> My Little RPG > by Flash Notion > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Session 1, Part 1; The Groundwork > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ponies the RPG Session 1 transcript. Part 1 of 3 Recording starts. “Is it working? Are we recording?” “I think so...” “Move over, you're in my elbow room.” “Can somebody lend me some dice, I left mine at home.” “Ouch! Really, Bee?” “I'm sorry, Ray, but we can't all wear our hair as short as yours.” “You could.” “Yeah!” “D-Diane! Please put the scissors down!” “Pfft. Party pooper.” (door opens) “Okay, okay. Everyone calm down.” (shuffling) (scraping noises) … “Is that a digital recorder?” “Uh-huh.” … “Why?” “I thought it would be fun.” (deep inhale) “Ooookay. Look, we're starting a new campaign today. Everybody got their character sheets?” “Uh-huh.” “Yep!” “Oh yeah.” “Okay, so everyone's good.” “Um- I forgot my dice.” “Crap. Who can lend Fleur some dice?” “I've got an extra set.” “Prepared as ever, Tyra. Are we good now?” “I think so.” “Great. Lets go around the table and introduce our characters. Sadie, you start.” “Okay, so, I'm a young dragonborn, but my egg was taken and I wasn't hatched until I was in the regular world, so now I'm, I dunno, servant class or something.” … “What kind of breath?” “It teleports small objects.” “What, like rocks?” “Um- I guess?” “Right. Sounds okay.” “I'm a mage-type.” “Tyra, you were a mage last time.” “Your point?” … “Okay, but if you achieve god-hood again, I'm switching out. You'll be the DM, and I'll play my character.” “What character?” “I'm not telling.” “Hrumph. Well, my mage has been studying magic her whole life, and doesn't really get people. She's kind of got a 'must save the world' complex.” … “Yeah, I'm gonna have to nerf that.” “What? How?” “Hmm. How about... how about if, every turn, I roll a d10 to see if you get inflicted by bouts of incompetency?” “Lemme guess, and then I have to roll to see how bad it is?” “Only if I come up zeroes.” “Ooh, ooh! I've read this story before-” “Shut it, Diane.” “Nyeah!” “Can we please act our ages?” … “What about it, Tyra?” (grumbling) “Okay, sure.” “Me next!” “Um-I think it's my turn.” “Go ahead, Fleur.” “My, um, character, is very shy.” … “Okay...” “And, um, she really likes animals...” … “Anything else?” … “Okay, Bella, you're up.” “Gladly. My character runs a fashion empire! She started-” This part of the session will be cut out, as Bella spent a long time describing the life of her character. More than half an hour. A break was called. The group ordered a pizza. Much later: “-And now she and her wondrous clothing are recognized world-wide!” … … “Yeah, I'm not writing all that down.” “Oh, come on!” “What? That was like, fifty pages of material.” “But- but-” “I'm not doing that.” “You must.” “No.” “Ah, come on, Suri. It was a pretty good backstory.” “It was practically a novel. Plus, it would make her character way older than most of the others. I'm all for party differences, but I was kind of hoping to make all your characters be friends.” “My character doesn't have time for friends. She's too busy studying.” “Dammit, Tyra, it's called character development!” … (grumbling) “Sorry. Look, Bella, appreciate all the thought. But can we, I dunno, cut it down? Or maybe just pick a spot earlier on in her life to make the 'present'?” “I suppose...” “There was this part in here where she was working in a small town-” “Thanks, Abby. That sounds like a great spot.” “Now is it my turn?” (sigh) “Yes, Diane.” “Great! So, close your eyes. Look deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep into your mind. Picture this:” … “I'm a baker.” … … “Seriously?” “Whaaaaat?” “Come on guys, I can't do all the work.” … “What if she's a clown?” “Oh, my. Clowns are scary.” “No way, they go to birthday parties and stuff. That can be her thing. She bakes for parties, and then crashes the parties or something.” “That sounds fun!” “What if she plans the parties?” “A party-planning baker-clown?” “I love it!” “Fine. Just- Abby?” “I'm a farmer, and I live outside of the town. Me and my siblings live with our grandma. And I've got a big family. One of those that's spread all over the place and goes back ages.” “Sounds great. How many siblings?” “Uh- A brother and a sister, I guess. One of each sounds good. Like our parents loved each other, but weren't a couple a horn-dogs.” “You said 'were'. Are your parents dead?” … “Let's leave that open.” “Right. That just leaves- Ray?” “Saving the best for last?” “I'd like to play the game today...” “Fine. I'm a flier. I'm the fastest around, and I'm in charge of the magical weather.” “Hang on- the fastest. That would mean a possibly infinitely high speed stat. You can't do that.” … “Gimme the dice.” “Shit.” “Gimme.” (shuffling) (dice rolled on table) “Ha!” “No way!” “Holy crap!” “Amazing.” … “Okay. Whatever dice-god you bribed, it's working.” When asked about the incident, Suri declared that Rayanna had thrown three nat 20's at once. This scribe remains skeptical, but there is no evidence to refute the claim. “So, the fastest flier.” “Oh yeah. Hang on- check the rulebook. Isn't there some legend about fliers with superspeed?” … “Yes...” “I want-” “Fine! But that's for later. Is there anything else to add before we start the story?” “I'm trying to join this elite flying squadron. Only the best of the best can join.” “And why isn't your character in it yet, Miss Fastest Flier?” “Because you wouldn't allow it for one.” “Damn right!” … “And for two, my character's still pretty young. I'd say maybe even the youngest here.” … “Fair enough. Okay, I think we're ready to start. Let's roll for play order and-” “Whoops!” “Tyra, what- Oh.” “Sorry.” “Shit, can she re-roll?” “No.” “I'm sorry.” “Again?” “Darn it!” “I believe I should have a chance at being the main character.” “Sorry, guys. But she rolled it fair and square. Okay, Tyra- Twilight. Looks like you're our protagonist.” … (shuffling) … … “Okay. Everyone ready?” (noises of affirmation) “Okay. So, our story begins...” Transcript interrupted. The scribe requires a break. > Session 1, Part 2; Making Friends > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ponies the RPG Session 1 transcript. Part 2 of 3 Transcript resumed. “Our story begins with Twilight. She's reading an ancient tome of mystical knowledge in the garden of the main palace. It details a legend about the