Who Is Your Daddy?

by thatonecoffeemachine

First published

Got caught by the Princess of the Sun herself, the Child of Chaos get questioned about her parents.

After getting caught by none other than Princess Celestia herself, they make a deal in which one offers the other sweets, and the others gives out the whereabouts of it's parents.

Over A Slice Of Chocolate Cake

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She was running. She was running through a void of darkness but she didn't care as she was running.

White figures, at least six of them, were chasing her from behind, laughing while at it.

"Don't run, little filly. We won't hurt you. Trust us." said a voice from behind. The figure had a crown on, black with one white jewel, star shaped, thing on it.

"Of course we won't. I won't dare to lay my beautiful hoof on something as filthy as the child of Discord!" laughed another one, instead of wearing a crown, wore a necklace with a diamond shaped jewel on it, also black and white.

"Ah can't even believe that Discord would take ya in. Surely he knew that a rock is better than ya." laughed another one, wearing a black cowboy hat, a black necklace similar to the previous one except for an apple shaped jewel on.

"Well, why wouldn't he? She's a freak just like him!" laughed another one, wearing a black necklace similar to the previous one except for a white lighting bolt shaped jewel on it.

"Stop running. Just face it, he won't come back." said the crown wearing own darkly.

"Just stop your running and join him in stone. You're a danger to Equestria, just like him. Give in."

"Give in. Give in. Give in" they chanted mockingly. Screwball ran faster, but she felt like she wasn't making any progress as she suddenly wasn't moving anymore. She was running, but running in place.

The shadows were getting closer. The mocking laughter getting louder and louder and louder.

NO......NO..... STAY AWAY..... NO....


"NO!" she shrieked. Screwy woke up, her face covered in tears and sweat. She was sleeping beside her father's statue.

It has been a few weeks since the stoning of Discord and a few weeks since she had gone homeless once more and is now living in the castle gardens with her daddy. It didn't bother her, since she had her father by her side always.

She had been lucky these few weeks since she was never caught in the garden. It was either because the guards weren't told to secure the garden and always keep an eye open or they're slacking off and not doing their job, as usual.

But what did bother her was these reoccurring nightmares of hers. It would haunt her everyday. She was afraid that maybe one day, she would get caught, her secret that she was the daughter of Discord would be revealed, and the most terrifying part, they would have to turn her to stone.

It sent a shiver down her spine when she thought about that. Seeing her father's look while being turned to stone, she couldn't even begin to imagine how it feels like to be turned to stone.

She wiped her eyes dry and her sweat away. She sniffled a little. She then looked up at her daddy.

"You won't let me get taken away, right daddy?" she asked. To some ponies, talking to inanimate objects was weird, and getting caught doing the act was even weirder. But to her, it filled her with warmth, talking to the statue she calls 'daddy'. It was for she knew that before he was a statue, he was alive. He was alive and well. He was a living being before. He had a body, he had feelings, he had a heart, he had chaos.

Now, he's nothing but a statue. A mess, a mistake created by a drunk sculptor. And all thanks to those ponies.

As if the statue replied, her sad look faded as her frown turned into a wide grin. She giggled a little. "I love you, daddy." she said as she jumped up onto the base of the statue and gave the statue a hug.

After the hug, she let go of the statue. She jumped off of the base of the statue and looked up into the sky. The moon was still up, that meant that she woke up in the middle of the night.

She felt her stomach grumble. She was hungry. She didn't eat dinner either.

"Stay here, daddy. I'm going to go and get something to eat." she told the statue as she walked off, going to the doors that led entrance into the castle. Since it was hard for her to magic up food, she would usually sneak into the castle's kitchen and take some food. She would usually take pastries since that was the only thing she could easily take.

Luckily, she had never been caught for stealing food. Or maybe they know and they just won't mention it. Who knows?

She walked down the hall leading to the door. The golden door of the kitchen. She could smell the delicious goods from miles away. The smell of sweet, yummy pastries.

She walked to the door. She was hoping of getting a chocolate muffin too if lucky.


She opened the door. It was dark since it was the middle of the night. No sign of anypony, but the smell of pastries were close.

She walked into the kitchen. After a few weeks of sneaking into the kitchen and stealing food, she knew how the kitchen worked.

