What is one day upon the thousands that have already passed? And yet the thousands yet to come. It may seem pretty insignificant, but then again that would mean that the very first day and the very last one mean no more than all the days between. But how could that make any sense? It was beyond me, I wouldn't be what you would call a philosopher. Not that any of that really matters. I mean I guess it could if you wanted it to. Never mind. I stood up looking over the stone wall that overlooked the entire town of Pony Ville below. Pony Ville.. was that one word or two? I couldn't remember seeing any signs around so how did any pony even know what it was called? Maybe it started off being named Horse Town or something, but over time as the first settlers died, ponies began to forget the name.. and then a new name wa- no I'm thinking to much.. It is a rather silly thing. Silly.. silly.. thats what ponies would call me. Not because it was my name, and I don't even think it was for my actions either, I'm not really sure, Im not silly am I? Look there’s a tree over there. I looked up, subconsciously answering my own thoughts with my actions. It sure did look like a tree.. but I would know better! Quickly I picked up my wooden sword and in one swift move, hit the tree as hard as I could.
“Ha.. that should teach you for lurking around here!” I smiled to myself, spitting out the sword, quite pleased with what I had accomplished. I looked closer at the place I had struck the tree, a piece of bark had fallen off. I picked that up in my mouth and quickly brought it back behind the wall. Then holding it between my hooves I held it up to the sun, counting all the holes that allowed light through. Sixteen.. that must mean something.. hmm. Then I quickly disposed of the clue, after adding the number to my memory.
“Hello there!”
I jumped up in surprise, and turned to the sound of the voice. It was Flash Light, age 7 with a milky white coat and a bright gold mane. He had a cutie mark of, who would guess, a flashlight. Gee how do ponies get their names to match up with their marks like that? It never really occurred to me as my cutie mark was simply a golden horse shoe with a four leaf clover on top. You’d think that the two “lucky” objects would cancel out, but eh who believes in luck anyways.
I must have stood there thinking too long as I looked back and saw that Flash Light had disappeared among the bushes on the other side of the stone wall. I looked over the wall again and saw his head pop out of the bushes with something in his mouth.
“Whaf isf dis” he said, speaking around the object in his mouth.
Quickly I recognized it, it was the 16 hole bark I had taken from the tree! How could he have found it so easily? I had to do something quick otherwise he would figure out what was going on.
“Ahm.. well it looks like a piece of tree” I said rather quickly, also realizing my mistake.
“I mean bark.. not like the dog but tree skin.. yeah..”
He spat out the piece of bark and eyed it suspiciously. Poking it a few times with his hoof.
“I like it.” he said with a small smile. Then he jumped out of the bush and headed towards the tree. I sighed slightly and turned back to what I was doing before. You can trust me can’t you? I peeked over the wall again to watch Flash Light. He seemed pretty happy. So I decided to sneak up behind him and take back my sword. Taking it slowly at first, using the tall grass as cover I was able to make it sixteen inches behind him without him even noticing. Then quickly I picked up the sword in my mouth and struck him across the back of the head. He fell quite easily and laid there dazed. I loomed over him before realizing what I had done. Filled with regret I ran back behind the wall and hid. I felt sorry for him. Some older ponies nearby looked up and quickly rushed to his side trying to figure out what had happened. He was fine as it seemed but the uneasiness of it all stuck with me, it was all too sudden and evil. I closed my eyes for a second and then walked over to the ponies. They were all talking.
“What happened here??” That was Flash Light’s mother.
“Im not sure, I think he's unconscious.” A worried voice that came from whats her face. I could never remember.
“Maybe he fell from the tree.” Suggested Shiny, a unicorn oddly fascinated in anything reflective.
Suddenly they all turned towards to me, completely catching me off guard. Their faces went from confusion to quick realization. They picked up Flash Light and hurried off towards Ponyville, which I had finally concluded was only one word.
It was always quite lonely next to the stone wall, my only friend, he never really spoke that much, but he would always listen, and that was more than what I could ever ask for. I had studied the wall countless times, counting each and every stone and storing all my valuables within the small fissures. Not that I really had anything others would consider valuable that is. Why would any pony think I had anything valuable? That’s nonsense. I found myself sweating, worried I almost gave away my secrets to myself. I took a few deep breaths and decided to count all the stones again. The stones were stacked two high and eight wide, resulting in a total of sixteen stones. It was strange to why a wall was needed here in the first place, but it was my home, and my home it will stay. I took a few steps back until the tree on the other side of the wall was perfectly aligned with the wall. Everything aligned correctly and I was pleased.
