April 14th, the Year MCCCXLV

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A breeze pushed against the silk blinds that hung loosely above the windows, the silvery sheets of cloth rippling gently as moonlight shone through and turned the floor into a sea of color and shadow. As the door to the balcony closed quietly, the soft footsteps of a woman could be heard making their way across the room. Her robe was as ruffled as she was, perhaps somewhat wrung through from her continuous pacing. Her hair, beautiful and as lurid as a rainbow, was ruffled through again and again by her hands. She had been pacing for nearly an hour now; by her mind’s estimation, thoughts such as this would put a worn path on the hardwood beneath her feet in days.

Part of her wondered if she should simply head to the balcony once more and let the moonlight calm her mind. The rest of her knew that to be out in the open would invite prying eyes, particularly ones she was unwilling to speak to just yet. Her sister had no reason to know these things quite so suddenly, especially when she was not at all sure what to do with herself at all.

In a stroke of inspiration, she paused. Turning to her private desk, she remember a gift she had been given in time long past. Shuffling through the enormous pile of papers and personal items, she found a dusty leather diary sitting at the very bottom. She placed it on the desk and opened its pages for the first time, dipping her quill in ink as she began. Just before pen met paper she hesitated; was this wise? Did she even know what to write at all, or was all of this simply reactionary? Her mind was a muddled mess. She gave a deep, billowing sigh, feeling the weight of wracked emotions on top of an overly long day. She needed sleep, and clearing her mind would help.

April 14th, the Year MCCCXLV

My name is Princess Celestia. Despite all the many thoughts and emotions erupting within my brain tonight, I am at least certain of that. I hope Luna forgives me for the prolonged lack of use this diary has been given- it has sat within my care unused for quite some time now. Perhaps this is what it waited for.

Tonight has been… intriguing to say the very least. I guess I could say I brought it upon myself, really. I have often enjoyed friendly tricks, but I have unfortunately played it on the wrong suspect. I do not know when the guilt will truly leave me.

I struggle to write this. My mind is rattled. Perhaps I should start from the beginning?

It is strange to think the events that occurred tonight began over a month ago. The Solar Guard was conducting their many inspections and celebrations that come during the early days of spring. Once a year, I am called upon to personally inspect a regiment alongside their Commander. This year the Outer Wall was called upon, a group of soldiers known for skill in weapons. Ragtag, but well-meaning warriors. As always, I try to meet with my soldiers, do my best to make them feel welcome and appreciated, if only for a moment. It is a hard life.

As I went down the line, I came across a young soldier who seemed –how would I put it?- starstruck. I did not know if I took him by surprise, but my presence was both a matter of intense anxiety and great joy for him. For the rest of my time spent among the soldiers of the Outer Wall his eyes were upon me. Though he did not know it, I gave him one last look as I departed, his look of delight still evident on his face. It was an unexpectedly pleasant moment.

Or so I had thought. I awoke early the next morning to perform my duties, to bring the sun back to my kingdom again. As I made my way through the halls, I heard a familiar voice- it was the young soldier, accompanied by a friend as they maintained watch of the halls. As I listened in, I began to realize he was speaking of someone in a very… passionate manner. I discovered it was me. Their conversation continued, only becoming more vulgar as it went on, the young man’s passions being egged on by his companion.

Suddenly the events of the day prior had soured and I was displeased with him. Soldiers! Brave and resilient to the bitter end, but so often are they crude and juvenile. I was displeased to see such a new face to my ranks had already taken to such boyish ways. Perhaps I was influenced by the fact that it was of me that he spoke? Either way I resolved to settle the matter. I made directives for him to come under my eye as part of the Royal Guard, to test his mettle and see what was beneath. Whether it would end in an apology or a dismissal I did not know. I certainly hoped I would cure him of this attitude, as to let it sit and fester would only make it worse.

In no time at all he was trained and a full member of the Royal Guard, Commander Hearth Fire noting him and his Sergeant displayed natural aptitude towards the work. I subtly made inquiries as to their nature; what was he like, how did he operate in regards to other soldiers? Nothing of consequence came, but reports of his service as part of the Outer Wall was standard form for a newcomer; inexperienced but determined. Nothing to indicate cruelty or perversion, at least not yet.

I let him work with the others for a time, waiting for an indication of who he was. Yet, nothing came. Instead, my soldiers spoke well of him. So, seeing as I was the subject of his remarks, I decided to see what he was made of myself. I began to have him work with me directly, be in my presence where he could not escape. Slowly, as discreetly as I could manage, I manipulated myself and my surroundings so I could entice him. I wanted to be a temptation to him, to rouse the animal within and see who he really was.

He endured as well as anyone could manage, giving his all to maintain his composure around me. The dedication and integrity Hearth Fire and my long-time soldiers had mentioned showed itself… and something else I couldn’t quite recognize just yet. It intrigued me, as well as his behavior. He obviously struggled, but did his best not to give in.

After a month, I received word from Hearth Fire that he had requested to return to the Outer Wall, citing an “inability to perform to standard.” Hearth Fire, in usual form, was unable to understand why anyone would want to leave the Royal Guard. However, he mentioned a distinct despair in the young man’s expression, as if something weighed upon his shoulders. Even then, I felt a niggle of doubt in regards to my actions. Perhaps my course of actions had not been as well thought out as I had realized. I had, without meaning to, started a ticking time bomb.

Tonight, if it is unsurprising, the timer ran out and I pushed a good man and hurt a person more deeply than perhaps I ever have before. I asked him to perform a simple task for me; come into my bedroom and help me undress. As my more royal garb came undone and just as I put on the attire which I wear now, he broke. Instead of scandalous, the young man took a course far more romantic, taking me in his arms and- perhaps I should keep this within the contents of my own mind- giving me the finest kiss I have ever received.

What came next was humbling. In the time I had known the young man, not once did I pause to think that perhaps, just maybe, his struggle found a source in something much, much deeper.

Saber Ford is his name, and tonight I prodded him in the hopes of revealing a boy- but instead discovered a man. He had grown up infatuated with me, coming to love me as a young boy. Even his inscription into the Solar Guard was borne out of affection for me, a desire to look after me and keep me safe from harm. It was a motive so pure that I hadn’t even considered it- I felt, and still feel, a shame that I did not know I could possess. I took his heart and twisted it within my grasp for far too long. Oh Ford, I hope you can forgive me.

I spoke to him, comforted him as best I could. And, in perhaps what is really my biggest blunder of the night, I gave him my colors and a kiss of my own. He belongs to me and I to him.

A lover. In all my years upon this earth, never before have I taken a person to my side in such a manner. The girl in me is beside herself with an unreasonable excitement.

The queen, however, is an emotional wreck who wonders if I have just ruined a young man’s life. Ford is young, perhaps overly passionate, but virtuous. Despite what happened tonight between the two of us, I fear he still holds me on a pedestal- he has longed for me for nearly all of his life, how can he love someone who he idealizes? Soon enough he will come to realize that the woman he desired all these years does not exist- he loved a façade, and when he discovers all the flaws and failings beneath, the illusion will be stripped away. And perhaps it will be a disappointment he can never recover from…

Oh great heavens help me, what have I done tonight? I nearly broke a young man’s heart and tried to soothe it by making another mistake! What was I thinking, allowing such a thing to occur? I cannot have a lover, I am Princess! Keeper of the Sun, the Thousand-Year ruler, Wielder of Eternal Fire… everything a kingdom needs me to be. If I attend to the kingdom, I sacrifice time that Ford would deserve. He is an honorable soul, and deserved to be given true affection and time- not what little I could spare. Yet, if I do that, then the kingdom suffers. There are hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of souls within my kingdom, and the needs of many outweigh the needs of the one.

To top it all off, I do not even know how a relationship would be maintained at all in the first place. He is a Royal Guardsman and I am royalty- by law he is forbidden to even lay a hand on a noble and to break such a law would see him excommunicated from the Solar Guard- forever. If either of us were to be discovered, the fallout would be catastrophic. I would survive, but I do not think Ford would be at peace ever again, and for the rest of his life the one woman he loved would be his ruin. Perhaps it is a selfish thought, but I do not believe I would be able to bear the guilt of such a thing.

I believe I made a mistake. The more I look upon it, the more I am certain I have started down a path that will only end in failure. It will be a strain upon him that will never leave, and if the relationship fails? I will be the culprit of breaking his heart. We may not even have a thing in common, and though I am inexperienced, I am fairly certain that compatibility is necessary for a relationship to function.

… Unfortunately, ink does not so easily sweep away, and my words above remain. I left this diary for some time as I mulled over my next decision. My head feels clear and my heart is calm. I believe I have made a decision.

I will let things continue for now. To break it off so suddenly after fulfilling his deepest desires would only break Ford’s spirit. I am, just as he is, in unfamiliar territory. To panic like this is unbecoming, and certainly not fair to either of us.

Celestia, are you certain of this? Are you willing to admit that perhaps it is a girlish desire that keeps you from seeing sense? That you are not being swayed by the romanticism of the thought? You must remember that this is not a small matter- this is someone’s heart, their deepest and more desperate desires. You nearly broke him once. One wrong move and you may do irreparable damage.

Let it continue. Enjoy your time with him, but always remember: anything can come to an end.

April 23rd, the Year MCCCXLV

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The moon is rising in the eastern sky as I set my pen to paper. Luna’s work is a beautiful thing to witness, the serenity of the stars aglow. It is a calming, comfortable thing to see. How strange that it is so akin to what has happened today.

We… met again tonight. Ford and I somehow found the time to be with one another. Or more truthfully, I was able to create the opportunity for us.

For some time now, we have been separate from one another, our individual duties preventing us from spending time with one another. He was not placed on Day Court guard, nor on guard outside my chambers for some time, leaving us to be spared only glances and brief words, much of them simple formality as we passed each other by.

However, each time we met… I could feel the longing in his gaze. The desire that burned within him was evident, at least it was to me. Every time we meet, I see a change overtake him. A vibrancy courses through his bones, a happiness borne straight from his soul. I do not know how to feel about it. Part of me is embarrassed that I cause such a reaction in him, another part of me is flattered… and yet another part feels guilt for what I am doing to him. I still feel as if I am stringing him along down a path that will only bring him unhappiness. Nonetheless, I still found myself desiring to see him. Perhaps the more immature side of me won over sensibility.

I requested the kitchens to prepare a dinner, a private banquet in the royal dining hall. As the word came to the Royal Guard, I was assigned two guards, a pair of young men named Fire Jewel and Cinder. I was going to be satisfied with the selection until I saw Ford walking past with a cohort of his, and an idea sprang to my mind.

“Jewel, Cinder, both of you are exhausted,” I told them, much to their surprise. “I do not wish to ask more of you than what has been asked of you already.”

The two, dutiful as any of my Guards, attempted to protest, but I held firm. I called over to Ford and his fellow, requesting that they take the place of their fellow Guardsmen. Instantly I saw Ford’s face light up with delight, only to be immediately quelled by his self-control. They both agreed, and so they took their place in the hall as I ate. Ford’s eyes never left me for a second, his gaze studying every inch of me. Yet every time I looked up at him, his gaze would swiftly dart away. I realized he had yet to understand my intent.

Quietly, I motioned for his fellow to be dismissed, conjuring a task for him to do that would keep him away for some time. As he left the room, Ford’s gaze fell to me and I saw in his face he understood what was going on.

“Come to me,” was all I said, and we soon found ourselves in each other’s arms, I pressing my lips against his- a gesture that surprised myself as much as it did him. Perhaps it was my fondness for him that made me do such a thing, or the heat of the moment. But as try as I might, I could not deny the comfort I felt as we held one another. I had equals -my dear sister, Twilight- but this was something much different.

I motioned for him to join me, and he quietly removed his armor, the young man looking uncertain as he did when we first spent time together. We ate together, barely a word spoken between us, awkwardness slowly filling the void of silence. We had held one another, kissed yet again- yet somehow, something was wrong.

I studied him as he dined with me, watching as he stole his glances of me. His eyes were filled with wonder, awe of me. But also uncertainty, a hesitancy. Perhaps it was his own, or he sensed my discomfort I do not know.

I realized I would have to break the silence between us, so I simply asked him if something what was on his mind.

His gaze lowered. “Is… is something wrong, Princess?”

I had expected my name. Instead, he had greeted me with formality. I was taken aback. “Please, you know my name,” I told him. “You certainly have the right to use it.”

Ford, if possible, became more hesitant. “Celestia, you- you seem like you’re- well, uncomfortable. Did I do something wrong? I haven’t gotten you in trouble, have I?”

Did he have doubts about our secret romance as well? Was there a part of him that feared he would only leave me hurt? Or worse, did he still have me on a pedestal, something perfect and out of reach?

“Are you troubled?” I asked, reaching out for his hand and taking it.

He hesitated, looking down at my hand, moments passing until he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. The longer his armor remained off, the more the façade of the Guard fell away into the ether. There was no one left but Ford, a young man with all his worries and concerns that he possessed. “I just wonder sometimes,” he confessed. “If maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. Suddenly you and I share something, something very private and personal. But it could get both of us into very real trouble, and I just wonder if I’ve put your place in the world at risk… for something kind of selfish.”

He didn’t even think of himself in all of it. “I would survive,” I told him. “There have been far worse things said of me in my long life. But you… you are young, and I know the consequences if you are caught.”

He nodded. “I know that, too,” he said. “It’s just…”

“Strange?” I suggested, and for the first time a smile cracked his face.

“Very much so,” he said. “I’ve dreamed about you since I was young, wanted you, and now here you are. And suddenly it’s dangerous, it’ll be hard to see one another, so many secrets we’ll have to keep. I guess I spent so much time thinking about you that I didn’t think how hard it would be.”

“I do not believe either of us did that night,” I said. “Emotions were certainly running very high.”

He turned to me, a strange dread upon his face. “You don’t regret what you said, did you?”

“No, of course not!” I said firmly. “I… truth be told, I do not know what will come of this, either. Or how we will meet. I am as unfamiliar as you are.”

We both sat in silence, watching as the first of the moon’s light began to creep over the horizon, the candles of the dining hall bringing a soft dim light to our surroundings. It was not a romantic scene, nor even a very happy one.

Ford reached for his arm, slowly bringing up his shirtsleeve to reveal a white handkerchief bearing the colors of the sun- my mark that I had given him that night. “I wear it every day,” he said quietly. “I like to think of it as a good luck charm. It really has been one; I’ve been way calmer and focused with my duties. It’s like I have a little bit of you with me wherever I go, and I find it calming. So, even if things are a little awkward right now, you’ve made my life better already.”

A smile, unbidden, fell across my features and I felt glad of his hand in mine. “Thank you,” I said. “Perhaps that is what I needed tonight to lift the melancholy.”

“I’m your champion,” he said. “If you need me, just ask for me. I’ll be here by your side.”

“How revealing,” I remarked, the two of us sharing a quick, quiet laugh. “Perhaps we will know what to do, in due time.”

“I hope so. We’ll get better at this, as time goes on.” He studied me. “Do… do you WANT to continue?”

I mulled over his words, truly considering them. True, there was still guilt for what I was doing, uncertainty that any of it would succeed at all. Yet, a small part of me grew that night, and it was from there that I spoke.

“Yes, I do,” I said, more certainly than perhaps I realized. “Yes, I would like to see you again.”

There was a knock on the door, Ford’s fellow Guardsman returning from his errand. A quick kiss as a goodbye and Ford donned his armor, opening the door and returning to his duties.

And just like that, our dinner was over.

May 1st - May 8th, the Year MCCCXLV

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May 1st, the Year MCCCXLV

There was no visit today. My plan of a meeting between Ford and I had to be abandoned, due to the unfortunance of circumstance: a visitor from the Griffon Kingdom brought himself before me today, a reminder of growing tensions between my people and theirs. For the past several years, there have been incidents involving those of my people who dwell within their kingdom’s borders. Though we are not as innocent as I would like to claim, many of my people have faced abuse and threats of physical violence, though thankfully nothing has yet risen to deaths.

My guest was unexpected, which was perhaps this ambassador’s goal. My plans for the day -plans that subtly included some time with Ford- became lost as the ambassador’s plan became clear. It seems my kingdom now has a powered rival in the world, one that is certainly capable of holding their own. The Ambassador, a flighty man known as Grouse, declared that he brought will of the Griffon’s Emperor, who had become displeased with the conduct of those I rule, particularly those that dwell within his borders. I was told that my people have become disruptive in the daily life of the Griffon Kingdom, their beliefs and traditions coming to clash with those of their host country. Though the Griffon Kingdom “accepts all” there have been ideological clashes, and what was called “intentional disruption.” I do not know how much I can truly believe. My plan is to confer with my sister and send a private envoy of our own and see what can be ascertained. Any open distrust at this point would be considered disrespectful, and would likely bring about more animosity from the Griffon Kingdom.

Though Ambassador Grouse arrived in the very beginnings of the afternoon, the rest of the tenure of Day Court had to be dismissed, meaning that several well-meaning nobles and guests were delayed till further notice. I found myself dealing with a highly-focused and particularly troublesome delegate, one that would not be easily deterred. I hate to admit it, but many of his mannerisms, along with his priggishness, made him an unbearable man to deal with. As my duties came to an end, I found myself drained from dealing with the man. Rarely have I been so exhausted!

As I called Day Court to a close, I commanded that a private dinner be brought to my room so that I would be left in peace. Excess trouble from a living source often leaves me desiring solitude rather than company. Once the sun was lowered, and dear Luna having taken command, I left as quickly as I could for my chambers, desiring nothing more than to be left to my own devices.

I found everything as I had left it, save for the dinner I had ordered- and a vase of beautiful flowers sitting neatly on the edge of the tray. I went to examine them, finding the most exquisite of creatures: petite lobelias, impatiens, corydalis, and a sole sunflower bloom in their midst, holding a tightly crumpled note around its neck. When I first took the note I did not recognize the handwriting, reading:

In case you are in need of comfort and warmth, enjoy the beauty that sits before you. As they are warmed and bloom beneath the sun’s rays, so I am given comfort by the sight and sound of you.

-Ford

I cursed his foolishness at first. Such recklessness that could have revealed him! Had he no thought to his actions- but as much as I tried to hold onto my anger, I could not restrain my delight. Ford, despite not being on duty beside me, had somehow discovered my distress and sought a way to raise my spirits.

I have not thought of it before, but I now realize no one has ever brought me flowers before.

It was a kind gesture. One that I will make sure he does not attempt again.

May 3rd, the Year MCCCXLV

It was not until a few days later that I began to wonder how Ford had managed to so discreetly enter my room and gift me flowers without detection. His schedule has been busy as my own, if not more so. Today, he was on duty with me again on the Day Court, so after my duties had been performed I requested his presence with me as I walked the halls. It was strangely comforting to have his presence, one that I had called to know me as an equal. True, I have Luna, Twilight, and Cadance, but their duties keep them set to their own schedules and places. To have one with me nearby is incredibly heartening.

As we reached an area where we could be private, I inquired of him as to how he had managed it. He blushed, somewhat embarrassed of his own deeds.

“You’re not- you are not angry with me, are you?”

My instinctual response was to say I was not. Instead, I replied by saying, “Only somewhat.”

His look of shame was immense. “I only thought that I would bring you happiness, I did not mean to cause you displeasure.”

“None at all!” I said to him. “I am only concerned for your safety and your reputation. If you had been caught, what dangers would you now be facing?”

“Ones I can certainly manage,” he replied. “I promise you I took all necessary precautions, no one was nearby when I went in. Our secret remains safe.”

“Please do not take such a risk again,” I cautioned him.

“Even if I want to?”

“Especially so.”

We walked together, watching as Luna’s moon came slowly rising over the horizon.

“Did you like them, at least?” he asked of me. “The flowers, I mean.”

It was my turn to become red. “Do you know that you are the first person to ever bring me flowers?” I told him. “After all these centuries, I am suddenly in a world of ‘firsts.’”

He laughed, a relaxing sound that seemed to bring a pleasant coolness to the warmth of the night. “How is that so? Has no one ever tried to woo you?”

“Never,” I told him. “Perhaps being an immortal, magically powerful being presents me as someone fairly off-putting.”

“Or just extremely attractive,” he suggested.

“Did it make me somewhat intimidating to you?” I asked, becoming curious.

“The mantle of your rulership was certainly intimidating,” he confessed. “But your powers and your age, no. Perhaps it should- after all, I am still a young man and you are… do you even know yourself how long you have lived? All the stories of you begin a millennium ago, but there are no records of you further back.”

“So long that I do not care to remember any longer,” I told him.

We sat there together in a loving quiet, enjoying the view of the city as the moon set it aglow, letting the aura and comfort of the moment consume us both.

It was he who first broke the silence. “I am sorry to leave you, Princess, but I must go. I have another shift to perform, so I must make my rounds.”

“But you were on Day Court with me,” I said. It had always been my explicit instructions that no soldier would work two shift unless on an overnight duty. I never wished for my soldiers to be overworked, especially in times of peace.

“Yes, but, I was asked to fill in for another. Sergeant Coal is currently occupied at home, and I served with him on the Outer Wall, so I typically try to aid him in what I can.”

“What is the matter?” I asked.

We talked further, and that was when I was informed that Sergeant Coal’s wife and son were ill.

May 8th, the Year MCCCXLV

I was told that my decision to head to Sergeant Coal’s home was foolish. Captain Hearth Fire informed me that I had ‘put myself in unnecessary risk and danger’ due to my ‘reckless’ actions.

Sometimes I wonder if my Guard forget that I am an immortal, powerful enchantress that has lived for thousands of years and fought against monsters and demigods the likes of which have not been seen before or since. But apparently, my decision to walk through the streets of Canterlot with Ford as my accompanying guard was a ‘high-risk’ choice.

In all honesty, I do understand why Hearth Fire told me these things. To have a ruler attacked in a public setting would cause mass panic, to lose one’s ruler –one who is your responsibility- would be a crisis the likes of which this kingdom has never seen. But I do not regret my decision at all.

Mulling over the events of today, I believe my sister and I have created a problem for ourselves in our rulership of this country. As Ford and I made our way through the crowds, all I could see was an overwhelming reverence for my very footsteps, pairs of eyes sneaking the smallest of glances at me before quickly darting away. I am not approachable to them- now I understand Ford’s overt hesitancy to even speak to me. I do not know what we did to cause it, but Luna and I have become deities; sovereign and glorious, but terrifying to the eyes of mortals.

Ford said little as we walked, his eyes peeled for the smallest sign of danger. In the time that I have known him he has generally been relaxed but professional. Today he was a soldier in total, every fiber of his being honed to a razor edge. Beyond the small moments of him saying things like, “A right here, Your Majesty,” or “Straight ahead three blocks, Your Majesty,” I would have believed I was accompanied by a voiceless specter.

When we finally reached our destination, Ford informed me that the worst of the illness had passed, his wife and son still in prescribed bedrest but awake and recovering. I was glad to hear of it. A wearied Sergeant Alexander Coal answered the door, appearing anxious yet delighted by my presence. We were welcomed in, Sergeant Coal and Ford greeting one another with the camaraderie that only soldiers share.

Our time was brief, but it was wonderful to be among them. Theana, a lovely woman who acts as the local den mother for her cul-de-sac. Little Bolfur, a boy hardly six years old and bursting with energy, eager to be well and on his feet once more. It seemed the whole family wanted to display everything they cherished to me, their prized possessions becoming priceless because of my gaze dwelling upon them. It was flattering, but I told them quickly that to be among their company was what I would remember most.

About halfway through our visit, Ford discreetly departed, a small sackful of Bits in hand. I had given him orders to purchase things for me, and before long he returned with a bountiful meal for the family- a prize hen and a basket of fresh crops. Theana hardly dared to accept, but I eventually won her over- perhaps a Princess’ will was not to be denied.

We ate together, wished them well, and departed just as quietly as we had come, their presence having left a glow in my heart.

When we returned, I found Captain Hearth Fire awaiting me, quickly ordering Ford outside so the two of us could speak in private. He spoke respectfully, but his anger was evident. I had caused him great distress with my actions, and he made it clear that he did not wish for me to do such a thing again. I did my best to respect his wishes. To be easily dismissive of a Captain of the Royal Guard is not something to be in the habit of. However, I did make it clear that I should be able to be seen by my people, and not from a distance. This reverence people have for my very presence needs to be cast aside. Court and decorum has its place and purpose, but I do not wish for my people’s worship.

After some time, Hearth Fire and I managed to come to an agreement that would soothe his spirits. Next time, there would be more guards in place. Discreetly placed, but present at all times, and one guardsman stationed beside me at all times. It was not perfect, but it was enough to satisfy Hearth Fire.

When I left, I found Ford outside in the anteroom awaiting his next order, Hearth Fire quietly dismissed him to head home and be done with his duties for the day. Taking on a dose of inspiration, I quietly took a note and began writing, a small snap of my fingers causing the parchment to dissipate, reappearing in Ford’s hands.

I ate, I drank, I set the sun and returned to my quarters where I found Ford waiting for me as I instructed. He reached out for me, taking my hand in his own as we sat together, he expressing his gratitude for coming to visit his mentor and friend.

“You seem displeased about something,” he said, his gaze studying me intently.

“Do all the people see me with such reverence?” I asked of him. “Am I considered a goddess?”

Ford considered the question for some time, thinking over his answers. “Some do, perhaps,” he said. “Many see you as not a Princess but the Princess. Luna is a warrior, she is a fighter and defender. Her presence is rarely seen, and more often as a guardian and protector rather than a consummate ruler. You… you’re the ideal people aspire to. They see you and they see everything they want to be. Beautiful, powerful, graceful and gentle, wise and compassionate. You give them something to strive towards.”

“A person like that isn’t real,” I told him. “I can be those things, but I can also be foolhardy and unkind. So many stories of me paint me as something heroic and perfect, but so many of those stories came to pass because of my mistakes and foolishness.”

“They do not see that,” he replied. “They see you. And to them, you’re something beyond them.”

I squirmed at the thought. I despise the pedestal I have been put on. I wish to give them something to strive towards, but for the ideals and examples I strive to display to be this unattainable thing is unacceptable. Perhaps not today, but I will find a way to change this. To be seen as human again.

“Would you kiss your lady?” I asked him, gently laughing at the look of surprise upon Ford’s face. “Kiss me, please. Remind your lady that she’s a girl beneath that crown.”

And so he did.

June 7th - June 15th, the Year MCCCXLV

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June 7th, the Year MCCCXLV

It has been a considerable length of time since I have found myself within the pages of this diary. It was not an intentional thing, but rather a necessity. The summer has truly arrived, bringing with it a myriad of problems that needed to be dealt with.

The summer has been hot- extraordinarily hot, even by the standards of my weather-tamers. Heat warnings have been pervasive across the kingdom, with many of the larger cities becoming oppressive. I have done my best to help prevent the worst, but heat casualties are on the rise. With water sources dwindling in the excess heat, so have the abundance of crops. I have warned the kingdom that shortages in crops will be coming, as well as the possibility of rations if the rains do not come. Twilight has been working on a theory on how to dilute saltwater from the oceans into drinkable water, but she says the process will take time, and will not produce much early on. But she is hopeful, and that means it is an idea that can be counted upon.

Twilight- not once have I regretted taking her under my wing. Even when she was a child she always showed such potential, such ability! For a time I wondered if she would simply will her days away in books and studies- a useful, honorable path, but too lonely for such a brilliant young girl. Time with others has elevated her, helped her take root and grow. Her spare few years as a Princess have brought about considerable prosperity. The further she goes, she will become only greater.

Luna has been another great asset as the situation has unfolded, keeping the peace at night and ensuring the safety of the primary water sources. Rainbow Falls, likely the most precious water source the kingdom has, is under watch both night and day now. Luna has given me her word that no one will bring harm to them- nor take any excess beyond what is allowed.

The Crystal Empire has been aiding in what ways they can, doing their best to preserve ice from the mountains. Cadance, though admittedly isolated from much of the kingdom, has been working hard to build stocks as a last-resort option, should the heatwave continue further on. If the fall comes and we do not see relief, the Crystal Empire will have more than enough in reserves to keep us moving forward.

I am grateful for those I call friends. The minds and skill I have alongside me, never has the kingdom been so strong, or so secure of a hopeful future. Equestria should be proud of them- all of them. I have never before been so certain that no matter what we face, we will make it through stronger than before.

The Solar Guard has been my right hand these wearisome days, going out into the people and aiding them directly. Ever since my visit to Sergeant Coal’s home, I have tried my best to be a more prevalent force among the people. I wish for the pedestal I have been placed upon to crumble away into nothingness.

I have Ford to thank for that. He is young, but growing stronger and more confident every day I see him. He is becoming focused, sharp; a model soldier that the Royal Guard can rely upon.
And, though they do not know it, he is a steady hand I cherish. My early misgivings, born from that night we first spoke, have all but diminished. He is… a comfort I did not I wanted. To have someone who I can rest upon, to find comfort and solace in. He makes me feel stronger, at peace when I am weary. Just to see him brings a happiness to me- and I to him. I wish these past several weeks had been kinder to the both of us, but we have done our best. A small moment in the quiets of the night, a stolen kiss out of sight in the hallways, hands intertwined as we watch the sun rise…

I am glad I gave this road a chance. I am glad for Ford.

June 14th, the Year MCCCXLV

I have… a small problem.

A small problem that I seem to be struggling to rid myself of, and I do not know how to deal with it at all.

… Perhaps it is a larger problem than I want to admit. Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I am loathe to admit it, but I find myself, well, out of my depth.

Ford has… an admirer. A young laundry maid, hardly a grown woman. She has been part of the palace’s staff for only a month now, a girl whose family came from the eastern plains to Canterlot a year ago. Lately I have seen her in the halls and around the barracks, often trying to catch his eye. Every time she sees him she smiles and greets him with an overt friendliness, a flush overtaking her face. She will ‘accidentally’ make a mistake such as dropping something in her hands so she can spend a few moments speaking to him, or pretending to slip and fall so he can be her momentary savior.

Ford is a gentleman, so of course he helps her every time. She then tries to lead him away, somewhere private most likely. Thankfully, he is always on duty, or training- or trying to be with me. But she persists anyway, and I worry it will someday come to a head. She will make an advance and-

Oh, how can I let myself be brought to this? I sound as jealous and petty as a schoolgirl, trying to make a rival out of a young laundry maid! This sort of poor behavior is far beneath me. I should be ashamed of myself. I am ashamed.

Yet I cannot prevent myself from not feeling what I feel. He is my champion- how could I be comfortable with the situation? The more genuine concern should be the potential revelation of our secret. If she makes an advance towards him, he will deny her, and then he would have to explain why. But if she becomes suspicious, or grows jealous herself, then a soul searching for something wrong would be able to follow the trail. We would be exposed.

I do not know how to properly defuse the potential situation that may be brewing. I hope I will think of a solution.

June 15th, the Year MCCCXLV

Today was a simple day. Many of my guests, burdened by the heavy heat, were forced to delay their meetings and seek shelter in the depths of the castle, or search for the sparse breeze that would help to cool the summer air. Eventually, even I could no longer stomach the sweltering discomfort of Day Court and adjourned early, seeking out a refuge that I had discovered early in the days of Canterlot’s history as a city.

When the castle had first been built, a series of tunnels had been built into the mountains in the event of a major evacuation, a critical escape route in the event that the city should fall. When the tunnels were being built, a dead-end route was discovered, one that led to a series of mountain springs not far inside. The water is pure, and has been occasionally used for the prevention of diseases. It is a private pool, a place of cleansing and restoration.

I felt the unease and weariness in my mind. I needed a place where I could let something wash my feelings and exhaustion away and let me be renewed. As easily as I could manage, I dismissed my guards and departed for the springs. As quickly as I could manage I was soon in the waters, the soft coolness of the water overtaking me, washing away the grime and sullenness that had come to grip me so. It was a soothing, wondrous relief.

I heard the flutter of wings and soon saw the crimson feathers of a phoenix- Philomena, my dearest companion of all those long years. She tiptoed her way towards the waters, dipping her beak in and soon splashing about, cleaning herself until her feathers glistened in the afternoon sun.

I was grateful for her company, Philomena having been a part of my life since early on in my singular reign, coming to me as a hatchling not long after Luna had been taken from me. She knew me in ways I did not know myself. And as I stared into her eyes, letting her serene expression consume my thoughts, I came to an understanding: I wished for someone’s company.

Philomena understood. She gave a musical call and flung herself into the air, disappearing down the tunnels and out of sight. I finished cleaning myself and summoned my clothes to me, donning a loose-fitting, simple gown of gossamer silk that felt light to the touch.

In a few minutes I heard Philomena’s cry and the sound of footsteps. Ford was hurrying after her, not stopping until he caught sight of me, his eyes alight at my presence.

“She belongs to you?” he asked, pointing to a very pleased-looking Philomena.

“She is an old friend,” I said, beckoning him to my side. “One that I am glad to have.” I kissed him in greeting, the calming power of the waters having soothed my soul. “Just as I am glad of you.”

We let the sound of the waters soothe us as we sat together. The air was cool, serene and gentle. The minutes ticked by and soon crept into hours, neither of us needing to say a word. The moment was enough to dwell in. As the sun began to grow dark, I knew our time was short. Soon I would have to finish my duties and lower the sun to let Luna’s night begin.

“You have an admirer,” I said, my words finally breaking the spell of silence.

“Hm?”

“The young laundry maid,” I told him. “Have you not noticed?”

“What do you mean?” he asked me, the bewilderment in his face was apparent. I realized that despite everything I had seen, not once had he been aware of her intentions.

I explained to him, and my concerns of what may eventually come if she became more forward in her attempts to get his attention. Ford laughed, barely able to keep a straight face through it all.

“I never would have taken you for a jealous one,” he said once I finished. “Did you really think anyone on this earth could pull me away from you?”

I felt myself go red. “Part of me… considered it,” I confessed. “It is not something I am proud of. I have become accustomed to the stars in your eyes. I… hope they will remain.”

We sat there for a moment longer, until it was time for us to depart for the night. When the moment came, we made our plans and bid farewell for the night, gifting him one last kiss as he left.

Poor Ford. He will have to find a way to break a young girl’s heart.

June 16th, the Year MCCCXLV

Our young laundry maid has endured a difficult day. The poor girl, she has no reason to deserve the unhappiness she now bears.

I do not know when Ford spoke to her. He was kept busy with additional work from the Royal Guard, I have been unable to see him today. However, I did meet with her- all completely by accident.

Today was hot; sweltering even. When the sun rose to its highest point, word began to spread of heat casualties beginning to spread across the city. I called for Day Court to be cancelled, instead sending out my Solar Guard into the city to help deal with the potential crisis. The faster we diffused the growing trouble, the better. My Royal Guard stayed within the palace walls, taking command as their brethren went into the streets, stretching us thin. I suggested to Hearth Fire that a means of relief be brought for his soldiers, but instead he laughed. The Royal Guard has rejected any respite that could be brought to them. To suffer by protecting me, according to their leader, is their lifeblood.

My own mind considered the mountain pools in the tunnels, but I knew the spring’s powers had been drained. It is a strange magic, one not so easily tapped. As scorching as the heat was, I would have to wait for some time before I could find relief within the mountains once more. With no real tasks at hand, I decided to adjourn to my quarters and return to my correspondence with Twilight and Cadance. With no relief yet in sight, their solutions to the excessive heat were of high concern. So I returned and opened my doors, only to find a young girl in the midst of her duties- the same laundry maid that had fallen for Ford.

She dropped the sheets in her hand and gave a small little scream that was more akin to a squeak, absolutely terrified at the sight of me. “Your Majesty!” she finally managed to stutter, dropping into an elaborate curtsy. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t expect to see you!”

Her eyes were red. Dull and heavy from a day that I could tell had turned against her. Perhaps she had woken up that morning hopeful, certain that today would be the day. Instead, Ford had been forced to be the unwilling bearer of unwelcome news and likely spoiled her day, if not the next several days.

“Please rise, young one,” I told her. “My apologies. I assumed I would be alone. I hope I did not interrupt you.”

“No, Your Majesty, I can leave now, if you wish,” she said, hurrying away from her work.

“Not at all. Please, finish with what you need,” I replied.

She seemed uncertain but remained, returning to her work on the sheets. I turned to my bathroom, slowly placing my crown and trimmings upon the mantle. As I settled upon my reflection, I heard a series of wet sniffs from the main chamber. I turned to the door to see the young maid struggling to hold back tears, and my heart hurt for her. The poor girl had done nothing to receive such an unwelcome meeting.

“Is there something wrong?” I asked her.

“No- no, Your Majesty, I’m fine,” she replied, obviously lying.

“What is your name?”

“My- Auburn. Auburn Gold, Your Majesty,” she answered.

I took the sheet from her hand, offering her a chair opposite me. “Miss Auburn, why don’t you tell me what happened to upset you so?” I asked.

I already knew the story, save for the details. She had run into Ford that morning, hoping to ask him to spend time with her in the market that evening, but instead had been greeted by Ford’s rejection, Ford telling her that he already had whom he cared for deeply.

“I never knew,” Auburn said. “He has no mark on his arm, so I just assumed he was unattached.”

I took pause at that. It was true, all married or attached soldiers carried their spouse’s mark upon their arm, with Ford being the sole exception for reasons of protecting his safety. I realized this may be a problem we would have to confront again and again, so long as we were together.

“I feel so stupid,” Auburn muttered, looking utterly dejected. “He was so handsome, and kind, I just thought- I hoped- I really liked him. He was always nice to me.”

Ford, ever the gentleman. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. Auburn was soft in features and nature, this was a wound she would carry for some time by no fault of her own. It was a pity to see such a young girl so despondent. I stayed and talked with her for some time, until the worst of her gloom had come to pass. We worked together on the sheets, a simple task that helped to elevate her mood. She was by no means happy, but her sadness had more or less dissipated.

“Your Majesty, can I tell you something?” Auburn asked me as we set down the comforter.

“Of course,” I replied.

Auburn looked around, almost as if she expected spies at the door. “I think Saber is courting a noblewoman.”

I laughed, knowing full well she had no idea how real that answer was. “Oh? And what makes you say that?”

“He carries no lady’s mark, Your Majesty,” she said. “He may be her secret lover and has to hide it. I would bet it was her idea.”

I laughed again, thinking of the night when Ford first kissed me. He had, by my provocation, certainly brought it all about. “You may be right,” I told her.

“Would you have to do anything about it?” she asked.

“Only if I knew about it,” I said.

“Oh, please leave them be, Your Majesty, they mean no harm against you by it, I’m sure,” Auburn pleaded. “I… I do wish it was me, but their secret love- it’s a fairytale story! So romantic and special. There must be no love like it in the kingdom.”

If I had told her the truth then and there, poor Auburn would have collapsed from shock. Instead, I agreed to keep it hidden for the sake of her friend Saber Ford. As we finished, she bid me farewell and departed, the hint of a smile now upon her face.

She is a sweet girl, and young. Hopefully she will find someone who cares for her.

July 3rd - July 20th, the Year MCCCXLV

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July 3rd, the Year MCCCXLV

Rain!

The drought has come to an end. Three days ago, my chief weather-tamers reported that a massive storm was brewing off our western coast- a powerful one, if left unchecked. A team of our best fliers were dispatched to recon the growing storm, reporting a monstrous squall line that was going to intercept the Vanhoover coast if we did nothing.

Knowing few better, I called for Rainbow Dash of Ponyville to head a team. She was enthusiastic and immediately took to her duties, heading a team of five to power through and tame the storm. It was not until the next day that they even returned, battered and exhausted, but undeniably successful. What could have been a potential disaster instead has turned into a blessing. Vanhoover reported yesterday that a thick series of rainclouds were covering the coastline, delivering a pleasant-yet-steady stream of rain along its path. Enough to soften the soil, but gentle enough so that it would not cause flash flooding. Now, it has come through the mountains, and hopefully strong enough to keep pushing through to the east.

The city is celebrating. Cups and dishes, even pots and pans dot the city’s windows and rooftops, everyone eager to collect as much fresh rainwater as they can. I encourage it, even counseling the Solar Guard to gather what they can. Fresh rainwater, untouched, is a welcome drink to slake thirst, and is often used for more potent drinks. This stock will be a prized one as time goes on.

The rains do not mean that our heatwave is gone for good. We do not know when the next line of weather will pass through, nor if the heat will dissipate. Also, the more affected areas are under watch in case flash flooding does indeed occur. We are grateful, but we do not want to let down our guard.

I have ordered that some of the stocks be kept hidden for now, locked away for our Medicine Guilds in case of potential disease outbreaks in the future. Something already purified is critical for treatment of the ill. We will always prepare for the future.

However, for now, we celebrate. Celebrate and be thankful for this gracious relief.

When I returned to my quarters, on the nightstand beside my bed, I found a mason jar of clear rainwater, along with a small vase that bore a solitary, lovely arum-lily.

It is now the fourth gift he has secretly brought to my chambers, and I have yet to discover how he has remained undetected, or even how he has managed to enter my chambers. I am not sure I want to know, but I am certain that I do not wish for him to stop.

July 6th, the Year MCCCXLV

Ford intrigues me. I believe today is the first time I have ever seen a flaw in his character. He has always been very reserved, very respectful towards me. I think this is the first time he has shown anything less than that.

At first, I noticed nothing of concern. I performed my daily duties, attended to the needs of myself and that of my people. I rose and carried the sun, I bathed and prepared for the day, I ate and commenced the Day Court. There was nothing that I saw that would possibly have alerted me to something being amiss.

The day went on as many often had; Day Court brought its share of joys and challenges; noblemen and lords intermingled with visitors and guests bringing gifts and tidings from afar. The sun rose strong and harsh, the humidity brought by the rains becoming unrelenting. I did my best to soothe those in the throne room, but the temperature was oppressive. I began to hope we would soon have another reprieve.

A break for lunch was when I finally noticed something amiss: Ford had yet to make an appearance. I felt concerned, but nothing in the demeanor of his fellows hinted at something amiss. Even if I was genuinely worried, there was nothing I could do. To inquire as to his whereabouts would only raise suspicion. Still, it was strange. I often came across him in the halls while he was on duty, I often wondering if he made a habit of trying to see me. Instead, he was simply absent.

The day went on, Day Court continued, and still no sign of my champion. It was quite unlike him, and when I brought Day Court to a close I half-wondered if I should consider searching for him. Thankfully, common sense chastened my haste. It would do no good for Ford’s position for a Princess to have a sudden, public interest into his condition.

Accepting that I would simply not see him, I decided to adjourn to dinner, when I heard the sound of water sloshing against tile. I turned to one of the guest’s lavatories to see –to my utter surprise- Ford, head bowed and busying himself with a mop and bucket.

It was not my safest choice of words, considering I was not certain we were alone. “What are you doing?”

Ford gave a start, turning to me and his face gave a flash of cold shame. “Your Majesty!” he cried, bending down onto his knee.

He was always cautious in the open. I peered about, searching the hallways for a sign of life and discovered nothing. “We are alone,” I told him. “What are you doing here?”

Ford was hesitant to answer, that cold shame turning his features to stone. “I’m cleaning the lavatories,” he answered each word seeming to cut his throat as it escaped him.

I was confused. There were staff whose duty it was to attend to such things. My Solar Guard occasionally performed such tasks, but almost totally in regards to their own personal quarters. For one of my Royal Guard to do such a thing was… unusual. “May I ask why?”

Ford could hardly look me in the eye, trying to find his voice and eventually resigning to turning his face. “I… I failed to report this morning,” he answered, his voice flat. “So because I began my duties late, I was told that I would instead remain late as punishment. Sergeant Coal gave this to me as my task. I am free to leave when I am complete.”

I didn’t quite know what to say. His world, the militaristic world of rank and order, was unfamiliar to me. I knew it, but to be part of it was another thing entirely. I couldn’t imagine his shame, what this humiliation had dealt to him.

“I’m sorry,” I began to say.

“Don’t be,” he replied quickly. “I deserve this. I should not have failed in my duties. It is a reflection upon you.”

“I hardly see the connection,” I said mildly.

“We are what the world sees when they see you. We are supposed to be the best of all your kingdom, hand-picked to serve you and you alone. If I falter even once, it brings shame upon all of us- and upon you. Please forgive me.”

He knelt to the ground once more, hand outstretched in supplication and his head bowed.

“Of course I do,” I said, taking his hand and bringing Ford to his feet. “There is no one here, allow me to help you finish-”

“No!” his voice cut sharp as a blade, his eyes flashing. His expression of anger quickly turned to panic, his gaze flickering back and forth down the halls. “No,” he said again, this time far more quietly. “This is my failing, certainly not yours. Let me do this, I… I deserve this shame.”

I was taken aback, but saw I would find no way to reason with him. “Would you like to join me tonight?” I asked him. “I will be studying in the astrellarium tonight. I would be glad of your company.”

“Princess, I do not believe tonight I will make for fine company,” Ford answered, his voice regaining its sharpness. “I do not wish-”

“Do you not wish to see me?” I asked, feeling rather hurt by the thought of it.

“No, of course not,” he blustered, “I merely- I wish to-” he gave a defeated sigh. “I am sorry. Right now I do not know what I want.”

The sound of footsteps in the distance met my ears. “I will wait for you tonight,” I told him. “I do hope you find it in yourself to see me tonight.”

I departed for my evening meal, turning round the bend and disappearing from sight. Somewhere behind me I heard voices call Ford’s name, friendly banter emerging in their conversation.

I set the sun and dined quietly, a simple meal making do for a long evening. I bathed once more, relieving myself of the sweat and grime that had come from the day, and finding a gown I often preferred in the summer days. It was a loose-fitting sheet of satin the color of the dawn sky. I had been gifted it long ago, a present from the Arabian Nations.

The night air was still warm, the sun-scorched rock of the mountains holding on to the heat of the day. The stars began to shine as I made my way to the astrellarium, a simply building in the westernmost corner of the tower. I had built it for Luna soon after she had been freed, a place where she could gaze upon her cherished stars in solitude and peace. Luna appreciated it greatly, but told me she preferred to be out amongst the starlight instead of merely gazing at them through a telescope. I decided to convert it into a place of study of the solar system, manning it with as much technology and equipment as could be managed.

