> Rock and a Hard Stick
>  by An Intricate Disguise
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Animalistic Fornication
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes the world is drab, grey, dull, and lifeless. 

I'll walk with a bleary, drunken gait then, staggering about as if I'm lost for direction, without home, friend, or mate. My legs will carry me over the only thing I can trust, the hard ground, the thing anchoring me to this existence and preventing me from floating away—a huge ball of compressed minerals that nurtured and cared for me when I had little else, that demanded nothing of me but my presence. 

But I've found my home. I've found my friends, and I've found my mate. He's right beside me, staggering from side to side not from a lack of direction or in feeble protest to the malaise of our existence, but as a testament to how many cocktails we managed to quaff in the last two hours. Three glasses, to be precise. Three glasses between us. 

I stepped a quarter centimetre to the right of my usual hoof-placement, and Briar's eyes flashed with concern. "Are you alright, Maud?"

The world was spinning slightly, a swirling miasma of sound and colour as we approached the roof of our shared cavern. "Yes. Quite alright." A short glance to the right, and I saw the panic fade from his face. "I think I might have drank too much."

"I did warn you that we should stick to half-shots instead of singles," he reprimanded, his dreamy voice carried by the lilt of maybe half a decibel of sternness. I was too trashed to be specific at this point, but fuck, did he sound cute. 

"Well, you know what they say..." I trailed off, trying to remember just what it was that 'they' said. Somewhere in the distance, a geode sparkled, a silvery beacon to keep me trekking towards my home. Our home.

Briar looked unimpressed by that, and I worried that I might have irked him. "I actually don't know what they say. Your assumption that I do is not only misplaced but highly illogical. In addition, you failed to expand upon your statement and sufficiently elucidate me as to what it is that they do in fact say." He raised an eyebrow a fraction of an inch. "So, what is it?"

"..." Shit, what were we talking about, again? The only word that keeps coming to mind is tequila. Tequila and bed. Tequila, bed, and Briar. I really need to get used to alcohol. "...in for a penny, in for a bit?"

"Well that just rings to me as a non-sequitur." My boyfriend softly shook his head, disappointment etched on his face. "I have no clue whatsoever how that correlates with our previous discussion, nor what significance that idiomatic phrase has in this context. Furthermore—"

I was starting to see what Pinkie meant when she said that he could be a little insufferable at times. Hold on, was insufferable the right word? I stumbled a little, bumping flanks with him as we walked, my tail draping over his by instinct as he continued with his tirade. He would constantly speak his mind, telling me why I was wrong, challenging everything I said, firm and steadfast in his opinions throughout... "Sexy. You're sexy." That was the word I was looking for, and in my drunken state, I had said it aloud.

I must have been blushing like crazy, because I swear I felt the temperature of the cavern raise by a few decimal points. For the first time since I had met him, Mud Briar's voice caught in his throat. It was a quiet, fleeting thing, but it expressed vulnerability, showed me if only for a fraction of a second that my words had had a sudden and significant impact on him. He quickly recovered like the true stallion he was, though he continued to sway.

"Again, you're spouting nonsense! Don't try to derail our discussion with lecherous tangents, Maud. I've got your number, I know exactly what you're doing!"

As we finally reached home, I turned to face him, cocking my head and looking him from head to hoof. He no longer seemed fazed by my comment, but there was something there. A small beat to his steps that I hadn't witnessed before, something that spoke of intrigue and longing. His ears were more perked than usual, and there was the hint of a smile on his face, the kind of smile a stallion makes when they're given a compliment and they find it just, one that appeals to their ego. 

I met his smile with one of my own, determined to play out this little game, as rapidly as it was forming. "And just what am I doing?"

"You're attempting to distract me with an ad hominem!" he instantly replied, almost appearing flustered, as adorable as that was. 

My smile increased threefold at that, which meant it might have actually been visible. Bingo. "An ad hominem implies that I'm attacking your character. Does that mean that you find being called sexy an insult?" I switched my gaze to a more inquisitive one, narrowing my lids as green eyes met greener eyes. 

