Grogar has returned, Equestria unable to stand up to forces and Necromancy. But that dark magic may also be his end, as it also brought back one who can beat him.
(Takes place mid-season 7. Ignores MediEvil 2) (Gore tag for what naturally comes with fighting undead)
Equestria is in peril. Grogar, the Lord of Tambelon has returned, his armies of demons and undead having proven too much for Equestria, and his tactics able to cripple them before they could mount a proper defense. Celestia and Luna have been captured, and even Discord has been brought down. Pockets of defense stand, but all hope seems lost against the Goat Lord and his overwhelming Necromantic powers.
But those powers may also be his undoing, as they've inadvertently resurrected an ancient warrior who's more than familiar with battling the undead... and being one. Now if only he could mumble something out that everypony could understand...
Long ago in the land of Equestria, about one thousand years ago (the same length of time that it seems just about everything important happens) there was a goat by the name of Grogar. He was quite the fearsome fellow, what with his large curling horns, his deep red eyes, and his perfectly practiced evil laugh, not to mention that immaculately trimmed goatee.
Grogar, like so many other “Masters of Darkness” sought out more power, and more to subjugate that power with. He also wasn’t particularly fond of things that most ponies tended to enjoy, like sunsets, rainbows, or even dolphins. No, not even kittens and puppies were safe from his ire, but one thing he particularly disliked was friendship. Oh the mere word could cause his blood pressure to spike, though he did take classes for that, better to be safe and all.
Anyway, this hatred of friendship wasn’t particularly fortunate for the newly established country of Equestria, what with them not only using friendship to end the bitter fighting between the earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns but also saving their very lives from the Wendigo menace. In addition, they were a new nation, ready to be subjugated. It really was just the perfect storm of incentives for Grogar to attack.
However, the ponies were not helpless. A battalion of the newly formed Equestria’s finest, led by Commander Hurricane and Clover the Clever confronted the Dark Lord and pushed back his armies of undead and demons, the two leaders managing to cut a swath all the way to Grogar himself. And though they both suffered mortal wounds, and the rest of their army perished, the ponies did manage to deal a crippling blow to the fearsome Dark Lord. However, before reinforcements could arrive he used the last of his dark energies to seal himself and the land he had claimed, which he had named Tambelon, into another realm.
Songs were written about the brave ponies who gave their lives to defend their fledgling nation, and a few fans with unhealthy obsessions even wrote of Commander Hurricane and Clover the Clever tearfully confessing their loves to one another in their final moments, proving that shipping is not a new thing. Peace was to come to Equestria, aside from the few other threats that came that needed to be dealt with, and it remained that way for one thousand years when it was ended by… well, all of the things that have happened recently, but also by the Dark Lord’s return...
Grogar observed his latest conquest, looking out from one of the many balconies of Canterlot Palace over the city below, his demons and the now soulless and hypnotized citizens patrolling the streets. He looked up and saw the blackened sky, a night with no stars and only the faintest light of the moon illuminating the land through the clouds. The Princesses of the Sun and Moon were his prisoners, as was the Spirit of Chaos, his armies of demons roamed the land weeding out any resistance, and all of this accomplished in only a day with one swift, decisive strike. Equestria would soon be his, and the other nations would follow. At least, that was what he hoped…
The Lord of Tambelon was nervous. Not overly so, he was still very much in control, but there had been far too much that he had to gamble, and far too many loose ends for his liking. After his defeat and retreat so long ago he kept close watch over Equestria’s development, of its two fledgling “alicorns” Celestia and Luna. He saw them bring the Crystal Empire into Equestria’s mold, and its subsequent banishment due to King Sombra. He saw the two sisters use the Elements of Harmony and seal away Discord, the defeat of Tirek with Scorpan turning against him, and the banishment of Nightmare Moon. He would’ve loved to have attacked then, when Celestia was at her frailest emotionally, but alas he didn’t have the power to defeat her then. He bided his time, watching Celestia put up her Princessly front and attempting to spread as much Harmony and… friendship as possible. After centuries of recovering his own power, healing his wounds, and gathering his forces, he was finally ready to strike, knowing exactly how to cripple both Celestia and Equestria.
And then came the ascension. Another alicorn, not born but transformed. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, springing up seemingly out of nowhere. Her power threw off his plans, and so he waited again. And just when it seemed he’d finally been sure that the threat she posed was insignificant compared to Celestia there was that flash of rainbow magic in the sky, along with the spike of magical power coming from Canterlot, both phenomena from fillies no less. And so he bided more time, plotted again. And then there was the revival of the Elements of Harmony, and the return and purification of Princess Luna. Sure there were other threats like Discord, the Changelings, Sombra, Tirek, and even Starlight Glimmer, but each of those only served to make Equestria stronger. Twilight Sparkle’s ascension, recruiting Discord, the return of the Crystal Empire, the power unleashed by the Tree of Harmony along with the castle it created and the quests it gave, Starlight Glimmer becoming Twilight’s student, the Changelings reforming, even the birth of a new alicorn. It was too much too fast, and Grogar feared he had been too patient. And worse, they were managing to strengthen their alliances with other nations. What would happen if he did not intervene? Would they gain their own versions of the Elements of Harmony? How long would he have to wait before the world was weak and ready for the taking? Another thousand years? Five thousand? One hundred thousand? No, this would have to be settled now or he might never get a chance. So with an intricate plan, and a large gamble, he attacked. It was a plan that would easily cripple Equestria, and leave the other nations open to attack, but it hinged on so many things he had little control over going the way he wanted. But as far as he was concerned the time for waiting was over.
He first let some of his power seep in through the barrier between their realms, giving Princess Celestia a premonition of his return, just as Tirek had done before. Concerned, she called together the Element Bearers and Discord to Canterlot as he had hoped, and Twilight’s student and pet dragon had come along for the ride. As soon as they arrived he used his powers to absorb the souls of all the ponies in Canterlot and commanded them to attack the Princesses, knowing they could never truly harm their subjects. While they were distracted he entered their realm and struck Discord with the most powerful spell at his disposal, severely wounding the draconequus before casting spell to put him into a slumber. Grogar then absorbed as much of his power as he could before heading to confront Celestia and Luna, the extra power giving him enough strength to overpower them. He then commanded his demon army to cross the border into Canterlot, sending the Princesses and Discord to be imprisoned so that he could continue to absorb their powers and then casting his own spell to blot out the sky, offering his light-weak demons protection. Overall the plan had gone off without a hitch, but there were still some concerning loose ends.
For one the six Element Bearers were immune to the soul stealing spell, as he anticipated they might be, but more surprising was that Starlight Glimmer and the dragon were immune as well. Perhaps an unexpected effect of spending so much time with them? Regardless, reasons were irrelevant, the important part was that they had all escaped on the train back to Ponyville. Would they risk taking the Elements from the Tree of Harmony to use against him? Would they contact the other nations to recruit their help? He pondered what to do next as he turned back inside. Celestia, Luna, and Discord were all imprisoned, he would keep them alive as long as possible to continue absorbing their magic, both to empower himself and keep them weak, until he found a way to make the transfer of power permanent. Next he would use his necromancy to resurrect an army of the undead to do his bidding, but that presented its own problem. The deceased in Canterlot were not that great a number, and they were a stupid lot useful for little else than overwhelming the enemy with sheer numbers, with some rare exceptions.
He pondered this for moment and decided that he would use as much power as he could to increase the range of the spell to all of Mt. Canter and the surrounding area near its base. Such a large use of magic would leave him drained, but he need not fear retaliation at the moment and could rest while he sent his armies out to do his bidding. Should he send them to try and destroy the Tree of Harmony? Perhaps to Ponyville to capture the Element Bearers? Maybe he should instead cut Equestria off from its allies before going in for the final blow. Griffonstone would be the weakest, having lost their power and pride long ago.
After some thought he decided that the Element Beares were too much of a threat to ignore, so he would send them to attack Ponyville first. He made his way through the castle and outside before taking a breath to steady himself. The bell around his neck rang as he summoned his power, his body crackling with green energy as he hovered over the ground. He then slammed his hooves into the ground, sending the power down over the whole mountain, raising his army.