I began my work, gazing out into the oceans above. It had become a hobby of mine to study the starlight- perhaps my connection to one particular star had given me an appreciation for the dazzling tapestry above. Despite my best efforts, I was distracted. My ears remained pricked, eager for the sound of Ford’s approach.

As the moon rose higher into the sky, I began to give up hope. Thankfully, I soon heard the sounds of his arrival and soon saw Ford appear from the shadows, still in his armor and looking rather worn down. I came forward to greet him and immediately saw the shame upon his face.

“Princess, I am truly sorry for what I said, I-”

I cut him off before he could finish. “You have nothing to apologize for,” I told him.

“Yes, yes I do.” His voice was hot, as scorching as the summer sun. “I know what you are trying to do, but please do not downplay failure.”

I had underestimated how much it truly bothered him. Hesitating, I slowly reached for his hand and found it, leading him over to a nearby bench and settling himself beside me.

“Tell me what is the matter, please,” I said to him. “This is not like you.”

His anger remained. “I do not enjoy making a fool of myself,” he said. “Nor do I take pride in failure.”

“Neither does anyone else,” I reminded him.

“Not everyone else is a member of the Royal Guard,” he countered. “I am supposed to be better, I am better. Instead, I was the only one of your Guard that failed today. Me alone! And as if to make it worse, you have to stumble upon me and bear witness to it all!” Ford became so distressed that he left his seat, beginning to pace the floors of the astrellarium. “You shouldn’t have to see this,” he said. “You deserve better than this.”

I felt sympathy for him. Ford was proud- too much so. But to him, it was all connected. His duties were linked to his peers who were linked to himself, and all of them were linked to me. In his mind, he had let everyone down and lost his honor- a blow very difficult for him to bear.

“Please know that I understand your feelings, but you simply will not be perfect at all times,” I said, rising up to join him. “No one is capable of it, not even I.”

“You’re certainly better at attempting perfection than I am,” he said bitterly.

I laughed, coming up behind him and laying my arms across his chest. “If you do not recall, I believe I spent a good portion of a month sexually tormenting you,” I reminded him. “And that only last month, I was jealous and insecure because of the admirations of a laundry maid. I hardly doubt that I am perfect.”

“That was nothing, that was-”

“Enough!” I said, feeling a tinge of frustration at his bull-headedness. “I am the Princess of the Sun, ruler of a mighty kingdom. I have lived for many years, seen and done many things,” I told him. “Yet there I was, turned green with jealousy because of the affections of a young girl for no reason. That is very poor form for anyone, particularly a Princess.”

Ford kept silent, perhaps agreeing but too irritated to admit it aloud.

“I understand your standards. To aim for perfection at all times is what we should all do,” I counseled him. “But do not be surprised if you falter. And when you do, simply chalk it up to experience and learn from it. Failure is a far better teacher than success could ever hope to be.”

Ford gave a sigh, his body releasing the tension pent up within. “I’m sorry, Celestia,” he whispered. “That was…”

“Poor form of you?” I said, kissing him gently on the cheek. “You will do better the next time. One mistake does not make me think any less of you.”

He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze of thanks. “I have never seen this place before,” he remarked, releasing himself from my arms and walking about. “What did you hope for me to see?”

I showed him around my beloved hall, eager for him to see the world above that I so ardently adored.

July 19th, the Year MCCCXLV

He is gorgeous.

Oh heaven, I wish I could erase that. Sort of.

This is embarrassing. I am certainly capable of more self-control than this! Aren’t I?

It’s not something so easily forgotten, seeing as it was a sort of ‘first’ for me. Not in the sense that I haven’t bore witness to the physical aspect- the physique- the look of a man-

I’m not doing a very good job of handling this. Perhaps I should let this night close out, for I certainly seem incapable of self-control right now, perhaps because I am more aroused than I care to admit-

I am retiring for the night, and may heaven grant me a cure to this girlish foolishness!

July 20th, the Year MCCCXLV

I am, at the very least, calmer than I was last night. To say that it relieves me of embarrassment, however, would be false. I am not sure what overtook me.

Ford is outside my door, standing watch as dutifully as the night he first kissed me. I hope he is in better spirits than he was that night. I would be willing to believe he is quite tired from yesterday’s events.

Oh heaven, I can feel it within me again. This is not my proudest moment. I believed I possessed more self-control than this. Instead, here I am, positively making a fool of myself. At least I am more controlled than when it began.

Where to begin…

The Royal Guard conducted a series of sparring drills and duels yesterday morning, wishing to take advantage of a somewhat cooler day than normal. A fair wind had blown from the north and helped to settle the temperature and Captain Hearth Fire believed it would be an ideal opportunity to take advantage of. To have so many of the Guard unavailable at once required my word of approval, but I saw no reason for my best soldiers to fall behind on training. I agreed, while two veteran soldiers were left as my guards for the Day Court.

The day went well, the relief from the prolonged heat rousing the good spirits of those who came to visit. I was given forewarning that a new delegate from the Griffon Kingdom was on his way, however. He will be here in five days, giving me time to prepare. I wonder what has caused this unexpected arrival.

As Day Court continued, it seemed many of the visitors and nobles that came to pay court were easily resolved. By mid-afternoon the Day Court had seen all visitors, resolved all inquiries. I suddenly found myself with little to do, and thankfully little paperwork as follow-up. It was a rare day that I did not have mounds of parchment awaiting my hand.

My mind turned to Captain Hearth Fire’s planned combat training. It had been some time since I had seen any of my soldiers in action, particularly those of the Royal Guard. It would be good to see the level of skill they possessed once more. I turned to my guards and requested they accompany me and the three of us went down to the barracks courtyard.

The event was larger than I had expected, several off-duty soldiers of the Solar Guard somehow finding their way into the events. Ford explained to me once of the inter-unit rivalries that formed, a way to continuously keep the Guard well-trained and sharp. I hadn’t expected it to be so popular- perhaps I still underestimated my men.

Hearth Fire was the first to notice I had arrived, his cry echoing across the courtyard as all present bowed before me.

“As you were, soldiers,” I called, “I mean no interruption.”

“Is everything well, Your Majesty?” Hearth Fire asked of me.

“Certainly. I am merely hoping I can observe your training,” I explained. “It has been some time since I’ve last seen the Solar Guard in combat. I hope they’re keeping up nicely.”

“They are, Your Majesty, your Solar Guard remains well-trained,” Hearth Fire reported. “As we continued, several other factions requested to participate, and our training has become a sort of trial-by-fire. Your Solar Guard has fared quite well against their brothers.” He turned back to the awaiting group of Guards. “Alright, the Princess will be observing your performance. So give it your all- and watch what you say!”

A pair of soldiers stepped forward, bearing the colors of the red sun- the City Guard, keepers of the Canterlot Walls. “We request a duel against the Royal Guard.”

Hearth Fire stared out at his group of soldiers, perhaps mulling over his choices. “Sergeant Coal, Private Ford- center ring!”

I perked up at the sound of his name, watching as Ford and his mentor came to the circle. Ford looked considerably younger than both of his opponents, fresh-faced and clean compared to the weathered appearances of the City Guard.

“Alright gentlemen, what are the terms?” Hearth Fire asked.

“May the Judge decide,” Sergeant Coal replied.

“May the Judge decide!” Hearth Fire proclaimed, eliciting calls of excitement from the crowd. He brought forth a small pouch from his hip, plunging his hand in and extracting a series of marks. “The first mark is… combative trial! The second… Submission trial! The third… hand-to-hand!”

The crowd of soldiers were eager, fiery as the terms were settled. I admit, I at first didn’t understand until Hearth Fire leaned and whispered to me their meaning. “They will fight rather than display who has better skills, Your Majesty,” he said. “To the Submission means that would be to disarm or cause your opponent to tap out. They will fight with their hands, rather than with a blade.”

“Will they come to any serious harm?” I asked, feeling somewhat unsure for Ford. He did not appear as burly or well-built as his opponents, or even his team-mate.

“They will certainly be sore, but they will not come to any real harm,” Hearth Fire answered. “Some bruises perhaps, but little more.” He turned back to the awaiting crowd. “You have one minute to prepare!”

To my surprise, the four men began to relieve themselves of their armor, setting it aside and going down to their bare clothes. Ford and Sergeant Coal looked at one another, nodded, and proceeded to relieve themselves of their shirts, eliciting a cry of excitement from the crowd of soldiers that bore the green sun of the Outer Wall.

I am sincerely glad that no one was paying me any heed, for I surely gave an audible gasp at the sight of Ford, who had taken me quite by surprise. He was unblemished to the touch, his body beautifully crafted, well-toned and fit. He bore no signs of damage or wear at all. True, his frame was simple- but sleek, cut and fleet rather than bulky or ironshod. Perhaps it was because I already fancied him, but suddenly I found myself caring about little else but the sight of him.

Hearth Fire began to laugh next to me under his breath. “The Outer Wall strikes again,” he remarked to me. “Barbarians, but such fighters! You will have a sight to see, Your Majesty.”

“Pardon?” My voice was breathless, hardly a whisper. I could barely keep my eyes off of Ford. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized that I was easily giving myself away- I needed to regain control immediately!

I do not remember much of his first fight, only that Ford and Sergeant Coal won their duel. They were challenged again, this time by some of their former companions on the Outer Wall. Having regained some semblance of self-control, I was able to observe in a more subdued fashion. Ford and Sergeant Coal won handily, the two having a seamless teamwork that helped them. Ford was faster, more fleet of foot and quicker on the draw, but did not possess the power that his partner did. When one began to struggle, the other would jump in to aid him.

The third came, this one against other members of the Royal Guard. Ford and Sergeant Coal won once more, but struggled. They were more evenly matched than the rounds before, but eventually won out. The two were impressive. At least I believe so. Part of me kept replaying the image of Ford through my mind until it seemingly dominated my thoughts.

“Thank you for letting me observe, Captain,” I told to Hearth Fire, rising to my feet.

“You’re certainly welcome, Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire said with a bow. “I hope you find your soldiers to be well-trained.”

I nodded and quickly departed, heading to my chambers so I could be alone and find a way to get a grip on my rapidly deteriorating composure. That was much closer than I had meant to be- what thought I had next I do not know, as the sight of Ford’s unblemished body continued to surface in my mind over and over.

The end of my duties came and I forced myself to leave my bedroom, departing for the parapet where I would lower the sun. As I watched the sun fall, I peered down into the courtyard, seeing that the boisterous crowd of soldiers had long dissipated. I wondered how Ford was doing now, and how his body had fared. Not a single blow had been held back.

I walked down the hallways to where I would dine and saw, to my delight, Ford walking through the corridor- and bearing a brilliant black eye.

Without thinking, I grabbed hold of him and pulled him into a secluded corner. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” he laughed, his voice extremely worn. “I am merely exhausted, that is all. Sergeant Coal and I had several more rounds after you left and-”

I cut him off with a kiss, so strong and passionate that I felt the breath in his lungs flee from him. I held him tight until, several moments later, I finally released him, somehow dissatisfied.

“Whoa,” Ford breathed, looking up at me with stars in his eyes.

I kissed him again and departed, worrying that I was about to lose self-control entirely. I returned to my chambers and stayed there, declining to eat lest I make a fool of myself once more.

I have never felt anything like that moment, before or since. Such strong passions- and so difficult to control! I am not sure I wish to feel it again, unless I am secluded with Ford- or very, very alone.

July 24th - July 25th, the Year MCCCXLV

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July 24th, the Year MCCCXLV

The day has been long. The lead ambassador of the Griffin Kingdom conducted a formal visit today, bringing forth news that has unsettled me.

For the past several months, there have been incidents both in our borders and within the Griffin Kingdom that have raised animosity between our two nations. Early in the year, a married couple that were of my kingdom-transplants that had rehomed themselves in the Griffon Kingdom- had been in the capital city and were attacked by a group of local nationalists, leaving the pair beaten and killed. I was given assurances that the attacking group had been sufficiently punished, but when the news made its way across the seas to our shores, sentiments against the Griffon Kingdom began to rise. To my immense displeasure, a business owned by a Griffon Kingdom immigrant was attacked and burned down in Manehatten by a drunken man who heard of the initial attack and decided to retaliate.

Since then, it seems to have grown into genuine animosity. I received criticism for what considered a ‘soft’ response to the Griffon Kingdom’s initial attack. I hoped that a conciliatory measure –a harsh prison sentence for the offense in Manehatten- would be enough to keep sentiments at rest. Instead, the wave of disdain for my people began to rise across the seas. There were a series of violent attacks over several months- no deaths, but many were left severely injured, or their homes or businesses burned down. When I requested a formal investigation into the events, I was simply given the response that the Equestrian immigrants had been found to be guilty of criminal conspiracy, or charged with domestic terrorism.

Here in our borders, visitors from the Griffon Kingdom and what immigrants that have made their way here have been openly disruptive. Those among them who committed genuine crimes were arrested, but many are visitors- the Griffon Kingdom requested they be extradited and tried on their own borders. They attempted to do the same with those who immigrated here, but I personally saw to the end of that scheme. Whoever considers themselves to be a member of my kingdom is ours to deal with- no matter the land of their birth.

The criticism from some of the noblemen and law enforcement of the kingdom has been harsh. Many believe I am trying to kowtow to the Griffon Kingdom in an attempt to keep the peace, and in so doing have made us look weak. Also that I am doing little to protect the lives of our people across the shores, and are allowing violence against our own who should travel under the protection of the Equestrian crown.

I have no wish to allow Equestria to be bullied about by the Griffon Kingdom. Travel warnings were issued two months ago for those who would go across the seas, but once they go beyond our borders, my authority does end. Common sense and the laws of other nations do matter, despite what others may think. However, the rumors of political violence by my own within the Griffon Kingdom are suspect to me. Some may indeed be true, if they behave similarly to our culprit from Manehatten- but the Griffon Kingdom’s pride has been injured, and that has put them on alert to any possible unrest, even if it means taking anything as a potential threat. I believe many of the arrests are on fabricated or flimsy evidence.

Today, the head ambassador for the Griffon Kingdom visited us, a man named Lord Arbor. He brought word from King Peregrine that the political unrest within his borders has grown, and many of his noblemen are averse to giving any further sanctuary or residence to my people, having branded the Equestrian people as a “political danger to the throne.”

I do my best to keep my own pride in check, but I took offense that the suggestion that my kingdom was deliberately trying to be subordinate. Our relations with the Griffon Kingdom have been strong for many years, I have no desire to see it erode.

Lord Arbor gave warning that if the issue persists, then all travel between the two nations would be formally shut down, and those within the kingdom would be considered “intentional insurrectionists.”

I rose to my feet, a true anger flowing within me. I reminded Lord Arbor that their kingdom depended heavily upon us for trade, particularly for crops and specialized sustenance, and that any threat against my people would end all trade immediately, and without exception.

Lord Arbor has already departed to the shores, eager to report to his king. Those who remain are left to deal with is pronouncements, and to do what we can to prevent the potential repercussions. I cancelled Day Court and called for a formal meeting of my council so as to discuss the unfolding events.

Our problem lies in that the Griffon Kingdom is much larger than us in terms of population, particularly that of their military. We are larger in size, but much of Equestria is farmland rather than formal cities, and the Royal Guard –both mine and Luna’s- are not meant to be a standing army. We are well-trained, but unequipped to deal with a full-scale conflict.

Our immediate consensus was that a travel ban be immediately placed on the Griffon Kingdom, and all those who were visiting the kingdom to be recalled home. I can do little for those who immigrated there, they having pledged their allegiances to their new kingdom.

It was Lord Saulbrook, a former captain of the Outer Wall, who requested what was to be done in regards to those from the Griffon Kingdom who are already in our borders.

“We will not treat them differently than we do now,” I said. “We will not incite them, nor give the Griffon Kingdom reason to believe we hold hostility against their people.”

“So we are to do nothing?” Lord Saulbrook asked.

“I will request that Luna’s Night Guard perform investigations into any potential threats,” I told him. “Those that are worthy of it will be kept under surveillance. However, we will not attack, banish, or exile any who are unworthy of it. I refuse for paranoia to take hold of us.”

“That is all well and good, Your Majesty, but the people are already positioned against them,” said Lord Albany, a former mayor of Manehatten. “Manehatten has a large population of Griffon Kingdom immigrants, as does Vanhoover. Their tendency to stick together has made them an easy target for attacks and abuse. If they do not feel threatened already, then they certainly will soon. It is only a matter of time before the national population retaliates in some manner.”

“Do you consider it inevitable?” I asked him.

“I consider it likely, Your Majesty,” Lord Albany answered. “Manehatten is very loyal to you, they will protect their own against whatever they consider a threat.”

I sighed, rising to my feet. “I will speak with my sister in regard to this matter,” I declared. “Return to your cities, find out what is happening within our own borders and do what must be done to keep the peace. What happens in the Griffon Kingdom is a concern, but we must do what we can to ensure we are absolved of blame here.”

My council will be departing in the morning. I pray that no ill tidings can be found.

July 25th, the Year MCCCXLV

Ford visited me today. A quiet meeting, one that he requested. It is strange to think- he initiated contact with me first all those months ago, yet not once since has he been the one to reach out to me. It was refreshing to hear him desire me- even if it only be my presence.

We met in the astrellarium once more, the cover of darkness bringing a shelter to our solitude. It is hard to feel alone when I have him nearby; he is a comfort in the loneliness of night, a gentle hand in the quiet of night.

We said little, merely taking comfort in the presence of one another. I knew no true words to say for some time, merely letting his hand and his lips speak for us both. I felt my heart flutter at his touch, my skin turn to goosebumps at his hands. A hunger, a whispering, aching thing, set me afire. I knew no cure to my restlessness.

“Let me feel your hair,” he said to me, gently braiding his fingers through the many colors. “Even as a boy, I wondered what it would feel like on my skin. Please…”

“You hardly have to ask,” I told him, joyous at the sight of his delight. His every feature glowed as my hair wove through his hands, the touch of his skin against my head delightful. He was gentle, soft, and slow.

Ford settled himself behind me, taking a tighter hold against my hair. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said, likely feeling my body tense at the pull. “I want to braid it. I’ve never seen you with anything but plain hair. I wonder what you’ll look like without it.”

I laughed softly, knowing he was right. I wore it simply, letting it naturally fall across my shoulders. I had never felt a need to change it, nor had a reason to. My hair was a sign of ownership; I belonged to my kingdom and it to me.

Ford sat quietly behind me, his fingers delicate and gentle as he worked. He wove in and out, back and forth and in between as his hands glided gracefully through my hair, his unconventional canvas. I didn’t dare move, craving his touch the more his hands brushed against me. That echoing hunger within me only grew stronger, and I knew no way of stopping it.

“Tell me something, Ford,” I said.

“Anything you wish,” he replied.

“Have you heard the word from across the seas?” I asked.

He continued his work, gently twining my hair into woven locks. “Yes, I have,” he answered. “Captain Hearth Fire alerted us to the issue. All the Solar Guard stand ready to fight for you, if need be… rest assured.”

“I have no fear of my men’s cowardice,” I said lightly, a hint of a smile upon my face. “I trust you more than to ever dream of that.”

“Then what do you ask of me?” he inquired. “To die for you? I have already sworn to do that.”

“I ask you for your opinion.”

He paused in his work. “Oh? And on what”

“You study war,” I said. “You breathe it, learn to fight in its fog and miasma. The Griffon Kingdom- if we go to war, do you truly think we would win?”

Ford continued in his work, remaining silent. “Do you mean we soldiers on our own, or with greater stock at our side?” he said.

“Please answer however you see fit,” I replied.

Ford pressed on, his hands slowing as he thought. “The Solar Guard is brave, and would fight no matter what end, Princess,” he said deliberately. “We are well-trained, resourceful. We know how to fight. But without your strength, your power- your sister’s, the Crystal Princess, your protégé… I do not believe we would survive.”

“And if we fight with you?” I asked.

“We would still suffer,” he said. “The Griffon Kingdom fights with tactics seen nowhere else in the world. Their weapons are for hand-to-hand combat, as well as to fend off blades of all kinds. They are difficult to plan against.”

“Do you believe you would die?”

He tugged at a curl in my hair before answering. “I believe I would go when my time comes,” he answered. “Whenever that may be, as long as it if before your own.”

“Don’t say such things,” I said quickly, reaching for his hand. “Not tonight.”
“I’ll stay silent, then,” Ford said, returning to his work. “It is a beautiful night tonight. Your sister should be proud.”

He soon left afterwards, weariness overcoming my champion. With a kiss farewell he was gone, disappearing into the dark.

I returned to my room and soon found myself in front of a mirror, admiring his handiwork. My typically straight hair was an intricately woven braid, beautiful at sight; waves fell onto my shoulders, petering out into ringlets as they came to an end. His work was exquisite.

Oh Ford, please believe you would live. You have become so much a part of my life that I do not know if I could let you go.

August 6th - August 31st, the Year MCCCXLV

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August 6th, the Year MCCCXLV

There has been flooding in Appleloosa and much of the desert badlands for three days now. A weather system has been moving slowly across the region, and the drought that has carried on through most of the summer has made the area vulnerable. Four people have been killed due to flash flooding.

Damage to homes and towns has, thankfully, been minimal. But many farms and ranches have been severely damaged with entire plantations and fields being washed out by the heavy rains. Some of my people have lost everything they own.

Whatever aid can be given for relief has been sent. Luna’s troops are maintaining curfew for now, as well as keeping watch on water levels. Those of my forces in the area are working as part of rescue crews, aiding those who have become stranded or injured by flooding and debris. As soon as the flooding has ceased and the rains dissipate, I will be making my way there to examine the region myself, as well as say farewell to those lost. It will not be a happy day.

August 11th, the Year MCCCXLV

I was finally able to visit Appleloosa today and survey the damage. I hadn’t expected it to be quite so severe. To make matter worse, there is a distinct possibility that some of the damage may have been intentional.

I arrived early this morning, having raised the sun and promptly left Canterlot, along with Hearth Fire and a trio of his hand-picked soldiers as guards. Ford remained behind at the palace, making this one of the few times in recent months we have not been near to one another.

We were forewarned in regards to the heat, as Appleloosa is not known for a temperate climate. The typically arid desert was humid and stank of filth, the destruction caused by flooding churning the badlands into a nigh-traversable marsh. It was not a pleasant sight to bear witness to.

Appleloosa is almost totally gone, along with much of her surrounding orchards. Entire farms have been washed away. Seeing the once-vibrant region, the last jewel before the harshness of the desert, now turned to disarray and shattered trees is disheartening. Speaking to some of the farmers here is worse; many do not know how they will survive the eventual winter now that their crops, as well as their farmland, has been destroyed.

“The dam at the end of the valley should have held the floodwaters in,” I was told by Hearth Fire. “I don’t understand it. Nothing here in the region should have been so badly hit.”

“What is the condition of the dam?” I asked.

“Totally destroyed,” reported the Mayor, a man known as Wild Hank. “I agree with your Guard, Your Majesty, the dam should not have fallen. It is only a year old, meant to be an aquifer for the valley.”

“I wish to see it,” I said. “Take me to it.”

We bid our goodbyes to the farmers and made our way east, following the trail of heavier devastation. As we approached, various bits of concrete, steel and rebar could be seen jutting through the mud and debris- remnants of what was once a mighty structure. When we came close, the damage was not all that apparent- primarily because the dam itself wasn’t there.

“Heaven above, how could just a few days of flooding do this?” Hearth Fire muttered, looking at the vast chasm with distrust. “No dam should fall so easily, especially one as modern as the one placed here.”

“You said it was a year old, Mayor Hank,” I said, turning to the distraught politician. “Were there any issues during its construction? They would have been reported to you.”

“None that I know of, Your Majesty,” he replied. “It was a government contract from a company that is highly reputable. The Rainbow Falls Dam was built by the same men, this should not have happened.”

“Was the dam near the point of overflow prior to the storms?” I asked.

“No, Your Majesty, when the storms began I checked with the team manning the dam,” Wild Hank answered. “We were at tolerable levels. Besides, even if the dam were to overflow, it would be done in a controlled flow, not as a mass cascade of water. The entire project was built to the highest standards of safety.”

“Where is the operating team that was in charge the night it fell?”

Mayor Hank gave a sigh and pointed to the massive detritus that was once the Appleloosa valley. “We haven’t found them yet, Your Majesty,” he answered. “The control room for the dam was destroyed when the dam itself fell. We haven’t yet found the bodies, and the three men who were on watch that night are among the approximately twenty still missing.”

“Assign an investigative team to the matter,” I commanded. “When the results are complete, send them to me. Begin looking at records of guesthouses and hotels in the area as well, any unusual visitors that could be remembered. Also check the records of convicted felons that were in the area, anyone who could be considered suspect.”

“You believe this was an intentional disaster?” Hearth Fire asked.

“Neglect or sabotage,” I replied. “Either way, there is no sufficient, natural explanation that can be found here. We continue with the recovery efforts, and let the investigation commence. We will act further from there.”

I returned to Canterlot with Hearth Fire that evening, both of us now only able to play the waiting game. There is little else to be done until the results of the investigative team’s efforts come forth.

August 24th, the Year MCCCXLV

Sabotage. Records from the dam’s operational crew that survived indicate no abnormal stress on the structure, or any sort of growing deficiency that could cause the large-scale damage. It is suspected that small charges were placed along the structure to destabilize it and allow for the water to naturally break the wall and flood the valley.

Four suspects have been named in the investigation, one local man with a criminal record for intimidation and domestic violence, three visitors from other regions- only one from out of country. It is not difficult to guess where he hails from.

All will be brought in for questioning the moment we have hold of them. Unfortunately, none can be found. They may have died in the flooding, and then the lead will be lost forever. If they are still alive, then we might have a chance to know what caused this.

August 25th, the Year MCCCXLV

Two of the suspects have been found dead in the Appleloosa Valley. Our net grows tighter.

Chassis Veist, the one local suspect, was dragged from the wreckage of the Appleloosa Saloon. The other, a Manehatten-born woman known simply as Charity, was pulled alive from the wreckage of the Appleloosa Community Center where several had taken refuge from the flooding. She was severely dehydrated and found mortally injured. She made inquiries as to the wellbeing of her family back in Manehatten before passing.

Only two left- one of them being our Griffon Kingdom visitor, who has seemingly disappeared into the wilds. For all we know, our suspect was killed in the flooding and we merely follow two innocent men on a wild goose chase. But if the suspected saboteur remains alive, then the hunt remains on.

August 26th, the Year MCCCXLV

One suspect eliminated from the list. Found alive in a logging community South of Vanhoover.

Leiff Woodson, a middle-aged logger had been visiting Appleloosa that weekend to attend his daughter’s wedding to a local rancher. Woodson departed not long after the storm entered the region, returning to the isolated town of Foal’s Fury where he works with the local lumber company.

He came quietly when he was brought in for investigation. He seemed amiable, through gruff and decidedly uncouth, according to the questioners. He admitted that there had been underlying tension between him and his daughter, as the distance between Appleloosa and Foal’s Fury is considerable and Woodson has growing arthritic issues that make it difficult for him to travel. However, he attended the wedding as a gesture of concession and peace, and gave a generous sum of money to the newlyweds before departing that evening.

I believe he is telling the truth, as do my pair of investigators who questioned him. He is a vouched for citizen with a solid alibi, as well as good standing in his community as a hardworking man and upstanding citizen. He is dropped from the list unless the need arises to bring him in once more.

That means we must focus on our one last suspect, the one who still has not been found- and, if I must admit so, the one I have been wary of all along. Keres Faal, a Griffon Kingdom immigrant who has been in the country for three months on temporary visa. He has spent considerable time in Dodge City, but went west to Appleloosa for unknown motives and resided at the Appleloosa Grand Hotel before departing the morning after flooding began, simply checking out and giving no clue as to his next destination.

His residency in Dodge City has been thoroughly searched, and show no signs of recent vacancy, leading us to believe he has not returned home- and may not have any intent of doing so.

A manhunt is underway, searching across every city until he is found. Luna’s Night Guard is roaming the countryside in the hopes they find him first. Tips and notices have been posted in every major city. If Faal is still somewhere in Equestria, it is only a matter of time before he is found.

August 28th, the Year MCCCXLV

We have him. Faal was captured early this morning at a secluded harbor in Baltimare, trying to gain passage on a merchant vessel headed for the Griffon Kingdom. A massive team of Guards was forced to take him in, as Faal gave heavy resistance when he was discovered. Armed with several low-level explosives he managed to keep himself in a standoff for about an hour, killing one of my soldiers, a fresh-faced recruit named Theo Cail.

Faal is not in quality condition at the moment, the soldiers on the scene dealing severe damage to him out of a vengeful rage against him for the death of one of their brethren. While I do not condone the action, I am not surprised by the action. Even if Faal is innocent of breaching the dam (which is unlikely), he has not displayed any innocent character to aid his defense. It is likely he will spend much of his life in prison.

Faal is currently being held in a high-security location in Baltimare, and tomorrow he will be brought here for questioning. For now, brave Theo Cail needs to be mourned and honored. One more death added to a growing list…

August 29th, the Year MCCCXLV

Faal arrived late last night, discreetly brought in when the majority of the populace would be off the streets so as to avoid detection. As hated as he is, we do not want to risk further injury to a man we need alive. The information he has may be critical to further investigation, and whatever follows. I fear that the storm of war is beginning to brew, and Faal may be the one who has set plans in motion.

Captain Hearth Fire and I were present as Faal was escorted to the dungeons by Ford and Sergeant Coal. Never have I seen Ford so disgusted, the anger towards the man he brought was palpable. It is no surprise that my soldiers hold such disdain towards him. One of their own fell by Faal’s hand; it will be difficult to keep him safe, so I now consider whether the Royal Guard should be the one to keep him under watch until his trial begins.

Hearth Fire was the first to inform me that Faal wanted to talk. I was deeply involved in a matter in the Day Court when I was told, so I discreetly cancelled all future visits for the day before descending into the palace depths where our prisoner lay. When I arrived, I could see my guard captain was in no mood for pleasantries.

“If you would be willing, I could run him through here and now,” he offered, giving me no greeting at the sight of me.

“What is his condition?”
“As bruised and battered as he deserves, Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire reported. “He is awake and conscious, however- heaven knows no madman could conjure the curses he has.”

The moment the dungeon doors opened I could hear the man ranting and raving, the Griffon tongue thrashing wildly about in the air as Faal unleashed a volley of curses and insults so vile I had never heard the likes of them. As I came into view of his cell he turned his eyes towards me, becoming incensed and turning into a violent rage.

“He refuses to speak in Equestrian tongue, Your Majesty,” Ford reported, his eyes flickering towards the unwanted prisoner. “I don’t understand a word he says, but I’d be willing to bet it isn’t anything pleasant.”

“Thank you, Private,” Hearth Fire replied. “Stand by. “We have need of him.”

“Do you need me to unlock his cell, Sir?” Ford asked.

Hearth Fire considered the thought before shaking his head. “Keep him where he is. Let him be uncomfortable.” Turning to the deranged Griffon, he listened as Faal continued his stream of curses.

“We will get nowhere with him in a rage like this,” I told Hearth Fire, listening as Faal continued on his rampage. “He needs to calm down.”

Hearth Fire snapped at Faal in the Griffon tongue, asking him for what he knew. Faal replied with a volley of curse and insults, many of them directed towards me.

Hearth Fire sighed. “I tried, Your Majesty,” he said wearily. “Do you think this is a good idea?”

“Not at all,” I replied, listening as Faal called me a child of the King’s dogs, and that the whole world would one day swear loyalty to the king of the Griffon Kingdom. “Tell your king that he can do better,” I yelled, speaking in Faal’s tongue so that he could not pretend to misunderstand me.

Faal paused, evidently displeased at my understanding. “She speaks it,” he snarled, finally speaking in Equestrian tongue. “What pleasure do I owe thee?”

“None but the truth, murderer,” I said, my disgust rising to my lips. Faal was truly a disgusting individual, greasy to the eye and unpleasantries evident in his words. While I could not openly accuse him for the destruction of the Appleloosa dam, I already knew him to be a killer of my soldiers. “You were here in my country as per my graces. You have already shown yourself to be unworthy of it.”

“Then do me the favor and relieve me of it,” he said sarcastically, leaning back on his bunk. “Unworthy queen of an unworthy people. Why are you here?”

“To know the truth,” I said. “You were there when the dam broke, weren’t you?”

“I was in Appleloosa. Dodge City disliked me that day,” he replied.

“Where you there at the dam?”

“I visited it.”

“You witnessed something unusual.”

“I witnessed a stupid people do stupid things, for a stupid princess who asks stupid questions,” Faal answered. “I have heard better words from the mouth of chicks. Leave me unless you have something worthwhile to say, worm.”

Ford, who had remained silent all this time, jabbed his spear through the bars of the prison cell at Faal. “Hold your tongue, disgusting wretch! Know to whom you speak or else I slit your throat!”

“Hold your temper, soldier!” Hearth Fire commanded. “Now is not the time.”

Faal laughed at it all. “What a weak nation,” he said. “No wonder you are desired to be destroyed. You deserve it.”

“Why did you blow the dam?” I asked. “What is your King trying to prove? We have been allies and friends for many years, what is worth risking open war?”

“I have no idea of what you speak,” Faal replied. “Let your people sort themselves out. Your disasters are your own fault.”

We tried to ply him with further questions, but came up short. Hearth Fire and I admitted defeat and left, and now we are still at the same place we were before. We have no information, no confession, and no further plan.

Due to matters of law, I have to inform King Peregrine of Faal’s imprisonment, seeing as Faal is not a citizen of Equestria yet. I hope no ill tidings will come of it.

August 31st, the Year MCCCXLV

Keres Faal is dead, found deceased in his cell early this morning. The guard had been in the midst of changeover when the discovery occurred. An internal investigation is occurring, though Hearth Fire does not believe any of his soldiers would commit such an act.

Faal, after examination by the coroner, was declared dead by poisoning, leading us to believe it was transmitted via his food. Seeing as it would not be difficult to poison the prison meals, leads are limited, and suspects are multiple.

My letter to King Peregrine of Faal’s imprisonment will now be of his death. I fear that this will lead to far worse tidings.

September 14th - September 20th, the Year MCCCXLV

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September 14th, the Year MCCCXLV

The summer is slowly, but surely coming to an end. The relentless heat that has plagued us this summer is finally winding down. The nights are cooler, and the humidity of the day has lessened. Rain is not a constant, thankfully, but enough to keep the water sources well nourished. I am pleased to see the need disappear.

And more importantly, Ford has been promoted! He’s a Corporal now, a beginner leader of soldiers! He’s come so far, and to be so strong and trusted! I couldn’t be more proud, he’s done wonderfully, he’s amazing, he’s-

I am getting ahead of myself. Truly I should be more reserved, but I find myself losing focus at the thought of him now. I am not sure how much longer I can hold on.

Ford has been on consideration for a month now, ever since the start of August. He and two others were put on list for the promotion, their first major promotion in the service. As much as I wanted to influence the decision, I remained neutral. I knew Ford would be offended if he did not make it on his own merits, so I forced myself to remain withdrawn from the process until Hearth Fire was certain of it.

He came to me at the start of the month, presenting me his decision and wanting my approval. Although I wanted to give it immediately, I had to feign ignorance for the sake of Ford’s protection.

“Private Ford… he is one of our newer members, is he not?” I asked.

“Yes, Your Majesty, he is new to the Royal Guard. He arrived with Sergeant Coal back in late March, if you may recall,” Hearth Fire explained. “He has been in the service for a year now, a time when he would be initially considered for the promotion by every battalion. I believe he is worthy of it.”

“What makes you consider him first and foremost?” I demanded.
“He is a fine soldier, Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire answered. “He has strong morale no matter the situation, and he knows his craft incredibly well. I have rarely seen one so adept for combat- and any other skill that requires him. He throws himself into every task he is given. Not only that, but he is a good influence on those around him, inspiring them to greater heights. I believe that, if give greater authority, he would be a positive influence on the Royal Guard. He has great potential.”

I pretended to consider it for some time, though I fully well knew what answer I would give. “Very well,” I pretended to decide “Tomorrow afternoon when the sun is high, Private Ford is to be promoted. Let him know, please.”

“Yes, Your Majesty, thank you,” Hearth Fire said, giving a flourished bow and departing. When he left, it was all I could do to stop myself from crying out in happiness.

The promotion occurred this afternoon, all of the Royal Guard bearing witness to Ford’s excellence. After the ceremony, he was well received by his fellows- a string indicator that many believe and trust in the decision that has been made. I could not have made a better choice, even if I was biased. Ford is a strong, capable, and efficient soldier. Now, he is a leader of soldiers.

I found him in the halls this evening, giving him a quick, quiet kiss of congratulations for his excellence, another as a reward for his hard work, and another because I wanted him to know I was proud of him. I left before I could grant further rewards, I beginning to realize that I truly did not want to stop.

The hunger within me, the one that began at the sight of his unblemished body, has not lessened or faded away. It has returned with a veangeance, and now it simply settles within my stomach like a virus. I do not know how long I can bear it. My body yearns for him in ways I did not know possible.

Oh heavens, help me to hold on a little while longer.

September 16th, the Year MCCCXLV

Dear sister, you are an idiot, and your boyfriend is a delusional pinhead.

~Luna

September 17th, the Year MCCCXLV

Luna, stay out of my diary. Seeing as it was a gift from you, I believe you should understand the continued gift of privacy. Do not do such a thing again.

Ha! Make me, you boy-crazed nymphomaniac. Have the dignity to be ashamed of yourself.

~Luna

September 18th, the Year MCCCXLV

Luna, I know where you live, and I know you’re deathly terrified of centipedes. How would it be if you suddenly found a three-foot-long centipede in your bed every morning?

Now leave my diary and talk to me like a normal human being. Stop being angry that I am seeing someone.

Fine. But if he breaks your heart, I will kill him. My only warning.

~Luna

September 19th, the Year MCCCXLV

Oh heavens above, if only I could have a normal sister! Intentionally irritating to the last degree and nothing that I can do to stop it. I love Luna dearly, but I sometimes wonder if she goes out of her way to be an immature nuisance.

The incident that brought her to me occurred the day after Ford had been promoted … and yes, I must admit, probably some of the fault lies with me. Only somewhat. Luna has much blame to bear and I still consider it due to her being rude and overly invasive.

I had quietly asked for Ford to visit me the night he was honored, that vast, irredeemable hunger that I could not satisfy seemingly wearing through my bones. I could not focus on anything except his face, his voice, his magnificent body-

And here I go once more. I must really learn to calm myself through less… conspicuous ways. I am not proud of it. Well, I am somewhat proud. At least a little.

He arrived, well-groomed and relaxed in countenance, that pride he wore the moment he had been upheld still lingered on his face. I beckoned him to the balcony where I stood and we talked of the day, I gladly listening as he discussed the future that lay ahead for him. Ford was excited, passionate about his work. It was a delight to see, and I could hardly tear my eyes away from him. My hand rested upon his shoulder- until I suddenly found it had moved south, resting around his waist. I could not bear to let him out of reach.

Ford noticed something amiss, and saw my own countenance had changed. He seemed concerned, at least until I kissed him. Then again, and again, that wild hunger consuming me like nothing ever had. He put his arms around me and I melted, unable to stand it any longer.

I closed the windows and took him to my bed, ensuring that our world was private, for us and us alone. I held him, I…

I made love to him. The only thing that could satisfy that incurable hunger, the passion and emotion I have buried for weeks finally finding its release as I took him. It was like nothing I had ever felt.

Our world changed that night. Suddenly, as soon as we broke apart, we realized something irreversible had occurred. A path had been struck, and there was no going back now. I still do not understand it, but I do not believe I regret it and neither does he.

We rested together till the dawn came, he discreetly slipping away through a window and out of sight, I bidding him farewell- and granting him a request to return the next night, my hunger still not fully satisfied.

Unfortunately, our privacy was not so adequate that second night.

The entire day seemed to be plagued with issues and near-misses. Every time I would stop for a word, a small greeting, someone would be walking up to our hideaway and I was forced to disappear. Every gesture and gift Ford tried to grace me with was promptly stowed away from prying eyes. The difficulties we faced simply being around one another should have been the indication of worse things to come.

Ford slipped into my chambers late that night, I casting a silencing spell on the door when I found him. We did not hesitate this time around, simply falling into each other’s arms and carrying on as though the night before had never ended.

And then, quite literally out of nowhere, there was an ear-splitting Crack! and the darkened figure of my sister appeared at my bed, catching Ford and I- well, heavily distracted.

I do not know what Luna thought was happening or why she even arrived, only that she managed to utter, “Sister, a word” before noticing Ford. She gave a cry of alarm and attacked Ford in an instant, grabbing him by the throat and throwing him to the ground, preparing to drive a blade

“Luna, wait! Stop!” I cried, throwing a barrier between her and Ford, Luna’s knife shattering against it like glass. “Luna, please! Let him go.”

Luna didn’t move, her hand still clutched tightly around Ford’s throat. I could barely see him but the whites of his eyes were apparent even in the darkness, he likely paralyzed by fear and embarrassment. Luna stared at him before looking over to me, I feeling a heat flushing my body as I was still- quite naked. She turned back to Ford and looking at him with obvious distaste.

“Sister, is this what I think it is?” she said, her voice low with fury.

“Perhaps,” I managed, unsure of what to say. “Luna, please, do not-”

“Oh sweet heaven and hell,” Luna said, dropping Ford to the ground in disgust. “Sister, have you lost all of your senses?” Ford was flung to the side by her powers, slamming into the wall with a thud that nearly knocked him senseless.

“Don’t hurt him!” I cried indignantly, tying the sheets around me in a makeshift dress before crossing the room to Ford and helping him to his feet. “Luna what is the meaning of this?”

“Obviously I showed up at the right time to make you start to think!” Luna said. “Are you completely mad or have you tried to throw away everything you have?”

“I have done nothing of the sort, this choice is mine and mine alone,” I replied.

“No choice you make affects just one person, your choices affect the whole world! How can you be so naïve?” Luna fired back.

“My personal life is my own, don’t act like it’s something of yours to judge!” I replied, becoming more heated.

“I have been with you for your whole life, of course I can judge! Why else would I be here now?”

“This isn’t helping!” Ford interjected, noticing the growing dispute between my sister and I.

Luna did not take kindly to his interruption. “You! Filthy, perverted wretch, say another word and I gut you-”

“Don’t speak to him like that!” I practically snarled, incensed at her indifference towards him.

“Oh, he’s special, is he?” Luna sneered. “I do not know what has gotten into you but I promise I will get you out of it.”

“This is solving nothing!” Ford said, his voicing cutting through the argument. “Tonight is over. I will disappear. Both of you will depart, and find another time and place to discuss this. Right now, no one is in any fit state to make some sort of judgement.”

“Especially with your trousers down, disgusting animal,” Luna said, looking over at Ford with loathing. She turned to me, saying, “See you soon,” before disappearing.

I sighed, amazed at how badly one night could go. “You should leave. I’ll let you know what happens.”

Ford said nothing, simply donning his clothes and departing. I have words with Luna tomorrow night. Hopefully that will dispel all further issues.

September 20th, the Year MCCCXLV

To call it a peace would be presumptuous. A truce is the more fitting term, at least for now.

Luna’s aggression towards me is not unjustified, at least not completely. But her anger against Ford has, temporarily, dissipated. Her anger with me may take some time to fall away.

We met as soon as the sun fell, Luna appearing beside me with a resounding Crack! like the one that had exposed Ford and I.

“You’re alone this time,” she said, giving me no greeting.

“You’re not angry,” I remarked in kind.

“I do not try to be. You’re my sister,” Luna said. “I am sorry if I caused you grief.”

I sighed. “Luna, I have no grudge against you,” I told her. “But to make it sound as though the argument is over would be foolish. Speak to me freely.”

“Freely. Of course. Have you gone completely mad?” Luna said, turning to me. “Sister, your duty is to your people, not one man!”

“I know!” I replied. “Do you think I did not consider that when this all began?”

“How long has this been going on?” Luna asked, appearing disconcerted. “This has been brewing for months, hasn’t it?”

“Six months, almost,” I confessed, sensing Luna’s displeasure. “It is a long story.”

“Tonight is the night for long stories,” Luna remarked. “Who is he?”

“One of my Royal Guard. Saber Ford.”

“Did he make the first move, or you?” She was assessing me- both of us, if I was right.

“In a sense, both of us. I tormented him into action.”

“Explain yourself.”

Luna and I settled down as I spoke, telling the story of how Ford’s courtship of me began. Luna remained relatively impassive, only speaking to ask spare questions. She made no indication of her approval or disapproval for some time.

The moon was high in the sky before she made her judgement. “Sister, I love you dearly,” she began. “But that does not mean I condone all your actions. Do you have any idea how this will look if you are ever found out? The world’s esteem of you will be destroyed forever!”

“I know,” I replied. “Ford and I take the measure necessary to ensure secrecy.”

“And what if you are discovered? What do you plan to do? You must know this will eventually happen. Someone may already suspect something!”

“I know.”

“And?”

“I don’t have a plan, Luna!” I told her. “I simply don’t know what would be done. I can’t answer that!”

Luna sighed, burying her face in her hands. “What is the end result of this?” she asked me. “What is the goal? What’s the end result of this?”

“To simply care about him,” I said plainly. “What more does there need to be?”

“You can’t just hold someone’s heart and not expect something to happen because of it,” Luna said. “What if he wants to marry you? Would you have a secret marriage the whole of your life?”

I hesitated, not sure of how to answer.

“And have you forgotten you are immortal and he is not? Sister, he will die someday, all mortals do!”

“I know that!” I replied.

“Then is this worth the pain it will eventually bring?” Luna said, her face showing her concern. “Sister, I do not approve of this. There are too many dangers inherent in your choice, but I will not rat you out. But for me to simply let this happen would be a disservice! You will inevitably have to say goodbye to him, there is no way to avoid that! You and I will be here until the day the very heart of the universe stops beating. But him- he has only years upon his life, a blink of an eye compared to you and me. You will carry his death forever, is that what you want?”

