Daring Do's latest adventure hit's a chaotic snag when she ends up rescuing the adopted son of Discord.
Originally a single shot story set in the "Dadonequus Discord" universe
Daring Do's latest adventure hit's a chaotic snag when she ends up rescuing the adopted son of Discord. Will they be able to work together to stop Ahuizotl's latest plot? Or will Anon's usual screw ups put them both in hot water?
Well, when it comes to the chaotic colt, you never know what could happen.
Here you were, in the lost city of Cloperado. Looking for fucking tea leaves. Because you taunted Discord's "Ginseng" tea idea.
The city itself wasn’t as golden as you expected. What stood were large towering pyramid like temples with long flights of stairs in the center. Deserted and mossy carts once used to sell wares littered the broken stone streets of the long dead city. Smaller square buildings, presumably living quarters, were empty and nearly haunting with the visible dust that can be seen through the ancient windows. Lost? More like everyone stopped giving a shit.
No, it didn't matter that you found the fact that he wanted to have a tea party at the house adorable and something he needed.
Hell, you were fucking surprised to find out that Fluttershy was finally going to come to the house at all. Made you think that Discord was finally going to make a move on her or something.
But nope, you fucked up by mocking him. Playfully mocking, not even bad. Fucking child, always taking things too hard sometimes.
"Ok Anon, if you think you can top my idea. Then why don't you go down to Cloperado and get the tea leaves there. They're perfect, nya nya nya nya nya...fucker teleported me here and I don't even know where the fuck I'm going." You say in a mocking tone. "I should be back home, dammit. I should be making sure he doesn't fucking over do it. But whatever, all I gotta do is find the leaves and go home."
You brought your hoof to your chest, your ever faithful horn was gone, though you still had the map. Discord wanted you to find the leaves without cheating, to take in the history and culture of a fucking dead civilization.
The city itself however, was pretty well built. The tall Aztec looking buildings were still mostly intact. Though some of the local green has overgrown in many spots. Old tools and such littered certain spots. And the rivers that ran through the city were very clear and beautiful….And even as you took that in, it still looked liked everyone just dropped everything and left.
But...where the fuck were you going to find tea leaves? Not like you just ask someone.
There was also something else you noticed that seemed off. You could see some wooden tower structures that looked like they were recently built, and some tents that looked rather new. But that couldn't be right, this place has been abandoned for god knows how long. "..Tea leaves...Tea leaves....where the fuck are the....wait a second."
You had a bright idea. You took out your map, and just as you thought, the way Discord had reworked it long ago to track Scrappy and Chrysalis also served as a video game esque mini map. Which was perfect for you as now you could see the area in a more birds eye like view and see what the inner walls of the buildings looked like.
The biggest towerish square building had a shitton of weaving walls and such. Probably was really dangerous to venture in there.
So you took a turn through a thin alley as a open unroofed set of squares began to emerge on the map.
These could be small farm spots. Perhaps the tea leaves were there. "Nyahaha! finally, it looks like things are looking up for me and........wut?"
When you reached the open dirt spots. You noticed there were vegetables growing....Fresh. ".....uhhhhhhhh....wut?"
You approached the carrots that were growing without caution, and plucked one from the ground. Luckily, being a pony, you were able to take a bite of it without much issue in the sense of taste. "Mmmmm...that's pretty good. Man...has this shit been growing here all this time? How the hell did everybody die off then? This place practically grows its own food. Man, those tea leaves must be pretty fresh too. Wonder where they are..."
You turned around, and saw an innocent little white cat looking back at you.
....awww "Hey there, little guy. What are you doing here?"
Were there,in fact,natives around? Did they have cats?
Ahhh shit. They probably wouldn't like it if they spotted you. Or it could be like that one movie and they'll treat you like a god.
Oh man, maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Ponies are nice fellas most of the time. You could be godly. You were the son of one after all.
No issue with your plan whatsoever. not a one. "Come here little kitty. You like carrots? nom nom" You wiggled the carrot at the cat. And instead of it coming closer and sniffing it. It suddenly fucking hissed and screamed and rushed away, out of sight.
"Holy shit, what was that thing's problem?" The way it hissed, the fact it didn't like you,It made you feel a little antsy about your plan.
Maybe you should dunk your map in some water and get the fuck out. Whatever natives were here were probably not going to like the fact you pissed off their cat.
They might have treated it as their god or something. "Alright...I'll just admit to him that I got spooked or some shit and I'm sure he'll get his laugh and everything will beOOHH!"
Suddenly, something grabbed onto you. Like,with a hand.
"What is this? A pony? A pony here? How can this be?" That voice....was sorta OH SHIT
Whatever was holding you turned you over in it's grip.
You were face to face with....oh god...what was his name? Azuwhatl?
He had you by his tail hand, he raised you up in the air and shook you about as he pointed to one of the towers. "You! Goon leader that I have hired. How could you let a foal walk into our midst!? You told me nopony would be able to get near here."
The goon leader...whatever, you could barely see him...looked down from the tower and went wide eyed when he noticed you "How in the?! Hey, I have no idea how he got through my guys. The whole place is pretty much on lockdown!"
Suddenly, Azubutthead growled in anger. "You listen to me,Goon! For once, I decide to use my money to try this whole ‘Modern Army’ thing, and yet the hundred of you that I, Ahuizotl, hired can't even keep a simple foal out?!"
Oh right, that was his name.
"H-Hey! We'll get it right next time. A-and would it kill you to call us henchponies? Goons is kinda an insult, y'know?" the leader called out.
Ahuizotl snapped his fingers on his right hand, summoning the rest of his cats to zip right towards the tower and look at the leader with vicious and hungry eyes. "No, it wouldn't ‘Kill’ me. But if you fail me again, you won't be a goon nor a henchpony, but rather lunch for my pets."
"R-Right, W-whatever you say Mr.Ahuizotl" The leader saluted as he got on his radio to alert his men to keep a sharper eye out for intruders.
Oh...no. How!? How the fuck could you run into this guy?! OF ALL THE FUCKERS YOU COULD RUN INTO! THIS GUY?! THIS GUY WAS OFF HIS ROCKER! HOLY FUCK! HE WAS GOING TO SCORCH THE FUCKING WORLD AT ONE POINT!
Ahuizotl then brought you close, meeting eye to eye as he peered closely at you. "As for you, my little friend. What is somepony such as you doing in a place that very few know the location of?"
...dammit. Maybe if you tell the truth. He'll let you go. You were a foal after all. "Ok, look. I'm Anon. You may have heard of me..."
"No" He plainly says
....fucking what?! how has he not?!...whatever. "Ok look, whatever. I'm the son of the spirit of chaos, Discord. Look it up. I'm here for some tea leaves and then I'm gone. So if you could point me in the right direction, i'll be out of your hair. No muss, no fuss."
Then he reacted in the oddest way. He started laughing at you.
"....What's so funny?"
He shook you again, then growled as suddenly as he laughed. "Do you take me for a fool? A fool who falls for such silly jokes? Everypony who knows their history about Cloperado knows that the old natives were terrible when it came to anything related to tea. But..." He then gave you an evil smirk "I think I know who you are." He chuckled again "That annoying Daring Do, taking on a young ward. How interesting, and how foolish of her to let you walk right into the heart of my excavation team who also happen to be goons"
DISCORD! YOU FUCK!
Even if Discord didn't realize it. Which, scaringly enough, he probably didn't. He should have realized there would have been some fucking danger to this little romp. Hell, the motherfucking fact that the tea leaves were actually shit made you want to strangle him. He sent you to this place for fucking nothing, probably for you to struggle finding the damn leaves so you would go back tired and beaten, only to find out they were shit.
BUT NOPE. LET'S GET FUCKING FOALNAPPED INSTEAD! C'MON, LET'S HOPE HE FUCKING RAPES YOU TOO. WOULDN'T THAT BE GRAND?!
..You had to get out of here. "Daring Do? Are you insane? Look man, I didn't know the leaves were terrible. I was just doing a job for my dad. Frankly, I have no idea what you're doing and I don't care and HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!"
"What's this?" Ahuizotl takes your map and looks at it, noticing that it was a map of the city's more immediate area. He further noticed that as he moved the map ever so slightly, the areas that showed upon it also slightly expanded depending on where he moved it. "Ahhh, this must belong to Daring Do. I see now, you, a silly foal must have thought you could stop me on your own. THIS! This is how you found me. Interesting, but now you have sealed the world's fate. For I will use this map to locate the right eye of the grand cobra deity! HAHAHAHAHA!" He started to stand and laugh maniacally as you swung about on his tail
Oh god..you wanted to hurl from all this quick and janky movement from his near endless guffaws. "S-Sthap! Stop that! Give the map back or I swear, I'm going to change you into a box of turnips!"
"Oh?" Ahuizotl stopped his laughter and smirked at you as he hung you high with his tail. "You still threaten me? You don't seem to realize who I am, where you are, and what the meaning of sense is. But perhaps we can strike a deal. You reveal to me the location of Daring Do, and I shall let you go. Decide quickly, for I am usually not so generous"
...oh great. Here comes the cycle. "Look, as I said. I don't know where she is. I never met her. But you're not going to believe me, you're going to shake me, you're going to give me ONE more chance, I'm going to say the same thing. And then you're going to do some soft core torture on me until I break. But see, I'm in a hurry. So let me go, and things won't get ugly"
"...What?" He looked about, then to his gathered killer jungle cats "Am I that obvious?"
The jungle cats all shrugged
"Yeah, see? And as much as I like kinky things, I'm gonna sit this one out. So, if you can give me back MY map so I can go home. It'd be much appreciated."
"Hrmmm" Ahuizotl pondered, then looked over back the the goon leader's tower "You! I want you to tell all of your goons to let Daring Do pass should she be skulking about. I have come up with a brilliant idea!"
Brilliant what now? "And that sounds well and good and UNGH!"
He squeezes you tight as he gives you a malicious stare "Well, my little friend, it looks like I have found a use for you."
.....shit
Next thing you knew, he had you tied on a rope, connected to a line, that was hooked to a crank.
On top of the highest building.
Over boiling hot tar. "ARE YOU INSANE?! THIS CAN KILL ME!"
fucking dammit! YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THIS!
" You forced my hand. You will yell for the assistance of your mentor. I know you must have some...reservations...about leading her into a trap. But I assure you, if you should take too long, Then.." He points at the tar "Bloop"
"I already told you. I don't even know where she is!"
"So loyal. I don't think I've ever boiled a foal before. I wonder if I'd feel bad about it. My little friend, my heart goes out to you. I shall give you a few more-"
"HELP! DARING DO! HELP! THIS GUY IS INSANE! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEEEASE HELP!" If she was around, you needed her fucking help.
"..a...ahrm..." Ahuizotl was honestly surprised you gave in so quickly. He thought he'd have to do the whole "Slowly lower you ever so slightly" routine. "Odd, I feel a sense of pity for Miss Do. I would have thought her ward would have been more loyal. But this works perfectly. Daring Do will soon come."
He turns and points to his goon leader. "You! assemble your goons. I want Daring Do captured when she is most vulnerable"
"Got it, Mr. Ahuizotl sir!" He saluted, and started going down the steps of the building to gather his men.
Fucking dammit. She wasn't going to show! You were going to die!
In fact, as moments passed. Ahuizotl was getting annoyed and surprised that she hasn't shown yet. He grabbed the rope you were dangling from and shook it with his tail. "DARING DO! I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! WOULD YOU TRULY LET THIS FOAL BOIL ALIVE? YOU WOULD RATHER HIS STEAMING RUBBERY REMAINS STAIN YOUR HOOVES? FACE ME! FACE ME OR ELSE!"
As you shook about. the knot on your rope started to loosen. "...Oh no..Stop! STOP, YOU LOON! YOU'RE GONNA...!"
But you end up coming loose from the rope. "Gyyyaaaa! Omph!"
Luckily for you. The momentum from the shaking launched you from over the boiling tar pit and onto Ahuizotl's face.
As you clung onto it. He gave you an angry look as you gave him a sheepish smile.
You also knew he was probably going to try to grab you again.
So you bit down hard on his nose, causing him to yell in pain and cover his face.
You plop off before his hand can come upon you, and land right in front of him.
"YOU LITTLE! WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"
Fuck! Think Anon...Think! What would Daring Do do?
Or Rainbow Dash?
Or Twilight..
Celestia.....
.....
No fuck them, they all suck at this
You point up and look at the sky with wonderment "Daring Do, there you are! I'm over here. Save me!" You wave upwards.
Ahuizotl, realizing what you said, abandons rubbing his face to look up with a cocky smirk. "Daring Do! There you are! But it's too....late?"
She wasn't actually there
No, instead. you took the time to turn around and buck him right in the nuts.
A classic Anon tactic.
He fell over with a squeal.
And with all his goons set to capture Daring Do. You started making an escape down the building steps. "hahahaha! Every fucking time! I'm the smartest guy in Equestria, I swear! Now all I gotta do is...."
You stop as you near the bottom of the steps
....you forgot the map "FUCKING DAMMIT!"
However, as you turned around to make a run for the map.
You are nabbed once again. "DAMMIT! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"
You didn't even realize you were zipping through the air. "Hey kid! Stop struggling! I'm trying to save you!"
"OR DUNK ME IN THE...wait.."
That was a female's voice
That was...
You took the time to calm yourself and look ahead, you were wrapped around Daring Do's legs as she zipped through the air to get out of the city.
