> Chair of the Bored
>  by Comma Typer
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Meet and Greet and Seat
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a sunny morning in the Ponyville marketplace, ponies milling about on the market floor—or, rather, the market ground.
That dry gray market ground where not a single plant grows save for a few weeds here and there.
The noise of ponies talking to each other filled the air as they engaged in conversation at the various stands scattered about. Buyers and sellers negotiating prices, discounts, and quality over anything from a simple tomato to an invaluable painting. Over there, Thunderlane carried a shopping bag with his wing, purchasing several fruits and vegetables; notably, he had his chef's hat on, his toque blanche. Over here, just a little bit to the side, Octavia and Maud were interrogating a glasses-wearing jeweler about the delayed order of bracelets for an upstate social event in Canterlot. Finally, farther on, there was Princess Twilight Sparkle trotting around, levitating a quill and a checklist while wearing a saddle bag.
She was not alone.
Following her were those six students: Gallus, the griffon; Silverstream, the hippogriff; Smolder, the dragon; Yona, the yak; Ocellus, the changeling; and Sandbar, the pony.
The first three hovered their way through the marketplace; the latter three moved through on hoof.
All of them, save for Sandbar, drank in the sights and the sounds, sometimes stopping for a brief moment to take a better look at this or that item.
With Silverstream being the most frequent cause of said stops.
"OK, OK!" she yelled, straying from the group and flying up to a fast food stall with an aproned cook tending to it. Pointing at the fries behind the glass display: "Oh, uh, sir! May I ask what those little sticks are? Because they smell good!"
"The smell's from the hayburgers," the cookpony replied. "Now, these 'little sticks', as you say? These are 'fries'."
"Do you eat 'em?" Silverstream asked.
The pony kept up a smile. "Why, yes! They're slices of potatoes deep-fried—"
"Oh, I learned about potatoes last week during biology class!"
That cook raised an eyebrow. "You...did?"
"I tried eating one, but they were so mushy and bleh! It's so...dusty inside your mouth when you chew on them."
"Uh, did you actually try cooking them?"
Silverstream heard hoofsteps and wing flaps.
She turned around.
Saw the rest of her classmates and friends coming by.
"Uh, what's going on?" Sandbar asked, glancing at the fast food stall and then at Silverstream.
Gallus, above the ground, crossed his forelegs. "Let me guess...something new you want to shout about until everyone knows what it is?"
Ocellus took a step forward. "At first, we thought you would come over and wait for Twilight over there." She pointed at an empty wooden stand. "But, you didn't go there, so...here we are."
Silverstream gulped. "Um...I'm not in trouble, right? We won't be too late for the second batch?"
Smolder shook her head. "It's just over there. Twilight will call us when she comes back, so we can just hang out here."
Silverstream nodded, then faced the cook. "So...what do they taste like?"
The cook smiled and sighed. "Look, I'll just give all of you a free sampler. You see, I'm new in town, and I'm trying to build the business up."
"I'll take it!"
"You'll take over his business?" Smolder asked, raising a claw in confusion.
Silverstream covered her mouth. "Oops! I mean...I'll take the sampler!"



The six of them sat on the ground by the stall, munching on hot hayburgers and crispy fries while being watched over by the cookpony counting his bits.
Yona gulped down yet another bite. "Yona like this pony food!"
Ocellus, meanwhile, examined one of her fries, rotating it close to her eyes. "Uh, didn't Applejack say that they're unhealthy?"
"What's it to ya'?" Gallus retorted, holding up a fry of his own. "Most of us like flying around, so we'd burn those calories  in no time!" Then, looking at Smolder who was busy with a burger of her own: "Hey, you're a dragon, right?"
Smolder growled.
"Which explains why you're so fit all the time because you burn your calories! Am I right, or am I right?"
The dragon proceeded to slap the punny griffon.
Then, a voice: "Oh, there you are!"
Everyone turned their heads around.
There, Twilight Sparkle herself, levitating a greasy paper bag. "Sorry for the delay. I went over to the Hay Burger to buy my breakfast."
Stepped forward, seeing the hayburgers and fries on her students' hooves and claws and wings and hands.
