Hope You're Hungry
NoHornNeeded:
Hey, you awake?
LessThanThree:
Sure. What do you need?
NoHornNeeded:
Mostly I Just wanted to say thanks again for being there during the insanity.
LessThanThree:
No Prob. :)
NoHornNeeded:
Well, this round of Insanity.
This round of MY insanity.
Fuck it: you’re a great friend and I don’t edeserve you.
LessThanThree:
Well, I don’t know about ‘deserve’, but you’re stuck with me. :)
NoHornNeeded:
*deserve.
LessThanThree:
How is Twilight doing?
NoHornNeeded:
She’s at her place. Her mom is there, too; we’re kinda taking it in shifts.
She started out studying the biology of the digestive tract. Then she started in on physical therapy. Now she’s reading up on yoga.
LessThanThree:
??? She’s been home one day!
NoHornNeeded:
I’m sorry, have you not met?
LessThanThree:
It sounds like she’s well on the road to recovery. And you may end up with a very agile GF.
NoHornNeeded:
Why Flutters! ;)
LessThanThree:
That is NOT what I meant!
NoHornNeeded:
Uh-huh.
LessThanThree:
*blush*
NoHornNeeded:
>:D
LessThanThree:
You’re terrible!
NoHornNeeded:
I am.
LessThanThree:
But how are you doing?
NoHornNeeded:
Better. Twi’s parents are pretty awesome, and her older brother kinda gave me the once over and decided he approved.
Though he would have liked to have known sooner, much like her folks.
LessThanThree:
Why didn’t she tell them before? Did she think they wouldn’t approve?
They aren’t homophobic, are they?
NoHornNeeded:
*sigh* She said she didn’t want them to worry about a relationship affecting her GPA.
LessThanThree:
That…?
NoHornNeeded:
Yeah. I got nothing. Probably the worst way to meet the in-laws ever, but we’re making do.
LessThanThree:
In-laws?
NoHornNeeded:
Sorry. Tired. You know what I meant.
LessThanThree:
Uh-huh. :)
NoHornNeeded:
Great, now I’m blushing.
LessThanThree:
:D
But you never answered my question. If you don’t mind, how are you doing?
NoHornNeeded:
Better. Twilight’s getting better, like I said. And I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.
I would have destroyed myself if it hadn’t been for you. In a variety of ways. And I would have dragged my friends down with me. All kidding aside, I’m never going to forget that.
LessThanThree:
We all need reminding sometimes. I’m just glad I could be there.
NoHornNeeded:
Me too. *hug*
LessThanThree:
*hugs*
And how is your sister?
NoHornNeeded:
Adapting. I just got done talking with PTS. She’s keeping me as up to date as her privacy allows, which at the moment isn’t very much. But it sounds like she’s doing really well.
LessThanThree:
I’m glad.
NoHornNeeded:
Me, too.
You know, the funny thing is, I feel like something has been completed with all this. Something that’s always been out of balance finally brought in line somehow. It’s hard to describe, but it’s like the last piece of a puzzle is finally being put in its place, or a circle finally linked up with itself. And that’s taken a serious load off that I hadn’t realized was there.
LessThanThree:
What do you mean?
NoHornNeeded:
Well, all this time, I think in the back of my mind I was still afraid.
Afraid that I just came here because I couldn’t handle life on the other side. That the time would come that everything would spin out of control here, and I would trash my life here, too. Al my life, when I was growing up, there was this nagging sense that life was just wrong, but I didn’t know how. And I guess I ended up figuring that meant there had to be something wrong with me. Something flawed. Something weak. And that… really bothered me.
LessThanThree:
And now?
NoHornNeeded:
Now, I’m starting to wonder: maybe she and I were both just born in the wrong worlds?
Princess Twilight trotted down the corridor of her castle to the guest’s chambers, humming happily to herself. Held in her violet magic was a silver tray of breakfast, and in her saddlebags she had a selection of books she had spent all night carefully selecting as being just the perfect way for a former-human-now-unicorn to begin adjusting to her new life in Equestria. It hadn’t been an easy task, of course. She had no idea what her guest’s reading level was, or how much she might know already. So, to avoid either deluging the young lady with discouraging tomes or insulting her intelligence, Twilight had ultimately pieced together a few middle-ground books on Equestrian ancient history, recent history, customs, art, and magic. One of each, actually.
