> Change(ling) of Heart
>  by DubleTruble96
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Living in Ponyville was... Well, it was something all right. Everypony knew one another, sometimes the whole town would break out into a musical number, they're RIGHT beside that spooky forest where weather moves by itself and the animals take care of themselves... Oh yeah and it was the residency of the Elements of Harmony bearers. All 6 of them. Well... sort of. 3 of them lived on the outskirts of town--one on a farm, one in a cottage and one in a cloud house--But that was still far too close for Wild Card's liking.

But this town was one of the friendliest places in Equestria, especially since it was also the residency of Princess Twilight Sparkle, bearer of the Element of Magic and Princess of Friendship. It kind of comes with the territory. And there was a party happening at Sugarcube Corner like... every week. And of course, who could forget the other amazing events that happened? The Summer Sun Celebration, Nightmare Night, Winter Wrap-Up, Cider Season...

So why was Wild Card so nervous anyway? Ponyville may be a magnet for "friendship problems" and other chaos, but it was also one of the best places in rural Equestria to live, otherwise. Well, that's because Wild Card isn't a pony at all. Nope! The yellow coated, two-toned orange maned stallion with a joker card for a cutie mark wasn't a pony in the slightest. He was a changeling. Now before you freak out and think he's some sort of spy or whatever, relax. He left that life behind him some time ago.

In fact, he just wanted to live a semi-normal life, without all the deception and wrong-doings. After the Battle of Canterlot, the last thing he wants to do is get anypony suspicious of him. There was a reason he fled from Queen Chrysalis' hive. Although, he supposes it isn't Chrysalis' hive anymore, is it? Wild Card heard about the new ruler, some drone named "Thorax". Apparently he overthrew the queen and took over the hive, and then they all evolved or something. Well, THEY did. Wild Card was still in Ponyville at the time, and was considered MIA in regards to his old hive.

He isn't even clear on what exactly triggered the evolution. Not that he cares, of course. He's fine the way he is. And as long as he's in Ponyville, it's unlikely he'd ever go hungry. Subtly feeding off of the love everypony around here had for each other was more than enough to sate his appetite day to day. And it's not like he was doing anything wrong! He was simply trying to live peacefully, so he wasn't... SUPER concerned with being caught.

"Wild Card?"

"I DIDN'T DO IT!"

Okay, maybe he was.

The sea foam green mare raised an eyebrow curiously as the lantern yellow mare beside her was trying to calm her racing heart from the reaction. Lyra blinked, looking at Bonbon curiously, then back at him.

"Uh... Didn't do what?"

"Whatever it was you were going to accuse me... of," Wild Card said, trailing off and looking to the side awkwardly.

"I... wasn't going to accuse you of anything. I was just asking if you were going to the party at Sugarcube Corner tonight?"

"Oh that's right, Pinkie is having that party tonight. Was I invited? Oh who cares? If Pinkie Pie is throwing a party, EVERYPONY is invited. Unless it's one of her private parties, but even then, privacy seems to be the least of her concerns," he thought to himself, putting a hoof to his chin.

Eventually he shrugged and gave her a half frown. "I dunno, Lyra. I haven't really thought about it."

"Haven't really thought about it?!" Lyra said in disbelief, her mouth agape.

"How can you NOT be thinking about it?" Bonbon practically shouted, seemingly having gotten over her mini-heart attack. "It's been the talk of the town for the past week!"

Once again, Wild just gave her a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders and a half frown. “Why? What’s the occasion?”

“There’s no occasion needed for a Pinkie Party!” Lyra said with a toothy grin, “Sometimes, a party is just a party! You don’t need a reason to have a good time, right?”

“I suppose not…” The orange not-stallion said half-heartedly, lying more to himself than he was to the mares before him.

“Great! We’ll see you there!”

“Wait, I didn’t-” But they were already walking away, leaving Wild Card talking to thin air. “-say I was… going. Oh rats. Now I’m obligated to go, aren’t I?”

He sighed and started to trot towards the market. It wasn’t every day he was invited to a party, and perhaps that annoying green mare was right. A good time might just be the thing he needed. Although, a “good time” constitutes being in close proximity to several other ponies, eating cake and drinking punch while trying to maintain conversation or activity for several hours until eventually social integrity breaks up and everyone goes home to either throw up, pass out or both.

This good time was starting to sound a lot less good, now that he gave it some thought.

“Oh what am I saying?” he snapped at no one in particular. “I’m just talking myself out of things as ALWAYS. This is exactly what happened when I tried to leave the hive the first 32 times. I need to make a plan, and stick to it, no matter how much it discomforts me! And I made a plan, and that plan is to go to this party tonight!”

He planted his hoof on the ground, semi-triumphantly as he convinced himself to go be social instead of being a hermit for the next 3 days like he had originally planned. Unfortunately, he had done so in earshot of the one and only Element of Laughter Bearer, Pinkie Pie.

“You’re going to my party, Wild Card?!”

Suddenly, all that hot air he was spewing floated away and left a rather deflated shell of a changeling-turned-pony. He quickly spun to face Pinkie, who looked like she had just hit the jackpot.

“Uh… I… Yes?”

Pinkie’s face suddenly became serious, something that still took some getting used to; all those on-a-dime emotion changes.

“Was that a question?”

“...No?”

“Was THAT a question?”

Wild Card quickly saw he was getting nowhere fast, so he bit the bullet.

“Yes- I mean NO! I mean… Drat. Yes, I’m going to your party tonight, Pinkie Pie.”

Too bad he was always awful at chewing lead. Thankfully, he bit hard enough that Pinkie Pie turned into a rocket herself. Both figuratively, and literally. He watched as she trembled before shooting skyward, several colorful sparks exploding in every direction as she squealed in excitement.

“WHOO HOOOOOOO!! WILD CARD IS COMING TO ONE OF MY PARTIES!! THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION!!”

Wild Card waited for her to drift back down on a parachute he decided was better not to ask about, coughed into his hoof and gave her a small, knowing smile. “Uh.. Pinkie, you’re already throwing a party. Tonight. It’s the one I’m… WE’RE… going to. Well, the one I’m going to, and you’re hosting.”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened and she gasped at the realization.

“OH RIGHT! The party! I gotta go get more streamers! Thanks Wild Card!” She suddenly kicked up a Pinkie-shaped cloud of dust, which quickly took off after her, screaming over her shoulder. “SEE YOU AT THE PARTYYYY!”

He was in for a lonnnnnnng night.







The evening came much faster than our disguised friend would’ve liked, and if it wasn’t for the several tens of posters dotting most of Ponyville’s vertical surfaces (and even some of the horizontal ones), he might have missed that the party was scheduled for 8 PM sharp. Thankfully, at this rate, Wild Card had done anything he was intending to do that day, and even if there was still shopping or the like, it’d have to wait till tomorrow anyway; most shops were closed by this hour.

“Well, I said I was going to show up, and I did.”

FWOOSH! Pinkie grinned.

“Oh, you’re so thoughtful, Wild Card.”

FWOOSH! Wild Card smugly wiped his hoof on his chest.

“I know, I know. Now why don’t you introduce me to your friends?”

FWOOSH! Pinkie nodded.

“Of course, Wild! Right this wayyyy...awh phooey.”

Wild Card dropped his Pinkie Pie voice and scowled into the mirror he was practicing in front of, his ears low.

“This is stupid. I hate parties and I hate socializing. Especially since all that love ends up… getting all blended together. Makes feeding more of a hassle than anything. I might as well take everything in my fridge and dump it into a juice mixer.”

He changed back into his usual persona, sighing. “But, a promise is a promise is a promise. And… while I didn’t promise that I’d show up, I did give 2 mares my word, and that’s basically the same thing. I’ll just try to avoid too many big crowds. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll find some quiet place to sit and relax for most of the festivities.”

He stood up straight in front of the mirror, switching between his pegasus, unicorn and earth pony forms. “Hm… I think… yeah. Unicorn this time. I think that’s what I was when I was with Pinkie today. Alright…”

He put on his best smile, which, despite how fake it was, still seemed rather convincing... he hoped.

“Party time.”

Making sure his house was locked, he went toward the giant gingerbread house that was Sugarcube Corner. Of course, it wasn’t ACTUAL gingerbread. That’d probably violate several building regulations. Or maybe it wouldn’t. He supposed that it depended on the structural integrity of the gingerbread, the adhesive quality of the icing… Before he realized how far into this he had thought, he was there. He paused before the door, hearing muffled, but still loud, music blasting from inside the bakery, as well as several excited pony’s voices.

Taking one last deep breath, he went inside.

The onslaught to his senses was still nothing he was prepared for. The loud electronic music piping through the stereo systems assaulting his ears, the smell of spiked punch, warm bodies and sugary treats stabbed into him like a knife and the sheer amount of flavors that he instinctively fed upon for only a brief moment was enough to send him reeling backward, but he didn’t. He pushed on, quickly going around the massive crowd of dancing equines before finding a spot to sit in the dining area. He sat at the closest unoccupied table, being sure to draw as little attention as possible.

“Wild Card! Wild Card over here!”

Fiddlesticks.

He glanced in the direction of the cheerful voice, seeing the same bubblegum-colored monster from earlier that day quickly bouncing over to him, setting down a plate of sweets in front of him and grinning like a… well there’s several words he could use to describe it, but not all of them flattering.

“You made it!”

“With all the noise this place is making, it’d be awfully hard to get lost.” He said with a chuckle, trying to make it sound more like a joke than a legitimate criticism. Thankfully, it seemed to have worked, as the confectionist began to giggle before catching herself.

“Yeah, but a party that isn’t loud isn’t a party at all! What are you doing sitting all the way over here? The party is over there!”

She pointed her hoof toward the crowd of happy ponies, looking at him expectantly. He winced just a bit, but didn’t cave.

“Oh, I know. I plan on joining it at… some point. I just got here, so I wanted to sit down and maybe… relax and stretch out before I go and exert myself.”

Pinkie frowned for a moment, but nodded understandingly.

“That’s okay!” She pat his head, making him duck down a bit. “This IS your first official party, so I don’t blame you for taking it easy!”

“Er… right. I’m sure you’re very busy, Pinkie. I’ll let you get back to being the best hostess in all of Ponyville.” He swung his hoof in a hook motion across his chest with his best fake smile.

“Oh, right! Thanks Wild! See you on the dancefloor!”

“Alright! Eheh, happy travels!” He called after her as she bounced into the sea of partying ponies. “Whew…”

He looked around, then focused his senses to see if there was a lone pony or two to feed from without blending the flavors into some mass… mess of sensations. Suddenly, the overwhelming taste of fruit hit the back of his throat like a ball of rusty steel wool, making him cough. He looked beside himself, seeing a rather inebriated Berry Punch trotting up beside him, then practically throwing herself around his neck and hanging off it like the world’s most annoying pendant.

“Hey… *hic* handsome… All alone on *hic* New Year’s Eve?”

