Is This It

by PapierSam

First published

Rarity and Rainbow Dash embark on many byzantine heists. Keywords: suspension of disbelief, context, and dramatic crackfic.

Rarity and Rainbow Dash embark on many byzantine heists – where it takes two to live with the dire straits of mediocre life and still keep it together.

Keywords: suspension of disbelief, context (or lack thereof), and dramatic crackfic.


Chicken scratch Cover image by me. A 1000-word pictorial representation of what you can expect herein.

Chapter 1: Lies on the Seaside

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“I just don’t see why you can’t walk in there like you’re Rarity herself, in the flesh.”

Because he can’t know it’s me, Rainbow Dash.”

“Nnnneh,” Rainbow Dash grumbled, spinning around again in Rarity’s comfortable office chair. “Why can’t you just make this simple?”

“This is simple! The only tricky part is getting the timing perfect on sneaking past the camera-sweeping security,” Rarity explained with a casual wave of her hands—this was rudimentary levels of breaking and entering. “But as soon as I get past the motion-sensor laser system, I’ll send the smoke signal and it’ll be easy as bullion stitching!”

Rainbow Dash continued spinning, following the swirling patterns on the ceiling. “But…I’m tired.”

Rarity grabbed the chair by the arms and looked at Rainbow imploringly once the recoil passed. “Rainbow Dash, please. I have to do this, I can’t do it alone, and more than any of that, I can’t do it without you.”

With a skewed frown but little resistance to Rarity’s pleas and veiled compliments—everything sounded like a personal compliment when said to Rainbow Dash—she gave in. “Fiiine. But you’re gonna have to explain to Fluttershy why I can’t make our sleepover again this week.”

“Yes!” Rarity cheered, very literally and lad-ily jumping for joy. Then, coming back down, she added, “Again?”

“Yeah.” Rainbow shrugged. “I’ve missed the past few weeks.”

“It’s not quite weekly, then, darling.”

“I was tired.”

“Fair enough.”


Rarity liked to see her life through the lens of a teenage drama series—light-hearted, sometimes petty, and surprisingly good at handling darker topics.

“Rainbow Dash is going to miss another sleepover?”

“I’m sure you two would’ve had a gem of a time.”

Light-hearted.

“And she’s not going to tell me why because she’s mad at me and not talking to me?”

“She says you should taste the silent treatment for once.”

Sometimes petty.

“But you think she’s handling a deep-rooted energy drink addiction caused by the traumatising divorce of her parents, which she attributes to her own failure at meeting their expectations?”

“You can see it in the little moments she has.”

And surprisingly good at handling darker topics.

“But…” Fluttershy said after she had a moment to swallow it. “Not that I’m doubting you, but repeating it out loud…doesn’t something sound wrong with that?”

For a moment, Rarity suffered real-life lag, blinking at Fluttershy with a steady expression. “Why, whatever do you mean?”

Perhaps a teenage drama didn’t quite see its own flaws, though.

“Because that sounds a lot like the reason she gave me for missing last week’s sleepover.”

“O-oh! Well…” Rarity tittered a bit to hide her stutter. “It’s a, erm, recurring issue, see? Addiction is a lifelong battle.”

Fluttershy nodded slowly. “Yeah, but last week it was soda pop.”

“…She feels she really failed her parents’ happiness,” Rarity said, and hoped it was only to her own ears that she spoke with the same confidence as an old cat lady did about her independence.

Fluttershy seemed skeptical, if a little hesitant to say, “It’s just…something just doesn’t add up.”

Rarity could hear the casual background music slowly fade out. The next few words they would share would be emphasised, focused on.

“If there’s something she’s hiding from me…I’d like to know.”

Rarity looked Fluttershy dead in the eye, and waited for the words to sink and silence. A beat, two, and then:

“You know she would tell you everything," Rarity said soothingly. "And this is it: the truth.”

The tiny shifts in Fluttershy’s posture and the usually muted background sounds seemed to echo. The suspense—plentiful and paltry in such a production—hung between them.

With a small smile, Fluttershy said, “I know. I just wish she wouldn’t try to be so strong on her own about it.”

Rarity hummed in agreement.

“Could you just let her know that I’m always here for her? If she ever needs anyone to listen.”

“Of course, dear.”

“Thank you.”

And as Rarity watched Fluttershy depart down the hallway and head towards her class, she felt the camera hang on her falling expression.

“But if I lie about lying, then I’m telling the truth.”

A bell echoed as the screen went black.


She dubbed the plan Mona Lisa Lies.

Rainbow Dash thought it sounded impressively poetic. And super cool.

But then again, the way Rainbow Dash thought made the world very different than the way she acted she thought.

“Hey, I heard you were giving Fluttershy the silent treatment,” Soarin added, off-handed.

“Really? Man, I wish I knew earlier,” Rainbow Dash said. “I wouldn’t have asked her for lunch money today.”

“It could’ve just been a rumor. Those spread like the plague.”

She snorted in agreement, then continued. “You think she heard it too? 'Cause when I asked for money, she said, ‘Of course. You can ask me anything, you know?’.”

“Man, I dunno,” Soarin said as he stretched. “People need to be simpler. Like you.”

“Heck yeah.” And, as her ever-racing thoughts fought for the number one spot in her head, she said, “Hey, you think Mona Lisa Lies is a cool name?”

After a thoughtful click of his tongue, Soarin said, “Yeah, it’s got a ring to it. Kinda mysterious. What’s it for?”

“It’s a mystery.”

“Ha-ha.”

Rainbow Dash smiled; talking to Soarin was always nice, mostly because he knew how to listen. For her, there was always too much to listen to at once: all the other thoughts in her head, and all the other people’s thoughts – it made it tough to focus on just one at a time. And if she couldn’t do it well, it had to be an achievement beyond accomplishments.

But she could focus if she had to, and tonight, Mona Lisa Lies required her full fifteen-percent attention span.


“Man, what would you do without me?” Rainbow Dash said, smirking at Rarity.

“Yes yes, you were a hero in sneakers,” Rarity relented with the tiniest of smiles – now in Full Action Mode, her mind was buzzing busily with the task at hand.

“But like, did you see the way I just zshooped zhan bamed over the lasers?” Rainbow enhanced her story with intricate hand waving. “I was like, James Bond and Michael Jackson at the same time.”

“The electric guitar solo in the background really set the energy of the scene.”

With a sigh, Rainbow said, “Yeah. We should break into millionaire yacht parties more often. Corporate offices just don’t call for this kind of awesomeness.”

“Wherever we’re needed, darling,” Rarity said, distracted. She only realised she added, "It's all for Sweetie Belle, after all," when Rainbow Dash landed a firm hand on her shoulder and hummed warmly.

The two were quickly reaching a door at the end of the low-lit hallways of the ship. Rarity adjusted her Vaudevillian-style mask, its sleek black a stark contrast to her porcelain skin, and a shadow to her icy blue eyes. “Shall we?”

“Oh, right, business time,” Rainbow said with little investment. She too wore a mask, but hers a template one to match her waiter’s suit. With a lazy wave of her arms, she ushered Rarity ahead. “After you, m’lady.”

And as she opened the door, an orchestra began its Chopin-inspired ballad. Violins and violas sprang to life like the lights blinking in the gold of the chandeliers. Cellos hummed low, beside the small details in the curtain accents and tableware. Flutes spoke like the practiced laughter, the calculated dialogue.

The drum and the thump of footfalls; the harp and the clinking wine glasses; the chamber choir and the rich perfumes; the piano—the piano—and the glitter in the air. It all made the expensive textures and colours stand out in the elegance of the ballroom, an expression of aristocratic art.

It was truly a loss to the world that could only hear the small consort’s rehearsal, who could—by no loss to their merit—never recreate the masterpiece that sang in Rarity’s head.

Truly, all media had moments of gold that made it worth bragging about.

And Rarity was about to walk into the season finale’s second part.

“Show time, darling.”


It was hard for Rarity not get lost in the melody of the dance when it took her back to the easy happiness of rhythmic sewing patterns. Even harder not get lost in was Soarin’s focused green eyes.

Well, she wasn’t quite allowed to know his name, but a mask wasn’t enough to keep her from recognising the young man she had never met. And her identity to him was as secret as her motives, as mysterious as her air.

She had approached him like the evening breeze in summer: natural and pleasant, greeted with a tired smile of a stranger awake and lost. A veiled compliment, a reply that saw the purpose. From there, it was a dance of words that beckoned a dance of people. A delicate, expressive pattern of two red threads weaving together.

And the seamstress conducted it like a symphony.

“You look distracted,” Soarin said.

“I am,” Rarity replied, as much with her words as her dancing.

“Well, until the dance is over, I have no choice but to listen to you.”

Rarity hummed laughter. “Aren’t you unlucky.”

“I’d think all my luck went into getting this dance with you.”

An opportunity. “Isn’t that just it, though?”

“Hmm?” Soarin prompted.

“Our chance encounter, is it not but Destiny that could bring us together like this?”

He snorted, as if the irony was almost overplayed. “She would tear us apart.”

“Is there one of us she wants?”

“It’s what we have that she wants.”

“Love?”

That gave Soarin a pause. Then, with truly amused laughter: “Ah, don’t we all? But nay, she wants our fortune.”

And though she risked taking the wrong path out of the ones presented to her, she chose the least beneficial and most alluring. “Which is still the same: love.”

“Quite the dreamer, aren’t you?”

But was he caught in her dream, or seeing it with waken eyes? “Perhaps. But what would she want a fortune of measure for? Has she not her own?”

“She does, but her and her family and those in her interest want more, always more.”

“Greed is one seventh of our descent to Hell,” Rarity said, and part of her noted that hypocrisy had a bitter taste.

“Ah, isn’t that a way to see things?”

“Hmm?”

“No one here is quite dressed like they plan to go to Hell.” He paused, as if to replay what he just said in his mind. “I seemed to have taken the conversation somewhere else completely.”

“I think not. I think death and Hell is the only thing this party really celebrates.”

“Pray tell?”

“The masks hiding true emotions, the gathering of not friends, but those who were invited. Steps careful and philosophies not agreeing.” Rarity lifted her gaze. “This isn’t a masquerade, darling: it’s a funeral procession.”

He hummed—impressed and agreeing but in thought mostly, because something in her comment caught his attention—as the song ended. They bowed, and for a moment, they were equally vulnerable.

But as they rose, the light caught in Rarity’s eyes, reflected in its ice, and he was lost in the dream they dreamt.