“Of course not!” I said. “But I can’t deny how I feel about him, or he of me! Maybe it was a decision born of foolishness, but he is part of my life as much as you are! To toss him aside now would be cruelty to us both.”

Luna gave a long, despairing sigh. “Sister, this is not something I condone. I can’t. I see no way that this will not bring you suffering. But if you absolutely must have him, do so. I will not reveal your secret.”

“Thank you, Luna,” I said. “It truly does mean a great deal.”

“Just… be mindful, dear sister,” Luna said as she prepared to depart. “It will only be here for the blink of an eye.” Without another word she departed, her words giving me pause as I pondered them.

She is right. Ford is only mortal, and I eternal. Someday, in some way, Ford and I will have to say goodbye.

I don’t want to think of that just now.

October 4th - October 29th, the Year MCCCXLV

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October 1st, the Year MCCCXLV

Is it poor form of me that I have only noticed just how little I know of Ford? We have been together for several months now. I should have inquired of him long before now. I know who he is now, but who he was before he arrived at my door- his home, his family, his dreams and desires… nothing. The only pieces of his past that I know of are in relation to his boyhood infatuation with me and nothing more. His life before this is a complete mystery to me.

He is currently occupied with 24-hour duty, supervising a pair of soldiers as per his duties as an NCO. I am glad that he is being trusted with greater responsibility, but I have played myself for somewhat of a fool. Now he will have more duties, and less opportunity for me to see him. I am sure we will find something of a balance; even Captain Hearth Fire ensures he has time for his wife and children. And, if I am remembering correctly, I am a Princess of Equestria. I am fairly sure that my responsibilities and roles are far larger than his. We will find a way to manage.

… I have just realized that Ford was alone when he was promoted. Typically family and friends are invited to attend, but Ford stood alone as he was pinned. I wonder where his family is, or if they have issues approving his service. I certainly hope not, for he is a wonderful soldier- and someone quite dear to me. I am glad to have him in my life. I do hope that they simply were not able to attend. I would like to meet them, if I ever get the chance.

October 4th, the Year MCCCXLV

Ford and I met today, I inviting him to the mountain springs with me. The fall weather that has begun to take hold lessened its grip this morning, leaving us blessed with a beautiful, comfortable day kissed with sunlight. My weather-tamers tell me it is likely one of the last, as the fall will soon arrived in force. Winter is not far behind any longer, and whatever preparations for the cold must begin immediately to ensure the kingdom thrives.

I found myself somewhat occupied when we met, he happily embracing me, but quickly taking note of my distraction. “Is something the matter?” he asked of me.

“Merely occupied,” I replied. “This month and the next will be a busy time for us all.”

“Fall harvests, right? He asked, I nodding in confirmation. “And winter preparations too, I’m guessing?”

“It will be a chaotic season,” I said. “Fall typically is simply because of what comes after.”

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Not at all,” I said. “We have always found a way to thrive, even in the deepest cold. Equestria is always capable of holding its own.”

Ford said nothing, letting the silence pass between us as we relaxed in the waters of the spring, the rejuvenating flow easing our spirits. “You know that I don’t want to just kiss you and merely be with you,” he said. “You can come talk to me, about anything. I want to hear what’s going through your mind.”

“Even if it’s awful?” I teased.

“Especially so,” he replied. “I know that you probably already know that, but I just wanted to remind you.”

“It’s a good thing to be reminded of,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. “And thank you. I’ll certainly remember you when I need someone to talk to. As long as you remember the same.”

The sun began to creep lower on the horizon and the temperature began to fall, a cool air taking root in the caves. It was time for us to depart and make our way to warmer quarters.

“By the way,” Ford said, drying himself off with a towel, “What became of your sister? I do remember you saying that you talked with her.”

“She is certainly no fan of you,” I said, Ford laughing in reply. “But she has agreed to keep the secret for now.”

“Did she threaten to kill me at any point during the conversation?” he asked.

“How did you know that?”

Ford laughed uproariously. “Her soldiers are ruthless, Celestia. I would have been surprised if she was more reserved than they, particularly after she tried to stab me.”

“I do apologize for that, I hope she didn’t hurt you too greatly,” I said, feeling myself turn red.

Ford shrugged. “Nothing came of it in the end, anyway.”

As we left the tunnels, a group of guards could be seen patrolling the corridors to the castle, blocking us from making our way forward. I quickly hurried Ford back into the tunnels and out of sight before we could be spotted.

“Do we have visitors?” he asked.

“Yes, give me a moment to think it over,” I said, mulling on an idea in my head. “I’m going to try something, but it may not be pleasant. Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

“Take my hand,” I commanded him, my fingers intertwining with his own. “Now hold on.”

With my free hand I gave a sharp Crack! and we disappeared into the ether, reappearing in my chambers in an instant. I stayed steady, but Ford lost his balance and fell to the ground in a heap.

“What did we just do?” he said, clutching his head for dear life.

“Teleported,” I explained, bringing him back to his feet. “I am sorry, I know it can be uncomfortable if it is your first time.”

“I’m alright,” Ford said gruffly, immediately falling back down, his equilibrium still weak. “Or perhaps not as much as I thought.”

I laughed, lying down beside him. “I’ll just say you fell for me.”

Ford took some time to recover, the aftereffects of the magic holding him down for an extended period. Eventually he managed to right himself, settling down next to me on my bed as we relaxed, he watching as I set the sun from my balcony.

“How do you do that?” he asked, marveling at me as I returned indoors.

“I just… do,” I said, unable to manage any better. “It is difficult to truly explain.”

Ford appeared dissatisfied, but accepted my words. “Your hair’s a mess still,” he remarked. “I think you forgot to brush it after you dried off.”

I walked over to the mirror and saw that he was right; my once-wavy hair remained lank and unkempt. Ford appeared next to me with my brush, leading me back over to the bed as he set to work.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” I told him. “I promise, I managed it easily on my own for many years.”

“I like doing it,” he said. “You’re so powerful, you’re immortal- let’s face it, the Royal Guard is really just for show, you don’t need us. I want to do something for you.”

He is sweet, truly. Proud to the last, but his efforts are so often for those around him.

“Ford, can I ask you some questions?”

“About what?” he said, working through my hair with elegant grace and skill.

“About… well, you, truthfully,” I said. “I hate to confess it, but I know so little about you. You can pick up a history book and know most of my life’s story, but you’re… you are a complete mystery.”

Ford considered my words for a time, occupying himself with his work. “Alright, I guess so,” he said. “What did you want to know?”

“Where are you from?” I asked first, eager at the prospect of learning more about him.

“Vanhoover,” he replied. “I was born in a hospital downtown, but lived on the south side of the city and stayed there until I enlisted. I graduated training and came here. I’ve been here in Canterlot ever since.”

“What about your family?”

“My parents, and my older brother. It was a small little household, I guess.”

“Tell me about them. What were their names?”

Ford paused in his work. “Marianna and Titus. My older brother’s name was Gaellus, but everyone called him Shoal because he spent all his time on the water. He loved the ocean, my parents would catch him trying to sneak away from school and be on the docks nearly every day.”

“Did he end up working on the seas, your brother?” I asked.

“Yes, eventually,” Ford said. “My parents were fairly rich, so they gave him a loan on a small fishing boat and my brother started being an independent fisherman. He really had a knack for it, got really good at it. He knew which sea captains to avoid and which to emulate, so that really helped him.”

“He sounds like the favorite,” I said softly, feeling hurt for a young Ford I had never known.

“He was, but it wasn’t cruelty or neglect,” Ford replied. “They loved us both. He was just older and they could do more for him at the time. I guess they would’ve done the same for me as well when the time came around.”

Something about his words concerned me. Everything he said of his family was in the past-tense, stories of days gone by.

“Ford, tell me something,” I said.

“Anything.”

“Why was your family not here with you when you were promoted? I would have gladly let them visit you,” I said.

Ford set down the hairbrush, giving a long, mournful sigh. “Well, because they’re dead.”

My heart dropped. “What?”

Ford looked out at the night sky, a somber expression upon his face. “My brother came back from being out at sea one day, ranting and raving about how he had found the greatest catch in history. He went out early the next day to try and capture whatever he’d found and just… never came back. That was the last time I saw him.” Ford bit his lip and took a breath. “As the weeks went by, something in my parents just broke. They’d lost their eldest son and didn’t really know how to deal with that. They tried their best, but they’d already died inside. My father passed away when I was seventeen, and my mother followed a few months later.”

My heart broke for him. A young Ford, not even an adult, but already alone in the world. “Surely you had family to turn to,” I said softly.

“I might, but I never met them,” Ford replied. “My parents did something to anger the rest of my family- they were originally from Baltimare and moved westward to get away. If I have any family out there, I’ve never met them.”

“What did you do? How did you take care of yourself?” I asked.

“I had a friend who let me stay at their house until I became an adult,” Ford answered. “I worked odd-end jobs for a few years, then finally got some sense and enlisted. I’ve been here ever since. And then I met you. I’d say it’s been pretty good since then.”

My heart hurt for him. Ford was so strong, so brave and full of life, yet had nothing in the world to call his own. No wonder he seemed to go out of his way to care for me- I was, in a sense, all he had. “Ford…”

“It’s not a big deal, I’m fine,” he said brusquely. “No, really, I am. Look at my life. I carry your colors- the woman I dreamed about since I was a boy. I’m a leader in the Royal Guard, I get to spend the rest of my life protecting you. I should be happy. I am happy. Nothing can stop me from being happy right now, sitting next to the most beautiful woman in the world and saying I belong to her. That’s more than enough.”

The rest of the night was relatively silent, and before too long I kissed him farewell. As Ford left, I thought of his family. The loving parents I would never meet, the fiery brother who never returned. Ford already knew that deep, cutting loss so early in his life. I buried my face in my hands and could do nothing but weep for him.

October 12th, the Year MCCCXLV

How can one feel so strongly for someone they’ve never met?

Ford’s family has taken residency within my mind for days now. Their story holds onto me like few others have. Luna’s imprisonment, Sunset’s self-imposed exile, now a lost family that I have never met, nor will I ever meet. I imagine them, but I have no face to conjure, no memory to hold on to. It is a ghost of a life, of Ford’s life, that seems to haunt me. I do not know why. Maybe because of the one to whom it belongs.

Ford is often quiet. He is not a boisterous man, but collected, rational and level-headed. I wonder if the loss of his family so early in life had a great effect on him.

Death is a constant I do not know. It is a fundamental law of reality, a finality in what feels like an endless, ceaseless world. It is absolute, unbreakable, and immovable. So many fight it, push back against it, but all will face it in time. Except me. My sister and I, the last two of a long-forgotten world so ancient and old that even by the time I grew into adulthood I had already seen the centuries pass and turn, the world grow and rot. Kingdoms have come and gone, nations will rise and fall, but through it all I will remain. Death has thrown no snare upon my soul.

But its touch will still leave its mark upon me. Cadance will pass and all that will be left is her legacy. Twilight, so young and beautiful, will eventually breathe her last. And so will Ford. Death cannot claim me easily, but its claws will tear at my heart nonetheless.

I cannot un-know this fact. Somehow it has escaped my notice for all these years. Yet now it is something I cannot unsee and I do not wish to be part of it.

October 21st, the Year MCCCXLV

I am here alone tonight. I do not wish to be.

Ford was not himself tonight. I am to blame for that. I broached the topic poorly and I should have had more forethought.

I approached him earlier today, asking him to accompany me back to the astrellarium. It is a place of solitude for the both of us, the small chamber having few visitors to speak of, its seclusion an advantage for when we wish to be unseen and easy to access. I was glad to see him, finding greater comfort in him than I have before. Perhaps it is because the union we have shared, or perhaps the shadow of death that has come to linger on my mind. In my arms I held a man I cherished, but also a fragile, temporal thing. He will leave me someday.

We took to the stars, a telescope Luna had gifted to me serving our purposes nicely. We took in the view, he awed at the beauty that shone above him.

“They are magnificent,” he said, his voice trailing to a whisper. “I never knew it could all be so vast.”

“You’re only seeing a very small part of it,” I told him. “There are lights so far that their light cannot reach us, and all spread so far apart. The blackness between them is more vast than anything you or I could ever hope to know.”

Ford was left in wonderment as I told him more- likely more than he had ever known. Luna and I shared a love of astronomy that had kept our minds in the heavens for centuries.

“Tia?”

“Mhm?”

“Is it true that all the stars we can see are already gone?”

I paused. “I’m sorry?”

“I remember being told that a long while ago by a friend of mine,” Ford replied. “That every star we see is just its light. All of our night sky is just full of dead stars so far away that their light is only just now reaching us. Is that true?”

I remained hesitant. “Y-yes, it is,” I replied. “The stars we see are long passed, and only their light remains. It is a constant of our world.”

“What is?”

“Death,” I said sadly. The silence fell between us as we gazed up into the dying lights of the night sky. Death was in my mind again; Ford’s parents, his brother, the endless sea of it above, the thousands upon thousands who fell every day. The specter of death lay everywhere tonight.

“How do you live with it?” I asked.

“Huh?”

“How do you live every day, knowing that your life is so short and small?”

Ford seemed taken aback by my words, I immediately regretting their bluntness. “We’re all- we- Tia, we just do,” he said. It’s not this deep, dark secret that we’re going to die. Everyone does.”

“Except me and Luna,” I whispered.

“Except you and your sister,” Ford agreed. “I guess it scares some people, and they try to find ways around it, or keep it away for a little longer. Death’s still coming. Could be today, could be tomorrow. Just is.”

“You sound so cavalier about it,” I remarked.

“There’s nothing I can do to stop it,” Ford said. “I could get kicked in the head by a horse tomorrow and die, or I could live to be a hundred. Either way, I’m gonna bite it.”

“Does- do you miss your family? Do you visit them?”

“No. No, I don’t. At least not really,” Ford said. I must have let my feelings show, for he gave me a strange look. “Nothing’s going to bring them back. I don’t want to live in the past for the rest of my life. I miss them every now and then, but… my life is good. I’m not going to mourn over them while I still have a life to live.”

“It just sounds so callous,” I said, and I regretted the words in an instant.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he challenged. “Tell me that.”

“I didn’t mean to say it- I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have slipped out,” I tried to say, my words stumbling off my tongue.

“I know you’re not used to it,” Ford said, “but the rest of us are. Death is normal to us, even if it’s a whole new concept to you. I’m gonna keep living because that’s how I honor their memory. Not by keeping their birthdays or- or trying to live out their lives in some effort to keep them alive. That does nothing. They’re not here to care, so… so I’ll live and enjoy my life all the same.”

I couldn’t look him in the eye, Ford so proud and strong, yet so fragile; a spark that could go out in a heartbeat. I could hardly see him as anything else any longer.

“I’m going to leave,” he declared, slowly backing away into the darkness. “I don’t think I am doing you good by being with you tonight.”

My hand, perhaps by desire or instinct, reached out for him, but he had already left, leaving me alone in the darkness, my thoughts still consumed by death.

October 29th, the Year MCCCXLV

Ford will be leaving soon. Word was sent from Shining Armor in the Crystal Empire, requesting a joint-training exercise in the northern mountains. Arctic warfare training along with mountain warfare exercises, Hearth Fire has told me. When selections were made, various squads were nominated, with one from each battalion of the Solar Guard to make five in total. They will be departing the morning of Nightmare Night and will spend most of November in the mountains. It will be a brutal regimen.

Hearth Fire brought the names of the selected groups to me, requesting my approval. When I saw Ford mentioned, I was rather surprised. “Corporal Ford? But he is your youngest NCO, isn’t he?”

“Yes, Your Majesty, he is,” Hearth Fire admitted. “I narrowed down the selection to Sergeant Coal, Sergeant First Class Beam, and Corporal Ford. However, Beam is looking to retire soon, and Coal’s wife has fallen ill again. It is likely she will need medical care and upkeep for the rest of her life.”

“So Corporal Ford wins out by process of luck,” I summarized.

“Yes, in a sense. But he has done well, Your Majesty. I want to push him and see how he fares. He’s one of the best recruits we’ve had in many, many years.”

“Very well then,” I said. “Let Corporal Ford’s squad be made aware so they can begin preparations.” And I would need to see Ford before he departed, quietly sending a message to him the moment Hearth Fire left.

The weather had become cold, the full force of winter well on its way and leaving me with few ideas of where Ford and I would meet. My chambers were becoming difficult for him to reach, the mountain springs too affected by the elements, and the astrellarium was being used to host a party for my council and nobles. After some deliberation, I decided for him to meet me at the mouth of the tunnels, and I would take us to a place far safer.

I half-wondered if he would even meet me there, he and I not having left on the best of terms in our last rendezvous. The thought of him intentionally avoiding me was… unpleasant. But the moment when I had lost hope, there he was, cheeks burned by the cold and wind but alive and well.

“This seems too open,” he remarked, reaching for my hand and electrifying me with warmth. “Are you sure this place is safe for us?”

“This isn’t our end destination,” I said with a smile. “Come, hold on to me.” As his hand tightened upon mine, I gave a snap of my fingers and we disappeared, the world turning black until at last we reappeared, the sound of waves crashing coming to meet our ears.

Ford stood there stunned by the sight of moonlight dancing along the waves. “Where are we?” he asked.

“Somewhere very, very far away,” I said. “An island far to the south of Equestria, my place of solitude and comfort when I need it most.”

“We’re outside Equestria?” I nodded, leaving Ford more shocked than before. “This is… I’ve… I’ve never left home before.”

“Is it to your liking?”

“It’s incredible. I’ve never seen a place like it,” Ford answered, still appearing bemused. “But why bring us here? Why not simply bring us to your chambers?”

“You’re going to a bitterly cold place,” I told him. “I wished for you to have the sights and sounds of a warmer place to hold onto.”

We walked along the shoreline, letting the comforting ocean waves lap at our feet. Ford’s attention was consumed by the seas, his eyes fixated on the darkened horizon. I had rarely seen him so preoccupied. I could sense a disquiet in him, something having been put ill at ease.

I felt my heart sink. If this splendid place was not enough to comfort him, then perhaps nothing would. Before too long I recommended we return home, and he quickly agreed. In an instant we had returned to the palace, safe and secure in my quarters.

“You’re upset about something,” I said, settling down in a comfortable armchair. “You’ve been distracted all night. Is something the matter?”

“It’s nothing, I promise,” Ford replied, obviously lying to the both of us.

“You agreed that you would allow me to be someone you could talk to,” I reminded him. “We have been at odds these past few days. I would like to not be.”

Ford remained uncomfortable, his countenance falling. He could not seem to bring himself to face me at all, looking everywhere but at me- yet a hunger in his eyes seemed to seek me out. “Do I hurt you by being here?”

“I don’t understand,” I said.

“Ever since I told you my family’s story, it’s like a part of you has been afraid. Like suddenly death became real to you. Am I a bad reminder to you now?”

“No, not at all,” I protested, but immediately finding that my words had failed me.

Ford took notice of my state. “Princess, I’m going to die someday. Does that cause you pain? Am I- just a reminder of something you’ll eventually lose?”

“Yes. In a sense,” I admitted. “I see you and I see a ghost of people I never met. I’m glad that you choose to live, but someday that choice will not be yours. I wish I could change that, but there is nothing I can do to stop it.”

“So the thought of me hurts you now,” Ford said. His voice was tight, constricted. He was holding back his own emotions now for my sake. And perhaps for his own as well. “I am no longer a living, breathing person, but a specter. A haunted thing.” I looked up and saw him standing before me, his face darkened with the hurt he now bore. “So I should have said nothing after all. Maybe you should have rejected me in the first place.”

“No! Not at all,” I cried, taking his hands in mine. “I am glad you are in my life, even if… even if you won’t always be.”

“Someday I won’t be,” he said. “Are you ready for that? Could be years from now, when I’ve become old and gray. But it could be tomorrow. It could be in an instant. It will hurt, and I don’t want to be the one who brings you pain. Because I can’t bear that thought.”

Ford, ever the sacrificial one, ever proud and stubborn, was saying exactly what I did not want to hear. He gave a sigh, letting my hands drop from his. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Stop being noble. Stop being proud and stay with me tonight,” I begged him, that hunger that had first brought us together reigniting, causing an ache that shook my very soul. Never so deeply had I wanted him, to bring happiness to him again.

He looked up at me with those sad, baleful eyes. “But you can’t love a dead man walking,” he said wistfully. He turned to the balcony, slowly reaching for a way down and out of sight. “I’m sorry, Princess.”

I called for him to return, my voice carrying through the wind, I risking our secret in the desperate chance to bring him back. But just as he had come he was gone, disappearing into the night.

My fears had been of losing him to death. Instead, I had spurned him away myself. And now, after all our time together, I did not know if I could bear the weight of it.

November 3rd - November 28th, the Year MCCCXLV

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November 3rd, the Year MCCCXLV

I feel his absence everywhere I go. The castle seems emptier without him, less vibrant. I have lost one of my greatest comforts. I have lost a part of myself, and I did not realize how much I had come to depend on it.

Ford has been gone for two days now. No goodbye parting, no letter, nothing. Just the stoic silence of a soldier who does his best. He has always been an admirable warrior, upright and honest. I admired that about Ford, that no matter what he did, whether it be training for combat or something as simple as cleaning floors, he would put his all into his work. No hesitation, no complaints, just a desire to do his work and see it through.

Was it because of his own will that he did so, that he put his all into everything he did? Or was it for the approval of another that he worked- my approval? Has my foolishness and fear cost the morale and work ethic of a proud soldier? Hearth Fire had high hopes for Ford. He believed that he would be the leader of the next generation of warfighters. Has my influence, my foolhardy actions, cost us a once-in-a-generation talent? I pray not.

I know some would be scornful if they saw my writing. They would believe that I have been cold, unfeeling to the loss of a beloved. That I should weep and be woebegone. Others might claim that I am being self-centered, thinking nothing of Ford and his own troubles. After all, he loved me since he was a boy- how can he feel now, seeing it come to an end like this?

I cannot speak for Ford. I will not again. His emotions, his thoughts and feelings- the sum of his whole belongs to him and him alone. To speak in his stead would be just as much an error as the trouble I brought to him. I know that I hurt him. However, to do anything regarding him now would be a disservice and an insult to his current status. He is somewhere in the northern wilds, it would not be wise to make him lose focus. His soldiers are depending on him to be the leader we have all seen him to be- perhaps for their very lives.

As for myself… I do not feel it. I cannot say why my heart is silent. Am I overwhelmed by the magnitude of it all? Did I just play the game of love rather than partake in it? I feel his absence, yes, his comfort and warmth, but my heart does not ache. I cannot bring myself to mope and mourn. Whether it be for my own sake or the sake of my countrymen, I remain strong and standing. If it is an affront to Ford’s love, then it is one I do not know how to resolve. For now, I must let it be.

No one knows of the events that transpired that night. If Luna is aware of it, she has made no mention of it to me. It would seem that, even to the end, Ford’s secret remained safe. Even though I brought it to an end with a disservice, I did not fail his trust. At least that can be a comfort.

I do not fear the lonely morning. I have been solitary for millennia, and a few months of companionship will not have changed that. I have friends. I have dear Luna. I will not feel this loss, because I have so much to still hold onto.

I can bury this.

November 7th, the Year MCCCXLV

If I could reverse time, I would tread through the waters of the past and slap myself out of my reverie. So stony-faced and noble, indeed! A mask is all it was, and now I sit here barely able to keep my head up!

I was trying to convince myself, I think. That to be alone again would not hurt. That a sudden, small bout of love in the midst of a lifetime’s worth of loneliness would not be felt seemed such a simple, feasible solution- nothing more than a heartbroken girl’s poor attempt at believing a lie.

I see him everywhere I go, I hear his voice with every footstep. I see the mark of the Sun and hope to see his face. He is everywhere I go- the Astrellarium, the mountain caves, even my own chambers. I miss him more than anything in the world, an ache in my heart so great that if my pain were a real, physical thing I would be stabbed upon it.

I let fear guide my steps rather than simply trusting. Ford had suffered, had found a way to endure it- no, live beyond it. He had lost everything, yet gained so much more than he could have ever dreamed. He served his kingdom and his people, he led soldiers- he loved the woman of his dreams and held her in his arms.

I tore that away from him. All because I felt the first taste of truly being mortal in the shape of one I could not bear to lose. I tried to stop it, to think of a way to deal with it, to help Ford seal a wound he had cauterized so long ago. Instead I opened old wounds, brought him more pain than he had ever asked for. To have to turn his back on the one woman he had desired all his life-

It was a gift unlike any other. No one on this earth had ever offered up to me so much of themselves. Not just his life, but his death was to be given to me, a gift he would gladly give. Ford had found a new life alongside me, one so detached from his boyhood that he could finally be rid of it. Instead I tried to drag it right back into the present. I curse my very name. My foolishness, my stupidity, and my relentless fear of what it means to be mortal. I have driven him away, maybe forever.

I do not want it. I want nothing of this pain. I want Ford, to feel him in my arms, to press his lips against mine. Anything of his to bring comfort to my soul. But no matter where I look, I cannot find it. I have lost him, and even when he returns he will not be mine any longer.

I did not realize it, but I came to love him so easily. To have someone so full, so at ease at his standing in the world… I did not even notice that I loved him.

I love him. And I do not know what I will do without him. But someone else may know what I need to do.

Ford, I am so sorry, but I am about to break my silence. Our secret needs to be revealed, if only to one person. I need to hear from Cadance.

November 8th, the Year MCCCXLV

Dear Cadance,

Greetings to you from your aunt of the south. It has been some time since we have met face-to-face, something I hope we will someday rectify- and sooner rather than later.

I hope you are well, and the same for both Shining Armor and Flurry Heart. To command such a kingdom and still have a little one to attend to is no small feat to manage, though I have no doubts you do so brilliantly. I wish you the best, and as much ease as you can be given.

I am sure you are wondering what has caused this letter. This is not an open missive to your kingdom, but a note on a more personal matter. I require your advice on a particular matter, and seeing as you are the Princess of Love, I feel as though there is no better soul to reach out to. I hope you understand, however, that what I am about to reveal to you is told in the strictest of confidences.

Several months ago, I encountered a young soldier who had come into the ranks of my Royal Guard. A well-effacing young man, honorable and trustworthy. However, he had one particular flaw that could not be corrected- that flaw, as I came to discover, was a deep-set attraction to… well, myself. He desired me, though I did not immediately know it. Perhaps against my better judgement, but I came to grow fond of him, and we began a secret relationship that has been well hidden for months now. We thrived, both together and in our separate functions. I felt a growth that I had not yet known, and I watched him begin to excel in a way few soldiers have ever dreamed.

As you may have guessed already, things have not stayed in this happy realm. That is my error, as I have caused him a great deal of grief over the past month. Unintentional, but I tried to help him bury a life that had already been long left behind. Instead of aiding him, I reopened old wounds and cause him great pain. We departed, and not amicably. I wish I could say otherwise, but I fear I have pushed him away forever.

Cadance, I come to you for advice. He is currently on training and will return at the end of the month, but I do not know what manner of return he will bring, nor of whether or not he has forgiven me for my transgressions. When he returns, I will try to find a way to speak to him, and I do not know what I will say- or even what I am supposed to say. That is why I ask for you. What should be my next move? I do not wish to lose him- he is quite dear to me. I have not been loved before, and I do not want to see him go. Not if there is a way to resolve this matter.

I eagerly await your response. If time is what you need, then take it so that I may receive the greatest of your wisdom. And again, as stated earlier, this is told in the strictest of confidence. Please, tell no one- for his sake.

Wishing you well,

Celestia

November 12th, the Year MCCCXLV

Dear Celestia,

How wonderful it is to hear from you! It has been far too long since we have seen one another. Flurry Heart is beginning to speak now, and often asks for her ‘Aunty Tia’ as she calls you. You must find an excuse to visit sometime, so that my little daughter can see her wonderful Aunt.

As for your personal matter… Dear Auntie, may I simply say that I am glad you finally let your royal barrier down! Too many souls have passed you by in your life, desperate to woo you and know you. I am glad that someone found a way to break through your shell and truly bring you out. Though you may not realize it, the very way you speak has changed. Something has been lit within you.

Though you may find yourself angry at me for this, I couldn’t help but laugh at your letter. Do not take this as derision of your worries, or that I disregard them. I understand that you feel troubled, and even guilty because of what has transpired. To see someone you love–yes, I am aware you love him. You would not have asked for my aid if this was a mere passing fancy- be hurt because of your own actions is never a pleasant thing. But my dear Auntie, I am afraid you are simply overreacting!

I know that you have dwelled upon this earth for far longer than I. You have seen and experienced much, so please do not cast aside my words as childish and inexperienced. I know love. I know you, which is even more important in this matter. You are inexperienced with ways of the heart, so of course you take this seriously. You are kind and caring, so it is no surprise to me that this troubles you. But I believe you are giving it more weight than it deserves. Fights happen. If you have been together for several months, as you mentioned earlier, than you are likely just reaching the phase of the relationship where these things can happen. It doesn’t necessarily imply weakness or a brittle relationship; you are simple comfortable enough with one another to begin showing your flaws.

This sort of thing will happen again. It may be easier to smooth out, it may not be. But love, real love, always finds a way to mend itself in the end. If he is as loyal as you have implied him to be, I would be willing to guess that he is as troubled as you are. But do realize that quarrels are normal. Not even Shining and I can always see eye-to-eye.

I wish you well, and hope to see you soon.

Love,

Cadance

P.S. Your secret is safe with me. Happiness to the both of you.

November 17th, the Year MCCCXLV

I… am occupied. Perhaps not in the most wholesome of ways.

Cadance, despite my initial reactions, is most likely correct. She is, after all, the Princess of Love. I should listen to the counsel I have been given. But I would be a liar if I did not say that my first reaction was anger! And such a fiery thing too, bristling and hot beneath my skin. As I boiled in my anger, I began to realize that I did not know why I was so angry in the first place. Had I not asked for this, even asked Cadance to take additional time for the best answer possible? Why was I unhappy for being given counsel that I had asked for? Shame cooled the fire in my blood, a shame I should have been wise enough to know on my own.

I have been given wisdom. Wisdom that is likely right, but I do not know what to do with it. I am certain Cadance is correct, but I am still left standing here while Ford is training in the northern wilds. It will still be some time before he returns. What do I do in the meantime to settle my own soul that is so on the edge of shattering from the nerves I cannot extinguish?

Oh, heaven help me. I am thousands of years old and I do not know what to do.

November 20st, the Year MCCCXLV

I sent Ford a letter. Hearth Fire came to report the progress of Ford’s squad, reporting that the majority of the training is now over. They will be returning back to the Crystal Empire and resting there before continuing home. As a means of greeting them and congratulating the soldiers on their success, well-wishes and letters from loved ones are being gathered to be sent tomorrow morning.

As discreetly as I could, I slipped a small note into the mixture of parchment and papers, titled as simply as I could so as to avoid detection. Just a simple thing, a small reminder that I still care for him- that I do indeed still love him, and long for his return.

But what if he no longer feels the same?

I will bury that thought. Until the time comes to deal with it.

November 25th, the Year MCCCXLV

A gift of flowers awaited me in my room as I returned from my duties. A beautiful bouquet of Gardenia’s- the flower of a secret love.

Ford hasn’t even returned yet from training. He doesn’t arrive for another three days, this couldn’t possibly be from him, could it?

Ford, please return here safely. My heart, and my sanity, both depend on it.

November 28th, the Year MCCCXLV

He loves me also.

December 4th, the Year MCCCXLV - January 1st, the Year MCCCXLVI

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December 4th, the Year MCCCXLV

The palace is going to be rather empty soon. Not that I will want for company, nor that I have cause to worry. The holidays are upon us! And more importantly for my soldiers, Block Leave has arrived along with it. A rare opportunity for them to return to their homes scattered across the country, rejoin with old friends and family. I encourage as many as possible to return and rest, to be with their loved ones. I would have it no other way.

… And yes, it will give me time to be with Ford more often. Since he has no family or friends to return to, Ford has decided to remain on duty so as to stay with me. It is odd, but I will have a companion for my Hearth’s Warming. Luna and I are often tugged so many different ways that finding a time to come together is… rather difficult, to say the least.

I am proud of my sister. She has done well since her days of imprisonment, fighting constantly to shed the image of her days as Nightmare Moon, as well as her own personal demons. She often patrols the wildlands and keeps Equestria’s more violent beasts in check, as well has helping to keep local animal populations well-controlled. Her guards even are the primary leaders of search-and-rescue for the entire kingdom. Luna, despite all her early misgivings, has become a critical function for the lives of normal folk in this country. However, it does make her somewhat isolated, brash, and occasionally difficult to be around. I love her immensely, but I believe her romps in the wild parts of the world have made her somewhat wild herself. It would be good for her to not spend so much time in isolation, or in such dangerous conditions.

This Hearth’s Warming season, I am going to try to find a means of bringing my sister in. To have a genuine holiday where she can relax. Now if only I knew how…

December 9th, the Year MCCCXLV

I am considered by many to be wise. Often I am told that I am a wondrous resource for all manner of counsel. Princess Twilight has always considered me to be her greatest word of wisdom.
And yet, I cannot think of a single gift for my own sister that is worthwhile! I have considered so much -the extravagant, the flashy, the beautiful- but hardly anything I think of can be considered practical- which would fit Luna’s lifestyle best. Her heart lies in the wilds, so much of what I might consider to be a good present is not really suitable.

Perhaps I just do not possess the right mindset.

But then again, I do know someone who does.

December 10th, the Year MCCCXLV

Most of my Guard have departed. A small contingency remains on duty, but much of the Solar Guard has returned to their homes, or have gone to spend the holidays with family. It is quiet within the palace walls again, and I am glad of it; my soldiers need true time to rest, and the lack of personnel means much of my time can be spent with Ford. Beyond major issues of state or critical emergencies, Day Court has little to do until the New Year’s Celebrations.

Ford’s schedule, unfortunately, has suffered somewhat due to the absence of many of his fellows. With so few names left, the roster for duties has become thin. He, along with all of my guards, have an excess of tasks to complete. Thankfully, with the shortened nature of Day Court during Hearth’s Warming season, I can mitigate some of it myself with it.

Today was the first day all week I was able to meet with Ford privately. As the weather has grown cold, we have taken to retreating into my chambers more for warmth rather than sexual comfort.

… Although, if I am honest, that is something of a reason itself.

I discreetly ordered drinks for us, a specialized blend of hot chocolate Cadance had once given me when I visited the Crystal Empire some years ago. Ford felt it somewhat beneath him, worrying that his status as a soldier had led him away from such things.

“Hardly. Wouldn’t the difficulties of your path mean that silly things suddenly become precious?” I asked him.

Ford hadn’t thought of that, but still remained somewhat self-conscious. “It’s just been- well, it’s been a while since I could really- you know, loosen up,” he said lamely.

He had been young when he had lost his family. I felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that he must have been forced by circumstance to grow up rapidly. “Then see this as… making up for lost time,” I told him. “I promise, you will enjoy it.”

A knock on the door and Ford disappeared into the baths as a young maid from the kitchens brought a pair of mugs upon a silver tray, smiling but appearing uncertain. “Here’s your Spiked Chocolate as requested, Your Majesty,” she said with a curtsy, “I see your company has yet to arrive. Surely they haven’t kept you waiting?”

“It is for Luna and me, Brighid. You know how my sister can be,” I said pleasantly, though my stomach squirmed. I disliked lying in any form.

“Well, I certainly hope she’s staying warm, it’s gotten far too frosty for my old bones,” Brighid replied. “Hope you enjoy, Your Majesty, and a happy Hearth’s Warming to you.”

“And you as well, Brighid. Thank you, I’m certain it’s delicious.”

As soon as the door closed, Ford reappeared from the baths, peering at the door with a look of curiosity. “You know Brighid?” he asked.

“She’s been here several years,” I replied. “Have you met her before?”

Ford nodded. “She comes by the barracks to hand out gifts and care packages to the soldiers sometimes,” he said. “She dotes on us.”

I smiled. “Her sons both serve. They’ve been stationed in Baltimare for several years now. From her perspective, you’re all her sons and daughters.” Mentally, I made a note to reward Brighid for her kindness.

“So… Spike Chocolate?” Ford asked apprehensively, taking the mug in his hands. “I’m guessing it’s named after-”

“The Crystal Empire will likely never let go of the fixation,” I said, trying not to laugh. “Cadance brought this to me once some years ago. Take a sip.”

The mug, lined with flecks of chocolate along the rim, was still steaming hot as I took a small sip. The creamy comfort was heavenly upon my lips, and gave a wondrous warmth to my whole body. As the weather outside turned worse, it was a pleasant treat.

“Whoa.” Ford sat down his cup, looking at it with a mixture of surprise and delight. “That was… really good. Is there alcohol in this?”

“An alcoholic cream. Helps to keep warm, doesn’t it?”

He eyed me, his mouth twitching as he tried not to laugh. “Spike Chocolate, huh? That’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard.”

“Hence the name,” I replied, immediately taking another sip and letting the warmth flow through me. “Ford, can I ask a favor of you?”

“Well, you’re my boss. I think you’re allowed the right,” he joked.

I rolled my eyes. “Ford, I need your help on something. A word.”

“Alright, then. What’s the problem?” he asked, setting his cup aside.

“Luna,” I said.

Ford hesitated. “Is she still mad at you for something?”

“No. I simply don’t know what to get her for Hearth’s Warming and I was hoping you might have some idea,” I replied.

“Why ask me? I hardly know anything about your sister, you’re aware of that,” Ford replied.

“You’re a soldier- like she is,” I reminded him. “You know what is needed for a practical mind. Wouldn’t that be a good enough start?”

“I suppose so,” Ford said, taking a hearty swig of his drink and pausing to think. “I’m assuming you thought of something nice already, but decided it wouldn’t fit her?” As I nodded, he began to mull his thoughts together. “So practical… do you want to avoid flashy completely? Or perhaps something somewhat ornate to add a bit of flair?”

“I had thoughts, but nothing seems really suitable.”

“I think you had the right idea, just maybe the wrong aesth- uh, what’s the word?” Ford said, beginning to fumble.

“Aesthetic?”

“Yeah. So you like things that are pretty and look good, but Luna favors the practical and durable. You could probably find a way to make the two word,” he said. “Just have something ceremonial, or something that will work for a long while.”

“A ceremonial blade?” I suggested.

“Built out of a rarer metal,” he added. “Moonlit Steel shines well in the dark. Holds up very well, but a bit flashy. And maybe some high-quality leather for adventuring. Good leather, truly good leather, lasts a while.”

“It’s a wonderful idea,” I said appreciatively, wishing he was closer so I could grant him a kiss as reward. “You have been a great help to me, even if it seems like something simple.”

“Always happy to be of service, Ford said pleasantly. “Now if only I could find an easy solution for you.”

I am embarrassed to admit it, but I felt my face go completely flush at his words. “Ford, you do not have to give me anything. I am the woman who has everything.” It was not a false statement. I had wonderful friends, a devoted sister, and a man who loved me with all his heart. What more could I ask for?

“And that’s what makes it difficult. For the woman who has everything, what can I possibly give?” Ford said.

“Your good company will be more than enough,” I said to him, flattered at his kindness. “Do not fret about it, Ford. To have you with me will be the best gift I can have.”

“And you think that will stop me?” he asked teasingly. “I’m going to get you something, Tia, even if it takes me the rest of the month-”

To hear my name said like that gave me a start. “Excuse me? Tia, did you say?”

The smile fell from Ford’s face in an instant. “Umm… yes. It just feels a little more affectionate.”

“I believe that is the first time I have ever had a ‘pet name,’” I remarked, walking over to face him.

“Is that… bad?” he asked uncertainly.

A kiss said no.

December 15th, the Year MCCCXLV

Luna’s presents have been commissioned. A highly reputable blacksmith from a village outside Van Hoover took the job, apparently one of the few who knows how to smelt Moonlit Steel. A local leatherworker in Canterlot took on the other half of the job, building a beautiful belt for her.

The remaining gifts to be sent are rather easy. Cadance and Shining Armor received a smattering of things, including some needed baby toys for young Flurry Heart. My little niece is growing up far too quickly. As for Twilight, a collection of beautifully written poetry that I happened upon in an antique shop a few days ago.

For the first time in many years, I am excited for Hearth’s Warming. Luna has already agreed to join me for the actual day itself, and a wonderful dinner is planned for all who remain. It will be a magnificent day.

Oh heaven help me, I forgot to get something for Ford.

December 22nd, the Year MCCCXLV

Ford, I know your personal life is very private to you. But I did my digging, making inquiries as to your records and those of your family.

I hope you are not upset by your gift, my love. May the memories make it worth keeping.

December 25th, the Year MCCCXLV

Hearth’s Warming is here! The most wonderful day of the year has come at last, in all its wintry glory. It is a bitterly cold day, a gentle snowfall still pressing against my window pane. But inside it has been wondrous to behold.

As I awoke and brought the sun forth, the sound of bells began to ring across the city, signaling that Hearth’s Warming had finally arrived. The sound of carols and merrymakers soon began to follow. Candles were lit in every window for all to see, turning the land of grey and white into a sea of lights. It has always been a favored tradition of mine.

I summoned Hearth Fire, who had chosen to remain on duty for the entirety of Block Leave, and told him to spread word across the barracks: all those who had no duty were to be invited to a Hearth’s Warming Feast in the banquet hall, and those who would be on duty were to be delivered a special meal by Hearth Fire and myself, as gratitude for their dedication this holiday season. For those with families, a personal meal will be delivered to their homes so they can celebrate the day with their loved ones. Hearth Fire took to his orders with enthusiasm, and I am quite certain I could hear the roar of approval that rose from the courtyard all the way in my personal quarters. Shortly after, the appearance of Luna at my doorstep took all other matters from my mind. She seemed discomforted, but her smile was genuine as she handed me a small gift and placed it on my bedside. We agreed that our time for gifts would come later.

After all meals had been delivered, the time for feasting had come. The feast itself was glorious, a beautifully prepared meal that the kitchen staff had been preparing for nearly a week. My soldiers, off duty and in their normal clothing, looked more relaxed and themselves than I had ever seen them. In their midst was Ford, who braved being caught and gave me a small wink as he passed me by.

Not long after the feasting began, a small group of the Solar Guard asked whether or not the kitchen staff were allowed to join us, becoming more and more raucous until their enthusiasm became infectious and spread across the room. Soon, the entire kitchen was emptied and all manner of the staff came to join us. Scullery maids, cooks, and all those who wished to be part of it, and even at the end there was still plenty of food left for all. Deciding nothing would go to waste, several packages of untouched food were wrapped and to be distributed throughout the poorer areas of the city, in case there was a want or need to be filled.

Unbeknownst to me, a tradition of the Solar Guard had come to pass. As the last of the food disappeared from the table and those gathered began to talk and rest amongst themselves, my Commander took to his feet, his voice booming- not a command, but a song. A beautiful carol from days past, synonymous with the soldier and brotherhood they share. For a few moments he sung alone, but soon a rousing chorus joined in as all present took part. Luna beside me sung quietly, her eyes misted as she likely thought of her own soldiers, keeping watch out in the wildlands.

As the carol came to an end, the sound of thunderous applause erupted from across the room, and Hearth Fire struggled to regain order. “Gentlemen, that’s enough- enough, I tell you! Bunch of wild heathens, all of you!” he said, his harsh words contradicted by his jovial countenance. “You all know what comes next, gentlemen! The snow is on the ground in thickness. The board is set, it is time to act! Commanders, are your men prepared?”

There was a smattering of responses as various sections of the Solar Guard replied, and Hearth Fire turned to face me. “Your Majesty, with permission, the Solar Guard wishes to continue the tradition of the Winter Wars. On your mark, may these men take part?”

I had not the faintest idea what Hearth Fire was referring to, but I had no qualm letting them continue on with their holiday. “Ladies and gentlemen, it has been a pleasure spending this feast with you- with all of you! I am grateful for your work, and the hearts that burn beneath them! You are dismissed- enjoy your day with friends and loved ones!”

“Hail!” The cry rang across the banquet hall and all the Solar Guard stood as one to face me, giving a departing bow before making a rush for the door. As they emptied, I could hear Hearth Fire’s laughter above the din of marching footsteps. I made my way to him.

“And what is the Winter War?” I inquired.

“This way, Your Majesty,” he replied, pointing towards the windows overlooking the balcony. “A storied, historic game.”

I peered down and the saw the crowd of soldiers that once filled my banquet hall now out upon the snow-covered courtyard, taking positions in various corners, building snow forts and arming themselves with mountains of snowballs. Soon they began their games, the sound of cheers and jeers easily audible. I couldn’t help but laugh. “I should have expected as such,” I said to him.

“I must continue on with my duties, Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire said. “It has been a pleasure, Your Majesty.”

“Likewise, Commander,” I replied. “My well-wishes to your wife and children.”

The banquet hall was empty now, save for Luna and myself. She had hardly said a word to anyone throughout the meal, now staring at me with a wistful expression upon her face.

“Your soldiers… are livelier than I remember,” she remarked.

“A rowdy crowd, but they are good. I could hardly ask for better,” I replied.

“They are lucky, truly,” she said. “They have a compassionate leader over them. They give you everything they have, and you do the same for them.”

“If only I could give them more,” I said.

Luna’s expression turned sorrowful. “Here I stand, in warmth and comfort, while my own soldiers are still out there. Cold, alone… I cannot give them enough for what they do.” She turned to me. “Sister- please do not think less of me, but I wish to be with them. If they suffer, I do not wish them to suffer alone. Allow me the pleasure of seeing you open your gift before I go.”

“Of course,” I said, beckoning her to walk with me. Her eyes remained locked on the windows and beyond, peering far out into the cold and snow and ice, where her heart likely remained- where her loyal soldiers remained. In that moment I think I began to understand her dedication that I had once considered obsession. It was not a desire to be a part of the wilderness, untamed and vicious; it was a deep, faithful love of her soldiers that drove her to be near them.