Taking a deep sigh, he carefully pulled Berry Punch to her hooves and shook his head.

“No Berry, I’m not alone, and it’s certainly not New Year’s Eve.”

“Ish naht…?” Berry seemed legitimately surprised, then looked down in thought and started to count under her breath. After a while of counting, however, Wild raised an eyebrow.

“Ahem… Berry?”

The mare looked up, blinking. “Huh?”

“I was just saying that it’s not New Year’s Eve, and then you looked at the floor and started counting.”

“Oh! Hehehehe… *hic* I shtarted counting the… *hic* floorboards. There’s 347.”

“You were counting for 30 seconds, Berry, I doubt you made it all the way to 347.”

“Ooohh, you got me, offisher…” She nuzzled up to him, making him lean back uncomfortably. “Now you gotta take me *hic* downtown~”

“Berry, please go home. You’re drunk.”

“I’m not *hic* drunk.” She stood away from him, putting her hoof to her chest defiantly.

“You’re completely inebriated, Ms. Punch…”

“I’m NOT DRUNK,” she insisted, beginning to look aggressive.

“Can you tell the time, Berry?”

“Of coursh I can.” She turned and looked up at the clock, scowling at it. “I’m not drunk.”

Wild Card sighed, putting his muzzle into his hooves. Suddenly, a loud trumpet’s blare caught his attention, and he glanced toward the window curiously.

“What now…?” he muttered under his breath, getting up before going to the window and looking outside. He half-expected it to be some sort of giant tuba monster or maybe the beginning of another random musical number, but instead, he saw a regal ivory-colored, gold-trimmed chariot coming from the skies and landing outside. In it, Princess Celestia herself. And a pair of royal guards, but Wild Card was more focused on the 8-foot tall alicorn who just parked outside and seemed to be… making her way inside.

“Oh no.” His ears laid flat against his head as he turned to the door, watching Celestia duck down and enter the establishment. “Why her? Why now?”

Celestia looked around as almost every pony in the place stopped what they were doing, staring in awe for a moment before beginning to bow. Wild was just about to do the same, just so he didn’t seem out of place, but Celestia stopped him -- and every pony who hadn’t yet bowed -- with a light wave of her hoof.

“No need for formalities, my little ponies. I’m not here on business, I’m here for the party, same as you!”

Princess Twilight? That was one thing. Living in the same town as the Element Bearers, that’s another thing. The first party that Wild Card went to EVER being crashed by Princess Celestia? That’s one thing too many. But now what? He’d only been there for a few minutes, and leaving would be rude. Especially right after a PRINCESS shows up. He sighed to himself, trying to come up with an on-the-spot solution.

“I could turn into a different pony… no, they already know I’m here,” he muttered under his breath. “I could fake food poisoning… No, that’d put Pinkie into a bad light. Fake an injury…? No, same problem.”

He looked up, seeing the Princess and a crew of at least 4 royal guards walking towards the dining area. He was out of time.

“Good evening, my little pony,” Princess Celestia said, smiling warmly and benevolently, a smile that still haunts Wild to this day.

He coughed gruffly, saying in a low, scratchy voice, “Evenin’ your highness. Great party.”

“Quite! I’ve only been to a few parties, but nothing this exciting before. Well, except for the gala that one year…”

“Ah hah, yes. Very exciting. Enjoy your outing, your highness.”

Princess Celestia seemed a little taken aback by the shortness of the conversation, but quickly smiled again, nodding and continuing to her table. “You too, Wild Card.”

He felt every muscle in his body tense up as she said his name. How did she know his name? Pinkie Pie must’ve said something… If she wasn’t the Element of Laughter he’d-

A pause. A sensation of jamais vu. He narrowed his eyes as he stared at the table, trying to locate it without looking up and making it obvious that he was looking for something. It wasn’t like he never tasted love before, and while each pony’s love tasted a little different, it’s all the same stuff. And yet…

Finally he looked up, sniffing at the air quietly. Where was it coming from? It was certainly nearby, but not in the direction of the dancefloor. It was… closer. Frowning, he focused his changeling senses as much as he could, the whites of his eyes becoming baby blue. He had to be careful nobody saw that, so he only turned his head if he needed to.

Glancing at the dancefloor, he saw a huge pink sparkly mess coming off of the crowd of ponies. That was certainly a lot of love, but it was too muddled and blended. This was one distinct flavor, from one source. His eyes scanned the dining hall. The other ponies had pinkish or purplish sparkles emitting from them too, but nothing nearly saturated enough to.. Wait! Eureka!

His eyes laid upon… a giant pink cloud. It was so saturated, he couldn’t see through it. He blinked in surprise, then stopped concentrating so hard, his eyes fading back to normal. Behind the thick pink haze was… a royal guard. He was standing off to the side, guarding the left flank. He didn’t seem out of the ordinary, aside from the sheer amount of love he was emitting. It was so strong he could taste it from 50 feet away!

“What in Equestria…?”

The guard glanced at him, and Wild quickly looked away, pretending to be incredibly preoccupied with the lights dancing on the walls. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the guard blink, shrug, then go back to standing stoic and facing straight ahead. Wild furrowed his brow, looking at the food he hadn’t touched yet intently.

“Why would a guard have THAT much love coming off him? I know that Pinkie has a lot, and so does that yellow one… what’s her name…? Flutter...something. But they’re Element Bearers. This is just some guard…” he muttered, thinking hard, but coming up with no answers. He frowned a little more, trying his best to come up with a reason but coming up short. And, as if on cue, Pinkie Pie trotted right on up to him, looking concerned.

“Wild Card?”

“Ah!” he looked up at her in surprise, giving her a nervous smile. “Oh, hey Pinkie. What’s up?”

This was a face that Wild Card was awfully familiar with… Ears low, brow furrowed into a concerned gaze, pupils dilated, her lips doing a good impression of a blanket draped over a tire. And that voice. It was the sort of sickly sweet voice that someone who genuinely cares about you uses when they see you’re not right, and want to help, no matter how badly you want to say “it’s okay” or “don’t worry”, but you don’t because lying to someone who cares about you that much is wrong. That expression could shatter concrete and split steel beams if it wanted to; no amount of emotional barriers was enough to impede it.

“Are you okay? I was over in the kitchen and when I came out, I saw you were looking at the table and frowning… You didn’t even touch the cupcakes I brought you.” she whimpered. Gosh if there was ice cream within 10 feet of them right now, it would’ve been a creamy puddle right now; that voice could melt even the strongest of dispositions.

And oddly, for the first time since moving there, Wild Card was at a loss. There was no words, no lies or deceptions he could think of. He wasn’t sure of much of anything at the moment. There was just too much new information and too much outside stimuli, it was all becoming muddled. But Pinkie was expecting an answer and if he didn’t, there was sure to be consequences. Everypony knows that when Pinkie Pie sees a pony who’s sad, she does everything in her power to make them smile. Wild was pretty sure there was a whole musical number that happened a few years back.

“Oh… uh… Sorry Pinkie… My… stomach isn’t feeling too great.”

Pinkie took a moment or two to process that, and unfortunately, caught the lie in its tracks.

“You didn’t sound sick before. What’s wrong?” she got into the seat nearby, looking across the table at him expectantly.

“Gah… I just… it’s…”

“Is it the party?” Pinkie guessed, tilting her head. “I know that this is your first one, and I understand if you’re having second thoughts.”

“It’s not the party… Well, I mean it’s KIND of the reason but-”

“Is it the heat? I know there’s a lot of us in here right now-”

“No, it’s not the heat, Pinkie.” Wild sounded a little exasperated, not wanting to sound rude but also not wanting to outwardly say what was on his mind, especially since it’d reveal that he was a changeling. “I just… I need some air. Is that okay?”

Pinkie nodded, giving him a worried smile. “Okay, but hurry back, alright? I don’t want you to miss the fun!”

Thankfully, Wild had a plan, and Pinkie fell right into it. “I will, don’t worry.”

She bounced away, and as soon as she was out of sight, Wild Card stepped outside. He looked around to make sure that nopony was looking, dove into the nearest bush, then changed forms with a muffled FWOOSH!
There was a pause, then a lavender pair of hooves emerged from the bush, shaking the leaves from her indigo and pink mane. Dusting off her shoulder, she looked around one last time before taking a short breath, then walking inside, making sure that her wings were folded neatly at her sides. They were awfully big in this form, bigger than she was used to, but it wasn’t her first rodeo…

Pinkie looked at her, then grinned and dashed over, wrapping her hooves around Wild’s neck happily and nuzzling her cheek. “Twilight! You made it!”

Wild giggled the same way he heard Twilight do hundreds of times, hugging her “friend” and rubbing her cheek against Pinkie’s nose in return.

“Of course, Pinkie! I’d never miss one of your parties!” she lied through her teeth, giving her a warm smile.

“Oh! Princess Celestia is here, if you wanted to talk to her! She’s over in the dining hall!”

“Oh, she is? That’s unusual.”

“Not really! I invite her to every party I throw! I guess she was always busy until now!”

“Well, I’ll be sure to say hello!”

Wild gave Pinkie another hug, then walked towards Princess Celestia. She only knew a few things about Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight’s relationship, and she hoped that it’d be enough to get away with this facade.

“Twilight! It’s so good to see you~”

“It’s good to see you too, Princess! What are you doing here?”

“Oh, Pinkie invites me to every bash she throws, and… I had a free evening, so I thought I’d finally take her up on the offer!”

“Well, I hope you’re enjoying yourself! I know Pinkie’s parties are a little… overwhelming.”

“Oh, on the contrary! I’m having a blast!”

Wild pretended to be surprised, although the intel she had gathered on Celestia several years ago was pretty clear about how informal the princess can actually be. But Twilight always thought the best of Celestia, so she had to play the part.

“Oh! Well, then that’s great!” she paused for thought, then smiled at Princess Celestia. “Oh, Princess, do you mind if I borrow one of your guards for a moment? I have something I want to tell Shining Armor, and I was hoping that they could relay the message for me.”

“Absolutely, Twilight.”

“Thank you~” Wild wanted to dash over and grab the leftmost guard and leave with haste, but the part she was playing called for subtlety, especially when dealing with princesses. She walked over to the leftmost guard calmly, gave him a nod, and then walked toward a side hallway with him. They went in, she took him around a corner, and looked around briefly before looking at him with a calm smile.

“Lovely evening, isn’t it?”

The guard blinked in surprise, nodding curtly. “Er.. yes, it is, Your Highness. What was the message you wanted to relay?”

“Oh, no need to concern yourself with the message right away! I just thought I’d chat for a moment and this seemed like the best way to do it.”

He blinked again, then gave her a polite smile. “Er… Your Highness, with all due respect, I do need to get back to my post.”

Wild frowned a bit. “Drat. These guards are so strict about their jobs. I’ll have to find a better way to get some information…”

“Oh, of course. First, may I ask your name, so I know who to credit?”