"And...it turns out great minds do think alike! Now, come on! Can't let this surprise field trip go to waste—Seat Edge is waiting!"
So, the students stood up and followed her, still eating their food.
"I can't wait for her to show us more fields!" Silverstream exclaimed before stuffing her mouth with a hayburger.



They stopped before that wooden stall.
Chairs of all shapes and sizes were advertised behind the stall and in front of the stall, with those at the front being the more lavish and the more stylish ones with chair covers or wheels; the ones at the back were nondescript and more generic, merely standard and ordinary chairs nobody would pay much attention to on a regular basis.
The stall's vendor, Seat Edge, was a yellow Earth pony. He scratched his blue mane as he saw the students and their royal teacher approach him.
At this, he picked up a comb, brushed his mane, looked at himself in the mirror, and inhaled then exhaled slowly.
Wore a nice grin.
"Good morning, dear sir!" Twilight greeted.
Seat Edge responded with a surprised scream, held the mirror with his hooves, and looked at her.
Twilight was right across the stall. "Oh! That's a lovely...mirror."
He could see Gallus and Smolder snickering among themselves.
Seat Edge put the mirror away, visibly shaking. "Uh, good morning, uh, Princess Twilight Sparkle!"
He respectfully bowed down before her.
To the point that his whole body was hidden by the stall.
Gallus and Smolder chuckled more, now with Yona joining in with her deep and distinctive laughter.
Twilight glanced at them.
They stopped laughing.
She turned back to Seat Edge.
Or, rather, the stall that was hiding the kneeling Seat Edge.
"You don't have to do that, sir," Twilight said, peeking over the stall. "I'm here as their teacher—well, as their principal, too, but, you get the point."
Seat Edge promptly stood up and showed his face to the whole batch, wearing a nervous smile. "Oh, OK!"
Twilight nodded, turned around, and began: "Students, this is Seat Edge! He was born in the city of Manehattan, but, nowadays, he travels around with his mobile chair business! Today, he will be serving as my assistant to teach you about a significant topic that I'm sure we're all familiar with but we, nevertheless, ignore most of the time."
"You mean chairs?" Gallus asked with closed eyes and a casual mien.
Twilight smiled. "Why, yes! Chairs!"
Gallus blinked. "What?!"
"Huh?" was Ocellus's reply.
"Really?!" Smolder cried out.
"Uh..." was Sandbar's one and only word for that.
"Yona know what chair is!" Yona complained.
"Yes, chairs!" Silverstream roared in excitement, flying to the air and spinning around, turning about, and then hovering back to the ground.
Everyone gave her strange looks.
Gallus patted her on the back. "You sat on a chair during class, Silverstream."
"I know!" Silverstream said. "We also have chairs underwater and above water, but maybe we're going to learn about the pony chair!"
Yona shook her head. "How can pony chair be better than yak chair?
Twilight held up a hoof. "I'm not making any comparisons here! It's plain to all of us that chairs aren't restricted to one single culture. Chairs are a universal phenomenon—we ponies have them, griffons have them, yaks have them, hippogriffs and seaponies have them, dragons have them, changelings have them, and lots more have them!"
"Even the tiny breezies?" Silverstream inquired.
"Yes, although I don't recommend you call a breezie 'tiny' straight to their face."
Twilight then turned to Seat Edge.
Who was trembling.
"May you please give me a chair?"
"W-Will do, m-ma'am—uh, your Highness!"
He galloped to the back, grabbed a chair, and trotted his way to her, carrying the chair over his shoulder.
Twilight levitated the chair away from him. "That's alright, Seat Edge."
Seat Edge breathed a sigh of relief, wiped the sweat off of his face.
This royal teacher put the chair down for the students to see.
It was a typical chair. Wooden, backrest, four legs.
That was all.
The class blinked together in silence.
"I know," Twilight said. "You might be a little surprised. In fact, you're probably wondering 'What is she gonna teach us with a chair?'"
"Well, what are you gonna teach us with a chair?" Smolder asked with folded arms.	
"I'm glad you asked, Smolder!" Twilight said. "It's about being amazed at the mundane by seeing the whole picture."
The students looked at each other in askance, confused.