two royal sisters- how the youngest gave in to jealousy and anger, and became bent on conquest. As the evil Nightmare Moon, she attacked her older sister, only to be defeated using these ancient artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony.” “Pfft!” … “What?” “Nothing.” “Ray!” … “It's just- that name is lame.” “The Elements of Harmony?” “Yeah!” … “I liked it...” … “Er- I think it's nice.” … “I suppose it is a welcome change from 'Korthogg the Blood Slayer' and stuff like that.” “Tyra, your last character was literally named 'Hellfucker'.” “That was an awesome name!” “Ray!” It is here the scribe wishes to remind audiences that a PG-13 movie is allowed one full usage of the F-word before rating 'R'. This story is rated Teen, and should be allowed one curse such as that before becoming 'Mature'. All future examples shall be replaced with the word 'hug' instead. Actual examples of the word hug shall remain unchanged. “Can I just get back to the story?” “I'd like that.” “Okay. For Fleur's sake.” “Fine.” “Right. So the older princess of the sun used the Elements of Harmony to kick her little sister's arse and then banished her to the moon. Forever. “Twilight finishes reading-” “Hmm. The Elements sound like something I'd have come across in my past research.” “Roll a mental check.” (dice roll) “12? You can remember hearing about the Elements, but you can't remember where.” “I rush back to my lab to try and figure out where I heard about the Elements.” “On your way, you run into a couple of old friends. They try to tell you about a party-” “I ignore them and head for my lab.” “Oh- all right. Um-” (shuffling papers) “Your lab is also a library. Inside, your assistant, Sadie- Spike the Dragonborn- has just finished tidying up.” “I rush in and call out for her- him.” “The door hits Spike. Roll for potential damage.” “One.” “Lucky. Dragons are tough. Spike is only slightly dazed, though the present he was carrying has been ruined.” “Present?” “For the party. It's... not important.” “Okay. I search the library for information on the Elements of Harmony.” “Roll.” “Eight.” “No dice- er, so to speak. Spike?” (dice roll) “I find the book she's looking for.” “Thanks!” “It says you need to look up 'The Mare In The Moon'. So you go over to your giant encyclopedia and read a snippet about the legend, which is a prophecy. It tells of an evil imprisoned on the moon that will be freed on the night before the longest day of the year- that's tomorrow.” “Seriously?” “Yes.” “Okay, well- I send word of my discovery to the princess!” “How?” “By- Spike can teleport stuff?” “Yeah, that's my special ability.” “I have him write a letter and teleport it to the princess.” “Okay. A minute passes. Then Spike belches out a reply.” “Gross. What does it say?” “It says- Dear Twilight, I love you. You're my favorite student.” “Wait, the princess is her teacher?” “Yes, Abby, now shush.” “No, I agree. What?” “The princess is Twilight's teacher! She's an immortal demigoddess, why can't she teach?” … “How does she have the time?” … “Just- shaddup.” … “Whatever. The letter goes on to say that Twilight needs to stop being such a NEET and go make some friends.” “But I'm doing research, I'm learning-” “She's sending your to a small town that you can barely see if you look from your library's balcony over the edge of the mountain city.” “I'm in a building, in a city, built on a mountain, and I can't see the town?” “Barely.” … “Shit.” “Yep. Time to pack up.” “I roll to stay behind.” “No.” “I roll.” (dice rolls) “Shit.” “Critical fail. Not only are you going, you rush out so fast that you don't even tell anybody, and you take no luggage.” “What? But-” “Critical. Fail.” “Uugh.” “Right. So you're going to Blandsville to help organize for their Summer Sun Celebration- the longest day is tomorrow, remember. Once you arrive, the first person you meet is-” (shuffling papers) “Pinkie Pie. Diane, roll for reaction.” (rolls) “Yay!” “Pinkie screams in excitement and runs away. Twilight is confused.” … “I've been sent to this town to organize the party, that's what I'm going to do. Come on, Spike.” “Okay. I've still got the letter, right?” “Yes.” “That should have everything we need to know in it. I guess... let's visit Abby, first.” … “Okay. The two of you head out to Sweet Apple Acres, the largest apple farm in the land. Run by the Apple Family. You meet Applejack right away.” “I greet her enthusiastically.” “How enthusiastically?” “I just about take her arm off.” “Sure. Then what?” “I call out the rest of the family to show off the food we're making for the celebration.” “Twilight, they ask you to stay for lunch.” “No!” … “My little sister Applebloom makes them puppy-dog eyes at you.” “Roll for willpower.” “2, shit.” … “You stay and eat everything they put in front of you. After, you slowly make your way back from the outskirts of the town.” “That's when I fly right into her!” … “Roll for damage.” “I'm fine.” “Me too.” “Me three!” “Great. Rainbow Dash has just crashed into Twilight, but no one is hurt.” “Now I show off for her.” “Wait- is your character trying to romance my character?” “I wasn't thinking of that, but I guess it does look that way...” … “I'm cool with it if you are.” … “Let's just move on. I introduce myself and apologize for messing her up.” “I demand to know why she isn't doing her job.” “Ouch. Okay, I take it back. Here's where I show off.” “How?” “I clear the skies of clouds in ten seconds flat.” “Roll.” (dice rolls) … “Huh. How 'bout that.” “Like I said. Ten seconds flat.” “Well, with the sky clear, I guess Twilight can move on.” … “Yeah. Um. After I get over the surprise, I head for the town hall.” “There you meet Rarity, the beautiful mare in charge of decorations.” “Beautiful?” “Of course, darlings. Belle means beautiful.” “I roll for seduction.” … “What the hell?” “Pardon me?” “Geez, Sadie.” “What? Spike's male. He's old enough, right?” “Er- yes. Technically.” “Great. I roll.” (rolls) … “Oh.” “Three? Ouch.” “Sorry, Sadie. Spike takes one look at Rarity and falls head over heals. Unfortunately, he's so mesmerized that he doesn't say a word the whole time. She'll remember him as being vaguely cute.” “Serves you right!” … “Right. Well, Twilight talks to Rarity and complements the decorations.” “They are a delight, aren't they?” “Mmm.” “I try to give her a makeover.” “What?” “We don't have time for this. Twilight, roll