> Letting Go
>  by RoccoRoccs
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: Once Upon A Cloud
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------








The cool fall breeze nipped at my nose as flew among the falling leaves in the early evening hours. A peaceful calm surrounded me as I watched them dance to the ground in perfect harmony with every light gust my wings made. Say what they will, it's cold at times sure, but I love this time of year!  The gentle rustling of branches, the amber and gold hues that paint the world around me in warm inviting colors, just begging me to fly. 

There has always been something that called me to the air the moment the first leaf would fall, something that told me I should be out here. Even from a young age I had always been compelled to take to the air at any chance I got, even if my parents insisted on moving from Cloudsdale to Ponyville, effectively severing my friendships and grounding me. My father had finally decided to chase his dreams and in doing so crushed mine. 

Sure it was a lofty dream to be a Wonderbolt, come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that was every young pegasi's dream at some point or another. Where I knew such a thing was impossible, it was the last dream I had that I was holding out hope for. After we lost mom, things at home became... chaotic. Dad spent his days in the garage refinishing old furniture, while I on the other hoof found myself doing the only thing that brought me any joy. Flying.

We moved here so that dad could start up a business in reclaimed furniture, but it felt less like a new adventure and more like a escape. Where I was deep in the throws of depression, my father was drowning in denial, trying his best to forget the past as best that he could by working with his hooves. I on the other, found myself fighting to make new friends and stave off the never ending cycle of waking up, going to school, coming home, eating, sleep and repeat.

It was a lonely life as best as I could describe it, filled with missed chances to make a funny joke, share a interesting story or even find somepony who was interested in the same things as me. Being the new buck in school was never easy, but being the new buck in a Canterlot school was a nightmare! There were few if any pegasus ponies my age there, leaving me as the odd-pony-out. At least back home I had a friend, here I was segregated into a pony of one. I guess that is why I am out here, why I always take the chance to fly off and be alone. Because if I was going to be alone here, I might as well be alone somewhere I felt happy and not so... rejected? Cast off, even?

I let my wings push me higher above the treetops as I began my long circle back home before it got too dark to find my way back. This area near the Everfree Forest was still too new to me to feel sure of myself enough not to get lost. Above me scattered like pillows on a bed of golden silk, the clouds seemed to call my name. They just looked so inviting the way they would wander about the sky here, forever adrift on a sea of air that could not be tamed by pony's with wings.

"Why not... It's not like dad is coming home anytime soon..." I mumbled to myself as I picked what looked like the fluffiest one and pointed my nose towards it. Go home and be alone, or go watch the sunset alone... six feathers of one or a half dozen of another, same thing. 

I let the gusts of wind guide me to the near my resting spot for the evening and slowly let my hooves test the almost cotton like cool texture of the pillow like mass. How long had I been out here? Hours? All just flying around lost? My wings ached and my back was sore from the relentless going that lead me here. I slowly trotted to the far edge of the cloud as to get the best view when Celestia lowered the sun on yet another long day.

Finding myself a soft spot... as if there were any lack of one, I rested my tired body and squinted into the waning light. I let my mind wonder as it often like to do so on thoughts of flying back to Cloudsdale. I could do it, it wasn't THAT far after all and I could make it on my own, I had already been doing pretty much that for the last three years now. I could make on my own, couldn't I? Who am I kidding. Nopony is going to hire a sixteen year old buck with no home. 

I rested my tired eyes to the thought of yet another day that would come and great me soon enough in my prison of waiting to be old enough to be truly on my own. As much as I hated the thought, it was beyond my control at this point. Just the thought of sleeping on the streets with no safe place to hide when the night got cold sent my body to sway in fear. Swaying, I was actually swaying.

Wait... I am swaying back and forth. Great, I must have some kind of sickness that is going to kill me that manifests itself in the form of me swaying... I peeked an eye open to no longer see the sunset, but a massive black hole staring back at me. My body locked up and began to shiver. What was this!? A nightmare come to life!? What is going on!?

Fearful I was now spending my last moments on this cloud with nothing less than my own oblivion, I cautiously opened my eyes further. Blue, black and blue. Ok, now I'm confused. Before my brain could shift into whatever thing it wanted me to feel next, they blinked. The sudden movement made me jump nearly out of my own feathers. Falling backwards my eye shot open to see a set of blue eyes staring back at me as they made their way closer.       

"What! Who?" I stammered as the eyes came closer, and more into focus. Then a hoof came into my vision, bright and white. It was only then I realized that I had been scared by a young mare who had also picked this cloud to watch the sunset. I must have not seen her at all! With her brilliant white coat and near matching light blue mane, it was no wonder. It hid her perfectly. 

"Oh! Sorry! I didn't know this cloud was taken. I... I'll leave you be." I said as I took her hoof to help me up and pastured to fly back home. Great job, Kade... You were so upset about being alone that you bothered somepony with your aloneness.
Before I could open my wings, I felt a hoof on my back tapping me for attention. I looked over my shoulder to see her motioning for me to come... with her? 

I turned and trotted to her side where she tapped a hoof on the clouds next to her, I guess wanting me to sit? If she wanted me to sit, why did she not just ask me? I mean I know I interrupted her evening and all, but this was just getting awkward. The friendly silent treatment? Why not just tell me to scram or please, come sit here, I don't mind? 

Curiously, I approached her side and took my place near her. Wow, ok. Now that she was not back dropped by cloud cover, I could see all of her. Her flowing mane and tail, her eyes and her facial features. Apart from her blue eyes, her light blue freckles where the only things that gave away thing more than the two shimmering blue pools I had first seen. It was like sitting next to a ghost, a very cute looking ghost!

"Umm... Hello." Good one, mares love the unsure hello, gets them every time! I looked to her with my best smile I had and... nothing. She just sat staring off to the sun. I leaned forward closer to her line of sight and tried again. "Hi, my name's..." But I was silences with a hoof tip to my lips. Being as this was the first time a mare had ever touched me, I feel as though I took it well. 

Frozen once more, I could only look into her eyes as she smiled back to me and shook her head. Oh, I get it, that is my cue to shut up and just enjoy her company. So I did just that. I kept my mouth shut as the sun fell from the sky and left us with a lavender glow that enveloped everything around us. We watched as the stars began to come to life and take over the endless blanket of blue above before being over shadowed by Luna's moon. I was nearly as breath taking as the mare sitting next to me.

Try as I might, with every passing moment I could not help but feel more and more wanting towards this mysterious mare. I found myself trembling at the thought of somepony wanting me to be around them, let alone one this... pretty. Seeing that the celestial show had ended, I braved the silence once more to try and start a conversation.

"Beautiful, yeah?" I said, looking to her. My reward for my selfless bravery was a smile and a nod. "You don't talk much do you?" I said trying to fake my best playful expression. Again, she only shook her head slightly with a face that said 'not really'... Or it could have said 'I don't talk to bucks like you', hard to tell when she REFUSED TO TALK! As luck would have it, I found somepony that was willing to acknowledge my existence and they didn't want to talk at all. Whatever... A win is a win and this is clearly a win for me at this point.

"Sorry, is it me? I can go now if you want me too." I said as I stood up. Her hoof caught mine and halted my retreat as fast as it had started. "Look, if you want me to stay, all you have to do is say so." I said in near frustration. As much as I didn't want it to get to me, I did not like being toyed with like this. It was... humiliating. I watched as her eyes darted around as if to be looking for something before she began digging at the cloud around her. Even better, she's a lunatic. No wonder she wanted me to sit near her. A mare would have had to of been nuts to want to spend time with me. 

"Ok... I best be getting on my way then..." I said in a playful voice to try and hide the fear I was now feeling. But again, her hoof lurched out and caught mine. She stood and trotted to me with a woeful look on her face before motioning with her hooves to her mouth, then shaking her head. It took me a embarrassing amount of time before I figured out the cruel truth. She was mute. 

"You... can't talk?" I asked as politely as I could. I watched as her head shook back and forth. "But you CAN hear, right?" Again, no words but she nodded. Never in my life had I ever seen a more apologetic face before, well, maybe if I could have seen mine right now. Talk about feeling low. I really made a fool of myself this time, AND I was rude. 

"I'm... sor-" The words didn't even make it out of my mouth before she stopped me. She pointed to where we had been just sitting, crossed her hooves as if she were hugging herself and smiled. "Ok, bare with me here, I don't know hoof-sign." I said as I sat down. "Thank you for sitting with you... I mean me? Is that what you are saying?" I asked as I shy'd away from my own words. She nodded her head rapidly in approval. 

"Oh! Well, it was my pleasure! Really! Uh... Thank you for letting me sit with you?" I said as I watched her start looking around for something she must have hidden. Before long she had found a set of saddlebags and pulled them from the cloud and thrown them over her haunches. She turned to me and waved as if to say goodbye, but I was having none of that mess! 

"Hey! Are you just going to leave like that? What if I want to hang out again sometime, huh?" I said with a smirk. She trotted closer and pointed to me and then back to herself. "Yes, me, you, cloud, wherever. Would you like to hang out sometime?" Even if she didn't speak, at least she was somepony to be around. I mean, beats sitting quietly alone, right?

She began chewing on her lip as she seemed to be thinking over the options in her head. "Oh com'on! Do I stink or something? I know I have been flying all day and all, but I couldn't have-" My words were cut short by her wrapping her hooves around me in a hug. I was so taken by the gesture that I once again froze in place... Well that and the fact that I had never been hugged by a mare before... My heart fluttered as I felt my cheeks turn red when she pulled away. She nodded her head and pointed at the cloud we were standing on.

"Here? When? Like tomorrow?" She nodded again and waved once more before taking off. 

Well... That was weird. Fun, but weird. I took note of how dark it had gotten before finally deciding to head back home myself. But just as I stretched my wings out, I saw something lying among the cloud pile where she had pulled her bags from. I reached for it and pried it from the fluffy grip of the white matter. I was a history report? On pre-Nightmare Moon at that. More importantly, it was written on the same paper that they issue out at Canterlot High. The same paper I had in my bags. 

Why had I never seen her before in school? I know the place is big and packed with ponies, but I would like to think that I would at least recognize her. I tucked the page in my bags and made a mental note to try and track her down at school tomorrow to return it. If nothing else, maybe it could lead to having somepony to not talk to with. Talk about your match made in heaven... 

I fastened the clasps on my bags and set off for home, all the while replaying the days events in my head. Sure I had plenty to think on, but that all too fuzzy feeling of being hugged was stuck in my mind. I had never been hugged by a mare beside my mother. Dad wasn't the affectionate type either, so it stands to reason that the last pony to hug me... was mom.  Even though thoughts of my mother usually brought with them me getting all sad and depressed, it was having a hard time fighting the new emotion I was feeling now. happiness.
> Chapter 2: Memories Worth Making
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------






"COLD!" I shouted as the near frozen rain water dripped on my back when I stepped out of the front door. I had just barely made it home last night before the rain started to fall. Of course it would be raining! I only had to fly to Canterlot, it's only an hour and a half flight, what was a minor down pour in 45 degree weather to hurt! 

Shaking off the last bits of sarcasm from my mind, I ruffled my feathers and coat and shot out from under the front porch at break-neck-speed! The rain stabbed at my eyes the whole way, refusing to let up it's pursuit to drench me to the core before I could make it to my very first class. Why did the Pegasi have to pick Friday of all days to water the flowers!? There weren't even any flowers left to water! It's cold, their all dead! Take the hint!

I pushed forward through the relentless rain to Canterlot's city center, the whole way sending evil looks to any of the weather ponies I saw along the way. Splashing down hard on the concrete sidewalk, I skittered my hooves right into a trashcan, toppling its contents into the street beside me. With a quick glance around to make sure nopony had saw me crash, I pretended the sky was the most interesting thing in the world and whistled my way away from there. 

Wow this place was changing fast! Even with the Castle looming over everything around me, it was nearly all but forgotten due to the new buildings being erected everywhere. Almost every street I trotted down on the way to school, no matter where I landed, had signs posted up in front of muddy lots. The sounds of heavy machinery created a near perfect mix of both white noise and loud clangs as they heaved the earth and slammed steel beams into place.

Passing the gifted school, I rounded the corner towards Canterlot High. Oh what a great location for a school for ponies who were lacking in the horn department. Seriously, why was it that they got to have their own special school hosted by Celestia herself and not us? I mean, what is Luna doing? She could teach us stuff! And why did it have to be BEHIND the awesome school? Why not make it one big building?

Running the last few yards to the front door, I nearly pushed over another student in my haste. I threw myself at the front doors, sending myself flying inside the school. As soon as my hooves hit the slick tile floor they gave way, sending me sliding down the hallway nearly as fast as I had entered. I reached for anything I could grab onto. Water fountains, lockers, door frames, but it was not use. I was sliding head long into a brick and mortar wall. 

Just as I had given up all hope on stopping, a janitor appeared from the hall to the right and wandered into my path. Despite our fluffy appearance, a middle aged Pegasus is not the softest thing to ram into, especially when he is trying to wax the floors with a floor buffer. The two of us collided with a massive crash and slammed into the wall together... and were soon under attack from the now un-tethered floor buffer.  

"Celestia's sake kid!" He shouted as he tried to wrangle the out of control machine.

"I'm so sorry! I couldn't stop!" I yelled back as he ripped the cord from the wall and bucked the buffer down the hallway.

"What on EARTH do you think you are doing here!? I just waxed that floor, now look at it!" He said pointing towards the disaster area that was once a glistening tile floor that he had just cleaned.

"What am I doing!? Why are you waxing the floor on a rainy day!? I almost broke my neck trying to get to class!" I said in anger and hope that he would take part of the blame and not send me to the office.

"Why in deed! Why are you here on a Saturday!?" He shouted at me. Crap... 

"Saturday?" I meeked out.

"Yes, Saturday! You know, the day after Friday! I believe you lot call it "Freedom day", or has the world gone mad?" He bellowed back to me.

"Of course it's Saturday..." I said, blowing a water drop out of my mane. Ms. Gloom had even spent the last half hour of class talking about how the Pegasi were preparing the "Fall Showers" to help wash the leafs from the trees. It had been the whole reason I had gone flying after school. Yet here I am, dripping wet and near frozen solid.

"Did you eat paint chips as a foal? Yes, Saturday! The day I buff the floors and enjoy a work day without kids around!" He said, his eyes falling on me with his final words.

"Sorry." I said smiling sheepishly. "I'll just be..." I started as I slinked my way around his watchful glare.

"Sorry nothing! I might not be a teacher, but even I know you would be a damn fool to spend more than five minutes in that storm. Go and wait in the library and wait for it to pass. You can dry off in there with this." He said, throwing me a towel that both looked and smelled like it had been used to clean toilets with. 

"Yes sir..." I said as I draped it over my wings. Just as I did so, the front doors opened and the student I had nearly crashed into trotted into view. Her rain soaked slicker all but covered one eye as she looked at the two of us for a long moment. Before I could so much as wave, she stepped out of view and down another hall.

"Ok, what's she doing here if it is Saturday?" I said as I turned away from him.

"Why don't you mind your business and shove off?" He said as he began trying to untangle the mess of wire the buffer had created.

"Whatever... grouch." I mumbled as I trotted away. 

Saturday. I came to school, in the pouring, freezing rain on a for nothing... I also nearly died back there in there, all for nothing. Now I get to go to the library and drip myself dry, all the while thinking about how I just made a complete fool of myself and wasted a perfect morning to sleep in. I could be doing important things! Watching T.V! I stopped in my steps to try to think of other things I could be doing, but at the moment they all seemed to fail me. 

Soon enough I came to the iron clad doors of the library. I pushed my shoulder into it and slowly let myself in, not wanting to put any effort into the act. This was worse than detention! At least there I was was out of class, here I was trapped from enjoying my weekend! What had gone so wrong in my life that I completely forgot what day it was. 

I trotted to the table nearest the window and proceed to sulk, laying just my head on the hardwood counter top and stared out the window. I felt my stomach join me in my protest with a deep growl that reminded me of another awful fact. Being here on the weekend not only meant that I was wasting my day away, but it also meant that I had no chance at breakfast either. With a huff, I blew some stray papers off the table and sighed.

"I wish I had some macaroni and cheese..." 

I let the gross towel fall to the floor and closed my eyes. It wasn't a bed, but this will do well enough. I curled my hooves over my eyes in a futile effort to block out the florescent lights and tried to get some rest. Despite the shivering, I found myself drifting in and out of dreams as it tried to wait out the weather to go back home. 

I have no clue how long I was out. An hour? Two maybe? But I do remember coming too and not being cold anymore. It was also a lot darker now. Great! It's night isn't it! I slept the entire day away, AT SCHOOL! The sudden worry I had wasted the day was met with a shiver. With that shiver came the scratching of something at my hide. Was something on top of me? It felt like a blanket. If that janitor came in here and put that pee soaked rag on my head while I was sleeping so help me...

With a cautious sniff, I waited for the smell of a buck's room to hit my nose, but what I was worst worried about was replaced with... Lavender? Sniffing again confirmed my suspicions and laid my worst fears to rest, but now I had to figure out why I was smelling lavender. It was sweet smelling too, almost like a sugar coated flower in the springtime, but with a hint of something else. Something I could not quite place.  

My darkness was broken by the sudden appearance of a hoof lifting whatever it was covering my face, letting the light into my darkened hiding place. The world was fuzzy at first, but soon came into focus as the pony who had covered me up came into view. Was that? Was it the mare from the night before? In my sleepy state I was having a hard time telling if it was her or not. She leaned in close to look under the cloak and sure enough, the bright blue eyes were confirmation enough.  I picked my head up from the table and looked around the room slowly. Just as I did, I felt the jacket she had placed over me being pulled away.

"H...Hi." I stammered out. This was embarrassing! She must have found me here and been laughing the whole... oh, right... "Sorry, I forgot."

She smiled back at me and proceeded to work her pencil to write on a stray piece of paper. After she had finished, she used a wing to slide it in front of me.

"Hi! You fell asleep. You were shivering so I covered you up, I hope you don't mind." She wrote. 

"Thank you. But what are you doing here?" I asked, sliding the paper back to her. She rolled her eyes, trotted to my side, pulled up a chair and began to write again.

"What are YOU doing here?"

"Ok, fair point... I thought today was Friday and now I am here."

"But why were you sleeping here?" 

"I fell asleep... Tends to happen when you are board... You still didn't answer my question." I said, raising an eyebrow.

"I come here to study, and to be alone." Oh good. Now I'm disturbing her. I can't blame her, I have been told numerous times by my father that I have a bad habit of snoring.

"Sorry... I'll go. I didn't know." I said now feeling more out of place than a round peg in a square hole. As I got up to leave, I felt her hoofs grab my waist and push me back in my seat. Always so insistent! We had only just met and she was already getting grabby. I looked back to her thinking I was about to be lectured for disturbing her a second time, but all I saw was the face of a pony that looked almost lost for words. Ok, that was a horrible thought. Lets go with... she looked scared that I was about to leave her there alone. Much better. "You want me to stay?"

She nodded her head but never broke that sad expression that was otherwise ruining her cute smile that I remembered. 

"You can stay. You are almost as quiet as me." She wrote, drawing a little smiling pony to end her sentence. Cute. Why do mares always... never mind. I looked out of the window and out into the still pouring rain... What were the Pegasi doing!? Beating the leafs into submission!?

"I think I would like to stay." I said still staring out the window. "What's your name?" I asked as I tried to tame my now out of control mane. I looked like a drowned rat that had been dried by way of electroshock after my dosing off. Laughing at me, she began to write once more.

"I would like that too. My name is Whistle Wind."

"Whistle Wind?" I asked in disbelief that her parents would name their child that could not speak something like that. But before I could finish my thought, she held true to her name and began whistling a soft noise I had heard before. It was the same one my mother would do to bring the cardinals in to feed when she would put out seed for them. It sounded just like her, if I closed my eyes, I could almost put myself back into that place in my life when she was still here.

She would always put out seed for them, every morning. Her calling them would ring through the house in soft tones that signaled the beginning of another day and that breakfast would be ready soon. It was something that I had come to miss that I had often overlooked when she was around. Something that I would still wake up listening for to this day in fact.

I felt a hoof on mine and looked down. I must have dazed out in thought because she was trying to get my attention. 

"Oh, sorry." I said, snapping myself back to reality.

"Are you ok? You look sad? Did I upset you?"

"No, no! Just... it brings back memories is all."

"Bad memories?" She wrote with a look of worry across her face.

"I wish... You don't miss bad memories. My name is Caskade. Nice to have met you."

We must have spent hours waiting on the rain to stop, all the while her passing me notes and me asking questions while answering her's. Despite the verbal barrier, I found myself lost in conversation with her. I explained to her why I had gotten so lost in thought when she produced the same tone as my mother and how me and my father came to find ourselves in ponyville. Despite my trying to convince her that everything was fine now, she kept insisting that she would never make that noise around me again.

When she finally got the point, I learned that she was an only child just like me and that her parents where both employees at the weather factory. Even though Cloudsdale had a fine school system, they had insisted on her going to Canterlot for high school. Apparently this place was the only one in the area that specialized in cases like hers. Even though it was a long flight and the cost of going here was high, they still wanted better for their only daughter. 

Despite my asking, she did not want to talk about her condition. As much as I wanted to know more about it, I thought it better to not pry too far into her personal life with things going so well between us. Even if it was driving me nuts not knowing. But then again, this was as close to anypony as I had been in as long as I could remember and if she had boundaries then I should at least try and respect them.

After when felt like no time at all, the rain finally stopped and before us lay a literal mountain of papers that we had created together. To say it was a life's story worth was far too accurate. Even after the Pegasi had pushed the clouds away and the sun had dried the streets, we had continued chatting. It wasn't until she looked at the clock that things finally came to an end.

"I have to be going. My parents only work half a day today and want to see me." She began packing her things away and cleaning the piles of papers from the table into a neat little stack.

"Oh, I can get those for you. I can toss them on my way out." I said as I reached out for them, but my hoof was slapped in doing so. "Ow! Why!?" I shouted as I cradled my sore hoof. 

"You don't throw away memories, you never know which ones are going to matter." She wrote on the last page before showing it to me and tucking them away in he bag. 

"Speaking of memories, will we get a chance to do this again?" I asked as the two off us trotted out the door. i looked to her for conformation and sure enough, it was met with a nod. 

As we stepped out into the cool fall air, it dawned on me that this was the perfect time to return her homework she had dropped. I began to digging in my bags for the assignment and quickly produced it in my teeth for her to take. I tapped her shoulder and tried to say 'You dropped this last night' but the results were lest than poetic.

"Um... ou droft iss ras ni" I mouthed with a grin. She snorted and covered her mouth in shock as if she had just cursed. "Wha..." I replied. Again, another snort but this time she was scrunching her nose up trying to laugh, but no sounds came out. I wanted to feel bad for her, but she was making hard to with how cute and aggravating she was being. "Jus tay da ting, preash!" Great, now she's hugging the railing and trying not to fall over.

In frustration I started to put it back in my bag but was stopped by a wing that guided my face back to her now tears-of-laughter soaked face as she pressed a cheek next to mine and bit down beside me. My brain short circuited. This was basically kissing! Why was she doing that!? I let go of the paper and stood shaking in my hooves as she pulled it away from me. But I just met her, why would she feel comfortable doing something like that!?

Before I could gather my thoughts enough to say anything, I felt a pair of warm lips on the very same cheek and proceeded to melt into the ground. I fell back to my haunches and sat slack-jawed, lost in the moment of what just happened. If I was flabbergasted before, I was now effectively comatose. 

With a tearing sound and a gust of wind, she rose into the sky and began flying away from me, leaving only a piece of paper in her wake. I watched it drift down in front of me before landing in my out stretched wing for me to see. I unfolded the parchment to read what she had left for me to find.

"I had fun! Hope I see you in the clouds later." 

I folded up the paper and started to throw it away, but was stopped by what she had said in the library. "You don't throw away memories, you never know which ones are going to matter." Maybe it was all the new feelings I was starting to feel or maybe it was just wanting to do right by her. But I carefully folded up the note and placed it in my saddle bags and made sure to do the clasp. 

I took to the skies and pointed myself away from the school. So much had happened today. What started out as a bad day had turned into one that I know I am going to remember for a long time. As I flew closer and closer home, I found myself mentally kicking my own flank over not asking to fly her home. It wasn't THAT far, only two hours one way, I could have done that. Even still, I was going to see her again tonight... if I could find her that was. 

With that very thought, my brain refused to let me stop thinking about her for even a moment. Before I knew it, I had already flew past my house and off towards the Everfree Forest. She wouldn't take that long to show up, right? I could wait. I'm good at waiting.



Art work by the very talented: MidnightPremier

Whistles


Caskade Harmony

> Chapter 3: Memories Worth Keeping
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Thank Celestia I brought my hoodie..." I said aloud to myself... and only myself. I had circled the area where I first met Whistle so many times now that it had started getting dark out. I even flew back home to get my hoodie to keep warm after the temperature started to drop to the point of freezing. The whole way there being fueled to take as little time as needed as to not miss my chance to see her again. 

What was wrong with me? Here I was, freezing my butt off waiting for a mare I had just met not even 24 hours ago, and for what? Sure she gave me a peck on the cheek, and she's cute, and... Oh... that's right. Shes a cute mare that despite her lacking the ability to speak is still far outside of my league and is having anything to do with me. For all I know this is some elaborate prank she is pulling to get a laugh out of her friends. 

I gave my back a stretch and popped my neck. I was sore, tired and really hungry and now... freezing cold. Clouds may look fluffy and inviting, but they are basically big pillows of cold water that zap the heat from your body the moment you sit on them. Even with my hoodie on, I was still shivering to the point of creating fog around me. I was also starting to feel another cold biting sensation, the feeling of rejection. 

Something had to have happened for her to not be here, she wouldn't ask me to meet up with her later if she had not meant to do so, would she? She seemed so sweet and sincere, not like the type to stand buck up for no reason. But nevertheless, here I am... Alone. Should I go look for her? What if she was hurt or something? I knew I should have flown her home, now I get to play the wait and wondering game.

I shook my head trying to rid it of thoughts that I knew were not true and held little weight in the way of actuality. This is just stupid, why am I putting myself through this!? I'm sure she is fine, probably just got too busy to worry with the buck who spent what was left of his Saturday waiting for her. For all I know she fell asleep and probably still is. 

I looked off towards the very same city I had flown from far off in the distance and took in the last rays of light as the sun faded away. It would be dark soon, too dark to stay out here any longer than I already have. If I waited any longer, it would only be for to catch a cold. 

"I waited. What more can I do?" I said as I gave up.

I stood to give one last look around before finally letting go of the last shred of hope I had for seeing her tonight and setting off for home. I stepped off the cloud and fell into a free fall. Un-tucking my wings, I let the cold air fill them and guided myself back towards Ponyville. The landscape had just lost its few remaining colors after today's rain storm, leaving behind nothing but bare trees and a leaf covered forest floor. 

I leaned into the wind and let my wings beat harder, if nothing else the extra work would help me warm up a bit. This place was not the same as I remember seeing it, what was once colorful and full of life was now dead and dying. It was not doing anything for my depressed mood, but flying was helping. As if I were a little colt who had just seen his first Wonderbolts show, I poured on more speed in an effort to cheer myself up. 

Despite my telling myself that she was basically a stranger to me, I still could not let go of the feeling that I was missing something important between us. It was like seeing her again was the first ray of light after a rainstorm, bringing with it warmth and cheer. I wanted that so badly, but you can only sit in the rain for so long. If she really wanted to or could have been here tonight, she would have been.  

With every hard turn, every dive and every roll I felt my mood uplift more and more. The feeling of the wind forcing me harder into a turn, the feeling of loss of gravity when I would go into a dive, all of it helped at this point, no matter how cold. It was like a force that would guide me when I would get upset, something deep in me that knew that this was the cure for all of my problems. Maybe all Pegasi felt this way, maybe they didn't, but I didn't care, I just kept flying.

I rounded the corner to our neighborhood and landed just outside out the corner house on our street, splashing down for the second time today in a puddle. I began trotting towards my home on the far end of the road, still trying to shake off the tingly feeling that would always follow a brisk flight. My head was still buzzing, so much so that I found myself near running to the front door to try and match the pace my eyes were use to seeing. 

Trotting is so slow! I don't know why I even bother with it, I could just as easily flew to the door, but no! 'Always trot off the air legs before you sit down!' My instructor would say. Something about using all of your muscles and not just your wings so you don't get lazy. As stupid as it sounded at the time... well it still sounds stupid actually, I guess I still do it out of habit. 

I stepped onto the porch of our fixer upper home and crawled out of my hoodie. It was soaked with cloud and smelled like musty leafs after a night of wasted time. I took a curious sniff of it and nearly gagged. "I hate the smell of dead leafs! Bleh!" Tossing it in near repulsion, I watched it land on the old rocking chair by the door and let myself in.

"Dad!? You home?" I shouted, dropping my bags by the door.

"Yeah! OUCH! I'm... I'm in the kitchen!" He shouted back.

"Awesome... He's trying to cook again..." I mummbled to myself as I made my way to the cacophony of sounds coming from the kitchen. Dad had never been one to cook... well anything really. He was more of a take out kind of buck, granted it was only after he successfully destroyed the kitchen first. Not to mention there were few places to order food this late and there is only so many times you can eat cakes and sweets before you crack!

I poked my head around the corner to see if it was safe to enter only to recoil back into the living room, narrowly avoiding a splatter of sauce that hit the wall behind me. Huh... spaghetti, that's new. I leaned in to have a sniff of the odd red sauce that was now dripping down the way, but I was quickly reminded of two things... One, my father is NOT safe when he is in the kitchen and two, I'm pretty sure spaghetti does not have mayonnaise in it.

"Dad? What are you doing!?" I shouted as I dodge a rouge noodle being flung at the same wall. I dived just in time to miss it, landing under the table where I was now hiding.

"SPAGHETTI!" He shouted as he flung yet another noodle at the wall. "If the noodles stick, they are done!" He said as he returned to his pot of... 'Food'.

"I don't think it works that way! Isn't that just a myth!?" I said, braving the danger to sit in a chair.

"No Idea!" He shouted. "All I know is that you but this stuff in here, and then you put this junk in there and heat it up! I read it in a book." She said as he flung a hoof full of noodles behind him.  I was so flabbergasted that I had zoned out before he did so, resulting in my face being covered in look warm pasta. "Cas, be a sport and tell me if they stuck." He said over his shoulder.

I spat out one of the discussing flower ropes, did he add cinnamon to the pasta water!? "Yes..." 

"Great! That means they are done and dinner is served." He said setting the pots of whatever he had mixed together in font of me. "Luna's moon, son. You need to get washed up."

"Yeah... Dad, level with me... Are you on drugs?" I said as I brushed what was left of dinner off my my muzzle. 

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm just rushed is all, I have to get back to the shop to finish that big order before morning! I still can't believe that MY chairs are going in the castle! Just think of it, Luna or Celestia will sit on my hard work!" He said with a huge grin.

"Dad, you have no idea how bad that sounds."

"Mind out of the gutter son! Now, go get washed up. I won't be back before the sun comes up." He said as he zipped up his jacket.

"Wait! You're not staying to... eat... this? What am I going to do tonight by myself!?"

"Watch the tv, isn't that what bucks your age do these days?"

"We only get on channel, 24 hours of hoofball." 

"And it's amazing!"

"Dad, I have hated hoofball for years."

"Well, invite some friends over, just don't trash the place." 

"Yeah... would hate to ruin the decor... I don't have anyone to invite over!" 

"Well, go to be or read a book. I promise I will get the cable fixed soon, I just have to get this order out so I can get paid for the labor. Now, stay out of trouble, wash up and eat dinner. I'll see you in the morning." He said as he shut the door. Just as he did, a giant glob of mystery sauce fell from the ceiling and landed in my mane. 

"Bye I guess." 

After cleaning the kitchen and deposing of the rancid dinner he had made, I made myself a peanut butter sandwich and took a shower. It was a welcome seeing as even after cleaning up, I was still frozen to the bone! I just wish that dad would have hung around for more than a second, it would have been nice to talk to somepony tonight. As much as I didn't want to admit to it, I was dealing with a bad case of minor heartbreak. 

Even after getting cleaned up and spending a long time under hot water, I was still pretty down over everything. I parked myself on the couch and stared at the turned off tv, wishing that I had something to watch other than hoofball. Maybe I should just go to bed, at this point it seems like a good idea to crash and try again tomorrow at having a better weekend. 

I had just started nodding off when the doorbell rang out, scaring me out of the couch and onto the floor. I looked up to the clock on the wall, who would be doing such a stupid thing at nine o'clock at night!? I rolled to my hooves and proceeded to trip over the coffee table, sending me face first into the carpet. Stars filled my vision as I held my now bleeding nose on my way to the door. With a pull I opened it and prepaired to flood whoever was out there with all the bad words I never get to say, but when I saw who it was, I was left with more questions than anger.

"W-Whistle!? How did you?" I started. The near frozen mare stood shivering at my doorstep with a look of terror on her face. She lifted a trembling hoof and pointed to my not rock hard hoodie sitting on the rocking chair. "But... It's freezing out, get in here." I said pulling her inside with a hoof. Her leg felt more like a an ice cube than a leg as I guided her to the couch I had been sleeping on and sat her down.

"What are you doing here!? I waited for you for like... ever!" I said, completely forgetting that she could not talk... again. It had to be hard to live like that, especially with ponies like me always forgetting. He reached into her bags and with a fair amount of fumbling, produced her notepad. He shaky mouth could barely write let alone form sentences. When she finished, she held it in front of my face for me to read, but her shaking was making it impossible to see the paper, let alone read it. I took her hooves into mine and did my best to calm the small earthquake on my couch, Celestia she was like touching the embodiment of winter! 

"I late. Followed you. Flew fast. lost track. Saw Hoodie. Here now. COLD" I read aloud and looked back to her for confirmation that that was what she meant to tell me, but she just looked at me with a wide eye'd and slack jaw expression. I lowered her note to better she her face, it was as if she was looking through me with her eyes locked onto mine. I became lost in that moment, any resentment I had melted away knowing that it had all been a misunderstanding. Even if I tried, I don't think I could be mad at a mare who had most likely been trying to catch me while I raced home then spent the last hour or so trying to find me in the cold.

I reached behind her with a wing and grabbed the blanket I had been using and wrapped it around her. She watched my every move, her eyes following my hooves as they worked to wrap her up tight in my efforts to keep her from getting sick. I stood up from my spot and began to trot away, Whistle's eyes began to dart as she fell into a look of uncertainty.

"Calm down, just sit there and try to get warm, I'll build a fire." I said as I trotted out back to grab some firewood. It seemed to put her more at ease but she still looked restless under her mountain of my blankets. I trotted quickly out to the woodshed and gathered as much wood as I could, stacking the logs on my back in doing so. 

Why had she chased me? I know I'm not the fastest flyer out there, but I can hold my own on the track. If she had been chasing me that whole time, then she must have one heck of a set of wings on her! I was flying mad, fueled by rejection and anger, it was a small wonder she hung with me as long as she did, let alone find me. But why had she done that? 

Was it the same reason I sat there all night waiting on her? Did she want to apologize? Maybe she just wanted to set things right and got carried away. Surely she was not feeling the same things that I was, was she? Even now, after everything that had happened, I had never let go of that little feeling she gave me back on the school's steps. No, that's crazy! What mare would want a mopey buck like me... I didn't even like talking in class! I would just stare out the window and wish I could be flying rather than learning about plant cells.

I trotted back into the room where I was immediately spotted and stared at as I began to make a small fire in our fireplace. I bucked a few logs on the holders and tossed in a match with a few squirts of lighter fluid for good measure. I might not be good at a lot, but since we lost mom, I had quite the knack for building a fire. Call it not wanting to freeze to death, but when you are left at home in late January enough, you learn things or you shiver. 

Before long I had managed to build a decent sized fire and had taken a place on the floor in front of the couch. Even with all the feeling I had, I still didn't think it was a good Idea to act on them. What if she didn't fell the same, what if she was just here for the warmth. If I sat next to her and so much as touched her without her being ok with it, what would she do? I would be humiliated yet again and have to spend an awkward night with her here in my house. 

So when she rested her chin on top of my head and warped her hoofs around my neck softly as we both watched the fire, all of those thoughts melted away. Half elation, half terror of the total lack of experience with mares filled my now shaking body. Every move I made felt like it was done so in shaking, jerky motions, even time felt like it was slowing down as I looking into the beating flames of the fire before us. 