"So, that's a sculpture?" Silverstream said.
"Not exactly," Twilight said. "It's a piece of furniture, but you know that already."
"I don't get it," Gallus asked, opening up a claw. Baffled. "What's the point?"
"Well, there's three fascinating points we could learn from chairs," Twilight said. "Plus, I get to show you every kind of chair I could show you in the space of ten minutes!"
Sandbar sat down on the ground.
Ocellus, too.
Smolder rolled her eyes and followed suit.
Yona sat down as well.
"This is gonna be fun!" Silverstream blurted out, holding two fisted claws up to her happy cheeks.
Gallus groaned. "Look, I'm just not getting it."
The rest of his friends glared at him.
"Fine!"
He sat down.
"We're off to a good start!" Twilight said.
Cleared her throat.
"As you know, chairs are for sitting. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from—standing or flying or swimming around too much is tiring even for the athletic. So, in order to ease their exhaustion, they invented the chair."
Ocellus raised a hoof.
"Yes, Ocellus?"
She scratched her head. "Who exactly made the first chair?"
"That's a good question!" Twilight replied. "Actually, no one really knows who made the first chair—that's because it doesn't matter. Like I said, chairs are a universal phenomenon. Of course, why is it universal? Because everyone needs to sit down once in a while, and chairs are the logical conclusion."
Twilight then sat down on the ground with them.
"The first thing about chairs is that they're like grass. I guess you know what grass is."
"Yeah," Gallus replied, agitated. "We're not fledglings."
"But, do you ever think about grass on a daily basis, Gallus?" Twilight asked.
Gallus tapped his chin with a rough toe. "Hmm...I don't..."
"But, you know you see it everyday?"
"When I moved here to sunny Ponyville, yes." He smirked.
"Oh...that's right, because...well..."
Twilight rubbed her head in thought.
"Ah, you, Sandbar!"
Sandbar raised his head.
"Do you see grass everyday?"
Sandbar nodded. "Yes."
"But, do you think about them a lot?"
Sandbar shook his head. "No."
Twilight's smile grew. "Why don't you think a lot about grass even though they're everywhere in Ponyville?"
The questioned pupil looked up, thinking. "It's because they're too common. I'm an Earth pony, so I like grass more than the average pony, but...you can't do a lot with grass."
Twilight nodded, shifting her view back to all the students there. "That's true. I admit, grass is pretty ordinary. It doesn't look special unless there's tons of flowers."
Everyone looked at her, watching her.
"But, what happens if you remove all the grass here in Ponyville?" She motioned a hoof toward a patch of grass over there by a cottage. "Will you notice?"
The students nodded.
"What do you think Ponyville will look like without grass?" Twilight posed.
Ocellus raised her hoof. "It would be a bleak landscape, dreary and devoid of liveliness. Even if everything and everyone else remained the same, I wouldn't want to live here."
Twilight nodded, smiling more, checking the rest of her students by moving her head about a bit. "Anyone else who'd want to give it a shot?"
Smolder raised her claw, wearing a dull face.
"Yes, Smolder?"
"I wouldn't sneeze a lot, that's for sure," Smolder said.
Twilight took a step back, perplexed. "Why not?"
"Because grass is...smelly. It's not just the flowers. Lots of grass does that, too."
Gallus raised his claw. "She also won't get sick a lot. Smolder stays healthy, she doesn't have to stay in bed, and she gets to attend more classes."
A bead of sweat broke out on Twilight's smiling face. "We're getting off-topic pretty quickly, so...ahem, as I was trying to say—just like how grass is everywhere yet we don't notice it, chairs are everywhere but we don't notice them, too."
"So, are they invisible unless you look directly at them?" Silverstream asked. "I mean, I knew there was something more to chairs than just sitting, but...wow! They're magical?!"
"Some chairs are magical," Twilight replied, "but this was made in an ordinary chair factory where woodworkers carve out the individual parts of the chair and put them together."
The class was silent.
Silverstream grinned at the idea of chairs being invisible sometimes.
"Any questions?" Twilight asked.
Gallus raised his claw again. "I still don't get it. Why chairs?"
