchen from last night?" Miles questioned as he glanced up from the table and rolled his jaw in an attempt to loosen it once more.

"Well, I'm glad you asked! This kitchen has better suited storage for breakfast time, and is positioned better for required accessibility and atmospheric-"

"What Twilight is trying to say is we have different kitchens for different stuff, since this castle is big." Spike deadpanned, cutting off Twilight mid-lecture.

Twilight looked slightly irritated as she simply went back to stuffing her cheeks with pancakes. "I see... Well, I don't mind if I do, then." Miles reached over and grabbed three pancakes with a pair of prongs, however appeared slightly troubled by the pancakes, glancing over between the large stack and then back at the ones he had chosen feverishly.

Spike and Twilight were busy stuffing their faces, but Starlight took note of his expression in earnest. He began to sweat slightly, seemingly making his mind up after a few moments. He placed the middle pancake of the three he had chosen back onto the pile and then split the pile in a specific point, selecting a pancake from around the middle and substituting it for the one he had previously. He then rebuilt the stack and moved it back over to the side of the table, now seemingly somewhat content with his choice.

After one final cautious glance in Miles' direction, Starlight went back to her own breakfast, wanting nothing more than to be done with her food and far away from this freak of nature.

Twilight broke the silence that followed. "So, Miles, how's about I show you around town before you go meet up with Discord and Fluttershy at her place? Princess Celestia messaged me this morning already and told me she's issued a notice of your arrival to the citizens, so there should be no panic if you go out and about."

"That sounds great, Twilight; I can't wait." Miles smiled at Twilight as they continued to eat. Once they were done, Spike waddled over to wash the dishes as Twilight made her way towards the exit of the castle immediately. Starlight was already nowhere to be seen once again. "Hold on there, princess. I only have two legs, you know." Miles teased.

"Please, call me Twilight; it feels weird to be addressed as a princess for me, still." Miles grimaced slightly, irritated that she was too oblivious to bite on that one.

"Alright, Twilight."

Once they had made their way outside, Miles got his first taste of life in this world beyond the looking-glass. "Wow... You guys live in a world that's almost as colourful as you are."

"Yeah, it sure is a nice town... We don't have enough time for me to show you everything, but I can take you on a quick tour to the more well-known spots. Come on!" Twilight sprinted off to the right while giggling to herself, seemingly excited to show her world to Miles. She had expected another remark from him about how he only had half as many legs as her, but to her surprise he matched her speedy pace with no issue. He actually appeared quite content.

Twilight, however, was unable to keep this pace for long, and so slowed with heavy breaths as they reached their first landmark. "T-This... Is Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie stays with the Cake family and sells baked goods... Huff..."

The many ponies walking around the market square showed varied levels of reaction. Some slowed their pace, looking up at Miles seemingly in awe, interest or fear; others picked up their pace, dashing away in fear or shovelling their kids off somewhere safe.

It seemed these ponies were quite skittish; he hadn't done anything since his arrival and yet many were already terrified of him. Miles chuckled to himself for a moment, while Twilight looked up at him in confusion.

"What's so funny? Don't mind those ponies, Miles, they'll get used to you soon enough. Us ponies value love and tolerance above all else, so you're unlikely to experience a lot of discrimination from them once they get to know how gentle you really are."

Miles' laughter picked up once he heard this, holding his stomach slightly as he chortled. His laugh was exceedingly loud, and Twilight's ears pinned against her head in embarrassment. "M-Miles, you're not helping yourself here! They look even more scared now..."

"I-I'm sorry, Twilight. Perhaps it's just nerves getting to me, you know?" Miles feigned the wiping away of a tear in his eye as his laughter died down.

"I guess I can understand that..."

"Excellent," Miles cleared his throat and addressed the remaining crowd in a booming voice, "please forgive my outburst, ponies. I mean you no harm." Most ponies seemed to loosen up slightly when he said that, yet remained wary as they made their way away from him. "So, where to next, Twilight?"

"Well, we'll next be going to Carousel Boutique, which is Rarity's home and place of business. Maybe she can get you fitted up with some new clothes sometime soon, since she's a very skilled seamstress and you don't have any other clothes with you besides the ones on your back. You mentioned during our first proper conversation yesterday that you humans almost always wear clothes, right?"

"That's right, Twilight. We don't have natural coats, and it's also a public decency thing."

"Hmm, that's interesting..."

Once they had been to look at Rarity's boutique, they made their way past several landmarks of Ponyville, such as the town hall, the schoolhouse, the hospital, the School of Friendship, the day spa and a few of the various shops around the town.

Twilight and Miles were finally close to Fluttershy's home shortly before three o'clock. "Of course, there are other places, such as the train station and Sweet Apple Acres, but those are a little out of the way, so we can visit those some other time."

"That's great, Twilight. Thank you very much for the tour."

Twilight lifted her chin slightly, replying in a posh, joking mockery of his English accent. "You're very welcome, Miles. The pleasure is all mine." Twilight giggled to herself once she finished, not noticing Miles' slightly strained smile. He began to chuckle along with her after a few moments, however.

"Oh, you are funny, Twilight."

"You know, Miles, it might just be a coincidence, but your accent sounds just like that of Octavia Melody..."

"Pray? I'm afraid I do not yet know of whom you speak." Miles smothered some extra lather on his accent in mockery of himself.

Twilight's giggles erupted into laughter, and Miles laughed along with her. "I guess I can look into that coincidence later." Her giggles slowly began to die down. "For now, you better head on up this path here to Fluttershy's cottage; I suspect they're already waiting for you."

Miles patted her gently on the withers. "Thanks, Twilight. I'll see you a little later. Want me to meet you back at the castle? I remember my way back from here."

"Sure! See you then!" Twilight waved at him as she trotted off and rounded the corner, peeking back around it once Miles had set off up the path. She continually berated herself for what she was about to do, but remained steadfast in her decision that it was for the greater good. Miles earning Discord's stamp of approval was imperative to his integration into their world.





The short path to Fluttershy's cottage was serene and peaceful, unsurprisingly reminiscent of the mare herself. As Miles approached the front door of the cottage after crossing the bridge leading over a small stream, some birds chirped and flew by his shoulder towards a birdhouse in a nearby tree. He was somewhat surprised that Discord would allow himself anywhere near this place, as it quite clearly represented a contrast to his nature.

Miles balled up his fist and thumped on the font door, noticing its being partitioned around its midsection. Miles stepped backwards away from the door in anticipation and after a few moments and the approaching clopping of hooves, the top half of the door slowly creaked open and a little butter-yellow head poked from behind it.

"O-Oh, Miles, good afternoon..." An almost silent voice called to him. "Come on in; you're right on time. Discord is here already, so feel free to just join him for a moment and I'll bring out the tea..." The bottom half of the door opened and allowed Miles entry as the tiny yellow pegasus trotted off into the house.

Miles had to crouch down slightly to fit through the door, but was pleased to note the ceiling of the interior was much higher than the doorway. The inside of Fluttershy's cottage was as warm and homely as one would expect, with various ornaments and critter beds scattered throughout, including picture frames of Fluttershy with her friends and many of her with Discord.

As expected, Discord was sat across the room upon a large chair, with a small table in front of him. Two other chairs had been pulled up around that same table. Discord quickly noted his presence and waved at him cheerfully.

"Miles! So good to see you again! Won't you join me?" Discord gestured to the chair across from his with a paw. "Fluttershy won't be long; she's quite adept at preparing tea." Miles walked across the room and over to his seat without a word, looking into Discord's features the whole time in search of any hidden resentments behind his mask, but he surprisingly found none.

Miles heard a very muffled, slight twinkling sound to his left for a moment, but paid it no heed. After taking his seat, he leaned back and smiled at Discord, offering up a hand. "Good to see you again too, Discord. I must admit I've been quite looking forward to this; I feel as though our impressions of each other yesterday were somewhat unsavoury. To a better introduction?"

Discord reached out and took Miles' hand in his paw. "Agreed. To better times." They shook and released without a hitch. Discord then snapped his talons and summoned up a large plate of cucumber sandwiches. "Care for a cucumber sandwich while we wait for dear Fluttershy?"

"Did you already have these prepared?"

"Oh, no no no, I can create these at will with my magic. Fluttershy and the rest of our friends certainly seem to enjoy them... Although, Pinkie Pie seems to prefer my chocolate rain somewhat..."

"Chocolate... Rain?" Miles raised an eyebrow in confusion.

Discord had already tipped the entire plate of sandwiches into his mouth (including the plate itself) and summoned up another. "Yes, chocolate rain." He said simply between chews.

"I think I'll be okay for now, Discord, but thank you for the offer." Miles seemed somewhat off-put by the idea that Discord was creating this food from seemingly nothing.

"Well, if you'd prefer, I could make something else for you... Is there anything else you'd like to eat? Just name it and it's yours."

Miles frowned slightly in disbelief. "You can create food from nothing?"

Discord nodded. "I can create anything from nothing, Miles. I'm Discord, the Lord of Chaos; I can do anything!" Discord raised his arms to his sides and lifted his chin as he closed his eyes in arrogance. Trumpets sounded behind his head and showered them both with confetti that dissipated before it touched anything.

Miles sat in silence as he watched the sandwiches on Discord's plate split their crusts from their whites roughly. Discord noticed Miles' chest pocket contained a neatly folded napkin. He then closely watched Miles' expression as he ate the crusts and haphazardly mushed the whites into a ball and placed them into a pocket that he pulled out from his skin, which snapped shut and showed no signs of ever having existed. He then daintily patted the place the pocket had been and summoned up a fresh plate of sandwiches on the table between them.

Discord pretended not to notice Miles shuffling in irritation at his actions, instead summoning up a nail file and filing his claws absentmindedly as the gentle clip-clop of Fluttershy's hooves approached from the kitchen. She skipped into the room with her tiny friend Angel Bunny in tow carrying a small cup of sugar.

"So sorry I took so long. The kettle has been acting up a lot lately..." Fluttershy lifted the tea tray from her back with her mouth and placed it close to the centre of the table. As Fluttershy trotted over to her seat she thanked Angel for his help and he hopped off upstairs. She hummed in her usual angelic voice as she seated herself. Discord noticed Miles wringing his hands slightly and staring intently at the tea tray.

Discord looked over at Fluttershy and cheerfully remarked. "Oh, no worries, dearest. Miles and I got to have a nice chat while you were away. I feel we're on much better terms, now. Isn't that right, Miles?"

"Hm?" Miles seemed distracted by the tray, yet did his best to remain polite. "Oh. Yes, I do believe I can agree."

Fluttershy clopped her hooves together slightly. "Oh, wonderful! How's about we get started with some tea, then? Discord, do you mind if I take a few of these sandwiches?"

"Of course, dear, take as many as you'd like."

"Thank you..." Fluttershy beat her wings slightly as she reached across the table for the sandwiches and lifted a few onto her own, smaller plate she had laid out. She placed it on the arm of her chair and then went back to remove the three teacups from the tray and placed one in front of every individual at the table. She then reached back for the teapot, however felt her hoof stopped by a gentle push from Miles' hand. Discord visibly bristled at this.

"Please, allow me, Fluttershy. I have longer appendages." Miles hummed as he looked deep into Fluttershy's eyes. She then giggled slightly and leaned back over into her chair.

"Of course... Thank you, Miles. Isn't he such a sweetheart, Discord?"

Discord screwed up his face slightly at his friend's comment and quietly mumbled as he looked off to his right. "Yes, yes, a real sweetheart..."

Discord noticed the relief wash over Miles' face as he used his reaching for the teapot as an excuse to nudge the tea tray directly into the centre of the table. Discord then looked over towards the wall of the house he could see Twilight looking through with her magic in hopes she could also see Miles' odd behaviour, as his dear friend Fluttershy was much too kind to think anything of it. 

Discord hinted towards Miles very slightly with his eyes as he looked at the wall, but flinched as he noticed Miles glaring at him as he poured Fluttershy's tea into her cup.

Discord caught himself, looking back over in Fluttershy's direction with a smile and smoothing over his beard as Miles came over to pour his drink for him. Discord silently berated himself for allowing Miles to make him nervous; Miles' closeness suddenly felt a lot more threatening than it had previously. Surely this powerless ape wasn't getting to him, the Lord of Chaos and most powerful being in the Universe?

Miles' gaze slowly turned towards the wall Discord had been looking at, and Miles couldn't help but notice this was the direction from which he had heard a twinkling sound when he first entered the cottage. Discord began to sweat slightly as he cleared his throat and pried for Fluttershy's attention.

"Oh, Fluttershy, I have to say," he sipped from his cup and drank from it like any normal being would, "this tea is delicious... What kind is it today?"

Fluttershy appeared somewhat startled, as this was the same tea she had prepared for him many a time, but answered honestly regardless. "O-Oh... Thank you, Discord. This is just standard yellow tea..." Fluttershy had noticed their gazes wondering over to her wall, and so she grew anxious that she had perhaps left something embarrassing over there.

Fluttershy began to shake a little bit as she quickly scanned that area of the cottage for anything she might have left there near the images of her and Discord... Thankfully, she couldn't see anything she feared she might have left lying around, and so breathed a sigh of relief.

Miles eventually returned his gaze over to the other two members of the gathering, and suddenly clapped his hands together in an effort to reset the mood. His clap made Fluttershy flinch into herself slightly and hide behind her mane. "Alright, that should be everyone sorted. Now, let's see how good this tea is..." Miles lifted his cup to his lips and took a sip, finding that he did indeed enjoy its contents. "Discord is correct, Fluttershy; this tea is indeed quite tasty."

"Th-Thank you..."

Silence reigned over the table for the next few minutes as everyone sipped from their cups, surprisingly including Discord. Miles finished off the last of his beverage first and set down the cup in satisfaction. He then leaned back in his chair and spoke up in a teasing tone. "So, is this all you guys do: sit and drink tea in silence every week?" He laughed with mirth.

Fluttershy looked down at her cup in nervousness as Discord merely frowned at him. "No, we do not. We have a nice chat about our lives and enjoy each other's company." Discord and Miles stared each other down for a straight forty seconds before Fluttershy felt the heavy atmosphere overwhelm her.

"I... I'll be right back..." Fluttershy flapped her wings and quickly took off upstairs for a moment, leaving Discord and Miles alone once more.

Miles looked over at Discord with a slight grin. "Well, that one went down like a lead balloon, eh?" Miles elbowed Discord in the side, and Discord felt tempted to drop a lead balloon over his head, but resisted the urge. "You know I was kidding, right?"

"In case you couldn't tell, Miles: Fluttershy is a sensitive soul." Discord tossed his cup into the air and it fell onto the tray directly on top of Miles' cup, the two slotting together perfectly. Miles noticed this with slight anger; did Discord really think he would allow himself to continue to be domineered? "I'm going to go up and check on Fluttershy. I suggest you get going for today." The door to the cottage flung open, indicating this was less of a request and more of an order.

"Hmm... Alright, no worries. I'll catch you around. Send Fluttershy my kindest regards and utmost apologies." Miles cracked his knuckles as he made for the exit, hearing another twinkling sound come from the wall as he approached the door. Miles hummed to himself as he exited the door and glanced over to the right, yet saw nothing from whence the twinkling sound came. The door closed roughly behind him and he cracked his neck as he twisted it slightly.

