A Story of Love (Among Others)

by TheMareWhoSaysNi

First published

Rainbow Dash, a future rockstar, has met a boy! She didn't look for it, but love knocked on her door (literally). The beginning of a lovely story? Or rather, of a nightmare?

It's been a year now that Rainbow Dash studies at the Canterlot Academy of Music. She lives in a small youth hostel, where one day, a quite improbable mishap makes her meet another resident, Soarin, who she quickly gets infatuated with. Everything would be for the best if her new (and first) boyfriend hadn't been the new superstar of Equestrian adventures flicks for teenagers. No less.

Oh, it sure sounds like a fairy tale... But it rather looks like a romantic comedy turned evil.

Behind Locked Doors

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I haven't met him so often before that very day. It had to be said that I didn't spend much time in my room. Why, the reason was simple. Most of my days were busy with College and playing music. One can't expect to become the number one Equestrian Rock Star without a minimum of practice, after all. When I did't do any of those things, I was out in the city with my best pal, Pinkie Pie, and trust me, that's enough sports for one person. So, if I have met him before that day, it was very quickly, between two doors.

But on that day, I'm not sure what happened exactly. All I know is that Pinkie and I were back from a stroll in downtown Canterlot where I've bought my fair share of old classics DVDs, a new pair of boots and candies. Well, the candies were mostly purchased by Pinkie, actually. That was, and is still today, a mystery how this girl hasn't turned obese yet with all the treats she eats weekly. I guess she's fortunate enough to have an excellent body condition and the neverending energy she produces all day long might be burning a good loads of the carbohydrates gulped down.

Anyhow, don't be fooled by her pink hair like a ball of cotton candy, or big blue eyes and her wide smile. She's as close of an angel as I am of a fairy tale princess. Pinkie Pie is LOUD. She's eccentric, she's weird and she got the most irritating high-pitched voice I've ever heard. She's the best.

Problem: with her, your maximum level of assured discretion is zero. Nada. Nothing. Ground-level. What is funny most of the time - although sometimes embarrassing - turned out to be very problematic when, as I saw him getting out of his room, I looked at him at the same time that he looked at me. Nothing extraordinary, you must be thinking, and it indeed be nothing much of a big deal if he hadn't smiled at me. It wasn't a friendly smile, the kind of smile you give to your neighbors almost casually, because it's well-mannered and that's all. No. The kind of smile a guy gives to a girl he thinks he's pretty. And that's revolutionary in itself because guys, they usually don't think I'm pretty. They think I'm a butch (see me facepalming).

The worst... I don't know what I was thinking, but like the fool I still am, I smiled back at him, in an attempt to be well-mannered and neutral but since I was blushing so hard I looked like a blooming poppy, I guess he thought I was moved by his reaction. Which I was, but that, no one needed to know. I had a reputation to keep, you see. Rainbow Dash never blushes. Rainbow Dash is tough, cool and awesome, not a fragile little flower. It has to be said.

Well. New problem: I wasn't alone in that corridor. Pinkie Pie, if you had forgotten, was still beside me. And the b*tch soaked everything in like a sponge. Remember what I said about her level of discretion?

Ladies and gentleman, meet Pinkamena Diane Pie!

"Ohhh, is that your neighbor?"

"Yes, Pinkie", I replied sheepishly.

"Well, he's hot but you don't blush like you're a glossy cherry lollipop usually!"

And then, she started an imitation of the way I smiled that made me blush even more, because if that was really the expression on my face at that exact moment, I swear I might have looked like the sappiest sap dummy Canterlot has ever known. And this is totally NOT awesome.

Laughing out loud, she snatched my keys off my hands and take an advantage of me being still stunned from shame to open the door of my room and getting in without even asking for my permission - or waiting for me. Needless to say, I hated myself right then, and I hated Pinkie Pie even more. My heart was pounding in my chest so loud I feared everybody at the hostel would hear it and I could feel my knees were weak, though I can't remember whether it was from rage or from embarrassment. Maybe both.

I sighed, determined to forget everything about this unfortunate mishap, ready to join Pinkie Pie inside the room, which door has been left ajar, and to make her regret her little comment. With tickles. But something held me back. Like a presence, still lurking in the corridors. I turned around.

He was here. Waiting for the elevator to arrive.

And when he turned around as well, and looked at me again, he smiled at me. In the exact same way that he has smiled a little earlier. Gosh, I swear I felt my blood rushing to my already pounding heart. And I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit.

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My true meeting with him happened something like one month after that strange encounter. It was on a Friday night. It was on the Friday night when I'd been better off spraining my ankle. Or something like that. And yet, we'd been happy, for as long as it has lasted. But we're not here yet.

So, Friday night, one month later.

I was at my desk, doing my homeworks. I've always hated doing my homeworks, but if we didn't do that, we were forbidden to perform during the school's festivals and it was out of question for me. My plan to get rid of them as fast as possible was to do them on Friday night so I could have all the fun I wanted on weekends. Well, sometimes, in fact very often, I forgot about that plan and ended up doing them at the very last moment on Sunday evening, but whatever... On that precise Friday, I was doing things according to my plans.

To make sure the chore would be more pleasant, I liked to do homeworks while listening to music. There was a band I was very fond of, back then, called Lumiere. They were playing punchy rock songs, with mysterious lyrics and I really enjoyed the leader's vocals, Fire Streak, who also happened to be quite a hottie. But that information, I kept to myself. Thus focused, I turn out to be as deaf as a post, so much that a bomb could be dropped off the streets, I probably would be shaken only once the deflegration has make explode the walls around me. And yet.

So, that's naturally that I didn't hear the knocks on my door until there was a break between two songs. Did I stop and tried to see who it was? Nope! I kept on focusing in my literature essay, tapping the floor with my left foot at the same time. And maybe the story would have stopped there if I didn't reflect a little, and said to myself that maybe it was important. Sometimes, the manager of the youth hostel I lived in came to check out whether our rooms were clean, or to fix a socket, or something like that.

What if it was him and I didn't open the door, and then he'd warn my father and I would get scolded over the phone? Hell no, I didn't want that.

I stopped my music and waited. I also could have mistaken, thought it was intended for me when it, actually, was for the room next door. The walls were very thin, after all. But then, bang bang, someone really was knocking on my door.

As I got off my chair and went towards the door, though, I hesitated. And the reason why was plain stupid, but hey, I was only nineteen, okay, living alone for the first time of my life, and I was sometimes very stupid, indeed. Not that I'm much smarter now, but, oh well.

On the previous night, I had a nightmare. There was that ugly scary girl from the movie "The Exorcist" that suddenly appeared in front of me, with her scarred and green face. She opened her mouth and produced the sound of someone knocking on my door, very loud, three times. Just like the ones I could hear right then. Except those ones weren't loud but I couldn't help it. My mind associated it with the nightmare. And one thing I was damn afraid of was that girl from that movie.

But, as the knocks persisted, I had to come back to Earth. These kind of things never happen in real life, whatever might be said on the cover of a DVD. This was obviously not Linda Blair behind that door. But, just in case, right before I opened it, I grabbed a small bottle of deodorant, so I could spray it in her eyes if it were her.

It wasn't her, needless to say.

My first reflex as I saw the smiling neighbor on my doorstep was to hide the spray behind my back. The smile I gave him was the one I give in circumstances where I'm really embarrassed, though for no good reason, and I don't want others to see it. I don't know, however, whether or not that smile works for real.

"What is it for?" I asked him, toying with the deodorant behind my back.

"Hi. I'm sorry... I'm probably a bother..."

He seemed so hesitant, so different from the self-confident boy that I have seen one month ealier that it caught me off guard. A little less stressed, I replied that he didn't bother me at all, not mentioning that I was in fact in the middle of something important. The look on his face was so... desperate and embarrassed that I told myself I might sound too rude if I highlighted this detail.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Well..." he trailed off, before trying to regain a composure. "It's stupid, really. I wanted to cook dinner in the collective kitchen, and I slammed my door behind me, but I've forgotten to get my key. It was too late when I realized it..."

"Oh", was my answer.

Let's bring a little precision. The first thing the manager of our youth hostel told residents as they moved on was that the doors of the rooms had a special system to prevent thieves. Once out, if you close your door, it's automatically locked, so the number one rule is always to have your keys with you, even if that's just to make a little pee or get some fresh air on the terrace.

"I was thinking", he went on after a few seconds of embarrassed silence. "Maybe you could show me that flash card wrapped in plastic with the rules and the number of the manager on it. Obviously, mine's in my room. I'm really sorry to bother you but you're the only person I know a little here."

Poor guy, I thought, as my eyes drifted off and landed on his feet. He was dressed in a sort of tracksuit that somehow looked like pajamas, hair in a mess, with only his socks on, lost in that corridor full of strangers. Must be a real hardship for him. Yeah, just think about it. I was the only person he knew a bit. The only one. And our only encounter worthy of the name had been a quick exchange of smiles not so long ago. What a tragedy!

Okay, maybe I was overreacting a little, but that wouldn't be the first time.

I have taken pity on him and decided to yield to his requirement. But at the same time... Well, there was quite a dilema in front of me. I didn't know him that well, nothing told me he was worthy of trust, just because he was rather handsome and looked truly embarrassed. Maybe it was a trick. Maybe once inside my room, he would grab whatever item and knock me over with it to rape me savagely while I'd be unconscious. And even if not, maybe he would tell himself that I'm an easy girl, who's used to have guys she barely knows in her room, late at night. Hey, that kind of things can happen after all.

Honestly, if in the end, I finally accepted to open my door for him it was only because he has looked at me with such puppy eyes that the girl buried inside me couldn't help but give in. Though, in fact, I'm strongly convinced that there is no one on Earth able to resist puppy eyes like that. Especially when it comes from such a tall guy with deep pools of emerald.

"Did you try to find him in his lodge?"

"I did, but it's too late. He went home for the weekend."

"Alright, then."

And I stepped aside to let him in, though, after reflection, I could as well have looked for the flash card and give it to him on my doorstep.

"Thanks. I'll get even with you for that, I promise."

"Uh uh", was my reply.

Rooms in the hostel were all the same, only a block about ten meters square, with a single bed right above a wall fan, on one side of the room, and on the other side of the room a small desk, a chest of drawers which also could be used as a dining table, with lots of shelves above it, and a small closet near the entrance. Collective showers and a laundry room could be found right beside a kitchen, collective as well, which gave way to a terrace with a balcony.

Thus my room wasn't any different. But, of course, every resident was in the right to decorate their place the way they liked, or to get whatever items they needed to live and study. Truth is, I hate cleaning up as much as I hated homeworks. And suddenly, I had to swallow hard because someone was in my intimacy and saw how dirty a pig I could be.

On my desk, laid a stack of papers of all kind, and on the chest of drawers where I've put both my small flat screen television and old DVD player, there piled up DVDs which I couldn't put inside my already full drawers, glasses, guitar chords and about anything else I ever laid my hands on. Needless to say that I had not the slightest idea of where I had put that damn flash card.

I had to find a diversion and quick, because, believe it or not, suddenly I was very much ashamed that such a clean and pretty boy would be examining the mess that was my room. Putting back the deodorant spray as discreetly as possible, I grabbed my phone, which was on my messy bed, and gave it to him.

"Here... You might need that to call the manager. Go ahead, I'm going to make us some coffee at the kitchen so you can be alone."

Which meant: find that flash card on your own if you want it so bad! And, not forgetting to get my own key, I vanished away as fast as I could, almost running towards the kitchen.

As I was getting coffee ready in the collective kitchen, where another girl was finishing washing dishes, I couldn't help but imagine him in my room, looking through my stack of papers in the hope he would find the sacred flash card that would deliver him from hell. I pictured him perfectly staring at my "Double Indemnity" and "Cat People" posters, wondering what these can be, noticing that I forgot to turn my iPod off when I opened the door, thinking what a weird person this rainbow-haired girl could be, and by the way, was that color natural? That kind of stuff...

Coffee was ready by the moment he joined me in the kitchen, with an annoyed expression on his face. Either he hasn't found the flash card among my mess, either what the manager told him wasn't good news. I wasn't sure which of the solution I prefered.

He sat at the large Bakelite table and while I was pouring coffee in two cups, silent reigns as our master, which, obviously, made me even more uncomfortable than I already was. Though God only knew why I was in such a state. That was nothing special, after all. Maybe it was because I could feel he was staring at me and it was a lot of pressure for someone like me, who never really been alone with a guy before.

"My name's Soarin, by the way", he finally said when I sat across the table too.

"Rainbow Dash..." I hesitated, then asked. "So? What did the manager say?"

He shrugged, suddenly moody.

"He's celebrating his daughter's birthday and won't be back until tommorrow at ten."

Oh, holy cow! This could only mean one thing. He was locked up outside. All night long. And he had no money to go to an hotel or anything. He didn't even have shoes on. And this could only mean one thing. I was his last hope.

Talking about being alone with a boy, uh...

Hangover Square

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My head felt like cotton. I tossed many times before I could open my eyes. What happened last night? My body hurt, it was as if I had slept on a mat made of needles and everything seemed to be spinning around. I didn't dare waking up. It was Saturday, I could allow myself to sleep a bit more... Wait. Something was wrong. Almost despite myself, I slowly opened my eyes. Our room had no windows, only a narrow loophole which gave way to the artificial light of the corridors. Yet, in the subtle darkness of the advanced twilight, I could sense I've fallen asleep with my clothes on. My television was still on, sound at the very minimum and pictures were flashing up on it for no one in particular. I sat up straight with a smirk, grabbed my remote control and pressed the "off" button before gently falling back against the mattress.

Suddenly, a vision caught my attention. A human being, sleeping on my floor, in a sleeping bag. Blue hair and flat shoulders. Everything slapped me back in the face. Soarin, his lock issue, our night spent laughing together, drinking and eating... I insisted for him to sleep on my bed, but he was able to convince me not to by fooling around... What a dummy was I!

Once again, I sat back, but hurriedly. It felt like I was on top of a merry-go-round, it was almost as if an ear-splitting bell was echoing through my mind. I shouldn't have drunk so many beers.

I ran my hand through my hair. At the back of my head, I could feel a my fingers bumping into knots the size of a tennis ball. There was no need for me to check myself in the mirror to know my complexion probably was as corpse-like as someone who hasn't eaten enough, but has drunk too much and spent the night in a dreary dive. I pressed my hand against my mouth and exhaled... Very bad idea.

My eyes drifted from my scruffy appearance to Soarin's body on my floor. He was peacefully sleeping, his breath regular. He looked like a serene child in the middle of some pleasant dreams. His features were so even it made me want to film it in a glamourous black and white close-up. At any moment he could wake up and note the damages done by the night.

In front of my friends and family, it never mattered to me whether they saw or not what I look like in the morning. But Soarin... I wanted to impress him, even a little. I could feel something going on between us, something indiscribable floating in the air whenever I was in front of him, or him in front of me. Maybe I was only fantasizing. Or maybe not. All I knew then was that if he saw me in such a pitiful state, things could change and not for the best.

Promiscuity between us stopped me from behaving the way I wanted. The least restless noise could get him out of his peaceful sleep. So I acted exactly as if I were Sandra Bullock in "Gravity". Inside my closet, I unearthed the trendiest clothes in my possession. In Canterlot, conversely to Cloudsdale where I was born, girls were really into their appearance. They liked to dress well and to have nice haircuts and clean shoes. And I guessed boys liked that too about a girl.

One last glance at the sleeping bag on my floor. Soarin was moving. He turned around, tossed the blanket over his face, as if trying to shield it from an attack. His face disappeared inside the bag. He probably would open his eyes any minute now. I grabbed my key, took a towel and my shower stuff as fast as I could, and got out of the room.

My key fell at my feet and I cursed while picking it up. It made an old lady laugh, as she passed me by with her basket full of food. I've often wondered what the life of these ageless ladies who lived here all year long looked like. Didn't they have a family to accomodate them? I remember I asked myself this question as I went to the common bathroom where, lucky me, the both cubicles were free.

This block of the hostel had about fifteen residents living on my floor, and there were only two shower cubicles. In each of them, there also was a toilet. They both closed thanks to a sliding door that was to be locked with a hook, except said hooks were rusty and wobbly. An accident never occured, since generally when you saw the doors were closed, it meant someone was using either the toilets or the showers, but I was distrustful. I hated the idea that someone uninformed could open this door and surprise me in my birthday suit.

On the closed basin, I put down my clothes, hung my towel on the pegs near the door then positioned my toiletries on the tiny sink at the angle. This was my morning ritual, an important ritual, key to my full waking up, as much as drinking coffee could be. But I had no time for a cup of coffee.

However, today wasn't an ordinary day. I didn't want to fool Soarin. I wanted that, if there was a chance he liked me, that would be for the good reasons. It would be for who I really was, with my flaws, my qualities, my origins and my influences. If he had some time, I could ask him to go downtown Canterlot with me, though I was supposed to finish my homework and write for my job. A small break never killed anyone, after all.

A towel wrapped around my chest and another around my hair, I actively massaged it to make them dry faster. There were no mirror in the cubicles so I wasn't able to see what I looked like exactly. All I could do was hoping this little scrubbing by the book has upgraded my appearance. I wore a black denim pleated skirt, a light black sweater with a long woolen jacket of the same color and a scarf around my neck. That was simple, trendy but not fashion-victim style. If I got his personality right, he might liked it. I really wanted him to look at me with that expression that said "pretty". It was a mechanic I could fully comprehed only once it was launched: I wanted him to want to know me better, that this lucky encounter hasn't been nothing but a pleasant digression in our well-oiled life.

I fixed my hair the best I could. A purple-haired boy was getting laundry inside our only washing-machine. He smiled at me and I saw nice orange eyes. His kindness proved that my appearance was good, even though I had no makeup on. I brushed my teeth above the other small sink and the young boy patted my shoulder. He wanted me to explain him the way the machine worked. Perfect timing, dude!

A few minutes later, I was burying my key inside the lock of my room and pushed it. I didn't know what to expect. Maybe Soarin would still be sleeping, maybe he would be already up. All I knew then was that I wanted to ask him what he wanted to do this afternoon, so we could extend the encounter and convert the try.

The light was on. Soarin was sitting on my bed, his legs folded under his bottocks. He was leafing through an issue of the magazine for which I was working then, his pants crumpled, his blue hair a bit tangled. He smiled at me, with that smile that always caught me off-guard. Even like that, he was handsome. And it dawned on me... I really liked him. In so short a time, something has woken up inside of me by being near him. It was pleasant and scary at the same time.

I put my things back into place, asked him whether he had a good night and if he wanted to have some breakfast. Behind my back, I could hear him letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I've called the manager and he's arrived. He's waiting for me. I wanted you to be back from your shower before I told you.

It was as if a huge rock from Pinkie's childhood farm crushed against my body. With a very few words, he's murdered my slow and precise work. No matter what happened between us last night, no matter the thread tangled from him to me. He never came here to get to know me better. He came here because he was in trouble and I was the only one who was able to help him. How could I forget the most important detail of it all?

My back on him, I made sure my voice wouldn't betray how disappointed I felt, as I acted as if I was tidying one of my drawers.

"That's nice of you."

Behind me, I could hear sound of clothes against my sheets, slats of my bed crackling. I closed my drawer, my heart like lead, but I gave him a reassured and comforting smile when I turned around to face him again. He politely waved at me and I felt so awkward. Last night, we were like two old friends. This morning, very reserved, he treated me as if I were his elder in school.

"Thanks a lot for helping me. I don't even know what I would have done without you. It was very sweet of you."

I just couldn't believe everything would end like that. I knew if I wanted to hold him back, it was all up to me because, after all, he couldn't read my mind if I did my best not to let anything show. I should do it but something prevented me from doing it. Words were bumping into my mind but they never crossed the barrier of my lips. I stood there in front of him, a smile on my face though I wanted to frown. I don't know why it seemed like I was expecting everything to come from him. Maybe because I didn't want to take the risk to hear him say no.

He put one hand on the knob, opened the door. In a few seconds, he would be away and who could tell when I would get the chance to be so close to him again? I cursed myself for not being able to do anything, thus letting him slip though my fingers. One last time, he turned around and smiled at me, his cheeks chubbier and getting a subtle shade of pink.

"Thanks again. You're good people. I'll never forget what you've done for me."

Soarin closed the door behind him in silence. I couldn't even hear his steps in the corridor. He was gone and I haven't said a word, not even to make him understand how much I enjoyed spending a night in his company. My legs were like moss, my arms like bits of scrap iron. Gently, I dragged my feet toward my bed and fell against the mattress. A strand of blue hair has fallen against my pillow, as the ultimate memory of the boy I let go.

The Smallest Show on Earth

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Being defeated never brought anything good to anyone. Especially me, who doesn't like losing at all. Naturally, I wasn't going to spend my whole weekend wallowing on my inability for boys and girls relationship. Surely, it was something I needed to work on...

So, in order not to be crushed by resentment towards myself, I went back to work. Because of this and because I had to. I was getting late and delays wait for no one. Respecting deadlines has always been a hardship for me. Especially when it comes to homework. I know, we spoke about it already.

When I settled in front of my desk, that day seemed to be the type of day where everything goes wrong but in the end, frustration pushed me into brand new corners and words flooded on the paper like a river deprived of its damming. Thus, I can confirm a rumor: once tormented (or at least a little miserable), producing something gets easier. I could picture myself finshing my homeworks and my job in the beginning of the afternoon.

I wanted to listen to music as I always do but I forgot to load the battery and also, I had a feeling. A taste of bittersweet déjà vu made me understand silence could be my best friend. I'd like the reason of all this would have been complete concentration but the truth is uglier. I couldn't help waiting for a sign, anything, from the nearby rooms. I knew Soarin was there, close, and I wondered what was on his mind. Just to think about it, a tension increased in each parts of my body and words were even faster to appear on the paper.

Right then, I sincerely thought all that could bother me would be a pinkish tornado with Pie in the name. Once Pinkie was done with her homeworks, Pinkie didn't care whether I still had work to do. Naturally, she thought I was as free as she was to do whatever she wanted to do. It was always the same. She called me, told me she was downstairs waiting and never let me freedom to choose whether or not I wanted to go with her. She went all the way from Sugarcube Corner to my place, so she couldn't return empty-handed.

So, of course, when a few knocks echoed through my door, getting me off my digressing thoughts, I couldn't say I wasn't expecting it just a little tinsy bit. Sometimes, she met a resident, who opened the main door for her so she didn't need me to come and tap the code to get in. However, I was a bit puzzled by what time it was. Quite too early for Miss Pie to be done with her homeworks, already up and dressed, ready to fight against Canterlot's subway to go downtown.

Did it ever happened to you? You know, you're get worked up for hours by something, and when it would be the perfect timing for you to think about it again, it's totally out of your mind? Well, that was going to happen to me, right now.

Freed of my fear of last night - no Linda Blair behind my door - I opened it. Actually, I also expected it to be our manager and hoped I haven't forgotten to hide the corpses of beer bottles from the previous day. I cleared my throat, just in case I'd need to justify myself, fixed my hair and my clothes, just in case as well. It's always best to explain yourself with a good appearance when you have broken some rules. Makes you look trustworthy.

My heart skipped a beat. No, it wasn't Pinkie, why then my heart would do that, idiot?

Soarin looked up. I could swear he was also fixing his clothes and hair the second before. Clad in tight jeans highlighting the muscles of this thighs and a sweat which color makes his pinkish complexion radiant, he was really handsome. Exactly my type. Although I never really had a type before.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," he answered, shy-like.

Alright, I admit it, we looked like dumb and dumbier at this exact moment and it had nothing cool whatsoever.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm great. And you?"

"Great too."

I tried a question a little more relevant.

"What's wrong?"

Maybe there wasn't anything wrong but I wanted to remain logical. When you think too much, your emotions guide yourself and you end up disppointed. I didn't want to be disappointed. I thought then that I had my fair share of disappointments in nineteen years of existence.

He nervously pranced about, fingering the rim of his sweater. Our silence is irritating. Last night, when he laughed, he brushed my shoulders, we talked like old acquaintances finally back together... This morning, there were a distance between them. As if each of us realized limits has been pushed too far and we should get back to our places, because if not, something terrible would happen. Honestly, I have to admit I felt hurt by the distance.

He frowned briefly but quickly recovered. His body got straight, his attitude prouder. A smile craked open on his face. All my anger crumbled inside of me. I was the silliest of sappy girls and it was so wrong it was right.

"Actually... I wanted to thank you for saving me last night. Not only did you get me in but you also allowed me to sleep at your place and I'm upset I left the way I did earlier. You're probably busy but... I'd like to invite you for lunch. As a sign of my consideration."

Maybe it was nothing but my overflowing imagination of country girl but I swore he looked like he learned this speech by heart and played it in front of me like a script.

Oh yeah, I get it, simple neighbor decorum.... And to say I thought that, maybe, I haven't been so stupid to get all dressed up this morning! For a very brief while, I was tempted to give him a taste of his own medicine, so he would see what it felt like to feel frustrated about something you never been frustrated about before... But I didn't find the strength. He looked so sincerely sorry! I couldn't look at him without getting weak and though my usual self would have probably slammed the door on his nose for that, since I wasn't quite feeling like myself, I only shrugged.

"I see,", I said trying to sound detached. "Let's do that, then. But that's only because you're the one asking for it."

Suddenly, I saw his face relaxing and a sigh escaped his lips when he saw me grab my bag and boots.

"Why this sigh? Already tired of me?" I added, falsely surprised.

"Actually, I don't know why but... I was scared you'd say no. I know that's silly, but... I left quite abruptly tonight and you could have been upset. And I wouldn't have liked that much, you see..."

"Yeah, gotta be in good terms with your neighbors. Sounds legit."

I could see in his eyes how he thought I misunderstood his attentions. To be honest, it was fun to puzzle him like this. At least, I wouldn't be the only one who had felt stupid on this very morning!

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Canterlot's restlessness is something I've learned to appreciate. In Cloudsdale, streets aren't that crowded. In Cloudsdale, you have to drive for a few minutes before getting downtown and downtown isn't so many streets and areas parted into more areas. Everyone call you by your name. You know who are your neighbors and you take some time to chat with your acquaintances. There's no subway, only buses.

But I quickly felt I could fit in. I have always been someone fast, someone who liked independence and speed. I also always liked competition and the adrenalin of competition. This is why Canterlot has become a place where I could finally feel free to be my real self.

The crowd was walking around us, towards destinations them only knew, with faces of those with too many things on their minds to stop.

We were walking side by side on the same sidewalk, almost shoulder to shoulder, but I did my best not to brush him, even by accident. It was an intense concentration and I had to pay much attention to my surroundings and where I was putting my feet. I'd like to start a conversation but I couldn't get to say one word out. All I had in mind felt so silly or sappy. So, I said nothing at all. Maybe he was thinking I was rather temperamental. Maybe he was thinking I was blowing hot and cold. It would feel so nice if everything was like last night. But I was scared of what I might discover about myself.

"Would you like to eat something special?"

Soarin's voice got me out of my thoughts. It made me lose my focus and when a young girl passed me by, she softly bumped into me. I almost fell flat and had to grab his arm in order to avoid this. It felt as if I was burying my palms into burning flames. And yet, I already had that kind of touch with him. It was not a big deal, nothing to get crazy about. So why did I feel so strange?

His eyes looked sincerely filled with worry. It got me so mad. I hate girls who use coquettish and shy attitudes to please boys, so I hate when it seemed like I was behaving this way too. I wanted to be myself, just like last night. The only way to be back on my feet would be to get to a place where I'd feel like myself. And since he asked something about food, the solution to my problem was right within my reach.

"There's a great restaurant around it. I often go there with Pinkie Pie. Follow me."

For the first time since he appeared on my doorstep, I felt I behaved naturally with him. Even in the train, I haven't sad a word and barely thanked him when he gave me the last free seat and had to stay standing. I was ashamed to be treating him that way when he was so nice...

As we were walking towards the restaurant, I tried to establish some conversation.

"So... Looks like the manager have been quick this morning."

He looked at me, almost surprised to see I was daring talking to him first.

"Why, yeah, took not even two minutes. I wanted to come back and see you right after, once showered and dressed but I haven't dared."

"Look at that!" I said, innocent-like. "Why? You know I don't bite, don't you?"

He softly chuckled.

"Yeah, I know but I am kind of shy sometimes..."

Oh, so, I intimidated him... Cool.

I guided him with confidence to my favorite restaurant of the area, where we liked to eat a delicious barbecue and the best vegetal sausages of the town - according to me. It was easy to sense that he liked my new pace much more. Actually, it was the pace I usually walked with when alone in the streets, with quick and wide steps. I even wondered whether he practiced a sport or not. From what I have seen, he seemed to be the type of boy who liked execices and I wouldn't be surprised to hear he regularly went to the gym. That was another thing in common. I've always liked being active.

The restaurant I brought him to didn't look much. It wasn't one of those nice buildings like they show in TV shows. It was a small place at the corner of a street, where it wasn't possible to be more than fifteen. I can't remember how, the girls and I, came to go there on a regular basis. That's probably because we were too lazy to look for another one. But it has become some sort of headquarter for us. We were completely able to have our lunch there and to spend our entire day around a table in order to dine there as well.

When I passed the little polished glass door and the bell rang, the old lady managing the place immediately stepped to me with a gentle grin. She paused for a second, however, when she saw Soarin behind me. Usually, I always came here with the girls, and only with the girls. It was the very first time that I not only came without them, but with a boy instead. I was glad she had the discretion not to ask whether he was my boyfriend. She was surprised but didn't let it overtake the rest. While I was taking off my scarf and unbuttoning my coat, she showed us our favorite table and told us we could settle there.

Here, there were three rows of table for four persons, with plastic chairs. On the entrance door was pinned a yellowed poster for an alcohol brand, autograophed by the actress on the picture. Nothing on the walls except a menu with the prices. A crust of bread. There was a counter behind which the old lady was busy making beverages. She has settled a camp table where was put an old television so she could watch shows. Apart of us, there were only two other costumers, old men eating hot noodles.

Soarin was staring at me with an enigmatic smile that embarrassed me a little. I knew he was dying to say something and I wondered why he wouldn't spill the bean. My nervousness galloped back... I took cutleries in the small plastic box on the side and gave them away. That would be nice if he could be the first to talk. To say what was on his mind. I wouldn't bear that game for too long, if not.

"It seems like... "

We were cut off my the old lady at our table. In addition to the usual pitcher of fresh water, she brought us two beers. Soarin raised a surprised eyebrow and I couldn't help laughing as I glimpsed at his face, hidden behind my glass. She winked at my companion before going back behind her counter, and I frankly burst out laughing. Her behavior has embarrassed Soarin... The boot is on the other foot now!

"What did you want to say?"

"What", he answered, blinking. "Oh yeah. It seems like you're in clover here. Am I wrong?"

"You're not. We always come here with the girls when we're around. Even when we're not, in fact... Looks like Mrs. Sugarcoat has a crush on you..."

"Hey!!!!"

I giggled harder, this time almost lying on my table. The change looked flimsy but it set me free. That would be a shame to ruin what could be a nice friendship with my hesitations and stupid fears. The fact to be face to face without being embarrassed felt so good I couldn't stop laughing.

Soarin looked up at the menue and examined it. I turned around, waved Mrs. Sugarcoat a sign meaning "the usual". There was one dish that I eat almost everytime I came there. I didn't know what Soarin liked but I was sure once he had a taste of the specialty of the house, even if he didn't like it before, he would change his mind.

My giggles over, I poured us beer. My fingers were freezing... Maybe I should have taken my gloves.

"You know the place... What shall I take?"

"I took the liberty of ordering for the both of us, actually... Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not. It settles the matter."

He put his elbows on the table and smiled at me. He was so adorable... Of course, that wasn't the first time I noticed that. In fact, I knew it since the very beginning. I liked the way he styled his hair, the way he dressed.

Even so. What was I expecting? I didn't even know. And I didn't think I had any right to expect anything. We got along, that was an undeniable fact. All the same, I wasn't going to get carried away again. It would already be extraordinary to be his friend. Not only was he really cute but he was also very nice and funny.

Soon, Mrs. Sugarcoat arrived with our dishes. She put a bowl of boiling vegetal sausages soup in front of us. The delicious smell tickled my nostrils. A steam escaped the dishes. I was drooling over it.

Soarin grabbed a spoon while the old lady this time put side dishes on: spicy cabbage, fried garlic and steeped radishes. Only once she was back at her position behind the counter that was yet right beside us, he talked again, as he blew over his soup.

"I never thought girls could like vegetal sausages soup. My little sister hate that."

Sister? It was the first time he told me about his family. I must admit I was curious to know what was her age, what she was doing in life but I held myself back. I knew he too has always lived in Cloudsdale before going there to study and that, conversely to me, he still had his two parents. And that was all. He hasn't told me more but it was rather fair. I haven't told him much, neither. Questions about the family could be embarrassing when they come from persons you barely know and I didn't want him to think I was a nosey parker. It was best to let him confess it to me little by little. Though it didn't mean I couldn't talk, actually.

"I have only step-siblings. One of my sister is very picky and doesn't even like marshmallows. Do you realize? I mean, everybody likes marshmallows. Reminds me of those French pastries in the windows of the Lux Hall food court... I know no one who wouldn't like to have a taste of them."

"But conversely to marshmallows, no one buys them. They're too expensive."

"If you want, we'll go there one day. We'll sit at the counter of a restaurant and see whether anyone buys one of the cakes. And if no one comes at all, I'll pay the bill."

'You got yourself a deal, kid!"

We shook hands across the table before bursting out laughing again. I was so glad to notice that everything has fallen back into place. I didn't know why I was so tensed a bit earlier, it felt as if I was trying to kill any chance I had to get a new acquaintance, who wouldn't be part of my school. Everything was simple between us. Uncomplicated, unquestionable. I let myself flow in the stream, in peace with myself.

We had a small talk in the most relaxed manners. As the minutes were going on, I felt closer and closer to him, even closer than last night. And this time, I could say it wasn't because of the beer since we barely have touched ours, too busy sipping on our soups.

For those who wouldn't know, vegetal sausages soup is a broth which main ingredient are soya sausages spiced with paprika, along with corn, cabbage leaves, carrots and other spices. True, it's not considered to be a female-driven dish but the girls and I don't care at all. We like it and especially the one made in here. Soarin seemed to like it as well.

I asked him and he assured me he never ate anything that tasty before, to which I replied I told him so and he should always trust me and I insisted on the word "always". It made him smile. That was the reaction I was looking for. He looked so... fresh. That made me want to smile too.

"I think you're awesome, you know. It's pleasant to be with someone who's not afraid to try bold things. Actually, there are a lot of things that I really like about you."

"Yeah, I know I'm awesome, thanks," I answered with a wink.

Though I truly meant it I couldn't help thinking... And so what now? What did he really want to say? In order to give myself a countenance, I stuffed my mouth with a large spoonful of spiced cabbage leaves. Too large, actually. I certainly was looking like a hamster filled with grains. I was going to die of suffocation. And of shame.

"Maybe you'll think that's pretty sudden. Well, that's pretty sudden, in fact... It's the first time I'm doing such a thing. Er... Do you need help?"

I shook my head no and was more or less able to swallow a part of my spoonful. Whatever he wanted to ask, I wasn't sure he would ask in the end. Why am I acting so dumb each time I thought things were easy now. I didn't know what unsettled me that way. The seriousness of his voice or maybe his eyes... Green and deep, they were staring at me with a new intensity that I couldn't decipher.

Soarin poured me a glass of water and waited patienly that I was done swallowing my cabbage leaves. I then grabbed the glass and drank it in one gulp.

"Do you... think you would... like to hang out with me sometimes? I mean... Not exactly as a friend..."

This time, I chocked for real. I've swallowed water awry and my throat scratched so much I started to cough noisily. I was turning out of breath. I didn't know then whether or not I understood his request and if that was the case, what kind of muddle I got myself in.

Well, before anything, I needed to make sure I understood. And that I wouldn't die.

In front of this new sharp strangeness attack, I guessed Soarin was puzzled. Mrs. Sugarcoat yelled at him so he would pour me another glass of water and he did so with quick movements. I snatched it off his hand and swallowed again the whole contain in one gulp. Water to calm down water... Weird too. Though, well, this time I wasn't chocking out of clumsiness. If he never asked that question to me...

He waited for me to calm down. After a few seconds, I was able to breah again. My cheeks were scalding hot. This time, I probably looked like a huge tomatoe with rainbow hair. I couldn't help thinking that if he has said what I thought he has said, he would never ask again. He was a boy, after all. And boys didn't like girlfriends with no manners whatsoever.

"Are you feeling better? You scared the hell out of me..."

I replied yes and no longer dared touching anything on the table, scared of being so uncharacteristically clumsy again. Or else, what would be my next move? Thrusting a knife into his eyeballs? He smiled at me again with that off-guard smile and I was surprised to pray he would ask his question again. Instead, he stretched his hand and wiped something stuck to my bottom lip.

But he didn't say another word. Like, at all.

Gosh, I hated him!

Decision at Sundown

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I wasn't unsatisfied I've been turned away from my homeworks. Saturday night would be all work and no fun but it was worth the try. I spent the whole afternoon with Soarin. It wasn't in our plans but after lunch, he wanted to walk a little for digestion. It wasn't the closest place but we went to what seemed to be the most logical one: Main Street Mall.

I often went there with Pinkie and sometimes even with Rarity. Our favorite store is, of course, the Vintage Store, where they sell everything old from early 20s to early 70s. We spent the longest time in the DVD department and I spoke a lot. I couldn't help it... I LOVE old movies. As soon as I start talking about it, I turn out into Pinkie Pie. With rainbow-colored hair and a hoarse voice. Excited like that.

One of the greatest thing about Soarin was that he never seemed annoyed of hearing me talk. He asked questions, listened carefully. For the first time since ages, I felt taken seriously. Since my mother died, actually. Only since I was in Canterlot, people around me gave credits to what I liked the most, and weren't rebuffed by my boasting attitude.

When he didn't notice, I was watching him casually and I hardly could help a smile. He was really handsome all the time but even more when he didn't notice. I probably looked like a dummy struck dumb with admiration, almost drooling but well, what's been done can't be undone. All I hoped was that he hadn't noticed. I would have been so ashamed otherwise.

Time has gone by peacefully and fast. He never frowned even when I said I was awesome, or the best at something and that made me feel more and more comfortable with him. This day comfirmed me in the idea I had earlier. I wanted to get to know him better. And not as a friend, that would be a falsehood.

We went back home together in the crowded train; so crowded I had to press myself against his chest. Soarin didn't even have anything to lean on. Except other people.

Also, I've spent a great amount of time waiting from a sign from him. Even as we walked towards our rooms, I was still waiting. Back at the restaurant, he asked me a question which I reacted too vivdly but he never asked again. Yet, I felt he was on the verge of doing it, sometimes. Behind a section for old comic books, I looked up. He was staring at a vintage "Power Ponies" issue but I was convinced that he has been looking at me the moment before. But nothing happened at all.

We stopped in front of my door. He gave me back my purchases that he snatched off my hand a little earlier, with his lovely smile which I got used to (a little).

"Thanks for today. When I offered you to take a stroll with me, I wasn't expecting this," he added with a nervous giggle. "But it was swell. Really swell."

"Yeah, everything's always swell with me."

One last smile and he turned around to get to his own door. No sign. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to force things up but I also didn't want it to end here and get back home frustrated. And as I was about to beat in retreat, something held me back. Behind me, Soarin seemed to hesitate actually going to his room. Yet, he had his key in his hands and he was facing the door.

He half turned around and came back to me. My head span, my eyes inquiring. Now it was too late to go back. He had to say it or say it, like earlier in the restaurant. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath...

"About what I asked you... You know, earlier, at the restaurant. Do you think you... could give me your answer now?"

My whole body was under alarm. I was feeling feverish but tried hard not to show. I didn't want him to realize this was all new for me. If he really was willing to be more than friends with me, I supposed it was because I exhibited qualities of someone sweating with self-confidence and not of a frailing flower, shaking in front of a question like a child in front of a so-called cursed closet.

"What... What was it, already?"

I saw him clenching his fists. He knew I remembered, I would have bet my "Gone With the Wind" special edition DVD on it.

"I adore you. I mean it. I want to know more about you. I'd like us to... date, something like that... See..."

Something was holding me back again. I said it before, I never dated anyone then. And I'm not the dating kind. I'm what they call a tomboy, always playing tough, claiming romance was overrated... This was new for me. In a sense, I was scared it would choke off my personality and I would start acting like a fool, since it already happened many times since we met.

"Can I have some time to think about it?" I finally asked.

"How long do you need? A few hours? A few days?"

"One week. Next Sunday."

The Effects of Gamma-Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds

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I thought about it all day long on Sunday. It went over and over in my head like a gif. I could see the pictures, clear, of his eyes on me, of how deep the emerald was, of the words he said soflty yet hesitatingly, of my strange reaction. Our day spent together, chatting as if we've always known each other. These stolen moments when I watched him as he couldn't see me and when I could feel his eyes staring at me when he thought I couldn't see. How close we were in that train. His face getting away and coming back. The new proposal, clearer. My heart pounding and how I still hated it. Everything exactly.

At night, I thought about it too. The day after as well. Pinkie and Rarity wondered where did I spend my weekend, why they haven't heard from me at all and I didn't tell them the truth. I lied, to my best friends. Told them I was sick in bed with a fever and slept all day long on Saturday.

A week went by. Taken in daily routine, I almost forgot about my weekend. Sending my work to the magazine, traditional classes, cello classes, guitar classes, singing classes (my option). Sweating at the gym. Falling asleep after eating a bowl of soup and greeneries. Going to downtown Canterlot with the girls, laughing out loud and being noticed by everyone around. That good old routine. Yet ever so disturbed by thoughts coming and going. A smile, a laughter. Green eyes.

The deadline drew closer and I couldn't stop it from showing its muzzle. It felt like I didn't have enough time to think about it. I knew Soarin wanted my answer but I still didn't know what I would say to him. I had to move on and decide but fear was winning over me. The more I tried to think, the less I knew.

I left my bed and turned my television off. In a second, the screen went from moving to black. I sighed deeply but I couldn't get that weight off my chest. A glance at my phone to see what time it was. All I had been able to do all morning long has been to put a load of laundry on.

It probably was almost over now. It wasn't any use of starting to do anything since I knew I would never be focused enough. My hands were damp though I kept on wiping them up.

I took a look at myself in the small mirror I hid in one of my drawers. My only relief was that stress didn't seem to be taking over my face. My makeup is always light, with a hint of BB Cream, a transparent gloss on my lips and sometimes mascara. Actually, I think makeup looks weird on my face. My skin is too thin, too pale and my eyelashes are too thick. The thing I love the most about myself are my hair and my abs.

To be sure that my general appearance was alright hasn't comforted me in the least. I knew I'd be fit to be seen in front of him but it hasn't helped me making up my mind. I hoped the moment would come the later possible and that my thoughts would stop getting rusty. Meanwhile... I had to get my laundry back.

Only when I opened my door, I met face to face with Soarin, his fist hanging. Seeing me, he lowered it slowly, trying a smile. I tried that too. But both our grin weren't much convincing... My mouth was dry, my tummy ached. He was all dressed in black. His hair was brushed back as always. He was even more handsome than I remembered, and it pissed me off because I was feeling even more confused.

We both were sheepish. Sheepish and clumsy. None of us knew what to do, we even forgot about good-manners and hadn't said hi. He scratched the back of his head... Since I was still stressed, I was prancing around, looking away.

"Did you... intend to go out?" he finally asked me.

"No, I was going to get my laundry back, actually."

"Oh, I see. Can I go with you?"

"Yep," I said with a shrug.

Don't panic, don't do stupid shit. Act as usually. I made sure I had my key, which I almost forgot, and we both crossed the corridor side by side, in silence. I wasn't sure about what to do or what to say, about whether I should give my answer point blank although I didn't have the slightest idea of what it would be. I wasn't sure neither whether I had to wait for him to ask me out again. His own silence didn't help much.

He wasn't saying a word, nothing at all. He was just walking with me to the bathroom. I opened up the washing-machine. Someone called him from the computer room, a girl with curly lavender hair which face I couldn't see. He apologized and joined her. I couldn't hear what they were talking about from where I was. But the opened door looked out on the small room so I could see what they were doing. Soarin was explaining things to her about the old computers. And she laughed. Here, computors were full of viruses and the internet connection was so bad it was impossible to surf. I didn't like the fact this girl was with Soarin.

And that was how I started thinking she was the reason why he hadn't spoken at all yet. I couldn't know what happened at the youth hostel when I was in school. Maybe he has met someone else in between, maybe he realized he liked feminine and reserved girls best, not boasting tomboys playing cello and guitar. And maybe he didn't know how to tell me he's changed his mind. It almost made me want to slap him when he'd be back.

As I was done getting back my laundry, I left the bathroom without further ado, a basin under my arm.

He owed me nothing, after all. We weren't even real friends. But I still had a knot inside my stomach. Although I wasn't sure whether I should say yes or no, I knew one thing. My heart wanted to say yes and was torturing me for being unable to say it out loud, because of my stupid pride.

To hang the laundry out, we had to go through the kitchen and pushed the French door looking out on the roof terrace. There were two large washing lines and it was lucky when both were free like they were then. I didn't wait for him and started to do what I had to do. A shadow stood out in front of me. Soarin was behind the French door.

"Hey, why didn't you wait for me?"

"I didn't want to bother you."

I kept on hanging my laundry out, looking away and avoiding to grab my bras and panties in front of him. He ran his hand through his hair, nervous. I was scared of what he could tell me, especially if that was that he changed his mind. And yet, I was unable to cut it short.

"So... Have you thought about it?"

Clack. The pin clenched around a big stitches sweater, water dropping on the floor. He hadn't changed his mind at all and suddenly, I wasn't sure anymore whether I should be happy or depressed because obviously, this meant he was expecting an answer from me and I still didn't know what to say. My heart, my brain, my pride... They had troubles getting the informations together. It would be easier to tell him the truth, to explain him what were my fears but I didn't feel so brave all of a sudden. If I could, I would bang my head against a wall, screaming at me: what the f*ck are you doing? Where did you hide the real Rainbow Dash, you fake?! I guess I've seen "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers" one time too many.

"More or less," I answered, my voice shaky.

"More or less..."

His voice trailed off the last syllable. His eyes were weighing upon my shoulders. My gestures were so vague I let a dress fall on the ground.

Soarin looked back, mumbled a curse before crossing the French door, his socks touching the concrete floor. He leaned over, picked up my dress and put it back in my hands. Both crounching under the washing line, we looked like kids playing hide-and-seek.

"There's something which seems to be bothering you. I don't know what it is... Maybe it would be easier for me to understand if you told me."

It was now or never, I knew it.

"The thing is... No one ever asked me such a question before..."

I was only half-lying. Indeed, not a boy ever asked me to be his date. It was stupid, I know, but a part of me still wanted to keep secret the fact that my biggest fear was that love would change the way I was. I already couldn't recognize myself whenever he was around me. And it really, really, really pissed me off. But at the same time... I liked him, that was a fact.

Soarin sighed and took my hand. I jolted from surprise and fell on my back. We both laughed. I felt so unbearable when I was acting so... girly-like. And yet, his laugh sounded like candy to my ears, like a melody telling me this wouldn't be a big deal, that everything could be easy. But when his eyes turned serious again, I swallowed.

"You like me, don't you? I know you do. And I like you too. We're fine together. It's pleasant to be in your company, I'm feeling good with you. I don't need to play a role. You're natural and you always have something cool or fun to say. And I think you're very pretty, I confess... It could be great, you and me together."

Alright, this wasn't a confession full of passion like in the movies but that wasn't my expectations anyway. His words sounded sincere. A part of my resistance beat it, melting like ice cubes in a mojito (or is it a margarita?).

Soarin stood up straight, stretching out his hand. I took it and in a few seconds, I was back on my feet. The fresh air whipped my face, blowing in my hair getting in my eyes. His face was so close and his eyes... I never saw eyes that green. His hands and the promiscuity of this body wrapped a sweet warmth around me. I've drunk all my margarita, ice cubes included.

"Yes," I muttered. "Yes, it could be great... Awesome, even. Let's try that and... see."

Yeah, that was my answer and it was worth what it was worth. I am no poet, get it?

He smiled cracked open his face, the brightest smile I ever seen. I could feel his body relaxing, his shoulders lowering and it echoed inside me. I had only been focused on my own fears and hadn't paid much attention to what he could have been feeling all along. I was so sorry... But didn't show. Because, hey, pride, people, pride! Never forget about pride!

"Can I, em, take you in my arms?"

This unusual request made me grin. It sounded a little sappy but also touching. And better than someone doing things without permission. It would have been stupid from me to say no to him, though I was still scared of what would be happening to me.

I nodded.

His arms wrapped around my waist and I let myself go without further thinking, the dress still in my hands. He held me in his arms without pressure. I put my cheek against his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him as well. No matter what would happen between us, I was feeling so good right then, with him and the city of Canterlot as our only witness.

For as long as it lasted...

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This time, it was an official date. Soarin had planned to keep his Sunday afternoon free, in case I would say yes. I had no reason to refuse and leaving the hostel to get some fresh air was a good idea.

In the subway train, we found two free seats. How many times did I watch (and despised) all these couples living as if they were in their own world? I hated that we probably looked like that as well.

I wanted us to go to an area near my school, where they sold nice clothes for half the usual price.

My mind relaxed, I enjoyed our walk and our laughs as I prayed we would meet no one from school, since I hadn't told anyone about him yet and some, I knew, wouldn't be very pleased to know I was hiding things.

We went inside almost all the stores on our way. I had fun making him try the most ridiculous clothes we could find, and I swear we were so loud even the salesgirls were ashamed of us. But we weren't. It was different than our last stroll in the city but awesome all the same. The only difference was that when we stopped to get a smoothie, he took my hand. I know, no big deal. Except I couldn't help thinking the harm was done and I was looking like a sap dummy for real. Was going to be very difficult to get used to it. If I ever got used to it...

It was nothing compared to what we had to go through on our way back home, when we grabbed a train. The crowd was so thick I could barely breath. Soarin and I had been like sucked up in the mass of people getting on, pushed towards the back of the train without moving our feet. An old lady stepped on my feet and didn't even apologize. And they say us young people are bad mannered!

At first, I was against him and he held my waist so I wouldn't fall but it seemed like there still was too much space between us, since one girl and a man seperated us and I found myself crushed against strangers smelling awful. It was nightmare on Elm Street. But without Freddy Kruger.

It was already night when we arrived at the hostel. As always, the streets were restless, even when it was cold, like that night. All the small restaurants along the path had their lights on, and in front of the largest one, couples were waiting, smoking on cigarettes, on chairs under a warmed up terrace. Families and businessmen were meddling, students were getting out the grocery store while some got in. The neons signs were sparkling. A cat crossed the chaos with quick strides. Soarin and I were walking side by side in silence. He was still holding my hand and I slowly adapted myself to this new condition. Even holding a boy's hand, I'm still awesome, anyway.

It had been a good day which had gone by too fast. Tomorrow, I'd be back to my routine: gym, lessons, lessons, lessons, writing, movies.

He walked me to my door. Well, he was obliged to get to it since his own door was right beside mine. What a strange thing to think we were seperated only by a few inches and yet, it took one key issue to have us getting closer for real. Without his absent-mindednesss, maybe we would never even talk. I wouldn't know he was not only handsome but he had a great personality too.

I put my key inside the lock, opened my door. He was waiting, probably for me to be safe inside, as if anything could happen to me between my welcome carpet and my room. And then, I understood. We hadn't said goodbye. A couple never part without saying goodbye, especially not a brand new one. Silly Dash!

