Days Gone By
Snow fell heavily as Sunset walked down the road to school to the bus stop. Her bike was in the shop, so her only ride home was the local bus that ran by every fifteen minutes.
She didn't mind, she heard on the news it was going to snow today, and she didn't think it was safe riding her motorcycle in the streets in that type of weather. So it seemed like fate had been on her side. For the most part. She still had to walk in the snow.
It always fascinated her just how quiet the world could be when it was snowing, as of billions of tiny little cotton balls had covered everything. The crunching of the snow beneath her feet was the only sound she could hear besides an occasional passing car.
When she reached the stop, she realized that she was the only person there. (Probably because she was the only person dumb enough to be standing out in this cold.) The bench that she saw people usually sitting on was piled high with snow, so resting while she waited for the bus was a bad idea.
She also realized that because of the snow the bus would be late, and because it would be late, so would she. Though Celestia was an understanding person, her homeroom teacher wasn't, and Ms. Harshwhinny didn't have time to hear her excuses. She sighed to herself, the air from her mouth steaming as it left it.
She'd just have to endure another lecture about professionalism after class.
Once she had reached school, she noticed one of two things. One, Ms. Harshwhinny was absent, thank Celestia for that. Apparently her old rust bucket of a car couldn't start this morning so she had to stay home. And two, Applejack was also absent. The latter of the two was peculiar to her.
Applejack’s attendance wasn't as spotless as Twilight's or as sloppy as Rainbow’s, but it was still surprising to see that the girl who would be the first of their group to get into homeroom in the morning wasn't there at all.
She found the remaining five girls of her group huddled up by the heater in the back of the classroom, talking in hushed voices about something she supposed they didn't want the rest of the class to hear. Not that the substitute cared, he was dozed off in Ms. Harshwhinny’s chair, a newspaper over his face.
“Where's Applejack?”
The question seemed to quiet the low voiced talking, efficiently making everything awkward in a way Sunset could only describe as ‘addressing the elephant in the room’.
There was a beat of silence, a slow painful moment where everyone just stared at each other, unsure of what to say next, or who to go first.
Rarity, seeing that things weren't going anywhere, decided to ask, “You mean you don't know, darling?”
Didn't know what? Again the air seemed to thicken, and suddenly Sunset felt like she was missing out on something. And if she was, then how come Twilight wasn't too? She was the newest of the group therefore she shouldn't know either. But she guessed that's what the hushed whispers were for, but it didn't seem to comfort her in the slightest. “No,” Sunset finally answered.
More silence. This was starting to annoy her, and she could tell that they knew this too. This time, Fluttershy was the one to speak up.
“It's the twenty third...” She paused, unsure of how to break the news as if she was trying to let Sunset down gently in knowing her puppy died. “Applejack stays home...its...it's the day her parents died.”
Shock overtook Sunset’s face, then confusion, then understanding. She had remembered something about this before, back when she had just been reformed at the Fall Formal. She had served detention on the twenty first of last year so she wasn't in class.
Sunset felt awful for not being able to comfort Applejack, but it was in the past, she couldn't change that.
What she could change now was the future, something she did have control over. She didn't know what she was going to do, but what Sunset did know, was that she was going to be there for Applejack.
The rest of the day was a blur of classes, most of which Sunset hadn't been paying attention to. She was too busy thinking about Applejack. Losing a parent was hard, but losing both at the same time must have been unimaginable.
Lunch time came around, and everyone seemed to be staring at their food more than eating it. It was unnaturally quiet, even with the school’s resident party planner sitting at the table. The whole mood was somber, and Sunset couldn't help but shiver.
“Do you....Do you think she's okay?” Twilight Sparkle asked, poking at her salad.
“Well, I don't know dear. We aren't her,” Rarity responded softly, looking up from her compact mirror.
“AJ’s tough. She can get through this,” Rainbow Dash declared. Then seemed to doubt herself. “Right?” Her eyes darted around the table, seemingly looking for some kind of affirmation.
No one could look her in the eye.
“How'd....How'd they die anyway?” Sunset piped up after a moment of painful silence. The question seemed offensive without the girl she should be really asking there, but it was something that she had to know.