Whistle tugged at my neck in a gesture for me to sit on the couch with her, so with possibly the worlds most awkward clamber, I did as I was asked. I rest my back beside her and looked to her for what to do next. Well, turns out this is humiliating no mater how she feels about the situation. 

Sensing my unease, she rested her head on my chest and put a hoof on my shoulder. Her mane was tickling my ear and neck, but I didn't care. This was the first time I had ever been this close to mare before and I was going to enjoy every moment of it! The smell of lavender mixed with the smoke from the fire, giving off a scent that kept me wanting more. With her every nuzzle at my neck, I found myself becoming more and more wanting to hold her, but my mind still wanted me to take things slow. 

"I wish I had waited longer." I said in my best apologetic voice. 

"I wish you had too... I was about to touch your shoulder before you jumped." She said back to me... Wait...WHAT!?

"You can talk!? Why have you not been doing that this whole time!?" I said leaning back away from here. She had bee, lying to me? What the hell!?

"Because I wasn't sure." She said in a beautiful voice that... No! I'm mad and want answers.

"Sure of what!? I have a chipped tooth from the other day!" I said, throwing my hoofs wide. She reached up and put a wing to my cheek top me. 

"I trust you." She said as she pressed her lips to mine. She was, kissing me!? What is going on here!? I don't know what to do! My brain shot into overload as I felt her tongue find its way to mine, my body fell limp and anything I had been feeling in the way of anger once again wash away. Amazing what something like what she was doing could do to change a bucks mind. Why had she simply just talked from the start though? The thought was soon pushed out of my mind, house, city at this point as I felt my instincts take over.

I gently eased her body to the couch as the two of us held and kissed by firelight. All of the emotions I had been dealing with over the day, all of the stress and waiting... it was all worth it. Every. Single. Second of it. Why had she not spoke before? I'm sure she had a good reason, no need to ruin the moment, there will be time for that later.


Art work by the very talented: MidnightPremier
(AKA: my favorite artist!)

> Chapter 4: Words Can Kill.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------





Sunlight, pure and white pushed through the blinds of the window over the couch, waking me up from my near lucid state. What happened last night? Did I fall asleep on the couch again? With a glance around the room, my suspicions were confirmed. I must have been exhausted, so much so that the dream I had about Whistle coming over felt all too real. So real that I swear I could still smell her sweet lavender scent. The feeling was bittersweet, happy to have dreamed it, sad to know it was a dream. It had to be a dream, Whistle is mute and she was clearly talking to me.

I tired to roll off the couch to prepare for the day ahead of me, not that there was much to prepare for, but my body gave a groan of protest. It was like I weighted twice as much as I do, my body felt heavy and unwilling to get up from the warm blankets. That's when it hit me, I WAS twice as heavy as I normally was. Whistle's hoof fell across my chest in an effort to keep me from moving. 

Panic did not even come close to describing what came over me. My heart skipped, both out of elation and fear. Fear that I was about to be in a world of trouble with my dad if he saw us. Fear that her parents had to be worried and would surely want my head served up on a platter for having her over for an entire night! Fear that EVERYTHING in my dream happened! What would that do to us if we decided to become more than just friends!? I just let her into my life and I did not want to lose her now, no now when things were going so well for us! 

My chest began to heave instinctively, trying to keep up with my pounding heart. Sweat was beading on my brow as my brain scrambled to find answers to what I knew happened last night and what I was going to say so neither of us would be killed. Oh Celestia! What have I done! I just wanted to watch a sunset from a cloud, now I was surely about to be beaten into tiny bits of pony for this. 

"Hmmm... Calm down, nothing happened." Whistle's soft voice flowed into my ear inches from her muzzle like velvet. I had all but forgotten how beautiful she sounds when her words seemed to wrap my anxiety into a blanked and stow it away. I was still nervous about what our parents would say, but at least I could mark teenage father, horrible mistake and a failed relationship off of my brains 'to worry about' list. 

"How..." I started

"You woke up cuddling with a mare on your couch and started having a panic attack."

"Oh... Well, what did happen last night?"

"Do you want to ask questions, or do you want to go back to sleep?" Whistle said in her sleepy voice, giving my cheek a nuzzle for good measure. Oh she was good... Almost good enough to make me think that I had said that myself.

"I want to go back to sleep. But I can't without knowing how... far things went." I said, near pleading in panic.

"You fell asleep while we were kissing. You looked too cute to wake up." She said as she shifted the covers closer to her face. "I didn't plan anything like this happening. It just happened." she said with a sleepy yawn

My heart was calming down, but I was still worried. Well, as worried as you can be while you are snuggled up to a cute mare under the covers. Even still, we could fake that she had been at a friends house, but if my dad came in right now... Almost subconsciously, my eyes looked to his door. It was cracked. I clearly remember shutting it the night before, then It hit me... This was a comforter, not the flees nit blanket I had wrapped her up in. This was my DAD'S comforter.  

"Dad?" I timidly called out.

"YEAH!?" I heard him shout from the upstairs room. Oh hell! He was home, and... He didn't kill me? That doesn't sond like him at all. He once grounded me from flying for a week after I took off when I was supposed to do the dishes, this was at least 20 or 30 times worse! 

Whistle gave a gasp when my dad's call was answered by him just up stairs. I felt her hoofs clinch around my chest in fear and panic, just as I had when I woke up. Now it was her turn to panic and mine to calm her down. 

"He's... He's home!?" She whimpered in my ear.

"Shhh... Calm down, if he wanted me dead for this, I already would be. Just, fix the covers and act like nothing happened." I said as I sat upright and trotted up the stairs. It was a short climb, but it might as well have been a mountain with what waited for me at the top of the stairs. I began trotting down the hallway, poking my head in the various rooms that filled our home until I finally found him, laying in bed in the guest bedroom.

"Dad? What are you doing in here!?"

"Oh, hey son. I didn't want to bother you two so I came up here to sleep for the night... morning, whatever." 

"Wait... You're not mad!?"

"Why would I be mad?" I was studying his voice closely, looking for anything at all that would prove my fears right, but despite my trying, he sounded sincerer. 

"Uh... Because I was sleeping on the couch with a mare?" I said painfully, the every word I said felt like tying a rope around my neck.

"Son, come here. Sit." He said, patting the bed sheets. "When I was just about your age, just a young buck myself... I stole a bottle of your grandfathers wine and ran off to Rainbow Falls with a mare. I was gone for two days, scared your grandmother half to death."

"Whoa, I bet grandpa was pissed too." I said, hoping that the two of us were sharing a father son moment and that I was not walking into a trap.

"He was... More so about me taking one of his vintage bottles of wine and scaring grandma, not over the mare."

"Wait, they were just cool with you running off with a mare?" I asked. His hoof popped one of my cheeks lightly, but still hard enough to sting. "Ow, why!?"

"Pay attention... Grandma was very upset and threatened to have my feathers plucked, but your grandfather took me aside and told her to go out for the day, that him and his son needed to have a talk."

" I take it that I am about to get that same talk, right? Dad, I know about the birds and bees if that is what this is about..."

"Yes... And no son, this is not about that. It's something more important. Sex is sex. It's fun. Thinking that you will never do it is beyond reasonable thought. But you need to know if the mare you are with is the one you love or the one that you want to be with. It's easy to to have a little fun in the sheets, but it's much harder to look at a mare and say that you want to spend your life with them. There is more to life than just dating, there is your whole life to think about too. The key to being happy is being with somepony that is not only worth your time, but worth your life." He said putting a hoof to my shoulder.

"What about that mare you took to the falls, was she worth it?" I asked playfully. This was as close to my father as I had ever felt and damn it, I was going to take advantage of some fun 'buck talk'.

"She was... She so was..." He said, looking past me to a old photo on the dresser. It was one I had seen before, it used to be on his nightstand back in Cloudsdale. The soft red mare in the photo was clung to my father's neck as they both flew through the clouds together. The resemblance was unmistakable.

"It was mom... wasn't it?"

"That was the day you became part of our lives, we just did not know it yet. Her friend took that picture of us that day we ran off together and gave it to us at our wedding." 

"Oh... I get it." I said still looking at the picture.

"No son... You don't yet. But you will one day. Fate has a funny way of working its magic. We were just kids, thinking we were grown. We didn't know that one fun night would lead to so much more. We were just luck that we loved each other more than either of us knew at the time."

"Is that what grandpa told you? Find the right mare before you go off making babies?" 

"No, Cask... He said..." He said sitting up. He then lurched forward, wrapped me in a tight hug and began messing up my mane with his hoof. "I SWEAR TO CELESTIA IF YOU MAKE ME A GRANDFATHER AT THE AGE OF 39, I'LL DYE YOUR MANE GRAY SO I LOOK YOUNGER THAN YOU!" His childish tone told me that I was not in trouble... yet. 

"So... I'm not going to have to go out and buy some mane dye, am I?" He said, looking at me with hope that I had not done something stupid.

"No dad, we only just kissed. I just passed out and I guess it was too cold for her to fly home. I swear." 

"Good. You might want to be thinking of what to say to her dad. You are going to fly her home and meet her parents, right?" His tone edged more on 'you are going to do this or I will lose all respect for you' than questioning.

"Yes sir. I will."

"Good. Now, I believe there is a mare downstairs that needs somepony to fly her home. If her father asks, you two fell asleep studying and I said it was too cold to fly home last night so she slept on your bed and you slept on the couch while I ran blocker."

"You are scary good at this..." I said, being taken aback by my fathers mischievous mind.

"I had plenty of practice from your mother. Now, get out of here, I just got in bed and you are ruining my beauty sleep." He said as he shoo'd me off the bed and back down stairs. 

"Any advice for talking to her dad?" I asked from the doorway.

"Yeah. Be firm and don't let him trick you into telling the truth." He said with a sly grin. That settles it... My father is evil.

As I trotted back downstairs, I had lost any and all worry I had when I was lying on the couch. Who knew my dad would be so cool about this, surely born from his experience of been there, done that. I remember my grandpa as being a kind and gentle buck, but I also remember picking on my dad like there was no tomorrow. Luna only knows what he had to go through as a colt. Maybe he wanted to handle things better with me than his dad did with him.

I looked to the couch to a very nervous looking mare who was doing her best to blend into the frame work of the couch's green upholstery. What was she, a ghost now? No matter where she was, she always just seemed to blend into the environment.

"It's cool, dad is going to cover for us if your parents ask." I said as I started gathering her things and placing them in her bags.

"Wait... WHAT?" She said in shock.

"Yeah. He just didn't want to be a grandpa is all. He told me a long story about how him and mom first met and told me to not be stupid. But he didn't seem to upset by it, I think he would have liked a warning though."

"But I... You... We... My dad would have killed us in our sleep!" She said looking flabbergasted. Heh... About time I got to see that look on somepony else for a change.

"Well... My dad is just cool like that, I guess." I said as I placed her things on the couch and began looking for my jacket. 

"I guess I should go. Mom and Dad will want to know where I have been all night..." She said as she stood for the door.

"Not so fast. First off, you were here. No since in lying about it. We fell asleep studying and you slept in my bed while I slept on the couch down stairs, my dad put you there and made sure nothing adult happened all night." I said as I tossed her one of my hoodies from the closet.

"But!"

"But nothing, dad said he will vouch for us. We are good. Stick to the plan and nopony will die from this."

"If you say so, please let me do the talking though. My dad is not like yours." She said.

"If you say so." I said as I held the door for her. 

The two of us stepped out into the sunny cool air of the morning. We took flight towards Cloudsdale, all the while talking about how we would approach the situation with her dad. Oddly enough, she seemed to not be worried about her mother. I would think that she would be the one to worry about, my mother used to be very protective of me when I was younger. Then again, I never got a chance to meet a mare's parents before, so this was all new to me.

We arrived in Cloudsdale surprisingly fast considering how far away it is, it must have been the cold air and us not wanting to be in it. She lead me down street after street of puffy, cloud built houses through a neighborhood I knew all too well. It was my old neighborhood. So when we came to a single story home just around the corner from where I used to live, needless to say that I was surprised. 

The two of us came to her door and waited patiently for her parents to answer. Even with all of the confidence I had back in Ponyville, my heart was still about to leap out of my chest. Would they take the news well? Would they be angry with her over this mess we had gotten ourselves into? I didn't want her to have to take the blame for this. I felt like it would be the right thing to do by taking the lashings for her, but how could I?

After a long pause, the door flung open and I was faced with a much smaller buck than I had been picturing. To hear Whistle talk about him, I would have though of him to be twice the size of a normal pony. But nevertheless, there he was, at eye level with me. His skin was taught and defined with muscles, but his over all appearance was thin and stringy in comparison to my own. Even her mother was taller than he was! All be her much better looking. It was clear where Whistle had gotten her good looks from in the family and it was not her dad!

"Well?" Her father said.

"Oh! Sorry. Whistle was studying at my house last night and we both fell asleep..." Ok this was harder than I thought. I never thought a buck my height could be so... intimidating. And with ONE WORD!

"Go on..." He said taking another step closer to me. Whistle had moved to the edge of the porch, flattening her body out as if she were about to be attack by a bear.

"M-m-my dad put her in my bed and I slept on the couch..."

"And!?" He was now eye to eye with me, pressing his nose close to mine and glaring into my soul.

"And... And he said it was too cold to fly home last night! Nothing happened! I swear!" I said, now being backed down the porch. It was like he was actually mentally strangling me! My brain fought to keep my words on track but my mouth was about to confess to a crime neither of us committed! Focus, Cask... Don't let him get the best of you. You have to show him that you are not lying about lying... you can do this... 

"AND!?" He near shouted through his teeth.

I sure'd up my stance and press my nose to his. Celestia it was like staring down a brick wall! "And NOTHING HAPPENED! What, do you want an award for, scaring teenagers!?" Oh crap... I didn't mean to say that. I tried to stop my mouth but it was too late, that pissed off young buck in my brain was now at the controls and it was going wild. "Not every buck out there is looking to get a mare in bed! We were just studying and fell asleep! My dad even said he stayed up all night to make sure nothing bad would happen! Let. It. Go." I said narrowing my eyes. I was so getting murdered for this. 

So when her dad pulled back away from me and trotted back to her mother, I was shocked. It worked! I can't believe it! But then he turned his baleful gaze to Whistle, the mare who was doing her best cloud impersonation and trying not to be a bother to even the air around her.

"Well, is what he is saying true?" Whistle looked around for a long moment before quickly nodding her head in agreement. "Good. Well I guess you should be going then. I think you two have seen enough of each other for one day." He said to me.

"Now, Rain. It is not everyday our little filly brings a buck home for us to meet. Why don't we invite him inside to warm up with some hot coco." Her mother said in a voice that edged on a whisper. 

"You can't be serious, Whisp. After what they did?"

"Do you mean fall asleep and not want to catch their death of cold trying to get home? Sounds like a accident with a side of responsibility to me." Wow... I like Whisp. How did a buck like that get a mare who was as sweet and kind as she was!? Rain grumbled to himself and finally glared back my way.

"Fine. But don't think this makes us buddies..." He said as he faded into the house's interior.

"Come on. Whistle will show you where you can put your coat." Whisp said as she trotted in after Rain.

"Heh... nothing to it." I said nervously to Whistle.

"If you say so..." She said as she trotted inside, leaving our awkward argument in the yard for all to see.

Her home was, well, a cloud. Albeit a warm, inviting one, but a cloud nonetheless. It was a well furnished home too. Despite my father being in the furniture business, Our home had always had a simple feel to it. Nothing more than needed, nothing less than needed at that. It was always just the bare necessities as far as furnishings, nothing like this! Pictures adorned every wall along with antique posters of old movies I had only heard of in books. Even their kitchen seemed to carry a theme, with small chickens on anything that could be used or touched. 

I sat at the table opposite Whisp, next to Whistle in their chicken coupe of a kitchen. Rain was not where to be found however. My best guess had lead me to think that he had wondered off to sulk after our confrontation in the front yard, but that did not mean that the tension had left the air around us. Whisp, while a beautiful mare, still held the same baleful look as her husband, albeit a softer, more quizzical one. 

"So..." I said as I tapped the rim of my hot coco. 

"So indeed..." Whisp replied. Well, there goes that charming demeanor I loved at their front door. I bet she lured me in here to poison me.

"You have a lovely home?" I said as I felt the sweat start to run down my back.

"Thank you. What are your intentions with Whistle." Wow, right to the point. My jaw hung open and nearly knocked my drink to the ground. "Oh please... Don't play coy. I was a teenager once too."

"I'm sorry?" I stammered out.

"Do you really think that I believe you two did nothing all night long?" Celestia... Her voice was not nearly as fear laden as her husbands, but it still carried that threatening tone. It was like I was in the principals office all over again!

"W-we didn't! I swear!" I said as convincingly as possible. 

"Uh-hu... Whistle? Did anything happen last night?" She asked in a playful manner, playful if she were a cat and Whistle were mouse that is.

"We kissed..." Whistle softly said. Whisp looked at me with one eye and raised her brow.

"Ok, we kissed! Is that a crime?" I said, trying to defend my position.

"Well... What else happened?" She said positively elated at her victory over me.

"Fine..." I started. "She came looking for me after I had flown home from the cloud we were supposed to meet at..."

And just like that, I spilled the beans. Call it not having the threat of death looming over me or call it not wanting to get caught lying to her, but I confessed everything. From the library, to me waiting for Whistle on the clouds, I even confessed to kissing ourselves to sleep. By the time I had finished, Whistle had only interrupted a few times to add details that I never saw happen. 

"And that's it. Nothing really BAD happened... Did it?" I asked hoping I was right. Where I was still scared of what her judgment might be, I was at least relieved to have told the truth. If nothing else, I wouldn't have to dance around every time I saw her parents, and I did intend for us to keep this thing we had going.

"I see... " Whisp said as she took a long drink of her coco. "Whistle, why don't you go and wait in the living room while me and..." Whisp said looking to me.

"Oh, Caskade. Caskade Melody." I said. Great, I forgot to introduce myself. 

"Yes... Caskade Melody have a little chat, alone." So this is where I die... Whistle trotted into the living room, leaving me and her mother to deal with whatever evil she had planned for me.

"Caskade Melody... Seems like an odd name for a buck." She said as she added another marshmallow to her drink.

"My mother named me after herself and where my father met." As hurtful as that statement should have been, I had to deal with explaining my name to more than a few ponies in my life.

"And her name?" 

"Cardinal Melody. Her and my father met at Rainbow Falls. Guess they decided to name me after the falls." I looked up to Whisp who had just choked on her coco, spilling half of it on the table.

"You're Cardinal and Splint's colt!?" She seemed almost taken aback by it. 

"Yeah? Is there something wrong?" I asked, curious if now I had to deal with her hating my parents too. Whisp stood from the table and trotted to the far wall behind me. There she began to rummage through one of the drawers in the table stand below their bay window. Finally after much waiting for her to pull out a gun, knife or blunt object to beat me with, she turned to show me a picture.

"I knew your mother. We were best friends back then, before you were born that is." Something in her voice had changed, gone was the principal like tone, but now she had taken on a more soft tone that I had heard on the porch earlier. "I remember when your parents met back in school. It was even me that suggested to your dad that her ask Cardinal to come with us to the falls for the weekend. "

"You knew my parents!? My mom?" I said in a bewilderment. 

"Knew her... We were best friends." I looked at the picture she was holding. It was like the one my dad had on his dresser, but there were other ponies with them. They all seemed so happy back then, flying and playing in the rainbow colored water. My parents were flying towards the camera while the others swam and drank together. I couldn't tell, but I think I could see Rain in the bottom corner of the picture too. He looked back back then as well, what was he, born pissed off or something?

"Huh... That must be the bottle of wine my dad swiped from his dad." I said, leaning to see the picture. Whisp let out a laugh and covered her mouth as soon as the sound came out, but the joy on her face was unmistakable.

"Your dad got into so much trouble for that! I swear his dad was more mad about the wine than when he found out your mom was pregnant with you." She said in a much more relaxed tone than I expected.

"Yeah, he told me that grandpa said if he made him a grandparent at his age that he would dye my dads hair gray..." Whisp laughed again, but this time pulled out a photo album and placed it before me. She fumbled through the pages until she found a picture of a very upset looking buck with a gray mane and orange tail.

"He did! He dyed it nearly white too! Left his tail orange for good measure." I looked to Whisp who was now on the verge of tears from laughing. I reached out and turned the page. On it was a picture of all of them at my parents wedding. My father still wore the remains of his botched dye job and looked nervous as I had earlier on the doorstep. Despite looking pregnant, my mother wore a long flowing light blue dress and look well out of my father's league. She was beautiful, just as beautiful as I had always remembered.

"I'm sorry about your mom. She was too good for this world, it was a crime that we lost her so soon."

"She was." 

"She always talked about you whenever we got to see one another. She was so proud of you. I never thought in a million years it would be you bringing my daughter home, but here you are. I never thought that she would bring a buck home to be honest. I think you might be the first one she has ever dated now that I think of it."

"Really? She doesn't date?" I asked, curious why a mare as beautiful as her would not be surround by bucks my age. 

"Whistle... She has never been the dating type I guess. The fact that she talks to you at all is nothing short of a miracle."

"Honestly, I thought she couldn't until last night. She nearly scared me half to death. She is already quiet and sneaks up on me like a ghost." Whisp laughed and sat down beside me. 

"Well, I guess you have a little of your fathers charm in you. She never talks to strangers. The doctors say that she has selective mutism brought on by social anxiety." 

"Selective mutism? Like, she chooses to not talk? What would she have to be worried about? She has a beautiful voice and she's..." I caught myself and looked back to Whisp. I was sure that talking about her daughter like that would land me in exile, but I was not ready for the look she was giving me. It was... a sweet look? Well, she was smiling, that was better than the alternative.

"Just like your father..." Before she could finish what she was saying, her words were interrupted by screaming from the basement.

"Whisp! Is that buck gone yet?" Rain, his words verging on venom as he spat them out.

"I was just about to show him out dear." Whisp said, her voice failing to match his tone and volume. "Look, you had better be going. Rain is..." 

"No, no. I get it."

"It's not that he doesn't like you. He doesn't like anypony. I'm happy that I got to meet you and that Whistle found a buck that seems to care for her enough to not try anything on the first date. I trust you two will be seeing each other again?" She asked as she cleared the table and began showing me out.

"Is... is that ok with you?" I said sheepishly.

"As far as I am concerned, the more she is out of the house, the better. It would be good for her." Whisp said as we left the kitchen. "Whistle, could you show Caskade out? I need to go and have a talk with your father."

Whistle looked up from her paper she was writing on with a puzzled look. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes. Just fine. Why don't you invite him over for dinner on tuesday, I think he might like that." Whisp said as she stepped down the stairs. "It was a pleasure seeing you again, Cask." 

Whistle trotted to my side and began showing me out. Oddly enough resorting to her silence once again as we did so. So that is what her mother meant. When things get awkward or tense, she locks up and doesn't talk. Suddenly her not wanting to talk when we first met was starting to make since, she wasn't mute, she was nervous to be around me. We stepped out into the cold breeze of the mid afternoon. Before I could do up my zipper on my hoodie, I heard the door close behind me. I popped my head out of the hood and looked around, expecting to be alone. But I wasn't alone, I was looking at a very confused mare.

"What... did you say to her?" Whistle asked.

"Nothing... why?"

"My mother has never acted like that, ever! That's why. And what was that she said about seeing you again? Have you two met!?"

"Oh, she knew my mom and dad. I guess they were friends a long time ago."

"So she, didn't tell you to stay away? She actually wants you to come over for dinner?"

"I guess so. Why is that so strange to think?" I said as I adjusted my hood for the flight home.

"N-No reason... Do you... want to sit on a cloud after school tomorrow?" I looked back to Whistle who was sitting and tapping her hooves like a filly. 

"Why is it that all of a sudden you are nervous?" I asked lifting her chin with a hoof.

"It's just that..."But she didn't get to finish. I gave her my most reassuring kiss I could manage on the lips and silenced anything she was going to say. It felt nice to be the one who was making her feel uncomfortable, not to mention she looked so damn cute when she was worried.

"Meet me on the track field?" I asked.

"I-I would like that. But only if you want to." She said taking a step closer to me."Could you bring something to cover up with?" 

"Of course! Also, I have to get my hoodie back after all, so yeah I want to." I said playfully.

"What!? No, I like it and it smells like you. This is my jacket now." She said backing away.

"Whistle! Get in here, NOW!" Rain screamed. What an ass... Here we were, enjoying a perfectly good moment together and he just had to blow things out of the water.

"I'll see you tonight." I said as I stepped off the stairs.

"Bye." Whistle said as she retreated into her home.

What a strange morning. First I wake up thinking I'm going to die, then I go somewhere I think I might be killed and I leave with the chance of going on another date. I need a nap after all of that. I reared up to take off but fell back to my hooves when a sudden stabbing pain hit my belly. I knew it! She did poison me! I clutched at the sore spot and found that I had not be poisoned but that Whistles had left her notepad and pencil in my front pocket. Removing it, I saw that she had written me a note. 

"Caskade. I'm sorry for my parents, they do not like other ponies being around me, especially bucks. I know that after this you will not want to see me again, but I wanted you to know that I really enjoyed spending time with you. You are not like other ponies, you were special. I'm sorry. Whistle Wind."

"Now why would she go and write something like that..." I said aloud. Even if her parents down right hated me, there was no way in all that was green and lush about Equestria that I would not see her again. Even if I had to take what little time we had together at school, I would make it work. 

Working my hooves furiously, I scrambled to scribble out a note on the back of her's. If she truly was going to be this worried about me never wanting to see her again, I was going to prove her wrong. It may have been presumptuous to have written a lot of what I did, but I meant every word of it. By Luna if I was going to have her feeling unsure about 'us'. Knowing that she only truly talks with pen and paper, this had to be the only way that she would understand how I felt.

I folded up the note and fluttered to around her house, looking for her bedroom window to stick the note to. Even though the home was one story, it was very large! Much bigger than I had expected after being inside of it. Finally, after flying what felt like miles, I came to a room that looked like her's. Not because of the pink and white bedding, but because of the screaming voice of Rain who was drilling his words into the very walls around Whistle and Whisp both.

"Do you have any idea what the neighbors are going to think with him bringing you home like that!? Do you think that they will think you are cool!? Answer me!" He shouted. If looks could kill, mine would be one of weapons grade flamethrower fuel. It was all I could do to stay hidden as I overheard the screaming coming from my mare friends window.

"Please! Dad!"

"Don't you please me! I will not have my daughter looking like a common hussy!"

"Rain, stop! Don't talk to her like that!" Whisp begged.

"That's enough out of you. It's bad enough that she is talking to him, let alone sleeping at his house! You have to go getting all chummy with him at the dinner table too!? Did you two even think for a second of what this would do to me? What other ponies will say!? Dating Splint's son!" My ear was now glued to the windows edge.  What was it about what he said that just froze me? What did my dad have to do with all of this? 

"Rain, it's not like he is the devil. He's Cardinal's son too after all. He would never treat her like that." Whisp said. Yeah, you tell him Whisp. 

"I don't care about that! If you want to see him again, FINE! I don't care! But I won't have him bringing you home like a damned trophy to rub in my face!"

"Dad, it's not what it sounds like! I like him!" 

"Shut. Up! If I wanted your opinion, I would ask for it!" He shouted in her face. I was now pawing at the walls, trying to mentally kill him. How could he talk to her like that!? How could he be such an ass? I chanced a peak over the window sill, Rain had backed her into a corner and into a ball. Everything inside of me wanted to blow through that window and carry her away from there at that moment.

"He is coming over for dinner Tuesday, so I would suggest getting used to him being around." Whisp said, clearly laying down the law of what was going to happen. 

"You are just as bad as her! The both of you are just made for one another! Why not move him in Whisp! Then he and her can bang all they like!" 

"I told you I believe them, I don't think she would-" Whisp's words were cut short by Rain's hoof falling across her face. I had to restrain myself from ripping the wall I was hiding behind down. That asshole! How dare he hit her like that! If only I could take Whistles away from here and find a way for us to make it on our own... She is too good for them. 

"That's enough! Go get cleaned up for work! And you, you had better have had the house cleaned up before you leave tonight! I am having company over and I will not have the house looking like a sty!" Rain said as he trotted away, leaving his beaten wife and terrified daughter behind. Whisp was soon to follow after him, leaving Whistles to slowly crawl to the door. 

I reached in my pocket and retrieved the note I had written and unfolded it to make a correction. 

"Whistles, don't think for a second that I would not want to see you again, nothing could keep me away. I really like you and want to see where the wind blows us next and what cloud we end up on. I'm your coltfriend after all." I erased the small heart I had drawn and continued writing. "And I promise one day I will give you everything that you deserve and so much more. Don't be scared of me, I won't hurt you."

I folded the note, lifted the window pain and placed it just under it on the inside of her room. She had just cleared the door when I let the window fall on the note. I have no clue if she heard me or not because I had already flown away to the clouds. If nothing else came from this, I wanted her to know that she had somepony out there waiting for her. An escape if nothing else. But one thing was for sure, I was going to have to talk to her about this.

So with the smell of her still in my hoodie, I flew home with hopes that I could somehow help her. It was wrong to think that I was just going to date her and nothing else. I couldn't, not after what I had just seen and heard. If I was going to be with her, it was going to be all of her, including her problems. If they were her problems, then they were mine now too. We would just have to work on them, together.
> Chapter 5: After School Special
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------






"And that, students is why mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!" Ms. Aero said as she wrapped up her lecture on plant studies. I have no idea what she was talking about because I had spent the entire class burning holes into the clock with my eyes. It was almost lunch time, a time I was going to get to spend with Whistle nonetheless! As it turned out, our lunch break was an hour long today and as luck would have it, we shared the same period together. We had agreed to meet up at her locker before we went in together but that also meant a sprint across the school to get to her class first. Dating is a lot harder work than I had thought.

"So class... It looks like we have just enough time to have a pop-quiz! Before we begin, does anypony have any questions?" The teacher said as she looked around the class. CRAP! I had spaced out for so long that now I had no clue what she had talked about! I had to buy some time! She has a nasty habit of holding ponies who bomb her quizzes over during lunch! This can not happen! The whole class groaned in protest along with me as I fought to think of a plan.

"Ms.Aero? Is mitochondria different in animals compared to ponies or plants?" Did I just say that? Where did I get that knowledge from!? Have I been sleep studying again? 

"Great question Cask! But I'm afraid it will take too long to explain if we plan on getting this quiz completed." Damn it, work with me here!

"But, if there is a difference, wouldn't that be important information? Information that could dictate the answer on a exam?" I said near pleading.

"Cask, when did you get so interested in cellular biology?" CRAP! She's going to bust me! I just need to keep her talking so I don't have to take that damned test!

"It's just really interesting, knowing how things work like that!" I said, my every word dripping false enthusiasm.

"Very well... I guess we can take the quiz tomorrow. But I expect everypony to be prepared for it." Ms.Areo began to drone on about more stuff that would have little if any baring on our lives once we left school next year. I had settled in to listen to the lecture in case she called on me for more questions when a hoof touched my back. I looked over my shoulder to see a buck passing me a note. I reached back and unfolded it in my wing to read it.

"Nice! Good work on keeping her talking! I was sleeping the whole time, was totally going to bomb that quiz!"

I looked over my shoulder and gave him a 'your welcome' nod, that's when I saw the three other ponies behind him nodding in approval. I recognized them, one of them used to bully me when I first started going here over my name and our teachers love for saying the whole thing aloud. The rest of their faces were new to me, students of the school that just had always blended into the framework and never stood out. 

Finally, the bell rang and Ms.Aero stopped talking long enough for use to grab our things and leave mitochondria to be mitochondria. Stupid plants... 

"Hey, good work staling her like that. The names Brash, pleasure to meet you."

"Cask.."

"Yeah I know, colt from Cloudsdale, eh? We met a while back. We had first period Equiss together."

"Oh yeah, you were the buck that stole the answers for the final, right?" I asked politely. Now I remember him. "Sneaks, I think everypony calls you?"

"If you need somepony sneaky, you call for Sneaks!" He said proudly. "Me and the guys are going to sit together at lunch, do some first class pony watching, want to join?" He asked with a sly grin.

"I would but I have to meet my marefriend on the other end of school."

"Bring her too! The more the better. I just met the guys and all, but I don't think they would mind having you both along."

"Cool! I'll see you at lunch then!" 

I can't believe it! Hot marefriend and I'm making friends! Was I dreaming? Or did somepony switch on the luck light for me!? I scampered down the hall to the other end of the school. Despite almost recreating another incident like I had the other day with the janitor, I made amazing time. I could have gotten there sooner if not for the schools stupid no flying rules. Then again, a school hallway filled with 60 or 70 flying ponies would be a disaster area! It would sure liven things up on my way to class.

I arrived to Whistle's locker in record time, all things considered that was. Whistle was just making it to her locker when I had made it through the crowded hallway. Flanked by her friend, she had done up her mane by tying it back, letting her bangs fall into her eyes. It was a subtle change, but it made all the difference in the world! Her blue eyes seemed to gleam now that they were not being shadowed by her mane, making me stand in awe for a moment before trotting up to her. Her friend, seeming to think I was a threat or something moved to stand between us.

"Whoa, what do you think you are doing?"

"Hey, whoa now. Whistle? Who's this?" I asked in surprise.

"For your information she is my friend and she happens to be waiting for her special somepony!"

"Uh..." I looked over her shoulder to see Whistle fighting back laughter. Oh this was too good to pass up. I was in a good mood and somepony is about to make a fool of themselves! "Well... Who is this buck? Think I could take him?" I said rearing up on my hind legs.

"No! You couldn't in your wildest dreams! He's big and strong and much better looking than you!"

"Really now..." I said leaning in. "What's he look like, I'll kick his flank!" I said falling into a soft smile.

"For your information, he is on the track team!" She started.

"Really now..."

"He even stood up to her dad!"

"Ya'don't say..." I said, polishing a hoof on my chest fluff.

"He has a yellow coat and orange mane..." She continued.

"Keep going..." I said leaning on a locker. Whistle was now in physical pain by the looks of it from her restrained laughter.

"And... And... He's you... Crap..." That did it.

Whistle's and I broke into uncontrollable laughter. Her friend on the other hoof... Oh now that's a look that could kill if I ever saw one!

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS WAS HIM!?"

"Because... I wanted to see what would happen." Whistle said, wiping a tear away.

"Hi, Cask, nice to meet you. Sorry about that, but you did kind of trot into that one." I said offering a hoof. 

"Well... Nice to meet you. I'm Amberlight." She said, giving me the worlds weakest hoofshake.

"We were going to get some lunch, want to come?" Whistle asked. Ah, clearly this mare was in her close circle if she spoke to her.

"Yeah! You could join us!" I said, backing up Whistle's invite. I didn't want her to, but I wasn't going to say that to her.

"No... Thank you, but I need to meet MY special somepony myself. Maybe some other time." Amberlight said as she trotted off.

"Bye, I guess." I said, put off by her abrupt departure. "What was that all about?" 

"She kinda looks after me. Last year a few bucks started teasing me because I don't like to talk in class. It got so bad that they started following me around calling me 'Mute Mare'." She said, her voice tapering to a whisper towards the end.

"Sounds like a couple of real asses if you ask me. I had a buck pick on me over my name for a while, but I guess he got bored. I even thought about changing it, that is why everypony calls me Cask. I have had enough dish washing jokes to fuel me for a lifetime." 

"But I like your name! It's pretty." 

"That so does not help!" I said laughing.

"Well it is! Better than Whistle Wind... Teachers used to whistle at me for roll call."

"Well they should! I mean look at you, I would whistle at you too. I mean your hot." I said trotting backwards in front of her.

"Well, go on then..." She said with a sly grin.

"Can't!" I said turning around to trot in front of her again.

"Oh? Am I not pretty enough?" She said nudging my flank.

"Nope! Don't know how!" I said, prancing in place. It was ended quickly by a large weight by the name of Whistle landing on my back and wrapping her hooves around my neck. 

"Well, if your lips can't whistle... I guess they will have to learn to do something else." She whispered into my ear. Com'on legs... you can move, it's not like you were just petrified by a mare that jumped on your back and sent your body into lock up over what she just insinuated... You got this... "Da...Uhhh... What?" Awesome Cask! Smooth.

"Aw, your cheeks turn really red! It's cute!" 