And unknowingly sealing his own doom…
Deep beneath Mt. Canter, in the long abandoned mines under Canterlot, there sat a tomb. A tomb that nopony ever found, that nopony ever knew was there, that existed long before there was anypony. The final resting place, and memorial of a hero revered through story and song for his brave deeds. Sealed away from the elements for countless millennia his remains lay, still dressed in the armor he wore in his long-revered moment of glory. Time had done away with his flesh and all that lay were bones. A shot of green energy struck the body, causing it to convulse like it was being electrocuted, before he went limp again. After a moment his right eye reappeared, the only one he still had left. It took him a few moments to realize that something was amiss as he raised his hand in front of his face. Then he uttered the first words spoken by him in thousands of years.
Dan sighed as he shifted himself into a sitting position, wondering just why and how he was back this time. The great Hero of Gallowmere was a little annoyed that he had been taken from his eternal rest, not to mention the Hall of Heroes. After all he’d earned his due, as far as he was concerned, living up to the legend King Peregrine and the people had built around him. Although it was nice to get away from Imanzi for a little while. He knew he should be thankful that any woman could like him just as a skeleton, especially one as attractive as her, she just came on a little too strong for his tastes.
He hopped onto his feet, his armor clanking as he walked towards the entrance of his crypt, encountering the same two gargoyle heads that he had last time. As he expected both their eyes glowed yellow and one of them spoke up.
“Well, well, well… Sir Daniel Fortesque, the great Hero of Gallowmere, risen once again after being reduced to a forgotten dusty old relic. I’m afraid that if you’re hoping to coast on your old accomplishments you won’t get far. It’s a brand new world out there, but with the same old problems,” the first gargoyle snarked, though with notably less harshness than the first time.
“Hanks fer nah cahlig me ‘ih’ his hime,” Dan replied, folding his arms and rolling his eye. (Thanks for not calling me "it" this time)
“Now now, leave him alone,” the other gargoyle said. “He’s already proven himself once before, though considering that blot on his record he better damn well should’ve. Now Dan, we’ve got another sorcerer up to some necromantic shenanigans again, but this one’s far worse than Zarok could ever hope to be. Best arm yourself with whatever you can scrounge up, and head on out. You’ve got a long trek if you even hope to breathe a little fresh air. And you’d better step on it, everypony is counting on you.”
“‘Erykony?’” he asked, scratching his skull in confusion.
The first gargoyle chuckled. “You’ll see. Now hurry along Fortesque. And keep your eye out for our more equine counterparts, will you? You’re not going to be getting much assistance otherwise.”
Seeing he wasn’t going to get much else in explanations Dan headed to the armory in the front of his main chamber to gear up, smirking at how much better prepared he’d be this time. He immediately went to Dirk Steadfast’s magic broadsword, it’s blade glowing with a blue hue. It was one of the best things he had received from the Hall of Heroes, not only because it was one of the most powerful weapons but also because it meant he didn’t have to rely on Woden’s broadsword anymore. The less he needed to thank that arrogant jerk the better. He took the sword and scabbard, sheathing the blade and tying them to his waist before moving to Karl Sturnguard’s Magic shield, shining gold with the half and half skull insignia of Gallowmere on it. It had saved his unlife plenty of times and he expected it to do so again.
When he reached down to grab the next item something fell out of his eyes socket, catching his attention. He picked it up gently and held it up to his face, a single earthworm squirming. “Wahl hewo. An hoo ahr oo?” he asked as he gently set it down in his other open palm. The worm just looked back at him. “No naym, huh? Hah abah ‘Mahten’? Do oo lyke at?” The worm nodded back. “Arite. Oo kahn stay here den,” he said before letting the creature crawl back into his eye socket. (Well hello? And who are you?)(No name, huh? How about "Morten"? Do you like that?) (Alright. You can stay here then.)
With his new travelling companion secure he continued to stock himself up, grabbing Bloodmonath’s Axe. Honestly it was never his favorite, but it was nice to have for how it always came back after he threw it. No one ever expected the return trip and it had cleaved many an enemy in twain. He stored it in that place where all items seemed to go when he wasn't currently using them, the weapon disappearing from sight. He never really understood that part but also wasn’t one to really question something that helped him, figuring it was just something that all heroes got and never really thought to mention. Also, whenever he did think about it, the color green came to mind for some reason. Next was Stayner’s warhammer, by far one of the most useful things he’d ever been given, he was always surprised at how light it felt compared to the damage it dealt. Something told him he’d be needing it soon.
Next was Canny Tim’s most trusted and reliable cross - Oh, no, actually the string broke as soon as he grabbed it. Also, it looked like the mechanism had rusted into place. Such a shame too. Well there was always Ravenhooves’ longbo - Nope, that broke too. Looks like anything that relied on more than just being sharp or heavy didn’t survive the stay. Dan worried that might mean he’d have to reimburse the two somehow until he remembered that they all had their weapons back in the Hall of Heroes despite them also apparently sitting here for who knows how long as well.
He skipped over Imanzi’s spear, it reminded him too much of her unending advances.
The last thing that was left was the Dragon’s Potion, but that unfortunately didn’t seem to be doing too well either, having lost it’s green shimmer. He uncorked the top but all that came out was a sickly black liquid. He didn’t want to take his chances seeing if it worked, but he figured he might as well take it anyway. With luck he’d meet a witch that could fix it, or something. The last thing he stocked up on was his many life bottles, which of course now were all dry and empty. Still, his past experiences had taught him to be prepared.
And of course, he’d used up all of the lightning bolts that Megwynne had lent him. If he knew he’d be on another quest he would’ve asked for more before he got resurrected.
“Ohay Mahten, rerry ho go ahn an advenhure?” he asked? The earthworm poked itself out far enough for him to see it nod. With a skip in his step, and a clank in his armor, he headed for the entrance of his crypt, taking a few heroic strides before stepping on something and tripping, falling flat on his face… skull… skull face. He growled, turning to see what had tripped him up before noticing the golden shine and unmistakable handle of a Chalice of Souls. Without another word, nor any animosity, he picked it up and stored it away in his “Hero’s Pocket” before resuming his stride, paying more attention to the floor this time. (Okay Morten, ready to go on an adventure?)
He approached the front of his crypt, sealed off by a pile of collapsed stones. He drew the warhammer and with one - I mean two - three, with three mighty swings the stones were cleared to reveal… darkness. Pitch black darkness only illuminated by the many wall torches that still somehow burned in his crypt.
“Hewo?” he called, getting an echo back. Realizing that he wasn’t out of the underground yet, and likely wouldn’t be for a while, he pulled a torch off the wall and headed into the darkness.
Dan knew he should hurry, but he couldn’t help but marvel at the surroundings he had seen. It may have been cramped, but the crystalline walls sparkled and glimmered with a beauty he had not seen since the Crystal Caves back in Gallowmere. Back then he had been forced to take on several demons, but here he actually had a chance to enjoy the scenery. After what felt likes hours of trudging through the twists and turns Dan came across one of the first welcomed sights in the cave: a minecart track. That meant someone had been this way before, and that meant he now had a heading on how to leave. He followed the path, excitedly jogging in the direction of what he hoped was the way out. After a few minutes, however, he screeched to a halt as he stopped in front of a massive crevasse, unable to see the bottom. The mine tracks led over it, wooden supports built to keep it up, continuing further on than he could see even with the assistance of the torch. The wood looked ancient and rotted, and he didn't want to take his chances at just trying to walk across.
Slightly disheartened, Dan turned back but an idea came to him. He hurriedly ran back the way he came, following the track and as he hoped, located an old push cart. He he got on and steadied himself before pumping the lever as hard as he could. He kept this up, gaining as much speed as possible as he raced back towards the gorge. By the time he reached the suspended track the surroundings were speeding by in a blur and the cart sped along the bridge, barely staying on the tracks. Not that it mattered, as it collapsed almost as soon as weight was applied to it, but not so quickly that the cart didn’t make it across first. Dan cheered in triumph, only for him to not notice the end of the track coming up, hitting the stopping block and sent careering forwards. The great Hero of Gallowmere screamed like a little girl as he flew through the air before bouncing off the ground several times, then rolling forwards and falling over the edge of a drop, landing flat on the ground below.