"Did you have fun today?" he asked me.

"Yes, it was awesome. You picked the right beany."

Did I forget to tell you that? Between two try-outs of ugly clothes, he found a beany which he felt love at the first time for. He's that type of guy.

He fixed his beany, then seemed to be changing his mind and left it. His hair did small cowlicks.

"I see you next week, then?"

"Yeah. I can't wait. Hey, what are you doing tonight? I have this new "The Flesh and the Devil" DVD to watch..."

I asked on the off-chance, with no ulterior motive.

"It's very nice of you but I have a little something to learn for, em, school. And I haven't slept a lot last night... I was thinking about a girl."

I smiled as I understood what he meant. One entire week without him, I didn't know why but I felt it would be long. If I started to think like this, I knew I was on a slippery slope. Either I held back at something, anything, either I let myself fall. I didn't want it to be my choice but I already was feeling attracted to emptiness.

Then, I thought about something elementary but which none of us seemed to have thought about. I looked through by bag and grabbed by phone.

"Give me your number."

Of course, he accepted my request and got his phone out as well. The messenger bag he always had with him intrigued me. I never asked what was inside of it but it aroused my curiosity. I promised myself that one day, I'll get through the mystery of the messenger bag... We exchanged our numbers, with selfies on the post to illustrate them.

Once this was done, it was about time to say goodbye. For real. He had just pressed one of his large palms against the frame of my door, no longer smiling. His eyes were scanning me... My heart skipped beats in my chest when I understood what was about to happen. All the signs were here, loud and clear. I was surprised to see my own eyes drifting towards the bottom of his face. My breathing got faster. I couldn't move a single muscle.

It probably was the natural next step. The thing was that I wasn't sure if I was ready for it. Obviously, that was what Soarin wanted to know as well.

The scariest often is to take the plunge. To put one first foot on the stage. Like not knowing what was going to happen exactly. Most of the time, the best of defense is to attack. Fears are easier to overcome when they're being challenged. So I challenged mine, especially as I had seen far worst on my life.

I closed my eyes.

Time seemed to have stopped. It was like I had waited forever, with my eyes closed in from of him. My hands grabbed the door frame behind me and squeezed. I was feeling so vulnerable and of course, I hated it. I was about to open up my eyes again, thinking I have mistaken his intentions again (did I ever mistake his intentions in reality? I think I didn't. Rainbow Dash, number one mind reader)... That was when he softly pressed his lips against mine.

I clenched the wood until it hurt. He put one hand against my shoulders. The light pressure against my mouth had nothing scary. Conversely, it even was rather pleasant and I was surprised I returned the kiss. With butterflies all over my stomach. It wasn't as good as winning a competition but it was close.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds when I opened up my eyes again, for good and saw Soarin's face in front of me. With that stunning smile on.

Only for that, I was ready to be the sappiest tree of the forest.

The Belles of St. Trinian's

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Monday morning was back. Along with it came reality. It was an endless beginning which has gone on without me and will go on without me. I knew it, and yet...

I didn't know how early Soarin left the hostel to get to his school's dormitories but when I passed by his room earlier, there were no lights on. Was he still asleep or had he already left, I didn't know. When he first told me about that dormitories thingy, I thought that weird he wouldn't be living there during weekends as well... But dormitories didn't mean he was like Harry Potter. And surely the infamous dormitories were closed on weekends, nothing else.

It was seven and a half and our first lesson started at nine, but Pinkie Pie and I had out little ritual. I took a train to and wait for her in Main Street. Then we get a line to our school together. We could have got there seperately. But my best friend was scared to be late if she had no good reason not to.

I'd stopped by the newspaper stand and I was leafing through the latest issue of Music World Magazine, almost as if it were some porn material or something... Well, I must admit there were a lot of hot musicians inside and I liked to stare at hot boys who played guitar. Although none of them now seemed to be as hot as the guy next door - literally.

Pinkie Pie was late. I could never understand how could someone be even later than I was. For whatever reason, she's always the one everybody's waiting for, even today. For sure, it fits the rest of the character... Though I know her so much I'm a little less surprised than others. Which doesn't mean she can't surprise me at all.

The stand's salesman didn't take his eyes off me. He was staring at me from under his glasses with such a sinister look that I told myself he surely was thinking I was trying to steal his precious little magazine. Sighing, I put it back on the pile.

Someone screamed my name. Every passersby turned around on my tornado of a best friend, running like mad towards me. She stopped a few inches away, out of breath, her hands leaning against her knees. Her curly hair almost hid her face completely. Before meeting her, I could hear the old salesman mumbling something about young people nowadays, supposedly lacking manners. Pinkie Pie often got this effect on bitter persons.

I went towards her, fixing the cello case on my shoulders. She looked up, her face in fire, cheeks scarlet.

"You're late again... What was it this time?"

If her reasons were important - like mine - I'd understand but most of the time, they were either trifling or weird. As if she was doing it on purpose, just to be better than me on that matter.

"I absolutely wanted to wear these leggings with this sweater, see," she answered as she started to breath again. "Except Mrs. Cake put them with the laundry last night. I had to dry them..."

Mr. and Mrs. Cake were the persons who Pinkie Pie, who came from a farmhouse of the North West, was living with. They weren't related in any way, they simply rented a room for her above their bakery and sometimes, she helped them with cakes and babysat their newborn twins.

Pinkie Pie is a living music video of the 80s when it comes to her look. Everything colorful and eccentric found favor with her, even if it is flashy. Or especially if it's flashy. The leggings in question were some sort of hot pink leatherette. The sweater that stuck out of her black wool cloak was a long sweatshirt, too large for her already generous body, as crimson as her cheeks have been earlier.

I shrugged, choosing not to comment and because I was used to it now, and we walked in the direction of our platform. There are nine stations to go before reaching the CAM. They're all extremely frequented at rush hour, from beginning to end. Pinkie and I knew what was coming next. People, people and people again.

No morning was an exception and no night as well. I pushed her to hurry up as we hurtled down the stairs leading to the platform. The bell resounded, indicating a train is coming near but I wasn't sure which side it was. I also heard Pinkie mumbling because she wasn't an athlete at High School like me and she wasn't able to run that fast, and she already has ran enough for today. I pointed out that she used the argument "not a former athlete" only when it suited her and she laughed. Very loud.

Fortunately, the first train to arrive was the one of the opposite platform.

We had our little trick to avoid the most crowded spots of the train, trick that I regretted I didn't use when with Soarin (I was too caught up on not looking too sappy, I guess). We avoided spots with nearby stairs or benches. People tend to stop there without further thinking. Getting a free seat almost was a miracle... but sometimes, miracles could occur.

"When I think Rarity comes everyday in a car with a chauffeur," Pinkie Pie said, leaning against a trashcan.

Rarity. Pinkie and I regard her as our other best friend. She was a musician as well, and played grand piano. Her father was the CEO of the number one daily newspaper of Canterlot and her mother was a former model. It surprised everyone when she befriended with us instead of the superficial daddy's girls peopling the school. She said it was because she felt like a normal student with us.

"Yeah, some are lucky, that's all."

The bell resounded again, this time for our platform. Pinkie and I took a few steps towards the queue in front of the door. I kicked an imaginary rock, hands in my pocket...

"What a disgrace!"

Behind me, while climbing inside the train, I heard her laughing out loud. When she laughs, Pinkie never puts her hand in front of her face unless there's a boy she likes. Otherwise, she laughs with her mouth wide opened. She doesn't even care about how the others would react to that. She's who she is and too bad for them.

Thankfully, we were able to get two seats side by side in our train. An old lady with a raspberry jacket and flashy clogs looked at us coldly as Pinkie Pie fell on them like a vulture on a prey.

Quickly, the train left the platform. Silence and discretion were required. All eyes were on a screen or reading a book. In Canterlot, people have to be busy when taking the subway. It's some kind of tacit rule to which everyone obeys although they don't know the reason. I didn't want to take my phone out and had no book to read, so I watched my peers.

Pinkie did it so, except I was the peer she was watching. I knew those eyes... She noticed something.

"Is that a new beany?"

Instinctly, I rose my hand and touched the wooly material. I had almost forgotten that Soarin finally gave it to me by hanging it at my knob and that I chose to wear it this morning. To be honest, I wavered about it precisely because I didn't want to be showered down with questions by Pinkie. I thought she hasn't noticed yet and that I was safe. Beep, you were wrong, Miss Dash!

"Uh... Yeah. I bought it last Sunday. Near the school, you know..."

"You went there... And you haven't even called me?"

In general, I had to never go there without her. She was supposed to be my guide, telling me where to go, how not to get trapped and how to bargain. That I went there without her immediatly sounded suspicious and I cursed myself for telling the truth.

"I wanted to do that on my own, for once."

"Yeah, if you say it so," she answered with her distrustful voice. "That's weird, my dear Watson..."

She didn't insist but I knew it, the fact Pinkie seemed to be satisfied with that for now didn't mean she wouldn't try again, if possible when I'd be expecting it the less, in order to get me off-guard - she really likes it. I had to be skilled to avoid her questions or it wouldn't be any good for me.

Not that I was ashamed of Pinkie or that I didn't want to tell her I had a boyfriend now. But Pinkie Pie had decided that before anything to start, she had to approve the boyfriend in question. It was too fresh between us for me to decide to impose him a best friend as curious as a weasel who would season him with questions. It would come all in good time. When it will be so solid that, anyway, no one would find anything else to add.

=================================================***======================================

Canterlot Academy of Music (aka CAM) wasn't exactly your usual College. Students could start there at age sixteen. Our schedule left free time for creation, free time not to be spent in trifles. In general, lessons in the morning are said to be theory: literature, English and Geography and History of music. Then, on afternoons, we practiced our instruments and had classes of music theory and arrangements, both for our classic and our modern instruments, which were cello and guitar for me, as I said. We also had options like visual arts or creative writing.

With Pinkie, we usually tried not to be too late so we wouldn't have to run to get to our amphitheater. Today, because of my best friend retardedness, we were a bit in a hurry... Further, we could see our small group of friends in front of the main building's stairs. They were easy to spot because of "the twins" and Big Macintosh, one of our friend who was very tall. Big Mac, as we call him, used to work on a farm and had been spotted by our Principal during a gig he was doing with his sister. She asked them whether they'd be interested in learning music as professionals and he said yes, but his little sister Applejack refused because if not, no one would be at the farm to help their grandmother and little sister.

The least I could say is that our bunch was far from being homogeneous. We each came from very different backgrounds (Pinkie's childhood farm wasn't exactly a farm in reality), and had a unique character. But I like our strange bunch, precisely because there's no other bunch of friends like that. I think our differences are what makes us stronger.

Pinkie Pie was in the middle of one of her usual frenzies... She was wondering whether we'd learn novels with erotic scenes because she read a book this weekend that was heavy on the sex scenes. It made me laugh... I don't know whether it was because I was in a good mood or her hare-brained ideas were that good but I know I wanted her to stay in this field. I didn't feel like being questioned again about this weekend.

We were barely arrived yet that I suddenly saw "the twins" (you might have guessed they're not exactly twins... In fact, they weren't even sisters) charging at me, with a very quick pace. Was our teacher absent or something? No, because they would be going towards both Pinkie and me if that was it, each getting an arm to perform the good news.

Except Lyra and Bon Bon (real name's Sweetie Drops) weren't aiming my bestie but only me. They were the easiest to spot after Pinkie and everybody at the CAM knew who they were.

Behind them, Big Mac and Rarity are displaying their usual blasé face, the one they put on each time "the twins" were getting a new fancy. Students were turning around as they passed us by and seemed to be wondering what kind of eccentricites our bunch had on our mind this time.

Lyra and Bon Bon were falling on my neck like furies, speaking both at the same time. I couldn't get a word of what they were saying. And, why me? Pinkie wasn't targeted in the least, which meant I was their only victim. The accent they got when they're overexcited made it very hard for me to understand them and I only could note their gleeful leaps and nothing else. It made my best friend laugh, though she wasn't helping at all, no more than my two other companions, still blasé. How I like them when they're acting this way (feel my big irony)!

Annoyed by the indecipherable and embarrassing noise, I pushed each of "the twins" on the side, gently but firmly, as we almost reached the stoned stairs leading to the main door. It felt even more annoying because my reaction kept on amusing everyone, especially Lyra and Bon Bon, laughing.

"Have you turned mad or something?! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Oh, please, don't be so moody," Lyra said, folding her arms with pouty lips. "We're only happy for what's happening to you, that's all."

"Happy for me? Wait, what?"

It suddenly felt as if there was crushed ice inside my throat. If they saw me this weekend with Soarin and they knew about us - through a sheer process of deduction though they often are completely off-beam - I knew I wouldn't like it one bit. I wanted to keep my relationship secret until it got more serious. If they saw me and tell it, Pinkie was going to understand I had lied to her about my beany and she was going to drive me up the wall with it and why coudn't I trust her and how withholding information was the death of people and how wrong it was to hide things from your best friend... And I didn't want that.

I crossed my fingers behind my back, hoping no one would see. Maybe I was off-beam and panic-striken (inside) for nothing. I had to master myself in order to avoid misbehaviors.

The two girls looked at each other, an excited expression distorting their features. I feared the worst.

"Haven't you heard?" asked Bon Bon.

"I've just arrived..."

"We heard Cloud Chaser say that Thunderlane liked you and wanted to confess to you real soon."

Cloud Chaser is the infamous Thunderlane's best friend. They were both easy to identify since boys and girls always stuck to them like a bee to honeysuckle. By my side, Pinkie opened her mouth as wide as a fish looking for water. Obviousy, she wasn't expecting this at all and neither did I. It reassured me in a way... But in reality, it didn't. It even was a HUGE problem. Emphasize on HUGE.

Lyra thought it to be awesome. Though dry, my throat was also almost scalding. I had nothing against Thunderlane... back then. He was handsome, athletic, what a lot of my female peers called a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity except I wasn't the kind of girl to easily get carried away (please forget about what happened on the previous weekends). And I had Soarin already, though I obviously was the only one to take this factor into account.

"What is going to be your answer?" the other girl asked, curious.

I already knew I was going to say no, if the rumor appeared to be true. But it was best to be wise with those two. They were unrivaled when it came to spread gossips and everybody knew that, by traveling from mouth to mouth, gossips generally end up crippled once they fall into your ears. Inside, I prayed for it to be the case this time.

"Before I answer anything, it has to be real, not just a rumor."

I pushed the heavy door leading inside the building, hurried to get over with that story. As soon as I'd be in the amphitheater, parted from the rest of the group, this rumor was going to vanish away slowly and with a bit of luck would be completely forgotten by the end of the classes.

Unfortunately, I barely stepped forward that I met face to face with Thunderlane, without his best friend, AWOL. He smiled at me, shy, and everybody took an advantage from it to leave us alone so they would be no bother. Passing me by, Big Mac patted my shoulders, as if to encourage me, while Pinkie shows her invisible watch on her wrist, which could be translated like that: get rid of him quickly before classes start.

I had an idea that Thunderlane wasn't Pinkie's type of guy neither. He was too "regular" in his way of thinking, of acting and reacting. The complete opposite of herself, in fact. And of myself as well. Yep, definitely not awesome enough.

His two hands clenching his violin case, dressed with an elegant beige suede coat, Thunderlane was staring at his sneakers, blushing. He was wearing dark blue jeans of an Italian luxury brand and a turtleneck red sweater. His hair was silvery and crop on the side. Classical beauty, he looked a soft and slightly sophisticated. A dream for a girl my age. But not for me, obviously.

"I suppose you already know..."

I was secretly hoping "the twins" enthusiasm had been caused by some misunderstanding of words but at that moment, I knew I had to stop hoping. His crimson face and his embarrassment in front of me were many evidences of the reality.

Maybe it wasn't kind of me but I didn't want to be late for classes. Though our teacher was often absent, when she was here, she didn't put up with anyone cutting off her lecture to get a seat in the amphitheater. It obviously bothers someone who bothers someone who bothers someone. I knew that benevolence would be appropriate in our case. But I hadn't time for that. If only it happened another moment.

"Does it bother you if we're chatting while walking? You know what's that teacher like..."

He said nothing and only nodded. Docile, he followed me as I was climbing the stairs to get to the room.

To be honest, I couldn't understand why he has chosen me when he could have had anyone he wanted. It seemed to be incredible that among the mass of female representatives, he had set his heart on me. Yeah, I was and still am awesome but I mean, there were many other girls with prettier faces and bigger boobs on the campus and he just had to kick a trashcan to get a girlfriend. Or two.

"So..." he started. "Have you heard the rumor?"

"Yeah, obviously. Couldn't be any different with the twins..."

I don't know whether that was supposed to comfort him or not. He kept on following me as we climbed the stairs, lost in thoughts. He said the word "rumor" but I doubted he considered it to be nothing but a silly gossip that he would tell me to forget everything about. Or else, why waiting so long? He would've got rid of it immediately. Unless that was another boys and girls relationship thing that was foreign to me.

Right beside me, I could feel Thunderlane being feverish and this fever reminded me of myself, a few days earlier. Of course, it was a different situation but the principle was the same. I could now understand Thunderlane because I've been in his shoes. In some kind of way.

The other difference was that I already knew what to answer. Yet, I also knew how my classmate would feel and I hoped it wouldn't hurt too much. I couldn't do it any other way even if I wanted to and I didn't want to. Thunderlane was handsome and looked like a very nice person, though I didn't really know him but I think that, even without Soarin in the equation, I would have said no anyway. I don't think he was my type of guy. And he surely wasn't, damn! Something was missing, something I couldn't yet explain.

We reached the amphitheater. Around us, students were coming and going. We weren't alone and he had to deal with it. It was as if Thunderlane willingly wanted to make things complicated. I don't know why didn't he wait for a best moment to come and talk to me. It would have avoided him a small humiliation... Unless he was so sure of his own charms that he was convinced I couldn't say no.

"So..."

I scratched the back of my head and looked all around me, trying to find a diversion to look away. His eyes full of hope made me feel like I was a complete b*tch. He certainly would hold a grudge against me and I wouldn't be mad. Ah ah.

"In fact, you probably found it sudden but it's been a year since I had a crush on you. Your friends scare me a bit, that's why I waited for so long but you are the prettiest girl of this school. I bought the magazine in which you write short stories and I like what you're doing. I like the way you dress and your rainbow hair. Maybe we could... hang out sometimes."

When Soarin asked me out the second time, he had been pretty clear. He said he liked me, he thought I was smart, natural, funny, awesome (of course, he did, how couldn't he?) and that he wanted to get to know me better. He told his intentions. Out of what I write for the magazine, Thunderlane only complimented me on my physical appearance. How could he be sure I was the one for him based on these only requirements? There could be a monster hiding behind my face. Sounded like it hadn't even brushed the back of his mind.

It only confirmed what I thought. Even without Soarin, my answer would have been the same. Thunderlane wasn't my type of guy. He represented an ideal but he lacked spice. He was the typical fantasies of the others, that I wasn't. I didn't want to have someone who looked good and talked smoothy. I wanted someone like the one I have found, who doubted sometimes, could be clumsy too and stroke a chord in me. All that the pretty shaky boy in front of me wasn't. Although I felt sorry for him, I couldn't say anything else than "no".

"Listen, Thunderlane... I don't want to lie to you. I can't accept. I already have a boyfriend."

I know. I told it to him and not to my best friend. But I thought the truth would be less hurtful. No one wants to hear the person they like say they don't represent something attractive, that they don't match our desires. It was better off this way. He would know the truth, that I was a loyal girl who got committed, not a frivolous someone falling on any boy's neck, even though she was not free, just because there was an opportunity. I thought he would suffer a bit less.

His eyes said a lot about it. He was touched in his pride but I felt like deep inside he knew it, unless he regretted he hadn't thought of this possbility. Something was broken inside him. But, as a respectable person, he was able to stay composed, and smiled, though less brightly than usually.

Time was running out and I knew we wouldn't be able to talk deeper about my refusal. He had to hurry up registering the shock in the most honorable way possible because he was that type of person. Those who liked to salvage things because appearances are a concrete wall shielding you from bruises of ego. I knew that too.

"Alright, I understand. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Truth is always better than a white lie, you're right. Thanks for listening to me."

Immediately after that, without a glance back, he rushed into the amphitheater. To be turned down is never easy. I would have feel so bad if I had been in Thunderlane's shoes. In a way, I admired his grit. There were very little chances that
I would have been able to keep so much dignitiy and thank the other for listening to me. I hate losing. More than anything else.

At the exact moment when I stepped into the amphitheater as well, our teacher was standing on the dais, turning her mike on.

=============================================***==========================================

By the end of the lecture, sh*t poured down on me. Or so, I thought. Pinkie was beside me and hadn't asked the slightest question about the confession. She hadn't even tried to know whether or not there had been a confession. For someone as curious as she, it was a miracle. I suspected she was more intrigued about my bonnet than about the whole Thunderlane case.

Myself, I have been far from that all lecture long. Although theory subjects might seem to be minor, in fact they were very important.

Once we were finally delivered, at least until the next lecture, in the same amphitheater, I felt almost relieved to note all the students leaving the room without a care about me. The rumor which wasn't a rumor probably hadn't spread as much as I feared or, in reality, no one gave a sh*t about that.

My optimism was cut short. Thunderlane and his best friend, along with a boy who sometimes hanged out with them, left the room as well and as soon as they went through the door, I saw my whole bunch of friends getting up and gathering around me.

Even the little thing which happened under my flabbergasted nose before the band left went unnoticed. That boy from Thunderlane's bunch put his eyes on Pinkie who smiled at him... reservedly. RESERVEDLY. But the most incredible of it all wasn't even this detail. Pinkie did something she never, and I mean never ever, ever fiveever, do. She lowered her eyes and tucked strands of hair behind her ears. It shocked me so much I couldn't even utter a word. And before I could get together again, "the twins" were within my field of vision, knees against chairs that weren't theirs without a care about crumpling the clothes which weren't theirs neither, eblows leaning against our table, their faces so close to mine it was almost indecent.

Behind them, Big Mac and Rarity half-smiled and shrugged. But... Althoug they were less curious, they were here and wanted to know the end of the movie. Pinkie, meanwhile, played casually with her tablet. She was going to satisfy herself with relishing the show.... This method was called getting informations without asking.

"Come on, tell us... What did he say?"

"Has he confessed to you?"

If it seemed to be obvious that the asnwer was yes and that my own answer was as clear as crystal for anyone slightly observant, I noted that nothing was worth a confirmation in person. Supposing I would've said yes to Thunderlane, he would never had left the room that way, without even looking at me. Yet, it wasn't enough. They had to add to his humiliation by telling my friends that yes, he did confess to me and that no, I didn't accept the offer. Looking for evidences of how cruel human nature could be? Say no more!

The best to do was finishing off the horse. I decided not to dawdle on for ages, altough my audience wasn't going to like it. They would know about it sooner or later, anyway...

"In fact, yes, he confessed to me..."

"Oh," they both sang in unison.

In a few seconds, they were going to be very disappointed. By my side, Pinkie Pie was pricking her ears casually while Big Mac and Rarity seemed to be discussing of a completely different topic.

"But I haven't said yes."

"What?!!!"

In stereo, I got a double share of indignation. Lyra and Bon Bon both rolled their eyes and one of them even put her hands in the air to emphasize how skeptical they were. Yet, everything seemed to show it was exactly what had happened, I don't know... I probably didn't know yet how much hope springs eternal. Unless they were thinking about us doing something weird, like let's keep it secret in school. Ah ah (again).

Pinkie Pie produced a muffled chuckle, half-smiling as well though her eyes were still on her tablet. As far as the others two were concerned, they were laughing at "the twins" outraged faces. It seemed like that event wasn't even a real event for my own bunch.

"Oh, come on!" Bon Bon shot. "Are you dumb or something? He's Thunderlane, the freshest guy in school. You'll never find better than him."

I shrugged. I wasn't going to tell them that Soarin was worth a million Thunderlane but, if I understand what was so attractive about a boy like him, I wasn't certain he was so exceptional I had to start thinking my life was over now. My taste and preferences should count, not the others' standards.

"You don't know that. Maybe there's better in other schools..."

They still were skeptical. The glance they exchanged said a lot about it. They were thinking I was talking nonsense.

"No, seriously... I refused to date that guy? No big deal! And see the bright side of it all: Thunderlane is free for other lucky girls, and you owe it all to me. No, no, don't thank me..."

"Oh yeah! Rejected guys are more likely to accept comfort in order to forget. You have damn good idea."

"Hey, I know that already!" I answered with a wink.

Bon Bon grabbed her bestie by the neck and led her to lower seats. Would have feel good to sigh from relief but I couldn't forget the fact that my own best friend was by my side and that she might act like she didn't care, she cared. Pinkie Pie always care. She always wants to know everything, especially when it's about friends and I couldn't see why this juicy story would be an exception. She probably had something else on her mind.

"Skillful trick, Dashie. You did very well..."

Despite her casual tone, this reply was the evidence that she knew what was going to be my answer and that was the reason why she hadn't stuck her nose into that business. Her eyes casually drifted to my beany, letting me think she knew I hid something. And I knew she wasn't about to forget and would grill me again in the hope of discovering my dirty little secret.

or: How I Stopped Worrying and Love the Bomb

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One of the advantages of a school in this area was that many things were within our reach. When we had long breaks between our classes, we could get out of the campus to grab a coffee or do some shopping. It often happened to us on Wednesdays.

Most of the time, we made the most of it to have lunch together elsewhere than at the school's canteen, which was often crowed of the same persons we always saw all the time. It felt good to have a small change of scenery and to think about something else than music, though we always came back to music.

Today, Pinkie wanted an Equestrian buckwheat pancake with rice pudding. We stopped at a small restaurant with those specialties. It was a very lively place, with a lot of students from other Colleges, and workers of the same area. I chose a pancake with an egg and tons of cheese while Pinkie and the others decided to share a dish of fried pickles. Our conversations were going well. Although we came here to think about something else than music, we couldn't help chatting about it.

"The twins" went out to buy magazines and asked us to keep their seats. As I already explained, they were very fond of gossips. But they weren't satisfied with gossips about CAM... They also liked the ones about famous people. They could spend entire days prattling about the latest scandals. They elaborated theories, drew conclusions from hazy little pictures and made them real in their minds.

I never understood this passion for he said/she said. All I ever care about is what's going on in the life of the ones I know and love. I never cared about what was on the cover of magazines with celebrity scandals. Each time they started to talk about it, I kept a low profile not to be meddled with this big unpacking of bullsh*t.

Bon Bon and Lyra arrived. They were easy to notice with their very high-heel shoes clicking against the floor and because no one speaks that loud. Yeah, not even Pinkie. I like them a lot but they were likely to give me headaches.

After they ordred, they started to leaf through one of their magazines and comment about what they found, from the most important piece of imformation to the smallest picture. They were a few dishes away yet I could hear them clearly. I couldn't care less... until one high-pitch cry almost ruined my eardrums. With that special reservation of hers, Pinkie Pie hit Lyra's top head and snatched the magazine off her hands, under Bon Bon's whining. How I'm in love with Pinkie when she's that spontaneous!

"Dang, why are you screaming like that? You scared the costumers."

Can you smell that fragrance of bad faith floating in the air? Cause I sure did!

In reality, the other clients barely looked up when they screamed and immediately resumed eating.

"We're sorry, Pinkie but page twenty, there's an enormous revelation... The new actors for the "Greatest Show Off" franchise has been revealed..."

"And we're fans," finished Bon Bon.

Originally, "The Greatest Show Off" was a series of books telling the story of a bunch of teenagers who discovered they were the last survivors of a natural disaster, which gave them superpowers and tried to look for other survivors. They eventually found some, on another continent but they were parted in four categories, one of them being composed of the wealthiest people trying to dominate the other groups. They all fought against each other. My mother used to read it when she was a teen... Everfree (our equivalent to Hollywood) made its first adaptation of the series when I was born and ever since, they rebooted it endlessly.

Against all expectations, Pinkie suddenly seemed to be very interested. She put the magazine between us on the table and looked for page twenty. "The twins" were protesting before getting up to stand beside us, thus missing nothing of the exclusivity. They bothered the waitress bringing our dishes... I smiled and thanked her while everyone, with the exclusion of myself, was monopolized by that magazine. They all commented... Even Big Mac, much to my surprise. I thought he was like me and didn't like modern teenage-centered action flicks much...

Pinkie elbowed me as I was starting to eat.

"Hey, look at that, Dashie... Does that boy remind you of someone? I'm sure I've already seen this face before."

Although I didn't want to take the slightest look at that, I leaned over. My eyes looked for a familiar face... Obviousness didn't strike me immediately but when it did, it wasn't soft at all. I opened my eyes wide, feeling my cheeks burning. No... That couldn' be. And yet, it sounded logical. Drama classes. Auditions. Texts to learn by heart.... Everything fell into place. Yeah, sheer logic. So why couldn't I believe it?

I had to made it sure. I snatched the magazine off its spot and stuck the picture to my eyes. Everybody looked at me like I was mad... And maybe I was. Mad. Completely insane. Under the picture, there was a caption saying the actor chosen for the lead role was a newbie who only acted in advertisements as a child and played theater at school before but that he was exceptionally talented. Good in music, good in sports. And his name was printed in black and white. No doubt. It was Soarin. My Soarin.

"Oh, sh*t!"

I put the magazine back, eyes staring at the emptiness. My limbs were like gum. I couldn't put up with what I saw and read. It felt as if I was in a middle of a bad dream and couldn't wake up at all. Everything around me seemed to be surreal and fleeting. I was feeling oppressed.

Pinkie pat my shoulders, worrying. I shook my head and my soul was back in my body. Yet I couldn't get rid of a sensation of awkwardness, like when there's a stupid spelling mistake in my "Daring Doo" books.

I roamed through my bag in a hurry and left the counter. My friends acted as if they didn't wonder what the hell was wrong with me but I knew they felt the change. I was unable redress the balance completely so I tried to cloud the issue.

"It reminded me that I must absolutely call someone. It's very important."

I'd lied as best as I could although I really wanted to call someone. I know Pinkie and the others barely believed me but I couldn't think of a plan B. I had to go step by step and the first one was to unknot the story with the person in question.

"I'm coming with you," my best friend offered, ready to get up and follow me.

"No! I'm fine on my own. It's going to take two minutes and I'll be back, I promise."

I really didn't want Pinkie to hear our conversation. She still didn't know about Soarin yet and I didn't want her to know it this way, especially as I wasn't too sure of what would become of us.

I dashed outside and didn't wait to call Soarin. After some steps, I disappeared in a perpendicular alley where very few people came and went. That conversation needed to be confidential.

A few bell resounded and finally, he picked up the phone. I didn't even let him say "hi" and immediately attacked him with a dry and quick question. Of course, it made me mad but the harm was done.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Soarin didn't answer right away. I thought I heard him swallow. Behind him, there were sounds of music, people were talking and laughing. I tried to picture that... And it kept on feeling unreal to me. My boyfriend was this person who linked his arm with mine on the subway train and said he liked to hear me play cello more than guitar because of the contrast. I put my head against his shoulders and he approved me whenever I said I was the best, or cool, or awesome or whatever. He couldn't be a professional actor, a future star (I was the future star, come on!). Not that I didn't think he would be talented enough for this... but I couldn't visualize him on one of the posters that were surrounding me each time I went to the movies... and I went there a lot!

I could hear sounds of steps, of a door slamming. The other sounds were muffled now, as if my ears were drown into water.

"What do you mean?" he finally said with a blank voice.

"Don't be like that, you know what I mean. Why didn't you tell me you were an acor who was going to feature in the new "Greatest Show Off" franchise?"

Once again, I'd spoken with a rude voice and, once again I was mad at myself.

"Sorry," I said, leaning against a wall behind me. "It moved me so much, that... Well, I'm a little lost, ya know what I mean?"

New silence. I felt a huge anxiety from him which knotted my stomach and clenched my throat. I pictured his face sad, disappointed or overwhelmed by doubts and it killed me to think I could hurt him because I was too rough and ready, like usually when it's honesty time.

"Soarin... Please, say something."

"The thing is that... I had to keep the silence until the release date and casting were confimed. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you when we start dating, I wanted it so bad but my agent confirmed to be that it would be a mistake, so... Please, don't be mad at me. You're too important for me, Dashie."

I just couldn't. I couldn't stay mad at him. His voice sounded so sincere. I still wasn't sure of what would become of us now but I knew I didn't want to lose him. But I had a few questions first...

"What will it change for us, in concrete terms?"

"Well, in a few weeks, I'll be busy promoting but I don't know the exact date yet."

"Sweet. What else do you know? I guess fans of the franchise wouldn't like that much if they learn the brand new leading role already has a girlfriend..."

Who hates that type of movie, no less. Woot woot.

"It's true. But I'm willing to take that risk and to put up with the consequences. You know... I really didn't want to hide things from you. I'm sorry you learned it this way. If you don't want us to be together now because of that, I will understand. It would hurt but I'll understand."

He gave me a choice. I could have stopped everything right then. If only I knew things that I know now...

We have been dating for barely a few weeks. Yet, I was already attached to him and to his presence. When he wasn't here, I thought about him. About his smile, his voice, his beautiful blue hair, stunning green eyes, his warm palms, the way he laughed and talked. When he wasn't around, I missed him. My eyes always stopped in front of his door during weeks, whenever I went through the corridor, to go out, to reach the bathroom or the kitchen. I was counting days until the weekends, waiting impatiently for him to knock on my door or to send me a message to tell me he's arrived. I liked it when he closed his eyes with a sweet smile whenever I played music or sang.

So, I drew the conclusion that my answer was no. I didn't want to break up, I still wanted us to be together. I wanted more, forever more. I wanted to stay with him and que sera sera, like Doris Day sang... Here was my decision.

Did I ever precise I totally SUCKED at taking decisions?

"I don't want that, Soarin. Breaking up. It was a shock, it's true but I think I start to get used to it. I don't want to throw in the towel at the first challenge, this is so unlike me. It changes some things, boo, no big deal."

"Really? Do you mean it?"

The tone of his voice was different. As if someone had taken a bullett of his chest. I shouldn't have hurt him, I didn't want to.

"Yeah, I truly mean it, silly."

But in the end, it was me who was hurt. Later. Much later. Much too late.

================================================***=======================================

Little by little, routine returned. It hadn't been always easy. First, Pinkie couldn't stop asking questions about my strange behavior when I saw that magazine. I was glad she hadn't remembered yet why that boy looked so familiar. But it never stopped those questions. She knew I was less available on weekends. I pretended I had a lot of work to do but she remained skeptical.

Then, "the twins" were long to leave me alone with the Thunderlane case. My little trick hadn't worked much. They kept on telling me that I was the blame for their Prince Charming feeling so sad lately. They absolutely wanted me to think things through and change my mind. I thought we would never change topics. I couldn't thank enough whatever celebrity's scandal that made them look away.

Nothing had yet really changed with Soarin, except sometimes he wasn't there on weekends neither. He was really excited each time he heard something new about the movie's release.

I had to admit it still felt very strange each time I tried to picture him as a famous actor. For me, he was... Well, Soarin, my awesome boyfriend. With who I was telling jokes and watching movies on my narrow bed. With who I took subway trains and who kept me in his arms when it was overcrowded.

Today, Pinkie offered we practiced our new sheets at my place. It's been a while she hadn't come to the hostel now. When she arrived, while I was having a snack with the old ladies in the kitchen, they all welcomed her as if she were their own daughter. They gave her apples and rice cakes... I wasn't surprised to see that she was very popular with them. They were really fond of dynamic young people. And dynamism should definitely be Pinkie's second name!

We were in my room. Her classic instrument was transverse flute, which high-pitched sound really fit her voice. She was sitting on my bed, her legs folded under her bottom. That also was the way she played flute when she was at home. I was on my desk chair, my back turned on her. Both were focused on our sheets. Schubert for me, Tchaïkowski for her.

"Hey, your phone's vibrating... Why you don't pick it up?" Pinkie suddenly asked.

She rolled her eyes as she saw me staring at her with mine wide opened. With the sound of our both music, I hadn't heard anything at all. Not even the neighbors complaning.

"My... phone? I don't know. It's stopped now, anyway..."

I didn't need to look at her to feel her perplexity.

I was barely focused back on my sheet that my phone got excited again. I admit I was tempted to ignore it again as well. I let it vibrate as long as possible... In front of me, I felt Pinkie watching me, wondering what the hell was on my mind this time. My eyes drifted on the screen of my smartphone, just to see who was calling with so much urging.

As soon as I read the name, I grabbed it. That was Soarin. Up until then, he never called me when Pinkie was near. My tension increased and I stayed flabbergasted, my phone in my hands, not picking it up again. I turned to my best friend... She no longer played flute at all but was staring at me, thinking I was going insane again. And coming from her, it was a bad sign.

It vibrated again. Still Soarin. He might be worried to see I never picked up. I couldn't let him wondering just because my friend was here, what kind of girlfriend would I be? Totally not an awesome one!

I breathed deeply and finally picked up the phone, leaving my seat and my cello before going outside my room.

"I'll take this out," I muttered to Pinkie Pie before closing the door behind me.

I made sure I didn't talk, while hearing Soarin repeating worried "hellos" at the end of the line. If I was that cautious, it was because I knew my best friend by heart. I knew she was able to eavesdrop in order to satisfy her voracious curiosity. It has been a while now she was intrigued by my change of habits and suspected I was hiding somthing... This phone call was one more indication.

Now I knew Soarin was about to be famous, I wanted to postpone the big revelation even more. Confessing Pinkie I had a boyfriend was one thing. Telling her that, in addition, my boyfriend was the new leading role of a very popular franchise was another thing!

"Dashie, are you here?" kept on asking Soarin's voice through the phone. "Dashie?"

"Yeah, yeah... I just wanted to be in an isolated place before I answered. Sorry for that. I was in the middle of a Schubert sheet."

"Do you want me to call you back later?"

This had Soarin written all over it! While he obviously was the busiest of us two, he was always scared he would bother me or make me lose my focus. No need to call me for that... Sometimes I thought about him so much I remained with the bow in my hands without playing for minutes. Yes, the tree had become the sap and didn't even care now.

As always, I had to comfort him. There absolutely was no need for him to call me back later. I went through the corridor, towards the kitchen. Two tourists were chatting in a language I couldn't identify. I quickly smiled at them before getting on the balcony to make sure our conversation will be private.

It was rather amusing, in fact, that I was there to talk with him. That was the place where I accepted to date him, the place where he took me in his arms for the first time. I leaned against the guardrail and watched Canterlot from above, while we were chatting about common places... but I knew he wouldn't call me just to speak about our respective schedules. He wouldn't have insisted that much otherwise.

"What about you telling me what you really wanted to call me for? I know you have something to tell me."

"I have indeed... Are you afraid?"

Because I should be afraid? If yes, the mischeviously smooth sound of his voice wasn't much appropriate. I started to know him well. Soarin was bad at hiding his emotions, despite his actor skills.... I could read his mind whether he was feeling awkward, gleeful, reserved, worried, moody, sunny... And I liked that.

Despite it all, he knew how to remain unpredictable. I could sense the way he felt but not anticipate what he was about to do or to say. I liked that too.

"Tell me already..."

The whole city stretched out in front of me. Glass skyscrapers, overcrowded streets, neon lights... The city was like a huge ant farm from up high.

"Well, Friday night, there's a press conference at the Royal Park hotel and a short premiere with the first thirty minutes of the movie. There will be people of the press as well as fans with invitations. I made sure you'll have one. If you want to, of course..."

Just a minute. What have I heard? Soarin was inviting me to a press conference? A movie premire, no less. I was expecting anything but this. He always told me we should remain a secret as long as possible and now he said I could come and see him working without anyone to be bothered. I was... stunned. For a few seconds, I didn't even know what to say... which is rare.

I only had to find a solution with Pinkie. I've promised her my Friday night would be for her since we haven't hang out on weekends for a while. She was still my best friend, after all.

"Of course, I want to but... Do you remember I told you I was spending this Friday evening with Pinkie Pie?"

"Yes, I remembered. That's why I took action. I said you would be with friends of mine. Although I don't know your friends yet but oh, well... Are you mad now?"

"Why would I be mad, you goofball? Awesome idea! Pinkie's going to love that press conference. But there's something I need you to explain to me. What did you say if now my friends are your friends?"

My question seemed legit. I knew his agent to be severe about relationships, I looked for information after Soarin kept on repeating it to me. I've learned about scandal of a fashion designer who then was an actress but I must admit it bored me to the core so I hadn't looked any deeper. All I knew was that when you were idol of teenagers, during the first years of your career, it was nothing good to be officially dating someone.

"It's a little complicated. I was telling Sunset Shimmer, you know the female leading role, that I really wanted you to be here... I didn't know Mr. Filthy Rich was in the nearby room. When I saw him, I turned very pale. He isolated me and I really thought he was going to scold the f*ck out me me, if not worse. You know how severe he is."

Yes. He was saying it each time he had a chance and when I've learned about that hazy scandal I read fans' testimonies saying how much they hated him for being too hard on his clients.

"He told me I was really good at withholding information. And that it was such a wonderful feature for an actor. He said he was ready to make an exception if we're able to conceal our story to the public. For a while, at least. So, I didn't even have to lie. Although... Well, don't you think it's a little weird too?"

"Definitely weird. Since when do bosses have big hearts?"

All the same, Soarin also thought it was dubious that he accepted our couple, and friends to know about it so easily. Maybe because he knew our story was relatively fresh and hoped it wouldn't last. After all, we were still young and nobody could say what tomorrow would bring.

I could feel his awkwardness through the silence. His earlier enthusiasm seemed to have vanished away. And I was the blame. I had to make it up to him.

"On Friday night, I think I'll come with Pinkie Pie and Rarity too."

It wasn't difficult to understand why I chose these two. Pinkie Pie, first, because she was invited anyway and would be mad at me if I kept on hiding this to her, just like Soarin couldn't conceal it eternally. Rarity because she was already seeing famous persons everyday and wasn't be the type to tell everyone I was dating a famous actor.

Big Mac had no interest for these kind of stuff. As for "the twins", they had way too much interest for that and, conversely to Rarity, they were unable to hold their tongue.

At the other side of the phone, I felt Soarin was more relaxed. I looked up... Night was falling.

"Fine. I'll write your name on the list, and Pinkie's and Rarity's. You'll have to go through a crowd of fans trying to come in but with no invitation. Be cautious, I heard it's scary sometimes. You'll give your name to the person with the list, he'll let you in and ask you to go with others in the spot dedicated to fans and family. Do you know where's the Royal Park Hotel?"

"Yeah. It's around Pond Valley, right?"

"That's right."

We chatted a few more minutes and then he hung up. He had to rehearse for that press conference and his agent was complaining because he was spending too much time over the phone...

Things were going to turn out real with that event. Within a few weeks, a few days even, Soarin was going to be someone public, a celebrity. I still couldn't get used to it. I sat on the floor to think about it. In front of me, laundry was drying in the sunset. I thought about us, right here, a few weeks earlier. How I was scared to become someone else if we started dating...

I knew that from the moment that movie would be released, or even premiered, everything would go faster. Soarin's life was going to change and lead our relationship to new spheres. I didn't know in what proportions.

When I got up, it was almost nighttime. In Canterlot, nights fell quicker than anywhere else. I couldn't explain why. I left my balcony, a little reluctantly... The two tourists weren't in the kitchen anymore, which was as empty as the computer room, and the lights of the bathroom was off. No one was in the corridor, neither. I was feeling weird.

When I opened my bedroom's door, I came face to face with Pinkie, hands on her hips. Holy cow! She was waiting for me...

"So? Who was it? Was it about food? Was it important?"

Hell yeah it was important. You won't regret it, Pinkie! And I hoped so much I wouldn't regret it neither.

There's No Business Like Show Business

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I've been warned it would be like that but I didn't want to believe. Even in front of the hotel, there already was a thick crowd piled up behind barriers, kicking and screaming, as if the whole city was gathered here. Pinkie and Rarity both looked indifferent, like this was perfectly normal.

I thought they would react in a complete opposite way when they heard I had a boyfriend and who he was. My best friend burst out laughing and said I was even worst than her at keeping secrets. She had guessed something like that from the very first day when she saw my reaction with the magazine. She said it was her Pinkie sense which drew the conclusion for her. As far as Rarity was concerned... With her parents, she was used to meet important persons. Good! I wasn't sure how I would have dealt with self-serving friends.

You had to go through the wide and luxurious lobby to get to the room where the event would take place. I realized I had never put a foot in such a hotel before. It hit me right on the head because it was rare for a common human being to face such a debauchery of refinement out of the Royal Palace, although it wasn't tawdry. It was clear with the paneling on the walls, the marble on the floor, the cristal chandelier.

I could picture myself, later, as the biggest Equestria rockstar, seeing the press in a suit of one of those beautiful hotels. I always thought if I could go as high as that, I would be completely accomplish. I wanted to make it too, to reach the goals I was aiming for... I wanted to show that I wasn't only talking and no action, that I could shine brighter than the rest.

In front of the conference's room wooden doors, there was two men dressed in black suits, who I nicknamed Agent J and Agent K, with cropped hair and cold eyes. One of them had a clipboard in his hands and the other one, his exact reflection, gave away badges.

Agent J had eyes like a machine-gun and I felt as if he could strangle us, supposing our name wouldn't be written on the clipboard's list. All the same, I smiled at him, trying politeness and gave our names. We were Mr. Soarin Skies' guests. Our name was on the list. Hooray! But the suspense wasn't that big, come on...

We were given our badges, opened the doors. Here, the setting was different.

There were men in blacks each three meters. An ocean of taken seats stretched in front of our eyes. Cameras, booms, computers and tablets, tape recorders... Each a weapon. They all looked very professional and focused. They looked at the press kit, whispered things. At the back of the room, there were a dais with a table as large which only far ends were appearing behind a large screen lowered. That was where the things happened.

A new man in black stopped us and asked to see our badges. He showed us a spot, higher. Like fools, we all looked up and discovered something that looked like a balcony, filled of people on the look out, scanning the least movements of the entire room. That was the spot reserved to privileged fans and close relations invited by the production company and actors. I didn't think we would be all mixed up like in a cocktail.

Up there, the atmosphere was different, closer to the one in front of the hotel. We were so many it was as difficult to move along as it is in the subway at the rush hour. People were squeezed against each other, pushing each other. I thought we would never be able to go through and properly attend the conference. If not, the fact Soarin was who he was would never come to life for me. I would never be able to see him as this public person, speaking in front of all those journalists and on the cover of magazines. He would still be my boyfriend, as I knew him.

Of course, even if I was able to see him, he wouldn't change much for me. But it would be harder for me to realize, that was what I meant. Everything remained hazy then, the information were here but it wasn't real.

Pinkie Pie pat a guy's shoulder who glanced at us with contempt. Bad start... And yet, the second after, he parted and let us step into the breach. Easily, we got to guardrail of the balcony, where we were going to be able to see everything perfectly. On our way, I heard whispers about us, or about one of us. I could only hear scraps but it was about fashion, with "do you think that..." and "look at her...".

That spot was very noisy, between talking journalists and fans screaming their joy at the least occasion, and let's not forget about the music resounding out of invisible speakers. And the heat... What a heat! I was going to smell like an old piece because of that heat. Couldn't they turn the heaters off? We were enough people here to open a bomb manufacture.

And that wasn't the end of my surprises. Another boy, voluntarily pushed by someone else, fell on Rarity who was forced to squeeze her body completely against the guardrail.

"I think that moron touched my bottom!" she yelled at us through the hubbub.

Both Pinkie Pie and I turned our head, ready to go for his throat, while he muttered unsincere apologies. If we weren't in a context where that kind of reactions could get us into trouble, we wouldn't have hesitated much and he would have suffered the consequences of his actions. Thankfully, before things could get any worse, lights diminished and finally were off. Piercing screams were heard from everywhere. It was about to start.

On the screen there was in front of the long table, the first fifteen minutes of the movie were shown. Well, the story was always the same but at each new "generation", they brought new elements, changed the name and personalities of the main characters, so much that the movies didn't resemble the books anymore, except for the world-building and how the story was supposed to end. More or less. It felt so strange to see Soarin playing someone else. It was his voice, his eyes, his body and his hands but it wasn't Soarin anymore.

It made me feel nervous. When the screen turned to black, I could hear fans screaming they wanted more, while a man climbed on the dais and the screen started to disappear in the ceiling. He announced the name of the main cast and of the director and everyone arrived, one by one, dressed formally but not too formally. I quickly spotted Soarin. He remained the Soarin I knew and yet, standing on that dais, smiling under the crackling flashes, he looked different. His smile that I loved so much was radiant but it wasn't his usual radiant smile. It looked like a live advertisement of a toothpaste. And now, thanks to the revolutionary whitening brush, your teeth are going to be so dazzling they would cause plane crashes.

That was the smile, more than the movie, which made me think here we are. He no longer was the boy next door, though he already was my special somebody. He was promised to something I couldn't completely comprehend yet. There was a pond of journalists between us and I was scared that soon, a whole ocean would seperate us. My throat clenched. I grabbed the guardrail.

Serious things had started. Everything looked so perfect it was almost unreal. No questions were awkward, no answer wobbly or ambiguous. As if everything had been modeled from a very precise Schubert sheet, with no dissonance. Nothing broke that mold, everything was smooth... Soarin seemed to be like a pig in sh*t. He smiled, answered the questions clearly and calmly, joked. Very professional. And smooth too. When I knew he could be unpredictable and this was what made him unique.

I wasn't sure whether I liked that. Things which are too perfect are likely to give me anxieties. I always wonder what kind of horrors that is supposed to conceal. Perfection is impossible.

==================================================***=====================================

It all happened without a bump. It even seemed to be too easy. The actors and the staff looked as happy as the many fans when they had left the conference room, once it was over. The journalists looked convinced too.

So, the conference was over but not the night. The girls and I had to meet Soarin and the main cast. I thought I wouldn't be able to see him before tomorrow but someone of the staff had come to us and told us they have organized a little something for us, to compensate the fact that Soarin was soon going to move on. That was legit. He couldn't be the lead role of such a franchise and live in a youth hostel. His agent rented a large flat for him in Silk Street, our luxury area. To be famous is to accept to spend most of your time on your job. I knew it since I understood the implications... Yet, the good news was that I would be able to see my boyfriend anyway. I could visit him, to the condition I wouldn't get spotted (start wearing wigs, Rainbow Dash). And other good news, I could also visit him when he would be promoting on television.

I thought he was joking when he first told me. That was too good to be true. That I was allowed to keep my boyfriend already was a big deal but that I could be with him during some of the promotions, it was unexpected. I knew I was lucky but he also warned me that at the least mistake, everything could disappear. Abolition of privileges. I was ready to take that risk. Call me Theda Bara, cause a fool there was.

A suit had been booked for us in the hotel for a whole hour. One assistant came to pick us up in the room and this was where we were supposed to meet everyone. I was a bit nervous to introduce Soarin to my best friends. I was scared they wouldn't like one another. It was very important for me that things would go right.

Last floor. The sound of our heels were muffled by the mellow carpeting. The staff member stopped in front of a huge door, that he opened thanks to an electronic card. In front of us emerged what is, as he said, a presidential suit where many celebrities had stayed, and especially Queen Novo and her daughter, Princess Skystar.

In the suit's drawing-room, on beautiful caramel sofas, were sitting two actors of the main cast, and Soarin. The girl was someone I already knew about, a girl named Sunset Shimmer, with loosen hair like slices of bacon and turquoise eyes but I already had forgotten the boy's name.

