The Downward Spiral
“Come on Fluttershy, you’ll love it!”
“I-I don’t know, Rainbow. How did you even start listening to them, anyway?”
“What? Oh, Gilda was into them back when we were at Flight Camp. Used to keep me awake all night with it.”
“And you didn’t develop a lifelong hatred of them as a result?”
“Nah, they’re pretty good, once you get into it.”
When Rainbow Dash had first knocked on her door that morning, Fluttershy – perhaps naively – had assumed she’d come invite her into town, or perhaps to go flying together. She only realised her mistake when Rainbow Dash had produced the stack of records from her saddlebag.
Fluttershy had never even heard of the band. Nine Inch Hooves? It sounded more like a beauty parlour.
Rainbow lifted the first album off the stack and set it gently down on the turntable. With similarly delicate movements, she lifted the needle over to the record.
Perhaps this won’t be too bad, Fluttershy thought to herself.
And then an awful howl of goth rage erupted from the turntable.
Rainbow Dash stared, transfixed, at Fluttershy throughout the first song, grinning the whole time. Coupled with the music, it began to make her a little unnerved. When the first song finally abated, Fluttershy took a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding. Celestia, that was harrowing.
“Well, what do you think? You loved it, right?” Rainbow asked.
“W-well, I-”
“See, what did I tell you, Flutters? This band is awesome!”
“They’re quite something,” was all Fluttershy could say, meekly.
“So... you want to hear some more, right?”
Fluttershy froze. Come on, assertive Fluttershy, she told herself. Just tell her ‘no’. Just tell her the truth, say that you didn’t enjoy it-
“Of course!”
Celestia damn it.
Rainbow grinned even wider and flew into the air. “I knew you’d love. I just knew it!” She landed again. “Right, you better get ready, because we’ve got at least ten more albums to get through!”
“T-ten?” Had she heard that right? “That’s... more than I was expecting.”
“I know! Awesome, isn’t it?”
Okay, Fluttershy told herself mentally, I have no problem with listening to a few albums, if it makes Rainbow happy. But I’ll have to make sure this doesn’t go any further.
A terrible screaming filled the air like a choking cloud of poisonous gas. Fluttershy grimaced and braced herself, feeling as though she was standing in the path of a typhoon.
“Thanks for coming along with me, Flutters!”
“I-it was... my pleasure, Rainbow.”
“When I heard Nine Inch Hooves were performing in Cloudsdale, I just had to see them! And now that you love them as much I do, I couldn’t just go without you, could I?”
“A-apparently not.”
Fluttershy hated this. The music was too loud, the room was too dark, and everypony was too pushy and energetic. Why couldn’t she be back in her cottage with her animals?
“You’re loving this, right?” Rainbow shouted at her. If you have to shout to be heard by the ponies right next to you, Fluttershy thought, that’s how you know it’s too loud. I have to be honest with her.
“Well, if I’m being honest, it’s not- not my... favourite music in the world, Rainbow,” she said.
“That’s excellent! I knew you’d have a great time.” Fluttershy nearly facehoofed: she couldn’t even hear her.
No, come on, Fluttershy, she told herself. You’ve got to make an effort, and then you’ll enjoy it. You just have to get into the right state of mind for this. But how?
Looking around, Fluttershy saw that, somehow, there was no queue for the toilets. That'll be perfect...
Rainbow was so engrossed in the music, she didn’t even notice when Fluttershy slipped away.
Coming out of the toilets, Fluttershy was no longer Fluttershy. She had become Fluttergoth, perfectly at home in the gloom and smoke of a Nine Inch Hooves concert. She hadn’t just put on her black dress, eyeliner and earrings – the forms and visages of goth – but she had also got herself into the right mindset by thinking of the saddest thing she could (which, in her case, was the time her pet hamster died when she was a filly). Walking out of the toilets, the room appeared at least a few shades darker to her.
But that wasn’t dark enough.
She trotted up to a young mare in a leather jacket, standing with a drink in her hoof. The mare turned, and looked at Fluttergoth’s outfit appreciatively. “Hey,” she said. “Are you a big fan?”
“Do you ever hear a foal laugh, and then suddenly remember that one day they’ll die?” Fluttergoth asked.
“What?” The mare seemed a little taken aback.
“Or do you ever look at them laugh, and realise you can see the outline of their skull under their skin?”
“You’re sick!” she said, shocked. “My sister just had a foal, and I could never think anything like that about him!”
“That poor foal’s life will be nothing but suffering, until death finally and inevitably cures its misery,” Fluttergoth replied without blinking. “Tell your sister that.”