After some time had passed I began to think about Flash Light, why would any pony hurt him of all ponies? Then I thought back to my wooded sword, reaching over with my hoof I picked it up and held it in the slowly fading sunlight. The sword had a small chip from where he was hit. I stared at it for a while before realizing something was watching me. I turned and saw Flash Light there on the wall, staring at me with his big round eyes.
“Hello” he said with a hint of laughter.
“How long were you here?”
“I don’t know, but my mom says to stay away from you, but I think you’re nice.”
I thought about that for a moment. Tilting my head as I continued to look at him.
“I think you’re nice too…”
He let out short squeak and jumped down next to me. I continued to look at him as he walked around me. Suddenly I heard another voice, coming from the other side of the wall.
“Flash are you here? I told you not to come out this late!” It was clearly his mom and from what I figured, she was here looking for him. Flash Light was about to respond when I found myself covering his mouth and pushing him into the bush. He suddenly looked scared. So I held him there until I was sure his mother had left. Then I slowly let go and looked at him. He stared back seemingly unsure of what to make of this.
“Where did she go?” He asked, poking his head out of the bush.
“She’s gone..” I whispered.
“I want to go home.”
“You can’t.”
“Why?”
“I.. im not sure.. you just can’t…”
There was long silence as we sat next to each other. He was itching to do something, I could feel it as he nervously tapped his hoof.
“Are you okay?” I asked him. He slowly nodded then looked back down towards Ponyville. It was almost completely dark now, the sun was gone and the moon had not yet appeared into the sky. Hmm the sky.. I had looked at it many times, each time I would see something different. I never understood why the stars would disappear when the sun came, nor why the sun and moon would never be together. Maybe they were scared of each other, or maybe one was scared of the other.
“Which way do you think it is?”
Flash Light looked up at me and for a second, he thought he had missed something.
“To my house?”
“No, with the sun and moon”
“I dont know what you’re talking about” He turned back to face Ponyville.
We sat in silence again until the moon showed up. Flash Light was beginning to feel uneasy. He went up close to me as if there was something in the darkness out to get him.
“Please take me home” He whimpered.
“Where do you live?”
He lifted up a hoof and pointed off to a house close to the path that lead directly to the wall where I lived. I thought about it for a second then finally came to a decision.
“Well alright.. I know the safest way to get there.” I said, noting that I had never been to Ponyville in the short amount of time I had been able to remember. It was quite easy to fake it however, I was only a few years older than him so to him anything I said was pretty much a fact. I took him by the hoof and together we walked down the hill and passed the tree, but as soon as all that was behind me I felt so exposed, almost as if I had lost all my fur. I stopped almost too suddenly, turning back. Flash Light looked up towards me suddenly worried, I faked a smile and continued on with him. Knowing that he had his faith in me gave me some confidence and so we carried on.
After what seemed like an eternity (it was only about a 5 minute walk), we made it to the outskirts of Ponyville. The houses looked so much clearer and bigger from where we stood and I suddenly felt curious. I needed to explore, there were so many things to count, and lots of things to discover. Then I remembered our mission, returning Flash Light to his mother. I recreated the view from atop the hill by the wall and zoomed in until the house he pointed to earlier was recognizable from the distance I was currently at. So that would mean his house was right over… there! Just 3 feet away. Slowly we walked up to the house and looked inside, Flash Light’s mom was pacing around the center of the room, looking clearly distraught.
“I think you should go on now… your mom is worried.” I nudged him towards the door.
“But what about you? Where do you sleep?”
“Dont worry about that, I’ll be fine” I replied, with almost too much false certainty, “I’ll be fine… go on now, go see your mom.”
He took one last look back and me and then disappeared in the doorway. I waited until the door closed then I put my ear next to it. The sounds inside weren't quite clear, but it was somewhat understandable.
“Flash?? Where have you been!” She seemed angry, but then sighed and that anger was replaced with relief.
“I was with the filly by the wall on top of the hill.”
