It was a cloudless autumn night. The stars shone brightly, clearly defined in the dark sky above Ponyville as midnight drew ever nearer.
The town itself was quiet. Most of its population was already asleep, except for those unlucky enough to have to work the late shift. Two bakers, husband and wife, were putting the finishing touches to a large order that had to be shipped to Canterlot early the next morning.
Apart from that, everypony had retired to bed – the only other lights in town were coming from the lower windows of Twilight Sparkle's library, where she was hosting her second ever slumber party with her five closest friends.
They were giggling at the expense of Rainbow Dash, who had fallen prey to one of Rarity's famous makeovers – her colourful hair had been styled into bangs and she was wearing a frilly white dress.
"Ugh! I don't see why you had to dress me up like this," she snorted.
"Sorry Rainbow, but we have to stick to the rules," said Twilight, ticking off another activity in her book Slumber 101: all you ever wanted to know about slumber parties but were afraid to ask.
"Hey, if ah can put up with it then so can you," smiled Applejack, glad that her own turn was over, "Besides, yah don't look too ridiculous."
Dash's expression indicated that comment hadn't helped her mood much.
"Okay! Next activity," said Twilight, using her magic to make Dash's dress disappear and revert her hairstyle back to normal.
The blue pegasus looked herself over to see that all of Rarity's work had been undone. "Well. That seemed… pointless," she said, then flew up into the air, her wings free to move once again, "So what's next, Twi?"
"Well let's see," said the purple unicorn, "We've had makeovers, we've made s'mores and we've played truth or dare…"
Fluttershy meeped at the mention of that last game. She'd been forced to reluctantly admit that she had a crush on Big Macintosh – a fact made worse by the fact Applejack had volunteered to set her up with her brother and Rarity was already thinking of what she could wear on their first date. She'd spent the entirety of the makeover session silently fretting about how the date could turn out and whether Big Mac would even agree to it.
The final member of the slumber party, the pink candy-floss maned pony known as Pinkie Pie, was relaxing on her favourite beanbag chair, which was propped up against the far wall. She was lying on her back with one of her hind legs crossed over the other and her forelegs folded behind her head.
"Ooh, hey! Let's make s'mores again! They were delish," she said.
"Sorry Pinkie, but I've already crossed it off my list. I'm not sure if we're allowed to do the same thing twice in one night," replied Twilight, "Besides, we're out of marshmallows."
"Oh. Hmm…" Pinkie pondered, tapping her hoof against her chin.
Suddenly she leapt up from her seat: "I know! Rarity!"
At the sound of her name, Ponyville's premier fashionista raised her head from her chaise longue.
"Make sure nopony takes my seat. I'm going to fetch some goodies from Sugarcube Corner."
The pink pony began bouncing off but was stopped by Applejack.
"Hold up there, pardner. I think the rest of us are all s'mored out. Besides, ain't Mr and Mrs Cake busy tonight? Ah don't think they'd 'preciate it if you showed up and felt the need to – you know – test the merchandise."
"Oh come on. I promise I'll be quick!" said Pinkie, but her friend stood firm. She pouted and went back to her beanbag. No more sweets tonight.
"Why are ya so intent on keeping that seat anyways?" asked Applejack, settling back down on a spot on the library floor.
"Isn't it obvious? It's in my favourite place," she replied, indicating with her hoof, "Propped up right against the fourth wall."
Her friend was perplexed: "The fourth wall? What makes that'un the fourth wall?"
"Silly," she giggled, "This wall has the front door in it, so when you come inside and look around it's the last wall you see. One, two, three, four," she pointed at the walls, counting them out.
Twilight continued skimming through her book: "Okay, so we've done that, done that… looks like the next item on the agenda is a pillow fi…"
She stopped mid-sentence and looked around the room. Applejack and Rarity were sitting peacefully and memories of their last pillow fight were still prevalent in her mind. Then she looked over at Pinkie Pie, had a vision of what could happen if she joined in, and decided instead to quietly tick that part of the night off her list.
"The next thing to do is tell each other ghost stories," she said, slamming the book shut.
Fluttershy shook herself out of her reverie: "Oh my. Do we have to? I don't like ghost stories. They're so… scary."
"That's because you're scared of everything," Rainbow Dash retorted.
Pinkie Pie was more sympathetic: "Don't worry Fluttershy, they're only stories. Anyway, sometimes it's fun to be scared."
The yellow pegasus reflected on her possible upcoming date with Big Mac and decided her friend was right.
"Come sit over here," Pinkie Pie tapped a spot on the floor next to her seat, "If you get frightened, I'll protect you."
Fluttershy fluttered over to her and snuggled up against the beanbag.
"Okay, so who's first?" asked Twilight, "Applejack, Rarity, you never got to tell those stories you thought up at our first slumber party. Why don't you guys go first?"
The two friends glanced at each other, sharing guilty looks.
"Oh no, I couldn't possibly," said Rarity, "Besides, I don't think I remember exactly how it goes."
"Er, yeah. I figure ah've forgotten mah story too. Ain't that the darnedest thing?" Applejack grinned nervously.
Rainbow Dash spared the pair from any further questions by swooping into the centre of the room: "Well if you guys can't think of anything, I'll go first – but you'd better prepare yourselves because this is going to be awesome. This is a little tale I call:
Rainbow Dash Versus The Space Monkeys.
It was just another typical day in Cloudsdale. I was flying around doing what I do – performing tricks to wow all the fillies, mares and gentlecolts. First I performed the Buccaneer Blaze, then I followed up with a Reverse Cloudbuster and finally I finished with my latest move – the Tailswirling Salute.
The crowd was astonished. "Why isn't this mare in the Wonderbolts?" they all asked, "She's the best flier in Equestria after all, and she's got such a magnificent pl …"
"Rainbow, I think you're getting a little sidetracked," interrupted Twilight.
…umage - oh, right. Sorry. Well anyway, everypony thought she was the greatest and they knew that if they were ever in trouble, they would be able to depend on her. Little did they know that that time would be coming sooner than they thought!
In fact, it was coming right now. Because far off in another galaxy, a planet of evil space aliens were preparing to invade Equestria and take it over completely!
Oh, they were an ugly bunch alright. Their ears stuck out on the side of their heads and they stood on only two legs. They had hands with opposable thumbs and big, spiky teeth.
They were green too, because aliens are always green.
They were the space monkeys and they were all dressed the same – a purple, swishing cape, a blue uniform with huge shoulder pads and a black and white striped helmet that they had to wear to protect their oversized, exposed brains.
And there were hundreds of them.
The leader of them all stepped out onto a stage in front of a huge purple curtain to address his subjects.
"Residents of Monkeyville! Listen to me! Lend me your ears! Direct your attention towards the words I have to say! Today is the day that we, the rightful rulers of Equestria, shall rise up and take over their world! We shall depose Princess Celestia and take revenge for the exile she imposed upon us thousands of years ago! We shall take our place upon her throne – though not at the same time because there would not be enough room – and conquer those accursed ponies!"
The monkeys all cheered evilly.
"But there is one pony who stands in our way. One pony who could thwart our schemes. One pony who could prevent us from fulfilling our destiny."
He walked over to a big board and whipped off the canvas that was covering it, revealing a picture of yours truly.
"Rainbow Dash! She is the only pony who can…"
"Dashie, I do so hate to interrupt," said Applejack, "But what about the rest of us? There are six elements of harmony, ya know."
"Hey, who's telling this story?" Rainbow Dash frowned and folded her forelegs, still hovering in mid-air.
Applejack relented and indicated for her to go on.
"But we have made our plans well," said the monkey leader, "We have plotted, we have conspired, we have schemed and we have connived."
"We have prepared as well!" shouted a voice from the crowd.