Dan groaned in pain and annoyance as he pushed himself up to his feet, dusting his armor off before continuing on. As he kept walking he noticed that certain paths seemed more smoothed out and less like the crystals had grown whatever way they wished, likely a sign of them being harvested more. With this in mind he followed whichever path looked the smoothest, often following more mine tracks as he did. After a while he began to hear something, the sound of a “clip-clop” against stone. He carefully approached the direction it was coming from, turning the corner to find… a pony. Dan rubbed his eye for a moment, wondering if it was playing tricks on him, and he confirmed that he was indeed looking at a pony. Or, at least, most of one. Part of its face was missing, as was the flesh on its left hind leg and around the stomach, exposing the bone underneath. It also wore a miner’s helmet and a leather vest. The undead equine stopped and then turned to face Dan, staring at him with its blank gaze. Dan stared back and for several seconds an awkward and uncomfortable silence hung in the air, much like when you try to talk to a relative you’ve never seen before at a family reunion.
“Um… hewo?” he said cautiously, waving his hand in greeting. The zompony continued to stare for a few more uncomfortable seconds before turning to trot the way it was going. Curious, Dan followed the creature. It wasn’t long until another joined, also seeming to ignore him and following the same direction. The further he continued the more showed up and within minutes he was being funneled down a path by the moving tide of undead flesh. He noticed that some of them had horns, while others had wings, and some neither. Soon enough they emerged inside a large city, with towering white marble structures and enough gold to fill a king’s treasury. It would likely have been a treat for the eye if the sky hadn’t been blotted out by some kind of smog.
“Hey! Hey you! Over here, you bag of bones!”
Dan turned to see a statue of a pony rearing up on its hind legs some distance away, its eyes glowing a familiar yellow hue. Dane carefully forced his way through the crowd of still moving undead before making it over to the statue. “So, you’re Sir Dan, is it? Heard about you from the old guys downstairs, said you’re the ‘hero’ we should be expecting. Honestly, you don’t look like much to me, but it’s not often the geezers put in a good word for anypony.”
“Wak ih, oo,” Dan warned, huffing as he folded his arms. (Watch it, you.)
“Well, I suppose you’re what we’ve got now, so I’ll do what I can to bring you up to speed. You’re in the land of Equestria now, in the capital city of Canterlot on the side of Mt. Canter. Apologies for the mess, we’re currently under new management and the old goat likes things dark and foreboding. See that castle over there?” Dan turned to see a large collection of spires and walls that stood out more than the rest. “That’s Canterlot Palace, where Princess Celestia and Princess Luna live. They’re the top mares of this country, although they’re a bit, heh… deposed at the moment.”
“Ery hunny.”
“That’s also where Lord Grogar, the sorcerer that’s responsible for this mess, is staying at the moment. He’s a goat you don’t want to tangle with, and you’re in luck since the spell he cast that brought back your skinny self and the walking meatbags behind you took it out of him, so it should give you the chance you need. Don’t think of taking him on though, you’re not ready no matter how much you think you are. Just find the Princesses and have them give you an idea of what to do next, but be careful because the cityfolk have been made into his servants as well. Not to mention the demons he brought along, and they’re not as stupid as the lot behind you. Do your best to look inconspicuous and then find a way in. Don’t know how you’ll pull that off, though it’ll certainly be funny watching you fail.”
“Hank oo hor ha ringing enhorsement,” Dan rolled his eye. (Thank you for the ringing endorsement.)
“Right then, off you go. And at least try to make your screw up entertaining,” the statue finished before the lights faded from its eyes.
Dan didn’t see any demons or hypnotized ponies yet, so he took some time to think how he might be able to sneak around without much trouble. After a few moments, he came up with a foolproof plan.
“... Eh up, spot that?” one of the demons asked the other demon looking over the crowd of undead. (Good sir, do you see what I do?)
“Wich one isit? The bloomin’ skeleton?” the other asked. (Which one? Do you mean the skeleton perchance?)
“‘Wich one’, o’course the skeleton! Struth!” the other snarked back. ("Which one?" Why of course I am referring to the skeleton!)
“Yeah, right, wot about it?” (Indeed I do. What exactly are you remarking upon?)
“Just ‘ave a look at ‘im.” (Well, just observe the fellow)
Dan held his arms out in front of him, walking in stilted motions and moaning loudly.
“Bit dramatic, right, ain’t ‘e?” (Quite the one for dramatics, wouldn't you say?)
“Yeah, right he is. Real sad, ‘ave at a look at ‘im tryin’ so ‘ard ter fit in,” the other agreed. (I must agree. It is quite disheartening, just look how much effort he puts in to conforming.)
“Can yer blame ‘im then, eh squire? He’s the only one in the bleedin’ crowd that ‘ave a looks like that.” (Well can you blame the poor chap? He is the only one amongst the group that bears such an appearance.)
“Such a shame, do wot guvnor. He’s not gonna last long.” (It is quite a shame. I don't believe he will be present for long.)
Dan kept up his immaculate disguise as he headed towards Canterlot Palace, thankfully with no one really giving him any trouble as the zombie ponies just seemed to be meandering about and the hypnotized citizens didn’t really bother him either. He did take a moment to notice the wide range of colors they came in, and they all seemed to be well dressed with jewelry and clothing, making them look like nobles, although the didn’t real wear anything on the bottoms. That fact also meant he was able to see those strange marks on their flanks, all of which seemed personalized to them. Some looked similar, sure, but none were identical. After more walking he saw the entrance of the palace coming into view, the entrance guarded by two demons. They were completely black, with skin like leather, wiry hair, and bull like horns. Their eyes were completely white, their teeth were sharp and had a pair of long canines on their bottom that stretched up past their lips. They were dressed in heavy full plate armor, an even darker black in color, but without helmets, and both of them held polearms.
“Eh up, put the mockers on! Struth! Where do yer fink yor gahn?” one of the called out to him, both of them crossing their weapons to cut off the path to the main gate. (Halt, sir! And may I ask to whence do you believe you are heading to?)
Thinking quickly Dan ignored them and continued to moan before smacking his skull into the door. He recoiled back a bit before walking into it again. He did this one more time before one the demons sighed and grabbed him by the shoulder. It then turned him around and pushed him in the opposite direction.
“Poor stewpid fin’,” the demon said, shaking its head in pity. (What a poor misfortunate creature.)
“Sad, ain’t it?” the other agreed. (Quite pitiable, is it not?)
Dan quietly sighed in relief, keeping up his mindless undead routine as he shabled around the side of the palace, looking for another way in. After a few minutes of walking around he noticed smoke coming from one part of the palace, and as he approached he heard what sounded like the clank of pots and pans. Deciding it was as good an entry point as any, he checked to make sure that no one was watching before pulling his skull off his neck and tossing it up, high enough to see inside. He caught a glance of a few possessed ponies inside, nothing to be too worried about… he hoped. He caught his skull on the way down, checking if Morten was alright before gathering himself. He took a running start, managing to get a few steps up the wall before leaping up as high as he could, his bony fingers barely managing to latch onto the windowsill. With a heft of his non-existent muscles managed to swing himself into the kitchen, crashing into the post and pans below. It was only after he got up and dusted himself off that he realized he didn’t have a plan for dealing with the hypnotized ponies inside as they all started at him.
“Uh… Ward Gogah haid at all ah oo ahr huppoe ho, uh, gader in ha cahtyah hor beifing,” he mumbled. (Uh… Lord Grogar said that all of you are supposed to, uh, gather in the courtyard for briefing.)
All of them just continued to stare at him with their blank eyes. “GO OUTHIDE!” he shouted, pointing out the door, all of them following his orders. (GO OUTSIDE!)
Dan sighed. “Ah hink Ah handled hat wehl, wite Mahten?” he asked. The worm stuck itself out o his eyes socket and just stared at him for a few seconds before going back inside. “Don’t oo hass me.” Dan huffed before looking around, noticing the bowls of slop that had been placed on some plates resting on a serving cart. He thought about this for a moment when he saw what would be the perfect inconspicuous disguise. (I think I handled that well, right Morten?)(Don’t you sass me.)
Two of the demons were sitting by their posts, playing cards with each other. One of them noticed something out of his peripheral vision and looked down the halls, watching something pass by. “Eh up, did yer spot that?” One of them asked. (Good sir, did you happen see what I did?)
“Yer mean the skeleton wearin’ the apron and toque over ‘is armor, isit? Yup,” the other one replied not looking up from his cards. (You are referring the skeleton wearing an apron and toque over his armor? I did indeed.)
