> Heir of Generosity? > by PaulAsaran > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > What She Wants > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sweetie’s voice was… um… lovely. I mean, it was a bit high pitched. Just a little. The birds did fly away, but I’m sure they had their reasons. Good reasons that weren’t related to Sweetie’s voice. Even if it was a mite off key. “That was a… good start?” I offered, doing my best to smile encouragingly. Oh, dear, it seems I’ve forgotten the setting. See, we were in my cottage, and Sweetie had arrived for her weekly singing lessons. Did you know about those? It was Rarity’s idea, and it was a genuinely good one. I don’t like that she’s paying me for the lessons, I would have done it for free, and Sweetie’s a delight to be around. But Rarity seems to have it in her head that I could use the bits. I don’t, I’m fine. I just don’t like arguing with her. I just put the money into the Sanctuary’s funds and considered it a donation. Was I rambling? I’m sorry. Can I get you anything? Tea? Fluffier pillow? I’d offer my better one, but Angel’s using it and… Right. Sorry. Sweetie really does have a wonderful singing voice… most of the time. All I’ve been doing is showing her how to control it. The birds are always so helpful with that, and they love doing the chorus, but they’d just flown off. Not because of Sweetie’s high-pitched note just then, oh, no, certainly not. Sweetie didn’t seem to think that was true though. She frowned, face all pink like a butterfly’s wings, and looked at the floor. “Sorry, Fluttershy.” “Oh, that’s alright,” I replied, settled on my couch opposite her. “We all have our bad days.” She kneaded her couch with her forehooves, not unlike Opalescence might, but with fewer actual scratches. “I think I’ve been having a bad week.” “Really? Is everything okay?” I had an idea already. Not that I would gossip about somepony behind their back or anything. It’s just that I’d been at the spa with Rarity just the other day and she’d said some things that were concerning. Things that I honestly never thought I’d hear. “Everything’s fine,” Sweetie declared. Her cheeks got red and puffed up a little, like a tiny finch might if it felt threatened. “I just have some things on my mind, that’s all. Let me try again.” She did, and she sang the song much better on her second try. I was willing to let her dodge the question, but of course I was worried now. I know it’s not my place to push my way into other ponies’ affairs. That’s why I tried to keep quiet and just continue with the lesson. The birds came back once they realized Sweetie had fixed the problem, and I wasn’t about to waste their time. The precious dears were so nice to donate it for these lessons. The song wasn’t long. It was mostly for practicing high notes, and Sweetie did a good job. Really. Maybe not as good as she normally would, but still good. She was usually happy to hear my praise, but on that day she took it stoically. That only made my suspicions worse. I guess she noticed, because her ears drooped and she looked away from me, sort of like how Angel does when he knows he’s been caught doing something naughty. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I guess I’m just not feeling it today.” Yes, I said I shouldn’t pry. But was I supposed to leave it at that? One downside to my nature is that it’s hard to leave things be when you want to help. I didn’t even know if I could, but everypony could use a friendly ear sometimes. Besides, I had been asked. “Do you think maybe we should stop?” Sweetie asked while I pondered. “I don’t wanna waste your time and all.” With a wave of my wing, I dismissed the bird choir. I didn’t think we’d have much use for them this lesson. “You’re never a waste of my time, Sweetie. Is this related to Scootaloo?” Her eyebrows shot up, but then she glowered at me. “Rarity said something, didn’t she?” “She’s concerned.” I reached down to take my tea in hoof. Despite her upset features, she followed my lead. “Of course she tells me about her problems. And since this time her problems are your problems…” “Her problems?” She scoffed, once again kneading my couch. “Since when does the mighty Rarity ever have problems? She’s got a new shadow now, and all the better! I didn’t need her, anyway.” I sipped my tea during her little outburst, letting its delightful flavor stave off any anxiety I might have felt. That done, I set the cup back down and watched