As we returned to my chambers, I took to opening Luna’s parcel immediately, extracting an exquisite chain of gold, each bead sparkling in the candlelight. “Luna, it’s beautiful,” I said. “Thank you so much.”

“You have always had an eye for pretty things,” she said to me. “It suits you.”

“And hopefully your gift will suit you just as well,” I said, snapping my fingers and spawning her gifts before her. “Happy Hearth’s Warming, dear sister.”

“Sister…” Luna hardly dared to touch the blade, a beautifully crafted sabre with a small diamond crafted into the hilt, alongside a leather belt with the crescent moon grafted as ornaments. “Sister, these are- they are beautiful…”

I smiled. “I hoped you would like it. Ford was a great help to me in finding something for you. The gift was his suggestion.”

“Ford?” her eyes narrowed at the mention of his name, Luna still not quite over my deception- nor his illicit relationship with myself. “He… certainly was correct.”

I laughed this time. “I will be certain to tell him that.”

Luna sighed, setting the blade at her hip. “I suppose he will be part of your life for some time, I see.”

“It is the hope,” I remarked.

She shook her head. “At least it was not a fool you chose. Farewell, sister, and truly- thank you.” In a flash she was gone.

That evening as the sun fell and the candlelight grew brighter, Ford made his appearance, his cheeks still red from his time in the cold. “Did your sister approve?” he asked.

“She was quite surprised to hear how you had helped,” I said pleasantly, welcoming him into my arms. “She was delighted.”

“I’m glad. I hope you are too,” he said, bringing forth a small box from his pocket and placing it in my hand.

“Ford… you didn’t have to get me anything,” I said. “Your company is more than enough.”

“I wanted to,” he said. “It’s an old family token. I wanted you to have it.”

It was a simple item, a carved piece of wood in the shape of a tear. But nevertheless a beautifully crafted pendant, painted a lovely dark blue with the words ‘No more Tears’ written upon the back.

“My mother gave it to me. She said my father gave it to her when I was born,” he remarked. “When my brother died, she gave it to me and wrote the words on the back. It’s been a good reminder ever since.”

“Oh, Ford,” I whispered, cradling the pendant as though it were priceless. “I cannot possibly accept it. This is… it’s…”

“It belongs to you now,” he said, closing my hands around it. “You remind me of those words every day. It should be with you.”

I could hardly bear to take it, touched beyond words as he saw my smile. I was so enraptured by his kindness that I almost forgot one last item hidden away. “I have something for you,” I said slowly, now feeling uncertain as to my decision. “Ford, I… I had Vannhoover go through its old records on your family.”

Ford took a step back, already appearing apprehensive.

“Please, I hope you aren’t angry with me,” I added. I brought forth a small book and placed it in his hands. “But I believe these belong to you now.”

He opened it and his expression was tumultuous. Pictures of his family, nearly forgotten in the halls of records immeasurable, now sat before him. The shining faces of his parents, the steadfast visage of his brother, friends and loved ones long forgotten beamed up at him. How many memories now resurfaced at the sight? How many words and voices rang clearly in his mind?

For a moment, I believed I had made a mistake. Ford’s face was shadowed but he gazed at me with tears in his eyes- a sight I had never believed I would see. “Thank you, for this,” he said gruffly. “I had almost forgotten what they looked like.”

I kissed him before his words could fail him, holding him in my arms as we let the night pass.

It has been a long and difficult year. But I have company to pass through it all. A loyal sister, steadfast friends, and a loving companion to help stem the tide.

The new year is waiting.

January 1st, the Year MCCCXLVI

A New Year’s Eve attack last night in Manehatten. Over one hundred dead, with nearly one thousand injured. A Griffon Kingdom terror cell has been blamed for orchestrating the attack.

Heaven help us.

January 11th - January 28th, the Year MCCCXLVI

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January 11th, the Year MCCCXLVI

No word from the Griffon Kingdom. I sent an envoy with word the day after the blast with all necessary information we had gathered. It was less than I had hoped for, but more than enough to make a convincing statement. Yet still, here I sit ten days later- with not even the smallest word from King Peregrine.

Luna has taken an obsessive defense of the kingdom, she and her border guard on near-constant patrol. I wished her luck and requested she care for herself, but I have heard nothing from her since she departed the day of the attack. While I wish she did not exhaust herself so, I know full well the kingdom will be well protected under her vigilance.

It has been chaotic here, this being my first chance to write in this journal since the event. The day after the bombing, a pair of Griffon Kingdom supporters were arrested and I was immediately informed of their capture. Worried that, like our last Griffon prisoner, he would be found dead, I ordered a constant guard to be kept until my arrival, from then the terms of his imprisonment would be dictated as necessary. Wanting a good mind alongside me, I requested Hearth Fire to travel with me- he requesting a team of guards, led by Corporal Ford, as a backup detail in case of a secondary attack. I considered it unnecessary, but my Commander insisted upon it for my safety.

When I arrived, I was unsurprised, but disappointed to see the condition of our two prisoners were poor; one bore the marks of a severe beating, the right eye of the other had swollen shut.

“What is the meaning of this? Why are they in such a woeful state?” I demanded, turning to the guard who was on shift.

The officer on duty, a young man who was likely new, seemed uncomfortable in answering me. “They, um, resisted arrest, Your Majesty,” he said. “I do not know exactly what happened, I was not there.”

“Have another take your post- find me the officers who apprehended these men!” I said, my anger at the entirety of this ordeal starting to get the best of me, my voice boiling and echoing through the cellblock hall like thunder. The young policeman took off like a shot as he hastened to obey my commands. Satisfied that at least some of my will was to be carried out, I turned to the two prisoners- a small part of a much larger faction. “What are your names?” I asked of them.

One of them, a very young soul who hardly was old enough to be considered a teenager, stared at me as though he saw a ghost, his eyes wide with fear. The other, an older, bitter-looking man in his late-thirties, gave me a look that suggested eating my heart was what he most desired in life.

“What are your names? Answer quickly now,” I said, my already-thin patience threatening to break.

“Cooper-” the young one said, and was immediately cut off by his older fellow.

“Do not speak, they are trying to get at you,” the older said angrily, giving his cohort a vicious look that spoke of murderous intent.

“Your Princess asked you a question! Answer now!” Hearth Fire roared.

The older one sneered. “I have no princess, only a King,” he said. “I remain loyal to the Griffon Kingdom, and the Hope of an Empire Reborn.”

“Does your empire condone the murder of the innocent?” Hearth Fire challenged.

“Enough, Commander,” I said, not wishing for his anger to make the situation worse.

“My Kingdom will defend itself, no matter what assails it,” the older man replied. “And what I do to protect it is beyond reproach.”

I let silence fall between us, the older man trying to stare straight at me until he could bear my gaze no further. Satisfied that I had at least managed to silence him for a time, I produced a list from the ether, taking it in my hands and beginning to read. “One-hundred and eight people are now dead because of this attack,” I told them. “The oldest was a 77-year-old man named Titus Graff, who had come to witness the event in memory of his departed wife,” I said, taking note as the young man who called himself Cooper started to squirm. “The youngest was a six-year-old girl who was affectionately known as Blossom. She and her father are now dead, leaving a family of five now turned to three.” I turned from the list to my prisoners. “Are these the ones who threaten your king? Your ‘empire,’ as you call it? What harm could an old man and a little girl possibly bring against you?”

“We didn’t mean-” Cooper tried to speak yet again, only to be interrupted again by his cohort.

“Shut the hell up! She is trying to get at you!” he snarled, turning back to me with a hatred so deep that it seemed to burn from the depths of the earth. “False prophetess, you need to leave. I have nothing to say to you.”

“I am trying to save your life. A whole kingdom wishes for your blood, for your corpse to be paraded down the streets to be spat upon,” I said. It was the truth- not a reality I would let come to pass, but one that my people clearly desired. “I am willing to let you live- I wish for you to live, but I need the truth from the both of you if I am to keep you alive. So please, give me cause to spare your life!”

Cooper, as I suspected, broke immediately. “I’ll speak, I promise!”

The older turned to him so quickly that I almost did not have time to react. The wizened man gave a roar and raised his hand so as to kill his companion- and found himself flung into the wall, my hand holding them there as Hearth Fire called for additional officers. When help arrived and had entered the cell, the older conspirator was taken away to a padded cell in Isolation, where I granted Hearth Fire his request of a personal interrogation. “Words are needed- not pain,” I reminded my Commander. “He will face justice, do not seek to mete it out yourself.”

“But Your Majesty,” he protested. “The lives this man has helped to destroy-”

“Are my concern, and my responsibility,” I said firmly. “There is enough blood in the air, Commander. Do not add to it.”

Hearth Fire was displeased, but accepted my words, and called for Ford to take his place as my guard, letting the battle-hardened soldier turn to his duty.

Cooper, who had not moved from his corner in the cell, sat there trembling with fright at the sight of me, looking as though he were an abused animal cowering from his masters. He was young- very young, a mere boy. I hurt for him. Perhaps against better judgement, I came close to the cell doors, reaching my hand through the bars for his. “Come here, young one,” I said, my voice calm and quiet.

Ford, who was standing behind me, took a breath. “Princess!”

“Not a word, please,” I said hurriedly, not taking my eyes off Cooper. “Cooper, I will not harm you. Please, come here.”

Terrified at the prospect, Cooper slowly, carefully crept forth and put a shaking hand into mine as though he expected my hand to break his. I gave him a smile, trying to soothe his nerves. Despite what he had done, what he had helped to accomplish, all I could see before me was a child.

“Cooper, am I your enemy?” I asked of him.

Cooper’s fear did not diminish, but he gave a tremulous shake of his head. “No, ma’am,” he said.

“Then please, relax. I wish you no harm or pain. I am merely trying to find out what happened, and why you are here.”

“That little girlie you mentioned,” he said. “Is she really dead?”

“Yes. She truly is,” I said, unable to keep the tightness from my own voice.

Cooper flinched as though struck, tears starting to flow from his eyes. “She was my neighbor,” he hiccuped. “I didn’t think we were going to hit the Square, just- somewhere, like a dock, or, or…”

“What were you a part of?” I asked him.

“We all knew each other. You know, Griffon Kingdom immigrants stick together,” he said. His face suddenly flashed with fear. “Do my parents know I’m here?” he asked.

“I do not know.”

“Please, don’t let them know this happened,” he pleaded. “They don’t know nothing about this, they never knew. I- I kept it secret-like from them.”

“I will do my best, but Cooper, I need you to tell me the truth about what happened. Why did they arrest you? What did you hope to accomplish?”

“The Manehatten cops, they push the Griffon folks around a lot. There’s been fights and stuff, and they’ve even given some of my family a hard time,” Cooper said. “I just wanted to get them to leave us alone, so Harrier there asked me if I wanted some revenge and stuff. We started breaking windows and things, I thought that’d be it! I didn’t think…”

“Did you not know they were planning to bomb the city?” I asked.

“Naw! I swear, I didn’t! I thought we was gonna blow up a boat or something, I didn’t- I didn’t… want to kill nobody…” Cooper’s face was streaked with tears that simply would not cease. “Can you make sure my folks stay OK? I don’t want them to get hurt cause of me.”

“I’ll have them moved to somewhere safe. Where they’ll be accepted and at peace,” I promised him.

“If I tell you who the rest of the guys are- the guys I helped yesterday- will you not kill me?”

“No, of course not,” I said firmly. “Cooper- Cooper, look at me.” His wild eyes locked on to mine. “Cooper, I never, ever wish for the death of another. It is a vile, vile thing to hate someone so much that their life means nothing to you. I do not hate you, I do not hate your friends- or anyone from the Griffon Kingdom. I promise you, your life is safe, no matter what you tell me.”

Cooper tried to stop his tears and failed. “Just- make sure my folks don’t know about this, please,” he said, nothing more than a shame-faced boy. “I’ll tell you everything I know.”

I left, full of the information we needed to track down the rest of the assailants, and my heart breaking for a young man whose life had been ruined by the cruelty and malice of men who knew better.

January 18th, the Year MCCCXLVI

Cooper has been safely transferred to a quiet prison in Van Hoover. His family has not been informed of their son’s involvement, but instead given the information that he was injured during the incident and has come forward with information critical to the investigation. Due to safety concerns, I have had his family discreetly transferred to Ponyville, where they will be in the employ of Twilight, who has begun work on rebuilding a new library for the town. They will be safe, and welcome, there under her watch.

Cooper’s sentence, due to his age and his willingness to aid with the investigation, will likely be lenient. He named every single person involved in the terror cell, a group that was named “The New Breed.” It was a group of eleven, all sworn to secrecy so that not a soul knew beyond their own faces. Two, such as Harrier and Cooper, were captured almost immediately. Two others were found in Baltimare only yesterday, and have been apprehended, meaning we have seven missing fugitives now running across the country.

All borders have been closed, every means of public exit is under watch. Luna’s border guard has taken to the shoreline and the southern border in the hopes we find them first. I pray it will be enough.

The kingdom is grieving. Too many have been killed and hurt, too many from too many places. Little children to the old, it is unacceptable. I wish it were not so.

And still no word from the Griffon Kingdom. I have contacted my ambassador to King Peregrine, Lord Feall, and have sent him to deliver the message personally, along with an armed escort. It will take him some time to make the journey, and even more time to return. Let it be enough. Please, please, let it be enough.

January 20th, the Year MCCCXLVI

Today is a tragedy beyond the scope of all my words or emotions. What am I supposed to feel? Despair? Anger? Fury? Sorrow? I feel them all, more than I ever feared I could. I feel consumed, overwhelmed, and I do not wish for it.

Three more of The New Breed terrorists were found today, brought in by a patrol in the Crystal Empire- perhaps hoping to find asylum in Yakyakistan? I do not know. But it was more than we hoped for, meaning that only four still remain at large, including their cell leader, a man named Merlin. I do not wish for their death, like so many of my people do, but simply to know why it was done… and if King Peregrine has been trying to subvert my kingdom from within.

But worse, far, far worse things have come to pass today. Manehatten is still on edge, alert for the slightest sign of treason. Manehatten is known for many things, but the fanatic loyalty to their homeland has always been one of their defining traits. Today, it has brought about an unspeakable evil.

As Cooper told me in his confession, immigrants from the Griffon Kingdom, even those born here, have faced prejudice for their ties to another kingdom. After the attack on New Year’s, the hatred between them boiled over- albeit very one-sided.

As I held Day Court, I was alerted that a messenger from the City Hall of Manehatten had come to visit, and brought news with him. I ordered for him to be brought before me immediately, eager to hear his news. I believed, as did those present with me, that news of Merlin’s capture had come to rise. What greeted me instead was far worse.

The envoy came before me and immediately I could see she was ill at ease, unable to look me in the eye for even a heartbeat as she spoke, her voice unsteady.

“Your Majesty, an… an incident has occurred this morning in Manehatten,” she said.

“Please, speak louder,” I called. “We all wish to hear your words.”

The messenger would not dare face me, squeezing her eyes shut as though she feared a blow would come. “Your Majesty, I am sorry to bring you ill tidings,” she said.

A group of Griffons were attacked today as they made their way to the local market by a violent gang of Manehattenites, who proceeded to beat every single one of the group until they were killed.

Five lives have been lost today. Two of them were not even adults, merely teenagers. Killed because a group of cowardly, vile people thought they looked like the faces upon a poster.

“And what does the Mayor of Manehatten say in regards to this? What does he say to the families of those who now suffer?” I was seething.

“He- he regrets the incident, Your Majesty,” the messenger replied, her words becoming all the more unsteady. “He calls it a tragic accident-”

“Accident?” I cried, my anger spilling over and falling like a crashing wave. The air became scorched, my voice boomed like a crack of thunder as a fury unlike anything I have felt before came forth. “A senseless, baseless murder is called an accident!? We have justified the hatred of thousands today, an entire kingdom has been judged to be hateful and cruel because of the actions of these bloody few!” The room fell to one knee, all faces turned from my sight as though they could not bear the sight of my anger. “Bring this message to your Mayor! The entire city of Manehatten will mourn for three days, with nothing but bread and water as their sustenance. The Griffons who dwell there in that city will be brought gift and mementos of sorrow, as confessions for this crime. There will be no work, but days of mourning for all who have lost their lives- no matter the land that they call home! For the cruel, violent actions of a hateful few have brought us to shame! Now, GO!”

The messenger fled from my presence and I turned to all who remained in my sight, with not a one able to look upon me so great was my fury. “We shall not hate them!” I commanded, the fire in my voice palpable. “They have brought pain and sorrow against us, but they are not our enemy, no human life is our enemy! The enemy is within us, buried deep within our hearts and it waits, it prowls like a lion waiting for the kill. Do not mistake yourself, for it is crouching at your door- so master it!”

Day Court was brought to a prompt end as I left the throne room, my words burning like fire against my mouth, and not a soul able to withstand the sight of me.

January 28th, the Year MCCCXLVI

A freezing, merciless rain has fallen across much of the kingdom these past few day. I have ordered, for the safety of my citizens, that much of the businesses and schools be shut down until the ice thaws. Only my guards roam the streets now, as safely as I can manage.

I am worn down. It seems as though the whole world grieves now, for all the senseless carnage and violence that has been brought about these woeful days of this young year. It weighs upon us all, even the earth cries tears for the bloodshed.

The New Breed has been captured in whole. Merlin is being held in Manehatten, awaiting an interrogation that I personally will oversee. I will be leaving in two days to take part in the event. Hopefully it will be enough to learn the truth, for Lord Feall has sent no word since his departure to the Griffon Kingdom.

My court has been busy these past few days- not with the hateful words of many, or the violence of a few, but instead with an outpouring of kindness that has brought me low in grief. So many have sent gifts to the palace with the hopes that they will be distributed to the victims of those who were slain. Several beautiful gifts have been sent by Griffon families, who seem to feel a responsibility for what has transpired. It is as though a grief has fallen upon us all. Words of kindness and love from so, so many…

I was greeted by a visitor in Day Court today. Fancy Pants, a somewhat pompous but well-meaning man who has been part of the Canterlot elite for some time, came by. A well-spoken man, he paid visit to the Day Court and inquired as to the specific problems that have arisen from the attack, and whether or not he could help bring about any aid to the matter. As much as I wish otherwise, I told him that merely time and patience would be enough to start repairing the brokenness that has been brought about.

Fancy Pants, however, did not seem satisfied. “I do hope that you do not find me stubborn, Your Majesty,” he said. “However, if there are still efforts being made in the recovery… I know a few souls who would be willing to –how could I put it?- throw some money at it all.”

“I am sure it would be appreciated it,” I replied.

“And… if it does indeed become a problem, Your Majesty… several of my companies are always hiring. If, say, a certain group, was in desperate need of employment, I would be happy to oblige. There’s always enough to go around, I always say.”

“It would be most welcome,” I said, taken aback by his kindness. As he departed, a messenger bearing letters of good tidings came, written by thousands across the kingdom as they wished well those who suffered, offering love, hope, and prayers for the many. In such direct contrast to the hatred and fear and rage that had been so prevalent, this outpouring of ceaseless, unrelenting love was overwhelming.

The day could not go quickly enough, the time for me to lower the sun inching forward oh so slowly. Finally, when the moment had arrived, I lowered it quickly and returned to my chambers, desiring no food or rest for my soul.

These people were gone. Dead, gone- forever, never to see their friends and loved ones again. No longer would they feel the warmth of their beloved, no longer did their hearts beat. Instead, they had been brought to a heinous, fearful, painful end by such unfeeling hatred. And how had we responded? With hatred of our own. Uncaring, merciless hatred- only for it to be silenced by such great, great love. And here I was, having to oversee it all, because I was Princess and it was my duty; but I could not bear to see such things. The sight and stink of death consumed me in my wholeness.

“If there is someone outside, please enter,” I called, my voice threatening to break and shatter before me. Quietly, as though unwilling to intrude, a soft-footed figure knelt before me, revealing Ford had been on guard outside the door. “Ford- you shouldn’t be here now, you need-”

“I am where my Lady needs me to be,” he said, his voice easily audible through the doors he had just shut behind him, threatening himself to be revealed. He took my hands in his, and in his eyes I saw the desperation and sadness he felt because of my own sorrow. “Please…”

“I failed them,” I said. “They are dead, and I could do nothing to stop it,” I said, already the tears beginning to form within my eyes. “I cannot stop it.”

“You have done such good,” he said. “You have inspired love within your people, and they will follow you to whatever end. Because they believe that your words, your convictions, are right at heart.”

Unable to bear it all a moment longer, I fell into his arms and wept, overwhelmed by the love that had been brought against such terrible darkness.

January 31st - March 3rd, MCCCXLVI

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January 31st, the Year MCCCXLVI

Merlin’s interrogation was only just completed early this morning. What has been revealed was both welcome and disturbing. There may be more to this situation than what we have seen unfold.

My departure from Canterlot was delayed, and I did not arrive in Manehatten with my company until the evening had already settled. Hearth Fire accompanied me, as well as a spare few of the Royal Guard. Ford stayed behind, keeping watch over the rest until our return.

When we arrived at the station, our presence appeared to be a disturbing one for those that greeted us. The Manehatten Police Commissioner himself welcomed us, though he too seemed displeased at our arrival. Nevertheless, we were taken to the observation room just outside where the interrogation was taking place.

“What has he said so far?” Hearth Fire asked of him.

“Little, beyond rhetoric and curses,” the Commissioner replied. “He has a particular hatred of the country- particularly that of you, Your Majesty. I would request that you do not reveal yourself, in case it worsens his temper.”

“What has he said of me?” I asked.

The Commissioner turned his face from me, apparently embarrassed. “Your Majesty, I hesitate to repeat his word aloud. Again, I would insist that you do not show yourself to him.”

“What information do we have on him?”

The Commissioner snapped his fingers and a folder of paperwork was summoned forth and slammed on the table before us. “Forty-five years of age, no major criminal record, one arrest four years ago for loitering, a second a year ago for public intoxication. No record of violent behavior though there have been altercations with the Manehatten police from that district more than once. All those part of The New Breed originate from Merlin’s home district.”

“Where was he born?” I demanded.

“Griffon Kingdom immigrant, arrived here fifteen years ago,” the Commissioner answered. “Arrived with a visa, became a citizen two years later. Has a contract with the Port and Trade Commission.”

I thought it over, the decision already perfectly clear in my mind from the moment I entered the room. “I will speak with him,” I declared.

The entire room went silent, every eye of every policeman and investigator in the room now bearing upon me.

“Your Majesty, I cannot force you, but do not enter that room. He hates you to the point of bloodlust. He is already demented, you may only make him worse!” The Commissioner protested.

“Is there any record of mental health issues?” I challenged.

“Well, no-”

“Then I trust his sanity, even if it is enraged,” I said. “There is no open motive to this sort of monstrosity, and I want to know what caused such a change.” Without giving them time to respond, I swept from the room and headed into the interrogation chamber.

“Holy sh- hail, Her Majesty!” came the cry of the investigator, who immediately fell to his knee. Across the table, bound to the wall by chains, was a hawk-eyed man with a furrowed brow, his gaze locked upon me as though he was an eagle who had caught sight of his prey.

“You may leave, investigator,” I said calmly, gesturing towards the door. “I would like to speak to him.”

“Uh- oh, uh, yes, Your Majesty,” he stammered, grabbing his things and positively fleeing the room.

It was now only me and the first mass murderer of Equestria’s modern-day. I settled down in the empty seat before me, my gaze studying every inch of the man who sat chained before me.

“I want to strangle you,” he said, stating it so plainly that it hardly seemed worth any emotion to spend.

“I do not doubt it,” I replied, knowing full well he was trying to goad me. “I would not be unhappy if you told me why.”

“You torment my people. My brothers die. My family starves and burns, and you act like an innocent goddess above it all,” he said. “Is that enough?”

“Unfortunately, it is not. I wish to know what you mean by it all.” I smoothed out a wrinkle on my skirt before returning to him. “Merlin is your name, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Is it your only name?”

“It is the only name I have ever known.”

“May I ask you a question, Merlin?”

“Only if I get to ask one of you,” he answered.

“Certainly,” I said agreeably, keeping my tone serene even as his anger mounted. “Merlin, you came to our shores many years ago- you even became a citizen of my kingdom, and I was happy to have you. You have worked hard all these years, raised a family. What has caused such a change of heart, to attack those who you call your countrymen?”

Merlin snarled. “I came here on a lie. That your country loved all who tread upon its land. That all could have a place here. Yet what have I known since I’ve became one of your people? Hatred. Bigotry. Being reviled simply because I was not born here. Distrust because I wore the threads and colors of my family’s homeland. All of these police here? They have watched me, waited for an excuse to hate me ever since I arrived. They taunt me- taunt and torment my people, and all we wanted to do is make a living! We are being extorted and treated like rats!”

“Do you want me to help put a stop to it?” I asked.

Merlin appeared taken aback. I could not tell what had surprised him more, my willingness to believe his words or that his fire had not summoned forth my own. Either way, for a time he sat there stunned. “It doesn’t matter now,” he said finally.

“Because of what you have done?”

“Because there is no turning back now. Because we were not the ones to strike the first blow.”

“Merlin, I may not be able to spare you from a life in prison, but I do not bear hatred towards any of your kin. If there is a way for me to help break the cycle then I will do so-”

“Tell me, woman,” Merlin said angrily. “Why did you attack my home?”

I did not know what he meant. “Excuse me?”

“A little over a year ago, one of your ‘people’ was in the capital city of Griffonstone, and he helped cause a riot that killed twenty people. Eleven months ago, a gang of Equestrian roughnecks burned down a series of farms on the northern shore. Six months ago, in Griffonstone again, another group started attacking young women and children simply for the sake of hating my kin.” Merlin tugged at his chains and I knew his every instinct was to reach out and harm me. “Shipments from your shores, meant to carry crops, come empty. Unrest and threats against the king are made, we are hated and harassed even in our homeland, and more and more your people that have come to the Kingdom’s shores cause unrest. You have brought war upon us!”

Merlin’s rage reached its peak and he immediately spluttered, falling back against his seat and collapsing. He was spent, his every ounce of hatred having worn him ragged until he could hold it no longer. I let the silence fall like a curtain as he soaked in his anger, reveling in the fire and strength it gave him.

“Merlin, tell me something, and I need to know the truth,” I said slowly. “If these accusations are true, then why have none of them reached my ears? Why has no word been sent to me? Your old King remains silent, even as I tried to reach him and understand what had caused this. Yet he says nothing. Are you certain you have not been lied to? Manipulated into hate?”

“I know they are true,” he said furiously. “For one of those who was killed was my brother. I hope that you understand what it means to lose someone like that.”

Unable to answer him, I thanked Merlin for his honesty and departed the room, summoning Hearth Fire to my side as we left the scene.

“Do you actually believe what he said in there, Your Majesty?” Hearth Fire asked of me as we left the city.

“I do not know yet,” I replied. “But the grief and anger he holds at the loss of his brother is genuine, of that I have no doubt.”

“How are we to know whether or not this is true, then?” he asked.

“Send word to Ambassador Faell immediately, see if he can ascertain whether or not it is true. His ship should have arrived on the Griffon shores by now. If he can determine the truth, then –and only then- will we move forward.”

“What if what he says is false?”

“Then he is just another pawn in the game. Manipulated to bring suffering against us and stoke the fires of war.”

“And if he speaks the truth?”

The truth was a far worse alternative. “Then someone is manipulating us both,” I replied.

February 27 - 28th, the Year MCCCXLVI

Lord Faell has returned, and little is well. His arrival was faster than I had expected, and brings the exact kind of news no reasonable soul wished to hear.

I was first forewarned of Lord Faell’s arrival yesterday, being told that he had arrived in the Baltimare port early that morning- and that his injuries were being treated at a nearby hospital.

“Injuries?” I echoed, wondering if I had misheard.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” the messenger answered. “The entire crew of the ship is also currently hospitalized as they are being treated for similar injuries. The ship, The Lucky Maiden, is also being drydocked so as to undergo repairs.

“What did they say happened?” I demanded.

“Lord Faell refuses to give an explanation until he sees you, Your Majesty. The crew is also maintaining their silence. Lord Faell was requesting to see you immediately.”

I obliged, making for an immediate departure to Baltimare, arriving at the Memorial Hospital where Lord Faell was being cared for. When I found him, his face was heavily bruised and marked with a number of gashes that looked to be knife wounds.

“Your Majesty,” he said, trying to stand on his feet and failing.

“Do not try to move,” I implored. “What has happened?”

“Your Majesty, we… we never even met King Peregrine,” Lord Faell said. “I am sorry, but I believe the Griffon Kingdom wants war.”

“Tell me everything- right from the beginning, and spare no details,” I commanded him.

And so he did. As soon as Lord Faell had made landfall on the Griffon shores the sailing party was treated as though they were criminals, with the ship being thoroughly searched for weapons and contraband. After two days of thorough interrogation and vetting of each soul aboard, Lord Faell and the ship’s crew were transported to Griffonstone where they were kept, imprisoned for several days. With little food and water, the entire group was viciously attacked on the regular before finally being returned to their ship- a move I did not fully understand.

“Why send you back?” I asked of him. “You are the ambassador to the Griffon Kingdom, a powerful political hostage. What motive is there for returning you to our shores?” It did not make sense in my mind.

“My lady, they treated us without mercy- without compassion or reason, I do not understand it!” Lord Faell replied, looking stricken as the memories overtook him. “They sent us back as a warning, I believe. That all those who fall under your banner are to be treated likewise, if not worse.”

As panicked as he seemed, I needed him to be of his right mind. “Lord Faell, listen to me. I need to know this- I have received information that some Equestrians who have been in the Griffon Kingdom have been causing trouble on their shores- deaths and destruction, even. Can you confirm this to be true?”

“What..? No, Your Majesty, they would have let me know, I swear it!” he replied.

“Then I need you to heal, and rest. Your work is done for now, so do what you must to care for your wounds. Thank you, Lord Faell,” I said, taking my leave and returning to Canterlot.

The moment I arrived, I called for a meeting of the council, summoning forth every able mind and military leader at my disposal, even recalling Luna from her patrols in the wildlands. The meeting lasted late into the night, with little consensus on the matter.

“I understand your concerns, gentlemen, all of them,” I said. “However, I refuse to believe that King Peregrine, who has long been the sole voice of reason within the Griffon Empire would suddenly conspire against us, particularly when there is no real advantage!”

“Your Majesty, the Griffons have long been unstable politically,” Lord Ghallus, of the Western Provinces, replied. “Their culture has always been war-like, it was only a matter of time before King Peregrine began to follow in the same footsteps as his forebears.”

“They have a powerful military culture, but little way of sustaining it without Equestrian trade,” Hearth Fire said. “They would be seeking a war against a very powerful source of life for their kingdom. It does not make sense in the least.”

Despite my misgivings on the matter, my council simply did not agree, fearing that the long-awaited war between our two kingdoms had finally arrived. I could do little to convince them otherwise. “Luna!” I called for my sister, who had remained unusually silent throughout the deliberations. “Please, say something sensible that will silence this chaos!”

All eyes turned to my sister, whose features were shrouded in darkness and remained unreadable. “The Griffon Kingdom is a warrior’s culture. They are proud, valiant fighters- and never request aid if they can help it. Their farmlands were tainted centuries ago by poisons and disaster, and have yet to recover. If their empire is becoming so desperate for food that their survival was threatened… yes, they would attack. I have no doubt of it,” Luna surmised. “However, there is no way to tell if that is the matter. Equestria has remained safe for centuries because there is no military power strong enough to overcome the power we hold- Equestria’s well-trained military, as well as you and I- and now Twilight and Cadance to boot. We are a widespread territory, and difficult to occupy. It would be a hard gamble if they believed they could take us on.”

“So your point is?” I asked, feeling irritated at how deftly she avoided a true answer.

“The point is that there is no real way of knowing for sure unless we confirm it ourselves,” she replied. “If you wish, I can send a team into the Griffon Kingdom to perform recon and find out what’s really going on. I have a well-trained team of former Griffon soldiers that would be happy to do it.”

“How soon can they make landfall?”

“If the weather is good, three days. I have had them awaiting the order ever since the New Year’s attacks.”

“Send them,” I ordered, before turning to the council. “As for the rest of us, begin warning your provinces to stockpile food. Prepare local militias and increase security along the shoreline. Until Luna’s team returns with real, hard information on what the Griffon Kingdom is planning, we will not initiate an assault. I will not be held responsible for starting a potential genocide, not when there has been peace for hundreds of years. You are dismissed!”

The grumbling was severe, but I held my ground. Exhausted from the day’s long events, I raised the sun for the morning and informed my soldiers that there was to be no Day Court before retiring to my chambers, too exhausted to even fall asleep.

Eventually, after what seemed like hours, slumber found me, and the next thing I saw was that evening had slowly come about. Quickly rushing to set the sun for the day, I again retired back to my chambers.

There was a knock on the door, revealing it to be Commander Hearth Fire. “I bring word from your sister, Your Majesty,” he reported. “Her team will make landfall sometime tomorrow night. They expect their mission to last approximately a week before they can ascertain the truth.”

“Thank you, Commander,” I said to him, taking note of the dark circles around his eyes. “You are exhausted. Get some rest.”

“You hardly seem to have rested yourself, Your Majesty,” he countered. “I know that you negated much of your duties for the day, but I would insist that you have something to eat before I retire for the night.”

His words were sensible, and I saw them as such. “Yes, you are correct. Something simple, I believe.”

“I will send one of my soldiers to bring you something from the kitchens,” he said. “And, Your Majesty?”

“Yes, Commander?”

He hesitated. “We… will follow no matter what end comes,” he said before shutting the door behind him.

They feared the future. Hearth Fire, like any other soldier, knew what the cost would be if war broke out. He was a demanding taskmaster but cared deeply for his soldiers- as they cared for one another. These soldiers had family, spouses, children, friends, and loved ones that they wished to see again and again, not once and evermore as they descended into the earth. The reality of what potential losses lay ahead were real to them. The thought was a lonesome one, and I suddenly found myself wishing for company. Luna would be busy dealing with her operation, I could not ask it of her, and I hadn’t seen Ford in days.

As though on cue, there was a knock at the door and Ford revealed himself, holding a small tray of food in his hands. “I believe you requested a small meal,” he said, setting it on the nightstand beside my bed. His face was heavy and tired- had the Solar Guard not rested throughout this time? However, when he turned to face me, his eyes burned with light as they rested upon my own. “Are you alright?”

“Come to me,” I begged of him, throwing my arms around him as the two of us fell, exhausted, to the ground where we became so intertwined with one another that we became too weary to rise. Finally, after such a time had passed, I relinquished him from my arms. “Promise me something,” I said to him.

“Anything,” Ford replied.

“Live,” I said, leaning in and kissing him gently, time and time again. “Live through this and stay with me.”

Ford smiled at me, a bittersweet thing that shone like a dying sun that faded into night. “Don’t ask for a promise I may not be able to keep,” he warned, kissing me back as we spent our night together.

March 3rd, the Year MCCCXLVI

To the Royal Palace of the Sun and Moon, concerning Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria,

Hail from your neighbors beyond the waters! I, King Peregrine, Son of King Lanner, Lord of the Four Houses, call for your wisdom in troubling times.

To the Princess of Equestria, I request that the contents of this letter be read in private, far away from prying eyes of those around you. I will not provide specific details on paper in case it is traceable, but I wish to inform you that all is not well in the land of the Griffons.

As your ally across the sea, I request a personal visit from Your Majesty so as to discuss these matters in haste, for I am greatly concerned as to troubling news that has only reached my ears very recently. I believe there is trouble brewing within my kingdom, and I wish for you as an advisor in these matters, before the situation deteriorates too rapidly.

I will explain more in person. I have reason to believe spies have become involved. Please move in haste.

King Peregrine,

Son of King Lanner, of the line of Montagu,

Lord of the Four Houses

A copy of the letter I received from King Peregrine this morning. Finally, after two months, a true response, one I did not expect whatsoever.

Our departure is set for three days from now. The entirety of the Royal Guard will be accompanying me, as well as a pair of ships from the Royal Navy acting as guard. Perhaps now, after all this time, we will find the truth we have been seeking.

March 7th - March 14th, the Year MCCCXLVI

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March 7th, the Year MCCCXLVI

Our departure began in the late morning, the ship made ready and we sail from the Manehatten harbor. As the dying throes of winter still maintain a hold on the kingdom, my best sailors have predicted we will experience some tumultuous weather as we travel, bringing the length of our journey to approximately a week.

Our vessel is the Lady’s Grace, my personal vessel for whenever duties have required I leave Equestria’s shores. She is a beautiful craft, and sails peacefully, and we cut through the water as cleanly as a knife through butter. She will likely experience punishment at the hands of nature, but I have no reason to fear; it is made for such dangers and I know our ship shall sail through wonderfully.

The Royal Guard is somewhat in flux at the moment, very few of my soldiers ever having sailed- or even journeyed across water, save for the calm weather of a lake or pond. The sea is a wild creature, untamable and vast. Some of the passengers have already begun to experience seasickness, and I doubt the trouble will dispel itself before we make landfall. As much as I wish otherwise, those who fare poorly will simply have to endure the unpleasantness of the trip.

Hearth Fire, as always, is indomitable, and has taken to the situation without any hesitation, or outward signs of discomfort. The Royal Guard, at least those among them that can still perform their duties, maintain the ship alongside her crew. Ford, as I have noticed, is being kept busy across the entire vessel. Hearth Fire has been pushing him to great lengths lately, and I began to be concerned as to the nature of what seemed almost to be torment.

“Rest assured, Your Majesty, I mean no ill will towards him,” Hearth Fire told me when I asked it of him- discreetly, of course. “I merely intend to push his limits, and see where they stand. He is exceptionally gifted- I wish to see what he can do.”

“You believe by exhausting him you can see his mettle?” I asked.

“Not exhaustion, but what he can accomplish, and absorb, under duress,” Hearth Fire answered. “He is a one-in-a-million talent. If he is as capable as I believe him to be, Corporal Ford will go down in history as one of the greatest soldiers we have ever known.”

“We can only hope so,” I said, dismissing him so I could turn to write in this very diary.

Ford! It has been several days since we were last able to be with one another, duty or simply lack of privacy separating us. He bears it well, my presence and my voice seemingly enough to carry him. Perhaps memories of me buoy his spirits. I, however, have found myself to need him on a more physical level. His touch, his warmth, all that he is- I crave it. For a time, due to our duties, I will simply have to grin and bear it.

A week of travel, and who knows how much time we will have to spend in the Griffon Kingdom, then our return journey. It is a great deal of time- far too much for a poor, lovestruck girl to be kept away from her beloved.

March 10th, the Year MCCCXLVI

I suppose I should feel some semblance of shame about it all, but I cannot help but laugh at the situation. Really, it is unfair. Poor Ford, I should not torment him so.

I have been, as they say, under pressure. Having Ford so nearby, yet so inaccessible, has been tortuous to me. I wished to find ways to spend our time aboard this ship together, but found no truly discreet way of accomplishing such a task. Such a burden I found too unpleasant to bear, so I decided to spend my time with him in a public setting, with as much discretion and formality as I could manage.

All the while, teasing him relentlessly.

I should truly feel, at the very least, some semblance of shame about this. Ford is furious with me, in his own way. But, if I must admit, the fun of it was too good to ignore.

The weather has been unusually fair since our journey began, and we have been making good progress. Despite our steady movement west, I found myself restless. There is little to do out at sea when you are merely a passenger, and all my manners of state and daily duties were absent, left behind on Equestria’s shores. I struggled to keep focus. I meditated, but found it helped little. The sound of the sea was all I could hear- and then came in the voices. Not within my head, but those of the crew and my loyal soldiers. Ford’s voice, as clear to me as the open sky, rang in my ears. Finding myself distracted, I crept towards the door of my cabin and listened in, hearing him share words with another of his fellows.

“How much further do you think we have?” his friend asked of him.

“About halfway. Three more days or so, from what the crew says. Weather seems to be holding, too,” Ford replied.

“What are we expecting to see when we get there?”

“For us, we will likely be in the palace for our time here. Wherever the Princess goes, so shall we.”

“Tell me something, Corporal,” his friend said, his voice lowering and I struggled to hear his words. “Is it true, about King Peregrine?”

“What about him?”

“They say his personal guards are all women. Particularly… well-endowed women, is what I have heard.”

Ford, to his credit, laughed the suggestion away. “And where in heaven did you hear of such a thing?”

“The crew has made mention of it. I am eager to see if the stories are true.”

“You will find out either way. And even if you do, you know you’ll need to leave them to their duties,” Ford said firmly. “A scandal breaking out during peace talks is the last thing we need.”

“It is easy for you to say, they would adore you,” his friend replied. “You hardly have to raise your head to garner looks from the womenfolk.”

“As I have told you, I hardly have reason to care,” Ford said. “I am satisfied enough with what I have.”

“Too mysterious. You give no one any of your heart at all, not even that scullery maid who doted on you. Is your service all that you have?”

I could not help but reveal myself, the opportunity too good to let pass by. I strode out from my cabin and onto the main deck, finding Ford and a fellow Guardsman perched atop a series of crates beside the door, my presence sending them stumbling to their feet.

“Your Majesty! Is anything the matter?” Ford asked, his eyes betraying himself at the sight of me.

“Hardly. You may rest, gentlemen,” I told them. “I merely wished to enjoy the sun and the sound of the sea when I heard voices outside my cabin.”

“Guard duty, Your Majesty,” his fellow said. “We were lucky this day to receive an afternoon shift.”

I stared out and took in the glorious surroundings. A warm breeze on the air, beautiful skies with hardly a cloud in the sky, the ocean clear and bright beneath us. They had gotten lucky indeed.

“I do not believe I recognize you two,” I said, trying to hide a smile at Ford’s instant confusion. “Corporal… Ford, is it? And your fellow?”

“Uh- Sergeant Hallas, Your Majesty,” Ford answered, trying to shake the obvious uncertainty at my goals. Despite his best, his eyes still betrayed him plainly: What are you doing?

“Tell me a bit of yourself, Corporal,” I said, a small grin beginning to form on my face. “Do you have a family to call your own? A spouse, children?”

Ford’s confusion only grew from there. “No… no, Your Majesty, I do not.”

I feigned surprise. “Surely a man such as yourself has had to push away suitors to maintain such a status!”

Ford began to go red. “Well- I do have one at the moment, Your Majesty,” he blustered. “She is quite dear to me.”

“I am glad to hear it. I assume she is quite fond of you as well. Has the thought of marriage ever entered your mind?”

Ford somehow began to choke on the very air, coughing violently as his composure continued to crumble. “Uh- holy, what are you- Your Majesty, I wouldn’t even begin to know how to broach the subject,” he said, his face now a deeper red than any I had ever seen before.

“Surely she has hopes for such a thing!” I protested. “You wouldn’t want to keep a lady waiting for too long, would you?”

“I- I guess not, Your Majesty,” he said weakly. “She is just… it would be a bit of a shock, I think, for some.”

I feigned suspicion. “Is this someone I know, Corporal? Not one of my nobles, is it?”

“No, Your Majesty! But- uh, I guess you do know her, uh… a little.”

“Hmm…” I began to pace back and forth, pretending to be deep in thought. “Is she beautiful?”

“Cert-ainly, Your Majesty,” Ford said.

“Graceful?”

“Without a doubt.”

“Intelligent?”

“Far more than I, Your Majesty,” he said.

“Hmm…” I crept closer to him until we were eye level, peering at him with such intensity that Ford began to tremble, his hands twitching as they desired to reach out for me, to caress my face as he had done so often- as much as I desperately wish for him to do so myself.

I smiled wisely, giving a small laugh. “Your secret is safe with me, Corporal. I wish you both happiness,” I said. “Please, can you tell me where Commander Hearth Fire is at the moment? I wished to discuss some formalities of our visit with him.”

Ford struggled for words so greatly that I realized he would be unable to speak. Sergeant Hallas realized the same thing, and managed to supply me with the information. After a glowing goodbye, me giving Ford a knowing wink and a remark about his ‘dear lady’ I departed, listening as I heard Ford give a bullish roar of agony, while his fellow laughed in delight.

At the end of the day, when the moon was high in the sky and I found myself wearisome, I returned to my cabin, finding a small, crumpled note placed neatly upon by bed. I opened it and read,

I love you.

But please never do that again. I can’t take it.

~ Ford

Laughing to myself, I took the note and dipped a quill in ink, writing on the opposite side of the paper:

Only because you asked.

Love you. You make me proud.

~ Tia

Ford is far too serious for his own good. I wish he would let himself relax.

March 12th, the Year MCCCXLVI

The crew has been difficult today, Hearth Fire and I have been trying to negotiate with them for much of the day. It has been so long since I last traveled across the seas that I have forgotten how tightly sailors hold to their superstitions.

We are nearing the shores of the Griffon Kingdom. If we remain on course, we shall reach their primary port come late morning. However, the ship’s crew wish to remain at sea for an additional day, fearing disaster may come if we make landfall tomorrow- for tomorrow is the 13th, and the number brings ill luck.

Hearth Fire has been less patient than I, leaving me to struggle with my own frustrations as well as be the ambassador between the crew and my soldiers, all the while I insisting that we continue our journey and make landfall as quickly as possible.

Our captain, a wild-looking woman named Amancia Wave, simply refused to budge, no matter our insistence. To finally convince her took a very rare resort for me, to issue a royal command and sail us into port. I wish I could have avoided it, but I will not allay the fears of superstitious mariners for the sake of avoiding a catastrophic war that will save thousands of lives, if not tens of thousands. Captain Amancia was not pleased, but knew better than to outright refuse a direct order from her ruler.

We will arrive around noon, when the sun is high. After that, it will be a day’s journey till we reach Griffonstone- and then the real work will begin.

March 13th, the Year MCCCXLVI

Landfall! Much to the relief of my seasick soldiers, we came ashore at Osprey Port this morning. When we arrived, a royal party of King Peregrine’s court officials were there to greet us, Ambassador Faell riding ahead to ensure our arrival is known. We will join him there late tonight; despite my hopes, all official business will be conducted tomorrow and beyond.