“White, Your Highness.”

She blinked, stunned by the shortness of the name. “White? Just White?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“Not.. White Clouds, or White Star, or White Shield? Just White?”

He nodded again. “Yes, Your Highness.”

“Huh. Curiouser and curiouser.” she thought.

“Right. Well, White… Could you tell Shining Armor that I’m… coming up to see him some time in the near future? I don’t want to surprise him, with baby Flurry Heart and all. He’s really got his hooves full.”

“Of course Princess. Is there anything else you require?”

“No, thank you White.”

White nodded, gave a short bow, then cantered back to his post. Wild Card frowned, staring after him. “If I had to guess,” she muttered, “he probably lives in Canterlot. How I’m going to get there is one thing, but how to find out why he produces so much love is another beast entirely…”

Her ears perked up when the door opened, and he heard Pinkie Pie run to the front door to greet who just walked in.

“Twilight! What are you doing outside? I thought you were talking to the princess?”

Twilight seemed confused. “Talking to the princess? I just got here! And what do you mean? Is Princess Celestia here?”

“You did? And… yeah, she is! I just told you a minute or two ago! I think…”

Wild Card knew the jig was up, so she went into the bathroom and clambered through the window. She fell out and landed rather unceremoniously against the cobblestone, flailing for a moment to get up and dust herself off. Looking up, she quickly was stunned to realize that Rarity, the Generosity Bearer was staring right at her, looking incredibly puzzled. She looked toward the front door of Sugarcube Corner, then back at her.

“Twilight, didn’t I just see you going into Sugarcube Corner? Why in Equestria are you climbing through the bathroom window?”

“Er…” Wild Card said, looking to the side, then gasped as if she saw something. Rarity looked in the same direction, and then looked back, seeing nothing but a bunny standing where Twilight used to be. She blinked in surprise, looking around in confusion. Finally, she looked back at the bunny, tilting her head.

“Er… you.. Didn’t see Twilight around, did you, little bunny?”

The bunny scratched at his ears with his hind leg, then sniffed at the air a bit without responding. Rarity chuckled, fanning herself with her hoof. “I must be working too hard lately, I’m seeing things.” She nodded to the bunny, then walked into Sugarcube Corner.

The bunny let out a sigh of relief, turning back into Wild’s usual persona. He scowled with determination.

“I WILL find out what’s up with White. Even if it takes me to every corner of Equestria!”

He paused, then huffed a bit. “Right after this party… I DID say that I’d be back.”

And with that, he turned back around and went into the party after Rarity and did his best to have a good time, despite his convictions. But he kept finding himself distracted in thought, and that was something that didn’t go unnoticed. Pinkie knew something was up, and herself grew determined to find out what. Thankfully, she was also hosting a party, so he didn’t have to deal with her very long, or very frequently. Soon, the party ended and the Princess left, her entourage in tow as they ascended into the night sky. Wild Card went out after them and watched them fly back, twisting his mouth into a determined scowl.

“Next stop… Canterlot.”
> Chapter 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning came, and Wild Card knew that if he wanted to get to the bottom of this, he needed to get to Canterlot as soon as he could. Unfortunately, this was bittersweet for him… He was one of the front-liners during the Battle of Canterlot and he had lots of tainted memories of the place. So many innocent ponies getting hurt, so many lives forever altered because of his actions… He shook off the feelings, closing his eyes. It was no time for fuzzy memories and sob stories. It was time for action.

He quickly made his way to Ponyville Station as soon as they were open, purchasing a ticket and getting onto the next train to Canterlot. The ride was long, and being alone with his thoughts wasn’t good for him. He shivered as he felt a cool breeze crawl up his spine, the chill of guilt wracking his brain. He knew he couldn’t undo what he did, but he could at least try to atone for it as much as possible. All the intel he gathered, all the lives he lead and all the reputations he destroyed… It was certainly a big pile.

Eventually, he arrived in Canterlot Station, the first time he’d been there since the Battle. He shivered again, then made his way into town. Walking towards the nearest cafe, he sat down, ordered a black coffee, then waited, planning and plotting his course.

“Lessee here… If I were a guard, where would I live…? Guards don’t get paid an awful lot of bits, but ROYAL Guards probably get paid a good amount… Upper-middle class, probably. But with that much love? I should look more for middle class. Upper class types are awfully snooty, guards or not. That narrows me down to a few neighborhoods, which is still a lot.”

He was sure that White would live close to the palace, as the commute to the palace would be a pain to do every shift, so that narrowed down his search a little more. Alas, it was still a lot to search on hoof, especially by himself. But he was used to that kind of thing.

“His cutie mark was also a quill and parchment. That could mean a lot, but it likely has to do with record keeping, or writing. And considering he’s a royal guard? Writing seems the most likely. Writing is a pretty common hobby.” He sipped his coffee delicately, then nearly choked on it. He forgot to add sugar.

Using his magic, he lifted a few sugar cubes into his coffee and stirred it idly, staring into the dark beverage.

“I can’t say he’d live near a stationary store, though. It’s possible he uses a typewriter or maybe one of those new computer devices. Canterlot has a lot more tech than Ponyville does.” he sipped his coffee again, looking over a city map that he picked up from the station.

“Let’s start with… this neighborhood here, and we’ll see what comes up.”

The “search” entailed a number of things. Eavesdropping on conversations, using disguises to get into restricted areas and using his other forms to blend in with the local fauna so he could investigate from higher, or sometimes lower, angles. He spent several hours, using his changeling senses to see if he could locate anything interesting or noteworthy, but to no avail. Night soon fell, and ponies started to go to their houses and fall asleep. Unfortunately, there was not a single clue, trail or lead he had found all day, and even worse, he forgot to eat. Sneaking some love from a passerby wasn’t a viable option, and there wasn’t very many stores around that were open at this hour. If anything, it’d just be bars and pubs. But… bar food was better than no food…

Wild Card wasn’t very close to any good pubs though, according to his map. He was close to the outskirts of the city, and he hadn’t seen a neon sign, a glowing doorway, or anything similar in the past 2 hours.
He decided to just start walking and see where it took him. He was certain he’d see a bar or pub eventually. And eventually, he did. It wasn’t a long walk, probably about 20 minutes. However, he quickly realized why he had missed it so easily. It didn’t look like a bar at all. It looked more like a big warehouse, or hot air balloon hangar. He figured it was likely an aesthetic choice and thought nothing of it, approaching the door to the bar; outside of which stood a tough looking stallion wearing sunglasses.

Looking up at the sign, he blinked at the name of the club: Princess’ Playhouse. Twisting his mouth into a half frown, he huffed softly, muttering under his breath. “Must be one of those… stallion-oriented clubs. Or perhaps Equestria’s worst secret society.”

He went to go inside, but the stallion stopped him.

“Name?”

“Oh great, one of those ‘members only’ clubs… Just my luck.” he thought with a small frown.

“Wild Card.”

“ID?”

He blinked in surprise. Of course he had his ID on him, that wasn’t the problem. He was just surprised that he was being asked for it. He was obviously a grown stallion, and he certainly wasn’t a member. Regardless, he produced his ID card and showed it to the bouncer. He nodded, then looked straight ahead.

“Go ahead.”

Once again, he was a little stunned. But he decided to go in regardless. He just about stepped inside when the bouncer stopped him again.

“Make sure to check in to the front desk for access to the club.”

“Er… alright.”

The stallion let him through, and Wild Card walked in. The door opened into a hallway, the walls, ceiling and floors made to look like red velvet. There was a window with a speaker on it, and a slot under it to the left, and 2 bathroom doors to the right, one for stallions, one for mares. Straight ahead was a pair of bouncers, standing in front of a red velvet rope hung between two stainless steel poles. He approached the front desk as requested, noticing the glass was fogged, making him unable to see through it to see the pony on the other side. He could only see a vague silhouette.

“You Wild Card?” The voice sounded feminine, but was still too hard to tell. The speaker wasn’t very good. Or perhaps it was distorting the voice on purpose.

“Er… yes?”

A paper was pushed through the slot, followed by a quill pen.

“Just sign on the dotted line to get access.”

Wild Card was incredibly confused. This bar made you sign a paper to get access to it? He looked at the paper curiously, reading the print. It was mostly legal jargon, stuff like “we’re not responsible for this” and “you’re legally obligated that”. Eventually he grew tired of reading it and just scribbled his signature hastily onto the paper. The paper was taken back, as well as the pen, and then something else was pushed through. Something… completely unexpected.

“You can change in the bathrooms behind you, enjoy your experience at Princess’ Playhouse.” The voice crackled through the speaker, before a loud KSHT! turned it off.

Wild Card frowned, looking up at the speaker again, then down at the object shoved through the slot. Lifting it up with his magic, he turned and went into the stallion’s bathroom, went into a stall, then inspected the object to confirm his suspicions. The plastic crinkled as he pulled it apart, and he felt his cheeks becoming scarlet as he looked it over. It was a diaper. A big one, at that. Not baby-sized. Adult sized. And it was awfully thick too. He quickly exited the bathroom, going back to the front desk.

“Er… excuse me… uh… Miss?”

The speaker crackled, indicating it was turned on again. “Yes, what is it?”

“What is the diaper for? And… furthermore, why is it so… uh… large?”

“Oh. Right. You’re new here.” There was a sigh. “All patrons of Princess’ Playhouse are required to wear a diaper to get access to the bar. You read the waiver, didn’t you?”

Wild Card opened his mouth to protest, but paused, his words catching in his throat. He had already signed it.

“Er… n-no.”

“Well, you’re also legally obligated to not speak about Princess’ Playhouse outside of Princess’ Playhouse. That was also in the waiver you signed without reading.”

“...I see. So… the bouncers won’t let me past unless I’m wearing a diaper.”

“That’s right. Have a good night, now.” KSHHT!

He frowned, looking at the diaper curiously. There was absolutely no way he was wearing this thing, even for all the food in Equestria. He was hungry, but he wasn’t delirious. He was about to turn around and head out, maybe find another bar that didn’t require the patrons to sign a document, but that’s when he felt it. Or rather, tasted it.

His pupils dilated, he sniffed at the air. That flavor… That strange… yet so alluring flavor. It was here. Somewhere. Somewhere past that velvet rope.

“Huh… I never figured him for the diaper type…” Wild muttered, looking over his shoulder at the velvet rope. He turned and went back into the bathroom, then into the stall. He looked over the diaper again, frowning. “Hm… There must be some loophole here…”

That’s when he had an idea. It wasn’t a very good idea, but it was the only thing he could think of. He certainly never tried anything like this before, but it was worth a shot. He sighed, took a deep breath, held it, and then concentrated as hard as he could on his transformative magic. With a FWOOSH!, he turned into… himself. But now, diapered. All illusory. He looked at the false diaper on his backside, smiling like a foal in a candy store.

“Awesome.”