"Right you are!" said the big boss monkey, "And we have come up with the perfect solution to our little problem. Really, really big guns!"
He pulled on a drawstring and the curtains drew back to reveal hundreds of spaceships, all armed to the teeth with rockets, missiles, machine guns – you name it, they had it.
"The time is now! Let us depart!" he declared.
They clambered into their spaceships and the whole fleet of them took off as one, before zooming through space at incredible speed and travelling to our planet almost faster than I could.
Soon they had all arrived in Cloudsdale. Everypony was terrified and chaos ensued. They all cowered and hid away from the space invaders.
The boss monkey opened the canopy of his spaceship and pulled out a megaphone. "Rainbow Dash!" he cried, "We challenge you to pony-on-monkey combat! We demand that you come out and face us! We order you to fight for the future of your world, so that we can defeat you and finally rule all of Equestria! And then it shall be us who is in charge, not your precious Princess Celestia, nor her reclusive sister, in fact nopony at all! For it shall be us who are the new commanders-in-chief! Muuhahahaha! Now come out!"
So there I am, flying out of my house, taking my time – I see the monkeys with their huge fleet of spaceships and I'm not even bothered. Because you know, these guys are nothing to me. I could take them out in ten seconds flat. Or maybe even eight.
"What do you want?" I demanded.
"We've already told you!"
Er… ha, yeah, they kinda did… wait, I've got it.
I just closed my eyes and grinned at them: "I wasn't listening!"
Because seriously, I'm too cool to pay attention to these losers. Right?
"Well be sure to listen more closely this time, because I am not one for repeating myself!" bellowed the monkey leader, "We are challenging you to a fight that will decide the future of Equestria! The whole of your planet is at stake! But unfortunately for you, there is nothing you can do about it – for our armies our vast and you are but one pony! You are just a lone pegasus against a fleet of our most heavily armed war machines! It would be best if you were to just surrender right now. Give up. Relinquish your world to us."
"Nope," I said, then I charged at them before they even knew what was happening.
I headed right for the centre of their fleet and when I reached it I was going so fast that I broke the sound barrier – performing my signature move, the Sonic Rainboom. The explosion was so intense that it blasted every single spaceship out of the atmosphere and sent them flying back to their planet, which they smashed into so hard that it exploded, ending the space monkey threat forever.
And so the day was saved, thanks to the one and only Rainbow Dash. The end.
Dash smiled, extremely satisfied with the story she had just told. Her friends were not quite so convinced.
"That ended kinda suddenly," said Twilight, ever the master of understatement.
"And it wasn't scary," said Applejack.
Dash frowned.
"Oh, come on guys," she said, "I was the hero of the story. It's not like the bad guys were gonna win, was it? Why would I want to end it on a downer? And I thought I described the baddies quite well. Fluttershy, you were scared, weren't you?"
The yellow pegasus blinked, then smiled weakly: "Oh, yes. Very scared."
Rarity raised an eyebrow: "Seriously, darling?"
"Oh, most definitely," she nodded eagerly, "Yes, it was… very scary."
Dash had now come back down to earth and was feeling slightly deflated: "You weren't frightened at all, were you?"
"Well… no," she admitted, looking away, "There wasn't any tension throughout because you kept saying how easily you were going to beat them, the pacing was all wrong and the very idea that monkeys could evolve to the point where they could use complicated technology just broke my suspension of disbelief. But, um, I don't like scary stories anyway, so the fact this story wasn't scary at all meant that I enjoyed it."
Dash beamed and trotted over to take a seat on the floor next to Applejack.
"Okay," said Twilight, "Now Rainbow's started us off, who wants to go next?"
"Ooh! Me me me!" Pinkie shouted suddenly, giving everypony their first genuine scare of the night.
Twilight exhaled heavily to steady her nerves: "Alright then. Go for it."
Pinkie grinned and went straight into her tale:
It was a beautiful sunny morning in Equestria and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Pinkie Pie – that's me – had just had a delicious breakfast of marshmallow fluff on toast and was ready for the day ahead.
I bounced out into the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner and saw that Mr and Mrs Cake were very busy making a large batch of goodies for Canterlot, so I offered to help them out because I thought they could do with a taste tester. Because as you know, only the very best cakes will do when it comes to the royal palace. It was my privilege – no, my duty – to make sure they all came up to scratch.
But Mr and Mrs Cake didn't see it that way so they asked me to go do something outside – and they didn't even tell me what it was they wanted me to do! How crazy is that?
So I went outside and the sun felt so warm on my face that it really made me happy. So much better than all the rain we've been having lately, I'm sure you'd agree.
I didn't have anything to do so I decided to go out into the fields surrounding Ponyville.
I was passing by a big bed of roses when suddenly I saw it – a beautiful blue butterfly. I think it was royal blue, which is quite an apt name when you think about it because it's the same colour as Luna's mane, isn't it?
I watched the butterfly fluttering around with a big smile on my face and then it landed on my nose and I sneezed – achoo! And the butterfly flew away.
I bounced after it for a while but I lost track of it, so I decided to have a nice roll around in the grass instead.
Then I saw one of my bestest buddies in the whole world, Twilight Sparkle, coming along. She told me that Spike was going to be away tonight so she was throwing a slumber party.
My first thought was: "What? Somepony is throwing a party and that pony isn't me? What is this madness?"
But then my second thought was: "Yay! A party!"
So I agreed to come along and then I saw the butterfly again, so I bounced away…
"Um, Pinkie?" said Twilight.
"Yes Twilight?" asked Pinkie, tilting her smiling head inquisitively.
"What is this story about, exactly?"
"Well, I couldn't come up with a really good story off the top of my head so I thought I'd tell you all about what I got up to today," the pink pony beamed.
Her five friends shared bemused looks.
"Darling," began Rarity, "We're supposed to be telling each other ghost stories. Giving each other scares. That sort of thing."
"Oh yeah," giggled Pinkie, "But wait a minute. Dashie's story wasn't scary."
"Well, I know," admitted Dash, scratching the back of her neck, "But it was supposed to be."
"Do you want to have another try, Pinkie?" asked Twilight.
"I'll give it a shot," she replied, "But I'll need some time to think up a super-duper mega-scary story for you all."
"Pinkie Pie being scary? Hah. I'll believe it when I see it," Dash muttered under her breath.
"So, who's next?" asked Twilight.
Rarity pulled herself into an upright position on her chaise longue: "I think I have something in mind."
"You'd better be quick," said Pinkie, "I don't think we've got much time left. Probably just enough space for you to set up a cliffhanger."
"What are you talking about?" asked the white unicorn, "We're not heading off to bed anytime soon."
Her friend just smiled sweetly in response, so she thought it best to ignore her.
She raised her hoof dramatically, getting into story-telling mode: "Prepare yourself, friends, to hear about the most terrifying creatures that ever lived! For this is the tale of:
The Unfashionable Zombie Ponies.
The sun was setting on another day in our beautiful world of Equestria. Ponyville was quiet for now, save for the noise of the town's premier designer toiling away in her shop.
It had been a busy afternoon in the Carousel Boutique and Rarity was glad to have some time to herself so she could work on her designs. It's vitally important for anypony working in the fashion trade to keep up with the latest trends and keep her mind focused on what ponies are going to be wearing in the seasons ahead.
So she worked through into the night, bent over her sewing machine, stitching together dresses, testing out new fashions on her mannequins, totally unaware of what was happening outside.
She was trying to pass an irritatingly frayed thread through a needle when she momentarily lost concentration. The needle fell and pinged against the floor.
Rarity scrunched her face in annoyance but she didn't curse – there's never any call for unladylike behaviour.
It was only then that she realised how quiet it was. Quiet enough for the sound of the needle dropping to be the loudest around.