“I told you not to go by her! She is not safe to be around, she has no parents and she's a wild creature without a mind, it’s only a matter of time before she is gone anyways.”
“But mom… she’s nice, she said I was nice too.”
“Nonsense.. I want you to-“ The voice trailed off, probably stating the punishment and some orders for bed. I had heard enough, I never understood.. why was it this way. I couldn't accept it, no it couldn't be true! Slowing I began to pick up speed, heading back towards my home. What does she mean by gone? What is wrong with me? Am I really that bad? My mind was racing with questions, I couldn't stop, no not until I was home. I sped past the tree and quickly dove behind the wall, placing my hoof on one of the stones to hold me steady. I had to busy myself, fog my mind so I wouldn't have to think about any of this, make my mind completely shut down. I always knew the truth… but oh how hard a truth becomes when it is said by some pony else.
I woke up the next day feeling not rested at all, I thought about it for a moment when everything from last night hit me. I laid there for hours, completely unaware of the passing of the time. What had happen honestly wasn’t anything new, but for some reason it now really bothered me. I was angry, some pony is going to answer for this. And it wasn’t going to be me. Though I'm sure that was clear. Why did life have to be like this, was I born any more different than every pony else I saw? Are we all here for the same reason or is there even a reason? Why am I so upset?!?!! That last thought came out screaming in my head, I had always loved how I narrated and thought at the same time.
Slowly I poked my head over the stone wall, that tree was still there. It annoyed me. Picking up my sword I ran at it and hit it as hard as I could, a piece of bark broke loose and hit me in the face.
“Oww” I rubbed my eye “You won’t get away with this!”
I gave the tree one more hit and picked up the bark that flew off the tree. Holding it up to the sun only revealed eight holes in the piece. Interesting. I looked through the bush looking for the piece I had found yesterday, but as it turned out, it was somehow on the wall… Almost as if someone had picked it up with their mouth and placed it there for examination, that wasn’t a good sign, but luckily whoever had done it didn’t have the second piece which I had.
Slowly I put the two pieces on top of each other and held both to the sun, with the older one in front of the new one. Surprisingly only eight of the holes were covered up, the rest still allowing light through. Doing so the other way also resulted in eight holes, but that didn’t make any sense to me. I put the two pieces into a small opening between two of the rocks in the wall, that should keep them safe. Actually it needs to be safer, just incase someone happens to look. So I grabbed some mud and smeared it covering the crack completely.
“Sorry wall, I just need to make sure these stay safe, I hope you understand.”
Once that was finished I turned back and leaned against the wall holding my back hoofs in the air. I sat there for a while thinking, the sun was moving pretty fast across the sky, or maybe that was just time passing. I decided to look over the wall again, ignoring the tree this time. There was Ponyville down below, and beyond that were mountains, and beyond that was the sky. I wonder how far the sky goes, maybe one day I could follow it and be happy. That was a nice thought. I closed my eyes for a bit and sat there.
When I opened my eyes I saw two big eyes right in front of me, I wasn't scared though I recognized those eyes.
“Hey Flash Light...” I said, he was hanging upside-down from the wall so I held him and gave him a hug. He was surprised by the action as much as I was but he returned it anyways.
“I thought you couldn't be he-“
“My mom said I could” He said cutting me off almost too quickly. Something wasn't right, I could tell he was lying and from the looks of it he could tell he was too, but I guess he was too young to really understand.
“Well okay.. I don't really have anything planned, what do you want to do?”
He shrugged, then looked over at the mud that was covering the secret pieces of bark.
“The wall is dirty.”
“Oh uh.. no I was painting my wall a different color..”
“Why didn't you use paint?”
“Mud is uh cheaper and more effective.”
“Whats effective mean?”
“I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.”
He didn't seem too bothered that I didn't explain it to him, personally I would have been annoyed if someone was using big words that I didn't know, but I guess thats because it gives off a sort of patronizing effect. Oh but he was bothered by the mud on the wall, don't tell him, but I think he knows something is up. I watched him go up to the wall and wipe the mud off and look inside the crack. He instantly saw the two pieces and picked them up in his mouth smiling.
“You have more of them! Can I keep them? Pleaseee.”
“uh.. um I uh sure.. I guess so.”