“Might cornspicuous, doesn’t yo reckon?” (Rather conspicuous, don’t you agree?)
“Yup.” (I agree.)
“Want ter do sumfink ‘bout it?” (Do you reckon we should do something?)
“Nope.” (I’d rather not.)
“Me neifer. Right, wotcher have?” (Neither do I. Very well, what hand do you have?)
“Straight flush ter Jack,” he replied, showing off his cards. “And yer?” (Straight flush to the Jack.) (And you?)
“Straight flush ter Queen,” the other replied, showing off his hand. (Straight flush to the Queen.)
“Damn it ter Tartarus.” (I am quite displeased with this turn of events.)
Dan hummed as he pushed the hot bowls of food along, doing his best to look like he knew where he was going. If only he did, then maybe he wouldn’t have been so nervous. But don’t worry, I’m sure something will pop up to- oh, there it is.
Dan stopped when he heard two doors slam open, making sure he was hiding behind on of the walls before taking a peak around the side. What he saw was a goat with dark blue fur, black horns, and red eyes. He appeared to have a goatee, and his bottom canines came up past his lips. He wore a black cloak over his body and around his barrel was a small silver bell held by a gold strap with red jewels. The goat stood nearly as tall as he did, and sighed in a pleased manner as the doors closed behind him on their own. Dan had no doubt that this was Grogar.
“How are yer feelin’, boss?” the demon guard at the door asked. (My Lord, are you well?)
“Yes, much better. Even in their state the Princesses have so much power to drain,” he replied.
The Princesses! That must be where they are! Thought Dan.
“Although, I am still quite weakened from the spell I cast earlier. I’ll need to drain them and Discord several more times before I recover my full strength. Have the cooks prepare me a meal, and make sure they get the food for the prisoners ready as well. I don’t want them starving on me before I can fully absorb their powers.”
“Sure fin’, right, boss.” (As you wish, my Lord.)
Dan waited until Grogar was far out of sight before walking the cart up to the door and the demon. “Eh up, great timin’! Honest, guv! Listen, I’ve got a poker game ter get to, cor blimey guv! Yer can feed the chuffin’ Princesses and tell the bleedin’ to get the Boss’ meal ready, right?” Dan quietly gave him a thumbs up. “Great, right! I’ll put in a good word for yer! Struth!” the demon said before jogging off. (How fortuitous, my good man! Sir, I am expect at a poker game with my compatriots. Might I be able to trust you with feeding the Princesses as well as informing the cooks that they should prepare our Lord’s meal?) (Many thanks! I shall ensure you are giving commendations, my good man!)
Well that was easy, Dan thought as he opened the doors and walked in. The two creatures he saw inside were stunning, so much so that he rubbed his eye to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. Both of them were much larger than the ponies he’d seen so far and possessed both horns and wings, each more resplendent than the ones that possessed only one or the other. Their manes and tails fluttered in despite their being no breeze, and they wore jewelry in the form of tiaras, necklaces, and hoof slippers. Both were also, unfortunately, kept in their own cages with manacles on their hind legs and collars around their necks, chains connected to the corners of their cages.
The larger of the two was an alabaster white with a mane and tail of pinks, greens, and blues and eyes of violet. On her flank was a symbol of the sun and her jewelry was golden. Though exhausted she looked at Dan with a reserved yet defiant glare, refusing to be broken. The other was a bit smaller and had a coat of navy blue with a lighter blue mane and tail that had what looked to be stars in them. Her eyes were a seafoam green and her tiara and necklace were black, while her slippers were light blue, and on her flank was a crescent moon over a splotch of black. Unlike the other one, her aggression and contempt was quite openly displayed.
“So, Grogar hath sent a pile of griffon pickings to Us? Do thy worst, thou carrion for worms! We shall not falter,” she spat defiantly.
Dan immediately seized up from having been spoken so from what was clearly a displeased royal. He may had been a fraud in life, but he was always a knight loyal to the crown. After taking a moment to calm himself he removed the apron and toque before taking one knee and bowing his head. “Hear nah, ur Magahsties, fer Ah mean oo no iw wiw. Ah am Hir Aniel Horteshoo, Hero ah Gallahmah, an Ah cahm ho ofha mah aig,” he said with as much dignity as someone with a missing jaw could. (Fear not, your Majesties, for I mean no ill will. I am Sir Daniel Fortesque, Hero of Gallowmere and I come to offer my aid.)
Both of the Princesses just blinked at him for a few moments. “Sister, why is the skeleton bowing to us?” the smaller one asked.
The other one cleared her throat before taking a more regal stance. “Please rise,” she ordered, and he obeyed. “I had some difficulty understanding you, but.. You called yourself ‘Sir… Daniel’, correct?” He nodded. “You are a knight?” He nodded again. “And where did you say you hailed from?”
“Gallahmah,” he replied.
“‘Gallow… mere?’” She tried to sound it out.
“Uh huh.”
“I’ve not heard of such a place,” the smaller one said. “Where is it?”
“Ah don’t hink ih awound anymah,” he replied. (I don’t think it’s around anymore.)
“Oh, I see. I apologize.” Dan waved her off.
The other one cleared her throat. “I am Princess Celestia. This is my sister, Princess Luna. Do you truly mean to help us, Sir Daniel?” He nodded back. “If I may ask… why?”
Dan thought about that for moment. He didn’t really question going on this adventure. Last time the reasons were obvious: Gallowmere was his home, he had to protect it. And he also wanted to prove to those naysayers that he could be the hero that he had spun tales about, and that the legends had proclaimed him to be. But Gallowmere was likely long gone, and he had already earned his place in the Hall of Heroes. So why did he feel compelled to fight this time?
After a few moments of thought he gave his answer. “Ah gesh ih jush was Ah do,” he shrugged. (I guess it’s just what I do.)
Princess Luna eyed him critically, confused by his answer, as well as his mumbling. Princess Celestia, by contrast, smiled. “You wouldn’t be the first to say something along those lines.” Dan smirked in return and unsheathed his sword, ready to heroically cut their locks. “Wait!” she cried, causing him to stop in confusion. “Sir Daniel, though we greatly appreciate your desire to help, freeing us would be a liability.”
“Indeed, though we loathe to admit it. In our weakened state we would only slow you down, and I fear you do not have the power to defeat Grogar presently,” Princess Luna hesitantly agreed.
“Buh hen whah hould Ah do?” he asked, secretly upset that he wasn’t about to dramatically save any fair Princesses. (But then what should I do?)
“There are six mares that have saved Equestria time and time again, and thankfully they have escaped Grogar’s clutches,” Celestia began. “One of them is an alicorn, like us, named Twilight Sparkle. One is a unicorn named Rarity, those who have only horns. Two of them have only wings, pegasi named Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. And then there are two earth ponies, those without wings or horns, named Applejack and Pinkie Pie. Together they are known as the ‘Element Bearers’ or ‘Elements of Harmony.’ Find them and protect them, and they should be able to help you,” Princess Celestia explained.
“There is also a baby dragon named Spike and another unicorn named Starlight Glimmer. They are Twilight Sparkle’s assistant and student, respectively, and they will be willing to help you as well. However, you made need some help in convincing them you are on their side,” Princess Luna noted, motioning to his appearance.
“Tell them Princess Celestia and Princess Luna sent you. And if you need more to convince Twilight, which I’m sure you will, do this,” Celestia said. She then went through some odd dancing motions and stranger rhymes, causing Dan to look on with confusion. “Did you get all that?” Dan repeated the names back to them to ensure he got them right, and even did the song and dance Princess Celestia showed him, much to his embarrassment. “Good. Now one of Grogar’s other prisoners is an ally of ours, despite his appearance. His name is Discord, and he is close friends with one of the Elements of Harmony, Fluttershy. No doubt Grogar is stealing his power as well, but he may have enough to send you out of and on your way to Ponyville. It’s the nearest town to Canterlot, and it’s where all the ponies we’ve asked you to look for live.”
“Buh whagh don’t Ah jush leave?” he asked. (But why don’t I just leave?)
“Grogar is not some arrogant tyrant. He easily manipulated us before he overpowered us. We must insist you stay hidden from him as much as possible so he cannot plan around you,” Princess Luna answered. “It is also why we must insist you leave us here. So long as he thinks he is in more control than he actually is he will be more easily taken by surprise.”