As soon as the staff member had left the place, I stepped towards my boyfriend. It felt strange to see him in such a setting, already a celebrity now. He was my freedom space, my breath when I started to choke... He was my yellow brick path and my own Kansas, colorful and comforting. I knew things were going to change and it made me so nervous. But, of course, I kept my composure and let nothing show. These people with him were actors as well. And it was imperative that they acknowledged my awesomeness. Not my doubting side.

We quickly do the introductions. The boy name was Sandalwood. I already saw him on television, where he played a background character on a strange and very popular show called "Makeup Artist Beauty Box". With his green dreadlocks and eyes, he didn't have the appearance of a future movie star at all, and yet, I had to admit he was actually pretty good, and rather good-looking too.

On the table between us - I sat next to Soarin and Sandalwood, whereas the others sat in front of us - there was a light meal, ordered by the staff. No alcohol, of course, although we all were in age.

As everyone started to chat and befriend, I realized that in fact, what I wanted was to spend some time alone with my boyfriend. I knew I would see him again at the hostel once it would be over but I needed to know that, despite his change of status, not much would change between us.

Quickly, I noticed something... Sandalwood often stared at Rarity. She was staring at him as well... Each time they chatted together, he was looking straight into her eyes and I could feel my friend was disconcerted. That rather was a good thing if Rarity liked a boy and a boy liked Rarity, but I felt awkward because I knew she already had a boyfriend too.

Soarin called me with a slight nudge and I looked up, surprised.

"Is everything OK?" He asked. "You're suspiciously quiet. Where's your awesomeness?"

"My awesomeness is always here. I'm glowing with awesomeness, I'm basking the room with its light."

"Alright, alright, you're fine, I get it. But you would tell if there was something wrong?"

"Of course I would. Goofy."

I couldn't tell him what I noticed about his fellow actor and my friend now but I was going to try when we would be alone.

"Hey," he said, slightly scratching my arm, while the conversation was going well. "I was going to ask the staff to get us a cab to go back home. Do you want to come with me?".

I must admit, I took this great opportunity to be face to face with him already. I've spent a whole week without seeing him, without a complain, that deserved a reward. A smile cracked open his face as I nodded, before he took my hand and we both got up.

"We're going to check whether we all could come back with the same car. We'll be right back..."

Everybody nodded and resumed their conversation. Looked like they didn't care whether we were here or not, but actually I knew they all knew this was nothing but an excuse for intimacy. I wish I were a mouse and could hear what they said afterwards.

We went through the corridor, hand in hand. Staff members were in another room of the floor, which served as a green room earlier. Soarin was guiding me and I made the most of it to talk about something that nagged at me.

"Didn't you notice something off... between Sandalwood and Rarity?"

"Yes. I didn't dare telling you..."

"You have to know. Rarity has a boyfriend, a serious one. He even knows her parents."

"Well... Let's hope that's just a passing crush, then. Sandalwood surely doesn't want to be a homewrecker."

In the green-room suit, we found the same staff member that led us to the other room, sitting on a comfortable suede armchair, busy leafing through a magazine. He looked up, surprised, then checked his wristwatch. Yes, I know, we've been here for twenty minutes... Do we need your judgement? I don't think so!

"Would that be possible to get luxury cab for us and our friends? This is my last weekend at the youth hostel and I'd like to make the most of it."

He shrugged and left the room without questions. Clearly, we annoyed him. Might not be a very cool job to be obliged to go running everywhere to satisfy someone else's whims. I only hoped he had a good salary. Which wasn't certain.

I saw Soarin going to the armchair where the staff member had sat two seconds before and grabbed the magazine he left, opened at one precise page. Suddenly, I drowned into silence as I realized I was indeed alone with him. I wanted that and yet, my heart started to race as if I feared that moment.

He watched the cover, smirked with disgust, before putting it behind him, on a table where my eyes couldn't elude the pictures. He sat there and looked at me, rising an eyebrow.

"Why are you so far from me?"

Why? If only I knew why! I wanted that and now I was here... My hands were damp and my throat burned. From where I was, I was staring at him, looking so calm, so peaceful. As if our situation didn't scare him the bit and yet, he was the one who was supposed to be scared the most... Obviously, since I'm not scared of anything. No one could tell what the future would bring. We didn't know what our still fragile relationship was going to be once he would be mediatically exposed. For sure, that was going to be far more complicated than I thought.

I slowly walked towards him and as soon as I was in front of him, he grabbed my hand and led me to his laps. He smiled at me when our eyes met and my heart skipped a beat.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, softly and I forgot why I was so worried. Why did I care so much about what we were going to be? Once I was in his arms, nothing counted anymore and I knew that whatever might happened, everything would be fine just as long as I could sit on his laps. I had faith in us, like I had faith in myself. Which just goes to show!

"I wanted to do that from the moment I saw you..." he said.

My wrists around his neck, I buried my face against the pit of his neck. He had put perfume on... Lavander, shaving soap and vanilla. I would have traded my place for nothing in the world, back then. It felt so good it was wrong. Once again, our eyes met and mine went down on his lips, so close to mine.

All it would take would be a few inches for our mouth to meet. It was the first time I felt this way, yet it wasn't the first time we kissed at all. It was as if a firework was exploding inside my stomach.

Soarin probably felt the same way since I saw a smile appeared on his handsome face. So, I closed my eyes and waited, heart in alarm, anticipating his lips against mine as a frustration increased in my belly. I could feel his breath caressing my cheeks, his arms tightening around my waist... And I heard someone opened the door behind us.

"Your luxury cab is coming. You can go now."

I was so surprised I almost fell off my chair. The guy probably knew what Soarin and I had in mind. Did he want to prevent that from happening, even though we were living one door away? I cursed him on the inside.

"Alright. Let's warn the others. Thanks a lot."

No answer. He only went back to his armchair, get his magazine and slouched on it. Obviously, embarrassment was no part of his vocabulary since I discovered he was actually reading (or, rather, fapping) a porn magazine.

Soarin and I went through the corridor on the opposite way, the farther we could from this pervert.

"That guy would deserve his own "Criminal Minds" episode..."

"Yeah, I know," Soarin answered, half-sighing and half-chuckling. "He's been sent by the studio. My agent disapproved him but they didn't want to listen."

I wondered whether or not the studio knew about the porn magazine. Let's say they didn't. Has no one heard of that #MeToo thingy around here or what?

I couldn't help being disappointed. We were so good when we were together, alone on the cool planet of awesome and awesomer (guess who's who) and now we had to front the rest of the world, already. My frustration was trying to drive me nuts.

As we were approaching the suit, much to my surprise, Soarin held me by the wrist in order to stop me from going any further. He softly pulled me back and quickly, I found myself with my back against the wall. He stood before me and put his lips on mine. An electric shock went through my heart, which started playing drums like a wild Pinkie.

It barely lasted. Already, his face was going back... He seemed to be both sorry and looking for my approval. I wrapped my arms around his neck and led him to me. This time, our kiss wasn't a chaste little caress. There was more pressure, more fever. We kissed without a break, in each other's arms, impatiently.

When we parted, we both were breathless, cheeks scarlet. But we were happy. With a burst of laughter, we ran to the door when, in the back, the elevator door opened and we were almost caught up in the act.

Slightly Scarlet

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I couldn't sleep. It was the first time I celebrated my birthday this way. In order to make it a red-letter day, my friends had organized something very special. There were a lot of students from CAM, an enormous cake baked by Pinkie Pie, unlimited drinks and I had received a shower of presents. I couldn't believe they put on such a great spread for me, although I kept on repeating that I knew I deserved it.

This was the reason why I couldn't sleep. I was too excited for that. Pictures of that awesome night kept replaying in my head. Yet our exams were coming closer and I had a lot to do on the day after.

Soarin was downstairs. Actually, I was in his bed and he was sleeping on the living-room's couch. Of course, he was at my birthday surprise party, which he helped organizing despite his ministerial schedule. Of course, we showed no one of my school that we were actually dating. We simply lied and said he was my former neighbor and we invited him out of sheer politeness.

As a birthday present, he invited my favorite author-explorer-turned-actress, A.K Yearling, aka Daring Do. Needless to say, I was her number one fan, having read every single books multiple times and saw the movies, that I knew by heart, over and over again. I didn't know, but she used to be under contract with Soarin's agent. We were introduced and she was absolutely positively AWESOME and the most amazing detail was that I think we became good friends. She even gave me her phone number. The others of the CAM were SO jealous. This too didn't help me to fall asleep. Daring Do's number was in my phone directory.Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!!!

Yet, I was starting to get used to my boyfriend being a celebrity knowing celebrities. The movie had been a smash hit, which wasn't a surprise. Press and journalists adored Soarin. I thought that was amazing he reached such a fame in so short a time. Of course, I could see him very less often than I did before that, but we always found time for each other anyway, so that was okay with me back then.

Five more minutes and I wasn't able to even drowse. I had to do something... When I was younger, mommy used to prepare me a cup of hot milk with a touch of honey in order to help me to sleep. Comfortable in my bed, I used to drink it while mommy told me a story from the "Tales of the Arabian Nights". Maybe that was the solution. I got out of the bed and ventured outside to go down to the kitchen.

Soarin now lived in this loft on Silk Street. It felt odd at the beginning, not to see him at the hostel anymore. To be honest, I missed this period of our lives. The room were small, the corridors narrow. We had to share sanitaries and the kitchen but life there was sweet. Like a huge all-year holiday camp.

He was sleeping on the living-room's sofa bed. I was happy his agent accepted that I spent the night here. I still coudn't believe it and I also couldn't help thinking it hid something else. Girls said I was imagining things but, I don't know... Funny thing, intuition.

I walked on my tiptoes towards the open-plan kitchen. It was easy to bump into things in the dark, especially when you're trying not to wake someone up. My unfortunated encounter with the coffee table which had me stumble made me fail in this task. Immediately, a shape emerged from the sofa and I could see Soarin, his hair messy, trying to identify where that sound came from.

"Dashie? What are you doing here?"

"I... I could't sleep and I was wondering if I could have milk with honey to help. Well, I know I'm not home but..."

I rubbed my knee which hurt and tried my best not to look into his eyes. I was embarrassed to be in front of him with this tee-shirt as my pajamas. With nothing to cover my legs.

"Did you hurt?" he asked, getting up.

"Barely. I can't even feel anything anymore. Solid as a rock. I'm sorry I woke you up. I'm going to go back there and try to get some sleep."

"No. Stay. Let's chat a little, that could help. We couldn't talk that much, in fact, tonight."

True story. I have been called from every side, as the superstar of the night. Everybody wanted to congratulate me, to toast with me... And when he introduced me to Daring Do (Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh) and talked together, I didn't really have time to make the most of his presence.

Even after, when we got there, we very quickly went to bed because it was late and we both had things to do the day after.

I was supposed to have some milk but I thought chatting with Soarin could be the perfect substitute. Forgetting about my embarrassment, since it didn't seem to bother him much, I sat on the mean coffee table, right in front of him. Something told me he'd rather have me sitting on his laps but I felt the need to put a bit of distance between us.

"Why is that you couldn't sleep?" he asked me, getting closer. "Is there something wrong?"

"The opposite. Everything's amazing. I never had a birthday like that since my stepmother died. You know, my dad had to work really hard so my five half-siblings could go to good schools and have the best education. He didn't have much for things as trivial as birthday parties..."

I wasn't trying to be a victim. I was only telling the truth. Soarin understood me because he also had a difficult life with his little sister being disabled. He knew what I was talking about, he knew how it felt when you had nothing, and suddenly, you had it all.

He took my hands. His fingers were warm. Our eyes met and a sigh escaped my lips. I don't know if he realized how his support was important to me. Knowing he was there despite his crazy life that he would catch me if I fell, like I would do for him.

I was so glad he was a part of my life and I was a part of his. The more I learned about him, the stronger my feelings were. He wasn't only handsome. He liked a lot of things and knew about a lot of things, he was patient and open-minded, a bit goofy sometimes but so endearing, so considerate and he also laughed at my jokes, watched old movies with me, with a real interest.

His hand now slipped under my cheek and I closed my eyes, pressing my skin against his palm. It was so pleasant I felt like boiling inside, ready to blow up. I knew I wanted more and soon, I got more. He put his lips on mine and I forgot all the rest. Where I was, why I was here, what time it was. I didn't want it to stop.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as his fingers plunged into my hair, massaged my head. This position lacked comfort so I didn't hesitate much and sat on his laps. No more thinking. I could feel that between him and I, there was nothing else than our both tee-shirts. I could feel the outlines of his abs against my stomach. I fed of him.

It wouldn't have taken much for the situation to change. I didn't know yet whether or not I wanted it, whether or not I was feeling ready or scared. All I knew was that I wanted him to be the first. I had never thought about it before that night but our kiss gave me this new certainty. When the time would come, I wanted it to be with him.

He probably was aware that things could go "wrong" since he stopped the embrace. He was breathless and the light of his eyes was different. He has thought about it to and it comforted me. I was not a pervert.

The Bachelor and the Bobbysoxer

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I liked the freedom after exams. When you know you're emancipated, that the hardest things are behind you and that within a few days, you're going to breath some fresh air. Exams were over and though we were still stressed about our grades, there blew a wind of newfound nonchalance. Pinkie Pie and I were finally able to do other things than locking ourselves up, working as if the future of humanity depended on us. We made the most of it because we knew it wouldn't last. Within two weeks, classes would start over again.

We were barely out of Starbucks, our coffee in our hands when my phone rang in my bag. I had to search through it a long time before I got it out. It was a brand new one, that I have bought thanks to my work for the magazine... Which I never really explained before. I was writing short stories for a teen fashion magazine, thanks to Rarity who knew the redactor-in-chief, although my short stories are never related with fashion and even rarely with romance - just because I lived one didn't mean I wanted to write one.

Taken by surprise, my eyes widened. This person never called me before. My throat clenched just reading the name on the screen. Quickly, I slipped my forefinger on the flat screen before I answred, under the ever so curious eyes of Pinkie Pie. On the other side of the line, resounded the voice of my school's Vice-Principal, the one and only Vice-Principal Luna.

"Hello, Rainbow Dash. Sorry to bother you during holidays but I need you to do me a favor."

One by one, all my clenched something relaxed. Obviously, she wasn't calling me for bad news.

"Of course, Vice-Principal Luna. What can I do for you?"

Frowning, Pinkie Pie slightly nudged my shoulder, as a sign that she wanted to know what was happening. I put a finger in front of my lips to make her understand it was important.

"We have a student, transfered from a university in Cloudsdale. She will be in the same classes than you in two weeks. All her family lives in Cloudsdale and she doesn't know anyone here. Maybe you could help her, since you're both from the same city. Is this bothering you?"

"Not at all. We'll take care of this. Is there anything else I can do?"

"Actually... Yes. If I called you, Rainbow Dash, it wasn't only because she comes from the same city, but also because she's going to live in the same youth hostel. Would you agree to meet her right now? She's probably nearly arrived now. Her name's Fluttershy."

A few seconds later, after many polite formulations, she hung up and I explained it all to Pinkie Pie. By chance, we weren't far from the hostel. Within barely a few stations, I would be at Castle Hill. Although the young girl could be there any moment now, we weren't particularly in a hurry. The weather was sunny, the sky was blue... That was only once in the train that we realized what her coming implied. She was going to introduce herself to me, we would probably talk a little in my room because she wouldn't have settled in hers yet.

It would have been no problem if I expected her visit. But I haven't expected it and what I used as a room was in no way a home sweet home, but rather a bachelor pad for the single guy I wasn't. I didn't put much efforts into cleaning my room since Soarin had his own place to live. This wasn't alright, if the new girl got the wrong first impression.

We started to run as if we had robbed a bank. Passersby, usually so stoic, were staring at us as we were bolting and tried to see what we wanted to flee.

Fortunately, the girl hadn't arrived yet when we pushed the glass door of my floor. Pinkie quickly went to check out if she wasn't in the kitchen or at the terrace, since there was no one in the manager's lodge. Then we started to do something out of the place I lived in. Socks in balls, laundry, books and DVD, everything got back to its place or ended up hidden inside the closet of the chest of drawers. We emptied the trashcan, made my bed, dusted the table, the chairs, the computer and the television. Once everything was settled, Pinkie Pie went to grab something to drink in the kitchen where I always left a bottle with my name on.

She barely had filled the paper cups with an orange liquid that someone knocked on my door. That was close. Pinkie and I exchanged a conniving smile, stunned by our luck and perfect timing. While I went to open the door, my best friend sat on my bed and smoothed an invisible pleat on her denim skirt.

In front of me appeared a thin and tall girl with very long baby pink hair in a ponytail. Her eyes are turquoise and huge. She smiled timidly and asked whether I was Rainbow Dash. She was the classical beauty who needed no make up to be pretty and displayed no apparent eccentricities. Her young and innocent style completesd the large fan of the diverse personalities of our bunch.

"I'm Fluttershy. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," I said stepping on the right to let her in. "This is my best friend Pinkamena Diane Pie, but everybody calls her Pinkie Pie, or just Pinkie. She's at the CAM too."

Fluttershy timidly came inside. Pinkie offered her generous big smile. She slid to my pillow while the new girl sat after she looked for my approbation. I took the additional chair I bought for when I played cello and sat in front of them. Silence reigned. None of us started the conversation. Our glass of juice in our hands, we stared at each other with a smile lacking natural, before her eyes slipped on the setting that was my room. Most of the things were hidden in the closet and I crossed my fingers for nothing to fall down.

The space there was already little when alone so it was almost impossible to have enough space to breath and move when we were three. Pinkie Pie lifted towards me a feet wearing too large plastic slippers she probably took in the locket for visitors and slightly kicked my ankle. I threw a glance at her and read on her lips she was advising me to do something quick.

On my small and broken nighttable I put my phone and a picture along with an alarm clock I bought online some time ago. It was a smart alarm clock which could also be used as a speaker and on which I could listen to MP3 music. Fluttershy put her eyes on it... And an enthralled smile appeared on her pale skin face.

"Is that a Talk the Tocky Touch alarm clock?" she asked with enthusiasm.

Now she finally talked, I could feel everybody loosening up. Pinkie threw one last glance at me and her eyes seemed to be telling me it was about time. I shared her opinion.

"Yeah, obviously. I never thought an alarm clock could be that expensive but hey, that works."

"I wanted one so bad but my mother never bought one to me. She said I'm already lucky she gave in to my whim of learning music."

"If you can save money, maybe you'll be able to buy one. Teachers sometimes have job opportunities for students."

"Oh, I don't know if I want a job. That would mean... speaking to a lot of people, right? Em... Do you also live here, Pinkie Pie?"

My best friend chuckled, shrugging. She seemed to be monopolized by my alarm clock, I don't know why. Probably because she wondered why a mother would refuse to buy this to her daughter and most importantly, the price of the thing. She made her empty paper cup creak between her hands and threw it in the air, her slippers swinging at the edge of her toes.

"No, I could never live in such a shoebox. I live in a wide bedroom right above a pastry and it's much, much huge compared to this."

This time, I was the one slightly nudging her ankle before she did it too. In the end, she threw her empty paper cup on my head and burst out laughing. Meanwhile, Fluttershy was taking a closer look at my bedside table. My picture in a frame seemed to be her main focus. Oh boy! I forgot to take it off... I was with Soarin on this.

With a bit of luck, she wouldn't notice. While her behavior never was inappropriated, she tilted her head and frowned, taking an even closer look to the picture.

"Is that your boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"He's handsome," she said blushing.

I smiled kindly, hoping she would quickly find another topic to discuss. If she asked me his name and knew a bit about the "Greatest Show Off" franchise, she could guess I was dating an actor who supposedly was free. Nothing told me I could entrust her with such a secret.

"Doesn't he remind you of someone?" Pinkie added, her eyes quivering with excitation.

What the f*ck was she doing? She knew it was a dangerous topic and the least mistake could damage our story. I couldn't allow myself to let anyone know I was dating Soarin for now, especially as we did well hiding our couple.

"I'm not too sure... Is he famous or something?"

"Maybe... Weren't there theaters in Cloudsdale?"

"Of course, there are theaters..."

I was boiling from inside but Pinkie seemed to be very proud of herself. She stuck her tongue out of me when I gave her a look so dark my magenta eyes probably turned into royal purple. Fluttershy started to examine the picture again and I knew it wouldn't take much longer for her to understand the plot. I had to focus the conversation back to what she came here at first.

"It's pretty lame actually. Tell us already... Why did you decide to come to the CAM. Vice-Principal told me you were at a University in Cloudsdale."

Fluttershy took one last look at the picture, as if to make sure my boyfriend's face wasn't familiar to her and her attention returned back to us. Her eyes were still a little riveted above my shoulders as if there was something fascinating there, that deserved more attention than my awesome person.

"In fact, I was in a nearby university, in Rainbow Falls, where they had a class for music. But they wouldn't let me study tambourine at all and there were very little time bestowed upon music practice so I begged my mother to let me go in Canterlot though I'm very scared of all these people I'll have to talk to. What about you, Rainbow Dash? Why not staying in Cloudsdale?"

I opened my mouth... But had no time to answer since my phone started to vibrate on my bedside table. I apologized to the girls, stretched my hand to the smartphone. It was a call from Soarin, his daily call to have some news, like each time we couldn't see each other within many days.

I couldn't not take the call. My conversations with him were short but enough to fill me with joy. It was our private little moment that I always expected with great anticipation. It allowed me a break from everything else...

In a whisper, I told them I'd be right back and left the room. When I closed the door behind me, I heard Pinkie telling Fluttershy it probably was a call from my boyfriend. All I could do now was crossing my fingers in the hope that my snoopy best friend wouldn't decide to tell our newbie the truth about us. As usually, I answered by going back and forth in the corridor. Sometimes, I turned one way or another way and arrived in the computer room or on the terrace.

Our conversations on the phone always started the same way. Soarin asked me how I was and what I was doing.

"I'm great! No more exams... Our teacher asked me and Pinkie to welcome a girl from Cloudsdale who'll be studying with us. She plays tambourine. We were explaining stuff to her."

Obviously, I didn't tell him my best friend was trying, for whatever reasons, to let this girl guess I was dating him, the famous actor from "The Greatest Show Off" franchise. I wasn't sure Soarin would like that, despite how much he liked Pinkie.

"It's a good thing. Meeting new people is always a pleasure. Is she nice?"

"Nice, yeah, that's what defines her the most. She speaks very low, very low... Like that," I said, trying to duplicate the soft low voice of our new mate.

He was laughing on the other side of the line and I could picture him perfectly, with those bright green eyes rolling. I terribly missed him when he wasn't with me... Just the sound of his voice was enough to make my stomach buzz like a million bees. I wanted to hold him close... but I never told him, because I still was being me most of the time, and do you know my buddy, pride?

It wasn't that easy to love a famous someone. When, by accident, I heard other girls talking while looking at his pictures or videos, showering him with compliments though they know he would never hear them, I wanted to dash there and tell them he was with me. That was worse when I heard people say bad things about him and thought it was a shame I couldn't rush in and kick their teeth in! No one knew Soarin the way I knew him.

"You know... I really miss you right now, Dashie. It's tough."

"Well, I don't miss you at all..."

"Come on, Dashie!"

I heard a hubbub behind him. A male voice. Music. Girls screaming and laughing in the back. I wondered what he was doing.

"I can't wait to see you, you pain in the neck!"

Once again, he laughed.

"Can't wait as well. Soon, I'll be in the Trenderhoof's Late Night Show, would you like to go there with me? Backstage, I mean."

"Hm, I'll see..." (meaning, "of course"). "Where are you now?"

"In a mall. Improvised autograph session. Can you hear how the fans are screaming? That's... huge!"

One of the thing I liked the most about Soarin was that, even though acting has always been his dream, he wasn't dazed by celebrity. Conversely, he still was that guy discovering everything with marveled big eyes each time something he wouldn't suspect to happen, well, happened. He was always surprised, for example, to meet fans in front of his building. As if he didn't know what big machine he now was a part of.

Our conversation ended when his agent called him back to the session. He promised he'd call me back quickly and hung up. Once again, I had landed on the terrace where I sat, my bottom against the concrete floor. Back against the low wall and head leaning against the guardrail, I looked at the blue sky where a few clouds were rolling. Sun had started to set. I sighed deeply, feeling my lungs with air.

I couldn't gather enough courage to tell Soarin I was in love. I had this feeling for a while now but my pride always got in the way. Alright, I put up with the fact I sometimes was a little sappy inside when we were together but saying the words always made me feel like it wasn't myself at all. And yet, I wanted the words to come out. So he would know my feelings were true and that, whatever could happen, I would be here for him, ready to catch him with open arms.

I stayed here a little while, thinking about it all. I was feeling like a fool. Supposedly that's a sign you're in love. Indeed.

When I came back to my room, Pinkie and Fluttershy were still here, in the middle of a restless conversation. They had newly filled glasses of juice and mine was quietly waiting for me on my chair. My best friend's triumphant smile didn't look good to me, like, at all...

"Your boyfriend," Fluttershy started. "He's playing Diamond Lost in the new "Greatest Show Off", isn't he?"

This is going to be paid back very soon, Pinkamena Diane Pie!

============================================***===========================================

During TV shows recording, if I wanted to be in the audience, I could but in this case I was forbidden to go backstage. If I decided to go backstage, I was forbidden to attend the show from the audience. Both situation had advantages and inconviniences.

So, I was backstage. Although I got bored when Soarin was recording, I chose that solution. At least, thanks to my small badge accounting me as a staff member, I was free to circulate. No one was watching me.

What a funny world, show business! When you take a closer look at how things were going on, you always wonder whether this is organized in the slightest inches or the most horrible mess of the world. Rooms are filled with electricity. There are outfits, wigs, makeup everywhere. Stylists, PR attachés, producers, managers, assistants and set assistants, studio staff members, agent representatives, makeup and hair artists... Everybody runs, speaks loud, everybody's restless. Looks like a beehive.

And I was in the middle of all this, sucking in sounds and movements. They all seemed to find this atmosphere completely normal when they all looked like they were lunatics in a mental institution, in the middle of recess. Pinkie would be like a worm in an apple in such a place!

When it finally annoyed me, I went out to walk around the corridors. There were still people running around as if the world were spinning without them but the feeling was slightly different. I left the green-room, hands in my pockets, walking nonchalantly, not paying attention where my feet were leading me. From corridor to corridor, door to door, even if I got lost, I always found my way back. TV studios are nothing but a huge maze where all paths lead to the set. Once you found it back, all you have to do is to get on with the flow in order to get back to your green-room.

I wandered along the halls and around me, some mystical tension had taken over everything and everyone. The recording was falling late and technical problems were piling up. It looked like our House of Parliament in the middle of a war council, as if the fate of the world depended on the overcharging of schedule. And, a bit in a haze, I bumped head on into someone emerging in front of me at top speed, so fast even I hadn't seen her coming.

In the impact, the items she was preciously holding against her chest splashed around us. Then, flew an amazing number of beautiful glazed paper pictures and a whole pile of CDs fell at our feet.

Immediately, the person I bumped into muttered apologies and scrouched to pick up the treasure. It was a girl, with curly grey violet hair moving along her head. She was standing on sparkly high-heel shoes, dressed with a tight dress revealing a skin even paler than mine. I was feeling stupid to watch her in action, standing like a puppet. I got together and leaned over to help.

She already had gathered all the CDs under her arms. I stretched out my hand towads the pictures behind me and picked them up silently. She was on them. Pictures in a very elegant black and white. She was pausing like some superstar, with a long white and pink wig falling in cascade upon her shoulders, dressed in black with high-heel shoes like the ones she was wearing right now, legs half-flexed on a black leather couch. She was so beautiful I felt like a ugly little rainbow octopus in comparison.

The young woman smiled at me, a very bright smile and although she didn't look familiar, I told myself that, maybe, she was famous. Once she had gathered a satisfying stack, she pat the pictures against her laps and put them on the pile of CDs.

"Yeah, that's me on the pictures... Pretty awesome, right?"

I simply said yes and picked the last remaining cliches, a bit further. She sat up, dusted her dress. It was very short and the jacket she put on her shoulders was barely hiding a huge low-cut. When I gave her back what belonged to her, she smiled again, with a smile as bright as the sun.

I didn't know her. I didn't even know her name but she already appeared to me as rather cool.

"Thanks for helping me... I was out of the ladies' room and in a hurry and I haven't seen you coming."

"No harm. I wasn't looking neither."

"Well, I guess we're even then. Name's Coloratura but my pseudonym is Countess Coloratura."

"I'm Rainbow Dash."

She told me she had a pseudonym but I swore I never saw her face before. Very famous girls are impossible to miss. Their faces are everywhere, in the newspaper stands, on television, on the huge posters of the subway's walls, as muse of a luxury brand, sometimes even on your food packages. Even though you don't know the names, you can't escape the faces.

But Coloratura, or Countess Coloratura, she wasn't familiar at all to me. Yet I knew I wouldn't have forgotten such a face.

Her green-blue eyes lowered on the plastic square hanging on my chest at the end of a purple cotton thread.

"Are you a set assistant?" she asked me with a more high-pitched voice.

"Not exactly... Let's say I'm someone's support."

Despite my good impression, I couldn't allow myself to tell her the truth about why I was here. Though she said she was a star, leaks could come from anywhere, and trust had to be given with cautiousness. I didn't want to make any stupid blunder.

My poor explanation seemed to be enough for Coloratura who, just like that, I had started to walk with towards the snake pit. I didn't know why I was following her. I didn't know her after all and just because we said each other name didn't mean I thought she needed an escort or whatever... However, conversely to myself, she had no badge on. Accessing this kind of popular TV shows was very complicated. How did she manage to come in?

Quickly, she brought a clarification to this.

"I'm here to visit my former manager. He now takes care of this girlsband with I don't know how many girls, you know."

"Why do you need to see him?"

"Oh, but I don't need it," she said, her chin up with pride. "I want to piss him off! He told me no record company would ever hire a girl with my voice. He didn't want me in his sh*tty girlsband... Well, I'm going to show him. I've been hired by a music company and within a few weeks, I'll make my debut. She who laughs last laughs the longest. You don't know which green-room he's in, by any chance?"

"No, I'm sorry. I only know one..."

Upon these words, Soarin dashed towards me. He was dressed in white and still had his strapped to the buttonhole of his blazer and didn't bother with caution. Right under Coloratura's eyes, though she could as well repeat everything to the press, he fell on my neck and held me close. I was so surprised I couldn't even react at all.

"Where were you? When I saw you weren't in the green-room anymore, I was so worried..."

"I just went out for a walk, nothing special. You do know I'm not made of glass, but of steel, right? Yeah, I'm Superman!"

Beside me, Coloratura did her best to stay in the background, touching her hair and looking away but this clumsy attempt made her even more noticeable. She could have gone away when she saw Soarin arrive, leaving us alone not to bother or I don't know what, but she stayed in the middle of the corridor with us, as if she were expecting something. My boyfriend noticed her suddenly and parted from me, blushing. I heard him clearing his throat and asking her how she was doing. I was dumbfounded. Did they know each other...? And Soarin explained me they auditioned for "The Greatest Show Off" at the same time. It made me feel curious. I thought she was a singer, not an actress.

They both talked for a short while. Coloratura congratulated Soarin for his perseverance and for his role in the movie. She thought he deserved what was happening to him and I rather agree. All along, Soarin kept his arm linked to mine and I often saw Coloratura's eyes drifting down to it. Each time, it outlined a smile on her round pale face.

When my boyfriend asked her what she was here for, she didn't lie. Apparently not ashamed at all, she explained she came to shake her future success under her former manager's nose, with the excuse that she was part of his band's staff, with things to give to him. This was how she had a badge that she kept in the pocket of her jacket.

This girl had grit. It confirmed my thought about her. She was really cool, tough and fun, with a firm temper.

Coloratura took one of the CD's blocked under her arms and gave it to us.

"Here. These are my first single first press edition. It's going to be out for sale within a few weeks so I stole some copies that I gave away to the fans waiting outside. Same thing with the pictures. These are copies for you two..."

Soarin got back his CD with an amused smile and thanked her. She had a little something which reminded me of Pinkie Pie and I liked that.

Emperor of North Pole

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I'd been askd to stay here and wait. So I stayed and waited. In the green-room, there was the same restlessness than the only one time I went on a TV set with Soarin. Yet, tonight, I was feeling more than bored. I was scared. Me, Rainbow Dash. Why? Filthy Rich, Soarin's agent, wanted to talk to me and he said it was important.

I never met him before and he never asked to see me. It'd been almost a year now that Soarin and I were dating, almost one year since he became famous. And in this amount of time, nothing. Not a word about me, not a question. We were cautious, we did everything right. Each time I tried to check out whether we could have acted badly, I saw nothing.

It wasn't planned for me to be here tonight. The previous night, Soarin called me to tell me I had to go to the TV studios, so I could meet his agent. Himself didn't know the reason why.

When I'd arrived here, the staff had welcomed me though they never paid attention to me before. I'd been told to go to the green-room number six and to wait for Soarin who wasn't there.

I'd sat on the chair I was still on, and I waited. I waited but I didn't know what. No one told me anything. From the ajar door, I could see celebrities passing by and behind them, a whole army with brushes, towels, bottles of water. They got rid of the mics, fixed the haircuts, the makeup, while managers and agents were twisting and turning even more than the assistants.

What a strange world. An artist is never alone. Entire shoals of persons are around them, find something to tell them, ask them, order them. I've always been convince this wasn't made for the weaks. You have to be warrior material. Able to swim against the current, in a huge ocean infested with sharks of all kind.

Soarin emerged from the mass, a white towel around his neck and a bottle of water in his hands. He didn't smile at me and I saw his throat vibrating. I didn't smile neither and swallowed the same way.

"You coming? Mr. Flithy Rich wants to see us right now," he stated with a monotonous voice.

"But you... Can't you change clothes first?"

"He said right now."

When I got off my chair and started to follow him, his back already turned in direction of the now opened wide door, I felt as if I were stared at from behind. Each of my steps were as heavy as a bag of cannonballs. Soarin didn't say a word, only walking around like some cat, his body agile in front of me, like he wasn't as clenched as a boxer's fist.

I joined him in a few strides. Still, we didn't utter one word and to act kind of normally, he couldn't stop drinking large water sips from his bottle. I didn't even know where we were going. My hands were damp and even if I wiped them against my jeans, it didn't change a thing.

Soarin stopped in front of a door that didn't look any different from the other doors of the studio. Yet my heart was thumping just to think about what was going to be said behind that door. I could see on my boyfriend's face that fear was what was making him so speechless. Holding his bottle, he was trying not to shake.

The door opened so suddenly I jolted. The man in front of us wasn't older than forty-five. Black suit, luxury leather shoes, a golden watch at his wrist. A natural authority exudes from him. Black eyes and brown hair. I hated him from the moment I saw him.

He scanned me from head to toe, emotionless. His eyes were like ice rolling over me, from my rainbow hair to my horserider boots. Only at the end of his inspection a flimsy smile appeared on his face. A smile that inspired no benevolence or sympathy.

"So, this is the young girl our dear Soarin is infatuated with... Nice to finally meet you, Rainbow Dash."

"Nice to meet you too."

Now if you could go down back to hell and never come back that would be very nice of you, a**hole!

His voice had been neutral and I couldn't detect any intention. Yet, I was disturbed by his choice of words. It more or less implied that our story was nothing but a phase, some kind of summertime love, vanishing into thin air as soon as the fall comes.

Filthy Rich moved aside, his arms opened to the inside. Though I was expecting to see the usual snake pit, the room was empty of any soul. This surprising absence only increased the lump in my stomach. I walked in with an unseen shyness, daring not to brush anything in case I'd break something, afraid of seeing something I shoudn't see and I could hear my heart still thumping against my chest. The door was closed behind me and made me feel like I had fallen in a trap.

He sat on a comfy white sofa in front of which there was a coffee table with glasses of champagne along with sweet potatoe chips. Needless to say that I didn't want to eat or drink that at all. In front of the table, there were two armchairs, white as well. Like two real goofballs (that we were), Soarin and I stayed standing.

He slid two of the champagne flutes in front of the armchairs and told us to sit. We obeyed without a word. While he calmly sipped on his own glass, we were still tensed. I discreetly wiped my palms against my pants and still I was unable to get rid of the sweat.

Without further ado, Filthy Rich got a tablet out of his bag and put it in front of us. On the screen, there was the web version of a celebrity magazine, with a picture. On the picture, the main cast of "The Greatest Show Off" were out of an autograph session and behind them, in the middle of staff members, my face appeared clearly.

"This was published yesterday, late at night. Of course, Soarin is with the others but you can't ignore you got an appearance that draws attention and fans, nowadays, are able to find even the name of former classmates of even members of the staff. Fans nowadays can find whatever they want, as long as they think that's interesting or will get them views and reactions on SNS. If one of them, only one of them, decided she wanted to know who's that girl with the rainbow hair and shows the results of her investigation on the net, this piece of information can totally turn viral in less than a day, and I let you imagine the results..."

Suddenly, Soarin's hand grabbed mine. I glanced at him briefly. He was straight and brave but I knew that inside he was like the boat at the end of "Titanic".

"Don't worry, I'm not asking you to break up. But I'm trying to limit the damages here. So, Rainbow Dash, from now on, you won't be allowed anymore to come to shows and autograph sessions and movie sets like you did before. And I'd avoid going to the Silk Street loft if I were you. Soarin's schedule is going to be very busy, anyway. He's going to shoot the new movie of the franchise, in New Zealand."

Filthy Rich's words finally made perfect sense. He hadn't asked us to break up, of course but he was going to do his best so I wouldn't see him often. I was no fool, I knew distance was what smashed couples. Shooting in a foreign country, with a different time zone... It didn't exactly sound "romance".

I lowered my eyes and my free hand grabbed the champagne flute that I drank in one gulp. Beside me, Soarin couldn't let my hand go and squeezed it so much my flesh turned blue.

I'd like to leap on the coffee table and gently staple things on Filthy Rich's head. I'd like to kick his butt, to make him cry and recognize I was his master and he would now yield to the every desire of Super Awesome Rainbow Dash. But above everything, I'd like to tell him to f*ck himself and that we didn't have to obey any of his orders because he was a jerk and we no one was obliged to obey to jerks in his kind, and if he could give me his golden watch so I could pay myself a trip to Hollywood and visit Cecil B. DeMille's house, that would be nice.

A few minutes later, the conversation was already finished and we left the room. I hadn't said anything I was fantasizing to say and neither had Soarin, who only greeted him with due respect. Tomorrow, around three and a half, he had to be at the bus station and that was going to be the last time I could accompany him.

A High Wind in Jamaica

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I slowly opened up my eyes, dark spots dancing in front of me. My body was numb. Last night came back to my mind, our conversation with Filthy Rich and what happened after, when Soarin and I decided to go to this hotel room we were still in, what we almost did and why we hadn't done it.

Under the blankets, Soarin twisted and turned but never opened his eyes. He only groaned and hid under the pillow. One second later, everything stopped moving. His breath was regular but he was frowning. I didn't know what time it was but I couldn't wake him up.

I watched him sleep, wanting to smile and to scream from frustration at the same time. The moment when we'd have to part was coming nearer. I knew it wasn't a break up and I had to be patient but still I was bitter.

Yesterday, we were thinking, naive, that we were doing things the right way, with enormous caution. All it took was one picture, only one picture where my face was clear, though I wans't even intimate with him. And everything took a new turn.

I sighed, stretched out my hand. I stroke his cheeks, his hair, trying not to wake him up in the process. We didn't have enough moments like this one. I could have made the most of it, stop believing we had all the time in the world. Now I didn't even know when we could even be together again.

What was the point? Repeating it would not change a thing. It was like that and that was all. It was nothing like me to play the poor victim, wailing on her destiny. So I decided I would be strong. I would go forward, anyway, because this was sad but this wasn't the end of the world. I had things in life that I liked and that didn't evolve around Soarin. If I focused on them, I could take that challenge with my head up.

My phone vibrating cut me off my reflections and I dashed towards the bedside table. It was Coloratura, who I had more or less befriended with. Some strange force told me to pick this call up. That she was the exact person I needed.

"Hello, Dashie?"

Her voice was cheerful. She had debuted since we first met but since her record company was very small, her path to glory was a bit difficult.

"Sorry... Soarin's sleeping beside me," I whispered

I glanced at the shape that was lying under the blanket. From here, he looked so peaceful yet I knew his sleep, like mine, had been restless.

"Oh, I see. Maybe I'll call later, then..."

"Actually, he leaves for New Zeland later this afternoon, so..."

My voice broke. As if it wasn't enough to be asked to stop seeing each other like before, they had to send him a thousand miles away to make sure we wouldn't do anything wrong. Picture that, if we met someone by accident who understood he wasn't the single superstar whose heart belonged to his fans, what a shame!

I couldn't help feeling angry. Even if I knew it wouldn't change a thing.

"Is there something wrong?" Coloratura asked, worried.

"Everything's wrong!"

I was unable to lie. I couldn't fake it and say everything was perfectly fine. It wasn't. I wanted to smash things against the wall, I wanted to get into a fight, to burn a car in the backyard, "Waiting to Exhale"-style.

"Okay, listen to me... How about having a drink with me tonight?"

"I don't want a drink."

"Oh yeah, you want a drink. But you don't know it yet, that's all. Trust me."

I looked at Soarin again, still under the blankets. I needed a shoulder to cry on. Someone who would understand because they were part of the strange world called show-business.

"Fine. Can't do me any wrong."

"You're my savior! I don't know anyone here and to be honest, I'm supa dupa bored. Seems like I won't drown under promotions and schedules yet, uh... Well. Tonight around eight, exit three of Cosmpolitan Town?"

"Yeah, sure."

A few minutes later, I put my phone back on the bedside table.

I slipped myself under the blankets and held him in my arms. Immediately, he embraced me and opened his eyes. His lashes fluttered. I tried a smile but instead of smiling back, he buried his face against my chest... We had to stop behaving as if there would be no tomorrow. Things weren't over yet. No big deal.

He suddenly went back to me and, without warning, pinned my shoulders against the mattress. I looked up as he positioned himself on top of me, his lips on my lips. Without further thinking, I answered the kiss with my hands in his hair. I didn't know what he was looking for and I didn't care.

A new phone call cut us off. This time, it was the hotel's phone. I gently pushed Soarin aside and picked it up.

I hung up a few minutes later and told him we were asked to leave the room before the end of the hour. Soarin didn't say anything, didn't even ask what it was about. All I know is that he wrapped his arms around me from behind, and kissed my shoulders, my neck. It was as if he was trying to hurt himself. We both knew all this tenderness would soon be forbidden. Maybe we should have parted right here and right now, not let pain and anger win.

But we both were unable of it. It was going to be an everyday fight. Like a rock mountain to climb, covered with dark clouds and we had no rope to help. Do or die and if you die, too bad. That meant you didn't deserve it.

===============================================***========================================

The sun was bright. Everyone in the streets were happy, carefree. Smiles on their faces, restless conversations, streets full of people. Canterlot the Great capital of Equestria.

Soarin and I were trying to do things like we always did. Because he kept sunglasses everywhere we went, some passersby looked at us with curiosity but they never insisted. In addition, he wore a beany and one of this surgery masks some put on when they're sick. We ordered Starbucks, walked hand in hand. Nothing seemed to be different.

Yet, we hadn't talked much. Not that we didn't want to talk but we didn't know what to say. If I opened my mouth, I was scared I would not be nice. I was a time bomb of bitterness.

I told him I would meet Coloratura in town tonight, to have a drink and he said he understood I needed someone like her to talk to. I also would be meeting Daring Do later in the afternoon. She wanted to see me and to introduce me to a friend of hers.

I wished I could stretch out time and make sure the day would never end. We were walking side by side but I knew the exact time we were supposed to learn what is a "long-distance relationship".

Though we haven't even said "I love you" to each other yet.

When we arrived at the bus station, one big car with tinted windows was waiting for him. Assistants were there too, with suitcases and other bags. During the journey to the airport, I guessed they would give him instructions about what to do next.

Unsurprisingly, I soon saw Filthy Rich appear in front of us. I could feel Soarin suddenly tensed. The man's shadow stretched on the ground, larger and taller than ours, as if trying to assert his domination. Each time I saw his face, I wanted to turn violent and to insult him. To let him know what it takes to upset Rainbow Dash, daughter of legendary Windy Whistles.

Yet, I greeted him. Soarin immediately let go my hand and stepped forward.

"I'm glad you're right on time, Soarin," Flithy Rich stated.

He also greeted him, with great politeness but coldness. Then, the big boss retreated and went to whisper things with one assistant. I knew what that meant. Though it wasn't three and a half yet, our ways had to part right now. I turned to Soarin. His feet wearing male ankle boots got closer to mine, with white sneakers.

He stretched his hands, took off his sunglasses, beany and mask. His two hands cupped my face and I had to bite my inside cheek not to let my frustration and rage show. I didn't want him to see the real state I was in. He would feel sorry.

"I know you won't cry because you're tough but you know... You could cry."

"I won't cry. It's not a disaster, just a little scratch on the road. I won't cry."

I tried to determine whether he agreed with me or whether he smiled at me just to make me believe he believed me.

But finally, I gave in and fell on his neck, holding him close, though no tears rolled off my eyes. He welcomed me without hesitation, pressing me strong. My face buried inside his chest, I held him in silence... And too bad if I looked stupid, sappy, or like a bad romantic comedy cliché while doing it.

We parted and Soarin let his sunglasses in my hand. I shook my head no, I knew it was his favorite pair, but he stepped back and closed my own palm around the black branches with a golden S. Someone opens the door of the car, hurried him up because his plane won't wait. My hands and legs were like jelly, with no peanut butter and no bread to hold it. He turned around, didn't look back and stepped into the car.

Clap! End of the scene.

=================================================***======================================

Orpheus was the son of Oegros and of the muse of Eloquence and epic Poetry, Calliopee. Apollo once gave him a seven-string lyra, created by a young Hermes and the Muses taught him how to play. Orpheus was so talented that he could apeased enemies with his music, as well as wild beasts and even the rocks followed him so they could keep on hearing him play. He charmed a lot of young women but none was good enough for him until he met Eurydice.

Crazy about her, he quickly married her but shortly after, while his young bride was dancing with nymphes, she put her feet on a venimous snake lurking in the grass and Orpheus was unable to save her. Also unable to face the death of his love, he decided to go to the Hells and to bring her back to the world of the livings. Thanks to the enchanted power of his music, he secuded Cerberus the dog, keeper of the Hells, but also Charon and the Three Judges of Death, he even softened the damned souls' tortures and reached the house of the god Hades and his wife Persephone.

He also was able to convince them, despite the fact Hades was known as being unsensitive and they accepted him to bring Eurydice back, at the condition that he wouldn't look at her until they left the Hells. Versions give different explanations about how or why, but Orpheus didn't managed to do it and turned around to look at Eurydice, thus losing her forever, as he couldn't convince Hades once more.

As I was walking with my back on the bus station, this myth came back to my mind. I thought that, the Hells were right here. I might have convinced Hades but if I ever failed, he would make sure I'll never see the person I love again. When I gave back my badge to an assistant of the agent, it was as if I had been Orpheus losing his lyra or the power of persuasion it brought.

I'd walked a long moment in the Canterlot streets. There was a strange feeling inside of me, like this wasn't me at all. What did happen to Rainbow Dash and where was she hiding?

Under the fresh sun of the end of winter, Soarin's sunglasses on my face, I'd walked non-stop with no music and no phone, until the bar where Daring Do told me to go. When I checked, I had only one message on my phone and it was from her: the mysterious person she wanted me to meet would probably be earlier than her.

Among the rare things we said to each other that day, Soarin confessed he was glad I could see Daring Do and Coloratura tonight, and talk to them about what happened. It comforted him to know I had support from people who would understand.

Located near Silk Street, the Mare on the Moon was the latest trendy bar. Their specialty was raspberry wine. Despite the setting and the very modern architecture not different of the rest of the landscape, they do traditional food. That was where I had to meet Daring Do. She booked a table for three and I wasn't surprised when the waitress showed me a table isolated from the rest, at the first floor. What surprised me, on the other hand, was that the place was crowded. And the music very loud.

I told I wanted to wait the other guests before I ordered. From my table, I could watch the crowd. No one seemed to pay attention to what was around, people here were chatting without a care about the other tables. It probably was why Daring Do chose this place. Walls were white, with pop art paintings. Tables, chairs and the floor were all made of wood, just like the wide window frames. A dimmed light made you feel like you were alone among the crowd.

I had no idea who that person supposed to join us could be. She hadn't told me anything. All I knew was that if that person didn't arrive quickly, I was going to start thinking about Soarin and Filthy Rich and would want to hit people again. So, thirsty and hungry, I grabbed the menue as a diversion.

"Sorry to bother you... Are you Rainbow Dash?"

I looked up to see who was calling me, though I guessed that was Daring Do's mysterious guest...

My eyes opened wide like pool balls. It Fire Streak, leader and guitarist of the band Lumiere. One of my biggest idols of the time.

The most amazing was that no one seemed to pay attention to him at all, though he was a mega superstar. I felt it was impossible not to notice him. Even dresed in plain shirt and jeans, his caramel and vanilla hair back on his head with a stubble tanning his cheeks he was inspiring respect, a bit like Filthy Rich but you didn't want to punch his face. Back then, I mean.

"Yeah, that's me. Are you Daring's mysterious guest?"

"Mysterious guest? You could say that. Can I sit with you?"

"Of course."

As soon as I gave my answer, he did so. I couldn't understand why Daring Do wanted me to meet Fire Streak. I didn't know what to say to him... Should I talk to him like he were nothing special or use a formal English? If yes, I was scared I couldn't do it and put Daring Do in an embarrassing situation. He was at least twelve or thirteen years older than me and of a very diffierent social background.

He glanced at the silver watch encrusted with diamonds on his wrist. I was feeling ridiculous with my sweater and my black jeans, toying with my boyfriend's sunglasses. He looked like a man and I didn't even feel that I looked like a girl. Despite my long hair.

"Have you been waiting for a long time?" Fire Streak asked me with a very self-confident voice.

"No, I've just arrived. Daring Do should be here any minute now."

"I bet she haven't even told you why she told me to come?"

In silence, I shook my head no. She hadn't told me anything. Fire Streak remained cordial with me, smiled at me benevolently though with a hint of condescendance, but still I felt awkward, unsure of how to behave. He probably noticed since he asked me not to be too much stressed and to act normally. That he was no one important.

Yet I was sure Fluttershy would be very impressed to hear I had a drink with a celebrity such as Fire Streak, since she was very fond of celebrities. In fact, I often chased autographes on her behalf.

I saw Daring Do emerging from the back of the room, her long monochrome hair tied in a bun. She was wearing a black ethnic dress with shoes which looked rather expensive and a while set of exotic jewerly.

Daring Do quickly spotted us and walked to our table with wide strides. When she saw me, still toying with the sunglasses, she displayed a sorry expression and her face looked about to crumble.

"How are you?"

A shadow went through her face and she let herself fall on one of the wooden chairs, like she were a bag of concrete mix.

"You look so mad... I'm really sorry."

I looked away for a few seconds, just so I could get my composure back and not scream at her. Yet, a deep sigh escaped my lips. Daring Do and Fire Streak looked connivingly at each other, but they had no time to say anything. The waitress had just arrived.

I let them order for me and they chose raspberry wine, of course, fried sweet potatoes and a spicy vegetable pancake for everyone. Once the interruption over, I knew they were going to tackle on the issue. The music was so loud we were sure no one would hear what we would say. Even if some recognized them, they wouldn't be able to report our conversation and since Fire Streak and Daring Do arrived separately, there were very little risks of rumors.

