> Black Honey > by P-Berry > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Black Honey > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a warm summer evening in the outskirts of Las Pegasus. The sun had set a bit less than an hour ago, and the last beams of light were just about to vanish. With a quiet, barely audible swoosh, two pegasus ponies came soaring from the direction of Las Pegasus, the city’s brightly lit silhouette seeming to glow in the distance, lighting up the horizon. “Allright, here it is.” the rough, raspy voice of a mare could be heard through the silence of the night, just as the two figures launched into a not-so-gentle landing in the middle of a fenced area in the Las Pegasus desert. “Better get ready for a ride, cowboy.” The female voice, coming from a light cyan Pegasus mare announced with a light slur, letting her red eyes rest on the young pegasus stallion she had brought here as she wobbled over to the rusty caravan standing in a corner of the fenced property. “Cause I sure ain't gonna go easy on you.” “M … mhmm … s-sweeeeeet.” Her male companion slurred back, seeming to have trouble walking in a straight line. His eyes had to search for a few seconds before they finally spotted the blue-haired mare walking in front of him. Gradually, he managed to catch up with her, a silly-looking grin spreading over his face as he stopped next to her in front of the caravan, putting a wing over her back and leaning his head against hers. Though, with his alcohol-induced lack of body-control, the gentle touch ended up being more of a headbutt than anything else, prompting the mare to give a soft groan and lean away from him. “Let’s just get in there and get on with it.” She muttered, blinking a few times as she opened the door to her caravan and stepped inside, almost tripping over the ledge in the process. “Oh, hey mom! How you doing?” The world seemed to come to a standstill for a few moments. Delta Vee was standing in her caravan, in the middle of what served as her living room, kitchen, dining room, and –on some particularly alcohol-filled days- provisional bedroom. And she was not happy. Coming to think of it, she could have very well noticed the light coming from inside her caravan upon landing. Contrary to what some might think, she was quite diligent when it comes to turning the lights off – mostly because power wasn’t easy to get here in the middle of nowhere. But regardless, here she was. Standing in her brightly illuminated home, looking at the light yellow pegasus filly sitting at her dinner table, who was looking right back at her with a cheerful smile on her face. It took Delta a few moments to fully understand what was going on, but when reality caught up with her, she gave an exasperated sigh, and let her head drop. Suddenly, she was feeling all too sober again. “Where have you been?” the filly inquired excitedly, getting up from the bench seat and walking over to her mother with quick, excited steps, “I’ve been waiting for you all day!” She stopped in front of the visibly displeased pegasus mare, flinging her arms around her neck in an excited hug which her mother reciprocated only hesitantly and reluctantly. “What are … what are you doing here, Apogee?” Delta Vee asked with a sigh, rubbing her free hoof over her eyes. Her night vision and alcohol-levels weren’t mixing too well with the bright light coming from above. “Dad dropped me off here earlier!” Apogee explained happily as she broke the hug, “He said something about an important meeting being moved unexpectedly, and didn’t want to leave me alone, so he brought me here.” Delta Vee closed her eyes, giving a barely audible sigh, but Apogee continued undeterred. “We thought you’d be back soon when we saw that sign,” she explained, tilting her head towards a crudely painted metal sign leaning against the wall of the caravan. “So I said I could just stay here, and Dad was in such a rush, he didn’t really argue like he normally did.” She straightened herself up, her smile seeming to widen ever so slightly as her light red eyes began to shine, “So, uh … got anything I can … help you with … or something?” Again, the older mare remained silent for a few moments, her intoxicated brain struggling to compute something she so absolutely didn’t want to hear. Her look went over her shoulder for a second, looking at where the sign was standing, revealing its message: “Be right back. – D.V.” She frowned. That sign was something she normally used to keep salesponies, thugs, debt-collectors and all those other pesky visitors off her back. Now, however, it seemed her plan had backfired, leaving her with a sixteen year-old bundle of energy to take care of, instead of a long night of- Her thoughts were cut short, ears folding back as they picked up the unmistakable retching sound of somepony vomiting right outside her door. Seconds later, the buck she had picked up at her go-to bar in Las Pegasus peeked his head through the door, wiped his mouth with a hoof and produced what was probably supposed to be a sultry grin. “Allllright sweetie, I’m all ready for you now.” He declared, slurring, but then quickly retreated as another jolt ran through his body, and it was back to the retching as his stomach loudly freed itself from its contents. “Oh, who’s that?” Apogee asked innocently, visibly making an effort to ignore the sounds coming from outside. “A … a friend.” Delta Vee replied briefly, softly nudging the door shut with a back hoof to drown out at least some of the noise. “Just some guy I met.” “Oh, is he…” the young mare’s eyes lit up for a second, but then her smile vanished as she began to understand, blushing lightly, “Oh … okay. Umm … should I … go outside, or…?” Again, Delta sighed lightly, shaking her swimming head. Why did this have to happen? Why today!? For crying out loud, all she wanted was some fun, and then this asshole Jet Stream just comes and drops his- She had to end that train of thought. No matter how drunk and peeved she might be, Apogee was her daughter, and Delta shouldn’t look at her like some sort of cargo. But … hadn’t Jet Stream done exactly the same? Decided that he had no use for the filly today, and thus simply dropped her off at her mom’s place to have her take care of her, so he could have some undisturbed fun in his oh-so great penthouse in Las Pegasus. Gradually, Delta could feel how her mood went from moderate, to bad, to worse. Giving a low growl, she clenched her teeth. Hell, right now he probably was in his Jacuzzi with some fancy hookers, screwing around without having to worry about his daughter cockblocking him like, as a matter of fact, she had just cockblocked her mother. But wasn’t this a perfect case example of how their entire life normally went? Jet Stream went out there to make it big, earn heaps of money, and have fun with only the finest champaign and prostitutes, and left her behind to clean up his mess and take care of his responsibilities. “Uh, are you okay, mom?” one of those responsibilities now inquired, seeming slightly worried as she looked at her mother, “You look angry.” “I’m … fine … dear.” Delta Vee forced out through clenched teeth, feeling how her mood sank by the second. Why did he have to screw her over with everything he did? Why couldn’t he just … just let her live her damn life for once? Hadn't he screwed up enough already!? Feeling another growl escape her throat as she once again pictured her ex-husband surrounded by fancy-looking mares from all over the world in his even fancier apartment, Delta couldn’t help it. “Son of a bitch.” She