Booby Traps

by CassandraMyOCisBestpony

First published

Derpy tries to catch a muffin thief by laying traps around the house.

Derpy believes that someone's stealing her muffins, so she starts laying traps around the house. With her level of care and attentiveness, there's no chance of them backfiring. Carrot just tries to avoid getting caught in the crossfire, or in Derpy's huge rack.

Humanized. Contains: Erotic clumsiness, bondage, and of course, Derpy's massive mammaries. The full story will be 3 chapters, with increasing amounts of kink, and an epilogue.

Sequel to "Oil Spill", and it's vitally important that you read that first so that you understand the plot, because you are after all, reading this primarily for the story.

Coverart snipped from a (maybe NSFW) comic by Dakuroihoshi, however this is an original story, not an adaptation of said comic.

Just to tease you, here are the chapter names:

Chapter 1: Morning Coffee
Chapter 2: A Sticky Situation
Chapter 3: The Thief Exposed
Epilogue: Bed Intruder

Chapter 1: Morning Coffee

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“Carrot Top, we’ve been robbed!” shrieked Derpy. Most roommates would leap up out of their chair at that announcement, or at the very least, be concerned. But Carrot Top had heard Derpy cry wolf so many times (such as the time she thought an elf was replacing all her bras with smaller ones) that she barely glanced upwards from reading the morning paper.

“What did they take?” asked Carrot Top, in a voice of feigned interest. She hadn't had her morning coffee yet, and without it, she had no energy, or patience, for anything adversarial.

“My muffins!” cried Derpy. She pushed a plate in front of Carrot Top’s face, “look at this, there were six muffins on this plate when I went to bed last night, now there are only five.” Carrot Top observed that Derpy was right about that much, there were indeed five muffins on the plate, and a feint circle of crumbs indicating where a sixth had recently been. Derpy happened to be bending down right in front of Carrot's face, and consequentially, it was impossible for Carrot Top not to notice that Derpy was wearing a clumsily-tied bathrobe that was way too small to cover her gorgeous F-Cup rack. Derpy's robes always left a generous amount of cleavage showing, but from this angle, Carrot Top could see almost everything, and was captivated by the way Derpy's breasts jiggled while she continued to explain the fine intricacies of muffin forensics,

"...crumb trail, but I can't figure out how they got out afterwards, I know, right Carrot Top?"

"Er, huh?" asked Carrot, broken out of her lustful trance, "I-I- was just...." she stammered, sure that she was busted for staring, and grasping at straws to find some believable explanation.

"You were so shocked that someone would dare take muffins that didn't belong to them, that you couldn't even speak!" concluded Derpy.

"That works," thought Carrot Top. “Derpy, why would someone break into our house, and not steal something valuable, like my laptop or your jewelry?”

“Because they were hungry,” replied Derpy, sounding as assured as Sherlock lecturing Watson, “it’s not like you can eat gems.”

“If they wanted muffins, why wouldn’t they break into the bakery?”

“Because we don’t keep day-old muffins, we throw them out or take them home at the end of the day.”

“So you get as many as you want for free?”

“That’s not the point!” insisted Derpy.

As a non-consumer of muffins, Carrot Top was completely innocent, (not everyone was blessed with a metabolism like Derpy’s that sent every excess calorie to her breasts), and truth be told, she was moved by the fact that Derpy hadn’t accused her. “I’m sure it’ll turn up,” she said, hoping that would bring her roommate back to reality. Instead, Derpy went over to the linen closet and pulled out something from the very back.

“Aha, here it is! I knew I’d need this someday.” The coffeepot had finished brewing, and Carrot had turned her back to Derpy in the process of pouring herself a cup. She turned around, expecting to see some kind of muffin-safe, but saw instead that Derpy was holding what looked to be a small bazooka.

“Whoa, whoa WHOA!” exclaimed Carrot. She dropped her coffee cup on the floor and scurried backwards.