Fire Streak's reputation was already established anyway, and he had an age where scandals and rumors couldn't do much harm. Daring Do already had a fiancee and didn't risk much neither.

"You probably wonder why I asked Fire Streak to join us," she started.

"Indeed."

"You're going to understand. Fire Streak?"

He nodded, ready to throw the bomb. I wanted to hide until I'd hear Soarin was back from New Zeland. A strange feeling had me shivering. I knew I wasn't going to like what they were about to tell me. Their serious faces made me feel very much uneasy.

"Do you know who is Lily Lace ?"

"Yeah, she's a very famous fashion designer."

Fire Streak kept quiet while the waitress arrived with the orders. The pancakes looked delicious and I remembered suddenly how hungry I was. He resumed talking only once sure we were alone and no one cared about us. With the loud music, I was obliged to lean over and prick my ears.

"She hasn't always been in the fasion industry. She was an actress before..."

Then, came back to my mind the memory of an article about a famous actress turned fashion mogul who used to have the same agent than Soarin.

"She started to be famous a little bit after Lumiere's debuts. She was playing in a sitcom, a very popular sitcom targeting male teenagers. We met on a set, as we were guest stars on the show for one episode. Even back then, it was impossible to envision that the idol of young men from twelve to twenty would reveal to be dating so shortly after debuts. First, we dated in secret until we were caught by Filthy Rich, her agent then. Much to our surprise, he let us keep our secret though Lily was extremely popular..."

His speech tasted like deja-vu. Unpleasant and bitter. Like a bad remake of "Les diaboliques".

"He couldn't fire her or sanction her, afraid to lose his goose that laid golden eggs and his chance to impose his name in the show-business fly away. He let us be together, arguing our discretion was perfect. It wasn't like it is now, back then, you know, fans were organized differently since SNS weren't big at all, it was easier to keep a secret like this. Except... Paparazzi were still there. We have been dating for something like six months when one of them took a picture of us together. I had my back on the photograph, the picture was hazy and I was barely recognizable but that was enough for Filthy Rich to ask us to "take a break".
He didn't mean we had to break up but to stop seeing us so often. He gave Lily more roles, more advertisements, more photoshoots. I was forbidden to talk to her if we didn't have a TV show in common, forbidden to visit her place, forbidden to call her on the phone. We were giving each other letters via our staff members but even this finally went forbidden as well. We could only see each other in deserted parking lots, in the middle of the night, outside the city. My bandmates kept on telling me to leave her, that I could had as many girls as I wanted. I had no support from anyone. Same thing with Lily. He waited for us to yield... We finally broke up and she went through a depression. Finally, she was so disgusted she decided she couldn't take it anymore and she wanted to stop acting and be in the fashion industry instead..."

His speech over, I lowered my head and stared at the pancake in my plate. Daring Do's worried eyes hadn't left me since Fire Streak started to speak, as if she wanted to see my face clench at each words. I suppress a chill, a cold sweat down my spine and I swallowed a few sips of raspberry wine. The delicious taste brought me a bit of comfort.

Someone stretched a hand along the table. I looked up. Daring Do was staring at me, even more sorry than she was when she arrived.

"Don't worry. You're stronger than Lily has ever been and you have support. There's Fire Streak and I and I heard you were friend with that singer, Countess Coloratura. Don't worry for Soarin, neither. Sandalwood and Sunset Shimmer will be here for him, they're his best friends. Everything's going to be fine."

"Thanks."

Daring Do smiled comfortingly at me. But I saw her lips were trembling and Fire Streak had been very sad when he told his story. They said they were here for me and I believed them. But they were a bit too dramatic for me. It couldn't be that bad, and as they said, I was strong. I'm still strong. Just a little tired. Like I was going to go through the Hells without a lyra and no garantee Hades would show sensitiveness.

=================================================***======================================

Welcome in Countess Coloratura's world. Far from the trendy setting of the Mare on the Moon, its pop art paintings, its wooden table and its dimmed light, she brought me to the Daybreaker Pub, in the well-known area of Cosmopolitan Town.

Cosmopolitan Town, it's like another universe, with other codes, other pathes and other views to explore. On the large main avenue, restless day and night, many languages and origins are meddling.

At the Daybreaker Pub, Coloratura and I chose to sit in front of the counter. As a contrast to the Mare on the Moon, where everyone stayed in a private space, strangers and friends were meddling, talking together as if they always knew one another.

Coloratura was here in clover. She attracted eyes effortlessly and she behaved as if nothing were important. Waiters called her by her name, she knew theirs too, spoke to everyone talking to her and burst out laughing easily, loudly.

She ordered two tankards of beers, one hamburger and grilled red curry carrots with fries. I thought all female celebrities had to be on diet...

"My record company is very small, I don't even have a manager yet. So I can do whatever I want," she confessed to me when I asked the question.

In reality, in her record company, the CEO wasn't deciding for Coloratura, it was Coloratura who decided for them. Her boss was a young man of thirty-five who didn't know anything about show-business. For him, being the head of such a compay was more like a hobby... And if, by the way, he could win a bit of money, then that was a good thing. Compared to Soarin and his agent, TrendHorse looked like a permanent fun fair.

Naturally, we started a conversation about my main problem. Filthy Rich and the crime that was mine, my goodbye with Soarin and my meeting of Fire Streak and everything he told me. How history seemed about to repeat.

And her reaction quickly arrived. Coloratura hit her tankard against the counter, a few golden drops splashing around.

"What a bastard!"

Her voice whipped the air. Out of her green-blue eyes, bolts were exploding. She looked even angrier than I could be.

Of course, I understood why she was so outraged. I was outraged too if I would also be in her shoes, picturing one of my friends, any of them, in that same situation. I wished I could scream how unfair this all was but I held back because I knew that would be no help.

Whatever, since Coloratura expressed it for me.

"He can't do that. Who does he think he is? He thinks we're a bunch of dogs in a leach with no right to speak?"

I almost wondered whether she was talking about Soarin or about herself.

"You gotta do something. Don't tell me you won't do anything!"

"What do you want me to do? Soarin's under contract, so Filthy Rich has the power. He tells him what to do, where to go and who to speak to."

"But you haven't sign anything. You don't have to obey."

"I am bond to him, anyway. By Soarin. I don't want us to break up."

"See, that's why I refuse to become attached to men. All you get when you're in love are hassles."

"It's nothing you can control, Coloratura. Trust me, I've tried."

"Of course you can. It goes wrong from the moment you think this guy is great and you'd like to know him better. After that, you get committed and when you get committed, you suffer. There's no exception and if someone tells you it's wrong, this person lies."

Maybe Coloratura was right. Getting committed in a love story always implied complications and complications led to suffering. Most of the time.

Where the Sidewalk Ends

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Never again had I seen this place so crowded. Although you think you're used to it, each time you're confronted to the truth, you realize this is real life. They all came here to see this person you know so well, and for them that person is like a foreign deity, a picture impossible. For you, that's just the goofball you're in love with.

A large dais had been raised. Barriers were put all around in order to precise this event was reserved to a certain part of the population. In front of our eyes, down the dais watched by security men in black, the crowd of privileged fans and others stretched out of my field of vision and the persons around ended up looking like smashed berries in a tiny can.

Yet nothing could attack my sunny mood. Yeah, this day was even sunnier than any other Spring days. I was going to see Soarin again.

He and the main cast of "The Greatest Show Off" were signing a special edition of the DVD of the first movie. It wasn't alvailable yet but it was possible to order it in advance within the scope of this special day. They probably didn't know it would be so successful. The DVD already was out of stock even before its official publication.

Rarity and I had received one copy of it, coming from Soarin and Sandalwood, whose goal was different than my boyfriend's. They had a few occasions to meet and each time, sparks flew between them. Everyone knew they were fond of each other but they never could admit the truth. Maybe that was about to change but if I had to be honest, I had other things in mind.

The sun was at its top and made me frown. In a regular basis, phones or cameras raised above the crowd and their clicks were meddling with enthusiastic declarations of love.

I wanted to control myself but I couldn't. I stretched my neck as if I were my turtle Tank - he lives in Clousdale with my "family". We were finally almost there. From down the dais, in the new wave of impatient fans ready to meet their idols, I finally could see him... Yet, his eyes that I was barely able to distinguish from where I stood were stuck in my direction.

Casually, I fixed my hair. I swallowed a gulp of my bottle of water. I tried hard to get a composure so that no one would guess that I wasn't a common fan. I never had anything common, anyway.

He was the second person in front of who you had to go in order to get an autograph. Sandalwood was the first. This predestined disposition allowed us to act without suspicions. When I was going to appear in front of Soarin, it would be Rarity's turn to get a sign for her DVD. This way, whatever they wrote to us, no one would knew except us since only two persons at once were allowed on the dais.

When I finally was face to face with him, it has to be said that I hadn't seen him for two months. Two months without a call, without a Skype session, nothing. He didn't even have an Instagram account. I wanted to ask him how he was doing, I wanted to do so many things that I had to keep inside of me. That was a good thing that I already was very good at keeping things inside of me, because I hate that when strangers are able to see right through me. I'd rather be a mystery...

Like all the others, he smiled at me. Though it looked like his usual "fan" smile, I knew that smile was different. That was the one that he only gave to me, when we were together in a room. Face to face, with no one around. He asked for my name, for the scene had to be perfect.

On the frontpage of the booklet inside the box of this Special Edition, instead of the usual inscription, with a nervous hand and a few spelling mistakes though I knew he never made any, he asked me to meet him in one hour in one of the alleys close to the main avenue, the one with a closed restaurant at the very back, the narrowest of them all. I wished we could touch...

The moment was too brief and already I was gone. I didn't know what Sandalwood told Rarity and I didn't ask, well, not while we were where we were. Here I was, frustrated again. Everything looked paler, less exciting. I was suddenly aware of how unsually hot was the spring, of how uncomfortable it had been to be tight inside that thick crowd and of what all those girls fantasied about when they were in front of the boy I was in love with.

The hour went on slowly. Second by second, minute by minute. Waiting never been my forte, I was born impatient (two weeks in advance). And on this day, it was the worst of all the waiting hours of my life. Like I didn't know what to do with my own body. I, Rainbow Dash, the Queen of all Sports.

I got off the stairs I was sitting on as soon as I saw him and I flew in his direction. I knew what risks we were taking. In these apartments and restaurants along the alley, there could be anyone, even fans who went to the autograph session. But that was a risk we were willing to take.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and our lips sealed in a discontinued kiss.

"On the letter you sent with the DVD, you said everything was arranged so we could meet somewhere, but you didn't mention it would be here..."

He held me in his arms, embracing me completely, as if he was trying to cover my whole body. I buried my face against his chest, breathed in his perfume. I wanted to print this moment in my mind, for when I'd get bored (and I get bored easily). It felt as if I was awake but in a strange dream, half-real half-unpredictable.

"There was a change in the plans. Too much people, it's too dangerous. But let's not care. I'm here now. I have ten minutes."

Ten minutes. Ten f*cking minutes. I needed and wanted more but I had to be satisfied with it, to think that ten minutes was better than nothing at all.

Words we were saying were atrociously common and had nothing of the romantic flight that could be expected from a couple like us, the star-crossed lovers of downtown Canterlot. Flowery declarations and beautiful words were good in books and movies, with characters bigger than life. But I was no Scarlett and he was no Rhett Butler. So, instead of talking, we kissed.

The worst with kisses was that, then, time went by too quickly. He was barely with me again that already, I knew we had no other choice than to part. We had to go back to the path we drew for each other. Our lives was waiting for us. The life we had out of us two, the one that also made us complete. Soarin and I we never been the type of couple to think that the main focus of our existence was our relationship. Our relationship was part of a whole. But don't get me wrong, we considered we were important to each other even so. Only, we knew we also had to give energy to the other things we liked about life.

"I have to go, or my manager's going to look for me."

"When will I see you again?"

Our hands were sealed. I could feel a sting in my eyes, but I did my best, as always, to swallow back the tears. I always try not to cry in front of people so they wouldn't see and exploit my weakness. But the reason why I never cried in front of Soarin was different. I didn't want him to feel sorry, or guilty.

"I don't know. Soon, I promise. I'll do my very best for that, alright?"

We were running out of time. Reluctantly, I stepped back. Our palms were still touching but already getting away. We didn't even have time for one last kiss. But it was better this way. No more room for regrets, we had to get on with our lives now.

"See you soon," he whispered.

"You'd better," I answered with a wink, trying to sound as if I were okay.

Our fingers parted and, without a look behind, I saw him running away from the alley, this alley that before meant nothing special to us and was now an odd memory, bittersweet in the most literal sense.

The Man with the Golden Arm

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The darkness and tranquility of this room didn't help me to find some sleep. In a few hours only, Rarity's alarm clock was going to ring. Last night, she invited me for a sleepover and I had to suffer mud packs and hours of nail care. But it was okay, at least it allowed me to think about anything else than my issues.

I tossed and turned in the huge bed I shared with my friend and I watched her sleep for a short while. Her peaceful figure slowly outlined in the dark. She looked calm, which was a complete contradiction with the muffle anxiety that was shaking her from inside and a smile I couldn't control appeared on my face. I've always envied her perfect features, her silky hair and her wide dark blue eyes with very long curved eyelashes. Her ability to always appear fresh in the morning, when I was a complete mess whenever I took a nap.

I turned around again, offering her my back. I could barely hear her breathing against the mellow pillows of her bedroom, like the one of a luxury suit. One more minute flew by, red figures of the alarm clock clearly floating in the dark. I couldn't help wondering whether Soarin was asleep like Rarity or whether, like me, he couldn't find sleep.

I counted months separating us, weeks, days, hours if not minutes. Soon it was going to be five months since the autograph session. If nothing changed quickly, we would had spent more time apart than in our relationship.

We weren't asking for what was impossible. We only wanted a few free hours from time to time, not that much, and even if it was only to hear the sound of his voice and to tell him silly things.

Once, Soarin and I went to the restaurant where we ate together for the first time. It was scalding hot outside, with blurry horizon and nothing to cool the air, not even the start of a breeze. Mrs. Sugarcoat had turned on an old fan in the back of the room and it was snoring and almost covered the sound of the television.

Soarin couldn't stop pulling his collar with a sigh and though I had a summer dress on, I kept on feeling sweat along my back. It was impossible to eat something hot with such a weather. Instead of my usual vegetable sausages soup, I chose a huge salad and fallafels. Soarin chose a spicy baked beans with green curry, a choice I couldn't understand.

Regularly, I could see him cursing because the sauce burned his tongue and the curry was too hot. Mrs. Sugarcoat always spiced her hottest dishes a bit too much and he knew it, yet he decided to have this, which was one of the dishes he loved the most.

"Why did you take this if you know it's very spicy and you won't be able to eat it all because of that?"

"Because it tastes very good," he answered, the corner of his eyes wet. "How the ingredients are mixed together, everything... You know, it's addictive. Even if you do know how hot it is, you can't help but ordering that anyway."

I didn't think I would remember that very common conversation. In fact, I had forgotten about this day until it suddenly popped back into my mind. First, I couldn't understand why I had this particular memory back at this exact moment.

But slowly, I got it. One of the most amazing thing about human brain is that it's able to keep a lot of information buried, to stock them in our minds and make them reappear at the right moment.

Our love story was a bit like cooked beans with green curry. At the beginning, it sounded like an inappropriate choice but the ingredients had a taste that turned it addictive. That pleasure, however, was a little masochist. It went hand in hand with an unpleasant sensation burning your throat. Despite this annoyance, you knew you couldn't help getting back to it. Even if you knew it was spicy hot, you also knew it was all worth it, if only for the brief moments of euphoria when the good taste would touch your palate.

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The basses were rumbling through my ears. Whenever you looked at, there was a crowd and the space between people was none. Hands were up in the air, while hundreds and hundreds of feet were beating time.

Welcome to the Queenie Yacht club, one of Canterlot's must famous and most spacious dancefloors. It never emptied and at its rush hour, it was able to gather something like three hundred souls. Here, everything was glittery. Ordinary life just wouldn't do, you needed to be noticed among the crowd, despite it being sickly thick.

Each time I was feeling blue, each time I was growing too frustrated and impatient, Canterlot's night had my back and made me understand life was the most important thing of it all. Little by little, I took the habit to go out clubbing on the weekends, with Coloratura.

Yellow balloons with smileys on were going from hands to hands, bouncing among the crowd. Blue, pink and white beams were sweeping the room, brushing everyone's heads and made the place looked almost unreal. Sitting on one of the leather chairs everywhere around the club, I tried to make contact with Coloratura. She'd been swallowed up by other people and once again, I lost her after another suitor had approached her.

We always arrived together but very often, she stopped worrying about me after a few drinks. Coloratura was popular with all sorts of men. From Adonises to men dressed in Italian suits with luxury watches. She even attracted women, buff of her porcelain complexion and her yoga-made curves.

I was supposed to be her bodyguard and avoid too many men to hit on her, but she never refused the presence of any of them. She liked to feel desired, to know she was attractive and to have many affairs. It wasn't in order to be loved, since she was worst than I was about love. She thought it only brought you problems and misery and I was starting to think she was true.

I wanted to be like her. I didn't want to live my life as a prisoner of hope, of memories, or expections, of anything else. I was hanging at the branches of my life and everything was good to take not to let the anger I felt winning over me.

I heard artists were better when a little tortured. As if to comfirm the saying, I was doing sports and most importantly, playing music all the time. Everyone around me said I had never played so well, sang so much in tune.

Finally, Coloratura reappeared in front of me. Her skin was flowing with sweat, rolling along her temps and sticking her curly hair to her skin, which even more attracted glances towards the deep low-cut of her sequin top that she wore without any bra. Beside her, there was a man with a white shirt and jeans. If Coloratura was liked by a large range of men, she always liked the same ones. Older than her, either quiet strength or toxic masculinity, those who'd be able to dominate her but that she dominated anyway, from her small 5'24 feet tall.

They kissed quite unromantically and the men left without a complain to get the drink she asked. He was barely out of the picture that already, another one came closer and whispered something in her ear. I couldn't hear what he was saying but something told me he wanted to see her later.

"What the f*ck are you doing?" she yelled at me. "Why aren't you dancing?"

"It's too crowded."

I grabbed the bottle of beer that I'd ordered earlier but no drop went into my throat and I put it back down, disappointed.

"You should get on the dancefloor, it's good sports too. Come on, I'll get you another drink."

"What about your BF?"

She shrugged, as if it was the least of her worries that this guy would be expecting something from her. Coloratura never got endeared with anyone, like ever. I was the first friend she had in years. Even in the musical industry, she didn't really rubbed shoulders with anyone, except maybe Fire Streak whom I introduced to her a few months ago. She didn't care about when her record company would finally be more active with her promotion, she didn't care about her reputation. She didn't care about anything, except her own rules.

She was right. Getting on the floor and dance would be some sort of exercise. I was going to plunge in the overpowering rhythm of the basses, in the cheerfulness of the place and once under the beam of lights, everything else would vanish away.

I followed her among the crowd, where we penetrated easily. Coloratura moved her hips with too much sensuality and immediately, all eyes were on her. All male eyes. I would never count, with my dancing moves a little too "hip-hopish" and never enough "feminine". I didn't care, I wasn't there to get hit on. I was there to have some fun.

Yet, among all those anonymous faces, I noticed someone. A boy I already seen before but couldn't quite situate. I was obliged to rack my brains... And suddenly, it hit me. I knew exactly where I had seen him before. I even talked to him once...

I apologized to Coloratura and get started what seemed to be an impossible mission (no, no references to movie, I don't like that franchise, sorry). I wanted to catch up this boy, an unexpected bridge between my reality and a certain past. I couldn't let him go because he was my only remaining connection with him.

We both were often stopped in our course. He seemed to be going in direction of the exit, which sounded rather strange. Everybody knew this was the best time at the Queenie Yacht club, the moment where the atmosphere reached its climax. I had to lay my hands on him before he would be definitely gone.

Many girls stopped him. I didn't know what they were telling him and I didn't know what he answered but I could figure out the content of their statements, because sometimes boy would stopped my progression for the same reasons. I received compliments about my body, I was asked for my number or if I wanted to dance... Even without that quest, I would accept none of the invitations. I was flattered, especially as it always seemed to me I was too much of a tomboy to attract any other boys than Soarin, but I would feel like cheating on him otherwise.

I didn't care about the others. I wanted Soarin and nobody else, like Marilyn only wanted Tony Curtis in "Some Like It Hot" (poopoopidoo).

Somehow, I was able to get out of the dancefloor but the boy had escaped. No more traces of him. He probably was gone and I had missed my chance to speak with him. I couldn't remember his name but I knew I hadn't mistaken and he was who I thought he was. A rookie actor with Flithy Rich as his agent. I saw him last year, at Soarin's birthday party and also at the backstage of a show, where he was hired as a staff member.

I felt exhausted after all that I went through, for nothing at all. Screams resounded behind me. Waitresses had climbed on the counters and were pouring alcohol directly into the mouthes of clients. An even wilder frenzy took over the crowd and the music sounded even louder, if that was possible.

I was going to need a drink and unfortunately, this wasn't the right time to get to the bar. Before I threw myself again in the snake pit, I needed a break. I couldn't go back there point blank, not after this disillusion.

In the women's bathroom, the house music of the speakers was muffled, covered up my various conversations yelled over it. I tried to isolate myself from this bubble. Instead of putting on lipstick or more mascara, like all the girls around me, I splashed cold water on my face. Probably that was why someone once invented waterproof makeup. I looked at myself in the mirror, under the pale light and my face was as red as a poppy. It was too hot in here!

I barely had stepped out that I had a glimpse of the boy I followed through the floor. He was going to think I was some sort of lunatic... But I had to try. I stopped him mid-track by the sleeve of his tee-shirt and as soon as he turned around, his face brightened up, which made me think he recognized me. And then, his name came back to my mind.

"Are you Cheese Sandwich? A rookie actor under contract with Mr. Filthy Rich?"

"A rookie standup comedian, in fact. Yeah, that's me. And you're... Soarin's girlfriend, right? I'm sorry, I can't remember your name."

"Rainbow Dash..."

"Oh yeah, Rainbow Dash. Very cool name. Did you want to know something?"

My intentions probably were clear. I was unable to conceal anything when it came to Soarin. I opened my mouth and felt female arms wrapped around my neck. Cheese Sandwich opened his eyes wide as he saw Coloratura hanging at my neck like some jealous girlfriend.

"I've been looking for you all over. Who's that guy? Does he piss you off?"

Coloratura barely adapted her personality and habits to the persons she was interacting with. Social status, age, everything that constituted the codes of decorum were whisked away with her and the only exceptions were when she was impressed by the persons in front of her (a very rare occurence) or if she knew she had something to gain.

"No... He's one of Flithy Rich's actors. Name's Cheese Sandwich."

She looked at him from top to bottom and there wasn't a spot of his body which escaped her examination. Standing in front of us, Cheese Sandwich was rubbing his neck, looking at her low-cut. I wouldn't have been surprised to see him blushing.

I wasn't sure whether he was his type of guy. He was tall but rather slender, no broad shoulders, his hair was curly and brown and his skin was olive, with big green eyes and an impish air floated on his face.

"Hey, good-looking! I'm Coloratura. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, nice to meet you too."

"Have you seen Soarin recently?" I asked, cutting of my friend's courtship ritual.

The question was sudden, if not a little abrupt, I know. I tried to hold myself back but I couldn't stand it for too long after I ran after him for so long. I hadn't forgotten yet that one of the reason why I was here was because I wanted to forget a pain buried inside by getting intoxicated with music and alcohol. I hadn't even heard the sound of his voice anywhere else than on television for at least six months.

"No, I'm sorry. He's like super busy shooting movies after movies. Maybe I'll see him at the Everfree Awards... I'll award a prize there."

I opened my mouth and closed it immediately. Words were failing me. He was my ultimate trump. When Filthy Rich announced us it would be harder now to see each other, I couldn't imagine how hard it would be. Even when Fire Streak told me about his painful story with Lily Lace, I didn't take into consideration the whole scope of the matter. Not only we couldn't see each other like AT ALL but any kind of contact was forbidden.

"But still, I can get your phone number. This way, if I know anything, you'll be the first to know. After me. There's no garantee, but... That's the best I can do."

A few minutes later, our paths parted. I had Cheese Sandwich's number and he had mine as well. It was a bit skylight, but it was one anyway.

Until it turned out not to be enough. Until too much emptiness washed the shore and drown me.

What Price Glory

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I hadn't even turned on the light. Nor the television and computer. Nothing. I could hear life resounding from outside. Steps in the corridor, doors opening, neighbors moving. Fluttershy knocked many times on my door but she finally gave up twenty minutes ago.

I kicked the blanket. Earlier, I got it over my face so the dark would be darker but now, I felt like I was choking from heat. Yet inside, I was feeling cold. I'd lost the count of the neverending ringing of my phone, fallen down from the vibrations.

Eight months. Eight months without a word from him, not even a letter. Only pictures in magazines, smiles that weren't addressed to me through the silver screen. As if I never existed, as if we never shared anything together. As if our kisses, our laughes, our silly conversations had been swept over by a storm and reduced to crumbles.

I turned around in my bed, my back numb from the same position for too long. I threw away the phone, unceasingly ringing, at the other side of the room and I heard it slam the baseboard under my desk. Though I still could hear it, I couldn't see it. I wanted it to disappear from my field of vision the way I'd disappeared from his life.

Because I wanted to be alone, I refused Coloratura's usual invitation and asked her to please leave me alone. I'd bought small bottles of vodka that I hid in my bag so the manager wouldn't see I was breaking the rule.

I'd started to drink a few hours ago already and I lost notion of time. Phone calls had started around the beginning of the night. Soarin. He probably had been called by Coloratura or I didn't know who. Altough I should had taken my chance to hear his voice again, I ignored the call. And the next one. And the next one. And the other ones after them.

The more Soarin called, the more I was drinking. I kept on drinking until my stomach screamed at me to stop. Lying on my bed where I lost notion of time even more. I couldn't get to answer. I know what would happen. I'd be relieved for a few minutes but as soon as his voice would disappear, rage would climb up in my throat again.

In reality, even myself couldn't quite comprehend my reactions. Deep inside, I was dying to pick it up, to hear the sound of his voice, but deep inside too, I wanted everything to stop. I wanted to close my eyes and forget about it all. I couldn't take it anymore, feeling that I was a tool in the hands of a man, a man I only met twice. Someone was playing with my life and I hated every bit of that. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

I stretched out my hand, my fingers getting in touch with the cold of a glass bottle. Not looking, in the dark, I weighed up the item. Once I was sure it still contained alcohol, I lead the rim to my lips and drank. The alcohol got my bronchial tubes on fire, I was coughing loudly. Translucent liquid flew along my mouth and I wiped it away with the back of my hand before it stained my pillow.

Earlier, my phone rang tirelessly. It had been a handful of minutes now that the call had spaced out a little. Maybe he would eventually grow weary and think it was pointless to insist. It would be wrong. Wrong yet right. I wanted it to stop as much as I wanted things to be different.

The bottled slipped out of my hands and crushed against the floor. My phone kept on ringing. Both palms pressed against my ears, I prayed not to hear anything anymore. But it felt like the volume was higher this way. Out of the fog of my drunkenness, Soarin's face emerged, like a series of flashes in which I could see his face gradually crumbling down, his hands clenched around his phone, pain gnawing at him.

I wished I could chase these pictures off my mind but they came back all the time. I was a monster of selfishness. I only was thinking about me, about my deceptions. I hated that too. But there was nothing else I could do. I was like a prisoner of my own body.

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It felt like I was Ryo Saeba and Kaori kept on knocking her club inside my head. Even opening my eyes was complicated. My lids hurt and my throat was dry and my mouth was made of cotton.

My room looked like it had been crossed by some sort of tornado. Corpses of vodka bottles stretched within my field of vision, straddled together. If I weren't the person living here I would have said this was inhabited by on old alcoholic. So, I closed my eyes again, hoping the thumps in my head would eventually stop.

But I couldn't go back to sleep. Memories from last night came back in my mind and were unforgiven. Never again had I touched degradation that close yet I spent most of my teenage years standing alongside of it. This all for what? A boy! How silly! Where had the real Rainbow Dash gone? The girl who always swore she didn't care much about love, and anything too sentimental, that it was for stupid dummies with sappy dreams of Prince Charming and that she was too cool for school when it came to that thing? I was ashamed of me for that, just the same as I was in pain.

My eyes opened up again, almost against my will. From where I lain, I could only have glimpses at shadows, nonetheless, the lines of my phone at the back of my room was clear.

I sat up and left my bed with a slow body, bottom on the floor. I put my hands down and a sharp pain pierced my skin. I had forgotten about the bottles that crashed last night. Shards of glass were buried inside my palm, I could feel drops along my skin.

Once the light was on, I was obliged to blink in order to get used to it again. Things were even worse than what I thought ; a battlefield. I snatched the shard off my skin and saw pearls of a crimson liquid dripping. I wiped the blood against my sweater and started to gather the bottles.

It smashed inside my trashcan and each clink was like a needle buried in my mind. I deserved all that. There was no one else to blame but myself. I knew what I was doing when I decided to be with Soarin anyway. Hard luck!

When I got back my phone, there was specks of dust stuck to the screen. I chased them with the back of my hand without a care about some sticking to the blood. My inbox was full. I had a message from my telephone operator saying it went the same with my answering machine. Most of my short messages were from Soarin, except a handful by Coloratura, Pinkie, Rarity and Fluttershy. I made all my friends worry...

Not even reading any of them, I chose to erase everything. If they wanted to know how I was feeling, they would have to wait until Monday morning. Until then, I would have to do my best to be okay again, and I knew I could do that. I was going to pull it together, I was going to get on with my life and put all this in the past, and maybe in a few months I would see it all as a bittersweet story I could laugh about once older, and tell my children, if I ever have some, that once, a very long time ago, I dated a superstar.

I didn't know how Soarin was doing... If my memories were correct, little by little calls and messages slowly stopped. I doubted he could do anything to change our situation.

I put my phone away on the bedside table, tidied the room and my stuff. I heard when the outside is clean, the inside benefits from it. I hoped it would work for me. Anyway, I had to keep busy because I was convinced this would be the only way to get better real quick. Wallowing in self-pity had never been my style and I didn't want it to become an habit.

Once everything was ordered, I gathered clothes and rushed to the bathroom. Thankfully, there was no one on my way. There would have been nothing worse than meeting someone, especially Fluttershy, since she would have want an explanation and I felt too vulnerable to talk about it yet.

I carefully avoided mirrors, scared to see something I wouldn't like. With the hard night I had spent, I knew the result would be horrible and take some tricks to look at least presentable. I did everything slowly yet precisely. Shower, wash my hair, brush my teeth, applying makeup.

Back in my room, I settled with my cello. One of our teachers asked us to learn the partition of a passage of "Six suite pour violoncelle", by Bach. And it was giving me a particularly hard time. Just because I was heartbroken didn't mean I had to neglect my work. I knew for sure that we were not in the movie "Clueless" and that none of the professors would accept to change my grades after a good negotiation from me.

Someone knocked hurriedly at my door, getting me out of my focus. In the meantime, my heart bolted like it was suddenly going back to life. I stared at the mirror which vibrated from the insistance. There was no way it could be Fluttershy and I wasn't feeling any more ready to face her than I was earlier.

I didn't want to see anybody yet. But I couldn't forget about the knocks. Something inside me was shaking, prancing about. My instinct whispered to me not to leave this business unfinished. And if it wasn't Fluttershy, then I would see what to do...

I had barely opened my door that everything froze around me. Soarin. I was dreaming. There was no way. Locks of his raven wig stuck to his cheeks, redden by the cold outside. A thick white scarf was hiding the whole bottom of his face. It couldn't be real. I clenched my fingers around the knob. And he fell on my neck, his arms knotted around my back.

I had to face the facts - I wasn't dreaming. It was Soarin holding me in his arms, on my doorstep. In this hostel he hadn't come to for so long it felt like centuries ago. I closed the door behind him and as soon as it slammed, I could feel him tightening his embrace.

I felt my heart thumping frantically, as if trying to come through my clothes and meet his. I wrapped my arms around him and could feel his body was frozen through the thick layer of clothes. When he looked at me, his eyes were shimmering and I noticed the tip of his nose was red. I wanted to smile but I couldn't.

My expression changed and instead of surprise and relief, I was shaken by rage. I slaped his face, unable to control myself.

"Why did you do that to me? Why, Soarin? Why did you do that to me?"

First, he was too stunned to react. I knew I was the one who deserved anger. I also knew that he could have asked me the same question. Why? I had my reasons for sure but now he was in front of me, they seemed far away, too far. All I could do was express the frustration and rage I had held back for so long, and unfortunately, for lack of the person it was really targeted at, he was the receiver of it all.

He grabbed my wrist, his eyes now burning of a flame I'd never seen before. He would never forgive me...

But instead of letting me go, leave and forget everything about the ungrateful person I was, he brought me closer and held me tighter he ever held me. I kept on trying to get out of his embrace before my anger melted abruptly and I held him even tighter than he did.

Whispering, I asked him to forgive me. I repeated it over and over again until the words lost their meaning. Little by little, the links that girdled my whole body went undone and I turned suppler, softer in his arms.

This thin layer of ice which froze me from the inside was gone. Slowly, he led me to the bed where we both sat. I put my hand up and got him rid of the wig he wore without the rest of the material. His real hair was electric. He did the same with my hair, but I pushed away his hands and lowered my head.

"No, don't look at me. I know I look ugly."

"Don't say that," he whispered.

His eyes met mine. They were shining with something I couldn't quite put my fingers on. His arms once again joined behind my neck and he put his lips on mine, eager. Instinctively, I answered his kiss, tightened my embrace around him. Something took over me, like a bolt coming from my lower belly up to my eyes. Soarin never got away from me, conversely, he seemed like trying to be as close as possible...

His thick woolen scarf fell on the floor, heavy yet light. His body pressed against mine, my back pressed against the mattress of the narrow single bed.

Last night seemed to belong to a bad dream, beribboned with some white fog, like dream sequences of my favorite black and white movies.

The Demi-Paradise

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Until then, I let the wave transport me. Languid, it carried my body around with its swirl, guided my actions. I knew them all by heart though they were nothing but sweet uncharted territories before that day. Of course, I more or less knew what it would be like but it was very hazy, like a shadow dancing far away from me.

It felt like I was watching a movie and I were the main character. I knew it was my body, my voice. Even if I knew, I couldn't fully realize.

I was doing all this and now it was time for me to let my conscience grasp on the moment. I couldn't remain a viewer of my own life. So, I opened up my eyes. Darkness wrapped itself around my it. I had no light I could hang on to.

All I knew about that, clearly, was that the setting wasn't ideal. It looked in no way like flowery dreams of young girls. Alcohol smell floated around and there was very neat traces of it against my pillow. My bed was narrow, the mattress hard behind my back. The wooden slats were creaking at each movement. I could hear the heater slightly snoring beside me.

Yet I wasn't feeling tricked by destiny. I had no care about flowery dreams, and had in mind that they often were deceiving. I didn't care about the narrow bed, the wooden creaks, the heater's buzz. Only one thing mattered. I was with him and he was with me. We were now as one, as close as possible.

I couldn't remember what happened to the wig, his bag, my cello. I only knew one thing. Though the pain was sharp, it was worth it. It felt like a minutious and precise cut, each time at the same spot. Regularly, Soarin whispered meaningless sounds in my ears.

His face, right above mine, was focused on me. The depth of his green eyes were staring at me with the same intensity and it felt a bit awkward, yet so good. My arms around his hips were following their undulating moves. Didn't he cover us with the blanket earlier? I could feel the wool scratching my ankles.

His rockings slowed down gradually and eventually stopped. I could feel his chest against mine, rising and falling wildly, like a metronome on the blink.

"Something's wrong?" he asked in a whisper. "Does that hurt too much? Do you want me to stop?"

I haven't even realized silent tears had started to roll along my cheeks. Yet I shook my head no, smiling at him tenderly. My hands ran through his hair and stroked the temps, damp from a thin layer of sweat.

"No. I'm fine. Keep it going, please..."

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Indeed, I was waken up by the pain. My flesh felt like dug skinless. I had managed to forget it and fell in a deep sleep but it called back on me quicker than I thought. My body, rolled on the side, was on the edge of the mattress and the blanket had fallen off my back. All I could hear was the wind outside and Soarin's breath behind me.

I stretched my hand and by feel, I looked for my phone on the bedside table. My fingers got in touch with the plastic. On the screen I could read it was one past twenty-eight in the morning. I was cold.

I turned around in the skimpy bed, trying my best not to fall. Soarin was sleeping, I could only see his back and yet. He was the one covered with the blanket. It looked like this blanket wanted to mock me, to tell me she was the one making the most of the natural warmth of his skin. How silly I felt, jealous of a piece of cloth!

The truth was that each time he was away, I couldn't help thinking about all the girls around him, actresses and female singers, easier to reach and lovelier too. By waiting for too long, I was scared he would grow tired and decide to succumb to the charms of another one.

I never had found the courage to tell him. I never was the kind of persons to say these kind of things easily. I liked actions better than words. I neither was the kind of person to get bored of something I liked very quickly. When I love, I love forever. And I loved him. Very much. Yet words still couldn't come out of my mouth.

I slipped myself under the blanket with him and pulled him against me, carefully, not to wake him up. Immediately, his shoulders started to move. One second later, he was lying on his back, smiling at me.

"I didn't want to wake you up," I whispered.

"You haven't," he answered the same way.

I didn't know why we felt the need to whisper. Maybe because, actually, he wasn't a resident of the hostel anymore and guests were forbidden. But he knew this place by heart and that felt to me like he was finally going back home.

I put one hand against his cheek. A few rough patches scratched. Soarin took my palm, frowned in the dark. A small cut was visible, and the dried blood formed some kind of crimson crust, looking like small marbles.

"How did you do that?"

"With a bottle. I'm fine..."

"You haven't even cleaned it. Your hands are your main working tools, you have to take good care of them."

"Yes, Sir!"

His fingers closed on mine and I realized how cold he still was. Some chill went through his spine, that he couldn't repress. Soarin stroked the hair on my forehead and I brought him closer, chest against chest, our legs meddling.

"Don't get cold. If I send you back to Filthy Rich with a voice loss, he's going to kick my butt."

Filthy Rich. The ghost floating above our heads. I had forgotten his existence and Soarin's obligations towards him. Saying his name out loud brought me back to reality. My boyfriend wasn't free. His whole life was planned by someone else. I had been able to cherry-pick a tiny portion of his time but I knew it wouldn't last.

It would be easy for me to set him free, to stop it all right here and right now. Yet back then, I refused to do such thing although it surely was selfish. It was something to be parted but to know that, sometimes, when the agent was lenient, we could see each other again, though we had to be much patient. It was something else to break up. Now I could see clearly. Well... Yet again, it was only the beginning. I didn't know all the things that would happen afterwards.

The Angel and the Badman

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"Munday". Lucy Liu's name in the movies of "Charlie's Angels". That was how boys from CAM nicknamed me. The reason? Very simple! I was known for being the girl who rebuffed boys in the most honest and blunt fashion. Some also called me the "Ice Princess". But that nickname was less fun, less imaginative. I liked being Munday. I liked being the girl that said no before they even asked a question. Probably that was why, once again, some thought I was a lesbian but I didn't care the least about what they thought. All that mattered to me was that they never came and bugged me. I'd even say they never came at all. End of the story, ciao, bye.

Yet on this beautiful shiny winter day, I was a happy Munday. No longer frowning and throwing thunderbolts at any boys who dared looking in my direction. After Soarin went away, I realized that all this would hurt me less if I gave it a lesser importance. I had to focus back on me and on the things that I wanted from life. I had to envision Soarin and I as the nice interlude of my ambition. It didn't mean I loved him less. I still loved him very much. It only meant I would stop building frustration in my chest just because I hated to be played with by his agent. And so, I could be full of hope for the future.

I had been charged by Vice-Principal Luna who, I'm still not sure why, was really fond of me, to get photocopies that she had forgotten, in her office.

The school and my class' schedule were going to be very tight for the upcoming months. First, in a few weeks, there was going to be Hearts & Hooves Day, our Equestrian equivalent to Valentine's Day. CAM had a very cool tradition on Hearts & Hooves Day, consisting of units of classes in charge to organize a party, with an original theme and the best party with the greatest number of persons from the lower grades who attended would win an awesome prize, like coupons for free restaurants all year long, free instruments, free concerts, all sort of things. There were very few chances for Soarin to come and visit me for the occasion yet I was very excited anyway because of that. You know, I like to win and I was willing to make everything I could so we would get the prize. Especially as we had the best party planner of all town, aka Pinkie Pie.

After Hearts & Hooves Day, there would be what is called The Blooming of Flowers. It was some sort of festival where future candidates to the school went to visit it in order to decide whether or not they want to study here. Once again, there was going to be some kind of competition since each student had to convince the largest number of potential newcomers to study their instruments. In my case, for guitar, there are no big problems, but for cello, that was another thing. Not a lot of people want to study an instrument so imposing. For the occasion, we all had to dress formally.

Finally, we were going to have what served as exams for us. It was a gala where students of the fourth year presented a concert, in groups or solo. In the audience, there was going to be professional of the musical world, modern and classical, who would, in some kind of way, do their groceries. It was the most important event of them all, especially for those like me who didn't plan on studying for two more years and had to be hired by a production company or an orchestra. With Rarity and Pinkie, we were planning to play as a trio with two-parts: first a modern composition of our own, then a classical piece from Zoltan Kodaly, called "Sonate op. 8".

So, Vice-Principal Luna who was our teacher for traditional classes, in literature, had sent me to get photocopies of the school's program and especially of how the gala was supposed to happen. Corridors were almost empty but I could hear the chatters of the on-going classes as I was hopping, very Pinkie-like, while singing the tune of the song the girls and I have composed. I didn't know why I felt so gleeful, whether it had to do with the fact that everything was back in order again with Soarin or only the perspective of all the upcoming competitions but I was so high I was a bit absent-minded, which wasn't much like me and my photographic memory, always on the outlook of everything going on around me.

And what went around came around. Of course, I bumped into someone. Hard. So hard all the photocopies fell on the floor and I fell too, on my bottom. I let out a small "ouch!" which probably sounded much more like a scream from a truck driver overtook by a car, before I realized my papers were scattered all around the place.

As fast as I could, I tried to gather my stack, crounching like a frog. Thankfully, the lanky person I bumped into leaned over and helped me. But the real shock was when I looked up to see who this generous soul was. Guess who it was... Come on! At least, try. Giving up?

That was that good old Thunderlane!

Yeah, you know, Thunderlane, that very popular guy who had a crush on me and confessed right after I started dating Soarin. The one and only.

He was now not only the idol of the girls in first year but also of all the other years and classes of CAM. A real living fantasy for racing hormones.

"Are you okay?" he asked me with a smile. "Did I hurt you?"

"Of course not..." I said shrugging, more focused on my papers than I was on his person. "Don't worry, I'm solid rock. Small but tougher!"

Emerged the shadow of a laugh which died as quickly before he kept on gathering the papers, speechless. I had very little occasion to speak to him since I rejected him on that strange Monday morning, especially as he was in a complete different class than mine, expect on the lessons we had in the amphitheaters.

We were always done in our task when he spoke to me again. And I can tell you, I was in shock. Even I couldn't have expected what would happen next. I realize now that in reality, I didn't even know him at all.

"Say! Are you still with that boyfriend of yours?"

"Uh uh..." I said, shrugging again.

What the hell was he doing? He probably had forgotten that I wasn't nicknamed Munday or even The Ice Princess for no reason. And I was rather sure he knew about the nickname and rumors since everybody knew them. Someone had even written on the door of one toilet "Rainbow Dash is a f*cking cold-hearted b*tch who desperately needs to get laid". It's so sweet of you to be so worried about my sexual life, but I'm doing very fine, thank you.

"But Rarity's free, isn't she? Could you ask her whether she'd like to hang out with me sometimes?"

Yes, Rarity had been free for a little while now. Her very serious boyfriend who knew her parents broke up with her a long time ago because he had met an older girl, a model, who he fell head over heels for. Was she sad? Not in the least! Someone else was already in her heart, by that time.

But the very infuriated part of the speech resided elsewhere. The guy tried to take his chance on me but seeing there was no way, he had his heart set on another of my girl friends. I already had my palms burning with the urge to hit his head against the floor.

"Sorry, Rarity's in love with someone else."

That someone was Sandalwood. Of course. Well, they never said "I love you" to each other, but neither did Soarin and I and yet we were in love. I wasn't quite sure why things didn't move at all between them, though. Like Kathryn Merteuil in "Cruel Intentions" said: "Unfortunately, our Don Juan is moving with the speed of a Special Olympics hurdler." Holler to the greatest quotable character of all time (equally-ranked with Rizzo from "Grease"... but that's a very personal opinion).

"Ah." He sounded relatively disappointed. "And Flutteshy dates Big Mac, right?"

That was another thing I forgot about. They had some kind of love at the first sight but since they both were shy, it took quite sometimes before Big Macintosh finally invited Fluttershy out. Yet, ever since, they were the sappiest pair of lovebirds CAM had ever witnessed.

And yeah. It was also revolting that he sounded like he wanted to hit on Fluttershy as well, after his chances with both Rarity and I were gone. Gives you an idea of the type of guy.

"They've been together for six months already. Sorry. The twins are free, though."

It seemed like he absolutely wanted to screw someone from my bunch of friends so I was only trying to help. Among all the girls fantasizing of being noticed by Thunderlane, there still was Lyra and Bon Bon, of course. Some things never changed.

"Yuk! No thanks!"

I couldn't help frowning. He was talking about two very good friends of mine. Now I know Lyra and Bon Bon weren't exactly the discreet type but they were pretty and a lot of boys would have given anything to get a chance with one of them. They knew how to dress, they were funny, they were good in music, knew a lot of things about a lot of different topics. And they were crazy about that guy. He could have litterally asked them anything, they would have done it without further thinking.

If he wanted to have some nice sweet girl, an ideal figure of feminity, he would never had a crush on me in the first place. I almost never wore high-heel shoes, wore very little makeup, I didn't care about my nails or about anything cute or frilly. I had - almost - always been boasty, brash, straightforward, nasty, competitive, aggressive. In nutshell, a string of traits characteristically not gendered as being "feminine". Whatever that might mean.

I was almost done with my papers when an idea popped into my mind. Since he was trying to get all the girls from my bunch, except "the twins", there was one good-looking girl with a killer body and a pastel wardrobe who was dying for a boyfriend...

"Well, then... There's still Pinkie."

At the sound of the name "Pinkie", his disgusted expression turned into something else, that I wasn't sure I could decipher. It seemed to be asking me whether I went nut or something.

"No thanks!" he claimed as we both got up on our feet again. "I like quieter girls best. I mean... Not quiet but, girls who know how to behave. With her, I'm going to be ashamed to get out of my house. And that curly haircut. No f*cking way."

What a jerk! I swear I wanted to punch his loverboy face in the nose.

He didn't look embarrassed in the least to say such things in front of me. Pinkie Pie was my best friend and everyone in the school knew it. Yeah, she also had her flaws, just like anyone else, being loud, jumpy, sometimes silly, messy in her ideas, curious, singing for no reason, saying the wrong things at the wrong moments. But at the same time, she was the best person I knew. Her heart was so big she could have loved about just anybody and she was a real ray of sunshine for anyone feeling blue. No one could give you a good laugh as much as Pinkie did. And this guy who didn't know her at all, who only stuck to appearances, dared implying she was bad-mannered and embarrassing to be with, romantically.

He could have the face of an angel. Deep inside, he was a jerk. A narrow-minded jerk with a penis where others had a brain and a heart. If I had no feelings at all about him before, I was seriously starting to hate him from now on. He could go to hell, for as far as I was concerned, I wouldn't try to save him at all.

Beginning to walk without a goodbye, I tried to leave him behind, on full-mode Munday. But that moron kept on walking beside me.

"Ya know... If one day, you and your boyfriend break up, maybe you could think about me. I'll be waiting for you."

Said the guy who asked me if he two of my closest friends were free right after I turned him away. Who the hell did he think he was? Dissing on my best friend, and trying to take his chance on me again afterward? Boy, Santa Claus was invented by Coca Cola and sirens were a legend! Better start believing pigs will fly.

"Don't wait. I'll never think of you. Like, at all."

Then, I bumped into him, this time voluntarily and kept on walking, but in the opposite way. If there was a deity in the sky, then my path would never meet the path of that jerk again. But conversely to some, I knew Santa Claus was an invention.

No Name on the Bullet

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Do you know this turn of phrase: "to suffer a succesion of disappointement"? Oh, you don't? Well, time to learn, dude!

Last time I had seen Soarin was three months ago. He sent me a phone number that happened to be the epitom of a joke, like a professional spit on the face. Since he never answered on his personal phone, which calls and messages were controlled by his agent, he thought maybe we could communicate via Filthy Rich's office. The man was rarely there, so it could have worked. But it didn't, it didn't at all. Soarin warned the various secretaries that each time Rainbow Dash would call that number, they had to transfer it directly on his professional phone. But the thing is that very shortly after, Filthy Rich directly asked his secrataries not to take any call from me! Why? That number had to be used for professional purposes only. So, how did Soarin and I communicate? We sent each other letters, like in the Middle Age (but with a slightly best postal service). My boyfriend being more away than at home, even that was more difficult that if he had been fighting in Irak! And us Equestrian don't even fight in Irak (or anywhere else in the world, for that matter).

In fact, everything was even worse than before we saw each other a few weeks ago. Naturally, I was frustrated again but I champed at the bit for a reason. Heart & Hooves Day was approaching and I had hoped things could go my way this time. To make sure I could at least give him some chocolate and we could go and watch a movie together (we already have done that before, all it took was to get inside the theater during the trailers and leave before the light went on again, the rest worked thanks to darkness and the magic of cinema), I politely asked Filthy Rich, by letting a message to a lenient secretary. He answered me quickly by a "I'll get back to you soon" and he hadn't got back to me yet at all.

Pinkie Pie and I were trying to find a theme for the Hearts & Hooves party of the night after. It might seem strange that we hadn't found anything yet but the truth that, we had so many ideas per second, espcially Pinkie, that it had turned very diffictul to choose only one that would really speak to us and be appealing for the others. We really, really, and I mean REALLY wanted to win this year's competition. Thanks to that swarming of reflections, I was focused enough not to want to punch everyone I met in the nose.

We were still trying to find the perfect theme, on our way to traditional class, when my phone vibrated. As I looked at the screen, I realized I had just received a message from a number I had never seen of my life. Of course, I hesitated before I read it, since I didn't want to be tricked by a scam, but Pinkie assured me there was no risk as long as I didn't click on a link to internet or anything of the type. When I pressed the button with the envelop, the first thing I noticed was that it was signed by Mr. Filthy Rich in person. If you think this could be good news then you obviously don't understand the man.

Here was the content of that lovely, wonderful, amazing fcking message:

"We're sorry, we cannot consent to your request. Don't answer to this message."

My name wasn't mentioned, nor anything personal whatsoever. Actually, I'm pretty sure that was a message from a bot, the type of thing that was sent automatically to no one in particular.

Everything inside and outside of me clenched. All my good resolutions about how it was pointless to be angry or aggressive vanished away and I swear I wanted to run to Filthy Rich's office and to hang him by the feet from the roof of a skyscraper. This was what I was worth for that man, after all the patience I had shown - nothing at all. Even the most hysterical of crazy fans weren't treated that way. Don't think it's impossible to hate someone with all your heart if you have seen this person only twice in your life and very briefly because I can assure you it is not.