She tilted her head to one side, trying to listen out for anything, anything at all. There was nothing. Nothing that she could hear above of the hum of the lighting in her boutique.
It was quite curious, and not a little eerie, to hear a silent Ponyville. It wasn't even that late at night. There should still be at least a few ponies outside going about their business, possibly even a couple of fillies playing late.
Suddenly the silence was broken by a loud banging upon her front door. Rarity shrieked with fright and it took a couple of moments for her to compose herself.
Before she could gather her wits enough to answer, whoever it was knocking frantically on her door began screaming for help.
Rarity felt a chill pass through her that cut her to the bone. She knew that voice. It was a voice she was well acquainted with.
Hearing her sister in distress spurred Rarity into action. She dashed to the front door and unbolted it with her magic, and it promptly burst open as Sweetie Belle barged her way inside.
The little filly was a frightful mess – she was trembling and she appeared to be close to tears. She was breathing hard, her chest heaving in and out.
"My goodness Sweetie Belle, what's wrong with you? Whatever's happened?"
She managed to catch her breath long enough to gasp out a dire warning: "The door! You've gotta close the door!"
Rarity, confused and not a little frightened, walked to the open doorway and looked out, trying to see exactly what it was that had terrified her dear sister.
There was nothing that seemed too out of the ordinary – just a lone pony who was making its way towards the Carousel Boutique.
Then she realised there was something not quite right. The pony was moving slowly with a stumbling gait and its eyes were slightly off-focus. It wasn't looking to see where it was going, it was as if it was being guided by some kind of primordial instinct.
But there was another detail, one that truly clued Rarity into the fact that something was deeply wrong. It was… it was…
"Oh my goodness! Darling! What ARE you wearing?" she gasped, "No no no, this simply won't do! Green is not your colour. Come inside and I'll…"
"No! Not inside!" hollered Sweetie Belle, throwing herself across the room and slamming into the door, knocking it shut.
Rarity tutted: "Now that was just plain rude. I know it's late but that pony desperately needed fashion advice. Did you see that outfit? Ugh, so many sequins."
"You don't understand. That pony was sick. There's some kind of horrible illness going around. Anypony who catches it starts acting all funny and then, and then they try to attack anypony who isn't infected."
Rarity felt a prickle of fear run down her back. Her sister wasn't the sort to lie, especially about something like this.
She continued: "I – I saw somepony getting attacked. There was an infected pony and he went for her and then – then there was a bad touch and the other pony caught the illness. After that they went to a clothes rack and started dressing up."
The fashion-conscious pony swallowed hard: "Wh-what did they wear?"
"Flank-high socks and a bowler hat."
A deathly silence fell. A cold trickle of sweat dripped down Rarity's forehead as she began to understand the enormity of what they were dealing with.
Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door as the infected zombie pony started hammering its hooves against it, trying to get in. Rarity quickly locked the bolt – she couldn't allow herself to catch the disease. She could be the only one left in Ponyville who had any fashion sense.
She was alerted by the sound of shattering glass from the other side of the room, then let out a terrified shriek as she saw dozens of infected ponies through the smashed window of her back door.
"Sweetie Belle! To me!" she cried as the ponies broke in.
The two sisters ran into the centre of the room and huddled together. The front door shuddered, then fell forward as the zombie ponies advanced. They were trapped on both sides.
Rarity gaped in shock, her mind simply unable to take in what she was seeing. The infected ponies began to stumble towards them, getting closer and closer. Meanwhile, her sister had spotted the storage room and was desperately trying to get inside, gripping the door knob with her front hooves and pushing hard against the frame with her hind legs.
"It's locked! Rarity, you've got to get the key!" she grunted, "Sis! Are you even listening to me?"
"This – this is wrong. So very wrong," came the terrified reply, "The hemline is far too high on that outfit and ugh! Red with purple? What are you thinking? And the stitching, oh my goodness, the stitching – can nopony sew in this town?"
She gasped as she saw the most terrifying sight of all: "You're wearing boots with a dress, darling? Have you gone stark, staring mad?"
"Hey!" interrupted Applejack, "Was that supposedta be a dig at me? I'll have you know boots can be mighty comfortable when you're making the trek home from a gala. Didn't ever hurt nopony to be practical."
"Oh, and your mane! So messy. So unkempt," said Rarity, who understood the importance of grooming oneself once in a while.
Sweetie Belle leapt up and grabbed her by the head, pulling her down so they were face-to-face: "Rarity. The key."
"Y-yes. Yes!" she said, trying to control her fear long enough to remember where she had put it. Her memory clicked into action and she used her magic to bring it over from her dresser drawer – all the while the zombie ponies were getting closer, almost within biting distance.
"I'm sorry, the horror of it all is getting to me," she stammered, pushing the key into the lock, "Don't worry, we'll be able to hide out in here until we – SATIN WITH TARTAN?!"
The sheer scale of the fashion disaster in front of her caused her to freeze up with shock. Luckily, her brave little sister was on the case.
Sweetie Belle opened the now-unlocked door and grabbed her sister by the mane, half-dragging her into the storage room before closing the entrance behind them. Rarity, shaken out of her state of confusion, lashed out with her magic to pull a nearby wardrobe across to blockade the door.
There was a cavalcade of noise as the unfashionable zombie ponies attempted to break their way in, but to no avail. At least, not yet. The two sisters were safe but they had no way out – the storage room had no windows, no other exits through which they could make their escape.
With the immediate danger passed, the rush of adrenaline began to fade from Sweetie Belle's system and the reality of their situation started to kick in. She was still only a filly after all, and it's not everyday that everypony in your town becomes affected by a zombifying illness and tries to attack you.
She walked over to her sister and collapsed into a hug. "What are we going to do?" she sniffed, "We're trapped. We can't stay in here forever."
Rarity had no response. Their situation seemed hopeless. Of all the worst things that could happen, this was –
No. She had to be brave. She couldn't expect Sweetie Belle to play the hero all by herself.
She scanned the room quickly to see if there was anything they could use as a weapon. All of her equipment was kept in here – mannequins, fabric and various fashion accessories. An idea began to form in her head.
Sweetie Belle watched in bemusement as her sister fired up the sewing machine and started weaving a new outfit out of denim and nylon.
"What are you doing?" she asked, "This is no time for fashion, this is a time for action."
"You're just going to have to trust your big sister on this one," came the reply, "Oh, I think I have some Kevlar knocking around here somewhere. Could you be a dear and find it for me?"
Rarity stitched faster than she ever had in her life. The outfits weren't perfect but in this case that could actually work in their favour – the worse they looked, the better the chance the infected ponies might mistake them as one of their own. The wardrobe blocking the entrance shuddered as the zombies attacked with full force. Cracks started to show in the walls around the door frame.
Sweetie Belle caught on and started looking around for things to use as weapons. About ten minutes later the sound of shattering wood warned them their time was up, although by now they had prepared as well as they could.
Their ensembles were the worst-looking creations Rarity had ever made – even taking into account those abominations that were designed for our little 'fashion show' – but they were practical.
Coated from head to hoof in protective material, reinforced umbrella hats for charging through the crowd and mannequin legs for striking out at anypony who got in their way – the sisters were ready for action.
They looked at each other, nodded determinedly, then Rarity used her magic to slam the wardrobe aside. The zombie horde pushed forward but Sweetie Belle was ready for them – her horn glowed as she threw a sheet, weighted at its four corners, into the crowd and snared up a number of them within.
"Go!" shouted Rarity, "No unnecessary violence, just hit the ones that get in your way!"
She thrust her mannequin leg forward and knocked down several of the nearest attackers, then leapt into the throng, thrusting her hat-clad head at anypony that dared stumble within biting distance. It was only a short distance to the exit but there were a large number of bodies separating her from salvation.
Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle was in her element. She swung her weapon around like a baseball professional, knocking zombies off their hooves to the left and right – but in all her enthusiasm, she wasn't watching her flank.
Out of the corner of her eye, Rarity noticed a pink, candy floss-maned zombie pony who wasn't moving with the rest. Her head was flicking from side to side, watching her slow, shambling brethren with bemusement.
Then she gave a carefree shrug and suddenly started running at full pelt – straight towards Sweetie Belle!
Rarity cried out in horror and charged at the attacking pony, leaping into the air and knocking her down before she could attack her sister.
The pair rolled and fought on the floor but the pink pony soon got the upper hand. She pinned the struggling white unicorn to the ground, her blue eyes burning with the desire for flesh, and started tearing at her clothes with hooves and teeth –
"Wow! This is getting really exciting!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash, her wings spread out to their full extent.
Rarity cried for help as the pink pony managed to pull apart the stitching of her outfit, exposing the skin of her neck.
Sweetie Belle heard that her sister was in trouble and raised her weapon, swinging it forward in a deadly attack.
But she was too late! The pink pony lunged at Rarity's neck and bit down hard – we're vegetarians by nature of course, so our teeth aren't designed for ripping and tearing, but the attack still broke the skin –
Fluttershy let out a terrified yelp, covering her mouth with her hooves: "Oh no!"
Oh yes! Sweetie Belle hit the pink pony in the head with full force, knocking her unconscious.
"Stay off my sister!" she yelled, then reached a hoof down to help a shivering Rarity to her feet.
They were close to the exit now. Sweetie Belle propped up her sister as they made their way out into the night, attacking zombie ponies as they went.
There were a few more of the infected outside but they were too far away to be any immediate danger. The two sisters pushed onwards, heading towards the way out of Ponyville, but Rarity stumbled and fell as the disease began to take hold.
Sweetie Belle was confused at first, not quite realising what was happening.
She knelt down on her forelegs, her face close to her sister: "Rarity? Come on, sis, we can't stop now. We're almost home free."
Rarity could feel her strength fading. It wouldn't be long now. Sweetie Belle spotted the bite mark on her neck and finally understood.
"No. Oh no," she said, holding her sister in a close embrace, "No, this can't be happening. You're going to be okay, sis. You're going to be okay."
"Sweetie Belle," said Rarity softly, "I've been bitten. I'm changing, I can feel it already. I already think open-hooved sandals are the height of fashion."
The little filly wept as she held her sister close. The zombie ponies from the boutique were outside now and it would only be a matter of minutes before they were upon them.
"Sweetie Belle," said Rarity, forcing the words out with some effort, "It's up to you now."
She shook her head furiously: "No! I can't do it without you!"
"You've already proven that you can easily handle yourself. You'll need to take care of yourself from now on though, because I won't be there to watch your flank. Go. Find Celestia. Find Zecora. Find somepony who'll be able to create a cure for this disease."
She raised a hoof to wipe the tears away from her little sister's eyes: "I'm so proud of you."
As Rarity watched, there was a flash of light on Sweetie Belle's flank underneath her clothing. She had finally discovered her purpose in life. She had realised what she had been born to do.
"Run," said Rarity, "I'll try to hold them off. I – I'll grab hold of their legs or something. Go."
Sweetie Belle raced off into the Everfree Forest as the last of Rarity's strength failed her.
Ponyville's top fashion designer rose to her feet, reborn as a creature of the night. She had finally succumbed to the disease. She had become… she had… ahem. Excuse me, darling? Pinkie? Am I boring you?
Pinkie Pie had had her eyes closed for the past few minutes, resting her head on her beanbag chair. She sparked up at the sound of her name.
"Oh! Sorry Rarity, I was still listening. It's just, when that pony bit you it gave me a great idea for a story of my own, so I shut my eyes so I could think it all up. I'm still enjoying it. We're all enjoying it, right Fluttershy?"
The yellow pegasus was quivering on the floor, pressing her body up as tightly as possible against her pink friend's seat.
She made several attempts to speak, each time producing little more than a squeak, then cried out: "I don't like zombie ponies! I want to hear Rainbow Dash's story again! I prefer space monkeys, they don't frighten me."
Pinkie Pie gave her a hug to try to calm her down. Applejack had a content smile on her face.
"You got a little caught up in the emotion of your own story at the end there, ah reckon," she said to Rarity, "Ah thought it was quite revealing. Showed what you'd be willing to sacrifice for your sister."
The pair shared a smile but the air of sentimentality was instantly shattered by Dash: "And it had zombies in it! What more could you want?"
"I think we can all agree this one's the best tale of the night so far," agreed Twilight, "But how much more is there, Rarity? It's pretty late and it sounds like you're just getting started."
"Oh, well," the unicorn flicked her purple mane, "This is only chapter one. There's at least another four to go."
She looked at her tired friends, then gave an embarrassed chuckle: "Perhaps I should save part two for another time."
Dash and Pinkie Pie moaned with disappointment while Fluttershy gave a sigh of relief. She'd have to make sure she had other plans for when the next slumber party came around.
"Do you want to go next, Pinkie?" asked Twilight.
"Oh! Not yet. I haven't thought through all the details," she said, "But don't worry, this story is going to be a real doozy. And you're going to play a big part in it, Dashie."
"Really? That sounds cool, I guess," said Dash, smiling nervously.
"Then how's about I take a turn?" said Applejack, standing up, "Ah've got a good 'un here, though ah reckon quite a few ponies will have heard of it already. This tale's called:
Story Of The Blanks
The sun was fading on another day in Equestria. Applebloom had been roamin' in the Everfree Forest for the past couple hours but now she felt it was time to come on home. Before she could…
"Hold on a second," said Twilight, "Why would your little sister be in the Everfree Forest on her own? She knows better than that."
Applejack hesitated: "Well now, this is just the prelude to the story. Doesn't really matter how she came to be there."
"Yes it does. You have to establish these things. If the beginning doesn't make sense, then how can I get into it?"
The orange earth pony grunted with frustration: "Okay, fine. Let's say she got sent there to carry out an errand. Is that better?"
Her friend shook her head: "Who would send a little filly into the forest by herself? It's far too dangerous."
Rarity butted in: "Come on, darling. There is such a thing as artistic licence, you know."
Twilight pouted and settled down in her seat. Applejack looked at her with a raised eyebrow, then decided she had been given permission to continue.
Applebloom trotted along the forest path, eager to get home quickly. It would be night time in a couple hours and she didn't wanna get caught out in the dark.
Suddenly a rustlin' sound caught her attention. She stopped dead in her tracks and took a look round. At first there didn't seem to be anything out there.
Then she caught sightta what it was – there was somepony… aw, Twilight, ah cain't concentrate with you looking all miserable and such.
The purple unicorn realised everypony was staring at her, which made her feel even worse.
She raised her hooves defensively: "I'm sorry, but there are storytelling conventions that you just have to adhere to. I don't understand why Applebloom is in the forest on her own, so I don't know what her motivations are. I just can't buy into it."
"Ya handled Dash's story about space monkeys just fine," said Applejack.
"But she took some time at the start to establish the characters, she didn't just jump straight into the action. This doesn't seem like something Applebloom would do."
"Okay, fine!" the volume of Applejack's voice rose dangerously, "Then how about this: she went on in with you while you were paying a visit to Zecora?"
"But I wouldn't let her come with me. The forest is far too dangerous for a filly her age."
"Y'all are forgetting that Applebloom can be mighty persuasive when she wants ta be. Supposin' she was bored and was desperate for something ta do – she'd plead and plead with ya until you gave up, so you could get some peace and quiet. So how's that, are ya happy now?"