"Daring Do?"
"Yeah! Hold on, don't start fan spewing until we get to the ground, ok Short Round?"
Short Round?
You wanted to say something about it. But looking down at the jungle ground and how scary it looked. You opted to be quiet until she finally landed ways away from the city.
She gently put you down and adjusted her explorers hat. "There we go, safe and sound" She said with a sigh as she moved a couple of bushes, revealing a secret camp.
Safe and sound, huh? If she was able to save you after you escaped, it made you wonder how long she had left you hanging.
Still, she did save you. But...fuck..the map. That dog fucker still had it. "Hey, thanks for the help!"
She turned around to face you with a scowl "Thank me? What are you even doing here?! This place is way too dangerous for a foal. Where are your parents?! don't tell me they went looking for the city too and got nabbed by Ahuizotl!"
Holy christ, what got up her ass?! "Geez lady, calm down. I just wanted to thank you. And my parents? Well, that's nothing to worry about"
You expected her to ask what you meant. But she just angrily barked at you some more. "Nothing to worry about?! Listen closely, Short Round, I don't know where you came from and I don't care who you are. This place is dangerous! If your parents are in trouble, tell me where they are being held and I'll go back for them before anypony realizes what's going on."
She wasn't listening. "Lady, first of all. I'm not a "Short Round", do I look short and pudgy? Maybe a bit….not really, anyway! Secondly, I only have ONE parent. MY dad, Discord."
"....Oh no..." She responds as she pulls her hat over her face
oh no? "Uhhh, what's with THAT reaction?"
"You're that hero colt I've read about. Anon, I think. Look, the situation is sensitive as is. I'm taking you home before you cause any more trouble"
taking you home? She had the time for that? Even moreso, why was she reacting so negatively towards you? "You act like I caused all this in the first place."
"I know you didn't. But looking for trouble doesn't make you a hero either. You don't even seem to have that horn I've read about, the one that basically let's you do whatever." She didn't seem to have any faith in your natural abilities.
"I wasn't looking for trouble, I was just trying to find the tea leaves."
She raises a disapproving eyebrow at you
"...What?" Why was she so...dickish?
"You do know the old natives here were terrible at making tea, right?"
...Yes...you knew
You groaned "Yeah, I was already told by dog face. It's why he thought I was hanging around with you. Speaking of him, don't you think the situation is a little too dire to just walk away from? I mean..." You shrugged as you turned around and moved some huge leaves to look a little beyond the camp “Yeah..I wanna go home and all. But he took something of mine that's pretty important. I need to get it back to EVEN go back home"
"Whatever it is is probably not worth it. Your father is the spirit of chaos, he'll probably go looking for you back in...Ponyville right? Yeah, I'll just leave you there and go back to scouting out Ahuizotl's operation"
But you reaaaalllyyy needed that map back. that fucker could end up in your room at any time if he drops it in any body of water.
You also found it curious that Daring Do wasn't treating the situation as serious as you thought she normally would.
"Look Daring Do. I reeealllyy need that map back. It let's me go back to my house“
But she interrupts you as she brings her face to yours, her expression showed a sense of deep worry. "Did you say map?"
....this was uncomfortable...Why did it matter to her? "Um, yeah. It's my map. And I need to get it back"
"....What is it a map to, exactly?" She was starting to sweat. What was the big deal?
"Nowhere really. It's a map my dad gave me to track two particular individuals while giving me a detailed medium to sorta long range map of the area I'm in. It's pretty neat. It also let's me go home when I toss it in water, that's why I need it b-WAGH!"
"AND YOU LET HIM TAKE IT FROM YOU?! AN ENCHANTED MAP THAT'S POWERED BY YOUR FATHER'S MAGIC?! THAT LETS YOU SEE THE AREA AROUND YOU?! HOW COULD YOU LOSE IT TO HIM?!"She had grabbed you with her wings and shook you as she yelled in a panic. Holy fuck! Why was this so bad?!
Why are you getting shaken so much today?! "W-W-W-WHAT'S T-T-T-THE BB-B-IG D-D-DEAL?!"
She plants you back on the ground, firmly on your butt. "Long story short? The Right Eye of the Great Cobra Deity is a special monocle that can hypnotize entire cities in an instant. it's held in a chamber deep under that building with the eternal hot tar. Guarded by a maze that is so large that it takes two hours to traverse, and that's if you know the way. And the only ones who knew how to get through that maze were the high priests who, at this point, are long gone. The maze itself has a spell cast on it preventing it from being mapped unless your magic is at untold levels. And it's not like you can even navigate the maze normally either, one wrong turn and some of that tar from the top flows down onto you while a wall comes up to trap you in. It's a really gruesome way to go and pretty much insured that nopony was going to get into that place. Ahuizotl had no chance of navigating it.....But then you came along, with a map enchanted by a powerful chaos spirit."
........fuck
"I still have some time, He's going to have to skim through that entire map to find the right route. Look, stay here." She straightens her hat "I'm going to get that map back"
You shake your head to straighten your eyes from that great shaking you took, then you look up at her.
Trust her to get your map back? She didn't seem too capable without luck on her side. And there's only so much of that you can survive on.
Plus, it was your map. And you've dealt with A LOT worse than that dog fuck.
Like no, seriously. You only got caught because Discord warped you right in the middle of danger. You could probably even do this on your own if you planned things right.
Hell, if you could stop Ahuizotl yourself. Rainbow Dash would probably see you as a god. That would pretty much put an end to her sass.
You didn't need your horn for this.
But...you did probably need Daring Do. you even started to think of a better idea. "Haha, nope. You mean WE'RE going to get my map back. I can't just leave it to a pegasus who gets tied up, like, every time"
You gave her an arrogant smirk. So what if Ahuizotl had a goon force? They were still goons. And maybe sending him to your room wasn't a bad idea either, you could have a chuckle when he tries to escape through the window.
Yeah, this wouldn't be too tough.
"...Yeah, no. Look, kid, even if you were capable, which all I have to go by is your word and what I've read, this is still too dangerous for a foal. And I'm not going to endanger a foal for any reason. So do me a favor, stay put, and I'll be back soon....Also, that only happens sometimes. And I still always escape when it does happen" She shifted her eyes left and right on that last part. Yeah, nah. She was lying, she got caught WAY more than that.
"Don't care. You could leave right now and I'd just trot on over to the city to try to get my map myself. I'm the hero colt, this really isn't an issue for somepony like me."
Daring Do tensed as she gave you another scowl "Stay....Put….Don't be an idiot, ok?"
You shake your head "Says somepony who never had the QUEEN OF THE CHANGELINGS under control. Look, either I'm going to do it myself or we work together" You give her an arrogant smirk "Oh...When you write about this? you can call it "Anon and Daring Do: The Map of Destiny". Pretty good, huh?..Miss Yearling?"
Daring Do looked at you with surprise, then some suspicion. At first, she was caught offguard that you knew her real identity. But then she sighed, and shrugged "Well then, I didn't know you knew that much. Maybe I underestimated you."
..Finally "Yeah, look. I'd rather we work together on this. So, would you mind just not pushing me away? I mean it when I say I need that map back. I can't just leave it to you, you understand, right?"
She nods "Yeah, I do. Ok, let's head back to the city"
Yeah! "Alright then! Let's do OW!"
Suddenly, you feel a swift hit on the back of your head.
She hit you!
You look back at her with an angry face "what was that for?!"
She just looked at you with surprise, then looked at her hoof. "..How in the...That always works..."
...Did she…? "Did you try to knock me OW!"
She smacked you again, she swiftly moved close enough to try another hit at the back of your head.
It stung, but that was about it. "Will you stop that?!"
Daring Do just looked at your head, astonished, she actually raised her hoof to knock on your head with a gentle tap.
When she did, she could swear she could hear a metallic clank sound. ".......Holy......Griffonbits"
Can't even trust fucking heroes these days. "Yeah, Griffonbits, whatever. Can we just get going already? Because that isn’t going to work….like...ever"
Daring Do realized she really didn't have a choice if you were truly that adamant. She could just stick you in a bag, perhaps even tie you up and leave you at the camp. But she knew there had to be some truth to the stories she heard. Keeping you in the camp may just lead to worse trouble if and when you escaped on your own.
She hated to do it. She really didn't want to. But she really felt that it was either this or risk you running off on your own. She'd have to make sure the retrieval of the map is quick and painless, because she also knew she'd have to keep an eye on you. "...Yeah"
With no real choice in the matter. Daring Do takes the lead to at least lead you around to the east entrance of the city. Which, during her spying and scouting, was the least guarded as everything in front of the entrance was just dangerous jungle.
All she'd have to do is knock out a couple of guards, get you in, grab the map when dog breath wasn't noticing, and get out.
What could possibly go wrong?
You both waited til nightfall, to make it easier to sneak inside the city.
Daring Do took you a rather long way aways around the outer walls of the city, insisting you ride her back so you don't fall into a river, get attacked by jungle monsters, or get tangled up in vines.
at first you protested, but as she knocked you up with her face onto her back. She..well, it turned out she was actually pretty snuggly for a lean explorin' machine.
So, you didn't really argue and instead played coy and said "Lead the way, o fearless leader" as you tried as subtly as possible to snuggle against her.
When you both arrived at the east entrance. There was a great wall. Well, the wall went along the entire city, so it being great was self explanatory. The door to the inside had long turned to rubble, so getting inside would be easy….
If not for the twelve guards at the entrance.
Both you and Daring Do hid behind the bushes nearby, watching them as they paced and talked amongst themselves.
"Twelve guards? Huh, he's gotta be desperate to have that many watching this side of the city." Daring Do began to point at them with her hoof as she calculated a plan "Sneaking by them is a no go, those two on the walls would notice us. I could fight them, but I'd have to make sure not to get overwhelmed or to not let one get away....Hey kid." She looked back at you "So, I heard you've saved an entire dimension or something like that. Can you actually fight? Or is it all in the horn?"
....Dammit, you didn't want to sound like a pussy but...
You never did get around to training under RD. Not yet anyway..
How to make it sound good though… "Well, when I was in that dimension, the horn couldn't really do too much without an alternate source of power. So I had to make due with my wits and charm"
Daring Do sighed as she rolled her eyes "So that's a no...great"
She looked back at the guards as she contemplated a plan. Something that can get you passed all twelve without alerting the rest of them.
"Well...if you have wit" She looks back at you, this time with a slightly softer look "Now's the time to show it off. I've never dealt with Ahuizotl having a mercenary group that seems to actually know what their doing, so any suggestions would be appreciated"
Woah, ok then. Time to prove yourself. Daring Do herself couldn't get past the fucking entrance. This was your time to shine and gain her respect.
....Wait "How did you get in the first time?"
"He didn't have everything organized earlier today. He's been at this for awhile trying to figure out a way to get past the maze. Even mercenaries get restless if their boss whines like a little baby. But guessing how well organized they are right now, that map must really be something. I want to make a move, but I can't afford to make a mistake. But you? If you’re as smart as they say you are, I want to hear an idea if you have any. Any suggestions will work. And we'll discuss it if it needs any changing."
Hmm, that was a pretty intelligent move actually. Which made you want to ask one more question. "I thought you thought I was just an annoying kid"
"I never said you were annoying. I just didn't want to involve a foal. But you got my hooves tied. And trust me, I've learned a little thing about teamwork from some previous adventures of mine"
She must have meant with the mane 6.
"So, yeah. If you have an idea, say it. But don't treat this like a game, and don't suggest anything gung ho. We only have one shot" She said as she looked back at the guards
Well, you weren't going to do that.
But fuck...what conventional plan could you come up with to get past 12 guards?
What amazing plan could you think of to either defeat or elude them?
...Wait
Why think up an amazing plan?...when you can use saturday morning logic? "I've got it..."
"That was quick, so what is it?" Daring Do asks you
You look over at the guards with a malicious little grin. Ohhh boy, this was gonna be hilarious. "Just watch this."
"Just watch what?! Did you not hear what I just said?" Daring Do couldn't believe you were just going to try something on your own.
You figured she'd react like that. So luckily, another Saturday morning trick should work on her. "...If this doesn't work. Then I'll stay put. How about that?"
Daring Do puts her hoof to her face as she sighs "You really didn't hear me, did you? I said we only get one shot at this. There is no trying again if we screw up. They'll track us down if if they spot us"
"Look, trust me on this. I've seen this work a million times. Please, Daring Do, I promise it'll work"
"You promise? You haven't even told me what it is yet."
"We're going to make them think there are ghosts that's going to curse them." Brilliant plan!
Daring Do took a moment to stay silent, sit on her butt, and take out a flask of water to drink before replying, holding the flask to you. "You want some water? Because I think you're dehydrated"
"What? What's wrong with my plan?"
"It won't work. This isn't a game. We don't even know if their superstitious or not. And there's twelve of them, not all of them would fall for it"
Hmmm...she might have a point.
Actually, you started to feel a little bad now. You thought it was a pretty good plan. "...Yeah, I guess you're right"
Daring Do could see you felt pretty stupid about your plan. She just huffed and turned her head to the side, trying to lessen the blow with her words. "I mean, if we knew something about them, y’know, if they were all superstitious,it could work...You'd be surprised how many henchponies I've managed to trick with a few offhoofed tricks" She then gives you a gentle pat "Sorry kid, but we're going to need something more practical, so just give it a little more thought, ok?" Daring Do goes back to looking past the bushes.