Currently, we are making our way inland, a royal coach transporting myself and Commander Hearth Fire, while the rest of the Royal Guard travel comfortably in the passenger trains. We are well guarded, and I have no doubts that Hearth Fire’s preparations for this journey are adequate.

Still, something about this unnerves me. The Griffon Kingdom guards traveling with us remain uneasy. They look upon us –upon me- with fear. The tales of Equestrian folk raising havoc on their shores ring clearly in my mind. I worry that the tales may be true after all.
I hope King Peregrine will be able to explain more. Hearth Fire hopes this is not an elaborate setup for a trap. If it truly comes to such a thing...

March 14th, the Year MCCCXLVI

I knew something was amiss. There is too much for me to write down now, and I need time to consider the information myself. But something sinister is at work here, and I fear I am being watched.
Hearth Fire has ordered a constant guard at all times. For once, I believe is hypervigilance has reasoning behind it. Something may indeed strike while we are here.

March 18th, the Year MCCCXLVI

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March 18th, the Year MCCCXLVI

We will be here for several more days. My wounded are simply too precarious to be brought safely back to Equestria until they come to stabilize. I fear that my dead will have to be buried on foreign soul if we find no means of preserving them for a proper funeral. And even then I am unsure the preservation could last the journey back.

I am, for the most part, uninjured. Though I have a few minor scratches and bruises to my name, I am well and healthy. I wish I could claim the same for all of us.

I suppose I should start at the beginning, to help the recollection of my thoughts. Much of what we have seen and dealt with here will likely be used later on. Though we have no lead to follow…

On the 14th of March, I met with King Peregrine, our initial visit set for the early afternoon. On Hearth Fire’s behest, Ford was placed in charge of our initial security, manning the outer doors to the palace as the first barrier to any potential trouble that would force its way into the palace. Everywhere we went, the Royal Guard became intermingled with their Griffon counterparts. All appeared anxious.

King Peregrine awaited us in his throne room. It had been some time since we had last met and I found myself surprised at the state of him. In his younger days, Peregrine had been a powerful warlord, quelling rebellions in the north of his kingdom, and his warfaring had made him lithe and strong. What sat on the throne before me was a fatter, albeit more peaceful man, his eyes as sharp as a bird of prey. Though he greeted me cordially, his yellow eyes betrayed no sense of warmth or welcome. He appeared almost afraid of what could erupt before us.

“Princess Celestia, Keeper of the Sun, Elder of the Royal Sisters, Ruler of Equestria,” he called, rising to his feet as easily as his overweight frame would allow him. He greeted me as an equal, coming to stand before me. “I am glad you were so quick to answer my request for wise counsel. It has been too long since our kingdoms came together in peace.”

“It truly is,” I said, trying to maintain my role of diplomat. “Peace between your kingdom and mine is always welcome.”

“So it is indeed.” Peregrine turned to his side, where his advisors stood alongside Ambassador Faell. “Your ambassador has been hard at work here, you should know. Very dedicated in his means of diplomacy. You should be thankful for him.”

“I have long been grateful for Ambassador Faell’s efforts to maintain relations between our kingdoms,” I replied. “I am glad to hear he works so tirelessly.”

“His work with my advisors has been more than adequate,” Peregrine remarked. “Though much of what I ask is to be asked of you alone. If you would do me the great honor, I would like to speak with you in private, for the matters I wish to discuss with you are of great importance to me.”

It was the perfect opportunity to challenge him in private. The troubles in my own borders needed to be dealt with, and plainer talk would be more beneficial to discovering the truth. “It would be time well spent, I believe.” I turned to Hearth Fire, whose countenance suggested he already found displeasure in my actions. “Please return to the Guard and keep watch. I will join you once I am through.”

“Your Majesty, I wish to remain nearby,” Hearth Fire replied. “For your safety, a guard should be near you at all times.”

“I will be quite safe, Commander,” I said. “You may rest your worries.” Before he could continue his protests, I departed into the palace alongside Peregrine, following him as he led me back into the depths of the building.

“It will not be far,” he said, turning to me. “A place of privacy where I can be assured of secrecy.”

“Do you fear intrusion?” I asked of him.

“I fear worse.” After a multitude of twists and turns, we found ourselves hidden away in a small parlor overlooking the palace courtyard. Peregrine peered out the small window as if searching for prying eyes, doing the same as he crept towards the door, listening for the sounds of life outside. “Thank heaven, no dogged bastard followed us.”

In that moment I recalled his predilection for the roughness of tongue. “What do you search for?”

“Spies, conspirators, the whole damned lot, Celestia,” Peregrine said. “Gods above only know who in hell I can trust anymore. I’m hoping you’re one of the few I can rely on anymore.”

“Peregrine, are you under threat from someone?”

“I wish I could tell you who,” he said, reaching into a nearby cupboard and extracting a bottle of spirits, not even bothering with a glass as he began to wash down the bottle easily. “Damn it all. My kingdom’s been on edge for over a year now and I can’t avail them. It’s all mongrels and bastards out there, Celestia. If they’d just put up a real fight, I’d have them tarred, feathered, and strung up by their cocks along the palace walls.”

“Peregrine- on New Year’s Day my kingdom was attacked,” I said, trying to intrude into his reverie and get his attention. “The attackers were former Griffon Kingdom citizens that called themselves ‘The New Breed’ and claimed to be working as a terror cell for the expansion of their home kingdom- your kingdom.” My tactic worked, Peregrine removing himself from the window and staring at me as though he saw a ghost. “I sent an envoy to your kingdom requesting an explanation and was given only silence. I sent Faell himself and he was attacked before being sent back to my shores. What do you have to say for this? My kingdom wishes to bring war against yours!”

“What in the name of the gods are you talking about?” Peregrine asked. “I’ve got no damned interest in your kingdom, you’ve helped keep my people alive for too bloody long for me to want to change that. Hells and harpies!”

“Some time before that, another Griffon Kingdom citizen helped bomb a damn that killed several of my people in the south of Equestria. When we brought him in, he was found dead in his cell. He too claimed to work for your crown,” I said.

Peregrine had intended to bring news to me, but my words had left him, for the moment, speechless. “Gods and demons, I knew something was amiss!” he hissed, taking another hearty swig of his bottle. “Damn it all, Celestia, I wish I’d asked for you sooner. Someone is playing our kingdoms for damned fools.”

“Have you been attacked as well?”

“Consistently for a year and a half,” he said. “The trouble began in the north and has been striking every major depot and food depository in the kingdom. No decent citizen would attack our food stores- they are critical for the kingdom’s survival of the winter. We lose our food stores, people die. Whoever began the attacks held no regard for the life of my people. Initially we suspected the northern rebellions still held their fire. But then I found some of your former citizens caught red-handed. And they claimed to work for you.”

The rumors were true. Painfully, horrible true. “There could be nothing further from the truth,” I told him firmly. “No citizen of mine would dare commit such an act. Their judgement would be most severe. Equestrians do not wage war lightly.”

“They did it nonetheless. All the evidence was there,” Peregrine said grimly. “We tried them, strung them up, and that was it. They had decided to be part of my people, so I treated them as such. I hoped it would be the end.”

“Was it not?”

Peregrine sighed. “Celestia, you haven’t heard of these tidings before, have you?”

“I heard rumors, but no official word,” I said.

“Bastards! It’s what I feared,” Peregrine said. “Somebody is conspiring against us, Celestia. Someone wants us at war with one another and until now they’ve been intercepting all communications between us to help stoke the fires.”

“Then why let your message requesting me come through?” I asked.

“Hell knows. To have us both in the same place, likely enough,” Peregrine said. “Celestia, I need your advice here. Someone is either trying to get us both killed, or just one of us and have the blame pinned right on the other. I’ve done what I can to bring peace to the Griffons, and the demons below know what sort of things I had to do in order to make it so. But gods above, I want that peace to stay! My people are terrified that the whole world is about to fall on top of them!”

“I understand your concerns,” I said, “but I still do not understand what you request of me.”

“Your presence. In three days I want for the both of us to make a joint speech to the people of Griffonstone, testifying to the good will and prosperity between our two kingdoms. A solid show of force before thousands of people,” he said, his eyes gleaming. “As soon as the speech ends, I’m going to have its words distributed all across the kingdom, along with every shred of evidence and testimony I can against whatever damned insurrectionists have been bombing both our countries back into the Age of the Sword.”

“I can do better, if you wish,” I said. “My Royal Guard are smart. Well-trained, quiet and resourceful. They can be eyes and ears to help discover a potential source. Do you believe any of your noblemen have ill will against you?”

Peregrine harrumphed. “I’d believe it of any of them,” he said, “but I have no means to prove it. I do suspect someone within my palace walls plots against me, but I can’t catch them in it!”

“Let my soldiers help you. They can have your conspirators fall right into your hands,” I urged. “If there is anyone I trust, it is them.”

“And if they, too, are against you?” Peregrine challenged. “What will you do?”

Doubt seeped into my mind for the fleetest of moments before I shook it aside. “They will not,” I said, my mind turning to Ford. “They will be true until the end.”

Peregrine and I said little for the rest of the day, I passing word along to Hearth Fire as to our next move. Late that night, Hearth Fire came and met me in my arranged guest chambers, Ford walking in beside him.

“Your plans have already begun to take root, Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire said. “Corporal Ford was our liaison with the Griffons here. It is not much, but his dealings with the Griffon guards may give us some ideas on where to begin.”

Of course Ford had helped us find our first lead. Who else could I count on to be so consistently reliable? Inside my heart sang, though outwardly I maintained my composure. “You may relax here, Corporal,” I told him. “I need you to speak plainly. And remember, keep your voice low. We are likely being watched.”

“What do you have, soldier?” Hearth Fire asked.

“Only rumors- rumors and remarks from unhappy soldiers,” Ford answered. “However, no soldier, despite his origin, is all that different from any other. They speak freely, and have their own suspicions of who bears ill will.”

“Who do they blame?”
“Some blame the king for their troubles,” Ford said. “Many blame you. Some, however, do think someone within the kingdom is trying to bring about the king’s death. I could not confirm it, but rumor claims that a group of Griffon soldiers were tried and executed for treason to the crown naught ten days ago. Came from the north of the kingdom, I was told.”

“That would be consistent with Peregrine’s remarks of the trouble beginning in the older tribelands,” I remarked. “Was there any named individuals?”

“None, Your Majesty. I am sorry, I do not have much to bring forward. At least not now.”

“It is more than what we started with,” Hearth Fire said gruffly, giving me a glance before returning to Ford. “Corporal… what of our own contingent?”

“Commander!” I said.

“Your Majesty, we have to consider the possibility,” Hearth Fire countered, his voice grave. “Someone has been attacking our kingdom as well. The blame cannot be solely placed on the Griffon Kingdom alone.”

“Do you ask of my fellows, or all who came here with us, sir?” Ford inquired.

“Anything that comes to mind,” Hearth Fire replied.

Ford thought deeply, taking a seat as his mind wandered through the day he had seen and heard. Finally, when all seemed concise in his mind, he looked up and his face bore a great uncertainty. “Your Majesty, they are my brothers. But I do know that some of us have spoken ill of you these past few months. Some are bitter that little seems to be done in regards to the attacks within our own borders. No veiled threats of violence, but there is discontent within our ranks.”

“Who? How many?” Hearth Fire asked, apparently incensed that some of his own men would dare speak ill of me. Sometimes his loyalty bordered on fanaticism.

“Five or six, I would say,” Ford answered, his countenance bowed with the shame of reporting against his fellow soldiers. “Lieutenant Luck’s squad, primarily. He’s outspoken quite often. And… Your Majesty, I am worried about Ambassador Faell.”

“Faell?” It was such unexpected information that I felt slapped by the words. “He himself was attacked by our foes when he journeyed here- on my command. What would make you bring such charges?”

“Has he been absent much of the day? Or did you give him specific orders?”

“I allowed him rest for the day, since much of it was spent with King Peregrine and I in solitude,” I answered.

“Then he has rested little, Your Majesty, for I saw him often throughout my duties,” Ford said. “He appeared on edge, muttering to himself. There would be times we found him speaking with Griffon soldiers, or unknown nobles. Other times I would see him simply looking out at the palace courtyard, as though examining the walls.”

“It is unusual, but not truly worthy of suspicion yet,” Hearth Fire said. “He is an ambassador- that requires constant communication with those he is supposed to mediate.”

“But he speaks as though a brother- and with no fear of them,” Ford replied. “For a man who suffered abuse at the hands of the Griffon Kingdom, he seems to be quite comfortable among them- more than any of us.”

“I will speak with him tomorrow, and see if he has an explanation for his actions,” I said, mollifying Ford’s obvious anxiety regarding the man. “You have done well- particularly for the information regarding our own company.”

“We need to speak with the whole lot of them come morning, Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire said. “Quell this as soon as we can- and see if someone will help prevent a disaster.”

Few slept that night, as though too exhausted to find rest. When I awoke, I found that all I met seemed to bear the countenance my own spirit felt, gazing out into a sunless dawn. Something foul had settled upon this palace.

Peregrine awaited me at breakfast, looking as fitful and uneasy as he had appeared the day before. However, when I requested his presence, a part of him seemed to light with a faint ray of hope. He brought me back to the hidden chamber we had used the day before, and there I divulged what little information I had. It was, as Ford himself said, not much- but it was all we had to work with this early on.

“Dammit, I knew my own bloody soldiers were unhappy, but this- Celestia, I don’t know which of them I can trust! Every single damned one could be guilty of it!” His large frame was bent by the weight of his unhappiness.

“My own soldiers have voiced their displeasure, Peregrine,” I said. “I am going to speak with them assembled, the moment we are done here. I would suggest much of the same to you. Perhaps real word between you and your men would be enough to quiet their bitterness.”

“I certainly hope so. Hell’s bells!” he muttered. “And your ambassador- what has he said in regards to his dealings?”

“Faell says he is ill this morning. Food poisoning, he claims,” I said. “He certainly smells of the vomit, but how timely for him to be kept isolated from the rest of the world.”

“Do you distrust him?”

“I trust the word of my soldiers more than anything,” I said firmly.

Hearth Fire and I arranged a meeting between ourselves and the Royal Guard. None, save for Ford, knew what we desired to speak to them about and even he had been sworn to silence. Peregrine charitably had given our soldiers a spacious barracks building for them to dwell in, and that, we decided, would be the best place for the discussion. A place that would feel somewhat familiar to them could perhaps help some of the more sullen lower their guards.

“Soldiers, you may rest and be comfortable here,” I told them all, watching as a small wave of apprehension washed through the group. “I am not here out of anger against anyone, particularly none of you. I simply wish to talk to all of you at once.”

“All that I ask of you, warriors, is that you answer honestly,” Hearth Fire said. “I know that may make some of you uncomfortable, but it is needed. Especially now.”

I scanned the room and found many seemed eager to avoid my gaze. Eyes darted everywhere throughout the room, looking at anything but Hearth Fire and myself. Some looked uncomfortable, others uneasy. Did they still fear retribution? “Soldiers, all eyes on me,” I said, my voice growing but remaining soft and serene. Slowly, I could feel the gaze of dozens of my soldiers rest upon me and the tension in the room began to lessen. “Soldiers, I am not your enemy. I am proud of you- all of you. And I need the best version of you that you can be. We are under threat, not from King Peregrine and his soldiers, but from a select few. We do not know who, but they are responsible for the deaths of hundreds. Not just those of the Griffons, but your families, friends, the lives of our own in Equestria. Some of you are aware of this, I believe.”

The room rippled with shock, whether genuine or manufactured I did not know. In the back corner, Ford continued to scan the room for any signs of trouble. While Hearth Fire and I played diplomat, he would be the one to retain the role of spy for a little while longer.

“I know there is discontent among you,” I said. “Some of you are angry with me, for what I have done. Do you think I do not look out into our kingdom and wish I could do more to stop what has transpired? That if there was anything I could have done to save their lives, I would not have done so? The lives of your countrymen are dear to me, your lives are dear to me.” I felt a lump rising in my throat and forced myself to swallow it back down. “Please, if there is anger or bitterness held against me, or the Griffon Kingdom, let it come forth and see the light of day. I will not lash out against you, there will be no punishment. I simply wish to heal the wound that has been created.”

The soldiers remained silent, some shuffled uncomfortably where they stood, while others again refused to make eye contact. Finally, a pair of young soldiers came forward and stood before me, kneeling down and laying their swords in their hands. A sign of submission and a request for forgiveness.

“Get up, the both of you,” I commanded, and the two men rose to their feet with the signs of tears in their eyes. “I hold nothing against you. No anger nor fury, no malice or hatred. I simply need to know the truth.”

“Your Majesty, we don’t want to cause trouble,” said the younger of the two, taking the lead for his friend. “We just… we’re fighters. Our homeland got hurt and we didn’t do anything to stop it, or even fight back. We wanted to see justice be done and it seemed like you wanted it to just- well, just- just go on by like nothing happened.”

“Do you wish to see death? Is that what you desired?” I asked of him, and the young man swung his gaze away from me. “Is that what you all desire? To see your enemies strung up like dead animals on a wall? Do you wish to have glory from battle? To bring an enemy to their knees and watch them beg for mercy? Or do you see your foe as a snarling bogeyman, hateful and made of all that is vile?” Though my voice had not grown from anger, none in the room could bear to look at me now, the air becoming electric as my words echoed off rock and wood and iron. Some knew they had just been called out and the shame dragged down their gaze, while others simply could not bear the moment any longer. “You have enjoyed days of peace for an age. Equestria has not known war for over a thousand years. Do you wish for that to break? To see lives lost in conflict that could easily be avoided? For friends and family to fall so you can fulfill your dreams of bloodshed, all in the vain attempt at ‘glory?’ I remember those days, when my sister and I once fought to bring a wild age into order. It was not peaceful times, the memories of it make my skin crawl! If I could have found another way to prevent it all then I would have. So here we are now, at the precipice of another war, one that would trump them all, and we have the means to prevent it. If there are doubts, put them aside now. I need you to keep the peace, not help ignite disaster.”

Little was said afterwards, a few soldiers coming forward and thanking me for my words of wisdom. Some expressed their gladness that they served me, and others wished there was more they could do. Though I was glad of their comfort and loyalty, I knew that some still remained unconvinced, and that not all doubts had been extinguished.

The day before the Proclamation from Peregrine and I, I found myself sleeping fitfully. I awoke and immediately was uneasy, some unseen danger lurking at the very edge of my vision. Was it some sixth sense that foresaw a potential danger, or just fear of the unknown that we now faced? I could not tell. Either way, all I encountered seemed to have fallen under the same fitful spell, leaving us tired and ill at ease.

Hearth Fire and I were escorted to join King Peregrine for breakfast that morning, where he detailed plans for us to survey the courtyard and pavilion of the palace, so as to know where we would be speaking tomorrow. “I also want you to keep an eye open for potential dangers,” he added, speaking more to Hearth Fire than myself. “Strategic points where someone could attempt an assassination, or a weaker spot where security will need to be kept tight. Whatever gaps need to be filled…”

“I will gladly help see it through,” Hearth Fire said courteously. “Though be aware nothing is foolproof.” I found myself surprised at such a statement from him, Hearth Fire always having been confident in all of his plans. What had caused such a thing to escape his lips?

“And I’ll be damned if I don’t know it,” Peregrine replied, his voice hardly above a growl. “Damn it all, if this morning fog doesn’t chill my very bones!”

“It’s certainly taking its time departing,” I remarked. “The sun feels weak.”

“Clouds are heavier than normal today. Hell’s bells, even the air feels thick!” Peregrine said.

As our morning work began, I was unsurprised to see Ford’s squad still remained as the outer guard- the first barrier to whatever external threats would dare enter the palace. I tried to greet him discreetly, but his gaze suggested he took no note of it. Every inch of him was on edge, and if he had hackles they would have been bared. His eyes, sharp and focused, scanned the horizon. He was looking for something. Realizing he was focused elsewhere I relented, turning back to regain focus alongside Peregrine and Hearth Fire.

The pavilion from where we would speak was massive, far more spacious than my Commander was comfortable with. It allowed the most people to be present, but the exposure to the rest of the world was evident even to untrained eyes. Palace turrets had clear lines of sight, as well as the outer wall. Anyone could hide out here and detonate an explosive, or fire one arrow to ruin everything. Hearth Fire hardly spoke, his mind racing to think of solutions to what would be a logistical nightmare. All the while, whatever foul air that fell upon us so lingered, making even walking feel like a great effort. Peregrine and I soon found ourselves exhausted, and we were inclined to return indoors for a moment of rest before continuing on with our work in the afternoon. “Come, I’ll have a table set for us all,” Peregrine said. “Damned weather seems ready to crush us all into the ground.”

We strode into the palace and made our way into the dining hall, where Peregrine had wine brought in, and cigars for those who wished to have them. We waited in relative silence as the meal was prepared, our spirits too worn for any real talk to be made. The atmosphere simply had become brutally oppressive.

A sound rang in my ears like the sound of glass shattering and I shot to my feet, staring out the window and into the open world.

“Your Majesty!” Hearth Fire was taken off guard by my sudden reaction.

“Did you hear that?” I asked of him.

“Nothing, Your Majesty,” he said.

“And I the same,” Peregrine added. “Celestia, are you well?”

I heard the sound echo once more, and then again, and again, followed by a faint rumble that seemed to shake the stone beneath my feet. I feared I had begun to lose my mind.

“The hell was that?!” Peregrine roared, allaying my fears regarding my own sanity. “Are we having a damn earthquake?”

“Too soft and sudden,” Hearth Fire said, his voice cracking like a whip and his eyes narrowed to slits. “That was an explosion. Something was detonated.”

A prolific Boom! Rumbled through the air and the window shattered, Hearth Fire rushing before me to try and shield me from the shards of glass that now flew through the air like daggers-

“The armory must’ve been attacked!” Peregrine said. “To the throne room, quickly!”

The palace had become a frenzy of activity, every guard we had at our disposal rushing to our presence and escorting us to the throne room, my soldiers sticking to me as though their very lives depended on it. Chaos reigned and I kept silent, allowing Hearth Fire to bark orders as we moved deeper into the palace and towards the throne room.

“Bar the doors! Anything that can be moved, do so!” Hearth Fire said as soon as we entered, soldiers immediately rushing to lock the doors and seal them with braces. Furniture and every available object was moved towards the door in the hopes of keeping the threat away.

“What happened? Ambassador Faell, do you know what’s happening?” I said, noticing the man had joined us in the movement from the dining hall.

“I am sorry, Your Majesty, I do not,” he gasped, his eyes wide and his pallor now the color of currant cream. “I was ordered by your men to find you as quickly as possible.”

“Someone’s detonated bombs across the city,” said a voice that I knew to be Ford’s, he backing away slowly from the now-sealed doors. “Then something ignited in the armory. Somebody must’ve planted explosives and sent the whole place flying.”

Peregrine swore at the top of his lungs. “Our weapons! If someone makes a move on the palace, our best defenses will have already been destroyed!”

“Soldiers, do not let that door break, it is the only way in or out of this room!” Hearth Fire barked, not moving from my side.

One way. I scanned the entire room, finding no window to be seen, or hidden doors just out of sight. The throne room was the very center of the palace, the heart where life pulsed out into the kingdom according to Griffon lore. It was an unbreachable room, for the doors were made of steel and thickest oak, nigh impregnable save for the greatest of weapons. And with the armory destroyed, Peregrine’s strongest weaponry was already gone. Meaning no one could get in.

Or out.

Slowly, as carefully as I could, I quietly shuffled over to Peregrine and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Was your throne room always the place of retreat in case of danger?” I asked.

“Always,” he replied.

“Does someone else know that?”

He understood in a heartbeat. The real threat was trapped inside with us.

“DOWN!” A shrill cry broke the silence and Ford raced towards me, firing his lance as I fell to the ground, letting the weapon sing above my head and strike the Royal Guardsman that had crept behind me with sword in hand.

And in that moment, for the first time in over 100 years, the Royal Guard saw combat again.

Hearth Fire and those loyal to me pushed back into a corner, trying desperately to keep me from harm as the nightmare unfolded, several of my soldiers now rushing to strike down their brothers and slay me, while Peregrine suddenly found himself wrestling with those of his own command. Griffon fought against Equestrian, traitors hacked at loyalists, turning the trapped throne room into a blood bath. In the midst of the traitors I saw Faell, armed with a dagger and screaming at the top of his lungs. He caught sight of me and tossed his weapon, a vicious, seeping thing that dripped with poison. Were it not for his poor throw, even a simple cut from the dagger’s edge would have been enough to kill me. Instead it flew by my head, sticking into the stone behind me.

My shock at the unfolding events had been great, and for a time I had simply stood by. But as my senses caught up with reality, I turned into the fold and raised my hands for battle- only to find the opposing sides had become intermingled, and no way to distinguish one from the other. I could end this in a heartbeat, but I would likely take every innocent life along with the guilty. I would only be able to strike when struck against.

Hearth Fire rushed back to my side, parrying a blow from one of his own officers. It was all the evidence I needed, and I flung the man into the wall, the stone seeping forth and binding him to the earth until it was said and done. Slowly, but surely, my Commander and I weaved our way through the chaos until the rebellion had been quelled. Lord Faell and his band of traitors had been defeated, some dead or dying while those I had managed to strike now lay bound or unconscious. Peregrine’s men had suffered a harsher fate, and several of his loyal soldiers had fallen, he himself clutching his arm where a deep gash bled profusely. Those healthiest raced to the doors and allow in aid or to reach the infirmary, for many now were gasping for one more breath. The throne room stank with the reek of metal and blood.

“Come on, help him up! Your Majesty, we need you!” Hearth Fire’s cry awoke me from my shock once more and I turned to find him trying to bring Ford to his feet, a dagger still imbedded in his side. I could feel my heart fall from within me.

“We need to get him to the infirmary, immediately!” Hearth Fire said, his hand twitching as though he desired to pull the blade free. “The dagger needs to be extracted, but we have no way of staunching the bleeding if we do! Your Majesty, is there anything you know of that can help?”

“Out of my way!” I rushed over to his side and tried to stem my own panic. Ford was injured, possibly dying- if the blade had been poisoned like Faell’s was, it was already too late. “I can help, but it will be painful! Ford, you need to stay awake! Lay his head down, gently!”

Ford gritted his teeth against the pain, hardly willing to open his eyes so great was his agony. “Ford, can you hear me? I need you to answer!”

“Right here,” he replied, his voice already weak. The wound had created a cavity, allowing blood to flood in. If it overworked his lungs, or they had already been pierced… I forced myself to ignore the thought.

“We’re going to remove the dagger from your side,” I said, forcing myself to keep my voice from revealing my panic. “I have a spell that can help seal the wound, but the pain from it will be agonizing. I need you to stay awake or the pain may cause a far greater injury. Do you trust me to perform it?”

“Yes,” he wheezed. His voice was wrong, so very wrong. The wound had gone deep.

“Remove it carefully,” I said to Hearth Fire, who removed the blade as delicately as possible. Ford twitched and grunted as it was brought forth- an obsidian blade, black as night and foul-looking. Hearth Fire looked at it in disgust and threw it aside as though made unclean by the sight of it.

“Hold on, Ford,” I said as I placed my hand on the now flowing wound. “This will hurt a great deal.” I struggled to bring the spell to form, the words from a long-forgotten tongue rising to my lips. “Tul- naur. Tul- heleg. Tul- cuil na hi beleth emel!”

A light as bright as the sun erupted from my hands and bored into his skin, Ford screaming and writhing as I did my best to hold on, the blood on my palms slick as ice. On and on it went until I feared Ford’s voice would shatter and he fall into darkness unreachable. Finally the light on my fingertips died and I collapsed onto the ground beside him, both Ford and I gasping for each breath.

“Your Majesty!” Hearth Fire rushed to my side and tried to help me to my feet, the spellcasting leaving me weak and barely conscious.

“Tend to Ford,” I ordered. “The wound will be sealed, but he will be in pain. Get the wounded to the infirmary immediately.”

My body shivered, the strength sapped from me leaving me ill-feeling and weak. A spell as ancient as the one I had used cause both the user and the recipient great pain, and the most ancient of all spells can leave the user drained. I knew it would be several days before I would be back to full strength once more. I felt sickened to the core as I watched the dead be carried forth from the throne room. My soldiers had died for me, at the hands of the ones they called friend and brother. There had never been a betrayal so foul in all my years.

Nearly two hours later, Hearth Fire returned, his uniform now stained crimson and his face carrying the pain of a thousand deaths. No one would feel the loss of his men, or the betrayal of those vile few, more greatly than he.

“The wounded are going to live, Your Majesty,” he said wearily. “No wound remaining will be life threatening. All those who fought against you are being held in the dungeons below and have been subdued. The day is won.”

“Well done, Commander,” I breathed, each word a horrible effort to utter. “Is Faell alive?”

“He is, Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire answered.

“Bring him before me,” I said. “He will give an explanation for this.”

As Hearth Fire rushed off, I forced myself to my feet, trembling with each step until I found Peregrine sitting on the dais before his throne, a thick, blood-stained bandage now wrapped around his arm. “Are you alright?”

“I have endured greater wounds than this,” he said. “The moment your soldier struck it was over. No open attack against you could possibly hope to succeed. Thank you for your help.”

“My ambassador is being brought here now,” I told him. “I have no reason to doubt he is the one culpable.”

“He will have conspired with my lords, then,” Peregrine said unhappily. “Damn it all, my own men… Celestia, I do not care for this bloodshed any longer. It does not suit me.”

I could see the stains of crimson and the flecks of gore that had spattered across the throne room and I heartily agreed.

I forced myself to remain standing as Faell was brought in, tightly bound and so heavily guarded that I could hardly see his face. When he was finally revealed to me, I could see that the once-haughty man had been brought low. A number of deep bruises and cuts had struck his visage, and he was clearly in pain. None who stood there gave him pity.

“Ambassador Faell,” I said, “you have conspired against your own countrymen and those of the Griffon Kingdom. The bloodshed that has transpired this past year, and this very day, now lays at your feet. Today, you will explain to us why you have done this.”

He laughed, the nervous, ill-at-ease demeanor he once possessed having been flung aside. “Certainly, Your Majesty,” he sneered. “Though I hardly deign to call you that at all. You are no worthy ruler.”

Hearth Fire huffed beside me but said nothing. I remained silent, waiting for the traitorous man’s diatribe to continue.

“Your reign over Equestria is a blemish on history,” Faell declared. “Your peace is a farce, and so is your prosperity. These past years of Equestria have seen upheaval like nothing the world has ever seen, not since the days of this world were still young and creation still trembled. May I remind you of your sister’s return? She struck out and put a blight of darkness on the entire world. If she had not been defeated, the world would have starved with no sunlight to feed crops and let them grow. And what happened when the battle was over? She was let free, and given right to rule again.”

“She protects you,” I reminded him. “Your lands are kept safe from the beasts of the wild because of my sister. Your dreams remain peaceful and well because of her.”

Faell chose to ignore my words. “Your guard against Tartarus has failed- time and time again. What of Tirek, and the denizens of that foul place? Or Discord, the manifestation of chaos that you now let roam freely across our lands? Your confidence in the goodness of all is faulty, untrustworthy, and untrue. The pain Equestria has dealt with these many years lays at your feet. I could not sit idly by and let you destroy the country I loved.”

“So you killed your own countrymen,” I said. “You incited the hatred of the Griffon Kingdom and set us against one another. You betrayed that peace.”

“I was going to bring peace to Equestria again,” Faell insisted, his voice rising. “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Your rule has been a blight upon our history. If death is what it took to bring you down, then so be it!”

“You betrayed your people. You betrayed all that is right and good in the world. Ambassador Faell,” I shook my head at his madness, hardly able to understand it. “You were a loyal peacekeeper. You would tremble at the sight of a weapon, you once decried gunpowder due to its uses for destruction. Was your hatred of me so great that it would incite you to bloodlust?”

“Only for what needed to be done. So a real ruler could assume the throne once more, and bring about an unalterable peace that would never be broken.”

“Would you be that man?” Peregrine challenged. “Do you think the Griffon people so callous that we would not run to her aid once you struck? That none would challenge you?”

“I am not the man to lead the new order, Oh Tarred and Feathered One,” Faell crooned. “I am merely the one to usher it in, for my rightful ruler.”

“And who would that be, Faell?” I asked.

“The Man of Black.”

“Does this name have no name worthy of remembrance?” Peregrine challenged. His tone was derisive, mocking, but I felt a chill in the air, and my heart skipped a beat. There was a familiarity to this that I could not name…

“He was, he is, and always shall be,” Faell said proudly. “Do you really think I am the only one who will rise against you? I am merely the first, the beginning of a long, great line that will bring you down. The Griffon Kingdom and Equestria- the last, great defense that keeps the world sheltered and stupid. I was merely meant to bring you against one another, to give the Man of Black his rightful dues. With no army to stand against him, who could possibly stop his rule? The world would know a real ruler.”

“And you failed. Just as wicked men always fail,” I said, though my voice now had a tremor that I could not shake. “You have lost, Faell. And so has your glorious leader.”

“It has only just begun, Little Princess,” he sneered. “The Man of Black knows you. He knows your future. And someday he’s going to stand above your dying body and rip your heart out of your chest! It’s only a matter of time!”

“Throw him back in his cell! Let him rot!” Peregrine barked, while I stood there shivering from weakness- and a sickening fear that had begun to grow in my heart.

Still Faell's chants could be heard echoing across the stones. "All hail The Man of Black!"

March 19th - March 23rd, the Year MCCCXLVI

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March 19th, the Year MCCCXLVI

Today has been long. It is not the sort of day I wish to endure again. I have spent it staring at faces of dead men and those of traitors who brought about the deaths of those that trusted them.
Eight of my soldiers are dead, giving their lives to protect me. Seven others were killed in the ensuing battle, having taken the lives of their comrades. Hearth Fire and I have decided that their bodies will be buried at sea, so no man can claim them as martyrs. The families will be informed and thoroughly investigated upon our return. I doubt many knew of the conspiracy, but any additional information they may possess will be vital. Particularly if we are to find this Man of Black that Faell so deeply admired.

The name disturbs me. Something about it rings in my ear as though I have heard it once before, but no memory is stirred within the depths of my mind. It chills me so, as though it were the first winds of winter. Our lack of leads will make finding him difficult. Luna will be one of the first I speak with when we make our return home next week.

Peregrine’s inspired idea for a joint procession has been postponed, and he has sent word across the kingdom of what has occurred, giving particular details as to the first battle where Griffon and Equestrian fought side by side. His shrewd dealing with his own people will help spread sympathy for my soldiers, as well as ease tensions between the two kingdoms. The man showcases his wound as though it were a badge of honor. Pompous and egotistical to the end, but he is a good leader for his people.

As of now, I sit in the infirmary, watching over my wounded soldiers. Some have been grievously injured, and no amount of healing skills or magical prowess will ever reverse it. Some, like Sergeant Coal who lost much of his hand, will have to be medically retired. He fears the idea of leaving the Royal Guard, but I will ensure his family is never in want. Those that fought bravely will be tended to for the rest of their days.

Hearth Fire fears what has become of our numbers. Nearly a third of the Royal Guard have been taken away from us due to the battle, whether it be the traitorous ones or my dead and injured defenders. The experience we have lost is great, and filling our ranks will be difficult. The other battalions will have to offer up their best, and in doing so they will fall short.

If the Man in Black intended to deprive Equestria of fighting men, he has certainly done so. Both Peregrine and I realize some of our best soldiers faced their last battle. It was not the war he desired to incite, but a wound was dealt. Equestria will be vulnerable, and Peregrine will be busy rooting out any further resistance for the time being, depriving us of a valuable ally.

Ford, thankfully, has survived, though it will be some time before he is fully well again. The dagger, thank heaven, did not puncture his lungs- the wound itself was gruesome enough. My heart was not ready to part with him just yet.

Death has become pervasive this past year. We have seen too much of it, and now it strikes close. I remember now just how much I have to lose. My people, my sister, Twilight, and now Ford… I spent many years in isolation when Luna was banished. Now suddenly I have these many attachments, and I fear to lose them. Death now follows my footsteps as well as theirs, taunting me with its inevitability. It will consume so much of what I hold dear.

The Man of Black is the enemy of the moment, but Death is the foe I may not be able to vanquish.

Ford turns in his sleep as I write. These soldiers of mine I hold dear, they so willing to shed blood on my behalf. I could not ask for greater loyalty, nor those of nobler heart.

I feel exhaustion creeping upon me. Perhaps I should rest.

March 20th, the Year MCCCXLVI

Ford was awake today. Only for a short period of time, but he retains his senses and is aware of his surroundings. It is the first sign of improvement we have seen in him yet. I am not sure whether it was a foulness on the dagger or the damage my spellcasting brought that has slowed his progress.

His wound is healed, albeit for the tissue scarring he endured, both from the wound and my handiwork. He will carry it for the rest of his life, and it may weaken him in ways he does not yet understand. Ancient spells are strange things, more alive and vibrant than modern work, and often act as though they possess their own signature in each individual use. The pain he endured may resurface on its own from time to time. His temperament may even be altered- I pray not. Ford is a serious, contemplative man. I would hate to see pain turn him to bitterness.

I did not allow Ford to worry for my sake today, though I suspect he does anyway. I gave him orders to rest and heal, giving him my thanks. I wish I could grant him more, but my privacy is diminished as of late. He deserves more than what I have given him, though he states that he only did his duty, and no other soldier would feel different. It is a true statement, the behavior of my loyal Guardsmen no different than it was before. All seem to bear shame that their brethren betrayed them. Despite my assurances that they did well, none feel pleased that they had to fight amongst themselves to bring an end to the conflict.

Hearth Fire, most of all, seems to bear the burden as though it were a sagging weight. He is subdued, worn down from overexertion. He performs his duties as though it were a punishment. To my dismay, he even came to me privately and offered his resignation, which I vehemently denied of him.

“Your Majesty, I put trust in my soldiers. Their actions against you speak to my judgement. Their swords were mine, and they struck out against you,” he claimed.

“I will have none of your nonsense,” I told him. “Hearth Fire, you were as unaware as I was. If anything, I should be the one giving you an apology. My ambassador tried to kill us all, and I was always the final word when it came to selecting my guard. You have no reason to bear guilt for any of this.”

Hearth Fire, of course, tried to protest this. His honor will not allow him to deal with this rationally; he sees no alternative result other than the failure of these traitorous men being his own failure. Still I denied him. To lose my trusted Commander would be devastating, especially now. Besides, I see no reason to bring judgement or reprimand against him. Hearth Fire has been nothing but my steadfast ally for many years.

I have been busy much of the day, and only in the late evening have I been able to spend any time preparing our group for the voyage home. I still need a means of bringing back our dead, as well as what will be done with Faell and the other traitors that still live. Equestria has no death penalty, and I intend to keep it as such. Exile leaves them as a danger, so I will likely have them sentenced to life in prison. As to whether that will keep them there, I do not know. The Man of Black is untested, beyond our judgement of his ruthlessness.

March 21st, the Year MCCCXLVI

Oh, heaven help me. Peregrine, trying to be the capable diplomat, has now put me in a position I had no desire to be in whatsoever.

This morning, I was with Hearth Fire discussing the initial steps of our journey back to Equestria when I was informed that Peregrine had requested my presence in the throne room. I was rather surprised, as both of us had been busy dealing with our own people since the battle. I had seen little of him, if at all, these past few days.

When I arrived, I found him sitting upon his throne, his bandages now gone, though his wounds still appeared gruesome to the eye. No doubt it was a means of projecting his strength, a reminder that even if his enemies may wound him, he is stronger. His scars will be a statement to all who dare to stand against him. His lords and nobles that remained loyal to him were also present, some apparently fearful of the man they called king. If the tactic was to intimidate loyalty into his populace, it was likely working.

“Princess Celestia, I apologize for our lack of communication these past few days,” he began, his voice husky as though he had slept little. “The affairs of my crown have kept me as much as yours have kept you, I think.”

“Where do you keep my soldiers and my former ambassador?” I asked him.

“They remain secure in my dungeons, for the time being,” he said. “By your request, I wish to keep your ambassador here for some time. Whatever information he still possesses may be useful in rooting out whatever insurrections may be lying in wait here in my kingdom. My crown is not quite as stable as yours yet. As for your soldiers, they are yours to deal with as you see fit. I have nothing to gain from them.”

“Faell may stay here for now,” I replied. “However, whatever justice may be done upon him will be by my hand, not yours. I will not see him become a martyr for a fool’s cause. The same for my soldiers. When I depart for Equestria, I request that they be brought with me to be tried in their homeland.”

“I will see it done,” Peregrine answered. “Dear Princess, I must apologize for what has transpired here in my throne room. Your soldiers have spilled their blood in defense of you, on the soil I claim to control. They have fallen because of my own failures.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” I told him, though thankful for his respect of my guards. “My own ambassador was the conspirator behind this. I promise you, when he is extradited to Equestria, he will see justice done.”

“Of that I have no doubt,” Peregrine said with a grim satisfaction. “Princess Celestia, I still have grievance that I am trying to resolve. My people see themselves as hostile against yours, and for little reason. The tribalism that once divided the Griffons will not die so easily, nor their distrust of their neighbors across the waves. I would request your aid in bringing it to an end.”

At first I didn’t dare think he intended what he meant. But there before us all, leaving the entire room in complete shock, he rose from his throne and knelt before me- not as one submitting to another, but in request of me. I could only stare in stunned silence as he looked up at me.

“It would be a formality only, dear Princess,” he said, “but to have your hand… I would be more than grateful to call you Queen.”

A marriage proposal. It was so stunning, so utterly out of nowhere, that I had no words to truly describe my astonishment. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I believe my silence left the poor man ruffled. He had ego and pride, but this may have hurt him more personally.

“I am… flattered, truly,” I finally managed to mutter, no doubt my complexion a deeper red than I could have mustered by effort. “Though, quite admittedly, somewhat of a shock. I do not know what to say.”

“It would be a strange union, of that I have no doubt,” he admitted. “I would ask nothing of you but your name and aid. To better our two kingdoms, and bring them closer together. To make our two people believe they are one.”

I remained flummoxed for some time, finally conceding that I needed time to think over the matter in private. Thankfully, Peregrine’s ego did not bruise over the suggestion, and he allowed me all the time I needed to think it over.

But a marriage proposal! How would he even expect it to work? For the two of us to rule over both kingdoms together? To be separate and rule each individually? Equestria is more advanced in its nature and thinking, but the Griffon populace has only seen the crown be fully dominant for a brief period. It would take an heir apparent to calm their spirits- a child to rule after him, I suppose…

Oh, if only my own hands would support. The shudders I feel at the thought are an unkind thing. Peregrine is not a foul man, nor an unpleasant one. We have been friends before, in more peaceful days. But to say that I hold any affection for him beyond mere friendship would be insane. Should I consider his gamble a power grab, maybe? A chance to seize power over the two mightiest kingdoms on earth? I do not think he would do such a thing. If I interpreted him correctly, it would be a marriage in writing, and little else. Meaning we would be free to act as we wished on our home soil. It is there that the differences between cultures would cause issues, though Peregrine may not realize it. The tribalistic views of the Griffons have allowed polygamy for some time, but monogamy is the only marital norm in Equestria. If he married another, while –oh, calm yourself Celestia- married to me, it would create a scandal. The marriage would likely cause more divides than it would heal.

I have no reason to accept, beyond the societal pressure of the thing. Peregrine likely knew this, hence why his royal court was there to witness the event. He wants it desperately to happen so he can regain control of his kingdom before it splinters into the various factions again. However, I have no desire to accept it. Meaning I must find a way to refuse without causing Peregrine further problems- or injuring his pride.

March 22nd, the Year MCCCXLVI

I have spent much of the day in conversation with Hearth Fire, plying him with questions. Yesterday’s proposal has become the primary obstacle we now face: how do I deny Peregrine’s request without subjecting him to humiliation before his own nobles?

Hearth Fire initially laughed at the predicament, though apparently my anger at his reaction was enough to sober him up quite quickly. That, and perhaps he too realized the damage that could be done if we were to outright refuse Peregrine’s proposal. The Griffon Kingdom is vast, and more densely populated than Equestria. To let it destabilize would bring untold political fallout, not to mention the potential death and destruction that would occur within the kingdom’s own borders. I had no desire to cause Peregrine further problems when he had faced such difficulty keeping his kingdom in check.

“I assume you intend to say no,” Hearth Fire remarked, a grin still evident upon his face.

“Absolutely,” I replied, perhaps more forcefully than necessary. “It is not- a horrifying thing to ponder; that is not my intent. But I do believe it would bring more harm than good in the long term. And there is no affection for him. It would not be wise to accept.”

“Then you mean to find a way to refuse him without bringing harm to his rule,” Hearth Fire said. “That is difficult. How do you intend to deny him?”

“I do not know. I am hoping your brain can offer something mine cannot conjure.”

Hearth Fire puzzled himself with the thought for a time, before lifting a hand and saying, “His family… what does his family consist of?”

“His mother still lives, that I know. His brother is charged with the military, and his brother possesses two children. Peregrine is a widower, his wife killed in battle when they subdued the Arctic Tribes twenty years ago.”

“Does Peregrine himself have children?”

“Several. Three sons, two daughters.”

“Are the daughters married?” he asked.

At that point I became unsure of his next steps. “I do not believe I follow you,” I told him.

“Have you considered giving Peregrine a counter-proposal? Say… Prince Blueblood’s hand for one of his unwed daughters?” Hearth Fire suggested. “Bluebood remains –pardon me, Your Majesty- somewhat of an ass, but he has mellowed since he took friendship with Shining Armor in the Crystal Empire. The idea of being married to a wild Griffon Princess may tickle his fancy. That way you remain free to marry the man you love, Peregrine’s wishes for strengthened ties between the two kingdoms is realized, and his status as ruler is not too deftly damaged.”

It was such a marvelous suggestion that I was surprised I didn’t think of it first. Nevertheless I was grateful, having found a solution that would bring more positives than it would negatives. My only hope was that Blueblood’s more subdued demeanor would not falter in the face of the needs of diplomacy.