Miles kicked a stone from the path and into the stream running below the small bridge leading to Fluttershy's home as he made his way back towards the castle. "A sensitive soul..." Miles laughed quietly to himself as the next piece of the puzzle reared its head in his mind's eye.
> Straws
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miles was making his way along the path he remembered as leading back into town and towards Twilight's castle. His mind went back to the tea party and its unsavoury conclusion. He would get back into Fluttershy's good books later; she seemed like the easily forgiving type. 

As he made his way into the town square, the cobblestone paths almost seemed to gleam in the sunlight as ponies ventured to and fro across his vision, presumably running errands as they lived out their daily routines. Various stalls bustled with life and conversation as ponies interacted as though everyone else they were in contact with were lifelong friends. 

The entire situation felt somewhat familiar to Miles, yet uncanny in that the creatures in front of him were unlike anything else he had experienced in his life. The bizarre nature of the environment was beginning to sink in once Miles was allowed to soak it in without company.

On the other side of the square sat the bakery he remembered Twilight referring to as 'Sugarcube Corner'. Twilight had promised him a supporting income, but he was determined to begin earning his own way to his ultimate goal, lest he feel bittersweet in its conclusion. And so, without much delay Miles made for the Sugarcube Corner, as it was the nearest landmark that he could draw reference to.

As he made his way across the square, ponies appeared to dodge and weave out of his path as though he were parting the red sea. Noticeably, Twilight seemed to be correct in that Equestria was mostly inhabited by mares. The ratio is supposedly three to one in favour of mares, and a quick head count seemed to support that hypothesis. There must be a lot of lonely mares in this world.

Miles glanced around at the various ponies surrounding him; their expressions varied, with many seeming terrified much like before, while others were seemingly intrigued or even allured by his presence, their smiles wry as they looked him up and down almost hungrily.

Many of the mares began whispering to each other, and Miles could only gleam snippets from what they were saying. They appeared to be talking about him, as their eyes kept pointing in his direction as they spoke, often in an almost cartoonish manner. A small group of three pegasus mares nearby began giggling to each other in a small huddle with their hooves to their mouths in a futile attempt to stifle their chatter.

In the brief moment they were not watching him, Miles walked over to the group. The rest of the square gasped and retreated behind the various stalls, yet remained in the square likely out of curiosity. The mares continued to laugh and chatter as he eventually reached them and caught the tail-end of their conversation.

"... So exotic..." One of the mares purred with a dreamy smile. Her coat was an almost blazing red, and she had a long, deep blue mane with white highlights. Her face had been dolled up with makeup to perfection, perhaps rivalling even that of Rarity.

"But he might be dangerous... D-Did you see his sharp teeth? What if he eats ponies...?" The smallest mare said, sounding and looking somewhat like Fluttershy in terms of mannerisms. Her mane was a dull purple of middling length, and her coat was a silky smooth chocolate brown with faun highlights running up her legs, almost looking like long socks.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't mind if he wanted to have a taste of m-" The red mare began, yet swiftly bit her tongue as the final mare tapped her on the withers and pointed behind her in fear. The final mare's amber coat glistened slightly with the residues of sweat in the sweltering heat, and her short, pink mane quivered slightly as she pointed.

The red mare whipped around to be met with Miles leaning over her and the rest of the group, now down on one knee to bring him closer to their level. Miles merely waited in silence for a few moments with a polite smile, waiting for one of them to attempt to speak.

The moment the red mare opened her mouth, Miles began speaking. "Good afternoon, ladies. Apologies in advance for the specific question but I'm in a bit of a hurry; you wouldn't happen to know if there's any kind of board around here offering odd-jobs from commissioning customers or anything like that, would you?" The mares' eyes widened as he spoke, seemingly impressed in some way.

"... U-Uh-" Miles clasped a hand over her snout after a moment as she began to speak. The shy brown mare frowned slightly at this.

"Feel free to think for a few moments before you reply. No need to go stuttering and making a fool of yourself; take your time. Say, while you think that over, may I inquire as to what you three were giggling about as I came over? I must admit I hate to miss out on a good joke!"

The amber mare now spoke up. "O-Oh, nothing... We were just talking about... Our trip to the day spa! Yep! Ehe..." 

"Oh, I see... 'Exotic' session, was it?" 

"Y-Yeah, you could say that..."

"Well, I didn't say that, Miss... Your friend here did!" Miles laughed slightly as he released the red mare's mouth. She remained frozen, her friends looking at her in suspense. Judging from their expressions, Miles would say these were very close friends indeed, considering they almost appeared like they were expecting her reaction.

The red mare eventually took her hoof and pushed the locks of her mane back over her neck and glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes. She was grateful her crimson coat did well to hide the flush currently coursing through her cheeks. The amber mare merely rolled her eyes and looked away, yet Miles couldn't help but feel frustrated. This was not the reaction he was currently gunning for; had he truly lost his touch? He was expecting fear or anger, but certainly not this.

"Well, I don't know about any boards per se, but I can think of a couple of things you could do for me if you're looking to make a few bits, handsome..." As the mare winked at him and giggled, Miles immediately felt himself losing his temper. 

Miles stared intently at the floor for a few moments.

"Well, I'll keep you in mind, Miss. However, I'm afraid I must spend my time in finding a stable source of clientele." Miles rose back to his full height; the mares looked up at him, with the red mare seeming somewhat disappointed and downtrodden. With a strained smile, he gave them a brief wave as he made his way over to Sugarcube Corner once more.

Once Miles was out of earshot, the girls began chattering in a hushed whisper once again as the rest of the ponies in the square began to peek out from their hiding places and resume their regular activities. The amber mare began teasing. "Well, looks like there'll be no hot monkey dick for y- oof-"

"Are you sure you wanna finish that sentence, Nougat?!" The red mare hissed with a snarl.

"-Can you two stop fighting, please?" The brown mare finally spoke once again, yet this time with a level of authority, being less of a request and more of an order. Her two friends seemed brought to attention immediately. Her posture became more rigid and her eyes seemed to shine with determination. "It seems our new monkey friend has some... reservations... But, I'm sure that with a little probing we can get you what you want, Match..." The previously submissive mare now stepped out in front of the other two, who continued to bicker behind her slightly as they slapped at each others' hooves when they thought she wasn't looking.

She whipped around and caught them in the act. "Girls! Stop this. Now." She walked off to the side of the square and out of the way of passing ponies, with the other two naturally following her lead.

"S-Sorry, Muddy..." The red mare lowered her head.

Muddy sighed and walked back up to Match, bringing her into an embrace. "I will get you what you want; I always have, haven't I?" Match nodded into her embrace, breathing a sigh of comfort as she began to nuzzle into the crook of Muddy's neck. Considering that Muddy was somewhat smaller than the other two mares, Match had to lean down ever so slightly to do this.

Nougat stepped forward, seeming somewhat reluctant to speak. An understanding and affectionate look from Muddy was all it took to coerce her into speaking her mind. "Y-You know, if Match wants it... I wouldn't mind, uh... Helping out... N-Not that I want to or anything!" She looked off to the side indignantly as she breathed through her nose in frustration.

Muddy broke her embrace with Match and trotted up to Nougat, bringing her face around with a hoof and gently forcing her to look into her eyes. Nougat felt her nerves unwind as Muddy's loving gaze melted away her concerns.

Nougat huffed and puffed up her cheeks slightly with a blush, causing Muddy to laugh to herself a little bit. Once Muddy stepped away and seated herself on a patch of grass nearby, Nougat's facade seemed to break down a little as her excitement took over and she jumped over to Match. Match now jumped into her hold and they bounced around together, giggling like school fillies as they chatted away.

"I wanna know how tall he is!"

"We never even got his name..."

Muddy watched them both with adoration as they continued to natter about the creature. She looked off towards Sugarcube Corner, wherein their new monkey friend now lay, running various scenarios through her mind. She was broken from her thoughts as Match sauntered over to her. "So, you girls actually wanna take a trip to the spa today? I need some way to unwind after our run-in with that hunk-o-junk..." Match purred slightly once again with a brief, distant look in her eyes. She caught herself and cleared her throat before continuing. "M-My treat!" She looked down at her hooves in slight concern. "I do need a hooficure, now that I think about it..."

Nougat trotted over and grabbed Match's head, teasingly ruffling up her styled mane, much to the mare's dismay. "Bah! You and your petty makeups; you should try going eu naturale once in a while." Nougat released Match's head and lifted her chin with a sarcastic flutter of her eyelashes.

"My mane! My beautiful mane!" Nougat merely laughed and nudged her playfully on the shoulder.

Muddy stood to her hooves as her posture shrunk down once more and her shy facade returned. "W-Well, I think a trip to the spa sounds very relaxing... Let's go! I-If you want to..."

After a few moments of fiddling with her mane to bring it back in order, Match celebrated. "Yes!" She then took off at a run towards the spa.

"Guh! Fine..." Nougat followed after her at a slightly more reserved pace.

"W-Wait up! My legs aren't as long as yours..." Muddy scrambled to follow them both as the sun began to lower slightly in the bright blue sky.





Miles stepped through the entrance of Sugarcube Corner, having to lower his head to fit through the door as usual. Once he raised his head once more, he heard the gentle jungle of the bell attached above the door to signal the arrival of patrons. Much to his irritation, the entire establishment went silent upon his arrival; various ponies halted with their mouths open and food left just inches away from their gaping maws.

A short, seemingly slightly overweight mare behind the counter gasped and trotted away into the kitchen, returning with the pony he was reluctantly pleased to see. Pinkie gasped when she saw him and floated in the air for a few seconds somehow. "Miles! Hi! Watcha doin' here today?" The rest of the establishment seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and return to their activities upon seeing Pinkie launch herself at Miles from across the room. She attached herself to the front of his clothes as she pressed her muzzle against his nose.

It seemed that Pinkie's trusting of him meant a great deal to these ponies, which he supposed would work to his benefit, and so he would forgive her current and blatant disrespect for his personal space. He reached around behind her neck and grabbed her by the scruff. Her legs went limp like a puppy and her eyes seemed slightly confused as he placed her back down on all fours.

"Pinkie Pie. Do you mind if we have a chat somewhere more private?" Miles casually cracked his knuckles as he spoke, glancing around the store as he did so.

"Sure! Follow me!" Pinkie began bouncing across the store and behind the counter, passing the plump mare. She appeared slightly distressed.

"Pinkie, are you sure you want to-" The mare was cut off as Miles walked past her, causing her to jump backwards a little bit and look up at him fearfully. Miles merely ignored her as he followed Pinkie deeper into the back of the store.

A somewhat tall, thin stallion was holding some paperwork in his hoof as he looked down at it and made his way past Pinkie and towards the overweight mare. "Honey, do you think we can handle all these- Woah!" The stallion scrambled to press himself against the wall as Miles walked past him, dropping all his papers in the process.

Miles stopped and looked down at the stallion, who was now frozen in terror and glancing nervously back into the back of the shop and towards Pinkie. The stallion looked over at the overweight mare, who he could assume was his wife. He spoke in an extremely hushed voice, as though Miles would tear him in half if he made too much noise or moved too many muscles on his face. "H-Honey... The kids..." The stallion signalled back with his eyes where Pinkie continued to hop along gleefully.

The overweight mare shrugged slightly in frustration and seemed torn over what to do. "I-I don't..."

Miles leaned down and gathered up the stallion's papers, neatly stacking them into a pile and handing them to him. "Good afternoon, sir," he looked over at the mare and nodded in acknowledgement, "miss." The two remained perplexed, yet seemed slightly less terrified by his presence as Miles slowly continued to follow where he'd last seen Pinkie Pie hop off to.

Pinkie slammed open the door to her room and began bouncing on her bed wordlessly. Miles followed her inside and gently closed the door. Pinkie stared at him as she bounced with a large grin on her face. It seemed she was waiting for him to speak, so Miles addressed her. "So, Pinkie Pie... You seem like the outgoing type, so I figured you might know a fair bit about this town considering you work here, is that correct?"

"Yepperoo!"

"So would you happen to know if there is anywhere around town I can go to look into finding ponies with D.I.Y needs that they want addressed?" Miles began pacing around the side of the room, observing the various party assets and bright coloured streamers cascading around Pinkie's room. He pulled the part of the quill he had taken from the castle from his pocket and began fiddling around with it, making sure Pinkie could see him do so.

Pinkie immediately seemed distracted from his question. "Ooooh! Whatcha' got there?" Pinkie bounced onto the floor and ran up to Miles, jumping up at him to look closer at the quill.

"Oh, I found a quill in my room last night and it unfortunately broke. I like to keep something to write with on my person at all times, and this was easy enough to fit into my pocket anyway." He lied, his eyes becoming hazy as his distaste for this hyperactive pink pony spiked. It seems her attention span was as terrible as he'd suspected. "Would you like to take a closer look?"

As Miles reached down for her hoof, he took it in his free hand and began to run the sharp end of the quill along the top of her pink appendage. Pinkie blew a raspberry and pulled away from his grasp, actually seeming somewhat bored by this point. "Oh, pfft, it's just a silly quill? I've seen sooo many of those before!"

Miles snarled as his temper neared its limit. He replaced the quill into his pocket. Pinkie had made her way back over to her bed and was bouncing once again, giggling at Miles' display of anger. "Oh, you! You should find something better to carry around with you, like a party cannon!" Pinkie bounced onto the floor once more, and pulled a miniature cannon seemingly from nowhere and aimed it at Miles.

His eyes widened as his instincts kicked in, yet before he could react, Pinkie let the cannon rip, and it showered him in an explosion of confetti. Miles merely stood there in confusion for a moment, before he turned his back on her and began picking the pieces of confetti from his person and dropping them to the floor. He held some fingers to his brow in frustration as he continued to struggle against his anger. Coming to this pony of all ponies had been a mistake. "Surprise!" Pinkie had appeared on top of his head, and was now leaning over his face upside-down.

Miles stepped backwards with an enraged grunt and reached up to his head, trying to pry the pink pony from his cranium; however, once he reached for her, she was already gone, rolling around on the floor snorting and laughing behind him.

In a fit of rage, Miles stomped his foot into the floor as he whipped around and scooped up the pink pony, slamming her onto the bed. Pinkie continued to giggle despite the rough treatment and the hateful scowl on Miles' face. "Woooah! You're so big and strong; you're like a living fairground ride! Oooh, spin me round in the air! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!"

Miles picked Pinkie up by her scruff once again and held her out in front of him. He remained completely still and glared at the floor. Pinkie reached into the air and was still begging him to spin her around, but her voice had become distant white noise to him by this point. He placed his free hand into his pocket, running a finger along the tip of the quill once again as he teetered on the crux of his current ultimatum.

After a few moments, he made his move.
> Haggling
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Pleeeeeeeeease?!" Pinkie continued to beg as Miles made up his mind on how to deal with this pink menace. He snapped his fingers with his free hand and dropped Pinkie to the floor, trying his utmost to ignore the squeaky sound as she landed. "Awww! C'mon!"