"Oh, you'll see why when we get to the next two fascinating points we can learn from chairs."
He groaned. "What fun this will be. At least math problems are like puzzles..."
Twilight cleared her throat once more.
Getting the whole attention of the class.
Seat Edge pulled a chair and watched the class from his stall, eating a few hayburgers himself.
"The next thing we can learn from chairs is that even something as simple as a chair can convey a long history."
Yona raised her hoof. "Like yak throne?!"
Twilight beamed. "Yes, like the throne that the Prince of Yakyakistan sits on. While it would be rude to ask Prince Rutherford to borrow his throne and bring it all the way to Ponyville, Pinkie Pie managed to get a picture of it during one of her trips and..."
Floated a picture into view.
"You can see for yourself."
The class looked at the picture.
Sandbar got it.
Everyone else leaned closer.
Depicted on the picture, a wooden throne. A heraldic design symbolizing the yaks of Yakyakistan was chiseled on the backrest, the front legs had diamond designs of blue and yellow, and the top of the chair imitated the black crown and the royal horns of the Prince himself.
"Even Yona gets a cool throne!" Gallus commented. "Griffonstone's stuck with nothing."
For a second, Twilight frowned at him, becoming thoughtful.
Then, she smiled, still sitting in place and turning to the yak. "Now, Yona, I'm sure that throne has a deep and rich history that goes back hundreds of generations to pre-Equestrian times, but I'm not familiar with the specifics of your throne. What I am familiar with is that you were taught Yakyakistan history back in yak school, right?"
"Right, principal pony!"
Twilight kept smiling and rolled her eyes. "I'm not asking you to recite the whole history of the throne. I just want you to tell me the most significant and important points in history that the chair was witness to."
Yona smiled back at her. "Yak can recite whole history of throne!"
Her friends flinched at that.
"What?!" Twilight yelled. "Hold on!"
She leivtated a quill and a notepad out of her bag.
"Tell me!" Twilight ordered, frantic with writing material ready. "This must be recorded forever in history!"
All eyes were on Yona.
That proud, smiling Yona.
She took in a large breath of air.
"Throne made two weeks ago. Prince Rutherford smashed last one."
Twilight's eye twitched at that, a happy grin still on her.
The class burst into laughter, including Yona, the jokester herself.
Even Edge Seat was in on the laughs.
"Good one, Yona!" Smolder commended, giving her a high-five.
"But, Yona was not joking. Throne really two weeks old."
They suddenly stopped laughing.
Only to advance into howling guffaws—there, Silverstream was slamming the ground with her claw, unable to control herself in laughter; Gallus and Smolder were in stitches as they rolled around on the ground, Sandbar snapped his head back in cackles, and Ocellus covered her mouth to stifle her snickering but even that could be heard. Yona was the loudest, shrieking in laughter.
Twilight felt more sweat coming down her face. "Uh, c-class?"
They kept laughing.
And laughing.



Spike ran down the carpeted hallway, passing by the crystal walls and feeling no temptation to eat them.
Hurrying, scurrying down until he reached a tall set of double doors.	
Knocked.
"Uh, Twilight? Are you awake?"
Doors glowed.
Swung inside, swung open.
There was Twilight, standing right in front of Spike. "Oh, hi, Spike! What's the matter?"
Spike peeked to the left, trying to look past her. "Smolder was asking if—woah!"
Behind Twilight, dozens of chairs.
Spike gulped. "I knew it!" Facing Twilight: "What's with you and your obsession with chairs lately?!"
She poked her head out into the hallway and looked left and right.
No one inside.
"Come quick, Spike!"
Twilight pulled him in.
Closed and locked the doors.
The two of them alone with a lot of chairs in her bedroom.
"Uh, Tw-Twilight?" Spike asked. "What's happening?"
"You're right!" Twilight exclaimed, stretching her two forehooves out into the air. "I am obsessed with chairs!"
Spike scratched his head. "But, why?"
Twilight breathed in. "Do you remember when you booked Ember and Thorax on the same day?"
"Yeah, I—"
"Of course, you do!"
Spike gulped again, slowly backing away.