"Uh uh," said Pinkie, staring at me. "I guess Hearts & Hooves Day with Soarin won't be for this year. Again."

I was so mad I couldn't move, my hands compressing my smartphone so strongly I thought it would break. Seeing me so tensed, and because she knew the best with me was to make me think of anything else, my best friend pulled the sleeve of my sweater and forced me to resume walking.

"Come on... Let's not be late. You know how Vice-Principale Luna hates that."

But I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I had to spit out everything that was weighing on my heart.

"Don't you realize, Pinkie? I feel like I were... No one. Just a parasite or some pain in the a**!"

"Hey, maybe you're being a little too much here," Pinkie said, opening the lid of her soda can. "It's not like you were guys were married or anything!"

I had told Pinkie nothing about what happened between Soarin and me last time we saw each other. I had told no one, actually. It wasn't something to be shouted from the rooftops. Except I was angry and blinded by all these contextual elements that most of these details didn't really count...

"Maybe not, but..."

I stopped her by pulling the sleeve of her hot pink sweater and brought her close enough so she would be the only one to hear. Pinkie was sipping her juice in small gulps.

"I've slept with Soarin!"

Only once I said it I realized what I said. But not only this... That was by saying the words that I realized what it meant to be and what it implied. Something of who I was now was a part of history. My teenage years were effectively over and I had entered straight into the world of adults and the responsibilities of adults.

When she heard me, Pinkie Pie turned around and spat out her soda on the floor. Unfortunately, a girl was passing us by and she smirked in disgust. Crazy to see there still were persons who weren't used to my friends' various eccentricities... We were really famous in the school for that and many other things! Maybe she was in the first year... Each time, I couldn't help thinking about what the CAM would look like without my wild bunch. Surely everything would be much quieter but also much duller, I was convinced of that. The truth was that, though embarrassing, everybody liked this about us and thought they were going to miss us once we would be gone.

Pinkie grabbed my shoulders, looked straight into my eyes. To be honest, I was expecting her to yell at me because I kept such an enormous secret from her, when she told me absolutely everything about her love and sexual life (yes, in details...).

"You're pregnant, is that so?"

I won't lie, I was in shock. Why was that her first reaction to this kind of revelation? Why on earth did she think I was the kind to take irresponsible decisions? Especially as, as you may not know, my father is a gynecologist! Which explained why he was so puzzled about the fact he remarried to a woman with four girls. But that was another topic.

"Are you nut or completely insane? I'm under pill since the age of twelve! And we used condoms. I'm not stupid. May I recall you that my father is Bow fcking Hothoof?"

Strangely, Pinkie looked disappointed by my answer. But she quickly got together and got to the real thing. I haven't told her anything.

"You're only telling me now, after all I shared with you. I feel so betrayed I think I'm going to cry!"

She was about to act like a Drama Queen, surely under the not-so-good influence of our dear Rarity but before she could even start her act, Vice-Principale Luna's voice resounded through the corridors, asking us to come on to the amphitheater number sixteen immediately or we would be forbidden to organize any party for tomorrow night.

When we arrived, the amphitheater was crowded and we both had difficulty finding a seat that was not at the complete back, or worst, on the floor. As we got our way through the rows of seats to find Rarity, Fluttershy and Big Mac, who gently had kept free spaces for us, it was clear to see that everyone around was bothered by our latedness, especially Vice-Principale Luna, tapping her feet on the floor of her days, waiting for us to finally sit down.

To be honest, I was still mad about the message on my phone. I couldn't get the words out of my mind. The only thing that kept me from blowing a fuse for real was that I had other things to focus on right now. Things that were more important than Hearts & Hooves Day, because they implied my future.

"Fine," Vice-Principale Luna said, with her somber and loud voice. "Before classes start, we're going to tell you what will be this year's prize for our Hearts & Hooves Party contest. It's going to be a trip."

Suddenly, the amphitheater heated up and conversation spurted in every way. Myself, I instantly stopped thinking about that awful message. This was too exciting to care about such trivialities.

One of the boys in the back rows said something, surely proud of his "wit".

"Please don't tell us we're going to go to Fillydelphia. There would be what? Half on hour by train? This isn't worth the pain!"

I wasn't sure it was a journey of half an hour by train but indeed, going from Canterlot to Fillydelphia, on the West Coast of Equestria, it was rather quick.

"Who do you think we are? Come on!" Vice-Principale Luna stated, hands on her hips behind her mic.

"Oh, Hawaii!" yelled a girl in the front.

"You won't get lazy on a beach, no, if that's what you think. We want you to learn more about music. It sounds legit."

An illumination stroke me and I sat up, like I were sitting on a string.

"Is it Paris?" I asked, with stars in my eyes.

When I was a little girl, Mom showed me a concert that had been recorded in France, where an artist played Epiphanie, a cello play by Maurice Maréchal. That's how I fell in love with music and with that strange cumbersome instrument that was cello and decided to play it. Ever since, I also started to develop a passion for everything related to France. Of course, I was rather bad in French but I was trying to learn and I liked the cooking and the national classical music scene. And in case you wonder how someone like me could be liking something as uncool as classic music (or movies, for that matter), I'll tell you that what makes something cool is how you do it and who does it.

"Well, yeah... Rainbow Dash is right! It's going to be Paris for the winners..."

Wait a minute. Wait a minute!!! The prize for this year really was a trip to Paris? Ohmigosh ohmigosh omigosh!!!! There was absolutely NO WAY I could let anyone else than us win this thing. I was already determined to be number one but with this new information, I was going to crush them all under my feet and no sympathy for anyone! This. Was. War.

"Darling, Paris is the ultimate capital of fashion," Rarity whispered to me. "I went there five years ago and my shopping sprees were exquisite."

"And let's not forget that's where are the best bakeries and pastries shops in the world," Pinkie added, already drooling over.

"I heard there's a big zoo right in the center of Paris," Fluttershy went on, with an emotional voice.

Something to know about Fluttershy is that she adores animals. She's an active vegan, have many pets and worked at an animal refuge, and let's not forget she was campaigning against fur in the whole school.

"Pinkie, there's no other choice: we must win. No matter what!"

Lyra and Bon Bon weren't sitting with us but from where we were, we had a glimpse at them and noticed they were at least as excited as we were. And this was how my mind went off that stupid message, completely. I had other things to do than to get pointlessly mad at something I couldn't fight. Life was so much more than romance and deceptions.

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I've checked out whether my passport was in order. I called my father so he could send me money in case I won the trip. Although I hate serious things and big responsibilities, I did everything necessary before lunch. If we won, which I didn't doubt, we would leave for Paris in one month, for one entire week but I wanted to have only the fun things to care about. This announcement invigorated me and I felt in perfect shape. Thanks to that, I hadn't broken another smartphone by sending it against a wall, which was my specialty when I was angry. I already had to buy a new one twice and I have to say that I am lost without my phone.

During lunch, with Pinkie, we were off on a trip of our own, trying all kind of hairstyles but hairstyles the ugliest possible. We were having fun and laughing out loud like fools when a wonderful idea occured. Why our theme for the Heart & Hooves Party couldn't be "Let's get ugly!"? The principle was simple: if you're alone for Hearts & Hooves Day, maybe you think that's because you're ugly. Well, big deal! Uglies have more fun, as a proof, our party would be the funniest... The aim would be for everyone to arrive there as ugly as possible.

Girls liked the idea very much and we created a quick flyer thanks to Rarity's great sense of creativity that we printed in order to give them away. We were showing off, wearing disguises - old clothes found in the costumes trunks, not matching together at all - with fake thick glasses, fake teeth or a ridiculous haircut or all this at the same time. I was in a style which I would never have dared in front of Soarin, with an horrible school uniform upside down, crooked pigtails and glasses so thick I couldn't even see straight. We laughed so hard it was rather difficult to give the flyers away seriously.

From afar, I spotted a familiar back. A lanky guy, slender with white crop hair. Yeah, Thunderlane, the one and only. Now I know I was mad at him and I said I didn't want to be anywhere near him because of what he said about Pinkie Pie and my other friends but today was an exception. We had an interest in talking to him. The guy was very popular with all kind of girls from the school and we knew for sure that if he could come at our party, then all his fans would want to be there too. It was worth a momentary bury of the hatchet.

"Hey, Thunderlane!"

He turned around and when he saw us, he had a small frightening jolt until he recognized us and all his body relaxed.

"What the hell is this get-up?" he asked, still a little scared.

"We're organizing a party for Hearts & Hooves Day. If we win, maybe we'll go to Paris thanks to us. Our theme is "Let's get ugly!". For those alone during Hearts & Hooves," I gave him a flyer. "See, they might think that's because they're ugly but if they come to our party, they'll find ugly friends and feel less lonely while having fun all night long. Isn't it awesome?"

"Yeah... That could be nice. Why not? Count me in."

I smiled at him, proud of myself. We were now sure to win. Already, I was dreaming about the streets of Paris, the restaurants, the Eiffel Tower, the parks and the National Opera...

"But," he said while taking a closer look at the flyer. "Why do you do that? Aren't you supposed to have a boyfriend?"

"I do..." I answered, my teeth clenched.

"So, what's the problem, then? Did he dump you?"

Did I ever mention how much I hated that guy? At that moment, I even hated him more than Filthy Rich. Trying to be nice and friendly gave way to him offending you without a care about anything. I snatched the flyer off his hands. He didn't need it and we didn't need his awful presence to win.

"You know what? Forget about it!"

I got away from here before I threw him against the wall and bumped into him like a wrestler in a show. I could hear Pinkie scolding him about things that weren't to be laughed at. Then, the strangest thing of all happened. Fluttershy, who was in the back and speechless until then, with her fake teeth and her messy hair, threw her fist in the air and cried "Let's get ugly!!" before running back to us.

We couldn't help bursting out laughing. Especially as when we turned around, we had a glimpse of Thunderlane's face. He was so puzzled that it looked like he was going to faint from the shock. Surely he was thinking that, before she met us, Fluttershy was a regular lovely and shy girl who now had become completely lunatics by befriending with so many disturbed persons. Served him right! Or not.

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We were here. Hearts & Hooves Day. I wanted to fall asleep on the day before and to wake up on the day after but I guess I wasn't tired enough. Instead of being sad, I was in my warrior mode, ready to fight for the spot of number one. Celebration for lovers? F*ck that! It was the day of showing what you were made of.

I bought a box of chocolates in the most luxurious chocolate shop (like I was going to make them myself), that I sent to Soarin via our dear postal service. To be honest, I had no idea whether he would receive them but I had done my girlfriend duty. There was going to be a party and I didn't want to be the sulking girl, unhappy because she was single... and I wasn't even single! Okay, the message I received on the previous day was still haunting me but the world hadn't ended yet. No need to throw a hissy fit.

In my class, I threw my bag on my table and heard the girls talking excitedly about tonight's party. Everything would be okay if only our school hadn't found a better thing to do than having classes about many disgusting sappy things like love and sentimentalism, worthy of Hearts & Hooves Day.

When I saw Vice-Principale Luna climbing on the dais instead of our teacher of History of Music, something told me that, maybe, I could have a lucky escape. Who knew? I could have that, luck, for a change, it wouldn't hurt.

"Well, in case you wonder what has happened to Mr. Rhythm Harmony, don't... I'm here to tell you about this year's gala preparation so you lucky fellows won't have History at all today. Don't get carried away, though cuz it's only for today. Fine. Let's start."

This news apparently pleased a lot of the students and as it happens, I have to say I was rather pleased as well. This way, I was sure that at least for one hour, they would not try to tell me about love and other sweet things. If anyone around me came and told me this was the day of love and that I had to feel love and to give love, I thought I would gave them love by biting their arms off. They shouldn't have nicknamed me "Munday" but "The Black Knight", or "The Killing Rabbit". You got the idea.

Vice-Principal Luna opened her mouth to speak, a powerpoint hanging above her on the big screen of the amphitheater when her sister, our Principal Celestia, dressed in red and pink, holding a basket arrived and interrupted her.

"Hello, everyone... This is the moment of Hearts & Hooves Day's letters delivery!"

Gosh, I have forgotten about this one thing!! Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! And damn again!

This was one of my school's stupid special traditions. It has to be said that even when I was with Soarin and everything was still perfect between us, I thought this was a completely stupid tradition. The only moments I tolerated romance was when it was embedded in a very good movie, played by an Award-winning performer. And if romanticism was rather pleasant in classic music, it had always been boring to me anywhere else. The opposite of what excites me.

So, here was that infamous tradition. Canterlot Academy of Music is a College, not a High School and naturally, we didn't have lockers - so we always carried around our heavy instruments, yes. This meant it was impossible for a girl to give a guy they loved chocolates. Also, boys tended to avoid chocolates in order not to feel obliged to offer something to the girl during White Day, one month later, which led to a lot of boxes of chocolate that ended their race inside a trashcan. It was waste and waste was frowned up in the CAM. That was why Principal Celestia had settled a delivery of love letters instead, sent both by girls and boys.

Just like in "Mean Girls" with the sugarcanes, Principal Celestia called those who had a letter by their names and they got up to pick their letters on the dais. Thus, you could easily see who was popular, who wasn't or who scared people so much they never dared sending anything.

It was no surprise that Thunderlane was drowning in letters, like each year. Rarity had a lot of secret admirers as well, just like Fluttershy and even Pinkie Pie had her share of challenge-crazy boys who were head over heels for her outlandish character and her big boobs.

Did I have letters as well? At the beginning, yes. But after then, everybody knew I was dating someone (though they didn't know who) and no one dared to get blown off by Munday herself.

Yet, she called my name. A strange silence fell on the amphitheater as I got off my chair, puzzled. When I stretched out a shaky hand to get my letter, Principal Celestia leaned over and whispered something in my ear.

"This letter have been posted directly in our mailbox. There's no stamp on it, nor anything to tell us where it comes from. We hesitated for a long while before deciding to give it to you anyway. Are you sure you want to get it?"

Wait, what?

"Er... Yeah. I think I am."

"Fine. But be very careful, Rainbow Dash. If there's the least problem, don't hesitate."

Then, she called another person. Going back to my place, I caught Pinkie's eyes looking worried, to which I answered by a shrug. I had no idea what that could be.

"Fine," Vice-Principal Luna said once the delivery was over. "Read your letters quickly and let's get this over with! We have more important things to deal with."

Two minutes ago, I would have agreed with her. But I couldn't say I wasn't intrigued by this blank envelop with no other words written on it than my name. Only when I took a closer look at the writing my heart skipped a beat. A sharp lump appeared inside my throat. That couldn't be. How could it be? I was excited and afraid at the same time. It could also be a bad joke or another trivialities redacted by a robot for a no one. However, seeing everybody busy reading their letters I knew that, if I didn't hurry up, they would have been done and I would be tortured about that letter until the classes would be over. I had no choice.

My hands even shakier, I unsealed the envelop. As I took the letter out of it and unfolded it, something fell on my knees. I could have looked at what it was but now I wanted to read the letter as soon as possible. This way, if it was a dirty trick, I would be rid of it quickly.

« My dear Dashie,
I'm sorry. You know it, I won't be here for Hearts & HoovesDay. It must be painful or, if I know you right, it probably makes you mad. Don't be mad, please. I don't want you to get yourself worked up and stressed with that. Even though I know you're strong and you won't cry in front of anyone, I also remember what you told me on that night, the summer we went to spend one week at my home in Hoofington. Don't let this reach your walls.

I did my best so that Mr. Filthy Rich would give me at least three hours to be with you but he said I was too busy for that and made sure my schedules were too packed for that. Just like you, I'm mad, but I'm mad about myself because it feels like I'm not fighting strong enough for us. Well, that's why I took the initiative to write this letter to you that I've asked a friend to post at your school.

Could you do something for me? Today, I'd like you to smile, not to frown. You know that in my eyes, you're pretty all the time, and especially when you're tough but just for today, smile. Let the others see how bright you shine when there's a smile on your face. Please, remember that you're not alone. I'm here and I think about you all the time. I'd like you to keep this in mind each time you need some comfort. Don't worry, I'm fine. I miss you terribly but I'm fine. I promise I'll do my best to call you soon. We'll see each other very quickly, I'll do my best for this as well. Here's looking at you, kid.
Yours truly,
Soarin

P.S : you certainly have received that awful message they send to clients they have no time to get in touch with. Believe me when I said that I've begged Mr. Filthy Rich's secretary, the one who is mean, not to send it but she sent it anyway. I'm really, really, really, really, really sorry."

I wasn't expecting this. My hands were no longer shaky from nervousness. I was no longer mad and I no longer felt the need to be violent towards anyone. I just wished I could dance and sing and be silly and even sappy. As a smile stretched on my face, I had a glimpse at Pinkie staring at me, visibly happy and I didn't even try to hide it by boasting. Even when I heard some whispers about me by boys, stunned to see I wasn't only an Ice Princess, I didn't try to hide.

I pressed the letter against my heart and mentally thank a deity, not even thinking about one in particular - I'm not a religious person, neither. There was so much warmth in my body that I wanted to share it with everyone. Now I was ready for anything, whether it was an essay about romance in operas, or partying or dealing in Thunderlane's presence...

While Vice-Principal Luna started her lecture, I grabbed my favorite notebook so I could stick Soarin's letter there. This notebook was especially designed to collect everything I had that came from Soarin. I wrote important details of what happened between us, day by day, month by month, year by year. There are letters, pictures, written copies of emails and messages.

Suddenly, I remembered something had fallen on my laps when I unfolded the letter. What I discovered was a picture of Soarin and I, that we took in a photobooth and on which we were doing funny faces. It was his favorite one. I couldn't believe he finally accepted to give it to me...

I stuck it right beside the letter, with my brightest smile on, glad to know that I had been right to keep faith in him, in me, and faith in us.

Only Angels Have Wings

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He said he would call but he never called. It had been only two weeks since the letter, I knew, but two weeks that felt atrociously long. Days were going by so slowly. I always received calls from Coloratura, to get to the club or to say anything she wanted me to know, Fire Streak sent me three-hours long messages to tell me things I didn't even care about. It was even longer now that those two had met a few months ago. Between a womanizer and a femme fatale, of course there were sparks in the air, and this, though Fire Streak was engaged with a very beautiful model. But Soarin never called, though his calls were the ones I was yearning for the most.

On this morning, I was feeling awful. My throat was sore, my head felt about to blow up, my nose was congested and I was pretty sure I had a fever since I couldn't help shivering while sweating. At the same time, my stomach ached terribly, as if someone were tearing my innards from the inside before catching them on fire. I kept on sniffing into my handkerchief but I never could breath better.

We were waiting for another music theory class to begin but I couldn't get focused on what the girls were talking about around me, doubled up in pain and my whole body thumping against my clothes.

"Are you sure that's okay, Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy gently asked. "You look very in pain and you're even paler than usually."

"I told her she should have stayed at home," Pinkie Pie added.

"Yeah, I'm fine... Well, I'm obviously a little sick... Might have caught a cold. But it's going to be fine, don't worry."

Pinkie Pie grabbed my shoulders with her very special kind of delicacy and shook me like I were some plum tree.

"I know!" she cried. "You mistook again at the vending machine and took those Chinese cakes with grains, is that so?"

Pinkie Pie never remembered those grains were actually sesame, which means this was called sesam cakes. She didn't care because I eventually stopped point it out to her and now I understood what she wanted to say each time she was talking about Chinese cakes with grains. And since I was allergic to sesame, among other things, if I took that by mistake, it would have grave consequences.

But I hadn't taken anything at the vending machine. So, I told the girls so they wouldn't worry about a potential food poisoning. Surely I had only caught a very bad virus in the subway trains or something of the kind.

"Maybe you're just hungry," Fluttershy said. "My stomach really aches when I haven't eaten for too long. Wait, I have a cereal bar in my bag."

She leaned over to catch it but that was exactly the moment our teacher entered into the room. We were forbidden to eat in the music rooms so this cereal bar wasn't going to be for now.

Somehow, I settled correctly behind my instrument but I was really feeling dizzy. My ears were buzzing and I couldn't even hear what the teacher was saying. I couldn't see her clearly neither, actually, my vision completely blurred. But the worse still was my stomach that had never been so painful. Soon I was going to lie on my table and see an alien getting out of my belly... I stretched out my hand to get to Pinkie's.

"Pinkie," I said in a muffled hoarse voice. "I really can't take it anymore. Please tell the tea..."

Suddenly, all I could see was darkness. And a long narrow corridor where I was groping about. I kept walking in the corridor, but there was no exit, and nothing else around than darkness.

When I opened up my eyes, it felt like I had been falling into unconsciousness only a minute before. I didn't know what happened but I knew I wasn't in school anymore. When I numbly turned my head, still sunk in my inertia, I noticed a white wall. One more effort to turn my head the other way and I lowered my eyes to see there was a drip in my arm. I wasn't wearing my clothes but an hospital shirt. Slowly, my mind emerged from the fog. I tried to sit up.

A nurse rushed towards me.

"Don't push yourself too hard... You've been through a lot."

Yet I sat up anyway. My head was no longer spinning and though I still had a sore throat and a congested nose, my stomach hurt me no more. Or at least, a little less.

"What am I doing here?"

"You fainted from fever and pain."

Something like that never happened to me. I had been sick in the past, of course, but not so sick that I lost consciousness. Yet, I had taken medecines, I had done everything I should have do in order to get better. Maybe that was because I had so much frustration and sorrow in me, my body didn't follow anymore.

Someone knocked on the door and Pinkie Pie and Rarity appeared, looking very worried. Pinkie fell on my neck and held me like a maniac, but the nurse gently pushed her away.

"What happened?" she asked, sitting beside me. "You freaked us out!"

"Suddenly, you collapsed," Rarity replied sitting next to me as well. "You fell like this... Boom! Head first. It was so sudden some thought you were dead. Especially as there was blood..."

"Blood?!!"

"Yeah, Fluttershy was so shocked she didn't even want to come here. She took refuge near Big Mac."

"Wait a minute... You said there was blood!! Which blood?"

"You had a miscarriage."

It was the nurse's voice. Everyone in the room gasped, me included. This was totally IMPOSSIBLE.

"No way! I only had sex once, we used a condom and I am taking my pill seriously."

"You do know none of these two are a hundred percent safe?"

"And do you know who my father is? I've heard about contraception and child conception all my life! How many chances are there for this to happen? Like one in a million!"

"Yet, that's what happened to you. I'm really sorry."

Honestly, I didn't know how I felt about that. I didn't even have a clue about being... pregnant. The word itself sounded strange to me. There wasn't any indication that I would be in such a state, except maybe that I ate a bit more at one moment in time, and I even had blood which made me think everything was clinically normal.

It was not like I had known my condition. Surely, I would have felt sad or sorry for myself if it had been the case although I didn't want to have a baby now, at only twenty-one and still in College. Now the question that I asked myself was how and when would I tell it to Soarin? He had to know.

The other question was, when would I be back at school? I didn't want to stay in the hospital for too long, especially since I hate being inactive but most importantly, because our group had won the prize for the Hearts &Hooves Day Party and I really wanted to go to Paris.

"Here. The doctor prescribed this to you."

She gave me a small white paper bag with yellow and white pills in it. Nothing could indicate me what kind of medecine it was. Surely things that were given after a miscarriage, whatever could be given for such a problem.

"What is it?" I asked, intrigued and because I couldn't take pills without knowing what they did.

"Sleeping pills and antidepressants."

"What?!!"

Pinkie, Rarity and I all gasped in unison. We weren't expecting that, though I'm not sure what I was expecting exactly. It already was difficult enough for me to put up with what was happening to me. Taking all the necessary precautions to end up in the situation you wanted to avoid. Certainly, this was what some called hard luck.

"I don't want to take those. It's addictive and it's not at all what I need. I need vitamin C and paracetamol."

"A miscarriage is something very traumatizing. Just because you seem to be fine now doesn't mean you'll be fine all the time."

She took the clipboard pinned at my bed and read it.

"We also found that you were suffering from serious anemia, which is why you're so tired. Anemia is very serious as well. You need to rest. And to eat properly."

"What about that antidepressant thing?" Pinkie Pie asked judiciously. "She doesn't need pills, she has us. You can't force her to take these."

"It's not about forcing her. It's a matter of prevention. Miss Rainbow Dash should better listen to the doctors and get some rest if she wants her condition to get better. Now, please, leave her alone. She has to get some sleep."

Annoyed, I looked at my friends going away, while promising they'd visit me as soon as possible. The nurse left immediately after them and here I was alone, with nothing else to do than thinking about everything implied in this "health accident". A miscarriage... How could something like that be? How could it when I did my best to make sure it would never occur?

Finding no answer to these questions, I simply lied down and closed my eyes. But all I could see was the image of Filthy Rich, laughing at me.

Dracula Has Risen from the Grave

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Two days after, I was back to school. Miscarriages are a very frequent medical intervention, nothing special for doctors and gynecologists. It wasn't something that meant nothing to me. I knew almost everything there were to know about the topic. Still, it felt strange each time I thought about what was going on in my body without me knowing it and I started to feel a little guilty because I was supposed to be sad and I was just feeling very awkward. I wanted to send Soarin a letter, so he would know but I told myself that was something a girl needed to say face to face, not through any kind of intermediary.

My friends were the only ones who knew what had happened to me on this particular morning. I didn't really want the others to be aware of that. It was my private life.

And so, this good old routine took over again, despite it all. The way it always did, whatever was the drama or the joys of our lives.

The class was already over but with the girls and a few other students we were still in the room, chatting while putting everything away. On Wednesdays, there were no traditional classes and everything was dedicated to the practice of music, and in particular to the practice of what we were supposed to play for the end of the year gala. It had been two weeks since I fainted in school.

When Big Mac stepped into our class, Fluttershy's smile stretched out and suddenly illuminated everything around her. So much sappiness was sometimes a little too much for me, but not because I was jealous or something - they were my friends and I was happy for them, because they deserved it. It was too much because, well... I am Rainbow Dash.

"Hey," he said, leaning over the table. "Flutty and Ah are goin' to a great restaurant with friends, would ya like to join us?"

"Are your friends cute boys?" Pinkie asked.

She was on an active quest to find her perfect boyfriend and the task was really difficult because boys had to fill a lot of Pinkie's high-standard requirements, such as tall, cute, not too serious, with a sweet smile, beautiful eyes, an artistic sensitivity and many more.

"Ah'm not sure. Ya know boys never were mah type of people..."

"I'll come only if they're cute."

"What about ya, Kitty? I bet ya don't care about them bein' cute or anythin'?"

Break. Explanation. Pinkie and I were famous in the CAM for being the best friends in the world, arms linked together and laughing out loud through the corridors, even when the others were a bit embarrassed by our antics. This was how we started to say that we were as silly as the youngest Bennett sisters of "Pride and Prejudice". Ever since, Big Mac has decided that Pinkie would be Lydia, because she was more likely to elope with some random cute guy and I were to Kitty. Hence that strange other nickname, soon adopted by Fire Streak as well and sometimes even by Coloratura.

After reflection, I think it would have been better if I chose to be compared to the eldest Bennett sisters. And of course, I would have been Elizabeth... No, I can't picture Pinkie being Jane. Well, whatever!

"What type of restaurant is it?"

"The type where they serve Mac and Cheese."

"Coming!"

Yeah, it was that easy to convince me to go to a restaurant. All you had to do was to deliver some magic formulas such as "mac and cheese", "vegetarian lasagna" or "curry".

Big Mac smiled satisfyingly before he took Fluttershy's hand and left the room. Of course, if I came that meant Pinkie would come as well, and Rarity too since we couldn't seem to be able to do something without the others for as long as we were within the walls of the school.

But once done with our material correctly put away, the obvious popped right into our eyes. It was going to be another crazy journey going through town with bags and heavy instruments. Especially my heavy instrument. One of the disadvantages of playing cello was that you often knocked people as you passed them by, it took a lot of room in the subway train, making people mad at you and it ruined your back when carried around.

Thankfully, our teacher was still in the class as well.

"Can we leave our stuff here? We go back there after lunch, anyway."

"No problem. I'm going to lock that class actually."

Though Rarity decided to take her bag anyway because quote such a treasure had to be shown to the world, with Pinkie, we didn't hesitate any longer and left everything we could in the classroom, except our wallets and phones.

As we went through the doorstep, I had a glimpse at Thunderlane who was in the back of the class and I saw that he was staring at me. Maybe he wanted also to try and ask Big Mac out and wondered what would I say about it. I didn't know and I didn't care but I also didn't like the way he was looking at me.

But no time to react. My phone rang and just like each time, I rushed to pick it up. That could be Soarin, and I didn't want to miss any opportunity to hear his voice, even for a few seconds.

"Why can't you pick up the phone immediately? Damn! I always think you're not going to answer at all!"

Obviously, this wasn't Soarin. It was Coloratura, the gentlest girl on Earth.

"Hi. Yeah, I'm fine, thank you," I answered with a hint of irony.

"Yeah, sorry! But you haven't picked up the phone quickly, it worried me. Hanging out with me on Friday? Queenie Yacht club, as usually."

"Rara... I like going out with you but it's also stressing me out. I spend way too much timebeing the third wheel, looking at some kind guy French-kissing you. It's totally NOT awesome!"

"Oh, come on... Be a deary. I'll pay you tons of mojitos."

"I'll think about it," I sighed.

"Great, great, I just can't wait! This is going to be amazing. See you on Friday, Dashie!"

"Hey, I haven't said yes! And don't "Dashie" me"! Rara!!!"

Too late, she had already hung up. It always was the same with her. She knew I had a strong temper, so in order not to let me win the arguments, she cut them short before I could even reply. Sometimes I thought she would be an excellent manipulative psychiatrist. And sometimes, not so much.

"This Coloratura has some nerves!" Pinkie told me as we were walking faster to join the others.

Caught red-handed with bad faith. There was a saying to illustrate the strange competition that had grown between Pinkamena Diane Pie and Countess Coloratura - the pot calling the kettle back. Deep within, they didn't hate each other, or even were jealous of each other for the friendship I gave them. It was a matter of two egos fighting. I could understand that, I am the champion of ego fights. I hate that when something resisted me and I hated when someone was challenging the loyalty of my friends.

But you know what I hate the most, out of losing? Being taken for a fool and having no control whatsoever over any aspects of my life.

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Today was the day of the CAM's tradition known as The Blooming of Flowers. The whole school had to dress formally in order to welcome potential students - girls wore cocktail dresses and boys wore suits. A great day for everyone including me. And I was excited but I was also pretty much upset. On the previous day, I had lost something that was really important to me, and which had the potential of a bomb.

When I came back home, I emptied my bag like I usually did. I searched and searched and searched deep through it, even spilling everything on the floor and there was no trace of my notebook. You know, this notebook, the one where I've written down every detail of my story with Soarin, where I hid our pictures, his letters, where I copied his emails and his text messages. I finally kicked each of my school items yet it didn't help me finding back this precious notebook. There were many things inside it that couldn't be in anybody's hands. Sold to a rag, it would become an incredible weapon to destroy both my life and Soarin's. I was very scared this time, because if I couldn't get my hands on it, I feared something terrible would happen.

It was a day without classes, because everything we were supposed to do was revolving around promoting the school and more precisely promoting our instruments. I had other things to do, things that were at least as important as looking for the notebook. Yet, just in case, I wanted to check whether I wouldn't have forgotten it in the last class I had, where the girls and I had left all our things on the day before, during lunch.

Of course, the room was empty. I crouched and started to look all over the place. There was some kind of stairs with music stands and behind that, chairs and seats in the amphitheater style, so we could go from theory to practice more easily.

There also was a grand piano at the center of the room, along with a black board on the wall. I tried to make sure I looked in each corner, under each piece of furniture or music stands... Who knew where it could have been now? All that I was sure of was that my teacher hadn't found it. My only problem was that I wasn't fast enough because of the way I had to dress. High-heel shoes and a tight black velvet dress, a type of clothes I wasn't quite used to. I rather wear comfortable shoes and comfortable outfits.

Suddenly, as I was half-lying under the grand piano, trying hard not to stain my pretty dress, I felt a presence in the room. Well, in fact, I saw leather luxury shoes, indicated a male presence.

"Who is it?" I asked, still crouching under the instrument.

A face appeared in front of me, crouching as well, as it answered.

"It's Thunderlane."

And the devil smiled at me. Never again had I noticed how much I hated his smile. It felt so hypocrite and dishonest.

"Are you looking for something, Rainbow Dash?"

"I'm not," I answered coldly. "I'm counting chewing-gums under the piano..."

He smirked, obviously understanding that I was mocking him. He didn't seem to be much annoyed and I really thought he would just leave after this typical "Munday" response. Yet, he didn't. Instead, he stood up and looked for something inside what I thought was his guitar case. Meanwhile, I tried one more look under the tables. Maybe I'd missed something...

"Isn't it this, you're looking for, by any chance?"

At first, I said to myself he was going to make some dubious joke or something. But as I looked up, stunned, I could only notice he was serious like cancer. And he had my notebook.

I knew I swear to loathe him eternally but I couldn't act ungratefully. He surely didn't know how much what was in his hands was precious to me. So, I smiled warmly at him as I stepped in his direction, with my arm stretched.

"You found it. Thanks..."

"I haven't found it. I stole it to you!"

Wait, what? I thought I was in the middle of a nightmare or just that I had turned completely deaf. Why would that guy steal some random notebook in my bag? How could he know it wasn't just the item with which I composed music, for example? The only thing I was sure about was that the boy was insane. Completely out of his mind.

Stepping nearer, I stretched out my arm again, this time trying to snatch it off his hands. Problem, I was too small, even in high-heel shoes, my dress was to tight and those damn shoes, precisely, were the worst enemy that kept on making me wobble. He pushed me a bit farther, keeping me at bay, and opened a page randomly.

"This has been very instructing... My favorite page must be the one with the photo booth picture. You can make very good funny faces!"

I didn't know what to say. I usually was very verbal about myself but this time, I couldn't utter a single word, or even a single syllable. Thunderlane made the most of it, a jubilation painting his face in a completely different shade of malice. He turned the notebook in front of me, high enough so I couldn't catch it and showed me the pictures, before he started to leaf through it again.

"At first," he said with arrogance. "I thought it was some stupid groupie collection. I was disappointed since I didn't think you were the type of girl to idolize an actor. But then I understood I was wrong when I stopped on the letter."

He turned the notebook again and showed me the letter Soarin sent me on Hearts & Hooves Day. I clenched my jaws and my fists, cursing The Blooming of the Flowers for having me all dressed up like that, thus preventing me from acting the way I wanted. His manipulation started again, before he finally closed the book, always making sure I would never be able to get it back without a fight.

"I've spent a great deal of the night reading it. It was very captivating. I wonder how you managed to get a famous boyfriend, though. Give me your secret, I'd really like to meet that girl from your boo's franchise, that Sunset Shimmer."

"Having not enough silly fans at your feet, loverboy? Give it back to me!"

His arrogance was at its climax. A little bit, and I swore I would hear him moaning from pleasure. I thought I was the most egotistic person in the world before I met persons like him and Filthy Rich. When noted how much I loved the man, it was easy to guess how I regarded Thunderlane.

"Alright, I'll give it back to you... There's one condition, though..."

"One condition? How about I smash your head and you'll give it back to me?"

"Oh no, that would be too easy. This is no bluff, little girl. I have covered myself with a few photocopies. Who do you think I am?"

"Some little bastard?"

I was so mad at myself. I should never have let things in the class knowing that creep was lurking around. Now I was in a big trouble and there was nothing else I could do than yielding to his demands, just in case he wasn't lying and really had copies of my notebook, which established clear evidences that Soarin Skies was dating a girl. A not famous girl.

Thunderlane didn't wait for my approval and simply said what he had in mind.

"You got to convince Rarity to date me!"

"How could I do such thing? Rarity doesn't care about you and she's in love with someone, she'll never accept that."

"Well, too bad for you, little girl. I'm sure Equestria will be thrilled by the content of this notebook. Or not. Remember, I can ruin your life and maybe even your bae's career. Think about it... But if you're sure Rarity won't accept, make the ultimate sacrifice. Date me and I'll give it back to you."

If there was a justice in the world someone would have sent a grand piano right on his head. But we know it, there's nothing like divine justice. Nothing happened to help me and I was cornered. I just had to submit to that jerk's will. Who said blackmail only appeared in Films Noir? I felt like I were Edward G. Robinson in "The Woman in the Window", but more glamourous.

"What do you mean by date?"

"Just what it is. One date, with me... Restaurant, movies, a stroll, whatever! I could even let you choose. All I want is a date."

I tried to think about it, although I knew I had nothing to think about. It wasn't as if I had any choice. There was no way I could avoid what was happening, in true Film Noir fashion. I was at the mercy of fate.

"Alright. One date, one single date. And no tricks! I hang out with you and you give my notebook back to me, and the copies. All the copies. Or I swear I'll smash your face so much even your mother wouldn't recognize you."

"Got yourself a deal, sweetheart! See you tonight, then."

Tonight? I couldn't even have time to get mentally prepared to what I considered to be some kind of cheating. Unable to hold my frustration back anymore, I shot out and hit the wall with my fist. It hurt but it hurt less than my feelings. I hated him and I had to spend one entire evening with him, face to face.

And the worse was that, back then, I thought I couldn't fall any deeper, that this was the bottom. Guess I was very naive.

===============================================***========================================

It was lunch break and Big Mac, the girls and I had group reunion. Not that I didn't intend to take on my responsibilities, but I needed their advice. It was impossible for me to take Thunderlane's word for it and I couldn't let that happen. I had to make sure he wouldn't stab me in the back.

"Ah can't see what ya can do," Big Mac sighed.

"She's very much comforted thanks to you, darling," Rarity replied with her very particular sense of repartee.

The cafeteria was packed. There was enough noise around us to ensure that no one would pay much attention to what we were saying.

With potential students all around, the CAM had made big efforts to convince them, so today's menue was more refined and tasty that what it usually was. There had been a moment, a little before my miscarriage (even today it feels strange to say that), I had less appetite and I had trouble eating four meal a day. But after I discovered I also had anemia from chlorosis and a lack of vitamin C, I started to eat properly again and now my appetite was back like in the good old days. Except on the precise day. This whole story had me so stressed I could barely have a bite of my carrots and zucchini pie.

"Maybe I have an idea," Pinkie Pie suddenly declared, getting out of an usual silence.

So if Pinkie had been silent for minutes, it was because she was thinking hard, not sulking. I was afraid something was wrong and I hadn't noticed it because I was too caught up in my own problems.

"I hope your idea's not that a grand piano would fall on his head. I already thought about that."

"No, that wasn't my idea. It could have been though, I like it," she said, pausing. "But no!"

We burst out laughing. We were the only ones of the table laughing, the others looking at us with a collective shrug. Sometimes, they tended to forget that Pinkie and I were very likely to laugh about very silly things. Probably because we are both rather silly. Lydia and Kitty, remember?

"Haven't you met another guy who signed a contract with Mr. Filthy Rich?"

"Why, Cheese Sandwich? What's the connection?"

"Oh, it's very easy. Surely he knows what someone would risk by dilvuging such a secret, wouldn't he?"

"Yeah but he's not very famous," Fluttershy said. "Maybe he doesn't know."

"Maybe... But though, I can try. Who knows? It could work. Pinkie Pie, you're a genius!"

I grabbed my phone inside my bag and did Cheese Sandwich's number. After I had met him in a club, we met again. I wanted to thank him for at least trying to help me and I invited him to join me with Coloratura at a concert. It was cello so they both found it very boring but ever since, we were friends. Or at least, good acquaintances. He was very nice and much fun, and I sensed that if Pinkie and him could meet, they would make an explosive pair.

After a few seconds, he finally picked up the phone.

"Hello. Who is it?"

"Hello, Cheese. Doing fine? I hope I'm not bothering..."

"Oh, Rainbow Dash! I'm feeling great! Thanks. And you're not bothering me. What are you calling me for?"

"In fact... I'm sorry if that sounds a bit sudden or rude but I really need a favor."

"I haven't seen Soarin at all if that's about him. Mr. Filthy Rich is always behind his back!"

I swallowed a lump in my throat, but tried my best to push that information in the back of my mind. This was not the topic. Not really.

"Well, it's Soarin-related but it's not about, em, seeing him. Actually, I was wondering... When Filthy Rich became your agent, you've signed a contract, right?"

"Of course. Everyone signs this, it's the law."

"Is there a particular clause about those selling secrets to a magazine or anything like that?"

"There's one. I don't like complicated sentences like this but my parents have hired a lawyer who read it entirely and told me the person and the magazine could be arraign and it can be asked a lot of money of them."

"It's perfect! Could you send me this part by email? I really need it urgently."

"Yes, I can do that... Is there anything wrong?"

I couldn't embarrass him with the details. And it was my mistake, I had to fix it myself, though with a bit of help.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just for me. Maybe I'll sign such contract one day, but in the music world, see..."

"Alrighty. I send this to you as soon as I've lunched."

"Thanks. You're the best."

"You're very welcome. I'm always happy to help."

If I could, I would have screamed of joy and danced all around the cafeteria. I had it. The key to escape the trap I had got into. Everything was not won yet but I was close.

The Extra-Quick Lunch

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This was the plan: tonight, I was going to be the sweetest, kindest, even the sappiest girl of the world with Thunderlane. He had to be in absolute self-confidence that his little schemes were working and that I was fascinated by his genius and athletic figure. "Don't let him know you despise him", Pinkie have kept on repeating me. Towards the end of the dinner, I was going to give him a taste of a dessert à la mode Filthy Rich with a copie of the contracts his recruits have to sign, talking about what were the risks in case of a scandalous leak, especially about a private matter. I also had made a few small researches of my own and found it I could arraign him as well, for violation of privacy.

None of us had a computer with them and so this had been a bit difficult to get the copy while in the school, but we didn't have enough time to make it once home. The computer room's supervisor kept staring at us, in case we would go to social medias, which was forbidden in the school. It was thanks to Fluttershy that we finally succeeded. Since everybody thinks butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, we often made her do things she would have been too shy or too polite to do otherwise. I like to think we helped her grow, in a sense.

I was at the restaurant with that moron of Thunderlane. He had dated many girls from the school but strangely, none of them were part of his bunch of crazy fans and I thought I started to understand why. It surely would have betray his legend.
I was bored to death, worse than in front of a movie by Nora Ephron (have you ever seen one? The epitomy of sap!) He really thought he had it all when all he was saying was uncool and cliché, his jokes were lame and his talking points were pointless. And I told myself that the guy couldn't read. Many times I said how excited I was to go to Paris. So the moron thought I would be pleased if he brought me to an English restaurant. Yes, he couldn't tell France from England and even told me it was the same anyway because it was in Europe. Yeah, and us Equestrian are Guamian, or why not Japanese? It's on the same parallel, after all. I wanted to throw my stack of paper at his face.

"You really like Ted Browning's movies, right? I've seen his most famous one, once, in High School. "Freak Show" or something like that..."

"Name's Tod Browning, not Ted. And it's just "Freaks", actually."

"Yeah, right. It was creepy"

Of course, you simpleton! It's a horror movie, it's supposed to be creepy!

Also... Lost! Buzz! My favorite director has always been and will forever be Orson Welles. I was seriously starting to think him illeterate. I knew I never said nor written that Tod Browning was my favorite director. I might have made a list and I was pretty sure he wasn't a part of it, obviously, since I haven't seen tons of his movies. But I decided to lie to him anyway, for if I kept on correcting him with my jaw clenched he would never think his plan was working and I were to forget about my boyfriend. Who knew my tastes by heart, at least. (And I know his, like his favorite director being Steven Spielberg and his favorite movie "Back to the Future")

"That's it! You're right," I said with a smile as sincere as I could.

"I was stunned to learn you liked old movies, I thought you were more into action flicks with CGI like it's in fashion now."

Spoiler alert: CGI movies are what I consider as the lowest form of art. Just my personal tastes. Which seemed to be as foreign to him as the lands in Africa. Meanwhile, he kept on talking and me on pretending I was listening, drawing lines in my mashed sweet potatoes.

"But I'm not really surprised, in fact, since a lot of the stories you write for that magazine happens in the 20s and everything."

"You've read my stories?"

"Not really. Let's say I took a look at the magazine's website and they were saying you wrote "vintage adventures"."

So, he took a look at a website and then thought he knew everything about me. Interesting. I was slowly starting to understand. It wasn't that he was an illeterate who couldn't read English but that he was so self-centered and confident about his charms and looks that he didn't make any efforts to be charming or nice. I had literally met my master, I should bow down to him. I know my ego takes a lot of room and that I am sometimes a little too self-absorbed but at least, I was really interested by what my friends thought or liked, not only by my reflection in a mirror. I was aware the whole world wasn't revolving around Rainbow Dash whereas that guy probably thought the sun was here exclusively to light up his face.

"I heard you plan on playing Brahms' Sonata n°3 for the gala... It's a little academic, don't you think?"

What I thought? Buzz! You lost again! I never intended to play Brahms' Sonata n°3 at all! The girls and I had planned on a version with piano and flute of Kodaly's Solo Cello Sonata opus 8, and it was enough work to transform that solo sheet into something for other instruments for me not to be mistaken on that neither.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get over with it as quickly as possible. The dinner wasn't over yet but something needed to be done. In order not to make him turn suspicious, I added honey and sugar to my tone and told him I needed to go to the ladies' room and I was eager to come back.

"Don't move, I have a little present for you. You're going to like it a lot."

It was important that I got together and didn't show too much excitement. Maybe he could mistake it for the excitement of being in his company but I had to be cautious. Hence the stroll to the toilets. I didn't need to pee, nor to powder my nose, like Rarity would say, I just needed to breath out in order to be calm and collected when the moment would come.

When I came back, I grabbed the papers linked together by a straple, but at the last moment, I decided to take a few more spoonful of my English dinner. I haven't noticed that there was a sauce blend with the mashed sweet potatoes and the vegetable steak of peas and carrots. Whatever it was made of, it tasted so delicious I almost ate it all.

"So... What's my present?" Shrek's Prince Charming asked impatiently.

"Now wait a minute. This sauce is awesomely good."

Really, I didn't know what this taste was but it added something exotic to the sauce. I never had eaten anything like this before.

"Can I get my present now?"

Suddenly, something changed. The sauce started to... be spicy. And my stomach bit me from the inside. I tried to act casually but it happened to be impossible. My stomach hurt too much, like I were about to throw up. Thunderlane noticed it finally and gave me a funny look.

"What's wrong? You're very pale. I mean, paler than usually."

"I don't know... I want to throw up... It's..."

No, not only this. My skin was itchy. I looked at my plate of mash sweet potatoes and steak. And suddenly, something stroke me. When I ordered, I asked not to have sauce.

"What did you do with my dish?"

"I did nothing. I just thought you'd like to taste this raisin and almond sauce, that's all!"

Almonds? To call this guy stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit him. I've worn dresses with higher IQs!

Among the food I could't eat because of my allergies, almonds and every nuts were at the top of the list. Strictly forbidden. I never knew why but it seemed like my whole body loathed nuts. They were my kryptonite, the music that made my brain explode. Not only was I highly intolerant but I was also allergic to it and it made my stomach reject it and my skin reject it and my mouth and tongue reject it and I would be lucky if I didn't die from choking on it.

And it did happen! I wanted to snatch my skin out of the rest of my body and I was feeling my tongue swelling. The want to throw up was stronger than ever. I couldn't keep on acting nice anymore, I had to scold him, as long as I could speak coherently.

"You're a dirty moron!! I'm super allergic to nuts!"

"I didn't know that! You could have told me!"

"I thought you've read my notebook entirely. Liar!"

Clearly, if he had done so, he would have known. It was written down many times, because Soarin always asked me whether it was okay regarding to my allergies when we were going to eat somewhere.

"What should I do?" he screamed, panic-stricken.

I was really starting to be gross. Writhing in pain next to the table, paler than ever, I kept on scratching my face though I knew it wouldn't help my condition. What was he waiting for? That I died?! Thankfully, there were costumers in the restaurant that approached us and asked whether I needed an ambulance.

"Say yes and make them call a doctor, you numbskull!"

Truth was, with my swollen tongue, it sounded more like this " 'ay 'e 'n' 'all a 'oc'or, ou um'sull" which was probably why he looked at me puzzled with a silent "what?". I knew I was going to throw up before anyone called a doctor or an ambulance. But it wasn't what worried me the most... I really started to believe I was going to die and a panic took over me. For the first time in ages, I had tears rolling down my cheeks in public, but not from mental pain, from literal physical pain.

Thunderlane scrouched and tried to make me lie down as advised by one of the persons around us. This was exactly when the drama happened. I gave him a present, like expected, though not the one he truly expected and threw up directly on his immaculate white luxury shirt. Just went to show that all things come to those who wait.

=============================================***====================================================

Call that a good year! I had been tricked with phone numbers, sent belittling text messages, I had a surprise miscarriage though I used both condom and the pill, I had been blackmailed and I almost died from suffocation on a disastrous date which had me back to the hospital!

I had a very bad night, ill as f*ck until they got me morphine. MORPHINE! As I woke up, my tongue was back to normal but my lips still had something very Angelina Jolie-like. But the most embarrassing detail of it all wasn't even that. It was the thousand of red dots that covered my face and my body. They might be less itchy but they weren't less visible. In short, I was a complete mess and still had no idea when I would be able to leave the hospital. It was the same than the one I'd been sent to during my miscarriage and they had to check a few things before they could let me go.

The first time, I had been lucky that, under my express begging, they hadn't told my father. This time I knew I wouldn't escape it. Someone needed to pay the fees and I obviously couldn't pay it for an undefined length of time. My luck would had been if Soarin texted me and told me he could see me only between six and seven at downtown Canterlot!

I was dwelling on it and mentally hitting on people since I couldn't do much physically when someone knocked on my room's door. All I could see when the door opened was a huge plate of pastries. From behind it suddenly emerged Pinkie's face. She was followed by Rarity and Fluttershy, who didn't say much but listened a lot, the way she always did.

"Oh, poor darling!" Rarity cried. "What happened to your pretty face?"

"Leftovers of Quincke's edema and well, obviously, pimples..."

Rarity looked mighty puzzled. Sometimes I tended to forget that people who had the chance not to suffer from allergies didn't know these medical terms.

"Extreme allergic reactions?"

"Yes, certainly," she answered with an embarrassed smile on her face, rearranging the pillow behind my back.

"Thunderlane's really an idiot!" Pinkie Pie claimed, sitting beside me on the bed. "Like my sister Maud would say, the light was on but there was nobody home!"

Fluttershy remained speechless but giggled with a hand hiding her mouth. She was so sweet my teeth hurt. No wonder Big Mac was head over heels for her. Sometimes I thought she really was like a pearl among peas when with us!

"Anyhow," Rarity continued. "We have a few good news for you, darling."

"And one maybe-not-so-good news," Pinkie Pie concluded. "Which one do you want first?"

"Good news, please! So I could still have hope about the future."

"Okay, so, first... Since you puked on him, Thunderlane's no longer in love with you and doesn't want to date you anymore!"

"He said he didn't want to date again with a sequel of "The Exorcist" movie," Rarity added.

"Yeah, especially as this one's movie's really bad!"

Maybe this was why I had dreamed of her on the night before Soarin stepped into my life. It had no relation with Soarin, it was in connection with what had happened with Thunderlane, like a warning two years too soon.

"Secondly, he won't sell your secret to anyone."

"We showed him the contract and explained him how much he could pay for "invasion of privacy". He didn't get the joke."

"Finally, last but not least, we have your notebook."

Fluttershy searched through her bag and got the notebook out of it. Instinctivly, I held it close to my heart from the moment I had it in my hands. While the girls kept on talking, I checked whether nothing had been stolen or taken away, in case of guarantee or just for the pleasure of asking me money, next time.