“We don't know,” Fluttershy replied, sighing. “She never told us.”
More silence. Sunset was starting to get tired of this. “Let's go to the farm after school. At a time like this, she really needs her friends.”
The other girls nodded in agreement as the bell for the period to end rung.
Applejack knew the moment she woke up that today was a day she never wanted to wake up to. For anyone else, it was one more day closer to Christmas, one more day closer to spending time with family.
Family.
That word hurt so much. It seemed so unfamiliar to her now. A year ago she would have embraced it. Welcomed it with open arms. But now...she hated it. She never wanted to think about it ever again.
Tears welled up in her eyes, but she shook her head. This was no time for crying. She had chores to do. She had to go to school.
When she arose from her bed she was surprised to see Granny Smith standing there, a warm but stern expression on her face.
“You don't have to do nothin’ today,” She said softly. “I know how hard it was for you to even wake up,” There was pity in her eyes.
Applejack growled. “Granny, there are things that need to be done. Ain't no time to be mopin’ around like a log.” She tried to push past the older woman but was held in place by a firm grip on her arm.
“Bloom needs you. So does Mac. They hurtin’ just as much as you are,” She frowned. “You need to take a break.”
“The farm ain't gonna take a break, Granny.” Applejack snapped. “I get that you're concerned, but I'm fine. The world keeps turnin’.” She turned away from her grandmother and mumbled, “No matter what happens.”
Seeing how nothing she said was going to get though her stubborn granddaughter’s head, Granny Smith decided to let it go. She went downstairs to make breakfast for everyone.
Applejack didn't even bother to shower, she just threw on her work clothes and headed out.
It was cold. Snow covered most of the field blanketing it in white. It was quiet, most mornings were. At least before most of the animals stirred.
Applejack made her way to the barn, the soft snow crunching under her feet. When she opened the door, she overheard something she didn't hear every morning: her sister’s voice.
Apple Bloom hated getting up this early, it was the bane of her existence. So for her to not only be up but out of the house, well it took Applejack by surprise.
She was about to walk over to her when she heard something that made her stop in her tracks.
“What was Momma like?”
At first, Applejack thought Apple Bloom had seen her and therefore asked the question, but her eyes weren't looking in her direction. They were looking towards the stalls, where the Apple family horse sat.
“I know you can't talk...” Apple Bloom mumbled to herself, probably to assure herself she wasn't going insane. “But everyone knew her. Granny told me she used to ride you around the fields with Papa.” She gave the brown mare a carrot.
“I just want to know how she was. Was she nice like Granny? Did she hold her stomach when she laughed like Applejack?” The mare didn't answer her but she kept going. “And what about Papa?” She asked, her voice beginning to shake as sobs were forming. “Did he used to pick up Applejack in a big bear hug like Mac does for me? I just want to know what life was like before me,” Tears fell freely now as she sobbed in front of the stable.
“Pretty boring if you ask me.”
Apple Bloom turned around to see AJ leaning up an adjacent stable. “How did you—”
“I was about to ask you. Waking up at the crack of dawn ain't really your thing,” She smiled faintly at the blush rising to her younger sister's cheeks.
“Well, since Granny said I could stay home today I just thought that I’d—”
“Ask Missy about everything that had to do with our parents? Bloom, you know Mac and I are right here. You could always ask us,” Applejack said stepping closer to her.
“It's not fair!” Apple Bloom suddenly shouted. “You got to hug them, and kiss them, and get bedtime stories! I didn't! I wasn't even...I wasn't even old enough to talk to them. I don't even remember what Momma looks like and it hurts Applejack! It hurts!”
Applejack hugged her sister as more tears rolled down her face, this time Applejack having to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying.
“Bloom...” Applejack said.
“Did Granny ever tell you how they died?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Of course she did I was there when she got the call. It was...it was a car crash.” Applejack said, her tactic to stop herself from crying starting to fail her.
“They were on their way to get an extra present for me.” Apple Bloom deadpanned.
“What?” Applejack asked.