I dismissed Hearth Fire and began to work in private on how I would present my counter-proposal to Peregrine. I only had been writing for a few minutes when I received a knock on my door, Hearth Fire presenting himself once more.

“Surely I am not requested so soon!” I said.

“Not by Peregrine, Your Majesty,” he replied, laughter so evident on his face that I am surprised he did not falter. “However, I am getting some troubling reports out of the infirmary. It seems one of our soldiers has heard rumors of ill tidings concerning you, and no matter what the staff say or do, he will not be settled.”

Ford! I’d been so occupied with Peregrine that I hadn’t thought that the word might reach his ears. Poor Ford was likely beside himself with fear, worrying that my position might actually force me to accept. In his injured state, he might even believe he would be shunted aside.

“Please let him know that all rumors concerning my affairs are unjustified, and that he pay them no mind,” I said, hoping Ford would understand my intent to decline. “Please settle this for me, Commander. I will see to it in due time.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” the grin still not having fallen from his face. I would have to keep eyes on Hearth Fire, in case he knew more than he was letting on.

And, if possible, I will likely need to find time to visit Ford.

March 23rd, the Year MCCCXLVI

I believe we have, for the time being, been able to clear through the difficulties surrounding Peregrine’s proposal without causing too much difficulty. As much as I tried otherwise, there was no way to completely avoid embarrassing the man. If he had been more private in his dealing with it, he would not have been forced to try and save face.
I had only just awoken when my presence was requested in Peregrine’s study. When I arrived I could see he had been waiting for me, poring over a series of maps and lists of his northern territories. It was the most occupied I had ever seen him with a task before.

“Preparing to move north?” I asked him.

“Two of my regional lords in the region have dropped contact and sealed their walls. News of the battle here in the palace has likely reached their ears,” he said. “It seems your ambassador’s botched insurrection has outed some of my more uneasy conspirators.”

“Will you still require his presence? I would prefer to see his trial commence sooner rather than later.”

“For a time longer, I think. Rest assured, Celestia, I won’t kill the man. But I wish to squeeze out every drop of information he has,” Peregrine answered. “However, his failure is already solving some of my problems. So that is at least part of one resolved. The other, it would seem, can only be solved by you.”

I knew what he meant by that and I found my discomfort immediately begin to grow. I had no desire to wound his pride, but it would seem I had no alternative. It was only how I would go about doing so that seemed uncertain.

“Well? Any thoughts on the matter, Princess? I know it would be an odd thing, but to have your hand with mine would be a great service,” he said, his voice somewhat taught. Was he anxious about this? I wondered if he was being less of a diplomat than I first considered.

“Peregrine,” I said, trying to keep my own tone of voice pleasant, “I am truly flattered by the offer. But you know as well as I do that there would be far more harm than good to arise out of such a marriage. It would be a disservice to both our people.”

“Am I considered unworthy of it?” he asked. Perhaps it was my imagination, but did I see disappointment etched upon his face?

“That is not what I say at all,” I told him. “Peregrine, I am immortal. I would outlast you. Would your people accept to be ruled by another from across the sea? Would I be able to govern it well? Consider the cultural differences as well- polygamy is considered normal in your country. In mine, absolutely unheard of. Would you wish to create the scandal that would erupt from it? To satisfy my people, you would have to insult your own. It would not be acceptable for either people.”

He sighed, realizing I was indeed correct. I hoped I hadn’t hurt his feelings, despite it all. “Well, I now wish I had been more discreet on the matter,” he said. “Very well, then. I shall have to inform my loyal nobles of your rejection.”

“Perhaps, if I may, can I offer you a solution?” I told him, watching as Peregrine’s interest was piqued. “You say two of your regional lords have defected. Perhaps, if you would like it, an Equestrian noble may be of service to you?”

“Oh? And of whom do you speak?” he asked. “Somehow I doubt that rebel sister of yours would take up the offer.”

“She is happily unattached, but no. My nephew, Blueblood,” I explained. “He is somewhat vain, but he possesses intelligence, and his looks endear him to others. Perhaps your eldest daughter, Saker, would see fit to him as a husband.”

He smiled. A weak one, but a smile nonetheless. “Hellfire and plague, it’s an idea. Saker has been in the south for the past few months, but she has no fear of the north. Does your Blueblood possess the grit to endure it? He will need it to survive the Griffon’s expectations for him.”

“He would adapt. Much of his past few years have been spent in the mountains in the Crystal Empire,” I said. “And it would be of great service to me, having him finally married. Too many young girls spend their time preening after him.”

Peregrine laughed, a bellowing sound that could likely be heard down the halls. “Well, all hell has been frozen over! My crown shall survive, and I shall have a new nephew to drive mad! Hells below be damned after all.”

“If you feel it has been resolved sufficiently, Peregrine, I do wish to begin our journey home,” I said, sensing the time had finally come to sally forth. “Now that my soldiers have healed sufficiently to make the voyage home, I do not want to wait any longer. Also the funerals will need to be conducted, and my own country to care for.”

“Yes, I do not doubt it,” Peregrine replied. “It has been a pleasure to have you here, Celestia. Hopefully I will not keep your rat bastard ambassador long. I have little joy in wasting my time on vermin.”

I departed and called for Hearth Fire to prepare the soldiers for departure, I eager to return home and see my country again. After some discussion, Hearth Fire informed me that we would be ready to depart come morning. We traveled together back to my quarters, where I found –to my disbelief- a beautiful bouquet of exquisite flowers now sat on the table beside my bed.

“You have an admirer, I see,” Hearth Fire said, a far too knowing smile upon his face. “Your Majesty, news of your beauty must travel.”

“Hearth Fire, you have always been the absolute professional,” I said icily, “It would cause me great unhappiness if I was forced to remind you of it.”

Ford, the fantastical, panicked fool, must have found a way for them to be delivered here. I still had yet to see him since Peregrine’s proposal, and my absence must have chewed on him like a wound. Tucked safely in between the stems of the flowers was a simple piece of paper and neatly written upon it were the words, I still love you.

“Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire said slowly, the lighthearted tone in his voice disappearing. “A question, if I may.”

“What is it, Commander?” I asked, trying to hide the blush from my face. Ford was exasperating in his worry, and I still wanted to kiss him senseless for it.

“If you were to marry, Your Majesty,” he said, “Would you be willing to love them for the rest of your days? Surely you would outlive him.”

It was such a loaded question that I did not know what to say at first. “I’m sorry, I do not believe I follow you, Commander,” I said.

Hearth Fire, perhaps, sensed how discomforting a question he had asked. “We are mortal beings, Your Majesty,” he said. “We do not last forever. Our bodies age and decay, before finally withering away into the dust. But you do not. You remain ageless, unaffected by time’s flow. If you married, you would outlive your husband. Would you be willing to live with that grief forever? There are few who can.”

It was a deeply intruding thought. Only one other in this world besides myself lived eternally, and that was dear Luna. If I ever married, I would watch them slowly fall away and return to the dust. Would I be able to live with such loss, ever on? Or like the immortals of ancient days, would the grief wither my bones until I became as empty and formless as the wind and vapors? “Commander, I could not answer such a thing. At least not easily,” I said.

“I understand. My apologies if I caused you any discomfort, Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire replied. “I merely do not wish to see you cause yourself pain.”

With a salute he was off, his questions now burning away in my mind like a fiery maul. I felt unsettled by the very thought of it, perhaps that being Hearth Fire’s intent all along. Love was not an easy thing to understand. Even gentle Cadance, master and lorekeeper of that ancient magic, could not interpret it fully. It was fiery, unpredictable, and beautiful when it burned brightly. But it could not burn forever, not when its keepers are finite beings.

But I am not. I endure on, and on, and ever on. A sole keeper of a flame that would burn forever, but with none to share its warmth. Perhaps the loss of a spouse would, like it did with so many others, drive me to death with grief. To emptiness and whispers until all the world had ended, and the long years of my life were utterly spent as the stars fell from the heavens.

I could not stay in that room for a moment longer. I fled from it as though the open door was the gaping maw of some savage beast, reaching out for me and dragging me into its agony. I do not know if I possessed any true intent for a destination when I left, but on and on I walked until I found myself in a near-empty infirmary, where Ford now rested alone with a book in his hands.

He caught sight of me and his face lit with delight and a mixture of shame within it. “Princess,” he whispered. “I only just heard the news. I am sorry, I panicked when I first heard he proposed to you. I couldn’t think of anything else to do-”

I kissed him until he fell silent for good, simply wishing to see him as he were, for what little time it remained. He was young, alive, and himself. I held him as we let the night fall, I not daring to fall asleep, fearing I would find him old and gray when I awoke.

April 5th - April 7th, the Year MCCCXLVI

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April 5nd, the Year MCCCXLVI

Ford has returned to full duty again today. After many days of light duty in order to let his wound fully heal, he again bore his armor before me today.

I wish I could say he is fully restored, but the wound he now bears will weigh upon him forever. Ford has known death most his life, but never had its cold fingers brushed his own spirit so deeply. I hope it does not unsettle him too greatly. He is a quiet soldier, but he has often been cheerful and uplifting to those around him. I would hate to see him become sobered by his experiences.

Ford’s duties found him in my presence today. Though officially I had scheduled the Day Court to be held, little of importance seemed to be filing through my halls this morning. Luna had kept the kingdom running when I was gone, and now that word has been properly spread throughout Equestria, knowledge on what occurred in the Griffon Kingdom has helped to settle much of the tension. There will be those who were hardest hit, such as Manehattenites that witnessed the New Year’s bombings, that will be more difficult to persuade, but much of the kingdom seems satisfied by my proclamation.

With more empty time before me than I am used to, I took on a spur-of-the-moment decision to spend my time more wisely. Rather than be stuck in a quiet throne room, my mind wandered and began to drift out into the city below. There could be work done down there, if I saw to it. With the scare of war the country had just experienced, it would be good to get a feel for how my subjects had fared.

“Come, soldiers,” I said, rising to my feet and turning to Ford and his counterpart. “There is little to be done here. Please, accompany me.”

“Where to, Your Majesty?” Ford asked, his eyes betraying a faint weariness that vanished the moment I thought I had seen it.

“Out,” was my reply, likely giving Ford more reason for consternation than helping to glean understanding. “I believe we are needed elsewhere, rather than here, Corporal. When was the last time you traveled through the city?”

“Not in some time, Your Majesty,” Ford said. “Your medical staff have kept me under watch for some time.”

“Then all the more reason. We need to celebrate your return to good health,” I said. “Please, come with me. I believe there is good to be done in the city today.”

The sun was kept hidden by a thick sheet of cloud, allowing the cool mountain air to reign across Canterlot. A small touch of wind pushed through the streets and gave the day a colder feel than one would have wished, but I was determined to see my people. Perhaps it was my time spent with Ford, but more often than before I found myself somewhat bound away from the rest of the world. Everywhere I went, I could feel the eyes of people upon me as though I were a thing of reverence and worship, not a leader and steward. The deification Ford had once done unto me still dominated many of my own people. It was a discomforting thing, one that I wished to erode away. I had powers beyond the normal folk of the world, yes; my lifespan unlimited, but I was as fallible and abounding with emotion as they. I found myself longing for a connection with them. I wished to know their names.

The morning passed by quickly in a blur of faces, sights, and sounds, each place as wonderful and good as the last. Both poor and rich, great and small graced us with their time. Hazel, a middle-aged widow near the Canterlot marketplace runs her late husband’s coffee shop with the help of her niece and nephew. Sassy Saddles, Rarity’s cohort here in Canterlot, is as busy as I’ve ever seen a woman in my life, yet commands it all in such grace and enthusiasm that I’m sure Rarity must be thrilled. An elderly couple on vacation from the Crystal Empire, Vi and Roark, stopped and asked us to take a picture for them, I eventually being requested to join in. It was their 50th wedding anniversary and they had chosen to tour Equestria and see everything they could. It was all so simple, a lacking of extravagance that I will cherish forever. To simply be among them, to be treated like a normal person and watch that reverence wash away will mean more to me than any gold or jewels could ever hope to match. To just be, for a little while, someone’s friend, is an extraordinary thing.

As the afternoon rolled in, I began talking with the young lady assigned as Ford’s subordinate, a Private Rain that had arrived only a few months back. She was eager and confident, and seemed to see Ford with a bit of a hero complex. For a small-town girl who grew up in the wildlands, the sheer size and grand scale of Canterlot has been somewhat overwhelming for her. However, I trust Ford’s ability to lead, and to help keep her somewhat reckless enthusiasm in check.

As we began to head towards the market to find something to eat, Rain suddenly peered behind us with a look of concern. “Your Majesty,” she said, “Where’s Corporal Ford?”

I looked around and suddenly found he was no longer with us. I highly doubted he would shirk his duties, and the thought of the Man of Black flickered through my mind- had my best soldier been attacked right under my nose?

“Wait- Your Majesty, he’s there, right at the alleyway entrance,” Rain said, pointing towards a shadowed corner where the sun-stained armor of Ford could be seen, his body bent with an expression of pain on his face.

“Are you alright?” I asked him as we came to him, my eyes flickering to the hand that rested on his side.

“I’m fine, Your Majesty,” he gasped, his breathing now a grimy rasp.

“Please do not lie to your princess,” I said firmly as a thought came to my head. “Your breathing is heavy. Please tell me you did not bribe my medical staff to release you early.”

“No, Your Majesty, I- it just started hurting, that’s all. I thought it’d be only a second.”

I gently slipped my hand underneath his, feeling his side. A notch where the blade had slipped in remained, and a powerful heat was emanating from where the burn had scarred him. “Your wound is beyond their skill to fully heal,” I said to him. “If it had only been the blade, I believe you would be fine. Your pain stems from my actions, unfortunately.”

“I do not follow,” he said, taking a deep, slow breath as he tried to regulate his air flow.

“The spell I cast upon you was ancient. A powerful tool for much darker times,” I told him. “The scars it leaves do not fade, and the pain it seals upon you does not go quietly. It is like a burn in your side, is it not?”

“Like fire against my side,” he said, giving another gasp.

“It may be some time before the pain fully leaves your body,” I said, “perhaps another month or so. Is it extremely painful?”

“I can manage, Your Majesty,” he said, straightening himself and looking in my eyes, his gaze firm and piercing. “I swear it.”

“When we return to the palace, I will have a replacement sent for you,” I said. Noting a look of objection, I added, “This is an order, Corporal. Afterwards, report to my study and I will meet you there. I believe there are some things that can be done to help ease the pain, for the time being.”

Ford seemed ready to put up a fight –his bravado did not die easily- but nevertheless he would not dare disobey a direct order from me, and submitted.

We spent the afternoon at a small, quiet café as we chatted with the owner and staff before returning to the palace. I did not give Ford a chance to argue but sent him straight off to get a replacing NCO. As I watched him wander off, I felt a pang of pity for him. He was dejected, his young, fresh body failing him for the first time. Though I knew he would rebound, I worried my beloved’s confidence would start to falter.

April 7th, the Year MCCCXLVI

Sergeant! Hearth Fire wishes to promote Ford to Sergeant, and straight away!

When Hearth Fire brought me the news, I could not help but wonder if his eyes searched me for any sign of reaction, but I kept my professionalism intact and reacted as evenly as I could manage.

“He has only been Corporal for a short time. Do you truly believe him ready?”

“It is not just a matter of readiness, Your Majesty,” Hearth Fire said darkly. “With the… insurrection in Griffonstone, some of my trusted leaders are no longer with us, whether it be by betrayal or casualty. Sergeant Coal was an excellent Non-Commissioned Officer, but he had to medically retire due to the loss of much of his hand. I trust Corporal Ford to take his place. Especially now that he has seen combat.”

He meant the battle of Griffonstone and immediately I was perturbed. “And why does that give weight to his name? Because he is now seasoned in bloodshed?”

Hearth Fire’s expression was solemn as he spoke. “No, Your Majesty. Because now he will know to abhor it.”

The answer was enough to satisfy me, as I too hoped Ford could see the wretchedness that had transpired. “What will need to be done to bring it about, then?” I asked.

“Your approval, Your Majesty. And some rudimentary training,” he answered. “A leadership course that will take him from his duties for a period of time, but he will still remain here in Canterlot. A month-long course, and then I will instate him myself. He is an excellent leader, Your Majesty. I believe he can shoulder the mantle.”

I had arranged a rendezvous with Ford that night, and would be hard-pressed to not reveal the secret to him myself. “As you wish,” I said, again feeling Hearth Fire’s searching gaze studying my reaction. My Commander had become too nosy for my tastes.

April 11th, the Year MCCCXLVI

Ford will begin his training in three days, spending a month upon the eastern face of the mountain in the training grounds known among the Wild Batallion. The worst of the weather that Canterlot faces comes from that direction, and it is a prime spot for the wind to crash into the mountain. It will be a merciless place for him to train, one that will wear him down.

Ford, to his credit, has shown no hesitation in regards to his impending challenges. If anything, he seems to relish the thought, even asking if I had anything to do with Hearth Fire’s selection.

“Of course not. I would not think of wounding your pride in such a manner,” I told him. We had found a place to settle ourselves, I bringing him to the hidden garden Luna and I had created many years ago, a secret spot where the resplendent, precious things of the world could grow. It was a place of rest and shelter, and spare few knew of its existence. It would be a welcome respite from prying eyes.

Ford kept his gaze trained on me, staring at me with an unexpected shrewdness. “Hmm.”

“Do you not believe me?” I asked.

His expression changed from suspicion to acceptance, a smile growing on his face. “I do,” he said. “I merely had to see if it was so. To gain Sergeant so quickly… it’s a rare thing.”

“Are you worried that your wounds may slow you?” I asked. Ford had continued in his duties ever since the day in the market, but from time to time I would see him having to pause for breath, or take a moment to settle his spirit.

“It hurts less and less by the day,” he said, his voice speaking of a confidence I could not fully accept. “I will be fine. I will at least be alive to shoulder through it.”

I smiled. Again and again, that indomitable will he possessed proved itself more and more. He was not the strongest, the swiftest, nor the sharpest of mind. But Ford’s will and determination to push through any obstacle that came before him was unlike anything I had ever seen. I truly began to believe that he would continue to fight even if his own heart had been pierced, battling on until his foe finally fell and no enemy remained before his sight and at last he would allow himself to pass on.

I must have drifted off into thought as I marveled at him, for I heard a laugh and suddenly found himself kneeling before me, our eyes only a breath apart. “You have been morose these past few days. It’s good to see you smiling again.”

I leaned in and kissed him, unwilling to let my admiration be turned to shame. “Come, sit with me. You have been standing most of the evening.” I pulled him down beside me as he took his place on the grass beside me, the natural warmth of this garden surrounding us. The birds of the night warbled as they flitted through the trees, the air serene and peaceful against the coolness of the mountain that still hung in the early days of spring. Here in this garden, summer reigned eternal.

“I never knew of this place, not even in rumor,” Ford said, looking at the glorious surroundings with a look of wonder. “What is it?”

“A place of rest. An idea Luna and I had long, long ago,” I answered. “I began to cultivate it long ago, before Luna returned. It pushed on, but all those years she was gone… it struggled. Clung to life in weakness, but never flourished. Yet the night she returned, it began to grow mighty and strong. Its life is as bound to hers as it is bound to mine.”

“It’s magnificent,” he whispered.

I smiled, taking his hand in mine. “And I am glad you are with me to see it.”

We let our peaceful surroundings envelop us, the tranquility of such a night so great that it seemed to swallow us. How long were we there? A night? A week? A thousand lifetimes? We were alive and at peace, a gift more valuable than anything I would have asked for. It had only been a year since I met Ford for the very first time, yet now I could hardly imagine my life without him. So much had befallen us since that fateful day, yet here I was. I had good friends, a kingdom at peace, and a love whose hand brought me unfathomable warmth. A whole world lay before me now, a fresh perspective I had never before known. It was a wonderful thing to know.

“Tia,” Ford said, his voice hesitant. “I wonder if, perhaps… it may be difficult to ask of you.”

“Go on,” I said. “You can ask anything of me.”

“This garden… it’s a mystery to me. Just like you, in a sense.”

“And what does that mean?”

“I know so little about your life,” Ford asked. “For example, I know you are immortal. But could anyone in this world even kill you?”

“Yes. Someone certainly could,” I said. “I am immortal, not invulnerable. What makes you wonder about such things?”

“I want to know your story. You know mine. But all I know of your past is what I read in storybooks, old fairytales. History says what you have done, but now who you are. I- I want to know you.”

I bittersweet pang coursed through me and I gave him a sad smile. “I can,” I said softly, “but it will not be a pleasant picture.”

“Neither is anyone’s in this world,” he said. “And none of it would change how I feel about you. So, if you’re willing… I’d like to hear it.”

The memories of a limitless life passed before my eyes. Friends long gone, voices forgotten in the mists of time, sights and sounds lost to the wind, all of it and more than I could bear flooded me and I became overwhelmed. I struggled to bring a voice to it all, and perhaps my countenance fell for Ford reached for my hand and seemingly willed his strength into me.

“Very well,” I whispered, a trace of tears in my voice, “I shall try my best. I only ask you do not think less of me because of it.”

And so, in that sheltered garden, I spoke to Ford of my many years upon this earth, and I was thankful for his comfort when I wept.

January 1st - May 3rd, the Year MCCCXLVII

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January 1st, the Year MCCCXLVII

Time makes fools of us all.
Has it truly been that long since I last wrote within this diary? So much has come about since then. I believe that, whoever reads this now, will find that the world has changed. It is a brighter place than this time a year before.

The winter has been mild, a thankful prayer for many. Equestria’s fears of war have long been abandoned. The Man of Black, whom I once feared, has seemingly disappeared into the vast corners of the earth, far from our shores. Luna’s reports from her border guard have bode well for all of us. The wild things of the world have settled themselves, and the roads between cities have become safer. Equestria, it would seem, is on the verge of a golden age.

Twilight’s effort in Ponyville has brought forth more good and gladness for my people than could ever be measured. Science and innovation has truly begun in earnest as her horde of pupils bring forth new inventions, new ideas and philosophies, new joys and hopes that benefit us all. Twilight still seems so young to my ancient eyes –and indeed she is- but her works and toil speak to a timeless intellect, and an ageless wonder at the world surrounding her. She is growing as a leader in ways she cannot begin to suspect. Though she is not my child by birth, I have spent too much time around her to not feel a sense of motherly pride. Borne by the strength and aid of her friends, she has flourished, and much of Equestria’s recent prosperity is because of her relentless effort. I could be more proud.

Cadance has been busy- busier than I would wish for her. But she takes it all in stride, that calm happiness she spread to others nestled deep within her own spirit. After all, she would need it more than ever- Flurry Heart was enough of a handful, now she has another daughter to keep track of! Little Gleaming Shield, a shade darker than in color than her father, but nearly a carbon copy. Shining Armor can hardly wait for her to grow older so he can teach her his trade. The Crystal Empire will be kept safe by a strong, brave lineage for many generations to come.

Saber Ford has grown old, if only in spirit. He is a man in heart and mind, the youthfulness of his early days forgotten in time’s flow. He is one of my best soldiers, and Hearth Fire’s greatest asset. Just as predicted, Ford has proven himself to be an excellent leader, the scars of battle tempering what could have been an overeager spirit. Instead he is a mediator, his natural quiet bringing forth the wisdom and compassion he always bore. He remains, to this day, a naturally intelligent man. Literature interests him little, but he has taken it upon himself to meditate in his quietness, and learn about his soldiers as best as he can. He remains solemn, introverted, but every word he speaks is useful for teaching and correcting- and a smile is on his face more often than not. He is something to be proud of; I most certainly am proud of him.

As for myself? I could not be more joyful. My kingdom is at peace. My people are free and safe. My sister roams the wildlands in reckless abandon. My old pupil brings forth prosperity for a kingdom. And I am loved more deeply than I could ever have imagined. It is all too much, a gift too great and wondrous for me to ever have believed I would come to possess. So, for all of it, I am thankful. And that is all that really needs to be said.

March 23rd, the Year MCCCXLVII

It was a special day, though I had not truly realize it until Ford spoke to me. On this day, two years ago, Ford kissed me- a moment and sensation to this day I cannot ever forget.

What was it about that moment that struck me so? In many ways it was not special. It was a moment that has been repeated by millions across the strands of time, over and over again. A man kisses his lady and romance blossoms ever onward. It is a tale so old it may well be another trope of common fairytales. Yet that fairytale beginning is how we came together. He loved me all his life, and through his loyalty I became swayed. It could have been anyone, I sometimes tell myself. Anyone could have been struck as he was, and they likely would have done the same thing. Yet Ford, out of all the world I’ve known in these long, long years, is the only man I have ever loved. With all my long, long years, his heart is the only one that has held mine. So I guess, through my aimless ruminations, it has lasted because of who Ford is, rather than anything else. He wanted to give himself to me, and only expected my affection in return. He gave no cares of my standing, the power, regality- it was myself that he truly desired. Some may call it foolish, but I find it priceless.

It has been a long time since then. Still Ford remains- and I with him. It has become, in some ways, far easier to manage our discretion and arrange our rendezvous. Repetition and experience has given us that edge. Yet, on the other side, his rank calls for greater duties, increased responsibility, and more time away from me. Through it all, none of us has chosen to waver. He belongs to me and I to him, and there is no other way in which I would have it.

Luna has yet to accept it, really. Sometimes I think she would tell me openly, but cannot raise the courage. She wishes it had been a passing fancy of mine, or simply Ford’s own foolishness. I sometimes wonder if she has ever conceived a means of whisking him away elsewhere so as not to bother me. She may never truly accept Ford as a part of my life, especially in such an intimate manner. Occasionally she asks me what I see in him. And so, I ponder the question every time before I give an answer, allowing me to know why I chose him that day two years ago- and why I would choose him over and over again.

Ford is not special. He is not some magnificent champion, some great conqueror with a mighty army behind him. He is not wise. He is not counted among the most desirable of men. Ford is, in many ways, average. I say this not to disparage him, but to allow him to stand for what he is. Because though he may not be set apart by the eyes of the masses, who he is within his own heart is what truly matters to me more than anything in the world. He bears a quiet spirit, calm and collected until it blooms in a soft smile on his face. His dedication to his craft is unlike anything I have ever seen, his work ethic unmatched by any on this earth. He maintains his standard to the end, and gives himself no quarter. He expects the best of himself. He is forgiving and gentle when possible, and loyal beyond what words can express. To me, that is what makes Ford invaluable. Because of who he chooses to be, day in and day out, he becomes exceptional. Some may say there are more handsome, more desirable men in the world. But not to me. And that is how I would have it, no matter what end.

When Ford returns to his quarters tonight, he will find a gift awaiting him. I feel shame at the thought, but I have given him so little in return for all that he has given me. His steady hand and love have been beside me for two years now, and more than once I have awoken to flowers and gifts at my bedside. I have waited too long to return the favor. Tonight he will return home and find an old heirloom that once belonged to his family. A family crest that had been lost when his father had passed, now returned to its rightful owner. It is not enough to settle the debt of gratitude that I owe him, but I hope it is a start.

My dear Princess,

I don’t know when you will see this, but I write this now as you sleep the night away. It has been long, and spending it with you has been more than gift enough.

Has it truly been only two years? To me it has been a lifetime. So filled with joy and warmth that I hardly dare to believe it is even real. Who would have believed that I would be able to say I hold dearly the love of a Princess? Even the most foolish would have laughed.

Celestia, there are times I look upon you and find myself unable to fathom what you saw in me. I was bound by emotion, hardly able to contain my own struggles. I kissed you that night because I simply couldn’t take it anymore, I was so wrapped up in my own lust. I longed for you for so many years, and there you were- I just couldn’t stand it. When the moment passed, I thought I would be killed. Instead, I received a second kiss- and thousands more since that I hold dearer than any gold or priceless jewel could ever hope to match.

I see your smile and it is as though I look upon the sunrise. I see your peacefulness and feel the warm happiness of the sunset. Your laughter is like the noonday brightness shining down upon me. And the warmth of your spirit is more holy and wonderful than any words could describe. I am glad to know you, to love you. These past years have been a treasure that surpass all hopes and dreams. To merely hold your love in my heart has been more meaningful and more wonderful than all I have ever known, and I am glad to love you so.

You hold my heart forever, dear Princess of the Sun.

~ Saber Ford

May 3rd, the Year MCCCXLVII

Ford has been dealing with increased responsibilities lately, more and more he has been dealing with high-profile matters relating to the whole of the Solar Guard. Though he is certainly an accomplished soldier, it in truth is more by necessity. Some of our most experienced were lost to us during the battle in Griffonstone, and he remained to see through it all. Ford is being forced to deal with matters far beyond what would normally be required of him. I wish it were not so, but I do not see it coming to an end. Hearth Fire has come to rely on him so.

Ford takes it in stride, though I sometimes see the exhaustion in his eyes. He works hard, and is proud to do so. He has always seen his responsibilities as his way of helping me and looking after me, so I guess it gives him a great sense of happiness. But I do wish he had true time to rest. More and more I see him being pushed to the brink of exhaustion to help fill the gap. It is a gap that will never truly be filled, and even if it is, Ford will forever be one of the Royal Guard’s most senior leaders from here on out. The role is upon him now.

I have tried to find ways of helping him cope. Discreetly, of course. And without causing interference in his work. But to help his body and mind relax and recover from their weariness. Today, I asked him to come to visit with me in the mountain pools, the warmth of an early summer making the private baths a splendid place to seek shelter. When he arrived, I simply asked him to join me in the waters and let their coolness flow. Little words were spoken and few needed to be. As the time went by, we let the silence fill the gap. I watched as the tension freed his muscles, each moment that passed allowed his shoulders to relax further. His jaw unclenched and the shadows behind his eyes lessened. Though there was tiredness in his smile, it was a genuine thing.

When the pure waters of the pool had done their work, we settled out on the pathway and found a place that overlooked the city. Parties and celebrations have become common in Canterlot at night now, and we looked down into a city of resplendent light and happiness. The fear and anxiety we had known a year ago have gone completely, allowing both Griffon and Equestrian to mingle peacefully once more. Though the merrymakers below us did not know it, they were spied upon. Occasionally Ford and I would make remarks about the things we saw, or point out small moments that were occurring before our eyes. It was a small, fleeting glimpse into the world of others.

Finally, I heard a long, wearisome sigh from beside me and turned to see Ford sagging where he sat, a look of discontent upon his face.

“What is the matter?” I asked him.

“Celestia, do you ever feel old compared to those around you? Maybe even compared to your sister?” he asked.

It was a strange question. Yes, I was certainly far older than all those I knew, including Ford- and my sister, though only a brief span between our entrances into this world. Did I feel older than them? Not truly? My immortality gave me the appearance of a woman in her mid-30’s, despite how long I had lived upon this earth. Those whose appearance gave a greater look of age, in many ways, felt older and wiser than I. But never did I truly feel older than those around me.

“I cannot say that I do,” I replied. “What makes you ask such things?”

He gave another sigh, and I wondered if I saw a new line be added to his face. “I feel stretched thin, Tia,” he said. “Look down there. You see couples and friends, men and women, so many right around my age. Yet I feel more separate from them than I have ever known, like I’m worlds apart. I feel old.” He gave this wretched sort of laugh that I did not enjoy hear escaping his lips. “Is this what it is like to grow up? Or have I been struck by something worse?”

“You work too hard. That is what ails you,” I told him. “You take too much responsibility on your own shoulders rather than delegating, or asking for aid. I know Hearth Fire asks much of you, but that does not mean every task he gives you must be completed by you alone.”

“I am needed. It’s what’s asked of me,” he countered.

“And I need you in your wholeness, not as someone who wearies of his life. As do they.” I put my hand upon him and brought him beside me, kissing his cheek. “You are tired. Not old. You weary because you allow yourself no rest. Do you not think I afford myself no relaxation or reprieve?”

“You’re the Princess. You can do whatever you want,” he said with an impish grin.

“Yes… that is somewhat true,” I admitted. “But what I mean is that you need to allow yourself rest. True rest, not just sleep. Your mind needs a way to escape your duties. I know that you and I have our moments together, but what would you say to me teaching you lessons?”

“Lessons on what? I am no spellcaster,” he said.

“Nothing of the sort,” I laughed. “Ways of healing. Science and arts. Meditation and how to examine oneself. There is a method to it, though it may seem like madness.”

“And what should I expect from it all?”

“A healthier, well-rested mind. And greater peace in your heart. Does it scare you?” I added, hoping my teasing would strike his pride.

“Not at all. Just that you know I am not a scholarly person,” he replied, a hint of fire now evident in his voice. “I can certainly try.”

“I am surprised it took this long to convince you,” I said, kissing his forehead. “After all, it only means more time with me. Is that not desirable any longer?”

He laughed, this time a gentler, softer sound. “Desirable is too weak a word to describe what I feel.”

“Then why not show me instead?” I said, taking him by the hand. “Have you ever given your lady a dance?”

And so, that night, we danced until the moon shone bright in the midnight sky.

October 24th - October 27th, the Year MCCCXLVII

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October 24th, the Year MCCCXLVII

… I truly do not know what to say. How could I put words to how I feel at this moment? Elated? Terrified? Ecstatic? Petrified? No word I can conjure is good enough.

Actually, I may start with shame. I think my shock hurt poor Ford’s feelings. I certainly didn’t mean to do so. It just was… so sudden. I am still stunned, leaving me no option but to bring myself here to put my thoughts on paper. I cannot confide in Luna just yet, though I doubt she would be of great help for such a dilemma as this. She is too biased. Cadance, perhaps? She is busy with her family in the Crystal Empire, as well as assuring its rule. Let her rest. Besides, I cannot be influenced by any outside source. This decision must be mine alone.

I don’t really know where to begin. Is there anything I should say? Maybe I should just state the obvious, and perhaps the astonishment of it all will start to fade away…

Ford asked me to marry him. Of course that was his end goal through all of this. Not a position of power; that is not what I mean at all. But he saw it all as a courtship, a journey towards something greater. What else would he hope to see after these past two years?

The evening seemed all so simple. There was no great momentous build-up, no wondrous, romantic night. Just a normal, peaceful night together. We walked through the mountain caves, took refuge in the warmth of the garden where the early winter could not reach us. It was our place of solace, and though it was wonderful to be with him, I saw no indication of his motives. He was not particularly nervous, no signs of pre-occupation.

Oh heaven help me, how confident was he that I was to immediately say ‘yes?’ Did he expect some great rapturous delight from my side, or perhaps tears? I must have crushed him.

We had both said little through the evening, simply enjoying the presence of one another when he struck up a conversation. He seemed so relaxed- it must have been his lead-up.

“Celestia?” was all he said at first.

“Yes?” I replied.

“I probably have asked you this before, but do you love me?” he asked.

I laughed. “As if you need to ask such a thing,” I told him. “I love you more than anyone I have ever known.”

“Even though I am mortal, and you are not,” he said.

“That is true. Do you wonder if it makes me hesitant at times?”

“The thought has crossed my mind,” he confessed.

“It has before. Not any longer. Early on I did wonder, but now I have accepted my fate. I will love you to the end, no matter which end we face. I hope you know that,” I said.

“I do. Sometimes I just need to hear it to be sure. Today, especially,” he said.

“Oh? What makes today so important you?”

He had been facing ahead, his eyes focused on the horizon rather than on me. But suddenly he turned to look at me, an unusual focus in his eyes. Had he become nervous at that moment? “So you love me?” he asked again.

“Of course I do.”

“No matter what?”

“No matter what,” I assured him.

“Then will you marry me?”

I admit, when his words first met my ears, I did not truly comprehend the gravity of what he had just said. I’m sure he was hoping my reaction would be instantaneous, but instead my reaction was, “What?”

“Celestia, I love you, from the end of my days into eternity. And I want to marry you,” Ford said, a fire in his voice unlike anything else I had ever heard. “What do you say?”

Finally, what he was asking sunk in. My eyes went wide, my mouth slightly agape as my breath fled from my lungs. Marriage. A royal engagement. The soldier marrying his princess at last. An avalanche of thoughts rushed to my brain as the enormity of what he was asking truly broke through. I couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. It was not that I didn’t love him in return, but for it to have finally come this far...

Distantly I saw his face falter? “Princess?” he asked quietly. “I do need an answer here.”

“Ford…” I whispered. “My dear Ford, I- I don’t know if I can answer that question right now.”

“Is something… wrong?” he asked, his countenance plummeting. I began to panic all the more as I knew I had just destroyed him.

“Ford, the only thing wrong here is me. Simply the shock of it, I don’t know what to say. You do understand what you’re asking, don’t you?” I said to him. “What they’ll do to you when the truth is finally revealed?”

“I do. I’ve made my decision. I’m sick of skulking around and hiding as though I’ve something to be ashamed of,” he said firmly, regaining some of his lost confidence. “A long time ago, you told me I wasn’t the first to love a princess. All I’m doing is proving that someone does love you- and I want to for a lifetime.”

I was still reeling. Poor Ford, you deserved someone with more certainty, more grace and kindness than I offered- and less power. If only it had been so simple in my mind!

“Ford… I am sorry, I cannot answer that right now,” I told him. “I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I need to think this through, and give you the answer you deserve. You deserve a better moment than what I have given you.”

He struggled to keep his expression serene. I am certain I saw tears begin to form in his eyes. But when he spoke, his voice remained steady and calm, just as it had been all through the night. “Then perhaps this,” he said. “Let us be apart from one another for now. I will not press you for an answer. When you have made your decision, just… let me know. I will accept whatever you give me. At least I’ll know it is the truth.”

He left without another word, disappearing into the mountain and out of sight. I stood there, simply a bundle of wrecked nerves and feeling as though I had just destroyed my beloved.

I retreated to my chambers over an hour ago, and I am sure my evening pacing has left a trail on the wooden floor. I feel just as confused as I did the night he kissed me that night two years ago. I said I love him- and I do. So why am I so hesitant in all of this?

I do not think I will be able to sleep tonight. But I also doubt my ability to properly think through this at the moment. I will retire for the night. Maybe a fresh perspective on all of it will be revealed to me tomorrow.

October 25th, the Year MCCCXLVII

Every time. I swear, every time I try to sleep on a decision, I only allow the tumult within my heart to multiply. The only thing greater than my uncertainty is my shame! Oh Ford, I am so sorry. I wish I had simply said yes, but then I would not have given you the most truthful answer. You deserve the best I can give you. Right now, the best gift I can give you is not love but honesty, and that will take time to bring forth.

I love Ford. That I do not doubt. Not an immature, girlish thing, nor the passionate, quickly doused flames of a weekend fling. It is not summer love that exists only for a moment before disappearing in the coolness of winter. This is greater than the sum of it all, a deep, heartfelt thing. As steady and sure as the flow of a river, full of life and gentle as a spring rain. I love Ford more than I could love anyone else, in this age or the next.

So what is my hesitation? Partially, as much as I would like to not admit it, the uncertainty comes from what will be said of me. They will claim I seduced him, or that I bewitched him. It is a fair thought for the people to think- I am the Princess, they will say. I can do whatever I wish, so I took a young man from my Royal Guard and married him. Political ties may become weakened because of my decision. Those who see themselves as potential suitors will withdraw their support of the kingdom. Would the Griffons react in anger? Peregrine gave his proposal in earnest.

I hate to think such things, particularly when I should hardly be the focus of this rumination. What they will say of me is inconsequential in the long run. Far, far worse things will be said of Ford. Every rank he has ever gained will be called into question. His very position in the Royal Guard will be suspect, believing it all came because of his romance with me rather than his own skill. They will hurl insults at him, mock him, and throw everything they can at him in the hopes of destroying his integrity. His will be raked over the coals worse than any name in history, all for the simple crime of loving me. My blood boils just thinking of it. It is not fair to him at all! Ford’s boyhood love grew into the affection of a man, and all he has ever done is prove his worth over and over. He would not be deserving of the vitriol he would receive.

What would become of his place within the Solar Guard? Shining Armor, as the Crystal Prince, has come to lead the military. Would a position be made for Ford to do the same? It would only bring more criticism, saying that he married me only for a grab at power. If they dare compare him to vile monsters such as Sombra or Tirek…

He is young, in the political world. Ford may not truly be ready to handle what would be asked of him. Equestria’s first true Prince…

I can go no further tonight. I have laid out my anxieties so as to have them extracted from my spirit. I can do no more. Now I must ponder them, and finally discover my true answer.

October 26th, the Year MCCCXLVII

I have not forgotten. I am uneasy. Afraid I will act rashly.

But Ford and I crossed paths today. The longing in his face is undeniable. He was with his fellow soldiers. He could have revealed himself. I do not think he can stand waiting any longer, lest his feelings break him completely.

I must make my decision soon.

October 27th, the Year MCCCXLVII

I have made my choice. With help from an unexpected source.

I have made it a habit as of late to travel through Canterlot at least once a week. To keep myself well reminded of the people I serve, to remember how to cherish and truly care for them. It as a wondrous way to relax and simply let go of my royal position.

A few shops and other places are among those I have become familiar with. One of them being Rarity’s boutique, where I can often find a sharp-witted conversation in Sassy. She is intelligent, and has –though she does not know it- a well-refined sense for sleuthing. If I was to ever have a spy network… I am becoming distracted.

The weather became unusually blustery as the afternoon drew in, so I found myself retreating for shelter, and with the boutique nearby, I decided to visit a bit early- and in so doing found an unexpected surprise.

“Princess Celestia!” The gasp was so dramatic it could only belong to one woman. “It is a wonderful surprise to see you here, Your Highness! I am sorry for the clutter, if we had known you were coming!”

“You are perfectly fine, Rarity,” I said, a small laugh at the edge of my voice. How long had it been since I had last laughed? “I hope I am not intruding on anything important.”

“Oh heavens no, Your Highness, not at all!” Rarity said, snapping her fingers and sending a nearby box into the ether. “Is there anything I can help you with, or are you just dropping in for a visit?”

“Just a visit, I’m afraid. But please, if you need to complete any tasks, do not let me interfere.”

“Oh, we were just about to go through a new series of shipments, Your Higness,” Rarity said. “I’ve been trying to create a new line- have it ready for the spring, was my thought. Now that the orders have finally come in, we were about to give them a quick check.”

“A new line?” I asked. Fashion was not truly my forte, but I enjoyed hearing someone speak on a subject they enjoyed.

“Yes, my latest inspiration!” Rarity immediately began to fall under her own spell. “I toiled night and day, struggling to find my muse! Until at last, before I had lost all hope, my inspiration fell from the heavens! It was music to my ears, and suddenly I felt more alive than I had in years! It will surely be the talk of Canterlot for years to come!”

I held my laughter in check, trying my best not to hurt her feelings. “I am truly glad for you, Rarity. I know it means a great deal to you.”

“Rarity! I just received a letter!” Sassy appeared from the back of the shop, in obvious distress and yet to notice my presence. “The model from Manehatten won’t be arriving for the evening shoot, the train’s been delayed!”

“What? What happened?” Rarity asked, her attention now focused on this new problem.

“Late fall flooding coming from the north. They’re afraid to take the train over the bridge into the central region. Do you want me to call the photographer and cancel?” Sassy suddenly noticed my standing nearby. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Your Highness, I didn’t mean to ignore you so!”

“You are fine, Sassy, don’t worry about me. I am sorry about the train. Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked, sealing my fate.

“I don’t think so, Princess. It was all set in stone for us to do the photoshoot today, but with no model-” Sassy stopped speaking instantly. The two women looked at one another, dared a glance at me, and then stared back at one another. They were debating something silently, perhaps weighing the risks of the action.

“Princess Celestia,” Rarity said, her voice taking on a nervous giggle that so often plagued her during moments of duress. “I hate to ask such a thing- it’s quite unbecoming of me, really. But it is a bit of an emergency for us, and- well, the opportunity is right there, I don’t want it to go to waste. And only if you agree, we won’t force you- well of course we won’t force you, you’re a Princess, we can hardly force you to do anything-”

“Rarity, please,” I said, trying to cut through her worries. “It is fine. Please, what can I do to help?”

“Well, since the model won’t be able to show- and it’s too late to find a replacement easily… would you- would you be willing… to maybe model a dress or two for us?” Rarity asked meekly.

“Of course, I would be happy to!” I said pleasantly, hoping it would be a welcome diversion from my own thoughts. “Is there anything you need me to do?”

Rarity gave a squeal of delight and looked ready to faint. “Oh, Sassy, think of it! A picture of Princess in Celestia in- we’ll never be able to make enough of them!”

“I’ll go through the shipment, start selecting the best one we can!” Sassy said, eyeing my figure. “Princess, I hope you don’t mind, but we’ll need to get your measurements before we try anything on. We’ll want to have you wearing what will flatter you best, of course! It would hardly do for a Princess to appear poorly!”

The two ecstatic women practically dragged me into the back, ushering me to the side while they bent over a series of dresses that sat obscured in their garment bags, I unable to see what they looked like. I heard a few snatches of their muttering, and caught an occasional glance in my direction. “No, not this one. It doesn’t work… not enough curve on the waist, this one won’t do… we’re overthinking this… No, I will not settle here… This one? Yes, I think so, too. And so timeless!”

They set to work with a series of measuring tapes immediately afterwards. “Please, Your Highness,” Sassy said, taking a black bandana in her hands. “I know it is unbecoming of us, but before we can begin to put you in your dress, we will need to blindfold you. It is a bit of a thing of mine, not letting initial impressions ruin the dress. We’ll help you through it all, of course!”

“Very well, then,” I said, allowing her to tighten the blindfold across my eyes and my world went dark. As they began their work, my royal garments were gently taken away from my body and set somewhere aside. In their place, I felt a wonderful softness brush against my skin that felt as though water against my fingertips. I wanted to sneak a look at the garment, for surely something that exquisite to the touch must be glorious to the eyes.

“Please lift your arms, darling. Hold your hands out straight…”

“A quick breath, please. We don’t want it to be too tight.”

“Just stand still for a moment…”

“A bit more, I think… and there! We’re done! The blindfold is coming off now, Princess, just a moment, please!”