"Yeah..." Wait… "Did you say practical?"
"Yeah, why?" She looked back at you, confused.
You had this! It made sense! "Why? I'll tell you why. Everypony has their own version of practical. Their daily routines, their favorite music, but most importantly...what their moms thought were practical. Do any of those guys have gold teeth...and a bandanna?"
"One of them do...hrn..." Daring Do, at first, didn't seem to want to argue this. She found what you were thinking rather interesting, and wanted to know what you were getting at. Either to see the Hero Colt wit...or to tell you to just shut it. Whatever came first.
She pulled out binoculars from under her shirt and took a closer look at the one with the bandanna.
Sure enough, one of his teeth were golden. "Huh...how did you spot that from way back here without these?" She waved the binoculars at you
"I didn't need them, it's a pretty common...errr..thing. I've seen it a lot in my own adventures. He's also wearing a white tank top, right?"
She nods
"Good...I will bet you everything I got that his mom had gold teeth too. That's what we'll use to spook them"
Daring Do just gave you a blank expression. She didn't know what to make of it
"You still think it's stupid, don't you?" Ugh, but it sounded so good!
"Again, I didn't say that. Look, kid. " Daring Do goes back to looking outside the bush "I'm not going to lie, if it wasn't for the fact that you somehow have an eye to pick out a gold tooth without even seeing it, I'd have called it stupid. I'm sure you've read my books so this wouldn't come to a surprise to you, but sometimes even the craziest improvisations works out for the best." She then gave you a grin "So ok, we'll give it a shot. And if we goof, I'll fight them off and you sneak inside...or run off, got it?"
..what..w-wut? "..Wait, if I mess up. You're just going to sacrifice yourself like that?"
"Yeah. Sort of have to. Not like you're going to be able to fight off twelve stallions. And if we do nothing, the world is doomed."
But if you ran away…
No, you wouldn’t be doing that. Hell, the fact she even had an expectation for you to continue the mission made you feel pretty good. "Man, and here I thought you hated me"
"Kid, I just thought you were thick skulled. I'm not going to hate you just because of who you are. Now let's stop wasting time and get this plan into action. So, what do we do first?"
.You looked over at the guards from behind the bush.” We’re gonna set the mood. Just pull up some spooky voices, just ooooh it up a little, ok?"
She nods
And then you both start booing it up like ghosts.
All of the guards start looking around, unaware of the source of the noise. One of them screaming out "Who's there!?"
"Ghosts...ghosts of the sacred city of Cloperado! And we are fucking pissed off that you have desecrated our land" You made yourself sound as ghostly as possible
The guards started to talk amongst themselves. "Ghosts?..no way, There's no such thing" "Yeah! if there were ghosts, we'd have seen them by now." "I-I dunno guys, I've never heard of the word ‘Fucking’ before. Sounds like an ancient word to me" "Shut up Vine Limp, nopony asked you!" "Yeah, but that is a pretty weird word. But if they are ghosts of the city..then..Hey, then what are you doing out there instead of in there?!"
"What do you think we're doing?" You ask them from behind the brush
"Not being ghosts! That's for sure!" One of them said.
"Oh no, you're wrong. We're totally doing ghostly things. Like being invisible, and cursing stuff" You say
"Invisible? Yeah right! Nopony can do that!" One of them say
What?! "Bullshit! Unicorns can turn invisible!"
Funnily enough, it was curse words that began to spook them. "Gyah..another ancient word!" "I dunno, maybe he's telling the truth" "Yeah, I don't see them either" "Well, maybe they're unicorns. Hey, we're going to come down there and show you what's what. There's no intruders allowed here!"
You say in a ghastly manner"Indeed, but you are the intruders and will suffer our curse! I can prove we are ghosts"
"Well, then prove it!"
"We know all and see all, You...with the bandanna" You call out to the burly looking pony Daring Do had spotted earlier.
"Me?"
"Yes you....err.." Shit, you just said you saw all and know all. But you didn’t know his fucking name!
..Wait...ponies have cutie marks. "Quick, Daring" you whisper "what's that guy's cutie mark?"
Daring Do stealthily looks over with her binoculars, and without questioning why you needed to know, just says "A machete"
Hrn.....it could be a number of names.
It could be just Machete, Path Cutter, but what would roll off the tongue best?
...oh god..you hoped this worked. "Yes...You...Cutter Way, whose gold tooth shines as brightly has his mother’s own. I know yoooouuuu boooooo"
"......He knows my name" The guard was both spooked and astonished "See?! I told you!" "That's impossible...." "W-wait, everypony knows Cutter Way, he's a-a..ya know..a guy" "And his mother also has a gold teeth..." "Oh no, he knows that....wait...How many does she have?" Cutter asks you
......
You started to sweat
"Five..." Daring Do whispers to you
Huh?
You look over to Daring Do, who was looking at you with a serious look "It's five or four. But I think it's five. If his Mother did have gold teeth like him, then her teeth would be in worse condition as well and would require more replacements. I'd bet my hat it's probably five."
...Daring Do...she really was going along with this the whole way.
You really oughta read those books. "Fiiiiiive!"
Each guard went silent
"....This is the part where you all abandon your post and run away or else be cursed for being in our city" You say to them
Then you and Daring do let out a "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The guards suddenly began to panic and stomp over themselves to run away, running past the both of you in shrieking terror.
Daring Do emerged from the bushes with a smirk. "I have to admit, that was pretty amazing. Can’t believe that actually worked"
you popped out after her, just amazed that it worked. "Heh, I mean. of course it worked, but..." You may be pretty arrogant about shit like this. But without Daring Do, you would have been pretty fucked. Though, you had to say it, even if it sounded gay "It only worked because..."
Daring Do held her hoof up at you to stop you "Ah, just keep it at that. We did it together, and that's it. We don't have time to celebrate. C'mon, let's go" She stepped ahead past the door, and into the city
"O-ok.." Ok good, you didn't want to sound like a faggot anyway. You had this whole fucking speech about believing in each other, and friendship, and how awesome you both were…..egh...Who were you, Twilight? God, you hoped she wasn’t rubbing off on you.
The both of you made your way past the eastern archways into the city.
There were torches lit up all around the area, with the main part of the city dead ahead.
"So what do you know about stealth, kid?" Daring Do asks as she approaches the next archway
"Don't get caught, use the shadows, be aware of enemy search patterns...Metal gear..."
"..What?" She looks back at you, confused
"Uhm, I mean. just don't get caught and use the shadows."
Daring Do comes towards the first building near the last archway and presses herself against it, You follow close behind as she whispers to you. "That's only the basic idea. The problem is that it's clear Ahuizotl is waiting for us and probably has the whole place closely guarded."
"But it's night, surely we can get to him and the map if we're really careful...right? All we gotta do is stick to the walls and stuff. Pretend to be bushes and...woah" You see a giant spotlight sweep by
"Kid, not everything you read in books work. But don't worry, I know where his camp is, and a way to get to it." Daring Do says as she lifts her hat to pull out two straws. She tosses one towards you. "This place has a self dug river system going along the major parts of the city, Including the temple. All we have to do is swim to where we need to go. We just need to get past that searchlight." Daring Do leaned back and opened her wings "Which shouldn't be a problem. Hop on, and don't make a sound."
whatever works "Ok"
You hop on, and then Daring Do waits to make her move. "So, quick question since we have about forty or fifty seconds. Have you ever dealt with a situation where you've been spotted?"
.....yes "Yeah...why?"
"How did you handle it?" She asks you
You ran..or in the case of the griffons.. "How do you think? I dealt with it. Like when I dealt with those griffons"
"And you did that with your horn, right?"
"....I mean, yeah...But still, I mean, why are you even asking, like, right now?" It’s not like you couldn’t come up with something.
You felt like she didn't believe in you at all. You thought you proved you were capable.
"I'm asking because this is really dangerous. I've learned that sometimes I can't do this alone, and I know that this isn't really your fault. And given the situation, things are more tense than I expected. So, what I'm getting at is that I need a partner, not a foal, and certainly not a cocky hot shot. Because once we do this, and I'm serious, we have to be perfect. So tell me kid, can you do it?"
Partner? She was willing to see you as a partner? that quickly? "Man.." you snicker "Getting rid of those guards really impressed you, didn't it?"
Daring Do looks back at you with a hard stare
..scary "Ok ok, sorry. Yeah, I've done the whole partner thing before. You can count on me"
"Good, also..get ready. Because here we go!"
"Ok, I'm RERFdfdn-" You weren't ready as she kicked off and flew low towards the river. You nearly gave away your position with your yell, but a quick dip in the water muffled it quickly.
The water was a tad murky, but you could see well enough.
You also forgot to take your breath. And quickly began to feel the urge to breath.
You were going to die. If you went up now, you'd be caught and...
Daring Do once again gave you a hard stare as she pointed to her own straw. And then put it up slowly above the surface of the water to breath.
...Right...she JUST told you that.
You follow suit, and begin to swim behind her.
It was a tiresome swim towards your destination. Meanwhile, Daring Do was an expert, using her wings to help push her along without tiring her out.
When you both reached the inner sanctum of the city. Daring Do did some hoof motions for you to stay where you are as she popped her head up to peer around.
After a moment, she pointed up. signaling for you both to emerge.
She emerged without an issue, and very silently.
As for you? You were tired as shit and began to pant and wheeze. Daring Do had to quickly put her hoof to your mouth to keep you from breathing out too loudly. You both slowly made your way closer and closer to where the map had to be.
Before you was a huge tent by the temple, lit up by lanterns, with tons of supplies and barrels at the side of it. Daring Do pointed to the barrels and snuck towards them and hopped behind them. Again, you following suit, despite being fatigued.
She then began to whisper once you both found a good snug spot to hide in. "That could have gone better. How could you be so out of shape?!"
"I mean, I'm not that bad...It was a long swim. And you used your wings...That’s sorta cheating."
"Kid, when I was your age, I could swim two times longer than that without my wings. I still can do that. You look like you're going to fall over any second."
"....Don't we have more important things to worry about?" You say as tense up, trying to not seem as tired as you were. But dammit, you hated that she was calling attention to this.
"We do, but I'm trying to tell you. As somepony who doesn't want to read about how the hero colt kicked the bucket because some villain ran up a flight of stairs, just do some regular exercise, ok? And eat a little more. I'm sure some fillies think your cute or something. But you're small, and kinda a toothpick." Daring Do says, while keeping in mind how ridiculously hard your head is. She internally wondered how that even came to be. Clearly thats where all your muscle went.
....god, she was like a mother. A really naggy one. "..Yeah yeah, I have something lined up with Rainbow Dash. Which...I'll get to eventually a-"
Daring Do put a hoof over your mouth. The silence quickly being broken by the goon leader and Azuihotl entering the tent.
"I can't believe you let such a runty foal get away! This city is crawling with your ‘Best ponies’ and yet they couldn't keep a foal from coming in or escaping." Ahuizotl sounded pretty pissed about this.
"Mr.Azuh-"
"SILENCE! I will not hear any more excuses! no doubt he's escaped and already told Daring Do."
"Boss, I...I was thinking. What if he was telling the truth? What if he doesn't know Daring Do?"
"Then he should have been even easier to catch, no? You listen to me. I want him here, I want him to PAY for what he's done to me! Nopony gets away with bucking my unmentionables, NOPONY! I will have him, and Daring Do. And with the right eye, I shall make her...one of my pets. She will meow for me, She will raise her head to allow me to scratch under her neck, And she will pur when I pat her head. Oh yes, Miss Do will know what it will be like to finally be bested for the rest of her life." Azuihotl painted a pretty nice picture there.
You looked at Daring Do for a moment and blushed. With a collar, a smile, and her going for upsies to sleep on your lap. And maybe...
suddenly you hear a slam that breaks your thoughts
"WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?! FIND THOSE TWO AND BRING THEM TO ME! OR ELSE! I DON'T WANT TO BE DISTURBED ANY LONGER! I NEED TO STUDY THIS MAP, I NEED TO MAKE SURE EVERY PATH WE TAKE IS CORRECT. BECAUSE.....because.." Suddenly his voice becomes sinister. "If I have to second guess myself, you'll be the first to test a path in the maze. Do we understand each other?"
"Y-Yessir" The Goon leader says with a gulp, before dashing out of the tent.
"What an imbecile, clearly the advice of others has turned out to be a laughable joke and...NGH" Azuihotl suddenly grunts in pain "Wait! Hold on.....ugh. I should have asked him for a bag of ice. Ngh...that foolish colt. How dare he...ngh....ok...ok..fine, since they're useless. I'll just...walk over to the storage tent..and get some ice myself"
You then heard Azuihotl stumble out of the tent.
"....You hit him down there?" Daring Do asked you with a smirk.
"I did. Why, too dirty a hit?"
Daring Do stifled a snicker "No, I just kind of wish I had saw it myself. Ok, but serious time. I need you to do something important." She puts her hooves on you "This is really important,Anon. Can you do this for me?"
If you knew your cartoons right, you knew exactly what she was going to ask. And yes..you knew it was actually important. "You want me to stand guard, right?"
"...Y-yeah..how'd you..heh" Daring Do smirked "Ok, definitely have been underestimating you. You're pretty smart, you know that?"
Hah! Yes, she recognizes your genius "Yep, I know. I'll make a bird noise or something if anypony gets near the tent."
"Ok good, we're on the same wavelength. The moron probably left the map on the table. So I'll grab it, and we'll get out the way we came. We won't even go back to camp, we're just going to dart right back to civilization. Got it?"