There might have been half a second of hesitation before he answered, which was just the time I needed to put the squeeze on him with a slightly heavier glare. "I mean, it's an abstract concept..." he waved his hoof, fishing for words as I drew closer, sizing him up. "It's hardly applicable to our previous discussion, and was completely left-field..."

Closer. I can almost smell the leafy scent of his coat by now, his mane tussling against the soft breeze that rolled in from the nearby skylight, his features bathed in moonlight. "Do you consider it insulting that I like the way you look? That I find it... arousing?"

And I did, I really fucking did. He was a beautiful hunk of a stallion and I'd wanted to be this close to him for days, weeks even. I'd had countless fantasies of us debating our way into bed, and it was beginning to look as if one of them would finally be fulfilled. I could have squee'd right there and then, if I'd ever made such a noise. I attempted to flutter my eyelashes at him, but I'm pretty sure it only equated to a long blink.

He was getting brave now, advancing on me with all of the curiosity of a—no, the ferocity of a predator. It wasn't his mien, but his movements, they were swifter than usual, more powerful too. He approached me unabashed, peering into my eyes from his position above me. Oh, how I loved his height, it only made me feel like more of a slutty little bitch when he towered over me like that. 

Eventually, he graced my ears with his response; the sound alone sent a tingle rushing through my body. "I... don't find it insulting. Not in the slightest." He seemed to consider his words for a good moment, then continued. "In fact, I find it rather endearing."

I didn't think a stallion was capable of turning me on with so few words, but gosh, was he skilled with his tongue. Skilled in other ways too, I hoped. A small twinge in my belly brought me back into the moment, and I felt a hunger washing over me as I took him in one more time, my eyes tracing the curves of his muscles as he breathed before me, even his natural stance a perfect pose for me to study and memorise. "Do you... think we could try something together?"

"Specify." he responded. 

So blunt, so simple, so unashamed of his mannerisms! I could feel myself growing slick just at the thought of the stallion standing before me. Still, if he was going to speak to me in such a manner, I could surely reciprocate. "Kiss me." I responded, my eyes wide as I considered and then easily managed to resist biting my lip.

"Kiss you?" His eyebrows were raised, but he made no other response. 

"Yes, kiss me. On the lips. Make it a good kiss."

He did as instructed. Dipping down, lowering himself, he brushed his lips against mine, their sweet, cherry-balm feeling a static current dancing across my senses with each minute motion of his mouth. He drew closer, our eyes closing in sequence as I felt my tail begin to tap against a nearby carbonate helictite, only exciting me further.

My muzzle brushed against his as he reached down, peppering my cheek with soft pecks and working his way back up to my lips, slowly parting them as he finally introduced his tongue to mine. I could barely take it, it was like a seismic shock was rocking through my body every time my tongue brushed against his, the sensation only complimented by the softness of his fur as I began to run a hoof through it, the soft huffs of appreciation he made into my mouth as we continued to make out, the way his lips caressed mine and brought me solitude, serenity, passion I'd yearned for since we first laid eyes on one another...

Our kiss broke like the fractures of my restraint as he pulled away, satisfaction painted across his lips along with a small hint of my saliva, which he greedily licked away as he opened his eyes, looking down on me once more. The once pleasant hum of alcohol in my body had been replaced by something more carnal, more wanting, and as the last remnants of that new feeling washed over me, fading into the ether of my memories, I knew that above all, I wanted more. 

Never in my life had I found something so perfect, so right, and I knew that I had to somehow express that. Lowering myself a little, wanting him to feel as if he was control, I put on my best attempt at bedroom eyes, ready to hit him with one of my most poetic lines, one that I had thought up especially for this occasion should it ever occur.

"That was a pleasant experience. Did you also like it?"

I delivered it without fault too, not even a stutter. He nodded, and for the first time in my life, we'd had an exchange where I'd spoken more than him! I felt so giddy, I could scream. "Woo." I cheered without restraint, expressing my happiness without care of consideration of Briar's position on the matter. All that I need to know was that he liked it, the rest would come naturally. 