Miles turned and glanced down at the floor where he had stomped his foot, noticing the flooring was damaged from the impact. He put his fingers to his chin and stroked his stubble for a moment. "Pink pony-"

"Pinkie Pie!" She corrected.

Miles continued to stare at the floor. "Pink pony, I see you have some damage done to your flooring over here." He pointed down at the floor for her to see, but Pinkie's mind was elsewhere.

"My. Name. Is. Pinkie. Pie! How did you forget already? You got it right a minute ago!" She crossed her fore-hooves across her chest with a pout as she sat back on her hind legs.

Miles approached Pinkie once again and spoke through a slightly clenched jaw. "Yes, of course... Pinkie Pie," he spat, "I came here to ask you about work, and it seems I have a potential commission sitting right here." Miles pointed down once again. "Would you ponies be willing to pay for this kind of thing to be repaired? Or is there some kind of fix-all pony magic nonsense I don't yet know of?"

"I dunno, you'll have to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Cake about that! Besides, you made that hole yourself just now, silly!" Pinkie returned to her bubbly exterior in an instant, closing her eyes as she bounced up to him. Once she opened them, however, the human was already gone and her door firmly closed. She hummed to herself thoughtfully for a moment before becoming distracted by a balloon in the corner of her room which had been gradually deflating over the past few days and obviously needed replacing.





Miles made his way back the way they'd come, cursing quietly to himself in frustration over his time being wasted. "Cretinous ponies..." As he reached the front of the store once more, Miles made his way past a slightly cowering Mrs. Cake and stood at the back of the line approaching the register she was now stationed at. Some of the ponies smiled at him as he passed them, while others cast their gaze to the floor. Miles was indifferent at this point; he needed answers.

The line gradually shortened in an agonising reflection of Miles' patience. He'd considered ignoring the line and addressing Mrs. Cake regardless, but he had a public impression to cement. A large, red stallion stood in front of Miles, chewing on a piece of hay. He had a huge, green apple adorning his flank and seemed perpetually bored.

Miles tapped the stallion on the shoulder. The stallion turned to glance over his withers. His eyes crawled up and down Miles' frame at a sluggish pace, yet he remained stoic and seemingly unaffected by Miles' presence.

Miles smiled at the stallion and placed a hand upon his hip as he attempted to make small talk and kill time. "Young stallion, may I ask why you chew on that little sprig in your mouth? What benefit does it bring you?"

The stallion glanced left and right, now seemingly uncomfortable. "Uh... Nope." With that, the stallion turned once again and returned to his previous state of impersonating a statue. Miles got the impression the stallion had either misheard him, or did not understand what he had said. 

Miles sighed to himself and instead took a closer look around the room instead to kill the time. The many ponies chowed down on their sweet treats, their blissful little faces beaming with joy, albeit not without the occasional cautious glance in Miles' direction.

One mare greedily stuffed her face with cake, sending crumbs cascading around her and tumbling onto the floor. Miles began to grow increasingly frustrated as the colourful miniature equines went about their meaningless, insignificant business as though the world they live in were to be taken for granted.

A polite cough sounded from behind Miles. Upon coming out of his daydream, he noticed the line in front of him had dissipated and a mildly irritated, elderly mare had attempted to get him to move. Miles peered down at the mare and placed a hand to his chest. "Terribly sorry, madam. I was in a world of my own, just then."

The mare quietly hmph'd as Miles stepped up to the counter. With each step he took, the chubby mare behind the counter shrunk further towards the floor, trying her best to merge with it and disappear. "H-How can I help you, Mister...?" Miles frowned and abrasively grabbed the edge of the counter as he peered over at the mare, who had now seemingly tucked her legs up into her own belly. Miles snickered slightly to himself as he realised the mare looked and likely felt like a colourful loaf of bread.

"I don't know, you tell me." Miles winked.

"What...?"

Miles frowned slightly. "You deaf, little pony? I asked you to tell me how you can help me."

Mrs. Cake appeared flustered as she slowly rose to her shaky legs. "W-Well, you're supposed to request something from m-"

"I know, I know," he laughed, "I'm messing with you. I do hope I'm not making you too uncomfortable, miss." Miles reached out and twisted a post-it note pad next to the register so that it was now parallel with the edge of the counter. "I don't look that disgusting, do I?" He feigned insecurity as he ran his hands across his body, straightening out his clothes with a playful smile.

"N-No! Of course not, sir... So, what can I do for you today, i-if I may ask?" Mrs. Cake slowly settled back into her skin as Miles gently folded it around her plump frame.

"Well, I noticed that there has been some damage done to the floor of Pinkie's room. I was wondering if you ponies would be willing to pay for something like that to be fixed?" Miles leaned back and rolled his shoulders as he settled his gaze upon the mare with a belated and deliberately drawn out release of breath.

Mrs. Cake thought to herself for a moment. "Well, we sometimes call someone in to fix those kinds of things, but my husband usually brings out his toolbox to fix things himself..."

Miles couldn't help but smile as his worries concerning magic preventing the flourishing of his livelihood dissipated. "Well, I don't know how much those ponies usually charge, but I can guarantee I could have it fixed in good time."

"W-Well, I'd be happy to pay you the standard rate if you would be so kind. Although, I'd-"

"That's great, little miss. You won't regret hiring me, I assure you." Miles interrupted the mare as he leaned across the counter and ruffled her mane. "I'll be back in a couple of hours to fix it. That sound alright to you?" Miles had already begun to walk towards the door, looking back at the mare over his shoulder.

Mrs. Cake struggled to see him past the massive line of ponies now shuffling forwards towards the counter. "Y-Yes, that sounds good, but I-"

"Alright, see you later!" Miles held up a hand as he made his way out of the door. 

Wasting no time, Miles began looking through the various stores Twilight had briefly shown him, looking for a place to purchase the necessary tools and supplies. Eventually, he found a D.I.Y store that would likely be selling that which he was seeking out. The interior looked somewhat dim, yet cosy, with various tools and products hanging from the ceiling and scattered across the walls.

Upon walking through the door, a drowsy-looking, youthful earth stallion with a light grey coat glanced up from the magazine he was reading on the counter. He was clearly well built, yet spooled through the magazine with clumsy movements lacking in confidence.

His sky blue eyes went slightly wide and he dropped to all fours, assuming position behind the register. Miles immediately walked over to him. "Good afternoon, friend. How is your day? Oh, what are you reading there?" He reached for the magazine, noticing various mares clad in erotic clothing covering most every last inch of the pages. The stallion immediately snatched up the magazine and stashed it below the counter before Miles could touch it.

The stallion seemed reluctant to reply through his blatant embarrassment, but hesitantly cleared his throat and forced out a mewling response. "H-Hello. What can I do you for?" Miles stared down at the pony for about half a minute, barely moving a muscle the entire time. It seemed there was a trend in this world concerning these ponies and their inability to answer simple questions. The pony was clearly bemused, yet couldn't keep his eyes on Miles' for long before looking away. Eventually, Miles spoke up.

"Well, I'm looking for some D.I.Y supplies: sealant and the likes. You have any?"

"Oh, y-yes. Right over here, sir." The stallion trotted over to the back of the empty store, signalling to some bottles of products as well as some nails, hammers and other various tools.

"That's great." Miles reached out and grabbed what he needed. "You don't mind if I pay you back later for these, right? I'm completely broke right now, but I should be coming into some money very soon."

The stallion went silent for a moment, looking at the floor for in thought. "Well, I don't usually do that for new customers, but..."

"But...?" Miles knelt down to his height and raised an eyebrow encouragingly.

"But, I mean... I'm sorry, I c-can't trust new customers to pay me back like that... Especially not..." The stallion caught himself and petered out into silence before he could finish.

Miles frowned with a slight sneer. "Especially not what?" The stallion began to shake on his hooves, looking between the supplies Miles was holding and the register with fervour.

"I-I can't let you do that... I'm sorry." The stallion steadied his shaking and looked up into Miles' sneer with determination. "Times are tough for me, you know...? I can't afford to take these kinds of risks."

Miles closed his eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath as the stallion spoke. He reached out and grabbed the back of the stallion's neck, taking a fistful of his mane. He then almost pressed the stallion's face up against his as he bellowed. "Especially not WHAT?!"

The stallion's pupils became pinpricks as his shaking returned with a vengeance "S-Sir, I-I... I-"

Miles noticed the stallion had tucked his tail between his legs and had tears in his eyes. With a sigh, he released the poor pony and stood to his full height. He dusted off his sleeves and looked down at the quivering pony. "Buddy. Hey. Hey!" Miles tipped the stallion's chin up with a playful smile. "I'm messing with you. Why would I want to put the business of a good pony like you at risk over such a small thing, hm?" The stallion reluctantly looked up into Miles' gaze and followed his lead back into the centre of the empty little store. Miles placed the various items on the counter and beckoned the stallion to join him.

"A-Ah, yes, I'm glad you understand. Times are tough for us all, you know?" The stallion felt his nerves begin to ease slightly as he chuckled.

Miles smiled in reply. "Indeed. It is a shame that it has to be this way." The stallion noted how Miles almost sounded forlorn as he said that. "Oh well. It is what it is, I suppose." Miles stroked his hand across the handle of the hammer he had intended to purchase. "Boy, I really got you going there, right?!" He laughed, slamming the end of the hammer down on the counter with a little more force than was natural as he finished speaking.

The stallion jumped slightly as the hammer struck. "Y-Yeah! Haha... I was kinda freaked out, I'm not gonna lie!" The stallion nervously laughed along with this strange, muscle-bound creature.

"No worries, bud. I'm sorry I took it a little too far. I just wanted to test your mettle, you see? You're clearly a cultured stallion, after all." Miles winked at the stallion and signalled under the counter with his eyes.

"Heh, yeah, you got me good... I-I'm not all that cultured..." The stallion coughed the last part into a hoof.

Miles picked the hammer back up and tossed it between his hands, examining it closely for a moment. "Alrighty then, pal. You know, I can tell you'd be a real hit with the ladies around town if they knew just how cultured you are." He shrugged dismissively. "Oh well. Regardless, I'll be back in a little while with a payment for you." He lowered his voice as he spoke, laying down the hammer directly in front of the stallion with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

As Miles made for the door, the stallion began stammering from behind him. 

With a knowing smile, Miles turned around to heed the pony's call. "W-Wait! I-I mean, uh..." The stallion had begun sweating slightly once again. "I suppose I could let you take... Half of this stuff with you for now, and you can pick up the rest of it later when you pay...?" The stallion sluggishly turned his head away from Miles as he hesitantly forced the words past his lips.

Miles smirked and made for the stallion once more, patting him on the head encouragingly as he retrieved the half of the items the stallion had allowed him. "Good lad. You've done me a favour, thank you. I'll be back later today with full payment. What time do you close?"

"Uh, I close at ten..."

"Alright, I'll see you then."

"A-At ten...?" The stallion asked quietly with poorly concealed concern.

Miles pretended he hadn't heard him as he exited the shop with tools in hand. He looked down at the hammer with a victorious grin. "Looks like we're in business."
> Foundations
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight glanced up from the book she was scanning with passive attention as a large creature stepped through into her study.

"Oh, Miles! S-So, how did the tea party go?" The purple princess pony put her patented princess smile on as best she could for her new friend. As Miles raised an eyebrow and made for the seat across from Twilight, she cast her mind back to just moments before Miles arrived back at the castle...





"Surely you now see something is off with this creature?!" Twilight flinched at the obvious venom in Discord's voice; she would have liked to hope she and her friends had taught Discord better than to be so reluctant to accept a newcomer into their circle of friends, but she knew better than to question Discord's dedication to his best friend Fluttershy.

"Discord... He might be a little... Different..." She peeked reservedly at Discord from behind a wing, lest she risk angering him further with a confrontational attitude. "But, he really doesn't seem to be mal-intentioned. There's clearly good in him..."

"Oh, please... He's done nothing but terrorise everypony but you ever since he got here!" Discord visibly fumed as steam blasted from his ears. "Didn't you see poor Fluttershy?! I just finished consoling her moments before I came here!"

"W-Well, we both know how sensitive Fluttershy can be..." Discord visibly frowned as Twilight attempted to reason with him. "The both of you were fighting, after all, so the blame can't be placed completely on Miles..." Twilight muttered as she brought her wing back across her face once again.

Discord gaped in disbelief with a belated intake of breath. "What?! You're defending him? I don't know what happened to the Twilight Sparkle we all knew, but you! You're a total stranger..." Discord's demeanour sank as disappointment spread across his features, his booming voice trailing off to almost a whisper. "Twilight. I can understand if you don't care about aiding my suspicions, or think I'm somehow to blame, but it breaks my heart to see you brush aside your good friend Fluttershy's plight just because you're attracted to the alien..."

"Wh-Wha-n-no! I-" Discord sorrowfully closed his eyes and snapped his talons, vanishing in an instant as Twilight ran over to him desperately. "Th-That's not..." Twilight collapsed, her ears and wings drooping towards the now damp, oak floor of the dingy study as tears began lightly dripping from her eyes.

"I'm the Princess of Friendship... How could I-?" Her head bolted upright as she heard a door open from down the stairs. Immediately, she fixed her mane and quickly wiped her eyes, bringing a book out from her desk in an attempt to look busy.





Miles maintained his raised eyebrow as the princess seemed lost in thought with an absent, clearly forced smile across her face. Upon closer inspection, he could visibly see her eyes were slightly puffy as though she'd been crying. He placed his tools upon the desk with a gentle clink. "Well, thank you for asking, princess. The tea party was fine. Although, I'm afraid poor Fluttershy may have been upset by the friendly banter between Discord and myself." Miles leaned back in his seat and closely watched Twilight's very telling expressions as he spoke. She did not seem at all surprised to hear what he had said about Fluttershy. "I'll be sure to make it up to her later." Miles winked reassuringly at the mare, and she couldn't help but feel somewhat relieved.

Miles was far from perfect, but Twilight would remain steadfast in her belief that there was clearly a whole lot of good in him. Discord would calm down over time as Miles integrates into their world. "Oh, that's great to hear, Miles..." Twilight made a silent vow never to downplay the problems of her friends in future as she relaxed her shoulders.

"That Discord character certainly can be fiery one, eh?" Miles chuckled, and Twilight couldn't help but giggle along with him. Discord certainly was fiery, but only because he's sweet enough to care.

"...And I let him down..." Twilight muttered to herself.

"Hm? What was that?"

"O-Oh, nothing. I'm just feeling a little exhausted from our hasty trip around town, is all."

Miles did not look convinced. "Of course, yes." He fiddled with the cuff of his shirt as he spoke, brushing it for dust that Twilight's eyes could never hope to distinguish. "Say, Twilight, would you say we're friends?"

The mare perked up upon hearing this, seeming somewhat caught off guard. "Yes, of course!"

"And friends help each other out, right?" Miles rose from his seat and approached the princess as he slowly made his way around the desk.

"U-Uh, yeah, absolutely..."