hissed under her breath, somehow hoping that her daughter wouldn’t hear her. “Moooom.” Apogee said scoldingly, “You’re not supposed to-“ “Yeah yeah.” Delta cut her off, lowering her head as her wings stretched out, tapping the pocket of her oil-stained vest, only to find that she had apparently forgotten her pack of cigarettes at the bar. She hissed another curse under her breath. She needed a smoke. And she needed it now! She needed something; anything to quench this slowly seething anger within her. Pressing her lips together, she raised her head, her eyes searching for a certain little something standing on top of a counter in her tiny kitchen. “Why are you always so negative, mom?” her daughter asked, sounding a little saddened as she watched her mother walk over to the counter and reach for the clear glass bottle with the brownish liquid in it. “Come on, be happy.” She invited her cheerfully, “It’s a nice world!” “Yeah, for you.” Delta replied bitterly, pulling off the cork of the bottle with her teeth, and letting out a satisfied grunt as the bottle plopped open. “Because I’m busting my ass, just so your father can sit up there with his hoof up his ass.” With that, she lined the bottle up with her mouth, and took a long swig of the –based on the obtrusive smell- rather strong alcohol inside. “Please don’t talk about dad like that.” The filly asked, tilting her head to the side, “He’s doing a good job, really!” “Yeah, he’s doing my job!” Delta Vee shouted with anger, just as the alcohol fully kicked in, “That asshole is raking in bits doing what I’m supposed to do!” “M-Mom…” Apogee spoke up hesitantly as her mother raised the bottle again, taking swig after swig after swig. “You … you really shouldn’t drink this much. Dad always says-” “Oh shut up!” it burst out of the drunk mare as she finally lowered the bottle, “All I’m trying to do is live my motherfucking life, alright? So don’t tell me what to do!” Gradually, her shout faded away, and the silence that followed was so oppressing it almost seemed to take the two ponies’ breath away. Eventually, it was Apogee who broke the silence. Looking up at her mother who was leaning over the counter, breathing heavily from her outburst, she softly shook her head and timidly muttered, “I’m … I’m sorry, mom. I’ll let you live your … your mother-effing life now.” Slowly, she turned around, and stepped through the door out into the night. “Apogee, wait.” Delta Vee slurred, barely conscious due to the overload of alcohol now in her system, “I … I didn’t mean to…” she cut herself off, forcing her eyes shut. Her vision was blurring, and she had trouble keeping in touch with reality, let alone standing on her own legs. “Shit!” she cussed loudly, slamming her hoof against the countertop, making the bottle jump and almost fall off. “Fucking shit!” She raised her hoof again to slam it against the counter a second time, but this time it seemed her body wasn’t ready to handle the sudden shift of weight, and she had to watch more or less helplessly as her drunk body toppled over and fell, landing on the wooden floor with a thud. Again, Delta Vee pinched her eyes shut, hissing a colorful curse as pain spread over the spot where her head had hit the floor. What was she doing wrong!? Seriously, all she wanted to do was have some quick, meaningless fun in the shabby little caravan she called her home with this random city-colt she had picked up in the shady bar she spent most of her time in. She had already lowered her sights this much, and now she couldn’t even attain a goal that simple? Was she really this incapable? The pegasus gave a low growl as she tried to get back to her hooves, but in her thoroughly intoxicated state, she couldn’t even lift her head anymore. With another curse, she let her eyes drift shut, hearing her daughter’s words resound in her head, asking her why she always was so negative. Hell, what kind of a question was that? She was forty-two years old and living on a Celestia-damned junkyard! If that wasn’t enough, how about the fact that, at least compared to her ex-husband, she was essentially piss-poor, and relying on simple, stupid jobs to bring in some money? Or the fact that she had –or at least used to have- the potential to become a renowned –and appropriately well-paid- scientist, and was now living off what couldn’t be described differently than junk? She lay still for a few moments, feeling the world spin behind her closed eyes as her daughter’s question echoed in her mind again and again. Why was she always so negative? And more importantly, when had she become so negative? That … that prompted a thought ... a question, rather. When was the last time she had felt genuinely happy? Her head swam again, the question now sending an avalanche of mental pictures and memories through her mind – memories of a better; a happier time. She gave a soft groan as she could feel herself drift away. While the excessive alcohol prevented her mind from thinking straight thoughts, it made it easy for her mind’s eye to produce image, after image, after image. She saw herself in her foalhood; in school, then as a student ... and then the day she had met him. Gradually, the images in her head began moving - blurry and vague at first, but getting clearer by the second. Eventually, along with the moving images came sound, and before she knew it, she was back in the diner; back in better times; back with … with him. “And if we can keep the speed of re-entry below fourteen-thousand knots, we should be able to- … oh wow.” It was an overcast day in early winter. Ponies in thick clothing filled the streets, walking past the large window of the diner where two pegasus ponies were sitting in a stall opposite to each other, a notepad filled with scribbles and diagrams of all sorts spread out on the table between them. One of them, a light beige stallion in his mid-twenties in a thick, turquoise turtleneck sweater had just looked up from the notes he had drawn out, his look going out the window where the first flakes of this year’s snow had just begun fluttering from the sky. Sitting opposite to him, looking at his eyes widening with pleasant surprise, was a young pegasus mare, roughly at his age. Watching his reaction with a slightly amused smile, she adjusted the large, black-rimmed glasses sitting atop her muzzle. Sure, watching the first snow outside was tempting, but why look outside if she had all she wanted to see sitting right here in front of her? “It’s quite early for snow, isn’t it?” Jet Stream noted, raising an eyebrow, keeping his look focused on the slowly whitening world outside. “Sure is.” Delta Vee said a bit sheepishly, her red eyes never leaving the pony opposite to her. She ran a hoof over the white button-up shirt that covered her chest, secretly hoping it didn’t look too messed-up after the long night of studying that lay behind her. True, one could think that keeping a white shirt clean and neat was no rocket science, but … well, keeping a white shirt clean and neat while studying rocket science - that was something entirely different. For a moment, there was nothing but silence as she looked at him staring out the window. It had something … mesmerizing to it, really. The way he looked at the ponies passing by; the way his look went up to the sky where snowflakes kept falling; the way he … slowly turned his head back and looked at her. It took her a few seconds to notice that his attention had shifted back to her … and that he was looking her right in the eyes! She gasped, feeling her cheeks turn red ever so slightly. What … what