She saw a switch on the wall and flicked it. It turned on the lights in the kitchen.Under the light, she saw something that made her mouth water.

A slice of chocolate cake, sat alone on the table. With no one there. All alone, the delicious treat sat there.

She had never seen anything much beautiful than that slice of cake. The creamy looking frosting, the mesmerising smell of chocolate, the dollop of chocolate whip cream to top it off. She could almost taste it.

She walked to the kitchen table quietly and slowly. She gave no thought on why a perfectly delicious looking slice of cake was on the table with nobody there.

She reached the table. She climbed on a stool that was conveniently placed there and looked at the delicious treat sitting there on the table. She drooled.

She couldn't wait any longer as she took the cake with her hooves and shoved it into her mouth. She ate like a horse, literally. She ate like she had never eaten in a week or so. She didn't care how messy she was, she was eating that cake one way or another.

"Hmm..... Seems like you're enjoying your cake there." said a voice from behind. This made Screwy stop.

Hoofsteps could be heard coming closer and closer. Screwy could feel her heart beat faster and faster.

Screwy shut her eyes, not wanting to know what or who is behind her. "Napkin?" asked the voice.

Wut?

Screwy opened her eyes and saw the Princess. Princess Celestia. She was levitating a piece of napkin towards Screwy with her magic, and wearing a smirk.

Screwy shut her eyes again once more. "It's okay there, young one. I won't hurt you." said the Princess. Screwy took a deep breath and opened her eyes. The Princess was still standing there, levitating the napkin, but was now wearing a soft smile rather than a smirk.

"So, are you the little troublemaker which the chefs complained to steal food from our kitchen?"

Screwball waited a few seconds before hopping off the stool quickly and running to the garden doors. It took Celestia by surprise. But she didn't feel like chasing the filly as she let her run.


Screwball ran to the door. She didn't know if the princess was chasing her or not. But she didn't care as she kept running. Running to where exactly? Back to her daddy's statue. She didn't want to leave the castle and leave her Daddy all alone in the gardens.

And another thing was that, even if her father was in stone, she felt safe to be around him. He was Discord, the Lord Of Chaos, but to her he was just someone who actually knows what real fun is.

After a few minutes of running, she had finally made it. She was there now, collapsing onto the ground, panting like crazy. And in front of her, there he stood, the Statue Of Discord.

After a few minutes of panting and trying to think straight again, she suddenly bolted up, got close to the statue and jumped onto the base of it.

"Daddy! I don't know what to do anymore!" she shrieked in a panicky voice as she looked like she had grasshoppers glued to her hooves. "I messed up big time! And it's even bigger than that time I accidentally filled my room with chocolate." Screwy paused. She then sat down. "Actually, that wasn't bad. I might do it again." She said before she bolted up again and became all jumpy. "That's not the point! Point is I'm dead! I'm screwed! Literally! R.I.P, Screw-wy!"

"I'm doomed! I can't believe it! And all because I ate that slice of cake! It was that cakes fault! I knew it!" She shouted at the thought of that heartless and cruel cake that did that to her. She then covered her muzzle. "I shouldn't talk too loud. Oh no. What if she've heard me ? What if she's coming? What if she's behind us?"

"Like this?" asked Celestia, now behind the statue and the filly. The filly looked in that direction.

"Yeah, like that." She said nonchalantly. But her eyes then widened as she soon realised who she was talking to. "AHHHH!!"

She fell off the base. She fell with a thud, a painful sounding thud. Celestia left the back of the statue and rushed beside the filly in concern. "Are you-"

"GO AWAY!" shouted the filly as she backed up quickly, rubbing her sore back from the fall, a few tears falling from her cheeks. "YOU HURT MY DADDY!! YOU'RE NOT GONNA HURT ME!!"

Celestia was now confused and shocked by the sudden outburst and accusation. "Dear child, what are you rambling about? I have no idea who your daddy is and as far as I know, I had never hurt anypony. And why the thought of me wanting to hurt you?"

"Y-you're gonna turn me into stone, aren't ya?" asked Screwy, still scared that the princess was using a sneak attack. She would also check behind her every ten seconds just in case Princess Luna comes from behind and use those blasted coloured jewels to turn her into stone.

"And why would I do such a thing?" she asked the filly. She then gave a glance at Discord.