Miles halted beside her as he leaned down on the desk, bringing his face close to hers from above. He began to gently whisper to her after making a show of checking to see if they were being observed. "Well, you see, while I was in town I came across some potential work..."

Miles knelt down to her level, commanding her to maintain eye contact. "O-Oh, that's great!" Miles smiled at the praise.

"Thank you, princess," Twilight felt his breath wash across her face like a wave of hypnotic vapour, leaving her reeling and slightly aloof. "But I'm troubled, as I do not yet have a place from which to conduct my work."

Twilight's ears slunk back down to the sides of her head as she forced another smile. "Oh, y-yeah..."

Miles brought a large, gentle hand around the back of her neck and maintained her visual attention. He took her hoof in his other hand and held it tenderly, the mare now becoming putty in his hands as he enveloped her entire world. "I could really use my own station of operations, so to speak. A house, if you will."

Miles felt her hoof begin to slip away very slightly as the mare appeared somewhat reluctant. "W-Well, houses are somewhat cheap, b-but I don't know if I can afford to disrupt my budgeting to buy-"

He smirked slightly as Twilight trailed off in her hesitancy. "No, no, what am I saying? I'm terribly sorry, princess; I couldn't- no, I shouldn't ask so much of you..." Miles looked towards the floor and loosened his grip slightly. Twilight pushed her hoof back into his grip with alarm as she brought his face back to meet hers with her magic.

"W-Wait, no! I mean, uh..." Miles peered wistfully into her eyes for a moment only to slink away once more, as Twilight suddenly felt crushingly cold and empty. "I-I could- I, uh..."

"It's alright, Twilight; you've already done so much for me already, what with promised monthly financial support..."

"I could ask for you!" Twilight blurted, almost in a shout.

"Hm? What was that?"

"I could ask... Mayor Mare..." Miles steadily drew closer once more, this time placing one hand on her hind leg and squeezing ever so slightly.

"Of course, I ask far too much by requesting a house, but... Friends still help each other to an extent, right?" Miles began moving his hand a little, gently cradling the back of her neck with his other hand as he restrained a victorious grin. Twilight was now breathing feverishly as her pupils dilated in anxious excitement. "So, how about I just ask for the right to build one right here in this little town... Where we'll still be able to-" He somewhat roughly squeezed Twilight's thigh as she now flushed uncontrollably. "-Hang out."

"Y-Ye..." She now audibly panted as her eyes were locked onto Miles' face. This feeling was unlike any magic she had ever seen or experienced. His alien, yet confusingly handsome features breathed fluid life into his pale flesh. His accent, his voice and its deep pitch, his looks, his size; all of it was so excitingly alien to her. It was as though he was reaching out and engulfing her entire being; her soul was fully prostrated for him to dissect, and yet for some indescribable reason, she couldn't have been happier for it. "Yeah... I guess I could ask M-Mayor Mare for a..." Twilight continued to gently pant as she almost lost herself once more.

"Permit?" Miles finished for her with a slight grin. The mare absentmindedly nodded as Miles swiftly removed his hand from her leg and ruffled her mane playfully. His smirk became toothy and wry once he noticed the disappointment permeate her entire frame. "That would be perfect, Twilight. Thank you for helping out a friend in need."

"N-No problem... Heheh..." Twilight couldn't help but let her ears droop slightly.

Miles began walking towards the door. "I have a client to take care of, but I'll be back later tonight. Alright?"

Twilight smiled sweetly at him. "Okay, no problem!" The princess failed miserably to hide the sadness in her voice.

Miles winked at her as he made his way through the doorway. "Thanks again."

Twilight sat alone in the dimly lit room, listening closely to the heavy thuds of Miles' footsteps as he made his way back out of the castle and into town. With each and every echoing thud, images of the day's events flashed through her mind one by one as though on a looping film reel. 

The tour, the tea party, the blow-up with Discord and Miles being so close to her she could practically smell him. All but the former of those events had left a hole in her heart, yet not a single one of Miles' footsteps succeeded in doing anything but brutally forcing those holes to expand. She put a hoof to her chest and resisted the urge to sob with all her might.

"Twilight?" A tiny drake peered around the corner of the doorway in concern. Twilight gasped and sniffled her sorrow into her back pocket before answering Spike.

"O-Oh! Hi, Spike."

"Hey... Was that Miles just now? How's the big guy doing?"

"Yeah... He's just gone into town for some work he's found." Twilight peered down into her lap as she meekly explained.

"Huh... And more importantly, how are you doing? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Spike raised an eyebrow as he began looking her up and down.

Twilight looked up in alarm and grabbed the dragon, pulling him to face her with his magic. "Nonono, Spike, of course not!" Realising she'd overreacted, the purple mare let Spike go as quickly as she'd grabbed him. "I-I'm sorry, Spike... Just had a long day, is all."

Spike did not look convinced. "If you say so. Just, uh... Take it easy, I guess?"

Twilight gave a slight, yet very genuine smile of appreciation. "Thanks, Spike..."

As Twilight tried to bring him into a hug, the tiny drake slipped away in a hurry. "Uh, yeah no worries, so long as you're alright... Okay, bye-" In a zoom of wind, Spike vanished. Twilight giggled lightly at his antics before turning to her desk. She sighed.

"Well, guess I have a letter to write..."





Miles whistled in victory as he strutted along back towards Sugarcube corner, hammer in one hand and the rest of his supplies in the other. In the course of a single day, he was on track to having both a house and a form of income within the imminent future. 

As he progressed, the various ponies he crossed paths with continued the trend of their reactions, ranging from awe to disgust or even fear; he had to admit he couldn't help but enjoy being so much taller than the other inhabitants of this world. That was nothing he wasn't used to though, of course.

The series of events thus far had felt to him like destiny; the multiverse had chosen him to come here. It was in this world he could achieve that which his old world could not offer him. The thought brought a grin to his face; as strange and unknown as this world was, it was nothing he couldn't get used to in the name of purpose.

The Sun had been slowly sinking for a while now, and Miles could not help but recall Twilight's tale of the large, white horse he had met being behind the Sun's movements. Such a notion remained ridiculous, but nonetheless endearing that these innocent little ponies were gullible enough to believe their ruler could move an astral body of such immense size in such a way, even with magic.

As Miles neared Sugarcube Corner, he began flipping the hammer around in his hand as though it were an oversized pen before preparing to greet his first client. As he straightened out his clothes, he noticed those three little pegasus mares from earlier that day back over by the square. They appeared to be fighting over something. After this moment of little thought, he returned his attention to Sugarcube Corner and pushed through the door.





"Look, look, there he is!" Match pointed with her hoof as she prepared to sprint over towards the town's resident alien, only to be firmly jerked back by a comparatively smaller hoof belonging to Muddy.

"What did I tell you?" Muddy's disapproving gaze snuffed out Match's struggles.

The crimson mare sighed in disappointment and defeat. "Think with my head, not with my-"

"-Black hole..." Nougat interrupted with a snigger, making sure to avoid all eye contact with the other two mares.

Match's nostrils flared as she growled at Nougat and made to swat at her. "Why, you little-!" The two mares began wrestling in the mud, doing little other than pulling the other's mane.

"Girls! We literally just got out of the spa, and now you're rolling around in the mud!" The miniature mare slapped a hoof to her face with a shake of her head. "I'm not sure that today's the day we make a move on the monkey."

Match looked up at Muddy, her cheek being pulled comically by Nougat's hoof as she did so. "Wha-? B-But you-"

"Match." Muddy glared down at Match and the two larger mares went still, releasing each other begrudgingly.

"Fine..."

Muddy's frame went slack as she scraped idly in the dirt with her hoof. "Let's go home, girls... We could build a pillow fort or something and get some cups of hot cocoa, i-if you'd like..."

Nougat and Match perked up immediately. "I'm gonna build the biggest fort! Everypony knows I have the greatest sense of balance in Equestria..." Nougat raised up onto her hind legs and spun like a ballerina in an effort to illustrate her point.

Match gave her a shove, causing Nougat to tumble to the ground. "Nuh-uh! I'll build the biggest and best fort!"

Nougat smirked at Match. "Oh yeah...?" She and Match bent down as though readying for a race home, when Nougat suddenly whipped around and gasped, pointing behind Match. "By Celestia! It's the alien! And he's naked now, like us!"

Match stumbled and jumped around, her eyes scanning every inch of the town centre like a laser beam. "What?! Where?!" Upon not receiving any response, and noticing Muddy roll her eyes, Match turned back around to find Nougat already halfway down the street. "H-Hey! No fair...!" She immediately set off running after Nougat at breakneck speed.

Muddy had simply seated herself in order to enjoy her friends' light bickering, and so stood up to her hooves once she noticed Match glance over her withers to check Muddy was following. "I-I'll catch up! See you both at home!" Muddy set off after Match to show her she was indeed following, but came to a halt once her two friends had rounded the corner at the end of the street.

After a few moments, Muddy set her sights on Sugarcube Corner. Match would be overjoyed if she arrived home with some good news to end their day, and she couldn't help but crave the ever so sweet ring of her grateful voice.

Casting aside any doubts or reservations, Muddy made for the door, silently praying her idea would come to fruition.





Miles had begun work on the flooring of Pinkie's room, doing his utmost to ignore the clearly insane mare's million questions and incomprehensible speech patterns.

"So, Milesy, what's your favourite food, huh? Do you hyoo-mans eat ponies? Are there ponies in your world? You're real big; just how big are ya? What's the-"

Miles had heard just about enough. "-PINK PONY!" His bellowing voice seemed to shake the very foundations of the building they were in as Pinkie began to bounce more rapidly with her mouth forming an 'o' shape.

"Ohmygosh! That was so loud! I'm good at that too, ya know? Like this!" Pinkie suddenly pulled an entire band's worth of instruments from her mane and played them all at once, in a disharmonious cacophony of blaring white noise that halted Miles' hand in his work. Pinkie put all her instruments away as quickly as they had materialised. "Also, it's Pinkie Pie, remember?! You say it like this, easy: Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie-"

Miles placed his hands over his ears and cradled his head as the pink pony continued to rapidly chant her own name. He eventually released his ears, with a large vein popping out of his forehead along with the whites of his eyes having some compromised blood vessels on account of his fury. "I'll take a shotgun blast to the arsehole before I allow such a ridiculous, inane name to pass my lips again!"

Pinkie clearly hadn't paid attention, as she was now bouncing around in circles, continuing to chant her name. Miles returned to his work, however found himself treating his tools a little more roughly than he should have been.

Miles heard a polite cough from behind him, and turned to find a meek-looking Mrs. Cake, seemingly shaken by his shout. "M-Miles, there's somepony here to see you..."

Miles smiled at the plump pony and patted her on the head. "Thank you, Mrs. Cake. Tell them I'll be finished up here shortly and then they can have me."

He found himself rushing his work as he hammered in the finishing nails, not of course without making sure they were placed as perfectly as possible first. At this point, he was desperate to escape the pink party pony, lest he truly do something he regrets this time.

As Miles arrived back at the front of the store, Mrs. Cake wordlessly handed him a bag of bits with a nervous smile and pointed over to an extremely small, brown mare sat in a seat in the corner of the store. "There's the mare asking to see you... Thank you for your help fixing the floor, Miles..."

"No problem, Mrs. Cake. Feel free to call on me any time you find yourself in need of-" Miles trailed off as the mare had already slunk away back behind the counter and was serving a new customer. He frowned as he readied his hand to snap his fingers, however begrudgingly let it fall back to his side. He then made his way over to the colourful corner of the store.

Immediately he recognised this mare: her amethyst mane shimmered slightly in the light as she fiddled with her faun hooves in wait, clearly unaware of his current presence. The mare's muddy brown coat almost reminded him of home, until he realised how distinctly alien the rest of her features were. As he approached, the mare looked up into his face. Her deep, purple irises almost seemed glazed as though she were about to cry, yet her face displayed no sorrow. 

The pair stared each other down for a few moments before Miles signalled to the seat across from her. "May I?"

"O-Oh, of course..." The mare's tone of voice distinctly reminded him of Fluttershy; perhaps excessively shy mares were common in this world? "Do you remember me? I'm Muddy. We met earlier today... W-Well, sort of..."

"Of course I remember you, Muddy. My name's Miles. How could I forget a face like yours?"

"Oh?" The mare's face hardened ever so slightly for the briefest of moments. A glimmer resounded from behind Miles' flesh-mask, as he quickly realised this mare donned a mask of her own. 

The mare quickly corrected herself, however. "I-I mean, thanks... Heh..."

Miles strummed his fingers for a few moments along the table. "So," he crossed his arms and inclined his head slightly, "how can I help you?"

"W-Well, I remembered you were looking for 'odd-job' work when you spoke to me and my friends earlier..."

"Yes?"

"Uh..." Muddy appeared in thought for a moment. "Chairs."

Miles allowed a few moments of silence to pass, expecting more. "Your chairs?"

Muddy looked at him somewhat eagerly. "Y-Yeah! Our chairs have been, uh... N-Not working properly..."

"Your chairs aren't working properly...?"

"Yeah, so maybe you could come over and... Fix them...?" Muddy tucked her fore-hooves between her hind legs much as a shy child would back home. Miles sighed with a slight chuckle.

He glanced over at the clock on the wall. The day was not too much longer for this world. "I might be able to find time, I suppose."

Muddy's features became hopeful as she raised her head somewhat. "Oh, thank you! What time will you be able to come?" Her eyes went wide for a moment. "I-If you don't mind finding time for us today, that is..."

Miles interlocked his fingers and rested his hands upon the table-top. "Hmm... Alright. I'm going to purchase some things in a moment, so I'll come over after that, okay?"

"Great! Thank you, Mister Miles..."

"Just Miles is fine, little pony." He then stood to his feet and ruffled the tiny mare's mane. "So, whereabouts do you live, then?"

"O-Oh, silly me! Eheh..." Muddy bashfully bumped her hoof into her head likely in an attempt to appear cute. "We live just down the end of this street going towards Twilight's school... Turn left at the end and we're three houses down on the right. We have a little cockerel on the side of our postbox, so you can't miss us..." Muddy seemingly realised she'd spoken a little too confidently when giving directions, and so lowered her head once more. "O-Of course, it's okay if you do... We'd just have to rearrange..."

Miles shook his head slightly and chuckled. "No worries, little pony. I'll see you soon." Miles then swiftly made his way out of Sugarcube Corner, leaving the chocolate mare to her own thoughts.

After a couple of minutes, she silently hoof-bumped herself as she hopped off her chair and cheerfully skipped out of the door to go home and deliver the good news.

She and the girls had better get ready...
> Marked
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miles ducked his head through the door to the supply shop and smiled at the familiar shopkeeper. The stallion immediately stood to attention as though he were a soldier performing a drill.

"Ah, hello again, sir... I wasn't expecting you back until later!"

Miles raised an eyebrow at him with a chuckle. "Yes, well, it turns out I work even faster than I give myself credit for."

"N-Not that it's a bad thing you're here early or anything, bu-"

"Of course, but I had some other business come up that I need to be attending to, so I came right away. I know I promised you a thorough payment, and here I have it as promised."