was this? She wasn’t in High School anymore! She wasn’t a teenager anymore! So why was she … why was she crushing on this stallion so hard!? The eye contact lasted for a few silent moments, each of them feeling like a full hour to her. However, eventually, Jet Stream broke the eye contact with a polite cough, looking away from her and directing his gaze back at the notepad in front of him. “Ahem, anyway…” he said, briefly shaking his head, “As I was saying … if we can reduce the…” he looked up again to see if his dialog partner was still following him, “The … the speed of re … re-entry below…” gradually, their eyes came to rest on each other’s again, and Jet Stream found himself more and more lost, “Below fourteen … fourteen…” He slowly fell silent, his eyes never leaving those of his partner. For a second, he remained like this, then shook his head and gave her an excusing smile, “Uh, sorry, I lost that train of thought.” At that, Delta Vee just smirked, keeping the eye contact. “It’s alright.” She said gently, slowly reaching out a hoof and leading it to the notepad, “How about we…” she gently nudged the notepad shut, “Call it a day … and go for a walk instead?” “I…” Jet Stream stuttered, dumbfounded for just a second, but then looked outside again, then back at the mare opposite to him, and gradually, a smile grew on his face as well. “Sure, why not? Some fresh air can't hurt.” A few minutes later, the two ponies were walking through the slowly whitening park of Las Pegasus. Snow, especially in late November, was quite a rarity for a city as warm and dry as Las Pegasus, and the unexpected snow seemed to improve the general mood in the population – everywhere around them, ponies seemed genuinely happy. Foals were playing in the slowly growing layer of snow, couples were walking next to each other, and in between all were the two of them, walking side by side like … like a couple themselves. “Whew.” Jet Stream said, taking in a deep breath of the icy air, and ruffling up his feathers underneath the thin, sporty jacket he was wearing. “Sure is colder than I thought.” His look went over to the mare by his side, “Are you alright?” “Sure am.” Delta Vee replied with a coy grin, keeping her eyes on him for longer than what would have been normal for most other ponies. Finally, her look broke loose from Jet Stream for just a second, as she looked around, watching the world around her turn white, with snow landing on the trees, the grass, and the nearby benches. “The snow is beautiful.” she noted softly. Jet Stream turned his head to look at her, then a grin formed on his face as he straightened himself up, put on a mushy face and, in an exaggerated romantic tone, said “Not as beautiful as you, sweetheart.” Delta remained silent at that for a moment, looking at him with a slightly confused face, not entirely sure what to make of that. Jet Stream managed to keep the straight, semi-seductive face for a few moments, before his face broke into a grin and he gave a soft chuckle. “Sorry. But that’s what you wanted to hear, wasn’t it?” Finally, her face relaxed as well, and she joined him for a short, easy laugh. “You’re a dork, you know that?” she said, giving him a soft punch on his shoulder. “I know.” Jet Stream said with a light-hearted shrug, “You can always step back from our deal if I’m too big a dork for you to work with.” “No!” Delta replied a little too quickly, her eyes widening abruptly. “I-I mean…” she muttered, attempting to play her outburst down, “You … you have a really promising idea, and I’m sure we can achieve something great if we work together as a couple.” Again, her eyes widened, her face reddening ever so slightly, “I-I mean as partners! That’s what I wanted to say! Y-you and me … as partners. Scientific partners!” The stallion in the turquoise sweater looked at her in silence for a few seconds, that slim grin adorning his face. For a moment, Delta was worried he might be about to break out into laughter at her being so stupidly incapable of speaking properly, but her worries were blown away as he gave a brief, not-so-forced chuckle and nodded his head. “Sure, partner.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows at that last part in a way that caused Delta’s legs to get all wobbly. “Whatever you say.” “I-I … h-hehe, yeah.” Delta struggled to reply, tripping over her own words. It was beyond her why she was feeling so funny with this buck around. She normally was a rather sober, smart and straightforward mare, and while she had had the one or other crush over time, no stallion had managed to turn her head quite like Jet Stream did. Really, no matter how she looked at it, everything about him just seemed so … entrancing. The way he talked, the way he acted, the way he laughed … and of course, the way he looked, with his –for a pegasus- well-built frame; his muscular chest, and his powerful legs that she was sure could- She had to cut herself off before her thoughts went too far below the belt. Yes, he was an attractive … a very, very attractive stallion, but the two were two scientists doing research together; business partners at best, but nothing more, right? Right. She shook her head, doing her best to clear her thoughts, yet couldn’t take her eyes off the stallion by her side. Jet Stream, who noticed her lovestruck look resting on himself, seemed flattered at first, but then gasped as he noticed the snow that had collected on Delta’s back, and how gradually, her teeth had begun to chatter. “Damn, you’re shivering.” He noticed, swiftly taking off his black jacket and throwing it over her. Delta wanted to protest at first. Sure, she was cold -having expected the two of them to spend the entire afternoon poring over their plans in the diner, she hadn’t brought a jacket- but Celestia knows she didn’t want to seem like the weak, little mare that needed the protection of a big, strong stallion. However, the protest died on her tongue as the jacket made contact with her freezing back. Not only that it was pleasantly warm from his body heat … she took in a deep breath -which she noticed only in retrospect looked a tad bit creepy … it also smelled like him. A fact that promptly sent a slightly muddled smile to her face, and caused her legs to go weak for all the wrong reasons. “T-thanks…” she muttered absentmindedly, her brain still overwhelmed with the fact that the scent of his aftershave was now hitting her nostrils with every breath she took. It must have been a certain little something in that mixture that caused it to smell so good to her – manly, strong, yet in no way excessive or pretentious. Just like the stallion it belonged to. Feeling her thoughts drift off, her look went back to Jet Stream who, as she noticed now, was still looking at her with a slightly bemused smile. Delta Vee could feel herself blush ever so slightly. Had he caught her taking another sniff at his jacket? This didn’t look weird, did it? She … she wasn’t a creep! But instead of being bewildered by her admittedly strange behavior, Jet Stream just took a slow step towards the now less shivering mare. “You know what, Delta?” he began, putting a hoof around her neck, and gaining a barely contained squeak of excitement from her. “I’m glad you’re in this with me. Trust me, if we can pull this off … a reusable rocket...” She could feel his body tense up in genuine excitement, “We’ve got the world in our hooves!” he declared excitedly. “The sky will be ours! Everypony is going to want a piece of that cake the two of us are about to bake!” “Uh … Uh-huh.” Delta replied meekly, still very