Somepony tries to pit Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon to fight. Nurse Bandaid goes to his mother for octagon training. Twilight Sparkle is running Canterlot all by herself. Celestia begs Cadance to help her find a new companion. (Part 3 of a Series)
An unknown villain tries to pit Princess Nightmare Moon and Queen Chrysalis into another battle. Nurse Bandaid is caught in the middle. All the while Celestia is distracted with personal matters and Court Vizier Twilight Sparkle must try to run Canterlot on her own. Discord is unaccounted for, but he loves his sisters dearly. Who is pulling the strings of conflict between the five Children of Faust?
Nightmare Moon rushed up the spiraling stairs of the tower, shouldering a massive silver mace as she did so. In her wake, a trail of dead changeling soldiers and servants to the crown. Ahead of her, her beloved in waiting. Stained with the orange blood of the enemy, she tore past slitted window after window, panting as she galloped wildly higher. Spitting a coppery taste from her mouth, she hefted her weapon when she reached the sturdy wooden door. It blasted to pieces before her fury, spraying the stone and carpet floor with debris. “Bandaid!” she cried, eyes darting about. Bandaid stood on the stone balcony handrails, wearing a massive tattered black cape. It billowed in the phantom breeze of the late night badlands, twisting about like a whisp of cloud. The black medallion Nightmare had given him all that time ago still hung on his chest. He looked frightened, disheveled and sweaty. What had she been doing to him?! Chrysalis had a simple wing sword pressed to the nape of his neck. Hovering there with her massive wings buzzing, she threatened to send him over the edge with only a gesture. Nightmare paused, angrily assessing and glancing about. “How many times must we dance this dance, sister?!” The black mare shouted, hefting her weapon. “How long ‘til you understand my fury, and stay from my heart?!” She gestured to Bandaid, who gave a loud whimper when Chrysalis landed on the balcony handrail next to him.
The structure shuddered. Chrysalis was time and a half bigger than he. He chanced a glance over his shoulder. The sheer drop was hundreds of feet to the courtyard below. The hundreds of onion-shaped buildings below beckoned. “I never touched him this time! You're tresspassing on my lands!” Chrysalis said angrily.
“Having thy servants mare-handle him is no different!” Nightmare spat, taking a step forward. Chrysalis threatened further and Bandaid wavered wildly where he stood. The black mare stopped, gasping as he teetered on the edge.
“Perhaps you’d like to tell me why your stallion is here in the middle of the Badlands capital?! Is he spying on me?!” Chrysalis demanded. “Tell me, before I send him over the edge!”
“N-Nightie, help me!” Bandaid said in a quavering voice. “I-I-I can’t take heights like this!” He leaned forward to steady himself and a long line of red started down his front. “Ouch…” he whimpered.
“Speak!” Chrysalis demanded angrily. “What are you two doing here?!”
“Enough of your games!” Nightmare shouted. Hefting the massive morning star to one side, she took a single step then launched herself wildly forward. The black burst of speed spanned her wings. Chrysalis swung her sword with a shout, and Bandaid could only fling himself backward or die. He careened over the edge and into open air. The moon encircled him for but a moment, a black shape on her pale face... before he fell. An arc of Nightmare’s horn magic met Chrysalis’ strike, stunning them both. The Night Goddess tumbled cartoonishly over the side and off the balcony with a loud string of curses. The Changeling Queen dashed herself to the edge, peering over as the two figures raced to the ground below. She shouted curses after them, hoping they would crash to the ground and die.
Bandaid screamed and flailed all about, tumbling end over end as the floors of the mighty changeling palace flew past him in a blur. The ground was rushing up to meet him, oh gods. Tears escaped the sides of his eyes as the wind whipped by. Nightmare finally gained control of herself and angled her wings. Folding herself into a bullet shape she streaked towards him with all her might. Balconies whizzed by, confused changeling onlookers peering after them as they flew past. Horrifically, Bandaid struck the side of the tower, blasting off pieces of brown plaster as he went. He yelped like a mare, stunned and bleeding from the head. Nightmare gritted her teeth, lighting her horn to put on a burst of speed. Her wings screamed in protest, the air of speed shrieking in her ears. She flattened herself, pulling her legs up under her carriage. “C’mon c’mon c’monnn…!” she growled through her gritted teeth and fangs.
Bandaid fell back-down belly-up. He looked up at her diving after him, silent and pleading. Droplets of blood seemed to hover in the air around him. He reached for her with a seemingly tiny hoof, begging with his tear-streaked face. Save me. Save me Nightie, his eyes said. The ground rushed up to meet them both.
Red, glittering magic suddenly seized Bandaid from the air, slowing him. Nightmare’s wings flared so quickly she almost backflipped. She struck the ground and shattered the tiles with her mighty hooves, sending spiderweb patterns in all directions. Bandaid hung motionless, battered but alive, in midair. Nightmare’s head snapped hawkishly from one side to the other. Where-?!
A black stallion emerged from shadow, gleaming with silver vestments. His red eyes flicked skyward from which they’d come. Chrysalis was flying down as quickly as her buzzing wings would carry her. “Lord Sombra…?” Bandaid said airily, then passed out from stress and pain. When the stallion limpened, Sombra lowered him gently to the ground and released the hold of his magic. He growled wordlessly, already seeing the battle that was about to interrupt his late-night stroll.
Nightmare rushed to Bandaid without thinking, coddling him up into her arms. She pulled his limp head to her breast. “Oh dear one! Dear, dear one!” she nearly wept over him, and almost didn’t hear Chrysalis landing nearby.
“Well done, Sombra,” Chrysalis said shortly, lifting her wing sword. Her massive hooves clitter-clopped as she rapidly approached Nightmare Moon from behind. “I would hate to have them both dash on the ground and rob me of the pleasure of killing them both myself!” She pressed the tip of her weapon painfully into her sister’s back. “Last chance, what brought you into the Badlands?! Be quick, before I end you both!” The fact that Nightmare Moon was a goddess like herself had temporarily escaped her, it seemed. She was so caught off guard by the sudden attack, the sudden burst of violence that had sent her entire castle into an uproar, she was beside herself. Over a year of absolute isolation had done wonders for her temper, but this insult was too much! How dare Nightmare Moon and her idiot boy toy invade her home so brazenly?!
Sombra frowned in a troubled way, looking skyward to the tower they’d fallen from. Then at the scene before him. It was no secret Bandaid was Queen Chrysalis’ favorite kidnapping victim as of late, but not in over a year had she left the city or sent any agents into Equestria (that he was aware of). His jowls lifted a little to expose the fangs beneath. Something wasn’t adding up. Bandaid was frightened of this entire country, and Nightmare Moon would not bring him here for risk of releasing his… well… temper tantrums. When at last somepony spoke, it was Sombra. “My queen, I do not think Princess Nightmare or Nurse Bandaid are here by choice,” he said. His voice was deep and syrupy, like mahogany wood. Chrysalis gave pause for but a moment, and that was all he needed. “She would never bring him here, and you obviously didn’t snatch him or he would’ve been surrounded by guards before Nightmare’s arrival. To keep him from being fed on.”
The scene seemed to stop for a moment. Chrysalis looked at Sombra incredulously, then to Nightmare, then back to him. It didn’t add up. She didn’t like it when it didn’t add up. “How did an earth pony arrive in the top room of the highest tower before Nightmare arrived to start slaughtering my guards and hoofservants?” Her large eyes narrowed and she slowly lowered her weapon from Nightmare’s bleeding back.
Nightmare Moon slowly stood, Bandaid on her back, her mouth a neutral line. There was a long, pregnant silence. The two sisters stared at each other’s eyes, looking for lies or deceit or even a measure of mischief. Neither could find it in the other. Only indignant anger and confusion. “Something is wrong…” Nightmare said, slowly relaxing her stance. Bandaid’s weight shifted and she leaned to compensate.
Chrysalis gave her wingsword a quick swing to fling the blood from it, and sheathed it under a wing. Her teeth and fangs were clenched in anger. “Who would dare try to trick we gods?!” she demanded. She looked to Sombra, but his look said he didn’t know.
“You two are like huge, angry magnets,” Sombra said with a troubled growl, “The better question, my Queen, may be… who wants the two of you fighting?” the black stallion touched a hoof to his bristled chin.
“Celestia!” Chrysalis blurted.
“Neigh,” Nightmare scowled, “Celestia is visiting the Alpacastan as we speak for diplomatic reasons…” she trailed off before she betrayed too much.
“Both Princesses out of the country at the same time?” Chrysalis puzzled with a frown. “That’s rare indeed…” she stopped to take a cleansing breath and rid herself of the battle panting she’d taken up since catching Bandaid in her castle-palace.
“…Discord?” Sombra offered. Both Goddesses fixed him with an angry look. “Perhaps not,” he quickly amended, turning his ears apologetically back. Their brother was rarely accounted for, but he would not do such a thing to stir the pot of conflict.
A low hum began to fill the air around them. Chrysalis’ ears perked as a group of drones began to emerge from the palace and side streets to fill the courtyard. Armed with spears and crossbows they made a big ring about the mosaic design of the area, buzzing and clicking like gigantic ants. They clicked and buzzed in the changeling tongue, waving their weapons threateningly until Chrysalis lifted a hoof to silence them. A captain with a red bandanna about his neck came forward, buzzing and then saluting. “Count your number, there may be some outside agent among us,” Chrysalis spoke in the common tongue to him. He bowed low and turned to obey. “I don’t enjoy your presence any more than dog shit on my carpets,” the Queen told Nightmare Moon. “Take him and flee from here. I will visit soon to discuss this… incident, further.” The black mare made a face. Queen Chrysalis visiting Equestria would not be pleasant, but… Nightmare didn’t need to be told twice.
While she was immortal, dearest Bandaid was most certainly not. She could not protect him from so many. Slowly lowering her head and closing her wings, she backed off. She walked backward, eyes never leaving Sombra or Chrysalis, until she was outside the ring of changeling soldiers. She did not speak her thanks to Sombra for saving her beloved, merely stared at him. She would need to send him a boon, when time and circumstance allowed. Nightmare would not forget this day. This savage head-butting between them had been all too easy for whomever had actually taken Bandaid. If not a Changeling, then… whom?
*****
Princess Celestia boarded the train, positively scarlet in the face. Her private pair of guards politely brought her ice water and thin wafers for the trip before leaving her in peace. Her mane hanging over her eyes and muzzle, she contemplated what she’d said right in the middle of the senate. The people of Alpacastan were very fond of their truth-telling spells. The entire layout of their primary government building was shaped like a truth rune. With a spell that size none could resist it. They thought it helped their government go straight and true. But, any visiting diplomat had to guard their tongue. Even a visiting Goddess and Child of Faust like herself.
Celestia took a long drink of the ice water and pressed the glass to her cheek as though it would banish the color from it. Many onlookers outside the train waved goodbye with handkerchiefs and confetti, seeing off the strange foreign princess. The alpacas of Alpacastan were a loud, fluffy, boisterous people and they thought she was simply the strangest thing they’d ever seen. Whoever had heard of a giant horse princess? She was huge, too, they’d said. (Apparently ponies came in different sizes— and she was a jumbo!)
They’d asked her how she felt. No context, just there in the middle of the meeting. No doubt they were referring to the current discussion, but she’d been checking her notes on the three-way mountain passage between Equestria, Alpacastan and the Crystal Empire. She’d spoken her answer without thinking, without measuring, without anything of the sort. The silence she’d received in return was all it took for her to excuse herself. But the blush didn’t leave her face after that meeting, nor the next day when the meetings continued. Those three small words… why, why had she said such a thing to foreign diplomats, in a foreign country?! They treated her gently after that. None of them would raise their voices to her, and none of them did much more than acknowledge her vote or opinion in matters after that. If Princess Celestia Cosmos Equiness had such things on her mind, she was not to be trifled with so cruelly as with the dance and duel of international politics. Not now, at least. Treat her like she’s pregnant, she’d overheard one squire saying to another.
The Day Princess took another long drink of ice water, and called for wine. She needed something a bit heavier if she was going to calm down. She didn’t mind the worried gaze of the mare serving her as she drained the first glass and asked for another before she’d even moved away. “Thank you,” she offered, setting the second glass pensively in front of her. It was a deep, fruity wine that smelled of hot dragonberries. The not-quite-a-fruit-drink kind that made most aristocrats snort and roll their eyes. Hours went by before the northern mountains began to crawl into view. She looked northward, towards the Crystal Empire. Would Cadance…? She… she would help, wouldn’t she? Yes. Yes there was no doubting her sister to the north. Licking her lips and letting the wine give her courage, the white alicorn stood and gave the servant’s bell rope a firm tug. When a servant appeared, she spoke. “Tell the conductor we are changing routes,” she said gently. “We make for the Crystal Empire.”
“Yes your highness,” it wasn’t a question. He turned after bowing and made for the front of the train. After a few minutes, the Princess felt the train jolt with new speed. The de-icing panels were opening on the outside of the train cars. They were feeding more coal into the engine. The fires blazed as it was opening up for a fast charge forward. The windows began to magically slide closed and tint themselves. The firefly lamps turned on, lighting the cabin areas. The metal sheets slid over the windows to protect from the coming cold. The front of the locomotive slowly sprouted a spiraling spike. If there was ice or snow on the tracks, nothing would stop her majesty’s train from making it all the way north.
WHOOOOO WHOOOOOOO!!!
The massive machine screamed as it rounded the curve of a hill. Just before it turned all the way north into the mountains, a messenger pegasus leaped from it and into the open air. She powered south to let Canterlot know Celestia was taking a detour.
A tunnel howled past Celestia’s window and she leaned back in her seat. Too late to turn back now, they’d already taken the tracks towards her sister Cadance’s home. She looked out over the trees as the hours went by. They slowly turned white, then became fewer in number, then vanished entirely. A day and a half gave Celestia plenty of time to groom, relax and try to put her three important words into many before she came to Cadance’s august presence. She would’ve sent a messenger ahead, but she had no dragon for smoke mail, and she had no pegasus that could fly faster than a train could go.
When the spires of the Crystal Empire slowly came into view, the train screamed twice again to warn them of their approach. When the train pulled into the station ponies scattered this way and that in confusion. A royal visit?! Why hadn’t they been told?! They weren’t ready to receive someone as important as Princess Celestia! The white alicorn took a deep breath and stepped off the train, flanked by her twelve honor guards and sporting a white scarf about her long alicorn neck. She gave polite smiles, but did not stop to speak to anypony. She did see the fast-flying messenger pegasus dashing towards the palace like her life depended on it, though. Cadance would have maybe twenty minutes before she arrived at the Crystal Palace.
Technically, the Crystal Empire was an independent city-state, but it lay within Equestria’s northern borders and shared her military. Celestia had always treated it as Cadance’s property and nothing less. Well, save that one time she’d chased Discord into the very heart of the palace and caused all that mess. Celestia felt her heart quicken in embarrassment as she strode forward. She’d not visited since and she’d not sent an apology letter either. There was no polite way to say ‘sorry I destroyed part of your home while I tried to kill our brother’, after all. The city sprouted up about her rather quickly as she strode down the glassy sidewalk and towards the palace proper. Ponies gave her and her guards a wide berth, none daring to stop them or even slow them down.
It was His Majesty Shining Armor that met them at the drawbridge with a puzzled frown. Celestia sighed inwardly. The poor stallion had been in the room during her tussle with Discord. “Princess Celestia, this is… unexpected,” he said politely, standing firmly between her and the archway of the courtyard. She stopped near to him. He’d planted his hooves. His face spoke volumes; he was not happy to see her. “My wife is in the throne room, I will escort you.” His tone and the crossbow ponies on the wall said to leave her guards behind. She did so with grace, bidding them to rest in the nearby businesses or eateries if they wished. “To what do we owe this unexpected visit?” Shining Armor asked with the same neutral politeness as they crossed the threshold into the Crystal Tower atrium.
“I’m here to see my sister and ask her advice,” Celestia said truthfully.
“Oh?” Shining Armor said. Their hoofsteps echoed as they passed hearth after hearth in the hallways, none more than fifty feet apart, all of them chewing on long logs.
“Yes,” she left it at that. This didn’t please him.
“My wife and I are understandably caught off guard. You haven’t visited us since-!“
“--And for that, I am sorry, Prince Shining Armor,” Celestia said quickly. “I have not been a good sister or neighbor lately.” She watched his expression agree with her, but he said nothing aloud. “I seem to have a bad habit of showing up at my sister’s door when things are wrong with me.”
“Are you sick?” Shining Armor said, looking up at her with a startled expression.
“No, I am… erm…” Celestia couldn’t find a good word without blurting it out, and fell silent for a time. “I need my sister’s council,” was all she finally said. “And nopony else’s.”
The grand double doors awaited them, and the guards were startled by the alicorn’s presence. They almost tripped over themselves to seize the rings and pull the doors open for her. They groaned with all their might, each weighing massively on the pony pulling them. Pink. Pink everywhere. Pink and purple and lots of gold. Cadance had never been shy about her decorating tastes. Jubilant shades of red and crystalline designs lauded over everything about the room. The columns, the stained-glass windows, even the dais of the throne.
Cadance lay like a bird on a nest, on a massive scarlet pillow. Celestia cleared her throat, standing in the doorway. Shining Armor abandoned her there, stepping across the massive room and up the dais stairs. He nuzzled his wife a few times, leaning to whisper to her. The white alicorn waited, then spoke aloud for ceremony, “Hail Cadance, Princess of the Crystal Empire and all her holdings, Goddess of Love!” She gave a long dip of the neck, spreading her white wings about the floor in greeting. The servants and posted guards murmured to each other in approval, more than a little placated. Everypony there was privy to Celestia’s last… "visit".
“And to you too, my sister Celestia,” Cadance lifted a hoof with a flippant motion. She stood from her royal seating pillow with all the liquid grace of a snowy mountain cat. The squires, servants, and even Shining Armor scattered from her path when she started slowly forward. What was that look in her eye? Something between intensity, annoyance, and… patience? Like a mother waiting for an apology, Celestia realized. The slow clip-clip-clip-clop of her hooves echoed across the now silent chambers of the crystal throne room. The quiet intensity followed the goddess of love as she descended the dais to the level of the carpets.
There was a quiet hum of magic and electricity between the two goddesses. The usual shields were already in place. Discord had reversed gravity on the planet, and Celestia had imprisoned him in stone for an age. Nightmare Moon had tried to bring about night time eternal, and had been sealed in the moon for one thousand years. Chrysalis had been skinned alive (and outright murdered). Now only Cadance remained to commit some sin that Celestia might try to punish her for. It always hung in the air between them, even in happy times. Cadance tried to distance herself for it. But, at the moment, she had the social upper hoof. The goddess of love stopped before the goddess of the sun. The room was as quiet as a tomb.