He binned the real diaper, walking out into the hallway, then walked to the velvet rope. The bouncers didn’t bat an eye, removing the rope from his path and nodding at him.

“Enjoy the show, sir.”

“I will, thank you~”

He went in, and looked around. The place was packed, to his surprise. Ponies from all over, all wearing diapers, were in the bar; chatting, drinking, dancing. Perhaps this wasn’t as niche a concept as he had suspected. And what was the harm? They seemed to be enjoying themselves. Unfortunately, however, he couldn’t see his target anywhere.

“I could’ve sworn I-”

“HELLOOOOOOO EVERYPONY!!!” A loud, feminine voice bellowed into the bar, making all heads turn in the direction of the sound, including Wild Card. The voice was coming from the biggest mare he had ever laid eyes on. And that wasn’t even a euphemism or a pun of some kind… She was HUGE. Like... really huge. It was hard to describe, he was just so stunned.

The snowy white mare had to be at least the size of a carriage. Maybe bigger? It was hard to tell at this distance. And it wasn’t just pure height either. Wild Card didn’t want to say it, or even think it, but… she was fat. Incredibly so. She looked like a big, bouncing balloon. She was very bottom-heavy, and she was wearing a form-fitting pink dress, which did nothing to hide the gigantic baby pink diaper covered in frills and lace she wore on her backside. He was unclear how much of her backside was diaper and how much of it was fat.

What’s more was that she was able to stand on her hind legs without any sort of assistance, and seemed to prefer that. She was like nothing that Wild Card had ever seen. It was as if a marshmallow peep had come to life and put on a diaper and a dress. Her mane was the shade of sky and bluebells, and her eyes were a similar shade. She kind of reminded him of a…

...Wait, that can’t be right.

He fell into a bit of a trance, staring at her with a confused look as all the voices, the music… all of it became one big blur.

The whites of his eyes turned baby blue, as he concentrated his sight on the huge mare. The pink cloud emitting from her was too thick to see through, too hazy to make out details in any facet. He blinked, his eyes returning to normal as he quickly scanned her body.

“Blue mane…” he muttered softly, under his breath, “white coat… diaper… pink dress… love cloud that I can’t see through…”

The puzzle pieces slowly began to click in his brain, but the puzzle wasn’t making any sense at all. How could that mild-mannered stallion possibly turn into that? Even with transformative magic or potions, that’s… that’s still improbable! He’s a pegasus, not a unicorn… And furthermore, he’s a he! This is quite clearly a mare! Right?!

“-eems awful entranced, doesn’t he? What a cutie! What’s your name, sweetheart?”

He shook his head in surprise, realizing he was being spoken to. He looked up and saw that the gigantic mare was looking right at him, with a big smile on her face. A big, knowing smile on her face.

“M-Me?!” Wild Card said in surprise, putting his hoof to his chest.

“Yes, you!” The mare said, smiling even bigger.

He could feel his cheeks immediately flushing to become scarlet again, and he scrambled over his words. “I.. er.. My name is… W-Wild Card. W-Why? Who’s asking?”

The mare feigned shock, looking over the other patrons with a fake gasp of surprise. “He’s asking who I am! He must be a new baby for our little playhouse!”

“Baby?!” Wild Card said, eyes widening, before looking over his shoulder at the illusory padding on his backside. He looked back and let out a frightened squeak when he saw that the mare had came right over to him, her face a mere foot away from his own.

“You’re adorable, you know that?” She said with a grin. “Well, since you’re new, I’ll introduce myself! My name is Princess~ And you’re in my playhouse~”

“Oh… I… uhm… It’s lovely to meet you… Princess.”

“I know~” she cooed, smirking at him. “It’s always lovely to meet someone like me.”

“Er… someone… like you?” he repeated, obviously confused at the notion.

“Wow, you must be incredibly new~” she teased, and with one quick motion she scooped him up into her forelegs, making Wild Card squirm uncomfortably before she cradled him on his back. “Yes, someone like me~ A big, fat baby! And you’re a little, cutie baby!”

“I… um… I don’t need to be held, miss-”

“A ta tah, it’s Princess, honey. Not miss, not missus. Princess. And yes you do~ You’re a cute little baby and you need lots of love and attention, don’t you?”

“...No?”

She grinned. “Was that a question?”

“Uh… no?”

“Was that a question?”

Wild Card was feeling an extreme sense of deja vu here, and he wasn’t very comfortable being so close to a mare like this. It was nothing against her specifically, he just didn’t like being close to any pony, big or small.

“I… um…I-I’m not a baby.”

“Then what’s this?” Princess reached over with her hoof, and gently patted at his backside, but paused and raised her eyebrow when she didn’t hear the telltale crinkle of a plastic diaper. She went to pat again, but Wild quickly leapt from her forelegs and landed on the floor before quickly dashing out the front door and into the street, making sure to drop the illusory diaper as soon as he was out of sight.

Panting heavily, he ducked into a back alley to make sure that he wasn’t being followed, then sat down, letting his heart calm down.

“That… was… WAY too close,” he panted, putting his hoof against his chest. “And this mystery just got a lot more confusing.”

Unfortunately, he still needed to eat, and in his haste to escape, didn’t grab anything nor fed on any nearby pony on his way out. He felt his stomach grumble under him, making him frown and gently rub at his underside to soothe the hunger pangs. He transformed into a bird, flying into the skies to get to the busier parts of Canterlot as fast as he could, landing in an alley and turning back to normal as soon as he could before quickly entering a bar, getting situated at the front counter, and letting out a heavy sigh.

The bartender mare came over, dressed in a blouse and vest, giving him a patient smile.

“What can I get you, mister?”

“Give me your biggest, strongest drink. And then double it.”

The mare let out a low whistle, her smile turning into a concerned frown. “Rough night huh? Not a lot of ponies come in asking for a Double Zap Apple Cocktail…”

Wild planted his muzzle against the bar with a groan, nodding. “Very rough night… I haven’t eaten in hours.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Strider.”

Wild Card’s ears perked up and he looked up at her in surprise, scowling immediately after.

“What’d you just call me…?”

The mare gave him a mysterious smile, then reached up and gently tapped at a crystalline brooch on her neck with her hoof before beginning to work on his cocktail.

“You’re the same shapeshifter who disguised themselves as my old boss at the law office. It took some digging, and a private investigator, but I found out who you were.”

Wild’s cheeks became scarlet, leaning in and whispering to her. “And you’re… not mad at me?”

“Nah, my old boss was as enjoyable to be around as getting a twig lodged in your feathers…” she said with a snicker, her wings batting at the air a little bit for emphasis before folding at her sides again.

“Wait, how’d you know-”

“The amulet is magical, silly. It’s one of those “true-seeing” spells, makes your magic completely pointless. I can see right through you. And it was pretty simple to deduce that you’re the runaway changeling from the hive. You’re the only one who escaped, up until Thorax.” She slid the drink over to him, the rainbow swirls of the cocktail waving up and down like a flag, sparkles glimmering from the ingredients of the drink and making it incredibly eye-catching.

“Please, my name is Wild Card, miss… I… I’m trying to leave that life behind me.”

“I know. That’s why I’m not mad,” she began to wipe down a dirty glass with a cloth, giving him another patient smile, “Besides, you actually did me a favor, getting me fired from that job. Turns out our whole office went bankrupt a week later, so you saved me from a lot of hassle. That wasn’t your doing too, was it?” she teased, giving him a grin.

“No, goodness no! And believe me, getting you fired was NOT part of the original plan… That was an accident.” Wild sighed, rubbing at his temple with a hoof before taking a long sip of his drink.

“So what’s the trouble anyway? You’re one of those pre-evolution changelings, right? You seem pretty miserable though.”

He went over the night in his head for a few moments, then sighed. “I was in Ponyville, and I found something unusual about a royal guard who was visiting. He, unlike any other pony I’ve seen so far, expels more love than what was thought to be possible. When I use my changeling sense, I see the love ponies expel like a cloud of pink haze. But.. his cloud was so saturated, it was impossible to see through it!”

The mare gave him a smile. “That IS unusual, but that doesn’t explain what you’re doing all the way out here, in a bar in the middle of the night.”

“Well, I came here, to Canterlot, to find that guard and investigate, purely out of curiosity. I looked around as much as I could, but he was nowhere to be found! Eventually, I stumbled into this… pub. They made me sign a legal waiver, so I can’t tell you about it.”

“You can’t tell me anything at all?”

“Nope… The last thing I want is legal troubles.” He took another sip, shivering from the static buzzing through his throat as the Zap Apple cocktail travelled through him. “Geez, that really wakes your mouth up, huh?”

“Yep. They’re pretty expensive though. You got enough bits?”

“Yeah, money isn’t an issue… Anyway, what I CAN tell you is that he was there, in the bar.”

“That’s good!”

“Ohhh no. No it wasn’t. He, was...well… he was a she. But… wasn’t.”

The mare frowned, furrowing her brow.

“I’m… not sure I follow.”

“It was one of those things where you had to be there. I don’t know if I’ve said too much or not.”

“Well, hey, you know you’re on the right track, right? He’s… er… She?... They… are in Canterlot, that much we know. And you know that they frequent a bar that… you can’t talk about outside the bar.”

“Yeah, I guess. But I don’t know what I want to do with this information. It’s… so crazy and unusual! It’s insane, is what it is! I should just turn around and go home, but… I’m already so deep, I want to get to the end of this mystery.”

The mare smiled and pat at his shoulder, giggling. “I think you should do it. You’ve came this far, right? And I can help you make sense of it. I know LOTS of ponies in Canterlot, and I hear a LOT of drunk conversations. I’m sure something is gonna slip out sometime.”

“You’d help me? After what I did?”

She waved her hoof and rolled her eyes. “Oh forget the past, Strider. It’s over, water under the bridge and so forth. You helped me get out of a jam, let me help you~”

Wild smiled for the first time that night, rubbing at the back of his head. “Thanks miss… um…”

“Call me Case Load.”

“Alright, thanks Case.”

“Don’t mention it. Anything else you need before you go?”

“No, I think I’m-” Wild was interrupted by his stomach growling, louder than it was before, making his face become red and Case to giggle behind her hoof.

“Hungry?” she finished with a big smile, “You can feed from me, Wild. On the house.”

Wild gave her a sheepish smile, then closed his eyes and inhaled, feeding from the love given off of Case, taking just enough to get his fill. Case gave a little eye roll, going back to what she was doing while he fed, then gave him a smile when he was finished.

“All better?”

“Yes, um.. Thank you again.”