"I remember, too! I remember when I had to distract Thorax by showing him chairs! Well, the comfy chair for fictional reads was and still is for fictional reads—"
"But, I already know—"
"—and the crystal chair is for studying, but...after I started the school, I was bored one day, and do you want to know what I thought of?"
Eye twitched.
"Chairs."
Spike stayed silent, a terrified look on him.
"I could classify the chairs in the castle according to how, when, and why I want to use them. Then, I realized...I never read much about chairs outside the odd encyclopedia article! Could there be a more efficient way to categorize chairs? That's why I ordered a few books from several libraries up in Canterlot—"
"Which explains the mysterious box of books on Tuesday," Spike remarked.
"—and...and...and...you wanna know what I found, Spike?!"
Spike was back to being terrified. "Uh...I...don't know?"
"Chairs are great!"
Twilight hopped away from view, letting Spike see all the chairs in their many colors, their many kinds, their many sizes.
"The first step is you start noticing chairs wherever you go," Twilight began, speaking fast. "Then, the second step is you start studying each and every chair that comes your way. You learn more about the world around you and the pony who owns the chair and the ponies who used to own the chair and who originally made it—if you can go that far, then it's a perfect streak, but it's alright to be imperfect with your information as long as it never contradicts! Finally, you analyze the chair—why did the pony buy a red chair instead of a blue one? Why a recliner instead of a butterfly chair? Why does she hate bean bags?"
"Aren't those like the same 'fascinating' points about chairs you taught the whole school this morning?" Spike asked, concerned.
"Yes, Spike, yes!" Twilight said, nodding her head. "I'm only spreading my love for knowledge and my love for chairs—I know it'll go away; I'll be back to my good old normal self! I'm aware of that—but, until the world's understanding of chairs is exhausted, there's always something new to find about chairs, about these fancy things you sit on everyday, every week, every month, every year! Aren't chairs amazing?!"
Spike tiptoed his way to the door. "Uh, I'll go call your friends. You need help."
Opened the door, out the bedroom, then zipped through the hallway.



At Sugarcube Corner, Mr. and Mrs. Cake served the line of ponies waiting for a cake or a pie.
Or a cakepie, which was a baked hybrid of a cake and a pie.
By one of the windows over there where the night sky could be seen with its moon and its stars shining upon Ponyville with their soft rays of light, Spike sat at a table with a dozen half-eaten plates of cake.
Along with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Starlight Glimmer.
"So, you're saying that Twilight's going crazy over chairs," Starlight said, "because she tried to cover up for your mistake months ago?"
Pinkie put on her detective cap. "But, the question is...does Twilight now like chairs more than books?! If the answer is yes, we're doomed!"
"Now, now," Rarity said, holding up a hoof to stop Pinkie, "let's try to think through this rationally. We know that she's crazy over chairs not because of what happened with Thorax. In other circumstances, she would just take a passing interest in chairs and leave it at that."
"It must've been a curse, then?" Applejack suggested.
"But, who would curse Twilight with a love for chairs?" Fluttershy asked.
Rarity nodded. "That is a point of consideration. It is both a smart and a dumb move—smart because it will damage Twilight over time if it doesn't stop, dumb because there are better ways of hindering her than...chairs."
"Chancellor Neighsay out for revenge!" Spike yelled.
"Why would he curse her with a chair spell?" Applejack asked, rubbing her chin. "I may not be an expert at unicorn magic, but that doesn't make any sense."
Starlight tilted her head a bit at Spike. "Did you make sure Twilight's not under a spell?"
Spike shrugged. "How am I supposed to know?"
She groaned and got out of her chair. "Then, why did you bring us here? We need all the information we can get, pronto!"
And all of them stood up and left Sugarcube Corner.



Doors lurched open.
Light upon the dark bedroom and its many chairs.
Twilight gasped, sitting on a plastic chair.
Seeing her friends.
"What are you doing, Spike?! Why did you bring them over?! I could get out of this any time I want to!"
"You won't," Starlight said, serious and glowing her horn. "At least, not on your own."
Shot a beam at her.
"No!"
Twilight hit.
Glowing blue.
The glow disappeared.
Starlight peered at her.
Recoiled. "What? Y-You're...you're not cursed at all?"