“Relax Carrot, it’s a net gun,” said Derpy cheerfully, “and I’m only gonna use it on muffin thieves.”

“All the same, I’d like it if you didn’t point that at me.” replied a shaking Carrot Top, gently nudging the barrel upwards.

“It’s ok, I’ve turned on the saf-” she was interrupted by a loud BANG as the gun went off, which startled her enough to make her leap onto Carrot Top’s lap. The gun, being pointed at the ceiling, fired a net straight up in the air, which then came down on top of the duo, tightening itself and forcing the two up against each other. Carrot Top found herself with her face buried in Derpy’s smooth silky blonde hair, which had a pleasant flowery aroma. More noticeably though, was the fact that Derpy’s robe had come open, and that her big, bouncy F-cup breasts were squishing against Carrot's modest B-cups.

There was a time in Carrot Top’s life where she didn’t really know what kind of guys or girls she was into. But a recent occurrence involving her, Derpy, no clothes and some oil, had shown her that she did indeed have a type: bubbly, blonde, busty girls. Derpy however, had remained blissfully oblivious to Carrot's feelings. So while Derpy apologized profusely as she fumbled for the strand of netting that would undo the webbing and free them, Carrot Top sputtered out,

“I-it’s no p-problem really… take your time.” And she meant that. With every slight movement that Derpy made in attempting to free them from their very sexy predicament, her nipples grazed against Carrot Top's skin through her thin cotton shirt. Carrot bit down hard on her lip, trying her damnedest to keep a lid on her arousal, but every moment she spent with the hottest girl in Equestria squirming around on her lap, was like trying to cork up an active volcano.

“There we go,” said Derpy finally, pulling the net off of them and rolling it up in her hands, not caring that she was still sitting in her roommate’s lap, her bare thighs straddling her like a lap-dancer. “Let’s get rid of this for now, I’ll work out the kinks later.” She pitched the net aside, but the movement caused the chair, unsteady under the weight of two people, to tip over backwards. Carrot and Derpy slammed into the floor, not injured, but with Derpy’s chest now grinding into Carrot’s face. Derpy, a bit dazed from the fall, was in no hurry to get off of her, but Carrot Top didn’t mind. Lying there in her personal soft, pillowy heaven, feeling all her stressors just fade away, she realized that maybe she didn’t need her coffee after all.

Chapter 2: A Sticky Situation

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On Wednesdays, Carrot Top worked a morning shift at the farmer’s market, whilst Derpy worked afternoons at the bakery, and they normally didn’t see much of each other. But on this particular Wednesday, Carrot Top was about to see a lot of Derpy. As she arrived home, she heard the shower running briefly, before turning off. Not long after, she heard the wet footsteps coming downstairs that indicated Derpy had forgotten to grab a towel before she got into the shower. Sure enough she was greeted by a dripping wet, completely naked Derpy, the water making her skin glisten and glow, her enormous tits bouncing with every step she took.

"Hey Carrot! Did you have a good day at work?"

"I- um, yeah, we sold a lot of... melons" she sputtered out. "You forget your towel again?" she asked.

"Yeah. Believe it or not, I can be a little airheaded sometimes."

"I hadn't noticed" said Carrot Top, willing herself not to stare at Derpy, who was making no effort to cover her naked body. "Aren't you going to get a towel?"

"Oh, that can wait. I came down here because I wanted to show you something I got to catch the muffin thief!"

"You're still on that, huh?" said Carrot Top with a sigh.