Wild Card finished his drink, paid for it, then went out and found a shrouded back alley to sleep in for the night. Sleeping in uncomfortable or unusual places was nothing out of the ordinary for him, so he fell asleep quickly, thinking about his plan of attack in his sleep.
> Chapter 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Waking up the following morning wasn’t pleasant, but he did it anyway, making sure to stretch out as much as he could to wake up his otherwise tense muscles. He let out a sharp yawn, then looked around to make sure nobody was looking. He transformed into his pegasus form, then took flight, heading in the direction of the market. There was 2 places he wanted to check for certain… One was the Castle of the Two Sisters (the new one, not the old one) and the second was… well…

He landed in the market square, looking around curiously for the nearest store that specializes in… nursery fare. He quickly laid eyes on a shop called “Powder’s Emporium” and if the baby bottle and pacifier on the sign hanging from a rod above the door was any indicator, he figured that’d be the best place to start. He darted into a bush, quickly took on the form of a female pegasus with random attributes, then wandered into the store, doing her best to appear as normal as possible.

The door opened and the entire place smelled like baby powder and formula, shelves lined with several varieties of diapers, pacifiers, baby bottles, crib kits and the like. Quickly going to the “Diaper” aisle, she scanned the shelves, casually wandering deeper and deeper, watching as the sizes went up and up and up. They stopped after “Toddler” sized, which made her frown.

“Hm… I suppose that getting them any bigger would require a custom order or something…”

“How much bigger are you looking for, ma’am?”

Wild jumped nearly out of her exoskeleton, thankfully keeping the disguise despite that, and looked at a periwinkle stallion who looked like he was in his late 40s, his aged mustache the same colour of ash.

“Oh, um… I suppose this sounds… rather unusual, but… my foal is getting awfully big, and despite all my effort, it seems like I won’t be able to properly potty train him for another year or so... “

The stallion raised an eyebrow, but kept his smile regardless. “Oh? How big is he?”

She gave him a nervous smile, looking a little embarrassed. “Um… Bigger than a toddler…”

“Hrm… Well, I still need a size, miss. How much bigger than a toddler is he?”

“Uh…” she trailed off, looking to the side as her cheeks began to become more red, “He’s… um… graduated pre-school.”

The stallion smiled a little bigger. “Miss, if I may?”

Wild blinked, nodding. “You may.”

“You’re not looking for these diapers for a foal, are you?”

“I...I’m not.”

“I thought you looked a little young. And when you said you had a foal that was bigger than a toddler, I knew what we were dealing with.” He chuckled, then waved her over to the front desk, then into a room behind a thick black curtain labeled “Employees Only”. Wild gasped as she saw a whole sectioned off part of the store that looked nearly identical, if it weren’t for the fact that the diaper packages were twice the size, and so was everything else.

Everything was adult sized. Pacifiers, diapers, cribs, clothes... 

“So just to clarify, ma’am… Are these for you, or for a friend?”

Wild Card’s cheeks turned scarlet at the implication that ANY of these were for her, quickly shaking her head.

“Oh goodness, no, they’re for a friend!”

“He’s an awfully lucky friend, I take it, having someone like you to do this so secretly for them. I’ll let you do what you need, just bring whatever you have up to the front when you’re done.”

The stallion turned around and went back to the front desk, leaving Wild Card standing in shock at the hidden section of the store. Was… every store like this? Or were only special stores this way? How long had this gone unnoticed?! Surely someone would’ve said something about this at some point! And yet, here it was, a secret so closely guarded and respected that you could hide it behind a simple curtain.

She wasn’t certain what to do, so she quickly grabbed down two of the nearest packages of diapers, one blue-trimmed and one pink-trimmed, went to the front counter, paid for them, and walked out with a large silver bag bouncing on her side. They were surprisingly cheap despite their size, and now she had to figure out what to do with two packages of scented, stallion and mare-sized diapers. She took flight towards the pub from last night, landing inside and trotting in. Case Load wasn’t working that morning, for obvious reasons. She just hoped that she could convince the bartender that they knew one another…

“Excuse me, mister? This is going to sound strange. But could I leave my bags here? Case Load is a friend of mine, she said I could drop these off here for a while.”

The bartender looked at Wild curiously, then shrugged. “There’s some lockers in the back the employees use. Just use the empty one.”

“Thank you! Uh… Please don’t look in them, if I may ask? It’s… personal products.”

The bartender nodded again, waving a hoof. “I’m more respectful than that. I’ll make sure Casey knows.”

Wild smiled, then went into the back, stuffed the huge bags into the locker as best as she could, then closed it before quickly leaving, thanking the bartender before taking flight toward the Castle. She knew there would be absolutely no way for her to get close to the Castle, let alone the Royal Guards without a proper disguise, so she purposely flew into a cloud, which gave her just enough cover to pull off another quick change. A pink and orange pegasus flew in, and Princess Twilight came back out.

“Well, if it worked the first time…” she muttered with a smirk. Flying down to the main entrance, she approached the guardsponies who quickly stood at attention as she got close.

“Good morning, she said politely before walking inside, the doors opening before her at the hooves of two other guards from the inside. Geez, this is just a huge power play wearing this disguise… she thought with a big smile, and to anypony else it’d look like Princess Twilight was just… really happy. And why wouldn’t she be? She’s visiting her old mentor and friend, Princess Celestia herself.

Well, that’s exactly what she hoped ponies were thinking. After all, she was a changeling, not a mindreader. Wild discreetly started to use her changeling senses to scan every guard she came across, waiting until they weren’t looking to do it. Eventually however, it quickly got to be annoying. Most of these guards looked so similar. Sure, there was SOME differences, but at a distance, you might as well be looking for a needle in a haystack.

“I’m going to be here for DAYS…” she muttered, letting out a snuff.

“What was that, your Highness?”

Wild jolted upright, looking at a guard standing beside her the whole time. “Oh.. N-Nothing, carry on.”

The guard looked puzzled for a moment, then nodded and began to trot back to his post before Wild realized he likely had some information. “Oh wait a moment!” The guard stopped, turned on a dime and stood upright again.

“Yes your Highness! Is there something you need?”

“I… am… looking for a certain recruit, perhaps you can help me. His name is White. He has a scroll for a cutie mark, was recently sent on an escort for Princess Celestia…?”

“Of course, your Highness. He’s on duty, guarding the Royal Archives today. Would you like me to escort you?”

“That won’t be necessary. Thank you. That’ll be all.” Wild said with a big smile, waving her hoof. The guard nodded curtly before turning around and continuing to his post. As soon as the guard was out of sight, she started toward the Royal Archives. As an infiltrator, she’d only ever heard rumors of the Archives. It was every changeling spy’s dream to set hoof into the Archives! Thankfully, that life was behind her. She was way beyond that life. Absolutely. Completely.

...So naturally, as soon as Wild set hoof into the Archives, she fangirled harder than she’s ever fangirled before. Think of all the knowledge! The information! The magic! Oh, the things she could do 
with-

She quickly slapped herself. “Calm down, Strider…” she muttered under her breath, “Just cause you're disguised like Twilight doesn't mean you gotta geek like her. Besides, the intel you really want it way more valuable.”

Wild Card’s gaze followed the trail of pink, looking around before finally laying eyes on a huge, hazy cloud she couldn’t see through. A quick blink back into her normal senses revealed the oh-so-familiar White standing behind it. She trotted right over and gave him a big smile.

“Hello White!”

“Hello, your Highness! What brings you to the Royal Archives?”

Wild opened her mouth to answer, but paused when she realized that saying, ‘stalking you to figure out why you output so much love and also why you turn into a titanic diaper-wearing performer at night, in a bar you can’t talk about legally,’ likely wouldn’t be a very reasonable, or sane, thing to say. Wild swallowed at the thought of being banished for eternity to a dungeon outside of Equestria! Or worse… Back to her old hive.

“Your Highness?” White said, blinking and beginning to look concerned as ‘Princess Twilight’ seemingly began to short-circuit.

“I… actually forgot! Pardon me!” And with that, Wild quickly absconded, running out the Archives and down the hall, stopping around a corner to catch her breath. “I… need… a better… plan.”

She began to pace quietly in the hall, muttering different plans to herself as she did so. There had to be some sort of way to get White to herself so that she could concentrate on this mystery. But if his days are spent as a guard, and nights spent as… whatever ‘Princess’ was… That didn’t leave her a lot of time to work with. Especially if White slept during the afternoon, which seemed likely, considering how much energy ‘Princess’ had at the bar.

That’s when something clicked in her brain and she grinned, before quickly darting towards the Throne Room.

“Twilight! What a lovely surprise!” Princess Celestia chirped, smiling warmly at her graduate. “How goes the Friendship School?”

“Oh, um… great! It’s going great! Princess, I was wondering if I could request something… odd. You see, there’s this guard, his name is White. My brother knew him when I was growing up and so I met him a lot in my childhood. His… ah… birthday is coming up soon, and I thought I’d surprise him with a trip to Ponyville, ya know, to show him around! Could I schedule a paid vacation for him?”

Princess Celestia chuckled and nodded, waving her hoof dismissively. “Oh of course, Twilight! I’m sure he’d love that!”

“Great! Would two weeks be too much time?”

“Not at all. He’s been seeming a little antsy lately, so this might do him a lot of good. In fact, why don’t we start his vacation right away? Just tell him that we’re giving him two weeks off, paid vacation, by order of… Well I guess you! You’re a princess just as much as I am now, after all!” She giggled into her hoof, then smiled warmly. “You really are a good friend, Twilight.”

Wild gave her a polite nod, smiling back at her with a lying muse. “Thank you, Princess. I’ll be sure to tell him right away!”

Wild returned to the Royal Archives, going right back over to White and giving her best dismissive chuckle. “Silly me! The reason I came to find you was to tell you that I’m giving you two weeks paid vacation! Starting now!”

“You are?” he said, sounding surprised, then quickly caught himself. “I-I mean, you are, your Highness?”

“Yep! You’re relieved of duty for the next two weeks! By order of… uh… me!”

White blinked, then smiled. “Well, if you insist, your Highness! Thank you!”

“Of course! Enjoy your two weeks off!”

White quickly cantered off toward the barracks, and Wild Card watched him leave before letting out a soft sigh of relief. “Alright, that bought me a lot of time. His days are freed up, so now I can work on squeezing some information out of him.” she muttered under her breath, “I just gotta figure out where he lives…”

Wild tried to shake off the feelings of guilt he had while he snuck out of the castle. They lingered as he turned back into a pegasus. He didn’t feel right lying to both a princess AND a guardspony in the same day, but on the same end, he was running out of options. Hiding near the entrance to the courtyard, he watched as White came out sans armor, and took to the skies to get to his house. Wild waited for a few extra moments, then took flight after him, keeping a decent distance so that it wasn’t obvious he was following him.

Finally, White landed in a middle class neighborhood at a pretty normal looking house. Wild wasn’t certain what he expected. He went into a bush, transformed into a bird, then flew back out and landed on a powerline adjacent to the upstairs window of the home. White entered the room Wild was looking into and let out a soft sigh, stretching to loosen up from the armor he had to wear before turning and sitting at a desk with what looked like a plastic tablet of some kind.