A beat, two.

They awoke to the sound of a gunshot.


Rainbow Dash made it narrowly, sliding under the table to catch the rolling ring as they both succumbed to the gravity of a sinking ship.

“I better get paid overtime for this!” she shouted to no one as she rolled sideways to avoid crashing cutlery. “And I better not lose it to dry cleaning this suit.”

Clumsily, Rainbow managed to struggle to the edge of the ballroom and latched on to a curtain, swinging herself up enough to grab hold of the window ledge.

After adjusting her grip and securing the ring on her finger, Rainbow searched the panicked ballroom for the prettiest girl; in her opinion, everyone else was just flaunting what money could buy, but Rarity made her beauty with her own two hands and tons of make-up and fabric and time—not that Dash would ever say that out loud, and Rarity's huge ego didn't need to hear it anyway.

It wasn’t quite as easy as she had hoped, though; many people were still struggling to gain some control over where the ship tossed them, as it stood—she was proud to know, math could suck it—at an acute angle with the water.

Masks were thrown away, and hair was falling loose from its intricate patters, but that made it easier—Rarity would be the most stubbornly prim and proper to the very end, and this looked like Armageddon.

CATCH ME, YOU IDIOT!

Upon instinct and before she knew what was happening, Rainbow Dash grabbed a screaming, kicking Rarity as she nearly skated past her. With a wry smile, she helped Rarity take hold of the ledge.

“Eh, you seem a bit upset. Is it because of the whole drowning ship thing?”

“Like hell is it ‘because of the whole drowning ship thing’!” Rarity screamed, in part out of necessity of being heard and in two parts out of being upset ‘because of the whole drowning ship thing’.

Rainbow shrugged as best she could in her position. “I’m sorry, okay? I got distracted, and they almost saw me, and I had to create a diversion.”

“Oh, that puts things into context.” Rarity’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. “I hope putting the lives of the most elite business people in the world and their loved ones was distraction ENOUGH!

“Hey hey, I think we should focus on saving ourselves. We can make me feel bad later.”

With that, Rainbow Dash kicked the latch and pulled the window open. Helping Rarity through first, she gave the chaotic ballroom one last look before jumping out.

It wasn’t as bad as the inside of her head, she thought with a laugh.


With a spinning kick and a, “Take that, you ruffian!”, Rarity sent the last thug overboard.

“I feel kind of bad,” Rainbow said as they resumed their mad dash to the escape boat. “Drowning to death is one thing, but being kicked in the face with heels probably hurts a lot more.”

“In your words, ‘I think we should focus on saving ourselves. We can make me feel bad later.’”

“Right.”

The music was fast, dramatic, and exhilarating: a rapid drumbeat that seemed to speed up and force Rarity to fall to its pace. She now wore the ring on her finger and, just behind her partner in crime, saw the final setting for their scene.

With a battle cry, Rainbow leapt over the ledge and onto the small rowboat, submerging it unsteadily with her force. As she gained her balance, she spun around and threw her hand out.

“Rarity!”

Rarity came to a dead stop—which meant quite the obligation, given her heels, her momentum, and the wet and slanted deck of the boat, but she direly could not move a centimeter.

She watched Rainbow’s pleading expression, but the camera’s focus was on the man behind her.

“Is this how you want the dream to end?”

She snapped her head towards him. Of course he was even more handsome when he was slightly disheveled, hair falling into his glowing green eyes that cut through the night. There was a calm that followed him: the music halted, the panic silent, and just a gentle evening breeze between them.

“I never wanted it to end. I just had to make a better reality.”

He sighed, looking much older and much sadder than he had only an hour ago. “Then…I must thank you. I don’t sleep much, dream even less –”

She didn’t have much time, but then she didn’t have much resolve left either. “I never wanted it to be this way –”

“– but I think I liked what I saw.” He breathed in, gave a sidelong glance to the infinitely stretching sea and sky. There were no stars out tonight. “I just might choose to dream forever.”

It seemed all of Rarity’s grace in wordplay had escaped her. “Soarin.”

He looked back at her. She saw two stars now. “The ring looks like it was made for you.”

Absent-mindedly, Rarity touched the ring. She wanted to stay in the moment, at least until she could speak the words that needed to be heard. The ice in her eyes was beginning to melt, and without her mask, the mist would streak her face black.

She watched herself get wrenched out of the scene as if she was long overdue to leave. She felt the buoyancy of the boat, heard the shouts of her companion, but saw only a lone man on a sinking ship become smaller and smaller.

She watched until it was gone, and then sometime after.

There were no stars out tonight.


“You alright?”

“How can I not be? We secured the ring, saved what had to be saved, all according to plan.”

“Except for the sinking ship.”

“What had to be done was done.”

“I guess you could say the plan went ‘swimmingly’, then?”

Rarity finally looked at Rainbow Dash. Her partner in crime was glistening in sweat and ocean water, but she rowed the boat forward with stalwart determination and a self-assured grin.

She sighed, but smiled all the same.

“You alright?” Rainbow asked again.

“I will be,” Rarity replied.

A beat, then Rainbow groaned loudly, annoyed. “You always do this with every pretty boy. It’s like, no mission goes by without scenes like this.”

Rarity didn’t miss a beat; she could feel bad about it later. “It makes it all the more interesting. Besides, you know Sweetie loves a good romance.”

“We’re not prom queens, we're antiheroes!” Rainbow countered. “We do morally questionable things to protect what is objectionably right.”

“Like sinking an expensive yacht to steal a ring?”

“Like sinking an expensive yacht to steal a ring!”

And they shared a laugh under an empty sky until it was swallowed greedily.

Then, offhandedly, Rarity asked, “Do you think we’ll make it in time for school?”

“I dunno,” Rainbow said, just as conversationally. “I still have to make up an excuse for why I didn’t do that assignment Cheerilee gave us.”

“Would you like some help?”

“Mmm…nah. I’ll just tell them everything we did tonight, and she’ll probably write it off as my wild imagination again.”

“I suppose.”

“But I do need help thinking of an excuse for missing Fluttershy’s weekly sleepover again.”

“Infrequent sleepover, darling. And why?”

Rainbow’s eyes glinted with determination and arrogance. “Well, we’ve got to sell the ring without getting caught now. And there’s no one else you could turn to help but me, right?”

Rarity smiled a porcelain smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”


Fluttershy nodded slowly. “Yeah, but last week it was energy drinks.”

“…She’s so far gone, the poor dear.”

With a sigh and a knowing smile, Fluttershy relented: “I just wish she would come to me. I want to be there for her.”

“I’ll pass the sentiment on to her.”

“Please do.”

With a nod and a wave, Rarity and Fluttershy parted ways, the former giving her goodbye in the form of Calculus-related complaints.

The latter, however, came to a slow stop. She turned just as cautiously, and watched Rarity until her back disappeared behind a corner.

Fluttershy then looked at the glinting ring in the palm of her hand.

“But if I steal what has been stolen, I have still the sin of stealing.”


Chapter 2: After Everything

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In the last chapter: Rarity and Rainbow Dash sink a yacht in favour of an emotional rowboat outing, and Fluttershy steps on stage.

In this chapter: Rarity loses it, Fluttershy finds it, and Rainbow Dash finds out.


Rainbow Dash hated weddings.

So reasonably, she was bitter at the idea that she was spending her Saturday evening breaking into one.

This was totally all Rarity’s fault.


This is all your fault, Rainbow Dash!

“Well,” came the dry reply. “I feel like blaming other people only causes problems.”

Rarity shifted back slightly, eyeing Rainbow Dash pointedly. “Well, when you’re this at fault, one simply has no choice but to blame you!”

Or we could, like, not?” Rainbow offered sheepishly. She then threw her hands up in the air. “Look, I messed up big time, I’m sorry. I’ll fix things if you tell me how.”

Rarity leaned back and sipped of her tea. The two were seated at a small table that sat on the roof of Sugarcube Corner, soaking in the last of the moonlight as dawn approached. Rarity quite liked the setting: she felt the tea, still steaming in the refreshingly chilly air, absorbed a particularly pleasing sweetness, there and then. It balanced out well with the aftertaste of a well executed tea hijacking.

It was an acquired taste, truly.

“I think I might have an idea,” Rarity finally said after the flavour set in. “But you’d have to do it yourself; I’m due elsewhere this weekend.”

“Where?”

“Do you remember that CEO son of that make-up company I told you about a while back?”

“Umm…” Rainbow made a thinking face; bless her soul for actually trying to remember all the boys Rarity talked about. “The one with the nice accent or the trinity knot tie?”

“The trinity knot—a dedication to that ilk shan’t go unnoticed! Well, I found out that he funds an underground gold business. Not quite illegal, but certainly not mentioned in the income taxes.”

“I’m still amazed at how you find these things out.”

Rarity brought the cup to her lips, but let it sit on her smile, looking all the more certain of herself. “Ah, I have a way with words. And breaking into bank accounts.”

Rainbow snorted a laugh.

“Anyway, I got into contact with him again, and he’s interested in the ring. I may just be able to rid our hands of it by Monday, and make us marginally more qualified to join yacht parties in a legal clear.”

“Technically, we got the ring through illegal means. Pretty sure that pans out.”

Marginally, dearest.”

“Well, when you put it that way.” Rainbow shrugged, satisfied enough. “I was starting to think we’d have to melt it to sell it and lose all that ten percent design value.”

“Ah-ah. You know me better than that.”

“Right.” Rainbow grinned. “That’s why you’re the talker, and I’m the action guy.”

“Precisely,” Rarity said with her own smile. “Which is exactly why I need your full cooperation for this weekend's plan.” She finished her tea with one more timely, dainty sip. “I’ll send the blueprints through sheet music at tomorrow’s band practice.”

Rainbow tipped her cup sharply and gulped down the last of her tea. “Right. Don’t worry, I won’t give up until I get your pen back.”

“Thank you.”

They stood up in sync and surveyed the sky as it began to slowly brighten.

“I’ll put this away,” Rainbow said after a moment, pointing at their table. “You go home and get your makeup done. Can’t rush your perfect three hour routine, eh?”

Rarity rolled her eyes, but smiled all the same. She waved goodbye, then scaled down the building with practiced grace. Though she wanted to enjoy a blasé walk home, they had spent a bit longer than usual on the roof and Rainbow Dash was more or less correct with her comment.

The thought of Rainbow triggering the alarm while putting the cups back in the café in a rush crossed her mind briefly, but she brushed it off quickly: Rainbow may be forgetful, but she was top notch at breaking and entering.