"Would you like to come to the bed with me?" I asked, narrowing my eyes and trying to put a measure of growl into my tone. 

"That is why you invited me back here, isn't it?" Briar asked, still apparently a little perplexed by the whole experience.

Don't worry, sweetie. That's two of us. "Yes, but I thought we could..." Oh, screw it, subtle approach wasn't working. "I want to have intimate relations with you, Mud."

"You do?" Briar responded, his forehoof lightly tapping against the cave floor. "I thought we already had that, being boyfriend and girlfriend, and all. Why would you ask for something that we already share? That makes little sense, just as it didn't make sense for you to ask me whether I wanted to come to bed with you. I know you're paralytic right now, Maud, but I'm beginning to grow worri—"

"Goddamn it, I want you to fuck me."

"O-oh," he replied, stopping short, scratching his neck, seeming to lean forwards on his hooves. "As in the colloquial meaning of the term fuck?"

"As in I want you to take me over to that bed and put your penis inside me until we both climax."

"I see." Briar nodded, looking to her with his usual flat expression. That sexy, emotionless face. So handsome and mysterious, I could never read him, not for a second. "Right now?"

"Yes, right now." I began to walk over as I spoke, my tail softly swaying behind me. "Are you going to keep me waiting?"

"No, I don't intend to be tardy." Briar walked over too, coming to sit on the foot of the bed, but not before taking Boulder and turning him to face the wall like the considerate stallion he was. "Now, in the interest of foreknowledge, when you said that you wished for me to put my penis inside of you, to which hole were you referring?"

I hadn't thought of that. Did I want him to smash my tight little pussy with his thick cock, or to see him ram it half a foot into my ass? I wondered if I'd get a chance to take it in both, to feel his length inside of me from every position, every angle possible until he'd screwed me every way in the book and we'd invented a couple of new ways to boot. 

There was time for that later. Right now, I needed to get him warmed up. 

Now that he was sat before me, legs lightly spread, I could finally see the product of all of our filthy conversation. "First of all, my mouth," I answered. His cock seemed to twitch on instinct, still growing and thickening in place as I continued to advance on him, edging closer to his body with each deliberate step against the hard ground, my hooves clacking as I asserted my presence. Time to see if the random number generator that classified his genetics had been generous or stingy. 

I was so stunned by the sight of him at half-mast that my lips nearly parted. Definitely generous. Tackling a cock of that size was going to be interesting for me to say the least, overwhelming to put it lightly. I could imagine him splitting me in half with just a gentle push, let alone a hard thrust that would probably shatter my core at impact. To say I was exciting was an understatement, I was practically frothing at the mouth.

Well, if you considered producing a thin trail of saliva to drape over the head of his cock frothing, at least. I let my silky spit travel down onto his shaft, rubbing it in with a hoof as he let loose a soft groan, his body growing rigid and his hooves digging into the bed as his breath hitched, his chest softly rising and falling. I dribbled enough of my spittle to lather him up, his cock slippery to the touch and easy to play with, the firm and leathery feeling of his head offset by the smooth texture of his shaft and the powerful stiffness that ran underneath.

I looked up at him, my eyes shining with desire as I ran a hoof up and down his length, giving him a few short pumps as he rolled his head from one wither to the other, struggling to stay still for me. "You like that, don't you?"

"What gave it away?" he said between pants as I began to lick around his tip, my tongue leaving soft and barely noticeable taps against the underside of his head, my head sliding lower as I continued to bathe him in wetness. "Was it the raising of my breath, or the way my penis became fully erect, or perhaps my sudden inability to remain still?" 

I would have answered him, but I was too busy sliding down his shaft to greet his two impressive balls. They were large and musky and I had to resist the urge to bury my face in them, a resistance I was unable to maintain indefinitely. I nuzzled them softly, allowing my tongue to venture outside and give each of them a small lick, not wanting to totally lose control but happy to exercise my power for as long as I had it, to give my stallion all that he deserved as he laid back and hummed in delight, each moment of contact a fleeting moment of ecstasy that I allowed to coalesce and culminate into a tempest of satisfaction, evident from the kick of his hind leg to the flounce of his tail. 