Twilight nodded and Applejack gave a sigh of relief, before continuing with her story.
So Twilight and Applebloom went over to Zecora's place and gave her some books on magic herbs or somethin', then they started to head on home. But along the way they got separated and… lemme guess, I'm gonna haveta put something in about how that happened, ain't I?
Okay, they were travelling' along the main route back when they came across a tree that had fallen in their path. Twilight told Applebloom that she'd need some time to clear the way and warned the little filly to stay close by – oh, what now?
Twilight winced, pressing her back into her chair: "It's just – moving a tree wouldn't take too much effort. It'd take a minute, tops. There wouldn't be time for Applebloom to wander off."
Right. Fine. Twilight moved the fallen tree with her great magical powers and the pair of 'em went on their way.
But just a few yards later they came across a whole buncha fallen trees, maybe 20 or so – they had probably been knocked down by a rampaging Ursa Minor, just to make sure ya don't start asking questions about that – and the brambles surroundin' the path were too thick for them to get through. Twilight had no choice but to slowly move the very, very heavy trees outta the way so they could keep walking. Ah trust y'all are happy with that? Good.
The finickity unicorn told Applebloom to stay close by, and the little filly agreed and went off to look at some of the nearby bugs and critters.
All of a sudden, she FINALLY saw a mysterious-looking grey-coloured pony watching her from between the trees off the side of the path. She called out a greeting but the other pony ran away.
"Ooh! Ooh!" said Pinkie, holding up her hoof, "What was the other pony's name?"
"Consarn it, will you ponies let me tell this story and save the questions for later? You'll find out soon enough, okay?
Applebloom chased after the grey pony, followin' her through the trees until she came across another pathway, right there in the middle of the forest.
Figuring the other pony must have come along this way, she went along the path until she found a sight that she could scarcely believe.
Right there, in the middle of the Everfree Forest, was an entire village filled with ponyfolk. There were several wooden huts, all in good condition, and the residents appeared to be holding some kinda party – don't you even start, Pinkie.
There were banners and bunting and tables fulla food. Everypony seemed to be havin' a great time and Applebloom's initial shock turned to excitement as she realised she may have found a whole buncha new friends to play with.
One of the adult ponies wandered on up to her to her and said: "Hi there little filly and welcome to Sunny Town. My name's Grey Hoof, celebration planner extraordinaire. What's your name?"
"It's Applebloom, sir," said the filly, "What are y'all doin' out here in the Everfree Forest?"
T'other pony chuckled: "Oh, we've lived here for quite some time now. You're welcome to join us for the party, if you like."
It was then that Applebloom noticed something mighty strange about the ponies. None of them, not even the fully grown mares and stallions, had a cutiemark.
"Ooh, I bet they're evil!" grinned Pinkie Pie.
Ah'm trying to tell a story here and y'all keep interruptin' me! It ain't fair. Everypony kept quiet during Dash's and Rarity's story, so ya can do me the courtesy of keeping quiet through mine.
Now, where was I? Right. Applebloom thought this was mighty strange – she'd never seen an adult pony that hadn't got their cutiemark yet, let alone a whole village of 'em. She had to ask. She had to know.
"Hey mister," she said, "How come none of y'all have any cutiemarks?"
Grey Hoof chuckled again and said: "Well there, little missy. That would be on accounta us bein' dead."
And Applebloom was… she was… wait a minute. Oh, consarn it!
Applejack dropped to the floor and buried her face in her hooves. Her friends looked between each other with a mix of confusion and disappointment.
"I'm guessing you weren't supposed to reveal that little detail until near the end, am I right?" asked Rarity.
Her friend just nodded, barely lifting her head. Rainbow Dash groaned: "Aw, I was just starting to enjoy it too."
"Well if you guys hadn't kept interruptin' me and confusin' me, maybe I wouldn't have ruined the ending," Applejack's reply was muffled, her head still down to the floor.
Twilight hopped down from her chair and walked over to her friend: "I'm sorry. It's my fault. I shouldn't have been so quick to criticise, I should have given you a chance to get going."
"I'm sorry too," said Pinkie, "I didn't mean to interrupt, I got overexcited."
Applejack looked up and slowly broke into a grin: "Aw, don't worry none. Ah was just so keen to get into it that I skipped the beginning, then ah got so determined to finish that ah skipped right to the ending. I'm a silly pony."
Fluttershy let out a delicate yawn: "I'm getting ever so tired, Twilight. Do you think we could call it a night?"
Pinkie Pie gave an upset squeak: "But I haven't had a chance to tell my story yet. Please let me tell my story. Please? I promise you won't regret it."
Fluttershy looked up at her friend, furrowed her brow, then said: "Oh, okay. As long as you promise it won't be too scary."
The pink pony grinned: "You'll just have to wait and see. Don't worry though, it'll certainly be memorable – and it's 100 per cent medically accurate too."
“Come on then, Pinkie. Let’s hear this super scary story of yours,” said Rainbow Dash, with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
The pink pony grinned: “Alright! Here we go!”
It was a beautiful sunny day in Equestria and Rainbow Dash was still alive.
She loved being alive, because it meant she could do loads of really neat tricks – like that one where she zips really close to the ground then POW! she zooms right up again, or that one where she spins round and round and goes wee-ooh wee-ooh wee-ooh.
She had a fun morning practising her skills, then remembered she was supposed to be meeting her bestest buddy Pinkie Pie that afternoon. So she flew off into Ponyville, where the pink pony was waiting for her outside Sugarcube Corner.
“Dashie! You made it! Yay!” she squealed, joyously bouncing into the air, “Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun today! I’ve got the oven ready and I’ve brought all of my equipment up from the cellar.”
Rainbow Dash was a little taken aback by just how enthusiastic her friend was – they were just going to be cooking, after all. What was the big deal?
“So, what are we going to making today?” she asked.
Pinkie stopped bouncing and frowned at her with a slightly condescending expression on her face: “What do you think?”
The rainbow-maned pegasus truly had no idea. She followed her friend into the bakery and was astonished by what she saw.
The main serving counter was covered by several plates stacked full of cupcakes! They came in every variety imaginable – so, um, that’s just one really – and they were all coated with delicious-looking icing.
“Wow, you’ve been busy already,” said Dash.
“Yep!” smiled her friend, “And they’re all so wonderfully sweet and tasty! Here, do you wanna try one?”
Dash took a look at the treat that her friend was offering insistently. There was a little decoration of a griffon’s wing on the top, made out of rice paper.
“Um, I thought we were going to be making cupcakes, not eating them,” she said.
Pinkie giggled: “Silly. Somepony’s get to test the first batch to make sure the recipe’s okay. I’ve been very busy this morning, but now you’re here I can make even more. Even better, Applejack and Fluttershy are going to coming round later – when they do, I’ll be able to make enough cupcakes to feed all of Ponyville!”
Dash took the cupcake in her hoof and squinted at it suspiciously. She looked at Pinkie, who nodded at her, indicating she should take a bite.
The blue pegasus lifted the treat to her mouth, ready to chow down. She opened her mouth wide and pulled the cupcake closer… closer… closer…!
“Alright, that’s enough!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, “Stop right there! This has gone too far already!”
Her friends turned in shock, astonished by her sudden outburst.
“Why, whatever’s the matter Dashie?” asked Pinkie Pie, fluttering her eyelashes innocently.
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” she retorted, “Ugh, this story. I can’t tell you how many problems I have with it.”
She took to the air, hovered close to her friend and said: “For a start, this isn’t the least bit scary. I thought you said you had a real doozy of a tale for us – all that’s happened so far is you saying you want to make cupcakes with me. Secondly, why would you invite ME, of all ponies, to help you? Everypony knows I’m the worst baker in Equestria. Lastly, you haven’t even told us what your story’s called.”