Rainbow Dash heard the alarm grow louder in the distance.

Breaking and entering just wasn’t her forte.

Well, it usually was, but Rainbow Dash had rushed because waiting was boring and she had typed in the wrong passcode because she was too tired to focus.

She heard faint static following up behind her; the security was catching up to her. With a grimace, Rainbow switched gears. She hadn’t wanted to, but she couldn’t escape with Rarity's pen without causing some distraction, and she was only good at causing huge, ship-sinking levels of distractions when pushed this desperate.

Rarity wouldn’t be happy, though.


“Oh, I’m so relieved you got my pen back!”

Well.

To be fair, it wasn’t sinking the ship: it was only forcing it to make an emergency docking. It still put everyone on board in danger and, better yet – or worse, depends on who’s asking – sending them into a panic.

In any case, Rarity didn’t have to know all the details.

“That’s good. I’m sorry I almost lost it.”

Rarity laughed, and Rainbow could imagine her on the other end of the line, waving a hand dismissively. “Oh, all’s well that ends well. I’m just happy to have it back from that foul Roseluck.” She practically spat the name.

Rainbow let go of one of the oars to adjust the Bluetooth in her ear. “I don’t think she meant to steal it. I let her borrow a pen from my pencil case and she must’ve liked yours. She prob’ly forgot to return it, that’s all.”

Rarity scoffed, taken aback. “Forgot? Oh no, darling, she knew the pen was valuable when she saw it. It just radiates that Paris-original crafted aura!”

“I dunno…”

“Even if! It’s bad manners to never return things one borrows. Such people are the worst part of school, on par with Calculus class.”

Rainbow shrugged, and winced at how sore her shoulders had become. “I just think it would have been easier to ask her for it back instead of grabbing it out of her makeup bag during a wedding –”

Because she stole it and had no intention of returning it!”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and mentally threw her hands up in the air – which she often did physically in response to Rarity, when her arms weren’t busy paddling her to civilisation. “I don’t get why popular girls can’t just use regular pencil cases! She wouldn’t need any of your pens if all hers weren’t for her eyes.”

“Precisely!” Rarity affirmed. Then, with a sigh, she added, “I truly hope I didn’t put you through too much trouble.”

“Nah, I wanted to go out this weekend anyways,” Rainbow said. “I had fun.”

“Thank you all the same.”

“No prob. So what’s up with you?”

Rarity let out a long breath. “Simply waiting to see the appraiser.”

“Cool. Did trinity-tie guy see the ring?”

“You never start out with the pièce de résistance, you know that.”

“I forgot.”

Rainbow heard Rarity smile—well, that sounded wrong, but that was the best way Rainbow could describe the faint, brief exhale Rarity made. It was familiar to Rainbow Dash, like the rhythm of rowing, and she knew Rarity was smiling that sharp-curved smile that made little corner-wrinkles on her face.

It came as a sort of breather to Rainbow – one she didn’t realise she appreciated.

“Regardless, it really is worth the wait, the way it glitters in the low light. And it looks so nice on me.” The sharp turn in tone from self-praising to quiet reminiscence didn’t go unnoticed to Rainbow.

“Hey,” she began, but Rarity cut in, her voice sterile.

“Rainbow Dash? Do you remember the ring glittering in the low light on Friday, during tea time?”

“No,” Rainbow said simply. She just didn’t notice these things like Rarity did.

“Ah. Well, I don’t see it now either,” she replied, voice just barely quivering.

Rainbow made a face, even if Rarity couldn’t see it. “Dude, what’s that even mean?”

“I don’t see the ring, Rainbow Dash.”

“Then turn on the lights or something, I dunno.” Given she was currently rowboating her way through the ocean, Rainbow really didn’t have much energy to decode Rarity's wordplay—not that she usually had much notable energy, but still.

Suddenly, Rarity answered with a slight crack of desperation in her voice. “I don’t see the ring because I don’t have it, Rainbow Dash.”

A beat, two.

Rainbow Dash stopped rowing. Rarity wasn’t joking.

Sh– ”


“ –it was right there the whole time, I’m certain!”

“Then when could it have gone missing?”

“I have no idea!” Rarity paced the room, running her fingers over her hair frantically. “But one doesn’t simply not notice their diamond engagement ring is gone!”

“Is it ours if we stole it?” Rainbow asked suddenly, skeptically, putting aside the trouble at hand for a moment.

Rarity wouldn’t have it. “MORALLY QUESTIONABLE, DARLING!” she seethed. But watching Rainbow flinch made her pause to gain her composure. “Sorry, I’m just stressed.”

“Hey, I understand. We just lost a very valuable and very stolen item. I’m stressed too.”

Rarity resumed her pacing. “What’s more is that, if someone finds it, they may trace it back to us. DNA samples, reverse tracking. They could follow the steps and link us to all our exploits.”

Breathing hastened, Rarity doubled her pacing speed. She started to resemble an overheating coal-engine. “In fact, what if they manage to trace it all the way back to our beginnings? What if the find out everything? WHAT DO WE DO THEN?!”

Rainbow grabbed Rarity’s shoulders firmly before she could crash. “Rarity, chill!” She stared back at her wide-eyed, so Rainbow continued. “Listen, it’s not gonna come to that. We’ve—you’ve—covered our tracks crazy well. 'Sides, even if worse comes to worst, we’ll make it through.” She grinned. “We always do.”

Rarity exhaled steadily, then mustered a small smile. “I can’t believe you expect me to be calmed by just that.”

“I can’t do much else, can I?”

“You can find the ring.”

Rainbow threw her hands up. “That again?”

“It’s somewhat of a big deal, dear.”

Rainbow Dash huffed and crossed her arms. “Well then, do what you do best and start being clever.”

“Since you asked so nicely…” Rarity sat on the edge of her bed, pulling her legs up and sitting cross legged. Rainbow Dash took her usual spot in Rarity’s office chair.

Closing her eyes, Rarity organised her thoughts, and heard the thinking music fade in. She began: “Firstly, the ring is missing.”

“Which sucks, because of reasons you already panicked over.”

“Quite. Secondly, we have no idea when the ring went missing, which is key information.”

Rainbow Dash spun around slowly. “You have no idea at all when or where you could’ve lost it? Did you ever take it off?”

“No, it was safest on my finger, which proved to not be safe enough,” she finished a tad sourly.

“Are we gonna consider ‘stolen’ a possibility?”

Rarity chewed on that for a moment. “What motive would anyone have to steal it?”

“You mean ‘what locomotive’?”

Rarity blinked. “Pardon?”

Quick as herself, Rainbow switched tracks. “Their motive: same as ours, maybe?”

“I hardly think anyone reasons the reasons we do, darling,” Rarity said, humoured.

“Then, someone prob’ly just thought it was pretty and snatched it.”

“I would have noticed immediately. It’s a heavy ring.”

“But what if…” Rainbow looked hesitatant for a moment, as if she really didn’t want to dismiss the possibility quite yet. “What if they were just really good pick pocketing and you were really distracted?”

“You seem very adamant on it being stolen.”

“Well, that’s most likely, right? And, I know ‘likely’ isn’t in our vocab, but –” Rainbow shrugged, as if it finished the sentence for her.

“If you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras...” Rarity started carefully, tucking a lock of hair behind her hair: her thinking quirk. “Then on that tangent, the culprit likely planned this, and planned better than us.”

Rainbow whirled around again. “So you think someone in specific is out to catch us?”

“It scares me to say it.” Lifting her head, Rarity pushed her hair back again. “I wish I could tell you it’s just a silly mistake on our end, but that’s quite improbable.”

“I did lose your pen,” Rainbow pointed out.

Rarity shook her head and replied with the sort of casual tone that dismissed any distrust. “That’s different; I know your work reliability.”

Maybe she was wrong, but Rarity was sure Rainbow spun faster this time. “I bet Twilight would’ve thought to put a GPS system on the ring or something.”

“Hey –”

“I’m just sayin’.”

But saying it at all brought them back to an unspoken concern, even if only Rarity noticed it. “Yes, well, I’m just saying that I’m glad fate brought you on this path with me.”

Rainbow stopped spinning, looking a little sick. “That was so cheesy.”

“It’s how I roll, you know.”

“I can’t believe you expect me to be floored by your lame one-liners.”

“Not much else I can do, hun.” Rarity shrugged, smiled, and when Rainbow smiled back, she decided to drop the issue—it would come back again, no doubt, but Rainbow seemed to be done with the subject; she only had so long an attention span.

Besides, one problem at a time. “As for the ring.”

Rainbow propped her elbow on her leg and leaned her head on it. “What’s the plan, Leader?”

“We cease and desist.”

“And?”

Firmly as she could, Rarity said, “And we both go back to a normal pretense, while I firstly separate us from any and all evidence.”

Rainbow nodded, almost solemnly. Then, in just as grim a voice, “And then..?”

It was selfish, Rarity knew, to find solace in Rainbow’s worry. Still, it was strengthening to know that, with all that happened thus far, they were both happily attached to their heisting business.

“Then I plan, and we reconvene after we know we’re safe.”

“Good,” Rainbow said, relieved, then leaned back lazily. Rarity almost made a comment on posture when she continued, “Are you sure that’s cool, though? I hate it when we make Sweetie Belle wait.”

Oh. Oh.

Rarity felt so bad it made her smile. The sort of guilty, cant-do-much-else smile. Guilty that, for all this, Rarity still believed that Rainbow Dash was mostly taking part for the thrill of it; that, after everything, Rainbow still put Rarity’s objectives first.

She really needed to give the girl more credit.

But she couldn’t let Dash hear that – Heaven knows whatever barely contained her ego would explode from it. “Oh, we’ll just pay her a personal visit to make up for it.”

“Ugh, but it’s so far and stuff,” Rainbow groaned in the same tone she did before giving into one of Rarity’s ludicrous demands. “'Sides, I hate downtown parking. They charge too much.”

“Oh, Mother told me the parking gate at one of the hospital’s lots is broken, so I suppose we could use that to our advantage. Not one of our biggest endeavors,” Rarity added with a wry smile, “but still.”

Rainbow Dash replied with a smile of her own. “Speaking of. You sure you wanna take a break? This is all about –”

“It’s not ‘all about’ one thing anymore,” Rarity said, reaching over to poke Rainbow in the shoulder, who winced. “Especially right now: right now, it’s about our safety, and our future. I’m –”

“If you say ‘sorry for dragging you into this, darling’, I’m so gonna puke.”