as Sweetie steamed, her cup hovering untouched in her magic’s aura. “That sounds serious.” “It’s not.” With a disdainful “hmmph” that sounded a lot like one of Rarity’s, she turned her nose up high and drank her tea. We sat in silence for a few moments. Or as silent as we could in my cottage full of animals. They’re polite enough to keep it down when I have visitors, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t still hear them. They were all steering clear today. No doubt they recognized Sweetie’s emotional state and wanted to give her space. They’re good at detecting feelings like that. “Sorry I ruined our lesson.” “Oh, you haven’t ruined anything.” I smiled, but it did little to remove the expression of Sweetie’s face. It was an evocative thing right now, with her brow furrowed and her lips pouting, one ear laid flat and the other up high, her head tilted slightly to one side as her eyes met mine. Confusion, guilt, and anger, all warring for attention. “I know kindness is your thing and all,” Sweetie replied, “but you don’t have to lie to make me feel better.” “But I’m not lying.” I waved my hoof at the sheet music lying on the table between us. “Ponies have bad days. I can still teach you even if we aren’t singing.” Sweetie’s face only grew more frustrated. I’ve seen that look on ponies before. It usually comes when they want to say something they think will upset me, but don’t want to be mean. Having a reputation for daintiness can do that. It’s honestly more annoying than beneficial. I’m not made of glass, for Celestia’s sake. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice. Anyway, Sweetie finally found her words. “And if I didn’t want to continue the lesson for today?” “That’s your decision,” I replied. “I’d reconsider if I were you. Maybe I don’t want to talk about music either.” “Yeah?” Sweetie leaned back, her eyes wide like Gummy’s for a moment in apparent surprise. “So what do you want to talk about?” What, indeed? I knew better than to jump into the topic hooves first. That kind of logic only ever worked for ponies like Rainbow Dash. This was a tender topic, so I approached it just like I might a baby chicken fresh out of the egg. They really are skittish things. “I was just wondering about what Rarity told me before. She’s known to exaggerate when in a gossiping mood, I’m sure you know. I don’t want to get the wrong idea.” To my relief, Sweetie giggled. “Yeah, that sounds like Rarity, all right. She once told me gossip is an ‘artform’. I have no idea what she meant.” “She uses gossip as a tool,” I explained easily, having learned this long ago. “Filling a pony’s head with certain things can make them do other things. Do you remember how those three-feather fascinators were all the rage in Ponyville for about a month?” I was rewarded by another of Sweetie’s musical giggles. “Oh, yeah! I thought everypony looked real silly. Especially Spoiled Rich. Those peacock feathers did not flatter her at all.” Yes, a few ponies certainly did look ridiculous. Not that the fascinators didn’t look lovely on a great many ponies as well, but it’s easier to remember the ones that looked ridiculous. “Did you know that Rarity started that trend by gossiping to certain wealthy ponies in town?” “Really?” At my nod, Sweetie tilted her head back to take on a thinking pose. She reminded me a lot of a cat looking up at a bird in a tree and puzzling how to get to it. Her tail even flicked a couple times. “But Rarity didn’t make any of those. Why would she start a trend if she’s not about to profit from it?” I turned my attention to Mr. Fuzzlemuzzle – oh, he’s a ferret – when he climbed on the arm of my chair. He just needed a little attention, and I was happy to pet him. Ferrets are so soft! “Rarity did it for a friend of hers in Canterlot who needed to make some sales badly. I benefited too; where do you think the feathers came from?” “Huh.” Sweetie pondered this for a moment, then grinned. “That is so Rarity.” “It is just like her, isn’t it? Finding ways to help two friends at once.” I nuzzled Mr. Fuzzlemuzzle with a grin of my own, then shooed him with a murmured apology. Turning back to Sweetie, I said, “I think she was trying to arrange something similar at the spa the other day.” Sweetie cocked her head once more. “I don’t follow.” “She said, and I quote.” I threw my foreleg over my head, which I leaned far back just as I’d seen Rarity do countless times, and tried to match her voice. “Oh, it’s