We trotted down the hall around ponies who were stuck with going to class while we were off to enjoy each other's company for a whole hour! Despite a few evil looks from the odd pony who seemed to be holding a grudge against our happiness and the odd teacher who seemed to not approve of our public display, things were going great! I was finally finding that little something that I had been missing for so long now. It had been friendship that was missing, being with somepony who understood what you had been through, because they had been there too.

It had been since Cloudsdale since I felt it, back when I was with my friends at flight camp. We would sneak out of the bunks late at night to go and hang out at the lake and chase mares together. Nothing ever came of it, but the time together we spend was invaluable to me and was something I had held onto for years after leaving them behind. Even now, when I would try and seek them out in my spare time, our moments never seemed to line up. They were always busy with school or their jobs, too busy to hang out or do anything more than just small talk. 

But now, things were different. Where I had been lonely, I was happy again. Sure Whistle had her problems, but that just meant that now they were our problems. Pain shared is pain divided and from the work we both put into it, we would get to reap the benefits of a closer relationship... Gee... I wonder where all of that just came from... Thanks mom for never changing the channel from your soaps when I was a little colt... I guess.

We came to the cafeteria as a double decker pony, just as we had traveled here. All things considered, this was perfectly normal in our school. Bucks would often give rides to their mares from class to class when they could. The teachers were not fans of it, some of them would even hand out extra work for those in their classes who would do such things. But it was harmless, more of a hug than anything, but you would think that some of the ponies were out right having sex on the way to class by the way they would talk.

"Want to sit by the window?" Whistle asked. Fueled by the high of happiness, I took the chance and offered my suggestion. 

"Actually... Some bucks from my class invited us to sit with them, would you mind if we did so?" I said, point to the small group huddled in the corner.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea..." She mumbled out. I had to try and break her out of her shell, this would be good for her after all. If I could get her to open up a little to other ponies, maybe it would help me out later when I had a talk with her about her father. Oh yes, that was still right at the top of my to-do list, right behind spending time with her.

"Com'on. It will be fun! I haven't gotten invited to sit at lunch with anypony before, now I get to do it with my favorite pony!" I said smiling to her.

"O-ok... But can we sit alone together after? I kind want to spend sometime with you." She said, giving my neck a nuzzle. 

"You know it. We will just hang out for a minute or two, then we can grab a cloud out by the fields, deal?" 

"Deal." She said, looking nervous to the thought of meeting somepony new.

Whistle climbed down from my back and trotted along beside me to the far corner of the lunch room. I couldn't tell if she was just nervous, or if she wanted to climb back on my back for the warmth, because she was not leaving my side at all. Every step closer we took, she seemed to press harder into my side. It felt like she was being repelled by the concept of being social all together! Maybe this was not such a good idea, we only just met and I was already pushing her into new grounds for her. 

Relax, Cask. This will be good for her! If things start getting bad, you can always abandon all shame and take her away to be alone with. There was no shame in it if it was going to help and there was nothing wrong with taking her right back out of that situation. Just then, I felt Whistle press hard into me and give me a horrified look. Ok. This is to be expected, I will just have to break the ice and we will be fine... Hang in there Whistles... 


"Hey guys! This is Whistle." I said in a grand gesture trying to be funny. Everypony looked at me like I was completely insane. Well... Except Sneaks. He seemed thrilled to see us both.

"Hey! What's up Cask!? This is the buck that detracted the WHOLE class and the teacher into not giving out a pop-quiz! Nice to meet you Whistles! I'm Sneak's!" He said, nearly climbing over the lunch table to greet her.

"H-hi." She said, shying away from his outstretched hoof. 

"That's cool. Bit of a germ-o-phobe eh? Can't say I blame you, I don't even know where I have been!" He said with a snort as he sat back down. I looked to Whistle who was still trying to become one with me, but was at least smiling now. 

"Cask, eh? Aren't you the buck with the funny name? Caskade Harmony?" One of the bucks said to me.

"Yeah. I guess that is me." I replied confidently. 

"And look who it is. Who would have though we would see you again. Cask, do you mind telling me what you are doing here with her?" He said, pointing to Whistle. Put off by the bucks rude comment, I stepped in front of Whistle and put my hooves on the table.

"Hey! Easy there Hurtle! What's going on here?" Sneaks said, looking just as confused as I was.

"Hey, we are all friends here... Isn't that right, Whistles." Hurtle said. Now what was it in the way he said her name that I just couldn't stand. 

"Whistle, what do you say we go grab a cloud..." I said aloud, the whole time staring daggers at Hurtle. Whistle said nothing, but instead leaned into me harder. Well, that's my signal. I pulled my hooves from the table top with a satisfying scrap and began to turn.

"What's wrong Whistles... are you afraid things will get too LOUD around here for your liking?" Ok, this guy is starting to piss me off. Just leave us alone, I already knew this was a mistake the moment he opened his mouth. If he wanted us gone, is that not what we were already doing.

"Hey, com'on dude. What do you have to say stuff like that for?" Sneaks said, still too confused by the situation to understand that clearly, Hurtle had an axe to grind, and Whistle was going to be the stone. I looked down to Whistle who's eyes were now glistening with tears and reflecting a glimmer of betrayal. Crap... I'm going to have to make this right somehow, but for now, I have to get her out of here.

"Com'on... let's go..." I said. But Whistle bumped me to look at her again. She looked to be in pain about something, something that was more than a few rude bucks sitting at a table making fun of her and I both. After a moment, it dawned on me. "That's him, isn't it." I whispered to her. With a shaky nod she confirmed it. Great, now what do I do!? I just led a lamb to slaughter by bringing her here. There is now way that I was getting back out of this, hell, I was going to be lucky if her any I stayed together after this! What am I going to do now?

"Hey... Don't leave now! We miss our little 'Mute Mare'." At the very mention of that horrible name, I heard Whistle whimper at my side. Now I know what I am going to do, and it's going to be stupid.

With a swift buck, I sent my right hind hoof right into Hurtles nose, sending him flying from his chair and into the wall behind him. In may anger fueled rage, I had not accounted for the distance across the table and ended up toppling it in the process. I trotted around the table to Hurtle who was now laying in a heap on the ground with both hooves covering his blood nose.

"Hurtle old buddy! You have to be more careful! You are going to break something leaning back in your chair like that!" I said loud enough for the whole cafeteria to hear, my every word dripping in sarcasm. "Look at you! You look like a snitch who just ratted somepony out now!" I said, staring him down and helping him to his hooves. I knew this game all too well, it had been played on me more than once. Hit the pony, blame that pony for being clumsy, insinuate more violence if they squealed. Although I had always been on the receiving side of that game, I had to admit, it felt good to be the dealer for once.

I trotted past Whistle, I couldn't bare to look at her after what I had just done. I was ashamed of everything at this point in my life and I had just added another brick to my every growing wall of mistakes by resorting to violence. I shoved the door open into the cold snowy air and trotted outside.

I wasn't happy. I was still pissed in fact. I was mad at Hurtle for being an ass and picking on Whistle. I was furious at Sneaks for tricking me into coming to lunch with them, but worst of all. I was mad at myself for doing what I did to Whistle. She never asked for that when we decided to go to lunch together, she just wanted to spend time with me and here I was serving her up like fresh meat to a grinder.

What had I done... I was so upset by what had just happened that I had not even looked back to see if she was following me. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if she hadn't. I know I wouldn't if I were her. A buck I trusted enough to break a vow of silence for just up and betrays me like that? I wouldn't blame her if she never spoke to me again at this point. 

Feeling that I had sufficiently ruined everything, I took the the air in search of a quiet place to hide out until everything behind me blew over enough for me to go to class again. Hell, I might as well go home at this point. I would be in just as much trouble if I did and I could be somewhere I actually wanted to be. This could wait until tomorrow, right? But then I would be leaving her here all alone with a buck I had just kicked in the jaw. Celestia only knows what revenge he was already cooking up, probably at this very moment. 

Soon I came to a nice puffy cloud that was showering the ground with its snow for the winter. Perfect! A cloud that looked just how I felt right now! What a great place to sit and have a nice long think about how I had it all and bucked it all away. I landed on the gray, cold mass of fluff and trotted to the edge of it. It was right over the track field where I was due to have practice later, something that I was now sure I was going to skip. 

I must have sat there for a full five minutes, but it felt like hours. At this point I was falling back into my old routine of letting time slip by unabated just as I had for so long. I felt the cloud grow heavy behind me, signaling the arrival of another pony along with me. I clinched up, waiting to be screamed at by a teacher or kicked by Hurtle, my every fibber in my body tingling with anticipation for what was surely to come. 

Just then, I felt the warm body of another Pegasus slowly fall atop me, wrapping their wings around me and holding me close. For a moment in my fractured mind, I could have sworn felt my mother hugging me just as she had when I had been beaten up by a bully when I was a colt. The feeling was all too real for me, It was just like back then. Who would have thought that these two points in my life could be so closely connected emotionally. 

I felt a tear begin to form in the corner of my eye to the tune of a flurry of emotions I was being over comb with. I hurt Whistle, I did something stupid, I missed my mother and I blamed myself for all of it. Yet, despite it all, she was here with me still. Even after betraying her trust, putting her through hell with both her parents, me and theybullies back in school, she was still here. Somehow that made it hurt all the more, as if she were having to give up even more of herself in order to keep me in her life. It wasn't fair.

I felt a wing tip grace my cheek, brushing away the tears that I was silently weeping. Her legs wrapped around me tighter as she layed her head atop mine, trying to stop my now uncontrollable shivering of cold and mental pain. After a long moment together, it was Whistle that broke our silence.

"Don't you ever do that to me again..." I couldn't say anything, I was in the wrong. Her fractured voice broke through my self pity, sending it falling to the floor like a pane of glass. Even though I wanted to sit here and punish myself, there was still something about her that makes me push all of me aside just to be with her. My problems didn't matter when she was here, I didn't even acknowledge them. I guess it was because I knew deep down that she needed help more than me. Her's were real, mine were in the past. Whose to say that mine even mattered at all.

"I-I wont. I'm sorry I took you there." I said. Trying to hide the clear fact that I was crying still.

"No... Don't you ever fly away from me again." She said, leaning her head into me. 

"W-what?" I said, rolling over to my back. I was floored, what did she mean?

"You said... Don't be scared, I won't hurt you..." She began. "It hurts to see you fly away, Cask. It hurts when you are hurting too and won't let me help! You promised..." She said with broken words. I couldn't say anything, instead I did what I only could do. I reached up and pulled her in close to me and held her.

"I'm not worth it..." I whispered to her as we lay there together floating in the air.

"You are to me."

After what felt like no time at all, the bell for class rang out across the yard. It is amazing that when you are drowning in self wallow how time passes slowly and how when you don't want it to move at all, it does so at a criminally fast pace. I waited for her to roll off of my chest to so we could return to class,  but she never did. We had let the pain and crying pass by simply enjoying being close to one another. So much so that I honestly had forgotten why I had even been crying to start with.

"We have to get back to class..." I said softly into her ear. Whistle didn't budge, she didn't even say anything back. 

"Whistles... Eqquis to Whistles..." I said playfully as I tapped her shoulder. Nothing. Canterlot, we have a problem. Over.

"Oh com'on, my hoof is asleep!" Said trying to shift my numb limbs. Just then, Whistle let out a groan, followed by a small snore. 

"Are you kidding me right now!? Whistle, are you asleep?" I said laughing.

"Hmmm... No." She said as she snuggled up closer to me and proceeded fall back asleep.

"Whistles, we have to get to class or we will be tarty." Said trying to wake her up again.

"But... comfy..." She said, pulling me in tighter. Dear Luna... My need for getting to class was now in direct competition with her adorable demeanor. 

"Babe... Com'on, we are going to get in trouble." I said as sweetly as I dared.

"Aww... You called me babe." She said, putting her chin my chest and booping her nose to mine.

"I'm screwed, aren't I? You are not going to let me up."

"I was... but now I'm not." She said, sticking her tongue out and against my lips.

"You are playing with fire, you know that, right?" She said nothing, but instead began wiggling her tongue up and down.

"I'm serious... You don't know what you are messing with..." I said again.

"Oh I know what I'm messing with... I can feel it." She said with an evil grin as she began rolling her mid-drift into me. Oh wow, I had no clue just how deep of a shade a red my cheeks could get. 

"What has gotten into you!?" 

"Nothing... yet." She said giving me a healthy load of bedroom eyes. Oh my Goddess... My eyes grew wide and my body tensed.

"You can not be serious..." I said in fear of what was happening. I received no reply, but instead only got the raise of an eyebrow. "WE. ARE. AT. SCHOOL!" Despite the several fantasies I had had about something like this happening at some point in my life, ironically many of them while I was in fact at school, doing... THIS... at school was not on the list.

"So?" She said as I felt her adjust and press into me harder. Oh Celestia's sweet mercy... I could feel things... WARM things...

"What are you trying to tell me?" I said as I pressed my nose to her's.

"Shut up and listen..." She said as she pressed her lips to mine. 

Her tongue danced with mine as we rolled about the cloud that was hiding us from prying eyes. Her body was grinding into me, driving me wild with her every move. Before long, the two of us had lost any and all inhibition, acting like wild animals as we simply got lost in the moment. Whatever she was wanting, she was going to take it from me and I had little say in it. She had found that place inside me that wouldn't say no to her, no matter the consequence. 

She leaned up, sliding her marehood along me, lining up for what was to come next. My heart was pounding out of my chest, this was happening. I braced myself and pressed into her, feeling my every nerve tremble in anticipation. I was scared, it was my first time, but with a bight of my lip, Whistles weight began to bare down on me.

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU TWO... BY LUNA'S GRACE! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!?" 

We looked up in horror to see a passing Pegasus pony who looked to be hauling his daily haul to market. his stern glare screamed that he absolutely did not approve of what he was seeing. The old farmer's face was wrinkled and cracked from years of hard labor in the fields... a real salt of the earth pony who was probably looking at the very display of what he saw as pure sin.

"Shit..." Whistle and I both said to one another.

"AND AT A SCHOOL NONETHELESS! HAVEN'T YOU TWO GOT JOBS TO BE AT!?" He yelled to us both.

"What the..." Whistle started.

"Shhh. I got this..." I whispered. "What school old timer?" I shouted back, giving my best fake oblivious tone.

"You two idiots didn't even know you are on a cloud about a damned school!? Well maybe if you two got your minds out of the gutter long enough you would see that you are about to commit a sin in front of a bunch of kids!" He shouted in his holier than thou tone. I faked it, I looked over the edge of the cloud and pretended to be shocked at where I was.

"Oh shit..." I shouted. "Babe that is a school." I said looking to Whistle for her to comment. 

"Oh... OH my!" She said, finally catching on.

"Sorry old timer! I guess we need to get out of here!" I shouted back.

"Ya'll two need to Celestia, that's what you need. Now GIT!" He shouted. 

You don't have to tell me twice! Whistle and I made wake with how fast we took off, breaking the very cloud we had almost enjoyed a little too much. We flew as fast as our wings would let us, knowing that if that old buck even got the slightest whiff of us actually being students at that school, we were doomed. Whistle dad would do nothing short of murder me, and judging by the way he treated her mother, her as well.

"I can't believe that worked!" Whistle shouted to me.

"Me neither. I guess school is a half day today." I said as we banked around the castle to the edge of Canterlot.

"What are we going to tell our parents?" Whistle asked as we dove for the now sparkling white valley floor.

"Just tell them that mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, they wont ask questions." I said as we soared across the tree tops.

The two of us laughed as we lit into the snowy fields outside of Ponyville. The snow had only began to fall yet it was already fetlock deep. What the hell had gotten into the Pegasi!? Did they have a vendetta against the ground!? I had to help clean this crap one year, you would think that making more work for yourself would out weight your need to make snow this deep. I played with the snow with my hoof as I waited for Whistle to come to my side as she always had when we would land. 

"Hey Whistle, look at this, the snow is already-" My words were cut off by the freezing ball of ice that collided with my hindquarters. "YIKE!" I jumped into the air as the stabbing cold hit my sensitive areas. Whistle began laughing uncontrollably as I pawed at the freezing cold that was assaulting my genitals. I have had blue balls before, but this was just stupid. 

"You should see your face!" Whistle said in her sweet voice that had now taken on a tone of maniacal mischief. I raised an eyebrow, scooped up some snow with a wing and send a ball of white fluff sailing right at her. It hit with an explosion of white, covering her ivory coat with splatters of white melting snow.

"You..." She started, but it was too late, it was ON! I sent mound after mound of snow hurling through the air at her as she dodged and fired right back at me. The two of us engaged in snow combat, neither wanting to back down, both of us laughing uncontrollably. We were both covered in melting snow, nearly soaked to the bone as we continued our battle.

"Ok! Ok! You win!" Whistle shouted as a large mound of snow I had tossed found its mark.

"You ok?" I asked as I stepped out from behind a snow berm. No sooner than I looked up, I saw a ball of white flying right at my face. I braced for impact, deciding that I would just let her get the last hit in so we could go and warm up somewhere. 

Huge mistake. The ball of snow crashed into my nose, followed by the rock that had somehow found its way into it. Pain erupted from my front teeth and nose as I felt the blood start to pour and make little crimson puddles on the ground. 
I was seeing stars and my vision bore the black edges of darkness that I had only seen after being punched in the face. I fell to the ground holding my nose and screamed.

"OW! What the hell!" I shouted as Whistle stepped out laughing, thinking nothing was wrong. 

"Oh quit your whining, you lost to a girl. Its not that bad." She said as she trotted closer. I couldn't respond. I was too busy running my tongue across my front roll of teeth and feeling the brand new chip that had been knocked out. Whistle leaned down and pulled a hoof away from my face and gasped at the damage.

"Oh Luna! I'm so sorry! Cask, are you ok!?" She said cradling my head in her hoofs.

"Never better... Am I missing a toofs?" I asked, fighting through the pain.

"I'm so sorry!" She said as she helped me up. "Was there a rock in there or something!? I didn't do it on purpose! I-I swear!" She said, looking me over for more damage.

"Whithel... Ith's ok. You didn'th know. Really." Great... now I have a lisp. 

"Oh..." Whistle said as she put me in a hug. "Lets go get you fixed up." She said as she lead me to town.

Lucky for me and my sore nose, my house was just on the other side of the field where we had been playing in. The pain in my mouth was gone, but my poor nose, it didn't feel broken, but it was swollen. We trotted through my front door, tossing our soaked jackets into the corner of the room. Thank Celestia, dad remembered to put wood on the fire and restock the wood box! Finally, some good luck. I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around Whistle as the two of us sat on the floor in front of the fire place.

"Still thinking of me when you are the one hurt..." She said with a soft smile. 

"It's in my nature." I said, delighted that the lisp was tamable if nothing else.

"Yeah? And how is that?" Whistle said as she used a napkin to try and clean me up.

"My mom, I guess. She would always be there when things went wrong to pick up the pieces. I remember this one year on my birthday. She had just found out that she was sick the day before, but she still put together this huge party for me. She must have invited half the school, there were something like 30 kids there running around screaming. It was chaos." I said laughing at the fond memory of everypony running through our small home in Cloudsdale. "She spent the entire night before cooking cupcakes for us, ordering balloons, she even woke up early to go and get a bouncy house for us to play on. All of it while dealing with being sick."

"She sounds like a amazing mom." Whistle said as she put a hoof around me.

"She was..." 

"Can I ask, what happened?" 

"Mom found out the day before that she had pancreatic cancer. But she still put me first. Before We lost her nearly three years to the day later, I asked her why she did that, put herself out like that when she was the one that needed somepony more than us. All she said was that she didn't want what was wrong with her effect us and that being happy with us and seeing us smile was what made her happy. But what she really did was show me that no matter how bad your life is, it could always be made better by being there for somepony else. I guess that is where I get my selfless streak." 

Whistle pulled me in close as we sat warming by the fire. It hurt to talk about, but I knew that eventually it would come up. It always did with me. First it was the name, wanting to know why my last name was Harmony, a unfitting name for a buck. Then it was my mom, why she was gone and what had happened. It was like a curse I had to carry around, reliving everything tragic detail anytime I met somepony that endeavored to dive deeper than a simple hello.   

"I'm sorry." Whistle said, wiping yet another tear away from my eye. The second time I had cried in years, both in one day.

"It's fine. Besides, I'm not alone anymore, I have you to look forward to seeing. And I take it you found my note..." I said, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah... About that..." She started with a uneasy sigh.

"If you tell me that you don't feel the same after my dead mom story AND after trying to knock my teeth out..." She gave me a shove at that statement.

"No, not that..."

"Oh, then I think I know what you are going to ask... And yes. All of it." I said feeling ashamed that I had been spying on her. Whistles said nothing as we sat there in a trance as to what we should do next. 

"I hate him. Sometimes I wish I could just... Just leave and never come back."

"What about your mom? Is he always that way towards her?" I asked, treading softly on the mine field I knew I was in.

"Yes! He beats her, talks down to her and makes her his slave! And for what!? So he can spend all night with his friends doing Celestia only knows what! The only time we are not getting screamed at by him, we are alone. Mom is no help at all, she just sit by and let him scream at me and if I say anything, I get hit. The only thing she is there for is for him to fuck!" I felt my body tense at her words. The thought of somepony hitting somepony as fragile and sweet as Whistle set my blood to boil. "It got so bad that I can't stand to be around other ponies anymore. My brain just... locks up and won't let me speak when I'm scared, because of him! I can't control it! The doctors told my parents that it was selective mutism, but it's not. It's Rain. It has always been Rain!"

I held onto Whistle as she sobbed her way through her troubles, doing as much as I could for her and feeling completely helpless at the same time. I had to do something, ANYTHING to stop this from happening again. Watching her heart break before my eyes was torture, pure torture that hurt me almost as Rain was hurting her. I needed to be more than just an escape from the pain, I wanted to be the cure for it. But I didn't know how I could!

"Hey. I'm here. I'm not leaving. And nopony is going to change that, not even Rain. I'm here and I always will be." I said pressing my forehead to hers. We had been through so much in such a short time. The few days felt like years between us now, even with it flying by as if it were the blink of an eye. I was close to her and her to me. It was like we had just met, took each other's hooves and jumped into life head first. Is that what love at first glance is? 

I know that the thought of losing her now, after everything that had happened, made my stomach twist into a knot. Just the thought of waking up with nothing to look forward to anymore took me to that same dark place I had been for so long. I would do anything not to go back there, if it meant running away with her to keep us both away from that cruel fate, I would in the beat of a wing. I knew just how I felt about Whistle, but I have no clue if she felt the same. 

"I love you." I whisper into her ear.

"I love you too." She said back, pressing her lips to mine. And just like that, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. As if just speaking the words meant that now I was never going to be alone again. We sat kissing passionately as I felt her hoof fall between my legs, caressing my sheath gently. But as good as it felt, I didn't want it to ruin this moment we were in. I put my hoof on her's and guided it away to pull her in closer.

"Wha... But..." She started.

"You don't have to." 

"But, I wanted to treat you, give you a reward." She said playfully, trying to change the mood. I pulled back to look her in the eyes. Those crystal clear blue eyes that I had come to love seeing as they grew wide when she would look my way.

"You are the reward."
> Chapter 6: Friends of Foes
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ok, class! Listen up. I know that everypony is excited to start their winter break. But do not forget about your reports on early Equestrian studies! It will be counting for half of your grade this semester!" Our teacher reminded everypony as we all looked on in horror. The bell had just rang, signaling the end of the long wait for our two weeks off for the year and she was already piling on work for us to do before we could even start to enjoy our free time. 

The minutes had ticked by like hours in my state of waiting. Having a special somepony was a lot harder than I had thought. Not so much on the work standpoint, but more so on the emotionally taxing waiting. It seemed like everything I did was revolving around waiting for Whistles in one way or another.

It was making for an excruciating day when all you wanted to do was not be where you were all the time. Not to mention that today was the day that I was going to have to see her dad again, a buck that I thought little of in terms of being a pony. To say that I was not looking forward to the experience, was an understatement. I still didn't know how I was going to be in the same room with him after what I had seen he was capable of.

How do you look at a pony after knowing that he beats his wife and daughter!? The thought to me was akin to staring at the sun for a long period of time with out blinking. Even her mother had changed from that mare I had once looked to as an old friend of my mother, a conduit of memories of her nonetheless, to one of an enabling pony of weakness. 

I stepped out into the hallway, passing the lockers on my way to the front of the school to meet up with Whistle. Despite my trepidation about meeting with her parents again, I was at least excited to see my old home again for a few hours before hoof. Dad had told me that I should try and make the most of a bad situation, saying that I should simply enjoy the time with my mare friend rather than dwell on the bad things.

Of course this was before I had told him that Whistle's father beats them and makes her clean house like a common maid. After that he was more interested in where he could hide a body and not get caught doing it. That was when he passed on a valuable piece of information that I had never considered before. 

As it turned out, he knew exactly who Rain was and just why he was not fond of me in the slightest. The memory of him yelling in the window sill about how he was worried about how other ponies thought was validated. My dad had came into my mothers life at exactly the right time, right when she was finding out what an ass Rain could be. The very thought of Rain, dating a pony as sweet and kind as my mother, sent chills up my spine. 

The two had just started having trouble when Rain saw that my mother was more of a social bug than he would have liked. After a huge fight over going to the very falls that my parents met at, my mother left him for another buck. It had been Whisp, who I found out her real name was Whisper, who had arranged for them to meet in the first place. 

Knowing my mother was unhappy with dating Rain, she invited her crush to the trip, my father. The fact that my dad had single hoofed stole my mother away from the clutches of such a horrible pony both filled me with pride and wonder. Even though he had basically saved my mother a life of pain with him, I could not help but wonder if it had not festered a life time of neglect towards Whistle and her mother. Not to mention he ended up with the very same mare that had broken then up in the first place. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN!?

My mental train of thought was derailed by the buck who was now waving a hoof right in front of me. His gray locks covered all but scant traces of his bright yellow eyes. 

"What do you want Sneaks..." I said, trying to keep from punching him.

"Hey! Listen. I wanted to say that I was sorry about what happened at lunch yesterday... I had no clue that hurtle was such an ass like that." He said, rubbing a leg with another.

"Yet, here we are. If you were hanging out with them, how could you not have seen him being such a massive prick?"

"I had always thought that it was all in good fun! I swear! I didn't think he actually meant all that stuff, had I known..."

"You would have done what!? Beat him up? Tell him off? Stop him!? Words carry weight, Sneaks. Just because a pony doesn't hear it, does not mean it still doesn't hurt them." I said, backing him into a locker.

"Hey! Calm down! I came to you to say I was sorry, not to get into a fight!"

"I don't want to fight you... I'm just... Disappointed." I said shaking my head. How could he have been so stupid...

"Oh, well. If that's all, then you should give me a chance to make things right at least. I'm sorry for what happened." He said, offering a hoof to me in display of friendship.

"No." I said, swatting it away. "I'm not the one who needs the apology. You want to do right by me?" 

"Yes, I really do. I feel bad for how things went down." He said, his yellow eyes opening wide.

"Fine, follow me." I said, trotting away.

Well, it was a start I guess. If nothing else, I had to give him an A for effort, even if he had been responsible for the worst day of my life in years. Sure it ended well enough, I almost lost my v-card, but what would that have done? I trotted out of the school and looked around for Whistle, she had found a quiet spot by the pillars where she would not be a bother to anypony as they left for their long awaited winter break. Why did she always do that!? Sneaky little mare...

"Whistle, got a second?"

"Always. I was starting to get worried about you." She said running up to me.

"Yeah... Hey listen. There is somepony who wants to talk to you. Now, don't freak out. I promise that I will be right here the whole time, ok?"

"Cask... What's going on?" She said, shying away. 

"Just trust me." I said softly. I swear if this is another trick, I will kill him. No second chances, no more promises, I will stab him in the face with an unsharpened pencil. "Com'on, she's waiting..." I yelled to the school door. Sneaks peaked his head out of the door and began the trot of shame to the two of us. Whistle jumped at seeing him, trying to instinctively fly off from the very same pony who had caused us so much trouble in the past. Sneaks trotted up to us, me waiting patiently and Whistles pulling away from me at every chance she had.

"H-hey... Whistles." He began nervously. Whistle was shaking at my side with every word he would breath.

"Ok, Sneaks... You got the mare you hurt standing right in front of you... Give her a reason not to kick you in the balls." I said in a thin but direct tone. This had better work, otherwise I will never forgive myself.

"Yeah... Look, I'm really sorry Whistle. I had no clue that was why they invited you two to lunch with us. I just met them and thought that it was just going to be some harmless fun. Not THAT. I know that words can hurt and I'm sure their's hurt you, a lot. So..." He said sitting down in front of us. Whistle, despite her worry for meeting with him, was at least not shaking anymore, but staring at him curiously. "...Ok, go ahead."

"W-What?" She said meekly. 

"Go ahead... Hit me. I owe you as much. Yell, scream, kick... Just, not in my face, please..." He said, clinching his eyes shut.

"Damn it Sneaks..." I said, laughing.

"What! Com'on, get it over with! The suspense is killing me." He said nervously. What in the name of Celestia was wrong with him?! Whistles, to my surprise, stepped forward. Ok, not going as planned! Abort! Abort! Before I could intervene, Whistles raised a hoof and placed it to his shoulder.

"No. It's ok..." She said, offering him a smile in return.

"What?! No... no hitting? You're not mad?" He said, shying away.

"No, I'm upset. But you said you were sorry." She said, pulling away.

"REALLY!? That's it!? That wasn't so bad..." Sneaks said, breathing a sigh of relief. "So you forgive me?"

"No. I can't do that." She said as she pulled away from the two of us. "You will have to earn that back."

"B-but..." He started. 

"Sorry's don't make things right. Doing the right thing helps, but you have to work to fix what you broke, not sweep it under the rug." She said as she flew off. What the hell!? Did she not just get done lecturing me over not doing that!?

"What the..." Sneaks said, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

"You heard her... Ditch the losers and find some real friends." I said as I took off. 

Well, that didn't go quite the way I had thought. But it was a start. I flew to catch up with Whistles, leaving Sneaks in a pool of whatever he was drowning in. 

"Mind telling me what that was all about?" I asked as I flew next to her.

"Cask, I appreciate what you did, but forcing a pony to apologize to me doesn't help him or me."

"What!? I didn't force him to do anything! He came to me and said he was sorry first!" 

"Huh?" she said looking at me in shock.

"Yeah! He stopped me on the way out of school and said he was sorry, nothing more! He said he had no clue that was what those guys had planed and that he felt terrible! I did suggest that you were the one that deserved the apologies and not me, but that was the short of the long of it."

"So I just... Oh no." Whistle said into her hooves.

"Yup, you flat-lined him." I said playfully. 

"Oh Celestia, Cask! Why didn't you say something! The poor buck!"

"I wanted to see where you were going with it. Besides, not like he didn't have it coming." I said, teasing her.

"CASK! We have to go back there! He must feel terrible!"

"Nah, he will be fine. Besides, it will give him something to work on in the future."

"Work on what, exactly?" She asked as I flew little circles around her.

"Being a better pony."

We lit just outside of an old coffee shop in Cloudsdale, coming in soft as to not land on anypony. Wow this place was packed this time of year. Pegasi of all trots of life flew from shop to shop to buy gifts for the fast approaching Hearts Warming holiday. All around us were signs for gadgets that nopony needed but wanted for some reason. Ah the holidays... Got to love them.

We trotted down Mane street in search of a cafe to hold up in while we both awaited our inevitable dinner date with her parents. We passed a book store with a sign that read "Reads with a side of tea!" and desired that this was as good of a place as any for a break from the busy streets. Finding a table was easy enough, ponies these days never read books now that the internet was catching on. Pretty much anything you would ever want to know was on there, making books something of the past.

The two of us sat and stared to the faux library's extensive list of herbal teas. Just my luck, no snacks... I was starving and with dinner hours away, I was nearing chewing on a book I was so famished.

"Oh! I love this book!" Whistle said, picking up one of the many that were stacked before us in the table's center. She held up the well read version of "Trotout: The Stable" for me to see. "Do you read much?"

"Nerd..." I said jokingly.

"Com'on! This is a good book! I love futuristic dystopian fiction!" 

"It's ok..." I said as I trotted to a near by shelf. "This is my favorite!" I heaved the massive tomb onto the table.

"Oh... my... I had no clue you liked conspiracy novels..." She said, gawking at the 30,000 thousand some odd pages of awesomeness. 

"Hey! Trotout: Project Verticals is an amazing book!" I said, just a touch defensively.

"Well, if you have three years to read it maybe..." She said, giving me a sardonic look.

"It's worth it." I said, petting my favorite story like a cat.

"Oh, I'm Poker! Don't mind my various metallic appendages, please sleep with me! Oops! killed a foal again, I'm going to  cry about if for twelve chapters!" She said in a display of mockery.

"Look at me! I'm Littlepill! I'm the Wasteland's favorite drug addict! All I want to do is the right thing and bang Memory!" I said, staring her down.

"Well, we can agree on one thing." She said, sliding our books to the side.

"Yeah, what's that?"

"We both love bad indy books about the Wasteland." She said laughing. 

After hours spent talking about our favorite books and drinking tea, the two of us left the store behind to fly to her home. It as a somber flight, neither of us wanting to talk about what was about to happen. There was no way that this was going to go well for us. Sure, I had been invited over, but there was zero chance that Rain wanted me there, or even near his daughter for that matter. 

But here I was, flying with my mare friend to certain doom and worry. I was going to have to pull all of this out of flank if I wanted to try and win them over. Well, her mother at least, I could care less about her father liking me. For all I cared he could take a flying leap. 

We trotted inside as if we owned the place, perks of knowing their daughter I guessed. Her parents were in the kitchen, cooking the meal that were destine to consume. I peeked into the small room and scanned the counter tops for any trace of poison, but before I could find anything at all, Whistle pulled me into the living room. The two of us sat patiently waiting to be called to the table, all the while in silence.

It was like flipping a switch, the moment our hooves crossed into her home, Whistle's happy demeanor had faded to a nervous tension. This was clearly not a home she was comfortable being in. A home is a place where you can go to hind, feel safe and escape from the cruel world around you, not the other way around. Despite its seemingly beautiful appearance, everything about the place bleed with discomfort. Even the couch I was sitting on, even though it seemed clean enough, was stained with bad memories that bit into my mind. 

"Dinner!" Whisp said in a sing-song tone from the dining room. This is it, Cask. You can do this! She's worth it... Just keep telling yourself that and you will be fine. The two of us took our spots at the table, taking in the simple yet delicious looking meal before us. Vegetable stew with whole grain, oats covered bread, one of my favorite meals. I waited for her father to reach in first, remembering all of the manners I had been taught by my mother.

"So, Caskade, is it?" Rain started. 

"Yes sir." I said, trying to withhold the venom I so wanted to put on the words I was serving.

"I see that you and Whistle here have been spending a lot of time together. Tell, me. What is it that you two do all day?" He said in his usual indignant tone. 

"Talk mostly. Sometimes we eat together and just... hang out." I said, trying to be a vague as possible.

"Do you now... What is it you two do while... 'hanging out'?" He said, taking another bite of bread.

"Usual teenager stuff I guess. Talk and study together." I was already feeling those beads of sweat beginning to form between my wings.

"You two go to any of the hoofball games?" 

"No sir." I said, trying to pace myself while eating. I wanted nothing more to devour the food in front of me. I had missed breakfast and lunch! I was starving, but I had to at the very least try and be polite.

"Oh? Why not?" 

"Neither of us are a big fan of hoofball sir." I said carefully.

"Is that so. Personally, I love hoofball. Played a little myself back in school."

"Rain, he just said he is not a fan of it. Don't go dragging those old war stories out and boring him to death." Thank Luna for Whisp! I haven't the first clue as to how to talk sports.

"Now, what have I said about interrupting me... dear." He said, his tone edging on threatening.

"My parents did not want me playing it. They always said that I got hurt enough on my own." I said, trying to crack a joke.

"I bet you would have made a fine player. Maybe a running back even. But with a small frame like yours, you could have never been a linebuck." Gee... Thanks. I was only as tall as he was and he still felt the need to throw my short stature in my face.

"Is that what you were? A linebuck?" I said reflexively. 

"Is there something wrong with hoofball, son?" Oh, he did not just call me son. 

"No, I think it's great that bucks found a sport where they could be so... close." Oh shit... That little buck in my head was awake again and he was at the controls again.

"How do you mean. I think you should elaborate." Rain said, dropping his spoon. 