“I was four, remember? I wanted some stupid dancing toy I had seen on TV one day and they were going to surprise me with it for Christmas. They had gone to the store and got it, and the on the way back”
“They lost control and crashed into the median. Yeah, I know.” Applejack finished softly. “Have...have you been blaming yourself this entire time?”
Apple Bloom’s silence gave Applejack her answer.
“Apple Bloom you can't blame yourself over something you had no control over!” Applejack shouted. “They could have died doing anything! Christmas is always hard, but we have to push through!”
“Easy for you to say! You and Big Mac are strong! I'm nothing like you guys! I can't just face the day like you guys can...” Tears started to well in Apple Bloom's eyes again. “I’m the reason their dead...”
Anger flashed across Applejack’s face. “Apple Bloom, you know darn well that ain’t—”
“Granny’s calling y'all in for breakfast,” Big Mac’s booming voice interrupted.
Both girls jumped, and turned around to see their brother standing in the doorway to the stables, a solemn and tired look in his eyes. And judging by the bags under them, he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before.
“O-Okay, thanks, Mac,” Applejack responded, walking passed Applebloom and Mac. She went into the house ahead of them, not looking back at all to see if they were following her.
“You guys think she’d be up for talking to us?” Dash asked, leaning up against the horse statue in front of the school.
“Hell if I know,” Sunset said, walking up to the group. “But as stubborn as she is, she needs us right now. It wouldn’t feel right just leaving her alone like this.”
“Sunset’s right,” Twilight chimed in, adjusting her glasses, a habit she had developed over the years that indicated she was nervous. “We’re her friends. She needs to know that we’re here for her. Even....even at a time like this.”
“Should it really be all of us though?” Rarity asked, filing her nails. “This is a hard subject for a poor dear. I don’t think all of us crowding into her house is a good idea.”
Fluttershy nodded. “We might overwhelm and scare her, making her shut down even more. I know I would.” she said, petting Angel Bunny.
“So we only send one of us,” Sunset decided. “Someone who can relate to her on that front.” She looked around at the other girls to see if there were any volunteers. She frowned. “Really? No one?”
“Ah...well...we don’t exactly know how to approach this darling,” Rarity said, her gaze somewhere else. “None of us have experienced anything like that...”
“So what do we do?” PInkie asked. “We can’t just leave her like that.”
“I’ll go,” Sunset offered. “I miss my parents in Equestria, so it might help me relate to her.” she put on her bike helmet and waved goodbye to her friends. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”
Sunset sighed, “Here goes nothing,” before knocking softly on the old wooden door.
It creaked as it opened, revealing the old tired face of Applejack’s grandmother.
“You came to see if she’s alright, I reckon,” Granny Smith said in a low tone.
Not sure what to say, Sunset nodded.
“C’mon in, she’s up in her room.” Granny responded, opening the door wide enough for Sunset to squeeze in.
The Apple family farmhouse smelled of warm cinnamon and fresh apples. All along the walls were probably hundreds of family pictures and portraits dating back to the founding of the farm.
Above the fireplace were childhood pictures of Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big Mac. Some of them together, others of them by themselves.
But the one photo that stood out to Sunset as she ascended up the stairs into Applejack’s room, was the one hanging in the hallway of a frizzy haired woman crouching next to a freckled, toothless overall wearing toddler as she was holding a small redheaded baby.
“She’s pretty...I see where Applejack gets her natural beauty from,” Sunset said as she passed it, assuming that the woman in the photo was Applejack’s mother.
Sunset sighed as she approached the old red wooden door with Applejack’s name on it. “No turning back now,” she said, knocking on the door.
“Come in!”
The door opened, and Applejack looked surprised and confused.
“What’re you doin’ here?” She asked, sitting up in her bed. The usually kept girl looked like she had went right back to sleep after breakfast. And judging by the puffiness in her eyes, a good cry.
“We wanted to see if you were alright,” She said, sitting down at the edge of Applejack’s bed. “The girls wanted to come too, but we thought it’d be better if it was just one of us.”