"And what's that maybe-not-so-good news, then?"

They looked at each other in a way that had nothing reassuring. Suddenly, my hands went damp and I swore I had a lump in my throat as big as a badly cut piece of potatoe.

"Well, if you can't get out of the hospital quickly enough, you... You'll probably won't be able to go to Paris."

"No, not this!" I screamed theatrically, with my hands in the air. "Why me? We worked so hard to have the best party and go there, I can't... It's like... Like working really hard to get an audition and on D-Day, you have sprain your wrist."

"Or like preparing your wedding and being dumped three days before," Rarity added.

"Or nagging your boss to get a promotion and having a positive pregnancy test on the day he says yes," Pinkie Pie concluded.

Fluttershy remained silent but shook her head as a sign of approval. I was glad I had her at least not to rub it in.

"This is why you're going to get better quick," she finally said. "And you'll be there for D-Day."

"Yes, exactly."

"Yeah about getting better," Pinkie intervened. "We met the nurse who gave you the antidepressants. She nagged us to make sure we would oblige you to take it if you're feeling bad. She wanted to check so I took care of it."

"What did you do?"

I could see that, suddenly, Fluttershy's face turned really grave and I even thought I saw what looked like tears in the corner of her eyes. It wasn't made to comfort me much. When Pinkie says "I take care of it",you know she could be up to anything, or almost anything.

"We gave them to wild cats that were hanging around the hospital, in cat's food."

The worse was that Pinkie seemed to be really proud of her silly decision.

"They kind of..." Rarity trailed off. "How would you say it? Blew a fuse."

"That was fun."

"It wasn't fun!" screamed an outraged Fluttershy.

I looked at them in disbelief... then I burst out laughing. Obviously, the situation wasn't funny for those poor wild cats but this wasn't what got me laughing so much. I just realized how much I loved this bunch of girls, though sometimes we fought and though sometimes they acted foolishly - I wasn't bad at it neither, actually. They gathered around me for a collective hug and I couldn't help thinking that, without all of them, I probably wouldn't be able to be where I was right now. I owed them so much and gave them so little in return.

But the strongest feeling was that, whatever could happen in the future between Soarin and I, I would always have a soulmate with me, for they were my true soulmates.

The Happiest Days of Our Lives

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Paris was great. We went to all the most important touristic places, like Versailles, le Louvres, Notre-Dame, le Jardin des Tuileries, the Moulin Rouge, Pigalles and Montmartre, the Eiffel Tower of course and many other baroques and artistic places but the top of our visit was the National Opera. We saw Bizet's "Carmen", the great classic of Opera and it was awesome. Never before had I attend a show in such a place. There was gold everywhere and the most stunning ceiling paints I'd ever seen in my life. Rarity liked it so much she cried more than she had cried when in Marie-Antoinette's bedroom. I would never forget this trip.

Pinkie Pie and I had broken our piggy banks to buy souvenirs and gifts and our suitcases were so full we almost thought we were going to pay additional fees at the airport. I also took tons of pictures that I flooded my Instagram account with.

When I came back, I received a proof that Soarin had had my box of chocolates since he sent me a gift in return for White Day*. And it wasn't any gift. I had a DVD set of the complete works of Orson Welles. Something told me the price of this wasn't at all the double of my poor little box of chocolates. It wasn't as if I could refuse his present, anyway. At that date, I hadn't seen him for almost five months. I must admit that instead of DVDs, I would have prefered him to be there but that was already a sign that he still thought about me. And I didn't care because I had bought him tons of presents in Paris as well and I would give them to him on the day I would see him again, along with all the little items I kept buying for his return.

Of course, I had also bought presents for my father and my half-siblings and their children. There are many yet I knew I couldn't buy something for one and not for the other. I'd also had gifts for Coloratura and Daring Doo and Fire Streak and Cheese Sandwich to thank them for how they were there for me too, in the bad and in the good moments.

As for classes, we were in home stretch. After the gala, classes were going to be over and I had a promise to respect. If this promise wasn't respected, I had to go back to Cloudsdale and go to medical school. There was no way I could let such things happen, especially as it would mean leaving my friends to do something that I didn't want to do and it would also mean the end for Soarin and I. Our relationship had maybe taken a strange turn since we couldn't really say we were dating anymore with his schedule being so tight and the little time he was left to be with me but I kept on hoping one day, things would change and we could be together again, the way we used to be.

We were only two weeks to the night of the gala and already, zombies were hanging all around the corridors. Everyone had to practice again and again their piece of music and it asked an enormous amount of work and concentration, especially because we couldn't have our partitions with us. Hence the zombies. Our school now looked like a scene of "The Walking Dead" with the students of the other years being the survivors. The only difference was that nobody was shooting us.

I wanted to get a coke, in order to give me more energy but I didn't have change for the vending-machine. I stepped into the music room where my friends and a bunch of other people were practically sleeping. They all had bags under their eyes and even Rarity's hair was a mess.

"Hey!" I said after I asked three times for change with no answers. "Can I please talk to someone who wouldn't look like a white walker?"

Pinkie looked up, her face sleepy and her hair flat and tangled, and asked me half-heartedly.

"Where do you get that much energy?"

Coming from Pinkie Pie who seemed to be high on caffeine twenty-four seven this question sounded utterly ironic.

"Me? First, because I'm awesome, secondly, because I... went to Paris!"

Without another word, Pinkie Pie lowered her head and put it on her music stand, her flute in one of her hands, hanging along her body, and she resumed her dozing, as if that single little sentence had her terribly tired.

"Okay, I got it, I'm going to ask the other music room," I said before I left.

It was true. In order to increase my determination, I always watched at the pictures I took in Paris and it gave me the strength to go on. Also, I was thinking about Soarin and how proud he would be to know that I was doing my very best to reach my goals. There was also this promise that I had made and that I didn't want to betray. Otherwise, the future that would stretch in front of me would be my personal definition of a nightmare. I had to be the best.

That explained why, secretly, I had started to take the sleeping pills given by the nurse. Conversely to the others, I didn't spend a great deal of my nights playing music. I knew a good sleep would help me focus. From the very beginning, I had decided I would sleep at nights and spend most of my day playing.

To be honest, it also was because when I had no sleeping pills, I always thought about Soarin. I wondered why couldn't he call me, and was he thinking about me too and did he miss me, did he want to see me, was he unhappy or feeling good about it? It hurt me and outraged me so much I couldn't find sleep. This problem had to be treated before it could prevent me from keeping the promise that would definitely part us.

================================================***=======================================

As if by magic, zombies were no longer seen in the corridors. Instead, some were laughing. Others were crying. The school year was over, and for some, school was over, period. I had a heartache each time I thought about it but it couldn't be helped. I almost could have go for again another year at the CAM. But I couldn't, I had promised.

There were two good news. The first one, was a very good news. An excellent news, even. Pinkie Pie, Rarity and myself had been spotted by a music label. A classic music label, I have to say. Would have been even more awesome if it had been a modern music company who had noticed my potential as a rock star but they were more interested by the duet formed by Big Mac and Fluttershy - though more country than real rock. Did it matter? Not in the least. What mattered was that the man from the label offered us a two albums contract. He had the intuition that we could help him to give classic music a new lease of life thanks to our younger vision and our age. Which meant I didn't have to leave Canterlot nor to do medical school.

The other good news was more like a small triumph, a revenge given by life, or destiny, or even fate. Thunderlane had no contract by the end of the gala. It meant he had either to quit playing music either to do another year at the CAM in order to do next year's gala and maybe, attract a label or an orchestra. Served him right. You can't spend your time hitting on girls and improve your musical skills at the same time. Not in our school, anyway.

We all went to celebrate our victory at a pub next to the school.

Lyra and Bon Bon have decided to do another year at the CAM. Someone proposed something to Lyra but not to her friend and she didn't want to be parted from her "twin" so she refused the offer. They would give themselves one more year and see after that what they could do. We all knew that it meant we wouldn't see each other anymore. Our schedules would never match and they would be in another universe as ours. But we promised to keep in touch via social medias.

Within a few more weeks, I was going to be twenty-two. They were already invited to the party I would throw in my new apartment, in the Castle area, which was going to be also a house-warming party. I didn't buy it or rent it. It used to belong to my mother and it was said that it could be mine if I had a contract by the end of my studies. My father also keeps his promise too.

I had made another attempt at trying to see Soarin by asking Filthy Rich whether he could come to my birthday/house-warming party. He refused me Hearts & Hooves Day, he couldn't refuse that to me. I really wanted Soarin to be there. I needed him to be there.

At the pub we all went to after the gala, there was a corner made exclusively for those who wanted to have phone calls, in order not to bother other costumers or to see everyone with eyes on their screen, not talking to each other. They had settled small benches in some sort of boxes like a phone booth, except you had to come with your own. I really wanted to be able to speak with Soarin. In his latest letter, he wrote that I absolutely had to call him if I had a contract. It was a letter the courrier boy of the hostel gave to me as he was delivering packages to the old ladies, very short and rather badly written, with only a few words apparently redacted in secret.

It was impossible to call him directly on his private phone so I had to call Filthy Rich's secretary. Nothing told me it woud be easy. Patiently, I waited for one of them to pick the phone up. Thankfully, none of them were working for paramedics or their patients would all die before being even able to talk...

"Mr. Filthy Rich office, hello," a severe voice answered.

From that moment I knew it was going to be difficult. The secretary who had just answered to me wasn't the nice young one. It was the old bossy one.

"Hello, I'm sorry to bother you. I'd like to be connected with Mr. Soarin Skies, please..."

"You are?"

I cleared my throat, sweat on my forehead. In the hope maybe there would be some mistaken and it would work anyway, I said my name as fast as I could.

"Sorry, that won't be possible."

Holy cow!

"Wait, it's just a two minutes call, I promise I..."

"No, no, I'm sorry but I can't give him calls from anybody!"

"Wait, what? Did you say anybody?!"

She hung up at my face before I could add anything else. This time, it was worse than the text message send by a bot. It was a human being, someone tangible calling me nobody. I was no longer a burden or the stupid stubborn girlfriend who couldn't understand she wasn't from the right world. I was nothing at all. Unimportant.

Not to explode from rage, I went back to my friends in order to party. This was supposed to be a happy day, after all. We had worked hard and that work was rewarded. How many students of medical school went out of that with a contract?

As long as I was with the girls, "the twins" and Big Mac, everything was fine. I was perfectly able to joke, to smile, to laugh and to have fun. We even danced a little and sang songs at the top of our voice, with every costumers of the pub watching us, amused. The atmosphere was right, the beer flew freely and everybody was happy and looking good.

One hour later, I tried again. Once again, she hung up at my face. I went back to my friends and drank my beer. We laughed, we joked, we danced and I went back there half an hour later to see whether the tables had turned. Unfortunately, it was the same secretary and I could beg, implore, plead, it didn't change a thing.

That was how I started to alternate between the party and the calls but the more the night went on the more I stayed hanging at my phone. It was supposed to be a very happy day, I was going to stay in Canterlot with my friends, I could play music as a living, I had a place to stay and money from an inheritage. Yet again, it all had to be ruined by Filthy Rich's shadow. I knew these were his orders and I didn't know why he hated me so much. Was he in love with Soarin too, or what?

After two hours, I no longer bothered to party and instead I stayed on my phone, begging that old hag over and over again, my face red from rage, sitting on the floor of the box. I could hear my friends, having fun without me and it made me want to slap myself.

So, in a last self-destructing and masochist effort, I tried one last time.

"Mr. Filthy Rich's office, what can I do for you?"

The voice... The voice was different. Softer and calmer. The formulation was different too, a little more stammering. The old secretary had just left, replaced by the young one. Well, it was a new young one since her voice wasn't familiar at all to me. Understanding this might really be my ultimate chance, I sat up and tried to sound as cool and collected as possible.

"Good night... I'm very sorry to bother you but... Well, I'm Miss Rainbow Dash. Now I know I'm not supposed to use that number but please... Tonight, I'm celebrating a contract I have get with a record company, I've stayed a long part of the night on the phone trying to join Soarin Skies. I just want to tell him the good news like he wanted me to, that's all, I swear... So, please, please, I'd really like to speak to him."

"I could do that but..." she said with the same stammering voice. "I'm new and if I get caught by Mr. Rich, I could lose my job, you know..."

Probably something like that happened to the former young secretary. It explained why there was this new embarrassed woman. She told it in a nice way. I had wasted time but I couldn't be selfish and make her lose her job just because I wanted to speak to my boyfriend. I wasn't the only one involved now.

Yet, just when I was about to beat in retreat and thank her, she spoke again.

"Well, listen, I'm going to connect you but you'll have to be quick. If Mr. Rich calls and asks, I'll be obliged to cut your conversation without warning and I won't be able to reconnect you..."

"Don't worry. Even just a minute would be perfect."

"Alright then. Don't hang up."

"Thank you, thank you so much," I said acting as if she were in front of me.

"Don't mention it. I've been in love too, I know how it feels."

I thanked her again before a few tons played. My heart was racing like I was on a circuit and it was hard for me to make sure it wouldn't be obvious to the sound of my voice. He absolutely had not to know how difficult it had been for me to get in touch with him. Once again, he was on a promotion tour and I guessed he had other things in mind without worrying about me as well.

"Hello?"

Sandalwood was the one who answered. I could recognize his slow and "hippy" kind of voice among a million. He was obviously eating and also sounded a little sleepy.

"Hi, Sandalwood, it's Rainbow Dash. Could you give the phone to Soarin, please?"

"Yup!"

I heard him scream something like Soar' come over here, someone wants to talk to you I swear you're going to like it and I rolled my eyes. That was a rather strange way to call out a friend. Sometimes it was harder than others to picture Sandalwood dating Rarity who was, and is still, so precious and so likely to act like a drama queen (but she also had a heart made of gold, 100 % pure generosity).

"Yeah?" Soarin asked, his voice a even sleepier than Sandalwood's.

"It's Rainbow Dash, you goofball!"

No, I wasn't romantic. I was trying to sound casual, as if nothing special was and had been going on. He had to believe I was perfectly fine and not frustrated and tortured by the situation. I didn't want to add that to everything else he had to deal with. And he wasn't mad at me, anyway. He liked that I wasn't the nicest sappiest girl in the world. That was why he fell in love with me, among other reasons.

"My Dashie! How did you make it? I can't believe you made it. Filthy Rich makes everything he can so it won't be possible for us to communicate and... But let's not talk about that. How are you since... em... you know, your "health" issue?"

Of course, he was talking about my miscarriage. I had to tell him, though it had been a little late. I remember he wanted to come and visit me but Filthy Rich had refused, too afraid of the scandal it would have created if some happened to know that not only he had a girlfriend but a girlfriend who lost his baby with that.

"Much better. We don't have much time. I'm just calling you to tell the girls and I are signing a contract tomorrow with a record company."

"Classic or modern?"

"Classic. But it's okay, I'm happy."

"You'll be awesome anyway, I know it. You're the best. I'm so happy you actually did it. I hope you're partying hard."

"Who do you think I am? Don't forget I have Pinkie Pie with me, the one and only."

"The one and only," he repeated, laughing delicately.

For always the same reasons, I couldn't tell him I had spent more time hanging on my phone than having the real party. Especially as I intended to go back there and make up for loss time with a lot of beer and a lot of silly dance. But first, I had a question. A very silly question, maybe even very unlike me. But I had to ask it.

"Hey, Soarin..."

"What, Dashie?"

"Are you... thinking about me, sometimes?"

"You stupid," he answered with another delicate laugh. "Of course I'm thinking about you. All the time, not sometimes. I have you under my skin, kiddy..."

I don't know whether he wanted to add anything after that. Tone started to play again at the end of the line. Someone probably called the secretary. Tears dripped along my eyelashes, that I couldn't stop. I wasn't crying from pain, but from happiness. There was no way I could be defeated by these silly schemes that were forced on us. I was convinced that, thanks to what he said, I could go through them and even overcome them, keeping my head high. I was going to endure everything and Filthy Rich was going to be obliged to yield and admit that I was the best. The winner of the game. He wasn't done with me yet.

Carnival of Souls

View Online

Here was what my mother's old apartment looked like exactly. It was a 50 m² duplex apartment in the Castle area, at the complete opposite of Silk Street and so, of the Castle itself. Once the main door was behind you, there was a closet with a rail to hang your coats and jackets. There you were in the family room with an equipped open-plan kitchen (I had a dishwasher!). Right under the stairs, there was a very small bedroom with a very, very small bathroom - only a shower cubicle and toilets, nothing big at all. When you climbed the granite stairs, you found two bedrooms, mine and a small and very cute guest room. There was another toilets and a much wider bathroom, very modern, all in black and white and a very convinient laundry room. As I was bad at decoration, I asked Rarity to help me.

I gave her a budget taken from my inheritage and she decorated it according to both what was in fashion and what I liked. The most important was that she bought an enormous bookcase in mahogany or whatever she wanted so I could put away my huge collection of DVDs. One of the first thing that was to be seen when stepping into the living-room was that beautiful bookcase full of the most wonderful movies ever made.

I was no longer nostalgic when I thought about the CAM. Well, to be exact, I was, but I tried not to think about it too much. I just had to put up with the fact that this part of my life was over and a new leaf had to be written down.

With the girls, we already had a very well-established schedule. I woke up around eight in the morning and got prepared, waiting for them to arrive, after what we took our breakfast together and called a cab to get to the recording studio. Except a small break for lunch and some to rest our limbs, we were recording until something like five in the afternoon. After that, we went out downtown Canterlot to stretch our legs and I went back home at something like seven and a half, took a shower, ate and watch a movie or a TV show before going to bed.

The last part was the ideal but the truth was that I hardly could have a night alone since I wasn't at the youth hostel anymore. First, there was Coloratura. Her career was a standstill and she had trouble coping with the fact her manager preferred to invest his whole energy into a boysband. She was complaining a lot and drinking a lot and clubbing a lot and sometimes, it was hard to be on the right track with her. Sometimes, Daring Doo came or invited me to dinner with her fiancé. And there was Fire Streak, of course. I liked him very much but sometimes I couldn't help thinking he was taking me for a fool.

In fact, Daring Doo and Fire Streak had something in common, other than Filthy Rich. They both were going to get married this year. It had been a while since Fire Streak asked his lovely model fiancée but she took some time too before she gave her answer. I wasn't sure whether it was because she knew he was always cheating on her and if that was the case, I didn't know what took her so long. In her shoes, I would have run away.

It was going to be my birthday on the next day. Twenty-two years-old felt strange yet I was very excited. Filthy Rich promised me Soarin would be there. I just couldn't wait to see him! He was going to have a break in his promotion tour and would come at my double party before we would both go on a little trip to Fillydelphia in order to visit his sick granny. I was certain that, despite the sad circumstances, it was going to be awesome.

Everybody was going to be there too: Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy and Big Mac, of course, as well as Fire Streak, Coloratura, "the twins" and maybe even Daring Doo would pay us a visit. And I invited Cheese Sandwich as well, as a thank you for the many times he saved me when I was on trouble, especially for what we called "the Thunderlane Case". My father kept on harassing me to come to Cloudsdale but I wanted to stay with Soarin, after I hadn't seen him for so long. Maybe I was being selfish here but I didn't really care. It felt good sometimes!

===================================================***=====================================

I was getting prepared in the little bathroom of the first floor, filled up with energy. That day could be nothing but a very good day. I was going to have a party, with all my closest friends and my boyfriend, that I hadn't seen for months. In the kitchen and living-room, the girls, Big Mac and Fire Streak were working to prepare the party, under the close supervision of my own personal planners, Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich. Both had decided that, since I was the heroine of the day, I had nothing to do than to look pretty for Soarin. I just couldn't wait.

When my phone rang, I was busy doing my hair. It always was a whole challenge to brush it without mixing the colors. Rainbow hair is a rare thing, which I have always been proud of but I admit they sometimes were a hell to tame and arrange so that looked pretty. I didn't look at the name on the screen and picked up the phone, blocked between my shoulder and my cheek. I thought maybe there was someone who wanted to wish me a happy birthday though I didn't really know who.

"Hello?" I asked, smiling almost despite myself.

"Dashie..."

Only a few persons called me Dashie. One of them was my older sister, another one was dead and again another one was in the room next to mine. It could be no one else than Soarin. And it would have been a happy moment if his voice wouldn't have sounded so dreary. I only hoped his grandmother hadn't passed away...

"What's going on? Where are you?"

"Now, you mean? Well..." he said, sounding angry. "In Las Pegasus."

In other words, at the other end of the country.

"What? But... You haven't left yet? I was going to pick you at the railroad station."

"I won't be here, Dashie."

No! What was happening? It couldn't be! Obviously, his grandmother hadn't passed away or else he wouldn't have been in Las Pegasus but in Fillydelphia, with his family and he wouldn't sound so upset, but very sad.

Please... Don't tell me it is what I think it is...

"Why...?" I finally said, a lump in my throat.

"Why?"

I heard him sighing. My heart thumped so much I wanted to press my hand against it and lie down. I was shaky and nervous. If he didn't say another word, I swear I was ready to lash my frustration at the walls around me. After a silence, Soarin finally went on.

"Filthy Rich have decided to add a date of promotion in Las Pegasus. I've insisted but it was already planned and I had nothing to say. I'm so fed up with all this..."

I couldn't say a word. The stab on my back was too painful. Filthy Rich promised me. There was going to be no problem, I could count on Soarin's presence, a hundered percent sure. I couldn't breath. I wasn't the only one upset and angry. At the end of the line, I could sense Soarin was a nervous wreck. I think that was the detail which hurt me the most. To know he was suffering too.

"I don't understand why he always does that. F*ck!! I thought he was going to always act in my own interests. I thought that... maybe, if I did everything right, he would... stop with all... all this bullsh*t!!"

"I think he does that for your interests, you know. This is why he takes these decisions."

I wasn't trying to defend Filthy Rich. I still hated him with all my heart but I couldn't lie to Soarin, just to please him. He believed in Soarin's potential as a long-career actor, it was crystal clear. I didn't like what he was doing to him, what he was doing to me, but it was the truth.

That didn't mean we were putting up with it, though.

"Are you kidding me?"

"He thinks about your career. Imagine if your fans learn you have a girlfriend, it could ruin it all..."

"I don't give a f*ck about my career, Dashie!"

I was so shocked. It was the first time I heard him give way. In my mind, Soarin was a rock, as solid as a mountain, impossible to move. Yet I knew, deep inside, that he had his flaws but I needed to tell me he was strong so I could be strong too. We were a pair, the same pearls of a necklace. If one was down, the other was down too. I had to do something and reverse the trend.

"You say that but you know you do care. It's your life, Soarin, your future, not something trivial."

"Maybe but... I can't help being angry! You're important to me to and... I wanted to see you so bad."

Damn! I so wanted to cry but I needed not to give in. If he couldn't be strong, I had to be strong for the both of us although I really wanted to see him and I was furious against Filthy Rich, especially on such an important day, however I didn't want Soarin to do things he would regret.

As I didn't say anything, Soarin called me out.

"Dashie, are you okay?"

I wanted to answer but he didn't let me.

"No, of course, you're not okay, what a stupid question!"

"Don't worry, I'm fine. I got my friends with me, everything's going to be good. I can understand why you're mad, but don't worry about me. We'll see each other very soon, I know it. Have a little trust."

"But that's your birthday..."

"I told you everything's going to be alright. Do your promotion and do your best for me. Pinkie Promise?"

"Yeah, Pinkie Promise," he said, sighing. "I sent your gift, you might receive it tonight, or maybe tomorrow."

"Thank you," I answered with a smile though there still was a lump in my throat. "I have to hang up, I still have many things to do."

It was wrong but I wanted to put an end to our torture. It was too much to bear, hearing him so helpless and knowing there was nothing I could do to comfort here because he was so far away from me.

"Alright. Take good care of you, kiddy. I'll call you back."

And he hung up. I was crushed. After that, he was going to tour again and another movie was planned for him to shoot. Just like Soarin, I couldn't help wondering why Filthy Rich wanted to separate us so much, despite what I said to him. Deep inside, I knew there was another reason than the official one. Frankly, I couldn't see how spending one night at my place for my birthday would have brought any risks of danger to his career. It made me so bitter.

So, I did it again. Throwing my phone. When I went out of the bathroom I was so furious I had to explain everyone why Soarin wouldn't be here tonight that I threw it all over the room. It hit the granite of my countertop and shattered all over the kitchen, under all my friends' stunned eyes. When the phone broke, they all stopped doing what they were doing and turned around as one. I could feel a vein thumping against my temps.

Not waiting for them to do that for me, I went to the kitchen and collected the broken pieces of my phone.

A whisk in her hands, Pinkie looked at me with her sad blue eyes.

"He won't come, right?"

"Yeah..." I answered, sniffing. "Filthy Rich added a day to his promotion tour, so... Here we go again..."

"Honey, I'm so sorry", Coloratura said with her arms opened.

But I stretched my own arm and put a hand between her and me. I didn't need to be comforted and I didn't need to be pitied. I was going to overcome the pain and anger on my own. I couldn't lean on the others like I were unable to deal with my own problems all alone. It wasn't me to exhibit weakness in front of the others. I had to be strong, that's the way it has always been.

==============================================***=========================================

During the party, I wasn't completely myself. I didn't play a role or acted like the girl who knew what to do and when to push her problems aside. I wasn't completely myself because there was always something in the back of my mind, something I hated, telling me it was my right to let go and wallow in pity. Deep inside, a part of me knew I was a bit depressed. The question was whether to let that part of me speak or to shut it away. I thought no one saw it yet that kept on coming back to me with waves, each time I was a little bit too happy. Still it felt like a facade, a wall risen so that the others wouldn't read through me. I wasn't sure whether that was a bad or a good thing. What I knew was that I have always been this way. Hiding.

Thanks to alcohol, though, by the end of the party, the questions weren't that important anymore. It would probably be back in the morning, but for now they left me alone.

Cheese Sandwich had drank a little too so it was decided that he didn't take his car to go back home but sleep on my couch. Well, he could have used the guest room but he liked to fall asleep with the sound of television and there was no TV in this room.

His career was a bit of a standstill too. He could only get little contracts in advertisements or supermarket sales demonstration but it seemed Filthy Rich wasn't much eager to find a cabaret where he could show the world his skills for stand-up comedy. This was certainly because he was my friend, like some kind of punishment for colluding with the enemy.

I was wobbling all over the place, trying to gather my many gifts and Cheese was looking at me, certainly to make sure no accident would happen. I liked the fact that he said nothing. He only stared, just in case, not overly protective but not couldn't-give-a-damn. I wasn't the kind who liked being protected, like I couldn't do anything on my own. Although, obviously, because of alcohol, an accident do occur when I slipped and fell flat, my gifts so hardly gathered spread all around me.

Surely this was a moment when someone normal would curse and try to get up quickly. Instead, I burst out laughing, in the same position, in too high spirits to even move.

Immediately, Cheese Sandwich got off the couch and ran to me, in order to help me getting up.

"Rainbow Dash! Are you alright? You fell hard!"

"Oh yeah, I'm super duper okay. As long as I don't break my wrist and can play cello, I'm awesome!" I said, with rests of laughter.

"Alright, if you say it so... I don't want to sound paternalistic or something like that... Not my kind... But maybe you drank a little too much."

"Maybe? That's a fact! But it was a good idea. Now the little voice in my head is gone," I concluded, tapping my temps with my forefinger.

I didn't know why I told him the truth though I didn't say a word about it to my closest friends. There was something about him which told me I could go on and do it. He hadn't pointlessly tried to comfort me or to pity me. Perhaps it was the source of my trust in him. Also, he was under contract with Filthy Rich and knew the man, so I said to myself he was the best fitted to understand.

Of course, there was Fire Streak too. But Fire Streak wasn't here. Cheese was.

"Do you want a useful advice? If you become a famous stand-up comedian and your fans are teenage girls... Don't fall in love. Especially not with a girl who's not famous."

He smiled at me and took me in his arms. It was the first time another man than Soarin took me in his arms. It felt strange. Despite it all, I held him in return, for a friendly hug. I think it was because Cheese Sandwich didn't say a word, didn't try utter comforting words nor to lecture me. His presence soothed the pain in my heart and prevented the voice from rising up again.

"I have an idea," he said, gently getting me out of his embrace. "This is what we're going to do... You take a bath and relax, while I make us tea. After that, you'll go down and we'll chat. You'll be able to tell me whatever you want to tell me, I promise I won't try to convince you of anything. Is it okay with you?"

"Sounds like a good idea," I said, nodding.

"Come on, I'll help you."

He smiled at me and gently took my arm so I would get on my feet, leaning upon him. Then he made sure I did it to the stairs and started to gather the gifts again. Silently, I went up to my bathroom for a well-deserved bath.

The girl who would get this boy would be a lucky one, for sure.

Just like expected, I relaxed in my bath, trying to think things through in the most positive angle possible. It had always worked until then so why couldn't it keep on working? I was sad I couldn't see Soarin but there was nothing I could do. I kept thinking if I was patient and collected, one day Filthy Rich would stop playing with my nerves. I needed to think that, although it sounded a little naive.

Gosh, I miss Soarin! I thought as I put my head under the soapy water. I missed him but I also knew that Soarin wouldn't like to see me giving up on us. There was nothing else to do than hoping, anyway.

I shook myself up and went out of the bath. Cheese Sandwich was waiting for me. Dressed in my favorite pajamas with ugg-like slippers, I went down and met him downstairs where he arranged himsef a small bad with the blankets under my couch. He was sitting, watching TV when I approached him with a smile.

"Feeling better?" he asked, returning my smile.

"Much better. I sobered up," I answered with a soft chuckle.

"Don't worry. I'm a little drunk myself too. It was your birthday, you had to celebrate it, after all."

"I'm not sure getting plastered is the best way to celebrate your birthday!"

This time, I laughed frankly as I sat by his side. He quickly got back to the kitchen, grabbed my kettle and poured us some tea. When I grabbed my cup, I smelled it and immediately recognized the spicy perfume of chaï. My favorite. Good catch!

"I was wondering..." Cheese Sandwich said. "It really intrigues me..."

"Yep, what?" I asked, blowing on my tea.

"How come a girl like you ends up playing classic music? Especially cello..."

As strange at it seemed, this was the first time someone asked me this question. Not even Soarin did, since I told him straight away the first time I played cello for him.

"Oh, that's easy! My father hated that I was only attracted by "dangerous" sports and he wanted me to do something that didn't include bumps on the head or grazes on the arms. He insisted that I played an instrument. So, my mother showed me a concert of a cello player. I was really impressed but it seemed to me I would never be able to play such a huge instrument. It wasn't until I saw the movie "Love in the Afternoon", with Audrey Hepburn that I settled for cello for good. Of course, later, I've learned guitar as well but... This is how it really happened."

Everything becomes cool when it's played by Audrey Hepburn. Don't you know that?

"When I heard about the CAM, I begged my father to send me in Canterlot. It was hard, but I convinced him with a promise. And here I am now."

"Wow. I've always lived in Canterlot. I can't imagine what it's like to leave your hometown, your childhood house, your friends."

"I had no friends. Everybody hated me."

A silence fell upon our shoulders. Suddenly, I feared I went a little too far in the confessions. No wonder the atmosphere felt awkward all at once. Quick! I had to find another topic.... But finally, he was the one talking first.

"You know... Earlier you told me not to fall in love. The thing is... There's a girl I like."

"Really?"

I was surprised. Though, after reflections, I had never been really good at detecting sentimental feelings of the others. With the exception of Sandalwood and Rarity but those two were too obvious.

"Do I know her?"

"Oh yeah, you do. You know her very well."

Oh boy, please tell me it didn't mean myself! My heart is overcrowded with Soarin. I really liked Cheese Sandwich as a good friend but nothing else.

"She's one of your friends," he finally admitted, blushing like a red rose.

I never thought he could be so shy when it came to girls. Most of the time, he was some kind of wild animal, always joking and wanting to have fun, full of energy and vitality, the kind who clearly led a party. Wait, one of my friends? Who could that be?

"Is it Coloratura? All the guys are head over heels for her but don't do that. She's already Fire Streak's sex friend and she dumps boys like they were smelly old socks once she had sex with them. Except Fire Streak, of course but he's engaged with another girl, it doesn't count."

"Oh no, it's not Coloratura. She's really sexy but sexy isn't much my style."

"It's Rarity, then? I know she's beautiful and refined and all that. If she wasn't in love with Sandalwood already, I'd tell you to take your chance on her right now but..."

"Neither it is Rarity."

So I tried the name of each of my girl friends. Fluttershy? No. She's with Big Mac, anyway. Daring Doo? Come on, she's almost married. Don't tell me this is Bon Bon... Lyra, then... Each time, it was a no. There only remained one and I was so stunned.

"Holy cow! Pinkie! You have a crush on Pinkie Pie!!"

Maybe it sounded strange that I hadn't thought of her earlier. Cheese Sandwich and her had so much in common. Curly hair, a like for party, for fun and laughter, strange music and movies so bad they are good. Cakes. Yet, after Thunderlane's comment about her, I came to think it was what all boys thought about her too. This was why I tried each name before I got to hers.

Cheese Sandwich, still blushing, nodded. He really liked Pinkie Pie. And I liked this idea.

"You know, usually guys don't have a crush on her. They think she's too outlandish, too loud, that they liked girls that are softer."

"Hey, you know what they say? If you want softness, get yourself a ferret! I like outlandish girls. They're more fun."

"It's official," I said staring at him. "I'm your number one fan."

We burst out laughing. I was glad he had stayed here for the night. It was easier to stay strong when you had someone who you could laugh and chat with. Cheese Sandwich was good people and I really hoped he would be able to confess to Pinkie Pie. She couldn't find a more perfect match!

I also hoped that if he ever became famous and still was under contract with Filthy Rich, they both wouldn't have to go through what I was going through. Meanwhile... I was happy I had found a solid ally in the person of Cheese Sandwich, someone more serious than Fire Streak was at the time. Yet he would have been a good adviser if he didn't have a long porn movie where the others have a brain.

A Walk with Love and Death

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After my birthday, I called my dad and I told him I was going to spend a few days with my family in Cloudsdale. And so, he decided he would prepare a big dinner with the siblings, in order to celebrate my twenty-two years-old since they hadn't seen me for at least five years. It could sound strange that I hadn't seen any of them for so many time but they all had their schedules and own life, with kids and family of their own. Also, I always had a good excuse not to return home for Hearth Warming's Eve or other celebrations.

I really thought a return to the roots would have do me much good. But it wasn't the case. First, because I had forgotten how much that trip was exhausted. There were no direct trains from Canterlot to Cloudsdale (our railway service is old and antiquated since us Equestrian are a car nation). So I first had to take a train to Rainbow Falls, where my parents had their honeymoon and is the place at the origins of my name, to catch a bus going to Galloping Gorge and then, finally, another bus to Cloudsdale.

My family is living downtown and so it was easy to get from the bus station to there only by walking. When I arrived, I immediately went to bed and slept twelve hours in a row. But it wasn't the only problem. Since I was living in Canterlot I had taken habits that were completely different of the ones that were to be found in this part of the country. I was feeling as if I had been in feodal Japan and sold to a geisha house or something of the kind. And, since I had broken my phone, I couldn't get any call from Pinkie or Coloratura, or Cheese Sandwich or Rarity and let's not talk about Soarin. So, I spent a lot of time playing music though I was supposed to be on a break from the recording session of our album. When I wasn't playing music, I went to the DVDs stores but found their variety to be much scarce. My father was busy, as always, and we couldn't see each other that much. To think he had been the one insisting for me to come home.

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I was on my bedroom's balcony. Before I left for Canterlot, I had bought a few bonzais, the only plants I didn't let die. Needless to say that my father hadn't taken care of them at all. They were half-died and I wasn't sure I could ever get them back to health. As I was trying to save them by tearing off the dead leaves and watering them, I could see my siblings and their families arriving all at the same time.

"Rainbow Dash!!" They're here! Come on!" my father called from the kitchen.

No, he hadn't cooked anything. He had called a caterer, of course. My father had always been the kind who wanted everyone around him to do whatever he wanted us to do for him, no matter whether you were very busy or not.

"Yep, coming over!" I replied, tearing off the ultimate leaves and small branches.

"Rainbow Dash Elizabeth!! You'd better hurry up! They're all here for you!!"

Yeah, this was the awful truth. My second name, that second name we all have, though we don't even have a surname, well it was Elizabeth. My father always used it when I was to get scolded or was about to be. It was chosen by my mother because there were many important women through History and in literature that bore that name. She used to say it was the name of a strong-willed self-confident person, what she always wanted me to be.

I left the balcony, threw the leaves in my trashcan and wiped my hands on my dress. When I arrived in the hall, everyone was already here. The whole family.

So, now it's time to tell you what's the story behind my strange family, who's who and what has been my path before I arrived in the wonderful city of Canterlot. Let's go. I'd better warn you, it's not always very happy...

As I already highlighted a few times, my siblings actually are my half-siblings. And though we don't have the same mother or even father, they all regard me as their real sister.

I was born the daughter of a motorcycle champion, Windy Whistles and a gynecologist for rich people, Bow Hothoof. I adored my mother. She was bold, confident, a real rolemodel. She taught me about old movies, about classic music, about extreme sports and knitting (I know it sounds strange but I'm pretty good at knitting). Mommy, daddy and I lived very happy for a long while. I have only very happy memories from my childhood though my father was already very much taken by his work. I had to precise that he is famous in his medical specialization, he even wrote books which are bestsellers and went to television to talk about STDs and delivery. Mom was pretty busy as well, practicing and participating at races but she often took me with her. Thanks to her, as a little girl, I went to famous circuits all around the world.

But then, my mother died. It was very sudden, we barely had time to prepare ourselves to the probability of her going away forever that she was already passed out. She died from a violent leukemia. It took only six months to the disease to kill her. Have you ever watched someone sinking more and more everyday? I must have been only eight years-old when she died but I still remember everything very clearly. That memory remains painful, even nowadays, more than ten years after it happened. I guess this is why it's so difficult for me to cope with loss.

When my mother died, my dad became even busier. He kept on taking new patients, on doing researches, on appearing in the public sphere. Meanwhile, at an age where little girls are still little girls, I had to grow up quickly and do a lot of things on my own, things I should never have done so early in my life.

But, much to my surprise, two years later, he met another woman, Firefly. She was already a mother of four children and like my dad, her husband had passed out from a cancer. He met her in his office. She consulted him for her second eldest daughter, who had got pregnant at the young age of sixteen and wanted to keep the baby. They quickly fell in love and six months later they got married. Thus, suddenly I inheritated not only of a substitute mother but also of four siblings. Firefly was very much like my own mom. She was brash and highly regarding a high self-confidence and was a former champion of horse races now a commenter for radio. I really liked her. Since I was younger than any of her own children, she took me under her wing and taught me how rollerskating and snowboarding, she also encouraged me to play guitar in addition to cello and to try show jumping. Show jumping quickly became my thing and I wanted to be a professional too.

That was until Firefly died too. Not by riding a horse. Her car had been smashed by a drunken road hog, on the road back home. This was how my father suddenly became the guardian of five children.

Now that second death was a hard blow to my self-esteem. All of a sudden, my father forbade me to do anything he considered "dangerous". No more rollerskating, no more show jumping. He started to drink and sleep around, neglecting us five. My siblings, much older and united made the most of it to do anything they wanted to do. Nobody looked after me anymore. Nobody cared about what I could be doing, as long as it didn't include accidents that could injure me or worse.

I know it's going to sound crazy... But from this moment, I turned almost completely mute. I wasn't talking in school, I wasn't talking at home, I only played cello until my wrist hurt. I started to neglect my appearance, never brushing my hair and wearing worn old clothes. There was no one to buy me new things, anyway. So, of course, in Junior High School, the others started to mock me a lot. They stole my bag, threw it in the mud or in trashcans. I was called a fright, a butch, a dirty orphan. And I never defended myself. Since no one cared about me it meant I wasn't worth of any interest so what was the point?

Warned by the school board, my father decided to send me to a public school instead. These count among the worst years of my life. No one talked to me and when they did, it was to make fun of me. I never cried in front of them and that infuriated them so they tried everything to make me give up. When I had good grades, I was called a cheater - they had decided that I was stupid. I had been scorned, stolen, beaten. They especially hated that I was very good in sports and music. After each classes, I had a good beating by the book.

Then one day, a girl more sadistic than the others pushed me from the roof of our school. I made a four-stores fall and got my bottom bones broken along with my right leg. It had been trigger of my family's realization there was something wrong about us, especially since I had to make a long stay at the hospital and been obliged to circulate with a wheelchair for a whole semester. During that time, everything went back to place at home. My father regained control over my younger siblings, since the other ones were already independent. I had classes at home until I could go back to school.

When I came back, the others couldn't recognize me. I had seen a psychiatrist that had helped me a lot reconnecting with my lost self-confidence. At that age, teenagers are often very silly and can't hardly learn their life lessons. My former bullies, even the girl who pushed me from the roof tried to harass me again. Except now I fought back. I had started thai-boxing and Tae Kwon Do, I wasn't hiding my real nature anymore. Surely they grew tired of hearing me say how awesome I was and how I was the best and how I didn't care about what they were thinking about me, but they stopped bullying me. Now they were scared of me and whenever I took one talking behind my back, they would run away before I could catch them.

In High School, things were pretty the same. I multiplied extracurricular activities: cello, guitar, thai-boxing, Tae Kwon Do of course, but also ballroom dancing (I especially like Jive and Quickstep), swimming, soccer, singing and creative writing. I knew I wanted to become an athlete or a musician, preferably a rockstar but playing cello in an orchestra was fine with me as well.

By the end of High School, I was watching a TV show where my father was supposed to speak when I saw a report about the Canterlot Academy of Music. I immediately knew that was where I wanted to go. My father had his own idea. He wanted me to do a medical school, just like him and one of my sisters, who was a medical examiner (yeah, I know, it's not the stuff dreams are made of). All my life I have heard about contraception, breast cancer, STDs, abortion, periods, delivery and honestly, I didn't want to keep on hearing that for the rest of my life. I wanted to do something that I loved, that made me happy, after I had so much frustration in my life.

He finally accepted when I made him the infamous promise. I was going to study at the CAM but if I couldn't get a contract, whatever the kind, by the end of my studies, I had to come back in Cloudsdale and do medical school. He even swore I could choose the specialization and that I didn't have to be a gynecologist/obstetrician. But I'm glad I had a contract. I definitely can't picture me in medical school.

Now let me introduce my siblings. At last. My older sister's name is Surprise. Because her mother wasn't expecting her to be born so soon. Her character is pretty close to Pinkie's, liking party and cakes a lot. Actually, she's a baker. She was already in High School when Firefly died and so she settled with the boy that is now her husband when I was rather young. She has a baby girl whose name is Wild Fire.

Then, there was Spitfire. She was the one who got pregnant at sixteen. Her daughter is rather older than her cousins and is called Scootaloo. I played a lot with her when I was home, acting a bit like her big sister. She's as brash and daring as her own mother. Now Spitfire isn't married, she's too independent for that. Her job and Scootaloo take too much of her time, anyway. Oh, she's the one who's a medical examiner. I guess she works with dead people because she's too domineering with living people.

Wind Waker is the only boy of the family. His position as a male allowed him to do whatever nonsense he wanted to do. Everything my father thought was too dangerous or inappropriate for me was alright as long as he was concerned. He wasn't very nice with me when I was in my depressed state and my father had always to pick him at the police station for stealing or fighting. He's the kind who thinks women are best in a kitchen or raising children. Too bad for him he was born in a family full of strong-tempered girls who don't take sh*t from anyone. He doesn't have a real job, only doing short-term contracts, often in bars or restaurants, sometimes as a carpenter. Despite him being a real macho, he is married with a former stripper. They have a boy, Pipsqueak, the cutest little boy of the world.

Last but not least, slightly older than me, there is Misty Fly. For a long while, she hated me. I had to share my bedroom with her and she was always mean to me because Firefly was treating me like I were her real daughter. We never really got along. Everybody think she's the prettiest of the family. She was very popular at school when I was bullied and used to just ignore me, even when I became boasty and self-confident. But as she grew up, her attitude towards me changed and now everything was rather cordial though never warm. Misty Fly also has a daughter, a very young baby called Sunshine Morning, that she had with her boss, the manager of a luxury mall.

And I hadn't seen anyone since I had been in Canterlot. I had calls, messages, a few Skype conversations but nothing else. They didn't know anything about my life in Canterlot and only knew I was recording a CD with my best friends playing piano and flute. I wondered if there was going to be any change.

The Curse of the Cat People

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After my father gently asked me to put another dress on since mine was stained with soil of the bonzais, I went to the living-room where my family members were all gathered. My father was pouring a drink to everyone. Passing by Scootaloo playing a video game on her phone, whom I smiled warmly to, I sat near the coffee table in the middle of the room. Quickly, I noticed that it was difficult for me to get into their conversation. Everyone was speaking about their problems at work, or with their children and here I was, confused, not sure of what I could add to what they were saying. I was feeling rather displaced, like a mouse in the middle of wild cats.

"What do you want to drink, Dada?" Surprise suddenly called me.

I had forgotten. Dada was the nickname they gave me after Scootaloo started to speak. Rainbow Dash was long and hard for her to say, so she used to call me "Dada" and soon, all my siblings adopted it. It was the only place in the world where people were allowed to call me like that.

"I don't know... Rum and coke?"

"What? You're drinking... rum?!!" A horrified Spitfire cried.

"Hello, twenty-two, remember? It takes more than a simple rum and coke to get me drunk and acting all over the place if that's what worries you so much."

They all stared at me, stunned, as if I had said I was for death penalty for children under ten or something as serious as that. Then, my father shrugged and poured the drink I asked. And so, I got an idea in my mind. Maybe I should kill them right now by telling them that I wasn't a virgin anymore. I chuckled like a fool, just to think about it. Well... That could had been some excellent idea. If they all fainted from the revelation, I could maybe drink that bottle of liquor all alone and call Pinkie with my father's landline phone to tell her everything. Does it sound cruel if I say I was very satisfied of the picture?

"So," Wind Wake started, taking a big fistful of dried cranberries. "What's going on out there?"

"What?" I answered, looking at him.

"In Canterlot... What's going on? What do you do?"

"I'm playing music. Cello."

"I mean, what do you do that is serious?"

I squeezed my new dress in my hands. Wind Wake have always been very scornful about everything I liked, my activities and my liking of old movies and vintage. He couldn't even understand why I wanted so much to go to Paris. I breathed in in order to get together and not throwing my precious rum and coke at his face.

"I'm recording a CD and I'm paid for this which means I've turned professional. There are many people who think classic music is rather serious, you know."

"So, no medical school?" Misty Fly asked. "I thought we were gathered here to celebrate your return in Cloudsdale."

I glared at my father, who shrugged. It had never been in question that I would be definitely back and that this was why everyone was here tonight. And Misty Fly supposedly knew it, since I had sent her the same message that I sent to all the others, who seemed to be completely aware of the truth of the situation.

"Actually, I'm not. I'm here because I haven't been back since five years and I've turned older one week ago. I'll go back to Canterlot in two days. I had a contract, remember?"

"In two days!" Spitfire cried. "We haven't seen you for years and you're staying only five days..."

I looked down. They really all were thinking I was going to stay. I didn't know what they hadn't understand in my message yet I was sure I had been pretty clear.

"I'm sorry... The record company couldn't give me more than that. I can't allow myself to be lazy. It's a real work, which takes a lot of my time. It's not only a leisure or I don't know what."

"Don't be so upset, Spit!" Wind Wake said, taking another huge fistful of berries. "She likes Royalties more than she loves us, that can't be helped!"

I took a long sip of my rum and coke, under everyone stunned eyes. Conversely to what my brother insinuated, I really loved them with all my heart. But they had to understand that, just like theirs, my life was different now and that there wasn't anything they could do to hold me back where I didn't want to be, even if that was because they missed me and wanted to see me more.

But since that was Wind Wake who cast barbs against me, the way he always did, I decided there was no reason for me not to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"At least, I'm going to be paid for something that I did with my own hands, I don't work twice a year when I feel like it and my friends and father have been able to pull strings for me!"

Smash! Take that! Maybe it wasn't nice from me but it felt so good, especially as I saw Wind Wake, his mouth wide opened and all my sisters started to laugh at him and tell him he deserved it. From that moment, the rest of the night was more relaxed and I no longer had the sensation that I was in a house full of strangers. That didn't mean I wasn't eager to go back to Canterlot, with my second family, the one I have chosen myself.

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It was almost midnight when everybody had left. Conversely to what I thought at frist, the dinner wasn't as long and hard to handle as the one I had with Thunderlane. I hadn't felt like I was Sayuri from "Geisha" when she's sent to a kimono factory during the war. They didn't give me time to think about the record company, or about Soarin, or about the fact maybe I had forgotten to close the window of my bedroom before I left my apartment.

I was putting away the dishes in the dish-washer when my father arrived behind me. It wouldn't have felt much awkward if he hadn't start to stare at me in a way I couldn't quite describe.

"You look so much like your mother! The more it goes, the more..."

He never finished his sentence. I didn't know whether it was because it was too emotional for him and I guess I'll never know. After a short while, he finally sat at the kitchen's table. In my father's language, that meant we had to have an eye-to-eye conversation. So I sat down as well, staring at him too.

"Do I really look like her?"

He sadly smiled, and stroke my cheek with the same melancholy, before getting his hand off like I were a scalding hot piece of metal.

"You don't even know."

"Daddy... I think I'm going to leave tomorrow instead of on Monday. And I don't know when I'll be back. Tonight was fun, and I love you all but this isn't my world anymore. Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you, Rainbow Dash. It's your life and now I can see I don't have to interfere in anything. But still, I can't help wondering... Is it absolutely necessary that you live this life so far away?"

"It's not because it's away. It's because it's... not Cloudsdale," I admit with a sigh.

The sad truth was that I had too many bad memories here and not enough good memories to create a balance. And I had started things that couldn't be done in Cloudsdale. Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Coloratura, Fire Streak, Soarin, they all were in Canterlot.

My father took his cigarette packs and lit one. He was smoking fake cigarettes, that weren't made with nicotine but with another substance, said to be more natural. I always thought it smelled like burned leaves. But that helped him relax, he always said.

"I always knew," he said, spitting out a puff of smoke. "I knew one day you would leave, and I wouldn't be able to hold you back. Even when I made you promise to go to medical school if you failed, I knew you would slip through my fingers one day."

"I'm sorry, daddy," I said stretching my hand to stroke his. "I love you all and I don't want to hurt you but I have a life, a good life there and this is where I feel I belong. There's my friends, my job..." and Soarin "Can you forgive me?"

"I can't forgive you since I'm not mad at you at all..."

Pause. He seemed to want to tell me something but looked like he wasn't sure of how he could say it.

"Do you love someone? A boy, I mean, or anyone who you fancy..."

I wanted to answer, I swore I wanted it more than ever. If there was someone who I could let myself go with and cry without shame it was my daddy. But I didn't have that chance. His personal landline phone rang right at the moment I was going to open my mouth. It probably was one of my siblings who had forgotten something...

My father crushed his cigarette in the golden ashtray at the center, then got up to answer. I stayed where I was, waiting for this conversation to be over so we could resume ours. But he quickly came back with the phone in his hands.

"It's for you, Rainbow... A man..."

A man? Why would a man want to talk to me? I didn't know any man... Yet I took the phone and answered anyway.

"Hello?"

"Dash? It's Fire Streak!"

"Fire Streak? Why the hell are you calling me at my father's?"

"You gave me this number in case of emergency..."