much dumbfounded by the fact that he had his arms around her. “I mean it.” The stallion holding her continued in a more serious tone, turning his head; looking away from the sky and right into Delta Vee’s eyes. “I’m glad you’re on board - really. You and me, we’re going to change the world together.” “I, uh … of course.” She forced out. Her stupid mouth just … just didn’t seem to be working right now. “I mean, if we can pull this off, of course I’d love to-“ She was cut off. Not because she had suffered a spontaneous heart attack –an option that didn’t seem too unlikely at this point- but because Jet Stream had leaned forward and had … had kissed her. And just like that, her racing thoughts came to a screeching halt. For a brief, blissful moment, the world around them came to a standstill; the foals playing around them were suddenly gone, the noise coming from the adjacent road vanished … even the snow falling around them seemed to be motionless for just a second, and it was down to just the two of them, standing in each other's embrace, exchanging a kiss that seemed to defy the very rules of time and space. She couldn’t tell how long it lasted, but when Jet Stream finally broke the kiss and pulled away, it felt like an eternity had passed. Keeping his eyes locked with hers, he slowly retreated, gently putting a hoof on the side of her face. Then, just like that, the world around them was back again, with all its noise, snow and freezing cold. Jet Stream, finally breaking eye contact, gave a short chuckle. “Sorry.” He apologized half-seriously, “I couldn’t help it. You just looked so adorable there.” “Eeeh hehehe.” Delta replied, her cheeks still glowing red. She wanted to say something; she really did, but her brain was still in lockdown mode from what had just happened. “You know,” Jet began, undeterred by Delta’s vain attempts to speak, “How about we get something to drink later on? Hate to admit it, but I’m a bit out of practice, and I could use a bit of preparation before the graduation party this weekend.” Again, Delta found herself completely dumbfounded, and it took her way longer than what would have been normal to force out a stuttered, “Eh, s-s-sure. C-count me in.” she affirmed with a gentle smile, taking a moment to pull herself together before she added, “But … let’s take it slow, alright? I can’t really hold my drink.” She admitted a bit sheepishly. “Oh, don’t worry.” Jet Stream said with a reassuring smile, “We’ll take it slow. No pressure.” “Thanks.” She replied, genuinely grateful, as Jet Stream stretched out a wing and put it over her, and the two slowly continued their tour through the park, walking side by side like the partners … like the couple they were. Yes, that was the last memory she had of being really, genuinely happy. True to his word, Jet Stream had taken it slow that night. They had shared a drink or two, then headed home, promising to see each other again the next day. The following night, they had shared two drinks, maybe three. And by the time their graduation party rolled around the following weekend, Delta had been confident that she could take things a little … less slow. And then … Hell, the entire night was just one massive blur in her memory. She vaguely recalled beginning with a very tame Piña Colada. Then, cheered on by Jet Stream and some of his buck-friends, she had tried out her first ever shot of whiskey, followed by the punch. Oh Celestia, the punch… Everything after that was a continuous blur of colors, sweaty bodies, and above all … the smell of his aftershave. Up to this day she could still smell it whenever she thought back to this night. This subtle, yet strong and masculine musk that had drawn her in so many times, and that now merely served as a reminder of what a careless, stupid slut she had been back then. Because, before she knew it, a couple of weeks had passed; she had begun feeling sick on far too many occasions and for far too little reasons, all up to the day where she had done a pregnancy test … and received the utterly devastating message. And it had been all downhill from there. And now, sixteen years later, she was here, lying on the cold ground of her rundown caravan on the shabby junkyard she called her home, the knowledge of what had happened and what she had just done pressing down on her hazy mind like a black thundercloud. Hell, she didn’t even dare open her eyes. True, she was holding a grudge against Jet Stream – a grudge that was highly justified, at least in her opinion. However, one thing she had always sworn to herself was that she would never; never ever foist it off on Apogee. Because really, that filly was a little bundle of sunshine. She didn’t deserve to be infected by that ever-negative aura that seemed to surround Delta Vee. And now … hell, now Apogee was mad at her. And she had every reason to be. For crying out loud, was this what Delta considered being a role model? A good example for her teenage daughter!? Coming home drunk off her face with some random city-buck she had hooked up with, and who was barely older than her own daughter? Almost drinking herself into a coma and badmouthing the only pony the filly really looked up to? She cringed silently. The wooden floor underneath her was getting really, really uncomfortable. Hell, she didn’t deserve any better. She should be ashamed of herself for treating her own daughter like this! Yes, life –and to some extend her ex-husband- had screwed her over a time or two, or three, but really, dragging her ever-happy, positive, cheerful daughter down into that same hole she was in was just … plain and simply wrong! With that thought in mind, she laboriously opened her eyes. As expected, her eyes were met with the wooden ground in front of her. Her vision was still a little blurry, but not swimming nearly as badly as it had before. “I … I gotta talk to her.” Delta muttered to herself, her voice unexpectedly clear and determined. No, really. She had to find Apogee and talk this out. Knowing the filly, she was probably somewhere out in the junkyard. Altough she had gotten in trouble before, Apogee really wasn't the type of filly to simply run away in the middle of the night, no matter how much of an asshat her mother had been. Yes, she was probably just sitting on the front porch, waiting for the morning to come when Jet Stream would come to pick her up. “As soon as he’s recovered from whatever orgy he’s in right now.” A cynical voice hissed inside Delta Vee’s head, but she shook her head. Regardless of what she thought of her ex-husband, she couldn’t leave her daughter out there all night long. True, she hadn’t always exceeded at parenting, but she’d be damned if she wouldn’t at least try to be a good mother for once! With that resolution leading her, the pegasus mare slowly arose, rubbing her throbbing head, but froze as she noticed the odd, soft warmness around her lower half. She leaned forward, her eyes only slowly adjusting to the darkness, and blinked a couple of times as she saw the thick wool blanket covering her lower body. “What the…?” she muttered to herself, wondering if –at some point during her comatose sleep- she had gotten cold and snatched a blanket from her bed, but her thoughts came to a halt as her ears picked up the soft sound of breathing coming from somewhere in her vicinity. Slowly, she arose to her still shaky hooves and walked through the small room, only to stop after a few seconds in front of the source of the noise, and looking down at it. Apogee had set up a makeshift camp made of pillows and blankets, right next to where