"You've proven to be quite adept in foreplay, I have to commend you for your skill," he grunted, his hips slightly shifting as I continued to lick him for all he was worth and more, my tongue gliding over his most sensitive spots and eliciting louder and increasingly primal groans as I progressed all the way back to where I started, greeting his tip with a soft tip.

"Are... are you going to descend?"

With a small smirk, I pulled my bottom lip over the tip of his cock, grazing it ever so softly as I watched the thing pulsate, blood pumping through its hot surface as I brought my head lower, my tongue pressed down as I struggled to fit even his tip inside. He was so fucking big, and now that I was struggling to push him inside, I could finally feel first hoof just how hung he was. He shifted forwards a fragment, pushing his cock further into my mouth as I focussed on taking it all inside, on preventing myself from tearing up as he forced himself deeper into my maw.

He pressed his cock against the back of my throat, and I had to struggle not to pull away from the feeling. He didn't even bottom out from it; if my eyes were to be believed, there was still a fourth of his cock that I couldn't fit, no matter how I tried. Still, I was almost delirious at this point, so drunk on lust—or perhaps a small measure of tequila—that I could barely think, so I let my tongue do the thinking for me, my lips and my throat hugging and caressing him as I slowly began to pull my head back, my lips pulling over his medial ring as I swirled my tongue around, playing a short melody against his shaft.


He rewarded me with a light buck of his hips, and again my fortitude was tested as he pushed his cock deeper, his head tickling the back of my silky throat as I struggled to contain him, pulling back only to bob my head forwards and treat him to a blowjob befitting a pornstar, my time practicing with the most cylindrical of stalagmites paying off as I pushed forwards against his hips, allowing him to thrust into my waiting mouth as his balls slapped against my chin, a soft moan running through my throat and vibrating onto the end of his cock as my cheeks bulged. 

"This level of pleasure is unprecedented..." he shuddered, throat-fucking me faster with each passing second, his eyes scrunching shut as I struggled to catch my breath...

Until he tore away, leaving me desperate and unfulfilled. I was confused, I was worried, I was a little drunk. I wanted to cry right then. Something I'd been craving for weeks was right in front of me, I finally had it, and then it was taken away. Why?

"Why did you stop?" I asked after a couple of pants, my frown a little frownier than usual. "Were you not enjoying it?"

"N-no," he gasped as he struggled to regain his breath, his cock leaking precum. "I was enjoying it immensely, you truly are a master in the art of fellatio. However..."

"However?" I stood there for what felt like a minute, eventually beginning to wonder what was taking him so fucking long. Had I done something wrong? Did he not want to have sex with me? Was he having second thoughts? Did he think it was okay to just stop halfway through foreplay and sit there in total silence while I stood here like a fucking ornament? What the fuck was wrong with him?!

My frown lowered by another degree, but it was still barely an obtuse angle. 

Finally, the bastard spoke. "I was trying to decide whether to say that 'I thought you deserved to be screwed now' or whether to ask if you 'wished to engage in full intercourse'."

...I love him. I absolutely love him with every fibre of my being. He's the sweetest and most considerate oddball I've ever met and I wish I'd never questioned him.

"Either is fine," I stated, that millimetre of frown already history.

"No, either isn't fine, because one connotes dominance and superiority as well as the indication that we are a couple that exchange sex as 'favours', while the other is far more cordial and safe but not necessarily as sexy. Moreover, the implications of the first phrase—

Have you ever shut your boyfriend up with a kiss? I just did, pushing him onto the bed as I lined him up with my pussy, gently grinding and rubbing myself over him as I nipped at his ear with my teeth, pulling him into a tight embrace as I pushed myself down. The tip of his cock began to push my lips apart as I shuddered at the feeling, my entire body jolting as I slowly, gingerly lowered myself onto his length, feeling him fill me and tightening my walls around him as he stayed perfectly still, teasing me with his lack of motion.

"Are you not going to gyrate?" I asked, watching him chew at his lip as I pulled my head back.