terrible, Darling! I think my sister and her friends are breaking up. It’s the end of the Cutie Mark Crusaders as we know it.” “What?” Sweetie bounded from the couch to stand with legs splayed and eyes wide. “No way, the Crusaders are forever!” Then, after only a second, she started to giggle. “And that was a really good impression of my sister.” Following her lead with some chuckles of my own, I said, “Why, thank you. I tried my best.” “It was awesome. I’ll have to get you to do some more impressions later.” Flicking her mane and recovering from her giggle fit, Sweetie once again looked like a proper lady. She’d clearly taken Rarity’s example to heart, although her muzzle was still just a teensy bit too high. “But really, there’s no way the Crusaders are breaking up.” I smiled at her confidence. “So you’re not going through a rough patch? Rarity was exaggerating?” “Rarity exaggerates a lot. You can’t be a drama queen without it,” she reminded me, but then her smile faded. “I don’t need a lecture on how we’re still friends and all that. Apple Bloom and Scoots mean the world to me.” “I see.” Pausing to sip my tea, I waited until she was comfortable in the couch again. “Even if one of them is taking all Rarity’s attention?” “Scootaloo’s not taking all her attention! I’m letting her have it.” Rarity would surely have scolded her for having a scowl that fierce. She would have called it ‘unladylike’. Sweetie turned her face away to glare out the window, paying no mind to the trio of mockingbirds on the sill. Her words grew stronger until she was growling. “I could get back into Rarity’s good graces anytime I want. I just feel like sharing the love. That’s the generous thing to do, right? The Rarity thing. She doesn’t need to spend time with me, and I don’t need to spend time with her.” My heart went out to the poor dear just then. The tears welling up in her eyes gave truth to the lie, and I could see she was fighting them so very hard. Seeing such a close friend, a mare I watched grow from filly to… well, almost an adult, being in pain like that wasn’t easy. Then I thought about how Rarity must have felt, seeing the same scene as I was then, but on a regular basis. Rarity is a wonderful pony, but even she has things she doesn’t know how to handle. I asked, as gently as I could, “Do you think trying to be generous will catch her attention?” The scowl didn’t leave her face, but her ears drooped back on her head. Still glaring out the window at my flower garden, she said, “I told you, I don’t need her attention.” “Then what do you need?” Sweetie was silent, but her heavy-lidded eyes shifted in thought. Her jaw clenched, and her breathing started to grow uneven. Her knees began to shake. I knew what was coming, had seen it before in the mirror once or twice. I set my tea down and stood, but didn’t approach. You can’t rush these sorts of things, and I didn’t want to scare her away. If I knew Sweetie Belle right, moving too fast would ruin the one chance I had at getting her to open up. For Sweetie Belle isn’t like her sister. She can’t face her problems head on, and she’ll run away if she doesn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. She always has been one for the easy way out. “I… I d-don’t know.” The words were quiet, strained. “What do you c-care, anyway?” She glanced at me, frustration and a little fear in her eyes. I didn’t bother to answer. An answer might give her an out, even if it meant being unreasonable. I just watched her, encouraging her calm by being an example of the concept. Her eyes begged me to reconsider, to give her that opening she needed, the excuse required to get out of this conversation. The longer I waited, the more her body trembled. After what may have been a full minute, she turned from me to hide the tear that finally escaped. “You’re supposed to be the nice one,” she grumbled. “I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to be like Rarity. I don’t want to get between this new thing her and Scootaloo have going. I don’t want to be jealous. I know all these things I don’t want, but nothing that I do, and it’s driving me crazy. Scootaloo is supposed to be Rainbow Dash’s little sister, and instead she’s butting in on mine and it’s not fair!” It was a start. I took a step closer, not sure if I should commit yet. Sweetie was like a dove that might fly away if I made the wrong move. “Do you really think Scootaloo’s trying to be Rarity’s little