“I would blame that on the spinning or the seasickness. I would then tear you a new one for ruining my carpet.”

Rainbow reached forward and lightly fist-bumped Rarity’s shoulder. “We’re in this together, and I think it’s awesome that way. Cool?”

Rarity pursed her lips. “Only if you know that I meant what I said before: I wouldn’t want to have dragged anyone else into this but you.”

“Yeah, sure, deal. Now that we’re cool –” Rainbow stood up, stretched, then looked around the room with disdain. “Man, your room is so lame. Why am I even here?”

Rarity would miss their camaraderie, but she didn’t miss a beat. “Chemistry assignment, dear. Now let’s get this over with so I can head to the mall with Fluttershy.” She held her outspread hand in front of her, lifting her nose up with uppity. “We’re getting our nails done.”

“Gag.”

“Not on my floor YOU DON’T!


The jazzy montage music opened in full swing.

Rarity laughed—a joyful giggle that was background noise to the music—and lifted the delicate glass to her lips. The sunlight danced in the drink as if it were crystal.

From there, Rarity felt the world move in quick succession of picture perfect moments of her with her friends: walking down a bustling mall with Applejack carrying most of the shopping bags; sitting at an old-fashioned restaurant and sharing a meal with Fluttershy; badly hiding behind a tree, watching Twilight awkwardly attempt to communicate with the less-intelligent lacrosse team captain.

Through it all, the sun and the colours shone bright and beautiful.

For mid-October, it was very summer-ish.

As the second and final crescendo rushed in, Rarity pulled the glass away, idly stirring the shimmering drink and looking into the distance behind aviator sunglasses. She caught Rainbow Dash’s eye, who gave a quicksilver grin before spin kicking on her skateboard and vaulting right into the sparkling pool water.

Rarity breathed a laugh—genuine, relaxed, melodic—and placed her glass on the table with a musical cling.

A light lipstick stain decorated the glass’ rim.


Fluttershy really needed nicer lipstick.

Instead, she hugged her throw pillow closer to her. “I need you to be more punctual.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes as she rolled over on her back. “You suck the fun out of Truth or Dare, y’know that?”

“I know.”

“Uuuugh,” Rainbow groaned, squinting at Fluttershy. But, being upside-down, it didn’t do much else than make Fluttershy laugh. “Also, you’re drunk on juice. How did you do that?”

“I’m not –” she paused, and though no one else was home, she dropped her voice to a whisper—which, from Fluttershy, was as loud as still air. “I’m not drunk!”

“You’re giggling.”

“You’re funny!”

Uuuugh, again.” Lifting her empty glass up, she added, “Can’t we have something harder? Soda pop or somethin’?”

It took a bit of mental steadying, but Fluttershy managed a casual, “Too much is bad for your health, Dash.”

“I’d rather die young and happy than old and miserable.”

Fluttershy giggled again—maybe she was drunk on juice—and switched topics quick. “It’s my turn, right? So: truth or dare?”

A spark jumped in Rainbow’s eyes. “Dare.”

“I dare you to –”

“I swear if it’s ‘come to next week’s sleepover’, I’m gonna throw that pillow at you.”

Fluttershy stopped dead. A beat, then, quietly, “…come to next week’s sleepover.”

Rainbow threw a mermaid-coloured pillow at Fluttershy. “If you giggle I’ll throw another one.”

Except that Fluttershy was already in a childish fit of laughter by the time Rainbow Dash finished her threat. Rolling her eyes again and rolling upright, Rainbow reached for the furthest throw pillow—decorated with tiny bears in bee costumes—and chucked it.

It hit Fluttershy’s face with a soft thump and did nothing to stop her from doubling over and going breathless-red from laughing.

Rainbow grinned but shook her head. “I want some of what you’re having.”

After two failed attempts to control herself and speak, Fluttershy succeeded in wiping her eye on her palm and shaking her head in reply.

In one word, this was nice.

Fluttershy couldn’t remember the last time she laughed like this—Pinkie Pie was funny, and she wanted to laugh with her and the rest of their friends, but she knew if she did, she’d spend the next half year over-worrying about how loud she might’ve been, or how weird she sounded.

Often enough, Fluttershy caught herself in a mental pirouette of looking back and cringing at everything she ever did.

Which was why Fluttershy let herself go a little too much during these sleepovers; something about how Rainbow Dash just didn’t care enough to judge people, or even remember embarrassing things was comfortable to be around.

Maybe being old friends helped too.

Fluttershy would never say it out loud—she couldn’t weigh Rainbow Dash down with her own issues—but sometimes, she really needed these sleepovers.

“What’ch’ya thinking?” asked Rainbow, eyebrow quirked.

“Nothing,” she said, leaving worth bothering you with unsaid.

It was odd, Fluttershy would later realise, that Rainbow didn’t let it drop like she did most things. “You went from maniacal laughter to dead quiet. What’s up, dude?”

Fluttershy hugged her throw pillow tighter, starting to fold into herself. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

Rainbow pulled a face. “You said that already. Do you have, like, a limited number of unique words per day?”

“On Tuesdays it's twenty-one.”

“Ah.” But she didn’t laugh; instead, Rainbow’s eyes drifted off to a corner of the room. “Umm...listen: sorry, 'bout being so AWOL these past few days.”

Fluttershy withheld the urge to correct her; a three-month difference wasn’t worth interrupting her for. Besides, she was pretty sure she had told Rainbow she was glad to have her over about ten times, and she really didn’t want to give her a new reason to skip out again.

...But it was so nice to have another sleepover.

“I’ll try to come around more often. Cool?”

“Cool,” Fluttershy said, feeling really uncool. And maybe it was that, or maybe it was concern, or guilt that weighed heaviest of all that made her say, “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything,” Rainbow said, almost expectantly.

“Could you...No, I meant, if it's possible-um-I don’t mean to sound rude, but…” Fluttershy bit her lip unconsciously, and braved on. “Rarity is a great person.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow said with the kind of casual tone that suggested that it was common knowledge.

“But...and sometimes, that attracts the bad sort of attention. And,” Rainbow pushed up straight, focusing on Fluttershy now, and made an already difficult conversation harder. “...and, you've been hanging around her more—which is great, I’m so glad you two get along, but—and, I just don't want you to get-get involved in that kind of trouble.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged, but it looked taut. “Trouble’s my middle name.”

“I know, but…”

When she stood up, Fluttershy realised she was shaking. Different things were hard for different people; for Fluttershy, telling one friend that another was dangerous to be around was terribly tough.

Still, some part of caring about someone gave her courage—maybe Dash rubbed off on her a bit, too—to go to her dresser, open the second left drawer, and pull out the ring.

As soon as the light caught it, the glint was in Rainbow’s eyes. So was disbelief.

“Wh-where’d—” she drew herself up on her knees. “I mean, what's that?”

It wasn’t the smoothest catch, and it confirmed Fluttershy's fears: Rainbow was somehow involved.

“Rarity—she dropped it.” Rainbow opened her mouth to cut in, but Fluttershy continued. “I mean, she took it off for a moment, in our Calculus class, and she fiddled with it, but then the teacher called on her and she dropped it by accident. I think she forgot about it, so I-I picked it up, but I didn’t get the chance to give it to her.”

It wasn't the exact truth—Applejack would be disappointed—but it was close enough.

Either way, Rainbow didn’t seem to know the difference. “I can—like, you can give it back tomorrow at Calculus, right?”

“Of course, it's just that–it’s just—remember that transfer student I told you about?” Rainbow made a thinking face. “The pretty one with the bob-cut?”

“Oh, yeah, Destiny Bond.”

That Rainbow knew was another clue. “Yes, Destiny. Well, she had a ring–a ring that looked just like this—” Of the many things that she learned from Rarity, picking out quality jewelry from fakes was proving most important. “And she hasn't been back for a while, and now Rarity has the ring…”

Rainbow waited a bit after Fluttershy trailed off unevenly, but spoke when she realised Fluttershy didn’t know how to go on. “It's prob’ly just a copy. Well, no, Rarity’s no copycat, but she was probably inspired or somethin’.”

“I know,” Fluttershy said softly, dropping down in front of Dash. “I know Rarity too. She's the sweetest, most generous person I’ve met. But right now, I just have a reallybadfeeling about the things happening around her and— ”

Rainbow shook her head, and chuckled half-heartedly. “C’mon, 'Shy. It sounds like it’s just Prom Queen Drama at worst. Might as well say Pinkie’s part of some genetic engineering conspiracy.”

Except that Fluttershy didn’t just throw suspicion at anyone—well, ever. Not mysterious transfer students, not Rainbow’s mother, not even every person who bullied her got the benefit of the doubt.

Yet even after she told herself otherwise, after she spent the past week swallowing down the nervous choking feeling in her throat, she couldn’t shake the evidence that something bigger than themselves was happening with Rarity, and Rainbow Dash was getting pulled in.

Crazier things happened, right?

“Just—Destiny, and the ring, and-and Rarity has been so…caught up in something else for the past few months—Rainbow Dash.” Taking Dash’s hands, Fluttershy faintly noticed how rough they felt in hers. “I don’t want you to get hurt. Please, please, take care of yourself.”

Rainbow Dash watched Fluttershy with an unreadable expression for a long moment before something like—guilt? No, something like unhappiness—settled in her features.

Then, she grinned.

“Yeah, all right, I will. Promise,” she added quickly, seriously, when Fluttershy opened her mouth to ask her to. “I still think you’re totally reading too much into this, but…I promise.”

And when Fluttershy pulled her hands away a few moments later, leaving the ring in Rainbow’s palm, she swallowed quietly, closed her eyes, and breathed easy for the first time since finding it.

Sometimes, she really needed these sleepovers.


It wasn’t until after she nearly spilled coffee all over her chiffon shirt that evening that Rarity realised how much she missed Rainbow Dash’s stupid shock-scares.

“Easy there, Princess,” Rainbow said, perched on her office chair and grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Coffee’s making you jumpy. I recommend Sugarcube Corner’s Roof’s Tea with a hint of Morning Heisting.”

Rarity collected herself, placed her coffee beside her journal, and smoothed her clothes. Offhandedly, she said, “You know, I’ve been going through the reddest of fabrics lately. I’m thinking of –”

“Cut the code, we’re safe: I got the ring.”

Rarity made a mental note to later kick Rainbow Dash for being so smug at her expense. For now, she just grabbed her by the collar. “WHERE IS IT?!”