Everypony waited.
Finally it was Celestia who bent. “I’m sorry for… for what I did during my last visit,” she said quietly, lowering her head. The servants murmured again. Shining Armor glared them to silence with a light harrumph. “I blamed Discord for my beloved’s death and saw only him, not you and your home.” Her ears turned back and she leaned into an apologetic bow. “If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you-!”
“Apologizing in front of my husband and all my little ponies is enough,” Cadance’s icy exterior finally broke, and the temperature of the room rose a bit. She gave a warm smile. “Be welcome, sister.” She leaned and embraced her taller sibling, wings and all. “Oooooommm-MMPH!” she said with gusto into the hug. Everypony in the room relaxed at last, watching Celestia sigh in relief. “But tell me, what brings you to my empire?” she turned and started walking conversationally. “Is Chrysalis acting up again?”
“Oh no, no this was on a whim… sort of,” Celestia admitted, scratching one fetlock and looking at the floor suddenly. “I wanted to ask your council and advice on… matters,” she said carefully.
Cadance looked interested, “Please, share with me, I’ll help if I can.”
“Do you remember Mountain Blood?” Celestia tasted his name for the first time in ages.
The pink alicorn gave a long and startled pause, “Of course, that gem of a stallion made you the happiest I’d ever seen you. I couldn’t forget head-over-hooves Celestia!” she smiled, but then the smile fell when she saw the rather sad puppy dog-eyed look she was being given. “That was hundreds of years ago, though, why do you bring him up?”
“I…” Celestia fumbled for the three words that she’d blurted under the truth spell in Alpacastan. So many servants and others were staring at her, and her wings fluttered a little bit in embarrassment. “I am… lonely,” she finally got the words out.
Cadance fell silent, staring into Celestia’s face. Without blinking, she gave a snap of her hoof onto the marble floor. The servants positively fled until only the pair of them, plus Shining Armor, remained in the massive throne room. “You’re done mourning,” Cadance whispered in awe, studying her sister’s face very closely. Celestia felt the lump rising in her throat, and she gave a silent nod. “You’re done mourning him?” she whispered again. Celestia nodded again.
“W-will you… would you…?”
“Yes, absolutely yes,” Cadance nodded with a slowly growing smile. “But you must do something for me in return.”
“Name it,” Celestia said, finally able to breathe with the massive weight off her shoulders.
“Burn your ships,” Cadance said with a soft, kind smile. “When you’re ready to start completely fresh, bring me the ashes,” she said.
Celestia knew what she meant. She didn’t want to admit it, but she knew exactly what Cadance wanted. “But… his portrait is all I have left to remember him by,” Celestia said softly.
“And he will continue to be fondly remembered, but if you want a new relationship, you cannot cling to that picture anymore,” Cadance said. “If you want my help, that is my price.”
“I understand,” Celestia whispered, her face falling a bit. “I’ll contact you soon.”
“Starting a new chapter of your love life is never easy, don’t do it until you’re ready,” Cadance bade her, leaning and hugging her in earnest. “I’m the goddess of love, I know these things!” She sent Celestia away after that, and back onto her train. It would be a long ride home for the Princess of the Sun.
Court Vizier Twilight Sparkle sat confidently upon the throne of Canterlot, the seat of power in Equestria. With her golden circlet, divine-given authority and a small scepter hooked into her grasp, she held court over the masses in the absence of her adoptive mother Celestia. “And with that, the declaration passes the department of health, the department of safety, and the department of correctional facilities!” she smiled gaily, tapping her scepter in the place where Celestia usually tapped her massive hoof to make things official. The three national department heads bowed to her, then shook hooves, then bowed to her again and turned to go.
Twilight sighed long and loud, wiping her brow and looking rather pleased with herself. Thanks to Celestia’s suggestions, Nightmare Moon’s bookings, and some political creativity of her own, she’d just made headway on something great! “Quick Quill?” she asked the royal scribe, who snapped to attention. “Mark that from our schedule for me? I’m sure Princess Celestia will be pleased to see that missive pass those three departments in the short time she was gone.”
“It’s a good idea!” Quick Quill said, her pen dancing on the page. “Ponies sitting in jail able to volunteer for public service to shorten their sentences? I’m sure they’ll love to get up and stretch their legs and muscles.”
“Better contributing to society than sitting miserable in a concrete box for years at a time,” Court Vizier Sparkle nodded officially. “If we’re lucky, we’ll have that stone road Princess Celestia wants from Canterlot to Apploosia in just a few years!” she allowed herself a little tippy-tap-hoofy-dance, giggling. “Just think of the economic stresses that’ll be relieved with such a secure route!” She shuffled busily through her papers, having accomplished something rather large. “If prisoners build it, not only will the country save money on wages, but they’ll emerge from prison with work experience and hit the ground running to get jobs when they’re freed!” She couldn’t stop smiling. Reaching up, she touched her golden circlet to make sure it was still on straight. She coughed twice to draw attention to herself. “And with that I will declare the Noon Day Court complete for today, good job everypony!” Guards nodded, servants and states-ponies filed out while chattering amongst each other. “Quick Quill, would you come with me?” she stepped off the throne and down the dais.
“Yes, Vizier Sparkle,” Quick Quill trotted happily after her, paper and scrolls hovering along after her.
“I’m sure you already know Princess Celestia was delayed for a few days, so I’m going to be sorting the court for a few more days than we thought,” Twilight said conversationally. “I’d like to see representatives from the royal guardpost distribution department tomorrow.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. The word of a local guard petition is that the work can be boring if they stay in one spot for too many shifts,” Twilight set her scepter on a pillow a waiting servant was holding. She thanked and smiled at him. “I’d like to entertain the idea of a cylindrical guardpost wheel, so that everypony can see different places every pay cycle or so.”
“Cylindrical?” Quick Quill wondered aloud as she wrote the proper notes for scheduling.
“Yes, that’s to include our armored pegasi,” Twilight said. “Different stages of elevation, and such.”
“Oh yes, of course,” Quick Quill didn’t quite understand. “It… sounds like a lot of paperwork.”
“I will help devise a name calendar and post distribution system,” Twilight said, nodding officially. “We only have to do it once, and then it will run itself as long as you feed it names.”
“Like a… lottery system?” Quick Quill wondered.
“Oh yes, that’s a good comparison!” Twilight said, nodding in agreement. “It might be exciting to draw one’s name, then reach out and take a ball from a huge vat that told you where your post around the palace is for the next two-to-four weeks.”
“Sounds silly,” Quick Quill smiled wryly, wondering if she was joking.
“Silly, but if it makes them all happy to be shuffled around,” Twilight gave a patient shrug. “It’s better than mountains of paperwork.” They turned a corner towards the royal apartments and the adjoining corridors. “The morale of my little ponies is important to me,” she said with a giggly smile. “Now, that’s all for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She stopped at the threshold of the royal corridor. Only royalty and a very select few were allowed down that hall.
Quick Quill dutifully stopped behind the line, bowing and smiling before bidding Twilight goodbye. She watched the purple mare head towards her private chambers, shaking her head with a silent smile. Like a fish to water, Twilight had taken the authority of the crown when Celestia had to go to Alpacastan. Oh yes, there were about twelve hours of panicking, a long session of stroking her own tail, a steaming bath to drain her stresses, plenty of wine to give her courage and a sordid masturbation session or two to get the endorphins going… but eventually the purple prodigy worked up the courage to sit upon the throne her adoptive mother did every day. Court Vizier Twilight wouldn’t let her country down. Once she stopped worrying, she actually did quite well! Quick Quill pushed away all her papers into her saddlebags and went about her own evening.
Twilight trotted along, turning a corner into privacy and shutting the double doors behind her with magic. They shut with a satisfying little boom of weight, and the guards nodded dutifully to her. She glanced left, towards the ivory hall. That was where Celestia’s private apartments were. She looked right, down the dark and jagged hallway of the onyx hall, where Princess Nightmare Moon took her residence. Straight ahead were the royal apartments for ponies such as she. Looking about she stopped for a moment, then turned left. Celestia wasn’t home but… but she missed her mother. Adoptive mother. She-raised-me mother. It made no difference to Twilight. She loved her mother and sun goddess more than any of her other little ponies. The guards saluted and snapped to attention as she passed. “At ease boys,” she said pleasantly, passing under a massive crystalline chandelier. “It’s just me.” They favored her with affectionate smiles, and she returned in kind. Twilight reached the end of the hall at last, touching a hoof to the door. Five or six spells looked at her, tasted her aura, checked her identity, measured her weight, inspected the color of her fur and eyes—then the door opened easily for her. She slipped inside and shut it. The scent of fire and smoke instantly invaded her nose. “What the—?!”
Celestia lay on her bed pillow like an entranced swan, watching something burn wildly in the center of the room. A wide magic circle contained the heat and light, but the scent of smoke was thick in the room. “Twilight?!” she looked up, startled.
“I… I…” Twilight was red in the face, caught sneaking into her mother’s room. “Wh-what’s going on?!” she blurted.
“I am… I am…” Celestia was a little flustered, flapping her wings a few times before quickly refolding them. “Th-this is private,” was all she could think to say. Twilight’s gaze slid over to the burning object. A painting? She could see a face from across the room, but it was half-charred away and she couldn’t see who it was.
“I erm… I erm…!” Twilight stuttered, backing up and starting to panic just a little.
Celestia coughed twice, then gave her head a toss. The fire snuffed itself instantly, and the remains smoldered as the magic circle glowed hot… then vanished. “I wasn’t expecting company, I was taking care of something private.” She rose from her bed with some strength.
“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean any harm!” Twilight’s butt hit the door. She felt small, so small all of a sudden, as Celestia swept across the room with her wings authoritatively open.
“It’s alright,” Celestia said as her shadow cast itself over Twilight. “Breathe, daughter… breathe.” She coaxed with a mother’s smile. Twilight took a cleansing breath. Then another. Then a third. A white wing started at the top of her head, then stroked down her withers, past her back and to the base of her tail. Then a second time. The motion seemed to soothe her. “You’re alright.”
“I-I didn’t mean to intrude,” Twilight said, hopelessly embarrassed.
“I think you did, not many can get into this room other than you and I,” Celestia smiled a little coyly. “Will you tell me why you thought to come to my room when you thought I wasn’t home yet?”
Twilight knew better than to lie. “I… I…” She stared at her hooves and mumbled something really humiliating. One hoof crossed over another, and her ears burned.
Celestia looked at the tiny bottle of perfume on her vanity, a little surprised. “Really?” she said curiously, levitating it to them by magic.
“I missed you, and it smells like you and… erm…” Twilight was red in the face, staring at the carpet and not her mother figure. “I wasn’t gonna take any! I just… y’know… smell it… it’s comforting.” She wished she could melt into a puddle and not be blurting all this out like a ten year old caught with her hoof in the cookie jar.
“Oh sweetheart,” Celestia came to her knees so they were eye to eye, deeply touched. Her ethereal mane waved about before resettling. She lifted Twilight’s chin with her hoof so she could see her smiling. “I’ve only been gone a fortnight,” she paused at Twilight’s hurt look. “But I understand. Here.” She opened the bottle and touched it to Twilight’s neck. Just a single drop. It smelled of simple vanilla, with a touch of feather oil to give it weight. Twilight’s heart fluttered, humbled by the gesture. “One on the neck, one on the nose. So only ponies very close to you know,” Celestia whispered with motherly intimacy. The bottle floated, touching Twilight’s muzzle behind her nostrils and between her eyes. She stoppered the perfume, putting it back in its resting place.
“M’sorry for barging in,” Twilight said, still a little embarrassed.
“It’s very sweet of you to do something like that,” Celestia smiled despite herself. “I ah… suppose you’ll want to know what I was doing?” she gently moved the subject so Twilight would stop squirming so much where she stood. The purple mare looked up, nodding quickly. “Well, you see…” It took her a little while to explain, and Twilight tilted her head as she took in the situation.
“I see…” Twilight said slowly, cocking her head.
“You’ll keep it to yourself, though,” Celestia said gently.
Twilight quickly agreed, but then something else bothered her. “How did you get all the way here without anypony seeing you?”
“I sun-stepped,” Celestia smiled coyly, winking at her.
“Ahhh,” Twilight had almost forgotten Celestia could move at the speed of sunlight when she pleased. It was almost like teleporting, really. One burst of speed to a window, then a quick teleport beyond the window, she must’ve arrived in her private chambers almost instantly when the train stopped. The sun goddess didn’t often use the ability, as she often lectured Twilight that life was about the journey, not the destination. But popping out of the train and into her own room wasn’t too much, so she thought. “Well, is there anything you’d like me to do about… this…?” she gestured to the half-burnt painting. Celestia coughed twice, re-igniting the fire while they spoke.
“Try not to make fun of me?” Celestia said with a drop of earnesty. “I know you and Blueblood have been rather steady for a long time now, try not to laugh as I go looking?”
“I would never!” Twilight swore.
“Yes well, it’s been a few hundred years, so I will no doubt be rusty. Cadance is helping me, though, so perhaps not too many disasters await.” Celestia pondered with a hoof to her chin. They conversed for a time as Mountain Blood’s face slowly vanished into the ashes. Celestia didn’t want to admit to herself that she was using her daughter as a distraction as the last image of the love of her life curled into smoke and nothing. It would keep her from staring at him in longing too much. When the flames died down she rose at last, pulling what looked like an urn or lidded-jar from a corner of the room. Using magic she swept up every speck of ash and dust, grinding the remains of the wood into nothing and cleaning the carpet over. It all dashed into the jar rather neatly, and she gently placed the lid on top. A simple hold spell kept the lid from coming off so she wouldn’t spill it. The last of the smoke left her window with a phantom breeze, clearing the air. (How nopony saw smoke coming out of Princess Celestia’s private window was anypony’s guess…)
“I’m proud of you, Mom.” Twilight said after working up her courage to say it.
Celestia had the decency to blush and thank her.
“Does this mean Cadance will be visiting? Staying here for a while?”
“I imagine so,” Celestia said thoughtfully. “I’ll have to ask the palace staff to make up a room for her, and-!” the white alicorn startled when suddenly her hearth spat a scroll with a belch of green flame. “Dragon hearth mail?” she said, slowly standing and getting the parchment. She found the seal and paused a moment. Dark green wax. An insect. “Chrysalis,” she whispered, eyes widening.
Twilight’s muzzle wrinkled. “Uh oh.”
“Now now,” Celestia said, half-scolding and half-curious. She popped the seal and unfurled it. “Oh? It’s addressed to Nightmare. I shouldn’t…” It took only a small discrepancy to send dragon hearth mail to the wrong fireplace in the same building. She glanced at Twilight, who was giving her a frowny look. “W-well, maybe a little peek.” She cleared her throat a moment.
Nightie,
I’ll be visiting two weeks hence, as we discussed. Tell the great white bitch I’m coming to talk and not to make war. Make up a room for me in your deepest, darkest dungeon and do try to remember to leave a pillow or two this time! I hate neck cramps.
Chryssi
P.S. What does Celestia want for Hearthswarming? Stop stalling and ask her for me! I want more bags of grass seed this year, don’t skimp on me!
Celestia slowly lowered the parchment, looking into the fire for a long silence. Four of the Children of Faust under one roof, all at once? She hrrm’d in mild disapproval. Being gone for a fortnight had left her rather decidedly out of the loop, if Nightmare and Chrysalis were talking again. It had been over a year since they’d heard from their estranged sibling to the south, what was going on? Why now?
****
Princess Nightmare Moon crooned over her dear Nurse Bandaid in her private chambers in the onyx halls of the palace in Canterlot. She only knew the most basic of healing magic, but she’d soothed his bruises and carefully bandaged him with tender hooves. She gave him milk with honey, stroked his aches, and cooed over his hurts until the poor stallion settled down. The golden contract of the five gods lay unfurled on her desk, still binding all of Nightmare’s siblings not to physically touch Bandaid without his permission. Chrysalis’ signature still glittered like the rest. It would only go dark if she ever mare-handled him away once more. So it was true. Neither Princess of the Night nor Changeling Queen knew how Bandaid had ended up in the Badlands capital palace.
Bandaid turned and lay on his back, stirring a little from his restful cat-napping. Her massive hoof draped over him and stroked the velvet of his soft brown belly. Brown body, brown mane, he really was a plain thing by pony standards, but… her heart was his. She nuzzled his barrel a little, always moving slow as not to startle him from his dozing reverie. Waking after fainting he’d been panicked, but Nightmare had assured him he was home safe. A quick glance about the onyx chambers told him it was true, and he’d slumped to rest.
Princess Nightmare lifted her head when a knock came to her door. “Come,” she said as loudly as she could without disturbing her resting lover. A servant entered, bowing low, with a food cart. “Thank thee, leave it there,” she nodded twice. She saw the mare’s eyes linger on dear Bandaid. “He is resting,” she whispered. “He’ll be okay soon.”
A slight tone sounded from her adjoining bathroom after the servant had gone, and Nightmare’s ears perked. Lifting him with magic, she levitated him easily along until they’d come to the other room. She lowered him gingerly into the bath, propping his chin on the edge of the tub. It steamed all about him and he gave an audible, happy moan. He shifted, splashing the water over the edge a bit. She smiled softly. Poor delicate thing.
Letting him lay there to soak, she went back to check the food cart. Looking about like a foal sneaking a cake, she leaned to the lower level that was behind the table-cloth covering the whole thing. She smiled with all her fangs. Piping hot ham and a tiny addition of honey. Salted, not over-cooked, and dripping with juices. Checking once more than Bandaid was not splashing out to watch her eat, she attacked the tray with all her hunger. Snarfing wildly at the ham slices, she stopped only to make sure she got honey on some of it.
It had been a wonderful thing, adding a griffin chef to the palace staff, just for her. Well, her and any visiting foreign dignitaries that shared her pallet for meats. She closed her eyes to moan, savoring the salt and meat flavors until her tummy was bulging. Flying for hours, dive-bombing a palace, and rescuing Bandaid all in a few days’ time was hungry work! But it often made her little ponies ill to see her eat thus, so she took to her meats in the privacy of her own chambers. Even Royal Vizier Twilight Sparkle seemed to look ill at the sight of some of her dinners. She took another slab of ham, putting it between two dark brown wheat bread slices. Pausing, she remembered her health and put a bit of cheese with it as well. Then she snarfed that down as well.
