Random Events

by HybridSoldier

First published

Yep, that's some randomness right there, if you know what I mean..

Just another day in the life of a purple pony. Yep, nothing to see here.
Totally.
(Rated M for craziness.)

Random Events

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Twilight was walking around. Spike was behind her, thinking of Rarity, as usual.

"SHUT UP, SPIKE", Twilight said. Then, she drove a forklift into Spike.

"Twilight, no!"

Rarity ran towards Twilight and tried to shove a diamond into Twilight's butt. But then, Twilight reversed the diamond on Rarity's back, slicing her, somehow...

Then, all of a sudden, Celestia came to Twilight and levitated her into her chariot, and then she kicked a guard off of the chariot, causing him to explode.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was livin' the thug life, 'cuz she goood. Then, she and her team were all shot by a GIF of My Little Dashie. However, another pony came and shot the GIF.

Pinkie Pie levitated up through her helicopter and gasped when she saw Rainbow Dash's corpse. But then Pinkie Pie and Applejack, who got up here via levitating herself up, saw the My Little Dashie GIF and fawned over it instead, despite the fact that it was just a rotting corpse.

Then, Applejack realized that she was an Earth Pony, and vanished in a puff of logic.

Meanwhile, Spike, who was inexplicably alive, was making a potion to fulfill his greatest fetish. Then, the human police burst in and arrested him.

"You're under arrest for crimes against science."

However, Spike had an idea, and splashed the potion on the police. The police almost instantly morphed into G3 ponies. Spike knew that at this moment...he Spike-d up.

But then Spike slipped and splashed the potion all over himself, and he changed back into his G3 self.

Meanwhile, Twilight had somehow escaped and flew into Canterlot, where she was suddenly struck by black lightning. Then she realized that this was Nightmare Moon, like she can sense energy or something.

And then, there was more.

There were humans.

Tons of those pig-like things with big bellies and double chins, coming out of the human portal in the castle. Nightmare Moon tried to zap the humans out of existence, but it was too late, as she had become....

...a brony.

Tons of bronies began to infect tons of royal guards. One tried to kill a brony, but he just got back up again and turned him into a brony.

All of a sudden, an explosion happened in Ponyville, as Spike was getting ready to spread his G3ness across Equestria, having become one with the potion.

The first pony to be infected was Cheerilee, who was looking to get corpse-I mean weeds in her garden. Then, Spike suddenly turned her into her old self again, and she began to frolic in happiness.

Meanwhile, Pinkie had just become Cupcakes!Pinkie and began to kill everyone in sight. Then, when the bronies saw her, they squealed and came after Pinkie, turning any pony in their way into bronies, even the corpses.

Meanwhile, Celestia and Twilight were duking it out with each other about who should have a piece of Equestria when the bronies ambushed and overwhelmed them, turning them into bronies, too.

Except for Twilight, who snuck away and replaced herself with a transformable dummy.

Meanwhile, the Apples were tending to their farm, as usual.

Suddenly, parappa the parisites began to invade, rapping over any tree they found and turning them into gold Silento records.

"No! Not Silento records!" Applejack yelled as her impostor, named Apple Jacks, began to whip, nae nae, dab, and every overused and instantly dated trending dance there is in front of her.

Then, many bronies broke into the Apple barn, including a bronified Pinkie Pie. However, the bronies themselves were chased by the G3 ponies, who were invading in droves.

During the chaos, a dragon came and said: "Screw this, I'm outta here" and purchased a UFO, riding right out of this world.

The Brony Brigade, as the recently-founded ENN had called them, was still going and were beginning to spread out through the south and west of Equestria.

Discord came and attempted to use the power of chaos to stop the bronies in their tracks, but he himself became a brony, constantly singing badly made brony songs that abuse auto-tune and horrible lyrics.

All of a sudden, the entirety of the Crystal Empire, led by King Yamcha, came to the rescue. However, since their leader's name was Yamcha, this rescue was doomed to fail, and fail it did. Yamcha was killed by the bronies, since he wasn't good enough for them.

For some reason, Twilight realized a brony named the "Mysterious Mr. Povania" was beginning to make rant videos on other cartoons, and were transforming their recent kills into parodies of their cartoons.

Then, she was met with one of them, a sponge thing that called itself "SpongeBob", and was incredibly annoying. She shot it, though.

Meanwhile, someone called Smash Mouth began to make memes, that combated Apple Jacks' annoying datedness and blew her out of the water. Literally, she actually blew her out of a suddenly constructed pool that she was in.

Then, the bronies began to separate one by one and went their separate ways, still infecting whatever they came across.

Then, all of a sudden, aliens came and began to shoot everybody down. The invasion was led by the dragon from earlier, fed up with all this randomness.

Then, Twilight turned into a bomb and exploded, destroying the mountain range that Canterlot was on and causing another explosion.

The aliens were going faster, killing most of the G3 ponies and restoring them into their normal selves. The aliens didn't want to be called as much, but they mostly preferred to be called the "Hasbronians".

Soon enough, everyone was back to their G4 selves. All but Spike, who was drilling to the center of the Pony World to splash potion on it's inner core and turn everyone into G3 ponies, and a few holdouts.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, more rappers.

They began to turn the bronies into more of them, as they began to sing even more auto-tuned crap that would burst any normal person's eardrums.

Then, there were the pop-heads.

Infecting the brony and G3 holdouts and singing even more auto-tune. So much auto-tune, in fact, that it would even make Rebecca Black say "Nope.".

The rappers began to had "beefs" with them, and they declared war. The rappers won, since the pop-heads had zero rapping experience.

Then, through the chaos and war, a new, much larger spaceship came. The aliens in that were called "Mickey Mice", seasoned conquerors who had just gotten to the world of the Simpsons and were interested in taking this world over for their own gain.

The rappers, pop-heads, the last remaining bronies, changelings, threstrals, Hasbronians, G3 ponies, and etcs. joined forces to combat the Mice.

But while the combined alliance had power on their side, the Mice had a GIANT. FRIKKIN. LAZER. and they used it to good effect, showering the world and turning it into whiteness.

But what the Mice didn't count on was that Spike had already splashed the potion all over the inner core.

The result?

G3.5 ponies. Everywhere.

"Well, that was pointless." Spike said.

THE END *pfft!*