“Here, here,” Rainbow said, stuffing something cold into Rarity’s fists.

Cradling it like a child, Rarity brought her hands together and stared down at the pristine sterling.

She dropped to her knees.

Rainbow Dash fell at her side. “Oh, we’re starting with the drama this time?”

Rarity added throw high heels to her To-Do to Rainbow Dash list. “You idiot. You’re not the cool one out of us, remember?”

“I don’t even remember breakfast.”

Rarity smiled, breathed through her nose—the soft guitar melody started just after—and dropped sideways against Rainbow Dash. “Thank you.”

“If you were this torn up about it, you should’ve said so.” She shrugged, and Rarity’s head bobbed with it. “You’re not the cool one out of us, either.”

Rarity managed to laugh softly. “Where did you find it?”

“I dropped by your class while skipping mine and it was just there on the ground. Guess it pays to go to Calculus after all.”

Rarity found that beyond bizarre: Calculus may have been painfully mind-numbing at best, but she liked to think she was a pro at all times when it came to her business.

…Well, losing the ring in the first place put that into question, didn’t it?

“In any case,” Rarity continued aloud, “I’m elated to have it back, and beyond relieved to know it was just a stupid mistake on my end.”

“Sure. Does this mean we’re back in business?”

It sounded like someone else missed the way things were, too. “Oh, we’re back, baby.”

“Yeah!” Rainbow shouted, leaping like a spring. This ended in both Rarity falling to the floor with an indignant ‘oof’ and Rainbow slipping in her socks instead of landing and falling face-first.

With pained laughter, they helped each other up, and Rainbow possessively spun in Rarity’s office chair. Rarity sat on her desk, pulling her journal in her lap.

Settled, Rainbow tipped her head forward. “You’re almost out of pages.”

“Mhm.” Rarity continued writing until she finished her sentence, then flipped through the remaining pages. “I was thinking of using a new book before our next mission: a volume three of sorts.”

“You should’ve ended it at when we lost the ring. Would’ve been more of a cliff-hanger.”

“Perhaps. Also, I was thinking –” she held the ring up, and it sparkled in the low lamplight “– of giving this to Sweetie Belle when she grows up a bit. It probably won’t fit right now.”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want it to fall off in class or something,” Rainbow said, spinning, and Rarity couldn’t see the expression on her face.

She smiled, though, despite the jab at herself. Things were back to normal—well, their normal—and they still had what kept them grounded and going. She followed the curls of her cursive writing down to the last few lines, where empty space beckoned ink.

She tipped her pen against her lip and looked up, distantly. It wasn’t until she mentally crossed out three mostly plagiarised closing lines that she realised she was watching Rainbow spin carelessly.

Something about the familiarity of that image brought Rarity warm comfort – like being wrapped up in a cozy blanket with a good book – and with it brought inspiration that she penned out.

You see, Sweetie, in life you’ll find that mediocre people often do extraordinary things; sometimes, it takes the form not of their grandest of arrangements, but their kindest of gestures.

It may be just another little thing, but one day we’ll add up all the little things together and see that they paint the biggest and most beautiful of pictures.

Simpering, Rarity dotted the I’s and crossed the T’s. She listened to the music ease out and end behind the soft thump of shutting her book, and absently ran her thumb along the cover’s edge.

Normal would be different for everyone – and teaching Sweetie Belle that could be Rarity’s normal.


Chapter Three: Someday, Here We Come

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In the last chapter: Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy try too hard to protect each other, but it saves the ring Rarity gifts a faraway Sweetie Belle.

In this chapter: a knight in shining armour makes an appearance, Applejack makes a change, and the house makes for a home.


“C’mon, house number one was perfect for you idiots!”

“Here, here!”

Saturday afternoon found Rainbow Dash — sprawled lazily on the floor — and Rarity — cross-legged on the sofa — watching reality home real-estate television after a successful infiltration on the small local branch of a powerful pharmaceuticals company.

“Oh sweet mercy, they aren't thinking of using aquamarine back-splash, are they?”

“They better not!” Rainbow shouted, throwing her hands up. “That's super crappy.”

This mostly included the loudly voicing the opinion of fiscally challenged teens to unbeknownst adults financially stable enough to own their own houses.

And, considering the pair were crowded in the living room of the rented upper floor of the Carousal Boutique, Rarity didn't have much of a leg to stand on at all. Or space, for that matter.

Still, the two found solace in the small room in the form of complaining, as most people do.

Rarity was especially happy to now be able to share this hobby of hers with Rainbow – after only a few weeks of coaxing her into it subliminally by leaving the channel tuned on almost every time Rainbow was over.

With Rainbow’s routine visits becoming more frequent – now that their missions were making significant headway – this took a sudden effect that Rarity was most pleased by; both the new-found pastime, and the building success of their heists.

And, Rarity thought happily, they even got to use the sleek spy outfits she prepared. Today was a good day.

“Just – ugh!” Rainbow turned her head back to face Rarity. “Can you believe them? It's all scripted, I swear. Who chooses an en suite over a mancave?”

Well, Rarity supposed, Rainbow Dash will be Rainbow Dash. “Oh, you haven't seen anything yet. I have to show you this one episode with the awful brick beach houses.”

Rainbow stretched with a cat-like yawn. “Yeah you do. But later – we gotta get ready now.”

“Oh, yes!” Rarity exclaimed with a start. She looked at the time – half past three – and got off the couch. “My, my, isn't someone excited?”

Rainbow watched Rarity with a bemused expression as she walked to her closet. “Uh, I just got back from climbing through ducts and throwing bath bombs at security guards. Visiting people wasn't even exciting before all that.”

“Well, it could be. I for one am excited to see dear Flurry Heart in the flesh. Photos never do any living thing justice.” Rarity opened her walk-in closet, the sound of an arpeggiated piano riff echoing in her mind as she did, and started the imperative task of choosing the newest best outfit.

It was a feeling that always excited her; before her was a palette of clothing, waiting to be painted with.

Rarity sighed contently.

“It's just a baby,” Rainbow groaned with a grumpy energy that couldn’t come near Rarity’s closet of inspiration. “Cries like the rest of them.”

Rarity pushed aside her fur scarves. Today was a trench coat day. “Oh, of course you'll be that way. At least be happy to see Cadence again! We haven't since the baby shower – oh, I can't wait to hear all about being a mother!”

Rainbow stuck out a tongue. “Blegh.”

“Predictable.” Rarity held out two coats – one ebony and one charcoal – and weighed both warily. “Well, you should get dressed, too. We shouldn't be late, as dear Twilight has been anticipating us for the visit before they even announced it.”

“I'm going like this,” Rainbow said, tugging on her random-brand t-shirt before pushing herself off the floor. “Man, I hope Pinkie brings some rad desserts.”

Rarity nodded distractedly in agreement of anything Pinkie and desserts. Charcoal did look better with grey, but did she really want to wear grey? “That would be nice. Listen, do you think – where are you going?”

Rainbow stopped at the egress to the stairwell. “Gonna drop by the game store for a bit.” When Rarity gave her an incredulous look, she added, “You're gonna take three hours to get ready anyways!”

Rarity huffed, but Rainbow seemed to take it as acceptance and stomped down the stairs with a loudness that Prim Hemline would definitely later complain, 'scared off the customers, the few we have, because heaven knows most of my income comes from the rent and your own indulgence of fashion, Rarity’.

With a newfound determination to prove to Rainbow that perfection could be achieved in two hours if need be, Rarity rehung the ebony coat and turned to her shelves of greyscale dress pants.


Rainbow Dash yawned.

“Oh, oh, was that a yawn? How adorable!”

Apparently, so did Flurry Heart. Which must have been some kind of milestone, because Rainbow yawned like dying tractor, as Applejack put it.

“Is she tired?” Fluttershy leaned closer to Flurry, hands still clamped tight on Rarity’s shoulder. “Oh, we should get her to bed.”

“That's what she said,” Shining Armor muttered with a grin and a skirting look at Cadence.

She seemed too busy with Flurry, like everyone else. “Oh, it's still early. She naps more often in the morning.”

“She's nocturnal!” Twilight chirped. “That will make for some very productive study nights in the future.”

“That's what --”

“Honey, I heard you the first time,” Cadence whispered without looking away from the baby Rarity cradled. “Don't push it.”

Shinning dropped his head. “Okay.”

Too bad, Rainbow thought, because Shinning’s commentary was the best part of the ga-ga baby fest. Rainbow held in the urge to gag, knowing Rarity was even snippier than Cadence.

Still, it had been a pretty long time since the gang got together, and probably felt even longer with the missions Dash has been doing. Right then, sitting in Twilight’s living room with everyone felt like old times.

sap, Rainbow reflected.

“You should take her, still,” Rarity said, but without meaning it. She held her arms out, but moved herself with them until she seemed close to falling over.

Cadence claimed her baby with what Rainbow thought was impressively inconspicuous agility. She hadn't seemed like she had a problem with everyone holding Flurry, but this was the first time they had visited in forever. Maybe Cadence just wasn’t used to sharing her child, or maybe it was motherly instincts.

“So how come you don't visit more often?” Rainbow asked, raring to change the topic to anything else. “Is it just a distance thing?”

“Mostly,” Cadence said, eyes on Flurry. Of course. “And since Flurry, I've taken a leave from work, so Shiny has been working even more now.” She looked up at him, worried. “But we do wish he could stay home more often, spend more time with Flurry.”

Shining nodded. “Yeah. That's why we were thinking of moving back here for a bit – did Twi tell you guys?”

“Yeah,” Applejack said, amused. “Like, a hundred times. Girl was more excited than a gaggle of geese on compost day.”

Rainbow caught Rarity's sour expression at the phrase.

In the meantime, Twilight shrugged self consciously, twirling a lock of hair. “Well, no. Maybe. I just – you know. Like having you guys around. I miss you, sometimes.”

“Aww,” came the chorus, Fluttershy putting a comforting hand on Twilight.

Pinkie came bursting into the room, strawberries clutched in her fist. “It feels like someone here needs a hug!” She pointed a red finger at Cadence. “Is it you? I can hug you right now, and I'll even smell like fruits!”

Cadence giggled sweetly and adjusted Flurry in her arms. “Thank you, Pinkie. I really wish you'd let us help bake, though.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. Dash especially wanted to help clean the bowl.

“Nuh-uh!” Pinkie huffed, striking a hero's pose. “I'm gonna making a home-made baby cakes cake as homemade as possible, and I can't have anyone ruin the first cake this little puff ball ever has!”