As Miles began to reach into his pocket with purposefully sluggish movement, the stallion tensed up and scrambled across the floor of his shop, watching Miles' hand with fear. "W-Wait! I'm sorry I didn't let you-"

"Hm?" Miles paused with a smirk. The stallion did not respond, instead merely quivering in a speechless stupor. Miles smiled and finally drew the bag of coins from his pocket. "So, how much do I owe you?"

The stallion appeared relieved, sighing and then standing shakily up on his hooves to approach the counter. "O-Oh, heh... That'll be twenty bits in total, sir."

"Bits...? Is that what this currency is called?"

The stallion chuckled. "Yeah, those there coins are bits."

Miles gathered up twenty bits from the small sack Mrs. Cake had given to him and handed them over to the store pony. "There you go. Thank you, Mr...?" Miles offered up a hand to the pony as he trailed off.

"O-Oh, uh, I'm Pointy! Heh..." Pointy appeared cautious as he closely watched Miles' fingers wrap firmly around his hoof, wincing upon contact.

"I'll bet you are..." Miles murmured in a deep rumble and with a dark laugh.

"Wh-What?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm Miles, and it was a pleasure doing business with you." Miles grabbed the supplies still sitting on the counter-top since their last encounter. "I have a feeling we'll be seeing each other somewhat often. Ciao." He ducked under the doorway once more and left Pointy to his own thoughts.

Pointy sighed to himself once the hulking human had departed. "Great..."





Muddy smiled to herself with anticipation as she patiently awaited the arrival of her new human friend. The girls were already upstairs preparing, and she'd been left alone to greet their visitor upon his arrival. 

Celestia's sun had mostly set, and the heavens had just begun to open. Light rain pitter-pattered down onto the cobblestone path outside; the residual puddles created only slightly glistened with the last few gracious rays of sun bequeathing their energy for the satisfaction of those so inclined to appreciate it.

Muddy sighed to herself in admiration of nature's beauty as her head lulled lazily onto her hoof in rest. All of her preparation was done. The chairs had been kicked and broken so as to give Miles something to do, yet not too much as to take up more of their time they'd rather spend with the alien in other ways. The house looked presentable, from the mounted cuckoo clock to the cross-hatched carpet; all was thoroughly dusted and cleaned. Not that this was any different from her usual standards, of course, but she did an extra check-over just to be sure.

Muddy heard her friends squabbling over something from upstairs, yet just rolled her eyes and hurried over to the kitchen to make sure she had her appliances ready to provide any kind of hospitality to Miles that he might need. As she turned the jug of her coffee grinder to positioned perfection, Muddy heard a loud knock on the door.

"O-Oh! Coming!" She dashed over to the door, noticing her friends had suddenly gone quiet upstairs. She opened the door to be greeted by the friendly, ever-smiling face of Miles looking down at her.

"Good evening, Ms. Muddy." He leaned down and ruffled her mane. "May I come in?"

"Of course! Welcome, Miles..." Muddy stepped to the side and held out a hoof, puffing up her chest in pride as she awaited his reaction to her picture-perfect home.

"Thank you." Miles stepped past her and briefly glanced around the room. The living area housed multiple couches with what looked like an archaic television set, yet was joined onto the throughway between the kitchen and the stairs leading to the upper floor. The kitchen area was open and also connected to the throughway, the stairs and the living space. No complete walls separated any of these four areas from each other; only waist-high counter-tops and over-embellished cup holders. "Nice place, I must say. There's no way you have a home like this all to yourself. Is your husband home?"

Muddy giggled "O-Oh, no. I'm single, and I share this home with my two best friends, whom I believe you've already met."

"Ah, yes, I did..." Miles scratched at his stubble as he made a point of looking for a place to set his tools down.

"You can put your stuff down on the tea-table over there, o-or anywhere you like, really..."

He placed his tools down on the nearest surface and cracked his knuckles. "So, would you like to point me in the direction of the malfunctioning chairs...?"

"J-Just over here..." Muddy trotted past Miles and into the kitchen before turning to face him. Miles followed.

"Alright, this should be an easy fix. Will only be a matter of minutes." He reached for his tools.

Muddy appeared slightly alarmed. "O-Oh! Well, for these, I guess..."

"For these...?"

"Y-Yeah... There's, uh... There's more upstairs. Mhm." Muddy looked hopefully towards Miles, praying her bluff had succeeded.

Miles cocked an eyebrow at her. "Okay, then... Well, I'd best get to work, now."

"O-Oh, is there anything I can get for you, like a cup of coffee, or...?"

"Coffee would be lovely, thank you."

Muddy scurried over to the counter, standing on her hind legs and working the coffee grinder. After a few moments, she placed the beans into the mixing machine and chanced a glance over her withers. 

It was only for a very small moment, but as she peeked over her shoulder she saw Miles stood, slightly hunched over with a hammer in hand and a dark expression on his face. She could have sworn he was staring directly at her.

With a chill, she chanced a double take.

He was not looking at her at first, as he was kneeling down and working on the first of the four chairs. But after a moment, he glanced up at her, noticing her disturbed expression and heavy breathing. He winked at her before swiftly returning to his work.

Muddy chalked up the aggressive, hammer-wielding Miles to being a figment of her paranoia and returned to preparing the coffee.

As the coffee continued to boil, Muddy's thoughts raced a mile a minute; how would Miles react to finding out she'd bluffed about the chairs upstairs? He hadn't seemed interested in her friends when they first met, so why would that have changed after the fact? If he rejected them, how would she deliver on her promise?

"Mud, could you pass me that small toolbox, please?" Miles pointed off to the counter without looking up from what he was doing. Muddy snapped back to reality and turned around once more to look for the box.

Mud? Had she heard him correctly? She grabbed the toolbox and trotted over to Miles. The machine continued to bubble, and her mind latched onto its escalating volume as it neared its completed heating. She froze in place with the toolbox held within her teeth next to Miles, unable to shake the uncomfortable feeling his speech had given her. The bubbling pressure on her eardrums caused her to draw breath as her mouth acted on impulse. "It's Muddy."

"Hm? What was that?" Miles slowly turned his gaze towards the usually demure mare and halted his work in fascination. He could see the ironclad scales of her protective armour once more shed and cascade down in a twinkling dance towards the floor.

"I said, it's Muddy."

"What's Muddy?" Miles appeared amused, folding his hands over his knee as he squatted. "The coffee?"

As Miles began to laugh, Muddy placed the toolbox down and began to walk back over to the coffee machine. "Heh, I h-hope not!" She switched off the machine and regained control of herself, hoping she could simply drop the issue.

"As do I, Mud. But that's not really an answer to my question." Miles purred with practiced grace as his guttural speech garnered a reaction.

Muddy ducked her head slightly as Miles bore witness to her shell hardening once more. "Y-Yeah, I'm sorry, but I forgot what I was even referring to, sorry..."

A sudden force gripped firmly onto her shoulder, and her entire frame seized up in terror. She heard a gentle breathing in her left ear, yet dared not to look back into the malignant maw now holding her hostage. A thousand spidery tendrils voraciously hooked their barbs into her flesh, attempting to drag her down into the floor and merge her being with the vapid vacuum of arrested existence. 

All sound in the room vanished as it became a secluded dimension of its own which housed only the two souls present. Anxious anticipation caused the muscles around Muddy's eyes to spasm slightly, forcefully squeezing the beginnings of tears from their ducts.

A breath rolled over her ear, its volume amplified by her mental state.

Muddy squealed with a small hop and collapsed. "M-Mistake!"

Miles knelt down and placed a hand on the mare's mane. "Are you alright!? What happened?" Alarm laced his voice as he began to stroke the mare's back gently.

"I-I made a... I made..."

"Oh, Muddy..." Miles shook his head with a sigh and lifted her chin to look directly into his inviting gaze. "I'm sure the coffee's fine, even if you did make a mistake with it."

Muddy looked up in confusion. "W-What? N-No, I made a... With..." She squinted in confusion. The diminutive mare slowed her breathing, steadily regaining her composure. "Oh, I'm s-sorry, Miles. Never mind..."

"Don't worry about it, Muddy. I shouldn't be much longer with these chairs, now." Miles patted Muddy reassuringly on the back and moved over to resume his work.

"Oh, the coffee! It'll be going cold!" Muddy scrambled back to her hooves and began pouring the coffee. One cup for Miles and one for herself. "Alright, here you go." Muddy held out the coffee to Miles with a shaky foreleg; he looked between the cup and the mare holding it a few times. He did not move to take it from her, and so her muscles began to complain after a few moments of reaching out to him. "Y-You don't want it now? I'm sorry it's not piping hot..."

"Oh, that can be excused. It's just that I do recall asking for two sugars." Miles smiled sweetly and inclined his head slightly at her. "Please."

"Oh, y-you did?" Muddy's brow furrowed. She then swiftly placed the cup down and reached into one of the ocean blue cupboards for a pot of sugar cubes. After plopping two cubes into Miles' cup and stirring, Muddy attempted to pass the drink to him again, this time with a steadier hoof.

Once again, Miles did not take it, instead thrusting the base of his palm into the leg of one of the chairs to test his fix. He nodded with satisfaction and stood to his feet, only now reaching out and taking the drink from Muddy. "Grazie, Muddy."

"Grat-see?" Muddy tilted her head to the side in confusion, causing her droopy, purple hair to trail slightly along the round of her face.

"It's Italian: a language from my home world." Miles noted with a sip of his coffee. "This coffee is lovely, thank you."

"Oh! You speak multiple languages?" Muddy appeared interested as she felt the rest of her nerves begin to settle at the sound of Miles' voice.

"Five to be exact, yes." He set his drink down as he began work on the next chair.

"Ooh, Match will be very happy to hear that..." Muddy snickered to herself.

"Your friend?" Miles did not look up from his work.

"Yeah, the one with the gorgeous red coat!" Muddy clopped her fore-hooves together excitedly and yet reservedly as she spoke highly of her friend.

"Oh, okay." Miles appeared disinterested, focusing on his work as he moved onto the third chair.

Had Muddy been Pinkie and thus not already donned naturally droopy hair, it would have literally deflated in dejection on behalf of her friend.

Suddenly, as though called upon by a higher power, the door at the top of the stairs blew open and someone could be heard clamouring down the steps leading to the lower floor of the house.

As Match sprinted round the corner, she ran her mouth with an impatient squeal as she began stamping her hooves. "Muddy, is he here yet?! I can't wait any longer!"

Muddy's pupils shrunk as she looked awkwardly between Match and Miles. Match and Miles stared at each other, with the former's mouth hanging open in embarrassment and the latter appearing mildly irritated. A good ten seconds of this passed as Muddy could no longer stand the tension.

Her voice, while perfectly smooth as ever, screeched like a fork on a plate as she attempted to slice through the excessively viscous atmosphere. "H-Hey, Match... In fact, our guest is already here! Heh..."

Another short silence. "S-So, Miles, this is my friend Match! I believe you two have already met..."

After yet another short silence, and as Match appeared to be attempting to melt into the floor, Miles stood to his feet and made his way over to her. 

Intimidation had not worked the last time they met. Perhaps this mare was too simple to pick up on passive aggression. "Bonjour, petit poney... Je m'appelle Miles." An enormous hand made its way down to Match, pulling her gently to her hooves before shaking her left fore-hoof equally so; he brought her hoof to his mouth and planted the smallest of kisses on the top of it.

Match's eyes began to glisten as her heart was viciously and yet oh-so-delightfully pierced with a frilly pink arrow. Miles held her awe-filled gaze for a few more moments before quietly slinking away, leaving Match feeling somewhat woozy.

Muddy glared at Match, and the moment she caught her eye, Match stood to attention and coughed into a hoof. "Ahem... Y-You speak Prench, Monsieur Miles?"

Miles was already back to his work as he now tinkered with the final chair. "Prench? You mean French?"

"Uh..." Match was lost for words as another awkward silence began draining Muddy's psyche.

"W-Well, how about the 'Triple M Crew' head right on upstairs once Miles finishes on that chair? I-If you're nearly finished with it, that is..."

"Aaand, done." Miles lifted the chair, as if on queue, and bashed his palm against it once again to check for weak spots. "Also, we're not a crew." Miles noticed Match flicking her head slightly with an irritated look on her face as she looked up the stairs, as if shooing someone away.

"Hmm..." Miles hummed as he rounded the table. He polished off the last of his coffee and set the cup down with a clink. He did not take his eyes off of Match as he stepped to the side and waited to follow the others upstairs. Match smiled uncomfortably at him.

Muddy made her way over to Match's side and glared up into the mare's face in silent communication. Match nodded with subtlety.

"H-Hey, Match... Did you know that Miles here can speak five different languages from his home world?" Muddy attempted to fill the space as the trio ascended the stairs.

"What?! Wow..." Match grinned to herself with a dreamy sigh.

"How many chairs did you say there were going to be again?"

Time almost seemed to freeze as Miles posed this basic question. However, Muddy blundered, and failed to stop her friend from opening her mouth before it was too late.

"Chairs? What chairs?" Match placed a hoof to her mouth in confusion as she noticed Muddy's panicked expression all too late.

Miles froze in place just before they reached the landing. Muddy could feel the air grow thin, with what little that remained seemingly swirling around the alien's form in discordant harmony with his flaring temper. Muddy began stammering.

"O-Oh, Match, silly f-filly... The chairs we called Miles over here to fix...! There were some more upstairs, remember?"

"Of course... I forgot... M-My bad..." Match ducked her head in remorse, not for fear of the giant whom now coincidentally had them cornered, but instead for fear of Muddy's currently disappointed and scolding glare.

Muddy couldn't help but slap a hoof to her face on account of her friend being such an airhead. An adorable, lovable airhead, but an airhead nonetheless. Muddy opened the door and lead the others through. Miles appeared reluctant, as he thudded through the door several seconds later.

Muddy hardened her shell once more and began lightly scraping her hoof on the ground as she spoke to Miles without looking up at him. "Say, Miles... Would you mind waiting in here for a moment while we go fetch our other friend? We won't be long, and I'm sure you'd get along..."

"I fail to see why there needs to be a gathering of persons just so I can fix a bleeding chair." These ponies were treating him like a fool. The little whelps disrespected him enough to think he would blindly buy into their terribly improvised lies.

"Ehehe... We'll be right back!" Muddy dashed off down the hall with Match in tow, leaving Miles alone in the middle of the hallway. These ponies were seemingly well off, if the house and its furnishings were anything to go by. Miles couldn't help but notice the various picture frames lining the walls of the hallway, most of which depicted the three mares smiling together in various scenarios.

The ponies were taking their sweet time, and so Miles took matters into his own hands and began looking through the surrounding rooms in search of the supposed chairs he had to fix. He had peeked inside two bland bedrooms and one sparkling clean bathroom before the trio of mares finally meandered down the hall towards him with sheepish looks on their faces.

"I've checked these rooms, and there are no broken chairs in sight." Miles raised an eyebrow as the mares looked between each other awkwardly. "Would any of you care to tell me what's going on here?" Miles began striding forwards, meeting the mares halfway. 