Placated, she went to go check on Bandaid. She paused, stopping to check her breath. Well that simply wouldn’t do. She went back to the food cart— ah! Mint. There. That was better. One did not croon over one’s lover with meat on one’s breath. She found him curled up in the massive tub, eyes closed, chin still resting on the edge. She got a gentle brush and soap. She marveled, not for the first time, about the number of potions and elixirs that modern ponies kept in their bathrooms. Lavender would be best, that promoted healthy and deep sleep. She scrubbed him quietly, humming a little lullaby to sooth his poor stressed body. “I see the moon and the moon sees me. Shining through the branches of the old oak tree. And if that moon should shine on me, let it shine on the one I love…” she whispered melodically.
Bandaid gave a quiet purr, his eyelids too heavy to lift. She scrubbed gently between his ears and atop his head. His tail tossed a couple of times so she scrubbed that too. It was intimate, really. Glancing over, she flicked a scented candle with her magic to light it and dimmed the overhead lights. When it was time for him to get out she pulled the plug and let the water drain. She toweled him dry and lifted him again with magic to a softer place to lay in front of the hearth. It was late fall, almost winter, and staying warm was important. When he was dry and only a little bit damp, she at last settled down next to him. The merry, crackling fire would help him dry and sleep easier.
To her surprise, the brown stallion turned all the way over on his back and looked up at her. “Hi,” he whispered. She smiled softly at him. “You saved me… again,” he hooked his long legs about her neck, pulling her down to nuzzle him. “Thank you,” he husked quietly. “I don’t remember any… anything… what happened to me? Who took me?”
“We don’t know yet, my love,” Nightmare whispered, a little ashamed she had no answers for him. “Twas not Chrysalis, though. We do not know who would dare grab you up and place you thus,” she gestured vaguely southward, then leaned down to nuzzle him more. “Please rest? I fret for your health and… tummy,” she suddenly remembered the food cart again, taking the small plate from the upper tier of the wheeled table. She fed him strawberries in wafer-thin slices, then kiwi, then a few lettuce leaves to soothe his grumbling belly. When he would take no more, they rested there before the fire, neither speaking. She stroked his belly, over and over, and they looked at each other’s faces. Hers was of black velvet, a long muzzle and a noble brow. The slits of her pupils, once scary to him, carried an air of delight and sensual mystery to them. His was simply shaped, handsome and well-groomed. A handsome thing that deserved to be kissed and fawned over. After a time, she looked southward on his body. He drew his knees together, shy but smiling. “I think I’ve a way to help you sleep better,” she smiled coyly, kissing his cheek.
“W-w-well,” he fretted shyly as she laid slow kisses down his barrel, past his tummy and towards his groin. The tiny honeypot joined them by her magic there on the carpet and she drew a single line on his growing flesh for fun and flavor. Bandaid gasped, red-faced and staring at the ceiling, only occasionally daring to look down at her bobbing head. After a long time, his long and unchained moan of her name was music to her ears. He curled towards her to pant, exhausted. Settling next to him at last, she laid a long midnight wing protectively over his body to let him sleep. And sleep he did. Healing, bath, food, orgasm, sleep. She was quite good at taking care of her stallion, if she did say so herself.
*****
Nightmare emerged into the royal dining halls without Bandaid, having left him to sleep as long as he could. It was her habit to see if Celestia was having dinner and to at least keep her company. Celestia sat with a tea set, newspaper and a small spread of fruits and vegetables. The dark wine said something was off, though. “Good to see you’ve returned, sister,” the black mare offered a little cautiously. “How was Alpacastan? I was told you even stopped to visit Cadance in the Crystal Empire.”
Celestia lowered her paper, offering a smile, “I heard you went on a rescue mission, alone, a few days ago. Did Chrysalis go back on her deal and snatch Nurse Bandaid again?”
“Neigh,” Nightmare said with a troubled frown, seating herself. She took tea but nothing else, as her belly was still full of ham and… well… other things. “Some unknown thing snatched him from his bed in Ponyville and dropped him in the Badlands Capital Palace, in the highest room of the tallest tower. But Chrysalis’ signature still glitters on the golden contract you all signed. She had nothing to do with it.”
“I got some of your mail on accident,” Celestia said, rolling the scroll across the table to her. “Perhaps we should fill each other in on this past few weeks?”
“Yes, of course,” Nightmare read the letter, then curled it up and vanished it. “But first, tell me how our sister in the north is faring. Did you say sorry?” she gave a sisterly smirk.
“Yes…” Celestia said slowly, looking to one side with a scrunched muzzle.
“Good!” Nightmare piped.
“But more importantly…” Celestia lowered her voice to continue.
Bandaid shouldered his pack, smiling as Nightmare Moon blessed him with her horn. “Safe journey to thy parents’ home, beloved,” she bade. “I will send for you the moment Chrysalis leaves the country again.”
“And the letter to my job in Ponyville?” he asked, adjusting a strap.
“Already sent, you’ve nothing to fear,” she nodded.
“Thanks Nightie,” he said. His hoof came up under her chin, steering her head until he could lean up to kiss her for several long seconds.
“Ooo,” said Cadance in approval, her wings lifting at the small shockwave of love only she could see from the couple. Celestia smiled at her sisters.
“See you soon!” Bandaid turned from the great archway and crossed the drawbridge and out of sight without looking back.
“I want that…” Celestia murmured without thinking.
“You may not have!” Nightmare blustered, pink in the cheeks. “He is mine! Get your own!” She lifted her wings aggressively, growling with all her fangs.
“I-buh-well…” Celestia flustered. “I don’t mean him in particular.” She looked down and to one side.
“Don’t worry, your training starts today,” Cadance said. “After I’m done with you you’ll have your pick of whatever stallion you want,” the goddess of love tittered. “Meet you in the ballroom!” she turned and was away.
“Good luck, sister,” Nightmare said, turning to go about her own activities.
“Yes… yes,” Celestia said after a time. She coughed twice, trying not to glance at the nearby trio of guards that were looking at her curiously. No doubt the rumor mill would start up soon. This was just the beginning. The white alicorn followed her pink sister to the grand ballroom of the palace. The Grand Galloping Gala and other events were often held here by the highest of society and all their servants. But now, it was just an empty shell with a few covered tables and the occasional passerby. The gala was in October, and that was a month behind them. The Feast of Hearthswarming wasn’t for another month at least. So the room sat empty for the most part.
“Here’s the table you wanted, your highnesses,” a strong looking teenage colt pushed in a tiny table for two on wheels, pushing it with the crown of his head. He leaned down, flicking all the breaks into place so it wouldn’t roll away.
“Thank you, Hammershot,” Celestia offered before he bowed and was away. The massive room seemed almost… intimidating, when it was this empty. She found her gaze wandering as she slowly seated herself at the small table and let Cadance do the same.
“Alright,” Cadance steepled her hooves and set her chin on them in a rather villainous sort of way. “Seduce me,” she said.
“What?” Celestia was caught off guard.
“Seduce me.”
“But you and I aren’t-!”
“SEDUCE ME!” Cadance demanded, turning her ears back and snarling.
“Right, right, yes… okay,” Celestia looked at the table before them. A tiny plastic rose, a pair of plates, some silverware, a tiny griffin plushie, some marbles, a soap stone and a few other odds and ends were before her. What to choose? She decided on the tiny griffin plushie. That was cute, and could be a good conversation starter. She shouldered it to herself. “H-hey there… ah... handsome,” she tried a cute approach.
Cadance’s magic launched the plushie across the room where it squeaked sadly when it hit the marble floor. “I am not one of your plushie stable colts! I am a stallion! I like my mares mysterious! Powerful! Confident!” She touched her own breast with a large hoof and glared across the table at her. “You want to be my lover?! Earn it! Seduce me!” she demanded. “I need to know what I’m working with, here!” Cadance said with an aggressive flap of her wings. When she settled, she waited. “What does Princess Celestia, Goddess of the Sun, Ruler of Equestria and all her Holdings say when she decides she wants a piece of stallion for herself?!”
Celestia hesitated for a long time, overpowered by her sister’s… enthusiasm. She’d not thought this far ahead, to her actual approach to this sort of thing. “Er,” was all she managed. She looked to one side, then the other, then hesitantly spread her vast white wingspan. Cadance noted the angle and shadow positioning. Not aggression, but an invitation to look. She allowed a small smile of approval and a tiny nod. Then the white alicorn offered her most dazzling Noon Day Court smile. Cadance nodded again. “No… No sooner met but I looked, no sooner looked but I loved, no sooner loved but I sighed… a-at the sight of you,” she tried.
Cadance deflated, “Shakespony is very sweet, sister, but not something used nowadays.” She tapped hoof to chin as she watched her sister flush in embarrassment. “Come now! Love me! Show me what you want and that you’re willing to reach out and— YAP?!” Cadance was seized bodily and thrown on her back upon the table with a bump. Celestia held her shoulders down, positioned firmly between her knees. “I said seduce me, not ravish me!” she barked, harshly booping Celestia’s nose with the flat of her hoof. Cadance’s four legs bicycled to try and get her off.
“Er?!” a servant was standing in the double doorway, jaw hanging and eyes wide. The two goddesses were entangled as though in an act of passion, over a table for two. Celestia jumped off Cadance like she’d been hit with lightning. “I-I brought the things you asked for, Princess Cadance,” he pushed a large cart into view.
Cadance slowly got up, walking a half-circle around him. Meeting Celestia’s eyes for a split moment, she dragged the weight of her tail over the young stallion’s back. His face colored as she walked past him, taking the cart and pushing it along with magic. “Thank you for all your help. I’ll be thinking of you later,” she pressed a golden bit into his hoof, and oh-so gently shhhhh’d him as he slipped back into the hall. She offered a sensual wink before she closed the door in the stuttering stallion’s face. “See? Like that,” she said matter-of-factly. Celestia stared in awe. She made it look so easy! “Maybe we should start more simply,” she said, pushing the cart along to their little table. “When was the last time you wore make-up?” Celestia thought for a time. Perhaps the Grand Galloping Gala? No no, that night was all about dresses. She couldn’t recall. “…Do you know how?” Cadance frowned at her silence.
“Of course!” Celestia said, a little miffed. “It’s the three F’s, yes? Foundation, frame the face, five minutes, done.”
Cadance cocked her head, mildly impressed. “Mm! Well yes, but there’s one more letter there. The S.” She pulled the sheet off of the new cart and revealed a vast array of beauty supplies. Celestia blanched at all the powders and liners and pencils. “Subtlety. You want to accent what you have, not be a painted whore.” She picked up a couple of flesh-colored lipsticks and leaned rudely at Celestia’s undercarriage. She compared the colors to the pink of her belly.
“I’m not a canvas to be painted!” Celestia lifted a hoof defensively, leaning back.
“No but you are as white as a virgin dove, and white goes with everything,” Cadance said in a business-like way. Reaching she took a couple of other colors until she found the right one. She held it up and pulled off the cap. It was white. No, pink. A very, very slight pink one practically had to squint to see. She twisted the knob and the shining spike emerged. Celestia ooohh’d just a little, unable to help it. “Subtle beauty is its own reward, sister,” Cadance said, “I can smell your perfume, by the way. Only from very close, though. That’s smart.” She waited for Celestia’s flattered nod. “This is much the same. Ponies that like you or want to know you better will spend more time looking at your face. They, and nopony else, will notice a color this subtle.” With that, she slowly leaned to apply a thin, thin layer to Celestia’s lips. “There. Feel sexier yet?” she chuckled.
“Well I-!” Celestia stopped when she held up a small mirror from the cart. “Oh my,” she gasped. Even that tiny addition had made a difference. She wasn’t an especially vain pony when it came to her looks, but she’d not worn lipstick in a very, very long time. It was pretty on her.
“Now,” Cadance leaned back when she saw the boost in her sister’s confidence. “Seduce me.” She sat in the chair across from her again.
Celestia steepled her hooves and mimicked the look she’d seen Cadance give the poor servant stallion earlier. “I’ll have what you’re having,” she said sensually, as though they were in a restaurant someplace.
Cadance stared, then groaned and slowly face-hooved. Celestia deflated, disappointed. “That’s erm… better?” It came out like a question. “We have a long way to go.” Celestia sighed, sitting back in her chair to be lectured again.
Later…
Cadance and Celestia leaned Scooby-Doo style around a corner, peering into a large green house. It was in the far corner of the palace gardens, not far from the palace proper. A single, impressive looking stallion smiled over his dozens of tiny plants and flowering things. He was a dark brown thing with a dark green mane. The goddess of love gestured, and Celestia screwed up her courage before she emerged from around the corner. “Now just do exactly as I told you,” she whispered from her cover. Celestia nodded, taking a deep breath.
Opening the thick glass door, she peered about. “Sorry, this greenhouse is for the Hearthswarming Feast décor plantlife! You’ll hafta go someplace else if you need help with landscaping or somethin’!” the stallion called over his shoulder without looking up. He swung his watering can, “There y’go little guy…” he whispered soothingly. The plant seemed to dance under the shower of his tender care. He touched it once, twice, three times to shake the droplets off and his earth pony magic made one of its leaves enthusiastically unfurl.
“Is that hibiscus?” Celestia asked softly, making him whirl about.
“Princess Celestia!” he almost tripped over himself. “What brings you to my… erm… this greenhouse?”
“I saw all the pretty flowers, and wanted to see them closer, master gardener.” Celestia said, walking a slow half circle around him to put his back to the doorway. A bush with a gigantic pair of pink wings swish-swished through the doorway and then lay still in a corner to listen. “What is your name?”
“Mossy Mane, your majesty. A-And yes, its hibiscus.”
“I thought those only bloomed in spring and summer!” She smiled, impressed. She less-than-subtly opened her wings when he turned to look at the plant she’d indicated.
“Well in here I can make it like spring or summer,” Mossy said proudly, picking up his watering can so she wouldn’t trip over it. She followed him as he showed off a row of this flower, and a row of that flower.
“Beautiful,” Celestia said whispily. “Your flowers are beautiful, Mossy Mane,” she said, careful to use his name aloud as Cadance had bade.
“W-well, they’re the palace’s flowers, I just work here!” he blushed a little, but smiled at her compliment.
“Well you take care of them, don’t you?” Celestia said. “Help them bloom and grow? Doesn’t that make them sort of yours?”
“Well I… guess I never thought of it that way!” he smiled, leaning to water a furry-looking something-or-another plant while he spoke. The color in his cheeks had not faded.
“May I have one of your flowers?” Celestia lowered her voice, fluttering her eyelashes. “For my mane?”
“Uh?” He looked up at her, eyes a little wider. “Oh! Yes, please! Take one!”
The white alicorn leaned over the many rows. “What do you think would look best for me to wear for the day?” she wanted his opinion. She watched him study her for a moment. His eyes travelled her impressive wingspan, much to her delight. “I know white goes with everything, haha…” she offered a tinkling laugh that reminded him of a wind chime.
“How about this?” Mossy Mane offered her a rather large pinkish-purple flower, “It matches your eyes.” He said before he could stop himself. He looked startled at his own words, then quickly turned about to find a cutting tool. She slowly knelt down and allowed him to put it into her hair, under her crown and beside one of her ears. His hooves trembled and his heart thundered at the close contact.
“Thank you, Mossy…” she said, tossing her head a little to make sure it was secure. “It’s beautiful.” She turned to go with a swish of her tail.
“You’re beautiful…” he whispered under his breath. If Celestia had been a mortal mare, her ears would not have been keen enough to hear his words. She smiled and stared at her hooves as she crossed the greenhouse and went out the door. She was careful to close it behind her so that the harsh November air didn’t invade the greenhouse.
Cadance popped into existence with a shower of pink sparkles as soon as Celestia went around a corner into the palace. “Wow! Hook, line and sinker! There’s hope for you yet!”
“Those were your words, not mine,” Celestia looked at her reflection in a corridor mirror. The flower was lovely. She decided to leave it in her mane.
“But you got the basics: name, flattery, please and thank you, easy gift, eye contact,” Cadance named off the long list of things she’d just practiced all by herself. “And never forget the tail swish. He’s gonna be thinking about you for days!”
“Yes well, this is just the first day or so of your help,” Celestia smiled gently, worry knitting her brow. “I’m not going to be flirting with every other stallion in the palace, am I?”
“It’s not going to hurt you to look available,” Cadance tutted. “After all, it’s been a few hundred years since you were available.”
“True,” Celestia relaxed a little.
“Who knows! Maybe somepony will approach you in the end!”
*****
Bandaid heaved a great, relieved sigh when he arrived at his parents’ home. It was nestled in a cute little valley surrounded by thick and lively woods. November had made all the trees barren, but ocassional animal calls and brilliantly colored leaves still dotted the scene. Shouldering his pack, he passed the mailbox, the well, a small cart barn, and a big open yard. To one side lay a strange square-shaped building he couldn’t identify, but he’d not been to visit in a long time. It must’ve been new. He wrote to his parents often, but life was rather busy when one was dating a goddess, holding down a job and… and… and he didn’t have much excuse. He sighed a little, then made himself smile. Clearing his throat, he rang the bell. “Mom? Dad?” he called. “It’s me, Bandaid!”
Bandaid’s father answered the door. “Hey, there he is!” he pulled his son into a big hug. “Glad you made it okay. We got your letter a couple of days ago, your mother just about had a fit.”
“Well, haha,” Bandaid scratched the back of his head. “Better here than home in Ponyville, right? Thanks for letting me stay here with you guys while Chrysalis is visiting in Canterlot.”
“You’re always good to stay here with your mother and I,” First Aid patted his son’s back a couple of times, leading him through the house and out the back onto their deck. What once was a leafy, disheveled yard had transformed into a... big… sand pit? “It’s a zen garden,” First Aid whispered. “We’re working on your mother’s blood pressure and physical therapy.” The two males shared a private smile. Bandaid’s mother Dazzle Kick had given it one hundred and ten percent all throughout her octagon career, through the births of no less than seven foals, and had retired on top into a quieter life out in the country side. Bandaid admired the gentle waves in the sand, the ocassional pointed rock and the spheres of colored glass that glistened in the easy sunlight. A long wooden rake leaned against a tree nearby. A chilly breeze pushed some leaves about as they crossed the yard around the zen garden. “I think your mother is still in her dojo.”
“Is that what that square building is?” Bandaid said with disapproval. “What happened to retiring?”