for escape.” (dice rolls) … “Okay, I run away while Rarity is looking at outfits, and move on to the last item.” … … “Oh! Is it me?” “I walk up to Fluttershy as she's training some birds to sing a grand entrance song.” (dice rolls) … “You scare all the birds away.” “You also scare me. So I don't talk to you.” “Well if Fluttershy doesn't talk to me, I walk away. Come on, Spike.” “I roll perception.” (rolls) … “You see Spike just as he and Twilight are leaving.” “I've never seen a baby dragon! I rush over to talk to him, because he's a small animal.” “What? No! Spike is fearsome dragonborn.” “Maybe, but he's also young. The youngest- sorry Rainbow.” (grumbling) … “I talk to Spike about dragon things.” “Well I walk away with him.” “I follow.” … “Whatever. We reach the library, where we're going to be staying.” “Oh- okay. I should go, I guess.” “There's a party in the library!” “What?” “Surprise!” “Pinkie, what are you-” “While Twilight was out seeing the town, I spent the day organizing a surprise party to welcome her! And now the library is full of people talking and dancing to music and eating-” … “Nope! Nope nope nope! Twilight is not doing this.” “Roll for incompetency.” … “Ah, crap.” “Sorry. Zero.” “Nuts.” (rolls) … “Mother-hugger!” “You allow yourself to be pushed around by the party. Then, you try to get a drink and accidentally pour yourself a shot of pure Tabasco sauce, which you drink. You run off crying and take shelter in the bedroom upstairs.” … “Why does the library have a bedroom? And an upstairs?” “Ray, for the last time-” “Whatever.” … “Spike stays up dancing because he saw Rarity out there.” “Sadie!” “What? He just wants to talk to her.” (sigh) … “The night goes on. As morning gets nearer, Twilight fails to sleep. She whines about not getting to do research, but does nothing to shove the others out of the library. Finally, Spike comes to retrieve her for the party.” “I don't want to go.” “Too bad. Everyone goes to the town hall. There, the mayor announces that Princess Celestia will soon appear and raise the sun. The curtains are drawn- and she's not there!” (everyone fake gasps) (Suri chuckles) “Yeah. So, she's missing.” “I roll perception.” (rolls) … “You see some bluish fog creeping around the room. Seconds later, the fog comes together on the balcony in the shape of- Nightmare Moon! (Suri speaks as Nightmare Moon) “Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun-loving faces...” “Whoa. Good voice.” “Thanks. Now, don't interrupt. … “Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am? Does my crown no longer count, now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?” “I did. But the princess didn't listen to me.” “Well well well. Someone who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here.” … … “Did we ever state that?” … “Um- crap, no. Okay, so, she's going to make it nighttime forever.” “That doesn't sound so bad.” “Everything will eventually wither and die.” … “But isn't this place magical?” “Well- yes...” … “So what does it matter?” “And isn't magic stronger at night, anyway?” “Look, I think you're missing the point-” “I say, let her make it nighttime!” “I agree! Nighttime parties are more fun, anyway.” “Girls-” “All the nocturnal animals will be so happy! And I know the diurnal ones will get used to it.” “Girls.” “Shoot, we're up before dawn on the farm most days anyway. Working in the dark should be easy.” “Girls!” … ... “It's a bad thing. She's evil.” … “Okay. Whatever.” “Great. Now, where was I... Oh. “Remember this day, little peasants, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night. Will last. Forever!” (evil laugh) This seemed like a good stopping place. I have to take a nap before I continue. > Session 1, Part 3: Off The Rails > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ponies the RPG Session 1 transcript. Part 3 of 3 Ah, great nap. Let's keep going. “Mwah ha ha ha ha!” “Okay, I think the evil laugh has gone on long enough." “Ah ha ha ha-” “Suri!” “Jeez, fine. Okay, so we've got our villain. Everybody roll for initiative.” (multiple dice rolls) “Rainbow tries to attack, but Applejack holds her down. Pinkie tries to strike up a conversation and fails. Spike faints, and everyone else is too scared to do anything except stand there and maybe wet the carpet a little.” “Gross.” “Agreed.” … “There are a couple of solar guards stationed here by the princess. They both try to attack Nightmare Moon.” (dice rolls) “She blasts them with lightning. Then she decides she's messed around at this little gathering long enough, turns back into smoke, and flies out the window.” “I roll for initiative!” “I roll for initiative!” … “Tyra first, since she's the main character.” (dice rolls) “I grab Spike and run outside.” (dice rolls) “Well I fly out the window after Nightmare Moon.” “At that point, Rainbow sees Twilight running away. She snorts at her cowardice and keeps flying-” “Hang on.” … “What?” “Twilight's running away?” “Er- well, she didn't say she was specifically running after Nightmare Moon, so I just-” “In that case, I'm suspicious of why not. I fly after her.” … “Okay. Um. Twilight, where are you running?” “Back to the library. I have to learn more about Nightmare Moon. And find a way to wake up Spike.” … … “Twilight enters her library. She has no way on hand to actually wake up Spike, so she puts him to bed.” “Wait, am I not in this story?” … “Er-” “That's bullshit!” “Hey!” “I'm a freaking dragon! I could be super useful!” … “He should come with us, I think.” … “Let's do this. Roll to see how long it takes Spike, a baby by dragonborn standards, to recover from a night of partying and then seeing our BBEG.” “Fine!” (dice roll) “Yes! Nat twenty.” … … “What?” “Sadie, that means it'll be 20 rounds until Spike wakes up.” … “I...” “Sorry.” “Shit.” (coughing) … “Let's go back. Twilight, you're searching the books for...” “For information about Nightmare Moon or the Elements of Harmony. I guess I roll perception?” “Mmm. Incompetency.” “Oh.” (dice roll) (sigh) “Well, you don't manage to find the book. Then Rainbow crashes into the room, and starts asking what you know about this situation.” “At this point, nothing.” “I don't believe you. Spill it!” “Did the rest of us notice Rainbow and Twilight leaving?” “Roll perception.” (dice rolls) “Right, so me and the rest of the gals follow these two to the library. I pull Rainbow