Miles stood immediately in front of them, a towering behemoth with a slightly sinister glow in his eyes. Nougat shrunk inside of herself as she peered nervously up at the human, while Match licked her lips with literal hearts in her eyes as she soaked in the human's domineering presence. Muddy, on the other hand, fought through her uneasiness and stood as tall as her tiny frame would allow, facing the human with confidence.

As Muddy straightened her neck and stared the human down, Miles turned his gaze to meet hers, with a look of wonder creasing his features. "W-Well... The chairs are back here, Miles, in this room at the end of the hall." Muddy motioned behind the trio with a hoof. "We were just making sure you'd have good working conditions before you got there..."

"And your friend?" Miles motioned towards Nougat.

"Oh, Miles, this is Nougat." Muddy looped a fore-hoof over her friend's shoulder. "Nougat, this is Miles!"

"Pleasure." Miles pushed through the ponies and made his way towards the room at the end of the hall without so much as a glance in Nougat's direction, determined to pocket his payment and be on his way as soon as possible.

"H-Hey! Don't ignore me!" Nougat's voice was whiny, and as Miles turned he noticed she'd lifted her chin and closed her eyes, looking away from him. Miles cracked his neck as he took a step back down the hallway towards them.

"Excuse me?"

"J-Just a second... I really gotta pee..." Muddy dashed off into the bathroom at the end of the hall at lightning speed.

"W-Wait... Muddy...?" Nougat's indignation fizzled out in tandem with her miniature brown friend's disappearance. "M-Match...?" Unfortunately for Nougat, her other friend was now laying prone and waggling her hind legs like an excited filly as she stared dreamily at the encroaching alien.

"Look at those muscles..." Match was lost in a world of her own. 

As Miles approached Nougat deliberately slowly, he watched her reaction very carefully. She shrunk further and further into herself, appearing as small as she possibly could.

Miles reached down towards the mare, attempting to grab her by the back of her neck much as he did with Pinkie Pie. "Little pony..."

Moments before contact was made, Muddy reappeared next to Nougat, panting almost as much as Match albeit for an entirely different reason. Muddy appeared apologetic at first... Until she saw the terrified expression on Nougat's face.

"Miles..." The human stopped dead with his arm outreached. Muddy's voice deepened and laced with venom in warning as she frowned in fury. "What are you doing...?" She scuffed her fore-hoof along the carpet as though preparing to charge.

Miles peered closely at her expression. He then shook his head in disbelief and began to chuckle. Nougat quivered while Muddy appeared perplexed. Her expression gradually softened.

"I was just taking a moment to introduce myself to your other friend here, actually." He wiped a finger across his eyelid as his laughter faded. "Apologies for laughing, but you just looked so cute stood there with your face all scrunched up like that!"

Muddy's jaw hung loose slightly, while Nougat ceased quivering and questioned her interaction with the alien. Had he simply been trying to fix his mistake of ignoring her? 

Match on the other hand appeared somewhat enraged, checking herself in a nearby mirror and muttering something about how she was clearly cuter than Muddy.

Eventually, Muddy sighed, pulling over Nougat to address the human. Nougat blushed and turned her head away once again, closing her eyes as her short, pink mane bounced slightly with the motion. "Now, Nougat here," Muddy placed her hoof on the side of her friend's head and forced her to face Miles with little difficulty, "would like to introduce herself properly..."

Nougat looked down at the floor with puffed cheeks.

"Nougat..." Muddy warned with a tilt of her head.

Nougat sighed. "My name is Nougat... Nice to meet you or whatever. I-It's not like I care or anything!" Once the deed was done, her head immediately flung to the side again as she refused to look directly at Miles. Muddy shook her head with a small laugh as she mouthed the word 'sorry' to Miles.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you too." Miles stood to his feet. "I'm Miles - a human from planet Earth. Earth might be in this Universe, or it might not. I don't really know or care." He turned and made his way towards the destination once again with a crack of his knuckles. "I'm sorry, but I really must be fixing these supposed chairs now and be on my way."

Muddy dashed in front of him, attempting to block the door. "Ah, yeah, the chai- oof-" Miles walked through her and into the room, tired of their antics. Nougat slowly crept down the hall, but noticed Match was still mushing her own face with her hooves in the mirror.

"Hey...! Psst!" Nougat hissed at her.

"What?!" Match hissed back in irritation.

Nougat signalled towards the room with her head, and Match's expression softened immediately as she attempted to regain her not-so-subtle seductive smoulder. Nougat rolled her eyes and trotted up to the now fallen Muddy, lifting her to her hooves. "Are you okay, Muddy?"

"Y-Yeah..." The trio froze once they noticed Miles standing by the master bed with a dead expression on his face, peering down at it.

After an agonising twenty seconds of silence, Miles reached out and dug his hands under the bottom edge of the bed with a snarl.

"W-Wait, Miles, w-we can explai-" Muddy had spoken too late, however, as Miles had already flung the unnecessarily enormous bed with all his might across the room. Time appeared to slow to a crawl as the bed impacted the bookshelf against the wall and brought both down in an almighty crash on the floor. The various sexual instruments that had been covering the bed careened all around the room as they bounced comically. A small amount of dust from the plethora of books that had been lining the shelves of the bookshelf slowly settled over the residual chaos.

Miles stormed over to the trio and grabbed Muddy by her mane; he lifted her to his eye-line with a glare plucked directly from the depths of Tartarus itself. "Look at this mess! I'll be here for hours fixing this!"

Muddy blabbered in confusion and pain as the enormous human's spittle rained over her coat. "W-Wait, y-you'll fix this...? B-But you just made this mess yourself..."

Miles began breathing rapidly as he put the tiny pony down and obsessively smoothed out his hair, calming himself down. "Muddy... You lied to me about the chairs."

Muddy's ears drooped down in shame. "I-I know..."

"You lured me here to play along with your sick kinks."

"I'm sorry..." All three of the mares now sat, their expressions a mix of regret, disappointment and shame.

"You angered me and caused me to mess up a perfectly clean and tidy room..." Miles turned with a sigh and put his hands to his hips as he lowered his head in thought. "Tomorrow."

"Huh?" Muddy raised an eyebrow.

"I'll fix this tomorrow. All of it."

"R-Reall-"

"Not because you deserve it, but because it's what's right for the world." Miles pointed a finger at her.

"Uh..." The three mares looked at each other in confusion before speaking in unison. "Thanks...?"

"Don't thank me. Just give me my payment for the chairs downstairs and I'll come by tomorrow." Without another word, the human looked between the three mares, seemingly deep in thought. He snapped his fingers and then pushed past them. The girls could hear him thudding back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Muddy, Match and Nougat sat in silence for a minute or so, not uttering so much as a word as they stared at the astounding amount of damage the alien had caused to their master bedroom in one movement.

Eventually, Match spoke up.

"I wish he'd sling me around like that..."

Muddy blew an involuntary raspberry as she burst out laughing. 

Nougat rolled her eyes and punched Match on the shoulder. The guy's kind of a hothead..."

Match lunged at Nougat and began rolling around with her. "You're half right...!" All three mares now laughed their hearts out.

Muddy pulled her friends' faces upwards to look at her as she lay on top of them with a warm smile. "We'll get him for you, Match..." She wrapped her wings around their torsos as the trio laid still and motionless. "I promise."
> Scattered Fragments
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Princess Celestia lay curled upon her large bean bag chair within her chambers, mulling over paperwork for the upcoming transaction Canterlot was to make with the griffon empire over the coming weeks. The night was young, and she had plenty of work left to do. 

She had left the doors to her balcony slightly ajar, allowing a gentle breeze from the raging storm outside to flow through the room, which caused the silken curtains of her four-poster bed to gently sway. Sadly, neither the pattering of rain outside nor the fireplace and cup of hot cocoa in her magical grasp did much to quell her mounting frustration.

The papers hovered in magical suspension before her face. Every few seconds she would glance across the room, fiddle with her hooves and shift her regal frame to imprint herself within the surface of the bean bag chair as much as she could. Each time she finally became comfortable, her eyes would wander once more and her discomfort resurface, leading to another shift. Her face scrunched up in frustration as she yet again glanced at the food cart by her dresser, placing her cup on the carpet beside her.

Another shuffle.

Celestia sighed and pressed the papers to her face, huffing in annoyance and shuffling once again. She then let out an uncharacteristically girly squeak as she lost her balance and fell from the bean bag, faceplanting the floor. 

With a quick flash of her horn, Celestia stood in front of the bean bag, legs slightly splayed wide and still as a statue as her eyes darted around the room with a flush in her cheeks. Once she had verified she was indeed alone, her embarrassment faded and she faced the food cart once more. 

Her face brimmed with newfound determination, eyes glistening in her sister's moonlight. She made her way over to the cart with a steady pattering of her "Sunnyside-up" slippers. With a slipper-clad hoof, she began removing the foil covering a plate resting upon the oaken, patterned surface of the cart. She bit her bottom lip as she glanced around the room a few more times, lest her sister drop in uninvited and catch her in the act. Eventually, the foil fell free from her prize and the usually reserved princess began to drool in anticipation.

The most beautiful, delectable-looking sponge cake she had ever seen in all her years lay before her upon pearlescent dining ware. Her ever-teasing royal chefs had prepared this cake for the visiting griffon ambassador and his entourage the following day, having filled and decorated it with thick, ruffled cream, dripping strawberry jam and an embossed layer of icing in the pattern of her very own cutie mark on top. 

The cake had been sealed within an enormous safe down in the pantry of the kitchen, with an attached note addressed to Celestia herself. Since she could smell cake from up to six miles away and thus had promptly demolished the safe and escaped to her chambers with the cake in tow, she hadn't noticed much of what the note had said. All she'd read was 'Celestia, don't you bucking da-' before she'd seen enough of her head chef's rambling in written form. They'd known each other all his seventy-eight years of living; he surely wouldn't mind if she snuck a piece of it early...

"That's right..." she whispered to herself, wiping a drizzle of saliva from her muzzle, "I'll have just a small piece tonight and return it to the kitchen by morning..." Once the princess of the Sun had raised her cake knife high into the air, she brought it down with all the fervour of a filly tearing into her gifts on Hearths Warming-

Only to whine a little in dismay as the knife had slipped from her magical grasp, now suspended above her head by an unknown force. Celestia peered up at the knife with watery eyes and a trembling lip. She attempted to grasp the knife once more, only for her golden aura to dissipate as she attempted to touch it.

Celestia sniffled. "Even the cutlery wishes to keep me from life's one true joy..." She began grunting with frustration as she attempted to jump up and grab the knife with her hooves, only for it to move just slightly out of her reach each time. Her slippers had now been cast randomly around the room with her flailing. A whimsical, playful cackling began from over Celestia's shoulder as another presence made itself known.

"Don't you think the royal flanks have had enough cakes for the next few moons already, my dear princess?" Celestia squealed with surprise, jumping a few feet into the air. She swivelled around and regarded none other than the Lord of Chaos himself. He flung the knife over to her bed and began floating above the food cart with a teasing grin.

"Discord?! Don't frighten me like that..." She lifted a hind leg and peered back over her withers. "And my flanks aren't that big... Right?" 

Discord chuckled at her antics as he picked up the entire cake from the food cart, shoving it into his mouth whole and swallowing it instantly.

Celestia's mouth hung open in disbelief. "Th-That was mine! Well, I never..." She stomped a hoof and turned away from the draconequus with a pout, doing her best to resume her princess-like demeanour once she had finished mumbling to herself.

Discord licked his talons with exaggeration. "Mmf! That cake was delicious! I'd quite like to try it a second time..." He reached into his torso and pulled out the cake whole, eliciting a mixed reaction from Celestia somewhere between hopefulness and disgust. Her restrained smile dropped, however, as Discord once again swallowed the cake whole, chewing it thoroughly this time.

"Discord..."

"My goodness, Celestia, you have to try some!" He pulled the cake from his mouth, fully intact, before swallowing it yet again. He repeated this six more times before Celestia dove at him in an attempt to snatch it from his grasp. Discord appeared sitting on her beanbag with the cake perched upon his talons as Celestia crashed head-first into the food cart. "Ah-ah-ah, no no no, Celestia. Snatchy ponies get no treats."

Celestia struggled to her hooves and slumped her head in disdain. After a few moments, her head raised and her expression had become kind. "I sincerely appreciate the comic relief, Discord. Legal documents are bland even after a thousand years of experience with them..."

Discord smiled. "I am being serious, though, Celestia. Perhaps you should really consider cutting down on the cakes-"

Celestia huffed, interrupting him. "-But I'm not f-"

"-I'm not saying you're fat, Celestia... You just have to watch your blood sugar... Or something. I don't know." He tossed the cake to her as she snatched it from the air like a bachelorette at a wedding. Celestia placed the cake once more upon her fine dining ware to be returned to the kitchen later; or at least, that's what she told herself.

"I'll keep that in mind, Discord." Celestia giggled slightly, her regal demeanour then returning as she sat on her haunches across from him. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"It's about the ape..." Discord snapped the beanbag to life and it began panting like a dog. It leapt across the room and took refuge by the fire. "I'm going to get straight to the point - I have a reading session with Fluttershy that I'm late for." He stuck a talon in his mouth and blew on it, causing his tail to inflate like a balloon, which he then reclined on in place of the now canine bean bag. Celestia merely blinked and looked at him expectantly. "I want to know what he's capable of."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean that I want to know just how much of a threat the ape poses to our friends and the residents of Ponyville." He folds his arms. "We won't always be there to protect them at every waking moment."

Celestia sighed with a gentle smile, shaking her head slightly. "Discord, he's not an ape. I believe he's a 'human'. I'll admit he seemed potentially dangerous at first, but according to my reports from Twilight, he seems to be adjusting just fine."

Discord ground his teeth. "You really trust Twilight's word on this over mine? That mare has the emotional intelligence of a peanut!" Celestia now stood and made her way to Discord's side, resting a hoof upon his paw.

"Oh, Discord... Ever since I made the decision to see you reformed, with every passing day I have been ever less regretful in that decision. It makes me very happy to see now that you've come to care for my subjects as I have..."

"I can sense a but coming... There's always a but coming with you - a big one." Discord looked away from the princess with a pout.

Celestia screwed up her face as she glanced back at her flanks for a moment once more. "B-But there's a point at which you may worry too much." Celestia sighed. "That's all."

Discord stuck the tip of his tail in his mouth and sucked all the air from it, causing it to rapidly deflate. He pulled his paw from under Celestia's hoof and strolled over to the balcony, through the doors. Celestia joined him under the dim light of the moon soon after, enjoying the cool feeling of rain washing over her pristine coat. Discord glanced down at her.

"I don't trust him, Celestia. Not even the slightest bit. You should see the way he treats the pony down at Ponyville's hardware store." Discord peered over the edge of the balcony with a forlorn expression. "He reminds me of what I once was-" Celestia looked up at him with sympathy as she waited for him to continue. "-A bully..."

"Discord, while he may not be the most pleasant creature in Equestria, he has not brought harm upon any creature within this land." Celestia looked back down at her hooves. "We cannot act against him based upon prejudice alone. I will not allow myself to partake in such hypocrisy."