So, it was with a great deal of satisfaction that Twilight, Princess of Friendship, rapped gently on the door to her soon-to-be newest friend’s rooms.
“Good morning, Sunset!” she called cheerfully. “I made breakfast. May I come in?”
From the other side of the door was a muffled series of moans and mumblings.
Must not be a morning person, thought Twilight. Well, not everypony is.
Out loud, she said, “Would you rather I left it by the door, or brought it in?”
Something which sounded suspiciously like “Muffullpruffllmuff” came from within, followed by a hard thump of a body hitting the floor.
Twilight knocked again. “Are you okay?”
Then she heard the scream. Eyes wide, Twilight threw the door open with the force of her will, breakfast tray forgotten.
Sunset Shimmer was a thinly-built mare, her crimson and gold mane forming a single Zacora-like stripe. When she had first arrived, her most notable feature had been that, despite her age, she’d had no cutie mark. In retrospect, Twilight considered, that alone should have warned me. If she’s never even found herself…
Of course, in Twilight’s opinion, probably any human crossing over would have a blank flank. This Sunset was a native of a world which, from everything Twilight had seen and the other Sunset had described, was all but completely devoid of magic and had only one sentient race. It also managed to somehow combine the best and worst elements of every part of Twilight’s own world into a single city, without any cures available for its worst ailments.
Though Twilight had always avoided describing it as such to her friend Sunset, it was a world she considered to be broken. Fascinating, to be certain. And definitely exciting. But broken just the same. And as a result, most of the people who lived there she considered to be confined. Trapped in lives that caged their minds, keeping them from ever discovering their own true potential.
What therefore made the Rainbooms so special was not, Twilight felt, a little leaking of Equestrian magic. Oh, that was an influence, she had no doubt. But far more than that was the inspiration of Sunset Shimmer. Once Sunset had broken through her own psychic chains, she had helped them discover their true selves in ways that most humans simply never could, even as they had inspired and healed her in turn.
So of course this Sunset, the Sunset who was native to that world and all its soul-crushing elements, the Sunset with a diagonal scar across the left side of her throat, would wake up in a world of magic and beauty with a mix of disorientation and horror.
I really should have expected this. And instead, I stayed up most of the night picking out books for her to read. Stupid, Twilight, she sighed to herself. Very stupid.
Sunset Shimmer of the human world kept staring at her forehooves, her body and hind legs still tangled in the blankets where she fell.
“What the fuck… what the fuck…”
Twilight took a gentle step forward, hoping to be a reassuring presence without crowding her guest. “Sunset? It’s me. Princess Twilight? Do you remember how you got here?”
Sunset’s face whipped around to stare at Twilight, and for a moment the princess thought she was going to scream again. But instead, Sunset blinked. She took in a deep breath, and released it.
“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah. I remember. Sorry.”
“That’s okay. Are you alright?”
“I think so. Mostly. Maybe.” She sighed, frowning. “Assuming I’m not crazy, I’m in good shape.” She considered. “Always assuming, of course.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” Sunset shook her head. “Yeah, anyway. Sorry I crapped out on you last night. I wasn’t trying to be rude.”
Twilight shook her head. “No, not at all. Once the initial excitement wore off, you were falling asleep on your hooves. I’m just glad you’re feeling better now.”
“Thanks. So, um… your… Majesty?”
The princess smiled. “Just Twilight.”
She nodded, smiling back. “Twilight. Okay. Look, I have so many questions…”
Twilight gasped happily. “And I have answers!” She bounded over. “I am so looking forward to this! And I have questions too! I mean, Sunset Shimmer – the other one – I mean, not that you aren’t both complete individuals, just like the other Twilight and I are complete individuals, but anyway, you can so totally shed so much light on the human world! I mean, you were raised there, you grew up there, and you wouldn’t believe how little research there is on this side of the mirror! Well, okay, maybe you would, your world doesn’t seem to know much about Equestria, but still, I just can’t wait to find out about your world’s history, their culture, how it’s like and unlike this one, not to mention more about your sciences, because let me tell you, the few weeks I was there in Canterlot High hardly gave me more than just a taste of…” she trailed off, watching Sunset. “What?”