her mother had collapsed on the ground earlier. And there, the filly was now, sleeping peacefully like a little angel. Delta couldn’t help it. Even before the events that had changed her life so drastically, she had always been a rather sober and realistic mare, and especially with the way her life was right now, getting high on feelings wasn’t something she normally did, but in this second, it all just hit her too hard. Even after Delta had been acting like a royal pecker head, Apogee had come back to her; had covered her with a blanket to make sure she wouldn’t get cold, and stayed close to her – just in case. Again, the older mare couldn’t contain herself. A genuinely deep and heartfelt smile formed on her face, and she could feel tears in her eyes as she crouched down next to her daughter. She by no means wanted to wake her up, just … just be close to her. Enjoy her presence. Enjoy the fact that she was here ... with her. Delta couldn’t remember when she had last done something like this. Just being with Apogee for the sake of being close to her – it had been too long, that she could tell for certain. Carefully; gently, so as to not wake her up, she laid a wing around her daughter’s sleeping form, feeling her hear beat; her chest slowly raise and lower, and got to the ground next to her. Really, it was the least she could do after what had happened. So many times she had just shoved her daughter aside –sometimes literally, sometimes physically- and the more she thought about it, the more it felt like a miracle to her that the filly still voluntarily spent time with her mother after all this. Delta Vee let these thoughts sink in for a second, but then shook her head. Not … not anymore. She would … she would be a better parent. She would at least try! Yes, she had made mistakes, and she would make mistakes in the future, but … but she’d have to be better, at least when Apogee was around. She kept her look focused on her daughter, leaning forward to gently nuzzle her cheek. Hell, she was already sixteen now. How long until Apogee’s image of her mother would completely change from ‘She has a few issues, but she’s my mom and I love her’, to ‘Yeah, she’s that local drunkard who lives on a junkyard. I slipped out of her vagina once, but that’s just about all the contact we’ve had since then.’ Again, Delta cringed. That had stung. But it was true, wasn’t it? She held still for another moment, pondering these thoughts, but then shook her head. This … this wasn’t how her daughter saw her. Not yet at least. And she wouldn’t let it come this far! Giving another, softer sigh, she inched herself closer to the sleeping form of Apogee, her wing never leaving its position on her back. She remained like this for a second, looking at her daughter. As much as she hated to admit it, every now and then in her darker hours, she had caught herself wondering what would be if Apogee had never been born; picturing herself as the successful scientist she had always dreamt of being; seeing herself in that successful relationship with Jet Stream she had always wanted. Hell, her life would be better in a lot of ways. And still, now, just like every other time, Delta gave herself a mental slap across the face for allowing these thoughts into her head in the first place! For crying out loud, this was her daughter she was thinking about here! The greatest little filly in this world! Yes, a lot of things had gone wrong, but she’d be damned if she would even think about exchanging this little bundle of joy for the life she had always dreamt of. No, all this was just the alcohol playing tricks on her mind again. No matter what had happened, she loved her daughter, and nothing; nothing would ever change that! With that thought in mind, she lowered her glance, looking down at Apogee’s sleeping form again, and as if by command, she watched the thinnest, cutest of smiles form on her daughter's face. Celestia knows what she was dreaming of in this second. Or ... well, Luna would be more likely to know, actually. But in any case, she was there, being close to her mother because she wanted to. And that, Delta thought to herself, was something she could be proud of at last. “I’m sorry, sweetie.” She apologized softly, leaning in and giving her a gentle peck on the cheek. “Mom loves you. I hope you know that.” With that, she lowered her head as well, coming to rest on the ground right next to her daughter. True, the wooden floor was far from comfortable, but her being still slightly drunk made it easier to find rest, and even if not, being close to her daughter was what counted for her in this second. If a stiff neck the next morning was what it took to get just that, then so be it. She took in another breath, feeling how her body slowly sobered up, then closed her eyes as well. Celestia knows there were plenty of things to talk about tomorrow. Delta Vee could already feel her thoughts drift off, sleep driven by alcohol wash over her, but felt her ears perk up as she felt the gentle, barely noticeable touch of a small hoof resting against her back. “I know, mom.” The soft, muffled voice of her daughter broke the total silence of the night for one last time, “I love you too.” Whether the feeling of Apogee’s hoof on her back, and her voice giving her reassurance were real, or just induced by the alcohol and whatever else she had thrown in back at the bar, Delta didn’t know. However, she did know that these words filled her with a sudden happiness … with a sudden pride she hadn’t felt in quite a while now. And with that feeling on her mind, for the first time in weeks, she could feel herself crack the thinnest of smiles, as she finally drifted off to sleep as well, side by side with the only pony that truly mattered to her in this world. Because she loved her daughter. And nothing would ever change that. > Washed Away > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a warm summer evening in the outskirts of Las Pegasus. The sun had set about an hour ago, and the last beams of light were just about to vanish. The nightly silence got broken for a second by the sound of a door getting opened and a light yellow pegasus stepping out of the caravan standing in a corner of the fenced property with a resigned huff. Apogee heard the door fall shut behind her as she looked up, standing at the top end of the small set of stairs. “Apogee, wait.” She could hear the slurred voice of her mother coming from inside, followed by a slurred curse. The filly shook her head. Her mother had unmistakably told her to let her live her mother-effing life, so that’s what Apogee was going to do. Biting her lip, she lowered her head and carefully walked down the stairs. Knowing her mother, she’d probably fall asleep shortly, leaving her daughter with some downtime until her dad would come to pick her up in the morning. She felt a smile cross her face as she thought of Jet Stream. Her dad. The coolest, most awesome stallion in all of Las Pegasus. At least, that’s what she thought. Her smile vanished as her mother’s words from before echoed in her mind again. She knew that the two didn’t have the highest opinions of each other, but Jet Stream seemed to always do his best to be as objective about his ex’s antics as possible, and not influence his daughter’s image of her mother in a negative way. Delta, however… well, she hadn’t physically attacked Jet Stream when Apogee was around, so… that was something, right? Apogee frowned. She tried not to think too much about it, but she had to admit that sometimes she envied those ponies in her class whose parents