Suddenly my world regained sight and I felt a wonderful lightness all along my body, a sensation so marvelous that I wondered what it was made of. I turned to Rarity who was just to my side, and upon her face was a look of absolute awe. “Oh my,” she whispered. “Princess…”

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“No, not- not at all,” Sassy said faintly. “Princess, just look over here, please…”

I turned and became rigid. It was a whiteness clearer and purer than snow. Upon my arms were gloves made of soft lace, ending just before reaching the shoulder. The neckline was conservative but daring, a jewel-neck style that flattered the breast but did not focus attention on it. The silhouette was hardly different from my normal attire, but the silken fabric glowed faintly in the light, as though the sun I represented had come down to shine upon it, with the gown ending at floor length, a small train just behind me. It was extraordinarily, unfathomably beautiful, and my heart seized at the sight of something so wondrous. “A wedding dress…”

“Yes, Your Highness! Oh, and it fits you perfectly!” Rarity said delightedly, jumping up and down where she stood. “I came to the idea months ago- what girl doesn’t want to feel radiant at her own wedding? I was having trouble finding inspiration, but suddenly I thought of you and your sister! Something serene, elegant, and a dash of timeless beauty to make it all work! Of course, this style is best for your figure, but I have others that are similar, for those wishing to try something a little more suiting to their tastes- Princess, whatever is the matter?”

I felt my face begin to crumple at the sight of it. The dress was flawless from head to toe, perfect in shape and form. It was the last word of beauty I had ever seen in such a thing. Any girl would be desperate to wear such a thing on her wedding day… including me. I could hold it in no longer and began to cry.

I didn’t think it was some trick to convince me. Rarity and Sassy certainly could not have known of my decision. The moment had simply come at the right time, as all moments do, and in this one, I was overwhelmed by a mixture of delight, fear, and grief that it had taken me so long to come to the one conclusion I had always known I would. As I wept, the two women gave cries of sympathy and came to my side, shushing me until the tears began to cease their flow.

“I am sorry. This is so silly of me,” I said thickly, pushing my tears aside. “I do not know what came over me.”

“Oh, Princess, you have nothing to apologize for!” Rarity said kindly. “Every girl wants to feel beautiful, including you! Just the passion of the moment, that’s all! A bit of the touch of romantic longing.”

She had no idea how true her words rang. “Does it still strike you from time to time, Rarity?” I asked.

“You can hardly imagine, Princess. It’s my only dream that may never be fulfilled,” she said wistfully. “The world’s still spinning, and I’m not getting any younger. But when I find my Prince…” she sighed, staring away blissfully. “I’ll cherish him for as long as I can. I promise that! Maybe you just felt the same, Princess Celestia.”

“I believe I did,” I said, a laugh growing in my voice. “I know exactly how you feel.”

“But certainly you must have suitors! Anyone would love to be with you, Princess!” Sassy cried. “I can only imagine how wonderful the moment would be! The whole world would come here to see you be married! Every man, woman, and child would adore you! Every man be envious of your husband, I can hardly dare to think of how it would be…”

"Oh, I can imagine it already! Princess, if you ever choose to marry, I beg you to let me design your wedding dress!" Rarity said, riddled with emotion at the very thought of it. "You wouldn't be charged for it, of course! Just to be the one who made your wedding dress would be more valuable than any gold or jewels on earth!"

I gave a hiccup, wondering if she already had designed it. "I'll make it a promise," I said.

We acted like silly girls the rest of the day, the photoshoot brief but simple. Rarity was nearly in tears the entire time, certain she would sell out the entire line the moment it was revealed. As the evening came across the sky, I said my goodbye and disappeared, flickering towards the garden. Should I summon Ford and announce it immediately? Keep it private until the proper moment? I summoned forth parchment and ink, trying to write a letter to summon him before simply throwing it aside and snapping my fingers, Ford appearing before me in an instant.

“Holy jeez!” he cried, likely having received the shock of his life. In his hands was a book and he stood in his civilian clothes, I hardly caring that I had likely made him vanish before his own friends. He suddenly recognized his surroundings, peering about wildly until his eyes settled on me. “Princess! What on earth-”

I kissed him so tightly that I didn’t give him a chance to speak, holding him close as though each moment we shared together was worth a thousand lifetimes. Finally, we broke apart, Ford stunned and delighted at my excitement.
So I told him yes. And now, we are left with a problem unlike anything he or I have ever faced:
How on earth are we going to break the news to everyone?

Decembr 8th, the Year MCCCXLVII - January 2nd, the Year MCCCXLVIII

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December 8th, the Year MCCCXLVII

Oh, dear sister Luna. I love you more than you know. We have been through so much, you and I. Whether it be the struggles to unite a kingdom, the millennia apart, or the endless conflicts that seem to plague us now. We have overcome differences of ideology and belief, seen darkness unfathomable, fought against hordes beyond count, yet still we have remained of one faith and spirit. We have always fought and worked to protect the land we call home.

But heaven help me today, for there is no person on this earth I consider a greater pain in the neck!

Ford and I have deliberated slowly about how we are to announce our engagement. I know most would normally just take to telling their beloved friends and family. However, as much as we would like to be normal people, Ford and I have less simple issues to deal with. For a time, we have simply let it be until either one of us possessed a clear idea on how to come forward about it all.

I wish I could say it was my idea to talk to Luna, but that truthfully belongs to Ford. We have taken to spending nearly every evening together, I beginning to teach him greater depths of history and law of the country. He holds no enthusiasm for the subjects, but he knows as well as I that his future role in this kingdom requires he become knowledgeable. During our last session together, he began to question me on our next step. It had been some time since I had accepted his proposal, so of course he wanted to know what I thought to do next.

“It will come as a shock to people no matter when we announce it,” I told him, he and I relaxing as we settled down, spending our remaining hour together over a deck of cards. “I wonder if it should wait for the New Year, rather than announcing it before the holiday season has passed.”

“You think it wise to wait that long?” he asked. The card game had been his idea, simple ways of spending one’s time a common practice in the military. My chambers had become our sanctuary, the one place in the world where we could truly be ourselves. “I’m guessing you’re thinking of bringing it forward at your Annual Address.”

“That was the hope. People wish to see something hopeful when the New Year comes around. The dead of winter can be difficult to push through.”

“And you think that will give them something to look forward to?”

“Whether or not they do, I will have no regrets in the matter,” I replied. “It is just a means of announcing it carefully. I have born controversy before, but it will be unlike anything you have yet known. Your own brethren may come to hate your very name.”

“Let them,” Ford scoffed. He eyed me as he laid down his next card. “Have you told anyone yet?”

“Not as such.”

“Not even your sister? I’m surprised.”

Luna. I felt my body stiffen as I recalled the last encounter all of three of us shared, where Ford very nearly lost several limbs. The memory was less than pleasant.

“I’m taking that as a no,” Ford said. “Anxious about it?”

“She is protective of everyone she cares about- and that includes me,” I said. “And I’m guessing you recall your last meeting.”

Ford rubbed his neck, perhaps unconsciously. “Do you want to do it alone, or should I be there with you?”

“I don’t know. It will be unpleasant either way. But perhaps having you there will give me some additional resolve. I would not be against it.”

“Then we shouldn’t wait. Where is she now?” Ford asked, throwing down his cards and rising to his feet. Perhaps he saw the surprise in my eyes, and he nodded as though to affirm his decision. “Might as well. The longer we wait the worse it will get.”

I didn’t find the idea appealing, but the wisdom in the decision was obvious. “She is likely out on patrol with her guard, if I were to wager it,” I said, snapping my fingers and bringing a quill and parchment to my side. “I shall get her attention- but perhaps you should be out of range, just in case.”

It was Ford’s credit that he didn’t laugh, simply heeding my words and moving back some as I continue to write my missive. With another snap it was gone, already heading towards its recipient. I knew it would only be a short amount of time before it reached her- and what chaos unfolded after that would be difficult even for Discord to match.

Ford sighed. “This isn’t going to be fun, is it?”

“Most certainly not,” I said.

There was a Crack! like the sound of thunder, and Luna appeared before us both, a heavy axeblade in hand and her expression absolutely murderous. “Where is he?” she bellowed, her weapon swinging in her hands with the intent of its usage. “Where is that unworthy filth so that I may crush his skull beneath my boots?!”
“Luna, calm yourself,” I said, resigned for a vicious fight. “Nothing wicked or devious has been conjured here. The choice is mine just as much as it is Ford’s.”

I do not know whether she even heard me, she peering around for a target. Ford had stepped into the shadows of my room, likely trying to bring himself out of firing range. A wise strategy, but it did not last forever. Luna’s dark vision found him immediately and she set upon him like a dog after its prey. “You!” she snarled, taking hold of his neck as though she wished to throttle him. “You foul, loathsome cockroach not worthy to lick my sister’s boots-”

“Enough of this!” I strode across the room and wrenched her away from him, my grip as hot as fire and as steady as iron, though Luna resisted with every ounce she could muster. “Sister, what on earth are you trying to prove here?”

“He has tricked you!” she snarled, practically spitting in her rage. “That oaf has his sights set on a throne, not you! What other end could be his goal?”
“And you think I would not notice such an attempt?” I asked, my voice cold for she had wounded my pride. It was an insulting thing for her to say, that I would not be aware of such a falsity. “Do you truly think so little of me that I would be so easily conned?”

Perhaps Luna had not even thought her words might mean something so cold, for she suddenly became silent, though her eyes still burned with fiery rage against him.

“Settle yourself. We will discuss this like adults,” I told her.

“Sister, this is not wise. You know full well the court may not even accept such a thing to pass!” she whispered.

“What they can decide in regards to my future is limited, particularly in matters such as this,” I replied. “No one on earth decides whom I am to love besides myself, and do not suggest otherwise.”

“But how do you let this just happen? Surely some devilry is at work here? Sister, no mortal man is worthy of you, something like this is not normal!”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Ford said, voicing himself for the first time since Luna’s appearance. “I know she is beyond me, anyone can see that!”

“You! Silence yourself, soldier- this is not a conversation for those such as you!” Luna hissed.

“He is my fiancée- and that gives him as much right to speak as anyone. We do not look down upon anyone, sister,” I reminded her.

“How do you think this happened, Princess?” Ford challenged. “Do you think I tricked your sister? Hoodwinked her, or something similar? Do you think so lowly of us both as to assume the worst?”

“I assume nothing but to protect my sister from all threats- both outside and within,” Luna said fiercely, going toe-to-toe with the young man. “If you had the courtesy and common sense in you, you would now be on your knees.”

“I serve your sister- not you, Princess,” he fired back, a dangerous thing to say to an already angered Princess of the Night. “If she dictates that I stand, I stand. I do not have any inclination to take any modicum of power from her whatsoever. Now I want to explain why this has happened, if you will let me do so.”

Luna seemed extremely unwilling to let the moment pass, but relented nonetheless. “Very well, then,” she said harshly. “Speak your mind, and I may not try to kill you in the morning.”

“Do you think I don’t love your sister?” Ford asked. “I’ve loved your sister since I was a boy, from the moment I first saw her. Just to be able to serve her was more than I could have imagined! This- this is beyond any of my wildest dreams!”

“And you mean to say that no thoughts of grandeur have entered your mind since this courtship began?” Luna sneered. I had never seen her be this cold towards another person before.

“Princess, I don’t want power! I don’t care for it at all, I just want to marry your sister!” he pressed. “If the rank and title comes along with it, then so be it- but that is not my end goal. When this is over and done, I want to continue my service. I love being a soldier almost as dearly as I love your sister. Do you still doubt me on this?”

“You are mortal!” Luna objected. “You will die and only bring my beloved sister pain. Is that what you wish for her to know?”

As much as I wished it were not so, it was true. Ford had a limited lifespan, while mine remained free to last as long as it wished. Luna’s objection rang painfully true.

“Well?” she pressed.

“I am aware of it, but I do not regret my decision,” he said slowly. “I will change nothing.”

“Then you are selfish! You do not care of how it will hurt my sister-”

“Your sister is right beside you, Luna,” I said angrily, “and I do not waver in my choice either.”

“Sister- please, I beg you. Reconsider,” Luna said. “This road will bring you nothing but grief, you must know this.”

“I will consider nothing but the path I have chosen,” I said firmly. No matter the depths of affection my sister held for me, I would not waver now. “What you have said is true, but it does nothing to make me reconsider.”

“He will die. You will not. Are you ready to live with that loneliness the rest of your endless days?” she asked. This was not hatred of Ford, but love for her sister. Her eyes held the pain evident for me to see.

“If I must, then so I will,” I said. “Sister, I love you dearly, but I will choose this no matter what you say. I would rather have you on my side through it all.”

Luna hesitated, her gaze flickering back and forth between me and Ford as she mulled the decision over. True, Ford had done nothing to win her over, but she cared for me deeply and that might be enough to sway her decision.

“Sister, if that is what you wish,” Luna said slowly, “then I will object no more. But please, consider my words. He will die, that is his fate.”

“Then we will make our own fate,” I said.

“Is that even possible?” Ford asked. “No one can be made immortal, as far as I know. Are you certain?”

“We will find a way.”

Luna appeared unconvinced, but finally relented, turning to Ford with a strange sadness in her eyes. “I must return to my soldiers,” she said. “I accept your decision, but I beg you: bring no pain to my sister.”

“I have no intent to do so,” Ford said.

“Few do,” Luna replied, vanishing in an instant. Her acceptance was wonderful, but she had brought forth a problem I had no real way of surmounting. Ford will die…

Unless we find a way to defy death itself.

December 9th, the Year MCCCXLVII

Twilight! Why has Twilight not risen in my mind through all of this? Her knowledge of history and myth is second to none in this world. If anyone has the answer that will bring resolution, then it is certainly her…

Though as I begin to remember Twilight’s hyper-neuroticism, I begin to remember why I am sometimes hesitant to share information with her. She has no knowledge of Ford or his relationship with me. I remember how she reacted when she discovered that her brother was betrothed to Cadance; I can only assume that news of my marriage, the one who has been her age-long mentor, would only cause her to explode in shock. As much as I would like to ask her openly, perhaps the intimate details would be best divulged in a face-to-face conversation.

As much as I have tried to find a way around it, Luna’s words remain true. Ford is mortal. I am not. No matter how well he remains, or what injuries he avoids, death will come for him as surely as the sun sets. Ford, knowing nothing else, has readily accepted that fate. I, however, am more hesitant. If there is a way to subdue death, then I wish to find it. Ford’s presence is now part of my world just as Luna is. To lose him would be to lose part of myself. If he can remain with me, as endless and untouchable as I, then I would have my world kept pure and whole until the end of ages comes down.

I must think of a way to speak to Twilight about the matter discreetly. Do I speak to her of Ford over parchment and ink? Doubtful. That portion is what will remain with me for now. As for the rest… finding a way to request it of her without revealing too much would be best. I trust Twilight deeply, but I do not think a great shock would be the kindest way to bring her into the secret. I will request it of her, but how to frame the question? Simply outright, or give her a veiled reason? Certainly not lying to her, that is hardly fair. Perhaps outright is best. Tell her that I am performing some of my own research into the nature of immortality and wish to know if there is a means of manufacturing it artificially, and if she knows any further on the subject.

I have, for now, a plan. May the rest run so smoothly!

December 11th, the Year MCCCXLVII

I believe I have come to understand Ford’s hesitation in the matter of an immortal life. I think he fears it. Not unfairly, as the mere idea of existing endlessly is not an easy thing to comprehend. It is not an unfair thing to be afraid of.

We spent the day together, a rare event in itself. With the Hearth’s Warming season upon us, I and my Royal Guard haven been busy among the people, spreading whatever cheer we can manage. Food and useful items to the poorer families, along with gifts and toys for younger children. Why it has taken me so long to think of such things and act upon them is unknown to me. I feel more like a ruler than I ever have before.

As we had finished, Ford, who was in charge of the detachment that had been performing the work, dismissed them to return to the palace while he remained with me. Some appeared uneasy about the decision but relented. I half wonder if Ford is becoming cavalier in discretion, perhaps to help normalize our time around one another in preparation for the upcoming announcement. When they had left, we slowly walked back to the palace on our own, spending time with those we came across and reveling in conversation with merrymakers wherever we went.

“Princess? Can I ask you something?” Ford asked as we walked along.

“Do you really need to ask such a thing any longer?” I told him.

“The world doesn’t know quite yet. I do not wish to seem overly familiar with you before everyone just yet.”

Perhaps he was more careful than I had given him credit for. “Very well,” I said. “Ask away.”

“What is immortality like?”

I struggled to answer that easily. “I do not quite know what you mean.”

“Well…” Ford struggled to come up with his own answers. “You never age. Your body heals rapidly from damage, death can’t touch you. I just- don’t know what it feels like. It just seems lonely.”

“It certainly can be,” I admitted, my mind drifting to the millennia I spent without my dear sister. “More lonely and isolating than you can imagine. But it does not always need be so. And it will not be again.”

“And what makes you certain of that?” he was challenging me on every answer, something he had never done before.

“Because you will be beside me. Luna will have returned to me. I have those who will withstand the endless turn of time right alongside me. I will see many faces come and go, but I will be able to see their legacy live on and flourish. I will have a sister to hold to, and a dear beloved for all my days.”

“Does it hurt? To just, see it all pass by?”

“Not if you have one to share it with,” I said gently, reaching for his hand though the whole world could see us- I retracting it before my mistake could be seen. “Does the thought intimidate you?”

Ford said nothing, walking alongside me as though that was enough to give an answer. I did not press him, we two enjoying our winter stroll through Canterlot. The streets were lined with holly and wreaths of green, lights of all colors strung across houses and lampposts, bows of red hung neatly with care. To see such joy among my people was wonderful, over and over again no matter how many years trickled by.

“Princess?”

“Mhm?”

“If Twilight finds a way,” Ford said slowly, “If what you’re hoping for is true… then I want to find a way to do it again. So we never have to fear death again.”

Through it all, I had been solely concerned with how to preserve Ford’s life. And as for him, he wished to find a cure that would change the world forever. The heart of a leader beats within him strong and sure.

December 17th, the Year MCCCXLVII

The stage has been set. Ford has remained here in the palace for the holidays. Luna has become more amiable to the idea of our marriage, or at least accepting of it, which is as much as I could hope for. Twilight is working diligently on her research. And on the third of January, the announcement will be made to the world.

Small preparations for the affair are slowly being made. One of them that Ford’s uniform will need to be… remade. If he is to step into the realm of royalty, just as Shining Armor did some years back, then he will need to look the part. Even more so, since he will be marrying- well, me. A ruler of a kingdom. So who do I turn to for such a thing? Rarity, of course. The best clothes designer in Equestria- and also one of its biggest gossips.

I wasn’t at all sure how to broach the subject with her. I would need her absolute discretion, for if word leaked out early, the aftereffect could be disastrous. Though after some time spent worrying over it all, I decided that I was being silly. I was giving too much concern to the subject, wishing for it to be just a certain way. Why not simply tell her the truth and ask for her compliance in keeping it secret?

Yesterday, it was declared that Ford was to be given the day off, and privately I informed him that he would be sent ahead to wait for my signal to enter. Sassy was sent word early that Rarity’s presence was requested, and that a level of privacy was needed for a fitting. Knowing the two fashionistas, it would be more than enough to guarantee a private audience. Today, as the afternoon set upon us, I closed Day Court early and discreetly slipped away to my chambers, leaving behind my more regal garb and vanishing, arriving just as the clock struck two on the hour and finding the boutique empty- just as I had hoped.

“Princess Celestia!” Sassy was the first to greet me, coming from the back with an air of unusual excitement on her face. “It is a wonderful pleasure to see you again! Please excuse Rarity, she is currently making sure everything is set, I hope you do not mind!”

“Not at all, Sassy,” I said. “Would you please let Rarity know I have arrived? I would like to speak to you both before we begin.”

“Of course, let me bring her out. Excuse me, Princess-” The young woman was off like a shot, leaving me in the empty store. With a snap of my fingers, a small tongue of flame erupted from my fingertips, my aim bent towards the window where Ford would be searching. In two minutes, he would enter the room.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting, Princess, please forgive me,” Rarity said, appearing suddenly from the back room with her usual air of drama about her. She never seemed to tire of emoting so heavily, a strength I had to admire. “When I was told you were asking for a personal fitting I almost leapt out of my skin. Just to be able to have such a moment is incredible- and such a surprise!”

“I believe I will have to give you one more, actually,” I said, my eyes drifting towards the nearby window.

Rarity followed my gaze and gave a swish of her finger, sending the blinds falling down and darkening the room. “Well, now that’s cared for, Princess,” she said, a professional air overcoming her, “What can I do for you today? A royal garment, or something a little more relaxed? Romantic, perhaps?”

“Rarity, I ask that you listen to me,” I said, and the two women edged closer. “What I am about to divulge to you right now is the greatest untold secret in the kingdom. Do you understand how deeply I am taking you into my confidence now? What you are about to see must not be revealed. Not until I announce it myself.”

Rarity looked perfectly set to burst from excitement. The idea of royal intrigue was almost too much for her. As if on cue, the door creaked open just a tinge and the shadowy figure of Ford entered the shop, his face hidden in darkness by his cloak.
“I am sorry, sir, but I must ask that you leave the premises at once,” Sassy said, rushing forth to greet him. “We are currently closed as we deal with a guest, so if you would be so kind as to exit-”

“He is here for me, Sassy,” I said calmly. “Ford, if you would reveal yourself.”

Ford’s hood fell from his shoulders and the outline of the soldier was laid bare, his silhouette clear against the soft light of the boutique as both Sassy and Rarity stared as though they could not quite believe their eyes. Ford did not falter under their intense gaze, though he seemed somewhat uncomfortable under such scrutiny.

“Your Majesty,” Rarity said slowly, her voice becoming shaky, “Just who is this man to you? Surely… is he-”

“Rarity, this man is Saber Ford. My fiancé… and your future prince.”

Sassy’s jaw dropped and Rarity swayed back and forth before she fell backwards, I catching her just in time before she would have hit the ground. At first I worried that she would be out for some time, but Rarity seemed to shake herself free and her resolve grew firm. The lovely fashionista took to her feet and tried to regain her composure.

“Princess, when you graciously aided us with the shoot for the wedding dress, I did not expect you to be betrothed so soon after. Just- Princess Celestia, this is- it’s- this is magnificent! Oh, it is wonderful to meet you!” Rarity ran forth and greeted Ford enthusiastically, who seemed taken aback by the woman’s vivacious nature. As the details of the engagement and our visit came forward, Sassy and Rarity took to the job eagerly- on the sole condition that she alone would be the one to design my wedding dress after the announcement had been made. With a promise to keep absolutely silent about the matter, I realized I shouldn’t have worried. Rarity’s discretion was more than trustworthy, and maybe I had caught the smallest of glimpses as to how my people would receive Ford.

The process took some time, Ford’s measurements coming first as every inch of him was wrung by a measuring tape. Rarity and Sassy squabbled a great deal as to what the official uniform should look like- Rarity favored a more classical design of a soldier’s dress uniform, while Sassy propositioned that a fashion-forward approach was the correct method. After some deliberation, and Ford’s input, Rarity’s side won out. Ford will look magnificent on the day of announcement. We’ve been assured that the final product will be complete before year’s end.

Saying my goodbyes to Ford (Sassy and Rarity cooing over us both), I vanished once more and reappeared in my chambers, and I have not left since I returned. It has been a lone day, but a successful one. We are one step closer.

December 26th, the Year MCCCXLVII

I have informed Hearth Fire that an announcement is to be made on the 3rd day of the New Year, as part of the Annual Address. As to the nature of the announcement, I declined to say, only stating that the news would be ‘great and momentous.’

Hearth Fire studied me after I had finished speaking, his searching gaze unrelenting as he studied every inch of me, perhaps looking for some sign of weakness or information that would be able to exploit. He found himself fruitless, and obviously unsatisfied.

“Your Majesty, I will ensure the announcements are spread across the kingdom for all to hear,” he said, “though I do wish to know if there is more that must be said.”

“There is, Hearth Fire, but not now,” I told him. “When the time comes, and only then.”

“Then, Your Majesty, I must know,” he pressed and my heart clenched. “Is this news you wish to announce relevant to myself? Is there something that I should know beforehand?”

How much did he know already? Had he guessed at bits and pieces? Ford and I had done our best to be discreet these past two years, but what if our rendezvous had been seen? Maybe we had revealed ourselves by accident. Either way, it truly didn’t matter at this point; in only a few days, the whole world would know the truth.

“Hearth Fire, the day before the announcement, I will reveal everything to you personally, so that you might be able to aid me in the conduction of it all,” I said finally, taking some moments to deliberate. “You will know everything. But then, and only then. Is that satisfactory to you?”

Hearth Fire seemed unwilling to let it be, but he nodded nonetheless. “As you wish, Your Majesty. I will accept your words.” He dismissed himself soon after.

I do wonder how he will react to it all. How will he take seeing one of his own soldiers become royalty?

December 31st, the Year MCCCXLVII

The time is coming soon. As the final hours of this year tick away, the announcement only comes closer. Ford’s nerves have begun to falter as the reality of what is coming sinks in. It has even begun to affect me as well. He is my pride and joy, someone I love dearly. Though I remain steadfast in my decision, though I am sure they will accept and welcome him as they once did for me, I still worry. I want them to like Ford.

Most of the castle has been celebrating the arrival of the New Year throughout the day. Hearth Fire, in better spirits than usual, has been doing his best to cheer those who still remain on duty, offering them wine for an end-of-year toast. I have rarely seen him like this, and suspect he might be somewhat drunk already. Ford, having taken the early morning shifts, has spent the last few hours of the year with me in my chambers, peppering me with questions on the forthcoming announcement. What to expect, what he will do next, what will be expected of him to do next- simply one after another, endlessly.

“You know much of it will be purely ceremonial early on,” I told him finally, his constant questions beginning to wear down my own nerves. “You are worrying needlessly. Try to relax, Ford. The announcement is three days away, you can relax until then, can’t you?”

“That’s all very easy to say, but not so easy to do,” he replied, going back to pace about the room. “There’s no precedent for this. No one I can seek advice from, anything. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“The best thing you can do with yourself is learn to be calm,” I said. “I truly sympathize with you, but your nerves will only become more frayed. Breathe slowly and take a seat again.”

Ford appeared uncertain as to the effectiveness of my words, but obeyed all the same. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked.

“The marriage? Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts,” I said.

“No, of course not! I mean the whole announcement, a public marriage, all of that- is this what you think is best?”

“I have no desire to hide you any longer. I love you dearly and am proud of you,” I told him. “I will not act as though I am ashamed of you.”

“I understand, but does it really matter, though? We could do something small and private and then it’s over-”

“And then what? Lie that I love you? See that both of us receive suitors for the rest of our days? Constantly hide and sneak around a palace until the end of days? I have no stomach for it,” I replied. “Your worry is going to wring you dry if you let this keep up, Ford. Please relax.”

Ford gave a face and shrugged, turning his gaze away from me. Though he had been exasperating most of the day, I still felt sympathetic to his plight. He had no way of knowing what to expect, what the pressures would come- nor what his comrades would say at such a revelation. Some would feel betrayed that he had never spoken of it. Others would claim he had earned nothing in his career. Though he loved me, I knew it weighed on his heart. With no other words to say, I came and settled next to him, wrapping my hand in his.

Ford gave a small, sad little laugh. “You sure you don’t want to just run off and get married somewhere?” he asked.

“My place is here- our place is here,” I said, kissing his forehead. “Be brave, beloved. I have faith in you.”

I sincerely hope the moment comes sooner rather than later.

January 1st, the Year MCCCXLVIII

Tomorrow is the day Hearth Fire will be informed. The moment is finally starting to arrive.

Ford has been on edge all day, barely able to string a sentence together. I do not believe he would blow his cover now, but he is attracting too much attention. It is going to be a long wait.

January 2nd, the Year MCCCXLVIII

It is late. Well past midnight as I sit here and write this. My own nerves are starting to fail me. When I wake, Hearth Fire will be called to me for a private meeting of importance. Ford will join me soon after, and then the whole gambit will be laid bare.

I am not certain I am ready for this.

January 2nd - January 9th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

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January 2nd, the Year MCCCXLVIII

Hearth Fire has been ill since New Year’s Eve and was unable to meet with me and Ford today to discuss the official announcement. It is unusual for him to be sick for such a long period. Despite his hopes, he has been feeling worse. I have ordered the infirmary team to care for him around the clock, despite his protests.

As much as I would like to avoid it, the Annual Address has been postponed until Hearth Fire is well again. He needs to know the full information before we continue on. Ford agrees but the extended waiting will be murderous for his already destroyed nerves. I cannot say I am enjoying it myself.

For now, we wait.

January 3rd, the Year MCCCXLVIII

Poison. Hearth Fire has been severely poisoned. If I hadn’t given him the direct order to report to the infirmary...

The entire palace is on lockdown while the source is investigated. Every food item we have, and every water source, is being thoroughly searched in the possible event that they have been contaminated. Even some of the old wine cellars that have been left untouched for years to let the product ferment are being searched. It is entirely possible that if Hearth Fire has been poisoned, so have all of us and the effects simply have yet to reach. We are already in grave danger; soon we may all be fighting for our lives.

The lockdown will continue well into tomorrow. The search will be thorough and slow to ensure accuracy. Hearth Fire’s current danger is life-threatening, and it is uncertain if he will survive. I cannot bear the thought of it happening to another.

Ford, for the time being, has taken an unexpected level of seniority within the investigation. Being Hearth Fire’s right hand, he has experience few other soldiers do, and his aid to the subordinate officers is impeccable. He will be kept busy for some time.

I do not wish to lose my Commander now. My thoughts turn to Faell’s words all those years ago- the Man of Black. Is this his doing? Has he been biding his time for this long, waiting for an opportunity to strike? And if he did, why not me? Wasn’t I his target? What about Hearth Fire is so critical that he would spoil his one chance to kill me?

January 5th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

Hearth Fire will survive. The worst of the poisoning has left his system, but the toll on his body has been tremendous. He has been ravaged, and it will be some time until he fully recovers.

Ford and I both agree: to reveal ourselves to him now when his health is frail would be dangerous. The announcement will have to wait until he is fully healthy.

My soldiers continue to investigate the incident in the hopes of discovering the source, or even who is responsible. So far, no sign has been found, and we all wonder how someone could have poisoned the one meal without poisoning the entire batch- or how it went unnoticed. I can only pray that something is found- and soon.

The Man of Black… why is the name so familiar to me, and why does it stir this sense of déjà vu? I feel like I should know something about this… but I don’t. What is wrong with me?

January 6th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

We have received a request for aid from Princess Cadance in the Crystal Empire. The details were not very specific in her letter, but it seems one of her citizens died under unknown circumstances, and both she and Shining Armor are suspicious of it all. They request myself and my Royal Guard as a consultant. With Hearth Fire still under care, he has charged Ford with taking his place as my aide for the visit.

Twilight has been frantic in her investigations on immortality as I had requested, but I have sent for her as well. A magic user as powerful as her is not to be held back, nor do I wish to not make use of her wondrous intellect. It will take her some time to join us, as she is currently on the southwestern coast, but she will eventually make her way north.

Ford and I travel light, and are already on our way. We have been moving slowly, the train constantly delayed by poor weather. It has been years since the Crystal Empire has seen winter storms as unforgiving as this. What on earth is causing this?

January 7th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

It is strange. Such an odd event, and no way to explain how it occurred, or even why. Suspicious? Not entirely? Disturbing? Assuredly.

Ford and I arrived in the Crystal Empire early this morning, the sun only just beginning to rise on the eastern horizon as we disembarked from the train and directly into a vicious snowstorm. Shining Armor was there to greet us and guide us to the palace, a detachment of his finest guards moving alongside us. Few words were spoken, and if any more had been said they were devoured by the howling of the wind. Nature was unleashing it wrath upon us in full force.

“Princess Celestia! It’s wonderful to see you again- I only wish it wasn’t under such miserable circumstances,” Cadance said as we entered the Crystal Palace, rushing to greet us with her usual warmth, though her face spoke to her concern. “I am very glad you came so quickly.”

“Likewise, Cadance,” I said in return, genuinely glad to see my young niece. “Has your family been faring well these past few days?”

Cadance’s expression only soured further as she shook her head. “The winter has been cruel these past several days. Flurry has been restless, and Gleaming Shield seems to cry constantly. I worry something worse than the weather troubles them.”

“Has there been unrest, Your Highness?” Ford asked, stepping forward and coming beside me.

Cadance’s gaze settled upon him and she suddenly appeared to be surprised, her eyes flickering back to me for only a heartbeat before returning to Ford. “I don’t believe we’ve met,” she said lightly. “What is your name, soldier?”

“Sergeant Saber Ford, Your Highness. I am here in the place of Commander Hearth Fire by his personal request.”

“Has something happened to the Commander?” Shining Armor asked, joining on the conversation. He and Hearth Fire had been well acquainted during their years serving together, Hearth Fire having been Shining Armor’s subordinate and protégé. It was no surprise he was so dully concerned.

“He is currently recovering from illness, sir,” Ford replied, the military air and professionalism of Shining Armor immediately endearing him to my beloved. “He asked that I come in his stead, while he deals with recovery and maintaining security at the palace.”

“Has something happened?” Ford’s words were political and revealed little, but Shining Armor was keen enough to know something was amiss.

“Hearth Fire was poisoned. By whom we don’t know,” I answered. “He will survive, but his health is still too weak to travel.”

Cadance and Shining Armor shared a glance. “An attempted murder in Canterlot, a potential murder here… someone is moving against Equestria.”

“A potential murder?”

“Before I speak further, let’s adjourn to the parlor,” Cadance said. “You both look frozen stiff, and the fire should be roaring. I’ll have refreshments brought in for us as well.”

The idea was appealing and I agreed promptly, the four of us setting off down the hall to our destination. Ford and Shining Armor began to grow a rapport through their shared experience of service, Shining asking Ford of life in Canterlot and his work with the Guard.

“This is the one you once wrote to me about, isn’t he?” Cadance asked, leaning in to whisper into my ear. “Your beloved?”

“Fiance now,” I replied quietly, and Cadance’s eyes danced with delight. “We were going to announce it last week, but when Hearth Fire became ill…”

“How did Luna take it?” she asked.

“You could easily guess,” I said, and Cadance giggled. She knew my sister well.

“So, what is this potential murder you speak of?” I asked when we at last settled down, I taking a seat close to the fire, Ford to my left beside me.

“We aren’t sure, but the entire circumstance is strange,” Shining Armor answered. “Two days ago, the librarian for the Crystal library was found dead in the library halls, with no sign of injury on her body anywhere. We searched the entire building but found no sign of forced entry, and no sign that anyone else had been in the building with her- what little money she had on her hadn’t been touched.”

“Was it a medical emergency that killed her?” Ford asked.

“That was our thought as well, but the coroner said there was no evidence of it,” Shining replied. “No heart attack, stroke, or seizure of any kind. It was as if she simply up and died right where she stood for no reason at all. Nor was she old, where age would threaten her daily life.”

“Was there any history about her?” I pressed.

“Quiet, rather reserved, and fairly demure. She was not the kind to make enemies easily,” Cadance said. “Shining and I have wracked our brains over this but can think of nothing. We were hoping that you would have something to suggest.”

“We might. But not here, not unless we see the library itself,” I said. “For- Sergeant, any suggestions to make?”

Ford peered into the fire as he considered his thoughts, evaluating the evidence before him. “Would a spell of some kind leave any trace on her body? A burn mark, or something similar?”

“Without a doubt. Magic is energy, no matter what it is used for,” I said.

“So the thought that a magic user could have killed her is out of the question,” he remarked. “Well then… a healthy woman dies with not a scratch on her, no sign of forced entry, no monetary theft made, no medical history, no magic- poison, maybe? Just as with Commander Hearth Fire? But then you’d have to ask who would want a librarian dead, and for what cause… Right now, Your Majesty, I do not have any reasonable assumptions to make. I would need to see more.”

We were still stumped. “How soon can we leave for the library?” I asked.

Shining Armor checked the clock upon the walls. “The storms usually die down the more the sun rises,” he said. “Perhaps in another hour the weather will have cleared enough for us to venture further. I’m sorry for the delay.”

“I’m going to check on Flurry and Shield while we wait,” Cadance said, rising to her feet and gesturing towards me. “Auntie, you should come with me. My little girls would love to see you again.”

The next hour or so was spent in relative peace, I delighted to spend my brief period of rest with Flurry Heart and Gleaming Shield. It was my first time meeting Cadance’s youngest, who looked so similar to her father. Even her expression, inquisitive and wide-eyed, resembled her daddy’s childhood appearance. It was a wonderful time that I wished had been able to last longer.

The hour passed quickly- too quickly for my liking. As Cadance and I spent our time with her children, a knock came at the door and Ford appeared.

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” he said, “but the storm has lessened. We are prepared to investigate the library, if you are ready.”

“Yes, of course,” I said, rising to my feet, and giving my goodbyes to the children.

“I never knew how much I would come to adore them,” Cadance remarked. “Tell me, Ford. Have you wondered what would happen if you and Celestia had children?”

Cadance’s tone was gentle and teasing, but Ford’s shock was too great for him to notice. His face turned pale and his eyes remained as wide as dinner plates.

“Yes, I know. I guessed the moment you walked in the door with her,” she said pleasantly. “I’m the Princess of Love, Ford- did you really think it would be hidden from me?”

Ford failed to muster an answer, and I took him to my side as we departed, Cadance and I both laughing all the while. It was poor sport to tease him so, but it was too good a moment to resist.

The trip to the library was frigid. Though the wind had died, the snowfall was still ever constant as we made the journey, slowing our steps and chilling us to the bone. I took point and did my best to melt a path through the thicker snow, but it still fell at our feet and covered the ground till the whole world was white.

“I have not seen a winter this heavy in all our time here,” Cadance said as we entered the library. “This storm has been one of several, ever since November. They have only grown worse.”

It was unusual. Another addition to the strange events that had been occurring these past few days, as though some fell presence had turned its will against us. I did not like it.

“Where was she found?” Ford asked aloud, his gaze searching across the massive library. It was a glorious place, filled with ancient tomes and materials from days gone by.

“This way. She was found along the rear hall near the offices. We think she had made her way there from locking the doors to fulfill all her last matters for the day,” Shining Armor answered.

When we reached the area, we found the hallway had been sealed off, and an outline on the floor had been made to show where her body had lain. Ford came down beside it as though he hoped to find some unseen clue. “When she was found, was her face facing up or down towards the floor?”

“Upwards,” Shining replied.

“So… her right hand was here, and her left at her side. Like she simply fell to the floor limp,” Ford murmured. “And you said there was no sign of injury to her body whatsoever?”

“None. There was some faded scarring on her left leg, but it was a wound we guessed to be several years old. Maybe even a birthmark.”

Ford gave a groan, trying to gather his mind around the conundrum. “So, a woman dies randomly with no signs of ill health, and no indicator of aggression against her. It doesn’t make sense, people do not just up and die.” He turned to me. “Your Majesty, you know the ancient things of the world better than anyone in the world. “Is there something you can think of that might have done such a thing?”

“All magic leaves a mark. No matter how powerful, there is always a trace of it,” I said. “I am sorry.”

The four of us stood there in silence, either frustrated or left clueless as to our next move. It was all so strange, and no reasonable way to make sense of it all. Just what could have happened here?

“Where is her office?” Ford asked slowly.

“In the back, down the hall,” Shining Armor said. “What do you hope to find?”

“At this point, anything, sir,” Ford replied. “I wonder what she was doing before she died, maybe something worthwhile- aha!”

“What is it?” I asked.

Ford raced over to the desk, grabbing hold of the materials left out upon it. “She was in the midst of something! She certainly didn’t die of her own volition! Hmm… Sir, was this library closed at the time of her death?”

“I’m not sure. Why?”

“It seems she was performing an inventory of sorts. A catalogue of all the books in the library,” Ford mused. “She was making a detailed list of everything here… I wonder, maybe… has the library’s contents been fully checked?”

“You think this was a theft turned murder?”

“What if she was looking for something- one specific thing?” Ford said. “She was cataloguing the entire library- that’s thousands of books. But who’s going to know which ones are missing better than the librarian? Someone may have come back to kill her in the hopes of hiding it.”

“It is a good theory, Ford,” I said, “but you still have the problem that there is no physical indication of a murder.”

Ford was frustrated by my unwillingness to agree, but he remained resolute. “She was here in this room, then –I am only guessing aloud- she made her way down the hall towards the exit. Was she fleeing something? Was she being chased? Either way, she only made it so far. So if someone had attacked her, it started here in this room.”

Shining Armor, who had remained silent for a time, gave a quick intake of breath. “He may have something. If we searched the wrong room- check everything.”

The four of us turned to every corner and cranny of the office, looking for something askew. It was not a large room by any means, and if there was any sign of forced entry surely we would have found it by now.

As I passed by the window, I gave a start as though a nerve had been pinched. I must have given a small sound of pain, for Ford suddenly was by my side immediately after. “Are you alright?” he asked.

“I am fine,” I said. “I just felt- just a pain in my fingers, it was only for a moment. Most likely a splinter or something small.”

“Where?”

“I was tracing the wall, feeling for something below the window- ah!” My hand found the source once more and I flinched away instantly. Something along the wall, just below the window, had torn at my fingers yet drew no blood nor left a scratch.

Ford took my hand away from it and peered intently at where my hand had been, scrutinizing something with a violent intensity. “Captain Armor,” he said aloud, “I think I have something.”

“What have you found?”

“Look at this scarring on the wall,” Ford said, pointing to a small black mark just below the pane, a crisscross pattern of what appeared to be a black scorch mark. “Someone has burned this wall.”

“Gods above,” Shining said, “That’s the same scar pattern as was on the librarian’s leg.”

“Are you certain?” Ford asked.

“Absolutely.”

“Then someone was here. Someone did attack our librarian, and likely killed her,” Ford said grimly. “That burn mark is relatively fresh- only a few days. Whoever left this is the one responsible for this murder.”

I stared at the pattern, something about it ringing in my mind as though it were familiar. I could not put my finger quite on it, but it was as though I had forgotten something in regards to it. A memory long left behind. The more I stared, the more the feeling intensified, growing ever stronger- even as a faintness in my heart began to overwhelm me. I faltered, suddenly feeling sick.

“My Lady!” Ford took me to his side, holding me fiercely as though he feared I would faint. “Are you alright?”

“I am unwell,” I said, my voice far weaker than I had hoped it would be. “I will be fine.”

“Auntie, please- you should rest. Maybe the weather has made you ill. Come back to the palace and stay with us tonight,” Cadance said.

Against my will, I was led away, the sickness coming with a feeling of dread I could not shake. Something sinister was at play here, and it meant violence against us all.

January 8th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

Someone breached the Crystal Palace last night. An attempt on Flurry and Shield has been made.

Ford and I are agreed. The Man of Black is here.

During the night, I awoke in a cold sweat, my body burning despite the frigid air. I felt a nausea in me, a sickness as wrathful as anything I have ever felt. My vision was faded, my head pulsed as the heat raged within me. I staggered to the door in the hopes of finding the bathroom, either to cool myself down or be violently sick.

When I entered the hall, a blackness thicker than any shadow fell upon me, enveloping me and all my senses until everything I saw had been clouded by darkness. It burned at my skin, tore at my eyes as though it were smoke, the hallway itself obscured and marred. And there at the end of the hallway, standing dead center of the hallway near the window, was a vaguely familiar silhouette that faced towards me.

Why did my bones quake within me? Why did my heart skip a beat? Something about it was horribly familiar, a powerful horror on me as though spawned from the most nightmarish of hells. I warned myself it was a dream, a falsity conjured from within my brain. All of that faded away when it spoke in a voice that grated and shattered words within it as though it were rock.

“Princess… Harlot… betrayer…” it spoke, the words broiling the air until I feared the whole world would burst into flame, and a scorching, searing pain held its grip on my arms and I began to scream.

I suddenly found myself on the floor and gasping for air, a sudden light flaring in the hall as Ford appeared before me, a look of terror upon his face. “Tia! Are you alright, are you hurt? Answer me!” His panic was absolute, born from his loyalty and love that now agonized him.

I struggled to answer for a time, coughing and spluttering as though I had swallowed smoke, still feeling the remnant burns upon my arms. I examined them but found no mark, though the pulsing pain still remained.

“Tia, please, answer me,” Ford said, holding me close as his voice sounded on the verge of tears. “Say something. Are you hurt?”

“I do not know,” I finally managed to say. “Someone has been here. The Man of Black is here.”

“Can you stand? We need to search the palace, he may still be here,” Ford said, trying to get me to my feet- suddenly turning about and shielding me as heavy footsteps came rushing down the hallway. “Reveal yourself!” Ford roared, drawing his sword and standing ready to attack.

A Crystal Guard appeared before us, his hands raised in supplication. “I mean no harm, solar warrior,” he said. “I have been sent by the Crystal Princess- she requests the presence of Princess Celestia immediately.”

“We shall be there shortly. Send word to Her Highness,” Ford said, turning his back on the guard and returning to me. “Are you able to stand?”

My legs were shaky but I remained determined. “We shall make our way slowly,” I declared, leaning on Ford’s arm for support. I felt ashamed; few vile things in the world had worn me down in such a way. I had been brought low by something beyond the realms of usual evil.

When we reached the royal chambers, the crying of Flurry Heart and Gleaming Shield could be easily heard. We were let through immediately, Cadance comforting her children while Shining Armor stood as though he were ready to draw swords at that very moment.

“Auntie, someone was in the palace with us!” Cadance cried, more distraught than I had ever seen her in all my years. “It was in our room- it attacked my children!”

“It attacked my lady as well,” Ford said grimly. “I believe the librarian’s murderer knows that we are on his trail. This may be a very well-laid plan.”

“We are searching the palace now, but having your presence here may deter him,” Shining Armor said, though his expression at the sight of me suggested his doubts. “Did you see who it was?”

“Only his shadow- and what a shadow he had!” I said. “This is not a normal man. This is something far worse. I believe our Man of Black is here in the Crystal Empire.”