sister?” “No. Maybe. I don’t know that either! But she’s… They’re always…” She bowed her head, still turned away from me. “Why are you conf-fronting me like this?” I wanted to answer that. I couldn’t. She was trying to push me away from the main topic, and I couldn’t let her do that. I paused just behind her, wary lest the dove fly away. When I didn’t answer, she let out a piteous sound that reminded me of poor doggy separated from his momma. “What am I supposed to be?” I had been prepared for a great many things. Rarity had had her theories as to what the problem was, most of them related to jealousy. So that’s what I’d prepared for. Sweetie’s question didn’t seem at all related to that though, and before I could stop myself I asked, “What?” She was crying in earnest now, a sound that always hurts no matter where it comes from. Though she didn’t turn to me, I could see her rubbing at her eyes with a lone fetlock. “I’m supposed to be the next Rarity, right? T-take up her mantle? Be generosity. I thought that was how it worked. S-so why is she teaching Scootaloo all about it and not me?” It took me a moment. I hadn’t been ready. “You want to… be Rarity’s heir?” At last, she turned to me, cheeks streaked with tears that ruined her mascara. She stared at me with the big eyes of a little foal lost in a big place, all alone and scared. “I don’t know. Am I supposed to be?” She rubbed her eye and choked on a sob. “I-isn’t that what everypony expects of me?” “Oh, Sweetie…” At last I understood, and with that understanding I felt assured. Stepping forward, I wrapped a wing about her withers and pressed her close. “Nopony ever said you had to take Rarity’s place.” “B-but she told me,” Sweetie muttered between sharp breaths. “Sh-she said you all agreed to keep the Elements going, t-to find ponies to carry your lessons into the future.” I smiled and rubbed at her eyes with my free wing. “Did she say she wanted it to be you?” Her eyes fell to her hooves. “W-well, no. But I thought it was implicit.” “And do you want to be the next Bearer of Generosity?” Sweetie chewed her lip. When she glanced at me, there was so much fear. I didn’t have to ask to know it was fear of disapproval. She was only able to hold my gaze for a second before she looked at the floor once more. It was all the answer I needed. I guided her back to the couch, settling down at her side and keeping my wing around her. Then I poured another cup of tea and got her to drink. Her horn barely managed to hold the cup, and she spilled a little. She apologized, but I shushed her, bade her to finish it. Mr. Nutmeg and Ms. Treebark – squirrels – cleaned up the mess while she nursed her tea. I rewarded them later with some nice, fresh acorns. When at last Sweetie had regained some control, I had something I could say to address her problem. “You know, we didn’t establish any rules for how we pick our ‘heirs’. That’s what Rainbow likes to call them, by the way.” Settling down on her barrel, Sweetie watched me out the corner of her eye. “What do you mean?” I nestled beside her, getting comfy as I recalled all that I knew of the subject. “Twilight wants to get an apprentice, like Celestia did before her. Not Starlight, but somepony younger, and not right away. She said she’d probably wait another ten years. Rainbow has it in her head she’ll find somepony at the Wonderbolts Academy someday, but isn’t in a rush to do so. Pinkie and me, we’re just going to let things happen and not go out of our way to look for somepony. Applejack…” I couldn’t resist a warm smile. “Well, she knows Apple Bloom’s determined to be hers, and she’s felt no inclination to deny her.” “But that’s what everypony expects to happen for me and Rarity!” Sweetie clenched her eyes tightly closed, fighting back sniffles. “I’m supposed to be the Apple Bloom to Rarity’s Applejack.” I hummed, giving myself a moment to gather my thoughts. “You know, my parents wanted me to be a nephologist.” I chuckled at her cocked head. “Somepony who studies clouds.” “Ooooh.” “They saved up money, thinking they’d send me to an elite college in Cloudsdale. They decorated my room with cumulous and nimbostratus, taught me all the complex words while I was still little. They didn’t mind that I was a weak flier so long as I could handle clouds, and I could. Daddy used to brag about how much I was learning.” I frowned, eyes going to the sky outside my window. “If I wanted to, I could tell you about the clouds in the sky, why