You smirk back at her. "Oh, I'll do you one better. As I mentioned, I need the map back. If we toss it in the river, it'll take us straight back to my house."
"...Wow...looks like I'm going to get to see what the Spirit of Chaos's home looks like. I have to admit, you got me curious. Always kind of wondered what kinds of treasure the guy has."
"It's nothing much really, anyway, good luck, Daring Do"
She nods, and turns around. Saying nothing more as she climbs over the barrel, leaving you with the responsibility of taking guard.
Man..this was too easy
And you and Daring Do? You both were a fucking team.
You kinda wished you had the horn. But then she would have mocked you for needing it. You've done well enough so far to gain her respect and....
....Wait..why is there a kitten on the barrel next to you all of a su- "Shit!"
You jumped at the kitten and wrestled with it. The damn thing was feisty and was ripping you apart with it's deceptively sharp claws.
you moaned and groaned in pain. Eventually getting angry enough to just slam the kitten's face into a barrel and knock it out.
You were panting as you tried to remain still, gasping as low as you can from all the pain caused by the cat’s claws. "O-oh..s-stupid..c-cat...f-fucking..c-cats. They...a-a-are..the most retarded..s-s-shittiest..most idiotic and......a-aaah....s-shit" You were suddenly surrounded by the rest of the mob of jungle felines. "..fucking..really?"
Before you could make another move, you got pinned by the cheetah as the tiger roared for it's master.
The cheetah's paw was tight on your neck, preventing you from screaming for help.
That fucking kitten. That fucking....
"Well, well, well. We meet again, my little friend" You are suddenly pulled up by Ahuizotl's right hand as the cheetah moves its paw away from you. He brings you up to eye level as he gives you a stoic look.
You say nothing. Moreso from the fact you were still in pain. But then, from your silence, he just gives you a violent shake. "What's wrong? Nothing to say? Hmph! you have been very elusive, my little friend. But given what you have lost, it would only make sense for you to come back into the hands of I, the soon to be KING Ahuizotl".
Daring Do was still in the tent. Surely she knew you were in danger.
You wanted to yell for her. But then he'd know where she is, you weren't that stupid....
So you smirked at him."King? I thought you were a queen. Or does the little doggies still actually work?"
"Why you!" He began to shake you violently, even contemplating throwing you to the ground. But instead..he stopped. and once again held you up as he looked at you with a displeased look "Lucky for you, I'm in a good mood and in need of some good company to go along with it. Tell me where Daring Do is. Or you will suffer most terribly for what you've done to me!"
Fuck...
Whatever, all you had to do...was stall "I-I told you...I don't even know her. Just give me my map back. That's all I want"
"hmph! so defiant!" He gave you a smile befitting of even Chrysalis herself "I know what I shall do with you. I will make you dress like a filly, and you will like it and call ME father. I will leave some of your mind to yourself, so you will forever suffer knowing that I've conquered you"
"Wow, what's wrong there dog breath? Gotten sick of losing to me so much that you have to pick on a colt to feel better? That's just sad. Kind of makes me want to just return this to you just so you'll have a taste of what victory is like" That voice...
D-daring Do?
"....Ahhhgrrrrrr" Ahuizotl growled as he looked behind himself, seeing an arrogant yellow pegasus holding the map. "Daring Do! You...YOU'LL BE THE ONE TASTING VIC-....GRRR I MEAN DEFEAT!"
"Nearly slipped up there." She chuckled at him "But you'd be wrong about the kid. I just met him today. I admit, it was an honor to meet the son of Discord. And now I got to see what this map is all about too. Pretty nifty, already memorized the whole maze. So I won't be needing it any more. So...how about a trade?"
Was she bluffing?...She had to be bluffing.
No...right..she was. She’d be insane to trade you for the map.
Ha! That was probably a fake map. Hell, just looking at it. You could tell it wasn't yours.
And just as you thought he'd fall for it… "I don't think so Miss Do. This foal needs to learn his lesson, you see. As for you? I know you'd never leave a foal behind. You're simply too good, while I am too clever. Yes....I think I have a better deal. Surrender to me, and I will not harm him. But if you wish to flee now..." He holds you towards his jungle cats, which eye you with a lust for chomping you into bits. "Then at least I know my pets will have a hearty treat this night."
...Oh shit! Oh shit shit shit! "Geez...This just isn't my day....down kitties. down"
"You know, Ahuizotl. We've been doing this for a long time. We usually end up making a trade where we trick one another. Or you try to take both items at once by force. Or it's just a trap to capture me. Which is flattering to say the least. But this is downright low, even for you." Daring Do says as she starts eyeing him, aloof about the whole thing.
"The stakes are high, Miss Do. I do what I must to fulfill my ambitions" Ahuizotl locks eyes with her. Making sure not to drop his guard.
"Nah, the stakes aren't that high." Daring Do whips out a match, and immediately lights it and torches the map before anyone could make a move. "Now the stakes are high"
You gasped, Ahuizotl gasped, the cats gasped, even the encroaching goon squad gasped.
"MY MAP! WHY!? WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?!" Ahuizotl was astonished at this act.
Was it your map? Was it a bluff? Could your map burn like that? You didn't fucking know. But she was looking pretty damn serious now.
"Because, now I'm the only one who knows the path through the maze. So here's the deal. I'll take you to the eye. But you gotta let the kid go, sound fair?"
"You can't just burn my map and expect me to-" Ahuizotl was pissed as he shook you about. clenching his fists and crushing you as your face turned various colors from lack of breath. Dammit Daring Do, don't piss him off anymore. For the sake of your lungs.
Daring Do cuts him off. "You don't have a choice. If something happens to that colt, then I have no reason to stick around. And I'm the only shot you have! Make your choice, I know you want me and that eye really badly."
Wew, that tension. It was nearly sexual.
Ahuizotl went silent, he was contemplating hard. Even bringing his hand to his crotch for a moment as he balanced the want to avenge his nuts over getting the right eye. Then he growled and tossed you aside, making you roll to the ground "Deal....I'll simply have my revenge on him once I have the eye. As for you Daring Do, this has been a very long time coming. I plan to enjoy every second" He cackled with a sinister smirk.
You groaned as you picked yourself up, dusting yourself off as you silently murmured "Asshole..."
"Good. Now, I also believe I get a last request, right?" Daring Do looks to Ahuizotl, with more pathetic eyes this time. She really was giving up.
"I suppose I can allow it. A lifetime as my pet is all you have to look forward to after this" He says as he checks his fingernails, acting smug as if he won.
"Good, hey..Anon, come here" ....Surely she had a plan. Right?
You approached her slowly as the reality started to hit you.
This was your fault.
If you had just found a way out.
If you had picked up your map....
If you hadn't made fun of Discord's idea. "....Daring Do, I'm sorry..."
"For what?" She looks to you with a soft smile
"For this, for messing things up. I let a flippin kitten take me down for Celestia's sake.."
It really hit you hard. It was like all the fun was over. And that Daring Do's fate was your fault.
But she took off her hat, and placed it on your head as she gave you a rather motherly smile. "It's all part of adventuring, kid. You win some, you lose some. This isn't the first time he's captured me, you know that"
"Yeah..but.."
But she interrupts you again. "Look, no matter what happens, keep your chin up. things always work out in the end if you just work out the puzzle of the problem. Got it? The solution is always closer than you think"
"Touching, but I know you, Daring Do. " Ahuizotl snaps his fingers. His cats, along with the kitten, who was still dizzy from your head bash, surround her as the goons follow suit. "You had your word and your touching moment. Now is the time to lead me to my prize.” He then points to you “ And should YOU interfere, I will make due on my word. Consider yourself lucky, you impertinent brat."
You stick your tongue out at him. But he just turns his head to the side with a harumph, as Daring Do is shoved and pushed ahead into the temple, eventually leaving you alone where you sat. "DAMMIT! FUCKING! SHIT!"
You started to stomp the ground in a rage. How could she be so calm?! She couldn't have a plan to escape that many guards. And what if she didn't have the maze memorized?! She'd burn to death in hot tar!
But what could you do?! You shirked off training, you didn't have the horn, you couldn't even get back home! "WHAT DO I DO?! HOW DO I STOP THEM?! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME...GRRRR DAMMIT!"
You grabbed Daring Do's hat from your head and threw it to the ground. "...Daring Do...I'm sor-....wha?"
As it span along the ground, you noticed a piece of parchment sticking out. "...Is that....."
....The hat stopped spinning, only to reveal… "THE MAP!"
You quickly grabbed the hat and took the map in your hooves, holding it up high and humming the zelda tune. "Dananana motherfuckers! It's horn time! Don't worry, Daring Do! I'm coming!"
You put the hat on and gently curved it to help it fit more snugly on your head. You then rushed back to the river and tossed the map in, and made a jump.
But what you found at the other side of the portal was...rather abnormal.
You landed on your bed. which now felt...more natural than usual, it wasn't giving off it's signature warmth it usually did. "..What the.."
You pressed your hooves on it a few times. It felt...so normal.
You then took a look around your room. The floor door was gone, replaced with a normal door on the wall. The wallpaper was now a boring white.
You hopped off your bed when you noticed a small chest on your dresser.
Beside it was....your horn? And a note.
....what?
You pick up the note and start to read it. "Dear Anon, If you are reading this, then I can only imagine how incredibly sore you are about me sending you to find rather mediocre tea leaves. As I can't imagine you coming out to talk to me at this time, I humbly apologize for such a terrible joke through this note. It was wrong of me. I have returned your horn to you, and have given you a small chest of assorted chocolates. Please forgive me...Discord.....What in the...fuck?"
You carefully took the necklace...no trap.
You left the chest alone as you slowly approached the door and opened it slightly.
What you saw beyond it was horrifying.
Discord was dressed as Mr.Rogers, CLEANING his own house, with his own paw and talons. Nothing was out of place or out of the ordinary....
You slowly closed the door, disgusted with what you saw.
Besides, you had a daring to do!
You slap on the horn, and teleport to Daring Do's location.
But before that happens. "Geez! What the f-fuck?!" The horn begins to sputter and spit out sparks. Was it trapped?! "Discord! What did you-" You then teleported, unaware of the truth of what was going on with Discord, and how it was affecting your magic.
When you reappeared, you found yourself on an underground cliff, looking down on a huge golden cobra shrine with a shining red right eye. Ahuizotl was already approaching it with hungry eyes for his victory. The goons watched in awe, as did his jungle cats. Daring Do was tied up like an actual horse to a post...how degrading.
How did they even get here so fast? Daring Do said it took a super long time to navigate the maze.
It's as if your teleportation followed their tracks in a normal fashion until it hit a point as to when they fully stopped.
...that was weird. It was always usually so instant. But that was the only thing you can think of.
You only had one charge left. Daring Do made sure to get you that map so you could come back guns a blazing. And that’s what you planned to do. She was one hell of a horse. almost made you ALMOST want to get her in bed with you. Well, actually, you would love to have her in bed with you. But Diamond would kill you. ..ugh..you didn't want to upset Diamond. Best you get rid of such thoughts and-
"Boss! We got an intruder!" One of the goons point up to you.
GODDAMMIT! YOU GOT LOST IN YOUR THOUGHTS AGAIN!
Ahuizotl looked up to where the goon was pointing. "Ahhh! The Mini Do is here. That is amusing!" He chortles "I don't know how you followed us without anypony knowing. But not only are you too late to stop me, but you're just in time to witness my ascension as ruler of the WORLD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
You sigh, and smirk at him. You had this. "That's what they all say. .." You slap on the horn and point it right at him. Even from this distance, you didn't really need to aim to fuck him up. "But you'll be singing a different tune when I'm done with you"
Ahuizotl rolls his eyes "That's also, what they all say....You realize this, don't you? Besides, how can you possibly stop me? And with what? A toy horn?"
Daring Do looked up at you, and tried to get the ropes off her muzzle so she could speak.
You just look on from the cliff with an arrogant smirk "Exactly! Let Daring Do go and step away from the eye. Or things are going to get ugly, really quick."
The goons, and Ahuizotl burst into laughter. "He's kidding right?" "He has to be, what a stupid kid" "Oh man, I can't wait to see this" "Isn't somepony worried that we're about to become zombie slaves?" "...I really wish my horn was stylish like that..."
Ahuizotl raised his arms high, and slammed at his chest as he gave you a hearty sneer "Go ahead, foolish colt. Show me the power of that horn. And then? you will behold the power of the eye! Daring Do, I want you to witness this, to see how much of a failure you are compared to the GREAT AHUIZOTL! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Get bent! Asswipe!" You fired off magic from the horn.
Your plan was to just shoot out a ton of lasers that would just utterly decimate him. If he had to die, then fine. Sometimes it was well deserved.
What actually happened, however, was that the entire inner sanctum of the temple...was turned into an office building.
A normal...ordinary...office building.
You,the goons, Daring Do, and Ahuizotl were all in snazzy business suits as you found yourselves in the grand lobby of the building. With marble pillars in rows, potted plants placed along them, a desk at the end for the receptionist, and a glowing sign on the wall saying "Normal co."
It was something out of the matrix. ".......Uhhhhhhhhh..."
The goons let out an "uuuhhhhh" as well
the cats let out mewoish "uhhhs"
"HAHAHAHAHa...haha...ha...." Ahuizotl stopped laughing when he realized the venue had changed "...What happened?...Where are.....GYAAAAAAH! MY EYE!" He looked back to where the altar with the eye should stand, it was now a water dispenser.