I couldn't believe it, my own mouth just betrayed me! But aw look how happy he is. No thats beside the point, I will get them back, just need to come up with a way.. nothing too complicated. Ill work on that later.
“You should go back to your mother now.” I said almost too hopefully, my first plan was that he would leave them behind and hurry home, but he kept them pretty close to him. He nodded and began to move down the mountain, towards his home. I had to do something quick, I looked around in hopes of finding something I could use until.. aha! My sword! My mind completely stopped, instantly memories of me hitting him came back. I had forgotten… that was impossible.. how could I have forgotten.. but.. I guess that you'd never know that you've forgotten something unless you were able to remember it. I turned back and looked at Flash Light slowly get smaller, he'd have to get pretty small to make it to Ponyville because at my current size I could squash the entire town. I don't know… maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Sometimes I wish I could be like every pony else. I feel so alone, alone by myself. Maybe it’s not so bad to be different, but oh it is. No one cares if I were gone or if I were here. Maybe it would be simpler if I could just disappear. The anger rises up in me, I seek revenge. But then the tides of sorrow puts out my flames, there is nothing here for me. Yet not even my sorrow can comfort me. The only thing you could do to punish me, is a life of eternity.
The sun was beginning to set, and I grew more impatient by the second. I had to retrieve the two pieces of bark before it was too late. Why? Well that was none of your business. My plan was simple, sneak into the house of Flash Light, retrieve the two objects and make sure not to leave a trace of my visit. Sounds simple enough? Good, or at least, I hoped it was. That was all I had left. One last look over the wall showed the sun completely gone for it had disappeared behind the horizon, night swept in encasing all of Equestria into darkness. Now was the perfect time to strike. I had been prepared hours before sunset, anxiously waiting the comforting blanket of the dark. With mud covering my face, and my sword strapped onto my back, I was ready for anything. Now it was time to begin the journey.
I began to slowly head down the hill, one hoof after the other, not making a sound. I knew that it would be impossible to hear me anyways until I was right outside Ponyville, but one can never be too careful, especially on a mission such as mines. I hurried along the path until I was right outside of the house. There were still some lights shining inside which had me curious enough to look through the window. Inside I saw Flash Light sitting on a desk with a pencil in his mouth. It looked like it was trying to write something, but it was impossible to tell from where I was. The light was coming from a flashlight that had an uncanny resemblance to his cutie mark. I looked down at my cutie mark, rubbing it a few times for luck. Suddenly I heard some hoof steps coming from behind me, oh what my luck! I ducked into the flower bin right next to the house, the darkness held me close. I watched as the pony picked up a watering can and began to water the flowers. What a strange time to be watering flow- I shrieked, they were watering me! And that water was cold! The figure seemed quite scared of me, which gave me enough time to jump up and run around to the other side of the house leaving them in confusion. I took a few seconds to take in everything I saw, anything could be useful right now. There was a ladder leading to the roof of the house, a few crates, another flower bin, and a pile of tools. Naturally I took the escape, the ladder, I had barely made it to the top before the pony came around looking for what had caused it. They gave up after a minute or so then headed back around, I stayed on the roof until I heard the door click shut.
I hurried down the ladder, practically knocking it over onto the pile of tools, and Celestia knows how loud that would have been. I peeked through the back window, this one showed what I could guess was Flash Light’s room, only reason why was because he was in it. I reached up to knock on the window to say hello just to quickly remember my mission. I looked out of his bedroom door and I could see the two wooden pieces on the table just before the door closed. Flash Light crawled into his bed and turned off his light, rendering the entire window useless, it was time to break in. I snuck around back to the front of the house where I was earlier, the watering can was left on the floor like a tossed tin can. I quietly put it next to the flower bin then crawl up next to the window. I caught a last glimpse of Flash’s mom turn around the corner and head into a room next to Flash Light. They must have already said goodnight to each other. I held my breath and counted sixteen seconds. Then I reached for the door and applied some pressure to the knob, it turned slightly before locking. Id have to find another way in- oh wait, the window was slightly open. I wedged my sword between the frame, giving me enough leverage to pop the window the rest of the way open, and from the sound of it, it hasn’t been opened in years, it groaned like a garbage can getting run over by a stampede of slightly overweight cows. I froze, terrified, holding my breath I waited. Luckily it seemed like no one had heard it so I continued on with the mission.