“Check these out!” said Derpy showing off a pair of handcuffs and tittering with excitement that made her massive rack wobble. "I’ve been practicing, watch.” Carrot should’ve seen what was coming next, but watching Derpy bounce around in front of her blocked out all other thoughts, until suddenly, she heard a pair of click & zip noises, and felt the cold metal handcuffs, clapped around her wrists behind her back. "You're under arrest, muffin thief!" said Derpy. Carrot didn't feel intimidated in the least, Derpy was so cute when she tried to act tough, and even moreso as she pantomimed roughing her up in a way that pressed her boobs against Carrot's back. She imagined herself cuffed and lying facedown on the bed, letting Derpy do whatever she wanted. Or maybe, she could play the unruly suspect, and Derpy, the deceptively-strong cop forced to wrestle her to the ground. Carrot would struggle, but Derpy would respond twice as aggressiveness, and grapple her twice as tight, until finally, Derpy's entire body had Carrot in a hold, with soft flesh constricting her no matter how she tried to move, and no chance of ever getting out of Derpy's embrace.

"Well?" asked Derpy, breaking Carrot Top's immersion

"Oh, uh, I bet that thief'll be too scared to even come back," said Carrot Top, "I'm gonna take them off now." Fun as the little game was, it would be pretty inconvenient to be handcuffed all day. With her right hand, she fiddled with the left cuff, looking for a catch that would undo them, but there didn't appear to be one. In fact, the metal felt cold and harsh, and more authentic than she had first assumed. A bit of unease set in. "Derpy," she said apprehensively, "please tell me these aren't real handcuffs that you bought at some depraved sex shop."

"Of course not!"

"Oh, thank-"

"They're real handcuffs that I bought at a police auction."

"WHAT??? You know what, I don't want to know, just, where's the key?"

"It's right here in my jean shorts pocket...oh, whoops." she clarified, remembering she wasn't wearing anything.

"Would you mind getting it from wherever your jean shorts are?" asked Carrot Top, trying to remain patient.

"Not a problem! Oh, and I set up a trap in the hallway to catch the muffin thief, whatever you do, don't step on the red X."

"Red X, got it. Now, the key?"

"Right." She scurried away, giving Carrot top a nice view of her bubble butt and alluring hips. The jean shorts in question hugged Derpy in all the right places, and were one of Carrot's favorite things to see Derpy wearing - aside from her birthday suit of course. Suddenly she was snapped out of her fantasy by a loud *CRASH*, and Derpy's shriek, coming from the hallway. She ran in to see what had happened, and instantly had to pinch herself to make sure she was really seeing what she was seeing.

"I painted the X in the wrong spot!" cried Derpy.

"I-I-I see," replied Carrot Top. Her brain was shorted out, the sight before her was simply too hot for her brain to handle without blowing out. Derpy, still naked, was lying face-up, shackled by her arms & legs to a metal table. Her jiggling jugs bounced all around as she tried futilely to struggle her way out. "Derpy, how did you make this in one day? Never mind, why did you make this?"

"My handcuffs and net gun only work if I'm there to catch the muffin thief. This'll catch them if I'm not. But thank goodness the second part didn't go off."

"Second part?"

"Yeah, a bucket of honey was supposed to dump on them, so they'd be marked even if they could escape from this. I didn't have enough money for the exploding dye packets," she explained as if that were the biggest lingering question, "anyway, it's the same key as the handcuffs for these. I think I left my shorts on the side table in my room"

"Ok Derpy, don't worry, I'll go get it." But before she could take more than a few steps, she heard a splash, and didn't need many guesses to figure out that the second part of the trap had just gone off.

"Oh no, Carrot top! This is bad!" exclaimed Derpy. Her upper body was soaked in honey, and her struggles were becoming increasingly desperate.

"It's ok, Derpy, I'll just get the paper towels, and-" In her attempt to reach for the paper towels on the counter, Carrot was reminded that she was still handcuffed.

"Hurry!" begged Derpy

"Ok, this is fine I'll just have to be a little more dexterous." She awkwardly grabbed the paper towel roll with one hand, and attempted to pull off some towels with the other, but it slipped out of her fingers and fell onto the ground, rolling away into the next room. "All right, this isn't working, Derpy. You sit tight, I'll go get that key."

"No! There's no time for that!"