This...was not what you had in mind at all. What the fuck was wrong with your magic?
Daring Do however, slowly backed up. The magic you cast had also freed her from her binds. And she was ready to make a grand escape.
She then slowly picked up a potted plant by the plant itself, and slowly floated up.
"Time to take this for a whirl!" She began to spin about in mid air, smashing the faces of many a goon in a tornado of pain and destruction as the pot part of the plant slams into the faces of all in her path.
Ahuizotl was speechless, still in shock over the whole thing as he began to caress the water dispenser. "Eye...a-are you in there?" He knocks on it
Daring Do however, was amazing to behold. Her tornado of head smashing finally ended when the pot finally shattered. Leaving only a few goons left unsmashed.
She hovered over beside you as she kept an eye on the remaining goons. "Heh, what took you so long?"
"..I...Urm...Don't..know? I don't know what's going on at all..."
"Are you kidding me? Isn't this crazy place part of your spell?"
"...I..Don't know. I was just going to blast Ahuizotl to bits. And then this happened. I think something is wrong with my horn."
"Well that's fantastic to hear. What happened to the eye?"
"No clue..."
"More good news...We can't just leave without that eye. Oh...And thanks for coming back for me, kid. I'd actually want this to be a more heartfelt moment over some tea but you know how it is with bad guys. Never let you catch a break."
"Yeah, there's a few of them left. And Ahuizotl is gonna be as mad as a hornet when he snaps back to reality."
"Yeah, and those jungle cats are no joke either.We might not be able to fight them all off at once. So? we're gonna need a nasty spell to knock em out." Daring Do looks to you with a confident nod.
"...Erm..can't" Yeh...out of charges.
"Why not?"
"I only get two charges with my horn. And I used the other one to get here"
".......Kid...You really need to plan better." Daring Do says as she puts her hoof to her face disappointingly
"Hey! This doesn't usually happen! It usually does what I want it to do!"
"Don't worry about it. We just need to figure out where the eye is, get it,and get out. But..where to look..." Daring Do looked around quickly for an exit from the scene.
You pondered on it for a moment. And it didn't take you long to figure something out. Mere seconds actually "aha! Using my Saturday Morning Logic! I know exactly where the eye is!...We just..er..need to get past these guys. Any ideas?"
"....Saturday Morning, what?"
"It's er..a thing I do. Look, do you have a plan or not?"
"First of all, yes. And second of all, how hard is your head?"
...wut? "REALLY?! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE FUN OF ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!"
"No, I'm being serious! how hard is it! How tough is your skull!" She barked at you
She was serious?.... "..Erm...I think one time I got hit with a gigantic metal ball and-WOAH!"
Daring Do grabbed you with her wings as if they were hands and held you forward head first. "Good enough! I dunno what it is, kid. But how you scared those guards, how you knew what I wanted you to do, and just the way you think and talk. I think I got one of those ‘Saturday Morning’ ideas you just mentioned"
“W-what?! W-what do you mean by that?!" ...she wasn't..SHE WOULDN'T!
"BRACE YOURSELF! WE'RE GOING THROUGH!" And she started to rush forward as you screamed a blood curdling yell. Your head was slammed into many a goon, slammed so hard they went flying upwards towards the ceiling as Daring Do went for a hallway, and rushed into a room full of cubicles.
"HA! It worked! Good work, kid. You got us through"
She put you down gently next to a desk. You wobbled for a moment and slouched beside it. "I love you too, Mommy..."
"W-what?" Daring Do said in surprise. “Mommy? Are...you alright?”
You shook your head and recovered your senses. You realized you said something embarrassing, and tried to make it sound like something else. "I said pastrami.....pastrami...yeah, because I’m kinda hungry. anyway, Where are we now?"
"Looks like some weird work room, with strange screens and lettered tablets. Wires everywhere. What kind of place is this?" Daring Do was curious at the modern wonders around her.
You groaned "...It's a workplace"
"Really?...weird..I'd love to be able to take a look around this whole place. But I doubt Ahuizotl is going to sit still for long. You said you knew where the eye might be, right? Because we have to find it and destroy the lens. I want it in a museum. But even I know leaving the lens intact is too dangerous. A shame too, but there just has to be jerks in the world that want to ruin things for everypony else"
"..Yeah...I know how that is. As for the eye’s location...hmmm." Where else would such a small but personal item be kept in a place like this? You knew exactly where. "We have to get to the top floor, to the boss's room. That's where it would be."
"Alright then, you seem to know this kind of place better than I do. So lead the way" Daring Do stepped behind you, taking a look back to make sure no one had spotted them yet.
You quickly began to look around the maze of cubicles. This kind of place was familiar to you. There should be a door that leads to a hall that would lead to a break room, maybe a set of doors and an elevator that...There it is. "Down here, quick" You dashed over to the hallway to see if it indeed had an elevator or a set of stairs. But just as you were about to reach it, two goons hop out from the other end and rush towards you.
"Head's up, kid!" Daring Do calls out to you
"Wha?" You look backwards, only to be smashed by a computer CRT monitor. You fall backwards as the monitor bounces off your head and flies into one of the goons while the power cord wraps along the legs of the other, tripping him up.
Daring Do cringes as you lay there, you look pretty dazed. "K-kid? You alright? I said heads up!"
You just stared at the ceiling, into the eternal abyss of solid white that was your life. "I ask myself the same question sometimes. But maybe I'm lucky that everything hits my head. It could be worse, for what is a skull anyway? a mass of bone spread in a thin layer to protect the fragile mind and..."
"Anon..." Daring Do helped you up and waved her hoof in front of you "C'mon, snap out of it. Where do we go now?"
"What?" Oh right, you were trying to escape and find the eye. Not philosophize on why there are worse things than getting your skull smashed in. "R-right. Ok...We need to..erm"
You look around the hallway walls and see a ornate door with buttons beside it. That was the elevator. "There it is! The elevator"
"An elevator, in a place like this..." Daring Do chuckled as she looked at the buttons and door with curiosity. "You really warped the entire place, didn't you? If it wasn't for the fact that there's nothing but dirt and stone outside those windows. I'd think we were really somewhere else"
Dirt outside the windows, so you all were still underground? So..you really did warp the entire temple. Accidentally of course.
And with all these floors, you counting 100,Then that meant that the upper floor must be above ground. Perfect! You both can grab the eye and leave!
"Yeah, but like I said. I didn't mean for this to happen. It's weird...Dad was acting weird too, actually. I wonder if there's a connection with that"
"Well, if there is, we'll have to figure it out later. We need to use this elevator to get somewhere, right?" She presses the button as the doors immediately slide open.
"Yep, all the way to the top. If it's like the business buildings my mind is thinking of. There's going to be a golden hall of receptionist tables, and behind those will be two huge doors to the C.E.O's room. That's where it's gotta be"
"Then that's where we're heading." Both you and Daring Do enter the elevator as she presses the top most button. Making the elevator close and rise up.
As you both waited inside the elevator. A tune started to play.
It was the Mario 64 peach's castle theme. "...Oh hey! I know this song!"
"You do? Weird...Didn't take a colt to remember silly little elevator music"
"No no, this song. It's from a game..and it's super catchy. Whenever I hear it, I can't help but hum along. It's been so long since I've heard it too. But it's still great, do..do do do dodododo. do do do do dododo..."
"A game? Like those arcade games? Ugh.." Daring Do rolls her eyes "Those things are such a waste of time"
"Exactly! Their fun...wait. You don't like arcade games?" You look at her with a sour face...then again, you shouldn't be surprised. She liked moving around and adventure. Not being stuck in one place.
"I just never cared for them. Foals like them sure, but it's such a waste of bits"
"Well...I guess I can't argue that. But still, you gotta admit. This is pretty catchy"
"...eh, I'll stick to the classics"
"Suit youself, I'm gonna enjoy this while we wait. Dananananana dananana na Dananananana nanana na na na...."
You started to bob your head along to the music as the elevator slowly made its way up. There were about one hundred floors to get to the top so it was going to take a little time.
As you started to sway along to the music, Ahuizotl and his goons started to leave your mind. Idiots would never figure out where you were headed or where the eye was, so now was a time of repreive and good jams.
Hell, when you both nab the eye. you both could vamoose through a window at the top floor.
As you bobbed and plotted, you suddenly started to hear someone else humming along.
"Do do do do dododo....do do do do dododo..."
You slowly peer over to Daring Do, who was very very lowly going along with the song as she leaned against the wall.
"AHA!" You pointed over to her "I knew it was catchy! Even you can't avoid it's charm!"
"What?" Daring Do stopped when you caught her, she hadn't even realized she was going along with it until you pointed it out. " I....huh...erm....Ok fine, I guess it's a little catchy. tch, kids these days and their toys"
"C'mon Daring Do, You're never too old to enjoy a video game" you started to bounce closer to her has you hummed "Do do do dodododo" You gave her a nudge as you smirked at her "Do do do dododo"
Daring Do just groaned as she gave you a slight push.
But you just slid back to her side, and gave a gentle tug at her wing "Dananananana danana na nanana"
".....Danananaaa naa naa na na, Dananana naa naa naa" She slowly began to go along with it.
"Dododododo do" You hummed
"Dododod do do" And then she hummed, more vibrantly this time.
And finally, you had a duet of "do dos" and "nanas" as you both started to sway to the music.
This went on for a good while until suddenly, the elevator stopped...a few floors before the top.
At first, Daring Do and yourself hadn't noticed as you enjoyed yourselves
But then the doors opened, there were rows of goons behind it.
And then the music stopped
"Well, that stinks...I was really starting to...oh.." Daring Do notices the goons, and stopped mid sentence.
"Starting to what, hmm? Do you mean you were enjoying...your…..self?...crap!." ...what the fuck?! "HOW DID YOU GUYS GET HERE BEFORE WE DID?! WE USED THE ELEVATOR!"
They then began to give their replies "We ran up the stairs!" "Super fast, and now we're taking you to the boss!" "Hold on a second, guys...I'm..still catching my breath." "Me too!" "Me three!" "Yeah, That was a work out..I need a second too!"
Daring Do pointed to the mostly tuckered out army "See, kid? This is what I meant about staying fit, I just wanted you to be better than slobs like these. Look at them, don't even realize that they can't catch us"
"What? We have you surrounded. You can't beat ALL of us!" The one in front yelled out, he seemed to be the least tired, in fact. You think he was the goon leader, you had no clue, they all looked like generic pony thugs to you, even with the nice business attire you all had on.
Daring Do looks to you and whispers "Anon, grab on to my leg"
You silently grab onto her leg tightly. Whatever she had planned, it was probably ridiculous. So best to hold on tight.
She then looks to the goons and salutes "Don't have to, see you later." And then Daring Do launched up, through the elevator hatch on top. You hadn't even noticed it, but holy crap, were you screaming from the sudden jolt of movement.
And Daring Do herself? She was damned smart. When she got out into the elevator shaft, she karate chopped the thick elevator cable, sending the elevator crashing down before a single goon could even get into it.
When they looked up into the shaft, she gave them another arrogant salute before flying all the way to the top, forced open the doors, and flew inside.
However, what you expected wasn't what you got.
instead, it was a room more akin to Mr.Burn's office from the Simpsons. Dark, filled with books on one side. A single window behind a lonely desk in the back. Well carpeted, like a study in a mansion.
And the boss's chair was facing towards the window which outside, you could see the building towered over the city. Which meant you could escape….just having to ride Daring Do herself. Lest you wanted a ton of broken bones.
you were catching your breath as Daring Do looked around. "Alright kid, where's the eye? Where do we look? You don't think it's a secret passage behind that book case, do you?" She walks over to the bookcase and starts tugging at a few of the books there.
"Nope, it should be...." You take a look under the desk and see a safe on the floor with a digital display, and numbers on the buttons. "Right here...in this safe. Hrm, with a locked code."
Daring Do goes over to where you are and looks down at it "Looks weird. But you know the code, right?"
You smirk. she asked such an obvious question. "Of course I do. Check this out. 1..3...3...7. Haha! Open..."
ACCESS DENIED
"..Sesame?"
"Did that thing just talk?" Daring Do found the advanced technology a little off. She also noticed the safe didn't open.
"Yeah...hold on" you started to ponder, how could it not be that number?
Maybe it was… "2...0..10"
ACCESS DENIED
"This kind of reminds me of the Catacombs of Troticinni. There was a chamber where you had to press in the correct panels on the wall to open the right door. But you had to make sure you got the order right, because if you ended up pressing the wrong ones….well...let's just say it isn't pleasant" Daring Do continued to observe you as you tried various other numbers to no avail.
"We get unlimited tries on this one but..GRRR! None of the numbers I can think of are working! STUPID THING! HYAAAAOWWW!" You slam your hoof on it as hard as you can, but it just didn’t budge “...c’mon...we were so close…”
"Relax, kid. You won’t be able to think if you keep getting riled up like that" She moves in front of the safe and takes a look "Let me give it a shot."
Daring Do tries the a few numbers of her own, mentioning that they corresponded with a few important numbers known to the natives. Apparently they had a thing for calendars . Those inputs she made, however.....didn't work either.
"Ok then...I'd use some of the dynamite I left back in the camp, but this safe…” She knocks on it a few times “Is pretty durable, it might actually be able to resist the blast.” She then looks to you and tilts her head in confusion “.Why can't you just use your magic to open it again?"