"I just think it's great how bucks needed a sport to show who was the strongest. Personally I have never been that interested." Com'on you little bastard, give me the control back before you say something stupid.

"Leave the poor boy alone, Rain. He said he doesn't like the game, now quit." Whisp said begging.

"No! What do you have against it? Go on then. Do you think you are too good to play?" 

"Look, I don't like hoofball. It's a sport that requires you to beat the crap out of one another just to show how strong you are. I have no need or want to do such a thing or watch it happen..." Good just leave it there little buck. "...The whole thing is over-rated and a waste of time. Why not just square up and fight like real bucks." Damn it little buck! You are grounded. Rain narrowed his eyes at me. I stared hard back to him, this must be one of the testing things bucks do went they feel pissed. 

"Well, then. Show me what you got." Rain said standing from the table.

"Rain..." Whisp started.

"Come again?"

"You come into my home, I feed you and you disrespect my favorite Equestrian past time. Well, I'm a buck of the world, let's try it your way." He said in a cool, level tone.

"You want to fight me?" I said, in disbelief. The little buck in my brain was going nuts, pressing every button on the control board. Run, fight, grab a knife all flew through my brain as it tried to gain control of the situation.

"Fight? No. I want you to show me why you think you are better than those bucks on the field. Meet me in the living room and I will show you what hoofball is really about." Whistle was pulling at my wing. I looked to her and saw an unsure look cross her face of both wanting me to run but also not wanting me to leave her here.

"Fine. I'm game." If this was a right of passage to earn respect, I wasn't ok with it. But it had to happen for Whistle and I to continue our relationship. Otherwise, Rain would just lock the very door I had trotted through into her life.

We did as asked, everypony went to the living room where Rain had moved the furniture out of the center of the room. He had cleared an area for use to conduct his insane experiment together and to not damage anything in the process. Whisp and Whistle took their seats to watch possibly the stupidest display of bad judgement and bravado they had ever seen. One thing was for sure, if this involved physical contact, and I'm sure it would, I doubt he was going to go easy on me.

"Stand there." Rain said, pointing to the edge of the small circle he had created. I did as I was told and took my place, doing my best to be ready for anything that came my way. "Rule one... If you fall down, you get back up. None of that tapping out crap. You get back up." I nodded in conformation. "Rule two... You don't hold back. you give it everything you have and nothing less. If I feel like you are not digging deep enough... Well, you will see." I again nodded, not sure what he was getting at. "Finally, tackling is a lot like life..." He started. 

"How is that-" My words were cut short by the massive blow that hit me in the chest. Rain had taken my moment of pause to think and rammed his full weight into me, knocking me to the ground and my lungs out of air. I sat gasping for my breath, pawing at the ground to stand again.

"Rain! Not so rough!" Whisp yelled. I looked to Whistle who was looking on in horror at the display.

"Nonsense, he's a nearly grown buck... he can take it." He said, shooting me a look. Oh, look who's back, that little shit that got me into this. I stood in spite of the pain that was now coming from my chest and squared up. He would not get that chance again.

"I take it rule three is cheap shots?" I said, now circling the room.

"No... Life is full of surprises." He said as he lunged for me again. But this time I was ready. Just as he got close, I ducked, sending him flying headlong into the wall behind me.

"There is no ducking in hoofball!" He shouted as he rose from the mass of pictures that had fallen.

"If you fall down, get back up, right?" I said as I backed away. Rain shot me a look that could kill with just a glance as he found his way back to the circle. Full of myself from my small victory, the two of us began to circle one another. I had lost that rational part of my mind that said not to push him further, returning his stern glare with one of my own.

Before I could come up with a plan to launch my own attack, Rain again lunged for me. This time, I was not fast enough to dodge the attack. His full force rammed into my chest again, but this time I dug my hooves into the floor and pushed back. His might was more than I had accounted for, pushing me back a good five feet before he lost momentum. Seeing that I was not going down nearly as easily as I had the first time, Rain reared up and flipped me onto my back. My haunches crashed beneath us in a sickening crack as pain exploded from my right hind leg. 

"You have to be more than just fast! You have to be strong!" He said as he fought to pin me. I writhed, more out of pain than trying to get out from under him. I had seen hoofball, this was not tackling! Finally, I got a hoof free and rolled him from atop me, freeing myself to go back to my hooves for round two. But as soon as I tried to bare weight on my sore leg, I was nearly sent right back to the ground. The pain was so much that I had to carry it behind me, leaving me with three working legs. The little buck in my head threw his hoofs up and leaned away from the controls. Great, I'm screwed.

"Rain stop! He's hurt!" Whisp screamed. I looked to the couch and saw Whisp glaring to Rain, but I could not take in the moment for long. I stood panting, Whistle was crying. This was much more than a right of passage, this was another one of his ways to get to her. He knew she loved me and because of that, that meant I was just one more thing he could break in front of her. He was doing this, just to hurt her.

"I'm fine. I just need to catch my breath." I said, clearly not fine. I was hobbled and hurting. But I would be damned if I was going to let him keep this up. I squared my stance again, this time balancing my weight on my three good legs as I unfolded my wings.

"See... He's fine, aren't you Casky... Cardinal HAD a strong little colt, didn't she." Oh... How dare you...

I gritted my teeth, through the pain and pressed my bad leg back to the ground. Rain pushed forward again, head down and read for impact. I stood perfectly still, waiting for just the right moment. Closer... Closer... Just as his hooves came up for attack, I pushed off the ground with my wings and drove both of my hind hooves into his skull. With a satisfying crack, I drove him nose first into the flooring and flipping end over end. The impact sent me flipping forward into a coffee table where I landed head first... and right onto my bad leg... again. 

"RAIN!" Whisp shouted as he lay motionless on the floor. I rolled to my side and shook off the impact as best I could manage, but I had stars filling my vision. Just then, I felt a pare of hoofs on my cheeks. Out of reflex, I swatted them away through the haze and ringing that was filling my head. Best as I tried, they just kept coming back. Soon my vision cleared, showing me that it wasn't Rain who had grabbing me, but Whistle trying to stop the bleeding from my right eye.

I stopped flailing and rest my hooves on her's as she did what she could with a rag to stem the flow. I looked beside me to the still motionless Rain. Celestia, I must have killed him with that kick! Whistle pulled my head back to her, saying something to me in doing so, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. I was too busy looking into her eyes.

They were filled with fear. I hadn't stopped rain from hurting her after all. No matter how this ended, it was going to end just how Rain wanted it to. He had beaten me in more ways than just physical, he had found yet another way to get to Whistle. And I had been the button to press to do it. He had put me in a no win situation and dared me to try and I had, and still lost.

"Cask! Cask! Oh Luna, are you ok?" Whistle said, cradling my head in her hooves.

"Nev... Never..."I started, but I was feeling woozy. 

"Don't you say it! You are not never better!" She said as she hugged me.

"M-my..." I stammered.

"Your what? Hurting!? Where!? Am I hurting you!?" Whistle said in fear that something as simple as a hug was going to break me in my fragile state.

"My butt hurts..." I said in a whimper. 

"Cask..." She tried to say, laughing through her tears.


"Rain... RAIN!" Whisp shouted, trying to stir the grounded buck. I was happy to see that Whisp's bedside manner had not been passed on to her daughter. Whisp poked a hoof at the motionless Rain until he finally began to show signs of life. I couldn't be sure, but the look on Whisp's face was less than trilled than he had somehow managed to not be killed in the fight.

"Are you ok Cask?" Whisp asked as I was trying to stand.

"Yeeeah... Just put the peanut butter on the lobster..." I said as I chanced standing, only to quickly fall over again.

"Celestia... Whistle, you better take him home, he is no shape to be alone flying like that..." She said as she and Whistle both helped me to my hooves. The three of us trotted to the front door, all the while listening to the groans coming from Rain who was still in the living room. I had regained some of my balance, narrowly avoiding falling down into the door frame. We stepped outside into the cold night air and oh how good did it feel on my sore body. 

"Cask... I know that no mother has ever asked this of her daughters teenaged colt friend before but..." She started as she reached into the closet beside the door and retrieved a set of saddle bags and hoodie... HEY! That was my hoodie! "Would you mind if Whistle stays with you for a day or two? Rain is not going to be happy when he wakes up and..."

"It's cool. I get it. I know what would happen." Said, taking the saddlebags from her and placing them gently over my back. Just the weight of them sitting on my sore haunch sent my eye to twitching. Whisp regarded me for a long moment as I tried to tell her that I knew just how bad thing would get if she were to stay. "You know... You could come, if you wanted to." I said as carefully as I could. "There is plenty of room at our place." She looked at me with wanting, but put up a hoof.

"No, no... I'll be fine." 

"Fine nothing! You deserve better than this! You were my mother's best friend, you said that, yeah? What do you think she would say if she were here right now!?" I said, stomping my hoof. Whisp said nothing, but instead started to smile. 

"You are just like your dad, you know that, don't you?" She said, putting a hoof to my shoulder. "Cardinal would want me to watch after my little filly, just as she did with you." 

"Yeah but..." I started but was cut off. 

"You are luck little filly. He's a keeper." She said hugging Whistle. The moment was brief but it rang through my fog filled brain all the same. She wasn't running away from the problem, she was protecting her daughter by staying behind. No doubt that if she had left that Rain would have came looking for us the moment he could. Her staying would insure than he could not do just that. But it also meant that whatever was to come to Whistle was going to be ten fold towards her.

It was selfless. Excatlly what my mother would do. Exactly what I would do. 

"There has to be something we can do! Somepony we could call! Anything!" I said in frustration.

"Cask, when you came to our door... I will admit to a healthy amount of worry that you just wanted to get with my daughter for some quick fun. But then I saw who you really were and just how much Whistle cares for you. I have never really done the right thing for her when it comes to her father... Let me do this one thing." She said with her tear soaked eyes as she back into their home and put a hoof to the door. "Now, you two kids be safe. Cask, I can trust that you will look after her?" She said, her every word becoming more and more broken by the second.

"I will. You can trust me." I said, trying to mentally pull her away from the same door she was closing on us. 

"...Mom." Whistle started as she stepped forward. "I love you mom!" She shouted as she pulled herself to her. 

There was never any doubt in my mind that the moment that that door closed, it might be the last time it opened. Whisp had effectively given Whistle to me when she ask me to watch after her. Part of me hoped she knew what she was doing and that she wasn't walking into a doomed situation. Another part of me just hoped that she would be ok staying in the same house as Rain. But whatever it was that was crossing my mind, I knew that this was not going to be the end of this, not by a long shot.

The two of us made fast time of the long flight to Ponyville. Even though I had tried to convince Whistle to go to the Equestrian Guard and tell them everything that had happened, she insisted that it would not do any good. Rarely did they get involved in domestic problems between spouses, even if they did, they would more than likely ship Whistle off to a home for the next two years as she came of age. The selfish part of me would never stand for that, but another stronger part of my heart screamed to do so. It wanted anything for them to be happy and without Rain constantly abusing them.

We quickly found my home among the several houses that filled my neighborhood. Even with everything going on in our lives, I was beyond excited for Whistle to be staying with me, no matter the circumstances. The two of us trotted through the door into my home and to my surprise, my dad was actually there! For the first time in I don't know how long, he had decided to not work late and be here waiting for me.

"Cask? What in Equestria..." He started as he came closer to look over my wounds. His eyes soon darted between Whistle and I rapidly as his brain tried to jam the pieces together.

"No dad... You are not a grandfather..." I said in exhaustion.

"Oh... good... good... Mind telling me why you look like a buck that just had a fight with a mare's father?" I looked to Whistle and back to my dad.

"Whistle is going to be staying with us... for a while. I'll explain later. Things at her house are..." My dad put up a hoof and silenced me.

"No need to explain. Whistle, happy to have you." He said, offering a warm hug and a smile, something that I'm sure she needed a lot more of right now.

"I'm sorry to be a bother..." She whimpered.

"Nonsense! You are not a bother at all. Cask, I trust she will be sleeping in your bed." The very words sent my brain to a very happy place. Wow, I had to have the coolest dad... "With you on the couch, right..." Sensing my sudden increase in hormones, my father quickly boarded up the damn he had just broken. Ok... Maybe not that cool.     

"LAME!" I shouted behind me as I trotted up the stairs to show Whistle to MY room.

"Hey! I'm not the one limping now am I!" Dad said behind me. 

I nudged the door open with my nose and sat Whistle's bags on my work desk. As it often was, music filled the room from my radio that I had yet again forgotten to turn of... three days ago. My room was sparse, but well enough equipped. By that I mean I had a bed, a place to do homework and a book shelf. There was also my impressive hoodie collection, something that I had been working on since I was a little colt. They were the perfect garment! Warm, covering and had a hood. They could be used to take small naps, block out the sun and.... Well, I'm sure there are other awesome things they could do.

"This is my... Your room. Feel free to do as you like with it, the bed is soft and has a view of the apple farm." I said, giving my brief tour. Whistle trotted about the small room, taking in all of my things I had collected over the years before coming to rest right in front of me. "The uh... The bathroom is down the hall to the right..." I said as she leaned in closer to the beat of the rock music that was drowning out my words. "You can use it when you need to..." 

My words were cut short by her mouth as she kissed me against the bed. With everything so wrong with her life at this moment, I couldn't help but feel that this was more than a thank you. The two of us fell back into the bedding to one of my favorite songs, it was one that I had worn the repeat button out on over the years. I don't think I will ever forget the line 'I'm ready to run, a hundred miles strong' after kissing a mare in this room for the first time. It was more than a random gesture, it was the first time that we were truly alone together. No fear of getting caught, no worry of what her parents would think and the first time without being soaked in cloud water.

"Cask! Could you come down for a moment?" 

Well... nearly alone...

"I ah.." I started.

"Yeah. I should get some sleep." 

"Yeah-yeah! I'll just um..." I said as I trotted out the door. Oh Celestia... This is not going to end innocently, is it. I wondered down stairs, my hurt leg reminding me all the while that it was still there and ready to inflict pain at any step I took. My dad was sitting on the couch waiting for me, dressed in his usual shirt that could only mean one thing.

"Where do you think you are off too?" I said childishly.

"Hush. I have to go into work to night. Big holiday rush going on out there and I stand to make a lot of bits. I trust that you two are not going to do anything stupid, are you?" He said as he gathered his things.

"Dad... Seriously?" I said, faking my best apathetic accent.

"Uhuh... Look. Just... don't get her pregnant."

"DAD!" I shouted.

"Oh shut up... I'm not a moron son. She's here because she has to be, isn't she?" He asked point blank. I nodded in affirmation. "Then you need to consider the circumstances. You are not a little colt anymore Cask. Asking that you don't do what comes natural to a teenager is just stupid. I know it is going to happen, but you need to know that she is ready for that sort of thing and not just looking to be held. Ponies, especially mares, have a need for contact when they are hurting, it makes them vulnerable. Take advantage of it and you are no better than her no account father, understand?" 

"I get it..." I said, now worried more than I had ever been for Whistles well being.

"No son, not yet you don't. If you are going to go down that road, you need to think about what it would be like without her. If you can't bare the thought, then it will all work out, if not then you need to make it clear." He said as he trotted out the door and shut it softly. 

"Did my dad just give me permission to have sex in my room with my mare friend?" I said to myself aloud. 

"Sounded that way to me!" Whistle yelled from my bedroom. My cheeks were now burning. I could even feel my pupils dilating as I trotted back up stairs to my room.

Whistle had not gone to bed, but instead started going through my hoodies and trying them on. 

"What are you doing!? I have those arranged just so!" I shouted as I began gathering and folding them to put back in place.

"No... not this one either." She said as she took a deep sniff of each one and tossed them in a small pile.

"Whistle, that's gross! I wore that one to track practice!" I shouted as I reached for my trademark dark blue school hoodie.

"Ahh... This is the one." She said, pulling it over her head to wear.

"Whistles! Nasty!" I said, holding my nose to the smell of my deodorant and sweat. "Why are you wearing that gross thing, I haven't washed it yet! And it's baggy on you at that!" 

"It smells good to me. Like you. It being big on me reminds me I have a big strong buck to watch out for me." Ok, that hit the right button... She can have the hoodie.

"Really now..." I said sitting beside her on the bed. 

"Yeah..." She said as she snuggled into the oversize jacket.

"Well, you know... My father is out for the night..."

"Yeah?" She said, leaning in again.

"And last I checked, I'm a damn sight warmer than that hoodie you stole." I said, pressing my nose to her's. I watched as her cheeks were turning red for the first time I had ever seen them do so. Finally, she was the one that felt awkward.

"Y-yeah?" She stammered as I leaned her back to the bedding. 

"Yeah... What's say we cuddle up and get some sleep." I said in the sexiest tone I could manage without laughing.

"AW! But I was-" But her words got cut short by the presence of a feather to a very sensitive place finding it's mark. Her eyes rolled back into her head in bliss as I traced little circles around her most sensitive parts. With another wing, I reached and hit repeat on my radio as I heard my favorite song come on. Perfect.

"Cask..." Whistle whimpered as I worked my wings magic between her legs. As we kissed I could feel her body grinding into mine in want. I kept my movements in time with the music, doing my best to keep rhythm as I felt myself loosing all since of control. 

	...I still believe that we got a chance, I still believe that we got a chance to be...   

I pulled her on top of me, our hooves finding spots on our bodies that nopony else had found before. My brain swam to the thought that this would mean no going back and wondered if this was worth it. Was she the one? Was it the turmoil in our lives that we were running from by doing this? Or was it something more? 

	...Too much is never enough and too little is never enough... 

I pulled away from her to see her glimmering ecstasy filled face. Those sparkling blue eyes seemed to scream for more, as though I could do no wrong by her. I loved this mare, everything about her set me on fire, even the way her coat seemed to shine in the light of the setting sun. Everything she did made me want to pull her closer, like there was no way I could be close enough to her. I knew I could not live the same without her in my life. 


...Full speed, got my wings beating hard now, I can't go back...


"I love you." She said with me looking on to who I saw my future with.

That was all it took to break through the muddy mess that was my thoughts, pulling me out of that dark place I always went to and right back to her. She was the one. I pressed into her, throwing my cares to the wind as we both lost our virginity together. The pleasure was more than I had ever dreamed of. Maybe it was because I was with her, maybe it was because it was our first time. But it felt so good that there was no way it could be wrong.

...Flyin' 100 in a 55 and I don't know why I'm still alive, but I... Do what I can but I know I can't take anymore...

She rode atop me like we soared through the clouds on our wings. The only thing keeping us aloft was a furry of emotions. The moment felt like it lasted seconds, but it must have been hours that we made love. Time after time finding new and exciting ways to drive the other wild. It was pure and uninhibited, wild and wreckless and... free. 

We both lay basking in the afterglow, holding on to each other for dear life on my sweat stained sheets. I had since turned off the radio, instead allowing the white noise of my fan to beat through the air around us. Whistle cuddled up close to me, nuzzling my now messed up chest fluff with her nose. 

"So now what?" She asked as we simply enjoyed the moment.

"I could go for some waffles and an asprin..." I said half joking, half serious. Even after all the pleasure of having sex for the first time ever, I was still in a remarkable amount of pain. 

"Roll over." She said sitting up.

"Why, are their waffles under me?"

"Quit it." She said giving me a playful push. I did as I was told and lay on my belly, my nose being filled with the horrid scent we had created. I felt her reach out and unfold one of my wings gently, stretching it out slowly.

"What are yo-." My words fell flat on the bed beside me as she started nibbling away at one of my crooked feathers. Oh. My. Celestia... And I thought sex was the best thing I had ever felt. I had never been preened before! I sat in heaven as she worked from wing time to wing tip, fixing my broken feathers and massaging my sore muscles. I had nearly fell asleep by the time she had finished her very pleasing act on me.

"Now... What was that about your butt hurting earlier?" She said as she placed both hoofs on my rump.

Nevermind the pancakes or the asprin... This works better! It's going to be a LONG night!
> Chapter 7: Letting Go
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(pre: edit. 12/29/2017 7:28 am est)

"KADE!" A voice rang out over the crowd that I had not heard in years. It was of an old friend that at the time I had considered inseparable from at that. But fate being what it was, we had been driven apart throughout our hectic lives. I turned to find the pony who had produced its dulcet, although slightly slurred, tones. There, far off amidst a sea of ponies, he stood atop a light pole, waving with one wing as he took flight.

"Whose that?" Whistle asked. We had been waiting for her mother to show up and take her shopping when the forlorn buck had called out for me. 

"That..." I started, taking note of how the buck came in for one of his overly flamboyant landings. "...is Skyler." He stood before us wearing his form fitting uniform from the Wonderbolts academy proudly.

"Kade! I haven't seen you in years!" He said, offering his hoof for a friendly bump.

"How'ya been Sky?" I replied, giving his hoof a sharp crack.

"High as the sky... You know me." He said laughing. Truth be told, I don't think he had ever even been high before. But he seemed fond of his ice breaker. "Whoa, what happened to your eye?" He said, pointing to my face.

"Oh! She beats me." I said jokingly. Whistles did not seem to share the humor.

"And who is this feisty filly you speak of?" He said, taking a step closer.

"Oh! Sorry... Skyler, meet Whistle. Whistle, this is Skyler or Sky as he likes to be called." I said, doing my best to calm the shaking mare. 

"Pleasure to meet you. So you two know each other?" She began.

"Oh yeah... Me and Kade go WAY back. We meet when we were just colts back in kindergarden."

"Kade... I don't think I have heard you called that before." Whistle said, shooting me a sardonic look. 

"Uh... Different life, different time... It's just a old nickname." I said rubbing my mane and staring as much shut up as I could to Sky.

"Pfff. Different life... Don't tell me that there are no arenas in Ponyville." Sky, you idiot...

"Arenas? Like, flight arenas?" Whistle said, now stepping forward.

"Not flight arenas. Fight arenas." Sky started, his eye growing wide in excitement. "Kade and I used to be one the same training team." 

"Fighting? You used to Fight? Like, for sport?" Whistle said with a flat tone. Great, I knew I would not be able to keep that a secret forever, but I wanted to at least approach the idea a damn sight softer than how Sky had just blurted out. What would she think of me now!? She was already dealing with a abusive father, now her colt friend was an ex-kick boxer. This is sure to go over well.

"Again... A LONG time ago, in the past when I was young and I thought it was cool. I did used to spar a bit, but I have since found better ways to spend my time." I said, offering up my best 'please don't leave me' look.

"A bit!? You could have gone pro with that kick of yours! The fact that you are not now has to say something for how bad things must have gotten in Ponyville." Sky, if you don't shut up, I will kill you.

"H-hey! Who want's to hear about ancient history? Those were the old days." I said nervously. Whistles was now staring right at me with a very accusing look.

"Why do you look so guilty?" She said eyeing me quizzically.

"Ok... Whistles, I used to want to grow up to be a prize fighter. It was a stupid dream and I was a stupid buck, mad about losing his mother and the world was my punching bag. I used to be a real asshole back then because of it. When I moved to Ponyville, I gave up those dreams and that's when I started dealing with my depression." I said with just a touch of shame in my voice.

"So why would you not want me to know about that?" She said, taking a step closer.

"You know... I didn't want you to see me like that. I wanted you to see me for who I am, not who I used to be." 

"Cas..." She growled. Ok, did not know she could do that... a little scary in fact. The mare who was nearly a nose shorter than me was now backing me into a corner. "...Why would you go and think that I would think any different of you for that? Do you think I would see my father in you or something!?" She barked. 

"...Yes?" I meeked out. Her hoof struck the side of my head in frustration.

"Cas, I love you. Any version of you. When are you going to understand that fact?" 

"I guess that I just didn't want to lose you. I don't want to take the chance!" I said rubbing my sore cheek... Why did she have to hit me on the side of my face that hit the table. That really hurts.

"I'm not going anywhere..." She said, now sitting and looking my wound over to see if she had opened it back up again.

"I... I don't know that." 

"Look at me." She said, pulling my face away from the ground. "I know losing somepony hurts, I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like for you. But you can't go on expecting everypony to just up and disappear one day, especially me!" She said, her eyes locked to mine. She was right, but a bigger part of me screamed that she couldn't be. Nopony knows when their time is going to come, and a pony like me with my luck would be doomed to see it happen. I had lost my mother, nothing was going to change that, no amount of begging would bring her back to me and my dad. 

Severing a bond like that... it was... brutal. Life has no mercy when it come to taking ponies you care about away. It will break them down before your very eyes, wearing them away moment by moment as they fight to be with you, but life always wins. Its cruel nature making you wish for their death out of mercy and still inflicting pain along after their gone with fond memories and loved ones left behind. I saw it nearly everyday in my father for that first year. He was shattered with out my mother to come home to and even now, I catch him staring at the empty spot at the dinner table. 

My mother was just a ghost to me now, lingering in the shadows as though to remind me she would always be just close enough for me to remember, but too far away to be with. I guess that is why they call it passing on. You pass on the pain you were feeling to those you loved, even when you don't want to. 

"CASKADE!" Whistles voice broke through my mind to pull me from my reverie. "Stop... You are doing that thing again." 

"What thing!?" I shouted, angered by my interrupted thoughts. 

"You are mentally beating the shit out of yourself again..." Sky said from my side.

"I was not." I said giving a snotty sniff.

"Ya were too." He said, putting a hoof on my shoulder.

"Did he do this a lot back when he lived here?" Whistle asked, still looking me over.

"Yeah..."

"Why does he-" Whistle started but was silenced by Sky shaking his head and holding up a hoof.

"Stop, both of you. I'm not a broken toaster! Just, let it go." Whistle looked on with her usual disappointed look as I stood. "Com'on. We have to go meet your mom." I said waiting.

"Oh, ok. Hey, if you have sometime today... Want to hang out, maybe grab some lunch?" Sky asked as Whistle trotted to my side.

"Sure I guess. Where?" I asked over my shoulder.

"I'll be... well, here. Hay and Oats." He said pointing to the sign above my head.

Whistle and I trotted quietly down the otherwise loud street. Great, meet an old friend, have a nervous breakdown in front of them and leave them for dead... I should start wearing black and writing edgy poetry. Despite Whistle staring a hole into the side my head, I was refusing to look at her. I was too conflicted to talk, thought of what could happen kept my brain busy with all the possibilities. But almost to the same beat, it was telling me that I was the one putting myself in that same place that I hated going to. I knew she was right, but my mind would not let me agree with her.

We soon came to the store front of the large mall we had agreed to meet her mother at. Things at her home were still not going well, as to be suspected I suppose. Whistle's mother had asked that her stay be extended until she could get her out of control father to calm down enough for her to return home. I also found out that he was less than pleased with my version of tackling by way of kicking him in the head. I guess those long nights sparing with my friends turned out for the better after all.

"Hey. Are you ok?" Whistle asked, putting a hoof to my side.

"No. But it's not your fault." I said, hoping that it would end there.

"Talk to me. Please. I don't like it when you get like this. It scares me." She said, trying harder to get my attention. Damn it... She always knows just what to say.

"I'm... Scared." I said shamefully.

"What are you scared of?" Normally asking something like that would come with the same tone of 'don't worry about it', four words that were a useful as having lead hoofs. But her's was more of concern, rather than dismissal.

"I'm scare that... one day, I will wake up and you won't be there." I said, feeling foolish to be talking about such a thing.

"Why? Why are you scared that I won't be there one day?" She asked, pulling herself closer.

"Because, I don't think I can go back to the way things were. Not now. Not after all of this. Everything I do now, is because you are here. You are like that one light I have left, I guess I am just waiting for the day that it gets turned off again. What scares me is that, I might be the one that turns it out." She sat for a long moment, trying to process all it was I was worried about. Finally after what felt like hours, she spoke.

"Cask, I know that you are expecting to hear me say that I will always be there and that I will never leave you. But I can't say that. I don't now what the future has planned for us. But I will say this..." She said, crawling into my lap. "There is almost nothing you could do, or have done, that would make me leave now."

"Why can't we have a normal day... just once?" I said laughing.

"I don't know, maybe we should just stay home next time and watch tv or something." She said as she relaxed on her comfy pillow that she had made of my stomach. 

"So you don't care that I used to enjoy fighting?" I asked, trying to put the matter to rest.

"No... But it explains a lot of what happened at my house the other day."

"Yeah... about that." I started, shifting at the unease of the thought. "Do you think he saw that coming?"

"Not a chance in the world!" She laughed.

"You do sure make a cute couple!" Whisp said from behind us. Oh crap. How much had she just heard?

"Hi mom!" Whistles shouted in shock as she jumped to her hooves.

"Calm down. I'm alone." She said as she trotted around the bench. "Honestly, you two would think that it was a crime what you were doing." 

"Well..." I started. 

"Quit it, you. Whistle, you ready hun?" She asked, motioning for them to leave.

"Coming." She said, passing by me, pausing to give me a peck on the cheek. "Meet us in an hour at the food court?" 

"Y-yeah! Sure thing!" 

"Oh, dear... hunny you are right. He does look cute when he is all red cheeked." Her mother said with a puppy eye'd grin.

"I know right!? Like a little colt every time I kiss him! I swear!" Whistle laughed.

"Gotta go!" I shouted as I took of like a bolt of lightning. Oh Celestia, why do mares do that!? That was so humiliating. It must be a sport to them to embarrass bucks like that. I flew as fast as my wings would carry me to the resturant Sky was waiting at, the whole time thinking the most masculine of thoughts in an effort to force the red from my cheeks. 

I trotted through the door of the small dinner and glanced around for Sky. Sure enough, he had found his usual corner booth and taken purchase of it as he always did. Stained and ripped, most of the damage coming from years of him sitting there, the old stall was like a second home to the buck. Then again, his parents did own the place. 

"Caskade! How are you sweetheart?" His mother shouted from behind the counter.

"Hi Mrs. Baker! I'm great! How is Mr. Baker?" I asked, trotting to the counter.

"Oh he's just as hateful as ever. You know..." She said leaning across the counter. "Hemorrhoids are flaring up again." She whispered loud enough for everypony to hear. Just then, the voice of a angry buck came from the kitchen.

"Here! Table three better not send it back again or they will get a plate filled with spit!" He shouted as he dropped the plate before his still laughing wife. "Well, well, well... I guess they will let anypony in here! Who runs this joint, I want to speak to a manager!" He shouted in his joking manner he often used.

"Hi Mr. Baker."

"Well didn't you shape up into a strapping young buck! I don't think I have seen you in..." He paused to think for a long moment. "...Dear? Who is this again? Where am I?" He said, feeling around the place as if he were blind. 

"Oh!" She groaned as she began hitting him with a dirty rag. "Skyler is in his booth dear, would you like your favorite shake?" 

"Do you even have to ask!?" I said beaming with joy. 

"Good seeing you again kiddo!" He said as he turned for the kitchen.

"You too! Good luck with the Hemorrhoids!" Ms. Baker stuck her tongue out and winked at me in approval.

"Now damn it Sugar, are you going to tell every single pony that come in today about my butt-blisters!? Ponies are trying to eat!"

His words faded behind me as I trotted to Sky's table. He had been looking on the whole time with glee at his parent's display. Despite what some ponies might think, they worked great together as a family, valuing comedy over everything in their attempts to get the others goat in one way or another. Skyler liked to call it 'Hate Bucking'.

"I see you made an entrance. Everything ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, just dealing with stuff, that's all."

"Mom again, huh?" He asked, taking a long sip from his shake.

"Anypony ever tell you that you have a way of nuking your way into a conversation?"

"Yeah, but hey, why waste words. We are friends, you can talk to be about this kind of stuff."

"Yes. The mom thing."

"Look, I know that losing her basically destroyed you, but are you going to let this tear you up for the rest of your life?" He said, pointing his straw at me.

"How could it not!? She was there one second, gone the next! Whose to say that it would not happen to somepony else." I said, easing his hoof away from me.

"Ah... Casy is in LOVE." He said in a teasing tone.

"Shut up... But yeah... kinda."

"Kinda nothing... From what I saw, I would put 20 bits on you two being married before the end of the year."

"Oh, let me tell you..." I said rolling my eyes.

"Oh? Is there trouble in little Ponyville?"

"No, it's just that... things are going great, but her dad..."

"I take it that he doesn't like some buck smoothin' up on his daughter?"

"Hardly... Can you keep a secret? Like... A real secret?" I said leaning in.

"You know me!" He said leaning back to put a hoof on the table.

"Yeah, I do... Why do you think I'm asking you to actually keep this a secret?"

"Look, if this about that playing with yourself in the shower thing, that was just too good not to pick on you about."

"Damnit, Sky!" I said, pounding a hoof to the table. "No. Not that... But that was bullshit and you know it."

"Fine, I won't squeal." He said leaning in. "Now, serve up the juice."

"Whistle's dad... Her dad hits their mom and I think he has done the same to her. That's why I have the busted up face, he challenged me to 'tackling practice' in there damn living room. Worst of all, I think he did it, just to get to her. I think he did it to hurt her somehow through me." Skyler leaned back, his straw dangling from his lips. No doubt that he thought this was going to be something trivial, not THAT.

"You kick his ass, right?" 

"You don't see a dead buck here, do you?" 

"Good... Good... What are you going to do?"

"There's nothing I can. She already lives with me, her mom insisted on it." I looked up to Sky, who's expression was nothing short of shock. "She has been sleeping in my bed for the last few nights now. Dad seems cool with it, but I think it's either because he wants me to be happy, or because he doesn't notice, what with how much he's at work." Sky's eye started to twitch uncontrollably.

"W-wha?" He drooled.

"What?" I said in frustration. 

"Wait... You mean to tell me that she LIVES with you? Like... Your dad is all cool with it and stuff? Her sleeping in your bed?"

"Yeah? What of it?"

"Are you a wizard!?" He shouted.

"Oh, shut up."

"No! You did it, didn't you."

"Did what?" I said, confused by the earlier comment still.

"You lost your V-card to this mare, didn't you?" 

"Sky... Damn it..."

"Ooooh! Our little Caskade is all grown up!" He said, squeezing my cheeks.

"Could you not..." I said, trying to be angry but failing to my pride.

"Well, it sounds to me that you have things pretty well handled. She was in a bad place living at home by the sounds of it, now she lives with you. You were a depressed little turd, now look at you!" He said as his mother placed my favorite thing in the whole world before me! Two scoops of sweet cream, one of chocolate butter cream, all blended together with honey covered oats! Celestia take me to heaven! Comfort food does not even begin to describe it!

"What was that? What do you mean about now look at you?" I said through a mouth of orgasmic bliss. This was tied with whistles butt massage for best feeling in the world... Not quite sex or being preened, but damn close.

"You used to be depressed looking, always trotting around lost and staring at light poles. I saw how you look at her... It's like you see your future with her or something. Face it, you love the mare..." He said, again leaning back.

"That's just it. I do love her. That's what scares me. What if I screw this up, what if she leaves, what if her dad tries to kill me! There are so many what ifs that is boggles the mind!" I said, still drinking my shake.

"Quit over thinking things so much!" He said, smacking me in the forehead.

"Ow! What the hell..." What was this, beat the hell out of Cask day!?

"Sorry, worked for her..."

"Yeah well, her touch is better than your's." I said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Look, you always do this. Remember 'No-Knees Fleece?" back in school? You rebounded after your mom died and she was there for you. But you started over thinking things and ended up crying your eyes out just before you could seal the deal."

"She was a sweet mare! And I had a moment of weakness and she couldn't handle it!"

"She was a hoe, and you know it! Cask, me and the guys asked her to go out with you in hopes she would bang oyur mind straight again."

"Is that what that was!? A pitty buck!?" I asked in shock.

"Yes, damn it!" He said cracking a smile. As mad as I wanted to be, I couldn't help but laugh myself.

"I am hopeless, aren't I?" I said, pounding my head to the table.

"Like a rose in the desert, Cask. Like a rose in the damn desert." He said as the two of use laughed. I had nearly finished the amazing shake in one triumphant inhale before I noticed that nearly an hour had passed.

"Shit! I'm supposed to meet them at the food court!"

"You know what you have to do, right?" 

"No... What's that?"

"Well... The Kade I know wouldn't let life make him it's bitch like this. I know you have been down and out for a while now, but you are going to have to grab life and kick it in the balls. Forget her dad, your depression and having to move away from your amazingly awesome best friend and move the hell on. More importantly, you need to stop this scared shit and show that mare who you really are. Be that buck she can't live without that she see's in you and quit being a little bitch."
He said with a firm hoof to the table. Was Sky... talking sense!? This was not like him at all.

"Your a good buck, an ass, but a good buck."