"Celestia, I don't wish to harm the ape." Discord's tone and speech patterns held not one hint of his usual playfulness. "I only wish to test him for my own peace of mind."

"Discord, Twilight has assured me that he is kind and not at all dangerous-"

"-that silly little filly is infatuated with the creature!" Discord snapped, snarling at Celestia with his fangs bared. "Of course she would think that!" The raging storm picked up pace as Celestia shivered from the violent rain. Discord noticed her shivering and his expression softened - the storm along with it. "I'm sorry, Celestia... I didn't mean to frighten you..."

"It's alright, Discord, you didn't frighten me. I'm merely somewhat cold, is all..." Celestia walked back into her room, dripping from head to hoof. "I understand what you're saying. In her messages she does seem somewhat... Excitable about the human." She summoned up a towel and began drying herself. "Just remember that he is an alien. He may well be clinging to Twilight as an anchor of sorts, pushing away other ponies as elements of a world that is frightening and unfamiliar to him."

Discord followed in behind the princess, snapping the bean bag dog away and back into its original position and form. As Celestia silently thanked him and curled up upon it once more, he replied. "I can tell that you harbour some mistrust towards him as I do..." He appeared by the fireplace, staring into its crackling depths. "The test I have planned will not tell us of his true nature, but it will help me to inform Twilight and the rest of our friends of how best to prepare for whatever that nature may be."

Celestia suppressed a smile at his words. He truly had come a long way to subconsciously refer to the elements as 'our' friends. "I truly appreciate you approaching me about this first, when you're more than capable of acting outside my awareness." She turned to face him, meeting his gaze as he did the same. "I don't want you to hurt the human. But, I cannot stop you from assessing the level of threat he poses to my dear subjects... Nor would it be right for me to do so." 

She picked up her now lukewarm cocoa in her golden aura and took a dainty sip. "Now, I simply must return to these papers... The griffon ambassador will want every painstaking detail of our agreement relayed in full..."

Discord noticed her saddened expression and figured it was time he took his leave. Like the flip of a switch, his grin returned as he wrapped himself around Celestia like a snake. The princess yelped in surprise, dropping her cocoa. "Oh, alright. Don't have too much fun without me." He glanced over at the cake now resting upon the food cart. "You might want to wash that..." Celestia scowled in disgust. "Just kidding! Or am I...? Tata!" The mad god booped Celestia on the nose before disappearing in a brief flash of light. Celestia looked down and noticed her cocoa sitting unharmed upon the carpet, now steaming hot once more. She smiled.





"Miles...? Miles...?" Miles opened his eyes, blinking several times as the posh, gentle voice eased him into consciousness. "Rise and shine, my little light." Miles looked up into the gently smiling face above him. Upon glancing around the room, Miles realised he had been sleeping in his bedroom. From the small lamp resting upon the large dresser to the pristine rug and polished surfaces, this room was unmistakably his own.

"Katherine!" The lady's face dropped into a grimace.

"Yes, father?" Katherine replied with some agitation. A slow, loud thudding sound approached from down the hall outside Miles' bedroom door. After a few seconds, a huge, towering man appeared in the doorway. The man was elderly and clearly struggled to walk, but Miles knew all too well the power he still held within his tired frame.

"You know I 'ate it when you call me that, Katherine." The man dipped his head as he entered Miles' bedroom, approaching Katherine across the creaky floorboards. "That bastard son 'a yours 'as been eatin' my jerky again... two pieces are missin' from the packet..." The man turned to face Miles, pulling a packet of beef jerky from his shirt pocket. "Want some more, boy?" The man pushed a piece of the jerky towards Miles' lips. "Come on, lad. You may be big, but yer still a growin' boy. Sweet sixteen an' all that... Eat up!"

The young Miles, intimidated by the larger man, parted his lips and bit off a portion of the beef jerky. Miles heard nothing but the sounds of himself chewing in the otherwise silent room. Katherine scowled at the man, while the man smirked at Miles and laughed. "How was it, boy?"

Miles swallowed, coughing very slightly from gravity working against the action. "It's very nice, Grandfather."

Miles' grandfather smiled and gripped his bed by either side. After a couple of seconds, his grandfather lifted the bed with Miles still atop it and launched it towards the doorway. The bed would not fit through into the hall, and so Miles' head smashed into the door frame with a loud crack. He coughed up a little blood and began muttering. "M-M-Mother..." Miles began rapidly snorting air through his nose as his body struggled for air following concussion.

Miles' mother began swatting at the hulking man as he chuckled at Miles' display. "How dare you! How fucking dare you!" She attempted to push him, yet merely bounced off his chest and stumbled backwards, causing his laughter to increase.

"You are a treasure, Katherine." He yanked the bed out of his way and stepped over Miles, who was now lying unconscious. "I'll be waitin' through in the lounge. That boy better bring me a fresh packet 'a jerky or he'll be out on 'is arse."

Miles' vision began to fade as the blurred image of his mother knelt by his side and cradled his head, reflexively snapping the fingers of her left hand as she attempted to soothe him. His vision faded to black.

He now found himself standing in the kitchen of his workshop. He was older now, and much larger, too. Miles thought little of the transition; it felt natural to him. To his left, in the front of the workshop, his diminutive mother knelt scraping some oak with a wood planer. To his right, his grandfather sat at the kitchen table upon his wheelchair watching the wall-mounted television. He appeared considerably more frail than he had before, coughing once in a while after dragging his cigarette. Each time his coughing escalated, he would take a sip from his glass of water. Miles noted with disgust the brown, murky mucus he left on the edge of the glass after every sip.

"Boy." A hoarse voice called. Miles turned. "Be a good lad an' bring yer grandpappy some fresh water." The withered husk held out its glass to Miles, whom grasped it and rinsed it through under the tap. Upon filling the glass with fresh water, Miles wordlessly set it down in front of his grandfather. The old man offered no thanks as he continued to watch the tiny television with mild interest. "You know, boy - we really should be investin' in a better tv."

Miles did not turn his head as he addressed his grandfather. "Money is extremely tight, grandfather. Mother and I are doing all we can to remain in business." He now turned to face the old man. "Perhaps you should consider cheaper cigarettes and less sirloin steaks." His grandfather scoffed.

"Tight, my arse. Tell me yer not hangin' around in the pub and drinkin' yerself silly every weekend! An' all them gym memberships, too! You've no right to talk, boy."

"I drink neither in great quantities nor often, grandfather. You're ploughing through two packs of cigarettes per day." Miles ground his teeth. "How about you use some of those savings of yours for a new television if you want one badly enough?" He took a step closer. "Or better yet, how about you use them to pay for mother's treatment?"

"That's none 'a yer business, boy... Those savings belong to me an' yer grandma!"

"Grandmother is dead, grandfather." The texture of his surroundings began to lose detail, becoming smooth and textureless over time. Miles thought nothing of it.

"I'm well aware 'a that, you little fucker!" His grandfather's outburst drove him into a fit of spluttering, as he shakily gulped down the contents of the glass.

Miles took another step closer, fists clenched in fury. The soft sounds of his mother's fingers snapping and her angelic voice caused him to turn. "Miles, my little light..." His anger began to subside as quickly as it came. "Could you come and help me finish this desk? I feel as though this one will be one of our finest creations yet..." She glanced at the withered old man for a moment as she placed a hand upon Miles' back.

Miles followed his mother across the workshop where a tiny little oaken desk sat, unpolished. She had smoothed out the surface and indicated some minute, swirling details since he had last seen it. His mother's creativity and perfectionism left him ever awe inspired. "You know as well as I do that there is no meaning to life other than improvement and progress, my little light..." His mother's gentle gaze met his own. "Promise me that... When I'm gone..." She looked down at her palms with a sad, yet indignant glint in her eyes. "You'll do everything in your power to be greater than those around you."

"Mother, I-"

"-Let me finish... Back in my hometown down south, before I gave birth to you and moved up here to live with your grandfather, everyone appeared so quaint and satisfied... They would perform their mundane daily duties and return home only to repeat the cycle the next day." She cupped Miles' cheek with her palm. "None of them knew how to defend themselves. None of them strove for anything better. Very few strove to create - the ultimate form of control over matters of the universe itself..." She brought her other palm to cup his face, bringing their foreheads together. "Most waste what life is given to them, Miles... Some even spend their time leeching off of others and refuse to make their own way..." She pulled her head back and smiled at him. "I want more for you than this, my little light. You are everything to me." Her voice hitched somewhat as she spoke, holding back tears.

"I don't understand, mother... Why do you choose to tell me this now?" His mother's speech now muffled behind static as the television blared white noise across the household. Neither his mother nor his grandfather seemed to take notice. 

"Whydd...yulte di, Mil...?"

"What...?" The static stopped as the kitchen, the workshop and his mother suspended in motion. "Mother, what's wrong?" His grandfather now stood at the junction between the kitchen and the workshop, swaying slightly with a lifeless grin plastered across his face. Miles turned back to face his mother only to find her hairless and breathing with great difficulty. He gasped and scooped his mother into his arms. His grandfather exhaled with exaggeration, a rancid black smoke escaping his lungs and swamping the workshop in its smoggy depths.

Miles desperately looked down into his mother's quivering eyes as her skin began to dry and tear, revealing her bare skull. Her eyes shrivelled up and dropped through their sockets; her limbs grew skeletal and fell to sand between his fingers. "N-No! NO!" Miles roared with defiance. "I can help you, mother! I'll fix this - I'll fix you!" He pulled his mother close to his chest as he felt his grandfather now breathing the toxic smog over his shoulder. "I promise... I'll..." Miles' breathing became laboured as he closed his eyes and sheltered what was left of his mother with his body as much as he was able. He screamed as he reached an arm over his shoulder, grabbing at his grandfather's shirt...

"ENOUGH!" 

Suddenly, an indescribably loud voice pierced through the thick smog, accompanied by a blindingly bright light. Miles shielded his eyes until it faded, only to find himself now sitting within an endless white void. In front of him was none other than the deep blue pony he'd seen soon after his arrival in Equestria.

"Human. We are sorry these nightmares trouble you."

Miles sighed to himself upon the revelation that it had been a dream, rapidly calming his breathing. He stood and performed his regular routine, smoothing out his hair and straightening his cuffs. His confident gaze returned as he stepped towards the alicorn and knelt before her. She appeared confused as he took her hoof in his hand and planted a kiss upon its tip. Princess Luna jumped back as her wings popped out in surprise. "Thank you, Princess Luna. I appreciate your help in ending my torment." He stood back up to his full height, now dwarfing the mare once more. "Although: how can I know that I'm not still dreaming, hm?"

Luna recovered and coughed into a hoof. "Ahem... Thou art - we - I mean, you are still dreaming, Miles... However, this dream is considerably more... Lucid."

"So, am I currently speaking to the real Princess Luna?" Miles shook his head. "Unbelievable. Your world never ceases to amaze me, little pony."

Luna appeared somewhat irritated. "You are indeed. The realm you now inhabit is a shared space within your own conscious mind that I am using to speak with you." Miles now nodded sarcastically. Princess Luna turned tail with a huff and began to walk away. "You will awaken soon, Miles. I do hope you're adjusting well to our world... For what it's worth - I know how you feel to be lost in a world that's strange and unfamiliar to you."

"Thank you again, Princess Luna."

"Of course, Mil-" Princess Luna crouched down to a squat, looking around with alarm as the white void began to swirl and grow purple. She spoke rapidly. "Human, I am losing control over this dream! I know not what is happeni-"

Luna suddenly vanished before his eyes, immediately replaced with a rather stern looking draconequus. After several seconds of silence, the draconequus spoke.

"Miles."

"Discord." Miles folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "This might just be the longest dream I've ever experienced. I'm so very glad you decided to drop by and offer greetings."

"I didn't come to offer my greetings, ape. I hope you understand, but some precautions must be taken to ensure the safety of my friends." Discord stepped up to Miles and peered down at him with a slight scowl. "Have fun."

"What?" Miles frowned before Discord shoved a talon into his chest, causing him to fall through the infinite purple void for several minutes. 

An open, brown field of dirt approached from below him as he suddenly ground to a halt mere inches from the field. Miles was unceremoniously dumped into the dirt as he quickly stood to his feet and began dusting off his shirt feverishly.

A grey pegasus stallion stood before him, its eyes empty husks of white light. Miles stopped and regarded the stallion with curiosity. "Are you alright, good sir? I don't know what's going on here, but I'd really appreciate if-"

The stallion suddenly pulled a spear from under its wing and pointed it up at him, much like an automaton. Miles appeared surprised but did not take a step back. His face twisted into a grin as he dusted off his pants in anticipation.

"Alright. Let's go, then."
> Hack and Snap
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pegasus remained steadfast in the face of Miles' challenge, seemingly unable to hear him. Its grip on the spear remained unwavering as Miles lowered his face toward its sharpened tip.

"Go ahead. Show me what you can do with that little stick." Miles' expression was calm, his eyes half-lidded and his smile subtle and slightly lopsided. After several more seconds of silence and not even the slightest movement from the stallion, Miles slowly reached out a finger towards the tip of the spear. Still, the stallion did not respond, rooted in place like a long-forgotten monument.

Miles flicked the tip of the spear with a snigger.

As though a switch were flicked, the dull stallion thrust the spear into Miles' face with blinding speed. He just barely managed to pull his head to the side in time, the weapon slicing across his cheek and immediately drawing blood. Miles pulled back upright and touched a hand to his face. Upon looking down at his blood-soaked fingers he began to chuckle, his eyes lighting up with a childlike glee.

The stallion cleanly swivelled its spear across its withers using its wings before swiftly thrusting it towards Miles' stomach. The human grabbed the shaft of the spear without so much as moving the rest of his body an inch. He yanked the spear past his waist, pulling the stallion along with it. He then seized the stallion by the throat as it was yanked towards him.

The stallion began struggling in Miles' grip, kicking at his stomach in an attempt to continue existing. Miles was now laughing with exuberance, the thudding sensation the kicking sent through his belly exacerbating his high. "A valiant effort, little horse!" The stallion's kicking began to weaken as it could no longer draw breath around Miles' hold, which dug deep into its neck and caused throbbing veins to swell beneath its hide. 

"This may be a dream, but I won't let that lessen the satisfaction of watching that little light leave your eyes..." Miles hissed as he began breathing feverishly; his arms quaked with ecstasy. "You clearly do not deserve it..." Grinning, he then lifted the stallion several feet into the air, still holding it by its oxygen passage, before thrusting it down into the dirt with an almighty slam.

Miles felt the stallion's windpipe cave and tear between his fingers as its neck splintered and snapped upon impact. A brown, billowing cloud of dust whipped up around the two as the stallion's light briefly flickered and then died. Miles rose back to a standing position, breathing hard, yet experiencing no exhaustion. "I must remember to thank Discord when I awaken - I assume this playground is his handiwork." He chuckled.

A fizzling sound resounded from over his shoulder. Upon turning, Miles found a group of five ponies, near identical to the one he had just snuffed out, charging him with various forms of weaponry. Their expressions were lifeless and they made no vocalisations of any kind, yet their movements were determined and lethal in intent. 