Screwy could tell that the Princess was eyeing Discord. "Why wouldn't you? You've done it to my poor daddy, you might even do it to me."

This confused Celestia even more. "And who's is your so-called 'daddy' ?" she asked.

"You're looking right at him." said Screwy. This just confused the already confused princess even more.

"What are you........" asked Celestia. It then hit her. She was staring at Discord..... the filly said that she was looking right at her daddy..... ".......talking about...... Discord...... he's your..... h-he's your father?" asked the princess.

Screwball quickly put a hoof onto her mouth. Why did she say that?! She spilled the beans. The beans that was not supposed to be spilled. The beans that was not to be spilled and save her from getting turned to stone. How dare her mouth betray her!

"Is he or not?!" asked Celestia in a demanding tone. Screwy tried to think of a way or something to say to avoid the Princess finding out.

"Pffft! What! What are you talking about? Have you taken your meds yet cause granny I have no idea what you're talking about." said Screwball. She added the last sentence to rile the Princess up. And it seemed to have worked as she saw the Princess gasp.

Celestia was shocked by the sudden rudeness of the filly. Where in Equestria did that come from?

"That was not very nice, young lady." said Celestia in a serious tone. She felt like the filly had not have any morals and respect for their elders as the filly just stood there, her propellor hat's propellor spinning like crazy after that statement amd wearing a wide grin.

"Yea. And so was turning my da- someone dear to me into STONE! How about you just take your walking stick and leave me alone now, would ya?" said Screwy, not feeling like she had pushed it too far.

Celestia felt like she was burning as the stubborn filly made her even more mad than before. "You know, this castle does not belong to you, nor do you live in the castle in any way. I could escort you to the dungeons for trespassing under private property or you could let me have a talk with your parents. Now choose." she said, tired of the filly's stubbornness and lack of morals.

Screwy gave out a yawn. "And since when has this place been a private property? I've seen a few visitors coming in here and taking pictures and stuff." she shrugged.

Celestia's voice became a little more louder and sharper. "They get permission to enter. You on the other hoof just came out of nowhere, stole food from the kitchen, and had just insulted me. If you wish to not get into even bigger trouble, I suggest you tell me the names of your parents and who they are and let me have a talk about your behaviour." said Celestia.

Screwy felt a little angry at the Princess for not just going away. She also felt scared that if she kept this up any longer, she could be thrown into the castle 'dungeons'. She had passed by it before while exploring the castle for a while. She does not wish to see it again.

Princess Celestia wants to talk to her parents. Well, jokes on her. She don't have any parents. After a while of thinking about that joke, she suddenly felt that it was rather sad than funny. Ouch.

So, what should she tell the Princess? Should she say that 'Hey my dad's Discord and he's right here so go ahead' or what? If she does, a creppiling feeling of her being turned into stone after telling the princesses the truth was near.

"Uhh........"

"Young filly, I will have enough of this nonsense! Tell me the names of your parents and where they are. Now!"

"Uhhhhhh....." she then started to dig her hoof into the ground. "How bout..... we settle this over a slice of chocolate cake?" she asked.

Celestia's anger and annoyance of the filly's carelessness faded a little, as her sharp tome changed into a soft one. "Okay."

"......wait really?" asked Screwy in surprise.

"Let me make a deal with you. If you tell me who your parents are, no games and no backing down, I'll offer you another slice of that delectable looking slice of cake on the kitchen counter you ate previously. And if you want, many other sweets as well." said Celestia as she grinned at the filly's reaction.

Screwy drooled as she heard the last part. 'Many other sweets' looped in her head. She felt a stomach grumble again.

"Uhhhh......"

"Tick tock, young one."

"Uhhhhhhhh....."

"I'm gonna count to three."

"Wait, but-"

"One."

"Is there an-"

"Two."

"I haven't deci-"

"Thr-"

"I'LL TAKE IT!" shouted the filly in a hurry. She then looked at the Princess and laughed sheepishly. "Uhm.... I'll..... take it?"

"Very well. Come on now. Follow me to the kitchen. Oh, and on the way," Princess Celestia magicked up a scroll and a quill along with it. "Make a list of what you want."

She used her magic and levitated it towards Screwy, who took it with her hooves. Celestia then began to walk and lead the way.