were still together, maybe even married. Really, what she’d give to be a part of a normal, functional family, if only for a day. Her frown deepened as she walked down the stairs. Stupid parents and their stupid problems. Why couldn’t they just talk about it like normal ponies did? Just sit together over a coffee and talk things out! Really, this was no rocket science! At least Jet seemed ready to talk about those kinds of things, but whenever Apogee would bring up the subject of Jet around her mother, she’d just throw a giant hissyfit and drink herself nearly unconscious. Why couldn’t she just make amends with him already!? Hell, Celestia knows Apogee’s life would be a lot more pleasant if her parents wouldn’t be so beefy with each other all the time. Apogee rolled her eyes as she approached the bottom end of the stairs and took a step forward. Yeah, as if- She had stepped into something. Something warm. It was by then that the smell hit her like a punch to the nose; she screwed up her face and hastily pulled her hoof back. Yeah, that stallion her mother had dragged here. Just another one of many looking for a good time with not the prettiest, not the youngest, but … well, whichever category her mother fell under. Briefly, she looked around, wondering where he had gone, and spotted him lying next to the puddle she had just stepped into, snoring loudly, probably knocked out until the morning would come. Now that whatever he had come here for certainly wasn’t happening with the state Delta was in, he sure wouldn’t be missing anything. It wasn’t long before Apogee’s attention was directed back at her hoof and she made a face, quickly trying to get off whatever it was with a few quick flicks. As flicking her hoof didn’t work, she tried rubbing it against the dusty ground, disgust overwhelming her mind and only adding to her anger and frustration about the general situation. Why did her mother have to drag this pony here!? Why did he have to puke right there!? For crying out loud, at least those prostitutes Jet Stream ordered didn’t make such a huge mess! Of course, Delta probably wouldn’t have dragged him here had she known about her daughter sitting here and waiting for her, full of expectation. No, had she known about Apogee being here, she would have probably come back sooner, rolled her eyes a couple of times, insulted Apogee’s dad a time or two, and then eventually just gotten wasted while Apogee was sitting there, watching potato ponies and pretending that everything was fine. Really, wasn’t this how their shared evenings normally went? Apogee could feel her anger rise the more she thought about it. Seriously, whenever Apogee was around, Delta just made her feel like an additional weight on her back. When was the last time Delta had acted like a real mother towards her? Her face scrunched up with frustration as she actually caught herself contemplating that question for a second… but ultimately came up empty. “Damnit!” she finally shouted out her anger, stomping her hoof in frustration and missing the puddle of stomach-contents by only an inch. Her head shot back, eyes darting over to the caravan behind her where she knew her unconscious mother was lying in an almost-comatose state she herself had induced for the pettiest reasons. She could feel tears of frustration forming in her eyes as the images of her mother downing whatever alcohol she had managed to snitch now went past her mind’s eye again and again. This… this wasn’t what a mother was supposed to be like! This wasn’t how all the other moms she knew were! Moms were supposed to be a role model! A good example for their foals! Not drinking themselves half-dead because they were oh-so-unhappy with how things were in their life. This… this just wasn’t right! She could feel a guttural growl escape her throat as she lowered her head, all the times Delta had been annoyed or bothered by Apogee’s mere existence flashing past her mind’s eye. Then, suddenly, she could feel anger overwhelm her as her head shot upward, her increasingly wet eyes focusing on the door in front of her, and she shouted out her frustration. “Why can’t you be a normal mom for once!? Just once!?” she yelled on top of her lungs, a little part of her anger finally being set free. She knew all too well that her mother couldn’t hear her, but damn if it didn’t feel relieving nonetheless. “Just act like a normal mare instead of being the local antisocial drunkard!” she continued venting her anger, “Quit doing this to yourself! Just man up, go to see Dad and-“ she caught herself off mid-sentence, well-knowing how the two of them meeting would end. Namely, playing the blame game, followed by below-the-belt insults being thrown around, followed by one of them furiously storming out. She paused for a second, feeling anger boil inside her, then let out another curse. “Shit!” She raised a hoof, slamming it against the ground in front of her hooves, hard. What she didn’t consider was the bile-puddle still in front of the stairs in all its slipperiness. Her hoof slipped away, the momentum from her punch causing her to lose balance and topple over forward.  Instinctively, her wings spread out in an attempt to stabilize herself, but before she knew it, she was lying face-first in that abhorrent mixture of alcohol, bar-snacks and stomach acid. Really, it took all of her self-control to not add something to that puddle herself. Retching, dry heaving, and shivering with disgust, Apogee slowly arose from the puddle, wiping a hoof over her face. She made it about halfway up before her legs gave out on her and she collapsed with a heavy sigh, rolling to the side to keep herself from landing in the vile puddle again. She didn’t want this anymore. None of this. Really, Jet Stream couldn’t come soon enough to release her from this… whatever it was. Of course, she could just go back inside, take a shower and sleep in her mother’s bed –nothing she hadn’t done before, really- but… well, then she’d have to go in there and look at her again; see her lying on the ground unconscious. It wasn’t a situation anypony enjoyed seeing their mother in. Another sigh escaped her lips as a question she had asked herself earlier now began to resurface. When was the last time Delta had been a real mom to Apogee? Not just a makeshift caretaker while Jet Stream was away, but a real, genuine mom. That thought caused her to reflect again, her thoughts drifting off. Yes, as hard to believe as it was, there were certain situations in the past where it really had felt like Delta was at least something remotely comparable to a mother. In fact, there was one memory from not too long ago, arguably the last ever positive memory Apogee had of her mother at this stage. It was a sunny afternoon in early spring, a good four years ago. Delta Vee had just finished her daily workload -which, throughout the past months, had consisted of not much more than walking around the premises of her junkyard and checking if the junk hadn’t suddenly moved by itself- and was now ready to spend the rest of the day on her steamer chair in front of her caravan. She had just laid down, sunglasses covering her eyes, and a nice, full glass of ice tea -with just a relatively small side of alcohol (she was feeling good today)- standing ready on the ground next to her. She was already about to close her eyes and drift away when two shadows flying over her and blocking out the sun for a second caused her to startle ever so slightly. Lifting up her sunglasses and blinking a couple of times, she could make out the vague shape of two ponies