"Fine. What's your emergency?" I asked nonchalantly, sure that he had nothing whatsoever urgent to tell me.

"You're invited to my wedding, in two weeks!"

What did I say?

"Wow! That's so urgent I'm pinned to my chair right now."

"Hey stop that, I'm serious! You're invited with all your friends. Even Soarin is invited, but..."

"Forget about it!" I said with a lump in my throat. "He's still touring for promotion, in a different theater every day. It won't be possible. But... Can I bring a very good friend as a plus one instead?"

I was thinking of Cheese Sandwich. He was the only boy I wanted to come with me, especially as there were no risk he would try anything. And I knew it would be a great occasion so he could grow closer to Pinkie. Weddings were supposed to be romantic, aka the ideal atmosphere for lovers to get together.

"Of course. So, how's the weather in Cloudsdale? Maybe I should have come with you."

"And try to shag my sisters? Keep dreaming, loverboy! Go there while touring and do whatever the hell you want to do when I'm not there."

"That's some good idea, Kitty. I'm going to hang up. Good luck for the rest of your stay, you boasty minx."

"Sure... Good luck for the rest of your life, you serial oaf."

He laughed than hung up. I was happy I had talked to him although it had been a little awkward. I hadn't realized but everything related to Canterlot got me very much happy. I couldn't wait to go home, all while hoping my family would come and visit me as well, one day.

It Happened One Night

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That was downright horrible. Absolutely awful. I couldn't believe I was going to parade like this. I looked like an enormous cream puff with this bridesmaid dress. And why was I even a bridesmaid? I hadn't even met the bride yet! My sensation was that Fire Streak's wife to be, Fleur de Lis, was very fond of sappy romance novels. It was a shock after you saw her sexy swimming-wear pictures for mens magazines, but as I saw this dress, I couldn't help telling myself she had read too many stories by Joanna Lindsey!

I was SO regretting I accepted to be a bridesmaid after Fire Streak insisted. I looked very much ridiculous with this frilly aqua dress. I felt like I was getting prepared for a costume party!

Coloratura and Pinkie knocked on the door of my room before getting in. From the moment they appeared in front of me we all three burst out laughing. They both were wearing that same stupid bridesmaid dress. It was a very clever move, by the way, to have her groom's sex friend as a bridesmaid. What a brilliant interpretation of the saying "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer". That was the evidence she was not as silly as some would thought.

"So," Coloratura said while admiring herself in the mirror. "It's going to be difficult to look more like an idiot! How will I even pick up if dressed like this?"

"It's only for the ceremony. Thankfully, we'll be able to change clothes for the party..."

Coloratura, true to form, was thinking of nothing else than the boys and men she would be able to seduce during the night. For a while she had tried to get her hands on Cheese Sandwich but that didn't work out much. I was even pretty surprised she didn't insist much knowing the person she was in competition with was no one else than Pinkie Pie. Who she was in competition with already regarding our friendship.

"Mah, I quite like that dress, actually," Pinkie cheerfully added.

"What a surprise..." was Coloratura sardonic answer.

"I don't care much about the dress. I can't wait for the party and the cakes. What's it going to be?"

"A wedding cake?" I asked, scratching my back. "Three parts, with a sponge cake and too much cream... I just want to go home!"

Not that I didn't like weddings. Well, I didn't like weddings, actually. A romantic atmosphere where everyone would be in love and want to cuddle each other while I would be bored to death in the middle. Definitely not my type of girls' night out!

"Oh, don't be such a party pooper," Coloratura told me. "Are you going to look like you're furious all the time again?"

"I don't look furious!"

"You already do look furious, in fact. We know you well, Dashie."

"Pinkie, please... I'm not furious! Just not ecstatic, that's all."

"Yeah, yeah, if you say so."

"Well, I mean, what else do you want me to look like, dressed like that?"

We burst out laughing. Maybe I was wrong, maybe with these two with me, this wedding would actually be much fun. Never say never, they say, uh?

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I wasn't having fun. This wedding was the epitome of bore. My suspicions about Fleur de Lis happened to be justified. Everything around me reminded of romance novels or romantic comedies, sappy and honeyed as could be. The ceremony had been pompous and long and my bridesmaid dress kept on scratching my back while I had to stay here, smiling as if I were happy to be where I was. After this, we had a dinner, very heavy, with best men speeches (guitarist and drummer from Lumiere) trying to make funny jokes. Flash news, they were better at music than they were at jokes. During this dinner, at our table, an old man shamelessly tried to hit on Coloratura and that was more or less the funniest thing that had happened.

Now was the time of the reception, like Fleur de Lis would say. In Pinkie's language, that would be time to party. Except there was no DJ playing club music but a classic orchestra. It wouldn't have bothered me much if they had played famous classic pieces but instead they were on traditional Equestrian songs. In other words, it was fun... for the eldest only, because no young persons danced except Fire Streak and his wife. It felt so awkward to think he was now a married man... I hoped it would prevent him to chase everyone with a miniskirt passing him by.

I didn't know where Coloratura was, she ran out on me earlier and I hadn't seen her ever since. Rarity was changing clothes in her room. Because she had years of ballet classes behind her, Fleur de Lis wanted her to perform something for her guests. But she didn't have dancing shoes nor outfit so they had to find her one and it took time.

Fluttershy and Big Mac were smooching somewhere, with other lovey-doveys in action. I did my best not to look at them and want to throw up... or worse, be jealous! Pinkie was with Cheese Sandwich. They weren't smooching or anything, only shamelessly flirting. Five minutes ago, he was trying to make her sit on his laps. I wondered where they were now...

I scanned the room but all I could see was Pinkie playing with a young children (easy, they more or less got the same mental age). Actually, Fire Streak had disappeared as well, no longer dancing with Fleur de Lis. Where did everybody go?

A girl with two shades of blue hair sat beside me. She looked a little like Lyra... Her haircut was a very complicated bun with braids and twists and curls and she wore a frilly lime dress, almost the carbon copy of my bridesmaid dress, but worse since the girl looked like some kind of decayed wedding cake.

"Gosh! Weddings totally are my thing! I like that so much, it feels so... romantic!" she said, leaning her elbows against my corner of table. "Don't you think so?"

"Don't f*cking kid me, weddings are crap!"

She stared at me with eyes wide opened, as if I had just said I had killed babies and ate them at breakfast. I couldn't help it, each time I saw this kind of ninnies, my anti-sap instinct took over me and I had a urge to destroy all of her illusions. I was ready to bring it up again, murdering her last hope in the eternity of true love (true love, my a**) when suddenly, someone grabbed my arm and got me off my chair.

Cheese Sandwich. What the hell was he doing? He pulled me through the room and we left the reception to stop somewhere in the corridors of the inn the party was at.

"Cheese... Have you gone mad or something? Why aren't you with Pinkie?"

"Don't ask questions. Just follow me."

Being a bit firm probably was the best method with me. A little less reluctantly, I started to follow his lead when suddenly, I had a glimpse at Coloratura, leaning against a wall. I tried to go to see her but Cheese Sandwich pulled me back. He hid us in a recess and pinned his hand on my mouth.

I won't lie, I thought then Cheese Sandwich had changed his mind and was trying to seduce me until I noticed there was someone with Coloratura - Fire Streak. All Cheese Sandwich wanted actually was to conceal our presence because something important and serious was seemingly happening. Curious, I tried to get glimpses of them. It was rather easy to hear their conversation.

"Is that really the reason why you've asked me to come here?" Fire Streak asked.

"It is..."

"Nonsense!"

Upon this word, Coloratura looked up with shining eyes and a frown. It was the first time I saw her that vulnerable and I wasn't used to it. Just like me, she was always strong and proud, never accepting anybody walk over her, especially not men.

"But you're married now. And I can't keep on doing such a thing. It's... It's wrong!"

I always thought the story of Coloratura and Fire Streak was only a matter of sex, the "no string attached" kind of relationship my friends were so fond of. But tonight, as I saw the tears on Coloratura's face, I knew it was much more than that.

"Yet you had no problem with that when I was engaged. What does it change?"

"It was a mistake from night one. I want us to stop. Right now."

A scene I would never think I would ever see unfolded in front of my eyes. And it was no movie, it was real life... Coloratura tried to leave but Fire Streak grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back against the wall. It was so unexpected I jolted from where I was. Cheese Sandwich looked down and mimicked a silent hush with his forefinger.

Back there, Coloratura was staring at Fire Streak with eyes filled with echoes of shock.

"I refuse to let you go!" he said, looking straight into her eyes.

"You had to think about it before you proposed to your girlfriend."

"Oh, please stop acting so prudish! I know very well I'm not the only one you're having sex with so your jealous stuff, it's seriously..."

"My jealous stuff? What's the name of the game you're playing now, uh?"

Coloratura pushed him too, in order to escape but once again, he pinned her against the wall, grabbing and clenching her arms.

"Listen, Rara... Maybe you won't believe me but I need you!"

Coloratura swallowed then looked straight into his eyes as well, apparently irritated.

"I don't believe you indeed!"

I saw another wave of tear washing away her face. It felt really inappropriate for Cheese Sandwich and I to be the witness of such thing. And I was so sad for Coloratura and her pain. If only I could have rushed to her and held her in my arms. If only I could be there for her the way she always was there for me, though in her own personal style.

Once more, she tried to get herself off of Fire Streak's grip but he brought her in his arms and forcefully kissed her. Right after that, Coloratura slapped his face so strong he had no other choice than to let her go. There was a pretty large red trace on his cheek. Then, Coloratura ran away but he caught her back and held her close. She fought his embrace again, though.

Because they were far from us now, Cheese Sandwich grabbed my wrist back and walked me through the corridors with him. With what happened between Coloratura and Fire Streak I completely forgot why we both were here in the first place. Though, in reality, I had never really known.

Once arrived at destination, he finally let me go and I discovered we were on a huge balcony overlooking on a very beautiful French-style garden. From where we stood, the sounds of the party were vague and even if the spot was romantic in a way, I wasn't thinking Cheese Sandwich was trying to seduce me. I could sense there was something else in his process.

"Come on," he said suddenly.

"Come on, what?" I asked, puzzled.

"From here no one would hear you, so I thought it would be the perfect spot for you to scream out loud everything that's been bothering you lately."

"Why would I do that? Have you gone mad or something?"

"Well, you're looking so furious..."

"I'm not furious!"

Why did everyone want me to be furious? It was really annoying! And I started to think about it. When completely honest with myself, I could see they all were right. I was absolutely outraged and I kept everything locked deep inside of me. That was the way I had learned to harden myself and it was very complicated to do otherwise.

"I thought if you could scream out loud, you would feel much better afterwards. And you'll be able to relax a little and party. Life's too short to spend it sulking."

A philosophy that I could understand, more than anyone. Surely he was right. Screaming out loud would do me much good.

"Come on, what you're afraid of? I won't laugh, I promise."

I got nearer of the guardrail, still a little wavering. The idea was tempting but my stupid pride kept on holding me back. Closing my eyes, I breathed out deeply and thought about all the negative things of my life. This wedding, Soarin's promotion tour and next shooting of another "The Greatest Show Off" movie meaning additional long months without hearing of him elsewhere than on TV, Filthy Rich who seemed to be particularly holding a grudge against me, so much that I sometimes felt like trash... And that strange unexpected miscarriage I just can't get out of my mind nor comprehend.

Cheese Sandwich was right, if I could scream all this out loud, it would take off at least a part of my buried frustration (not so-well buried since everybody seemingly read me like an open book). Maybe it wouldn't last but only for tonight, I could get rid of a weight crushing my back.

"I hate this f*cking wedding!!! I hate Filthy Rich with all my heart!! And I hate to be taken for a fool!!!"

I've screamed on top of my lungs, so loud my voice echoed back to me. When I opened up my eyes, I knew Cheese Sandwich had been right all along. Crazy how good it felt! I was feeling like I had threw all my worries at the meanders of this garden and that they got lost along the way.

I turned to look at him and saw him smiling at me.

"What did I say? Each time I let myself get worked up, I hide somewhere and I scream. And each time, it helps me!"

"Thanks for the tip. It's very useful."

"Well you know, it's no big deal... I have to tell you the truth. I really respect you. You're good people."

"Oh? Ah yeah, I know that already."

Of course, I was going to boast a little. Would that be me if I didn't?

"You really are one of my best friends. In a way, I can understand why Soarin's so in love with you. I mean... You're maybe a show off, a bit self-centered and sometimes unsensitive but you're always there for the ones you love and you never let anything defeat you, you're always fighting. I consider it to be a great quality."

I didn't know what I could say. Something told me a boasting sentence wasn't quite appropriate at that moment. So, I redirected the conversation on him.

"You're a very good friend too. And I have trust in you. That's why it would be great if you and Pinkie could date. You two are perfect for each other."

"Yeah, that's right!" he claimed with pride.

"So what the hell are we still doing here? Do you want some rockstar to steal her to you or what?"

Cheese Sandwich and I burst out laughing before we went back to the reception room. The beginning of the night had only been a warm-up now the real party was about to start!

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After Cheese Sandwich and I were back, we saw Rarity dancing and Fire Streak and Lumiere did a little gig. With Pinkie, we couldn't stop hopping around, singing and dancing, especially when they played our favorite song of the group, "A Story After Break of Dawn". It really enhanced the party and after that, instead of the orchestra we finally had modern music to unleash ourselves and the mood turned electric. I also really liked when, by the end of the party, they played slow jams and Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie danced together.

Coloratura hadn't come back at all and was nowhere to be found all night long. I supposed it was related to her conversation with Fire Streak and even thought she had left the place for good.

I was rather wobbly when I returned back to my bedroom. Not that I wasn't as plastered as on my birthday/House-warming party but we drank the rest of champagne with Pinkie, in order to not waste it.

Pinkie was sharing a room with Rarity and no, Cheese Sandwich and her weren't dating yet but I knew it was only a matter of time. It was so obvious that they liked each other and they were so much alike. All I hoped was that, in case Cheese would become famous, Filthy Rich would leave them alone. They both deserved to be happy.

As I said, I wasn't quite expecting to see Coloratura when I came back to the room we shared. Yet I found her dressed in a jersey, sitting on the balcony, with a bottle of champagne on her side. There was another one, empty, a little farther in the room. She obviously wasn't alright. Her eyes were red and her complexion looked off-color.

Slowly, I stepped closer to her and sat by her side. I wasn't supposed to know about her fight with Fire Streak so I tried, as best as I could, to act like I were ignorant.

"What's wrong, Rara? Are you sick?"

It felt so weird to see her this way. Usually, she was always smiling or smirking and really energetic.

"I'm such a f*cking idiot, damn!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Stop that, please, Dash! You know all about Fire Streak and I!"

Had she seen Cheese Sandwich and I when we left the spot we were hiding? My hands turned damp. She was looking in front of her, as if staring at some invisible speck of dust suspended in the air, that she was the only one to see.

"I've always promised myself I'll act with boys the way they act with us girls. You know, going from one to another, no strings attached... I was doing so great until then..."

She burst out crying. Deep inside, I've always known there was a part of Coloratura that was softer and sensitive. Human beings couldn't always be tough, and everybody had weaknesses, even myself. Especially myself. We two were the same side of a different coin. We didn't want others to exploit our hypersensitiveness so we hid it behind concrete walls and did our very best for no one to see behind them. Inevitably, there comes a moment where the concrete cracks and all the pain floods freely.

People don't cry because they are weak. They cry because they have been strong for too long.

I took her in my arms for a comforted hug but Coloratura rejected me and curled herself up. She looked like an abandoned child afraid of the dark. It hurt.

"Why have I been so stupid I have grown attached to the only one who it was a forelong conclusion with?"

"Rara... Are you in love with Fire Streak?"

She didn't answer and simply curled even more, crying, her head buried in her arms. I couldn't do or say anything. It was a bad idea to try to comfort her earlier. In these kind of circumstances, I knew that well, there was nothing anybody could do to help you feeling better for real. It would have been pointless from me. All I could do was wait for her to confess. It wasn't much but talking about what's hurting you when it hurts was a relief. It helped to put words on the feelings.

That was precisely why I rarely spoke about my feelings. It had to remain contained behind the walls.

"I should have never come to this wedding! I knew it would kill every last bit of me but... I wanted to see that with my own yes. Him. With her."

And I was annoyed because I didn't like weddings and with it, I had to endure it on my own, without Soarin to mock everyone and everything with me. I had been such a fool. Coloratura had to endure a ceremony uniting the man she loved to another woman.

I was feeling so guilty I had wallowed on myself like this when I had one of my closest friends suffering so much, right by my side.

"Do you think... they're carrying out their wedding night, right now?" she told me, rubbing her face off her makeup and letting additional furrows on her cheeks.

Then her hands went up her head and I saw Coloratura tearing puffs of hair off her head.

"It makes me so sick... F*ck it!!"

And Coloratura threw the empty bottle of champagne by her side and threw it against the wall. It was so unexpected I jolted. It was a shock, because suddenly I had a mirror of what I might have looked like on the night Soarin called me all the time and I was ignoring him, way too wrapped up in my own pain. It was really painful to see.

When smashing against the wall, a small shard of glass bounced back on Coloratura's face, right under her left eye. A tiny trickle of blood appeared. I flew off the handle.

"You're bleeding, Rara! Let's clean the wound right now!"

I leaped on my feet and went to take the first-aid kit I had spotted in our bathroom. When I came back, Coloratura was sitting on her bed with her head low. I sat by her side and started to clean the small wound. It wasn't much but it was the least I could do, taking care of her while she obviously wasn't able to, as her best friend.

While I was busy on her wound, Coloratura kept on talking to me. She needed to say everything that was weighing on her heart and it was understandable. There comes a moment in life where pain had to get off of us. Or else people would never be able to keep on going forward.

"Back in High School, when I started to see boys, I always had full control. No one ever dumped me or tried to hurt me. When I wanted to have someone, I had him and when I didn't want him anymore, I got rid of him. That's the way it was. Easy... Isn't it exactly what they do to us?"

"Well, I'm not sure, Rara. You know, conflations are dangerous."

I considered myself a feminist and I knew, as true as there were headstrong, tough, persistent, rude women that there also were men who were soft, kind and weren't so wrapped up in toxic masculinity they knew how to express their feelings. Of course, they weren't always the one you fancied or that you even met and I knew I was lucky I had. But as far as Coloratura logic was concerned, treating men the way she did was a way to protect herself. This way, if she met some jerks, it didn't matter to her, she wasn't attached. Except this time, she fell in her own trap. Life really was stranger than fiction, sometimes.

"I thought that Fire Streak was nothing but another pastime. But... Conversely to the others, he showed he care about me, he was always considerate. He wanted to talk. So, I thought... Before him, when I had a regular sex friend, we were doing our thing and at the end of the night we both went our separate way, casually."

I was done cleaning her wound but I couldn't go back to the bathroom to put the kit back in place. I didn't want to cut her off. I would never have thought Coloratura would one day confess things that intimate to me or was even able to open her heart to anyone the way she opened it with me that night.

"The first time I've slept with Fire Streak, I was expecting him to act like all the others especially since he was engaged. But he didn't... He always had compliments for me, saying I was pretty and he could fall in love with me, he was nice and affectuous and without even noticing, I... When he told me he was going to marry her, right after sex, I felt as if..."

"The world was crumbling under your feet?"

"Exactly!" Coloratura said, looking straight into my eyes for the first time.

Of course, our both situation weren't the same but better than anyone I knew how much one single declaration could erase everything you thought you knew about life and about yourself.

"That's how I understood I was in love with him. I wish I could say he was the only one to blame but I know perfectly well this is all my fault. If only I could have stopped those stupid feelings!"

I hardly swallowed the lump in the back of my throat. I knew exactly what Coloratura was feeling. I have thought the same thing on the day Soarin had to leave for New Zealand after Filthy Rich had told us we couldn't see each other the way we did before. I had learn an important lesson about that strange thing called love on that very day. Feelings can't be controled, you can't decide to use them as you please. They're the ones controling you. Like a beast to a prey, they're lurking in the bushes and wait for the right moment to go for your throat and not let go, until you're obliged to yield and bow down to them. They're your masters. And too bad for you if it hurts to death.

"Have I disappointed you?" Coloratura suddenly asked me, her eyes staring back at the horizon.

"Why would you disappoint me? I'm glad you've told this to me. It's a proof of trust. Although... There isn't much I can do."

"You listened to me. You haven't judged me nor scolded me for being a homewrecker and it's already a lot. Thank you."

"Don't thank me for this! Friends are there to help each other in bad moments. It's no big deal, you know. And you did the same for me, so it's only fair."

Coloratura finally started some kind of smile. I didn't know what her story with Fire Streak was going to be but I hoped, with all my heart, that it would get better really soon. Coloratura deserved to have a good guy in her life as well. Tonight, she showed her weakness to me but deep down, she was a strong person and I knew she would keep her head up. We all had to. What else could we do? Sinking in the depth of ocean? That's not the way we do things here!

Of Human Bondage

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Two months had passed since Fire Streak got married. We were in August. The girls and I had almost finished recording our first album and soon we were going to start promoting as well. Soarin was in Ecuador, shooting a part of the second to last episode of "The Greatest Show Off" up until October.

Routine was back on track. I was playing music all the time and only stopped to watch movies, eat, sleep and go to the gym. I didn't want to let go and be defeated, especially after I had seen Coloratura giving in. It would have been pointless, as it has always been, anyway, to cry upon my own fate.

So why was I here, sluggish in front of my cello, the bow in my hands, up in the air, like I was going blank.

Pinkie Pie was sitting beside me in our music room, staring at me with worried eyes. By the way, she wasn't dating Cheese Sandwich yet since he took his time before asking her out, though they made a few movies together, always on my good advice.

She nudged my shoulder, trying to shake me off.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"Why of course!" I said, nodding.

But I was unable to pull it together. My mind was blocked on a matter, something which popped up suddenly and that I couldn't get rid of now, like a song you hate which would always come back to you even if you do your best to forget about it.

"You're lying!" Pinkie cried, pointing her flute at me, shaking it right under my nose. "You're being worked up by something. What is it now?"

I didn't want to say it. It was stupid, it was baseless and I was ashamed of thinking such a thing. Yet, Coloratura's story had taught me something important. Sometimes it felt good to say what hurt you out loud. It wouldn't cost me a thing to try to voice my fears, for once.

"Maybe... Maybe he never calls because Soarin dosen't miss me. Or he doesn't love me anymore."

Tears were starting to rise and it took all my will to repress them. It was probably a mistake because crying would have do me some good but I didn't want that relief and although there was no one in the music room except my friends and I, well I knew there was our producer talking with the other technicians behind the window of the recording booth.

Pinkie's reaction was this one... She giggled, like a fool. Fine. Glad to see my fears were taken so seriously!

"Excuse me but it's a bitter pill to swallow. There is absolutely no doubt that Soarin's completely head over heels for you still."

"How can you be so sure? You're a psychic now? Should I start calling you Patrick Jane?"

Surprisingly, my best friend's comment was enough to get me out of my drowsiness and I had my full expressiveness already back at me. It meant that, deep inside, I knew she was right. However, only because I liked to have the last word and the gainsayer, I didn't admit it.

"Do you remember Big Mac's little sister Applejack? The one who knew Coloratura as a child?"

"Yeah, what's your point? Is she a psychic? Reading future in apple juice?"

"No... She was the caterer of a party for the launching of "The Greatest Show Off" special DVD edition, two weeks ago. They let Soarin sing a song to entertain the guests and the video is now viral on Youtube. Guess what song it is?"

"You think my name's Blanche Tyler or something?"

"Stop being so silly. It was Rainbow!"

This was the first song I sang to Soarin when he asked to hear my voice. I took my guitar and, without any other accompaniment, I just sang the words, which were everything I didn't dare telling him. Ever since, we always agreed that it would be our song. It was only accidental the song also bore my name.

I was blown away by the fact Filthy Rich let him do something like that in public. Of course, no one knew it was addressed to me and many probably imagined it was for the main female star of "The Greatest Show Off", Sunset Shimmer whom he was good friends with but that rumors said they were secretly dating. If I ever had given credits to that saying, it wasn't the case anymore, now that I knew that. He probably knew I would end up seeing this video one day and would understand the message. I was so glad.

And at the same time... I was unable not to think that it was some sort of outrage from Filthy Rich to allow this. It was supposed to please me and reassured me yet I took it like him defying me, saying "look what I can do. I control your romance, sweetie and here's the proof."

The fact remained that it had killed my whole anxiety attack, like a soap bubble bursting against a tiled wall. Soarin still loved me, and he missed me as much as I missed him. So, there was no problem? Not exactly. I couldn't help wondering how long would I be able to put up with this. Would I be able to stand Filthy Rich's wicked game much longer? The shadow of a doubt started to grow in the back of my mind...

================================================***=======================================

Each time I watched the video, I always had goosebumps. I liked it so much.

Though I was supposed to be alone tonight, Pinkie decided that she would stay to have dinner with me. Then Cheese Sandwich arrived unexpected, with Coloratura who he had met in the building's hall and a friend of a casting call. Then Fire Streak rang at my intercom a little later, with beers for everyone. A miracle happened, since Cheese Sandwich finally made out with Pinkie and both were happily busy exploring each other tonsils. Though both were in the same room, Coloratura was doing her best to forget about Fire Streak's presence and had hit on Cheese' casting call friend. When I went to the toilets for a red alert emergency, she was locking the door of my guest room.

But when I got down to the living-room again I was surprised to see that both Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich were gone too and it only remained Fire Streak, sitting on my couch with a pout, his arms crossed.

"Where Cheese and Pinkie gone?" I asked him.

"Pinkie Pie had to go back home so Cheese Sandwich offered to her a drive."

"Oh. Well, maybe I'm going to hit the sack too, then. You should do the same. It's getting pretty late."

"No, I... I want to wait for Coloratura, if you don't mind. Maybe we could hang out somewhere after that."

I frowned. Cleary I didn't know what it was up to but I knew it was playing with fire. He was acting as if Coloratura owed him anything. But she didn't. They weren't committed and she didn't have to expect anything from him, she was a free agent. He was a married man now and he had to let Coloratura turn the page and stop suffering because of him.

I crouched in front of Fire Streak and looked straight into his eyes. Something told me he wouldn't like what I was about to say but he needed to hear it from someone.

"Go back home to your wife. She's probably worried. Rara has to forget you. You really hurt her, do you know this?"

"You just don't get it, Dash. I can't let anyone else have Coloratura."

"So, maybe you had to marry her instead!"

"I also love Fleur de Lis."

"Gosh, go back home! It's the best thing to do. What are you going to do with two women at the same time? A threesome? Let's be serious. Some are all alone and sad right now in the world."

"Yeah," he said with an arrogant smirk. "And some have a man somewhere in another part of the world that they haven't seen for almost a year, how miserable they are!

I clenched my jaw. This didn't convince me I had to be nice to him. If he hadn't been my friend, I would have punch his face, I swear. Instead, I decided to Rhett Butler him. With a bit less class, though.

"You know what? F*ck you! Stay here and suffer. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!"

Upset, I went back to climb my stairs, ready to go to bed without even saying goodbye to him. I was trying to play my role as a friend and here was how he was treating me. I was expecting to hear him going away, slamming the main door with a curse but instead he called out to me.

"I'm sorry, Dash... It was mean. Please, forgive me, I didn't want to hurt you. You're right, I'd better get home. Thank you for the mental slap. I needed it."

Upon these words, he calmly left the apartment, closing the door behind him in silence. I was a bit puzzled. People suffering had very strange reactions. Love could rattle even the most watertight person to feelings. I wasn't sure whether I liked that but I had no other choice, just like any other of my friends.

I sat on the steps of my stairs and put my arms against my laps, then my chin against my wrist. I needed to think things through. I had to admit what Fire Streak say had shaken me. I hadn't seen my boyfriend for almost a year... Damn, that hurt!

There was that displeasant sensation deep inside me telling me it couldn't go on. I loved Soarin more than words could say, like I never thought I would ever love anyone, but at each hour passing by, I was feeling farther and farther away from him. I didn't know for how long I would be able to handle such a situation. I was almost reaching my point of no return, where enough was enough.

I shook my head, trying to move these dark thoughts away from me and got up to get to my own room. With a sleeping pill, I was going to fall asleep in less than ten minutes, and my mind would wander miles away from it all if dreams wanted to let me sleep peacefully.

When passing by the guest room yet I noticed something. There was no noise. Coloratura and the casting call guy couldn't be done already. I had just thought this that the door opened. Curious, I discreetly looked what was happening from behind my own door, slightly ajar.

Coloratura still had her dress on, not even crumpled and the boy was fully dressed. She muttered an apology. Casting call boy looked a bit disappointed but accepted her apologies and left without a sound, without a trace. They didn't do anything... It probably was harder than Coloratura thought it would be to get Fire Streak out of her heart.

I could only understand and sympathize.

=================================================***======================================

I didn't know why I had a dream about Soarin's little sister. Maybe that was because I had received a letter from her in the morning mail. Since I have met her during a holiday where I spent one week at my boyfriend's childhood house, she really often wrote to me. She wasn't the type of girl who really liked new technologies, or anything much social, to be honest. It already was miraculous that she even liked me.

So she wrote to me... What did her letter said? Generally, she asked news about her brother, that she couldn't see much neither, she told me about her latest readings, she explained she was trying to wear dresses sometimes, though she didn't like it but it made her mom happy. She told me what she was doing in College. She was in her first year of science, with a major in viruses and bacteries. She still liked everything very small.

I stretched my hand towards my bedside table and lit it. I had to rub my eyes for a long time before they got used to the light again. One look at my alarm clock - it was four in the morning. And yet, I had taken a sleeping pill. Something was wrong about me.

If I started to rack my brains like this, I was going to feel depressed again. Once more, I rubbed my face, but this time, in order to chase my demons away from me. My problem was that I knew now I would never fall asleep again. I couldn't play music with the advance hour but I could still read a little something. I took my glasses in the drawer of my bedside table - yes, I have glasses to read, don't laugh - and grabbed the suspense novel I recently bought.

It was the story of a young agent of the FBI that had caught a serial killer who attacked gay people and that had been very complicated to catch. She had developped a strange relationship with him, half-admiration half-hatred. Unfortunately, there was a new killer in town, a copycat and the young female agent wanted to know whether he didn't have a connection with that imitator. I was at a moment where an important plot twist made the story go in a different direction, while still being a suspense novel.

Right when I was caught in the novel and focusing completely on something else than my problems, my phone started to vibrate.

I put it next to my alarm clock. Flabbergasted, I took a glance at the time. Five in the morning. Who was crazy enough to call me so early (or so late, it depends on your perception)? I quickly thought it could be Coloratura but it was impossible because she was sleeping in my guest room, feeling blue because of Fire Streak. If she wanted to talk to me, she would have knocked direcly on my door.

I looked at the screen and it said the number was unknown.

"Hey, it's five in the morning! Some people are sleeping sometimes, you know!"

"I'm sorry, Dashie..."

I froze. No, that couldn't be. I was dreaming and my mind was tricking me. I should have been still asleep and thought I had woken up but I hadn't. I couldn't see any other explanation to that unexpected truth.

"Soar... Soar... Soarin?"

I was so surprised I couldn't even say his name without stammering. It had been so long since I had heard his voice for the last time that I wasn't used to it anymore. Like he were just the result of my imagination.

"It's late," I finally muttered.

"I know. I'm very sorry. I bet I woke you up."

"No, you didn't. Let's say I'm rather insomniac lately. But why are you whispering?"

"Actually, I... I borrowed my manager's phone while he was asleep. I'm kinda insomniac as well. I've been thinking about doing this for a while now but that's the first time I dared. There's something I wanted to tell you."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. But it was supposed to be a surprise. So, please, when it's going to happen, act as if you were surprised. Could you do that?"

"Pinkie Promise! But what is it all about?" I said, anxious yet impatient yet curious yet excited.

"Well, I heard the girls and you will have your very first concert in two months. I managed to get a ticket and an invitation to the party afterwards. It's a hundred percent sure that I'm going to be here. And we'll be the two of us after this because I finally will be on holiday."

My heart skipped a beat. I really couldn't believe it. I was going to see him again. For real. Sure a hundred percent. All my limbs turned shaky and feverish.

"Dashie? Have you fallen asleep?" Soarin asked me after a few seconds without a word from me.

"I'm not asleep! I'm trying to digest the information!"

"Does that mean you're happy?"

"What do you think? You goofball!"

I could hear him softly chuckling through the receiver. It had been so long I hadn't heard that chuckle, sweet and silly, so long I almost could feel tears in my eyes.

"Why are you insomniac? Do you have problems?"

"Well," I said with a lump in my throat. "More or less..."

"Please, tell me. I can't be here for you and it makes me feel so sick..."

"Soarin. Don't feel sick for me. You know I'm strong! I miss you a lot, it's true but it takes more to break me."

"I miss you too, you know. I don't know how I did without you... I'm a little bit tired."

"I know I'm awesome but I think you've been doing great, actually. Keep it going. Two months is not so long after the crazy years you had to go through."

"Yes, ma'am!" He chuckled again but this time I thought it sounded a little sadder. "What time is it now?"

I looked at my alarm clock one more time. Daylight had started to softly set through my lowered shutters.

"It's a quarter past five."

"My manager's going to wake up in about two hours, so I'd better find a bit of sleep so I would look fresh when he'll shake me. Don't forget to look surprised when you'll see me in the green-room of your concert."

"You'll be amazed by how good I can play surprised! Rest well."

"Please, do the same, will you? I have to hang up."

"Go," I answered, tears in my voice. "See you soon."

"See you in two months, kiddy."

He already had hung up. I stared at my phone like a fool. Whatever might happen, I would be as strong as I had been until then, for at least two more months. This way, when I was going to see Soarin again, he would find the girl he had fallen in love with, not the shadow of who she used to be, like during our last reunion.

Merrily We Go to Hell

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Two months had passed. I had been strong, faithful to my own promise. It wasn't a dream. A couple of days after Soarin's surprise call, Filthy Rich's young secretary called me to inform me they sent their agreement to Soarin's presence to Daring Doo's wedding, which was supposed to be happening one week after our concert.

The girls and I had rehearsed days and days for our concert and had just done our last run-through one hour earlier. We were a little late for hair and makeup but our manager thought we could do this on time. There was a real tension floating in the room, whether it was from Rarity, Pinkie or me. A very first concert, it was a lot of pressure even for someone as cool as me!

While someone was busy doing my hair, I tried to focus and not to think about the fact I didn't have a confirmation of Soarin's presence yet. Somehow, we were trying to ignore the clock on the wall that brought us closer to the moment where we would have to climb on a stage, for the first time in front of an audience who had paid tickets to see us, and only us. It was complicated but we could do it.

But because of this, a rock solid silence was reigning over the makeup rooms, the silence of concentration and professional consciousness...

Suddenly I was bothered by the appaling vibrations of my phone. Who was the fool who dared calling me in such an important moment? Despite my irritation, I took the call, without a look at the screen.

"Hello?" I said with echoes of soreness.

"I'm Soarin's manager, hello."

My hand clenched the phone when I heard him. The way my body tensed made the hair artist jolt and she had buried a pin in my head. Girls noticed something was wrong and looked up from their own phone to look at me, like frozen. Why was he calling me? My throat was so dry suddenly.

"What is it now?"

I heard him sigh before he stated with a foreign voice, as if he were talking to somebody else.

"No, I just can't do that!"

What the f*ck is he saying? Can't they stop their performance now? Some had to work to earn their crust!

Then ensued a whole freaky telephone cacophony I couldn't understand anything of and which seriously upset me. The atmosphere already was electric enough!

"Would it be possible to know what the f*ck is going on here?" I finally asked, my voice quacking from impatience and rage.

The manager sighed loudly through the receiver before he answered, between despair and irritation.

"Yes. It's about tonight's party. There's been a change in Soarin's schedule!"

Did that surprise me? Not in the least! From the very beginning, this whole concert and holiday thing was just too good to be true. But maybe it wasn't what I thought it was and I had put the cart before the horse.

"What change of schedule?"

"He has to be at a very important premiere in the presence of Queen Novo herself. Her daughter requested his presence or so I've been told. Mr. Filthy Rich doesn't want him to miss that for a, em, I quote, nickel-and-dime small concert!"

A what?!!

I hardly could swallow the lump in my throat. The pill was rather bitter! My heart and hands were playing drums against my skin. Suddenly, something climbed from the depth of my innards and I wanted to smash everything to pieces.

I held myself back by clenching my phone even more, so much that my hands turned blue. If I didn't do this, I could feel my brain was going to pop out of my nostrils. I was no longer at the "pissed off" level. I was on the edge!

"I'm sorry, I mean it. After this, he's going to have a few interviews and maybe some photo shoots, so..."

"Yeah, no holiday, I got it!" I answered, as rude as cheap toilet paper.

Oh yes, I have understood their message completely. There was no room for me in his life anymore. It was crystal clear. Clearer was the atmosphere itself.

"I'll say it again, I'm very so..."

His manager couldn't even finish his sentence. I had hung up to his face.

I carelessly threw my phone on a side of the makeup table and closed my eyes, focused on the work in my hair and on what I would have to do as soon as the concert would begin. Rarity and Pinkie were staring at me with anxiety, I knew but I kept my eyes closed, unshakeable.

"What's wrong, darling?" Rarity finally asked me with a gentle voice.

"Nothing. There's a joke and I'm the butt of it, once again, that's all. Our nickel-and-dime small concert isn't worth Mr. Filthy Rich interest, apparently. Who can refuse an invitation from Princess Skystar, after all?"

"So... We won't see Soarin tonight?" Pinkie Pie asked as well.

"Exactly! Come on, let me concentrate now."

We didn't have time to wallow in pity. Our first concert was going to take place in less than an hour and I needed to get together in order to be good on stage. Maybe after, I would be able to cry or smash things or punch people...

"And... What about Daring Doo's wedding?" Rarity asked.

The truth was that Rarity was in a similar situation. She hadn't seen Sandalwood since months and hadn't heard from him for a very long time since, obviously, he also was shooting in Ecuador and in all likelihood was going to be at the Queen's party as well instead of attending our concert. But it was only a nickel-and-dime thing, after all...

"I'm not sure... But I won't kid myself! And I don't want to talk about that right now. Focus, remember?"

And please, stop looking at me with pity! The only result it had was to make me drown even more under my nervousness. I've always hated to be taken by pity, it wasn't to start now and by my own best friends.

Suddenly, with no apparent reason, Pinkie Pie threw herself on the makeup table, mimicking something that might have been despair.

"No, no, no! I don't want to go through such a hell! Please, Cheese, don't be famous! I won't care if you're not a superstar! You'll be my very own superstar!"

Then, she got it together, as quickly as she gave in. We were used to Pinkie's outlandish reactions so the scene didn't surprise us a lot but the same couldn't be said of the poor hair artists! They were surely thinking we were girls good to be locked up and that Rarity was the only normal one.

"Miss Pinkie!" one of them scolded her. "You scared the hell out of me! Stop fooling around, please."

"Hey, I wasn't even fooling around! I'm serious. Okay, I call him right now and tell him it's over!"

She grabbed her phone but Rarity snatched it off her hands.

"Before it could be over, it has to start one day, darling."

Indeed. Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich weren't even dating yet. Not really. Actually, they seemed to have invented a brand new kind of relationship. They were "kiss friends". They never missed an opportunity to visit each other's mouth but they weren't a real couple, like, at all.

"Moo, it's not my fault if I'm a shy little flower!"

Upon these words, her hair artist burst out laughing and we were so stunned on the moment we all stared at her blankly, the other hairdresser included. But in fact, I could understand her. Hearing Pinkie said she was actually shy, it was really funny. Seeing we were looking at her in a strange way, the girl quickly got it together and resumed her work on Pinkie's hair (and work there is to tame that giant puff of pink curls). End of the off beam parenthesis!

Well, at least, it relaxed the atmosphre, but I was no fool. I knew that once I would be done with the concert and the party, I would have to lash out my frustration. The play couldn't last forever and a moment came in life where the actors had to leave the stage. I needed to take a decision. A serious decision.

================================================***=======================================

I couldn't know how we made it to the stage nor the details of the concert. It happened so fast and we were so concentrate we hadn't fully realiazed what it implied until we arrived backstage for the small party afterwards. Our reinterpretation of modern standards with classic music was a big success and we even received our very first golden disk. None of us had a full comprehension of what our new status was. We weren't anonymous, unknown faces among other unknown faces anymore. Of course, our fame wasn't as big as the ones of big superstar like Sapphire Shores or Songbird Serenade but in the world of classic music we had reached stardom which allowed some persons who never listened to that type of music before to discover it. Now I had fans too and if a part of me told me it was only natural because of my awesomeness another part of me still couldn't believe it. I really hoped that, up from where they maybe were, both Mommy and Firefly were proud of me.

My pre-concert tension had decreased during the party, unfortunately it wasn't anything like the reception at the Queen and ours had ended up rather early. The girls weren't really reassured to let me go home alone but in fact, I wasn't alone. When my cab dropped me off, I had a surprise in front of my building. Fire Streak was waiting for me with a bottle of champagne.

The truth was that he hardly argued with Fleur de Lis and needed to find a refuge somewhere. Seemed like I was the only one available.

He was now on my balcony, talking over the phone to a member of his band about why he argued with his wife. The reason was simple, and it always the same one - jealousy. Fleur de Lis was the jealous kind indeed and unfortunately, Fire Streak was the kind to cheat on his women all the time. His affair with Coloratura wasn't the only one he had during their engagement, though she was the latest one of the list. So when one of his former sex friend gave him a booty call, she regretably got Fleur de Lis on the phone. And a huge argument ensued, with screams, a firework of insult and broken dishes. Their neighbors might like them a lot.

If only his presence was a comfort to me. I'd tried everything I knew to calm down but nothing helped. Even champagne wasn't enough to get me in another mood. And don't think about me taking these antidepressent I had been given at the hospital about a century ago! I had emptied the tube in the depth of my toilets. I swore when the pills went in the hole and disappeared in a frenzy waltz of water and antibacterial detergent, I thought it to be very much exhilarating. I wish I could do the same with Filthy Rich. I hated him so much!

Fire Streak was still on the phone and I was on my couch. In front of me, on my coffee table, there was my phone. Soarin was surely busy partying with the Princess to this moment. And here I was, as if on my own, biting my thumbs til it bled in order not to smash my whole apartment.

I couldn't take it anymore. It had to stop... Right now. Yes, it was the only thing I could do. No other solution.

This was a bet. All this time, calling that number had been impossible. I always fell ear to ear with the answering machine and never any reply.

My hands shaky, I grabbed my phone and found Soarin's name in the call journal. There was a knot in my stomach but I was convinced that I had to do it. While the ball of ringtones started, I tried hard to swallow my tears. I was going to stay dignified, though what I was about to make broke my heart into a million pieces. It was about my survival. Either I did that, either I'd turn insane very soon.

"Hello? Dashie? What's wrong?"

It even was difficult to speak. My body was trembling so much I wondered how I could sit still. My cheeks were scalding hot, like after I ran miles.

"Dashie... You're scaring me... What's wrong?"

At that moment, I didn't even wonder why he had picked up his phone so quickly when he was supposed to be partying with royalties. All I had in mind was that I had to pursue my decision.

"Sorry... I can't do that anymore, Soarin. I... I just can't. Tell Filthy Rich he has won this time. I want us to stop."

I heard him paused through the phone. Apparently, he was moved, shocked even. But I couldn't help it, I didn't feel I was strong enough to keep going on a road which led to nowhere. I chose to be suffering for a good reason now.

"No, no, no, no, you can't do that to us. You CAN'T!"

"Why? How would that be any different than what it is now? We're never together and Filthy Rich never keeps his promises. I'm so tired..."

"No, Dashie, I beg of you, don't leave me. I need you. You know I need you. Please, Dashie."

Suddenly, Fire Streak appeared in front of me. His conversation was over but mine wasn't and I intended to do everything I could to make sure I would finish it. But when he saw me on the phone, it only took half a second for him to understand the situation.

"What the f*ck are you doing now, Dash?"

"Shut up! Mind your own business! I'm a big girl!"

"Dashie?" Soarin questioned at the other end of the line, completely lost and helpless.

"Oh yeah, really? Stop that nonsense!"

At this moment, Fire Streak pounced on me and tried to snatch my phone off my hand. It made me fall off my couch. I wanted to resume my conversation but Fire Streak stopped me one more time, grabbing my wrist so I would give up the phone. But I didn't give in. Some sort of fight ensued, during which I could hear Soarin's voice through the receiver, calling my name with dread. The whole scene looked unreal to me, as if I was living it while not living it, out of my own body. Yet I knew I was the one fighting with Fire Streak over my phone.

But everything stopped abruptly when he caught my waist to prevent me from hiding in the bathroom and made me tumble down. I let my phone go and it smashed against my wooden floor.

I got off Fire Streak's grip and crawled to my phone as fast as I could in order to outdistance him. But it was too late. I had broken another one of my many phones.

End of the conversation. End of the story.

I looked at the pieces of my phone, stunned, put out... Now it was over for sure. Even if I recorded it, I couldn't realize completely. My wrist hurt and I wanted to cry but nothing was out. Fire Streak had left red marks on my skin.

While I was frozen in some sort of second state, he had got up on his feet again and I saw him taking his own phone, tapping a number. What was he going to do? Maybe he wanted to call a doctor or something like that...

"Hello, Rara? Don't start insulting me, this is no booty call. Sit down, I have something to tell you. You're siting? Fine. Dash has just dumped Soarin and it was ugly to watch, trust me. Yes, I agree with you and this is why I'm calling you. Do you have Soarin's number? Great! Tell Cheese to call him and tell him to call me. Tell him I have tried to reason his girlfriend and she broke her phone again. Yeah, she was tough. Remind me not to fool with a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do again. Thanks a lot."

Understanding what Fire Streak had in mind, all my destructive rage came back in my blood. I still wasn't exactly myself. But I rushed towards him, hoping I would fight him again, except this time he cut me off by pushing my shoulders. I fell on my bottom. But it didn't stop me. From the moment I was standing on my feet again, I attacked.

"I have to hang up, Rara," Fire Streak said, avoiding my blows. "She's blown all the fuse of the boxes! It had to happen one day... Bye!"

He stopped the conversation and made sure his own phone was safe before catching me and lifting me. I was fighting like never before, slapping my legs and arms, trying to bite him. He threw me on the couch and attempted to calm me by pining me against it.

"Are you going to calm down? Damn, Dash! Get it together!"

"Let me go, you jerk! That's none of your business! Deal with your own life and let me ruin mine if I choose to! Have you never heard of free agent?!"

"I'm your friend and I won't let you ruin your life, like you said! You'll regret it in the morning, you know that! Come on, Dash, calm down! Stop fighting and get it together!"

But I couldn't give up and kept on fighting. I didn't know why but I had to put my whole energy into it. It had been too long since I was holding myself back and keeping my frustration to me. Now was the moment to let it run free and unfortunately for Fire Streak, the blows were for him.

"Fine, if that's how you're taking it..."

Fire Streak got up, ran to my kitchen and grabbed the bottle of champagne on the counter. I leaped on my feet, ready to pounce on him again when...

He threw the rest of the liquid at my face. It made like a shock in my mind and suddenly, I was feeling like myself again. And the realization turned my blood to ice. I suddenly took into full account what had really happened. It felt like I had been hardly punched on the face with an anvil and I was all flat just like in a Wylie and the coyote cartoon.

I froze, staring at Fire Streak.

"There, you're calmed down now?" he asked me, putting the bottle back on my coffee table.

I stared at him for one more second before I fell on my floor, as if my legs weren't able to bear my own weight anymore. Gently, he helped me to get on my feet and sat me on the couch. A few seconds later, he was busy wiping my face with a hot towel. For a short while, I mistook him for Wind Wake but it didn't last... Wind Wake never cared after me this way.

No words came out of my mouth when I tried to speak and the only thing which came to me were tears. For the first time in ages, I allowed myself to cry in front of someone. And I wasn't even ashamed. I knew I needed them to flow. Finally. I had been strong for too long.

Fire Streak put my head against his shoulder like he were my dad.

"Let it all go. It can't hurt you. Soon your boyfriend's going to call back. I hope you ruined his party. Serves him right!"

I didn't know why but this reply made me burst out laughing. Well, I laughed through my tears... But I think it was exactly what he had tried to do.

"I'm aware this is no easy situation and Filthy Rich has pushed your boundaries a little too far but you love Soarin, I know it, and he loves you too. Maybe he deserves one last chance."

No time to answer. Fire Streak's phone rang and suddenly, something stroke me. His ringtone was a Countess Coloratura song.

"Hello? Yes, she's calmer now, everything is back to normal. This girl's small but she has strength. I'm going to have sore muscles in the morning. There's something I'll have to tell you after you've talked to her."

Fire Streak gave the phone to me and before I took it he whispered to me the words "one last chance"

"Dashie? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Forgive me, Soarin. I was so frustrated I couldn't find no other way out. But I've changed my mind. Fire Streak is right. I would have bitterly regret it in the morning."

"You have nothing to be forgiven of. I know why you did this. I am the one who apologize for indirectly hurting you so many times. But I can promise you, tonight has been the last straw. I also took a decision. It was about time."

"You're not lying? I couldn't take one more broken promise. I'm no superwoman."

I hadn't boasted, said I was the best or anything like that, not after all that had happened. It also was about time that I was sincere with him. Half of my self-confidence was in fact self-convincing.

"No lie. This time is real. Could you do something for me? Rest a little."

"I'm going to do this."

"Fine. I love you, kiddy."

Sounded strange but we never had the chance to say I love you to each other. There was one time when he tried but we were cut off before the words went out. I didn't need them to know his feelings but hearing them on this weird night, it felt good and liberating. So liberating I pushed away the pride and gathered all my courage in order to give him the answer he deserved.

"I love you too. And I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Please, rest and stop thinking about that. I'm taking charge of the problem."

"How?"

"You'll see. Just trust me."

Now the conversation was done, Fire Streak took his phone back. I had forgotten he wanted to say Soarin something before he hung up.

"Next weekend it's A.K's wedding, you know that, right? Fine. I suppose you don't intend Dash to go there alone? She hates wedding so much it's heavily annoying. That's perfect. But I'd better warn you, if you don't come, I'll make everything in my power to make sure she'll get over you and forget everything about you. Am I making myself clear? Good. Upon this, good night. And... rock it, Mr. Bigg!"

And he hung up. At this moment, I realized how I forgot that Fire Streak was highly charismatic and this was why back in the days, I was one of his fans. I thought he was nothing but a womanizer yet I could see now that he had always been good people. He did many mistakes, but who doesn't? No one, exactly. And especially not me.

Written in the Wind

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Little after Soarin's call, I slept for half an hour. When I woke up it was almost two in the morning and I was lying on the couch at the exact same place where I was when I decided to break up with him. I had never been so out of sorts than tonight, not even when I was a preteen beaten up by the others. In those days, it wasn't that I couldn't stop it, it was that I thought it wasn't worth to fight back.

The bits and pieces of my phone lied on my coffee table. I was going to have to buy a new one again! Smartphone sales surely increased grossly in Equestria thanks to me. Well, thanks to Filthy Rich, rather. I clenched my fists against my gala dress. Even thinking his name hurt. Had to close my eyes and breath out to get that feeling off my heart.

I needed a good shower. The hair artists had found no better idea than to smear my hair with gel and now they looked sticky and dirty. My makeup had dripped and my poor dress, which was so beautiful when I stepped on the stage now was closer to a second-hand rag than a haute couture piece.

Fire Streak came to me, crouched and gave me a glass of fresh water.

"Do you think he's going to do it? Convince Filthy Rich that it's enough now and that he had to be at Daring Doo's wedding? What will happen if... he just can't?"