“Oh, Okay,” Applejack said, pulling the covers over herself. “Well as you can see, I’m fine so you came all the way out here for nothin’.” She rolled over to face the wall, so Sunset couldn’t see her face.
“You’re obviously not okay Applejack,” Sunset replied, a worried frown on her features. “You didn’t come to school, and you haven’t been answering any of our texts. You’re still pretty torn up about this...”
Applejack snorted. “No offense Sunset, but that’s pretty funny comin’ from you. Did you ever think a few months ago that you’d be in my house, in my room, trying to comfort me about the very thing you used to bully me about?”
Sunset had flinched at that. It had been common knowledge that Applejack’s parents had passed, but no one knew when or how. Well, except for the girls.
Sunset hadn’t been friend with, or on any good terms with any of them. But she knew Applejack’s parents were dead, and she used that against the farm girl to scare her into submission.
To think she held such a thing over someone’s head made her sick to her stomach.
Sunset gulped down the bit bile that was forming in her throat. “That may be true, but that was the past...I’m not going to lie, what I did was awful...inhuman even...but right now I want to focus on you. I want to help. I can’t change the things I did to you, but I want to at least atone for some of them. We’re worried about you AJ. I’m worried about you.”
“Bright Mac and Pear Butter.”
Sunset blinked. “Huh?”
“Their names. My parents. Their names were Bright Mac and Pear Butter.” Applejack said softly, turning around to face Sunset once again. “They were the best parents anyone could have asked for.” A sad smile broke through her stoic features.
“What were they like?” Sunset asked tentatively. Applejack was opening up. That was good. She didn’t want to mess this up and make her shut down again.
“Pa was this huge guy. Could pick me and Mac up in one swoop. We used to swing from his arms too. He had this laugh that used to make me think that it could shake the whole house if he was loud enough.” a small laugh escaped her.
“Mama was the exact opposite of Pa. She wasn’t as quiet as Fluttershy, mind you, but I bet you they’d get along mighty fine. She had this amazin’ singing voice too. She would sing me and Mac to sleep and play guitar for us. When Apple Bloom was born, she’d sing her to sleep too. Used to put Apple Bloom out like a light.”
“How’s Apple Bloom taking this? Rainbow told me that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle didn’t see her in school.” Sunset said, playing with the hem of her skirt.
“I think she’s taking it the hardest,” AJ said, sighing. “She thinks because they had went out because of her that they died because of her. I told her that’s ridiculous, but she’s been blaming herself all this time. It was an accident, she knows it was, but she still blames herself.”
Sunset tapped her chin, wondering how she could help both sisters. Christmas or, Hearth’s Warming, as it was called back in Equestria, was supposed to be a time filled with love and happiness. How was the Apple Family supposed to do that with Applejack and her siblings feeling like how they were?
That’s when an idea struck her. “AJ, I’ve got to go, but I’ll text you later, okay?” Sunset said, getting up and waving at her friend before leaving.
“Huh? Oh, okay,” Applejack responded blinking, confused and not sure what made her friend leave so abruptly.
“Darling, are you sure this is a good idea?” Rarity asked as all of the girls stood on the porch of the Apple Family house.
“Trust me, it’s what she needs,” Sunset responded, rapping on the door.
This time instead of Granny Smith answering the door, it was Big Mac wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. He was a bit shocked, but smiled at the pleasant surprise of the girls in front of him. “What brings ya’ll ‘round these parts?” He asked, letting them in.
“We’re here to spread some Christmas cheer!” Pinkie exclaimed, confetti falling from seemingly nowhere into the living room.
Big Mac laughed. “Well, we’ve got plenty of room for that. Why don’t ya’ll make yourselves at home, and I’ll grab Applejack.”
“Don’t need to, I’m here,” Applejack said from the staircase, a small smile on her lips. “I heard all the commotion and thought ya’ll might’ve stopped by.” she saw the food in everyone’s arms and furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s all this?"
“A party, duh!” Pinkie responded. “Sunset told us you were feeling down about your parents so we thought we’d make Christmas happy for you this year!”
"It was all Sunset's idea," Dash said, shrugging. "We just helped."