"No time?" asked Carrot. As far as she could tell, there was no emergency that made this a time sensitive issue, but she cared about Derpy, and hated to see her in such a state of distress and discomfort, so she was willing to hear her out. "Why, what's the matter?"

"If it gets in my hair, it'll never come out!" She had a point, at least in Carrot Top's view, her hair was so soft and silky, and a beautiful shade of blonde. It would indeed be a tragedy if anything happened to it.

"What can I do? I can barely pick up anything with these," she rattled her cuffs for emphasis.

"Lick it off of me," said Derpy. Carrot face-faulted. When she got back on her feet, she stuttered out,

"I don't... I couldn't..."

"Please!" begged Derpy, rocking from side to side, her honey-glazed tits jiggling ever so temptingly. Carrot Top was way too horny to question this delectable delight any further. She approached Derpy's side, and looked her over, trying to determine which honey-coated part of her delicious body needed attention the most. The neck looked like a good place to start. She ran her tongue over Derpy's throat, gently, picking up the sweet honey from Derpy's skin. Moving on to the side of her neck, she quickly captured the droplets that ran down, before they could ruin Derpy's gorgeous locks. As she continued to lick, Derpy spoke up,

"Um Carrot? I'm sorry but..." Carrot's heart dropped out. She knew what was about to happen, that this was too good to be true. The neck was an erogenous zone for some people, and she must've made it weird, and now Derpy was going to ask her to stop. "...but you're not licking hard enough to get it all off." Carrot didn't miss a beat, her drive renewed in an instant, now licking harder as requested. "No, still not good enough," objected Derpy.

"I'm going as hard as I can," said Carrot, trying not to sound impatient, "I don't suppose you have any ideas?"

"Hmmm. Oh, I know, get up on the table, you'll get better leverage that way." Carrot wasn't entirely sure if that was true, but she had no complaints about giving it a try. With some grunting and difficulty - it wasn't easy without the use of her hands - she eventually clambered on to the table, and got herself into a position where she was only grazing Derpy's soft skin, rather than full-on humping her. "And try sucking."

"You got it," said Carrot. Putting all her energy into it, she pursed her lips and began sucking up and down Derpy's neck. Try as she might to think of this as just helping a friend get clean it was inevitable for her mind to wander. Derpy chained down and completely naked, herself on top and basically kissing her, it was like a fantasy come to life. She'd start by nibbling Derpy's neck, just like she was doing now, the thrill of preying on a helpless victim mixing with the warm feeling of being trusted by Derpy to let her go after such vulnerability. The honey trail mirrored exactly where she'd go next, to Derpy's soft, rosy cheeks, which she would ravish with sloppy kisses all over Derpy's pure skin, before moving onto - and yes there was some honey there - Derpy's alluring red lips. She couldn't help but feel a giddy pleasure over this - even when she was in denial for her feelings, she had always wondered what it would like to kiss Derpy. Now, through this crazy chain of events, she was finally getting her chance. She pressed her lips against Derpy's, and instantly felt a thrilling, electric pleasure. Months and months of stifled thoughts and fantasies all erupted at once in a fire of passion as she continued frenching her oblivious roommate. Finally, she willed herself to pull away - this was after all, for business, not pleasure. "That should do it for now, I'll go get the key."

"But you didn't get all of it," objected Derpy. She was right; while Carrot had cleaned off everything above the neckline, there was still a big splatter of honey on Derpy's chest. But this was uncharted territory for Carrot. Sure, she had seen them, and felt them, but never put her mouth on them.

"I got all the honey near your hair, I thought that's what you wanted," said Carrot Top.

"It's not enough" insisted Derpy, "you have to get all of it."

"I-I-I... don't know if I can..."

"Come on, Carrot Top, don't make me ask again. Please, suck my boobs!" Derpy's amber eyes, so big and beautiful, and adorably crossed, took on a sad expression, one of betrayal and hurt. It pained Carrot Top so badly to see Derpy like that, and if this was the only way she could help Derpy, then by Celestia, she was going to do it.