back- again.” “I ask her- much nicer- what she's looking for.” “I'm looking for a book to tell me about the Elements of Harmony. According to legend, they're what stopped Nightmare Moon in the past.” “I know where to look!” “Where, Pinkie?” “Under the letter 'E'!” … “How-” “Incompetency.” “Oh. Right.” … “I look where Pinkie pointed and I grab out the correct book. I read it out loud.” “Upon reading it, you discover that the Elements of Harmony are physical representations of six ideals, but only five are known. They are Loyalty, Honesty, Kindness, Generosity, and Laughter. When those five unite, a 'spark' will ignite to reveal the sixth Element.” “Cool.” “Indeed.” “Does the book say where the Elements are?” … “Yes. They were last seen in an ancient castle, located on the other side of the dangerous Everfree Forest.” “Okay. Well, I'm going to that castle next.” “Great idea. The journey will take a while, since you have to go around the forest...” “Why?” … “Excuse me?” “Why do I have to go around the forest?” … “B-because it's dangerous. Like, really dangerous. It's supposed to be one of the most dangerous places in the game!” “But wouldn't it be quicker to just go through the forest to the castle?” … “Yes...” “I go through the forest.” … “You know what? Fine. Who's going with her?” “I'm in.” “Wait, what?” “I'd like to see this castle.” “Hang on-” “Shoot, count me in, too.” “Wait-” “I should really grab some snacks first.” “Well, if you're all going, I suppose I could come, too.” “Girls!” … … “Nobody's coming with me. My character doesn't get along with others. She won't let any of you come.” “No way we're letting you go in there alone.” “Hold on. Everyone, roll for persuasion.” “No!” (multiple dice rolls) … “Twilight...” (grumbling) (dice roll) … “Twilight fails to get the others to leave. The six of you travel together to the edge of the Everfree forest, and after a slight hesitation, follow a thin trail into the woods. Twilight is in the lead with the map.” “She's not going to lead us off a cliff or anything, is she?” … “Not right now.” “Thank goodness. … “What's with that face?” “Heh heh. The trail leads you alongside a ravine, with a steep rock wall on the other side. Unseen by any of you, a cloud of blue smoke phases through the stone under the path. A moment later, the ground begins to rumble, then falls out from under you!” “I grab a branch!” “Um- I can fly. But I go help... I'll help Rarity.” “Thank you, Darling.” “I've got Pinkie!” “I would've been fine, but thanks Dashie.” … “Twilight, roll.” “For agility? Strength?” … “Oh.” (dice rolls) (relieved sigh) “You don't manage to stop your fall, but you do manage to grab the new cliff edge. You're struggling to hold yourself up.” “I go to help her.” “Roll strength.” “Thirteen.” “Hmm. Considering Twilight's weight-” “Hey!” “Sorry, you don't have the leverage you need to pull her up.” … (whispers) … “Okay, Twilight, I'm going to let you go. You need to let go of the cliff.” “What!” “Trust me, you'll be fine.” “No she won't, with that fall and her stats-” “Suri, you, too. I'm telling the truth- she'll be fine.” … “I let go of the cliff.” “Me and Fluttershy catch her in midair!” “We both rolled- 15 and 18.” “Fine. Twilight, they grab you and set you down at the bottom of the ravine.” … (dice rolls) “I hop down the rock fall and join the others.” “Great! We're all safe. According to the map, the trail follows the ravine before the two eventually merge, so we can just keep going.” “I never-” “You just dropped us off the cliff. Give me this one.” … “I guess.” “I also do a perception check.” (dice rolls) “Drat.” “You fail to see the blue smoke continue to follow you.” “Whatever.” … “After a little while, your reach a clearing. Suddenly, a ferocious roar splits the dead air. A manticore jumps out of the bushes, and roars again!” “I kick him in the face!” … “Are you sure you want to-” “If you all remember, at this point Rarity has learned martial arts.” “I can honestly say I didn't remember that.” “Well, it's true. I will now put those skills to use! I kick the manticore in the face.” … “Roll.” (dice rolls) “Oh dear.” “The manticore is enraged further. He swipes at you-” “I run away!” “And I wrangle him.” “Excuse me?” “Like a cow. I jump on that bucker's back.” … “You'll need a nat 20 to hold on.” (dice rolls) … “Crap.” “The manticore throws you off. Who's next?” … “Me?” (murmuring) “Go ahead, Fleur.” “Okay. Well, manticores aren't super territorial. So something must've upset him into attacking us. I roll perception.” (dice rolls) “You see that the manticore is favoring his left paw...” “I slowly approach him, making calming noises.” “He allows you to get closer.” “I check his paw.” “Turns out there's a five-inch thorn embedded in the meat of it.” (hisses of sympathy) “I pull the thorn out.” … “Okay. The manticore is so relieved, he acts like a giant kitten and licks your cheek.” “Yay.” … “Can we move on now?” … “Yeah.” “Right. Everybody, let's head on out.” … “A little ways further, and you encounter a river so wild it looks like the rapids before a waterfall. But there is no waterfall. There's a giant sea serpent, crying and stirring up the waves!” “I kick him in the face!” (groans) “Rarity, that didn't work last time.” “I know. But last time I completely botched that roll. This time it could work!” “Maybe try something else.” “Like what?” “Like, asking him why he's crying?” “Yes, you do that dear. When he eats you, the rest of us shall fight him off.” “I ask him why he's crying.” “Roll charisma.” (dice rolls) … … “To everyone's surprise, he answers. (Suri speaking as serpent) “I saw this strange blue cloud, and it- er...” “What?” “Give me a second, I wasn't planning on a conversation.” … “M'kay, uh.” (clears throat) “It cut off my moo-stache!” … “The snake has a mustache?” … “Yes?” … … “Okay.” “What are you going to do now, now that you know what terrible tragedy has befallen this creature?” “I'm going to ki-” “Rarity, no.” “Ahem. If you allow me to finish, I was going to say, I cut off- er... my ponytail?” … “With what?” “Mmm.” … “That serpent's scales oughta be pretty sharp.” “An excellent point. Thank you, Applejack. I rip out one of his scales!” “What the hug!” … “Just roll strength and lets move on.” (dice rolls) “I rip out a scale, and use it to cut off my ponytail, and then I use my magic to graft it into place of his mustache.” “She can do