Wild watched as the tablet was separated into two halves, attached by a hinge on the far side, recognizing it, but only barely, as a laptop. He’d only seen advanced tech like laptops, cellular phones and the like a few times before in his infiltration missions, but had never used one. Too confusing. White opened a program… an internet browser, Wild remembered… and went to a site that depicted what looked like a plain white piece of paper. He opened a file, and the plain white paper became black suddenly, and several paragraphs in white appeared.

He scrolled down to the most recent paragraph, which seemed unfinished, and smiled. “Alright, time to get to work~”

There was several moments of inactivity and Wild looked confused. At least, as confused as a bird could look. White was just sitting there, hooves on the keyboard and staring blankly at the screen for several minutes before there was a frustrated huff and he closed the laptop.

“Figures. Two weeks paid vacation and I can’t even write. Why’s it so much easier to think away from my laptop?” he paused, “Well, when I’m standing around doing nothing at work, I don’t have a million things distracting me. Bluh…”

Wild deadpanned through the window for a few moments more, then flew down into an alley and turned into his pegasus form, going over to the door to knock but heard hoofsteps coming closer. He quickly turned himself into the first thing he could think of, which was a bunny, and hopped a few feet away and pretended to be incredibly interested in a small patch of grass that managed to push its way between the sidewalk stones.

The door swung open and White stepped back outside, taking a short, but deep breath before starting down the road, Wild only barely catching him mutter, “Maybe a walk will help get the creative juices flowing.” He waited for a few moments longer, then bounded into the alley again and turned back into his pegasus form, stepping out and looking down the road after him, scowling more out of frustration than actual anger.

“Alright, White… Let’s see what you come up with.”

He cantered after White, but made sure to make it seem like it wasn’t intentional. This sort of thing was something he was great at, being able to stalk ponies for upwards of several hours if need be. It was a skill many drones could use practice on. Or at least, that’s what he remembered.

He started to make a bullet-style list of traits White exhibited as he tailed him, muttering quietly under his breath.

“He’s polite, amiable, and humble. Not quite quiet, but not quite talkative either.”

This sort of thing was just habit at this point. Whenever he had to do infiltration missions, he’d tail the pony he was planning on using as a disguise and get a mental list of their most noticeable traits. Of course, he had no intention of disguising as White and becoming his doppelganger, but some habits are just too hard to break.

However, a pony can only go so long being followed before they become suspicious. That’s where the disguises come in. Every now and again, he’d swap to a new look in the same quick-change fashion he was used to. He’d pop behind a bush, walk past a crate, or ‘accidentally’ knock over a tarp and get covered by it. It was pretty easy to change in public, it was pretty hard to keep following a pony at the same time, however.

He must’ve been following White for at least 20 minutes before he finally came across something of note. A mare was walking, carrying two rather heavy looking grocery bags on her sides before the bottoms of the bags split open and spilled her goods all over the sidewalk. Wild had to do everything in his power to not burst into a fit of giggles at her misfortune, but this was quickly cut short when he saw White break into a run. He watched as White got new set of bags from a merchant, went right over to the mare, and helped gather all of her groceries into the new bags.

Wild looked on in surprise, with a hint of guilt tugging at him from almost laughing at the poor mare rather than do what White did. Something else he noticed was… the mare started to exude more love than she was previously. Not completely out-of-the-ordinary, he supposed. Ponies like it when others do nice things for them. Strictly out of curiosity, he concentrated on the mare for a moment, watching as what used to be a barely noticeable haze quickly became almost opaque, then he glanced at the titanic cloud that was White and nearly fell over.

The cloud must’ve doubled in size! He stared in awe at the massive cloud as he walked, only to crash muzzle first into a lamp post and actually fell over. White didn’t seem to notice, ironically, and continued to walk. Wild scowled a bit and stood back up, only a tiny bit jealous at the grocery-toting mare.

It took a minute and another disguise swap to catch up to White, about a block away now. He focused again, watching the huge hazy cloud from a distance, then shook his head as his muzzle pulsed in pain from crashing. He sighed a bit and looked back up, seeing White holding a door open for a stallion carrying a huge crate on his back. Wild did his best to concentrate past the pain, watching as the huge cloud only got bigger. At first he expected it to be from the stallion’s love mixing with White’s love, but no, it was easily the size of three grown ponies. He shuddered, accidentally getting a quick whiff of it. It was so intoxicating... 

He rubbed at his muzzle, as if trying to wave away the scent of White’s affection toward others. He ducked into an alley for a moment, turned back into his pegasus form, then stepped out into the street, focusing on the huge cotton-candy monster of a pony. If Wild was able to see past the cloud, he would’ve seen that White began to walk by a fan sitting on one of the merchant’s stands. Wild blinked as the cloud suddenly stretched out in his direction, catching him completely off-guard. He gasped, which only served to make the situation worse… That flavor! That scent! It was unlike anything Wild had ever tasted! And it was fantastic! He stopped to just bask in the love for a few moments, taking in slow, languid breaths as he became completely lost in the moment.

Moments felt like minutes and minutes felt like hours. Time was nothing but one big blur to Wild as he fed from White without even realizing he was doing it. It all just felt so natural! So inviting! Everything was great for those few minutes. He never wanted to leave. But alas, it came to an abrupt end as White finally passed the fan in its entirety, and as a result, the love eventually faded. Wild pouted as he watched White walking away, but that was quickly changed when he heard the sound of a carriage coming towards him. Turning his head, his eyes widened as he saw a huge cart speeding towards him, the driver waving his foreleg at him to get out of the way.

“MOVE IT MISTER! I CAN’T STOP THIS THING!!”

Wild gasped and braced for impact, clenching his eyes shut. There was an impact alright, but it wasn’t from a carriage against his exoskeleton. It was from a pair of hooves wrapping around his front in a full-body tackle. His eyes rattled around in his head for a moment before he managed to stop seeing double, then looked around. He was laying on his back, and a familiar white pegasus was laying nearby, on his front, before standing up and dusting himself off.

Ponies cheered around them for a few minutes as White helped Wild up, giving him a relieved smile.

“You okay? You were almost a pancake for a minute!”

“Y-Yeah I’m fine! You… you saved me!” Wild exclaimed, wide-eyed.

“Of course I did! I couldn’t stand by and watch you get run over!”

Wild blinked, then looked at White’s front, seeing what looked like-

“Oh my Celestia, you’re bleeding!!”

“What?” White looked at his chest, then laughed, shaking his head. “Oh no no, that’s not blood! That’s strawberry jam.” He pointed his hoof towards a smushed pastry, the only actual casualty of the past few moments.

“Oh, geez, sorry Wh- er.. M-Mister.” Wild said, rubbing his foreleg. “I’ll get you a new one.”

“Hey, that’s not necessary-”

“No, I insist! You saved me, it’s the least I can do.”

White continued to try to refuse, but Wild wasn’t taking no for an answer. They walked back to the bakery White had purchased the strawberry pastry and Wild paid for a new one, getting one for himself before turning back to his savior.

“What’s your name? Just so I know who saved my life~”

“My name is White! And really, it’s no big deal~ What’s your name?”

“Wild Card.” Wild said with a smile, completely disregarding the fact that he was supposed to be tailing him in secret.

“Wild Card, huh?” White said, donning a slightly nervous disposition, but kept a polite face. “It’s nice to meet you! Even if our first interaction is me shoving you out of the path of a runaway cart.”

“Well if we hadn’t met, I’d be flatter than your strudel!’

The two of them shared a laugh, and White looked at the pink stain on his chest. “Hehe, yeah~ Better it be the strudel than a pony if you ask me. So what happened anyway? Did you just… absently walk into traffic?”

“Er… y-yeah.” Wild’s cheeks suddenly became scarlet as he looked away, shrugging. “Yeah we’ll go with that.”

The two of them sat down and began to talk, something that was rather unheard of when it came to tailing ponies. But it was such a nice contrast, Wild didn’t see anything wrong with it at all! White told him about his hobbies, Wild shared some of his hobbies back… It was such a pleasant early afternoon chat. They got so lost in their conversation, that they even had a second pastry each~

Eventually, it came to an end and White had to go back home. “Aw, you can’t stay a little longer? We were having so much fun!”

“I would, but I’m pretty tired. I think I’m gonna take a nap. Maybe we can hang out again sometime!”

“I sure hope so. Thanks again for saving me!”

“That’s the 5th time you’ve said that!~” White teased, giggling.

“I know, I’m just really grateful!”

White smiled warmly and Wild could practically feel the cloud only grow even bigger. However, he had to go, so go he did. Wild sighed happily, leaning back in his chair and relaxing for a few extra moments before his eyes popped open as he came to the realization of what just happened.

“Oh Celestia damn it,” he said, slapping his forehead with a hoof.







Several hours later, Wild was stood in the back room of the bar while Case Load stared incredulously at him, tapping her hoof on the floor.

“Strider, do you mind explaining why there’s two titanic packages of you-know-whats sitting in my locker?”

“It’s a long story…” Wild said, looking to the side with pink cheeks. “The short version is that ah… certain stores have… special ordered supplies for certain customers.”

“That doesn’t explain why you thought it was appropriate to leave them here of all places!”

“I don’t exactly have a house in Canterlot, Case! I needed somewhere to dump my stuff and I had to think on the fly! Look, I’ll get rid of it by tomorrow.”

Case sighed, rubbing at her face with her hoof. “Whatever… What did you find out about your friend?”

“Well, I got him the next two weeks off with some string-pulling…And...then I was almost hit by a carriage. He saved me though, and we hung out for a while and chatted in a bakery.”

There was a few moments of silence as Case deadpanned at him. “What?! I still got some information! He’s a writer, he lives in a middle-class neighborhood in a two story house, he likes strawberry pastries...I wasn’t only goofing off…”

“Hm… Well, it took some digging, but I can confirm that the padded pop star you saw in the bar was indeed White.”

“How’d you find that out?”

“Ah tah tah. A magician never reveals their secrets. Now you know what they’re one and the same. If I were you, and thank Celestia I’m not you right now… I’d do some field work.”

“Field work…? What do you mean field work?”

Case Load suddenly grabbed the package of stallion-sized blue trimmed diapers and shoved them against Wild’s chest with a low brow. “You get into your disguise, go to that bar, and do some detective work. Like a spy should.”

Wild frowned, holding the diaper package against him as Case took her hoof away. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do. And by the sounds of it, you do too.”

Wild let out a sharp sigh and grabbed the bags of diapers, then flew off into the night towards Princess’ Playhouse. Dropping into an alley nearby, he found an abandoned crate to store the diapers in. He threw the first package he grabbed into the crate, then opened the second one, took one out, and threw the open package in with the others before putting the lid onto it. He went around the side of the bar where he found an open window to the bathroom, then climbed in.

As soon as he was back on his hooves, he looked at the diaper he grabbed and dropped it immediately. It was a mare’s diaper. He had mixed up the packages in the darkness of the alley!