they were chosen for today instead of any other, and how the weather team choosing them means certain things. For example, in two or three days we’ll have rain.” Sweetie stared at me as if she had no idea who I was. Not that I can blame her. “You can tell that just by looking at some clouds?” “Weather patterns exist for a reason, and I knew those patterns before I was old enough to have my cutie mark.” I glanced back at the shield on her flank. “Of course, then I did. Have it, I mean.” Sweetie stared at me, then at her cutie mark. Abruptly, her ears folded back and she began to fidget. “R-right. I guess that was awkward.” I nodded, recalling that day so long ago. “I was so happy to have my mark, but also terrified of what my parents would think. I stayed down here for two days, afraid to approach anypony for help. Not because I was afraid of them, you understand.” “But because you didn’t want to face your parents.” Sweetie sighed and nodded. “I guess they didn’t take it well.” “It was certainly a shock at first.” I tightened my wing around her, once more turning my attention to the sky out the window. “Their little dream was gone. Dad took it harder than Mom did. But after the excitement of finding me and the surprise of my cutie mark passed, do you know the first thing he did?” I grinned at Sweetie’s curious expression. “He bought me a lifetime pass to the Cloudsdale Zoo.” Sweetie opened her mouth. Her ears alternated flopping up and down as her brow rapidly furrowed and unfurrowed. At last she managed to ask the single most obvious question: “Cloudsdale has a zoo?” “A small one, but it made me so happy.” I raised my hoof, letting Ms. Robinson the Robin land on it and give a few chirps. I nodded to her in thanks and she flew back out the window. “I couldn’t live on the ground until I was old enough, but I could visit the zoo animals whenever I wanted. Mom would later take me on brief trips to White Tail Woods, which was even better. By the way, Rarity’s on her way.” Sweetie’s pupils shrank. “Sh-she is? Why?” I shrugged and told the truth. “I don’t know. Maybe she wanted to visit me. Or perhaps she wants to spend some time with you. You are her little sister, after all.” “That’s not—” I set the tip of my wing against her lips. “Sweetie, why do you think I told you about my parents?” Since my wing was still blocking her mouth, she merely copied my earlier shrug. To that I smiled. “The expectations of others are not your own, and so you are under no obligation to meet them. If you decide you don’t want to be Rarity’s heir, nopony will be upset about it. Surprised, perhaps, but I assure you, they’ll get over it.” It seemed that was too much for her to take, for she pushed my wing away and declared, “That can’t be true.” Yet there was a slight weakness in her voice, putting her newfound doubts on display. “It’s very true,” I reiterated. “So I ask you again: what do you want to be?” She shrank back on the couch, eyes darting to the door as though she expected Rarity to walk in any second. She rubbed her mane back from her face and met my gaze. “I… I want to go to Manehattan. I want to be a singer on Bridleway.” I turned my head to give her a sidelong, sly look. “And Rarity?” Again with the darting eyes. She swallowed audibly. “I-I… I don’t want to be her heir. I don’t want to be an Element Bearer.” She closed her eyes tight and trembled, and I could understand why. I turned to face her properly, smiling all the while as I waited. I’m very good at waiting. Quiet Game World Champion, remember? At last, she peeked at me with one eye. “D-doesn’t that upset you?” “Should it?” I asked with a little emphasis. “Yes!” Sweetie pressed even more tightly against the corner of the couch, her breath suddenly coming in small bursts. “I know what everypony wants and they’re all watching me and thinking I’ve got to be just like Rarity but I don’t want to be anything but me but nopony wants that and why aren’t you mad at me?” With quiet shushes, I reached out and embraced her. She didn’t struggle, but she did quiver as she continued hyperventilating. “It’s okay,” I whispered in her ear. “Just breathe, Sweetie. Can you do that for me? Breathe.” It took some time, and I felt quite a few tears on my coat in the meantime. But eventually Sweetie calmed down enough to return my hold, her hooves clutching at me like a baby raccoon clings to its mother. She said nothing, and I followed her lead. With every passing minute, she