The mare just stared at her, mouth slowly opening, for a few seconds, before turning and running out of the room. Huh. What was up with that poseur?
Fluttergoth walked over to the next pony she saw, a stallion standing on his own. “Oh, err, hey,” he said. “You look like a big fan.”
“Their music speaks the truth about the blasted void we all inhabit,” Fluttergoth affirmed.
“Err... right.” The stallion blinked before continuing. “I’m not hugely into them myself, but my girlfriend is, so...” He trailed off awkwardly when Fluttergoth didn’t say anything. “Love makes us do silly things,” he added with an affected laugh, to finish the sentence.
“Love, inevitably, is pain. It is as fickle and as transient as this flesh we all inhabit.”
“What?”
“If you think you love her and that it’s a good thing, you’ve deluded yourself.”
“N-no... I love her and she- she l-loves me.”
“It’s only going to fall apart and end in pain...”
“I think perhaps you should leave me alone now...” Tears were starting to well in the stallion’s eyes.
“Life is pain; love is pain; everything is pain. Admit it.”
He was silent for a few seconds, as the tears in his eyes continued to threaten to flow. Then he broke down. “It’s true!” he cried. “I’ve been worrying it isn’t working out; I mean, we have almost nothing at all in common. It’s just not worth it anymore!” He began to bawl on the floor, as Fluttergoth just eyed him stolidly.
“Hey!” shouted a mare, pushing out from the crowd. “Leave my boyfriend alone!” She ran over to his side, and began alternating between sympathetic looks at him and glaring daggers at Fluttergoth. “Halcyon, what’s wrong?” she asked. “What did she say to you?” Her boyfriend just ignored her and kept crying.
“Fluttershy, what’s going on?” called Rainbow, running from the crowd to stand next to the furious mare and the weeping stallion. “What happened?” she asked, to nopony in particular.
“Your friend here,” the mare spat contemptuously, “was harassing my boyfriend.”
Rainbow was shocked. “Fluttershy? What did you do?”
But Fluttergoth just shrugged. “I just told him the truth, about how black and agonising all our lives are.”
“What?” asked Rainbow.
“Hey, don’t hate me – hate the never-ending tide of pain that we call existence.”
“You think it’s okay to go around bullying ponies because you’re feeling down?” the mare yelled.
“Hey, perhaps if your boyfriend hadn’t been such a poseur and a wimp-”
“-Wimp?!”
Rainbow gave a forced laugh and stepped between the two mares. “Fluttershy, I think perhaps the music affected you more than I’d realised,” she said, trying to defuse the situation. “Come on, I think it would be best if I took you home.”
Stepping towards her, Rainbow went to put a hoof on Fluttergoth’s shoulder, and steer her rapidly towards the exit. Things looked like they might turn ugly. As soon as she made contact, however, she felt a sharp stinging sensation shoot up her leg, and she quickly recoiled.
“Ow – what was that?” she cried.
“Oh, sorry,” Fluttergoth said, some of her characteristic meekness returning for a moment. “I think you cut yourself on my edge.”
Not much later, Rainbow and Fluttergoth finally made it back to her cottage. As soon as she stepped through the door, Rainbow went and crashed onto the couch. She was exhausted.
“I really can’t take you anywhere, can I, Flutters?” she asked. “Still, at least it wasn’t as bad as that time Applejack took you and Zephyr to that country music festival..."
Fluttergoth just rolled her eyes as she fiddled with her outfit, trying to get it off. “You shouldn’t worry so much, Rainbow, about what poseurs think. Ninch Inch Hooves is truth, and people just don’t like the truth.”
“Flutters, what are you talking about? I only showed them to you for the first time a few days ago.”
Fluttergoth didn’t answer her, though. Finally managing to get the outfit off, she pulled it over her head and laid it over the back of the couch.
“I’m just shocked it affected you so much. I didn’t realise you were impressiona-” Rainbow stopped suddenly when she looked up at her friend.
Fluttershy’s whole demeanour had changed. The constant scowl she had worn for the last few hours was gone, replaced by her characteristic smile. Her hair was suddenly back in order, her makeup and earrings had gone, and her eyes seemed brighter. She looked... happy.
“Ah, it’s nice to get that off,” she said softly. “And I’m so sorry if I got a little carried away, Dashie. Thank you for inviting me, though.” Rainbow could only nod dumbly at the complete transformation that had occurred before her eyes.
“Now,” said Fluttershy sweetly, “would you like a cup of tea?”