that?” “I'll allow it.” (grumbling) “Hey, this is all being made up on the fly, since you all decided to go through the forest. I had plenty planned for the journey around. Not this.” “Fair enough, I guess.” “In thanks for repairing his sweet 'stache, the serpent helps you cross the river. You continue on your way, the forest darkening around you.” “Spoopy.” “Please.” “Ahem. Once the forest is totally dark, not a hint of moonlight, the trees seem to move...” “Spoopy-er!” “And then faces appear on the trunks, horrible, monstrous faces like something out of your worst dreams!” (snort) … “What, Diane?” “Not me! Pinkie Pie!” “Huh?” “Pinkie laughs at the silly faces.” … “Okay...” “I'm basically a bard, right?” … “I feel like I'm going to regret this, but yes.” “I sing a happy song to make everyone forget how spooky this is, and we all laugh until our laughter makes all the evil tree faces explode!” … “Roll for it. Two d10's.” (dice roll) … “Hug it. You are all so filled with joy by Pinkie's song that you start laughing, and the sound of your laughter annoys the trees to the point that they all spontaneously combust. Miraculously, none of you get so much as a splinter, and you continue on your way.” “This is weird.” “How do you think I feel?” “Okay. So, following the map, we should be almost there...” “Yes, fine. You can see the castle ahead. Twilight, roll.” “Again?” “Yes.” (sigh) (dice roll) “You run ahead, and almost fall off another cliff. There's a chasm between you and the castle, and the bridge that was there has broken.” “I fly over and fix the bridge.” … “Hug!” … “Okay, so Rainbow flies over to fix the bridge. One the other side, a thick fog rolls in. Three shapes appear. It's the Shadowbolts, an elite flying team! They want Rainbow to join them.” “Wait, really?” “Yep. All you have to do is go with them and leave the bridge not fixed.” … “Obvious trap, here.” “Your character doesn't have the common sense to notice.” “Okay, but that doesn't mean I'm dumb enough to leave my friends.” “They're a very persuasive group.” … “Let's roll for it.” “Sounds good.” (dice roll) “Sweet! So, I ignore their very tempting offer, and fix the bridge.” … “Yes, you do that. The fog and fliers disappear after, and the six of you walk over to the castle.” “I enter the castle.” “It's nothing but ruins, overgrown with moss and vines. The walls are crumbling around you, it feels like. In front of you is a sculpture, with five orbs sitting on pedestals that stick out of the main pillar at different heights.” … “I roll perception.” (dice roll) “You detect a residual magic emanating from the sculpture, indicating that it has something to do with the Elements of Harmony.” “So, the orbs are the Elements?” “I didn't say-” “Girls, we have to get those orbs down.” (multiple dice rolls) “All good on strength checks. We grab those babies and bring 'em down.” “Now, it'll take a spark to find the last one. Did anyone bring a lighter?” “Hang on-” “Nope, no lighter.” “Okay. Then I'll have to use magic. This'll require concentration, and it would probably be safer if you guys were outside...” “We'll all leave.” “Okay, so I sit down and try to make magic sparks over the stones.” … … “What part of 'I didn't say those were the Elements' did you not get?” … “So they're not the Elements?” … “Well...” “Sweet!” “You weren't supposed to find them this soon! You were supposed to conclude that they'd been moved, and then go on a quest through the castle to find them. I wanted to wrap it up for the day. Then we could've come back and had a big, epic adventure.” … “Oops.” “Yeah, oops. Okay, well, your magic sparks don't work. But all this gives the blue smoke time to appear, and it starts swirling around you like a tornado. A moment later, you and the Elements vanish.” “We all run inside, worried about what's happening.” “You were supposed to stay outside, for safety!” “You can't tell them that, you're not there.” “Well where am I?” … (shuffling papers) “You and the Elements were teleported to a different room. Standing in front of you, holding the Elements, is Nightmare Moon.” “Uh oh.” “Roll initiative.” (dice roll) “Nice.” “I charge at Nightmare Moon, magic ready.” “She is surprised at first, but quickly recovers and charges, too.” “Just before we run into each other, I teleport.” (incoherent shouts) “She can do that?” “Sadly enough, yes. But she has to roll a d4 to check her stress. Too low or too high and she won't be able to focus on the spell.” (dice roll) “I teleport over to the Elements and try to activate them again.” … “Yeah, that fails, too. Nightmare Moon turns into smoke and flies back over, smacking you away. Then she stomps on the ground, and the Elements shatter.” “What!” “Yep.” … “Shit.” … “Where are we?” “Uh-” “I saw the magic lights coming from another part of the castle, and we run off to save Twilight!” “Good enough for me. Now all six of you are here, and you're about to get murdered by Nightmare Moon. Because there's no way any of you, or all of you, are high enough level yet to take her on.” … ... “What about the Elements of Harmony?” “What about them?” “Can't we use them?” … “Tyra, they're shattered. Nightmare Moon destroyed them.” “No she didn't. I mean, yeah, she sorta did, but remember the book? It said the Elements were just the physical versions of some bigger thing.” “Uh-” “Yeah, I remember. There were five known- Loyalty, Honesty, Kindness, Generosity, and Laughter. Well, Applejack was pretty honest when she told me I'd be safe letting go of the cliff. Fluttershy was really kind to that manticore. Rarity gave up her hair for the sea serpent. Pinkie made all our characters laugh at the tree demons. And Rainbow didn't abandon us on the bridge.” “So?” “So, they each represent an Element!” “I guess...” “And magic is energy, right? Energy cannot be created or destroyed. So therefore it has to go somewhere. The magic from the Elements should go to the nearest compatible hosts: my- my...” … “Your what?” “My friends.” … “You're all Twilight's friends!” “Ah, shucks.” “I'm serious. You stubbornly stuck by her side through this whole quest, braved all kinds of dangers because you guys believed in what she was doing. If you're not friends, I dunno what you are!” “Okay, but what does that-” “Friendship and Harmony are the same thing! I get it now- the spark was supposed to be a spark of realization. I just had it! And that