With that, she zipped back into the kitchen, leaving a puff of flour behind.

“Smells great so far!” Dash called out encouragingly.

“That girl,” Applejack murmured, shaking her head. Everyone took a moment to silently agree with her.

“Actually,” Cadence started after, looking at Rarity. “Rarity, Twilight told me about your living arrangements. I wanted to ask about that.”

Rarity waved a hand in the way she does when she does...well, just about anything. Flirty-ish. “Oh, do not hesitate, darling. Ask to your heart’s content!”

Shining took the invitation. “So how does the whole living on a store work?”

Rainbow saw the gleam in Rarity’s eye. The only thing that girl loved more than fashion was homecare.

“Oh, it's actually the rich, beloved cousin to living in a basement apartment. You get a lot of light, and a view in most cases. Not to mention good circulation.”

“What about the noise,” Cadence asked. “When the store has a rush hour, or on a regular day. How is that?”

“Oh, the reality is that you will notice traffic underfoot, but if you adjust to it and aren’t sensitive to company, you’ll learn to love it.”

Rainbow looked around at everyone else. Applejack and Fluttershy had started their own hushed conversation, and Twilight was cooing Flurry at Cadence’s side.

Meanwhile, Dash sat adjacent to Rarity and completely cut off from any escape of her conversation. Sure, home television was fun, but that was because you could loudly mock it.

Shining leaned forward. “What about security? You’re more likely to get robbed if it's a store, y'know?”

“Well, not unless it’s a jewelry store or something to that ilk,” Rarity said, and Rainbow swore she saw her eye flicker. “But I do understand your concern. I haven't had any issues thus far. It's a quiet town, if you get me.”

“Yeah,” Shining agreed distantly. “So I figure amenities are close by, 'cause it's a business and all.”

“Oh, yes.”

“What's the cost like?”

“I will admit, it is a bit on the higher end. Of course that depends on many things, but it would be more than a basement apartment.”

“Hhm-hmm.”

Rainbow drummed her fingers. This was almost as excluding as the baby conversation.

“But I would definitely recommend it. The community and convenience that comes with living above a store is unparalleled, and it's worked out for me to be so close to my own place of work. Of course, that's a blessing and a curse.”

“So you're paying it all by yourself?”

“Oh, heavens no! I couldn't afford that. I do what I can, and my parents cover everything else, bless their souls. They work so hard as it is.”

“I couldn't imagine. So I guess the drive back and forth was more than the rent.”

“I would say the push factor was more so the toll all that driving would do. To the environment, and it's terribly numbing to drive so long everyday, combined with the stress.” Rarity sighed. “Moi staying here while they live uptown was the best option, especially for Sweetie.”

“Yeah. If I may ask, how is your sister?”

Rainbow flinched only slightly, but her mind suffered whiplash. She had completely zoned out until Cadence had asked that – not like it was a bad thing, but the mention of it still gave Rainbow the chills. Even she couldn’t just throw the question that casually, and she made a joke of everything.

But Rarity seemed totally not at all phased. Girl took it like a pro, as if it was just another question about her house.

“Oh, she's doing all right. The doctors have been hopeful, at least.”

Cadence brightened. “That's wonderful to hear. I pray for her best. And what about you? Have you been okay?”

Rarity nodded, still all composed. “Oh, yes. Thank you for asking. Everyone has been so kind.”

“Good,” Shining said, sounding deeper, like he was trying to appear tougher. “And hey, we're right around for you, too. Just ask Twi to give us a call if you ever need anything.”

“Most definitely.” Rarity nearly bowed her head. “Thank you.”

Barely a second passed before Pinkie charged back into the room. “Okay, my hug senses aren’t just tingling, they’re full-on electrifying! Who's gonna get a hug? Huh!?”

Everyone laughed, even Rarity, even Rainbow Dash, and just like that, the conversation picked up again. It was almost too smooth, like scripted home TV, Dash thought. Pinkie smothering Rarity in a hug, Applejack excusing herself to the balcony for air, Fluttershy sitting quietly and watching.

Rarity, returning Pinkies hug with a pat from her free arm, as if everything was normal.

Well, Dash thought, poking Pinkie and asking her about licking the bowl, maybe she wasn't in anyplace to say what was normal.


The evening weather was just how Applejack liked it: chilly enough to make you feel fresh.

She spent about three minutes alone there before the sliding door creaked open and she turned around to see Rarity hugging her black coat close to herself.

Applejack watched as Rarity walked up beside her, but her expression was hard to see – partly because it was dark out, but mostly because Applejack saw everything blurry if it was at least foot away.

Twilight had actually helped her find out she needed glasses, but getting them was another story: she had too much to pay for, and everything else took priority. Glasses just weren’t as important to her as bills, or fertilizer, or tractor parts.

Or cigarettes.

Well, Applejack figured as she puffed out a long breath of smoke against the crisp, cold air, gotta feed the soul what it wants.

It was a long minute before Rarity sighed loudly.

“What’s the itch?”

Rarity threw her hands out. “I just don’t know if I could have a child!”

Applejack chuckled. “Ain’t you a bit young to be botherin’ with all that?”

“Well, ain’t you a bit young to be botherin’ with all that?” She motioned her hands in random circles at Applejack, but the message was clear.

All things considered, if Rarity acted older than she was, then Applejack did things she wasn't old enough too do. “Eh.”

“How eloquent,” Rarity muttered as she swiftly plucked the cigar out of Applejack’s fingers – the girl was nimble as a fox, must be from all the sewing – and dropped it over the balcony’s ledge.

They watched it fall and bounce on the pavement below, and then Applejack pulled back and stretched. “I hate it when you do that.”

“I have to do what’s right.”

“Well, littering ain’t right.”

Rarity drummed her fingers against the hand rail. “A small price I’ll pay to save your life, or quality thereof.”

“Actually, yer damagin’ the Earth –“ and Applejack cared a ton about the Earth, “- which is puttin’ the lives of everyone in the world at danger.”

Rarity tapped Applejack’s face softly, twice. “It’s the price I’m willing to pay, for you.”

Applejack rolled her eyes and turned around, leaning her back on the hand rest. “It’s just a cigarette! ‘Ts not even the good kind.”

“There is no good kind!”

Applejack hadn’t lived an easy life, but learned a lot of lessons from it. One of those lessons was that some battle were better lost.

“Didn’t you come out here to complain ‘bout babies?”

“Right!” Rarity perked, then began twisting one of her curls between her fingers. “Seeing Shining Armor and Cadence made me think, ‘hmm, Rarity, do you really want to care for a crying brat for the rest of your otherwise successful life?’.”

“You talk to yerself in the third person when you think?”

“I find myself narrating the story of my life.”

“Ah.”

“Oh, you think it's weird, don't you?”

“No,” Applejack said. She really didn't bother herself much with how other people were, as long as it didn’t get in her way.

Rarity pushed Applejack playfully, but pulled her hands quickly back into her jacket pockets. “Oh, sometimes you're no fun. Call me self-centered, at least!”

Applejack clicked her tongue. “I ain't gonna do that.”

“Oh, you've done it before.”

“I say things when they need to be said,” she explained easily. “But right now it's only gonna start a whole 'nother thing.”

Rarity shifted her elbows in a half dance. “Maybe I want to start a whole 'nother thing.”

Girl's gotta stop sounding more like me than me, Applejack thought, amused. Out loud she said, “Well, you got Dash, and that's a whole ‘nother thing, ain’t it?”

Rarity's brow creased, but she continued dancing. “Darling, what do you mean and where is it even coming from?”

“Oh, you know.” She had to, because everyone else did. “You and Dash even came here together, both late as a gopher in winter. Don't know when you two became two pees in a pod, but hey.”

“We are so not,” Rarity argued, shivering or dancing, Applejack couldn't tell anymore.

“C’mon,” groused Applejack. “What about the times when you make some random, unknown reference to something that no in gets, but Dash still laughs?”

“She's being considerate.”

“She's being part of the joke. 'Ts not a bad thing,” Applejack tipped her hat and spoke a little softer. She wasn't one for pep talks, but she said what she could when she could. “Look. I'm glad you two are gettin’ along. A while ago you were locking yerself out, and I don't care who it is helpin’ so long as they got you outta yer head. It's not easy for me to get started on these kind of things, and it sure can't be for you.”

Because it sure didn't seem easy. The first few weeks when Sweetie Belle was taken to the hospital left Rarity in tears or always near them. That part, everyone could help out, through talking, chocolate, and other things girls did.

The two months that followed – the ones that found Rarity moving alone and away from her family – felt like they would never change.

Rarity would seem like she was doing better, with her emotions in control, and it looked like she would get through things. But something about it always felt too artificial for Applejack’s farmer tastes. Like Rarity began acting a character – herself – and was doing so well it was hard to separate the script from the emotion.

But the small things showed: eating less, Applejack acutely noticed, spacing out more, and increasingly spending time alone and away with practiced excuses were all telltale cracks in her house of stone.

If Rainbow Dash somehow got through to her, got her out of that and into some new comradeship when just before the two couldn't stand to be on the same block as each other, Applejack couldn't be happier.

But she could still be worried over things out of their control. “Apple Bloom keeps me updated with the letters she been sending to Sweeetie. Things sound like they're getting better.”

“Indeed they do,” Rarity said with a distant look Applejack couldn't figure out.

But what she could figure out was how to keep things going. “If there’s anything we can do, don’t even think to yerself in the third person for a moment.”

Rarity smiled a small smile. “Right. Thank you. And also.”

“Yeah?”

Rarity turned and level Applejack with an intent stare that was as warm as it was cold. “I’ve already a sister in critical condition for no good reason at all. You should know that I wouldn’t want to lose a dear friend to something we all tried to stop.”

That was fair, Applejack thought, but life wasn’t. So when she nodded and told Rarity she’d stay out for a bit longer and was left alone, she lit another cigarette.

Rarity ought to know that some battles were better lost than others.


Rainbow Dash didn’t hear Rarity come in, but she felt the sharp slap on her shoulder that almost knocked her cake covered fork out of her hand.

“You should be telling her, she listens to you!”

“Ouch,” Rainbow made sure to say first, rubbing her shoulder and frowning at Rarity. Then, “Who?”

“Applejack!”

“Oh.”

“Oh nothing,” Rarity bit out in an indoor voice. “You know she doesn’t like things when I say them, but she agrees with you with most things.”