“We are putting our faith in you, Sir Daniel. The fate of the whole world may rest on your actions,” Princess Celestia said before they both bowed to him.
Dan stood tall and saluted them back. He headed for the door, only to stop and turn back to the serving cart, placing the bowls inside their cage. “Eah up. Hay hong,” he said, giving them a thumbs up before sneaking back outside. (Eat up. Stay strong.)
“... Not exactly what you’d think of for a hero, right Tia?” Princess Luna chuckled.
“True, but I can see it in his eyes… er, eye. He has experience, and through skill and bravery or luck and folly, he has succeeded. I believe we can place our faith in him,” Princess Celestia nodded assuredly.
Despite his previous assurances, it didn’t take long for Dan to realize he had no idea where he was going, or where this “Discord” was. He looked around and saw no one was around and pondered what to do about this.
“Hey! Hey! Bag of Bones! Over here!” Dan turned to see another one of the pony statues with glowing eyes. “I see you’ve actually managed to meet the Princesses. I have to say, I’m pretty shocked. Then again, I guess the demons and soulless ponies are dumber than I gave them credit for.”
“Hell me ahout ih,” Dan rolled his eye. (Tell me about it.)
“As much fun as it is to watch you stumble into success, I guess I’d better help you before you push your luck too far. Discord’s just down those stairs, first door on the left. Hurry up then, I can’t wait to see what he’s gonna do to you!”
“Huh?”
“Just go already!”
Dan huffed and carefully descended the stairs, making sure there was no one to see him. Thankfully the path was clear all the way to the door. The guard must be off playing poker, he thought. He quickly entered the door and was once again shocked at what he saw, but for a completely different reason. The being was an near indescribable mish-mash of animals, held inside a magic barrier with his hands encased in metal and chained to the wall. He looked up at Dan with his red and yellow eyes and smiled despite the exhaustion clear on his face. “Well it’s about time. So you’re the one the one the statues have been talking about.” Dan, still taken aback just nodded. “Equestria, taken over by a necromancer, and then saved by an undead knight risen from his own magic. Oh, it’s so deliciously ironic. Maybe not as chaotic as I would’ve hoped, but I suppose you’ll do.”
“Ha Hrincesses haid hat oo wood halp me,” Dan said to the creature. (The Princesses said that you would help me.)
“Yes, absolutely. As much as I’d like to play games, we should get you out of here now. But first, what’s your name?”
“Hir Aniel Horteshoo.”
“‘Daniel’? Dan the Man, Dannykins. Alright then fella, I hope you packed your brown armor.”
“Huh?” was all Dan was able to say before the creature somehow used the fluff on his tail to snap. There was a bright flash and then Dan saw that he was looking at the sky… and then the horizon… and then the ground.
The Hero of Gallowmere let out a shriek like a baby as he plummeted from the sky, flailing his limbs futilely as the ground rapidly approached. He took the time to curse his second unlife as he approached his end, landing feet first, only for him to suddenly launch back into the air accompanied by a “SPROING!” Dan struggled to comprehend what just happened when he started to fall again. He positioned himself just like before, and again was sent skyward. It was then he noticed the springs on the soles of his shoes, the saviors of his sorry state. With some adjustments he readied himself for another jump, successfully springing off the ground. He laughed at having conquered gravity, only for its vengeful sister momentum to strike at him as he flew directly at a massive tree. Unable to stop despite his best efforts he smashed into the centuries-old trunk. After a moment he fell, a branch stopping his descent by placing itself between his legs. As the searing pain screamed through his body only one thought rang in his skull: How does this hurt so much if there’s nothing there anymore!?
It had taken Dan several days (or it least it felt like it was days, hard to tell with the endless night), but he finally saw Ponyville just a short distance away, around an hour considering the pace he had been going. He had followed the the tracks for the steam chariot, a “train” if he remembered what Zarok called his, and he thankfully had not encountered any enemies along the way. The “Spring Shoes”, as he’d taken to calling them, that he originally thought were nothing but a joke had helped him close the distance to Ponyville several times, especially when there were large gaps or high cliffs he needed to get around. Though he did have more than his fair share of crashes while he tried to get the hang of them. Also, his status as an undead made it so he didn’t need to rest on his trip, though overexertion was still a factor. He also had to make sure that Morten was fell fed, and thought it was a bit strange to put dirt into his skull, but he got used to it.
He was somewhat relieved, but still worried, to see that Ponyville was empty. Though he didn’t come across any demons or undead on his trip, he did notice that the ground in front of him looked like it had been trampled by a large group. More concerning was that he saw the lights in the windows and streets go out and not return. No cages and no bodies meant no deaths and no and prisoners… probably. However, there were all the roaming demons patrolling the area, so if he wanted answers, he’d have to be cautious. He took a look at the surrounding area and saw some woods that, while not too thick, looked like they could provide him cover. With the barest minimum of a plan he headed out again.
After some time Dan had finally reached the edge of the Whitetail Woods (which he didn’t know the name of, but I’m mentioning by name just so you know) and observed the demons that doing their routes, looking rather bored. Not wanting to kick the hornet’s nest, he stealthily clanked into town, making sure to avoid being seen and slipping between houses. He looked for any sort of clues as to where the residents were, saw nothing aside from the demons. Hit stops and pondered for a moment, wondering what to do.
“Oi! Struth! Wothcer doin’ ‘ere!?” (I do say, sir! Just exactly why are you at this location!?)
Dan froze and turned to see one of the demons behind him, glaring. “Why aren’t ye in the forest ‘ave a lookin’ for them ponies!?”With few other ideas Dan just stood there, moaning like another brainless zombie. “Oh for the bleedin’ luv of- come ‘ere!” (For what reason are you not scouring the forest for the ponies?) (Oh for goodness - follow me!)
The demon grabbed dan by the shoulder and dragged him all the way to the edge of town and to the edge of a rather terrifying looking forest. “Listen, go into the bleedin’ forest, find where the ponies are ‘idin, and nab them all, got it?” Rather than reply, Dan just moaned as he shuffled into the forest. “And don’t forget ter use yer sword, fairy! Oi!” He called before turning away. (Listen well, scour the forest until you come come across the location of the ponies and capture them, do you comprehend?”) (And remember to use your blade, dullard!)
Dan kept up the routine until he was deep within the forest. Well, at least I have a heading… somewhat. As he headed through the forest he came across the occasional zombie pony, stumbling around aimlessly, more than once they shuffled into each other and the trees, tripping over roots or just walking smack dab into their trunks. Just like in the mines, they paid him no mind so he kept going. Eventually he did discover a path that, while still having roots, trees and the like growing over it, did seem to have been well worn from use. He followed it, hoping he had finally come across something that could help, when he heard a snap and his feet taken out from under him. He squealed as he was flung into the air, hitting his head on a branch, then hung limply in the air from the rope around his legs. The last thing he heard was a shrill battlecry.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER UNDEAD HUNTERS, YAAAAAY!”
Dan groaned as he finally started coming too, feeling like he had be coiled into a knot… which judging by the fact that he saw his foot in front of his face may not have been too far off. He tried to right himself only for something to stop him. It took a few tries to realize that he was tangled up in some kind of net. Deciding to observe his surroundings instead he noticed the darkness of his location, though there was some light coming from what appeared to be a small opening. After focusing more he realized he was in a tent of some kind, supplied scattered around him. Then he noticed the voices from outside.
“But why not!? You see what we can do!” a young girl’s voice shouted.
“Yeah! We may be young, but Ah recon’ this proves we can hold our own!” came another young girl’s voice with an accent he’d never heard before, though he could somehow see it coming out of the mouths of the farmers in Gallowmere.
“No, and that’s final! Your sisters all left me in charge of you, and that’s what I’m going to do! And shame on you for doing this in the first place! If they found I you ran of to do something this… stupid they’d have my tail!” the voice of an older woman sternly shouted back. “And you were supposed to be watching them too, Spike!”
“Sorry! They’re really sneaky when they want to be!” a young boy’s voice apologized.
Wait… Spike?
“Calm yourself, my dear Starlight. I know your anger is born from fright,” another voice said, this one calmer wiser. Though she did have an accent that reminded him of Imanzi, causing him to flinch a little. “Had their ploy gone wrong this would end in woe, so be thankful it is not so.”