Pinkie grabbed Fluttershy. "So, she likes chairs?!"
"Wh-Why me...?" was Fluttershy's quiet and confused reply.
Twilight flew out of her chair, landed right in front of Starlight.
"No, I'm not cursed!" Twilight said. "I really do like chairs!"
Pinkie fainted and fell to the floor.
Rarity raised a brow at that, then propped her up.
Spike ran up to Twilight. "That means we need to get you to a doctor quick!"
"A doctor?!" Twilight shouted, seething. "It's just chairs, Spike!"
Then, she blinked.
Took a step back.
Looked at her friends.
"Oh, no...what have I become? A chair-loving Princess shirking her responsibilities because of the greatness of chairs?! No...no! It's the fall of friendship, it's the recline of friendship!"
Applejack looked at her odd. "Uh, don't you mean 'decline'?"
"See?!" Twilight yelled, pointing at the farmpony. "My mind is so consumed by chairs, I make chair puns without knowing it! I can't rest my head easy...ah, another chair pun!"
Pinkie giggled.
Everyone looked at her strange.
Pinkie stopped, then shrugged. "What? She's not the funniest one on the block, but, let me tell ya', she could stool the spotlight at the comedy club!"
Everyone proceeded to groan at that pun.
Spike held a claw up to his forehead. "Wait...Pinkie, that's a great idea!"
Pinkie tilted her head back. "No, silly! It's a great joke!"
Spike beckoned Twilight to come over.
Huddled everyone else together.
"Now, listen up..."



Inside the comedy club, every window was closed and every light was dimmed but one.
With tables all around, the audience sat on their chairs. Some stared impatiently at the stage illuminated by the bright spotlight, others talked to each other in hushed tones, whispering over scented candles that smelled like cedar.
Over there, near the stage but not exactly on front row seats, were the students themselves who were busy with their own hushed talk.
"I still can't believe they have clubs dedicated to comedy!" Silverstream managed to exclaim while keeping it down. "We have lots of jokes back at home, but I never thought you could have a whole building just for fun!"
"Yeah." Gallus wore a smile. "I wonder who the special guest is for the opening act, though."
"It's probably Pinkie Pie herself," Ocellus replied. "She's funny enough as our laughter teacher. She'll be in full form when she's in a place where laughter is its sole purpose."
"I agree," Sandbar added. "I've lived here for a long time and Pinkie never disappoints."
Yona closed her eyes and frowned. "Pinkie not disappoint yet."
Ocellus nodded. "But, if we set our expectations too high, she won't be disappointing us. We'll be disappointing ourselves."
"But, she's not just our laughter teacher," Smolder said. "She's the Element of Laughter herself. She should be...you know, the best at laughter. The best jokes, the best puns, the best comedy..."
Gallus shushed her, then pointed at the stage. "Quiet! It's starting!"
Everyone looked there.
On the stage, in the spotlight, before the microphone—this was none other than Pinkie Pie herself.
"Got it!" Ocellus whispered to herself.
Pinkie tapped on the microphone.
Deafening feedback.
All covering their ears.
"Whoops!" Pinkie grinned as she adjusted the microphone. "Sorry for the technical difficulty...but, hey, it wasn't that difficult to fix."
Chuckles and giggles from the audience.
"So, tonight, we're going to give you somepony different before we could get to yours truly! I'm terribly sorry that Meadow Song can't make it as emcee—he just got shot down by the flu and it'll take him days to recover. It's so bad, he couldn't even attend as one of you guys!"
A bit of silence.
"But, let's make it the best night we can for him—and, it's a Friday night, so..."
The crowd erupted into cheers and ovations.
Pinkie took a bow. Then, standing up and getting a hold of the microphone again: "Let's talk about the elephant in the room. You may be wondering who the special guest is tonight. Well, I'll tell you a few things about her. I want you to try and guess who she is!"
Ocellus's ears perked up. "We know she's female."
Pinkie paced around on the stage. "First of all...she's a Princess!"
And then, all eyes were on Twilight sitting with the rest of her friends at a table.
A table way at the back, close to the entrance doors.
Twilight replied to all of their looks with a nervous gulp.