“Well, as soon as we settled someplace word got around and ponies started showing up to ask her to train them in ‘her ways’.” First Aid rolled his eyes. “And you know your mother’s ego, she decided to take on a protégé or two to pass on her moves to. But…”
“No! No! NO!” Both stallions flinched at the bombastic shout as they approached the square-shaped building. “You have to be quicker than that!” A crashing sound sent both of them running instead of walking, along with the splinter of wood. “Rainbow Dash, show them how to do it right!” Dazzle Kick was sitting on a comfy pillow to one side as they emerged into the enclosed courtyard, but she was shouting up a storm. First Aid pushed his glasses up his muzzle to get a better look. Dazzle Kick was instructing no less than three ponies. Rainbow Dash, the mare that had “beaten” her in the octagon during her retirement match, and two strangers. Both were earth ponies that looked like they’d been hit with a boulder. Bandaid looked at the ramp that had been set up, the boulder laying against a wooden column, and the long trail in the dirt that said they’d been run over by it. Both earth pony trainees lay in heaps on the ground, their eyes replaced by swirls. “Go on, show ‘em!” she tutted her star pupil with a stomp of her hoof.
After replacing the big rock at the top of the wooden ramp, Rainbow fluttered down to be directly in its path. “Alright, ready,” she said. Dazzle Kick gave a rather subtle tap of her left-back hoof. The boulder wavered, then careened towards Rainbow Dash with all its weight. Rainbow Dash poised, squinting, then touch-step-pushed the massive thing to one side of herself with a shout. A huge crack appeared in the boulder as it rolled to a halt before it hit anything. She took her cleansing breath, relaxing.
“Oh for Celestia’s sake, honey, does it have to be boulders again?!” First Aid stepped over the two stunned students to nuzzle his wife.
“If they can shift a boulder they can shift a punch,” Dazzle Kick said matter-of-factly. “Rainbow Dash can already do it, she’ll learn my channeling-recoil techniques perfectly within the next year or so!” she praised her star student with gusto. “It won’t be long before she dominates the octagon in my place!” Rainbow’s ego inflated and she flared her wings while puffing up her chest. “And look, I finished my herbal tea like you wanted. I get points for that, right?” she showed her husband the empty cup. His eyes darted to a potted plant next to her to see if it was wet.
“She actually drank it this time!” Rainbow cupped a hoof to report. First Aid nodded his approval, placated, and kissed the top of Dazzle Kick’s head.
“Oh Bandaid, you’re here!” Dazzle stood, stepping over the dead-to-the-world stallions she’d been trying to teach. “You look good!” she hugged her son.
“Hey Mom,” Bandaid said, ommphing a little in her powerful embrace.
Dazzle Kick looked him over, tugging on his ears and stroking his withers with affection, “Well at least they fixed you up properly this time,” she thanked her husband as he gathered up the tea set that had been next to her seating pillow. “Rainbow, head to the sand woks for a while. One thousand punches!” she called past him. Rainbow wilted like a foal that had been given extra math homework. “Don’t sulk, go on now!”
“I take it you already heard?” Bandaid said delicately, looking at her face. His mother had gained weight, softened in the face, and looked a bit older now that she’d retired. No doubt she’d finally been eating what she wanted, sleeping as much as she wanted, and enjoying her retirement in the meantime. He was relieved she was finally uncoiling, relaxing
“Oh yes, I heard,” Dazzle Kick growled a little. “Princess Nightmare Moon lost track of her stallion again and you popped up in another country!” she sizzled and reached under her sitting pillow for the newspaper she’d stashed there:
Princess Nightmare Moon Leads One-Mare Rescue Charge Into Badlands!
Consort Bandaid’s Health Hangs in the Balance!
“Oh that’s not even close!” Bandaid said. “I was fine! Nightie came and got me, like she always does!” He wilted under his mother’s angry gaze.
“And what did she trade for you this time, huhm?” Dazzle Kick said.
“Nothing, nothing. Chrysalis didn’t take me this time.”
“'This time', he says,” Dazzle Kick settled with a loud grunt onto her pillow. “Bandaid you’ve got to stop being the bargaining chip of the gods. It’s not good for you! You’re going to get hurt bad one of these days!”
“Nightie takes good care of me, and she always rescues me when things go bad!”
“Because they always do!” Dazzle threw the paper on the ground. Rainbow Dash, who was punching a large wok full of sand, flinched at the snapping sound some distance away.
“Maybe we can just not worry about it, and have a good visit?” First Aid returned with some tiny finger foods, hoping to quell the frustration with the offering. His glasses slid down his nose. “Honey, our son came home to us to be away from all that, and who better to protect him than you?” he played to his wife’s ego.
Dazzle Kick grumbled, thanking her husband for the afternoon snack. She was on a special diet that was tiny meals throughout the day, while he body settled out of her super violent lifestyle. “The only pony responsible for you is in the mirror,” she said slowly, not looking at her son for once.
“W-well, why don’t you teach me then?” Bandaid said without thinking. “I can defend myself!”
Dazzle Kick looked up at him, shocked. First Aid dropped his tray in horror, spilling food everywhere. Her eyes got big and moist. Had Hearths Warming come early?! “You… you want to learn from me?” The old mare whispered. “But you’ve never shown an interest… a-and your sisters were always so rough with you… took after your father…” she stuttered a little.
“Honey, honey no,” First Aid said, sweeping closer to her and taking her by the shoulders. “Don’t. Please. All the girls learned from you, Bandaid was mine to teach! You promised.” He was visibly upset at the mere idea.
Bandaid watched them argue back and forth. He looked at his hooves. Then he looked over at Rainbow Dash, working hard and trying very hard not to evesdrop. Their eyes met for a moment. Then she was back at it. “Dad…” he said slowly.
“Please don’t. You’re a nurse! You're a healer! You’re like me!” First Aid took his son’s shoulder to plead.
“I… I need to learn to defend myself,” Bandaid said firmly after a few moment’s hesitation. “If not Chrysalis, then somepony else. As long as I’m with Princess Nightmare Moon, I’m a target. W-whether anypony wants to admit it to my face or not.” His face fell. First Aid opened his mouth to argue, but his son cut him off. “And I’m not going to dump her to be safe. She loves me. And I love her. I love her very much.” He looked to his mother, taking a deep and resolute breath. “Mom, everypony out there that’s powerful enough to take me away from Nightmare Moon… I need to be able to stop them.” He watched the smile on his mother’s face grow and grow and grow. “Teach me the Tectonic Plate Crusher.” There was a silence. First Aid hung his head like he’d just lost a child, and quietly went back into the house, taking the tray with him. Tears were starting in his eyes.
“That’s the one thing I never taught your six sisters,” Dazzle Kick said slowly, touching a hoof to her chin. “Since they’re so irresponsible. But maybe you…” she trailed off, looking up at him. Kind Bandaid. Gentle Bandaid. Nurse Bandaid. Her little colt. Her mind's eye saw the tiny, scrawny, yowling thing that he'd been as a baby. The bright eye'd gentle soul the took a tin of bandaids to school with him every day in case one of his friends skinned a knee. Now a handsome young stallion, dating a goddess, no less. “...Maybe you.” She stood slowly and hugged him. “Your father is going to kill me,” she whispered with soft eyes. “Alright. I will teach you.”
First Aid wept in the house with the bedroom door closed where nopony would hear him.
Bandaid wandered outside after dark. The chilly November air made him shudder, and he threw a little towel over himself. The small bathing area outside the house was perhaps fifty feet away. His mother and father had been quietly arguing for a few days now. Doing laps around the house and property to work on his legs was his mother’s bidding, but now he was sore. Throwing a soapstone and wash bucket onto his back, he stepped into the hot springs area. “So this is why Dad said the house was so expensive,” he said slowly, looking around. The steaming pools were surrounded by privacy fences, but little else. There was a spicket to wash yourself, and then the springs to soak in. His nose told him of the mineral contents. “They must’ve wanted this for Mom’s back and muscles,” he splashed the water a little bit with a hoof to see how hot it was. Pretty hot!
Scrubbing quickly and eager to relieve his achy legs and chest, the brown stallion slipped into the waters. Filling a big cup with water so he wouldn’t dry out, he leaned back and relaxed. “Just not gonna talk to me, huh?” Rainbow Dash said.
“Ack?!” Bandaid sat up with a splash.
“S’okay, I didn’t say anything either,” Rainbow Dash was leaning against the far edge of the pools by some flowering plants. Bandaid’s eyes must’ve slid past her, thinking her a brightly colored flower or something.
“S-sorry, I’ll come back later,” he rose to go.
“I said its fine, sheesh,” Rainbow said, reclining. “But do what you want.”
“A-alright,” he said, sinking back down again. “My legs were really sore, so I came to soak, is all,” he promised her.
Careful to keep her wings out of the water for personal preening later, Rainbow turned a bit so she could look at him. “So you’re Master Dazzle Kick’s son, huh?” she said, eyeing him and not looking particularly impressed. “You must take after your dad.”
“I’m a nurse, yes,” Bandaid said, sinking in up to his neck. “I’m hiding out here while uh… while my marefriend’s violent sister visits,” he told her. “I asked mom to train me like she’s training you.”
“She’s not gonna train you like she does me, lookit you,” Rainbow said a little sourly. “You’re all soft and fuzzy and slow. I’ve been watching you jog around the place for the past few days.”
He went a little hot in the face, “And how long have you been here, mooching off my parents?” he wanted to know, turning his ears back at her.
“I pay a hundred bits a week, sleep on a cloud over the property, and I’ve never asked them for a speck of food. I’ve been here almost a year,” Rainbow said shortly, frowning at him. “You on the other hand, mooch away.”
Bandaid found himself liking her less and less. “They’re my parents,” he said. Rainbow stretched lazily, and he saw the slickened muscles of her toned back work themselves back and forth. Even a quick, medical calculation in his head told him her body fat percentile must’ve been somewhere in the lower-teens. That cyan body was a well-oiled machine. No doubt his mother was molding her into something even greater than that. “I remember you,” he said at last, studying her rainbow mane. “You fought in my mother’s retirement match. You crawled out of the Tectonic Plate Crusher.”
Her ego lifted just a little bit, “Yeah, that was me. The first and only pony to ever do that. I can’t imagine how strong she was in her prime.” She looked dreamily up at the full moon. “And someday, I’m gonna be the best just like she was. Even better!” There was a long silence, for Bandaid didn’t respond. “I heard you begging her to teach you too. You think you’re gonna be strong enough to fight off whoever’s trying to kidnap you? Haven’t you called the local guard?”
“It’s… a little more complicated than that,” he sighed, looking away. When he looked back, she was fixing him with a disbelieving frown. “My marefriend? It’s… Nightmare Moon.”
Rainbow Dash BURST into laughter, flailing back against the shore of the hot spring. She pointed at him with a hoof like he’d just told the best joke imaginable. “You?! You and Princess Nightmare Moon?! HAHHH!” she kicked her back legs and accidently splashed all the way into the water. Her wings sank into the hot water and she quickly stood. “Aww, dammit!” she said as they sagged with weight. She flapped them with all her might, but they did little other than droop and drip. “Well practice is gonna be harder tomorrow,” she grumbled. Then she cracked a grin again as she remembered what she was laughing about.
“I’m serious!” he said before she could start into more giggles. “Nightie and I are…” he fished for the right word. He didn’t have stones enough to say ‘lovers’ or anything. His cheeks were flush with steam and hot water, so he took a long drink and slowly sank down again. “You don’t hafta believe me,” he grumpily decided, looking away.
“Okay, okay, I’ll bite,” Rainbow just had to know. “If you’re knocking horseshoes with a goddess, why do you need to learn how to defend yourself? Shouldn’t you be surrounded by guards, or protective spells or something? Don’t the stories say that Nightmare Moon can see whatever the moon sees?”
“She can’t, she only talks to the moon,” Bandaid said.
“And it talks back?”
“Yeah.”
“What does it say, then?”
“Moon stuff, I dunno,”
Rainbow snorted, shaking her head at him. “You’re weird, you know that?”
“Yeah,” Bandaid said, sidling down into the waters again. It didn’t seem to hurt anything to share what had been going on with this strange mare. If he was going to be around his mom and dad’s house for a while, Rainbow Dash would be around too. He may as well try to make friends. “Well, it all started when Princess Nightmare Moon came back from her banishment,” he said. He gave her the short, short, short version of what had been going on lately.
“Ohhhh,” Rainbow said, tapping the side of the springs with a clopping hoof. “So you’re the mare in your relationship! I get it!”
“Th-that’s not…!” Bandaid spluttered.
“S’okay! I’m the stallion in mine!” she made a lewd gesture with floppy hoof hooked over a thrusting hoof. Bandaid’s eyes flicked down. “Not like that!” she said, regretting her joke immediately. “I got a marefriend back home, I meant!”
“Oh!” he said, apologizing. “Do you write her, or…?”
“Nope. When you’re as fast as me, you can fly from town to town in ten seconds flat!” she boasted. Bandaid wasn’t sure he believed her, but shrugged. “Anyways, newbie,” she was quite done talking about relationships by then. “Just make sure you don’t hurt yourself out there, huh? Master Dazzle Kick’s your mom, just don’t do anything dumb.” She rose from the waters and shook like a dog. She made to lift off and fly away, but her soaked wings wouldn’t let her. Grumbling, she grabbed a towel and threw it about her shoulders.
“I’m a medically trained, grown stallion thank you,” Bandaid said lamely.
“But you dunno a thing about how to fight in the octagon!” Rainbow shot back.
“I do so! I watched Mom for years! I grew up with ring side seats!”
“That must’a been cool… but you’ve never been on the receiving end of a kick to the face or a germane suplex. You’re just…” she paused to word it right. “Mommy’s little colt!” She winked, flicking her tail to make him look. When he did, she snorted and rolled her eyes at him as she left.
“Am not…” he mumbled, looking down into the cloudy water at his reflection. He sat there for a long time, sipping at his ice water while the mineral hot spring worked its magic on his poor sore legs. “I’m not, am I?” he looked up at Luna. The moon shrugged at him, but his mortal eyes could not perceive it.
The Next Day…
Bandaid lay on his back, moaning in pain. “Do you give up?” Dazzle Kick leaned over him.
“No,” he pouted.
“Are you sorry?”
“No,” he pouted again.
“I didn’t tell you to do any additional push-ups or sit-ups this morning, did I?” Dazzle Kick said with no sympathy. “You want me to teach you, you work out how I tell you, when I tell you. Not before. And no extra work unless I give it to you.” She shook her head as Bandaid sprawled there on the ground on his back. “Now lookit you, exhausted barely past noon.”
“Moooom, I gotta learn things!” he complained. “I need to be stronger!”
“Being stronger and being stupid with your body are two different things, Bandaid,” she scolded. “Now, you’re gonna sit there for the rest of the day and learn from a proper student. RAINBOW DASH!” she shouted over her shoulder. Bandaid watched the mare smirk in a mightier-than-thou sort of way when his mother wasn’t looking. Her ego was just… just… grrr! She walked slowly, wings on display, and bowed with a martial artist’s respect to Dazzle. “You know why I work her harder than you? Because she can take it.”
“Mom…”
“She’s been here almost a year training under me, doing as I say instead of pushing too hard and destroying her body.”
“Mom…”
“Rainbow Dash knows a thing or two about taking care of herself, and she was in the octagon to fight me when we first met. I had a lot more to work with than with you! You’re starting from square one!”
“Mom!”
“What?!” Dazzle demanded. “I’m lecturing, don’t talk back to your mother!”
“Dad’s leaving,” Bandaid said, gesturing.
Dazzle Kick whirled around in horror. “What?!” she squawked. “Firstie, honey! No!” she dashed away towards the driveway. Sure enough First Aide had a fat saddlebag on his back and a sour expression on his face. “Where’re you going?!” she dashed past Bandaid before her husband left. Her voice faded with distance, though Rainbow and Bandaid could hear them both.
“I’m not gonna stand here and watch while you turn our only son into a weapon,” First Aide said, shivering with anger and eyes brimming with tears. “You promised me the day we got married if we had a son he would be mine to teach! That you would NEVER show him how to hurt ponies like you!”
Rainbow whispered to Bandaid, “Oh wow, I’ve never seen him yell like that, and I’ve been here like a year.” Bandaid watched, dumbstruck.
“I’m not teaching him to hurt ponies like me!” Dazzle protested, putting a hoof on his chest so he would go no further. “I’m teaching him to defend himself!”
“That colt is my legacy, he went all the way through medical school at the top of his class on his own bit. He got such high honors he was recruited to the palace staff of Canterlot!” First Aid swatted her hoof away. “He didn’t have to get his hooves dirty like you and me to get by in the world. Now you’re doing to him what you did to all our little fillies!” Rainbow flinched when First Aide threw his bag down to yell some more.
“You want him to be weak and helpless?!” Dazzle Kick demanded, cutting him off. “He’s been kidnapped like four times! Four, Firstie! I don’t want my son to be some kinda… kinda princess in a tower somewhere.”
“Oooh boy,” Rainbow said awkwardly, her wings slowly folding as she began to back up. “Now might be a good time to make ourselves scarce. You in?” she didn’t wait for Bandaid to answer, but shoved her head under his limp body. “C’mon ‘princess’,” she teased a little, smiling awkwardly as she heaved the sore stallion up onto her back.
“You smell,” he said weakly.
“My wings are still wet,” Rainbow grumped at him. “Now c’mon.” she turned about. Bandaid watched the screaming match heat up until the cyan Pegasus rounded the corner.
“He’s my son too! You made every one of our fillies into warriors! Why can’t I have this one?!”
“He’s already an accomplished nurse, imagine what he can do if we both instilled him with our talents!”
“Bandaid is a healer like me, not a bruiser like you!”
“I did what I had to to put food on the table for our whole family, and I put six fillies through college!”
“Four of them dropped out! Bandaid paid his own way!”
“I’m not gonna sit around while you teach him to buck the fuck out of somepony! Let go of me!”
“No! You’re my husband! Stay!”
“Let go, dammit! I am leaving so long as you are doing this!” They were both pulling on the fat brown saddlebag, until it suddenly ripped right down the middle. Both ponies were flung back and landed on their backs. Clothes, travelling supplies and photographs went everywhere. The photos fell like leaves all about them. Dazzle recovered instantly, but First Aide stayed down where he was. He touched a hoof to his face, his bangs shadowing his eyes as tears went down his cheeks.
“Did I hurt you?!” Dazzle swept to him, pushing everything out of the way to look for scrapes. She steered his face to hers, and he snuffled. She stroked his bangs out of his eyes. He wouldn’t look into hers. “Oh Firstie…” she whispered, slowly sinking down on all fours to his level.