"Two charges a day...and I used em"
"Right..I remember you mentioning that. Well, what about those books? You think they might have a clue?"
Daring Do goes over to the bookcase, and grabs one.
"Maybe"
"Maybe not..." Daring Do looks at the book she takes with a scowl and drops it, she does the same with the next few books.
"What's wrong?"
"All blank. That's a bust. hmmm, so let me ask this" Daring Do takes a moment to stretch "How tough are those kinds of safes?"
"My guess? Nearly indestructible"
"Darn..Well, just go in order, I guess. There's no chance any of those goons are getting up here, and if we just try everything, one of the codes should work eventually."
"Right. Ok" And so you begin. Punching in number after number as quick as possible until you can find the right combination.
"Say...Anon. I have a question for you. I didn't really give it too much thought until now. But, you aren’t like any other colt I ever met. You're from another dimension, right?"
...She..was asking about that?
Despite overcoming that Tantabus long ago, with some of your friends learning the truth about you, you’d think you’d be more comfortable with someone figuring out your secret on their own. But for some reason, her asking that question made you feel slightly uncomfortable. "Yeah...erm. I used to be a human from a place called earth....ummm..why do you ask? I mean, you’re not even weirded out at all by that?" She didn’t seem to have as grand a reaction as you thought she’d have
"I just wanted to know. And nah, I’ve seen weirder. Still, I get curious about things that are out of the ordinary. You probably should write a book about it."
you felt there was a cosmic irony in that sentence. that you felt your worry pass as you chuckle. "I know right? But ponies are pretty sensitive about certain things. Don't think they'd be too happy to read about me palling around with the queen of the changelings"
Daring Do scoffed "Eh, those are the kinds of critics you shouldn't really listen to. I think it'd be a nice read. Not everyday somepony gets sucked out of their world like that. But,you don't miss your original parents or anything like that?"
you shook your head, those words didn’t even phase you. In fact, given how casual the conversation was going, you started to feel more at ease. "Not really, they passed before I ended up here. And don't feel bad for me, I don't sweat it. My Dad more than makes up for everything."
"You're a pretty strong kid,Anon. Don't let anypony tell you different. Though..speaking of the changeling queen, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened to her?"
"I dunno. She ran away. But oddly enough, I still feel that we're friends. It's just that we both know that we would never betray the ones we love for one another. And she refuses to reform so, I had to accept that. But still...even though I don't know where she is and know she's still evil, I hope she's ok"
Daring Do snickered
"What's so funny?"
"You. And don't take that the wrong way. Because I'll say it again, this would make a pretty interesting book. Being friends with her, I can't really imagine what that's like. But I could tell from the way you sound, your words….Heh, was she that good a friend?"
"She made things interesting. And even though she denies that she did any good, there's a lot of things in my life I have thanks to her, whether she meant for it to happen or not. I'd never betray my friends or family for her though, but if she came to me for help, actual help, I think I'd give her a hoof"
"Heh, makes me wonder if Ahuizotl has that kind of soft spot. Don't tell anypony I said this. But the guy is pretty darn good at treasure hunting. There's so many artifacts in the world that just can't be uncovered alone. I'm sure if we worked as a team we'd be able to find them no problem." But she shrugs "But what are you gonna do, huh? The guy is a jerk. I guess that's why I feel pretty darn great when I beat him in something."
"Oh? What, do you like him or something?" You look up to smirk at her
She rolls her eyes "Not even close. But we've been rivals for so long that usually when we meet, it's always going through the rounds. One of us outsmarts another, he gets the item sometimes, he comes close to victory, i snatch it away in the end. And sometimes there's a few differences. Like today. today I got to team up with a pretty cool guy"
...You stop guessing numbers at the moment to look up at her, deeply surprised. "Really? You think I'm cool?"
"Don't look too deeply into it, kid. I'm mostly making conversation. But yes, you're pretty ok"
Sounded like she was back peddling there. "Heh, well. I guess you're pretty ok too"
"AND YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?! I THINK YOU TWO WILL FINALLY MEET YOUR DOOM!"
Wut?
You and Daring Do look over at the elevator. Ahuizotl, breathing heavily from anger, was standing there. Seems he forced his way in. But how?! "HOLY CRAP?! HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!"
"...I climbed. WITH MY HANDS!" Ahuizotl raised his fist, then pointed at Daring Do "AND YOU, DARING DO! THIS IS THE END! THE EYE IS MINE! YOUR FATE IS SEALED!"
Daring Do groaned "You ALWAYS say that. Yet here we are, having another ‘final’ meeting. Just give up, Ahuizotl, I'm not in the mood. You're alone, your goons and your cats are downstairs, you have NO element of surprise, and it's two against one. You have no chance"
"That is where you are wrong!" Ahuizotl rips his suit off and smashes his fists against his chest "You will indeed have your fate sealed today! This, I promise! The eye will be mine! And if I must destroy the both of you to have it! Then so be it!"
"Yeah yeah..." Daring Do enters a battle ready stance "Let's just get it over with"
In a panic, you began to put in numbers at a faster pace as Daring Do and Ahuizotl begin their battle.
Daring Do goes for a buck. But Ahuizotl bounces away from her with a wide jump....and lands right in front of you.
"HAHA! I have fooled you Miss Do. I only need the foal to achieve my VICTORY!" Ahuizotl chortled as he once again made a grab for you.
.....great..this shit again.
He grabbed you quickly and held you in front of Daring Do.
"Really? This again? It's getting old real quick, Ahuizotl" Daring Do, despite her mocking words, was visibly angry that he attacked you at all. Like a mother growling at a predator trying to get her child.
"....You know, you are right Miss Do. I too tire of this game. But this foal still must pay, so I will be keeping him. And should you try anything, I will make sure he will never know what it is like to take another breath" Ahuizotl holds you out in front of her, taunting her while bobbing you up and down.
"You're that desperate, huh?" She was walking from side to side, never losing eye contact with him, furious with him.
But he just smirked as he sat on the “Boss’s” seat, and looked down at the safe as he pressed you against the top of the desk. "More like I'm too close to victory that I cannot allow any more mistakes....hmmm" He seemed to be unable to figure out how the safe's input system worked.
"Yeah, you're not getting that eye. Let the kid go, Ahuizotl."
"I shall, after he tells me how to open this thing" He holds you up to eye level "You! Foal! Tell me how to open this contraption. Or I will make sure each of my goons make you feel how you made me feel. We'll all take a turn. And I promise not to show you any mercy before you continue the rest of your life after that as my adorable little daughter"
NOPE! Fuck that. This guy was a nutcase. Did you really traumatize him that badly? What a fucking baby.
Maybe...just maybe. You could set him up for Daring Do to knock him out.
...You hope this wouldn't break your teeth. "Get fucked!"
You open your mouth and clench down on his fist.
What you didn't expect is for him to be so surprised by your bite that he squealed like a girl before shaking you off...and through the window.
"ANON!" Daring Do reached out for you as you began your descent.
And boy, were you high. Those hundred floors were even higher up than the highest point of what the temple originally was.
"DAMMMIIITTTT!" Was all you could yell as you realized you bit down too hard and caused your own downfall.
You were about to go out like a salaryman. "..S-shit.."
How could you not foresee this?
How could you...
"ANON! HOLD ON! I'M COMING!"
Daring Do?
Holy shit! She was diving down to catch you. "DARING DO! HELP!"
You reached out to her. But she wasn't nearly as quick as Rainbow Dash, she was having trouble catching up. "I'M COMING! NGGGGHHH!"
She was almost there, she was reaching her hoof out for you.
You shot your hoof up to hers, but you couldn't quite reach. And the ground was coming up pretty damn fast. "NGGGH!"
"MNNNGH!"
...Wait… "DARING DO!"
You quickly stop reaching for her hoof, and instead go for your saddle bag and open it up.
"ANON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? REACH FOR MY HOOF!" Daring Do yelled out
"HOLD ON! WAIT..C'MON..C'MON!..YES!" You pull out the grappling hook launcher that BonBon had given you some time ago. "HEY! DARING DO! CATCH!"
You attached the grappling hook to your foreleg, and shot it upwards. Daring Do dodged it, getting surprised as to what it was. But when she noticed the rope trailing upwards, She grabbed it and pulled up. Bringing you along with it.
...Thank you Bonbon.
"...That...was close. Hah" Daring Do chuckled nervously "That was quite a plan, kid. Where did you even get this kind of grappling hook?"
...Thank god you even remembered it. "A friend. I..almost forgot about it actually"
"Well it's a good thing you remembered. Look, I'm going to take you down to the bottom. It's too dangerous to take you up with me, I don't need you to get hurt."
"What?! But we're a team, Remember?!"
"Yeah, but that was too close. I don't want you getting hurt. Alright?"
She didn't want you getting hurt?! But you were so close...both of you were so close to the eye.
..getting hurt....
....hurt....wait "HOLD ON! THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY BE A PLAN!"
"Kid, if you're talking about using your head again. It isn't happening. Once Ahuizotl sees us flying up, he'll be ready to make the catch. I'm taking you down to the ground"
No..NO!
There had to be something you could do. Something that would help.
If only you had a charge left.
If only you could use the horn.
"Maybe if you could use that horn of yours, I'd take you back up. But since you can't use it. There's no reason to put you into any more danger." She tells you as she nears the ground itself.
use that horn...
Could you?.
....wait.... "DARING DO! YOU'RE A GENIUS!"
"...Why?! Wait...can you use the horn again?"
"Sort of. Check this out!" You plop the horn on your head. Without a charge, it remains as a Nightmare Night prop, and gives you the visage of Sombra.
"...Woah..Kid, what kind of magic is that?!" Considering Daring Do had no reason to believe it was a prop, she thought what she saw before her was a form of dark magic.
"..The power...of illusion" And with that. Daring Do becomes a little more attentive to your words. You explain to her your simple plan, to use this element of surprise to shock Ahuizotl and knock him out with a good hit.
"You're crazy, kid. You know that?"
"But it's a good plan, right?"
Daring Do smirks as she starts to rise up, signifying she was ok with it. "It's something. Alright, let's do it"
Daring Do starts to rise back up towards the broken window. Where a frustrated Ahuizotl is feverishly at work trying to open the safe.
"BLASTED THING! HOW DARE YOU KEEP ME FROM MY PRECIOUS EYE!" He growled as he uselessly pressed at the buttons.
Daring Do flew high above the window where she wouldn't be seen as you hung on the rope below her.
With the way you were hanging, and with the "Dark" magic flowing ever outward from your brow, it looked like you were flying with the power of evil power/ "Ahuizotl!"
"...Again?! HOW IS IT YOU ARE AS ANNOYING AS THAT DARING...Do?" He turned around, only to see you "hovering" in place. The dark magic covering and hiding the rope as you gaze at him with your evil eyes "What is this?!"
"I told you! I am the son of Discord! and I have summoned up my powers to bring you nothing but doom and destruction. I have destroyed that meddlesome Daring Do like an insect. And now....I shall crush you!"
"I-Impossible! I-I saw you... You and her were acting like friends!" He was backing up, afraid of your “dark” powers.
"And yet here I am. right where the eye happens to be. She served her purpose. But you? You were never needed."
"W-Wait! You don't need to destroy me! I am willing to forgive your transgressions! Perhaps..we can even be partners!" He tried to bargain with you
"SILENCE! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM! THIS IS THE END FOR YOU AHUIZOTL!" You yell out menacingly.
"NOOOO! PLEASE! NOOOOO!" He held his arms up to defend himself.
“ok, now!” You tugged at the rope just a tad to alert Daring Do to swing you at him. You were gonna smash his head with your hoof and knock him out.
The problem was, Ahuizotl was such in fright that when you got launched and retracted your grappling line, you went passed Ahuizotl as he fell unconscious. And so you flew further than you should, smashing your head into a very elegant bust of some pony.
You fell to the ground in a daze. "..G-g-goddammit......dammit..."
Daring Do flew in a few moments later to see Ahuizotl knocked out on the ground as she saw you slowly getting up. "Kid, you did it! Good wor-...you alright?"
"....Yeah, just wondering if there's a god or not"You said as you rubbed your head, your eyes spinning.
"Which one? There's a whole ton of gods ancient ponies and..most ancient races worshipped."
..Dammit.. "Ergh..Nevermind. Did I do it though? Is the guy out?"
"Out cold. You never cease to amaze, kid. Then again. Ahuizotl has always been kind of a boob. So I guess it isn't that impressive"
..not impressive? "What? C'mon, this is my first adventure with you and I was the one who took him out. That's gotta be worth something."
"Mmmmmmm. Ok, I'll let you have it. Beginners luck, but hey, still earned" She gives you a jokey kind of smirk, and then places her hat on your head. "And you can wear this for the rest of the adventure. You took him out, so you deserve it"
...you actually felt touched. It was like an honor.
even if you weren't a Daring Do fan. Earning someone's respect like that, it felt really nice. "Thanks Daring Do. I don't know what to say..."
"Ahh c'mon. Don't get mushy on me now. Besides, we still need to figure out how to get the eye before this guy wakes up"
"..Yeah...but i've been through so many codes. What else could it be? If only there was a set of numbers I could remember that I would have set....but I've used every number I can think of......wait...except for....what did you call Ahuizotl again?"
"A boob, why?"
Boob....Boobies.
...Breasts.
Gazungas...
But most importantly… "Daring Do..you're a genius!"