Pinkie chuckled: “Of course I haven’t told you what the story’s called yet – that’s just one of the surprises I’ve got planned. It’s a tension-building device. Helps to make it even scarier for everyone.”
“Well, I’m not scared,” huffed Dash, “None of us are. Fluttershy, you’re not frightened are you?”
The yellow pegasus blinked: “Oh. Well, no. It does sound like a lovely story but it’s not scary. Sorry Pinkie.”
“Oh, I know you guys aren’t scared. But I’m sure anyone else listening in is at least just a little bit worried,” replied the pink pony, leaning heavily against the wall.
Dash snorted, then flew a loop in the air to work out some of her frustration. “I was so looking forward to a good, trashy horror story. I thought you’d be able to pull it off. But no,” she said.
Applejack leaped to her hooves and grabbed Dash’s tail with her teeth, pulling her back down to the ground.
“Hey! What gives?” the blue pegasus cried.
“Ah’ll tell you ‘what gives’,” she said, “First mah story gets ruined acuz you ponies keep interruptin’, and now you’re trying to stop Pinkie from telling her story at all! You’re bein’ selfish, Dashie. You’ve had your turn and we sat quietly to listen to yours, so be polite and let Pinkie finish up afore you start tearing into her.”
Rainbow Dash, her hooves firmly back on the ground, looked away and rubbed one of her forelegs against the other, ashamed.
She turned around to Pinkie Pie, contrite: “Aw, Applejack’s right. I’m sorry. I’ll let you finish your story, I know you spent a long time thinking it up. I promise I won’t interrupt again, no matter what happens.”
The pink pony smiled happily, then embraced her friend in a hug: “It’s alright, Dashie. Tell you what, I’m going to make it even scarier than I planned, just for you.”
Dash chuckled heartily as she pulled back away: “That sounds great. Alright, go for it.”
So, where was I? Oh yeah – so Dashie had the cupcake in her hooves and she was about to eat it all up.
She bit into the frosting-coated goodie and chewed – but as she chewed, a slightly perplexed expression formed on her face.
“Pinkie, what’s in this cupcake? It tastes kinda funny,” she mumbled through her mouthful.
“Huh? That’s not right. Cupcakes should taste yummy, not funny,” said Pinkie.
A terrifying thought suddenly struck her and she did a big gasp: “Dash! Don’t swallow that bite! I have to check something out quickly!”
Her friend watched in confusion as she leapt into the kitchen and started rummaging through the cupboards and bins. In a matter of seconds, she had found what she was looking for.
She slammed two flour bags down on the counter, scattering the plates on the floor. One bag was empty, the other quite full.
She scanned the information on the back of the bags, then shouted out a dire warning: “Dashie! You’ve gotta spit out that cupcake! I’ve made a terrible mistake!”
“Mmff?” asked Dash, whose mouthful of food had now melted into a big, gooey mess.
“This is the normal, cupcake-tastic, self-raising flour that I should have used,” she said, tapping her hoof on the full bag before raising the empty one aloft, “But this is the one I used instead – and it’s an entirely different type of self-raising flour! It was created on an ancient zebra burial ground! In short, Dashie – these cupcakes are HAUNTED!”
“Prrrrrrrrrrbbttt,” replied Rainbow Dash, spitting cupcake everywhere, “Haunted? How can this be?”
Her friend made no reply – she was looking at something behind her, something that frightened her beyond words.
The cupcakes were sprouting arms and legs and were pulling themselves out of their cases. Soon an army of about 50 of them had gathered on the kitchen counter, their faceless bodies approaching the two terrified ponies.
Their leader came to the front and pointed an accusing cakey finger at Rainbow Dash: “You ate my grandmother! Prepare to die!”
The two friends looked at each other, scarcely able to believe what was happening. For what had started out as a normal day of baking had suddenly turned into:
The Night Of The Living Cupcakes
Before the two ponies could react, the cupcake army leapt on Rainbow Dash and knocked her to the ground, punching and kicking her with a surprising amount of strength.
Pinkie tried to hit them off her but they retaliated in kind, forcing her to retreat. Dash managed to get her wings free and flew into the air, shaking off her attackers. She swooped down to her friend and they backed away to the rear of the kitchen.
“Looks like we’re trapped,” said Pinkie, watching as the frosting-coated army closed in on them.
Dash leaned forward, raising one of her front hooves in a battle-ready stance: “Then there’s only one thing to do! Are you ready?”
“Am I ever!” grinned the pink pony, “Let’s do this thing!”
The two friends lifted up their front hooves and pressed them together in an epic double bro-hoof, then shouted the magic words: “NINJA PONY POWERS ACTIVATE!”
There was an explosion of smoke and the cupcakes shielded themselves as best they could against the air blast caused by the ponies’ transformation.
When the dust cleared, where there had once been two little ponies now stood the most powerful ninjas in Equestria, clad in black and armed with samurai swords and shurikens. The pair stood upright on their hind legs, back to back and ready for action.
“It is good to fight by your side again, my friend,” said Pinkaninja.
“Yes,” replied Rainbow Dash-san, “But this shall not be our final battle.”
Then they launched themselves into combat and it was TOTALLY AMAZING. Rainbow Dash-san soared through the air, flicking shurikens with deadly accuracy – the spiky metal stars embedded themselves deep in the cupcakes’ bodies, penetrating their sugary heads.
Meanwhile, Pinkaninja was waving her sword about like swish swish swish, slicing her enemies in two with such precision that not one crumb was spilt by a single cut. In almost no time at all, the fight was over. The kitchen was a scene of cakey carnage. The two heroes looked over the room, their faces set with the grim satisfaction of a job well done.
“War is hell,” said Rainbow Dash-san, “How many more must die before ponies realise that making haunted flour is a really bad idea?”
“I’m sure that day will come,” Pinkaninja comforted her comrade, “But for now, I’m just peeved off that we can’t eat the remains.”
Their attention was drawn by a sudden series of slamming noises – the rows of ovens lining the kitchen were bursting open and even more cupcakes were emerging, itching for battle.
But these cupcakes were different from the ones they had fought before. They had been in the oven for too long and had been overcooked, causing them to mutate into even stronger and crispier foes.
Rainbow Dash-san took to the air: “Will this battle never end? Just how many of these foul creatures have you created?”
Her friend looked slightly sheepish: “You were a little late, so I started working on the next batch without you. Um, sorry.”
“No matter! These monsters shall fall just like the rest!” she declared, drawing her sword once more.
Just then, their ninja abilities cut out, reverting them to their original forms. The two ponies looked at each other in horror – they could only tap into their powers once every 24 hours.
Several of the burnt and crispy cupcakes ran over to the sink and attached a length of hose to the tap, before turning on the water full blast. They directed the flow towards the bodies of their fallen brothers – as the water hit, the scattered cake and frosting remnants revived and began to merge together into one giant monster with a great big mouth.
“Change of plan,” said Rainbow Dash, her eyes wide with fear, “Run away!”
The pair fled through the door of Sugarcube Corner and slammed it behind them, much to the surprise of two friends who had been just about to come in. Applejack and Fluttershy had arrived with the intention of helping Pinkie with her baking, unaware of the horrors she had unwittingly unleashed.
“Guys! You’ve gotta run! The cupcakes are too powerful!” gasped the pink party pony.
The door burst open and the monsters emerged, with the largest of them leading the way.
Fluttershy took one look at the situation and didn’t hesitate to act. Reaching under her wing, she unsheathed her trusty dagger and stood up on her hind legs, defiant and proud.
“BACK OFF YOU MOTHERS!” she shouted, “OR DOES FLUTTERSHY HAVE TO SHIV A BITCH?”