Now clearly I couldn’t open the window any more, risking the sound may bring some unwanted attention so I had to squeeze through what I had managed to open. Once inside, I immediately felt uncomfortable, I don't think I'd ever been in a house before. I shook nervously, feeling totally encased, but the pieces were right there! I scurried next to the desk and grabbed the two pieces in my mouth and began to make my leave when my eyes caught something. Under the two pieces was a drawing, it looked like.. like me.. and the wall, and Flash Light. I studied the drawing for a while, totally captivated in what I saw. He had placed the two pieces on top of it and drew a circle around the entire thing. I stood there for a moment, in the drawing we looked so happy, he enjoyed being there… I closed my eyes feeling a tear run down my cheek. I couldn't take back the pieces.. it wasn't right, it mattered to him more than it did to me. So I carefully put them back, picking up the pencil in my mouth, I added something to the drawing.
“Take good care of them for me…”
Then I turned, ready to leave just as I heard a door begin to open. Instantly I was filled with fear and sprang to the window, I missed, ended up hitting the counter and falling on my back. The figure was coming closer and I was laying on the floor uselessly, I struggled to find enough friction to bring me on my legs. It didn't matter if I made a sound now as they must have already saw me so I jumped again making sure to not miss this time, then using the sword I opened the window the rest of the way. I took one last look inside then jumped out the window and hit the ground running as fast as my little hoofs would allow me to. They couldn't possibly be chasing me, what grown pony in the right mind would jump out a window in pursuit of a child when simply taking the door would be easier, though one would never know. I looked back and saw lights begin to turn on and heard a faint yelling of a voice.
“YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY SON!! IF I EVER CATCH YOU BACK HERE AGAIN, DON’T EXPECT ON BEING ABLE TO ESCAPE!!!!”
I ran further away until I couldn’t hear the voice again. I knew who it was, but I.. I didn't mean any harm… Im sorry.. I was just trying to get something back.. I had made a big mistake.
I made it back home promptly, and hid behind the wall. The horrors of this world were, well.. horrible. I had never been yelled at before.. all this was strangely new to me and I wasn’t liking it at all. I cried, laying there behind the wall for quite some time, thinking repeatedly about the events that just took place before I was eventually taken into the world of dreams.
Dreams had always fascinated me, they were so wonderfully complex, bringing back old memories to life, and renewing recent ones, and as it happened, I dreamt about the following events of the night. I was encased inside a dark box, I could feel it closing in on me like gigantic walls ready to crush anything inside, there was also Flash Light above me, just staring down giving off an eerie feel while the two pieces hovered next to him on either sides. Beside me in the darkness I could also make out faint doorways, and behind them I could hear terrifying sounds that I never would want to know what was caused by. The entire place began to close in to the point where I couldn't feel myself breathing anymore, I was suffocating. I screamed for help but my mouth refused to obey me. I watched in horror as I saw myself begin to die, everything went dark, then to nothingness. I snapped awake instantly, taking in huge breaths of air. I gasped and coughed until I was sore, then for the first time in my life, I felt scared and alone, there was no one there for me, there never was.
I looked up at the sky, it was still very late at night, that or early in the morning. Either way it was still dark out and I no longer felt the sense of comfort I once had for it. I backed up away from the darkness which had me on all sides, just like in my dream. I found myself pinned against the wall which could only protect me from one side. I looked around, everywhere I looked was darkness, it was all dark, there was no light, just complete utter darkness in every direction. I let out a short scream before remembering there was no one there for me. I was on my own with this one.. I gulped. So I decided to do the only thing I could remember from my parents. I closed my eyes and focused on creating my own little world with them. It gave me enough comfort to be able to open my eyes again and look out at the darkness. Everything was normal now, nothing had changed. I was okay. I looked over the wall and saw Ponyville below, it was completely dark now except for one light coming from what I guessed was Flash Light’s home, he must have turned his light back on. Using my hoofs, I formed a protective wall around his room so from where I was, he looked completely protected. No pony was going to harm him while I was here.
It was the dawn of a new day, new horizons, new chances, a chance to erase the past and to start over new. If only there weren't annoying ponies there to remind you of your past mistakes, then maybe you could just enjoy the present and forget all those terrible mistakes. We all make mistakes. Its inevitable.