“I-I hate it when you do this,” he murmured when she pulled his head to her chest. “Y-you just do things without consulting me. I’m your husband. You promised you’d change when you retired. You promised…” he said softly. His glasses lay strewn on the ground. She picked them up and gingerly gave them to him. “Please, Dazzie…?” he whispered to her. “Please don’t? Don’t teach him like you?” There was a long, pregnant silence. His ears wilted when she wouldn’t speak.
But finally, she did. “Tell you what,” she whispered, crooning over him. “I’ll compromise.”
“C-compromise?” he said, looking up at her with large moist eyes.
“I won’t teach him how to fight like I did in the octagon,” she whispered. “I’ll teach him to… dodge,” she decided. He stared at her, ears perked, then tilted his head.
“Dodge?” he said, questions in his eyes.
“N-now come back inside, before this old mare starts bawling along with you.”
“…kay,” he allowed. They spent a moment or two cleaning up the ripped bag and its contents, before going inside. She made love to him that night, to mend some broken bridges and to bring her husband closer to herself. Rainbow Dash and Bandaid ended up camping out farrrrr away from the two older ponies having sex in the privacy of their own bedroom.
*****
Celestia leaned around the corner Scooby-Doo style, Cadance behind her. This was a test, the first test she was going to fly solo for. She coughed, examining a little something-something under her wing. The task was simple: she had to flirt without saying more than a few words to a stallion. After only one day to think over her strategy, Cadance brought her to a random hall of the castle and turned her loose.
If Princess Celestia was going to seek out a new colt friend or lover or husband, she needed to be able to show more than polite approval for somepony. She needed to show interest. She had to practice the feminine art of appraisal. “Alright, go,” Cadance coached softly.
The white alicorn bumbled around the corner when she was rudely shoved, but straightened up quickly. Both of the guards standing there were looking at her. She cleared her throat a little. “Princess Celestia!” they said as one, saluting and then standing at attention.
“At ease, gentlecolts,” she stopped in front of them. Cadance leaned around the corner with a pair of binoculars to watch her technique. Hrm, she wasn’t opening her wings or smiling very wide. She was losing points for this! “Hm,” Celestia said, touching hoof to chin. She leaned at them. They blink-blinked. Was this a surprise inspection? Both stallions threw out their chests as best they could. Their armor was shiny, their fetlocks were trimmed, they could hold up to scrutiny! “Impressive,” Celestia whispered rather sensually. She leaned one way, then the other, then walked a slow semi-circle about them. Her tail flicked, almost touching the nose of one of them. They chanced a glance at each other. Reaching under her wing, Celestia produced a napkin wrapped cookie. Soft, warm, straight from the kitchens. She magicked it to the hooves of one guard and not the other. His brow rose in surprise. “Very, very impressive indeed,” she punctuated, turning slowly from them both with a wink. There was a long and awkward silence as she passed around the corner and out of sight.
The guard with no cookie looked at the guard with a cookie. “I fucking hate you,” he decided with a frown. “You gonna share that or…?”
“Nope. I’m the impressive one,” he picked it up and snarfed it in front of him. “Ge’ ‘our own!” he said around a mouthful of bulging cheeks. The first guard growled like an angry dog. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, sheesh,” he tossed a quarter-piece to his partner.
Meanwhile, Cadance caught up to Celestia with a tinkling giggle. “Not bad, not bad!” she said. “You forgot a few things, but not bad.”
“What did I forget?” Celestia said.
“Wings and smile.”
“But I had gift and tail swish.”
“We’re adding things as we go, you need to remember them all if you’re going to have a new romantic partner!”
“How is that going to happen, by the way?” Celestia said, looking at her sister sideways. “Do you have a magic book full of all the single ponies in the world, with sub-sections on who is where?”
“I locked that silly thing up a long time ago!” Cadance said with a laugh. “It takes the fun out of things!” She stopped and put a hoof out when she heard some ponies arguing ahead of them. Celestia and Cadance stood behind an impressive indoor hydrangea to listen.
“I don’t understand why you need a hair appointment every two weeks! You look fine!”
“Honey this kind of beauty takes upkeep! How else am I supposed to look my best!”
“It’s a lot of money!”
“It’s a lot of mane!”
“It’s a waste on our funds that’s supposed to be for our couple’s activities on our days off!”
“We are not having this argument again, end of story!”
“We are if my half of our money is going into spa treatments and other garbage we don’t need!”
Celestia opened her mouth to play diplomat but Cadance stopped her, reaching into her saddlebags for a moment. A cocking sound was heard. The white alicorn gaped when Cadance drew a small hoof-sized crossbow. What was she doing?! Without waiting or giving reason, she shot the stallion right in the ass with a tiny, five-inch bolt. When the bolt struck him, it burst into pixie dust and pink sparkles. With a quick flick of her other hoof, she reloaded and shot the mare as well. Both of them flinched for a moment, their eyes glazing over.
“Oh smoopsie-poo, I guess you’re right. I mean, if I read up on how to do some of those stylings myself maybe I wouldn’t be at the salon all day every other weekend,” the mare admitted, hearts dancing around her head.
“Oh honey bear, maybe I shouldn’t eat out so much. That would free up some bits so you could go every three or four weeks, instead of every two, y’know?” the stallion’s eyes were pink and his pupils were heart-shaped. “I did want to start working on my midriff again anyway…”
“You looked so handsome with those abs in high school!” she crooned. They leaned into each other, lovey-dovey-ing down the hallway and out of sight.
Celestia stared with a mix of horror and curiosity. “Is that-?!”
“Cupid’s Crossbow, yes,” Cadance said, quickly stuffing it away. “The mare that helped me make this was a genius matchmaker… oops!” one of the arrows split through the side of her saddlebag and spilled a bunch of arrows and other things onto the floor.
“Please don’t use that around my little ponies anymore,” Celestia hoof’d a singular, heart-headed arrow under her wing when Cadance turned to check under the hydrangea for more.
“Oh I don’t use them to spawn love, just re-enforce it,” Cadance said, lighting her horn to fix the rip in her bag when they’d picked up all the things she’d spilled on the floor. “Like fanning a flame, to help them remember what’s important; Compromise between lovers.”
“Those two could’ve just used counselling,” Celestia said.
“Don’t lecture me on how love should be,” Cadance said sharply, a spark of temper in her eyes. Celestia looked away, apologetic, until she deflated and relaxed. “I’m well-aware of the ramifications of love magic. That’s why it’s illegal in just about all its forms for everypony, save for me.” She saw Celestia’s look. “But I am in your home, so I’ll not use it anymore,” she compromised and promised. Her sister nodded approvingly. “I’ll store it in the palace vaults if you don’t trust me.”
“I trust you,” Celestia smiled in earnest, keeping the arrow tucked under her wing out of sight.
*****
Chrysalis was a light sleeper. She always had been, before she’d become a goddess. But now it was especially light. Oh sure, gods didn’t actually need to sleep. But being up and about twenty-four seven could be very mentally taxing. After staying awake for two and a half months to feverishly work on the changeling capital city, she’d at last surrendered to the idea that she at least needed leisure time. And if that leisure time was eight hours a day away from everyling else, well that suited her just fine she supposed. She read, napped, lazed about, and ate what she pleased in the meantime. It was a good compromise.
Now, however, was not a particular time for sleep. She was on the border of Equestria and the Badlands, just beyond the range of one of Celestia’s border forts. She and her entourage of a dozen changelings had stopped for the night. Her gossamer litter had been taken apart and made into bedding, and would be reassembled at sunrise to bear her further. A queen did not walk from one place to another, after all.
Chrysalis watched over the camp while everyling slept, ever the quiet guardian. Their little nests had blankets, tiny pillows and were soft enough on the sands for rest. Now and then, one of them would kick and whine a little. Chrysalis coddled one changeling, then another, like a mother dog with her puppies. She nuzzled them between their wings, humming a vibrato down in her throat to soothe them. When they would go limp she would move on to the next.
Life had been good to the changeling empire these past twelve months or so. The city had risen up about her, the grasses around the river grew thick, and there was food. Food enough for everyling and that made everyling happy. Queen Chrysalis smiled. They worked so hard to please her. For themselves too. None were more selfless than the changelings that worked to make sure the changelings prospered. And noling worked as hard as she!
Chrysalis gave her ethereal mane a toss. She did enjoy her new mane, for it glittered under the starry desert sky and refused all gravity. An eternal wind blew it slowly, luxuriously about. She adored it.
One of her servants whimpered, turning over in her sleep and curling up in a tighter ball. Chrysalis leaned over her, putting her chin between her wings. She hummed for a time, until the poor thing relaxed. It must’ve been a bad dream. She stroked the little one’s back until she purred, and moved on.
“Abandon this road or die on it,” said the changeling she’d just stroked. Chrysalis whirled about with a hiss. The little one was on her hooves, eyes open and rolled into her head. Was she… sleep-talking? Why in the pony tongue?
“Who dares?!” Chrysalis whispered angrily, as not to wake the others and cause a panick. “I see my little changeling but I hear someling else! Who dares?!”
“Why travel back to Celestia’s lands, she will only hurt you again! She doesn’t deserve your presence and neither does Nightmare Moon!” A long line of sand spilled out of the changeling’s mouth. She wandered forward a step, out of her nest. She stumbled comically, but the way she rose again was horrific. All the joints were at odd angles, like an old fashioned wooden puppet. Chrysalis sneered, then hissed with her fangs unfolding. “Celestia plots to kill you as we speak!”
“She cannot, I am a Goddess!” Chrysalis snapped.
“She sealed Nightmare Moon for a millennium, turned Discord to stone for an age, do you think she can’t be rid of you too?! Take everything you ever worked for away from you?!” The changeling’s eyes began to sprout tears. Whatever was possessing her was hurting her. Badly. “Hasn’t she already killed you once…?” her head tilted wayyyyy too far to one side, and Chrysalis’ stomach turned.
“Release my servant!” Chrysalis demanded aloud, growing angrier and angrier. Her entourage began to stir. “Lest I tear your soul in half!”
“Who do you think placed Bandaid in the tallest tower of your city, then set Nightmare Moon on you?! It was just an excuse for more changeling lives to be sacrificed!”
“What?!”
“Who else is fast enough to move that quickly and not be seen?!” The poor changeling began to weep sand out of the sides of her eyes. She coughed a little, and a shrill little squeak began to rise from her throat. “Only… Celestia’hhhh…!” she sighed, then flopped to the ground as though struck dead.
Chrysalis launched herself forward and turned the poor creature over. “Healer!” she shouted to her slowly stirring group. “Get up! Get up this instant!” she roared. The changeling she cradled cried in pain as she tried to work the sand out of her eyes and mouth. What was happening?! Why did she hurt so much?! “Help her!” Chrysalis demanded angrily. He quickly rushed to her side, taking her and laying her out to be examined. The Changeling Queen rose, looking northward. Was it Celestia who stole Bandaid? “But who…?” she murmured, looking down at the poor thing that had been used as a mouthpiece for someling else.
Bandaid and his Mother Dazzle Kick stood in the center of her dojo courtyard. To one side, Rainbow Dash was punching sand in a wok. To the other side, First Aide sat on his haunches with a neutral frown on his face. The other two would-be students had fled only yesterday, citing boulder-related injuries. Ten days of doing very basic exercises had helped Bandaid lose some ‘water weight’, as his mother called it, but it was time to do something a bit more if he was to make progress.
“Should I assume you’ve been eating willy-nilly all you want at the palace in Canterlot?” Dazzle leaned to poke his belly a little.
“I feed myself!” Bandaid said, jittering back and half-whining. “And I live in Ponyville now, you know that.”
“Yes I know that,” she walked about him a few times to see what she had to work with. “Alright, Bandaid. You know I’m training Rainbow Dash there as my protégé. She’s learning all of my moves from the old octagon fights these past few decades. But you know the difference between her and you?”
“She’s an athlete and I’m not?” Bandaid said glumly.
“No. Well, yes, but try again.”
“She’s a mare and I’m a stallion?” Bandaid tried.
“More than that.”
“She’s… got wings?”
“She’s a pegasus, yes,” Dazzle nodded. “And a rather fine specimen, if I must say.” Rainbow didn’t look up from her practice punching, but the egotistical smile flashed across her muzzle when she heard. “She’s got wings, and you’ve got… not wings,” Dazzle trailed off a little as she tried to bring it back around to her point. “Point is, I can’t train you like I train her. You’re an earth pony. You’re gonna get a whole different regiment than she does. So the lesson for today is that you stop comparing yourself to her. Sound good?”
“Alright,” Bandaid said slowly. “You’re still gonna teach me, though, right?” He saw First Aide lean forward with a frown out of the corner of his eye.
“I’m gonna teach you to not get taken by an attacker,” Dazzle chose her words carefully and the look in her eye said she was very aware that her husband was watching these lessons like a hawk. “I will teach you to disable, paralyze, knock-out and escape. Understand?” She waited for her son to nod. “I’m gonna show you dodging techniques, deflection techniques, and a little bit of offense in case there’s no escaping your attacker. Now then…” she reached into her saddlebag and produced a tiny red flag. Going over near Rainbow Dash’s practice area, she planted it on the ground. It was only a few inches high. Then she went over to First Aide and planted a yellow flag. “Your Dad is the start, and Rainbow Dash is the finish.” She told him. Then she reached again and gave him a mace can.
“Is… is this mace?” Bandaid read the label with concern.
“It’s more reliable than you punching somebody, ‘Princess’!” Rainbow called with a snigger.
“Add an extra hundred punches to your practice, Rainbow,” Dazzle barked, looking over her shoulder. “And don’t interrupt.” Rainbow grumbled, regretting herself. Dazzle returned her attention to her son. “Now, put that in your saddlebag and go from yellow flag to red flag. I’ll be your attacker.”
“My what?” Bandaid blanched.
“Your attacker. Your kidnapper. Whatever it is that you’re so scared of you want a former octagon champion to train you to overcome,” Dazzle said, turning serious. She stood in the middle of the dojo courtyard and waited for him. “Go on, now,” she gestured with a hoof. Bandaid went over and stood by his father. First Aide shrugged up at him. The brown stallion reached into his saddle bag for his mace. “Why’re you grabbing that?” Dazzle asked. “No one’s attacking you! You can’t wander around with your weapon out all the time!” Rainbow sniggered again, biting her tongue from a that’s-what-she-said joke. “Now, walk from yellow flag to red flag!” Bandaid did so, cantering slowly. As he neared his mother, he tensed up, but she let him by. He reached the red flag. “Again!” she said. She had him do this a number of times, until the eighth time when she grabbed him from behind. “Does this smell like chloroform to you?” She put a wet rag over his muzzle and less than gently WHOMP’D him onto his back.
“Mom!” he groaned, turning over and struggling to his hooves. “This isn’t a movie, chloroform takes like six minutes to knock a pony out! It's an anesthetic!”
Dazzle looked at her husband. He nodded stoically. She whapped Bandaid with the rag, “Don’t ruin my fun,” she snapped. “Go again.” Dazzle waited a random number of times for him to go by her before she grabbed him up again. Bandaid leaned forward with all his weight, trying to anchor himself with his hooves. Dazzle shifted herself, grabbing him by the chest and hip before tossing him onto his back and dropping the rag on his muzzle. “No. Again.” They went again, and again, and again. Bandaid hit the ground every single time, on his back with a grunt. “Again!” Whump. “Again!” Whump! “AGAIN!” Whump! Bandaid gave her a wider berth after that. “Therrrre you go, you’re suspicious of me, therefore you don’t walk close to me!” Dazzle praised at last. He breathed easier when he got to the red flag. “Again!” she waited a few more trips, then tried to grab him. Bandaid launched himself forward and she grabbed his saddlebags instead. He reached up before she could get a hold of him, snapping the little clip open. “That’s right, the bag isn’t worth your life! Leave it behind! Good, good!” She nodded.
The next few hours were a slow burn of walking from A to B and getting thrown on the ground, or pinned, or wrestled to a stop until he tapped out. Dazzle showed him no mercy.
“Wow, he’s actually getting there! Hehehe~!” CLANG, Rainbow’s hoof struck the lip of the wok rather than the sand within. Skin slashed open. She let out a howl as droplets of blood spattered the ground. She hunched, holding herself with clenched teeth. “Aahhhhh! Sssssss….. Aaahhhhh! Ssssss….. Aaahhhhh!” She staggered back a little, red going down the front of her leg.
“Rainbow!” Bandaid skirted past his mother without meaning to. She reached to grab him, but he tap-tapped her shoulder twice and was behind her. Bee-lining for the injured pegasus, he didn’t see his mother’s startled expression. He’d aimed so high to get around her… did he do that to shuffle past Nightmare Moon? “Oh jeez, that looks pretty bad,” he opened his saddle bag and set it next to himself.
“It’s nothing!” Rainbow said between clenched teeth. “Gerrof!”
“It’s bleeding is what it is,” Bandaid said clinically, kneeling down next to her. She tried to back up, but couldn’t do much more than scoot on her butt without her front two legs. Trainee Bandaid was gone, Nurse Bandaid was there now. Dazzle Kick opened her mouth to protest. Rainbow Dash was tougher than that! “Looks like you nicked something, hang on, I’ve got a… ah-hah.” He used a sterile wet wipe on her ankle and fetlock area, finding the cut. It was three inches long and bleeding. Murmuring and tutting to himself more than anything, he set out his little healer’s kit without so much as a word. “Can’t let you bleed all over everything,” he said in a peppy talk as he got a mild solution onto a dry patch.
Dazzle Kick saw her husband’s wide and happy grin from all the way across the yard. She frowned at him. He giggled quietly. Still his son, it seemed.
Bandaid gave her a two-wrap gauze and pinned it with a safety pin, using his mouth. “Jeez,” Rainbow said, looking to away with a slight flush. “You do this all the time, huh?”
“It’s my job,” Bandaid said brightly. “I’d stop for today if I were you, at least let that scab over. If you keep training today, it might rip itself open and start bleeding again.”
Rainbow looked at Dazzle Kick, who gave only a nod. “A-alright, I could use an afternoon nap anyway.” She darted skyward, leaving the blood on the wok and across the ground in front of Bandaid. He got a spare rag from his medical pack to make sure it didn’t dry there. He watched her flight path to a cloud above the hot spring. Ahhh, that was how she slept outside in November. Her little cloud home was right above the hot spring. He leaned to scrape at the wok with a laceration cleaning knife.
“GOTCHA!” Dazzle Kick grabbed him about the neck and hauled him back. “Does this smell like chloro-!” Bandaid squealed in surprise and stabbed her in the arm. “AH-HOWCH?!” she flailed away, spattering blood across the ground. “You stabbed me!” she shouted, faltering on her leg and staggering.