“Pinkamena Diane Pie, you watch your language,” gasped Rarity, aghast, “I will not permit any friend of mine to be so uncouth.”
Fluttershy frowned, a little hurt: “Um, Pinkie Pie? I don’t speak like that.”
Oh. Sorry girls, I got just a little bit carried away. Anyway, the cupcakes attacked but Fluttershy was ready. She took three of them out with a single swipe of her dagger – but before she could make a second attack, the giant cupcake grabbed her and lifted her up. It was gonna eat her!
Luckily, Applejack was close by. She whipped out her lasso and it looped around her friend, pulling her to safety in the nick of time.
The orange earth pony then brought out her whip and cracked it on the ground near their enemies’ feet, keeping them at bay.
“Cupcakes. Why did it haveta be cupcakes?” she muttered to herself, using her hoof to keep her hat steady.
The giant cupcake roared and marched forward, its arms outstretched, but then there was a burst of light and it exploded.
Twilight Sparkle stepped forward, her horn still glowing: “What’s going on here? I’m guessing this is Pinkie’s doing, isn’t it?”
Rarity was just behind her – the commotion had by now drawn the attention of everypony in Ponyville.
“Cupcakes? Oh my goodness!” she gasped, then immediately fainted.
The evil cupcakes realised they were outmatched but they had one more trick to play, one more move that would doom all of Equestria.
They began burrowing into the ground, so quickly that nopony could stop them. Within moments they had all disappeared. The town fell silent and the ponies looked at each other, terribly confused. Then there was a rumbling sound, almost inaudible at first but then rising to a mighty roar as the planet itself began to shake.
Apropos of nothing, Princess Celestia swooped into the town just as everypony was beginning to panic.
“It’s the cupcakes, isn’t it?” she said grimly, “I always knew this day would come. Do not fear, everypony – I have planned ahead for just such an emergency.”
Her horn glowed and she performed a spell that demonstrated why she was the ruler of Equestria. In the distance, everypony could see the city and castle of Canterlot growing, shifting, transforming – into a giant spaceship!
With one last ultra-powerful spell, the princess teleported all life on the planet – including the trees and plant life, don’t worry Applejack – onto the gigantic Starship Equestria.
“Space Captain Twilight! Give the order to start the engines! We must leave planetary orbit!” cried Space Princess Celestia.
Space Captain Twilight gave a quick salute and rallied her troops into action. Flames burst from the exhaust of Starship Equestria’s lightspeed boosters and it rocketed away from the ponies’ home planet – and just in the nick of time.
“Um, Pinkie Pie?” said Twilight, but the pink pony was far too engrossed in her story to hear her.
As the ponies watched on in horror, Equestria began to change. Its lands and seas melted into each other, taking on a cakier texture than before, and the ice caps transformed into vanilla frosting. The planet of Equestria had turned into a giant cupcake!
“We have to end this menace here and now, before the terror of cupcakes can spread any further,” said Space Queen Celestia, “Space Ranger Rainbow Dash! We must arm ourselves! Get the artillery crew on the job straight away!”
Space Ranger Rainbow Dash gave a salute and turned to her three finest crew members: “Okay guys, you heard her. Get making explosives on the double!”
The three of them leapt into the air and shouted with joy: “Cutie Mark Crusader artillery experts, YAY!”
Then they fell silent and looked at each other quizzically. After a few moments, Scootaloo stepped forward and asked: “Rainbow Dash, how do you make explosives?”
Luckily, their Space Auntie Pinkie Pie was on the scene. She hopped over to the hapless trio.
“Silly fillies. Making explosives is easy,” she giggled, then broke into song:
“First you’ve gotta take a little bitta gunpowder Add it to the mix Then increase your firepower With a little semtex – don’t flinch! Making these bombs is such a cinch The result will be a thriller Make some more and count to four Then fire them to kill the Cupcakes Those ne’er-do-wells Cupcakes We’ll send them to Hell Cupcakes Cupcakes cupcakes CUPCAKES!”
“Fire!” shouted Space Empress Celestia, and the cannons of Spaceship Equestria boomed mightily as the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ bombs were blasted at their planet-sized target.
“Pinkie Pie,” Twilight tried again but her words fell on deaf ears.
They exploded on impact, creating a hole in the enormous cupcake monster and destroying its structural integrity. It began to cave in on itself, slowly at first but then at a rapid pace until finally it imploded – and then it imploded again!
“Congratulations, Space Auntie Pinkie Pie. Your actions have saved the day,” said Space Goddess Celestia, “You have destroyed the cupcake menace once and for all. Then again, it was you who created it in the first place. You must be punished – so henceforth, you are banned from baking forever.”
“Okie dokie lokie,” said Space Auntie Pinkie Pie, “Now let’s boldly go forth, where nopony has gone before!”
So the ponies of the Starship Equestria blasted off to find new planets and new lifeforms, all in the name of the United Federation of Ponyfolk. They had so many adventures together. Space Captain Twilight seemed to get very friendly with every new alien they met, and one time they met this really strange pony called Q –
“Pinkie Pie!” Twilight shouted at the top of her voice.
That finally caught the earth pony’s attention: “Oh! Hi Twilight, what’s up?”
“Oh lord, where do I even begin?” she said, “I guess the first thing would be how your horror story has somehow turned into a space adventure.”
“Hmm… well, I was really getting into it so I decided to extend it a little. For the past few minutes I’ve been making it up as I go along.”
“Never would have guessed. The second thing would be the fact you said this story would be 100 per cent medically accurate. Admittedly, I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think your tale has any grounding in science.”
Pinkie giggled: “Aw, I know. I just said that to try to frighten everypony.”
“Okay. That’s fair enough,” replied Twilight, “Now I come to the third and most important point: could you get down from my ceiling please?”
Pinkie Pie had told her story with such enthusiasm that when the Spaceship Equestria had taken off, she went so far as to act it out: she’d bounced off Rarity’s chaise longue, off the top of one of the library’s bookcases and up into the rafters of Twilight’s home.
“Oops! Sorry,” she said, “I’ll pop down in just a moment. What did you guys think of the story?”
“That. Was. Awesome,” said Dash, “I got to be a ninja AND a space ranger? Best story ever!”
Rarity sniffed snootily: “Yes. Well. Obviously a lady of class such as myself could never allow herself to get taken in by such a lowest-common-denominator tale.”
“Which means ya did enjoy it but you’re just too ashamed to admit it,” said Applejack, causing her friend to blush.
“It was kinda fun, even if it was so silly,” said Twilight, “The thing I don’t get is this: you took all of the ponies into space but you didn’t make the slightest mention of Princess Luna.”
“You’re always going on about how we need to see more of Princess Luna,” said Dash, “She came round to Ponyville on Nightmare Night, surely that’s enough?”
“I don’t know. I think everypony would like to see her at least once more this season,” said Twilight, with a knowing wink.
Pinkie Pie was less than impressed: “Twilight, I think you’re in my seat.”
It was true: the purple unicorn had taken up residence on her beanbag chair, propped up against the wall. Pinkie hopped down from the roof rafters and the two ponies switched places.
“That’s much better,” she sighed, “Okay Fluttershy, why don’t you tell us a story?”
“Oh, do I have to?” asked the shy yellow pegasus, “I’m awfully tired and I’d like to go to bed. I don’t even know any scary stories anyway.”
“Aw, come on now. Ya won’t know until you give it a shot,” said Applejack.
“Well… all right, but I’m not promising anything. This is a story I once read on the ponynet. It’s called:
‘Til Death Do Us Part.
There are many stories that have stood the test of time and been recounted from generation to generation, but for every one that is remembered there are thousands more that have been forgotten and lost.