Screwy looked at Celestia, then to the scroll in her hooves, then back to Celestia. She then looked up at the face of her father's statue. "Do you think this is a good idea?"

No response.

She then looked back at the scroll and smirked. "Yea, it's a good idea."


During the walk to the kitchen, the filly watched as Celestia ordered a few of the guards that they happened to pass by and were on duty to get a few of the chefs into the kitchen. She then asked Screwy if she had listed the things she wanted. Screwy nodded. She then gave the guard the scroll and also told the guards to tell them that she was sorry for the inconvenience caused but it is for a serious matter that she has to solve immediately.

Screwball snickered when Celestia said 'serious matter', which got her a few glances from the guards that Celestia was talking to. After she finished giving orders and started to walk away, Screwy started to talk.

"Serious matter?" she snickered.

"Why, yes, of course. A starving child isn't a serious matter?" said the Princess as she smirked.

When they reached the kitchen, Screwy saw ponies in chef outfits running around the kitchen. "Wowzers. They got here quick. Do you ponies have an elevator in here or something?"

"A what?" asked Celestia, confused.

"It's something my daddy had in his house and- nevermind. Forget I ever said anything." said Screwy as she put her focus back on the chefs.

A stallion suddenly came up to them. He was wearing the same outfits like the other chefs, white hats and uniform, but what made this chef stand out was the red ribbon that went around his hat and his shirt collar. And his mustache that looked like that weird Mario guy that her dad showed to her. He said that it was called a human. She shivered at the thought of Mario.

The chef that came up to them also had what looked like bags below his eyes. He looked tired, but forced a smile for the Princess.

"Ah, mama-de-mia! If it isn't-a the beautiful-a Princess Celestia! Ordering sweets and pastries in the middle of the night." he said the last sentence with a hint of annoyance and tiredness, although the first two sentences sounded like he was full of energy and joy to see the Princess.

"I'm so sorry to bother you at a time like this, Mr Mario. But I have an important matter with this young filly that needs to be discussed about immediately as well."

Screwball almost laughed out loud. Mr Mario. Coincidence? I tHinK NoT! But she tried her hardest to hold her composure.

"This little-a filly....... is the important-a matter?" asked Chef Mario, looking at the filly. "This is a joke, right-a Princess?" he asked for clarification as his left eye-lid twitched.

"Why, this is not but a mere joke, but a serious matter."

"Like what? She lost a toy in-a the gardens? Princess, I know you haven't the very good intentions but-a, waking us chefs in the middle of the night and giving us a list of foods that would take ages to ready is tiring. You get that, right Princess?"

"And you get that I said this was a serious matter, right?"

"Well..uh..yes but-"

"Now, now Mr Mario. What matters now is this little filly's problem that would need to be discussed about immediately. So please excuse us, Mr Mario. We'll be heading our way to the dining room now. Again sorry for the inconvenience caused." said Princess Celestia as she pulled the filly aside and walked to the dining room. The chef grumbled for a while before proceeding to walk back to his station and make the food.


Princess Celestia pushed the door open to the dining room as the filly gazed into the room. "....woah."

The room was of fine luxury, from a hoofmade carpet that went from the entrance to around the dining table and to the other entrance as well. The dining table itself was gold platted with the corners studded with gstines of all kinds of colours. The chairs as well were gold platted and the edges were studded with gemstones. At each sitting would be a table mat and a red napkin that would match the red cover of the chair.

"Woah indeed. The decorations are simply divine. Although I must say this must be-"

"Rather pricey? You betcha Princess. I mean, do you really eat here everyday? I don't dare even going near it."

"It is expensive looking. But it's what other royals think is 'luxury among its finest'. It was more boring looking before. This is because tomorrow is the day where I would have a large dinner with rulers from all around the world in celebration for Discord's defeat. I know it's been weeks but places from all over Equestria have just recovered from that. Discord really did do alot of damage for places like those." she sighed. "If only he understood the suffering of ponies that he brought."

She then brought Screwy over to the table as Screwy sat on one of the seats that was beside the seat that was by the edge of the table. Screwy sat down slowly, not wanting to damage the seats because of the expensive looking cover.

Screwy then thought about what Celestia said. The suffering that he brought among ponykind. Had he really done that much? He seemed like a nice guy to her, he treats her well. Does he only do that for the fact that she's his daughter? Is that why she doesn't know?