means that the sixth Element should appear!” … (papers shuffling) “Fine. The sixth Element is Magic, the wonder of friendship realized. You all represent the Elements, so their magic goes to you. Now what?” “Now we kick butt!” “That's exactly right! The six of us stand together and concentrate on just our friendship.” (sigh) “As you do that, Nightmare Moon mockingly laughs at you. Then, to her surprise, the shards of the former Elements begin to move. They fly over to you six, and re-form into sparkling jewels in the shape of your crests, embedded in golden filigree. Most of you get necklaces, and Twilight gets a crown. Then a giant rainbow laser beam of friendship doom shoots out, smacks into Nightmare Moon, and pours liquid friendship down her throat.” … “That sounds like it should be pretty cool, but your deadpan delivery didn't sell it.” “Too bad. After a full minute, the beams shut off, and everybody opens their eyes to look at the pretty jewelry.” “Neat-o!” “Meanwhile, the night finally ends and the sun rises on what will probably be the shortest day of the year, and the Princess of the Sun appears.” “Since she's my teacher, I run over and greet her.” “Hello, Twilight. I knew all along you could do it.” “Defeat Nightmare Moon?” “Well, yes, but in doing so, make some friends!” … “Cool.” “Okay. Let's wrap this up. So Princess Celestia congratulates you all, then she walks over to where Nightmare Moon was. Instead, there's now a much younger looking, but still regal, figure.” “Ooh, ooh, who is it?” “It's Princess Luna, Celestia's younger sister, returned to her pre-Nightmare Moon form. She's been purged of the darkness that turned her evil. Celestia forgives her, and the two hug it out.” This is a genuine use of the word hug. Please don't misinterpret the sentence. “That's cute.” “Now lets have a party to celebrate!” “Um-” “I can get down with that.” “Yes, with two princesses here, we should be able to get out of the woods much faster than when we got in.” “Er- okay. Celestia teleports everyone back to Blandsville, and Pinkie immediately sets up a party.” “I'd just like to point out that I'm upset that I didn't get to do anything this campaign.” “You should be happy. Your character slept through the hard parts and gets to wake up to another party.” … “Okay. Can I flirt with Rarity?” “No!” “No!” “No!” ... “You know, I just realized I don't have a special ability.” … “Whaddya mean?” “Like Twilight and her magic, Rarity and her fighting, Fluttershy can talk to animals. Pinkie isn't like that.” … “What do you have in mind?” “Hmm. What if I were a shape-shifter?” “No. Too powerful.” “Aww. Well, then- what if I can just ignore the laws of physics if I get a nat 20?” … “That sounds even worse, but I'm tempted.” … “How about if you can only do it... whenever you roll double zeroes on two d10's, for a hundred?” “Sure!” “Okay, so that's sorted.” … (shuffling papers) … “Can I roll for meta knowledge?” “What.” “Seriously.” … “Go for it.” (dice roll) … “Your character now knows everything you know, including that she's just a character in a game and that she will cease to exist the moment the game stops being played. Why you would want your character to know this, I don't know.” “Yay! Well, now the campaign's over." "Thank god." "Can I shut off the-” The recording ended here. If other such recordings appear in the future, I will happily transcribe them for others' enjoyment. Bye for now! > Session 2, Part 1: Re-Dux > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ponies the RPG Campaign 2. Part 1 of 3 Hello! So after a while without any new recordings appearing, I decided to do a bit of poking around. Detective Flash, on the case! I eventually tracked down a phone number, and, well: Recording starts. “Hello?” “Hello? Is this Suri?” … “I'm not buying anything.” “I'm not a telemarketer!” … “My name's Flash Notion. I'm a writer.” “Okay...” “A few weeks ago I received a package; it was a recording-” “Let me guess. Me and a couple others playing a game?” “I think so. Just so we're clear, you're Suri? Friends named Tyra, Sadie, Abby-” “-Fleur, Bella, Rayanna, and Diane, who is going to get her ass reamed for sending you that recording after I told her to erase it.” “Don't be too mad! I really enjoyed listening to it. It felt amateurish, but fairly genuine. Do you guys- gals- play those kind of games often?” (laughter) “Not exactly. I mean, we're pretty settled in now, but back then? Nope. And that first campaign was a trainwreck. We were just experimenting, you know? Before that it was all fairly standard Dungeons and Dragons-type stuff, nothing extraordinary. I was kind of rail-roady as a GM.” “I see. So- um. You ah, you wouldn't happen to have any... more. Recordings, that is?” … “Why did you say you were calling again? Heck, why'd Diane send the recording to you?” “I dunno why she sent it to me. But I had an idea- I found the recording fun, even a bit funny. I wanted to share it-” “Oh god, please tell me it isn't plastered on YouTube.” “No! No, nothing like that. I'm a writer. I transcribed it, and I'd like to publish it.” … “Huh?” (slowly) “I'm a writer. I want to publish a transcript of the recording I received of your gaming session. Because it was funny to me.” … … “Do you really think people would like it?” “Heck if I know. But I did.” … “I guess. I mean, I don't see any harm in that. Just don't tell people how to call me or anything.” “Wouldn't dream of it. So, do you?” “Dream of it?” … “What?” “What?” (snorting) … “Sorry. What were you asking?” “If you had more recordings. Or if Diane has any.” “Sorry, but the answer's no. I've had a pretty hard-ass rule about no recordings after that first disaster.” … “I see...” … “Sorry.” “No, it's fine. It's perfectly understandable. I'll just publish the first bit, that's all good.” … … “Well-” “Hang on.” … “What?” … … “I could start doing the recordings. Make it, like, just a part of our sessions.” … “That'd be nice, but there'll be a big missing part-” “I'll tell you all about what's been happening.” “Huh?” “Can you record this conversation?” … … “Flash?” … “I am.” “What?” … “I already am. I was recording it. So I could have proof if you gave me permission.” … (audible inhale) … “I would've deleted it after if you didn't.” … “Would you have told me about the recording before you hung up?” … “Probably...?” … … “All right. So, you're recording?” “Yes.” “Good. I'm