Each one of those forgotten tales features a large cast of characters, ponies whose lives weren’t significant enough to even become a footnote of history, but whose lives mattered nonetheless. This story is about the lives of two such ponies.
A long, long time ago, even before Princess Celestia ruled over Equestria, there was a place called Coltonville. Here lived seven young mares who were the best of friends. They shared everything – their experiences, their happiness and their problems.
One of these young mares was named Starlight. She was a sensible, down-to-earth pony with a pink coat and a yellow mane. Her cutiemark was a yellow star with four blue stars, which showed her aspirations to be a teacher. She wanted to be a bright, shining source of knowledge that would illuminate the minds of those smaller than her.
B-but there was something else she wanted. There was a colt who she found ever so handsome – tall, athletic and muscular, some ponies saw him as a jock but she knew he had a heart of gold… oh my, I’m blushing.
A-anyway, his name was Ace and he was in training to become one of the best footballers Equestria had ever seen. In fact, his cutiemark was, well, it was a football. He had a gold coat and yellow blonde hair, and Starlight couldn’t stop thinking about him.
But he had a crush on one of her friends, a mare called Melody who would one day go on to be a rock star. It was nothing more than infatuation but he didn’t realise that. Melody didn’t want him, of course, but he was blind to that, too blind to know that Starlight was the pony for him.
So one day Starlight made a supreme effort to make him notice her. She took part in one of his football games one day, much to his disdain. How could a mare hope to compete?
But she went on to score the winning goal of that match. He was jealous of her achievement at first but that emotion eventually gave way to something else. Once she had gained his respect, he began to take her seriously. He realised how many interests they shared and they became friends, and eventually that closeness led to love.
The wedding was spectacular. Most of Coltonville attended to see the union between the football star and the town’s most respected teacher.
Their vows had been written by Starlight herself: “With all my love, ‘til death do us part, I shall always have control of your heart.”
The happy couple looked forward to their life together, to sharing their dreams and one day raising fillies of their own. Every night, Starlight would go to sleep with the familiar sound of Ace’s breathing right behind her.
But not all dreams come true.
It wasn’t a particularly important match. Ace’s team had already qualified for the championships and the opposing side was a bunch of no-hopers.
Whether it was bitterness or just an honest mistake that led the opposing player to make that hard tackle against Ace was unimportant. The only thing that mattered was the result it had.
Ace’s head hit the ground hard. Normally he should have been able to just get up and shake it off, but a physical shock like that can sometimes have tragic consequences. He never got up from that tackle.
Starlight’s life fell apart. She was inconsolable at the funeral and in the weeks that followed, she turned to drink. Not even her friends could steer her from her self-destructive path.
One night, months after Ace had passed, Starlight drank more than she had ever done before. Her head swimming, her thoughts full of her dear, departed husband, she took to bed.
Her breath was heavy, wheezing. Heavier than normal. At first she put it down to the amount she had drunk but slowly it dawned on her that her breath shouldn’t sound that loud to her.
Tentatively, and not without a little fear, she decided to test her theory. She took one, final breath, then held it.
And the breathing continued behind her. A familiar sound that she had grown accustomed to.
As she lay alone in that bedroom, still not daring to breathe, a male voice whispered directly in her ear: “With all my love, ‘til death do us part, I shall always have control of your heart.”
And then she turned over.
Her body was discovered the next day, still lying in that same bed. Her heart had stopped overnight – not unusual, considering the amount of alcohol in her system.
But there was something unusual about the circumstances she was found in. It was the position of her hooves. She appeared to be trying to hold somepony close to her, in an eternal embrace.
Fluttershy looked around the room, opening her eyes for the first time since she had started her story: “So, um, what did you think?”
Twilight sat. She had been sitting in the same position for the past few minutes, staring blindly ahead, unable to register anything apart from Fluttershy’s story. Twilight sat.
Pinkie Pie’s face was creased up from the effort of stopping her tears from falling: “I’m not gonna cry… I’m not gonna cry…”
Rainbow Dash was the first one to actually say anything outright: “Wow. Was not expecting something like that from you, Fluttershy.”
“I certainly agree,” added Rarity, who was sitting bolt upright on her chaise longue, “It was a good story, darling, but don’t you think it was a little – too – scary?”
“Was it? Oh, I’m sorry,” gasped Fluttershy, “I didn’t realise. I think all ghost stories are scary, so I had no point of reference.”
It was only Applejack who was smiling. She shot her friends a grin and said: “I think y’all are failing to see the sweeter side’a that one. Two ponies destined to be together, one unable to live without the other. You’ve got a romantic heart beating underneath that shy exterior. Ah think you and Big Macintosh are gonna get along just fine.”
The yellow pegasus shied away at that comment, but she quickly overcame her trepidation to share a sweet – if a little embarrassed – smile with her friend.
“Well, I think I need something familiar to shake off that last story,” said Rarity, “Twilight, why don’t you tell us the story of the headless horse again? Send us all to bed with a jump scare instead of nightmare fuel. Twilight? Darling?”
The purple unicorn shook herself out of her stunned state: “Phew. Yes, okay. That sounds like a good idea. Somepony turn the lights low.”
But before they could, something happened. Something that had been inevitable from since the night began. The telephone rang.
“I’ll get it!” shouted Pinkie Pie, seemingly completely recovered from her previous tearful state.
She bounced across the phone and picked up the receiver with her hoof, holding it to her ear: “Hello?”
The voice was female and had a low, guttural quality, like a manticore gargling gravel: “What’s your favourite scary movie?”
“Oh, that’s easy!” she replied, “The Never Ending Story. What’s yours? Hello? Hello?”
There was no reply. Pinkie Pie began to bounce back to her spot but stopped when she saw the terrified look on Rarity’s face.
“P-Pinkie Pie, was there really a voice on the other end of that phone?” she asked.
The pink pony nodded, confused. Rarity pointed to the phone and Pinkie Pie quickly saw what was wrong – it wasn’t plugged in.
“What?” she gasped, “But that’s impossible! If it wasn’t plugged in, then who was… who was…”
“There’s only one way to find out!” cried Rainbow Dash, taking to the air and flying right up to the offending object, “Hey! Phone! Who are you?”
The receiver rose into the air with no visible means of support, stretching the cable out to its full extent. Its voice boomed with malicious intent: “IT IS I! NIGHTMARE MOON! MUUUHAAHAHAHAHA!”
TO BE CONTINUED?
Eeyup.
“Nightmare Moon?” gasped Rarity, “How did you return? And why have you possessed Twilight’s phone?”
Fluttershy let out a yelp and hid underneath Pinkie Pie’s beanbag chair. The pink pony, however, was standing tall and defiant alongside Rainbow Dash, who yelled: “Who cares? This time we’re taking her down, once and for all!”
Applejack cleared her throat to gain their attention, her face the picture of calm: “Ah know y’all are busting to fight Miss Nightmare Moon here, but ah’d like to draw your attention to the purple glow surrounding the phone. The same said glow that’s emanating from Twilight’s horn right now.”
The friends turned around and saw the purple unicorn grinning from ear to ear, extremely satisfied with her little joke.
She broke into fits of giggles: “You ponies must be waaay more tired than I thought! I can’t believe you fell for it!”
Applejack burst out laughing and the other ponies soon joined in, even Fluttershy. Soon the merriment faded away and the six friends all settled back in their chairs, stifling their tired yawns.
“Nice one, Twilight,” said Rainbow Dash, “That was fun. So, what’s that book of yours say is next on the list of stuff to do?”
Twilight used her magic to bring over Slumber 101: all you ever wanted to know about slumber parties but were afraid to ask, and flicked through it.
“Hmm… according to this chapter here, it’s time for…” she slammed the book shut with a grin, “Bed! Goodnight, everypony!”