Sunset nodded. “Applejack....I know this is a hard time for you...but we didn’t want you to feel alone. Your parents may be gone...but we’re here now. And while we can’t replace them, we can celebrate Christmas together and be a family. Family isn't always blood, right?”
Applejack smiled at her. “Right.” tears welled in her eyes. “I...I don’t know what to say. This is probably one of the nicest things you girls have ever done for me,” she turned to Sunset. “I’m mighty sorry for what I said to you the other day. It was uncalled for and you have changed...I was just so depressed I didn’t realize that I was pushing you away.”
Sunset smiled at her. “It’s nothing, Applejack. It’s in the past. Right now we should focus on having some of Pinkie’s special cupcakes and singing our hearts out.”
Applejack laughed at something Sunset said as they all sat at the dinner table after a hearty meal full of laughter and fun. Apple Bloom had eaten and left, not wanting to take part in the festivities.
“Thanks once again, ya’ll,” Applejack said, then she frowned. “But...Apple Bloom still blames herself. I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Let her know she’s loved, darling. Let her know that you’re here for her,” Rarity said, patting her on the back.
"She needs you more than ever," Fluttershy agreed.
Applejack nodded, getting up. “I’m gonna go check on her. I think I have an idea where she is.”
The stables was the first place Applejack had looked, and she had been right to look there, because that’s exactly where Apple Bloom was.
She was sitting on a bale of hay next to Missy’s stable, singing and plucking a familiar tune on an even more familiar guitar.
Applejack recognized the immediately song as something their mother would sing to them during Christmas all the time. She was shocked to learn that Apple Bloom even still remembered it, let alone the chords. Though her playing was a little stiff, she was on her way to playing it almost perfectly.
“Whoo-wee! Mama would be proud hearin’ those kind of pipes on you,” She said, leaning against the barn doorway. “That Mama’s guitar?”
Apple Bloom nodded slowly. “Found it when me and Mac were settin’ up the Christmas tree and lookin’ for the ornaments in the attic.” she responded, strumming mindlessly. “Still can’t believe it’s been up there all these years...” her voice trailed as she marveled at it.
“Where’d you learn to play like that?” Applejack asked, walking over and sitting next to her on the bale.
“Watching you, of course,” Apple Bloom responded, smiling softly. “It’s kind of fuzzy, but I remember Mama playin’ this song. The way her fingers used to dance across it used to make me wonder how she did it.”
“Yeah,” Applejack agreed, sighing. “Momma was always talented,” she laughed. “Couldn’t say that about Pa though. Fella couldn’t hold a tune to save an orchard,”
Apple Bloom giggled a bit. “Seriously?”
Applejack cackled. “Oh yeah,” she affirmed, picking at some hay. “One time, Mama asked him to sing along with her on this one song she had written for them when they were dating, and I swear the animals left the farm after hearing him hitting the notes he did!”
The two sisters shared a laugh and quieted down after that.
“If I hadn’t wanted that stupid toy...They’d still be here.” Apple Bloom said softly. “And I know I shouldn’t be blaming myself, but I can’t help it.” she sniffled, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“Apple Bloom,” AJ started, rubbing her back, “Life...is unexpected like that. You didn’t know that was goin’ to happen. You were just a youngin’. It was an accident. I loved Mama and Pa just as much as you did. As does Mac. Even Granny. But there’s nothing that we can do to bring them back. It hurts, I know it does, but we’ve got to keep pushing forward. It’s what they’ve would have wanted.”
Apple Bloom was quiet for a while, and then she said, “Are you sure?”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Have I ever lied to you? Besides, it’s like Sunset said. Family isn’t always the people you’re related to. It can be people in your life that mean the most. That don’t mean that they’re gonna replace our parents, but they will help heal the hole in our hearts. Understand?”
Apple Bloom nodded. “Yeah. I think...I think everything’s going to be okay.”
It was quiet again, and as snow began to fall outside, Applejack picked up her mother’s guitar and began to play the song that they had all loved so much as children and that rung true now more than ever.
When family cannot be near, havin' journeyed far and wide, we sing a song to honor them, to remember days gone by.