Sunset was smiling up at her from where she lay, chin resting on one hoof. “Nothing. Not a damn thing.”
Twilight blinked, then shrugged. “Well, anyway, as soon as you’re ready, we can have breakfast. And maybe we could exchange questions then?”
Sunset sat up, her blanket pooling around her waist. “Actually, breakfast leads to my first question.”
“Okay, shoot.” A pause. “I’m sorry, did… did I say something wrong?”
Sunset continued looking away, plainly struggling. “No, just… give me a minute.”
Twilight looked at her, uncertainly. “Should I come back later?”
Her eyes closed, her voice a whisper. “Please?”
Twilight gently closed the door behind her as she left.
The mess in the hall had been easily cleaned, the service set placed back in the kitchen. Whatever the new Sunset was dealing with, minor matters like spilled confections didn’t need to be added on. Twilight set an additional place at the table in silence. The dining room would be better for a Q&A session, anyway. More room for both of them to take notes. And if this Sunset was anything like the one she knew, she wouldn’t mind a little exchange of data. It might even help, though probably problem-solving would be better. Twilight sighed as she put the last glass in place. Assuming whatever was bothering her could even be solved.
The kitchen door opened slightly, simultaneously being knocked upon.
“Twilight? May I come in?”
Twilight grinned. “How did you find the dining room? I was about to come get you.”
Sunset opened the door a little wider, but did not enter. “I wandered around a bit. You’ve got a library in the middle of one level, some kind of meeting room on another… the place is basically set up like a hexagonal panopticon, with each level having a slight rotation along the axis, probably for the more efficient transmission of heat from the fireplaces during winter through a winding chimney system.” She paused at Twilight’s look, then looked down. “I, um, didn’t see any heating ducts. So anyway, from there it was just a matter of finding the kitchen.”
“Which just meant finding the source of the fireplaces’ rotation on the ground level. And the dining room would be connected to the kitchen. That’s great!” Twilight trotted over to her. “You’re the first pony to figure that out.” She considered for a moment, then added, “Not that there have been many ponies here yet. It’s kinda new.”
Still looking down. “Um, thanks.”
“Hey, I know I keep asking this,” Twilight said gently, “but are you okay?”
“All things are relative.”
Twilight stepped a little closer. “Do you want to skip breakfast? Do you need more time? I want to be here for you, but I don’t want to push.”
“You’re not pushing. It’s just…” She glanced over at the table. “Look, can we sit down?”
“Of course.”
Watching Sunset figure out how to sit in her new body was a several-second study in relative biological adaptation which, under other circumstances, Twilight would have found fascinating. As it was, with her guest’s hesitancy and discomfort, it just seemed awkward and unfortunate. Still, it ended with Sunset Shimmer sitting nearby Twilight, on the broad side of a very long table.
“You live in a castle,” Sunset observed. “And your history, from what you’ve said already, has parallels to my world. So, I’m guessing you have a law of hospitality?”
“Sure,” Twilight nodded. “It’s not formally invoked much anymore, but it’s there. Why? Do you have enemies I need to know about?”
“No.” She took in a deep breath, then released it. “I just think you have a right to know some things about me, and then decide if you really want me at your table. Or under your roof at all.”
Princess Twilight nodded again, this time slowly. “Alright. How formally do you want to do this?”
“Not terribly. I’ve never been good at formal.”
“Good. Me neither.”
“Okay. Good. So.” She stared at nothing in particular for a moment, then said, “Do you know what a gun is?”
“Essentially. Your histories are full of them. Missile weapons, firing projectiles through sudden chemical discharge.”
“Yeah. Well. I met your friend Sunset by trying to kill her.”
Silence.
“I shot at her with a gun. She was unarmed. I tried to murder her.”
Silence.
“I only failed because Twilight – your counterpart – got in the way. She almost died.”
Silence.
“When they found me, I was trying to figure out whether to kill myself or not. I mean, so far as I knew, I’d just murdered an innocent. What’s left after that? Anyway, then your Sunset and I tried to kill each other. She won. She almost… well, she didn’t. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she did, but she didn’t.” Sunset made a helpless gesture. “So.”