What’s with all the rhyming? Wait… she said “Starlight”, didn’t she? Isn’t that one of ponies I’m supposed to be looking for? And wasn’t Spike the name of the dragon? Dan thought as he tried to shuffle towards the opening to get a look.
The voice of what he assumed to be Starlight Glimmer sighed. “Fine, fine. I understand you’re worried, and that you want to help, but please, please, don’t ever run off again,” she said in a calmer voice.
“But we just want to help! It’s been days since the others left, and Pinkie Pie and Applejack only were supposed to go to Sweet Apple Acres to get food and tools! They’re still not back! What if something happened to them!? And Rarity! And the others!” another young voice cried, somehow managing to sound adorable even when worried.
“Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity.” This is definitely where I’m supposed to be. Now I just need to make it out of this net. With great effort he managed to reach his right arm to grab his left and pulled hard, removing it from his body (Don’t worry, he’s a skeleton. No gore here.) He hand-walked it around the net, trying to find some kind of not to undo so he could escape and did find a knot. However, after about a minute of trying he found he couldn’t undo with only one hand. With a sigh he had it walk over to his other arm and, with great effort and a little assistance from his foot, pull off his other arm. The two scuttled over and, with some difficulty, managed to undo it and he began to shuffle himself out of the net.
“Sweetie Belle, I know you’re-” Starlight Glimmer began, only for a terrified scream to cut her off.
“ZOMBIES!” someone shouted.
“THE HORROR! THE HORROR!” another cried. The sounds of panic and running citizens filled the air. Dan quickly righted himself, managing to stand up before grabbing one of his arms and placing it back into its socket. He then used that arm to grab the other one and put it back in its place. No, I have no idea how he did that, but a cookie to whomever gets the reference.
“Girls, find someplace to hide! Spike, watch them!” Starlight Glimmer ordered from outside.
“Check!” Spike replied.
Dan decided he needed to help and drew his swor - no wait, it wasn’t there anymore. He looked to his hip and saw that the sword and its scabbard was missing, as was his shield. He looked around the tent but didn’t find them their either and reasoned that they must’ve disarmed him after his capture. He still had everything else though, as it seems they didn’t know about his Hero’s Pocket. Then a collection of gasps caught his attention and he looked down.
There were three small ponies in front of him and a small dragon, their size telling him they were definitely children. One of them was an earth pony with a yellow coat, red hair, and a mark that looked like shield with an apple emblazoned on it, and wore a large pink bow. One was a pegasus with an orange coat, purple hair, and a similar mark but emblazoned with a wing that had a lightning bolt inside it. The last was a unicorn with a white coat, two-toned lavender and pink hair, and a mark that was also the same asider from a star with a quarter note inside it. The dragon stood on two legs, had purple scales and a green underbelly, green fins running from his head to his back, and fin like ears. They all looked at him with utter terror.
“Um… hewo,” he mumbled and waved.
They responded with an ear-splitting scream of terror before bolting out of the tent. “HE’S AWAKE! HE’S AWAKE!” Not wanting to deal with the situation he vaulted over the supplies in the tent before crouching down and squeezing under the tent to escape.
He looked around to see a makeshift camping site in a clearing in the forest, with a few trees cut down to make room for the several tents. Zombies were currently shuffling through the camp, many of the ponies running for their lives, but a few fighting back. Two in particular stood out: One was a unicorn with a lavender coat, purple hair with aqua highlights, and a mark of what looked like a swirl of smoke rising from a star, blasting the zombified ponies with magic. The other was a zebra with with two large hooped gold earrings, gold rings around her neck, gold rings around her left leg, and a mark that looked like something Imanzi’s tribe would’ve made to symbolise the sun, wielding a wooden staff and swinging hard enough to break the undead’s bones. As they dispatched the zombies, their defeated foes’ souls hovered in the air, seemingly lost. Dan reached into his Hero’s Pocket and pulled out the CHalice of Souls, absorbing them into it and causing it to grow brighter with each one he it did. Interesting, so I don’t have to be the one to beat them to get them.
As the ponies fought off the zombies Dan snuck around, using the distraction to look for his sword and shield, finally locating them leaning against a tree stump. He was about to head over and take them when he heard a scream. He looked to see that one of the three pony girls, the pegasus, being held in the hand of a massive demon. He stood above all the tents, with arms and legs like tree trunks, clawed fingers, cloven hooves, sharp teeth, large ram like horns, yellow glowing eyes, and glowing runes all over his arms. His skin was a sickly green, and his hair and beard like moss.
“Right, right, that’s enough of that. Why don’t you lot just give over now, huh?”the demon said as he held of the girl for all of them to see, making his threat clear. (Cease and desist. Please quietly surrender, will you not?)
“Scootaloo!” the other two girls cried.
“Damn it,” Starlight seethed.
“Put her down!” Spike shouted and breathed a green flame on the demon’s hoof.
“GAH! LITTLE GNAT!” he shouted and kicked the young dragon away. (I SAY! YOU ARE QUITE THE ANNOYANCE!)
“SPIKE!” Starlight shouted in fear.
Dan saw this and knew he had to act, but without his sword or shield wasn’t left with any way to attack, certainly not in a way he could effectively save the girl… yes I know he still has the other weapons in his pocket, he’s forgetful, okay? Suspend your disbelief for a moment for the sake of dramatic tension. Dan summoned up his courage and pulled his left arm out of his socket. He bellowed out a battlecry, catching everyone off guard, and hurled his arm at the demon’s face, which began scratching at his eye.
“MUTHA PISS BUCKET!” the demon screamed, dropping the pony. Dan dove and caught her in his other arm, setting her down before his other arm jumped back to him, which he grabbed and inserted back into its socket. “Yer wee-! Right! I’ll skin yer ali-! Oh, wait…” Dan used the stop in his train of thought to grab all the of the girls, his screams of terror sounding perfectly matched to theirs as his sudden burst of bravery subsided. (Interjection denoting pain and displeasure) (I say, ruffian! Prepare to be flayed ali-! Oh, but a moment…)
“COME BACK ‘ERE!” the demon screamed as he charged after them. Dan tossed the girls at Starlight Glimmer, who caught them in her magic, before picking up his shield, managing to raise it just in time for the demon to punch him. The shield held strong against the impact, but Dan was sent tumbling backwards, his skull falling off his neck as he did. The demon reached down to grab his skull. “I’ll use the jelly from yer mince pies to-oh, right, wait…” (RETURN HERE POSTHASTE!) (I shall crush the gelatinous liquid from your eyes to-oh, but a moment…)
The derailing of threats once again gave Dan a chance to retaliate, dashing forwards and kicking his head at the demon like football (we’re going of British terms here, you uncultured Americans), which hit the demon between the legs. As the demon winced, Dan grabbed his skull on the rebound, replacing it on his neck. “OI, YOU’RE DEAD! Wait… BLIMEY, THIS BE SO ‘ARD!” Dan ran to grab his sword, but the demon cut him off. (I SHALL SEE TO YOUR END! Oh, but a moment… I SAY, THIS TASK SHOULD NOT BE SO DIFFICULT!)
Finally remembering his Hero’s Pocket, he pulled out his axe and hurled it at the demon’s head, which it ducked under, giving him a chance to grab his sword, tying the scabbard to his hip. “Wh-What!? Where did he get the axe!?” the little pegasus, Scootaloo asked. The demon smirked, raising his fist to smash Dan, only for the axe to circle back and cut clean through it’s horn. As it stumbled back in pain dan caught the axe and tucked it away before drawing his sword and rushing at it. “OI, THAT DOES IT!” the demon bellowed, his eyes and runes shining brightly before slamming his palm on the ground, causing the earth around Dan to rise up. Within seconds the earth had transformed into six rock golems around his size, surrounding him. “Pound ‘is bones ter dust! Struth! Oh oi, right, that one works!” the demon said, sounding particularly pleased with itself. (MY PATIENCE HAS RUN OUT!) (Pulverize his very marrow! Oh, I say, that one was appropriate!)
Dan set to work cutting them down, the enchanted blade easily cutting through the stone golems before they had a chance to react, only for the broken pieces to realign themselves in moments. Thinking quickly, he pulled out his warhammer, raised it over his head and slammed it into the ground, the shockwave pulverizing all of the golems in one hit.