landing in a fair distance from her, although she already knew all too well who the unexpected visitors were. Two ponies visiting her at this time with no invitation. That could only mean two things. Either somepony she owed money had once again hired a pair of thugs, or the less desirable option… “Hey Delta.” the awfully familiar voice of her ex-coltfriend caused her to cringe even before she saw him. She knew where this was going. He had only said two words, and already she knew just what the ‘problem’ was. Namely, that Jet Stream wanted to go to a strip club in Las Pegasus and had to offload their daughter onto Delta for the night. Of course, he’d never openly admit that, and since she wasn’t in the mood for another argument, she merely rolled her eyes, using the most common term Jet normally used for his ‘business’. “Meeting?” she asked dryly, raising an eyebrow. “Good to see you too.” Jet Stream replied with a roll of his eyes and a slightly annoyed huff as he came closer. “But yes, one of our planes had some technical difficulties over in Manehattan. Something about an endangered bird being sucked into an engine or something. And now they’ve called in a crisis committee. Hate to ask you again, but could you take care of Apogee for the day?” “Yeah yeah, whatever.” Delta said with a roll of her eyes, “Go and have fun with your hookers.” Jet’s face turned red, though it wasn’t clear whether it was with anger or with embarrassment. “T-that’s not-” “H-hey, mom.” He was cut short as the filly in question came walking from behind her father and walked up to her mother. Delta’s frown deepened noticeably as she saw her - pale face, teary eyes, running nose… this didn’t bode too well. “Apogee’s a bit sick, so please be careful around her.” Jet explained, sounding genuinely concerned for a moment. His look went to the watch he was wearing around his hoof, and he shook his head, turning around on the spot. “S-sorry, but I really gotta go. Get well soon, sweetie.” “Bye, dad.” Apogee said over her shoulder as she sniffled, closing in on her mother. “How you doing, mom?” she asked with a slightly muddled smile as Jet Stream departed, leaning over her mother to give her a hug and resting her head on her shoulder. “It’s great to see you a- a-” Instinctively, Delta forced her eyes shut as she felt her daughter’s body tense up. A-choo! “Oh, uh… s-sorry, mom.” Apogee said a bit sheepishly as she pulled back, rubbing her nose. “It’s… fine, dear.” Her mother replied, only slightly annoyed. She’d have to shower later to clean that snot off her back. “So, what are we gonna do?” Apogee asked in her usual excited manner, but then hesitated, sniffling again, “I, uh… I… don’t really feel too good today.” “No shit, kiddo.” Delta grumbled, still a little bummed about the unexpected turn of events. She thought for a second, then came to a conclusion. “Come on, let’s get you inside.” “O-okay, mom. I guess you’re right.” That caused the cyan mare to stop for a moment, turning back to look at her daughter with an intent stare. Had she… had she really just voluntarily agreed to spending the day inside? The filly sniffed again, wiping her nose with a hoof. “I don’t really feel like… doing anything today.” Delta’s eyes widened with worry. Well, that was… unexpected. Either her daughter had been replaced by a changeling, or she really was feeling exceptionally bad. Well, as it turned out, she was. A few minutes later, Apogee was lying in her mother’s bed, blanket pulled all the way up to her chin, yet still shivering. Fever was dampening her perception, but she could hear her mother walking up and down in her caravan’s main room, muttering to herself. The filly forced her eyes shut, pressing her aching head into the pillow. She knew exactly what was going on, and she knew exactly how her mother felt. Delta had planned to have a relaxed day full of lying around and doing nothing, maybe going out in the evening to… see some friends or whatever it was she did when she was out for so long. Apogee didn’t really want to think about it. But, well… now Delta had Apogee to take care of - all of her carefully-made plans, ruined because the filly was ill. Really, it made Apogee sick at heart, being such a burden to her mother. If at least she were healthy, she could help her mom with things around the junkyard, but in her current state… She shivered, feeling her eyes drifting shut for far longer than what would have been normal. When she opened them again, she saw her mother in the doorframe leading to her bedroom, eyeing her with a mostly deadpan expression. “I’ll be out for a bit, kid.” Delta Vee explained, a little bluntly, “Don’t leave the bed, will you?” “S-sure… mom.” Apogee replied, blinking the dampness out of her teary eyes and sniffling her nose again. Well, that worked too. Delta probably was going to a bar to have some fun now. At least… well, at least she didn’t let her sick daughter box her in. Really, the last thing Apogee wanted was to be a burden to her mother. “Ha- have fun, mom.” Apogee muttered into the nothingness as her head dropped back against the pillow, “Sorry for blocking your bed by the way. Just let me know when you need it. I’ll move.” Gradually, she felt herself drifting off, but caught sight of her mother looking back at her for a moment and slowly shaking her head with a… strange look on her face. Apogee couldn’t tell if it was concern or disapproval before her sickness caught up with her again. The filly felt her eyes drift shut, giving a soft sigh. Really, the last thing she wanted was to limit her mom in any way, but… still, sometimes it would be great if Delta would be there for her a little more often. Just… a little more. By all means, this wasn’t the first time her mother had left her home alone. Really, Delta parking Apogee in front of the television and then taking off to get drunk and hook up with random strangers was a rather common occurrence, especially in recent years, so the turn of events didn’t really surprise her. Although… heck, she didn’t know. She would really prefer if her mother would stay with her just this once… or at least not come home drunk off her face and snore like she normally did. Apogee normally didn’t care too much about being kept awake by those kinds of noises, but especially now the thought of lying awake at night with her pounding headache and swimming vision, listening to her mother snoring -or even worse, doing that thing- next door just made her feel all the more miserable. She remained silent for a moment, letting these thoughts circle in her head, then mouthed a quiet ‘oh well’ to herself. It’d be selfish of her to expect her mom to change her lifestyle, really. Apogee must have fallen asleep shortly after, as she didn’t remember what happened afterwards, and was only snapped back into reality as something awfully, awfully cold touched her forehead, causing her to wake up with a startled gasp. “Shhh… just relax.” It took her a moment to come around. She opened her eyes, but was blinded by the light coming from outside, rendering her sightless for a moment or two. While she was quick to recognize the familiar voice of her mother, it sounded… way different from how she had come to know it. While it still had its raspy undertone, it sounded… awfully soft; gentle, and caring. When Apogee finally managed to open her eyes again, she found herself looking back into those of her mother, who was sitting on the bed beside her, leaning over her and gently pressing a washcloth soaked with cold water against her daughter’s hot forehead. “M-mom?” she asked, visibly