She then thought of the reason. Of wh he would do such a thing. To hurt ponykind. She then looked up at Celestia, and receiving a look back. "Is there something that you would like to say?"

Screwy hesitated. "Well...uhm...-"

The doors of the other entrance flung open as chefs roll in trolleys packed with food. There were five trolleys altogether, and all trolleys jam packed with food. Sweets, pastries, pies, oh my!

Screwy looked at the trolleys with a large grin. Celestia too looked surprise at the large amount of food but giggled at the filly's reaction.

"Seems like you're in for a feast." said Celestia as she held a hoof to her muzzle to stop herself from giggling.

The chefs put all the dishes onto the dining table with quick pace. They all too seem tired. After setting the dishes down, they exited the kitchen. Some also sighed to be able to finally go home and rest.

Screwy looked at the delicacies placed on the table in front of her. She licked her lips as she dug in.

Celestia watched as the small filly indulged herself in the feast. She giggled as the filly seemed like she hadn't eaten in ages even though she had eaten a slice of cake moments ago.

"Slow down, don't rush or you'll choke." said Celestia.

The filly lifted her head from the pastry that she was currently eating. "Aren't you gonna have some?"

"Oh, no. I've already eaten dinner and-"

"You don't expect me to eat all of this on my own, right? Come on, Princess."

"Oh, but I can't-"

"Come on, Princess. Are you scared of gaining a few pounds? Just have a bite and you'll feel it calling you."

Celestia looked at the filly, then to the plates of pastries, then to the filly. She sighed as she used her magic and levitated a cream bun. "You're not making my diet any easier."

"You're on a diet?"

"Yes, I suppose. Luna thinks I'm gaining weight."

"Pffft." said Screwy as she took another cinnamon roll. "Really? You don't look half bad." she said as she bit into it.

"I can't tell if I should take that as an insult or a compliment." said Celestia as she smiled.

"Neither do I, really." said Screwy as she took another bite. "Wow this is unaturally amazing."

"You know, you kinda remind me of someone. An old friend of mine. Your silly little attitude, your curiosity, your weird fondness towards anything sweet. He was a dear friend." she sighed. "But the horror and destruction he inflicted on ponies had traumatised many. I wonder if he ever realised that."

Screwy knew what she was talking about. Who she was talking about. And something she said made her feel off somehow. The fact that she said horror and destruction. What did he do that is so hurtful towards others?

She put her almost finished cinnamon roll down."When did you became friends with him?"

".....uh, well. To begin," she started. She hadn't expect a question like this so soon. But she hadn't really not been expecting it. "When I was but a mere child, I met him in the gardens of the castle. It used to be much different than now. A lot more bigger and...... so much more beautiful. Anyway, I found him there spying on me and my sister while having our own tea party. He was different than the one that walks and breathes now. He was much more interested in what my sister and I called 'friendship' before than he did now. Before, he was always thinking and fantasising about making new friends. But before, he was unable to do so due to my parents not trusting him nor in the know of his existence. During that era, ponies were at war against the draconequuine species."

"Now however, he seems to be afraid of it. Because if you may or may not heard, he was defeated by the elements of Harmony. And what powers the elements is the magic of friendship. Knowing that the magic of friendship had defeated him, I think there's a possibility that this is why he never wanted to give friendship a chance anymore."

Screwy looked down. She looked at her cinnamon bun. "........what had he ever done?"

Celestial seemed hesitant to reply. "Well, for one he was very dishonest. When we were little, we would always meet up at the forest. And he would always gift us things such as toys or candy or whatever he could get his hooves on. When we would ask him where he got these items, he would say he made them. His magic was strong, to say the least. But he didn't have much control over it, so really, making things himself is hard. It's not impossible, but it's hard. It's was after a few weeks of hearing the news about ponies' items and goods getting stolen that we realised where he actually got the things from."

"He was also someone who would terrorise others simply because it's 'fun' for the sake of his own entertainment. And he always complains to us about the insults and harassment he's been getting from ponies. He never learns, really. What did ponykind ever do to him?" said Celestia in a frustrated tone. Celestia looked towards Screwy, who seemed to look hurt.