Rainbow pulled a face. “No she doesn’t. When I say I’m stronger, she says she is, and when I say I’m smarter, she’s all like, ‘Lyin’s a bad habit, sugarcube’.”

Personally, she thought she did a great Applejack impression, but Rarity didn’t seem impressed. Rainbow continued anyway. “Point is, she does the exact opposite of agree with me. I’m pretty sure she really hangs on things you say.”

Rarity crossed her arms and, in a quiet voice, mumbled, “Well I hope so.”

“’Sides, are you really in any position to tell people what’s morally right and wrong?”

A while ago, that would have given Rarity a pause. Now, she took to it like it was a trivia question.

“T’would be awfully stupid if one was required to be perfect themselves before they could notice something wrong in others,” Rarity said, casually and rehearsed. “We’ve all our reservations and opinions, and the circumstance of one’s relationship is what delegates how we may express them.”

“How many Plato and Achilles theories did you hafta mix together before you came up with that one?”

Rarity dropped her arms. “Achilles? Don't you mean Aristotle? Honey, it doesn't get farther off if you hit Jupiter whilst aiming for the sun.”

“How many?” Rainbow repeated impatiently.

“I had a lot of time to struggle morally internally.”

“Well, obviously that's not a good thing for you,” Rainbow said, slinging an arm over Rarity's shoulders. “‘Cause no one likes excuses.”

“No one likes that a devil-may-care outlook, either.”

“Eh.”

“Eloquently put,” Rarity said, with a smile. She didn't say anything after.

Rainbow was caught between giving Rarity a bro hug or a noogie, though each felt like the wrong thing to do.

As she went in for both, Shining Armor came, stuffing his phone in his pocket as he walked, and stood beside them.

“You look troubled,” Rarity said, standing as well. Rainbow stuffed more of Pinkie’s cake in her mouth and got up.

“Yeah,” Shining mumbled. He blinked, then, as if he just noticed he was talking. “Oh, sorry. Just got a call from work.”

Rainbow wanted to ask, because Shining was a cop and Dash was eager to hear some good action talk.

Rarity beat her to it. “Bad news?”

Shining shrugged. “Kinda. I mean, I was looking into some positions here, and wanted to see what was going on, too. If, y’know, all is safe and stuff.”

The thought big bro instincts came to Dash's mind.

“And?”

“And it's still a tumbleweed town,” Shining chuckled.

Tumbleweed. Dash would have to call Applejack that next chance she got.

“But I got a few weird reports about – “ he shook his head “ – I dunno, crazy Pink Panther style break-ins.”

Rainbow could practically hear Rarity’s offended mental screech in her head, and she agreed. They were more like Spy Kids.

“Yeah,” Shining went on, probably taking their silence as a stunned one. “It's silly, but also sorta concerning. Some big company secrets were broken into in the last stunt. These guys could do some serious blackmail with that.”

Or research, Dash thought.

Rarity hummed thoughtfully. “It's all very intriguing. Any clue on suspects?”

“They're saying it's probably just one group, based on how similarly unorthodox all the crimes have been.”

“Maybe it's the mafia,” Dash suggested. She figured Rarity was fishing for info, so she decided to throw Shinning off their trail.

“No,” Shining said humourlessly. “They don't have a perp, but – ” he dropped his voice conspiratorially low “ – the PD’s got an idea of where they're aiming next, and when. And, heads up: stay away from the museum.”

That threw things out of the kiddie pool and into the shark infested ocean.

Rainbow held her breath. She heard Rarity breathlessly ask, “How...do they know that?”

Shining drew back, and his voice picked up. “Well, I'm not supposed to say. Shouldn't have said much of that at all, but.” He shrugged and grinned. “Eh.”

“Eloquently put,” Rarity remarked, sounding spacey.

He punched his chest and grinned even wider. “Hey, don't worry. The best cop around is gonna join the party and bust these jokers.”

Piranhas. The shark ocean now had piranhas.

“Oh?” tittered Rarity, just slightly shaking.

“No doubt. Not gonna let anything touch my sis. And double that with my babies moving here.”

Dash wasn't sure what to think first. Heh, smooth. Also, crapcrapcrap! with a little, we're not jokers, idiot! On the side.

Man, maybe Dash thought too much too.

“Speaking of,” Rarity cut in a little rigidly. “Where are Cadence and Flurry Heart?”

Shining shrugged. “Having cake. But I should probably go find 'em. Your friend Pinkie just had a quintuple shot molasses thinking it was espresso and I'm guessing the situation's about to get sticky.”

He waved and head off, leaving Rarity and Rainbow Dash to look at each other in the kind of slow horror that sinks in the stomach like five shots of molasses.

Finally, Rarity whispered, “A sticky situation indeed.”

Rainbow Dash nodded without knowing it. “That's what she said.”


Applejack was still a bit put out at the haystack of homework they were assigned when she saw Rarity looking aimlessly into her locker.

Maybe gettin' all dreamy-eyed at her Gone Girls shrine or whatever, she thought passively, and giving herself a enough of a chuckle to pull her out of her funk.

Applejack had the very useful ability to get over things quick. Unlike Rarity, for example, who was still lost in thought as Applejack walked past her. Alone.

Rainbow Dash was in detention for complaining loudly what Applejack had thought. Leave it to that girl to cluck like a goose and fight like one too.

Applejack turned heel and stopped beside Rarity, tipping her hat. “Howdy, stranger.”

“Howdy,” Rarity responded with a quick smile but aimless eyes.

As Applejack peered into Rarity’s locker, she herd her squeak.

“What?”

“Your hat is in my eye!” Rarity indignantly huffed.

“Sorry.” AJ stepped back and pushed the brim up involuntarily. “Whatchu starin’ at like a lost chick?”

“You know, I wish you'd call me that as a compliment and not as a farm animal,” Rarity sighed. “I was just thinking. And yourself?”

Applejack shrugged. “Came 'round to see ya.”

“It's always good to see you,” Rarity said, in that flirty was she said most things. “But I do have to be going soon.”

“Jus’ waitin’ for RD, yeah?”

Applejack hoped that didn’t come out accusingly. She hadn't meant to say it, but it came to mind and, if she was honest, her own filter was almost as bad as Rainbow’s.

Rarity neither said yes or no, instead asked, “Did she get held up in your last class?”

“Eeyup.”

“Typical.”

She sighed again, deeper, as she shut her locker, and had a pinched look on her face that Applejack couldn't read.

Seriously, sometimes Rarity wore her lip-gloss heart on her cheek, and sometimes she wore a mask that had way too many distracting decorations.

But Applejack could at least tell something was on her mind. Anyone could. “So you headin’ home then?”

“No…” Rarity trailed off, not in her theatrical style. She paused, thinned her lips, then turned them into a smile at Applejack. “Actually, I was hoping you would accompany moi to the museum right now.”

Applejack took a moment to think of an answer to the sudden change. “Yeah?” She settled on.

“Yes. Please? I'd hate to go alone.”

“I'm sure you would,” Applejack caved. She wasn't all too thrilled to get home and do her homework anyway. “I jus’ hope there’s something exciting you’re goin’ for.”

Rarity started walking her very hip-driven walk, and Applejack followed. Her thin smile remained, but with a familiar puckishness. “Oh, you'll see.”


Applejack didn't see.

Not entirely because she needed glasses, which is something she wish she'd stop reminder herself of.

“I do like this one,” Rarity commented on what was the fifth sparkling rock they passed in the last twenty minutes.

“It's a rock,” Applejack said, her enthusiasm dry as a southern well in summer.

“Hhm-hm,” Rarity hummed in response. She swung her hands to her right in a way she had done a few times by now, that left Applejack wondering if she was in a weird dancing mood.

They had been at the local museum – which was more like a fancy pawn shop the size of a grocery store of two stories – for almost an hour now, with not much to say about it. Rarity lead the way to some gem or some hundred-year-old tool, made a comment that was hard to reply usefully to, and made some probably hoity-toity hand wave before rinse and repeat.

Sometimes Applejack would try at conversation, but Rarity was too distracted and only paid enough attention to Applejack to tell her ‘not to touch everything with her muddy farm hands’.

Applejack was tempted to mention taking a smoke break just to get Rarity started on an argument for fun.

...that sounded too much like something Rarity would do, Applejack considered sourly.

Instead, she took another shot at the wind. “You heard about ‘Shy’s brother?”

“What about him?” Rarity asked, scrutinising a gem with holes.

“Well, she says he's visiting, maybe.” Applejack half-chuckled. “We'll have all three big brothers in this small town, huh? Think it’ll implode?”

“Perhaps.”

Applejack wasn’t too used to Rarity being this aloof. Felt a lot like grief-stricken Rarity.

Was she still bothered by yesterday? And should AJ be distracting her, or snapping her out of it?

“Did you see the news?” Applejack asked, deciding on the former.

Rarity turned and walked a few strides to look at another wall of stone that looked like a bubble cake. “Well this is interesting.”

Applejack shrugged. “Yeah.”

It may have sounded more like a question, because Rarity looked at her, pointing at the rock with a silky white gloved that probably didn't even keep her dainty hands warm from the weak November wind.

“Oh, yes. Did you know this particular gem is thought to have stored a compound of minerals known to speed up the cell healing process? Research is still being done.”

“Leave it to you t'believe in healing stones and all that dream-catchin’ magic,” Applejack mumbled.

Rarity sighed with a motion of her hands, and said, “You seem bored. Are you bored?”

“I ain't bored,” Applejack denied on reflex.

“I think you are.”

“Well, anyone else wouldda been bored dumb with these bland walls and blander showpieces. RD wouldda been too.”

Rarity looked at her with – disappointment – but spoke as casually as ever. “Why do you keep bringing her into things, honey?”

Honestly, she didn't know why. “I ain’t.”

“Because you do keep bringing her up, in case you're not keeping track of that,” Rarity persisted, walking on. “It's not like she and I just met yesterday.”

Applejack followed, and answered calmly, if a bit grumpy. “Seems like it. One day you're shoutin’ at her to 'remove her smelly soccer aura’ and the next you two are waltzing into dinner parties late together.”

They walked into the entrance to a large, open display room, but stopped at a glass-enclosed podium that Rarity studied. “Friends don't always get along flawlessly. You and I are a perfect example of that.”

Applejack shook her head. She wasn’t jealous, that surely wasn't the problem. “Look, I said it before, I'm glad y'all're getting’ along. I jus’ – I don't know.”