"You know it." He said with an evil grin.

"Wana come?"

"You know it!" He said as we scrambled for the door. 

"HEY! YOU FORGOT TO PAY!"  Ms.Baker shouted after us.

"Not now mom! Kade as a mare to embarrass!" Sky shouted behind us as we made wake through the sky. The two of us flew through the mall's doors, nearly blowing it off the hinges as we raced for the food court. The two of us were quickly grounded by the 'no flying sign' as we began to tip-trot past a very angry looking security guard before turning a corner and taking off again.

We lit just outside of the stable of tables, sneaking our way towards the center of the crowded sitting area. Whistle and her mother were sitting right ahead of us in one of the center tables. Even with everypony around us talking, I was just close enough to over hear them. I made eye contact with her mother, raising a hoof to my mouth to keep her from giving us away as I rolled my shoulders and began my stalk. Call it my uplifted mood, call it the wise words of a old friend who knew just how to remind me who I really was. But I was enjoying being playful for a change.

"...it's like every time I start to get close to him, he puts up a wall! I just don't know what to do.." Whistle said, her tone feeling hurt as it found my up turned ear.

"Hun, Cask has been through a lot, just like we have. When his mother passed, his father fell into a void, he blocked out almost everypony that had anything to do with Cardinal to keep from feeling the pain of losing her. Cask was just a colt when she died, but he was old enough to feel what it was like to lose somepony you care about. It stands to reason he would not want to talk about his feelings, he has probably been dealing with them alone for a long time now." Whisp said as I inched closer.

"But how do I get through to him? I don't think that he knows how I feel about him because he keeps worrying about losing me too! He is the only buck that I have ever felt... that spark with. Its like he knows exactly what to say when I'm sad to make me happy. Just being close to him makes me happy. He says that's how he feels too, but I just don't know."

"Nopony ever said love was easy dear. You have to take on their problems when you do. Sometimes, just being there is enough, but sometimes there is nothing you can do for them but to wait for them to come to you first. Cask is that kind of buck, I think." She said in a sweet tone, all the while trying not to laugh at the two stupid bucks who were sneaking up on her daughter. I heard every word of what she said, but my mood refused to come down even an inch. 

"So what do I do?" Whistle asked.

"If you love him, you have to be willing to wait for him. Some ponies are worth it, like Cask... Others..." She said trailing off. "Is he?" Whistle was taking entirely too long to answer than question. My heart dropped as I waited just inches behind her, my ear twitching at every sound. Sky shot me a nervous look, surely thinking that if this went wrong now, it was going to be a long afternoon of sneaking off to steal from his parents liquor cupboard... again. 

"He is... He so is..." Whistles said, her every word broken. "I know he is stubborn, but if I have to wait, I will." Sky was now putting a hoof to his mouth to keep from gagging. 

"And why is that?" Whisp asked, now out of my view.

"Because... I think... I know he would wait for me." That's my cue. I reached up and gabbed the back of her chair, leaning it backwards to were I was looking down on her. She let out a scream at the sudden act, flailing and nearly knocking the table over. I pressed my lips to hers and gave her a real kiss, for the first time not being provoked by her, but being given from me.

"I would." I said as we finally parted. Whistle reached up to wrap her hooves around my neck. It was sweet, clumsy, we ended up falling to the floor atop the still hiding Sky just below me, but sweet nonetheless.

"Cask! How long-" She started as I lay atop her and Sky both.

"Every word."

"Oh... My..." She mumbled through her hooves. 

"This is adorable and all... but could you wrap it up? I can't feel my legs. The two of us rolled off my poor friend and did our best to help him up to his shaky hooves. 

"What did you bring him for?" Whistles asked, trying not to sound too indignant.

"Emotional support." Sky said as he trotted up to her mother. "Well HELLO mom." Sky said in possibly the most seductive and totally uncalled for tone I had ever heard. 

"Well, hello yourself!" She said giggling.

"Now, what's a beautiful mare like you doing sitting all ALONE?" Sky said, shooting me a look. Ah... That was what he was on about. Best damn wing pony in all of Equestria. 

"Let's take a walk, want to?" I asked as I offered a wing to her. 

"Is that ok, mom?" Whistle asked as Skyler worked his 'magic'.

"Sure! But, please come back soon... Please." She said, looking at the faux smitten buck fearfully.

The two of us trotted down the halls of the mall, trying to find a place that was secluded enough for the two of us to have some alone time. Finally, of all places, we found refuge in the rafters of the main lobby. High above prying ears, the two of us shared the small catwalks together as we trotted around the atrium. 

"So, you were snooping." Whistle said, giving me a bump with her side.

"Well, it wasn't planed but how could I pass it up."

"So you heard, everything then." She said, lowing her head in shame. I put a hoof to her chest and guided her to sit next to me to look out the window together. 

"Now, don't go doing the every thing that you were saying that I do all the time." 

"What?" She said, pulling away from me.

"Whistle... I haven't been completely honest with you. I mean I have told the truth the whole time we have been together, but I feel like I have been keeping stuff from you." I said, staring out the window. Despite having the energy to talk about this, I still could not bare to look at her. It was going to be something I would have to work on I guess.

"Ok... then why don't you tell me now? I'm right here." I looked down to those big blue eyes, shimmering like two pools of hope that this was finally going to be the time I opened up to her. Well, here goes nothing...

"When I was little, after mom passed, I spent an entire month in my room alone. I kept asking why it was that she had to be the one to go. I would spend my days staring out the window and my nights crying myself to sleep. I love my mom, but the world just... took her. There was no reason behind it, she wasn't old, she just got sick. When she passed, it was like it tore this hole in my heart, like when she left us it took something from me that I could never replace."

"Cask..." She started but I put a hoof up to stop her. I had to get this out now or it was going to hurt us in the long run.

"I know... I know... It was a long time ago, I should be over it by now and for the most part I am. But I don't think I could be without you. That part of me that was torn out as a little colt, you somehow found a way to fill. It was like... when I first met you, you started to... fix me. Everyday we were together, every note we passed, every time we kissed... every second together... that pain I had held onto for so long, started to fade." Whistle stood staring at me as I looked off into space. I still couldn't look at her, I knew what I would see and it would kill me.

"All that time, I carried it with me. It was my last reminder of her, the one thing that kept her memory close to me. I didn't want to let it go. Even now, I feel it slipping away from me the longer I'm with you. I hate it! It hurts like losing her all over again... But the more I see of you, the less I hurt. Not just being with you, but seeing how much you care for me, how you look at me even. I still nearly kills me every time it happens, but it's worth it to be with you. Because every day that pain fades away a little more when I am with you. It wasn't until I heard what you said, about being worth the wait, that I knew." 

"Knew... what..." I couldn't see her face, but her words told the story, coming to my ears in a near squeak.

"I knew that you were the one. You could be the one that filled that hole, give me back what I lost, the one that I could trust. I don't know what's going to happen next for us... but as long as we have each other, we will make it work." I looked down to the catwalk, there was small puddle of tear drops between us that had taken shape. This time, not just mine. I watched as the two of them flowed together into a sad little pool at our hoofs, almost symbolically linking us together. 

That wasn't so bad... but now had to come the hard part. I had to look at her after saying all of the things I had never told anypony. I slowly turned my head to meet her gaze. The all too familiar look filled my vision. Her blue eyes glistening with tears and grown wide as she looked right back at me. I saw everything in those eyes. Fear, love, pain, wanting, passion and worry. All of them seemed to meld together as she tried to talk, but no words came out. I waited quietly, just taking in the shape of her face as she processed everything.

I had become so lost in those shimmering pools that I jumped when she threw her hoofs around me. She buried her head into my wing as I cradled her, holding her close to me as she cried. She was shaking. I was feeling that all too familiar pain that I had for so long as I let the last of her memory fade away. I kept reminding myself that this was good, but how could it be good if it hurt this bad? 

I felt Whistle pull me in close to her as she pressed her lips against mine. And just like that, the pain washed away. This was good, but it never could be without her. She was the one pony who could find that part of me that was hurting and bring it back to life again. Nopony had ever done than for me, I had never felt anything like it before. It was... Happiness. 

"Next time we stay home and watch tv... ok?" Whistle said, trying to clean her face with a wing.

The two of us finally consoled one another enough to clean up and go back to the food court. We had only been gone a moment, but I felt like we had flown a hundred miles. I was emotionally broken, physically exhausted and... hungry? Why was that a thing!? It's like all emotional break throughs call for food, ice cream at that! 

The two of us rounded the corner to find that Sky was nowhere to be found. Instead of the proud buck in his uniform, a new buck had taken his place. Rain.

"Let's... Let's get out of here... I don't like this!" Whistle said, shying away. I watched on as the short buck yelled and screamed to his wife from across the court. He came here, he actually came here and he is screaming at her in public! What was he doing here anyway, the weather team was scheduled to be in the Harmony Valley today. Last I had heard it was all hooves on deck to clear the blizzard clouds from the place before it hit Ponyville.

"No... This has to stop." I said taking a step forward. 

"Please! Let's leave!" Whistle said, pulling at my wing. 

"This is just going to keep happening. You two will never be happy until he is gone." I said, staring him down.

"Cask, no! He's not worth it!"

"Your right... He's not." I said as I felt Whistle pull away for us to leave. "But you are. Stay here." 

Even with Whistle begging me to stay, I couldn't. Not after everything that had just happened. She was the one thing in my life I had and this was the buck that was going to try and take it away. Life took my mother and there was nothing I could do about it. But this buck, this asshole was here, right in front of me and unlike life, I can touch him. The little buck in my head stood in aw at my stupidity, threw up his hooves and trotted right out of the control room. Looks like it was just going to be me doing something stupid.

"HEY! ASSHOLE!" I shouted across the food court. Everypony within a half a mile spun to see the stupid buck who had just shouted at the top of his lungs. "Who're you looking for?" I said as I started to circle the table. Rain looked up to me in shock, something I had not planed on.

"Who am I looking for? Who are you looking for?" He said, his every word dripping with false bravado. 

"Oh I found him, he's right here old man." 

"Oh really now... Well, go on then, say hello." This had to be the stupidest fight in history. 

"Please, ladies first, I insist." Everypony in the food court was now looking on at their free show they were being given.  The two of us circled the table that Whisp was still sitting at. Even with her yelling to the two of us, neither of us could hear.

"Am I a lady now?"

"Half to be... No BUCK would talk to his wife like that." I fired back at him.

"What are you saying, I think you need to elaborate." He said as he squared his stance against mine. Our eyes dug into one another, teeth gritting in the calm that was to prelude the storm. I cocked my lip up into a snark.

"Pussy." At the mere mention of the word, his hoofs skittered to life as he raged towards me. 

Fighting with anger can only go one of two ways. You can use it as fuel to push you through the hardest moments of fighting, pushing through pain you should never be able to handle. The there is the approach Rain took. Barreling head on into the fight swinging wild, trying to end things quickly. 

I, on the other hoof found a third, more interesting avenue of attack. Piss him off just enough to see red, and step out of the way as he charged head on into a railing behind me. Rain's head hit the rail with a loud clang as I danced in place, trying not to fall over. I spun to see him clambering back to his hooves with fire in his eyes. Obviously this was the same trick I had pulled back in his home, chances of it working twice? Slim, but hey, it worked.

He pushed off the railing, flying right for me. I braced for the impact, waiting for him to get just close enough for me to take a chance at round two. Right as he got near me, he reared up to block me flying above him and knocking him to the ground as I done the last time we 'tackled'. Perfect!

Right as his hooves came crashing down, I stepped forward, reached for his neck and used his momentum to send him over my head... sending his into the tile floor behind me. My back popped at the strange position I was asking of it as I lifted his mass and sent it driving towards the ground behind me. I had not tried that in years and my body was quick to remind me that if you don't use it, you lose it. 

In spite of the pain, I rolled to my hoofs and backed away for his next attack. But nothing came of it. Before Rain could find his way to his hooves, mall security had rushed in to stop us. I stood perfectly still, doing my best to look like I was just another school kid, while Rain did his best to see through the blood coating his vision to beat up the security guards.

"What's going on here!?" One of the guards shouted. 

"He attacked me!" Rain yelled out.

"Did not, I asked why you were screaming the word 'whore' at your wife in the food court, then you attacked me!" I shouted back, fanning the flames.

"What!? I did no such thing!"

"Enough out of you!"

"Sir, can I go now? My dad sent me to get school supplies and he will be mad if I don't make it home for dinner." 

"Wait a second... How old are you, son?" The guard holding Rain back asked.

"S-sixteen." I fake a meek voice and looked down to the floor.

"Great Luna! You were fighting a minor!?" The guard said in shock. Heh... I bet he never saw that coming. And I doubt that anypony is going to say anything after the way he spoke to Whisp in front of them. 

"He's not a kid! He's a sniveling little shit of my daughter's coltfriend!" 

"That's enough! We will the let the Guard decide that."

"Sir's? Can I go now, I live in Ponyville and it's a long way home." I said giving my best puppy dog eyes.

"Unless you want to stay and give your side of the story. You are free to go." Shit... ok, hadn't planned on that.

"I saw EVERYTHING!" I looked up to see the most beautiful looking buck in all of Equestria..." That buck is a real asshole! Fighting a teenager like that." Rain might have been able to talk his way out of cuffs without me there... But not if a buck who is in the Wonderbolts training camp AND my best friend...

The mass of ponies took Rain kicking and screaming from the food court as Sky and I shared a look. Just like old times.

"Sorry to dine an dash love, but I am needed else where..." Skyler said to Whisp as he did his best to curtsy in his awkward uniform. I turned to look at her in shame, she was going to be pissed for sure, but please Celestia don't let her have that 'disappointing' look on her face that all mom... Crap.

"What were you thinking!?" She nearly yelled at me as the two of us trotted to the main hallway where Whistles was still hiding behind a trashcan. "You could have been killed!"

"Sorry..."

"You know he will be pissed when he gets out, why would you do that." She said, not asked to me as we passed Whistles, who quickly joined our trotting lecture.

"Sorry..."

"And to think, I thought you were as smart as your mother!"

"Sorry..." Whistles looked on with a small smirk as her mother tore me a new one all the way to the front doors of the mall.

"You had better not do something that stupid again!"

"I won't... Also, sorry..."

"Now... I have to head home. I'm sure rain will be thrilled to see me when he gets there." She said as she untucked her wings to take off.

"Wait. The offer stands, you can come and stay with us." I said, more begging than offering. 

"No, no... I'm sure he will have a chance to sleep it off in lock up. If I'm no there, he will just come looking for you two." She said as she began to hover. Whistles and I did the same but before we could take off, Whisp called out for us.

"Wait..." She said as she came closer to us. She reached out and hugged Whistles goodbye and gave me a peck on the cheek, making sure to make it as mom like as possible to gross me out.

"EWWWWW..." I shouted as I pawed at the spot she kissed. Whistles nearly fell out of the sky laughing at my disgust.

"Thank you... Don't let it go to your head and don't make a habit of it but... thank you." She said before she flew away from us. I looked back to Whistles who was now dealing with a serious case of the laughs and gawked at her.

"What!?" I shouted to her.

"I... I..."

"Well spit it out already..."

"I think she likes you more than Skyler!" She said as she rolled on the ground laughing.

"Well... rightfully so. I am better looking." I said as Whistles finally found the energy to get back to her wings.

"Speaking of..." She started as she leaned in close to me. "What are the chances of you getting your hooves on that suit of his..." She said with WAY more sexual innuendos that I thought possible hung on every word.

"Don't tell me you were checking him out..." I said, putting a hoof to my forehead. 

"No, no... But I saw him in uniform... I could help but wonder what you would look like too..." She said biting her lip.

"Are you serious right now!? Are we doing this after I beat up your dad!? Now!?" I said in awe. How was it that she could come from an abusive home and still manage to be turned on by this kind of stuff!?

"Just go with it... But can you? Not looking for judgement, just a yes or a no." She said tapping her hooves together.

"Have you any clue how awkward that conversation is going to be!? Hey, Sky, Can I borrow your flight suit? My mare friends wants to bang me in it!" I said throwing my hooves wide. Whistle started biting her lip, never giving up hope on me saying yes... Damn it... I'm going to have to do this, aren't I? 

"Sure... just wash it before you bring it back..." Skyler said below us. I looked down in horror to see him climbing out of his suit right there on the sidewalk.

"Seriously!?" I shouted my voice cracking in disbelief. 

"Hey... Anything for a friend." He said, as he passed the still warm suit to me. Whistle's eyes grew wide as she reached out to hug Sky, seeming to have given her the best pre Hearts Warming present ever. I think she actually let out a squee. "You two better get going, I heard them say that they were going to release Rain into his wife's custody soon."

"Thanks again... for everything." I said as I tucked the suit into my bags.

"Don't mention it. Just... Wash it... in fact, wash it before you put it on. Also, stop being such a damn stranger... It was good seeing you, both of you." He said as he flew off into town. What a great buck... I wish we could hang out more. I finished tucking the suite away and looked up to Whistle's wide eye'd grin.

"What?" I said, trying to break her trance. "What is it girl?" Again silence. "Are you hungry?" More silence and more grinning. "Did little Timmy fall down the well again!?" Nothing... Then I dawned on me... I hung my head. "You are going to make me wear the suit as soon as we get home... aren't you?" I looked up to see a smiling, nodding frantically mare who looked like she had just won the lottery. 

"Come on... Dad's working late." I said with an evil grin.
> Chapter 8: We All Fly Away
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Feathers of Fate
Chapter 8
We All Fly Away






{pre edit 2-28-18}


I awoke in a fevered sweat, my heart racing to the all-to-real dream that had shook my mind to consciousness. Even though the vivid hallucinations and images had had the effect of breaking though my usual deep sleep, they had slipped away from memory, leaving behind only my pounding heart and heaving chest. That is, all apart from a huge set of glowing eyes. What had happened to make me feel like this!? I remember... something about Whistles and her father... Come on! What happened. I had woke up though dreams in the past, but usually I could at least remember what had happened. Was it so bad that my brain refused to recall it? Was it important? Damn it...

I rolled off the couch and trotted to the kitchen, all the while my brain searching for the faintest of clues as to what had spured the nightmare. Sure a lot had happened in the last week since Whistles for the most part moved in... hell, even in the last 3 weeks for that matter! School was slowly becoming something of a near impossibility now that most of my days were spent with my marefriend. Every class was a struggle to even get through, let alone make a passing grade in. All I wanted to do was spend time with Whistles and not be where I was at that very moment. 

Then there was her parents. Sure her dad had backed off after the indecent at the mall, more likely due to a stern warning from the guards, but a welcomed absence nonetheless. However neither of us had counted on her mother being so... clingy! It seemed like everyday she wanted us both to fly to Cloudsdale to meet up for yet another random reason. Last week she wanted us there for coffee... COFFEE! I hate coffee and I'm getting tired of flying everyday after school! But despite all of the simple issues that felt like monumental conundrums, the real stress in my life started not long after the mall indecent. 

My father had always been a very enthusiastic pony about things. He would usually over react over the smallest thing whether it be good or bad and blow it completely out of proportion. Largely this had lessened after my mom passed, but would come back infrequently anytime he wanted to go back to work. I had always just chalked it up to him having ADD or something, but I never could have imagined that he would be doing drugs. Of all the things that is in this world, of all the possibilities, I never in a millions years would have labeled him an addict. 

I found out when I got the call from his shop by one of the cashiers. He had gone nearly 72 hours straight without sleep, something I had come to see as a weekly occurrence, and passed out on the sawmill. Had it not been for his forebuck seeing his body between the two logs, I would have been an orphan. He had hidden his addiction well, so much so that by the time I got to the hospital, he was awake and wanting to head back to work. It wasn't until the blood work came back and showed an absurd amount of a new drug named 'Dash' in his system that we found the full extent of the damage. 

He had been using for as long as mom had been gone, hiding behind a curtain of medicated energy to cover up the same pain that he and I were sharing. It's started with something called 'Mint-als' not long after use loosing mom. Before long it had became not enough to burn off the depression and my father had turned to stronger and stronger narcotics. Mint-als became Buck and that had turned into Dash. The doctor told me that kind of progression was typical with long term addicts, but I still can't accept that. This is my dad. MY DAD! Not some strung out junkie! He was just trying to cope! I know it seemed bad but... That's my dad.

The fast pace of chemicals had taken a heavy toll on not only his mind, but his body as well. His heart showed sever signs of enlargement, his brain had formed lesions and it seemed like his entire body had been wracked by the damage for near constant chemical induced energy. He had gone from a relatively young father, to a husk of buck, nothing more than a shadow of what he once was. I couldn't believe I had not seen it sooner. I guess when you never see somepony, you can't see how bad they are hurting, or in this case, hurting themselves.

I stood at the sink as I filled my glass with water, only now noticing that it had been over flowing this whole time. It was nearly four in the morning, it wouldn't be long before I would have to start getting ready for school. I would have to wake up Whistle, make breakfast and somehow figure out how to get through another day in one piece. If It had not been for her, I would have fallen apart through all of this, yet somehow, I still felt as though she was the one that needed me more. I had to keep it together, through my dad lying in his hospital bed detoxing, though her father's ever watchful eye and through... just, life. 

I felt like I was being torn at the seams, ripped between wanting to run away and trying to hold everypony together while not falling apart myself. I had to stay strong, I had to keep moving. I know that one day everything will be alright... but, WHEN!? Why can't it be now? Why can't it be right now that everything comes together and I get to be happy? 

I watched the water trickle over my hoof and down the drain as I shut off the tap and dropped the glass. I braced my hooves on the sink's steel rim and began gritting my teeth to the point where I thought they might snap. Whistle... Rain... My dad... I began pounding my hoof into the metal beneath it. "Com'on! Pull it together Cask..." I said through my clinched jaw. Whisp... School... Clouds... The names and places seemed to flood my mind the more I tried to hold them back until finally...

"Mom..." I mumbled to my self. My broken words only deafened by my rhythmic pounding hoof. I drooped my head into the sink and pressed my eyes shut and just... waited. I waited for the pain to pass, for the hurting to stop and for my tears to dry, but it didn't. Not this time. I had always been about to push the bad thoughts away, I had always been able to run away. But now, now I was trapped. My heart pulled for me to run as far from everything as I could, but doing that would mean being alone and leaving Whistles behind. I was being ripped apart and nopony was to blame. 

"Be calm now, little one." A voice rang out through the stillness that had surrounded me. "Please, wont you turn to me?" 

I looked up, my ears perked to a sound so sweet that I could only equate it to the sound a feathers rustling. There, in the window's reflection stood behind me a figure of dark blue and sapphire. My kitchen was gone and I stood alone at a sink that was evaporating under my hooves. Everything around me seemed to fall away, the walls, the appliances and the floor beneath me, all gone and leaving behind what I could only describe as a dim white world over cast by stars... and no moon.

"Don't you think it is time to stop crying over what is lost?" She said sweetly. I turned to face a mare I never thought that I would get to meet face to face, but was now sharing a dream with.

"P-princess..." I started, trying to compose myself as best I could. 

"Shhh... there is no need." She said as she placed a hoof under my tear soaked chin. "Caskade, you need not worry about formalities." Her touch was like no other, it was like pure either yet at the same time the same as the softest pillow I had ever felt. I relaxed myself into her touch, taking in every moment of comfort she was giving me. 

"What, what is all of this?" I asked as I looked up to her light emerald eyes. 

"This is your dream. Rather, was."

"I-I don't understand..." I started. Princess Luna was here, right in front of me and this was all my dream? I had heard that she always had visited ponies dreams when they needed them... "I was having a nightmare..." 

"Yes, you were." She said softly as she stroked my mane.

"B-but I never have those, I rarely even dream." I stammered.

"You rarely ever sleep soundly enough to." He tone was sweet but I still felt guilty that I was was not sleeping properly and now being visited by the literal princess of dreaming. Forget the principal's office... this was on a whole new level of scary.

"I'm sorry..."

"Do not worry, I would suspect a pony as young as you who has been through as much as you have would have plenty to loose sleep over." 

"You... know?"

"About your father and Whistle? Your mother? Yes. But only from what I could see in your dream." She said all the while manifesting hazy windows around her, each one showing a different pony who seemed to be sleeping in a bed... all except one. It was gray and nearly indescribable, but I knew the mare in the image. 

"Mom? Is that... My mom?" I asked, shifting my eyes back forth from her and the floating window. It was like a highlight real of everything I remembered from her, all the best times in our lives. 

"Yes. Your memory of her is faded, but I can see that it is very dear to you."

"I... I miss..." I started but was cut off by a wave of her hoof.

"Caskade... Just because she is no longer here, does not mean that she is no longer with you. She lives in your heart."

"I don't understand..."

"With everything you do, you put the ponies around you first. You always strive for them to have a better life than your own, just as she would have done, do you not?" I said nothing, but looked on in aw to the words she was saying to me. "Letting go of the hurt is not letting go of the ones we love. It is letting them take control of our happiness and using what they have taught us to do well by others."

"But I..." I started but I was cut off once more.

"Your mother will always be with you, with everything you do. She gave your her love to pass on and I have seen that you have done just that to another." She said as the windows around her coalesced into one large floating orb. Inside of it lay a tossing and turning Whistles, the sheets of my bed were wadding into knots and sweat drenched her body. "But even still, the love your mother gave to you is not going to be enough."

"What!? I love her! I know I do!"

"Yes, you do. But you do not show it the way that she needs you to. You protect her, but you do not show her the love that she needs. Even now she is dreaming about loosing you. She fears that you may one day leave her because of her timidness."

"I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!" I shouted. How could a all knowing being that can visit your dreams not see how much I cared for her!? I was always there, right by her side, never once troubling her with my problems and always ready to catch her when she fell. 

"You know that. But does she? There is more to love than just being with the one we love and helping them through their hard times. Sometimes, to show them that you love them too, you have to let them help you."

"What are you saying?"

"You would not want the same fate that has befallen others around you to become your own, would you?" I stood shocked. My dad had put on a brave face to protect me from his falling apart. Rain was afraid of how other would see him and acted out in violence. Whisp stood silent as Rain screamed and shouted at their daughter. Whistles hid from her pain, not talking to anypony from fear of rejection. And here I was, fighting back the tears from all of it to try and hold her and I together long enough to save us both from it all.

"It's me, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yes."

"But... what do I do? I can't just... let them all go? There has to be a way to fix all of this!"

"Sometimes... it is best to let go of those that hurt you, stand beside the ones that need you there and hold the ones you love close so they can help shoulder the burden. After all, pain shared is pain divided."

"I have to choose... don't I?"

"That is for you and you alone to decide. But I will say this..." She said as she gave my mane another stroke. "If it were me, I would follow my heart. Denying it can have grave consequences." She said into my ear as though it were a secret before pulling away from me. The world around us began to swirl and toss as everything melted away.

"Princess Luna!?" I shouted through the mist that was quickly consuming the two of us.

"Yes, my child."

"How do you know all of... this?" I asked as I fought from closing my eyes. She turned to me and smiled.

"I have had plenty of time to think, just as you have." And with that, my eyes opened. 

The living room was dark apart from the moonlight shining down on me. I looked up to the glowing ball of white and blue placed perfectly in my window frame and blinked. What just happened? That's not like any dream I have ever had before! I could actually remember everything that happened, it was... REAL! Like, really real! 

My my body struggled to wake up in a desperate attempt to mach my racing mind and heart. It was like a veil had been lifted from my thoughts. Everypony that had caused me to have a near nervous break down seemed to wash away, leaving behind clear answers as to what I needed to do. It was like I passed out sick and woke up healthy. I couldn't explain it, but something in me felt... changed. 

I looked to the clock on the on the wall, four thirty in the morning. Whether or not everything that had just happened had ACTUALLY happened, I was feeling... better? More confident? No, sure. I felt, sure. I sat thinking about everything that had gone on over the last few weeks... months... whatever. I remember the words 'Sometimes... it is best to let go of those that hurt you'. Well that's a no brainer... Screw Rain, for that matter at this point forget about Whisp. 

'Stand beside the ones that need you there.' Dad... All this time I had been in denial about what was going on with him, just as he had been. I wanted nothing more than to run away from anything and everything that reminded me of my mom, just as he had. When in reality, we needed each other to get through this together. Even now, I was sitting in our home, going to school even when he probably need me now more than ever. 

'Hold the ones you love close so they can help shoulder the burden.' Whistles... As much as she probably needed me, i needed her too. Without her I don't think I could make it through another day. I had came into her life, just as she had become a part of mine. But I was the one holding back... again. I know that by each other's side, the two of us could overcome almost anything together. But still... All I want is to be with her, just her. I want to help my dad. I want us all to fly far away from here and start a new life.

Why can't that be! Well, could it be? My mind raced as it tried to cobble the pieces together, slamming the jagged thoughts into something more of an idea than a plan.

"One problem at a time... My dad is lying in a hospital bed detoxing. Whistle is lying in bed in the middle of a nightmare. Rain is... I hope dead. I got this." I said to myself as I stood and made my way to my bedroom to wake up Whistles... Or snuggle with her, both seemed like good ideas right now. As I trotted down the hall, I could make out the faint muffles coming from my room. 

I pressed the door open and stepped to the side of my bed. The covers were just as I remembered them, wrinkled and wadded into a ball that she had made. She held it close to her, as if it were her last prized possession. Slowly, I pulled them away and let them fall to the floor as I slid into her hooves. No sooner than I had pulled them away, her hooves fought to pull them back. But instead of old linens, her hooves found me and pulled me in close. 

I gently began to stroke her light blue mane as I comforted her awake. It wasn't fair that a mare as beautiful as her had to go through what she had, but as long as I was here, I was going to make damn well sure she knew it would never happen again. I could only hope that she would return the favor. I guess that is why they call it blind faith, you never can see what trust the other pony has for you. 

Her eyes peaked out from under her soft white coat, shimmering the same way that I had come to love. I nuzzled her cheek with my nose and pressed my head to her's. "Bad dream?" I asked.

"Not anymore..." She said as she melted into my chest. "I dreamed you left me." Well, at least I'm not going insane.

"I'm not going anywhere." I said as I too relaxed against her warm body.

"Why?"

"Because I need you. Because every second away from you is a lifetime. Because without you, I can't make it through this and because I love you." I said as I rested my chin atop her forehead. 

"Do you... mean that?" 

"Every word." 

"What are we going to do now?" She asked as I covered her side with my wing.

"I hear Manehatten is nice..." 

"Seriously..." She said, giving my side a light punch.

"We let go. We got each other, we don't need anypony else."

"Let go? Let go of what?" 

"Anything we don't want to hurt us anymore."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

We layed there until the sun came up, not talking, but just being together. It was the first time that I felt confident that I could actually be happy again. I could only hope she felt the same way, but even still, I know she wanted to be free of all this as much as I did. There was only one way out, we both knew it, but neither of us wanted to admit it out loud. We were going to have to leave this place if we truly wanted to be happy together.

It was a huge jump, a scary one in fact. No money, no where to go, nothing to bring with us and nothing ahead of us but miles upon miles and years together. Oddly enough, that was more than enough for me to want to leave right this moment, but I had other things that needed to be taken care of first.

"We need to get ready for school." She said as she rolled to her other side.

"I'm not going." I said as I rolled from the bed to the floor and proceeded to start digging through the mass of hoodies that lay across the room. "Whistles... You have got to start folding these things up!"

"What do you mean you are blowing off school!? Also I can't help it if you put the best ones on the bottom." She said as she trotted over, took the hoodie I had chosen for the day and slipped it on. 

"I mean, I have more important things to worry about. Dads in the hospital going through withdraws, I think that affords me the chance to skip!" I said as I pulled yet another zippered hoodie from the stack.

"B-but... Wont your  dad get mad at you for skipping!?" I turned to see that she had once again taken her defensive posture towards the thought of upsetting her parents, shrinking into fluffy fabric of her now jacket to hide.

"I highly doubt it. Besides, at this point... I already know I'm failing just about all my classes and with him gone, somepony will need to watch over his shop... might as well be me."

"What do you mean you are failing!? We study every night!" She said as she looked at me in worry.

"You study... I watch. Whistles... To be honest, I just want to be near you. I guess it makes me feel... safe, I don't know. But my point is, when you are talking about school work, I'm usually looking at you and wondering how I am going to make this all work for us."

"You keep saying that. What do you mean by 'make this all work'? Do you know something I don't? Something I should know?" She asked, her every word accusing me as she looked on.

"I mean..." I started as I sat down. "How I am going to keep you safe from your parents, how I am going to keep you happy long enough for you to see I am more than just another buck who thinks you are cute, how I am going to make it through another day without falling apart from stress or fear that one day you might not want me around anymore. Everything I love seem to get all fucked up somehow, with you it's different, I feel confident, but it still scares me. And most of all, I can't shake the Idea of us just... running away."

"Cask... Where would we go?" She asked as she took a place in front of me.

"Anywhere but here. Just so long as you come too." She didn't say anything, but instead wrapped her hooves around me. "I can't do any of this without you. I know you want to go to school but..."

"But?" She asked as she stroked my mane, just as Luna had done.

"But I could really use a pony to hang onto right now. I'm not far from my breaking point and... and... I need you." I whimpered in hopes that she would see that I was being sincere.

"Cask... that's all you had to say." She said as she helped me to my hooves. "You know I would do anything for you, you just have to ask." She said with a sweet smile and her sleepy eyes that could show one thing. Relief. 

Maybe it was actually confiding in her, maybe it was me showing weakness to her, maybe it was even her own desire to help being fulfilled. Either way, it was like all of that stress I had been dealing with had been halved the moment she agreed to go with me to the hospital and stay by my side. Pain shared, is pain divided, just as I was told. If that simple fact was ringing true, maybe everything I had been told in that dream could be true too. Maybe if i open up to her more, she will feel less like I could leave at any second. After all, we both shared the same fears of being left alone again. It was going to take time, something we had plenty of, to show each other that the other was not going to just vanish one day, but at least this was a step in the right direction. 

The two of us finished getting dressed, making the bed and finally, grabbed a few things from my fathers room to take to the hospital with us. I had hoped that a few pictures and his blanket from his bedding would be enough to bring him some comfort for his stay at the hospital. I know if I was locked up in that place I would want something to remind me of what I had waiting for me back at home. Then again, if I were him I would want nothing more than my son to be there with me. 

With that all-to-familiar wave of guilt washing over me, I began to recount what the doctors had said as we trotted up the street to Ponyville General Hospital. He was in the late stages of being a drug addict, at this point detoxing was going to be the hardest thing he had ever done. His dependency for the narcotics were beyond even his body's simple desires to eat or go to the bathroom. Even with the meds they were giving him, it was going to take weeks of detoxing for him to come around again. All the while his body would be subjected to levels of stress that of being on the front-line of a battle field. With his deteriorated state, it would be a miracle if you would pull through without lasting effect from the shear trauma, let alone the damage the drugs had done.

That was just the treatment, after that he would need surgery to relieve the swelling of the brain that would soon follow. He would also end up needing a heart transplant more than likely in the not too distant future less he develop full on heart disease. Then, if he made it past all of that, there was the worry of a relaps from the mental scarring from both the trauma and from now having to fully deal with my mother's death that he had been suppressing all this time. Not doubt that this was not going to be a short process, but rather months or even years of recovery.

The two of use found our way to the hospital's lobby in short order, thankfully it was not far from my small neighborhood. All that confidence I had back at the house had began to wain, where I wanted to be here, I still wanted to run as far from this place as I could. Even though the two of us trotted in silence to the ward where my father was being treated, my thoughts were screaming. Just the thought of seeing him in a state that the doctors had warned me about flooded my brain with fear. 

My dad had always been so strong and sure of everything. Even after mom passed it had seemed like he was coping well enough, so much so that I always felt safe when he was around. But now... after finding out it had been the drugs all along, left me feeling betrayed and fearful. Much in the same way one would after a near brush with injury or death, nearly everything I knew about him had been tainted by the drugs.

Whistles stopped me and pointed to a door to my right, this was it, no going back now. No more hiding away from this, I was going to have to see... 

"D-dad?" I squeaked. My jaw hung open at the sight before me. That... He... It couldn't be him. My father's body seemed to be withering before my very eyes. It had only been a few days, but the color had seemed to have completely drained from his coat. Everything, absolutely everything in the room brought pain. From his sunken in eyes to the small spatters of bile on his oxygen mask, even the walls felt like they were closing in around him. This wasn't a hospital room, I had seen plenty when I was younger. No. This was worse. It was a waiting room. 