Ford and I told them the story, wishing ourselves to be awake until the sun rose. Even now as I write this, watching the sun fall on the western horizon, I fear what the darkness will bring. I fear the darkness that will come with the night.

January 9th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

I-

He-

It-

We-

I do not know how to write this. How could I possibly know what to say here? Is there any way I could hope to describe this well enough? It is not possible, not even in the darkest of nightmares. I may never truly know how it can be.

We have found the Man of Black.

A series of marks were found all across the palace in the morning; vile, heinous things that spoke of foul sorcery. It was such a thing that had not been seen in Equestria since its darkest days over a thousand years ago. Its familiarity again called to me, as though I should know it by memory. And along with it, a sharp, unbreaking dread.

Shining Armor’s guards had been hard at work ever since the intrusion the other night, following a trail that led out into the mountain wilds beyond the city’s borders. A patrol was sent to investigate- they never returned.

Deciding that sending in further reinforcement was foolish, Cadance and I declared that we would venture there ourselves. Two powerful spellcasters would have to be up to the challenge of whatever lurked in the mountains. Of course, Ford and Shining Armor balked at our journeying alone. Though I feared for his safety, I placated Ford and allowed him to come with us.

Our journey bode ill straight from its beginning. The wrath of winter came in full force, only increasing as we continued on. We could barely see, every movement on was a struggle. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. When we finally arrived to the location where contact had been lost, we found a pathway into the mountains lying as though it waited for us- its entire breadth covered in that foul mark, every single one of them fresh and still smoking as though it had just been scorched into the rock.

I felt that horrible sickness in my blood again, and I dreaded what I would find in this mountain path. Just who was the Man of Black? Why did his name sound so familiar to me? And just what was he capable of? I feared what we would discover- but onward we pressed.

The shadows of the day grew stronger as we moved forth, an unnatural thing as though the light was being drawn, torn away from us. Even I, the radiance of the sun within me, struggled to push it away. A foul, monstrous thing had set its will against us.

As we continued into the mountains, the path began to narrow and suddenly became black as the mouth of a single, solitary cave opened up before us, a vast thing that looked more akin to the gaping jaws of a monstrous leviathan. I looked upon it and my dread became a tangible, breathable thing. Whatever lurked within that cave was surely what we sought, and an evil far more sinister than we could have dared to imagine.

“Celestia, don’t go in there,” Ford said, his voice weary and pleading. I looked at him and saw that his body strained, pushing against the veil of darkness that had fallen upon us. “Whatever is in there will kill you. I beg you, don’t go any further.”

“Princess Celestia, we must go back,” Shining Armor said, trying his best to help Cadance stay upright. “That cave holds something evil. Let us return to the palace and muster a force to stop it. We cannot endure this alone.”

I knew his fear. I felt it myself. But I knew that if we left now, we would surely allow our foe to escape and elude us longer- perhaps he would find some other poor soul too destroy. As much as I wished otherwise, I knew we could not turn back now. The time had come.

“We will make our foe show himself,” I said simply, raising my hand and pointing it straight towards the cave mouth. A bright, glowing fireflash of light grew within my palm, growing ever brighter until it became a miniature sun that burned the area and tore back against the darkness. Before it could ignite in my hands I released it, firing the pulse into the cave, watching as it illuminated the entrance at a blinding speed- until it was smothered by shadow.

Tentacles of darkness ripped out from its hiding place and tore at the rocks. A horrific, screaming sound erupted through the skies and threatened to shatter the very skies. A massive, pulsating thing appeared from within the depths of the earth until it seemed as though the whole world could not contain its mass. The shadow took form and turned it seething, writhing face towards me, its eyes a wicked green and violet that spoke of an ancient, torturous wrath now revealed to the world once again. My heart was pierced as that baleful gaze settled upon me, and I felt it smile.

There was no mistaking that gaze. Sombra.

January 9th - January 12th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

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January 9th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

I seem to have fallen asleep during my writings. Or perhaps I fell unconscious? I know little difference between the two today.

My mind is slurred and heavy as though touched by liquor. The encounter with Sombra has left more than just my body bruised. I can feel my mind stirring, thoughts swirling back and forth in a dizzying haze. Where was I..?

Sombra. We found him in the mountains. Cadance and I were able to drive him from his hiding place in the caverns there, but we failed to hold him down for entrapment. Sombra is now out in the wildlands of Equestria, and I shudder to think of what he is planning next. Faell cannot have been his only acolyte. There must be more spread out across the kingdom.

That possibility raises a new problem that must be confronted: how dangerous will paranoia and suspicion be when they begin to run rampant? I can urge caution, for all people to be discreet and alert to danger- but it may spiral out of control. Sombra will be seen in every shadowy corner, one of his followers in every alleyway. He will be everywhere and nowhere all at once, and the people will panic because of it.

The topic of the Annual Address will have to be on Sombra’s return, if we do not find him soon. Until he is captured and defeated for good, there is no higher priority; none would care until the tensions are lessened, anyway. A wedding celebration will do-

Oh, heaven help me, what is wrong with me? I can hardly focus for longer than a few second! I have been trying to write this portion down for over an hour now, and I have only put down a few words! What about Sombra is diluting my mind so violently? Am I trying to understand how he survived? Why he cannot take physical form, perhaps how he has evaded detection for so long? It is maddening, I cannot understand. It is like I’m trying to- remember something…

Oh no.

No. It must be false. I refuse to believe anything else. How could I have even forgotten something of such importance? It was a mistake- no, those memories are not even real. I will not cling to any other possibility. But they sound real, feel real. I can remember the days and what they felt like as though they happened yesterday. What could trigger them so?

It is a trick. A false attack from Sombra himself when he struck out at me today. A heresy of the mind to deter me from stopping him. It must be, it will not be, I cannot accept it.

No. No, no, no, no, no, NO!

Why would they only appear now? Were they linked to his presence? How could he erase something from my own memories? Did I block them out myself, and laying eyes upon him again return them to my mind? Did I construct a prison in my brain, and his presence was the key? I don’t understand! I can’t simply just forget something that important!

Who do I speak to about this? Cadance? She would be horrified. Luna? She is busy patrolling the wildlands, she is needed there. Twilight? Poor Twilight’s brilliant mind will be needed here to help unravel the mystery of Sombra’s survival, I will not add more to her burden.

… Do I dare tell Ford? What would he possibly think of me? Sombra is the horror of a thousand stories, the nightmare that haunted children’s deepest fears of the shadows. His very name is synonymous with malice and cruelty. What would he say if I told him-

I will not. No one will know. I will not even write the words down. I will carry them deep within my soul for the rest of this age, until sun and moon fall from the skies and the fire of the universe flickers out. Ford will never know. He must never know, lest the truth break him completely.

That is his knock on the door. He must be concerned for me, I have been weary since Sombra’s encounter. He will be performing his duty as a soldier and a trusted love.

He never needs to know. It would only bring him pain.

January 10th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

No sign of Sombra. All of Equestria is on alert, and any available militia units not on duty safeguarding towns and cities are now combing the countryside under Luna’s command. The Solar Guard are fully armed in every city and is on a constant, three-man, 24-hour guard. There will be tiredness to deal with, but I will not have us be taken unawares. If Sombra tries to leave his hiding place, we will be there to take him down.

Twilight arrived this morning, and is currently still in the library. She believes that she will be there all night, and well into tomorrow. Ford is there with her by my request. He balked at the command, fearing for my safety without his presence there as a deterrent. Nevertheless I insisted, and both he and Twilight are working relentlessly to complete their inventory of the library.

As soon as Twilight arrived, she was escorted to the library where Cadance and I awaited her. When we were done discussing the major details, I began to question Twilight on what she could determine of the late librarian’s actions.

“Was she conducting an inventory check? Certainly, all her records here point to it,” she told me, taking a seat in the office and poring over the paperwork. “She had only just started, by the looks of it. Sombra… must have attacked her when she came back to get her worknotes.”

“But why, why a library?” Cadance asked aloud. “He had no such collection in his own private quarters, from what I was able to learn about him. What about this place was he after?”

“We can only guess. And only when we know what he stole,” Twilight replied. “This library is huge. I can work quickly, but it will take time to complete the process.”

“What process?” I asked.

“I’ll need to go through the entire library myself. Each book, one by one,” Twilight said, peering at the list of books before her. “She had it all organized by the Decimal System, so that should show where I need to begin… but as just one person, I’m sorry but it’ll take some time.”

“Sergeant Ford, stay here with Princess Twilight and act as her aide until the work is complete,” I said, watching as his features rose in alarm. “It will be long and difficult, but I trust you can help her see it done.”

“And then who will guard you, Your Majesty?” he challenged. “That is my primary duty, I do not wish to abandon it.”

“Please, stay here and see it done. The entire city is on alert, the Crystal Empire’s defenses are active,” I said, trying to soothe his nerves. “It is of greater importance that we know what Sombra is doing rather than my safety. I ask that you stay here instead.”

Ford could only argue so much, though his expression suggested he held no pleasure in the order. I would force him to stay here if I needed to, but I sincerely wish he would not push it to such things.

He sighed, accepting his fate. “So we should start immediately,” he said flatly. “How many books does this library hold?”

Twilight scanned the recordbooks. “A little over 10,000,” she reported. “Only a spare few have been added since the Crystal Empire returned to Equestria. Most books here will be ancient.”

The number was painful to hear. “Then we can’t waste any time,” Ford said. “Your Majesty?”

“I will be fine, Sergeant, I promise,” I told him. “Get to work and find out what he was after. Cadance and I will investigate into what we can, and see how he managed to survive. Hurry.”

Tomorrow morning, I will accompany Cadance to speak to people across the Empire and see what leads can be verified. Some have mentioned tales that are worth pursuing. Perhaps we will be able to see just how he hid himself for so long, and why death did not take him away for good.

January 11th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

That poor, poor, little girl. How could she have known what vileness she was tampering with?

Cadance and I have found how Sombra managed to hide. Clever, wicked man. As long as a small part of him survived, he could be brought back. And to twist and torment as he did…

A series of different stories across the Empire were where we began our investigation. With Ford and Twilight still deeply involved in the library, we found it best to involve ourselves elsewhere. As we talked to different people from across the city, traces of Sombra seem to have been at work for several months now. A shadow in the corner of a man’s house; a specter that haunted an old woman’s home; a young woman’s rash of violent nightmares that fled as suddenly as they had arrived. Bits and pieces of his presence, but never one that seemed to answer to his survival. That was until we met little Primrose, who may have been the one who gave him life again.

Primrose Vale, the daughter of our late librarian. Apparently, her childhood has been turbulent, as her parents had decided to stay together for the sake of their children. An unhappy marriage resulted from it, and the two quarreled before their children often. Little Primrose, sweet and sensitive, struggled to calm herself when her parents would fight.

“And why was I not told of this?” Cadance demanded, much of her story was told to us by Primrose’s uncle, a tired-looking man named Bramble. “I am not the Princess of Love for nothing. If I had known, I would have helped them be restored. At least for their children’s sake!”

Bramble became discomforted and struggled to meet Cadance’s gaze. “I am sorry, Your Majesty, but my brother never wanted the word to get out. He kept saying he’d try to make it better, that he didn’t want there to be talk.”

We got what we could out of the man, and then turned out attentions to Primrose. A calm, sickly girl who struggled to walk and had a small voice to match her frail frame. Nevertheless she seemed delighted to see us, and answered every question we had for her.

Primrose lived in the city outskirts before she moved to live with her uncle, not far from where Sombra was first defeated. During her parents many arguments, she would often find herself unable to bear the sound and would escape elsewhere, trying to find a place where she could hear them bicker. One time, nearly three years ago, she ventured further away from home than usual and found a strange, red stone in the street, rather battered but shining brilliantly and cold to the touch. Delighted with her find, Primrose took that stone home with her and had it sewn into her favorite stuffed toy, giving it a ‘heart.’

Oh, Primrose… it must have been a shard of Sombra’s hand that she found. So much of his body had fragmented, his dark magic had bound rock to hide where flesh had fallen away. Some small part of him, still imbibed with his strength, somehow survived Twilight and Cadance’s efforts. Spike, Shining Armor, all of Twilight’s friends… I will make sure they do not blame themselves for this. It was not failure on anyone’s part. No one would have thought of such a thing.

Primrose’s family troubles only worsened as time went on. With her elder brothers spending more time away from home than ever, she found she had no refuge or confidant to turn to. And so, like all little children do, she conjured one up: her stuffed toy. She spoke to it, speaking of all her sorrows and pains, confiding to it her anger and unhappiness. She had done it before. But with the stone now shining in the toy’s fibers, something new occurred: the stone spoke back.

Little Primrose’s toy became her only friend. The one who understood her, held her trust, loved her like no one else could. The more she spoke to it, the stronger the stone became. She fed her bitterness, her anger, all her negative emotions into that toy- all the things that Sombra feeds upon were being poured in by an innocent, unfiltered source. Sombra grew fat from strength and began to restore his shadows again. But most important of all, she fed it the stories of her family. Of her mother’s work as a librarian in the oldest living library in Equestria…

Five months ago, a particularly violent argument erupted between her parents, and Primrose had run to her room to hide. She began to cry and weep into her toy, saying all manner of things to it, wishing that her parents would never fight again. As she said her wishes, her toy began to twist and become misshapen until it was nothing more than stuffing and rags, fully surrounded by the darkest of shadows that held a pair of sickly green eyes.

Sombra tried to kill Primrose, sucking away her energy and sapping her of life. If her mother and father had not heard her screams, Sombra would be standing in the form of a little girl, and the spirit that calls herself Primrose would be gone into the ether. Instead, the ritual was left incomplete, and Sombra’s shadow, still vicious and powerful, was all that could reenter our world. He escaped into the city and fed on its populace slowly but surely, until the time was right to strike. He fed into Faell two years ago, and has been feeding on the hatred, bitterness, fear, and pain of a kingdom ever since.

Primrose has not been the same since that day. Once a vibrant, rambunctious girl is now a frail little thing. Her body is weakened in a way no magic nor medicine can repair. Her life will certainly be short. It disgusts and wounds me to my soul, that such a sweet young girl who only wanted a happy family, now has to bear such awful memories.

Cadance assured me that Primrose will live a comfortable life for the rest of her days, but I do not feel any better for it. Nothing will bring back the joy she has lost.

January 12th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

Ford and Twilight have found something. It was late in the night when Cadance and I were requested, but it is a lead- no matter how small.

One book is missing from the Crystal Library: Myths and Legends of Ancient Days. According to the information the library contained on the book, it hold stories, tales, and knowledge on the oldest subjects of the world. Arcane magic, lost civilizations, powerful beasts that roam the depths of the earth where no man has ever ventured…

Unfortunately for us, Twilight has never read it. Nor has she even heard of it. The book may be extremely rare- not just here in Equestria, but across the world. If Sombra stole the only copy-

A call will be sent out across the kingdom come morning. If anyone has the book, or possesses knowledge of its contents, they are to come forward immediately. Perhaps we will find out just what Sombra is truly after.

January 15th - January 20th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

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January 15th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

Still no sign of Sombra. The watchtowers of Canterlot and every major city are on full alert. Luna’s soldiers patrol the countryside, searching every cave, nook, and cranny that can be found. Every man, woman, and child that can walk and see is under orders to report any potential sighting of Sombra. A country that holds millions in its arms has every waking eye on the lookout.

Nothing. How can he hide himself so well to avoid all detection? Where even is he, if he remains in Equestria at all? Cadance and I are powerful, yes, but we did not deal enough damage against him to force Sombra to retreat. He fled to avoid further detection, meaning that he still has further plans in the kingdom to wreak more havoc. He is biding his time until he can bring forth worse.

Luna has been relentless in her searching, with little to no rest for days now. How she manages to keep herself awake and alert is a testament to her dedication to her people. As long as her soldiers continue to patrol the wilds, then so will she.

Cadance is keeping watch in the Crystal Empire, I requesting that she withdraws from offensive operations until Sombra is found. With two young children that still need their mother for support should not be left abandoned. Shining Armor has done well, but additional strength in the form of his wife is welcome assistance.

Twilight’s searching across Equestria has gone poorly, as much as I wish to say otherwise. Not only does she search for Sombra in the hopes of drawing him out, but her search for the stolen book has been unfruitful. We both fear that the only copy left in existence is now in Sombra’s clutches; if so, then we have no true idea as to what he plans to do next and we are left dangerously blind.

Here in Canterlot, the Solar Guard are uneasy. Hearth Fire is back to full strength but it seems as though Sombra’s return was his worst nightmare. There is a constant guard at every critical location, and he himself is exhausted and has been leaning on Ford for any additional support. My men are exhausted, and my heart turns for them. I wish to find a way to end this.

To do so will be no easy task. Sombra is clever, and has shown an unusual amount of patience in his plans of conquest. The battle of Griffonstone was over two years ago, and no one knew Sombra even existed until a few short days ago. He has kept himself hidden all these days, quietly biding his time. But for what? He steals a book from a library and kills the librarian, he attacks the Crystal Palace in the hopes of assassinating the royal heirs, and flees when Cadance and I corner him. I cannot discern a motive or a plan. It is as though Discord’s spirit now dwells in him, and Sombra’s propensity to violence has been merged with chaos.

I must think… he first caused the destruction of the Appeloosa Dam. After that, he orchestrated bombings in Manehatten and the Griffon Empire in the hopes of igniting a war between two kingdoms. When Faell’s attempt to kill me failed, he kept himself out of sight until only recently. Sombra’s efforts have been alternating between murder and targeted attacks on infrastructure. So if he tried to kill Flurry and Shield last, his pattern suggests he will attempt some form of destruction. But where? I am familiar with much of the key locations across the kingdom, but he will not choose at random. The Appeloosa Dam’s destruction caused massive losses of property and farmlands that the region has still not fully recovered from. Where will he go to cause that sort of repercussions from his actions?

I will consult with Hearth Fire in the morning, with a freshly updated map on the table before us. We will try our best to predict Sombra’s next move and see if we can corner him- and bring about an end to this once and for all.

January 16th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

The Vanhoover Dam. The mountains are a critical source of fresh water for the city below, as snow and the river intermix and feed down into the valley and into the sea- and all of it is prevented from flooding the region by the dam.

Hearth Fire and I are certain of it. If the damn were to fall in any form of cataclysmic damage, the results would be… catastrophic, to say the least. The Equestria Line runs through the region, connecting Vanhoover to Las Pegasus and the Empire in the north. If the rail line was destroyed, connection between the three cities would crumble. The waters from the resulting floods would decimate the city, and the harbor for trading westward would be destroyed from the debris and chaos that would come pouring in from the mountains. Thousands upon thousands of lives would be lost.

Luna met with us only a few short hours ago and we relayed our suspicions to her. As discreetly as we can, our patrols in the area will increase. Luna’s spy network will be deep within the city and doing what it can to keep tabs on the local underworld. If Sombra is nearby, whether trapped in the city or watching it from the wilds, we will know- and soon.

January 18th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

We may have him. A logging crew working in the mountains east of Vanhoover have reported strange activity in the area. The workers have begun to experience overly vivid nightmares and have found dead wildlife mutilated and drained. Both are signature marks of Sombra’s abilities. The area will be quietly evacuated to assure any potential dangers do not threaten the lives of the people.

Luna is already preparing to recon the area herself, with Twilight joining her only a few hours ago. If it is Sombra, then Cadance will have to be summoned and the four of us will unite our strength to bring him down. Sombra wishes to hold a claim to immortality through fool’s luck and blind hopes. I will not let him. Every inch of his existence will be wiped clean from the face of my kingdom, and not even ashes will remain.

January 19th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

Most of Vanhoover is currently underwater. Twilight and Luna acted swiftly, but I believe Sombra’s plans were already in the motion well before we were alerted to his presence. Twilight, in her usual verve, blames it all on herself. I do not accept such a proposition; my ever-stalwart, faithful student and friend, is not the soul who would allow herself to make such a monstrous mistake, particularly if lives were on the line.

The dam, as we suspected, was his target. It seems that Sombra found a way to erode its structural integrity and caused it to be overwhelmed. Late last night, just as Twilight and Luna moved in to engage him, the dam began to burst as seams split in the rock and eventually shattered as though glass. As Twilight and Luna struggled to save themselves, Sombra escaped in the midst of the chaos.

For the most part, loss of life has been minimal, with only a few deaths related to the surge of flooding. The evacuation moved swiftly and was efficient, save for a few of the foolish who refused to leave and thought themselves safe. Now, they likely will be found in the western ocean to where the floodwaters ran. However, as a whole, I have nothing but praise for the officials and rescue teams that played their part. The disaster could have been even more catastrophic than it already is. Most of the city is flooded and violently damaged. The Vanhoover harbor has been decimated with an estimated 300 million in damages, and the Equestrian Line than ran through the region has been swept away. Older trade routes to the Crystal Empire and Las Pegasus have been resurrected to ensure there is no break in supplies moving to either city.

Luna is hot on Sombra’s trail and continues to search. I am unwilling to leave it to her alone, and tomorrow I will join her on the hunt. However, this time there will be no engagement until all four of us are together to hold him off. It is strange… Sombra is powerful, but this is different. It is as though he has fed on something vile in the deep. As a man grows fat on food and drink, so he has grown fearsome on death.

But surely he cannot stand against the four Princesses united. I refuse to believe he maintains such strength in his bones.

January 20th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

We are in a very dangerous position. Though Sombra’s initial path east has been cut off by mine and Luna’s efforts, he still has far too much room to maneuver. Come the morrow, he will be dead at our feet.

I joined Luna at the break of dawn to aid in her hunt, immediately finding a trail as soon as I arrived. Luna, proud and eager to continue on, was obviously exhausted. She has slept little since Sombra returned and her wellbeing suffers. I ordered her to get some rest the moment we made camp.

The further on we made our path, the more concerned I became in our hunting. He had moved steadily southward ever since Vanhoover, but now he began to alter his course east as we made our way into unsettled territory. Soon we found ourselves nearing the border of Whitetail Woods; the outlying forest near Ponyville and growing ever closer to Canterlot. My thoughts went to Fluttershy, gentleness incarnate and a frequent traveler of those woods. If she were there now on a visit to the animals that dwelled in Whitetail- I could not bear the thought.

Whether it be by blind luck or a mistake on his part, Luna and I managed to overtake him before he could enter the forest, and did our best to drive him away and hold the line. Though we succeeded at preventing his entry, Sombra still remained nearby- though unwilling to strike out himself. I wondered if we had managed to drain some of his strength and whether we should not simply attack and put an end to this. I was tired at the moment, yes, but still had far more power left in me. But just as I opened my mouth to speak to my sister, she fell to one knee with her every breath coming in a ragged gasp. She had exhausted herself after all this time, and I knew my plans would have to wait.

I sent word to Canterlot, Ponyville and the Empire. Twilight, being the closest by, did not take long to arrive to the scene. The Solar Guard, who had been panicking at my absence in the palace, was more than glad to come to my side. Cadance arrived little more than an hour ago, and is resting in a nearby tent with Twilight.

I wish I could bring myself to find sleep, but I struggle. Perhaps it is what we face before us now: an evil I thought dead, a vileness that has been wiped away again and again but continues to resurface. Is it the wickedness that stands against us? Is it simply fear before battle? Or do I fear for what may be lost now? Twilight is young and full of life. She will someday take my place as a ruler of this kingdom, I do not wish to see her die tomorrow. Cadance has her children, what will they do without their beloved mother- or how will Shining Armor cope with the loss of his wife? Luna is my sister; to lose her would be to lose part of myself.

And Ford… I should have known he would throw himself into this fight. Alongside Hearth Fire he stands now, keeping watch over the area and observing Sombra’s movements. The dark beast remains hidden in a large pit on the border of Equestrian territory, out of sight. Ford shows no fear of Sombra, though he very well should. My beloved wishes for a fight he has no hopes of winning.

I summoned him to my tent earlier, knowing I would have to head him off. As soon as he entered, I gave him a simple command: “Sit.”

He knelt down before me, his eyes full of fire that spoke of vengeance. He was born in Vanhoover, of course he bore hatred for its destruction. But that hatred would breed foolhardiness, and that would lead to death.

“Ford, do you trust me?” I asked him.

“Always,” he replied.

“Then you know what will happen tomorrow.”

“Of course I do.”

“Then you must know I will not allow you to aid me in the fight.”

His eyes nearly popped out of his head so great was his anger. “Oh come- Princess, I’m part of your Royal Guard. Even Hearth Fire expects us to be right alongside you. Why do you ask this of me?”

“Because this is not a fight you can win, Ford.” I did my best to keep a rational tone of voice to combat his immediate fire, knowing he would need to be fully convinced. “Sombra is not like anything you have seen. I am not sure of how he managed to survive with so little of him remaining. Not me, not Luna, not Twilight or Cadance. Something foul is at work here and it keeps him alive- for what task I do not know. But two of us combined could not bring him down, so we will try with all four united in the hopes that it is enough.”

“What do you expect us to do, then? Be spectators at what could be your funeral?” he challenged.

“To keep the region safe. Sombra will try to move the battlefield over and over again. It is his nature to cause destruction wherever he goes. I and the others must be concentrated on him totally; if Sombra threatens any of my people, I need the Solar Guard to keep them safe. And… if one of the Princesses were to fall or be injured, then you must be there to get them to safety.”

“Do you do this out of a true plan?” Ford asked. “Or do you wish to simply keep me away from harm?”

“Both. I promise you that’s true,” I said. “Ford, I am afraid because I don’t know what will happen. Sombra is alive when he should not be, and I fear what powers he has gained in the dark. But I will not allow him to roam unabated. Even if it costs me my life, I will not let him harm my people further. Nor you.”

“Celestia, I am begging you. On my knees, I beg you,” Ford said. “I am the man who is to be your husband. Of all people you command, I want to be there beside you in this fight. Do not send me away to watch the woman I love fight on her own. If you are hurt, then so I will be. If you die, then part of me dies forever. Do not do this.”

I so desperately wanted to say yes. To have him there with me would be a comfort- but common sense won out in the end. One mere man against Sombra was dangerous. One man surrounded by the most powerful beings ever to walk the earth, all of them engaged in a battle to the death, was suicidal.

“I cannot do otherwise,” I told him. “I am counting on you tomorrow. Keep my people safe.”

Ford saw that his battle had been lost and he relented, a worn look of sorrow falling upon him. He walked as though he saw the specter of death before him, and his gaze could not meet my own. He paused at the threshold. “I love you,” he said softly. “In case I never get to say it again.”

“And you have my love. Forever until the sun fades from the sky and all the stars go out,” I told him.

The morning swiftly approaches, and so does our battle. The dawn shall be a red one.

January 27th - January 31st, the Year MCCCXLVIII

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January 27th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

My body aches still. My recovery has been a gradual one, and much of my power has yet to return. It will be a slow process. But I am alive, and that is reason enough to be grateful.

The battle is won- not an absolute victory, but the kingdom is safe, and its people are free of Sombra’s menace. The damage he has brought has been horrendous, not just the aftermath of our battle, but the years he has spent toiling against us. The deaths of my people in Appeloosa, Manehatten, the insurrections in the Griffon Kingdom, the murder of the librarian in the Crystal Empire, the destruction in Vanhoover… his wrath has been unrelenting against us. I am grateful he has been defeated.

I only wish that he had been destroyed. Try as we might, the combined power of the four Princesses was not enough to take him down, but only to weaken him and drive him from our borders. Through our combined strength, our war of attrition against Sombra was won, and he fled west out of our borders and beyond my sight. I can no longer sense his spirit roaming the wilds, no illness plagues my heart. He has truly left.

We have survived, though the four of us are exhausted and in some cases injured. Twilight will never fully recover from her injuries- the limp she now bears will remain with her all her days. The blow against her was savage, and intended for me; Twilight instead leapt forward to protect me from the blast and the price of her bravery was very nearly death. I feared she had been lost to me.

Luna, the ever-wily warfighter of ancient days, escaped the fray with little injury, save for a few scars and burns. Already she has returned to patrol the wildlands, unwilling to rest for any great length of time. She is dedicated to the sanctity and protection of her homeland, almost to a fault. If the whole world possessed half her courage and will, the bravery of men would never be questioned.

Cadance fared well, for the most part. Her eyesight will return in time, but it will be diminished for quite a while. I have already begun to give her lessons on how to operate without sight, and she works with some of Luna’s soldiers to practice even further. The determined, loving mother refuses to be nothing but a shining example to her young children and I love her dearly for it. I wish I had a million just as brave and steadfast as she.

My side still twinges. My arm will be in its sling for a few more weeks before it can be brought to full function. Dark magic, such as the arcane violence Sombra wields, cannot be overcome through traditional medicine- and heals slowly. All of us who were struck by his wrath will have marks that never heal, and scars to bear forever. Even Ford, despite my best efforts to keep him away, now carries a new scar that runs along his body like a bolt of faded lightning. As soon as Twilight had been hurt he leapt forward, throwing himself into the fray to keep her safe, knowing full well he could have been killed. When I asked him what had possessed him so to do such a thing, Ford was unable to recall the moment, and questioned me for details of what he had done. I wonder if fear blocks the memory from his mind, or it is some vile curse from Sombra that now harms his thoughts. I hope for the former, for no sorcery of the darkness has the right to dwell within such a wonderful man.

The palace remains in a strange state, an odd amalgamation of sorrow and elation. Truly, the entire kingdom is gladdened that Sombra has been defeated- but at such cost. It may take years for Vanhoover to fully recover. Thousands of lives have been forever altered in a way I cannot repair. And, though no soul dares to speak it, we all know that Sombra still lives and threatens us all. It may be years before he has strength to threaten us again, but his shadow will cloud every sunny day until he is cast from the living world and into the abyss forever.

For now, I am grateful that we can rest. But someday, Sombra will return and I must be ready to face him again. Thankfully, we have time and vigilance on our side- and the wonderful mind of dear Twilight. The stolen book has been recovered, and Twilight studies it thoroughly in between bouts of resting. She protests, but I have asked her friends to ensure she cares for herself. I will not have the young woman who was like a child to me fall into exhaustion. We have time now- and she needs to rest. We all do.

January 30th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

And so that is his plan. I thought we had time, a delay in which we could prepare for the inevitable war. Instead we have nothing.

Twilight has completed her studies and requested I meet her privately to discuss what she had found. Well, in truth she wished to come to me, but I insisted she continue with her recovery and that I would come to her. I asked Ford to accompany me, and the two of us quietly visited Ponyville where Twilight awaited us. Few knew we had even arrived, and Twilight was glad to have us- though my heart turned as I saw her half-stumble along with a cane as her aid. She is still so young, yet she struggled to walk on her own.

“Spike prepared some things for us to eat while we talk,” Twilight said as we settled down in her study. “He and Starlight are off somewhere enjoying themselves for the time being. I think they’ve found this place to be rather stuffy since I returned.”

I looked about her study and saw the mountains of books and scrolls, the air tinged with the musty smell of old parchment and ink. I glanced at the makeshift bed in the corner and wondered if Twilight had been refusing to care for herself these past few days in an effort to continue her work.

“I think I recognize you,” she said as her eyes settled on Ford. “Aren’t you the one who helped me in the Crystal Empire? Princess Celestia said you helped save me when Sombra attacked me.”

Ford, ever self-effacing, seemed uncomfortable with such praise. “I did what I should, Your Highness,” he said. “I’m glad I could be there to help.”

“Twilight,” I said quietly, trying to get my student’s attention.

“I hope you weren’t too badly injured. I’m still sort of struggling to get used to mine, myself-”

“Twilight,” I said, my voice becoming more forceful. “I wanted you to get some rest and heal. Truly heal. Have you been working throughout the night?”

“Princess, it’s not a big deal-”

“It is to me, Twilight,” I said and my voice struggled. She was bright and lovely, a beacon of hope for a better future that Equestria so desperately needed. Yet here she was, hardly able to stand on her own without help and worn down by a vile darkness. She did not know how deeply the sight affected me. “I am glad you’ve found something, but after today, rest. Real rest- do not make me have you under watch to ensure it happens.”

Twilight’s seemingly cheerful demeanor suddenly vanished, leaving the beautiful girl drained and sorrowed. “I wish I could, Princess,” she said in a timid voice. “If I’m being honest, I made my discovery two days ago- but I didn’t know what to do next. I- Spike said he found me in a strange sort of sleep atop a pile of books and he was afraid I’d passed out. I… I don’t really sleep well anymore.”

Sombra’s power. A mark so deep that it may never be undone. More scars, more wounds from that horrid beast that could not be taken away. And to think I had once- I am forgetting myself.

Twilight brought the forth the stolen tome and set it on the table before us, letting the stink and rot of ancient pages rise before us. The book was most assuredly old, perhaps older than even I was.

“It’s ancient,” Twilight said. “So much of what’s written in here, I’ve never even heard of before. Creation and beginnings, dark demigods that feed on light and life- it’s a horrible, horrible book. Fascinating, but- just awful. I hate the sight of it.”

“Burn it once it’s done,” I said to her. “Be rid of it and let its presence haunt you no more.”

“Some of it is important, Princess,” she said, staring at the book with distaste. “I’ll have to transcribe some of it to make sure the knowledge isn’t lost- but too much within it is dangerous.”

“How dangerous?” Ford asked.

“In Sombra’s hands… he could cause unimaginable suffering,” she said, gently pushing the book forward with only the tips of her fingers. “I think- this is- definitely is what he wants.”

The sight of the tome repulsed me, and I dared not touch it, instead leaning over it and beginning to read the words aloud:

Of all the mighty jewels that were crafted in the early world, none have given rise to greater legends and more monstrous demons of the deep than the Philosopher’s Stone. Beautiful and resplendent jewels crafted by Ferrarius during the Dawn of the World as a gift for his beloved Aestima, and were given among the Firstborn so that they might drink from the pools of the infinite, and dwell among the world forever. However, Tavan, the One Who Marrs, despised the joy of his kinfolk and sought to bring despair upon them. So he struck out and destroyed many of the Philosopher’s Stones and broke them like glass, scattering others across the world and hiding them in the deep to never be found. Only a few came to survive Tavan’s wrath, and these were hidden away until Tavan’s assault on the world was halted. Once the danger had passed and the world had begun its healing, the Philospher’s Stones were declared to be worthy only to a select few who would be able to stand and shine amidst the present darkness that now plagued the earth. These Philosopher’s Stones were gifted to the Alicorns, who alone stood worthy to hold the mantle of eternal life. Those that had been scattered by Tavan, according to rumor, were sought out by the Alicorns and destroyed, knowing that the wickedness of the world could not be allowed to hold such a power. Though they are thought to be destroyed, rumors persist across the world that some have still survived, and are yet to be found in the deep places of the world.

The powers of a Philospher’s Stone, just like the stone itself, are the subject to endless rumor. Though the Alicorns only wielded a portion of its power, the gift of eternal life was held in their blood and passed down through generations among the pureborn Alicorns. However, further rumors of the powers of the Stones persist- chief amongst them are its ability to create limitless amounts of wealth, and create vast armies of warriors at the users behest. Such a weapon in the hands of the Alicorns has proven to be prosperous, though would likely be disastrous in the hands of the wicked.

“That’s it, then,” Twilight said. “That’s what he wants. Sombra is looking for a Philosopher’s Stone so he can live forever- and build an unstoppable army. With unlimited wealth he’d be able to buy allies all over the world, and- Equestria would never be able to stop him.”

The words had been painful. I reached out for Ford’s hand by instinct, struggling to hold myself together as I felt so much of my world crashing around me.

That was why I was immortal. The power of the Philosopher’s Stone had been passed down from bloodlines immemorial that had begun long before I was born. Pureblood Alicorns held that power to endless life- Twilight and Cadance, though immeasurably powerful in magic, did not hold it. The Alicorns had once held the duty of protecting the world from such great power- but now only two, true-blooded Alicorns remained in the world. My sister- and me. We were alone against Sombra and a horrifying future. An Umbra with the power of immortality- what would we be able to do if he succeeds?

What are we going to do?

January 31st, the Year MCCCXLVIII

I have made up my mind. There can be no other way.

I will have to begin preparations immediately. But first, I wish to tell Luna the truth. All of it- of Sombra, myself, what he is truly after- and what I will ask her to do. I am afraid of what I must do, but I fear what Sombra may unleash far more. My mind is made up. I am resolute.

May I may the right decision tonight.

February 1st, the Year MCCCXLVIII

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February 1st, the Year MCCCXLVIII

Almost three years ago I began my entries in this diary as a means of pouring my thoughts onto paper- a catharsis of soul and mind to ease my worries of an illicit relationship that I did not believe in. I feel, in a strange way, older than I was before. Time has begun to make marks upon me through the ones I cherish, through this book that is now littered with my untidy scrawl.

This diary was once a solace for my own spirit. A means by which to understand my own thoughts and doubts that plagued me. Instead, it has been a record of these tumultuous years. I fell in love. I watched my people suffer and die. I bore witness to insurrections and rebellions, murders and traitors. I have seen destruction, victory, defeat, and despair that I did not know could come so swiftly. This journal has been mine for so long: now, it shall belong to my people, so they may understand what I have chosen to do.

Luna and I greeted each other early in the morning, before the sun had even risen. I requested that she relieve herself from her patrols and come to see me privately. After a time, she appeared and looking more haggard than ever.

“You overwork yourself,” I told her. “Neither you nor Twilight know the meaning of rest.”

“I cannot. Not anymore,” my sister replied. “Sombra’s ways darken my dreams. I fear I may not know rest until he departs from this world forever.”

“Sister, he may never depart,” I told her. “Twilight was able to decipher Sombra’s stolen book. I believe you need to know this.”

I spoke for a lengthy period, telling her everything we knew. For the most part, Luna said little beyond asking the occasional question. My sister was typically unflappable, and this proved to be no exception. I wondered if anything could truly faze her.

Finally, after I was done, Luna seemed to wait my words again. “And?” she pressed. “You must have a plan to deal with this. We cannot let Sombra simply find a Stone and bring about the end of days.”

“I will not let him do any such thing,” I assured her. “And I have a plan. But you are not part of it.”

For the first time, my sister was left stunned. “You lie!” she hissed. “I am your sister, we are the only two Alicorns left in the world! Is it not our duty to stop him together?”

“Sister, I wish it were,” I said, “but this burden is upon my shoulders solely. I will go after him, follow him into the world and not rest until he is dead at my feet and the world can breathe knowing the last Umbra has been burned from this life. But you, dear sister… you must remain here. If I fail, if my life is lost and Sombra finds his desired prize, then you will be the safeguard against his tide. You will have to find a way to protect these people and bring them to safety again. That is no longer my task.”

“Sister, you can’t- I only just got you back!” Luna pleaded. “We have spent so little time together since my return- am I to be robbed of you forever? You do not even know how long it will take you to find him- years, decades- centuries, perhaps!”

“I know. But I must. This kingdom, this beautiful country we call home, will need your protection. Its new leader will need your wisdom and solidarity.”

“And who will that be?” she asked. “Is there any who can succeed you?”

“Only one. And Twilight will do wonderfully- do not act surprised, dear sister. We knew what we were doing when we allowed her to ascend. She is a bridge between all peoples- what Cadance has been, but better. She is the sum of all hopes and dreams that you or I have ever known.”

“She is mortal. She will not rule forever.”

“She will live on until the end of time, dear sister. Her name will become a dynasty- one that I ask you to uphold.”

“Must you do this to me?” Luna begged. “Can no one journey with you?”

“Dear Luna, I will not be alone. Who, of all people, do you think I will ask to journey with me?”

“You mean Ford,” she guessed. All her usual malice against him seemed forgotten in the moment, she desperate for someone to accompany me on my journey. “You wish for him to find it.”

“I hope for him to,” I said. “The Alicorns were once protectors of eternal life, dear sister. Maybe we must be again- and perhaps we have found one who is worthy of it.”

Luna’s tears were like daggers in my heart as she sat beside me. “And there is nothing I can do to sway you?”

“None could dissuade me now,” I said. “I ask that you, seven days from now, announce my decision to the kingdom. Let them know Twilight will be my successor. Give them reason to hope for the future, and forget me forever.”

“I will announce it,” she hiccupped, “but there are none in the world who could ever forget you.”

I told her of myself, of Sombra, and everything else I could remember, and then I embraced my sister. How long had it been since we had acted like family? Been sisters amongst each other, shown affection and love for one another? We had endured millennia together, fought countless wars and battles, been separated by darkness and violence, and even after a long-awaited reunion, we had found no time for one another to truly be ourselves. I loved my sister dearly, and she deserved more than I had ever given her. Luna, if someday you read this, I hope you know I will always love you, and I am glad that you were my sister.

Morning came and I cancelled Day Court, instead making preparations. I discreetly had food prepared in the kitchens and brought to my study, where I pored over maps and old legends of long-forgotten countries with Luna by my side. Some I knew of- others had been left to time’s flow and remained a mystery to me. I would begin with what we knew, and journey onwards. Finding Sombra was our immediate priority- the Philospher’s Stones, if any remained, would be next.

Once everything had been made ready, I summoned Hearth Fire to my study. He soon appeared with an air that suggested he knew my words would bode ill for him. Like Luna, I explained what Sombra intended to bring about, and how he would be stopped. Hearth Fire was a stalwart fighter, but I watched him age into a tired soldier before my very eyes.

“Your Majesty,” he asked, “is there truly no other way.”

“None that I could hope in. None that deserve our faith. I will not let your future, or any of my people’s futures, be left to chance. I will follow Sombra into the dark, and kill him there so that we may live free again.”

“And you intend to bring Sergeant Ford with you?” he asked, leaving me stunned. A small, sad smile graced his aged features. “Yes, Your Majesty, I knew of it. I have for many years now. I had my suspicions and watched you both. Both you and he are terrible at keeping secrets- and none know but I.”

Hearth Fire, Hearth Fire, my old devoted friend. What am I going to do without you? I gave him instructions for aiding Twilight in her role as Queen. I asked him to guide her along, be her right arm just as he had once been for me. None would be greater than he, my loyal Commander. I knew that Twilight, with the guidance of Luna and Hearth Fire’s wisdom, would be just fine without me.

As we spoke, Hearth Fire called for Ford to join us. My beloved appeared before too long and I embraced him, my sudden kiss giving him quite a shock.

“Tia- Princess- uh, Your-” he stumbled over every word, unable to find his rhythm. For me to showcase such affection to him before other people left him almost catatonic.

“You have nothing to hide any longer, my friend,” Hearth Fire said in a voice that seemed to laugh. “Your dear bride has greater plans in store.” Ford turned pale and slowly wheeled about to face his Commander. “Yes, I know- of course I know. Do you think I do not know what my soldiers do with their time? Do not worry about what people will think; all who know you can rest assured that your skills belong to you alone.”

We talked amongst one another, I revealing my plans to Ford. He was still rather frazzled by my actions, but he understood quickly and had small trouble understanding my intent.

“Then we should leave tonight,” he declared. “We leave quietly so that none know. If any are aware of it, they might try to stop us. Your sister -pardon my boldness, Your Highness- might even try.”

“She wouldn’t dare,” I said, though I felt my sister shuffle somewhere behind me.

“Out of love for you, she very well might,” he persisted, his expression serious. “Celestia, you and I are sacrificing everything. Our lives, our friends, family, futures- all of it is now lost to us. We may never return.”

“Then… then we have little time to waste,” I decided, rising to my feet and taking him in my arms. “Once we are done here, return to your quarters and prepare your things. Do not worry for food- I have assured plenty will be ready for us. Prepare your weapons, clothes, anything you may need. If you have any goodbyes, say them. None can stop you now.”

Ford’s face was solemn, perhaps intimidated by the daunting task that now lay before us, but my beloved remained ever resolute. My unwavering, dedicated, wonderful Ford was giving up the life and joys he had ever desired, and would follow me into the darkness. But there alongside me, he would be something more.

“Hearth Fire, if you would, please,” I said, and so it began.

The night has fallen around us. I now only await Ford’s arrival from his quarters so that we may begin our journey. I am afraid, terrified even; the dangers before us shall be unlike anything I have known in my many long years. Darkness and shadows, burning heat and unrelenting cold, storms and cataclysms and a prize that may not even be real. And Sombra: darkness of the deepest black, Umbra, abominable creation of twisted gods. Someday we shall find him- and we shall end him forever.

This shall be my last entry in this journal, as I write upon its final pages. If I never return, know that I did not fall quietly or without fight. I have done all I can to safeguard the hope of a better future. I could hardly ask for more, or greater a soul beside me. So, here I end.

To all here present, know this: On this day, the First of February in the Year MCCCXLVIII, the undersigned Sergeant Saber Ford of the Royal Guard is married to Princess Celestia, Keeper of the Sun, Ruler of Equestria, and Guardian of Life upon this Earth.

Love Letters of the Princess of the Sun

by Echo 27

April 14th, the Year MCCCXLV

April 23rd, the Year MCCCXLV

May 1st - May 8th, the Year MCCCXLV

June 7th - June 15th, the Year MCCCXLV

July 3rd - July 20th, the Year MCCCXLV

July 24th - July 25th, the Year MCCCXLV

August 6th - August 31st, the Year MCCCXLV

September 14th - September 20th, the Year MCCCXLV

October 4th - October 29th, the Year MCCCXLV

November 3rd - November 28th, the Year MCCCXLV

December 4th, the Year MCCCXLV - January 1st, the Year MCCCXLVI

January 11th - January 28th, the Year MCCCXLVI

January 31st - March 3rd, MCCCXLVI

March 7th - March 14th, the Year MCCCXLVI

March 18th, the Year MCCCXLVI

March 19th - March 23rd, the Year MCCCXLVI

April 5th - April 7th, the Year MCCCXLVI

January 1st - May 3rd, the Year MCCCXLVII

October 24th - October 27th, the Year MCCCXLVII

Decembr 8th, the Year MCCCXLVII - January 2nd, the Year MCCCXLVIII

January 2nd - January 9th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

January 9th - January 12th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

January 15th - January 20th, the Year MCCCXLVIII

January 27th - January 31st, the Year MCCCXLVIII

February 1st, the Year MCCCXLVIII