“Oh jeez, Mom!” Bandaid was on his hooves right away and First Aide rushed to her side from where he sat. “Oh you’re bleeding everywhere! Oh you’re bleeding everywhere! Did I hit a vein?!” Panic set in. This wasn’t a patient, this was his mother!
First Aide shouldered past his son, his own medical pack bursting open as he did so. It unrolled like a bandoleer, displaying his shining silvery tools. “Glad I kept these!”
Some hours later Dazzle Kick was less than thrilled, sitting on the side-lines while her son swept the dojo courtyard with a tiny broom. He stared carefully at his work and not at her. Her wrapped leg had stopped bleeding, but she was very surly. “Now how do I teach him? I’m injured,” she grumbled. First Aide appeared at her side with her daily medicinal tea tray. She reached for a little sandwich but he swatted her hoof and made her take the tea first. She grumbled, but obeyed her husband. “Happy now?” she gestured to her wrapped leg.
“Don’t be cross,” First Aide said. “Be happy that he’s at least quick enough to react.”
“I guess there’s that,” Dazzle admitted grumpily.
“Besides, look how sorry he is,” First Aide said, trying to balm the hot coals of her indignant anger. “He won’t even look at you.”
“Mm,” Dazzle said neutrally. “Maybe Rainbow can help teach him,” she pondered. “These changeling things he’s told us about have wings, right? They’re prolly light and flighty like she is. It would be a closer match to what he’s actually facing.”
First Aide rolled his eyes, “Yes dear.”
Later That Night…
Bandaid didn’t really know what he was doing, but it didn’t seem like the wrong thing to do. He sat by the hot springs. Making double sure Rainbow Dash was not around, he spoke to the night. “I know you’re there,” he said aloud. There was no response from the darkness. “I’m not stupid. I know Nightie is having you watch over me in case I’m attacked. I dunno if you’re alive or something in the same way ponies are, but I’d bet bits to branches that you’re staring at me right now.” Leaning, he slowly looked up at Luna. She glimmered innocently at him. “You’ve been full for the past three days. That’s not natural.” Luna gave a proverbial start. “Nightie says that you have conversations with her, and that you’ve… watched us make love,” he looked to one side, blushing. “I dunno if that means you could deliver a message for me, but… I guess the best I can do is ask and the worst you can do is say nothing.” Luna, of course, said nothing, but she did listen. “Tell Nightie I’m doing just fine? That I love her?” he asked, steepling his hooves as though in prayer. “My Mom and Dad are taking good care of me, and I’ve made a new friend. I’m gonna stay here for a while to learn to defend myself under my mother’s tutoring. Thanks, erm… amen,” he concluded, offering a shy smile. Luna rolled her proverbial eyes a little. Amen indeed. He was lucky he was cute when he made that face. Then she watched him bathe.
*****
Chrysalis and her entourage arrived at the drawbridge of the Palace of Canterlot. The seven changeling guards flanked her, four carried her litter and one lay unconscious across her lap. Only when the entire group was inside the palace proper did she give any sort of reaction to the many, many pony guards that had formed a loose ring around them. “Hush, and shush!” she boomed, slowly standing. She paused to pull a blanket over the injured of her number. “If you’ve a pony that calls himself healer, bring him forth. One of ours was badly hurt in the journey.” A messenger was sent scrambling and the litter was lowered to the ground. She pushed past the curtains of the litter and out into the sunlight. She grumbled at the massive, sweeping ivory white halls. White and gold and marble, everywhere she looked. “Tell the great white bitch that I’ve arrived as promised. Princess Nightmare Moon is expecting me.”
“Th-this way to the throne room, erm… erm… your majesty,” the escort bowed low before her. She followed him, leaving her litter and guards behind. She was a goddess, she feared no pony in this building.
“I leave Chirrup in your hooves. Do not disappoint me,” she told the other eleven changelings. They bowed low and went into the litter to fetch her and bear her to the medical wing of the palace, under the watchful eye of the pony guards. The poor thing had to be put under a sleepy spell to get any rest at all, traumatized by whatever sand demon had taken a hold of her on the journey here. “Have my usual chambers been prepared?”
“Oh yes, your Majesty,” the escort said as they walked deeper into the palace. “The deepest part of the dungeons. Doors removed, pillows stocked as requested.” He smiled at her, but she merely nodded that she’d heard him. They walked in silence for a time, until finally they arrived at the massive golden double doors. Chrysalis couldn’t smell Celestia’s divine aura. Odd… Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “H-how should I announce your entrance?” he offered the formality.
Chrysalis tossed her ethereal mane with a haughty chuckle. “I like doing things myself. Now toddle.” She dismissed him. Lighting her horn, she threw the doors open with a measure of her might. They crashed open with her sickly green aura surrounding them. “I have arrived!” she trumpeted to the room. Twilight Sparkle startled upright in the throne, offering her most dazzling smile of greeting. “What the-?!” Chrysalis said dumbly. Catching herself, she snarled a bit. “Where is Celestia?!” she demanded. “How dare you sit on the throne of a goddess, my little pony?!” Guards closed ranks about the dais, forming a line of shining golden armor between her and the startled looking young mare. They scowled openly at her.
“I am sitting in her place while she attends to… uhm… personal matters,” Twilight said politely, touching the golden circlet on her head that ordained her the rank to sit upon the seat of power. “I-mean-ah… HAIL!” The protocol was there, and everypony in the room bowed low to her. “To you Chrysalis, Queen of the Changeling Empire and all her holdings! Child of Faust, Goddess of~!”
“Yes, yes, thank you,” Chrysalis said shortly. Though she did stop to admire all the bowing around her. Finally some respect. “Hail as well to you, eh, Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight leaned forward on the throne with a great big smile, clearly expecting more. “I’ve no idea of your rank or standing, little one,” Chrysalis said just a little bit grumpily. Twilight wilted visibly, crestfallen. “But you sit in Celestia’s stead, so proper respect must be due.” She gave a slow and easy bow that did not linger for but a few moments. She honestly looked like she’d spotted a bit on the ground and had stopped to pick it up. “If you will tell me where I can find my sisters while my servants settle in I will leave your stewarding court and get out of your mane, my dear ‘niece’.”
“Erm, w-well,” Twilight’s confidence faltered. “Princess Celestia is busy at the moment, as I said. And Nightmare Moon is asleep. Come sunset they will be gathering for their evening dinner, I am sure you could join them then.” The purple mare offered an apologetic smile.
“Very well,” Chrysalis turned quickly and easily. “I will join my servants in the palace dungeons. Let none disturb us that don’t wish to die a rather gruesome death to changeling fangs.” She fluttered her insectoid wings open, buzzed a few inches into the air and was away before Twilight could say anything more.
Later…
When the dinner hour finally came, the moon was high in the sky. The royal dining room was a sight to behold. Celestia, Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, Cadance and Twilight Sparkle all sat at the same table. Four children of Faust, all under one roof, at the same table. The tingle of power and magic gathered in the room made Twilight scratch at her inner ear more than a few times. The very air seemed to shimmer now and then as the auras of the four gods mixed, tossed and mingled like so much oil and water. “Well this is… unexpected,” Celestia allowed herself to say. “We’ve not seen you in over a year, Chrysalis. How have you been?”
“Less hungry, very productive,” Chrysalis lifted an empty cup to her lips, more to be polite than anything. She didn’t eat food like they did. “The Changeling Empire flourishes under my guiding hoof. The capital is finished to my designed, and growing by the week to suite everyling. The changelings that voluntarily went into hibernation during the hard times are being awakened bit by bit. Housing is a problem, but we make do.”
“And the river?” Celestia asked.
“Flowing nicely. All the bags of grass seed we’ve gotten from you northerners is working wonderfully. Keeps the erosion at bay.” The Changeling Queen smiled rather pleasantly. She felt Twilight Sparkle staring at her. “What?” she barked a little more harshly than she meant.
“You just… look so different!” Twilight said, touching her circlet to make sure it was on straight.
“Less starved and skeletal? No longer full of holes?” Chrysalis smirked at her until she nodded. “Well, you’d be surprised how healthy you look when you’re topped off with mother’s love.” She tossed her ethereal mane a little, letting it flow in the air around her.
“I sort of know what you mean…” Twilight murmured, smiling shyly at her plate. The day with the perfume had really stuck with her, and she’d even asked Celestia the brand name so she might have some for herself. Chrysalis eyed the little burst of love radiating from the purple mare, and her feelers flexed down into view. She squinted suddenly, flinching like she’d been flashed by a camera. She glanced at Cadance, who was an absolute bonfire of love energy. She’d forgotten she was there for a moment. No changeling could feed on that without bursting, much less look at her on the magical level. It was like looking into the sun. Speaking of the sun…
“Well,” Chrysalis heaved a big breath after the meal was well underway, “Let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room, shall we?” While her siblings ate, her wings buzzed a few times and she unrolled a map on the table between everypony’s plates and her own. “We all know the story by now. Nightmare’s beau got snatched from his house and dropped into mine. Nightmare thought it was a kidnapping and murdered thirty-seven,” she paused to glare at her, “Of my people in her rampage to reach him, when she could have very easily just flown to the upper tower.” Nightmare went hot in the face. “I’m keeping that morning star, by the way. It’s solid silver and should help to pay for the funerals once I melt it down.” Nightmare’s muzzle scrunched and she looked guiltily to one side. “We’ve since established neither I nor anyling under my hoof took the stallion. So--!”
“So the question becomes who took him, and how he ended up in…” Nightmare traced her hoof from Canterlot to the Badlands border, to the changeling capital city. “Er, what’s it called?”
“Gnosis,” Chrysalis said plainly.
“You named your city ‘Knowledge’?” Twilight wondered aloud.
“I let my people name it,” Chrysalis said indignantly. “They built it, after all, not I. A few centuries of planning, waiting, and drawing up blueprints to make something so grand; I suppose it seemed fitting.”
“That’s really nice of you!” Twilight smiled wide.
“Mm,” Chrysalis allowed. There was a short, awkward silence.
“So, given that Chrysalis did not take Bandaid, then whom?” Celestia wanted to know. “The Equestrian record for teleportation by magic is…” she paused to think.
“Five hundred and twenty-two meters,” Twilight said automatically. “Done by a stallion named Snap Step over three centuries ago. He slept for two days in a hospital afterword, from the mana strain.”
There was a stunned silence and Chrysalis snarked, “Faust, what’re you making this child read?”
“Whatever she wants and more,” Celestia said just a little testily.
“Ahem,” Cadance said, to reel them in. “So no teleporting.”
The Changeling Queen murmured down a few options. “It takes two weeks to travel from Gnosis to Canterlot on hoof, and a few days by train though no such track exists. The river would be too slow as well, no boat is that fast. Sheer speed, then?” Chrysalis slowly, slowly turned her head towards Celestia. Cadance saw her looking, and looked at their sun-powered sibling as well. “How fast would you say your Sun-Step is, Cellie?” Her lopsided, fang-filled smile was just a liiiiittle bit accusatory.
“More than fast enough to-!” Celestia stopped herself. “You don’t think I took him?!” She stood with an angry frown. “I would never!” Cadance reached and touched her hoof. The white mare heaved a deep breath to calm herself, then slowly sat again. After a moment to collect herself, she spoke again. “I could not grab Bandaid in Ponyville and then Sun-Step all the way to the Changeling Empire,” she said carefully. “His neck would break.”
“Hrm?” Twilight asked.
“When I Sun-Step, I can move as fast as sunlight breaking the horizon,” Celestia told Twilight. “The sudden burst of speed would pull his poor body apart. Or at the very least crush his ribs and destroy his heart.” Nightmare shuddered at the description, trying not to imagine Celestia turning Bandaid into a pancake. She touched her hoof to her chin. “I mean, I suppose I could hold his neck or place him in a brace of some sort, but the sheer momentum would break his body. There would be no stopping it.”
Chrysalis thought this over for a time, remembering her little run in with whatever-it-was out in the desert. She didn’t sense malice from her sister. Though, she never did until it was too late. The queen-mask expression she always wore was well practiced. “Well, there’s one other thing to do then.”
“What’s that?” Nightmare wanted to know.
“We go to his home and examine the scene of the kidnapping,” Chrysalis said. She turned to look at Nightmare Moon. “Where is he staying?” Nightmare’s muzzle scrunched at the idea of showing all her siblings exactly where her beloved had moved to, to be away from all this drama and nonsense. Seeming to sense this, Chrysalis smiled with all her fangs. “I’m topped off, Nightie, and so is my hive. I’ve no reason to take him from you anymore. I promise.”
“Thy promises drip with honey and snake venom,” Nightmare grumbled, unconvinced and staring at her plate instead of her sibling.
“We all signed the golden contract,” Celestia reminded her. This seemed to placate the Princess of the Night, but not by much. “We need to know, Nightie. So we can unravel this mystery and see who is trying to set we gods on a war path with one another.”
The black mare hesitated for a long time, her eyes going from sibling to sibling. She didn’t like it. She didn’t want to expose Bandaid to all this. Not again. He’d moved out of the palace for a reason. Revealing his dwelling would be a deep betrayel of his trust but… Celestia was right. “He… he has a house in Ponyville, in the valley ‘neath Canterlot herself,” she finally told them. “Come with me after dinner, I will show you.”
“It’ll take a train hours to reach the next town over, why not go tomorrow?” Cadance asked, fork pausing on its way to her mouth.
“I’ve another way,” Nightmare said, shaking her head. “Eat your fill, I must prepare. Come to the Obsidian Hall when you’re ready to depart.” She levitated a fruit from the trays in front of them and wiped her mouth daintily, as only a princess knew how. Turning, she left to go uncover the magic mirror in her room. She was grateful Bandaid was away visiting his parents. He would not appreciate four of the children of Faust suddenly piling into his bedroom.
Luna murmured with disapproval as Nightmare moved the mirror to the center of the room, in front of her desk. The black mare grumbled back at her, not interested in what she had to say. Until Luna brought up Bandaid, that is, “He said ‘amen’ to you?” Nightmare found herself giggling. “That’s so sweet!” Even miles away, her beloved could draw a smile to her face. Now, she had to bring three other gods to his home and root through his things. He wouldn’t be pleased… She stuck her head through the magic mirror to make sure he was not home. Nopony was there. She breathed a sigh of relief.
It was a quiet night in the sleepy little town of Ponyville when four of the five children of Faust arrived. Unicorn foals, warm in their beds, fretted at the sudden influx of magic into the area. Even the adults murmured amongst themselves, frowning and sniffing at the air a little. Oil, rain-pregnant wind, soaps, vanilla, sugar and cinnamon, lavender and burnt firewood. The scent of strong magical auras pervaded in the atmosphere and seemed to make the very air heavy. Nopony was out in the street right then. The moon was high, the dinner hour was over, and everypony had retreated to their homes for the night. The beginnings of December had given the little hamlet snow, and everypony stayed warm and snug in their homes and beds. This was probably for the best, as the shimmer of light in Nurse Bandaid’s home was quite bright when the gods of Equis arrived.
Celestia promptly scraped her horn on the ceiling and ducked a little before she flicked it with magic to mend it. She, Cadance, Chrysalis and Nightmare peered about. “Remember,” Nightmare warned in a low voice. “We are here to look for evidence, not to root through his things. Disturbing things as they lay could destroy evidence.”
“Agreed,” Celestia said quickly, not wanting to intrude too much.
“You two are no fun,” Cadance snickered a little. “I wanna see what sort of stallion Nightie has been with this past couple of years. Dibs on the kitchen!” she pushed the bedroom door open, trotting away. “The way to a stallion’s heart is through his stomach!” she sing-songed as she went.
“I’ll go with her,” Celestia promised with an apologetic smile to Nightmare.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes, but did not move. “If there’s anything, it will be here,” she said, making for the sitting room. Her wings buzzed a bit, lifting her off the bright manilla carpet.
Bandaid’s home was a humble one. One bedroom, one bathroom, sitting room, kitchen, a few closets and a tiny storage room. It was relatively cleanly, no deep stains on the rugs or walls, and it wasn’t the worst paint job any of them had ever seen. There was a little bit of water damage in one of the corners of the kitchen, but nothing terrible. The house smelled a little. Not a bad smell, mind you. Just a stallion’s smell. A lived-in, bachelor’s pad sort of smell. Sort of like a corn tortilla or a salty chip. He’d not been home for a couple of weeks so there was a bit of dust here and there, but otherwise it seemed like a very normal pony’s dwelling.
Chrysalis peered around the living room with bald curiosity. The bookshelf hosted a whole row of Ponies and Castles books, a radio, a line of tiny plastic figurines, some picture frames of ponies she didn’t recognize, and a meager music collection. A pair of spider-webbed barbells sat sadly in the corner, five pounds each. A pile of mail was on the table. She pawed through this and that, but saw nothing unusual. His couch, his sitting chair, the windows… it was all so ordinary. Her eyes rested on a poster frame of a map of Maredore. Why, that wasn’t even a real country! The Queen rolled her eyes, sticking her head under the couch for a few moments. Nothing.
Celestia and Cadance emerged into Bandaid’s kitchen. A tiny, two-pony table sat right next to a little counter that hosted a toaster oven, fridge, sink and simple windows. His back door led to a tiny backyard with a garden that looked like it had never been touched since he’d moved in. The pink alicorn opened the fridge. Empty, save for a single can of pop and a baking soda box. “He must’ve known he was going to be gone for a while.” She checked the freezer. Also empty. “Hum,” Cadance shrugged a little as Celestia peered about the simple tile floor.
“No signs of forced entry,” the white alicorn was trying to stay on task, checking the frame of the back door for signs of breakage.
Nightmare Moon had allowed her siblings to fan out into the house so she could check the bedroom herself. There was no doubt in her mind her beloved had been snatched in his sleep to prevent a struggle. A sleeping drought or any such thing waved under his nose would’ve kept him in dreamland no matter how he was mare-handled out of his house. She pulled the bedspread to look for alchemy stains. None. She checked in the corners. She pulled his bedside drawer. Aspirin, sleepy pills, a dirty paperback novel, a box of lavender nose strips. Nightmare tapped her chin with a hoof, looking about. His medical degree was hung proudly on the wall… tilted. “Huhm?” she said, reaching and lighting her horn. She righted it slowly and a spill of sand hussshed from behind it to the floor. “Termites?” she wondered, pulling it off the wall. A clod of sand sat in a rather large hole in the wall. No. A hidden niche. Next to it sat a humble-looking piggybank of porcelain. Nightmare snickered a little, reaching and jingling it a little. It was heavy. A little note attached read ‘Vacation Funds, DO NOT TOUCH!’ “Cute,” she said, putting it back. The sand clod was gone. She replaced the picture on the wall, making sure it was straight. She dusted the top with a brush of her hoof. As she turned around, she saw the sand clod tumbling away and under the bed. “Oh dear,” she mumbled, lighting her horn and lifting the entire bed to fetch it. What she found made her shriek in surprise.
