Dance With Me, Baby!

by Warp Contrast

First published

Bright Garnet doesn't go to parties. He even tried to excuse himself from his own "Welcome To Ponyville" party. This time his friends, the few he's made, drag him out to one.

Bright Garnet doesn't go to parties. He even tried to excuse himself from his own "Welcome To Ponyville" party. This time his friends, the few he's made, as good as drag him out to one. He didn't figure he would need a wingmare, but he's glad he has one... just this once.

I recommend listening to boy pablo's "Dance, Baby!" as it largely inspired this story and is fantastic.

Cover art by Tehflah.

Sitting In The Corner

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I hate parties. I can't stand being stuck around all of those ponies. I don't know any of them, they aren't my friends. I don't do well with strangers, if I'm honest. I've gone to a few parties before, but I never saw the point. I've only got a few friends, the ones I've known since school, way back when. They keep harassing me about things, trying to get me to go out, meet someone new, maybe a special somepony, even. I just shake my head awkwardly and change the subject if I can.

I haven't really told you who I am, have I? Bright Garnet. That's my name, I mean. I'm a unicorn. Sorta between stocky and thin? It's weird. My coat is a sort of reddish brown, though it used to just be red, when I was younger. My mane, sorta like an off-color dark brown? It's always been sorta hard to pin down, though it might just be me, I suppose. My eyes have always been this brilliant red, though. If nothing else, I have that. I grew up in Ponyville, though I left after I was done with school cause I felt like there was more to the world. Not that there wasn't, I was just a little too afraid of everyone to actually see it, so I just came home. I wouldn't say I'm as bad as some, but I dread talking to folks. Thank god for my friends though. When I came back, they were the only reason I was able to find a job and able to sort of get settled again. Even two years might have been too much time to be away from home, so many things have changed around here...

Tonight, my friends decided to team up against me and dragged me out against my will to go to a party with them. Not that I hold it against them, it's not the first time, after all, but oh...

...oh Celestia...

Why? Because I've been stagnating, they say, because I haven't been talking to anyone but them since middle school and they were going to do something about it. I don't say anything as I'm levitated there, Bulk holding the rear, making sure I don't get away even if I get dropped, a unicorn to either side, holding my legs up. We must look pretty weird, like this, and that does nothing to help me here. Thanks to Lyra, that utmost nuisance, my best friend, I'm being carried through Ponyville like some kind of prisoner of war. Maybe I can just sit this out? Hold off in the corner? Maybe...

Obviously, it doesn't take long to get there. It's Ponyville. I think the furthest house is maybe a mile out of town, and even that might be a stretch. They plant me down on the ground and Lyra gives me one of those weird, confident looks she always has when she thinks she's on to something, like that time she thought she found actual evidence of those weird, like, ape minotaurs.

"Bright, you know why you're here. Call it an intervention, call it torture, it doesn't change what's happening here, tonight," she says confidently, like she's practiced this speech. "We're here to find you somepony new, somepony you've never met before. We're here to expand your circle of friends, but most importantly, we're here to have fun and enjoy the night!" It's like she's never met me. I do enjoy the night, I have games and things. It's not like I just sit at home and do nothing all the time.

Except I do.

Like, all the time. I just sleep. I know she's right, though I would never admit it, so I just stay quiet until we get inside. This is somewhere I haven't bothered going in a while, Sugarcube Corner. I used to come here with my friends just about every Saturday or so. Thankfully, no sign of Pinkie Pie, yet. I appreciate the effort, but I really don't want to be anywhere near her most days. She's always just a little... much. The only Element Bearer I've met and, if that's how they all are, I'm not enthusiastic to meet the rest.

I find a drink, some hard cider, and find my way to the corner to sit another party out. I do this every time, much to the chagrin of my good pals. Hopefully I can space out within a few minutes. Last time it took forever, everypony bumping into me and snapping me out of it. I'm just kind of staring at the crowd, silently cursing my fear of talking to other ponies, when I see her. It's just for a second, but I'm struck by her in an instant. White coat, purple mane, gorgeous sapphire eyes looking my way as the crowd splits for just a moment. I've never seen her before, never met her. I can't believe I never have. How could I miss her? I can't just sit down, I have to say something, do something. I need to meet her. I hunt down Lyra as soon as I can, I need a wingmare, and thankfully I might have one.

"Lyra, thank Celestia I found you!" I gasp, a little winded from weaving and dodging through the crowd to find her. "I need your help!"

"No, I'm not taking you home, you're not getting off this easily," She says with a smirk, though that expression quickly shifts to one of confusion. "Wait, need my help? Why?"