Miles widened his stance and crouched down slightly, holding his vices out to his sides. He charged at the group and stepped to his left moments before being skewered on the end of their weaponry. He grabbed the left-most pony with his right arm and threw it into the ground. The other four split up and circled him. There were two pegasi, two earth ponies and one unicorn.

The pegasus he had just thrown had dropped its weapon, yet swiftly scrambled to pick it up and climb back to its hooves. One of the earth ponies charged Miles with a sword, slicing at his calf. Miles hissed in pain as he grabbed the pony by its mane. The other pegasus circled him from the air and dove in to strike - Miles slung the earth pony in his grasp at the pegasus, causing its spear to slide between the ribs of the earth pony with a squelching crunch; it made a deep gargling sound before quickly going limp. 

The fresh meat sack knocked the pegasus from the air, the two crashing to the ground in a heap. The unicorn immediately freed the pegasus from beneath the earth pony corpse with its magic. Miles adjusted one of his cuffs. "You little bastards are tougher than you look - I'll give you that."

Miles began to feel weightless. As he looked around him, he noticed the ground grow distant as he was hoisted into the air. He was now only able to helplessly flail his limbs as the unicorn held him in place; however, it appeared the unicorn could do little else other than hold him there as its face contorted in strain.

Miles growled in frustration as the other three drones charged him with their weapons in an attempt to brutalise him into a fleshy cactus. Miles quickly dug his hand into his pocket - nothing. 

He instead deftly grasped the earth pony's spear once it reached him, stopping the pony in its tracks. His breath hitched as he felt a sword pierce the muscle of his shoulder, its parting blade tearing the sinew of his arm with a searing burn. The pegasus' spear sank into his stomach, causing him to splutter a sliver of dark, thick blood from his gullet.

Miles' grip on the earth pony's spear did not waver. He yanked it from the pony's grasp and violently thrust it into the spear wielding pegasus' eye. The shell's eyelids reflexively attempted to scrunch shut and protect the glowing eye, only to instead quiver and bleed against the sharp, cold steel of the spear. The pegasus dropped to the ground and began to violently shake as it entered its death throes.

The remaining Earth pony began to withdraw its blade as the now spear-less pegasus scrambled to retrieve a weapon from its fallen comrades. Miles gripped the escaping sword with his hand, ignoring the pain as its blade sliced through the thick flesh of his hand. This slowed the earth pony long enough for him to look to the unicorn and take aim with his spear. After a fraction of a second, he let it soar with all his strength.

Time seemed to slow as the unicorn, deep in concentration from holding the heavy human in its magical grasp, made no attempt to dodge the incoming freight train.

The spear found its mark, slicing all the way through the stallion's neck and sticking half a dozen inches out the exit wound. Its razor-sharp tip steadily dripped blood onto the dirt. The stallion gurgled slightly as it fell backwards. It was left with its back arched unnaturally once the tip of the spear sank into the ground, suspending the pony's head above the dirt.

Miles dropped to the earth with a loud thud. The two remaining ponies left him no time to recover as they now piled on top of him, attempting to jab their filthy weapons into his neck.

With adrenaline pumping unlike he had ever experienced before, all semblance of pain departed Miles' body as he kicked the earth pony away, the miniature equine soaring twelve feet before scraping to a halt in a tumble of limbs and rocky dirt. Miles then swung his fist into the muzzle of the pegasus, knocking it onto its side in a daze.

The grinning human quickly climbed to his feet and began stomping the pegasus into the dust, making sure to force his weight onto its chest until he felt its ribs crack and give way. The stallion made a sharp intake of breath as one of its ribs punctured its lung. All of its limbs shot out straight as though electrocuted and crimson pooled beneath its maw. Miles turned to the remaining Earth pony as the pegasus was left to choke on its own blood and mucus.

Walking was slightly difficult, yet Miles had not felt so alive in quite some time. These little ponies had given him a much better fight than the fat drunkard and his cronies some days ago. For whatever reason, Miles couldn't quite place his name... Rotating his arm a few times and being pleased to still find it somewhat functional, he approached the final survivor of the group.

The earth pony, sword gripped between its teeth, charged Miles once more in an attempt to widen the gash in the human's stomach. Miles chuckled and flung his right leg at the pony's head. With a clonk, the pony careened off to the left and its weapon slid several metres out of reach.

The stallion shakily attempted to climb to its hooves as Miles calmly sauntered over. Just as the stallion was about to make it upright, Miles delivered another solid kick, this time to its stomach. It jolted slightly into the air before crashing down into the dirt once more. 

Miles laughed. "You know, as much as appearing in this prissy little equine land has been a pain in my backside, I think I can come to appreciate the little things like this..." Miles kicked the pony again. It clutched at its stomach and curled into a ball in agony.

"Hmm..." Miles looked over at the five corpses sprawled across the dirt before making his way over to the unicorn. He roughly slid the spear from its throat with a wet schlick and dragged the cadaver over to the still cowering earth pony. He laughed and patted it on the head. "Well, it's been fun, but I'll be snuffing out your light now. Goodbye."

The earth pony squirmed as its muzzle was forced open. It then made a feverish snorting sound as the horn of its fallen comrade was thrust through the roof of its mouth and into its brain in one swift motion. Its eyes rolled into the back of its head and its broad tongue flopped uselessly over its teeth.

Miles stood up and took a deep breath, ignoring the protest of his stomach as he did so. As he closed his eyes, he felt raw satisfaction wash through his aching muscles and seep into his gaping wounds as though dunking his head in a barrel of water after crossing the desert. He chuckled softly.

"When in the Hell am I going to wake up...?"





Discord observed the scene below him with keen interest. The human had just flicked the tip of his phantom's spear and was now choking the 'life' out of it. There was a gentle fizzle by his side as Princess Luna popped into the dream once again.

"Discord! The realm of dreams is our domain!" She pointed a hoof up at his face. Discord barely acknowledged her as he continued to observe Miles. "We will not have thee simply snap thine appendages and take hold of our realm!"

The draconequus finally regarded Luna with a tired stare. After a few moments, he perked up as his eyes widened in surprise. "Oh! I do apologise, dear Luna. I had to have a word with Miles over here before he woke up, you see. I am truly sorry about throwing you out like that." Discord proclaimed with a dribble too much sarcasm for the princess of the night's liking.

Luna sighed and took a few deep breaths. "Please, do not do that again, Discord. We cannot have you interfering with the dreams of our subjects..." They both turned to observe the scene below them. "What is going on here, spirit? The human was meant to awaken upon the end of my conversation with him."

Discord huffed. "Oh, Luna, must you really call me that'?"

"We do not see the issue." Luna swiftly muttered as she lifted her muzzle and sat on her haunches with a near-silent hmph.

Discord sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine... Whatever." He gestured to Miles with his paw. "I'm judging Miles' combat ability at the moment. The realm of dreams just happens to be the perfect place for it. Sorry."

Luna gasped. "You cannot do such a thing, Discord. It would be of poor decorum!" Luna hastily pressed a silver-clad hoof to Discord's side. He moved slightly away from her touch.

"What in Equestria is that supposed to mean? I just want to see how dangerous he'll be when left with your 'subjects' unsupervised..." He rested his claw across his brow. "I'm sorry, Luna, but for now I'll have to remove your-"

Luna cut him off when Miles slammed the pony into the dirt. "Discord - stop this at once! Let the human awaken!" Luna stepped towards Discord.

Discord did not respond as he snapped his talons.

Several more phantom ponies appeared behind Miles and began charging him. Discord regarded Luna calmly. "Luna, these are merely puppets - they feel nothing."

Luna growled. "We were not referring to the ponies, spirit! We saw quite clearly that thy puppet attacked the human first!"

Discord held up a paw in response to her archaisms. "Hush, Luna, you're droning in ye-olde ponish again..."

"The human still feels pain in the dream world, Discord. We know thou art aware of this..." Luna began to charge her horn, facing the Lord of Chaos as though she could extinguish a forest file with a thimble.

With a quick snap, her horn was gone. The princess began sputtering in protest.

As Miles was sliced by the ponies, Luna became enraged. "Thou art harming the human, Discord! Such barbarianism is unbecoming of thee!"

Discord snapped his head around to face her with a snarl. "One more word and I'll remove you from this dream! I want you here to vouch for my findings. Don't make me change my mind..."

Luna dipped her head, ground her teeth and closed her eyes. However, her ears peaked as she heard an unexpected sound from below. The human was laughing. Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"What in my sister's name...?" Luna stood to attention and peered down at the human, cringing slightly as the final pony was brutally slain. She was speechless.

Discord shook his head. "I knew it."

The two sat in silence for several moments. Eventually, Discord spoke up, his voice a null void. "Well, I suppose I'd better wake him up now."

Another snap.

All of the corpses and weapons disappeared, instead replaced by around twenty earth ponies that appeared before Miles, none of which were armed this time. Miles appeared ecstatic as he now found his hammer in hand. Luna gawked as they swarmed the human.

For several minutes he fought, bludgeoning the ponies into submission with his hammer and limbs. Luna and Discord watched in silence, the princess of the night making no move to stop the senseless violence this time; she instead perched upon her royal rump in disgusted resignation.

Discord growled in frustration while creating ever more puppets to swamp Miles in an unstoppable tsunami of pony husks. For every marionette he crushed, two more would take its place. Miles continued to expertly punch, kick, hack and snap his way through over three dozen members of the horde, until eventually his limbs were pinned under the enormous sea of puppets.

Miles dropped his blood-soaked hammer - it slowly tumbled down the mass of lifeless limbs before eventually lying still, staining the dirt with its self-worth. He managed to grab several ponies with his hands and toss them away with a grunt, only for several more sets of stubby appendages to take their place in viciously halting the blood flow to his arms. His legs suffered much the same fate as the miniature equines began to strike at his flesh mask with all their might. This shield was not so easily dented.

Luna closed her eyes and turned her head - Discord folded his world-breakers and glared.

Miles cackled as his teeth slid down into his lungs and his eyes began to weep the syrupy essence of life. Eventually, he felt nothing as he grew closer to becoming another corpse to be swallowed by the mountain of flesh and bone.

His world faded to black.





Luna launched out of slumber with a shout. Her crescent bed very slightly rocked as she pressed her hooves to her face. After several moments of silence, glistening droplets of shame began pattering over the linen sheets. Eventually, this pattering turned to sobs as the princess of the night let herself go.

She did not hear the creak of her jewel-encrusted door being pried open, yet did feel the soft embrace of a large, pure white wing wrap around her small frame.

"Lulu..." An angelic, motherly voice whispered into her twitching ear. "Shh, Lulu... You're okay. It was but a dream..."

Luna's sobs lessened. "N-Nay, sister... T'was not..."

Celestia tightened her wing's cocooning of her little sister in concern, yet spoke not a word. Luna's sobs died down to sniffles.

"D-Discord... Took control of our realm... He h-harmed the human..."

Celestia bristled and furrowed her brow slightly. "Little Lulu, you know that one cannot be harmed within a dream." She pressed her muzzle to her sister's cheek. "Things may hurt him in the moment, but you know better than I that he will awaken with little but the vague memory of whatever it is he went through." Celestia climbed onto the bed with her sister. "I know you, Lulu." She teasingly blew a lock of her sister's mane. 

"We know of this, Tia... Yet you know not of the extent to which Discord pushed the alien." Luna sniffled. "The poor creature must have been in unbearable pain in that moment. I imagine it is not something he shall soon forget..."

Celestia's gaze steeled over for a moment, her expression unreadable. "Lulu... I understand, and yet, I can see that something else is bothering you." Luna remained silent. "I'm your big sister - you can share anything with me." She now wrapped her other wing around Luna's front. "I will not let your worries slip past my guard as I so regrettably did those thousand winters ago..." Luna closed her eyes as she felt Celestia's wings shield her quivering muscles and her melodic breath warm her still soaking wet cheek.

Luna took several calming breaths of her own as she felt her heartbeat slow. "Discord took over my realm, sister..." She huddled closer into the curve of her sister's long, warm neck. "He made me powerless as he dominated that which is mine." Her eyes now closed, her hooves grasping at Celestia's peytral yet failing to make purchase. "I was so utterly helpless..."

Celestia sighed. "You feel ashamed that he toyed with what is most sacred and unique to you. Is that right, sister?"

Luna nodded up at her sister with her eyes sparkling like glass orbs in the moonlight. Celestia felt her chest tighten a little at the adorable display. "Y-Yes... The night is my domain. Only I am supposed to hold power over the dream world..."

"Oh, Lulu... You should have been around Discord long enough now to know that nothing is beyond his influence. Being ashamed he held power over you is much the same as being ashamed that flowers bloom in the soft sunlight of spring." Celestia nuzzled her sister for a moment.

"...I am sure he would find a way to have sunflowers bloom within Canterlot's sewers." Luna deadpanned.

Celestia rolled her eyes and began to chuckle - a harmonic sing-song chuckle that tickled Luna's scalp as its vibrations sent pleasant, tingly shivers down her body. "I am sure he could, dear sister!" Her chuckles died down. She gently smiled down at her little moonshine. "The Lord of Chaos can fling my Sun through the cosmos just as easily as he can your moon. Do not feel shame, Lulu." She lifted her sister's chin with a wing to meet her warm smile. "He, no doubt gleefully, witnessed the chaotic explosion of the Universe coming to life, and will assuredly remain when its remnants collapse and grow still following entropy..."

"I imagine he cannot wait..." Luna glanced down at her dampened linen.

Celestia chuckled. "You'd be surprised just how much he now cares for this world and the ponies within it, Lulu."

Luna did not respond, her eyes glued to the beautiful, hoof-stitched bed sheets she had hired a wandering noble of Manehattan to painstakingly craft for her. Its deep-blue waning crescent moon ever gravitated her swirling thoughts into a pool of warmth and comfort.

The night princess almost whined as her feathery blankets retracted to her sister's sides. Celestia hopped off the bed with a pep in her step. "Now enough about him, sister. You should try and get a couple more hours of sleep before you have to lower your moon." Luna pouted as Celestia chuckled with a motherly warmth. "I have to say, my little sister - I am always glad to see you slip into the modern tongue. You are adjusting quite nicely." Luna blushed as her elder winked.

She trotted towards the doorway once more, flinging it open with a sparkle of golden magic. "If you'll excuse me - I have a cak- ergh -bundle of papers with my name on them... G-Goodnight..." The door swiftly slammed shut; Luna heard her sister's hooves hurriedly scamper down the hall.

Luna fell back onto her silken pillow with a dull thud. She sighed softly as she turned onto her side; her hind legs tucked towards her chest and her eyes drifted shut, the concerns of the day drawing further away - until a loud ping caused her to yelp and spark her horn to life as she sat up and scanned her bedroom in anger.

There, floating precariously close to her extremely expensive chandelier, was the being she and her sister had just finished discussing.

His expression appeared remorseful.

"I, uh... S-Sorry?" He held his paw and claw to his chest and cringed slightly as he spoke, slightly shrinking in size.

Luna huffed with a quivering pout and hastily pulled the covers over her head, shoving her face into the pillow.

"Oh, poo..."