“What?! What is it?!” Chrysalis, Cadance and Celestia crowded the doorway. A five-foot-wide sinkhole was hidden under Bandaid’s bed. Nightmare set the bed against the wall, leaning over it and lighting her horn for light. It was like a tunnel. Fifteen feet down it led southward and away. Chrysalis poked a loose rock. No reaction from the shadows below. A small tufting sound said it landed in loose sand somewhere below.
“I’ll look,” the Changeling Queen said with some authority. “But if I find some sort of kinky sex dungeon down here I’m blaming you, Nightie.”
“Bandaid would never!” Nightmare said angrily. “Clearly this is our napper’s entrance!”
“Agreed,” Celestia said. “This is big enough for us— it’s big enough for Bandaid to be whisked away through.” She checked her wingspan against the size of the hole. Even an alicorn with folded wings could fit comfortably down there.
They watched Chrysalis light herself up with a bright, neon green glow of changeling magic. Fastening her hooves to the sides of the sink hole, she motored down the sides like an insect. Folding herself flatter and flatter, she rounded the corner. Nothing. Leaning with a scowl, she scratched her hoof along the ground a bit. Sand. She frowned severely. Had the tunnel been collapsed, or had there been one there to begin with? “What do you see?!” Cadance called down.
“It’s a dead end.” Chrysalis took another cursory look about, then turned around to rejoin her siblings. She emerged with a troubled frown, eyes squinted. “How did he not notice this since his return?”
“Do you ever check under your bed for extra tunnels?” Nightmare scoffed. The changeling Queen gave her a look. “Clearly I am asking the wrong goddess,” she grumbled, rolling her eyes. “If only I’d been here the night of, perhaps I would’ve fought off this attacker,” Nightmare said glumly after a time.
An idea sparked across Chrysalis’ mind’s eye for a moment and she thrust a hoof up. “Ah! I know!” she grinned with all her fangs. “We can ask our dear brother!”
Celestia seemed hesitant. “I know he has Mother’s eyes, but… must we?”
“He’s so… unpredictable,” Cadance said, looking rather worried at the mere idea.
“He can see the past and present exactly as it happened. That is the best tool we can possibly hope for in this situation. One side, cowards,” Chrysalis smoothed her ethereal mane for a moment, coughed twice, and made herself look regal and presentable. “Oh Discooorrrrrd?” she called her brother by name. “Discord, brother, dear?” she asked, making puppy eyes at the wall. The other three children of Faust made rather sickened faces. Discord favored Chrysalis over the others, Faust knew why, but he was more likely to come when she called since to call his name-!
“—is to draw his eyes upon you!” Discord snapped into existence with a crack of parted air. Soap bubbled rained down his front and he spattered Bandaid’s bedroom rug with bath toys and water. “I swear it never fails, you’re taking a bath and there’s a call of one’s name.” he squeak-squeaked a rubber ducky before tossing it over his shoulder. It burst into ashes. “Hello? Ah! Chryssi!” he threw his mismatched arms around her.
Ponyville murmured. Each and every home in town seemed to ache and grown. All five gods had gathered in a single place all at once. The doorframes ached, the shutters flickered a little, candles lit all by themselves, scaring citizens far and wide. Baby unicorns all over town mewled and began to whimper and fuss, waking their parents. They were still very sensitive to the scent and feel of magic, unable to ignore even the slightest change in the tides of power in the world around them. A whistling little gait made citizens all double-check that their doors were locked. An eerie silence settled over the town as even wind seemed to fail dear Ponyville. As though the world were watching, waiting, holding its breath for such a gathering.
“Brother dear,” Chrysalis greeted sweetly.
Discord’s smile widened as he vanished the bubbles, dried the waters instantly, and banished to bath toys to random toy boxes around the world. He squeezed his baby sister tight, then set her down again. Rearing up on his back legs with a bit of a snort, he promptly bashed his head on the ceiling with a yap. “Ach, where’ve you brought me, it’s so cramped!” he shrank in size until the ceiling was no longer a problem. “This isn’t your hive chambers!”
“It’s complicated,” Chrysalis gestured to everypony else present.
Discord gave a genuinely startled pause before his usual snaggle-tooth’d smile returned. The brief moment of seeing under his shields made Celestia lean forward with a gentle smile. “Discord, how have you been?” she asked. “I heard you’d been spotted on the edges of the Tri-Corn mountains, planting trees at all angles!”
To everyone’s surprise, his smile fell for a moment. “Yes. A tribute to the diseased.”
“Diseased?” Nightmare tilted her head a little.
“All the ones I killed. One tree for each soul I killed.”
There was a deafening silence. Snow swirled outside, and Bandaid’s house groaned a little. They all stared at him, more than a little shocked. Chrysalis was the first to recover and coughed a little, putting an arm about her brother’s shoulders before one of his darker moods got a hold of him. “W-Well, perhaps you can help your sisters and take a brief respite?”
“Anything for you, Chryssi,” he said with a snark of a smile, scrubbing the top of her head with his lion-paw hand. “Pray tell.” They briefly explained what was going on, and the mystery laid out before them. “You know I hate giving things away to others,” he said, folding his arms and looking to one side. “Spoilers never help any story develop the way it’s supposed to. It’s cheating!” he stuck his forked tongue out before winking at (reader's name here).
“To know the future is to change it,” Celestia said wisely. “But we need a glimpse of the past, so we may know who is trying to set us on each other.” She gestured to Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis with concern.
Discord sighed and grumbled to himself for a few moments. “Fine. One room. One look. No more. I’m not your mirror to see into the past at will. And I’ll be expecting payment,” he rubbed his thumb and forefinger together in a money-honey sort of gesture.
“What do you want?” Chrysalis asked innocently.
“I’ll decide later,” Discord said cryptically. “But when I call you for a favor, you will obey. Yes? Take it or leave it.” There was a short silence, until Chrysalis drew herself up and nodded seriously. “Very well. Let’s see then.” Discord’s pupils began to slowly expand until his eyes turned completely black. The eyes of Faust saw the past perfectly, could see everything in the present without error, and could glimpse the glimmers of the future. Mother’s Eyes. Discord’s Eyes. He could see anything, anytime, anywhere. “Hrm,” he said, putting his hands on his hips. He walked up the wall, then stood on the ceiling, looking curiously about.
Discord watched the sun and moon fly about, backward, counting days back. Ponies raced by as colored blurs. Plants shrank. The lawn grew tidier. Weeds wilted back into ground. Bandaid left for his parent’s house. Then he returned and flopped backward into bed. Then he dashed about the house, to and fro, walking in reverse. Food left his mouth and went back into the fridge, made whole. He dirtied himself in the shower, grabbing his medical bag and walking backwards to the end of his shift at the local hospital, Ponyville General. Then he returned clean and groomed for the start of his day. He regurgitated his breakfast onto his plate, returned it to the fridge, hopped back into bed… Discord skipped back and back until he arrived on the proper night.
“Can you see anything?” Nightmare Moon’s voice was very far away.
“I see everything,” Discord’s voice made his four sisters shiver and press together like a frightened herd of cattle. “Everything, all at once. Just gotta focus… a moment, hang on…” he startled when his vision was suddenly obscured. “Eh?” His eyes had not left Bandaid’s house, but the whole thing was billowing about like—! “A sandstorm,” he murmured, his brow furrowing.
“A sandstorm?” Cadance asked. “In the house?” She almost shrieked when Discord’s dead black gaze turned in her direction. He looked through her and into the past. The all-seeing-eyes of Mother never failed to pierce her very heart like a splash of ice water. The eyes were the windows to the soul, and when Discord used his Mother’s eyes, it was like he had no soul at all. Merely time. Time and forever and everywhere. She squeezed her eyes shut with a shiver, touching the doorframe so she wouldn’t fall over. Celestia stood next to her, carefully averting her gaze.
“Treacherous,” Discord said to the doorway where they all stood. “Treacherous indeed…” he watched the sandstorm billow about the house, obscuring his vision. He leaned over Bandaid’s bed, watching a tendril of earth and stone snake its way free. The stallion lay sleeping, hugging a pillow and resting peacefully. The long tentacle of earth snaked its way between his legs, past his groin and his ribs and his neck—up to his muzzle. It grew into a cone shape, then thrust itself over his face. A light whimper was all that was heard, and his brown body flushed to a deep grey of stone and rock. “Oh my…” Discord said, watching the cone grow bigger until it sucked him in like a vacuum. Statue Bandaid was quickly collected and pulled under the bed. He CLANGED against the ground like metal. Ah, not stone, he’d been turned into a durable metal statue. “Interesting!” Discord said, sticking his head under the bed to watch Bandaid be pulled through his own floorboards and into a sinkhole. As soon as he was submerged, the lump that showed where he was ZIPPED away as though it were a fish in water. “Well then,” the god of chaos said slowly, standing erect again.
“What did you see?” Chrysalis said urgently. Discord’s gaze flicked her way and she shuddered, grabbing the doorframe a little. His gaze was too much even for she. Celestia flicked her body temperature a bit higher so she would not suffer. Lifting her wings and folding them over her sisters’ backs, she encased Cadance and Chrysalis into her body heat. Both of them sighed in relief, sagging against her. The room began to swelter in the sun goddess’ aura. Nightmare stood there, carefully watching her brother’s feet and not looking into his eyes while he worked.
“You have such an interesting taste in villains,” Discord said slowly, watching an unfamiliar figure cross the room. Whoever it was, it was vaguely pony-shaped. Earth and sand swirled all over its body, never really resting. And the face. There was no face, not really. Slits for eyes, yes, but… it was hard to even get a gender out of the craggy thing. Discord leaned back and forth around the figure to get a better look, but it was merely an image, not something he could touch or affect.
“Mistress,” it was a double-voice, but mostly female in the echoes of the past. “It is done. Bandaid is on his way to the Changeling Empire.” Discord leaned verrrrry close, trying to get a good look but just as suddenly the figure dissolved into earth and rock, sifting under the bed and into the sinkhole. Out of sight.
“An elemental…?” Discord wondered aloud. “No, no… something more potent,” he tapped his chin a few times. After moving back and forth in time to watch the scene a few times over from different angles, he returned his gaze to the present. “It’s safe now,” he told the four of them.
“What did you see?” Chrysalis shouldered her way out of Celestia’s protective wings. He told them in detail. “A metal statue?” The changeling Queen wondered. “Well that makes more sense, given his rate of travel.”
“I could transport a metal statue of a stallion from A to B without destroying it, with my Sun-Step,” Celestia offered before she was asked. “But we know it wasn’t me, by the evidence we just heard.”
“Well, your sand mare is certainly an interesting pony,” Discord said. “As soon as she came apart and rejoined the earth, I couldn’t see her at all!” he returned from the ceiling back to the floor, so he was upright again. “But yes, turning your Nurse Bandaid into a statue for quick transport isn’t the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. He’d be less likely to break under the strain of magical travel like that-!”
“—Only to be restored back to normal in time for us to fight over him,” Nightmare said, looking at Chrysalis.
The Changeling Queen nodded with a troubled frown. “A sand mare, you say,” she said slowly. “I know of no such magic.”
“High-end transmutation isn’t out of the question,” Celestia said thoughtfully, sitting on his haunches. Cadance emerged from under her wing as she spoke. “Turning ponies into statuary was a popular punishment, once upon a time,” she winced when Discord folded his arms at her. “Er, that is…”
“It’s behind us now,” Discord said just a little crabbily.
“But Discord is right, at least that piece of the puzzle is in place,” Celestia quickly amended. “Turning Bandaid into a metal statue would make him very easy to transport at any sort of magical speed. And keeping him underground would keep anypony from seeing where he was being taken.”
“But whom? And why?” Nightmare demanded.
“That remains to be seen,” Discord said neutrally, walking up the wall and sitting on a curtain rod as though he weighed nothing.
“Well, look and see!” Nightmare said loudly. “Look upon Gnosis and see who emerged from the earth with Bandaid in tow! Perhaps they betrayed their face when restoring him to flesh and blood.”
“We had a deal,” Discord said, shaking his head. “One room. One look. One favor in return. No more. I would hate to give too much away and let everything just solve itself in a nice neat little bow. What’s the fun in that?!” he guffawed a little, turning upside down and hanging off the curtain rod like he was a foal on the monkey bars at school. Nightmare harrumphed at him. “Besides, I would hate for all my dear siblings to owe me favors all at once,” his lip curled a little and Cadance shuddered. “But I know Chrysalis gives the best… favors,” he wandered down the wall again, and into the sitting room. They followed him and he tapped one of Bandaid’s Ponies and Castle’s figurines. The tiny, five-inch-tall red dragon burst to life, yowling a tiny roar and spitting sparks. It spread its wings and flapped away like a bird, hiding who-knew-where in Bandaid’s house as it screeched territorially.
****
December had come to Dazzle Kick’s dojo. A quartet of woks had been lit ablaze with firewood, and a canopy of brown fabric kept the heat in, while being thin enough to let sunlight in. It was pretty toasty, really. And it made for a great practicing ground for Bandaid and Rainbow Dash. Dazzle was resting her injured leg, but Rainbow had recovered much more quickly. She’d been tasked with teaching Bandaid some very basic wrestling moves, and she was certainly hooves-on with her own lessons. The dotted bruises all over the stallion’s body was more than proof of that.
“Are you trying to hump me, or what?” Rainbow demanded while Bandaid awkwardly wrestled with her. “C’mon! You gotta grab more firmly. You’re an earth pony, let’s see that terra strength!” So far, the stallion had been a complete loss. The cyan mare was barely trying! But finally he’d managed a very basic, two-shoulder pin that… honestly… looked like he was trying to mount her.
“Shut up!” Bandaid said defensively. “I’m trying!”
“—trying to hump me, is what you’re trying,” Rainbow sniggered, wiggling free with a bit more strength than before. Bandaid reared up and put a bit more pressure on her left shoulder while pressing hard down the center of her back. Snap-crackle-pop-pop-pop. Her back popped gloriously, in a way only an athlete’s can after years of bodily punishment. Rainbow Dash groannnned, going limp.
“Oh jeez did I hurt you?!” Bandaid said, brow going up.
“No no! Do that again!” Rainbow demanded, spreading her wings out so he could reach easier.
“Uhh, oo-kay,” he carefully repeated the motion. Crackle-snap-pop-pop-pop-pop. Rainbow’s legs all went out from under her and her tongue loll’d out.
“Fucking Faust that was good…” she sighed. “D-do it again,” she begged.
“I’m not a chiropractor,” Bandaid said, a little red-faced from all her moaning. “J-just one more.” He started at the base of her spine, applied pressure, and traced up to the back of her neck. The number of popping-snapping-popping was just a little bit alarming. Her moan was long, loud, and sounded like she was in agony. Then she went limp with a purr. “You might wanna see a chiropractor though, sheesh…” he said, a little worried for her.
“Nah, man, I’m just…” she let out a long, luxurious sigh. “I just needed that…”
A little crashing sound drew both of their gazes. A formerly potted plant lay smattered across the ground, the pot in pieces. First Aide stood there, mouth hanging open. “Are you two-?!” he stuttered. Rainbow suddenly saw Bandaid in his father’s face. Easily embarrassed, overly emotional sometimes and kind of a wussy. Well, they did look like they were… ah… well… ehheh. “It’s not what it looks like, old timer,” Rainbow said from under Bandaid’s, well, mounted position with his hooves dug into her back.
“Hey Dad,” Bandaid said, glad he was there. “C’mere and help me with this.”
“I WILL DO NO SUCH THING!” First Aide said, backing up with a horrified expression.
“No no, she has some kind’a vertebral subluxation,” Bandaid said clinically, kneading the poor mare’s back a few times. Rainbow took the cue and moannnned. First Aide stopped a moment, seeming to take this in. “C’mere. Remember when Mom got body-slammed by Titanic Tina at the Grand Griffonian Octagon Cup?” he said.
“Yeah, her third vertebra had to be adjusted professionally,” First Aide was already wandering forward with interest. “Is your back hurting you, Rainbow Dash?” he pushed his glasses up his muzzle. Father and son stood over the cyan mare, gesturing and touching and prodding a little to see if her wings would flex. They compared notes and conjecture over the lay of her muscles compared to Dazzle Kicks, taking the wings into account and then readjusting their assumptions based on her age and weight and-- Rainbow watched them both from her head-down-ass-up position, puffing air to get her mane out of her eyes.
“Y’know if I was straight this would sort of be a turn on, but can we get to the point here?” Rainbow loudly reminded them of their position and set both stallions to stuttering. “Heh! You guys are too easy!”
“Alright, big guy, c’mon then,” Rainbow Dash encouraged. Nurse Bandaid rushed forward to lock arms with her. “Ohhh, somepony’s been losing their baby fat.”
“Shut up!” Bandaid laughed, shifting his weight a little. They tore from each other, then locked arms again. His muscles shuddered under the strain of just trying to hold her at bay. The cool morning air chilled their sweat as they wrestled back and forth. Rainbow’s wings flutter-flapped to help shift her weight, but Bandaid’s sheer size difference held fast.
It had been some time since he’d arrived at his parent’s home. Nightmare had sent gifts for Hearthswarming, but didn’t dare approach while family time was being spent. They exchanged letters, but there was little substance to them. Running a nation was hard work, after all. She would welcome her beloved home when he decided to toddle from Mom and Dad’s house.
Rainbow and Bandaid tumbled over each other, and his muzzle mooshed into the nape of her neck when she pinned both his shoulders. Her sweat smelled very nice. Shaking his head quickly, he put his back hooves on her underbelly and less-than-gently launched her off of himself. She took to the skies only briefly under the dojo’s cloth canopy, then dive-bombed into him. Side-stepping, Bandaid grabbed a leg and a shoulder and used her momentum against her to spin about and send her flying into a nearby post. Flipping agilely, she seemed to bounce off of it with all four hooves. Bandaid threw himself into the sand to barrel roll out of a flying kick. Rainbow skidded along the ground and charged at him again before she’d stopped.
Panting, they locked arms again. Rainbow’s footing slipped and they slapped down, one atop the other. Bandaid panted loudly as Rainbow’s wings tossed at the sand. Coughing twice she gave him a hard shove off of herself and they rolled back to their hooves. Dusting the sand from her coat, she resumed her fighting stance and threw a wild haymaker. Bandaid yapped, only having brought up one arm and not both. He skidded a couple of feet and Rainbow pounced on him while he was flat on his back. Straddling, she watched him cough on the strands of her rainbow tail while he flailed a little. “Still a Momma’s boy,” she chided, smirking over him and folding her arms a little.