Shuffling down the table a little, she lowered her mouth onto Derpy's collarbone, lapping up the few drops there before the main course. Going lower, still in disbelief that this was really happening, she finally felt Derpy's soft breast in her mouth. As she kissed along the outer edge, she delighted at how soft and yielding the expansive titflesh was. She had touched them any times before, but the new sensation of her sensitive lips gliding over them, felt like she was experiencing the magical bliss for the first time again. She trailed her tongue down to the extra-soft underboob, where some remnant water from Derpy's shower mingled with the sweet honey, adding Derpy's fragrance to the taste, and only increasing Carrot Top's hunger for her roommate. She continued like this, sucking and licking every wonderful droplet of honey off of Derpy's amazing velvety pillows, until the only area left was Derpy's pert pink nipple. Taking it in her mouth, she crooned with pleasure as her tongue brushed against it and flicked Derpy's love button, making sure to be thorough and get the job done. With one final move, she opened her mouth wide and wrapped her lips around as much boob as she could. She sucked down hard on it and pulled, before letting it go with a *pop*. Marvelling at the way it jiggled when it snapped back, Carrot Top swooned and collapsed on top of Derpy.

"Carrot, are you ok?" asked Derpy, worriedly. "Oh no! I knew I asked too much, I'm so sorry Carrot! Don't worry, I'll give you CPR!" Being shackled to the table meant there wasn't much she could do except thrust her breasts into Carrot, and clumsily lock lips to attempt mouth-to-mouth. In between heavy, orgasmic breaths, Carrot tried to assure Derpy that she was fine, but, in the kinkiest example of irony in all of literature, Derpy's efforts caused her to pass out for real.

Chapter 3: The Thief Exposed

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It was late at night, and Carrot Top was feeling restless. Following the - admittedly enjoyable - incident with the honey bucket, Carrot had convinced Derpy to take down the trap, and it seemed like Carrot & Derpy's life was about to go back to normalcy, with no more crazy hijinks that ended with Carrot Top squished up against her secret delight. But the next day, another muffin had supposedly gone missing, and Derpy went right back into her siege-defending frenzy. Derpy had set up a new trap in the kitchen, swearing on her honor as a pastry gourmand, that this one couldn't misfire.


"When someone takes a muffin off of the plate, like so" explained Derpy, helping herself to a blueberry muffin, "they have thirty seconds to punch in the secret code over here." she explained, motioning to a console on the wall that was now displaying a 30-second countdown on its screen. "I'm gonna put it in now, close your eyes, please." Carrot Top played along, but assured Derpy,

"You can tell me the code. I won't tell anyone, especially not... muffin thieves," she added, hoping that last part would sell it.

"Oh, I know you wouldn't do it on purpose, but these muffin thieves have ways of making people talk." She just happened to adjust her bra strap at that moment, causing her breasts to wobble a little.

"Touche." said Carrot silently.

"But you should be ready when the muffin thief comes. I want you to have these." She offered Carrot her handcuffs, net gun, and a billy club.

"Derpy, I don't think I need any of this..."


In the end, they had compromised on Carrot taking just the billy club, and keeping it within arm's length of her bed. It seemed like the best solution; she'd seen things gets out of hand with the other two items, but the chances of any weird erotic stuff happening with a simple rod - Carrot put that at slim-to-none. All of a sudden, Carrot heard a creaking noise coming from downstairs, and not a quiet one. It definitely sounded like footsteps on floorboards. "Probably nothing. Derpy's gotten in my head again. Still...better safe than sorry," she decided. Taking the billy club, and making her way silently down the stairs, Carrot Top nearly screamed at what she saw. Walking around like they owned the place, some prowler was heading into the kitchen. "Holy Celestia. Was Derpy right?"