"...Because I called him a boob?" She was so confused.
But you? You dashed back to the panel and put in 8008.
ACCESS GRANTED!
And then the safe opened. Revealing a monocle piece adorned with golden cobras at it's edges. The lens was a strange glowing purple, and the cobras that went around the eye piece weaved in such a way to make it look like one slithery half of a mask. "..Exactly...."
You then gazed upon the eye "is this it?"
"...Woah..yeah...that's it." But then she pondered "...How did you get this thing opened? From me calling him boob? Really? That doesn't make any sense"
....... "Don't worry about it. It's a human thing. ..But wow. I've never seen anything like it. Can it really do what Ahuizotl said it can?"
"Yeah, most likely"
You begin to smirk evilly. "...Are we going to use it on him?"
Daring Do stopped, and noticed your smirk. She sighed and took the eye "...No, as much as I'd like to. And as much as I wish that I could keep this thing fully intact...." She takes out a small camera to take a few snapshots of it, and then she smashes the eyepiece.
"What in the?! Why?! We worked so hard to get it!"
"And we got it. But it's too dangerous to just give it to a museum as is. I really wanted to keep the thing fully intact. But with guys like Ahuizotl around, I had to at least smash the lens. Trust me, it wasn't easy. But sometimes..you just gotta do what you gotta do."
"I guess" You were pretty disappointed "I just wanted to make him think he was a girl or something. Y'know, after he threatened me so much"
Daring Do chuckled as she ruffled your mane "Don't be such a kid, kid. You should know as a hero, that you can never ever let dangerous things get into the wrong hooves...speaking of which"
She started to eye your necklace "That horn, you wouldn't mind me having a quick look see, would you?"
"Woah, you wanna wait until we're in bed first?" You smirk at her, but she didn't get it
"What?" She didn’t realize you used the word “horn” as a pun
"Er..nothing. Bad joke...umm. Sure, why not? I want to know what the great Daring Do has to say about the horn." You remove the necklace from around your neck and give it to Daring Do for inspection.
"Huh, touching this makes me feel a little...weird. There's some strong enchantments on this, huh?"
"More than that. Unlike some of the other stuff I have from my Dad, the horn itself is directly tied to his power. The necklace though... It's just enchanted with a spell so that it can never be taken off of me by others if I'm wearing it"
"That's good. So it means it can't be stolen from you just like that. Hmmm" She took careful note of the necklace itself "This metal is pretty rare, very durable and near unbreakable. I've seen it before. It's the kind of metal that makes up royal crowns and such. I'm going to take a guess that Princess Celestia gave this to you"
"Yeah, that's right. How did you know?"
"The suns on the necklace. Dead give away"
...oh "Right...so what about the horn?"
"Yeah...it's cheap plastic with a slightly pricy jewel in the inside of it to harness certain magic like a small battery. I'm guessing your father's magic comes through that jewel."
"I...Guess? I never really gave it much thought"
"Yeah, I'm sure of it. If it wasn't for the necklace, nopony would really realize how valuable it really is. And hmm, it has no power in it right now, as you've said. Shame, I kind of wanted to try it out"
You scoff at her "Really? Hypocritical, don't you think?"
She just shrugs your words off with a smirk "Yup, but I didn't want to use it to mess with Ahuizotl, I just wanted to try it out on rope"
Wut? "Rope? Why rope?"
"You'd be surprised how many times I get tied up. Would have been nice to have something set up so I can just break out of it whenever it happens"
....Tied up a lot ,eh?
...That made you wonder...
You started to blush as you spoke "A lot huh? You...wouldn't have been tied up by living tentacles at all, would you?"
"Weird question. But yeah, it happened once"
You gulped, you needed to know more "What happened...exactly?"
"Not much, it held me by all four of my legs, and slithered up my shirt to take an idol I had. And if your next question is how did I escape, well..that's simple. The idol had a keyhole , it held a jewel you see, and I said I had the key in my mouth. I tricked the tentacle's master into checking my mouth with one of the monster's tentacles and I bit hard. Thing went nuts, but it let me go and I gave it's controller a good thrashing"
....That's pretty hot… "..Interesting. "
"I guess, not one of my finer....are you blushing?" She noticed you staring at her
"U-Uhm...nope. I'm just a little hot, that's all"
"Look kid, I'm too old for you. And I'm not easily flattered either. You best set your sights somewhere else before your heart gets crushed"
"Hey! I have a marefriend! Thank you very much!" Thank god she thought you were just liking the way she looked. And didn't realize the situation she described is what got you off. Because that would have been awkward.
She laughed, and waved her hoof at you "Relax kid, don't take it so personally. I was just messing with you a little. Hmmm" She smiled as she looked at the horn "It's funny. I remember once, at a convention. Two fans, one dressed as me and another as King Sombra, asked me who would win...y'know. Me or King Sombra."
"Ok..first of all. Why is there a guy dressed as Sombra at a Daring Do convention?"
She shrugged "look kid, I stopped asking those kinds of questions years ago when the body pillows started popping up."
..Body pillows, eh? You had to make sure to pick up one of those.....for research.. "Ok then. Secondly, what did you say?"
"Fans are pretty delicate. If you give them a hard answer, they'll just send letters endlessly to each other about how wrong I am or right I am and it turns into a mess. So I gave them an answer that would imply either one could win and it works out for everypony."
That makes sense. Fans did become total retards whenever a shitty hard answer was given on anything. "Gotcha"
"Yeah, well. Here's your horn back. We should head back to camp, I'm beat. And I don't want to hang around here anymore, I don't do well in corporate settings"
She tosses the horn back at you, but as you go to catch it. A fisted tail comes between the both of you and nabs it first.
"WHAT?!" Daring Do steps back in surprise
"SHIT!"
You both heard loud cackling as Ahuizotl stood in front of the desk. Holding the horn up high in victory "HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW THE POWER OF THE DRACONEQUUS IS MINE!"
"Ahuizotl! When did you-" Daring Do said, before being interrupted
"Wake up? Aha, Miss Do. I never went down. I merely pretended. I was going to take the eye from you, but after witnessing such fearsome power, I decided to set my sights for something far greater" He snickered in delight
That fucker! NOW HE BELIEVES?! "Really?! REALLY?! NOW YOU BELIEVE I'M THE SON OF CHAOS?! SERIOUSLY?!" You were fucking pissed. Things would have gone more smoothly if he believed it at the start. Could have just taken the tea leaves and went home.
"Indeed, but now that title shall be changed. For now, the great Ahuizotl will become that of a DEITY! And then you two will suffer a worse fate than merely thinking you are what I want you to be. Because now, YOU SHALL BE WHAT I WANT YOU TO BE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He cackled maniacally. But seriously? This guy was gonna get fucked. He had no power.
"Yeah yeah, Hey Daring Do. You wanna just pummel the guy?"
Daring Do remembered what you said about the two charges. And gave herself a stretch "Yeah, sure, alright. I need a little extra exercise anyway"
"Fools! You think you can stop me? ME?! Allow me to show you what true power is!" He growled as he began to place the horn on his head.
"Yeah yeah, whatever. Geez, you're so predicab-GYAH!" The moment he put on the horn. A blast of magic spread out. Sending you and Daring Do into the wall.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN FEEL IT! THE POWER! THE CHAOS! IT'S MINE!" Ahuizotl cackled ever louder, deeper, more monstrous as he began to grow. His muscles expanding, his teeth curling, his eyes becoming a solid red. He was turning into a monster. Even his hands had changed to claws. "THE WORLD SHALL BE MINE!"
"Anon! W-what's going on?! I thought you said the horn was powerless!" Daring Do was NOT expecting this. Hell, you weren't expecting this!
"IT IS! THE ONLY WAY IT COULD WORK IS.." Then your eyes go wide.
You and Daring Do set out at night
You got the horn later on
It took hours for the teleport to actually get you to your destination
Then there was the time to get the eye
You look around, and find a large grandfather clock on the opposite end of the bookcase.
"MIDNIGHT?! WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!" Daring Do yelled out as both of you were pressed harder into the wall from Ahuizotl's magical might.
"THE HORN ALWAYS RECHARGES AT MIDNIGHT! NO MATTER WHAT! IT HAS POWER AGAIN!"
"WHAT?! HOW DO WE STOP IT THEN?!"
.....You don't know "I-I....I DON'T KNOW!"
"SUCH AMAZING POWER! HAHAHA!" The monstrous Ahuizotl looked towards the both of you with a cruel,sharp toothed grin. And then he pointed at you "Daring Do! I want you to watch this! I want you to see what your fate will be. I want you to experience that for once, you will know doom shall come to you as I turn this foal into my true daughter. And then you...a housecat! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Any last words, foal?"
...only 2 "Fuck you!"
"I KNOW NOT WHAT THAT MEANS! BUT I FEEL IT'S SOMETHING WORTH A SPANKING OVER! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR FREEDOM!" Ahuizotl's hand began to glow. He was going to shoot a transformation ray at you.
"Anon! Anon! Don't give up! It may seem like our final moment! But there's always a way out!" Daring Do yells at you as she struggles to get out of the wall
But you don't say a word. You were about to lose. Lose yourself, your family, your friends......
Your dick....
Ahuizotl finally released his magical energy towards you
But rather than a beam hitting you, there is a magical explosion of light and smoke from Ahuizotl's position.
You and Daring Do fall to the ground now that his chaotic force had extinguished.
You grunt as you fall forward, and then you open your eyes to see if you had hands. At least you'd know how to use them, maybe you could use them to...
Wait....you still had thought...
You still had hooves.
And out of the smoke, the horn came forward, spurting and sputtering magic as it bounced around.
Finally, it landed in front of you as it fizzled out.
...The fuck?
"Anon...you alright?" Daring Do wasted no time in getting up and rushing over to you to make sure you were ok
"..I..think so?" You reach over for the horn and immediately put it around your neck.
"What happened? Was that supposed to happen?" Daring Do peered over at the smoke cloud. She had zero clue as to what was going on.
Fuck, you had no clue. "....I...don't know."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" You could hear evil laughter coming from the smoke.
But it wasn't deep monstrous laughter. It was adorable, girly, sort of squeaky laughter.
when the smoke cleared. A girlified and rather small Ahuizotl with a more feminine body and cute moppy hair stood where his monstrous form was originally standing.
He looked...kinda fuckable...
"VICTORY IS MINE! AND NOW DARING DO......Do....Do?" Ahuizotl reached for his own throat "What is this?! why do I sound like the daughter?!...Wait?!" He looks over to you "Why are you not my daughter?!"
You and Daring Do began to snort with a smirk, then giggle, then laugh at what you were both looking at.
"Laughing?! Why the laughing?! Do you both not realize your own doom?! I did not cast a tickle spell and.....wait..." Ahuizotl spots a mirror, and walks up to it. He peered deeply into it before going wide eyed in fright "WHAT?! I HAVE BECOME THE DAUGHTER! HOW CAN THIS BE?!"
You and Daring Do just exploded in regaled laughter.
"Ahuizotl! you look so precious! Haha! You want to get a dress to match your eyes or something? HAHAHA!" Daring Do couldn't help but mock him
You picked yourself up from the floor and tapped his back, making him turn towards you "H-heyahaha Hey babe! Y'know, I got mad whenever you grabbed me before. But now? You can put your hands on me all you want" You snickered at him
He flew into a rage and jumped on you, he then started strangling you
"EGFGFGHERTER" You cried in a choke
"CHANGE ME BACK! CHANGE ME BACK! CHANGE ME BACK!" Ahuizotl cried as he choked you out.
...This was oddly nostalgic...and very painful.
Daring Do very gently bites onto Ahuizotl's scruff and pulls him off of you before putting him down and giving him a pet "Calm down, Ahzy, no need to get fussy"
"But...But I was so close.....I was so close..I could feel all that power..w-what happened..?What...What.....WAAAAAAAAHHH!" Ahuizotl started to cry, he couldn't handle such a humiliating loss.
"Yeah..." Daring Do helped you up as she asked the question "What DID happen?"
you gave your throat a gentle rub as you gave it some thought.
Actually, your horn had been acting peculiar since Discord started setting up for his tea time with Fluttershy. He was supposed to have that this morning. Probably explained the Mr.Rogers set up."I'm not exactly sure. But the horn hadn't been working right all night. Gonna take a guess that it backfired on Ahuizotl because of a certain issue back home"
"A certain issue?" She asked, curious as to what you meant
"He's getting ready for a tea party"
"That's the issue? Really?"
You shrug "That's the only thing I can think of. Dad doesn't usually have guests over. It may have messed with his..chaos..or something. I dunno. Point is, he picked a good time to do it because we would have been gone otherwise."
"Yeah...Wow.." Daring Do looked at the crying loli dog. "How long is he going to be like that?
You shrug "No idea, but probably not long. Same with this place...It'll all change back eventually"
"Well then, I think we should head back. We got the eye, we beat the bad guys, and had an adventure. There's nothing more to do." Daring Do said.
"I'm with you on that. And I'm...super..tired. Today has been a real trip."
"Alright then, come close so I can pick you up. I'll fly more gently this time since we're not trying to escape with our lives." Daring Do steps close to you and lowers herself so you can ride her.
"W-wait!...you're just going to leave me?" Ahuizotl said with a cute and pitiful expression
"Yep, you can get down on your own" Daring Do said without a care to him.
"B-but...I'm too small to get back down the elevator shaft...p-pwease...pwease don't leave me here" Ahuizotl gives the both of you big soft eyes.