“‘Ave a looks like yer’re packin’, ain’t ya?” the demon said as it punched the ground, sending a wave of earth at Dan. He braced himself and blocked the attack with his shield, sliding back several yards before coming to stop, preparing for the next attack. (I say, it seems you have quite the arsenal, do you not?)
“Whoa,” Spike muttered, watching the fight from afar. Just then a moan snapped him out of daze, turning to see a zombie behind him. He yelped in surprise and ran away, fearful of being bitten.
“Zecora, help Spike and the others! I’m going to help the… skeleton thing!” Starlight Glimmer said before levitating herself into the air, Zecora running off to attack more zombies.
Dan meanwhile readied himself, the demon charging at him. He clicked his heels, causing the Spring Shoes to appear on his feet, and leapt over the demon, cutting it on the head with a flip and a slash. As the demon roared in pain Dan landed, clicking his heels again to return his shoes to normal, before turning to charge the demon. It swung its fist out in a rage, Dan barely managing to raise his shield in time and being knocked onto his back. “I’M GONNA BREAK YER, YER LOUSY-!” the demon threatened, only for a blast of magic to the face to send him stumbling back. It looked up to see Starlight Glimmer hovering with her own magic, ready to fire another blast, but the demon summoned a boulder to its hand and hurled the stone at her. She managed to put up a barrier spell in time, but the impact knocked her out of the air. (I SHALL DESTROY YOU, YOU CONTEMPTIBLE-!)
Dan took advantage of this and charged the demon, who saw him coming and raised its fist to strike back, only for something to hold it back. It looked to see its fist was caught in a magical grip thanks to Starlight, give Dan the opening to leap up and run his sword straight through the demon’s heart. The foul creature screamed in pain, flailing violently, before falling onto its back, dead.
Dan just stood the fore a moment, panting from exhaustion, before pulling out his sword and hopping off the body. He wiped the blood off on his sleeve as the demon faded to nothing, releasing a soul. Dan sheathed his blade and pulled out the Chalice of Souls, absorbing it and the rest of the souls of the defeated zombies. The Chalice shined brilliantly for a moment before it, and Dan, vanished in a flash of light.
“Uh… what?” Starlight muttered.
As the blinding light faded Dan found himself in a familiar setting. Before him stood a building of marble lined with gold, styled like those he’d seen in paintings of Rome. Around him an endless sky of blue with fluffy white clouds. He walked forwards and encountered another of the pony statues.
“Welcome to the Hall of Heroes!” it proclaimed dramatically. “Equestria version,” it added quickly.
“Ehuestia verhion?” Dan asked. (Equestria version?)
“You didn’t think yours was the only Hall of Heroes, did you? There were dozens, even in your time. Surprised you never heard about them considering how long you were there. Anyway, here in the Hall of Heroes are honored some of Equestria’s finest, famed for their strength, wisdom, beauty, and intellects. Honestly it’s less violent overall compared to a lot of the others, but different strokes for different folks, eh? I’m given to understand you’ve done this before, so hurry on in. And try not to ruin the place too much with your decomposed presence, you wouldn’t believe how long the janitorial staff takes to get it to that mirror shine.”
“Wak ih, oo,” Dan snapped back. (Watch it, you.)
“Right then, off you go.” Dan rolled his eye and headed inside, pushing aside the massive doors before entering the glistening marble halls, seeing six statues on either side with a massive torch of rainbow flame in the center of the room. He noticed one of the statues was glowing orange and walked over.
The statue in question was that of a massive and well-built stallion with a full beard, wearing armor similar to those heard heard stories of about the conquering sailors to the north. He stood tall with one leg wrapped around, of all things, a shovel. The statue turned to him and began to speak.
“Ah, there he is! Stallion of the hour! Or should I say ‘man’ like you did back in your times?” the statue said in jolly and boisterous voice that reminded him of Stayner.
“Oo nowh abah me?” Dan asked, genuinely surprised. (You know about me?)
“Of course! I don’t think there’s anyone in all the Hall of Heroes who hasn’t heard about you!” Dan smiled about that. To think, he was famous amongst even all the legendary heroes throughout time! “Sir Daniel Fortesque, the Fraud of Gallowmere, undeserving of the praise he got in life, only to come back and earn it in unlife! Don’t think there’s ever been a hero quite like you!” The statue laughed.
“Wak ih, oo,” Dan huffed, folding his arms.
“Aw, don’t be like that! I honestly think it’s quite the inspiring tale! Takes a lot of dedication to earn your keep after you’ve already gotten your reward. Way to take responsibility!”
“Hanks… Ah hink?” Dan replied, not sure if he was being insulted or not. (Thanks… I think?)
“Anyway, back to business. I hear Equestria’s dealing with a nasty piece of work by the name of Grogar, raising the dead, stealing souls and whatnot? What fortune for our great land to get such an experienced hero to take on the job. And as one of the great heroes of Equestria’s past, it only stands to reason that I, Rockhoof of the Mighty Helm, do my part. Take my shovel. She may not seem like much, but the old girl packs quite the swing. Just holding her will put some muscle on you! Er, figuratively speaking, of course. And don’t forget to use her for what she was made for, too. Dirt and stone part like a hot knife through butter for her. That’s how I redirected the lava from that volcano!” he proudly boasted.
“‘Divering lagha’? At wood’ve been halphul,” Dan muttered, remembering the few times lava had blocked his path. (‘Diverting Lava’? That would’ve been helpful.)
“I look forwards to having a drink with you soon, Sir Daniel. Now head out there and do us one proud!” In a flash of light the shovel appeared before him. In all honesty, if not for the squared edged and the obvious indentation, he would’ve mistaken it for some kind of spear. The moment he grabbed it he felt power rush through him, feeling like he could lift the entire Hall of Heroes on his own.
Just then things began to get brighter and in another flash of light he was gone.
Another flash of light and Dan was back in the hidden Everfree Village, startling everyone there. They all stared, still concerned about his status as an undead, so he decided to ease the tension and put on his best smile. “Hewo!” he waved.
“THE HORROR! THE HORROR!” one of the ponies screamed before she and two other fainted and fell over.
Dan looked to see most of the ponies somewhere between cowering and curious, scared but wanting to know more. In the end, only one of them was brave enough to approach, and thankfully it was the unicorn he wanted to speak to.
“Um… hello,” Starlight Glimmer said as she approached cautiously. “Who… What-?”
“Hewo! Ur Stahlite Gimmah, carrak?” he asked. (Hello! You’re Starlight Glimmer, correct?)
“Uh, um… what?”
“Ah a Hir Aniel Horteshoo, an-” (I am Sir Daniel Fortesque, and-)
Dan groaned, realizing that this was going to be much more difficult than communicating with the Princesses. Thankfully, Sir Daniel was a marvelous storyteller, and with that an expert of communication… and charades. He cleared his-nonexistent throat and pointed to himself. “Ah. A. An,” he said simply, stressing each syllable.
Starlight Glimmer still looked confused, so he decided to try something a little different. He pointed at the unicorn. “Stahlite Gimmah,” he said before pointing back at himself. “An.” He then pointed back to her. “Stahlite Gimmah.”
She pointed to her self. “Y-Yes. My name is Starlight Glimmer,” she stuttered.
He nodded and then pointed back to himself. “An.”
“... Anne?” she asked, pointing to him.
Dan sighed and stressed his limited vocal powers as much as he could. “Daaaaaaaahn.”
“D-Daaaaaan? Dan?” she asked. He excitedly nodded back. “Dan. That’s your name?” He nodded. “Okay Dan… what are you?”
“Ah’m ha Hero ah Gallahmah!” he said proudly. (I’m the Hero of Gallowmere!)
“Um… what?”
Dan sighed again. Rather than try and sound it out again he decided to try some pantomiming. He drew his sword and shield, placed one foot on a stump, and posed heroically, humming a heroic tune.
“... Um, I’m sorry, I don’t-”
“He’s a knight!” Sweetie Belle interrupted excitedly.
“What?” Starlight Glimmer asked, everypony looking at her.
“He’s a knight! I’d recognize one anywhere!”
“Yeah, me too!” Scootaloo agreed. “Sword, shield, armor, and fighting monsters!”
“Yup, jus’ like in them stories!” Apple Bloom added.