Adrenaline overtook fear, and Carrot raised the club as she approached the unknown person, successfully sneaking up behind without being noticed. She grabbed the burglar by the shoulder. "Turn around very slowly, and put your hands up," she snarled. The burglar didn't even flinch. "HEY!" barked Carrot, "I'm talking to y-" She couldn't finish that sentence. What she saw next made her choke on her words in shock. She had yanked on the mystery intruder's shoulder to forcefully turn them around and face her, but couldn't believe the cross-eyed face she saw. "DERPY!?!?!?!" Her busty, bubble-headed roommate stood before her, wearing nothing but a blank expression on her face.

"Uhhhh," said Derpy, and she continued to shuffling towards the kitchen as if she hadn't even noticed Carrot Top. Carrot waved her hands in front of Derpy's face, but got absolutely no reaction from her.

"Derpy... are you sleepwalking?" Derpy muttered something unintelligible in response as she approached the muffin plate, and with precision that shouldn't have been possible in her state, picked up a muffin and took a bite. "Wait a minute," said Carrot, finally connecting the dots, "she's not just sleepwalking, she's sleep-eating! Derpy is the muffin thief!!!" As Derpy continued to munch contentedly, Carrot Top mused, "won't she be surprised when I tell her tomorrow. Still, I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting something." Then she noticed the glowing console on the wall. Just as it was programmed to do, it started the countdown when Derpy picked up the muffin, and now only 10 seconds were left. "Derpy, wake up! We need the code, now!"

"Hmmm?" asked Derpy, not appearing to be conscious.

"DERPY!!! THE CODE!!!" yelled Carrot Top, shaking Derpy. This made her boobs bounce all around, but accomplished little else. The console glowed red and made a feint but ominous buzzing noise. Time was up. Suddenly, Carrot top felt a simultaneous rib-crushing and whiplash. The trap had activated, and she and Derpy were now bound together face-to-face with thick ropes, hanging about halfway between the floor and the ceiling, and sweet Celestia, the ropes were tight. The trap had been designed to capture one muffin thief, but with two people, it was like Derpy trying squeeze her girls into a D-cup bra - which Carrot admitted, had been quite the spectacle. In short, moving around was nearly impossible, but Carrot had noticed somewhat of a silver lining. "Holy Celestia, you've got to be kidding me."

Her hands, through complete accident, had ended up on Derpy's massive mammaries. She felt a burning heat, radiating from her heart and coursing through her body, as well as a slight dampness downstairs. She tried to move her hands off, honestly she gave it her all, but no matter what she tried, she only managed to squeeze and grope Derpy harder. As her hands sank deeper, almost getting swallowed up by Derpy's enormous funbags, it was so tempting to forget about everything and just play with them all night, but she knew that was wrong. Adjusting herself so that she was just incidentally touching them, she took a deep breath.

"DER-" she was about to yell at Derpy again, but stopped herself. If she yelled anymore, she'd wake up the neighbors, they'd come running, and they'd see this. Carrot Top had to make a decision; either convince the neighbors that this wasn't what it looked like, or escape from a trap that would perplex Harry Hoofdini. Mulling it over, she decided that escape was by far the easier option. Looking around the room, she couldn't see anything sharp - they kept all the knives in drawers, which were about a foot too low for Carrot to reach. The console, though, that might be reachable, and maybe Derpy's disarm code would also undo the trap after it was sprung. "Derpy!" she tried one more time, as loud as she dared, "What. Is. The. Code????"