"Is something bothering you?" asked Celestia in concern.

Screwy looked at her hooves. She really was hurt. She felt hurt from what Celestia had said about her father. She felt like giving her a piece of her mind, but she didn't feel like disrespecting the princess. But then, she felt like she couldn't just leave it. Yea, she'll just go for her first plan.

".....well. Are you sure that ponies had never hurt him before? And, why do you talk about ponykind like it's the most greatest thing ever? Like there is no other species besides that? Aren't you aware that he's somepony too? Or do you just think because he's not a pony, then he a bad meanie? You say that ponies don't hurt him, how do you know that? Daddy told me that ponies are mean! Ponies titled themselves as do-gooders even though they would criticise others for their looks."

"Daddy told me that ponies used to always hurt and insult him. About the way he looks, the way he is. He's different, and he knows that! That's what makes him special! Ponies think they are all great and stuff and.... and I'm sick of it! Just cause you're different, you'll get treated differently! Just cause you're different, others would think differently about you! Just cause you're different, others would think you're a bad guy! Just cause you're different....." she started to tear up ".....you'll believe them. You'll believe that you're different. You'll believe that you're a freak. A loser, a sucker. Daddy told me..... daddy told me..." tears started to fall ".....he told me to stay strong. Because no matter what, ponies could never hurt me. He told me to embrace the fact that I am different, because it shows that I'm better than a petty pony. And daddy...."

She shut her eyes as she tried to hold her tears, but failed. "I miss my daddy."

"Shhh..... Don't cry, little one. It's alright." said Celestia's motherly voice. Screwy also felt something hugging her. She opened her eyes a little, which made her tears flow harder.

Celestia was out of her seat, and hugging her. Comforting her.

"Heavens above, you are the Child Of Discord." she said as she raised the filly's head to look at her eye-to-eye.

Screwy realised her mistake. She had let her secret out. And she can't take it back anymore. She hugged Celestia even tighter. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sneak into the castle gardens. I didn't mean to steal food. I'm- I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I didn't really get your name, didn't I?"

"Screwball."

"Did Discord name you that?"

"No. The ponies from my old orphanage did." she said, which made Celestia pity her even more.

They both hugged in silence. Celestia comforting her, Screwy letting it all out. Celestia had known already. She had known already that Discord was her father. She just needed the proof. And she got it already.

"P-princess?" said Screwball, breaking the silence.

"Yes?"

"Did daddy actually do all those stuff?"

"....." Celestia didn't respond at first. She thought carefully of her answer. ".....I can't say that it's true, neither can I say that it's false. And I don't feel like doing so. I don't want to accuse him of anything."

"But was he really a dear friend of yours before?" asked Screwy.

"....yes. Yes he was."

"But daddy told me that he didn't believe in friendship. Because you couldn't count on it. It's useless. It's pointless and a waste of energy."

"That's my fault as well." sighed Celestia. "I was the one that broke our friendship. I was the one that lost his trust. I was the one who abandoned him in his time of need even when he did alot for me, even risking his own safety. It was my fault that he turned out this way."

Screwy wiped her eyes as she gave a weak grin. "Yep. All your fault." she said with a croaked voice as she patted Celestia's back.


Celestia offered Screwball a place to stay in the castle, which she instantly accepted and thanked the Princess for. Celestia tucked the filly in her own bed, for the the guest's rooms were occupied because of tomorrow's celebration.

After tucking her in, Celestia decided to meet Discord in the gardens.

When she reached the statue, she gazed at him. His terrified expression. It made Celestia regret the things she did wrong. The things she did wrong towards their friendship. But even though she made him this way, he still deserved it. And she kept trying to remind herself that too. That he deserved it.

But the more she reminded herself about that, the more she got reminded of Screwball. This statue, the one that stood in front of her, the one who brought sorrow among ponies, he happened to be her father.

Celestia felt her eyes water. She did this. She did this to a child's father. But he deserved it. The child did not. The child did not deserve losing her father. Again.

She got close to the statue. Her tears falling. "You never changed, did you?"

No response.

"You still care about others. You really did, did you?"

No response.

"Perhaps this was my fault. I'm sorry, dear friend. I'm so so sorry."

Still no response. She then put her hoof on the statue. She touched the base.

"I'll fix this soon. I promise, Discord."