“Girls, you shouldn’t make-” Starlight, only to be interrupted by Dan clapping and nodding in approval. “Wait, you really are a knight?” Dan nodded. The ponies began to murmur among themselves, some not being completely convinced and others happy to have a possible savior arrive. “Okay, ‘Sir Dan’. Why are you here?” she asked, still suspicious.
Dan thought about how to tell her for a moment before coming up with an idea. He called the three fillies over and the eagerly obeyed, looking a bit star struck. He picked up Apple Bloom and set her on the stump motioning for her to stay still. He then placed Scootaloo on top of her, and then Sweetie Belle on top of her. He then pointed to the strange pony totem.
“... I don’t… what?” Starlight asked, utterly baffled. Dan deadpanned before thinking for a moment, then grabbed Sweetie Belle’s mane and tail and began to lightly shake them, making them look like they were blowing in the wind. Starlight just stared for a moment before something clicked. “Wait… the Princesses!? You were sent by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!?” she asked.
Dan stopped fiddling with Sweetie’s mane and nodded excitedly.
“Really!?” all three of the Crusaders asked excitedly… causing them to fall over… and somehow get covered in tree sap. “Ow.”
The crowd began to murmur more, a bit of hope inching into their tone.
“So you found the Princesses!?” Starlight asked hopefully. He nodded back. “You freed them!?” Dan hesitated for a moment before sagging his shoulders and shaking. Starlight, and the crowd, were a bit deflated. “But… they’re alright… right?” Dan waved his hand in a “kinda sorta” motion. “Well, I mean, aside from them being prisoners.” Dan nodded. “Okay then, well, that’s something. What about Discord?”
“Hame,” he replied. (Same.)
“‘Same’?” she asked and he nodded, confirming she understood her. “I see. Well then, why are you here?”
Dan pointed to Starlight, then looked around for a moment before pointing to Spike, who looked surprised he was singled out. He then counted on his fingers as he tried to remember the others’ names. Twilight Sparkle, Rarity. Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie, he thought then held up six of his bony fingers to Starlight.
She took a moment to think about what he was trying to tell her before she understood. “Oh, so the Princesses sent you here to find me, Spike, and the girls?” Dan nodded back. “The Princesses said that we’d all be able to help you defeat Grogar, didn’t they?” Dan nodded again. Starlight sighed. “That’s… going to be a bit difficult.” Dan tilted his head. “Come with me. Spike, Zecora, you too,” she said walking towards one of the bigger tents. She then topped and turned to the three fillies. “And none of you run off!” she ordered sternly.
“Okay,” they all groaned.
Dan followed the unicorn, zebra, and dragon into a nearby tent, stepping inside to see a flimsy wooden table with a map of what seemed to be the local area, judging by the village labelled “Ponyville” on it.
“Okay, so here’s the situation,” Starlight began. “Me and the other girls were in Canterlot when Grogar attacked, and we barely managed to make it out on the train back. We knew they’d be coming for us next, so we all headed into the Everfree Forest to escape. Zecora already lived here, so she helped us build our camp,” she explained, motioning to the zebra who nodded in response. “We’ve been holding out for days now, and we’ve been trying to gather supplies, get more secured, and find help. Applejack, Pinkie Pie and um… Lyra went here, to Sweet Apple Acres,” she said, pointing to a large farm near Ponyville. “It’s Applejack’s family farm, so she would know best where to get something useful and to get food for us. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and my friend Trixie went here to the Castle of the Pony Sisters.” She pointed to a castle-like structure. “It was the royal palace one thousand years ago before the capital was moved to Canterlot. It’s old, and a bit worn down, but stone walls with some holes are still better than nothing. As for Twilight, her brother is the Prince of the Crystal Empire, and the former captain of the guard. She said she knew he was off training some new recruits in Manehattan, so she left to try and see if she could bring them back to help. Manehattan’s a long way away, so it’s no surprise she’s not back yet, especially since she didn’t take the train so she could be more stealthy. As for the other girls, they definitely should’ve been back by now, so they’ve probably been captured or… well, let’s just hope they’ve been captured.”
Dan folded his arms, nodding in understanding. They were in quite the conundrum.
“So Sir Dan, what do you think we should do?” she asked.
“Hm?” he asked, looking to her.
“I mean, you are a knight, right? I’m sure you can already come up with some plan to save them all.”
At that moment Dan was thankful he was dead so Starlight couldn’t see him sweat. Apparently she thought that he was some sort of tactical genius, not the fierce warrior that he had often regaled the royal court with. Still, if nothing else, Sir Dan was an expert pseudologist and knew how to appear like the smartest person in the room: get smarter people to guess what your plans are, and then agree with them.
Looking at the map, Dan cleared his throat pointed at this “Sweet Apple Acres”, reasoning that food would be the most important, making sure to look confident as possible. The others merely stared at the spot for a moment, looked back to him confused. Once again thankful he no longer had sweat glands, Dan pointed to himself and then the farm on the map again.
“Oh, so you think it would be best if we started with Sweet Apple Acres, so we get some supplies and try and find Applejack and Pinkie, right?” Starlight asked. Dan internally sighed in relief and nodded. “Great, we’ll come with you!”
“Hm?” Dan asked, confused.
“Well, obviously I’d have to go with you. I mean, ponies haven’t exactly had the best experience with undead, so I should probably go along, just to make sure nopony attacks you or something.”
“Oh. Goo poi,” he agreed. (Oh. Good point.)
“Yeah, and I’ll go, too!” Spike proclaimed.
“Actually, I was thinking maybe Zecora,” Starlight refused.
“But I wanna help, too! Besides, if Zecora leaves who’s gonna take care of every pony here?” he insisted.
“Spike-“
“And besides, I’m not just some colt, I’m Spike the Brave and Glorious! And I’m a dragon! Everypony knows undead hate fire!”
“But you need to watch the Cutie Mark Crusaders-”
“Oh like I’d be able to stop them anyway,” he retorted.
Starlight groaned and looked to Dan, who shrugged. “He raihes shome compallang koints,” he replied. (He raises some compelling points.)
Starlight huffed and looked Zecora, but was also denied what she wanted to hear, and this time in rhyme. “Though not what I’d like, it would be safer with Spike. A dragon’s scales and fire would aid when times are dire.”
Starlight sighed. “Fine, okay, I get it. I’ll take Sir Dan and Spike to Sweet Apple Acres, Zecora you can stay here and lead everypony else. Also, you should probably make a few potions, even if you need to ask for some help.”
“Ait… oo ake kotions?” Dan asked Zecora. Before anyone could respond he produced the now useless dragon potion. “Kahn oo fix his?” (Wait… you make potions?)(Can you fix this?)
“You… want her to fix the potion?” Starlight asked, and Dan nodded in response. “Okay, what’s in it?” Dan shrugged. “Okay… well, what is it supposed to do?”
Dan thought a moment on how to explain it, then realized the perfect example was right next to him. He turned and pointed to Spike, believing that would be enough. When it wasn’t, he sighed and used his other hand to make breathing motions from his upper jaw.
“Uh… I don’t-“ Starlight began.
“It lets you breathe fire like a dragon!?” Spike asked excitedly. Dan happily nodded, growing more thankful they were deciding to take the young dragon with them as he seemed to have an easier time understanding him.
“Such a potion exists, yes. But to brew it is no jest,” Zecora began digging into one of her bags. “Much to my ire, the list of ingredients are old and tired,” she finished, handing them the scroll.
“... ‘Royal Blood’? ‘Heart of Dragon’? These are a little… difficult,” Starlight commented.
“Uh huh,” Dan agreed.
“Uh, so long as we don’t need to rip my heart out or something I’m cool with it,” Spike nervously added.
“Okay, well, it looks like we’ve got something of a plan, so let’s get everything squared away,” Starlight said, moving out of the tent, the rest following her. Outside everypony was looking at her expectantly and she nervously cleared her throat. “Okay everypony, listen up! Spike, I, and Sir Dan here are going to head to Sweet Apple Acres to try and find out what happened to Pinkie Pie and Applejack, and also to hopefully get some supplies for us! All of you move to the next location and obey Zecora until we get back! That means you, CMC!”
“Awwww!” the three of them whined.
“None of that!” she scolded, then turned to Dan and Spike. “Okay, let’s get going.”
“Gotcha!” Spike replied enthusiastically, Dan saluting alongside him.
As they both left everypony else was getting their supplies and packing up, except for one pony who eyed them warily...