"M.....Muff....ffinsssss." drawled Derpy

"Muffins? Is that the code?" asked Carrot Top. But Derpy's slight moment of consciousness had passed, and she was sleeping soundly once again. "Welp, not like I've got anything better to try. Now, to get over there..." Carrot started squirming as much as the ropes would allow, sort of like doing The Worm. Gradually, she felt herself and Derpy begin to swing back and forth. How Derpy had still not woken up, she'd never know. "Sorry about this, Derpy," she whispered. Squirming harder caused her to grind up against Derpy, and squeeze her tits harder, but there was no other option. This was all business, no pleasure, she reminded herself. Eventually, she had enough pendulum momentum to swing all the way across the room. Eyes on her target, she opened her mouth wide, and clamped down on the edge of a cabinet with her teeth, and the security panel with her foot. The sudden stop caused Derpy's body to slam into Carrot, causing her to moan with pleasure, but just barely hold on with her teeth. On the console, the screen displayed "ENTER PASSWORD" and seven blank spaces. Carrot Top reached out with her toe, and typed out "M-U-F-F-I-N-D" "Thit!" she cursed through the mouthful of cabinet. The console buzzed and a message flashed on screen,

"INCORRECT PASSWORD. ELECTROSHOCK WILL BE DEPLOYED AFTER 2 MORE FAILED ATTEMPT(S)" Carrot gasped, and lost her grip, swinging back to the center of the room, whispering out a few more expletives. After getting over her frustrations and calming down (being forced to fondle Derpy's wondrous orbs had that effect) Carrot Top gave it some thought, and decided she had nothing to lose from one more try. She began shimmying again, but then paused - something was poking her. Replaying the events in her head, she realized that she had never put down the billy club, so naturally, it had gotten tangled up with her and Derpy, and now it must've shaken loose in Carrot's escape attempt. It had initially been poking Carrot's ribcage, but now it had fallen down to crotch-level

Carrot Top's preferred sleeping attire was a full-length nightshirt but nothing underneath. Now, her decision to go commando was about to become important to the plot. The handle of the club was resting innocuously against Derpy's thigh, but the business end was lined straight up with Carrot's lower lips. "No. Fucking. Way." Carrot Top tried to move every which way in hopes that the club would fall down, but it held in place. There was no two ways about it - if Carrot Top wanted another shot at the keypad, she would have to take the club inside her. Taking a deep breath, she began flexing her hip muscles again, gasping as the club began to push in past the tip, forcing her inner walls open. "I guess I'm really doing this." She swung harder and harder, as the club slid in easily, Carrot was plenty lubricated. Her swings picked up a sort of tempo, of the club slamming roughly into her, then sliding out ever so tantalizingly. She cried out with pleasure at this wonderful new sensation, really no different than riding on a sex swing while Derpy pounded her with a strap-on, and she rubbed & squeezed Derpy's breasts.

Finally, she saw the cabinet in the corner of her eye. Shaking off the love goggles, she stretched out her head, and chomped down, the abrupt braking getting her a hard thrust from the billy club. She bit down hard to keep herself steady - those teeth marks would be interesting to explain to the landlady. With a very shaky foot, she typed seven letters onto the keypad one more time, each movement flexing her love canal, allowing the club to move about slightly and tease her sensitive areas. In her near-climactic stupor, it was a long shot that she'd be able to do it...

"M-U-F-X-P-V-Q" ...and all things considered, getting three out of seven right was pretty impressive.

"INCORRECT PASSWORD. ELECTROSHOCK WILL BE DEPLOYED AFTER 1 MORE FAILED ATTEMPT(S)"

"Well great, now what?" thought Carrot Top, "...Hang on, the ropes feel a bit loose..." Observing a little closer, she realized that it was loose specifically in the damp places. "My cum is making them fall apart! All right, that gives me an idea!"

Carrot Top let go of the cabinet and kicked off, propelling herself backwards. "Here it comes." She slammed into the opposite wall, but whatever pain she felt was quickly overtook by a new sensation as Derpy and her club slammed into Carrot. And the club - fuck it, it was a dildo from now on - pushed itself all the way inside Carrot Top, and simultaneously found her clitoris. No longer caring about waking the neighbors, Carrot Top screamed out Derpy's name as she hit climax, spraying her love juices everywhere. As her senses began to dissolve, she felt herself slipping down to the floor, her body rubbing against Derpy's soft skin as she slid down. Moments after she hit the floor safely, Derpy tumbled down on top of her, pinning Carrot Top down to the floor. Derpy was somehow still asleep and unmoving, laying on top of Carrot titty-to-titty, her chest heaving with every breath. Derpy was by no means fat, but her boobs alone put her at least 30 pounds over Carrot Top. In regular circumstances it would be hard, but here, it was impossible for Carrot to get Derpy off of her.