It was the middle of spring now, a month had passed and I hadn't bothered to narrate any of it as nothing significant had happened. I didn't even think anything significant was going to happen today either, but I was narrating it anyways because you know when you narrate something, theres a reason to why. But anyways today wasn't really all that much different from the past three thousand three hundred and sixty seven days I had been alive. I didn’t feel any different, everything looked the same, I held up my hooves and looked at them. Yup nothing had changed. Or had it..? I suddenly turned and looked back at the tree which I had completely forgotten about over the past month. I sighed, I didn't feel like dealing with that tree today, I felt pretty lonely. The last time I saw Flash Light was when I looked into his bedroom window about a week back, I missed him so I snuck there every chance to watch him sleep, it’s not creepy! Every night I would try to go see him, but 1 out of 7 times I would pony out, and result to just looking at his house from over the wall. Either way I did have to admit, I felt like I needed him with me, but I knew that could be used as a weakness. I thought about it for a while. Flash Light… I wonder what he’s doing right now. Maybe he finished that drawing, or maybe he started a new one. Or maybe he's made multiple drawings, id like to see them.
I was once again sitting behind the wall thinking to myself, looking at my sword, going through my treasures in the wall. when I felt something looking at me, well I mean there was a shadow that loomed over me, at first I thought it was Flash Light so I turned around instantly ready to hug him when I saw that it was in fact, not Flash Light. It was some strange grown up pony! Ew! But that probably was a bad first reaction, they stared at me for a second suddenly seeming to regret even coming here.
“Are you uh..” He looked at some papers he was holding with his magic before continuing, “The little pony that lives atop the hill..?”
I looked at him tilting my head, then I growled. He seemed slightly terrified which was what I was going for.
“I-I’ll just leave these here!” He said hurriedly, leaving behind a couple sheets of paper before running down the hill. I thought it was pretty funny so I giggled for a while before picking up the papers and looking at them. I laid them down side by side before figuring out what they were, poking them with my hoof and examining them closely. After a while I decided it was safe so I directed my attention to what was on the paper rather than the papers themselves. I started with the one of the far left, or at least I thought it was left, I was never taught otherwise. On the paper was the drawing I had seen inside of Flash Light’s house the night of the retrieval. The second was another drawing that seemingly took place inside his house looking out the window towards the… hill.
If you couldn't have figured out already, these were sent by Flash Light, I figured he must have asked the mail pony to come and deliver it for him since he must be under some sort of punishment. I thought about it for a moment, how did the mail pony know when to come after me recently thinking of the drawings? How did Flash Light draw these without his mom noticing? Well I suppose it wouldn't really matter what he drew, his mother couldn't have possibly figured it out otherwise unless he were to have specifically explained what was being portrayed. But that in itself was over thinking. I took a deep breath, it had felt like I had said all that too quickly, even though they were just thoughts in my head. But anyways they were simply drawings that he had made. For me… Those last two words hit me, what had I done to deserve this? This wasn't right. He could have made these for anyone else, but then again I hadn't seen him around with many other ponies. I looked at the drawings again, they were nice drawings, I had to keep them safe. I folded them with my hooves and slid them between some new cracks in the wall that were not yet occupied.
I looked over the wall again, the sun was beginning to set and the lights of Ponyville were turning on one by one. Flash Light’s house was always the first one to light up, I had a feeling it was something to do with his cutie mark. It was still nice to look at regardless, a little reminder of him. Like the first star in the sky, except it wasn't a sky. I thought about it for a while more, slowly becoming more upset with myself, and then at him. I hadn't seen him over a month now, and I was growing lonelier by the day. I had never understood what it felt like to obsess over someone, now don't get me wrong… Im not obsessed with him! That would be foolish and I would never allow myself to fall so easily into such a trap. I just… I just feel like I need him… No. I don't need him. I don't need anypony. I slid my back down the wall and slouched, crossing my hooves. Then I ripped the papers out of the wall and stared at them furiously trying to soak up as much of him from it as I could. I grew angry that I couldn't truly be with him, and even angrier that I even wanted to be with him. I took the two drawings and ripped them into shreds with my hooves and buried the pieces in the mud. Then I hit my head against the wall until I felt like I had completely shook the memories of him out of place. There.. now he was gone, he was no longer part of me. I could finally rest.