Sad you were taken...the things you could try with those five hands of his...hers...whatever.
Daring Do rolled her eyes and sighed "Fine...get on. You're ok with this, right, Anon?"
"Yeah I guess. But you have to promise to be good, ok?" You say towards Ahuizotl
Ahuizotl nodded as he cheered "Ok! Mhmm! I promise!"
"Good, ok, we're good to go!" You say as you scooch a bit to make room.
And with that, Daring Do flew out through the window and touched down on the ground near the building. She could already see many of the goons had made an exit of their own. She lowers herself to let Ahuizotl off as she looks down at him. "There, you're outside. Safe and sound."
"Oh thank you Daring Do! Thank you!" He curtsies to her. It was cute...it really was
"And remember your promise, ok?" You ask him.
"Oh yes, Mr.Foal, sir! I promise not to do anything bad, or cruel, or mean, or-" As he said this, he suddenly poofed into his old self "insane, or vicious, or world...ending?" Ahuizotl slowly stopped when he heard his old voice. He looked at his hands, then looked at the both of you with a blank expression.
You both stared back.
It was silent for a moment.
"GET THEM! GET THEM NOW!" Ahuizotl pointed at the both of you
"Time to go! Hang on tight, kid!" Daring Do flies off as fast as she can before Ahuizotl's cats or goon squad have any time to realize what's going on.
You could hear in the distance "NEXT TIME, DARING DO! NEXT TIME!"
You eventually reach the camp. Daring Do leans down to let you off.
"Ugh, these clothes" Daring Do rips off her suit, revealing her classic shirt under it. She picks out a small flashlight and turns it on to be able to see in the darkness of the camp. "Alright kid, I'm going to get some sleep. But let me get you some water first so you can go home, how much do you need exactly?"
What? Home...
But...that's it? Not even a goodbye? "That's it?"
"Yeah...huh?" Daring Do looks back over to you, she could see your sad face and your ears drooped. "Oh Anon, c'mon. What's wrong?"
...Maybe you shouldn't have been so sentimental about it. But, you felt this close connection to her. At least, as a rad partner. "..I d-dunno..I just thought there'd be like. A sleepover or something. Or...y'know. A celebration for a job well done that..." You yawn "..That I'm guess I'm too tired for...but still, I thought we were a team"
"Anon, honestly? I never want to team up with you again"
...w-what?
...That actually...really hurt...
You looked to the side as you whimpered..After all that. the humming, the chats, the banter… "...oh....."
Daring Do cringed, it was like she knew she said something wrong. "Anon, that's not what I meant. C'mon..I thought you were more mature than that"
You just sat there silently. You felt pretty hurt over what she said.
Daring Do walked over to you and placed her hoof gently on your head as she gave you a gentler look "Kid..look. What I meant by that is..well. I just don't want you to get hurt. Or anypony really. These aren't games, it isn't meant to be a fun adventure. It is to the readers, yeah, but it's always dangerous..and one day...I might not come back from it. But there's always artifacts to find out there. And It's better for me to find them in case they have the power to end the world, than some dunce like Ahuizotl"
you look up at her, teary eyed. "So..we did have a rad adventure then?"
Daring Do gave out a tired sigh "Yes...we had a ‘rad’ adventure. And yes, if we HAD to team up again, I would without a single complaint. I acknowledge that you are the hero colt. But let's not try to make this a regular thing. Alright, kid?"
"And..and.." You look up at her with a small sad smile, as your ears begin to perk up a little "We're friends, right?"
Daring Do was ridiculously surprised. She didn't expect you to act so childish all of a sudden. "Yeah, we're friends. And...." She sighs, takes her hat back from you, and begins to gently rub her hoof through your mane. It felt very relaxing "If you want to meet up again, and maybe swap some stories and chat or something. There's going to be a con in Las Pegasus in a month or so. I'm guessing you, as the hero colt and the son of chaos, wouldn't have any trouble getting there, right?"
"Totally and....ahhh...I'm going to have to hang out with Rainbow Dash too, aren't I?"
Daring Do shrugged "Sorry kid, can't be too greedy. it's the curse of friendship" She giggled a little "What's your problem with Rainbow Dash anyway?"
oh, she wanted to know? hrn..you wondered what she would think. "She's super arrogant, and thinks she's the best, and all that stuff. I mean, she's not the worst pony. We're friends and all. But you know."
"Y'know, I remember reading a few quotes from the papers about you. One that stuck out is that you can be pretty ‘high and mighty’...Is that true?" She gives you a smirk
....Sweetie Belllleeeee! "...I guess it depends on who you ask...."
She lets out a small laugh "I guess so. Ahh, kid. You're alright. Look, I just want you to go because it'll be safer that way. I got to get up early to get everything packed up before Ahuizotl gets around to hunting me down. And from what I also read, you're not a morning person"
..Wait.....dammit...well… "Shouldn't you go now then? What if he's after you now?"
She shrugs "Dog breath isn't going to make a move when it's this dark. And he's probably still traumatized from all that craziness. It'll be safer for me to move out when there's actual light outside. Even I know not to travel around in the jungle in pitch darkness."
But can you even go home? You could...but with Discord being so weirdly...off. It might be safer to wait as long as you can. At least until the tea party ends. Maybe Fluttershy could figure out what got into him, because with the horn malfunctioning and your room being different. You didn't want to have to sleep in it while things were going loopy.
Also...you kind of wanted to spend a little more time with Daring Do. She had this..aura about her. The last time you went on a super full fledged adventure was with Chrysalis. Daring Do surprisingly was just as endearing as Chrysalis was during dimensional adventure. And if this was going to be the last time you got to hang out with her for a month, you might as well get your time's worth. "Well, my Dad has been acting weird. And with the horn malfunctioning and whatnot. I-I wouldn't mind spending the night with you. I promise to get up when you need me to"
you gave her an adorable pout. "...Seriously? Whoever said you were ‘high and mighty’ was dead wrong. You're like a puppy...a puppy...wait" She narrows her eyes at you "You don't have a crush on me. do you? I mean seriously..do you?"
...n-no
you were all for your s-sweet Diamond Tiara!
....You weren't a degenerate horndog who wouldn't look away if tentacles suddenly sprung up and… "N-no! No! Why would you say that! I am loyal, to my princess! Diamond Tiara!"
......that'll work..right? you were loyal to Diamond Tiara...it's not like you wanted to maybe see how'd she react to a bunch of tentacles...appearing..and..
"Cute...alright. Let's get some sleep then." Daring Do opens up her tent and leads you inside. It was pretty big and roomy. Daring Do went to the side to look for something. "Let's see if we can't make you a makeshift bed..."
You just sit there as she rummages through clothes and such. But all of them, to her, were rough and uncomfortable.
You look at her roll out bed, and point to that. before even realizing what that could mean. "What about that bed?"
"Huh?" Daring Do looked at it for a moment, then at you "You realize we'd have to snuggle really close, right? that only really fits one adult. I'm just asking because I don't want to invade your space or anything like that. I still think I can make you something If I look hard enough"
...Sleep night and snugly?
With Daring Do?
....RD would be soooooo jealous
And she'd probably be sooo warm.
You hide your smile as you walk under the blanket, lay down, and turn around to poke your head out. "I don't mind. I cuddle with my aunt all the time"
..You didn't care how lame that sounded. You...were...going..to..cuddle..with..DARING DO!
Daring Do walked over to you after removing her clothing, finding it a little odd that your demeanor changed so suddenly. "Well..if you don't mind. Just squeeze over to the right for a second so I can fit."
You do so, and you could feel her carefully squeeze herself in. Her body pressing you to the outer edges of the blanket as she zips up the roll out bed.
Holy shit...she was nude.....you were sleeping with NUDE PONY.
Ok..well..all the ponies were nude but..she usually had clothes on!
And she was sooooo warm.
She held you close with her forelegs and closed her eyes. "You alright, Anon? Are you comfortable?"
"..Y-yeah. I mean..yeah."
"Not too tight?"
"No, I'm comfy"
Daring Do couldn't help but smile. It was suddenly like taking care of a nice little foal. Not that she wanted that as a career or anything, but she found it heart warming. "Goodnight, kid. I'll see you in a few hours."
You could feel her cuddle you closer, as if to protect you from the darkness of the night.
You sighed. You started to get those feelings you got when you nearly touched Fluttershy lewdly during your first days in Equestria.
You couldn't even bring yourself to even try touching Daring Do lewdly...not even once
...Dammit "Goodnight, Daring Do...Today was really cool"
She closed her eyes and rested her head gently above yours. "It was..." She says with a soothing sigh, and then yawns "Maybe..mnnn..maybe tomorrow. We'll take a picture together, that way we'll always remember this adventure"
awww...dammit. you couldn't even bring yourself to actively shove that in Rainbow Dash's face.
Though if she ever saw the picture and asked about it on her own, you'd probably do that. "I'd like that...."
"Ok...we'll...do that before you go...mnnn"
You both were drifting off to sleep.
Your mind went out, with the feeling of Daring Do keeping you warm and safe from the jungle just outside the camp.
And so, the night passes into day. "Kid...Hey, Kid...wake up"
You lay there, snoring. "Geez, they weren't kidding about how hard you sleep. Well...Kid, this is more your fault than mine"
You feel a cold liquid suddenly splash into your face, sending you upward in cold shock as you fall back onto the ground, right on your head.
"It's a good thing your head is made of sterner stuff...what a way to wake up. It was just some water"
"...Ughhh..." You slowly open your eyes, then close them as sunlight hits her face. You had to very slowly open your eyes to get used to it.
You could see that Daring Do had mostly everything packed up. Seems she was only going to take the essentials back with her., and leave behind what she considered nonessential.
you look back at her to see her wearing her trademark hat and shirt, and a large pack on her back.
"Is it morning already?" You yawn
"Kid, it's noon. I can't believe how hard you sleep. I accidentally dropped a peg on your face when I was packing up the tent and you still were snoring."
..That explains the slight sting you were suddenly feeling "..Cripes...erm. Well darn, sorry. I would have helped you pack if I woke up sooner. Really...really sorry about that"
Dammit, how could you oversleep? You've seen the episode with Daring Do meeting the Mane 6. And you've seen how she doesn't take too much bullshit first hand, you didn't want to lose her respect.
She just sighs as she adjusts her hat "Relax kid, I'm used to this. I was just surprised, that's all. In any case, I have to get going. So let's make this quick."
..wut? "Make what quick?"
She points to a barrel with a camera set up. With a line attached to it that was connected to a button.
"Oh yeah!" The picture!
Daring Do went and sat where she thought was the perfect spot to take the picture. You walked up to her side and looked at the camera. "Is this good?"
"I'm not too good at this whole group shot thing. But I've taken enough pictures on artifacts to know that certain details are important to a picture. And there...is one thing missing from all this"
"What is it?"
She takes her hat off, and plants it right on your head. "There we go. Now it's perfect"
Her hat? Aww...
Now you wanted Daring Do to stick around Ponyville. Fuck, going on another adventure with her would be fucking rad.
heh, something you sure you could "accidently" set up.
"Alright, now look at the camera, smile, and say....hmmmm...Adventure!" She tells you
"Got it!"
"alright, on 1....3.....2....1! ADVENTURE!" You both cry out
and the snapshot is taken
After that, Daring Do informs you that she'd mail the picture to you later after she gets it developed.
She takes her hat back, packs up the camera, and gives you a gentle little hug. "Anon, you're a good kid. Brave, stron-....Smart. and I guess you're pretty fun to be around...for a kid."
you just tell her in an arrogant tone "Yeah, I guess you're ok too. I mean, if my horn was working. I would have been able to do this all on my own"
Daring Do chuckled at that "Really now? So you're saying that you could solve any situation and win any fight with that thing? No matter what?"
You nod "Yeah, it's all poweNGH!"
Daring Do flips you on your back and presses her hoof on the horn itself. "Quick Scenario before I go. Ahuizotl has his hand pressed on your chest and your horn. You can't reach it, he can crush you...or probably just tie you up like he usually does. What do you do?"
D-dammit "This isn't fair!"
"Life isn't fair, kid" She smirks back at you
"Well...I'd...do something like...THIS!"
You try rubbing your hooves on her leg to tickle her. But she doesn't even flinch
"Yeah, nice try." She removes her hoof from your chest , still smirking "Gotta work on that, Anon. You're not definitely not invincible."
Ugh… "..Yeah yeah..."
"Heh, well. See you around, Anon." Daring Do bucks the barrel she had sat her camera on, knocking it open and spilling water everywhere.
you could feel the cool water flow along your sides as you get up and dust yourself off. "Seeya around, Daring Do. Oh, is this going to be a book by any chance?"
"Kid, I don't think anypony could handle temples turning into office buildings, a ghost trick, or the fact I teamed up with the hero colt himself. Trust me, I know the fans would wreck the convention for everypony else just due to that."
You definitely understood that..fucking ponyfags. "Gotcha"
And with that, Daring Do gave one last goodbye before taking off.
You yourself? You used your map to return home through the large puddle.
When you arrived. You had noticed everything had returned to normal.......normal by your standards.
you were happy to see the floor door.
And you could hear talking and giggling. Even singing.
You went over, and slowly opened the door.
You could see Discord and Fluttershy…..on the ceiling of the Living Room, having tea while everything was being a little too weird.
Ok then…
You just slowly close your door, and let them have at it.