“Oh you have got to be kidding me…” he groaned, looking at the pink-trimmed diaper disheartenedly. Knowing it was just easier to work with what he got, he went into a stall, put the crinkly undergarment on, which fit perfectly, surprisingly… and stepped out of the bathroom and into the bar. Thankfully, he saw a few other stallions wearing similar-styled diapers, so he wasn’t too embarrassed anymore.

Quietly, he meandered his way over to an empty booth, then went alllll the way into the back corner, making sure he was out of sight of the main stage so he could think for a few minutes without being interrupted by-

“HELLLLLOOOOO EVERYPONYYYYYYYY!!”

….her.

Princess began her routine as ponies cheered, and Wild did his best to stay out of sight. He heard heavy hoofsteps come down from the stage as Princess happily interacted with her patrons, hugging them, nuzzling them, and just generally being hard to ignore. She loved the spotlight, Wild gathered. She also seemed to love everypony here. 

Wild began making a mental bullet list like before, keeping out of sight for as long as possible. She liked to call other ponies here ‘babies’ regardless of age, and because this was a bar, everypony here was legal to drink, so… no actual children. She also liked to tease it seemed. She was intuitive, able to pick up on subtle hints.

Wild could hear the thumping from before only increase in volume, making a mental note to talk to the DJ at some point and tell them that their audio mixer needs adjusting. This much bass was making his teeth rattle.

Hugging and cradling ponies was one of her favorite things to do with her patrons. She seemed to know several of them, if not all of them, by name and doesn’t seem to forget a face.

Wild’s train of thought was interrupted however when he noticed that the ambient lighting of the bar suddenly became rather dark. Looking at the wall across from him, however, indicated that it wasn’t that it had darkened… it was being shadowed. Shadowed by something big. VERY big.

He slowly looked straight up, seeing Princess was leaning over the booth, head resting in one hoof as she smiled warmly at him like a big sister would do to a baby brother.

“Uh…H-Hello… P-Princess.”

Her smile was huge (though not nearly as big as her) as she said, “Welcome back, Wild~”  before suddenly coming around, moving the table out of the booth, and then getting into the booth beside him, sitting down and taking up practically the whole thing, smushing Wild with her titanic flank before pulling him up into a tight snuggle against her bosom.

“Heyy, what are you doing all by yourself, big boy? You’re missing out on the show, and more importantly, you’re missing out on me~ Perhaps you need some… encouragement?~”

Wild tried to say something but his words were muffled.

“Aww, too stunned for words~ I think I’ve got a cure for that!” She giggled and hugged him a little tighter, then got out from the booth and started to walk back towards her stage, letting Wild breathe. He gasped and panted a bit, coughing before looking around, seeing himself getting carried away.

“H-Hey wait! Where are you taking me?!”

“You’re so uptight, you need to relax a little more! Bartender, can I get my lil baby here a strawberry margarita? And make it a big one, he seems pretty thirsty!”

“I don’t need a strawberry margarita! I… wait, how big is big?”

Princess smiled warmly at him as she continued toward the stage, almost a sly grin. Almost. “I thought that’d catch your attention.” Wild turned to look at the bar, seeing the bartender mixing the cocktail in a shaker that was easily twice the size of what it should’ve been. Thankfully the bartender was a unicorn and he was using his magic, otherwise he wasn’t certain a pony of even Princess’ size would be able to hold it logically.

Before long, they were up on the stage and the bartender flung what looked like a huge pink baby bottle up to Princess, who caught it with an outstretched wing before tossing it up to her front and catching it in her free hoof and offering it to Wild. Wild wasn’t certain how he felt about drinking a cocktail out of a baby bottle, but… a cocktail was a cocktail. He grabbed it and began to suckle happily, thoroughly enjoying the sweet and tangy flavor of strawberry alcohol.

“There you go, drink up~” she cooed, soon rubbing behind his ear with her free hoof as she looked out at the crowd, “Alright everypony, I think I’ve found my snuggle partner for the night~ And what a snuggle partner he is~” The crowd let out a chorus of endearing awes as Wild continued to drink from the bottle, the alcohol quickly doing its magic of lowering his inhibitions.

“Now, now, there’s more than enough Princess for all of you~ A quick hiatus and I’ll be back to grace you with my presence~ As if I could stay away from this crowd for too long! Or, better said, as if this crowd could stay away from me~”

She looked down at Wild with a big smirk, rubbing behind his ear again. “So, big boy, what do you say to a nice, long snuggle session in the VIP room? Just me and you?~ Lots of cuddles, lots of smothering, lots of love…”

Wild’s ears perked up at the mention of “love” and immediately nodded without thinking, the bottle still firmly in his mouth as he continued to drink. Or perhaps he just didn’t want to think, he just wanted to relax and let someone else do the thinking for him for once. Either way, he figured, I get fed, I get drinks, and I get to learn a little more about Princess. It’s a win-win-win!

The huge pony smiled a little bigger, then turned and began to walk back toward the curtains leading backstage. “Great~ I promise this is going to be a night you’ll never forget~ After all, who could forget a face like mine?” She planted a loving nuzzle against his forehead, making Wild curl his head in a bit and smile bigger than he’s smiled in a long time.

As soon as they were backstage, Princess smirked and whispered to Wild, “Nice to see that you’re actually wearing a diaper this time. You’re gonna need it.”

Wild’s cheeks flushed, then he furrowed his brow as he pulled the bottle from his mouth. “I… beg your pardon?”

“Your diaper, you weren’t wearing one last time we met,” she said, looking ahead towards the VIP room, “It was some sort of illusion or fake diaper. Pretty convincing costume, if you ask me.”

“You… knew it was fake?” Wild muttered, sounding more ashamed than embarrassed, but Princess suddenly tickled his underside and made him giggle, kicking his hind legs.

“Of course I did~ But don’t worry, I’m not mad~ Lovely choice of diaper by the way~ It’s not everyday I see a cross-gendered diaper on a newcomer!”

“Oh y-yeah.. Ehehe… um… They were out of… boy diapers,” he muttered, looking to the side as his cheeks became red, then he quickly looked up at her. “And.. wait what did you mean ‘I’m gonna need it’?”

Princess didn’t answer, instead she just entered the VIP room, smiling at him. “Welcome to my personal slice of heaven~”

Wild gasped, looking into a huge bedroom with reddish-purple walls, a huge velvety bed, a lit-up vanity, a dresser with drawers big enough for a full grown pony to sleep in… It was exactly what you’d expect from a bedroom for a pony of Princess’ stature.

“It’s… beautiful, Princess!”

“I know!~ And it’s gonna be your personal snuggle dungeon for the next hour or so~ I can’t keep my adoring fans waiting too long, now can I?” She walked over to the bed, kicking off her high heels before sitting on the edge of the bed and smiling at him.

“So, Wild, what’s your pleasure? Do you like rough stuff? Smothering? I aim to please and I intend to help you live out every little fantasy going through your head~”

“I… um…” Wild went dead silent, turning bright red and looking away, “um...I don’t know, this has all gone so fast!”

“Aww, is my lil baby getting cold hooves?” she cooed, then hugged him against her bosom again, cuddling him like a teddy bear, “Hehe, lemme warm up your frozen tootsies~”

Wild gasped a bit, forgetting for just a moment who he was dealing with, and getting another deep inhale of that intoxicating flavor, which was more than enough to make him practically melt in Princess’ forelegs. The rest of the night was nothing more than a pinkish blur for Wild. Everything just sort of… happened and then it was over. If he was asked to describe the events, one would find him unable to remember much of anything aside from “pink” and “warm”. Whatever happened though, he found himself waking up laying on a cardboard slat in an alley a few blocks away.

Opening his eyes, he let out a pained groan from the pounding headache he had, as well as from the light shining from the sun beaming high overhead. Clenching his eyes shut, he slowly stood up, letting out a low groan for the second time that morning as he stretched his stiff joints and… that’s… new. He wasn’t certain if it was the hangover or if it was the stiffness, but for some reason, his hips felt… heavier. A lot heavier actually. Craning his neck to look over his shoulder, he could see that he was still wearing the diaper from last night.

He looked forward again, blinking a few times before his eyes bugged out and his entire face became a brilliant scarlet color, the realization setting in very quickly. Off came the diaper and he flew to the nearest raincloud, giving it a swift kick before darting underneath the shower it produced. He sat under the now empty cloud for a few extra moments, soaking wet.

“Nobody can ever know about that.”
> Chapter 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three weeks have passed since then, and White and Wild have been getting along great. Wild did eventually end up going home to Ponyville once or twice, but made sure to always return to Canterlot to pay his friend a visit. White didn’t get a lot of off-time, but when he did, it was nice spending it with him. And it was also nice spending time with Princess, even if he didn’t always remember it. In fact, Wild ended up going there so often that he’s had to start making weekly trips to Powder’s Emporium just to keep up with his visits to the bar. Strictly for drinking purposes. Not because he likes diapers. That’d just be silly. Princess’ Playhouse has great cocktails. Why else would he go there?

At any rate, Wild had returned to Canterlot for one of his visits (and making sure that he had a hotel to stay at this time), spoke with Case Load and continued to gather evidence about White’s double life. Wild shook his head at the thought as he quietly trotted towards Powder’s Emporium, letting out a soft, yet audible, sigh.

“I wish he would get his head on straight… I’ve lead double lives… Triple lives even! They’re awful and cause nothing but trouble and heartache for everybody involved. Once he learns that, he’ll drop this whole… Princess act. Or maybe he’ll quit being a royal guard. I’m not really sure who I’m talking about anymore… Princess or White? Who’s the real pony in that equation?”

He paused outside the store, shaking his head again. “Well whoever’s the ‘real pony’, I’m sure they’ll figure out that I’m right sooner or later. I just… gotta figure out how to tell them without revealing my nature to them.”

He stepped inside, too lost in thought to remember to put on his usual disguise. Thankfully though, the clerk, Powder, knew who he was already and waved him through the black curtain without a second glance. Wild continued to mutter to himself about ‘double lives’ and the like as he scanned the shelves, looking at the thick packages of diapers, unaware that there was a second shopper there that day.

White walked past the aisle that Wild was in at first, then stopped and quickly backpedalled, looking at the pegasus standing in the aisle. He seemed surprised at first, then smiled and stood there, watching Wild shop for a moment. Eventually, Wild stopped muttering and kind of froze up, feeling the sensation that he was being watched. He turned his head down the aisle and saw White standing there, giving him a huge, knowing smile. Wild’s entire face became bright red and he chuckled nervously, then looked around pretending he was lost.

“Oh goodness, how did I end up back here? This isn’t the furniture store!” Wild glanced at White to see if he was buying it, only to see him leaning against the shelf, the smile never leaving his face. Wild took that as his cue to leave, starting by slowly backing up to the other end of the aisle, then darting around the corner. White followed, however, and slowly began to advance on his friend.

Wild did everything in his power to throw White off his trail, and eventually, it seemed like he had lost him. He slowly peeked around the corner, looking for the snowy pegasus.