"I've met somepony, or seen somepony, whatever. Point is, there's this mare, and I have to meet her, but I need your help," I plead, hoping she's still as enthusiastic to help me as she seemed when she brought me here. That mare is always prone to flights of fancy, always so eclectic. She just jumps ship on one project to find something new, often not finishing what she's started. It's a wonder she and Bon Bon have stayed together so long. She's happy, though, and there's no way I'd rather she be. "So, will you help me?"

Get Up And Move

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"Dude! You're crushing on Rarity? That's hilarious!" Lyra says, snickering despite trying to hold back for a moment. "That's a hard target, bud. You're going to have a tricky time landing that one."

I put a hoof to my forehead, frustrated. "I know, I know, but I can't not try, though. There's something there and I can feel it, I just know it," I state, obviously just a little worried at this point. "Weren't you the one who said I should try to find somepony at this party?"

"Well, yeah, but a bucking Element of Harmony? That's who you choose? You've got high standards for a guy who spends his whole life inside," she says, not realizing for a moment how rude that was. She then relents when she sees how I'm glaring at her. "Not that you're a bad-looking guy or that you aren't nice to be around, I just figured, you know, that you would try to have more experience socializing first. Diving in and shooting for the top is nice and all, but jumping in like this with no prior knowledge seems like a bad idea.”

"I see where you're coming from, I get it, but I have to try, and I need your help, okay?" I plead, knowing she would relent if I kept it up. Any opportunity to find me somepony, anypony to hang out with that isn't Lyra seemed like a good choice to her at the moment. "I have a plan, if that helps. I'm not going in blind."

"Okay, then what's your plan, if you have such a mastery of social graces already?" she taunts, an eyebrow cocked.

"I will, oh, ye of little faith," I say, quickly growing quiet as I think over my plan and realize just how flawed it really is. "Well... I guess I just figured after I got you on my side you would just go and work some of that "social butterfly" magic on her and everything would sort of sort out from there..?" I smile sheepishly, realizing just how dumb that sounded. I really didn't think this through. I inwardly cringe, knowing that Lyra would surely just turn me away, knowing how utterly I failed already.

"Okay, just one thing. Your plan bucking sucks. Like, seriously," she says, almost frowning despite herself. Suddenly her expression brightens and she gives me that smirk again, confident as ever. "Luckily, you've got me, so I'm sure we can do something about this crush of yours. First things first, the swagger. A girl like her will never go for a guy who has no confidence, and your walk reeks of self-loathing." She quickly directs me to stand straight, keep my nose just slightly up and hoofs me a pair of shades, "for effect." I feel goofy as buck, half staggering as I'm not at all used to such a weird walk. I'm not used to any of this, really. I feel stupid.

"Is this really necessary? I say, turning back just in time for her to blind me with her camera as she snaps a photo of "Douchebag Bright." As soon as I realize what she's done, I get red-faced, well, redder-faced, in embarrassment. I realize that this is definitely coming back to bite me in the ass later. I whip off the sunglasses and walk almost normally, and she walks over and shows me the picture. I realize just how goofy I really looked and I can't help but laugh. With that, the tension of that embarrassment and the party releases in an instant. "Hey. Okay. What? What was that all about even?"

"I figured you could use a stress reliever for a second, so I made you put on some stupid shades and walk around like an idiot so you could loosen up a bit," she says, an earnest smile on her face. " Now, let's try keeping that cool for a little while. Let's not rush in like a couple of dumbasses, here, and make a plan. Like, a proper plan that isn't garbage, like yours was." She laughs for a moment and I can't help but chuckle. I really do feel better, even taking a ribbing like I normally would instead of just getting more and more frustrated like earlier. I nod and move a little closer to the scene, checking things out and seeing what, exactly, we're dealing with. There are lots of guys around her, most of them looking like the picture you would see in the dictionary next to the word "asshat." I also see the little dragon that lives at the castle with Princess Twilight and... Bulk? What's he doing there? I try to get his attention for a moment and he actually sees me, coming towards us. We group up and get to a quieter place to talk.

"Bulk, please don't tell me you have a thing for her, too...?" I ask, worried about having to compete with one of my few friends before he waves one of his hooves at me as if to wave off my worries.

"Dude, no, I was, like, right next to you guys pretty much the whole time you were explaining the situation to Lyra so I went and scouted it out for you. Just being a bro for my bro, y'know," he says, smiling assuredly at me. Definitely the bro-est bro that has ever bro-ed. "Besides, if I were after her, I would've told you the second you mentioned it was her you were crushing on." It only just strikes me that I didn't notice him at all when I was talking to Lyra. Weird. He seems like he would kind of stand out in a crowd, to say the least. "Now, let's make a plan! YEEAAHH!"

"Ah, dude. Jeez, chill. I don't think that kind of energy is necessary here. Though your enthusiasm is appreciated," Lyra says, taking her hooves from her ears where she jammed them moments ago. "Now, I think I have a decent plan, but it's going to need... a gentle touch. We're going to need to make you a gentleman."