"I need a moment, else I'm afraid I might culminate prematurely."

At least he was honest, even if said honesty only made me want to test him. Pushing myself up with my forelegs on his chest, I began to softly push my hips forwards, feeling his length sliding inside me and tantalising my insides with teasing, torturous touches that teetered on the edge of being truly euphoric. I pushed back down, his cock spearing me as I began to rock back and forth, feeling his impressive length fill me with every short motion.

His breath became more laboured as I bounced my ass against his cock, his hooves reaching up and around me, pulling me down as he gave in to wanton desire, slamming into me with all of his strength, all of his conviction, his pent up need translating into a hypnotising and mind-shattering show of prowess as he rocked my world. "Oh. Oh yes." I moaned, my pussy was on fire as I reached down with a hoof to rub at my clit, hoping to douse the feeling before it engulfed me completely.

It only added to the flames; I should have known better, but I persisted anyway, rubbing around my little nub as I was filled with cock, Briar's legs tensing as he continued to slam into me, causing me to moan out like a little harlot. "Yes. Right there."

I was approaching the edge already, after all this time, all of the waiting and wanting, I was feeling the familiar rush inside of me, the electrodes dancing across my body and the heat rising in my belly as I clenched around his cock hard, hugging him with my walls and attempting to milk every last drop of him. "I think I'm getting close."

"Close—ohgosh—to what?" he returned as he thrust against my g-spot, sending me into overdrive. My hoof moved in a frantic, frenzied motion, circling my clit with spastic motions as I desperately attempted to maintain my ministrations, to keep myself moving closer and closer to the edge of the release I so desperately needed.

"Close to cumming," I explained as I lifted myself high until only the tip of his cock was inside me and pushed myself down hard, allowing him to fill me completely as I felt the plethora of sensations threatening to engulf me. I was so fucking close.

"T-technically, you aren't cumming," he returned, his tone becoming scholarly as he began to fuck me harder, putting his all into it as he squeezed against my sides, forcing me to remain in place. "Y-you'll find that the term you're looking for is actually—mmf—the e-e-expulsion of cervical fluid..."

"Oh my..." He lifted me up, ramming his cock further and further inside me, pressing against my belly as with one final flick, I sent my body into overdrive. "I'm about to expel my cervical fluid all over your sphincter." 

"Oh, you are a dirty minx—at least, in the figurative sense," another thrust, another groan, "In actuality, you're an earth pony, as am I. As we both are. Together... I-I'm quite happy to be able to say tha—oh dear."

I felt a warm splash against my insides as he let out a small shout, promptly sneezing afterwards and vigourously shaking his head to clear away the vertigo of the dual sensations. 

Well, that was quite the letdown. I was so fucking close.

I laid down next to Briar, already feeling the peak of my orgasm slipping away, never truly fulfilled. It upset me a little, in all honesty, but I was glad that he was able to enjoy himself. As I looked at him, he said little, his eyes boring into me as he laid there but seemingly vacant beneath the surface all the same.

I wonder if he understood me. I wonder if he knew how I felt right then, if he felt guilty for it. I wonder if he realised that I had paid attention to his last words, his pre-ejaculate rambles. He was happy to say we were together. 

Maybe that wasn't entirely what he meant, but I'd be damned if that wasn't what I was going to take from it. 

"Maud?"

I wasn't afraid to admit that my heart leapt when he said my name. "Yes, Mud?"

"I think we've been spending a little too much time around your sister. It's affecting our behaviour."

It made me sad that he considered it a bad thing, even if it was true. "Agreed. Are you saying we should see her less?" 

"On the contrary," he smiled, kissing her on the snout and cuddling up to her, nestling his head between the crook of her neck and her withers. "I think we should see much more of her."

He'd managed to fill me with warmth in two different ways in the space of two minutes. How could I not adore him? "I... like you very much, Mud Briar."

"I'm also fond of you, Maud Pie."

I'd finish myself off later. Right now, I had my Briar, I had my home, I had my everything.

Drab, grey, dull, and full of life.