going to tell you everything I can remember from our second session.” “Oh. Er- just a sec.” … (shuffling) (scraping) (crashing) “What was that?” … “Flash?” “I'm okay!” … “What happened?” “I was getting a chair. Took a corner too fast.” … “Okay. I feel like I'm going to be here a while.” “Maybe. We're on our fourth campaign in 'Questria.” “That's the game?” “Yep.” “Cool name.” “Cool game.” “Can I have some background?” “Sure. So, there are five main races in the land of 'Questria. Humans, who have a strange charisma boost thing; Angels, who can fly; Elves, who can do magic; Taurus-es, who are super strong; and the gods, who can pretty much do it all. There's also the dragonborne, who live for a long time and their breath can do weird stuff, and some mer-folk, and a couple others. But those are the main ones.” … “I kind of meant about you and your friends.” “Oh. I mean... We're just, eight friends. We grew up together. Now we play RPGs together.” “I see.” “Should I keep going about the game?” “Oh, by all means.” “So the big idea was that this land of 'Questria was founded only a couple thousand years ago, and before that the place was a mess because the gods were always fighting. Now most of the gods have 'become one with their elements' or whatever, and the evil ones are all imprisoned, so it's just been Celestia the Sun Princess for a thousand years. And now, thanks to our campaign, Princess Luna of the Moon has returned.” “Sound's cool. But that last part I knew about. It was in the recording.” “Er- right. Well, a lot's happened since then. We're on our fourth campaign.” … “Wow.” “Yeah.” “That fast?” “We meet a couple times a week.” … “I guess we do play it often. We're a bit nerds, okay?” “I promise not to tell.” … (snickering)“Listen, let's just go over campaign number two, for now. Surely there's enough there for a full write-up.” “Oh, yeah. So much.” “After our horrible first experience, I ended up rebranding the whole thing; I basically started from scratch. Same characters, but I went way more overboard on the world. The town became Hyborea, based on the home of Apollo in Greek Mythology. The capital, where Celestia and Luna live, is Camelot. There are a few other cities and places, but they haven't been visited quite yet. Just a couple desert settlements in the south with modern-ish names like Dodge and Appleoosa. That one was founded by Applejack's cousins. Oh! And Muspel- that's where the dragonborne are from. Anyway. I decided to give them something to look forward to, something they couldn't rush as much: a Gala, to be held in Camelot at the end of the in-game year. They all came up with great reasons their characters wanted to go, which gave them each their own stories. Fluttershy wanted to see the palace gardens and animals, Pinkie was looking forward to the biggest party in the world, Applejack was planning on selling a bunch of her family's baked goods, Rainbow Dash wanted to meet the Wonderbolts, and Rarity was looking to meet the prince so she could seduce him. Oh, and Twilight had cheesed off the princess in the beginning of that round, so she was basically going to be in time out right beside Celestia the whole night. Which doesn't seem like the worst punishment to me.” “Getting to stand next to a goddess the whole night? I mean, I guess not. She's hot, right?” … (stiffly) “The issue of Celestia's attractiveness has never been discussed.” “What's her charisma like?” … “I don't have the papers, can we move on?” “Okay.” “Where was I- oh, right. I set each of them up with some quests to fill out the time between then and the Gala, and get their stats up a bit for next time we did a boss battle. It... didn't go well.” “Are we talking 'accidental character death' bad, or 'destruction of the universe', or something else?” “Something else. I had Applejack doing a fetch-quest for baking supplies and stuff, and she wanted her Taurus character to have a special skill that would let her punch all the apples out of a tree at once-” “What?” … “Uh, well, in the game, there's this system, where a character can get a special skill that they use their innate magic, or mana, for. And most character species have decent amounts of mana, and it gets better with levels on the ones that do. To get a skill, the player has to make a series of performance checks, and if they do it right, they'll preform the action. After they do it a couple times in a row, they can do an extra roll to memorize the skill, and from then on they'll only have to roll once for success.” “What kinds of skills?” “Anything, basically. AJ wanted to punch trees to get their fruit, Twilight does it every time she learns a new spell, Fluttershy can have a staring contest with someone and break their will, and Rainbow Dash can fly so fast her namesake shoots out of her ass and makes an explosion.” … “What? Just... what? She farts exploding rainbows?” (chuckling) “Basically.” … “That seems... seriously broken. What if I wanted to fart earthquakes?” (snort) “You could do it, but you'd need a ridiculously high strength stat to make it dangerous. Most likely, you'd do a bit of area of effect damage if you were standing right next to someone, and nothing else.” “I see. So... Did Applejack get her skill?” “Eventually. Her strength was high enough. But it took forever because she kept flubbing the last attempt before she would memorize it. The worst one- Jeez, she just about destroyed the town.” “I'm... sorry?” “Yeah, she kept rolling for damage and kept critting it at both ends of the scale. She punched the tree, an apple flew off, and that apple knocked over a building, scaring up a couple stampedes. And the animals ate half the town's food and knocked down a couple more buildings. And then more stuff happened, I don't remember, but there were plagues and a couple Angels were tossed and the whole town went to hell for at least a week. Like, almost literally. She was one roll away from having a portal to hell open under the town. Which sadly seems to be an average day in Hyborea at this point. She eventually got it, though. And just 'cause, I rolled it up for her brother Big Mac, too.” (chuckling) “Jeezus.” (more chuckling) “So what else happened? That can't be it.” “Nope. I cooked up a couple NPCs to mess with them a bit, mostly as revenge for them ruining that first campaign. Let's see... I had Rainbow practicing her flying