"Guess I'm stuck like this until she wakes up," thought Carrot Top, "Derpy, you sleep as long as you like."

Epilogue: Bed Intruder

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There was a loud creak as Carrot Top’s bedroom door opened. Carrot Top shot up out of bed at the noise.

“Wh-who’s there?” she whispered out nervously. She reached for the lightswitch, but before she could turn on the lights, a leather-gloved hand grabbed her wrist roughly. Before her stood a woman - that much was clear from her curve-hugging outfit - dressed entirely in black, her face hidden by a mask equipped with night vision goggles. The lady intruder released her wrist, and made a “shush” gesture. When Carrot Top nodded in understanding, she took her other hand away from Carrot’s mouth.

“We don’t want any trouble” whispered Carrot Top, “just take whatever you want, and go.” The thief shoved Carrot Top backwards onto the bed, and climbed on top of her. Carrot Top knew she should be frightened out of her mind, but in truth, arousal was the dominant feeling right now. The thief lifted up her mask just enough to uncover her mouth, and began kissing Carrot’s neck.

“Ohh, Celestia, right there,” sighed Carrot Top as jolts of pleasure coursed through her. Consumed by the arousal of danger, she reached out for the stranger’s breasts, not knowing or caring what the sexy burglar might do in response, only entranced by how enchantingly soft they felt through the thief’s outfit. The thief let out a sigh and acred her back, pressing her breasts closer into Carrot’s hands. Carrot leaned in to kiss the mystery woman on the lips, wrapping her arms around her. It was then she noticed she could feel the woman’s long, silky hair… which shouldn’t have been possible with a face mask still covering her head. She opened her eyes and looked up, and indeed, the thief’s mask had fallen off during their forceful sex session, and her identity was no longer concealed.

“DERPY!?!”

“Oops! My bad.” she giggled, “I can’t let anyone find out my secret. Sorry, hee-hee!” Before Carrot Top could make any pleading promise that she wouldn’t tell, Derpy grabbed a pillow and shoved it into Carrot Top’s face, pressing down with all her weight. Carrot Top flailed helplessly as she felt herself cut off from air. That shock woke her up from her sleep.

Taking quick stock of the situation, she found that she was in fact being smothered by Derpy - the key differences being that Derpy was naked, asleep on top of her, and smothering her not with a bed pillow, but with her wonderful chest pillows. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Derpy had somehow sleepwalked into her room. Gently, Carrot Top shifted her weight so that Derpy slid off of her, now on her back, but sleeping as peacefully as before. She looked so comfortable and happy that Carrot couldn’t bring herself to wake Derpy and send her back to her own room. The bed wasn’t big enough for two people to have personal space, so try as she could to be accommodating, Carrot Top couldn’t make a sleeping position where she wasn’t rubbing up against Derpy’s soft skin.

She lay there trying to ignore the pleasurable sensations, when she felt Derpy shifting, and suddenly found herself completely surrounded by Derpy’s soft, supple body. In her sleep, Derpy had grabbed onto Carrot Top, and had her in the hottest spooning imaginable, her lower body grinding right up against Carrot’s, her arms wrapped lovingly around Carrot’s waist, her hands splayed across Carrot’s perky breasts and now diamond-hard nipples, and her own breasts cradling Carrot Top’s head, serving as a pillow so sensual that it left Carrot powerless to separate from this sensual embrace. Before long, the warmth and comfort had her sleeping soundly again, this time with a much more pleasant dream.