“W-”

“I ain't done,” Applejack cut in. She wasn't the type to talk about feelings and mush, so she knew that she could try and get it out now, or she could push it away behind all the responsibilities in life. “I jus’ – I guess I wanna know why.”

“Why?” Rarity parroted.

“Why. Like, why did it – well, maybe more like what. What did she do to help you outta your funk when the gang all tried to. Pinkie tried her darnest, and she could make a crow laugh.” She stiffed her hands into her pocket, and ignored the old receipt that crumpled under her fist. “Heck, I got more experience with dyin’ family and I couldn't help you none.”

When Rarity didn't answer for a while, Applejack had he sinking feeling that she had been maybe too direct. Maybe that's why Rarity avoided her the first few weeks: Applejack handled these things with a brutal honesty that just wasn't for everyone.

Then, after a long enough wait that Applejack almost took it all back, Rarity smiled, giggled a bit.

“I think you're upset at yourself.”

“Yeah?”

Rarity nodded slowly, blinked just as slow. “I think, I think you were upset that there was something you learned the hard way, and you didn’t want someone you cared about going through the same thing. I think you’re upset that I went through what I’ve been through, and you blame yourself.” She leveled Applejack with a steady gaze. “And I think you’re stupid to be upset over that.”

Applejack grimaced. Sometimes Rarity could be as precise as her needle point. “I ain’t stupid.”

“You’re right, that was wrong of me to say.” Rarity ran a finger absently along the edge of the glass vault, attention now on Applejack. “But it was honest, wouldn’t you say?”

Darn devil girl. “Fine, you win.”

Rarity returned her hand to herself. “Oh, and was my prize this lovely date of ours?”

Throwing her head up, Applejack groaned loudly. “Woman, you have a one-track mind.”

“You do, too,” she heard Rarity counter. “That, and we both seem to share this inability to ask for help when we need it. Two pees in a pod, if you will.”

Applejack dropped her head and snorted. “You will.”

Rarity gave her an easy smile. She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again to say, “As for Rainbow Dash – she has an unending source of dumb luck.”

“Yeah?” Applejack prompted.

“Yes, I would say. And she has a tenacity to get involved that you wouldn’t believe.” She hummed fondly. “And sometimes, if you’re the right person at the right place at the right time, all the wrong things start to balance out.”

Applejack waited for her to say more. When nothing came, she said, “That don't make much sense.”

“Oh, believe me, honey, things in my life stopped making sense a while ago.”

“Well, this time it's jus’ cause you ain’t explainin’ like a normal person would.”

Rarity shrugged, then, still looking wistful. “Fine. Rainbow Dash just happened to be my knight in shinning armour.”

Of course she would say that. “She beat at this one thing, then, huh?”

“It isn't a competition.”

“You bet your lady fingers it is,” Apple countered.

“Of course.” Rarity rolled her eyes, then trained them on the contents of the glass case. “They say Meadowbrook herself wrote the cure-all elixir in her notes right here.”

Applejack leaned over to look at the papers scattered in the display. “Is that what this is?”

“Well, it's believed so,” Rarity explained with a flourish of her hands. “You'd have to read it to find out.”

“Huh.”

She straightened then, clapping her hands before pulling off her gloves slowly. “Well, our grievances out of the way, I suppose all that's left to visit is the gift shop, wouldn't you say, Green Eyes?”

Apple groaned. “And I thought this couldn't get any worse.”

Rarity walked back to Applejack, link arms with her, and dragged her off. “Oh, come now. Maybe they'll have some aged cigars you'll like.”

“It ain't wine. 'Sides, gift shops are overpriced. You know that.”

“I have to by now, with how often you'll bring it up.”

“Sure,” AJ huffed. Still, she let Rarity take her away. “We should get something for yer sis. Maybe a nice little bow.”

“The thought is appreciated, but I think you’re confusing sisters here.”

Applejack laughed, and for a while she let Rarity lead her through the empty-as-a-chicken’s-stomach halls.

Then, with a suddenness, Rarity said, “I would like to make mention that I do appreciate when your being honest with me – the sincere, emotional honesty.” She smiled wryly. “I could do without your misplaced comments on various other things, such as my taste in leisure pursuit.”

Apple returned it with an easy grin. “Hey, you get it all or you get none, sugarcube.”

“I’ll have a serving of all, then, please,” Rarity said with that subtle tease of hers that Applejack could see miles away without glasses.


Smashing through the glass wasn't very subtle, but it was dangerous.

Just Rainbow's style.

And, having the element of surprise, throwing two swift darts that caught the bewildered guards’ neck before they even turned around was so Dash's style.

The two burly men fell over almost instantly, without any chance to raising alarms. Dash sidestepped one gingerly, but in doing so stepped right on the other one's face.

Huh, Dash mused when he didn't wake up screaming, those knock out drugs are hardcore.

Which meant Dash owed Rarity $50 for betting against the usefulness of their pharmaceuticals heist. But in her defense, it did put them on the cop’s radar, Shinning Armor’s no less.

Dash made her way to the control panel, and gave the dated, overly distributed security cam system an arrogant glance.

What is this, amateur hour? I've hacked so many of these, I could do it in my sleep.

Which sounded like a good idea right about now, the computer reading one in the morning and her creeping yawn reading just as late. She smothered it, though, because if shattering heavy glass didn’t wake the whole town, Dash’s yawn would.

She got to work rewinding through the day's footage. She stopped at 3:46 the past afternoon, the time she got Rarity’s text, and sure enough, the camera showed her and Applejack breezing through the halls like any old random high schoolers going to a boring museum on a school day.

Well, that wasn't fishy as much as it was a huge red flag with bold, capital letters spelling loser.

She watched the playback on twice speed, making note of the hand motions Rarity made at each display they stopped at.

At one point, Rarity and Applejack had a long conversation, which Dash lazily fast forwarded until she saw Rarity take off her gloves – same ones Dash was wearing now to keep from leaving fingerprints behind – and rewound just enough to catch Rarity’s super-fancy hand dance.

That one was the big fish, then.

Dash looked at the museum guide she picked out of the trash can. Six items checked off, and one mega-checked. Which was the same as saying seven easy steals for one super awesome Rainbow Dash.

She'd have to make it quick, though. Half an hour had already gone into phase one, and even if museum security was way more lax than company buildings – there wasn't much any normal criminal would steal from this hick town’s thrift exhibition anyway – she knew now not to tease the piranhas under the thin ice.

It was all right, though. Dash plucked her darts out of the security guards before searching for another window to smash. She wasn't an ace at this for nothing. Besides, she had to get that stupid homework done for tomorrow.

Rainbow Dash sighed. At least she could do one thing right today.


“Honey, could you be any worse at this?”

Rainbow threw her arms out. “I didn't even tip off security!”

Rarity pinched the bridge of her nose. She really appreciated Rainbow's enthusiasm, but it sometimes came out in the form of smashing glass unnecessarily.

“It's not like they wouldn't notice anything was stolen,” Rainbow argued.

“I would believe the contrary; it was so dead when Applejack and I went, I'd be surprise if they missed anything other than the reports.”

That peaked Rainbow's interest. “Hey, yeah. Do you really think those will help?”

Rarity flipped open the unassuming textbook to where Meadowbrook’s notes were tucked in. “I certainly hope so. But we won't know until I get it translated.”

Rainbow let out a long breath and leaned against the locker. “Too bad we can't get Twi to give us a hand.”

“Hhm,” Rarity hummed. She inspected the notes closer; fraying, yellowing paper with faded ink that smelled distinctly like wet winter pine needles. “Actually.”

Rainbow crossed her arms. “Yeah?”

“I wanted to tell Shining Armor that we're the thieves.”

Rainbow blinked, and Rarity wasn't sure if it was the surprise or her sleepiness that caused the delay in reaction.

Whichever it was, Rainbow pushed herself off the locker and cracked her voice on shouting, “WHAT?!”

“Relax,” Rarity hushed, patting Rainbow like an excited pup. “Listen to me. Listen.”

“I'm listening.”

“I just thought – ” Rarity hesitated “I’ve just been thinking a lot. Wouldn’t it be helpful if we got a friend as an ally?”

“And I’m chopped liver?” Rainbow challenged.

Rarity shook her head. “Absolutely not. You’re the hero. But if having you by my side got us this far this fast, imagine what having a cop of all people on our side. We could tip the scales in our favour indefinitely.”

“Or,” Rainbow hissed, “or, it could just get our behinds totally busted!”

Rarity sighed. She didn't come to the idea willingly herself, but talking to Applejack made her think things over with a new perspective. “Sometimes it's up to us to seek help when we need it. And we need it now, when we're so close to both getting caught and getting our answers. This could be the checkmate move for us.”

Rainbow didn't say anything, just fell back against the lockers with a loud rattle. Rarity put her hands on her arm, and looked at her imploringly.

“You trust my judgement, don’t you, darling?”

Rainbow scoffed and looked away, but didn't follow it up with anything until Rarity squeezed her arm.

Fine, tell the stupid guy. I still think everyone’s too dumb to find us out anyway.”

Rarity smiled and shook Rainbow lightly. “Oh, don't be like that. It was just dumb luck that you yourself found out.”

“Yeah right,” Rainbow scoffed. “Just admit that I'm better at spy work than you are.”

Rarity mock-gasped. “I'll only admit you are a far lighter sleeper at home than you are in class.”

“You just suck at sneaking around when it isn't with fancy words.” Rainbow flicked Rarity nose devilishly. “You could have woken up the entire neighborhood.”

“Firstly,” Rarity listed, freeing Rainbow's arm, “who leaves Lego blocks on the floor? Secondly, the javelin was just rotting away in your room, I did more than just myself a favour by stealing it, and third – ”

Rarity softened, leaned her back against the lockers, and gave Rainbow a soft, sidelong look. “Thank you for being so infuriatingly stubborn to follow me like a stalker. I learn everyday that in life, we need people to help us get by, willingly or not.”

Rainbow snorted and smiled. “Hey, I’m just in it for the thrill.”

“I know.”

They stalled there for a while, and all the people scuttling to get home or get to afterschool class or to detention like Rainbow Dash should have been, all of it was background noise.

The sound of a naïve melody surrounded the two of them instead.

“It’s gonna be so weird,” Rainbow whispered, “we’ve never told anyone the actual truth. Not even Sweetie Belle.”

Rarity nodded with her eyes closed. “The end is nigh, isn’t it?”

“Bring it on,” came Rainbows easy answer.

Rarity blindly reached for Rainbow’s hand, and held it carefully when she found it. “We’re homebound, darling.”