“Wild?” a voice said from right behind him, making him jump a good 5 feet in the air and spin around to face White, who was still smiling, in a cute, half-teasing way. Wild backed up, feeling the shelf behind him block his only other escape route as White stood in front of him.

“You shopping here too?” he chirped, smiling warmly.

“N-No! I uh.. Was looking for the bathroom!” Wild said, wide-eyed. White chuckled, sitting down.

“Wild, it’s okay, I’m into diapers too. There’s no need to be embarrassed.”

“I-I don’t- You’re not-” Wild stammered, then shook his head and looked rather distressed. “Y-You’re not supposed to be here! N-Not right now! Not… Not…!”

“Not while you’re here?” White said with another chuckle. “Why not? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Wild~”

There was a bit of a pause as the trembling false pony eventually stopped doing his greatest impression of an earthquake, but he was still awfully nervous.

“I… suppose this came as a bit of a surprise to you too, huh?” White said, looking to the side with a goofy smile. “You think you know somepony, right?”

He began to laugh, only to be completely thrown off by Wild Card laughing much more loudly, and in a much more forced, and rather strained manner. The orange stallion trailed off, his mouth becoming a wobbly smile as the snowy pegasus gave him a concerned look.

“Wild, really, it’s okay! I’m a diaper lover too, I don’t judge!”

Something behind Wild’s eyes snapped when he realized that White was still talking about the diapers, and that whole “think you know somepony” remark was about that and not at all how Wild was boldfaced lying to somepony who had become a great friend to him. Letting out a nervous sigh, he pretended to take calming breaths, then gave White a bashful smile.

“Sorry… I just didn’t really take you for the diaper… uh… type, you know? But it’s…” Wild rolled his eyes as he tried to find a nice word to say about the whole thing without sounding like he was overcompensating, “comforting,to know that somepony close to me also likes it~”

White nodded, gently placing his hoof onto Wild’s shoulder. “I think it’s nice that you’re letting yourself indulge in this stuff! It’s important to be true to yourself, you know?”

“HAHAHAHA!! ABSOLUTELY!!”

Great cover, idiot.

“You sure you’re feeling okay?” White said, beginning to look concerned again.

“YES I-...” Wild took another breath and cleared his throat, then smiled calmly. “Sorry… I’m fine, really. Just still… getting over the shock, you know?”

“If I’m making you uncomfortable, I can just pretend that we didn’t see each other here-”

“No!” Wild paused, then gave his friend a patient smile. “I-I mean, no, it’s fine, really! I just… You caught me at a rather… vulnerable moment. But it’s nice that you like it too, so it’s okay! We got dirt on each other! Eheh… S-So to speak.”

White gave him a curious stare and nodded, then shrugged a bit. “As long as you’re sure.”

The two of them purchased their packages of pampers and began to head out, before White continued, looking at his friend.

“So, I heard that somepony was impersonating Princess Twilight Sparkle a few weeks back.”

Wild just about stopped dead in his tracks but thankfully caught himself before he blew his cover.

“Oh? You mean like… a purple unicorn or something using some magic and make-up? Freaky! What did you think they wanted?”

“I dunno. And I don’t think it was just some make-up, or cosmetics. She was incredibly life-like. Sounded exactly like her! Princess Celestia believes it may have been a rogue changeling or something.”

“Oh, wow! R-Rogue changeling, huh? So why are you telling me this? Isn’t this like… super secret royal guard stuff or… something?”

“Not really, they don’t think this changeling is a threat. He’s mostly been pulling pranks. He was actually the one who got me those 2 weeks off a while ago! Could you believe it? A rogue changeling busts into the Royal Archives and all they do is just give some random guard a paid vacation!”

A feeling of relief washed over Wild, and he chuckled, doing his best not to sound nervous out of his wits.

“Weird! Like… SUPER weird! Maybe this changeling just wants to play games and live a normal life or something! Might explain why they’re not just… ya know, charging into the Royal Archives and emptying the joint, right?”

“I feel like the fact that 8 armed royal guards are watching every corner of the place is more of the reason.” White said, giving his tail a flick with a smirk. “We don’t get paid to stand around musty old books just to look pretty you know.”

“W-Well, I dunno anything about that. I’m just… me! Not some fancy-schmancy royal guard like yourself!”

“Oh please, there’s nothing fancy about standing around and looking tough.” White rolled his eyes as they walked, and Wild shook his head.

“No no, really! I mean, they trust you and a whole platoon of other ponies to guard the most powerful ponies in the entire nation! That’s nothing to sneeze at!”

“Yeah, but I’m not a guard of THAT caliber yet. I’m mostly on quick jobs, and long shifts of standing in a hallway or patrolling a library…”

Wild Card let out a huff, scrunching up his muzzle. His best friend was not only being served a king’s ransom, but also probably raked in hundreds of bits a night prancing around as that boisterous show pony in that bar he’s not allowed to talk about. Wild would’ve KILLED for a job like that back at his hive, but instead he was an infiltrator, someone doing the dirty work while the “brains” got the credit for making the plan. Hundreds of hours spent masquerading as another pony just to get some silly codes or a blueprint, and White gets to masquerade as one of the loudest, biggest things this side of Equestria and he gets paid for it!

He couldn’t lie to himself, as much as he was trying to will himself to. He was jealous. White had such a cushy double life that he takes it for granted, while HE had to struggle to get food let alone bits for his double life work. In fact, 9 times out of 10, the pony he was disguised as was some snooty lawyer or a nobel or a servant! He didn’t get to dress up in frilly costumes and snuggle people to his heart’s content! A job like that would be a changeling’s DREAM!

“Wild?” White said, looking over his shoulder. Wild didn’t even realize he had stopped in the middle of the street, he was too busy fuming to himself. “You okay?”

Wild took in a deep, shaky breath, then nodded. “Er… yeah. I just… sorry White, I just… I gotta take a breather. Still getting over the shock, you know? Uh… do you wanna go out for drinks later or something?”

White shook his head, giving him a smile that Wild saw right through. “Can’t. Busy day tomorrow, gotta get lots of bedrest, you know? I’ll see you tomorrow, though! I have a day off!”

“Yeah, take care!” Wild said, waving his hoof as White took to the skies, then he made his way to his hotel, grumbling the entire way. “Double lives are nothing but trouble. Just because he’s got it good now, doesn’t mean that it’ll last! He’s gotta understand one day or another that you can’t balance two lives like this without one side eventually toppling!”

He went into his hotel room, setting his bags on the ground. “And now he knows I wear diapers as White too! Er… Wait he… already knew that.”

Letting out a frustrated groan, he threw himself onto the bed and buried his face in the pillow, sighing heavily and letting his disguise fall. He was in private, and even if somepony saw him, he was too frustrated and tired to care. Besides, changelings are apparently good now, or something. That new king, Thorax, keeps visiting town and there’s even one changeling going to that new Friendship School in Ponyville. As if he needed one of THEM around him constantly too.

“This is confusing… I never know who I’m speaking to when I’m with him.”

He turned his head so his cheek rested against the pillow, gazing over at the full length mirror affixed to the closest wall. Quietly standing up, he approached the mirror and glared at himself.

“Look at you, Wild… Carapace as black as onyx, piercing blue soulless eyes, limbs with more holes than a piece of swiss cheese…” He scowls more. “No pony would even want to associate with you let alone cuddle and be friends. Ick.”

Sitting down, he looks over his crater-ridden foreleg, frowning. 

“The only thing these stupid things are good for is opening bottles or something.” He paused and looked back at his reflection remorsefully, then, with a heavy sigh, began to rub at his temple with a hoof. “I need a nap.”

Wild stood up, double-checked the door was locked and the Do Not Disturb sign was hung on the outside, then crawled under the covers and laid his head against the fluffy pillow. He mused about how warm the bed was, smiling and yawning before closing his eyes and falling into a deep sleep, his mind wandering to fleeting images of big white pegasi and pink hazes.







Awakening later that evening, adopting his pegasus form and taking flight to the bar once more. Quietly heading in, he approached the bar to a very sympathetic looking Case Load.

“Another rough one?” she said with a half-smile.

“...Could I talk to you in private?”

Realizing that Wild wasn’t totally himself at the moment, and that the bar was rather quiet that night, she took him into the employee break room and sat him down.

“What’s up, Wild?”

“I’m worried about my cover, Case. The guards know that a changeling broke into the Archives, and that a changeling got White those weeks off! They don’t know it’s me specifically, but with that rumor floating around, they’re going to start outfitting their guards with those things!” Wild half-shouted in a mild panic, pointing at Case’s amulet.

“Whoa whoa, calm down Wild!”

“Calm down?!” Wild put his hooves to his head and shivered, “I-I was impersonating a PRINCESS, Casey! A PRINCESS! That’s gotta be some sort of felony or… or…”

“Wild, relax, you said they haven’t figured out it’s you, right?”

“R-Right…”

“And do you really think that the Canterlot Guard has the kind of bits to shell out to equip every guardpony with one of these amulets?”

“...No.”

“So relax. As long as you don’t make any weird moves or act too suspiciously, you shouldn’t be in hot water yet. And to be honest, it sounds like you could take a night off from the bar-hopping tonight. Take tonight off. White will be around tomorrow~”

Wild nodded, huffing.

“Maybe you’re right, Casey. Maybe I’m just getting worked up over nothing. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He smiled, gave Case Load a hug and a nuzzle, then turned and left the bar. It was a short flight back to the hotel and while he was rather well-rested as is, there was no reason he had to be out every night. Besides, like she said, White would be around tomorrow! The night actually went by pretty quietly, something that Wild was silently thankful for. A night to relax, enjoy himself and not have to worry about the who’s and the what’s.

The following morning, however, proved to be a bit more hectic. As Wild walked through the streets, ponies spoke in excited, hushed whispers and busied themselves with tidying and getting out their best stock. He went to the market, to find it busier than ever. Curious, he went to one of the less active stalls and asked the shopkeeper what was causing such a commotion.

“Haven’t you heard? We’re getting visiting royalty!!”

“Visiting royalty…? From where? The Dragonlands? Griffonstone?”

“Better! King Thorax himself is coming to Canterlot!”

Wild felt all the blood drain from his face and his vision became blurry.

“Whoa, mister, are you okay? You look kind of pale!” The shopkeeper frowned.

“Yeah, I’m fine, really. Uh… When did you say he was due?”

“Why, he’s coming in today! It must be important! Rumor says that he’s bringing a whole crowd of his subjects with him to the castle!”

“A...A whole crowd?” Wild said, the stress levels building quickly once more. “Okay, uh… T-Thanks for the heads up! I just remembered I have to clean up!”

Wild turned tail and hurried away, looking at the clocktower ahead of him.

“If I can just get to the train station, I can get out of town before-”

Loud trumpets sounded from the town square behind him, and shouts of glee soon followed. Wild spun around to see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna come down to the square, greeting the new Changeling King… King Thorax.