"If you haven't been paying attention, class," Pinkie went on, "she's...uh, gone a little out of her mind lately when it comes to those furniture thingies..."
"Principal Twilight is the opening act?" Gallus blathered. "No offense, but...she's Twilight. This can't go right."
"Give her a chance, Gallus," Sandbar said over the table. "She's been best friends with Pinkie for a while. Maybe some of the fun rubbed off on her."
"You better hope it did, Sandbar."
Pinkie coughed.
All eyes were back on her.
"She needs no introduction! Mares and gentlestallions, get your hooves up for one of my best friends ever...Twilight Sparkle!"
Everypony gave her a round of applause, though several muttered to each other under their breath, giving her suspicious looks as Twilight went up the stage and was given the microphone.
Twilight made another gulp.
Levitated the microphone off of its stand.
Everyone watching her.
Under the spotlight.
Could feel the sweat going down her face.
Pinkie walked up to her, pulled an ear close to her mouth. Whispered:
"You're supposed to tell a joke, Twilight!"
Pinkie trotted away from the stage.
Twilight gulped again.
Looked at the audience before her.
And the chairs they sat on.
A sliver of a smile on her face.
"Uh...hi, everyone! Welcome to the show! I'm...quite honored to be here not as a Princess but as a...comedian."
Heard murmurs again among the audience, some faces turned away from her.
"So, why don't you...grab a seat and listen up? But, you know...you already grabbed seats..."
Silence.
Crickets chirping.
"Sorry!" a stallion cried out before he put his jars of crickets back inside his bag.
"That's alright," Twilight said.
Silence again.
Eyes on her.
She opened her mouth:
"So, one day, as I sat by the lake, I was reading this riveting book about furniture. It kept me on the edge of my seat!"
Silence.
She kept up the smile.
"It was also so funny, I nearly fell off my chair!"
Silence.
"Tough crowd, eh? Well, inside that book, there were a few concepts couched in complicated words...but, even I can't read a book forever so I had to armrest my eyes for a while. Then, Rainbow Dash came flying in the sky—she was so fast, I don't think anypony could chaise her down anytime soon. There's this pegasus who tried just that for a while—he's bean bagged down by it. Did I also tell you he's the best trumpeter in all of Equestria? That's why he always gets the principal seat at orchestras. I know they don't exactly play rock and roll in those places, but he...rocks. Oh, what about the perfect restaurant for chairs? I know what that's called: The Recliner Diner! My jokes may not be the funniest, but I hope they hit the benchmark for fun! I guess I already settee the mood a while back, but you can't fix this one that easy—you need a stool box for that! Also, is it me or is it getting a bit tight in here? Because I need some leg room—oh, do you want to ask me some questions? Do I feel like I'm on a hot seat. Forgive me, but I'm trying to do this by the seat of my pants—rest assured, Pinkie will take over soon and let you play musical chairs! I hope you're not too lazy or, hm, a couch potato—"
Was then thrown out by Pinkie, resulting in a crash.
Pinkie back on stage.
Looked at the audience eyeing the injured Twilight by the wall.
Pinkie grabbed the microphone which had returned to its stand.
"That...was a nice performance! Too bad you didn't hear the whole thing, but we're already running overtime with our opening act! Give me a moment to get my balloons and my cacao beans—I'll give all of you a sweet treat when I come back!"
With that, Pinkie ran out of the comedy club.
The audience talked anew, mumbling and murmuring about the royal comedian now being helped up by Rainbow and Applejack.
Gallus shrugged, wearing a self-assured smile. "Like I said, she's Twilight. Guess Pinkie's fun didn't rub off on her." He stared at Sandbar, as if expecting an answer out of him.
Sandbar laughed nervously. "Well, I can't always be right."
Ocellus giggled. "I usually don't do things like this, but...I have a joke."
Everyone else at the table bent their heads to her.
"It'd be bad to place Twilight in a business. Do you want to know why?"
"Why?" they all replied together.
"Because she would be the Chair of the Bored!"
And, the students laughed against the dim light of their table's candle.
Then, Yona coughed and took on a serious face. "Yak still best at jokes, but changeling good enough!"