tricks, so I came up with Gilda. She was just a bully, who happened to be a childhood friend of Dash and they hadn't seen each other in a while. Gilda was fun, she was from a tribe of Angels that were ultra-violent and really hardcore. Tons of attitude. Then there was Trixie, who I made up for Twilight, so she'd take a break from memorizing spells. I think she was up to thirty- maybe a little less- by the time Trixie got to town. Trixie was an elven stage magician who couldn't do actual magic worth crap, and so adopted a cocky and boasting attitude to cover her insecurities. She was pretty fun, too. Especially with Twilight rolling incompetence so often.” “Not bad. How'd the players deal?” “The usual.” “They cocked it up?” “They cocked up my plans. It only took maybe two rounds each for Gilda and Trixie to leave. Gilda because Rainbow stood up to her and told her she was a fake friend and to get lost, and Trixie because Twilight humiliated her in front of the whole town.” “I- wow.” … “So They just left? That's it?” “Yeah.” “They never came back?” “No...” “They should.” … “Why?” “I dunno, I just think they should. Trixie seems like the kind who just went through a Big Bad origin story. She could be an arc-villain.” “Maybe. I'll think about it.” … “So. They went to the Gala?” “Not for a bit. There were a lot of little adventures in that campaign. Like the dragon-” “A dragon! Little!” “Yeah, I decided they needed combat practice. So I had a low-level dragon make a nest nearby, and they had to go after it. Fluttershy got her Stare ability by using intimidation to make it leave. She just... stared it down. Eh? … Get it?” (dryly) “I get it.” “Hrmph. Well, after that there were some little things. Bella and Abby had a disagreement, so I made Applejack and Rarity have to work together. I made another NPC, an ally this time. She's a svartelf- that's a dark elf- named Zecora who knows shamanic magic. So far Twilight hasn't done much with that resource, but it's there.” “Complacent gaming syndrome. I remember in the first recording, you mentioned she played a mage in the previous game...” “Yeah, Tyra's always played as a mage or a wizard or similar thing.” “You'll have to really shake things up to get her to change, then.” “I tried, but I'm trying not to railroad them too much anymore. I sent a plague of bugs, a freak blizzard, some weird sports-tradition thing. They didn't take to any of them.” “That sucks.” “I know. Thankfully, they were pretty oblivious to my background rolling. I managed to set up a really big story element without them even caring: The Crusaders.” “A bunch of murderous knights?” (chuckling) “No, no. The Crusaders are a club made by Apple Bloom and a couple other girls. Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle, and this other girl, Scootaloo. They idolized the older player-characters and wanted to be just like them. So they went around having adventures, of sorts. Just much smaller in scale.” “Cute.” “Yep. This was around the time I gave Rarity her big quest- making the girls' Gala dresses.” “That sounds suitably hard.” “It was.” … … “Suitably-” “If you're trying for a pun, it's awful.” … “What, no! No. No. So what else?” … “A bunch of things. Diane figured out she could use her physics-breaking in combination with her meta knowledge to basically predict the future, and almost broke the game. Rainbow got her skill, which I didn't think was something that would be possible, but apparently in that universe it's the subject of some ancient legend or prophecy or something. Apparently her character also did it before, when she was really young, and it affected each of her friends. Somehow. But they didn't find that out until a little later. There was a bit more with Fluttershy's Stare, and the Crusaders got a clubhouse. Rarity got kidnapped by Kanids, Fluttershy almost had a career as a model, we went to Appleoosa, and Celestia visited with her pet phoenix and vindicated Fluttershy's reason to go to the Gala.” “They got through all of that? There's entire campaigns in some of these situations!” “I know. Some of them were ideas I had for later campaigns, and I had to use them for small shit because there was so much time left before the Gala. I set it a little too far away, and they were just that capable. It was ridiculous.” “I hope it doesn't get any worse.” “It got way worse.” “Seriously?” “Oh, yeah. Sadie was cheesed at me because I wasn't giving Spike enough attention. So she made him start acting like a little asshole in-game, and he eventually just ran away. It wouldn't have been so bad, except Twilight was rolling incompetency hard. She rolled so badly that it infected the others; she rolled so badly, I actually ended up changing the probabilities for her being affected, using two d10's and requiring a 90 or higher.” “How bad did it get?” “She basically never noticed there was a problem, and then cast a negative probability field over the area that made bad luck happen everywhere, and still didn't see that something was wrong. And then Spike took shelter in a hidden dragon's nest, and then they were chased...” “Wow.” “The best part? Er- depending on your definition. She didn't take down the field! It ended up causing Pinkie's brain to short circuit from too much magic going through it- she had her meta knowledge, her future-predicting, and now a bad-luck dome. Pinkie went crazy, started talking to random objects, and lost her physics-breaking powers in exchange for super-strength and super stubbornness.” “So Twilight gave her friend a magic lobotomy?” “Not exactly, it wasn't permanent. She just had to take down the field for everything to go back to normal.” … … “Did she?” “Yeah. It was a lot harder than it should've been, and they almost destroyed the town again. But yeah, they fixed it.” “Jeez. And this was all just the middle of the campaign. What was the ending like?” “Heh heh. There were two stages to that. And it all begins with the absolute worst night of their lives...” … “Wait, the players or the characters?” … “Yes?” … “Do you do this often?” “Do what?” “Confuse people in conversation.” “Probably. You're the first to comment on it, though.” “I see. So... this worst night. That must've been the Gala.” “Yeah.” … “Well don't leave me hanging. What happened?” Here's as good a time as any for me to cut out. Next time: things go horribly wrong. … Er. Wrong-er.