"Don't worry too much about that. I can garantee he'll be there after what I said to him. If he doesn't come, he'll lose you for real and even I won't be able to do anything to help. So he'll come. Take a sip, water's always good for the body."

There were few chances for water to do anything to me but the worse was behind me anyway. If Soarin couldn't keep his promise and wouldn't come maybe it was going to be hard for me to get over it but for now, I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to have trust and tell myself he would be here. So, I sipped on my fresh water and noticed that, indeed, it felt good. I had never noticed water was so pleasant.

Fire Streak's phone melody, Countess Coloratura's song, suddenly rang. He picked it up casually and my first thought is to tell myself maybe this was Soarin with a good news.

"Hello? Rara? What's wrong? Please, stop crying, I don't understand a word of what you say. Speaker slower. Yeah, like this."

I looked at him, while drinking on my water. What was Coloratura's problem? He said she was crying. Maybe she argued with her record company's CEO again. I pricked my ears to try to decipher the conversation but I couldn't grasp her voice. Pinkie had to give me lessons to spy discussions from the others.

"Dash..." Fire Streak said, a hand on his phone. "Coloratura's not feeling very well, she wants me to come over. Would it bother you if I let you alone?"

"No, it wouldn't. Go and see her. I'm okay."

"Are you sure? Do you want me to ask Cheese Sandwich to stay over here tonight?"

"Don't bother Cheese Sandwich at two in the morning. I told you I was okay. Go and see her. She needs you more than me."

I wasn't some little girl who needed a substitute brother to tuck me in bed. My anxiety attack was behind me now and I knew I wouldn't give in again before a very long time. Even if Soarin couldn't come at the wedding.

"In this case... Rara? Where are you? Fine. Run a bath, get a glass of wine. I'll be here in less than thirty minutes. Does that suit you? Yeah, me too. See you soon in a minute."

He hung up and put his phone back into his pants' pocket. Then he took a cigarette, lit it and grabbed his jacket left on a chair.

"I'm leaving. Are you sure it's okay? Still, I can call Cheese Sandwich, or any other friends of yours."

"Stop worrying about me. My plan is to have a shower and go to sleep. It was a hard day."

"Fine. And don't think too much," he said, pecking my forehead. "Your Soarin will be there. I'd put money on it."

While he was putting on his shoes in the hall, I called him out. He turned around, asking what was wrong.

"Nothing's wrong. I just want to tell you something. Whatever happens tonight between Rara and you... don't mess up again and try to do the right thing. If I can't ruin my life, you can't ruin yours, and hers by the way."

"Fine, Miss. How all of you say, already? Pinkie Promise!"

Then, he pecked my cheek and left.

I was no fool. I knew Fire Streak and Coloratura would be back together. It was crystal clear. So, as their friends, I had to make sure they would stop hurting each other the way they did. I didn't know what they were going to be yet I knew, for sure, things had to change and Fire Streak would have to make a choice. Having your cake and eating it too was fine for as long as it could last but there always came a time when an adult had to take full responsibilties of their actions.

I took a few steps in my apartment and sat in front of my balcony's opened doors. My curtains were now smelling cigarettes. I thought to myself I had to ask Fire Streak to stop smoking inside. And then I thought about who he was. What a complicated personality he was. Full of contradictions. He was nice yet unbearable, sappy yet a womanizer, trustworthy yet unfaithful... And I owed him so much.

=============================================***==========================================
*
One second, one minute, one hour & one day.

It didn't matter anymore. I've lost track of time and it wasn't in your arms. I was alone and my eyes were drowned. I am a tormented soul. Hypersensitive. Not even a scar.

"You say you hate me but in the end, you need me."

I don't. Not you, I need your f*cking fuel. To hear you yelling words in my ears. Please understand that I'm good to nothing. I'm using you to find my own path. Don't forget that I'm made of steal and cotton. And that my drowning eyes are sometimes fragile. My skin is pale, my lips are chapped and I have dark circles under my eyes. I'm aware of that. I'm here but it's not really me. It's over.

Nothing remains. Not a sound, even my body is silent. Are you seeing anything? Feeling anything? Are you only able of that because you're far from me? Don't lie to me. Look straight into my eyes, for once in your life.

I have the body of an innocent kid and the heart of a bruised adult. But I'm no fool even so. I had only been tricked by "happy ever after" and now my knees hurt. They're bleeding for they had scraped the asphalt for too long. I put my foot on shards of glass along the way. It breaks my bones to the spine. It hurts. When I look up in the mirror, it hurts. Who's that girl? What's that girl? How? Why is she like that? She's hurt and dead and gone. She's me; this is my body, these are my eyes and this is my tongue. Hell, I can't help it. Intense lashes flutter don't change a thing. It's me, nothing else but me. M and E.

I have nothing. I know it and I don't care. That "me" from the past is gone. And as far as the new one is concerned, it's rotten to the core, just don't try to search through the depth, it's destructive. I have to warn you that this me's a cheater. Playing with your eyes like I'm playing with my tears.

I'm tumbling down, I'm staggering and I'm falling flat on my face. I'm screaming and hell it feels good. It doesn't help but it's so f*cking good. It won't set my words free. No, it won't save me from drowning. My words and I are gone. Everything's elusive. Especially life. It's written in the wind.

I've written this text a long time ago, after Firefly's death. Once Fire Streak gone, before I went to sleep, I reread it and arranged it. I needed to express with words what I had been through, my deepest emotions, everything that I can't say. To make sure I would never, never ever feel that way again. Never.

=================================================***======================================

"Well," Daring Doo said, giving my notebook back to me. "That would make one hell of a novel. If you ever fail in the music industry, I have a conversion for you. Thanks for letting me read... Is it a diary?"

"Not really. I wrote it without thinking about it."

"I had no idea you've been through so much..."

Here! I like people who're not pointlessly empathic, those who want to lecture you about life and how much it's wonderful as if I didn't know my James Stewart movies by heart, those who, when you explained to them you wanted to kill yourself don't go and tell you 'don't you think that's a lack of courage?'. I like those who try to get in your shoes.

Daring Doo's like this. She's so smart she can read between the lines of everyone's reaction.

We were in a private lounge of Silk Street's luxury mall. Daring Doo asked Fire Streak and I to come and wait with her for the last alterations of her wedding dress to be done. When we arrived, three hours earlier, they immediately served us champagne and petit fours. Now we had jasmine tea and lemon cakes. Sometimes I tend to forget I'm friends with such huge stars.

"You know what they say? What matters isn't the fall but how you get up to your feet."

Daring Doo (I call her this way but everyone else says "A.K") looked much younger than her age but she really was an adult inside. Her maturity always striked me. I admired her so much. Out of all my friends, I saw her less than the others since she's a really busy woman but let's face it, she's the most reasonable.

I was so glad she chose us, Fire Streak and I, among all people to be the first ones to see her wedding dress completely done. It proved she really regarded me as her friend and not as a simple acquaintance. Her wedding in Fillydelphia was going to happen within three days, but she would get married at Canterlot's City Hall on Thursday.

Since I'd called Soarin on that weird night, I'd tried to focus back on the other important things in my life. I had to work on my frustration.

Back in my preteen years, when I wrote this text I'd improved a few days ago, I was this withdrawn young girl. Ever since, I overcame each of my past traumas: my mother and Firefly's deaths, my lack of combativeness, the feeling I was worthless even in my own family, my father and siblings' complete lack of interest for what I was going through, the scorn and cruelty of the other teenagers, this period of self-cutting and morbid thoughts such as 'will I suffer much if I jumped through the window?'... Until Filthy Rich came and slowly discouraged me with his wicked games.

I looked for what was good in my life and that wasn't connected to Soarin. I had kept my promise and now I was a professional musician, I lived in an awesome city, in the apartment that used to belong to my mom. It's a lot. Some people would kill to have all this. And I had friends... One by one, I focused on who they are for me and what they give me.

First, there's Pinkamena Diane Pie, aka Pinkie Pie. She's the most amazing person I have ever met. Her outlandishness, her silliness (the same as mine), her generosity, her kindness, her energy and her sense of humor are the qualities which make her my best friend, the most important person in my life. I had no friends before I met Pinkie and I never thought, when I arrived to the CAM that I would ever meet someone like her, so true and so real. I love her so much that no word could describe what she means to me.

Then there's Countess Coloratura, my Rara. Maybe she's not one of the first persons I've met here but she's very close to Pinkie in my heart, for many different reasons. Actually, she's a mix of Pinkie and myself. She can be outlandish and silly too at times but she's also a brash show off and she hides her sensitivity behind high walls of concrete. Life's sometimes a b*tch with her but when things were going down the slope, she's always been there for me. She's not selfish, she's not a coward and she doesn't run away from her problems and fears.

Cheese Sandwich also is someone I really cared about. Just like Rara, I've met him late compared to my other friends but he helped me a lot through that foggy period made in Filthy Rich. He supported me, never giving up or complaining though I know I can be a real pain in the a**, sometimes.

Daring Doo, who I was drinking champagne again with as we were still waiting for someone to tell her the dress was ready, is an important part of my life as well. Just like Fire Streak, drowsing by our side, in his very special way, though he'd spent quite a lot of time trying to hit on my girl friends and to jabber about his disastrous wedding. He happens to be more than meet the eye.

And of course, there's Rarity whose beauty inside and out always fascinated me, Fluttershy who's a real angel, the ultimate truly kind person on Earth, some sort of anti-Filthy Rich. Let's not forget Big Mac, the courageous only guy of the band whose honesty I can always count on and "the twins", Lyra and Bon Bon, who are still in my heart despite distance.

Thinking about them all helped me go through all this with my head high and now I knew I was ready to front life point blank, not aslant, not apologizing of my very existence.

A salesgirl from the boutique appeared before us and dragged me out of my thoughts.

"We're sorry for this long wait. Your dress is ready, Miss Yearling... Would you like to see it before trying it out?"

"No", Daring Doo replied, getting up. "I trust you. Can I try it on right now?"

"Of course. Do you want someone from our jewel department to show you necklaces and bracelets?"

"Yes... Can you wait a little more, Rainbow Dash? You can wake up Fire Streak."

"I'll wait. Don't worry."

She left me and followed the salesgirl in a nearby room. Meanwhile, someone came to bring us new glasses of champagne. So, I guess they wanted me to see double in case the dress would be a horrible puffy frilly thingamajig...

Since Fire Streak was now fully asleep, snoring as loud as an erupting volcano, I took my notebook and leafed through it. It wasn't the notebook Thunderlane stole me, it was another one that I bought especially for writing what I had written down. As soon as I remembered something, I took it and started to tell the story of how Soarin and I got together and what were the greatest challenges we hadn't completely overcome yet. Nostalgia was still strong when I wrote something about the CAM. I would never forget that school, the school which made me who I am today. In a way.

"So... Dash, your opinion? What do I look like?"

I looked up and discovered Daring Doo wearing her wedding dress. It had a bustier, fitted before the dress went flared but not like these awfull "Princess dresses", more like a siren tail with petticoats of muslin under the skirt. It wasn't frilly and the white flowers embroidered on it were pretty. Rarity would like this dress. It was nothing like a cream puff, like our bridesmaid gowns for Fire Streak's wedding. It was very "haute couture", as my friend would say.

"You look stunning... Do you want to have a male opinion?" I asked her, pointing Fire Streak with my chin.

"Nan, wouldn't be necessary. Let him have his beautiful dreams."

"Beautiful dreams? He's probably fantasizing about some "Playboy" model!"

Daring Doo burst out laughing before she stepped to the mirror and admired herself. There was a pearl necklace around her neck, not old-fashioned at all, very tasteful and vintage. She wiggled a bit, not quite at ease in such a dress yet. She had never been the "girly" kind, just like me. Unless her awkwardness came from something else...

"Okay, I'm nervous now."

I got off my chair and stopped to stand by her side in front of the mirror.

"Don't be nervous! Aren't weddings supposed to be happy? Well, I think they're awfully boring and dull but I guess that's different for the bride. More seriously... You're absolutely gorgeous and everyone you love will be here, just for you. What can possibly go wrong?"

"Oh, about a millon things! Thankfully, I have a wedding planner."

We both laughed for a short while, before Daring Doo turned really solemn.

"What about you, Dash? Are you nervous... about Soarin not going, I mean?"

"Why that question? It's your day, not mine!"

"Please, answer me. So I can play my role as a friend."

"I'm not nervous. I'm trying not to think about it. And I'd rather expect the worse, thus I won't be too much disappointed. Or so I hope."

"Hm, that's understandable," she paused. "Phew, I can't wait for this damn ceremony to be over! The best part is wedding night, everybody knows that."

Once again, we burst out laughing, which made Fire Streak wake up in a jolt, asking where he was with a trickle of drool in the corner of his mouth. And we laughed even more, under his sheepish eyes.

I couldn't help if Daring Doo was nervous about the ceremony and she couldn't help if I was trying hard not to think about that wedding too much. That's the way it was. But the very good thing about her was that she never attempted to comfort her friends by saying hollow commonplaces. And I would always love her for that.

Please, Don't Eat the Daisies

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Friday. In three hours, we were going to take a train to Fillydelphia. Soarin wasn't here and I had no news yet, neither. Oddly, I was rather cool and collected though I'd spent most of my day on my balcony, leaning against the railing, spying the least passersby. In vain. I knew he had my address, I sent him with my new phone and my new number. But maybe we were going to meet him at the station. Please, let him be at the station.

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Unfortunately, though I'd been waiting up to the last moment, we had to leave. In order not to renew the horror of Fire Streak's wedding bridesmaid gowns, the girls and I decided to buy our dress ourselves, right before going to the station, in a boutique of Silk Street. Not to be disturbed by our suitcases, we had gone by the station first, where we left it in luggage lockers so we'd be able to get them back once we'd leave. I know, it was a strange organization. We would really need someone who's good at it, to help us all. Don't you think so?

Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy were with me, but also Big Mac, Coloratura and Cheese Sandwich. He was very happy he'd been invited to this wedding though not because it was going to be a chance for him to meet producers and important show business persons, but especially because he hoped he was going to make Pinkie Pie his girlfriend for real.

Fire Streak would meet us directly in Fillydelphia, alone. Fleur de Lis was having a photo shoot in Hawaii and so would only be able to make it for the party, not the ceremony. I wondered what would happen with Fleur de Lis absent and Fire Streak and Coloratura left to their own devices.

During our stroll to Silk Street, right after we got out of the subway, Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie started to walk a bit behind us. I didn't dare turning around to look at them but I was craving to know what was going on.

When we arriveed at the boutique, a pretty salesgirl welcomed us warmly. We greeted her too before everybody ran through the sections, looking for the perfect dress. What I was looking for was a dress with pastel tones, but not pink (yuk!), something not too frilly or uptight.

And there she appeared in front of me, like a vision straight out of a dream. And I usually didn't even like fancy dresses! They're scratchy, they're uncomfortable, they can't be worn with sneakers, they're expensive. But this one... This one I fell in love with from the moment I saw it. It was red, it was lacy, it was from Elie Saab. It was a discount. It had hundreds of red pearls embroided on the sleeves, top and highest part of the skirt, a very thin belt around the waist and it wasn't so long I would step on it or so short you wonder whether that's a dress or a panty. It was perfect for me.

Now, did it fit me? I hope it fit me. It'd better fit me!!!

I grabbed the hanger and put the dress in front of me, looking in a full-length mirror close to the shelf. I was lost in contemplation. This baby was made for me, I wanted it like I never wanted a dress before. If there was a god...

"This one will look pretty one you. Goes well with your eyes."

The male voice that had spoken behind me made me jolt. I needed a few more seconds to come back to my senses... And I was wondering why the store had turned so silent all of a sudden, when one minute ago, I could hear my friends chirpping like they were birds in a cage.

I turned around, eyes wide opened. I hadn't dreamed. That was the right voice.

Soarin was here, right in front of me. He was smiling at me. He made it. He actually made it! Could I be dreaming?

Pinkie came behind me, grabbed my hanger on the way then got away. And I stood here like a fool, staring at him and blinking, before I finally dared stretching out my hand.

My palm stopped against his cheek. He was here. If I could touch him it either meant that he was here for real or that I'd turned definitely nuts and was having serious hallucinations. Immediately, he took my wrist and led me in his arms. Okay, I was maybe not hallucinating. Or was I?

"Soarin?"

"No, it's the Queen Mother... I promised I'd be there, didn't I?"

"You goofball!"

Upon these words, I gave him the one slap he truly deserved, while still in his arms.

===============================================***=======================================

So we went to the station after the less romantic reunion of the universe and now we were in the train to Fillydelphia. I was sitting next to the window, admiring the landscape I already knew and of course, Soarin sat beside me. In front of us, there was Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie, who was snoring louder than a plane taking off - Fire Streak's snore were sweet in comparison - her head stuck to the glass and sending puffs of air against it as she was breathing. Big Mac and Fluttershy were on the seats behind us, with Coloratura and Rarity in front of them.

Coloratura was on the phone with her brand new manager. Though she was unofficially back with Fire Streak as his official number one mistress, a few weeks ago, she dated a rather famous solo singer. Some internet sites had started to talk about her and very quickly, her videos had turned viral on Youtube. So now her record company had changed their strategy and decided to invest in a plan to make her an enormous superstar, possibly more famous than Sapphire Shores if such thing is possible. It had taken some time but her dream was finally about to come true.

However, I was upset by something. Rarity was looking very sad. Actually, we all thought she was hoping to see Sandalwood appear too but Soarin was the only one in the boutique and at the station.

His eyes were closed, his head leaning against his arms on the tablet in front of him. I gently shook him and he looked up.

"What?" He asked with a smile.

It had been something like an hour now yet it still felt strange to know he was here with me. I kept on feeling like I weren't completely awake.

"Do you think Sandalwood will make it too? Rarity probably wanted to see him."

"Well," he said, tiredly stretching his body. " Sandalwood had to meet his family first then try to find a way to have his name on the guest list. So, maybe he'll be there when we'll arrive."

"I hope he'll make it." I paused. "That's a sentence I've said too many times..."

My eyes wandered back to the window where I was staring at hills and acres and acres of corn and wheat and apples, when Soarin grabbed my hand.

"Don't worry. You won't say that again anytime soon. I've fixed everything."

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning.

"When I went to see Mr. Filthy Rich in order to ask him whether I could come to the wedding, I had some other things to tell him. It's taken all my courage but I eventually made it."

"Please, tell me all about it!"

"Well, I haven't only taken an authorization to come to the wedding and to be on holidays. I made sure that from now on, you and me could become... official, like they say. As soon as you're ready for this, of course."

"WHAT?!!!"

I screamed so loud the whole train turned around to look at us. I wasn't expecting that at all. I was so happy I was with Soarin, I hadn't even thought about the future, wanting to make the most of the present moment.

At the sound of my screaming, Pinkie Pie woke up, suddenly no longer snoring. Her eyes half-opened, she got her head straight and yelled "please, save the cupcakes!" before falling back asleep, her head now against Cheese Sandwich's shoulder, her snores louder than ever. Fine, now everybody on that train thought we were crazy... which wasn't much different of what people usually thought of us when we were all out. Of course, all this made us burst out laughing and gathered even more intentions. The eyes of the oldest persons around were piercing... Gosh, they hated us! Did we care? Not in the least, as always.

I waited for things to calm down a little before I resumed my conversation with Soarin back to where I interrupted it.

"How did you do such a thing?"

"I told you, it asked a lot of courage. He's smart and he's tried to make me hesitate and to puzzle me, as always but this time, I've stand up to him. The thing is, I had good arguments."

"Do you want to kill me? Tell them already!"

I never said I was the patient type. Among all my other flaws. But I had good reasons to be so impatient, after all. This was completely my own business.

"Some things will never change. Okay, I don't want them to change, I confess," he chuckled. "So... Where was I?"

"Very good arguments. Hurry up!"

"In fact... My contract with him was a three year contract. So it was reaching its end. Mr. Filthy Rich and I already had arguments about the project I have in sight now that "The Greatest Show Off" is said and done. I've been proposed to act in a new TV show, for Netflix, but he didn't want me to do it. So, I played his games with my own weapon. I told him that either he let me date you officially and stop his silly games either I wouldn't sign another contract with him and would go to shoot the TV show. In the end, he agreed to let us date officially AND to let me shoot the TV show. Maybe I would have been awesome too as a lawyer..."

"You really would have done this? Or were you calling his bluff?"

"Of course, I would really have done this! It's not only about you and me but also about my interest. Anyway, he tried to make me yield by saying stuff like "what do you find in that girl? She's short and flat-breasted..." or "you deserve so much more", "would you be ready to ruin your career for some random girl?". If he haven't been my boss, I would have punched his face! Maybe I should have anyway, don't you think?"

"Mah, I'll do that for you, if you want."

Would really make me feel so much better! Next time I'll go kick boxing, I'll stick Filthy Rich's picture on the bag. What a bastard! This "random girl" thing was like our concert being "nickel-and-dime", very hard to swallow. Did he think he was a superhero or something? Like, when we go to the toilets, there's a rainbow in the hole? Or maybe, he's bleeding gold.

"You'd better have defended me if you don't want to be the first one to be punched, by the way..."

"Hey, don't you think that slap you gave me was enough? Though I surely deserved it, indeed." He sighed, than spoke again. "Of course, I've defended you. I told him you weren't some "random girl" but the girl I loved and that I intended to be that way for a very, very long time. Especially as I almost lost you."

"Sorry about that," I said, still ashamed of that dreadful night, not so long ago yet so foreign.

"Stop apologizing. I told you I wasn't mad at you for that. Once again, I surely deserved it. Well, the fact remained that I don't know why but after our arguments, he looked rather... satisfied. As if he's been waiting for this for ages. He told me he agreed with everything, even the TV show. And here we are now."

"Yeah, here we are", I answered, our fingers intertwining.

It felt almost too good to be true, after all these years of hard luck. I was happy though still a little... I didn't even really know. Strange? Skeptical?

"Em... I'm sorry to meddle with your conversation," Cheese Sandwich said, leaning over to whisper. "I wanted to know something."

"Yeah, what's wrong?" I gently asked.

"Well... Do you think Mr. Filthy Rich would do that to someon else? I mean..."

He took a glance at Pinkie, sleeping against his shoulders and I immediately understood everything, without any additional information. If they started dating for real and as his career was slowly taking off, he was wondering whether my best friend would have to go through such a hell as well. Unfortunately, I didn't have the answer to this question.

"I can't tell," Soarin replied with a deep sigh. "I think it depends on many things. Look how the fact there's something going on between Rarity and Sandalwood doesn't matter much to him, despite what the circumstances seem to indicate. So, I'm not too sure."

I glanced back at Rarity, all sad again. Maybe I should try to make things better for her, like calling Daring Doo and making sure Sandalwood would be on the guest list. It was the least I could do. Just because I was out of the sh*t I'd been through didn't mean I had to act selfishly and let down my friends, especially those who supported and helped me all this time. I'd even say that it was my duty, now that everything was back in order, to help my friends in return.

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In the train, I took the excuse of a urge to pee and I phoned to Darind Do in order to ask whether it was possible to add Sandalwood to the guest list. After that, we finished our journey with no particular events happening.

We were now at the hotel where we were going to be for two entire days of party. It wasn't a small country inn, nor even some big inn for that matter but a big and wide luxury hotel where the wedding guests were the only guests. Believe it or not, it was the first time of my life that I was going to sleep in such a place. It went the same for everyone except Rarity because she's very rich and Soarin, of course (as if this movie superstar would tour sleeping in miserable shacks) and of course, Fire Streak too.

This was how the rooms were divided: Coloratura, Pinkie, Rarity and Cheese Sandwich had a single bedroom (still, a single bedroom in a luxury complex is far superior than the best room of a third-star something), then Big Mac and Fluttershy together, and of course, Soarin and I as well, in couple suits. I didn't know yet what it was going to be for Sandalwood if he eventually made it but I wassure Rarity would be more than willing to lend him a couch. Or her blanket.

We were at the fourth floor and there was a bellboy carrying our suitcases and another bellboy pushing the buttons of the elevator for us, just like in "Pretty Woman" except no one here was a prostitute, or even have 115 cm high legs.

Now this was how these two days were going to be planned. First, tonight, there would be a cocktail at the reception room, followed by a dinner then before bachelor and bachelorette parties. From now on, except in the bedrooms, couples were going to be seperated until the ceremony, in order to respect the fact the groom to be was forbidden to see his bride as well (could she wait more than one year with an agent playing with her nerves? I'd like to see that!). The ceremony would happen in the hotel's gardens and last but not least, there was going to be the moment we were all waiting for the most, especially Pinkie who was bouncing like a grasshopper, which was the party, of course.

Bellboy with the luggage showed us how to open the door on our own and when he did, I just couldn't believe my eyes. Sappy ninnies daydreaming about stupid Anastasia Steele and her stupid psychopath would kill their own family just to be allowed to sleep in such a place!

The hotel staff had arranged everything according to everyone's tastes, in a perfect mix or tradition and modernity and splendor. There were lys bunches, small boxes of chocolates on a coffee table, silky velvet couches and moldings on the ceiling. My eyes wandered until they set on the huge bed with a beautiful mellow white blanket and lovely yet sober cushions. I already couldn't wait to sleep in this. I guess Jimmy Stewart was right (did I tell you how much I love James Stewart?) - Life is WONDERFUL!

I waited for Bellboy with the luggage to put it in front of the dressing room. Once he was gone, I dashed towards the bed in order to do what was on my mind since I saw it, which was... jumping on it! Just like expected, it was mellow as I like and I could bounce on it easier than Pinkie on a trampoline. While I was having fun, Soarin had started to look all over the place. There was a fridge in a corner of the immense room and there was a whole set of alcohol sample bottles.

"It's. So. AWESOME!" I claimed while letting myself fall back on the bed, before I spread myself out. "I really like having famous friends!"

"Have you noticed you're also famous, now?" he answered, his head stuck in a closet.

"Oh yeah, it's true!"

I burst out laughing. Actually, I wasn't as famous as my other friends, or even himself but some people do recognize me and the girls too when we walk down the street. It was hard to realize because we were still able to live a normal life, though. Conversely to Soarin. When we got off the train, we noticed teenage girls staring at us and taking pictures. They didn't bother us at all yet there was no doubt said pictures must already be all over the internet now. And the most incredible was that we didn't care at all. Let the whole world know, there's nothing to fear anymore.

"Can you believe it? There's a whole set for soup and dinner in the room itself. All silver. I've never seen something like that before."

"Oh, let me see!"

I got off the bed in a hurry and ran to stick my head inside the closet as well.

"Sweet! That whole thing is more expensive than my whole dressing room."

"With all your pairs of sneakers, really?"

"Ding dong, Captain Obvious, this is silver!"

Suddenly, I had an epiphany. There was one very important room I completely forgot to take a look at. I got up and ran to the bathroom. And I swore that as I opened the door, my knees felt so weak I almost could have fall on my back. It was larger than my own bedroom, with the most incredible bath I'd ever seen, and a jacuzzi. Where was my swimsuit? Please, Rainbow Dash, you've brought a swimsuit, did you? Even if I hadn't... I was ready to go in there naked if that was what it took.

When I was back to the suite, I found Soarin in front of the dressing room, busy unpacking. I decided that would be a good idea to help, though there was certainly a bellboy for that chore too, and I crouched by his side.

"You have to see the bathroom. It's huger than a nightclub, and there's a jacuzzi. This is the most awesome place I've ever seen, or been to. I've looked in the closest, there are shampoos, shower gel, bath salts and all kind of stuff like that. Everything is from Shiseido. Do you know how expensive it is? Oh, but don't think I'm the superficial kind. I don't really care about luxury. Usually."

"Dashie... You know... I know you."

"Are you sure?" I asked, sticking my tongue out at him.

Quite unexpectedly, Soarin moved closer and kissed me. One of his hand was on the floor and the other was pressed against my cheek. I was a bit surprised but quickly, I gave in and let myself go to the feeling. As strangely as it sounds, we hadn't kissed at all since our reunion in the Silk Street's boutique. This felt awkward yet good. I forgot how good it could be.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him even closer. Thus, my whole balance now relied completely on his. I was hanging on to him as much as I could, as if there was nothing but emptiness below our bodies. This was the moment where I fully realized that this was all real. I wasn't dreaming...

What came around went around and after a while, we wobbled and Soarin fell on his back, his head inside my suitcase, a paire of socks against his forehead.

I burst out laughing and removed the socks hurriedly and we kissed again. We had a hell of time to make up for... So, our kiss quickly went from slow and languid to wild and deep and his hands dangerously went up under my blouse.

Until something vibrated inside the pocket of my jeans. My brand new phone, the very best in matter of smartphones that I hopefully wouldn't break the way I broke all the others. Cutting off our intimate moment, I sat up and answered. While I was actually sitting on Soarin's hips, he grabbed mine in a very strange manner.

"Hello? Yes, Pinkie? What, already? Well... No, no, we were... busy unpacking. We'll be here in about ten minutes. Or fifteen. Right, see ya."

I hung up, put my phone back where it belonged and spoke to Soarin.

"They're waiting for us. The cocktail will start in less than thirty minutes and we're the only ones missing. Are fifteen minutes enough to get prepared?"

"Yes... Dashie. Please, get off me now."

"Hey!" I said, punching his shoulders. "Who do you think you're speaking to?"

"To my girlfriend whose bottom is pressing against my bladder, actually."

"Oh. Right."

As soon as I was up on my feet, Soarin got up as well and ran to the bathroom, that he locked behind him. Obviously, I burst out laughing.

Pocketful of Miracles

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The ceremony was great. It sounded weird coming from me, I know. Yet, there was no other words to describe it. Oh, it wasn't because of the little girls throwing petals of roses along the aisle, it wasn't because Daring Doo's husband had wet eyes when he discovered her wearing her wedding dress, or because their vows quoted Shakespeare and Keats, not even because Rarity cried more than the groom and the brides themselves. No. There was a special guest singing while Daring Doo went up the aisle. Songbird Serenade in person.

Instead of a dinner, which would have been too long and boring, Daring Doo had chosen a buffet. As for the music, she had hired DJ Pon-3, who was Equestria's number one of her kind. Yes, this party was even better than the one for Fire Streak and Fleur de Lis' wedding. I guess that was why she was sulking in a corner.

Pinkie Pie and I were obviously racketting the infamous buffet. There were very tasty vegetable napoleons with a lemon mousse and curry-flavored salted shortbreads, and peach, carots and pepper gazpachos, Parmesan cheese polentas... Their candied tomatoes with basil and tapenade crostinis weren't bad neither, and let's not forget about the crusty brik pastry sheet stuffed with French cheese and fresh apples. Wedding food was definitely the best food, and I didn't regret I came here if only for the food.

Fire Streak was dancing with a decidedly not smiling Fleur de Lis, while Fluttershy and Big Mac were billing and cooing on the floor, Rarity was talking in a corner with Sandalwood who was staring hungrily at her while Coloratura was surrounded by a whole court of suitors arguing for her attention. Soarin was on the phone with his little sister, who had read about us on internet.

In her gorgeous wedding dress, Daring Doo came to me and took me in her arms, much to my surprise.

"Dash... I'm so glad you could make it. I'm so happy to see you so radiant. You look amazing."

"As always, you mean? But well, tonight this isn't about me. It's all about you. The most daring explorer and novelist to ever get married. Congratulations."

"Thanks. I can't wait to get back to work, though. Those dresses are as uncomfortable as they are pretty. By the way, why Fleur de Lis look so upset?"

"Because this party's a millon times better than hers!" Pinkie happily claimed, her mouth full of crostinis.

Daring Doo burst out laughing, before she told us, like it was some sort of confession.

"I thought maybe her dress was too tight and she couldn't breath or something of the kind."

"Oh, like Elizabeth Swan? I like that. Well, I don't like the movie but I like Elizabeth Swan. Okay, I shut up," I said, turning back to the buffet table.

"I think it's because Coloratura's here too and Fire Streak can't help staring at her."

"Yeah, in this respect, Pinkamena... There's a young man over here who would like to have a nice chat with you."

She swallowed one more crostini and looked around the dancefloor. The young man in question was Cheese Sandwich, of course. He was nervously fixing his crooked necktie. When Pinkie came to him with a smile after she wiped her mouth, he smiled back at her, a bit sheepishly.

Guess what happened after. Second-in-command tattletales gave her a taste of her own medicine. Immediately, Fluttershy and Big Mac were dancing in circles around that area, Rarity and Sandalwood had decided to go on the floor as well and even Daring Doo and her husband themselves were swirling closer to them.

I grabbed Soarin as soon as he stopped by my side and there we went too. Much to my surprise, Coloratura was also curious about what was going to happen since one of her suitor and herself were also dancing now. Fire Streak was the only one away, surely because Fleur de Lis didn't want him to be anywhere near his mistress.

Despite the music and the swinging, I was able to get their conversation which didn't seem to be that easy for everyone else involved.

"So, what do you want to talk about? I'm all ears."

"Well, I'd like to say it but... Could you ask your friends to be a little less easy to spot when they're spying on our conversation?"

Pinkie giggled out loud, before she added.

"They're not listening. I really don't know what you're talking about."

"Tell me about it."

She knew very well we were all on the look-out but she probably also thought it was only fair. The boot was on the other foot now, in a way.

"Well, actually, I was thinking... Maybe we could have even more fun by being serious together. See what I mean?"

Pinkie Pie opened her mouth but that was another female voice which rose from among the crowd.

"But is he doing on his knees?!"

Sheepishly, Cheese Sandwich looked at his feet in order to check out that he wasn't on his knees but standing on his two feet. Pinkie then put a finger under his chin so he would turn his face and have a glimpse of the person in question, who happened to be Big Mac, kneeling in front of Fluttershy, obviously no longer dancing. Silence had suddenly fallen all over the ballroom and even the music had stopped. Fluttershy was red hot from embarrassment but her boyfriend looked calm and collected, although slightly blushing too.

"Ah know we're both very young and it's a bit scary but Ah love ya and Am sure we're meant from each other and Ah wanna spend the rest of mah life with ya. So..." he cleared his throat, then went on. "Fluttershy Anne, would you marry me?"

In shock, Rarity, Pinkie and Coloratura all cried a chorus of "Oh my!", which of course made us being noticed by everyone else. Fluttershy, though, stood still, redder than a red carpet, tears flowing over her cheeks. I bet all the guys around expect those who were already in love were now dreaming to be in Big Mac's shoes. She was the dream fantasy of all those who thought that softness and gentleness equaled perfect femininity.

A few seconds went by where everybody was holding their breath before Fluttershy eventually smiled softly.

"Yes," she murmured, her voice shaking of emotions.

Big Mac got back on his feet, took her in his arms and everyone applauded when they exchanged a sweet kiss. I could see Fleur de Lis glaring at Coloratura who was clapping her hands enthusiastically. Okay, this was getting more and more uncomfortable. And I wondered why did everyone around me seemed to want to get married? Was it because of the dress, of the attention? I just didn't get it. To me, weddings are dull (except this one, maybe, for the reasons already metionned) and the epitome of boring sap. I hate every movie that exists and is about someone getting married or dreaming to get married, except "The Philadephia Story" and "I Was a Male War Bride" but they're screwball comedies, not rom-com so I guess it doesn't count.

Also, this meant I was going to be obliged to attend another wedding and I wasgoing to be frustrated and angry because I would be the only one without plus one, even though I had a boyfriend and... Wait a minute!

I took one glance at Soarin who was still clapping his hands and I realized something. I wouldn't be angry and frustrated! This was over. Finished, finito, terminé, the end, hasta la vista baby. Seemed like I could't believe it for real yet.

As Big Mac was putting a ring on Fluttershy's fingers (guess he really liked it), Pinkie got on her tiptoes and quickly pecked Cheese Sandwich's lips. He stopped moving, as if he had just stared right into the eyes of Medusa.

"You know what? Let's do this! Not marriage, I mean... Dating. Real dating, with cakes and flowers and arguments and makeups. The whole complete stuff for fools and, how is it already? Sappy dumb ninnies!"

Quickly, his stupid stupefied face gave way to an adorable smile and he took her in his arms for a little hug so sweet my teeth hurt and my stomach ached.

Music was on again and Soarin and I were dancing again too, this time not spying any conversation whatsoever. I was ready to party until the break of dawn, until my head dropped and my feet were dead. And happy Hunger Games!

The Serpent and the Rainbow

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Snow had covered each streets of Canterlot and its white coat gave the city an elfic atmosphere. Each morning, I had a cup of hot coffee and a plaid and I sat on my balcony, watching at the flakes slowly falling down.

Now, a complete account on everyone's life seemed appropriate. With Hearth Warming and the end of the year approaching, came the time of the bills. Countess Coloratura, new superstar of Equestrian pop, was still having an affair with the king of rockers, Fire Streak from Lumiere and everyone knew but just pretended to be blind. Rarity was over the moon with Sandalwood, while Fluttershy was planning her wedding with Big Mac with the help of his sister Applejack, who turned out to be good friend with the whole gang. Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie formed a tornado they called a couple and were even louder than a Boeing 347. Promises made by Filthy Rich weren't just hot air. Soarin had shot his TV show for Netflix and planned on doing a second season, while hired in another very famous franchise of young adult literature that was the "Uglies and Pretties" series. We hadn't settled together but he was often sleeping at my place and we could see each other much more often. When there was an award ceremony, we were even invited together and our story hadn't meant the end of his career or anything.

It was almost seven in the evening and the girls and I were back from a long day of meeting at the record company, planning our second album. We were going to go shopping for Hearth Warming and have a mulled wine with bread pudding after that. I was in the toilets when my phone started ringing.

"Pinkie! Please, pick it up for me," I cried from my spot.

Dressing up again, I got out of the bathroom in a hurry and saw Pinkie Pie, already in the middle of a conversation. She looked very surprised and it took a lot to surprise her. Usually, she was the surprise.

"Argh, yeah, hold up a second."

"Who is it?"

"Filthy Rich!"

WHAT?!!! Why was he calling me? And what made him think that I'd like to talk to him? It was like he didn't know he was number one on my top list of the persons I'd like to see eating poison berries. Well, that was easy, he was the only one on the list.

"I'm sorry," Pinkie answered with a very secretary tone. "We cannot grant to your request."

Then she hung up. I swore I wanted to kiss her. On the mouth. With the tongue. Rarity was stunned, before she burst out laughing.

"Pinkie... You've just make one of my deepest fantasy come true!"

Upon this, she was the one bursting out laughing. But my phone vibrated in her hands once again. One glance at the screem indicated us it was the exact same number than a little earlier. Giggling in anticipation, she picked it up again and put the speaker on.

"Hello?"

"Can I please talk to Miss Rainbow Dash?" Filthy Rich asked at the other end of the line, sounding irritated.

"Understand us. We can't let anyone talk to her! She's a very, very busy person."

She held herself back from bursting out laughing again and was about to hang up to his face one more time when he replied.

"How funny! You're Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie, aren't you?"

Pinkie's eyes widened and she stiffened, losing her smile on the way, like some little girl caught red-handed in the biscuit closet.

"That's me. Why?"

"I know about all Cheese Sandwich and you. It's a wonder how girls from your little... bunch all seem to drive my protégés crazy."

"Because we're the most awesome bunch on friends Equestria has ever seen. Simple as that."

How I admireed the grit with which she spoke to him. Although she wasn't a smartass when he recognized her voice, I didn't think she was scared of him and of what he could do. Though I think he would never try anything too risky since she knew every of his personal tricks and it would never work on her. Pinkie was way too... Pinkie for that.

"Now can I finally talk with Miss Rainbow Dash, please? It's important and I don't have time to play games."

Funny, I thought that was the only thing he was doing with his time...

Pinkie looked at me. I didn't want to talk with this bastard at all but he said it was important. If he tried to trick me into parting Soarin from me again, I swear I wouldn't stand for it.

Displeased, I smirked at the girls before grabbing my phone. Before talking with him, I made sure the speaker was now off. Brievity is the soul of wit.

"Hello?" I answered, sounding visibly too much unenthusiastic.

"Hello, Miss Dash. How are you?"

"I was great until one minute ago. What's going on?"

"Don't be so hostile, I won't bother you for too long. I think it would be a good thing if you and I had a short conversation. We haven't start off on the right foot and I'd like to clarify a few details. When would you be available to come to my office?"

"Well, I have professional meetings until at least seven each day so I'm available everyday after seven."

"It's perfect. Would next Monday fit you?"

"Um, yeah. Next Monday is fine."

"Excellent. I'll be waiting for you in my office next Monday around seven and a half. Please, don't be late. Have a good evening."

He hung up and I couldn't even return his salutations back. I had to admit I was very much intrigued. In theory, he only wanted to talk with me but he also said he only wanted to talk with me on the night he started to part me from so Soarin so I was a bit distrustful.

==============================================***==========================================

Thankfully he told me not to be late! I'd been sitting around in this waiting room for thirty minutes.

Coming here, without with an appointment was a real obstacle course. When you stopped in front of the building, a security guard controled your identity and looked inside your bag then you had to go to the reception where they asked who you were and who you had an appointment with before they gave you a card to pass by the security gate. Once at the right floor, someone came to pick you in front of the elevator and made sure you wouldn't start to visit the place. Finally, they stopped you at the waiting room and they completely forgot about your presence.

Filthy Rich's office occupied the whole floor. Earlier, a young secretary with glasses, purple hair and purple eyes had welcomed me and offered me a cup of coffee. She wasn't much older than me, if not the same age. Her coffee was way too bitter but I drank it all because I was polite and it gave me something to do. But I took so long it was cold in the end, and even more digusting.

Each time the secretary went out of her office, I thought my turn had finally come but it was never my turn. I saw her coming back with files, coffee, newspaper, books but she never came in and say Mr. Filthy Rich was ready to host me.

Suddenly, in a recess of the room, apparently giving way directly on Filthy Rich's office, I got scraps of a conversation on the phone. It was a girl and she had a very posh English accent. I was pricking my ears in order to hear clearer but she was whispering lower and lower, as if she knew I was listening. I was all crooked on my chair, trying hard to spy on what was said when the secretary stepped into the room.

I sat up back straight, caught red-handed and tried to act casually.

"Mr. Filthy Rich apologizes for the delay and his ready to host you in his office," she said with a hint of amusement in her voice.

And here we were. F*ck, I was nervous! If he said anything that I didn't like, I would tie him to his chair and thrust his golden watch in his throat until he begs me for mercy.

I gathered my coat and bag and left the waiting room to step into his office. The secretary closed the door behind me but instead of leading me to the desk like I thought she had just disappeared.

Here I was, face to face with the person I hated the most in the world. Talking about a tricky situation...

"Don't stay there hanging," Filthy Rich suddenly said. "That armchair won't bite you."

As my steps were coming closer to the desk, the features of his face slowly got clearer: these dark severe eyes, thick brown hair, square jaws, fake olive tan, and arrogant smirk. I had forgotten that he could be a little impressive, with his crushing charisma and disdain.

Staring straight into his eyes as a sign of my bravery, I sat down on the indicated armchair in front of the desk.

Before the conversation even started, the young secretary appeared again. Her presence was a delay which comforted me a little and I told myself that if someone that young was able to work for him and not be afraid, there was no reason why I would deny my own nature and act reserved.

In silence, she put a tray in front of me, then got away as fast as she was arrived. On said tray, there was a coffee pot with two cups, cream, milk and sugar, mochis and fruits, along with a variety of mini-pastries.

"I've taken the liberty to ask Soarin about your tastes... Is that to your satisfaction?"

"Yes, thank you. Except for, uh, almonds. I'm allergic."

Was he sure he asked Soarin and not Thunderlane? I thought I was going to be distrustful of that tray too, it was suspicious. Maybe he asked me to come here because he planned on killing me and pretended it was nothing but a silly accident. I could picture him patiently waiting for me to start throwing up blood like that girl in the "Battle Royale" first movie.

"I'm sorry. It's a regrettable misunderstanding."

"Forget about it," I answered with a shrug. "I doubt you asked me to come over here just to have coffee."

The thing was that I hadn't been through all this military organization to chat over tea and biscuit like some grannies in a retirement home...

"Of course not. As I said on the phone last Friday, you and I haven't started off the right foot. I would like us to start again from scratch. I'm sure you're mature enough to have a conversation with me, from adult to adult. Don't you agree?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, still not enthusiastic.

So, he thought I was mature and adult, fine. Here was a sample. While he was talking, I had taken the two cups on the tray and poured us some coffee. It was the least of thing to try on what was offered to you (although it might be poisoned). When I'm done, he took his cup, nodding as a thank you, all while always talking.

"Fine! I've built my name on my own, without any help. All I had was a degree in marketing and movie theory. I'm what they call a self-made person. I've worked hard all my life to be where I am today, even neglecting my private life. That's why I think hard work is the hinge of a career. I know you understand. I heard you were very much committed to music."

I wasn't sure what was his point. If he was trying to tell me that I owed him respect, I agreed. It was not going to make me like him but I could recognize he was someone important in the entertainment industry. I respected the businessman but I loathed the man.

"This is why, when I hire someone I believe in, I'm expecting this person to be greatly committed as well. Soarin is this kind of persons."

"And so?" I asked, crushing half a sugar in my coffee. "Are you trying to say Soarin wasn't committed to his work enough? Because I don't see things this way."

"No, you don't get my point. Maybe I haven't been clear. What I mean is... I want people I hire to listen to me because I trust them. I regard this as the least one can do. I didn't mind that Soarin didn't listen to me and started dating you anyway. He's not the first one to do it so and he certainly won't be the last. My problem is that I've asked him the greatest of discretion and he haven't stopped public displays of affection and doing compromising things. And this I cannot tolerate."

"So you actually mean you did it to... punish him?"

"More or less."

He was serious. Serious like death itself. Okay, Mr. Joe Black... You'd been defied and it upset you so you decided to stop breathing? Maybe I should start calling him Pepe from now on. I didn't know why, but I started to laugh. This was so ludicrous, there was nothing else to do than laughing... Really, it was pathetic!

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing!" I replied, curt. "What was precisely at stake that you absolutely had to "punish" him? Explain me, I'm a little stupid sometimes."

At this exact moment I realizeed that I was no longer nervous. I had grit, I had dignity and I screwed him. Yours truly, Rainbow Elizabeth Dash.

"Although I'm in no power to help my protégés from falling in love, I'm lying to the public because at such a young start, careers are very fragile and even the slightest detail is able to ruin them forever. And there's also money in the equation. Know that I'm never joking with money."

"Alright, why not? But you've been deceitful by not letting me know, for the whole first year of us dating, that this could pop up in my face. You've also been deceitful for all those broken promises. I haven't forgotten anything."

"Soarin knew what I was expecting from him."

"Are you implying he's the one I should blame? Like I've been through hell for more than two years and it's all because of Soarin betraying your trust. Is that what I should understand?"

"You can't deny he has taken many risks, like willingly showing his face in the streets when with you. Oh, please don't look at me like that. I know everything there is to know about you two."

Though still very much self-confident, I couldn't help blushing upon these words. If he knew everything, did it mean he also knew about my miscarriage?

Don't let him fool you, Rainbow! He's trying to get the upper-hand!

"To be honest, I could have make sure you'd see each other sooner. But when I've understood what have happened between you two the last time I've let him visit you... I got carried away."

"You got carried away? A child who eats a full bag of candies got carried away. You were just being an a**hole!"

"I haven't said I was perfect, Miss Dash, nor that my reasons were the best. I'm just explaining the hows and the whys. Yes, I got carried away and I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"You haven't hurt me. You've belittled me. Life has sometimes been a b*tch with me, you know, but I thought my time as an humiliated outcast was far behind me. Until I met you. Do you know what I remember? The "nickel-and-dime" concert thing. I have never felt so insulted of my life. I bet you don't even treat groupies the way you've been treating me for so long."

"We owe a lot to groupies, as you call them. They invest a lot of time and money for Soarin."

"Yeah but I've invested my whole soul for Soarin and I regard it as highly important. Each time, each time I had a glimmer of hope, you shut them off, making me think I was nothing, no one, only a burdening parasite, a nuisance. Do you know what that feels like?"

I'd looked straight into his eyes and I hadn't blinked. It was important that he understood what he made me go through, which seemed to be unimportant for him though it had destroyed a part of me, making me frustrated and furious all the time, ruining all chunks of what should had been the greatest moments of my life, crushing my pride and kicking my self-confidence in the butt. It sounded like it had been a game for him, as I'd always thought but it wasn't any fun for me.

And now I needed him to show me that this person in front of me was a human being, not a war machine with a calculator where others had a brain and a cash-register where others had a beating heart.

"No, you're right. I don't know what it feels like. I'm sorry for all the wrong I did to you. I've taken decisions that I regarded as fair at the time. However, I want you to know one or two more things. First, your birthday party... If I've said no to Soarin, it wasn't because I wanted to punish him for the risks he's taken with you but because it truly was important to add another date to his promotion tour. Do you understand that? And as far as your concert is concerned, well... A party at the Queen's is not something to be refused but the real reason is that I was expecting something from Soarin. If he had done that something, I would have set him free immediately and even paid a cab for him."

"What is it?"

It really sounded like he was always trying to put the blame on Soarin. That reminded of those who think a rape victim deserves what happened to them because of the way they dressed and how of late they've been out in the streets.

"I wanted him to show me how attached he was to you, to prove that he really wanted to be with you. Seems like he was too scared of me still to front me with this topic. But on that night, that concert night, you've cornered him. He had no other choice than to do exactly what I was expecting from him. He fought for you with all his might. You know, happiness isn't to be taken for granted. It doesn't fall from above. You have to deserve it."

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?"

He got up from his chair and stretched a hand to me.

"I'm extremely sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm not the tyrant you're taking me for, Miss Dash."

Hm, if he said so... Yet I admitted, I was glad I'd been able to get things straight with him. It was going to help me to move forward. Deep inside, I knew I would never quite forgive him but let's say I had respect for his character and I knew that refusing wouldn't put the odds in my favor, so to speak.

"Apologies accepted," I said, finally shaking his hand.

Life was a funny thing, sometimes. One hour ago, I hated this man with all my body, heart and soul. Though I still hated him, I had now some kind of esteem for him. And I learned something very useful. It was always better to have this man on your side.

Walk the Proud Land

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It's snowing in the streets of Canterlot. I'm walking under the flakes, on my own, my mind at peace. There's a tranquility, a peculiar serenity that I really love about winter. It's my favorite season, along with Spring, because cold has something soft and mellow that I just can't explain. I like the sound of my steps creaking in the snow, it's so comforting.

After my discussion with Filthy Rich, I've decided to take a short walk. Not for shopping, only for the pleasure of a stroll in the streets. Hearth Warming decorations are lighting up the city, people are in a hurry, with bags in their arms, struggling against the cold while I'm walking, slowly, breathing out.

Quietness... I've forgotten what it was like after I've been a companion to anger for so long. This year, I'll be with Soarin for Hearth Warming and all my family. They will finally meet him and even that doesn't make me feel nervous. Days where we were parted aren't that old yet when I turn back, it feels like it dates back to centuries.

My story can now resume its course. It's nothing like a screwball comedy or even a rom-com. It can't be that because it isn't anybody else's story. It's mine, written by the hands of choices. So, even if that's a little sappy at times, at other times it's crazy or outlandish or excited, even if it's full of flaws, injustices and sparkled with pain, my story is precious to me, and even beautiful. This is why I swear I'm going to cherish it, with its pits and bumps, with its cracks and its grace, in its least small details.

"Traces of the steps I leave behind me
Are distorted and muddy
But I don't regret a single one
I'm proud of them from the bottom of my heart"

Ayumi Hamasaki