Finally, the princess spoke. “You shot Twilight Sparkle. Your Twilight Sparkle.”
“Yeah.”
“Trying to kill the other Sunset.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Will you tell me why?”
Sunset winced as if she’d been struck. She opened her eyes, looked at Twilight Sparkle again. “I thought she’d stolen my life.”
Twilight took a moment, seeming to consider all of what she had been told very carefully.
“I assume that the Sunset and Twilight of the other world already know all this.”
“Yeah. They got the detailed version.”
“And yet, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle of Canterlot High both recommended that you be allowed to start a new life here. Why do you think that is?”
Sunset shrugged.
“That wasn’t a rhetorical question,” Princess Twilight said. “Sorry, but you invoked the laws of hospitality earlier, along with my rights as host. By default, your obligations as guest are also at hand.”
Sunset’s voice was quiet. “I don’t know.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well then, give me your best guess! Sure, we’re different people, but our counterparts tend to be very much like ourselves. So, Sunset, why would Sunset Shimmer contact me, and recommend that you come here?”
“Well, it gives me a fresh start.”
“And?”
“She’s a good person.”
“And?”
“Because…” Sunset took a moment, holding her breath. Biting her lower lip, she grabbed her tears and forced them back into a tightly-locked box within her mind. Then she exhaled, and said, “This is… I’ve always dreamed of a world like this. That’s why I’m afraid of it. Throughout my entire life, I always knew there was something fundamentally wrong, something insane, about the world.” She stood. “There’s a poem, kind of. I mean it’s part of an old play, but…”
She closed her eyes. “A mad animal,” she recited. “Man's a mad animal. I'm a thousand years old and in my time I've helped commit a million murders. The earth is spread... The earth is spread THICK with squashed human guts!”
With gritted teeth, she continued, “We few survivors... We few survivors... walk over a quaking bog of corpses. Always under our feet, every step we take... rotted bones, ashes, matted hair under our feet... broken teeth, skulls split open.” Every muscle was taut now, her shoulders shaking with emotion. “A mad animal! I’M a mad animal!” her voice rose, eyes staring outward to accuse an unseen mob, “Prisons don't help! Chains don't help! I escape through all the walls, through all the slime and THE SPLINTERED BONES…!”
Then stared at Twilight, piercing her with her gaze, voice cracking with sheer loathing, “You'll see it all one day.”
Twilight swallowed. “Sweet… Celestia.”
Sunset’s shoulders sagged slightly, the tension gone, the moment over. “Yeah, well. That’s humanity,” she said. “That’s where I’m from. And it’s fucking crazy there. My whole life, even as a little girl, I always told myself, ‘I don’t belong here, I don’t.’ I dreamed of being in a world with unicorns and dragons, with princesses and magic and fantastic monsters and, well… in a way, that kinda made me crazy. Deviant, maybe dysfunctional, depending on how you slice it…” she gave a sad chuckle. “The big D’s, I had ‘em.
“Then, I committed murder. Or almost did. Twilight lived, but not through any fault of mine. And so then, maybe I did belong there now. Maybe I’d finally adapted to the nightmare that was my species. Become one of them, at last.
“And now I’m in this place.” She gestured around herself. “In a crystalline tree-palace full of books. In a world of magic and unicorns and every possible opportunity I’ve ever wanted in my life. Talking to a fairy princess about why the woman I tried to kill, and whose lover I almost killed, would say I should be here. And all I can say is, I don’t know. Because maybe it’s too late for me. Maybe I became the thing that I fought against all my life. I mean, add ‘dangerous’ and ‘causing distress’ to the D-list, and there’s not much left to talk about, is there? And if I really belong in that madness, how can I belong here?”
Twilight considered her. “So, you’re afraid of… not being allowed to stay.”
“I’m afraid of being poisonous to you. That I can’t stay.”
“But you want to.”
“Yes! God, yes!” She gestured towards the walls, saying, “After you left, I looked out my window, and I saw winged ponies of all colors, laughing, having a relay race in the clouds! I saw them orchestrating the fucking weather! I saw little kids, laughing and playing without anybody having to watch them just to make sure they weren’t stolen, to be sold or used. And I saw magic,” she said, her voice almost a whisper. “I saw people using magic like it was an everyday thing. I saw more beautiful things in five minutes than I have in the last five years! Yes, of course I want to stay!”