“Kidney shot!” Bandaid announced, crushing her abdomen from both sides. Rainbow’s lungs collapsed with a mighty wheeze and she fell to one side. Curse his medical knowledge and know-how! Bandaid scrambled to recover while she struggled to regain her breath. Both of them sweating, they squared off again; Rainbow with her octagon stance, and Bandaid with his childish ready-stance.
Rainbow admired his body a little, despite herself. The water weight and baby fat melted off in just over a month or so with his mother’s constant regimented exercise and strictly controlled eating. He was actually starting to show a bit of a stallion’s shape under that gussied-up, palace nurse fur. She saw his back leg move to shift his weight and she tensed as he launched himself forward. There was no reason to dodge, he wasn’t strong enough to be worth dodging yet. He was wrestling practice for her, and she was combat practice for him. “Water break?” she offered.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said with a smile.
They locked arms yet again and Rainbow Dash threw him down with a mighty shout. He rolled wildly through the sand while she stamped after him, trying to get a good rib-shot in and make him give up. One or two good bruises was all it had taken at first, was he getting a little tougher? Nah. Nah that was just his earth pony breeding. They were built tougher than pegasi were. While yes, she was just playing with him and treating him like an understudy, he was certainly giving her his all. Slathering just a little from the workout, Bandaid walked a half-circle, then charged! He grabbed her shoulders and she his, but his momentum was too much. Sand was not a good stopping force for a straight-on charge. Rainbow skidded backward slowly but surely until her back met a post. Groaning with effort, he slowly, slowly got her shoulders against it for a pin. Their faces were very close together and their noses almost touched. She saw the long bead of sweat go down his face. His teeth were clenched and his cheeks were vibrating with effort. “…Don’t poop yourself, big guy.” She offered.
“PHH-HAHAHA!” he lost all his focus and she shoved him to the sand again. He stayed there a moment, face-hoofing with laughter. “You always know just what to say to throw me off!”
“Well you’re just concentrating so hard!” Rainbow helped him up, scrubbing her sweaty bangs out of her eyes. “We gotta get that embarrassment reflex outta you at some point!”
“Right, right,” he rolled his eyes, stretching back and forth a few times to help with the cool down. “We should shower, or mom won’t let us in the house.”
“Won’t let you in the house,” Rainbow corrected. “I stay out here, remember?”
“What is it with you and never wanting to be at our table?” Bandaid caught the sweat towel she threw at him.
“It’s their table. I’m here for training, not to move in with your family and eat their food,” Rainbow gestured to the rain cloud above the hot springs where she always stayed.
The outside showers had been exotic to Bandaid at first, but really they weren’t too different from showering at the gym. Eyes on your own stuff, and nopony would bother you. Connected to the hot springs was a small bathing area and two meager shower stalls, separated by half-walls. Bandaid took one, and Rainbow the other. The hot water, even in the winter air, felt great. It made his skin and angry muscles tingle. Soap was brief, scrubbing was standard, but the company was always nice.
Bandaid found his gaze slipping over towards Rainbow while she scrubbed at her bannered mane. He would always look away before she got the soap out of her eyes, but she was certainly a splendid specimen. Embarassedly or no, he’d certainly gotten to know her body over the weeks of training. The hoof-full of mane here, the press of foreheads there, it had been electric. He couldn’t help it. The attraction was there. Just as with Nightmare Moon, he found this powerful mare attractive. The muscle, the confidence, and all the rest. He reminded himself, not for the first time, that not only was she gay but both of them were taken. He gave a horsey snort, quickly going back to his own washing.
“What’cha staring at?” Rainbow said, one eye full of soap and one not. Her smirk spoke volumes.
Not to be baited, Bandaid quickly thought up a lie. “I was wondering if the rainbow was real,” he pawed at his mane to emphasize.
She leaned at him over the half-wall to tell him the secret. “The green stripe is fake,” she whispered conspiratorially, grinning.
“Wh… really?” he pondered, looking at her sopping wet mane. Without even thinking about it he took a strand to look at the roots. One side of her bangs was yellow, then the split of hair for her ear, and the next color was green and blue… the roots of the green hairs were blue! “Huh!” he said, lifting a flap of hair back and forth.
“Having fun there?” she said flatly. He let go like she’d slapped him.
“Sorry!”
“S’okay,” she rolled her eyes at him, getting the waiting bucket and filling it. Standing out of the shower spray while the bucket filled, she glistened. Shaking like a dog and tossing her mane a little, she checked the mirror across the way. When the bucket was filled she tumped it over herself and shook out again.
They washed in silence for a long time, each lost in their thoughts. “So what’s the plan for you?” Bandaid finally asked. “Mom is going to train you until the next season starts for the octagon?”
“Your Mom is gonna train me until she says I’m ready,” Rainbow said a little stoically.
“That could be a while,” Bandaid said, still scrubbing.
“She’s got a lot to work with!” Rainbow stepped out of her shower stall to shake off the water and get towels. “I’m Rainbow Freaking Dash! I was already good when we met in the ring!” she reared up to flail her hooves at him a little. He smiled good-naturedly.
“Well you are a hoof full,” Bandaid admitted, splashing a bucket of hot water over himself.
“I’m the biggest hoof full you’ve ever seen!” she gloated, tossing the towels aside and walking to the edge of the springs. She splashed in, careful of her wings and went to her usual corner to lounge.
Bandaid eventually followed, soaking his poor ankles and not much else. The continual shock of crashing into the mare had dealt a little bit of ache to him. Not enough to be a sprain, but flirting with a pulled muscle.
Luna watched silently, not sure she especially liked what she was seeing.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=
“…say again?” Nightmare said, blanching at the messenger.
“Nurse Bandaid’s house, Princess. It’s burned down,” he repeated delicately. “The Ponyville fire department tried to save it but erm… it was a total loss. It was all they could do to contain the blaze and keep it from spreading to other houses in the neighborhood.”
“I see,” the dark goddess mumbled. “How did it start?”
“That’s what I thought you should see,” he nosed into his saddlebags for a moment to produce a mason jar with all manner of spell-webbing all over it. Nightmare squinted at the tiny figurine inside. It was a five-inch tall, plastic dragon. It yowled in a tiny voice, spraying sparks against the glass and darting back and forth like an angry parasprite.
“Bandaid will be furious,” Nightmare mumbled, touching a hoof to her chin. Discord had brought that tiny nightmare to life from one of Bandaid’s many shelves. After the gods had left his home, Nightmare had forgotten all about it. Of course it would run about, starting fires to mark its tiny territory! Just the right thing had caught flame though, and… well… “Bandaid will be furious,” she said again. “Nopony was hurt?” she asked. The messenger dutifully shook his head. “Very well. Dismissed.”
“You don’t think this was anypony making a statement or threatening your majesties coltfriend?” the messenger pressed a little boldly.
“I said dismissed,” Nightmare Moon gave him a sideways look. “Thy message is delivered, worry no more about it.” He quickly bowed, regretting himself. The black alicorn slowly sat on the obsidian throne.
“You have more to worry about than burnt houses and beaus, Princess. You should pay better attention,” the voice made her look up. The messenger stood in the doorway, a dark shape and nothing else.
“Remember to whom you speak!” Nightmare said, slowly standing. A guard or two looked worriedly back and forth between them. She paused, minding the filigree of the doors of the throne room he stood by in shadow. Taller? Yes, a bit taller. Not the same pony. “Who’s that?!” she demanded, descending the dais. All eyes fell on the stranger in the guise of a messenger. A flick of her dark powers lit every torch in the room, and a horrific sight greeted everyone. Sand slipped from the side of the stallion’s face. His eyes were rolled up and outward, like a coma victim. He trembled, like a puppet in an old woman’s hands. He toddled forward just a little, leaving bits of earth in his wake. Shuddering, he coughed a moss clot to the floor. “Are you the one that stole Bandaid and dropped him in Gnosis?” Nightmare’s aura began to slowly conjure and rise from her shoulders like so much black steam.
“No. It was Celestia,” the creature said, toddling forward like a clumsy puppet.
“I do not believe you. Celestia cannot transport a pony thus,” Nightmare started forward, waving off her guards for their own safety. The stallion’s knees bent the wrong way with a pop like popcorn, then righted themselves again. “She’s said it herself.”
“And you believed her,” it snarked, spitting a long line of sand on the floor. “What pony alive do you think is powerful enough to grab your dearest up without your knowledge, spirit him half a world away and then sit back to watch?”
“You, obviously!” Nightmare snarled, her fangs, jumping into view. “What puppetry is this!? Name yourself!”
“I am Equis,” the puppet said. “This finger-puppet speaks for me. For now. As long as his body holds out.” As though on cue tears of wet sand escaped the stallion’s eyes.
“I don’t understand,” Nightmare said, trying to pry information while she could.
“Did you know Celestia has one of Cadance’s crossbow bolts? From Cupid’s crossbow?” It said, touching hoof to chin thoughtfully. “Who’d have thought she needed that much help, huhm? I wonder what Cadance thinks of this?”
Shadows from the surrounding columns began to bend and slowly pool about Nightmare’s hooves. “Stop trying to sew chaos where there is none to be had!” Reaching into the rippling nothing, she pulled free a blade of liquid night and smote the puppet where it stood! Gore and body parts flew spectacularly, like a red and brown explosion of pony. Several ponies shrieked in horror, looking away from the mess. There was silence. Nightmare Moon stood there, panting. Finally letting go of all the shadows in the room, she let them return to their original positions. Seeming to read everypony’s thoughts, she looked to the nearest soldier. “Equis would not have released him before he died. His body was already starting to give out,” she told him. He hesitantly agreed. She’d seen the puppet weeping, it was mercy. Shadows morphed forward at her will, consuming the mess and leaving the floor and carpet pristine. “Equis,” she murmured slowly. What sort of being named itself after the planet they stood on? It was something to work with. Tia would know what to make of this.
Chrysalis had long since gone home, but Cadance remained. Perhaps they would meet over this. When the dawn came. Bringing the midnight court to a close, she stopped one of her stewards and drew him near with a massive black wing. “Come, we have a new and important project for you.”
“Anything, your majesty,” he said, bowing at the waist.
“Journey to Ponyville, assess the damage at this address.” She gave him the messenger’s scroll. “Rebuild the home exactly as it was, spare no expense and pay extra to expedite every process within reason. If you may set concrete faster with twenty unicorns focusing their magic on it, see it happen.”
“Er,” he said, a little caught off guard. “Yes your majesty,” he said slowly. “Am I using the royal accounts, or…?”
“The most powerful force in any system of mathematics is compound interest, my little pony,” Nightmare chuckled. “How much in the ways of monies do you think I gained through interest alone while I was gone for a thousand years?”
“Enough for a house?” he offered lamely, giving a tentative smile.
“Enough for a house,” she allowed with a playful roll of her eyes. “Now go. I will see thee rank and honor if it is completed before my beloved’s return to Ponyville.”
“When will he be back, Highness?” the stallion asked, noting down things as he could.
“I’ve no idea,” she said in earnest. “Work fast, do it right, spare no expense.” She sent him away after that so she could be alone with her thoughts. It was only then that she allowed Luna’s thoughts to invade her mind. She stopped for a moment to peer out a window, up at her. The night air was clear, and it was easy to see her. She listened with perked ears. Cocked an eyebrow. Listened further. “Wrestling, you say?” she murmured to nopony at all. She tilted her head like a dog listening to a high-pitched noise. “Bah, do not say such things Luna,” she waved a hoof dismissively as she spoke. “Bandaid would not stray from our bosom for yon violence.” She soothed the moon, slowly lighting her horn. It was time, anyway, according to the nearby standing clock. Lowering the fussy celestial body to her proverbial bed, she nuzzled it with her dark magicks until it finally quieted for the day. As though on cue, the sun began to peek over the horizon and pinken the sky. The stars began to wink out, yawning and mumbling amongst themselves.
Craning her neck, Nightmare looked to see Celestia standing on a high balcony in the Solar Wing of the palace, arms raised and wings open as though in ecstasy. Eyes closed, wide smile, she enjoyed every moment of the burst of dawn. She could almost hear the clippity-clop of her hooves as she set herself down again. The morning had come, as it always did.
“Oh! Good morning, Princess,” Twilight Sparkle had come up the hall to the throne room where Nightmare Moon stood in the archway. Servants started wandering in to change the decore. The obsidian throne rotated on a vast mechanism to be replaced by the white marble one. Banners and tapestries were turned over to reveal their day-time versions. Sweepers and moppers went through. Desks were rummaged through and a few laywers chit-chatted with each other about the coming cases. Nightmare Moon took the scuffle in cooly, then looked down at Twilight Sparkle.
“…Niece,” she said gently. “How are you faring? Good dreams, I hope?”
“None at all, just how I like it,” Twilight said, pushing her smooth bangs out of her eyes with a smile.
“You forgot your circlet,” Nightmare pointed.
“Eep!” Twilight practically slapped herself on the forehead to feel for it, then quickly pawed into her light-purple purses to find it. “Right, right, yes. Ahem.” She put it on, splayed her ears, then adjusted it again. She looked up at Nightmare for approval, looking sorry.
Nightmare reached and corrected the golden circlet so it sat evenly on her brow. “Perfect,” she smiled.
“Thanks, sorry about that. I’m still getting used to all this.”
“If there ever comes a time that you get used to it, let me know,” Nightmare said playfully. “I would hate to miss it.” Twilight smiled apologetically, ruffling through her papers and such to find her schedule for that day. “You wear it well,” she consoled to help her calm down. “Small wonder Celestia chose you to sit in her stead.” Twilight positively beamed at the praise, eyes shimmering. “Excuse me, I must retire.”
“Good day, Princess!” Twilight said with a bow and a smile. With that, the young mare walked slowly into the throne room to take her seat. Nightmare watched her go. The bowing, well-wishes, smiles and respect were no dimmer than if Twilight were Celestia herself. Huh. Nightmare was gone before Twilight sat on the throne.
Her mouth became a neutral line as she returned to the Obsidian Hall, to her private chambers. She spared no pony a look or a smile or much more than a curt nod as she went. This wasn’t about Bandaid, it seemed. Nor she and Chrysalis. It was about Celestia. Too many things were pointing away from her beau and towards her sister.
She opened her wine cabinet and poured herself a more than generous glass. She went to the long fire at her hearth to brood. Seating herself on the animal skin before it, she tilted her wine back and forth. It had grabbed Bandaid to set she and Chrysalis to fight, but evidence pointed to Celestia, until disproven. Now, the same entity came telling Nightmare that Celestia had stolen from Cadance? She wasn’t stupid. Nightmare knew exactly what Cupid’s Crossbow was, as well as its potency over the minds of living thing capable of love. Was Celestia so lonely she was force love by magic? Nightmare drank deeply from her wine, hissing a little. She poured more. If Celestia had stolen a bolt of love from Cupid’s crossbow without Cadance noticing, a miracle in itself, what could she possibly want to do with it. Select a stallion and stab him in the ass with it? She shook her head again, taking another swallow. Hearsay, until proven otherwise. Nightmare looked out her balcony window, towards the solar towers across from her own. Hmm. Celestia would not be at home at the moment. Cadance was staying in the royal apartments. Perhaps a quick nose around wouldn’t hurt. Not that she believed Equis’ hearsay, but better to check in case something else was going on. If she found a hole under Celestia’s bed, then all the better that she was thorough.
Draining her wine glass and setting the bottle on the mantle, Nightmare flicked her body with magic. Her silvery regalia melted away into nothing. Sticking to shadows, she would be invisible. Dipping into the shadows before the rising dawn caught her, she slipped out of the room and into the Obsidian Hall. Slowly turning invisible, she hovered past guards and walking palace staff so her big hooves wouldn’t make sound on the pristine marble floors.
She’d always found the Solar Halls bright and golden and gaudy, but they were not her quarters so she’d never voiced such opinions. Celestia liked her whites and creams and golds just as she liked her blacks and purples and silvers. At last, she reached Celestia’s chamber door. She listened, feeling the room with her magic. Nopony home. Concealing herself, she slipped into the room after the magical locks and trip-wires had undone themselves to let her in. So few had permission anymore.
Nightmare glanced about, genuinely curious for a few moments. She didn’t often visit her sister’s room. The bed was gigantic, the hearth much like her own, and all the usual amenities were there. It was almost militaristic in design, really. She spent so little free time here, being the ruler of a nation. The whites and golds must’ve been a nightmare to dust and keep bright. Rolling her eyes a little, the black alicorn peered about. If there was anything that didn’t belong here, she would know it. Something that didn’t smell like Celestia, or some such. She’d sniffed out Blueblood to eat him, she’d sniffed out Bandaid many a time for playful activity, of course she knew her sister’s scent too.
Closing her eyes, she wandered slowly around the room. It took all of thirty seconds. Behind a chest-high bookshelf, tucked behind the wood paneling, there it was. It smelled of pheromones, mint and crystalline winter mornings. Cadance. Cadance’s scent. Nightmare’s keen nose led her forward and she lit her horn. Something wiggled, jammed between the wall and the bookshelf.
“So it’s true,” Nightmare whispered, shocked. Held in her magic was a short, stout crossbow bolt with a bright red heart-shaped tip. It reeked of love magic. Handling it gingerly, she turned it over and over. Yes, it was genuine. Cadance outlawed love magic, all across the land, for everypony except for herself. There was no way she would have given this to Celestia, especially while she trained to gain a beau of her own. What was this for? If she failed and went into some terrible heat? If Cadance gave up on her?
Nightmare hrmm’d, not for the first time, over the strained relationship between Cadance and Celestia. Crysalis had been beaten back over and over, even killed. Discord had been turned to stone. She herself had been banished to the moon for a thousand years. The tiny, niggling doubt began to rise in Nightmare’s breast. Was Equis right? Was Celestia preparing to take down Cadance as well?
They often joked her solar sister was fond of her long incarcerations. But no, no surely not. There were too many strings moving in this tangled web. She and Chrysalis had been first, with Bandaid caught in the middle. Surely only Celestia could move him so quickly to Gnosis, but no. It had been a setup. Then Celestia steals from Cadance? She would not believe it. This had to be another setup! “Who is to say this was not planted here?” Nightmare suddenly decided, putting it back where she found it. “I do not believe your lies, Equis!” she said firmly, turning and leaving her sister’s room. "Celestia and Cadance must know of this!"