I looked on and waited for movement, a twitch, anything, but he didn't stir. I was frozen in my tracks when Whistle gave me a nudge forward and put a wing around me. Somehow... It helped knowing she was there and that I wasn't going to have to be alone through all of this. With a deep breath, I took a cautious step forward, then another and one more until I was near his bedside.

The cacophony of beeps and noises coming from the machines all but broke through the steady buzzing in my ears, constantly reminding me of where I was. Tubes ran from multi-colored fluid filled bags to his legs, pumping in a slurry of drugs to presumably help him through all this. Of all the horrors I could have imagined, after seeing mom suffer the same fate even, it was his breathing that sent fear through me. It was that same shallow, raspy breath I remember as a colt, the same one I had come to know when it was close to the end.       

He was fine the other day! How had he gotten this bad in such a short time!? How could any of this have happened!? You don't just go from relatively ok to near dying in less than a week, something had to have happened! I placed my hoof to the bed railing, taking care not to disturb him. Looking down, I took in the full breath of the situation and just how bad things had gotten. Just as I was nearing my breaking point, I felt a hoof to my shoulder lightly pulling me away. 

I turned expecting to see Whistles leg, but was greeted with the somber face of a doctor. He was old and grizzled, but wore a comforting look that couldn't help but put somepony at ease. 

"Let us step outside, shall we? Your father needs rest." He said as he guided us away from his bedside. Once in the hallway, the two of us sat and waited as he gently closed the door and took his place in front of us.

"I am doctor Narcan, I have been appointed to your fathers case." He said with a gentle tone that suggested we do the same. 

"I'm Caskade and this is Whistles." I meeked out somehow. Formalities aside, I had questions that I really needed some answers to after what I had seen. We brought my father here to get better, not kill him. "What's-"

"Please, just listen. I assure you that I will be up front and honest about your father's condition, but you need to know first that this is not going to be anything of the ordinary. I trust that you got my message a few days ago so you already know that his state is greatly deteriorated and a lot of what I am going to have to say is not going to be all sunshine and rainbows. So before we go any further, you need to ask yourself a question first." He said cutting me off before we even had the chance to travel down that dark road. He then looked to the two of us and begged an answer with a look. "Do you want to know, or, do you want to be happy?" 

I paused and thought. Message? What message? Everything in my brain was screaming for me to bark at this buck for answers to questions i now had. And what did he mean by do I want to know or be happy? What kind of stupid question was that!? Yes I wanted to know AND be happy! I'll be happy when you heal my dad you sick asshole! Thinking it better to not cause a scene, I nodded slowly as if he were stupid and waited for him to continue.

"We have tried multiple methods of purging the drugs from his system, but i'm afraid their lasting effects are not something we are used to dealing with. Many of the things your father has taken are new and we have tragically little information on them. They are... experimental. Narcotics designed for the war effort in fact. Their long term use has scant documentation of their detrimental effects on a pony's body." His words found my ears in a tinder tone that could not help but set my mind at ease. But nevertheless, there was something about them that set my teeth on edge.

"What exactly are you saying?" I asked, just a touch taken aback by his lack of knowledge.

"I'm saying that despite all of the treatments we have given your father, his body has taken a toll from the abuse. If we had a chance to get him clean sooner, he may have avoided many of the issues he is now facing with, most of look to be... permanent."  

"Permanent? What's permanent?" Whistle asked.

"I'm not quite sure how to say this... Over the years of abuse, your father's heart has enlarged from the stress and high blood pressure it has been subjected to. His liver has also suffered a great deal from trying to scrub the poisons out of his blood and as of right now... is in failure. His kidneys are already scarred but after his last round of treatment are now showing signs of failure. We can transplant a lobe of liver from a donor, but his kidneys are going to be harder to find. Even if we could find a positive donor, the chances of him surviving the surgery are slim at best." 

My jaw hung open. I knew my dad was in bad shape but... THIS!? Dying!? Despite his every word bring me bad news, I still held on to a slim thread of hope that something could be done. Anything at all! "So, where do we stand? How long until he gets to come home?" I asked hoping for some good news.

"Caskade... I'm afraid there is nothing more that we can do. We can keep him comfortable with sedatives and painkillers, but I'm afraid it will not be long."

You could hear a pin drop in the silence that surrounded me. All apart from a gasp from Whistles, I heard nothing. The color began to drain from my face as the stark reality of what was about to happen in my little world hit home and hit hard. No... This can't be happening... Not again... First mom and now... now... 

"H-He... He... He..." I started but my words failed me. No matter how I tried, I couldn't say the words. He's Dying.

"I'm so sorry Caskade. Your father called for his affairs to be set in order yesterday. I'm happy to see that you came to see him, I know that this has had to be hard for you to find out. Many ponies act out violently and in denial when they find out a loved one had been living a secret life. Many don't come back to see them."

"How long does he have?" Whistle said through her own broken words.

"I think it is best that you not worry with how much time you have left with him, but rather be thankful for the time you have."   

There was no sound. Only the rapid thudding of my own pounding heart as the doctor sat waiting for me to react to the kill blow he had just dealt to a young buck whose father was slipping away. My mind was completely blank, refusing to process any new information that found its way to my ears. Just... Silence. My racing heart became accompanied by my chest beginning to heave rapidly, growing faster with every moment. Everything was so still through my eyes, yet on the outside I began to convulse violently as my head hit the floor. 








I don't recall just how it had happened, how I had found my way to a hospital bed, I could only remember coming to from my stress induced panic attack. I woke to Whistle pacing between my father and myself anxiously as the two of us lay there. Goddesses... What had I done to the poor mare... First I make her skip school and then I give her the shock of a life time as I drop dead on the floor beside her. 

"You. Scarred me!" Whistle whispered through her teeth, though, it sounded more like a hiss. 

"What!? It's not like I had a choice in the matter. It was like I couldn't move and my body was going into melt down!" I quietly shouted back to her.

"Dont! Do! That! Again!" She said while hitting me with a pillow between her words. I take it back, i don't want a mare friend anymore, they are... too crazy.

Beside me, in his bed, dad's voice broke through our play fighting just long enough to bring me back to that somber place I had left. His wheezed and broken words came out muffled by his oxygen mask, sound as if he were far older than he actually was. I rolled from my bed and half ran, half feel to his side. For a fleeting moment I had forgotten about why I was here and what all had gone wrong since I had woken up. 

"Dad?" I said cautiously. The last thing I wanted was to wake him if it was nothing more than some sleep mumbling. 

"Ca-"

"DAD! I'm here dad!" I shouted as I ran to his side once again. 

"There's my colt... How... How you doin' buddy?" His words were weak and muffled by his face mask, but still held that tone I had come to know when I was this distraught. "W...Why are you crying? Hey... Everything is going to be ok..." he wheezed as he reached for my hoof.

Was it? Was it really? After talking with the doctor, he made it sound like he would die at any moment if the next round of purging didn't work. How was it that he could be so calm, so... ok with this? This was all his fault, he was the one that ran from dealing with losing mom, he was the one taking the drugs and he was... handling this better than me?

"No dad... No! This is not fine, it's not going to be ok! How could you do this to yourself!? How could you do this to me?"

"Cask..." He started but was quickly overcome with a hacking cough. This wasn't right, as mad as I was getting over him putting himself in this position, now was not the time for it. I could only hope that there would be plenty of time for that later. "I'm sorry... I let you down."

"Dad no..."

"Listen to me, please... I let you down, I should have been there for you after your mother died. I should have spent more time with you."

"Dad, you were there." I said, trying to hide my tears as best I could. 

"No, I wasn't. I knew you were flying off to deal with your own problems and I didn't do anything to help. I just..." His words were cut off by more retched coughing, this time being accompanied by a small splatter of blood that filled his mask with a spray of pink mist. I hated this, he was atoning for his sins as if he were already dying right here and now!

"Dad! Stop! I know what you are doing and... and..."

"Caskade... p-please? Just listen to me..." He said as he pulled himself closer to me at the bed's railing. "When I was a young buck, I met a mare who changed my life. She... she was everything to me, there was nothing I would not do for her. I-I remember thinking that so long as we had each other, there would always be happiness."

"Mom? Your talking about mom?" I asked timidly.

"Y-yes... Son, the time she gave me... gave both of us, was worth all the gold in equestria. I know that I could never match that, but please son, please..." His words fell flat to the floor as he gasped for air, leave me to only help by rubbing his back and holding his hoof. "Wi... will you stay with me?" 

I looked up to the his eyes, they were pleading for mercy at the hooves of his condition and fear. The once smooth feature of his face had withered with time, showing wrinkled that stood out like great valleys across his cheeks. Valleys that had been carved by the steady stream of tears he had been hiding all this time since she had died. This was the first time in my life that I had noticed that he had grown so old in such a short time. 

Guilt did not even come close to describing the emotion I was feeling. He had not been the only one who ran away from his problems, or in this case, his own father. Had I not done the same thing? Had I not stayed gone as long as the weather would allow? I had ignored him the same as he had me. But now, right here in this moment, I doubt he was thinking anything different than I was. If I could only go back.

"Yes, dad. I'll stay..." I said, what little of it that could be heard as I reached to hug him. 

The hours felt like days, mostly spent sitting and standing watch. Anytime his eyes would so much as crack open, either Whistle or I ran to his side so that he would not have to be alone. The both of us were keeping a brave face, but on the inside... My heart was slowly breaking. With every short moment of relief when I knew I would get to speak with my dad, it brought more pain. Each time he would come to he seemed to loose more and more of that spark that I had come to know as himself. 

We did our best to keep the mood light and as cheerful as the situation would allow, but It was my dad who seemed to carry that burden more so than us. Each time he would wake up, we would continue the conversation he had passed out during earlier. Mostly, he wanted to talk about mine and Whistle's relationship, even going so far to joke about how many of these things her and I had done and been through were similar to his own times with mom. But despite the smiles and laughter coming from our room, we were all crying on in the inside with every passing moment. 

It wasn't until the sun had sat before I saw that Whistle had fallen fast asleep on the bed beside me. Yet another sunset we had share together as the both of us looked out the window. The nurses came and went through out the evening, each time checking blood pressure and changing out IV bags. With the one exception of them being when they gave him an injection of sedatives to help "keep him comfortable".

Time seemed to crawl the higher the moon rose. I was the only one left awake in the room. Even the normal hospital sounds had grown quiet and the orderlies began putting ponies down for the night. I had sat in the same spot, praying for a miracle that I knew I was not going to get. I had been so lost in my own diluted wishes, I was nearly sent flying when my dad coughed and rolled to look at me. As I had done several times that day, I stepped to his side again and placed my hooves on the cold steal railing once more.

"C... Cas..."

"Shhh dad... it's ok, I'm here." I said quietly as to not wake Whistles up. She had already put herself out enough without me asking even more of her this late at night.

"I... I wanted to tell you that I love you." He said softly as he reached to pull his oxygen mask away.

"Dad... You need to keep this on." I said as I tried my best to place it back over his muzzle, but he pushed it away with a weak hoof.

"Son... I'm sorry you had to see this... You have been through so much... in life... already."

"No, really, it's ok... you would be here for me. You never left mom's side when she got sick, why would I be any different?" I said as I helped him pull the mask away from his face. His eyes had become glassy and seemed to look right past me as he struggled to make eye contact.

"We raised such a strong colt..." He said as he placed a hoof over my own. 

"I had good teachers." I said as I helped guide his hoof to mine for me to hold.

"Son... I watched you fade into this world. From... Just a little colt... to a... buck. I'm so... sorry that you have to watch me fade out. When the grip... leaves my hoof... I know you wont let us down."

"Dad... It's just us here." I said as I pushed his matted and soaked mane from his eyes. Even still, his eyes looked passed me to the still sleeping Whistle. 

"She's beautiful... isn't she son?" I followed his gaze to Whistle who lay on a hospital bed, bathed in moonlight in front of the picture perfect landscape in the window.

"Yeah dad... Whistles is one of a kind..." I said quietly as I began to feel his grip loosen. I couldn't look back to him, not like this. Instead I closed my eyes and bit my lip as I felt his hoof begin to slide from mine as it grew weaker.

"Yeah... Cardinal is..." He whispered as his words faded among the now steady tone of his heart monitor. I forced my eyes open and kept them on Whistle who was still sound asleep, trying to bury my pain in the beautiful picture that lay just before me. 

Almost as if to be a sign, a little red cardinal appeared on the window sill, hopping into view from behind Whistles sleeping form. I watched as it peered through the window at us, watching a world unfold in its darkest moments through tear soaked eyes. It was soon joined by another, larger and rougher looking bird that took lite right beside it. Even though they were just a couple of song birds, they acted as if they were old friends as they jumped and hopped in place. In my broken state, it wasn't until they took flight together that I knew what I had saw. 

"Tell mom I love her..." I said softly as I carefully rested his hoof back in the bed beside him. 

Nurses flooded the room and I began to trot out into the hallway where I sat as they call the time of death. Despite the tears and my longing to have more time with my dad, I was smiling. I knew that even though he had suffered the worst through his addiction, he was finally right where he wanted to be. He was with my mother, again.
> Chapter 9: Not All Clouds Rain
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Letting Go
Chapter 9: Not All Clouds Rain
Roccoroccs
7/7/2018 7:46am
(pre-edit)










Pegasi are in charge of the weather throughout all of, with the few rare exceptions, Equestria. They bring in the snow clouds for winter, buck back the clouds for spring and move in the rain when it is needed. Their habits and commands are so common place that they are rarely looked at with little more than inconvenience or mild delight. Set in stone, almost never altered and always on time... with the rare exception.

Being a Pegasus is not all work and weather, even though it may seem that way. We are the only ponies who can flight and manage the various clouds needed to keep Equestria looking beautiful. Then again, it is never without command from on high in Canterlot. Ironic how ponies with wings can represent freedom and command over the elements, yet can only do so with direct orders.

Then again... there is the rare exception. When there is a Pegasi holiday or a major event that only directly impacts the Pegasi community as a whole, they are allowed within reason to dictate the weather. It is the only time outside times of war or extreme threat that they can do so without permission or notice. Be it localized or all over equestria, they have the numbers and the power to alter the weather as needed.

Today, was one of those rare exceptions. With a brief, yet welcomed reprieve from the cold rain and clouds, the weather team on shift had cleared a small patch of clouds overhead, letting the sun bathe the winter landscape in a beautiful show of white. Sunlight seemed to radiate off the ground as if it were a mirror, bringing out the color in even the bark of trees.

I stood in a world all too beautiful for me to behold as I squinted from the bright white snow that I was standing fetlock deep in. A pretty as everything was and as perfect the day had been made by the weather team, I couldn't appreciate it in my state. I stood before a ivory inlaid and maple casket with gold gilded edges among only a hoof-full of ponies who could make it to the morning service.  Mostly ponies from my father's shop and one old friend of his from the Equestrian Guard stood silently beside me as the final words were spoke.

The scene was all too familiar to me, right down to the blood stain ivory cardinal the workers from my father's shop had seen fit to inlay into the lid. It was a spitting image of my mother's coffin that undoubtedly lay on the other side of him, waiting for my father to join her in the Everafter. We stood patiently as the final words were said with only the odd sniff to break the calm on this somber Tuesday morning.    

"Brothers and sisters... I was once told a story of two song birds. Alone they would sing across the great valley along with the others as they waited for the sun to set. Together they flew alone, sang alone and spent their nights alone as others did the same in pairs. Everypony, their songs were as gray as the world that they saw when they were alone, carrying the melody of sorrow when they sang. With all the other birds singing their songs so sweetly, the only solace they took was in each other's hollowed voices heard from across the valley. A rare sound in a world so sweet and pure.

One day one of the song birds couldn't take the loneliness any more and flew from his perch to the far side of the valley. Now, to us and the rest of the Pegasi, this seems like a simple gesture of greeting, but for them, it was the start of something truly beautiful.

The two found one another and began to sing a song of togetherness... once more. All the other birds in the valley sat quiet as they were united in harmony, singing perfectly in key... together. Their songs were no longer somber, their tones were high and carried hope with every verse. 

You see, everypony... It was because the two cardinals had been apart for so long. Forced apart long before our story began by the pains of life. The valley that separated them was not just a valley, but the valley of life... and death. Brothers and Sisters we are here today in morning, crying our tears of sorrow as the rest of the world turns. But let us not forget that just because we lost a beautiful song bird... That same song bird was reunited with his sweet Cardinal on the other side of that great valley."

No sweeter, nor truer, words have every been spoken about my parents, or anypony else for that matter. As the casket was slowly lowered to its finally resting place beside my mother's, I smiled knowing that after all this time, they were together again. There would be time for pain later, for now I just wanted to enjoy the sunshine and wonder if the two cardinals I had seen the other day were my parents reuniting for the first time, in a long time. 

I had become so lost in my own little world of wonder and thought that when an old friend of my father's tapped my shoulder, I nearly came out of my skin. I didn't even hear him! Then again, I should not be surprised that a pegasus whose soul job in the forces is to track down Zebras found a way to sneak up on me.

"Whoa now, Caskade... It's just me." Backtrack said in his dulcet tones.

"I was... I just... Hi." Great, awesome, wonderful first introduction Cask... Good job.

"I take it I took you off guard?" He asked as he extended a hoof to help me up.

"A bit... What are you doing here? Last my dad said you were being stationed near the borderlands."

"Well... Were I was and where I said I was is on a need to know basis... At any rate, once I received word that Splint had passed away, I was placed on leave to handle the affairs."

"Affairs? You mean come to the funeral." I said flatly.

"Yes and no. Yes to come to the funeral and not just for that. You father placed me as head of his estate not long after your mother passed."

"You!? He placed YOU, and not me?"

"Cask, you are seventeen... Legally speaking you have no say in manners of his estate according to the law. He placed me as your godfather in the event he passed before you came of age. Call it... Intuition. Between you and I, I think that once you lose somepony, you start thinking."

"Thinking of leaving a colt behind with nopony to run to... At least he thought of that." I said.

"Today is probably not the best time to be having this conversation, what do you say you come by the old dinner in Feathertown Square tomorrow and we can discuss this further. Say three o'clock?"

"I can't... I have to go to Whistle's parents house..." I groaned.

"Oh no... I know that look. I take it they don't like you much?"

"No... Just are ass of a father. I don't even know why he wants me there, the whole thing reeks of a trap or something. We even got into a fight the last time I was there, straight up, hoof to hoof kinda fight."

"Who won?"

"Com'on with that... Point is, I have to be there, if not because they asked me... then because I know Whistles needs me there."

"Well, then how about afterwards then? Say at your dads... I mean." Backtrack screwed up his face on the words he was choking on.

"No, no... It's my dad's house. It will always be my dad's to me."  

"Ok, Cask. Why don't I meet you there later tonight then."

"Y-yeah. I could do that." 

"Good, good. But if you don't show, I'm coming to clouds dale looking for you." He said giving me a shove. "Until then, it looks like you have your own affairs to put in order." He said looking across the grass to the employees of my father's furniture store. "Have you figured out what you are going to do yet?" 

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, with him gone, they are going to be looking to you for leadership. Somepony is going to have to fill his shoes, even if it is not you."

"Oh shit..." I had completely forgotten that with dad gone, his store and by extension his employees would be undoubtedly be left without leadership. And they were being left with a seventeen year old at the helm of a successful business. There was no question that they would be willing to work for me, but the chances of me knowing what to do at all were slim to none.

"Oh shit is right. I know you are going through a lot right now, and I can help you as much as I am able, but something tells me that you need to be the one to put this fire out before it starts."

"What do I do? I don't know how to run a business!? I don't even know the first thing about it!"

"Well, your father pretty much left everything to you in his will. I am just in charge of the transfer of the assets, what you do with them is up to you. But just one buck to another... If I were you, I would put myself in my father's shoes and do what he would do." He said as he began to hover for take off. 

"I will... thanks." I said as I trotted towards Whistles who had been cornered by my dads receptionist. Well, receptionist is probably a bad term for what she does... As far as I knew, she just took orders and mailed out the bills... I knew her because when I was little, she used to keep her tail trimmed just short enough to not leave anything to the imagination. No matter how much time I had spent around her, things always became awkward after a few seconds of talking to her. Before I could motion for Whistles to come along with me so I could make a get away, I was spotted. So much for trying to avoid this for another day...

"Oh..! Caskade... We are so sorry about your father..." She said in a teary eye'd expression as she ran to hug me. Not everypony could make it to the mid-morning service from the expansive work shop, but the few who did show i had come to know as my fathers chosen few. Hoof picked and trained by himself, the small hoof full of them held him in high regard by their visibly shaken state. Belle on the other hoof was beside herself with morning. 

"Uhf! It... It's ok... He is in a better place." The words felt hollow to me, but I wanted them to mean exactly what I was saying so badly that I forced a faking tone.

"He was a great buck to work for. I trust you know we all saw him as a friend." Dovetail said as he stepped forward to offer a hoof to the shoulder.

"He was more than a friend, he was like a father to all of us. It feels like just yesterday that he pulled me out of that bar, cleaned me up and gave me a job sweeping up after hours. Now look at me, I run the deliveries and set ups for all of Canterlot." Hauler said as he and the rest of the small group closed the gap on me. Whistles stood silently to the side and watched as the out pouring of love and fond memories bathed me.

"He helped rebuild our kitchen when our home caught fire last month! He even gave us a entire dining room set to replace the ones that burned!" Peg said as she hugged her husband close.

"I don't think there was a pony anywhere your father wouldn't help if he could. He was a great buck!"  

It was truly amazing to hear all the things that everypony had to say about my dad. But it was all made bitter by the only thoughts of him that I had. He was never home, I was never there... Yet he had all the time in the world to help everypony else, except me and himself. I wanted to be angry, I wanted to scream that he was only the buck everyone saw, but another emotion within me was fighting for control over my focus. It was pride. I was proud that I had a father as giving and caring as ponies of old. Even with my hang ups on who he was at home, I could not help but feel thankful that he was being remembered as such a great buck.

"Thank you, thank you all so much." I said, trying to gain freedom to make my escape.

"We don't know what we will do without him." Router said from the back of the pack.

"Yeah! He handled all of the sales for the area! Without him the store will not continue doing business!" Belle said as she must have sensed my want to leave and hugged my tighter.

"Wait... Who is going to run the store if..." I looked across the crowd of faces looking to me in fear that they were soon about to lose their jobs. For the first time in my life I was being faced with the one thing I feared the most... Responsibility.
This was going to suck! I just know I'm going to fuck all this up somehow... Think! What would dad do...

He would help them... But how!? As far as I know my dad would just take up the slack and do it himself if things got out of hoof, but what could I do? I didn't know the first thing about business! Ok... Deep breath... Obviously the employees came first in the business, without them there would not be a business. He said it every time he would give one of his mind numbing speeches to 'the troops' . My dad trusted everyone he worked with and had working with him, he had to. My dad trusted them... 

"Ok... Listen up everypony. I know this is not the time nor the place for this sort of thing. It's Tuesday, we just buried a buck that meant a lot to all of us and nopony is in a good place to make a decision one stuff like this. So, this is going to have to be a work it out as we go kind of thing." I said, faking my way though seeming to be both assertive and confident. I just had to hope that none of them saw that I had no clue what I was doing. "That being said... I think it would be best if we took the rest of the day off to think about what we all can and can not do. Obviously we are going to have to figure out how to run the show without... him?"

"But with out... him, how are we going know which orders to fill first! Your father was over all of the production list and gave out the assignments." Router shouted from the back.  

"Who here is head of production? And who took care of the paperwork?" I asked sternly.   

"That would be Dovetail, and I always handled Mr. Splint's paperwork." Belle said pointing a hoof to the forlorn looking buck.

"Me!? I just controlled the workshop and helped him fill orders... and come up with new designs... and... pretty much everything thing else he did." He said, falling to his haunches.

"The job is your's if you want it." I asked as I backed away from the crowd.

"I could try, but I don't see how-" He started.

"Cask, sweetie... I know you want to fill your father's shoes, but please don't take our worry for incompetence. Trust me, we can run the shop just fine and business will go on as usual. But I think it is clear that everypony is wondering something... else." Belle said pulling me to the side.

"Something like what? Exactly?"

"Honey, don't make me come right out and ask it here..."

"What, now I have to know. You can't just leave me wondering what's wrong with you guys."

"Caskade... Everypony is worried now that your father is gone, that you might..." She began, seeming physically pained to be asking me this.

"No, I'm not going to sell the business and put you all out of a job. That would just be... wrong." 

"Kade please forgive us, but we have seen many-a-young-buck inherent a business and sell it off for a profit. You have never really taken any interest in the place so we thought..." Dovetail said, flanking Belle's advancement.

"So I'm just expected to come in there and sell off the place right from under everypony my father helped, trained and respect, for a quick bit?" I said through my teeth. As much as I understood where the worry would come from, the fact that they would think so low of me nearly set me on fire.

"No! No! that's not what we meant at all!" Belle shouted.

"Then what!? Why would you even think something like that!? Just because I don't like building and selling furniture, I'm just going to toss something my dad built with his own hooves to the wolves!? How could you think something like that!?" I was now shouting... right in front of my parents grave. Belle and Dovetail looked on in horror as they saw their jobs slipping away with every word I said. It was clear now that I was the only living pony in my family left and that I would stand to take over the family business. It was also clear that being in such a position was affording me the final say in a conversation, rearguards if I was right or wrong.  

Everything I said had a reaction with the two ponies standing right in front of me, everything. They were trying to read me like a book as my anger grew, waiting for me to scream at them that they were fired or docked a days wages... It was... awful. One look back to Whistles was all it took for me to see that I was handling my first duty as their boss in the worst possible way. Almost like a cold bucket of water, I was shocked back into place like colt who had just mouthed off to his teacher. 

Is this what ponies get off on? Power to lord over others? Even with my anger at full hilt, I felt that everything I was doing was being judged by them as if I were to say the wrong thing would mean to lose their jobs. They were right to be scared, I know I would be if I where in their place. Some of them had families, little colts and fillies even. They had a lot more to loose from a job loss than I did. It was no small wonder that all of these thoughts found a way to clear my brain and steady my anger. 

"Look... It has been a rough week... I found out my dad was a drug addict, dying and here we are at his grave, to put it bluntly. On top of that, I have been having my own problems that just seem to be getting worse by the moment. I'm stress, depressed, scared, tired and hungry. I didn't mean to go off on you like that, so I'm sorry." I said as I turned to Whistles who was nodding approvingly. "You all look to have had just as bad of day as me..." I said as I paused to look across all of them. I had to fix this, fast! What would dad do?

"We have... been stressed." Belle said, looking at me from beneath her bangs.

"Tell me about it... Who here has a family waiting for them at home? Kids? Husbands, wives?" I asked in my fake confidence that said I knew what I was doing.

"We all do in some way or another." Dovetail said from behind everypony. What the hell, he ran and hid!?

"How about this... Everypony go home. Be with them. Be grateful for them and just... spend time with them. Tell the ponies at the shop do the same."

"But... What about the Canterlot order?" They all seemed to say in their own little worried ways.

"There is more to life than work. My dad seemed to have forgotten that fact..." That did it, nopony was worried anymore, but I bet they were the saddest workers who had ever been given the day off. "Now, go home. We will do it as a day off with pay."

"You mean PTO?" Belle asked.

"Whatever... Open the place up tomorrow at noon or something. Just go and enjoy your families, I think we could all use a little of that right now. And no, to answer THAT question. I have no plans to sell the business, now or ever. I might not be there all the time, or in fact at all, but the show will go on. So stop worrying and get out of here." I said as I trotted off. 

Seemingly happy faces fell across the group as they took a breath of relief and dispersed, hopefully heading home. I trotted along side Whistles towards town, not making a sound and all the while holding a face of stern confidence in a job well done. Whistles on the other hoof had become uncommonly chatty, talking about everything that had gone on today and by extension, the conversation we had just had with the workers.

"That was really good Cask, I was worried at first, you looked like you were loosing your cool, but you pulled it together in the end! You did a... a... good good job!" She said smiling. Just a little bit further till they can't see us... just over this hill... "And the way you turned everything around at the end, giving them the day off! Good, good, good!" My hoof was inches away from me being out of sight from everypony in the cemetery, just a little further... "Telling them to go and be with their families, that was just so... so... SWEET OF YOU!" Finally!

I fell to the ground and curled into a tiny ball and began rocking back and forth, twitching uncontrollably. I almost fired everypony because I was mad! I had a taste of power and it nearly went right to my head and ruined a bunch of lives! All over me getting offended!? How can other ponies deal with this kind of stress!?

"I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing!" I said over and over to myself.

"CASK! CASK WHAT'S WRONG!?" Whistle said over and over, but my brain was now in full on panic mode. 

"One-second-I'm-firing-ponies-the-next-I'm-coddling-them! I-I-I-I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing!"

"Caskade! Snap out of it!" A firm hoof found my cheek and broke my train of derailment, snapping me back to reality. It also had the added effect of sending my noodle of a body rolling down the hillside to the busy street below. Sky, ground, sky, ground, sky, ditch. From my new and spinning view of the world above me, I found time to reflect upon the day's events. My father, Splint, was gone. Sure I had never actually had a fulfilling relationship with my dad since mom died, but nevertheless, the emotions were still there. Almost like a candle in a dark room, vaguely lighting everything around me, but never enough for me to find anything.

What was I to do now!? I don't know anything about living on my own. Well... I did feed myself already, but what about bills? Doctors appointments? Running a business? I don't even know HOW to get a job, let alone give jobs to other ponies! What if I mess up a order or what if we don't make enough money to keep it running? I can't fire somepony over something like that, I can't even get past trivial emotions to make a sound decisions! And what about Whistles, I can barely take car of myself as it is! Even without all this new and 'exciting' crap coming my way, how will I take care of her!?

Neither of us wanted to admit it, but Whistles had a hard enough time getting by even with me by her side.Now with everything going on, I would not be surprised if our time together became strained if not stretched to the breaking point. She can't manage on her own, not like I could and that is in no way a complement to myself. Not to mention that even with her parents seeming to come around to my presents in her life, it was still going to be a long time before I gained any kind of acceptance from... well lets face it. Her father is a seething asshole who is hell bent on ruining everything the two of us have come to know and love about each other. 

"Cask! Cask! Oh, please don't cry! It's... It's all going to be just fine! I pr-promise! I will help!" Whistles said as she stroked my mane in that all-to-familiar way I had come to love. 

"I'm Not Crying!" I screamed through a broken and clearly crying voice. Celestia... Why do I cry so much these days?

"Oh... You are too." She said as she helped me to my hooves. "Come now, I'll take you home and help you get cleaned up. We have to be at mom and dad's by six."

"Bu... But."

"No buts. we were invited and... and... darn it! We need to go." Whistle said as she took a very uncommon firm stance. 

It was no mystery as to why I did not want to go there to anypony. I hated her father and as sweet as she could be, I really held resentment towards her mother for standing by and not doing anything. So to say that spending any amount of time near either of them was akin to torture, was a vast understatement. But where was all of this confidence coming from whistles all of a sudden. The meek mare whose charmingly calm and shy demeanor that I had come to know and love so very much had seemed to harden to stone in the blink of an eye. It was as if she was not so much faking it, but more so forcing herself to be more assertive and strong in my mental absence.

"Whistles, why are you acting that way?"

"What way?" She replied, shying away as if her action had betrayed her.

"I know that I am not... ME right now, but there is no need to try and pull up the slack because of it."

"I... Just... OH! Cask, I know you need this right now. I'm sorry."

"Hey... Don't be like that. Yes, right now it would be great to go on auto pilot and just... forget everything for a few weeks. Just... Lock the door and be my oh-so mopey self for a while and let somepony else figure all this out. But I don't want that somepony to be you."

"You... You don't want me to help... you?" She said in a rusty tone that usually preludes a bout of tears that I am powerless to stop.

"No, not that way. I need you to just be... you. That's what is going to help me more than anything. I NEED you. There is no need to fake it, you are perfect the way you are."

With that I was greeted with a small smile and a nuzzle to the cheek. Cheesy I know, but for all or not, it was true. The last thing I needed right now, no matter how much I wanted it, was for somepony else to stand in the fire for me. Especially not her. The two of us found our way to my da... MY home and spent the next few hours taking in everything that day had thrown at us. So much had happened in such a short time that I had started having nightmares and panic attacks when I would sleep. This had made my life a never ending roller-coaster of brief moments of excitement followed by long periods of pain and anguish. Most nights I would wake up and bolt upright in bed, frantically searching the sheet for Whistles, only to remember that she had returned home. This made for more than a fair share of sleepless nights.

In fact, the only time I was able to get any sleep at all was when she was near me. I kept telling myself that it was the only time that I knew that she was truly safe or the only time that I knew that I could protect her. But as time has worn on... I'm not so sure that she is not the one protecting me or keeping me safe. I had managed for so long on my own, if not by circumstance, then by choice. But now I was being given a whole new life, one that was truly on my own. I was sure that I could manage it somehow but that still did not change the fact that it was going to be scary. For some reason, even with her needs, her being by my side somehow calmed my nerves. I guess it was the knowing that I was not 'truly' alone.

"Kade? Sweetie?" 

I cracked my eyes expecting to see my mother, but was instead met with just as welcome of a sight. I had dosed off on the couch, my head resting in her lap while she played with my mane. I can not even begin to describe how relaxing it was. I felt like I had slept for days in the span of only a few hours. Then again, when you haven't slept well in nearly a week, any good rest feels like a vacation.

"Huh? Wha?" I grumbled.

"It's time to go." 

"I-don-wana." I said as I curled up to my very fluffy pillow of belly fluff.

"You know we have to. I promise that everything will be ok." Whistle said as she nudged me upright.

"Ugh... fine." I said in protest as I lifted myself from the couch and began readying myself for the worlds most awkward dinner date. 












"Caskade, I am so sorry about your father dear. I wish I could say that I knew what you are going through." Whisper said as she cleared the table. Of course no dinner party would be complete without a utterly depressing story about losing somepony. 

"Well aint that just a tough run of luck... Sorry to hear it." Rain said with a suck of his teeth. Even though he had been mostly civil through out the evening, more than a few of his remarks were less than sugar coated. As Whistles had told me more than once, 'he knows exactly where the line is and loves to scream across it'.

"Yeah..." I meeked out.

"Rain! The poor boy lost his father! I would say that requires far more than 'shame'." 

"What do you want me to say!? I hate this lovey emotional crap!" Rain shouted back, barely containing his anger.

"I want you to show that you give a damn! Not this vile your spiting."

"Oh please... Caskade is nearly a grown buck! When I was his age I was working sixty five hours a week, or did you forget?"

"How could I with you always bring it up..." She seemed mumble under her breath

"I worked my hooves to the bone! Even when my dad died I still went to work. That's what we did back then, we worked through our problems, not sit and cry about them forever! Caskade here is a strong buck, he will get over it. But my generation was built hard, your 'successful' father knew that." He said as he took another drink from his beer. I honestly don't know how to feel about that statement. I was both offended and taken aback by it. He had somehow managed to insult me without knowing and complement me at the same time. I guess my perplexed look did not go unnoticed by the group of them, because the two very angry mares were staring daggers into Rain with lethal intent.

"Rain! That's enough!"

"Oh com'on hun... I'm just being honest, or is that not what you want?"

"You know damn well what you are doing." Whisper hissed.

"If the boy can't handle the truth, then how is he going to handle taking care out OUR daughter?"

"Cask takes good care of me..." Whistles nearly whispered. The three of us stood shocked, not only by the fact that the normally silent mare had spoke, but done so in defiance of the one pony she could not bare to stand up to.

"Oh he does, does he? Well, then its no surprise you spend so much time with him. You would be the type that would need somepony to take care of you after all." Rain spat out. Well that didn't take long. I know that the stages of grief go by fast, but I had not expected to jump straight to anger so quickly. Before Whisper could so much as inhale to shout his name, I had collected my thoughts and aimed them right where I knew they would hurt the most.

"From what I have seen, she seems to be handling herself just fine now... But even if she needed me there, I would be right by her side. I'm sure we can afford to take care of anything else that comes our way. After all, MY father was... Successful?" I narrowed my eyes into the best spoiled rich kid glare that I could now afford and gave the most satisfied smirk I could.

"Now what is that supposed to mean... exactly?" He asked, leaning across the table.

"It means that Whistles will be in good hooves... with me." I replied, leaning forward. Rain began tapping his bottle of beer on the table, slowly at first but soon so hard that the amber foam began to run down his clinched hoof. 