Twilight’s frustration was palpable. “Then why are you telling me all this?”
“Because you have a right to know what you’re getting into with me, God dammit!”
Twilight let out a deep, solemn sigh, and nodded. Rising from where she sat, she went over to the other unicorn. Sunset waited, obviously willing herself not to wince or look away. This was it, her look seemed to say. This was the moment when everything beautiful would be taken away from her again. She closed her eyes, accepting her fate as the princess reached out and placed a hoof on her shoulder.
“I welcome thee into my home,” Twilight intoned. “That my hearth may warm thee and keep thee safe.”
Sunset blinked.
“My grain is thy grain,” Twilight went on, “my bed is thy bed, my water is thy water, thy enemies mine own, till free will or good circumstance give us parting of our ways.”
Staring, unbelieving, Sunset put her own hoof on Twilight’s. “Never shall I bring fire to thy house,” she replied in a shaky voice, “unless it be to warm thee and keep thee safe. Thy enemies are mine till we do part, e’en as I shall fight for the walls of thy estate and all who dwell therein.”
There was a moment when they looked at one another, smiling. Then they embraced.
“You okay?” Twilight asked.
Sunset sniffed. “Uh-huh.”
After another minute, they pulled apart.
“So, you like pancakes?”
A grin. “Pancakes? Unicorns eat pancakes?”
“Wellllll…” Twilight rolled her eyes a little. “When Spike is here, unicorns eat pancakes. When he’s not here, like today, unicorns eat the closest thing there is when I try to make pancakes.”
“Uh-huh. Which is what, exactly?”
Twilight seized the silver dish cover with her magic and whipped it away with a flourish, revealing the breakfast she had prepared.
“They’re perfectly edible,” she assured Sunset.
Sunset nodded, trying desperately to keep a straight face. “Syrup and jelly?”
“In the ice box.”
Sunset winked. “I’ll be right back.”
Twilight trotted after her. “Oh, you’ll want to try the honey. The bees are friends of Fluttershy’s…”
Hey, Sunset, are you available?
Sure. What’s up?
Just giving you an update. Sunset is doing well. (Wow, that’s going to get confusing fast!) We got off to a little bit of a rocky start, but she seems to be acclimating nicely. (Smile.)
Good. I was hoping she would. She knows she can always come back if she wants, right?
Yes, but I don’t think that will be an issue. She really seems to love it here. We had breakfast, then spent the day just wandering Ponyville. It was like taking a foal to a carnival. Once I convinced her to accept it was my treat – which wasn’t easy – she bought a few toys, a painting, and a leather cloak. Then we got home and spent the rest of the evening talking metaphysical theory. She’s a fast study; I think I’ve got my hooves full with this one. (Wink.)
Is it egotistical when I say that I’m not surprised?
(Laughs.) Probably not. Speaking of otherworldly twins, how is Twilight?
Conscious, and therefore reading. She’s been researching how best to recover from some injuries she received recently.
Yeah, Sunset told me.
I figured she might, but I didn’t want to assume.
Of course.
So anyway, she’s been making a lot of notes, cross-referencing this world’s yoga with physiology and stuff to compile a recovery regimen. When she’s done, I’m sure she’ll be compiling everything together. Would you like copies?
(Delighted gasp!) Yes, please!
Awesome, I’ll let her know.
Great, thank you! Listen, I hate to have this be so short, but I’ve got to get some sleep. Write to you later on, okay?
Okay. Good night.
Good night. (Hugs.)
Sunset Shimmer smiled.
(Hugs.)
She closed the book gently. It had been a hell of a week, all told. Still, it was a strange life, but a good one, and certainly far better than any she would have found for herself in her old home. And her own counterpart, if everything went well, would find a better life for herself in Equestria. There was a symmetry to that, one which she found strangely comforting.
And there was still something she had left to do, she determined. Fluttershy might not think it necessary, but she did. Hopefully she was still up.
She mentally shrugged. Well, only one way to find out.
Sunset sat down at her computer, logged onto Eris, and started typing.
NoHornNeeded:
Hey, you awake?