grew more and more calm until, at last, she pulled away. Rubbing her tear-streaked face, she asked again, “Why aren’t you mad at me?” “I already told you.” I beamed at her long, distressed, confused face. “The ponies that matter, the ones who really care about you, aren’t going to be upset. They’ll understand, Sweetie. I do. Rarity will.” “Are you sure?” Twiddling her forehooves, she glanced at the door once more. “H-how do you know?” The knocks that abruptly assaulted my door made the young pony cry out and jump with such speed she ended up falling over the back of the couch. It really startled me, and I hurried to look over the backrest to see Sweetie had fallen on her head, her lower back pressed against the couch and her hind legs sprawled over her shoulders. “O-oh, my. Are you okay?” Glancing at the door, I called, “Please, come in!” Just as Mrs. Robinson promised, Rarity came strolling through the door, looking as lovely and chipper as ever. “Good afternoon, Fluttershy. Whatever was that noise I just— Sweetie? What on earth are you doing down there?” “I don’t wanna be your heir!” Still in her awkward position, Sweetie’s eyes boggled. She promptly curled into a ball against the couch, covering her eyes with her forehooves and tail. “Th-that’s not what I meant to say!” Rarity’s already round eyes remained on her sister for a few seconds, mouth opened in a nonplussed gape. But then, as Sweetie whimpered and shook, those eyes grew soft. She looked upon me with a warm smile and mouthed a silent “Thank you,” to which I only nodded. Knowing my part was done, I took my tea set and went into the kitchen to make more. I suspected they’d both need some soon. I know it looked like Rarity came in at an unfortunate time. I hadn’t really calmed Sweetie down, and she was still trying to sort things out. But honestly, I think that was the best time. It was spontaneous, which I think really helped. I remember being so relieved, because now there was little chance Sweetie would guess that her sister had wanted me to intervene. Rarity had known there was a problem, but not what the problem was. And if there’s anything both of us know, it’s that siblings aren’t always willing to confide in one another. Rarity needed a proxy, and I was happy to help. She hadn’t known the day I was going to try, and her visit wasn’t part of the plan. Sometimes things simply turn out right. When I returned, Sweetie grew silent, and Rarity made an effort to continue the conversation. They were both on the couch, Rarity keeping her visibly anxious little sister close. It looked as though she’d cast her cleaning spell, because Sweetie’s mascara was gone entirely, leaving her face nice and pretty again. I set the teacups down on the table, exchanged warm smiles with Rarity, and went outside to tend to my animal friends. What? No, of course I didn’t stay and listen. This was a private moment. Oh, I would never eavesdrop like that! What kind of friend would that make me? Shame on you for even considering it. And I made no attempt to find out what happened either. The two talked, they had some tea, and then they left. I was a little busy helping Harry deal with some stress just then, so I didn’t get the chance to do more than say goodbye. But I can see you’re curious, so I suppose I should add one more little thing. A month later, Sweetie came for her usual voice lessons. It went about as smoothly as can be expected considering Sweetie’s talents. Did I mention how very good she is? Anyway, the lesson ended, and I was just saying goodbye when she surprised me with a hug. “I’m leaving for Manehattan on Tuesday,” she told me as she parted, all smiles. “Rarity pulled some strings and got me an audition. Jut an audition; I have to make the cut on my own.” “Oh, that’s wonderful!” And it really was! I was so proud of her for finally taking that hop, skip, and jump. She nodded, cheeks a little pink. “I wanted to thank you for all your help in case I get the role and can’t come home for a while. And… also for the talk you gave me. Y’know, about not letting others define me. It’s something I really needed to hear.” I really can’t tell you how happy that made me. “It was my pleasure. I know you’ll shine across Equestria, with or without a link to the Elements.” “I… I think so, too.” For the first time in ages, she gave me the pure, joyous smile she’s always been known for. “And even if I don’t make it big, I know I can be happy doing what I want to do.”