Call it bloated ego, or you could call it having enough of Rain's crap, either way I am more than tolerant to put up with both and keep my mouth shut. But when you start mindlessly aiming your hate at Whistles, now you have found the one sure fire way to piss me off. 

"Well if you two are so intent on staying together and if you feel like you can take care of her... then do it." He said as he fell back in his chair. 

"Maybe I will." 

Rain locked eyes with me and just like that, everything came crashing home. I was in this bucks house, I was eating his food, I was sitting at his table and I was telling him that he is a bad father and that Whistles was better off with me. If I pushed my luck, this dinner could turn into a blood bath before I had the chance to hightail it out of here.

"Well... this calls for a drink." Rain said as he stood and reached for his jacket. 

"Oh you can not be serious!" Whisper shouted after him.

"The boy says he can handle her now dear! No need for me to be here." And with that, he slammed the door, leaving me to think about just how bad I had screwed the pooch this time. What was with that guy!? It's like he knew exactly what to say or do to bait me into being the worst pony on earth. Things I never could even dream of doing or saying came out of me as if I were chatting with my worst enemy. Worst of all, I liked it. I looked back to Whistles for reassurance, but all I saw was her staring at her half eaten plate of fried apples, looking just as lost as I had found her.

"I-I should go..." I said as I stood. 

"No dear... you need to stay for at least another hour. Might be best if you gave him enough time to calm down before you left." Whisper said as she pushed me back into the chair. 

"I'm so... so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"I do." Whistles said quietly.

"Hunny, why don't you go to your room for a little while. I think it would be best if Caskade and I have a little chat together."

"But I don't want to mom."

"Please. We need some time alone. I'll be in there shortly. Cask, join me?" She asked as she opened the door to the back porch. 

Whistles did as she was asked and I followed her mother onto the dimly lit back porch. Behind me I heard the door shut softly, followed by hoofsteps creeping their way closer. I didn't show it at the time, but I was ready to jump out of my skin, I was in the perfect spot to be attacked from behind. I had willingly trotted right into a trap nonetheless! So when I felt a hoof to my back, It was no surprise that I jumped... I might have even pee'd a little. I'm not proud of it, but it happened.

"Cask! Great ruffled feathers son!" Whisper said laughing.

"Sorry... I'm still a little nervous after all that..."

"Just calm down... I know Rain can be... Well, Rain. But you did fine."

"Why would you say that?" I said, again taken aback.

"Say what?"

"You act like I am doing everything right all the time, but the moment he is around it's like you are barely holding back. It's like you just... let it happen."

"Hunny... There is a lot that you need to learn about life. Rain and I... We come from a different time. Bucks and mares acted very differently back when we were younger."

"What is there to learn!? He is an asshole! He treats you and Whistles like trash that he has to deal with everyday and you just... you just take it like it's nothing! Whistle deserves better, YOU deserve better! Why are you even with him?"

"Because I don't want to be alone."

"Alone is better than this!" I was now pounding my hooves into the railing. How could she just sit by while Rain was ruining their lives.

"Not always, Cask... It's no secret that Whistle is... Special. It's not just because of rain, it's because she is everything like her mother."

"You? You were like her when you were younger?"

"A few million years ago... when I was just a kid myself. Yes."

"But... But..."

"I know, nothing like it now. I have to hear that with every old face I see. 'you're so much better now!' and 'wow you really changed!'. Seems like every pony has something to say about my new found... chattiness. My point is, it wasn't until I met Rain that I came out of my shell."

"You say that, because he helped you come out of your shell, that gives him the right to treat you like this!?"

"No hun... Whistles and I are very much so alike because when we hang our star on somepony, it's like we are cursed to be with them forever. My brain screams at me everyday to just take her and just... run. Start a new life some where."

"Well, listen to it damn it!"

"Oh please... I'm much too old for that. Besides, the heart wants, what the heart wants. Rain always had my heart, I fell for him hard... I just wish he had done the same."

"But you coul-" I stated but was cut short.

"My point to all this is that I see how she looks at you, she has those same star struck eyes I had, the same ones your mother had. The difference between her and me is that you look at her like your father looked at your mother."

"What are you on about?"

"I mean you two are hopeless." She said with a laugh. "She is lucky to have somepony like you in her life. As much as I don't want to prove Rain right, she NEEDS somepony like you."

"Yeah... I was thinking about that. I'm not so sure that I'm not the one that needs her."

"Don't worry, I know you are hurting right now, but the pain will fade. If you ever think for even a moment that it wont, just look to Whistles... She will show you that things are not that bad and that you are not alone."

"So now what do we do? I pissed Rain off. You seem cool, but I think all I did was make things worse."

"I think you, me and Whistles needs to have a talk about getting her out of here."

I nearly fainted. Get her out of here!? Like... come and stay with me!? Forever!? My insides began the most insane battle with itself with her very mentioning of the idea. Sure she had stayed with me off and on for a while, but knowing that she didn't have to come back to this hellhole ever again if she did not want too. No more Rain, no more crying herself to sleep and best of all... no more time apart. I was jumping for joy. But then there was the part of me I hated, the part that screamed that this was a terrible idea. Even through my elation I knew that this would put me right in the crosshairs of Rain and his temper. What if he just took Whistles away from me and her mother, foalnapped her even? How was I going to support the two of us? Sure I had money now, but what if it dried up tomorrow?

All of my thoughts collided in a internal struggle that sent shivers down my spine. What if I fucked this all up some how! How would we make it through if times got hard... NO, Cask... You got this. Between the two of us we would make it work, the two of us could do anything together if we tried hard enough. I love this mare and there is nothing I would not do for her if she needed it. I can do this...  I can do this.

"What about rain?" I asked, trying my hardest to hide my panic attack.

"What about him? He seemed to give you the best blessing you are going to get. Honestly... I think with you two happy and away from here... he might change. Maybe for the better." Was I hearing that right? Was she really insinuating that if I took her daughter and left, she and rain might have a better relationship!? How cruel, how conceded, how... how could you put your own life ahead of your daughter's?

"How... how could you say something like that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how could you put your hopes above your own daughter's!? The fact that you want her to come and live with me just for your own selfish wants! After everything that has happened, after everything he has done to you, after everything he as done to her! You still want to give him a chance!?" Whisper looked at me as if I had turned into a ghost. I knew that just by opposing her view of things and how she wanted them to go, I was basically pissing on her beliefs. Even still, I admired her for the love she had to give, even if it was wasted. She was right, it was a curse.

"Cask... I want him to change. I want MY rain back! I want him to be the buck I fell in love with all those years ago. He was not always like this you know. There was a time, a long time ago, where he would do anything for to see me smile, where if times got tough, he would shoulder the weight for the two of us."

"What changed? If he was really as nice as you say, what happened to turn him into the pony he is today>"

"Honestly? Your father. He had everything Rain wanted, truly wanted. He had a carrier, he had a house before us and most of all... he had Cardinal. Sometimes, when things get really bad between us, I wonder if he was just with me so he could be close to her. Then when Whistles came into the picture, maybe that was the final blow that solidified that he was stuck with me. But I don't know how much of that I want to buy into. He was always just so... so sweet to me." 

Whisper was still holding on firmly to her past, a past that was beginning to more and more feel like a sham of all things. As much as it infuriated me, as mad as I was even, I had no where at aim my anger other than myself. I looked into her eyes and saw that all to familiar shimmer of hope that she was holding onto, it was the same her daughter showed. After the last few months of being with Whistles I had come to know her well and I knew that everything her mother was saying was true.

They were cursed. Whisper fell head over hooves for Rain and his long since gone charm. She hung her star on him as she had said, but I guess she had never thought it would have been a falling star. Rain was a mystery to me, how having a filly come into his life could be the worst thing possible for him baffled me. Even at my age, I loved babies and had had my own dreams of starting a family at some point. But at least now I understood what she was driving at and why she was choosing to do what she was. This was her last chance to make things right with Rain, to help him come around again and maybe, just maybe bring back that chance to have a happy family.	

Where it was true that nothing he had done could not truly be undone with time, I was skeptical that he could have the drive and want to change to that degree. After all, the root of the cause seemed to be jealousy, but that had long since gave way to spite, greed and resentment. He had spite that stemmed form a missed chance to be with Cardinal. He had greed for everything that her and my father had together and he resented his own family for taking it from him. How could a pony come back from a place like that and still be whole. Sure tonight was a glimmer of hope that he was trying, he was even the one who set this whole thing up. But no matter how I reasoned it, I still could not bare to give him the slightest amount of rope without fear of being hung from it. 

"So the two of us... we just, leave?" I asked, thinking it better to leave well enough alone, for now. Whisper regarded me for a moment, all the while holding a flinching yet stern expression on her face. It was as if she was battling with the idea of letting her daughter go or having her stay here where she knew she would not be safe.

"If I had it to do over again, or if I was Whistles right now... I know what I would want... no, what I would be praying for. She... She needs to leave... hun. But you have to swear to me that you will do ANYTHING to take care of her! Even if it means working in a sewer the rest of your life." Whisper's broken voice told me everything I needed to know. This was not something she was taking lightly at all, not that any parent would. She wanted for her daughter that she could not have for herself. I love Whistles and she knows it, Whistles loves me, and she can see it. Everything comes down to the details now, things that could be taken care of as we went.

"I swear. No matter what it takes." I said as I gave her a hug in reassurance. The embrace was brief as she pushed me away to hide her crying face from me. I don't know why, it's nearly pitch black out here! As far as I know I just confessed my love in front of the whole school.

"Ok... Ok... Whistles?  " She said as she turned back to the door way where Whistles was hiding. What the hell! I heard her say "go to your room, didn't I?

"What in the f-"

"Don't be mad hun, she's been a snoop since the day she was born. Not to mention I was alone with her coltfriend, she wasn't going to let you get hurt after all." 

Whistles wore a pained expression as if she had just been caught doing something wrong. I wasn't happy about the fact that I had spilled my guts worth of emotions to her mother, that was hard enough, but to do it for a second time with Whistles watching on in silence... Well that was just humiliating, even if I did mean it. What if I had said something wrong, or what if I had given the impression that didn't want her to move in with me? The results could have been disastrous to our relationship. Sure I wanted it to go the way of her moving it, but slowly, naturally... But this felt like she was being forced out of her parents lives and into mine. We would make it work sure, but this would mean that it would not be by our terms.

"Well, what do you say? Wana come live with me? For like, ever?" I said in the coolest voice I could manage without passing out from panic. too long passed before I got my answer, and did I ever get one. She nearly sent me over the railing when she flew into me for a hug. Among a fury of 'yeses' and 'oh my goodnesses', I could make out that she was crying for joy from the good news. Not only did I want her in my life, but I relished the idea. I guess for somepony in her position, that meant the world to her.

"Oof! I'll take that as a yes."

"You two really do make a cute couple... As much as it pains me to say it, Caskade really should be going dear. You have a lot to take care of if you are going to be moving out. Lots of packing and I think it would be best if you and I went to the bank in the morning to start you a savings account."

"But... I want to go with cask. Tonight..."

"I know dear, but you have the rest of your lives to be together. We don't." Whistles looked to me for guidance, as if I was going to keep her from her mother after something like this. With a nod, her hooves slipped from my side and she and her mother stepped back from the railing. 

"I'll be back tomorrow morning to help. Besides, I have to go and meet with Back Track to sign papers tonight. It's going to super boring." I said as I took my perch on the railing to take off. 

"Wait!" Whistle shouted as she ran to my side. She grabbed my neck with a hoof and pulled me in close, kissing me softly on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too. see you soon." 

And with that I took flight through the clouds and towards the ground. 








It still ceases to amaze me how it can be nearly pitch black in Cloudsdale and there still be amber colored sky below and above ponyville. Maybe if I had paid closer attention in Equestrian Science I would know the answer. No matter the cause for it, It was the perfect sunset for the flight home. Calm and tranquil, peaceful even as I glided above the smaller puffs of clouds that adorned the winters sky around me. Pained in hues of amber, purple and red as Celestia's sun sank lower to make way for Luna's moon. It was... breath taking. I guess I had never been happy enough to truly enjoy it, until today. I guess this is why they call it "A lover's Sky".

Below me, I spotted a familiar looking mound of fluff making its slow way around the outer rim of Cloudsdale's ceiling. It was the very same cloud where Whistles and I had first met. Calling it my new found enthusiasm for romance or call it my hang ups on the past, but I just had to stop by it... just one more time before I went home. Sure I had my very first business meeting to be at, but what's the point of owning a business if you can't be late for it from time to time. After all, I was the boss of it, I make the rules now and my rules say that I get to do what I want.

I hovered over the inviting white cotton candy like surface before finally letting my hooves bare weight. It was this same cloud that had changed my life for the better, it was here where I met the mare who would make me question the way I was going in life. As I sat at the edge of the cloud, it was if I could feel her here with me. I almost felt like if I were to turn around, I would see her big baby blue eyes staring right back at me. I let out a laugh at the thought of have she scared me the first time I saw her. She was so white that I swore that the cloud had grown eyes. I can't believe I ever shied away from her back then, then again, I didn't know her the way I do now. 


I swear I can feel her near me, hear her flying somewhere close by even. A cold chill fell down my back... followed by a hoof, then another, and another. The force took me by surprise, hitting me hard and dimming my vision. Pain erupted from my ribs and back as whatever had smashed into me bore down with more and more weight. It was like Cloudsdale itself had fallen atop me. My face buried into the clouds as I felt hooves pounding into the back of my head, beating me to the point of nearly blacking out. Just as quickly as it began, it stopped. I then felt more hooves hauling my limp and bleeding body up, setting me upright. I cracked a weary eye... Rain.

"Successful!" He shouted as he slammed a hoof into my face. "you think you're better than me!?" Another blow found my right eye. "You're not better than your piece of shit father!" He shouted as he turned and landed a buck right to my forehead. "Here!" He shouted as something hit me in the chest. It was soft, fluffy even and even through the sent of ozone and blood, I could pick out a faint fragrance I knew all too well. I glanced down and saw a dark blue mound of fabric, now stained with blood. "You forgot your damn hoodie!"

"Ok Rain. You made your point." A voice shouted from behind me. Rain was here, waiting for me... and this time he was not alone. My eye was quickly swelling shut, but try as I might, my head swam and every move I made was met with more resistance.

"Shut up! This little shit is going to get what's coming to him!" He shouted "You just think you can walk into my life after everything that has happened!? You think you can just take my daughter and-and-and just fuck her without me caring!?"

I pushed myself to speak, but the only thing that came out was a mumble.

"What was that smartass!?" He shouted inches from my face.

"Yo...you're... no."

"Come again, I can't hear you. What's wrong, ain't got nothing smartass to say with a mouth full of blood!?"

"You're... no... Father. PRICK!" I might be able to fight back, but I hated him so much that I could not hold back, even if it meant more pain.

"YOU!" Bam! "Little!" Bam! "Shit!" Hoof after hoof landed blows to my chest, face and gut. the force was so intense that I thought I was going to pass out. I had to hang on. I couldn't let him get the best of me. So, with tears streaming down my face, I rolled my tongue around my teeth and spat all the blood I could on his face. Rain, not to be detoured, rounded on me and landed a buck right to my nose, breaking it with a sicken crunch. Wow, look at all those stars. 

I watched my vision fade in and out as I started to hallucinate. I was hurt... so... so bad. My brain began to play tricks on me. I felt like my body had gone completely limp and fell to the clouds. Where before I could tell there were two ponies with me on the cloud, now I could swear I saw four or five even. It must have been my want to see him get what was coming to him because my mind was painting a picture of him being beaten half to death. I watched as a steady stream of blood began to flow into my vision, staining the once pure white of the cloud.

I don't know what happened next, I can only remember bits and pieces. First came the darkness that I had thought was death, then... little moments of gliding through the skies of Ponyville. Darkness, then... a darkened hallway. Darkness.... Then glimpses of shadows playing on my eyelids. I wanted to wake up, I wanted to find Whistles and just... get the hell out of here. But my body... it hurt so much. Every time I would get the urge to move, I was sent back to that dark world where there way nothing that could wake me. 

The only respite I had to look forward to was the reassurance that if I slept, Whistles would be there. Oh Goddesses... Whistles, what have I done wrong? Where are you... I-... I need you. 

Darkness...
> Chapter 10: Who Saved Who?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Letting Go
Chapter 10: Who Saved Who?
7/9/2018
Rocco Roccs
{pre-edit}





Hollowed echos of the world around me finally set my mind to stir after Goddesses only knows how long. How long had I been out for? Hours? Days? Weeks? The memories that I had were muddied and broken, but the pain... The pain was all too real. It was the only thing my brain was hanging onto as if it were the only thing is had left. Despite it all my thoughts, as they always did, fell to Whistles. Was she ok? I know she was not with me, but still. I know Rain attacked me, I know that he hurt me bad... But did that mean he went back for her? Who found me up there bleeding out? Oh... Please don't let it be her! If she did then I was doomed to never have a moment alone again. No It couldn't have been her... There is no way that Rain would have stood for it. There was somepony else there, a buck... I think. Ow... All this thinking is giving me a headache again... 

I had yet to even crack my eyes before my ears picked up on the familiar sound of shouting, screaming even. Through my weakened state, everything sounded muffled as if I were listening through a think blanket... Oh... I reached my hooves slowly to my face as my hooves tried to remember where it was. Under my pads I could feel soft, spongy cotton wrapped in layers across nearly all of my head. Oh Luna... how bad had he hurt me!? Calming myself, I did my best to easy my body upright in bed too look at what I hoped was my mirror in my room. Who was I kidding... There was no way that I was not in a hospital with this amount of bandages. 

But when I opened my eyes... Celestia... was that really me under all of... THIS!? Only one of my eyes were uncovered, but it was more than enough to see the devastation that Rain had inflicted. Blood seeped through the white cotton on my face, chest and neck forming dark spots that showed exactly where the damage had been done. With shock flooding my system, I began to try and steady myself as I checked to make sure all of my body parts were accounted for. Legs... Check... Upper legs... Check. Nothing broken there. I took a deep breath and pressed my hooves between my legs.

"OWWWWW! OW ow ow ow oweeee!" I cried out in pain. "Ch... Check!" Well, all of THAT part of me was there... sore, but there. I thought it better not to keep checking after my... inexperienced exam. Knowing that I was all here still was a relief, but I would have to wait to see just how bad the damage truly was once the bandages came off. I instead turned my attention to the shouting that was coming from down the hall and downstairs. It was muffled, but I could still tell that it was clearly a buck and a mare having it out at full volume. Even through the bandages, the mare's high squeaky voice pierced my ear drums like a needle. 

"Uf... I'd really hate to be that buck..." I groaned as I tried my best to bare weight on my hooves. Thankfully, My legs all seemed to be more than ok, sore as all get out, but nothing broken. My groin on the other hoof... Had rain straight up stomped it to death!? Every step was agony as I crept towards the doorway. Oh how I wish my wings were not bandaged right now... Wait... I'm in my house. I'm doctored up, but in my house of all places? Who found me? Oh crap, it had to of been Whistles. Now I'm screwed... Well, not screwed. Judging by the amount of pain I was in down there, I would be lucky to screw ever again. Fucked is a better word... no, damnit! I'm just in trouble. bad, bad, bad trouble. 

I peeked my head around the corner to the downstairs area where I could see the ass end of a huge looking dark gray buck shouting out of my door way. Great, now the neighbors will think I'm nuts, did he have... Back Track. HE Found me! No wonder I'm still alive, and bandaged so well! It should have been no short wonder to me that he had found me, he even said he was going to come looking for me if I was late! No wonder I'm not dead right now! Rain was one tough bastard, but not Equestrian 2nd squadron, force recon tracker tough! Oh shit! Did he kill Rain!? Wouldn't that be a lucky break!

"You've done enough! If you think for one second that I would let you see him after luring him into a trap like that, you must be outside your damn mind girl!" Back Track shouted in anger.

"PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME! I had nothing to do with what happened! I always follow him out of the house like that! I swear! I didn't know dad was waiting for him!" Whistles squeaked.

"BULLSHIT! That was as orchestrated of an attack if I had ever saw one! You were shadowing him! Yuu even gave a signal!"

"I WAS SCREAMING 'LOOKOUT!', if I was 'shadowing' him, why would I give myself away!?" Whistles pleaded.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WERE DOING! THIS WHOLE THING STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN! Your father will stand trial for assault on a minor and attempted murder. Trust me when I say that if those other guards had not been there, there would be no trial!"

"I don't care about him! How can I make you understand that I hate my father! He's mean to me and my mom, he beats us! I would NEVER help him hurt Caskade! Never, EVER, EVER!" Even with her convincing tone, I could tell that she was crying. I reasoned that she must have never been on trial like this with somepony like Back Track. His whole job was finding ponies and getting out whatever information he could before... Whatever he did with them after. 

"If you don't care about your father so much, why did you leave Cask out there alone? Why did you shadow him instead of come back home with him?"

"I  told you, I stayed behind to pack my things! He was the one trying to save me from that place! I never want to go back there, I never want to see either of my parents again after this! Why would I try to hurt him if he was the one helping me!?" Whistles was now balling, her words almost undefinable among her sobs and sniffs. I wanted to run to her, hug her and tell her it was all going to be alright... I actually had been trying to creep down the stairs the entire time, but the pain in my back was so intense I had yet to make it down the first stair.

"It's still sketchy... I don't think you should be here right now. Caskade... He's not going to be up for visitors for a while." 
Back Track's words found the first silence they had in the conversation since I had woken up. It was quiet, but the sound of a breaking heart was clear as day. 

"No... no-no-no-no! How... How bad..." Whistles stammered as she began prying.

"I'm not at liberty..." He began.

"PLEASE! I HAVE TO SEE HIM! HE NEEDS ME! I NEED TO SEE HIM!" Whistles begged.

If I could just get my damn back to stop hurting I could make it down the stairs! I reached as best I could but was sent backwards to the floor in agony. I yelped when my full wait found its way to my right wing. What had happened to my wings!? They ached with stabbing pain right at the joints like they had been... No... No he couldn't have... 

Timidly, I began working the muscles to them, but I was horrified to not feel my right wing move all. Rain must have wanted to settle the score with me, break my wings, take away the one thing that was truly mine. He tried to take flying away from me. Horror fell over me, but I would not have the time to bathe in it. My loud yelp had alerted the two arguing Pegasi down stairs and their hoofbeats were growing louder as they closed the distance. 

"Caskade! You ok!?" Back Track shouted. 

"N... NO!" I shouted through the tears. Damnit! I don't want her to see me like this, not right now! No wonder he had been trying to ward her off, he knew this was going to be a painful recovery. No doubt he was trying to spare me the hardship of being worried what she would think of me now... Would she run? Would she scream at me? Would she want nothing to do with me? Then there is the damage to my wings... Was it permanent? Would I ever fly again? I could feel pain in both of them, that was good... right?

"Oh-no-no-no-no! CASK!" Whistle screamed as she dove past Back Track and fell to my side. 

"Heeeeeeey you..." Go Cask. Keep it simple.

"Cask! You shouldn't be out of bed! I wasn't even sure you were going to wake up at all." He said as he nealed down to try and help me up.

"I-I can do it..." I groaned as I forced myself up... Then over onto the hallway's wall... and promptly slid back down to the floor. Whistles whimpered by my side as she struggled to help me back up. Even after all she had been through, she was still putting me first and trying to help me. Maybe it was guilt, but the pained expression she was wearing wasn't of worry, it was fear. Was she afraid that her father had succeeded in pushing me away, did she honestly think that THAT would be enough to stop me from wanting to be with her?

"Sweetie... No you can't. Please let us help you." Whistles begged. Ah, guilt, there it is.

"No since in acting tough now kid, you did that by not dying." Back Track said as he trotted along side me and helped guide me back into my bed. 

"How bad is it?"

"You mean you don't know already? I thought you would have figured it out all on your own after that." He said as he opened a drawer to my nightstand and retrieved a bottle of pills. Ah, So I was at the hospital after all. "Go ahead, take your best guess as to what happened. Make me proud." He said almost sadistically.	

"Well, I was flying home. I saw a cloud and decided to take a rest for a moment, then I god my ass kicked on... Feels like I got my junk ripped off and I can't move one of my wings. I can tell you must have showed up, I heard as much. I can see that at some point I saw a doctor judging by the bottle of pills. Did I do good?" I said with a chipped tooth smile.

"Close... Let me fill you in on the last week or so..."

"WEEK!?" I shouted. 

"Cask, you have been gone for over a week... I thought you left me, got scared or... or..." My hoof found her's before she could continue, silencing her before she could dig her pit of self wallow deeper.

"Yes, the last week. I guess after you two love birds had dinner, that Rain prick ambushed you with two of his friends. Beat you up pretty good. I showed up about the time that were trying to rip your wings off." Whistles and I shared a groan of horror that a Pegasus could even begin to do that to another... Life without wings is... no life at all. "Once that whole ordeal was under control and they were being hauled off, I flew you to the hospital."

"But... why am I at home and not there?"

"I'm getting to that! Sorry... You were there for a while, five days no less. They placed you in a medically induced coma of sorts while they did the surgeries."

"SURGERIES!?"

"Yes surgeries... You gonna keep interrupting me!? You may be tough, but you are dense!"

"Sorry, sorry..."

"Ok, yes, surgeries. Your right wing was completely dislocated and needed reconstructive surgery on the joint. Your left is just sprained. Two broken ribs, one that you had to be opened up to fix, various bruising and contusions of the... um... groin and two black eyes. Congrats, you're not dead. Take this pill." Back Track said with zero enthusiasm as he shook the one and only pill out of its bottle.  

"My wing... Will I..."

"Fly again? Yes, but not for a while. They immobilized one of them while it heals. And before you ask, your crotch is fine, just bruised, so no playing with your tally-wacker until it stops being purple." Whistles snorted at his deadpan humor. I on the other hoof found the joke terrible. I had plans... BIG plans that involved those things. Now they were all mushed up and broken. Total suck. "This is a new drug that has spilled over to the civilian market through our testing program. Some regenerative growth something or other. I know for the last few years they have been testing this out at the Ministry Of Peace with good results. It should help you heal up in a week or so, but until then, no flying! You will need to go in tomorrow to get your wing braces removed at 4pm. Do not be late." Back track said as he trotted to the door.

"Wait... You are just going to leave me here!?"

"Why not. She's here now and I don't have a reason to believe that she is a threat to you. Rain is in jail, so you don't have issues there either. Why wouldn't I leave?"

"The paper work? You said I had to file it. what about the business?"

"I forged your signature, it wasn't hard, I just scribbled it down. As far as the business, it seems like it is doing just fine on it's own. You will need to talk with them to be sure, but they all know your situation and have set things up pretty nice without you there. If I had to guess, I would say that they are worried that if it does not do well, they will be out of a job."


"So that's it? Where are you heading to now?" I asked as I tried to let everything start to sink in.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that I may be heading south... Far south. So you need to get some rest, no more fighting and don't forget your doctors appointment." And with his parting words feeling more like idle threats, Back Track was gone. It was if he had not been here at all, but been here the whole time. I guess that's why he's a tracker. I looked to Whistles who looked like a filly who had found her lost puppy after weeks of searching.

"You follow me when I leave your house?" I asked with a sly grin.

"I-I want to make sure you make it home safe! I swear!" She said with a nervous smile.

"Sure you do. Are you sure it's not to get a better look at my butt?"

"No! I promise! Wait, no that came out wrong! I would never look at your but without you..." Whistles buried her head into the comforter beside me, piled it around her head and screamed. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT ANSWER IS!"

"Oh babe... come here." I said in a comforting tone as I pulled her closer. " You can look at my butt anytime.

The two of us spent the next hour trying to figure out everything that had happened. Back Track was very good at relaying information... just information. Emotions, worries, fine details of relationships on the other hoof... Well, they might as well be details about another planet he had never been to. So it stood to reason that there was plenty of catching up to do as we cuddled together on my bed. 

Whistles told me that not long after I had left that her mother insisted that she go after me and make sure I made it home ok. She had caught up to me about the time Rain and his two morons of friends jumped me on the vary cloud she and I first met on. He had tailed me all the way from the edge of Cloudsdale to the edge of the Everfree before he came screaming out of the sky and right down on top of me. His friends then held me up while Rain had his marry way with beating the hell out of me. After I blacked out, Rain and another buck stood on my back and tried to pull my wings from their sockets. Thank Celestia I was blacking in and out and never felt that pain.

Whistle detailed the story as if it were a movie she could not forget. Then again, to her sitting there helpless to do anything at all, too scared to move, she had no choice but watch. I could not even begin to imagine what that must have been like, to sit there and watch somepony you love be torn limb from limb, by her own father. She described it as her own worst nightmare come to life. After Back Track took me away and the air guard had taken her statement, she was ordered home. 

She spent everyone of the five days trying to find where I had been take to. She went to every hospital short of flying to Hoofington trying to find me, but there was no chance of that happening. I had been taken to the air force base outside of Cloudsdale to be seen by their doctors. Figures I ended up there what with BT finding me and all. I spent the next few days undergoing a few surgeries and being kept unconscious to relieve the pain before being brought back here, to my home. By that time Whistles had began thinking the worst, worrying that I had been scared off or... worse. Even still, she kept a watchful eye on my home, waiting for me to come back home. It wasn't until today that she even had spoken to Back Track at all, thinking that I wanted nothing more to do with her after all that had happened.

But that was never the case for me. She had no control over what her father did, she couldn't have even began to try and stop them from hurting me. The only thing she could do was sit, watch and wait all the while hoping that they would leave so she could fly to my side and try to get help. It was heart breaking to listen to, I wanted nothing more than to take her bad memories and toss them away, but Rain had found one last way to hurt her. He found the one thing of her's he could break after all these years. He found me. 

"Whistles... Don't cry... I'm ok, I'm still here and I'm not leaving." I said, trying to stem the tide of tears flowing from her eyes.

"You don't understand! I almost lost you! I can't lose you, not now, not ever!"

"You're not going to lose me. It would take a hell of a lot more than this to take me away from you."

"The worst part of this is that I couldn't help you! I wanted to so bad but my stupid body wouldn't listen to me!" She screamed as she pounded my mattress.

"HEY! I wouldn't have had it any other way. I wouldn't have wanted you to try and stop it, you could have gotten yourself in the same spot i'm in... maybe even worse! I rather take the beating and see you later than you take one at all."

"Why do you always do this! Why do you keep putting me first in front of yourself!? It's not fair! It's not fair!"

"Because..." I said quietly.

"Because why!?"     

"Because I don't ever want to see you hurt again. I promised you. Even if it means doing it all over again, I wouldn't blink. You gave your fair share of pain, let me take it from here." Whistles said nothing but instead held onto me tighter and just as I promised, even with my ribs aching in agony from her holding me, I didn't blink, I let her have her moment of respite, with me. 









"Whistles, seriously!?" I shouted as I tried to shut the door to the bathroom.

"You need my help! I can help you!" She shouted back in a mocking tone.

"Whistles please! I'm trying to poop in here!"

"But what if you fall again!?" She said as she pushed on the door.

"I already told you! I fell ASLEEP! ASLEEP! Not 'oh I have fallen and I can't get up', ASLEEP!"

"Who falls asleep on a toilet anyways!? What kinda buck are you?" She shouted, taunting me further. 

"Please let me do my business in peace, I promise the toilet won't try to kill me."

"But what if it does!? Or worse! What if that whole box of snack cakes you ate last night at 2 in the morning does! Whatever will I put on the tomb stone!?"

"For fuck sakes babe... Wait, you saw that!?" Crap! I was so quiet too! We had not been back from the hospital for more than an hour after having my immobilizers taken off and she was already picking on me. Granted it was welcomed, it added a little fun to our relationship at times. Then there were times like this one, me trying to poop while holding off an insane mare and her telling me she has been spying on me and my late night snackery. 

"Oh ok... But here... take this at least." She said as she passed me my ball bat from the hallway.

"Seriously? What am I going to do with this..."

"You know, for protection! The snack cakes might want revenge!" She said in way too innocent of a voice... Great, I'm powerless to that voice, she could use it to get anything her heart wanted... Most mares would want a new dress or jewelry... Mine uses it to torment me while I try to go to the bathroom.  

"Thanks babe..." 

"Don't forget to wash your hooves too!" She sing-songed down the hallway.

"YES MOOOOOOM..."

Our relationship... I wouldn't call it a full on mature adult relationship, sure we loved each other as much, but we definitely lacked maturity. Whistles had stayed by my side the entire time of my injured state, never once complaining about having to help me go to the bathroom, bathe or sometimes eat. You would be surprised how hard it is to eat with only one functioning eye at the time. But where I needed help, she was there. It was embarrassing at times, but she made up for it with caring well enough. One thing was for sure, it had grown over the last few days. 

It was like without the fear of Rain, or her having to leave at the end of the night had brought out a new side of her. Gone was the timid and shy mare who was too afraid to talk, now she did so freely, even going so far as to play little jokes on me and tease me from time to time. I loved her when she was like this, not because it was in some way more appealing, but because it was who she was meant to be. I guess we all have something that brings us pain, something that tares at us from the inside and beats us down to think we are nothing at all.

For her it was her father. Abusive, angry and demeaning with his every move he forced Whistles hide away her most prized of emotions in desperation not to be seen. She had learned to take then and store them away and not be seen as anything more than another pony in the background, if that. It wasn't until she was free of him that she got a chance to be what she had always feared the most. Time with me brought that out in her, nothing prideful about it, it was the truth, no matter how I reasoned it was her all along. Now that she was free, she could finally be happy and my reward was her smiling face every morning. 

I made my way down stairs to the living room and the awaiting stack of papers that the new shop assistant, Cliff Note,  had brought over. Product acquisition proposals that had been thoroughly combed through already, tax returns... oh how fun taxes are and a nice pile of income statements for the month. Where I had not spent near as much time in the shop as my father in my pursuit of happiness, I still was my father's colt. I wanted to see every bit that came through the door and everyone that went out in effort to help keep his dream alive. Not to mention it was nice to see actual money coming in, did I mention I love money!? Like, a lot!?

"Cask?" Whistles whispered from the door way to the kitchen.

"Yeah babe?" 

"I was thinking..." She said as she timidly tapped her hooves together.

"Oh Celestia... if this is about that dress again, I already said to go and get it and that you look cute in it."

"No, no... I bought it before I showed it to you. I was thinking about something we talked about, long ago."

"Yeah?" I said as I finished up my month's paper work and slid it to the side. 

"Yeah... What if we just... left." 

"Left? Left how? Like go on vacation?"

"No silly... Like left-left. Didn't tell anypony who didn't need to know and just... disappeared. Started a life for ourselves somewhere else."

"So just like, leave and never come back? What about the business? This house? Your mom?" 

"Cask... I don't really want her to know... where I am." She said in a shameful tone. I sat for a moment thinking about that last bit. Sure her home life was... well, shit. But why would she not want her mother to know where she was? Was it the fact that her mom wanted to make things right with Rain? Was it the fact that she so willingly gave her up to me in desperation? Maybe she was worried that Rain would somehow get out of jail and come to finish things off for good.

"Ok... Why?" Whistles pondered for what felt like an eternity before hitching her voice and continuing. 

"H-have you ever had something you really cared about, something you never knew you wanted until you got it and would do anything to protect it?" Oof... didn't see that coming. Talk about some level ten love talk. I guess she was still worried that something could happen to us here. Sure we have been through a lot together, but was it really necessary to just leave all together?

"Yes. I have you. Do you really think now is the right time to leave for good? Do we really need to?"

"Heh... I-I think I want to. I think it's the last thing I need to feel, safe. I think I need that now." She said almost ashamed to want something that everypony should have given to them freely. The truth was, I honestly did not want to leave this place now, I had so many memories here. It was the last place I felt close to my dad, the last place I remember having a family and the last place that everything fell into place in my life. But I wouldn't have any of these things without Whistles by my side. Memories are just that, memories, they can go anywhere. My dad even used to say that there was no use worrying about tomorrow because it hasn't happened yet. I just wish he had not worried so much about the past, maybe he would still be here.

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Ok, let's do it!" I said with a smile.

"Really!? REALLY-REALLY!?" Whistles shouted in glee as she playfully patted her hooves into my chest.

"Yes, really-really. If it is what will make you feel safe, let's do it. Let's leave and never come back."

I was scared, terrified of the idea. Neither of us had really strayed too far from this area our whole lives, now we were talking about moving on a whim hundreds of miles away. It would mean leaving that small part of me that was clinging to the past behind me, but if it was for her, I couldn't say no.