confused, raising an eyebrow. “Why… why are you back already? Was the bar closed?” While Apogee didn’t notice it in her fevery state, there was a frown flashing over her mother’s face in that moment at the suspicion that this was the first place her daughter would expect her to go to. But she quickly shook her head, directing her attention back at the washcloth on Apogee’s forehead. “N-no, sweetie.” she said, her voice still sounding so… oddly soft. “I just flew to the store real quick. You’ve got a pretty bad fever.” Delta leaned back, reaching behind herself and lifting up a white plastic bag with her muzzle. “I got some meds and a bit of broth.” she said, presenting her loot to her daughter and cracking a thin smile as she added, “That’ll have you back on your legs in no time. Hell, you’ll be kicking flank better than before!” “T-thanks… mom.” Apogee said, a little perplexed. “I… I promise I’ll try to get healthy again as soon as possible. D-don’t wanna burden you for too long.” “Cut it out.” her mother retorted, gently, but with a motherly assertiveness. “You’re not gonna walk out of here until you’re ready to kick the world’s flank again.” Despite her sorry state, that prompted a soft giggle from the sick filly. “It’s okay, mom. I’ll manage.” Wanting to prove to Delta just how fit she was feeling, she wanted to sit up in the bed, but was promptly stopped by a cyan hoof placed firmly on her chest. “Nuh-uh.” Delta stopped her again, using that motherly, authoritative tone that still sounded so bewildering to Apogee as she slowly shook her head and gently pushed her back down. “You’ll stay right here.” “But mom-” “Hush.” she cut her off softly, “I’m here with you, okay? We’ll get you back to your hooves again in no time, so don’t worry.” Apogee opened her mouth to protest, but then cut herself off. She couldn’t quite explain it. Somehow… well, there was something in that look her mother gave her. A certain kind of… reassurance, really. It showed her that… well, that Delta knew. She knew that her daughter was feeling utterly miserable. She knew that Apogee couldn’t fool her into thinking otherwise. Yet at the same time, it showed Apogee all too clearly that she wasn’t alone. That Delta was here with her, taking care of her, and genuinely caring about her. Really, it wasn’t a look Apogee saw too often on her mother, but in this second it answered all of her questions, and cleared out all of her doubts at once. And really, she felt a deeply rooted feeling of safety; of a security and a comfort she had never quite felt before as her mother leaned forward, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Just trust your mom for once, alright?” Apogee lay still for another few moments as the memory faded away. She… really didn’t quite know how to feel right now. On one hand, there was the fact that she was lying on the cold, dirty ground, covered in bile, all thanks to her mother’s apparent carelessness. On the other hand, just thinking back to that day… it served to remind her of something. Namely, that her mother could care; that she was capable of being this caring, loving, gentle pony if necessary. And essentially, it made her realize once again that, despite how she tended to act normally, her mother did care. Maybe she didn’t care all the time, and maybe she did have difficulties showing it most of the time, but… the realization that she would drop and leave everything when she’d realize that her daughter really was in need of help… it brought her solace. More importantly, it made her realize something: her mother wasn’t perfect. Well, that wasn’t really anything new to her. What was new to her, however, was the reminder that her mother was actually trying. Trying to be the mother she knew she should be; trying to be as much as a role model to her teenage daughter as she could be… hell, trying to be a better pony, if nothing else. Apogee could feel her face lighten up as she thought of other occasions where her mother had, albeit subtly, shown her daughter that she did care about her - smaller presents, helping her with her homework when she could, or just… just being there for her. Listening to her worries, offering her a shoulder to cry on, gossiping about the bullies in school... Admittedly, all these things depended on her mother’s mood and daily form, and were by no means a common occurrence, but rare as they were, they did serve as a reminder that, once again, her mother did care. She had always cared, and she would always care. Even if she sometimes had a hard time showing it. With these thoughts in mind, the filly got back to her hooves, and shook herself like a dog to at least get some parts of the nauseating coating out of her fur. She raised her head as she walked over to the caravan’s door, her face lighting up ever so slightly. There was something she knew she could do to show her mother that she appreciated it all; that she appreciated the times Delta had been there for her - scarce as they might have been. A good ten minutes later, a freshly showered -and still slightly fluffy- Apogee came walking from Delta Vee’s bedroom, carrying in her muzzle a thick, black -and slightly odd-smelling- wool blanket. Slowly, quietly, she walked over to where her mother was lying on the ground in the middle of her living room where she had presumably passed out before, snoring loudly in her alcohol-induced sleep. Looking down at her mother’s sleeping form, Apogee couldn’t contain the thinnest of smiles forming on her face. When disregarding the fact that she had passed out from excessive alcohol consumption, she almost looked… cute, lying there. Shaking her head, she gave a brief sigh, leaning forward and pulling the blanket over her mother, covering her body all the way up to her neck. She could feel the cyan mare give a soft twitch as the wool touched her wings, and gave a gentle snicker in return. Done with her work, Apogee remained standing in front of her mother for a moment or two, looking at her in silence. Really, it was a small gesture, but Apogee was sure Delta would appreciate the thought - at least, she hoped so. In any case, she was sure there was some talking to do the next morning - if anything, she was looking forward to spending a day with her mom, no matter what that might end up being about. She’d just have to be careful not to be too loud - if there’s one thing she had learned from her mother, it was that whiskey caused some of the worst hangovers out there. The filly chuckled softly to herself, then leaned forward, gently nuzzling her mother’s cheek. “Good night, mom.” she whispered softly, “Just… don’t give up, alright? I know you’re trying to do better, and I know you can do it. … I believe in you.” With that, she pulled back, letting her gaze linger on Delta for another moment, before walking over to where she had set up a small pile of blankets and pillows for herself to sleep on. Of course, she could just go for the more comfortable option and crash in her mother’s bed like she normally did when Delta was out getting drunk, but… really, in this moment, all she wanted to do was be close to her mom. Maybe it’d show Delta that Apogee still hadn’t given up on her; that she still believed in her mother; and was convinced that she was a good pony deep down. With these thoughts in mind, Apogee felt herself smiling again as she lowered herself onto her makeshift bed. She looked over to her mother again, feeling her body relax, then closed her eyes. Yes, her family wasn’t perfect; her mother even less so. But she still wouldn’t trade them for the world.