"YESYESYES!" She shouted as she ran to pack her bags. Oh sure... leave me to deal with all the dirty work. I only had to transfer power of attorney to somepony to run the shop, pay them, arrange a moving company, pack everything in storage, find us a home, get it set up and... everything else... no sweat.

"What about all of... THIS!"

"All of what!?" she shouted from the upstairs bed room.

"What!? There is like... five vans worth of crap in here! We don't even have a place up there yet!"

"Leave it! Just take what's important and leave a note to Cliff to have the rest put in storage! We can buy new stuff and come back for whatever we forget."

"WHISTLES! Bit's don't just grow on trees!" Great... now I'm my father. Every young buck's dream to worry about money had come true! Oh I love being a adult! No, wait... the other thing. Hate. Might as well write the shop a note before we break ties and run off...

"Hunny... We have the bits. You said so yourself." She said as she dropped two big bags at my hooves packed to the brim. I had barely finished my letter when she damn near broke the floor boards with them.

"Did you..." I started

"Pack your hoodies, hats, pictures of your parents, jacket, tooth brush and deodorant? Yes." She said firmly.

"Ok but what about..."

"The check book, our ID's, shampoo, your stuffed teddy from when you were a cold, your dad's necklace and your mother's jewlery? Yes."

"An-"

"Socks, hoofboots, your stash of bits from the ceiling light, picture album and favorite blanket." Whistles said with a wide eye'd grin, all the while wagging her tail so violently that it made her butt shimmy side to side. I stared into those big blue eyes, the same ones that could get anything they wanted with the slightest glance and sighed.

"Whistles you were up there for like, three minutes... how did you get all this stuff read so fast?"

"I... Was hoping you would say yes, I had been packing all morning." She said sheepishly. 

"Well I freaking guess!" I shouted as I threw my hooves up.

"Cask... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"No no... You are right. If we are going to do this, we need to just leave now before we grow any common sense. But I'm not selling this house. As fun of a idea as it is, I will still need to come back here and deal with business from time to time."

"Ok!" 

"And no lofts, I hate those things!"

"No lofts! promise."

"One last thing..." I said as we headed towards the door. 

"Can we take the train? I really don't want to fly all the way there with it sack of concrete on my back." Honestly, how did she lift this damn thing!?

"Yes, of course." She said as I turned to look back one last time before I locked the door.

As abrupt as it had all started, it felt like it ended the same. Some ponies would call it the ending of a chapter, to me if felt more like the closing of a book. It was heart wrenching, gut twisting pain to walk away from my old life. Even with it's near constant heartache, loneliness and sorrow, it was still my life. Other ponies would take one look at tit and shrug it off as refuse, but to me... 

I could still see my dad going on one of his crazy rants in the kitchen, wondering how dinner got made without him knowing. I could see myself sitting on the old couch in the den, watching tv and half-heartedly working on a assignment as I waited for another day to pass. But all the sadness that was once there was gone. Instead my mind painted a vivid picture of Whistles standing in my doorway, shivering with cold, worried I wouldn't let her in. I could see us cuddling by the fireplace and I could see our first kiss together, all those nights ago. 

It was like she was the one thing I had been missing all these years since my mother passed away. She was that magical force that somehow, without even trying, found a way to come into my life and shine light on all the good I could not see. Maybe I hadn't been the one who walked through the fire for her, maybe, just maybe she had been the one who done it for me. As fond as my memories were in this old house, my life was not here, it was with her.

"Hey... Are you ok cask?" Whistles asked, worried I was having second thoughts.

"Better now." I said with a smile. "Let's go."





> Chapter 11: Whistles In The Wind, A Caskade Of Thoughts
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Letting Go
Chapter 11: Whistles In The Wind, A Caskade Of Thoughts
Rocco Rocccs
{Pre-Edit}








If you had told me a few months ago that I would not only meet a buck who really really gets me, but be on a train bound for Manehatten to start a new life... I would have told you that you are crazy! It seems like yesterday that I was hiding from everypony and trying my best to not be seen, now look at me! Heh, here I am, face in the wind coming from the train car window, smiling! I'm actually smiling! I still can't get passed the way it feels to just... smile! This must be what other ponies feel all the time! 

I can't believe that I ever took it for granted and didn't just smile more! Then again, before I met Cask... I guess I never really had a reason to smile very much. At the best I would get a sigh of relief If dad wasn't home. I'm so glad I took the chance and flew down to see him that day, otherwise Celestia only knows where I would be now. Sure I saw him in class all the time, and flying home from school and sometimes when he would sit on that cloud outside of Cloudsdale... But I'm so glad I finally worked up the courage to talk to him!

I remember it like it just happened. Me, terrified, wings trembling... I had never talked to another buck before... well, not like THIS anyway. Not to mention that he had my attention from the very first day he had moved to the same school I was going to. Ok, Ok... I had a crush, kill me. But Just thinking about how scared I was then, right before I tapped his shoulder... Heh, I just fill silly now. Ok, maybe a little embarrassed too... also still scared. I guess somethings about me will just never change. But now look at us! He's right here! Right beside me! 

Sometimes I worry that he doesn't know how I truly feel, like, how much he actually really means to me. Every time I get close to actually showing him or telling him... I see those golden orange eyes of his and I just... OH! I just can't believe this happened! He's mine! He's actually mine! I had always wanted something like this and now here I am! Goodness I'm gushing to myself again. This has to be something that comes from having no pony to talk to by myself for the last few years. I feel so silly doing it, but I can't help myself.

I can't wait to see what awaits us in Manehatten! A new life, a real chance to start over and just be somepony I always wanted to be! It's a dream come true! I know Cask is a little... worried, but if he only knew how scared I was right now. Well, he would probably say something like 'Damn it! Why did you make us leave then' and give me that look he does when he confused. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I do confuse him on purpose, I can't help it. He's just so damn cute with his wide puppy eyes and his drooping ears! Ugh! I just can't stand it! He would never understand just how bad I need for us to leave or just how bad WE need to leave. I couldn't even begin to tell him why. 

It would... hurt too much. As much as I love him, there are still somethings I can't force myself to tell him, as bad as I know he needs to know. I could only imagine what he would try to do to my dad if he ever found out about... that. Just thinking about it hurts. More than the screaming at me, the beatings or feeling like he never wanted me around. Why did he have to do THAT to me too!? Wasn't everything else enough? Why did it have to be me? It took me so long to trust anypony again after that night. Thank goodness mommy heard me screaming, otherwise... Don't Whistles... Don't let him make you cry again, he can't get you now. 

If Cask ever found out I'm sure he would try to kill him. But how do you tell somepony you love that you were nearly raped by your own father? If I ever did and Cask tried to take revenge like I know he would... I could lose Cask forever. I know he would never think about that, he would just see rage and do the only thing that came natural to him. He's a sweet buck... but he is still a buck, a stubborn, protective buck and dear Luna do I ever love him for it. I needed somepony like him to show me that life was still ok, that I could be happy again, that I could feel safe.

But even after all these years after, I still have nightmares about that night. What if mom had not been home? What if he had hurt her and kept her away from me? They all end the same, with me waking up and crying myself back to sleep. It wasn't until I had Cask laying beside me that I had a real night's sleep. I could just reach for him and he would wrap me up in a hug and hold me tight. He made the screaming stop and the bad dreams go away. He will never know just how much I will always love him for that. I can't even begin to think of a way to repay him. 

He keeps saying that I was the one that made his life better, if only he knew. Heh, if only he knew I had a crush on him all that time too. I bet he would go beet red! I have got to remember to tell him that one day, I bet he will be so confused too! All those evenings of staring at him just sitting there on that cloud, trying not to fall asleep in class and that one time he crashed head on into the janitor. I bet he never even saw me back then. 

I still remember the first time we truly talked to one another. He looked so sad when he came into the library that day. Dad had spent the morning screaming at me for not cleaning me room the night before, even though I always kept it spotless so he wouldn't. As I always did, I faked that I needed to study and flew to the library for nothing more than to get away for a little while where it was quiet. Had I known that Cask would fly past me and nearly throw me off the walk way in his haste to get to class that didn't exist, I would have dressed better.

When he came into the library though, my heart skipped a beat! It was like fate or something else more powerful had brought us together. The fact that I hid under the desk I was sitting at was embarrassing but not nearly as embarrassing as the little squeak I made when I saw him sleeping right across from me. He was shivering so bad that I have no idea how he managed to sleep through it! As I often did, I had my blanket with me that I used to take small naps in the back of the rows of books and I saw my chance to be nice to him.

I was so scared that he would wake up that I was trembling! Oh goodness I'm getting all nervous just thinking about how awkward I was! If he had woke up... I bet he would have never talked to me again and thought that I was a creep! I just couldn't bare to think of it! But I wanted to help him, I wanted him to be warm and not so cold anymore so I took the chance and covered him up. I then sat and waited for him to wake for what felt like forever! But his cute little sniffs in his sleep kept me entertained well enough.    

When he finally started to wake, oh... I got so scared that I was doing the wrong thing! I was violating his space! Me, a pony he probably never knew existed was just putting blankets on him and sitting there waiting for him to wake up, watching him sleep all creepy like. I never wanted to inconvenience anypony and this was so far out of my comfort zone that I was trembling! Would he be mad? Scared? Freaked out that I so willingly broke his trust barrier? I was just so nervous!

I remember lifting the blanket ever so gentle with a hoof and biting my lip in preparation for the worst. But even with all the fear in the world around me, it could not even begin to think of it when his sleepy orange eyes peeked back at me. I wanted so bad to talk to him but... I couldn't chance it. Oh! Why did I have to freak out and go mute on the cloud!? I wanted so badly to talk to him, to let him hear my voice, just for a moment.

I never showed it the whole time I was writing our little notes, but I was crying on the inside but my face bore a smile all the same. It hurt so damn bad that my fears kept my silent those first few days. It felt like I was lying to him the whole time we were together but, I couldn't. Every time I would open my mouth, my heart would clinch and my stomach would start doing little back flips. There was something deep within me that screamed at me to keep my mouth shut, run, hide myself away from him or anypony. It wouldn't let me trust anypony near me. It told me if I stayed quiet, then the screaming would stop. 

I wanted so much more from life that I felt guilty for it, and that just made it all so much worse. The harder I tried to break my silence around Caskade, the worse it would get. Even When I chased him back to his house, I lied to him then too. I had not been searching for him, I knew right where he went. But that little voice kept me from knocking on his door, it kept me outside in the bitter cold staring at his freezing hoodie.

I remember squeezing my head to make it stop, crying to myself that I was too worthless to even try and talk to another pony. I forced myself to raise my hoof to knock, the pain was deafening in my mind, begging me to run and hide and that this was not what I deserved. I deserved to be alone, nopony should have to deal with me, especially a buck as sweet as he was. By the time he answered the door, I was shivering more in pain and fear than the cold. 

I couldn't relax in his home, despite how sweet he was being to me. But something started to happen within me, the more time I was near him, the more he spoke to me as if I were just like him, that... screaming began to slowly go away. With every touch of him near me, with his very presence it was like he found a way to calm my shaking. When I rested my chin on his head, it was like there was something that connected us. It was like it dealt a final blow to my fears. 

I was taking a risk by kissing him, but I didn't care, I just wanted it to stop and he was the only pony who could. I know we were moving too fast, but I didn't care, I just wanted more of him. I still don't know if that is what love is, maybe puppy love? He relaxed me so much, I broke my silence. Nopony has ever done that with me! He was shocked to say the least, honestly, so was I but in my panic I forced another kiss from him. Thankfully he didn't kill me for lying, although he wasn't happy that I was 'hiding myself away' as he put it.

We have come so far since that day, we have trotted together through my worst fears together. I never could have done it without him. I could have never stood up to my dad without him by myside. I could have never even have put my mane back in a ponytail for Celestia's sake, but he told me that he loves seeing my eyes and... I guess that he was the water that put the fire of fear within me out. Everyday was one more step away from who I was and one step closer to who I wanted to be. 

As the days passed I started to realize that I wanted to worry less and see him more. I wanted to just be near him, know that he was ok and that he was not mad at me. Oh Luna that day... I still start to cry when I close my eyes and see him being beaten. My stomach still ties in knots and my heart still breaks. I-I couldn't help him! I was watching my dad... no, he's no dad. I watched as that-that... bastard beat him. Every hit I felt, every pull of his wings I felt and every second I couldn't help him My heart broke more. I was back to feeling worthless and helpless to the one pony who had showed me that I could be so much more. Watching them take him away was the worst part, I screamed for him, I begged to go I fought with everything I had until they forced me back home. 

I have never cried so hard in my life that first night of waiting. I wanted to run out of that damn house and find him, but I was told if I did, I would never see him again. Cask likes that buck 'Back Track', I would never tell him, but I hate him. He may have done what I never could have, but he pushed us apart with so much ease that it hurt. I will never forgive myself for what I couldn't do, But Caskade... He never blinked. 

I took one look at me and it was as if I never did anything wrong. He has told me I could never do wrong in his eyes, but I so have. I failed him so many times but he just keeps forgiving me as if it were as easy as breathing. But I guess it is two fold, he has also told me that he has failed me over and over and I brush it off. That's because in my eyes, after everything he has done for me, he can not do wrong by me.

We are a strange couple, sure, but he loves me. That much he has proven time and time again. He looked passed that quiet mare in the corner and saw... me. Just me. He took hold of my heart and never let it go. I owe him so much, through the pain and the crying, he was the one that stopped it all. He keeps saying that I walked through his fire for him to save him, but I feel the same. Truth is, we walked through the fire together, holding hooves, willingly, because we knew we wanted to save each other. If for some reason one day it consumes us, then together we will burn, holding hooves and smiling.  









I can't believe this is happening... Why did I agree to do this? I looked to the mare sitting beside me who seemed to be going through every emotion in the book, using the wind to hide it all away. One second she would smile, then frown then I swear she would start crying but some how find a way to stop it all over again. She had to be feeling so much right now, anger, fear, sadness but at the same time, happiness. It was as though she was torturing herself without knowing it. She always does this when she is forcing change in herself. I would know, I have seen it first hoof.

It seems like just yesterday I was looking into those sky blue eyes for the first time, never knowing that one day I would get to see them all the time. I never even saw her love coming, hitting me like the very train we were riding and taking me by surprise. I remember thinking the first time I saw her that I could never hope to have somepony as beautiful as her in my life of any amount of time. My heart was hopeful, but I knew it was going to just hurt me later to think even for a moment she would want to be with me. 

Everyday with her after that night at my dad's house was like another dream come true. It felt more surreal than anything, like I had fallen asleep only to wake up to a world were everything was right. It was a world were my mother and father were still here, where we all still lived in Cloudsdale, where we didn't have to worry about anything . Then again, something so whimsical was merely a dream, yet the feeling still remained. 

That feeling was the one that she gave me when she would do nothing more than smile in my direction, relaxing those beautiful eyes of her's. She gave me something nopony else could, she made the pain stop and showed me that not all clouds were gray. She did all of this, healed my broken heart and gave me the love I had been missing, all without so much as trying. She just... did it. 

Maybe it was both of our problems helping each other so well, maybe we were both broken in just the right way that what remained of us could make us whole. Whatever it was, I would do it over in a heart beat and I wouldn't change a thing. Even through the fear I had about leaving home, I knew that this was something that she wanted, needed even. If this was the last piece of the puzzle to help her find peace, then there was never any question. I didn't have to agree with her, all i needed was to know she would be happy.

So, here I am, a love struck fool uprooting my life for the sake of her's. Then again, maybe it was more for the both of us. She had said before we left that she had something that she wanted to protect, something that she never knew she wanted until she got it. Well, whatever that was to her, I'm sure it was a great reason to leave. Me on the other hoof... I had what I had always wanted and just like her, I too had no clue it was what I needed until I go it.  

For me it was the simple reward to get to be near her, to get to be the one holding her at night and the one that got to see that special little smile she would only show to me. Simply knowing that I was the buck that she trusted enough to give those things too was all I needed to give her my world. Whistles is... Special. Her parents said that time and time again to me, but I doubt that they knew just how special she truly was to me.

I know about the screaming she had to go through, I know how painful making that first move had to have been and I know that she had to be braver than I to do so. I know because I was going through my own war of emotions. I told myself day in and day out that I never deserved somepony like her and that I should just keep to myself. But what makes me truly think she is so special is that I know she went through so much more than I ever had and still found the courage to step forward. 

Such a thing had to have taken everything she had and been akin to torture. I didn't know what it was at the time and in a lot of ways, I still don't really know how to put it into words. But as best as I can think of it, I feel like it was sacrifice. She went through hell just to talk to me that night. I know she had to be terrified, because I was too. Neither of us wanted to let anypony near us for fear of rejection. 

I knew that if I had messed up that night that i would relive everything I did wrong until another mare stumbled into my pity filled life to try again. But for her... I doubt she would ever try again. Whisper said to me that her and Whistles were a lot alike, they both hang their star on somepony, even if it is a falling one. So for her, this WAS all or nothing. She simply closed her eyes and dealt the cards, I'm just luck that they came up blackjack. 

I know that back then I could feel something between us, I'm just thankful that I didn't ignore it when I had the chance. I could have done things so wrong if I had not decided to go with the feeling I was clinging to. I could have lost her forever and never knew what I was missing out on. Sure you never miss what you never had, but in the grant scheme of things, i would like to think that this was the best case ending for the both of us. 

Rain is gone from her life, we got word that his trial was being expedited and that his chances of serving anything less that twenty years was slim to none. My heart ached for Whisper, but it was hard to hold any pity for her after she so willingly gave her daughter up for a chance to be with Rain one more time. The part of me that knew that she and Whistles were just alike told me to forgive her for it. After all I was on the receiving end of such a powerful love and I could vouch for how intoxicating it was, I would do anything for it. 

But the other part of me, the logical part that is was screaming that she was a moron. She could have so much more if she wanted it, all she had to do is do what her daughter did and take that first step. Maybe she lacked something that Whistles had, maybe she had been in too deep for too long with Rain. But whatever it was, it was infuriating! But nevertheless, one thing in my brain overshadowed all else.

As I said before, Whistles love was intoxicating to me. Her mother was no different in the way she gave it freely. That meant that Rain, even with his constant hang ups on my family and his anger, was given this and threw it all away for spite. This made me truly hate him as a pony. But even still, I pitied him more than anything. Here was a buck with everything, two loving mares that would have moved the stars for him if he so much as asked and paid them the respect they both deserved. Yet he spent his life beating them down and forcing his own daughter to hide herself away from the world. 

He was a weak, shriveled excuse for a spirit and would get everything what was coming to him in that prison. It's my sincere hope that he one day realizes what he did to them both and what he lost. Not for closer and not for retribution for his family. No, I want him to know what he lost so it will torment him until the day he dies. He deserves to know that he was his own undoing, not his family. 

If I have to spend my last bit to do so, I will see to it that he will never come close to either of us again. So in a lot of ways, I was happy that we were leaving this place for good. Sure I had memories tied to everything that we were putting behind us. But those memories were all nothing more than heartache the more I thought about it. Everything in front of us was bright and promising and with this mare by my side, I know it will all work out. We had proven as much by making it this far.

Really and truly, the only pony I was leaving behind was my old high school friend Skyler. But whose to say that he wouldn't come visit now that we had started talking again. Hell, even Sneaks was working his flank off before we had left at being my friend. But apart from those two ponies, I really didn't have anything holding me back from just leaving that place for good and starting over. 

Whistles was once again smiling out the window, I think I even saw her crack up at one point. What on Eqquis was going on in that mares head. Sometimes I worry about her, maybe she's really a lunatic and I was just under some love spell in an overly elaborate scheme to trick me into helping her escape. 

"Babe? Are you ok?" I asked, giving her back a light rub.

"Huh!?" She shouted as she nearly climbed out the window in fear.

"Easy now... Just breath."

"Oh! Heh... Sorry hunny. I was just thinking of... everything."

"Yeah? What all?"

"Well..." She started as she snuggled up to me. "For one thing, we never gave Skyler back that Wonderbolts outfit back."

"To be fair, I don't think he would want that thing back..."

"We did make a mess of it, didn't we."

"Babe, we make a mess of everything when we do... THAT." I said with a smile.

"Are you sure you are ok with this? I don't want to force you to leave." She said in a worried tone. I sat thinking for a moment, wanting to ask so many questions to better understand why we were leaving. But in the end, my heart won out and I I caved.

"Are you sure this is what you want, that this is what you need to be truly happy?" I asked hurting for details. 

"Yes. I need this. We both need this."

"Can I ask why? I think it would help me with all... this." I asked meekly, hoping I was not about to open a can of worms I knew nothing about.

"I need to... not be there. Cask, so many bad things happened there and I don't think I could stand to stay. I always wanted to run away, just... fly off. But I was scared, I never could have made it on my own. Not after... everything..." Whistles tone broke down into tears mid sentence. 

"Hey-Hey! It's ok. He will never hurt you again, I wont let it happen, I swear!" Crap. This is why I never ask the details with her. She starts crying and I become a puddle of mush who will do anything to stop it. But despite the tears, I was gathering that she had been hurt far worse that I could have imagined by Rain.

"I know it's just... Cask you have to promise me that we let it all go!" She said with tear filled eyes.

"What do you mean 'let it all go'? We are leaving, we are never coming back. The worst is over now."

"No, hunny... It so isn't. I-I... He..." I had never heard her cry like this before. It was like she was having to rip something out of her just to tell me. 

"Babe... It's ok. Whatever it is, it is in the past and we are going to move on, together." I said as I held her close to me. Whistles was holding back tears to the point of giving herself the hiccups. I was hurting for her, but it was hard to show it with her cute little squeaks she was making.

"He... He... T-tried..." She squeaked out as she scrunched her face together. He tried to what? Run her off? Break her down? Send her to a home? My mind raced for answers as if it were running from a fire. 

"Whistles... He failed." I said trying to stop her. This was already going to hell before it ever began. Why did I half to ask her.

"He... Tried... to... ra... ra... rape..." Her words were muddy and thick with tears. But My mind was already putting the pieces together long before she said it. All at once, my racing thoughts ground to a halt and my heart sank. If you had told me without Whistles being here crying in front of me that Rain had tried to do THAT to her, I would have never said a word. I would have been so angry that nothing would have stopped me from trying to kill him. 

But this was different. I looked down into those eyes, the same ones I had come to love and saw pain, true pain. It was as if I could see her broken heart through them, knowing exactly what had caused it. I wanted to scream, I wanted to tear this train apart from the floors down and go find him. But seeing her like this did something different, something I never in a million years thought I would do. I started crying with her. 

Just knowing that somepony could hurt another pony on that level, to hurt them like this was bad enough. But seeing that it was the very reason that had nearly ruined somepony I loved... It was killing me. It was like I could feel the pain she was in, my heart broke to see somepony as sweet and kind as her painted in such a light. How... could he. How evil do you have to be to hurt such a fragile creature like Whistles like that. 

Even with my want to fly off and end his life, even I knew that what he was about to get a shattered hoof was more than enough pay back, if he lived. No, I had to stay right here and help pick up the pieces and show her that the clouds were not all gray. Everything that she had showed me, everything odd that she had done suddenly had meaning behind it. All the pieces fell into place, but now I wish they hadn't.

"Please! Promise me Caskade. Promise you won't leave me." She said just above a whisper in my ear as I held her tight.

"I can't. I need you too much." I whispered back.

The train bounced and shifted as it carried us further from what I was now considering hell on Eqquis. Knowing what I know now, this train could not move fast enough. I wanted as far from that place as she did now and I will be damned if I ever take her back. Damn him. DAMN him for doing this to her! Damn her mother for hiding it, Damn him from trying and to hell with everything behind us, it can burn for all I care. 

When the two of us made love for the first time, what had she had to go through for that!? What torment was she dealing with back then? It was no wonder she had woke up screaming that night. Such a thing must have brought back all those nightmares... all because she wanted to show me how much she loved me. It wasn't fair, but life never is. Suddenly all of my problems seemed so small and pointless. All I wanted now was for her to be happy again. 

But how do you fix something you can never see. How can you replace someponies innocence? You can't do something like that over night, even if i killed the buck who did it, the wound would still be there. The only thing that would help, was time. Time away, time together and just... time. 

"W-Whistles?" I asked as I sat upright and stood up next to the bench seat we were on. She said nothing but looked up to me with fearful eyes as though I were about to leave her. "I can't fix what's broken. I can't even begin to stop the pain." I said fighting back my own tears.

"C-Cask... No..." She said in a whimper. I looked around the train car at all the ponies who were now staring at me, including the two angry mares that had surely heard everything we had said, sitting right behind us. 

"But I can try. I can be there every morning and every night. I can be the one who helps you pick up the pieces and move on. And I promise that no matter what happens, I will help you carry the pain, even if it kills me." Whistles broke her frown for just a moment, showing me that she knew what I was saying was the truth. "Whistles? Will you marry me?" I asked  as I fell to my haunches. 

The train car stood silent as I sat there waiting for the answer that was going to change my life. The collective gasps of the other patrons filled the air amidst the clacking of train tracks and roar of the engine ahead of us. I could only imagine what everypony thought when the sniveling and crying mare lurched forwards and landed atop me, knocking me to my back with a very much so needed kiss. 

All around us the air filled with cheers and congratulations, but we heard none of them in our moment together. It wasn't a fix, but it was all I could give her. She already had my heart, what was my time in comparison, she would have got that anyways. But the one thing I had that I could give her that nopony else could, was the rest of my life. 

My dad was right. We are just kids, thinking we are grown, who would have thought that one night together would have lead to so much more. Who would have known that we loved each other more than either of us could have ever imagined. But it wasn't until today that I finally realized what he meant. Until you know just how bad you can hurt without somepony, you will never know how much you love them.
> Chapter 12: One Makes Two...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------






Letting Go
Chapter 12: One Makes Two
Rocco Roccs
Ending of this chapter was written to the song 'Kiss from a rose' (cover) by Wake Me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS6YGF_IwIk


"Sweet Luna's ASS!" I screamed as I stubbed my hoof on the same hallway end table that I somehow managed to find... Again... For the twelve time. "Hunny!? Remind me why we need this STUPID thing again?"

"Because it's cute! It finishes off the hallway well!" Whistles sung her words as sweet as she could knowing I hated this infernal thing. 

"It's about to be in a million cute little pieces if I hit it again..."

"Hey! It did nothing to you... It's been there the whole time, you are the one that keeps bumping into it."

I screwed up my face at the thought that where she was in fact right, It was painfully apparent that our new home was booby trapped. Who puts something like this right outside their bedroom!? I have smashed into the thing every morning since we moved in. It nearly killed us both on our wedding night! You can barely trot, let alone carry a mare on two legs while trying your best to have sex on your way to HAVE sex with out smashing into everything!

"Yeah well..." I grumbled as I trotted into our living room. The apartment we have bought was, in a word, nice. Well, ok... It was the nicest home I had ever been in to be honest. But everything still felt surreal, like at any moment it would all disappear and I would wake up from this dream. A beautiful home, a beautiful bride and a beautiful veiw of the ocean to enjoy together. Not to mention the sun was just beginning to set as I had woke up from my nap, painting the room in amber and blue on our white walls and floors.

Granted, city life was a far cry from Cloudsdale, let alone ponyville. Everypony was in such a hurry for everything! It was like they left home and forgot that it was also on fire at the time and they couldn't go home until they got everything done. The shopping is good though... I found SO many hoodies! Everything from Wonderbolts hoodies to Hoofington Reapers hoodies! The former I now own nearly seven of. I don't even like hoofball, but their hoodies just look so freaking cool!

Whistles was taking to the change rather well, all things considering. She still likes to stay home and doesn't venture out further than the downstairs mailbox without me by her side. I can't say I blame her, plenty of crime in the city, something neither of us had considered when we left. I would guess that two young ponies with plenty of bits to spend stick out like a sore hoof in this town, but we were slowly taking to the town well. 

Whistles still has night terrors and still can not sleep without me by her side at night. She says that even with Rain behind bars, she still feels like he is near by. I can't blame her for that even one bit. Had I had to endure what she went through... I don't even want to start down that dark road, I know if I do I will end up getting all pissed off over something that I can't control. 

Sure he was out of our lives for good, but with him in jail and not anything short of dead, he was still in Whistles life. He was like a tumor that refused to disappear, tormenting her until he was gone from this world. He went as far to write us once. Just once. I received the message that had been forwarded by the shop when they collected our mail.

You would think it would be dripping with remorse for what he did all those years, maybe even a touch regretful for how he treated me. You would be wrong too. If anything he hated the two of us and blamed us both for what happened to him, rather himself. But being the changed pony I was, I took the time to write him back several times. I told him how I knew all about what he had done to Whistles and how sick and depraved I though how raping his own daughter was. 

Just to be sure I sent it to his cell number, the one next to it and the other ten or so on that block. But I wanted to make sure he got it for sure so I also sent an extra to the guard post and asked that it be read to him in case he was throwing them away. That was months ago now and I have yet to get the first reply from him. Talk about rude. I might not be able to reach out and give him the hug I feel he needs, but maybe a caring inmate will. 

There really was no need to tell Whistles I had wrote him, it would just worry her more. But with any luck it would be the last time either of us would hear from him. She has enough to deal with from therapy twice a week without her very problem being apart of her life again. It wasn't a fix, but it was a start. As I had promised before, I might not be able to fix her problems, but I can try and try like hell I will.

I owe her so damn much that it worries me that one day she will figure it out, but what scares me to death is that she says that she owes me so much more. How do you tell a pony that it was all worth it in the end, how do you tell them it was nothing at all to help shoulder their problems and have them believe it. I already married her, what more could I do to show her that I loved her through it all? 

Don't get me wrong, our relationship is perfect in every way apart from the two of us still working through our emotional problems. I guess I don't really know how to put it into words, everything just feels 'perfectly flawed' in its own beautiful way. Then again, I once read that 'we are attracted to ponies for their traits, but we love them for their defects'. Maybe that's what it is, maybe when you take two perfectly broken ponies like us and put them together, you have one good relationship. 

She is the light to my dark, she showed me the world could be happy again after I spent the last few years of my life in my own dark pit of sorrow. Her love was what brightened my world and helped me find a way out. I was the key to her lock, the pony who unlocked the door to her hiding place and let her out. But neither of us could have made it out without the other. To say that fate has a way of carrying you right to the place you need to be in life is a understatement. 

"Hunny? Are you going to watch the sunset with me?" Whistles said to me, breaking my silent reverie. Great, somethings never change, I bet she thinks I'm a lunatic just staring off into space. 

"Yeah-yeah... I was just thinking is all. I said as I trotted out onto our deck. 

"You were doing that thing again. Are you ok?" She asked as I laid down beside her on the porch. It wasn't a cloud, but everywhere was a cloud when I was with her.

"Yeah... I was just thinking about... well, everything. You know, it's been a weird couple of months." I said with a sigh.

"Hey..." She started by wrapping her hooves around me. "It's all over now. We have a life now! We can relax!" 

"I am... I guess I just need sometime to adjust to everything. All the stress and... worries. I need some time to let go of what all happened."

"So long as that letting go does not involve me, then I won't hurt you too bad."

"You!? Hurt me?" I said with a laugh. "Whistles I'm twice your size."

"Not all hurt comes from hooves..." Oh... that's what she meant. I thought we were going to be playful, well, screwed that up.

"Hey! I didn't mean too..." I started, but was frozen by feathers tickling me between my hind legs. "H-HEY!"

"HA! Got ya!" Damn it, that was like the fifth time she did that! "No, com'on, seriously? What are you worried about?"

"I guess... I just don't want to end up alone again." 

"Casky... I'm never leaving you. I swear to you that I will be here until we are both gone, even then, I plan to be with you in the Everafter."

"I know, I guess I'm just worried i'm going to screw this all up some how."

"You can't. I won't let you." She said giving my neck a nuzzle.

"I don't know, maybe it's time we went on vacation. You know we never got to have a honeymoon." 

"OH! Can we go to the beach!?"

"Babe, we basically live on the beach..." I said smugly.

"No a real beach! Like down south! One with sand and sun and mmmm! Warm weather! I have never been to a place like that!"

"You mean someplace like White Saddle Shores?"

"OH! YES-YES-YES! Oh Caskade! You know how I have always wanted to go there! Canwe-canwe-huh-canwe-canwe!" Whistles shouted as she began to crawl all over me. 

"YES! For Luna's sake yes! Please just stop crushing me!"

"Oh please... I'm half your size! Can we go!?" She said with more enthusiasm than when I had asked her to marry me.

"YES-YES-YES! Please stop! You're tickling me! I'm going to pee myself!"

"YAY!" She shouted as she came to a rest on my chest, nose to nose with me.

"I'll call the travel agent tomorrow morning and get us two tickets to White Saddle." I said as I wrapped my hooves around her.

"Yeah... About that..." She started as her expression grew nervous. Great, what was it this time... She wanted to fly there, didn't she! I hate flying that far! It's not the flight there, it's the flight back! It sucks flying back from the very place you don't want to leave!

"Whistles, I'm not flying all the way there..." 

"No... Not that... I want to take the train, you know I'm partial to it after you proposed to me on it."

"Then what could it be then?" I asked with with a stroke of her mane.

"Better make that... three... tickets." She said while hiding her muzzle in my chest fluff that she had created.

"I thought you didn't want to talk to your mom any more." I said in confusing.

"No, you know I don't. Casky... hunny..." She said with her eyes just peeking out above my fur.

"Well if you don't want her to come then why do we... need... three... three-three-three-three-"

"Casky..."

"Three-three-three-three." I was stammering. No, there was no way... No... way... "W-when!?" I stammered out once more. I didn't mean to! I just wanted to have some fun with my wife on our first night as a married couple! What would this mean for her!? Celestia knows she had problems with her father, now I was going to be one, and of her own foal! Would she be scared that I would turn out like Rain!? Would she get scared and run back to her mother!? Would she be able to handle this!?

"Our wedding night." She said as she attempted to bury her face into my chest." I was going to be... A DAD! Like HAVE a foal!? What in the... I can't even... What if I'm a bad father!? What if I mess this all up!? What if... IF! 

"H-How..." Oh no this is so bad! What if she didn't want to be a mother and here I am just cramming babies in her! What have I done!?

"Casky... Are you mad?" Her big blue eyes caught just the right ray of sun light to bring me out of my stooper of a train of thought. She was scared, worried and nervous just like I had seen the first time I had ever seen her. Oh no, I really screwed up... Com'on Cask... Fix this! 

"No... I... I'm so-so sorry I made you pregnant." I said burying my hooves into my face.

"But... Why are you sorry?" She said as she pulled them away.

"Babe... I... your dad... me being a dad..." I started but was getting choked up with all the emotions hitting me at once. But she knew just how to stop all of it. Without thinking she pressed her lips to mine and kissed me. Who knew a pony could do so much with just a simple kiss, but coming from her, to could clear the skies of every cloud for miles.

"I'm happy." She said as our lips parted. Oh thank Celestia! I thought I had broke her! She damn near broke me!

"How long have you known!?" I said almost out of breath. Was I having a panic attack? No, I had just forgot to breath there for the last... few... evers.

"About a day. I just didn't know how to tell you. I was so worried you would be mad at me! Oh! I feel so stupid! I knew you would be happy too, but I was worried that you would... you know... react like my... dad." Oh hell... Well, I was nearly right. I wasn't the one worried, she was.

"Hey..." I said pulling her in close. "You don't know it yet... But you just made me the happiest buck in all of equestria."

"Really!?" Shouted in excitement.

"Really-really. I'm scared, but I'm so freaking excited right now!" I said with a mile wide grin. I was going to be a dad! A actual father! 

"I love you Casky." She said as she laid her head upon my chest and cuddled up to me.

There, on a balcony over Manehatten, it happened again. She found another way to surprise me that I never saw coming. I guess it's true what they say, you never know what you want until you get it. I never knew I wanted to be a dad, but here I was, about to be one and I could not be more excited. It was a chance to start a family, a chance to fix what was broken and a chance to be happy all over again. 

As we watched the sun set together, I couldn't help but think back to the first time we met. There is no way I would have ever seen something like this coming even in a million years, it was just too random. But again, fate has a funny way of sneaking up on you like that, one second you are sad, then some out of the blue happens to change everything. I was already thinking of names and praying for a little filly. One thing was for sure, whatever it turned out to be, I was going to hold onto my little family and I was never letting go.